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#bucky x spanish!reader
sparklefics · 9 months
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Señorita
Bucky & Latina!reader
Warning: major spanglish use 😂
Wc: less than 200
Tags @creamecafe
[masterlist]
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“Baby, I’ve been meaning to ask, and stop me if I’m being intrusive or rude, but I know you were deprogrammed from the winter soldier…”
“You can ask me anything, doll.” Bucky interrupted. “Go ahead.”
“Well do you still remember all the languages? I mean would you understand me if I started speaking Spanish?”
“I don’t know, maybe. Let’s try it out. ”
“Hmm. Me encanta estar así entre tus brazos.” You kiss his chest.
“No hay otro lugar donde desearía estar que aquí junto a ti, mi amor.”
Your body heats up and the squeal that bubbles out of you is more like a screech, you hide underneath the blanket.
“¿Muñeca? ¿Estás bien mi amor?”
“Cállate. Voy a necesitar que te calles.” You groan. “This is so unfair!! Why is your voice even sexier when you speak Spanish?”
“If it helps, your voice sounds sexier in Spanish too.”
“¿En serio?”
“Si, señora.”
“Señorita.” You correct him.
“Señora Barnes sounds way better.”
Can’t really argue with that.
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flordeamatista · 2 years
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I wanna kiss his cute little ear freckles
Love Marks
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pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
concept: Bucky's freckles and his body are yours to love
word count: 600
warnings: fluff, love bites, love kisses, soft handjob smut
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Masterlist
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When you fall in love with someone, it is believed that you notice every love mark on their body. You become one with them, from the shape of their heart to their bodily map.
As he owns your body every day, your hands going along his stomach are a map of his body that belongs to you.
He has no idea how magnificent he is, but you will constantly remind him of it. He is your love angel.
Every time he takes a breath, he will remind you that you are the reason he is alive. It's his fault he looks good while laying there peacefully dreaming about you.
When you look into his sapphire beautiful eyes, the lines on his face and the shape of his nose look like sculptures, as do the way his eyelashes dance every time he looks at you.
You see the little freckles on the side of his ear, which are all mapped out like stars in the sky.
He is the shining beacon in your eyes, the unconditional love of your aspirations.
Your soothing hands and calloused fingers stroke down his bare abdomen, causing his blood to boil and his dick to twitch.
It's energizing and frightening, but it's not the most severe of your interventions.
You leave a warm trail in his wake. It's both enticing and troubling, and the leg that connects around his hip doesn't help, but it's not the way you comb your fingers down his naval or rub your thigh over his that gets him going – it's the voice murmuring into his ear.
"You know how much I enjoy waking you up."
Your voice sounds like angels and your melody chants his name in songs.
You mumble and take deep breaths, warm against the crook of his neck and ear lobe. “This body is yours,” he says, biting his lip. Your eyes are drawn to the stapling of each freckle on his ear.
In every aspect, the man in front of you is a vision. Everything about him makes you happy, from his sapphire-blue gaze that makes you feel like you're in the sun to the freckles on each ear.
Bucky can't think straight because there's a mischievous little tongue rubbing along the side of his jaw and a palm pressing against the center of his abdomen. It's like a blanket of heat curling around him, swaddling him. In the midst of kissing behind his ear and whispering his name to him like it's a secret, it is hard to remember to breathe.
Your hand slides down as you trace the contours of his erection, and you flutter as your gaze moves along the shape of him, garbed only in boxers and you notice his visible tremble.
You're so close to his ear, and your voice is so soothing. It's darkened and deepened by lusty tones he's not used to but wants to learn; for a split second, he might consider himself a composer, because there are melodies between grandmaster you and early morning you, the one who slides your hands beneath waistbands and strokes him delicately, little by little.
He senses it in his bones when you separate your lips and breathe in. Bucky thinks that he's going to die as your fingers wrap around him and you stroke listlessly, taking your leisure and teasing it out.
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mywritesaremylove · 2 months
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Bucky Barnes x Latina Woman
He just sits back and observes. He doesn’t question things, he just watches because even though he has never seen or heard what you're doing, he doesn’t want to make you feel weird for what’s normal for you. 
Secretly starts learning Spanish. 
When you get pissed you start cursing in Spanish, no one understands it but him. 
You yell out a curse word in Spanish at Steve for eating your last orange, which leaves Steve confused and scared but Bucky just starts laughing so hard. 
After that, you learn he learned Spanish fluently and start having conversations together in Spanish. 
It’s funny now because he now shit talks Sam in Spanish and no one understands but you. 
Starts gossiping in Spanish with each other. 
Loves eating the food she makes. 
His new comfort food is sopita de fideo, especially on cold days. 
He can kill a whole tray of tacos by himself. 
He thinks it’s funny when she calls everyone random nicknames in Spanish.  (Wanda - mamas, Sam - pendejo, Tony - menso, Thor - cabron, Loki - nopalito, Bruce - salsa verde, Clint - pajaro, Natasha - linda, Vision - tomate) 
Loves when you call him cute nicknames in Spanish. (“mi vida” is your go to)
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buckrecs · 1 year
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2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 2
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masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - complete
All of them are COMPLETE Series.
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1. Chicken by @delusionalwriterr
Bucky x Reader
You and Bucky Barnes shared a strange relationship with each other and the team was getting tired of it. When a mission goes wrong, will you be forced to admit your feelings for each other or will they remain buried?
2. sweet reverie by @demxters
College!Bucky x Reader
bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend but after what you thought was sweeter than a dream has you facing a harsher reality.
3. The Time of the Prey by @subwaysurf45 ✨
Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader
The younger sister of the most talked about princess in the kingdoms really can’t do much except smile and nod. When Natasha, your sister, finally goes to moves all of you to Shieldshire to marry her beloved Prince Steve you are left with your art, all alone. But one Knight took it upon himself to keep you company, and that company was all you needed to get through wedding season. Will that company last or will it be ripped away from the both of you? A war is starting and it seems targets are being made. 
4. super rich kids by @traitorjoelite
College!Bucky x Reader
kids with too much money, parties every night, and an incident with your best friend’s brother is just the norm on the upper east side.
5. Bring You Home by @sunflowersoldat ✨
Bucky x Reader
Y/N travels back in time to get Steve’s help for one last mission, but not everything goes as planned.
6. The Colour of Rain by @delaber
Bucky x Reader
On the run from his violent past, Bucky has sought refuge in a small town in Mexico where he enjoys the peace and quiet of not understanding a word of Spanish. A peace that is violently disturbed when he runs into the most annoying woman he has ever met.
7. All The King’s Men by @nastybuckybarnes ✨
Alpha!King!Bucky x Omega!Reader
Your father always said that if it weren’t for your presentation, he’d think you were an Alpha. There’s a reason for that. Growing up in a world where Omegas are treated like garbage, you’ve fought for the respect that you have. Until you’re sold off to an old King desperate for a bride. But you will not lay down and present for your new husband. No, you will fight back.
8. Peaches by @noctumbra
DBF!Bucky x Reader
what they were doing was wrong, both of them knew that. it had to be kept as a secret. not everyone would understand what they have, she knew that much. they’d look at them and see an older man misleading a girl so much younger than him. it wasn’t the thing, though. that had never been the thing. it wasn’t misleading, taking advantage ─whatever they called their situation. it was love. forbidden, not-society-friendly, but love. 
9. Sweet Dreams by @abovethesmokestacks ✨
Bucky x Baker!Reader
Sometimes you start talking with someone, and you realize you share an interest and a wish for a certain supersoldier to be cut som slack. Enter cupcakes.
10. Fuck Up The Friendship by @summerofsnowflakes
Bucky x Reader College AU
Fed up with having your feelings played with you decide to have some fun with a with your friend Steve.
11. A Sweet Old Fashioned Notion by @sidepartskinnyjeans
Bucky x Reader
As the dust settles on the second 'snap' Bucky has been getting to know Brooklyn again. His neighbourhood has changed a lot, but it's changed for you too since you got blipped back. Bucky is still pretty old fashiond at heart, there were things he expected from life, to get married, to have a family. Simple things that seem far away now especially when online dating is so hard. Maybe something more traditional would be good for both of you.
12. Soldier, My Soldier by @cryptidcasanova
Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader
“I am the writing on the wall, the whisper in the air. Without these things I am nothing. So now, I must shed blood.” He lulled at the base of your throat. “Sweetheart, come with me.”
13. Homesick at space camp by @atlaese
Bucky x Avenger!Reader
dying on a cold spaceship lightyears away from home wasn't what you expected
14. Spirits in the House by @redgillan
Detective!Bucky x Reader
Reader is in a coma after a car accident. Bucky moves into your apartment and find your spirit still hanging around.
15. Sugary Sweet by @all1e23
Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader
Is it all just sugar or something more? 
16. Missing Piece by @likeahorribledream
Bucky x Reader
When Bucky first arrived to the compound, Steve was his only friend and the only person he trusted himself around. That is until Steve introduces him to you, his best friend. Bucky was fascinated by how often you and Steve would hug each other. It had been a very long time since anyone had touched him in such a loving way and it didn’t take long before Bucky found himself craving your touch, but whenever you’d get too close he would flinch as if someone had hit him. His trauma still too fresh a wound for him to be comfortable with someone touching him. Then one day, he finally fights his instincts and let you touch him. He hadn’t realized how truly touch starved he was until he feels the warmth of your skin against his. Something clicks for the both of you in that moment, you had found your missing piece. As long as you were with each other, you were home. You both tried to fool yourselves into thinking you were just friends, really close friends. Friends that needed to be together almost every minute of every day and who needed to hold each other to be able to sleep at night.
17. Metal Arm and Short Skirts by @buckyarchives
Bucky x Doctor!Reader
waltzing in as the new head of the Avenger's medical division, impressing everyone, and... scaring Bucky with your incredibly short skirts. Bucky's having a hard time looking at his arm as anything other than a deadly weapon, and you're more than happy to help him.
18. Scars by @chickenfics ✨
Bucky x Reader Western AU
Running from a past that haunts you and a future that is unsure, the last thing you wanted was to take up with a stranger. Strangers, you'd learned, are almost always more trouble than they're worth. But when dangers from the life you're trying to leave behind get too close for comfort, drastic times call for drastic measures, and the stranger you'd once feared becomes the only person you can trust -- and perhaps the only person you'd call your friend. Now you both just have to make it out alive... 
19. The Color of Blood by @theidiotwhowritesthings
Bucky x Agent!Reader Soulmate AU
In this world, a person didn’t discover color until they locked eyes with their soulmate. As an agent of SHIELD, finding your soulmate was hardly a priority. Especially since you were currently dealing with the shocking discovery that HYDRA had been pulling the strings behind SHIELD actions this entire time. Life was all about timing, and you were about to find out that your timing was absolute shit.
20. Everybody’s Watching Him (But He’s Looking At Her) by @writing-for-marvel
Actor!Bucky x Assistant!Reader
The entire world’s eyes are on movie star Bucky Barnes, what he’s wearing, who he’s dating, even the mystery behind why he needs a prosthetic arm - but Bucky doesn’t care about all that, he’s only got one thing on his mind, you.
21. 27 Dresses by @beccaanne814
Bucky x Reader Modern AU
You are the epitome of “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.” You think you know what love is, but sometimes you can’t see what’s right in front of you.
22. Heal by @chucksfavouriteprophet
Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader
For months you managed to distance yourself from Bucky Barnes, the alpha you long for. But one night you have no choice but to comfort him, something which brings out emotions in both of you. Except it also brings out emotions in the Winter Solider, which results in a devastating turn of events that neither of you might be able to come back from.
23. Dangerous Woman by @samthemarvelfan
Bucky x Reader
You know he blames you, but you never thought he’d hate you.
24. Witness Protection by @mymoonagedaydream
Bucky x Reader
You'd only been living in New York for a few weeks when Natasha introduced you to James Barnes, the man who’d change your life forever.
25. Everything’s Better in Westview by @espinosaurusrexex ✨
Bucky x Reader
Bucky and Y/N sneak into Westview to have the perfect life. Away from late Steve and Tony, Vision and Natasha, they let themselves be consumed by suburban magic. To their surprise, however, some of these people aren’t so dead in the town. And there are some other weird things happening that make them question their sanity. But that’s okay, right? ‘Cause everything’s better in Westview.
26. Trying by @moonlight-prose
Bucky x Reader
Bucky Barnes was a new person. He survived a war with Thanos, finally getting rid of his triggers, and losing his best friend. He didn’t think there was anything else to survive. That is until he meets you in a bookstore and you become something he is scared of losing. An old villain has shown himself and suddenly you are the target of a new ploy to bring the Winter Soldier back.
27. unconventional methods by @marvelouslizzie
Bucky x Adult Content Creator!Reader
Bucky Barnes has a big problem: he is too anxious to date and too old school to enjoy porn. But he needs some kind of relief, and he needs it right now. After getting an accidental boner during a mission, Natasha suggests him an application that seems to be exactly what he needs. Will your content solve the problem for him? Or will it create new problems?
28. ephemeral by @aescapisms
Professor!Bucky x Reader
Bucky Barnes fell in love with you, but the universe isn’t all that forgiving.
29. Bulletproof by @amandaoftherosemire ✨
Bucky x Reader College AU
You, Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes have been the best of friends since middle school. On top of that, you’ve been in love with Bucky pretty much the whole time. Everything changed after the three of you got to college, however. Over the past couple of years you and Steve have become even closer but things between you and Bucky have been strained since the night he broke your heart. Can anything bring you back together?
30. The Heart is a Deep Ocean by @dreamlessinparis
Bucky x Reader Titanic AU
Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.
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vase-of-lilies · 10 months
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Efforts to Make Amends
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❀ Tfatws!Bucky x Mom!reader (f)
❀ Non-con and rape (DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT), past abuse, past parental abuse, mentions of captivity, fluff, childbirth, some suicidal ideation (but no actions), taking of virginity, some after sex bleeding, talking badly about a baby, pregnancy, dad bucky 🥺 (if there is anything else, PLEASE let me know!)
❀ Word Count: 6.3k
❀ A/N: This came to mind when I was just thinking about Buck:) I don’t know if this is already a concept, but if it is here is my take on it! :D
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The cry of the newborn baby sent shivers down your spine. Not a scared shiver, or a nervous shiver. Just a shiver. You are her mother now, and you can not let this baby down. You won’t let this baby down. As the nurse gently handed the bundle of joy over to you in a pink blanket, you laid eyes on the most beautiful little thing in the world. With her eyes barely open to see, her blue eyes stared back into your own. 
Tears filled your eyes as you held her to your chest, her babbles slowly dying down to soft breaths. You smiled down at the tiny human in your arms, clutching onto your finger softly. You heard the heart monitor go off, and you immediately held your daughter tighter in your arms. Not wanting to let her go, not for one second. Your OB/GYN entered the room, smiling brightly with the paperwork of your brand new baby. 
“All is well with your little girl. I’ll let you decide on a name and we can fill out this boring stuff.” She chuckles and sits next to you on the bed. 
“Oh, I really like this one.” She hums softly at the baby names in question. She points to the fourth one on the list that you made on a piece of paper. “Clarisse” is the name she chose. It was your mother's name. Bright, shining, gentle, and brave. She was your advocate through the years you were held captive by your own father. 
Of course the circumstances of how this child came into this world is not how you imagined it, you are still eternally grateful to have her in your life. 
It was at this moment you knew all too well what you had to do. You had to start brand new; New name, address, hair color. Everything you can to stay away from the life you were forced into as a child. Going by the name Carla, you set off out of the police station with your new ID, and a new life ahead of you. You couldn’t hold back the smile that had formed on your face by the time you made it to the bus stop. 
Paying the bus driver, you sat down on the bench by the window. Carefully holding your newborn baby to your chest, you stare out the window at the passing cars, buildings, and people. All making their way home from work or even to work. Even the people who call themselves “superheroes” have a home to go to, don’t they? No matter where you go, you know you have to provide what's best for this baby. The police were some help, getting you your ID, colored contacts as well as a wig and a new passport. But it was a long, aggravating process. With every woman looking at your baby with prying eyes, getting ready to let their lips loose in the daily office gossip session. 
Finally, it was time to leave. It was time to leave the life you were previously living, and set off on a new adventure with a new companion.
~~~~~~~
Arriving at the airport, you follow the directions to buy a ticket to Spain. With what little Spanish you knew was not the problem at this point. It was getting away from a crime populated city such as New York. The culture, the people, and the ocean around the country felt like the safest option. 
“ID, ma’am.” You heard the woman at the desk say. Pulling out your ID, you make sure it is your new one. This has a special hidden key trustworthy people can scan that tells them you are a witness in protection. They are very caring with you, and question nothing if you hesitate with your new name. “Carla Davenport. Date of birth November eighteenth.” Fuck! What's the year?? “Year?” The woman asks. “U-uhm, 2001...” You almost say it as a question, but the woman smiles and hands you back your ID. 
“Enjoy Spain!” She says from the desk, and onto security you go.
