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#bucky fic
voxofthevoid · 39 minutes ago
Chapters: 2/2 Fandom: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Natasha Romanov (Marvel) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Daddy Kink, Face Slapping, Overstimulation, Dominance and Submission, Sex Toys, Mating Cycles/In Heat Series: Part 3 of we’re not lovers (we’re just strangers with the same damn hunger) Summary:
As the minutes tick by, Steve remains wide awake despite counting sheep and guns and the strands of Bucky’s hair made visible by the faint light filtering in through the window. Bucky’s new place is in Manhattan, a high-rise too close to the tower to be anything but a taunt to Tony. Steve likes the place; it doesn’t have the memories the old one did.
Natasha had to talk him out of buying that apartment when Bucky left. Steve’s always had a bad habit of chasing ghosts.
His most recent one is right under his nose. Literally.
Bucky’s bonding mark is now a fresh scar. If Steve were wholly human, he wouldn’t even see it. With the serum, the scant light is more than enough for the details to stand out. It’s a ragged thing—human teeth aren’t made for grace, but the bonding mark had a smooth, polished look to it. The scar tissue that has taken its place is anything but—a thick, raised line of red, lumpy flesh. If Steve set his teeth to it, it wouldn’t match, not anymore.
Steve bears his own matching scar.
- Carving out a future from the ashes of the past is complicated enough without Hydra in the equation, but Steve and Bucky have never had it easy
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marniesea · 48 minutes ago
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Current mood board for Selkie Chapter 11
life is super insane this week so I’m not sure if this chapter will be up until next week :/
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ladyfallonavenger · an hour ago
Intentions and Decisions (Not Conventional Ch.7)
Bucky x Reader; Steve x Reader (past relationship)
Word Count: 2737
Warnings: This is smut free but my blog is 18+ and NSFW so can minors please skedaddle. Mentions of rape, death and illness; genetic disease, child sickness, angst, angst, more angst, betrayal, Steve being a dick, indecent proposal, life and death decisions, coercion (not smut but kissing and actions against will), fluff, anger oh and did I mention angst?
Summary: Steve agrees to being tested to help Jamie but does he have a motive or is he just the hero saving the day?
A/N: So I’m quite excited by this chapter. I’ve been writing it in between my current sewing madness. I started it not long after posting chapter 6 because I felt the inspiration and need to continue even though I’ve been so busy. I really enjoyed writing this one because of both Steve and Bucky. I’ll leave you to decide about them and their actions and how the reader has to act because of something that’s happened.
All of my work is my own, none of it is beta read and my mistakes are my own too. Please feel free to like, comment and reblog. I appreciate the feedback and enjoy your responses too.
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“Steve” she paused as she felt his eyes focus on her, “we need to talk” she spoke barely audible as more tears threatened to fall…
He studied her movements, she was trembling and in tears. He wanted to hug her, comfort her and he hated this dichotomy in his head. Why couldn’t he just hate and hurt her and make it simple. After all, she was the reason Peggy hated him, the reason Bucky knew the truth but she was also the reason he couldn’t sleep at night. After everything he’d done to her, she had still shown him courtesy. After all of the hurt and pain he inflicted on her, she didn’t run away from him. After he’d belittled, humiliated and abused her, she still didn’t out him or ruin his reputation. After everything he’d imposed upon her, consumed by the idea that he hated her, he knew the hate was for himself. The hate was for how, even when he finally was with Peggy, he yearned for her and realised too late that he was a monster.
“What is it Y/N, you can tell me" he coaxed.
“Jamie has biliary atresia. Liver disease”
“Shit that’s serious, is there anything they can do?” his voice laced with concern. He knew his sister’s death was caused by liver disease and he felt devastated for Y/N as she sat before him, her voice was so shaky and that worried him.
“It’s beyond the first surgery stage because of the serum. She needs a liver transplant” Y/N suddenly burst into sobs of anguish. Saying it made it too real. Steve pulled her to him and let her cry into his chest.
Nat kept watch, just ensuring Steve wouldn’t try and hurt her. But she didn’t want him ruining the relationship Y/N had with Bucky. She was going to have to be very vigilant over the next few days.
Y/N pulled away from Steve and sniffled.
“Sorry” she apologised wiping her tears away with her hands.
“Never apologise for loving your daughter" his voice was soft as he looked at her with warmth in his eyes. “Is there anything I can do to help?" his question just made this feel harder for her.
“I was hoping that maybe you could be tested to see if you’re a match” she requested nervously.
“Absolutely, I mean I’m surprised you’re asking me. It’s a genetic disease and transplant testing is done on parents first. Isn’t Bucky being tested?” he checked. Y/N glanced away before looking at him.
“He is, I mean he is her father in every way except biology,” she took a deep breath, “on the morning of Tony’s funeral I begged you to talk to me"
“I brushed you away like a jerk, I remember”
“I wanted to tell you that I was pregnant. Steve, Bucky has seen me through everything with Jamie but biologically, she’s your daughter. I know you will hate me for not telling you earlier today but you left me feeling terrified of you, how you used my body for release and control. I know I’m asking you a lot because you don’t know anything about her but" Y/N was rambling and he hushed her placing a finger on her lips.
“She’s my daughter, you don’t have to ask. I’ll do it. I also understand why you didn’t tell me, if I could be such a monster to you, you were worried about what I could do to her. Tell me what I need to do" he smiled at her, Y/N threw her arms around his neck hugging him appreciatively and taking him by surprise. He hugged her back as he tried to process in his mind that, even though he abused Y/N, she kept his child. HIS child. That was the part that changed everything for him.
Steve accompanied Y/N into the hospital where he was greeted by the others in a very frosty manner. All showing their distrust for him. Bucky stepped toward him and offered his hand in truce. He told him that whatever their arguments were, Jamie was innocent in all of this and deserved the best shot possible. Steve agreed, shaking Bucky’s hand as Y/N hugged Bucky with some hope in her eyes. Steve, Bucky and Y/N were called in to have their tests done and they had two hours until their results were in. Y/N, Bucky and Steve all sat with Jamie. Y/N’s stomach grumbled and Bucky looked to her with concern. She insisted she was fine but Bucky shook his head. They left Steve with Jamie while they went to eat. Steve leaned forward, took her hand in his and kissed it. He couldn’t believe how delicate she was.
“Don’t worry little sweetheart, I’ll make this right. I’ll make this right for all of us” he muttered with concerned eyes as he ran a hand over her face gently.
Two hours passed quickly and Bruce joined them once again. His face didn’t give anything away as he asked to speak to the three of them. They sat facing Bruce, eagerly hoping for some good news.
“So as you know, all three of you had DNA tests,” Bruce began, “Bucky, I’m afraid you’re not a match but you already thought that. Y/N you are a match but there are some concerns at the moment with your bloodwork which could make it dangerous for you to be Jamie’s donor. I need you to take some follow up tests for your own safety but we can talk about that after,” he added. Bucky and Y/N shared worried glances but he also comforted her as he rubbed he thumb over her hand as he held hers in his. “Steve you are a match, a perfect match and, with your consent, I’d like to get you prepped as soon as possible to do the procedure as each minute that passes is vital. That is if you’re still willing” Bruce explained. Y/N and Bucky looked at Steve expectantly and he smiled at them with a nod. Y/N and Bucky clutched onto each other with relief as Steve agreed to it without hesitation.
Preparation for the operation was underway. Steve was led to a room to get changed, have some tests done and made comfortable before the operation. While that was going on, Jamie was also having some last minute tests pre-op as Y/N and Bucky informed everybody as to what was happening. Tony then asked who was looking after Steve post op because he wasn’t allowed to be alone for at least 3 weeks after surgery, partly due to recovery but also because of noting the effects of the serum in transplant surgery. Y/N and Bucky exchanged concerned glances. Nobody wanted to volunteer and that left Y/N and Bucky no choice but to agree despite Nat’s protest that there must be another way. Y/N left them to go and see Steve.
He was laying in the hospital bed and looking as comfortable as one could be. She knocked on the open door and he smiled welcomingly at her. She came in and sat on the bed to face him.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Nervous but happy I can do something positive for Jamie. She looks so vulnerable” he said looking more serious.
“I know. Steve I can’t thank you enough for this. Saving Jamie, this means so much to me” she informed.
“I can’t ignore that she needs my help, she’s my biological daughter. I would never forgive myself” he let on. She thanked him again but looked at him with what appeared to be worry or apprehension. “What’s on your mind sweetheart?” he asked putting his hand on hers.
“You know you are supposed to have a 3 week minimum aftercare routine right” she checked.
“C’mon I’m Steve Rogers, I don’t get sick. I’ll be fine” he assured.
“Steve you’re not allowed to be alone. Bucky and I want you to stay at ours after your surgery. At least this way Bruce can check on you and Jamie at the same time. Besides it might give you a chance to get your friendship with Bucky back on track. I know you miss each other” she sighed. Steve squeezed Y/N’s hand gently in his. He gratefully nodded at her. Y/N stood up and hugged Steve before leaving the room.
Bucky figure he’d offer an olive branch. He arrived at his hospital room, knocked and gave Steve a wry smile.
“Hey” Steve acknowledged. Bucky nodded and walked into the room. He stopped beside the bed and felt awkward.
“Steve I’m so grateful for what you are doing. Y/N and Jamie are everything to me” he began but Steve cut him off. His demeanour had shifted.
“I’m not doing anything for you. You see I had this all wrong. I thought I hated her, I thought it was her who deserved my wrath but it was you that always took from me when she always cared for me. So what I’m doing is for Y/N and MY daughter” he emphasised. Bucky rolled his eyes wondering when this Steve would resurface.
“Steve she is yours biologically but mine in every other way because I have been there for them both. I was there for the pregnancy, the birth and ever since” Bucky sneered at him.
“I’ve changed my mind. I won’t do the operation” Steve suddenly announced. Bucky glared at him with alarm in his eyes.
“You can’t do this. Jamie is innocent in all of this” Bucky insisted.
“But you’re her father, I mean you should be able to provide for her and ensure she is healthy right” Steve taunted. He sat against the headboard, an evil smirk plastered on his face as Bucky knew he was powerless at this point.
“What is it you want Steve?” Bucky asked knowing that look all too well.
“Simple, you want me to do this operation and I’ll do it, if…” he paused dramatically watching his former friend squirm, “Y/N agrees to sleep with me”. Bucky’s eyes panned and he felt absolutely sick to his stomach.
“You are a despicable human being, your mother would be ashamed of you” Bucky spat.
“Yeah well in this life it’s hunt or be hunted. You have an hour to decide. I suggest you tell Y/N what’s happened and that you forced my hand on this” he grinned waving him out of the room. Bucky was furious and wanted to hit him but he held back for Y/N and Jamie. Shaking his head, he left the room scared of what to say to Y/N.
The moment Bucky joined her as she sat with Jamie, she knew something was wrong. Bucky’s eyes were filled with tears, he tried to figure out in his head where this had come from with Steve. If he hadn’t gone in to see him would he have still done this? Bucky broke the news to Y/N. She sat there in shock. Her expression matching that of someone who’d been thrown into an ice bath. Her stomach lurched. How could someone bargain the life of a child so carelessly? She hugged Bucky assuring him he wasn’t at fault. Despite him knowing that it was true, he still felt guilty. With less than thirty minutes to come up with a response and looking at options (including Y/N being the donor which Bruce explained was dangerous). Y/N’s eyes widened at the realisation that he would still be unable to do anything until he recovers. That would buy them 3 weeks to think of a way out of it. The only thing Bucky was worried about was being convincing. He knew Y/N went through hell with Steve but he also knew that Steve wouldn’t just buy an ‘I’ll do it’. He told Y/N what she had to do. Despite her reluctance, her child’s life was at stake. Y/N kissed Bucky deeply, they knew they’d do anything for Jamie and, in this instance, it would mean playing Steve at his own game. Y/N reluctantly left Bucky’s side to go and see Steve.
She knocked on the door and he once again smiled softly at her beckoning her over. She shut the door behind her and sat on the bed facing him.
“I suppose Bucky told you” he mused. Y/N nodded in silence and just stared at him. “I take it you have an answer for me” he added. She nodded again and looked down. She took his hand in hers and toyed with his fingers.
“How did you know Steve?” she barely spoke. He looked at her with confusion as she glanced up at him.
“Know what?”
“That I still… that I still have this need for you” she whispered looking him in the eye, “I have been struggling with how I am feeling since you turned up today” she confessed. “I thought I hated you, never wanted to see you again. Am I afraid of you? Yes. Do I hate you? No. If I did, would I have kept her? Maybe deep down I felt that you would return to us one day. That we could be together, a real family” she added. Steve looked at her slightly suspicious.
“What about Bucky?” he asked. Y/N sighed. She hated this part knowing it was a lie but she had to sell it.
“I thought I was in love with him. I thought I wanted him to be the one but how is that true when all I want you to do is kiss me and tell me our daughter will be ok?” she questioned. Steve pulled her into an embrace.
“Do you really mean that Y/N?” he asked searching her eyes for any indication that this was a trick. He found none as she leaned up and placed her lips on his. The kiss was delicate and swiftly moved to fierce as his tongue probed her mouth. The kiss deepened instantaneously and she pulled away from him tugging at his lip from her teeth.
“Steve, stay with us during recovery. You can’t do anything for three weeks but at least you’ll be near. I can make sure you’re ok and then maybe we can talk about us when Bucky is at work and the possibility of siblings for Jamie. That’s if it’s what you want” she offered. Adoration for her filled his eyes.
“Does Bucky know you are here or saying this?” he checked.
“He knows I’m here to tell you I’ll sleep with you but he doesn’t know about the rest. That’s between us, why do you think I want you to recover with us? Steve I… I still love you and I want to be with you. This way we can plan it, but things need to be different” she told him.
“Hurting you was the worst thing I’d ever done sweetheart, this will be another chance for us” he promised her kissing her once again. “Once I’m fully recovered I’m going to make love to you, breed you and make a promise to be yours always but for now I need to save our daughter” he told her with nothing but love in his tone. “I love you Y/N” he whispered smiling lovingly.
“I love you too Steve” she replied kissing him once more. She left the room as the nurses went in to get him ready to move to the operating theatre.
Y/N went into the women’s bathrooms and headed straight for the toilet. She vomited instantly. Trying to hold back her tears as she threw up again. She made her way to the sink to wash her hands and face. Stepping out of the bathroom she went to Jamie’s room and was met with Bucky embracing her tightly and pressing his lips to the side of her head. They watched Jamie being taken to the operating theatre.
“Did he buy it?” Bucky asked.
“All of it” Y/N spoke as she looked at Jamie.
“Did you mention the whole planning to be together and being with him while I’m at work?” Bucky checked.
“I did it all as advised, including the kisses” Y/N confirmed weakly. Bucky apologised to Y/N knowing it made her feel ill. But right now all that mattered was Jamie and that meant lying to Steve regardless of how ill at ease Y/N felt about what could go wrong when Steve realised it was all a lie.
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moonlight-prose · an hour ago
bucky barnes and 23 for the soulmates AU?
𝐀/𝐍 || So I absolutely LOVE this prompt. I hope you enjoy it darling! (also yes it's a hozier song. his song titles will forever be used as fic titles)
𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 || A red string begins to lead you to the biggest change of your life. Him.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 || 1.6k
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 || Bucky Barnes x Reader
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || none. a tiny bit of fluff.
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It had been there since you were born. The image of something; a flash of red, and then nothing but complete darkness. You began to wonder if perhaps your eyes were continually playing tricks on you, the curiosity of what was going on fading. Until you chalked it up to be nothing but a medical condition. An unsolvable one at that.
Until the next year.
You would close your eyes and instead of seeing a flash of red you’d see an image of something much clearer than before. The haziness around it began to subside the longer you stared at it. And with every passing year after that, it began to grow brighter. Grow crisp enough for you to see that it wasn’t an image. It wasn’t a part of your imagination, it was real and the wonderment of what this was, began to morph into a different question altogether.
Were you the only one who had this?
A red string that seemed to stretch on for miles; vanishing into the darkness and yet it seemed that you were walking alongside it this entire time. Reaching out for it with every shut of your eyes. Until you were holding it within your hands. A red string. It couldn’t have meant much. Maybe you were actually going insane after all.
That was a possibility that you harbored more often than not.
But that all seemed to change; the winds shifting into something odd. You woke up, feeling a weight in your chest, much different than the times before. Shutting your eyes, the red string was now held in the palm of your hand, the soft feeling of it a comfort compared to how your heart felt. Something was happening. couldn’t say.
Still you got up to start your day. Mundane as always. Getting dressed, packing your bag for work, and beginning to walk towards the subway station that held people far more insane than even you. Although you weren’t sure you were insane. More like a case of delirium and nothing else. Or at least you hoped that was it.
Yet each time you shut your eyes, hoping to block out the sounds of people shouting on the subway car, you saw the red string. Saw how it continued on into a darkness that didn’t seem so dark anymore. The winds had shifted, and now you wished to walk into the dark rather than flee from it anymore.
Perhaps it was a bad idea, or maybe you’d finally lost it, but you began to walk in the direction of the string. Following it step by step. You managed to get to the end of the subway car before it jolted to a stop, nearly sending you into a woman’s lap. She spit something at you, a word in a different language that you assumed to still be a cuss word of some kind.
“I’m sorry!” you called out, gripping onto your bag as you rushed out of the station.
Ten minutes late for work is not how you thought you’d be spending your day, but there you were. Thankfully the cafe didn’t seem to have much of a line, so you began to dig for your wallet. The string, completely forgotten about. For now. Coffee was the more important aspect of your day, the smell of it pushing away thought of the string from your mind.
“Shit,” you mumbled, hoping you had in fact brought your wallet, and nearly shouted in joy at the sight of it at the bottom of your bag.
“How can I help you?”
“One large coffee with cream and sugar to go please.”
She nodded, beginning to pour into the cup as you pulled out the amount needed. For a brief second you shut your eyes, trying to catch your breath, attempting to calm the speed of your heart. And you were back beside that red string. The darkness, no longer a darkness, but instead a faded glow. That had never happened before. You felt your breath stutter, the end of the red string in sight, but what lay at the end of it you’d never be sure.
“Here’s your coffee.”
You were jolted out of your daze, thanking her and tossing money into the tip jar beside you. The end of the string could wait. You were busy trying to get to your job and as you shoved the thoughts aside, you felt it. Another change in the winds. Another jolt of your heart as if things were about to change in the biggest way possible. You were being ridiculous. That’s what you repeated in your head, but as you walked towards the building you had begun to loathe, you saw it.
The end of the red string.
Shutting your eyes, your breath hitched in your chest, because it led straight into your building. Odd. You opened the door, wary about what exactly was happening. Maybe this was a trick that your boss had managed to play on you. But for that long? For that many years? No...this was something else.
“Hey,” the familiar voice brought a smile to your face.
“Hey Parker.”
He sipped at the cup of coffee in front of him. In your opinion the kid didn’t need coffee but who were you to say what a hero drank and ate. Once you walked in on him chowing down his third burger of the night, and began to realize that a hero’s metabolism was a lot different from yours.
“Mr. Stark said to meet him in the conference room.”
You nodded. “Did he say why?”
“Someone just got back from a mission. Cap’s friend apparently. They said he was deep undercover.”
“They told you or you…”
“Listened in. Oh yeah.”
Smiling, you began to head towards the room, beginning to go through what you knew about people undercover. Whoever they were, you'd never heard of them before. You didn’t even know Cap had a friend until right now. Just as Peter said, Tony was sitting on his laptop in the conference room, the bored look on his face telling you exactly how this meeting was going to go. A simple debrief and nothing more. Needed in order to get the person back into the society as their old selves.
“Mr. Stark,” you said.
He raised his head nodding in your direction. “You can take a seat. They’re barely getting off the jet.”
So definitely a debrief.
Drooping your things you sighed, letting yourself rest for a few seconds. Until you made the mistake of shutting your eyes. And there it was. The end of the string. Heading your way. Getting to your feet you quickly got out the word bathroom before you were walking down the hallway, following the string as fast as possible. Because things were going to change, and you wanted to figure out how.
The sounds of people heading your way had you slowing your stride to a walk, but then you heard it. Steve called out someone’s name with a question if he was alright. He. Who was he? Rounding the corner you froze at the sight of a man in combat gear. How weapons, still attached to him.
“Hi,” you said breathlessly, watching as his eyes roved over your figure.
