#bucky barnes fanfiction
Pairing: Paramedic!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Recovery is a long process; Bucky knows that better than anyone. He just really needs to get you standing before he can get down on one knee.
Word count: 5k
Warnings: Descriptions of injury
a/n: This is a part two to my fic ‘Flashing Lights’! Read part one here!! Sorry for taking ten years to write it, but here it is!! :)
You can follow my library blog @pellucid-library for fic update notifications 🤍
The red lights filtered through your living room window before the sirens sounded off. They were quick—just a heads up that it was your boyfriend banging up the stairs to your apartment. You rushed to grab your things before he got inside, but with your legs still stiff from your surgery all those weeks ago, ‘rushing’ was nearly impossible.
“Hey, pretty girl, you ready to go?” Bucky called out, his boots heavy against the hardwood.
“Just a sec!” you yelled. “I need to grab my jacket.”
“The one at the top of the closet? I’ll get it for you, don’t move.”
“No, no. I got it, Buck. Just let me—uh, hold on, I just need to—” You knocked over a few boxes from the top shelf, sidestepping them to the best of your ability.
Bucky’s footsteps were then hurried in the hallway. “You okay back there? I’m gonna come help you, just hang on.”
You let out a huff and hobbled back, abandoning your plans to be independent. It’s not like you weren’t used to it; your life had been an endless loop of needing help, and the plastic braces on your legs always exacerbated things. Bucky appeared in the doorway a moment later, his lips turning up in a small smile after his eyes had assessed you for any damage.
He reached up and grabbed the jacket, giving your chin an affectionate tap as he passed it to you. “There we go. Now you won’t get wet in the rain.”
“Great,” you grumbled. “Now if I could only get dressed by myself, this would be a perfect day.”
Bucky tugged you to his chest and pressed his lips to your forehead. “Aw come on, pretty girl, it’s not so bad. You walked all the way back here by yourself. That’s progress!”
“Oh yeah, definitely. Someone get this on camera! I can walk down the hallway.”
“Hey, at least the accident didn’t take away from your sense of humor.”
Your life had also been an endless loop of Bucky’s positivity. The second the doctor cleared you to go home, he was all smiles and encouraging words. You took it as residual worry; just Bucky still dealing with the emotions from the crash. Bucky saw it… differently. In his eyes, the more supportive he was, the less you would want to get back in a car on your own.
The chest patches on his uniform scratched against your cheeks as you pulled away. “You ready to take me to the hospital now, Dr. Barnes?”
“Definitely not a doctor, sweetheart.” He brushed his thumb against your cheek before leaning in for a quick kiss. “But yes. I’m sure Wanda’s very excited for your appointment. She’s been goin’ on and on about how well you’re doing. Tells everybody on her floor about ya.”
Your cheeks burned. “I’m not doing that well. She’s just being nice.”
Bucky started leading you out of the apartment, a protective hand pressed to the small of your back. You knew he would have preferred to just pick you up and carry you out, but since you started physical therapy, you had been adamant about doing things on your own. And Bucky had been very hesitant to agree.
“I’ll be the judge of that one.” He lifted you up when you reached the stairs outside. Some things were still too hard. “I’m gonna sit in on your appointment today. Gotta see how you’re doin’. And there’s the business of you getting these off.” His pointer finger tapped at the brace on your calf.
“You have time for that? I thought you had a full shift today.”
“Got Stevie to cover for me. Been workin’ too much and I miss my girl.”
He set you down in front of the ambulance, opening the passenger door and guiding you in. Once he had you settled, he slid in himself and put the van in drive.
“Buck, you don’t have to pick me up in this thing every time. We could always take a cab,” you said, glancing at the medical equipment in the back of the vehicle.
“Nah, we couldn’t take a cab. Cabs can’t get through traffic if there’s an emergency.”
“I hardly think my physical therapy appointment constitutes an emergency.”
“Guess not, but it’s still bigger than a cab, you know? Safer that way. Those tiny cabs are like death machines.”
There it was—the massive, ever present elephant in the room. Ever since the accident, Bucky hadn’t allowed you within ten feet of any vehicle smaller than a minivan. You had offered to catch a cab to your appointments plenty of times, but he never agreed. He was always bounding up those apartment steps every week with keys in hand. And if it wasn’t the ambulance, it was Bucky’s massive pickup truck that took up too much space on New York City’s narrow streets.
“You know, Bucky,” you cautiously replied, “I’m going to have to drive myself places eventually. Maybe even have to take a cab every once in a while. Your supervisor’s going to stop giving you time off eventually.”
He tucked his hair behind his ear, metal whirring with the movement of his arm. “We’ll deal with that when the time comes, sweetheart. For now, just let me get you to the hospital.”
You shut up after that; Bucky’s eyes became shifty and his left knee started to bounce to a rhythm you couldn’t place. You had made him nervous.
You seemed to do that a lot since the accident.
The first time you realized it was over the phone. It was two weeks after you got home from the hospital, and you called him at work to let him know the power had gone out in your building. He didn’t even let it ring once.
“You okay? I can be there in fifteen minutes, sweetheart, what's wrong?” He hadn’t even said hello.
Once Bucky realized you were, in fact, okay, and there was no reason for him to be running down the halls of the hospital with Steve trailing behind him, the conversation ran a bit smoother. He was still uncomfortable with you being home alone with no mobility and no power, but you reassured him you were fine. He sent Sam to the apartment anyway.
Then there was the incident at the restaurant; the incident that you were convinced was entirely no one’s fault, but Bucky begged to differ. It was your first real outing since Wanda cleared you to walk short distances. Bucky took you to the Chinese place one door down from your apartment. Everything was fine—great even.
Until you got up to go to the bathroom.
“I got it, Buck. What, are you gonna go in with me too?” Your tone was light, but you weren’t messing around. You needed to make this small walk by yourself.
“I know you got it. But I think it’d be better if I just—”
It was a Friday night. The restaurant was busy. Of course standing in the middle of a walkway would get you flat on your back, a tray of ice water toppling over your chest, and the stocky waiter hovering over you. His eyes were wide as he attempted to help you up, but his body was ripped from yours in an instant.
Bucky was not a violent man; he comforted old women when they fell down the stairs and held children when they cried outside of house fires. He baked cookies with you when you were sad and bought Alpine special cat food when she was sick. Bucky was a good man. But Bucky saw you half-dead in the middle of the street, and that follows a person.
“What the hell is your problem, man?” he seethed. The waiter was tossed into the table as Bucky crouched beside you. “Are you blind? The girl as braces on her legs and you go pushing her like fucking ass.”
“Is it that hard to look? You probably set her back weeks.”
In all honesty, the fall didn’t exactly feel great; you landed weird on your already tender back and one of your knees bent more than it was ready to. All that, and your shirt was completely soaked through. You were also pretty sure one of the plastic cups had knocked you over the head, but that was the least of your worries.
You hid any discomfort on your face to save the horrified looking teenager leaning against the table. But Bucky could always tell when something was wrong, and the night was over before it had started.
“I—I’m so sorry. I didn’t even see her, I swear. I can comp your meals and—and—”
“Just leave,” Bucky grumbled. The waiter didn’t need to be told twice. “You're alright, sweetheart, right? Tell me if this hurts or if you can’t feel it.”
His hands were steady on either side of your neck, pressing his fingers into points that probably had meaning. When he was satisfied up there, he reached down and started feeling up your spine. Each time you didn’t cry out in pain, he gave himself a satisfied nod.
“Bucky, I’m really okay. People are staring and my knee kinda hurts—”
Wrong thing to say. Bucky picked you up before you could finish talking, and had you in Natasha’s office so fast it made your head spin.
You had been fine—obviously—but that was just one instance in the chain of events that was Bucky’s worrying.
He was more subtle about it the healthier you got. Instead of body slamming a waiter for running into you, he would create a barrier between you and those that walked by you, his body acting as a wall. When he couldn’t cart you around in a wheelchair anymore, he would snake his arm around your waist and lift you up just enough so that you had no weight pressing into the ground.
And of course, there were the ‘check ups’. For the first month you were home, Bucky greeted you every morning with a full diagnostic; limb movement, temperature check (he didn’t want you to get an infection), antibiotics, a rollerball on your back, and then you could get out of bed. When you stopped letting him do that, you could feel the way his fingers still assessed your tendons when you sat with him on the couch. And you swore he was kneading the muscles in your back as you slept because there was no way it felt so good right after waking up.
But Bucky loved you, and you loved him. You knew if things were the other way around, you would be doing just as much. So you let him fret over you and acted like you didn’t notice, all to give him peace of mind.
Today though. Today was different.
Wanda said you might get to take the braces off, and unfortunately for Bucky, you weren’t going to let him talk you out of it.
What you didn’t know was that Bucky wanted you out of those things almost as much as you did. Because he had plans; plans that involved you standing on your own two legs, free from any reminders of the incident, and wholly, completely focused on him.
With a final turn into the back of the hospital parking lot, Bucky snatched the keys out of the ignition and jogged to the other side to help you.
“Ah, ah, Mr. Barnes,” you chided, slipping your feet down. “If I’m getting these suckers off, then I need to be able to get out of a car on my own.”
“Sweetheart, this thing’s huge. Lemme just—”
“Bucky,” you warned.
He sighed, but backed off with raised hands. You struggled a little as you shimmied down, and Bucky’s lip disappeared between his teeth when your feet connected with the ground, but you did it. A swell of pride consumed your chest at such a simple task; it seemed like things were actually starting to get better.
“I did it, Buck,” you laughed. “I actually got out of a car by myself.”
His eyes shone, hands stuffed into the pockets of his work pants. “You did, pretty girl. Saw with my own two eyes.”
The smile you threw back at him sent a heat through his chest that he hadn’t felt in a while. A part of you had vanished in the accident; the part that Bucky loved the most. The smiles and the laughs and the witty humor that made him hunch over and wheeze. Little by little, that spark within you started to reignite; the more you healed, the more you came back to him.
He hoped you would be cleared today, because if you were, then the rest of the night was going to really bring that light out of you. At least he hoped it would.
“Let’s get those things off of ya.” He swung his arm over your shoulders, guiding you to the physical therapy floor of the hospital. But he still didn’t put the full weight of his arm on you. You hoped that would stop soon; that you would feel normal again.
“Wait, don’t you think she should hold on until—”
“Barnes, I will kick you out of this room so fast.”
“Wanda, I was just saying. Maybe she holds on until after she takes them off.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Wanda scoffed, continuing to unbuckle the braces on your legs. “Did you go to physical therapy school? No, you didn’t. Don’t make me get Natasha.”
Bucky slid down further in the tiny plastic chair, hand coming up to rub at his forehead. He had been doing really well not saying anything during the appointment, even when you could see the way his knee bounced when you hissed through your teeth, legs still sensitive to the touch. It wasn’t until it was time to take the braces off that he spoke up.
“Bucky, the worst that’ll happen is that I fall flat on my face. And Wanda won’t let that happen. The ortho said I was good to go on the inside; all the rods are in place. It’s just up to me at this point,” you explained.
He could tell you were nervous. You always rambled when you were nervous.
“You don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready.”
You shot him a look. “I’ve been talking about this for weeks.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to be ready.” He stood, kneeling in front of your chair as Wanda prepped the room for your walk. “There’s always next week. Or the week after that. Hell, I’d be willing to cart you around on my back until we were old and gray if you wanted.”
He looked so sincere. Bucky’s hands had come up to rest gently on your newly uncovered thighs, and you tried to imagine being an outsider in this situation; being one of the people Bucky saved off of their bedroom floor or at the playground. His kind eyes bore into yours as he smiled that half smile that won you over and it made you feel safe.
It would make anyone who looked at him feel safe.
Bucky was a good paramedic, but more than that, he was a good man; a good man that was yours. And you wanted to be whole for him.
“I want to do it now,” you whispered. “For us. To get our lives back on track.”
“I don’t care what track my life’s on, pretty girl. S’long as you're on it.”
“Alright you big flirt. But I can’t keep those things on forever. I do have a job outside of sitting on our couch you know.”
He laughed, the curve of his finger bringing your chin down to press his lips to yours. “I’d say that’s not too bad of a job,” he said against your skin. “Wouldn’t mind my wife sitting on the couch everyday when I got home.”
A surprised sound escaped your throat just as Wanda clapped her hands, disorienting you further.
Wife? You and Bucky had always talked about getting married, but he hadn’t brought it up a single time since the accident. You were actually getting a little worried that he stopped thinking about it. Springing a word like that at you right before you had to take the test of a lifetime was jarring.
“Everybody ready?” Wanda smiled.
Bucky gave your leg a comforting rub, an unknowing smile on his face before you spoke, “Uh, yeah. Ready, Wanda.”
It was hard. Walking without the braces to support your weakened muscles was beyond hard. And you weren’t even allowed to hold onto anything; for months you had the rails to guide you, and now you were walking with absolutely nothing. Your shoes appeared too big compared to your shrunken ankles, the scars on your legs screamed angrily back at you as you took them in.
Bucky nodded to you with kind, encouraging eyes, but all you felt was embarrassment. What kind of adult didn’t know how to walk? Who else had to look their boyfriend in the eye and attempt to take their first steps like some toddler? Not to mention the pain. After not being on your feet for such a long period of time, everything ached. Your feet, your ankles, even in your bones.
You could feel the air in your lungs start to burn. You couldn’t do this, not with everyone’s eyes on you. This was humiliating; it hurt and they were looking at you with so much hope and you could fail. You brought a hand up to clutch at the material of your shirt—to yank it away from your heaving breaths—when metal met your skin.
“Look at me.” Bucky’s level voice brought you to the surface of a water you didn’t know you were under, but you couldn’t break through yet. “Look at me, sweetheart.”
Dazed eyes snapped up to his, and he continued, “You feel that? You feel the metal?” He pressed the vibranium hand to your cheek. “I did this, just like you. It hurts and it doesn’t feel good. I was so angry at myself—at my body—for not just doin’ what I wanted it to. I wanted it to be like how it used to be right away. That Stark scientist showed up with his fancy briefcase, and I thought I was home free.
“But—hey, look at me, y/n,” he stressed, bringing your fallen eyes back up. “It was nothin’ like that. Stevie came with me to the appointments to get me used to the prosthetic and I couldn’t even grab a damn apple. Kept rollin’ all over the place and I even crushed a few. Got him right in the eye with apple juice a few times”
Your eyelashes fluttered, and Bucky took that as a good sign. He started to shift your weight away from him.
“Was real embarrassed too. I couldn’t even do my job for a full year. Couldn’t look any of the guys in the eye without feelin’ stupid. I had an arm, I should’ve been able to use it, right? But it’s not that easy. It wasn’t for me, and it’s not for you.” When your breathing evened out, he steadied you on your feet. “You with me, pretty girl?”
Your chest felt normal again—good and even. “Yeah, sorry, I just—it was just—”
“It’s a lot. I get it. Take your time, sweetheart. Like I told you, ‘old and gray’.”
You glanced over Bucky’s shoulder, receiving a reassuring nod from Wanda. You were on your own feet again, you realized; it was now or never.
With a deep breath, and Bucky’s words ringing through your head, you took a step. And then another. They were jerky and stiff, but they were steps. Your lashes fluttered again, but this time it was in surprise.
You just had to make it to the line on the other side of the room. Then you could get braces off and be one step closer to your old life with Bucky; the one that didn’t have him escorting you out of cars and carrying you down the stairs.
Just a few more steps. You were starting to sweat, but that wasn’t going to deter you.
“C’mon, sweetheart, almost there.” Bucky's hand was covering his mouth as he spoke, nerves increasing with anticipation. Wanda wasn't reacting as much, and you had to remind yourself that she was a professional and not just your close friend. Bucky’s career always blurred the lines there.
As soon as the line of tape hit the tip of your shoe, a breathy laugh escaped your chest, filling the room with the most amazing sounds Bucky had ever heard. Because you were laughing with yourself this time, at something you did; something you were proud of.
“God, I knew you could do it. My girl’s amazing, isn’t she, Maximoff?” His arms wound around your waist, lifting you as you continued your broken laughs. “Go on, tell her.”
Wanda leaned against the wall, shaking her head fondly. “She is pretty amazing. But she’s been putting up with you for years, so I already knew that.”
The room blurred past your eyes as Bucky spun you, kisses pressed into your neck with each praise he showered you with. And you had only taken about ten steps; you didn’t even want to consider what he’d do when you walked down an entire block. Actually, maybe you did want to consider it. With those shackles off of your legs, there was a lot you wanted to consider.
Bucky nuzzled his head further into your neck with so much glee that you were beginning to question his intentions. You thought he would’ve been opposed to you being able to walk free; no more braces meant much more freedom—more dangerous opportunities. So why did the smile against your skin rival the sun?
“So—” Wanda trailed off, halting Bucky’s never ending kisses. “You two have plans then? Bet you can pick out a cute outfit now that you don’t have those hunks of plastic on your legs.”
You craned your neck down at Bucky, still hoisted up in his arms. “I mean I don’t think so. Do we, Buck?”
Bucky raised an unamused brow at Wanda—who, by the way, knew all about Bucky’s master plan—before giving you an adoring smile. “I’ll figure somethin’ out to celebrate, pretty girl. This is a big day for you. You just get dressed when we get home.”
“Well I mean if you insist.”
He could get used to this; to the way you left his chest compressed with your smile. Your real smile. The one he fell in love with.
After holding up about a dozen dresses to your body in front of the mirror, you decided on pants. Pants would hide the ugly scars that ran up your legs—red and cruel and a reminder. At least you didn’t have to wear shorts anymore.
Plus, Bucky hadn’t told you where you were going.
“Almost ready, sweetheart?” he called.
“Yeah, just give me about ten minutes to walk down the hall.”
Bucky laughed, and it wasn’t one of those uncomfortable, pity laughs he’d been giving you. Who knew hobbling a few steps in the hospital would lift such a weight off of his chest? Again, it was almost strange to you. Of course Bucky wanted you to walk comfortably, but something was different about him; he was more…confident, sure of himself.
When you finally re-entered the living room, you were surprised to find Bucky still in his uniform.
“Did you get called in?” you asked, trying to mask the disappointment in your tone.
He quickly raised his hands. “No, sweetheart, I wouldn’t leave ya after such a big day,” he smiled. “I just thought that maybe this would—uh, you know what, can you grab my coat out of the closet for me? Now that you’re a walkin’ woman and all.”
You laughed. “Did you wait to get ready just so I could walk to the closet all by myself?”
“Yeah, that’s why.”
He was acting very strange, and you had to repress a second laugh as you started your trek to the closet. When you flung the door open, Bucky’s usual black overcoat wasn’t hung up. And he most likely knew that. You gripped the metal handle a little tighter.
“Buck, your coat’s not even in here,” you looked at him from over your shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Oh!” he flung his head back in feigned forgetfulness. “You know what I think it fell off the hanger. D’you see it on the ground?”
With furrowed brows, you glanced back in the closet. Sure enough, it was lying on the ground in a massive heap. Which was unusual considering there were only two things hung up in this closet at all times.
“What, is this some type of bending test? Bucky, there are much easier ways to test the dexterity of my knees than playing mind games with me.”
But you bent anyway—very slowly—and grabbed his jacket, only to uncover a very out of place cardboard box when you did so. You had spent every day of the last few months in this apartment; you knew what was in here and where it was. Bending again, you snatched it in your hand.
“C’mere, I’ll open it.”
He flipped a tool out of one of the many pockets of his uniform, and sliced through the tape covering the crease. He was taking his time to slowly open it, shifting certain corners away from you.
“Bucky,” you whined. “This feels like a riddle or something. What the hell are you doing?”
“Well I saved a few of these,” he began, pulling something out of the box. “Figured I’d need ‘em for some grand romantic gesture the moment I met you.”
And he shoved a sticker in your face. The same sticker he used to flirt with you all those years ago at the children’s fair. It was an almost perfect replica of the patch currently on Bucky’s chest, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t transport you to the first day you met, with his, “I’d break the rules for you any day, sweetheart” and the ever so charming, “you gotta boyfriend walkin’ around here somewhere?”.
You cracked a confused smile. “Okay—cute, but why the gesture?”
“Ah, you don’t remember? I think I promised you a whole box of these on our first date, didn’t I?”
“You did. Which you did bring me. And then we donated them back a few years later. At least I thought we donated them.”
“Oh, you’re right, sweetheart. Of course.” The looks you were throwing at him were comical as he faked exasperation. “So you think I’m a bad guy for not sending them all back?”
“Bucky—what are you going on about?”
“Wanna take a look inside and tell me if I should donate the rest?”
Humoring your half-mad boyfriend, you glanced inside.
And then with wide eyes, you shot your head back up. “Bucky,” you choked. “That’s not—”
“It is.” His tone was low. “Now I’m gonna get on my knee in front of my girl, and she’s gonna stand while I propose to her.”
Your waterline glistened as you tracked his figure down, a joyful sob bubbling up in your throat. He looked so unbelievably happy to be doing this; to be on the floor of your living room with Alpine bouncing around his feet, his head now far below yours.
“You came outta nowhere, I’ll give ya that. I volunteered that day to get out of conditioning with Fury, and I left knowing my future wife.” Tears fell down your cheeks. He grabbed one of your hands in his—in the metal one. “And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thanked my lazy ass for doin’ that because you? You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. You make me slow down and enjoy the little things, not spend all my days working. You gave me Alpine and this wonderful home and this amazing life.
“I’d been tryin’ to propose for months. And then you got hurt, and I thought I missed it; that you were gone and you didn’t know how much I love you. So I waited for this to be separate from that, but I can’t wait anymore.
“I love you, y/n. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Marry me?”
If someone told you that every emotion from the past few months was now crashing down on you, you would have believed them. Joy and pain and love and sadness and so, so much happiness you would never be able to fully explain it. All of it. All at once. And Bucky just kept looking at you as if you hung his world.
The ring you knew cost way too much was held out in his hand as if you needed that; as if you would ever need anything other than the way he felt against your skin and his soothing words in your ear. He pushed it out a little further when your eyes flickered over the stone, and the ache in your chest grew.
There was so much that went into this man in front of you; so much good and so much love.
But you could ask anyone, and they’d tell you the same thing. Because Bucky was a good paramedic, but more than that, he was a good man; a good man that was yours.
“I love you. I love you so much, of course I will.”
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Summary: After a brutal mission, Bucky needs a little reminder about where is home is, or who is home is.
Word Count: 1.3k
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You were the last person he wanted to see right now. Usually, he’d feel the exact opposite, but with each drip of blood that fell down his cheek, he knew he couldn’t. No matter how much he wanted to hold you close, to bury his face in the crook of your neck and melt into your warmth, it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth seeing the inevitable horror on your face as you realized your boyfriend was a monster.
“She’s not going to think that, Buck,” Sam told him as they flew back in Torres’ plane, slumped over the seats. “No matter what you did today. She’ll understand that you did what you had to do to get back to her.”
Words fall through me and always fool me
Bucky just grunted in response as he readjusted himself. He was lying flat on his back, taking up at least six seats with how tall he was.
“Don’t do that, man,” Sam warned, his tone sharp.
“Do what?” Bucky asked defensively, snapping his eyes away from the ceiling towards Sam.
“You turn into some sort of statue when you think too much. The staring, the clenching of the jaw, the grunting. You got something to say, just say it.”
Bucky sighed in frustration, opening his mouth to speak before closing it again and cringing.
“I promised myself when we started dating that I would keep them as out of… this… as a possible. Coming home covered in blood and bruises after nearly beating a guy to death-”
“He deserved it, Bucky, with the way he was baiting you.”
“I still shouldn’t have done it.”
“You’re an agent, that’s your job-”
“You don’t get it!” Bucky screamed in desperation, shooting up from his position to pace in front of Sam, who watched on with curious eyes.
Bucky’s heart beat sped in sync with the sound of his feet against the floor.
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
“I’ve been an agent, soldier, spy, weapon, for seventy years. I want to be something different now, something better. I’m not asking to be some hero like Steve, I’m just asking to be something that’s… not a monster. They deserve better than a monster. But old habits die hard, I guess.” Bucky poured out his heart into the confession, his voice cracking towards the end when he mentioned you. He crossed his arms across the chest as if it would shield him from the embarrassment he felt.
He didn’t even notice Sam stand up and walk over to him until he felt the man’s hand on his shoulder.
It's time that you won
“You’re not a monster, Bucky, you’re lost. Think about it: your 20s are supposed to be your pivotal years- the ones where you can finally find yourself- and you spent half of them in a laboratory in Siberia. You don’t know who you are yet, what your purpose is, the type of man you want to be. But there’s someone waiting for you, who loves you, who can help you figure it out. Go home, Bucky. And I don’t mean just to your apartment.”
Take this sinking boat and point it home
The sound of the front door clicking open made your ears perk up from your place on the couch. The velvet felt nice, but it wasn’t as comfortable as laying on Bucky’s chest, feeling the beat of his heart and the roughness of his skin. So when you saw him walk through the doorway, your heart fluttered, desperate to get him back into your arms.
“Hi, sweetheart-” you started, but quickly stopped yourself when you saw the state he was in. A trail of blood follow him as he stepped further into the apartment, falling from his suit. And his face, covered in purple bruises, was void of any happiness. It wasn’t even sad, it was just… hollow.
“Buck?” You whispered softly, tilting your head as if to ask what’s wrong, my love?
He knew what you meant, he always did. The most interesting about loving someone for as long as you’ve loved each other is that words became increasingly obsolete, replaced instead with instinct.
And I'm painted black
So when he heard your unspoken question, he broke into painful sobs. Tears streamed down his cheeks, falling down on the floor and mixing with the blood.
You went to run to him, but before you could get up from the couch, Bucky collapsed on top of you, into your embrace. He clung to you as his heart shattered into tiny pieces around the living room. And with each kiss to his forehead, each squeeze of your arms, each run of your fingers through his hair, you were slowly picking up the pieces.
“Breathe, love, breathe,” you urged him as his sobs started to interrupt his breaths, causing him to hyperventilate. You pulled back from him slightly to cup his face as you helped him.
“In,” you whispered, inhaling sharply after.
“Out,” he responded softly, letting out a shaky breath.
You nodded, pressing your forehead against his and staring into his eyes. They held a certain confliction that wasn’t exactly foreign to Bucky, but that you hadn’t seen in him in a while.
“Want to talk about it or no?” You asked him, running your thumb over his stubble.
Your lips quirked upwards into a small smile when he leaned further into it and kissed it gently.
“Not a good day… obviously.”
You snorted and he rolled his eyes playfully.
“I…” he sputtered, trying to find the right way to put all of what he was feeling and thinking into a few words. “I thought I was doing better, I guess. Thought that I was becoming better, and then it was like I completely reset. Batroc was there, baiting me. I just lost it. Nearly killed him. Sam said I’m just lost, but…. I’m sorry, doll, y-you deserve so much better than this.”
He sniffled and turned his eyes to the couch, refusing to look at you. You could feel the shame radiating off of him in waves, so you pressed a soft kiss to his hair.
Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice
“It doesn’t get much better than you, honey. You don’t have to say it, I know you think you’re as worse as it gets but… your heart is so big and filled with so much love. It’s beautiful. You hurting Batroc doesn’t mean you’re resorting back to your Winter Soldier days. He baited you, right? It just means you’re human. Humans overreact and make mistakes all the time. I do, so does Sam, so did Steve. No one’s expecting you to be perfect, and you shouldn’t either, so cut yourself some slack. You’re allowed to mess up, and when you do,” you slipped your hand into his, interlacing your fingers, “I’ll be right here to help you get back on your feet. Cause I’m not going anywhere, Barnes.”
“Promise?” He whispered, tilting his head back towards you so you were eye-to eye, lips nearly brushing against each other.
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
He closed the nearly non-existent gap between the two of you, capturing your lips against his own. His were chapped, and you could taste dried tears, but kissing him always felt like the biggest breath of fresh air. The world faded into nothing but a blurry picture around you two as you climbed into his lap. He wrapped his arms around your thighs, pulling you as close to him as possible, before moving them up and under your t-shirt.
“You seem to be feeling better,” you chuckled against his lips, feeling it when he smiled in response.
“You’re always the best medicine, doll.”
“Well, come on, Mr. Barnes,” you told him, climbing off his lap and causing him to whine in protest. “You’ve had a long day and deserve a good night’s sleep.”
He shot you a loving, but mischievous smile before peeling himself off the couch and taking your hand.
“Lead the way, future [Mr/Mrs] Barnes.”
346 notes · View notes
Torture ~ Part 1
Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 5,645ish
Summary: A miscommunication happens between you and Bucky, and it all comes tumbling down from there.
Warnings: minor agnst (like very minor compared to the 2nd part), miscommunication, kidnapping
Notes: There will be 2 parts to this, so keep an eye out for the 2nd part soon! Also, I tried my hardest so that this story could fit with any female reader, no matter what they look like! So I hope y’all enjoy.
You giggled as Bucky pulled you by the hand through the New York City streets. They were bright and bustling, seemingly more than usual. But it had been awhile since the two of you were able to go on a date night outside of the upstate compound. The two of you barely see each other once night a week, constantly getting pulled in different directions because of missions. It was nice to have a few nights off, especially since Bucky was so willing and ready to plan a date night. It was unusual for him to venture outside of the compound for things besides missions. But he would do anything for you.
