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#bucky barnes one shot
buckys-black-dress · 2 days ago
Text
see through
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚  ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
a/n: i dont have much to say other than that it's 1 am and i needed to get this out of my system. chapter 4 of play the game is underway, i promise. also, there will be a pov switch in this fic!
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. = POV change!
wc: 4.1k words
[ neighbor!bucky barnes x fem!reader ]
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚  ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
-
Every Friday night, without fail, you saw the light filter into your apartment.
Notice how you said night?
Yeah, it was almost two in the morning, by the way.
And why was there light coming through the chiffon curtains you had hanging on the rod above your window?
(Great choice on your part, by the way.)
Well, because of your neighbor.
You've seen him a few times, actually. Usually on the street outside your buildings, or just out and about. Never spoke to him, though. He was quiet, kept to himself. Didn't seem very friendly or willing to exchange a greeting if he ever saw you.
But you never took it personally. Maybe he was having a bad day. Every time you saw him.
But that's besides the point. The point right now is that you can see the lights blaring in your room. From the apartment across from yours.
Should it even be possible for light to travel that far? I mean, we don't even live in the same building. You think to yourself as you watch the colors dance in the dark.
You debate getting up and yelling out your window to tell him to shut that shit off or to invest in some blackout curtains. You were tired of sacrificing your sleep every week.
But then you decided against it, because you quite frankly could not be bothered to get up from the warmth of your bed. You'd tough it out for the night, but the next time you saw him, you'd have a few words for him.
-
The next morning, it was almost ten when you woke up. You didn't have your shift at the coffee shop you worked at until three, so you took your time in making your way out of bed.
You noticed the curtains of your neighbor's apartment were still open, but you could see his figure moving across the room. He was clearly on the phone with someone, and he didn't look too happy. You wondered what could have him so angry at such an early time of the morning. He seemed like a person who could use someone to talk to, someone who he could vent to.
But before you let your thoughts get ahead of you, you turn away from the window, heading back into your kitchen to eat breakfast and get ready for the long day ahead of you.
-
"Hi, what can I get started for you today?" You ask as brightly as you can muster at the moment. You were halfway through your shift, another three hours until close.
"Uh, just a large black coffee." The gruff voice says, and it takes you a second until you look up and look closely.
It was him.
"O-okay, that'll be $3.27." You say, and he hands you a five dollar note before grumbling,
"Keep the change."
"Thanks, and your name?"
He gives you a look that's asking, 'what the fuck do you need my name for?'
"For the order." You try and salvage your dignity, because it feels like the stare shrunk you to a speck of dust.
"James."
That's all he all but growls before turning back to find a seat.
As your coworker takes over the cash register, you grab the biggest cup and fill it with his desired coffee.
You try to not think about it too much, but the anxiety you feel rising up inside you and just calling his name to give him his coffee feels absolutely ridiculous.
"Are you just gonna stare at the cup or give it to the customer?" The voice of your coworker, Jenna, rings in your ears and you look up at her, snapping out of the trance you were in.
"Sorry, I'm just a little out of it today, I guess."
"Everything alright?" She asks, and you nod.
"I'm fine, it's just... that's my neighbor." You nod your head towards where James is sat, in the corner by the window as he watches the raindrops run down the expanse of the glass.
"The one who doesn't let you sleep?"
"Yeah, but I don't think he'd take it too kindly if I tell him about that. He seems to have a lot on his own plate anyways," You explain, and she just nods.
"Well, that sucks, but you still need ta' give the guy his coffee." Jenna smiles and walks back to what she was doing before.
You gently slide out from your spot behind the counter and walk to his table.
"Here's your coffee, James. Enjoy, and- uh, let me know if you'd like anything else." You tell him while placing the steaming cup in front of him.
He murmurs a thank you that you barely catch, but you don't quite have the time to sit and wait for more of a reaction.
For the next several hours, James sits right where he was. He doesn't do anything in particular, either. He just watches outside, as the rain continues to pelt down on New York City, and as people come and go from where they were.
Eventually, about an hour left until close, you offer another cup of coffee.
"Do you want a refill? On the house." You ask gently, waiting to see if you'll get brushed off again.
"Uh... are you allowed to do stuff like that?" He asks, and you're a bit taken aback at the sudden concern.
"I don't think you should worry yourself too much, James. Free coffee's free coffee." You smile lightly, and grab the cup before filling it up without his confirmation. You could tell he wanted to say yes but didn't want to seem rude.
"You didn't have to..." He grumbles, and you simply shake your head.
"I know, but you've been here a while, and what kind of employee would I be if I let a customer sit here without any sustenance?" Your lips ply into a tiny smirk, trying to get him to loosen up a bit.
He seems so guarded, defensive. Like any moment, he's ready to run if need be, you inspect to yourself.
"You'd just be a regular employee, Y/N." He says, but the way he says your name makes a shiver run down your spine; and you can't tell if it's a good or bad one.
You unconsciously look down at your name tag, pinned to your black apron that's branded with the café's logo.
"Well, I felt like being nice. I hope you can deal." Your voice comes out short, but he knows you mean no harm.
As you walk back to the counter, you see a small smile playing on his lips, but he doesn't allow it to manifest on his face. You take that as a small victory for your last hour of work.
(bucky's pov).・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
The girl who works at this café is annoying.
But she's got a nice smile. And she's nice to me, Bucky thinks to himself.
He sips on the new coffee you'd just poured for him, without his consent, he thinks bitterly.
But it was a nice gesture.
Why can't you just take a nice gesture?
Because your brain's been scrambled eggs for 70 years. You don't know what to think about anything these days.
He watches you fiddle with the espresso maker, cleaning it with a rag, which you then dip into a bucket.
You look extremely familiar to him, but he can't exactly pin where he's seen you before.
Bucky closes his eyes for a moment, trying to recall where he'd seen you, but for a moment, he comes up with nothing.
Ever since he's been living back in the real world, he hasn't been outside too much.
He goes on the occasional walk, or goes to the tower to see Steve and Sam.
But other than that, he spends a lot of time in his Brooklyn apartment. He watches movies that Steve suggests, or he invites Steve and Sam over to have beer and watch TV with him.
He hates how lonely it gets, though.
Bucky wishes that he had someone.
Someone who could understand.
And don't get him wrong, he loves Sam and Steve. They fill in the gaps in his days, and they make them better.
Sometimes, thinking about having something to do that day is what makes it. He likes having something to do, something to plan for for when his friends come over.
But it feels like a teeny, tiny part of his life is missing. A person shaped-hole in his heart.
But Bucky doesn't spend too long thinking about it, or it'll send him into a spiral about failure and how he needs to 'push himself to get out there more.'
Or that's what his therapist says.
"Hey, we're about to close, and we usually throw the pastries out at the end of the day. Do you wanna take these home, by any chance?" Your voice rings in his ears, snapping him out of the impending slippery slope of his lack of love life.
He hesitates to answer for a second, looking at the brown paper bag pinched between your fingers.
Bucky can tell you were nervous when you spoke to him. He knew he made you uneasy, and it killed him inside.
He hated that. He just wanted to have a normal conversation with someone. But everyone seems to know who he is.
Who he was.
"Uh, what is it?" He croaks, unsure of what to say at your gesture.
"It's a few cookies and a chocolate croissant."
"Sure, I'll take 'em." Bucky simply answers, watching as you hand the bag over with a soft smile and watches you walk back.
You sweep up the floor and put up all the chairs, except for the one Bucky's sitting on. You leave his table alone, and bid farewell to your coworker who was scheduled to close with you.
Bucky doesn't know what drives him to do it, but he gets up after he sees you walk out the door, and follows you home.
Damn, if you like a girl, you usually ask for her number or somethin'. Not follow her home to make sure she's safe, you idiot. Bucky's inner voice speaks and sometimes, he wishes it would just shut up because he knows he has no game nowadays, but this is all he knows to do.
He realizes the way you're walking is familiar, and not at all of the way he was supposed to be going. That made him feel a little better, less like a creep. He's about half a block behind you, and when you turn onto the same street he lives on, he's really confused.
Did you know he was behind you? Are you trying to play a trick on him?
But before Bucky can speak up or say something, you walk right past his building, and into the one right next to it.
All of a sudden, images of you right on the street in front of your buildings flash through his head. He's seen you because you're his neighbor. Bucky's seen you right there, getting ready to start your run through the neighborhood, or probably on your way to work, now that he's seen where you work.
But he feels like there's somewhere else he's seen you; somewhere familiar.
He shakes his head, wondering why he's so caught up in you. He thought you were beautiful, but he feels a pull to you that he's never felt with anyone else before.
Bucky's hands move to unlock his door, sliding the key in and twisting the lock open.
He enters, staring at his dark apartment. It's moments like this, when he spends a long day alone, that he wishes there was someone.
Someone to come home to, to hug, to kiss, to share dinner with.
Some to fall asleep with at night. Someone to keep the terrors of the dark away.
But there was no one.
And then his mind thought back to you. Your hair, your face, your warm hands that touched his while you passed him the brown paper bag of treats.
Bucky wishes he was man enough to ask you out. Not even that, just to talk to you. Have a normal conversation, to get to know you.
But that wasn't in the cards for him anytime soon, he thinks.
For now, he focuses on taking things one at a time. And right now, all he wanted was a nice, warm shower and to get at least three hours of sleep tonight.
He's in his room, forgoing the lights for now, before he looks out his window.
For a moment, he believes his eyes are playing tricks on him.
There's absolutely no way that you are standing right there, right outside his window.
Well, in your own apartment, of course.
And there's absolutely no way in hell that Bucky is watching you undress right now.
As soon as you pull off your top, Bucky turns around before he could get more than a peek of your black lace bra, and he feels a burn in the pit of his stomach.
He can't tell if it's shame, guilt, or arousal.
(y/n's pov).・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You couldn't stop thinking about James all day.
After yesterday, you wondered why you couldn't shake this feeling about him.
He'd made it quite clear that he's not a people person. Or maybe he just wasn't a you person.
But again, you tried to not take things too personally these days.
Sometimes, you wondered, though, as you looked through your bedroom window to his some nights.
You imagined what it would be like, watching one of those movies with him at night. Making dinner with him. Having coffee in the mornings before work, wondering what he did for a living.
You chastise yourself for your thoughts, thinking that you were crazy for these ideas you were coming up with out of nowhere.
As you pull off your clothes to get ready for bed, you feel the same emptiness fill your heart when your head hits the pillow, and another day has gone by where you're all alone.
-
The next day, your shift was at ten in the morning so you were up early.
You took your time in rolling out of bed. The warmth of your duvet was holding you down, and you couldn't help take a peek out your window.
You see that the room facing yours is finally housing a body in the bed. In all the time you'd been living across him, you've only seen him on the floor.
You feel a warm flutter at that. Whatever reason led him to actually sleep in the bed last night was, you hope you played a role in it.
-
You make your way to the café, and although walking in the rain wasn't ideal, you made it, somehow.
You clock in and head to the register, ready to take the millions of orders that come in through the day.
"Hi- oh! Welcome back. What can I get you?" Your tone of voice made it clear you were surprised, but was trying to not let it show.
"Uhm, just the same as yesterday, and... Can I get a chocolate croissant?" Bucky's gruff voice tells you.
You ring him up, wondering if you should say something about him being your neighbor. Although, he didn't seem too keen on looking you in the eye right now, and you wonder if you did something to make him uncomfortable yet again.
He seems to have this issue quite often.
Little do you know, this time, it isn't because of you or anything you did.
Well, nothing you did on purpose.
Nothing you were aware of at the time.
Anyways, you tell James to go take a seat and that you'd be right out with his order.
"Here you go, James," you place the plate and mug on the table, and this time, when you hear him say something, you turn around with furrowed brows.
"Sorry, I didn't catch what you said." You apologize, waiting for him to repeat himself.
"I- nevermind, it was stupid anyways. You probably have to get back to work." He mumbles while looking back down at his pastry.
"James, whatever it is, you can tell me." You offer with a kind smile. "I can come sit with you during my break, if you don't mind?" A hopeful smile crosses your face.
"Uh, I- yes, yeah, that would be nice." He struggles for a moment, but finally nods his head in confirmation along with his words.
"Alright, James. I get off in an hour for my break." You simply tell him with a soft grin, and you can practically feel his eyes burning into you as you walk away.
The blush creeping up your cheeks also stays there until the remainder of your shift.
-
As you plop in the chair across from James, you inspect him for a moment.
He was attractive, you'll admit.
Okay, he was more than attractive.
"So, James, where are you from?" You ask, your own cup of coffee in front of you on the table.
"Well, I'm Brooklyn born 'nd raised. Never was a time I didn't live here. You?" His lip twitches, looking out the window fondly.
"That's nice. I moved here when I was nine, so I guess I've been here a while. But no matter where I go, there's nowhere like home." You smile.
"There really isn't, huh? This place is irreplaceable." He gives you a crack of another smile, and you find yourself yearning for more from him. Just a tooth, something.
"Well, do you live around here?" You ask, deciding to play coy. You wanted to see what he'd say.
"Uh, yeah, actually. Over on DeKalb and Clinton." He clears his throat, the hint of a smile on his face melting right off.
"Huh, that's so funny. I live on those streets too." You grin, waiting to see his reaction.
"O-Oh really?" James doesn't really know what to say without giving away that he knows where you fucking live.
"Yeah, isn't that funny? Which building?" You're pressing, and you know he knows, but you're having your fun right now.
"T-the uhm... I live in the Washington." He's now making zero eye contact with you, and you're close to breaking.
"What a coincidence! I live in the Oakley!" You're in a fit of giggles when his face drops, you just can't help it anymore.
"James, can I tell you something?" You ask in a coquettish manner.
"Yeah, I suppose you'll tell me even if I say no." He gives a tight smile as a joke.
"I don't wanna sound like a creep, but I knew you lived in the Washington."
"Oh," James releases a breath of relief, "thank God. I knew you lived in the Oakley, but I didn't wanna sound like a stalker either." He says.
You laugh, sliding a hand on top of his resting on the table.
"Y'know, you do this really annoying thing where you leave your movies running on full brightness on your TV, and I can see it through my windows at night." You laugh at the incredulity of the situation.
"Oh... I never even thought of that. I'm sorry, Y/N." He looks genuinely remorseful, and now you feel bad for any bad thought you've had about the man that lives across from you.
"It's alright. No big deal." Your smile does a good job of convincing Bucky that you truly weren't bothered by his actions, but he still felt bad.
"Y'know, maybe I could make it up to you?" He asks, and you feel a blush moving up your chest. "Like, maybe over dinner?" His voice is timid, you can tell by the way he tilts his head down while speaking.
"James," you slide your hand into his this time, your smaller one resting in his large metal one. "I'd love to go out with you sometime."
Before he could react, you stood up from the chair.
"My break's over, but I get off at 3." You lean down and pull a pen from your apron, scribbling your number onto a napkin. "Here."
You walk away before he could say anything, but there's something about him this time that you notice.
He's blushing, too. And he's smiling. A bright, white, blinding smile.
You think of that smile throughout your whole shift, until you see he's still waiting for you when it's time to go.
"So, do you like Chinese or Italian better?" He asks with a crooked smile.
-
bonus scene:
six months later
You and Bucky are laid across your bed, the TV blaring a movie that neither of you are paying attention to. Your head is resting on his shoulder, leg thrown over both of his, and his hand running through your hair.
"You wanna know somethin' doll?" Bucky asks, and you feel his chest rumble under your head.
"Yeah, everything okay?" You ask while leaning up on your elbow to get a good look at him, trying to gauge his mood.
"Everything's okay, just remembered something." He laughs, his hand moving to hold your jaw in it. You shivered at the touch, but smiled fondly at the action.
"When I first saw you at the coffee shop, that first day when you gave the free coffee and pastries... I followed you home."
Your brows furrow and it's clear that you were confused as to why.
"I wanted to make sure you got home safe, and then it turned out that you lived right next to me. So I went up to my apartment and wondered what I'd done right in a past life to have you live right next to me, and then I saw you lived right across from me." His face was tipped upwards, like he was replaying that night in his head.
"You followed me home just to make sure I was safe?" You asked in disbelief that he did something so nice for you, when at the time you thought he hated you.
"Of course, sweetheart. It was dark out and there 're some real jerks out there, y'know." One corner of his mouth lifts up in a soft smirk. "Didn't want anything to happen to ya."
You lean down and press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, appreciating his gesture.
"I really thought you didn't like me back then, so this is a nice little secret you've been hiding from me." You giggle when he pulls you back in for a real kiss.
"Yeah, well, I don't think I could'a hated you if I tried, baby. You're too sweet. And at the time, I was still getting used to being out in the open without being a national security threat." You both laugh lightly, dropping your head down.
A moment passes where you bask in his words, letting them soak in. And then a thought hits you, and you can't help but become more curious. Now you need to know the answer.
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, hon." Now Bucky's brows are pulled together, and you reach up and smooth out the wrinkle with your thumb.
"Did you ever... see me doing anything in here? Like, I usually keep the curtains open, and even if they're closed, they're pretty see-through..." You trail off, giving him time to craft his response.
You have a feeling you know the answer, considering how he turns red like a tomato in an instant as words leave your lips.
"I... there was this one time, but I swear, I wasn't trying to peep on you or anything, it was the same day I followed you and I just so happened to look into your window, and you were getting undressed, but I swear, I turned away as soon as I saw what you were doing, baby-" He was rambling, trying to save himself from sounding like a complete creep after all he's just told you.
"Did you like it?" You ask, innocently, but he knew what you were trying to do.
"I-I- You were getting undressed, sweetheart, of course I liked it... are you kidding me?" Bucky's grasping for the words, trying to make you understand.
"Well... we could always recreate it, but maybe in the same apartment this time?" You cock your head to the side, your doe eyes stirring a feeling in his abdomen.
"I think that's an excellent idea, honey." Bucky's hands grasp your waist as you slide on top of his lap. "After all, I am a hands on learner."
-
fin. i hope you enjoyed!
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classylo · 2 days ago
Text
this game | bucky barnes
pairings: bucky barnes x female reader
summary: you hated him and he hated you, so why does he always crash girls night with the hopes of finally taking you home.
warnings: “enemies” to first kiss, fluff, fake hatred for each other, cuss words
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You step out from your car and gather your things. You are late to dinner with a few friends so you walk as fast as your heels allow. You finally reach the restaurant and make your way inside, you lock eyes with one of your girlfriends and make your way over to them.
You stop dead in your tracks as you realize your best friend has brought her boyfriend Sam and seemingly enough, his best friend Bucky tagged along.
Ugh.
You can’t help but roll your eyes as you were not expecting girls night to be ruined by these two idiots.
You meant no offense to Sam. Sam is great, he’s great to your best friend and that’s all that matters.
Bucky on the other hand... You are not a fan. Literally. He’s cocky and arrogant. He is one of those guys who knows he’s attractive and he uses it to get what he wants.
Look, just cause he’s an avenger and saves the world every now and then doesn’t make him the coolest, most attractive, perfect, person ever.
Well that’s what you tried to tell yourself.
You knew deep deep down that you had a slight crush on Bucky. Slight.
But absolutely hell to the no will that ever reach the surface let alone be something that is ever discussed.
So you will continue your silent hatred for him as a way to cope with the fact you just want to run your hands through his hair and kiss his perfectly sculpted lips.
“Y/N!” The girls cheer as you approach the table. You give a smile and wave and sit down. Of course the only open seat is the one beside Bucky but you pay him no mind as you throw your purse and jacket down.
“Nice of you to show up.” He scoffs in your direction.
Bucky shares similar feelings to you. He isn’t necessarily your biggest fan either. It’s a mutual hate you have for each other and it’s fine. You both respect it.
“Nice of you to crash girls night... again.” You fire back. He cocks his head in your direction and raises an eyebrow at you.
Jesus. Sometimes he’s too attractive. You roll your eyes at him and turn to your other friends. You make your way through dinner and Bucky and you have simultaneously ignored each other. It’s been great. Your best friend and Sam kept being overly affectionate despite receiving boos and moans from the table. The time comes to pay and you realize you forgot your wallet at work.
“Fuck.” You whisper to yourself. Bucky hears your comment and glances up at you.
“Something wrong?” He asks with an eyebrow raised again. His Brooklyn accent so fucking pretentious. Sometimes you just wanna shove him against a wall and...
“Yes. Well no. It’s nothing. I just forgot my wallet at work.” You begin to brush him off and ask one of your other friends to help cover your tab up when Bucky grabs your check. You try to grab it back and he pushes your hand away.
“James.” You say with your sternest voice.
“Chill, doll.” His voice sharper than yours. You sit back and sigh. Sometimes he isn’t worth fighting. The waiter returns and you all say your goodbyes.
You and Bucky seemed to have parked on the same street so you walk silently together. You approach your car and you turn to thank him again for buying your dinner.
“I can Venmo you.” You attempt to open your door and grab your phone but instead stop yourself as you hear him chuckle to himself. You turn back around at him very confused.
“You’re such a fucking idiot.” He whispers but loud enough you can make out each syllable.
“Excuse me?” You question why the fuck he just insulted you like that.
“You don’t need to pay me back. It’s fine.” He continues laughing to himself and you are utterly confused.
“What is so funny?” You cross your arms and use his own eyebrow trick against him.
“You. You are funny. This game we play is funny.” He continues on.
“Game? What ga-“ You attempt to say back but suddenly his hand wraps around the back of your head and pulls you into him. Your lips crash against each other. His kiss is hard and possessive and you can’t help but instinctively wrap your hands in his hair.
Ah. It’s as soft as you thought it would be. He deepens the kiss and you let out a small moan into his mouth. You can feel him smirk against your lips. His hands have made their way from the side of your face, to your hips. His aggressive hold on your hips is enough to make your head spin. He finally pulls back for air and smirks at you.
“I knew it.” He continues his smirk.
“Fuck off” You scoff at him and try to regain your composure. You gently push him away from you but his grip on your hips is too tight. He laughs at your attempt and leans back in and places a soft kiss on your forehead.
“I knew you liked me.” He smiles and pulls away.
“You’re the one who kissed me!” You exclaim and he chuckles.
“Yeah and?” He raises an eyebrow at you.
Game. Fucking. On.
“So that’s it? Just the one kiss?” You question and he tilts his head in confusion.
“What you want more, baby girl?” He growls.
“Come back to my apartment.” You demand.
A wide smile emerges on his face and he turns to run to his car. You practically race each other back to your place and enjoy a long awaited night together.
a/n: enjoy this random fluffy piece hehe <3
taglist: @marvel-ous-miss-maisie | @stucky-my-ship | @dancer3205 | @capmanranger | @wooyugta | @marvelfansworld | @heretokilltime | @russosprettydiamondnow | @voguesir | @silentkiller2374 | @igotnoname4thisblog​ | @sunflowerfive | @smokeinherperfume | @daybleedsintonightfa11​ | @granpafrisbee | @straightforwardly​
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eloquent-vowel · 2 days ago
I have had a few bucky x read fic ideas bouncing around in my head and i cant write! So here is one,
Sam find a person who stairs and doesnt talk a whole lot because they uses ✨telepathy ✨. So Sam think they would be a good fit for Bucky, but he doesn’t know they have that power he just thinks they are mute. Then there is a thing where the reader is telling Buck how it works and they if they have something to connect them together like an object *reader motions to dog tags* they can have an unbreakable mind link. Then they fall in love or something. This is dumb, thank you for coming to my TedTalk
Hey! Thank you so much for this request, it wasn't dumb at all. I really enjoyed writing this. I may have gotten a bit carried away, this may sit close to 4000 words but we vibe. I hope this is what you had in mind! Please enjoy! <3
Click here for my masterlist of other fics and check in my bio for requests if anyone wishes to ask!
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Bucky had been enjoying a moments peace, he loved working with Sam but sometimes all he wanted was to put his feet up, put on some vinyl and enjoy a good cup of coffee all while reading a brilliant book. He had been trying to get into Game of Thrones lately, on Sam’s insistence, and he had been enjoying it. With the crackles of Glenn Miller from the turntable he missed the clunky footsteps coming up the stairs.
The sight that greeted Sam needed to be photographed. Bucky was lounging back on his ‘old man armchair’ feet up, hair in a towel, in a bathrobe, coffee in hand and facemask on, this was definitely one for the family album.
At the sound of the phone shutter Bucky practically launched himself out of the chair.
“Oh, you are never gonna live this one down old boy, it’s going to haunt you.” Sam almost cackled evilly as he began to email the photo to himself- he had learnt the hard way that Bucky was very proficient at breaking phones.
“You better not upload that photo anywhere, Wilson, I have a reputation to uphold.”
“Pfft, reputation, that’s funny.”
Bucky scoffed as he stood up, placing his book carefully on the side table, “Big scary super soldier, people hardly run-in fear from a guy in a bathrobe.”
“I disagree, a man in a bathrobe is definitely something you should run from. AH NOPE!” Sam jumped backwards, on top of a nearby chair, as Bucky lunged for the phone, towel turban falling off in the process. “You are not breaking this phone as well.”
“Fine. But you gotta promise not to post that anywhere.” Bucky huffed.
“I won’t.”
“Good.”
“As long as- “
“Oh no, I’m not doing anything for you.”
“Think of it as payment for the last phone you broke and insurance for this picture.”
There was silence for a moment as the two friends eyed each other up. Sam raised his eyebrows, Bucky’s eyes narrowed. It was a Mexican standoff between a guy in a bathrobe and a precariously balanced man. A clock ticked.
“Fine.” Bucky conceded. “What do you want?”
“For you to come to a meeting.”
“The families of Veterans ones?”
“Yeah.” Sam slowly started climbing down from the chair. “And before you get your old man pants in a twist, I’m not trying to force you to talk or anything, kinda.”
“Kinda?” Suspicion laced through Bucky’s voice.
“You know sign language, right?”
“Which kind?”
“American? I think?”
“Yeah, I know ASL, might be a bit rusty but I’m sure it still holds up. Why do you ask?”
Sam shifted slightly on his feet, “There’s this person, they come in every week and listen. I tried to talk to them, but they communicate through sign language, and I don’t have anyone there to talk with them.” He cast his eyes to the floor, “I feel bad. They were brave enough to come to the group only to basically be ignored ‘because we didn’t plan well enough.”
Bucky smiled, face mask crinkling around his smile lines, “You could have just asked me to Sam. You didn’t have to blackmail me into this, of course I’ll help. When’s the next meeting?”
“This evening. You gonna be ready or do you need some more ‘me’ time.”
Bucky simply chuckled at Sam’s teasing tone, patted his shoulder making sure to squeeze just a bit too hard before retreating to his room.
“I’ll be there, Wilson, and I will look so much younger than you!”
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It was frustrating to you, going along to these meetings and not being able to communicate. You could always speak into someone’s mind but all that usually accomplished was a very paranoid person. But just listening to other’s stories really helped the grief from losing someone so close to you. You related to most of the people there and even though they didn’t understand you a lot of the time, you were always made to feel welcome- with friendly pats on the back and the odd tissue thrown your way.
You bustled into the familiar building with a new sense of excitement as Sam had promised to bring a translator for you this week. It was finally time to say your thanks to some of the people there and finally let the group know about your brother, so that it wasn’t only you that remembered him.
You all but ran through the hallways until you caught sight of a familiar smiling man. Sam was facing you, talking animatedly to another man, the strangers back was to you. He was tall, broad shouldered and dressed in a vintage looking leather jacket and rather well fitted trousers. Now the debate was: does the tailoring make the ass, or does the ass make the tailoring. You were halfway through the arguments on either side when Sam shouting your name disrupted the intense debating in your mind. You blushed at being caught, then blushed some more when you caught sight of the stranger’s face. Twinkling blue eyes under a deep-set brow should have made him intimidating, but he was smiling, and his face was dazzling. There was an immediate fluttering in your stomach.
“Hey, I’m Bucky.” Dear lord even his voice was nice, what made you smile even more was the fact that he signed as he spoke. Well, Sam certainly knew how to pick them well. “Sam introduced me; said you wanted an interpreter.”
You nodded as you signed back, “Nice to meet you, thank you for helping out.”
“No problem, Sam has told me a bit about you.”
“Good things I hope.”
“Okay I recognise my own name, you two better not be conspiring against me.” Sam piped up, to be honest you had forgotten about him for a moment.
Bucky laughed, and it sent a little thrill down you, he really was adorable.
“No worries, Wilson, just letting them know all your dirty little secrets.”
“Right, you two get in there, before you make me sleep with one eye open.”
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You and Bucky caught each other’s eye, his eyes were twinkling with mischief, and you couldn’t help the smile that overtook you. You had a feeling that the two of you would get on just fine.
The meeting passed easily. Bucky translated your signs and you finally felt like you could actually take part in these meetings. Everyone listened intently when you spoke of your brother and when you had thanked the whole group for being so open to you a couple of people shed a tear. By the end of the meeting though you were tired and very accepting of Bucky’s offer to walk you home.
It was a lot of side glances and hidden smiles and you walked side by side. Drawn to each other under the moonlit sky, it was nice to just be in the presence of someone who had such a kind aura. You spent the walk trying to work up the confidence to sign something, anything but nothing came to mind and Bucky seemed quite content to just walk in comfortable silence.
You soon reached your home, you turned to Bucky with a smile on your face and signed,
“Thanks for today, Bucky. You were really helpful.”
“No problem.” He signed back,
You hesitated slightly before signing, “Would you be happy to have a coffee with me, tomorrow?”
Bucky went a little red in the face, and chuckled, “I would love to, I know a nice place, real cosy. I’ll text you the details.”
“You know how to text?”
“Hey! I get enough stick from Sam, don’t need you getting on my case too. I’ll have you know that I am very adaptable.”
“Sure, Sure.” You smiled at his flustered tone. “I’ll wait for your text then, have a good evening.”
“You too.”
The two of you stared slightly awkwardly at each other, neither wanting to be the first to turn around. You shuffled your feet away slowing, smiling awkwardly once more at Bucky before turning. You heard his footsteps start to fade away as you walked towards your home. You were but three steps to the door when a large figure in a hoodie slammed into you, you raised your arms instinctively to block them when you noticed your shoulder was lighter. The bastard had stolen your bag.
You immediately took chase, chasing around the corner you just walked down but they were fast, faster then you at least. As you rounded the corner you caught sight of Bucky walking ahead. The thief wouldn’t stand a change against him. Without a second thought you cast your thoughts towards Bucky,
“Bucky! Thief! My Bag! Behind you!”
You saw Bucky flinch slightly then turn bewildered, his eyes widening when he saw you hurting towards him, chasing the hooded figure. He caught on and launched after the thief as well, with barely any effort he knocked the thief to the ground, grabbed your bag and whipped out his phone to call the cops.
Well, that was hot.
You took your bag back, immediately checking that you brother’s lucky coin was in the zippy pocket, to your relief it was still there. You looked up to see Bucky staring at you with a very puzzled look on his face. You sighed before casting your thoughts to his head once more,
“I’ll explain later.”
Bucky let out a strange, decompressed noise of shock, it made you giggle. The two of you waited in silence until the police came and took the thief away. The police car had barely driven away when he turned to you.
“Did you just, talk in my head? Or did my conscious just suddenly get really loud.”
“I did. Hi. Sorry about that.”
He waved his hands dismissively. “Believe it or not, not the weirdest thing I’ve encountered.”
“Well, that’s reassuring.”
There was an awkward silence.
“So,” You started, resorting back to sign language, it felt less invasive, “Still down for coffee?”
Bucky smiled, “One hundred percent. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Bye Bucky. Thanks for getting my bag back.”
“No problem, see ya.”
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The coffee shop that Bucky invited you to, was tucked away, it was the kind of place that you would stumble over on accident. With a simple door and a big window out the front, that lead soft orange light filter out onto the alley. There was the faint sound of jazz leaking out of the building, you smirked. It was such an old fashioned place, of course this was where Bucky frequented.
The bell tinkled slightly as you entered the café, where you were greeted with the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. You caught sight of Bucky’s broad shoulders sitting in the corner, and you made your way over to him, smiling at the barista as you passed.
As if sensing you, Bucky turned to smile and wave. He was dressed in casual clothes like last time, but this time his hair was loose around his shoulders. You smiled back before settling into the seat opposite him.
His hands moved hesitantly as he signed, “What would you like? I can recommend their hot chocolate, its very warming/”
“Hot chocolate it is.”
You could tell he wanted to ask you a million questions but to his credit he walked slowly to get the drinks, he even took his time carefully carrying the tray of drinks back to your table. He placed a delicious looking hot chocolate in front of you. You watched as he took a sip.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1-
“So,” Here we go, “What is it you can do, you can speak in peoples’ heads, can you,” He lowered his voice and leaned in, “Can you read people’s minds?”