You didn’t know how. Didn’t know why, but when you shut your eyes, the red string disappeared. The end of it leading right to this spot, right to this moment. Leading right to him. He took a step closer, eyes still focused on yours until it felt like you couldn’t breathe.
“It ended at you.”
His words snapped you back to reality; back to why you thought you were crazy all those years. “What?”
“The string.” He glanced at his hands. “It stops at you.”
You weren’t alone.
“I think we’ve been looking for each other for a long time,” you said softly, hands itching to hold him. Your heart sang in your chest, almost as if it knew the man before you. Knew every little thing about him better than it knew you.
He smiled. “I’ve been looking for you a lot longer than you’ve been looking for me doll.”
“And yet here we are.”
“Here he are,” he mumbled.
You stuck out your hand, stepping close enough to feel his breath against your face. “I’m Y/N.”
He shook it, his own smile never once fading, eyes blue enough to see their own ocean in them. “Bucky Barnes.”
“Bucky,” you whispered. “I like your name.”
“I like yours.”
“Buck!” Steve’s voice broke you away from him, and already you missed his warmth. “What happened?”
He shook his head, beginning to come up with an excuse that wouldn’t help the situation.
“Hello Captain Rogers. Y/N. I’m here to give...Mr. Barnes a debriefing.” You gestured in the direction of the conference room. “If you follow me. Mr. Stark is waiting.”
Walking in that direction, you fell back a bit, feeling a hand begin to intertwine with yours. The new, but already familiar, feeling in your chest beginning to grow once more. You didn’t know this man. Didn’t know his past, but you didn’t give a shit about any of that. Not when he was the person you’d been looking for since the day you were brought into this world. He nudged your shoulder, head ducking down to press his lips against the shell of your ear.
“You're quick on your feet, doll. I like you already.”
Smiling, you nudged him back, already were going to like this new change.
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spideyhexx · an hour ago
take a chance on me - b.b.
here's something I wrote for @buckyblues 4k writing challenge! I've been wanting to get back into writing, so here's my first go at it :)
using the song prompt "take a chance on me by abba." @edenslibrary
be sure to let me know what you think :) reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated 😊
bucky barnes x reader
summary: bucky has a crush on you. he's doubtful of himself, messes up, but turns it around.
WARNINGS: sfw. fluffy. some tiny tiny angst. bucky being self deprecating. huge hate of chekhov. bookstore owner!reader.
word count: 2.3k
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Bucky replays his conversation with you a billion times within the couple of minutes it takes for him to walk from the quaint little book shop to his apartment.
After his favorite bookstore closed, Bucky took to finding a new one and stumbled upon the Murky Lime. He thought the name was strange, a little off putting, but as soon as he walked in, Bucky knew he was going to enjoy spending his afternoons there. It always smelled like hazelnut or vanilla, a scent he found so incredibly comforting that he bought a hazelnut scented candle for his home. Although it was a small shop, the shelves were loaded with books and he was able to find a hidden corner to sit down and read for a couple of hours, unbothered.
Not to mention the pretty girl that worked at the main desk and seemed to be the owner. You were there every afternoon that Bucky stopped by. He noticed how you would paint your nails when there weren’t as many customers. How kind your words were to anyone who asked for help. It took him a couple of weeks to work up the courage to ask you to help him find a book, even though he knew exactly where it was.
Bucky remembers when he complimented your bracelet and you smiled, stuttering out a thank you. The first time he saw you nervous. It gave him hope that maybe you were into him, but Bucky pushed away those thoughts as quickly as they came.
He couldn’t fathom how someone would truly want to be with him. Besides, he had enough on his plate, what with helping Sam on whatever mission he called him on and dealing with the occasional nightmare that haunted his mind.
That’s why he keeps on replaying the conversation. And cursing at himself for being so stupid.
“Hey Bucky!” Your words were cheerful, causing heat to rise up on his cheeks. You loved how a simple greeting seemed to get him all flustered. He’s still not used to even hearing his name come from your lips.
“How’re you doing, doll?” He lets the endearment slip, hoping he’d get to see you smile, and you do, before turning away and pointing at a box.
“I’m alright! And if you don’t mind, and you can totally say no, but I got a whole new set of Chekhov plays and I need to bring them to the play section, which is the furthest point from here and the box is a bit too heavy and I was going to make multiple trips but now you’re here and-”
“Of course I’ll help,” Bucky responded, chuckling at your babbling. You sighed, secretly hating your rambling habit, but it was hard not to when a handsome man was standing in front of you.
“I thought you hated Chekhov?” Bucky asked, picking up the box and following you to the play section.
“Oh I do, but a customer has been calling in for the last three weeks, asking if we have Chekhov and I thought I should finally put my Chekhov hating ass aside to appease the people who adore him,” you told him.
You couldn’t remember when you told Bucky you hated Chekhov, but you did not necessarily need to say it for someone to understand your distaste for the author.
“Or they could’ve just gone to a different bookstore,” Bucky mumbled, but you heard and let out a laugh. He put the box down and leaned against the opposite book shelf, hoping you would continue talking to him as you put the books away.
“So, I had another question for you,” you said, sneaking one glance at him before looking away.
“Go for it.”
“I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? Not sure where but we could just go get some coffee? Or go out to dinner?”
This was it, the penultimate moment Bucky had been dreaming about ever since he laid eyes on you. Yet his mouth began speaking before he could really take it in.
“Um, no,” he said, immediately widening his eyes at your expression. Your mouth dropped to say something, but you weren’t sure what to even say.
“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t think I can, right now, maybe?” You raised an eyebrow at him and smiled softly.
“It’s okay to say no, Bucky.”
“I know that, I know. I think I’m just not ready right now,” he said, his voice quieter as he said the last part. His brain was screaming at him to retract everything he had just said to you and to tell you he would go on a date, but Bucky could not do it. He already felt like he had failed and saw no point in trying.
“That’s okay. But...if you ever change your mind, let me know, I’d still be down,” you said.
You were slightly disappointed, but understood his reasoning even if he didn't give you an exact one.
Ever since he first came to your shop, you knew exactly who the tall, blue eyed man was. It was hard trying to comprehend everything James Bucky Barnes had gone through. You knew asking him out might’ve been a big step from having occasional small talk. A small part of you hoped he would take a chance on you someday.
Bucky throws his jacket haphazardly onto the couch as soon as he gets home, not caring that it ends up falling to the floor. He lights the candle on the kitchen counter and collapses onto the couch face first, letting out the sigh that was building up in him ever since he left the Murky Lime.
How could he do that? Was he actually not ready to date? He told himself he wasn’t, that’s why he felt like he had to say no to your date. But god, does Bucky want to go out with you and hold your hand and kiss your cheek. He hasn’t felt this feeling in a long while.
All the therapy sessions with Dr. Raynor flood his mind. The ones where she encouraged him to try dating and finding new friends but he brushed it off, feeling like he was unworthy of it. How could a sweet girl like you see something in him, he simply did not understand it. But you liked him enough to ask him on a date and he fucking said no.
Bucky sends Sam a quick text that’s more like an entire paragraph explaining the situation and what he should do. He throws his phone to the other side of the couch and drops his head into his hands. His phone pings a few seconds later and Bucky scrambles to grab it.
I think you’re just afraid of dating buck. You’re definitely ready, you’ve done so much work to be yourself again and I’ve seen that in you. If you like her AND she mentioned still going out if you changed your mind??? Go get her, man. Take the chance. If it doesn’t work out and you really aren’t ready, then that’s okay too. But it’s clearly eating you up that you said no, so just go to her.
You button up your coat and stuff your phone into your pocket, straining your head to the side to double check the time. Closing the store required a particular routine that you perfected, but you did not expect to see Bucky’s face at the front door. He did not notice you looking at him and you see the hesitation in his hands before he opens the door.
“Hey,” he says, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.
“Hello again.” Bucky gives you a stiff grin and rocks on his feet for a few moments. The silence is deafening and it’s just about too awkward for you to handle.
“Is there uh..something you want?” He glances up and your eyes lock with his pretty blue eyes. You feel like you could gaze into them all day.
“Yeah, if you’re still up for it, I would like to go on that date with you. I’ve been afraid to put myself out there, but you’re so kind and beautiful..” his words trail off and he’s distracted for a moment at how you’re biting your lip nervously.
“I wanted to take a chance, so yes, let’s go on a date.”
“Do you wanna go now?” Bucky raises his brow and nods. You run to the back door to make sure it’s locked. When you come back, you see that Bucky took it upon himself to turn a few of the lights off and he hands you your purse.
“What a gentleman, huh?” He blushes and moves to open the door for you. You lock it up and turn to him.
“Does a walk in the park sound like a good idea?”
Since it was almost evening time, the park was not as busy. Bucky prefers it that way, and you do too. He’s so close to you, you can smell the little bit of cologne he must’ve put on. You want to tease him for it but decide not to. Instead, you purposely brush your hand against his own and Bucky immediately takes your hand in his.
“Maybe after this we could get dinner,” Bucky suggests.
“That would be nice. You can pick where.” Bucky thinks for a moment before responding.
“There’s this diner..a couple of blocks from your shop actually. It was there back in….you know.” Now that he’s thinking about it, he wasn’t sure you knew. He doesn’t wear gloves to hide his vibranium arm anymore and it’s an easy google search but you never showed any indication you knew about his past.
“I know about your past, Bucky. I won’t ask anything about it if-”
“No, it’s okay. I can talk about it.”
You nod. You're not planning to scour his brain about the haunting details of his life as the Winter Soldier, but you were curious about his life before that.
“Does it look the same as it did back then? The diner, I mean.”
“For the most part. There’s some newer technology in there and updated furniture but the style is all the same. It’s kind of nice to go somewhere familiar.”
The two of you walk over to an empty bench and take a seat. Your hands are still intertwined, resting on Bucky’s thigh.
“One more question about the 30s and 40s and then we can head on over to the diner,” you say, making Bucky laugh and nod his head at you to continue.
“How were dates back then? Like would you do the same thing we’re doing now or was there anything different?”
“It’s mostly the same,” he tells you. Bucky looks down at your hand, admiring how you rub your thumb against his hand.
“But there were these dances. I haven’t seen anything like them nowadays.”
“I think the closest thing we have to that is nightclubs. I’m gonna assume that is not your scene,” you say, giggling at his disgusted expression.
“It isn’t. I like forties music. I tried to listen to newer stuff and it’s not all terrible, but still not my favorite. I don’t think anyone in a nightclub will play Tommy Dorsey or Dinah Shore.” You ponder that for a moment as he turns to observe what else is going on in the park.
Quickly, you take out your phone.
“What are you doing?” All you do is smile at him, setting your phone down on the bench and standing up in front of him. He raises an eyebrow suspiciously as you hold your hand out.
“Mr. Barnes, can I have this dance?” Bucky takes a look around. There were a few people around who seemed to not take notice of the music coming from your phone.
“Gladly,” he accepted, taking your hand. Bucky placed one hand on your hip and pulled you in closer to him.
“I must admit, I know this was my idea, but I don’t know how to dance,” you whisper to him. Bucky shakes his head, smiling so wide he thought his mouth would start hurting. He slowly moves his feet side to side.
“Just this is fine,” he mutters. He tries not to take his eyes off yours, but you’re so close and Bucky can’t help but look at your lips, slightly parted and letting out deep breaths. He moves your hand rest on his shoulder, both of his own now holding your hips.
You trail your fingers from his shoulder to behind his neck, clasping your hands there.
“Thank you for this,” Bucky says and he hums along to the song playing, ‘Be Careful, It’s My Heart’ by Frank Sinatra. You smile at it, so he keeps humming. Bucky leans his forehead against yours.
“I know it’s not perfect-”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s with you. And this’s nice.” You feel like your heart is going to burst. His eyes keep flitting down to your lips and Bucky leans in.
As his lips ghost against yours, you move your head, so he ends up kissing your cheek. He pulls back, a confused look on his face.
“Save that for the end of the date, honey,” you tease, leaning up to kiss his cheek. You linger your lips against his skin before moving away from him and his scoff turns into a laugh.
“I’m holding you to that,” he says, biting the inside of his cheek.
“I hope you do” you mumble and Bucky pulls you in close to him, making you squeal. He twirls you and brings you back into his arms, his lips touching the top of your ear.
“Let’s go get some dinner now.” You nod and grab your phone, opting to let the music keep playing. Bucky doesn’t hesitate from telling you random music facts about the artists as you make your way to the diner.
And as you ramble on about your own favorite singer, Bucky thanks the heavens that he took a chance on you and that it was going better than he ever imagined.
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golden107 · 2 hours ago
‘Damn you bucky barnes’
Bucky Barnes x reader
Damn you Bucky barnes I thought stood in the elevator on my way up to my room in the tower I can’t help but feel stupid, stupid that I actually thought he’d like me back. Steve told me he was sure Bucky liked me back, he encouraged me, told me to put my heart out there only for it to be crushed.
Rubbing my eyes the elevator doors opened and I dragged my feet out but stopping abruptly when I saw Bucky and Steve in a heated conversation, deciding not to talk to either of them I tried to sneak through and down the corridor where I could cocoon in my bed until FRIDAY spoke.
“Miss Y/N, you asked me to notify Mr and Miss Maximoff when you arrived home, would you like me to do so?” The voice spoke
“Fuck,” I grunted feeling their eyes on me, “no thank you FRIDAY, it’s late, goodnight” and once she replied back I tried to carry on ignoring their glare on me.
“Doll-” Bucky started, I heard his footsteps heading over to me and I reluctantly turned around to see a stressed Bucky being me and a awkwardly smiling Steve in the background.
“Steve, I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay?” He nodded and took the hint to leave the room heading back into the elevator mumbling something about having to see Tony.
“Explain” I nodded
“You’re gonna laugh at me” he sighed
“Bucky if you didn’t want to go out with me you should’ve said so, I know you were a ladies man once upon a time but I never expected you to stand ME up-”
“Woah woah woah doll I didn’t do it on purpose okay? I was getting ready and Sam had been taking the piss out of me saying I looked scruffy so I decided to try and shave for you but just ended up cutting my face and then after I stopped the bleeding I started to get ready but I’m guessing Steve or Sam shrunk my pants in the wash because when I bent to tie my shoes they just split and by the time I’d gotten ready again I was already too late to make it believable” he interrupted rosy cheeked and only stopped talking when he saw a small smile on my face.
“You cut your face and then split your pants trying to get ready?” I teased
“Yeah” he rubbed his face “I really wanted to go out with you doll but I know my bad mood would’ve ruined it”
“I’m still annoyed you didn’t come don’t get me wrong but I know a place we can order from, how about we order a pizza or two and watch a movie? In our pjs of course, don’t want any more split pants” I suggested stroking his jaw line.
“You know what doll? That sounds perfect, I’ll call up you go get changed. Just make sure you save that dress for the next date” he winked at me making me blush and turn around, jumping and blushing even more when I felt a light smack on my bum. I didn’t need to turn around to know he was smirking.
Damn you bucky barnes.
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bellakitse · 2 hours ago
hi I know you’re also a steve x bucky fan and I was wondering if you knew the fanfiction where bucky had tony put a gold link into his ring finger to help him feel more grounded to steve and steve thinks he’s married to someone else until bucky tells him it’s for him? I can’t remember the name of it and I randomly thought of it this morning and thought I’d try in case anyone knows it! Sorry for bothering you! Thanks :)
That sounds so familiar nonnie, but I can't remmeber the name of the fic.
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subverbaldreams · 2 hours ago
Asylum in Winter
Chapter 1: Shadow
Wholly inspired by this brilliant WinterVenom sketch by @frostbitebakery​. Linked with permission -- THANK YOU!
contents: WinterVenom, brainwashing, hints of Stucky, escape from HYDRA, 1.1k words
I knew him.
It’s an effort for the soldier to form the concept. Even harder to turn the concept into words.
A name. What does it mean?
Images flip through his mind. Disjointed. Meaning lost before he can begin to grasp it. A slithering, tingling sensation rides up and down his spine. It has been doing this ever since the bridge. A HYDRA agent that had died during the fight. The agent’s skin had turned black and seemed to melt into the soldier’s skin, a living shadow which crept into his body and coiled around his spinal column. Resting. Watching. He doesn’t think a thing like this has ever happened before, but he has no way to be sure. He has been hot ever since that moment. Fevered. Malfunctioning. 
Flash to another bridge. A train. Falling, falling.
Heat in his spine. Always moving.
His head rocks to the side with a slap that leaves his ear ringing. He blinks, coming back to the bright room, the technicians. His handler stands in front of him. His handler has slapped him across the face. 
The slithering goes haywire inside of him and a strange feeling boils up in his chest. Rage. He’s used to feeling the battle rage during the mission. During the fighting. But never with his handler. It feels separate from himself somehow. Alien.
 The slap helped. It’s jogged a few pieces into place so that he can speak. He looks up into his handler’s craggy face. The entire room narrows down to those lined, cold eyes. They should be the only thing that matters to him in all of existence. But they aren’t. Not anymore.
“There was a man on the bridge,” the soldier says. “Who was he?”
Discomfort, bordering on pain. He’s not built to think about anything outside of the mission. Yes; that’s exactly the problem. That’s why this is so hard. The shadow inside him ripples gently across his insides, almost as if to soothe him. It reminds him of a different touch. 
Blue eyes, blond hair. A smile. A caress.
That slither through his spine. Constant motion and heat. Pieces of pictures that won’t come together to make any kind of sense. That face keeps playing in his head.
Blue eyes, blond hair. A voice. A name. 
His handler says something. But the soldier is distracted. The slithering has paused at the base of his neck and the shadow speaks inside of him. 
I fix you, soldier.
The voice is deep. Deep like falling from a bridge onto snow and stone. It’s not his own voice, but it resonates through him as if speaking from his very bones. Not like the voices that come from the machines, the ones that blast his mind apart and rearrange the shattered pieces until nothing fits right. This new voice makes sense out of the chaos. In the quiet space after it finishes speaking, the soldier is suddenly able to form a second thought which ties back to the first.
The man on the bridge. I knew him, the soldier tells the shadow. Pleading. He is lost. He has only just realized that he is lost. That he may have been this way for a very, very long time.
I KNEW him. 
I know, the voice assures him. I will help you.
Something sparks in his chest then. If he’d been more self-aware, he would have called it hope.
“I knew him.”
Out loud now. Words. 
His handler sighs with a disappointment that cuts through the fog and rips at his chest. The other inside of him, the slithering voice, squirms in discomfort as well. It is uneasy with the handler. It wishes him to be gone. The soldier is aware of this, but has no other context in which to put that knowledge.
His handler pulls up a chair and sits in front of him. Speaks of the mission, the mission which is Everything, but the soldier can’t get those blue eyes out of his head. Something about them is so vital and important that it’s breaking him inside. This is not the mission, and because of that, it flutters just outside of reach, leaving him unable to focus on anything at all. The presence in his spine comes forward again, speaks to him in that bone-rattling silence.
I give you a new mission, soldier.
The soldier’s attention turns inward, fixating on the voice. It speaks with authority. It cuts through the fog. He’s listening.
We will go and find the man from the bridge. That is our mission now. 
The soldier’s back straightens. 
The voice has given him what dangled so torturously out of his grasp. New orders to fit the new need burning inside of him. He looks up into the face of his handler. Layers and layers of fog strip back from his mind as the new orders slot into place like machine parts on an assembly line. 
“Do you hear me, soldier?” his handler asks.
We find the man from the bridge, says the voice inside of him, drowning out every other sound.
He wants this. He is eager. That is a new feeling. The soldier’s face stretches in a baring of teeth. His mouth feels full of so many, many teeth.
“Gotov podchinit'sya.” The voice from inside of his bones comes out of the soldier’s mouth, melted together with his own voice. This does not bother him. It feels right; it feels natural for them to say the words in unison: 
Ready to comply.
His handler jerks back from him, eyes going wide. All of them do: the ring of technicians and agents spreads out from him like the shock wave of an explosion.
“What the hell was that?” His handler recovers quickest and snaps the question at one of the technicians. “What was that?! Did you change his teeth?”
The soldier tries to stand. He is able to raise himself slightly, but he stops. Trembles from head to foot. Something inside of him is shutting down. He is never to harm his handler. Never to defy the Will of HYDRA.
Give me control, says the voice in his mind. 
“SIT DOWN, NOW!” his handler barks, and the soldier falls back into the chair. 
I knew him. 
But he’s not meant to know. They’ll put him back in the machine and the knowing will vanish. Hollow misery fills his chest.