Bucky chuckled as you were dragged behind him, struggling to keep up. He knew that he could just carry you or walk the same speed as you, but you two and reservations to make at a fancy restaurant Tony had suggested and then tickets to a Broadway show that you hadn’t stopped bugging Bucky about for months. He hadn’t listened to a single song besides you singing it, but he was pretty sure he knew every word from just listening to you.
“Bucky!” You squealed, after almost running into another couple. “Slow down!”
“Can’t, sweetheart,” Bucky replied, barely glancing back. “Don’t want to miss our reservations.”
“I know but you might lose me along the way.”
He turned slightly, giving you a smirk with a twinkle in his dashing blue eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
You giggled a few more times on the way to the restaurant, where you were then seated in probably the finest private room you’d ever been in. You questioned how Bucky could afford it and he laughed it off, slyly showing you Tony’s credit card he had stolen. You reprimanded him with a smile and he only shrugged, slipping the card away again.
The dinner was lovely. Elegant, small, expensive portions that made Bucky vow to get snacks at the show and a treat afterwards. You knew it was more for him than you, but you happily agreed. Any chance to spend more time with him.
The Broadway show was better than you had ever imagined it would be. You were grinning from ear to ear, quietly mouthing along with the songs. Bucky could hardly keep his eyes on the stage, he was too busy watching you. The way your eyes lit up when your favorite character entered the scene or when each first note of a song was played. The way your brows furrowed as emotions rose or when you would excitedly grab onto him and whisper, “This is my favorite part!” With each time you told Bucky that, he would chuckle and press a kiss to your forehead. He would stay in this moment with you forever if he could. The outfit you were wearing was perfect on you, not to mention your eyes and smile. You lit of the whole room, so incredibly bright.
You left the show clinging onto Bucky’s metal hand as you leaned into him and rambled on about every one of your favorite moment’s from the show. Which happened to be most of them. Bucky smiled as you continued to talk all the way to the ice cream joint he had Googled durning intermission. You wouldn’t even stop praising the show at the ice cream parlor, forcing Bucky to order for you. He handed your ice cream over to you as he lead you back out to the street, heading back towards the car he had borrowed from Tony, with his actual knowledge of it.
Bucky held the car door open for you and you slipped in, sighing as you got comfortable. He quickly went around and got in the driver’s seat. He started the car and you were soon heading out of the city.
“That was perfect, Bucky,” you told him softly. “Thank you.”
“Anything for my girl,” he looked over at you with a smile. He placed his hand on your thigh, rubbing it with his thumb. You failed to hold back a large yawn that decided to burst through you, causing Bucky to chuckle. “You tired, sweetheart?”
“Hmm,” you nodded, looking at him through lovingly, tired eyes.
His thumb rubbed more gently along the place were it was resting. “Then go to sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get home.”
You nodded again, getting more comfortable in the chair. Your eyes closed and one of your hands found its way on top of Bucky needing the close contact. Bucky had a soft smile on his face the whole way home.
Upon parking the car, Bucky quietly got out of it and went around to the side you were sleeping on. He had to carefully open the door to insure that you wouldn’t fall out onto the garage floor before slipping his arms under you and picking you up. The movement woke you slightly, allowing you to put your arms around his neck and snuggle your head into his shoulder.
“I can walk,” you barely whispered.
“Ssshh, honey,” he cooed. “Go back to sleep. I’ve got you.”
You hummed as you leaned into him more. Ever since you had met Bucky, he felt like home to you. He was the first person you’d seek out for comfort and vice-a-versa. The two of you had been seeing each other, officially, for 6 months, yet never of you had the courage to say those 3 very important words yet. You knew you felt them, strongly, but you just hadn’t said them yet. Too scared.
Bucky carried you all the way back to your room and slowly laid your on the bed. he chuckled as you sleepily fought to stay in his arms, flailing about like a newborn.
“Calm down, darling, I’ll be right back,” he promised. “I just need to grab your pjs.”
You gave in with a tired huff, your eyes still completely closed. Bucky smiled softly as he hurried to go get your pjs. He found his shirt that you often wore to bed and a pair of shorts and brought them over.
“Here,” he offered, helping you sit up. “Get changed and I’m going to grab you some water for your bedside table tonight.”
“Thanks,” you muttered.
Your eyes were barely open as you took the clothes from him. Bucky left to go grab a cold water bottle from the fridge, knowing you liked to have water nice to your bed just in case. You got changed as quickly as you could before laying on top of your bed. Bucky lightly laughed when he came back in.
“You need to get all tucked in, sweetheart,” Bucky teased as he set the water bottle down.
“You do it,” you mumbled.
With his metal arm, he held you up and his other arm, he pulled your blankets and sheets down. He set you in the bed and pulled everything up to your chin. He leaned down and pressed a sort kiss to your lips before holding one to your forehead. You looked up at him with half closed eyes, like he was the sun, moon, and stars. And it was, to you.
“Bucky…” you whispered. “I love you.”
Bucky quietly inhaled, sharply. He had felt that he loved you for a long time, but was too scared to say anything. He didn’t want to rush you and was constantly worried that you’d wake up one day knowing how much better you could do and would leave him. He’d rather take his chance not saying anything just to spend every possible moment he could with you. You saying it first caught him completely off guard, he couldn’t even get his thoughts straight.
He pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered before exiting your room.
You were wide awake after that. He didn’t say he loved you back. Did that mean that he didn’t? Or that he didn’t hear you? But he had to have heard you, super serum hearing and all that, right? He literally said goodnight and walked out. What the hell did it mean?
Bucky’s mistake kept you both up all night. You laid in bed wondering what you had done wrong to make him not tell you he loved you back. All the while, Buck had changed and was taking his hatred for himself out on several punching bags. He knew that he should have said it back, he loved you more than he ever thought possible. He knew that. But then why didn’t he tell you that?
The next morning, you weren’t to be seen at breakfast. Which was extremely unusual. Everyone questioned Bucky as to where you were with him simply answering that he hadn’t seen you since last night. He went to your bedroom, gently knocking and calling for you.
“Y/N? You awake, sweetheart?” He asked. No response. He couldn’t even hear you moving on the other side of the door. “Are you feeling alright? Can come in?” He sighed when he was met with silence once again. “FRIDAY? Where’s Y/N?”
“Agent L/N has locked herself up in one of the private training rooms since earlier this morning,” FRIDAY informed. “She has requested not to be disturbed.”
“Really? That’s unlike her. Is she okay?”
“Unfortunately, I do not have that answer fo you Sargent Barnes. Perhaps Mr. Stark does. The two often talk about things like that.”
“Right.” Bucky nodded. “Thanks.”
“Anything I can do to help.”
Bucky was going to allow you your space fo a little while. You never locked yourself away in a private training room unless something was really getting to you. You must have had a rough dream and didn’t want to talk to Bucky about it yet, it had happened a few times. But perhaps Tony did know what was going on. He was often out and about at weird hours of the night, talking to those that he ran into. Besides, with Tony’s lack of children and your lack of supportive parents, the two of you had formed a familial, father-daughter bond.
Bucky trekked up stairs to the lab, almost relieved to see that Tony was in there and alone. He knocked on the glass door before entering, almost being blasted away by the heavy metal music that was blaring through the speakers. FRIDAY immediately muted the music as Bucky walked further in.
“What happened to my music, FRI?” Tony asked hunched over his work bench.
“I’m sorry, Boss,” the AI apologized. “But Sargent Barnes had entered the lab.”
“Has he?” Tony wiped his hands off along his jeans as he turned his chair to face Bucky. “And what may I do for you today, Barnes?”
“Have you seen Y/N?” Bucky wondered.
“Not since before you two left on your date last night. Why?”
“She’s locked herself up in one of the private training rooms and I don’t know why. I was hoping you would.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t. I’m sure it’s nothing too major or she would have talked to one of us about it.”
“Yeah,” Bucky sighed. “Your right.”
“I’ll let you know if I hear anything and I’ll try to get her out if you can’t or if she doesn’t come out at a decent time.”
“Thank you, Stark.”
“Anything for Y/N.”
The treadmill did nothing for your racing mind. Neither did the weights, yoga routine, punching bag, and other workouts you had cycled through in your hours of being in one of the private training rooms. You had the music blaring and FRIDAY sound proof the walls, with the AI also blocking any messages or calls to you. You needed time for yourself, to think it all over. You hoped you were other thinking it, but the more panicky part of your brain was winning the war that raged inside.
Now, it was late into the afternoon, and you were lying on a yoga mat on the floor. Your knees were propped up, with one arm being used as a head rest and the other resting on top of your stomach. Your breaths were still coming out in slight pants, though you figured it wouldn’t change very quickly since you had pushed yourself to the limit. Sweat layered your skin and forced what little clothes you had on you to stick to you.
You know you couldn’t avoid going out of the room forever. But you just needed to figure out if you were going to talk to Bucky about everything and how, or if you were going to ignore it. And maybe everything else.
“Agent L/N,” FRIDAY called over the speakers, “Mr. Stark is standing outside the door, demanding to be let in.”
You groaned, moving your hands to cover your eyes. “I thought I told you not to let anyone disturb me?”
“Doesn’t count me, kid,” Tony’s voice filled the room. “I designed the compound and the AI. I will get in whether you willingly let me or not.”
“Fine,” you sighed. “You can come in.”
You heard the door unlock as you push yourself up onto your feet. Tony came waltzing in, studying both you and the room. He shook his head and tsked as he closed the door.
“Have you even eaten today?” He asked, giving you the clearly disappointed parent look.
“A few protein bars,” you shrugged.
“Wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”
“Really? You’re not going to tell me what’s got Barnes moping around like a hurt puppy?”
“And why he found me better early this morning to ask if you had talked to me? And why you haven’t been outside this room all day and haven’t let anyone in until now?”
“I’m not ready to talk, okay?”
Tony puckered his lips, studying you once again. He stopped once his eyes met yours. “You need to tell me if he hurt you. Verbally or physically. Cause—“
“—I can have his pardon thrown out the window and him in jail within the next hour. You just say the word.” He stepped forward and placed his hands on your arms, running them up and down. “No one hurts my kid.”
“He didn’t say anything or harm me physically.”
“Then what did he do?”
You sighed, looking down at your feet. “See… here’s the thing… it’s about what he didn’t say…” When you glanced back up and Tony, he had a brow quirked up at you. “I told him that I loved him last night and all he said back was goodnight.”
“Ooo,” Tony winced. “That is bad.”
“And I have absolutely no idea how to handle it.” You threw yourself on the ground, knees up to your chest as you rested your arms on them and pressed your palms to your eyes. “I love him… and I have no idea if he loves me…”
“Well, you could just ask. But that would be too easy right?”
“Says the many who struggled to voice his feelings to Pepper for like—well, still today and you’ve been together for years.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to rewind to last night and make sure I don’t say it.” You laid your arms across your knees and buried your head in them. “I’m a disaster.”
Tony huffed as he sat down in front of you. “Sounds like Barnes is the disaster.”
“What if I just avoid him for a few days? Or I could pretend like it never happened?”
“Whatever you want, kid. Just know that if you don’t talk to him about it, it’s only going to hurt more and get awkward.”
“I’m sure it will be fine. Everything will be fine.”
“Hey…” Bucky was clearly nervous as he appeared in your doorway.
“Hey,” you responded, looking up from the book you were reading on your bed.
“Can I come in?”
You moved your legs so that he’d be able to sit closer to you on the bed. He chose to sit on the edge, basically the farthest away he could from you. There was clearly something on his mind that was keeping him away from you. You pressed out a smile, trying to meet his eye as he was looking down in his lap. You knew that part of looking down was out of habitat, is long hair used to hide his face. But it was no longer like that since he begged you to cut his hair a couple months back.
“What’s up, Buck?” You asked gently.
You knew it sounded dumb. But after Tony got you out of the training room and you showered, you decided that you’d let Bucky take the lead on this. If he wasn’t ready to say it back yet, you’d wait. However long it takes.
“I should be asking you that,” he responded. “You’ve been locked away all day.”
“I’m fine.” He clearly didn’t believe you. “I just needed some time. It happens.”
“Are you sure?”
Bucky’s insides were at war with himself about everything, just like yours. Should he bring up what happened last night and what he knew the truth was about you hiding away? Or does he pretend like nothing happened and hope to wow you when he finally tells you his feelings?
You reached over and set your hand on top of his metal one. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
Bucky turned his metal hand over so that he could hold your hand. He sighed as you gently pushed your fingers through his. His thumb ran across the top of your hand, staring down at it.
“But are you okay, Buck?” You asked.
When he looked up at you, he saw your worried eyes and furrowed brows. He quickly nodded. “Yeah. As long as you’re okay, I’m okay.”
Though you kept telling yourself it was fine, your heart cracked a little. You longed to love him whole heartedly and for him to do so in return. You had hoped that he might just give in and say something already, if he even felt the same, but it was apparently too much to ask for.
Things slowly started to change after that night. You tried your best to act like it wasn’t bothering you, the lack of his response or, you guessed, his choice of response. But it did. You began to doubt everything Bucky was doing in your relationship.
Was he kissing you cause he felt like he had to? Cause he wanted to get something out of it later? When you were walking together, did he actually want to hold your hands? How much did he actually care about you? Were you his final stop on the relationship train, or were you simply a station on his way down the line?
Bucky had quickly noticed the shorter kisses, you tensing under his hand taking yours. The way you began to act more and more nervous, anxious, around him. When Bucky would join you in bed, he felt like you were miles away even though he could simply reach out and bring you into him if he wanted. You even began taking more missions, including solo ones. You rarely ever took solo missions because you didn’t want to be alone when something happened. You had a fear of dying alone. Yet you were now taking every mission that was up for grabs. It was worrying him, making him stay up late in the control room to make sure that your comms were still up and running and that nothing had happened.
It had been a few weeks of you acting strange and Bucky walking on eggshells around you. It was slowly killing both of you, Bucky could see that. Hell, the whole team could see that. But they either didn’t understand what was happening or what exactly they needed to do to help you and Bucky.
Steve and Tony had called the team in for a mission debrief, with this one being such a big deal that the whole team was going to be involved. You were the last one to arrive, with the only open spot was next to Bucky. You couldn’t bare to look at him as you sat down, making sure your full focus were on the men in front of everyone.
Bucky’s eyes couldn’t leave you. He longed to hold you the way you once let him. To kiss your lips, forehead, temple, like he used to. He wanted to comfort you and for you to comfort him. It felt like a million years since he had last done any of that, and he wanted it back so bad.
“Thank you for all joining us,” Steve began. “It has been brought to our attention that HYDRA has been growing at an alarming rate in an underground facility in Russia.”
“They have be taking people from their homes to test on,” Tony added. “Probably something similar to what they did with the Maximoff twins.”
“We need all hands on deck here.” Steve picked up at tablet, tapping at it a few times, causing the screens around the room to come to life with the mission plans. “Tony, Sam, and Vision will be our eyes in the air. Wanda and Hawkeye will work from the ground. Natasha and I will enter the base on the east side, going to set automatic detonators at those trigger points. Bucky and Y/N will be going in through the west side, to do the same thing. While Bruce will wait in the quinjet for if a code green is in order.”
“The important thing is to make sure that this base doesn’t make it out. This is the biggest group of HYDRA since the fall of SHIELD.”
“Does everyone understand their assignments?” A mix of verbal and physical responses happened from the team, with you not doing either. “Great. We fly out in the hour. Suit up and met in the hanger.”
It caught everyone’s eye how quick you were up and out of the conference room. Tony and Steve shared a look, with Tony nodding and following after you. Everyone else cleared the conference room while Bucky was leaning forward with his head in his hands.
“Buck,” Steve sighed, sitting down in the seat you were once in. “What’s going on with you two? Did you to… break up?”
“No. But it damn well feels like it.” Bucky ran a hand down his face as he sat up. “I don’t know— actually… I do know what I did. But I don’t know how to go about making it better.”
“What did you do?”
“She told me she loved me and I didn’t tell her that I felt the same.”
Steve winced. “When was this?”
“The night I took her to New York City.”
“Geez, Buck, that was weeks ago. No wonder she’s acting like this. You messed up.”
“It now makes since why she’s been so adamant about taking solo missions.”
“I’ve really screwed up, Steve, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“I promise to help you fix this, but we have to finish this mission first. And whatever is going on with you two can’t get in the way of it.”
“You and Barnes are clearly on the rocks,” Tony stated, appearing in your doorway. He was leaning up against it with his arms crossed.
You were standing at the edge of the bed, getting your gear strapped onto the suit you had changed into. “I really don’t need this right now, Tony,” you said, not bothering to look his way. “I need to get my head in the right space.”
“Your head won’t be in the right space until you and Barnes clear the air.”
“Well, what’s the point when he doesn’t feel the same way about me?”
“Do you actually know that?” Tony stepped into the room, heading to sit on the side of the bed. “Like, has he actually told you that?”
“No. But he’s made it pretty clear.”
He sighed as he watched you continue to add guns and knives to your suits. “Everyone can see that there’s something wrong, and that it’s clearly affecting the both of you.” You didn’t respond. “I’m just worried.”
“Well stop worrying. We’re fine.”
“Are you sure you aren’t my kid? Cause you definitely have my same level of utter bullshit lies that spew out when you’re not willing to deal with things.”
You stood up straight and looked at Tony finally, having finished strapping the weapons to your suit. “Tony, drop it. We can talk about it once the mission’s over. Any second before, I’ll drop you from the quinjet without your suit myself.”
The flight to the base was full of thick tension and awkward silence. The team tried to keep themselves from watching you and Bucky sitting on opposite sides of the jet, constantly sending nervous glances at the other. Neither of you saw the other ones glances for the whole ride. Clint landed the jet far enough away, but equally distanced between the two entrances. Once he did so, Tony called you, Bucky, Steve and Natasha over to go over the bombs that he had created, again.
“So remember, once their all placed and activated, you all have 15 minutes to get out of there before your blow to bits,” Tony warned.
“How comforting,” Natasha snarked. You suppressed a lite smile.
“Just make sure to keep talking to each other over the comms and don’t activate them until your all ready to haul your asses out of there.”
“I think we get it, Tony,” you broke your long silence. “This isn’t the first time any of us have been in a position like this. We’ve all successfully have done it before and I’m sure we’ll all have to do it again.” Bucky looked at you, slightly worried, while the other three shared a cautious glance.
“Alright then team,” Steve called everyone to attention, “finish your prep. We’re heading out in 5.”
You turned towards the small bombs, attaching four, one at a time, to your utility belt. Bucky sighed slightly as he moved to stand closer to you. Before every mission the two of you were partnered on, you always kissed each other and promised to come back in one piece. He was itching to do that, some sense of normalcy. But he knew it probably wasn’t going to happen.
“You ready?” He asked quietly.
“Always am,” you responded, finally turning to him.
He took a deep breath and leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Stay close, alright?”
“As long as you do.”
Tony and Steve hadn’t been exaggerating about the amount of HYDRA thugs inside that underground base. It seriously felt like they were appearing out of thin air. You and Bucky had gotten three of the bombs in place, trying to get the last one placed while also fighting off the onslaught of seemingly mindless HYDRA agents.
“Is it just me, or are they all using the same 5 annoying moves?” You commented over the comms, finishing off two of the agents at the same time.
“Definitely the same moves,” Natasha agreed. “It’s getting obnoxious.”
“How about you two stop your chatting and get to work?” Sam grumbled.
“Cap and Red, how many bombs have you placed?” Tony asked.
“We have two more,” Steve responded.
“Barnes and Y/N?”
“Just one,” Bucky grunted, knocking out another agent. He turned helping you with the last two agents of the batch. “I’ll stay here and make sure no one follows, you go place the last bomb.”
“Separating’s a bad idea, Buck,” you replied, panting slightly. “It always is.”
“Yeah, well seems like you’re pretty good at it lately.” Bucky winced as his own words left his mouth. The adrenaline was getting to him, fueling the mixture of emotions that had built up over the past few weeks.
“Really?” You pursed your lips and shook your head. “Fine. I’ll go.”
You turned and began heading towards the planned target point. It wasn’t too far, both you and Bucky could see it from wear you were fighting. You went over and placed the bomb on it.
“It’s not like you actually care about what happens to me anyway,” you muttered.
“What?” Bucky spun around, hearing what you had muttered.
You ignored that and pressed on your comms in your ear. “Our final bomb is in place. We’ll start heading out.”
“Same here,” Steve informed, “and activated. Less than 15 minutes to get to the quinjet.”
“On it, Cap.”
“What did you say?” Bucky demanded. His voice was low, powerful and almost trembling at the same time.
“Nothing, Bucky. It doesn’t matter.” You brushed passed him. “We need to go.”
He spun around and snatched your wrist, stopping you from moving. “Like hell it doesn’t matter. Is that what you think? That I don’t actually care about you?”
“Well what am I supposed to think, Bucky?” You tore your wrist from his grip. “I told you how I felt and you plain as day ignored it.”
There were shouts and suddenly the two of you were surrounded by more HYDRA goons than you had been bore. Your conversation quickly halted, the two of you being forced to focus on the probably ahead. More and more men were coming and then shouting through the comms device in your ear joined in.
“Bucky! Y/N! Are you almost out?” Steve asked. “There’s 5 minutes and counting left on the timer.”
“We’re—“ You slit a guys throat with one of your knives, “—trying—“ You round-house kicked the next agent. “We kinda got ambushed.”
“Ambushed?! And you haven’t—“
You failed to see the man run up beside you. He punched the side of your face, causing you to fall to the ground and lose your comms device.
“Y/N!” Bucky shouted.
You gasped out suddenly as an agent’s knee landed on the center of your back and one of his forearms held your head down by leaning on your neck. Another agent quickly grabbed your arms, pulling them forward and binding them together, while another did the same with your legs.
“Y/N!” Bucky shouted again.
“Bucky!” You strained.
The agent pressed down on your neck harder. You struggled to get a full breath of air in. Glancing around, you saw that more and more agents were rushing in, pushing Bucky farther and farther from you. You knew that there wasn’t much time left on the timer, that the place was going to blew in almost any second. You tried to thrash out of the hold of the agents, but failed. Slowly, a white fog began to creep through the vents. You knew it had to be something else besides the explosion. You began to feel light headed and your eyes were growing heavy. Frantically trying to scan the room, you noticed that you had lost sight of Bucky. That was your last thought before everything went black.
“Y/N! Barnes! Come in!” Steve ordered through the comms.
The rest of the team was at the quinjet, anxiously looking towards where the base was located. They were all holding their breathes hoping for you two to appear soon.
“Bucky! Y/N! Do you hear me?” Steve continued. “Respond, please!”
But Bruce couldn’t finish what he was saying before the base exploded. They all covered themselves, an automatic reaction due to the sound, light, smoke, and debris.
“No,” Natasha gasped out. Her hand fell over her heart as she stared at the smoke.
Tony flew out towards the site without saying a word, with Sam and Vision not far behind. The others ran out towards it on foot, shouting for their missing friends. FRIDAY had immediately informed the SHIELD agents at the compound, calling them in to help with the clean up and search. They began to rapidly swift through the rumble, searching for their friends. They had to find them before it was too late.
It had been hours of them searching, the sky outside now very dark. But none of them wanted to give up. They had found plenty of HYDRA bodies but were coming up empty on either of yours, dead or alive. Though they all really hoped that they’d find you together and alive.
“Anything over there, Stark?” Steve wondered, sitting down on a broken slab of concrete.
“Nothing yet,” Tony replied, his voice full of weight.
“They have to be here. This is where they were sent. I don’t get it.”
“They could be buried further down in the debris.”
“I don’t want to think about that.” Steve shook his head. “I can’t.”
“I don’t want to either… But, Steve… we haven’t even gotten a clue… they could have been too close to the explosion.”
“Or they could have been taken,” Sam suggested, landing near the two men.
“What do you mean, Sam?” Steve questioned.
“I think his words literally meant what he meant them to be, Cap,” Clint joined. “They could have been taken. We lost all contact with them five minutes before the bombs went off. If this had been HYDRA’s plan all along, they would have had time to get the two away from the explosion.”
“FRIDAY, I want all satellite images pulled up of this area and the next 100 miles surrounding it ever taken,” Tony ordered. “I need teams double and triple checking for anything that might give us a clue.”
“A clue to what?” Bruce questioned. “They could have used anything to sneak them away, if they even did that.”
“Then we run every lead, even if it’s just minor,” Steve said. “We are going to find them. And we are going to find them alive.”
Part 2 >
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Eternal Brand - Part 2
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Steve Rogers x Female Reader, Bucky Barnes x Female Reader x Steve Rogers
Summary: Being Bucky and Steve's best girl should feel easy, if only your mind and emotions agreed.
Word Count: Over 4.9k
Warnings: Explicit sexual content, oral sex (m. receiving), dirty talk, tension, possessive behavior, slight angst, porn with feels (it’s me, c’mon), minor harassment, tattooed Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers (they’re warnings, okay?)
A/N: Welcome to the next part of my tattoo AU! This is follow up to Eternal Brand. Sorry to keep you lovelies waiting. Beta read by the wonderful @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Thank you, lovely! Banner created by yours truly, but Bucky and Steve photos were provided by the talented @nix-akimbo ! This AU wouldn’t exist without them. Divider by the beautiful @firefly-graphics and banners by the lovely @its-just-may .
Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Please comment and reblog if you’re inclined! 18+ please!!!
If someone asked you to describe yourself, anxious wouldn't have been a word you used. But your mind and heart were at war again as your heart pounded. Even as you felt Steve touch your cheek and heard Bucky say your name in your ear, you couldn't find your voice. Because you let those words slip out.
"I love you."
"Please, say something," Bucky begged when another minute went by. You couldn't see his face, but you heard the tremble in his voice.
"I…" you croaked, closing your eyes. As tempting as it was to bury your face in Steve's neck or shoulder, you didn't want to hide.
"It's okay if… if you didn't..." Steve trailed off, not removing his hand from your cheek.
"If you didn't mean it," Bucky finished for him.
"Give me a minute? Please?" you finally asked, not wanting to worry them anymore. It sounded ridiculous since you were trapped between them, but you needed to gather yourself. Not only was the sex you just had intense, but the conversation you had before was still in the back of your mind.
Which was also why you had to be honest. They were vulnerable with you when they didn't have to be. After what Steve experienced with Peggy and Bucky's insecurity in the back of his mind, you had to show them that things were different… you were different.
And as Steve said, opening yourself up was one of the scariest things imaginable.
"Is it okay if we move you? I'd like to look at you," Bucky said.
"Yeah. Of course," you replied. You wanted to see them, too.
You whined as you felt them slowly pull out, as if their bodies had anchored you until this moment. They gently shifted you, so you could see both of their faces, each keeping your hand in theirs as you took a steadying breath. You opened your eyes and lifted your gaze, your heart racing all over again.
Their hair was messy, their bodies glistening with light sweat. Their expressions gave nothing away, but their eyes were… hopeful. Bucky and Steve were beautiful like this. And they were yours.
"I was yours before you even knew it."
"I said… I love you. Both of you."
The invisible fist that clutched your heart began to release bit by bit. It wasn't how you pictured revealing your feelings, but it was time to let the fear go and come to terms with them. You loved them and you felt… better by saying so. And if they didn't say it back, it wouldn't be the end of your world. You wouldn't allow it to be. Because feelings on your part didn't require an obligation on theirs.
It took you a moment to see that Bucky's eyes were wide at your admittance. Steve opened his mouth and quickly closed it. The silence was almost enough to tear you apart, but it was oddly comforting as it sunk in. You loved them.
"You… love us?" Bucky asked faintly.
"Really love us?" Steve added.
A groan nearly bubbled in your throat. Your beautiful menaces. "Really really. I love you, Bucky. I love you, Steve. And you don't-"
You shrieked as your back hit the mattress, Bucky's lips meeting yours urgently as his body stretched over yours. You felt his laughter as his tongue parted your lips, pressing close as he deepened the kiss. His hands framed your face, reassuring and firm, as you swallowed down the happy sound.
"I love you," he breathed against your lips when he pulled away, his smile lighting up his entire face. You took a mental picture as you realized that he said the words back. He loved you, too.
"Gonna let me in, Buck?" Steve chuckled.
"Sorry. Couldn't help myself," he answered almost sheepishly as he helped you sit up. It only took a second for Steve's arms to wrap around you, squeezing you in a tight hug. While his friend had smiled and laughed, the shuddering breath told you he was trying to hold it together.
"I love you," he whispered in your ear with the softest nuzzle.
You smiled when you felt Bucky at your back, letting out your own happy laugh. You were back to where you were a minute ago, bracketed between the two of them. You felt like you could breathe again. And you wondered why you were so afraid before. "So… we all love each other."
"Thought that it was obvious we loved you. We didn't want to scare you off," Bucky smiled against the back of your neck. "I didn't imagine we'd fuck the words out of you."
"Bucky!" you laughed more, feeling Steve's chest rumble with laughter, too.
