#bucky barnes oneshot
your writing is literally something so personal to me, it's unreal – no other author's really been able to do that 💜 i thank you for all the fics and the work you put into them :) writing isn't exactly the easiest lol
i know you'd do this small request justice tho; now not to trauma dump on you or anything but recently i've been dealing w the worst body image issues (i hope this isn't a triggering topic as i know plenty of us do as well, unfortunately), more so specifically my chest. i barely fill an A cup, and quite frankly just thinking about having a shirt off during you know easily makes me cry.
and lately lots of fics have been emphasizing, or just adding slight comments to the reader's "perky tits" that daddy!bucky loves to look down at through her shirt or something :/ absolutely nothing wrong w it, of course i can ignore it and read over it, but idk eventually it just becomes a lot. omg this is a lot fuck
so maybe it could be just a small hc, drabble, whatever's easiest lol, about daddy!bucky and it's just comfort all around though i am 100% not against any smut whatsoever in fact it is encouraged where he accepts her, reassures her that he'd always be there, that she's just beautiful the way she is. it doesnt have to completely center around that tho, just a small comment on it would suffice <3
no rush on this one <3 again i love ur writing endlessly and i cant wait to read it 💜💜
Pairing: (Daddy)!Bucky Barnes x f!(little)!reader
Word count: 2,723
Warnings: contains ddlg, contains smut (fingering - f receiving), the rest is fluff. 18+ content.
A/N: Nonnie love, this is hands down one of the best asks I've ever received and I think will ever receive on here. You're so so kind and sweet and I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you. Also, you can totally trauma dump on me any time, I'm here for you💜 and tbh, i understand:" and you're right, body image is something we all struggle with but at the end of the day, believe me we're all perfect little beings, each in their own way. Thank you so much for sending this in and I hope I didn't disappoint you, love💜💜 i love you lots. Please enjoy xx💜
all of you
Bucky never said anything, but he knew. He knew her like the back of his hand. Bucky knew what made her happy and what made her sad. He knew her dreams and fantasies. He knew what she liked about herself and what she was insecure about. Bucky knew it all, and he absolutely adored every bit. He loved all of her just the way she was. He was hoping she knew that though.
Although he knew everything there was to know about his girl, Bucky was no relationship expert. He was above a 100 years old and she was his first girlfriend since the 40s. He would be lying to himself if he said he still remembered how to woo or swipe a lady off of her feet.
But Bucky knew how to love. When it came to her, his heart knew how to appreciate, adore and cherish every detail. It was with her that he learned that no torture, even if too much, could get his heart to forget how to love.
She taught him to smile again. She gave him a reason to want to live again. She was his hope, his sunshine, his love and his all.
So Bucky just decided he was going to let his actions speak instead of his words. He made sure she knew he loved every little thing he's ever noticed about her inside and out.
Bucky loves every inch of her; every mark, every mole and every scar he's had the luck of laying his eyes on and discovering.
But like he had his deep insecurities, she had hers and it was only human. Bucky just wished he could have her see herself through his eyes.
He wished he could show her how perfect she was to him, how he adored everything about her and wouldn't trade a thing, not for the world.
Now when she's her big, busy, responsible self, it's easy for her to hide it or brush it off, but it's more noticeable when she's little.
She won't exactly give Bucky an easy time whenever it was time to change or shower or do anything that required her shirt to be taken off and her boobs to be bare before him.
Her big self has let Bucky see her chest plenty of times, biting back anxious tears that always threatened to spill as she tried to relax, focusing on the feel of Bucky's hands on her, caressing, kneading and pinching her soft flesh.
Bucky is always so soft with her, so patient and gentle. He never rushes her and walks through everything at her pace.
He wished she’d stop closing her eyes every time she got naked for him because she was missing the way she had him licking his lips at the mere sight of her. She was missing his dilating pupils as he took her in and his teeth sinking into his lip before he’d lower his mouth on her body.
It was one of those days and she was being hard again.
“Baby doll, we gotta take our clothes off if we wanna take a bath together,” Bucky reasons, trying to seduce her into undressing, knowing how much she likes their grounding bath time.
Oh, she is perfect. Bucky could never get enough of her. She's so perfect that he sometimes finds himself staring at her as she nakedly sleeps beside him and feels like a creep. She's perfect and Bucky desperately needed her to know it.
“Don' look then,” she says, her palm cupping Bucky's cheek to try and make him turn his head the other way so his eyes aren't on her.
“Doll, my baby, Daddy loves every little part of you. You got nothing to be shy about,” Bucky reassures, twisting his head to kiss her palm.
“Daddy,” she whines, still refusing to get out of her his shirt.
Bucky sighs before turning off the water pouring into the filling tub.
She looks regretful, quickly preparing an apology in her head, thinking she ruined bath time for them.
Bucky doesn't give her the chance because his hand is off the tap and on hers, gently tugging as he leads her outside of the bathroom.
“Dada?” She whispers, confused, when Bucky sits down on their bed, positioning her before him between his legs.
“Baby doll, I love you,” Bucky says, his eyes carrying nothing but sincerity and adoration.
Before she can say it back, he continues, “and that means I love everything about you with my whole heart. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, and you're mine, doll!”
“All yours, daddy,” she reassures as tears fill her eyes.
Bucky couldn't believe his own words. His mind took a minute to comprehend this truth every time he was reminded of it.
She is his. This perfect, absolutely amazing in every way, kind, sweet girl is his. She wants him. She trusts him. She chooses him. She loves him. And the least Bucky can do is make her feel like the precious beauty she is.
“And I'm yours, baby.” Bucky kisses her hand, “and I understand.”
He tenderly holds her face between his hands and pecks her forehead again and again.
“Remember when I couldn't be shirtless around you at first?” Bucky asks and she nods.
“I was so insecure about my arm. I didn't want you to see it. I didn't want you to see anything that had to do with this part of me.”
“Daddy.” A tear rolls down her face as she cups Bucky's.
“But do you remember what you did the first time you got home early and saw it?” She nods again and Bucky melts when he remembers.
“You smiled so brightly at me and then you acted like nothing was different. You hugged me all the same, kissed me all the same and made me feel loved all the same. You didn’t stare or grimace or even ask questions.” Bucky swallows the lump is his throat when he feels like he's getting emotional because this isn't about him.
“Dada, your arm is beautiful!” She defends, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
“It's not beautiful to me, doll.” Bucky gives a faint smile, “but it's okay because none of us has to be perfect. Especially if I have an angel like you, loving me for who I am despite the flaws.”
“I love you, daddy.” She throws her arms around Bucky's neck, hugging him as close to her as she can as she cries on his shoulder. Bucky wraps his arms around her, his lips dropping to the column of her neck and he places the softest kisses there.
“I love you too, doll. I love you and anything that has to do with you.” Bucky kisses her ear, “and I know there might be parts of you that are not your favourite but they're you and I love them. I love you. You never have to hide away from me, baby. I love all of you just the way you are.”
She slowly backs out of the hug, wipes hurriedly at her tears before grabbing Bucky's hands and bravely placing them on the hem of her shirt.
Bucky smiles softly, “you ready to take a bath with daddy, doll?”
She nods with a shy smile, her heart pounding between her ribs as she tries to remain brave. It's Bucky. Bucky loves her. He loves her the way she is.
He tenderly slips the shirt off her arms and head before his hands find her waist, waiting for her nod to take off her underwear as well.
When she's fully bare in front of him, Bucky just stares. She's so so beautiful. She looks like a goddess to him; an exquisite being out of a fairytale. His very own Venus. He never thought anyone could be this gorgeous.
Bucky only snaps back to the present when she starts fidgeting and shifting on her feet in slight discomfort.
“You're beautiful, baby doll.” He holds her hand and brings her closer to him again. He helps her up on his lap with her legs open and wrapped around his waist.
Her face is burning up at how exposed she feels and then Bucky's palms are caressing her back, spreading chills throughout her.
“So beautiful,” he whispers, his lips finding her forehead.
Bucky kisses her eyes, feeling the flutter of the lids in surprise, “just perfect from head to toe.”
“Those beautiful eyes where I see your love for me; where I see hope and hold on to it because I got you.”
She blushes, keeping her eyes shut as she feels Bucky's lips peck her nose, “you have no idea how much I love feeling this nose poke me when you hide your face from the sun in my chest every morning. Or when you hug me and bury your face in my neck. Doll, you make me feel whole doing the littlest things.”
“And your beautiful lips. Oh, these are perfect.” He kisses her again, his teeth gently biting on her lower lip. “The prettiest sounds come out of them,” peck, “it's the best thing in the world when I hear them calling for me,” peck, “there's not a second that I don't wanna kiss these lips, baby” peck, “and when they're stretched around my cock? Oh, doll.” peck.
“Bucky.” She opens her eyes, tears evident in them again and in an instant, Bucky's lips are devouring hers.
She’s her and she’s comfortably naked in his hold as her big self. She feels brave enough and it’s her.
Bucky’s words are so loving, so soft and so kind and she feels the warmth of them engulfing her in a sweet hug.
“Bucky,” she breathes, hiding her face in Bucky's shoulder, her nose poking his neck.
He chuckles, kissing the side of her head, “look at me, baby.” Bucky asks and she obeys, her whole body feeling on fire, “please.”
“Don't hide from me, doll. I’m in love and I'm not done admiring you yet,” Bucky says, smiling adoringly as he steals yet another kiss from her welcoming mouth.
Her face is so hot she can feel the warmth spreading to her neck and chest as she lets Bucky’s voice calm her as he continues to worship her body.
“Where were we?” He pecks her lips one last time before his lips are sliding over her skin down to her neck, “your neck, right.”
“This beautiful neck that proudly carries my marks all over,” Bucky says hotly, his teeth teasing her flesh, “so soft, so warm.” Bucky's nose brushes up her throat before his lips go down the same trail, sending shivers up her back where his hands are still caressing and feeling
Bucky remembers all the times she's hugged him, let him nuzzle her neck and take in the beautiful scent his heart knew as hers. He silently moves to her collarbones, nibbling and kissing until he reaches her breasts.
Bucky lets his flesh hand come to the front, the other still on her back, holding her. His eyes are on hers, looking for signs of rejection as he slides it up her tummy.
She doesn't stop him and Bucky's hand reaches one of her boobs and he can't help but close his palm over the soft tit, giving a tiny squeeze. Her breath hitches as Bucky whispers a “perfect” to himself.
Her head falls back a little as Bucky's hand moves to her other breast, his touch leaving her nipples hard and her body shivering.
“Your boobs are the best, doll. They're so soft and beautiful, fit just right in my hands. I love playing with them,” Bucky says, tenderly rolling a nipple between his fingers, eliciting a sweet moan from her.
“I love putting my mouth on them.” Bucky's lips are instantly on her other nipple, wrapping around the nub and sucking, the tip of his tongue circling over it.
“Bucky, please,” she breathes, not even sure what she's begging for but Bucky understands. He always understands.
“You want me to move to your favourite part, baby doll?” He teased, lightly biting down, lips grazing her sensitive nipple, making her arch her back to press her breast more to his mouth.
She nods, shyly adding a low “please”.
Bucky puts his lips on hers and she’s so lost in the dizzying kiss to notice him standing up and taking her back to the bathroom.
She opens her eyes again when she hears the water continue to fill up the tub and she can’t help but pant, “I love you.”
“I love you even more, doll.” Bucky kisses her again, big hands caressing the curve of her butt and squeezing.
When the tub is filled, Bucky gently gets her in and she sighs at the warmth she sinks into, the water smelling of her favourite body wash.
Bucky gets in and relaxes behind her, his chest to her back and his arms around her waist.
He kisses her ear, neck and shoulder as his fingers trail down her body and she automatically parts her legs.
Bucky’s fingers are sort of warm when they slip inside her but it’s nothing compared to the warmth of her tight cunt.
“I have to admit, you’re not the only one who favours this pussy, doll. It’s definitely my favourite part too,” Bucky smirks on her neck, his lips teasing as his fingers leisurely slide in and out of her.
His vibranium hand plays with her boobs, the sensation making her slightly shake in his hold.
She’s floating. Everything feels too good and she feels so loved; so accepted and so wanted.
Bucky finds her beautiful and attractive. Bucky craves her.
“This amazing pussy that is always needy no matter how many times I give her my cock. Always so wet and so warm for me,” Bucky moans, biting down on her shoulder and her back curves the littlest bit as she tries to get his fingers to move faster.
“So tight I don’t even know how you take me, baby.” Bucky’s thumb rubs her clit just as slowly and she’s so desperate for a release, but also not sure if she wants all the pleasure Bucky’s giving her to end.
“But you do, you take this cock like a champ. Every. Single. Time.” Bucky groans, softly humping her ass, his hard cock touching her behind making her even wetter on his fingers.
“Please, Bucky. I want it,” she mewls, frustrated that he won’t pump his fingers faster.
“What is it you want, doll?”
“Y-your cock,” she whispers and Bucky is kind enough to not make her say it again louder.
Bucky slowly pulls his fingers out of her, rubbing the head of his cock on her opening before pushing in.
“All yours, doll,” he breaths, fully sinking into her.
It was one bath but it was all she needed. That day has opened her eyes to things Bucky did that she unawarely took for granted, barely noticing and if she noticed them she’d deem them coincidences.
She no longer missed out on how Bucky checks her out when she’s out of the shower in nothing but a towel. She no longer missed out on the way Bucky admired her on date night because the dresses looked so good on her he almost cancelled their every date.
Bucky just loved her; all of her, so much and he’d vowed to make sure she knew that until his last day on earth.
On another hand, Bucky loved her more freely now. He got to be more open about showing her physical affection any time of the day. Bucky always wanted to be close. He always wanted a hand on one or both of her boobs. The man was obsessed. They’re spooning? Bucky has a hand on her boobs. Watching a movie? Bucky has a hand under her shirt touching her boobs. Making love? He’s. Touching. Her. Boobs.
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Empty Home || Bucky Barnes
pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader
summary: after the loss of your husband, you come home for the first time since his death and memories flood back from your relationship. loosing yourself in your grief, you lose control.
a/n: based on that scene from wandavision- you’ll know the one. bucky and sam were never snapped. replies and reblogs are super appreciated!
word count: 3.7k
warnings: bucky died, difficulties dealing with loss, grief, just really sad, angst, mentions of blood, choking
masterlist || taglist
You felt numb as you twisted the brass knob on your front door. Although the door was no heavier than it had always been, it took every ounce of strength within you just to get it open and once you did, it took even more just to step inside.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Bucky asked, grabbing your hand in his and pulling you back towards him.
You laughed as you collided with his chest, your arms wrapping around his neck as you stared up at his smiling face.
“Inside our house,” You said. “to take off these disgusting clothes and relax.”
“What’s disgusting about it?” He asked, resting his hands on your waist.
“I don’t know,” You said. “Maybe it’s because I’ve been wearing the same sweatpants for twenty-six hours?”
“Well,” He said, leaning down to press his lips against yours. “I think you look beautiful.”
“Hmmm,” You hummed brushing your lips against his once more. “I think that’s the jet lagging talking.”
“Let’s go to bed then.”
Before you even had a chance to turn around and head back through the door, you felt Bucky’s flesh hand run down your back and behind your knees while you felt the cool touch of vibranium brush against your back.
“What are you-” You began just as Bucky bent down and lifted you into his arms bridal-style- your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck and holding onto him for dear life as he did. “Buck!”
“What?” He asked, pushing the door open with his foot. “This is our first time going home as a married couple, Y/n. I gotta carry you over the threshold.”
“That’s a stupid tradition.”
“Yeah?” He asked. “How about I just drop you then?”
Just as he said that, his hands let go of you for a moment before catching you once again.
“Buck!” You squealed, tightening your grip. “Fine! Fine! Carry me over the threshold or whatever.”
Smiling to himself at your concession, he lifted you once more, pulling you tighter towards him as he stepped one foot in through the front door of your home. You had to admit as you stared up at him while in his arms that you felt your cheeks grow warm, still shy in such a personal moment despite the fact that you two had been together for years and had just gotten married seven days ago. Not being able to help yourself from the smile on your face, you pressed a kiss against his scruff before nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck.
“Not so bad, was it?” He asked once he stood in the foyer.
“I gotta admit, Buck.” You said stretching out your hand that held your wedding ring on your finger while still being carried in his arms. “I could get used to this.”
Stepping into the entryway, you felt a pang in your chest at how empty the house felt knowing that your husband would no longer be waiting behind any of those doors.
You felt like a stranger in your own home, studying it for the first time as your heels clacked against the hardwood floor, noticing Bucky’s old combat boots still sat by the doorway, waiting for their owner that would never come home.
You always nagged him about leaving his shoes in the middle of the hallway- how you would always trip over them when you weren’t watching where you were going.
Now you just wished you could call his name and hear his voice echo throughout house one more time.
“Buck!” You shouted. “Your shoes-”
“It’s fine, doll.” He said, making his way into the hallway. “I was just about to go out.”
You quirked your eyebrow and crossed your arms.
“Oh really?” You asked. “And where are you headed Mr. Barnes?”
Snatching the boots from your hands, he bent down and pecked your cheek.
“To get flowers Mrs. Barnes.” He said. “I’ll be right back.”
As you stared at the shoes now, you almost felt as if he was there with you. His shoes were no longer in the middle of the floor, but set by the door just like you had always asked him to do.
It was almost as if he knew he’d be leaving you with them one last time.
He never liked you tripping without him being there to catch you.
Stepping over the floorboard that always creaked, you made your way into the living room, the light that was pouring in almost taunting you, reminding you of the way you used to admire your husband’s sculpted features in its soft glow.
You brushed your fingertips against the record player near the doorway, recalling the look on Bucky’s face when he opened his Christmas gift to find the same record player his mother used to have eighty years before.
Bending down in front of the device, you sorted through the records on the shelf, thumbing through all of Bucky’s favorites to find the one you were looking for. Finally finding the fated record, the corners of its album ruined from the amount of times you and your husband had picked it out, you slid the record out of its case and into your hands, the album falling to the floor besides you.
Setting the record into the player, your lip began to tremble as the music softly carried into the air.
“No,” Bucky corrected you, glancing down at the both of your feet. “Like this, doll.”
You followed Bucky’s movements, one of your hands rested on his chest while the other was on his back. When he stepped back, you stepped forward, and as you finally stopped stepping on his toes, you glanced up at him hopefully.
“Like this?” You asked.
“Just like that, doll.” He said smiling. “You got it.”
Feeling proud of yourself for finally getting the dance movements your husband had taught you down, you laid your head against his chest as the two of you continued to slow dance in your living room. You closed your eyes as you allowed the music to flow through your ears and the warm glow of the holiday lights to embrace the two of you.
No matter how many holidays you went through, all of them were better by his side. Even as you spent Christmas Eve dancing by yourselves in your own quaint living room, you couldn’t think of any other place you would ever want to be besides in his arms.
“Merry Christmas, James.” You whispered, as he hummed along with the music.
Rubbing circles into the small of your back, Buck pressed a light kiss on the top of your head without missing a step.
“Merry Christmas, Y/n.”
Feeling your heart sink to the pit of your stomach, you let out a sob you didn’t even realize you were holding in. It quickly felt as if the walls began closing in on you and the music you had once shared with your beloved was taunting you on every note. You rushed out of the room, the music following you into the hallway as you began rushing up the stairs, gripping onto the handrail for dear life.
Your heart began racing as you reached the last step and shoved open the door of you and Bucky’s shared bedroom.
It was still torn apart from the last time you and Bucky had stayed there. Both of your clothes were strewn across the floor- your closet flung open and old suits of yours and his spilling out from its frame.
You felt yourself choke as you realized how much life was in this room- how everything in here was still exactly the way that he had touched it- the way he had left it.
You wanted to grab his shirt and hold it to your nose- pretending he was still there with you- but you feared that if you actually moved it even a centimeter he would really, truly be gone.
You started hyperventilating at the room surrounding you, the music from downstairs still drifting into your ears. Everywhere you looked reminded you of him- his touch, his smile, his presence- him. You couldn’t fathom that he was gone. That he was taken from you.
You would never hear his laugh again, never come home with him. You would never nag him about his shoes or slow dance with him on cold winter nights. You would never be able to hold him in your arms or tell him how much you loved him one last time.
You caught the glimmer of an object on top of the pile of scattered clothes and not being able to help yourself you slowly made your way over to the bed. With trembling hands you picked up Bucky’s watch from the bed, turning it over with your fingers.
“Till The End of Time.”
Whatever composure you had left crumbled along with you as you fell to your knees.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.
You and Bucky had given your lives to saving the world- to being its protectors. He had suffered more than many could even imagine. You had given and given and given and just when you finally got to receive, it was snatched from your hands too soon by an unforgiving force.
He didn’t deserve to die. You didn’t deserve to be forced to know a life without him.
You were tired. You were robbed. You were distraught.
You were empty.
You clutched the watch in your fist so tightly you were sure the glass would shatter against your skin but as you struggled for breath, choking on your own sobs as they caught in your throat you lost control.
The ground beneath you came apart, the clothes that had once been scattered across the room spinning around you as the house you were trapped in blew apart and came together like a beating a heart.
You arms were thrown in the air, using every bit of strength you had to take down the titan in front of you. It was difficult, but you grunted as you felt the pressure weighing down on you- trying your best to keep his force from tearing you down.
When you heard your husband’s voice scream at you from across the battlefield, though, you lost focus.
When your head was turned for less than a second, your guard let down, the mad titan wrapped his hand around your throat and pulled you up from the ground.
Your powers were useless against him as long as he had the stones, so all you could do was wrap your own hands around his wrists- trying to no avail to lose his grip and allow yourself to be set free.
Bucky watched in horror as you struggled in Thanos’ grasp, kicking your legs against the air.
He focused himself quickly, trying to find any way to successfully set you free- to save you.
That’s when his eyes landed on it.
The gauntlet on Thanos’ hand.
His eyes glanced from the taunting stones to your struggling form in the titan’s grasp.
Years ago it would’ve been easy to make a decision like this- it would’ve been easy for him to lay down his life for the greater good. He had lived long enough. He had seen enough. He was tired.
But then he met you and it was like he was finally living a life again.
He would easily lay down his life for you, but he wanted so desperately for there to be another way.
He wanted there to be some clue- some answer- that would keep him with you. That would let him live out the rest of his natural life with you because even if he lived until two-hundred it wouldn't be enough. No time spent with you would ever be enough.
But you living though? That would be enough.
Bucky threw the gun in his hand onto the ground and with a running start, leaped towards the titan, briefly grabbing his fist in his hand.
Thanos, so consumed in his own rage, only swat Bucky away without even realizing what he had done.
As the air began to leave your body, Bucky stared at the six stones in his hand. Even with the vibranium, he began to feel the energy being sucked out of his body from the stones and the weight they laid on his senseless palms.
He looked up and saw your eyes fluttering and knew he had to act quick.
How did he live until one hundred and six and still feel as though he hadn’t had enough time?
With his trembling flesh hand, Bucky shoved the stones onto the vibranium knuckles of his other hand, biting back a guttural shout as the power burnt his fingertips and the palm of his hands.
“Y/n!” He shouted, raising his vibranium hand.
Thanos loosened his grip just enough that you could finally gasp for breath but when you did, you saw the sight of your husband over Thano’s shoulders kneeling on the rubble, the stones on his vibranium hand with sparks of energy running up his arm.
You felt your heart stop in your chest in that moment, the world stopping around you as you locked eyes with Bucky.
Bruce’s words from earlier ran through your head-
“None of you could survive.”
You knew none of you could. You knew Bucky couldn't. You knew when he snapped his fingers it would be the end of the line for him.
You knew he lived such a long life, but how could you be asked to let him go? How could you let him sacrifice himself when he had finally found peace after so long?
In that moment you wished you had more energy- that Thanos hadn't nearly knocked the life out of you so you could utilize your powers. So you could kill Thanos yourself. So you could put a forcefield around the two of you and let the battle run its course. So you could- in the very least- use your telepathic abilities one last time to let your husband know you loved him- that you were proud of him. That even after years of fighting it- he was a hero.
Even without words, though, as your sights set on him through teary eyes, you understood everything that was going on inside his head. Love, you thought, sometimes had the ability to be stronger than magic and you were grateful in that moment to have such a shared such a passionate life with the man in front of you.
As desperately as you tried to shake your head to deter to him, to stop him, to let you find any other way to save yourself, he only smiled and nodded.
“I love you!” He shouted as his fingers moved into position.
But it was too late as you watched his fingers snap in front of your very eyes.
Thanos dropped you from his grasp immediately upon the colorful blast exploding around your husband. You scrambled to your feet as you ran over to him, dropping to your knees as soon as you saw his frail body lying amidst the rubble.
You had seen Bucky in pain more times than you could count, but you had never seen him so weak, so colorless, so... so lifeless.
You felt your lip tremble as you examined him.
The vibranium had burnt into the skin up his neck and across his chest, his pupils blown and blood dripping from his mouth. You rested your hands on his chest and ran them up his skin to cup his cheeks and when you did, you let out the sobs you hadn’t even realized you were holding in.
“Buck?” You called, as his eyes focused on you. “James. James, you can’t leave me okay? I- I can’t do this without you. I... I didn’t have enough time. I need you. I need you to stay with me.”
You knew it was impossible. You knew there was no way he would ever be able to come back from this, but your heart wouldn’t let him go. You couldn’t let him go.
As his eyes began fluttering shut, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into your embrace, your face falling into the crook of his neck.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, you know that?” You sobbed. “I love you. I love you, okay? I’ll find you this time, James. I’ll find you. I love you.”
As Sam felt the ground rumble beneath his feet, he turned around, only to notice that the house behind him was surrounded in the familiar golden glow of your magic- the siding floating in the air as the house came apart in front of him- floating in the midst of your energy.
“Shit!” He cursed, rushing into what was left of left of your house. “Y/n!”
Running through your foyer, Sam watched as the staircase in front of him began falling apart in front of his very eyes. As the floorboards separated from one another, Sam swallowed and with a running start hopped onto the first step, and then another- nearly losing his footing before getting the hang of it and making it up the rest of the way.
“Y/n!” He shouted once more.
As the walls came apart briefly, he saw your sunken figure on the floor of yours and Bucky’s shared bedroom, the air spinning around you as objects were thrown across the room by an invisible force.
Watching his footing, Sam hopped from floorboard to floorboard before shoving open what was left of your bedroom door and rushing to your side, dodging your night stand along the way.
When he fell to his knees behind you he was almost afraid to stop you, but watching his broken friend hunched over on the floor sobbing, he knew what needed to be done.
“Y/n?” Sam said, laying his hands on your shoulders. “Y/n, listen to me-”
“It can’t be over, Sam.” You said between sobs, gripping the watch tighter in your hands. “I wasn’t ready-”
“You’re never really ready, Y/n.” Sam said, shuffling around to kneel in front of you. “But you can’t bring him back-”
“But what if I can?”
Sam’s eyes widened in horror at your proposition as he adamantly shook his head and squeezed your shoulder.
“You can’t Y/n.” Sam said. “Even if you could bring... bring something back... that wouldn't be Buck. He wouldn’t want you to do that.”
Heeding Sam’s words you nodded and looked up to meet his eyes. Staring around you at the mess you’d caused, the world still spinning around you, you glanced down at the watch and back to Sam before another sob escaped your throat.
“It’s not fair.”
He had never seen you so completely and utterly shattered and it broke his heart just to look at you.
Nodding along with your words, Sam moved his hands from your shoulders to your back and pulled you into his embrace. As soon as he did, you quickly wrapped your arms around him, sobbing into his black suit jacket.
“I know,” He said running his hands up and down your back. “I know.”
As Sam opened his eyes from soothing you, he watched as the house slowly began to fall back into place as your breathing slowed. The floorboards began sliding in one next to the other, while the light that had been pouring in quickly dimmed as your walls built themselves up once again. Sam watched in awe as the clothes on your floor found themselves back on hangers in your closet and your sheets folded themselves neatly on your mattress.
When everything had settled in your once dilapidated house, only the music on the record player downstairs still floating throughout your home, Sam pulled away.
“I know it’s hard and none of us can ever replace him,” Sam said. “But you’re not alone, okay? We’re all here for you.”
Sniffling, you nodded your head.
“Alright?” He said shooting you a closed smile. “Let’s get out of here for a bit, okay? I always thought this place was a little stuffy anyway.”
Letting out the first hint of a smile in days at your friend’s poorly timed joke, you shook your head and wiped the tears from your cheeks.
As Sam pushed himself up and off the floor in front of you, he reached out his hand for you and pulled you up. When you stood up and adjusted your dress, you brushed by Sam to your dresser where your wedding ring sat, it’s pair now hanging on a necklace with your lost lover.
You had taken it off before meeting up with everyone to bring half of humanity back. You hadn't wanted to lose it, but now as you held it in your hands again, you felt as though a piece of your husband still lived on within you. You could almost find peace in it.
Slipping the ring back onto where it belonged, you followed Sam out of your bedroom and down the stairs, making your way to his truck that he had driven you home from your husband’s funeral service in.
Although you couldn’t explain it, each step you took felt as though another part of you had returned. Just as you were about to cross the threshold, playing with the band on your left finger, you almost felt as if you were whole again. As if Bucky hadn’t left you. As if there wasn’t a gaping hole in your chest from his loss that you could feel the emptiness of every time you tried to breathe.
Then, you stiffened as you heard a familiar voice speak over the sound of “It’s Been A Long, Long Time” that had been floating from the record player into the foyer.
Slowly turning around, your heart stopped.
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『𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞!』
note : it's been a while since i last posted a fic but i will make a post about it because i decided to make a schedule about the postings so they won't be every day like before♡
pairings : bucky barnes x reader
word count : 770
request by @cherry-season (thank you! and for some reason, I can't tag you...) : you see 40s bucky at the museum.
warnings : fluff
*feedback is appreciated. please reblog so it can reach more people♡
You and Bucky were still new to being together. It’s has been only a few months since you two became a couple but you were head over heels for him.
He didn’t feel like just another guy who comes into your life and soon leaves. Bucky was more than an ordinary guy. He was different and you loved him for that.
Maybe it’s because he is an old man. God, he is 106 years old and he had lived in the vintage times you love soo much. Bucky was an old soul and you couldn't be happier to have him in your life.
Today you and Bucky went to your favorite coffee place in New York. It was a place from his past, which still existed to these days. The café has kept its old history.
You entered the cafeteria, the atmosphere of old spirits surrounding the place, the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods filling your nostrils as the soft 40s music was playing in the background.
You took your usual spot next to the windows and ordered two pieces of War Cake and two cups of coffee. “So what’s the plan for today, doll?” Bucky asked after taking a sit of this black coffee.
“How do you drink such a black coffee without cream or sugar, old man?” You teased not wanting to tell him what you had in mind. “I’m an old man? Look at you young lady in love with vintage things!”
“That’s different!” You exclaimed and took a bite of your cake with an annoyed expression. “You still haven’t answered my question.” Bucky murmured as he took a piece of his cake too.
You played with the fork, drawing shapes onto the plate. “I was thinking maybe we can go to the museum… The Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum.” You babbled and took a look at him.
“It’s the museum with the Captain America exhibit right?” Bucky furrowed his brows in confusion not knowing why you were nervous about asking. “Yeah, I haven’t been there but I really want to go.”
“Then we will doll!” He whispered and extended his hand gently placing it on top of yours. You gave him a small smile and muffed a low “thank you, Buck”.
You were standing in front of the museum holding Bucky tightly onto his hand. You weren’t exactly sure why you were scared to come here. Was it because of Bucky’s past or the way he looked and then?
You entered and the atmosphere of such a strong and honorable legacy engulfed you to your very bones. You saw the fake mannequins with the Howling Commandos uniforms and rushed to take a closer look.
“Oh, your uniform is soo pretty!” You whisper-shouted and Bucky noticed the sparks in your eyes. “Do you know that my uniform actually matched Steve’s because you know I’m his best friend.”
“Oh, your bromance can be felt from miles even if haven’t told me.” You chuckled and Bucky rolled his eyes at your childish reaction but his smile only grew larger. “I love it though.” You added.
As you were walking you saw the lighted display with a big picture of a younger version of Bucky. “Oh my god!” You exclaimed in shock. “You were soo handsome!”
“What I’m not handsome now?” Bucky joked and you looked at him with a serious expression. “Oh come on look at you! The military is lucky I wasn’t there at that time!”
“And why is that, doll?” Bucky’s smirk grew larger with every word. “Because I would have stolen you! That’s why!” Bucky couldn’t contain his happiness and let out a chuckle making you smile.
When you went on the other side of the display there was a video of Steve and Bucky. “Best friends since childhood Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable.” You read.
Bucky had a tiny growing beard on the black and white video and they were both laughing and smiling like idiots. “Why are you two laughing soo much on that video?” You asked.
“Well the person filming the video told us to act like friends and I told him that we are friends.” Bucky smiled at the memory. It has been such a long time since then.
“You are beautiful Buck. Back then and now it doesn’t matter. To me, you are the best.” You turned your body to face him and stood on your tiptoes, planting a gentle kiss on his lips.
“I love you doll.” Bucky murmured into the kiss and after you pulled away you looked him in the eyes. “And I love you too Buck.”
tag list : @lovie-barnes , @bbl32 , @littlecanadianlani , @iguana-eyanna , @meetmyblondemuffins
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Late Nights - Bucky Barnes x Reader | Little Beginnings
a/n: I have gotten so many requests to continue Little Beginnings. So here is another part! I hope you guys enjoy!
warnings: none but fluff
want to backtrack and read? click these links below that are in order;
| Baby Fever | Mini You | Little Beginnings | Dance With Me | Forever |
Link to my Bucky Barnes Masterlist
tagging: @fandomxreaders, @bloodyproudpotterhead
The months had found themselves to be passing before you could even realize. Week by week, you found yourself regaining your strength, but your midsection was protruding significantly. It came with horrible backaches, outrageous mood swings, and petrifying cravings. Bucky was mortified as he walked into the kitchen one night to see you with a pickle spear, dipping it in peanut butter.