Soldier. I will take care of us, the voice insists. You are my perfect match. I will let nothing harm you.
Now, give me control.
“Yes,” the soldier whispers.
“What?” his handler snaps.
But the soldier is not able to answer. He’s surrendered to the voice in the back of his spine and now the slithering sensation is running through his entire body like hot water, burning him from the inside out. Moving to the surface of him like lava boiling up from under the earth.
When they try to get up this time, it is easy.
[on AO3]  [all my works]
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pretoriafics · 3 hours ago
So this is love - Enemies to Lovers Week #3
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Hi guys! First of all, I'm not working from home anymore :( so it's starting to get difficult to achieve some frequency here. It was an especially tiring week for me. But another request is here! So, enjoy it!
Word count: 963 Pairings: Reader x Bucky Contain: Fluff <3 Warnings: English is not my main language <3 MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE MASTERLIST
You were an international mercenary. You were a hero to one, a villain to others. People have varied opinions about you, and some of them are a bit polarized. You are loved and hated in the same intensity. Avengers did not escape from this.
Tony used to say you have balls. You do what you had to, without fear of being judged, feared, or whatever. Natasha shared his point of view about you. However, Sam, Steve, and Bucky don't agree with them at all. They think you are just too greedy and just think about money. A selfish bitch like Sam usually says.
However, they can't deny one thing: Your network of contacts was really great.
Traveling all around the world made you meet a lot of important people. Your network of contacts varies between good people and dangerous ones. However, most of them owe you something.
You bought from one of your contacts some Vibranium from Wakanda. Unfortunately, your Vibranium was being stolen by terrorists as a way to made destruction weapons. The one who stole your vibranium was the same who Bucky was hunting now.
Knowing about your contact network, Bucky thought that maybe you and he could be allies to take the terrorist. You could have your vibranium back, and he could bring the terrorist to justice.
Well, you would need pretty emotional intelligence to work with Barnes. He sucks.
One of your contacts told you the terrorist would be at a party in a Mansion in Monte Carlo with your vibranium. You and Bucky needed to infiltrate that party, took back your vibranium, and get the terrorist to justice.
And there you are: In your fancy Versace red dress, with Barnes at your side entering the ballroom. The disguise your contact gets to you was a couple of black market merchants, which was pretty annoying. You guys needed to pretend to be a couple the entire night. Ugh.
You were with a glass of champagne. You took a sip on it while Bucky looks at you. It was a different gaze.
You put your fake smile on your lips, staring at him.
"What's up, James? Do you wanna paint me?"
He gives you a smile.
"I almost forgot how annoying you are. With you in this dress, it's pretty easy to forget these things."
You control yourself to not roll your eyes.
"Do you like it? Maybe you could borrow it."
Bucky made a grimace.
"This color doesn't fit with the color of my eyes."
Then, the This is Love by Émile Pandolfi starts to play, filling the ballroom with that beautiful piano notes. Some couples go to the middle of the ballroom, dancing and looking at each other. It was such love in their eyes. Bucky looks at you.
"I think we have to go, my dear."
You put your glass on a waiter platter and look at Bucky. He reaches out to you like an invite. Well, you didn't have a choice, did you? You took his hand, and you go to the center of the ballroom. With your body's close and his hand on your waist, you and Bucky start to dance. That music and the dating atmosphere made butterflies on your stomach. And, gosh, he was such a great dancer!
That moment you realize the blue of his eyes. And, yeah, his eyes were not too bad. Bucky was... pretty.
He gave you a smile.
"What's up, (Y/N)? Do you wanna paint me?"
You felt your cheeks burning.
"Stop! I'm just trying to stay on character. I just want my Vibranium back."
He seems to notice your anxiety. Bucky pulls you closer, and your face dives into his neck. His mouth approaches your ear.
"Well, I think you are beautiful tonight."
You let out a low chuckle.
"What happened with all of that 'selfish bitch' thing?"
"It not changed, but maybe I can forget it this night. But just for a few minutes."
Your cheeks started to burn again, and the air almost disappeared from your lungs. Then, you stare at Barnes.
"Oh, you're willing to do this tonight?"
"I'm willing to do this since some time ago."
Oh. That was new. You gave a smile to Bucky.
"Be careful to not fall in love, Barnes. I think it would be a problem."
"Yeah, it definitely would be."
His blue eyes stare at your lips, and you find yourself with your heart beating fast inside your chest. Your stomach seems to freeze in anxiety. Well, usually, Barnes only gets you annoyed. However, today was different. There is something about him that made your knees get weaker.
His voice made presence again.
"This lipstick suits you."
You arch your eyebrows and let out a low chuckle, disbelief about his words.
"You're such a gentleman today, Barnes. Are you sick?"
"C'mon, I'm always a gentleman."
"Not with me."
A smile of amusement takes form on his lips.
"I'm just saying that it would be really sad if someone messes it."
Your eyes narrowed.
"Yeah, it would. Why do you care?"
"I don't."
His hand runs to the back of your neck, and then his lips find yours in a slow kiss. Oh, well, a kiss would be nice to ensure the disguise of yours, but it was dangerous for your heart. You were not the only one who thought about it. Barnes considered the kiss something dangerous as well. After all, what do he would do if he liked the taste of your lips?
Well, he liked it a lot. He could spend the entire night kissing you. A red flag was raised up on your minds as an alert to not fall in love.
But, well... Not falling for you tonight would be a huge challenge.
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rosegoldimagines · 3 hours ago
Punching in The Dark CH8
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warning: canon typical violence and language
Originally the plan had been to use Clint’s contact and get the chopper to Siberia, however it seemed Tony had sussed out Steve’s plan all and called for an evacuation of the airport…this meant having to improvise.
As you changed in the back of the van, Steve devised a new plan. He’d initially make for the chopper and try to get Tony to listen. It was unlikely given Tony’s stubborn nature but Steve wanted to at least try.
The thought made your stomach coil and twist. Even if Tony did believe Steve. Ross never would, the thought of Bucky being handed him over to the police to be locked away or worse, executed, was too much for you to cope with.
You’d be waiting to act regardless of the outcome of the conversation. Sam and Bucky inside, Scott, Clint, you and Wanda on the ground with Steve, waiting, in hiding for his signal.
Thankfully with the Ant-Man suit and your camouflage suit, you’d have the element of surprise. Twice. You’d attempt to detain or hold off the others as much as you could whilst Steve and Bucky secured a jet for your team to steal and head over to stop the five other super soldiers. All you could do was channel everything you had into the battle and hope you could get Bucky out safe.
Before you headed for your position next to Clint, you turned to Bucky.
“Whatever happens out there the person they think you are…that’s not you,” you reached for his hand and squeezed. “We’ll clear your name, we’ll get you help,”
Bucky sighed “I don’t know if i’m worth all of this,”
“Hey,” your hand shot up and you brushed his hair off his shoulder “Don’t think like that. You can’t think like that, of course you’re worth it, you’re an innocent man,”
“I wouldn’t say innocent” Bucky spoke, his voice dry but his lips managed a slight upward curve
“Innocent of this,” you corrected with a twist of your hand “Whatever the soldier did years ago, that wasn’t you, and this isn’t about that,”
There was a moment of silence loaded “At least we’re fighting on the same side this time,” he rose an eyebrow, his eyes soft.
“Hopefully it’ll be the last fight, I miss Bucharest, I miss that crap apartment, I miss watching TV on that stupid crap box that went out whenever your neighbour had there’s on at the same time,”
“Me too,” Bucky smiled for what felt like the first time in days.
“And [Name], if I don’t get out of this…” he hovered over the words, but as he caught a glimpse of your bruises, marks he’d caused, he stopped himself “Thank you. For everything,”
“Don’t talk like that, you’ll be okay. We both will,” you gave his hand once last squeeze before turning and heading into position with Wanda, Clint and Scott. “I’ll see you on the other side, Sergeant,”
On that moment, Bucky felt his heart flip over and he couldn’t take his eyes off you even as you disappeared into your starting place.
The way he was looking at you didn’t go amiss.
Steve could see it, it was different to how Bucky used to look at the girls he liked back in the 40s. That was flirty, grins and winks and playful banter loaded with charm but this was different. He was looking at you like you’d hung the moon. He’d never seen Bucky look at anyone like that.
The questions he had for his best friend would have to wait.
Steve made his way to the helicopter, knowing Tony and Rhodey would be there.
“Found it, Quinjets in hangar five, North runway” Sam confirmed over the comms having used Redwing to scan
It started off reasonable with a trademark well placed arrow from Clint and Scott disarming Tony’s new guy, Spider-Man, he’d called himself although from his enthusiasm and cheery nature, he couldn’t have been any older than 16.
Wanda using her telepathy dropped you, in your camouflage to the runway. You could see Nat and Lang grappling and as soon as she’d brushed him to one side, you snuck to where she was, and used the element of surprise you had to secure her in a leg lock.
“It wasn’t Barnes,” you attempted to reason with her, clicking your camo off “He didn’t do it,”
She attempted to use her electric gauntlets but luckily your suit was insulated to minimise the pain.
“You know I invented that move right?” she rolled her eyes “Can’t say it’s not impressive though,” Nat gave you a smile before flipping over giving her the advantage.
“I’ll take that as a compliment”’ you muttered re-triggering your camo, slipping from her grip and heading to re-group with the others.
Just when the helicarrier was in sight, your line to freedom was cut off. Literally.
Vision. Shit. You should have known Tony would have something up his sleeve.
You’d have to fight your way out.
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thefalconthatcriedwolf · 3 hours ago
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Hello lovelies, here’s my masterlist all in one place. Reblogs, recommendations and feedback are SO very much appreciated & fuel my soul! Thank you for reading!  💖  
Please read the tags and warnings on each of these before reading!
“Mercy, Mercy” (explicit, 25k words total): Three-part series of their developing relationship with lots of angst, hurt/comfort, fluff and smut. TUMBLR LINK.
“two sides of the same coin” (explicit, 12k words): HARD smut;  Zemo's proposal to Selby takes a turn for the unexpected, and Sam has to watch Bucky "stay in character" and by that, he means he has to watch Bucky basically fuck or die. TUMBLR LINK.
“White Wolf Series” (explicit, ongoing): Ongoing series of Bucky, who can actually turn into a wolf. Mostly fluff, some slight angst/comfort and a sprinkle of smut. TUMBLR LINK.
(coming soon)
“Operant Conditioning” (mature, 21k words):  Steve finds Bucky bleeding in his apartment, but can't get a word out of him. Lots of hurt/comfort, PTSD. 
“Five Times Bucky Unnecessarily Protects the Avengers” (Teen, 3k words):  Five times Bucky unnecessarily protects his new friends, and the one time they stood up for him.
“5 Times Steve Thinks He's Smaller Than He Is + 1 Time He's Wrong”  (Teen, 1.5k words): A little story of how Steve has no idea what size he actually is, and poor Bucky is always left to deal with his boyfriend's idiocy.
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amayatheowl · 3 hours ago
Reckless - TFATWS (Chapter 8)
Woop a little late but here it is.
Warning: a pinch of swearing and a dash of violence and as always spoilers so if you haven’t watched the show (please please do it’s great!) read at your own discretion. Oh and angst… It’s kinda a given at this point.
Words: 6.6k (haha I know same)
This has been skimmed through and edited but if there are any mistakes apologies in advance as always (I'm running on limited sleep so you might see more than usual)
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Chapter 8
“Does it hurt?” Torres grimaced, queasy as Kaali redid her dressing, his audio muffled on the other end, eyes fixated on her arm as she cleaned the wound.
“Yeah. What kind of question is that!” Kaali scoffed, eyes up at the ceiling as the medication seeped into her skin, making it feel as though she’d just tipped boiling water all over herself.
“I don’t know!” Torres exclaimed at a loss for words. It was like they had nothing to talk about anymore, apart from the metal armed elephant that loomed over their conversations he didn’t have the guts to bring up. He wasn’t sure how Kaali would react and he didn’t want to seem controlling, but didn’t he deserve some answers?
Kaali was always the type to address things straight away, leaving no room for doubt, she made sure that Torres knew what he needed to know. Nothing more, nothing less. Which is why she’d obviously mentioned the floating ex that would spring up in their conversations, making sure to mention that he held a special place that would exist no matter what. Well if that special person was around someone he’d hypothetically been in love with, he would obviously be worried.
Torres often found himself flustered around Kaali at a loss for words; he didn’t expect her to be anything like she was. He’d expected an eccentric personality, moody, mysterious and sporadic, and while she was all that and more, she was also gentle, nurturing and playful. She constantly caught him off guard, she was protective over what they had and refused to share it with the world.
She was weirdly superstitious, and would always feed him curd mixed with sugar every time he left for a mission and would force him to do the same. One time when she’d heard about a mishap in an operation he’d carried out, she’d worriedly left salt at his doorstep for the next week telling him it’d ward off evil spirits. She’d even gone as far as slapping a nail cutter out of his hands one night, scared about the bad luck it might bring.
He was constantly surprised by her and oh, so deeply in love that he found himself in a childlike trance everytime he was with her or saw her. He felt like a damn kindergartener in love.
“You should’ve let me come. I could’ve helped!” He sighed, eyes fixed to the ground as Kaali tsked, securing her gauze in place.
“You’ve done so much already! You’re constantly giving us intel, making sure we have absolutely everything we need, checking in, that’s a lot. Besides, they’re all super soldiers, they’d snap you like a twig.” She teased, somewhat distracted as she packed up the items laid out in front of her.
“Harsh!” He barked a laugh as Kaali couldn’t help but smile at him fondly, almost forgetting about her aggravating conversation with Bucky.
“Seriously though -” before Kaali could continue down that trail Torres diverted her attention. “I wish I was there. I kinda hate not having you around.” He grinned sheepishly at her, his heart pounding against his chest, Kaali’s eyes lit up in recognition but she bit back a smile.
Bucky’s chest clenched painfully as he watched the spark light up in Kaali’s eyes at Torres’ confession, a look he’d seen all too well and missed right there in front of him, only this time it was for someone else.
He knew it was pathetic to be standing here and listening in on her conversations, but despite the self hate he’d been expressing to himself, his feet were glued to his spot. Limiting his movement.
All he wanted to do was talk to her, tell her that he didn’t mean the things he said, but watching her smile that same smile that she’d greet him with, so much adoration in her eyes for the man in the screen in front of her, somehow the definity of their relationship became clear to him.
There was no doubt she deserved someone better, someone that knew to stick around when things got hard and not push away like he did.
Why couldn’t he be mature about it for once?
Why was there an explosive fire in his chest at the sound of Torres going on about how much he misses her in his bed? Why was he unable to tame the childlike tantrum his heart had been throwing?
His jaw clenched and the cup he’d been holding cracked under the pressure of his metal hand.
Kaali’s head darted towards the door where Bucky stood, clearly visible, eyes fixated on her, unable to tear his gaze away in time to make it seem like this all happened in passing. Her smile evaporated off her lips and a deep seeded pain bloomed within her core. She felt guilty, like she’d cheated on him, despite them being separated.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Kaali spoke distantly, Torres knew he’d lost her in that moment and by her face, a stoic look snatching away her smile, he could tell she’d just seen Bucky. “Just Bucky.”
He hated that his name sounded as though a whispered prayer off her lips, and he hated that they were partitioned by the screen, that there was no way for him to make his presence known without him screaming for attention.
The soft bunting from Alpine tore him away from the scene unfolding in front him, beady eyes peering up at him, mouth agape, a silent call leaving him. Of course, Alpine could sense Bucky’s presence and it sucked. Torres would’ve liked to believe that maybe he’d sensed his discomfort and come over to console him but who was he kidding, given the choice they’d all choose Bucky.
“Does he want to say hi to Alpine?”
Kaali’s eyes snapped back onto the screen, Torres smiling but his crinkled eyes no longer apparent, of course he was worried, Kaali could feel his self doubt and frustration beneath the surface and hated herself for being the cause of it.
The furry white cat settled into his lap and watched the screen indifferently, while he was friendly, as long as he was fed, he didn’t care who you were or what he meant to you.
Kaali hesitantly turned back to Bucky. “I’m sure you heard that.”
Of course, she was disappointed in him, he’d just been caught red handed, listening into their conversations.
The grin Kaali gave Bucky the first time she brought Alpine home was something Bucky had imprinted in his memories, it was when he’d realised he truly loved Kaali.
The childlike innocence returned to her as she dropped the kitten in his lap. Bucky was confused about what she wanted him to do with it, but when Kaali curled up next to him, wrapping his arm around her, cuddled into his chest and petted Alpine, he was sure this was everything he’d wanted. For the first time he felt as though he was home. That this was where he was meant to be, and nowhere else.
Bucky almost stepped in but refrained, his head dropping as he gritted his teeth. He couldn’t possibly handle watching her share that with someone else. “I’m fine” he mumbled, walking the other way with no regard for the broken cup on the ground.
Torres let out a sigh of relief, continuing to pet Alpine as a wave of calmness washed over him, but just as the waves rolled back the lingering doubt and pain still remained.
“Joaquin, you know I can read you right.” Kaali offered, she could sense the feeling of inadequacy storming through his insides as he buried everything deep within him. She sometimes wished he wasn’t so pure and understanding, she’d rather him fight with her than bottle things up.
“I know.” Torres’ head dropped, his eyes stinging as he kept his gaze on a now purring Alpine. “I sometimes wish it was the other way around.”
Kaali froze, feeling the distance between them now more than ever, at a loss for words, because she didn’t know if she could reassure him and tell him that Bucky wasn’t to be worried about, that he was the only man on her mind but she’d be lying.
“I’m gonna go.” Torres finally cut through the silence, leaning into the screen. Taking her in one last time before letting out a deep breath. “Please take care of yourself.”
Sam had been outside with Zemo all this time, liaising with Sharon about Walker’s whereabouts in the fear that he might actually get to Karli before they did.
That would only lead to more trouble.
Zemo on the other hand had been icing his swollen face, his head heavy as though carrying a tonne of bricks with nails being hammered into his skull. Not a pleasant feeling. Even the sound of Sam’s typing had him shifting positions in pain.
Sam’s head snapped up at the sound of the door slamming shut behind Bucky, brows knitting together in confusion, that was until Kaali walked in, fuming, the blood rushing to her face leaving her flushed and out of breath.
“Where is he?”
“Just left.” Sam didn’t even have to ask to know who’d pissed her off this much, it had become a trend now. Clearly there were unresolved issues between them, especially after whatever happened at the warehouse, Bucky refused to even look Kaali’s way, while all she’d been doing was sulking.
Kaali was grumbling, pacing around the room, her thoughts a mess as she sorted through them. Her heart ached at the sight of Torres, a man that had been so gentle, understanding and sweet, water cooling down her molten core. But there was Bucky, the man that only added fuel to the flame within her chest, taming her into the soft but comforting flicker of a candle, had explored depths of her that she didn’t even know existed, he was everything to her no matter how distant they’d been, there was way too much history to let go.
She used to make fun of the characters stuck in situations like these, yelling at the television ‘get over yourself!’ when they’d sit and panic about all the drama in their life, yet here she was, confused and honestly a pathetic mess.
Zemo groaned right as she approached him. Her stomps caused his head to pound harder. “Must you walk as though you’re part of a patriotic march?”
“What’s up your ass?” Kaali hissed, snatching the glass of whiskey that he’d been balancing on his chest and gulping it down. The corrosive liquid brought her some ease.
“That was mine.” Zemo mentioned, dropping his head back defeatedly when she shrugged. Frankly all she needed now was something to ease her, she didn’t care where it came from, even if that meant sharing with Zemo.
“Why are you so pissed?” Sam asked Kaali half heartedly. He felt as though he had to ask the question at this point, attempting to let her vent, so that maybe she might soften the blow when Bucky walked back in through the doors she had her eyes dead set on.
Kaali was hesitant, she didn’t really want to sit here and tell him about the ridiculous boy drama she was having. She didn’t want to seem sensitive about shit like that, nor did she want to openly admit that when she said she had an important call, she was actually on the phone with a boy she’d been seeing. “He broke a cup and didn’t clean up after himself.” She offered up reluctantly.
This caught Sam’s attention, he turned back to shoot her a look, one that bluntly told her he didn’t believe her and she rolled her eyes.
She didn’t need him to believe her.
“That’s what the sound was.” Zemo nodded, wincing as pain shot up his neck.