You giggled slightly, his eyes were basically sparkling, he was definitely nerding out about this.
You set the hot chocolate down before casting your thoughts to his head, “I can speak in peoples heads relatively easily, it’s how I talk most of the time to people I know. I guess you could call it Telepathy.”
Bucky’s eyes were as wide as saucers, “So you can’t read thoughts, only… speak them?”
“I like to call it casting, makes me feel like a sorcerer. I can read thoughts, but it takes a lot of energy. I used to be able to talk with my brother from across the house. That usually requires some kind of connection.”
“Oh, so like a blood or family connection? Do you have to know the person very well?”
“That certainly helps but it’s not always necessary. If I have a personal object that belongs to that person, something I can hold and connect to them it isn’t hard to make a two-way connection. Especially if that person is willing to open their mind.”
Bucky seemed to be caught in thought for a second. “So, if I were to give you something of mine, we could both talk in our… heads?”
“Well yes, but Bucky we have only just met. Letting me into your head is a lot. I try not to pry but sometimes I’ve found that thoughts just burst through. Let’s get to know each other a before that happens.”
Bucky smiled at you before speaking and signing, “You’re right. Let’s get to know one another. I find you fascinating.”
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It happened on the fifth date. Bucky was just walking you home after a lovely dinner at a small Italian that he claimed he went to back in the 40s. Just outside your door, under the glow of a lamppost he turned to you and took a deep breath before speaking.
“I know this may be a lot, but I wanted to give you these.” He reached around his neck and pulled off something silver. You gasped slightly as he held out his dog tags, immaculately preserved after all these years.
“Are you sure, Bucky? This is a lot.”
“I know and if you aren’t comfortable with it then just let me know but I want to give them to you.”
“You know what this means Bucky?”
“Yeah, I know, I just figured that you’re already in my head all the time anyways, just can’t seem to get you out of it.”
“You cheeseball.” You smirked at him before taking the dog tags and placing them around your neck. You gripped the cold metal for a moment, concentrating on the man in front of you. Taking everything, you knew about him and stretching out a connection, like a hand reaching out to clasp another.
“Testing, Testing, Testing, one two, one two, can my Telepathic partner hear me?”
You laughed, “Yes I can Bucky, you big dork.”
Bucky whooped out loud before sweeping you up in a big hug. The two of you laughing under the lamp light. His joy was infectious, and you couldn’t fight the smile off your face.
“Oh, we are going to have so much fun messing with Sam.”
“You’re evil.”
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Of course, the two of you made a pact not to tell Sam until he worked it out, which wouldn’t be anytime soon according to Bucky. It led to some very memorable moments and Sam refusing to play any form of card or board game with either of you because you always managed to win, somehow. Not to mention all the times you had spoken in eery unison around him.
“I swear, its like you two can read each other’s minds sometimes.” Sam threw his hands up in frustration at another lost game of charades.
You smirked at Bucky across the room, “Should you tell him, or shall I?”
“I think he’s been through enough, I got it.”
Bucky cleared his throat, “We can.”
Sam whipped around to face Bucky, a look of sheer disbelief on his face, “Seriously Bucky-boy, if you think I believe that after all-
“Hello Sam.” You cast your thoughts to him, in the creepiest old lady voice you could muster.
Sam yelped, before turning accusingly at you, “You better be joking around with me right now, I am not dealing with any kind of ghosts in this house.”
“Sorry! Surprise I’m telepathic!”
“You’re serious.”
You nodded.
Sam put his head in his hands and sighed, “Not the weirdest thing ever. Wait, does this mean you have been cheating this entire time.”
You both looked guiltily at one another.
“You owe me. That poker night, void.”
You both laughed, “We’ll have a fair rematch this time Sam.”
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It had been close to a year since you had made it official with Bucky and you were now much more comfortable around one another. He no longer just dropped you off at the lamppost but cam inside with you. You had spent many lovely mornings together sharing glances over steaming cups of coffee. Fighting each other for who got to spread their legs out on the couch, there wasn’t really a loser though as it usually ended up in sofa cuddles for both of you, while watching a film.
Life was pretty great, you thought, as you smiled down at the sleeping Bucky beside you. Finally reaching over to turn off the lamp and put your book down, you were finally reading the hobbit at Bucky’s insistence. As you clicked off the light beside you and settled down you noticed the faster than usual breathing coming from beside you.
“Bucky?”
You reached out, thinking he was awake but instead as you opened up your connection you caught flashes of night terrors. You were falling indefinitely, snow all around you, and in the distance, there were cries of pain, people pleading for their lives, there was gunfire and explosions. You gasped and took off the dog tags. You only gave yourself a moment to breathe before trying to shake Bucky awake. When it became clear that he wasn’t stirring you steadied yourself and settled your hands on his temples. You didn’t care you tired this would make you, you just wanted Bucky to stop suffering. You focused, offering out that hand of connection again, this time picturing it in the shape of a fist and, although it wasn’t subtle, you tried to shake Bucky’s brain awake. You forced your way into his dreams, punching through the dark fog that clouded his thoughts and almost screamed at him.
“Bucky! Bucky wake up! You’re dreaming my dear!”
Bucky woke up with a start. Tears flowing down his face, he stared at you blue eyes shining. No one spoke as he pulled you into his arms. You just breathed together for a moment, counting the breaths and the spaces in between. When he finally pulled back, you saw his eyes flicker with concern before lifting a hand to gently wipe under your nose, it came back red with blood.
“You, okay?”
You smiled sadly, reaching out to put the dog tags back on.
“I should be asking you that.”
“But you’re bleeding.”
“Occupational hazard.” You tried to subtly get rid of any of the extra blood. “That was pretty intense. Wanna talk?”
Bucky looked down to the sheets and shook his head. You smiled at him, tilting his head to yours.
“That’s fine, want me to go? Or would you like to cuddle for a bit?”
Bucky didn’t talk again, just pulled you gently down to the bed once more. Snuggling himself under your chin, resting his head on your chest. You felt his arms draw tightly against your waist. You pressed your lips into his hair.
“May I help you go to sleep? Keep the bad thoughts at bay for at least one night.”
You felt Bucky nod and let out a little sleepy hum of agreement. You closed your eyes, focused on your connection setting up a golden wall against the dark fog at the corners of his mind and settled into a deep sleep.
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You woke to the smell of fresh coffee and the clinking of cups.
“Morning.” You opened your eyes at Bucky’s voice and took the offered cup greedily. Your mind still felt hazy from the energy you used last night.
You felt the bed dip beside you as Bucky sat and sipped at his cup as well, hair a bit of a mess from bed. He had evidently only just woken up as well.
He took a breath, “I had some pretty interesting dreams, sweetheart.”
You stiffened, “Good ones I hope.”
“Don’t worry, they were good. If a little strange.”
“Strange?”
“I was watching myself most of the time.”
You snorted into the coffee, “Sounds creepy”
There was a slight chuckle, “Nah, I was watching myself build a home, a family- “
“Oh God Bucky.” You snapped your eyes to his, you knew what had happened. “I am so sorry my dreams must have stuck in your head.”
“Those were your dreams?”
“Yeah, its only happened once before but when the connection between two people is very strong, it can happen- I call it bleeding. Perhaps we should- “
“If the next words out of your mouth are take a break, I will spill your coffee.” You clutched your cup closer to your chest, “Truthfully, those were some of the beset dreams I have every had. I really loved them.”
You looked back up at him, hesitantly “You did?”
“And I love you.”
“Huh
There was silence as you stared at him in shock. His face as nothing but adoration as the sunlight filtered over his face.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too.”
Coffee cups were cast aside as you both collided. Giggling and joking, radiating happiness as the two of you shared the sweetest kiss. Your feelings merging together, amplifying one another until they shone brighter than the sun.
241 notes · View notes
ohtobeleah · 3 days ago
Text
Defining Label // Bucky Barnes
Summary: After the battle against Thanos, you end up in the ICU. Bucky by your side because he can’t leave his best girl. Moments in time plaguing his memory from when you’d always been by his side.
Word Count: 6.4k
Author Note: Just something really random and soft for your Sunday night. okay—bye. :)
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“I hate to admit it” Steve groaned as he sat next to your hospital bed with the weight of the world on his shoulders. You’d think after just saving it, that feeling would’ve diminished. If anything it felt heavier, because it was you. “But she saved my life more times then I can count, I never asked her to, but she was always there.” Bucky focused on the rise and fall of your chest. The steady sound of the heart rate monitor that let him know you were still there. He liked to watch your eyelids flutter, or twitch—he wasn’t exactly sure what to call the way your eyelids would move, all he knew and cared about was that it was a good sign.
Steve watched as Bucky stood beside your bed, a gentle hand softly covering yours. He hoped that you knew they were there. Smirking to himself with an all knowing feeling resonating in the depths of his mind—Steve leaned back on his chair, watched as you slept, for once, regardless of bruises and cut that littered your face like a roadmap of determination and willpower, you were sleeping. A comatose state. It had been a long five years to bring James Buchanan Barnes back along with half the population. Steve had seen you walk through hell. He hated what loosing Bucky had done to you, what lengths you were willing to go, how much he had a hold over you, owned your heart. Steve had sworn that Bucky had taken it with him when he blipped, leaving you with an empty black hole in your chest where it once pumped life into your soul.
“We had an extra vile of pym partials after Tony and I came back.” Steve began explaining. Bucky listened although his eyes never left you. His eyes would concentrate on hour face for a while, only to fall back to the rise and fall of your chest.
You didn’t get a chance to say goodbye—half way across a torn battlefield with Bucky as Tony professed to his beloved Pepper that she had to make sure you’d be okay. Bucky had listened to you scream in agony, physically and emotionally, as he carried you, felt your blood drip into his tactical gear, holding Tony Starks younger sister, the absolute love of his life since the day he met you. Remembering the way you fought so hard beside Steve—all for Bucky.
“This isn’t you!” You screamed, Bucky could remember the way you felt under his arm. Throat being crushed by vibranium. Your back to his chest as you kicked at his shins, panicking. “Your name, is James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky—Bucky listen to me!!” You weren’t given up, Bucky felt you flail under his grip, pulling out a knife he’d dug into your thigh moments before he’d managed to get you into such a compromising chokehold—pulling it out with a gasp and gritted teeth, sinking it into the side of Bucky’s hip. His release brought a wave of satisfaction over your body, enough that you were stumbling forward with a pained gasp before spinning around into a roundhouse kick, your heel landing straight against Bucky’s cheek. Sighing as he went down with a thud. Bucky couldn’t do anything but lay there, the cloud cover that fogged his memory slowly fading as he listened through the ringing in his ears. Steve finally making his way to you as you doubled over in pain, trying to catch your breath.
“Tess—“
“Fuck you Steve, and fuck the fucking government and fuck me for letting my damn guard down which I will never. do. again.” You hissed, looking down at Bucky as he came to, fighting off the urges the Winter Soldier left behind as Bucky Barnes took over his own consciousness again. ”Tony’s gonna be pissed, we gotta get him outta here before Ross has an aneurysm—“ you sighed, spitting blood from your mouth as it dripped from your nose, surely broken from the force of Bucky’s knuckles.
“We?” Steve replied. Watching on as you pushed Bucky’s hair from his face, leaning over him as he gripped at your hand, whispering sorry over and over again. You nodded in response to his apologies, knowing it wasn’t his fault. You turned to Steve as he stepped closer. A hand on your shoulder as you helped Bucky sit up. His head throbbing.
“When have I ever not being on your side?” You gave Steve a soft smile—grinning through the pain. Turning back to Bucky as he still held your hand tight, light your tough was the only thing that mattered—grounding him. Bringing him back to the surface.
“Sorry I stabbed you.” You whipped the blood that dripped from Bucky’s forehead.
“I stabbed you first.” Bucky pained out a chuckle. “I’m so sorry Tess.”
“S’nothing to be sorry about Buck—I know the risks.”
Bucky didn’t even know himself but he knew enough to know that he’d do anything for you. It had broken Tony’s heart when you’d chosen the Manchurian candidate over him. But the difference between you and Tony was he saw Bucky and the Winter Solider he’d been conditioned to be as one person who had choices. You saw Bucky for Bucky—ever since you’d seen the way Steve reached way back when the Winter Solider was still just a ghost story Nat had told you about.
“If you go with them, I never want you coming back do you hear me Tess!?” Tony hissed, spitting blood out onto the gravel, beaten, bloodied and bruised. You stood holding Bucky with your arm wrapped around his waist, his arm draped around shoulders for support. Shield dropped at your feet as Steve watched you turn your back on family for his best friend, for him. “You’re naive, you have no idea what you’ve just done!”
“I know exactly what I’ve just done.” You spoke through heavy breaths, looking down at the brother you swore not three days ago you knew like the back of your hand.
“He kill mum—“
“You hated him before you even knew, don’t act like you wouldn’t go out of your way to find any excuse under the sun to have him locked away in a damn cell Tony!”
“Your blinded by a foolish crush on a man who can’t remember his own name Tess, grow up!” Holding back your own tears you helped Bucky walk, his cybernetic arm half gone. Barley hanging on his was heavy against you. “Don’t come back—don’t you dare come back Tess.” you never did mend things after that. Tony never forgot and you never forgave. Two years passed before you spoke or saw Tony again. Only coming back when Bruce had called.
“I’d stashed them in my suit pocket, after everything with Nat I’d forgotten, but afterwards, after we’d all been down by the lake—I pulled Tess aside and said if she wanted to see you, she could.”
“Steve—“ The fear in Bucky’s voice was prominent, Bucky still didn’t understand the relative concept of time travel, what had you seen him do? What version did you meet? What would you think of him now? “Why did you do that?”
“I told her to go back to 1943, that night we went to the Stark Expo, my god Buck you should’ve seen her face when she came back. She had this big grin from ear to ear and all she kept telling anyone who would give her the time of day how good of a dancer you were.” Bucky chuckled, jealous of his past self. “Tony didn’t have much to say except she should’ve stayed in the past.” Bucky chose to ignore that last part, focusing on the idea of dancing slowly with you. The warm embrace of your spirit. He made a mental note to himself to take you dancing, he’d happily let you step on his toes.
“I think past me definitely set high expectations in that department, kinda haven’t had time to dance in decades.” Bucky ran his thumb over the back of your hand, pulling the chair towards him so he could sit on the other side of your bed. Resting his head down beside your leg. Hospital bed covers scratching at his cheeks. “I haven’t known her very long, but she’s always done the most for me.” Bucky held back a tear that threatened to spill from his waterline. Sniffling as he sat back up. Steve knew the look in Bucky’s eyes all too well. It was the same was he looked at Peggy through the glass on his own trip back in time.
“You love her Buck, that’s all that matters man.” Steve smirked, staring at Bucky as he shot him a look. Telling him to get lost in a comfortable silence. “It’s complicated, it always will be with you too, Tessas the only person I know who would spend weeks at a time with you in Wakanda.” Steve chuckled to himself. “You love her and there’s no doubt in my mind Tessa loves you back, probably more—I’ve seen lengths she’d go to just to get to you.”
“Tessa—? Bucky’s voice seemed chilled, like he didn’t know what was wrong, what was happening. When you turned to see Bucky fading away you ran towards him, catching the dust he left behind.
“Bucky?” You whispered. Steve coming to stand beside you as your knees dug into the dirt. “Where’d he go Steve where the fuck did he go—BUCKY!? James!?” You felt the panic rising in your chest a tears welled in your eyes. “Steve—“
“I don’t know—“ Steve replied as he fell to his knees beside you, bringing you into his chest as your screamed. Completely loosing yourself. Steve held you tight as he watched others around the two of you fade away. “Tessa—“
“I can’t lose him.” You cried, it pained. You already wanted Bucky back. “I can’t—“
“Kinda feel responsible, you know, maybe if I didn’t—“
“What happened out there happened Buck, there’s nothing more or less you could’ve done.” Steve was quick to shut Bucky down. Stopping him from spiralling into a self loathing mess. It wasn’t his fault—he couldn’t control you, Steve had tried many times before but he’d learnt that if you cared enough about something, somebody, You’d use your own body as a shield to protect them if that’s what you thought necessary. Bucky couldn’t get the sight out of his mind, it kept him awake at night and when he was able to succumb to his body’s need for sleep—it’s what plagued his subconscious.
Bucky saw you dig the sharpened edge of Steve’s broken shield into the chest of one of those bug like aliens that seemed to multiply every time you killed one. He watched you stand with a groan—looking around at the terror and carnage that just seemed to continue no matter how much any of you did. But Bucky knew you wouldn’t give up.
“Stark!” Bucky called out, his gun raised as he shot dead a grovelling alien thing that had snuck up on you as you turned to find where your name had been called from. Seeing Bucky standing there. “Hey—“ He shouted as you rushed him. tears streaming down your face as you ran into him with a thud. Arms wrapping around his waist as you felt him, breathing him in.
“Buck—“
“Woah, hey? What’s gotten into you?” Bucky chuckled as his hand cupped the back of your head. “Tess—“
“Five years Barnes, five years you were gone and I know to you it felt like, like five minutes for you, but for me it was decades.” You paused, looking into Bucky’s eyes, the ocean blue you’d missed so much it burned a whole in your chest. A black hole of darkness and despair where your heart used to be, beating for the first time in five years as you cupped Bucky’s scuffed cheeks. “I love you.” Bucky had said it once before, when you’d spent a few weeks in Wakanda, just checking in. You didn’t say it back, Bucky knew you would when you were ready, he wasn’t sure if he ever would be but at least he had told you. You’d lost the love of your life when he was dusted in front of you, you felt him fall through the cracks of your fingers into nothingness and you weren’t going another second without him knowing. “I know it’s not the most appropriate timing, you’ve got your shit and I’ve got mine.” You ran your thumb across Bucky’s lower lip. His hands draping to the side of your waist. “But I just needed you to know—“
“You’re insane.” Bucky chuckled, pulling you closer as he kissed you, deep and dirty. Needy and full of passion. Yours tears streamed down your face, so consumed in Bucky’s presence once again, letting your guard down for him, because of him, willingly. You opened your eyes for a split second to see the spear flying straight for Bucky’s back. Pushing him to the side and down to the ground as you took the full force. Piercing straight through your side. Gasping in pain as your blood ran cold, eyes wide in fear. Feeling the earth shift underneath you as the dirty alien like creatures dusted the same way Bucky had five years ago. Disappearing around you. Falling to your knees as Bucky scurried his way to your side. Holding you tight in his arms.
“Shit—no no no no, hey, you gotta stay with me okay—we’ll get you outta here.” Bucky’s voice broke, he could still taste you on his lips. Breaking the long end of the spear, his gut churning at your screams. “I’ve got you, C’mon—“ guilt already setting in, he shouldn’t have distracted you like that.
“Steve!!” Bucky cried out, rushing over rubble, Steve turned around from where he’d been standing. Tony passed not seconds prior—the light in his chest faded. “We gotta get Tess to a hospital, she’s bad—“
“M’fine.” you groaned, blood dripping from your side into Bucky’s gear. “I’m okay I—“ you lifted your head from Bucky’s shoulder for only a second, you wished you hadn’t. You could see Tony, lifeless. “No, Tony? TONY!!”
“Get her outta here Buck.” Steve gestured, Bucky nodded as he turned around, doing his best to keep you still in his arms to not do any more damage. “Go—“
“TONY!! let me fucking go Barnes, I gotta, I gotta help Tony.” Bucky didn’t have the heart to say what you already knew. Screaming as you tried to fight your way out of his grip. Spear digging further into your side. Bucky’s heart setting on fire.
“Tessa’s a tough one—she’ll pull through.” Steve’s voice cut through Bucky’s playback. His eyes still trained on the rise and fall of your chest. Hand still gripping your softly as his thumb moved gently over your palm.
“Never seen her so mortal before.”
“Think we forget that’s all we are.” Steve sighed as he pushed himself out of the chair he’d been in for a few hours now. “I’m gonna head down the the coffee cart, you want anything?” Bucky just shook his head no in response. Steve accepted, placing his hands into his pockets as he walked out of your room. Bucky eyes followed Steve’s silhouette u til he’d vanished down the hall, coming back to focus on you a short second later. Watching as your head fell softly to the side, turning to face Bucky just a little more.
“Would you consider it rude that he didn’t ask me if I wanted anything?” Your voice was croaky, eyes fluttering open a moment after Bucky caught onto the fact you were waking up—reaching out to press the button for a nurse to come check on you. “Don’t press it, I’m fine, just wanna be here with you.”
“You scared me there for a moment, almost thought I’d lost you.” Bucky kissed the palm of your hand. You wore a smile as he did so. The feeling of his lips pressed longingly against your palm warm and loving. “Can’t do any of this without you—“
“I missed you.” You whispered, barley audible. “So much Buck.” Bucky could see the tears welling in your eyes as he pushed the hair away from your face behind your ear, much like the gesture you always did to him before your tap his cheek.
“I’m not going anywhere.” It had been a few days since the battle. Steve was hoping you’d be awake before the funeral. “I’m sorry about Tony.”
“I’m sure I’ll have the time to process the grief.” You groaned, trying to sit up a little more. Bucky helping to fix your pillow. Pouring you some water, passing it to you. “Real shit show huh? Kinda wish I’d stayed in the past.” You teased, you’d heard Steve tell Bucky about the Pym particles. “Only came back because this guy I met just wouldn’t listen when I told him not to go—tried to bribe him with some really shitty coffee and some amazing cherry pie.”
“Why’d you go back?” Bucky asked softly.
“Because I missed you so much, I just wanted to talk to you.” It was the sadness that laced your voice that broke Bucky’s heart. “You looked younger.” You chuckled. “Sargent James Buchanan Barnes with the 107th regiment.” You tried to hide your smile, your teeth pulling as your bottom lip as Bucky played with your hand. Tracing unidentifiable shapes and objects with his index finger, hiding his blush. “That’s how you introduced yourself you know, god you looked so good in that damn uniform.”
“I took you dancing?” Bucky asked as you nodded. Remembering a moment in time when he’d met a girl, beautiful and bright.
“Sure did, pretty good at it too, took me to some back alley twenty four hour diner afterwards, I tried to get you not to go, some really stupid idea I had, thought if I couldn’t have you in this life I could have you in another, one where you never went to Europe.” You took a sip of your water, sighing as it trickled down your throat. “Half way through our cherry pie I thought I’d almost convinced you to stay, but after we’d finished our coffees, which were awful by the way, you told me if I waited for you, you’d come back to me.” Bucky watched as you placed your cup on the table, whipped your tears that ran over bruised skin. He didn’t at anything—not yet, he just wanted to listen. “I realised in that moment I’d lost two different versions of the man I loved in two different timelines and I couldn’t handle that, I came back just before Bruce put the gauntlet on in such a wreck. Steve tried his best to calm Tony down but I was a goner, kinda glad that it worked because if it didn’t Buck who knows what I would’ve been capable of.”
“I remember waking up in the dirt back in Wakanda and everyone was just so confused. Sam was there—he uh, he helped me up because I couldn’t breathe. I had this really intense pressure just shooting through my chest.” Bucky coughed back a sob as you listened. I remember asking him where you were and he didn’t know either, I just needed you next to me.” Bucky shrugged his shoulders as he leaned back in his chair. Hand still in yours. Outstretched and resting on your bed. “I know the feeling.” You chuckled. Letting your head rest against your pillow.
“You know goats can climb trees?”
“No they can’t—“ Bucky shrugged you off, watching the small group of goats that had congregated to eat. “Don’t do that, fill my head with falsified information.” You chuckled to yourself, you could already here the wheels of the quinjet touching down in the field behind you. Sam your personal chauffeur out of Wakanda. “When are you planning on coming back?” Bucky asked.
“I’m not sure yet, kinda just going with the flow of things, I’ll be back though.” You beamed at Bucky. “I know you kiss me when I’m gone.” Bucky wasn’t about to deny it. Nodding as he watched the goats enjoy their food.
“That much is true.” Bucky chuckled softly as he brought you in for a one armed hug. Kissing the top of your head gently. “Don’t freak, but I uh—I just need you to know before you go, don’t feel Like you have to say it back or anything but—“
“Bucky?” You stopped him from rambling. Waiting for him to say whatever it was he had to say.
“I love you, I know I’ve got a lot to figure out—but I already know that much.” Bucky swore you’d turned the seven colours of bad shit. But you were just taking in the moment. Enjoying the feeling of being loved.
“If I fall for you Buck.” You sighed, trying to hide the fact you’d already fallen. “I'll never recover, If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.” You kissed his cheeks softly. “I gotta go, I’ll be back, watch your goats, I promise they do climb trees.”
“We’re just a mess aren’t we?” Bucky agreed, laughing along with you. “I think after this we should seek out some hard core therapy—“
“Either that or we’re gonna end up in some prison somewhere in Guatemala.” Bucky could listen to your laugh all day if you’d let him. The smile it brought to the surface, not a lot of things could do that. But you were always someone that could make Bucky remember why life was worth living, worth fighting for—you were always his biggest reason to fight. “Whatever you wanna do Stark I’m down, I’ll follow you anywhere you wanna go, as long as you’re by my side.”
“You think a relationship is something either of us should be jumping into right now?” You asked softly, sighing because time was never in your side. “I love the shit outta you Buck but that’s probably the dumbest idea that’s ever popped into your cyborg brain.” You chuckled. Bucky looked away for a moment, seeing Steve in the window of your room, not wanting to interject or interrupt an obviously intimate moment. 
“Never said anything about a relationship, just wanna go wherever you are.” Bucky admitted, he knew better then most he couldn’t let you love him the way he so desperately wanted you too. “But I do love you, everything about you has always driven me crazy and you’ve always been the first person to fight for me, you’ve taken bullets and punches and fucking spears for me—“
“Kinda sounds like your flirting with me?” You interrupted, smirking as Bucky once again brought your hand to his lips. Leaning forward as his elbows balances on his knees. Softly kissing the back of your hand. “Are you flirting with me Barnes, kinda bad at it if you are.” He wasn’t, he was always so good at it. You just liked to tease Bucky whenever you could, he always reacted to it like it was the first time someone was giving him attention. Bucky looked you dead in the eye, his entire demeanour changing as he got serious.
“I think I’ve been flirting with the same girl since 1943, I remember taking this girl dancing once.” Bucky was trying his best to remember, bits and pieces coming back to him that resembled what you’d shared with him. “She’d kinda hijacked a date I was on, just by sheer coincidence I guess.” Bucky chuckled to himself as he shook his head, a grin on his face. “We danced and shared some bomb ass cherry pie with—shitty coffee that was a-bit of a buzz kill, but she said she’d wait for me, after she’d tried to convince me not to leave, Kinda hoping after all this time she kept her promise?” It took you a moment to realise Bucky had been talking about the same date you had. How was it possible? You’d never know, maybe in the twisted nature of it all you were always destined to go back, maybe it was always meant to end with you and Bucky in that diner.
“What’s another decade.” You chuckled. Bucky stood, leaning over you to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Always gonna be you Barnes.”
“Always gonna be you.” Bucky whispered back. “Never for a moment will it not be you.”
***~***~***~****~***~***~***~***~***~***
You pushed your way past the people who blocked the elevator doors, mumbling ‘move’ and ‘get out of the way’ rushing, but also not really, towards the therapy session Bucky had so kindly asked you to attend. He said he’d seen you showing signs of a spiral recently. He just wanted to make sure you were okay, you thought it was kind of him to care enough about your well-being that he wanted you to join in on his therapy session. Only agreeing because the way his lips felt on yours was simply magical.
“Sorry! Sorry I’m late!” You burst through Doctor Raynor’s door, Bucky was already sitting in the middle of the couch, moving over slightly as you sat with a huff. Passing him over the pink box and plastic fork. Bucky beamed. Opening the box as his mouth salivated—a slice of cherry pie. “I’m here, I got stuck in traffic.”
“That’s horse shit Tess.”
“Ahh—you got me, just kinda don’t wanna be here doc.” You kicked your shoes off, taking a fork full of pie to your mouth as you laid your head into Bucky’s lap. “Hey Sarge.” You quipped, Bucky smirked down at you.
“Gotta stop calling me that.” He whispered softly. Stealing some of your slice of cherry pie. A gasp leaving your mouth, the absolute audacity.
“Tessa, this is court mandated therapy.”
“For him!” You pointed up at Bucky. He smacked your hand away from his face softly. “Im only here for moral support and snacks, you wanna bite?” 
“I think I’ll be right.” Doctor Raynor continued. “James, where were we?”
“We were talking about how you think it’s insane Tessa and I just won’t define a relationship.” You looked up at Bucky as you swallowed your mouthful. He’d cut his hair recently, you’d admit it, you missed the long brown locks, the strains that you could tug on and be met with a sharp hiss from Bucky’s mouth. Sensually riding him for hours as you teased and tugged in the brown locks that flowed so easily. But Bucky needed a change, to turn a new leaf. You’d helped him cut it one afternoon as you shared a block of chocolate and paired it with the salty taste of sea salt chips.
“We aren’t in a relationship?” You questioned, your eyebrows frowned with cautiousness and Curiosity.
“I know that, Doc doesn’t understand why not.” Bucky chuckled. You smiled up at him as he brought a piece of pie down into your mouth—teeth gliding against his fork.
“Look at you two, I can’t for the life of me understand why you two won’t just take the leap and commit to a title, James.” Doctor Raynor sighed as she picked up her notepad. “Relationships are important for you to establish, it builds foundation—“
“If I may Christina.” You interrupted. “Barnes and I go way back, like 1943 way back—I think to say the foundation’s are laid is pretty overstated.”
“You two share a home together? Is that right?” Bucky nodded. You groaned. “You share a bed together, you live and breathe and do everything together.”
“It’s our co-dependence.” Bucky quipped, looking down as you pulled a face at him, rolling your eyes because all you wanted to do was go to the beach and fry your skin cells. Feel the heat from the sun cook you alive. “You see doc, Tessas trauma is some how all my fault. I left her in a diner because I wanted to go fight for my country, I killed her parents and somehow managed to convince her I was worth saving so that in turn completely shattered whatever fragile relationship was still standing with her brother.” Bucky shrugged his shoulders. You clicked.
“Yeah what he said.” Agreeing with Bucky. “I’m in love with the man responsible for my broken relationship with my brother because he killed my parents, I spent a pretty good chunk of my life either fighting for him or with him, then, he blipped which ultimately ended up with me going back in time because I couldn’t breathe without him, but he ended up leaving again. Kinda hard to commit to a relationship when that’s all just floating around all unresolved and just existing isn’t it?” Doctor Raynor rubbed the bridge of her nose.
“Essentially what you’ve both just said is that being together, officially that is, would kill you just as much as being separated would kill you.” 
“I wasn’t under the impression this was couples therapy—“ you hissed at Christina. “Look, you wanna definitive label?” You snapped, sitting upright, looking at Bucky as he looked back at you. The absolute love of your life. “We’ve always been a mess Doc, this?” You pointed back and forth between you and Bucky. “It has never been as simple as a one word label, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, spouse—we don’t fit the mould.” You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair. “I love Buck—he knows I’d take a bullet for him because I have and I never hesitate when it comes to him, he’s my person and the love of my life. I wanna spend the rest of my life with him but I can’t fit that on a damn label.”
“Why can’t you?” Doctor Raynor pressed, aggravating you to no end. She was forcing you to say it, she wanted you to be honest with yourself and say it out loud. God you wanted to just run out of the room right now, leave Bucky behind to seek out his own therapy. But you didn’t, not with the way he was looking at you.
“Because everyone I’ve ever definitively labeled has left me, my brother, my parents, Steve—before the blip, I told Bucky he was my best friend—I watched him disappear, i don’t want him to disappear again, I watched him turn to dust after I said he was my best friend, god he’d probably spontaneously combust if I said fuck it and referred to Bucky as my significant other, that’s the way my world works.” The air was thicker then you remembered. Suddenly overcome with emotions so deep it made you feel sick to your stomach. Bucky hadn’t realised your response had brought him back to when you’d been a character witness for him during his pardon, pissing off the panel that sat on Capital Hill—Buck swore without you his case would’ve been dropped.
“Miss Stark?” You were staring down at the statement you’d prepared, hands crumpling at the paper. “Miss Stark are you with us?”
“Sorry I uh—“ you could feel the panic rising in your chest as hundreds of people waited to hear you testify on Bucky’s behalf, you focused on him, Bucky sent you a soft reassuring smile because he knew no matter what as long as you were on his side he’d be okay. “James Buchanan Barnes has been known by the world as the Winter Solider for far too long.” You started, crumbling your prepared speech and tossing it to the side. “I’ve only ever known his as Bucky.”
