Okay, so if it’s all right with you I’m doing two different ones for this. I’m going to do, “I’m your friend, of course I care!” with Bucky, and then the other one with Stucky! So keep an eye out for the second one! You are amazing, thank you so much for that compliment! All I really want to do is make others happy and give them a little escape with my writing, so I’m glad I’m able to do that for you, and I hope you enjoyed the Tony fic. <3
TW: Mentions of an abusive relationship
There were times when you asked yourself the same question. Why did you allow yourself to put up with this behavior? After all, before your mother had passed away, she had tried to instill in you to never settle for less than what you deserved. So deep down inside, is this what you believed what you deserved?
Or did you think that you were unworthy of what you wanted?
You should have known that he would have questions when you knocked on his door in the dead of night, your hair a mess, tears running down your face with a red mark on your cheek.
After the initial shock, Bucky’s face hardened. “I’m gonna kill them.” He said in a gruff voice that would make even the weakest of men cower against a wall.
“That’ll make it worse, Buck … Can I please come in?” You begged, not even caring how pathetic you sounded. You needed him.
Something in your voice must have made him change his mind. You watched as he softened at your words, stepping aside and letting you enter his apartment.
“Where’s Steve?” You asked, brushing your tears aside and wincing when you touched the red mark on your face.
“Probably trying to enlist again.” He replied, placing his hand on the small of your back, the touch so gentle and so opposite of the one you had gotten earlier. “Come on, you need to put something on that.”
You let him lead you over to the counter where without a second’s hesitation, he lifted you into the air and placed you onto it, taking some meat from where it was thawing out on top of the oven and wrapping it in a towel before placing it on your cheek.
You flinched from the cold, and Bucky mumbled an apology, reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. You could almost cry at how tender he was being. No one had ever been as soft with you as Bucky Barnes, and it was such a harsh reminder of the treatment you knew you should be given versus the treatment you settled for. “Why do you let them do this to you, doll?” Bucky almost pleaded as if he knew where your thoughts were.
“I don’t know.” You whispered, unable to look him in the eyes.
“I’m not letting you go back there.” He replied, his tone tense once more.
“Buck … I have to. You know that. They just lost their temper is all. They didn’t mean-”
Bucky’s hand tightened in your own. “They didn’t mean to? For the third time? Stop kidding yourself.”
His harsh statement triggered your own anger, anger at your partner, anger at Bucky, and anger at yourself for allowing this to keep happening over and over and falling into the same trap. “Stop telling me what to do, Barnes. I didn’t come here to be judged. Not by the likes of someone that has a different girl on his arm every weekend.”
He put down the cold meat and crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw tense. “Then why did you come here?” He asked.
You knew why you had come here. It was the only place in all of Brooklyn that you felt safe. You knew that nothing was ever going to harm you if Bucky Barnes was around. On top of that, no one made you feel as happy as him either, no one could bring a smile to your face and make you forget your problems as fast as him. That was what you had wanted, and that was what you had needed … but tonight Bucky didn’t seem to understand that. “Because! I thought maybe being around you might make me feel a little bit better. That was clearly my mistake because you don’t care! All you care about is trying to make me feel bad about how pathetic I am for going back to them every time!” You yelled.
“I’m your friend! Of course I care!” Bucky yelled right back.
And there it was, the sting you always got in your chest at that word when referring to Bucky. You hated every moment that you were reminded of it, because Bucky Barnes was your friend.
“Exactly.” You said, sliding down from the counter and pushing him aside, grabbing for your purse you had left by the door. “You’re my friend. Not my husband, not my boyfriend. Which means you don’t have any control over my life.” You said, reaching for the doorknob.
Bucky’s hand rested on top of yours, stopping you. You could feel his body pressed up against your back, his chest still heaving with his anger. “What if I wanted to change that?”
Those were words you had wanted to hear for so long. You had waited years, longer than you had ever cared to admit, for him to express that he felt the same way you did, and maybe he had all along.
You would never know.
“Then you should have said something before you enlisted, Barnes. I can’t be one of those women waiting and praying for you to come home.” You let out a little sob as you felt him take a step away, but couldn’t bare to turn around and look at him. “It would hurt worse to let myself love you completely and lose you than to never know what it would be like at all.” You whispered through your tears, not waiting for his response, you hurried out the door.
The problem with your words was you already did love him with everything you had, but you couldn’t let him go off into War with that knowledge.