“You sure that’s all it was?” Sam pressed, giving her another chance to let go but Kaali nodded sternly. “Change the topic please, I’ll deal with him later.”
Sam surrendered, turning back to his laptop while Kaali stared thoughtfully at her phone, fingers tracing the cracked screen, flicking through possible texts. What could she possibly say to make Torres feel better?
She contemplated if acting as though nothing happened was the best strategy, maybe if she pretended nothing was wrong it wouldn’t seem like a big deal.
Her thumb pressed against the screen, sliding down as she skimmed through their old messages. Kaali only ever messaged him if she had something to tell him about the mission they were on, while he’d been trying hard to keep a normal conversation going. Kaali wasn’t good at the whole texting thing, she didn’t understand how one could have a written conversation, she treated them as though simple check-ins, a quick update while Torres tried his best to make it seem like a proper exchange, one full of emotions, well emojis.
He was so patient with her. Kaali was aware she was nothing like the girls he’d been with in the past. They all were oddly full of colour, vibrant and smiley, while Kaali had been the opposite, full of anger, and annoyance, ready to spew at almost anyone that rubbed her the wrong way.
“Were you ever offered it?” Zemo cut through the silence, head tilting up, clearly he was talking to Sam.
“What?” Sam asked, turning back, leaning onto the back of his chair.
“The serum.” Zemo continued, moving the ice pack around his forehead with a small groan.
Why the fuck did Walker hit him?
“No.” Sam had a subtle smile on his face as he answered, the idea of him being given the serum seemed so far-fetched that he couldn’t help but ridicule Zemo for even asking that question.
“If you had been, hypothetically, that is, would you have taken it?”
The question left Sam confused, but he wasted no time in trying to understand what the fuck it was going through Zemo’s mind. “No.”
“No hesitation. That’s impressive. Kaali?”
“It emphasises everything within you doesn't it?”
“Yes.” Zemo answered, peeking at Kaali who seemed unbothered by the question, typing into her phone.
“My powers are already enough as it is. If I emphasised them I would be uncontrollable. So no. Although I wouldn’t mind being able to slam dunk a couple people every now and then. Starting with Bucky.”
Sam chuckled, as Kaali shrugged at him.
But Zemo pursed his lips, leaning to take a good look at her. “I don’t understand you.” He commented and Kaali only laughed.
“Me neither.”
Zemo grunted, lifting the icy cloth off his face, with a look full of sincerity, it threw Kaali off. She’d only seen his manipulative side, but what was in front was something that seemed more honest. As though out of concern.
“Sam, you can’t hold out hope for Karli.” This had Sam sighing defeatedly having heard enough from him but Zemo continued nonetheless. “No matter what you saw in her, she’s gone. And we cannot allow that she and her acolytes become yet another -no offence -” he paused to glance at Kaali, “faction of gods amongst real people.”
“Why would that offend me?”
“Aren’t you a God?” Zemo confirmed, groaning yet again when he moved his head a little too quickly.
“No. I was blessed by them. There’s a difference.” Kaali let out an exasperated sigh, clearly she’d mentioned this multiple times but everyone ignored her.
Zemo shook his head, slowly this time, and moved on. “Anyways my point is, Super Soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.”
Sam’s brows were knitted together in frustration, Kaali watched him as he picked out words from thin air and struck them down on Zemo, countering his argument, but with a poise. “Isn’t that how Gods talk?”
Zemo averted his gaze, dropping it to the floor, deep in thought.
“And if that’s how you feel, what about Bucky?”
Kaali’s stomach churned at the mention of his name. She’d somehow managed to forget that he was also a Super Soldier, there was probably so much going through his head right now, he was probably torn between the right and the wrong and maybe even sympathised with the counterparty, yet she never asked him that.
“Blood isn’t always the solution.” Sam preached and Kaali hummed in agreement. Proud of her friend.
The main door caught their attention, Bucky strutting in, his hands clenching and unclenching. He’d probably been on one of his walks, something Kaali had seen him do quite often, especially after they used to fight.
He skimmed past Kaali, walking in with a huff as he shrugged his jacket off, gloves already in his hands. “Something’s not right about Walker.”
“You don’t say.” Sam replied, eyes meeting Kaali’s, a knowing smile on his face. Obviously his frustration was misplaced.
“Well, I know a crazy when I see one.” Bucky taunted, causing Sam’s smile to widen. His eyes landed on Kaali as he fixed himself a drink, his throat dry. “Because I am crazy.” Bucky added before taking a sip.
“Can’t argue with that.” Sam’s eyes flew between Kaali and Bucky, the tension causing the air around them to thicken, viscous almost.
When Bucky finally turned away from Kaali, he now targeted Sam. Wiping at the corners of his mouth. “Shouldn’t have given him the shield.”
“I didn’t give him the shield.” Sam sighed, he was sick of having to repeat himself.
“Well, Steve definitely didn’t.”
Bucky was clearly redirecting his frustration with Kaali towards Sam. He knew it himself but he had to get rid of all the pent up anger somehow.
“Guys -” Just as Kaali interjected the door behind them forced open, a very angry Walker and Lemar stormed into the foyer.
“Do you ever fucking lock the door?” Kaali yelled at Bucky who huffed in annoyance, it was a constant nag from her, even when they lived together, sometimes Bucky would forget to lock the door. Did it matter? They were perfectly capable of protecting themselves if need be.
“Alright. That’s it. Let’s go. I’m now ordering you to turn him over.”
Walker pointed to Sam, standing tall. Another pathetic attempt at asserting his dominance. Before Kaali could pound him Sam spoke up, his hand pushed out to stop her in her tracks as he addressed Walker. “Hey, slow your roll. Shield or no shield, the only thing you’re runnin’ in here is your mouth.”
Sam took a moment to check on the others behind him, Kaali, who now had a dangerous look on her face was leaning against the counter, glowering at Walker.
While Zemo was up from the couch, slowly making his way to the other side of the room, maybe he needed a safe corner just in case things got out of hand. Bucky on the other hand was unfazed, sipping down on his drink as though at a bar.
“Now I had Karli, and you overstepped. He’s actually proven himself useful today. We’re gonna need all hands on deck for whatever’s comin’ next.”
“How do you want the rest of this conversation to go, Sam, huh?” He smiled menacingly.
His arrogance made Kaali’s blood boil. Bucky could feel the heat radiating off of her.
When Sam didn’t answer and instead gawked at Walker’s audacity, a cocky smile played at his lips. “Yeah. Should I put down the shield? Make it fair?”
Sam scoffed but Kaali was up on her feet, ready to teach the man a lesson. “You listen here you -” Bucky yanked her back in time as a spear almost grazed her face and struck the column where Walker had just placed his shield.
Of course Kaali’s senses decided not to pick any of this up, it was like a damn loose wire, sometimes the connection is exceptional while other times nonexistent.
Everyone’s head snapped as the woman grunted and stood tall in front of them. “Fuck.” Bucky hissed, sharing a look with Kaali.
They had run out of time.
More of the Dora Milaje entered the room, two of them standing behind a dumbstruck Walker, their spears clutched in their hands, eyes full of vengeance and fury.
Ayo tapped her spear against the ground, addressing Kaali and Bucky directly as she hissed in Wakandan, voice laced with poison. Even if he is a means to your end - Time’s up.
Zemo was slightly flattered, he hadn’t ever seen so many people fight over him before but he definitely did want to go back into prison again, especially with the women that looked as though - if given the opportunity - would rip him to shreds.
“Release him to us now.” Ayo ordered.
Walker clearly didn’t catch on, taking this moment to network rather than understand the severity of it. “Hi. John Walker. Captain America.”
Bucky was met with an annoyed glance from Kaali.
Ayo didn’t respond as the man in front of him pointed at himself with a confident smile. Kaali couldn’t understand how the heck he’d been picked in the first place. While he seemed to have an unwavering sense of self, a very clear asshole energy that he exuded, Kaali could sense the lingering doubt beneath the surface, one that left him trembling, his knees almost buckling. This was almost worse than war for him.
Kaali didn’t have a single doubt in her mind about his capabilities, but she wished he’d take a moment to think his actions through.
The man was trying too hard.
His eyes scanned the ladies in front of them, meeting him with a derogatory look. They had no intention to sit down and chat with him.
“Well, let’s, uh, put down the pointy sticks and we can talk this through, huh?” He held his hands out, motioning them downwards, yet another attempt to take control.
Kaali met Lemar’s eyes with a quizzical look.
She couldn’t understand how someone so quiet and analytical could be around someone so chaotic.
Just as Walker stepped towards them, mouth opening up to speak again Kaali groaned. “Know when to shut up. Please.”
Sam couldn’t help but smile at her desperation and turned back to Walker, warning him. “She’s right. Take it easy. You might wanna fight Bucky before you tangle with the Dora Milaje.”
Walker only rolled his eyes and Kaali, frustrated, ran a hand through her hair, dropping her fists to her sides, balling them up. An all too familiar alarm ringing through her body.
“The Dora Milaje don’t have jurisdiction here.” He had a smile on his face inviting a challenge Kaali was sure he couldn’t take.
Before any of them could step in to divert the situation, Ayo leaned towards him, her eyes a forewarning of what was to come if he didn’t step down. “The Dora Milaje have jurisdiction wherever the Dora Milaje find themselves to be.”
Walker felt a chill creep down his back. “Okay.” He turned back to glance at Lemar, his confidence crumbling in the moment as he met his eyes. Kaali almost felt bad for him, that was until he chuckled and kept going. “Look, I think we got off on the wrong foot.” There was a playfulness to his voice that had Kaali springing into action, his hand clapping against Ayo's shoulder.
In a flash, her kick sent him flying back clanging against the spear before colliding with the floor.
“Oh fuck.” Kaali muttered under her breath as Bucky casually sipped his drink beside her, clicking his tongue in slight amusement. “Looks like it hurt.”
“Seriously guys?” Lemar huffed, lunging at the soldiers before another spear was sent flying his way and Kaali couldn’t help but find herself defending him.
As he was pulled back the length of the spear against his neck, bending him in a way that was surely painful, Kaali distracted the third soldier, meeting her trained moves with her own. She didn’t spend five years training with the best for nothing, although she never thought she’d have to use the moves she’d learnt against the people that trained her in the first place.
Bucky and Sam stood beside each other, intrigued, maybe even impressed by the improvement in Kaali, spear in her hands as they clanged together, pushing against one another to gain control.
“We should do something.” Sam commented as Ayo pounced on Walker, her weapon striking the shield as he struggled to even get back on his feet.
Bucky sighed, his bottom lip wrapping over the top, arms crossed, eyes fixated on the scene in front of him as Ayo went for the kill again, but was blocked. “Looking strong, John!”
The weapon danced around Ayo with such finesse, it was mesmerising, to the point that Walker was almost distracted. Suddenly the spear brushed past his neck and he jumped back, unable to locate his breath.
Kaali grunted in the background as she finally freed Lemar out of the woman’s grip, leaving him on the ground wheezing.
The woman struck her legs, tripping her to the ground, sending her spear back leaving Kaali frozen in her spot.
“Bucky -”
Sam didn’t even get the chance to finish his sentence. Bucky was already on Kaali’s side of the room, the spear in his metal arm, yanking it back with ease and dropping it next to Kaali as she jumped back up on her feet.
He swiftly moved through the room attempting to do the same for Walker but her grip was too tight. His arm rolled back as he tried to get Ayo’s attention.
“Ayo - Let’s talk about this!”
She kept striking at him but Bucky kept halting her attempts with ease.
Lemar was made to collapse by another soldier. Just as she leaned back to go in for the kill Sam caught her spear, diverting her attention to him, while Lemar groaned and grunted.
Kaali’s eyes scanned the room for the cause of all this, Zemo, who’d been stuck in his corner, observing somehow holding the glass she’d stolen off him earlier in his hands. He stepped through the room indifferently, eyes jumping between the three batches of action in the room. He wanted to be bold and appreciate their sentiments for him, but also time was running out.
She caught him slipping behind the doors, but unable to let out a shriek to alert the others as the woman across from her lunged at her yet again.
Instead of the spear striking her, she watched it cut through the air and lock the shield that Walker almost grabbed in place. Walker, frustrated, jostled the shield, attempting to free it but he was too weak.
Bucky’s grunts caught Kaali’s attention and she found herself running his way, Ayo showing him absolutely no mercy and pushed her hand out to jab tactfully at his metal arm. In a mere second his arm detached from his body and struck the ground.
He felt as though he’d been stripped bare, eyes wide as he watched Ayo in disbelief.
Just like that.
Before Ayo could step forward and cause any more damage, Kaali interjected. “The man you’re looking for escaped. You better go look for him.” Her voice came out levelled and stern despite the panic she found herself in at the sight of a cornered Bucky.
Ayo watched them with a scornful look, spitting at them in wakandan before pushing his name off her lips as though a profanity. “James.”
He snatched his detached arm out of Kaali’s hands, never meeting her gaze. A sense of weakness he’d never felt before taking over him. Kaali had seen him without the arm before but never in battle, never in a way that made him look defeated. He felt pathetic, ashamed, and almost as though he was nothing without the arm. It made him feel like he’d been turned to dust all over again with no control over the circumstances.
Kaali on the other hand was fuming, her eyes met Ayo in a fiery stare as she walked out of the room to where Zemo had disappeared. She wanted to claw her down, turn her to ashes then and there.
Walker on the other hand watched as the woman towering over him kicked his shield up to her arm with skill. Even she could carry the shield better than he could. He was weak and nothing compared to the people he was facing. There was no way he could earn their trust and respect like this, he didn’t even know if he could truly ever look at himself the same way. He’d never felt so isolated and helpless in the entirety of his life.
“He is gone. Leave it.” Ayo ordered.
They walked out the door never looking back as Sam finally got back up on his feet. “Did you know they could do that?”
Bucky clicked the arm back in place, groaning as sparks of electricity charged through the left side of his body. With a swift swing back he activated the arm, continuously wiggling his fingers as he got used to it again. His eyes brushed Kaali’s who watched him with pure concern, relief washing over her features when he was somewhat back to normal.
Lemar was back on his feet, checking up on his partner, Walker’s eyes distant as his lip trembled, chest heaving. “You alright man?”
The fight played through his mind, this time painfully slow, pointing out how he’d been on the floor for almost ninety percent of it. Cornered and fear left him limp. How was he supposed to protect the country when he couldn’t even save himself?
“They weren’t even Super Soldiers.”
Lemar’s heart ached at the sight of him, but couldn’t find any words of comfort to offer. “Come on.” He pushed out his hand which Walker accepted, lifting him off the ground.
As they brushed themselves off, Sam greeted them with an unpleasant look, full of anger as he stormed past the two. They always came in to ruin things, like a damn younger sibling wanting to be a part of every activity.
“I can’t believe he pulled an El Chapo.” Sam exclaimed, joining the two as they peered into the room Zemo slipped into. Bucky smiled softly at Kaali, an attempt to tell her that everything was in fact okay before answering “I can.”
He leaned back, sighing, watching the two stare at the open grate underneath the bathtub. “Come on.”
Their attempt to find Zemo left them exhausted as Bucky guided them through the streets of Latvia unable to come to terms with the fact that maybe they in fact had lost him. He was sure they hadn’t and Zemo had been helpful so far, there was no way he could let the Dora Milaje get to him before they could.
They all fell back exhausted from the events of the day, Kaali made sure to lock the door this time but was uneasy at the mess their ‘base’ was in, broken glass everywhere, crunching underneath her boots, most of the furniture either tipped over or out of place.
Bucky plopped himself onto the couch as Sam grabbed a fallen chair, straddling it. His arms rested in the back support peering at the two.
“That was…” he paused, unable to really find the right words and watched Kaali drop to the ground sitting cross legged.
“I don’t like Walker.” Kaali announced as though it was a new revelation. This made Bucky scoff.
“Join the club.”
“I really tried, you know? I don’t like being unnecessarily mean to people I don’t know well, especially people that radiate insecurity but that guy -“ she groaned in frustration. “He ruins everything!”
“I asked Sharon to keep an eye on him. Hopefully he doesn’t try and pull something stupid again.” Sam added, his eyelids heavy from exhaustion.
“That’s most definitely going to happen.” Kaali grunted, clutching her side which felt tight. She must’ve bent the wrong way or something in the encounter.
Bucky’s eyes were trained on her as she stretched, Sam was massaging his shoulder.
“When did you start fighting like that?” Sam now sat next to her, his undivided attention on Kaali who could also feel Bucky’s intense stare. She knew he’d be using this information to piece together the last five years of her life.
Kaali had never been a combat fighter, she was good enough to hold her ground but most of the time she was fighting against people she allowed herself to use her gifts towards, so knowing how to throw a flying kick was never an issue. Until she’d lost her powers, she needed to find ways to keep going, gain control over some part of her life, still protect or do good somehow.
“After the blip.” She paused hesitantly, eyes mingling with Bucky’s before she finally dropped her head and continued. “I lost my powers. My people turned me away, they wanted nothing to do with me, so the Wakandans offered me their home.”
The influx of information almost left Bucky dizzy, the thought of Kaali being left all alone, stranded by her own people, the ones that she’d done so much to protect, the helplessness he felt in the moment was caustic.
Sam gulped, he tried looking out for her, being there for her like she did. No questions asked if she wanted him there he’d do anything and everything to help but he never had the chance to repay her and support her in the way that she supported him.
“They trained me while I stayed with them, and then I learnt some stuff practicing with Natasha.” She smiled ruefully. Distracting herself with a ball of fire ignited between her hands, moulding it around her fingers like clay.
Her face was iridescent. They hadn’t even bothered to turn the lights on when they walked in.
It was obvious that Bucky felt guilty, when she’d told him he wasn’t the only one that owed the Wakandans, he’d been arrogant enough to think that she was talking about him. That he’d meant so much to her that she felt indebted to them too, but Kaali had been through so much on her own that he was starting to feel a bit stranded. He’d somehow lost her in the years that felt like mere seconds to him.
Kaali channeled all her loss into her training. The focus helped her spark her powers back, to a point where she could control them better than she did before, only to have to start again.
Sam had only heard rumours, about the brave Phoenix that wore the gauntlet and snapped everyone back into existence, how a person, tiny compared to the hulk was the only one that could handle the intensity of the stones, letting the destructive power of the infinity stones run through her veins as she let her fingers meet. He’d seen the effects of it too, her left hand burnt, covered by inkings to hide their severity. The articles he’d read would go on and on about her falling out with her people, painting her as a selfish character, one that defied death solely so she could reunite with her lost lover, that Tony had no choice but to take matters into his own hands, quite literally, because Kaali had refused to do something that the prophecies said she’d do, which was to save her people.
Sam knew how damaging rumours could be, he knew that out of all the stories webbed together only a spec was true. No one talked about her losing control over her powers all over again, and having to relearn everything a second time because the stones left her insides in disarray. No one talked about the damage that losing her family all over again caused her, no one even commended her for being the reason why half of the world’s population could make their way back to the ones they’d left behind.
Distracted by Tony’s death and Steve’s disappearance, the only thing Kaali was recognised for was the fact that she was the reason why all of this happened in the first place.
There were no further questions asked, no one pressed Kaali to go into further details, even though it was obvious they all wanted to be there for her in every way shape and form. A comfortable silence blanketed them, highlighting the end of another day.
“You did well kid.” Sam smiled genuinely, his hand reaching out to pat her knee, giving it a slight squeeze. A knot pushed up her throat as she nodded frankly, appreciating his words but not having enough strength to say anything back.
Bucky felt out of place, boxed away from everything in front of him. The more time he spent around Kaali, waiting as she slowly unravelled before him, the more he realised how unfair he’d been. Expecting that things would pick up right where they left them simply because he wanted so badly to avoid his past, he wanted to move on and live a happier life, and he wanted all those things with Kaali, never considering the things that she’d have gone through in his absence. In an attempt to pick things up right where they left off he’d driven her away from him.
“Well I’m beat.” Sam sighed, slapping the ground next to him before springing up onto his feet. “Let’s get some rest before god knows what happens tomorrow.”
Right as Kaali followed she felt Bucky hand wrap softly around her wrist, pulling her back. His iris’ a stormy blend of colours eclipsed by his enlarged pupils, remorse etched into his features. Bucky was on his feet, his hands never leaving Kaali’s, the warmth from Kaali’s palms setting alight a crackling fire in his chest.
His touch left Kaali in a trance, encapsulated by him as her own hand clutched onto his out of habit.
