Title: All this and Heaven, Too
Pairing: Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Caught in an anti-hero demonstration, you become an unwilling participant in a political game of tug of war. Tony Stark wants you to be the new poster child for his pro-Avengers rhetoric, Nick Fury wants you to fade into the background, and Bucky Barnes… wants something else from you entirely.
Warnings: Near Death Experience, Noncon, Stalking, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Smut, Breeding, Infidelity, Dark!AU, Grey/Dark Avengers AU,
A/N: 👀 i can only hope y’all are as excited to read this next chapter as i am to share it with you. i’m so happy to be back in the Rattler-verse!! bottom divider by @firefly-graphics.
The work below is my own, and is unbeta’d and unedited. I do not consent for it to be translated and or posted elsewhere by anyone but myself. Minors, DNI!
The makeup artist spritzes you with something, telling you to close your eyes just before the droplets make contact with your skin. You’ve never been much for makeup, and so when Tony asked if you’d like someone to “get you camera ready”, you’d said yes without a second thought. Now though, as she spun you in the chair and positioned you like a doll, you were beginning to regret it.
“Just stay still, yes?” She says sternly in her thick accent. “Spray need time to set.” She seems rather busy, flitting around the little room with the nervous energy of a hummingbird. “No touch face,” she warns, waggling a finger at you. “I be back.”
You count to ten before opening your eyes nervously, expecting to see Svetlana waiting with her arsenal of make-up brushes, but instead, you see Bucky. Leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, his eyes cloudy and unreadable.
“Oh,” you can’t help the sharp intake of breath as you raise your hand to your chest in surprise. “S-Sorry. I was expecting…” You trail off. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He says. “I’m just first on guard duty.” The smile he gives you is unsure, like he doesn’t know whether it’s okay to make a joke or not. He reaches out a hand for you to shake, and you take it, noting the warmth and whir of machinery under your touch.
“Ah.” You tap your fingers against the arms of the chair you’re in, unsure of what to say. You don’t know if you should bring up that you remember him, remember what he did—he didn’t seem too comfortable with it in the hospital room, and you’re loathe to invite the dislike of one of the people tasked with your protection.
“I um, I just, God, sorry this is awkward. I wanted to say thank you. Um. For saving me. I’m going to say it, you know, out there, but I thought it might be more meaningful if you, um. Heard it from me personally first.”
It isn’t quite surprise that graces Bucky’s ; features, his eyebrows rising up his forehead. More like incredulity, like he hasn’t really ever been thanked before.
“You’re welcome.” He says after a moment, like he’s trying to figure out just how to respond. “I know Tony can be pushy.” He rolls his eyes, and it makes you laugh. “But thank you. For what you’re doing.”
You’re still not sure about it, and the thought of standing in front of the press is starting to make your hands clammy. A nervous laugh bubbles from your lips.
“I wouldn’t thank me yet. I’m not the best public speaker.” You fix Bucky with a wry smile. “There’s still time to find someone better, I think.”
“You’ll do fine, doll. Just… pretend they’re not there. Would it help if I stood in the audience?” He asks, a small smile on his full lips. “Make it like you’re talkin’ to me. Not them.” His suggestion brings a shy heat to your cheeks—that’s the kind of thing Pat would have suggested, if he’d been able to get the time off from the nursing home to make it, anyway.
“Yeah, actually. You’d do that? I thought you were just supposed to like, keep people from stabbing me, sort of thing,” You joked, and he laughed.
“I can do that from the audience, doll. Your guy’s got nothing to worry about.” He jerks his head towards the modest oval cut diamond on your left ring finger. “Already saved you once, figure I’ve got a pretty good track record.”
You laugh, and it surprises you because it’s actually real. You’d been worried they would all be like Tony, plastic and terrible and fake, but Bucky seemed… nice, despite his kind of checkered past. You’re about to say something else when Svetlana clears her throat behind him. Her foot taps impatiently against the expensive tile as she glares at him.
“Move, metal man. I finish her now.”
Bucky holds his hands up placatingly. “I’m goin’, I’m goin’. I’ll be right outside if you need me to,” he pantomimes a chokehold, and you stifle a giggle. He seems… relieved, like he’d been on guard—and you had to admit you had been too.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
It wouldn’t be so terrible to come out of this with a friend—maybe one that would enjoy Patrick’s four hour Call of Duty sessions more than you did.
When Svetlana finishes your makeup, you’re sandwiched between her and Bucky all the way backstage. You swallow nervously at the sight of Tony Stark, locked in a particularly heated conversation with Nick Fury—who didn’t look happy.
“—options? Creating your own propaganda machine just the next logical step?”
“It’s not propaganda if it’s true. You know we can’t afford another Germany, not now—”
“Buck! And the guest of honor, I presume.” Steve Rogers steps directly into your field of vision, a hand outstretched for you to shake. “Nice to see you again.” You finagle your crutches until you can balance long enough to shake it firmly. His wife peeks out from behind him, and Steve wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “No need to be shy, sweetheart.”
You watch her give a strained smile. “Nice to meet you.” She’s heavily pregnant—likely about to pop any day now. You recall the news headlines from just months prior, the news footage of Captain America pulling his beloved wife from the firey wreckage of the accident.
I wouldn’t want to be here after that, either.
Steve presses an affectionate kiss into her hair. “I’m going to go find a place for this one to sit down. Shouldn’t be on her feet too much.”
“No, I shouldn’t,” she echoes softly, before giving you a genuine smile. “Good luck out there.” Her eyes flick to Steve and then back to you. “You’re in the snake pit, now.” You can’t ask her what she meant before Steve places a firm hand on her shoulder.
He steers her away, and you glance at Bucky. There’s a strange sort of… longing in his gaze as he watches them go, and you wonder if he has anyone to go home to. You only have a few seconds to ruminate on it, though, before Tony Stark’s wide grin is all you can see.
“Thank you for coming, thank you.” He looks genuinely pleased, at least. “I trust Sunshine here’s given you the rundown?” Tony jerks his thumb at Bucky, who simply glowers in his direction.
“Yeah. I go up there and utterly humiliate myself in front of the city and probably the whole world,” you mutter, wiping clammy palms against the dark blue fabric of your dress.
“You’ll do fine, kid. Can’t be harder than getting shot, right?” He claps you on the shoulder, and you swallow the urge to shove his hand away. You’re queasy enough as it is without the additional conflict.
Tony takes the stage before you do, and his solemn expression is reflected on the many screens all around the room. He’s used to press conferences, you can tell—he knows exactly where to look. It’s hard for you to concentrate on his introduction as you shift in your chair, waiting anxiously for him to pass the baton to you.
You wish Pat was here—he would know what to say, what to do to make these nerves nothing more than an unpleasant tingle in your chest. No, Pat is at work, again, and it’s your fault. You clench your fists against your thigh, and try to take deep breaths. Slow, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
“You okay?” Even though his hand is made of metal, Bucky rests it lightly on your shoulder. “You need water, or something?” He looks up toward the stage, where you can see Tony’s back as he gesticulates, the same serious expression still painted onto his features. “Hate these things.”
“Yeah. I’m… well, you know.” He rubs the back of his neck. “Winter Soldier, and all.”
You nod your understanding. “No, I, um. I get it.” Bucky’s smile is small, but grateful.
“Say the word, and I’m your man in the crowd, doll.” He reminds you, just as Tony turns and gestures to you.
“It’s time,” he mouths the words at you, just in case his clear signals weren’t enough.
“Yes, please. Do that.” You huff out a breath as you situate your crutches under your arms and hobble over to the short set of steps. There’s a podium, and a little red stool beside it, which you gratefully sit on. There are so many people, cameras flashing—your heart thuds in your chest faster than an oncoming train.
And then you spot him. Close to the front, in the middle, his arms folded but there, and you breathe a sigh of relief. Thanks Bucky.
You’d missed Tony’s introduction entirely, but you don’t really need it—hands immediately begin popping up as you settle yourself on your seat, and hesitantly, you call on one of the first reporters you see.
She stands a little taller, raising her microphone above the crowd. “In your own words, what happened on April 17th?”
“I, I, um—” You glanced down at Bucky and tried to remind yourself you were just talking to him. A casual conversation between friends. “I’m an art history student. Masters. So I am—I was,” you correct yourself, “at the Museum a lot. I think I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, because I was in the exhibit room Adrian Kettleton locked himself in when he came to make his demonstration.
I don’t know what happened before he started shooting. But when he did… everyone was on the ground. There was a lady there w-with kids,” your throat goes tight, and blindly, you grasp for the microphone. “S-sorry, I, um, I need a minute.” You turn away from the reporters, cover your face with your hands, and tryto breathe deep. What would Pat say?
“It’s okay, babe, take all the time you need.”
You wait until your heart is steady again before you lower your hands
“Kettleton opened fire, and he said this would all be over soon. That the cops would show up and that—” You choked back a sob—“only a few people would have to die.” You hadn’t even really talked about this with Pat, leaving it for the insurance-provided therapist to untangle. He shot two people before me while the police tried to talk him down, and…” Bucky nods encouragingly at you from the audience.
“Then the Avengers showed up. I… I had already been shot, but… I would be dead if they weren’t there.”
You’re not sure if you did what you were supposed to do, Bucky’s face is passive, and you can’t really look behind you to gauge Tony’s reaction. A man in the front raises his hand, and you point at him.
“So what you’re saying is, the police were ineffectual?”
You frown. “N-no, I didn’t say that, I said—”
“You said that the Avengers showed up. You’d already been shot, isn’t that right?”
You press your lips together into a frown. “Yes. Yes that’s right. But I’m not saying the police were ineffectual. I’m saying that the Avengers saved my life. ”
“I see.” You wonder how far he’ll run with that, how far they’ll all run with it, but several more hands jump into the air, and your heart beats faster at the sight of them.
“Do you believe the shooting in Texas and the one in Shanghai are related?”
“Did you know Adrian Kettleton prior to the shooting? You both attended NYU, only a few years apart.”
“Your father shares some anti-hero sentiment, how does he feel about this?”
You’re dizzy as Tony helps you from the stage, camera flashes still seared into your retinas.
“You did good, kid. Real good.”
“It’s not that bad.” Patrick’s voice is wheedling through the bathroom door. You’d gotten home a few hours ago, and had been grateful to spend your evening binging the shows you’d missed with Patrick on his night off—
Until your phone began blowing up with clips of you, at the press junket. Different news stations had grabbed different parts, zeroing in on everything. Your speech, your movements, your hair, your clothes—
Rita: you seeing this?
Your little sister had attached a screenshot of a twitter thread, and you huff out a frustrated breath as you glare at it.
“It’s not you they’re publicly dissecting,” you moan. It’s not just your friends and sister sending you things, it’s your socials—your twitter mentions are numbering in the tens of thousands, and your facebook friend requests look about the same. Your private instagram account has seven thousand follow requests, and you scroll through them all with your heart in your throat.
There are people calling you a liar, a con artist, claiming the Avengers were in on it, that they’d paid you to take a bullet. There were people claiming you’d never even been shot at all, which in and of itself was laughable. There were more, kinder folks, sending you well wishes, along with bots attempting to hawk you miracle remedies and diet teas.
“You know there’s someone claiming to be my third grade teacher?” You lament. “Which, if that really is Miss Hayes, makes me feel like shit because she called me a petulant little drama-queen.” Patrick sighs, and you can feel the weight of it through the door.
“One, I doubt that’s her because she would be like, ancient now, and probably not on twitter at all. And two—” The sound of the intercom buzzing cuts him off, ringing loudly through the apartment. You can practically hear the frown in Pat’s voice. “Who the hell…? I’ll be right back.” He clamors away from the door, and you get to your feet, brushing a few cat hairs from your leggings.
“Oh. I just, I guess we didn’t know you were coming. Starting tonight? Okay. Hold on, I’ll buzz you up.”
You poke your head out of the bathroom door in time to see Patrick unlocking the front door at the far end of the long hallway.
“You didn’t tell me you were supposed to have bodyguards,” he shout-whispers at you. “Your first shift is here. I think it’s all the press stuff.” You pad down the hallway to peek around Patrick, listening to the sound of heavy footfalls coming up the narrow stairs to your apartment.
Bucky’s chestnut hair comes into view first, and then his dark, steel blue eyes light on yours and he smiles.
“Hey, there, dollface.” Your face warms as Patrick’s grip tightens almost imperceptibly on your upper arm. “Sir.” He nods to your fiancé in greeting, and Pat relaxes a little.
“I thought I only needed someone, you know. During the speaking engagements,” you say, stepping aside to allow Bucky into the apartment. Patrick locks the door behind him, his face a bad mask of good-will. He isn’t happy about Bucky being here, but the both of you know he’d deposited Tony’s check yesterday—there was little he could do about it now other than ride it out.
“Some of those folks online are saying some pretty nasty things. Thought it might be a good idea for one of us to be close by in case anything happened.” He doesn’t step further inside than the foyer, like he’s trying to make it clear he knows he doesn’t belong. “I can stay out in the hall if it’s a bother.”
“No, of course not.” You know Patrick would have told him that was fine—male pride—but it isn’t, not for you. “You came to protect me, the least we can offer is the couch.”
You hobble around after Patrick, helping set up the couch for your unexpected guest. Bucky doesn’t intrude, toeing off his boots in the entry way and hanging his jacket on the hook while he waits.
“Thank you. I’ll just knock out here.” He lays down on the couch, folding his arms behind his head. You and Patrick retreat awkwardly into the bedroom, and he turns on a random show on Netflix to cover the sound of his whispered frustration.
“It’s just, you’d think they’d tell us something like that could be a possibility.” He runs a hand through his curly hair. “It’s just… It’s a little scary, I guess.”
“Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to go sign up for this,” you shoot back. Patrick relents, throwing his arms up and heaving an irritated sigh.
“I hate when you’re right.”
“You just hate that I think things all the way through,” you mutter, punching his arm. “Now help me into bed.” You giggle as he sweeps you up, depositing you onto the bed. You haven’t slept with Patrick since you’d been home from the hospital, and he hadn’t pushed, but tonight when he kisses you, there’s intent behind it that you can feel. You sigh against his mouth, bringing your hand up to cup the side of his face.
There’s a dull thump and the sound of footfall— was the door always open a crack?— but living in a building this old means your life has a soundtrack of unexplainable noises, and so you dismiss it.
Pat is careful, his thrusts slow and shallow when he slides in, and you sink your teeth into your lip to hide your soft moan at his entry. He feels good, familiar inside of you, and he brings his thumb down to rub at your clit when he cums just before you can. You whine into your closed fist, your thighs trembling as your walls contract around his still hard cock. Pat makes a pleased noise low in his throat before he slides out of you, kissing the tip of your nose.