~~~~~~~
The plane ride was long, and agonizing with how anxious you were. But Clarisse easily soothed your nerves. The looks people gave you were noticeable, and the last few people to board on the plane seemed reluctant to sit next to you. A newborn on a plane is someone's worst nightmare. But Clarisse was a sleepy girl, and slept a majority of the flight. The moments she did start to cry, you knew she either had to be changed, or was hungry. Once you went to the bathroom, you sat on the toilet and began to breastfeed your little girl.
The mirror that was across from you, a woman you barely recognized stared back. False black-dyed locks fell around an exhausted, hurt, and abused mother. There wasn’t much that stared back. You peeled your eyes away from the mirror, and pinned them back on your little girl. Clarisse was enjoying her milk, and was soon going to fall into a milk coma. You just knew it. 
Sighing as you sit back down, you look back out the window. The night sky was absolutely beautiful at this time, and you loved what it looked like. Even though Clarisse was asleep, you still pointed out the lights along the coast that shaped the continent of Africa, and soon to the lights that covered Madrid. Your new home town. 
As the plane landed, you stopped at the gift shop to get a Spanish-to-English dictionary to start learning. Also stopping at a small convenience store in the airport, you exchanged all of your US dollars to Euros and bought some diapers and a diaper bag as well. It was the small things that the program didn’t provide that seemed to be the biggest issues for you. But you were grateful for the small apartment they found, and even more grateful that they provided rent for the first year of living there. 
Getting a job will be difficult, but you knew that you would figure it out somehow. With how populated the world is, there is bound to be an English speaking job for you out there. But that was the least of your worries right now. What you needed the most was food, sleep, and a warm blanket for you and Clarisse. All that you needed for a couple nights was already at the apartment, and you were eternally grateful. 
Finally getting to the small one bedroom apartment, you immediately lock the door behind you, and set off to the small bedroom. There is a mattress on the floor as well as a few blankets and a pillow, but other than that nothing much else. It was simple, and you liked it. Just for you and your little girl. You smiled as you saw the view out the window. The beautiful city lights shone through the fire escape balcony, giving a soft glow in the bedroom. It felt safe. 
Getting out a diaper and some wipes, you begin to change Clarisse. “I know sweet girl, it’s been a long day.” You whisper, giving soft kisses to her face as she babbles into the open air. “Are you gonna sleep well tonight? Hm? Or are you gonna keep me up?” You chuckle at the small girl in front of you, and you softly tickle her sides. Her incoherent giggles are music to your ears, and it is nothing like you have ever heard before. “You are so beautiful my little flower.” You smile, nuzzling your nose against hers softly.
After getting Clarisse all settled, you decided to move the mattress just under the window to get the perfect view of the night sky. You lay your head on the pillow, a feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time. Your little girl snuggled right up next to you, and stared up at the sky as well. You knew she would grow up to be the best little girl there is, and there is no doubt about that.
~~~~~~~
Sweat covered your forehead as you ran through the cold Russian woods. Barely escaping the Hydra base with your ankles not broken. You kept running until you knew you were far enough away to take a breath. But oh... were you wrong. The Winter Soldier was right behind you, every step of the way. It almost felt like he was in the trees, stalking your every move just like your father had conditioned him to. 
The man was silent as he looked for you, but the silence screamed death. You were terrified, and rightfully so. Even trying to hold your breath so no one could see it, including you, was one of the only options to stay hidden. Besides trying to hide within the trees, and snow on the ground. It was hopeless. You could already hear the crunching of the snow underneath the heavy combat boots of the Winter Soldier coming your way. 
This was it, you were going to die. You never knew why your father kept you in the base, but he would not be disappointed to hear that you were gone for good. Maybe it was for the best. No one would have to worry about keeping you silent, or contained. With the secrets you know, you could uncover the world's most dangerous criminals, documents, and codes to plenty of nuclear energy. But you swore to your mother you would never tell a soul. She loved her husband and her daughter equally, but her caring nature made her keep the world she lived in safe. 
You were in your thoughts for too long. ‘Fuck-’ you suck in a breath, not moving an inch as you feel the cold blade barely cut into your neck. “Please...” you couldn’t believe you were begging for mercy, but you were strong. You had to stay alive; for your mother. “Cooperate and I won’t kill you...” the soldier said in a dark voice. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to kill you. 
Instead of questioning him, you gave a small nod. “Good girl.” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. Soon the cold spread from your arms all the way down to your most intimate parts. He had sliced away at your thin hospital-like gown, and stripped you bare. You couldn’t do anything with a knife to your neck so you stayed still. “Please d-don’t, I-I’ll go back wi-with you, just p-please!” You quietly beg him, but he has already stripped himself of his own tactical pants. 
He ignored your pleas, commanding you “Be a good girl and lay on your back...” A whimper left your throat and you froze. “N-no.” You stated, calmly. Instant regret filled your veins as he swiped his foot underneath yours and you fell to the ground. Your head hit a root sticking out from the ground and your vision was rendered blurry. “P-please...” Your attempt of a small plea exited your mouth, but you gave up. 
His veiny, god-like sculpted cock filled your cunt to the brim. You tried to scream, but nothing would come out. He started to thrust, and thrust, and thrust. It felt like it never ended. His blue eyes stared into your dull y/e/c eyes with no emotion or mercy. He was told to do this to you, and it traumatized you. With no luck, you tried to push him away but he was quick to pin your hands above your head with his strong arms. One metal, one flesh. 
“It's ok... just take it...” Was he trying to comfort you? 
“I- I can’t...” 
“You will.” That was the very last thing before you were left in darkness, unconscious and barely alive. 
~~~~~~~
Clarisse lets out a small cry, waking you up instantly. “Hey sweet pea, shh shh mommas got you.” You whisper to her, gently rocking her in your arms. You didn’t know what time it was, but you knew for sure you only slept a wink. You stayed up the rest of the night, helping her to sleep, feeding her every now and then, and getting only some sleep yourself. You were more than happy to stay awake for her, and that was a sacrifice you were willing to take. 
Once the sun started to come up, you yawned and decided to see what snacks you had brought from the airport. Some ChexMix and an apple was enough until you gathered enough courage to go grocery shopping. It had to be about 9:00 once Clarisse started to wake up. Swaying her as she drank from your breast, you hummed her a soft song and smiled from above her. As she drank, you began to grab what money you had, Charisse's baby bag and a face mask just in case someone did end up recognizing you. It would be lethal to have anyone from Hydra even know you exist. 
~~~~~~~
Bucky POV:
Of course I regret everything. I have to live with what I have done every day of my life, and deep down I know that I can’t blame myself for my actions. It’s not something to get used to. Some would say that I have gotten used to hearing the last breath come from someone's gurgling throat. Some would say that “he likes to watch them die.” But in truth, nothing is worse than seeing someone's life drain from their eyes just like a painting being washed away; the paint clinging to life to stay on the canvas but the water just too damn strong. 
A victim I remember very clearly, said whilst looking through the barrel of my gun “Fools make romance of death, for it is brutal and cruel. That I say be at peace with my passing is not such a thing. But once it is done, I will be safe and sound once more. I will live as long as I can, be with you as many days as we are sent, then keep me in your memories. I will see you again. That is a promise.” He was right, I would see him again. Not in heaven, or hell where I belong. But in my nightmares every single night. Therapy can only do so much for a broken, lost and helpless soldier. Let alone a 106 year old one. 
However, I was slowly making amends with the people who were fortunately left alive. Yori Nakasima, the sweet old man I have lunch with every Tuesday is just an example. He was not a victim, but his son was. He was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in turn he fell straight to the line of fire. My line of fire. No matter how much I try, I can never expel the begging that came from his mouth. He was innocent and had absolutely nothing to do with that mission. Simply… a loose knot that had to be tied tight. Yori and I went our own ways, and it makes me happy to see him still go to the same restaurant every Tuesday. He may not remember our conversation, but rest assured he can sleep knowing what happened to his son. 
One more name.
One more name and I can throw this damned book away.
Y/n Y/L/n. 
Y/n has been on this list for four to eight months now. Her name staring back at me with anger and regret. God why did her own father make me do this? Thoughts were racing through my head as I searched for Y/n, but nothing came up besides death certificates. She can’t be dead. She has to be alive, I know that she got out of there alive… Going deep into police, military and FBI/CIA records, along with the witness protection program as a sergeant, I was able to find someone by the name of Carla Davenport. I obviously knew this was wrong, and I was mostly doing this for myself. But there was one part of me that wanted to tell her that she is safe, and that she could finally rest with her guard down. 
Doing further research, I finally came across an address. I lucked out by being in Madrid at the time with Zemo and Sam while I did my research. All I had left was to confront her and tell her my intentions. Knowing Y/n, she would be feisty, careful but most likely fearless. I know her, and she would fight with every last cell of energy in her body to win. I slightly jump as I hear my phone buzz and I answer Sam.
“Hey Sam.” I said, jotting down Y/n’s new address. I heard a sigh on the other line, and I knew I was in for something. 
“I got a call from a CIA agent who found a breach in the witness protection program. Was that you?” Sam replies. 
“Uh, why would you think it would be me? I have no reason to be on that site in the first place.” Seriously? What kind of answer was that?? “Dr. Raynor told me you needed to find some people… Buck come on man, we could have done this together.” 
“Whatever happened to patient privacy? I found what I needed, so can I log out and be on my way?”
“Listen, I know you’re hurting. Especially over Y/n. I'll help you find her, but can we please do it the legal way?” He sounded convincing enough that he actually wanted to help, but I knew that it was just a ploy. Or, maybe that was my irrational thoughts talking for me.
“I’ve gotta do this on my own. She is the last one before I can finally go out and live how I want to. She will determine if I deserve to be free.” There was silence for a short period of time, and then another soft sigh from the man on the other line. 
“Alright, fine. But if I get one more phone call telling me you did something illegal, you’re kicked off my team for charades, and you are going to talk with Dr. Raynor. Do you understand?” 
I chuckled at his threat, and I nodded to myself. “Yeah, Sam. I understand. I wouldn’t want to bother Captain America with calls from random CIA agents about the site of witnesses in protection. This is honestly something Raynor should have let me do. She was the one who told me to “use your resources'' where there was nothing else to use. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.” 
“See you tomorrow Buck. Have a good night.” 
Hanging up the phone, I sigh and I finish writing down the information from the website. Now that I knew where she lived, it would then be the hard part of everything. Telling her what I did, and apologizing for it. 
~~~~~~~
Your POV:
It had now been three full weeks of living in Madrid and you were living your best life! You had a desk job dealing with English complaints for a website that was fully in Spanish, and your little girl could be with you all day long. Being able to earn a stable living was nice in such a large and new country. Also with your new way of life, you were not living off of ramen and buttered toast. You were able to make full meals with fresh ingredients from the finest vendors just down the street from your apartment. Steamed vegetables, freshly cooked meat that only needed a little bit of heating in the oven and your own seasonings and finally the glorious, melt-in-your-mouth Churros con Chocolate was what you were blessed with for dessert. It was heaven, and you were living in it with such happiness. 
Clarisse is now one month old, and has been a little more aware of what she can do with her body. Even at this young age, she knows who you are and who you are to her. Soon she’ll be running around on two healthy legs with energy skyrocketing every second. Watching her grow up is the highlight of your life, and you never wanted it to end. Her eyes would scan each room you went through, each aisle you walked down, and even grabbed up at you from your arms as you made your way down to the baby section. Clothes, shoes, food. Clothes, shoes, food. All you needed was those three things, and you would be on your way. 
It was a relief that you had not encountered a challenge by anyone. Not when little Clarisse cried for a little bit, and not even when the panic set in at the sound of the bustling cars outside the store. It was a success, and you could not wait to get home. Checking out with ease, you held Clarisse close to you as you took your groceries in the small basket on the back of your bike, and strapped the little girl into her car seat carrier on the front of your bike. “All safe and sound, my sweet girl,” You whisper, gently putting her blanket over her. On the way back to your apartment, you followed the same route to and from. Two lefts, a right, up the hill and to the left. It was almost a song you replayed over and over in your head, just to help you get home. Just like your mother taught you;
Down the hall and to the left, a little bit longer, up the stairs and in my arms you go! This song was to navigate the hallways of the large house your father had bought your family before he decided to keep you as his own lab rat. 
Once you made it into the safe walls of your home, the lock was the first thing in place after putting your bike inside. Clarrise still strapped in her seat, you rolled the bike to the far wall of your kitchen. The babbling baby in her carrier made you smile as she reached out to you, her feet kicking in excitement as she made eye contact. 
Holding your little girl felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time. Not only was this life forced upon you, but this baby took everything from you. Your passion for dancing and painting, your want to go to college, desire to learn and grow. This creature that is in need of so much care and attention took all of that from you. But so did he. He hurt you the most. 
Every day memories flow through your brain like a movie projecting onto a loosely hanging sheet. Warped, but clear for a person to know what happened. It was your duty to Clarrise that she did not know your past, and that she was brought into this life in a way that is a crime. And she never had to know. Having her not grow up with a father was a sacrifice you were willing to take to keep her protected from the pain you went through.
Your alarm on your phone went off, and you sat down on the couch to feed Clarrise. As you unclipped your padded bra, you froze at the sound of a knock came from the front door. Luckily Clarrise didn’t seem too hungry at the moment, so you slowly approached the door. You looked through the peep hole and saw a man. He had short brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looked… gentle. 
As you held your child close to your chest you slowly opened the door.
“Can I help you?” 
He looked down at you, a hight difference clearly present. He smiled at the small child in your arms and responded to your question. “Im looking for Carla. Does she live here?” 
You nod and say “I am her, is there something I can do for you?” You ask again, wanting a reason for the sudden visit from this man. He looked back to your face and you made eye contact with him, it was his eyes that looked so familiar. 
“Right, I just moved in down the hall way and wanted to introduce myself. Im James Barnes, and I’m from 107, that way.” He pointed down the hall way and you followed his finger. You nodded with a smile. “Well, its nice to meet you James. Would you like to come in? I was just about to feed this little one, but if you don’t feel comfortable with breast feeding, you don’t have to come in.”
You invite him in, not thinking of the dangers or intents of this man. He kindly accepts and enters your small apartment. Offering him a seat on the couch, you sit down opposite from him in the rocking chair. Putting a cover over Clarrise, you begin to feed her, the milk coming from your breasts entering her mouth as she begins to feed. 
“What brings you to Spain? I don’t know a lot of English speakers here besides the land lord.” You say, wanting to start conversation. He nods and shrugs, smiling softly. 
“I just needed a change of scenery, thats all.” He keeps his answer simple, not knowing how to bring himself to tell you what he did. 
“Have I seen you around? You seem very familiar, maybe in the market?” You ask, knowing you have seen him somewhere. 
This was his chance, this is the time to tell her. 
“No, I don’t think it was in the market,” He says in a sad tone. “It was a while back, I- um, I worked with Hydra. For your father. A-and I was ordered to do something very harmful to you, and I believe it was the result of- of her…” He slowly explains as he takes off his glove, revealing his metal hand. 
Your heart drops, the puzzle piece finally fitting in the right place in your mind. Tears pool in your eyes as you look from his eyes to his hand. The metal one. The memories come flooding back to your head, the nightmares, the feelings, and the eyes. His eyes, those got forbidden eyes. As cold as ice, yet as blue as the ocean of where you pictured yourself at the time of his assault. 
"I am only here to apologize. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am no longer the winte-”
“Why,” you cut him off. “Why did you do it?” Your voice cracks, many emotions coming through your gritted teeth. 
His eyes softened at your broken voice, and he sighs softly looking down at his hand. “I didn’t have a choice.”
“What did my father do? What did he do to you?” You ask, pity also filling your voice as you too know what horrors other prisoners went through. You felt bad, even for him. You tear your eyes away from him, moving them to your baby, his baby. 
“He did horrible things, but nothing compares to what he did to you. What he made me do to you. I- Im so sorry Y/n…” He takes the risk of saying your name, not expecting anything from it. 
“What are you doing here, James? What do you expect me to do?” I ask, trying to understand why he is here. “Did you come to finish the job?” You ask the question that dreaded your mind the moment he told you who he was. 
“No, not at all. I actually came here to offer protection. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me or the life you had to endure when under the horrors of Hydra.”
You considered. You actually considered letting him stay and try to protect you. “What or who am I in danger of?” You counter his offer, trying to prove something but unsure of what. You sigh and shake your head. “Forget about it. Im in the witness protection program, so protection shouldn’t be a problem.” 
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Carla. How do you think I found you?” He asks, exposing what he did to find you. 
Your brows furrowed and you glared at him. “I see.”
You didn’t engage anymore, you were numb and didn’t know how to feel about the situation. You felt violated all over again, by the same man. “Leave. Please just go.” You whisper, tears falling freely down your cheeks. Once Clarrise was done eating, you clipped your breast back into your bra and stood up. You didn’t notice James put a card on your coffee table as he made his way to your door. 
“I understand your fears. I hope you have found safety in Spain, Carla.” He said emotionlessly, actually understanding your fears. As he went back to his apartment which he did actually buy, he sighed and shut the door. 