“I shouldn’t have said what I said earlier.” He started, his throat suddenly dry, he hadn’t been alone with Kaali like this in so long that it was suddenly very overwhelming to him. Their close proximity left him yearning for more but he knew he couldn’t cross that line. “I -”
Sorry was a nonexistent word in both of their dictionaries, and they were well aware of it. It was out of pride, but the closer they got the more they realised how hard it was to actually say those words. It was a word slapped on as a bandage on wounds that were too big to be covered, no matter how many times you’d cover it, or replace it, somehow the wound still exists, scarring the tissue surrounding it, a time stamp for weakness. The word held no significance to them and was something they used in passing, so the only thing left for them to do was use their actions. But how could Bucky even begin to express the weight of the guilt he’d been feeling when, even holding her hand felt like a damn sin.
“It’s fine. You don’t have to say it.” Kaali cut him off, using her other hand to pat his vibranium one, a tight lipped smile on her face. She didn’t want him to let go but she couldn’t say that to him.
Bucky wanted to unload right in front of her, cry to her about the shit tonne of feelings that were weighing down on him, how knowing she was with someone else made his skin crawl, yell at her for letting him walk away, anything to feel her arms wrap around him the comforting way they did when they were going through something similar but he was frozen.
It wasn’t like Kaali couldn’t tell how torn he’d been, but her own feelings echoed his, a slight crack in her resolve forming at the core which had her stepping back reluctantly.
“I should go.”
Chapter 7
************************************************************************Feedback welcomed as always!
Still don't have a name for the overall series so if you have any suggestions feel free to enlighten me.
Taglist: @allegra-writes @seolaseoul @shortsighted-fish @hallecarey1 @thepotatoprincess @untouchablechickennugget @book-wan3
(let me know if you'd like to be part of the taglist!)
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coldfingers-warmheart · 4 hours ago
𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬
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summary: bucky becomes more distant and you start to think what you could’ve done wrong
warnings: angst, some flashbacks (in italic), distant bucky, fwb!bucky, tfatws!bucky, hurt reader, swear words, mention of drinking, implied smut (18+), minors dni
a/n: part iii of the series sweet | this is right after we were left with sweet taste sorry if this didn’t make much sense but let’s consider it as a bridge :)
When you got out of the bathroom, you were glad nobody was waiting at the door or something like that. You went back to the living room where your friend were.
“Sooo, did you meet anybody?” Your friend asked, bumping your shoulder with hers. She was always a curious cat, especially on your love life.
“Nobody interesting.” You neglected her as your eyes wandered inside the house; you were looking for Bucky. Something was wrong, he was never this neglectful, and you were sensing it was because of you.
“I saw you talking with a friend of Sam, Bucky. I may even asked Sam if he was available and said he was more than available and was looking for a relationship.” You were almost going to choke on your spit when you heard she what she said.
Was he looking for a relationship? Was he looking for one with you?
“You didn’t have to do that. You know I hate match making!” You were loud that you could see some heads turn towards you.
“But you are also not capable of finding yourself a nice one. If you are worried about what Sam would think, then don’t. He got his ass drunk, he won’t remember it in the morning trust me. I’d be surprised if he remembers we had a party.” Your friend answered but you were not worrying about Sam, you were worrying about Bucky.
You shrugged at her joke. “I’d love to chat with you more but I need to get back. I’ll definitely call you when I get back though.” You said checking your bag to pull out your car keys.
She put her hand on yours; stopping you. “You know you can’t drive. Why don’t you stay the night?”
“I’d love to but—“ As you were trailing why you couldn’t stay the night; Sam interrupted you when both of them showed up with Sam’s arm wrapped around Bucky’s shoulder.
“Bucky can take her back.” “He can’t get drunk, and has a really good night vision. Also I’m drunk too, and your friend can’t drive at night, so he is your best and only choice.” He explained but you could, everybody could, see the dark clouds in Bucky’s eyes and you knew it was not for something good.
“It’s dangerous for you to drive back. I can drive you, no big deal.” He explained, knew you had doubts.
Even though you tried to find an excuse, you couldn’t find any, you were stuck with him as your only hope.
The car ride was silent and tense, you felt like he would start screaming if you tried to say something.
“You really didn’t—“ You wanted to say something nice but he cut you.
“I really did. You drank at least three glasses. I’m surprised you’re not drunk already. You don’t have a high tolerance.” You smiled as a rush of a familiar memory came back.
You saw him looking at you as you dropped your shot glass back on the table. You saw how he flipped the guy over earlier, you couldn’t help but wonder if he could flip you that easily in bed.
“You know it’s rude to stare.” You said as you walked over him.
“Oh, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes on me. You were the one who stared first.” He said, smiling as he leaned over your figure.
“Could you blame me?” He smiled at your response, eyes looking at your short dress, the one you brought for your ex.
You saw how he licked his bottom lip to the sight. “No I can’t; I’m drunk, my mind is not working that great.” He chuckled at your response.
“What I drank in Madripoor was definitely stronger than this cocktail.” You informed him.
“If you say so.” He was not looking at you, steady face like the day you met him. His Soldier face.
“Is something wrong? You act more—“ You trailed on, thinking about the next word. “—distant.”
“Nothing is wrong.” He didn’t even flick at your question, which made you more sure something was wrong.
“You know even though I’m not a trained soldier I can tell when you lie.”
“Nothing for you to worry about.” He turned to you for a few second and smiled. His smile looked broken. You shook your head and turned to road.
“Do you want to quit?” You asked, what your friend said was still haunting you.
“Where does this come from? Why would I want to quit?”
“I don’t know, maybe I’m over thinking again. You know it is not my best quality.” Your hands went to your face, rubbing small circles on your temples.
“Do you want to?” He asked, now he looked worried, but you couldn’t say which answer he was worried to hear.
This was the second time quitting was put on the table. First one was when you first started this.
“Okay we need to have some ground rules since we keep ‘bumping into’ each other. And I believe we’re going to keep doing this.” You explained as you put on your jeans.
“Rules?” He asked, raising his head from the pillow to see you get dressed.
Why were you getting dressed? Weren’t you going to stay with him?
“Yeah, rules. You can quit this if you don’t want to, but I need to have some, so nobody would get hurt.” When you meant nobody; you meant yourself.
Your hands went to your arms, you hugged yourself and leaned to the door of the car looking at the city in the night time.
“You told me you hated people touching you, remember?” He turned to you again, where were all these questions coming from?
He throw himself next to you, both of you were breathless and his cheeks were flushed in a sweet pink colour you loved to see on him. His dog tags turned upside down, and his hair was a mess.
You turned your body towards his, resting on your elbows as you tried to fix his hair at least but he stopped you. Catching your hand mid air by his metal one, gently squeezing it.
“Don’t, I don’t like it when people touch me.” He said and he let go of your hand.
It landed on your soft coloured sheets, which highlighted his metal arm. They were polar opposites and he felt like he didn’t fit into this picture.
“I’m sorry... I didn’t know— didn’t think it would be—“ You felt ashamed, it was your first time trying to touch him, apparently the times you touched him during sex didn’t count. He could anticipate them.
“You don’t need to be sorry. You didn’t know.” He felt terrible when he saw how much he made you upset. He didn’t mean to do that, he just didn’t like it when people touched him when he didn’t saw it coming.
“Do you mean the one in your place?” He asked you, he could remember the day clearly. You nodded. “Yeah, I still don’t.” He said it like it was no big deal, but he could still see how much he hurt you by doing that.
“Then why was the girl at the party was wrapped around your arm like that?” He sighed to your protest, he couldn’t know how to answer that.
“What did you want me to do? Should I push her away?”
“You did it to me.” You sounded hurt, he hurt you.
“We were in a public, also she is a friend.” So his friends could touch him?
“Apparently I’m less than that.” You snapped and he tried to open his mouth to say something but he couldn’t find what to say. Rest of the car ride was spent in silence.
You sighed when you made it back to your place. You opened the door and stepped out of the car.
Were you the one being illogical? She was a friend but you were not, even though you talked two or three times each week and have sex more than that. He was sweet and understanding, he was sweeter than this.
“Can you wait for me?” He shouted behind your back, walking towards you as you stood in front of your door.
“Why? What was left there to say?”
“You’re being sensitive. There is nothing between with me and her.” Also there is nothing between you and me.
You added this in your hand, shaking your head as you felt a tear forming in your eye.
No no no! You shouldn’t be in this position, you shouldn’t feel like that! You had those rules for a reason!
You took a step back when he saw the tear fell from your cheek. He whispered your name but you raised your hand to stop him. “Is this all because a girl touched me?” You shook your head, wiping away the tear.
“No. I’m okay. We’ll talk later. Good night Bucky.” You said as you turned towards the door, unlocking it.
He called you again but you shut the door making it unavailable for you to hear him. As you walked up the stairs, some good memories rushed towards you too.
“Ohh.” You said as he took of his Henley. Your mouth watering with the sight.
“Is something wrong?” He asked as he crawled over you, kissing your bare thighs. His stubble making you giggle.
“No, nothing is wrong! Oh!” You moaned when his lips found your mound, licking a thick strap over it before closing them around your little bulb. He sucked it gently before he continued kissing all over your body.
“If you say so.” His lips trailed over your breasts, kissing and licking each one before trailing off to your neck and sucking your pulse point.
“Hmm, I could get used to getting spoiled like this.” You whispered as he kissed over your chin, smiling at you.
“Oh, this is not even the part I spoil you.” He said raising his eyebrows before kissing you feverishly. You could taste yourself on his tongue when he pushed it inside your mouth, licking along yours.
His hands went to your thighs, slowly separating them as he settled between your legs. A cold and a warm touch, making you whimper.
You shook your head to the memory, he wasn’t that sweet anymore. He got more distant and it was obvious.
You unlocked the door to your place and entered inside, even though he changed at least he still cared about you. Maybe you could be less pushy about your questions, you wouldn’t end up like this.
Since you didn’t know what happened or how could you find it out, all you could do was to give him some space and time to figure things out.
You also needed some time to figure things out too, maybe it was for the best.
“Did you think about those rules before?” Bucky asked as he watched you getting dress. He was smiling at you, but the fact that you didn’t want anything from him was not that different if you stabbed him in the chest.
“Not that much, these are what comes to my mind. So you are okay?” He wasn’t.
“Yeah I’m okay. We can do this. How hard it can be?” It was going to be hard. But if that was going to make you stay with him, he could bury his feelings. Right?
a/n: please give me some feedbacks (comments/reblogs)
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navybrat817 · 4 hours ago
A bucky barnes and dean winchester fic?? Have I died and gone to heaven??
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Thanks, lovely! 💖 I'm glad so many people are excited and low-key nervous it won't love it up to expectations 😂. I'm going to have fun with it and can't wait to share. 💖
Love, thanks and happy reading! 💖💖💖
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marvelousmaize · 4 hours ago
no rules in breakable heaven
What started out as nothing more than a thinly-veiled excuse to be able to write a fun, delightful little summer romp in my favorite city in the world turned out to be - well, still that, but with a bit of a slice of life for a man who finally finds his place, his people, and his happiness after seventy years of being beholden to others. This is predominantly a SamBucky fic, with the barest of allusions to an eventual SamBuckySharon. It’s completely self-indulgent friends. You’ve been warned. 
Fandom: Marvel, MCU, the Falcon and the Winter Soldier Relationship: SamBucky, pre-SamBuckySharon Rating: Explicit Tags: post-Canon, Roommates, Fluff, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Getting Together, Smut, Dom/Sub Undertones Word Count: ~ 11.3K Summary:
The thing about plans is that Bucky is perfectly fine not making any.
In which Bucky moves to DC, gets a job, moves in with Sharon, downloads TikTok, buys furniture from the flashiest thrift shop ever, and can’t stop thinking about Sam’s smile, Sam’s bone-deep goodness, the way Sam’s body looks in that new suit --
Well. Shit.
read now on ao3!
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messrfeathers-ficrecs · 4 hours ago
I Care For You by @dovemouth
On the Horizon by @itsapeterthing
You Seriously Called My Wife? by @mcuimaginesandstuff
My Girl by @cosmicloki 
If A Look Could Kill by @milliedazzledust
Trouble Doubled by @certifiedskywalker 
Soulmate AUs
Teddy Bear by @softlybarnes
Daisy Chain by @belowva
Because the Sky is Blue by @belowva
Know You Better by @itsapeterthing
Practice makes Perfect by @navybrat817 
Healing and Healed by @softlybarnes 
Anger That Loves by @babyboibucky 
Sleeping Alone by @sleepypanda27
Flowers by @samwilsons-pillowpecs 
A Matter of Time by @hannoelle 
Leaving Notice by @wxntersoldiers 
Four Years and a Countdown by @sweetlyscared  (This story, while it is Bucky x reader, is from Steve’s perspective and is about his unrequited love for y/n.) 
Heart of the Night by @lailannajacobs
Smuggled Goods by @buckysbunny 
Deadweight by @loving-bucky-is-easier 
In the Right Hands by @loving-bucky-is-easier 
Graveyard by @wkemeup
Crawl Home to Her by @wkemeup (I love everything I have read by Kas, but these two are my favorites so far. They are so well written and unique and I would and have reread them which is something I cannot say about a lot of the fanfiction that I have read.)
Secret Admirer by @multi-stann 
be still my foolish heart (don’t ruin this on me) by @cupidsbarnes 
First Name Basis by @baroquebucky
You’re Not Going to Work by @winter-soldier-vibes 
Nothing Much Happens by @allmyspideys 
Sleepyhead by @tom-holland-parker 
W/Out Reader
A Second Chance by @samwilsons-pillowpecs
dog tags by @baroquebucky
His First Name (drabble) by @belladonnabarnes
The Winter Soldier
I’ll Come Back for You by @milliedazzledust 
Two-Parts and Series
How to Make the Right Decision in Five Simple Steps by @certifiedskywalker (this is the second part of the duo but it has a link to the first part.)
Guiding light by @wkemeup
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cherienymphe · 4 hours ago
Goosebumps (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
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WARNINGS: NON-CON, alluded to Non-con, alluded to dub-con, alluded to abusive relationships, manipulation, roofie use, infidelity, violence (attempted drowning), brief side of Steve x reader 
! By proceeding you are acknowledging that you are over 18 and are consenting to the content below the cut !
➥ {page breaks done by @whimsicalrogers​}
summary: Living with your roommate was a dream come true...until she met Bucky.
Living with a roommate at your age seemed so silly. You were a college graduate, considering going for your Master’s even, and a roommate just seemed so juvenile. It didn’t matter to you how fun Friends made it look. It just didn’t appeal to you. 
Then you met her. 
She liked to go by “B”. That was what she had told you when you met for coffee at a nearby cafe, an attempt to feel each other out if only just to put your mind at ease. You were desperate to lighten some of the weight on your shoulders, she was no different, so it was unspoken that even if you didn’t really care for each other, desperate times called for desperate measures. 
“All of my friends just call me B,” she’d said with a shrug, sipping on a Frappuccino that had way more milk than coffee. “I have a horrid name.”
You had chuckled, feeling a bit more relaxed at her light personality. 
“It’s good that you’re so enthusiastic about this. I was prepared to cohabitate with a stranger for the better part of a year,” you’d honestly replied. 
She waved her hand. 
“That sounds so depressing. I figure if we’re going to be sharing a living space, we might as well make the most of it and at least attempt to be friends.” 
You nodded, liking her reasoning and outlook, and as it turns out, she was right. B was really easy to get along with. She was clean and responsible and respectful about your space. She put things back where she found them, she wasn’t loud throughout all hours of the night, and she even brought out a side of you that you didn’t know existed. Living with B was a dream come true…
Until she met Bucky. 
The strawberry blonde was far from a lonely girl, her bedroom no stranger to the occasional guest. You didn’t judge. After all, you’d had your fair share of hookups here and there too, and that was exactly what Bucky was at first. A hookup. 
You had stumbled into the kitchen in the middle of the night, throat dry and stomach protesting as you went in search of something to eat. The microwave light was on, casting a low glow over the otherwise dark room, and you hadn’t been able to bite back your sharp yelp at the shadowy figure standing in the corner of the room. 
Light flooded the kitchen, and you blinked. 
“You got some lungs on you.”
You had stared at the strange man in shock. He was leaning against the counter, nursing a glass of alcohol. Your alcohol, you had thought with narrowed eyes. He was half dressed, grey sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips, the bands of muscle that was his chest and arms on display. 
“ are?” you had eventually asked after clearing your throat. 
He didn’t respond right away, opting instead to drag his deep blue gaze over you...slowly and in a way that made you uncomfortable. You suddenly felt very naked in your oversized t-shirt even though it came past your knees. You crossed your arms over your chest, taking a step back, and the stranger smirked. 
“You must be the roommate,” he said, eyes meeting yours again. “B told me she had one.” 
You nodded at that, having already surmised that this was B’s fling for the night. He still had yet to tell you his name, and if you didn’t know any better, his smirk grew, lips curling in a way that you didn’t like. 
“I’m Bucky,” he’d finally introduced, sticking his hand out. 
You reluctantly shook it, snatching your hand away when his index finger brushed along the inside of your wrist. He hummed, and you quietly told him your name, turning away to peer inside the fridge. You could feel his gaze boring into your back, and you fought to ignore it. 
“Is B asleep?” you asked after a while. 
He chuckled, and the sound of it made your skin prick. It sounded humorous, but in a way that made you feel like there was a joke you weren’t in on. 
“She was practically passed out before we even got in the door.” 
You swore you had never turned around so fast in your life. The fridge clicked shut behind you as you stared at him, eyes stricken and brows furrowed. Your heart dropped to your stomach as you took a step towards him. 
“Excuse me?”
He pursed his lips, like he was trying to fight back a smile, and he suddenly chuckled. 
“I was exaggerating. A little dark humor…”
You didn’t respond, finding no humor in the situation, and he scoffed. You watched as he brought the glass to his lips, his blue eyes focused on you as he took a sip. 
“Don’t worry, doll. It was perfectly consensual,” he told you. 
There was something in his gaze that gave you pause, a certain gleam that caused a shudder to travel down your spine. There was a part of you that didn’t believe him, a part of you that wanted to accuse him of something dark and serious. However, a larger part of you called you silly. After all, what could you do besides ask B tomorrow what had really happened? 
Breaking the gaze, you glanced away, swallowing with a nod. You suddenly had no appetite, and you left the kitchen empty handed, leaving him there to nurse his drink alone. You had been tempted to tell him to reimburse you, but you were sure you’d never see him again so what did it really matter? On the rare occasion that you ran into any of her hookups, you never saw them again. This unnervingly attractive blue-eyed stranger with his dark gaze and secretive smiles would be no different. 
So imagine your shock to find him on your couch a week later. 
You had actually dropped your purse in surprise, the clatter drawing his attention from his phone. You swallowed, hurriedly picking it up and clutching it to you, face falling as your eyes met his. You straightened, the silence bordering on uncomfortable as you frowned at him. 
He slowly leaned back into the couch, throwing an ankle onto his knee as he spread his arms along the back of the white pleather. In the natural lighting that came from the evening sun, you took the time to really study him. Study this man who put you so on edge. 
His dark hair was short, far from a buzz cut, but just lengthy enough to be styled. He had sharp features, light facial hair on his face surrounding his pink lips. Said lips were curved upwards just a tad, a small smirk on them as he eyed you. He was dressed nicely, you noted, a dark t-shirt paired with equally dark slacks. It was topped off with a black blazer. He lounged on the couch you bought like he lived here, and distaste filled your mouth. 
Your mind whirled just as he spoke. 
“Hey,” he simply said, but the single word seemed to hold a myriad of meanings. 
You didn’t respond, simply turning away from him so dismissively you swore you heard him scoff. You made your way to B’s room, the two of you so close now that it was nothing of you to just walk in. She had just slipped a bright red dress on, the relieved reflection of her face meeting yours through the mirror. 
“Thank God you’re here! Can you zip me up?”
You shut the door behind you and did as she asked. 
“You’re seeing that guy again?”
She seemed distracted, and it took her a minute to register your words. 
“Hmm? Bucky? Oh yeah. He’s sexy, isn’t he?”
“...I guess…”
You personally would’ve used other words to describe him. 
“You’ve met him before, right? Last week after I finally crashed…”
That morning after, she had assured you that they both had been wasted and she’d been more than eager to have sex with him. However, from what you could remember, he’d seemed as sober as a saint as he stood in your kitchen. 
“Yeah, I just...I didn’t think you’d see him again.” 