“What the hell are you eating?” Bucky frowned at you, gagging to himself.
You giggled, offering him a pickle to which he shook his head quickly, opting for an apple from the fruit bowl.
Bucky came up behind you, pressing a gentle kiss against your shoulders. You heaved a sigh of relief. At just seven months, you had no idea whether or not you would be able to make it to nine. You were struggling enough already.
You smiled to yourself as Bucky’s hand slipped underneath the shirt you were wearing, which obviously belonged to him as none of yours fit anymore. He rubbed his hand across your belly, admiring the fact that held within your once smaller frame nestled the child that you two created together, out of absolute love.
“Are you scared?” You whispered, staring off into the darkened living room. Bucky kissed underneath your ear and down your jawline as he gently rocked your hips back and forth with his. He kept his arms around you and your head fell against his shoulder, your entire body relaxing into his.
“Out of my mind,” Bucky stated with truth resonating in his voice. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited to become a father, but I’m terrified of what he or she will think of me.”
You pondered on the he or she part of his sentence. You two had decided to keep the baby’s gender a secret until they were born, which meant as you decorated and purchased clothes, you kept your colors neutral just in case. But then again, a little girl can wear blue and a little boy can wear pink. There would be no discrimination.
“You’re going to be an amazing father,” You whispered to him, gazing down at the engagement ring Bucky had slipped onto your finger a little while back. You two agreed to get married once the baby was here and you both were okay. Bucky didn’t want you more stressed than you already were.
Sam and Sarah were helping you two out tremendously, especially Sarah. She was your go-to for all pregnancy-related questions.
“Will it look the same?” You whispered in horror one day sitting at her kitchen table. Sarah arched her brows in confusion, placing a hand on her hip.
“What are you? - Oh my God, yes, honey.” She busted out laughing, knowing exactly what you were talking about.
“Bucky will still want to touch me?” You said in embarrassment. Sarah stifled a laugh, tossing the dishcloth over her shoulder.
“If anything, he’s going to fall even more in love with you, especially after he watches you bring his baby into the world. You’ll be the sexiest woman alive to him if you aren’t already.” She winked, walking over to drape her arms over your shoulders. You smirked, thanking her wholeheartedly.
“You really think I’ll be a good father? I mean, I already know you’ll be an amazing mother.” Bucky pondered, bringing you back to the present. You turned around in his arms. The distance between you two had increased slightly, your stomach pressing against Bucky. You giggled, snaking your arms around his neck as you pulled him as close as you were allowed.
“Yes, a million times yes. You are already a wonderful father and this baby isn’t even here yet. You’re going to be amazing.” You leaned up and pressed your lips to his. He smiled into the kiss, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to hold you closer to him.
“You know, it seems like I asked you the same question when we slow-danced in the kitchen a few months ago,” You smiled to yourself, remembering that you were the one asking if you weren’t going to be good enough. What if the baby just didn’t like you? Oh, that still was a fear that was pushed into the back of your mind, but it was sometimes a thought.
Bucky laughed, kissing you again.
“Parenthood… gotta love it.” He chuckled, hugging you tight against him. You breathed out a sigh of relief, your anxieties washing away in the strong embrace of your soon-to-be husband and father to your unborn child.
Time was soon going to be up and that little bundle would be nestled in yours and Bucky’s arms.
Oh, the days were numbered.
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Galas, New Dates and Exes (Pt. 3)
Warning: drama, pregnancy loss, sad Bucky.
Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) broke up and they see each other for the first time at one of Tony's parties. The only problem is, she has a new date.
Word Count: 1.5k
Comment if you would be interested in a pt. 4! Would you guys like to keep this as a mini series? (aka just two more parts?)
Pt. 1 Pt. 2
“She never told him.” Natasha whispered, shocked. As the realization set in, she saw Steve marching towards the ex-couple in the balcony. She grabbed his bicep, “Steve, don’t.”
“Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of twisted joke? He has the right to know- do you have any idea of how heartbroken he’s been these last few months.” Steve shot back, anger slowly enveloping his whole body.
As Natasha heard what the captain was saying, she too felt her body consumed by anger. “Did you hit your head on something? Please tell me if you did because what you’re saying makes no sense! Am I supposed to feel bad for Bucky? I’m sorry the guy got what he deserved.”
“This is my best friend we’re talking about.” Steve warned.
“He’s been dealing with his consequences, while (y/n) has been dealing with the worst loss a woman could ever feel. I never had the chance to feel that, but after seeing and consoling (y/n) these last six months I’m glad I never got the opportunity.” She said, still holding him with a death grip.
“Let. Me. Go.” He said, he didn’t want to hurt his friend but in this exact moment the only thing he could think of was to tell Bucky what had really happened.
“Don’t make me do something I don’t want to do.” Natasha matched his tone. As Steve tried to break free from the redhead’s grip, she quickly twisted his arm and pinned him to the ground. Taking the, now broken, champagne glass to his jugular.
This commotion obviously made everyone turn around. Even (y/n) and Bucky came running into the room. Sam, who had only just regained consciousness after the massive revelation came rushing towards the two.
“This is just a drinking game that we made up!” He said with a laugh, trying to diffuse the situation. “It may not seem like it but Steve is actually winning!”
The other people started laughing awkwardly, an uncomfortable silence taking over the room.
The only thing that was heard was Peter saying: “I knew you guys were in some sort of weird sex cult!”
“You know, I wouldn’t have imagined that America’s ass and perfect citizen Captain America, would be into these freaky things.” Tony said as he came over. “As for you, I expected none the less.”
The crowd started to separate, and Natasha let out a nervous laugh as she stood up and extended a hand towards Steve.
“She’s right Steve.” Sam said in a whisper. “This is between the two of them, we don’t need to be messing around with that.”
Natasha turned around to face Steve. “I’m sorry about that, but I made a promise to (y/n). I opened my huge mouth, I messed up. But I can’t let you tell Bucky.”
“You know he has the right to know.” Was the only thing Steve could say, looking out at where (y/n) and Bucky were. “He’s been devastated ever since they broke things off.”
“You know he was the one who started that fight. He may have had the right to know then, but after everything he did, he doesn’t have the right now.” Natasha said.
“Steve, you know Bucky is my partner, but she’s right. Whatever is in the past, leave it there.” Sam patted his friend on the shoulder.
“I was once in the past, doesn’t mean I should have been left there. She’s going to have to tell him at some point. If she doesn’t, I will.” Was the only thing he said before storming off to the bar.
Outside, a completely different conversation was taking place.
“You know I still want to be with you, why would you say that?” Bucky whispered.
“Buck, you know you’re only saying that because you’re jealous.” (Y/n) laughed, not being able to keep up her tough façade. She never could with him. As she turned to face him, she saw the thing that could always make her melt. His smile. It was hard to get a smile out of him, but whenever he flashed his pearly whites at her it was like a ray of sunlight flashed and all her problems disappeared. “What? You smiling because you know it’s true?”
“I’m smiling because you called me Buck.” He said, taking her hand and pulling up towards his lips. Planting a soft kiss on her permanently black and blue knuckles. She was always embarrassed of them, it was like she could hear her mother scolding her about not being lady-like. ‘Nice girls don’t have bruises all over their bodies. Do you know what people will think of you?’ She heard her mother say. ‘I’m more interested in boys not looking up girls’ skirts than I am about what irrelevant people have to say.’ She would always reply, leaving her mother speechless and her father proud. Even if she never heard it from her, she knew her mother was proud. She knew that they were smiling down at her.
(Y/n) knew she wasn’t supposed to enjoy the warm feeling taking over her body. She knew it was wrong of her not to pull her hand away and storm off. But she had been feeling so unlike herself ever since the breakup, she just wanted to feel normal again. “That is you’re name, is it not?” she hummed looking up from her hand to the pools of blue hues that adorned his face.
“You called me Bucky earlier, you only call me that when you’re angry.” Bucky said taking her other hand and pulling her closer to him. “And it was never a ‘you didn’t put your socks in the hamper’ mad, it was always a ‘you definitely crossed the line’ mad.”
(Y/n) decided to ignore his comment and rest her head on his chest, she knew everything she was doing was wrong but couldn’t help it. He kissed her temple and for a moment, it was as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them. Months of tears and red wine stained teeth simply vanished with one single kiss. Bucky took (y/n)’s hand and placed it on his shoulder, taking the other one to guide her to the beat of his humming. She didn’t recognize the song, he had played it for her once or twice saying it reminded him of the old days.
“Do you remember that time we were out in Madripoor? After that mission?” She said, lifting her head a little, only to see him looking back at her.
“You mean the time I got wasted on that strange liquor?” he laughed, the thought of her trying to drag him through the streets making him smile.
“Exactly!” She managed to say through huffs of laughter. “The night two-drinks Booze Bucky appeared!”
He kept humming and dancing with (y/n) for a couple of minutes before she knew it was time to separate. “We had some good times.”
She felt him tense up as soon as she said that. “We can still have them, we can even create more good memories.”
“You know we can’t handsome.” She managed to croak out, her throat closing up. She felt that burning sensation on her neck, it was as if her body was trying live in the memories.
“We can, I know we can.” Bucky looked down at her, his eyes pleading and his voice reduced to a whisper. “You know I want to, please tell me you do too. Those memories are all I have.”
“Memories are always better in your mind.” She said, shattering the dream-like moment they were living.
Bucky shook his head, trying to stop the tears from rushing down his face. His emotions bubbling up inside of him, he could feel a panic attack coming. “Take that off.”
The sound of his stern voice startling her. “What are you talking about?”
“Take that fucking jacket off.” He said once more, not being able to contain the stinging feeling at the corners of his eyes. “Just tell me that guy is here to make me jealous, that he means nothing and I’ll forget everything we said that night, I promise. Please just-please.”
(Y/n) saw him pleading, a side of Bucky that almost never came out. “Buck I need to tell you something about that nig-“
(Y/n) was interrupted by Pepper coming out into the balcony. “(Y/n)?”
As the former couple turned around, Pepper continued: “Nicholas just called, um-he- he wanted to know if he could have your number. Can I give it to him?”
(Y/n) felt torn between two worlds. Her past with Bucky or a new beginning with Nicholas. She knew her answer.
“Yes, you can tell him to call me.” She felt ashamed by her reply, Pepper nodded her head and started heading out. Before taking one last look at Bucky, she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. “Buck I just wanted you to know, we will always love you. No matter what.”
With an encrypted message, Bucky was left behind. Seeing the love of his life leave him, for the second time.
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unlike any other
pairing: mob boss!bucky barnes x maid!f!reader
genre: angst, fluff, smut (AH THE HOLY TRINITY)
warnings: mention of blood, mention of wounds,,,,,,,,, sex (but only a lil bit)
word count: 1.8k
summary: bucky barnes, among many things, owns a strip club. y/n works there as a maid, but she has only recently joined so she has no idea who he is. one day, she catches him napping in one of the private rooms after closing time and, not knowing that he owns the place, asks him to leave because it's a "staff only" room. mesmerized by her, he leaves without a word but a few days later, she finds out who he truly is. sparks fly? sparks fly.
author's note: hiya peeps! enjoy!
James Barnes was tired.
All he wanted to do was go home and get a good night's sleep, but this moron in front of him was proving it to be very difficult. "What aren't you getting about my plan, Johnson?" he growled, a deep glare etched on his face as he disdainfully stared at one of the men who worked for him. "Why are we doing this at all?" Oh, Johnson has quite the mouth on him, can't wait to break all his fucking teeth.
"Are you the boss or am I?" Bucky countered, putting his arms up, exasperated. Johnson was about to reply when Bucky decided he was too tired to deal with him at all. "You know what, how about we talk tomorrow, hm? Leave, now." With an audacious huff, Johnson got up and left the room. As soon as he was gone Bucky groaned loudly.
"That man," he muttered to himself, "Is a fucking idiot. I'm gonna have to talk to Sam tomorrow, why did he even suggest—" Bucky then relaxed back onto the couch he was sitting on, leaning further and further back until he was simply lying down, head resting on the armrest.
James Barnes was tired.
And he needed a fucking nap.
James Buchanan Barnes. He commonly went by the name Bucky, and he ran the biggest, most affluent mob in the city. Currently, he was at a strip club that he owned, which also had private rooms for… basically hooking up, but he never used it for that, using it only to hold meetings with potential allies or his men.
He dozed off on the couch but was able to sleep for only about 30-45 minutes before someone was shaking him awake.
“Phew, last room! Why does this place have so many rooms?” Y/N grumbled to herself, opening the door to the private room. She was a maid recently hired by the club, and her job was to clean up all the private rooms after the closing time. They paid her well so she didn’t mind doing the job. When she opened the door, though, she noticed a man sleeping on the couch.
All his clothes were still intact and his hair was also done nicely… She scrutinized him for a while longer, taking note of his handsome, chiselled features and how he dripped of power even when he was asleep. Finally, a few minutes later, she decided to wake him up. However powerful he might seem, the rooms after closing were for staff only and he needed to leave.
“Excuse me, sir?” Y/N gently shook his shoulders, startling him awake. He blinked his eyes open and in his hazy state of mind, he thought there was an angel standing above him. “What?” he yawned and Y/N offered him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, you gotta go, the club is closed for the night and this is a staff-only room,” she told him and he blinked.
She didn’t know him? “I, uh, yeah, I’m sorry,” he complied, sitting up. He took in her appearance as well; she was wearing a cheesy maid’s costume that fit the aesthetic of the strip club perfectly, yet there was a sort of innocence to her, the kind that would make even the most cold-hearted and powerful of them all want to cater to her every whim without question.
“Uh… see ya around,” she raised her eyebrows and Bucky offered her a quick smile, getting out of the room. “Behaving like he owns the place,” Y/N scoffed to herself as she began cleaning up the mess in the room starting with the empty alcohol bottles. She couldn’t stay mad at him for long, though- his handsome face could make anyone’s heart melt. As the thought passed through her head, a small smile bloomed on her face.
Oh stranger, I really hope we meet again soon.
As Bucky drove home, he, too, thought of the maid. Who was she? Why had he never seen her before? And why didn’t she know him? That night, as he went to bed for the second time, all he saw in his dreams was a lovely maid’s costume and a pretty, pearly white smile.
“I’m firing that guy,” Bucky told Sam determinedly. A few days had passed since Bucky’s meeting with Johnson and he was more determined than ever to get rid of the guy. Something about Johnson seemed off. “Wh- You hired that guy like a week ago, what happened? He used to work with Pierce and Rumlow before, he can give us valuable intel-”
“What if he never stopped?” Sam quieted at the retort. “He told us how horribly they treated their own men,” Sam answered a little while later. “What if he’s lying?” Bucky asked impatiently. “Give him a chance-” Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Bucky sighed and Johnson poked his head in. “Got a minute, boss?”
“Oh sure, come in, we were just discussing you! Have a seat!” Sam raised an eyebrow at Bucky’s sudden cheerfulness as Johnson happily bounded into the room, plopping down on the couch. “What were you discussing?” he questioned. “How I was just about to fire you,” Bucky smirked and Johnson’s face fell.
He didn’t speak for a few minutes, causing Sam and Bucky to glance at each other. “Hello…?” All of a sudden Johnson stood up with a fit of rage. “Damn it, Barnes, you ruin everything!” Bucky shouted triumphantly as Sam gasped. “I knew you were a fucking two-timer, you son of a bitch!” Bucky yelled at him. “And you made it so easy!” Johnson laughed dryly.
“Why you-” Bucky swung a punch at Johnson’s face, breaking his nose. “What have you told Pierce?!” Johnson retaliated right back by kicking his knee into Bucky’s abdomen, making him fall back. A fight soon broke out between all three of them, so loud that the commotion could be heard from outside.
Approximately 20 minutes later Y/N, who was passing by the room at the time, heard the loud noise and stopped in her tracks. It sounded like… two people fighting. It wasn’t her cleaning time yet, but she still rushed to the door, opening it up with such force that the door loudly banged on the other side. At this, the fight instantly halted.
Bucky was holding an unconscious Johnson by the collar, his fist an inch away from Johnson’s jaw. Both of them looked pretty beaten up, with blood all over their faces and clothes. Sam, meanwhile, was half-lying on the couch, clutching the side of his abdomen with a pained look on his face. Y/N’s hands flew to her mouth at the sight of them.
That was when she recognized the man from a few days ago. Oh shit, he does own the place. Bucky immediately got up and dusted his suit, staring down at a passed-out Johnson with a sneer. “Sam, take him to Wanda, she’ll know what to do with him. And please, for the love of God, go to the hospital.” With the help of a few others, Sam and Johnson left.
It was only Bucky and Y/N in the room now. She continued staring at his face in horror and Bucky chuckled, wiping away a trail of blood near his lips. “That bad?” She snapped out of her trance. “You…” Bucky gave her a wry smile. “Bucky Barnes at your service. And you are?” Y/N blinked a few times before answering. “Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” Bucky looked around.
“Well, Y/N, if you’d be so kind as to fetch me a first aid kit.” She instantly walked out of the room and got the first aid kit for him. When she returned to the room, Bucky was sitting on the couch, his jacket and shirt removed. Even his torso was covered in black and blue bruises. "It looks bad," she blurted out.
"Will you help me clean up?" Y/N couldn't deny him. He was her boss, after all. She sat down next to him and wordlessly started cleaning the blood off his face. He didn't so much as flinch, which Y/N found to be extremely impressive. After all the blood was cleaned, Y/N grimaced when she saw his broken nose. "Your, um, your nose…" Bucky easily grabbed his nose in both hands and clicked it into place.
Y/N flinched badly at the action, making Bucky laugh. "Come on, princess, it's not that difficult," he teased her and she shook her head, a smile blooming on her face. "So, um, I'm sorry about that day," she mumbled as Bucky kept the first aid kit away. "Sorry? For doing your job? Don't do that."
She looked up at him. "No, I- I should've known it was you, and I just… maybe I could've been more polite-"
"Sorry, you gotta go, the club is closed for the night and this is a staff-only room," Bucky quoted verbatim, "You couldn't have been more polite." Y/N's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she shuffled her feet. "Please don't fire me," she whispered under her breath, yet Bucky managed to hear her. And when an opportunity presents itself…
"On one condition."
She looked up at him, wide-eyed and nodded excitedly. "Anything you want." Bucky smirked and sat back down next to her, placing his hand on her bare thigh. "Go on a date with me," he breathed out, leaning close to her. Y/N's breath and heart rate hitched at his forwardness, but she didn't have the will to deny him.
He was good-looking, he was rich, he was polite, why not give it a try? Y/N offered him a small smile. "Um, okay, I'd like that a lot," she agreed truthfully and Bucky grinned, pressing his lips to hers without wasting a moment. Y/N kissed him back, cupping his face with her hands.
In the heat of the moment, Bucky bent forward until the back of Y/N's head touched the armrest; still, they didn't pull away from each other. Bucky sneakily got his hand under Y/N's blouse, the skin on skin contact making them both groan. "Ugh, you really are very pretty, you know?" Bucky whispered as he unbuttoned her blouse and threw it away.
He stared in awe at her bra-covered breasts, his shaft twitching impatiently. But, just as he was about to unbuckle her bra, the door swung open. Bucky immediately hid Y/N under him and looked up at a horror-struck Sam, who ran out of the room screaming, "At least lock the door next time, asshole!"
Y/N giggled when she saw Bucky's flustered face. "He's right, you know," she whispered cheekily and Bucky playfully narrowed his eyes at her, attacking her neck with kisses and love bites.
"Talk to me like that again and you'll be in for a long night, pretty face."
"Oh, I'd like to see you try, boss."
a/n: thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed it!
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A Man Who Drinks Tea - Oneshot
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern Mob AU)
Word Count: 2.9k
Summary: This wasn’t the first time Bucky Barnes had been in her apartment, she just wished it would be the last.
Warnings: angst, fluff, talk of violence, descriptions of smut, lots of swears, misunderstandings, right person wrong time cliche, Bucky being bad at communication
A/N: Inspired by a scene from Peaky Blinders. I kinda took a few lines and ran with what came up in my head.
To see if there’s a happy ending, click here.
Copyright Notice: I do not own any of the images used in this post, credit to their original owners. I do not own any of the Marvel characters, they belong to Marvel. This is my own creative piece of writing, you do not have permission to repost it as yours on any other sites and/or translate it (without my written permission). That counts as plagiarism, which is illegal. Reblogs are fine, and encouraged!
Really, the only reason she stayed at that job anymore was because the customers tipped well and the pay was, ironically, more decent than what she would have gotten from a half-legal business.
Not that she paid attention to what happened when her boss stalked into the soundproofed private rooms right behind the liquor cabinets of her bar. In fact, she was paid so much in order to turn a blind eye. To ignore the trickles of blood against Bucky’s collar as he walked out again with his hair slightly tousled and his cheeks flushed, to only pass him a glassful of his favourite whiskey and to get on with her job with her head tossed down, ignoring the way Steve would soon follow, dragging a groaning lump of a man out of the room with a sneer.
No, she was the smiling face of it all. Pouring drinks one after the other and wiping the counter down periodically. Really, it was a simple job, much more simple than what some of Bucky’s other men had to do every night.
Except that tonight, last night, because it was close to three in the morning, had been different. A handsy drunk, reaching over the counter and trying to get some more cheap rum, when he’d already finished off two bottles that night. When she placed the bottle at the back, he started reaching for her, and her chest, yanking her forward by the collar of her shirt.
She didn’t even have time to react before the man was pulled off her and thrown onto the ground, his blood soaking the ground in instants.
And now, Bucky Barnes was following her back to her apartment with a black eye and broken knuckles, a strange limp in his leg that wasn’t there at the beginning of the day.
Maybe it was time to get a different job, she thought, sitting beside him on the couch with a quiet sigh.
“That was wrong of you to do,” she said, finally, breaking the silence that had fallen on the room, rummaging around for some wipes.
“It was my job.”
“And now it’s Steve’s to clean up yours.”
“Sounds about right,” he winced and let out a small hiss as the disinfectant stung his broken knuckles.
“Still, you shouldn’t have done that.”
She could feel his eyes boring into her face, and she stubbornly kept her eyes on his hands, “It’s done now.”
“I wish it wasn’t,” she gestured with her head towards his hands, and immediately saw her mistake.
“You’re not starting to care about me, doll, are ya?” He tried and failed to catch her eye as she was engrossed in folding and unfolding the gauze on her lap, her fingers fluttering nervously. “‘Cause I’m a shit person to be caring about.” Her silence was answer enough, “That’s a shame, wish you’d told me when you felt it happen.”
Ignoring the way her heart stopped beating in her chest, she whispered, “What would you have done?”
He paused for a moment, “I would have laughed, probably would have lost your job.”
Typical. Her heart started beating again, disgruntled and mad that it had considered stopping for Bucky Barnes. “Will I lose it now?”
“I’m still trying to decide,” he said in a gravelly voice that gave away that he'd already made his decision.
She finished her job with some tape, and immediately let go of his hands, her eyes fluttering closed and she took a deep breath, “Now can you see why I wouldn’t have come to you?”
“I do,” that’s what she hated most about him, the sheer amount of composure he held in his voice. “You have a bathroom?”
“Down the hall to your left,” she turned her head away from him and muttered under her breath. “The handle is a little jiggly.”
He knew it was down the hall to his left, he knew the handle was a little jiggly. But he was doing both of them a favour by pretending that he didn’t, that he hadn’t heard that exact sentence fall from her lips when she was lying naked, covered only by the sheets of her bed and the ignorance of the night. It was better that way, wasn’t it?
Yes, this wasn’t the first time Bucky Barnes had slithered his way into her apartment and heart. He’d done it once ten years ago, again in the dead of night. A night where he’d stayed at the bar counter instead of going to mingle with the crowd, whiskey in hand, and made talk with her until it was time to close. A night where, just as she locked the door to the bar and turned around, he was on her, claiming her lips as his own with a strong arm around her hip...a night where she hadn’t stopped him.
A night that ended too soon and brought a morning with harsh sunlight and consequences. Heat of the moment, wanted to make sure you got home safe…we’ve had some trouble with-
She didn’t remember the name. With the death of Bucky’s father, thousands of ambitious groups had sprung up over the city, and Bucky had his hands full for a long time to keep his power. She was stupid to have thought that there was anything behind his touches, the way he looked into her eyes. He was stressed, stress had to be released somehow.
She didn’t remember the name of the group, but she remembered the rough feel of his palms around her stomach, underneath her breasts. She didn’t even need to close her eyes to imagine the hot feel of his breath on her face, his hooded lids as his eyes bored into hers.
But it was the sounds. It’d be easy to forget everything else, but damn it, she didn’t even want to forget the sounds he made when he was inside of her. Never, had she been with a man so vocal, so...so...so-
As simple as that. Bucky. The arrogant bastard that handled her like a toy for his own pleasure and made her see stars in the process. Who rasped out praises in a voice silkier than honey as she lifted her hips to meet his own thrusts. Who-
Who had the audacity to call her, his, and leave her the next day with only a detached voicemail for explana-
The bathroom door opened and closed again, a set of footsteps ominously making their way back to the kitchen. In a haste, she fumbled around for something to hold in her hands to make it seem like she hadn’t been staring vacantly at that specific part of the counter he’d taken her apart in when they’d first stumbled into her apartment.
She only came up with the kettle.
“How’re your hands?” she asked, her back towards him as she turned on the sink.
“Seen worse,” even with only his voice, she could tell what he was doing, sizing her up and down, sizing the space up and down, it was a habit he’d quickly grown into.
“I didn’t wrap them too tight, did I?”
“Just tight enough for me, darlin’.”
Arrogant bastard. But it didn’t matter, no matter how many times she cussed at him in her head, she couldn’t stop the little flutter in the pit of her stomach whenever he talked like that.
Swallowing thickly, she turned around and placed the kettle on the stove, turning it on with a match and ignoring his piercing gaze, “Do they hurt?”
“Yes,” he talked as if he was sounding out the word for himself, dragging out the end for a split second too long. “But I enjoy it,” leaning against her fridge, he cocked an eyebrow.
Shit. What was she going to do with the hot water? “Would you like tea?”
“Tea?” he didn’t even blink before responding. “No.”
Of course, she should have known better than anyone else than to serve tea to Bucky Barnes. “I uh-I think my father left some whiskey-”
He cut off her stuttering, “Actually,” with a small nod, “tea it is.”
“Tryin’ to impress me?” she frowned, a little disgruntled and angry, so she turned instead towards the cupboards, searching for a box of tea that wasn’t obnoxiously fruity. Was it that hard to expect him to keep the past buried?
“Yes. Is it working?” He let his question die down, the kettle protesting against it, waiting until she’d poured them two cups of tea and steeped the teabags in them and was facing him again. “People look different at home.”
Suddenly, the exhaustion of the day kicked in and she gave up trying to walk on eggshells around him. Instead, she retorted quickly back, “In what way?”
“Off guard,” he tilted his head to the side, keeping his gaze fixed on her until the end where he quickly switched to a photo on the fridge.
Fighting the lurch that came up in her throat, she managed to get out, “Should I be on my guard?”
“No,” Bucky smirked, looking at her with lidded eyes, and raising his eyebrow, smirking. “I’m a man who drinks tea.”
“Could have fooled me,” unfazed, she handed him a mug of tea, taking her own in her hands and leaning against the counter.
“Aren’t you going to invite me to sit?” he tilted his head towards the couch they were on before.
“Now, why’s that?”
She was being too mouthy and they both knew it. If he’d gotten even half the attitude she’d given him from one of his men, Steve would be needing a body bag. But she kept it up, “I want you out of here quick.”
His eyes darkened and he placed his cup to the side, stalking over towards her and staring her down, “Really?”
She met his eye, and opened her mouth, ready to give her answer, but he tilted his head to the side and she closed it immediately. With a small smile, he stepped back again, and said her name quietly, “Look, I know more than anyone how much you want me gone.”
“Bucky, please, I don’t-”
“It was a bad night for me,” he kept going, voice steady and low, almost clinical in its rhythm.
“I don’t care, I don’t want your apology.”
“I’m not going to apologize,” he bored his eyes into hers. “There was trouble on the East side.”
“There always is-” she cut her words off with a gasp, as her head hit the wall behind her and his hand wrapped around her throat.
“A week before, I had lost three men,” his upper lip twitched, probably the only tell that he had when he was bristling with rage. “They’d glued photos of your face on their bodies.”
Her stomach lurched at the thought, but she kept a cold front, “So you protect me by fucking me and throwing me to the side when you’re done?”
“That’s not-” Bucky’s eyes softened.
“Fuck me like a whore and throw me out when you get bored?” she frowned. “You might as well take up Rumlow’s offer on those girls then. You’re no different-”
“You were supposed to leave,” he cut her off in a cutting tone and took his hand away from her neck. Taking a few breaths to calm himself, he messed up his hair and pulled on it, eyes falling to the forgotten cup of tea then back to her.
“What’s a girl like you doing serving alcohol to the sketchiest pieces of shit in town, huh?” he pressed, moving forward to her with a sense of urgency and staring her down.
“Pays well,” she said simply.
With a disbelieving scoff he looked down to the ground and up, looking for something to plead to for strength, “Sweetheart, this isn’t your place, you gotta go make something of yourself.”
“Like you have?”
“Told ya already,” he caught her eye, exhaustion billowing off him like flames. “M’a shit person.”
She closed her eyes in frustration, pinching the bridge of her nose and sighed, “Get out.”
“Get out,” she pressed again. “You’re not making any sense. Get out. It’s four in the morning.”
“Why didn’t you quit?”
He nodded, “After that night-”
“It was ten years ago, keep it buried...please,” she had lost all semblance of wanting to keep her pride intact.
“And you’ve spent ten years working in that bar after what I did, why?”
“What is it to you why I kept going?” she crossed her arms defensively.
He groaned in frustration, “You’re not fucking listening to me, damn it! You were supposed to leave.”
“Who the hell are you to be telling me what to do-” she was cut off by his lips pressing against hers, his hands taking a firm grip on her hips.
Pulling away, his eyes still closed he murmured against her lips, “Why didn’t you quit?”
With a frown, she pushed him away, gasping for air, “Fuck you, Bucky Barnes. Get out of my house.”
“Listen-” he moved forward, an urgency in his voice.
“No,” she pushed at his shoulder blindly and he stumbled back.
“They’d threatened you, multiple times-”
“I don’t care,” she gave him another hard shove, only a few metres away from the door.
“Fucking hell,” he groaned. “I didn’t know how to fire you.”
“It’s a simple fucking sentence,” she growled, throwing all her weight into her next push. “You’re fired.”
“I loved you!” he cried out finally, when his back hit the door.
Her blood ran cold, a bucket of ice water washing over her as she took a step back, shaking violently and her eyes blown wide in surprise.
Bucky looked down at his feet in shame, “I still do.”
“I do, I really-”
She reached behind him and unlocked the door, “You don’t use someone you love like that and abandon them for ten fucking years. That’s not love, and if it’s yours, I don’t want it.” Yanking the door open so it hit him in the back, making him stumble a few steps forward, she stood to the side and said in a calm tone, “Now get out of my house.”
Bucky swallowed and said in a gravelly tone, “They’d threatened you, and I was selfish.” He took her silence as progress and continued, pushing down his pride, “I used it as an excuse to follow you home, to keep a closer eye on you at the bar. All lies that I fed myself. I loved you the moment I saw you and...I took advantage of the situation I was in.”
He shuffled his feet forward and towards the door, “I used it all as an excuse and I made it to your bed. I-I-” she looked up at him, finally. It wasn’t often that he stuttered, “I wanted to ask you to be my girl. But then I woke up the next morning and they’d sent me a photo of you in bed. I couldn’t keep being so selfish anymore. And-” he took a deep breath, stepping out into the hallway, his hand on the door knob “-I thought if I left you like that, with no word from my end, you’d quit, and they’d leave you alone. Regardless, it was clear that they weren’t gonna let up as long as you were with me.”
He shook his head dismissively, “You’ve still got your job. But I can also pull some strings and get you a job downtown. A good office job. You’ll wear pantsuits and work a nine-to-five...you can make somethin’ of yourself.”
“I don’t want that,” she said in a wavering voice.
“Then I’ll see you this evening,” he caught her eye and looked down in shame. “M’sorry. I made choices for you that I shouldn’t have, and invaded your privacy.”
In an instant, she reached forward for his arm, before he had the chance to leave. Her eyes fell on the bandages wrapped around his knuckles and she looked back up at him again, “And last night?”
“Old habit,” he chewed at the small scar at the edge of his mouth, a small nick from when his father was drunk and playing around with a knife. His eyes darkened at the thought, “He’d been eyein’ ya up and down for weeks now.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What would you have done?”
He swallowed and responded in a thick tone, “The same thing I did last night.”
A door opened down the hall, one of her neighbours was a school bus driver and had to wake up with the sun to start his job. He stared at the two of them for a minute before shrugging and getting on his way, taking a large swig of his coffee.
“It’s late, you need to sleep,” he turned back to her, his eyes holding a world of pain in them.
“What about you?”
“Don’t need it, got a half hour before the meeting,” he leaned down and kissed her forehead softly. “G’night sweetheart.”