It feels like a walk of shame as you hobble to the bathroom to clean yourself up, but Bucky’s deep, steady breaths assure you of his slumber when you sneak back to bed. That’s ridiculous. I’m an engaged woman and this is my house.
You lay down next to Patrick, falling quickly into dreamless sleep.
Hazily, some hours later, you’re aware of the sound of his pager going off, and he shifts with a groan. You’re used to it, him being called in early for a shift, though you hate the loss of him. Your bed is warm and comfortable, even without Pat in it, and you fade softly in and out, time interrupted by the brief stretches of black behind your eyelids. Pat getting up—and then dressed—and then kissing you goodbye, his cologne tickling the insides of your nostrils.
“Bye babe,” he whispers, brushing his lips over the apple of your cheek. “Be back later.”
“Mmm,” is all you manage to mumble in response. Something clicks— the front door, maybe? You aren’t sure —and in the silence, you slip back into slumber. You’re dreaming of flying, and then— hands, rough, warm hands, no, one is cold, cold on your skin— you mumble sleepily.
“Mmm,” he grunts from between your legs, his nose pushing up against the seam of your panties. He pushes up the hem of your t-shirt, and you feel the cool metal of his orderlies’s tags against your thigh before he moves them away, his lips dragging over the spot the’d just vacated. You’re so tired—the painkillers keep you woozy until at least mid-afternoon—your eyes are barely cooperating as Patrick attaches his lips to your clit through the thin cotton of your panties. His beard rasps against your thighs, burning against your skin deliciously.
You gasp, thighs tightening around his head. Two fingers edge beneath your panties, tugging them aside so that he can slide his tongue through your folds with an appreciative sigh. You drag a hand through his hair under the blanket, and Patrick chuckles huskily against your core.
“Feel good, sweetheart?”
His voice is off , somehow, too husky, too low, but the pressure of his fingers at your entrance pushes the thought from your head. The sweet burning stretch of them makes you keen, your hips bucking up toward his face. He doesn’t let up, and you squeal loudly as his teeth scrape against your sensitive clit, and he curls his fingers inside you.
“Go on and cum, sweetheart. S’alright.”
You do, your toes curling as tears leak out of the corners of your closed eyes. You whine as he wiggles his fingers inside your spasming cunt, drawing them out with an embarrassingly slick noise. There’s another sound, like he’s licking them clean, and he chuckles again.
You sit up in bed with a start, wincing at the pounding in your skull. The pain meds always make you feel hung over when you wake up, and today is no exception. A glance at the digital clock on the table tells you it’s after midday, and Pat’s side of the bed is long cold.
I must have slept through him leaving, again.
You slide out of bed, and your cheeks heat at the wetness between your thighs. You’d known Patrick missed sex, but you hadn’t thought he’d missed it that much. You couldn’t keep the little smile off of your face as you limped to the kitchen, and found Bucky seated at the table, a newspaper in hand.
“G’morning, sleepy head. Your honey left you some breakfast on the stove.” He jerked his head toward the plate on the bottom right burner. You lifted a corner of the paper towel, and saw he’d left you scrambled eggs, with a few slices of cheese on top. “He always leave so early?”
You popped the plate into the microwave, nodding.
“Yeah. They’re really short at the nursing home, so it happens a couple times a week. But if he left that early, he should be back—” Patrick’s key clicks in the door, and you laugh. “Right about now.”
You hear him kicking off his shoes in the entryway, before he pokes his head into the kitchen. “Oh, look, you’re up.”
“Blame the pills,” you grumble, grinning as he presses a kiss to your cheek. You run the backs of your knuckles over the smooth curve of his cheek, and you furrow your brow. “When did you shave?”
“This morning, before I left.” He cocks his head as you swallow thickly. “Why?”
Your eyes slide to Bucky, casually skimming the paper as he lifts a mug of coffee to his lips.
To be continued…
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soup and crackers
in which bucky takes care of you when you’re sick
word count — 1,053
a/n; hello hello ! just a quick self indulgent drabble as i am currently sick :P
Allergies were a bitch.
You’d been stuck in bed all day, under four blankets, shivering and sneezing. Your body ached, everything was cold and you had a pile of tissues next to your bed and two empty tissue boxes on the nightstand. Your hair was a mess and you looked deathly.
The worst part of it all?
Bucky wasn’t home. He was off on some mission since three days ago, possibly coming home today, possibly not.
Part of you hoped he didn’t come back today, you wanted him to come back in a couple more days when you were healthy again, not now where you know he’s scold you for being under four blankets despite having a fever. Another part was praying to every deity out there that he wakes in the front door any second now.
You’d been in and out of sleep all day, having only ate a granola bar, two Claritin’s and four bottles of water to top it all off.
Pausing the video you’d been watching, [half watching, you feel asleep four minutes in and woke up at the 30 minute mark only to pass out again later] you got up to use the restroom, dragging yourself and whining as you moved. Every muscle in your body was screaming at you to just lay down. After brushing your teeth and grabbing another water bottle you curled back under your blankets, shivering and blowing your nose one more time before passing out again.
It was quite a sight to see when bucky walked into the apartment. It was late in the afternoon so he expected you to either be cooking something or watching stuff in the living room, but when he heard nothing but the faint sound of some true crime video from your bedroom he knew something was up.
He set his bad down and took his shoes off, walking quietly to your shared bedroom and peeking in, seeing the lump of blankets and tissues littering the room. Bucky frowned slightly when he saw the Claritin box on the nightstand alongside som Vicks and tissue boxes.
“oh doll” he whispered, looking at your sleeping form, he couldn’t see much though, considering you were completely engulfed by the blankets.
Bucky debated pulling the blankets off you and waking you up to take your temperature, but by the way he saw your body shaking slightly he knew you had a fever. He shook his head, recalling the various times he’s told you to not give into the chills because it’ll just make the fever last longer.
Bucky was tired. He wanted nothing more than to shower and join you in bed. But he knew better.
Instead, he headed for the kitchen, grabbing some veggies and some noodles and getting to work. He grabbed your favorite mug and placed a tea bag in it, heating up some water before pouring it in and taking it to your shared bedroom, placing it on the nightstand before exiting.
You stirred awake at the sound of of footsteps outside. Your vision focused on the hot cup of tea, still steaming on your nightstand, you whined slightly as you sat up, taking the cup of tea in your hands and drinking it slowly. Bucky had added just enough honey in your tea, knowing that you liked for it to be sweet.
After you finished the tea, as if on cue bucky walked into the room, a soft smile on his face when he noted the empty mug.
“good morning doll” he spoke, a lopsided grin on his face as he took the mug from your hands, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“morning” you spoke, your voice hoarse. You cringed at how sick you sounded, knowing you were in for it when bucky saw your pile of tissues. You turned to look down at the tissues only for it to be gone, along with the empty boxes and the Claritin packed away with the exception of two tablets.
“i cleaned up, figured you’d be too tired” bucky spoke up after you took in your surroundings, “now gimme these blankets and come eat, i know you haven’t ate anything for however long you’ve been sick.”
You moved slowly, your body sluggish and heavy. Finally you managed to pull yourself from the warmth of the blankets, your feet hitting the ground as you trailed behind bucky to the kitchen.
“made you some noodle soup, eat up while it’s still warm, im gonna go shower if you need anything tell me okay doll?” He spoke as he served you soup in a bowl, much more than you think you could fit in your stomach.
You nodded softly and bucky kissed your temple, mumbling a soft ‘love you’ before heading to the shower. Before you knew it you were almost done with the soup and two packets of crackers, not realizing just how hungry you were. The soup was amazing and made you feel warm, you were no longer shivering and you felt yourself getting better.
As you placed the bowl in the sink and sat on the couch, bucky walked out with of the restroom, hair still wet and a smile on his face.
“how my favorite girl feeling?” He asked, you blushed slightly at the nickname.
“better, just tired still” you replied, bucky handed you a couple more pills and a cup of water, you took them quickly and set the cup down on the table, cuddling up to your boyfriend as he flicked on the tv and scrolled through the channels.
After a couple minutes of silence you spoke up, “thank you for the soup it was so good whatd you put in it?” Bucky only gave you a cheesy grin before replying.
You couldn’t help the smile the made it’s way onto your face as you rolled your eyes at him, your head continuing to rest on his chest.
You felt warm inside, you felt comfortable and your body felt lighter than before. Your breathing evened out and before you knew it you slipped into a peaceful sleep. You felt loved, safe and secure. Even on your worst days, bucky was there to take care of you. You were happy bucky was home, at the end of the day, you always wanted bucky home.
part ii: neighbors
Summary: Bucky has given up every hope, but what happens when fate steps in? In what seemed a hopeless situation to be, life might have other plans in store.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word count: 15k+
Warnings: suggestive language, angst, fluff, explicit themes, MDI, 18+
part i: roommates
A/N: Soooo here it is at last! This part is written mainly from Bucky’s pov. I apologize in advance for any mistakes, but I’m not a native speaker. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
A/N 2: Let me know what you think!! I love reading your comments!! It’s what motivates me to keep writing! Also, i may or may not have plans for a third part? What do you think? PART 3? Let me know!!
Bucky took a sip of his coffee as he happily skipped the stairs to his apartment. He was humming a tune, when he noticed that the apartment’s door opposite him was open. He could hear things being placed around and for a second stood on the doorframe, trying to peek into the apartment.
“Hey Buck.” Maria, the girl who had the apartment opposite Bucky’s, greeted him.
“Hey, Maria.” Bucky smiled at her, entering the apartment. “Are you going somewhere?” He took a look around the apartment that was now half-empty; big, brown boxes filled to the brim and luggage with clothing scattered around the apartment floor.
Maria was currently taping the box in front of her. “I’m moving out.”
Bucky frowned. “So suddenly? I don’t recall you mentioning anything.”
Due to his new work, Bucky has been busy the last couple of days and didn’t have a chance to catch up with Maria.
Bucky had moved into his new apartment almost 4 months ago and started developing a friendship with his neighbor. Maria was in her late twenties, so Bucky and her being around the same age, got along really well. When Bucky had first moved in, he wasn’t at his best shape – at least mentally. He still missed his old apartment and… you. So, let’s say that when Maria knocked on his door one afternoon to bring over some freshly baked cookies, he was more than grateful for his cute neighbor.
“Yeah, it was sudden. It was more like an overnight decision.” Maria replied tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “My boyfriend is moving to another city and we finally decided to give moving in together a try.”
Bucky groaned. “You’re leaving me alone…” He pouted.
Maria giggled. “I’m sure you’ll find new company.” She walked towards him. “I heard that the new neighbor is cute.” She winked at him.
“How do you know that?” Bucky furrowed his brows. “You haven’t even moved out. When did they even find a new tenant?”
Maria smirked as she picked up the scissors from the counter. “You know Brad… he can’t keep his mouth shut. Plus, he wanted the apartment out of his hands as soon as possible. So, he asked me if he could show it to anyone who might be interested.” Maria explained. “I agreed and he had a girl over to show her the apartment.” She scrunched her nose up in thought as she sliced the tape with the tip of the scissors. “I think they were here two days ago? Two girls, he told me. Both really cute according to him.”
Bucky shook his head playfully. Brad was the owner of the apartments in this floor. He was in his mid-thirties and he liked to drink and party. Oh, and also he liked girls a lot. No wonder he felt the need to be specific about the girls being cute. Steve had commented that he and Brad has these things in common. Bucky liked Brad, but he could be too much sometimes. The guy could drink a Russian under the table and never knew what the day before 1pm felt like.
“So are they going to rent it?” Bucky asked stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Eager, aren’t we, Buck?” Maria looked at him playfully.
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Just asking. For a friend.” He smirked.
Maria chuckled. “I don’t know, but Brad seemed very pleased, so I’d assume so.”
Bucky dosed off into his thoughts for a few seconds. His mind traced back to a few months ago when he was still living in his old apartment with you. He thought about how every morning he would find a cup of coffee that you had made and how you’d comment on his laziness; you’d scold him about how late he woke up and how drunk he came home. Although you always bit each other’s head off, you’d always had lunch ready for him and painkillers on the coffee table to take in the morning after being hangover; you’d also pick up his clothes and even did laundry.
“James, you don’t need a roommate. You need a mom.” You had told him one day as you were picking up his clothes from the couch throwing them into the laundry basket.
Bucky was sitting on the couch, eating cereal. “Thanks, mommy.” He turned to you with a big smile on his face, mouth full of cereal.
You rolled your eyes as you walked away, muttering to yourself.
Bucky smiled at the memory.
“Hey, lover boy, why don’t you give me a hand?” Maria’s voice brought him back to reality.
Bucky shook his head as he picked up the heavy box. “When are you leaving?” He asked her.
“Tomorrow.” Maria replied as she placed another glass into the box with the big, red letter ‘fragile’ written in the front. “So that means we have a lot of work.”
It’s been a week since Maria moved and Bucky was starting to feel lonely. He’s gotten used to having someone near him that he could knock on their door and just talk and drink for hours.
Steve had been busier with work and he’d also been living with Wanda since summer ended, so he wasn’t seeing him as much.
The new neighbor had moved in a couple of days ago, as he saw the new doormat outside the door, but he never caught a glimpse of her or him. When he knocked on the door one day, no one answered so he’d figure they must be at work or something. At night Bucky was at work and he woke up the next morning rather late, so he didn’t have a chance of meeting the new neighbor yet.
Bucky was sitting on his couch, a glass of whiskey in hand. He had his day off and Steve and Wanda all agreed to go out. Bucky was hesitant at first, not being really in the mood, and thought he’d rather stay at home and wallow on his own, but Steve insisted.
“Come on, bud. We’re going to have fun. I promise you that you’ll feel better.” Steve promised.
Bucky agreed eventually. He was all dressed up, waiting in his living room for the time to pass so he could leave and meet up with Steve and Wanda.
Bucky took a sip of his drink, when he heard the doorbell ring. He furrowed his brows and checked the time. It couldn’t be Steve and Wanda. It was too early. Plus, he was supposed to meet up with them there.
Bucky got up from the couch, placing the glass on the counter as he went to answer the door.
He opened the door and felt his breath being knocked out of his chest.
“It’s a nice apartment.” You commented as you looked around, arms crossed on your chest.
“I told you it’d be perfect for you.” Wanda smiled.
You looked at her with arched brows. “You’re very persistent, you know.”
“I’m just looking out for you, Y/N.” Wanda shrugged, still a bit suspicious about her behavior.
All summer while living with your parents, you realized how much you never, ever, want to go back to living with them. You loved them to death, but they could be too much; too much stress that you already had on your own so you didn’t need more.
While working part time in the lawyer’s office your dad had talked you about during the summer, you were also looking for a full-time job back in the city. You had almost given up when nothing came up, but then you remembered the card Mark had given you when you had rented the apartment.