“I know right?”
You watched as she flurried around the room, putting on an anklet here, blotting her lips there. 
“You know I’m far from a relationship kind of girl, but there’s something about him. He’s so different from the other guys I see.”
You didn’t know how to respond to that, so you simply hummed. She finally grabbed her clutch, shaking out her hair one last time before finally seeming satisfied. She grinned at you. 
“We’re kind of doing things backwards but wish me luck!”
You turned to watch her as she exited her room, Bucky rising as she neared. You didn’t hear the words being exchanged, but he had a bright grin on his face as he looked her over, saying something that made her giggle. He leaned in to kiss her cheek, and his eyes met yours as he did so. They weren’t so bright now, smile fading. Your eyes narrowed at the way he seemed to hold her upper arm, and you could do nothing more but stare as he led her out, B departing with a wave over her shoulder. 
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You grimaced as you exited your bathroom, a familiar and unwelcome noise greeting you at 3 in the morning. Even through two walls, you could hear B’s labored breathing and Bucky’s deep grunts. Disgust filled you for more than one reason. 
When you had run into Bucky that night, you thought it was going to be another one night stand. When he’d showed up in your living room a week later, B eagerly preparing for a date, you thought a fling at most. Lasting a few weeks tops. Yet, here you were, over a year later and Bucky was still a constant presence in your lives. 
“We’re getting kind of serious,” B had told you just before going on the fifth date in a row with him. 
You didn’t think she meant it at the time. You had been in denial, unable to accept what was actually happening and your feelings regarding it. By the time their 8 month anniversary came around, you had no choice but to come to terms with the fact that Bucky wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. 
He started frequenting the apartment a lot more. He was there when you woke up and was there when you went to bed. He was on the couch, B in his lap when you came home from work. Sometimes he was even in the kitchen when you ventured from your room late at night, your way of avoiding him only proving to do the opposite. He was always just...there, and it drove you up the wall. 
“Let me guess, he’s an ass?” a coworker had asked one day. 
“No, not...not really I guess.”
Your reply wasn’t convincing, but it was the truth. He was never outwardly rude. Truth be told, you didn’t interact with him much to even accurately say. 
“Does he smell? I had a boyfriend once who, turns out, wasn’t properly wiping his butt,” another coworker had chimed in. 
“No, God no.” 
“Does he treat her like shit?”
“Is he messy?” 
“Don’t tell me he still thinks racist jokes are funny?”
Questions like these were always thrown at you, and every time you gave the same answer. 
“No, nothing like that at all.”
And every time you would get the same response. 
“So what exactly is the problem?”
And the answer would be right there on the tip of your tongue, begging for release. It was just there below the surface, but you swallowed it down each and every time, too far in denial about your feelings. Until one day, it had tumbled out without your consent. 
“I hate him.”
Your coworkers had looked at you in shock, and you understood why. You said it with so much conviction, so dramatically that you’d think Bucky had ran over your cat and then danced on her grave. You had practically spat the answer out, lips trembling and goosebumps erupting over your flesh at the thought of the dark haired man. 
You had finally admitted it. 
You’d finally accepted what you had so long been denying. You hated Bucky Barnes, and maybe hate was such a strong word to use, but how else would you categorize it? How else would you explain the way your heart fell into your stomach every time he came around? The nausea that swirled in your gut with so much as a glance from him? The way his very presence seemed to evoke such a strong physical reaction from you that you were sure you were going to be sick? 
“...why?” they had asked, confusion coloring their features, and what else could you do but shrug? 
Because the truth was that…
“I don’t know.” 
“You don’t know?” 
“Look, I know how it sounds, okay? I know that, but...he’s not good for her. I don’t know how I know that, but I just do. There’s just something not right about him.” 
It sounded so silly when you said it out loud, and even your coworkers frowned, but their gazes grew sympathetic with one look at your face. Even if you seemingly had no good reason to do so, it was clear as day that your feelings about him were genuine. You hated him, and a small part of you that you had been trying to ignore, whispered something else in your ear. Something that you had never even wanted to think. 
On some small scale, you were afraid of him. 
“Have you told her?”
You scoffed. 
“...and what would I say when she asks why? The same thing I just told you? She’d laugh in my face and with good reason.”
B was smitten. She was the happiest you had ever seen her, and it was almost enough to make you do some soul searching. After all, someone who was supposedly awful couldn’t possibly make her that happy, right? Clearly, she saw a part of him that you didn’t, and how could she not? She spent so much time with him while you avoided him like the plague. 
But it wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to give him a chance, because you most certainly had. You had tried so hard to like him, to see what she saw, and part of you did. He had hypnotic blue eyes, an enviable bone structure, and baby pink lips that would draw in just about any woman. It didn’t hurt that he had the kind of body you’d only see on perfectly casted tv show heartthrobs, but the illusion always gave way to something more. 
You could only see the way those deep blues perfectly hid what he was really thinking, making you wonder if B even really knew him at all. Sometimes they’d flash with something so dark it froze you, but it would be gone just as quickly, and you’d wonder to yourself if you imagined it. When you thought about those pink lips, you only thought of his secretive smiles and mocking smirks, like he was always in on some joke that you weren’t privy to. That perfect body that would make any woman swoon, that should make you swoon, only gave way to thoughts about how easy it must be for him to hurt someone. To hold someone down and do anything he wanted to them. 
You could only think about what kind of disturbing things such a pretty package could hide. 
The more you thought about it, the crazier you sounded, you decided. You knew how you sounded, knew that you had no legitimate reason to hate this man, to be so afraid of him. That was what you kept telling yourself, but as you stepped into your house that evening, suspicious eyes meeting his, you knew that you weren’t wrong. He smirked at you as he neared you, and it was that look right there. 
That gleam in his eye was the cause of all of your problems. 
There was something predatory in his gaze whenever his eyes landed on you. They glinted with a dangerous mirth and curiosity and something borderline disturbing that you just couldn’t put your finger on. He’d tilt his head at you, like he was doing now, and he’d run his eyes over you in a way that made you feel so incredibly vulnerable. It was almost like he was sizing you up every time he looked at you. For didn’t know. 
“B went to get takeout. You like Chinese right?” 
“Uh...yeah,” you said, moving past him. “...but I’m actually not that hungry. I think I’m gonna just turn in early.”
You could feel his gaze on you, practically feel his feet almost catching onto yours as he followed you into the kitchen. He was leaning against the doorway as you put your empty lunch container in the sink. The silence was awkward, suffocating, but they always were with you two. 
God, you couldn’t wait until they broke up. 
“You say that just about every night.”
His tone came off accusatory, and you turned to frown at him. 
“Well, I get up early almost every morning. I can’t exactly afford to be a night owl,” you replied. 
Now it was your tone that was accusatory. You didn’t know what Bucky did for a living, but he was always able to spoil B with the most lavish gifts, take her on trips you could only dream about, and drive her around in his expensive car. The mystery surrounding how he was able to afford such a lifestyle only served to further unnerve you. 
If you didn’t know any better, you’d say that Bucky picked up on your tone. His jaw ticked, eyes narrowing just a tad as he studied you. Uncomfortable with his very presence, and having nothing more to say, you wished him a good night before slipping past him. 
You both knew it wasn’t genuine. 
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For the first time in over a year, you finally felt like you weren’t crazy. God it felt so good to be right, but how unfortunate it was that you were. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t even much, not nearly as bad as it could’ve been, but the simultaneous satisfaction and anger and disappointment that tore through you as you stared at Bucky couldn’t be ignored. 
You realized that some part of you wanted to be wrong. For B’s sake. 
It was a rare night out for you. B had talked you into putting on some skimpy outfit with glossy lips and done up hair before dragging you outside into the awaiting nightlife. You had thought that it was going to be just the two of you. You should’ve clocked it when she told you that you wouldn’t need your car keys. 
Bucky and his fancy car had awaited you both downstairs. He was dressed as impeccably as always, B practically jumping into his awaiting arms as he caught her with a deep kiss. You had looked away, anger and annoyance simmering inside of you as you realized this night would not go as planned. 
You were reluctant to do so as B instructed you to “hop in” into his convertible. She was making herself comfortable in the passenger seat, and you had eyed the car with a grimace while fingering your short dress. Before you had time to figure out how to maneuver yourself into the backseat, warm and unfamiliar hands were on your waist. 
You had jerked at his touch, stomach turning violently as he pulled you against him, forcing your back to his chest. Before you had time to voice your displeasure, he was lifting you. Just a tad, only enough to sit you on the car, and you were quick to swing your legs inside, sliding out of his tight grip, shuddering when his fingers brushed over you as you did so. 
You glared up at him, but he was already making his way to the driver’s seat. B, either oblivious or unconcerned with the whole thing, was reapplying her lipstick in the mirror. The rational part of your brain told you that he had only helped you into the car. You’d needed it, after all, but the part that absolutely detested this man disagreed. 
Was it just you, or had he taken a deep breath as he pulled you against him? Surely you imagined the way his fingers seemed to almost knead into your sides as he briefly held you. Or the way they lingered when you rushed to get out of his hold. You were imagining things. For your own sanity, you told yourself you were imagining things. 
But you weren’t imagining this. 
The three of you found yourselves inside of the 4th club of the night. You’d gotten separated from them somehow, but it was of no concern. You were away from Bucky and that was all that mattered. But then you had wanted to find B, and you couldn’t. The flashing lights and crowds of swaying bodies made it hard to do so, so you’d texted her. Then called her. And then FaceTimed her. 
You’d gotten no response to all three, and you’d started to worry. However, you told yourself that she was with Bucky so clearly she was alright. Somehow, that knowledge did little to reassure you, but you at least figured that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. 
But you were wrong. 
She wasn’t with Bucky, because Bucky was here, in front of you, chatting up some leggy brunette. 
You had come up short, brows furrowed and lips parting as you watched the way he leaned a hand against the wall, partially caging the other woman in. She didn’t seem to mind, grinning up at him with a look in her eyes that you knew all too well. The worst part was that Bucky was looking at her the same way. Your heart stuttered as he stepped closer, a smirk on his lips as his other hand came up to brush over her shoulder. 
An anger like no other filled you, and you marched towards them. You had wanted to be right. You had wanted to be right so badly, but not like this. You didn’t want to be right at the sake of your friend’s feelings, in the worst way possible. 
You had grabbed his arm so harshly it was a wonder he didn’t stumble. He seemed momentarily shocked, even a little annoyed at the interruption, but his features evened out as his eyes landed on you. As if it was ‘oh, just you’. In fact, his smirk returned at the sight of you, and you wanted to punch it right off of his pretty face. 
“I can’t find B. Help me look for her.”
Your tone was harsh, accusatory and venomous as you glared at him. His own eyes narrowed at you, lip twitching just a tad as he ran his eyes over you. 
“Who’s B?” the mystery woman asked, and you were all too eager to answer before he did. 
“His girlfriend,” you spat at her. 
She seemed a bit taken aback, eyebrows raising in mild surprise, but it was clear that she wasn’t all that shocked. You wondered if she could also see right through him. Maybe you weren’t crazy, after all. Maybe everyone could...everyone but B. 
You didn’t give the two a chance to say goodbye, tugging on his arm with a sneer. He easily followed, allowing you to do so, and you swore you heard him chuckle. You were startled as he suddenly flicked his arm, hand closing around your wrist as he yanked you. Hard enough to send you falling into his chest. 
You were quick to press your free hand against him, desperate to get away when the other wrapped around your upper arm, fingers digging into the skin. You winced, cringing away as he leaned in, blue eyes appearing so much darker in the low lighting. 
“What’s the rush?”
Your frown deepened, disgust and fear battling it out inside of you as you ripped yourself away from him. You almost stumbled, righting yourself. 
“What’s the rush? The rush is that B, your girlfriend, could be drunk or in danger right now. Maybe both. That’s the rush,” you spat at him, hurriedly turning away. 
You didn’t need to look back to know he was there. You could feel the heat of his gaze. It was silent between you two, but you hardly noticed. You were too preoccupied with finding B and replaying what you’d just saw. You hadn’t liked Bucky since the first day you met, and you hadn’t been able to give a reason for it...until now. 
You found B at the bar, nursing a fruity drink as she laughed with some people you didn’t recognize. Her eyes widened as they met yours, her grin widening as well as she waved you over. You wanted to tell her what you saw, you wanted to shove it in her face and say ‘see! This man is all kinds of scum’. You wanted Bucky gone once and for all. 
But then she looked over your shoulder, and her grin shifted. It was softer, eyes sparkling as they landed on Bucky, and suddenly she wasn’t reaching for you anymore, but instead him, and your heart sank. It twisted as you watched her pull him into a kiss, drunkenly asking where he’d been, a dopey smile on her face and he gave her some story about running into an old friend. 
You doubted that woman’s name was Steve. 
B merely hummed, kissing him again before trailing her lips over his jaw. B was a horny drunk, always had been, and you knew that you’d be calling it a night very soon. As her head lolled against his chest, drunk murmurings leaving her lips, Bucky turned so that his eyes met yours. 
There was that gleam again, full of mirth as he stared you down. His lips twitched, as if fighting back a smile, and he raised one dark eyebrow at you, blue eyes almost daring you to do what you both knew you wanted to do. You swallowed, throat incredibly thick all of a sudden as you watched the way he ran his fingers through her hair, eyes never leaving yours as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. 
You balled your hands into fists, looking away, and you refused to look at him for the rest of the night. 
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“Come on, Y/N! You’re seriously going to pass this up?” 
B’s voice was disbelieving, and her face matched her tone. Her brows were furrowed, nose scrunched as she skeptically eyed you. You merely shrugged, flicking through the channels in front of you. 
“I’m just not up for it,” you told her. 
She scoffed. 
“The trip is two months from now. How can you decide that now?” 
You briefly closed your eyes, releasing a sigh as you avoided her own. 
“I just don’t wanna go, okay?”
She was quiet for a while, and you almost regretted your tone until she spoke. 
“Is this about Bucky?” her voice was soft...and sad. 
Your eyes flitted to hers, a little too fast, and you shook your head. 
“No, of course-.”
“Please don’t insult my intelligence,” she exhaled, and you shrank in on yourself. 
It was quiet for a while, the only noise being that of the TV. 
“Look...I know you aren’t crazy about him, okay? You try your best to hide it but…,” she trailed off. 
You suddenly felt guilty as she sadly eyed you, and she shifted closer to you on the couch. 
“He’s a great guy, Y/N. Really…”
“No, he’s not-.”
You suddenly cut yourself off, looking away with a frown. You had been stewing over what you saw for weeks, contemplating the right thing to do. Should you tell her and risk your friendship? Or should you not, and risk both her feelings and your friendship? 
“No, say what you were going to say.”
Her voice was hard now, an edge in there, and you sighed again. You finally looked at her again, and swallowed at the way she frowned at you, waiting for you to continue. 
“Do you remember when we all went out weeks ago?” 
Her frown deepened, no doubt trying to sift through her drunken haze before nodding. 
“I went to go find Bucky because I couldn’t get a hold of you, and I was getting worried. Naturally, I thought you’d be with him...but you weren’t. Someone else was…” 
You saw the way her brown eyes flashed, and she sharply inhaled. 
“Okay…,” she dragged it out, urging you to continue. 
You suddenly felt unsure. 
“He… Look, maybe it was just a harmless conversation, but that’s certainly not how it looked.” 
She sat back in the chair, blinking at you. 
“...and how did it look?”
“It was clear he was flirting with this girl, okay? Leaning over her, touching her…”
You trailed off as B stood, crossing her arms over her chest as she faced you. She scoffed. 
“You’re acting like this because of a conversation?” 
You knew that you weren’t giving her much, and you briefly touched your forehead. 
“You didn’t see them, okay? I did, and I know what I saw.” 
“So what are you saying?” 
Her tone was accusatory, eyes hardening as she waited for you to say what had been on your tongue for over a year. 
“I’m saying that Bucky isn’t good for you. He’s not a good guy,” you told her, standing now too. 
“And how would you know that? Never mind the fact that you don’t know him at all,  despite the fact that we’ve been dating for over a year, but you wouldn’t know a good guy if he smacked you in the face.”
“You don’t know anything about men outside of how to fuck them when you want to let off some steam. You don’t do relationships. You’re just like I was so forgive me if I’m not going to take relationship advice from you,” she continued. 
“You can insult me all you like but it doesn’t change the fact that your boyfriend is not who you think he is,” you fired back. 
“Oh, but somehow he’s who you think he is? Why do you think you know him better than me?” 
“Because I’m not blinded by his dick!” 
She reared back as if you had slapped her, and you almost felt bad, but your desperation won. You needed her to see Bucky for what he really was, and at this point, you didn’t care if you had to hurt her feelings to do it. She softly scoffed, briefly glancing away before quietly chuckling to herself.  
“I have to wonder what this is really about…”
Her words confused you, and you frowned as her eyes bore into yours. 
“...maybe this has more to do with a little green eyed monster than anything else.”
Now it was your turn to scoff. 
“You can’t be serious.”
She simply shrugged, staring at you like she was waiting for you to admit it. 
“You think I want your boyfriend? You think I’m that desperate for someone like him-?”
She looked insulted, and you pressed your lips together. Her lips trembled, and your heart sank as tears filled her eyes. 
“I’m sorry that we can’t all be miss independent like you. I’m not you, Y/N. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I don’t want a boyfriend and affection and someone to hold me at night, because I do, and Bucky gives me all of that and more.”
“B,” you sighed. 
“You have treated him like some sort of leper since he first came into this house. I have pretended to ignore it for as long as I can. Until you get over whatever narrative you’ve made up in your head, and at least attempt to be nice to him, we have nothing more to discuss.” 
You flinched as she slammed her room door shut behind her, leaving you alone and conflicted in the living room. 
It was later in the night when you heard Bucky come in, and sometimes you forgot that she’d given him a key. Forgotten, chosen to ignore, did it really matter? It wasn’t long before you heard them, and you swallowed down the bile that threatened to rise. 
You forced yourself into your shower, determined to wash away the stress of today. When you came out, you were disappointed to find that you could still hear them, and you had just gotten dressed when a change in their voices caught your attention. You paused. 
It sounded like they were arguing. It was hushed, but you recognized the tones and rushed speech all the same. You neared your door, cracking it just a tad, and the true nature of what was going on reached your ears. 
B’s voice sounded strained, shaky even, and Bucky sounded angry. Aggressive. You frowned, taking a step into the hallway as your heart hammered in your chest. You heard a thud then you heard her cry out and then you heard the springs of the bed. 
You didn’t even know what you were doing, only that you wanted whatever you thought was happening to stop. You frantically banged on her door, breath shaky, and you heard silence on the other side. Your fist was still in the air when B swung the door open. She was wearing Bucky’s shirt, hair in disarray, and you briefly glanced behind her, but you couldn’t see into the darkness. 
“What is it?” she sounded out of breath, voice cold, but shaky nonetheless. 
“I… Is everything okay? I thought I heard…”
You couldn’t finish your sentence, and she scoffed at you. 
“You thought you heard what?”
“I just… It sounded like you hurt yourself,” you lied, and she rolled her eyes. 
You noticed that they were red and glossy as she moved to close the door. 
“Goodnight, Y/N.” 
You stared at her door for a while, heart heavy before eventually making your way back to your room. Sleep didn’t find you much, and you spent most of the night tossing and turning. It was early in the morning, the sun still yet to rise when you just gave up. With a soft sigh, you made your way to the kitchen in search of some coffee. 
You were in the process of reaching for a mug when a figure out of the corner of your eye had you flinching. You eyed Bucky as he leaned against the door jamb, and you cursed as you almost dropped your mug. A towel was wrapped around his waist, upper body bare and still damp, a stray droplet or two sinking into the white material at his hip. 
“Didn’t see you there,” you murmured, closing the cabinet and turning away. 
He didn’t respond, and you focused on ignoring him altogether. It was hard to do when he just opted for simply staring at you. You could feel the heat of his gaze searing into your back, and you flinched when you heard him come closer. When you turned around, he was practically on top of you, arms folded over his chest, and you stumbled away, your hip hitting the counter. 
Bucky stared at you as he leaned against the other side, wet hair pushed away from his face. He didn’t say anything, preferring to gaze at you in a way that made you feel oh so naked. He tilted his head at you, pressing one hand into the counter as he stared you down, a glint in his eye that sent a rush of fear through you. 
You started to ask him what the hell he wanted, but then decided that you weren’t going to entertain him. You were just about to head back to your room when he spoke. 