"Such a way with words," he joked, tilting his chin so he could gaze at you. "We would have loved you still even if you said it in the heat of the moment. But… fuck, if it doesn’t feel good to hear you say it.”
Hearing that made your smile widen. For dirty men, their intentions were still pure. "I would have meant it even if neither of you said it back," you swore.
“I’m glad we’re not dancing around it anymore,” Bucky said as his metal fingers brushed along your arm. You were glad, too. It felt like the weight on your mind had been lifted. "Wish we didn't have to go in today."
You almost forgot they had to go into the shop. "You can't bail on your clients."
"I know," the brunette groaned, still tracing patterns on your arm. "I just wish we didn't have to go in after this."
“My feelings aren’t going to disappear just because you have to work,” you teased, tilting your head back to kiss Bucky’s pouting lips. You wished you could stay wrapped up in the moment too, but reality was calling. “Could one of you please get me my phone? My legs still feel like jelly.”
“I’ll get it,” Steve offered, giving you a gentle kiss before he got up. You got a very generous view as he walked out of the room.
“I’m proud of you two,” Bucky said as you leaned back against him.
“Why is that?” you asked curiously.
“For being willing to take the risk. You for saying the words… him for trying again.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You took a risk, too, by opening yourself up to the idea of us,” you reminded him. He had an equal part in everything.
“You’re the one who gave us a chance to try.”
“Don’t deflect my compliment by giving me a compliment,” you teased.
“You deflected first,” he smiled as Steve came back, handing you your phone and setting some water on the nightstand.
“You’ll be okay while we get ready?” Steve questioned as Bucky reluctantly pulled away to help you lay back.
“I’ll be fine. I’m going to lay here and recover from you two ruining me. Again.”
“Ruined is a good look on you,” Bucky smirked, tucking the sheet around you and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“He’s right, you know,” Steve grinned, bending down to give you a kiss, too.
You shook your head as they both stood there in their naked glory. You were tempted to drag both of them back into bed with you. “Fucking tattooed bastards.”
“You love us,” Bucky winked as he headed to his bathroom, Steve leaving the room to head to his. “You can’t take it back!”
“Not taking it back!” you smiled before you looked at your phone. You snorted when you saw a text from Mandy. “Lunch today? Or will your boys be feeding you?”
You smirked as you typed a message back. “Why? Gonna bring me a taco or are you saving that for Nat?”
“Five, four, three, two, one,” you muttered after you sent the text, smiling when your phone rang. “Sorry. Was that not funny?” you asked as you answered.
“Hardy har har, you hoe,” Mandy teased before she cleared her throat. “Hold on. Can I still call you that?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn't you be able to? It doesn’t bother me,” you said honestly.
“But those fuckers-”
“-aren’t you. So it’s okay,” you promised. Your best friend jokingly calling you that was one thing. A couple of pervy assholes in a grocery store was a completely different story.
“I’m stabbing them the next time I see them. Better yet, I’ll cut their dicks off… if I can find them. Bet they have little dicks. Micro pricks.”
You snorted again as you sat up a bit. “Get in line. I already had to stop the boys from committing murder.”
“I can help them,” she joked. “I just don’t want anyone bothering you, okay? Between them and the Peggy drama and your relationship, it’s a lot,” she told you. Before you could respond, she quickly added, “And I’m not belittling your mental or emotional state. It would be a lot for anyone.”
You couldn’t argue with her there. And all things considered, you thought you handled everything well… enough. “I have wondered though… if anyone else thinks I'm a slut."
“Fuck any fucker who does,” Mandy snapped, making the corner of your lip twitch in a semi-smile. “Anyone who doesn’t understand or support it doesn’t get to judge. They sure as hell don't deserve your time or energy. That's what you told me years ago, remember?"
You smiled a bit more. Mandy was always brave and upfront, but she had worried a long time ago when she came out to her mom and dad. "Because it was true."
"And it still is. We have your back.”
“Not everyone is as accepting as the gang,” you pointed out. “Peggy seemed shocked,” you said quietly. You had nothing to worry about with her. You knew that.
“Fuck her most of all. My best friend is finally happy. I’m not letting an ex, micro pricks or any other judgmental asshole ruin that. Seriously, I'll punch her in the tit if I see her."
"Have you always had violent tendencies?" you asked affectionately. “Nat said I should let myself be happy, so I am,” you said, hearing the exasperated sigh on the other end.
“I say that all the time! You listen to her over me? I’m wounded. Crushed!”
You burst out laughing. “I’m listening to both of you.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for that, we are getting tacos today."
“You say that like it's a bad thing,” you smiled, checking to make sure the boys weren’t nearby. “But while I have you on the phone, I was thinking of getting something in honor of the boys.”
“Like what? Medals for ruining your holes?"
"Bucky practically got on his knees begging for a crack at your crack.”
You giggled at the memory. "You really missed your calling as a comedian," you muttered. "Back to what I was saying… I want them to each give me a tattoo."
"Wait. You want them to ink you?"
"Why did you make that sound so dirty?"
"I'm sorry. That's actually a cool idea. But take care of it. Nat almost ripped me a new one for getting mine wet when we were at Thor's place," she swore. You could tell she meant it. "Not that I need to remind you, but tattoos are permanent. You sure you want them to do that?"
You turned your arm over, gazing at your bare wrist. It was easy to picture the gentle care they would each give you as they put a reminder of them on your skin. And after admitting how you felt, why hold back? "I know they're permanent… That's exactly why I want them."
"And to think you were scared of how fast things were moving."
"Fear can keep you safe… but so can love."
"Yeah, yeah. Fear can… wait. Love?! What happened?!"
"Something very good."
"So, you really said 'love' after they were done banging you?" Mandy asked. "This is one of the many reasons we are friends. I don't think you realize how entertaining you are."
You groaned as Mandy drove to your place. She insisted on picking you up, even though you were perfectly capable of getting there yourself. The boys had even offered to drop you off before, but Mandy insisted that she needed girl time. Which meant she wanted every sordid detail. "In my defense, my brain was a bit broken."
"Maybe because Bucky Barnes literally tapped that ass while Steve Rogers took care of your kitty. You should be screaming that you love them."
"That's not how I wanted to tell them!" you laughed. "And it's still so soon!"
"Who cares?! That's life! It's messy and imperfect. What matters is that you told them. If anything, that made the moment more real."
Your friend had a point. The perfect moment didn't have to be planned. "What about you and Nat?"
"Oh, no. No, no, no. We're great, don't get me wrong. Better than great," she swore, keeping her eyes on the road. "But that word, we're taking it very slow. She doesn't open up to lots of people easily. And… I don't want to scare her off."
You turned your head toward her at that. "Why would you scare her off?"
Mandy glanced at you quickly. "Not everyone likes sticking around with someone as mouthy as I am."
"Hey, you're amazing. She's lucky to have you," you assured her. You weren't about to let her put herself down. "I think that's one of the reasons she likes you… because you aren't afraid to speak your mind. Even if you don't have a filter, it's never to hurt someone unless they deserve it. She knows that."
Mandy smiled as she turned into your street. "We're really going crazy for them, aren't we?"
"Yes. Those fucking tattooed bastards," you teased, both of you laughing as she stopped the car in front of your place.
"Do you need me to help you out? Can you walk?"
"I am a little sore," you admitted as you both got out of the car, stretching before you started walking up the sidewalk. "But it's a good sore."
"I take it back. You should get a medal for taking two dicks. I can't even take one."
You almost fell back as you trailed off. Mandy said something to you, but you couldn't hear her over the pounding in your head. You blinked to see if it would go away, but it was still there on your front door… One word. Painted in crude, red letters.
You stood perfectly still, unable to curl in on yourself as you continued to stare. Anger coursed through your veins as seconds continued to pass by. Why couldn't people leave you alone? Why couldn't they let you be happy?!
Unable to look at it anymore, you turned away. Tears fell before you could stop them, furiously wiping them away. It wasn't worth crying over.
"Fucking pricks!" Mandy snapped, moving in front of you as she gripped your shoulders. "Hey, it's okay. I mean, it's not okay. But look at me. Hey! You are not a slut."
"But… W-Why would they..."
"Because they're pricks. And only two pricks in this town would do something like that and I promise they won't get away with it."
You tried to catch your breath, blinking away the next set of tears. You had to keep your head clear. If the boys saw this-
"Oh! There you are!"
Mandy spun around at the sound of Mrs. Monroe’s voice. She had a sad smile on her face as she walked over to join you. She was one of your nicest neighbors. You lost count of how many times Bucky and Steve had helped her put her groceries in her car.
“Mrs. Monroe. I…” you swallowed, wishing you could shield your door.
“I took the liberty of calling the police. They should be on their way. Now, I didn’t see who did it, so I’m not sure how much help I’ll be. I do, however, take vandalism very seriously. And I assume you have home insurance, but I’ve also asked my granddaughter to stop by the hardware store to get some paint.”
You were stunned for a moment. Her kindness shouldn’t have surprised you, but after seeing that crude word your foundation was a little shaken. “Thank you.”
“It’s what neighbors do," she said, reaching for your hand. "Words can hurt, but you do your best to pay them no mind. I know two gentlemen who would be heartbroken to see those tears."
You thought about what Bucky said when you smiled at him so long ago. He breathed out the pain. You could do the same today. "I mean… Wasn't even a creative insult," you joked a little.
Mandy winked at you when she knew you were okay for now. “Anything we can do to repay you for being a good neighbor?”
A small twinkle appeared in Mrs. Monroe’s eye. “Only if you wish, but… maybe put in a good word for my granddaughter with Thor?”
You had to laugh despite the situation. “It’s what neighbors do.”
“She’s resting, Steve. Keep your voice down.”
“No. You tell me why I’m here right now and not beating the ever-loving shit out of those assholes!”
You tilted your head as you laid on the sofa. Steve was trying to keep his voice quiet, but his voice carried from the kitchen. His anger hadn’t faded since you told him and Bucky what happened. You waited until after they were done at the shop for the day. Neither of them appreciated that you waited so long to tell them, but you knew they would have bailed on work if you had.
And as Mrs. Monroe predicted there wasn't much the cops could do. They spoke with you and a couple of your neighbors, but no one saw anything. At this point, it would be your word against Grant and Billy's if you accused them since you had no evidence. The officers did ask to let them know immediately if you found something or if someone continued to bother you.
“You think I’m not pissed? You think I’m not close to snapping their fucking necks?” Bucky asked.
“You ran over my phone when you thought I hurt her. Why aren’t you doing something now?”
You rubbed the back of your neck as you sat up. Everyone was furious on your behalf, but you didn't know how to react after it sunk in. You didn't scream or cry again once you got the initial tears out. Part of you just wanted to be left alone. The other part, the stronger side of you, wanted to show that you had nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.
But every single part of you did not want your boys fighting because of it.
“Because we have to be smart about this. This isn’t some alley fight where the other guy won’t do anything after he runs off. We go and beat the shit out of them now, we’ll be thrown in jail and I’m not risking leaving her alone. Is that what you want?”
You heard pacing as you got to your feet and walked toward the kitchen. “Of course, I don’t. But I’m not going to let someone bully our best girl,'' Steve said, his voice quieter than before.
"No, we're fucking not. We’ll take care of it," Bucky promised.
“I told you both… don’t do anything that will get you thrown in jail,” you reminded them from the doorway.
The light from the ceiling caught the fire in both of their eyes. “I’m sorry. I just hate that this happened,” Steve said, leaning against the counter.
“Please, don't apologize. If someone vandalized anything of yours, I’d be pissed, too,” you said honestly, walking over to hug him. You breathed in his scent before you went to hug Bucky.
“Still wish you would’ve told us sooner, doll,” he said in a low voice.
“We could’ve been there to help,” Steve said from behind you.
“Mandy helped me fix my door.”
“That’s not what we’re talking about. We would’ve just been there for you. Why didn’t you let us?”
It took a moment for you to realize that it wasn’t just anger that they felt. They were hurt, too. After what you shared this morning, did they think you would shut them out? “Because you would’ve dropped everything to be there when there was nothing that could be done. I know I’m important to you, but so is your business. Your clients.”
“And if the roles were reversed?” Steve asked, kissing your shoulder. “If someone did something to hurt us?”
The thought made you grind your teeth. “That’s not fair.”
“No, it isn’t,” Bucky said, gently gripping your chin. “We get why you waited, but please… don’t keep that stuff from us, doll. You don't have to go through these things by yourself."
A smile formed before you could stop yourself. Your menaces, ready to fight for you and show that you weren't alone. You didn’t deserve them. “I’m sorry. Can I make it up to you?” you offered.
“What did you have in mind?” Bucky asked before you kissed him.
It was gentle at first before you slid your tongue into his mouth, relishing in the groan he let out. Not wanting Steve to feel left out, you turned to give him the same sweet kiss.
“You’re distracting us,” Steve said as you slowly sank to your knees.
“Maybe I am,” you admitted easily, palming both of them through their jeans. “Maybe I know you’re itching for a fight and I’d rather you take that out on me.”
“Fuck, don’t tease us,” Bucky moaned as you worked them through their pants.
“Is it teasing if I say I want to choke on you both?”
The moans they let out in response were obscene, sending a rush of heat between your thighs. You smiled up at them, your mouth watering as you felt them straining to be free. As much fun as it would be to torment and tease them, you wanted to feel the bliss of both of them fucking your throat.
Bucky put his metal hand against your cheek before his thumb pushed against your lips, parting them so he could slip it inside. Your mouth closed around it immediately, your tongue sliding along the length of it. “You want our cocks, doll?” he whispered, making you squirm as you moaned around his thumb.
“Should we make her beg?” Steve smirked, his eyes hungry as he began to push his pants and underwear down. Hunger raged in his eyes as wrapped his hand around his cock. He stroked it lightly as you kept sucking on Bucky’s thumb, the action making you wetter by the second.
“Maybe we should since she waited so long to tell us what happened,” Bucky smirked back, using his free hand to reach into his pants and grip himself.
Of course, your boyfriends would somehow flip this on you. “Please…” you begged sweetly as Bucky’s thumb slipped free. “Please, let me suck your cocks...” You leaned in when Bucky freed himself, letting the tip brush along your cheek. It was as if his precum branded your skin. “Let me make it up to you…Let me love you."
Bucky shuddered and wondered if it was your touch or your words. “Steve first. He really does need to take the edge off.”
“Open up, sweetheart,” Steve ordered, bringing a hand to the back of your head and guiding you to him.
You let your mouth fall open so he could push his cock in, taking him in with a moan. You took it slowly as you swallowed his cock down to the base, peering up at him from your lashes. Your lips stretched wide as your throat worked around him practically had you dripping. The sigh in pleasure as his head tipped back made you wish his cock was in your cunt instead.
“Let me,” you heard Bucky say. You weren’t sure what he meant until Steve’s hand fell away, feeling the metal hand replace it. Your nose brushed against the curls at the base before your head was pulled back. “Tap my thigh twice if it’s too much, doll.”
It was almost easy to relax as Bucky pushed your head down on Steve’s cock, breathing through your nose as he controlled the motions. They were rough, but still tender. You never imagined you would have one boyfriend help your other boyfriend fuck your face. It nearly made your mind shatter.
“Sweetheart, you make this look like a breeze,” Steve moaned, making you hum in response. In a way, it was. You paid attention to the sounds they made and the way their bodies twitched and tensed when you did something well. They were yours and pleasing them was something you were proud of. “But I can’t be selfish. Buck, give her a taste.”
You took a moment to breathe when Bucky pulled you off of Steve. It only lasted a second before the familiar feel of Bucky’s cock slid home. It felt almost as hot and heavy as Steve’s, thick and pulsing against your tongue. And in sync like they always seemed to be, the blonde’s hand replaced the metal one… returning the favor and helping his best friend drive deep into your throat.
“You really do make it look easy, doll. Made to take our cocks, aren’t you?” the brunette said fondly as he thrust. “Made to love us.”
Your eyes burned as you hummed again, swirling your tongue around his shaft. You were made to love them. And you wanted them to feel just as affected by you. You wanted them flushed, panting and begging to paint your throat and face.
You wanted their love all over you.
“Think you could fit both of our cocks inside? Hmm?” Bucky asked, your eyes going wide as you nearly choked. It was impressive that you took one in your mouth.
“Think I want both of our cocks in that sweet cunt first,” Steve said, making you whine as he helped keep a steady pace. “Oh, you like the sound of that?”
You loved the sound of that. You almost forgot about the task at hand from the image that formed in your mind. God, would you ever be able to walk again if you took them at the same time?
“Fuck yeah, she does,” Bucky growled as you hollowed out your cheeks. “So do I… Fuck, wish I could see how pretty your pussy would look wrapped around us.”
You whimpered and felt dizzy momentarily when Bucky gave you a chance to breathe, your lungs burning. “Still with us?”
“I said… I want to choke on you,” you said, your voice scratchy, but determined.
You managed to keep up when you felt a cock shoved in your mouth again, wrapping your fist around the other. The feel of them taking turns on your tongue felt filthy and exciting. You licked and stroked them like you were greedy and starving, bobbing your head and lapping at them eagerly.
“Such a good girl for us. Fuck, keep doing that.”
“So fucking beautiful. Love you so much.”
You doubled your efforts on Steve, sucking hard even as your lungs burned for air. A groan fell from his mouth as his hips began to stutter. “Fuck… Fuck. I’m gonna…”
Instead of swallowing him down, you pulled back as he came. Your eyes closed as you felt him spill across your lips and chin, moaning as you felt one last splash hit your tongue. You opened your eyes after a moment, seeing the visible shudder as he looked down at you.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he breathed out, running his thumb across the mess on your chin. “You should see yourself. Buck?”
“Look at me, doll,” he said gruffly as Steve helped you turn your face. He stroked himself quickly as you looked up at him and let your jaw fall open again. “Oh, fuck… fuck!”
Bucky came all over your pliant face, streaking across your cheeks and mouth. You swallowed the bit that landed on your tongue, mixing with Steve’s taste. Your eyes slipped shut again in pleasure as you relaxed, the sounds of the three of you panting filling the room. You felt owned, dirty, and loved.
You whimpered when you heard movement, opening your eyes to watch them tuck themselves away. You took pride when you saw how wrecked they looked. Your knees felt a bit sore as you tried to stand, but Bucky quickly helped you. Lifting you up, he brought you to the counter and brought something to clean your face. “So beautiful. You good, doll?”
You smiled as he tenderly moved the wipe along your skin. “Yeah,” you croaked.
Steve grabbed you some water once Bucky was finished, bringing it to your lips. “You sure you’re good?”
“Yeah,” you said again as you took another sip. You wouldn’t lie to them.
“So… you don’t mind if we get you off now?” Bucky smirked. "Show you we love you, too?"
You smiled and nodded because, fuck, you more than earned it. And you would always welcome their distractions.
Peggy checked the address again as she headed up the walkway, holding Briana close. The home was different than the place she used to share with Steve, but so many things had changed. Including the man she once planned to marry. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the front door and smiled at the blonde in her arms.
“I think this could be a fresh start."
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Rhythm in the Rain
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Word Count: 1,218
Summary: You and Bucky spend an evening in bed during a thunderstorm.
Author’s Note: I have a couple of asks that really set the mood for this story and it works for today’s Kinktober for Eyre’s one prompt per day list @buckyownsmylife and day 21: unprotected sex. It’s pretty soft and I want it. LOL Thank you all so very much for reading and for continuing to be so lovely and supportive. Much love always! ❤❤❤ Divider by the lovely @imerdwarf
Warnings: Soft fluff, fluffer smut, fingering, oral (f rec), smut (18 + ONLY PLEASE!!!)
Gif NOT MINE: Credit goes to @august-walker ( @captain-james) Thanks so much lovely! 🥰
Kinktober Masterlist 2021
The sun begins to fade below the horizon and the deep hues of pink and orange are muted against the dark clouds that threaten to roll in. A chilly wind blows through the thin curtains and they billow out into your bedroom. You shiver and wrap your arms around yourself, snuggling into Bucky’s Henley and sighing happily when his distinct smell invades your nose.
“I’m gonna have to wash that someday doll face,” he teases lightly.
“Nope! Never. It smells so good. Just like you.”
He crawls across the sheets and grabs your waist, tugging until you fall to the bed and into his arms.
“I love when you wear it,” he murmurs, lifting the fabric to expose the skin of your stomach.
You giggle when the stubble lining his cheeks tickles your skin and you reach down to give his hair a yank.
“Bucky!” you squeal.
His squeezes his head under the Henley and inches higher, his lips grazing over your breasts before he gets stuck.
“OH MY GOD!” you playfully chide. “Your big head doesn’t fit under there!”
“One of the best places to be stuck though,” he simpers, peppering you with kisses.
“Your scruff is tickling me,” you shriek as you wiggle on the bed.
He reluctantly pulls his head out of the shirt and rests his chin on your chest.
“Better just take it off then,” he whispers, sliding the material higher and lifting it over your head.
He covers your body with his, his warm skin like a blanket against the chill. A distant rumble of thunder follows the first flash of lightning that brightens the sky and you can already hear the pitter patter of raindrops hitting the roof.
Bucky’s lips hover just above yours in a feather light touch and he focuses on you, his eyes wandering over the features of your face. All his unspoken words are swimming in the ocean blue color and your fingertips reach up to trace his jaw before you press your lips to his.
His hand slides from your waist up to your neck and his thumb brushes across your cheek, every movement deliberate as he deepens the kiss. The rain becomes heavy, the drops drumming against the house and the leaves of the trees swaying wildly in the wind.
The lights flicker twice before going out with a small pop and you smile against his lips. His nose brushes yours and he trails kisses across your jaw, ghosting his fingers down your neck while his mouth follows the same path.
Lightning brightens up the dark room and a loud crack of thunder echoes off the walls but you’re too lost in the feel of Bucky to notice. His metal fingers close around yours and he slides your joined hands above your head while his flesh hand glides down between the valley of your breasts and slips under the lace at your hips.
You purr out his name when his fingers tease you, the soft touch making your hips arch off the bed in a quiet plea for more. Your legs fall open and his metal hand squeezes yours as he keeps it pinned over your head. He slowly sinks a thick finger inside you, swallowing your moans of pleasure with a kiss. Your free hand grabs his bicep, the feel of his flexing muscles making you clench around his finger.
He pushes a second finger into you while his thumb circles your clit and your grip on his arm tightens with a rock of your hips. He breaks the kiss to look into your eyes, his dark lashes fluttering against his cheeks when he feels your walls squeeze his fingers again.
“That’s it baby doll. Let go for me,” he whispers.
You find your release within seconds and his name falls from your parted lips like a prayer. He withdraws his fingers and slides down your body, dragging your underwear off and settling between your spread legs.
Your eyes meet just before his tongue slides through you and he moans, closing his lips around your clit. You push off the headboard with one hand and use the other to tug on his hair and pull him closer. You grind down on his face and feel your second orgasm building quickly.
You gasp out his name just before the wave of pleasure washes over you and he continues to lick you, even as you whimper and your arms fall to the bed.
“I can’t get enough baby doll,” he murmurs, kissing along your inner thighs before he moves back up your body.
You’re completely pliant beneath him and you feel his hardness against your lower stomach when he settles his weight on top of you.
His fingers dance along your cheek before he kisses you softly. He nudges your legs open with his thigh and the friction against your sensitive flesh makes you gasp into his mouth. His tongues parts your lips and he applies more pressure between your legs.
“See how good you taste,” he whispers against your lips.
The rain continues to pound along the roof and lightning illuminates the gray sky. Thunder booms after every flash but all you can hear is Bucky’s whispered words and his steady breathing.
He gathers your wrists in his metal hand and gently places your arms above your head once again. He shifts and slowly pushes into you, the feel of him like warm silk. He doesn’t take his eyes from yours, sighing softly when every inch of him is inside you.
He doesn’t move at first, his lips pressed to your neck as he places kisses all along your soft skin. Only when his mouth covers yours does he rock his hips, letting his free hand rest on your thigh and spread your legs wider.
With another pump of his hips, he goes deeper, opening you up until he fills you completely. Your warm breath mingles when he lifts his gaze, keeping his lips so close to yours they brush every time he rocks into you.
“You feel so incredible baby girl,” he hums. “So perfect.”
All of his movements are languid as he explores your skin with his lips and when he releases your wrists you drag your nails down his back, desperate to touch him. You wrap your legs around his waist and his face falls to the crook of your neck.
You breathe out his name and pull him closer, needing him deeper and he lifts his head to hold your stare as you fall over the edge. Seeing you fall apart is all he needs to find his own release and you feel his warmth spread through you.
Neither of you move as your breathing settles and his hand cradles your cheek. He traces the outline of your features with his thumb, smiling softly when the lights blink back to life for a second before going out again.
The rain has stopped and the scent of damp earth drifts in through the open window and when the cloud’s part, the bright light of the moon sneaks in, casting a delicate glow across the floor.
“I love the smell after a thunderstorm,” you murmur, kissing his thumb as it passes over your lips.
“I love you,” he answers with a soft kiss.
@book-dragon-13 @dreamlessinparis @hiddles-rose @jewels2876 @loricameback @lookiamtrying @musicalmuffindog1410 @moongreydreams @nano--raptor @marvelgirl7 @randomfandompenguin @suchababie @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @saiyanprincessswanie
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Oogie Boogie's Song
— Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
— Summary: A date night filled with interesting Halloween movies was not what Bucky expected when he picked up his girlfriend from the movie theater, but surprises are one of the best parts about being with her. Things go smoothly until she claims Bucky could never scare her—and well. It's time to put his brave kitten to the test, then.
— Word count: 3.1k
— A/n: If you enjoy it, feedback is appreciated & highly encouraged and motivates me to write even more. You can consider supporting me on Ko-Fi, as well. Mistakes/errors might be here, let me know if you find any.
⋅☾ Series Masterlist ☽⋅
"Why don't you just run in there and throw her over your shoulder?"
Bucky snorts, rolling his eyes at Sam's comment.
The sad part is that Bucky can almost see Sam smiling at himself on the other side of the phone, entirely amused by his joke. "She's not taking that long."
"Aren't you jealous?" Sam is the only person who can sound so curious and so teasing at the same time. "'Cause I could swear this has been a phone call to distract you from your jealousy."
For the third time, Bucky says. "I am not jealous."
Sam laughs. "Dude, that's good. It is! I was just checking. I'm not even worried for you, I'm worried for her. Imagine if you crush one of her classmates' hands saying hello because you're jealous that your girl has boy friends and takes them out to see a movie on a Thursday night." That would be bad. "I'm looking out for Y/n here, too."
That brought a smile to Bucky's face.
A reminder that you had stolen more than just his heart always came in a good time.
"She's probably reviewing everything they did wrong," Bucky chips in, chuckling. "She's a bit of a movie critic."
Sam laughs. "I know! I've been to Ghibli Night, remember?"
Of course he does—the memories he has of Sam crying over Ghibli Studio movies are one of his most prized possessions. "You know how she gets, then." As he says it, Bucky sees the familiar frame of his girl walking out of the movie theater with two guys on each side of her, listening and nodding along as she talks and gestures wildly. Before Sam can continue the conversation, Bucky adds. "And there she is." He chuckles. "I can almost hear the thorough commentary from here. I gotta go. 'Till tomorrow, man."
He hangs up and waves so Y/n can see him standing in front of the bike, further down the street.
His movement seems to have a magnetic hold on her; as soon he waves, Y/n's face whips around and finds his in a second, smiling from ear to ear when Bucky smiles at her.
She turns around and hugs both boys, and now that Bucky isn't on the phone anymore he can hear her voice saying 'bye, Theo, bye Lozi' and the two boys answering 'bye, Turtle' and he snickers.
Finding out her classmates nicknamed her 'Turtle' because her talent was, according to them, brilliant enough to land her a spot in the Ninja Turtle artists group had rendered him speechless. Turtle.
Because that's what youngsters nowadays called one of the most famous artists in history. The Ninja Turtle group.
Bucky feels old, sometimes.
Y/n skips her way on the sidewalk, then grins wider when she stands in front of him. Bucky opens his arms and she falls into his embrace, both squeezing tight around the other.
"Hi, baby," she whispers in his ear.
"Hi." Bucky kisses her hair, which smells faintly of buttery popcorn and Snickers on top of the usual citric smell. "Was the movie good?!"
To his surprise, her reply is a deep groan that vibrates in his chest. "It sucked!"
Oh. Bucky laughs under his breath, and there it is, the explanation as to why she took nearly half an hour to leave after the movie was done.
"Bucky. Baby." Bucky pulls back from the embrace just enough to look at his love properly. "They ruined Halloween Kills."
"Wow." In his mind, there's no way someone can make movies created with the purpose of showing blood, gore and horrors good or bad movies, but he knows better than to presume he knows everything. "Tell me how."
Y/n narrows her eyes at him, biting on her bottom lip. Even now, months after starting their relationship, she stills asks before entering one of her nerdy speeches. "You sure?"
There's nothing Bucky enjoys more than listening to her rants.
One day she'll understand. Bucky likes to picture them in the future sharing breakfast in their own place, and in his scenario, Y/n walks in the kitchen with the morning paper and without even saying hello, starts a rant about the newest thing that's sparked that interest in her.