“Sargent Barnes was a prisoner of war, he’s the only person I know to date that has a serum causing through his veins he didn’t ask for—even Steven Rogers volunteered.” It was the way Bucky looked at you with so much love and admiration in his eyes that kept you going. Never for a moment looking anywhere else but in his direction, blocking out the rest of the world. “The things he’d done as the Winter Solider, the things he was forced to do by people who saw him as nothing but an asset they could freeze and control whatever they please, he shouldn’t be held accountable for. He remembers everything single one of them, I know that for a fact. The Winter Solider took my mother and fathers way from my brother and I—I don’t blame the man sitting before me today, he’s a victim too. He was forced to do the most unimaginable things while the governments of the world did nothing.” You couldn’t help but to scoff. “All you wanted to do was lock him away, forget that he was trapped inside his own mind for decades.” Your voice was laced with anger, venom dripping from your tongue as you stood and turned to face the panel that would determine Bucky future.
“You branded Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, James Barnes and myself as enemies of the state, fuck you guys.” The room filled with gasps and horrified looks, all Bucky could do was hide with laugh—looking over at Sam who sat with Rhodes. Absolutely stunned. “You wanna lock Barnes up behind bars? I dare you—see how far you get.”
“Is that a threat Miss Stark.”
“It won’t have to be if you’re decent enough people to see that Bucky’s just as much a victim as any of the people he unfortunately crossed paths with.”
“James? How does that make you feel?” Christina looked at Bucky, his eyes welling with tears as he pulled you closer, his arm around your shoulders as he kissed your cheeks softly.
“Labels don’t matter, not when you’ve been the best constant in my life. I love you, so much.” Bucky chuckled. “I never thought I’d be capable of that let alone having someone as kind and caring as you love me back.” Bucky’s coughed out a small sigh. “We’ve got a lot of shit to work through doc, I think putting a label on this isn’t the biggest issue right now.” Bucky had planned this session, it didn’t turn out exactly the way he thought it would. But nevertheless, he appreciated your honesty, your response.
Your love.
***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~
“Every time I see that therapist of yours I feel like I need to wash my mouth out with soup.” Bucky chuckled as he followed you through the threshold of the home you shared together. “It’s like she makes it a mission to get into all the little groves I try plaster over with gum and willpower.”
“That’s kinda her job Tess.” Bucky chuckled to himself, throwing his keys down onto the kitchen bench. “You know it’s probably a good thing right? Therapy as shitty as it can be actually kinda helps.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re no long the Winter Solider, you are James Bucky Barnes and it’s apart of your efforts to make amends—“ you quipped at Bucky. Reciting the small but powerful sentence you’d caught Bucky saying to himself in the mirror on a couple of occasions. “What we have is good right?” You asked softly. Expecting Bucky to answer straight away. The silence lingering linger then you’d like it to. Turning around as you undid the back of your earring to see Bucky holding a small box in his hand. A ring box, throwing it up and catching it so casually. “Right?”
“It’s great.” Bucky began, his eyes soft as he sauntered closer to you. Still throwing the box up and catching it. “What we have Tess? I wouldn’t trade it for anything, for anyone. But lately? I’ve been thinking about you and me and just—I gotta admit it, putting a label on you and me? The only label I’d ever wanna know you as besides being my best friend is my wife.”
“Bucky—“
“I know we still have a lot to figure out, we should still keep going to therapy, just having you in my is enough for me, but I uh—I got this for you.” Bucky dropped slowly to his knee, opening the box that held the most beautiful ring you’d ever seen. You fell to your knees in awe. Cupping Bucky’s cheeks as he continued, tears in your eyes, a mix between joy and excitement, by laced with fear. “Sam helped me customise it, said you told him once that diamonds terrified you.”
“Do I smell.” Sam sniffed dramatically. “Wedding bells?” Sam teased as you buckled yourself into the seat next to him, he’d watched you kiss Bucky’s cheeks before heading towards the jet. You groaned in response.
“One, no you don’t and two, Diamonds are terrifying things, they’re overrated and ooze overbearing commitment, can’t stand em.” Sam for some reason or another committed that very moment to his Rolodex of memories. Saved it for a rainy day. He was glade he did when he tagged along with Bucky ring shopping.
“So I thought emeralds? But then I thought maybe rubies because cherry pie—“ you cut Bucky off mid sentence with a kiss. Smashing your lips together with his as he fell backwards, bringing you down with him with a thud.
“You don’t have to say yes, I just wanted you to know that it’s here and that I’m not going anywhere.” Bucky finished, pushing your hair from your face as you straddled his waist.
“What if I say yes and you spontaneously combust?”
“I won’t.” Bucky reassured you, he could feel you trembling above him. Scared to accept that maybe just this once a label wouldn’t end in death or defiance. “I won’t leave you, not now, not ever.” Bucky slid the ring over your finger as you chocked back a sob. Looking into Bucky’s swirling pools of ocean blue that took in the sight of you. The best part of him. “It looks good on you—“
“Tessa Barnes huh?” You fell in love with the idea. “Sounds pretty catchy.”
“Is that you saying yes?” Bucky beamed, bringing you down closer to his face as you nodded, his lips attaching themselves to yours softly. “Will you marry me?” Bucky whispered into your mouth as his tongue explored your mouth, yours doing the same. “Will you Tessa Stark, my best friend, my person, the love of my life, my partner, my saving grace, my significant other, my other half, my best girl—Will you marry me?” Bucky counted off all the things you were to him, still beneath you after they were all said allowed. You nodded. Smirking against Bucky as he beamed back at you. Going against everything you’d told yourself would surely happen if you ever labeled anything ever again. Taking a leap of faith and trusting in Bucky—you’d lived without him before, it broke your spirit, it took your light, your happiness, your ability to see the good in things. Praying to whatever God would hear you that just this once things would turn out okay.
“Yes.” You whispered back. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

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malum-forev · a day ago
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Galas, New Dates and Exes (Part. 4)
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Warning: fluff and a tiiiiinyyy bit of smut (oopssss).
Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) broke up and they see each other for the first time at one of Tony's parties. The only problem is, she has a new date.
Word Count: 4k
Author's Note: This is a looonggg oneeee. I know I said I was going to reveal what happened between them buuuutt I decided not to. Hope you guys like this part! Please comment if you would like more parts and what you would want to see happen between the two.
Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt.3
It has been a couple of weeks since the New Year’s Party and (y/n) finally could go back to work. What at first seemed like a couple of weeks of vacations turned into forced leave by Tony Stark so, coming back into the field gave (y/n) something to keep her mind busy. She took a deep breath before entering the conference room where she saw that Natasha, Steve and Sam were already there.
“(Y/n).” Steve said, clearing his throat, not wanting her to know they were just talking about her. “Glad to have you back.”
“I’m glad to be back Cap. And-“ (y/n) took a pause and looked around the room. “I just want everyone to know that I don’t want any special treatment. I know Bucky was also assigned this mission, we’re both adults and can handle this situation as professionals. I don’t want our past to affect our jobs.”
Steve gave her a warm smile. “Please take a seat, we’ll be starting the brief in a couple of minutes.”
(Y/n) got lost in meaningless conversation with Natasha, soon after Wanda arrived and joined in. A few minutes later, Bucky arrived shocking everybody with his perfectly neat hair and serene appearance.
“Sorry for being late.” Was all he mumbled before taking a seat, not looking up at anyone.
The mission consisted of all of them traveling to some unknown part of the world. It was a pretty easy mission: go, get information, and get out without anyone noticing. They were set to leave the next day at dawn. As the meeting came to a close, everyone started leaving the room and so did (y/n). But before she could get to the doors, Nat intercepted her. Something seemed off.
“(Y/n) I want you to know I am so sorry. Truly. I never meant for any of this to happen, it was just that I was stupid and had way too much to drink and I just- I really messed up.” Natasha said, tears at the brink of her eyes. (Y/n) didn’t know what was happening, but as she turned around to see Sam and Steve with their heads in their hands, she started to understand.
“You told them?” She asked the redhead, much to her dismay she nodded. “Fuck.” Was all she could say, she couldn’t blame her friend and by the look on her face it was obviously not on purpose. The only thing that was left was to organize her ideas and face the two men.
“(Y/n). I need to know this isn’t going to change anything with the mission.” Steve started. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that Bucky doesn’t know, but I need my team to be ready for this.”
“Steve, I’m a professional spy, I can handle this.” (Y/n) said sternly.
“I also want you to know that I think he should know. He was going to be a father and the right thing to do is to tell him.” Steve told (y/n) looking into her eyes, seeing the fire building up.
“Steve,” (Y/n) said trying to calm herself. “First, I want to tell you how much I appreciate how worried you are about Bucky, I really do. But frankly, this is none of your concern. You may be the captain here, but you have no right telling me what I should or shouldn’t do in my personal life. Second of all, I have been a trained spy since I was twelve and have been working with you for the past eight years. You know me and because of that, you know that everything I’m doing has a reasoning behind it. So, I ask you to never question if what I’m doing is correct or not. Not in my personal life or in my professional work. I’ll get the fucking job done.”
With that said, and everyone in the room left speechless, (y/n) left the compound. She grabbed her car and left, not wanting to deal with anything that was happening. Before she noticed, she was driving back to her apartment in the city. It used to be her permanent residence but, it had too many memories. She decided to park her car a couple of blocks away from her building and walk back home, it was mostly her decision but also the parking situation in New York was vile. She felt the cold breeze on her cheeks and sloshing of somewhat melted snow on her boots, making her remember those first nights when Bucky and she were still hiding their relationship from everyone. Bucky would practically beg her to stay at his apartment.
“C’mon (y/n) let’s just go back to my place, there’s no need for you to stay here all alone.” Bucky said, wanting to spend more time with her.
“Buck, you know Steve could pop in at any moment! He’s got some weird attachment with you.” (Y/n) laughed and looked up at him. They had been going out for a couple of months, but this was their fifth official date, and they were both feeling like they were floating on clouds. “You just want me to go back to Brooklyn, so you have an excuse to show off your part of town.”
“I want you to go back with me to Brooklyn to spend more time together.” He said looking back at her with an amazing smile.
“You know that smile could melt any girl’s panties off.” (Y/n) laughed shaking her head.
“The real question is, do they melt yours?” He whispered in her ear.
She laughed even more and as they got to her building, she pulled on his leather jacket to push him closer to her. Planting a kiss on his lips, the only thing she said was “Come upstairs and we can find out.”
As their relationship grew, (Y/n) decided to get an apartment in Brooklyn. She had always said it was because her old landlord was always hiking up her rent and that she got a bad feeling about the guy. The truth was, she was spending most of her time in Brooklyn anyways it was just the right move. Plus, getting to spend Sunday mornings strolling through the farmers market with Bucky was one of her favorite things to do.
Before she knew it, (Y/n) was at her apartment door. She heard something coming from inside and with one swift move she entered, gun pointing at whatever the sound was. She silently went through each room and finally entered the bedroom. She let out a sigh and a small laugh as she saw the white cat purring on her bed.
“Alpine, you scared the shit out of me.” The cat only meowed back, she picked the cat up and sat back on the bed. “What are you doing here?”
It was as if the tiny furball understood her and leaped off the bed, walking casually to the kitchen and sitting in front of her food bowl. (Y/n) shook her head and looked through her cupboards to find the feline’s food. Alpine happily ate her meal while (Y/n) rummaged through the insane amounts of expired food.
(Y/n) thought her apartment would feel different and somewhat strange, but it looked intact. Like time had been paused and everything was as it should be. (Y/n) picked up her suits and some extra things she would be needing for the mission before grabbing the cat and heading out. (Y/n) thought of herself as more of a dog person, but as soon as she saw Bucky come in with the white cat she fell in love.
Bucky’s apartment was just a few blocks away but that walk seemed like a mission in and of itself. ‘Go to the building, get the spare key from inside the nearest air vent, enter the apartment, get water and food, leave the cat.’ She kept repeating this in her mind over and over. (Y/n) found the strength to go into the apartment and sighed as she saw the state it was in.
Bucky’s small apartment looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. Sheets on the floor, half empty takeout containers everywhere and a distinct smell of death. As soon as she started putting water in Alpine’s bowl, (y/n) heard the sound of heavy boots coming to a halt at the apartment door.
“Shit.” She whispered, hiding behind the counter.
From outside of the apartment, Bucky saw the shadows from underneath the door before hearing an intruder inside his home. He silently left the brown paper bag filled with groceries on the floor and took out his knives. Slowly turning the handle and entering his apartment. He saw Alpine happily drinking water, she looked back at her owner and meowed. Moving from where she was sitting and coming behind the counter. Meowing again.
Before Bucky could do anything, he saw (y/n) spring up with her hands holding a gun directly towards him.
“Drop the knife Buck.” She warned.
“Drop the gun Doll.” He replied before taking a step towards her. “You’re really pointing a gun at me in my own apartment?”
She cracked a smile and slowly put the gun on the counter, putting her hands up in surrender. Bucky smiled too and put the knife back in his pocket.
“What are you doing here?” He asked before going back outside for the groceries.
“Alpine decided to pay me a visit, she scared the living hell out of me. I thought someone had broken into my apartment.” (Y/n) said. “On that note, I’m sorry for breaking in. I just thought it would be better if I brought her back here.”
Bucky smiled in response and started to put the groceries in the refrigerator. “Want a beer?”
“You know we shouldn’t be drinking before a mission.” (Y/n) shook her head, smile still plastered on. “Plus, you know I hate beer.”
“I know, just wanted to tease you a bit.”
“Buck, we need to do something about your apartment. This whole situation” she said, motioning the whole scene. “is not healthy.”
Bucky let out a loud laugh and turned to her. “We’re not dating anymore, you can’t complain about the state of my apartment. This isn’t your jurisdiction anymore doll.”
His laughter died down as soon as he saw (y/n)’s expression. “Sorry.” He coughed. “Too soon to make jokes about us breaking up?”
(Y/n) let out a nervous laugh and started to feel the nervousness leave her body.
“I know last time we saw each other was pretty rough but, I-I’ve been seeing a therapist and-“ Bucky was interrupted by another shocked expression coming from his ex.
“You mean macho man, James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes, is seeing a therapist?” She smiled and added. “I’m messing with you, I’m really glad you’re seeing someone.”
“I’m not seeing someone, I just decided that sulking around was getting me nowhere and messing with the old brain.” Bucky chuckled. “You know I realized that, when we broke it off. I didn’t just lose a relationship, I also lost my best friend.”
(Y/n) looked down at her feet, ashamed.
“And you know, we’ll be working together so I just wanted to become civil.” Bucky said, trying not to show how petrified he was but, as he saw (y/n) smile everything else seemed to disappear.
“I want us to be civil too Buck.” She spoke.
“So, as my olive branch to you, I wanted to say that Nicholas looks like a nice guy. I’m sorry for how I treated him, and I hope everything works out with you guys.” He took a deep breath before saying his last part, something that he had been practicing with Dr. Raynor. “I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James Bucky Barnes and you’re part of my efforts to make amends.”
“That last part is usually, um, directed to other people.” He laughed.
“I think the olive branch is supposed to be directed to Nicholas.” She said smiling back at him. This is the Bucky she remembered, the one she fell in love with. Goofy and kind. “About Nicholas, we um- nothing ever really happened.”
“What do you mean? What did he do to you.” Bucky got defensive.
“No, nothing. He was really kind but, things just didn’t work out. Our time schedules didn’t really mix and at the end of the day we just decided not to go through with it.” She explained, looking through his refrigerator and grabbing a water bottle.
Bucky had to admit to himself that he was glad nothing ever happened between the two of them. “No one is ever going to be good enough for you. You’re amazing (y/n). And I’m saying that as a friend.”
“Well, as a friend, I’ll say thank you and that no one will ever be good enough to be with you either Buck.” She smiled back. “You’re incredible, even if you’re an old man who doesn’t know how to work a TV.”
Bucky feigned hurt. “Speaking of TV, I wanted to know if you know. Obviously as friends, we could maybe. I mean only if you want to and have nothing better to do. Um- if you wanted to stay over and maybe watch a movie or something.” He grabbed the back of his neck as he replied, feeling the heat rush to his cheeks.
“Just like the old days?” (Y/n) asked in a quiet voice.
After her answer he was filled with regret. “Yeah, it was a dumb idea. I wouldn’t want- you know,” He tried to look around for an excuse, or basically anything to get himself out of the situation. “I wouldn’t want Alpine to get confused and maybe think that we were getting back together- yeah just forget I said anything.”
“It’s fine,” She laughed. “I would actually really like to stay.”
“Really?” He asked surprised.
“You know, you were my best friend too. I need someone to watch scary movies with.” She replied, taking off her jacket and sitting down on the couch.
“What? You can’t sleep after watching a scary movie without having a gun underneath your pillow?”
“You know that was only one time!”
(Y/n) and Bucky spent the rest of the night talking over the movie that had been put on the screen. Reminiscing the time when they spent two weeks off in Italy, new training moves and other random gossip. One topic leading to the next.
“So, Rebecca’s boyfriend told her he didn’t have time to go out to brunch but then Isla saw him playing basketball?” Bucky asked, filling his mouth with another sushi roll and (y/n) shook her head.
“No, Isla is Rebecca’s ex-girlfriend. It was Isis who saw Rebecca’s boyfriend at the court. You know the one on Houston street?” She explained, taking a sip of the green tea that had been “accidentally” delivered to them. Bucky insisted the delivery kid gave (y/n) someone else’s tea, her beauty making the kid’s head spin. He assured her that the restaurant he always ordered from, never gave out anything for free.
“My question is, why do you know all of this gossip from the medical department?” Bucky laughed and (y/n) just replied with a shrug.
As the credits rolled on the screen, (y/n) noticed the time. “Wow, I hadn’t even looked at the clock, it’s already 12:30. It’s really late, I’ve got to be up by 5!”
(Y/n) stood up and slowly took her jacket in her hands, hoping Bucky would ask her to stay over. Bucky nodded and gulped down his food, heading towards the door to show (y/n) out even though she knew the apartment like the back of her hand. As she pets Alpine, (Y/n) looked back at Bucky. ““Hey Buck, you know to celebrate our newly rekindled friendship I wanted to ask a favor.”
Bucky furrowed his brows and quickly nodded. “Yes, whatever you want I’ll do.”
“I wanted to know if I can stay here tonight.” She asked quietly. “I don’t know what it is but, being here with you is easier to deal with than being back at my apartment. I kind of feel like, I don’t know- I just can’t deal with that right now not before a mission. Not before my first mission back I just-.”
“You know you can always stay here doll.” Bucky interrupted her, he saw she was getting frustrated, he came up to her and kissed her forehead. “I know what you mean.”
(Y/n) softly smiled and put her jacket down again.
“You still remember where my t-shirts are?” Bucky smiled, getting the kettle out to make some tea.
“Yes, I remember. Did you throw out my things or do I still have a spare suit and underwear here?” She teased back.
Bucky immediately blushed and nodded. “Yeah, everything is still there. Third drawer on the left side.”
(Y/n) hummed and went into the bedroom. It too was exactly like she remembered. She quickly got changed into one of Bucky’s old shirts and went back to the kitchen, a cup of tea already waiting for her.
“You can sleep on the bed, I’ll sleep out here.” Bucky told her, not looking up.
“Don’t be ridiculous Buck! This is your house, I can’t just kick you out of your room.”
“Doll, you know I don’t like that bed. I haven’t even slept in it since, well, since the last time you slept over.” He casually said.
(Y/n) widened her eyes. “You mean you haven’t slept in your bed in more than six months? You basically haven’t had a good night’s sleep in half a year?”
The former assassin shook his head and looked up with a smile. “You know, since you asked me for a favor. Can I ask you for one?”
“Anything.”
“Can we sleep together? I me-I mean can we sleep tonight, together tonight?” Bucky was trying to find the right words but everything he said came out wrong. “Not like that. I’m not begging to get laid. I’m just saying actually sleep in the same bed.”
(Y/n) let out a loud laugh. “Handsome, I know you don’t need to beg to get laid.”
Bucky turned a crimson shade of red in part because of her nickname for him and in part because of what she said. “I haven’t- since us. You know I haven’t, done that.”
“Me neither.” (Y/n) replied. She knew this whole conversation was wrong, they shouldn’t be talking about this. ‘Or should they? Friends talk about these kinds of things, right?’ She asked herself. She didn’t want to admit it but, she was glad no other woman had come back to his apartment.
Bucky broke (y/n) out of her trance with a cough. “I’m gonna go get changed.” She just nodded.
After a while the ex-couple found themselves in bed together. As (y/n) moved, the bed creaked.
“You haven’t changed your headboard?” She said shaking her head.
“It’s still good.” Bucky said tapping the wooden frame, like clockwork the old wood creaked again making a noise straight out of a horror scene. “I mean it was fine before you broke it.”
“Are you seriously trying to blame me for that?!” She laughed as she playfully slapped his chest, noticing the muscles. Bucky maybe hadn’t slept more than three hours since they broke up, but he had been going to the gym. And (Y/n) noticed.
“I mean it was technically you who broke it.” Bucky smiled back at her, looking down at her hand that was moving up and down his exposed chest. “Like what you see?”
Thank god for the dimmed lights, if it weren’t for them Bucky would have been able to see how hard (y/n) was blushing. She turned around so that her back was facing him. “I only broke it because you flung me into the bed!” She defended, remembering that night.
“I thought you liked it rough?” Bucky whispered into her ear, grabbing her hips, and pulling her closer to him.
“I do, but I think that night was-“ (Y/n) was trying to find the right words to describe that night. ‘That night was when you got me pregnant’ didn’t really roll off the tongue.
“That night was amazing, and you can’t deny it. You know we’ve got amazing chemistry in the sac doll.” He cut her off, tracing one finger from her shoulder to her knee.
“What makes you think I can’t deny it?” She questioned, trying hard to disguise her actual emotions. With one swift move, Bucky was pinning her down on the bed. Lips only an inch away. With one forearm propping his whole body up, his vibranium arm started tracing circles on her hipbone. Inching closer to where she desired the most.
“Tell me to stop.” He ordered. “Tell me to stop and I’ll do it.”
(Y/n)’s brain was having an internal battle. She knew this wasn’t how the night was supposed to go but she couldn’t get herself to do the right thing. So, next thing she knew her mouth started moving. “Please don’t stop.”
-.-.-.-.-.-.
The next day, Bucky and (Y/n) had agreed that the best thing to do was to enter the compound separately. Bucky had gone directly to the hangar where he saw Steve and Sam waiting.
“What’s going on, Bucky you’re scaring me.” Sam said, taking a step back looking at the soldier from head to toes. “You’re doing that weird thing with your face and you’re doing your happy walk.”
“It’s called a smile.” Bucky replied, ignoring the falcon.
“Why are you smiling?” He questioned.
“Do I need a reason to be smiling?” Bucky said.
“Yeah, you do, when you’re Bucky! You never smile, and if you do it it’s not at seven in the morning!” Sam said confused.
“Sam, let the man breathe.” Steve said, not looking up from the mission brief.
Bucky decided to change the subject. “Do you guys have an extra knife that I can borrow?”
“Okay. Man, now I know something’s going on! You don’t have your knife?!”
“Sam, seriously it’s 7:10 am. We need to get going, stop making a big deal out of everything! And Bucky, I know I said this mission was easy but really, you don’t bring your knives?” Steve said, shaking his head. “I have an extra one in my bag, you can get it when we’re on the plane.”
As Steve left to get on the plane, Sam turned to Bucky. “You may be able to fool that guy, but not me. You got laid last night, didn’t you?”
Bucky quickly shook his head with widened eyes and Sam let out a loud laugh. “Me and Redwing, we see everything.”
A few minutes later, Natasha, Wanda and (Y/n) arrived. As they were all walking towards the plane the ladies were falling behind. With Sam and Bucky following in front of them.
“C’mon (Y/n) are you gonna tell us?” Wanda said laughing a bit.
“You guys stop, I already said I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (Y/n) said as she kept on walking.
“You think we don’t know? Your hair is matted, and your smile is extending from ear to ear stop lying! We can almost smell the sex from all the way over here.” Wanda said, trying to get the spy to crack.
“Plus, we found an extra knife in your bag that isn’t yours!” Natasha said.
With that last comment, Sam stopped dead in his tracks and looked up at Bucky. As he saw his pleading eyes, Sam’s mouth fell open.
“Hey, um, (Y/n).” Bucky said, dripping with nervousness. “Sam wanted to ask you something. I think it’s gonna take a while, you ladies can get on the plane.”
Wanda and Natasha furrowed their eyebrows but kept on walking towards the plane as (Y/n) was left behind.
“You, you two. You and you, last night.” Sam kept mumbling over and over again.
Bucky and (Y/n) looked at each other in shock and all was left was to mutter a simple: “Fuck.”
Tags:
@ mxrvelinhrt @baby-banana @stucky-my-ship toothhurtyam @bluemoon-icecream @seybox @supraveng @jasmine19346 @what-a-beautiful-mess-i-made @maladaptivexxdaydreaming @confuscita @eviesaurusrex @girlfriday007 @starryeyeseunbyul @thevampire97 @sadisticfries @440mxs-wife @rslizj
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canumoveurseatup-no · 12 hours ago
ooh ohh!! may you please write a blurb about Plum being a complete mommy's girl and Bucky loving Reader and Plum's connection, but also wishing he had that with Plum!! can be slightly angsty but mostly fluff plz 🥺
AWH I ALWAYS IMAGINED PLUM BEING A DADDY’S GIRL 🥺 Plum is aged up a bit in this
———
“I don’t think she likes me very much,” Bucky sulked silently. He was watching you rock her back and forth in her arms as she slept.
“What would make you say that?” You frown at his words, “You’re her dad. She adores you, Buck,”
“But she doesn’t let me hold her when she cries, she doesn’t want me to help her when she’s sick. Only you, she won’t let me read her her favorite story. What’s wrong with me?”
“Baby,” you move Plum into his arms and she murmurs softly in her sleep, cuddling right into him “There are just some things mama does better. Ever notice notice how she doesn’t let me cut her pancakes? Or let me brush her teeth? She only likes it when you’re the one singing and dancing with her to her favorite kidz bop cd,”
“I don’t know… I just expected her to be a papa’s girl,” Bucky kisses the forehead of his gorgeous daughter, “I just don’t like it when she cries because of me,”
“She’s a mama and papa’s girl, Buck,” you run your hand over his head, “She cries because she’s an emotional character but we both handle it well. She loves you no matter what,”
Bucky wanted to believe your words but he’s seen how Plum is with you and he just feels it’s not like that with him. He’s glad you and her are the way that you two are, he just feels like he’s missing out sometimes.
“I feel like I’m a terrible dad somehow,” he huffed, not wanting tears to come to his eyes. Bucky always wanted to make sure he was the best dad he could be and he wasn’t feeling that, “I’ll be better. I just gotta find out what I’m doing wrong”
He was truly convinced something was wrong with his parenting, when he doesn’t realize your daughter adores him to the ends of the universe and back.
“She’s another you,” Bucky stared down at Plum and adores the way her brown cheeks shine and the way her mouth slightly hangs open as she sleeps, “I want to be the best dad I can for her. M-maybe she doesn’t have a strong connection with me because I-I don’t look like her,”
“Oh please,” you whisper yell and slap his shoulder, “You think she cares about that? She doesn’t know either. She knows you’re her dad! And nothing is gonna change that. I just happened to be the one carrying her for a good nine months so the connection is internal. My body created housed a soul. Connections are always different between parents,”
You miss his cheeks and you can tell your words mean something to him and helps relieve his stress for a minute.
“Doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. Doesn’t mean she’s not a papa’s girl. She’s our baby Bucky she’s gonna act different for each of us. That’s just the facts,”
“You’re right,” he kissed Plum’s head one more time and looks at you. He’s so blessed to have you two.
“But watch, I’m gonna win her heart fully and she’s gonna be team dad!,”
“One thing you need to realize is you already won her heart, baby”
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teebarnes · 10 hours ago
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Barnes' miscommunication | Bucky Barnes x Avenger!reader
Summary: Bucky was an idiot, and he tend to push away things he loved, and that included you. When he hurt you, he didn’t realise his apology would be too late. He didn’t know about your past with hydra, which made the situation, worse.
W/c: 5.2k (holy shit that's alot)
Warning(s): ANGST, weapons, harm (not on you), reader abilities, hydra, swearing!
A/N: A lot to write, I couldn’t find a good way to summarise this fic… you’ll just have to read it. There are -- read more-breaks for the story because it is so long.
Any likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Enjoy <33
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You were never one to talk; even before you were kidnapped by Hydra, you still didn't really speak. You were quiet and reserved; being an ex-hydra assassin just solidified your personality. There was a lot to know about you, but you never really shared anything about yourself when it came to it. Everyone knew you as Y/n Stark, 'the daughter of Tony and Pepper Stark' and the girl kidnapped when she was five, found by the avengers later in life.
You worked through a lot of things. The therapy Tony and Pepper signed you into helped with the nightmares, but that was about it. But even still, you weren't entirely there; if people didn't know you, your first impression was always coming off as rude and inconsiderate. And you supposed that after all your years working for Hydra, you probably were. You were very much closed off until you met Bucky Barnes.
Bucky Barnes, an ex-hydra assassin, was welcomed into the team just over a year and a half ago. Your dad agreed to the idea because he thought it might be nice for you to have someone else. One who had something in common with you other, both Natasha and Wanda.
Meeting Bucky was all to be expected; you both got along well, but never once had you shared something about your personal life. You were closed off, and although you and Bucky were civil. He, too, was the same. It was like two peas in a pod.
Over time, it became a love-hate relationship; you'd try your best to be on good terms with Bucky, but over time it felt like he had something against you. You and Bucky were at constant war with each other, and you didn't know what you did for him to hate you so much, or so you thought. You thought that maybe if you tried to tell him that you were an ex-hydra yourself, that may be the pair of you could bond a bit more. But your attempts to do so turned out in failure.
A simple smile would turn into Bucky turning his head away. A good morning, Bucky would walk away. There were definitely good days where he would talk to you, but it wouldn't last long. You guys just didn't really click anymore, and it had been over a year and a half since he had arrived.
Then, not too long ago, Bucky started playing pranks around the compound with Sam. It was their thing. One day when you were about to go on a mission with Nat and Steve, Bucky had accidentally hidden all of your mission weapons, thinking they were Nat's. So you, too, joined in on the fun; two could play at that game, Ex-hydra assassin vs Ex-hydra assassin.
Slowly, you began pranking him back, shaving cream in his boots, salt in his tea or replacing his daggers with dummy knives, just to name a few.
Bucky knew it was you, and he was finding this game pretty fun. There was never a malicious intent behind the minor pranks the both of you played on each other. This quickly became your thing with him and was the reason you two became close again. Spending more time together than usual, you'd spend nights watching films with him, playing board games or even chatting until the earlier hours of the morning. He'd find it weird that you'd be the only one up sometimes, but he never questions it.
It was odd; you were slowly but surely falling in love with Bucky Barnes. You didn't know why or how it happened, but that love for him was there. He made you feel something you had been missing for most of your life.
Love.
Bucky, too developed a love for you. He, too, didn't know where it began or how it happened, but he knew that after all his years of not having anyone, he wanted you. Now I suppose when you put two and two together, it's not hard to know that you and Bucky had a thing for each other; the whole team knew it. Your dad knew it too. However, it never went anywhere; You were just as awkward as each other.
Leading to a few nights ago.
There were three hydra missions scheduled in the week; you and Bucky had been assigned to one of the three. When he came back from his mission that day, he was drained and distraught. You went to welcome him home, but he walked right past you and up to his room.
Steve said something about Bucky seeing where they had tortured him for decades, the memories had got to him, and you understood. Steve thought you might be the best to comfort him, but Bucky still had no idea that you had worked for Hydra before, but you never shy away from the fact that you did. If someone asked, you would tell them. Which still confuses you, the fact that it never came up over the year you've known him. You thought surely someone would say something to him if you hadn't.
The only genuine person who ever understood your pain was Wanda. Both you and she were hydra experiments at the same time. You, her and Pietro. Escaping together because of Ultron, and that's how your dad found you. When Pietro died, it was like you were losing a brother. So you stuck by Wanda; she promised to protect you as you would in return. She was the only one to actually understand what you were going through.
Before the hydra mission, he promised that he'd have dinner with you. Something the pair of you had been doing for quite a while now. So here you were, keeping that promise. You stood outside Bucky's door, softly knocking. You had his dinner that you made in your hand, waiting for him to answer. When Bucky didn't answer, you carefully opened the door just a tiny bit to see him sitting at the end of his bed, gripping the sheets tight in his hand.