With a shaky breath, she closed her eyes and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him towards her and kissing him softly. She felt him smile against her lips, once again holding her body flush to his, allowing one free hand to roam the expanse of her back, settling in her hair. This, this, was what she’d been craving for ten years. His soft touch, the gentle flutter of his eyelashes, the warmth radiating from underneath his shirt.
With a sigh, she finally pulled back, her eyes still closed, “Can I interest you in some whiskey, Bucky Barnes?”
Thank you so much for reading! If you liked this, please consider leaving some feedback in my asks, and you can find the rest of my writing here.
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rainy days and video games
hiiii! happy saturday <3 hope you’re weekend is off to a great start. me & my friend were talking about this prompt over text yesterday and yeah...i had to write is asap. i thought this was adorable. hope someone enjoys! <3 also, 100% had no idea how to end this LMAO.
pairing: bucky barnes x gender neutral!reader
summary: it’s a rainy day and you introduce bucky to the world of animal crossing.
warnings: none! just pure fluff and bad writing <3
word count: 772 words
it was a rainy day—the pitter patter of the rain drops on the windows of your apartment were soothing as you laid on the couch, wrapped up in your favorite fuzzy blanket with your nintendo switch in your hand. you had just restarted your animal crossing island (for the fifth time) and were working hard to get three stars from isabelle.
the door to the bedroom shut and you looked up, seeing your boyfriend, bucky, walk out with a blanket in his hand. “what are you up to, doll?”
“just playing some animal crossing,” you replied as he came and sat down next to you. he draped the blanket over his legs and you uncurled your legs, throwing them over his lap.
“animal crossing?” bucky questioned. he stretched his neck, trying to get a look at your switch. you giggled softly and moved closer to him, allowing him to get a look at your game.
“yeah, it’s a really cute game,” you said, you began to move your character all around, giving bucky a tour of your current 2-star island.
“okay, but why is it called animal crossing? no animals are crossing,” bucky said, confusion laced in his voice.
you giggled. “because you have animal villagers. here, i’ll show you mine,” you replied. you went to each of your villagers’ houses, showing bucky everyone who lived on your island. bucky looked amused. “do you want to play?”
“um,” bucky said. “maybe?”
“gimme a second,” you said and laughed. you stood up off the couch, leaving the warm blanket cocoon you had wrapped yourself in. you walked into the bedroom, pulling out a box from underneath the bed.
you opened up the box and grabbed your old 3ds out of it, double checking to make sure the game was still in it. you walked back out into the living room and plopped down on the couch, rewrapping yourself up in the blankets before passing bucky the 3ds.
“that’s not the one i’m playing but it’s still an animal crossing game,” you said with a smile. he took the 3ds from you, the console looking a lot smaller in his large hands, and started up the game.
after you helped him make a new save file, the two of you played your separate games in a comfortable silence as a random movie played quietly on the television in the background.
an hour passed and you thought you had finally done enough to your island to make it 3-stars. you ran your character to the town hall to talk to isabelle, lighting up when she finally told you it was 3-stars and kk slider would be visiting tomorrow. “yay! my island is three stars.”
“i don’t know what that means, but good job, peach,” bucky said with a smile, leaning over to kiss your temple. his smile curved into a frown. “why did she just call me ugly? she doesn’t know what i look like.”
he showed you the screen and you laughed as you read the dialogue. “because they’re mean,” you said and shrugged.
bucky’s frown deepened. “i’m hungry. want something to eat?” he asked. you nodded your head. bucky closed out of the game and set the 3ds on the coffee table.
you gasped. “bucky! did you save?”
“i don’t remember. i think i did before that rude villager called me ugly. i haven’t done much though so it’s okay,” he said, standing up.
“no! resetti’s gonna come for your ass!” you exclaimed.
“who?” bucky said, furrowing his brows.
“resetti! he yells at you whenever you don’t save your game,” you said. “he’ll come visit you next time you open the game.”
bucky chuckled. “i think i’ll be okay, doll,” he replied, leaning down and capturing your lips in his. he pulled away, leaving a kiss on your nose. “’m gonna go make us some food now.”
“whatever you say, babe. don’t come crying to me when you’re getting yelled at though,” you teased. bucky playfully rolled his eyes before heading into the kitchen.
two weeks later, you came back to your apartment after a day at work. you let the door close behind you before calling out, “buck? i’m home!”
bucky came out of the bedroom, a frown on his face and your 3ds in hand. “a villager moved over my flowers.”
you giggled, rolling your eyes. you moved towards your dorky boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. “you are adorable.”
“i’m not! i’m really upset, that’s what i am.”
“i’m sorry, babe. you want me to yell at the villager for you?”
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Bucky x reader
Word count - 786
Warnings - fluff
A/n - Short and sweet. Just wanted to write something comforting since my anxiety has been acting up.
Life as an avenger was always stressful, if you weren’t preparing for a mission you were probably recovering from one and the tabloids always managed to make leaving the compound more difficult than it needed to be.
It was days like these when you questioned if the stress was getting too much, but it was the moments you spent with Bucky when your worries were quickly diminished, all of your negative thoughts forgotten and far away from the blissful cacoon you and your lover would wrap yourselves in.
It had been a tough day, you had returned from a particularly upsetting mission and had spent the little time you’d been back in a depressed slump, the other avengers either giving you understanding looks or sympathy pats.
You hadn’t managed to see Bucky all day and considering you’d been gone for a few days anyway, you were anxious to crawl into bed with your boyfriend tucked in beside you.
When Bucky entered the kitchen to see your head in your hands he began to worry, but when you met his eyes and instantly started sobbing, his heart broke.
You were immediately wrapped up in his arms as he pressed his lips to your forehead, his eyebrows furrowed as held you as close as physically possible.
You didn’t have to say anything, he picked you up, wrapped your legs around his waist, and walked you to your room.
When he sat you down on your bed you had managed to calm yourself down, silent tears now running down your cheeks as he knelt on the floor before you, tucking your hair behind your ears and kissing away your tears as they fell.
“You want me to run you a bath doll?” He whispered gently in the silent room and you sniffed and nodded.
Bucky picked you up again, carrying you into the bathroom and sitting you down on the sink, not wanting to leave you alone for a second.
You tried not to pull him closer when he began to pull away to run your bath, just needing him close.
As you focused on your breathing, your thoughts started wandering back to the mission, gory and traumatising images flashing behind your eyes and you felt yourself start to panic, becoming frantic.
“Bucky! Bucky I can’t-“
He shot up at the sound of your frantic voice, looking up from the bath he was preparing to see tears rolling down your cheeks again and your eyes wide, reaching out for him and he was stood in front of you instantly, wrapping his arms around you and holding you tight as you tucked your face into the crook of his neck and clutched at the back of his shirt.
“Shhh, it’s okay Doll. I’m here, I’m right here” His soothing voice made a shiver run down your spine and you focused on the feel of his arms around you, inhaling the familiar scent that can only be described as Bucky.
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at your apology, gently pulling away from the hug to tilt your chin up with his finger, brushing against your lips with his thumb as your bloodshot eyes met his.
“Don’t you apologise baby, you have nothin’ to be sorry for. You’ve had a hard time, ‘m gonna help you feel better, I promise.”
He leaned forward, placing the softest kiss against your lips and your eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, savouring the sensation.
Pulling away again, he quickly checked the temperature of the bath and turned off the tap when he felt that it was perfect, before walking back over to where you were sitting and offering you a loving smile.
He paused after gripping the hem of your shirt, silently asking for permission and then pulling your shirt off once you nodded at him.
After he took your leggings off and you were just sat in your underwear you reached forward to pull off his shirt too.
“Want you to join me” You explained when he gave you a questioning look and he kissed your forehead after his shirt was off.
Once you were both rid of your clothes Bucky picked you up again and gently placed you in the tub before sliding in behind you and holding you close against his chest.
Letting out a content sigh and letting his eyes fall shut he pressed a loving kiss to the back of your head.
“I love you” You murmured quietly as the warm water began to soothe your aching muscles and Bucky couldn’t stop the smile forming on his lips from your confession.
“I love you too Y/n” He kissed your shoulder and lingered there for a while, “so much.”
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You should see me in a crown, but you won't
Being the daughter of the royal family sounds all fun and games, except when you despise it all. The only one that seems to care is your bodyguard, James, but will that cause friction with your father?
bodyguard!Bucky x royalty!reader (female but nondescript)
[a/n: finally here’s chapter 1 of my bodyguard!bucky fic i’ve been talking about for agesssss. and tbh i could’ve gone on forever but it needed to end eventually]
taglist: barnesand1 (pls send an ask/message to be added to the taglist, replies always get lost)
(gif from buckybarnesj)
“Smile for me, Princess.” It was near impossible to hold in the glower that followed your most despised sentence. Nevertheless, you turned your head in the direction of the paparazzi voice, it was easier to obey than to deal with your father.
“Beautiful, Princess.” Another voice from the crowd of relentless buzzing and flashing cooed, grating your nerves.
“Yeah, right.” You retort under your breath, earning you a look that could kill from your father.
“If you hadn’t have dragged me here, you wouldn’t have to deal with me. Aria was basically begging you to take her instead.” Your remark came out as a hiss, leaning in to whisper in his ear.
“Well, Aria is the youngest, so as soon as you get married, she will be invited.”
“Marriage, again?” Your volume was louder now and, unbeknownst to you, attracting some more attention from the sea of people. “You really know how make an awful day worse.”
The ball had barely started, but you were more than ready to get the hell out of there. The brand new ballgown wasn’t even worth the hassle of having your father constantly pandering you to dance with all of the ‘eligible bachelors’ he had lined up for you.
As you’re about to turn on your heel to make your exit, a hand rests on your middle back.
“Not yet.” The low voice in your ear sent a shiver down your spine. “Everyone’s watching.”
“Get me out of here as soon as you can, James.” You felt James, your bodyguard, nod in response, taking a step back.
James had been your personal bodyguard for a while now. You could definitely remember when your father brought him in. It was after the incident with one of your fathers many adversaries. When your previous bodyguard had failed to keep you out of danger, probably due to the fact that he was ancient, your father replaced him with someone he knew would be capable of protecting you. You were in your early-mid teens at the time, but he couldn't have been over 20.
You were surprised by that, expecting your father to hire another old guy, middle aged at a minimum, so as not to ‘distract’ you from finding a husband. “He’s young so he’s capable of saving your life, if needed.” Was all your dad had said about it. He definitely had a point, he looked like he could kill a man with just a look. And you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t heard the stories of his life before he was hired by your father, and rumours of what he had done.
You shuddered at the thought, a bright flash and harsh tug of your arm bringing you back to reality.
“It’s time to go inside, Princessa,” James was the only one you allowed call you that. “The ball is starting.”
The ball had been going on for what felt like centuries. You’d lost count of the amount of men your father forced you to dance with. After every one of them, you looked over to James with pleading eyes. ‘Now?’ You would mouth, and he would just shake his head, ‘soon.’ A groan escaped your lips as you sulked back to your father.
“What are you sulking about?” You could feel the glare from your father, eyes burning into you. If looks could kill. “You’ve turned down every eligible bachelor I’ve lined up for you.”
“It’s almost as if I’m not interested.” You reluctantly take your seat next to your father's ridiculously oversized throne, avoiding his stare, knowing there was no way you could hold back the daggers you wanted to send him. “Well, it’s not about what you want, it’s about continuing the bloodline.”
“Like the world needs more of you running around.” You snatch two of the champagne glasses off a tray from one of the servers as they walk past you, downing one immediately. God, it tasted like shit.
"You're disgusting, pull yourself together." The second glass is yanked from your grasp by your father, and there's a sudden movement from behind you. James was by your side then, tense. It was his job to protect you, from everyone.
"I'm done here." Standing, you yank the tiara you were required to wear at events off, dropping it to the floor with a clang that drew the attention of the whole room. Your father hissed at you to sit back down, but you had already left the podium where your seats sat above the rest of the ballroom, James on your heels.
You hardly registered the flashing of the paparazzi as you climbed into the car, James holding the door open, blocking as much of the herd as possible.
"Where to, Princessa?" James slid into the drivers seat, automatically locking the doors. "Home?"
"Fuck no, anywhere but there." The thought of your younger sister giddily jumping around you, demanding the details on all of the boys made your stomach lurch. As much as you loved her and her love of love, she was the last person you wanted to be around. "You know where."
James looked at you through the rearview mirror, brows furrowing in a questioning glance. "In that?"
He was right, you looked down at the gown. It was definitely beautiful, but not something you could wear outside of a ball.
"Pass me the scissors from the first aid kit." Your hand passed through the space between the two front seats, palm up for James to place the requested item on. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" He leant over to the glove compartment anyway, knowing that you would do it either way.
"I think it's a fucking brilliant idea considering *he* bought me this dress." You snatched the scissors and took them to the dress, beginning to cut it off at your mid thigh, then changing your mind and cutting higher. The shorter the better, and the more pissed your father would be when you get home.
By the time you got to your favourite bar, the job was done and the dress now sat just below your bum. Perfect.
James stepped out of the car after pulling up in front of the bar, opening your door for you.
"Did you happen to bring my-" He was holding up your fake ID before you could even finish your sentence. "You're the best." You slid it out from between his fingers, offering him a devilish smile.
"I don't know why you even bother with it, everyone here knows who you are and that you're only 20, they just choose to ignore it because you spend so much." James rolled his eyes, opening the door to the bar for you, scanning the streets behind you both, ensuring you weren't followed. He couldn't help but steal a look at you in your new and improved dress.
You strutted to the bar the second you walked through the door, not wanting to waste a second of your time.
"Ah, Bella!" Your favourite bartender, an older Italian man, called to you, using his favourite nickname for you. "The usual?" You nod in response, taking your usual seat at the edge of the bar, James taking the seat next to you, positioned so that he could see all angles around you.
Antonio placed your signature drink down in front of you. "Thanks, Antonio, open up a tab for me would you?" He nodded as you took a long sip your porn star martini, humming as the liquid amber slid down your throat.
After that, you weren't sure how many martini's you had, but it was enough to make James move closer, heightening his alert.
"You're always so tense, Buck- I mean James," you were slurring your words, the alcohol causing you to slip up on his name. He was your bodyguard, it was a first name basis kinda deal. You didn't get personal with people in a life like this.
Before James had a chance to give you an answer, a commotion behind you both grabs your attention.
"Look, mate, I think you've just had a couple too many and are seeing things." One of the bartenders was holding someone back. You couldn't see much, but from what you could see, he didn't look like one of the other regulars.
"I can promise ya, that's not who you think it is." By now, the bartender was trying to push the troublemaker to the door, but he managed to push free and was now advancing towards you.
James was out of his seat in an instant, in front of you, blocking any way for the stranger to get to you.
"Look! I told you. It's the Princess, Y/N!" The guy stumbled forward, attempting to get past James to get a better look, not getting anywhere due to his solid stature.
"You must be new here." You scoffed, downing the last of your drink. "But everyone knows not to say shit." You slid your card across the bar to Antonio, standing to face the stranger. Your own stumble was covered by James, who's body was moving with you, continuing to be a wall between the two of you.
"So how about you get the fuck out of my face and let me enjoy my drink in peace." It takes all your strength to push past James, he was a mountain in front of you, but you were determined to put this man in his place yourself.
"And, if you have nothing left to say, which it seems you don't, you can turn right back around and walk out that door just there." Your finger points past his face, directing him to the exit, your mastered resting bitch face telling him you weren't about to take any of his shit, and definitely weren't going to back down.
"You're a lot more of a bitch in person." He snapped back, just making you laugh in response.
"Oh honey, you have no idea. I've dealt with assholes worse than you my whole life. You grow immune to caring what people think about you. Now get out of my way." James had grabbed your card from Antonio, and you were ready to get the hell out of there.
"What, you gonna make me? Just wait until the press hears about this, it'll blow up." Everyone in the bar tensed, knowing exactly where this was going.
"Oh, I won't, but he will." James stepped forward as you pointed at him, jaw jutting out in aggravation.
"Now, I'd think very carefully about what you do and say next. The press aren't going to hear a thing from you, he'll make sure of that." The mans eyes flicked to James, and you could almost see the cogs turning as he processed his options, his confidence wavering with every second that went by.
"Now, move, or he'll make you, and you definitely don't want that, as much as I'd love to watch." A smug smirk tugged its way to your lips as you watched the sweat bead on his forehead. His eyes fell to the floor and he stepped to the side.
"Smart man." Was all you said as you strode past him, shoulder colliding with his probably a little too hard.
"Oh, and remember what I said about the press." You spoke over your shoulder to him. "Because I'm sure my father would love to hear all about the man that harassed me." With that, you marched out of the bar, making sure to make eye contact with every single person. The threat was for everyone.
"Was all that really necessary?" James reprimanded you as he handed you back your card, walking next to you towards the car.
"I had to put the bastard in his place. Can't have people thinking they can act like that in my favourite bar."
"You don't think that was a little too much considering *everyone* there was staring. I can see this coming back to bite you." "Are you my bodyguard or personal advisor?" You snapped back at James, stopping in your tracks. You hadn't meant it to sound as harsh as it did, but he was starting to sound like your father and that wasn't going to fly. "I didn't mean it like that."
"I know you didn't, Princessa." James walked the couple of steps back to you, placing his arm around your waist to guide you to the car. "You drank more than usual tonight."
"Wait! I need to take these stupid shoes off." You started hopping on the spot, left foot now resting on your right knee as you fiddled with the buckle, not an easy action in your current inebriated state. In fact, you're so focused on attempting to take the shoe off, you barely register the fact that you're about to fall flat on your face. That is, until James sweeps around you, scooping you into his arms with ease. "I think this'll be easier." There's a hint of humour in his voice, but his face is his usual blank expression, looking at you for only a moment before continuing the walk back to the car.
As James was carrying you to the car, you could feel his arms under you. Which would normally not be cause to point out, except for the fact that only his right arm felt soft and flesh-y, as you would expect an arm to. His left arm felt... wrong. Hard, cold almost. It was pretty uncomfortable against your body, if you were being honest.
"James, you can put me down. I can walk." You were squirming in his arms, the discomfort increasing.
"Are you sure? I had one of the workers move the car 'round back. It's further now." But when he looked down to you, he saw how uncomfortable you were, so he paused and placed you down, both hands holding you waist to keep you steady.
"Better?" You could hear the concern in his voice, but he wasn't looking at you now, his eyes were anywhere but yours.
"Better." You confirmed. "But can you help me take these things off." You glared down at your feet, shaking your right one to signal to James what you were talking about.
It wasn't long before you were back in the black car, tinted windows making it impossible for you to see anything other than the orange street lights. The silence between you and James was almost deafening.
"Y'know," James cleared his throat, breaking the silence. "You can call me Bucky." He glanced at you through the rearview mirror as he said it, not sure how you would take it. Your eyes widened slightly, enough for him to notice. "You don't let anyone call you that." You thought back to when James had first come to work for your family. Your father had introduced him as Bucky and he just about lost his head for it. "It's James. Only James." James had said through grit teeth.
"You don't let anyone call you Princessa." Your eyes narrowed as he spoke. He had a point.
"Why?" It wasn't only your father that had found out the hard way not to call him Bucky, it was anyone that had tried to call him anything but James. You couldn't even remember the amount of people you'd seen removed from a room for questioning James, only to turn up again a couple of hours later looking a lot worse than they had before.
James was staring straight out the windscreen now, knuckles probably going white from how hard he was clenching the steering wheel. Not that you could see his knuckles, he was wearing his black leather gloves that you never saw him without. He always shoved his hands quickly into his pockets if he was caught without them on. "Look, you don't have to if you don't want to. It was just an offer." His jaw was tight, but he was trying not to make it obvious. He was failing.
"No, no. It's not that I don't want to. It's just- why?" You couldn't help your eyes widening at his sudden change of demeanour. James had never spoken to you like that. You'd be lying if you said it didn't upset you a bit.
James softened, grip lessening on the wheel. He was the one person in the world you trusted, and he had potentially just ruined that in 3 minutes. "Well, you did almost call me Bucky in the bar." His eyes glinted with humour in the rearview mirror. "Besides, I've been working for you for almost 10 years now, I-" "With." You couldn't stop yourself from interjecting. "You work for my father."
"Right." You could see James gulp, lit up as you drove under a street light. "Well, I think we're past the formal names now, don't you Princessa?" The way he emphasised his nickname had you gulping now, eyes falling to your lap, hoping James couldn't see the blush tinging your cheeks.
He could, but he decided choosing not to tease you for it like he usually would was better.
By the time James pulled up to your house, the alcohol had hit you even harder, instead of sobering up like you usually did. "James, how much did m' tab turn out t' be?" You slurred together the sentence as he opened the car door for you, your hands feeling around the floor of the car to find your shoes.
"I think it's best you don't know." James smirked as he lent down to grab the shoes for you, your hand having felt over them three times already.
"Shhiiit, Bucky." Your head rocked back as he helped you out of the car. He would never admit it, but his body felt light at the way you said his name. You, on the other hand, hadn't even noticed that you used Bucky and not James.
Once you were up and out of the car, door kicked closed with James' foot, he placed your arm over his shoulders and snaked his around your waist. Remembering to use his right arm this time
"Y'know what'd be really great?" James eyed you as your head turned to him, lolling back so your eyes met his. "Hmm, what?" He questioned back, free hand stroking an invisible beard as he thought.
"Relatives that don't hate us because of my father. Cool relatives that would let me," there was a pause as you lost your train of thought. "A cool aunty that would give me a key to her city apartment so I could stay over when I go out, so I don't have to come back to this hellhole." You shot daggers at the modern mansion James was basically carrying you towards.
James couldn't help but chuckle, at your drunk train of thoughts, at the giddy smile and twinkle in your eyes as you imagined.
"Well, they may not be a cool aunt, but I know someone with an apartment in the city." The two of you are almost at the front door, but James had to almost drag you the last bit now because you were too focused on wondering who he could be talking about.
"It's me, Einstein, I have an apartment in the city. I don't live here all the time y'know." He shook his head, another chuckle escaping him as you just stared at him for a moment. "Ohhhhhh," you slowly nodded your head. It felt like you had only done it for a second, but alcohol had a habit of making time feel quick when, in fact, it was really long.
"Where do you think I go when I'm not watching you? I do have a place of my own." Your eyes lowered from Bucky's. You hated to admit it, but you'd never really thought of his life outside of his time working with you.
"You've never thought about it, have you?" Bucky's voice lowered as he placed the key in the lock to the front door.
"I, no-" Your protest faded out, what could you even say? "It sounds bad."
"Not really, I'm here with you 90% of the time, anyway." He shrugged, pushing the door open softly. "Now shh, in case we wake up-" "Wake up whom?" Both yours and Bucky's eyes widen. Christian, your father, was standing in the doorway, still dressed from the ball, arms folded over his chest.
"Your mother and sister have been worried sick about you. And look at your dress, disgusting." He practically spat out the last bit, and you felt Bucky's hand tighten on your waist.
"She was with me, so she was safe." Bucky glowered at Christian, his body tense. Christian just shifted his glare to Bucky, choosing to ignore his words. "And as for you, you'd be wise to remember who you work for."
Before Bucky could respond, you push forward.
"I'm safer with Bucky than I've ever been with you or any of your other goons." You hissed at him, thankful you were able to put a complete sentence together without slurring.
"Oh, so you're on nickname terms now, how sweet." Christian rolled his eyes, reaching for your arm to yank you inside. "Now get inside, I can smell the alcohol from a mile away." You barely got to see the disgust on his face as you quite literally fell inside, Bucky catching you by your waist at the last second. Your father snatched you up, pulling you from Bucky's hold.
"That'll be all for tonight, James, you can go home to your apartment in the city." He had heard everything, and he wanted you both to know.
Your father was dragging you to your room by your forearm before you had a chance to say goodnight to Bucky. You looked over your shoulder at him miserably, your fathers butler cutting off your view of him shortly after, closing and locking the door.
"You are not going to enjoy breakfast tomorrow." Christian shoved you into your room as he spoke. "And don't even think about not showing. 7am, sharp." And with that, he slammed your door shut, leaving you alone with your slowly sobering thoughts.
17 notes · View notes
𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡 ; 𝗯𝘂𝗰𝗸𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘀
summary┃the amount of times you and bucky have seen each other masturbating is alarmingly high. might as well do it together.
pairing┃roommate!bucky x f!reader
word count┃2,920 words
warnings┃masturbation, mutual masturbation, use of toys [vibrator], lots of lube, dirty talk, general nakedness, bucky edging you, praise kink, slight authority kink, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, lots of teasing, slight mocking — 18+ ONLY//MINORS DNI
notes┃not to be vulgar but i want him to destroy my pussy 😃✌🏻
The first time it happened, you were mortified. Hiding your face in your hands as Bucky laughed from the other side of the kitchen counter. You wanted the Earth to open up and swallow you.
“The walls are paper thin and your vibrator isn’t exactly,” he smirked, “quiet.”
You felt your entire body flush, skin on fire from utter embarrassment as Bucky called you out on hearing you masturbate.
It’s not like he did much to hide it either though.
“At least I don’t moan every five seconds like you,” you hissed back playfully as Bucky’s face dropped.
“I always assumed you were asleep,” he mumbles, a slight blush creeping up his neck as you feel your confidence slowly growing back.
“And what do you think wakes me up?” You chide back as Bucky folds his arms over his chest.
His naked chest.
“Well we clearly have to come up with a system.” Bucky jokes before the conversation slowly drifts to topics other than masturbation.
The first time you had actually caught him, you felt your heart nearly drop out of your ass as you walked into Bucky’s room with your phone in your hand.
You were hoping to get his opinion on something.
Instead you were met with his hand wrapped around his cock.
“Bucky can you—oh my God!” You dropped your head, covering your eyes as your mouth fell agape.
“Hey babes, what’s up?” He was so nonchalant, as if his cock wasn’t out for you to see and the porn video still faintly playing on his phone screen.
“Buck—I-I,” you stuttered, walking backwards and slamming the door behind you.
“Where’ya goin’!” You finally let your hands drop from your eyes as you stare at the door in disbelief.
“Bucky your entire dick was out! What do you mean, where am I going?” You were shocked, your friendship effectively ruined as you hear shuffling before the door swings open.
At least he has boxers on.
“Tit for tat?” Bucky smirks, leaning against the doorframe as your face still shows your shock.
“Oh c’mon Sweets,” he flicks your nose gently, “now there’s nothing left to your imagination.” He winks, brushing past you and into the washroom where the shower was started and he would undoubtedly resume his activity.
You had to admit, while it was a massive shock, the image of Bucky’s cock was burned into your memory.
It didn’t help that Bucky was hot. It also didn’t help that you could hear him and could hear all the filthy things he would say during the occasional hook up he had.
Seeing his cock didn’t help the throbbing between your thighs either.
It was a hot summer night in an apartment that didn’t have air conditioning—your window open as the soft breeze cooled you for a second.
Horny and hot. Hot and horny and yet you were out of luck as vibrator died and you had forgotten to pick up batteries from the convenience store.
Your hands travelled down your panty clad body and you sighed when you finally applied pressure to your clit.
It was too hot for anything else, nipples hard as your duvet lay bunched at the end of the bed—legs spread open as you relaxed against your pillows.
He consumed your thoughts as you slipped your fingers under your panties and through your folds—there would be no teasing tonight.
A year and a half of living with him, a year and a half of watching him do push-ups on the living room floor, emerge from the shower in nothing but a towel, hear him grunt as he buried his cock inside of the girl he brought home from the bar.
A shiver went down your spine as you slipped your fingers inside of you, trying hard to reach that sweet spot.
Your mouth fell open and suddenly, you couldn’t stop Bucky’s name from leaving your lips as you squirmed under your own touch.
“Sweets, what is it?” A groggy, sleepy Bucky stood in your doorway as you gasped, shooting up into a sitting position as you tried to cover yourself.
“What the fuck?” You whisper yelled in shock, Bucky’s tired eyes going wide as he trained them to the floor as you grabbed your blanket.
“Well you were calling my name, but I can see why now,” he smirked, shamelessly adjusting his dick in his shorts.
You fell back against the bed with a frustrated groan, “I was so close.”
This wasn’t going to help your mood, frustrations growing from your failed and rejected orgasm.
“By all means, don’t let me stop you.” He smirks, spinning on his heels and walking back to his bedroom where you can hear the squeaks of his bed springs as he no doubt throws himself on the mattress.
You stare at your ceiling, heart still beating away in your chest, watching the fan blades spinning rapidly before you hear the distinct sound of Bucky’s low groan.
If he didn’t let you finish, you sure as hell weren’t about to let him.
You jumped out of bed, not bothering to put a shirt on because, well, not like he hasn’t already seen everything.
“Hey asshole!” You yelled, knocking your fist on his door, “if I don’t come, then you don’t either.”
Suddenly, he went quiet. Shuffling on the other side before the door opened to a naked Bucky.
You had to remind yourself to keep your eyes on his.
“What if we both come?” His question confuses you, eyebrows furrowed as you cock your head to the side.
“If we both come, then it’s a win-win, right?” He asks and you have no choice but to nod your head.
“Yeah, but—“ you don’t finish your sentence before Bucky’s tugging you into his room by your wrist, a small squeak leaving you before you’re both bouncing onto his bed.
“Just hear me out, Sweets.” He smiles, letting you get comfortable before you’re both on your backs looking at his rickety ceiling fan.
“What if we just both,” he clears his throat, “masturbate together?”
He doesn’t seem to confident, but the proposition leaves your breath hitching as you can see the way his cock twitches.
“That seems...fair,” you don’t sound so confident either, afraid of ruining the friendship.
But that seems to have gone to shit pretty quick.
You lick your lips, turning your head to face Bucky as he’s already looking at you.
“Yeah,” you nod your head, “okay.”
He smiles, reaching into his beside table, coming back with a bottle of lube and offering you some.
“If we’re doing this, we’re doing it right,” he scoffs, squeezing some into your palm before doing the same for him.
You take a moment to admire him, his flesh hand going to wrap around his cock as his metal prosthetic is barely touching your thigh.
The lube is cold, a soft gasp passing through your lips as you spread it over yourself.
It doesn’t take much to get your breathing ragged as Bucky rubs the head of his cock and moans almost directly in your ear.
“Bucky,” you whisper as he turns his head to you, “can you put your arm over me? It’s really hot.”
He smiles again, complying as he drapes the thick and heavy arm against your tummy. You moan at the coolness against your hot skin as your legs drop against his.
“Better?” He rasps, “much.” You reply.
Your breathing catches in your throat, moan replacing it when your fingers find your clit. You can hear Bucky’s ragged breaths as he lets out a curse.
“Fuck, Sweets why didn’t we start doin’ this sooner?” He groans, hearing the way he’s stroking his cock.
You hope it’s a rhetorical question because you’re far too focused on the bubbling feeling of your orgasm as you glance at the way his cock stands tall in his grasp.
“God, Bucky,” his name comes as a long, drawn out whimper.
“‘M gonna come,” you sigh, on the brink of your peak as Bucky’s mouth falls open.
“Go on Sweets, you deserve it,” his voice is low and hoarse as the heavy weight of his metal arm adds that bit of pressure to your lower tummy before the feeling finally snaps.
Your legs tighten around your own hand as you sink deeper into the bed, enjoying the strength of your orgasm before Bucky’s pants and grunts take your attention and you’re watching him paint his toned chest.
There’s nothing you can really say as you catch your breath, realizing just what’s happened.
But you’ve never been left more satisfied, turning to face Bucky who looks starstruck and in awe.
“This might be my best idea yet, Sweets,” he smirks, voice still hoarse from the late hour in the night as you roll your eyes playfully.
“I hate agree with you, Barnes, but yeah,” you’re still out of breath. “This was a damn good idea.”
You don’t spent the night, you don’t see any reason to. Slowly, crawling out of his bed and into the bathroom silently anxiously awaiting what he say in the morning.
Most importantly, if he would regret it.
That morning came, a mug of your favourite beverage in hand as Bucky stumbled out of the shower in nothing but his fucking towel.
“So last night was fun,” he smirked and leave it to Bucky Barnes and his God complex to fuel his ego.
“I think we should turn it into a regular thing,” he then adds, venturing into his bedroom but keeping the door open as he dropped his towel exposing his bare ass.
Not like you’ve never seen it.
“What, you wanna have a masturbation schedule?” You’re half joking as he pulls on a pair of boxers and turns around rolling his eyes at your comment playfully.
“No, not a schedule. But whenever we’re in the mood, we just...masturbate together,” he offers, coming into the kitchen to grab orange juice out of the fridge.
You have to think on his words, quickly trying to weigh out the pro’s and con’s but the only thing that comes to mind is how hard you came last night.
“Deal.” You finally say, outstretching your hand for him to shake.
“It’s a deal then, Sweets.”
Part of you thought that it would never happen again, that this was just another one of Bucky’s outrageous ideas, but it did.
It happened again, and again, and again until became such a normal part of your routine that neither of you batted an eye at it.
There were weeks where you were particularly insatiable, but Bucky never complained. There were also weeks were Bucky needed a little bit more attention and you were happy to help.
It turned into something so natural, something that fulfilled you that you stopped trying to find lame hookups and awkward dates.
You didn’t realize the time when your phone vibrated, a text from Bucky displayed on the screen.
The text would’ve caught you off guard months ago, but no you just fished for your vibrator before skipping into Bucky’s room and throwing yourself onto his bed.
“That was fast,” he chuckled as you shrugged your shoulders, “could say the same about you.” You winked playfully as he scoffed.