That fiery, bright spark, which drew him in and painted him as a man in love.
He smiles and nods, handing her helmet to her. "Wanna know everything. Hop on, gimme your all."
With the ease of someone who has practice, she does.
Y/n clings to Bucky and he can admit that her body heat is a much better way to make their way home than alone.
She talks about the movie, dissecting all their wrongs and very few rights, not minding his silence as he drives and only listens.
It's a testament to how close they've gotten and how comfortable she is with his enhancements that Y/n speaks calmly and in a conversational tone, knowing he's paying attention to every tiny snort and sarcastic deliver.
Answering her would require being louder than the wind so her human ears could pick up on everything, but Bucky knows she's patient enough to wait.
Plus—she's got enough in her for the entire way there.
When they're home and Bucky's told her his own two cents, Y/n nods in agreement, then sighs over her kitchen counter, looking at the spreadsheets of recipes with pleading eyes that beg them to magically turn into pies and brownies all on their own.
Taking pity on her, Bucky circles the counter to stand behind her.
"I could help," he offers, not for the first time.
As a response, she grunts. "You hate getting flour in your hand."
That was true. Cleaning his metal prosthetic was a bitch of a task, but he'd do it for her. "I'd go through the trouble for you."
That wins him a smile. He knows that because Y/n turns around in his arms and looks up at him happily, wrapping her arms around his neck. "That's very nice of you, baby."
He shrugs, pretending the compliment doesn't make him feel as giddy as it does. "Eh. I'm a nice boyfriend."
Y/n giggles, and leans in for a short peck. "You really are, James."
If he had any hopes of not allowing the heat to take over him, it's gone and buried with the way she whispers that.
He can feel the burn on his cheeks. "You do that on purpose," he accuses. Y/n likes seeing him flustered, though only the lord knows why.
The menace only wiggles her eyebrows at him, which is as much of an answer as anything else.
Together, they start baking the pies, brownies and cookies for the movie marathon Y/n decided to host for Halloween, or as she calls it, 'spooky season'. Their friends will show up with the drinks and costumes and in their small apartment living room, everyone is supposed to gather around and watch bloody, horrific things happening on TV.
He'd been invited too, clearly, but when Y/n asked whether he'd like to be a part of it, Bucky saw she had no expectations of him saying yes.
It's what made him so relaxed to say no in the first place.
What he still failed to understand was the appeal of them, so when the final batch is inside the oven, he asks. "What's the first one you guys are seeing tomorrow?"
Y/n has flour on her forehead from rubbing the back of her hand there and her cheeks are flushed to the exact degree Bucky love sit. "Uhm—I think Corpse Bride? Laís isn't the biggest fan of Burton so she'll try to sell us to watch Coraline first, but—," she shrugs her shoulders. "Tomorrow's the opening day, though, so the line-up is that: Corpse Bride, Coraline and Nightmare Before Christmas." Y/n opens him her square smile, the youthful one she has when seeing beautiful art in museums, and it tugs at the strings she has wrapped around Bucky's heart. "Animated precious gems of spooky season!"
For a moment, Bucky's too busy staring at her smile to assimilate all that she's said.
She's beautiful. Her genuine delight over beautiful things created by humans moves her, and that's the spark that kept Bucky falling deeper and deeper, with no chances of ever getting out.
Then, the names seem to register.
'Animated precious gems.'
"Wait..." Bucky drifts off, shutting the oven and tuning off from Sinatra's tune playing in the background.
He recalls the day Y/n asked him about the movie marathon.
"Will you wanna join us, baby? I know a marathon of Halloween-themed movies may not be your thing..."
"Not my favorite genre, to be honest," he had shrugged.
Not for a moment did Bucky think that the movies might be not the traditional 'horror'—the one of death, blood, demons and all things that could awaken horrible drawers of his consciousness.
Not for a moment did he remember who was he dating.
"Yeah, baby?" Y/n asks, looking at him expectantly.
Bucky stared and gaped at her for a second, frozen in his spot. He'd heard of those movies before, and of course his artistic, pie-baking and apartment-decorating baby, who was looking back at him with that precious patch of flour on her cheeks, would love those movies.
"Those aren't scary," Bucky states dumbly.
Y/n smiles, then shakes her head. "Not particularly." Then, she lifts a finger. "Coraline, though. That one lifts a few hairs at the back of the neck—but it's the mom thing, I guess? Fuck, just thinking about her weird spider eyes and legs," her body shudders, and Bucky laughs.
"I thought you were gonna watch the ones with possessions and demons and stuff," Bucky clarifies, and sees an understanding flash on Y/n's face.
Her posture softens, and when she opens her arms in a silent invitation, Bucky walks to her and slides between her legs in front of the chair, letting her arms wrap around him. "Wanna know my favorite movie?" she asks.
"Addams Family." The title is, fortunately, familiar, and Bucky thinks about what he knows of the movie, humming in approval. "I love Morticia and Gomez's relationship. They're so cute."
Not having watched the movie he is in no position to judge what he claims next, but Bucky believes it. "Hmmm. We're cuter."
It pulls laughter from her, and he holds her upper body as it shakes with her giggles. "If you say so." Y/n leans closer and nibbles on Bucky's lip, so he does the logical thing and pulls her against his body, stealing a kiss from her sweet lips.
The way she answers by relaxing, all the muscles on her body loosening, her fingers gripping on his hair and her mouth opening up just right for him—that messes with his head a little bit.
Her kisses are intoxicating. Even her masochist grin when she pulls back and looks at him in pure delight, biting on her own bottom lip and running her nails at his nape; even those are intoxicating.
He smiles at her.
Only he gets to see her like this. Bucky gets to see her hooded eyes playfully following him, all feline and sharp. He gets the kitt-ish licks she gives with the tip of her tongue on his swollen lips.
Bucky watches all the teasing feeling as sharp as the wolf they call him.
His smile is wiped with her tongue, but he gets hers back when he kisses her slowly and languidly.
They both pull back for air, and stay in each other's hold for seconds without needing a word. Then, Y/n whispers, "Wanna watch Addams Family with me?"
She sounds giddy with excitement, and it makes Bucky laugh wholeheartedly. "Of course."
"You wanna come to the marathon now, don't you?" She also asks, smiling knowingly at him.
"I didn't have all the information," Bucky answers with a tiny groan.
She still teases him all the way to the bedroom, and he pouts and frowns through it even though he's enjoying it; he'd say "secretly", but Y/n reads his emotions better than anyone. Finally having again a person who can follow his sense of humor is more than a breath of fresh air—it's like having a garden in the back of your house where you can go every morning and take deep, peaceful breaths.
Or in his case, across the hall.
Y/n hooks on Addams Family on the TV she bought for her room and lies with Bucky on the bed, all tangled and warm.
She turns around sharply, "Did you put on alarms for the pies? And the cookies?" she asks a little desperately.
Talented and perceptive, but with a shitty memory.
Bucky kisses her temple. "Yup." He turns to the tv. "Now shush," he sasses her.
The first one is incredible. Bucky absolutely adores Addams Family, and when that one is done and the pies and cookies are safely stored in Tupperwares, they start a little marathon of their own while lying under thick blankets.
Together, they go through Hocus Pocus and when that movie makes Bucky happier than most of the crap he's seen on tv lately, Y/n demands he watches Practical Magic while she showers.
When she's back, she asks if he's in the mood to get 'spookier' and he accepts the playful challenge in her eyes: she pops on Sleepy Hollow.
Despite learning a good deal about things through his friends, there was a lot Bucky hadn't given a chance yet and Tim Burton was one of them. It's with delight he discovers that some things can be tastefully done—he's... scared.
If that eerie feeling in the pit of his stomach could be described as such.
It's an itch, but it does the work: Y/n's eyes sparkle and she can barely contain her movements when she starts prodding him with questions and comparisons of the things they've seen so far.
The night is going so smoothly that Bucky almost misses the teasing that comes under her breath when she's turning all the electronics off and Bucky finishes his rant with, "—and at least it was with you. God knows what the hell I'd have heard from Sam if I got... scared. In his presence. I'd have to be a dick on Halloween of all things and scare the crap out of him just to put him in his place," Bucky chuckles, thinking about all the pranks he could pull on Sam to make him shriek like a little kid. "At least you I don't have to scare."
He's thinking about what route would be the best when pranking Sam and for that, he almost misses your tiny snort and, "As if you could."
His mind halts.
Bucky even stops creating scenarios of Sam falling into apple sauce—had you just snorted to yourself at the notion he could scare you?
You, entirely oblivious to the chaos you'd just created, continue walking around the bedroom turning things off and putting them away, but all Bucky can think about is hunting you down and making you whimper.
You are not scared of him. The knowledge throws Bucky off of a cliff, straight into the stormy high-sea. He's swimming in the notion. Drunk on it.
Bucky Barnes told you everything about himself—his bad, his good, the cursed bits and his own haunted creatures. If there was ever a Frankenstein or a poor Halloween beast, it'd be him; soldier born three times, Bucky, who was the Asset, who was the Sargeant, who was nobody.
Who is now Bucky.
Who you love.
He knew that because he'd heard it from your mouth — numerous times by now, he thinks happily — but sometimes, every now and then, he kind of sees it in the things you do and say, and it hits him all over again.
Only that this time, it brings out something else in him.
The Bucky who would make pretty girls and boys corner themselves at the back of the bar, waiting for his touch. The Bucky who is a predator for the people he craves, and who would eat every piece of you given the opportunity.
(The opportunity was given to him. So far, he's made love to you and you'd done the same to him, but eating you had been avoided. Eating you involved letting go in levels he feared thinking of because what if he forgets his strength and hurts you what if the arm grips your wrist too tight and he turns the bones into dust what if he does that to your HEAD—. Bucky would rather die.)
Knowing you're not scared of him solidifies inside of him the fear that he could do any of that. Bucky loves you way too much to risk anything bad happening to you.
And now, he wants you a little scared.
He's seen the deviant under your eyes, sometimes.
Looking back at him like you want to eat him, but stop yourself from even thinking about it.
With all the lights turned off, your devices in their place for the night and your body lotioned up just to your liking before bed — Bucky loved that tradition — you made your way back to bed.
The only illumination in the bedroom came from the Christmas lights hanging on your floor, but they were enough.
You crawled back in bed and when you lied beside Bucky, saw his expression.
You looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
"You don't think I can scare you, kitten?" Bucky asks, sliding his body closer.
Your eyes widened at his tone and there she was—his kitten. God, Bucky had been a fool so far. "Couldn't even try?" He rasps out. Under the blankets, his left hand goes to your arms and he runs the tip of his fingers over your exposed skin. "'Cause that sounds like a nice challenge. I might just try to make you jump. Hm?"
Bucky wonders how much of the words are getting through your head given how intensely your eyes are caught on his lips. "Buck..." you whisper.
"I have until the 31st to scare you. What d'you say?" Bucky challenges, pressing his body flush against yours from chest to toe.
You whimper, and you look so good blinking under your lashes like that. Trapped kitty. "You're gonna scare me?" Your voice is teasing, full of bratty rash braveness and fuck.
Bucky should spank you at the back of a church.
His metal hand ends underneath your chin, gripping it just tight enough. "I wonder if you'll scream or if you'll freeze, kitten."
Your eyes flutter closed, and the smile that opens on your lips says all that he needs to hear.
It's time for Bucky to learn how to be a mean fella once again.
Taglist pt. One ☆ @undiadeestos ; @keepingitlokiii ; @hallecarey1 ; @mardema ; @mollygetssherlockcoffee ; @fanofalltheficsx ; @justlovelifeblog ; @fallenoutofrose ; @rvgrsbrns ; @tripletstephaniescp ; @mal-edictions ; @rippl3s ; @barnesafterglow ; @vintagepigeon ; @dirtyweenerking ; @couldabeenamermaid ; @winter-soldier-sebstan ; @leyannrae ; @nerdwholikesword ; @andreead ; @ren-ni ; @pastamomma ; @fairytalebucky ; @natyvwe ; @murdermornings ;
Part Two ❥ ; @bvckysmoon ; @buttybarnes1917 ; @rebekahdawkins ; @tylard-blog1 ; @xbeauxny ; @redirection04 ; @thatblondebrownie ; @carrotfantasimp ; @teenagedreams-bucky ; @buckyxplumsss ; @sltwins ; ; @spiderdudetom ; @mrsbarnesinmyimagination ; @pineprincess ; @cpag7 ; @iambeeee ; @agni-l ; @sstan-hoe ; @hawsx3 ; @weirdowithnobeardo ; @hdbngsprnva ; @itsdawnashlie ; @sweetdreamsbuck ; @slutforsteve ; @itsmedramaqu33n ; <3
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Day 20, Sharing Reader with Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers
Pairing: Stucky x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers
Summary: Day 20, Sharing Reader with Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers
Warning: Smut, oral, threesome
A/N: MINORS DNI! Thank you to @give-me-a-moose for beta-reading! Please Like and Reblog
KINKTOBER Masterlist Masterlist Permanent Taglist
The metal hand on your hip squeezed your hip tightly, Bucky’s teeth digging into the soft skin of your neck. You smacked his shoulder as the pain pulled a moan from you.
Bucky loved to leave his mark on your skin, your body littered with bite marks, love bites, and handprints from where he had held you. He liked marking you as his own, letting everyone know that you belonged to him.
Well, him and Steve.
Steve, while just as passionate, wasn’t as… forceful with his affection. He liked swooping in to show his ownership of your body, mind and soul. He liked seeing people hitting on you, only to slide up beside you and place a small kiss on your neck to show his place at your side. Steve liked to show that he had already won.
“Let’s get this off you,” Steve said, pulling at your dress.
“Look at you, pretty baby,” Bucky groaned, his tongue wetting your bottom lip as he took in your figure clad in teasing lingerie. He leaned forward and pressed kisses along your collarbone, the fingers of his right hand running along your spine. “Such a good girl, dressed so nicely for us. Did you choose this just for us?”
You moaned as he strung your bra strap, nodding, “Yeah.”
“Are you gonna keep being a good girl for us?” He asked you, kissing your shoulder. “Gonna make us feel good?”
“Mmm,” you agreed, pulling at his shirt with desperate hands. “Please, Bucky, wanna be filled up now. No teasing.”
“No teasing,” Steve mocked, nipping at your neck.
“What?” you asked.
Steve, who stood behind you, distracted you by putting his arms around your waist. His hands fell to Bucky’s belt buckle, tugging on it harshly to get it off quickly before moving onto his button and zipper. The thought of getting Bucky distracted you easily. You pulled at Bucky’s shirt, forcing him to lift his arms so you could pull it from his body. Steve shoves at Bucky’s trousers and boxers, allowing him to step out of them and kicking them to the side.
After a quick kiss to your collarbone, Bucky turns you around to face Steve. This time, you help Steve to take off his lower layers while Bucky removes Steve’s shirt, throwing it towards the washing basket in the corner of the bedroom.
“No teasing,” you repeat, leaning forward to kiss along Steve’s chest.
“Oh honey,” Steve scoffed, pulling away from you. “Do you really think he’s gonna let you get away with what you just called him?”
“What?” you asked in confusion, tilting your head. It took a moment before you realised and quickly turned around, hand’s falling on Bucky’s chest. “I’m sorry! It was an accident! Please!”
“I was so ready to just fuck you,” Bucky sighed in disappointment, shaking his head. “But you had to ruin it.”
His metal hand roughly grabbed you by your throat. Your pulled onto your tiptoes and your hands fly to hold onto his wrist. Bucky’s tongue run over his lower lip as he watched you gasp for breath. Your toes dragged across the wooden floor as he walks further into the bedroom. Your thrown backwards onto the bed, bouncing at your landing.
Gasping for breath, you hurried to push yourself up onto your elbows. You pushed yourself further up the bed, eyes focused on Bucky who stands at the end with Steve just behind him. While Bucky’s eyes are dark with lust, Steve seems to be humming with anticipation of what the evening is to bring.
“Please, Soldat, I’m sorry,” you hurried to apologise, chest heaving. Your eyes moved to Steve’s over Bucky’s shoulder, looking for his support, or, rather, sympathy. “Please, Stevie.”
“Don’t look at him,” Bucky snapped. “Why are you looking at him? Look at me.”
“I’m sorry,” you repeated, turning your attention back to him. “I didn’t mean to, I swear. I just wanted you both so much.”
“Yeah? Well, now we get to have you,” he replied. “Don’t we, Stevie?”
“Yes, sir,” Steve confirmed, stepping closer to Bucky and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
Both of them leaning forward, each of them grabbed one of your ankles. You squealed as you were pulled to the end of the bed. Your ass positioned on the edge, your panties are roughly pulled down and discarded. While Steve leant over you to help remove your bra, Bucky fell to his knees between your spread legs.
Though some may have thought that being on your knees for your partner was a submissive action, in the case of Bucky Barnes, it was the opposite. For Bucky, it was a sign of power over his partner, whether that be you or Steve. Being on his needs but still able to completely reck you… it was the greatest show of power that Bucky knew.
Steve joined Bucky between your spread legs, his breath hitching at the sight of your dewy centre. You were lucky, not only did you have two super soldiers who worshipped you like a goddess, but you had two super soldiers who loved to eat pussy.
Actually, you may not be lucky…
Two mouths kiss their way up the inside of your thighs, bruises and little nips being placed along the skin. With two super soldiers making their way to your centre, your legs are spread wide to accommodate them.
You can hear their voices as they spoke to each other in low whispers, just quiet enough for you not to be able to understand their words. Bucky’s cool metal hand and Steve’s warm one holds your legs open as they get closer to your centre.
They’ve done this before, both shared in your taste at the same time, and they’ve seemed to have figured out the perfect angles for them. Your eyes closed, the back of your head pressing into the pillows hard as you feel their breath over your core.
Lips encircle your clit, tonguing it teasingly, making you clench the bedspread beneath your palms. A tongue licks at your entrance, a heavy moan being released as one of the boys welcomes your juices into his willing mouth.
They work in tandem, swapping positions so they can each get a satisfying taste of you. Moans are pulled from all three of you, the boys because of your flavour on their tongues, and from you because of the shrill thrill of ecstasy they are pushing you towards.
Heat built in your lower stomach from their attention, the coil tightening as you eagerly approached the point of no return. Your thighs, which sat over their shoulders, twitched as your orgasm approached. Your hips thrusted to meet their mouths, chasing the feeling that was building, desperate for that last bit that would push you over.
A harsh slap was delivered to the inside of your thigh as both mouths leave you, stopping you just as you were ready to taste that heaven. Bucky laughed, “Really?”
“Did you honestly think we’d let you cum?” Steve continued, shaking his head.
“Oh honey, naughty girls don’t get to cum,” Bucky said as they both pushed to their feet. “Well… not straight away, at least. Buckle up, doll, it’s gonna be a long night.”
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Cold Feet 》 Bucky Barnes x Reader
request: Hi I saw your Drabble challenge I was wondering is we could get number 49 with Bucky Barnes?
a/n: omg this was so freaking cute!!!!
summary: Bucky hates when you put your cold feet on him.
Drabble Prompt #49: “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”
link to prompt list
**my requests are open!**
It was a consistent, every night thing. You would find yourself curling up in the sheets, your source of body warmth somehow finding himself on the very edge of the bed. You would scoot closer to him. The heat he radiated was unlike anything else, it simply warmed you to the core. You inhaled Bucky’s scent and reached around, tangling your arms around his bare chest.
Bucky immediately stirred in his sleep, huffing a breath before he found himself turning back to face you. You grinned sleepily, never once opening your eyes. You felt as he engulfed you, his chin nuzzling into the top of your head.
Pulling your feet upwards, they rubbed against Bucky’s bare thighs, making him instantly flinch. He retracted his legs from you and you whined, pushing them against him.
“Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.” Bucky pleaded suddenly, his eyes cracking open. His blue irises found themselves pouring into yours, desperate for the contact to cease. Sticking your tongue out, you couldn’t help but push your feet back onto him which instantly woke him up.
“Doll!” He growled, grabbing your feet. He quickly spun you around in the sheets, you screaming as your head ended up at the end of the bed by his feet. Yours were nestled by his head and that’s when his eyes grew wide.
“Shit,” He cursed under his breath when you instantly planted your feet flat against his chest, the coldness causing him to hiss.
“Please!” Bucky cried out, grabbing your feet. “They’re so cold!”
“But you’re so warm, Bucky!” You cried out in laughter. Bucky smirked.
“I know how to get you to stop…” He trailed. Your face contorted in horror when his grip tightened around your foot. He began to tickle the bottoms, causing you to squeal and thrash in the sheets.
“S-Stop!” You gasped for air. “Bucky, I’m gonna piss myself!” You cried harder, laughter filling the bedroom you shared.
“Serves you right!” Bucky yelled, tickling you more until you were pleading for your life. Bucky smirked and easily spun you back around, bringing your face to his.
“No more putting your feet on me.” Bucky pointed a finger at you. You sighed, pouting.
“But you’re so warm…” You mumbled.
Bucky groaned. “Get socks. Now goodnight, doll.” He chuckled, kissing your lips tenderly as he pulled you into his chest, sleep soon overtaking the two of you yet again.
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Nothing Fucks With My Baby | Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Hozier announced that he’s coming out with new music, so I’ve been listening to nothing but his albums and this song is just…wow.
Bucky Barnes x Female reader
***TW: Mention of SA***
“Nothing fucks with my baby
Nothing can get a look in on my baby
Nothing fucks with my baby
Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.”
You felt strong arms wrap around your waist from behind and you breathed a sigh of relief. Bucky was finally back. He spun you around and kissed you hungrily, showing you just how much he’d missed you. This mission had lasted way longer than you’d hoped, and having him back felt like Christmas morning.
“Hi” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against yours. He hadn’t been one for PDA when you first got together, but now he didn’t care. You’d complained about having to go to this stupid Shield party, not wanting to spend the evening that Bucky got back with a bunch of random agents. And now, after the events that had already occurred this evening, you wished you had stayed home. “Hi” you replied, trying to steady your voice.
Your attempt was unsuccessful. He quickly pulled back and looked you in the eyes. “Hey. What’s wrong, baby?” Bucky asked, his eyes swimming in a pool of worry. You shook your head and gave a fake laugh, “Nothing, Buck. I’m just happy you’re back” you murmured. You didn’t wanna ruin the night by being honest with him. He rolled his eyes as he let out a quiet chuckle. “You’re a terrible liar. Please talk to me.” He examined your red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, waiting for you to tell him what was going on.
“It’s…that cocky new guy, Walker.” You stated. Bucky continued to stare at you, waiting for you to elaborate further. A sigh escaped your lips and you continued, “he’s drunk off his ass and he kept- he kept pulling me into his lap. Grabbing me and touching me…” You watched rage building behind Bucky’s eyes as you spoke. “I kept telling him no and asking him to stop, and then he- he reached up my dress... I slapped him and he got mad. He called me a slut, said that I slept my way to the top and only got this job because I’m with you”. You finished, your shame and embarrassment dragging your eyes down to the floor. You felt dirty. Violated.
Bucky’s hands shook with anger. He brought them up to the sides of your face, gently angling your head so you’d look into his eyes. He gave you a warm, deep kiss. “I’m so sorry” he whispered when he finally pulled away. “Are you okay? Do you wanna go home? We can leave right now” You shook your head, not wanting to cause a scene. He looked at you with sadness in his eyes, wanting to fix the problem in any way possible. His expression changed suddenly, eyes darkening and jaw clenching. His low, angry words almost scared you, “Where is he?” he asked.
“Uh, I don’t know. I think I saw him go out to the patio with some of the other guys” you whispered. “Buck…don’t”. His eyes were scanning the room, searching for John Walker’s face in the crowd of Shield employees. “I just wanna talk to him,” Bucky stated as he continued looking. You knew what he really meant when he said he wanted to “talk” to John Walker. You reached up and placed your hands on either side of his face, turning his attention back to you. “Bucky. You don’t do that anymore…” you asserted. “You said you don’t want to hurt anyone”.
His gaze fell downward and he was quiet for a moment. “Nothing fucks with my baby” he grumbled in a low, dark voice. Before you knew what was happening, he was gone. He disappeared into the crowd of Shield agents faster than you could follow. You let out a sigh and tears welled in your eyes again. You found a quiet corner void of drunk partygoers and took a seat, hoping Bucky would return soon.
Bucky had been gone for about five minutes when you saw the patio doors fly open. You heard gasps from the crowd as a drunk John Walker tumbled inside and fell to the ground. Blood was pouring from his nose and his eyes were wide with fear. He quickly scrambled to his feet and ran out of the party, startling those he pushed past.
Bucky entered a few moments later, straightening his suit jacket as he scanned the room for you. His eyes fell on you and he quickly made his way through the crowd. “Hey” he muttered. You looked up at him, happy to see that the angry storm clouds in his eyes had finally cleared. He squatted down in front of you, his hands resting on your knees. You noticed that his vibranium hand was lightly splattered with blood that belonged to John Walker. He saw you staring at it and removed his metal hand from your lap, wiping it on his pants. He looked ashamed. “Baby, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “That’s not me anymore. I just- no one’s allowed to treat you that way…I couldn’t let him get away with it”.
You were conflicted. Bucky had made it a point that he was done with violence, only engaging it such activities when absolutely necessary. But he’d just wanted to protect you. He’d broken his promise to himself and to you only because you’d been hurt. It was a little barbaric, but sweet. He had good intentions- to protect you, take care of you, and keep you safe. You brought a hand to his sharp jaw, lightly stroking his stubble with your thumb. “It’s okay, Buck…I’m not mad”. He let out a small sigh of relief and gave you a light kiss on the forehead. “I love you” he whispered. “Let’s get you home.”
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This Can't Wait
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Bucky is away for a mission, but the news you just found out can't wait any longer.
"Honey, I'm in the middle of chasing a hacker. Do you mind if I call you back in a few?" Bucky asked, tilting his head left and right to see the spot where the guy he was chasing run to.
You groan, "Bucky, I'm telling you this news of mine can't wait!" you pointed out.
Bucky is gone for a mission in Florida with Sam, Steve, Nat, and Clint. He's gonna be gone for another week, and as much as you want to tell him personally this significant news in your lives, so you could see his reaction instantly, you know you won't last long without telling him.
You knew he and the rest of the crew is in the middle of chaos but you can't wait any more time to tell him that you two are about to become parents.
Yeah, you're pregnant with Bucky's child. As if there was someone else.
It has always been Bucky.
"Okay, honey, I swear, I'm gonna call you as soon as I co--"
"Damn it, Bucky! I'm pregnant!" you yelled on the phone when you cut him off.
"You...you're what?" he stammered.
Bucky's world stopped as if everything around him stopped when he heard what you said. He wasn't sure if he heard it right, but even if it's unclear, the idea that is inside his head is enough to make his heart beat fast, to make his world slow down.
You took a deep breath before you finally repeat what you said, "Bucky, honey," you paused for a moment then, "I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a baby."
Yeah, he heard it right. His girlfriend, the love of his life is pregnant with his baby. There's gonna be living proof of his love for you, a living proof that will soon be your little one, your bundle of joy, your child.
"We're gonna have a baby?" he asked, not still sure whether he heard it right from his girlfriend, "Are you serious? Or is this another prank?" he asked you a different question this time, which made you laugh in the other line, "Oh, come on, baby, stop laughing. This is a serious matter and I've been wanting to have a baby with you, you know that. So if this is a joke or something, quit it."
You and Bucky has been in a relationship for almost four years now, and you two are already talking about moving further with your relationship and your commitment to each other, meaning having a family and getting married, whichever comes first. But it seems like having a family came first.
The first time Bucky realized that he wants to have a baby was when you and the rest of the Avengers team visited an orphanage last year. It was one of Pepper's charity works and she gladly arranged that one because she thought it would be wonderful and cute to see the Avengers hang out with kids.
And Pep was right.
All the time you were in that orphanage and hanging out with different kids and babies, you were just admiring Bucky and his magical touch and charm with kids. He's like a baby whisperer to be honest.
"Okay, okay, okay, calm down there," you said, cutting his grumpiness, "I'm really pregnant, okay? It's true!"
"Oh, my God," Bucky sighed and puts his on his forehead as he begin to realize that it's really happening. He's a dad-to-be, and what excites him more is that he's gonna have a baby with you, the woman he wants to be in his life and future.
"Honey, I think I could imagine your state right now," you chuckled nervously, "Okay, calm yourself down. Finish your mission and come back faster, okay? And give me a call after your mission," you told him.
"I will, baby," Bucky smiles, "I love you. I love you even more."
You let out another chuckle as you feel butterflies on your stomach, "I love you too. I can't wait to see you."
"Yeah, me too. I can't wait to see you both," he said, referring to you and your little baby on your tummy, "Alright, Stark's gonna kill me if I don't have my hands on this hacker. I'll call you later, baby. Love you both!" he said before he hung the phone.
Well, that was the best phone call of your life.
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You’re in love with your best friend, with the guy you worked so hard to have a friendship with only to find out he’s been dating someone.
Word count: 1,289
Warnings: Angst, language word, unrequited love, two idiots.
Your whole world revolved around one man and one man only, Bucky Barnes. There was nothing in this world you wouldn’t do for him. If he needed you then you would always drop whatever you were doing and go straight to him, no matter how big or small his problem was.