Just the thought of your old apartment made your heart clutch. You missed the apartment and along with it, you missed Bucky; you missed the way he was making you mad; the way he smirked at you; his dirty jokes; the way he would roll his eyes while you were scolding him.
“It’s your turn to do the dishes.” You pointed out to Bucky.
“What? Since when are we taking turns?” Bucky asked.
“Since I keep doing the dishes all the time.” You fired back.
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Y/N.”
You were fuming that day.
You chuckled at the memory. You picked the card with Mark’s number and called him.
And that’s why you were now here, searching for an apartment with Wanda. Mark had set an appointment to meet with his friend, Nick, so you could talk about the job.
Although you were nervous at first, you tried your best to be calm and professional so you’d get the job. You needed it more than anything and you were willing to do whatever it took to get it.
Turned out that Nick was a really nice guy. He was in his forties, and after a very brief interview he hired you. “You can start on Monday.” He had informed you, shaking your hand. You thought your face would split in two from how big was smile was. It was the most important opportunity you had and it also gave you an out from your parents’ house.
“What do you, ladies, think?” Brad, the person who you’d be renting the apartment from, asked you.
You noticed how he’d be looking at both you and Wanda since the moment you stepped into the apartment, but you ignored it as best as you could.
Before you could answer, Wanda chimed in. “We’ll take it!”
You turned around and gave her a look. “What do you mean ‘we’ll take it’? Last time I checked, I was the only one looking for a house. You live with Steve.”
Wanda rolled her eyes playfully. “I know… I meant you’ll take it. But since I’m going to be crushing at your house sometimes, I think I’m allowed to express my opinion.”
You snorted at that.
“So, is it settled?” Brad flashed you one of his big smiles.
You let out a breath. and nodded at Brad. “We’ll take it.”
When Bucky saw you exit the apartment and drive away with Wanda, he felt a pain in his chest.
What was happening to him? Ever since the New Year’s party, he kept feeling… off. His heart would be beating faster; his palms would get sweaty and a warm feeling inside his gut would start bubbling.
He tried to ignore it. He really did. He tried drinking it away; sleeping it over; partying it again and again; harder and harder. But it kept growing. Bucky even considered going to the doctor’s, but he was scared of the doctor so he decided against it.
“You alright there, Buck?” Steve entered the apartment.
Bucky was staring out the window. Wanda’s car was nothing but a dot by now in the long road. He looked over at the little café in the corner where you and Wanda used to have coffee; the way you laughed or rolled your eyes; the sound was still ringing in his ear, almost bringing a smile to his face.
Then he knew. He fucking knew. How could he be so blind? How could he be such an idiot?
He panicked. He felt like the walls were crushing in and his knees would buckle any moment.
“Steve…” Bucky whispered.
Steve looked worryingly at his friend as he stood next to him while Bucky was staring out the window. “What is it, Buck?”
Bucky lifted his eyes over to his friend. “Steve, I…” he felt like the words were chocking him, “I… I’m in love with Y/N.”
He finally let it out. All these months, he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Those words were so hard to spit them out; it felt strange rolling on his tongue. They sounded strange and unfamiliar and that scared the shit out of him.
Steve was studying him. Bucky was looking at him in pure horror.
Steve put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and let out a breath. “Fucking finally.” He grinned at him and Bucky looked at him confused. “I mean, was it that hard to realize Buck? I knew it like,” He scrunched his face in thought, “I don’t know, since New Year’s probably.”
“You’re an asshole.” Bucky muttered and Steve chuckled. “Does Wanda know too?” He asked suddenly alarmed. If she knew then she could tell you. Bucky didn’t want for you to find out, because he was sure you didn’t feel the same way and it would only make him look like a bigger idiot than he already felt.
“Relax. I haven’t told her anything. And from what I know, she doesn’t seem to know either.” Steve reassured him. Bucky let out a breath of relief. “And what are you going to do now? Are you going to tell her?”
Bucky shook his head furiously. “No. I don’t want to make things more complicated. She’s gone either way. Maybe that’s for the best. We’re not exactly a match made in heaven.” Bucky tried to joke but his heart broke just by saying these words aloud.
Bucky could tell that Steve didn’t agree from the disapproving look he was giving him, but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded understandingly. “That’s your call, Buck. I don’t want to push you.” He only said patting him on the shoulder.
And that’s where Bucky left his confession; back at the old apartment; with tons of memories and his broken heart.
Bucky was frozen in his spot. He tried opening his mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out. He just kept staring.
You were here. You were standing in front of him and you looked more beautiful than ever.
You seemed just as surprised as him. You kept looking at him, and Bucky could tell that you were also struggling to find the words to say.
“Y/N...” Bucky said breathlessly.
“James…” You matched his tone.
“What are you-“
“I was just going to ask for some coffee.” You said slowly, not even realizing what you were saying.
“What?” Bucky furrowed his brows confused.
“I’m the new neighbor.” You pointed to the door opposite Bucky’s.
“So… how have you been?” Bucky handed you a glass of wine.
After the awkward interaction at the door, the first shock had passed through and Bucky had invited you inside for a drink. You both needed one at this point.
You took a seat on the couch and Bucky couldn’t help but notice how graceful you were. You never took too much space in a room, yet he would notice you in crowd. You looked more grown up; more like a woman. Bucky wanted to hug you tightly and never let you go, but he just settled admiring you from afar.
“Good. I have a new job now. Hopefully I’ll start building on my career.” You smiled and thanked him for the wine, taking a small sip. “How are you doing?”
Bucky took a gulp of his whiskey. “Great. Starting fresh you know. I’ve taken fewer shifts at the bar and I’ve actually found a day job. I’m going to be giving up the barman life.”
You arched your eyebrows but smiled proudly at him. “That’s really nice to hear. What kind of job have you found?”
“Mechanic.” Bucky answered.
“Oh yeah, you were helping your dad who was a mechanic.” The words slipped so casually out of your mouth and you immediately retreated. “I think that’s what you’ve told me.”
A small smile was playing on Bucky’s lips. You remembered that little detail that he had once told you. “You remembered.”
You cleared your throat. “Yeah.”
There were a few seconds of awkward silence. You were tracing your fingertips on the rim of the glass while Bucky was looking at his whiskey. He had so many things to say to you, but he just couldn’t. All these months that he hadn’t saw you, it was easier to forget everything. Now you were here across from him, and the pain in his chest was creeping up again.
“You never called.” Bucky muttered and lifted his eyes to you.
“You didn’t call either.” Your gaze was fixated on him.
Bucky chuckled. “Is that so? Are we going to turn this into an argument?”
You arched an eyebrow. “Maybe. For old days’ sake.”
You took the last sip of your wine and got up from the couch. “I have to meet up with Wanda and Steve.”
“Then, let me accompany you because I’m also invited.” Bucky winked.
You hesitated and shook your head, smiling. “Of course. You must be the surprise, then.”
“Was the surprise good?” Bucky grinned, pointing to himself.
You chuckled shaking your head. “You haven’t changed at all, James.”
“You can call me, Bucky, doll.”
Bucky took his jacket as he led you both out of the apartment.
It’s been a month since you had moved into the apartment opposite Bucky’s and it felt like you’ve never left your old one.
“JAMES!” You banged on his door.
Bucky was trying to ignore his heart thudding every time he met you in the hallway or whenever you’d meet at the front door early in the morning while he went to work. He tried to focus on something else. He tried to pick up more shifts and stay later in the garage he was working now. He checked the time you were always leaving for the office and took a couple more minutes to get ready so he could avoid you.
Then, he went back into his old tactic; drinking and partying, his copying mechanisms.
That was why you were now here, banging on his door as music was blasting from his apartment.
Bucky answered the door, already half-drunk with a girl clinging to his side. “Y/N!” He slurred. “You came just in time!”
You rolled your eyes. “James, what the hell are you doing? It’s 2am on a working day. Don’t you have work tomorrow?” You crossed your arms.
Bucky just furrowed his brows. “Come on, Y/N. Live a little!” The girl on his side buried her face in his neck.
You shook your head disapprovingly. “When are you going to grow up, James?”
“It’s my apartment, Y/N! I can do whatever the fuck I want!” He barked at you and you felt a bit taken aback.
“I’m living next door, James! I cannot sleep with you partying all night!” You fired back.
Bucky rolled his eyes. “That’s your problem.”
You glared at him for a few seconds not saying anything. “Is that how it’s going to be from now on?”
Bucky just rolled his eyes. “I can do whatever I want!” He snapped.
“FINE!” You shouted.
“FINE!” He raised his voice as well and you stormed off, slamming the door of your apartment.
Bucky watched you disappearing and he immediately cursed himself. He knew he was being an asshole. It wasn’t your problem. It was his. And he had to fix it.
Bucky knew this tactic of partying and generally being an asshole wouldn’t work. And it didn’t. So when Steve gave him an hour long lecture, he knew he needed to cut it out.
“Buck, you’re not being serious, are you?” Steve placed his hands on his hips as Bucky was standing there like a kid taking a lecture from his parent. “Drinking? Partying? Sleeping around? Do you think these would help you? You need to either get your shit together and talk to her or just give up and move on with your life.”
Steve was right, he had to pick.
And he could do it.
“I will.” That was all Bucky could say.
Bucky started by apologizing to you. He knocked on your door, a cup of coffee in hand along with your favorite pastries.
When you had opened the door Bucky expected to look at him the way you did. You were glaring at him, your arms crossed over your chest. Even when you were mad, you were hot, Bucky thought and immediately swallowed these thoughts down.
He let out a string of apologies while you stood there, listening to him.
“Croissant?” He offered holding the paper bag in the air.
Your stoic face broke into a smile. “Come in, James.”
That was all Bucky needed.
The rest of the month rolled out like a reminiscence of the old days.
You went back to arguing.
“James, there are beer bottles all over the hallway. I almost slipped the other night!” You pointed to where the empty bottles were scattered around.
“I was going to pick them up.” Bucky said.
“When? They’ve been here for three days!” You pointed out.
“Ok, ok.” Bucky put his hands up in surrender. “Look, I pick them up.” Bucky sighed as he crouched down and started picking them up. When he had every bottle placed in line next to his door so he could throw them away later, he looked at you. “Happy?”
You sighed and rubbed your temples. “You’re insufferable.”
That was two days ago.
“So, how is having Buck as your neighbor?” Wanda asked as you placed a cup of coffee in front of her.
“It feels like the old days.”
Wanda chuckled. “I guess some things never change.”
“I guess so.”
You and Wanda were catching up over coffee. Ever since you got this new job, you had less free time and since Wanda was also staying with Steve while also having a job of her own, you didn’t have the chance to hang out as much as you used to.
“I hope you don’t have anything planned on Friday.” Wanda took a sip of her coffee.
“I don’t think I have.” You scrunched up your nose in thought. “Why?”
“We’re thinking of going out to a new place. Steve’s old friend from high school owns it.”
“Who is ‘we’?”
“Me, Steve, you and Buck.” Wanda answered. “You don’t get to say no. It’s not a suggestion, it’s an announcement.” She smirked.
“Oh, thanks for letting me know, Wan.” You said sarcastically.
“No problem, babe.” She winked.
“Exactly as I had predicted it. She doesn’t even remember.” Wanda said as she took a seat on Bucky’s couch.
“How can someone not remember their birthday?” Steve asked in disbelief.
“We’re talking about Y/N… Is anyone even surprised?” Wanda trailed.
“When’s her birthday?” Steve took a sip of his beer.
“On Friday.” Bucky blurted out as Wanda gave the same answer simultaneously.
Wanda gave him a surprised look. “You know?”
Bucky tried to play dumb. “You told us.”
“No…” She said slowly. “I don’t remember telling you.”
“Then I just guessed it.” Bucky shrugged.
Wanda didn’t seem convinced by his answer, but went on talking about how she had planned a surprise party for Y/N at the new club Steve’s old high-school friend owned. She apparently invited some friends from university and she was now looking for a birthday cake.
Bucky wasn’t paying attention; his mind drifting to the way he had found out your birthday.
Bucky was frantically searching for his driver’s license. He was sure he had left it somewhere in the kitchen. He sighed frustrated, running a hand through his hair, as he tossed and turned every single paper he could find. Finally, he spotted it. He made a happy sound and reached for it.
“This is not mine.” He whispered. He turned the small plasticized piece of paper in his fingers. It was your student ID.
Bucky eyes’ scanned the information when he caught your birthday.
“That was last week.” It was the week that you were still locked up in your room, mad at Bucky for ruining your relationship with Thor. He suddenly felt even worse.
He had to make it up to you somehow.
“Buck, what do you think?” Wanda pulled him out of his memory lane.
Bucky hummed not having heard a single word. “Yeah, sounds good.”
They spent the rest of the night planning your birthday party.
Everything was ready.
Balloons were decorating the room and the cake was placed in the middle of the table with all the candles lined on top.
“Yes, Y/N. On your right.” Wanda was talking on the phone with you, giving you directions to get to the place. She wanted to capture your expression when you saw what everyone had planned for you, so Wanda just told you to meet them there. “Ok. We’re waiting for you. Bye!” Wanda tried to control her nerves as she hung up the phone.
“Is she coming?” Steve asked as he tossed one more balloon in the air.
“Yes!” Wanda squirmed. She turned around and clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Ok, everyone! Y/N is going to be here any minute now, so I want everyone in position.”
Everyone nodded and gathered around the table where the cake was set.
The DJ was ready to start the song Wanda had picked and the barman lowered the lights as Wanda gave him a ‘thumbs up’.
Bucky’s heart was racing and he didn’t even know why. The small box was sitting heavy on his back pocket as he kept checking it ever few minutes.
“She’s here!” Wanda whispered yelled.
Everyone was quiet while you entered; your heels clicking on the floor.
“Hello?” You hesitated and that’s when the lights were turned on and everyone burst out shouting “Happy Birthday, Y/N!”
Bucky’s words died out in his mouth as his big smile fell off his lips at the image of you with a guy by your side.
Your face was of pure surprise and joy when you saw everyone jump out singing you ‘happy birthday’. Your eyes were glistening as you brought your hand to your mouth in total shock.
Bucky saw the scene unfold in front of him in slow motion.
You were hugged by everyone. First in line was Wanda, who practically jumped onto you, hugging you and spinning you around. Then, there was Steve who pulled you into a tight embrace and gave you a soft kiss on the forehead. One after the other were hugging and wishing you ‘happy birthday’ as you smiled big, thanking them.
But the thing that broke him the most was when the guy you were with, leaned in and gave you a kiss on the lips. The worst part was that you kissed him back. Bucky could hear the cracking sound of his heart breaking.
“Buck, aren’t you going to wish the birthday girl ‘happy birthday’?” Wanda’s voice brought him back to reality. He thought that he was underwater and someone had pulled him out.