You shimmied your pants and underwear down, tossing your shirt over your head as Bucky just removed his covers to his already hardening cock.
That was something you’d never get used to. The only thing that was going through your head was his cock and the way it would feel inside of you.
“Hey, um, I was thinkin’ we could maybe try something new tonight?” Bucky squeaked, a departure from his usual cocky and confident nature.
You propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him, giving him a look that said go on.
“I was thinkin’ that maybe tonight,” he seemed nervous as he bit his lip. “That we could help each other out more.”
You were surprised at his words, your stomach flipping when you connected the dots to what it was that he wanted to try.
And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited.
“Yeah,” you nodded your head, “okay.”
He smiled, letting you lie back down against his pillow.
“Just relax for me, Sweets, I’ll take care of you tonight.” He whispered, words gentle and soft as you felt him spreading your legs.
“Do you think you can do what I tell you, Sweets?” There’s a sudden shift in his tone, voice low as his words rumble.
You nod your head, eyes closed in anticipation as you can feel yourself growing wetter.
“Okay, I want you to start slow, yeah? Use your fingers baby, get yourself nice and warmed up.” He cooes, watching as you let your fingers fall between your legs.
You run them through your folds, collecting your slick as you tease your clit with light touches while you feel Bucky’s hands massaging your thighs.
“Good girl, Sweets. Just like that, nice and slow—want you to hear just how wet you get.” You’d never heard this Bucky before, but it made your stomach flip in excitement as you played with yourself.
“Bet that feels good, doesn’t it?” He teases, his hands travelling up your tummy until they’re on your breast making you mewl under him.
“Uh uh, I didn’t say you could have your fingers yet, did I Sweets?” He stops your hand by your wrist, tugging it back up to your clit as you shudder at the sudden authority in his voice.
“I know you want them, but I think you’ll enjoy mine stuffing you just a little more,” he purrs, kissing your shoulder as his metal hand travels back down to where you’re circling your clit.
“Look at that, soaked already?” He taunts, coating his fingers with you before he’s teasing your entrance.
It’s getting harder to focus on your clit, wanting you fall back and enjoy the way Bucky’s cold, thick, and heavy fingers feel against you.
“Oh Sweets, I didn’t give you permission to stop playing with yourself.” He almost mocks, your chest falling and rising quickly as you let out a whine.
“Good girl, just like that. Nice and slow while I stretch you out.” His words hit you hard, fingers sinking into you as you let out an obscene moan.
He feels so much better than your own fingers—longer and thicker as they can reach that one spot you never could on your own.
“I can feel you squeezin’ me, but you can’t come just yet.” He whispers, slowly pumping them in and out of you—curling against you g-spot.
You’re biting your lip so hard you think you’ll have permanent indents from your teeth by the time the night is done.
“How do my fingers feel, Sweets?” He teases, “do you feel full? Absolutely stuffed?”
His words, the way his fingers are fucking you, and your own fingers are too much as you feel yourself getting closer and closer.
“Bucky, please. I-I wanna come,” you whimper, head lolling to the side as your toes curl into his mattress.
You open your eyes, mouth open as you see the way he’s got his one hand wrapped around his own cock—pumping himself while the other is knuckle deep inside of you.
It only makes your walls flutter around him, a silent plea to let you come.
“I know Sweets I know,” his fingers still inside of you, “but it’s gonna feel so much better this way.” You shiver when you realize what he’s doing.
He’s edging you—building it up just to let it dissipate until he does it all over again.
“Bucky,” you’re not past begging if it’ll get his fingers moving again.
He smirks, looking down at you before he’s moving his fingers again. It doesn’t take long for the feeling to build back up again until...
“Not just yet, Sweets.” You groan, whining as he stops your own hand against your clit so you’re left lying there with an aching core.
You try to move your hips upwards, but Bucky’s much stronger and keeps them planted against the bed.
“One more Sweets, just one more,” he promises, starting to move his fingers inside of you again.
“Go on, use your fingers, I’ll tell you when to stop.” You do what he says, rubbing your clit until you feel his hand around your wrist again.
“You’re doin’ so good,” he purrs, his own cock leaking pre-cum as he removes his flesh hand from your wrist to wrap it around himself.
Your skin feels like it’s on fire, right on the brink of your orgasm as he slowly starts to tease you with his fingers again.
“I know, Sweets, I can feel how badly you need to come,” he rasps, stroking his cock as he plunges his fingers deeper and deeper while your fingers are on your clit.
“Oh that’s it, come for me. Need you to come for me,” he groans as you let yourself go, feeling the scorching hot pleasure run through your body as Bucky moans—painting his chest with his cum.
Your body is still shuddering with aftershocks, limbs light as you find the strength to open your eyes and look at Bucky and his pink parted lips.
“That was fun,” you whisper, Bucky turning his head to face you with a sly smile.
“Maybe tomorrow we can try something else, I have a feeling my cock might feel better than my fingers.”
7K notes · View notes
Cake || Bucky Barnes
pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader
summary: you and your boyfriend bucky barnes head down to the wilson residence for a barbecue. sam’s nephews adore the both of you and as you watch bucky play with the kids you’re ready to tell your boyfriend that you’re pregnant
a/n: gif credit- @davidsfincher ; i will never get over this scene. reblogs and/or replies are super appreciated!!
word count: 2.7k
warnings: pure fluff based on episode six, mentions of pregnancy
masterlist || request || taglist
“I say we get the vanilla one.”
Standing besides you in the supermarket aisle with his arms crossed, your boyfriend turned to look at you with disgust written all over his face.
“Vanilla?” Bucky said, shaking his head. “Are you kidding, Y/n? All kids like chocolate.”
As he was speaking, Bucky reached out to pull one of the chocolate cakes off of the shelf it was sitting on, but you swat his hand away.
“Oh yea?” You asked. “And what makes you the expert on what kids like?”
Uncrossing his arms, he waved his hand in your face.
“Metal arm.” He said. “Also don’t pretend like Sam’s nephews didn't love me last time we were there.”
You couldn't argue with that. The last time the two of you had been to the Wilson residence in between missions, Sam’s nephews absolutely adored the super soldier. They couldn't get enough of the one hundred and six year-old man with the vibranium arm and the fun they had messing with him.
You had just as much joy watching the interactions between the three of them. You couldn’t help but entertain the idea of starting a family of your own with Bucky.
The two of you had been dating for years- not including the five year blip the two of you had been snapped from existence in- and had often discussed the idea of getting married and having children in the future. You didn’t think you would be ready yet, but as you watched children be in absolute awe of your boyfriend, you felt as though the pieces began to fell into place.
And funnily enough- they did.
You had been feeling sick and exhausted for the past few weeks, but you figured it was on account of the missions you had been going on with Sam and Bucky. When the symptoms continued while you stayed at the Wilson’s home for the weekend while Bucky helped Sam fix the boat- you had taken pregnancy test.
It was positive.
Although you knew that you and Bucky could handle it, you were still in absolute shock realizing that you were going to be starting a family- you were going to be responsible for more than just making sure you and your friends didn’t get killed fighting bad guys- you were going to be a parent.
The only person who knew was Sam’s sister, Sarah. She was the only one inside the house when you had taken the test and when she had heard you pacing around the bathroom, hyperventilating, she opened the unlocked door and immediately saw the pregnancy test in your hands. You had sworn her to secrecy, making sure she didn’t tell your boyfriend or her brother, promising her that you would tell them when the time was right... but with the mission in New York City coming immediately after your stay, you hadn't found the right opportunity to tell Bucky yet.
However, you told yourself that you finally would tonight... after attending the barbecue.
“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “I can’t argue with that. They did love you, but that doesn’t mean you know anything about cake.”
Reaching his hand out for the chocolate cake again he scoffed. “I’m not taking advice from someone who wants to bring a vanilla cake to a party-”
You swat his hand again. “We’re not getting the chocolate.”
“Yes,” He insisted, inching his face closer to yours. “We are.”
“No. We’re not.”
“Can I help you guys with anything?” You heard a worker ask from behind you.
Backing away from your boyfriend you smiled, shaking your head.
“No, we’re fine. Thank you.”
As you watched the worker nod before walking down the aisle, you turned back to your boyfriend.
“Okay fine.” You said. “We’ll compromise. Ice cream cake?”
You watched as Bucky’s eyes widened. “Wait! There’s ice cream cake?”
Twenty minutes later you and Bucky had arrived at the barbecue, your boyfriend taking the cake out of your hands as he stepped out of the car.
As you made your way around the front of the vehicle you watched as Sam’s nephews bombarded Bucky, play fighting with him as he faked attacking them back, making sure to dodge their fists from knocking over the cake in his hands.
You couldn’t deny the way the sight made your heart fill so much you swore it could’ve exploded right in your chest.
As you watched the scene unfold, hearing the laughter erupting from the children around him while he faked getting hurt, you heard Sarah come up behind you.
“You know,” She said, crossing her arms and standing beside you. “You almost scared me to death watching you on the news.”
Glancing at her beside you, you shrugged. “I was fine.” You said. “That wasn’t the first fight I’ve been in.”
“I just can’t believe they let you go.” She said.
“What? What do you mean?”
“What do I mean?” She laughed. “I can’t believe they would let you go do something so dangerous like that knowing you’re-”
Before she could finish her sentence you swat at her arm, rapidly shaking your head, checking around you to make sure no one was listening to your conversation or had heard what she had just said.
“I didn’t tell them yet.” You told her in a hushed voice.
“What?” She asked. “Why not?”
“I couldn’t tell them. If I did they would have never let me go- especially Bucky- but I couldn’t let them go in by themselves like that. You’ve seen the Flag Smashers, Sarah.”
“How long are you going to keep this a secret?” She asked.
“I was going to tell him today.” You told her. “We just needed to sort out the Flag Smashers before I could even think about telling him I’m pregnant-”
At the sound of Sam’s voice, you and his sister immediately spun around to be met with Sam standing behind you, only a foot away.
You watched as his mouth dropped and his eyes grew wide and you felt your heart began to race in your chest, knowing that you had just exposed your secret to Sam- you and Bucky’s shared best friend.
“Sam...” You said.
“I-” He stumbled over his words, trying to piece the information together. “You’re pregnant?”
“Yes, but you can’t tell Bucky.” You pleaded, gripping his bicep. “I haven’t told him yet.”
“What?” He exclaimed looking between you and his sister. “How long have you known? Why haven’t you told him yet?”
Playing with one of the rings on your fingers, made anxious by the conversation, you focused your gaze on the water behind him, not able to meet his eyes.
“I found out last time I was here.” You said. “So I found out like a week ago. You can't blame me though, Sam, if I told him he would of never let me go help you guys in New York.”
“Yeah!” Sam nodded. “Neither would I. You could of died!”
“But I didn’t!” You said. “Just don’t tell him okay, Sam? I’m going to tell him tonight.”
Before anymore could be said, you heard the sound of your name being called by Sam’s nephews and spun around to find them running in your direction.
“Hey guys!” You laughed, a smile reaching your face once again.
Watching them run towards you, you knew what they wanted before they even had to ask. Stretching out your arms, you moved your hands in the direction of each of the boys, using your powers to lift them a maximum of three feet above the ground- not wanting to upset their mother. You smiled as you watched the boys laugh about how “awesome” it was in awe as they looked down at the ground three feet below them.
You felt Sam’s hand land on your shoulder.
“I’m happy for you, Y/n.” You heard Sam say, leaning in closer so no one outside of your current group could hear him. “You both are going to be great parents. Just tell him soon, okay?”
He pat your shoulder one last time before walking past you and his nephews you were still currently floating midair.
“How come when I ask you guys if you want to fly you say no?” Sam asked.
“She’s using magic!” Cass exclaimed.
“Yeah, Uncle Sam.” AJ agreed. “That’s way cooler.”
Sam threw his hands up in the air, walking in the opposite direction and as he did you lowered the boys to the ground, much to their disappoint. When they scurried off in the direction of their uncle, your eyes met Bucky’s staring at you, smiling from across the way of where you had just been levitating Sam’s nephews.
“Look at you!” He said, smiling, reaching out his arms for you.
“Me?” You laughed. “You just had a whole choreographed fight scene with the boys. You’re like their cool uncle.”
You watched as your boyfriend pulled off his sunglasses and smiled at you, resting his vibranium hand on your waist.
“Only if you’re their cool aunt.”
You smiled. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Afterwards the two of you went to eat and spent the remainder of the meal sharing a table with Sam, his sister and his nephews. Despite the dangerous mission the three of you had been dealing with the past week, the table was full of laughter and joy that you were happy to welcome in.
Even when the cake that you had brought was sliced, you and Bucky smiled at each other from across the table when the boys scoffed down their slice of ice cream cake that contained both vanilla and chocolate- your compromise having worked in the end for the better. At times you even used your abilities to pull the fork out of your boyfriend’s hand just as he was about to bite down on a slice of cake, hearing the boy’s laugh as they watched the super soldier roll his eyes at you.
“Ha ha.” Bucky would say. “Very funny... what is that? Three times now? Really, Y/n?”
But he knew you would continue to do it as long as you continued to hear the sounds of awes coming out of the boys’ mouths and he couldn’t fault you for that. Instead sneaking you a smile when you brought the fork back into his grasp.
At the end of the evening when everyone had began to make their way home, the sun setting over the horizon, you helped tidy up with the Wilson siblings. When the tables were all wiped clean, you brushed your hands off on your bottoms, watching as Bucky sat on the edge of the dock, the golden hue of the sunset setting on his features.
Glancing over your shoulder as Sarah ushered her children back home, you saw Sam throw you a thumbs up. When your eyes met his you smiled, mouthing a “thank you” before he turned in the direction of his sister, following her path back home.
Sighing to yourself you turned back to your boyfriend.
You were going to tell him. You were going to finally tell him you were pregnant.
You took one last deep breath, taking in the last moment before Bucky and your’s life changed forever.
Making your way towards your boyfriend you kneeled behind him, your chest meeting his back as you wrapped your arms around his chest.
“Hi.” You whispered.
“Hi doll.” He hummed, moving his hands to hold yours that were resting against his chest.
“Had a nice day?” You asked, leaning in to press a gentle kiss against his cheek.
You felt as his chest rumbled when he chuckled, staring out over the water while the sun continued to set, its reflection turning the water gold.
“Yeah.” He said. “I wish it could be like that every day, you know?”
You knew what he meant. You understood that he was talking about the peace, the joy, the laughter- the normalcy. You understood that he was talking about how your lives were so hectic and always would be due to the hand you had been dealt with super human abilities. You could never have a normal life, but you also understood that it was more than just never having to fight or go on a mission again- it was the feeling of family, of caring and of love.
“I know it can’t be like that every day.” You said. “But would you... would you settle for most days?”
You felt his hands squeeze yours a bit more, tilting his head back to get a better look at you.
“What are you talking about?”
“Would you settle for most days, Buck?” You asked again. “Would it all be worth it even if you still had to fight?”
He answered in a heartbeat.
“Of course it would.” Bucky said. “I’d fight for one day of this.”
You unwrapped your arms from around his chest, moving to kneel besides him on the dock so he could face you. Knowing what you were about to say, you took in the moment, breathing in the fresh air and memorizing the way his face looked in the golden hour.
You watched as his face dropped and you were almost worried until a wide smile reached across his face.
“You’re pregnant?” He asked, so in disbelief he sounded as though the wind had been knocked right out of him.
You smiled, nodding your head and took his hand in yours. “I am. I found out a few days ago-”
“Wait.” He cut you off. “A few days ago? Did you know you were pregnant when we fought in New York City?”
Staring at his face now, confronting the issue, you were suddenly very interested in the frosting he had somehow gotten on the bottom of his shirt, tugging on the hem and scratching it off.
“Okay, yes. I knew.” You confessed.
Rather than the fed up, overprotective reaction you were expecting, you felt Bucky’s hands reach to cup your face, forcing you to look at him. Rather than anger in his eyes, all you saw was worry and you were wishing you had never gone and fought just so you could save yourself from seeing him like that.
“Promise me you won’t fight anymore.” He said. “At least until the baby’s here- God I can’t believe we’re having a baby- just promise me okay? If anything happened to either of you I wouldn’t know what to do with myself-”
“I promise, Buck.” You assured him, smiling and beginning to feel tears prickle in your eyes. “We’re gonna have a baby.”
You watched as he began to smile once again and the two of you couldn’t help but laugh- so consumed in complete and utter joy. You and Bucky had gone through so much- especially within the last few months- but as you both sat there, so happy you couldn’t help but laugh, you realized it was worth it and you would go through it all again if it meant that at the end of the day you two would come back to each other every single time.
For the first time in your life, you watched as tears of joy began to fill his eyes, almost as if they had begun to wash away the years of pain that he had suffered previously. Although he was sure he hadn’t fought his last fight... he was sure he was going to be okay. He was happy. He was going to share his life with you. He was going to be a dad.
“We’re gonna have a kid.” He repeated the words, almost as if to convince himself that they were true.
“You’re gonna be such a good dad, Buck.” You told him, laughing through the tears that had begun to fill your eyes. “If you’re half as good at being a dad as you are the ‘cool uncle’- our kid is in good hands.”
“You think so?” He asked.
“I know so, Buck.”
3K notes · View notes
pairing: dadsbestfriend!bucky barnes x reader
summary: you’ve always had a crush on your dad’s best friend, but it’s always been easy to hide. that is, until you accidentally send him pictures meant for someone else
word count: 2.5k
warnings: swearing, bra pictures, age gap, teasing, dirty talk, fingering, thigh riding, smut, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, praise kink, minors DNI
“Thank you, Mr. Barnes. I’ll see you in an hour” you said, stepping out of the car. You grabbed your purse from inside the car and slid your arm through the strap. “I’ll see you then. Text me if you’re done early, and I’ve told you to call me Bucky. Mr. Barnes makes me feel old” he told you, slightly chuckling. You smiled and nodded, before closing the car door. You waved as he drove away.
Bucky was your dad’s best friend. He was always coming over to your house for barbecues and all sorts of parties. Over the years, you had grown fond of Bucky, but he was significantly older than you. You were only twenty four, but that didn’t stop you from admiring him.
You were visiting your dad for the next two weeks. Your dad was going to drive you to the mall, but he got called into work. So, he asked Bucky to drive you. After thirty excruciating minutes in the car, you were finally at the mall.
You never knew how to act around Bucky. He made your heart beat at a million miles per minute and always ended up turning you on. The brunette man was gorgeous, which made it hard to control yourself around him.
You walked into the mall doors. Forty minutes later, you were almost finished. You had returned the shoes that you bought in the wrong size and found a dress to wear to a party you were going to in a few weeks. All that was left was to buy a new bra.
You headed into Victoria’s Secret and headed to the bras that were your size. You instantly found a few that you liked and walked towards the dressing rooms.
You set down the few pairs of bras and felt your photo buzz. You saw a new text from Bucky:
“I finished my errands early. I’m waiting in the parking lot, once you’re done :) ”
You felt your insides tingle and felt a new rush to finish up. You quickly typed out a response and hit send.
“Okay! I’ll be out in a few minutes. I’m almost done”
You moved on to the bras that were waiting for you. You tried all four of them on and couldn’t decide between your top two. You quickly snapped photos in each of the bras. One was a dark red bra with lace, and the other one was a black bra that had some sheer panels.
You quickly sent the pictures to your best friend and asked which one she liked more. You looked into the mirror and looked closer at the bra, still trying to decide. You heard your phone vibrate, and you quickly grabbed it. You were eager to see your best friend’s response. You assumed it would make the decision easier.
Instead, you saw a text from Bucky that read:
“Fuck, sweetheart. You look hot in both of them, but I’m assuming you didn’t mean to send that to me”
You felt your blood run cold. Just to be sure, you checked and realized you had sent him the pictures. You didn’t know what to do. You wanted to run away and hide forever.
First and foremost, you wanted to never see Bucky again. You knew you would die of embarrassment. There was no way you could survive a whole car ride home with him.
You quickly decided to buy both the bras and headed towards the parking lot. You kept your head low as you looked for Bucky's car. You spotted it, and he waved you over.
You got into the front seat without saying a word. You couldn’t even look at him. “Hi, sweetheart” he said, softly. You muttered a quick “hi” and then looked out the window.
Bucky accepted that you didn’t want to talk about it and put the car in drive. He started the drive to your dad’s house, where you were staying.
After about ten minutes of silence, the car pulled up to a red light. Bucky looked over at you and saw you still looking out the window. “Sweetheart? Look at me” he said, tapping your thigh. You hesitantly looked over at him. He gave you a soft smile.
“I really don’t want to talk about it” you begged him. He placed his hand back on your thigh, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb. You could feel your face heat up. “I know you’re embarrassed, but you don’t have to be. We can both pretend it never happened. You really don’t have to worry about it, love. By the way, those pictures were pretty amazing,” his soft genuine smile turned into a smirk.
You felt even more embarrassed. You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or if he was teasing you. You knew you had nothing else to lose. You grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him for a kiss. Before he could kiss you back, cars began to honk behind you.
You both pulled apart and realized the light was green. You were mortified. “I’m sorry” you muttered, wrapping your arms around yourself. Neither of you said another word to each other. You continued to drive. Bucky drove past the turn to get to your dad’s house.
“Bucky, you missed the turn” you said, finally willing yourself to look at him. Instead of turning around, he just smirked and kept his eyes on the road. “Relax, sweetheart. We’re making a pit stop” he said, moving his hand to rest on your thigh.
You could feel a fluttering feeling in your stomach as his hand inched up your leg. He was only inches from where you wanted him, and he stopped. You practically whined. “Patience, baby” he instructed.
You squirmed under his touch. You started to rub your thighs together, trying to get some friction. “You’re so needy, sweetheart” he said. His words practically made you moan.
He slipped his fingers into the waistband of your leggings. His fingers ran over your lace panties. “God, you’re soaked. Do you need me that bad?” He asked, not moving his fingers. You nodded while biting your lip. You started to grind down on his hand, trying to get the release he was denying you.
“Look at you, so desperate for my touch. The least I can do is help you out” he said, moving your panties to the side. He ran his fingers through your folds, collecting your wetness. Your hips bucked up and pushed against his hand.
He pushed two fingers into you at an agonizingly slow pace. He curled his fingers as he began to pump them in and out of you. “Does that feel good?” He asked you, quickening his pace. You bit down on your lip and eagerly shook your head.
“You don’t have to be quiet. Let me hear you” he commanded. His fingers hit your g-spot, causing you to call out his name. A cocky smirk grew on his face.
The car pulled up to a red light, and you could see a car creeping up next to you. “Look at me, sweetheart. No one gets to see this look on your face through the window. This is all for me. Only I get to watch how you squirm under my touch” he said, repeatedly hitting your g-spot. The light changed to green. He continued driving towards his house.
His thumb started to rub circles onto your clit. You threw your head back against the headrest. “Fuck—Bucky...faster please” you begged him, breathlessly. His fingers sped up, ramming into you as you clenched your thighs around his hand.
You could feel the coil in your abdomen begin to tighten. The pressure continued to build. “Bucky, I’m almost there” you moaned. Then, the pressure disappeared. You noticed he had completely removed his hand from you. You also realized you were in his driveway.
Bucky wiped his hand off on his jeans. “I was so close. My ex-boyfriend could never get me that close” you complained, the last part said more to yourself.
“That was nothing, sweetheart. I’m going to show you what it’s like with a real man” he whispered, before pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear.
He unlocked the car doors, and you both headed inside. He grabbed your hands and pulled you into his bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed, keeping your hands in his.
You felt your nerves hit you like a brick wall. You realized how much this could change your life. There was no going back after sleeping with your dad’s best friend.
He moved his hand to cup your face. “Sweetheart, before we do anything, I want to make sure that you’re really okay with this” he said, gently. You pressed a light kiss against his lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve wished for this to happen” you said, looking into his eyes.
That was all the permission he needed. He grabbed at your waist and pulled you into his lap. Your hands were instantly in his hair as you connected your lips. You started to roll your hips into his, chasing all the friction you could get.
He pushed you off his lap, and then pulled your leggings down your legs. You stepped out of them and stepped towards him. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you finish before. I wanted to be able to watch you fall apart” he said, kissing your temple.
Then, his eyes lit up. He patted his thigh. “Sit right here for me” he said, gently. You straddled his thigh. “Can I?” You asked, softly. He eagerly nodded his head and placed his hands on your hips. You rolled your hips forward, grinding against his thigh.
“Cum on my thigh, sweetheart. I wanna watch” he said, watching you. You rested your arms on his shoulders as you slid yourself back and forth on his thigh. The harsh material of his jeans only added more friction.
A soft whine passed your lips. “That’s it, baby. You’re doing so well” he said, placing light kisses along your jawline. His words only turned you on more. You could feel a warm feeling in your stomach as you got closer to your peak.
“Buck—almost...there” you moaned, breathlessly. The coil returned and continued to tighten. He began to bounce his leg up and down, creating more friction. “Oh...Bucky, fuck” you called out, moving your hips faster. You shut your eyes, overwhelmed with the pleasure. You were reduced to a whimpering mess. “Such a good job, princess. Let go for me” he said.
You fell over the edge; your vision going white. Your hips slowed down, and you leaned against Bucky’s shoulders. You panted as you came down from your high.
“You are so beautiful” he said, peppering kisses up and down your neck. You noticed his bulging cock against your leg. “I want to make you feel good too” you said, starting to unbuckle his belt.
He grabbed your wrists and stopped you. “You don’t have to do that. I just wanna be inside of you, sweetheart” he told you. You pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. He used his metal arm to flip you over. He was laying on top of you on the bed now.
“Stay” he said, as he stood up and took off his jeans. You watched him as he stepped out of his boxers, and his cock sprung free. You heard it slap against his stomach. You clenched your thighs together as he thought about having his large cock ramming into you.
He stroked himself a few times. You whimpered to yourself, and your hand found itself inside your panties. “Sweetheart” he said, catching you. You quickly removed your hands and looked back into his eyes.
“I can’t wait to fill you up and have your pretty pussy wrapped around me” he said, crawling on top of you. You cupped his face and pulled him up to kiss you. He moaned into your mouth as one of your hands stroked his length.
He pulled your panties down your legs and carelessly threw them aside. He teased you, lightly drawing figure eights on your clit. You quickly pulled off your T-shirt. He stopped what he was doing as he realized you were wearing the dark red bra.
“Fuck” he muttered under his breath. You noticed that his cock was throbbing. “Your tits look so fuckin’ good” he said, cupping your breasts through the bra.
You reached around your back to unclip the bra, but he stopped you. “Don’t” he practically growled. You smirked as you watched the effect you had on him.
“Keep it on. I want to fuck you while you wear it” he said, not moving his eyes from the lacy material. Then, without warning, he pushed into you.
He watched as your face contorted in pleasure. “You’re so fucking big” you moaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding on as he thrusted into you. He smirked down at you. He wrapped your legs around his waist. “You’re taking me so well, sweetheart” he moaned in your ear. You grabbed on to his shoulders, leaving little crescent indents. You moaned as he continued to stretch you out.
“Bet your ex never made you feel this good” he said, hitting your g-spot. Your walls clenched around him. Your eyes rolled back, and you threw your head back against the pillow. “I’m getting close, sweetheart. You’re so tight” he moaned.
You pulled him into a kiss. “Need you to—faster” you begged him. He listened, speeding up his pace and bringing his thumb down to rub circles on your clit.
You could feel the coil tightening in your stomach. “Close” you mumbled. He moaned out your name as he quickened his pace. “You gonna cum with me?” He asked you, and you quickly nodded your head. It was like he was in overdrive. He was ramming into you. The sound of your skin slapping together and the squeaking of the mattress filled the room. He kept going faster, chasing his high.
“Sweetheart” he moaned, and then you could feel him cum inside of you. It was enough to send you over the edge, and your orgasm hit you. “Oh shit” he moaned, as your walls tightened around him.
You could feel yourself pulsing. You both laid like that for a while, neither of you moving. You both tried to catch your breath.
Eventually, he pulled out of you and then cleaned you both up. Bucky crawled back into bed with you and began placing kisses up and down your chest. “Can you call your dad and say you’re staying over a friend’s house?” He asked, lightly kissing your lips.
You nodded your head. “God, you’re so beautiful” he said, pulling you in for another kiss.
“Bucky, that was amazing. That was the best sex I’ve ever had. No man is ever going to measure up to that” you whispered. He smirked to himself, proud of his work. “Well I guess it’s good that this wasn’t a one-time thing” he said, running his fingers up your arm.
You had a fluttering feeling in your stomach as you listened to what he said. “It wasn’t?” You asked him, raising your eyebrows.
“Hell no, sweetheart” he said, before pulling you in for round two.
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hi lovely! your writing is amazing. too good!!! thank you for sharing it. i was wondering if you could do a bucky fic where he starts getting more comfortable doing pda with his girl in front of the team, and they notice how soft and sappy he is now he’s dating her, and inevitably (but lovingly) tease him for it. only do this if it inspires u though! hope you’re staying safe and healthy x
These Hands Are Meant to Hold
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Please do not repost/translate anywhere. Reblogs & Comments are much welcomed ♥
Note: I was super inspired to be fluffy as fuck. This is just a wholesome drabble. Thank you so much for sending this in, lovely! Making a comeback and so, a temporary taglist is open for the next 5 fics. Comment to be added to a bucky, steve, or both taglist!
Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff. Also unbeta'd.
Otherwise known as Public Displays of Affection (1): Acts of intimacy in front of others.
What is considered to be acceptable varies from culture to culture.
Your friends seem to like engaging in such activities, often cuddling or quick kisses.
But Bucky is not an openly affectionate person.
In public, even handholding for no reason doesn't ever occur. In private, he's overly gentle, like he's afraid he might accidentally break you.
Although it's been a couple of months since you've been dating, you can say nothing physically has quite changed between the two of you.
But...those things don't bother you.
Because in private, Bucky can't keep his hands off you. At first, he was cautious, making sure to only touch you with his regular arm. He tried to say that he liked touching you with his regular arm because he could feel you on the pads of his finger.
You didn't care much for that, though. You always made sure to give his metal arm equal amounts of attention. Just as Bucky liked stroking your arms, playing with strands of your hair, and kissing your neck—you'd be holding his regular hand while your other hand trails up his metal one.
Telling him you liked it when his metal arm held you at night because it kept you cool helped.
Bucky just thinks you're so...strange but so lovely. How could you look at him with such adoration in your eyes? He hopes you can see the same look in his eyes when he stares at you.
It was slow at first, but Bucky's whole body is starting to itch for the need to touch you in any kind of way in public too. It started one day when he watched Steve so openly hug you and pinched your cheeks, and you swatting his hands away with a frown before grinning.
And Bucky realized that he was jealous. Not of the prospect or suspicion of Steve—no, Bucky knows the two of you would never do that to him. But he was jealous of Steve in the way the other man could so easily be affectionate with you.
Bucky spent the rest of his day wondering why he was so...afraid of touching you in public. After that, it started small. Just the caress upon your hand with his picky, metal one or not. You had brushed it off as the two of you standing too close.
Then, it was interlacing his pinky with yours, hiding it behind his back as he sandwiched himself against you. You looked at him curiously, a low heat in your cheeks, but you smiled, and Bucky felt like he was doing something amazing—something right for once.
There had always been a certain kind of distance in public, but it seemed Bucky was intent on closing it.
"Hi, doll," Bucky greets you with a chaste kiss to your cheek.
"Hi," you replied shyly with a bright smile.
"Alright, get a room you two!" Clint jokingly moans while rolling his eyes.
Natasha gasps scandalously while she was holding Nathaniel. Steve lifted his hand to cover Nathaniel's eyes.
"Bucky!" Steve mock scolds. "So inappropriate, think of the children!"
Bucky rolls his eyes while he slings his arm around you, pulling you close to slot his lips against yours in rebellion.
"Oh, god, he's out of control," Natasha smirks. "Steve, do something!"
"Sweetheart, think about your propriety!" Steve looks at you, and you burst out laughing.
Bucky throws a crumpled piece of paper at Steve. "Stop calling my girlfriend sweetheart," he drawls.
Steve sighs. "You've turned into a possessive sap. Long gone are the days of Mr. Heartbreaker and now you're doll dizzy."
Bucky tuts while he waggles his fingers. "Incorrect. I am doll dizzy about one girl."
Your face is set aflame as you listened to Bucky speak about you. Ignoring the teasing, you rest your head against Bucky's shoulder, warming because he holds you a little tighter.
When the day is over, and you lie next to Bucky, his metal arm over you, keeping you cool, you turn to face him. He's still awake, sleepily, but awake.
"Hi," he husks.
"Hi," you smile.
"What's on your mind, doll?" Bucky's eyes are closed, but his metal arm is stroking light lines on your bare back, drifting to your spine.
You shiver as you shift closer to him.
"Just thinking how...different you are," you tell him.
Bucky's eyes flutter open as he zeroes in on you. "Different?" He asks.
Your hand moves across the small distance between you two as it lands on his neck. You can feel his pulse in his neck, and you like how steady it is. For all Bucky's insecurities and sadness, his pulse is always steady.
"Well," you start to say, throat raspy as you're suddenly overcome with how in love you are with Bucky. "Just—I never thought you'd be the type of person to do PDA. Not that I mind either way," you say quickly. "I never want to make you uncomfortable."
Bucky just smiles as he rests his hand on the small of your back and pulls you closer to him—until he can feel your body line up perfectly against his. He begins to entangle your legs together with his, and there's no escape for you.
You bite your tongue because Bucky smiling. Him grinning so genuinely makes your heart thud painfully in your chest. He deserves so much more of those smiles.