Natasha called you a ‘people pleaser’, since you found it rather difficult to say no to people and situations. You said yes to people often because you were afraid of letting them down, sometimes even putting yourself in their shoes and imagining the disappointment if the roles were reversed and it was you who needed something.
The one person you always aimed to please was Bucky. Falling in love with the sergeant was obviously never planned, these things rarely are and as cliché as it sounds; it just happened.
At first glance when Bucky first arrived at the compound under Steve’s guidance, Bucky was closed off to everyone besides Steve. The meeting between the two of you didn’t quite go to plan either as phe was dismissive of your attempts at a friendship from the get-go. There were times when he would grunt whenever you would walk into the same room, excluding you from conversations. The screams of horror that ripped through the walls of the compound was what nightmares were made from. The heavy bags under his eyes the morning after made you feel sympathetic towards him and you just wanted to help him in any way that you could. Any way that he would allow you. You never gave up on him, and Bucky must have realised that because one day, his walls crumbled and he confided in you. He told you his deepest, darkest secrets that he didn’t even tell Steve about. You were sworn to secrecy, and the two of you grew closer and closer from that day on.
The closer you grew to Bucky, the more you realised this was more than just friendship to you. This was love.
You never told him about these feelings. You feared the second he heard them, he would shut you out of his life in an instance and you’d back to square one. So you kept them to yourself, allowed yourself to lay awake at night and daydream about the kind of future you would want with him, the kind of future that would never happen. It was like a nightmare on loop, the feelings you felt for him were about to combust and you just had to confide in somebody.
That somebody was Natasha. She was the best one to ask since she had a lot of experience in the dating field.
“I just- I just don’t know, Nat. We’re best friends now and wouldn’t it be weird?” You bit your lip as your fingers played with the tassels on her cream knitted blanket she had splayed over her bed.
Nat was finishing up her makeup before she spun on her heels and turned to you with an eye roll.
Okay, so maybe she wasn’t the best person to confide in after all.
“Why would it be weird? You’re already dating with the amount of time the two of you are spending together.. and why would it be weird? You know all there is about each other. It's a solid foundation.” She takes a breath and straightens out her dress. “I’m really sorry, Y/N but I have a date and I don’t want to be late. Just talk to him, he will listen I’m sure.” She apologises again as she picks up her matching purse and sweater off the chair and makes a hasty dash out the door, leaving you to contemplate your decision alone.
The walk down the hall to Bucky’s room felt like it would be the last time you’d walk these trails for some reason. The guilt, the anxiety just sat in the pit of your stomach, churning and making you feel extremely nauseous that you weren’t even sure you could do this.
But you took Nat’s advice, Bucky just had to know how you felt about him. It was his reaction you were more worried about.
You knocked on his door and wiped your sweaty palms on the back of your sweater. Bucky’s feet padding across the carpet resonated through the door, causing your heart rate to soar dangerously high. Bucky swung the door open; clad in black jeans, black socks, damp hair and his dog tags dangling over his chiseled chest. His cologne knocked any greeting out of your head, he smelled so good and it took all of your willpower not to lean in and take a deep sniff.
“Hey doll! Just the person I wanted to see, come on in!” He stands to the side and you walk in, shirts after shirts are scattered all over his bed.
“Bucky, I have to talk to you about something.” You start, but realise he isn’t actually paying attention to you but his shirts on the bed.
He smiles, picking up a shirt and holding it up against himself. “What do you think?” He asks, invisible question marks written all over his face.
“Uh it looks good? What’s the occasion?”
Pink dusts his cheeks as he throws down the shirt and picks up another, and another.
“I have a date with Jenny.” His smile reaches his eyes while your heart breaks. “It’s our third date so things are going well.”
“Your- your third date?” You chuckle nervously, desperately hiding the crack in your voice. “How did I miss this?”
Bucky shrugs slightly and decides to go with the maroon shirt.
“We’ve just kept it a secret until now. You’re the first person I’ve told actually and could really use your help with flirting since I’m not good in that department.”
Oh wow. An invisible force just punched you in the gut and the air is tight.
“I’m- I’m not exactly the best person to ask.” You bite your lip, blinking quickly so no tears dare shed. “Maybe ask Nat.” You say quickly, heading towards the door. This is a lot to process and you’re not sure what to do with yourself.
You bid Bucky good luck and good night. He really didn’t seem to take notice of your state of distress and if he did, he didn’t say anything. You head back to your room and lock the door, collapsing on your bed and allowing your pillow to capture your fallen tears.
Bucky sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. The maroon shirt hung loosely in his hand as he rested his elbows on his thighs. What the fuck was he doing? He was in love with you, he has been since he met you. It was his mind they made him believe you were too good for him, he didn’t deserve you since he was sure he would break your heart over and over again.
But your body language crumbled right under his eyes. He saw how you were trying so hard not to cry and all he wanted to do was hold you and told you not to cry. He had no idea what you thought about him, what you really thought about him and thought the only way he could get over you was to date somebody else completely opposite. He wasn’t lying when he said things were going well. He was worried things were going too well and now he’s scared shitless he’s lost the most important person in his life.
There was nobody else like you.
And Bucky wanted you.
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business as usual ⤿ masterlist | ONGOING
MOB!BUCKY x READER
STORY WARNINGS: mature language, mafia, angst, nonconsensual touches, violence, rough past, drug and alcohol mentions and use, smoking, smut, ( will be updated as story progresses )
“I don’t do love, I never understood it. But there is something about you, you changed everything for me. And darlin’ I don’t know if its a good or a bad thing.”
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Warmth - Bucky Barnes
(Repost) my first ever Marvel fic! :)
Pairing: TFATWS!Bucky Barnes x reader (no gendered pronouns)
Word count: 1.6K
Warnings: Based on TFATWS episode 3. Descriptions of violence, angst, that club scene, touch starved Bucky.
Summary: After the scene in Madripoor, you remind Bucky that he’s still good.
Russian translations: “attack, soldier” and “well done, soldier.”
You could tell what was going through Bucky’s head even if you couldn’t see his face.
His back muscles were tensed, strung tight through the leather. Hands clenched and unclenched, his left arm whirring in anticipation.
Bucky turned his head and faced Zemo, not glancing at you. His blue eyes were cold, colder than you’d ever seen them, and his emotionless expression was chilling.
There was a nanosecond of hesitation, near discernible. Then Bucky proceeded forward anyway, the crunch of bone making you flinch as he slammed the first man to the floor. Another advanced, stupidly, and now Bucky didn’t hold back, cleanly blasting the second into the third.
The table leg splintered as Bucky kicked it and sent his next opponent to the ground, turning and knocking the next down without even looking.
“Zemo, stop him,” you whispered, desperate.
“If we disrupt, they’ll kill us all. Stand down,” he hissed back.
You looked to Sam, hoping for interference from him, but he watched on stonily, obviously hating it as much as you did, yet understanding that Zemo had a point. The crowd would tear you to pieces at the slightest hint of suspicion.
Zemo pushed a man into Bucky’s line of sight, who made quick work of him, his punches getting harder and harder. Before you could blink, another went flying into a building support.
“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” you heard Zemo murmur to Sam and you bristled.
Bucky wrapped his metal hand around his final target’s throat, slamming him onto the bar counter and you jerked forward, only stopped by the sound of guns cocking around you.
“Stay in character or the whole bar will turn on us,” Zemo addressed you and Sam, especially glaring at you.
He turned to Bucky, who still had his hand around the man’s throat.
Bucky didn’t move. You went to touch his arm, then thought better of it.
“Selby will see you now,” said the bartender, cutting through the thick air and Zemo thanked him.
Bucky dropped the man without blinking, wordlessly following. You stayed behind Sam, taking one last look at the eight men Bucky had taken down in less than a minute.
Sharon was downstairs at her party and Sam was monitoring Zemo in the next room, probably to make sure he didn’t start a grease fire in the bathroom or something.
So it was you and Bucky, in silence.
He was on the couch opposite you, instead of next to you, and you already knew there was a swirl of ugly thoughts clouding his head.
You’d worked together before, back with the Avengers. Within no time, you’d grown very fond of the quiet soldier, bordering on feelings a little less platonic than you’d anticipated. Eventually, it blossomed into a relationship, a love that was new and still unsure, but strong and true no matter what you’d been through.
Bucky had been ridiculously stubborn about you being assigned to tracking down the Flag Smashers with him, particularly when he broke Zemo out of prison. He worried, expressing that it was because you didn’t have even close to the same training as he or Sam.
Though deep down, you knew it was more than that.
“Are you okay?”
He looked up sharply at your voice, though his face softened when he saw it was only you.
“What happened at the club, you know. I—you haven’t done that in a while and it just seemed like—”
“I’m fine, Y/N.” His tone wasn’t angry or annoyed but it was heavy enough to make you stop.
There was more silence. You spoke again after a few minutes, unable to stand it.
“You’re not that person anymore.”
Bucky didn’t say anything.
“That was... that was just an act, out of necessity, not—”
“I could’ve ended it.”
“Zemo didn’t give you a choice. I tried to get him to stop but he said it would blow our cover. It’s like… like he wanted you to stop holding back.”
“Maybe I wanted to stop too.”
He stared at his hands, at the light cuts on his flesh knuckles that would completely fade within the hour. Hesitantly, you got up to sit next to him, gingerly settling on the opposite side of the couch to give him as much room as possible.
“No no. Bucky, you’re not—you’re good now. You’re good.”
He looked up, meeting your gaze.
“‘M never gonna be good.”
You scooted closer, itching to reach out and hold his hand but waiting, not sure if he wanted that right now.
“This isn’t all you need to know,” you began. “You don’t only need to know violence and fear—”
“That’s all I deserve to know.”
His voice cracked, words clawing through his throat.
“No, it’s not. Bucky, you deserve everything that’s been taken away from you and more.”
“He was wrong about me,” he said, barely above a whisper, shaking his head.
Bucky didn’t reply, looking back down at his hands, flexing his fingers almost painfully. You tried to meet his eyes but he stared resolutely at the floor, jaw clenched.
“I saw you.” His voice startled you.
“Back at the bar, when I was fighting. You flinched. You looked so scared.”
He nodded, like he could hear a part of the conversation you couldn’t.
“Makes sense. Knew you’d be eventually. I’d be scared of me too.”
“I wasn’t scared of you,” you firmly corrected. “I was scared of what was happening. Of Zemo getting into your head.”
You reached for Bucky’s hand, taking care not to tug at the cuts. He jumped slightly but didn’t pull away.
“I’ve never been scared of you and I never will be. I know you’d never hurt me.”
“You keep touching me,” he said in awe, staring at your thumb rubbing his. He sounded as if he wasn’t aware he was speaking.
“Even after everything I’ve done, you’re still gentle. You still… want to touch me.”
“Of course I do. You’re my everything.”
Your thigh was against his now, and you leaned in, trying to encourage him to touch you back. Bucky hadn’t gotten a lot of physical affection before you’d started dating, and while it was a slow process, you and he were working on getting him used to it again, on not letting him force his body to stay starved of affection.
“Do you want to touch me?”
The whir of his arm told you that, on first instinct, yes, he did want to. But Bucky shook his head.
“You’ve touched me before, Buck. We haven’t gotten a chance to in a few days but now we can.”
He shook his head again.
“I’m not gentle like you. Shouldn’t take something I can’t return.”
You brought your other hand to his cheek, palm warm against his skin. You turned it to you, resting his head in the crook of your neck.
“Is this okay?” you asked, not wanting to overwhelm him.
He tensed, hesitating, then nodded, relaxing.
You stayed quiet, waiting until Bucky’s breaths matched with yours.
“You’re always gentle with me, you know. Never been too rough or too much. You’re always good, whatever you give me.”
“I was bad today.”
“You weren’t bad,” you soothed. “You were on a job, just like the rest of us, and Zemo took advantage of that. You’re still good, Bucky.”
“You were scared. I scared you.”
“No, you didn’t scare me. I would never be scared of you.”
To punctuate your point, you lifted your head and pressed your lips underneath Bucky’s eye with all the tenderness you could muster, softly kissing his cheekbone.
“You’re good. You deserve warmth and touch and love.” You kissed his other cheekbone, then again on his right eyebrow.
“You make me feel safe.”
You paused, careful to watch for signs of uneasiness but Bucky eyes were half-lidded, leaning in every time you touched him.
“You can touch me back, Bucky, if you want.”
He shook his head, tensing once more.
“No, I-I can’t, not tonight. I don’t deserve… I shouldn’t—”
“Okay,” you comforted, kissing a spot near his jaw.
“That’s okay. You don’t have to. Can I keep touching you?”
He glanced at his hands in his lap.
“You want to?”
“I do. I love you and I love being close to you.”
His eyebrows twitched a couple seconds, like he was trying to figure out why.
“‘Kay. Only if you really want to.”
“I really want to.”
Bucky nodded and let himself lean as much as he could into your touch, soaking up everything you had to offer. Surely, this wasn’t too much for him to take, right? You were offering it, he wasn’t asking, so it was okay for him to like it and want it. He was allowed to receive affection as long as he didn’t ask.
No, he told himself, because he knew that he wasn’t really deserving of someone as kind and peaceful and sweet as you. But it felt so good right now, especially when his head hurt from all the awful memories the bar had brought back, the ones that made him feel cold no matter where he was, but you were warm and held him without abandon. So he would let it slide, and didn’t think too much further about what the rules were on what he was and was not allowed.
“You’re so good,” you said again, and Bucky didn’t believe that all that much, because he knew what he’d done and you knew what he’d done, so how could you say that despite everything?
But he had you and loved you, and if he had you and loved you, then maybe, maybe, there was a chance that there was something good in him to be discovered.
You certainly thought so.
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Torture ~ Part 2
Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 9,145ish
Summary: You and Bucky get captured, and it’s definitely not an easy time.
Warnings: ANGST - torture, nudity, mentions of sex, unwanted sexual experiences, near drowning, blood
< Part 1
Bucky groaned as he began to come to. Though his eyes were already shut, they clenched as he slowly remembered what had happened.
You had gone down and it was clear the agents were purposefully trying to get Bucky away from you. But then there was the white smoke that made him tired. He couldn’t remember anything after that.
Slowly, he blinked, his eyes needing to adjust to the brightness of the room. The lights on the ceiling were LED, he immediately noticed. He was laying on top of a thin mattress that did nothing to support him. There was a silver sink and a silver toilet in the corner, with a silver chair besides them. Sitting up, he could tell the wall in front of him was pure glass, while the wall to his right and behind him were pure white. Looking over to his left, he first thought that that wall was a mirror until, instead of himself he saw, he saw you.
You were lying on an identical mattress in an identical looking room. You were still out like a light, which concerned him, but at least he could see you. Bucky noticed in that moment that they had stripped you both of your tac gear and dressed you in short compression shorts and tank tops. He slowly pushed himself to his feet and walked over to the glass wall that separated you. He knocked on the glass with is metal hand.
“Y/N,” he called. “Y/N, wake up.” You moaned as you started to stir awake. “Come on, sweetheart, wake up.”
“Wh—what?” you rasped, eyes slowly opening. You tiredly looked around as you pushed yourself up and leaned your upper body against the wall behind you. “What… How—“ you turned to see Bucky standing on the other side of a glass wall, his metal hand pressed against the glass. “Bucky? Where… where are we?”
“I have no clue.” He shook his head, studying the two rooms again. “It’s too clean in here.”
“Have no fear, Soldier,” a man’s gravelly voice interrupted. “I have a feeling that it won’t be that way for long.”
Two completely uniformed HYDRA agents walked in through a hidden door on the other side of the glass wall at the front of the rooms. A tall, middle-aged man in the same uniform was right behind them, with two more agents behind him. It was clear that man in the middle was in charge.
You pushed yourself up against the wall, wanting to make sure that you didn’t look threatened by the man. Which you really weren’t, you just needed to make sure that he didn’t see you as weak. Both you and Bucky carefully watched as the man stood in front of the two rooms with a smug smirked etched onto his face.
“Welcome back to HYDRA, Winter Soldier,” the man said. “It’s been too long.” You bit the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from doing anything stupid. From the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky’s jaw clench. “And Agent L/N, nice of you to join our ranks.”
“Who are you?” Bucky asked, his voice low and dangerous.
“Oh, yes,” the man chuckled. “Of course you wouldn’t remember me. I’m Jack Snow. I was simply like one of these men back when you were here, Soldier,” he motioned to the guards near him. “Just doing what I needed to for my beliefs and to rise the ranks of HYDRA.”
“What do you want with us?” You asked, keeping your voice strong and steady.
His dark blue eyes, almost black, bore into you as his snapped his head in your direction. His eyes slowly went up your form as he studied you. You tried not to shiver and tense under his gaze. You could faintly hear the whirling of Bucky’s metal arm as he clenched his fist.
“That, my dear, all depends on the two of you,” Snow responded. “I need information on the Avengers and my Soldier back, you two will be able to give me both.”
“Let her go,” Bucky said. “If you want the Winter Soldier back, she has nothing to do with it.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Since the trigger words are no longer working with you, we need leverage. And she,” Snow pointed a finger towards you, “is your perfect leverage.”
“I won’t do anything for you unless you let her go.”
“I’m not so sure about that.”
Snow stepped forward and tapped on the glass of your room. A small rectangular control panel appeared. You and Bucky watched as his fingers pressed a few things. It was a quiet change, but noticeable to you. The vents were making a rushing sound, like they were sucking something in. It quickly began to get harder and harder to breathe. You lifted your hands and they gentled clawed at the bottom of your throat. With wide, frantic eyes, you looked to Bucky, falling to your knees as you started choking.
“Y/N!” Bucky shouted as he rammed his metal fist into the glass, failing to make a single crack or dent. “Y/N!”
Your eyes were growing heavy as less and less oxygen reached your lugs. You could faintly hear Bucky’s shouting and pounding from the other side of the glass. With your body quickly giving out, you collapsed onto the floor, still taking shallow, barely there breaths.
“Y/N! NO!” Bucky screamed, falling to his knees. John Snow cackled. “I’ll do anything you want! Just stop hurting her!”
John grin grew victoriously. “Excellent.”
His fingers reach back up to the controls. Air was swiftly pushed back into your cell, causing you to choke slightly as it began to fill your lungs once again. Bucky closed his eyes in relief at seeing your chest rise and fall normally again.
“You both will do what I want,” John said, “but first I will have to break you both in order to know that I have pure compliance.” The man turned and began heading towards the door out, the guards following. “Welcome home, Soldiers. We have a lot of work to do.”
The door shut and Bucky pressed himself up against the glass, trying to reach you.
“Sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asked, the worry in his voice was also compressed against his chest. You nodded, opening your eyes and turning your body to face him. “I’m so sorry this happened. I’m going to get you out of here. I promise.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Buck,” you rasped, crawling over to lean against the glass wall that separated your two cells.
“I’m so sorry, doll… for everything.”
“Are you saying that because of the situation we’re in or because you actually mean it?”
“I mean it, Y/N. Every word. And once we get out of here I’m set on proving to you that I mean it.”
All you could get yourself to do was swallow harshly and then nod. Your body was tired, having the oxygen taken from it. Your eyes fluttered shut before your whole body jolted awake, almost like it had already decided it was too scared to fall asleep.
“You need to rest,” your half-opened eyes met his blue ones. “I’ll keep watch and wake you before anything happens.”
Only because you felt your body giving into the rest it so desperately craved, you nodded in agreement. The mattress was on the other side of the cell but you didn’t care. Your body was too tired to reach it and you wanted to be as close to Bucky as you could possibly be. As soon as you were fully laid out on the ground, you were out.
Bucky let out a long breath, unsure of what to do. So he simply sat there, barely taking his eyes off of you. He couldn’t allow you to be harmed, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he did. But, unfortunately, Bucky didn’t have that luxury of choice.
You slept soundly for a few hours, Bucky waiting for the next shoe to drop. He was moving his mattress closer to the glass wall that separated you with the glass wall suddenly turned black and he couldn’t see you anymore. He rushed to the glass, punching it over and over again.
“Y/N! Y/N!” He shouted. “Can you hear me?”
You jolted awake from the sound of Bucky punching the wall. Looking around, you realized that the wall between the two of you was black. Jumping to your feet, you stood in front of the glass wall.
“Bucky!” You responded, hitting against the glass as well. “Bucky! What’s happening?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “But we need to keep talking to each other so that we know the other is there.”
“Okay,” you nodded. “Yeah.” You didn’t hear the secret door to your cell slide open and John Snow with two guards step in. “Okay… Bucky, I—“ Snow kicked you in the back, slamming you into the glass. You gasped out a yelp in surprise.
“Y/N? Are you okay? What was that?”
One of the guards grabbed one of your arms to restrain you, while the other side the same on the other side. You began to thrash around, trying to get loose when Snow grabbed you by the neck from behind and slammed your head into the glass.
“Y/N!” Bucky shouted. He kept scanning the pitch black wall, like it would eventually be able to see right through it. “Come on, Y/N! Answer me!”
Snow dragged the metal chair in your cell loudly behind you. The guards swiftly pushed you into it. They used their feet to trap your legs against the lets and their hands to trap your arms. Snow sent a nod to someone you couldn’t see and suddenly metal cuffs pinned you to the chair; two on each limb, one around your thighs and the other around your waist.
“Time to have some fun,” Snow whispered, leaning down against your ear.
“Y/N! Y/N!” Bucky continued to call out for you as he hit and rammed himself against the barrier.
Snow, without his eyes leaving your face, reached his hand out and motioned for something. One of the guards handed him a black stick looking thing.
“This is going to be painful,” Snow told you, quietly. Like he was trying to prevent Bucky from hearing anything. “And I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
He leaned away from you with a wicked smirk on his lips. You watched as he pushed a button just above where his thumb was resting on the stick. The top of stick began glowing orange. You had been put through rigorous training to deal with torture, so your breathing was even and your weren’t giving anything away on your face. You weren’t going to give Snow the satisfaction of what he was about to do to you.
Looking at you dead in the eye, he pressed the tip of the stick into your right shoulder. You bit your tough to prevent you from screaming out at the searing pain of your skin burning. You glared him down at he removed the stick and pressed it against your another shoulder. You inhaled sharply, still not allowing yourself to scream, cry or wince, even though your brain was screaming at you to do all of those things.
Bucky was still shouting for you and hitting against the glass. Snow rolled his eyes at the seeming annoyance of Bucky trying to get to you.
“Make his cell soundproof, so that we can’t hear him,” Snow ordered, loud enough for Bucky to hear. “But make sure that he can hear her.”
“Yes, sir,” one of the guards responded, quickly pulling out a tablet and pressing on it. “It’s done.”
“Great. Let’s keep this going then.”
He raised his arm and swung the stick into your face. It burned as it hit across your face and your head snapped to one side. He then did it to the other side, with still no response from you. Snow frowned before jamming the burning stick into your stomach. You bit down on your tongue harder, drawing blood as you lurched forward. You clenched your eyes shut at the threat of tears falling. You would not give him the satisfaction of seeing how painful it all was.
“You are a surprisingly tough one,” Snow commented. “Especially for the lack of serum and powers you have.”
“Sometimes, there’s strength in normalcy,” you panted out a responded, trying to sound stronger than you felt.
Snow hummed. “Well, we’ll see how long that lasts. Let’s head out. We’ll leave her in the chair for now. See how the Soldier handles it.”
Snow stomped out, with his goons following after him. Once the door slid shut, you let your head hang and the tears slip down your face.
Bucky was going crazy. He couldn’t see you and he knew that you couldn’t see or hear him. Deciding that it was useless to fight against the seemingly unbreakable glass, he had started to pace. His anxiety was at an all time high. You were getting tortured just mere feet away and he couldn’t do anything to stop it.
He was just about to turn once gain, when the black disappeared from the wall separating the two of you. Bucky rushed towards it, letting something between a gasp and a growl escape his lips.
“Y/N!” He called for you. “Can you hear me?”
“Yeah…” you breathed out, rolling your head back up.
“Are you okay? What did they do to you?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” you forced a small smile. “I’m okay, Bucky.”
“Don’t lie to me, sweetheart.” He shook his head slightly. He studied the bleeding burn marks along your body. “I didn’t hear you screaming,” he whispered.
“I couldn’t do that to you… or give him the satisfaction.”
“Stop Bucky. I can see the guilt and the worry and the weight of the world in your eyes. This is not your fault.”
“I should be protecting you.”
“Sometimes that’s not possible. And that’s okay.”
Suddenly the cuffs that were holding you down released you. You sighed in relief, visibly relaxing. Bucky watched as you slowly left the chair, grabbed the mattress in the corner, and moved it to mirror where Bucky’s was. You laid down, looking into Bucky’s cell. Bucky copied you, able to meet yours.
“Just…” you nervously breathed out, “just don’t leave me… okay?”
“I’m not planning on it, sweetheart.”
The two of you don’t know how long you were left alone for, but Bucky was sure it was a little over 50 hours. You had to take his word for it. The small amounts of food you got were from a slit that appeared against the wall. It was always old and stale, whatever they gave you. But you both knew that you needed to get to preserve your strength.
Bucky and you didn’t do much talking, the tension still very much there. Both of you wanted to say so much but it was not the place or time to do so. He did often share concern about the burn marks, one of them looking infected. You waved it off as no big deal, though in all honesty it actually hurt to move your right shoulder because of it.
The two of you were laying side by side, with the obvious glass wall between you, when you noticed smoke slowly exiting the vents into your cell.
“Bucky…” your voice was clearly scared as you sat up and stared at the smoke.
“What is it?” He sat up as well, looking into your cell.
“Smoke.” It was like you triggered something just by saying that word out loud. “Bucky.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Bucky moved so that he was on his knees facing you. He lightly tapped on the glass to try and get your attention on him instead of the smoke. “Look at me, Y/N. Focus on me.” You looked over and saw how he was positioned, and you copied it. “There you go. I need you to put your shirt to your mouth. It will act as a filter and buy you some time.” You nodded, quickly did as instructed. “Now, keep your eyes on me, okay?”
It was breaking Bucky that he couldn’t do anything to really help you or erase that glint of fear from your eyes. The two of you knelt there, staring at each other as the smoke continued to fill your room. Soon, you began to cough, the shirt not working very well as protection. Your eyes were getting heavy, but you fought to keep your focus on Bucky.
“You’re doing so good,” Bucky pressed, trying to keep you fighting.
He knew it wouldn’t last must longer, that you’d be given no choice but to give in. You were swaying, your body weakening. Then with one last glance at Bucky, your eyes closed and your body went slack on the mattress. Almost in that same moment, a vacuum turned on and the smoke disappeared through the vents, leaving you passed out in the room.
A few minutes later, Snow and two guards entered the cell. Bucky stood up, trying to look like he was defending you when he knew he actually couldn’t. Without a word, the guards grabbed you, causing Bucky to growl.
“Don’t touch her!” He hit the glass.
Snow smirked. “What are you going to do to stop us?”
He pressed a button on the tablet he had in his hand, cause chains to be released from the ceiling. The guards attached you to them, clearly causing strain on you because your toes were barely touching the ground.
“For this one, I want you to watch,” Snow told Bucky.
A guard entered the room with a whip. Bucky immediately noticed that there were small, broken pieces of glass imbedded in it. He tensed, stepping as close as he could to the glass.
“I’ll do anything you want me to,” Bucky was trying to sound strong, but there was a hint of begging in his tone. “Just don’t hurt her.”
“I’m afraid that won’t work,” Snow grinned. “Like I told you before, I need to break both of you to ensure pure compliance. And to break the both of you, I need to torture her. So that’s exactly how I intend to do it, how ever long it takes and using whatever methods I choose.”
Bucky clenched his jaw, glaring daggers at the man. Snow turned and took the whip’s handle from the guard. He released the whip, throwing it back over his shoulder before slashing across the side of your left hip. Bucky had to hold back a flinch as you suddenly awoke with a scream of pain. Snow threw the whip back over his shoulder, revealing how the whip tore through before your shirt and skin, blood dripping down your legs and onto the floor.
Snow repeated the action, again and again. Each in different spots. You were still out of it because of the smoke, that you couldn’t stop yourself from crying out in pain. Bucky eventually had to look away as he started flinching every time the whip hit you. Snow had a huge smile on his face as he heard each of your screams and noticed Bucky had turned away and began flinching.
After about 20 minutes of whipping you, Snow decided that he had had his fun for the day. The guards followed him out of the room, leaving you dangling there by your wrists. The door slid closed and Bucky let a tear fall. He pressed himself up against the glass, like if he were to just will it, if he could press up against it hard enough, he could reach you.
Bucky watched you carefully, focusing on your breathing. It was ragged and unevenly, but it was there. Your head hung down, having passed out because of the pain, and blood was running down your body into a pile below your toes. It was bright in contrast to the white walls and floor of the cell you were encased in. Bile slid its way up Bucky throat, but he wouldn’t let it come out. He couldn’t give Snow the satisfaction of that.
“It’s been three days, and still no signs of them,” Natasha sighed as she collapsed in one of the conference room chairs. It had been turned into a command center for the search. She ran a hand down her face as she propped her feet up on the table.