He looked at her as Wanda gave him a small smile, worried.
“Go on, bud.” Steve gave him a tight-lipped smile, understandingly.
Bucky couldn’t even control his body at this point, but his feet led him in front of you. You were talking with this guy, but Bucky couldn’t give a damn about him. He was only looking at you; how pretty you looked in that dress; how your smile lit up the whole room; how your eyes were sparkling. God, he almost melted when you turned to look at him.
“Happy birthday, Y/N.” The words came out effortlessly as he gave you a smile.
You smiled back, looking at him. “Thank you, James.” Then, you leaned in and hugged him.
Bucky was taken aback, getting nervous that you might feel how fast his heart was beating under his chest. But he hugged you; he hugged you so tight, he thought he was suffocating you. He could smell the perfume on your hair. He could feel your skin so close to his lips.
You slowly pulled away and he immediately started missing your warmth.
You stood there for a few seconds until you shifted the gaze towards the other man. “James, let me introduce you to Sam.” Bucky lifted his eyes to the other man who was standing next to you, smiling. “Sam, this is James.” You pointed between the two. “James, this is Sam,” the next words were a stab in Bucky’s heart, “my boyfriend.”
Who knew that two words can actually hurt so much?
Sam extended his hand for Bucky and Bucky shook it mechanically. Every move was on auto-pilot.
“Nice to meet you.” Sam smiled.
“Likewise.” Bucky gave him his best fake smile.
Wanda gathered everyone up again as the song she had picked started playing and the candles were now lit, waiting for Y/N to blow them out.
Everyone started singing ‘happy birthday’ as Y/N watched, smiling from ear to ear. You finally blew the candles, not before you were being reminded by Steve to make a wish.
Bucky made a wish too. It seemed childish, but he made that wish.
“Time for the presents!” Wanda cheered. “Mine first.” She handed Y/N a big box as she kissed her on the cheek. “Happy birthday, babe.” Wanda whispered as you thanked her.
You opened the box to reveal a very nice, and what Bucky assumed very expensive, bag. “Wan, you didn’t have to.” You said grinning from ear to ear as you pulled her in a hug. “Thank you, little witch.”
One after the other everyone handed you presents as you thanked them. The little tiara that Wanda had placed on top of your head sometime during the ‘happy birthday’ song was slipping every now and then.
Bucky took a look around and spotted Sam talking with Steve. He made sure everyone was done handing you gifts, and when he saw you were finally alone, he approached you.
“Hey.” Bucky said almost breathless.
“Hey.” You smiled at him making him go weak on his knees.
“I got you something.” He fiddled with his back pocket pulling out the small box.
You seemed surprised. “You know, you didn’t have to.” You were blushing or maybe it was Bucky’s imagination.
“Of course I had to, doll.” Bucky smirked. He tried to play it cool, in a desperate attempt to swallow his nerves. “Here,” He handed you the small box. “I hope you like it.” He said shyly.
You gingerly touched the red, velvet box, as you slowly opened it. “James…” you were shocked, “James, they are beautiful.” You stared at him, your eyes almost as shiny as the earrings sitting inside the box.
You took them out of the box, looking at them in awe. “Do you like them?” He asked nervously.
You nodded furiously. “They’re perfect.” You whispered. “Thank you, James.”
Bucky smiled at you. “Anything for you, doll.”
Maybe he was feeling brave; maybe it was the adrenaline or the couple of drinks he had already; maybe he felt like he wasn’t the one controlling his body but someone else when he leaned in and kissed you on the cheek.
You gasped in surprise but didn’t flinch. “Happy birthday, doll.” He whispered in your ear and he could feel you shiver.
Bucky pulled away; he needed some fresh air. What was wrong with him? Why would he have to do that? You were with another guy.
As he turned to leave, he missed the way you looked at him, as one single tear made its way to your cheek and you quickly wiped it away.
He walked out of the club.
“And that was probably their best game!” Sam said excitedly as Bucky rolled his eyes from the kitchen where he grabbed another beer. “You should’ve watched it, Bucky.” Bucky scoffed. “You’d like it.” Sam added.
“You’d liked it.” Bucky mocked under his breath. He appeared back into the living room, handing Steve a beer as well. Sam was currently talking about the football match he went to last Sunday, but Bucky could not care less. He was annoyed just by Sam’s presence.
Bucky plopped onto the couch as Sam stood up. “Are you leaving?” Bucky perked up and Steve elbowed him in the ribs earning an ‘ouch’ from Bucky.
“Just going to the bathroom.” Sam replied and made his way to the bathroom.
When Steve heard the bathroom door close, he turned to Bucky, looking at him disapprovingly. “What the fuck, Buck?” He talked in a low voice not to be heard by Sam.
Bucky sighed. “What?” He just shrugged taking a sip of his beer.
You had introduced Sam to everyone three weeks ago. You had met Sam at the law firm you’d be working. Sam was a client and after you helped him with a case of his, Sam offered to buy you a drink to thank you. One date turned into another and you finally ended up going out. Steve liked Sam, but Bucky could just not stand him. It wasn’t that he was a bad guy. It was just that he was your boyfriend; that was a good enough reason for Bucky not to like Sam. However, he really tried not to show it, especially in front of you. He didn’t want to let you down, so he tried his best to include him in your little gatherings. But the guy did not know boundaries; he was always around. When he wasn’t in your apartment, he was in Bucky’s. He just wanted him gone.
“Can you be nicer?” Steve asked.
“I am nice!” Bucky defended. “I haven’t kicked him out yet, have I?” He challenged and Steve shook his head in exasperation.
Sam came out of the bathroom. “I better go. Y/N is going to be home any minute now.” Oh yeah, the best part; he had your apartment keys too. Not even Bucky had your apartment keys. But then again, why would you give him your apartment keys? Sam was your boyfriend. Bucky was… your neighbor. Maybe your friend on the days you weren’t biting each other’s head off.
“Don’t let us hold you.” Bucky murmured.
“See y’all later.” Sam greeted you as he left the apartment.
“Buck!” Steve exclaimed as soon as Sam left.
“What!” Bucky argued.
“It’s not going to be easy, but you have to move on.” Steve emphasized the word ‘have’.
“I know.” Bucky sighed.
“Then, do it.” Steve said sternly.
That was easier said than done.
“Can you tell me what’s gotten into you?” You cornered Bucky in Steve and Wanda’s kitchen while the rest of them were in the garden.
Wanda and Steve had the idea of having a Sunday barbeque since the weather was pretty nice. Bucky didn’t want to go at all. Last night, he went out and drunk his guts off. Again. Steve was scolding him all morning, but knocked it out when you and Sam; not wanting to make his friend look bad in front of your new boyfriend.
“What do you mean?” Bucky shrugged.
You were staring at him for a couple of seconds and then shook your head in disbelief. “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”
“You can’t fool me, James. I’ve seen you drunk and hangover more times than I can count.” You raised your voice but not too much so anyone could hear.
“And why do you care?” Bucky snapped. “You don’t have to babysit me anymore! You’ve got a boyfriend to do that for!”
“What’s your problem, James? Whatever it is, don’t take it on Sam.”
“I don’t give a fuck about him.” He spat.
“Then, what the fuck is your deal?!” You said exasperated. “Because you keep being an asshole! Sam doesn’t deserve this. He did nothing wrong!”
“You really like him, don’t you?” He chuckled dryly.
“That’s none of your business.” You gritted your teeth.
You were both glaring at each other; your faces close enough that Bucky could smell the wine you had.
“You fucked him, didn’t you?” The words tumbled out of Bucky’s mouth faster than he could process them.
You stood there frozen. You just stood there, staring at him in utter shock.
Then, you slapped him.
Bucky didn’t even flinch. He knew he deserved that.
He felt his heart sink deeper as he saw your eyes welling up. “Don’t ever talk to me again, Barnes.” You spat before storming out of the kitchen, leaving him alone.
Bucky punched the wall.
This was not how he was supposed to be moving on.
The rest of that day was spent with you not even sparing a glance towards Bucky. You hadn’t told anyone what had happened between you and Bucky in the kitchen. And a part of him was thankful that he didn’t have to embarrass himself more.
It had been a week since that happened. Bucky was face-planted on the couch. A bottle of whiskey was next to him; now empty.
You hadn’t spoken a word to him for a whole week. He tried to talk to you but you ignored him. When he left for work in hopes he’d meet you in the hallway, he’d notice you were already gone earlier than you used to. After work, when he’d ring your doorbell, you never answered. He knew you were ignoring him.
It was Sunday now, so he didn’t have to go to work and interact with anyone else. The only one who’d keep him company for the rest of the day was Jack Daniels. His most trusted friend these past few days.
“Buck, open up!” Steve banged Bucky’s door.
Bucky groaned trying to ignore Steve’s voice but the banging only grew louder which made his headache bigger.
He stumbled to the door, letting Steve in as he plopped back down on the couch.
“What the hell has happened to you, Buck? Why don’t you answer your phone?” Steve took a look around the mess that was Bucky’s living room. He picked up the empty bottle. “Have you been drinking again?” He sighed.
Bucky remained silent.
Steve took a seat on the couch opposite him. It pained him seeing his friend like this.
“What’s going on, Buck?” Steve asked softer.
“I’m an asshole. That’s what’s going on.” Bucky chuckled humorlessly as he sat properly on the couch.
“Can you be more specific?” Steve encouraged him to speak more.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair; it was all tangled up. “Last Sunday at the barbeque, when me and Y/N went to the kitchen, we had a fight. I…” Bucky let out a breath, “I said a very stupid thing.” He paused for a second; Steve didn’t take his eyes off him. “I guess I got jealous, I don’t even know at this point. I asked her if she fucked him.” He was embarrassed.
“Jesus, Buck.” Steve muttered. “You promised you’d move on.”
“I tried, ok?” Bucky jolted up from the couch. “But I can’t.”
Steve rubbed his temples. “You know, Sam and Y/N broke up.”
Bucky’s head whipped faster than lightning. “What? When?”
“That same night.” Steve said. “Wanda is with Y/N now.”
“How’s Y/N?” Bucky asked urgently.
“A bit heartbroken which is to be expected.”
“I need to see her. Tell her I’m sorry. Try to fix it.” Bucky said urgently walking to the door.
Before he could take another step, there was knocking on the door.
Bucky answered automatically.
He was met with Sam’s angry stare and before he could say anything, a fist collided with his right eye. Bucky stumbled backwards but caught himself. Steve jumped between them.
“Hey, hey, Sam, easy.” Steve put his hands on Sam’s chest to try and keep the distance between Sam and Bucky.
“No, Steve. This guy right there is a fuck boy who thinks it’s funny to mess around with other people.” Sam raised his voice. Bucky was just staring at him wildly, not fully realizing what was going on. “HE’S THE REASON I BROKE UP WITH Y/N!” He yelled. “What’s going on, Buck? We’re not that tough, now, are we?” Sam smirked sarcastically.
“Sam.” Steve warned.
“Let me Steve. He’s not a man. He’s a boy. A little boy!” Sam shouted.
Bucky gritted his teeth and in a flash he was on Sam, punching him.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” Wanda yelled as she came in running with you following behind.
Steve tore Bucky away from Sam. Bucky was breathing heavily as Sam kept glaring at him.
“Sam, what are you doing here?” You demanded, shaken up from what you saw unfolding.
“This is the man you left me for?” Sam angrily pointed to Bucky.
“It’s not about James, Sam.” You tried to say calmly.
“I can’t believe you, Y/N.” Sam shook his head. “I’m out.” And he left.
Bucky lifted his eyes to where you were standing. You just stood there numb.
“Let me clean this up.” Steve said to Bucky.
Bucky shook him off as he walked towards you. “Y/N…” He said carefully.
You turned to look at him and he saw you had been crying. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around your body as he felt you shake.
“Let them have a moment.” Wanda whispered to Steve as they left the apartment.
Bucky held you for what seemed like hours.
“I’m sorry.” You pulled away and wiped a couple of strand tears that made their way down your cheeks.
“Doll, you don’t have to-“
“Are you hurt?” You asked softly looking at his right eye where a bruise was now forming.
Bucky chuckled softly. “It’s nothing.”
You walked towards his refrigerator and pulled a package of frozen peas. “How come you don’t have ice, but you have frozen peas, James?” You commented.
Bucky chuckled. “You know, doll, I only have the necessities.”
You smiled sadly but then you sighed as you handed him the bag. He placed it on the bruise flinching from the contact of the cold plastic.
“I’m sorry about what I said the other day at the barbeque.” Bucky broke the silence that had enveloped you.
He watched you as you sat there; so small. He wanted to wrap his arms around you; protect you from anything and anyone.
“I’m sorry about Sam.” You nodded towards the bruise.
Another long silence engulfed you.
“Can we go back to where we were?” Bucky asked you slowly.
You stared at him as Bucky waited anxiously for your response. Could even go back at this point? He’s let you down so many times.
He watched as you took a few steps and you were now in front of him. You extended one arm and smiled at him. “Y/N. Nice to meet you.”
Bucky looked at you confused but then smiled and shook your hand. “James.” He said. “But you can call me Bucky.” He smirked.
“Nice to meet you, James.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Y/N.”
Who said he had to move on when he could go backwards?
And backwards he went.
“James, did you lose your keys again?” You asked as you opened the door to find Bucky standing there, looking guilty.
“Sorry, doll. I swear I had them in my pocket.”
You rolled your eyes. “You can take the couch and make sure I find fresh coffee in the morning.”
“Done deal, doll.”
You occasionally argued about things, but your arguments were not as intense. You actually started to find a middle ground.
The more you Bucky was around, the harder it was for him to move on. He would make excuses just to be around you.
“This is the third time in a week that you ask me for sugar, James.” You picked the jar of sugar and placed on the counter for Bucky.
“I like my coffee sweet.” He just replied. “Just like my girls.” Bucky smirked.
You rolled your eyes. “Aren’t you over these terrible pick-up lines yet?”
“You know you love them.”
You just shook your head playfully.
Steve and Wanda had also noticed the change in your and Bucky’s behavior.
“Kind of refreshing seeing those two arguing again.” Wanda commented to Steve.
You and Bucky were now arguing about who was going to do the dishes. Bucky had the idea of hosting a nice dinner, but you kept arguing in whose house the barbeque should be held. You finally settled to be in yours, but then he had to help you with the chores. Now, he refused to do the dishes.
“James, I’m not going to be doing everything by myself around here!”
“I’m helping, look,” he pointed at the meat, “I’m grilling this!”
“You’re burning it, James!” You pointed at the steak that was turning black.
“Because you keep distracting me!” Bucky argued.
“There’s no hope for them, is it?” Steve said as he placed an arm around Wanda’s shoulder.