"I admit it wasn't something I was...comfortable with at first," Bucky concedes while you look up at him. "I just...this arm," Bucky emphasizes by moving his metal hand against your back. "It's just a visual reminder of what I'd done—what I'd become. I'm not a regular soldier from the 40s anymore where my only concerns were my job and making sure Steve didn't get into any scraps he couldn't handle."
You listen quietly because Bucky seems to be just talking, not really looking for you to reassure him that you love him and his metal arm doesn't define him.
"And in public, it feels like everyone is watching me. Tony is still glaring at me, glaring at my arm and I don't blame him. Steve sometimes stares because he feels guilty, and Natasha pointedly looks at my face—which is nice of her," Bucky licked his lips. His eyes were open, staring pointedly over your head as he held you. Then, he looked down, eyes half-lidden as he gazed at you.
"So, I...felt bad if I touched you in public, where everyone could see. It was like a giant neon board would appear that said, 'Look! The Winter Soldier is touching and kissing someone! Will he crush her?'" Bucky grimaced, and you frowned, moving your fingers to touch the corner of his lips. Bucky smiles as he moves his head to kiss your fingers.
"Bucky..." you say softly, tightening your legs around his.
Bucky just kisses your forehead to soothe you before he continued on.
"But then I just kept seeing everyone with you. Everyone is so open with you. I'm pretty sure many people actually think Natasha is your lesbian lover," Bucky's smile causes you to laugh. "I mean I wanted to touch you, be near you in any way always, but then after, I couldn't stop thinking about how I wanted to be the one who holds your hand, touches you, and kisses your cheek in public. If only I wasn't so hesitant. I know it probably took a long time to get where we are, but I love you for being so patient."
You wonder if it's possible to burst from happiness. You wonder how it's possible for the colony of butterflies to have lived in your stomach this long.
Bucky lifts his metal hand, opening and closing it, almost marvelling at how he can look at it so easily now.
You grab his hand, feeling the cool metal against your fingertips.
"These hands are meant to hold, Bucky," you smile as you lace your fingers together.
Bucky quirks his brow with a smirk before he rolls over you, nose to nose.
"Incorrect," he licks his lips, the tip of his tongue just barely grazing your lips. "These hands are meant to hold you."
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Grateful For You
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Author's Note: So, y'all know how Lee gets a handjob in the police cruiser from The Devil All the Time? I got inspired by the gif of that and wrote this! I hope you enjoy it and I hope it's not too shitty 👉🏼👈🏼😅
"Bucky?" You call out to your roommate, tossing your keys into the ceramic bowl by the front door. You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you furrow your brows at the silence.
You set the take-out bag onto the kitchen table before slipping your shoes off. Where the hell is he? You think to yourself while beginning to walk down the hallway. You can hear Bucky let out a string of moans as you grow closer to his bedroom door, causing you to halt in your tracks.
Your cheeks flush as you quietly walk closer, seeing his door cracked open. Seeing Bucky laying on his bed, his flesh hand wrapped around his cock makes your breath hitch. "Fuck, Y/N," he moans and you blush even harder.
You look away from the scene in front of you, pressing your thighs together as you get turned on. You stumble back a bit, almost tripping over your footing as you walk back towards the kitchen.
"Bucky! I've got take-out," you call out, acting as if you didn't see him jerking off.
"Be out in a minute, doll!"
You can't stop thinking about how hot Bucky sounded when he moaned out your name. You're grabbing the containers from the paper bag when a pair of hands rest on your hips.
"Smells good in here," Bucky mumbles into your ear and your eyes flutter closed, a shiver running down your spine. "You okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," you stutter and glance over your shoulder, your eyes meeting his blue ones.
You notice his eyes look down at your lips a few times and your heart pounds against your chest. "You're gorgeous," Bucky whispers, moving one of his hands to your face.
"You think so?" You whisper back, leaning into your roommate's touch. He smiles before nodding his head, Bucky's thumb stroking your cheek.
Bucky leans in and his nose brushes against yours. "Absolutely, doll," he mumbles against your lips, your hands moving to his chest.
The super soldier's eyes search yours as your fingers grip the shirt he's wearing, your breathing becoming a bit heavy. Bucky closes the distance between the two of you, his lips connecting with yours.
Bucky's hands move to the back of your thighs, lifting you up before placing you onto the counter. A gasp leaves your lips as his metal hand dips under your shirt, fingers gliding along your skin.
Your eyes roll into the back of your head as Bucky trails his lips down your neck. "God, Buck," you moan out and the brunette lets out a growl before biting down on your neck.
"You sound so fucking good moaning my name," Bucky groans and sloppily kisses your lips again.
You shift closer to the edge of the counter, your hands gliding down his torso. "I-I-" you cut yourself off, swallowing thickly. Your eyes cast down to the slight bulge in his sweats. You clear your throat and glance up at him through your lashes, seeing his eyes already on you. "I like the way you moan my name too."
Bucky's eyes widen at your words, your hand palming him through his sweats. "You…," his voice dies down at the feeling of your hand on him. "You heard me?" He hisses when you slip your hand into his pants.
"Mhm," you hum, wrapping your hand around his cock, stroking slowly. "I couldn't believe my ears when I heard my name leave your pretty lips."
You watch his blue eyes flutter shut and Bucky rests his forehead against your shoulder. "Faster, please," he groans and a shy giggle leaves your lips, quickening your strokes. "Fuck, Y/N."
You bite your lip gently while Bucky moves his hands up your sides, pushing your shirt up with them. You halt your movements before pulling your shirt off, tossing it onto the floor beside you.
"God, you're fucking perfect," Your roommate mutters and dips his head down to your chest, nipping at the flushed skin.
Bucky pushes his sweats down and brings your hand back to his cock. You wet your lips and start jerking him off again, hearing Bucky's moans vibrate off of your chest. "Take me to your room," you whisper, lifting his chin so he's looking at you.
The man quickly pulls his sweats up before throwing you over his shoulder, a short yelp escaping your lips followed by giggles. Bucky carries you to his room before throwing you onto the bed.
Your breath hitches in your throat when Bucky hovers above you, his large resting on both sides of your head. "Did you like that? Like the feeling of being in control?" He mutters against your lips, bringing your bottom between his teeth.
A moan escapes your lips and your eyes flutter shut, your fingers digging into his right arm. "Y-Yes," you breathe out and Bucky hums before dragging his lips along your jawline.
"Well, bask in it because it won't happen again," Bucky mumbles while biting down on your neck, causing another moan to arise. "I'm in charge, sweetheart."
"Please," you beg, your hand gliding up his arm. Bucky pulls away from you, his blue eyes looking into yours.
He brings a hand to your face, feeling his thumb graze your cheekbone and you shiver at the coolness of the metal. "Are you sure? It's not just the heat of the moment is it?" Bucky asks before pressing a light kiss to your lips.
"I want this, Buck," you whisper loud enough for him to hear. "So fucking badly."
"You think I can take you out for dinner after this?" Bucky laughs while nibbling on the skin of your neck.
You let out a laugh as well, feeling Bucky's hand trail down your leg. "Well, that's kind of ass-backward innit?" You question him with a teasing grin.
"Not my fault someone peeked in on me masturbating," he jokes and you roll your eyes playfully before smacking him lightly.
"Fuck you," you giggle and Bucky nuzzles his head in your neck, pressing gentle kisses to your skin.
He hums in response, his hands sliding up your legs. "Mm, I'm about to," he mumbles into your neck.
A whine comes from you as the man kisses down your neck to your collarbone, biting down every once in a while. Bucky's lips trail down the valley of your breasts, one of his hands cupping them, squeezing the flesh gently.
"Please, Bucky," you breathe out as you become impatient. His blue eyes look up at you while gliding his tongue around your hardened nipple.
Your heart skips a beat in your chest while your pussy clenches, needing to feel some sort of relief down there. "Easy, sweetheart. Wanna take my time with you," he mumbles against your skin, shifting his head to your other breast.
His vibranium hand slides up your inner thigh before his fingers slip into the shorts you're wearing. Your breath hitches in your throat when he brushes your clothed clit, your hips jutting upward. "F-Fuck, I-I need you to touch me," you beg, moving your arms a bit so you're leaning on them.
Bucky hums in response and bites down on your nipple, earning a sharp gasp from you. "You sound so sexy when you beg, doll," he grins before wetting his lips. "Gonna be a good girl for me?"
You nod while watching your roommate bring his hands to your shorts, seeing him fiddle with the button before pulling the denim down your legs.
The blue-eyed beauty kisses the insides of your thighs while looking up at you, your heart hammering in your chest. Bucky moves your panties to the side before licking up your glistening slit, a guttural moan escaping his lips.
"Fuck, doll. You're so sweet," he mumbles into your pussy, his forearms curling around your thighs.
You tilt your head back and moan profusely, bringing one of your hands to his head. "B-Buck!" You gasp as he tongues your clit, your fingers gripping his hair.
The vibrations from his lips cause your back to arch as quiet whimpers escape you. You grow closer and closer to cumming as two of Bucky's fingers slip inside of you. "Gonna cum for me, love?" He mumbles against your clit, his eyes looking up at you through your lashes.
"Y-Yes! Please, Bucky!" You moan out while gripping the sheets.
His fingers rapidly pump into you as his lips suck on your clit. "Cum on my fingers, doll," Bucky tells you and brushes the tips of his fingers against your g-spot.
Your toes curl as you cum on his fingers, breathy moans leaving your lips, Bucky continuing to finger fuck you through your orgasm. You grip Bucky’s wrist, pulling his fingers out of you so you can breathe.
"You're breathtaking when you cum," he whispers against your thigh, giggles leaving his lips.
You playfully roll your eyes as your chest heaves rapidly, slowly coming down from your high. "I have never cum so hard in my life," you confess and feel your cheeks heat up.
Bucky hums and presses a gentle kiss against your pussy, a short groan escaping you. "I'm glad. You'll be doing it more often too."
Bucky rolls off of you, both of you breathing heavily. "Holy shit," he laughs and turns his head to face you. His heart flutters in his chest at the sight of you and Bucky reaches his hand out, turning your face towards him.
A blush covers your cheeks when your eyes meet his ocean blue orbs. "What?" You chuckle nervously, shifting so you're laying on your side.
"I love you," Bucky breathes and leans in to kiss you. A groan escapes your throat, his tongue slipping past your lips and starts battling with yours.
"Mm, Buck," you push on his chest and break the kiss. The brunette rests his forehead against yours, his nose nudging yours slightly. "I love you, too."
You hook one of your legs over his waist and cuddle yourself into him. "I wanna take you out tomorrow," he mumbles against your forehead, his lips pressing soft kisses to your skin. "If you allow me to."
A light chuckle leaves your lips as you pull away from him slightly, looking up at him through your lashes. "Bucky, we just had sex and confessed our love to each other… of course I'm going to let you take me out," you tell him with a grin, your fingers trailing across his pecks. "Silly man."
"Listen here," Bucky chuckles and moves to kiss your bare shoulder. "I'm a little insecure, alright?"
"I know, but, you're fucking perfect, Buck," you mention while running your fingers through his hair. "So perfect."
The super soldier feels his cheeks heat up at your words. "What did I do to deserve you?" He whispers, feeling his fingers stroke your hips. "I'm so grateful for you."
Your heart flutters in your chest and you kiss the man's forehead. "You deserve the world, my love."
Taglist: @jessalyn-jpeg @metalbuckaroo @queen-of-mischief @bumblebet-20 @thewxntersoldier
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“you are free.”
he was fighting so hard to stay in control and then you can see how relieved he is to hear the trigger words and not turn into the winter soldier.
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Voicemails to an Unmanned Inbox
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Summary: When Bucky takes an argument a little too far, you take off. All he wants is for you to come back home.
Word count: 3.3k
Warnings: Heavy Angst
a/n: I’m currently working on Flashing Lights part 2 and felt like I needed some angst in my life. So, enjoy the angst!!
The walk back to your shared room was excruciatingly quiet, the sound of Bucky’s angry footsteps the only thing reverberating against the halls of the compound. You jogged a little faster to keep up with him.
“Bucky,” you tried, breath labored from your pace. “Bucky, just wait a sec. We can talk about this,” he ignored you, jaw set and mouth fixed into a frown. You let out a sigh and continued behind him, not looking forward to the discussion to come.
You had just finished Bucky’s latest therapy session, the office across the compound. This week, his therapist had asked you to attend the session since you were such a major part of his life. Bucky had been hesitant to agree, but given that it was court mandated therapy, he didn’t have much of a choice.
Your boyfriend’s current mood was brought on by your participation in said session. You hadn’t given up sensitive information or anything. His therapist just asked if Bucky had been waking up in the middle of the night and you said yes. That response had snowballed and Bucky was now set up with a sleep therapy appointment next Wednesday.
You could tell immediately that he was upset about it. His hands balled up into fists atop his knees and his eyebrows shot up in silent disagreement. To be fair, he hadn’t told you beforehand if there was anything he wanted you to keep private. You didn’t think you would’ve been able to keep it a secret if he asked though; his nightmares were worse than ever before and he refused to get help for them.
Bucky threw open the door to your room, stalking in and promptly taking a seat on the bed. You sheepishly followed in behind him, clicking the door shut. The air in the room was tense and awkward, like a pressing fog that forced you into silence. You fiddled with your hands as Bucky’s eyes made patterns in the ceiling. After waiting a beat, you tried to dispel the tension.
“I know you’re angry,” you began, “But I think this is a good thing, Buck. You’ve been having such a hard time sleeping, you’re basically running on fumes. You can try the therapy and if it doesn’t work, no harm done,” he shifted his eyes down to you.
“No harm done, huh?” He sardonically replied. His tone confused you.
“I mean, I think so? I know you don’t like therapy, but if they can somehow help you sleep, even just a little, then I think it’ll be worth it,” you tried to keep your tone optimistic, like a juxtaposition to his.
He spent a while staring at you before he spoke, a near permanent crease in his brow. “How am I supposed to trust you?” His words sent you physically stepping back, confusion and hurt marring your face.
“What?” Your voice was a somber whisper.
“How am I supposed to trust you? You told her something private; something between us. And you—you treated me like a charity case,” he shot back.
“Charity case?” You questioned, bewildered. “Bucky, she’s your therapist. She wants to help you, but she can’t do that if you never share anything with her. And I didn’t even want to tell her! It’s just that your nightmares were getting so bad, Buck. When you kept coming back from field missions all torn up because you were running on no sleep, I got scared.
“You kept getting hurt, and nothing was helping. I want you safe! I didn’t give her any specific details, just that you were having trouble sleeping and it was affecting you in the field.”
“Oh, trust me, sweetheart. I know exactly what you said. Was sitting right there getting a front row seat to your pity parade,” his hands ran through his hair, frustratingly tugging at the strands.
“It wasn’t like that, Bucky! I don’t pity you, I love you! I just want you safe and happy and healthy. If you would just listen—”
“I did listen!” he cut you off, yelling now. “And all I heard was my girlfriend treating me like a child. Now every time you open your mouth, all I hear is that sympathy in your voice.
“I’m a grown man, y/n. I’m perfectly capable of making my own damn decisions. So I think I’ll make the decision and ask you to get out,” you jerked your head back, the hurt on your face increasing tenfold. Your fingers felt numb as you dropped your hands to your sides.
“If that’s what you really want.”
“It is. Door’s over there,” his tone was final. You backed up slowly, trying to give him time to change his mind. He had never yelled at you like that before, and he certainly had never asked you to leave. Tears built up in your eyes as you made it to the door.
“I’m, um, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I only wanted to help,” you didn’t wait for his response as you beelined it out of the room, desperate to hide your tears.
You didn’t know where you were going, but you knew you had to get out of the compound. The anger in Bucky’s voice was still sending shockwaves through your spine, and tears were still making heavy tracks down your face at the thought of him not trusting you. You had worked so hard to earn his trust when he first came to the compound, and now it seemed like that was all lost.
The engine of your car roared to life in the garage, the photostrip of you and Bucky sitting in front of the speedometer mocking you. You let a few more tears slip before you clicked your seat belt into place and peeled out of the compound. His words played through your head as you decided on making the trek to the city. It would take about 3 hours to get there, but it's not like you had anywhere else to go. In your flurry to leave, you didn’t notice you left your phone sitting on the therapist’s desk.
Once he’d cooled off, Bucky immediately regretted his words. He knew you meant well, he just hated when people felt sorry for him; it made him feel weak and incapable. Sleep therapy had been brought up multiple times in Bucky’s sessions, but he always turned it down due to the element of control. You gave him the push he needed to get it started and look where that got you. Alone and upset.
When he thought back to your argument, licks of vexation still found their way through his chest, but not nearly enough to warrant his reaction. His pride wouldn’t let him forgive you, but he knew he still trusted you. He trusted you more than anyone else in the world, maybe even more than Steve.
He guessed that you would take the hit the hardest if he brought up trust, and he had wanted you to feel embarrassed like he did in that office. But when he saw that look on your face and watched as you flinched back from him as if he struck you, he never wished to take something back more. His pride kept him going though; kept him from reaching out and holding you and letting you know that he loved you and everything was okay.
Bucky blew out a breath and flopped down onto the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes. He’d let the situation settle a bit before going to get you. You were probably in Nat’s room or off telling Steve how stupid he was acting. He definitely deserved it. Everything you did was for Bucky’s benefit, and he just acted like you betrayed him.
He started to get a bit antsy at the 2 hour mark, and made his way out to the common room. His stomach dropped when just about everyone in the compound was sitting there, watching a movie. Everyone except for you.
“Hey, robocop. Where’s your lady? Been trying to call her for a half an hour. We’re watching her favorite,” Tony gestured to the screen.
“She hasn't been with any of you?” Bucky pathetically asked. Steve perked up from his corner of the couch.
“What do you mean, Buck. Thought she was going to your session today?”
“She did. I kinda—” Bucky paused, scratching the back of his neck in a defeated manner. “I kinda yelled at her. Was hoping she came to one of you guys after.”
“You yelled at her?” Natasha sounded angry.
“Yeah, I know. Didn't mean to make her so upset. Look, can you lecture me later? I just wanna find my girl. Any of you seen her?” The shake of their heads was he all needed to move on. He went to the kitchen, the library, even the gym which he was pretty sure you’d never even stepped foot in on your own. The last place—the one he was dreading the most—was the garage.
If your car wasn’t there, he would have absolutely no idea where you were. Bucky’s palms started to sweat as the elevator took him down to the bottom level. He wiped them on his jeans and grabbed his phone from his pocket, pressing your contact just in case. Dread washed through him when he saw your usual parking spot completely barren.
You weren’t an Avenger, you were just on the medical team. Your car had no tracking devices on it, and Bucky was positive that you weren’t paying attention the day he dragged you to the gym to teach you self-defense. It was already 9pm on a Friday, and you definitely shouldn’t of been driving with how upset you were.
He frantically held his phone up to his ear. Where could you have gone for 2 hours? The compound was pretty deep in upstate New York, the closest grocery store nearly 45 minutes away. The phone rang 5 times before he got your voicemail.
“Hey, y/n,” he nervously said into the receiver, “I know you’re upset. I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I wanna talk to you so just—just please call me back. Or call anyone back, doesn’t have to be me.”
Back on the main floor, Bucky pressed everyone to call you, hoping that you’d pick up a number that wasn’t his. You didn’t answer a single one, and he was starting to panic. He sat beside Steve in the kitchen, passing his phone between his hands.
“You don't think—I mean you don’t think she’d leave me, do you, Stevie? I know I messed up, but she wouldn’t just leave like that, right?” Bucky kept his voice low. Steve passed him a sympathetic smile.
“She loves you, Buck. I don’t think she would leave you. Just give her some time to come around, I’m sure she’ll call you back.”
Bucky didn’t want to give you anymore time. It was reaching the three hour mark since you’d left, and worry was coursing through him. He made his way into your bedroom and picked up his phone once again, less surprised this time when it went to voicemail.
“Hey, sweetheart, it’s Bucky again. I know we're probably blowin’ up your phone wherever you are, but please. Call me back. I’m so sorry, I take back everything I said. I’m just worried about you, baby. I won’t make you come back to the compound, I swear.”
He gave it about 5 minutes of staring blankly at his phone before he called again. And again. And again. Each voicemail he left was more desperate than the last, fear building in his chest with each one.
“I know callin’ you again probably won’t do anything, but it's worth a shot, right? If you answer, I promise I won’t say anything. You can scream at me for however long you want and I’ll sit here and take it. Come on, sweetheart, you gonna pass up on a deal like that?”
“Just give me anything to let me know you’re safe. Send me a text? Or whatever those things are called. I know I said not to text because I don’t understand it, but I’ll take anything you’ll give me. Please, baby, you got me beggin’ over here.”
“Stevie said I should give you some space, and I’m more than willing. Just—I just need to know you’re safe. You can stay as far away from me as you want, sweetheart, but please at least call Nat. Tell her you’re okay. She hates me, so you can guarantee she won’t tell me where you are.”
“Shit, it’s raining. Call me back.”
“Is this you leaving me? Please, don’t do this. I love you. I’d do anything to take back what I said, just please don’t do this.”
Eventually, the phone stopped ringing, each call from Bucky immediately met by the answering machine. He found himself missing the shrill, monotone beeps; they meant there was a chance you would pick up.
“Did your phone just die? God, I hope not. I got Tony tryna track your phone, but no luck. You pull the tracker out or somethin’?”
“You’re tearin’ my heart out, sweetheart, I’m freaking out without you here. I know I messed up, but I need you. I need you to tell me when I’m wrong and when I’m bein’ stupid like how I was today. I need you to hold my hand and force me to take those meditation classes for my heart health or whatever you said it was for. I need—” he took a breath, tears falling down his face for the first time that night. “I need you here, loving me. Because that’s the only time I feel like Bucky. The only time I feel like me. Please, baby, let me—”
“The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time, goodbye,” the call ended abruptly. Bucky called back, one last time, but was met with the same message.
He stared down at his phone and contemplated chucking it at the wall. Was this really it? Had he screwed up so badly that you didn’t want him anymore? Or worse, were you hurt somewhere? Unable to pick up the phone because Bucky had forced you out of the safety of your bedroom.
Bucky was pulled from his thoughts by a vibration in his hands. Looking down, he almost didn’t believe his phone is ringing, somehow drawn to the conclusion that the stupid thing didn’t work at this point. But the screen clearly read some number he’s never seen before, and the vibrations were strong in his hand. Expecting the worst, he lifted it to his ear.
“Bucky?” your voice called, screaming over the rain. He immediately sat up and wiped the tears from his face, his full attention granted to you.
“Y/n? Sweetheart, where are you? Are you okay? I’ll come get you, where are you?” He was frantic, racing around the room to find his shoes and grab the blanket on the bed to wrap you in when he found you. He could hear your teeth clattering through the phone.
“Bucky, I can barely hear you! I’m at some call box in the middle of nowhere, I have no idea where I am,” your tears mixed with the rain beating down on your face. “I know you said you wanted me to leave, but I need help. I tried to get to the city, but my car completely broke down. Can you—can you find me. Please?”
His heart broke at your words. As if he ever wouldn’t find you. “You think I care about what I said, sweetheart? There’s only one callbox between here and the city, I know exactly where you are. I’m gonna come get you baby, you stay put. Your car nearby?”
“Yeah, Buck, like a few yards away,” He sighed in relief.
“Okay, good. Listen, sweetheart, I put a gun under the passenger's seat so—”
“You put a what!” You gaped. He ignored your interruption.
“— go grab it and wait in the car. You remember how to turn the safety off?” he asked, breath huffing through the speaker as he ran to one of Tony’s cars.
“I mean yeah, but I don’t think—”
“Good girl. I’ll be there as fast as I can. Anyone stops by your car, you shoot,” he tensed, sliding into the driver’s seat.
“Bucky, I’m not gonna shoot anybody,” you yelled, rain still distorting your voice.
“You shoot anyone who’s not me, got it? Go get in the car, I’m on my way. I love you. So much. I’m so happy you’re okay,” he hung up, the call box’s service too weak to hear your response.
Bucky was pretty sure he’d never driven a car faster in his life. Not even when he was sent on missions as the winter soldier. It didn’t matter that they had control over his mind, you had control over his everything and he’d be damned if he was going to leave you alone out there for one second longer.
When your car came into view, he skidded to a halt and practically threw his car door from its hinges. He had yours open a second later, and you were scooped into his arms before you had the chance to be scared. The rain was beating down on Bucky’s back as he held onto you for dear life, all of the words he put into those voicemails translating into his hold on you.
“Baby,” he stressed, words spoken into your shoulder. “I thought you left me. You weren’t answerin’ and I thought I sent you away for good. I didn’t mean it like that, sweetheart, I take it all back,” you pulled back from his protesting arms, gripping his face between your hands.
“Leave you? Bucky, you’re everything to me. Only reason I left is because you were so upset with me. And I’m sorry I told that therapist all that stuff, it wasn’t my place. You don’t have to do anything you don't want to,” Bucky was already shaking his head before you could finish, pressing you back into his chest as if it hurt him to not be close to you.
“‘Course it’s your place, sweetheart. I’m yours, and you’re mine. If you’re not looking out for me, then no one is. I’m sorry I got so upset. I do trust you,” his grip on your waist tightened. “I trust you more than I trust myself sometimes.” You took a brief pause to absorb the weight of his words.
“I only do the things I do because I love you, Bucky. Always,” he was the one to pull back this time, allowing the rain to drip from his hair onto your face. His gaze shifted from your eyes down to your lips, and then back up again. His thumb came up to brush your lower lip.
“Can I kiss you?” his voice was lost in the rain, but his eyes shone with clear, devastating adoration.
“You never have to ask,” and so he kissed you. He kissed you and he kissed you until you felt nothing but him. Rain mingled in with his lips and you were briefly reminded of all the romance movies you made Bucky watch when he first got to the compound. You weren’t sure if he was actually paying attention to them, but the way he was kissing you now made up for it and then some.
“Never do that again,” he stressed as you parted. “Never leave. Stay and scream at me and tell me I’m wrong and hit me, but never make me worry I’ve lost you. Not when I haven’t yet.”
“Okay, Bucky,” you whispered, still dazed from the kiss. “I’ll always stay.”
2K notes · View notes
i’m begging for you (take my hand)
this fic has 18+ content! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. this is for your safety and mine! please respect that.
by continuing to read you are stating that you are over eighteen and understand this content is not meant for minors.
summary // bucky doesn’t do love, you love bucky. being friends with benefits makes sense, right? [bucky barnes x female!reader]
words // 19.0k (BUCKLE UP IT’S A LONG ONE)
warnings // modern!bucky, fwb! trope, brief love triangle (steve x reader x bucky), overall toxicity, cursing, daddy issues (bucky’s dad left), drinking, excessive use of nicknames (sweetheart/sweets/baby), oral sex (f! receiving), penetrative sex, unsafe sex (do not have unprotected sex!), spitting, thigh riding, bucky has a metal arm but it’s not explained why (it was a car accident & that is already known by reader)
notes // title from willow by taylor swift (this fic was originally titled heartbeat and inspired by childish gambino’s song of the same name) i just could not get modern bucky not knowing how to deal with feelings out of my head & it became this catastrophe [ive never written 18+ before so pls be gentle in your judgement of those scenes omg] happy reading!
if you enjoy this, reblogs & replies are greatly appreciated (especially when pieces take this much work)
》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《
“To Bucky Barnes, my now forever lawyer.” You hold out your wine glass and he meets you halfway in a cheers. Bucky laughs brightly as you praise him. “And now my sugar daddy, since he makes an insane amount of money as senior associate.”
The two of you are halfway through your second bottle of wine. “I’ve been a lawyer for four years. I’m just now becoming your go-to?” He holds a hand to his chest in faux hurt.
You lean towards him as you laugh. “I needed to make sure you were a good lawyer. Get me off murder charges good.” It feels like the two of you have been scooting closer to each other all night.
“Sweetheart, you know I’d be there to help you hide the body if you needed me to.” He leans towards you in a conspiratorial whisper. Your eyes move from his eyes to his lips before snapping back up. “Then get you off the charges.” He breathes out.
You can feel his breath on your face. The scent of red wine hits your noise and you can see it staining his lips. You want to kiss him so desperately, but you just can’t make the first move. You don’t think you could handle that rejection.
“I’m gonna kiss you.” He says quietly, his eyes scanning over your face for any sign of rejection. You swallow thickly before nodding. “Okay.” You whisper back before letting out a nervous giggle.
Bucky’s hand comes up to rest against your cheek. Its coldness relieves some of the heat that’s risen to underneath your skin from his proximity and the wine you’ve consumed.
Your eyes slide shut as he leans in. His nose nudging against yours before you feel his lips. You bring your hand up to rest on his chest. His lips are softer than you expected and taste like the wine they’re stained with. It’s everything you’ve dreamed of when dreaming of kissing Bucky.
He pulls away and looks at you with half lidded eyes. “You’re so pretty.” He mumbles. You feel heat crawl up the back of your neck at the honesty in his tone. He presses a kiss against your jaw. Then your neck. Your head falls to the side to allow him better access.
It’s easy to move into his lap when his hands grip at your hips. “Fuck.” Bucky moans as you grind down against him. You throw your head back in a moan as his lips trail down from your jaw to your neck.
“Shit.” You say breathlessly as his hands run up and down your sides. Your hands drop down and begin to work on his jeans button and zipper. Bucky lets out a groan when they brush against his already hard dick.
You stand from his lap and he pulls his jeans off while you move to unbutton your top. As you work on the shirt, Bucky’s hands reach out to undo your own jeans. When you’re standing in nothing but underwear in front of him, Bucky isn’t doing anything but staring. The heat in his eyes makes you feel flush and goes straight to your core. “Fuck. You’re gorgeous.” He says quietly.
You crawl back into his lip and Bucky’s hands find you again immediately. You rub against him and both of you moan at the slight relief it offers. Bucky’s hand drifts down between you two and he begins to rub over your clothed clit.
You grind down on his hand and let out a whine. “More. More. Please.” You whisper. Bucky laughs softly at you before slipping his hand into your underwear and running a finger over your slit. “Oh my god.” Your head falls to rest on his shoulder.
“That’s it. You look so good like this, sweetheart.” He murmurs into your hair. The praise makes you moan as you grind down against him again desperate for more.
You pull back to look at him, one of your hands tangled in the hair at the back of his head. In a breathless tone you say, “Fuck me.”
Bucky groans. “Oh shit.” His hips buck up against you. “Yeah. Okay.” He pushes you off of his lap gently and moves to pull his briefs off. You follow suit and pull your underwear off.
“Come here.” He groans as he pulls you back over his lap. You giggle as he presses a flurry of kisses across your chest. He holds a hand out in front of you, “Spit.” He orders.
You glance at him in shock before following the order. His eyes roll back as he watches you before he moves to use the spit to lube himself up. “Fuck me. Please.” You whisper to him as he teases your entrance.
“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Bucky slips into you and you both let out loud moans. “Fuck. Fuck. You feel so good.” His forehead rests against your chest as both of you relish in the feeling for a moment. After a few seconds of shaky breathing, you yank at his hair gently so he’s forced to look at you again. A smirk spreads across his face at the feeling and you smile down at him, “Gonna fuck me? Or are we just sit here?” You tease.
Bucky’s hands grip your hips tightly and he steadies his feet on the ground. “Yeah, sweets. ‘M gonna fuck you.”
Your eyes focus in on Wanda as she waves a hand in front of your face. You can feel your body grow hot at the memory of Bucky and you. “What’s on your mind? You’ve been zoning out all night.” She laughs softly.
“Bucky and I had sex last night.” You blurt out, unable to keep it to yourself any longer. You swallow tightly when Wanda’s eyes brighten in excitement before confusion takes over.
She watches your face, like she can tell something was wrong, and doesn’t move to do anything for a second. When she does speak, it’s hesitant. “You’ve liked him since we were in school. Is this good or bad?”
You frown. She was right, you had liked Bucky since he had come barreling into your life senior year of college with bright eyes, mischievous smiles and maybe too many issues to ever be in a real relationship. You had sat through his flings and tried to move on with you own, but every guy had ended up being jealous of Bucky or too boring compared to him.
“He doesn’t-” You suck in a deep breath. “He doesn’t want a relationship.” You say quietly. You take another sip of your wine when Wanda reaches over with pity filled eyes and grabs a hold of your hand.
She shakes her head like she doesn’t understand what you’ve just said to her. “What do... What do you mean?”
You run your hands over your face in despair. “I don’t... We had like two bottles of wine and we hooked up.” You look up at her with tearful eyes. “When I woke up this morning, he went on about how he loved me and he didn’t want to hurt me.”
Wanda’s watching you with wide eyes. “Start from the beginning. What did he say? Are you sure he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship?” She’s shaking her head in disbelief.
You take a deep breath before launching into the story.
His bed is empty when you wake up. Your stomach sinks as you stare at his bedroom door left ajar. You can hear him in the kitchen talking, but you can’t quite make out what he’s saying.
You take a deep breath before getting up. You had hoped he would sleep in with you. That cuddling in the morning would lead to confessions of hidden feelings. Your hopes diminished as you creeped down the hallway towards the kitchen.
“No.” Bucky sounds anxious as he talks into the phone. “I’m telling you. I fucked up.” You step in the kitchen and he glances over his shoulder with wide eyes. “I’ve got to go. Bye.” He hangs up abruptly and turns to you with a tense smile.
You give him a small smile in return. “Morning.” You tug at the hem of his t-shirt nervously as he stares at you. “We should-”
“I wanted to-” The two of you laugh awkwardly as you speak over one another. You hold your hand towards him. “You go first.” You move to sit at one of counter’s barstools.