“At least Vision and Clint haven’t reported in about finding their bodies,” Steve said. “It means there’s still hope.”
“Yeah, but for how long?”
“We all know that HYDRA won’t kill Bucky without trying to get the Winter Soldier back out of him.”
“And they have the perfect leverage to do it… Y/N. They’re going to use Y/N to get Bucky to do what they want.”
“We need to find them before we’re too late.”
“Yes, but when will that be?”
“I don’t know but we an’t give up until we bring them home.”
Bucky flinched when the chains were released at you fell to the ground, landing in your own blood. His heart raced as he itched to hold your tortured body in his arms. He fell onto his knees so that you’d be able to see him better when you finally woke. The sound of your slight groans gave Bucky the sign that you were waking up. You turned but froze as a cry slipped through your lips.
“Don’t try to move,” Bucky said gently. “The wounds haven’t stopped bleeding, they’re still open.”
Your eyes blinked open, searching for Bucky. When they found him, you could see the weight of guilt weighing down on his shoulders. Like if they were to put him in water, Bucky would easily sink down to the bottom.
“Stop that,” you rasped.
“Stop what?” He played dumb.
“Blaming yourself for all this… it’s not a good look on you.”
“He’s torturing you because of me… so it is all my fault.”
“A relationship is a two way street, Buck. And this is nothing I can’t handle.”
“You’re laying in your own blood, you can barely move. How much more of this do you think you can handle before you just resent me?”
You bit your bottom lip as you pushed yourself to a sitting up position. “You don’t get it do you? I love you, James. It will take a lot of work for me to actually resent you. That’s how it works when you love someone, in case you didn’t know.”
“No. I don’t want to hear it. I need to rest, since I might bleed out and die anyway.”
Staying where you were, you turned your body and laid back down. You made sure that your back was facing Bucky. He sighed, wanting to defend himself but unsure of how to exactly go about doing that. So he moved so that he was sitting up against the wall. He chose to watch you breathe, your chest still unevenly rising and falling.
Bucky was sure they left you two alone for another three days. You refused to even look at him. You hadn’t moved much from your mattress after finally getting there. The blood on the white floor was definitely now a large stain. Bucky still felt sick every time he saw it, wanting to just throw up everywhere.
Most of the cuts across your body were healing nicely. The rest, not so much. You were pretty sure you were going to die of an infection before you died during the torture or got out of here. You could feel what it was starting to do to your body, but you couldn’t let Bucky know. For one, because you were still angry at him and other was because he didn’t need to carry any more guilt and worry than he was already.
The both of you were laying down on your mattresses when Snow and his guards entered the section in front of the two cells. Bucky was quickly to his feet, where you couldn’t move that fast so you just opted to sit up.
“I see our Soldiers have been resting,” Snow commented. “How perfect.” Neither of you were willing to give him a response. “Today, I wanted to try something different.” The vents made a loud noise as white smoke began to rush through them. “And I need you both out for it.”
You woke up in a glass box, in an empty room. You were leaning against one of the walls, your legs folded under you. Looking up you noticed that the walls reached all the way up to the ceiling, with the whole thing not being very wide. Using the walls for support, you pushed yourself onto your feet and began studying the outside room. It was perfectly square, a door on each wall.
“You two are awake, good. Let’s get started,” Snow’s voice boomed over speakers. “Soldier, let’s see how good your locating skills are. Your precious Y/N is somewhere in this maze, locked in a glass container. You have 20 minutes to locate her before the container fills with water and she unfortunately drowns. But beware, some of my guards might be standing in your way. Don’t be afraid to let the Winter Soldier take control. Good luck.”
Water quickly came raining down on you, drenching you almost immediately. You began hitting and ramming up against the glass, only for it to mockingly do nothing. Time seemed to speed up in that glass container. Before you knew it the water was up to your waist.
“You’re running out of time, Soldier,” Snow’s voice taunted. “Let him in.”
“Don’t Bucky!” You shouted, not knowing if he could hear you or not. “Don’t let the Soldier in!”
“How sweet, even as her life hangs in the balance, Y/N’s still watching out for you. But are you doing the same for her?”
You had to start treading water once it had reached your shoulders. It was tiring and you were worried that you didn’t have enough strength to hold yourself up before the water filled the whole container.
“Bucky, I don’t know if you can hear me,” you started speaking, panting slightly. “But I’m sorry.”
“No!” He growled, responding over the speakers. “You do not get to apologize!”
“Please don’t blame yourself. You didn’t put me in here.” You were treading still, taking in the last few inched of air you had left. “I love you. Even if you never feel that exact some way about me… I love you.”
“Stop it! Y/N! I am not doing this right now! I’m going to find you because I need to tell you how I feel in person. Not while scouring this maze for you. I will find you because I need you to realize how much I regret not telling you that night you did or even way before that! I will find you, I promise!”
“Bucky…” Tears rolled down your cheeks as you readied yourself to take your last big breath. “I love you.”
You took a large inhale before the water had completely consumed the container. You could faintly hear Bucky’s screams from under the water, breaking your heart. Because of your training, you knew you could hold your breath longer than the average person. But even that wasn’t long enough, because you gave into the darkness more quickly than you would have liked.
“Bucky… I love you.”
“Y/N? Y/N? NO!” Bucky screamed. “Y/N, answer me!”
“Looks like your times up,” Snow said. “I guess you didn’t want to save her as much as I thought you did.”
Bucky growled, running down one of the maze halls. He needed to get to you and do whatever it takes to do so. He had only been injuring and knocking Snow’s men out so far. But now you could actually be dead, so they deserved to be too.
The next guard Bucky ran into didn’t stand a chance. Especially because he needed the weapons. Bucky took the guns from the guard he had just choked the life out of. The next guards he found earned a bullet straight into their hearts. Not one of them stood a chance against Bucky, which made Snow grinned wickedly as he watched from the screen in his office.
Bucky eventually reached a door. He opened it, ripping it off its hinges as he did so. If he was in his right mind, he probably would have halted at the sight of you lifeless floating in that glass container. But he wasn’t in his right mind. Bucky shot a few rounds at the glass, only cracking it, before going up and using his metal fist to hit right at one of the cracks. The glass shattered, spilling the water out everywhere, with you along with it.
Your body was too cold and you weren’t breathing, even with you being out of the water. Bucky picked you up and took you to a corner of the room that was the least wet and glass cluttered. You were barely flat on your back before he began CPR. The sound of your ribs cracking beneath the force of his hands should have caused him to flinch, but it didn’t. He leaned down, plugging your nose and forcing air into your mouth before continuing compressions.
There was little relief when you began coughing and breathing again. You heaved and Bucky turned you onto your side, allowing you to throw up. Once you were all out, he held you close and let you curl up against him. Your breaths were labored and you were shivering as you tried to get smaller and smaller. But you couldn’t curl in too much without a whimper slipping through.
Someone clapping sounded from behind the two. “Very good,” Snow smirked. “Very entertaining as well.”
Bucky’s jaw clenched as he tightened his grip on you. Guards filed into the room, reminding him of who was really in charge. Snow waltzed closer to the couple still on the ground.
“Leave her there, Soldier, and come with me,” Snow ordered. Bucky didn’t move. “I don’t think you want me to rip her from your arms. So let her go and come with me.”
With a hard glare, he slowly let you go, laying you on the ground in front of him. He looked at your face as he took his time to stand up. Snow nodded to a few of his guards, and they went to pick you up. Bucky growled and took a protective step forward.
“I wouldn’t try anything if I were you, Soldier,” Snow warned. “They’ll kill her on the spot if you do.”
Bucky watched at the guards hoisted you up from under your arms and dragged you away like a rag doll. His eyes didn’t leave you as they dragged you through the door, still staring after you were gone.
“If you want to see her again, there’s some work you must do.” Snow stepped in front of Bucky. “Starting with some training.”
You were back in your cell when you finally came to. Your body was still weak, tired, and cold, but you had to stay awake. You were scared you might really leave this earth if you rested again. Looking over to Bucky’s cell, it was dark. The lights were off and it was very obvious he wasn’t in there. That worried you.
If you were alive and in your cell, it meant that Bucky had to let the Soldier out. One of his worst fears. But he had done that to save your life. Which you could have blamed yourself for, but you knew the real culprit was John Snow. You were going to make sure that you killed Snow with your bare hands before you left this awful place.
Shivering, you needed to curl up to get warm. Turning on your side to face Bucky’s cell, you cried out at the pain in your ribs. You lifted your shirt to reveal very painful, large purple bruises. Using an arm to support your ribs, you finished the turn onto your side, curled up, and you waited. And waited, and waited. The longer the minutes ticked by, the more worried for Bucky you became.
You jumped when the glass between the two cells went completely black. You pushed yourself up so that your back was up against the wall. And continued to wait. You didn’t have to wait very long, because the door to your cell slid open and in waltzed Snow, without any guards. You obviously didn’t pose as a threat to him anymore.
“I really am glad to see you up,” he started. He moved to the metal chair, pulled it up to the mattress, and sat in it. “I was worried you were actually going to be a goner.”
“Where’s Bucky?” You asked.
“Oh, he’s back in there.” He pointed towards Bucky’s cell. “I simply didn’t feel like rewarding him with see you just yet.”
“What did you do to him?”
“Only what he was made to do.”
“He wasn’t made to do anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. He was made to inflict pain and to enforce the will of HYDRA.”
You shook your head. “You’re wrong. Bucky was made to be a hero, to love and to be loved. He’s stronger than you even realize and he will give you what he wants to protect me, nothing else. Including protecting himself.”
“You’re right about one thing, he will do anything to protect you.”
Suddenly, Snow lurched forward and grabbed you by the neck. He hauled you up to your feet and held you against the wall. The black separating the two cells disappeared, causing Bucky to snap towards your ceil. He went to stock towards the glass when John stopped him.
“I wouldn’t move if I were you,” John warned, “or she getting a knife to her carotid artery.” He slipped a knife out of his sleeve, pressing the blade against you. Bucky froze. He couldn’t let you get hurt. “Very good, Soldier. Bring in the present!”
Bucky’s cell door slid open and a clearly drunk, giggling, barbie looking woman was pushed into the room. Once she caught sight of Bucky, she was quickly batting her lashes and leaning up against him. He tried to step away and the blade was pressed harder against you.
“I told you, don’t move,” John smirked, a drop of blood trickling down you. “This is your present, Soldier. You have three options to choose from: a, you kill the woman right away and Y/N here lives, b, you have sex with the woman while Y/N watches and both women live, or c, you do nothing to the woman and Y/N dies. The choice is yours.”
Bucky meet your gaze, tears filling up your eyes at the impossible decision he was being forced to make. To him, C, wasn’t on the table at all. Option A would kill the innocent woman and force you to watch. Option B would save her life but force you to watch him have sex with this woman, which would hurt you emotionally.
You both took your eyes off one another as a cart got rolled in. There was a gun and a condom laying on the top of them, showing two of the three choices. Bucky looked back at you again for guidance, only for you to look at him with so much guilt and sorrow. You couldn’t help him make this decision. But one thing was clear, he couldn’t do anything that would hurt you. Before you even blinked, Bucky had the gun in his hand and fired. The woman lay bleeding out on the floor. Y/N gasped, letting the tears fall.
“I knew you’d make that choice,” John smirked. He harshly let you go as guards rushed in to take the woman’s body away. “You have tonight together before your first mission back. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
John waltzed out, the guards disappeared, leaving you and Bucky alone in the two cells. Bucky’s head was down, back turned to you, as he stared at the woman’s blood.
“Bucky,” you called carefully. You walked up to the glass, hand pressing against it. “Look at me.” He didn’t move. “Her blood isn’t on you.”
“Yes it is,” he responded, his voice rough and raw. “There was another choice. But the thought of you watching—“ He sucked in a breath. “I couldn’t do that to you.”
“I know… I know…”
You teeth clattered against each other as you were reminded of the cold. Your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to warm you up. You were about to say something to Bucky when the glass between the two cells slipped into the back wall. Bucky didn’t move but you took a careful step in his direction, testing out the new rules. Once you realized it was real, you made your way in front of Bucky.
“Look at me,” you demanded gently. He reluctantly did. “Please don’t waste our time like this. They’re letting us be with each other before they probably take me away from you and force you to kill our friends… please just hold me…”
Bucky couldn’t say no to that. He gently, yet swiftly, brought you into him. Slowly the two of you moved to his mattress, where the two of you laid together, entangled in each other’s warmth. You reached up and pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I love you,” you whispered, tears rolling down your cheeks.
Bucky kissed you again, harder. “I love you too,” he responded. “I’m going to get you out of here… I promise.”
The next morning, the two of you woke up to guards marching into the room. Four of them quickly went over and tore you off of Bucky. He began retaliating, trying to fight them off of you. One pressed a gun to your head.
“Bucky…” you cried out. “Do what you have to to get free… don’t worry about me…”
“I can’t do that,” he responded quietly, shaking his head. “I love you too much.”
The guards dragged you away. “I love you.”
“I promise nothing’s going to happen to you, Y/N.”
“I’m more worried about you.”
Then you were out the door. You watched as the door to your cell disappeared along the long hall they were dragging you down. You let the tears roll down your face as they took your farther and farther away from Bucky. They took you into a small room, clean room. It was white like the other one, with a twin bed on one side, an open shower on the other. The shower was next to a sink and toilet. On the other side was a shelf with some folded clothes on it.
“I need to keep you in good health to ensure the Soldier will do what I need him to,” Snow strolled in. “Just know, the situation can change whenever you or him act out.”
The guards tossed you from their grip, onto the floor. You turned to look up at Snow.
“I hope he breaks free and run,” you growled.
“I hope, for your sake, he doesn’t.”
It had been two and a half weeks since you had seen Bucky, or anyone else for that matter. They had left you alone since bringing you to the new room, when you assumed was a good thing. Except that Bucky was out there doing their dirty work, losing all the progress he had made to become himself again.
You were sitting on your bed when the slit under your door opened and in slid a box. You furrowed your brows and you moved towards it and noticed a little note on top of it. You picked up the note and unfolded it.
Your Soldier’s coming home tonight. Dress up to reward him. - J.S.
You took a deep breath as you brought the box over to the bed. Opening it, you immediately noticed it was lingerie. You lifted it out of the box to find a black, lacy bodysuit. You knew that you’d probably be in more trouble if you didn’t wear it, so you had no choice. You changed into the lingerie and waited on the bed for Bucky to arrive.
When the door finally swung open, a guard entered first, aiming a gun at you. You curled in on yourself on the bed, trying to keep some of your dignity. Bucky followed after the guard. To them, he looked like their strong Soldier. But to you, he was the beaten down man you met after had escaped HYDRA. Snow stepped into the room from behind, eyes roaming over your barely clothed body.
“The Soldier is here for the next day to rest,” Snow informed you. “Treat him well. And, Soldier, she’s all yours.”
Snow nodded towards the door to the guard, signaling for them to go. The door shut and locked behind the men leaving. Bucky didn’t move, and neither did you. You sat them, studying the way his shoulders shagged and eyes were darker. Exhaling slowly, you moved off the bed and to him. The second his eyes met yours, you knew that you were actually dealing with the Soldier and not your Bucky.
Suddenly, and very roughly, the Soldier pushed you up against the wall. He pushed his body into yours as he began to suck at the open spots of your skin.
“Bucky,” you rasped, trying to push him off of you. “Bucky, please stop.”
That seemed to get the Soldier going more. He shut you up with his lips on your, shoving his tongue into your mouth. You tried to push him off, thrashing around, but he gripped you tighter. Bruisingly tight. You gasped as he tossed you onto the bed, pinning your hands above your head with his metal hand and pinning your legs down with his knees.
“Please,” you cried. This wasn’t your Bucky. “Please, stop.”
He pushed himself against you sucking away at the skin you had on display. You clenched your eyes shut as tears trailed down your cheeks. The Soldier, still kneeling on your legs, let your arms go and straightened his back. His face was void of emotion as he went to strip himself of his own clothes. You took this chance to reach up and smack him across the face. He growled, metal hand coming down on your throat and pinning you to the bed.
“B—Buck—y,” you strained. “Pl—please… Sto—stop…” You looked into his eyes. “Please…”
Within seconds, he was off of you and across the room. You were choking as air began to go back through your windpipe.
“Oh my— I— Y/N. No,” Bucky rambled, staring at you in horror. “I… I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh. I almost— I—“ You didn’t respond, curling in on yourself on the bed. You watched him warily. “Y/N…”
“I’ve never ran into the Soldier before,” you whispered. “He was cruel.” Tears streamed down your face. “He… he wasn’t you, Buck.”
“Then why are you still looking at me like that? Like you’re scared of me to come anywhere near you.” You looked away, ashamed. Bucky leaned against the wall behind him, sliding down it onto the floor. “I was worried about this happening. I’ve let him back in… scared you.”
“It’s not your fault, Buck. It’s what they’re making you do.”
“Did he make you dress like that?”
“Snow gave it to me. Told me it was to reward you.”
“I… I would never—“
“But the Soldier would. He… he almost did. Next time he might just…”
“I’m going to bargain for your freedom.”
“I’ll stay here in exchange for you to be able to go home.”
“No!” You jumped off the bed. “I will not let you do that. We are making it out of this, together. Or not at all.”
“I can’t let the Soldier or Snow keep hurting you. Just look at your skin, Y/N! Bruises are forming right before my eyes and the scars he’s given you! It’s killing me to watch it.”
“Don’t you think it’s killing me to watch what this is putting you through?! Every time I see you, I can see what all of this is doing to you. I feel my heart shatter.” You made your way over to him. “This is what they want though, for it to break both of us. Even to break us apart. We can’t let that happen.” Your hand come up to his cheek, rubbing your thumb along it. “Please don’t let them win.” Bucky sighed into your palm, leaning into it. “We will get out of here. I can’t imagine that our friends have stopped looking for us.”
“Ten assassinations in four weeks,” Steve sighed. “All with his MO… It’s Bucky. It has to be."
“They must be using Y/N as leverage to get what they want out of him,” Tony said.
“There’s been another one,” Natasha stated, entering the room. “A political party member of a rising party in Europe.”
“We need to find him and Y/N,” Steve said. “Stop what’s going on.”
“Guys! Guy!” Clint and Scott shouted as they ran in.
“I think we found something!” Scott announced. He handed his tablet over to Tony. Tony’s eyes bulged as he looked at what’s on the screen.
“Holy shit, I think you did.” Tony looked at Steve, showing him the picture of the note left on one of the assassinations.
“He’s leaving us clues,” Clint said.
You hadn’t seen Bucky again after those 24 hours you had with him. You two spent most of the time holding onto each other, trying to ease the others’ worries. It didn’t really work, but it was still nice trying. It was a week and a half since all that. You were laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, when a box got slipped under your door with a note on top. You sighed, figuring you had a good guess about what was inside. You crawled over to it and opened the note.
He’s coming back tonight. Wear it and do what he wants. I won’t let you stop him this time. I’m waiting for a show. - J.S.
This set of lingerie was red and really was useless as it didn’t cover much. Once you were changed into it, the door opened and Bucky entered. By looking into his eyes, you knew it was your Bucky.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I made a mistake on the mission and now… If I don’t do what he wants, he’ll kill you. And I can’t—“
“It’s okay,” you whispered, coming up to him. “Do what you have to… I can handle it…”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Bucky…” you gently took his face in your hands. “It’s okay.”
He turned around, ashamed, as he stripped down until he was naked. You could hear and see him take a deep breath before he spun around and slammed you into the wall. You winced and could see the apology in his eyes. He didn’t say anything and you knew it was because he was going to get in trouble if he did.
You allowed him to use you like a rag doll and did everything he directed. With each demand, you could feel how sorry he was. You didn’t fight, knowing that Snow was watching and that it was life or death. You were bleeding in many places, and exhausted, by the time Snow’s order came over the speakers for Bucky to step away from you. He ordered for Bucky to leave you there and clean himself up.
You passed out as the shower turned on. Bucky kept his eyes on your chest rising and falling as he quickly did as he was ordered to do so, changing into the clothes that were on the shelf for him. He was just about to go and clean you up when the red alarm began going off. You groggily woke, pushing yourself to sit up.
“Don’t,” Bucky softly ordered. “Don’t move. You’re too weak.”
“What’s going on?” You asked.
“I don’t know.”
“I need to get dressed. If they come into move us, I… I don’t want…”
“I’ve got it.”
He picked you up and rushed you to the shower. With a washcloth, he wiped you down carefully before helping you change. Just as he finished, Snow stormed into the room with a handful of guards.
“You two, up and with me,” he ordered. “Now.”
Bucky helped you up, your legs wobbly with what you had just been through. Snow quickly snatched you from Bucky’s arms and aimed a gun at your side. Bucky’s hands formed into fists and his jaw clenched.
“You and my guards will do whatever’s necessary to get me out of here, or she dies,” Snow threatened, moving the gun to aim and your neck.
The guard offered Bucky a gun. He took it, eyes glaring at Snow. Bucky then took the lead, now knowing the ways out of here because of the missions he had been on. Being out in the hallway now, you were able to hear the fighting going on. The familiar sounds of repulsers firing and a vibranium shield clanging against the walls.
You took a deep breath in as you felt hope flood your veins for the first time in what seems liked forever. With a gun pressed into your neck, Bucky led your group down the halls. You hoped that Bucky was leading you closer to your team and not farther away. But you also knew that, to him, your life was in the balance and he wasn’t going to do any more to hurt you than he already had.
“Stop right there,” Tony instructed, stepping into the hallway and blocking the way.
His hand came up, ready to fire, as his helmet disappeared into his suit. He looked at you, relief filling his eyes until he noticed the gun pressed against your neck. Tony’s eyes flicked from yours to the gun against your neck and then to the gun Bucky was aiming at him.
“I thought we were good now, Barnes,” Tony said. “Hate to see you pointing a gun at me again.”
“I have no choice,” Bucky responded. “He’ll kill her.”
“The Soldier is right,” Snow interrupted. “If he doesn’t get me out of here, I will kill her. So, Soldier, what are you waiting for? Kill him.”
Bucky’s finger twitched over the trigger before he pulled it. The red, white, and blue shield came flying between Tony and the bullet, blocking it before the shield lodged itself into the wall. You could see Bucky let out a sigh of relief, like he had been hoping that was going to happen. Sounds of bodies falling behind Snow, yourself, and Bucky made you turn to look. They each had arrows in them. Clint was not too far down the hall with Nat, waiting to make their next move.
“Shoot them Soldier!” Snow demanded. “Before I shoot her!”
He pressed the gun against you harder, which you didn’t think was possible. You noticed the slight nod of Bucky’s head to Steve and Steve’s response. Shots were fired. You don’t even know who shot first in all the commotion. But suddenly, both Snow and you were on the ground, bleeding. John Snow was dead and you were definitely going to bleed out with out fast the blood was leaving your stomach.
“Y/N!” Various voices shouted.
Bucky was quickly on one side of you, hands pressing against the wound. Tony was kneeling on the other side, while the others stood around. You could hear Steve calling in for a med team and a quinjet, using his Captain voice.
“Stay with me,” Bucky begged. “I promised you that I’d get you out of this, I told intend on breaking that now.”
“Hey kid,” Tony forced out a smile. “I need you to hold still because I’m going to try to seal the wound until the med team arrives, okay?”
“Okay,” you breathed out.
Bucky lifted his hands so that they were hovering above you before Tony pointed his armored finger and began spraying nano particles on the wound. The bleeding immediately slowed. You knew it wasn’t a permanent solution, but it would help you survive. Tony studied the rest of your body that he could see, noting the bruises and new scars that marked your skin.
“Hey,” you caught his attention. “I’m okay… I survived.” You reached up and took a hold of Bucky’s metal hand. “We survived.”
You slept on the quinjet back, body exhausted from everything you’d been put through. You woke up in the med bay. Looking around, you noticed Bucky in a bed beside you.
“We had to drug him in order for him to let us give him a check up and for him to get any rest,” Steve told you, revealing his position on a chair in the corner.
“That’s good,” you said quietly. “He needs it. He hasn’t had very much rest since we were taken… too worried about me.”
“He told us what happened. He feels incredibly guilty… He’ll be blaming himself for awhile.”
“I know.” You looked back at Bucky. “And I know that there will be things that haunt me too… but we’ll work through that together. I know we will.”
“I’m glad you too figured out the whole ‘I love you’ situation. At least that’s in the past.”
“Yeah… it will definitely make dealing with all this crap easier.” You paused, studying Bucky for a moment. “Steve, do you mind moving his bed closer? I want to hold his hand.”
Steve quickly stood up and rolled his bed closer to you. He put down the barrier so that it merged into one large bed. You took his hand and intertwined your fingers into his. You brought his hand up, pressing a kiss to it.
“I’ll leave you two to rest,” Steve said. “I’m glad you guys are back.”
He left and you moved closer to Bucky. You lifted his arm over your shoulders and curled into his side. You craned your neck up and kissed the corner of his mouth.
“I love you,” you whispered.
“I love you too.”
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Tags: @mysticunicorn7 / @intothesoul / @animegirlgeeky / @yep-thats-mee
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐤𝐞𝐚 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐩 | 𝐁.𝐁.
synopsis: but if you knew exactly where to look, and when to show up, you could find the sergeant down a dark alley most nights. it just couldn't be left up to chance.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader, circa tfatws era
A/N: an angsty piece, but domestically. imagine taking part in some self-reflection with your lover inside a furniture store. inbox is open for any requests, link here. xo, mercedes
It wasn’t long after the world fell back into place that word got around James Barnes had gone stateside and moved somewhere east of Red Hook. His existence was like that of a ghost story: ominous in its looming, something to keep children off the streets after dark with, and totally unproven. Life was weird back then; the news threw around buzzwords like “pardon” and “clemency by bylaw,” and for awhile, you couldn’t walk down the street without seeing a stern face curtained under dark hair in one of those constant, interminable ads they rolled on the televisions sitting in storefront windows.
But if you knew exactly where to look, and when to show up, you could find the sergeant down a dark alley most nights. He wasn't entirely impossible to come across. It just couldn't be left up to chance.
“Hey.” You call out to the shadows, boots clicking against the concrete underfoot. The smell of raw garbage was assaulting, and somewhere further down past the piles of wood pallets and cardboard boxes, a pipe was hissing.
“You’re late.” Comes the husky grate of his voice, exasperated but nearly amused, like it was more of a statement than an accusation. You raise a single hand, apologetic.
“I know, I know. Sorry. They kept me late at the diner.”
Bucky cranes his neck forward from where he was resting it back against a brick wall, allowing his features to mold together under the shoddy stream of a singular bulb emitting raw halogen light; he reveals himself.
It is impossible to describe a face in pure elucidation alone. There are physical specs, yes - a short nose, tired eyes, but all those things are just flesh. Conventional characterizations, almost clinical in description. When really, the virtue of a person is found in the conveyance of expression. And it was the way Bucky carried himself that made him someone you’d want to know. Someone you’d want under you, naked, writhing. He looked like he had lived to see the world beyond what one reasonably should, the rise and fall of entire civilizations. He looked like he had lived a very long time, walking through Brooklyn with the familiarity of someone who had built it, and was very tired because of it.
“Ah,” he clicks his tongue, hands folded behind his back and heels rolling away from the wall. “Can’t very well deprive the city of a couple of burgers in good conscience, now could you?”
“Less of the city,” you start, closing the gap between the two of you as he waited. If you were the poetic type, there could probably be a metaphor found in that. “More of just the assholes coming in from Bed-Stuy.”
Bucky laughs out of his nose so hard he lets the exertion shut his own eyes. “You got the list?”
“Oh, yeah.” You step closer, smoothing a hand through the inside of your jacket to find what he was talking about. “Here.”
“Why, thank you.” Bucky says, laying on the gratitude as he takes the slip into his own hand with the sort of casual reverence that seemed nearly offsetting, considering the severity of its contents. Your fingers brushed, and he seemed to almost make a point to pull away.
Bucky Barnes operated like he had a death wish. It had been a few weeks since your paths had crossed, and even fewer since you started working together. Working was a very forward term, together, even more so; you provided names, Bucky took it from there. He was fixated on eradicating the city’s underground dealing of vibranium. There were copycats running amuck, a psychologically tormented deep web of people who played into the market of those who wanted to harness the energy-manipulating powers of the ore and become the next big figure of America. The next big staple, someone they could sell action figures of like Steve Rogers did war bonds. It was all very The Boys.
Here’s another thing about Bucky: probably one of the only things that could lure him out of whatever overpriced brickhouse of New York he lived in was avengement. He refused to live in a world without an ethic code, so much so that he’d be the one to physically change it through acting as judge, jury, and executioner.
Bucky sighs as he leans back against the brick. He stares down at you then, giving a coy little grin. The smirks he melted into were interesting - they were never one definable thing. He could be flirting, but there’d be an underlying sadness to it, or he’d be smiling because he was angry, and yet you could see the foresight in the curl of his lips, like he knew something you didn’t and he wasn’t telling. And considering who he was, exactly - it was probably true at any given moment.