Wanda furrowed her brows watching you and Bucky arguing over the grill. “Not really.”
“It’s burnt!” You stated.
“It’s perfectly cooked!” Bucky argued.
“What about pizza?” Steve cocked an eyebrow looking down at Wanda.
“Yeah,” Wanda nodded, “that’d be a good idea.”
No barbeques were held again.
“SURPRISE!” The redhead in front of him cheered.
“Nat?” Bucky said. “What are you doing here?”
Natasha snorted. “Not the welcoming I had in mind.” She commented as she stepped into the apartment.
Bucky followed her into the living room where she plopped down on the couch; her feet found their way onto the coffee table.
“I came a week earlier.” She ran a hand through her red hair.
“Don’t tell me you came straight from the airport.” Bucky poured himself and Natasha a cup of coffee.
Bucky handed her the cup which she gladly took. “As a matter of fact I did.”
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows as he took a seat opposite her on the sofa. “And where are your things?”
Natasha huffed. “They lost my luggage in the airport, and not only that, I had my credit card in that suitcase!”
“So, what are you going to do now?”
Natasha sighed. “I called the bank and they told me they’d cancel my card, but I need to go there in order to arrange a few things. But since today’s Saturday, they’re already closed. So, I have no money for the weekend.” She explained.
Bucky shook his head. “These things can only happen to you, Nat.”
Natasha shrugged. “Eh, what can I do?”
“You can crush here for the weekend.” Bucky said.
“I knew I could count on you, Buck.” Natasha smirked at him. “Now,” she said abandoning the cup of coffee, “bring the vodka. I want you to tell me everything that I missed.” She announced excitedly. “I want all the details about this Y/N girl.” Natasha winked.
“Natasha…” Bucky groaned.
“Come on, James, you know I’m not going to intervene into this mess you call your ‘love life’. I just want to know who my friend is head over heels with.
Natasha was the only one from his friends and family who ever called him ‘James’. Bucky despised it, but she let Natasha use it, because it was Natasha. He couldn’t be mad at her.
“I… how? I never said-“
Natasha laughed. “James, I know you long enough to read you like an open book. You can’t hide from me.”
Natasha was rummaging through Bucky’s drink stash. When she spotted the vodka bottle she cheered. “There it is!” She held the bottle in the air. “From Russia with love.” She said; her accent thick from being away in Russia for almost a year.
Natasha was a dear friend to Bucky. They had met in high school and bonded together over their hatred for school. “Bonding over things you love is strong, but bonding over things you hate is stronger.” Natasha had said.
All this time she was away, they tried to keep in touch through messages and video chats, although these were rare because of the different time zones they were in.
Seeing her again after almost a year almost made him feel nostalgic. After all these weeks feeling like shit, her presence felt comforting. He needed the distraction Natasha could offer and he needed it more than anything now. Drinking didn’t do much for him anymore. It was just useless.
Natasha poured them both a shot of vodka. She handed one to Bucky.
“A toast.” She said and raised her glass. “To Y/N.” Natasha proposed.
Bucky shook his head. “To Y/N.” He raised his glass as well.
“за любовь.” Natasha downed the drink. (= to love)
Bucky did the same; the liquid burning his throat.
“за любовь.” He whispered. (= to love)
Natasha had just woken up. She stretched her body, trying to get some blood flowing in her limbs.
Bucky had let her take one of his shirts to change into for her night attire. All night they kept drinking as Bucky poured out his heart of what had happened all these months that she’d been away.
Natasha listened carefully, seeing how painful the last few months had been for her friend. She tried to lift his spirits up by narrating to him everything what happened in Russia. Although it did work and Bucky laughed and smiled, she could tell it wasn’t as genuine. She could still sense the pain and distress from the way his smile didn’t reach his eyes.
After Bucky confessed every detail of the past few months, he made Natasha promise she wouldn’t do anything. He knew that Natasha didn’t know how to let things be. He was sure she’d try to play one of her tricks.
“I promise, James.” Natasha said.
“Natasha.” Bucky warned her.
“I said I promise!” Bucky just glared at her but nodded. He failed to see the way her fingers crossed behind her back.
Natasha yawned as she got up from the couch; her hair all tangled up. She was ready to make her way to the kitchen to make some coffee – her head pounding from all the drinking last night – when she heard a knock on the door.
She walked over to the door and opened it.
The smile that you had fell from your face as you stared at Natasha. The shirt she stole from Bucky had ridden up to her upper thigh.
You were holding a mug of coffee as you kept staring at her.
“Good morning.” Natasha greeted you.
You shook yourself a little. “Good morning.” You said. “Is James here?” You asked trying to take a look inside the apartment behind Natasha.
“Yeah, he’s sleeping.” Natasha answered casually. “Do you want him anything?”
“No, just-“ you started, “I made coffee and I thought maybe…”
“Is that it?” Natasha pointed to the mug, a lazy smile on her face.
“Um, yeah.” You replied unsure.
“You don’t mind if I have it, do you?”
“No.” You answered and handed her the mug.
Natasha took a sip and almost moaned at the taste. “Exactly how I like it.” Natasha stepped on the side. “You want to come inside?”
You shook your head, “I can’t. I have something else to do.” You said quickly.
Natasha tried her best not to smirk at your behavior. She could sense how uncomfortable you felt. She also didn’t miss the long, hard stare you’d given her as soon as she opened the door.
“Ok.” Nat took another sip. “Thanks for the coffee, Y/N.” She pointed to the mug and closed the door, not missing the confused look you gave her.
Natasha chuckled to herself as she walked back to the living room.
“Were you talking to someone?” Bucky came out of the bedroom, running a hand through his hair. Natasha was sitting on the couch, sipping her coffee, trying her best to hide her smirk behind the mug. Bucky walked to the kitchen. “Why didn’t you make me some coffee too?” He whined as he approached where Natasha was sitting.
“Oh, I didn’t make coffee.” Natasha said casually.
“And what are you drinking?”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “And where did you find it?” He plopped onto the couch.
“That’s what neighbors are for.”
Bucky glared her. “What do you mean, Natasha?”
“Y/N gave me the coffee.”
Bucky ran his hand on his face. “Natasha, you promised!”
“Relax, Buck. I didn’t do anything. She just knocked on the door with a cup of coffee in her hand. She said it was for you but since I told her you were asleep, she was kind enough to hand it to me. No big deal.” Natasha explained.
“Y/N was here. And she saw you like this. In my apartment. And you told her I’m asleep.” Bucky said slowly, punctuating every phrase.
Natasha nodded. “Yeah,” she cocked an eyebrow, “she was nice but I don’t think she liked me very much. She mustn’t have appreciated the choice of my attire.”
Bucky threw his head back on the couch.
“I thought you said she doesn’t like you in that way? So what’s the problem?” Natasha asked innocently.
“She doesn’t. It’s just that… I don’t know. There’re been many misunderstandings between us and I don’t want to lose the privilege of even talking to her. Or arguing.”
Natasha stood from the couch; the mug in her hand now half-empty. “Aw Buck, you’re so naïve, aren’t you?”
Bucky frowned. “Why?”
“Y/N is in love with you.”
You were frantically running around the house, trying to get all your things gathered for work. You were going to be late again.
It was Monday morning. Your alarm didn’t go off, and you thanked your lucky stars that you at least woke up early on your own. However, you still had to rush if you didn’t want to be late.
You shoved another file in your briefcase when the doorbell rang.
“Who is it so early?” You muttered to yourself as you went to answer the door.
The girl you’d met yesterday at Bucky’s apartment was standing there; a small smile on her face.
“Good morning.” She greeted you.
“Good morning.” You replied confused.
“Can I come in?” Before you could reply she side-stepped you and walked into the living room.
“Um, not to be rude, I was getting ready to go to work.” You followed behind.
“Oh, I won’t be long.” She reassured you, waving her hand.
You hadn’t seen Bucky after yesterday’s morning run-in with the red head and you were kind of glad for that. When you saw her standing there, wearing just Bucky’s T-shirt, the one he had given you back in your old apartment to sleep in, you felt a pang of jealousy.
However you couldn’t be mad at him or her. You chose to move on from Bucky; chose not to let him know how you felt, so you couldn’t be mad that he was living his life.
You nodded. “Ok.”
“I’m Natasha.” She extended her hand and you shook it. “I’m James’ friend.”
“Y/N. I know.” Natasha cut you off. “I know more than you think.” She answered reading the confusion written on your face. “I was in Russia.” She started as she walked around the apartment. “I arrived on Saturday.” She stood in front of a painting you had on the wall. “Nice one.” She pointed as you stood there not knowing how to respond to her. “They lost my luggage at the airport. I had my credit card in tone of those suitcases. So, I came straight here to Bucky’s. He was kind enough to let me sleep over for the weekend since I had no money for a hotel.” She kept looking around your apartment, grabbing things, inspecting and putting them back into place. “Today I will finally have access to my bank account, so I can book a hotel before going to see my family here.” You still didn’t know what to say. Why was she telling you this?
“I’m sorry for losing your luggage,” you said slowly, “but why are you telling me all this?”
Natasha turned to look at you. “I thought you’d like to know why I was in Bucky’s apartment, wearing his T-shirt.”
You cleared your throat. “Why would I like to know what James does? That’s his business.”
Natasha raised her eyebrows suspiciously. “I must have been mistaken then.”
“What?” You furrowed your brows.
Natasha shrugged. “I thought you two had a different relationship.” She explained. “More intimate.”
You gulped. “We’re just friends.” You said quickly. “Neighbors.”
“Oh, right…” Natasha trailed. She had her hands behind her back.
“Now, if you excuse me…” You tried to let her know that you wanted to leave.
“Yeah, right.” Natasha said walking towards the door. Before she left though, she looked at you one last time. “I see why James likes you so much.”
Your heart was beating fast throughout the entire conversation with Natasha, but it almost stopped at her last remark.
You tried to look away from her. “For yelling too much at him?”
Natasha chuckled. “That too.”
There was a question keep rolling around your mind. Your palms were getting sweaty and you felt your blood pumping in your veins.
Natasha was one step away from walking out, when you blurted it out. “How do you know James likes me?”
Natasha stopped dead in her tracks before turning around to look at you.
She gave you her best smirk. Her green eyes sparkling.
“She lets you call him ‘James’.”
And then she was out the door, leaving you standing in the middle of your apartment.
What the hell was that?
After a few seconds you felt your breathing come back to normal.
“Oh shit.” You muttered checking the clock hanging on the wall. “I’m going to be late.”
Natasha’s words were ringing in your ears throughout the rest of the day.
“Forget it, Wanda.” You said adamantly as you took another bite of the food in front of you.
You, Bucky, Steve and Wanda were having lunch at your apartment. You were all sitting around the table eating and talking. Wanda was trying to convince you for the past twenty minutes to let her and Steve have the apartment for the weekend.
“Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s just for the weekend.” Wanda pleaded.
“It’s our anniversary, Y/N. Do it as a gift.” Steve added.
“Yes, Y/N. If Steve’s parents’ weren’t visiting we would be staying there.” Wanda explained.
You sighed. “And where am I going to stay?” You arched an eyebrow.
“To Bucky’s.” Steve replied.
Bucky had been silent throughout this conversation, eating his food. As soon as his name was brought up, he lifted his head.
You turned on your right, as he was sitting next to you, to look at him. “James may have other plans. He may want to bring company over.” You stared at him. He was staring back at you. “James?” You urged him to speak.
“It’s fine by me. Y/N can stay over at mine’s.” He replied quietly.
You elbowed him and he winced though he wasn’t hurt.
Bucky was hesitant when the idea was dropped on the table. He was already struggling around you most of the time, so knowing you were going to be sleeping in his own apartment, just a couple feet away from him, knowing that he couldn’t touch you, was torturous.
But he agreed anyway. First of all, for his friends. And then, because however torturous that might be, he longed to be around you. Just you and him.
“Great!” Wanda cheered. “That’s our last chance.” She added; her tone of voice different. You furrowed your eyebrows. “I mean, you are our last chance so me and Steve can celebrate our anniversary alone. Just the two of us.” She explained quickly.
“Hopefully, it’ll work.” Steve said. And Bucky looked at him confused. “You know, it’ll work as a way to rekindle our relationship, now that we’d be alone.”
You and Bucky nodded, unsure.
Wanda raised her glass. “Let’s make a toast.” She said. “To Y/N and Buck.”
You chuckled as you raised your glasses.
“To Y/N and Buck who are the best friends anyone could ask for.” Steve added.
You looked over at Bucky who was looking as confused as you.
You both shrugged as you took a sip of your drinks.
“Ok, I think I have everything.” You said as you grabbed the small bag.
You were in your living room, checking if you had anything you need since you’d be staying over at Bucky’s for the weekend.
“It’s only for two days, Y/N. You’re just going next door.” Steve chuckled.
You cocked an eyebrow. “So you’d want me to come unexpectedly?”
Steve and Wanda shared a look while Bucky smirked. His arms were crossed over his chest as he waited for you to collect your things and move in his apartment for the weekend.
“You wouldn’t do that now, would you, Y/N?” Wanda came next to you; she rubbed your back.
“Why’s that?” You challenged smirking. “It’s my apartment after all.”
“I mean,” Steve said, “you could come. I don’t have a problem. I think you would though.” He emphasized the word ‘you’ as he threw you a wink.
You cheeks started to heat up as the smile fell from your lips. “I’m ready.”
Bucky took the bag as he chuckled.
“Have fun, guys!” Bucky called as you both walked out of the apartment.
“We hope the same thing for you, too.” Wanda muttered.
“Do you think it’s going to work?” Steve looked at Wanda.
“Hopefully.” Wanda sighed. “It’s worth a try.” She shrugged.
Steve reached for her and wrapped his arms around her waist as Wanda’s arms found their way around his neck. They were both smiling. “In the meantime, we can have our own fun, here.” Steve breathed
Wanda hummed. “It’s our anniversary after all.”
They both giggled.
It was going to be a hell of a weekend.
“Welcome home, doll.” Bucky said as he unlocked the door and you both walked in.
He placed your bag next to the couch as you walked into the living room. You looked around a little. You expected it to be messier. You pretty much expected every piece of clothing to be thrown around in the living room, dishes and bottles all over the coffee table and piles of unwashed dishes clouting the sink.
You found none of these. Everything was perfectly in place. You could even tell that the carpet was vacuumed and the coffee table was spotless. No trash around the living room and you swore there was a smell of flowers in the air.
Bucky stood next to you as you were looking around, your nose scrunched up in confusion.
“Anything wrong?” He asked you playfully. Bucky could tell you were trying to figure out why his apartment didn’t look like a sty.
“No…” you said casually, “just,” you hesitated again, “why is your apartment so tidy?