Bucky’s watching you with wary eyes and if his words to whoever was on that phone weren’t warning enough, this new demeanor around you certainly is. “You’re my best friend.” He comes to stand directly across from you. “And I care about you a lot. You’re one of the most important women in my life. I don’t want to ruin our relationship.”
You nod slowly as he attempts to reject you kindly. If it weren’t so painful, you might laugh at how awkward he looks. “It’s not...” You trail off unsure of what to say. “Bucky, it’s not that serious. We’re fine.” You reach your hand across the counter palm up for him to take.
His brows furrow. “You’re not mad at me?” He asks in confusion. “I thought-”
You shake your fingers and he smiles before holding your hand tightly in his. “It was consensual. With a guy I trust with my life. And it was great sex. I’m not mad at you.” You smile reassuringly.
It’s not a lie. Not at all. Everything you said was true, you had just left out the part where you had been hoping for more. But you could get over this. A one time fling. You could survive it as long as you didn’t lose him.
“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.” Bucky’s shoulders relax. The tension on his face transforms into a cocky smirk. “Great sex?”
“That’s...” Wanda trails off as she digests your words. “Why didn’t you tell him how you feel?” She asks.
You look at her with wide eyes. “What do you mean why didn’t I tell him? Should we start with me overhearing him telling someone how much he fucked up or his rejection for dummies speech?” You laugh sarcastically.
Wanda gives you apologetic eyes. “How can you be sure he was talking to the person on the phone about you?” You scrunch your nose up at her and she sighs. “Okay, whatever. At least now you know he doesn’t want a relationship! You can move on and find someone with a bigger dick.”
“Wanda!” You can’t help but laugh. You give her an appreciative smile before letting out a sigh. “I don’t know... I guess I just always thought we’d end up together. It’s stupid.”
You trace your finger around the base of your wine glass. Wanda watches you for a moment before flagging down a waitress. She looks at you with a twinkle in her eye. “Can I get a round of tequila shots, please?” She asks.
The waitress nods before walking away. “We’re going to get you drunk and make you forget all about Bucky Barnes.”
You laugh softly. “Yes please.”
Four glasses of wine and two rounds of shots leaves you struggling to get the key into your apartment door’s lock.
“Fuck.” You mutter when you push too hard and the keys clatter against the floor. You sigh deeply before bending down to pick them. You lay one palm flat against your door in an attempt to steady your shaky feet as the other reaches for your keys.
Then you’re falling forward and your shoulder hits the floor harshly. “Jesus, sweetheart. I thought you were some weirdo trying to break in.” You groan as you look up and see Bucky staring down at you with furrowed brows.
He’s wearing nothing but sweatpants, his metal arm and abs on full display for you. You give him a dopey smile. “Hey, handsome.”
He laughs loudly. It’s bright and contagious and makes you giggle as he bends down to lift you to your feet. “Missed you tonight.” He says softly as he wraps his arm around your waist.
You allow yourself to rest your bodyweight on him, knowing he’s strong enough to lead you to your room. His soft words leave you feeling like you’re floating. It’s like the night before had never happened.
“Missed you too.” You whisper. Your words are slurred, not that you can change that, but you know he understands them. He presses a kiss to your head in response as he leads you down the hall and into a room.
The room is spinning around you, but you know it’s Bucky’s from the blank walls and dark furniture. Bucky sits you down on the edge of his bed and your fingers immediately grip his comforter tightly. “Why’d you bring me here?” Your grip is the only thing that keeps you from falling backwards onto his bed.
You try to focus your eyes on him, but he’s moving around the room too fast. From what you think is his dresser then his closet. “I’ve got to make sure you don’t choke on your own vomit tonight.”
“‘M not gonna get sick.” You mumble as he comes to a stop in front of you. He holds out a pile of clothes to you. “I have my own clothes in my own room.” You stare up at him defiantly.
You can see Bucky push his tongue against the inside of his cheek, a tell that he was getting a little annoyed. “C’mon sweets. Just put the clothes on and get in bed.”
He’s still holding the clothes out in front of you. His earlier rejection running through your mind. “I’m not having sex with you tonight.” You blurt out. You would have never said the words sober, but you didn’t want him to think it would become a recurring thing.
Bucky laughs awkwardly and drops the clothes on the bed beside you. “I’m not trying to have sex with you. I’m trying to take care of you and make sure you don’t die in your sleep.”
Your eyes narrow, but you feel far too dizzy to actually get up and move to your room to prove a point. You lift your arms and look up at Bucky, “Help?”
He smiles victoriously and reaches for the hem of your shirt. You can see his eyes trail over your bralette and feel your cheeks warm, but you blame that on the alcohol.
“Do you want to sleep in this?” He whispers as his fingers trail over one of the straps. You shiver as one of his cold fingers presses into your skin and leaves goosebumps in its wake.
You bite down on your lip, but nod your head. “I’ll be fine in it.”
He nods and you raise your arms again as he slips one of his black t-shirts onto you. It’s soft and smells like him leaving you warm all over and suddenly tired. Your head falls so your chin is resting against your chest.
Bucky kneels down in front of you. “Is it okay if I take your jeans off? So I can put sweatpants on you?” He moves his head so you’re forced to make eye contact with him as his hands come to rest on your stomach. He fiddles with your jean’s button, but doesn’t move to actually undo it yet.
You nod softly before falling backwards onto the bed. Bucky’s hands move quickly as he unbuttons and unzips your jeans. There’s a sharp inhale once he gets your jeans off, but you ignore it.
“Sweetheart.” You lift your hips when you feel his sweatpants get stuck underneath you. “Thank you.” He says quietly.
“What did you do tonight?” You mumble as you move around his bed to crawl under the comforter. You wait until he’s situated beside you before pulling the blanket up to cover the bottom half of your face.
He pulls the blanket down and holds out a wipe. “You complain when I let you fall asleep with the makeup.”
Your eyes flicker to his in brief shock, unaware of how much he actually listened to you. “Than...Thank you.” You begin to wipe it across your face. It’s not your normal routine, but it was better than nothing. “Tell me about your night.”
Bucky moves so he’s sitting against his headboard. “I just waited for you all night.” He shrugs.
You drop the wipe onto the side table. “Shut up. What did you really do?” You shove gently at his shoulder. Bucky’s hand wraps around your wrist and he pulls you into him.
He’s stronger when you’re sober, so your drunk body falls into his side easily and you wrap an arm around his waist. “I’m telling you the truth, sweets. I just waited all night for you.” He presses a kiss to your temple.
You look up from his chest to find him looking down at you with soft eyes. He’s being kind and you’re sure all that he can think of is how happy he is that your friendship hasn’t been ruined.
But all you can think about is how no matter how soft he is with you, he still doesn’t want to be with you. No matter how much he says he loves you and misses you, it’s not the sam way you mean it. It leaves a crack in your heart that you’re unsure will ever be healed.
She’s pretty. You think bitterly as you watch from across the room.
Bucky’s firm had a party every few months for donors. Bucky hated them. He always complained that schmoozing wasn’t his specialty, law was, so you were usually dragged along as his plus one to “Keep me from dying of boredom, please.”
You usually didn’t mind. Bucky flirted for money, you got to enjoy to open bar to cope with his non-existent feelings for you. Tonight felt even worse.
You force yourself to look away and look back down at the drink in front of you. You’re glad Wanda isn’t there to look at you with the same pity filled eyes that you had been getting since revealing the details of your hook up, but you wish you had someone to turn to.
“You look great in that dress.” Your head whips up at the familiar voice. Steve is smiling at you sweetly and you can tell he’s keeping his eyes respectfully on yours. “Definitely your color.”
You laugh. You and Steve weren’t particularly close, he was a childhood friend and you were college. The two of you really only spent time together in groups or with Bucky there. “Thank you, Mr. Rogers.” You tease.
“Please.” He throws his head back in an over dramatic groan. “Steve! So many people have called me Mr. Rogers tonight I’m going to fall into an identity crisis.”
You give him an ill-suppressed smile. “Thank you, Steve.” He sits down in the barstool next to you and waves the bartender over.
“Water for me and…” He glances at the empty glass in front of you, “another glass of wine for her?” His voice ends in a question and he smiles brightly when you nod.
“I could be wrong, but aren’t you supposed to be flirting with rich women to fund your pro bono cases?” You run a finger around the base of your glass.
Steve’s eyes trail from your manicured nails up to your teasing smile. He swallows and forces out a soft laugh. “I’m not too good at the flirting that’s uh-.” He looks over his shoulder before looking back at you with kind eyes.
You ignore his insinuation. Ignore the idea of Bucky and Steve feeling pity for you over Bucky. “Everyone deserves a break.”
The man in front of you gives you a relieved smile. “And what better way to take a break than talk to a pretty girl?”
You smile sweetly. “You could get 100k easily with that charm.” Steve throws his head back in a laugh and his arm lands on the back of your seat when he leans back in.
You find yourself leaning in too. He’s got a nice laugh and sweet personality. You can feel the warmth radiating off of him and it’s relaxing.
For a moment, Bucky is forgotten as Steve gives you all his attention, the first person to do so all night.
Bucky stops to stand next to Sam as he takes a sip of his drink. His eyes scan over the party in search of you.
“Good for Steve.” Sam says into his glass before taking a sip of his drink. Bucky’s eyes cut to him in question. Sam nods in front of him and Bucky’s eyes settle on you at the bar. With Steve.
“What do you mean good for Steve?” Bucky asks. He can’t take his eyes off of you as Steve slides a glass of wine towards you.
Sam shrugs nonchalantly. “He’s had a crush on her since that Halloween party last year.”
Bucky’s mind drifts to you in your skin tight superhero costume. He wasn’t blind, he had seen the guys who had come up to you and their eyes that had trailed after you.
“He hasn’t said anything to me.” He feels a surge of pride at the fact that he can’t explain when he thinks of how at the end of the night, you had come home alone with him, content to sit on the couch and watch horror movies. “He’s not her type.” He adds on after a moment of silence.
Bucky isn’t too confident in his words though. Steve seemed to be the perfect kind of guy for you. Kind, funny, made good money, and was always the guy who listened with open ears. Bucky just couldn’t fathom you with anybody that… He doesn’t know, but he knows Steve doesn’t feel right.
Sam snorts. “Yeah. Try telling you about wanting to take her out? He’d rather live.” Bucky watches as Steve leans in closer to whisper something into your ear.
He feels rage surge through him, but forces himself to stay in his spot. “Not like we’re dating. He could have told me if he wanted to. Or made a move.” He wasn’t sure why he felt so angry about you and Steve. It wasn’t like you two were dating, he hadn’t lied to Sam.
Sam looks at Bucky like he’s grown two heads. “Come on, Buck. Not dating? You call her all these nicknames, never let other people flirt with her, always take her home.”
“We live together.” Bucky defends weakly. His mind drifts to kissing you while wine drunk. He shakes his head. “Of course I take her home.”
Sam looks a little bemused as he asks, “Are you two seriously not dating?”
“Of course not! She’s my best friend.” He glances at Sam before looking back over at Steve. You’re leaning in too. It’s not like he was lying, the two of you weren’t dating. But he had brought you as his date tonight and he’ll be damned if Steve weasels his way into your heart.
“I was just cur-“ Bucky shoves his empty glass into Sam’s hand before beginning to make his way through the crowd towards you.
He can vaguely hear Sam shout a goodbye, but all he can focus on is getting your attention onto him and off of Steve.
You feel him before you see him. His hand trailing up your back before landing on the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. His grip isn’t tight, but it makes you shiver.
“What’s going on here?” His voice is a possessive drawl and you look up at him with a confused smile.
You sit up straighter and Steve immediately pulls away. His blue eyes follow Bucky’s arm to his face and they narrow. “Just keeping her company. Noticed you were busy, so…” Steve trails off with a shrug.
Bucky’s grip on you tightens. “Well, I’m here now. You can go back to schmoozing.” He nods his head in the direction of the party, but Steve doesn’t budge.
You’re extremely confused by Bucky’s sudden possessiveness over your attention and turn to him with an annoyed glare. “Actually, Steve was telling me about how that’s your specialty. He’s far too sweet to mindlessly flirt. ”
You feel Steve’s shocked gaze on you, because he had definitely not said that, but you don’t look away from Bucky. His glare melts into a sickly sweet smile as he turns to look at his childhood friend. “That so?”
Part of you feels bad for pushing Steve into the middle of whatever this tension was between you and Bucky. But you can’t ignore the pleasure that rushes through you as Bucky’s grip tightens and his attention focuses solely on you for the first time all night.
Steve looks back and forth between you two before he stands from his seat. “It was nice seeing you.” He leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek before slapping a hand against Bucky’s back. “See you later, punk.”
You swallow as Bucky moves to take Steve’s now unoccupied seat. He orders a drink and you can only watch in shock as moves around so casually. When he finally looks back at you he just looks confused by your silence.
“What’s up?” He asks with a smile.
You roll your eyes at him. “What was that?” You gesture in the direction Steve had gone before looking at him with wide eyes.
Bucky looks down at his drink and shrugs. “Didn’t want anyone bothering you.”
“Anyone bothering me? That was Steve!” You laugh incredulously. “I know Steve. You know Steve. He was keeping me company.” You can’t wrap your head around his random behavior.
Bucky shakes his head like you’re the one who’s being confusing and acting weird. “You just looked a little uncomfortable. I came to your rescue.” He gulps down the rest of his drink.
“My rescue?” You shake your head at him. “Buck, it was Steve. Steve Rogers is one of the most polite men in New York.”
Bucky shakes his head. “He likes you. Sam said he was definitely trying to make a move on you.” He immediately feels bad for blurting out Steve’s secret, but he just can’t let it go.
You scrunch your face up in confusion before letting out a breath. “That’s not your secret to tell.” You grab your clutch and stand up quickly. “Why would that even matter anyways?” You look down at him now, he’s still sitting on the barstool. He won’t look up at you.
“Can we just go home?” He asks quietly as he taps his fingers against the bar counter. You bite down on your lip before finally nodding. “Fine.” He lets out a sigh before standing to follow you.
You’re shocked when you feel his fingers slip in between yours as the two of you walk towards the elevators. Holding hands with Bucky wasn’t new, per say, you’d done it at bars to get out of creepy guys flirting with you, amusement parks so as to not lose one another, but this… This felt different, softer and more insecure.
You swallow before squeezing his hand in return. You hear the relieved breath he lets out as the two of you stop in front of the closed elevator doors.
He whispers your name with a tug of your hand. You turn to look at him as the two of you step into the empty elevator. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to screw things up with Steve. I just… I don’t know.”
Your heart breaks a little. You weren’t sure what you expected. Maybe an admission of jealousy, that Bucky realized he didn't want you with Steve or any other guy, he wanted you with him. But the words never came and you feel stupid for letting your hopes get the best of you.
You shrug. “It’s fine, Buck.” The elevator is slow in its descent. You almost groan when you see how high you are and the fifteen floors left to go down. “I don’t like Steve… I just… It was nice to have some company. You were busy all night.”
You try to hide the emotion in your voice, but Bucky can hear it. He can see it too, written on your face as you try to keep your eyes on the descending numbers.
Your words cause a wave of relief to crash over him. You didn’t like Steve. You didn’t like Steve. He felt bad for his friend, but not bad enough to stop his next move.
He tugs at your hand again. The elevator is almost all the way down if you could just ignore him for a few more seconds-
His lips are on yours before you even have a chance to think about why he’s pulling you towards him. You’re still with shock, your hands clasped between you two, as Bucky kisses you.
You don’t kiss back, too stunned to. Bucky pulls back when the elevator finally dings and you try to rush out only to be stopped when you realize you’re still attached to Bucky’s hand.
“What the fuck was that?” You hiss. “You can’t just… Just flip out about Steve flirting, tell me you’re not jealous and then kiss me!” You yell.
Bucky swallows thickly and glances around the empty lobby. “I… It…”
You stare at him with lifted brows waiting for an explanation. “You need to figure your shit out, Buck. I said I was fine if you wanted it to be a one time thing but I’m not here for you to yank around.”
“I’m not trying to yank you around!” Bucky defends. “I just… What if it wasn’t just a one time thing?” He asks quietly, his voice almost a whisper.
You want to cry. “Wh...What?” You ask with a shake of your head.
“I feel like such a dick.” He admits taking a hesitant step closer to you. When you don’t move away, he places a hand on your cheek. “Stuff with work has been so stressful lately and… and I never have the time or energy to do anything. The other night, with you, was the most relaxed I’ve been in a while.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’ve been thinking of us helping each other out.”
“Like a friends with benefits thing?” You blurt out when you realize where he was going with this.
He nods. “I just… Got to thinking after you left that morning. It was great sex, best I’ve had in a while.” You swallow and your eyes dart away a little embarrassed. “And I know you and don’t have to worry about you giving me some disease. We live together and we wouldn’t have to go out or wait for some random hook up.”
You can’t really wrap your head around his words. “But you don’t want… You don’t want to have a relationship?”
“You know me.” He laughs tensely. “Not a relationship guy. I love you, you’re my best friend, but-“
“That’s good.” Your blurt, already regretting the words. “I mean, I love you, you’re my best friend too, you know? Neither of us really have time for one anyways and… Life is stressful.”
“You… You want to? Do the benefits thing?” Bucky looks like he can’t believe that you’re agreeing. Quite honestly, you can’t really believe the words coming out of your mouth either.
Because you liked Bucky. You had for so long now it felt like it was a piece of you. You were sure you loved him. You were sure he didn’t feel the same way and this… This was a way to be with him, no matter how fucked up it may be.
And life was stressful. A full time job with New York City rent and bills. You hated going out. You hate hook ups, they always left you disgruntled and disappointed. Bucky had… Bucky had been good. The best, probably. And it would be nice to have someone other than yourself every once in a while.
“Yeah.” You whisper. “I… I want to. I’m kind of sick of my hand.”
Bucky snorts then laughs and it immediately calms you down. He was still your Bucky. Just with the added bonus of sex. “Me too, sweets.”
He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you into a hug. You suck in a deep breath. “I think you said something about going home.” You mumble into his suit jacket.
“Yeah.” He whispers back, tilting your chin up to look up. He smirks down at you. “I did.”
“Fuck. Fuck.” You moan as Bucky kisses down your chest. “Please, Buck.” You whimper when his right hand comes up and begins to play with your nipple.
He doesn’t respond, his tongue flicking over your other nipple. You’re arching your back into him, it feels good, but you want more. His left hand is settled on your hip and you want it on you in a different way.
You groan when he pulls away to look at you. “What do you want, sweetheart? You gotta tell me or I won’t be able to give it to you.” His tone is sweet, but he’s looking at you with blown pupils and a cocky smile.
“Your fingers, Buck, please.” You try to lift your hips up a little, but his left hand keeps you pressed against his mattress. You look at him pleadingly when he still doesn’t move. “Please, James.” You murmur.
You didn’t call him by his first name often, he had introduced himself as Bucky and you hadn’t even learned it until a few months later. Sometimes you pulled it out to tease him, but tonight… You wanted to see if it would push him.
“Fuck.” He mutters, leaning over you and beginning to press a line of kisses down your stomach all the way to your pelvic bone. “Fuck, that’s hot. Say it again.”
You throw your head back in a moan when his hand begins to rub you through your panties. “James. I need you to-“
“Gonna give you more than my fingers, sweets.” He hooks fingers in the waistband of your panties and yanks them down. “Finally gonna get a taste of you, if that’s okay.” He glances at you and you nod hastily.
“God. Yes, please.” Your eyes flutter shut as his hands force your thighs open. His grip on you is tight and harsh and makes your entire body tingle.
“So pretty.” He murmurs just watching you. If you weren’t so turned on you would be embarrassed by his stare, but his words just make you even more desperate for him. He settles on his stomach, head between your thighs. He begins to bite and kiss his way up your inner thigh. “Been thinking about this since you let me fuck you, sweetheart.” He admits in a murmur before finally putting his mouth on you. “Thinking about how you taste.”
“Oh shit.” You moan, a combination of the pleasure of his tongue and his words giving you butterflies. “Yes. Fuck.”
“Knew you’d taste good.” He moans, the words go straight to your core and he knows it. He knows what he’s doing. His hands gripping at your hips tightly, thumbs rubbing calming circles into your skin. He flicks his tongue over your sensitive spot and your back arches. “So good.” You murmur breathily. Your hands are clutching the bed sheets as you try to grind your hips up.
Bucky pulls one hand away, it gives you a little more freedom to move but not much, and begins to tease you with a finger.
“Yes. Please, your fingers.” You beg him. Bucky chuckles against you, sending hot breath and a small vibration straight to your core. It feels good, he’s good.
He pulls away slightly and you whine. “Come on, sweets.” He urges, pushing his finger into you. You moan at the feeling. “What happened to calling me James? Said I liked it.” He adds another, your slick heat allowing them easily.
“James.” You look down at him with blown pupils. Bucky almost comes right there, his fingers inside of you, your chest heaving and you looking at him like that. “James. Please. Want your mouth on me again.”
Now that you’ve started saying his name, it’s like you can’t stop. The name tumbles out of your mouth like a prayer. He rewards you for it though, his mouth is back on you, licking over you steadily, and you can feel the tension in your stomach the closer and closer you get.
“So good.” Bucky murmurs into your skin. You moan out again. “Gonna come for me, sweetheart?” He pulls away to ask, his breath fanning across your skin. Your hips buck up towards him in desperation and Bucky groans. “Come on, sweets. Can you come for me? Please.”
He curves his fingers and flicks his tongue over your already sensitive bud again and your back arches. “Fuck. Fuck.” You moan as your orgasm washes over you. Bucky works you through it and your legs are shaking by the time he pulls his mouth away to smile cheekily at you.
“I like it when you call me James.” He whispers as he crawls up towards you. You roll you eyes with a tired smile. He fingers trace circles over you stomach. “You tired?”
You nod your head. Your eyes trail over his body, his hard dick making an obvious tent in his briefs. You smirk at him, your hand moving to trail down from his stomach to his dick. Bucky moans as your hand grips him.
“Still want you to fuck me though.”
Bucky thinks maybe the two of you should establish some ground rules. No dates, if you sleep with somebody else let the other know, use protection, don’t fall asleep together.
But he can’t imagine the two of you not having your regular Sunday breakfasts together after his runs or forcing you out of his room when the two of you had shared beds long before this ever happened.
So, he ignores it. He decides to enjoy your warmth in his bed and assumes you’re not seeing anybody else. It’s good. It works, even if his friends think he’s being an idiot.
Steve is on one side while Sam is on his other and they’ve both been standing in silence now that Bucky has finished explaining what happened when the two of you left the party.
He feels bad when he sees Sam’s eyes flicker to Steve in confusion, but Steve’s face holds more pity than annoyance. It makes Bucky feel uncomfortable in his spot as he takes a sip of water.
“I don’t understand why you’re not calling her your girlfriend.” Steve finally says.
Bucky rolls his shoulders with an annoyed sigh. “I just said. We’re both busy with work and friends, there’s no time for relationships. This works for the both of us. We don’t have to rely on shitty hookups and we trust each other.”
Steve gives Bucky a look that screams you’re an idiot while Sam just laughs loudly. “You have to know how ridiculous that sounds, dude.” Sam slaps a hand against Bucky’s back. “You guys live together. You have all the time in the world to actually date each other. I thought you guys were dating each other with how you act. you’re having sex now and you still won’t call her your girlfriend?” He asks incredulously.
“I...I don’t want a relationship. It leads to marriage and kids and fights.” Bucky shudders. “No thanks. This way I get great sex and my best friend.”
Steve sighs heavily. “She deserves better than that, Buck. You know that.” His voice is full of disappointment. The same tone Bucky has been getting for years when it came to his relationships.
“Like you?” His tone is defensive and his words are meaner than they should be. Bucky knows all Steve wants is for his friends to be happy. “She’s a grown woman. She can decide who she wants to have sex with.”
“Come on, Buck. You’re not an idiot. She’s had a crush on you for years.” Steve lets out an exasperated sigh. “This is a great way to drive her away and lose her for good.”
“All,” Steve raises his voice to cut Bucky off, “I’m saying is she’ll figure out this isn’t what she wants and find someone who can give it to her. Then you’ll be left in the dust realizing what an idiot you were for letting your irrational fears talk you out of being with her.”
Bucky runs his tongue over his lips. “Who? Are you gonna steal her?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “Will it be stealing when you’re the one who drives her away?”
His bed is empty when you wake up, but that’s no surprise, you knew Bucky ran Sunday mornings with the guys. You almost expect to feel more shame or pain over falling into this friends with benefits thing. But, you feel okay. Bucky was still your best friend. Just with mind-blowing sex. He didn’t kick you out at night and didn’t seem put off by you.
Your phone vibrates somewhere in his room from the inside of your clutch. You groan and finally move to sit up. Bucky has picked your things up and folded everything into a neat pile on the top of his dresser. Your clutch is sitting on the top of the pile and you can see the vibrations of your phone shaking it slightly.
You pick his shirt up from the floor and slide it on before reaching for your underwear underneath the clutch.
When you pull your phone out you see a few missed calls from Wanda, one last night the one you’ve just missed. You crawl into Bucky’s bed again and call her back.
“Hey!” You smile at Wanda’s voice. “I called you last night, but I forgot you had that lawyer thing.” You can imagine her nose scrunching up in disgust at the idea.
You mess with a loose thread on the comforter. “Yeah. Buck dragged me along.” There’s silence on the other end. You sigh heavily. “Shit. Wanda. You’ll never guess what I did last night.”
Your eyes take in the room. Bucky doesn’t have many decorations or knick knacks, but he has a couple pictures sitting on his nightstand. You move to his side of the bed and pick one of them up.
“You go home together?” Wanda doesn’t need to guess, there’s a twinge of disappointment in her voice but all you can focus on is the sadness you hear. Like she’s just hurting for you at this point.
You stare down at the photo in your hand. It’s from Bucky’s last birthday. “We live together.” You defect. The photo is the two of you sitting at your kitchen counter with two glasses of wine in front of you. The wine is red and you can faintly see it staining both of your lips. His arm is wrapped loosely around your waist and you’re pressing a kiss his cheek. The photo makes your heart ache. “You sleep in your room?” Wanda laughs. You drop the photo on the bed in front of you. “You’ve gotta tell him. Tell him how you feel, really.” She urges you.
You’re shaking your head even though she can’t see you. “It’ll ruin everything.” You say quietly. Losing him would be worse than loving him like this. “We... We agreed on a benefits thing last night. I think it can work.”
“That’s a great way to get hurt.” Wanda says. You glance at the other picture he has sitting on his nightstand.
It’s a photo of him and Steve. The two of them are children standing with hands wrapped tightly around the straps of their backpacks and they’ve got bright smiles on their faces. You smile at the sight, both boys happy, carefree and full of life.
Bucky’s left arm is still flesh in the photograph. He doesn’t talk about the accident much, he had come out with one arm and a completely changed person. Sometimes you wonder if things would be different if it had never happened.
You hear the front door slam shut. “I’ve gotta go! I’ll talk to you later.” You hang up before Wanda can say anything else. You leave the picture frame sitting in the bed, moving quickly from Bucky’s room to your own.
Bucky’s bedroom door is open when he gets home, but you’re nowhere to be found. Your clothes still sit on his dresser and there’s a picture frame partially covered by his comforter that makes Bucky pause.
It’s his favorite picture of you two, wine stained lips and happiness radiating off of you. He wonders what had made you grab it and what had made you drop it. Steve’s words come to mind she’s had a crush on you for years.
Bucky wasn’t an idiot. He had seen the nervous smiles and bright eyes in college, he had done everything he could to stay just friends with you and it had seemed to work. You had moved on. Boyfriends and flings had come and gone, your eyes had shifted into a caring stare and you stopped nervously fidgeting with your hands around him, so Bucky had assumed your crush went away. Even now there was nothing that really stood out as you liking him. It sounded like Steve was making assumptions to mess with Bucky’s head. And it was working.
He stares at the picture for another moment before placing it back on his nightstand. Bucky wasn’t afraid of relationships, Steve was wrong, he just hated how they ended. He wasn’t afraid of holding hands or expensive dates, he was afraid of the unavoidable hurt and falling out of love that would cause him to lose you.
He couldn’t lose you.
“Bucky?” Your voice jolts him from his thoughts and his head turns from the photo to you, standing in his doorway in nothing but his t-shirt and a pair shorts. “What should we order for lunch?”
Bucky lets out a deep breath before smiling up at you. “We should get some wraps from that cafe down the block.”
“That sounds good.” You smile. Your eyes move over him and Bucky has to look away. You’ve always been good at studying him and knowing if something was up. “Everything okay?”
Bucky shakes his head. “I’m just thinking.” He offers a tense smile that makes you step further into his room. Bucky’s eyes move from your bare feet up your legs to your face that’s watching him with concerned eyes.
“That can’t be good.” You tease as you take a seat next to him. You rest your head against his shoulder and Bucky feels a little calmer with you next to him. “What’s got you spacing out like that, Buck?” You ask gently.
“You’re not…” Bucky swallows thickly and looks down at his lap. “You’re not gonna leave me, right? This isn’t gonna fuck us up?”
He feels you tense against his side and begins to panic until your hand intwines with his. “Not if we promise not to let it fuck us up. You’re my best friend, Buck. I don’t wanna lose you either.”
“I promise.” Bucky squeezes your hand. “Do you?”
You squeeze his hand in return, but don’t say anything. Bucky takes the action as promise enough.
Days turn into weeks which turn into months and suddenly it’s November, fall in New York becoming winter much sooner than expected. The cold bites at your cheeks and seeps into your bones. Bucky becomes your warmth despite the constant ache in your heart at what you really are to him.
Bucky comes into your room or you sneak into his. You ignore the looks from your friends when you all go out and don’t heed to any of Wanda’s advice.
The lines are blurred to you, because it feels like you’re in a relationship. It’s almost like you’ve fallen into one naturally. It’s not just secret sex in the middle of the night. It’s all your normal things, reading together on Sundays and watching your favorite show together Saturday nights. Only now it’s started to include footsie and make-out sessions.
There are some nights the two of you go out, whether it to be to dinner or to see a new movie, and they feel like dates. Bucky never lets you pay and holds your hand in the theater.
You almost want to ask him Why. Why aren’t we official? Why can’t you call me your girlfriend? But you’re far too afraid. For every small gesture that feels like love, there are nights out with your friends where Bucky ignores your existence or awkward introductions to coworkers you run into at the movie theater.
Life moves on though. Day by day. Even if feels like you’re on a train moving full steam ahead towards a wall and impact is inevitable.
It’s nice to have a taste of what it could be like to have him.
It blows up on a Thursday night, at eight thirty-two pm, to be exact.
Bucky didn’t feel like cooking, he was relieved when you had suggested going out to grab dinner, but now he just wishes the two of you had stayed home.
There’s a tense and awkward silence as the two of you walk home. You’re about ten feet in front of him and not talking at all, it honestly looks more like he’s some creep following you home at this point. If he weren’t so upset he would probably laugh at the scene.
If Bucky had just kept his mouth shut.
“Oh my god.” You groan, slouching down in your seat and covering your face with your hands. “Fuck.”
Bucky looks between you and the entrance of the restaurant confused by your sudden annoyance. “What’s wrong?” He asks leaning towards you.
“I went to high school with that girl.” You whisper. “We were friends until I stole her boyfriend.” You roll your eyes.
Bucky chokes on his drink mid-sip. “You stole her boyfriend? Right on! I didn’t know you had that in you.” He laughs, completely shocked by the idea of a you in high school who steals guys when all he’s ever known is the sweet, loyal girl.
“I didn’t actually steal her boyfriend!” You hiss. Bucky notices the girl do a double take when her eyes catch on you. “He broke up with her and asked me to prom two weeks later so she assumed I stole him. She hated me and made the last few months of senior year absolute shit for me.” You explain slipping further into your seat before taking a heavy sip of wine.
“Incoming.” He chuckles as she makes a beeline for your table. You sit up ramrod straight when her hand lands on your shoulder and your name comes out in a fake giggle.
“Eliza.” Your smile is equally as fake as you stand up to offer her a quick hug. “How are you?” Bucky watches with amused eyes as Eliza launches into a story about her boyfriend, who’s watching the scene with bored eyes from across the restaurant.
He smiles awkwardly when the two of you turn to face him. “This is my boyfriend, Bucky.” You smile tightly at the woman and Bucky watches uncomfortably as she trails her eyes over him. “Really?” Eliza asks.
“Just friends, actually.” Bucky can’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth with an awkward laugh.
Your eyes narrow at him before they flicker away. Bucky watches in what feels like slow motion as your shoulders hunch in and you close yourself off, absolutely embarrassed as Eliza turns to you with a proud smirk. “Is that right?” Her tone is nasty and Bucky is filled with regret immediately, but there’s nothing he can do because you’re grabbing your purse and jacket and storming away.
Eliza smiles at him. “She’s always been one for the dramatics.” Bucky shakes his head as he pulls out some bills and leaves them on the table, moving the chase after you. “Thanks.” He says to the woman sarcastically as he pushes past her.
That had lead him here, trailing after you silently, as you fume from a distance. “Sweetheart, come on.” Bucky pleads. The words make you freeze and spin around to face him.
Bucky stumbles backwards as you walk towards him with fury in your eyes and your finger pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t call me that.”
“I’ve always called you sweetheart,” Bucky frowns. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just-”
“You didn’t embarrass me, James.” Bucky flinches as you spit out his first name like it’s poison. “You humiliated me. Was it really that big a deal? That I introduced you as my boyfriend? Does the idea of dating me disgust you that much?”