His little run-in at the Hydra base triggered something in him. It got under his skin, and he was furious. But you knew that; you sensed it as soon as you walked in the door, and little did he know, you could see what had happened. A soft frown appeared on your face as you walked closer, sitting just a bit away from him at the edge of his bed. "Buck? I made dinner," You called; he didn't answer, just sat there breathing heavily.
"Y/n go away," he warned.
Head tilted, you weren't having any of it. Out of anyone besides Wanda, you knew just how bad Hydra could get, and you didn't want him to be alone. "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere, you promised me dinner, and I made it especially for you." You softly spoke, taking a seat next to him.
He turned to you, looking you up and down. Laying a supporting hand on his back, you leaned down a bit to see his face. "You need someone; Steve told me what happened, and he thought I may be the best to--" you couldn't even finish your sentence before he snapped.
"Best to what, y/n? Understand me? NON of you understand me…" he growled. Sitting back a bit, you were stunned; you didn't know where this was coming from. "Bucky… I do understand. I've been trying to tell you for so long that I was-"
"NO y/n, you don't understand anything, you don't understand me, nobody does!" He yelled at you. You weren't scared; you were sad. You had never done anything for him to be this way to you, yet, here he was.
It hurt you to see him like this. "Bucky, please… I just."
"Get out! GET OUT OF MY ROOM; I hate you." Bucky turned, the words seething through his teeth. Your bottom lip quivered as you stood looking directly at him.
"You don't mean that.."
"I really thought that we were okay… I thought that-"
Bucky stood in front of you, your head looking up at him, "I SAID GET OUT Y/N." he pointed to the door.
A tear shed your face, setting the food down on the bed. You held in your whimpers, "W-well, at least eat. I made it just for you." You almost whispered to him. He watched as you walked away; he didn't realise what he had done. Shutting the door on the way out, you cried back to your quarters. Wanda caught you just in time, that sisterly sense she had when you were down. She sat with you all night while you told her what Bucky had said. You felt so stupid.
In the morning,
Bucky had awoken on his floor; getting up, he noticed the food sitting on his bed. Bucky couldn't remember much last night, only that he came home from the mission, and that was about it. He smiled upon seeing the wrapped food; you had written a note on it. The message you had stuck on it before you walked into his room last night because you thought he may have been in the showers.
"Because I know you like sushi, enjoy! :)"
Slipping on a shirt, Bucky collected the plate of food in his arm with a big smile on his face. Walking out and down the hall to your room, just as he was about to knock on the door. Wanda came storming down from the corridor.
"You son of a bitch!", she yelled slapping Bucky's face. The sushi you made, Bucky slipped from his hands, falling onto the floor in between Wanda and him. His mouth agape, he looked stunned. "If you are looking for Y/n, she's gone on her mission." she huffed out. Wanda gave him a nasty look before walking off. He turned quickly, running off to find Wanda. "Wanda? Wanda-" he stopped when he saw her in the kitchen.
"What do you want, Barnes!"
“I want to understand why you slapped me… What did I do? d-did something happen last night?" he asked. Wanda snapped her head in his direction, "Did you do something? Of course, you did!" She yelled. Bucky came closer to her, "I did? I seriously don't remember." he raised his hands up in defence. "I don't…" he hesitantly repeated.
"Well, this might help you!" Wanda brought her hands up, filling Bucky's mind with the memories of last night. It only took a few seconds for Bucky to fall onto his ass. He was speechless; he put his head into his hands. Wanda kneeled down, "What has she ever done to you?" she questions.
"Nothing Wanda… nothing… I don't even remember anything past coming home." He sighed. "I don't give a shit if you don't remember. Make it up to y/n! She loves you, for God sake, and this is how you treat her!" Wanda ranted mindlessly. "S-she loves me?" Bucky looked up and questioned.
Wanda gave him a shit-eating look, "Of course she loves you; everyone knows this!" She sighed, getting up. His face brightened, "I love her too, Wanda!" He spoke. He hadn't said this to anyone until this very moment, but he did love you. This was the reason; it was his fault for your rocky relationship with him. He was scared to love you, thinking you wouldn't love him in return.
Wanda turned around, shocked, "Then why tell the girl you love that you hated her." Bucky didn't know; he tried so hard to remember, "I got worked up over the mission yesterday, I set myself on auto-pilot. I'll make it up to her, I promise." He got up, trying to think about how to make it up to you.
"Bucky. I'm not in a forgiving mood right now. But just know, she has been through a lot, and you're the only one in this building which still doesn't know that. The best thing you can do is listen to her." She spoke before angrily taking her bowl of grapes with her out into the living room where Vision was.
~
Before the mission,
"Alright, it is a short but stealthy mission. Y/n, Steve, Nat and Clint, you'll be navigating this one." Fury spoke.
"There is intel that there could be valuable information on Hydra hard drives. We need you to extract them and burn any remaining evidence." He spoke again, everyone agreed, looking through the files. Nat had rested a firm hand on yours, "are you sure you're up for this?" She asked. You simply smiled, confirming her question with a nod.
Everyone in the room with you knew your history with Hydra; that's how you became an esteemed Avenger. Telling everyone your story led to you using your skills to help people around the world. It wasn't uncommon for them to occasionally ask if you were okay or wanted to stay behind if it ever came to a hydra mission.
Now hours later, you were on your way back to the compound. Pretty much feeling like shit. You were numb, and there was no energy left in you. Of course, you didn't let your team see it, but you were exhausted. You just wanted to take a nice shower, eat and sleep for days.
The quinjet landed, and everyone was dis-embarking the jet.
Being the last one out, you slowly made your way into the compound. Not wanting to see anyone, you made yourself a tiny portal to your room that you walked through; you couldn't care. You stood in the middle of your room, not knowing what to do with yourself. Sliding slowly against the end of your bed. Still, with your daggers and weapons attached to your mission suit. You curled up, hiding your face into your knees.
Bucky had run out from his room as soon as he heard the quinjet landing. He came into the bay, looking around for you, but all he could see was Steve, Nat and Clint. Steve smiled upon seeing his best friend, "Hey Jerk, how was your day?" Steve asked, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
"Uh… not great… where's y/n?" Bucky asked, running his hand through his hair. Nat, Clint and Steve all turned their head to look at each other before looking at Bucky. "In her room, catching an early night." Steve smiled, "Steve… I screwed up!" Bucky panicked.
Clint and Nat were putting away their things while Steve stayed with Bucky. "Buck… I don't know what to say." Steve lightly spoke. "Give y/n some time. But not today." Nat spoke before walking out the doors with Clint. Bucky looked back at Steve, "What's with everyone telling me not to bother her today? Wanda, Sam… even Tony has said the same thing."
"This mission was draining for her," Steve advised his friend before giving him another reassuring pat on the back. "If you really want to know, without bother y/n. Just ask Tony. I'm sure he'll tell you." Steve smiled, walking off.
Tony was focused on his tech while Bruce was working at his computer, Bucky had walked in, and without looking up, Tony spoke. "What did you do to my daughter, Barnes?" He questioned. Bucky stood there feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Tony… I really am. The mission got to me, and I took it out on her." Tony looked up from his laptop, "have you apologised to her?" Bucky shook his head. "Good. Like I said earlier, let her cool down." He spoke before going back to working on his tech.
Bucky stood there trying to say something, "Is there something else, Barnes?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you about." this made Tony sigh. A hand running down his chin, Tony gives Bruce a look. Walking over, he patted the surface of Bucky's back, "Come… sit", he spoke, taking a seat at one of the lab tables. "By what she tells me, you don't know that she was an ex-hydra assassin, correct?" Bucky's face was confused. He was taken aback. "Well, I'm taking that as a yes."
"You know I'm surprised that you've never come across her..." Tony continued. Bucky was wide-eyed; oh, he knew he was such an idiot. "If my time calculation is right, you would've been there the same time as her." looking directly at Bucky, "You're going to have to ask her yourself about her past. Seeing as I know about last night and the fact that you love my daughter." he let out a slight smirk. "I advise that you do one hell of a job to make sure she knows you love her." He spoke. Bucky nodded, and there Tony was, telling you bits of your story.
"I've spent almost two years not knowing she was a part of Hydra? God, I'm so stupid." he sighed, "Tony, I really am sorry." Bucky looked at him. "Don't tell me that; tell her that, bud."
He thought back to all of the times you were with him, all the times you tried to tell him. So when you said you understood him, you really were telling him the truth. Although he couldn't remember the conversation between you two last night, he knew from what Wanda had shown him.
~
Getting into the shower, you stood underneath the running water for quite a while.
Your thoughts floating in your head, this mission had torn you to pieces, physically and mentally. It had drained you, and all you needed was to regain your health. Cleaning yourself off and washing your hair, you spent a few minutes more under the running water. Thinking about the mission and about Bucky. Bucky was on your mind; you confided in him. He was like your best friend, so you didn't know how to feel when he did this. You tried the entire night to understand his feelings, but you weren't genuinely processing it.
~
Bucky was walking back to the main quarters when he heard your angered scream, "BUCKY FUCKING BARNES," looking at yourself in the mirrors. Your hair was a mix of pink and green. You furiously went into your showering, grabbing the shampoo and conditioner bottle, checking the contents; it was dye.
Bucky ran up the stairs, coming out into the halls where Sam was standing just a bit away from your room. Then it clicked; Sam turned to Bucky, "I thought you took it out of her shower." Bucky mentally face-palmed himself. "I forgot! I forgot!" Nat and Wanda were coming out of their rooms; they looked at each other with an 'oh fuck look'. Bucky turned to Wanda and Nat, who looked like they were going to kill him. "I'm sorry!" He panicked.
You were a mix of furious and sad; you paced around your room with tears streaming uncontrollably down your face. You dried your hair, slipping into a comfy jumper, some tights, and your combat boots. You pulled the hood over your head, grabbing your daggers. All you saw was red. Today all you needed was a nice shower, to have some food, put your mission gear away and then head to bed. But this was it, that was the cherry on top; you let the emotions run free.
You came out of your room to see Wanda, Nat, Sam, Clint and Vision standing there. "Where's Barnes!" You yelled at them. "H-here." Bucky came out from the staircase; your eyes snapped in his direction. Sam stood in front of your path, "y/n… y/n it was me. I'm-" you were still fuming; you had used your abilities to throw him out of your path. Clint came in sight, and you did the same thing to him.
Storming towards Bucky, your dagger was in your hand. Bucky stood there, not really know what to do. You kicked his chest in with much force that he went flying onto the ground. Groaning, you stalked closers, kneeling onto his chest, and he let you. You pulled the dagger to his throat. When you aggressively took the hoodie off to reveal your face, he could see you were crying. "You think this is fucking funny, Barnes?" You yelled at him, "I have done nothing but be nice to you!" You continued yelling at him.
Nat came in from behind you, but Bucky shook his head, "It's okay, Nat, let her." He groaned as you pushed into his chest. Still, with a dagger to his throat, he looked into your eyes as your cried. "I… I get it… I get that you hate me! I get it!" You cried out in anger. Everyone didn't really know what to do or how to react. They all just stood there watching.
"Y/n… please sweet. You're hurting him." Wanda spoke, your face dropped a bit, turning to Wanda, your eyes darkened, you couldn't get it out of your head. She saw it; she saw this look once before. This just made you a hundred times more dangerous, and you knew she wouldn't get in your way.
Turning back to Barnes, he was looking at you. "A-all I wanted was to come home, have a fucking shower and go to sleep." Your anger is apparent to him. The angrier you got, your hair began to strip of pink and green, turning into a jet black colour.
"I've called Tony," Clint reassured.
Bucky lifted his hand, he tried to caress your face, but you quickly swatted it away, "y/n… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you…" he furrowed his brows, trying to bring back the y/n he loved. Your whimpers heard from him, "what did I do! What did I do for you not to like me." You yelled into his face. "I don't hate you Y/n… I promise you, I lo-" he stopped when you pushed the dagger further into his neck. You were too angry to let him speak; you couldn't.
Steve and Tony running up the stairs, Bucky briefly looked at Steve.
A black glow emitting from your other hand, and your eyes darkened more. Tony looked at Wanda and nodded. With a flick of her hands, she sent the dagger flying from your hands. Looking at Wanda, your eyes widened. Before you could do anything else, you were pulled off Bucky by the waist. "Hey… hey honey." You looked back to see your dad, a frown set upon your face as you dropped your hands; you gave in once you saw your dad.
Steve was helping Bucky up while everyone just stood there as you cried into your dad's arms, whimpering into his chest. He brought you into a tight hug caressing your back. Bruce came from behind, sedating you with an injection. Your eyed dilated slightly as you looked at your dad with pleas before falling limp into his arms.
Everyone watched, your hair turning back into its original colour. Bucky felt guilty, nor did he know that you had any abilities. Tony looks at Bucky shaking his head in disappointment before picking you up, carrying your sleeping body back to your room. "Friday, get Pepper over here," Tony spoke. "Right away, Tony."
"So everyone saw that?" Sam asked, "Y/n has powers?"
"Yes, she does, and it's none of your business." Wanda shook her head, walking off with Nat. Bucky was catching his breath as Steve held onto him. "I fucked up, Steve… I really did." He felt so bad. Steve looked at him with sympathy. "C'mon, Bud, let's get you back to your room. We can discuss this tomorrow." He spoke. Bucky looked at his best friend, "But I need her to know that I'm sorry… Steve, I need to tell her that I love her." He was almost in tears. "And you will tomorrow. The dose Bruce gave her will last until morning." Steve said.
Bucky sighed, nodding in defeat as he made his way to his bed. "Just trying and get some sleep, Buck." Steve closed the door behind him. Bucky laid on his bed, looking up at the ceiling all night, trying to think of how to tell you he was sorry.
~
"They were eventually going to find out how bad she could get..." Tony spoke, running his hand down his face, "I told you and Fury not to put her on that mission, Tony." Pepper quietly yelled at him. They both turned your way, watching as you slept softly under your sheets. "She said she was okay; I trust her, Pep. Who am I if I am not to trust our own daughter's words?" Tony sighed. Pepper's arms folded, she took a seat right next to you, caressing the hair out of your face. "Is Bucky okay?" Pepper asked; Tony rolled his eyes. "He's okay; Steve said he keeps going on about apologising."
"Are you going to let him apologise?" Pepper asked Tony.
"Mh… I'm thinking about it."
"Tony…"
"Yes, okay… I'm not one to stop metal arm from apologising." Tony replied.
"Don't call him that," Pepper spoke, giving your forehead a kiss. "Okay... sorry," he whined before doing the same, pulling your duvets up to keep you warm…
Groaning, your eyes flutter open. You didn't move; you just stared at the ceiling. You remembered everything last night, and you felt guilty for what you had done to Bucky. Laying amongst your pillows, you continued to stare at the ceiling.
It was maybe about 45 minutes later when a soft knock on your door lured you from your daze. Bucky knocking on the door didn't bother you. You just continued your stare into the void.
On the outside of the door were Bucky and Tony. Tony stared at Bucky, whispering. "Go in, Manchurian Candidate. We don't have all day." Tony spoke, opening the door, pushing Bucky in before closing the door behind him. You were awake and unbothered by his presence.
He walked towards your bed, taking a seat next to you. "I made you your favourite." He lightly smiled; you softly turned your head to look at him then to the plate of food. Bucky indeed made your favourite food, but you had no words. You didn't say anything but turned back to stare at the ceiling. Bucky placed the plate on your bedside table. Lying right next to you, he sighed.
"Y/n… I'm really sorry about last night and the night before. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I just wasn't in the right headspace, and I took it out on you" He quietly spoke. "I'm really sorry..."
"I know there have been multiple times you've tried to tell me that you were kidnapped by Hydra… and I'm sorry it took me until now to know." He turned to you as you tensed. He was exploring your features, the ones he had grown to love since the day he first met you.
"And I-" Bucky went to speak, but you cut him off, "Do you hate me?" You quietly asked, still with your eyes to the ceiling. Bucky shook his head, "I could never hate you y/n." "Then why say it?" You asked him again. "Because I was an idiot. I was angry, but I didn't mean any of it. I was so caught up in the mission that I took it out on you." he looked down at his hands.
"It was like I lost myself when I got back to the compound. But that is no excuse for what I did to you, and for that, I will spend however long it takes to make it up to you." You turned to look at him, and he was already looking at you. Sympathy in his eyes, you knew he was genuinely sorry.
"I never meant to hurt you last night, Buck. I'm really sorry, I feel horrible." He smiled lightly at you, "You don't need to be sorry. I understand how you felt, and I'm an idiot. I never wanted to hurt you."
And like any other conversation of yours, the pair of you started fighting again.
"But you did-"
"I know I did-"
"What did I do, Bucky? Where did I go wrong?"
"Nowhere… you didn't do anything."
"But then why-" you were thinking out loud, and you didn't mean to; the words were just slipping out.
"Because I love you, okay? I love you y/n! And I am so angry with myself that waited this long to tell-"
"I love you too..." You cut in. "I know you do," you spoke again.
"You know?" Bucky questioned. You nodded, "I have been able to read your mind since the day you step foot inside this compound, Bucky. I've loved you even before you started liking me." you sent him a small smile.
He went to speak but quickly shut his mouth, taking the advice that Tony gave him about listening to you. "And when you told me you hated me, I couldn't read your mind. I couldn't tell myself that you were lying and that you said it out of the moment." A tear fell down your face. Bucky rested his hand on your cheek, lightly caressing away the tears. "I've spent months trying to tell you so you knew you could talk to me. Because I understood. I wanted you to know that we had something in common. I wanted you to know that I loved you. But you never gave me that chance."
"All the times you would turn away from me, or ignore me or even go as far as to telling the team that you didn't want to go on missions with me."
"I tried because I thought you hated me…. Until that day, when you came home, and I had made you tacos. That was the first time I heard your mind again; I had heard you say that you loved me."
Bucky smiled; he remembered that day. Thinking back to it now, he knew he never said it, but he felt it because it was true. "So you knew what I've been thinking this whole time?" He quietly asked; you nodded softly.
"So, how about now?" He asked.
You furrowed your brows and then heard it, I love you, Y/n.
A small smile paved your face, "yeah... I heard that." he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your lips which you returned.
He thought again, I'm so sorry for everything… I can't lose you, not when I've barely had you. I'm trying my best, for you and for me.
Your eyes opened back up, you stared into his eyes. "I forgive you, Bucky. Just please don't hurt me again." You whispered.
Bucky gave you a nod, kissing your forehead. "I will never hurt you again."
With the soft blink of your eyes, you believed him. You opened up your blanket, inviting him in. He took his shoes off and slide in next to you, pulling you into his arms. You smiled as he held you close to him. "Y/n?" Bucky whispered. You looked up to him humming in response.
"If it's not too much to ask, could you show me your past?" He asked; you thought about it for a second before gently nodding. Bringing your hand up, placing your hand softly on his forehead. Cuddled up together, you confided in him once and, going back to show him what you'd been trying to tell him from the very start.
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biisexualemma · 16 hours ago
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old friends. bucky barnes
word count: 1.7k
warnings: swearing, angst, mention of killing, guns, knives, lots of sarcasm and anger all the good stuff
requested: heey love! just saw that your requests are open and I thought I could request a Bucky oneshot because I am really in love with your writing. so, here's the idea: the reader is a skilled assassin herself but is more like an antihero. somehow she encounters the avengers, like Sam or Steve maybe, which is how she gets to know Bucky. They start to evolve feelings for each other blabla until one day buck looses control and beats her up like really really bad cause she doesn't wanna fight him back. I'd love to leave the ending and details up to you!
a/n: i have a couple other parts already written for this and while this particular part doesn't completely fulfil the request, it is the start of something along those lines so hang in there! this is just the beginning!
masterlist
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you held your gun at arms length, eyes darting around the hallway as you scoped out your surroundings. your feet padded along the concrete hallway, your body clad in a skintight leather suit that was chafing your thighs like crazy. your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, turning another corner to find it empty like all the rest. you let out a humph, your eyebrows knitting for a second as you lowered your gun.
"what the hell?" you muttered under your breath. you tucked your gun back into the holster before continuing down the hallway until you reached a dead end and a single door. your hand hovered over your gun as you pushed the door. you rattled the door handle but it didn't budge. you took a few steps back before running at the door and slamming your shoulder into it with a thud.
suddenly the door cracked open and you went flying inside the room, stumbling over your own feet. your hand quickly grabbed your gun as you tried to regain yourself. your eyes travelled up, the same time you lifted your gun and in front of you stood a round of familiar faces. your eyes practically rolled to the back of your head as you straightened yourself out.
"oh god," you let out an audible groan. "what the hell are you guys doing here?"
"we could ask you the same thing," sam quipped back. you sent him a glare out the corner of your eye before redirecting your attention to steve who stood at the forefront of the team of avengers.
"god, you cock blocks always ruin my fun," your hand remained glued to the gun you held out aiming at steve, who was eyeing you up with caution.
"i wouldn't call disrupting a military organised rescue mission fun," sam couldn't help himself. you got on every one of his last nerves and you loved it.
you shrugged. "well that's why we could never be friends, bird man," you rolled your eyes back over to when he cleared his throat to intervene.
"enough," you sneered at the way he lowered his voice. "if you don't turn around and leave, we have no choice but to take you in— you know that."
"or maybe i could just go ahead and kill all of you," your smile dropped from your lips, watching steves frown deepen because he knew what kind of threat you were. "then you wouldn't have to do anything."
"c'mon, y/n," tony spoke up. you glanced at him for the first time since you barged in. the man you probably hated most out of them all. you didn't give him more than a glance.
"none of you have any idea who's dirty work you're doing here," you fought back, your grip growing tighter on the handle of your gun. your teeth gritted. "always blindly following orders, hm?"
"and what about you?" natasha couldn't hold her tongue any longer. you cocked an eyebrow, pursing your lips as the red head spoke up. "how long were you under dreykov's thumb for?"
you clenched your jaw, you took a few angry steps closer before swinging your arm so the gun faced natasha now. "you are a traitor and a coward, and you have no idea what you're talking about," you spat hastily. she didn't flinch, her arms remained folded across her chest, staring down the barrel of the gun.
"alright— enough!" steve intervened again, slapping the gun out of natasha's face. she huffed and turned away from you. "will you put that gun away for christ sake, nobody's killing anyone today."
you gritted your teeth, breathing through your nose to steady yourself. you had once gotten along with the avengers until they turned their back on you. and seeing them again was bringing back old feelings.
"you always did take her side in a fight," you dropped your gun down for a second, backing towards the door but you were halted. your back collided into another person, you turned around and saw a man staring down at you, blocking your way out. he had long, dark hair covering most of his face but the pair of piercing blue eyes was what caught your attention first. you took a step back as he towered over you, your gun slipping for a split second but you recovered quickly and tightened your grip.
"hang on—" your eyebrows knitted together as you came to a sudden realisation. "how the hell did you get your hands on the winter soldier?" your eyes trailed up and down him, his expression staying the same until you uttered the name. his jaw tightened as he glanced down at his feet for a second.
he shook his head, meeting your eyes again before he spoke. “that's not my name."
"oh really?" you teased, eyebrow twitching upwards. "we've met before, if you want me to jog your memory?” you followed his gaze as he tried to avoid your piercing stare. he shook his head a little softer this time. you gritted your teeth. "you tried to kill me."
he faltered for a split second but quickly tried to disguise it. he sniffed, shaking his head again. "i had no control—"
"oh, well that makes all the trauma you inflicted ok then—"
"y/n!" steve growled, cutting you short as his patience began to wear thin with you. it always did, you knew how to push every one of their buttons.
"cut it out, kid. you made your point," tony mumbled, his eyes struggling to meet yours. you shook your head.
"i can't believe i ever associated with you cranks."
"she was an avenger?" a voice you didn't recognise spoke for the first time, you frowned. it was young, girl-ish and wearing spandex.
"no," you narrowed your eyes at him and he seemed to shrink back away from you. you glanced at tony again. "you're recruiting kids now? that must be sitting nicely on your conscience, tony."
"i'm not a kid," the spandex clad kid in the corner tried lowering his voice to disguise himself but he'd already given himself away.
"have fun dealing with that weight when he gets killed, alright?" you teased a little too darkly.
"you never did know when to stop talking," clint chimed in for the first time.
"how's the wife and kids, barton? haven't paid them a visit in a while— 'they still living out in—"
he took a step forward, his hand moving to grab an arrow, his bow swinging up to face you but it was natasha who held out her hand to stop him.
"always so dramatic," you rolled your eyes, turning away from the gang and back to where the winter soldier stood blocking your exit. you look him up and down again. "steve, you wanna tell your guard dog to move out of my way or do i have to make him?"
"you can't leave, you're involved," steve was short, he was trying not to lose his temper with you. you made it incredibly hard for anyone to be nice to you.
"also, you just told us you came here to deliberately sabotage this mission," sam added. "we can’t just let you leave to finish off what you started."
you eyed them both up irritably. realistically you had no way of leaving if they were going to try and stop you. you were greatly outnumbered.
you humphed. "what're you gonna do with me anyhow? guarantee you'll be sick of me in a couple hours and you'll have wished you let me go right now."
"it's not up to us," tony shook his head. "you've got a lot of people looking to hold you accountable for some pretty serious shit."
you shook your head, chewing on your bottom lip. "assholes," you murmured, more to yourself than to them directly. you narrowed your eyes at him, eyebrows furrowing at the tone tony was taking with you. "if i remember correctly, you've all done some pretty serious shit in the past but i don't see that catching up with any of you."
"it's not the same—" tony shook his head but you cut him off.
"no because you have money, a shit tonne of it, so you can make it go away," you humphed, eyes dragging away from tony. "i don't see natasha being held accountable— and trust me—if you think i'm bad—“
"will you shut it," natasha snapped, her fists clenching at her side.
you let out a soft smirk, seeing her breathing heavy out the corner of you eye. "full house," you mumbled under your breath, amused that you got a rise out of every one of them in a matter of minutes. "you're all so easy."
"you're coming with us," steve ignored your comment, nodding to bucky. he picked up his shield and walked passed you without even a glance in your direction.
"fat chance," you scoffed, but before you could reach for your gun again, you were swiftly disarmed by the winter soldier. he tucked your gun away and made to grab your wrists, only for you to smack his hands away. you shook your right arm downwards, letting your backup knife fall from your sleeve and into your palm. you lifted it to his neck, the blade pressed up against his skin. "try to touch me again and i swear to god i'll kill you."
he didn't seem to flinch. he picked up on the slight tremble in your grip that might have gone unnoticed by anyone else. bucky gave you a second before catching you off guard and slapping the knife away from his throat, his hand catching your wrist before prying it out of your grip.
you huffed. "you're making the wrong call following them," you teased as he spun you around, yanking your hands behind your back and restraining your wrists with a zip tie. "trust me, you'll regret it. and i think you have enough regret to last you a lifetime, and then some.”
he turned back round to face him, his breath fanning your face he had leaned in so close to you. "why would i trust anything you say?"
you shrugged, your lips dipping down for a second. "that’s fair— you probably shouldn't."
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neptunight · 14 hours ago
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Looking for comfort.
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summary: you had a weird dream and just want buckys warmth.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader.
warnings: just fluff.
word count: 390
a/n: this just came to me when i had a weird uncomfy dream last night. hope this is brings you comfort if ever needed. i’m back to writing after years, so bear with me ok?! thank you. ♡
more of my writing if interested. 
isn't the dreams you were conscious but not in control of anything, the worst kind? the weird feeling of being trapped inside of your own imagination and no where to run.
the desperation of trying to wake up was getting into me, how do i wake myself up?
and suddenly, not even moving my body, i open my eyes, with a gasp leaving my mouth, i try to breath and get away from the weird feeling of not belonging in this existence.
i'm laying on my back, i turn my head to the side but keeping light movements, to not wake the man sleeping beside me, even though i find that hard to do.
bucky is a heavy sleeper, he might never admit that, but i, better than anyone, know that it is in fact the true.
not that it's something bad, i kinda like that, at least knowing that when he's not having nightmares, he gets a good night of sleep.
moving slowly, i turn on my side, where i'm facing his back and hug him. my face is close to his neck, i close my eyes as i can smell his hair, and his skin, trying to calm myself and fall back to a normal sleep i hope.
"honey, you awake?" i hear him whisper, and open my eyes.
"yes, did i wake you up? i'm sorry"
"it's ok... had a nightmare?"
"no, just a dream that made me feel kinda weird. why?"
"your heart is beating really fast. you sure it wasn't a nightmare?" he turns to face me.
"yeah, don't worry" i say trying to give him a small smile.
"ok then" he gives a small smile back but still looks worried in his eyes before he closes them again. i can tell.
"bucky?"
"yeah"
"can you hold me?" i say, almost whispering with how low my voice was.
he open his eyes again, "of course baby, anything for you" he says, as he gives me a small kiss on my forehead and put his arms around me protectively. protecting... which i don't even know from who... my mind i guess. he, better than anyone, knows what needing grounding from your own mind feels like.
and just like that, i feel the sleep going back to my body, but this time, with calmness in my heart.
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chloelucia13 · 2 days ago
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Nothing Personal: Chapter 8
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!reader (enemies to lovers)
Prompt: Bucky’s public appearance was lacking in the… well, everything department. And now, with him fully being in the public eye as the new Captain America’s right hand man, that needed to be fixed. That brought you into the equation, someone who seemed to be the direct opposite of the White Wolf. Bubbly, friendly, the perfect PR girlfriend for the grumpy man. Whether he liked it or not.
Chapter Summary: Time makes the heart grow fonder, at least that’s what they say. You thought you’d finally let go, but the world likes to keep you on your toes. (Word count: 5047)
Warnings: mostly angst, some fluff, language, mentions of cheating, mentions of drinking
A/N: Holy cow guys! It’s the last chapter! We’ve made it! But don’t worry, I’ll also be posting an epilogue and I can always do drabbles for these guys! As always, my taglists, messages, and inbox are open!
Catch up here!
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Two years is a long time.
Two whole years had gone by, two Christmases, two birthdays, two Halloweens. The third year was creeping up, whizzing past New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s day.
Time seemed to slow down, though, on March 10, 2028. Truly, time basically screeched to a halt for the past two March 10′s, but for some reason, it was more noticeable this time around.
Maybe it was because you realized that it had been three whole years now since you’d met Bucky. Maybe it was because he was now 111, one of your lucky numbers. Maybe it was because you thought back to that party you threw him for his 108th, how he told you all that time ago that he never wanted you.
Nevertheless, your mind was flooded with ideas of what you would’ve gotten him for his birthday. A new pair of combat boots, a nice homemade dinner and dessert, a day off from all the craziness in his life. 
Maybe just a hug would’ve been enough for him.
During that first year, when you weren’t engulfed in your thoughts of Bucky, you were actively searching for work. It was hard getting a job when you moved back down to Louisiana. Being the ex-girlfriend of an American hero isn’t really good publicity.
Luckily, the only people who didn't care about your relationship status were kids, so you got a job at the local elementary school as a teaching assistant.
It was nice. The kids were cute, the job just covered your rent, and you got free lunch. It was... peaceful.
Well, it was peaceful until you’d reach the World War II section in history and you’d have to stare down at photos of the Howling Commandos, of Bucky Barnes himself. Obviously, the kids weren’t oblivious to news. They’d see Bucky’s face and make the connection, and once they did, the questions about him were endless. Of course, they were harmless and pretty cute if you were being honest, but it still stung.
The most common question was about what he was like, and it was a hard question for you to answer. You didn’t know what he was like. To others, he was kind and playful but still stoic. He was like that with you a few times. But mostly, all you saw of him was cold, distant, and reserved. But the kids didn’t want to hear that.
“He was a brave man, and he cared a lot about the people he loved,” you’d tell them with a smile, and after a while, it felt true.
Other than the few rare days that stood out for one reason or another, every other day blurred together until it had finally reached the Fourth of July.
Sam, Mr. Captain America himself, had it in his mind that he had some patriotic duty to take upon himself. thus he decided to hold a large event at the docks, complete with food and fireworks, and of course, photo ops with Captain America and the Winter Soldier.
You stared at the flyer that sat on the top of the pile you were holding. Winter Soldier.
“You’ve got a stink face goin’ on,” Sam teased, nudging your shoulder. He stared down at the flyers, sighing. “Listen, I don’t want him anywhere near you, but it’s for the family business. And besides, I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“White Wolf,” you spoke, looking up at Sam.
“What?”
“I remember Bucky telling you once that he preferred White Wolf over the Winter Soldier. But these flyers say Winter Soldier.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Come on, he screwed you over and you’re making sure he gets called what he’s comfortable with?”
You shrugged. “Just forget I said anything.” You grabbed the tape gun from Sam’s hands and began to rip off a few pieces.
“Hey, hey, slow down.” He took the flyers and the tape gun from your hands. “You’re right. We’ll go and fix them.”