Bucky laughed. He really laughed. You looked at him as he tried to catch his breath and you couldn’t help but giggle as well. The sound of his laugh was like a song to your ears. The way he threw his head back, clutching his stomach, made him look so cute; so carefree; like a little boy.
He finally sobered up. “Are you surprised, impressed, both?”
“I’d say both.” You responded as you took a seat on the couch.
“Glad I’ve finally managed to impress you, doll.”
“So,” Bucky took a seat as well, “what do you want to do?”
“Do you want to go out?” You asked as you checked the time on your phone. It was 8pm.
“We could stay in.” Bucky suggested. “I can order pizza. I have beers too.”
And this is how it all begun.
The movie was playing in the background, long forgotten as you and Bucky kept laughing.
Beer bottles were scattered around the room and the box of pizza was abandoned on the coffee table with leftover crusts now inside.
You didn’t even remembered what you were laughing about, but you felt relaxed. It’s been a long time since you felt this relaxed, and especially around Bucky. With all these feelings that you’ve been having for him, it was nearly impossible to be around him for a long time, without having your stupid heart beating faster.
Bucky took another sip of his beer as the laughter died down.
You remained in silence for a few seconds. Your head was resting on the arm of the couch as Bucky was sprawled on the sofa, feet propped up on the coffee table.
“Did you miss this?” Bucky asked breaking the silence.
“What?” You looked at him.
“This.” He pointed. “Us being together, laughing. Just being civil.”
You chuckled. “It was a rare instance wasn’t it? Us two hanging out like normal people. Not wanting to cut each other’s throat.” Bucky was looking at you. He was looking straight into your eyes. “Yes. I missed this.” You replied truthfully.
“It’s wasn’t that bad after all?” He asked. “Living together, I mean.”
“No, it wasn’t.” You smiled softly. “Although sometimes you were insufferable, you had your good moments too.”
“Yeah. You were a bit of a bitch sometimes, but in general you were alright.” Bucky teased you.
You acted offended and threw a cushion at him. “You were an asshole, as well, James.”
Bucky shook his head tossing the cushion back at you. “It was your fault.”
“How was it my fault?!” You argued but you still had a smile playing on your lips.
“Are we going to argue again?” Bucky smirked.
“That’s what we’re best at.” You winked at him.
You felt kind of tired; the alcohol making your eyelids droop. You yawned as you lay back on the couch. “Sleepy already, doll?” Bucky arched an eyebrow and you nodded.
Bucky stood up from the couch, picking a couple of beer bottles and throwing them in the trash. When he came back, you had already drifted off.
Bucky carefully picked you up walking into his bedroom; he carefully placed you on his bed. You were wearing your own nightwear which made him stare at you for a little longer. The way your pajama shorts had ridden up or how the strap of your top had fallen off your right shoulder, made Bucky’s mind fog. He wrapped you in the blanket and exited the room, sighing.
He picked up the rest of the trash and after he was done, he laid on the couch; his arm behind his head as he was staring at the ceiling.
His mind slipping back into the thoughts he had been having pretty much every single night for the past months. Whenever he was going into this trance, he couldn’t make sense of anything or anyone around him. It was like he was in his own world.
Bucky thought about the way you laughed, the sound of your giggles – it was like angels singing to him; the way you scrunched up your nose in confusion. He thought how beautiful you looked just wearing your nightwear; your hair messy from laying on the couch. He thought how peaceful you looked while sleeping as he was holding you into his arms, your chest moving up and down with each breathe you took.
He loved every single thing about you. All these months, he picked up every single thing about you and made it special; made it into something that was beautiful and holy for him.
Bucky sighed coming back to reality.
Why did his thoughts have to be so loud at night?
He tossed and turned for a couple of minutes. The smell of your perfume was imprinted into the cushion you were resting your head before. He took a deep breath, letting the smell engulf him.
Bucky slowly started slipping into a deep slumber.
One he hadn’t had for a while.
You opened your eyes slowly, stretching.
You looked around the room confused. Last thing you remembered before dosing off was laying on the couch in the living room. You tossed the blanket away from your body and stood up from the bed.
Bucky must have carried you to his room while you were asleep.
You took a look around his room. You’ve never been in his room before.
The walls were bare and the only furniture he had apart from his bed, was a wardrobe and a nightstand.
You walked towards the nightstand where Bucky had also moved your bag to.
You grabbed your toothbrush and other toiletries and stepped out of the room.
Suddenly, you halted.
If you slept in Bucky’s room, where did Bucky sleep?
You made your way to the living room to find Bucky passed out on the couch. A small smile crept up in your face. Soft snores were making their way out of his mouth. Somehow the image of him sprawled on the couch, his hair messy and his snores, reminded you all those nights back at your old apartment.
You tiptoed your way to the bathroom. You found it a good opportunity to take your time to shower, now that Bucky was still asleep.
You turned on the shower, letting the water warm up as you stepped out of your nightwear. Only when you were fully emerged under the warm water, you realized that you forgot to take underwear and fresh clothes with you.
“Shit.” You whispered. At least he’s still asleep, you thought.
After you were done with your shower, you brushed your teeth.
You wrapped a towel around your body; your hair still dripping. You slowly opened the door, hoping Bucky wasn’t up yet.
You were quietly making your way out when you heard Bucky’s voice, making you stop dead in your tracks.
“I made coffee-“his words died in his mouth when he saw you wrapped in the towel, hair still dripping.
Your cheeks flushed. “Thanks.” you mumbled and you quickly made your way back to Bucky’s bedroom.
Bucky was still standing there; a mug of coffee in his hands.
This was not the kind of scene that he expected to see first thing in the morning. Just the image of you naked with only a towel wrapped around your body; cheeks flushed and hair wet. Nope. He definitely hasn’t seen a similar image of you. At least awake. His skin started feeling hot, as he tried to ignore the warm feeling in his gut.
Bucky knew that you’d probably feel embarrassed by what happened, so he decided not to mention anything when you entered the kitchen where he was standing with his coffee.
You were now fully dressed. You hair was still wet but not dripping. He noticed that your cheeks were still flushed, and that you tried to smile at him, but notice you still felt awkward.
Bucky cleared his throat and hoped his thoughts would also clear as well. “I made coffee.” He poured the black liquid in a mug and handed it to you.
“Thank you.” You said quietly.
You were tracing the brim of the mug as Bucky tried to shift his focus away from you. He had thoughts; so many thoughts. He was internally screaming.
“So, what would you like to do today?” You asked turning to look at him.
Bucky shrugged. “There’s a new exhibition at the museum down the street. I saw it when I was passing by with the car the other day. On Sundays they have half price!” He gave you a smirk.
You smiled at him. “Since when are you going to museums?”
Bucky shrugged. “I remember how much you liked that exhibition on Ancient Rome, and I thought you’d like this one.”
The words slipped out of his mouth; He remembered that time you talked to him about this ‘extraordinary’ exhibition on Ancient Rome the museum was displaying. It was a rare occasion that you talking about something so passionately with Bucky of all people. That day he felt… special.
“How do you remember?” You asked shyly.
“I do.” He shrugged, trying to act casual. It didn’t work. “So, do you want us to go?”
“Sure.” You replied.
You took the last sip of coffee and you walked towards the sink to rinse the mug, when Bucky tried to do the same thing and you two collided. You were trapped between the sink and Bucky’s body.
Bucky could feel your rapid breathing fanning his face and you could feel his heart racing.
He wanted to move away, let you through, but his limbs seemed to weigh tons so he just stood there.
You were looking into each other’s eyes. No one dared to say anything or make a move.
Time felt different as your surroundings were slipping away. The only thing you focused on was each other’s eyes; his vibrant blues staring into your y/e/c ones.
Everything was foggy into Bucky’s mind.
And then, it happened.
He leaned in and kissed you.
“Do you think they are alright?” Wanda asked as she pulled one of Steve’s T-shirts down her body.
“We haven’t heard any argument so far, so I’d assume so.” Steve said; his back was propped on the chest of the bed.
Wanda sighed and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Was it a good idea to have Y/N and Bucky in the same apartment?”
Steve pondered the question. “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“I don’t know.” Wanda whispered.
“I’ll guess we’ll wait and see.” Steve sighed.
Your lips moved in perfect sync with Bucky’s. Bucky felt your hands on his neck, as you played lazily with the strands at the nape of his neck.
He moaned as you pulled his hair a little. His hands were wrapped around your torso, running up and down the length of your sides. He pushed into you more; your bodies were so close he thought yours was an extension of his.
A million things were running through his head, but as soon as felt you, kissed you, touched you, everything vanished. For a moment, he forgot about everything. It was only you.
At first Bucky had expected that you’d push him away, but you actually responded to the kiss with the same passion, the same longing he had for you. He felt like this was just one of his dreams where he had you in his arms and that you’d vanish as soon as he opened his eyes.
But you hadn’t vanished. You were there, kissing him, touching him, desperately.
When you started to pull away, desperate for air, Bucky immediately felt empty. He wanted to hold you forever. It was a new-found feeling for him and although it was scary, he also couldn’t get enough of it. He couldn’t get enough of you. It was like a drug.
Bucky gazed into your eyes. You were still dazed about what had happened. Your lips were bright red and your cheeks flushed. Bucky wished he could imprint the image of you right there and treasure it for the rest of his life.
You were both breathless; both physically and metaphorically.
Suddenly, Bucky saw the horror flashing through your eyes.
Before he could say anything else, you pushed him away and took several steps away from him.
His heart shuttered. How could he be so naïve?
“Y/N…” Bucky took a few steps towards you, but you held your hand in front of him.
“Don’t, James.” You said sternly, but he could hear how your voice almost broke in the end. “This shouldn’t have happened.”
Bucky’s eyes fell, you had regretted it. “Why?” He said breathless.
“Because…” you started as you sighed pacing the room back and forth. “Because I…”
“BECAUSE WHAT, Y/N?!” Bucky snapped, impatient and hurt from your behavior.
You just stared at him, startled. “Because, I…” your eyes were getting red at the brim.
“BECAUSE WHAT?! BECAUSE I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH? BECAUSE I’M NOT DESERVING OF YOU?! BECAUSE YOU HATE ME?!” Bucky was losing it. He was blurting out the words faster than his mind could think them. You just kept looking at him; your vision was getting blurry.
Bucky just shook his head and walked to the living room. “I can’t believe you.” He muttered.
He was about to grab his jacket and leave the apartment, when your next words stopped him dead in his tracks.
“Because I love you.” You whispered. It was so faint that Bucky almost didn’t catch it.
He turned to look at you. “What?”
You let out a breath as tears started streaming down your face. “BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU, OK?” You raised your voice. “And I don’t want to let myself down once again.”
Bucky took a couple of seconds to let everything sink in. You just said that you loved him. You said the three words he wanted to hear. ‘I. LOVE. YOU.’
“So, can we just pretend that this didn’t happen?” You pleaded; Bucky could see the hurt in your eyes. “I don’t want to be another one-stand of yours. I couldn’t take it.” You wiped a few more tears. “Can we just go back to where we were?” Your voice broke in the end. “Please?”
Bucky took a few steps closer. “No.” He said and you looked at him, heartbroken. “No, Y/N. We can never go back to how we were.”
You nodded sadly, “I understand.”
“No, you don’t.” You looked at him confused. “You have no fucking idea how many times I dreamt of this. You finally saying the three words that I’ve been longing to hear.” He touched your face, looking into your eyes. “I love you too, Y/N. God, knows how long I’ve loved you for.” He chuckled. “All these fucking months, punishing myself, going down this deep fucking hole of drinking, partying, sleeping around, just to fight it. Just to fight the way I’ve been feeling about you. When you walked out of the apartment that day, you have no idea how much I wanted to run after you and scream how insanely in love I am with you.” His thumb wiped another stranded tear that was running down your cheek.”But I couldn’t. I chickened out because I thought you’d never feel the same about a guy like me.” He admitted. “So I let you leave. I’ve let you slip out of my fingers. All summer I wallowed in pity. I was a fucking mess. Steve was kicking my ass almost on the daily.” You chuckled at that and he smiled. “And then, I found you again. You were standing in front of my door, looking as beautiful as ever. And I went into this deep hole again.” You leaned into his touch. “I was an asshole and I hurt you and then you didn’t talk to me again and I wanted to die. I would argue with you just to hear your voice; I would find excuses just to come to your apartment and see you. I’d rather you scream at me than not talking to me at all.” He cupped your face with both his hands. “Y/N, I love you.”
You were looking at him as more tears appeared but you didn’t respond. You saw the desperation in his eyes. Then, you just kissed him.
You kissed him and Bucky saw fireworks and stars and everything angelic in this world. He couldn’t believe his wish came true. He remembered making that wish.
It was on your birthday.
“Don’t forget to make a wish!” Steve had reminded you.
Bucky saw you close your eyes and take a few seconds to make the wish before blowing out the candles. Bucky did the same. He closed his eyes tightly and made the wish.
He wished for you. He wished he would be able to hold you, kiss you, touch you; say how much he loves you.
Who would’ve thought that the wish he spontaneously made on your birthday would’ve finally come true.
“I love you too, Bucky.” You whispered.
You touched the chain on your neck that was hiding underneath your shirt. When you revealed it, Bucky smiled. “You have it.”
You nodded. “I’ve been wearing it since I’ve found it. I just hide it underneath my top. I didn’t wear it last night so you wouldn’t see it. But I never take it off.”
Bucky touched the necklace hanging from your neck.
You kept rolling the small, round, silver plaque in your fingers as you read the inscription on it. You smiled softly.
You had woken up from your sleep and made your way to the kitchen. Bucky was still sleeping as you saw his bedroom door still closed. You poured yourself a cup of coffee and yawned.
It had been almost two weeks since you last talked to Bucky. You still couldn’t wrap your head around the reason Bucky would do such a thing and ruin your relationship with Thor. He hadn’t made any effort in talking to you either, but it was probably for the best. You didn’t know how you’d react at his vacant excuses. The thing that hurt you the most was how casual he was while he told you it was just a prank; a drunken prank.
It had made your blood boil.
You were deep into your thoughts, into your own world. After you finished your coffee, you retreated back into your room.
You decided to make your bed, since you’d be working on your assignments later and you wanted your room to be tidied.
You grabbed the pillow to prop it better into the bed, when you noticed a small box.
You furrowed your eyebrows and picked it up.
When you opened it, you found a silver necklace; on the plaque it was engraved the word ‘GRINCH’.
You checked Bucky’s door to find it was still closed.
You held the necklace in your hands before wearing it. You smiled when you saw yourself in the mirror. It looked cute.
At first you thought that maybe Wanda was the one who must have given you the necklace and probably gave it to Bucky to place it in your room, but you changed your mind a couples days later, when you finally decided to unlock yourself from your room.