“You don’t like you?”
Your eyes widened a bit at his boldness, and you wondered if B had told him what you said. You immediately wrote off the thought, knowing that wasn’t like her. You cleared your throat, fingers dancing along your mug as you briefly eyed it. 
“I don’t know you,” was your simple reply. 
He hummed at that, visage unreadable. 
“And you don’t find that strange? I’ve been dating your friend for what? Over a year now, and we’re still practically strangers?” 
You didn’t know what to say, so you shrugged, giving a weak and halfhearted apology. Bucky simply narrowed his eyes at you, and you were tempted to do the same, recalling what you’d heard earlier in the evening. Dwelling on what you thought you’d heard would make your stomach churn, and you were suddenly reminded of the first night you’d met him. 
You turned to leave him in the kitchen by himself when he spoke again. 
“Keep this up, and you just might lose her for good.”
His words had you spinning around, eyes wide and lips parting. The corner of his own lips curved upwards, and Bucky took a step towards you. Then another. And another. You found yourself unable to move beneath his slowly darkening gaze. 
“I would hate for you to end up all alone…”
His words had you gasping, and you leaned away as he leaned in, his fingers reaching out to graze the wall beside your hip. He stared you down, his body heat clinging onto you as his other hand reached up to dance along the collar of your shirt. You were reminded of his state of undress, and you squirmed to get away from him, but he suddenly pressed his fingers into your hip, painfully, and you winced. 
“This world is so crazy now,” he whispered, nose brushing against yours. “The most horrible things tend to happen to women who are all alone.”
The mug in your hand fell to the floor with a crash as you shoved him away from you. You didn’t even pay it any mind, thoughts a jumbled mess as you fought to process what he’d said. You watched as he tsk’d before grabbing the drying cloth, kneeling down to clean your mess. He rested an arm on his knee, blue gaze meeting yours as he looked up at you. 
“You really should be more careful.”
For some reason, you didn’t think he was talking about your coffee, and you hurriedly stumbled away from him. Your legs were weak, hands trembling as you rushed to your room, shutting the door behind you before locking it without hesitation. 
Bucky Barnes wasn’t who B thought he was, but you were starting to realize that he wasn’t who you thought he was either. 
He was something worse. 
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“I’m so happy you changed your mind,” B sincerely told you. 
You returned her smile with one of your own, even if it was a little strained. It only took a week after your argument for you both to cave and start apologizing, meaning far too much to each other to wreck this friendship over her boyfriend. It took maybe another week or so for things to get back to how they were between you as if nothing had even happened. 
“He’s my boyfriend, not yours, don’t have to like him,” she had sighed one day. “Just...don’t try and make me agree with you about him and I won’t do the same.” 
It seemed like a fair proposal, and even though you wanted to argue against it so badly, you didn’t. You had to choose your battles, and as much as you hated to admit it, Bucky was right. If you kept this up, you might lose her for good, and there was no telling what would happen to her. 
Bucky wasn’t just a sleazy and unfaithful boyfriend, but you now thought that he was genuinely dangerous. You couldn’t leave B alone with a guy like that. The thought turned your stomach, and it’s why when she brought it up again, you agreed to go on the trip with her and Bucky. She was your friend, and you had to protect her. 
She sat your suitcase on your bed as you took in the impressive suite. 
“So, Bucky and I are right next door,” she pointed to her left. “...and…”
You frowned, skeptically eyeing her as she grinned and pointed to her right. 
“Steve is on your other side.”
“Yeah, you’ve heard me mention Bucky’s friend before,” she sheepishly said. 
“Yeah, mention. As in, in passing. You never mentioned anything about setting me up with him because we both know that’s what this is,” you complained, your semi good mood ruined. 
“Oh come on, Y/N. I just didn’t think you’d want to feel like a third wheel. Steve is cute and funny and nice. We both know you can do a lot with that,” she replied, wiggling her eyebrows. 
You simply sighed, resigning yourself to your fate. After all, you were already here and it wasn’t like you had much choice to do anything else. B left you with a pat on the shoulder and a giggle. 
Hours later, you were reluctant to admit that she was right. Steve was very cute and a seemingly perfect gentleman. He held the door open for you, and pulled out your chair, and complimented you until you felt heat rise to your cheeks. B seemed to be very pleased with her matchmaking skills while Bucky simply watched the two of you with a cool gaze. 
You thought that maybe he was curious to see how well his best friend operated, a guy thing you surmised, but throughout the majority of the trip, you could feel his heavy stare beating down on you and Steve. Anytime B brought up activities that would force the four of you to pair off, Bucky was quick to shut it down. Anytime you found yourself isolated with Steve, merely talking, nothing more, Bucky was there, leading his friend away with some excuse of checking out a cool shop or helping him find his favorite swim trunks. 
“Those two are like Thing 1 and Thing 2,” B had told you one afternoon as you both sat in the jacuzzi. 
The indoor pool was huge, impressive even, but you couldn’t swim and B was more than happy to lounge in the small pool of ripples. 
“If I had made us share a room and made them share a room, I fear those two wouldn’t have minded, at all,” she chuckled. 
You merely hummed, finding no humor in her justification of why Bucky just seemed to always be there. 
“ two hookup yet?” 
You splashed her, and she laughed. 
“How can I? We’re hardly ever alone for more than five minutes,” you told her. 
“So you do want to…”
She trailed off with a grin, and you rolled your eyes. 
“I mean, he is cute and so sweet. I figure I might as well make the best of it,” you replied with a shrug. 
She laughed again, leaning back. 
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep Bucky busy so you can get busy.”
You scrunched your nose up at her wording, but you were excited nonetheless. With everything going on with Bucky and B and the way you hated the man and his relationship with your friend, you could use a distraction. You were wound up tighter than a Jack in the Box toy, and Steve had made it more than clear that he was into you. 
It was later that night when B did exactly what she said she would. Alcohol was coursing through all of your systems, but B was drunker than all of you combined. Ever the horny drunk, it wasn’t long before she found her way into Bucky’s lap, and it took even less time for him to reluctantly pull her to her feet. 
“We’d better call it a night,” he said, holding her to him as he eyed you and Steve lounging on the pool chairs. 
The glow from the pool lights casted a blue hue over the large room, and the way it hit Bucky’s face had you shifting uncomfortably. Was it you or was he glaring at you? Steve took another swig of his beer, waving his friend off. 
“You guys go on ahead. B looks like she’s seconds away from pouncing on you,” Steve chuckled. 
“I am,” the blonde said with a pout, playfully glaring at Bucky. 
The dark-haired man merely pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, eyeing you both again before nodding. 
“Don’t forget to finish off these drinks. Might as well get our money’s worth,” he said over his shoulder as they both left. 
You and Steve were more than happy to do just that, and it wasn’t long before you found his lips on yours, his hand pressing into the small of your back as you hooked a leg over his waist. You hadn’t realized how long it had been, and you mewled against the blond’s mouth as he ground himself into you. 
This was exactly what you needed. You needed to forget how much of a creep your roommate’s boyfriend was and how much he terrified you. You needed to forget his predatory gaze and harsh touch. You needed to forget how much you hated him, how much you just wanted him to go away already. You needed to forget that the only reason you were even on this trip was to protect B. From what? You still weren’t sure. You needed…
To throw up. 
You pulled away from Steve as a bout of nausea hit you. You pressed your hand to your mouth, swallowing it down, and Steve’s hand was there at your back. 
“Woah, woah. You okay?”
You started to tell him yes, that you only needed a moment, rushing to stand when the room suddenly spun. Steve’s worried voice filled your ears as he caught you, and your legs shook. Confusion tore through you, recalling that you hadn’t had that much to drink to be this drunk. 
“Okay, I think you’d better call it a night too,” Steve advised, guiding you out of the pool. 
You shook your head, prepared to tell him that you were fine and still wanted to have sex. How could you not? The man was built like something out of your dreams. However, ever the gentleman, Steve simply hushed you, telling you that he was taking you back to your room. Your words came out slurred anyway, and that only made your confusion grow. 
You hadn’t drank that much...had you?
Steve had a harder time getting you to your room than he thought. You kept trying to drag him back to his, insisting that you were fine, but some rational part of you knew that you were not. Your words were too jumbled, eyes too unfocused, and you could barely stand. 
Something wasn’t right. 
The voice sounded far away, but there was a familiarity to it that had you cringing. 
“Hey, she… I don’t know. One minute she was fine, and then it just seemed to hit her all at once. I can’t… Not while she’s like this.” 
Part of you loved how gentlemanly Steve was being. Another part of you hated it, hating it even more how he talked about you like you weren’t there. You heard Bucky sigh, and you frowned. 
“Go on to bed, man. I’ll make sure she gets in her room,” you heard him say. 
You wanted to protest, but all that escaped was a few mumbles. You could feel a new set of hands on you, the old ones leaving, and a door clicked shut just as the room spun again. You shifted, your whole perspective shifting with you, and when you peeled your eyes open again, the ceiling stared down at you. 
That was the last thing you remembered. 
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When you woke up, it was well into the evening of the next day and you were alone. This was shocking to you for two reasons. Not only had you never slept that long in your life, even with the worst of hangovers, but you distinctly remembered being determined to have sex with Steve. 
And while it certainly seemed like you did, bottom half sore and protesting, bikini top askew, he was nowhere to be found. He didn’t seem like that type, and as you glanced around, it didn’t seem like he’d ever been in here, at all. You winced as you sat up, wincing even more as you moved across the bed. 
Your legs ached, like you’d just run a marathon and every time you moved, your core protested. You winced as you moved into the bathroom and was relieved to find nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe you just had a rough night. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time you’d taken a drunken tumble. You’d have to ask B what happened. 
As you peeled off your bathing suit, preparing to step into the shower, you couldn’t help but to frown at yourself in the mirror. You ran your eyes over your frame, convinced that something just Unable to figure out what it was, you shook your head and stepped under the spray of water. 
Your body felt better the more it stayed under the hot water. The heat and steam really did wonders for your aching frame, but as you brushed the complimentary white wash cloth between your legs, you jumped at the pain that shot through you. When you pulled it away, your heart dropped at the blood you saw there. Your period was regular, always had been, so you knew it wasn’t that. Even if you wanted to believe that, and you so desperately did, the ache in your core suggested otherwise. 
It wasn’t a lot of blood, just enough to worry you, and you were quick to finish up your shower and get dressed. It wasn’t hard to find them. They were lounging by the outside pool, laughing with each other under the shade of an umbrella. 
“Well, look who decided to join us! How’d you sleep, Sleeping Beauty?”
B’s voice was teasing, and you threw her a strained smile. It was clear she thought you’d finally had sex with Steve, if her teasing smile was anything to go by, and you shakily returned it. 
“Like a baby,” you replied, eyes finding Steve’s. 
You didn’t miss the way Bucky had turned his head. He was wearing shades, but you felt like he was looking straight into you. 
“Steve, can I talk to you for a minute?”
He raised his eyebrows, a little surprised, but eager to nonetheless. 
“Of course.”
He rose, following you as you walked away, B’s voice fading as she prattled to Bucky about something or another. 
“Did we…?”
You spoke as soon as you were somewhat secluded, trailing off as you eyed him, crossing your arms over your chest. He understood what you were getting at, and his eyes widened, shaking his head. 
“Oh, no. God, no,” he chuckled. “You were so out of it last night it just… I wouldn’t have felt right.”
He was telling the truth. That much you could tell, and your frown only deepened. You accepted his words with a nod and a sigh. 
“...but it certainly wasn’t without lack of trying on your part. I was trying to be a gentleman, but you just weren’t having it,” he laughed to himself. “Don’t worry though. Bucky made sure you got back to your room.”
His words froze you, your body going numb as you snapped your head towards his. 
“Yeah, well, you were really drunk, you know. He must have heard us and came to see if everything was alright. He let me go to bed while he took you back to your room. You got there safely, right?” 
You could only dumbly nod at him, and Steve grinned, placing his hand on your upper back as he guided you back to B and Bucky. Laughter filled your ears as he joined in on the conversation, but you could only shakily sit, staring ahead of you with a frown. 
No way. 
Your heart was racing, threatening to leap from your chest, and your palms had grown sweaty. You were having an internal war. That rational part of your brain, the same part that had been arguing against your feelings about Bucky since day one was screaming at you. It was telling you that you were being silly, reading too much into this, trying to latch onto any reason to hate this man. To justify your feelings. 
However, a bigger part was whispering to get out. It was the same part that created the nausea whenever he was near. It was the same part that told you he was scum long before you saw him with that girl that night. It was the same part that told you he was bad for B, even convincing you that he had hurt her. It was the same part that made your skin prick whenever his unnerving gaze found its way onto now. 
You glanced up to find B laughing with Steve about something. Bucky was on her other side, his arm lazily thrown over her shoulder, and while he seemed to be listening to what they were saying, you couldn’t shake the feeling that his blue eyes were trained on you behind those dark shades. You swallowed, and just then, the corner of his mouth curved upwards into a mocking smirk. 
There it was again. You felt like there was some joke here that you weren’t in on, and you shuddered. Unable to stomach being here anymore, you slipped away with the excuse of needing to use the bathroom. You didn’t return. Instead, you spent the rest of the evening sitting in the chair in your hotel room, knees pulled to your chest as you simply stared at your bed. You frowned at it, as if trying to will it to tell you the truth. To ease your fears...or confirm them. 
You couldn’t stomach the thought of sleeping there, and it was late into the night when you made your way to the pool. You didn’t get in obviously, but you sat on the side, feet and lower legs beneath the water as you stared into the clear blue. 
There had to be some other explanation. There had to be something more rational, something that was easier to swallow, but you just couldn’t shake what your gut was telling you. You blinked back tears as you stared into the water, and you felt like you were going insane. Footsteps got your attention, and you looked up...only for your face to fall. 
You hurriedly stood as Bucky came into the room, the door closing behind him. There was that mocking smirk again, and you crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him with so much venom, it was a wonder he didn’t flinch. But why would he? Men like him hardly feared anything. 
You spoke before he had a chance to, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you realized it. 
“What did you do to me?”
He didn’t seem taken aback or offended at all by what you said. Instead, he simply stared at you, one dark eyebrow lifting as he waited for you to elaborate. You licked your lips, taking a deep breath. 
“Steve said that you were the one to make sure I got to my room safely last night. I don’t remember anything, and when I woke up…”
You trailed off, unable to voice what you really wanted to say. His lips twitched, and you wanted to hit him. 
“When you woke up...what…?”
“You did something to me,” you accused him. 
“Prove it,” he spat. 
You blinked back tears, tears of frustration and anger and sadness all rolled into one. 
“Don’t- do not do that! Do not make it seem as if I’m crazy, like I don’t know what I’m talking about. I see right through you, you know. I know what you really are and what you’re really like, and I know that you did something-.”
“What did I do?”
He’d moved towards you so suddenly that you had stumbled back, almost tripping over your feet just to get away from him. You warily eyed the pool as you took another step back, and Bucky didn’t stop until his chest grazed yours. His hands were folded behind his back as he looked down his nose at you, slowly dragging his gaze from your face all the way down to your toes and back again. 
“Go on,” he encouraged, a lecherous grin on his lips and a mocking glint in his blue eyes. “Tell me what I did.”
Your breathing was shallow, chest heaving as you stared at him with wide eyes. He tilted his head at you, looking at you like you were some misbehaving child. 
“Come on, Y/N,” he dragged your name out, the first time you’d ever heard him say it, the sound making your blood run cold. “Tell me what I did to you.” 
His voice was low, heavy, almost like he was begging you, and you shook your head, taking another step back, but he followed. 
“Let me guess… You think I carried you into your room and locked the door behind me. At this point, you would’ve been unconscious, so I had to put you on your bed…”
His words made your skin crawl, and it was obvious as to why, but something else in his tone wrapped around your neck like a noose, and your stomach twisted. 
“Do you think I...admired your prone form, none the wiser to what was going through my head? What I planned to do? You probably think I crawled over you huh? Trailing my fingers and lips over your damp skin-.”
“Or maybe you think I went beyond that. Maybe I hooked my finger into your bikini bottoms, pulling them to the side before leaning down to get a taste of you. Perhaps, I forced a finger inside of you, followed by another and another-.”
“I would have to stretch you out for what I planned to do. After all, I’d want you to take my cock so well.”
There were tears streaming down your face now, and Bucky smiled at you, teasing and secretive as he takes another step towards you. 
“...and maybe you do. Maybe you stretch for me just right, sucking me in and twitching in your sleep until-.”
Your hand stung from the force behind the slap, but you didn’t care. You could hardly breathe, looking at him with wide and tearful eyes. He didn’t seem all that fazed by it, merely adjusting his jaw as his eyes met yours again. He shrugged before chuckling to himself. 
“Maybe that’s what you think happened.” 
“You were right,” you suddenly said, and he looked at you curiously. “I don’t like you. I never did. In fact, I hate you.” 
He simply hummed at that. 
“I know the kind of person you really are. You’re only going to hurt her. You know it, and I know it, but somehow you have got her twisted around your toxic little finger, and she won’t listen to a word I say.”
His eyes flashed, and you glared at him. 
“The day will come where she sees you for what you really are, and I’ll be more than happy to help her set all of your things on fire. Maybe you with them,” you threatened. 
Bucky simply straightened to his full height, gazing at you with a look you couldn’t place. He fully took you in, seeming to size you up before softly laughing to himself. His hand was suddenly on you, and you were falling into the pool. 
Your scream was swallowed by the water, and thankfully your hands caught onto the side as you fell in. You struggled to get a grip, fighting to pull yourself up when his hand was there on the top of your head, pushing you back down. You flailed, losing your grip, and you furiously fought as you drifted to the bottom. 
Water filled your lungs, and your eyes burned. From tears or the chlorine, you didn’t know. You could tell that the water was disturbed, and against your better judgment, you fought against the hands that grabbed you. Bucky pulled you to the surface with him, holding you against him as he swam to the edge. Your coughs were ugly, struggling to get water out and air in as he pinned you between him and the wall. 
“I’m the only thing holding you up, doll, so I’d be careful about how I proceed if I were you,” he murmured. 
It took you a minute to realize what was happening, but you jerked in his hold as his fingers brushed over your folds. You hadn’t even felt him slip them past your bottoms. You flailed your legs, pushing against the wall, but he only closed in more, forcing a finger inside of you as his lips met your neck. 
“Relax,” he purred, adding another before curling them inside of your walls. 
You were frantic, panicking as you fought to get away from him. You didn’t care if you drowned. His lips were at your ear, shushing you as he continued to move his fingers, grinding against you and forcing you to perfectly move over the hardening heat you felt below you. 
Part of you was in shock, unable to scream as the reality of the situation, of what he was, truly dawned on you. You were just so focused on getting away, digging your nails into his arms, kicking your feet, pushing against him. However, you finally let out a sharp scream when his hand pulled away from you, pulling at your bottoms instead. You felt him fumbling behind you, and then you felt it. Warm and hard and poking at your folds. 
The water splashed as you flailed, and Bucky shushed you, pressing a hand to your mouth while the other slid the tip of him along your entrance. You were screaming against his hand, tears collecting there as you struggled to get from between him and the wall. Just when you felt the tip of him slip inside, just when you thought you were going to vomit all over this pool, he suddenly froze. 
You didn’t understand what was happening, but all of a sudden, he righted himself and you, and proceeded to push you up and out of the pool. Just as B strode inside. You were trembling as you landed on the floor, eyes wide and blurry as you struggled to stand. 
“Oh my God! Y/N, did you fall in?” her worried voice reached you, and Bucky answered before you could. 
“Yeah, she slipped,” he said, pulling himself out behind you. “She’s alright though.” 
B had just reached you as you turned and shoved him back into the water. You heard her exclaim, but you paid it no mind as you furiously grabbed your towel and your shoes, hurrying out of the room. 
You could hear her hurried steps behind you. You could hear her calling your name, worry and confusion coloring her tone. You flew inside of your room as soon as you reached it, slamming the door open. You didn’t bother to close it properly as you headed straight for your suitcase. 
“Y/N, what the hell?” 
B had followed you inside, shutting the door behind her. 
“What the fuck is your problem? Why did you do that? He kind of just saved your life.”
“No, he didn’t,” you spat at her so viciously that she actually reared back. 
As some of her anger dissipated, she finally seemed to focus on what you were doing. B’s face fell, eyes dimming as she swallowed. 
“What are you doing?” 