You gave him a nod, a small smile quirking on your lips.
***
Organizing a party was hard enough as it is. Having to organize a party for hundreds of people while having the fear of seeing Bucky once more looming over you? Nearly impossible.
You sat on Sarah’s couch, your head in your hands as you tried to physically soothe your migraine. “Tell me again why we have to do fireworks?” you grumbled.
“Because they’re fun!” AJ piped up, earning a hum of agreement from Sam.
“And expensive! And dangerous! Did y’all forget that we’re doing this on a wooden dock?”
“Oh come on, Y/N, get into the spirit!” Sam whined, shoving your shoulder.
“God, you’re obnoxious.” You leaned back on the couch. “You do understand that this is in 2 days, right? I have no idea where we’re gonna get all of these fireworks from.”
“It’ll be fine, you stress too much.”
As you were about to open your mouth to argue, a knock sounded at the door. You rose from your seat, and you didn’t notice the look Sam and Sarah shared. “I got it, I need a break from this.”
“No, no, I’ve got it,” Sam spoke up, rushing over to you. 
“Sam, I’m like five feet from the door, it’s fine.” You rolled your eyes at him and continued walking, reaching out and gripping the doorknob.
“Y/N, I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”
You looked over your shoulder and gave him a weird look, stopping for a moment to think about what he was saying. With a shrug, you turned back to the door and opened it.
Shit.
“Y/N,” Bucky breathed out, his eyes meeting yours as he stood up straight. 
You gulped. “James,” you spoke curtly, taking a few steps back. You wanted to walk away, to turn on your heel and run as fast as possible in the other direction. But you were frozen, lost in a trance as you stared into his eyes.
Sam appeared behind you, placing his hands on your shoulders and pulling you from your stupor. “This is what I was talking about,” he hissed in your ear before jerking his head to one side, signaling over at the open side door. You gave him a nod and slipped away, wrapping your arms around yourself.
Footsteps sounded behind you as you sat down on the porch steps, your back tensing as you contemplated turning around to see who was coming.
“You okay?” Sarah spoke, settling down next to you and nudging your shoulders with hers. 
A sigh left your lips. “I don’t know,” you told her.
It was true. Part of you was happy to see him in the flesh after all of these years, see his blue eyes glisten in a way that couldn’t be caught on camera. You wanted to hug him, to beg him for another chance, to kiss him just once. The other part of you a jumbled mess of heavy emotions. Anger, regret, misery, wariness. You didn’t know if you wanted to scream at him, cry, vomit, or hold him close to you.
***
It had been a rough couple of years for Bucky.
After everything fell apart, after he lost you, no one wanted to talk to him for awhile. He understood why, of course, and he knew he’d do the same if he was in their shoes. Jess didn’t even talk to him, other than her confirming that the arrangement was over with and having him sign a few things.
During that time of loneliness, he thought a lot about what you’d told him. God, how could he even try to forget what you said. Every word, every cry, every strangled gasp of breath was ingrained in his mind, playing on a constant loop.
It wasn’t the 40′s and he couldn’t hop form girl to girl like he used to or blame his dumb actions on said girls. You told him he was free now that the relationship was over, when the last thing he felt was free when you let him go. You never wanted to see his face again. You gave everything up for him, and you did it because you loved him. He broke you.
Then he looked back on the past four months, all the effort you put into the relationship. Your birthday party for him, complete with a bonfire when you wanted to burn the tabloids that put him in a bad light.
You were so adamant on showing him that he wasn’t a monster, while everything he had done to you was nothing short of monstrous. 
Hell, you almost died for him, let yourself get tortured for hours on end because you wouldn’t give up where he was. He wished he could say that he knew he was in love with you he found you clinging on to life, but it wasn’t. He wished he could say he was stubborn up to that point. 
Truly, he fell in love with you that first night at the bar wearing your pretty sundress and your signature beaming smile on your face. He remembered that he wished he could taste the sugary drink on your lips, get drunk off of you and let himself give in. 
His thoughts traveled to that first night he spent with you, your limbs tangled together and his lips latched onto yours to make up for lost time. You didn’t even need to have any liquor on your lips for him to feel intoxicated. It was the first time he felt that way in close to a century, the hazy dreamlike state that made his head spin as he craved more. 
If he did sleep, he’d fall asleep on the carpet of your old room, imprints still left in the fabric from your bed frame and your bookshelves and your desk. His cheek would be pressed against the carpet, leaving a pattern on his skin when he’d inevitably wake a few hours later from a nightmare.
He didn’t dream of his days as the Winter Soldier like he used to. Now, he dreamt of your tear-soaked cheeks, your pleas for him to stay, your ragged sobs. He dreamt of Steve who was disappointed in the man he became, the man who’d hurt someone so easily. He dreamt of you and Steve ignoring his pleas for you both to stay, you two had your backs turned to him as you walked away and faded from his view.
After a few months, Sam gave in and spoke to Bucky again. Bucky had suspected Maria Hill had something to do with it as she was worried about his reckless solo missions that usually ended with him in the medical bay. They’d joined back together, but it took about another 12 months for the two to get close to the way things were. But it would never be the same, they both knew that.
Wanda had barely spoken a word to him in two years, and it was only after his 111th birthday when she’d found him sobbing in your old room that she let her walls down slightly. 
“Bucky?” Wanda spoke, peeking her head through the cracked door.
Bucky sat on the floor, his back propped up against the wall and his head in his hands. His legs were pulled up to his chest and his elbows rested on his knees. His whole body shook with sobs, and when his fingers weren’t scrubbing away the tears on his cheeks, they were tugging at his long and tangled waves.
“Bucky,” Wanda gasped, stepping inside and rushing over to him. “Are you okay?”
At her voice, he froze for a moment. His hands retreated from his face and he stared up at her, his lower lip quivering. “I can’t close my eyes, Wanda,” he rasped.
“What do you mean?”
“Every time I close my eyes, I see her. I... I can’t do it anymore. I miss her so much it hurts.”
She bit back the snide comments that rested on her tongue. Instead, she stayed silent, settling onto her knees next to him.
“A picture came up in my notifications, from three years ago. It was the birthday party she threw for me.” He held back a sob, unlocking his phone and sliding it over to her. 
On the screen was a Facebook post (she made a mental note to tease him later for still using Facebook) that one of the party’s attendees made three years ago, popping up as a memory in his notifications. The post was a collage of photos. Photos of the scenic lake, of Bucky staring distastefully at the cake you made him, at your face smiling up at him while he was giving you a tight-lipped almost-grimace, of your face and Bucky’s illuminated by the bonfire. 
“I love her,” he admitted, staring up at the ceiling. “I love her so much and I just want to see her one more time, but I can’t and it hurts so bad.”
Her lips pressed into a fine line. “I know, Bucky.”
“Can...” He sniffled, wiping the tears from his cheeks before looking at Wanda. “Can you do something? Please? Just... do something with my mind so I can see her one more time?”
The request took Wanda aback. For as long as she’d known Bucky, he was adamant that he didn’t want anyone in his mind, that he had enough of people being in his mind for ten lifetimes. Now he was begging her to manipulate him, to project something in his mind that wasn’t real just so he could feel a sliver of peace. But did he deserve the peace, a momentary refrain from all of the guilt he held for hurting you? “You know I can’t do that. You... You need to feel what you did. You can’t forget it.”
He nodded, his head bowing. “Trust me, I’ll feel it for the rest of my life.”
It was true. He’d felt that pain since you left, settled deep in his stomach and sitting heavy like a stone. After that day, it became more present, that stone sitting heavy on his chest and making it hard to breathe.
But when he saw you on the other side of the door, caught off guard with a smile teasing on your lips, that weight was lifted for a moment, and he finally was able to breathe. 
He stared into your eyes, and he knew that if his hands weren’t occupied with holding his few bags, he’d be pulling you into his arms and kissing you like he’d fantasized every night for the past few years. Maybe you’d let him, maybe you’d pull him just as close and melt into him. Or maybe you’d slap him, wrestling out of his hold before cursing him out. He knew he didn’t deserve the former. He knew he deserved the latter.
But a man could hope, right?
Before he knew it, you were rushing away, shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around yourself. That’s all that he could catch before you slipped out the side door. He watched Sam and Sarah share a look before Sarah directed her two young boys to go to their rooms and she followed you out the back door.
“She still can’t look at me,” Bucky spoke before he could stop himself. 
Sam let out a huff, leading Bucky inside and taking his bags. “Don’t tell me you’re surprised,” Sam sassed, glancing back at Bucky as he led him back to the guest room. “You know what you did to her.”
Bucky nodded, lips pursed. “I know.”
Sam set Bucky’s admittedly-light bags next to the bed, moving to the doorway when Bucky sat down on the bed. “Just try and keep your distance from her.”
Again, Bucky nodded, staring at his hands in his lap. “Promise.”
As Sam turned to leave, Bucky spoke once more. “Can you tell her I’m sorry?” he rasped, voice barely above a whisper. “It’s... It’s not enough, I know that, but I just want her to hear it.”
Sam let out a sigh, incredulously shaking his head before turning back to Bucky and giving him a small smile. “I’ll tell her,” he agreed before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.
***
“Sam, I truly have no idea how you bought 100 pounds of fireworks,” you grunted, tugging the seran-wrapped box off of the truck bed. “I don’t even know where we’re gonna set these up. Or if I can even get them off the truck.”
“Oh come on, I thought you were a strong woman,” Sam joked, grinning at you before ushering you to the side so he could have a crack at the box. Bracing himself, he wrapped both arms around the box and tugged with all of his might, only for it to budge slightly. 
You let out a laugh. “I thought you had some superhero workout regimen you stick to?” 
He rolled his eyes. “It’s mostly legs. Can’t have a tree without a good trunk.”
As you and Sam continued half-joking-half-bickering, Bucky silently stepped over. The moment your gaze fell on him, you went quiet, watching his every move. 
Bucky picked up the box with ease, holding it in his arms and looking at you. “Where do you need it?” he asked.
Your brows knit together for just a split second before you let a small smile crack on your face. “You can just set it down for now,” you spoke with a hint of trepidation. 
He nodded, placing the box down in front of you.
“Thank you, James.”
He let himself savor the heat that flooded his cheeks and the flutter in his chest when you finally spoke to him. “Of course,” he spoke finally, clenching his hands at his sides to keep from reaching out for yours.
You two stood there for a moment, tension hanging heavy in the air as your eyes stayed locked on his.
You forgot how blue they were, how they held so much emotion if he let them. There was something in his eyes as he stared, something you thought you could place but were too fearful to hope for.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll come get you when we need it moved,” you breathed out, breaking eye contact to stare down at the box.
His lips pursed for a moment before he let out a hum of agreement and walked away.
“What the hell was that?” Sam scoffed, waving a hand in front of your face. “I thought you were done with him.”
“I am,” you argued, sitting down on the box.
“I think your googly eyes say otherwise.” He seemed upset, and you knew why. You were upset for the same reason.
It wasn't fair that Bucky could just worm his way back into your heart, making you swoon over him despite how much he hurt you.
“Just drop it. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Sam let out a sigh, squatting down in front of you so you two were eye-level. “I’m sorry,” he spoke, patting your leg. “I just don’t want you getting hurt again.”
“I know.”
There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. “Do you still love him?”
Your heart sunk to your stomach. You’d been asking yourself that question ever since that day, and every time, you’d come up with the same answer, no matter how much you hated it. “I... I think so, yeah.” You sniffled, putting your head in your hands. “God, I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re not.” Sam grabbed both your hands and held them in his own. “I’m gonna tell you something you might not like.”
You huffed out a small laugh through your nose. “That’s all you do, Sam.”
“Bucky’s hurting too.” 
“Sam-”
“Hey, just listen.” He waited until your lips were pursed shut before continuing. “I know love when I see it, and I know that Bucky loves you. Truly, no matter how much of an asshole he is.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you and Buck are my friends, and you’re both hurting because of each other. I just want you two to be happy, but I don't want you to do anything you don’t want to do. Just... Think about it, okay?”
You reluctantly nodded. “Okay.”
***
The event turned out to be much bigger than you’d expected. 
As you talked to some of the attendees while helping out with a little bit of everything, you found that people had driven from states away just to get a chance to meet Sam and Bucky. It was crazy to you, seeing the boy you’d grown up with be such an idol in someone else’s eyes.
You tried to stay as low-key as possible during the night, but there were quite a few people who had recognized you from the paparazzi photos. They’d ask about you and Bucky, about why you broke up, and you’d just have to smile and give them some weak explanation about how you two were better as friends.
Everything seemed to die down as the sun set and the photo ops between Sam and Bucky had ended. As soon as you got the chance, you escaped from the crowd to sit at the end of the dock, feet hanging over the edge as you stared out at the water.
Though your eyes didn’t move away from the horizon, you could tell that someone had sat down next to you.
“They really like you,” you spoke.
Bucky shrugged, fiddling with his hands. “I think they really just like Sam,” he argued, stealing a glance at your profile once every few moments.
“Well everyone was asking me about you, so I’d have to argue against that.”
His shoulders slouched slightly. “I’m sorry.”
You shrugged. “I was expecting it. A lot of my kids ask about you too, so I’ve had some practice.”
“Kids?”
“I’m a teacher now.”
A smile settled on his face. “That’s good. I bet they love you.”
“They tolerate me,” you teased, a smile cracking on your lips as well.
There was a beat of silence, but the tension that was there earlier no longer sat in the air. After a moment, you turned to face him. The waves that once only fell to his temple now skimmed just below his jawline and a few strands were tucked behind his ear. You were pretty jealous of how good it looked, you had to admit.
“Your hair is longer,” you pointed out. “It’s still wavy.”
“Someone told me once that they liked my hair when it was wavy,” he hummed, looking at you. “I don’t remember who, though.”
“Hmm, I wonder who it was.”
He grinned. “Maybe I’ll remember someday so I can thank them.”
You let out a laugh, pressing your forehead against his shoulder. 
You don’t know the tears that flowed down your cheeks, the sobs that strangled your throat after just a few moments. Maybe it was because you had finally touched him, felt the heat of his body underneath you. Maybe you were reminded of everything you’d never have.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he whispered when he felt your fingers tightening around his leather jacket, heard the sobs bubbling past your lips. His arm wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.
You pulled a fist away from his jacket before slamming it down, hitting him in his shoulder. “Why’d you do it?” you cried out, hitting him again and again. “Why the fuck did you do it?”
“Y/N-”
“You broke me, James. I hate you.”
Those words hit harder than any of the feeble punches you were throwing, knocking the breath from his lungs. He pulled you closer, pressing your face into his clavicle and he rested his chin on your head. “I’m so sorry, doll.”
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.” You let out a wail, slumping against him. “Why did you do it? What was wrong with me?”
“Nothing is wrong with you. God, you’re... You’re perfect. You’re too perfect for me. I just... I couldn’t let myself have anything good.”
“You’re such a fucking idiot.”
He nodded. “I know.”
“I gave you all of me, and now I have nothing left. I can’t feel anything anymore, James. But I still love you. I don’t know why, but I do.”
He was silent, his eyes closed as he took in your words. 
He loved you. He knew he did. Why couldn’t he just say it? 
With a sniffle, you wiggled yourself out of his grip and rose to your feet, wrapping your arms around yourself. “Goodbye, James. I hope you’ll be able to heal from all of this,” you spoke with a sense of finality, not even sparing him a glance as you turned on your heel.
Bucky watched as you walked away, your dress blowing in the wind. He remembered that dress.
It wasn’t until you were halfway down the dock for him to finally snap out of his stupor, jumping to his feet. “I remember” he yelled, his hands shaking. 
You stopped in your tracks, scrubbing the tears off of your face before you glanced back at him. “What?” you shouted back, waiting for a moment before shaking your head and continuing to walk.
Bucky felt the panic flood his veins as his body worked on autopilot, breaking into a run to try and catch you before it was too late. When he was only a few feet away, he spoke again. “You wore that dress on our first date. At the bar.”
That made you fully freeze, glancing down at the dress that you’d absentmindedly threw on this morning.
“You look just as beautiful in it as you did that night. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that night.”
He stepped over to you, walking around until you two were face-to-face. 
“I’m sorry for it all.”
“James-” “There’s a lot of things I need to apologize for, and I don’t know where to start. But I’ve been trying to get better, to let myself have people close to me. To let myself love again. You made me want to do that. I was so scared of letting myself love again, letting myself be vulnerable, that I hurt you more than I thought possible. I’m so fucking stupid for doing any of that to you, for letting a woman as amazing as you slip right through my fingers when you were the best thing I’ve ever had. But I didn’t even have you. A-And I guess maybe I had this issue with control, that I was so scared of letting you go on your own, letting you make your own decision to leave me, that I just had to push you away myself so I knew why you left. I just... couldn’t let myself get too close because I might lose control.”
you could hear the quiver in his voice, and though you didn’t dare look at his face, you could tell that he was crying. His voice held that certain husk that you’d heard only once, and it made your heart shatter. 
“Why are you telling me this?” you whispered.
“Because I care about you.”
You nodded, looking over at the setting sun on the horizon. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you think that if we met under normal circumstances, if we weren’t forced into a relationship, we would’ve worked out? Do you think that you... That you’d love me?”
“Oh, doll,” he whispered both of his hands cupping your cheeks and tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “I love you now. I-I’ve always loved you.”
“When was the last time you told someone that?” There was a hint of annoyance in your voice.
He sucked in a shaky breath. “Probably to my mom. Or to Steve.”
You gulped. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”
“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through, and I’m sorry that I hurt you so bad.”
His eyes were swimming with tears, but you could tell that his words were honest. You could see the admiration in his eyes, the emotion he’d tried so hard to hide until now. “James-”
“I think I knew that night at the bar that I was in love with you. God, you were just so perfect and beautiful. And you’ve only gotten better.”
You knew he could feel the heat that flooded your cheeks at his words. “I guess I’m finally getting a glimpse of that flirty ladies man I’ve heard so much about.”
“I wanna show you who I am. I... I want to try again. I want to give you the love you deserve. Take you out on dates and kiss you and... I just want to be yours.” There was a moment of silence as he searched your eyes. “But I know that I don’t deserve that chance, and I understand if you won’t give it to me. We can never see each other again. Whatever you want.”
You tugged your lower lip between your teeth in thought, staring into the vast oceans of blue that swirled in his eyes. “I want to start from the beginning,” you spoke finally. “I want to know all of your favorite things. I want to know the real you. And we’ll just see where that takes us.” Your hands moved up, resting on his and linking your fingers together. “How does that sound?”
“That sounds perfect, pretty girl.” A smile broke across his face, crinkling the corners of his still-damp eyes. “I’d do anything for you.”
“Promise?”
He nodded, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. “Cross my heart.” He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Before we start from scratch, can I get one last kiss?”
You let out a laugh, bumping your nose with his. “Just one.”
“That’s all I need.”
With no hesitation, his lips captured yours, his hands holding you as close as possible as he poured every last emotion into the kiss. His lips and yours still tasted of saline, but it was perfect. It was everything you needed.
You two jumped apart as a boom sounded in the sky, and you both looked up to see fireworks exploding above your heads. “He was definitely timing that,” you joked, looking over at Bucky to watch the colorful lights dance over his face. “These lights sure are flattering on you, James.”
He sighed, turning to face you. “Doll, if you keep calling me James I might just cry again.”
You grinned. “Bucky.”
He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you against his chest. “That’s more like it.” He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours once more.
“Hey, you said one kiss,” you playfully whined against his lips.
“Yeah, but we were interrupted. Now, let me get my kiss.” He kissed you again before pulling away, staring at your lips. “Okay, one more.” Another kiss. “Hold on, just one more.” Another kiss. “One last kiss.” Another kiss. “I lied. One more.” His lips melted against yours as you melted into him, hands gripping at his biceps. “Hmm, maybe one more.”
“Bucky!”
---
Tags: @summerdaughter​​, @spid3rgwen​, @girlfriday007​, @lmaosupertuff​, @pansexualproblemchild​, @toothhurtyam​, @claudiaatje​, @angstysebfan​, @tyzerman91​, @hawsx3​, @slut-for-buck, @foggyempathfireperson, @etherealghostface​, @bby-aj​, @stolenxkissess​, @joseyrw​, @aperiya, @mooonlitstars​, @tyzerman91​, @stumbleonmywords​, @geekanista​, @imtaashu​, @440mxs-wife​, @havesaltwilltravel, @cxddlyash​, @lukesaprince​, @lilbean-2002​, @vghz82​, @joannie95​, @sharanyasrivastava​
138 notes · View notes
Hi Em!!!!!!!!! How are you love!!?? Over here with the worst month of my life 💔😓
Can I request a Bucky x Fem! Reader oneshot?? ✨❤️
Everyone except Tony and Wanda hated the reader because of her family, who had been part of the creation of the winter soldier. When a simple mission goes awry and Bucky is seriously injured, Steve, Nat, and Sam blame the reader for breaking away from him while she was downloading information about the Winter Soldier's mysterious nurse. Y/n tries to get close to him and Steve doesn't allow it, she gets really upset and confesses that she was Bucky's nurse, that it was that project and that her family never loved her, but they didn't believe her until she put a hand in Bucky (her crush) who, when he wakes up, watches her fall to the ground and panics for not knowing what had happened and the last thing she said before everything's went black is that she loves him. Once the tower, they explain everything that had happened while they are in the medical wing waiting for her to open her eyes and tell him everything she feels for her.
Something like enemies to lovers? Hahahahahaha
Thank you so much beauty ✨❤️ greetings from Argentina ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Of course! Starting now! 💕
Heres the fic!
https://howdoyouknowaboutgandalf.tumblr.com/post/662870012013445120/do-you-remember
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imagine-universes · 2 days ago
Text
BAD DAY | BUCKY BARNES X READER |
Pairing: BUCKY BARNES x unleveled READER (Y/N)
Requested by: ANON
Summary: The one in which Y/N realizes there's an intruder on their house and Bucky is their only help.
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1.283
Words used that you might not know the meaning off: fat head (a 40's insult for when someone is annoying), dish (an attractive person)
Warnings: None I think, besides a small mention of had had sex previously.
A/N: Well, this is my very first imagine done by someone who requested it, I hope the work is what you were searching for, I'll apologize in advance because today has been a pretty stressful day and quite frankly it's not the best work I've wrote. Also, please remember to read my pines before requesting, I would have make it smut if I knew if the request was for a MLM or a WLM. Thanks still, I'm sorry it's not the best, I didn't want to publish it late, this being the first
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Y/N was used to hard days, they worked and studied in collage, sometimes they just wanted to come home and drown on their bed. Today, was one of those days.
They had woken up pretty early today, before the sun had even risen to get to do everything they had on their to-do list.
First had been some daily exercise as every doctor would recommend, followed for a healthy meal after a nice, warm shower, all morning had been spent on collage, studying for the upcoming exams, because yeah, the teachers had had the brilliant idea to start off this year with an evaluation exam, all the students were exited about it, for sure. That followed a nice meal with their class mates on the neighborhood’s pizza palace, to later leave for their job all afternoon.
Now it was past 9 o’clock, it was pitch black on the dark alleys where they lived. They felt as tired as if they had run a whole marathon, which in some way it could have been considered so, as they had run from their house, to collage, to the pizza place, to work and later on to catch the bus, their legs were giving out slowly, a couch, that’s all they needed, a nice, confortable couch.
Y/N got their apartment, slowly, the old couple on the left side of the floor had salute them like every night, they were so nice, they thought, Y/N used to dream about growing old with someone, but as their relationships had gone lately, those seemed closer to dreams than reality.
They had finally arrived in front of their house, just when they were going to pushed the door’s key in, they saw how the door being already opened…which made them get still on their seat. They couldn’t move, someone was inside their house, they could hear noises inside.
Soon enough they snapped out of it and realized they needed to search for some kind of weapon, something to get inside their house in case the person who had gotten in was still there, but they couldn’t even find anything pointing to use as a weapon, the only thing they had on hand was a phone, and let’s be honest, you couldn’t do much with that, unless they pulled a Hawkeye and throw it to the exact point, in the exact angle…but they weren’t Hawkeye, in fact they were no Avengers, the closes they had gotten to be any good at valance was back when they were a waiter at the restaurant downstairs and didn’t broke the plates…which they ended up doing and getting fired for it.
It was then when it hit them, Bucky…god please let Bucky be at home, god please…That’s what they were basically praying inside their mind, they moved, slowly, calling for Bucky on the other side of the floor, careful to not let the intruder hear them were there, thankfully soon enough Bucky opened the door fast, he always had a good hearing, he used to make fun of them, in a friendly way of course, because they made lot of noise at morning, tripping on things, cursing at other things, he used to called them “the noisy one” every time they meet up on the elevator, in fact that’s how they had met, and since then they became friends…or something like that, as they weren’t strictly friends after the random nights they had been together, from time to time they would just feel lonely, or Bucky would, they knew who he was, what he went through, it wasn’t the first time that they had shared a bottle of the best Scotch Leah had on her bar. It had been Leah who had got them an apartment offer on that same building actually.
- Hey, Y/N… - Bucky said as soon as he opened the door - Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Why are you shaking? - He asked after giving them a proper look, they were probably looking like a scared little boy about to be scolded or something they thought.
- I…there’s…- They struggled to talk - I’m….there’s someone on my apartment, can I…Can I come in? - They said, feeling how they shake even though Bucky had his hands on them. He just nodded after looking outside and let them in. - I’m sorry, Bucky…I just didn’t know where to go or what to do, I really have nothing on me at the moment in order to get in and… - They started but Bucky cut them mid sentence.
- Don’t mention it, darling… - He said, they loved the way he talked, it reminded them to the summers in which they spent with their grandfather watching 40’s movies - It’s quite better to have come here than go up against whoever it is in your apartment, any idea who it is?
- I…not really - They said leaving the jacket on the couch as many other times they had done - Could be a random robbery…could be my ex…
- Him again? - Bucky asked now visually angry.
- It’s ok - They said sitting down on the couch.
- Obviously it isn’t…Isn’t it enough that fat head idiot calls you non stop and bothers your friends but he also breaks in your apartment? Come on…I’ll finish this now, don’t worry. - Bucky said on his way to the door just in time for Y/N to stop him.
- Bucky, seriously, it’s ok…I’ll just call the cops, alright, they’ll be here in any minute… - They said and Bucky stopped walking towards the door, listening to them, just before they started walking back to the couch, took their phone on their hands and called 911, after the call ended they just stood there, still shaking a bit, sitting down slowly on the couch.
- Hey, hey, hey….Are you ok? - Bucky said walking to where they were and sitting down with them, holding them around the soldiers - It’ll be ok, dish…Don’t worry, alright? The cops would be here in any moment. - He smiled, that sweet smile of his that Y/N loved so much, they just smiled back, a bit calmer than they were before.
Time passed by and they were calm now, looking around the small apartment - Still no bed? - They laughed. Bucky just smiled back.
- I’m still not use to it.
- Wonder what the ladies would say about that… - They teased.
- They wouldn’t say anything - Bucky said dryly - As there’s nothing to say….there are no ladies coming here - He finished, it was no secret both of them felt things for each other, way more things that just friendship between neighbors, they had spent nights together, days together, they have done those “it doesn’t mean anything” nights, but in reality it did, it always does for at least someone.
Bucky walked up to them, while they were standing next to the window, watching how the far city was full of lights, even on a rainy night like this, New York was alive. He took them in, close to him and without warning kiss them,…Y/N wasn’t sure how to react, should they keep going with the kiss? Should they end it? Would this made everything more complicated, they did not know, but things kept moving, the kiss kept going, without realizing it Y/N was kissing him now, slowly, tasting the beer on his lips, feeling the breath against their mouth, they had dread these moments so much, suddenly a knock on the door made them stop, it was the cops, who finally had showed up, at the worst moment really, as Y/N thought.
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bucky-fricking-barnes · 3 days ago
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Too Much
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 5,899
Warnings: Sensory overload, canonical cursing
Summary: As part of the Avengers, you do your best to keep your team grounded and connected so that you can work together as best as possible, but even you have your off days. When Bucky discovers you struggling, he comes up with as many ways as possible to help you should it ever happen again.
A/N: My first Marvel fic! This is based on a somewhat personal experience. I hope you all enjoy. Please reblog and let me know what you think!
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You had always been someone that people counted on to be calm and collected. You’d been told dozens—hundreds—of times, both by people growing up and by your found family, that you were an anchor for them. The Avengers appreciated your abilities on missions and in everyday life. They could count on your calming presence even in the most chaotic battles, and they often sought you out on their darkest days. You kept them grounded, most of all Bucky.
The two of you had become friends, then a couple, after he’d started living at the Avengers’ compound. Before that, you’d only heard about him from Steve’s stories, and once from a briefing with Director Fury after they’d discovered the Winter Soldier’s identity. Bucky had moved in less than a year after you and when you received the news of his arrival, you’d immediately decided that you would help him feel as welcome as possible. He was going to be part of your team now. He was going to be one of the people counting on you, and someone with his history and background was bound to need people around him that were amicable, but also people that could also act as anchors when things got rough. You knew that Steve would want you to be looking out for his closest and oldest friend, so you’d done what you do best—you inserted yourself into Bucky’s life, becoming someone he could count on and that he could trust.
His room was only a few doors down from yours and you quickly realized that the two of you had similar schedules. So, in an attempt to foster a friendship, you walked with him to and from the training rooms, the conference room, and even the kitchen. Bucky never attempted to deter you from walking with him, though he stayed stoically silent for the first few weeks. You did too, other than to greet him and say goodbye. You kept your distance.
Then, one day, in a move that surprised even him, Bucky offered you one of the wireless earbuds that Sam had given him. Shocked that he was even using Sam’s gift, you took it and hesitantly put it into your ear. As soon as you heard what he was listening to, you smiled. The song was by a fairly well-known band, but it was from one of their less popular albums and it was one of your favorites.
“You like this song too?” you asked him, but Bucky only shrugged and kept his eyes forward as the two of you finished your walk to the gym. A small smile tugged at his lips, and when you tried to return the earbud before you parted ways at the door of the training room, Bucky stepped out of your reach. The song changed, this time to one you didn’t recognize.
“Keep it,” he said. “Give it back afterwards.”
Your heart leapt at his words. He’d never spoken directly to you before. You’d barely even heard him speak.  “Don’t you want it so you can listen to your music while you work out?”
He shrugged, a slight smile still on his face. “Maybe I want someone else to be able to listen to it, too.”
Without another word, Bucky turned and headed towards the part of the training room that housed the weights. You watched him leave, your mind echoing with thoughts of how much you enjoyed watching him walk away, but also with the music he’d chosen for you to listen to. It wasn’t your normal style of music, but there was something distinctly… Bucky, about it.
You listened to Bucky’s playlist for the duration of your training that day. When you finally finished, drenched in sweat, stomach growling, and muscles aching, he was waiting for you at the door with his phone in hand. You watched him as you collected your things. He scrolled through whatever he was looking at in silence, completely ignoring the agents walking in and out of the training room.
He looks relaxed, you thought as you picked up your water bottle and started making your way towards him. He looks like he belongs here.
As soon as you were within earshot, Bucky looked up and met your gaze. A little zing! went through your heart and your breath caught in your throat for a moment before your lungs forced the exhale.
“Are you ready?” he asked, and you nodded. A stupid smile made its way onto your face as you pulled the earbud from your ear and held it out for him. Bucky took it, smiling as well, and held both earbuds in the palm of his real hand.
The two of you left the gym and headed back towards the residential wing of the compound. He didn’t speak, so you stayed silent until you reached your room.
“You’ve got good taste in music,” you finally told him as you slowed to a stop.
Bucky stopped in front of you, his back towards his own room. “I do?”
Chuckling softly, you nodded. “Yeah, you do. I mean, I didn’t know a lot of the songs, but they were pretty good. I’ll have to find your playlist and add them to mine.” He frowned, making you laugh again. “I’ll show you how to find my playlist tomorrow, how’s that?”
“That sounds good,” he replied. Another smile made its way onto his face and you couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I made Bucky Barnes smile. Multiple times! Maybe I’m making more progress on this friendship thing than I thought.
“See you tomorrow, Y/N,” Bucky said, pulling you from your thoughts.
You nodded and pressed your thumb to the scanner outside your door. The panel popped open with a hiss and a soft click, and you offered Bucky a smile as he turned to leave.
“See you tomorrow!”
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The next morning, Bucky left his room at the same time he always did. It didn’t matter that he’d been up for hours at that point, just staring at the clock and trying to find ways to occupy himself to avoid the nightmares that were waiting for him if he fell asleep. He left at the same time to head to the kitchen because he knew that Y/N expected him at that time. There were dark circles under his eyes and he was pretty sure the shirt he’d pulled on that morning was the same one from a few days ago, but hopefully she wouldn’t notice. She seemed like the kind of person who would worry. At least, that’s the impression he’d got from her interactions with Steve and the other Avengers.