Wanda gave you a box with a pair of shoes that you had been going off about. “It’s for your birthday.” She had told you. “You once again forgot.” So, it wasn’t Wanda, you thought.
The mystery was actually solved a month after.
You had forgiven Bucky and everything was back to normal.
You were doing laundry. As you were rummaging the basket, you pulled out one of Bucky’s jeans to throw into the washing machine.
“Let me check first.” You said to yourself as you searched his pockets for anything Bucky might have forgotten.
That’s when you found a piece of paper.
You opened it by accident, and then you saw it.
It was a bill from a jewelry shop. You actually recognized the name of the shop as you were passing by every day when you went to school.
Was Bucky the one who’s gotten you the necklace? But why? Was it for your birthday? But how did he know when your birthday was? You’d never told him.
You couldn’t tell him though. Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe he shopped something else. Maybe it was just a coincidence.
The very next morning while you were walking to university, you saw the jewelry shop. You stopped in front of it, weighing whether to go in or not.
Before you could ponder it any longer, you entered the shop.
“Yes, that’s the one.” The man behind the desk told you. “I engraved it for a young man.” He smiled at you.
You thanked him and walked out.
So, it was really Bucky. But why hasn’t he told you anything?
The days were slipping by, but you didn’t dare ask him. You kept wearing the necklace, but only under your top so he wouldn’t see it.
Maybe he had his reason for not telling you anything.
And thus, you slowly started to forget, but you never took the necklace off.
“I thought you didn’t like it.” Bucky whispered shyly. “I got it for your birthday.”
“How did you know about my birthday?” You asked curiously.
“I had found your student ID while I was looking for my driver’s license.”
“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” You asked softly.
Bucky chuckled. “I never saw you wearing it, so I thought you were really mad at me that you’d probably got rid of it.”
You shook your head. “I love it.”
Bucky pecked your lips and you leaned further into his arms.
“So, what do you say? Do you still want to go to the museum?”
“Only if it’s a date.” You grinned at him.
“Deal.” He kissed you one more time.
“You know we actually need to check the date so we can mark as the date we actually reconciled.” You commented as you took a bite from your ice cream.
“Reconcile? I don’t really think that’s the word that I’d use for what we did.” Bucky smirked.
You rolled your eyes and checked the date on your phone.
“It’s the –“you stopped in your tracks.
You and Bucky were leaving the museum. He bought you ice cream from a corner shop down the street and you were now walking back home.
“What is it?” Bucky looked at you worried.
“Bucky,” you said, “do you know what the date is?”
Bucky checked his phone. “Yes, it’s…” he stopped as well as the realization set in. “The little shits.” He chuckled.
“They’ve set us up.” You stated. “It’s not their anniversary today.”
“Are we going to let this one slide?” Bucky arched an eyebrow.
“No freaking way.” You gave him a mischievous smile.
He hummed. “Oh… I like it when you get like that.”
You rolled your eyes. “James….”
“Let’s get back home and you can tell me what’s in your mind, while I let you know what I have in mine….”
You didn’t get to finish as he grabbed your hand and led you back into the apartment.
Bucky pushed you against the wall as soon as the door of the apartment was open.
He placed his hands under your thighs, whispering a “Jump” while his lips found their way to your neck.
It felt like you were drunk. Your arms were around his neck, as a soft moan left your lips.
Bucky groaned. “Babe, do this one more time and I’m done for.”
He led you to the bedroom slowly lowering you both onto the mattress. You looked at him with hooded eyes, his hair falling over his face as he was hovering over you.
You felt your skin hot. Your blood was pumping in your veins. A cloud of desire was taking over your mind.
Bucky didn’t move; he just looked you deep into your eyes. “Are you sure about this, Y/N?”
There was one thing in your mind. Bucky. And for that, you were sure. “Yes.” You breathed after a few seconds.
Bucky leaned in and gave you a sweet kiss on the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
That was the night you’d been dreaming about.
That was the night that Bucky kept playing in his mind countless nights.
“WANDA!” You banged on the door.
“STEVE!” Bucky shouted as well as they stood in front of your apartment’s door.
Bucky and you had come up with a plan to get back on Wanda and Steve. You talked about it the next day as Bucky brought you breakfast in bed.
“Good morning, doll.” Bucky pecked your lips as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes.
“Bucky, why are you up this early?” You chuckled as you took a glimpse of the electronic watch on the nightstand.
“I wanted to make us breakfast.” He pointed to the tray that he placed in the corner of the bed.
You shook your head smiling. “Never in a million years would I’ve thought that you’d be bringing me breakfast in bed.”
“I guess I’m full of surprises.” He winked at you as he handed you a mug of coffee and your favorite croissant.
“Where did you find that?” You asked taking a bite of the croissant. “It’s still warm.”
Bucky took a big gulp of coffee. “I went to the baker’s down in the corner. They’re fresh.”
“Have I told you how much I love you?”
“You can keep on telling me, I don’t mind, doll. I like the sound of it.” He smirked and you playfully slapped him on the arm.
You were enjoying your breakfast, when Bucky asked you about Wanda and Steve and what you had in mind.
That’s when you told him.
You winked at him.
And that’s why you were now banging on the door.
A couple of minutes later, Wanda answered the door. She must have just woken up as she stood there not fully understanding what was going on. Wanda was wearing what you assumed was one of Steve’s shirts.
You side-stepped her and entered the apartment with Bucky hot on your heels.
Wanda followed you confused.
“Wanda, who’s-“ Steve stopped as he saw you and Bucky furiously standing in the middle of the living room. Steve was just in his boxers trying to cover himself as much as he could when he saw you two.
“Y/N, what’s going on?” Wanda asked.
You had crossed your arms over your chest. “James. That’s what happened.”
Bucky rolled his eyes and scoffed. “It’s always me, isn’t it, Y/N?! As if you are perfect!” He snapped.
Steve and Wanda were looking at the both of you panicking.
“YOU’RE JUST INFURIATING, JAMES!” You threw your arms in the air exasperated.
“I WOULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU!” Bucky bit back.
Wanda just sighed while Steve rubbed his temples. “I guess it didn’t work, Steve.”
“I guess not.” Steve said disappointed.
“What didn’t work?” You asked curiously.
“Wanda and I thought that maybe if you two stayed alone for a couple of days, maybe you’d be able to try and get closer.” Steve explained.
“But we failed.” Wanda’s shoulders dropped in disappointment.
“So you’ve set us up.” Bucky pointed.
“We did it for you.” Steve walked over to Wanda wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She really wanted for you two to finally be together.
“It doesn’t matter, anymore. We’re back to where we were in the first place.” Wanda ran a hand through her tangled hair.
“Yeah, let’s all forget about it.” Steve tried to shift the mood.
Bucky walked towards you wrapping a hand around your waist. “I think that’s enough for now, doll. What do you think?”
You gave Bucky a smirk. “You’re probably right, Buck. They seem distressed enough and it’s only 8 in the morning.”
Steve and Wanda’s eyes widened in shock. “Did you-“ Wanda pointed between you and Bucky.
“Asshole.” Steve cursed, shaking his head.
Bucky placed a kiss on top of your head as you leaned further into him, grinning.
“So does this mean it worked?! OH MY GOD!!!” Wanda was jumping up and down. “IT WORKED!” She was pulling Steve’s arm.
“It did, babe.” Steve giggled. “I didn’t have high hopes, but you proved me wrong.”
Wanda pointed a finger at him. “You should’ve had more faith in me!”
Steve put his hands up in surrender. “I will from now on. You achieved the unachievable.”
“Ok, guys, as much as I love watching you celebrate your victory,” Bucky started, “Y/N has to go to work.”
Steve and Wanda cursed at the same time. “Fuck. It’s Monday!”
You nodded. “It is; so if you don’t mind.”
Steve and Wanda disappeared into your room to get changed.
“You need to go to work too, Bucky.” You smirked at him as he pulled you closer to his chest.
“I know.” He sighed. “Just one last kiss.”
“Just one.” You agreed and leaned in to kiss him.
“OH MY GOD! STEVE!” Wanda interrupted your moment as he pointed to where you and Bucky were kissing.
“We have fans.” Bucky whispered and you chuckled.
Bucky let you go.
“So,” Wanda started speaking as she tied her shoe laces. Steve was waiting for her, jacket in hand. Bucky was leaning at the back of the couch. He was going to be driving you to work. “are you guys going to be living together?”
You furrowed your eyebrows. You hadn’t thought about that.
“You guys can stay in one apartment, now. Actually we can have the other. Wanda and I kept thinking about moving out.” Steve added. “You just have to pick which one and we’ll take the other. I’m sure there won’t be a problem.”
You looked over at Bucky. He was looking back at you.
You saw how his eyes sparkle in mischief. He had the answer, but so did you.
“Mine’s!” You both said at the same time.
You glared at Bucky as he crossed his arms on his chest stubbornly.
“Oh no…” Wanda whispered in horror.
“There we go again…” Steve muttered.
Some things never change.
TAGGED: @vicmc624 @matchat3a @themorningsunshine @ackerfem @bwideau @rebloggingmyrecs @noorreads
Pairing: Detective!Bucky Barnes x Lawyer!Reader
Summary: You end up getting hurt while out in the field questioning a suspect. Thankfully, Detective Barnes is there to help.
Word Count: ~600
Warning(s): crime show level of violence / gun violence / mentions of a near-death experience / injuries + including mild description of injuries / blood / hurt+comfort
Prompt: patching up a wound + at a crime scene
a/n: This is a submission for @real-jane ‘s healing hands writing challenge! Congratulations on the milestone! 🥳 This drabble was inspired by the previous fic I wrote Conflict of Interest , this is placed around a year or so before the events of that fic happen. However, this is a stand-alone drabble, so you don’t need to read the mentioned fic to understand anything, but if you liked the dynamic here, I recommend reading it! 🥰 Thank you for reading! ❤️
“ Watch your step.” Detective Barnes had an arm wrapped around your waist, helping you maneuver through a crowd of officers. You were heading over to the back of an ambulance, a bit too shaken to walk on your own. As soon as you sat on the edge of it, his hands inspected the wound on your right shoulder. You held in any protests as the burning sensation worsened.
“ So much for my favorite coat.” You took it off, grumbling at the sight of the tear in it.
“ That’s what you’re worried about?” There was a smile of disbelief on his face.
The blouse you were wearing was expectedly torn as well. He sent you a sympathetic look when he cut through it to get to your wound. You couldn’t help the tiny gasp that escaped when you laid eyes on it. You finally realized why it felt like it was on fire. A bullet grazed your shoulder, removing a bit of the top layer of skin. The shades of red and pink across the wound assured you it would leave a scar.
“ I promise it looks worse than it actually is,” he held your arm up gently,” This might hurt a little, so hold onto me if you’d like,” his tone was so sincere it surprised you. You hadn’t known him for long, so you hesitated to accept the comfort you needed. Nevertheless, you appreciated the gesture.
He cleaned your wound meticulously, his eyes narrowing in concentration. You bit the inside of your cheek, stopping yourself from wincing. The sudden closeness had you fiddling with the loose threads of your coat that laid across your lap. Your eyes wandered over to his hands that were wrapping a bandage around your arm. This brought your attention to a cut on his index finger. You looked over at the medical kit beside you, searching for a bandaid.
Without thinking, you took a hold of his right hand and placed it on your lap, wiping the blood around his cut with a small gauze pad. You felt his gaze on you as you wrapped the bandaid around his finger.
“ You know I was the one patching you up, right?”
“ Is that your way of thanking me, detective?”
A soft chuckle escaped his lips,“ Thank you,” he paused, his smile fading,” I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have made you come. You got hurt because of me.” He couldn’t meet your eyes, putting the medical supplies back in their case. You placed your hand on his wrist, grabbing his attention.
“ You’re not putting this on yourself. The suspect said he would have legal representation present, so I chose to come. If it weren’t for you, I might not be here right now. So please don’t apologize for saving my life.” You recalled the way the suspect drew his gun to shoot you, a memory you knew would haunt you for a while. If it weren’t for Detective Barnes reacting quickly, pulling you towards him and out of the line of fire, the bullet would’ve done more than just graze you.
“ I know, but I should’ve checked for any weapons in the househ-” You cut him off with a stern look, reminding him of who he was trying to argue with. He let it go, realizing he was disputing with one of the best prosecutors in New York.
“ Although, maybe you could do me a little favor and let Prosecutor Romanoff know what happened here today,” you requested with a playful tone. He blew out a breath, shaking his head, an amused expression overtaking his features. “ No way. She’s your best friend, she’ll go easy on you when you tell her. She’ll kill me once you do.” You shared a laugh at that, the mood becoming lighter.
He finished patching up your wound, the pain diminishing slightly. He held out his hand, helping you off of the ambulance,“ Now, how about I go arrest the bastard so you can take him to court?” You smirked,“ I like the sound of that.”
₊˚ˑ༄ؘ𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: bucky x gn!reader
₊˚ˑ༄ؘ𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: just a joint mention, hurt/comfort, reader takes care of bucky as he uses the safe word, ptsd
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k+
₊˚ˑ༄ؘ𝐚/𝐧: nothin to report from me! enjoy! xoxo
it started off as heavy breaths filling the room, skin slapping on skin, rough touches and sweaty skin sticking to each other. the night spiraled into a heavy session after sharing a few joints, round after round. insatiable to each other and just needed each other close.
it was mind blowing, something that bucky in all his years of being alive had ever felt. he didn’t know his mind could expand to the depths it did in dom space when it came to you. you were a perfect little sub for him, always listening to what you were told, being over the top nasty that just made him hungry for more.
it took a long way to get to the relationship the two of you had now. trial and error on links the two of you had to go through, color system being used every single session, and red only being used once. it was a silent agreement between the two of you to not talk about it until you were both down from the headspace and you could form words.
you had never heard bucky use the color red in the way his voice trembled as he was over top of you. your nails retracted form his skin, unwrapping your legs from his waist as he pulled out and laid on his side. you immediately propped up on your elbow looking over him, your fingers dancing over his sweaty forehead to push his hair from his eyes that remained closed after the word tumbled from his lips.
“bucky..” the soft voice carried to his ears and brought him back. he couldn’t feel ashamed for saying the color because you knew you wouldn't scold him for it, it was a safe place in which he was allowed to feel exactly how he wanted to. and he wasn’t used to it.
you allowed him to breath at a normal pace, your fingers carding through his hair at a slow pace as he caught his breath, his arms never leaving your waist as his nose pressed against the side of your upper arm. you watched his chest rise and fall with each passing minute, giving him the time and space he needed.