As he dialed the only phone number he actually knew, he slid down the door and sat against it as the line rung. He closed his eyes and let his head hit the door. 
“Hey, you’ve reached Sam Wilson, Trauma counselor at the department of veterans affairs. Please leave a message and I will call you back when I’m free. Thanks!”
“Sam, It’s done. She- She’s crossed off the list.” 
~~~~~~~
Hours had passed by the time you could even speak. “How could he have found us?” You ask as you bounce Clarrise in your arms. The sleeping little girl in your arms was clueless to your question, hopefully dreaming of running free and not in hiding anymore. “My god, maybe it would be good to have protection…” 
You were talking to Clarrise as if she understood, but you knew she didn’t. You give her head a small kiss, looking in the direction of the coffee table in the middle of your small living room. An index card sat on the corner, scribbled on it was a phone number and a sloppy “107” on the bottom. You knew who this was from. 
You sighed and sat on the couch, cuddling your baby close to your chest, clutching her as if she would disappear. Staring at the piece of paper in your hands you contemplate calling him, contemplating on apologizing. Apologizing on your fathers behalf. 
Before you could stop yourself, you reached for your phone and dialed the number. 
~~~~~~~
Bucky jumped at the ring of his cell phone. He instantly recognized the number from the witness protection program website. 
“Hello?”
You took a few seconds before talking. “I know you know who this is. I’m making dinner a-and was wondering if you would like to join me?”
Bucky was taken a back by the sudden invitation, “Oh, sure I would love to. What time should I be there?” 
Responding rather quickly, you said, “Now?”
Before he could say anything, you had hung up and began making dinner. Boiling water for the noodles, opening up some seasonings you had just bought and putting the bread in the oven, you were ready for James. 
He knocked on your door and you put Clarrise in her bassinet in the living room, keeping an eye on her as you cooked. As you opened the door, you smiled softly at James. Instead of fearing him, you wrap your arms around him. He freezes, not yet used to such a gentle gesture from someone. 
As you sigh into him, he returns the hug and softly wraps his arms around you too. “Im so sorry James. Im sorry for everything my father did to you…” You know you shouldn’t have to apologize, but you can’t help but feel obligated knowing what James went through. 
“No, you have nothing to apologize for. It was and never will be your fault. Do you understand me?” James said, giving you a soft squeeze. 
You nod silently in response, and you gently pull away; tears falling from your eyes. Out of instinct, he cups your cheek and tenderly wipes the tears from your cheeks.
You lean into his benevolent touch and look up at him, a sense of security falling over yourself. Even though you knew him as the winter soldier, you knew you were safe with James. You knew that Clarrise was his child as well, and that she was safe with James. 
Gently reaching for his hand, you lead him into your home. He shuts the door behind him, and smiles as you walk to the kitchen continuing your work making dinner. You pause and look over at Clarrise who is now wide awake. 
“Do you want to meet her?” You ask, noticing James looking over at the babbling baby. 
He nods with a smile, subconsciously knowing that Clarrise is his child. As you approach the bassinet, you smile down at her. “Hi sweetheart, are you awake?” You ask in a small voice, smiling as she smiles back up at you. Picking her up, you hold her against your chest, looking to James with a smile. 
“I named her Clarrise, after my mother. Do you want to give her a middle name?” You ask, subconsciously accepting that he is her father. He looked to you and tilted his head. 
“Are you sure?” He asked, not wanting to force himself into the life you and Clarrise already have. You nod and wait for him to give an answer. “What about Sarah? After my sister?” 
Your ears perked at the word ‘sister,’ “You have a sister?” You ask with smile. 
“I had a sister. She um, she passed away a couple years ago. But she was sweet, and I think that it would be perfect for this sweet girl as well.” You smile at his suggestion and nod in approval. 
“Clarrise Sarah Barnes.” You utter, gently handing James your baby girl. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt her, I know you won’t.” Looking up at him, you can see the hesitation in his eyes. As he takes Clarrise in his arms, the connection is clear between them. A father-daughter bond that no one can just create. She was his.
“She’s beautiful, just like her mother.” He subtly compliments you, himself falling for you. This time in the form of true love, not forced love. You feel your cheeks heat up, a shy smile pulling at your lips. 
“She has her fathers eyes,” You point out Clarrise's blue eyes, still slightly forming as she grows. “And his bravery.” Adding onto her attribute, you look at James face as he interacts with the baby. 
Thinking of his preposition, you say to him, “You know, I wouldn’t mind a little protection. I-it would be nice to not feel so scared going out. Clarrise I bet would love to have her father around as well.” 
You anxiously wait for James’s reaction, hoping he doesn’t think you are moving to fast. Relief flooded your system as he nods. “I promise you, no one will hurt you. Not anymore.” He says, turning his head back to you. “I promise, Carla.”
You shake your head, and wave your hand a little bit. “Y/n is fine. Im sick of being someone Im not.”
He chuckles softly. “Trust me, I get it.” You smile and you move next to him, leaning on his strong bicep as you both look down at your beautiful baby girl. 
“James?”
“Yes, Y/n?” 
You pause.
You smile as he transfers Clarrise back into your arms. She has fallen asleep again, so you put her back in her bassinet. With the knowledge that both of her parents looking down at her, it makes you feel secure and safe. 
You turn to Bucky and look up at him, your hands coming to meet his cheeks. The proximity of the both of you made your heart beat quicker, and your mind blank. You did what you felt was right and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. His hands hold your waist gently, and he pulls you into him. You pull away breathlessly and he kisses your temple. You move your arms around his torso, and he holds you in an embrace, his chin resting on your head.
"I’d like you to stay. Please.” You answer, a sigh of relief escaping your mouth as you feel him nod his head. 
“Of course, princess, of course.” He cradles the back of your head in his large hand and kisses your forehead once again. He may have hurt you in the past, but he’s gained a little bit of your trust. He showed you that he is sorry, and you understand that it was not his fault. In this new chapter of your life, you know you will make it far.
And so will your baby girl. 
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inpraizeof · 1 year
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mi amor
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namor x avenger!reader
synopsis: after a long time running away from the one man who had promised you the world, you realize your fears have come to fruition
disclaimer: i have NOT seen the movie yet lmaooo i work all the time + i’m a cheap ass waiting for the pirated websites to upload the HD versions for the movie so bear with me if none of this is remotely accurate— based off of fics and clips i’ve seen
mi amor - my love
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
you could hear the clamor of the fight. you had stayed back, the look of disappointment on shuri’s face when she tried to tug on you to help was like salt in your deep wound. you knew exactly who it was, having caught glimpses of their blue skin and their clothing, you felt the bile rise in your throat as panic surged your body.
had he truly found you again? after all this time?
you had spent the months after leaving, destroying every piece of your identity, faking your death, selling your belongings and erasing yourself from existence. for a time, it was easy. half the world had been snapped so half the people who once knew you, were gone.
but it didn’t make the struggle of it all any less. the avengers had dissolved, especially considering that half of your teammates were gone, you were left with one option, one that you weren’t really sure was reliable anymore.
wakanda had once let you call it home, and you hoped it would once again.
nakia’s voice was like music to your ears as the call had finally been picked up on the third ring.
your head fell into your hand with a sigh of relief, “nakia!” you nearly cried, “nakia, thank the gods..”
you heard a faint whisper of a man in the background before nakia responded with your name, “y/n? what’s wrong?”
your unloading of the situation took a mere five minutes, but nakia was already on her way with a jet to retrieve you in less than.
being back on wakanda was jarring. you had been here before, happy and accompanying bucky as he healed from hydra’s touch. and it was here, that you saw him for the very first time.
legends that your mother had told you never measured to his. he was pure magic, a mystical being that had you bowing on your knees.
he rose from the water as you felt the tears prick from your eyes. the darkness casted a shadow over his face, and it wasn’t until he was breathing your air, that you finally saw the beauty of him.
you felt the gasp of air leave your lungs, and instead, filled with the pounding water from down below.
you wanted to scream, feeling the burning of your lungs, you clawed at your throat, and even more at him, for his beauty was a facade for the evil that sat within him.
as he set a hand on your shoulder, intent on watching you die within his wrath, you gripped his hand, and let the fire of your pain burn through onto his skin.
he pulled back, hissing as he looked down at his injury. you collapsed at the same time, the water that made your lungs burn now emptied out on the ground, gasping for air you heaved.
“what..” you coughed, still gulping at the left over sea water, “the fuck?!” you yelled.
“i have the same question to ask you..” his voice was accented, a twinge of spanish just at the brink of his tongue you could almost hear it.
he looked down at his burn and smirked softly, “you are the fire they’ve warned about..”
you sent yourself back to reality.
“enough dwelling in the past..” you muttered. you mustered up your strength and stepped out onto the scene. it was less horrifying as you imagined, considering his style.
all the words fell immediately as you revealed yourself. shuri and ramonda both turned and the reveal of your betrayal played in their eyes.
“y/n.” his voice was like forbidden music to your ears. you turned your gaze away from them and faced him.
you regretted your decision to show, but you understood that this was partly your fault.
“k'uk'ulkan.” his name was like honey on your tongue, a sound to him that left him buzzing. you looked at him and wanted to beg the question, wanted to ask why he would go to such lengths to find you.
“don’t think that i didn’t know. i can feel you move amongst them, your heart is aligned with mine..” namor moved closer to you, “i felt them, their heartbeat, their energy..” namor whispered now, his words ever so enchanting.
you mustered up the courage and pushed him back roughly, the sound of sizzling flesh was heard just as his soldiers, stepped in front of him with weapons pointed at your neck.
you scoffed, “i was once considered your queen, your ruler and you my subjects, and you dare forget me so soon..” you stepped back, and ignored their faces as you stared at namor, “there is not a corner on this earth that you will leave unsearched, but there is the fact that you will never find him.” your words were like knives to his heart, and he seethed.
as you prepared to step back, run away as you have always done, the emotion that tugged at your heartstrings made you stop, and gaze him in the eye once more.
“how could you have done this to me, mi amor?” he was murmuring the words, and you looked back to see the wakandians glaring at you with betrayal, “i promised to give you the world,” he opened his arms and turned with a grimace, “even if the world is undeserving of your beauty, your power can change it, change them.” he glowered at the wakandians.
you shook your head, “how could i have stayed knowing your were walking the narrow line between justice and tyranny?” you echoed, “i made my decision, and i live with it everyday that he asks who his father is.” you sniffled, “it is now your turn to live with the consequences of your actions, mi amor.” the last words felt antagonizing, like salt to another deep wound.
the pain of walking away, knowing you had just given up another place you could’ve called home eventually, was tough. your son was with nakia, the only one entrusted with the information regarding his parentage, you had him blended into society, a child who lived in ignorance filled bliss.
you would give up your life, if it meant namor would never see him.
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stxrvel · 2 months
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i don't wanna live forever (5)
summary: the time had come to destroy HYDRA and collect for all that had been taken from them...
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
words: 6k
warnings: descriptions of: blood, wounds, fights and weapons. probably gonna wake a lot of sadness since the begining. mentiones of suicide thoughts. heartbreak. stubborn characters. mentions of character deaths (canon). remember i'm not that good at writing action scenes and that English is not my first language!
note: hi guys! i didn't rest today at work. instead, i wrote 6k words for my actual hyperfixation and i'm actually exhausted. sometimes i write first in spanish and then in english, when my head is not up for the double translate, and leave the conversion to future me. this is future me talking and i hate myself for that. but i'm kind of proud how this one came out, so i hope you guys like it the same! feedback and reactions are always appreciated! see u guys next time <3
part 1
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It was already getting dark when the small cellar you were in with your friends filled with applause and singing, a joy bouncing off the walls as you walked in Steve's direction with a grin from ear to ear. Your blond friend watched the small cake Peggy had gotten him that afternoon head towards him between your hands, setting it down on an upturned wooden barrel, a little damp, that they would use as a table.
Peggy and Bucky were off to the side, their faces matching your excitement as Steve reached down and shook his head.
“I don't even want to imagine how you got that cake in,” was the first thing Steve said when the happy birthday song ended, shooting you a grateful look. His eyes sparkled like you hadn't seen in many days and you felt Peggy's squeeze on your forearm as she came over to form a little circle just like Bucky.
“Trust me, you don't want to know,” Peggy shook her head, her smile matching the blond's.
You watched Steve split a piece of the cake with a spoon you had no idea where Peggy had gotten it from, your friend bursting out laughing when Steve raised his head and she smeared white cream all over his nose. At that moment you felt Bucky's body heat behind you, all your senses turning on at once.
“No candle, but you can make a wish before you take the first bite.”
Steve shared a look with his friend, still with that twinkle in his eye and the most relaxed expression he'd had in days. He was still wearing his uniform, having caught him by surprise to bring him into the warehouse after a long day of planning strategies for the next mission against HYDRA. You and Peggy had been thinking for several days about doing something, and being that it was rather difficult to throw a small party in the camp you were in, you decided to opt for something a little more ordinary and familiar. You couldn't say, however, that Steve didn't like it, not when you saw him smiling at everyone so openly, shoulders down and spreading laughter to everyone around him.
With the spoon halfway to his mouth, Steve closed his eyes and made a wish.
You smiled indulgently, watching two of your friends share a small moment as Steve took some more cake to give Peggy. With your hands behind your back, you suddenly felt Bucky's left hand make its way through your fingers, intertwining your hands very carefully.
“How's the taste?”
Steve shook his head nodding at your words, his brow furrowing in pleasure as he enjoyed the large bites he was taking of the cake. At that moment, all you could think about was how much you would sacrifice to stay in that bubble forever, even without knowing what was coming next.
-
“Are you okay?”
You heard his footsteps before you saw him, his body leaning against the second to last step where you had sat and turned away from the others. The routine you had had to get used to over the past few months, after believing you were going to change the world, had become a constant burden that was hard to shake off. Still, you took and cherished moments like those when you could go out and sit and just watch the vast sky stretching for miles. The stars shone so brightly there, in the middle of the forest, that they seemed like little beacons seeking to guide you to a better future; perhaps to a future that you did deserve. Steve also sometimes accompanied you in silence, having learned that he couldn't always argue with you about the meaning of life and the purpose for which you two had to carry out the unjust orders of superiors. You once saw one of his drawings, a woman sitting at the top of a flight of stairs and a starry night giving her a message of hope. Maybe he saw it the same way too after a while.
“Yeah,” you replied to Bucky with a tight-lipped little smile.
Bucky didn't know much about you now. As the weeks went by you realized it was true what he had once told you, when the America's couple shows and his platoon's stay coincided for the first time in months. You had changed a lot since the serum injection. And, well, who wouldn't, after all? That's why when you were together after so long he spent time very close to you, very aware of you, checking with his excellent senses that nothing was out of place. That you were okay.
You didn't know if he had believed you, by the way his face remained expressionless, barely a slight twitch of his eyebrows, but he didn't repeat the question.
“Do you think there's anything else for us, besides this?”
Bucky turned his gaze to look at the sky and you watched his profile, the curve of his eyelashes and his half-opened lips. Situations like that had become commonplace, too. Since you no longer spent so much time together and you had changed so much because somehow you had to adapt to the harsh reality against which you had crashed, Bucky constantly wondered many things about life that ended up being his own fears materialized in existential crises. For him his world was shaking. Since you told him that you had been invited to the Super Soldier project with Steve, everything had become uncertainty for him. Uncertainty about his life, about your life, about the life you wanted to have together, uncertainty about the future, uncertainty about life.
You had the conception that Bucky could never fully adapt to the abrupt change that meant his two best friends were involved in a private experiment that gave them heightened senses and more strength and speed than an average human. Now he seemed to looked at himself like the mere mortal who walked shoulder to shoulder with two gods. He seemed to feel that death would knock faster at his door and it drove him mad.
“Yeah, I don't think this is it,” you shook your head in assent, watching out of the corner of your eye as Bucky rested his forearms on his knees and leaned forward a bit. His hands interlocked and parted, his fingertips met and parted, his fists opened and closed.
“But you'll outlive me,” Bucky looked down, his blue eyes glittering focused on yours under the moonlight. You could barely hear movement in the back of the hold where Peggy and Steve were still talking. Your heart flipped at the vulnerability you saw through his eyes, lately more common than you'd like. You didn't like not being able to quell those thoughts that dominated his head; the insecurities and fears that made him doubt so many things in the middle of the night.
“We'd live the same amount of time,” you assured him shaking your head, your own mind refusing to accept that Bucky's fears could take more power over him. Whatever you could do to calm him, you would do, always.
“You have the serum. You and Steve will live for many more years. Hell, maybe you'll even be immortals,” Bucky tried to smile, but a grimace settled on his face and made his words bitter. He was subtly trying to untwist his shoulders, barely moving to your side trying not to show too much that he was kind of nervous.
“Why are you telling me that now?” you shifted on the wooden step, moving a little closer towards him. Bucky tensed visibly, not because of the closeness, but because he knew the moment was coming when you would stop following his lead and start asking him what was really plaguing his mind. For some reason, Bucky couldn't approach those topics of conversation naturally, letting his mind and words wander a bit before daring to take his fears by the horns.