Does she worry about me?
Bucky frowned when he stepped out of his room. The hallway was unusually empty and silent, and Bucky waited outside his door for a minute before scanning his thumb and going back inside.
Once the door was shut, he asked, “FRIDAY?”
The AI responded immediately. “Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”
He’d expected the quick reply, but it took everything in him not to jump at the voice coming from somewhere in the ceiling. It felt like it got louder every time. “Was there a mission this morning that I wasn’t told about?”
“All Avengers are present in the compound. Are you looking for somebody, Sergeant Barnes? I can give you their location.”
Bucky hesitated. Would Y/N consider it a breach of her privacy if he asked FRIDAY for her location? He wouldn’t want her or Steve doing that for him. Then again, if she was sick or hurt in her room and no one knew, he might be the only person who would think to look for her, and in those situations, time was of the essence.
“Yes, can you tell me where Y/N is?” he asked, his worry for her well-being winning out over everything else.
“Miss Y/L/N is in her room. She seems distressed. Would you like me to tell her you are looking for her?” FRIDAY asked.
“No!” Bucky quickly replied, though it came out louder than he’d intended. He cleared his throat, trying not to shout this time. “No, I’ll find her on my own. Thank you, FRIDAY.”
The AI didn’t say anything further and Bucky sat down on the edge of his bed, mulling over what it had told him. 
Y/N’s distressed? Should I go check on her? Are we close enough for me to do that, or should I go get Steve? Then again, if I get Steve, he’s gonna wanna know how I know that something’s going on with Y/N…
Bucky shook his head and stood up again. He’d go check on Y/N once, just to make sure she wasn’t sick or hurt. If she needed some space today, he would be okay with that. He understood needing space. He’d go find breakfast on his own and then find something else to do with his time. She could show him how to search for playlists another time, or he could ask the internet. What was it that Steve had suggested he do? Goggles? Google?
No, he thought after a second, shaking his head. I’m not asking the internet for that kind of stuff when someone can help me. I’ll just wait until Y/N’s ready to show me.
Heading back out into the hallway, Bucky walked to Y/N’s room and knocked three times on the door. There was a shuffling noise inside the room, and then a few moments later, the door slid open.
Y/N stood in the threshold to her room and Bucky quickly looked her over, searching for signs of illness or injury. There was nothing, but he could tell that something was off. She smiled, though he knew in an instant that it was weak and forced. It wasn’t Y/N’s normal smile.
“Hey Bucky!”
His heart grew warm at the sound of her voice, pulling a smile onto his face before he could stop it.
“Hi, Y/N. Is everything alright?” he asked.
She faltered. “Yeah, why?”
“Usually you’re heading to breakfast around now. You’re not sick, are you?”
“I’m just not really hungry this morning,” Y/N said. Her smile was even weaker now and her eyes had grown glassy. “Actually, I remembered that I’ve got some stuff I have to take care of today, so can I show you how to look for playlists another day? Maybe tomorrow?”
Now Bucky was really worried. Y/N’s voice had grown tight by the end of her sentence and her shoulders were pulled up with tension. Everything about her screamed stress and anxiety and he could feel his own heart speeding up in response. She’d even begun to inch the door closed while they talked.
“Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine,” Bucky answered, nodding and trying to keep his voice upbeat.
Y/N didn’t relax at all as she gave him another forced smile and thanked him. She said goodbye, then shut the door in his face.
What’s going on? She’s never like this. Did I do something? Did she finally realize that I’m poison? That she shouldn’t be around me?
Without realizing it, Bucky walked down the hall, took the elevator away from the residential wing, and then made his way to the communal living areas. His feet carried him to the kitchen, working on autopilot. He stopped only when Steve stepped into his path and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. Bucky recoiled and pulled himself away, his focus snapping back into the present.
“Buck?” Steve asked, worry heavy in his voice. “You okay?”
"Yeah,” Bucky replied. Slowly, he focused his gaze on Steve’s face and the concern there almost made him cringe. He forced himself to take a deep breath, though he tried to keep it as subtle as possible. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“You sure? You looked a little lost for a second there.”
Nodding, Bucky took in his surroundings. The kitchen was empty except for him and Steve, but the full pot of coffee on the counter meant that Tony was on his way. Everything was automated, which meant that the second he rolled out of bed, he commanded the kitchen to start preparing his normal breakfast. Bucky had almost shot the coffeemaker the first time it had turned on and started brewing on its own, but thankfully Y/N had been there to calm him down and explain what was going on.
“Actually,” Bucky said, and Steve paused. “Can I ask you a question?”
His friend nodded, his face earnest. “Sure. What’s going on?”
“It’s about Y/N. She always seems so…” Bucky searched for the word to describe her, not sure which one was the best fit.
“Calm? Put-together? Level-headed?” Steve suggested.
“Yeah. All of those.”
"Did something happen with Y/N?”
Bucky glanced back at the elevator that went back up to the residential wing. It stayed silent, but he knew there was only so much time before Tony showed up. If they were still having this conversation when he did, Tony would want to know everything about his and Y/N’s friendship. Bucky didn’t know if he was ready to share those details yet. He wasn’t even sure if Y/N would agree that they were friends.
“Usually we walk to the kitchen together in the mornings,” Bucky explained. “Not… together. Just at the same time.”
“Uh-huh.” Steve nodded slowly, his eyes focused on Bucky’s face as he waited for the rest of the story.
“But she wasn’t outside her room this morning like she normally is. I got worried and I asked FRIDAY where she was, just in case there was a mission I’d missed or if she’d already walked down here. FRIDAY said she was distressed.”
Steve’s eyebrows furrowed and Bucky’s guilt from checking in on Y/N lessened. Clearly if Steve seemed concerned about the AI’s report, Bucky’s own worry was valid.
“Distressed? Y/N’s the last person I’d describe as distressed. I don’t think I’ve even seen her stressed about anything ever.”
Steve started to move around Bucky and head to the elevator, but Bucky quickly shook his head. He knew that his friend would head straight to Y/N’s room to check on her now that he’d heard FRIDAY’s report.
 “I already checked on her, Steve, and that’s the thing. She seemed fine, but there was something wrong. She was… She was tense and I could tell that something was off about her, but she was pretending like everything was normal.”
“That’s the only thing that tipped you off? She was tense?”
“She was supposed to show me something on my phone today after breakfast, but she told me that she wasn’t hungry and that she had some things she needed to get done.”
“It’s not like Y/N to cancel plans and not give a good reason why,” Steve mused. His frown deepened as he considered everything Bucky had said. Finally, he shook his head. “She probably just didn’t sleep well. We all have bad nights, Bucky. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Y/N’s a pretty steady person. If she’s having an off morning, she’ll bounce back quickly.” He clapped a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed.
“You’re probably right.”
Steve nodded. “Hey, you were talking about sparring the other day. You wanna do that this afternoon?”
“Only if you promise to let me kick your ass,” Bucky shot back. The retort rolled off his tongue without even a thought and Steve grinned at him, releasing his shoulder.
“We’ll see about that!”
Steve left the kitchen, no doubt to go check on the few high-profile ex-HYDRA members they’d been tracking, leaving Bucky alone again. He poured himself a to-go cup of Tony’s coffee, and after a few second’s thought, he poured a second one for Y/N. She usually made herself a cup in the morning and Bucky was pretty sure she’d miss it if she didn’t have it. He’d overheard her complaining about a caffeine headache a few days after he’d moved in, and she’d been nursing an extra large cup of coffee during the team meeting less than an hour later. If she was really just having an off morning, maybe the coffee would help.
Bucky somehow managed to get himself back up to the residential wing without running into Tony. The coffee was still hot, even through the paper guard, as he shifted both cups and held them against his chest with his flesh arm and knocked on her door with his metal one. When there was no response, Bucky knocked again.
“FRIDAY?” he called, after the second knock didn’t earn an answer, either.
“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”
“Is Y/N in her room?”
“Yes. Would you like me to notify her that you’re looking for her?”
“Is she okay?”
The AI didn’t respond and Bucky’s heart sped up. 
“FRIDAY!” he snapped. “Is Y/N okay?”
“Miss Y/L/N requests that you enter her quarters,” FRIDAY answered.
The door to Y/N’s room slid open. Bucky’s breath caught in his throat as he stepped inside, only to realize that Y/N was lying on the floor. It was as if she’d simply climbed out of bed and shifted to lie on the rug, though she’d moved into the larger, open space between her bed and the sofa. She didn’t look over when Bucky entered. She didn’t even make a sound when the door clicked shut behind him and he walked further into the room.
“Y/N?”
“Why are you asking FRIDAY about me?” she finally asked. Her voice was hoarser than before and Bucky set both cups on the table beside her couch, frowning. From where he stood, he could see that her eyes were puffy, too.
She’s been crying, he realized, and his heart almost broke in two. Why was she crying?
“You didn’t seem like your usual self,” Bucky replied, realizing that he’d almost taken too long to answer because he’d been staring.
Y/N huffed out a laugh, which quickly turned into a sob. Unable to stand that she was crying again, Bucky closed the distance between them, kneeling down beside her. He reached out his hand to touch her shoulder, to comfort her in a way he hoped she would respond to. As soon as he did, however, Y/N scrambled to her feet.
“Bucky, I—” She choked on the words and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. Her spine went rigid and her shoulders tensed, pushing back towards each other, then relaxed only a moment later. She violently shook her hands out, then her arms. She rolled her shoulders backwards, drew them up towards her ears and dropped them again, twisted at the waist until her back cracked loud enough for him to hear, and rolled her ankles around and around. She jumped up and down, bouncing on the balls of her feet before shuddering from head to toe.
Bucky stared in utter confusion, and his heart thundered in his chest as he watched one of the few people that grounded him seemingly fall apart right before his eyes.
"Y/N? Y/N, what’s wrong? FRIDAY, call for Dr. Cho.”
“No! FRIDAY, don’t! Please, I can’t—” Y/N stilled, her whole body tense. She huffed out a breath and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “FRIDAY, I need—”
“Yes, Miss Y/L/N,” the AI answered, cutting her off.
Immediately, the sound of a choir filled the room and the lights began to dim until the room was half in darkness. Y/N stayed frozen in place as the song progressed, but after a few minutes, Bucky realized that the tension was slowly leaving her body. Another shiver ran through her, but it was smaller this time and though he expected another explosive reaction from her, there was none. He stayed silent, watching as the song morphed into a new one and she inhaled deeply, then let out a measured exhale and allowed her shoulders to fall to a more relaxed position. Y/N dropped her hands from her eyes and slowly lowered herself to the floor again, first to a cross-legged position and then with her back against the rug and her feet flat against the floor, knees bent, like she’d been when Bucky first entered, though her head was now towards him instead of her feet. She kept her eyes closed the whole time. Her hands laid flat on the rug with her palms down, and if he watched carefully enough, he could see her gently rubbing the textured fabric.
The soothing music continued to play and Bucky could tell when Y/N had finally relaxed the rest of the way. Her heart had finally slowed to a normal rate, and his matched hers as he listened to both beats intertwine with the music that FRIDAY had chosen.
“Thank you, FRIDAY,” Y/N finally said, her voice barely audible over the music. “You can turn it off now.”
The room fell into sudden silence, though the lights didn’t return to their full brightness. Strangely enough, Bucky felt at a loss. He felt empty. He hadn’t realized that the music had been taking up so much space in the room, despite the fact that it wasn’t tangible. Now that it was finally gone, the room felt much too big for just him and Y/N.
“Are you okay?” he finally murmured.
She opened her eyes but she didn’t look back at him. “Yeah.” She paused. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I didn’t want to hang out today because I was afraid this would happen. It’s not your fault.”
He could hear the self-loathing in her voice and his heart ached. “It’s not your fault, either.”
A bitter laugh left her lips. Y/N ran her hands over her face, rubbing harshly, then pushed herself up into a sitting position. She sat criss-cross, with her back to him, but after a moment she turned to face him and crossed her legs again. She kept one hand on each knee.
“I wish that was true, Bucky. I wish that it wasn’t my fault that I can’t handle the world sometimes,” she said.
Bucky wasn’t one to be honest about feelings, especially his, but he had a feeling that lying to Y/N to make her feel better wasn’t something she’d appreciate. So, he turned and collected the two cups of coffee, now cold, and carefully sat on the floor in front of her, making sure there was plenty of space so she didn’t feel crowded or trapped. He mimicked her position and set her cup between them, holding his own with two hands.
“I don’t know what just happened, Y/N, but we all feel that way. We all feel like we can’t handle things. I—” He swallowed hard and looked down, fidgeting with the paper guard around his cup. The coffee inside sloshed against the sides, daring him to tip it further and spill it onto Y/N’s rug.
“But I’m not supposed to feel this way, Bucky. I’m supposed to be the person who holds it together so that other people can fall apart when they need to. I’m supposed to keep our team grounded. I’m not supposed to feel like there’s too much… too much nervous energy inside of me that I might explode. I’m not supposed to feel like shoving people far, far away from me if they so much as brush their arm against mine. I’m not supposed to feel like I won’t be able to breathe, so I need to hold my breath as long as possible. I’m not supposed to feel like if I move, I’ll fall apart, so I need to keep everything together in the hopes that I won’t disintegrate into dust. Sometimes it’s all just too much and I know it shouldn’t be that way but it is, and I hate it. I hate every second of it because I know there’s nothing I can do to stop it.”
If Bucky’s heart wasn’t broken before, it was now. “Y/N… It’s okay to feel that way. You don’t have to be put together all the time. You’re only human.”
She eyed him warily. Silently, she took the coffee he’d brought for her and fidgeted with the guard, just like he was doing, then took a long sip. She kept her gaze focused on the black plastic lid when she spoke up again.
“It helps to listen to choir music. I discovered that a couple years ago when someone hit the wrong song on my phone. Now I’ve got a playlist I listen to all the time, but there’s specific pieces that help calm me down. Not like, calm me down when I get angry, but…”
She trailed off and Bucky nodded. “I get it. I wish I had that. It’s good that you know what to do.”
Y/N lifted her eyes, nodding slightly. She stayed quiet another moment, staring at him, before she finally replied, “You’ll figure it out, Bucky.”
“Maybe you can send me your playlist and I’ll try it next time?” he asked, and he offered her a small, hopeful smile.
She returned it. “Yeah. That’s a good idea.”
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Steve hadn’t mentioned that there would be a festival going on near the trafficking ring you were supposed to be taking down. It was just one ring of many, all connected to a resurgence of ex-HYDRA agents, but you’d known going in that it would be an all-hands-on-deck situation. You’d planned for every possible outcome and spent the entire quinjet trip to the city going through the scenarios with your team and reassuring them though the mission would be challenging, it was nothing you couldn’t handle if you worked as a team. The only thing you hadn’t planned for was the festival.
Thankfully, though the city was crowded with people—all of whom were immediately viewed as potential agents, victims, and witnesses—the mission went smoothly. There had been limited collateral damage, very minor injuries on your team’s part, and the ex-agents were either eliminated or apprehended. Some of them were already on their way to the raft by the time you followed your teammates back into the quinjet, feeling worse for wear.
We did good, you reminded yourself. Your heart was still pounding in your chest as you replayed your moments in the festival crowd, surrounded on all sides by a deafening celebration that you wanted no part in. Strangers had pressed up against you as you’d attempted to make your way through the crowd to meet up with Bucky. You’d been late because of it, and he’d almost been shot in your absence. The shot and his shout of pain had been loud and clear over your comms and you’d frozen in the middle of the mass of people, terrified that the one person you loved more than anything and anyone was gone because of you. Thankfully, he’d only been grazed
The quinjet doors closed behind you and you sucked in a breath as they sealed you in and the engines rumbled to life at Tony’s command. Your seat remained empty as Steve, Natasha, and Sam took their own seats across the cargo hold, talking amongst themselves. You hovered in the corner of the space, unable to make yourself sit.
He didn’t say anything to you as he sat down in his unofficial assigned seat. Yours was right next to his by design, but the thought of sitting down, especially so close to someone, made your skin crawl. It was only Bucky, but it didn’t matter. The noise from the crowds was still buzzing in your ears and you could practically feel the pressure of the people you’d been trapped between for much too long.
You rolled your shoulders as the tension wormed its way through your body. When that didn’t help, you stretched your arms out in front of you, wiggling your fingers and clenching and unclenching your hands into fists. For a moment, it felt as if that would be the end of it.
A shudder ran through you and you involuntarily shook your hands at the wrists, almost flailing them. It happened before you could even think and you squeezed your eyes shut.
Pull yourself together! You can’t do this right now, Y/N! Just keep it together until you’re back to your room.
You were too focused on trying to keep yourself from exposing your mini-freakout that you didn’t hear Bucky getting up from his seat. You didn’t notice how he made his way across the width of the jet to where Sam was sitting, nor did you see Sam reach under his seat to retrieve the noise-cancelling headphones he treasured and used on the way to and from each mission, especially rough ones.
“Y/N.”
Bucky’s voice in your ear made you jerk back from the metal equipment crate you’d been using as an anchor to keep yourself from moving too much and drawing attention to yourself. You opened your eyes. He kept his distance, his expression gentle and concerned enough to make you suck in a breath.
“Bucky, I can’t—” Your voice strained as another shudder ran through you.
“I know,” he replied. He kept his voice soft and his posture as unthreatening as possible. You knew he had to be trying hard, especially since you were all still wired and running on adrenaline from the mission. Bucky especially, considering he’d been caught in the crossfire of several agents.
His leg! He was injured! He should be sitting. He needs a bandage. You need to get him to his seat so you can help him. 
Your body tried to catch up with the silent command to help your boyfriend, but all you could do was stand frozen in place. Everything you had was going towards keeping yourself from falling apart in front of the team. They counted on you, especially when missions got rocky like the one you’d just finished. If they saw you freak out, they’d never look at you the same way. Even Bucky would look at you differently once everyone else knew, you were sure of it.
“Here.” Bucky held out the headphones for you and after a moment, you took them. Your hands shook with unspent energy as you handled the headphones, unsure.
“Aren’t these Sam’s?” you asked, glancing over towards him. None of your friends were looking in your direction.
Bucky nodded. “We’re borrowing them. Just put them on for me?”
Reluctantly, you slipped the headphones over your ears. Almost immediately you noticed a difference. The noise from the engines was already relatively quiet compared to most planes, but it decreased significantly once you were wearing Sam’s headphones. The pressure wasn’t uncomfortable, though it made you shiver and roll your shoulders and neck as you tried to get used to the sensation over your ears. Bucky watched you carefully, and when you finally nodded at him in thanks, he held out a hand.
Come with me, he mouthed, and you frowned at him. Silently, he pushed his hand towards you again, making sure that there was still distance even though he was trying hard to get you to take his hand.
You trusted Bucky. You had since the day Steve had told you stories of their childhood in Brooklyn. You would trust him with your life on the field, and you reminded yourself of this as you stared at his outstretched hand. Every part of your body was screaming at you to push him away, to curl up in a ball and wish that the jet flew as fast as possible back to the compound so you could hide away in the safety of your room.
As soon as your hand slipped into his, Bucky led you around the equipment crate towards a section of the quinjet that was unoccupied. It was only ever used for cargo or prisoners, or if there were extra agents coming with you that weren’t high enough clearance to be a part of the main action. Without saying a word, he took you towards the open space away from the folding seats, then released your hand so he could lay on the plane floor.
You let out a shaky breath, mimicking his actions. Your heart felt like it was in your throat as you realized what Bucky was doing. He remembered. You’d hoped just a little bit that he’d forgotten about the last time you’d been overwhelmed like this in front of him, but right now, you were grateful that he hadn’t. No one else was able to help you through this like he could.
A piece from your choral playlist started playing through the headphones once your back was flush against the floor and you forced yourself to close your eyes despite the nervous energy thrumming through your body. When the calm you’d hoped for didn’t immediately come, your legs went rigid and they began to kick up and down as you tried hard to focus on the music, letting it wash over you. Bucky didn’t try to hold you still, nor did he comment on the frantic, jerky movements. Two pieces passed, then three. Piece after piece played and then finally, you were able to take a deep breath without feeling like your lungs wouldn’t fill all the way. The shakiness in your hands left you and the overabundance of energy slowly began to drain away until you were left lying on the quinjet floor, eyes closed and headphones on.
Someone tapped on your arm and the music grew quieter a moment later. Opening your eyes, you looked up at Bucky, who was watching you with obvious concern.
“We’re landing. You up for moving?” he asked, and you nodded, sitting up.
“Thank you,” you murmured. You slipped the headphones off, watching as Bucky opened up the music app on his phone and paused the music. “I should go give these back to Sam.”
He shook his head, taking them from you. “I’ve got it, doll. You’ve had a rough day. If you want, I can meet you in your room. We can listen to music or watch something on TV, unless you’d rather be alone.”
Looking down at your hands, you considered his offer. Normally after episodes, you liked to be alone. The sheer embarrassment of someone watching you fall apart and then piece yourself back together again was enough to turn you into a recluse for a few hours.
But this is Bucky, you thought, chewing on your lip. He knows what you’re like. He has his own problems, and he understands.
“Watching TV sounds good,” you quietly replied after a few seconds’ thought. “I’ll just meet you in my room?”
He nodded, smiling softly. “I’ll meet you there. Gonna change my bandage first.”
Before he could get up all the way, you reached out and touched Bucky’s arm, his metal one. He froze, looking down at you. 
“Thank you, Bucky. I— I love you.”
The smile on his face grew wider, and it was one of the truest you’d ever seen. He didn’t even need to respond for you to know that he loved you too, in all the best ways possible.
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Playlist:
This Is My Song (Finlandia) | Serenity (O Magnum Mysterium) | Spaséñiye, sodélal | MLK | Bogoroditse Devo | Angel Band | O Filii et Filiae | Agnus Dei | The Rains of Castamere | O Salutaris Hostia | Goodnight Moon | The Seal Lullaby
If you liked this, please consider buying me a ko-fi! (My ko-fi is under my SPN fanfiction blog, but I promise it’s me!)
Tags: @lipstickandvibranium​
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I’m sorry you aren’t feeling good 😞 I hope you feel better soon! I have a question for you about Entrapment. I love it so much and I have to know, does the reader makes it a habit to transform into animals and try to freak out Bucky like she did with the bear? I just love their interactions and the way she isn’t going to make it easy for him but he’s totally gone for her.
Entrapment – One Shot
Y/N definitely messes with Bucky every once in awhile. But she's not doing it every day by any means.
Also, it gets harder and harder to trick Bucky. Despite all Y/N's different animal forms, he quickly learns how to recognize them. After only a few months of dating, Bucky can discern if it's just a normal wild animal or Y/N in just a few seconds.
Y/N also has forms that she favors. Mammals are easier for her and therefore the most common transformation. Bugs and amphibians are the trickiest for her.
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buckyblues · 5 months ago
Text
slow ‘n steady , bucky barnes
— (fem!reader x tfatws!bucky)
summary; You and Bucky have been dating for a month now, and having a discussion about his past leaves you more connected to each other.
warnings; smut, fluff, trauma, reader has a dirty mouth, oral (m receiving), cockwarming, kinda sub!bucky, body worship, porn WITH plot (sort of), bucky hasn’t had sex in a looooong time, teasing-ish, plenty of pet names, this couple is soft & goofy.
word count; 2,897
a/n; this started out as an old draft from when i first saw tfatws, then i edited it recently to get this final ooey-gooey fic. enjoy <3 - stellie
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Things were about as steady with your boyfriend as steady goes.
He was a private person, kept to himself for the most part. He wasn’t vulnerable or even pouty like some guys your friends had gone out with. James was a classic man, strong and quite old-fashioned. He brought you roses on your first date, which no one had ever done for you.
You met James while volunteering at rec-center bingo. He was there with an older man, looking unamused. It made you feel bad for him, which resulted in some very teenager-like flirting, because the stunningly handsome brunette obviously got a little flustered in your bold presence. You and James went out for dinner the following Monday.
A week after your first date, he couldn’t hold it back. Maybe telling his shrink about you was a mistake, because she had raised her eyebrow at him, silently saying, “have you told her yet?”
James didn’t want to ruin everything with the most beautiful person he had ever met. Not when it had just begun.
He told you that he wanted to go camping, and you couldn’t refuse his cerulean eyes. Instead of taking you out to the wilderness, you ended up in D.C. at the Smithsonian.
“That’s me,” he said, pointing to the pictures memorializing the Howling Commandos and Captain America’s best friend, Bucky Barnes.
Then it clicked. You weren’t dating James Barnes, the humble veteran and mechanic from Brooklyn, you were dating Bucky Barnes, the war hero turned assassin... now adjusting to life as a civilian.
“It’s okay if you wanna... I get it,” James looked down at his scuffed up boots. “I wouldn’t wanna date a 106 year-old freak either.”
You had heard the stories, mostly the bad ones, about the infamous Winter Soldier. It doesn’t matter now, that wasn’t really him.
“Hey, James... Bucky,” you reached up to cup his sharp jaw in your hands. “I still like you.”
He smiled ever-so-slightly, and you liked the way ‘Bucky’ felt sliding off your tongue. He was the most precious thing in the world.
The car ride back to Brooklyn was silent. You held his hand all the way home, thinking about all the horror he must’ve gone through. Part of you wanted to ask him about it, and the other part didn’t want to poke and prod too much. James — or Bucky — always wore gloves too. New York weather could be cruel, especially when it was hot, and Bucky still opted for a jacket and gloves. Peculiar.
After Bucky had dropped you home, you practically ran to your laptop. The Winter Soldier was a ghost story of sorts, so you had never seen what he looked like. You were never interested in that sort of thing either, you tended to avoid the news.
The internet is horrible. There’s Winter Soldier wikis and everything. Some of the ‘Winter Soldiers’ aren’t even Bucky. A crazy terrorist named Zemo tried to frame your boyfriend once and Steve Rogers went apeshit, you remember that being a top dinner-table discussion when you still lived at home.
The pictures you saw of the Winter Soldier was what frightened you the most. Your smiley, shy Bucky, with a striking metal arm and a machine gun. That same arm again at a different angle, covered in blood, holding a knife. He’s always wearing a face mask that covers his pretty, petal-pink lips. His hair is long, and that’s probably why no one ever recognized him in public.
You had to ask him about this eventually. Now you knew that Bucky had been shooting his way through fights since the forties, and on top of that, was put in a goddamn freezer. Maybe you’d give it a few weeks, let it set in that he’d told you, but now you were even more curious about James Buchanan Barnes.
“Buck...” three weeks later, you were stood outside his apartment door, fidgeting with his gloved fingers in your hand.
“Are you alright, doll?” He sounded worried.
You sighed, a somber expression painting your usually sparkling eyes. “I think we should skip going to the movies tonight.”
Bucky quirked an eyebrow, curling his fingers in your grip.
“I wanna ask you some things,” you said just above a whisper. “About your past.”
He froze, the way you would imagine someone would if you asked them to recall years of trauma when they were just planning on seeing a shitty romcom with their girlfriend. Bucky reached for the doorknob of his apartment. You had only ever been inside for a few minutes at a time, but you had a feeling you’d be getting comfortable.
“We can talk about it. I’m ready.”
Gentle nudges were much better than harsh shoves when it came to Bucky. With delicate encouragement, he had talked to you about some of the things he remembered from Hydra, or at least what he could tell you without breaking down. Sometimes you were worried you might cry, like when he talked about meeting Steve again.
Bucky nestled himself further into the couch when he talked about the forties, almost like he was searching for some sort of warmth. The warmth of old music and his family, maybe. You wouldn’t push him. He discussed more recent things like the Avengers, Wakanda, and his therapist, all of which were something to smile about.
He had said his piece for now, but there was something you weren’t letting off the hook just yet. Bucky may have assumed you knew about the metal arm, marked with a red star, but he’s never showed you his arm or even his bare hands. Hell, you’ve been attached at the hip for a month and he’s only given you a peck on the lips.
Go slow, don’t overwhelm him.
“I-“ you held back the urge to just take his jacket off yourself. “Can I see your arm?”
“So you do know about it?” Bucky turned his gaze away from you.
Your eyes started to well up. What could he be so ashamed of?
“Baby, please,” you coaxed him. “It’s okay.”
The sound of your voice melted him like butter in a microwave, and he reluctantly peeled off his leather jacket and gloves. Low and behold, a very flawlessly made vibranium arm was before you.
“It was made for me, in Wakanda,” he held out his vibranium hand to you and it made a low whirring noise. “The old one is... retired.”
You giggled and held Bucky’s cold hand in your warm one. It was an inviting coldness, something that you didn’t mind feeling. It was comforting, it was Bucky.
Before you could evaluate the impact of your curiosities, you lifted the sleeve of his black t-shirt to see where Bucky’s flesh connected to his prosthetic limb.
“No, don’t do that,” Bucky nearly shrieked the words out as he grabbed your side with his flesh hand.
“Why?” You had never seen his body in a vulnerable state, it was beginning to make you crazy.
He cleared his throat. “Don’t like how it looks.”
Damn Hydra. Tortured him and then wiped him clean for years, thinking he would actually forget it. Torture leaves scars, mental and physical.
“I love how you look,” you clutched his chin between your fingers. “Such a pretty boy, always thinkin’ about you, Bucky.”
“Really?” He already looked blissed-out.
“Yeah,” you straddled his lap, feeling like a confused virgin all over again. Bucky only hugged you if he was feeling frisky, this was definitely new territory.
That’s what happens when your boyfriend has lived two lifetimes, and he was an ice-cube for half of them.
Bucky looked up at you expectantly, waiting on your next move. You dove down into the column of his neck, leaving little kisses and bites there. He’s never let you be so intimate with him.
“James,” you tried not to sound too critical. “When was the last time you... were with someone?”
He tensed up, a blush instantly heating up his neck. Poor Bucky had a hard enough time just being a civilian, being a civilian with a partner had been out of the question in recent years, until you came along and wrecked his plans.
“Nevermind, don’t answer that,” you laughed.
Bucky brought both of his contrasting hands to your face, bringing it back up to his. His oceanic eyes had clouded over with a black-ink color of lust, and his creamy cheeks were tinted pink in the dim light.
“You keep missin’, doll,” he smirked. “Kiss me.”
His lips were magnets to yours as your fingers threaded through his neatly-trimmed hair. You immersed yourself in all things Bucky, because he smells like the woods and he’s warm and you could die happy kissing him like this. You’re so glad you missed that movie and decided to listen to him talk, because now you wish to be inseparable from him. You’ll leave featherlight kisses on each and every inch of that vibranium arm just to prove how much you want to stay.
“I’m gonna take this off now,” you inched the hem of his shirt up.
Anyone would have to squint in order to notice what Bucky hated, but from the way he winced, you knew exactly why he didn’t want that shirt off.
Messy scars littered the skin where man had previously met metal arm, right at his left shoulder. There were also countless battle wounds Bucky had endured over the years scattered across his body, but you made no fuss of it. He was just your Bucky.
You kissed the marred skin of his left shoulder, disregarding how much he despises it. He deserved everything, to be praised and loved on, so that’s what you would do. Every bullet wound and scratch you could see received the tender acknowledgment of your lips.
Bucky was almost sobbing above you as you neared his abdomen. You knew in your heart that he needed this, someone to touch him in a way that felt like a promise. He had been through so much and was still impossibly giving. You held his flesh hand in yours and squeezed it, like you were telling him that you were still there. You wondered how many times you had held the vibranium hand without knowing.
“So beautiful, Bucky. All mine,” you were on your knees for him, sliding your t-shirt off. “My baby boy.”
He smiled shyly at you, face going beet-red when he sees your chest in a nicely fitting black bra. The view couldn’t get any better, really.
Bucky groans when you pop the button of his faded jeans open, like someone had just punched him in the gut. He’s sensitive and trying to hold back, but you don’t mind. You shimmy his jeans all the way down his thick, gorgeous thighs. You’d love to take those for a spin, but now’s not the time. His leaking cock is waiting for you, at least now you know that, but you’re still debating how you want to play this.
“Buck,” you massage his thighs. “Has a girl ever sucked you off?”
“No,” he answered breathlessly.
“Alright, sarge,” you snapped the elastic of his waistband. “Tell me anytime if you wanna stop.”
Bucky whined again and pleaded for you to just do something, angling his hips up so you had easy access to take his boxers clean off.
“Such a good boy for me,” you discarded the useless fabric to the side of the couch.