Bucky throws his hands out in front of him in a defensive gesture. “No! I just... We’re not dating. You know that!” He shakes his head. “I mean, dating you doesn’t disgust me... I just... You know?”
You raise your eyebrows at him. “No. I don’t know.” You say coldly. “It’s not like we’re not dating. You have to see that.”
“See what?” Bucky asks, completely exasperated. “We do everything we used to do and sometimes have sex.”
“Oh my god!” Your laugh sounds manic as you pause and look up at the sky like you’re searching for an answer. “Have you ever thought that maybe we weren’t ever just friends, Bucky? That we didn’t act like normal best friends do?” You cross your arms and look back at him.
Yes. Bucky thinks immediately. “No!” He swallows. “I’ve always seen you as my best friend! Never... Never...” He’s dug himself a deeper and deeper hole every time he’s opened his mouth, but this is the nail in his coffin. He says your name gently, but you’re already backing away, hurt all over your face.
“I guess I read everything wrong then.” You say quietly. “These stupid dates and us falling asleep together at night. All the holding hands and cuddling, right?” Your voice is filled with wet emotion and Bucky is sure if it wasn’t so dark outside he would see tears brimming your eyes. “You do that with all your friends. I mean nothing.”
“That’s not what I said!” Bucky exclaims. “You know you’re one of the most important women in my life. Please. Don’t do this.” He pleads.
“I’m done. Okay? This stupid benefits thing? These friend dates, Sunday mornings together, movies? Done with all of it.” You hiss. You suck in a deep breath, like you’re preparing to deliver the final blow. Bucky braces himself. “You wanna be just friends? I’ll do you one better, we can be just roommates. That way there’s no confusion.”
Bucky can only stand still, watching as you walk away.
Wanda has a kind enough heart to not say I told you so, when you show on her doorstep with mascara running down your cheeks. She just pulls you inside by your arm and wraps her softest blanket around your shoulders.
“What happened?” She places a cup of tea on her coffee table in front of you. You can vaguely hear Vision trying to move around in the kitchen as quietly as possible. There’s an unspoken question that lingers in the air. What did Bucky do?
You sniffle. “We ran into Eliza tonight.” Wanda’s eyes widen and you nod. “I… I introduced Bucky as my boyfriend. It just slipped out, but he totally panicked and corrected me right to her face. I was so humiliated, I bolted.”
Wanda takes the seat beside you on the couch. “That’s awful. I can’t believe that idiot,” she hisses the word, “couldn’t put aside his dumb fears for five seconds and just have your back.”
You rub your eyes harshly. “That’s not the worst part of the night. I think the worst part was when he reiterated we were just friends and that he’s never seen me as anything more than that.”
Wanda’s mouth drops open in shock and you can even hear Vision murmur something along the lines of oh shit in the kitchen.
“Good way to get hurt, huh?” You reiterate Wanda’s words from weeks ago and her face falls into a look a pity. “I’m so stupid. Why did I even agree to doing benefits with him?”
“We all do dumb things when we love someone.” She says soothingly as she rubs her hand across your back. “I know this hurts, but look at the silver lining. Now you can move on, for real. Bucky’s made his intentions clear and you can find someone better.”
You look at her sadly. “What if there isn’t someone better?” You almost choke on your own breath as you talk through your tears. “What if no one makes me feel that way?”
Wanda shakes her head and reaches up to grip your chin between her fingertips. It forces you to look into her blazing eyes. “Bucky’s nothing more than a man with commitment issues. We’re in New York City, there are millions of them. And for every Bucky, there’s a…a…”
“Vision.” You offer up with a teasing smile. Wanda blushes, but nods. “There’s a Vision. And yours is out there, he was just waiting for Bucky to fuck up.”
You let out a choke laugh. “Yeah…” You trail off. “Can I crash here? I don’t think I can-“
“-Of course.” Wanda cuts you off. “For as long as you need.”
Bucky doesn’t even want to go inside. He just stands outside his apartment door staring blankly at the lock. It doesn’t feel like home without you there.
You haven’t been home in three days and if it weren’t for your instagram stories with Wanda and Vision, Bucky would think you were dead.
You haven’t reached out at all, he isn’t sure if you had come by the apartment to grab personal things and when he had asked the guys if they had heard from you, Steve had just given him an I told you this would happen lecture.
Bucky feels like a fucking idiot. Bucky is a fucking idiot. He shoves his key into the lock with a sigh.
“Bucky?” A voice calls out. It makes him freeze in the doorway. It’s your voice. He’s sure it is. Nobody else had a key to the apartment. You pop out of the kitchen with a smile. “It is you!”
Your demeanor has done a complete flip. There’s no harsh stare or fiery eyes, just smiles. It leaves his head spinning. For the past three days he’s been trying to figure out how to make things better and you’re…fine?
“He…hey.” He pushes the word out. “Um. What are you doing here?”
Your brows furrow. “I live here?” You laugh softly before turning back into the kitchen. Bucky follows you dumbly, completely awestruck by your sudden reappearance.
“I thought… I thought you were mad at me?” He asks hesitantly.
“I was. Now I’m not.” You shrug. You move around the kitchen easily, putting groceries away that Bucky hadn’t even noticed with his entire focus on you.
He moves towards you. “Sweetheart-“
You interrupt him with your name and suddenly the fire is back in your eyes. Oh. This isn’t Bucky’s best friend coming back into his life.
It’s his roommate coming back home.
Just like you had promised.
Bucky tries to catch you some days. He’ll tilt his head in an attempt to force your eyes to meet his while you talk about nothing after he gets home from work.
You always avoid them, terrified one look into the blue you’ve loved for so long and you’ll crumble at his feet. You chatter about nothing important, the weather outside and your neighbor upstairs who always stomps around at four in the morning.
Bucky always listens intently and you begin to feel a little guilty for cutting him out completely. You just needed some time to get over him, then one day you could come home and watch Law and Order with him again and cook dinner together.
But for now, you pretend he’s nothing more than a roommate and like you’re not desperately in love with him.
It’ll work. It has to work.
Your name is like honey coming from Steve’s lips. He’s got a kind smile on his face as he hands over your coffee. He had slipped behind you in line at the coffee shop with a sheepish hello.
“You didn’t have to do that.” You say softly as you take it from him. “I can pay for my own coffee.” You can see the ingredients scribbled onto the side of his paper cup and it makes you smile into your sip.
Steve Rogers had a sweet tooth.
“Day off? Or just a break?” You hold the coffee shop door open for him to follow you out onto the street. Steve gives you a thankful smile.
“Break. I’m heading back to the office now.” He takes a sip of his drink. There were two weeks left of November and the streets of New York were doing their annual flip. Christmas lights going up too early and gloomy skies overhead.
You walk beside him, one hand shoved into your pocket. “Mind if I walk with you? I’m off today and I am so bored just sitting around the apartment.”
“Not at all!” Steve answers quickly. There’s a slight flush on his cheeks that you attribute to the wind nipping at both your cheeks. “I could use the company of someone other than corporate lawyers.”
You laugh at his dramatic eye roll. “You know most of your friends work at that firm.” Steve gives you an unapologetic smile. “Two friends and I can admit they can both be dicks sometimes.”
He looks at you like he knows something and you swallow, turning to look straight ahead of you. “I disagree.” You finally say after a moment. He looks down at you with furrowed eyebrows. “Sam is always a sweetheart.”
That startles a laugh out of Steve, who looks at you with a shine in his eyes. He shakes his head and looks down at the sidewalk in front of him. “You okay? I know that-“
“-I’m fine.” You cut him off. You look up at him with a half smile. “And we don’t have to talk about it. In fact, let’s not.” You force out a laugh and Steve nods slowly.
You end up walking the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Steve has a reassuring presence, something you don’t think you’ve ever even realized until now. Warmth radiates off of his body and his eyes give everything he feels away. Steve is a good apple. At least that’s what your grandmother would say if she had met him.
“This is me.” Steve says softly as he slows to a stop outside the corporate building. If you look around you’ll notice every building near by looks almost exactly the same. “Thanks for walking with me.” He says softly with a nervous smile.
You smile back. “Thanks for buying me coffee.” You hold it up towards him as if to show him. “And for letting me tag along.”
Steve shakes his head. You’re sure he has to get back to work soon, you know their days are usually full and small breaks like this were just that - small. “You don’t have to thank me. I… I like hanging out with you. You’re cool.” He scrunches his nose up when he realizes what he’s just said but you giggle.
“Cool?” You ask with a teasing smile. Steve looks down at his feet with red dusting his cheeks. “I think you’re cool too.” The words are soft as you nudge his boot clad foot with yours.
Steve looks up with bright eyes. “Yeah?” You nod and he smiles to himself. “We should… We should hang out more.” He suggests hesitantly.
Your eyes widen as you look at him. Steve looks about two seconds away from being sick with nerves and it’s sweet. Completely and utterly tooth rottingly sweet that someone is this nervous around you. Your heart picks up at him wanting to hang out more.
“Like dates?” You question quietly. Steve turns a bright shade of right and you’re reminded of Bucky blurting his secret out weeks ago. “I would like that.” You don’t give him a chance to respond to your first question.
He smiles so bright that you’re blinded by it. “Yeah?” You nod with a small smile. “Yeah. Now go back to work!” You shove his shoulder lightly which makes him laugh. “You have my number.”
He’s nodding happily as he backs away. “I do! I’ll text you?”
“Please!” You laugh as he pushes through the glass doors backwards, almost running over a women. He smiles awkwardly at her before facing you once again. You wave as he disappears into the crowd of people.
When he’s out of sight you let out a sigh. He was kind and incredibly endearing. Steve was a man every woman would be lucky to date. Why did you feel so guilty for flirting then?
You know why.
You ignore it.
Bucky watches with pursed lips from his spot by the front desk as you and Steve chat outside. He tries his best to read lips, but your both standing at an angle that makes it near impossible.
“You’re not creepy at all.” The voice makes him jump and he turns to look at Sam, leaning against the opposite side of the reception desk. Martha, the woman who runs the desk, looks between them in amusement. “Steve is some kind of psychic, huh?” He snorts.
Bucky turns his glare onto Sam. “It’s not my fault they’re out there for everyone to see.” He snaps before turning his eyes back on the scene in front of him.
Sam laughs loudly and Bucky watches his Steve embarrasses himself by running into a girl leaving the building. He would feel better about it, if he couldn’t see you smiling brightly at the man.
Bucky loves Steve, but he wants nothing more than to punch him in the face for not staying away from you. Even though Bucky is fully aware you’re both adults with minds of you own, he had never imagined Steve would actually sweep you off your feet.
When Steve makes his way towards Sam and Bucky, Sam has got a cheesy smile on his face and Bucky can do nothing but glare. “Got myself a date, boys.” He smacks a hand against Bucky’s back.
“It’s like… She was run right into my arms.” He smirks before making his way towards the elevator. Sam follows behind Steve with another loud laugh.
Bucky is left standing in the lobby alone. He watches your form retreat across the street and sighs. He had made a mess of things, huh?
You can’t get the dress to zip up all the way. You’ve tried a multitude of angles, from pulling the dress up and trying to reach it over your shoulder to almost breaking your arm at an awkward angle.
You sigh in defeat as you stand in front of your mirror. You can hear Bucky in his room across the hall, music playing a little too loud and his footsteps around the room. He’s got his cleaning playlist on, it forces a small smile to appear on your face.
You suck in a deep breath. Roommates helped each other with zippers. It was normal, Bucky could help you with a zipper.
“Bucky.” You knock softly on his door. There’s no answer, he probably can’t hear anything over the music. You knock harder. “Bucky?” The music stops and you suck in a nervous breath.
His door flies open and his eyes widen when he sees you standing in the half zipped dress. His eyes narrow. “What’s up?”
Your fingers fidget in front of your stomach as you look at him nervously. “Can you… Can you help me zip the rest of the way? I just can’t get it.” You admit sheepishly.
Bucky nods. “Turn around.” He orders softly and you do as he says. His fingers find the zipper stuck halfway up your back and your breath hitches. You think you hear his do the same as he begins to pull it up slowly.
It’s a tense silence as his hands rest on your back for a second too long. When he drops them back to his side, you turn to look at him. He shuts his eyes tightly and sighs. “Listen. About what happened-“
There’s a knock at your door that makes you step away. You look at Bucky apologetically. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.” You take a few stumbling steps away.
You feel his eyes on you as you move through the apartment and collect your purse and jacket. When you open the door, Steve is standing there with flowers and it makes you pause.
Bucky’s bedroom door slams shut when you pull the flowers into your own hand. His music starts playing again as you get them into water. You and Steve smile awkwardly at each other.
When Steve’s hand lands on your lower back to guide you out of the building, all you can think is Bucky’s hands there earlier, warmer and somehow softer, you try to ignore how wrong it feels.
You were moving on. It would get better.
Bucky’s pathetic. That much he knows. Four drinks in and he’s missing you desperately. All he can think about is Steve’s hand on your back and how you look in that red dress.
Did you know it was Steve’s favorite color? Is that why you had worn it? He had seen the black lace of your bra underneath when zipping the dress for you, had you worn that on purpose too?
He feels like he’s hit rock bottom. Like it can’t get worse than this. His best friend on a date with his other best friend who he wasn’t talking to anymore because he wanted a friends with benefits thing.
I had other friends, he thinks. Friends who I could stand to lose. Why did I want her? Why did I do that?
Annoyingly enough, Steve’s voice is what answers him. You’re in love with her. The words make Bucky jolt up in his seat because, well, he’s never thought that before. He’s always known he loved you in a platonic sense and that he cared for you deeply, but being in love with you?
That can’t be it. Bucky didn’t really do being in love. He’s seen what that does to people. He saw what it did to his mother, heartbroken and left with two kids to raise on her own. He’s seen what heartbreak has done to Becca, who used to lock herself away in her room and spend hours crying over boys who weren’t worth it.
He snorts to himself, taking another sip of his drink. They say you can only go up from from rock bottom. Bucky thinks he’s got some kind of special ability to go lower though as he stares at his phone.
He wants to text you and beg you to come home. He calls his mom instead. “Ma?” He asks quietly when she picks the phone up. “It’s Bucky.”
“I have caller ID. I know.” She lets out a laugh. “What’s up? You sound upset, my love.” She asks gently.
“I fucked up, Ma.” Bucky admits after a moment of silence. “I…”
“What’s wrong? What happened?” She sounds panicked and Bucky immediately feels bad for worrying her.
“No I mean, like, with Y/N. I fucked up with her.” He explains. His mother inhales sharply at the sound of his best friends name.
“What happened?” She asks softly, almost knowingly.
“We… I… I’m not meant for relationships? You know? Love? It always ends bad so I told her we could just be friends with some benefits.” He feels a little embarrassed sharing this with his mother, but he doesn’t have anybody else to turn to. “And I fucked it up. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.” Bucky can admit that he blurred the lines. That he didn’t treat you like just a friend, but when had he ever? You’d always been a little closer than normal friends.
“Oh Bucky.” His mother murmurs, her tone isn’t disappointed, just sad. “I’m so sorry your father did this to you.” Bucky rubs a hand over his face. “Ma-“
“-No, Bucky. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see the value of romantic love. Of love that keeps you warm and love that makes your heart race.” She says quietly.
“It always ends in heartbreak. I don’t need it.” He says defensively. It’s silent, Bucky listens to his mom breathe before finally whispering, “What if I’m like him? What if I ruin her life?”
“Oh sweetheart, you’re nothing like him.” Her voice cracks. “You’re good. You’re a good man. You’re empathetic. You care deeply. You don’t have to be afraid of ending up like him, you’ve already proven you won’t.”
“Doesn’t feel like that.” Bucky lets out a short laugh. “Feels like I already am.”
“James Buchanan Barnes. I am not going to sit here and listen to you talk about yourself like this. You’re not like him because you see what you’ve done wrong. Because you feel remorse.” She says heatedly. “Your father never felt bad for what he did or who he hurt, that’s what makes you different. That’s what makes you better.”
Bucky wipes hastily at the tears that he hadn’t realized were falling down his cheeks until now. Has he always been this much of a light weight? Full of emotion and regrets that are only amplified by his drunkenness.
“I love that girl like she’s my own.” His mother’s voice brings him back. “So, what are you gonna do to fix this? I already bought her Christmas present.”
Bucky laughs. His chest feels a little lighter. “Leave her alone.” He answers genuinely. He can almost see his mother’s mouth open in protest. “She’s on a date with Steve. I can’t ruin that for either of them.”
There’s a sigh on the other end of the line. “You’re a good man, Bucky. Every good man makes mistakes. It’ll all work out.” She says vehemently.
“I love you, ma. Thank you.” Bucky looks at the bottle in front of him. “I love you too. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She asks gently. “Okay.” He nods as she hangs up.
Her words help, but he’s still filled with guilt as he thinks of you. He had never wanted things to become this messed up with you. The last thing he wanted was for you to hate him.
Then why’d you do it? Bucky pulls at his hair. Since when was his subconscious so annoying? Was it the drinks? It’s your voice next. I mean nothing to you?
“No. Shut up.” Bucky says to himself before standing up, his knee knocking against the coffee table painfully. He groans, but doesn’t stop moving. He feels like he’s going to be sick. He is going to be sick, he realizes as he forces the bathroom door open.
He throws up. He’s not sure if it’s from the drinks or this overwhelming feeling of pure angst in his chest. A feeling that makes his lungs constrict and his heart ache.
He briefly wonders if this is heartbreak. And if it was, did that mean Steve was right? Bucky loved you?
He makes it back to the couch and starts a random movie in an attempt to stay up and wait for you. To talk or something. He was so, so sick of not talking to you.
But he falls asleep less than fifteen minutes later and he doesn’t hear you step into the apartment.
“I had a really nice time tonight.” You say quietly. It’s almost midnight and you’re sure your neighbors wouldn’t appreciate you waking them up. “Thank you for taking me out.”
Steve stuffs his hands into his jacket pocket and gives you a grin. “Thanks for letting me take you out.”The two of you look at each other before breaking eye contact with awkward laughs. “We should do this again.”
You nod. “We should!” You lean up and press a kiss to his cheek before turning towards your door. “I’ll see you later, Steve.” You say softly before pushing the door open.
Steve gives you a short wave with a happy smile. “See you.” He begins to back away, down the hallway. “I’ll just.” He jabs a thumb over his shoulder before spinning around to walk straight.
You laugh silently to yourself as you finally step into your apartment and shut the door behind you. With your eyes shut tightly, you lean your back against the door and let out a sigh.
Your silence is disturbed by a groan and your eyes shoot open. Bucky’s laying on the couch, one arm hanging off and a bottle of whiskey sitting almost completely empty in front of him.
“Oh, Bucky.” You let out a sad sigh as you drop your purse and keys on the entryway table. His eyes are squeezed shut, you can tell he’s in a deep sleep.
When you stand in front of him, you push the stray hairs that are stuck to his sweaty forehead back. He’s flushed and you don’t know exactly how much he’s had to drink, but he was definitely drunk. You allow your nails to trace over his cheekbones and jawline in admiration.
You move away, suddenly aware of what you’re actually doing. You move quickly, picking up the empty glass and whiskey bottle and moving towards the kitchen. You leave the glass in the sink and stuff the bottle back into your drinks cabinet.
You think of just going back to your room, but you know you can’t leave Bucky shivering on the couch. You grab a clean glass and fill it with water before placing it on the coffee table in front of you. You pull out your travel Advil from your purse and sit it next to glass. His favorite blanket is draped over the back your lounge chair. You pull it off and drape it over him gently. Bucky snuffles then turns so his face is pressed into the couch.
You look down at Bucky again before leaving him in the room.
It’s like there’s a shift between you and Bucky after your date with Steve. You’re kinder and you seem to be more open with him again, while all Bucky wants to do is hide away in his room.
Every time you sit across from him in the living room or join him for dinner, he feels panic rise in him like vile and he ends up sitting tensely beside you.
Because you’re figuring your shit out. You want to be friends with Bucky again while Steve takes you out every weekend. It’s perfect. Going swimmingly, really.
Except, Bucky is falling apart. Every time you go out with Steve he makes himself sick thinking about what you’re doing. He’s stuck in this constant cycle of why does it hurt so much and you love her you love her you love her.
He just wants to scream so what? Even if he did love you, what did it matter? It’s not like it would change anything. You had never told him you loved him, you had only been angry because he had given you mixed signals. Now, you had moved on to someone easy, someone without commitment fears and who didn’t give you mixed signals.
So, even if he did love you, why would he say anything. Why would he ruin something good for you? He wanted to prove his mother right. He was better than his father, and he wouldn’t ruin something good for you. Not when he was the one who had driven you away. Sick sense of irony, the way this worked out.
You’re trying. You can tell Bucky is too. As you come further out of your shell again, he sticks to staunch boundaries and has ceased all of his old affectionate gestures. You know it makes sense and it’s for the best. Even if it does nothing but remind you of what you had grown used to with him before all this.
Besides, you couldn’t blame Bucky for not feeling the same way you did. Not when you had agreed to just benefits and not when you had never told him the truth.
And Steve was sweet. Steve was gentle and kind and kissed you like you mattered. He held your hand in public and introduced you as his date when you ran into people he knew.
He was good. You cared for him, a lot, and you were desperate for it to work out. For it to work out with Steve and for it to work out with Bucky.
That’s how this night started. These thoughts and a plan. A stupid fucking plan for moving on. Drinks with everyone. Wanda, Vision, Sam, Steve… Bucky.
Bucky who was talking to a redhead at the bar. Bucky who you couldn’t stop staring at as he smiled and charmed her. Your fist tightened around your glass as you watch her nails inch towards his hand.
“Another round of drinks?” Sam’s voice pulls you from your stare. You shake your head to yourself and glance around table. Everybody’s glasses are empty except yours. “I’ll go!” You offer as you drain the last of your drink quickly.
You stand up before anybody at the table can question it. “I can help you.” Steve goes to stand, but you place a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Bucky’s up there. I’m sure he’ll help!” You give him a big smile, one that he answers with furrowed eyebrows. You don’t think much of it as you spin on your heel and make a beeline for the bar.
You don’t see the look Wanda shoots you or the glance Sam and Steve share. You stop right behind Bucky and lean on the counter as you order then you tap him on his shoulder.
He spins quickly. “What’s up? Everyone okay?” He asks, his eyes shifting between you and the table of your friends.
“Yeah!” You give him a small smile. “I was sent for drinks and I didn’t realize how many there were. Think you could help?”
He glances between you and the redhead, who’s giving you a kind smile as she waits. You smile in return before looking up at Bucky again. “Please?” You tack on with a pout.
Bucky laughs. “Yeah. Whatever.” He looks down at the woman again. “You wanna join us? Promise everyone is super cool.”
Your eyes widen as the drinks are placed in front of you. She wasn’t supposed to come. This was supposed to… You pause.
This was supposed to get him away from her. Back to your side.
“Yeah!” You give her a fake smile. “You should join us, we could always use more girls.” You chuckle as you lift three glasses.
Bucky grabs the other three before looking at the woman in question. She shrugs before grabbing her own glass to follow after you two.
You hand out the glasses before taking your seat beside Steve again. He arm comes up to rest behind your chair and you can’t shake the urge to push it off.
“Guys, this is Natasha.” Bucky gestures to the woman besides him before pulling a chair out for her. “Natasha. Wanda, Vision, Steve, Sam.” He points everyone out before finishing off with you. She smiles politely at all of you. You grind your teeth as he sits beside her.
The group seems to take a liking to her right away. She laughs at Sam’s jokes and compliments Wanda’s engagement ring. You’re burning with jealously as Bucky flirts in front of all of you.
It’s wholly irrational, a sober you would know that this jealously doesn’t really make sense. Three mixed drinks in though and it feels like Bucky is doing this to hurt you.
It feels like he’s showing you what he could never do with you. He never flirted with you in front of your friends or allowed his hand to inch towards yours on the table in front of them.
Bucky was secretly affectionate with you. It was tangled feet on Sunday mornings and cuddling Saturday nights. Sex in the middle of night and… heartbreak the next morning.
So his drifting hand and charming smile directed towards Natasha is suffocating you with insecurity. What did she have?
“I’m going home.” You stand abruptly when Bucky leans towards her with a laugh. Your shaky on your feet and Steve reaches a hand out to stabilize you. Everyone looks at you with confusion. “I… I don’t feel good.”
“I’ll walk you home.” Steve stands immediately.
You shake your head. “No!” When he freezes and looks at you with hurt eyes you smile tightly. “I mean, I’m going to take a Lyft. You stay here, have fun.”
“At least let me wait with you. So you’re not in the cold alone.” He insists and you nod slowly.
You really want to be alone, to wallow in this feeling, but Steve was nice and of course he wouldn’t let you go alone.
You watch Bucky for a moment, like you expect him to say something, to offer to come with you. Like he always did, but his attention shifts back to Natasha as Steve’s arm wraps around your waist.
It’s silent as he guides you out of the bar and tense as you order the Lyft. “Fifteen minutes.” You say softly.
Steve nods and looks around the almost empty street. You open your mouth to break the awkward silence, but he beats you to it.
“What happened between you and Bucky?” He asks quietly, his hands stuffed into his jacket pocket, and his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip.
You swallow thickly. “He didn’t tell you?” You ask instead of answering the question.
“He told me you guys had a friends with benefits thing going on. Then he told me you didn’t.” He doesn’t look angry, just sad as he stares down at you. “You know Bucky, he doesn’t share a lot.”
You look down at the sidewalk, your heel scuffing against it nervously. “I don’t know. I read things wrong, I guess. I… I thought we had a chance?” Your tone is questioning and you let out a laugh in a self-deprecating manner.
“You still love him?” You eyes shoot up to meet Steve’s. You open your mouth to say something, anything, to turn this conversation around but the door opening takes your attention off of the conversation.
It’s Bucky and Natasha, laughing softly with one another. You turn away quickly and feel the vomit rise in your throat. “I’m gonna be sick.” You murmur before throwing up all over Steve’s shoes. He grimaces and takes a step back as the couple turns around at the sound of you.
Bucky calls out your name. You can’t look up, instead you drop to the ground and sit on the sidewalk ledge.“Are you okay?” Bucky kneels down beside you as you cough.
“I’m fine. You can go. Go.” You urge, unable to look up at him. Bucky doesn’t budge though, his hand coming up to push back the hairs stuck to your forehead. “Bucky. Please.” You groan.
“I’ll walk her home.” Bucky says to Steve, ignoring your pleas. “The air will do her some good and the car moving will only make her feel worse.”
Steve looks between you two hesitantly. “I don’t know, I can take her.” You still feel nauseous, especially at the idea of Steve who you’re pretty sure just broke up with you wanting to keep you away from Bucky for your comfort.
When you look up, Natasha is standing behind Bucky with worried eyes. You feel tears gather in the corner of your eyes as they move to Bucky. He smiles gently, his hand still resting against your cheek. “Let me walk you home, sweets.”
The nickname makes your heart soar. Months of nothing but your first name and you feel like you’re floating at the sound of it. “Okay.” You nod, your hand coming up to rest on his. “Okay.” You pull out your phone to cancel the Lyft.
He helps you stand. “I’ll see you.” He says apologetically to Natasha. She doesn’t look upset, in fact she smiles at him like she knows something you two don’t. “I’ll let you know when we get home.” He says to Steve, who nods before following Natasha inside.
You feel flushed and hot all over. A horrible mixture of drinks, jealously and nausea settling in your stomach. It makes you horribly dizzy and you’re forced to lean against Bucky heavily for support.
“One step at a time, sweets.” Bucky says softly, his metal arm wrapped tightly around your waist.
“Almost there.” Bucky exhales a deep breath as he all but carries you towards the couch. He’d given up on getting you down the hall, you had pretty much become dead weight and getting you down the hall to the apartment had taken a lot out of Bucky. “Few more steps, sweets.”
Bucky’s cheeks are red and his entire body is warm. It’s been so long since he’s been this close to you and he can’t help but feel his heart grow as you latch onto him.
“Easy. Easy.” He murmurs as he sits you down gently on the couch. You mumble incoherently as you head lands on the back of the couch.
He pulls away from you and pulls his phone out. Sorry to leave you, maybe we can catch up another time?
Maybe. As friends, of course.
Bucky glances at you before looking back down at his phone, he begins to type but another message pops up quickly.
I saw the way you looked at her, I don’t think you’re looking for a girlfriend! It’s okay :)
Bucky leaves the phone sitting on the coffee table as he focuses his attention back on you. You open your eyes and look at him sadly. “What’s wrong with me?” You ask quietly.
“Nothing.” Bucky responds immediately, his hand reaching out for your cheek. The moan of relief you let out at the coolness of his metal appendage goes straight through Bucky. “Nothing is wrong with you.” He forces his voice to stay steady.
He takes a seat next to you on the couch and drops his hand back to his lap. While you stare at the carpeted floor, Bucky’s eyes trail over you. He takes in the skin tight pants and soft sweater. The way your legs look makes him swallow thickly. You were beautiful and Bucky loved you.
The thought makes him pause, but it doesn’t scare him nearly as much as he thought it would. He did. He loved you. He knew looking at you now that the months of questioning it and then trying to make himself believe it was just as a friend as you dated Steve, was all in vain. He loved you. Maybe he had loved this whole time.
You look up at him suddenly, like you can hear his thoughts, and Bucky is frozen in his spot. You move towards him slowly and he can’t do anything but watch.
You crawl into his lap and Bucky’s hands immediately rest on your waist to hold you steady. “What… What’re doing?” He can’t hide the shock in his tone. He has to hold back a moan as your hands come up to run through his hair. You left yanks gently at the hair on the back of his head to force him to look up at you and Bucky is unable to stop the moan from slipping out then.
You smile down at him cheekily. “Want you to fuck me.” Your already slurred words are murmured, so Bucky almost doesn’t understand you. “It’s been so long, Buck.” You grind down and he chokes on his own spit, not expecting his night to end like this.
“You gotta stop, sweets.” His grip on you waist tightens in an attempt to halt your movements. “You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing.” He says, looking back up at you.
Your hands rest on his shoulders and you shake your head. “I know I hated seeing you with her. I hate not having you. Please, I miss you.” You whisper pleadingly.
The words pain Bucky. “I miss you too, but you don’t want this.” He gently pushes you off of his lap and back onto the couch cushions beside him.
Your head falls to your hands while your elbows rest against your legs. “Why don’t you want me?” You look back up at him with wet eyes. Bucky freezes. Is that what you thought? That he didn’t want you?
“Sweetheart, you have no idea how much I want you.” He admits, reaching out to pull your hands away from your face completely. You shake your head and pull yourself away from him.
“If you wanted me you wouldn’t have flirted with her all night. In front of me. In front of our friends.” Bucky looks at you with wide eyes. How could you be upset with him over that when you had gone with Steve? When you had been dating Steve?
“You’re with Steve.” He reminds you. “Am I supposed to not flirt with other people? You told me we were just roommates. We’re barely even friends!” He exclaims.
“No! I told you that because you hurt me.” You wipe tears off of your cheeks. “You… You made me feel like I was something to you then told me I was just a fuck. I was hurt.” You explain. “God, you- I loved you so much and you just - just-“
“You love me?” Bucky cuts you off. He knows you’re drunk, but the words make his heart race. He feels his eyes soften as he stares at your form.
The tears gathered in your eyes begin to fall down your cheeks as you shake your head hastily. “Loved you. I loved you. But you didn’t love me, so I moved on.”
Bucky didn’t know it was possible to physically feel your heart break, but here he was, his heart cracking painfully as you look away from him.
“I’m so tired.” You whisper. “Why could you flirt with her in front of all our friends? Why… Why was I a dirty secret?”
Bucky doesn’t know what to say to you. Doesn’t know how to explain to you that he wasn’t afraid of losing her the way he was you. He didn’t know her at all, he certainly didn’t know her the way he knew you.
“We should get you to bed.” Bucky stands abruptly. His hands come down to hold your arms gently as he helps you stand. “We can talk in the morning.”
You allow him to pull you up, it looks like you’ve given up on furthering the conversation. Bucky picks you up bridal style to carry you down the hall.
Your arms rest loosely around his neck. “Steve broke up with me.” You say as Bucky drops you onto your mattress. “He knows about us. He doesn’t want someone who… who…” You trail off before falling into a fit coughs.
“We’ll talk in the morning.” Bucky says softly, his fingers trailing over your cheeks. “I promise, sweetheart.” You already have a water bottle on your nightstand, so Bucky searches your vanity for Advil.
He leaves two pills beside the bottle. You’re already dozing off, your eyes fluttering shut, so Bucky leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. When he goes to pull back, your hand shoots out and wraps around his wrist. “Stay. Please.” You whisper.
Bucky hesitates for a second before nodding and sitting beside you on the bed as he pulls his shoes off. His heart races as he moves to lay beside you and he feels flushed as you curl into his side.
He allows himself to relax with you in his arms. It had been so long since you’ve been beside him like this and Bucky lets himself feel love as you do.
Is this what he had been afraid of the entire time?
You wake up hot, nauseous and with a pounding headache.
And something wrapped tightly around you. When you open your eyes fully, the first thing you see is a metal arm wrapped tightly around your waist. You groan when your eyes trail up and the sunlight streaming in from your window hits you.
A deeper groan is returned and it makes you freeze. You rack your brain for what happened last night, but all you could remember was getting sick outside the bar and Bucky taking you home. Had you said something? Had he?
You turn over in his arms and look up at him. His eyes are still closed and he’s letting out steady, soft breaths.