“Thanks for this, seriously.” He glances down over the slip of paper, ripped from a notebook that resided in the top drawer of your bedside dresser and creased over three times in a fold. Bucky seemed to linger on the sight of it, skimming over the potential tip-offs, before tucking it past the zipper that resided over his breast.
There’s a pocket of silence then. Wind shuffles a patch of trash down the concrete, and someone standing out on the street coughs. Bucky looks down the alley instinctively, and the way that doesn’t even make the sleepiness jump from his eyes makes your heart squeeze.
You take another half-step forward, reaching up to fold your warm palm against the bony rise of his cheek. His skin molds against yours, unwavered. “You look so tired.”
Some part of you thinks Bucky is either going to flinch away, or maybe just jerk his being out of reach entirely and call it a night. Disappear like the spooked phantom all those urban legends made him out to be. And yes, for a beat, he does tense. You can feel it in the rigidity of his muscle. But then he all but melts into the cup of your hand. It comes at once - an expansive sigh, the loosening of his neck, his eyes fluttering shut. Everything else about that face seemed inconsequential in comparison to those eyes. A soft blue they smoldered, like flame, sharp and nearly hooded.
“I don’t sleep well.” He murmurs, as if the four letter sentence completely accounted for the past decades of his life. Like using the excuse my car broke down, or I didn't feel like it; uninhibited.
“Get a better mattress.” You smile up at him, running your thumb underneath the crease of his eye and not quite processing you were holding him so.
“I sleep on the floor.”
He says it offhandedly, almost a throwaway line. And that’s how you know he isn’t joking. It’s not that big of a deal, albeit, slightly concerning, yes, but then Bucky’s eyes are flying open, and he’s stiffening out of your hand and blinking hard. “Ha. Kidding.”
There’s a palpable shift in the current. The laughter he produces seems dryer and more forced the longer he keeps it up, before something just gives. “Hey...I should get going.”
“Oh.” You swallow disappointment, clutching your fingers into your palm and relaxing them once, twice, a third time. “Are you sure?”
Occasionally, you and Bucky got food after meeting like this. It was never anything fancy - street-side vendors or fast food lobbies. He showed you Izzy once, and a dark-haired girl with a nametag that read Leah kept glancing your way all night.
“Yeah, I better.” He flexes his jaw, trying to play it all off with another awkward laugh. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him flex his arms out and mouth what the hell is wrong with you to himself. Honestly, it would be comical if the situation was different. He looked about two seconds from punching a dumpster. “Let me to walk you to the subway?”
“Nah,” you smile a little as you cross your arms, incredulously, the breeze picking up the hem of your skirt. Truth be told, you were giving him an easy out; even Bucky himself seemed uncomfortable with the concept. “I think I’ll live. Walking to the subway quite literally might be one of the few safe things I have participated in today.”
“Yeah,” he squints his eyes at you. “You should probably stop getting yourself so involved in this sort of life. Stop meeting dangerous men down alleyways.”
“Oh, yeah.” You nod, playing along. “I’ll stop doing that and you stop being so caught up in the past - fair? Start being honest with your therapist, too, while you’re at it, why don’t you?”
Bucky laughs so suddenly it comes out a cough. He looks to the side then, shaking his head. “Low blow.”
Even though he was cracking jokes, acting casual, things felt off yet, following Bucky’s accidental and impromptu revelation. You purse your lips with a cocked head. “Are you sure you have to go?”
“Yes.” He insists, hiking the neck of his jacket up further as if to hide. “Have a good night, Y/N.”
He pinches your elbow as he sweeps by. It felt like something that could be anything - a wink, a goodbye, a promise.
Admittedly, it takes a while to concoct a plan. A spider’s web that even Bucky would be liable to fall into. It's days later and the call to his phone takes five entire rings before there’s a click to indicate he picked up, and you can imagine the reaction the noise alone must have elicited. Confused, at first, is that my phone? Wondering who called, wondering if he should pick up?
“Hello?” There’s a low whistle coming from somewhere in the background of his line, like he’s on the street and it’s busy.
“Hey,” you start, drawing a piece of hair away from your mouth with a manicured pinkie. “I have a favor to ask.” And then, before he can object preemptively, you go on: “Do you speak Swedish? Come to Ikea with me.”
There’s a crackle of static, wordless hesitance. “Ikea?” He finally breathes, incredulous.
“It’s a furniture place-”
“I know it’s a furniture place.” He articulates, speaking emphatically, like he had very strong feelings about ready-to-assemble amenities. “I just, I don’t know…”
“I need you to come because you can lift anything and you have a truck.” You state, a well-rehearsed argument. “And if you don’t, I’ll have to travel all alone to Park Slope, and I probably won’t get home until dark, and it’s not as if the assemblymen can-”
“Alright.” Bucky interjects. “Fine, I will go with you to Ikea.”
“Good.” You smirk, to nothing, to the air. “Don’t sound too happy about the fact.”
Bucky picks you up from your battered townhouse, like a gentleman, and the two of you drive to the closest store over in Red Hook. You spouted off some bullshit in the car, something about needing a new bed frame - essential enough to be deemed an expeditious task, one that couldn't be put off. He couldn’t have canceled if he wanted to.
There is something fundamentally magical about these sort of conglomerate facilities. At first, all you and Bucky do is walk through all the staged rooms, circling back and forth through the different displays of style and color scheme. They felt like planes of realities existing on ones different to that of your own.
“Wait,” Bucky says at one point, turning to you. You were standing in the middle of a staged kitchen with black shelves and dark accents on the cupboards. “I kind of like this one.”
Bucky looked handsome, in an open leather jacket and clean, light-wash jeans. He had his leather gloves on too, expensive looking things that cinched at the fingertips. You huff, rolling your eyes with a smile. “Yeah, of course you would. There is, like, absolutely no natural light.”
“Well, which one do you like?” He asks, hackles rising like a dog.
“The orange one. The bathroom.”
“You liked the orange bathroom, of course you did.”
You laugh, ducking behind an oversized fridge and out of the kitchen display entirely. Roaming around were other young couples, paired off in male-female counterparts like birds in search of pieces for the nest. And, in a way, they were.
Bucky follows, rapping his knuckles against a prop oven that was made of cardboard. “You were lying when you told me you needed a new bed, weren’t you?”
You linger for a second by a bowl of fake fruit, not meeting his eyes. “What gave it away?”
“Hm,” he pretends to think. “Probably the fact that you’re more interested in fringe pillows and wraparound sofas - that would never even reasonably fit in a New York townhouse, let’s be honest - than bed sets.”
You raise both hands, don’t shoot. “Alright, might have stretched the truth on that. Just a little.”
“Okay,” he relents. “So why are we here?”
You shoot him a pointed look, one part confidential, shy, and another nearly admonishing. A shrug picks up your shoulders. “All this time back in New York, and you don’t even have a bed. You don’t think you deserve a bed. I don’t know, I feel like you’re not letting yourself put roots down. Thought furnishing your place might be a start.”
You’re scared he’s going to be mad - or worse, offended - but to your surprise, Bucky just seems amused. “You charaded me into going to Ikea because you think my life is so sad.”
You laugh to avoid acknowledging that he’s right. The two of you drift through the rest of the store, ending up in a glorified field of endless mattress arrangements. Each one was bare and hiked low against the floor.
You trail through the rows before choosing one at random and, unceremoniously, falling straight back into it like a child making a snow angel. Bucky roams around until he finds you, and for a second you think he’ll just observe the sight, maybe crack a joke, but then he’s shifting on his heels and letting himself collapse onto his back right next to you, close enough to feel, close enough to touch, the mattress bouncing under his weight.
His leg is pressed up against your own, warmth bleeding through the denim in a solid line. High above, a couple of industrial fans hang from the warehouse ceiling. They are absolutely entrancing to watch, some sort of hypnotist’s pocket watch.
The world felt different, laying on that bed next to Bucky. Like some unspoken laws had been broken just by doing so. For the briefest of fantasies you wondered what Bucky looked like sleeping. If he had ever shared a pillow with somebody. What sort of noise would come from his half-open mouth, if he had nightmares about the past and all the tragedy that took place from his own hand.
He tilts his head, cradling his mouth just above your ear so that when he whispered, hot breath curled over the shell of it. You broke out into goosebumps. “There is a family coming up behind us. I can hear their footsteps. Don’t move.”
Neither of you dared to breathe. It was exhilarating, like being in school again and hearing the jingle of keys while smoking in the handicapped stall. If you so much as shifted an inch, you’d be found out and the facade would be over. Though, reasonably, there wasn’t even anything inherently shameful about testing out an Ikea display. Weird, maybe, to be lying on it so like a pair of corpses, but it was the sentiment of the whole ordeal: your presence as a secret only the two of you were in on.
Their footsteps got closer, a child broke out in laughter. Your heart was beating fast. Bucky inhaled once, exhaled, and your mind felt dizzy. His lips left phantom residence like they had branded the side of your temple - you wanted him, wanted one hand cupping the side of your throat and his mouth on your neck. The display bed seemed to rock with how much you wanted, a lone pirate ship in the middle of an ocean of desire. It went right through your gut.
The footsteps fade then; the family loses interest and ambles off. Both Bucky and yourself stay tensed despite the fact, peeled together like a couple of cats. The very bottom of your shirt had ridden up to reveal an inch of bare skin. Slowly then, Bucky’s hand lazes over your own with a sort of purpose that deemed it entirely deliberate. You swear, you could feel the burn of vibranium beneath his leather glove.
“Sometimes, I don’t know why I came back to Brooklyn at all.”
You lay still, as if to not disturb the sudden moment of admission. “Because it’s your home.”
“Maybe once,” he discloses, “but now? Things are different. I’m the guy who never wanted purpose, who ended up with a whole lot of purpose.”
“Purpose isn’t all bad.” You tilt your chin to take in more of his face. If you wanted to, you were close enough to brush your nose against the stubble of his jaw. “I think it keeps people going, a lot of the time, when they have every other reason to give up.”
He reaches over with his free hand to cluck his knuckles against your forehead, like he did the fake oven. “When did they allow waitresses to get so wise, huh?” But the way he says it is endearing, not condescending.
You’re close enough to smell his cologne. Something woodsy laid over strong aftershave. Your eyes meet then, and something in the air seems to swell. If he tried to kiss you, you would let him, and then his eyes drop down to your mouth, and he seems to sway closer, just a breath, like he actually might try. Your mouth feels warm, wet. Your throat, tight. And then his fucking pocket erupts in a burst of noise and viscous, white light.
Bucky flinches, reaching down to pull his phone out before cupping it to his face awkwardly like he was unsure of how to handle the brick. You just watch, as his face drops. He swears then, low, and under his breath.
He lets his hand and the phone attached to it collapse against his chest as he shifts to face you on the bed, eyes apologetic and full of something that looked like regret. “I need to go. I’m sorry, there’s a break in the Walker thing.”
You offer a small smile. “Don’t worry. Go, be a hero.” You lean over then, taking his face into your hand once more before pressing a kiss to the side of his temple. He relaxes into the touch once again, relishes in it even. It feels almost natural to do, like this was your bed, in your place; that Bucky didn’t sleep on a floor in some empty high-rise, alone, and spend his days wandering unfamiliar streets of a place he once knew but didn't, not anymore.
“I’ll call you.” He promises, squeezing your fingers so tight it lifted your hand into the air. There was something bittersweet about the whole affair.
You just grin. “No, you won’t. You hate your phone.”
“You’re right.” He smirks back. “I won’t. But I’ll answer when you call. And then I'll come back, soon, and we can buy all that black furniture for my place. Someone told me I should start putting roots down, and you know, I think they were right.”
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The Princess Buck
Summary: You and your new friend that you may or may not have a crush on, bond over the timeless classic The Princess Bride. [Modern AU]
Pairing: neighbor!Bucky x reader
Warnings: FLUFF, pining and a little swearing
Word Count: 1.5k
A/N: This is my first attempt at writing something, my love for Fall and comfort movies led me here. Please lmk if it is any good, and excuse my silly fic title! 🖤
Autumn always brought you a spark of happiness that no other season could bring about. A slight chill in the air, turning leaves, spooky vibes, and pumpkin spice. The beauty of the season was endless. It also meant cuddling up in blankets with your loyal best boy, Ollie the orange tabby while peacefully binging away timeless movies. That was your plan and you had all the essential ingredients for a night at home including popcorn, candy corn and red vines.
After some internal debate you decided to watch The Princess Bride, one of your favorites. You thought about going with a horror movie to fit the vibe of the season, but comfort and coziness is where your heart led you tonight. All that was left was to push play, but before you had the chance there was a knock at the door.
“Who could that be, Ollie?” you asked the indifferent cat but received no useful response as usual. You got up and looked through the peephole to see your neighbor and new friend Bucky waiting patiently. The two of you formed a fast friendship after you took him in when he got locked out of his apartment a couple months ago. You ran into him as you overheard the end of his call with management and offered to let him hang out at your place until someone could come over to unlock his door. After that afternoon the two of you started to hang out more and more whenever your schedules lined up.
Bucky Barnes was without a doubt one of the sweetest guys you had ever met. After years of meeting men with ill intentions, Bucky felt like a breath of fresh air. He expected nothing and only sought to be your friend. Sure he playfully flirted with you but he also treated you with the utmost respect. In comparison to the fuckboy’s of your generation Bucky felt like a man from another time. It was hard not to crush on Bucky, especially when his personality was all charm and his looks were all tall, dark and broody - just the way you liked it. But you knew dating was tough, and having been out of the game for some time you found yourself weary of seeking out romance. Friendship was what you needed right now, and it seemed like Bucky felt the same way.
“Hey Bucky, what are you doing here? I thought your sister was coming over this weekend,” you say, leaning your shoulder against the door frame.
“Yeah she was going to, but had to cancel last minute because of some big class project that her group needed to finish. I was wondering if you wanted to come over for some pie, because now I have a big apple crumb pie from Mia’s Bakery and no one to share it with,” he says while looking at you sheepishly.
“I will never turn down pie, I’d love to but I was just about to start a movie. You wanna bring it over and watch with me?”
“Yes, that sounds great, I’ll be right over,” he says with a warm smile. If your heart sped up a little at the thought of spending time with Bucky you decide not to worry about it. You chalk it up to the excitement of eating pie and not the tiny little crush you harbored for your neighbor.
“What do you mean you’ve never seen The Princess Bride? It’s a classic that is indisputably amazing,” you say in bewilderment.
“I don’t know what to tell you, I’ve seen a lot of movies but the premise for this one never interested me. A romance between a farm boy and a princess? Talk about cliche,” he scoffs and playfully rolls his eyes.
“That is all you think the movie is about? I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong you are. It’s about so much more than romance. There’s comedy, action, adventure, suspense and so much drama too,” you exclaim. “I’m just gonna let this play and you can see for yourself,” you mutter.
His deep blue eyes like the sea after a storm meet yours and your exasperated heart calms. “I didn’t realize you were so passionate about this movie Y/N, if you say it’s good then I trust you.”
You smile at him, “I’m just a little protective over this movie, Buck. Hopefully you’ll see why.” You grab your pie and snacks and press play. You didn’t see the way his eyes crinkle as he smiled at you watching the film begin.
“I think it’s kind of cute how when Westley says ‘As you wish’ he really means he loves Buttercup. Ugh this movie makes me a hopeless romantic.”
Bucky chuckles at that, “I’m not gonna lie, that scene was pretty cute.”
As the movie progresses you wrap yourself up in your big chenille blanket and move the popcorn bowl that was between the two of you to your coffee table. Being the generous person that you are, you decide to share your blanket with Bucky too. Ollie decided to nap elsewhere and wasn't around to keep you warm so you leaned into Bucky just a little. He gently placed his arm around your shoulder, respectfully and due to the cold of course. The two of you were used to each other even though you hadn’t known each other that long - being close to one another felt normal and comfortable.
Despite his initial hesitance, he was completely engulfed in the movie. By the time the main character Westley is stuck in the Pit of Despair, Bucky sits up and is all nerves as he watches the scene unfold. You gently grab his hand and intertwine your fingers. He lightly squeezes your hand and looks at you. You give him a reassuring smile and he returns the smile right back.
You try not to think about how right this all feels.
“This movie is light and dark at times, and I’m a little worried we might not get a happy ending,” he whispers to you while returning his gaze to the film.
You wrap your free hand around his forearm and pull him a little closer. “I won’t give you any spoilers, but look at the general theme of the movie, Buck. They’ve gotten through a lot already and let’s not forget the true love thing that is also significant,” you whisper back.
He laughs and nods, “Okay, you’re right. Solid points, Buttercup.”
Your heart flutters, but you play it off, “Oh gosh, is that my new nickname? Because if so I’m going to start calling you Humperdinck.”
“Please don’t, he’s literally the worst,” Bucky pouts.
You giggle, “Yeah okay, I won’t do that. Princess Buttercup is a worthy namesake, I’ll take it,” you tease him.
He laughs at that and settles back into the movie - content and happy to have you so close to him.
Bucky knew from the moment he met you that your silly and fun-loving spirit was exactly what he needed. You quickly became the light and levity in his life. On top of that, you were undeniably beautiful. But when he first met you he knew that you weren’t keen on dating, and at the time he thought he felt the same way. He was initially delighted by the ease of your friendship. Not long after however, Bucky found himself feeling emotions he hadn’t ever felt before. He wasn’t willing to voice those feelings at the risk of losing your swiftly budding friendship, but they remained and continued to grow nevertheless. Now with you so close to him, he can’t help but feel like this is it. You’re the one he wants to - “Hey Buck, do you think it’d be weird to have someone give the Mawage speech at my wedding?”
“No, I think that’d be pretty on brand for you.”
“You just get me,” you say with a beaming smile. Bucky chuckles and hopes that with enough luck maybe he can be the one to hear that hilarious speech right next to you at the altar someday. God what is wrong with me, it’s way too soon to be thinking like that. Get it together Barnes, she’s your friend. Your adorable perfect friend.
“So it was good, right? No regrets?” you asked once the movie ended.
“I’m really glad we did this, you were right. I’ll never question your judgement again,” he says as he tilts his head and smiles.
You smile triumphantly, “See to it that you do.”
“Do you think we can have another movie night soon?”
Does Bucky sound eager to spend more time with you? No, you suppose that’s just what friends do. The idea of another cuddly night with him delights you and you try to respond with nonchalance despite your mild excitement, “Um yeah of course, whenever you want. Just let me know.”
“Great, maybe we can watch a horror movie next time.” Truly he’ll take any excuse to have you close and in his arms again.
“Ooh yeah, I love a good scary movie. We can go classic with Halloween or if you’d like to see Westley again we can watch Saw. So many choices,” you say, getting excited.
“Sunday then? I can pick us up some more movie snacks,” he says as he walks towards your door. “Any requests?”
“That works, and maybe a little more pie from Mia’s?” you ask shyly.
“As you wish,” he says sweetly with a twinkle in his eye - and with that he left.
Leaving you and your heart to melt into a puddle.
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Summary: You make him weak. He doesn’t mind.
Pairing: Bucky x You
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: fluff so tooth-rotting you may need to see a dentist, legit the most self-indulgent, feelgood thing I’ve ever written, a very lovesick Bucky
A/N: I’ve been in a writing slump recently, so @alpine-loves-bucky 300 writing challenge came at just the right time (sorry, it won’t let me tag for some reason!) my prompt was “holding hands or comparing hand sizes.” Congrats for 300! ❤️
my masterlist // my ao3
Bucky Barnes had known a lot of girls in his lifetime.
In his younger days, there wasn’t a girl in Brooklyn that he hadn’t attempted to charm, or take out, or invite to a night of dancing with him as her partner.
He hadn’t been a particularly good dancer, but then again, that hadn’t mattered. What had mattered was the girl he held in his arms as he’d flash his devilishly effective grin at as he dipped her just low enough on the dance floor that he had to hold onto her waist a bit tighter, because I can’t drop you, doll, now can I?
The girl would blush, or laugh, and then hold onto him a bit tighter too and by the end of the evening she’d understand why he’d earned the reputation he had.
Bucky Barnes was a flirt.
“…and a damn good one at that.”
You laughed, humor from Steve’s story tugging at your lips as you glanced over at Bucky and asked, “Is that true, Barnes?”
Bucky, after shifting his eyes accusingly at Steve, replied with a hesitant smile, “Maybe then. Not so sure about now, doll.”
You laughed, the joy in it spreading a welcome warmth throughout Bucky’s chest, and said, “I don’t know. I think you’ve still got it. Maybe you just need some practice, Barnes.”
Bucky fought to keep his expression neutral—and his heart from beating straight out of his chest—until you left the room, his eyes glued to your retreating back.
Maybe he was a flirt back in the forties, and maybe he had been responsible for weakening the knees of every girl in Brooklyn, but now the roles had been reversed, because with every glance and laugh and carefree touch you sent his way, his knees were the ones that were being weakened.
Steve chuckled from his spot on the couch. “You’ve got it bad for her, Buck.”
He did. But, he didn’t mind this weakness. In fact, if he could, he would let himself be weakened by you in every second of every day for the rest of his life.
That is, if he could ever stop messing up his chances with you.
His tongue would twist when around you, leaving his words fumbled and his intentions lost, as what would’ve been a charming remark or reply was lost in favor of a blush that would leave his face and neck hot and red.
You’d laugh, and say, “God, Barnes, you’re so cute” and Buck would think to himself that “cute” was not the word he’d like you to think of him as. But that line of thought would be lost too when you’d brush a hand against his arm, the smell of your perfume tickling his nose, and his mind would center on you and how good you felt, smelled, were.
You were beautiful.
And Bucky? He was cute.
Many days would be spent in this fashion: Bucky would be hopelessly lovesick, his attempts at asking you out or making it clear how he felt lost as his mind and body was overwhelmed by you and the affect your very presence had on him.
And you would sigh, and smile, and let it pass in favor of being patient, because if he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready.
But, even you had your limits, and one day you’d had enough.
In the rec room one morning, in the early lights of day you and Bucky had come to spend together before anyone else was up, you’d looked up at him over your bowl of cereal and asked, “Barnes?”
“You wanna go out this Friday?”
And after Barnes had stopped choking on an unfortunately timed swallow of orange juice, he’d said yes with an eagerness he couldn’t find it in him to be embarrassed about.
He took you to Brooklyn.
“Your old stomping grounds?” You’d grinned at him from the passenger seat on your way there.
“I still have some tricks up my sleeve, doll,” he’d replied, thankful beyond measure that for once he’d managed to not come off as a complete and utter idiot.
He took you to a secluded, hole-in-the-wall, Italian restaurant that smelled of oil and the roses that sat in a vase atop your table’s red-and-white checkered tablecloth.
“I feel like I’m in a movie,” you’d gushed to him, the romantic ambiance of it all sending a tingling through your limbs that rivaled the champagne’s effects.
He’d smiled, his words miraculously smooth as he said, “Your face was meant for the big screen.”
His heart jumped as he thought he saw a hint of a blush spread across your cheeks.
I’m beginning to understand why Steve had said you were a flirt.” Then you grinned over your glass’s rim and added, “And a damn good one at that.”
He smiled, the kind of smile that left the corners of his eyes wrinkled and said, “I’m glad you think so.”
“Because you’re the only girl I want to flirt with.”
You were definitely blushing now, and Bucky felt like he was floating, because to think that he had any semblance of the effect on you that you had on him was a miracle in and of itself.
He wanted to affect you. He wanted to flirt with you and for you to flirt with him and he wanted this, all of this. He wanted you.
He wanted you and him to be an us.
His want—his desire—conquered the nerves that left butterflies racketing around in his stomach on the drive back as he let his hand wander across the space between you to find your thigh.
Your skin was warm and soft, and he couldn’t believe he was doing this. Flirting in the restaurant was one thing, but this—you—this was something else entirely. Goddamn, what the hell was he thinking? —
Just as his self-doubt was about to win out, you laid your hand atop his. Your palm rested across the back of his hand, and he didn’t dare breathe and mess this up as your fingers began to trace lazy infinity shapes around his knuckles, and his heart stopped
and started again.
His eyes were wide with an innocent hope that he hadn’t known his youth as you looked over at him and said, “I want you to be the only man that ever flirts with me.”
When he found where you’d taken his voice along with his heart, his words had a rasp to them that you were one-hundred percent responsible for.
He flipped his hand over and took your fingers between his. Your hands fit perfectly together.
“You have yourself a deal, doll.”
A/N: this was legit so fun to write. I love a lovesick, insecure Bucky. Would you read some more drabbles for this if I wrote them? ❤️
Taglist: @fangirllife98 @commonintrest @loki-leufeyson-81 @ajeff855 @rebelfleur22 @alpine-loves-bucky @lovelylokis
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Day 22, Mirror with Bucky Barnes
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Day 22, Mirror with Bucky Barnes
Warning: smut, mirror sex
A/N: MINORS DNI! Thank you to @give-me-a-moose for beta reading. Please LIKE and REBLOG!
KINKTOBER Masterlist Masterlist Permanent Taglist
A heavy cry was ripped from your chest, your heart beating rapidly against your ribs. Your hands gripped the rope which tied you to the bed. Your eyes opened, meeting the dark orbs of your reflection.
You moaned at the sight.
The mirror allowed a perfect view of the bed, giving you a perfect view of everything. Bucky’s head was buried between your legs, his strong arms wrapped tightly around your thighs as he feasted on your pussy.
The sight, coupled with the slurping sounds of him licking up the juices leaking from your clenched walls, along with the feeling of his tongue pushing at your poor hole… the feeling was intense, pushing you to the edge of no return in a matter of moments.
You cried out as the damn burst, the coil snapping and electricity shooting throughout your body. Your legs shook in his grasp, your hips thrusting at the intensity. He moaned at the taste of you as he cleaned you with his tongue, not letting a drip escape.
He kissed his way up your body, pausing to suck on the underside of one of your breasts before tugging on the nipple of the other breast with his teeth. The sharp pain pulled a small squeal from you which soon turned into a needy moan.
He continued his way up your body, sucking bruises into your neck. You turned your head, allowing him more access.
His hands held your thighs, pulling your hips to his. He took his cock in hand, smacking his tip against your clit. A moan left both of you. Moving onto his knees, he pushed himself inside of you. A cry left you as you stretched around him, your hands gripping the rope which tied you to the bed while your back arched.
His hips thrust to meet yours. He leaned over you, his forearms rested on the bed on either side of your head. You could feel his laboured breath against your ear, hear his grunts and he took you apart.
“Keep your eyes open for me, baby, look at that mirror,” Bucky instructed. You hadn’t even realised that you had closed your eyes. You quickly opened them again, eyes meeting those of your reflection. “Watch me fuck you, watch how good you take me.”
The muscles of his back moved deliciously as he thrusted to meet your weak movements. Your hips attempted to add more to the delicious recipe of your entanglement. The beside lap glinted off of Bucky’s metal arm and shined in the mirror. His ass, a perfect peach that you loved to bite, clenched rhythmically as you pushed into you.
It was an intoxicating sight. Watching yourself be taken back by such a man was always something which pushed you quickly to the edge. And this time wasn’t anything different. Your walls quivered and squeezed around him, the fire in your belly burning.
“Come for me, baby,” he told you.
Your walls clenched around him as the burning in your belly spread throughout your body. You cried out as your release took over, unable to keep your eyes on the reflection above you. Bucky moaned loudly in your ear, crying out your name as his cock shot ribbons of cum deep inside of you.
“That’s my good girl,” Bucky praised, pressing a kiss to your temple before pulling out, falling on the bed beside you. His metal fingers stroked your side, “I’ll let you rest for a moment, baby, don’t worry… But I’m not done with you yet.”
Permanent Tag List: @buckyzwhore @tripletstephaniescp @xoxabs88xox @tenaciousperfectionunknown @draw-back-your-bow @sammypotato67 @sskhair @kittenssss-blog @hallecarey1 @thegirlnextdoorssister @waywardwifey
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Marvel Tag List:@stardust-galaxies
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Monster In Me 》 Bucky Barnes x Reader
request: Hi Tay!!!!!!!!!!! It's Carito again!!!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT ONESHOT 😭❤️ I LOVED IT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Here I come again with another Bucky x Fem!Reader oneshot hehe I was listening to the song Monster In Me by Little Mix on repeat and I imagined a whole situation that I loved:
Y/n was a former assassin, assistant and best friend of all Avengers, but a certain super soldier always captivated her even though he pushed her away from his side for fear that his other self would resurface (no matter that the words no longer work in Bucky) and hurt her. The rest of the avengers, seeing how both suffered in silence, decide to end all this and, thanks to Nat and Wanda, Tony invites Little Mix to his party, a band of which the reader is part. Bucky refuses to go as he hates how many people are always at Tony's parties, but is convinced by Steve, Clint, and Sam saying that he could stay an hour and then leave whenever he pleases. The reader sees Bucky and, without further ado, confesses that she always liked him and that she loved him, Bucky did not believe her saying that who could love a monster like him (very beauty and the beast hahahahaha) and leaves her standing in the balcony, not realizing that her friends saw everything just before telling her that it was her turn to sing. Tony introduces them and they begin to sing Monster In Me (reader like Perrie Edwards ✨❤️) and his crush is stunned with everything, her voice, the song, and how silly he felt to reject her knowing that he feels the same. I hope you liked the idea!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you sososooooooo much and kisses from Argentina!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️(@caritobbg)
a/n: ahh! sorry this took me a while! i just wanted to ensure i wrote it how you wanted... i'm sorry if i turned some things around and made scenes before others. this basically flowed right out as soon as i read the request again today for the millionth time. just wanted it to be perfect and i hope it's what you envisioned! thank you so much for the request, doll! 💘
warnings: angst, fluff
summary: Bucky swears you could never love him, for he was a monster too with a dark fear of the old him returning, but you try to convince him otherwise.
word count: 3.7k
**my requests are open!**
When you had joined the Avengers team nearly a year ago now, all you brought with you was a powerful voice and the skills to murder someone. You had been on Tony’s radar six months prior and he would always resurface from missions upon trying to track your location, desperately telling Steve they needed you. He had then pulled Natasha into the mix especially when she heard of the similar fact you also were a vastly-trained Assassin. Your kill streak was nearing the depth of hers and Nat finally gave into Tony’s pestering demands of finding you.