He watched as you leaned your head closer to his erection. He was bigger than you had anticipated, but it’s not like you were complaining. You dragged your tongue all the way up his shaft, your ears eating up his dirty moans like sweet music. You took him in your mouth, lazily sucking his length, and pulling off with a pop.
“You moan like a fuckin’ pornstar, Buck,” you stared at him with hooded eyes.
“I haven’t felt this good in... years,” his chest was heaving. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, Sergeant Barnes,” you sank your lips back down on his cock, gagging on his impressive size.
Bucky grunted and writhed around, threatening to release in your mouth any moment. Tonight was all about him, but you had other plans about where he would be finishing.
“Doll, can’t hold it,” he squeezed your hand.
You pulled off and hushed him, soothing his anxiety. His face had a look of fear etched in his features, like he was about to disappoint you. God, you wouldn’t be disappointed, you would be proud that he could let go for you.
“Don’t worry, baby, not much longer.”
With jell-o for legs, you stood up, taking your jeans and underwear off. This was all so new for you and Bucky, but it felt like you had waited a lifetime for it. You didn’t want anyone else to touch you ever again, just him.
He grinned at you, with teeth. “You’re pretty.”
Bucky’s dark hair was disheveled and sweaty, his face was flushed, and his voice was low with what could only be arousal. You’ve never stood before anyone more captivating.
“You’re handsome,” you straddled him like you had earlier. “I’m so lucky, you’re incredible.”
He really is. Your Bucky. He’d go to hell and back for you, that’s just the guy that he is.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your forehead to his. He breathed out a “yes”, and you took his cock inside of you inch by inch.
“Jesus Christ,” you gasped as he bottomed out inside you.
“It’s just Bucky,” he answered your non-question in a choked laugh. “God, you’re so tight.”
“I’m gonna beat your ass later,” you sassed.
“Finish what you started.”
You looked down to where your body joined Bucky’s. It was supposed to be sinful according to everything you had ever been told, but it felt loving and exciting. Your entire body was lighting up, and if that’s sin, you’ll take hell.
Bucky kissed you feverishly, surprising you, but you didn’t mind in the slightest. You began grinding and bouncing on his cock, his thick length hitting every electric nerve inside of you just right. He mouthed at your pulse as you convulsed around him, but you weren’t close enough to finish. You snuck a hand between your folds and started to play with your clit, but the whirring of vibranium plates stopped you in your tracks. You can teach an old dog new tricks, Bucky Barnes included. He played your clit like a fiddle until you came around his cock, clenching down on him and moaning his name.
“You’re so good, Bucky,” you nipped at his earlobe while you still came down from your high. “Gonna cum for me?”
He whined almost hysterically, his release close.
“Let go, I’m right here,” you kissed his cheek to calm him and held his hand. “You’re safe.”
Bucky growled and then you knew he had let go. You felt all warm and fuzzy inside as he filled you up, and the way he held you close made you impossibly dizzy. Everything was so Bucky.
You kissed his forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
The bed in Bucky’s bedroom has been made for awhile now. He told you that when you still thought he was a veteran that had done tours in Iraq and slept better on the floor. It was an odd quirk to you, but even with the truth now revealed, you couldn’t judge him. He said in the shower that he wanted to sleep in bed tonight, or at least try.
You both got in, the sheets soft and silky. Bucky left all the lights in the kitchen and bathroom on, but again, you weren’t saying a word about it. He looked at you all sleepily, shirtless with his dog tags on, and you hesitantly grabbed the necklace to observe it.
“It’s awfully quiet,” you ran the pads of your fingers over the letters on the tags. “Is something wrong?”
Bucky murmured something. “Wanna be close.”
You pulled on the tags to bring him closer. “I see.”
His lips connect to yours in a very sloppy manner, drool everywhere from you both laying on your sides. You revel in the feeling of his tongue in your mouth, he tastes like his spearmint toothpaste. The body wash that he used in the shower smells like dish soap, but it’s intoxicating. It’s all so soothing and sensual that you want to burst.
“Closer,” you scratch down his bicep. “Bucky...”
You’re not even wearing any underwear to hide how soaking wet you are, just one of Bucky’s old t-shirts. You’re begging for it, your hand making its way down his washboard abs and to his boxers.
“Not again tonight,” he gave you a peck on the nose.
You shook your head. “It’s not like that.”
This is what happens when you date a 106 year-old man.
“What’s it like?” He asked curiously.
It was your turn to whine. “Just wanna be full.”
Bucky kicked off his boxers under the sheets, sheathing himself inside of your warm walls.
“Would it be a bad time to say I love you?” He grazed a finger over your cheekbone.
“You’re balls-deep inside me, but I love you too.”
Bucky let out a small laugh, and nothing could be more serene, just you and your boy.
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angrythingstarlight · a month ago
NSFW head canon
Having small hands/fingers which meant you were never able to hit your g-spot. So obviously your much larger than you boyfriend is dedicated to proving just how useful his fingers are🤤
Let's go with beefy lumberjack Bucky.
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Pairing: Beefy Lumberjack Bucky x reader
Word Count: 1.5K
Warnings: Smut, 18+, Fingering, Minors DNI, Protective Bucky. 
A/N: This was supposed to be five sentences. Five. Le sigh. As always dont’ copy, rewrite, repost or translate my drabbles. I do love comments, likes and reblogs. 
****
Bucky never intended on eavesdropping, he was heading to the kitchen to start dinner when he overhead you whispering on your phone.
The words gspot and can’t come, making him turn around. His brows furrowing, forming a deep wrinkle as he creeps into the living room.
You flopped back on the couch, tapping your foot on the plush chiffon rug. “What if it’s me?”
You sound dejected. He knew you had been hesitant to spend the night, but he chalked it up to nerves. Hell, he was nervous too; he wanted your first time with him to be incredible. As he listens to you talk about how the last guy you dated treated you, Bucky feels something twist deep in his gut, a startling rage at every guy who’s ever let you down flaring to life.
“Maybe I'm broken or something. I-I don’t want to disappoint him and I-“
You squeak in surprise when your phone is suddenly taken from your hand. “She’ll call you back.” Bucky tosses it on the coffee table, rounding the couch until he’s looming over you.
“Broken?” Bucky says in disbelief. “Bunny, I promise ain’t a damn thing wrong with you.”
You drop your eyes to your hands, picking at your nails. “I- I’m sorry,” you say, not even sure why you’re apologizing, embarrassment heating your face.
He kneels beside you, his hands smoothing up your legs until they’re curving around your waist. “Look at me,” he commands, lowering his head until he catches your eyes. “Just because some immature jackass couldn’t do his job doesn’t mean it was your fault.”
He can tell you’re not convinced. He’ll show you he’s right. “You want me to prove it?”
Even crouching, he’s at your eye level, his thin henley straining around his large corded biceps. His long chestnut locks pulled back into a loose bun, a shadow of a beard across his sculpted handsome face. You want him to be right, so much that your clit pulsates at the thought of coming apart for him.
“Just say yes and I swear I’ll make you feel so fucking good.”
“Ye-,” you clear your throat, shifting under his heady gaze. Bucky rubs small circles on your thighs, the feel of his rough fingers on your soft skin has heat forming in your core, slick dripping out drenching your panties. ” Yes.”
Taking your chin in his large hand, his lips slot over yours, passionately kissing you, guiding you back on the couch until you’re flat under him.
He deepens the kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth as he pulls down your shorts and panties, only breaking away to yank them off past your ankles.
He spreads your thighs with his calloused fingers, groaning at the sight of your glistening folds. “So fucking pretty,” he says to himself.
Bucky gazes into your eyes, the intense emotions lurking in his darkening blue ones have you shivering.
“You’re perfect,” he declares, sliding two fingers through you until they’re coated with your slick. “Now lemme show you’re going to be treated from now on.”
His cock twitches when he feels how soft and wet you are, the primal part of him screaming to bury his cock in your cunt.
Soon he thinks, staring raptly at you.
He shakes off the feral urges and pushes one thick finger into your tight pussy, groaning when you clamp down, quickly adding another. You’re so tight and warm and wet, barely able to handle his fingers. The thought of you stretched around his cock has him painfully hard and leaking in his gray sweatpants.
He gently pumps his fingers in you, slowly increasing his steady pace until you’re moaning. You’ve never felt so full, so good, and you know he’s only getting started.
He slips his fingers out of you, but any protest at being left empty fizzles out when he pops one in his mouth. Your belly drops when he groans out you’re sweet.
“Do you like that, bunny?” Bucky says with a soft smile, spreading you open as he teases your clit with soft swipes until you’re grinding on his hand, desperate for more friction.
You nod, glancing down at him. The look in his deep blue eyes makes your stomach sink in. He’s going to ruin you.
 “Use. Your. Words.” Bucky demands with three firm taps on your clit, the sensations making you jolt in his grasp. The dominance in his baritone voice has you clenching down, the need to be filled by him is overwhelming. You need it, need him.
Swallowing thickly, you nod again, whimpering when he gives you another warning tap, jolts of electricity sparking through your limbs.
“Yes, yes, I like-oh god damn it Bucky,” you screech at the sudden intrusion of his fingers stretching your velvety walls.
Bucky smiles, “you know that filthy little mouth of yours is going to look so pretty around my cock.”
Before you can even process that because fuck yeah, you want him down your throat, he’s doing this thing with his fingers and it’s setting your nerves on fire, his wrist twisting as he pumps in and out of you.
Bucky’s studying your face, taking in the way you’re quietly gasping, your hands flat at your side. “How do you feel?”
“Good,” you breathe out. It’s true, his thick fingers feel so good inside your pussy, filling you in a way no one ever has. Damn, if you’re this stretched out from his fingers, part of you wonders how you’re going to take his cock.
Bucky doesn’t like that answer, his bottom lip rolling between his teeth as he curls his fingers. He’s not going to settle for ‘good’ he wants you crying and begging him for more. He wants you babbling incoherently until you can only whimper. Bucky wants you to feel better than good.
Bucky slows his movements, murmuring, I know bunny I know at your soft whine. He keeps dragging along your walls, he cant get over how warm and tight you are around him. “Cmon sweet girl, give it to me, give it to me,” he mutters under his breath.
Then he hits it, a soft spongy patch. His eyes flicker up at your strangled oh fuck. Your hands balling into fists and your mouth goes slack for a second. He rubs it again and you gasp. “Is that it, Bunny?” Oh, he knows it is, but he wants to hear you say, another soft press has you keening, and he decides that’s his new favorite sound.
Bucky smooths the rough pads of his fingers over your spot again. “Yeah, that’s it.” he smirks, striking it faster and harder until he’s fucking you senseless. A searing heat spreading across you with each sloppy soaked thrust back into your cunt.
“Fuck, yesyesyes,” you chant, your head lolling on the cushion. All you can focus on is his calloused fingers, pressure building, pleasure cresting inside of you, fuck fuck fuck you’re going to break, split in two if he keeps fucking you so good. “Wait, Bucky-“ you cry out, your hands grabbing at his.
Bucky chuckles with a deep sense of pride, now he’s happy, you’re falling apart before his eyes. He’s drinking in the way you’re arching off the couch, your hips grinding down as your pretty pussy sucks his fingers back. He knew you were going to be a greedy girl.
“Please, I can’t take it- “you sob, trying to slow his hand, sensations crashing into you. “Please-“
“Your pussy is going to take everything I give her,” he promises, wrapping his other hand around your thigh, he sweeps his metal thumb across your clit at the same time he hits your sweet spot. And you keen, the thin high sound pulled from your chest as he circles your aching bud, setting off a powerful wave of pleasure, your moans thundering in his ears.
“Now cum for-“ he starts, grinning as the pressure snaps, your eyes roll back in your head and blindingly bright stars cloud your vision. “Good girl,” he laughs, “there ya go, lemme feel you come on my fingers.” He fucks you even harder, pushing your orgasm higher and higher until you shatter into little pieces.
Your mouth opens in a wordless scream, the wet sloshing of your cunt filling the silent room.
“How do you feel?”
He growls at the broken whimper slipping through your lips while your body collapsing on the couch. That’s what he wanted to hear.
For a brief two seconds, you have a chance to breathe, your chest heaving as you stare at the ceiling, waiting for your vision to clear.
“Let’s see how many times you cum on my tongue before you take my cock.”
You glance down at him, your eyes widening as his fingers languidly curl over your fluttering walls. “Oh, you didn’t think that was it, did you? He tsk, his smirk growing with each slow stroke. “You deserve to cum more than once, Bunny.”
He lowers his mouth over your clit, his sinfully dark eyes gazing up at you.
“I’m about to give you every orgasm your pretty little pussy missed out on.”
And i-
6K notes · View notes
wkemeup · 2 months ago
Text
Purgatory
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summary: While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect. pairing: bucky x reader word count: 6.5k warnings: dissociative episode, PTSD symptoms, winter soldier!bucky is clingy and protective af a/n: this is based off a request I got ages ago from @visitneptune. It's not letting me tag you hun, so I hope you still see this!
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Bucky stood at the mouth of the jet; the wind rustling violently around him, eager to knock him off his stance, to instill doubt into his body though it was made of stone. His left hand gripped to the handle on the wall; metal seared to metal, crystalline marble. Several hundred feet below laid the ruins of an old Hydra base; its walls coated in graffiti, the foundation left to weather, the hinges to rust. It held his empty stare.
“You sure you’re up for this?” you asked him softly under the roar of the wind. A particularly grueling gust swept through the bridge and you gripped the strap on the back of Bucky’s jacket for support. He was unwavering in its path, though he seemed to soften at your touch. He turned to you then, pressed out a weak smile and nodded.
You released your hold on his jacket, smoothing down the harness with a quick brush against his spine. He shivered as your fingertips grazed over the dip in his back and you bit your lip between your teeth. When you looked up at him again, you tried to force out a smile for him in return, but found the light would not touch your eyes.
The rush of adrenaline was still spiked high in your veins from the last time you heard Bucky scream – the agonizing break in his voice as he desperately clawed himself from the edge of nightmares Hydra had left behind. You could still see the sweat on his forehead, the rapid breaths in his chest, the fresh reflective tracks on his cheeks. You could feel him trembling in your arms, his hands begging for purchase around your body, his repetitive whispers against your neck.
It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.
But Bucky was desperate for absolution. He had it in his mind that the only way to atone for the violence he’d done under Hydra’s thumb was to settle the score. To make amends. To undo the carnage he’d once created with every Hydra base he dismantled. He never allowed himself to acknowledge the steel toed boot that had been pressed to his neck, forcing his hand, controlling his mind, suffocating his will. He sought forgiveness for the crimes of his captors. He would not consider that his body was merely the weapon at their disposal.
He wasn’t new to missions where Hydra was at play, but he was often only able to hold it together long enough to wash the blood down the drain before the weight of it split through the cracks. You’d find him curled up on the floor of the shower, rubbing his skin raw in attempt to wash out the red stained to his hands. He wouldn’t speak a word until morning came, wouldn’t sleep for a second. But he’d allow you to hold him, to soothe a hand over his hair, to rest his head against your heart.
You never talked about it. Never named the lingering tension in the room when he crawled out from under your sheets, shamed seeped into his veins. This silent and impenetrable bond you shared. The knowledge that you could pull him from the darkest corners of his mind. That you were a safe place even when he felt the walls were crumbling around him. You never spoke of it, but it remained.
“Nat and I will head to the control room while Sam keeps the jet in the air,” Steve said, a single hand on his hip. The other gripped at the ropes to keep himself steady in face of the wind. He clenched his jaw, a reluctant look upon his face as he turned to Bucky. “Buck, I need you on the lookout for their lab. It’s not marked on the blueprints but if anyone can find it...”
Bucky nodded. No one knew for sure if this was one of the bases he’d been held in as the Winter Soldier, but you supposed it didn’t matter. They all held the same trauma, the same reminders of the horrors he’d faced. The muscle memory alone to step foot in a building where he’d been conditioned down to his bones was an act of violence within itself.
“Y/n, I want you with him,” Steve added, a knowing look shared between you. It wasn’t that Steve didn’t trust Bucky. He was afraid for him the way you were; wanting to protect him from a world that had caused him so much pain. It was a need the both of you shared.
“What’s in this lab anyway?” you asked, changing the subject as you watched Bucky avert his gaze, pink burning in his ears.
“Samples of a pathogen Bruce thinks he can make a vaccine for,” Natasha said as she clipped her gun into the holster on her thigh.
“And they’re entrusting us to return it safely?” you raised an eyebrow.
“Nat has experience with this stuff,” Steve explained. “She’ll take care of it. Just signal on the coms when you find it. The base is empty. We’re not going to run into enemy fire.”
Your gaze flickered to Bucky. His back was to the group, his focus staring down at the abandoned Hydra base below. The metal handle had warped under his grip, outlining the shape of his fingers in smooth ridges along the surface.
You wondered then if it mattered whether the base was occupied at all; if the nightmares could still seep through the cracks in the walls and cause damage all on their own.
***
The door was lined with rust. Red and orange and oozing from the hinges. Bucky stared at the knob, his grip readjusting on his rifle. Steve and Natasha had already taken the north entrance, leaving Sam hovering above in the jet for a quick exit. You and Bucky remained at the south entrance. You watched him carefully, studying the tension in his shoulders, the reflection of gold weaving delicately along his left arm as the metal plates flexed. He was so still you wondered if he was even breathing.
“Bucky?” you called, setting a hand on his forearm. You walked out ahead of him, trying to meet his eye. The contact usually grounded him when he could not hear your voice through the mess inside his head, the numbness. You brushed your thumb gingerly along the vibranium edges. “Are you with me?”
He nodded, shaking himself out of the trance he had fallen into. “Sorry. Just need a moment.”
He looked as though he needed more than just a moment. A lifetime, perhaps, before he would ever be able to set foot in a Hydra base without some remnants of his own trauma clawing at the back of his neck, sinking talons into his muscle and yanking him to the depths.
“No one would blame you if you wanted to sit this one out,” you told him sincerely, eyeing the quinjet hovering over your heads. “I could get Sam to come down and—”
“I’m fine,” Bucky snapped, yanking his arm away from your hold. It startled you enough to step back a few paces, your hands burning as heat rushed to your cheeks. But as quick as it came, the sudden hardness of his features washed away when he noticed the hurt upon your face. “I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to—” Bucky sighed, dropping his head. “Let’s just get this over with, okay?”
“Okay,” you replied quietly, taking another step back to give him space. He glanced towards you, an unreadable expression in his features, though it made you wonder whether the space had been a relief for him at all. He clenched his jaw, turning back to the rusted door. He kicked hit boot to the weakest spot in the frame, near the hinges, and the door slammed to the ground. Broken entirely from the walls around it. Dust smoked up from the floor from where it crashed to the cement and exposed a dark, windowless hall behind it.
“Maybe we can watch that series you’ve been wanting to show me when we get home?” Bucky offered softly, inching closer to you as if the space between you was too much to bear. He pushed out a smile; one you knew took most of his effort to produce in witness to the building that could have been the one to rip him to pieces. It touched his eyes, left lines in its wake. It was beautiful.
“Deal,” you grinned, nudging his side until he started to laugh. The meaning of such a sound amongst the horrors of these halls was not lost on you. It echoed through the corridors and touched the cobwebs hanging in the corner. Its ghosts may have been the ones to hear his screams once.
Bucky took the lead. Even amongst the baron halls, he positioned himself as a shield between you and the darkness ahead. His wide frame took up most of the narrow hallway, his stance cautious to keep you protected at his back. Every so often, his ear flexed at the sound of your steady breathing, the shuffle of your shoes over the debris upon the floors. It was like he was fighting the urge to turn over his shoulder once more to confirm with his own eyes that you were safe behind him. He continued on, deeper into the darkness as fingers flexed against his rifle; his steps undetectable.
You passed by dozens of emptied rooms with dark stains upon the concrete and shackles molded to the wall. Bucky didn’t speak as his gaze trailed along the reinforced cells and the ghosts they carried. Tension etched into his muscle the further he walked.
A shiver burrowed into your spine as you kept your pace close to Bucky’s stride – close enough that you brushed against his shoulder blades every so often. It had been a comfort at first, drawing away the stone in his spine, but then after a while he began to bristle at the contact, almost as if he’d forgotten you were behind him, before he eased again, relaxing into your touch.
You’d been walking through the maze of hallways for nearly ten minutes before either of you spoke.
“Do you recognize this place?” you asked cautiously when Bucky took a right turn down an adjoining hall. He hadn’t even stopped to consider his path. It was as if he were following a memory.
He shook his head, a contemplative look on his face. Still, his attention turned down the corridor like he was being drawn towards it. He sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. But something’s telling me to go this way.”
You didn’t question whether it was the lab beckoning him or something else, something more dangerous. Instead, you set a comforting hand on his forearm and gave a short squeeze. A pained smile pressed on his lips as he stared down at your hand, how your thumb so sweetly ran along the thick material of his jacket. When you released him, he took in a heavy breath and continued on.
You followed him in silence until you neared the end of the hall. The lighting became progressively dimmer, the bulbs flickering in their disuse. Bugs scrawled along the edges of the walls, scampering through piles of dust and dirt. You held back a shiver as you kept as close to Bucky as you could.
It was as if the walls themselves were molding his body to marble with every step further into their maze. His back tightened, his spine straightened. His breathing became shallow to the point you could no longer hear his careful inhales. But something in him relaxed despite the tension in his body. You were about to call his name when suddenly, he turned sharply into an open room.
The door was lined in dozens of steel bolts and reinforced locks. It looked to be in pristine condition in comparison to the rest of the building. From a short glance inside, it was evident that this room was not the lab Steve sent you in search of. It was lined with cement, void of any furniture, let alone laboratory equipment. It was completely empty, save for the shackles fused into the furthest wall.
It was a cell.
You furrowed your brows as you followed Bucky into the baron room. He didn’t look around, didn’t so much as turn in your direction. Instead, he stilled at the center of the room, his back to you. You swallowed, though it tasted of copper.
“Bucky?” you called nervously. “What are we doing in here?"
As you stepped further into the room, you noticed the dent on the inside of the door. Heart pounding violently in your chest, you reached out and touched the caved in metal, drawing your fingers along the perfect imprint of a fist. No one else could have had the strength to cause that kind of damage except—
“Bucky?” you tried again, panic starting to lace into your voice. He was standing too still, too quiet. He didn’t so much as move a single muscle at the sound of his own name. His posture was too rigid, too formal. It reminded you of— oh God.
You took a single step towards him, the heel of your boot softly tapping to the concrete and suddenly, Bucky whipped around to face you. His expression was cold; void of the man you knew him to be; absent of the smile you drew out of him on the edge of this dreadful building. In one fluid movement, he raised the barrel of his rifle and unlatched the safety. There was no time to panic, no time to call his name, to so much as raise your hands in defense.
He fired.
Eyes screwed shut, lungs burning. There was a deafening ringing in your ears, pulsing deep into the back of your head, obstructing your balance. Slowly, you opened your eyes to find Bucky lowering his rifle to his side, the same vacant look in his expression staring at something beyond your shoulder.
“--company!” Steve’s voice suddenly cracked through the coms. “We’ve got company!”
You followed Bucky’s vacant stare to the body currently lying in the hallway. A man laid upon the threshold to the room, a shotgun in hand and a Hydra insignia affixed to his lapel. Blood pooled into the concrete, inching along the floor towards you. You hadn’t even known he was there, that he was just seconds away from firing a shot to the back of your head. The man’s finger was still curled around the trigger. You inched closer to Bucky.
“Y/n? Bucky? Someone report!”
Your gaze trailed over Bucky’s frame as he remained impossibly still. Not even his breaths seemed to rise against his chest. His stare was etched to the door, his eyes absent of the fear he once carried in these halls. They were coated in something darker – an oncoming of stormy skies masked under an ominous grey fog. Obstructing him. Confining him. A terrifying state of peace within the submission. Bite nestled to your tongue and you swallowed it—the burn of acid dripping down your throat.
“Bucky?” you begged, desperate to believe this place hadn’t undone him down to his bones. He didn’t so much as blink. You gritted your teeth, jaw clenched so tightly it began to ache and you forced out a name you swore you would never utter aloud—
“Soldat...?”
It was barely a whisper, the most you could possibly manage, and still— Bucky’s gaze flickered to you. When vacant, blue eyes met yours, you bit down hard enough to draw blood, your hand trembling as you reached up and touched the warm coat of blood against your lip. He furrowed his brow, studying your reaction and the utter desolation painted over your features.
“If you don’t respond, I’m coming to get you!” Steve warned through the coms. His voice pulled you away from the fog threatening to consume you whole as you stared at the shell Bucky had slipped into. Steve was panting, out of breath, a grunt through the speakers as a heavy thud fell to the floor.
Tears burned in your eyes as you cleared your throat, raising a finger to your coms.
“We’re okay,” you said slowly, not daring to take your eyes off Bucky for even a second. “We’re safe but... something happened, Steve. Bucky’s not himself.”
There was only a short pause. One where Bucky’s eyes centered on you, trailing over your frame as it were for the first time. They slid down the line of your suit, over your thighs to your boots, then back up along your hips to your arms. They lingered over a faded bruise on your cheekbone – one you’d sustained in a mission in the previous week against a rather unpleasant arms dealer in Slovakia. The muscle in his jaw flexed, his hands curled tight into fists.
Slowly, his eyes returned to yours. They didn’t carry the weight you recognized, the years filled with shame and guilt and burden, but they held a heaviness nonetheless. Deep blue as the depths of the ocean, coated in such darkness the sunlight could not hope to reach. They were the eyes of a man who knew what it was to be punished for disobeying orders, who recognized those who had caused him harm, who could identify those who would keep him safe.
The Soldier was not an empty shell. He was not simply a weapon for Hydra to dispose. He was living and breathing and impossibly real. Stripped down to the very threads that kept him human. Removed of his memories, of his past. Tortured for his mistakes. Kept in a cage like an animal. Taught to be silent, to expect fear, to follow orders.
This was not the Winter Soldier as you remembered him on the bridge, in the sky above D.C., in Vienna. Humanity was slipping through; though it was small, subtle. It was only when his gaze flickered briefly back to the bruise on your cheek and his eyes narrowed in what appeared to be rage, that you realized what had happened.
The man before you was the broken shards of who Bucky had been inside this cell – somewhere between the Winter Soldier and the prisoner of war. Too far gone from the Sergeant who held out as long as he could and miles away from the Bucky who turned on the kettle for you in the morning before you woke up, who indulged your ridiculous list of must-watch movies, who curled against you in the middle of the night when the monsters plagued his dreams.
A purgatory within his own mind.
“Y/n!” Steve called panicked through the coms. “Get out of there! We don’t know what he could do if he—”
“I don’t think he’ll hurt me, Steve,” you replied evenly, holding Bucky’s gaze. “He shot a Hydra agent before I even knew they were there. He saved my life.”
Bucky’s attention snapped to the door, his hand flexing against his rifle. You followed his eye line, unsure of what he must have heard, but with his advanced senses you knew better than to question him.
Slowly, he stepped out in front of you, holding an arm behind him to keep you centered behind his back. Your heart fractured as you realized he was shielding you. Even stripped down to basic instinct, muddled by the horrors of what Hydra had inflicted upon him, he still chose to protect you.
“Get him back to the jet,” Steve ordered, though you could hear the reluctance in his voice, even as he engaged in direct combat with enemy agents. “We’ll secure him there. Be careful.”
You nodded, trying to gather your courage though it felt impossibly far away. You were about to reach for Bucky’s forearm when you stopped yourself, quickly yanking your hand back against your chest and you had to remind yourself that this wasn’t your Bucky. You had no idea how the Winter Soldier would react to such an intrusion, especially given what you remembered about how Bucky first responded to touch – how he’d flinch away from it as if he’d been expecting pain. The Soldier didn’t know to expect anything less.
“Soldat,” you called firmly, mimicking the tone of the Soldier’s handlers. He straightened his spine, turning his head to you, awaiting orders. You inhaled a shaken breath, struggling to meet his eye. “I need you to get us out of here. Both of us. Do you understand?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes at your emphasis, though slowly he nodded. You had no idea how many Hydra agents crawled out from behind the woodwork or what to expect when you stepped into the hallway. But the Soldier needed a mission. He needed orders to follow. You weren’t sure whether he would go willingly without them.
Bucky eased out into the hall, a cautious glance behind his shoulder as if to make sure you were following close behind. You gave him a short nod and he turned back to the end of the hall; his rifle gripped tight to his grasp. You attempted to peer around his shoulder to get better leverage and provide coverage, but then—
An arm snaked around your neck, clamped down against your windpipe and yanked you backwards. You gasped for breath – the strangled sound alerting Bucky to your distress as you desperately clawed at the arm around your neck, tears forming at the corners of your eyes.
Bucky whipped around, rage quickly burning as the blue in his eyes reduced in thin, cerulean rings. You met his gaze, air obstructed as you choked against the man’s grip, and still – you saw a world of panic breaking through the cold exterior of the Winter Soldier.
You quickly elbowed the assailant in the ribs and he released your throat, doubling over in pain. It was enough time for Bucky to fire a single shot once you ducked clear out of view, sinking to the ground as your hands darted at your throat in search of air. You only vaguely recognized the sound of the body thudding behind you as you began to cough violently, blood spilling from your lips.
“You’re hurt,” Bucky murmured, so quiet you almost didn’t catch it. He was kneeling at your eye line, his brows furrowed and drawing worry lines over his forehead. His voice didn’t sound his like his own – too hesitant, too quiet. Longing and terrified and filled with unbridled rage all at once.
“M’okay,” you choked out, though your voice was rough, as if it has been tossed through a blender and dragged over sandpaper until it bled.
Bucky’s hand reached out to you, gently pushing the hair away from your eyes with the lightest feather of a touch. You stilled as the very tips of his fingers grazed gently over your skin, watching him as he studied the markings on your neck. An impossible moment amongst the chaos in the distance. The humanity of the Winter Soldier breaking through. His upper lip twitched as his fingers touched the discoloration on your neck. His jaw wired shut, a twitch in his upper lip, and suddenly, a weapon was in his hand again. He fired another four shots into the dead body on your right.
“It’s okay! It’s okay!” you told him, gathering his face in your hands, urging him to meet your eye. You drew your thumbs along his cheekbones until he finally forced his gaze back to you. He was breathing heavy, the rage spilling through the cracks in his surface until you said again, “I’m okay.”
A wash of relief coated his features for only a moment. Then, he nodded, almost as if to shake himself of the emotion he was not allowed to express. The lines on his face faded into the façade, the stone cold expression returning and wiping away the traces of the man underneath. Without saying a word, he stood back to his feet and waited patiently for you to follow.
By the time you made it outside, Steve and Natasha were standing by the mouth of the quinjet, weapons at the ready. They were both covered in open cuts and bruises, red seeping into their uniforms and coloring their skin. Natasha was leaning against the edge of the ramp, barely holding herself up, though she started to relax upon spotting you.
Bucky froze at the sight of their weapons and you collided into his back. He pulled out his gun.
“No! Stop!” You rushed out in front of him, holding your hands up defensively. “They’re friends! They won’t hurt us.”
You stared down the barrel of his rifle, counting each agonizing heartbeat as you waited for him to lower his weapon. You didn't know why, but the Soldier was drawn to you, connected to you in some way that he protected you without a second thought. It was his mission. His only directive. It wasn’t one you’d given him, but still—it remained.
His eyes flickered to you, unsure. You gave him a gentle reassuring nod and slowly, Bucky lowered the gun.
“Y/n?” Steve called hesitantly.
“I’ve got him, Steve,” you replied over your shoulder. “He’s okay.”
“He’s—”
“He’s not triggered, not like you think,” you explained as calmly as you could manage. You could sense Bucky eyeing Steve, his hand flexing against his weapon, and you didn’t want to give him any reason to believe Steve was someone you needed protection from. “I don’t know what happened, but one minute he’s Bucky and the next he’s...” You sighed, glancing back at Bucky’s rigid posture. “Something in that base fractured him; awoke this part of him again. It’s a defense mechanism. He’ll come out of it, Steve. Give him time.”
Steve's gaze flickered to Bucky before returning to you. “Last time you met the Winter Soldier, he almost killed you.”
Triggered under Zemo’s twisted plan to draw a line between the Avengers, Bucky had once shot a bullet clean through your stomach. You could still picture the cold look in his eyes as he stood over you, readying for the kill shot as you laid frozen on the floor in a pool of your own blood. You’d never felt fear quite like that – the certain knowledge that you would not survive. If it hadn’t been for Tony’s intervention, you would have been dead.
It was before you knew Bucky. Before you loved him.
Maybe you were naïve, but something had changed in the Soldier since then. Perhaps, the same thing that changed in Bucky.