“What does it look like? I’m leaving.”
“What? Why?”
“Because your boyfriend is a creep!”
Her eyes widened, and she blinked. You could see a frown forming, could see the anger that was brewing behind her eyes, and you continued. 
“Don’t even start with me, B. He’s dangerous and disgusting and I want nothing to do with him,” you sneered, throwing the rest of your things into your suitcase. 
“What…? What happened?”
Her voice was small, weak and confused and sad, and you almost took pity on her. You almost stopped packing and decided to stay, but then you remembered the feel of his fingers inside of you, the way he almost forced himself inside of you. You recalled the way he held you down below the water and his harsh breath in your ear. 
You shook your head, looking at her. 
“If I told you, you wouldn’t even believe me, so what’s the point?”
She started to protest, and you cut her off. 
“I’m leaving, B. I’m taking the first flight out of here and that’s that.” 
You didn’t say anything more, neither did she, and she knew that when your mind was made up about something, that was the end of it. You could tell that she wanted to say something else, and part of you did too, but you were at the end of your rope. Bucky had gotten what he wanted. He’d broken you, and you didn’t have the heart to tell her that you’d be packing up your things as soon as you got home. 
You kept it to yourself and only sighed as she closed the door behind her on her way out.
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You looked up from your place on the floor as B lingered in the doorway. Your eyes met hers, and while the silence was short, it was no less awkward and tense. It had been that way for weeks...ever since the trip. 
She had come home days after you did, a number of things on her tongue no doubt, when she had stopped short at the sight of you in the kitchen, putting your mugs and other dishes into a box. She hadn’t said anything, neither did you, but you winced all the same when she stomped away, her door slamming shut behind her. 
The two of you hadn’t really talked since then, and you hadn’t seen Bucky since that night in the pool. You kept to your room mostly, only really leaving for work when you knew they both were either asleep or gone. A cloud hung over your once lively apartment now, and there was only one person to blame. 
The thought of Bucky made you ill. Literally. The first night you had been back, you had thought back to the pool, and before you knew it, your head was in the toilet. You had never cried so hard in your life, and it only just hit you then how close he’d been to… You shook those thoughts away, blinking at B as she shuffled on her feet. 
“Hey, um… So my aunt kind of had a stroke…”
Your heart sank, worry filling you. 
“Is she…?”
“She’s fine,” she nodded. “My mom though...she’s trying to put up a front, but I know that she’s really worried. I figured I’d head up there for a few days.” 
You didn’t really know what else to say, and B sighed. 
“Please, don’t go,” she whispered. 
“B,” you huffed, feeling everything start to bubble up inside of you. 
The anger, the irritation, the fear, the disgust. You hated Bucky. You hated him so much and you were so angry and disgusted with him, but a part of you, a part of you that you didn’t want to acknowledge...was angry with B too. Why couldn’t she listen to you? Why couldn’t she just open her eyes and see him for what he was? Why? Why was she so…? 
“Is it really that serious? Can’t you just-?”
“Yes, it is that serious, B!”
She seemed shocked by your anger, and you couldn’t swallow it down anymore. 
“He is not a good guy. I’ve told you that more than once, but I’m done! I don’t feel safe around him-.”
“It’s Bucky-!”
“Don’t do that!”
Your voice was so loud it echoed throughout the apartment. B looked stricken, and you felt your eyes watering as you huffed. You were standing now, arms folded over your chest as you glared at her. 
“Do not do that. My feelings are my own, and they’re valid. You can’t dismiss what I feel and what I’ve experienced for myself just because you like the way his dick feels.”
She looked like she wanted to say something, face twisting, but you continued. 
“I went on that trip for you. I have stuck around and put up with him for you...because you’re my friend and I just want you to be okay, but…”
You swallowed, glancing away. 
“I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. Especially at the expense of my own safety.” 
Your voice was quiet...tired. Defeated. 
“Is that what you want? You want me to stick around knowing I don’t feel safe as long as he’s around? That I don’t feel comfortable in my own house? Is that really what you want?”
She eventually shook her head, face sullen and lips pressed together. It was a shame, really, that the two of you had ended up here. B had been right that day in the cafe. She had easily become one of your closest friends, and now she was letting some pretty face cloud her of what was standing right in front of her. 
“For your sake, I hope he does become someone better than who he is now...but I can’t stick around to find out,” you whispered, and she called your name, but you ignored her. “Have a good trip. I mean that and...I hope your aunt gets better.” 
You didn’t say anything more, turning to finish packing, and eventually, you heard her leave.
You spent the rest of the day packing, crashing on your bed well into the night. You didn’t sleep much, tossing and turning, harshly pulled from sleep every time you remembered the feel of firm and searching hands on your body. Eventually, you gave up altogether and pulled yourself from your bed to start the process all over again.
Sometimes you had to stop and wonder if you were going about this in the right way. B was your should want to protect her...but at what point do you finally put your own safety over hers? Especially when she flat out refused to even just see the danger? You considered telling her what happened so many times. It was always there on the tip of your tongue whenever the house was a tad too quiet, the ocean of silence between you two just a little too tense. You wanted to tell her that her boyfriend was a predator, an attempted rapist...maybe even just a rapist.
The words that he’d said to you at the pool were on a constant loop in your mind. He’d said them in a way that suggested he was joking, a demented sense of humor, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that he hadn’t been. It reminded you of that first night you’d met him, when he’d ‘joked’ about B being unconscious before she even hit the door. Back then, something in you had told you that he wasn’t joking, but B had eased your worries. She’d confirmed that he was, but who was here to confirm it now?
God, what if you really had stared your rapist in the face as he recounted what he did to you? Even he wasn’t that depraved...was he? You were sure that you would drive yourself insane thinking about it, and so, like you had done for weeks, you pushed the thoughts away. You still had clothes to wash and dry, not wanting to when you drove home. Your mom had been worried to hear you ask to come home for a while until you found a new place, the change so sudden, but you assured her that everything was fine.
You and B shared a hamper in the laundry room, and you sighed. You figured it was petty to only wash your own. After all, you weren’t actually mad at B...just frustrated. When the load was done, and the dryer finally chimed, and you took them out and separated them. She had way more than you, and her clothes warmed your body as you carried them to her room. Dumping them on the bed, you proceeded to fold them, placing each article next to her pillow so that she wouldn’t miss them.
Out of nowhere, your body shuddered, body hair standing on end as goosebumps broke out over your arm. The a/c had just kicked in, and you were grateful because you were starting to get a little warm. When you folded her last shirt, a picture frame on her nightstand caught your attention. You quietly approached it, looking down at the familiar photo with a soft sigh. You both had taken it during a weekend trip to the beach. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and dismissing the memory, you turned around.
You froze, blood turning to ice as your eyes met familiar blue ones. He was leaning against the doorway, face unreadable as he stared at you, and you thought to yourself that you hadn’t even heard him come in. Your eyes fell to the set of keys in his hand as he swung them back and forth, as if mocking you. Disgust rolled inside of you, and you avoided his eye as you made to move past him.
Bucky took a step to the side, blocking your path, and you glared up at him with wide eyes. You hadn’t seen him since that night, you’d had no plans to, and yet here he was, forcing his presence on you again. You had thought that he was going with B. You had hoped…
“This is all your fault, you know,” he murmured, finally speaking.
You couldn’t prevent your face from twisting, brows furrowing and eyes narrowing as you shook your head at him.
“Excuse me?”
He took a step forward, forcing you back, and your heart skipped a beat, remembering the last time you were alone with him.
“I only stuck around because of you…”
His voice was low, and deep, and you blinked. Confusion and apprehension tore through you, his words not making any sense. He pursed his lips, looking around the room with a hum.
“B is...she’s great and all, but it was never supposed to be anything more than a nice fuck. A sweet release for the night…”
His words made your jaw clench, and you had half a mind to choke him for how he spoke about your friend. He continued before you could.
“...but then…”
His voice rose, tone taking on a mirthful lilt as he dragged out the last word.
“...I ran into you,” he quietly said, tilting his head at you. “...and you were just so protective over this woman who meant nothing to me.”
Your lips parted, opening and closing as you fought to understand anything.
“You knew what I did that night.”
His eyes were locked onto yours, and you halted, feeling like a bucket of ice water had been dropped onto you. The truth was now staring you dead in the face, and your lip curled as he confirmed what you had long suspected.
“You knew what I did to her, even after I had convinced you otherwise...even after she did, some part of you always suspected.”
“You unimaginable-.”
“But the real treat was that you had been willing to fight me because of it. Oh, I don't think I’d ever seen anyone round on me that fast before,” he purred, taking another step towards you, eyes gleaming. “You were prepared to kick my ass.”
“I knew it,” you shakily spat.
“You wouldn’t have won, of course,” he offhandedly commented. “I would’ve had you on your back in no time.”
You swung at him, blinded by an unfamiliar hot fury. He caught your wrist, hand tight on you, and you winced. He yanked you closer, breathing you in as he ran his eyes over you. He forced you back, and you dug your feet into the floor, fighting to get out of his grip.
“I started to take you right then and there. It would’ve been easy, like breathing, but something in you made me want to play the long game. I wanted to torture you...slowly…”
“Let go of me,” you screamed, your other hand connecting with his jaw.
It barely affected him, and he snatched your other wrist with ease.
“It was a good run, the most fun I’d had in years. You never let up, not once, and there were a few times where I genuinely worried you’d just stab me in my sleep and be done with it,” he hummed, forcing you back.
You jerked against him, trying in vain to pull your wrists out of his hands, but it was no use. His hold was locked, preventing you from getting away, and you felt your breathing pick up. All of the humor and teasing and secretive smiles were suddenly gone. His face fell, and he roughly shoved you away from him. You bounced on B’s bed, hurrying to sit up, but he was standing over you, shoving you back down again.
You hit against him as his hands landed on your t-shirt, tearing at the fabric, and you grabbed his hands, bending his fingers. Bucky hissed, ripping a hand away before placing it on your throat, and you painfully gasped. He pressed himself against you, a smirk crawling onto his lips as he brushed his nose along your own.
“I told you...I’d have you on your back in no time,” he whispered.
You couldn’t speak, throat tight and chest burning. He suddenly paused, tilting his head as his smirk grew. He glanced away before his eyes found yours again, something swirling there that created a sinking feeling in your gut.
“I almost forgot,” he started, sucking in a breath. “I already did.”
His words paralyzed you, and you halted all movement, staring up at him in horror. Your lips trembled, eyes watering as the truth about that night was thrown into your face. He looked more than pleased with himself, and you couldn’t hold back the sob that escaped you.
“You’ll have to forgive me,” he murmured, reaching up with his other hand to trail a finger down the side of your face. “I just couldn’t help myself. I figured I was owed just a small taste of my prize.”
Your struggle was anew before he even finished, harsh choking sounds escaping you as you fought against him. He was undeterred.
“I got you right where I want you, and no one is around to stop me. Now, I don’t have to drug you to fuck you,” he growled, leaning in, and you maneuvered your legs between his. “Now, you’re mine, and I’m going to spread these legs just like I did that night.”
He exclaimed when you brought your legs up, and you painfully gasped, vision blurring as air rushed back into your lungs. You rolled and shakily moved away from him, desperate to get away when his hand wrapped around your ankle. He yanked on it, forcing you to collapse, and you screamed as he crawled over you, quickly muffling the sound by pressing your face into the bed.
You struggled to breathe, you struggled to move, you struggled to get away. He held you in place with a hand on the back of your head, and while you frantically tried to get it off, not suffocating being your first priority, he was occupied with ripping what was left of your shirt off of you. Your sweatpants soon followed, and your hot tears soaked the bed as his hand found its way between your legs. He made a sound of disappointment at the dryness that met him there.
You squealed into the mattress as his fingers dipped between your legs again, wet this time, and your nails scraped along the bedding as he forced them inside of you. He groaned as he thrust them inside of you, massaging your walls and forcing your body to prepare for him. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and part of you suspected that this was how you’d die. At the hands of this monster who had slithered his way into your lives.
Relief filled you when he let your head go, and you lifted it, sucking in air with difficulty. Your relief was short lived, a yelp tumbling from your lips as the head of his cock broke past your folds, quickly followed by the rest, and a pained whine escaped you as his hips connected with you at last. Bucky released a shuddering breath above you, hands dancing down your sides as he hummed, burying his face in the crook of your neck while you sobbed beneath him.
“Just as tight as I remembered,” he murmured.
You didn’t have time to cringe at his words. The palms of his hand pressed into the mattress on either side of your head, holding himself up as he began to thrust into you. The bed shook under the force of his thrusts, and your chest heaved with every choked sob that left you. Bucky paid you no mind, too blissfully engrossed with the way you clenched around him.
You tried to push yourself up, but every snap of his hips had you falling back down. You tried to crawl away, but he only followed, his unrelenting cock seeking you out. You could hardly hear anything over the sound of your own sobs, but you could do nothing to shut out the sound of Bucky’s deep grunts. You couldn’t ignore the sound of his skin slapping against yours as he fucked you.
“Please, please,” you cried, not above begging him to let you go.
Eventually, he got fed up with your attempts, forcing his knees between your thighs. He spread them, making you cry out, and he pressed his hands into the small of your back. He moaned at the new angle, and you shuddered, feeling every inch of him now.
The tears never stopped, and you simply hung your head, nails scraping along the bedding as you silently pleaded for him to stop. You just wanted this to be over. You wanted this to be over, and you wanted to be far away from him. He spread your legs even more, forcing a noise of protest out of you at the feel of the strain, and fresh tears escaped as you felt his lips on your shoulder. Then they moved to your neck, his deep breaths filling your ear.
“You were well worth the wait,” he murmured.
His words stroked that anger inside of you, and you brought your head back, satisfaction blooming when it connected with his face. He only chuckled in response, and you gasped when he pulled out of you. You were quick to move, attempting to fling yourself off of the bed, but his hands on your hips prevented you from doing so. He flipped you over, and your tearful eyes fell onto him.
His dark hair was in disarray, muscles shifting as he forced you into whatever position he deemed fit. You fought against him as he pushed your knees towards you, but the position he forced you into made it difficult to do so. He settled himself over you, his chest pressed against your bent legs, making your knees touch your chest, and you had no choice but to accept the way he slid inside of you.
Your walls protested, hands hitting against the bed, another sob climbing out of your throat when he closed his hand over your mouth. He slammed himself against you, balls brushing against your skin with every thrust. His other hand pressed your wrist into the bed, and you felt like you were surrounded by him. All you could feel, hear, and smell was him. The way he stretched you was bordering on painful, and you just wanted to be anywhere but here.
You lost track of how long he fucked you, face sticky and dry from your tears, throat raw from screaming. No one could hear you, Bucky’s hand making sure of that, but you felt you owed it to yourself to try. Anytime you even looked like you were drifting off, mind determined to get as far away from this scene as possible, Bucky would give a particularly hard thrust, forcing you back to the present, and the tears would start all over again.
When you heard his breath hitch, you knew that the end was near. Both relief and fear filled you because what then? What awaited you when this was over? How could you even try to move on from this? Bucky shifted again, letting your legs fall around him, letting go of your hand. He seemed to anticipate that you were still going to fight, and as you reached for him, he snatched both of your wrists up in his free hand, holding them against your stomach as he chased his high. He seemed to be holding himself off, and for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why. 
Until he let go of your mouth, hand drifting to where he slid into you.
“No,” you cried out, moving to break free only to jerk when he rubbed his thumb over you.
You gasped, legs kicking around him, determined to stop him. You couldn’t let him take this from you either, you couldn’t let him force you to enjoy this, but he seemed bent on doing just that.
“Come on, doll. Don’t fight it,” he purred.
“Stop, stop,” you screamed, fighting against that tightening in your gut. “Stop-!”
“Oh, there she is. That’s it…”
You had clenched around him, walls involuntarily fluttering as he all but threw you towards the edge.
“Stop, please-.”
Your voice hitched, something snapping within you as your mouth parted, no sound coming out. You could hear Bucky swear over that roaring in your ear as you spasmed beneath him.
“Fuck, that’s it. Milk me, doll. Look at you,” he breathed.
You faintly noted a warmth filling you, coating your walls as he came inside of you, a satisfied sigh escaping him as you continued to flutter around him. You cried as you came down from your high, and Bucky’s hand found your face. You wouldn’t look at him. You were too terrified, and you just wanted him to go away so you’d never have to see him again.
“Your mom has a nice place…”
Your stomach dropped, and you looked at him with wide eyes. He pressed his other hand into the mattress beside your head, holding himself over you. You were too frozen with fear and horror to notice that he’d even let you go. A hungry smile curved along his lips, and he dragged his eyes over your naked and sweaty form.
“...I’m glad Steve just bought the one across the street.”
He leaned in, lips brushing along your ear.
“It makes it easy to come see you while you look for a place of your own. I look forward to the house tour.”
tags: @mcudarklibrary​   @xoxabs88xox @harryspet @readermia @opheliadawnwalker3 @nickyl316h @captainchrisstan @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @lokislastlove @notyourtypicalrose @coconutqueen21 @hurricanerin @trinittyy @hyoyeoniie @cocoamoonmalfoy @mandiiblanche @gotnofucks @oneoftheprettynerds @doozywoozy @sapphirescrolls @threeminutesoflife @searchforanotherway @melli0112 @buckybarnesplumwhore​ 
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barnestuff · 4 hours ago
morning kisses
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summary waking up in Bucky’s arms.
pairing bucky barnes x reader
warnings none. fluff.
a/n I hope everyone’s doing well <3 not my gif
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
Bucky slowly opened his eyes, his hands searching your body on the bed. He wrapped his arms around you and sighed. Nothing felt like holding you in his arms. He didn’t want to wake up but he couldn’t keep his hands off you. He buried his head in your hair and inhaled the scent of your shampoo. It was his favorite scent in the whole world.
“Good morning, Bucky.” you said with a lovely voice, looking at him, your head still on his bare chest. He smiled at you, he didn’t realise you were awake.
“Good morning, pretty girl.” he said, his voice raspy from sleep, and his hands went to your chin, lifting your head up to kiss you. You slowly leaned and kissed his lips.
Bucky was tired before meeting you. He was tired of endless fights and chaos all around him. He was tired of fighting. He was longing for peace, until he met you.
You were his peace. His comfort. You were everything he had and needed.
In little moments like this, he couldn’t help but think how lucky he was to have you. He could never even imagine being this happy, but there he was wrapped up in sheets, his girl in his arms, smiling like an idiot.
“Slept well?” you asked as you started kissing his neck. He chuckled.
“I always sleep well when you are next to me, doll.” he said and rolled you so he could be on top of you.
“Bucky!” you squeaked. He started peppering kisses all over your face. His lips were on your cheeks, forehead, nose, eyes. You were giggling like a little girl in his arms. He took his time with your lips, kissing them slowly and tenderly. You smiled into the kiss, loving the feeling of his lips on yours.
You loved waking up in Bucky’s arms. Every morning you would wish to wake up in his arms for the rest of your life. Waking up warm, safe and happy, smelling his comforting scent.
Bucky broke off the kiss and laid on his back, pulling you to his chest. You smiled delightfully.
“Good morning, baby.”
“Good morning, Bucky.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
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lovelybarnes · 4 hours ago
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main masterlist . marvel masterlist . requests
angst- * fluff- + humor- # sad- ^ requested- ·
pretty + bucky tries to do little things to make him happy, lucky for him, a certain someone who makes him happier than ever before is happy to help.
marry me ^ he was going to make her a barnes.
pretty # y/n is stupid
scream + y/n has an encounter
second choice * no, you’re not his second chance, you’re his second choice
blue * you know him
gummy # bucky doesn't share food
dog tags +# PF12 “committing crimes” + DH8 “how dumb can you be?”
pebbles +# bucky tries to be romantic… it does not go well
reckless *+ “the things i feel for her are unlike anything i’ve ever felt before” but angst
flowers + y/n is whipped
carter baizen # oblivious idiots in love p2 OR y/n thinks someone is hot and someone looks exactly like bucky
home +· person a tugging on person b’s shirt
diamante rojo · kind of au with committing crimes with bucky
berlin ^ berlin in the cold/ all that fighting/ all that snow, writing challenge
morning +· person a won’t let person b out of bed by cuddling them + person a peppering kisses all over person b’s face (aka clingy bucky)
restless + bucky can’t sleep without y/n
hiccups # bucky has the hiccups
dumb jokes + NEW! bucky telling y/n dumb jokes just to see her laugh
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