You knew when someone was on the hunt for you. It was a part of your training; always expect the unexpected. So when the Avengers uncovered your location, Iron Man promising that he wasn’t there to hurt you and offer you a deal, you slowly exposed yourself out of the shadows to listen. And standing around him was Black Widow, Captain America, and unknown identity. His eyes were crystal blue, his hair dark and of shorter length. He was broad-shoulders and he donned a vibranium arm.
He was gorgeous.
Within an hour’s time, you were on the quinjet headed to the well-known Avengers tower, where you were then recruited as a best friend, powerful assassin, and now assistant. Nearly three months later, you retired yourself from the life of danger when you were nearly decapitated by the enemy. Somehow, someway, a freak accident introduced itself. And after that, you struggled to bounce back and most of the time had yourself stowed away inside of your chambers at night, only coming out for work-related issues.
But one thing you recognized each time you would cross the corridor floors of the tower, was him. Tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed, Bucky Barnes. You approached him with a kind smile one morning after he arrived back from a training session. The two of you hadn’t spoken hardly any before the encounter. But you were more than enthralled with his outer exterior.
“You know, I don’t think we’ve met officially. I’m Y/N,” You walked over to him as you were fixing yourself a protein shake to take to your gruesome workout. The training helped clear your head and reduce the anxieties you felt due to the accident. Bucky looked up at you, pulling the earbud out of his left ear to stare at you, but he caught your words.
“Bucky,” He responded, dipping his head. When the silence brewed between the two of you and became seemingly awkward, he just left. You would be lying if you said your heart didn’t sting slightly. Did he just not want to associate himself with you? Not to be a complete weirdo, but you did find out things about him. With your time as an assassin, you did have files on nearly every person in this compound at the tip of your fingers. You especially found the information useful when Tony Stark was first seeking you out.
The days and weeks soon pressed forward, Bucky and you continue making direct eye contact. The words were slim and everyone had started to catch on. You found yourself extremely attracted to the former Winter Soldier. Based on his past experience, you figured it could be a simple talking point. Even though you were one of the greatest, part of you still attached itself to the victims. You made as many amends as you could possibly think to, but at the end of the day, it was your job.
The first actual conversation you and Bucky shared was when he heard you singing from the kitchen as you fixed yourself something to eat. Everyone else had left and you were singing lyrics to songs that your band had produced. That’s more than likely the biggest secret, was despite being a world-trained assassin with the smarts to even outdo Tony Stark or Bruce Banner themselves (and that was saying a lot) you used music as an escape.
Little Mix was a project you had started with a few of your best girlfriends. You used it as a source of release when the days grew long. You had always loved to sing, even as a child, your mother insisting you had a given talent to go professional someday. Although the band wasn’t world renown, it gave you time to step away from the limelight of your current state and be someone else.
As you reached the chorus, you turned around in a circle, Bucky staring at you from his spot in the doorway. The wooden spoon was gripped tight in your hand as you blurted the words out, your pasta cooking away on the stove. Bucky continued to listen and his heart suddenly faltered when he heard the high note you released, his blue orbs cast wide in pure adoration.
“You can kill people, grab coffee for the Avengers, be their personal whisperer, and sing? Doll, you have it all, don’t you?” Bucky announced his presence, nearly making you throw the spoon across the floor of the kitchen. Grasping your chest, Bucky’s eyes centered on you as he stifled a laugh. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He promised, walking into the kitchen to take a seat on the barstool in front of you.
“It’s okay,” You laughed, your eyes full of the liveliness that Bucky desperately wanted to have. He had been eyeing you closely from the shadows. He felt though, if he spoke to you, he would only corrupt you. He knew your trained past, how dangerous you could be.
But he also knew he was far more dangerous. Having just recovered from the trigger words HYDRA used on him through his time as the relentless Winter Soldier, he still had the fear creeping along in his mind that somehow, it would work again, which brought him to ask you the dumbest question. One that he should have never resulted to asking, as it turned him away from you that very night.
But just as he was about to form the question, you put some of the red pasta sauce on the wooden spoon and placed it at his lips. “My secret recipe.” You informed him with a subtle wink. Bucky’s eyes crossed slightly as he stared down at the spoon inching closer to his lips. Blowing the steam off of it, he opened his mouth and allowed you to spoon-feed him the delicacy, his eyes growing wide.
“That’s amazing,” He breathed out, causing you to giggle.
“Thanks, my grandmother was a full-blooded Italian.” You chuckled quietly. “I learned a thing or two while staying there throughout the summers.”
Bucky smiled at you, his first genuine smile. With everyone not present in the tower, he found it a touch easier to talk to you. Because if everyone else was around you two, they’d start the relentless teasing.
And if he had to hear Thor tell him one more time, “You mortals really are stupid when it comes to love.” Although we were on the premise that Jane dumped him, Bucky would ask Ayo to disarm his arm again before he strangled Thor’s neck.
“I have a very weird question to ask you…” Bucky finally sighed.
You made yourself some of the pasta, not even asking Bucky if he wanted any. You just fixed a bowl and slid it across the marble with a fork. He glanced down at it, his smile widening before he sighed.
“Ask away,” You ushered him. Bucky inhaled deeply, beginning to twirl a strand of pasta nervously around his fork.
“Do you know the Winter Soldier’s trigger words?” He asked in a rather rushed tone.
It made your eyebrows furrow as you put a forkful of the pasta into your mouth, chewing gently.
Of course, you did. You were made to learn the trigger words, in the horrible case you came across and had to awaken one.
After you swallowed, a few moments of silence had passed and the air became tension-filled.
“Yes, I do know them.” You finally answered him, hands pressing on the counter making you lean forward. “But I never had to use them, thankfully.” You added moments later.
Bucky bit at his lower lip. That made him nervous as hell.
You then decided to ask him. “But they don’t work on you anymore, right?”
Bucky gazed up at you. Although while he was in Wakanda he was essentially broken free from the holds the words had on him… he still had doubts. And the anxiety would eat him alive if he dwelled on it further.
“I’m a monster, Y/N,” He sighed, pushing the food back away from him. “Someone who shouldn’t even be sitting here having this conversation with you.” With that, he stood upright and disappeared practically into thin air. You could hear his feet stepping across the floors until the door slammed shut with a loud thud, making you flinch.
You were so in love with him, you wanted nothing more than to be with him. You wanted to comfort him, console him, help him. But if he was going to shut you out, what could you do?
And that started the lingering and agonizing next few weeks, the days that most of the team easily caught onto. They would watch as you and Bucky stole heart-shattering glances at the other. You wanted to remind him that he in fact wasn’t a monster. He was a good person who had recovered from his demons, but even you had trouble fighting your own sometimes.
“Hey, kid, you have a band, right?” Tony asked you when he walked inside of your office space. You pulled yourself out of your thoughts, your hands scribbling lyrics onto a notepad as you took a small break from work. Your eyebrows knitted together.
“How did you know about that?” You asked him to which Tony laughed.
“Word travels… And I may have found a song or two. You’ve got an amazing voice.” He chuckled. “Pepper won’t stop listening to DNA.”
You then turned serious. “Again, how did you find out I was in a band?” You pondered.
He rolled his eyes, his brown orbs softening. “Natasha and Wanda actually found out while snooping the other day.” He explained.
Of course, Nat and Wanda would do that.
You giggled quietly, shaking your head. “Alright then, what’s the request, Mr. Stark?” You pushed yourself back from your seat. Tony inhaled deeply with his arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m hosting a party next weekend. Could you and the girls perform? I figured it would give you a chance to showcase your talent to everyone, all the while enjoying a party.” He winked, wiggling his eyebrows. You laughed. You would have to make calls to the girls and tell them to get ready, but it was possible.
“Sure,” You agreed, which made Tony grin.
“Perfect. The party is set for next Saturday night. Is that okay?”
You nodded quickly. It gave you enough time.
So as the week endured further, you somehow had been replaying Bucky’s words over and over in your mind and lyrics continued to pour from your thoughts. One night you found yourself on a late-night FaceTime call with the other girls singing the developed lyrics. Their eyes were wide, mouths falling open.
“Y/N, that is absolutely gorgeous… What caused you to write that?” Your bandmate asked you as you inhaled deeply.
“I’m in love with a guy who thinks he’s an absolute monster…” You trailed, making them all stare at you with wide eyes. “But little does he know, there’s a monster in me, too.” You referenced your time as a deadly Assassin, usually being transformed into a vital weapon.
“Which is why we’re performing Monster In Me at Tony Stark’s party this weekend.” The girls all stared at you in pure shock.
“Tony freaking Stark?!” She exclaimed, making you giggle.
“Get ready, metal boy. You’re coming to the party this weekend.” Tony patted Bucky on the shoulders to which he glared.
“Hell no,” Bucky retorted instantly.
“Hell yes,” Clint announced his presence soon after with Steve and Sam joining in shortly after. Bucky glared at the group of four, his eyes squinting, mainly staring at Steve.
“Look, Buck,” He sighed. “We know you hate these parties, but you’ve been acting awfully weird the last few weeks,” Steve said to his best friend.
“We already know it’s girl trouble.” Sam chimed in, Clint laughing.
“Yeah, your pinning after Y/N is starting to show.”
Tony clapped his hands together. “So get your dancing shoes on, Barnes.”
Bucky stood up abruptly and shook his head again.
“No!” He exclaimed. “There are nearly a thousand people at your parties, Tony. No way in hell am I sitting through that.” He grumbled. Just as he was about to pass Steve, the blonde reached out and grasped his shoulder.
“Just stay for an hour. You can leave after that. Bucky, I’m worried about you.” Steve softened his eyes on the dark-haired man standing before him.
With one huff, Bucky pushed Steve’s hand off of his shoulder.
“I’m going to complain the entire time.” He pointed at Steve, disappearing upstairs.
The group of men looked at each other before Sam cleared his throat. “Are you guys sure Nat and Wanda know what they’re doing?” He asked, referencing the two being in the same room together. Tony shrugged his shoulders.
“I just invited Y/N’s band. If it doesn’t work, then I’m not sure anymore.”
Clint laughed. “You can sense the tension between them every time they’re in the same room. Makes me just want to scream at them.”
All the boys chuckled, Steve sighing.
“Bucky just needs reassurance. That’s his biggest issue right now.”
The night of the party soon came around. Your dear friends from the band were enthralled with the Avengers tower where the party was being held. They had never attended a bash hosted by the king of parties himself, Tony Stark. So this was an absolute first. You were wearing a dazzling silver dress that picked up the lights hanging from the ceiling. Your nerves were bundled as you sipped the expensive champagne, deciding you needed a breath of fresh air. There were so many people here, you weren’t too sure if this was such a good idea. But each time you tried to rethink the situation, Wanda and Nat were right at your ear, telling you otherwise.
Part of you wanted to just scream to Bucky’s face how in love you were with him before this show began. And you were about to get exactly what you wished for when you walked towards the balcony to see Bucky perched at the railing, a drink nestled in his hand. He looked amazing. He had spent the majority of his night thus far complaining to Steve and the others, just as he promised. He kept checking his wristwatch, counting down the seconds for when the hour of torture would be up.
Currently, he had fifteen minutes.
You opened the sliding glass door, Bucky’s ears catching the sound immediately.
He was wearing a black suit, his short hair pushed back. He was clenching his right hand around the glass, closing his eyes tightly as he inhaled the city’s air.
“Bucky?” You called out to him. As soon as your voice drifted through his ears, his heart tightened. He chose to ignore you. No matter how much he had fallen in love with you over the last few months, he couldn’t bring himself to do this to you.
“You’re wasting your time.” He announced with a cruel attitude lacing his voice. Your eyebrows knitted automatically, your own heart feeling the sting of his words.
“Look, I don’t know what happened with you or us for that matter,” You inhaled deeply. “But I’ve given you no reason at all to shut me out like you have.”
You walked closer and found yourself leaning against the railing beside him. Bucky glared at you from the corner of his eye, rolling them soon after as he took another long sip.
“I told you,” He exhaled sharply. “I’m a monster.”
You shook your head and reached out to land your hand on his shoulder, to which he instantly jerked away.
“Bucky, I’m in love with you! And I know you feel the exact same way, so can we stop this game?” You cried out to him, tears threatening to spill. “I didn’t expect to find myself this attached to you, but here I am!”
Bucky finally turned his body so he was facing you.
“Then stop loving me. I stopped loving you weeks ago.” He lied right through his teeth and that one hurt.
You shook your head. “You don’t mean that.” You whispered, Bucky scoffing.
“I mean every single word of it. You’re wasting your time.” He informed you yet again, but you couldn’t bear to watch him do this. And little did either of you know, a show was beginning to form from inside of the tower. Nat, Wanda, Steve, Tony, Sam, and everyone else were staring at you two lashing out with one another.
Bucky stared down at his watch.
“Thankfully, I don’t have but ten minutes left of this shit show.” He concluded, downing the rest of the alcohol before trudging inside.
You reached for him another time, staring into his eyes just before he crossed the threshold. “Bucky, you say there’s a monster in you, but there’s not. And if there was, I love him.” You shuddered. Bucky looked down at your hand with a despicable scoff.
“How can you?” He questioned. “You’re stupid to do so.”
He snatched himself away from you and sauntered inside, leaving you stranded on the balcony with your hands clutching your chest.
Tears stung your eyes, making you gulp. Shaking your head, you walked back inside and was soon pulled over by Tony who informed you that your band was up next. Wiping your eyes, you were soon nestled onstage with your bandmates. The four of you stood centered on the stage.
“Hi, everyone,” You smiled through a broken grin, trying to put on your best face. “I just want to say thank you to Tony Stark for having us perform tonight. Let’s give it up for our host!” You announced, clapping. Soon everyone joined in and applauded Tony who raised his glass of champagne, a hand snaked around Pepper’s waist.
“For our song choice, I actually wrote this last week. A lot of things have been going on in my life, particularly the love side of things.” When the words fell from your lips, Bucky has nestled in the corner away from everyone. He could see you, but you couldn’t see him.
“This one is called Monster In Me. I hope you guys enjoy it.” You wiggled your fingers as the music started.
“Beautiful creatures, you and me
Every time that we touch, it's dangerous
This spark is more than chemistry
Beautiful liars, drowning deep
Every night we fight and it's hot like hell
But it feels like Heaven between the sheets,” You sang aloud, the words falling effortlessly from your lips as the girls sang beside you. Bucky’s head picked up at the words, allowing the lyrics to drift through his mind as he downed another drink. No buzz was in sight for the night for him.
“Every time we let go
I scream and I call for more.” That line felt especially true with the events that occurred nearly ten minutes ago. Bucky glanced down at his watch. His dreadful hour was finally up. He pushed himself out of the chair and made his way towards the door when you caught the sight of him, making your heart cry out to him.
Why don't we kill each other slowly?
What can I say? Baby, what can I do?
The monster in me loves the monster in you
Squeeze a little tighter 'til we can't breathe
What can I say, baby, what can I do?
The monster in me loves the monster in you.” You sang the chorus with everything your heart held. Just as Bucky was about to open the door, the end of the chorus rang through his ears. “The monster in me loves the monster in you”. He refrained from exiting, his eyes slowly moving to fall onto you.
He stopped himself from leaving, turning himself completely around so he was facing you.
As the song continued, you put your every ounce of effort into it, your feelings and heart displayed for everyone to see. The girls mainly allowed this to be your song, knowing full well who this was made for. And once the music cut out, everyone clapped and cheered. Bucky nearly had tears in his eyes to which he blinked away.
He had found himself inching closer back to the stage, but when he noticed you coming, he headed straight for the balcony. You followed him closely and once you had made it out into the open, the doors shut behind you.
Without uttering a single word to you, Bucky rushed over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in. His lips crashed against yours in a fervent kiss, one that was desperately needed between the two of you. You melted completely against him as your fingers tangled through his dark locks, heaving out a breathless sigh once you parted.
“I’m such an idiot,” Bucky announced, his hands resting on your hips as he held you close to him. Your foreheads pressed together, another wave of passion flooding over the two of you as you initiated the second kiss. Bucky hugged you as close as he could get you to him, the feeling of your body pressing against his making him melt. He had craved this moment for the last few months and once that dreaded night occurred when he was petrified of the monster being awakened in his body, it was all he thought about.
“Bucky, I love you.” You told him again, holding his hands while they cupped your cheeks.
“I love you too, doll. Can we start over?” He asked you to which you gladly nodded your head.
“I’d love that.” You said with a quick breath, his lips pressing against your forehead.
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to have and to hold | bucky barnes one-shot
summary: it's the night after your wedding, and bucky swore he'd never hurt you. but the winter soldier never made such a vow.
word count: 2.6K
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, bucky & reader pov (the dividers indicate a pov shift!); cw: choking
There's something about these dark hours of the night that makes Bucky look... softer.
Maybe it is the way he is breathing, the gentle slope of his chest. How his mouth is not entirely closed, but open, just slightly, enough that his every exhale sends shivers down the length of your spine. In sleep, the demons that hang around your husband's shoulders like a heavy fog disappear, and the only shadows on his face are those created by the moonlight slanting over his cheekbone, bathing him in its pearlescent glow.
Your husband. How strange those words feel in your mind, your mouth. How foreign, yet familiar. Like you've lived your whole life with them on the tip of your tongue.
You lift a hand and drag a single finger up the curve of Bucky's shoulder, trace the corded muscle beneath. He is lovely—perhaps the loveliest thing you've ever seen—and all yours.
With your palm now pressed flat against Bucky's chest, you follow the line made by your finger with your lips. Against yours, his skin is warm and soft, dry but for the sheen of sweat along his collarbone. Unfettered proof of your newly consummated love.
If heaven were a person, you think, Bucky would be that person. If the sun had arms, you would be the one they held.
"Bucky." Your voice comes out in a murmur, a breeze in the night. Lips by his ear. "Wake up, my love."
At his silence, you drag your lips over to his neck. "Bucky," you hum against his skin, pressing a chaste kiss to the column of his throat. "Darling, open your eyes."
"Bucky." A kiss to his temple, feather-light and quick.
"Bucky." On each of his eyelids, until they begin to flutter.
"Bucky." On the center of his chest, right over his heart, until yours aches with love for him.
It is when your lips brush against his own that Bucky finally wakes—but it's not him, not really. You know it as soon as he opens his eyes.
You know it in the way he doesn't kiss you back, but jerks away instead, as though your touch is poison. In the breathing which has lost its steadiness, and now comes short and fast. In his shadow that looms overhead, clothing you in darkness.
Most of all, you know it in the hands that wrap around your neck, squeezing without remorse. One of metal, one of flesh.
You don't know which one hurts more.
"Bucky." Your voice is no longer a murmur, but a gasp, choked and constrained. Teeth sliding against your tongue, you draw blood; it blooms in your mouth like a rotten flower, acrid and metallic. "You're—you're hurting me."
If Bucky hears your cry, he doesn't acknowledge it. It is startling, really, how he seems to stare through you rather than at you, looking but not seeing.
His grip on your neck tightens.
Again, your plea goes unanswered, but in the blankness of your husband's stare you swear you spy a flash of new feeling. An emotion you cannot name.
Though you are caged between his legs, helpless beneath him, the realization is striking: he is just as vulnerable as you.
But you know how to control the Winter Soldier. Bucky taught you.
A single word, which you say now, with the last breath you have before your eyes roll back and the world around you seeps into darkness.
Bucky's hands still around your neck.
How eerily calm he'd been, just a moment before. Now, shaking, tremors rippling through his body like a wave crashes along the shore, seafoam quivering on its surface. If he concentrates, closes his eyes, he swears he can taste saltwater—but no, no, that's just blood. Just blood. Iron filaments coating his tongue.
Now it is you who has gone quiet.
You are spread out beneath him, head bent at a painful angle, only half of it on your pillow. Arms crossed over your chest, you look as though you are already dead; as though, if Bucky set you out to sea, you'd sink instead of float.
You look dead, and for a moment, Bucky thinks you are.
And then that moment is over, and you inhale, and he exhales, and the world should keep on spinning but it can't, it won't, it probably never will again, because he hurt you.
Around your neck is a bruise, yellows suffusing into purples, circling your skin like a necklace though it is nowhere near as dainty.
A bruise he made.
His name from your lips is a rasp, but it is gentle, and Bucky hates that it is. He hates that, despite what he has done to you, through slow-blinking eyes you still look at him as though there is nothing else in the world you'd rather see.
You reach for the hand that is still on your neck—why are his hands still on your neck?—and Bucky wrenches himself away from you as though he has been shot, scrambling off the bed and for the door. Before he leaves, he turns around to meet your eyes, now wide and glassy, and a new kind of hatred courses through his veins.
Bucky hates himself.
There is no one he hates more than himself, no one he wishes pain upon more than himself. On those hands, which have hurt you in unimaginable ways, which cannot even bring themselves to comfort you after the fact.
The very hands which, just that morning, had slipped a ring on your finger. Promising eternal love.
How pathetic he is.
And so he runs.
You find him on a curb a few blocks away from your apartment building, hunched and dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts. Hands pressed against his temples, body rocking back and forth under the light of the streetlamp, he looks so small, so helpless.
You've never seen him like this before, and your heart clenches at the sight.
With silent steps, you move closer to him, your stance like that of one approaching a wild animal: shoulders curved inward and hand outstretched, to show you can be trusted, to indicate that you are unafraid. Because, no matter what Bucky does, you know in your heart you will never be afraid of him.
And then you step on a leaf.
Bucky hears the sound before you do—a dry crack that echoes through the empty street—and his head snaps up, eyes widening at the sight of you. You, standing in the middle of the road, wearing nothing but your nightgown, silver wedding band glinting beneath the starlight.
And the bruise.
That damn bruise.
You lift your hands up on instinct to cover it, wrap your fingers around your neck, but by the way Bucky is breathing you know he's already seen it. It's worse now than it was a few moments ago, black and blue and oh so painful.
But nothing hurts as much as the panicked expression on your husband's face, the lines of pure self-loathing creasing his forehead.
Nothing will ever hurt as much as the way he gets up to run from you, for the second time that night.
Bucky doesn't make it very far before you stop him, in a voice so hoarse it is almost a wheeze, cracked and broken and thick with feeling.
You watch as his body goes rigid. He's not looking at you, but the pained flex of his hand at his side, nails biting into his palm, tells you he is listening. The whir of his metal arm as he tries and fails to hold it still encourages you to continue.
And so you do.
You step closer to him until he is but a few inches away, until you can see the muscle in his jaw shift. You hold this jaw in your hand, now, cup his face in your palm. Despite himself, Bucky leans into your touch, and you inwardly smile at his receptiveness.
If he is letting you hold him, maybe he will let you love him, too.
"James," you murmur, cool breath fanning his face, and Bucky's lashes flutter shut at the sensation. "Why are you running away from me?"
He doesn't respond.
"James..." your words are naught but a whisper now. Hand on the side of his neck, you can feel your husband's pulse—it flitters beneath your fingertips like a hummingbird, rapid and feverish, and you've never wanted to hold a person's heart in your hands more than you do at this moment, if only so you can calm him, so you can comfort him.
But all you can do is touch him, and that's okay, too.
When your lips meet his, it starts off slow. A simple brush of mouths—you don't expect him to kiss you back—but then you're drowning, and he's drowning, and each of you are pulling the other under and each of you are keeping the other afloat. Lips turn to tongues, to teeth, to hands on hair on skin, and then you're nipping at his bottom lip and he's moaning into your mouth—
And then he's backing away from you for the third time that night, and you want to cry you're so sick of it, of him running away, of him leaving you when you need him the most. And God, aren't your lips cold now? Cold, so cold. You've never been so cold.
"I—I can't do this," he says, voice frantic and hollow and the slightest bit husky from your kiss. He runs a hand through his hair and you're reminded of the day you met him, when he did it all the time, an anxious habit. Now, the strands are shorter and his fingers slip through them like water; he's grasping at nothing. "We can't do this—"
"Why?" You cry out, equally desperate. Desperate for answers, for his hands back on your skin, for him. "Tell me why, Bucky—"
"Because I hurt you!"
His voice is loud, too loud, and despite yourself, you flinch. It's small—a blink-and-you-miss-it jerk of the head—but you instantly regret it.
Bucky's eyes flash with pain; you can practically see the guilt scrawled across his features.
When he backs away from you, you want to sob and never come up for air.
"You're afraid of me," he whispers, so soft you almost don't hear it. "Afraid I'll... hurt you again."
You couldn't shake your head faster if you tried. "No, Bucky, God no, that's not it at all—"
"I won't. I promise." Bucky blurts out the words so forcefully it reminds you of a child apologizing for fear of punishment; his eyes, so wide and scared. "Never again."
The decisive nature of his tone, the absoluteness of it, makes you do a double take. "I—what do you mean?" You ask him, mouth curving into an unsettled frown. "What does that mean?"
Bucky looks at you, half hidden in the darkness, and you don't need him to say the answer to know it.
And to think, just that morning he had held you, cradled your head against his chest while you danced and whispered sweet nothings in your ear.
Now, he is leaving.
He doesn't want to hurt you again.
He never wanted to hurt you in the first place, especially not now, when the two of you should be sleeping, curled up in the warmth of each other's bodies and dreaming about the life you'll spend together. Your first night as a married couple, and he'd ruined it.
He ruins everything.
Bucky doesn't want to hurt you by leaving, but isn't this better, he thinks, than staying? Imagine how much damage he could cause if he chose his selfishness over your safety—because being with you would be selfish, because his whole body begs for it—how many more bruises would pepper your skin.
How often would you wake up in the morning to his hands around your neck?
Bucky knows all of this; and yet, when you look at him through tear-filled eyes, he can't bring himself to walk away.
"So this is it?" You ask in a trembling voice. Your bottom lip wobbles and the urge to take it between his teeth is so strong it is almost tangible, but touching you is the last thing he should be thinking about. "Not even a night, and you're already running away?"
Bucky turns his head; he can't bear to meet your eyes.
"We're married, Bucky," you say, the word catching in your throat. Bucky hears you cough, swallow it down like mouthwash. When you speak again, your voice is hushed. "You don't get to just—just walk away like this.
"Don't you love me?"
At this, Bucky's eyes flash to yours, and it feels as if all the blood has been drained from his veins. "What?" He asks, incredulous. Takes a step closer to you without thinking, as though by being nearer the depth of his love might be understood. "I do. Of course I do. I—"
"Then why are you leaving me?"
"I just need some time—"
"But you promised!" You're crying now, silent tears streaming down your face in torrents, and Bucky wants nothing more than to wipe them away. To hold you close. His arms burn with the weight of not being able to touch you. "You promised me, Bucky. 'Til death do us part."
He had, hadn't he? But he'd promised so many things.
Bucky is quiet for a long moment. In the distance, he can hear the breeze rustling through the trees, the faint chirping of birds. It's almost dawn, now, the sun beginning to poke through the horizon. Sky fading from black to a hazy blue. Then:
"I promised not to hurt you. And I broke that, didn't I?"
He doesn't expect his voice to shake as much as it does, but what's even more surprising is how close you've gotten; how, if he were to shift his head just a little, you'd probably bump noses. So close he can smell himself on your skin.
"Bucky..." Your eyes, still wet, have grown soft. Bucky can see his reflection in them and is tempted to look away, but you're stubborn; you grasp his chin between your fingers and look into his own like if you were to look away you might lose him. And maybe you would, but it would only be his fault. Not yours. Never yours.
"It wasn't you," you say to him, thumb stroking the stubbled skin of his jaw. "You would never hurt me, Bucky. It wasn't you."
But if it wasn't him, who made the bruise on your skin? The one he traces now, with delicate fingers, as though the very hands that brought it into existence can also take it away.
"None of it was you," you say again, and how badly he wants to believe you. "You didn't break your promise to me, Bucky, but you will if you leave now. And if I blamed you for this—" you touch the hand on your neck and lace your fingers through his own— "I will have broken my promise to you.
"For better or for worse, Bucky."
Bucky lets out a shuddering breath and rests his forehead against yours, allows his eyes to close for a moment. The taste of you lingering on his tongue.
And when you say please, my love, don't give up on me, how can he possibly deny you?
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