“I’ll be alright, Steve. He won’t hurt me.” You eased your hand in Bucky’s direction, urging him to holster his weapon. He did and you hoped it was because he trusted you, not because he saw you as his handler. You sighed, turning to Steve. “I’ll take care of him. Just trust me with this. Please.”
“Okay,” Steve sighed, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “But I have to secure him. For everyone’s safety, including his.”
"Let me,” you offered quickly, unsure of how Bucky would react to Steve trying to restrain him. “He’ll take it better if I do it.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”
No. You weren’t sure of anything; not with Bucky locked in this state. But you told him you were anyway.
“Soldat,” you called, turning away from the flash of surprise on Steve’s face as you turned to Bucky. “Follow me.”
You turned up the bridge of the jet, walking past Natasha and keeping your gaze straight ahead. You didn’t want to see whether she was disappointed with you for feeding into Hydra’s conditioning to keep Bucky compliant. You were only trying to keep him safe, to get him through this in one piece. He’d come out of it eventually. You kept telling yourself that, though you were never entirely convinced.
Bucky hovered behind you, keeping close despite the wide berth of the jet. You gestured to a seat along the side wall of the plane and Bucky sat down. You knelt down beside him, pulling a pair of reinforced handcuffs from under the seat. The team kept them on hand for the varying occasion when they needed to restrain enhanced individuals or Norse Gods. They’d work on Bucky, too.
“I’m going to put these on you, okay?” you told him, watching for any resistance. But Bucky didn’t move. He only watched you, following the metallic flicker of the handcuffs as you gently fastened them to his wrists. The center affixed to a chain connected to the floor of the plane. He didn’t move a single muscle.
You sighed, brushing at your eyes as you crawled up to sit in the seat beside him. You never wanted to see him in chains, never wanted to be the one to secure the metal around his wrists, but there was a trust within it. A trust that you would undo the locks, that you would protect him while he was vulnerable to attack the same way he protected you. But you couldn’t read Bucky when he was like this. You had no idea what he was thinking. If he was thinking anything at all.
“What about the mask?”
You blinked, thrown by his voice. Rough, unused. Unsure. He was watching you curiously, studying the stunned look of disbelief on your face, and you quickly shook your head.
“No mask,” you said simply, though you could feel the lump building in your throat. It was more of a muzzle than anything else – used to silence him, to humiliate him, to make him feel like a weapon of their own making and destroy any last thread of humanity he was clinging to. You could barely picture it without tears blurring your vision.
“Just try to relax, okay?” you told him. “We’ll be home soon.”
He raised an eyebrow at the mention of home, but your heart was too broken to explain any further. He didn’t ask. You supposed he was trained not to.
***
By the time you landed hours later, Bucky still wasn’t himself. Sam was the one to reluctantly suggest you bring Bucky to a holding cell until he came to again, but you feared that would only make it worse. It was a cell that triggered this state, you didn’t expect a cell would bring him out of it.
Steve and Natasha landed the jet away from most of the crew so you could guide Bucky away from the crowd without anyone noticing the handcuffs on his wrists. Steve threw a jacket over Bucky’s hands to hide the restraints and gave you the key.
“You call me the second it turns bad,” he ordered, a cautious look thrown in Bucky’s direction.
You nodded and reached out to squeeze Steve’s hand. He sighed at that, the tension coursing painfully through his body. “It won’t, Steve. But I promise I’ll call if I need you.”
Steve didn’t seem any more convinced but you could see the longing for hope in his eyes; how badly he wanted to believe you, how badly he wanted his friend back. He gave you a tight smile and nodded, stepping back.
“Come with me,” you told Bucky and he followed without question, trailing behind submissively and it left an awful pang in your stomach. As you stepped down onto the loading bay, you moved to walk in line with him. “I don’t know how much you recognize but no one here is an enemy, okay? We’re safe. I promise I’ll remove the cuffs once we’re out of sight.”
Bucky didn’t say anything, but you could see his eyes flickering to the sparse agents he passed by as if he were sizing them up, deciding how best to engage with his hands bound. He watched your every move, flinched as a head popped up in your direction as you approached, winced as your name was called in greeting from across the hall, shivered under the steady blow of the air conditioning above. He was on constant edge.
“Oh, hey guys!” Scott Lang jumped out from the elevator before you could press the button. Bucky jolted to step in front of you, blocking you from the perceived enemy who was likely the least dangerous man in the compound. Scott still had Cheeto dust on his fingers.
“Ah, I get it, I get it,” Scott laughed, hands raised in the air playfully as he backed up. “I’m happily in a relationship, my man. Hope may be way out of my league but I’m still in it, okay? You don’t have to worry about me snatching up your girl.”
You smiled, setting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder blades and easing your fingers down his spine. It was something you did for him to help him calm down when you didn’t want to draw attention to his distress. You hoped it might work on the Soldier, too. Sure enough, he began to relax. You stepped out from behind Bucky.
“Don’t mind him,” you told Scott with a casual shrug. “He’s just a bit on guard. Rough mission.”
Scott nodded in understanding, his lips pressing to thin line. “Totally get it. My bad, man. But hey! I’ll see you for poker on Saturday, right?”
“He’ll be there,” you replied, answering for Bucky whose gaze looked as though he could pierce daggers straight through Lang’s chest. You guided Bucky in the elevator and quickly tapped on your floor, hitting the button several times until the doors eventually closed. Once you were alone, you slumped against the wall and released a heavy sigh.
When the floor dinged, you straightened to find Bucky watching you. You were sure whether it was curiosity or concern in his eyes as they followed you into the hall.
“The team knows to leave this floor alone until I give them the okay,” you said, gesturing for Bucky’s hands. He held them up for you and you removed Steve’s jacket and tossed it to the couch. Then, you unlocked each of the cuffs and set them on the table.
Bucky rubbed his hand over the reddened skin on his right wrist. You winced at the burn mark.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think I closed them that tight.” You reached for him and you were surprised when he didn’t pull away. He allowed you to take his hand in yours, soothing the cool press of your palms against the irritated skin. He closed his eyes, sighing at the touch.
“Come on.” You eased Bucky to the couch, though you did not lose contact with his wrist. You sat down, sinking into the cushions and gently tugged him down beside you. He was uncomfortable, a little out of place, but you hoped the familiarity might be enough to sink in.
His posture was rigid beside you as you turned on the television and began to search for one of his favorite movies. You were so used to Bucky sliding in next to you, closing the gaps between you without ever acknowledging the comfort of laying in each other’s arms. Now, he sat with his back straight, his hands planted firmly in his lap. He looked as though he didn’t know what to do with the deep-set cushions and the pillows surrounding him.
Bucky looked around, his eyes skirting over the furniture, the television, the window view of the lake down the way, and then—to you. He paused, his features softening.
“I know you, don’t I?”
You clenched your jaw, fighting tears. You nodded.
“I know this place,” he continued, his voice a quiet whisper, as if he was worried who might overhear. “These people, too.”
“Yes, you do,” you confirmed gently. Panic began to wash over his features and you inched closer to him, setting your hand on his forearm. “It will come back to you, Bucky. I promise. Give it some time. I’ll be here when it does.”
His eyes drew down to where you touched him, where your hand gently squeezed his forearm, your thumb brushing tenderly over the lining of his jacket. He watched you as if you’d never done that before, like he’d never experience such kindness in a touch.
***
It wasn’t until long after the sun had gone down and the room coated in the comforting tones of the stars and moonlight beyond the window, the flash of the television illuminating the kitchen behind you, that Bucky finally spoke again.
“I’m sorry.”
You jolted up from your position, your cheek imprinted with the lines of his jacket. You hadn’t realized how close you were to nodding off, how much you’d leaned against his body and relied on his comfort, even in this state. But something was different as he wrung his hands in his lap, twisting around metal fingers and reddening the skin of his right hand.
Bucky swallowed nervously, lowering his head. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
He was expecting you to withdrawal, to be angry for the burden he’d placed upon you, but instead, all you could feel was relief. You threw yourself into his arms, burying your face to the crook of his neck. He held his arms out to the side, as if he were unsure if his own touch was wanted, until slowly, he allowed himself to hold you.
“Are you okay?” you asked against his collar, unable to pull away for even a moment.
Bucky sighed. “As okay as I can be, I suppose.”
You swallowed nervously. “How much do you remember?”
“All of it.”
You stilled; breath caught in your chest. Memory of the dehumanizing name still present on your tongue. “I’m sorry that I—that I called you—”
“It’s okay,” Bucky eased, his breath warm to the crown of your head. “You did what you had to. You got me out. I could have... I could have hurt you.”
“No,” you shook your head, determined. “You saved me, Bucky. Hell, you even tried to protect me from Scott. All you did was protect me.”
Bucky nodded, a flicker of realization in his eyes. “I guess even in that state I knew.”
“Knew what?” you asked, looking up at him.
Bucky smiled and pressed a kiss to your hairline. “That I could trust you with my life. That I would always protect you with it, too.”
You smiled at him, easing your hand against his cheek. Your thumb brushed sweetly over his cheekbone, your palm against the stubble on his jaw. Even as darkness clouded over him, even when he was lost to the confines of his own mind – he would find he way back to you.
He’d come home.
---
Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨
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bucksfucks · 4 months ago
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 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 ; 𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀
summary┃when your car breaks down on the side of the road and your dad can’t come rescue you, he sends the next best thing. 
pairing┃dadsbestfriend!bucky x f!reader 
word count┃ 2,434 words
warnings┃significant age gap [reader in 20′s, bucky in late 30′s], car sex, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, drunk sex, alcohol consumption, sloppy sex, bucky teases you a lot, thigh riding, pet-names, fingering, finger sucking, size kink, metal arm kink, praise kink, slight edging, bucky finishing in you, talk of masturbation [in passing] — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI
notes┃if i see you plagiarize my work i will personally steal all of your left shoes and right socks
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   “I don’t know, the engine made a sound and now it won’t start.” You groaned into your phone, your dad sighing on the other end of the line as you leaned your head against your seat. 
    “Can you get it into a mechanic?” He asked as you rolled your eyes, “considering it won’t start, I don’t think so.” 
     You were just outside of town, almost making it home before your piece of shit car decided to crap out on you and die. 
    “I’m stuck in the office until seven, but I’ll get Bucky to pick you up, okay?” Your dad said, shuffling on the other end of the line as your heart dropped into your stomach at the sound of his name. 
    “Bucky?” Your throat was suddenly dry, heart hammering as you could hear it’s reverberation in your ears like the sound of waves in a shell. 
    “He’s good with cars too, might even be able to bring your car back to life long enough to get it into a mechanic.” Your dad’s voice was calm and collected, unlike the way your breathing was. 
    “Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s really nice of him.” You tried to act normal, like nothing was wrong. 
     Like Bucky hadn’t fucked you the bathroom of some gross college bar during your last year just a months ago. 
     You hadn’t seem him since. Last you heard, he had set off on a solo trip to California as he kissed you on the cheek at the end of the night.
   With his cum staining your thighs.
   And the scent of him on your shirt as you watched him walk out of the bar.
   Now he was going to come and rescue you from the side of the some dirt road.
   “You there, sweetie?” Your dads voice brings you back to reality as you shake your head, “yeah, yeah, sorry. The reception’s spotty,” you lie right through your teeth. 
   “Hang in there, sweetie, okay? Bucky shouldn’t take longer than 20 minutes.” Oh good, at least you’ll have time to prepare yourself for the moment you’d see him again. 
   “Okay, thanks dad. I’ll see you soon then.” You both say your goodbyes before the line goes dead and you’re left staring at the nearly desolate road as the occasional car or semi roars by. 
    It’s getting late but thankfully it’s the dead of summer which means that it would be impossible to get cold, even with the sun down. 
    No matter how hard you tried not to think about Bucky, the memories of that night came flooding back with each gust of warm air. 
    The way his fingers danced up your shirt as he pressed you against the dingy bathroom wall. 
    The way he bent the bathroom door handle at an angle that would lock the two of you in there for some privacy—the sparks of gold and shining black flashing through your mind. 
    The way he found all your sweet spots and the way he would call you Kid to egg you on as you took shots with him until you were dizzy. 
    And the way he made you cum harder than ever before until you had no more breath left in your lungs. 
    You had to shake yourself free of those thoughts, the familiar burn forming between your legs as you decided to pop your hood to see if you could magically figure out what had gone wrong. 
    It all looked so foreign, like a different language as you stared at the various car parts—the only thing you recognized was where you re-filled your windshield fluid. 
    A rumbling engine caused you to peek your head around the hood of your car to watch that familiar Impala pulling up right behind your car. 
    Your heart kicked in your chest, throat going dry as your hands were suddenly clammy watching him step out of the car. 
    Dressed in all black, Bucky shut the door of his car as he took his sunglasses off and tucked them in the front of his shirt. 
   “I gotta say,” his voice is so much deeper than you remembered, “this isn’t how I thought we’d be meetin’ again.” 
    He smirks, coming to stand beside you to look under the hood, “if it makes you feel better, neither did I.” 
    Your words make him chuckle as he turns his body to face you, arms over his thick chest and the early evening sun bouncing off of the prosthetic. 
    The same fingers that were knuckle deep inside of you, coaxing sweet, sweet moans as you fell over the edge more times than you can count. 
   “Your car battery is dead,” he says, after a quick inspection—arms propping himself on the hood as he uses the shiny metallic hand to point at the battery, “it looks like it’s been leakin’ for a while. How old is the battery?” 
    His question strikes you and suddenly you feel embarrassed and useless, “I don’t know.” 
    He shifts again, tucking his finger under your chin so you look up at him. His eyes are soft and you find yourself lost in them. 
   “It’s okay, Kid, was just askin’. Unfortunately I don’t have any cables, even if I did, it looks pretty lifeless.” He explains, finger dropping from under your chin and you want to whimper. 
    You nod your head, “thanks, Buck.” 
    You don’t even register that you call him that, “uh, sorry. I mean, Mr. Barnes.” 
    Now that makes him laugh, holler even as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip. 
   “Please don’t call me Mr. Barnes, Sugar.” He says, the familiar pet-name doing nothing to alleviate the ache between your thighs. 
   “Why not?” You ask, genuinely curious as he takes a step towards you. 
    You’d also forgotten how much bigger Bucky was, in more than one way. He towered over you, remembering how he easily had you lifted and pinned against the wall as fuck fucked into you. 
   “'Cause,” he smirks, “I’ve heard you moan my name and I don’t wanna hear it any other way.” 
    Your breath gets caught in your throat, a gasp replacing it as you feel the familiar prick of goosebumps over your skin. 
   “C’mon, I’ll give you a ride home.” He adds nonchalantly as you were still repeating his words in your mind. 
    He looks at you for a moment longer before brushing past you, “it’s gettin’ dark.” 
    You managed to unfreeze, legs moving from under you as you grabbed your duffle bag and whatever other miscellaneous objects from your car before tossing them in the back of Bucky’s car. 
   “Nice car,” you comment as you slide into the worn leather seats. Bucky smirks, turning the engine over as it roars to life. 
   “Thanks, Kid.” There it was again, the same taunt he used as you both downed a shot of tequila. 
   “Don’t call me that, I’m not a kid,” you weren’t mad, the slight smirk on your face was telling enough as Bucky put the car into neutral. 
    He leaned back, thick thighs spread as he put his arm over the back of the seats, “I jus’ missed that pout of yours, Sugar.” 
    You didn’t even realize you were pouting until Bucky pointed it out, dark eyes watching you as you relaxed into the seat. 
   “I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about this on the drive home to my father’s house.” You mumble, trying to contain the faint smile on your lips as Bucky leans into you. 
   “I don’t think havin’ my cock buried deep inside of you was very appropriate either, but you didn’t seem to mind,” he purrs, fingers falling onto the back of your neck. 
    A shudder travels down your spine when you feel his hand tighten around the base of your neck. 
   “Haven’t stopped thinkin’ ‘bout you, Sugar, you know that?” His voice drops an octave as the rumbling of the car’s engine make your pussy jump. 
   “You haven’t?” You whisper out, moving closer to him as he turns his body towards you. 
   “Havin’ my hand wrapped ‘round my own cock just doesn’t feel as nice as your tight pussy.” He hums, feeling his dick jumping in his pants. 
   “Haven’t stopped thinkin’ of your sweet moans, or the way your mouth felt ‘round my cock,” his smirk is darker now, cock growing in his jeans as you let out a soft moan.
   “Bucky, we-we,” you can’t even find the words, “this is so wrong.” 
    He hums, thumb tracing over your bottom lip, “then why does it feel so fuckin’ good?” He growls, tugging you into his lap as you let him, giving into the way his warm body feels against you. 
    You can feel him under you, his fingers instinctively digging into your hips as yours go to his broad shoulders so you can steady yourself. 
   “Tell me you haven’t thought of me,” he smirks, “that you haven’t touched that tight cunt of yours wishing it was my fingers or cock.” 
    You gasp, wetness pooling in your panties as you let out a whine, “Bucky.” 
   “Mmm, that’s what I thought, Sugar. My poor girl,” he hums, slowly rocking your hips over his with more fervour. 
   “Did I ruin men for you? Is that what this is ‘bout?” He taunts, holding your face in between his fingers as you’re forced to look at him. 
    You can see the lines in his forehead, pupils blown with lust as you’re able to pick out the grey hairs littered between the dark brunet ones. 
   “Your cock sure as hell did,” you pant, tangling your fingers in his hair and pressing your lips over his as he lets out a low grunt. 
    The kiss is messy, and you revel in the familiar taste of coffee and spearmint as your tongue glides against his along with the occasional bump of your teeth against his. 
   “You better start thinkin’ of excuses as to why you’re late ‘cause I’m about to fuck you,” he snarls, lips trailing down your neck as he sinks them into your sensitive skin. 
    “Grind yourself over my thigh, Sugar. Get yourself nice ‘n ready.” He smirks, hands already up the shirt you were wearing playing with your breasts. 
    Who are you to deny yourself the pleasure of riding Bucky’s thigh, the fabric of your jeans against your pussy mixed with the hard muscle causes a sweet friction that makes you mewl. 
   “Missed that sound, baby. Missed the way you felt, the way you tasted,” his lips are over yours, “but most of all, missed the way my cock fit perfectly ‘side you.” 
    Bucky had a way with words, knowing exactly how to make you come apart and that is what made him absolutely lethal. 
    He was like a wave that you rode, getting you high and wet and then slipping right through your fingers. 
    “Lie down,” he grunts, “on the seat.” It’s a messy and incredibly tight fit, but the couch-like seat allowed you get your back flat as Bucky shuffled in between your legs. 
    With some struggle, Bucky managed to get your pants down past your ass, your fingers quickly undoing his belt as you freed his cock. 
   “Fuck,” you gasped as he smirked, “what? Forgot how big I was?” He purrs, cradling your face, “it fit last time, it’ll fit today.” 
    You wanna chide back, think of a smart, witty remark, but your mind goes blank with lust and need. 
   “Not so fast, Sugar,” he cooes, “gotta warm you up first.” The fucking tease. 
    You whimper when you feel his fingers at your entrance, cock heavy against your hip as he slides a single finger in. It’s not enough, not by a long-shot as your walls warm up the cool metal. 
   “Bucky, please c’mon,” you whine, bucking your hips into his hand. It does nothing but make him chuckle.
   “You know I love hearin’ you beg, that’ll jus’ slow me down,” you nearly throw a fit, as he slowly curls the single finger deep inside of you. 
    He’s relentless, finally adding a second finger and hooking them against your g-spot. It causes your toes to curl and the heat to grow in your belly—but he never gives you the satisfaction. 
    Instead, he pulls them out, tapping them against your lips, “clean ‘em.” 
    A shudder rolls over your body, lips parting to take the heavy digits in your mouth as you maintain eye contact with Bucky. 
    You’ve always wondered if he can feel those fingers, but the groan he gives you answers your question. 
   “Good girl, missed that ‘bout you,” he praises, running his cock through your folds as you squeak out a gasp at the sudden pressure against your clit. 
    There’s not warning as he slides in, slow and long as he holds himself up on his forearms; warm breath fanning across your face. 
   “Feel so fuckin’ good,” his eyes flutter closed as he bottoms out, nostrils flaring when he takes a deep breath trying to control himself. 
    It’s unfair, the way he knows you’re body. 
    There’s no taking his time, you’re parked on the side of the road with Bucky balls deep inside of you. He’s fucking you and he’s fucking you good. 
    The car shakes, suspension squeaking as he thrusts into you; the strokes much deeper from the confined space. 
   “You have no idea how good you feel, Sugar,” he grunts, pelvis bumping your clit as you throw your head back deeper into the seats. 
    Everything around you smells like leather, sex, and Bucky. 
    Your abdomen tightens as your toes curl and—“that’s it, gonna cum for me, make a fuckin’ mess.” 
    There’s nothing you can do to hold back your orgasm. It hits you like the truck that speeds past the parked car and you let out a choked gasp of Bucky’s name. 
     You’re both panting, everything is a mess and you’re wondering just how you’ll have to act as if Bucky’s cum isn’t leaking into the panties you’re wearing. 
      “I haven’t come that hard since,” he chuckles, “well since that night at the bar.” 
     You can do nothing but smile, butterflies in your tummy as he helps you sit up, both of you awkwardly wiggling back into your jeans. 
     It’s silent, but not uncomfortable as Bucky pushes down on the brake and shifts into drive. The moves forward a few metres before there’s a powering down sound and the engine splutters. 
    “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you laugh, turning to face Bucky who can’t stop laughing. 
    “Well it looks like we’re both stranded now,” he winks, pulling you into the slightly larger backseat, “might as well find a way to kill the time.” 
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cosmicloki · 4 months ago
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𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 | 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬
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summary: john walker is flirting with you in front of bucky and he won't take it pairing: bucky barnes x female!reader word count: 2k warnings: john walker (yes, he is a warning), jealous!bucky, some angst, fluff.
english is not my mother tongue, so please forgive me if there is a grammatical error. hope you like it!
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You snorted as you dropped between Bucky and Sam, your gaze on everything but the big jerk dressed as Steve sitting across from you. And by the time the vehicle started to move, you knew that you had regretted getting into it in the first place.
"You know we just saved your asses, right?" John Walker, the clown himself, questioned, shooting you an almost mocking look.
"We had everything under control." You replied dryly, finally joining your gaze with his blue one, crossing your arms over your chest. You frowned when you saw how he blatantly moved his eyes from your face to your chest and vice versa, and Bucky could see it too as he immediately tensed sitting next to you.
"And if 'having everything under control' means getting your butt kicked out, of course, you had everything under control." John joked, but seeing that none of the three invited passengers smiled at his words, he sighed. "We're on the same team, guys, c'mon. I don't know why you act like you hate us."
"We're not on the same team, man." Sam was quick to reply, as calm as ever. You found it incredible that he could maintain his composure even in such stressful situations.
"And we do hate you." Bucky added, you nodded at his words.
"My point is, we could work well on the same side." John leaned in, resting his elbows on his knees and by the time his eyes landed on you, you knew some disgusting statement was coming. "And we could use an avenger of your caliber, sweetheart." You raised an eyebrow at the nickname. "You have a hell of potential, but I can see you don't work well with these two. Maybe you're on the wrong team."
John smiled widely when he saw a smile rise on your lips as well and when you approached him, he approached as well.
"Uh, I wouldn't recommend doing that." Sam muttered under his breath seeing John's closeness to you.
"I'm going to give you two seconds to retract all the bullshit you just said if you don't want a broken nose." You said in a low tone against his ear still with that dark smile on your lips and Bucky smiled totally satisfied at Walker's expression, who looked truly terrified for a couple of seconds.
Your lover's vibranium hand rested gently on your thigh, trying to calm you down, which worked almost automatically. He knew how much the subject of the shield and Steve affected you, even as much as him.
The fake Captain America cleared his throat, straightening his body to sit well. "Look, I'm not trying to replace anyone, okay?"
"Oh, so is that why you're dressed exactly as Steve Rogers?" Sam answered wryly, raising his eyebrows at him.
"I'm not Steve Rogers, I'm Captain America."
Sam, Bucky and you laughed, the three of you looking at Walker in disbelief.
"You know that carrying that shield around doesn't make you Captain America, right?" You questioned in a cold tone.
Bucky, still with his hand on your thigh, dedicated himself to gaze intently with narrowed eyes at who, until now, had easily proven worthy of being his potential enemy. He quick noticed how John Walker's disgusting eyes traveled over your body, sometimes stopping at cuts that had ripped open your suit from the previous fight.
And God he wanted to break his therapist's rule number two so badly.
John Walker finally glanced at Sam, pointing at the super soldier with a movement of his fingers. "He always stares like that?"
"You get used to it." Sam replied calmly and proceeded to shrug. "And man, you've been flirting with his girl in front of his eyes all this time, do it a little while longer and I assure you it will be more than a stare."
"I confirm that." Bucky agreed with a darkly ironic look, giving Walker an even darker smile, almost looking like psycho.
John sighed for almost the tenth time in the hour, looking truly defeated. "If you guys joined us, this would be a lot easier for everyone." His blue eyes traveled over the hate-filled faces of the trio of passengers in front of him. "I know it's a complicated subject, but with Falcon, Diamondback, and the Winter Soldier we could― "
You quickly interrupted him in a warning tone, your eyebrows furrowing with anger. "Don't call him that."
"Easy, Walker." Sam spoke at the same time as you did, also looking a little more tense with the name brought into the conversation, gesturing with his hand and pointing at Walker with his index finger warningly.
The aforementioned blinked a few times and then dropped his shoulders, exhaling a great breath of air. His blue eyes fell back on you before he spoke. "I'm trying, sweetheart, I really am― "
"Don't call her that." Bucky snapped this time, annoyed, but John completely ignored him, continuing to look at you in a way that really disgusted you and your lover alike, even Sam got uncomfortable with it, frowning at him.
"I still think you should switch sides here, (Y/N)." You kept quiet, allowing him to keep talking. Maybe you wanted to hear him, maybe you were giving him a chance to say something that would clean up all the garbage he had been saying so far. "I mean, you are an avenger, the last one standing and a very good friend of Steve, you were his partner. The right thing to do now would be for you to be my partner, don't you think?"
You were going to answer something immediately, your trembling lips parting as you felt a strange sensation when hearing the words Steve and avenger in the same sentence, but Bucky, once again, interrupted the conversation, raising his head towards the driver with a clenched jaw. He had enough. You had enough.
"Stop the car!"
Walker rolled his eyes, watching as Bucky stood up as the car came to a stop and moved to the side of the road, his hand entwining with yours, gently pulling you to follow him, knowing full well that all you wanted was to get out of there as fast as possible, just by reading your body language. "You know what? I get it, alright?"
When the blue-eyed super-soldier was on the ground, he turned to look at you, offering his hand to help you down as well, but you turned to Walker, feeling a wave of fury shake your body. "No, you don't get it. You don't understand what this shield means to us, what Steve means to us. You never will, John."
Walker opened his mouth to reply, but you interrupted him with your eyebrows rising ironically. "Oh, I almost forgot."
What immediately came following your words was your fist impacting against his face so fast and hard that not even he saw it coming. He let out a great whine and brought his hand to his nose, feeling how the blood began to come out of the nostrils thanks to, probably, a fracture.
You didn't stop to watch the man whimper and cry down on his seat, as you hurried to get out of the vehicle taking Bucky's hand, who kept a wide smile full of pride on his lips, looking openly satisfied with the situation.
"That's my girl." He murmured against your forehead as his arms pulled you close to his body and placed a soft kiss on the crown of your head. "I'm sorry you had to listen to all that, doll."
Sam decided to stay with John and his partner for a couple of minutes, to, as his good heart requested, listen to what he had to say, perhaps waiting for an apology. While you and your lover were simply holding each other on the side of the road, already away from the car.
You kissed Bucky's clavicle before separating from him and raising your head to join your gaze with his beautiful blue eyes, which, in the contrast of daylight, shone like never before. His orbs automatically softened once they landed on you. "He's a dick, don't worry about him, love."
"But he really choose to flirt with you in front of me. How bold. Switch sides he said, right?" Bucky's hands rested on your waist, keeping you close to him, as if you were such an idiot to want to get away from the warmth and comfort that his body offered you. "You're not going to leave me, are you, doll?"
You could feel your heart squeeze inside your chest when you saw a hint of insecurity flash in the blue of his eyes. Suddenly, he looked like a little lost puppy.
"Oh, baby, no." You released with an exhale of air, as you stood on tiptoe to level a bit with his height and both of your hands were raised towards his cheeks, lowering his face to you, making him focus only on you. "I'll never leave you, James. You're all I have, all I need. Only you. Some fool with a shield won't be able to keep me away from you, Steve couldn't, and neither will this one." You gave him a short kiss, caressing his face with the greatest delicacy in the world. You raised your eyebrows before speaking again. "And hell, there is a big difference between them."
Bucky gave you a little smile, almost dazzling you at how beautiful he was when he smiled. But after a few seconds that warm smile turned sad and melancholic, just before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you closer to his body once more, in a strong hug, full of shared emotions.
"Never leave me, baby doll." He whispered against your ear, leaving a soft kiss on the side of your head.
"Never." You replied immediately, showing absolutely no doubt.
"You two finished?" Sam's voice brought you both back to reality. Bucky grunted, reluctantly pulling away his face from your neck. Your coworker was looking at you with a single raised eyebrow and when he saw how you finally separated from each other, he crossed his arms. "You know what the rule is, love birds."
"I hate you." The super soldier responded by shooting his co-worker a short, annoyed look.
Sam smirked. "No you don't."
The three of you started walking across the path back home, Bucky intertwining his flesh fingers with yours, keeping you close to him, as always.
"That punch back there was really necessary, though, (Y/N)?" The Falcon asked you, while he walked to your other side. An amused expression as he turned to you.
"It really was." You nodded your head with a big smile on your mouth, giggling shortly, making Sam laugh too with it.
But you and your best friend were surprised all of a sudden at hearing Bucky laughing next to you as well, both of you turning to look at him with raised eyebrows, totally stunned by his open display of emotion.
"My girl is the most badass of all." The super-soldier said after a few seconds of laughing softly, unable to erase the huge smile of pride plastered on his pretty face. A soft kiss was placed on your forehead, as he brought you closer to him. “My girl.” 
Sam rolled his eyes at you. "No PDA in front of me, guys. You know te rule, c’mon.”
"Shut up, Sam." You declared this time with a smile, while you put Bucky's flesh arm around your shoulders to be even closer to him, passing your arm around his waist, immediately feeling his natural warmth delightfully invade you. 
"I love you, doll." He murmured against the side of your head, his warm breath crashing against your skin.
"I love you too." You mumbled back, leaning your head against his chest.
"That's it, I'm flying."
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barnestuff · 3 months ago
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exception
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summary bucky always softens around his girl.
pairing bucky barnes x reader
warnings fluff.
a/n have a nice day/night <33 my masterlist
Bucky certainly wasn’t a ray of sunshine around people.
He usually didn’t smile around the team. He would wake up earlier than everyone, train earlier than the rest of the team. He wasn’t the one to talk a lot, just answering questions.
Bucky was cold, he couldn’t control it. It wasn’t easy to feel comfortable around people after what he went through.
You were an exception.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Bucky finally came to your door after a long day, full of training recruits. He let out a breath and knocked on your door with his knuckles.
“Hey, doll”
“Bucky!” you said as you jumped into his arms. He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up a bit.
“Did you miss me, baby?” he said and kissed your hair.
“Mmh, yes. How was your day?” you said as you left his embrace, walking him to the bed.
“Eh, ordinary. Missed you so much.” he said and you gave him a look, making him chuckle. You sat on the bed and patted the spot next to you, telling him to sit. Instead, he took you in his lap and layed down, you on the top of him, his hands on your waist and your hands next to the sides of his head.
“How was your day, doll?” he asked, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“It was fine, I did some work and baked cookies.” you said as you started kissing his neck. Bucky hummed at the feeling of your open mouthed kisses.
“Chocolate chip?” he asked, a big smile forming on his face.
“Yes” you chuckled and put your head on his chest. His hands started to draw patterns on waist and arm and he started humming to an old song.
Bucky was longing for peace before he met you and now that you were with him, he wanted to keep you forever. He wanted to wake up next to you everyday. He wanted to sing 40’s songs with you. He wanted to take you out on a date at that fancy restaurant Tony recommended.
He wanted to tell you everything. He wanted to tell you he loved you with the most beautiful words he knew. He wanted to write you songs, letters, poems. He wanted to express his feelings like everyone around him did.
He sighed quietly.
Instead of using his words, he took your face in his hands, caressed your cheeks with his calloused thumbs and gave you a tender kiss. His lips were soft and it made you forget everything else for a few good seconds, there was just you and Bucky.
“I love you too,” you whispered.
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