“Bucky.” You whisper, your hand coming up to rest against his chest. “Bucky, wake up.” You say a little louder.
His eyes snap open and immediately he pulls away from you. “Shit. Sorry. I’m sorry. You… You…” He sots up and rubs a hand over his face.
“I don’t… What happened? I just remember you walking me home.” You sit up slowly. You’re still wearing your leggings and the sweater from last night. You groan. “I’m sorry I took you away from…” He shakes his head.
“It’s okay. I offered. You asked me to stay when I got you into bed, I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable.” His apology is sincere and you suck in a deep breath.
“It’s okay. I don’t… You know I don’t mind falling asleep with you.” Neither of you move or say anything, just sit on opposite sides of your bed in awkward silence. “I-“
“I love you.” Bucky blurts effectively cutting you off. Your eyes widen and your pulse quickens as you stare at him. You had not been expecting that. “And… I’m sorry it took all of this. Not being friends, Steve, drinks, for me to realize, but I do. I think I’ve always loved you, I just… I didn’t know it.”
You shake your head as you try to process what he’s saying. “I don’t… I don’t understand. Where is this coming from?”
“I… Seeing you with Steve. I didn’t… It killed me inside.” Bucky admits.
“And you think that means you love me?” You spit out. “You said it yourself, Bucky Barnes doesn’t do relationships.” You shake your head. “You’re just jealous because you don’t have my attention anymore.”
“That’s not true.” Bucky says adamantly. He turns his body on the bed so it’s facing you. “It made me realize I love you. It made me realize my favorite time of the day is when I get to spend time with you. That our Sundays spent reading and Saturdays watching Law and Order were always better than bars or parties because I was with you. I… I want to do the relationship things with you. Holding hands, just sleeping together. Telling people you’re my girlfriend.”
You stare at him tearfully. “How do you know it’s love? That you didn’t just miss me?”
“I know what it’s like to miss you. This feeling? This warmth in my chest when you’re around and the ache there when you’re gone? That’s not missing you. I...” He pauses. “I love you. And It’s okay if you don’t feel the same anymore-“
“-Anymore?” You question. Your eyes squeeze shut as you headache gets worse. “Bucky, what-“
“You told me you loved me last night. You were drunk, I know, but-“
“Fuck.” You laugh to yourself as you take in everything he has said. Pieces of last night come flashing back to your mind. Crawling into Bucky’s lap, crying, admitting you had loved him. “Oh God.” You groan, rubbing your hands over your face.
“Bucky you don’t have to-“ You shake your head. “You don’t have to try and make this something it isn’t because you feel bad.”
“I’m not.” Bucky reaches a hand out to rest on your back. “What can I do to make you believe me?”
You look over at him. “Prove it.”
Steve meets him for coffee later that morning. You’re out with Wanda for Sunday brunch and Bucky is on his final stop of his apology tour.
“Hey.” Steve looks up from his phone and smiles at Bucky. “Can I sit?” Bucky motions to the chair across from him and Steve nods.
Steve pushes a black coffee over to Bucky, whose nose scrunches up at the scent. Fair, Bucky thinks. “What’s up?” Steve asks quietly. “You missed our run this morning.”
Bucky looks down at the table. “I had some stuff to deal with. You know with-“ Bucky cuts himself when Steve nods. “Listen, I wanted to say I’m sorry. Shit was never supposed to get this messed up.”
Steve shrugs. “You tell her?” He gives Bucky a knowing smile. “That you love her?”
Bucky gives him a small smile in return. “I did. Yeah.” He taps his fingers against the table. “She’s got some, uh, trust issues with me. But it makes sense. We’re gonna take it slow.”
“I’m happy for you, Buck.” Steve admits after taking a sip of his drink. “I was never mad or angry with you. I always knew she still cared for you and I think I always knew it would never be anything serious.”
Bucky nods. “Thanks, Steve.” He looks down at his coffee with an appreciative smile.
“Besides,” Steve smirks, “Natasha is super cool. We exchanged numbers last night after she asked about what was going on between you two.”
Bucky invites you to spend Christmas with his family. You don’t even have to think about it before you say yes. Christmases with his family were always full of warmth and love; You absolutely loved it.
You’re more excited to be here this year too, to celebrate with him in this way. As his girlfriend, you had heard him tell Rebecca over the phone when informing her of his plans to drive up to see them Christmas Eve.
You had the perfect gift for him too, well, you have a few gifts for him. Most of them could wait for Christmas with his mom and sister, but there were two you were just desperate to see his reaction to.
That’s why you slip out of his room in the early hours of the morning when the sky is still dark and everybody is asleep.
That’s how Bucky wakes up, a small, wrapped box sitting on the nightstand and you nowhere to be found. Bucky eyes the box warily before looking around the rest of his bedroom. Your suitcase is unzipped and he can tell it’s be riffled through before being shoved back into the corner os his room.
His door is pushed open quietly. “Why are you up?” His voice makes you jump and spin so your back slams against the door. Bucky has to bite back a laugh as you take a couple deep, calming breaths.
“I...I was going to wake you up.” You tip toe across the room and crawl into bed beside Bucky. You suck in a deep, nervous breath. While you and Bucky had been dating for the past few weeks, you had also been taking it slow. “For gifts.”
Bucky’s eyebrows furrow as he sits up a little straighter in bed. “Gifts? It’s five in the morning, I promise Becca and my mom are in such deep sleep we couldn’t wake them if we tried.”
Kind of what I’m banking on, you think. “No. I mean.. Our gifts, for each other.” You explain in a soft voice, before reaching over to pick up the small box you had left sitting on the nightstand. “I didn’t want to give you this in front of your family and I don’t think I can wait.” You admit a little sheepishly.
Bucky looks down at the box with a soft smile. “Just let me get one of your gifts.” He sits it down on the comforter before crawling out of the bed and moving to his suitcase. He picks up a small box, wrapped in the same gift paper his is because he had stolen your roll, and smiles up at you.
He hands it over and the two of you just stare at each other with bright, happy smiles before tearing into the wrapping paper at the same time. Your mouth drops open in shock when you open the box.
A bracelet is staring back at you. A silver band filled with charms that make you smile as you run your fingertips over each one. Your alma mater’s mascot. The Brooklyn Bridge. A bottle of wine. “Buck...” You trail off in awe. “This is beautiful.”
“Sweets.” He says the nickname gently and you look up to watch him pull the watch out of the box with a small smile. “This is...” He flips it over in his hand and his eyes widen when he notices the engraving on the back.
the best lovers start as friends.
“I love you.” He runs a finger of the engraved metal as you whisper softly, “I... I’ve loved you for so long, Buck, and having your love in return is unlike anything I could have imagined.”
Bucky drops the watch on the bed between you as he reaches across to pull you into a bruising kiss. You drop your own gift onto the bed and reach up to rest a hand on his chest.
“I love you.” Bucky pulls away to whisper the words. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He punctuates each sentence with a kiss to your skin. You giggle softly as he moves towards you and his hand settles on your waist.
“I have something else for you.” You pull away to remove the bracelet and watch from the bed. Bucky watches as you move so you’re on your knees with intrigued eyes. You smile coyly as you move to pull his shirt over your head.
Bucky lets out a low moan as his eyes trail over your body, covered in dark green lace. “What’s this?” His fingers come up to trace over the lace and leave goosebumps in their wake.
“Your second gift.” You murmur breathlessly as he fingers drift lower and lower. Bucky smirks as he leans towards you and presses a kiss to your neck, then across your collar bone until he’s trailing kisses down the valley of your breasts.
He pulls away after a moment and looks up at you questioningly. “Are you sure?”
You smile down at him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “I wouldn’t have dropped this much money on lingerie if I wasn’t sure.” His arms wrap tightly around your waist as he pulls your body flush against his.
“What did I do to deserve a gift like this?” He looks up at you with a bright smile. You run a hand through his hair. “Love me.” You answer genuinely. Red dusts Bucky’s cheeks at your words as you lean in to kiss him.
You shift so you’re straddling Bucky’s lap. “Gonna fuck me?” You murmur in question against his lips. Bucky moans against you and his hips buck up involuntarily. His hand drops from your waist to your thigh and he trails his fingertips up.
“You look so pretty, sweets.” He smirks up at you as his hand pushes the lace aside. He runs the tip of his index finger over your wet folds and you push down already wanting more from him. “Patience, sweetheart. Let me take you in. I wanna enjoy my gift.”
You moan as he begins to rub slowly against your clit. “Want you to ride my thigh first, sweets.” Bucky shifts you so your legs are straddled over his left thigh.
You moan as your clit rubs against his thigh. You pull at the waist band and his sweatpants and he helps you pull them off of his legs before situating your body back over him. “Fuck.” You let out a deep sigh as his hands land on your hips.
His eyes are dark and pupils blown as he stares at you above him. Bucky’s already hard, you can see his dick straining against his briefs. He doesn’t do more than lightly guide you by the hands on your hips, but his eyes watching you intently as you moan is enough to make your stomach twist in pleasure.
“Fuck, James.” He groans as his first name tumbles out of your mouth in a breathy moan. “You look so pretty on my thigh, sweetheart. I love watching you.”
He leans forward then, to press kisses across your breasts as you move back and forth against him. “Feels so good.” One of your hands twists in his hair and Bucky moans against your skin.
You move faster against him as you feel yourself get wetter. You moan his name like a mantra as Bucky’s hands grip you tighter and tighter.
Bucky’s hands force you to a stop. You whine at the lost of pleasure, but it’s not long before Bucky has you flipped so you’re laying on your back beneath him.
“Gonna fuck you, is that okay sweets?” He leans back to pull his shirt off and you nod hastily as your hands come up to pull at his briefs. It’s not long before you’re bare underneath him, the lace garments discarded to the floor of his bedroom.
“Gotta be quiet.” He runs his tip over you folds in a teasing manner that almost makes you moan out. Instinctively, your hips buck up with a quiet whine. His hand comes up to cover your mouth. “Don’t want Becca to hear. She’s just down the hall, sweets.”
It’s a warning and it makes heat spread through you. You’re not sure if it’s the idea that you could get caught in his childhood bedroom or the way Bucky’s voice deepens, but it makes you tired of waiting. “Please.” Your beg is muffled by his hand, but he hears it. He doesn’t wait any longer, he pushes himself all the way in and you both let out relieved moans at the feeling. “Fuck. Fuck. You always feel so good, baby.”
Your back arches into his body as he begins fucking you at a slow pace. When he seems satisfied that you won’t make too much noise, his hand moves from your mouth he rests his forearm on the pillow beside your head. “James.” It’s a whispered moan that makes his hips stutter. “Faster. Please. I’ll be quiet.” You promise, your legs wrapping around him. Bucky leans down to press a bruising kiss to your lips as he fucks into you faster. You moan into his mouth as pleasure rushes through you.
There’s something extremely intimate about the way he fucks into you, one hand holding onto your hip and another resting beside your head. It’s love, you realize when he pulls back to look at you with soft eyes. It does something to you, makes want rush through your veins and pulls the air from your lungs. “I love you.” You whisper into the space between you two, Bucky still pushing in and out of you.
“I love you.” His eyes slide shut and his head falls to nuzzle into your neck. “You look at me like that again I’m not gonna last, sweets.” He press a gentle kiss to your neck before beginning to suck harshly. You’re sure there will be a mark there tomorrow that you’ll never live down, but you can’t bring yourself to care when his tongue runs over the mark and your stomach clenches in excitement.
“Fuck. I’m so close, Bucky, please. I- I need-“ His hand is reaching between your bodies before you can spit the sentence out. His finger rubs against your clit as he quickens his pace. “Yes. Yes.” You moan, and you can immediately tell it’s too loud when Bucky freezes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You mutter, so close and desperate for him to resume his pace.
“I know, I’m close too, but we can’t wake the house up.” You throw your head back and bite down hard enough to draw blood when he resumes his movements. He’s rubbing at your already sensitive clit and fucking you quickly, it’s all too much as your stomach tightens in pleasure. “Yeah. I can feel you, baby. Come for me, please. I need to feel you.” His tone is deep and possessive in your ear.
When he slams into you hard, your orgasm washes over you. Your mouth opens in a moan that Bucky catches with a messy kiss. You can feel his hips stutter against you as he reaches his own high and releases into you.
The two of you stay like that for a moment, just breathing with each other. “Merry Christmas.” You laugh softly as Bucky pulls out and moves to grab a towel from his desk chair.
Bucky smiles as he comes to lay beside you again and wipes gently at your thighs. He pulls the comforter up so it’s wrapped around both of you again and pulls you so your head rests against his chest. “Merry Christmas.” He whispers in return.
You glance out the window and find that it’s snowing again. You’ll probably be snowed in for the next few days, but you don’t really mind, not with Bucky here and in your arms the way you’ve always wanted.
》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《
notes // this took weeks to finish and i truly hope whoever reads it through enjoys it!
my writing is free & will remain free. if you enjoy it and you have the resources, consider donating to my ko-fi :)
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Lavender, Yellow & You
Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Bucky’s journey from sleeping on the cold, hard floor to sleeping on the warm, lavender scented bed, all because of you.
Warnings/tags: a little angst if you squint, a lot of fluff, boyfriend!Bucky, extra soft!reader because that’s what Bucky deserves.
Word count: 2.4k+
A/N: please for the love of god listen to Shade Of Yellow by Griff for the whole experience, the cute lamp scenario came from there. Enjoy some soft boyfriend Bucky <3
It was like a routine by now—
He would make love to you for hours, tire you out successfully, wait for you to fall asleep and then move to the floor to sleep. He made sure to wake up before you so he can shift to the bed without you knowing anything about it.
Even though you and Bucky have been together for 7 months now, he wanted to take it slow and you understood why. He finally decided to take the relationship to the physical level 5 months later. Since then, he has spent every Saturday at your place. It’s been 2 months to that and he still couldn’t bring himself to sleep in a bed, right next to you.
As he’ll lay on the hard floor, he would pray for the nightmares to go away just for one night because he really doesn’t know what he’ll do if he gets nightmares when you’re in the same room as him. The cold against his warm skin would soothe his mind, sleep taking over him not long after.
It would be around 8am when his eyes shot open and his body jerked awake, gunshots and screams in his head from a nightmare woke him up. He quickly sat up, his eyes snapped towards your bed to make sure he didn’t wake you up
But you weren’t on the bed.
He frowned, wondering where you were when he turned to the other side, gasping when he saw you laying on the floor, curled up beside him. A pillow tucked under your head as you clutched the covers to your body.
He started to panic. He realised that you definitely knew he was sleeping on the floor and that was why you were also on the floor, next to him.
Even though the thought of you sleeping on the floor for him made his heart flutter, he was embarrassed because this is how you found out.
You found out because you woke up in the middle of the night to find your boyfriend asleep on the floor and not because he had a civilised conversation about it. Oh, he was so embarrassed.
He gently picked you up and placed you on the bed. As you stirred a little, he hoped that you wouldn’t wake up because he doesn’t know how he’ll face you after this. Thankfully, you stirred around a little before falling asleep again and he shifted to sit on the small couch in the corner of your room.
You woke up at 9am, you found yourself on the soft mattress, confused because you were pretty sure you shifted to the floor beside Bucky when you woke up in the middle of the night.
You heard the bathroom door opening when you saw him walk out, a toothbrush in his mouth as he searched for a towel. He freezed when he saw you but his shoulders relaxed when you gave him a pretty smile.
“Morning, Bucky” you said softly, your arms stretched out as you yawned.
“Hey” he said, turning around he rushed to the bathroom to wash the toothpaste out of his mouth and dried his face with the towel.
He was so prepared to talk this out with you but he was barely out of the bathroom when he heard you say,
“What do you want to have for breakfast?” You asked.
Your voice was so soft that it barely reached his ears. Bucky didn’t mind it though, he liked how you were so gentle and soft-spoken, it was peaceful.
“Pancakes?” He asked.
“Pancakes,” you nodded.
You walked to the bathroom, giving Bucky’s backside a playful spank as you walked by his side.
Bucky started to prepare the pancake mix while you brushed your teeth. He was confused as to why you didn’t question him about sleeping on the floor, he desperately wanted to clear the air, he wanted to tell you about the nightmares and why he can’t sleep on the bed, he just didn’t know how.
As you and Bucky sat around the kitchen counter, eating in peace, Bucky finally spoke up, “does your back hurt?”
You frowned, “what?”
“Your back, does it hurt?” He asked again, his palm flat on your lower back. He knew how the hard floor can be rough against the back sometimes, he knew.
“No,” you shook your head.
“You don’t have to lie to me” Bucky sighed as he finished the last of his pancakes.
“It kind of hurts but-”
Bucky didn’t hear the rest of it as he quickly got on his feet, his hands clenching and unclenching in a fist repeatedly.
“Bucky, I know, okay” you said as you got on your feet too.
“What?” He asked with a frown on his face.
You bit your lip as you fiddled with your fingers, “every time you spend your night at my place, you shift to the floor when I fall asleep”
Bucky looked away as the words fell out of your mouth.
“I know because I’ve seen you sleeping alone when sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night”
You continued when he didn’t say anything.
“I woke up last night and I was cold and I knew you were on the floor so I just- I just wanted to be next to you”
He looked up at you with wet eyes and a red nose, slowly walked back to where you were standing, he took your face in his hands and softly pressed his lips to yours.
Pulling back, he said, “I wanted to tell you but I just didn’t know how to”
You shook your head, “I know, I understand that, Bucky”
You brought his hands to your lips as you kissed his knuckles, yes, even the vibranium ones.
“We can talk about it when you feel comfortable to do so, okay?”
Bucky nodded his head, feeling thankful that you understood him even though he barely got any words out to explain himself. he was grateful for that.
“The bed just- it feels like a marshmallow, you know? Like it’s ready to swallow me whole”
You ran your fingers through Bucky’s hair as he explained why he slept on the floor. He told you about his nightmares, the softness of the bed making him feel panicked, the flashbacks to war, everything.
He was back at your place next week, spending the night with you as you sat on the floor, your back against the bed with his head in your lap.
“I understand that, a lot of veterans have that feeling, right?” you asked.
“Yes, they do,” he nodded.
“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor with you” you said slowly, watching as his face slowly turned in a frown.
“No, no, you’re sleeping on the bed” he sat up as he shook his head.
“I said no, Y/N”
You jutted your bottom lip out, your last attempt to convince him to let you sleep beside him but he wasn’t having any of it. He didn’t want you breaking your back for him.
You sighed, planting a kiss on his forehead, you climbed in your bed and Bucky laid right beside the bed, as you went to turn off your lamp, he stopped you,
“Can you keep that on” he said, “it’s dim anyway, barely gives off any light but you can turn it off if it’s gonna bother you”
You smiled as you stared down at him, “do you like the light?”
He softly nodded, “yes I- um I like it”
You watched as he slowly closed his eyes, the barely there yellow light fell on his face, the glow making his hard, manly face look so soft and young.
You smiled as you laid on your side, your hand falling down the side of the bed and touching Bucky’s shoulder. Your thumb caressing his warm skin in a soothing manner. You heard him hum in delight as sleep slowly took over you.
“I flipped my mattress today,” you said as Bucky walked inside your kitchen.
“What?” He asked as he placed the Chinese food on your kitchen counter.
“I flipped my mattress?”
“I mean, yes but why?”
“The other side of the mattress isn’t as soft as the side I sleep on right now so maybe, and this is only if you want to, maybe you can try sleeping on the bed tonight”
Bucky looked at you with a small smile, you were trying to make things better for him, he loved that about you.
After dinner, Bucky inspected your mattress and realised that yes, the bed was a little harder on this side.
He laid beside you, shifting a lot as he tried to find different positions that felt better than the previous ones.
You rested on your elbows, your face in your hands as you carefully studied his face for any reaction. You wanted to protect him, you were ready to push him on the floor if you saw any negative change in his face but you prayed it won’t go south.
“Sometimes I get erratic when I get nightmares,” Bucky whispered. He just wanted to give you a heads up.
He laid on his side, he decided that he liked it better when his whole back wasn’t flat on the mattress.
“Do you get scared?”
“Right now, I’m just scared about that feeling you get when you’re falling from a tall building in your dream, the soft mattress makes me feel like that and I hate it”
He was proud of himself for being so honest about this with you, he knew this meant that he was finally in a place where he could blindly trust you.
“If I hold you real tight, will it help?” You asked, biting your lip.
“Maybe we should test that out, doll” Bucky smiled.
Your arms automatically scooped his huge body and pulled him to your chest. His face was pressed between your breasts, hands grabbed your love handles, your chin rested on top of his head and his hair smelled like your shampoo.
“I bought some lavender scented candles, smell them” you exclaimed with a huge smile, shoving a lilac coloured candle jar up his nose.
“Oh- oh this smells good, actually”
“Right!” You beamed, “I read about how lavender helps you relax and sleep well so I thought we can light this up in the bedroom for a few hours when you’ll be staying over here”
Yes, Bucky slept just for a good hour before waking up with a nightmare the last time he stayed over and slept in your bed but he had to move to the floor again and it frustrated him more than ever so you thought it was a good idea to deal with his stress in the old fashioned way.
Bucky stopped chopping the vegetables when he heard you, heart bursting at the seams in awe. God, you loved him so much and he didn’t know how to handle it, you bought lavender scented candles for him for fuck’s sake.
He walked towards you, hands on your waist as he leaned in to peck your lips gently, “thank you”
“Anything for you, will do anything for you” you promised.
After dinner, he was engulfed in your arms, you rubbed his back up and down as the lavender scent lingered in the air and Bucky loved everything about tonight.
“Keep the lamp on” he mumbled, already half asleep in your arms.
“You really like this dim light, huh”
He hummed in agreement, his breathing slowing down to a peaceful pace. You kissed his lips one last time and pulled the covers over both of your bodies.
Bucky was so proud, he was so proud for spending one whole night on the bed with you. He didn’t wake up in the middle of the night, no nightmares but just the faint scent of lavender mixed with your vanilla body mist and your warm body pressed to his.
You even changed your shampoo to a lavender scented one and the next morning, you found Bucky’s face pressed to your pillow because he loved the scent of it. By now, both of you were sure that he was definitely a lavender boy.
He even started sleeping on the couch at his place when he wasn’t at yours. You bought him some lavender scented candles for his own place and you planned to buy him a similar lamp to the one which sits on your nightstand that he loves so damn much.
Tonight was just another night, him in your arms and the dim light of the lamp illuminated the corner of the room. You played with his dog tags as he talked for hours, about Steve and about how much he missed him and then he let you hold him close.
When his words slipped from his mouth in mumbles, you knew he was getting sleepy, your fingers continued to massage his scalp.
“Light on, got it, sarge”
He softly smiled.
“I love this shade of yellow, it’s calming” he let out a content sigh, “it makes me feel safe and sound which is rare these days”
He pulled your body closer, “you make me feel safe and sound”
You smiled, god he was so in love with you and you got so giddy just thinking about it, the happy tingles jittering all over your body.
“I’m going to buy you this exact lamp for your birthday if you love it so much” you shook your head as you giggled.
Bucky slowly opened his eyes, “or I can come running right back here to you when I miss it”
You bit your lip, your soft eyes gazing into his.
“Or maybe. . . you can bring all your stuff here and stay here every single night” you said slowly.
His eyes widened for a second as he registered your words, knowing exactly what you were asking.
“Are you- you sure, doll?” He propped up on his elbows as he looked at your face.
“Yes, I’m sure” you nodded, “want you here every single day, want you back home to me” you whimpered desperately, clutching his biceps in your small hands. You wanted to show him exactly how much you loved having him around.
Bucky smiled as he kissed you, nodding his head in agreement and you almost squealed with delight. He wanted to be back home with you every single day too.
Spending these 7 months with you, he still had a lot of things to figure out but he was absolutely sure about three things— he liked lavender scented things (especially your shampoo and the candles), his favourite colour was yellow (especially that lamp on your nightstand) and that he was truly, madly, deeply in love with you.
Can I please have one (1) fluffy, soft Bucky, pls and thxx😔
Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated <33
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bucky x reader
summary: Bucky Barnes couldn’t care less about getting home because there’s only want thing he wants, and, thanks to Sam’s favorite bumpy road, it can totally be made possible.
warnings: 18 & up only, cockwarming, fingering, public sex
word count: 1,988
author’s note: sat down to write a quick horny bucky barnes headcanon and it accidentally turned into this :))))
“I need to be in you right now.”
“Need is a strong word,” y/n whispered back to Bucky after hearing his pleading words. “I’m sure you can wait half an hour.”
“Need to feel your warmth.” She gave him a look he’d usually take as a sign to back down. “Your walls squeezing around me.” That look Bucky paid no mind, instead opting to trail small kisses along her jaw and neck. “That’s it,” Bucky assured y/n caressing her left upper thigh. “Just need you.” He stopped his actions suddenly, and for a moment y/n thought he was going to wait until they got home, but then he was pulling her onto his lap, careful enough not to wake up Natasha besides them and giving Sam a slight smile in the rearview mirror. He shook his head when Bucky placed a blanket over their forms before mumbling out you better not have sex in the car.
“We won’t.” Bucky innocently assured him, but his wandering hands told a different story. He swiftly moved them both to the side, right behind Sam’s seat, and y/n could easily feel his boner as he shifted them around to find a spot that’s both comfortable and hidden from the only awake passenger in the car. Bucky’s boner against her core was a too-good of a feeling, and y/n squirmed in his lap, feeling herself becoming aroused. “Just want to get some sleep,” he nodded his head at Natasha’s sleeping form next to them and then, “you didn’t say anything when those two fell asleep.” at Steve’s.
“They’re in separate spots.” Sam started, and Bucky shook his head yes. Y/n had to close her eyes when his flesh hand discreetly lifted up her dress and pushed her panties aside to access her slit, two wandering digits finding their way inside. Thick and long, and Bucky could feel y/n deliciously squeezing them. “No blankets to hide whatever the hell you both want to do,” Sam noted, and Bucky slowly put his hands up, a sly smile appearing on his face when his right hand’s index and middle fingers glistening with y/n’s wetness caught his attention. Except Sam was tired and annoyed and too focused on the road to notice, so he dropped the subject. “Alright.” He said, and Bucky nodded his head, quickly returning his fingers back to y/n's wet slit. He worked them in and out at an agonizingly slow pace and chuckled when y/n rubbed herself on him.
“Alright.” Bucky leaned into the seat, and y/n had to bite the inside of her cheek when his fingers curled upright and hit her g-spot. Her senses were overloading; with both the fear of getting caught and the excitement the predicament brought, all the sensations were so much better. So much more intense. A moan almost escaped past her lips when Bucky started rubbing her clit with his thumb in fast-paced circles. “Good to know we’re in the clear.” Bucky patted Sam on the shoulder with his metal arm before he was pushing his pants and boxers down enough to expose his throbbing length. Fingering y/n while getting his own clothes off was a skill Bucky mastered a few weeks after they started dating. Turns out, it was quite a useful skill. Rubbing her clit for a couple more moments, he retracted his hand right before y/n could finish and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you.” He whispered in a low, husky tone and bit her earlobe. “You know that, right?” He added.
Irritated, y/n pushed herself up with one hand while letting the other aline his dick with her opening before she sat back down. She had to fake a cough when Bucky was fully seated inside her while Bucky let out a quiet you’re so tight.
“Would’ve let me finish if you do.” She remarked, and he wrapped his hands around her waist, placing his head on her shoulder.
“This is a bumpy road.” Bucky noted when Sam accidentally hit another pothole. Closing her eyes, y/n leaned into Bucky, realizing something that has managed to slip past her. The little shit knew the exact route Sam was going to take when he pleaded to be inside her. The bumpy road through the forest Sam always takes because it’s such an amazing shortcut, guys, seriously, you save 30 minutes. She could clearly hear Tony’s usual reply and ruin the tires that I buy, though. C’mon Wilson, I have to replace them every 6 months. That road is already shitty, but it just gets worse the further you drive. Y/n has never taken Sam’s shortcut direction before this night, but Tony was right. The further Sam drove, the more potholes he hit, and 5 minutes into the forest, she was leaking all over Bucky’s cock and thighs. The tip of Bucky’s dick would slightly hit that sensitive spot inside her when Sam would occasionally drive over a bigger pothole, and she, embarrassingly, wished Sam would fail to spot more craters. Bucky was so going to be punished for this when they get home. Forget the I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk, Barnes. Y/n has already decided upon the I’ll edge you so much you’ll forget your own name, James, kind of night for when they got home.
“I’ll let you finish when we get home, doll,” Bucky whispered in her ear after a while, metal hand caressing her braless nipples through the thin satin dress. “Over and over until you’re begging me to stop.” It was as much of a torture to him as it was to y/n. Every single dip and bump and in the road meant y/n’s body would jump up slightly. The feeling of her velvety walls squeezing him so tight, so good, just in the way he loved, was both heaven and hell, and if the other three passengers were to disappear, he’d lay y/n on the backseat and fuck her until she’s sweaty and begging and the only thought she can conjure up is him. Bucky only, anything she wanted he would give, all of him. Closing his eyes, Bucky relished in the feeling of her warmth and let himself slip further into his fantasies. Perhaps he wouldn’t lay her down on the seat. No, these were expensive leather seats, and y/n was one messy girl. Perhaps he’d get her on all fours, a finger up her ass, for better grip, of course, another grasping her hip as he’d fuck into her at a relentless pace. He’d be fast and rough, just like his doll liked it.
“I don’t care,” Sam responded and locked eyes with Bucky in the rearview mirror. “It gets the job done.”
Chuckling, Bucky leaned closer to y/n’s ear and whispered “It does.” to her, his eyes still on Sam.
“You can walk home if you don’t like it.” Sam broke their eye contact and looked at the road.
“Oh, no, we like it.” Bucky kissed the spot behind y/n’s ear and took in a deep breath when Sam hit another pothole, and y/n accidentally squeezed her walls around his dick harder. “Bumpy, but efficient.”
“It is efficient!” Sam shook his head and went on a rant about Tony’s usual complaining of having to change the tires often. “The tires are fine. He probably only changes them just to brag.”
Y/n stopped listening to their conversation right after Bucky’s words of it’s bumpy, but efficient. Efficient at keeping her on edge for the last 20 minutes. Irritation mixed with anger was a strange feeling.
“Why the annoyed face, doll?” Bucky grabbed her jaw to make y/n look at him. “Something bothering you? ‘Cause I’m having a hell of a good time.” His dick throbbed right after he said the words, and it was enough to shut her up. Y/n didn’t have to say anything for Bucky to know exactly what she needed though. Running his metal hand down her chest and over her stomach, the super-soldier let it slightly brush on her clit. He wrapped his flesh arm around her waist to press her back into his chest closer than it already was. “What’s the magic word?”
“Please?” It came out louder than a whisper, but y/n didn’t care.
“Please what?” That little shit.
“Pease, daddy.” Y/n huffed out, face heating up, and turned her head to the side so she could snuggle it in the crook of his neck.
“Good girl.” Bucky pressed down on her clit, head thrown back, eyes closed. “Very good girl.” And while Bucky Barnes was a master of many things, the one thing he was exceptional at was making y/n come apart with a simple touch. Somedays, he knew her body better than she did herself. Bucky knew things such as the fact he should apply enough pressure, but no so much where it hurt. He knew he needed to rub clockwise circles to make her cum, fast, and counterclockwise to edge her, for why he had no idea himself, but he never questioned it. It was the same thing as him preferring y/n lick the veins on his cock instead of his balls or the base. Enjoyed her giving his tip more attention if she wanted to edge him and enjoyed her bob her head up and down his length while he grabbed her neck to make sure the whole thing was comfortably seated inside her mouth. The latter one was a sure way to make him cum quickly. Grabbing his thigh, y/n could feel the coil in the pit of her stomach tightening. It only took a minute or two for her orgasm to crash, y/n mouth falling open in a silent moan as she let her nails dig into Bucky’s leg. “Good girl.” Bucky whispered again. He didn’t care about chasing his own orgasm in the car because his mind was clouded by different ideas. Bucky couldn’t wait. The image of y/n bent over the kitchen counter was to be made true the second they got home. Noticing she has recovered, Bucky swiftly lifted her up, pulling his pre-cum leaking dick out of y/n, and pulled up his boxers. In true gentleman fashion, he fixed her panties and dress too.
“Have we arrived yet?” Natasha’s sleepy voice echoed in the car.
“Sure did,” Bucky replied and kissed y/n on the cheek when she folded her legs to put them on the seat and snuggled into Bucky.
“Still got about 5 more minutes, actually.” Sam chirped in, and Natasha gave Bucky a pointed look. Raising his shoulders, he pretended to look out from the window behind the redhead.
“You took my blanket.” She pointed to the material covering y/n and Bucky, and he pulled it off of them, throwing it at Natasha.
“You weren’t using it, and y/n was cold.” Tilting her head, Natasha stared the couple up and down before neatly folding the blanket. “Don’t worry.” Bucky patted it. “We didn’t ruin it or something.”
Sighing, Natasha discreetly pointed to Bucky’s pants and gave them both a knowing look. “Of course. Y/n was cold,” she nodded, “and it’s not like you used it to have sex.” and smiled.
“No.” Bucky shook his head, quickly zipping up his pants. “How could we?”
Meeting Natasha’s eyes, y/n chuckled. It was a good attempt at playing it cool even though her cheeks were burning up. With Sam already pulling up into the compound’s garage, Natasha decided against embarrassing the couple further, dropping the subject, and opting to wake up Steve instead.
“Rise and shine, lover boy.” She rubbed his shoulder. “Rise and shine.”
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