“I don't know… I guess. It's a truth I have to accept,” he confessed, his voice so fragile and soft that had it not been for the extreme hearing the serum had granted you, you surely wouldn't have understood him. You felt your heart crumple and moved your hand from your lap to cradle his hands that he still could not let still.
“But it is a truth that is still a long way from being fulfilled.”
“And first we have to get through the war,” Bucky turned his hands to lace them with yours, his fingers intertwining with yours and giving them a squeeze.
“We will. I have no doubt about it. In fact, I have a plan to persuade Phillips,” you smiled at him trying to lighten the weight on his shoulders a bit.
Little surprised, Bucky let out a laugh, his free shoulders shaking in sync with his chest. A beautiful smile spread across his face, and you would've enjoyed it except you could still notice his tired eyes and the dark traces beneath them. It seemed that the moonlight intensified the reality of his emotions.
“You always have a plan for everything.”
“What can I say? I'm an optimist,” you lifted your shoulders, leaning against Bucky's side. His head dropped to rest on the crown of your head, his breathing synchronizing with yours for a moment.
“Between the two of us, you definitely are,” he murmured, taking a deep breath, enjoying the moment for several seconds. “Sorry for… coming to bring up those topics of conversation.”
“No, it's okay. I like to listen. And you tend to do that sometimes,” you shook your head over his shoulder trying to dispel the topic, Bucky's hands tightening around yours.
“What?”
“You suddenly talk about things you don't want to tell me too much about and then put a little light-hearted attitude on it so it doesn't sound so serious.”
Bucky lifted his head, causing you to move in time to meet his surprised expression as well. His lips were trying to twitch into a smile, but he didn't seem to know if he wanted to laugh or frown.
“Do I really do it that often?”
“A little, yes.”
“Ah, I'm pretty bad at dissembling I guess,” Bucky looked up, finally succumbing to the smile. The gesture satisfied you enough to delve into the emotion with him, taking a moment to further enjoy that scenario you could no longer be a part of lately; to enjoy those everyday moments where you could feel love materially spark around you, as if it was a novel written solely to satisfy human romantic desires and whims.
You shook your head, returning to the subject.
“But you don't have to worry about my supposed immortality. I know we'll live the same,” you assured him once more, your arms wrapping around his right arm and squeezing it securely, hugging him, trying to send him some of the confidence you felt inside.
“How are you so sure?”
The truth was, you weren't, but you couldn't let him know that, much less let him know that you didn't expect his life expectancy to be as extensive as yours was now either. But how were you going to tell him that? He must've been martyred enough by his own thoughts during every moment of the day when they drowned him, and it wasn't as if you expected too much of a life after him either. You could have immortality served on a silver platter, but what would be the point if you had to spend it on your own? Bucky was thinking about not wanting to leave you alone, and you were thinking about the impossibility of finding a reason to live after him.
“Because I know I don't want to live forever if I'm not with you.”
Bucky stopped his light, ghost-like caresses on your fingers. He turned his face to look at you, his nostalgic expression disappearing in a matter of seconds. His blue eyes looked contrite, as if there was a storm inside them. You had never hesitated in your answer, no matter when he had asked. And yet you seemed to have taken him by surprise; it seemed that such a thing would never have crossed his mind even by accident.
“Y/N…”
“I'd be living in vain. Stolen time,” you shook your head, averting your gaze from the depths of his, an unknown kind of longing or fear furrowing across his features that you couldn't bear to see a second longer. You were there at that moment and you would see each other again later, why did you have to think about it too much?
Bucky sighed. Only when you felt his body relax against your side did you know he understood that it would do no good for him to try to antagonize you.
“Still, you deserve a life like this. After all you've been through,” his voice was barely a whisper that tore through the silent chill that surrounded you, but the implication of his words furrowed against your chest like a dagger. You shook your head before the memories could reach you.
“We all deserve it, especially in this world consumed by the greed of power and hatred.”
You saw him nod out of the corner of your eye, his hands wrapping around one of your hands, the one closest to his side and bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. His eyes were fixed on your profile, you could feel it, but you were afraid to turn to look at him and allow your emotions to come out. You were too sweet to succumb to strong feelings when you were with Bucky.
“Hey!” was Steve's voice, like a beacon in the middle of the ocean, making you both turn at the same time. “Peggy's just leaving.”
“Want a ride, Barnes?”
“Ah, it would be my pleasure, Agent Carter.”
Peggy moved, after saying goodbye to Steve and you, and walked in the direction of the huge forest that stretched into the distance where she had parked her car. Or Howard's car, you couldn't quite make out through the darkness.
“See you later, Miss I-don't-want-to-live-forever,” Bucky approached you with a half smile, having said goodbye to Steve, meeting him halfway to melt you in his arms. The tension in your shoulders eased considerably, a sigh making its way into your chest.
“Take care, Bucky,” you squeezed his waist, because you weren't tall enough to reach his shoulders in a hug, and he squeezed you back in response.
“Sure thing. I got to see my girl again, after all.”
You laughed between the hollow of his neck and shoulder, feeling your cheeks burn. Bucky broke away just barely to look at you with his own huge grin.
“Don't overdo it, Barnes.”
“Come on!” Peggy insisted, glancing at the watch on her wrist.
You broke away from Bucky, trying to push him to get into the car with his affianced friend, but he had other plans. In the midst of your struggle to push him away, he grabbed one of your wrists, using very little force to pull you close to his chest, his lips crashing against yours in a fleeting action, but not at all rough, barely a brush. Before you knew what happened he had already pulled away from you.
“When I get back, we have a lot to talk about.”
He never came back. He left in the next couple of days for the mission on the train and all you got back was a shattered Steve, his face dirty and sticky from all the tears he'd shed, his pleading eyes crystallizing on you the moment he had to tell you that Bucky had died. You could still remember how his voice cracked as he begged your forgiveness, repeating it over and over as if it would ease the burden he felt on his shoulders, the guilt for not being able to get him in time. You never blamed Steve for what happened, but it seemed like he did for a long time.
Reliving those memories was always a constant martyrdom. After Bucky's funeral you didn't think you could move on, but carrying all his pain in a sack of rocks, Steve assured you that they would avenge the reason Bucky had died. HYDRA. So you did and were able to carry on for a while until Steve was also declared KIA.
Peggy and Howard were a great help when you realized that you couldn't die on your own, because you healed faster than normal and could spend more time than humanly possible underwater. To say that you didn't try to leave the earthly world would be a lie, but your friends tried to help you in every way they could until you had to leave the United States. When you thought you would have to spend years hiding in Europe, Howard told you that wasn't necessary. Just staying under the radar and out of the feds' jurisdiction would be fine and he would take care of it. And one day, after spending a week in the apartment you were renting without getting out of bed for almost any reason, a knock on the door startled you.
“Correspondence,” rang through the silence of the apartment.
You only got up because you knew the mailman was wrong. You had given your address to absolutely no one and there was no way any person knew of your existence in that country. You thought you took pity on the man, when he handed you the letter and it did indeed have your name on it.
It was an acceptance letter from some university. Apparently you had enrolled to study mathematics.
You had a suspicion of what was going on, but something in your chest asked you to ignore it. The letter asked for an interview before classes started in exactly three days, and after that interview you received a letter from Peggy.
When Howard died you knew you couldn't go back to Europe. Largely because you had to find out who his killer was, but also because you wanted to watch over Peggy's life as you couldn't do for your other three friends. You were often terrified for your friend's life, especially having the job she had and dealing with all those powerful people who wouldn't hesitate for the blink of an eye to order her death.
Steve was right. You stayed with Peggy to investigate Howard's death. But you also stayed because she was the only thing you had left and you had to take care of her; you had to preserve her, to do everything you could to prevent another tragic and unnecessary death. You would've sacrificed anything in life just to allow Peggy to have the life she deserved. And so you did. You cared for her for many years, you were so attentive to her that her children called you aunt and then her grandchildren called you grandma; you were at all her family gatherings, giving gifts to her children at Christmas and celebrating each new year as you watched time pass through her eyes. Every January 1st you saw it as a win, a whole year in which so much sacrifice had been worth it.
Now… well, now everything was a bit more complicated.
Natasha had left the abandoned dam first after going over the plan one last time. You were supposed to go with Steve and Sam, even though Steve was reluctant to have you near the Winter Soldier again, as if you didn't have the same strength and agility as he did. Of course, his fear was rooted in something completely different than that, something he and Natasha had discovered with Zola.
“HYDRA spent years searching for you to recreate the super-soldier serum after the war. If not for the excellent work Peggy and Howard did, they probably would've found you more easily.”
Now, having such a palpable possibility of destroying HYDRA, you didn't think there was the slightest chance that they were still thinking about it, although Natasha stressed that it seemed to be that the soldier had two different missions when he found them in the middle of the city, one of them being that he was to keep you alive. Zhivoy, you recalled bitterly. Alive.
Steve didn't want to risk finding something else waiting for them when they reached the helicarriers, something that might lead you away from him. And yes, you understood his concern because it was the same one you'd felt for years and was more latent recently since Steve returned. But you weren't going to stand by like a fucking statue while they did all the work. You would take it upon yourself to destroy HYDRA completely and deprive them of any chance they might have to get close to Steve, you or Bucky again. Whatever you had to do, you'd do it.
“He's not the same,” you had told Steve, as you walked to the Triskelion in the company of Sam and Maria.
“But he'll remember us,” Steve assured, his hand tightly gripping the strap with which he held the shield. Steve had been repeating that to himself all day, even in front of Sam. You couldn't believe you were the one trying to maintain an objective demeanor in that situation.
“Yeah, maybe at some point. But right now it's not him, Steve,” you turned to look at him, his face fixed on the expanse of water surrounding the large building he used to work for. “He's not the Bucky we knew.”
Steve looked back at you, pausing for a moment. You knew he was mindful of it, you knew Steve was aware of how dangerous he was now; that there was a good chance he really didn't remember them and you wanted to make sure that wouldn't cloud his judgment; that he would still fight for his life.
But the resolve in his eyes didn't convince you. His lack of response fanned a hollow in your chest, your hands breaking out in a cold sweat as you stared at the empty space he left in front of you.
Steve was willing to bring him back and you were afraid of losing him.
For some reason, you felt it had to be different.
-
You heard Steve's voice over the speakers, running so you could find the helicarriers exit before they took off. Steve and Sam were supposed to meet you halfway, but you were already halfway there, fighting off a few agents, and you still didn't hear them nearby. Your breath caught in your throat as one of the STRIKE agents grabbed you by the throat while another plunged an electric baton into your side, the sensation of volts coursing through your entire nervous system sending you into a momentary state of shock.
You dropped your hands to stop struggling with the agent behind you and grabbed the wrist holding the baton with an overly strong grip, snapping the bone in place and jerking your head to strike the face of the man behind you as his grip wobbled for a second. Both agents fell to the ground, two bones broken in less than a minute. You grabbed the baton before departing, hitting them both in the head barely using half your strength, knocking them unconscious instantly.
As you exited the Triskelion facility to meet the gap you would have to jump over to intercept the first helicarrier, you heard Steve and Sam's voices closer. Oh, right, you forgot to use the communicator.
“Where were you?” Steve exclaimed, running alongside Sam closer to the chasm.
“You've got blood on your neck,” Sam pointed out, before spreading his metal wings and flying off into the sky.
“Put on your communicator,” Steve asked you just before you both jumped at the same time, a feeling of emptiness planting itself in the pit of your stomach.
You landed with your legs bent and leaned forward for a spin before getting up and continuing to run alongside Steve. You rummaged in one of your pants pockets, praying that the small devices hadn't been shattered during the fights you had inside the Triskelion.
Only one was spared.
Steve barely sent you a reproachful glance, shaking his head, as you approached a horde of HYDRA agents. You barely finished putting the small communicator to your ear when the hail of bullets came in their direction. Steve grabbed your arm to pull you behind his shield until he managed to hide behind two large containers. The fight was immediate.
The group of agents split up and you jumped right in front of two of them, sliding on the ground to use the baton from below to disarm them. You knocked one of them out with the high volts of the baton and the other tried to stab you from behind, but you stopped his hand midway and flipped his arm over, a shriek of pain escaping him as his shoulder dislocated. The man fell to his knees and, lifting one leg, you half-turned to strike his face with your full tibia.
“Cap, I found the bad guys you were talking about,” you heard Sam's voice, noting that, although that communicator was working, the voice you perceived sounded distant.
“Are you okay?” you heard Steve, as he came closer and you stepped on the handle of the staff, lifting it in a single stroke so that it landed in your hand.
“Not dead yet.”
Steve nodded, though he knew Sam couldn't see him and gave you a questioning look.
“Works?” he pointed to your ear, starting to pace.
“A little bruised, but does the job.”
Your friend shook his head, starting to run inside the helicarrier.
“Cap?” you smirked.
“Don't start,” the blond spoke through his teeth, moving toward his target. “Report location.”
You nodded in his direction, heading for the first agents who appeared to obstruct his path, clearing Steve's way in the direction of the helicarrier hub.
When you were done with the agents and Steve was finally able to enter the control center, you turned your attention to the voices ringing through the communicator.
“Ah, shit,” was Sam's voice, and the next thing you heard was gunfire around the helicarrier next to it.
“Fine, but you're going with me. I don't want to let you out of my sight,” Steve had said a few hours before they left the dam, leaving no room for argument in his haughty voice.
“That's unnecessary, Steve. We'd waste too much time,” you shook your head, trying to match his stoic, stern expression.
“She's right,” Maria nodded in your direction. “There are three helicarriers and three of you.”
“No,” Steve began to rise, your eyes following the movement of his body and his blue eyes fixed on yours. “Fury delegated orders to me, and that's an order.”
You indulged Steve until you lost sight of him, understanding he had said that out of pent-up fear. You grabbed one of the weapons that had been left on the ground and passed the strap over your head. The third helicarrier was a considerable distance away at a jump. You had to pick up too much speed to even make it to the tip, but you weren't going to stand there waiting for Steve when you could be doing something more; something necessary.
So that's what you did. Steve still hadn't reported state when you started running from tip to tip, your steps getting bigger with every second until you reached the gap and picked up momentum at the tip. That was insane. You felt the emptiness in your stomach again and out of the corner of your eye you could see a couple of explosions occurring in the harbor where the helicarriers had departed from. You stretched your arms out, counting on having propelled your body far enough, fearing a deadly fall as the other edge began to look higher and higher.
“Y/N, status,” you heard Hill, your heart in your mouth.
Your mind went blank for a second, when in the midst of the adrenaline you almost didn't even feel the moment when your left hand gripped the edge of the helicarrier tightly, the aircraft moving a little farther with each passing second. You had jumped at just the right moment.
Breathing hard, you propelled yourself upward until you could plant your feet back on the runway floor and replied to Maria, “Waiting.”
Steve must've thought you were still on the helicarrier with him.
As you ran, Sam reported that he had intercepted the second helicarrier after Steve, barely recognizing their voices amidst the tussle you were having with the agents who had appeared before you could reach the control room door.
“Y/N, where are you?” the voice of Steve came over the comm, a few minutes after you took down the last agent, moving in the direction of the metal door. You felt heavily for the programming card you had taken from Steve when he had pulled you close to get behind his shield, as you heard him ask Sam if he could see you.
You were about to reach the door when the scenery abruptly changed, a body appearing out of nowhere colliding into your left side sending you crashing to the ground hard.
“Shit.”
“Y/N?”
You ignored Steve's voice, moving to push off the heavy body on top of yours. Amidst the struggle you crawled away across the floor, a hand clutching at your ankle before you could move any further.
You recognized him by the coldness that ran through your body at the contact. You could almost be sure it had burned you.
This time he wasn't wearing the mask, those blue eyes boring deep into your head, the angry expression very different from how you had seen him last time. Although you would've liked to stay longer just watching, after spending so many years suffering his death, you pulled the leg he had held captive and tried to hit him in the face, his metal arm moving faster neutralizing the hit.
At that moment you stood up arching your back, planting your feet hard and running towards the soldier before he could catch you off guard.
You tried to strike his face, but he nimbly dodged every blow, just as you dodged his. He let out a grunt of frustration as you sent him to the ground with a kick to the chest, pulling a weapon from his side that he didn't hesitate a second to point in your direction. Feeling the air caught in your throat, you moved quickly on the ground, trying to escape his bullets while managing to find a place to hide.
You heard his footsteps approaching, as you hid behind a container, stopping just on the other side, and you moved to the right side of the container when you knew he was going to jump out and surprise you from above.
His body froze for a second, which you took advantage of to jump over the dumpster and grab him from behind, the baton you had on your belt wrapped around his neck, cutting off his breathing. You tried to hold him tight as he tried to push away your grip with his metal arm, almost as strong as your push to keep him in place.
The soldier began to slow his movements, but if you hadn't been so torn between he's the Winter Soldier and he's Bucky, you would've noticed one of his hands move over his vest, grabbing the handle of a knife and burying it in your right leg hard, all the way in, causing you to gasp.
Clearly your grip wobbled, the soldier taking possession of your staff and turning around as he pulled the blade out of your leg to direct his foot towards your chest, pushing you back to the ground where you fell with a loud thud.
The wound was deep. You could feel and hear the blood pouring out of it, but you didn't just stand there as you saw him leap down from the container, raising his arms to parry his attack as he directed the knife towards your face. His face contorted and scrunched up in concentration was all you could focus on, remembering that you couldn't let him win, but you also couldn't hurt him like he wanted to hurt you. You had to be objective, yes, but the thought of hurting him once more was heartbreaking.
You struggled with his hand until he let go of the knife, using your strength and trying to ignore the sharp pain in your leg from the effort to push him to the ground beside you with your hand on his neck and your leg around his waist, lying on top of him with one leg on each side.
At that moment, as you tried to keep your arm over his neck and he tried to weaken you by hitting your sides, you heard Steve and Sam's voices again. A small panic ran through your body which was enough for the soldier to push your arm away, grabbing you by the neck with his metal arm and bringing a gun close to your face as he rose up, taking you with him, until he slammed you into a wall with great force.
You raised your hand between your bodies to move the tip of the gun, the shot falling a short distance above your head, your exorbitant eyes watching his furious expression. His metal hand closed tighter and tighter around your neck, your breath hitching, but you didn't relinquish your grip on the hand still holding the gun.
In the midst of the struggle, you brought your knee up to strike his crotch. The soldier jerked away, a whimper dying in his mouth as you moved toward him again, pushing his arm away as he pointed the gun at you again and the shot landed somewhere behind you again.
You hit him in the face with your own head, one of your hands holding his right arm with the gun and the other trying to keep his metal arm that held the knife dripping with your blood at bay. You hit him full in the nose again, but even though the blood was starting to drip down, the soldier didn't budge one bit.
“Go!” you shouted to Steve and Sam, the soldier averting his attention for a tiny moment before struggling against your grip again.
You had to break free somehow to get the card to Steve. Your body began to give way with the soldier's thrust, your boots sliding on the floor like it was marble. The soldier began to close his arms and you tried to match his strength, but the blood leaking from the wound in your leg was slowly weakening you. And it was a vibranium knife again.
Suddenly you noticed Steve running towards you, the fleeting glance costing you restraint, as the soldier raised your arms and turned you roughly, his back crashing against your chest and his metal hand burying in your chest the knife hard, moving it from side to side as he did that cold night in Siberia.
In the midst of the pain and weakness from the blood loss, you laid your head on his shoulder, the adrenaline slowly draining from your body.
“Bucky,” you whispered like a prayer, your strangled voice barely making its way out of your mouth and the soldier tensing behind you. The struggling stopped for a second.
Then his body heat disappeared. Steve must've reached and tackled the soldier without missing a beat.
“Hey, hey,” you heard Sam approaching you, kneeling beside you and taking your hand that wanted to pull the knife out of your chest. Right through the center, near the heart. That pain was no match for the disappointment that was tearing you apart inside. Maybe that time you could actually die. “Don't touch that.”
“Give the card to Steve…” you barely muttered breathlessly, one of your hands moving to pull the card out of one of your lower pants pockets. “Run.”
Sam hesitated for a few seconds, looking between your knife and the fight that was still picking up steam in the background, until he clicked his tongue and stood up.
“Don't take that knife out!”
You saw him run in the direction of Steve and the soldier, his metal wings rising in the midst of the struggle. Steve and Sam began to get the upper hand, and at some point, Steve took off in the direction of the helicarrier control center.
You dropped to the ground, watching helplessly as the soldier overpowered Sam, dislodging his wings with the force of his metal arm. The pain was too much, but Sam was completely helpless. No matter how much training he might've had, fighting the Winter Soldier was disproportionate.
So in a matter of seconds you stood up, grasping between gasps the handle of the knife and pulling it out of your chest without a second thought.
The electric current of pain that coursed through your body was unbearable, feeling as if the hollowness you constantly felt in your chest from emotions had suddenly materialized, a constant pang that coursed through you from head to toe at every microsecond, with every movement. Sam didn't even have time to react when you grabbed the soldier by the throat, burying the knife in his leg and trying to wave him off.
You could consider yourself well served if at that moment that was your death.
The soldier grabbed the arm around your neck and leaned forward, lifting you up and flipping you over onto your back, falling hard and painfully to the ground. You looked at the knife in his leg before looking at his face again. He had a couple of cuts, his expression still angry, but he seemed to hesitate as he pulled the knife out like it was nothing and watched you lying on the ground, completely at his mercy.
His hesitation brought unease to your chest.
“Bucky,” you called again, tears welling in your eyes.
The soldier only frowned, his anger momentarily fading until he seemed to remember something.
He turned to look at the control center. Before running off, he sent you another disgruntled look, just like that time on the road.
Whatever had happened after that, death or not, was extremely painful.
-
tag: @samodivaa @rubyxx16
108 notes · View notes
storiesoflilies · 28 days
Text
to love the sea
pairing: modern!bucky barnes x f!reader.
warnings: angst, brief descriptions of smut and nudity.
a/n: originally posted years ago on my old blog @theoldlily (previously honeybabybarnes). i worked really hard on this, so it deserves to see the light of day again! please enjoy.
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James Buchanan Barnes had once met the sea and it was, without a single doubt, the most precious memory of his entire life.
It was not particularly special, the way they had come to know each other, but it was strangely momentous in its own way. After all, how could he have known that it would have such an impact on his life? It was not even an out of the ordinary day, the hot Spanish sun beat down upon the crowded streets of Valencia, and James had to squint to keep the rays from glaring into his eyes.
It wasn’t an electrifying, heart stopping, moment in time when their eyes briefly met, nor was there any immediate sensual chemistry threatening to explode. No, what struck James so much was how ordinary it was, like the coolness of lovely frothy waves lapping against a sandy shoreline. It was a refreshing breath of air, and he couldn’t help but go and pursue whatever this feeling was.
She was an artist, that much was obvious from the various paintings surrounding her stall, but my god, was she the best one James had ever seen. Not that he was an expert on the subject, but he knew what made a painting truly stand out from just a pretty picture. Or maybe that was just his attraction simply speaking, but he chose not to dwell on it too much.
“Good morning,” he greeted politely, the left corner of his lip curling upwards ever so slightly, a happy twinkle in his cerulean eyes.
“Morning, sir,” she smiled, showing just little sliver of her pearly white teeth. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
James shrugged his shoulders at first, then his right hand softly patted the painting that had caught his eyes the most when he caught sight of her stall. It was an oil painting on canvas, of a rocky seaside with enormous crystalline blue waves clashing against the shoreline, with white seagulls fluttering about in the sky above the ocean. It was not as grand as some of her other pieces, but he took a liking to it anyways, probably because it wasn’t as noticeable as the rest.
“How much for this one?” He inquired, flipping it around for her to see.
She smiled sweetly, albeit a little wistfully, and James suddenly wanted to know everything there was to know about that painting.
“Ah, a little gem among treasure,” she grinned, her fingers gently caressing the paint strokes on the canvas. “I was wondering when someone would take an interest.”
“I think it’s nice,” James said quite plainly, cringing internally when he thought of a thousand other better words to describe it.
She hummed in agreement, placing her left palm across her cheek as she thought, and James took this tiny moment to purely admire her. The strands of her beautiful tousled hair falling out of place, two simple silver rings glinting on her left index finger, her smooth and even skin tone against her radiant eyes.
“Twenty five euros,” she suddenly stated, unknowingly pulling him out of his train of thoughts of admiration for her.
“Are you sure?” He asked hesitantly, almost sure in his head that it must be worth much more than that.
She narrowed her eyes at him, and James decided then and there that he didn’t like that look upon her face at all, and would do whatever it took to take it away.
“I know the worth of my work, sir,” she said tensely, her lips pursed together, annoyance flashing like a warning sign in her eyes.
James shook his head quickly, “Please no, I didn’t mean to offend you, I just meant that it looks like it’s worth at least twice as much.”
She nodded her head in understanding as she realized what he was trying to say, the irritation quickly fading away from her facial expression, and James almost sighed in relief.
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said, an almost teasing tone lacing her words. “But I’m not here to make more money than I deserve.”
“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard somebody say that,” James chuckled, and she laughed pleasantly as she took the wad of cash from him, not forgetting to kindly thank him for his purchase.
James didn’t want to go just quite yet, he really wanted - no, needed - to see this ethereal woman again. There was a little niggling sensation in the back of his head, warning him not to act like a lovestruck fool, but he ignored it in favor for the relishing joy that came with him throwing all caution to the wind.
“Do you mind if I come to collect this later?” He asked earnestly as he possibly could. “I’m sort of running late for work, and I don’t want it to be at the mercy of someone’s spilt coffee.”
That last part was not a lie, James really was running late for work, but that was the last thing that mattered in his mind. She gasped in mock horror, her hands dramatically hovering over her mouth, before she laughed heartily. James heart beat just little faster in his chest, trying to thump it’s way out of his chest to put on a show that was just meant for her.
“Sure thing,” she chirped. “I close at four though, so be back a little bit before then yeah?”
He smiled charmingly, assuring her that he would do just as he was told, giving her a little wave of farewell as he left while reality caught up to him, and he was off running towards his priorities.
-•-
James Buchanan Barnes had once fallen in love with the sea, and it was as liberating as birds falling from the tallest treetops, only to spread their wings towards the sky at the last moment.
James felt like a bird, and she was his wind, lifting him up and taking him to places he had never been to before. After their first meeting at her stall, he had come back at precisely four o’clock to pick up the painting, and insisted on helping her bring her other items back to her apartment.
It was all perfect fairy tales and rainbows after that.
He took her to a quaint little restaurant beside the docks for their first date, famous for its fresh lobster and oysters, and almost did a double take when she admitted that she had never tried oysters. They laughed good naturedly as she ungracefully slurped them down, not that James minded that so much anyways, and she shyly covered the rosy blush spreading on her cheeks and nose as he smiled at her with his eyes full of emotion.
He walked her home afterwards, respectfully keeping his hand on the small of her back, and not once was too forward. James was used to the lustful side of a relationship, he was no stranger to sex and loosing himself in the pleasure, but he didn’t want to go down that path with her. She was different, a strong and mature woman who didn’t deserve the tasteless side of him who loved to please women. She deserved all of him, every fiber of his being, and he was ready to give to that to her whenever it felt just right for the both of them.
They met each other everyday when he finished work, and when she finished closing up her stall, and more often than not, they ended up at one or the others place. Well, James had his own house, but he didn’t mind going to her run down apartment block either. He was not a snob, much to her delight, and relished in being a part of her life just a little bit more. Finding out all the bits and pieces about her, funny habits and quirks - what made her human - was one of his new favorite pastimes.
James realized he was falling in love with her when she was painting.
She was sitting on top of his newspaper covered carpet, her only tools were her various paint colors and a single paintbrush. He couldn’t see what she was doing, her back was against his crème suede sofa, while he sat behind her with his legs comfortably spread.
“What are you working on this time?” He asked softly, his eyes flickering from the TV screen to her.
She lightly smacked his thigh, and he let out a sound of protest, and she giggled, “Not yet.”
“Fine,” he said in a resigned tone, his curiousity growing by the minute.
After a good half an hour, she excitedly clapped her hands together, then hastily checked to see if any paint had splattered on the sofa. James snuck a peak at her canvas, and she glanced up at him as he did so, judging his reaction.
The painting was simple. She had used acrylic paint, and it was just a single picture of a pair of blue eyes - his. From the slight curl of his thick dark eyelashes, to the little wrinkles beside the corners of his eyes when he smiled too hard, and to the deep blue storm held within his irises.
“Do you like it?”
He nodded his head vigorously, gently grabbing both sides her head and planting a sweet kiss on her forehead. She grinned widely, he could feel her pulse quicken as his hands lightly rested against her neck, while an attractive red blush graced her whole face.
If he had to call the blissful time they had together after that, it would be the honeymoon stage. They never left one another’s side, it almost pained him to leave her to go to work in the morning, even though he would see her again only a few hours later. That was what James thought love meant. The constant need to be around each other, to have his heart beat so hard against his ribs it hurt whenever he held her, to have his eyes constantly search through the crowd for her - even when he knew she wouldn’t be there. He thought this was how love was supposed to go, and who was there to tell him otherwise?
-•-
James Buchanan Barnes had once made love to the sea, and it was nothing how he thought it would turn out. It was all cold and violent, beating against him with all the cruelty of the Devil, drowning him beneath churning waters as he tried to swim towards the light.
It was silly really, how it began. James never really understood how it even begun, but it did. One day, she was kissing him and holding him, saying she returned his feelings wholeheartedly, and then, there was nothing at all.
He couldn’t help but think he’d done something wrong, and he tried to correct all the possible options he came up with. Or maybe he hadn’t done something? Perhaps he had to figure it out, and then everything would be alright again. His heart started hurting, and not because it was filled with love anymore. He felt sick and empty, like a porcelain doll in a glass box. His family and coworkers noticed a change in him, but said nothing, because he was a grown man now, and men are supposed to take care of themselves.
Had she been having an affair? James chatistised himself for even thinking so, she was too honest of a person - it defied everything that she believed in - and he knew that all too well. But still, the love in his veins was turning to poison, and he couldn’t help but grow angrier towards her, as she became a shell of the person he once knew.
His family was right, he is a man, and all men have their breaking points.
She was sitting at his dining room table, slowly eating a bowl of leftover paella, probably thinking about all the ways to make herself scarce, when he strode over and gripped her chair from behind. He saw her back freeze up, her fingers tightly grip the fork in her hand, and he felt a little guilty for scaring her - but his heart had steeled, and he no longer cared for her meager feelings anymore.
“Alright,” he started, his voice low and dangerous. “I don’t know what’s happening with you, but I’ve given you time to talk to me, and you still haven’t. I think it’s only fair if you explain why you’re treating me this way.”
She swallowed thickly, obviously nervous, but he didn’t care. He’d had enough of walking on eggshells around her at this point.
“I-I,” she stuttered. “I don’t know.”
James raised his eyebrows incredulously, and exclaimed, “What do you mean you don’t know? You’ve been silent for the past month, and you don’t know why?”
She was quiet for a moment, formulating an explanation in her head. James could see her gears working, and impatiently tapped his fingers against the table as he waited for her to try and speak to him again. It was messed up, but he relished in the feeling of being in control of himself around her, even if it had to happen under these circumstances.
“I’m like this sometimes,” she started, placing her fork neatly against the bowl. “I get into things, and sometimes I think I know what I want, but then I ignore that part of me that says I’m wrong.”
James was beyond confused, not understanding how this was relevant at all, but she continued before he had the chance to interject.
“But then I met you, and I was so convinced that I wanted you. That you were finally the thing that was right for me, that you were made to fit me, but there’s still that part of me that’s telling me I’m wrong. That you’re not what I need, and that I don’t need you to make it easier, and I don’t want to feel that, because I feel I do need you-“
He shut her up with a sloppy wet kiss, fueled with the fire of his rage, and stoked with the smoke of her confusion. A flurry mess of tongues and hands and bodies, and there was nothing right about it when they became lost in each other that night. James gave her everything he had in him, trying to push his love for her back inside, but she would snap out of it and fight harder against him. She was only focused on the fight, the cruel battle for dominance between them, only caring about keeping up the illusion that she was the one in control of it all.
Afterwards, he thought she looked as if she was a painting. Her body was like water dripping from sharp icicles that melted against the burning heat of his skin, almost too painful for him to bear. Her breaths were irregular, the rise and fall of her chest clearly visible beneath the sheets. Her eyes were closed, and James didn’t know if she was awake or dreaming anymore.
He didn’t even know if he was alive, or completely numb on the inside.
-•-
James Buchanan Barnes had once understood what the puzzle of the sea was, and he had hated himself for years afterwards, for playing the part of the naive little boy playing with matches. He was just a another lost sailor in the ocean, trying to follow the trail of stars back towards home, only to be lulled into the dark depths of the ocean by the song of a siren.
He was clearing his house the morning after she left him, trying to rid himself of every trace of her scent and ghostly presence. Goddamn her to hell and back, she was the worst human being James had ever met in his life. He cursed her again and again, vigorously tearing apart the canvas painting of his eyes that he had found unceremoniously dumped in his garbage disposal, before violently throwing it straight on the floor after it almost felt like it was burning holes in his hands.
James was a man in pain who was learning, just as the rest of us are, how to process his loss. He didn’t know how he could forget someone who had changed his whole persona, let alone go back to the person he was before - not that he even remembered who that guy was anymore. If this is what love was, then James certainly didn’t want to feel it anymore, or go through any of it again. He opened the windows, the whispers of her ghost passing right through him and up into the sky, and clenched his fists tightly to his sides. It wasnt until he zeroed in on her painting of the sea hanging on the wall besides his TV, a haunting and horrifying piece of evidence of the crime scene, that it all clicked into place so smoothly in his mind.
James realized she was his sea, the limitless soul that was exactly what he wanted to believe was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. She was limitless, able to travel wherever she wanted to go, but completely incapable of bringing him with her. She was affected by the turning of the clock, of it standing still, and becoming forever trapped in a tank with no way out. She was violent and cruel, her anger was exactly like the waves crashing against the rocks of the painting, but she knew how to be a soothing presence when she wanted to. She needed comfort, she was still only human after all, and to know that she was needed by someone. She wanted to feel important, to be as powerful as a tsunami, to not be afraid to show who she really was - but could not, because then everybody would be afraid.
She was uncontrollable, and he wasn’t the one to attempt to control her. James had left her to be as free as she wanted to be, because that’s what he thought was what she wanted, and that was probably his mistake. Or not, maybe he just wasn’t enough for her. Maybe she wanted the moon instead, not a little sailor who she could douse into nothingness within a second. Perhaps she wanted to fly up and reach for the sky, to touch the stars and the luminous silver moon, who could tell her exactly who she was supposed to be to finally feel happy. He was only a man, who was he compared to the moon of her dreams? He suddenly felt small and insignificant, like a little speck of dust floating about in the universe.
James left the painting where it was, his home bearing it like a battle scar, and resumed the arduous task of picking up the broken pieces of himself - resigning himself to the fact that he was never going to be special enough to be the moon.
- fin -
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Text
dr. feelgood - chapter nine
pairing: Surgeon!Bucky x SurgicalIntern!Reader
summary: Y/N has a one night stand with a handsome stranger the night before starting her new job as a surgical intern. Little does she know, the handsome stranger also happens to be her new boss
warnings: must be 18+, drinking, some surgery descriptions, smut, self-pleasure, praise kink, oral sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, PTSD, choking
word count: 2.8k
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After checking on my patients and changing out of my scrubs, I walked into the parking lot to find Bucky leaning against the side of a shiny black jeep.
“There she is!” he announced, straightening his posture to greet me. “I was starting to wonder if you were standing me up.”
“I would never,” I feigned offense.
“I have a hard time believing that.”
I considered my dating history, “Sure, I’ve ghosted guys before. But I’ve never actually stood someone up. That’s just cruel.”
“Fair enough, but don’t even think about ghosting me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I winked at him. He opened the passenger side door for me, like a true gentleman, and I climbed into the car. 
The drive to his place was short and we made easy small talk on the way. I was expecting to feel nervous in the lead up to our arrival at his place, but I wasn’t. He pulled into the driveway of a brick row home, with navy shutters and white accents along the windows. I let myself out of the car before he could open the door for me and he led me up the couple stairs to the front door. There was a welcome mat on the front porch that read The Neighbors Have Better Stuff and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Is this your version of home security?” I asked, pointing to the mat with my toe.
He chuckled, “My sister got that for me when I bought the house. And I have to say no burglaries yet so it must be working.”
When he opened the front door, I was surprised to find that his house felt very homely. I was expecting a bachelor pad, with hard edges and several shades of grey. Instead, I was met with neutral colors, tasteful art, and warm lighting. Bucky placed his keys on a hook by the front door and told me to make myself at home. I shrugged my jacket off and before I could find a spot for it, Bucky took it from my hands and put it on a hanger in the hall closet. I slid off my ankle boots and found a seat on the very comfortable sectional, as Bucky flipped a switch that started a flame in the fireplace. 
“Here’s the remote, you can find something to put on the TV while I grab us a few drinks.”
I clicked on the TV and was met with a wide selection of programs. “You have all the streaming services…” I spoke in disbelief.
“And cable,” he added.
“Sheesh, living the dream over here.”
“You know what’s embarrassing about that? I almost never watch TV,” he admitted.
I gaped at him, thinking about the intricate network of log-ins I’d collected and bartered for over the years.
He sat next to me on the couch with a decanter of red wine and two crystal glasses.
“Let me guess, this is a vintage sangiovese from a little village in the south of Italy?”
He poured a sample into a glass and handed it for me to try before adding, “Don’t give me too much credit, it’s a midrange bottle. A Spanish tempranillo.”
“Mmm,” I replied, before imitating a sommelier, swirling the wine around before taking a big whiff. I took a sip and contemplated before making my assessment, “I’m getting strong notes of grape.”
Bucky let out a chuckle before topping off my glass and filling his own. He leaned deeper into the couch and I did the same, keeping about a foot of distance between us.
“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to impress me, Barnes,” I declared.
He shrugged, “Is it working?”
“Maybe a little.”
He pulled his phone out and tapped a few buttons, before smooth jazz started playing over the speaker system in the house.
“How about now?” 
“Why have we been spending all this time at my place when you live in this literal smart home?” 
“I had to make sure you weren’t after me for my money,” he joked.
“Oh, is that not clear? I’m definitely only interested in you as a sugar daddy.” He gave me a look and I was pleased to have grated on his nerves just a bit. “But seriously, your house is incredible.”
“You haven’t even seen the whole thing.”
“Are you going to give me the tour?” I smiled.
He nodded, “I can give you a tour.” He stood up and held his hand out for me. We started on our current floor, where he showed me his incredibly clean kitchen and back deck, overlooking the water. Then he took me into the basement, where he had a room that could only be described as a mancave, with a big screen TV, comfortable seating, and a small stocked bar. There was also a small room in the back that had a home gym, full of free weights, a treadmill, and a Peloton. 
Next we headed toward the second floor, which contained the laundry room, home office, and the master bedroom. We paused when we reached the master bedroom, as I entered the room and decided to look around.
“Does this meet your standards?” he joked. I smiled at him as I walked around the bed and peeked into the bathroom. It was immaculate. Perfectly clean and tidy, well decorated, and aesthetically pleasing. I was impressed.
“Are you always this clean?” I asked, still in disbelief.
“Ever since the military. They ingrained cleanliness into me, despite my protests.”
“Remind me to thank them. Most guys I know live in their own filth.”
“Well I’m not most guys,” he said, stepping a foot closer to me. “You want to know the best part about this room?”
“Does music magically play in here too?” I asked.
“It does, but that’s not the best part.” I tilted my head, waiting for him to explain further. He didn’t speak more, but ushered me to come to him. I complied, standing about a foot in front of him, dying in anticipation. He placed both hands on my shoulders and gently guided me backwards, until the back of my legs hit the mattress. Then he pushed me down so my knees buckled and I was sitting on the bed. As I sunk into the soft mattress, I felt like I was sitting on a cloud. I instinctively leaned back so that my torso was on the bed and let out an unconscious sigh.
“This is amazing.”
I heard Bucky chuckle as he watched me, “After I got back from my deployment, all I wanted was a soft bed. I didn’t want any reminders of lumpy cots or sleeping in the desert.”
“I don’t think I can go back to my bed after feeling this one.”
“Well it’s a good thing you don’t have to,” Bucky flirted. He slowly crawled on top of me and my hands instinctively found their way around him. I gently scratched the hair at the back of his neck and studied his face, trying to read his expression. His pupils were wide and were focused on my eyes, flashing briefly to look at my lips. I could sense his heart beating out of his chest, matching my rhythm, and he let out a deep exhale that barely reached my mouth. We were in a stare off, taking each other in and waiting on edge to see who would make the first move. The edges of his mouth slowly turned upward into an amused grin and that was it for me. I pulled him towards me, desperate to feel the caress of his soft lips. His touch did not disappoint. As soon as we connected, I probed my tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. He placed his strong hand on my jaw and entwined his fingers into my hair.
We moved together slowly, savoring the moment instead of rushing to the finish line. Bucky had moved from my lips to my neck, planting wet kisses down to my collar bone, where he lingered, doing things that would surely leave a mark. I ran my hands up the back of his shirt, needing more skin to skin contact. I scratched small circles around his back before I whispered, “Can I take this off?”
He pulled away to catch his breath and grabbed the collar of his shirt from the back and easily pulled it over his head.
“Your turn,” he said smugly. I rose to his challenge, propping myself on my elbows to pull off my top. While I wish I’d been wearing some lacy lingerie, I was clad in a ribbed bralette in heather grey. 
“I’m sorry I’m not in lingerie, but I didn’t expect-”
He cut off my defense with a kiss, massaging my lips with his and sending his tongue in to explore my mouth.
“You are so fucking sexy,” he breathed in between kisses. “Don’t ever apologize for how you look.”
That statement turned me on even more, if that was possible. I pushed him off of me and directed him to lay next to me on the bed. I unzipped my jeans and shimmied out of them, then climbed on top of Bucky so I was straddling him.
“Please don’t make me wait any longer,” he begged. I wanted to tease him more but I wasn’t sure I could hold it together much longer either. I hovered over him, planting a few kisses on his lips before making my way down his body to his pelvis. I playfully nipped at his hip bones before unbuttoning his jeans and pulling them down his muscular legs. I could see his erection through his boxer briefs and wasted no time massaging his bulge.
His head dipped back into the mattress in pleasure, and I had barely even started. I pulled down the waistband of his boxers, freeing his erection from its confinement. I gripped him firmly, sliding up past the tip and back down in a fluid motion. Bucky let out a contented sigh, giving me the confidence I needed to continue. I leaned forward to take his shaft in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down as I massaged his member with my tongue. He reached down and tangled his hand in my hair, gently massaging my scalp.
“I’m not gonna last much longer,” he breathed. I continued blowing him, paying special attention to the tip and fondling his balls. I heard him grunt and tasted the slightly salty taste of his semen. I eased working his shaft with my mouth, opting to clasp him with my hand, as I swallowed down his load. He guided my head up off of his penis and pulled me up towards him, squeezing me into a tight bearhug.
“You are amazing,” he gushed, kissing my cheek and neck repeatedly. I wiggled out of his tight grasp to reposition myself so that I could see him better. I placed a hand on his jaw and pulled him toward me, kissing him with vigor yet again. He placed a hand on my hip, gently running his thumb over my pelvic bone. He pulled away sooner than I wanted, and I tried to pull him back to me. He recognized the look in my eyes, and gave me a soft smile as he brushed a few loose strands of hair behind my ears. 
“Don’t worry, love. I’ll make it up to you.” He gently laid me down on the mattress as he shifted his weight on top of me. He started with my lips, exploring my mouth with a slow, lingering kiss. Then he peppered kisses along my jaw, up to my ear. He tugged my earlobe with his teeth and then planted soft kisses behind my ear. He moved down my neck, applying pressure with his tongue. As he continued south, briefly teething on my clavicle before journeying down to my sternum. He slid his hands up my sides and under my bralette. He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow, as if asking for my permission to proceed. I gave him a quick nod and he peeled the bralette up, freeing my breasts. I pulled the bralette over my head and shivered slightly at the cold air caressing my nipples. Bucky picked up on my momentary discomfort and acted quickly, bringing his mouth to my left nipple as his hand massaged my right breast. I let out an unconscious moan and noticed a smirk on Bucky’s lips before he switched sides to the other breast. Things started to get fuzzy as I was entering a natural high.
Bucky moved down lower, teasing my abdomen, pelvis, and inner thighs along the way. He pulled my thong off slowly, teasing me, but then his tongue found my clitoris and I was sent into orbit. He managed to circulate the use of his fingers, lips, and tongue to all my sensitive areas. My fingers were digging into the bed sheets, looking for something to grasp as I teetered on the edge of my orgasm.
Bucky took me by surprise when he inserted a second finger and I let out a heavy breath. I shifted my gaze down toward Bucky and was met with his ocean blue eyes looking up at me. I could’ve sworn he was smiling too, even though his mouth was focused on pleasuring me. And that was all it took. I succumbed to my orgasm, shuddering and releasing all the tension in my body as Bucky lapped up my juices, savoring every drop. I felt light headed from the intense orgasm that came quickly. I’d never finished like that from oral stimulation alone. I blinked rapidly up at the ceiling, trying to refocus my eyes and sighed, “Oh Buck.”
I felt his weight shift up as he crawled up beside me, “How was that, my little sex goddess?”
I turned toward him and couldn’t hide the smile from my face. He knew exactly what he was doing to me. I nuzzled into him and said, “I don’t ever want to leave this bed.”
“Me neither.”
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I was startled awake by my own gasping. My eyes bugged and I struggled to breathe as the pressure increased to my throat. Bucky was on top of me, his legs straddling my waist, but not in a fun way. He had me pinned down to the mattress and his forearm was pressed into my windpipe. His eyes were glazed over, almost like he was possessed.
I tried to call his name but it came out as more of a gasp. Then I made the mistake of trying to push him off me. I should’ve realized fighting back would just make him push harder, but I wasn’t thinking, I was reacting. 
His hands were now enclosed around my neck as he started to squeeze harder. My first instinct was to panic, but I knew that wouldn’t help break him from his trauma-induced haze. If I could just talk to him, maybe it would wake him up. Maybe my voice could break into the nightmare he was having, even just to serve as a distraction. I tried to speak again, but all that came out was a squeak.
I needed to pull him back to reality, so I tried something unexpected. If he thought I was a dangerous enemy, the last thing he would expect would be affection. I gently placed my hands on his jaw. His expression shifted slightly and his grip on my neck loosened a bit. I took the opening and carefully pulled his face closer to mine, rubbing little circles behind his earlobes with my finger tips. As his face drew nearer, his forehead and nose connected with mine and his hands released my neck. I barely brushed my lips against his mouth and felt all the tension in his body melt away. I took in a few deep breaths, relieved to have de-escalated the situation. Bucky rolled back to his side of the bed, but curled into me. I directed his head to my chest and ran my fingers through his hair, giving him a scalp massage. He fell back asleep with ease, his breaths and body weighing heavy on me.
Despite the soothing sounds of his breathing, I was wide awake. Adrenaline was still coursing through my veins from the attempted strangulation. The strangest thing was, I wasn’t upset with Bucky. That wasn’t the Bucky I knew, it was just a PTSD flare up. I should’ve been scared of him, of another attack. Yet, I couldn’t imagine leaving him. He talked a little about his time in the military but he never got into any of the specifics. PTSD never even crossed my mind, Bucky always seemed so put together. And now that I saw the darker side of him, all I wanted was to help him and protect him from his haunting thoughts.
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lauriegraham01 · 8 months
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40s!headcannons - steve & bucky
pairings: steve rogers x reader, bucky barnes x reader
summary: headcannons of steve and bucky from the 40s.
w/c: 645
content warning: minor angst, mentions of domestic/child abuse, fluff, mention of smoking/drinking.
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Steve Rogers
Steve always being shy to show affection, for fear of rejection. So whenever you initiate acts of affection, he goes red and his heart does somersaults.
He doesn't like to talk about his dad much, it still hurts to think about the abuse he and his mom faced because of him.
But he sometimes misses the way his dad was before the abuse started but he feels wrong for missing someone who caused so much pain.
Steve first learned how to draw from recreating the human anatomy because he had a curiosity for medicine, taking after his mother who was a nurse.
Steve learned how to do everything around the house- cooking, cleaning, hell he even knew how to sew. His mother had instilled the importance of knowing how to take care of yourself within him at a young age.
Coming from Irish-Catholics, he and his mother would attend mass frequently.
Steve loved midnight Christmas mass the most.
Loved reading and saving up to buy new books and comics.
Was the type of kid to hide underneath the covers with a flashlight just so that he could read late at night.
He memorized the entire subway system at one point.
His favorite places to take you on dates would be parks and record shops.
Textbook definition of a gentleman, would open every door for you, walk closest to the street, give you his jacket if your cold, and drop you off at your doorstep after a date.
After the serum, he still wasn't used to his new body so he would still accidently buy clothes that were too small.
Steve wrote to you and told you everything about what he was doing while away.
This man would lose his mind every time you sent him a photo of yourself in your letters.
Worshipped the ground you walked on and treats you nothing short of a queen.
He was afraid that his inexperience would be an issue and after reassuring him that it wasn't he fell even deeper in love with you.
Needless to say Steve loved learning new things with you ;)
Bucky Barnes
Bucky was openly affectionate and it often meant that you would get dirty look from girls who had a crush on him because they were jealous that Bucky was paying to attention to you.
Bucky is Jewish (especially considering that his character is based on another Jewish character/has Jewish influences)
He would invite Steve over for Seder dinners every year.
Bucky cannot cook to save his life, his role in the kitchen often being helping cut veggies or wash dishes.
Bucky was a naturally loud person seeing as he lived with four sisters and had an all around loud household/family.
Bucky picked up street-boxing when he was 13.
Steve hated this. Often having to be the one to patch up Bucky after a nasty fight.
Bucky could understand and even speak a little bit of Spanish, learning from friends and from girls he'd dated before.
Bucky would sneak up the fire escape to be able to knock on your window and see you late at night.
Bucky smokes, but never around you or Steve out of respect.
He is a sappy drunk. He will go on and on about how much he loves you and how beautiful you are.
He can handle his liquor.
He loved going dancing with you- especially at jazz clubs.
An absolute sucker for rhythm and blues.
He knew that he wanted to marry you, but he wanted to wait until after the war to get married.
He had the ring picked and locked away.
He kept a picture of you tucked away in his coat pocket, admiring the picture everyday while overseas.
He wrote to you often, asking about how things were back home. Your responses giving him hope that this war would end soon and he's come back home to you.
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nekoannie-chan · 16 days
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Olden
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Title: Olden.
Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.
Ship: Steve Rogers X Modified!Reader.
Word count: 258 words.
Square: A3 “Body horror.”
Rating: Teen.
Summary: Steve cannot save his beloved ones from HYDRA.
Major Tags: Kidnapping, body horror.
Additional tags: This my entry to @steverogersbingo Steve Rogers Bingo round 3. SB3090.
Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.
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@saiyanprincessswanie
My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.
I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.
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Early 1945
Everyone was talking about what a great team you and Steve were and the missions to overthrow HYDRA so far, even though you had lost Bucky.
With this latest mission, you were hoping to finally get to the Red Skull; however, you had a feeling that a group of Hydra agents surrounded you and Steve. The last thing you remembered was seeing Steve's shield, and then everything went dark; you didn't know for how long.
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2012
Steve entered Fury's office with a serious look on his face. He found it odd that he was being called urgently.
“We think we've found Y/N," Nick said bluntly.
“Excuse me?“ Steve was skeptical; his last few days had been a bit strange, and the last thing he needed was a joke.
Nick proceeded to explain that they weren't sure it was you since everything seemed to indicate that they had tried to weaponize you to serve Hydra.
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Steve looked at you, waiting for you to wake up. He didn't know how he was going to explain everything that had happened all those years ago.
“Steve... You died, didn't you? Or so I heard." Your voice sounded confused as if you didn't know what had happened to you.
Steve made a huge effort to smile. Even though he wanted to cry, he had already been told about all the modifications HYDRA had made to you to turn you into another one of her killing machines.
“A lot of things happened, Y/N, but don't worry, we're in this together.“
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gaysindistress · 5 months
Note
I love u like I’ll get on my knees 😍😍😍😍 CAN U PLEASEEEE PLEASEEEE do TFAWS!Bucky x Latina reader?? maybe more specifically Brazilian?? we need some rep 🥺🥺 HAHA actually though like reader is good friends with Sam and Sam introduces them? Please, and thank u the dead love of my life
AHAHHAAHWH MY FIRST REQUEST!!!! thank you so much love!!
Okay okay so here’s a little Drabble for ya! I feel like this could be a full one shot?? Maybe after my follower celebration that starts on Friday! Also I wrote this on my phone so I apologize if there are any spelling/grammar errors.
Anjo -Portuguese for “angel”
mãe - Portuguese for “mom”
Warnings: cursing
Word count: 1.2k (this was only meant to be 500ish words…)
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disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest
“Please tell me that you didn’t text him,” My coworker asks with an edge of dread and disgust in her voice. For the last two hours of our shift, Lilly has been on me about the guy who left me his number yesterday.
It had been a slow day with only regulars really coming in so a decent looking young guy walking in felt like Christmas. Lils was on it and immediately put on her best flirt, fluttering her big eyes and matching lashes at him when he ordered. I wanted to laugh at the scene but that died when he flashed a smile my way and handed me his number. It was quickly followed by some passing comment about how he hates it when girls throw themselves at him. I had half a mind to throw his coffee on him but I knew my boss would have my head. I settled for plastering a fake smile on my face and saying “Vai pro caralho.” Of course the ignorant asshole thought I was being nice and winked at me. It took all of my strength to not shutter in disgust.
“You should know me better than that,” I throw back at her, “from that 2 minute interaction alone, I can already tell that he would talk about himself the entire date before saying something borderline foul like how Latinas girls are his favorite and he can’t stand white girls .”
Lils snorts as she takes a sip of her coffee, nearly choking and sending the hot liquid flying over the freshly cleaned counter. I arch a dark brow at her which makes her laugh even harder.
“What? Am I wrong? You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t have pulled out that high school Spanish to impress me.”
“No, no,” she stutters, wiping the coffee up, “it just caught me off guard is all. Wait, didn’t you say something to him in Spanish before he left? What did you say?”
I narrow my eyes at her, “Vai pro caralho? Babes you should know better.”
She looks at me in horror, “oh my god it was Portuguese, wasn’t it?”
I nod as she profusely apologizes, “I am so sorry, Y/N. Oh my god I’m not better than that asshat. Ugh, what does that mean though?”
The front door opens before I have the chance to speak and the little bells above alerts us to the one regular that never fails to put a smile on my face. Sam had been coming in since before I started working at Brewed Awakenings but after that first interaction, he came pretty much daily. He even got Sarah his sister to start coming in and within a matter of a few weeks, I was invited over for Sunday dinner.
“It means Go fuck yourself,” I tell Lils as I round the counter with a bright smile and wide arms. Sam matches me and wraps me into a tight hug.
“Good morn, Anjo. How are you?” He asks as he squeezes me into this chest.
I pull back and give him my best angry mãe look we I demand to know where he’s been for the last few weeks.
He holds his hands up in defense as he says, “put those eyes away, Anjo. Im sorry okay? I was on official business and I didn’t have time to swing by to let you know but I’m back.”
I don’t let up my expression at first and lecture him some more, “You better be. You were gone for like…”
I pause for dramatic effect to pretend to count the time while walking back around the counter, “6 weeks. I was about to send out a search and rescue team to find you. Ridiculous.”
Sam chuckles while shaking his head at me. He steps to the side to reveal a man that’s been standing behind him and one that I hadn’t noticed before.
A damn attractive man.
Albeit a bit judgmental given the looks he’s throwing at the both of us.
“I wasn’t gone that long,” Sam tries but stops when I shot him another mãe look. He quickly changes the subject, clapping his hand on his companion’s shoulder and introducing him, “well this is Bucky. He’s the reason I was gone so if you’re going to be mad at anyone, be mad at him.”
Bucky.
He looks familiar but I can’t quite figure out why. The massive resting bitch face forced me I stop the search before offering him a bright smile as I repeat his name.
This seems to…irritate him? I honestly can’t tell with the stone wall of moodiness and brooding that lives on his drop dead gorgeous face.
“Well welcome in Bucky, I’m Lilly but everyone calls me Lils and this is y/n,” Lils jumps in with an equally wide smile. His dark eyes flicker between us but hover half a second longer on me. He utters a low “thank you” and looks up to the menu.
Sam rolls his eyes at his short answer but his ever present smile never fades as he orders his usual, a large hot mocha with soy milk. I’ve tried to get him to switch to coconut or even hemp milk but he refuses. He always gives me the whole speech about how “soy is the closest to real milk and if I’m going to drink alternative milk, it has to be close to the real thing.”
“And for you?” I turn my attention to Bucky while Lils starts on Sam’s order. He looks me with slightly wide eyes, a little startled it seems that I’m still talking to and looking at him.
He freezes for a moment, “uh…um a large house coffee.”
“Of course,” Lils jumps in once again and slides a cup across the counter to him. The loud volume of her voice causes him to flinch and Sam instinctively steps in front of him. He takes the cup without another word and fills it while Sam pays and throws a shamelessly flirty smile to Lils. She mocks faintly in a fit of giggles and winks at him.
Sam turns his attention to him and subtlety jerks his chin towards the door, wordlessly asking me if I’ll walk them out. Lils caught it too and rolls her eyes before shooing us out the door.
“She means no harm. She’s just…cheery,” I tell Bucky when the door closes behind us and we step onto the side walk, “I can tell her to tone it back for when you come in next.”
Sam chuckles under his breath and tries to hide a smile behind his cup but fails miserably. Bucky shots him another one of those bored looks and rolls his beautiful eyes at him.
“You don’t have to do that,” he finally says to me and actually makes eye contact with me, “Y/N.”
I offer him another wide smile and stick my hand for him to shake. He glances down at my watch and rings before taking my hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, Bucky. Don’t let Sam fill your head with too many tales and I hope to see you soon.”
The man in question basically squawks in protests as I hug him goodbye and disappear back into the coffee shop.
About an hour after I get home, I get a text from Sam saying something along the lines of “Robo cop liked you and asked for your number.”
Moments later a D.C. number sends me a text and I quickly save it under “Bucky (aka Robo Cop according to Sam)”
That’s when it clicks who he is; Bucky Barnes, the former Winter Solider and the most attractive man I’ve ever met.
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mara-tevith-solo · 9 months
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It Takes Two
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Part 4 and final part, promise. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x enhanced ex-Avenger reader
Warnings: None? None that I can think of anyway. Domestic bliss, family, second chances at life and happiness, fluff, OC character, birthday party, surprise pregnancy, kids being kids, use of Spanish as a non-native speaker and did my best research for proper words, sappy!Miguel, dad!Miguel
Rated: E for everyone
Words: 2.3k+
There was something about coming home after any length of time away from it, that feeling of missing your bed, missing your loved ones, instantly soothed as soon as you stepped over the threshold every time. There was music playing from the kitchen, not loud, but still welcoming, familiar. "Mommy!" That voice, wavering with excitement, made you drop your pack as the owner of it charged out of the kitchen, her small frame speckled with flour, a new gap in her front teeth.
"Oh there's my little Natalie!" She leapt into your arms, hers tight around your neck as she hugged you as hard as she could, giggling as you lifted her off the ground as your stood up straight again. "Why are you all covered in flour, Mija? Are you spying on the neighbor's cat again?" You hummed as you began taking exaggerated steps further into your home, swinging your legs out wide to the side with every step so that your big little bundle of joy swung and shrieked little giggles as she clung to you as hard as you were clinging to her.
"No, mommy!" She giggled, movement over her head pulling your attention up to Miguel as he exited the kitchen, the very definition of self satisfied as he leaned against the doorframe, splattered head to toe with flour.
You couldn't stop the bubbling laughter as you pressed a kiss to her adorable head "Oh I think I understand now! You waged culinary war on Daddy, didn't you?"
He pushed off of the doorframe as she nodded with devious laughter, letting her grip on you loose as you began to set her back down on her own feet "Welcome home, mi reina." His hand was warm and comforting as it cupped your cheek, pulling you into a tender kiss as he leaned over Natalie, the child making a sound of disgust before racing off back the way she came "I missed you, Mrs. O'Hara." He murmured against your lips as he quickly took the vacated space, holding you close like he hadn't seen you in months. It'd only been two weeks, but he'd always greeted you with the same intense enthusiasm, even if you had been apart for an afternoon.
"I missed you too, Mr. O'Hara." You hummed, stealing a chaste little peck from him, your palm against his chest, refamiliarizing yourself with his heartbeat. "I have a surprise for you tonight."
You smiled up at him through your lashes, easily rendered breathless as he smiled so prettily down at you "Oh?" He rumbled, beginning to sway with you to the music that was still filling the apartment.
You nodded with a soft giggle, falling into step with him easily "Mhmm, I'm positive you're going to love it." You closed your eyes with a contented sigh, letting your latest adventure melt off your frame as you relaxed with your love "Some peace and quiet with my loves is just what the doctor ordered tonight."
He stopped moving, a guilty cast to his eyes as he smiled awkwardly down at you, his mouth opening to release words he didn't get the chance to utter. There was a firm knock at the door, Natalie practically a blur as she rushed past excitedly, beelining for the door as you both just watched "Uncle Bucky! Uncle Sam!" She yelled excitedly, throwing herself at the two men as she opened the door for them, her missing tooth making her whistle Sam's name.
"Hey sweet pea! What have you been up to little miss?" Sam was quick and enthusiastic with his greeting as he picked her up with his free arm, holding her close as he and Bucky entered the apartment, both carrying bags of things. "Glad to see you home, Y/n." He greeted you next, putting down his single bag to give you a quick side hug, Buck setting down the six bags he was carrying to collect you in a proper hug of his own.
"Daddy taught me how to make empanadas like abuela!" Natalie answered enthusiastically, thoroughly proud of herself.
"He did?! That's pretty cool!"
"Glad to be back." You hummed as you hugged Buck tightly, pulling away with a confused glance back at your partner "I love you both, but what's the occasion?"
"Don't tell me you forgot your own one hundred and sixth birthday! Ya old lady!" Peter B announced his presence with a well humored scoff, carrying a small stack of pizza boxes, Mayday on his heels with a bouquet of flowers.
"These are for you, Auntie Y/n!" She announced proudly, thrusting them towards you.
You accepted with a warm smile, immediately smelling them "Aww thank you May! These are my favorite!" Before you could mention anything about finding a vase, both she and Natalie were racing off to go play, giggling between each other.
Without a word and a soft peck on your head, Miguel took the flowers to go hunt down one of the ever moving vases in the kitchen, leaving you with the guests who were conversing with each other "Hope I'm not too late! Parking was a nightmare." Jess announced her presence with a tired smile, pulling you into a hug that you gladly returned "Happy birthday, Y/n."
"Thanks, Jess, you're just as on time as always. Feel free to relax, there should be a fresh bottle of Riesling in the fridge if you'd like some."
Your birthday passed in a blur, fatigue taking all but the major details from your memory as you made conversations with guests. If Miguel noticed your waning energy, he didn't say a thing, instead stayed close to your side and created a sort of buffer so that you weren't constantly talking. "Speech!" You could clearly hear B's voice call from somewhere in the gathering, drawing a cheering of agreement. You could only imagine what the neighbors were thinking.
Jess pulled Miguel from your side with a teasing smile to you both, handing him an empanada in place of a microphone "Yay! Speech! Speech, Daddy!" Natalie cheered loudly, clapping her hands as May cheered along with her.
He looked to you for help but you just laughed and shook your head, sticking your tongue out at him as he playfully waved you off and gave in. He cleared his throat nervously as he looked around the gathering, at all the familiar and expectant faces "Thank you all for coming and celebrating Y/n's birthday with us." He turned to look at you again, his face scrunched with emotion, his eyes brimming with love and adoration "Happy birthday to the most wonderful wife and mother Natalie and I could have asked for, and I can't wait to spend many more with you. Salud a ti mi amor." He held up the empanada as though he was toasting before taking a small bite out of it.
Your eyes misted over with the barest amount of tears as you smiled up at him, closing the distance to press a kiss to his cheek and recollect yourself "I also want to thank everyone for coming and making this one of the best birthdays that I can remember. And, I'd like to thank Miguel for planning this, because I know, if he'd asked, I would have been resistant to such a fuss." Everyone laughed, knowing you all too well, Miguel pressing into you again, his arm solid and centering around your waist.
"Daddy, I'm tired." Natalie mumbled between the two of you, holding one hand up to him as the other rubbed her eyes. His smile was tender as he scooped her up, holding her as she rested against his shoulder, her fingers threading through her hair for comfort. It was one of your favorite views of your family, the relaxed contentedness that radiated from Miguel as Natalie fell asleep on his shoulder. You knew that one day you'd never see the view again, that she'd be too big and not want to be held like that, that she'd insist she was too old for her parents' comfort and love. So you always soaked it up when you had the chance.
"Daddy, I'm tired too." May's voice brought your focus back to the present, back to the party, smile firmly on your face as you watched the ten year old reach for her own father's embrace.
B was all too happy to oblige with a chuckle, holding his bundle close like he used to. "I think it's time to get a certain someone home and tucked in." He chuckled, tone soft and soothing as he ran a hand up and down her back lovingly. "Thanks for the invite, have a wonderful night you three."
"You too, B, thank you for coming." Everyone trickled out after that, though Buck and, consequently Sam, stuck around to help you clean as Miguel sent Natalie to bed, his soft voice floating through the apartment as he read her a story, her little snores following him when he finally joined you all in the living room "Thanks again for coming, guys. It means a lot." You were trying to keep the trash bag from Buck, but he was even more stubborn than you and Miguel combined, taking it from you gently with a teasing smile.
"Of course, doll. Wouldn't miss it for the world, you know that." He assured with a chuckle as you stuck your tongue out at him.
"Couldn't leave our partner out to dry on her birthday, what kind of friends would we be?" Sam scoffed humorously, patting you on the shoulder lightly before making his way to the front door "Which rotation is this? Is it a Here month or a There month?"
"We'll be here for a week and a half more, and then we'll be staying in nine twenty-eight until school starts up." Miguel answered, tucking you neatly into his side. You leaned into the contact, your head resting where his chest met his shoulder as that fatigue began trying to pull you under while you still stood.
Sam nodded understandingly as Buck left the apartment, disappearing with a wave "We'll be seein' ya, Y/n. Have a nice night." With that he was gone too, waving as he closed the door behind him.
You weren't sure how, but the two of you suddenly appeared on the couch, you curled up against Miguel's side, as close as you could be without being on top of him, his fingertips trailing up and down your side soothingly, looking like he was trying to string words together. "So," His voice vibrated through every point of contact you shared, pitched low for privacy and allure "What was that surprise you mentioned earlier?"
You hummed softly as you completely shifted your position, straddling his lap, his hands firm and steady on your hips as he smiled adoringly up at you, his lids slipping closed as you played with his hair a little, brushing it out of his face. You kept him teetering on anticipation as you moved his right hand from your hip and to your lower stomach, thoroughly enjoying the warmth and security it instantly provided. His brows furrowed in confusion as he glanced up at you with half lidded eyes, that shade of garnet that you loved more than any other color "What would you like to name a second child? If we had one?"
He was still watching you with confusion as he mulled it over in his head, taking a moment to actually think about it "Ana, if we had another girl? And Luca if we had a boy? Why, mi corazon?"
Your face lit up like the fourth of July as you beamed down at him, brushing some of his hair behind his ear with a delicate touch "Well, we're going to need a bigger home soon. I don't think it'd be fair for Natalie to have to share her room..."
"Why..." His eyes widened as realization dawned on him, making him grip your hips tightly as he sprang to his feet, holding you high as he spun around with a boisterous laugh "You're pregnant! Oh, mi amor! ¡estás realmente embarazada!" He was careful as he set you down on your feet, pressing his forehead to yours, beaming smile cemented in place "How long have you known?"
One hand threaded with the hair at the nape of his neck, the other pressed over his heart "Only a week. I was feeling weird on the mission and picked up a three pack of tests. They all said the same thing."
His lips on yours were consuming, conveying every emotion that was flowing through him so much better than words could, opening himself up to you so wholly, so intimately "I love you."
"And I love you. More than anything." Without a word he lowered to his knees, his hands circling the back of your thighs as he nuzzled into your lower stomach. You could feel his smile through your shirt, the heat of his relaxed sigh as your fingers massaged his scalp. Your life hadn't been all sunshine and roses, but you were more than happy with how it was going.
"Thank you." He mumbled into your flesh, like he was trying to talk directly to the baby.
You touch migrated to his face, pulling his focus up but not away from where he wanted to be "For what?" You hummed, preening under the earnest, loving gaze of your lover.
His grip tightened, resembling a hug as his thumbs brushed soothing patterns into your thighs "For giving me a second chance."
Your eyes immediately misted with tears as a smile tried to break your face, your fingers carding through his hair again "Thank you for giving me one as well." You hummed past the ball of emotion in your throat.
"Always."
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layla4567 · 8 months
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~MASTERLIST~
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i opened requests btw (sorry if it took me a while to answer them)
Marvel
Peter maximoff:
Imagine with quicksilver
One shot/ Peter maximoff
Imagine: a relaxing shower
You know what I mean
I'm not doing it
Nursing day
Loki:
Headcanons of Loki
Imagine with Loki
Headcanon: Loki as a dad
Nightmare
Headcanon: Loki notices that you are on you period
Celtic ballad
In the meadows
The waterfall
SFW alphabet
NSFW alphabet
I don't trust you
Plushie
Dance for me
You're being mean
Awful things to you
Shoot
The stars are closer
A merry christmas (lokius)
Mobius meet your child with loki (uncle mobius)
LOKI SERIES (OTHERS CHARACTERS)
Too close (Brad wolfe/Hunter X-5)
Scars (Brad Wolfe)
Steven Grant/Marc Spector/Jake Lockley:
Little imagine with Steven Grant
I'm just a librarian (on going)
headcanon: the boys with pets
Bucky:
Headcanons of Bucky
Adam Warlock:
Would you help me?
Adam Warlock headcanons
Drabble (wandavision AU)
Teach me
Namor:
A lullaby, a lotus flower and a cardinal
Evan Peters
Colin Zabel:
Magic night
Vaccines are good
Evan:
Lingerie
Birthday girl
The bear
Luca:
Working together
Will Poulter:
Behave well
Gotham
Jeremiah:
That's how the money works
Lewd pollen
Bruce Wayne
Let me take care of you
Star Wars
Cal Kestis:
May the force be with you
I'm right here
Are you afraid of the dark?
Mr. Tophat:
My Ballerina
Are you lost?
The hunger games
Coriolanus Snow:
Until the birds stop singing
One Piece Live Action
Opla boys with a short reader headcanon
Time for hugs (Luffy sfw drabble)
Sanji with a mechanic reader headcanon
The straw hats hearing your laugh for the first time
Sanji with a fem reader with long hair (headcanon)
The medical (sanji)
Me gustas tu (Luffy)
Until we meet again (Mihawk)
Sweet as peaches (Sanji fluff drabble)
Until we meet again pt2 (Mihawk)
A whole new world (Shanks)
A whole new world pt2 (Shanks)
The straw hat with a spanish speaker
Wild west au/ monster trio
Opla men with a spanish speaker pt2 (mihawk, buggy and shanks)
Sanji with a reader who loves to collect trinkets (headcanons)
Morning routine with Sanji
Take off the sails
Monster trio buying sanitary pads
Valentine's day is for fools
Until we meet again (final part)
Old men with a short reader (buggy, shanks and mihawk)
Halloween costumes with the straw hats
REQUESTS
Hot cocoa (Hunter D90-Loki series)
I'm right here (Cal Kestis-Star wars)
Dance for me (Loki-MCU)
My silly little man (Mobius-Loki series)
Visitors (Mobius)
Sanji with a rapunzel fem reader
Are you lost? (mr.tophat)
A little bit of mischief (D90 loki series)
..............................................................................................................................
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onginlove · 9 months
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attempted first kiss
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pairing: e!1610 miles x black!latina!fem!reader
summary: well, you and miles have y’all first kiss, maybe.
warning: cursing
a/n: might actually restart my whole acc fr. its so unorganized. also a chance for me to practice my spanish 🤭
who wanna be on my taglist for more miles stuff?
masterlist | requests open for e!42 myles, miles, and bucky
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mi bebé ❤️
“hola mami.”
“hi miles. whatchu want?”
“wanna come over my place?”
“sure!”
you walked over to his house bc his house is literally one block away. why the pollution?
anyway, you took some spare keys that miles gave you (y’all r bsf so he trust you with stuff) and walked inside.
“hola mama rio!”
“hi y/n! nice to see you again.”
“you too!”
you then knocked on miles’ door and opened it to see he was on his bed with headphones on. typical miles.
“boo”
“AHH SHIT!”
“hehe, sorry miles.”
“your good just don’t do that again.”
“you wanted me over?”
“yea, i wanted to hangout with you.”
“wanna play call of duty?”
“you mean you wanna see me win?”
“oh it’s on.”
y’all played for abt 30 minutes. miles won every time. and it’s sad bc you tried your hardest too.”
“qué mierda (what the fuck)! that’s not fair!”
“it’s not my fault your bad at this game ma.”
“cállate (shut up).”
he chuckled because he loved seeing you mad. he thought you were very pretty when your mad.
you looked at him while he was laughing, at first angry, then just mesmerized by his eyes. when he stop laughing he saw you looking at him and he looked at you too 🥰🥰🥰
he places his hand on the side of your face and you glance at his very chapped lips (jk i did that just for visuals xd his lips was smooth)
you guys started leaning in and
“QUIEN QUIERE ENCHILADAS?”
yea, mama rio interrupted the kiss to ask who wants enchiladas. she ruined the moment on purpose. it was either that, or many photos of that on her facebook page.
in the end, you never got that kiss 😩
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daisydaisybilly · 11 months
Text
a millon reasons | b.b
pairing: gn!mutant!reader x bucky barnes
summary: Sam, Nat, Bucky and y/n all go on a undercover mission together. where y/n has to trick a mod boss. Bucky and y/n fight the whole time until things take a turn.
word count: 2.1k with song lyrics
warnings: angst, swearing, kind of haters to lovers, little fluff at the end, mentions of past and current violence,
a/n: this has took me far to long to write and I’m very sorry for that but my inspiration has finally come back to me and I finished this! Actually missed writing for marvel too! Might be a little different from the request hope that’s okay <3
Requested by @caritobbg
MASTERLIST REQUEST
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It was just his luck the one morning he woke up early enough to have swim before he left for a mission, you’d be there too. Sat on the edge of the pool at the deep end, your feet dangling in the water. Reading a book with a German title.
Rolling his eyes he looked away from you and began swimming laps. There was something off about you, maybe it was the fact that you were a mutant, maybe he’d never really knew. After doing five laps he looked up again and you were gone, your book lay in the spot you had been.
He turned in a full circle looking for where you could be, did he miss you leave? Are why leave the book?
“What you looking for Barnes?” you smirked making him jump.
He gave you a hard look studying you, your skin had taken on a shinely scale look, your pupils had turned thin. “You were watching me?”. He swam further away from you.
You laughed a sweet sound, he froze. You cringed at what you unknowingly did, you mentally made a note to push yourself harder in training. “That would mean you were interesting. Which you aren't’”. You swam with grace to him, “Nervous about the mission, Barnes?”.
“Would you stop calling me that!” he snapped.
You blink, “James then? Has a nice ring to it”.
He opened and closed his mouth.
You smirk again, “Well James i’ll see you later”, you lowered yourself fully into the water and swam away.
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Bucky watched you flip through another book in the jet, he couldn’t understand how you got through them so quickly.
“Are you listening?” Sam asked at you.
Not looking up you nodded, “I need to distract an arms dealer called Mike Burr, Ideally with my voice” you turned a page, “You guys are gonna want to wear those blockers Stark made, the metal is basically the only thing that can block my mutant powers”. You put the book down giving all your attention to Sam. “I got this and you guys have got me” you smiled showing off two pointy teeth, “this is gonna be easy”.
“We’re in luck you’re not as well known as us” Nat said nodding to the siren”
“Good to know my training worked” you noted.
Bucky tilted his head, “and what exactly was your training, you never said”.
You met his eyes smirking, that was his first mistake.
“Well growing my power first off, sadly control was never really on the curriculum” Before he could comment she continued, “then French, German, Spanish and of course Russian, very basic. Sorry Nat”.
Nat just laughed, shaking her head.
The siren laughed too, it wasn’t as high as it was in the pool. “Then basic fighting. I’m very flexible” you winked to Bucky.
He looked away annoyed, looking to Sam to see his take on you, but of course he thought Sam was laughing too.
“Any more questions James?” .
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In the back of the La Rue, Bucky stood by the stage door while you got ready. The colour of your outfit studied your skin tone so much even Bucky had to compliment you. Still he blamed the Siren part of you, that part was designed to lure people in.
You met his eyes through the mirror. “Something you like, James?” You grinned. You turned in your chair and faced him, “Or do you see me as a threat?”.
“How do I know you’re not?” he asked, for a moment the smile fell, you blinked at him then turned back to the mirror.
“You’re so serious, it’s getting old” you muttered rolling your eyes, With a loud thud you kicked the chair back. “Then again, it was never young”.
You both looked at each other, maybe it wasn’t the siren part that lured him in, all he wanted to do was hold you close. “You guys ready?”.
You moved first, gracefully Bucky thought, you were always graceful. “Yeah we’re going out now” you spoke to Sam through your ear piece.
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The first night passed by unsuccessfully, Burr was at the club but showed little interest in you as you were just serving drinks. You knew Bucky was annoyed the mission was let down, it wasn't done in one night, you were thankful that you didn’t have to share a room with him. You actually nearly cried tears of joy when you were put in Nat’s room.
Normally you were fine sharing a room with whoever but something about Bucky rubbed you the wrong way. He hated you and you knew it, sometimes you would look up and just see glaring at you.
Honestly you knew you didn’t help the situation much, but it brought you a lot of joy annoying him. Calling him James was your new favourite thing.
Nat kicked the side of your bed making you mutter something obscene. She chuckled, shaking her head, “The guys have invited us to their room for a drink”.
“You mean Sam did” you corrected him, “Bucky wouldn’t invite me if his life depended on it”.
Nat huffed, still smiling, “let's see if a few drinks won’t loosen you both” she winked.
You hummed not believing her.
Just as you expected Bucky just watched you while Sam and Nat chatted loudly to fill the empty silence, you were more open to talking than Bucky was. It wasn’t fair to Sam nor Nat, they didn’t have a problem with you.
Thinking that you got annoyed, you didn’t have a problem with Bucky, he was the one with the problem. Scoffing, you looked down.
“What’s up with you?” Bucky shot in your direction. Sam and Nat grew quiet.
You raised your head. “Huh?”.
“Huffing and scoffing in your corner”.
“Supposed to glaring and brooding in yours” you shot back. His moment of shock gave you a rush to go on. “I think it’s about time you tell me whatever I’ve done to piss you off so much”.
He sucked in his lips.
“Go on” you hissed through your teeth.
“I don’t trust you. You were trained to draw people in and destroy them. Why should anyone trust you?” He spoke like they facts.
This time he took your moment of shock to carry on.
“You said so yourself you have no control over your power. You said it wasn’t taught but how long have you had to learn? I think you like the power you have”.
“Buck-” Sam finally spoke.
“No” you cut him off, “Let him finish”.
Shock came over Bucky again. The calmness in you was a surprise, but he carried on, “You are impulsive and arrogant, I think it’s likely Burr will discover who you are and you’ll put us all at risk”.
“Well thank you for your opinion on my skills and training, James” you stated face unmoving. “Don’t worry I’ll be out of your hair soon” everyone looked at you confused. “I have been contacted by another group, a bit more secret than the avengers and I’m going to take them up on it. Lucky for me they like impulsive and arrogant mutants”.
Nat called after you as you left the room.
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Everything Bucky said was true, you were impulsive, arrogant and a mutant. When you first got the offer you pushed it aside, happy where you were in life, helping the world with a team you loved.
But after tonight you were done. Your whole life had been about embracing your mutant gene and the powers it had given you. Yes you admitted to yourself your control was a weak point, but you knew when and when not to use it, or really who to use it on.
I could have this whole world in the palm of my hands, you thought. I could have them all begging for freedom. I could- no you stopped thinking. That was not who you were, you wanted and you do help people.
The more you thought about Bucky words the more they hurt. You would get this mission done and never see any of them again.
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The next night you sat again before the mirror in the dressing room of the club, you were dressed in another eye-catching outfit, maybe even more so than the night before.
The door behind you softly opened, “I’m not in the mood James” you said loudly. Bucky still walked in, frowning.
“How did you know it was me?” He asked.
You rolled your shoulders, “your footsteps, I can tell who's who”.
“I want to apologise about what I said”.
You stood from the chair looking at yourself one last time, “what’s been said can’t be taken back, I’ll be gone soon so none of this matters”.
The lights made it nearly impossible to see into the crowd but you knew that Burr was out there, the music you had picked slowly started.
You're giving me a million reasons to let you go
You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show
Your voice came out soft and luring, just what you needed, as the song went on you could feel your power in the air, the call stretching out from the stage.
I bow down to pray
I try to make the worst seem better
Lord, show me the way
The song boarded on being too personal, you were still cut up about what Bucky had said, no matter how much you told yourself he didn’t have to like you, it didn’t help. It wasn’t your actions he hated, it was who you were.
And if you say something that you might even mean
It's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe
Can't you give me what I'm needin', needin'
His words still stung, Steve had told you stories about Bucky, a kind Bucky, so those words were even more of a shock.
Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith
But baby, I just need one good one
Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one
I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one, good one
Tell me that you'll be the good one, good one
Baby, I just need one good one to stay
By the end of the song, you felt the tears on your cheeks, the lights had lowered giving you a wide view of the crowd in one smokey corner at Burr. You made a point to meet his eyes before retreating into a private room, through your ear pierce you heard Sam tell you Burr was making a room to follow.
Nat and Bucky were moving into their places, sitting down on a velvet couch they kept their eyes locked on the door. After a few moments Burr entered. You smiled, nodding to the spot beside you.
'To what do I owe the pleasure?’ You asked sweetly.
He joined you, his hand resting on your knee. “That was quite an act”.
“You’re too kind” you shook your head, getting closer, “it was just a song”.
“A very personal song, No?” He spoke flatty. You smiled dropped for less an a second. He had gotten too close, too fast. One hand held your jaw and the other scraps something around your neck.
The moment the lock clicked in place you felt it, your power pulled from you. A human scream left your lips as you fell to the floor. Try as you might, you couldn’t get the collar off.
Burr stood high above you, watching you fight and panic. He threw something to the floor by you, the same blockers the team was wearing. “Did you think I wouldn’t recognise a munt when I see one”. Your whole body went cold, he knelt down lifting your chin with his finger. “What a pretty price you’ll bring to me”.
You refused to cry, it went against everything you stood for.
He grinned, somehow even more pleased. “Or maybe I’ll keep you to myself, I could rule the word with someone like you”. You smashed your head against his, he swore and hit the fall behind him.
You jumped to your feet and towered over him, pressing your foot down onto his throat. “Or maybe I’ll sell you” you spat, “I will not be the puppet for anyone else ever again.
The door to the back room was kicked open by Bucky who came running in holding up a gun. His face relaxed incessantly seeing you were okay. All the fire fell from your body seeing him. He ran to you, pulling you into his arms.
Next came Nat and Sam who put Burr into cuffs. They found the key and unlocked the collar from your neck without disturbing you and Bucky. “You’re okay” wasn't a question he already knew.
“Basic training” you shrugged.
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