“baby..” his lips moved against your skin in a whisper, a soft frown etched to your lips. you hated the way he sounded right now, knowing if you didn’t do something to help him out it would only go in a downward spiral
“you’re okay, jamie. you’re safe.” the nickname made him sigh, knowing that there was only you and him in the bedroom, in this place you made safe.
he couldn’t begin to think where to start, how he felt himself start to slip away as the two of you were joined, how his hand around your throat started to grip just a bit tighter, and to anyone else it might’ve seemed like it was because the two of you enjoyed it.
but to him, it was someone else starting to take over.
he felt unsafe in his own mind, he felt like in the blink of an eye he would turn into him again, and he couldn’t have that while he was with you. he refused to let you be subjected to that.
“talk to me buck, what happened?” your voice was soft and gentle, allowing him to share what he was thinking, while giving him the time he needed. he appreciated it, appreciated you and how gentle you were, how much patience you had with him. he felt like he didn’t deserve you.
“it wasn’t me, i- it felt like he was coming back.” your breathing hitched in your throat as he mentioned him, and you knew what he was talking about. he could see it in his eyes that flip was slowly being switched, and you knew something was going to happen, but he called it before it could.
it made your heart break he still dealt with this, dealt with this other being that plagued his mind and made his trauma dig deep through his weary bones each day. he felt like he was being broken down into nothing the longer it went on, but the more you were there to reassure him, he felt like he was fighting back to be his old self again. at least, a newer version of his old self.
you reached over and grabbed a blanket, tossing it over his body and let him adjust to his comfort, not wanting to touch anywhere other than his face to make sure he was okay. your fingers rubbed the stubble on his chin, the rough texture against your soft fingertips allowing him to feel more grounded.
there was something healing about your touch, how it carried so much love and tenderness, like a mothers kiss against your wound when you fell outside tripping over a crack.
the love he felt for you was strong, almost as strong as the need to protect you from anything unsafe, including himself when he got like this. he grew embarrassed when this happened, wanting to resort to his old habits; pushing people away, secluding himself to a remote area just in case he turned into him again.
sometimes he didn’t trust himself, but others he trusted himself enough when you trusted him with everything in your life. your heart, your mind, your soul.
he knew wanting to protect everything about you was stronger than the feeling of isolation.
“let’s get you in the bath, yeah? can wash your hair, rub your back. how’s that sound?” he nodded his head against your shoulder. a single kiss to his temple before you slipped out from under the sheets, your nude from disappearing into the bathroom and he heard the running water. as you were gone, he laid on his back, the sheets slipping down to his waist, eyes glued to the ceiling. normally he didn’t feel this detached, and he hated how he depended on your touch to ground him. but you didn’t mind, as his sub, it was your job to help him come out of this headspace after using the color red.
you knew how he felt, where his headspace was when he called the color. you knew it was only a matter of time before he spiraled and it was your power to make sure that didn’t happen. you finished off the water and added some bubbles, lighting some lavender candles to help relax his stress, and went into the bedroom. seeing bucky lay there with his hands on his stomach as his eyes were closed, chest rising and falling at a steady pace. you had to admire him for who he was.
this was your favorite version of bucky; guard down, no worries in the world running through his mind even if he’s coming out of his dom headspace. seeing him here, in your shared bedroom with you and out of harms way made you happy. it was a sight that you were privileged to witness.
“jamie” you spoke softly, knowing you didn’t want to wake him, but wanting to get him in the tub as soon as possible. he sat up and opened his eyes, a soft smile on his lips. you outstretched your hand for him as you stood next to the bed, and his metal hand laid in yours as you got him out of bed.
“where’s your mind at, jamie?” you spoke as softly as you could as he sunk down into the warm bath water, looking over at you and beckoning you with his eyes to join you, he so desperately needed you with him. you nodded and joined with him, sitting in front of him and your legs wrapped around each other as he laid his cheek on your shoulder, mumbling softly.
“i was there, back in the cell. about to.. about to get my mind wiped..” his voice was low, gravely and broken, like he was about to cry. he didn’t, though. trying his best to not let his emotions get the best of him even though he knew he was safe with you. your hand came up from under the water and rubbed his back, bubbles trailing down his scarred skin.
raised edges from years of abuse on his body from being a machine, some healed, some still red and angry but nonetheless closed up.
he shivered as your fingers trailed through the scared skin where metal met flesh, deep wounds that was a reminder of the machine he once was, one that plagued his dreams almost every night.
“someone came in, i didn’t like them. or rather, he didn’t like them. grabbed them by the throat. squeezed, hard.” you felt his body begin to tremble, and you shushed him softly, wrapping your other arm around your middle as his hand rested on your hips under the water, finger tips digging into the flesh. you didn’t mind though, you just wanted him to ground himself, feel like himself.
you couldn’t imagine the horrors his mind out him through night after night, let alone through a session like this. he wanted to be in control, it had been a while since he trusted himself but he hadn’t had any nightmares and he thought he was better, thought he could prove to you he was better.
“no more choking, okay?” he chuckled softly as he looked up at you, his eyes red from the tears that slipped down your shoulder and into the bubbly water. your hands emerged from the water, holding his face rub his hands, thumbs rubbing his cheekbones as he leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut and a small sigh of relief leaving his lips.
“you, jamie, are safe now. no one’s ever gonna harm you. i promise.” he smiled at your words, feeling shameful it should be him promising you that. but you didn’t need the reassurance, because you knew that bucky meant every word he said when he promised through sickness and through heath. this was you showing him you meant through better or for worse.
“i love you.” you smiled, your hands going to his scalp and scratching softly, pulling away for a brief moment to get his hair wet, lathering soap into your hands and applying it back to his scalp, a moan of content leaving his lips.
he knew he was safe, he knew you could do no harm, he knew that you would protect him from himself.
you massaged his scalp until the shampoo got bubbly, grabbing the red cup on the side of the tub and rinsing it, his eyes never leaving your face as they traveled all over your features.
your plump lips he loved kissing first thing in the morning, your beautiful doe eyes you would look at him with when you wanted something. he could never say no to those eyes. your playful smile you put on when you were teasing him, and he always knew it was in good fun. how your nose dipped perfectly, showing how it was the most kissable nose in existence.
he adored you, adored every inch of you. you were his haven.
“you know,” you spoke gently, grabbing the conditioner and running it through the ends of his hair. “i think we were made from the same star. it took us eons to find each other, but once we did, everything clicked. i knew you were it for me jamie, when i saw you for the first time. i meant it when i said i’d be there for you through everything.” he blushed at your words as your eyes went to him, nothing but passion and true running through your soft gaze.
he had never been more in love.
The Colour of Rain (Bucky Barnes x Reader)
Summary: On the run from his violent past, Bucky has sought refuge in a small town in Mexico where he enjoys the peace and quiet of not understanding a word of Spanish. A peace that is violently disturbed when he runs into the most annoying woman he has ever met.
Warnings: None for this part
Note: A series in eight parts inspired by the enemies to lovers trope and my never-ending love for anything that is Mexico - the place where I rediscovered the beauty of life and where Bucky will too. Let me know if you want me to add you to the tag-list.
Previous Part | Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Suddenly, she's everywhere.
He sees her at his favourite place for an afternoon beer. She eats at his cochinita pibil place. Visits the local market on his preferred days. And every time he sees her, he turns on the spot and curses his inability to just ignore her. But fact is that no matter if he does run into her or not, everything about his day still revolves around her - it revolves around finding a route through the city that her presence has not yet corrupted, around hiding so she won't sneak up on him all of a sudden, around keeping an eye out for her at all times. And when he finally does run into her, it revolves around the small, unsatisfactory peek he got before he forced himself to turn away.
He hates that suddenly his every thought is her, that his actions constantly take her into account, that his entire day is about wanting to see her but wanting to avoid her as well. That whether she's there or not, all he can think about is her.
And her hips. Her waist. Her eyes. Her laugh.
Fuck, it's gone too far already!
He successfully steers clear of her for two weeks until one morning where he accidentally has his guard down. His mind is still heavy and clouded from his nightly terror so when he anxiously crosses the Zócalo, his brain is so deeply buried in his nightmare that he forgets to check the cafés lining the big square for her.
"James!" He hears her happy, velvety voice from a few feet away, and he hates how it instantly makes his heart skip a beat and then hammer wildly - but fuck! She not only remembers his name but she says it with such delight as if she's happy to see him. As if it's pure.
Too late, he realises that he can't ignore her now that he has accidentally slowed down his pace, and he apprehensively turns around and meets her colourful gaze.
"Hi!" She smiles and raises an arm above her head in greeting. The sun is illuminating her very being, shining down on her cheeks and catching on her jewellery, making her look like something out of a dream that's been sent to the middle of Mexico to counteract whatever dark thoughts he'd had just a few seconds before. She is in a blue dress today, short and bright, and even though he prefers the green one she wore to the market two days ago, she's still stunningly beautiful.
"Hey..." he mumbles back and tries not to look too annoyed about the inevitable encounter. This is not exactly the best way to start off the day. He wonders if he will ever stop thinking about her now that he knows she remembers his name.
"I was just about to order coffee," she uses her thumb to point to the waiter by her side who looks mildly annoyed with being held up by her. "- do you want one?" she shadows the sun with her hand and takes in the state he's in; the birds' nest on top of his head, his pale cheeks, the bags under his eyes. "- It sure looks like you could use it," she ends up smiling, urging him to come closer.
He knows he should say no. He should cut off contact immediately, go home and think of something else, but he already knows that he won't be able to do that, and she looks so happy to finally see him again that he can't help but getting drawn in, and eventually, he finds himself stepping closer to her, telling himself that he was probably gonna get coffee anyway. No harm done in humouring her for a bit. No matter how annoying he finds her.
"Americano," he mumbles and nods to the waiter in greeting.
She smiles triumphantly to herself, turns to the waiter to say something about a cappuccino in Spanish before her twinkling eyes are back on Bucky again. "Rough night?" She asks him with a smile. "It looks like you drank half of the mezcal in this place."
"Something like that," he lies and rubs his eyes, runs a hand through his hair and hopes that he doesn't look too beaten up by his demons afterwards.
"Hope you had fun," she laughs and settles in in her chair, turns her face towards the cloudless sky above them to soak up the sun. The golden thread in the blue fabric of her dress is glinting enticingly and his eyes involuntarily drop to the swell of her breasts before he can stop himself. "- I can't believe it took me weeks to find you again," she chips happily and squints her eyes as she tries to take him in against the sharp sunlight. "I've been holding out an eye for you ever since we met but you're a ghost it seems."
"Yeah," he nods and resists the urge to pick at his fingernails in embarrassment, "that is weird.”
"It is..." she lets her eyes linger on his face and he feels how everything grows hot under her scrutiny. "So what have you been up to?"
"Not much," he shrugs, irritated that he doesn't have a lie ready at hand. "Just walking around, I guess... I like walking..."
"Oh me too," she chuckles and dismissively waves a hand in front of her face. "We must've just been wandering different neighbourhoods then."
"Yeah, maybe," he nods and scoots to the side to make room for the waiter who sits down two cups of steaming hot coffee on the small stone table between them. "Gracias," he mumbles in crummy Spanish and carefully looks back at her.
She's already in the midst of taking a sip of her coffee, and she scrunches her nose when she drinks and closes her eyes with a dreamy smile. "They have great coffee here, don't you think?" she sighs happily and Bucky is quick to look away from her peaceful face when her eyelids flutter open again. "Much better than back home."
"Mmh," he nods while looking down at his cup, eager to agree with her even though he's not sure how the coffee back home tastes any longer. He just hopes she hasn’t caught him staring.
"Have you tried the original coffee they have here? Café de Olla, I think it's called." She asks with interest.
"No," he mumbles.
"It's supposed to be really good!"
"Okay," he too sips his coffee, fixates his gaze on a stain on the table to control his wandering eyeballs.
"Wow, you really don't say much!" she laughs and Bucky feels his chest swell when her soft laughter fills his lungs with air. "Am I annoying you?"
His gaze travel up to meet hers. She’s the fucking personification of colours. She’s warm and happy and way too bright. Of course she annoys him. "No...”
"Okay then. I'm happy to hear that," she chuckles. "- are you this way with every one here then?" She asks slowly, cautiously.
"I don't speak Spanish. So... yeah."
"You don't speak Spanish?!" She gasps before he's had a chance to finish his sentence.
"Well, how do you get by?" she laughs and scrunches up her nose again. He hates that it's the cutest thing he's ever seen. "I think you're the first person I've met who speaks English!"
"Gestures and stuff," he shrugs lightly and sees how his upper body's rigid movement has her eyes briefly graze over his left arm that is has otherwise been packed away under layers of protective clothing before her eyes snap back to his.
Immediately, he panics! Feels how his breathing speeds up, how the blood rushes past his ears. Has she seen something that gives away his identity?? He should have known better and stayed away! "- it's been going fine," he elaborates quickly and hopes it is enough for her to keep her gaze on his. He doesn't want her to see the micro-movements that are slightly different on his left side.
"Well how long have you been here?" she asks and has another sip of coffee, fixates her eyes on his.
"Eight months," Bucky nods, happy that her gaze stays away from his arms.
"You've been here eight months and you haven't picked up the language?" She teases with a crooked smile playing on her lips. "What rock have you been living under?"
"I don't know,” he mumbles with a shrug. “I like that I don't know the words."
She briefly stalls her movements, runs her eyes over his face to check for signs of amusement, but when she doesn't find any, she sits down her coffee cup with a clink against the white saucer. "Mmh" she furrows her eyebrows, sends him a look as if she's building some sort of theory in her head. "...What's your story?" she asks him with interest after a few seconds of intense eye contact. She doesn't look weirded out and the way she asks isn't nosey. It's more interested, caring. As if she truly wants to hear his side on the matter so she can understand him better.
Bucky can once again feel his cheeks burn under her scrutiny but this time for a completely different reason. "M-My story?" He gulps and has to bite his cheek to avoid stuttering even harder. "It's boring."
She twirls the spoon in the cappuccino in front of her without letting go of his gaze, "boring..." she repeats slowly. "You might not say much but you don't exactly strike me as boring."
"Well, what's your story then?" He asks just to turn the attention away from himself, "why are you here?"
"Like I said, I needed a break," she smiles and leans back in her chair so her face catches the sun again. He can’t tear his gaze away from her.
"A break from what?" the curious question slips past his lips before he realises how much he would've hated if it had been directed at him.
"Life," she grins and absentmindedly twirls her spoon. "I needed some colour, some perspective. There are so many interesting ways to look at life and I needed some inspiration to renew the way I do it."
"And have you been then?" He asks, curious to hear whether she's planning on staying to broaden her horizon even more or if she's gotten everything out of her trip already. It sure looks like the colour is back. "- Inspired, I mean..."
"Oh I was inspired the minute I stepped out of the plane!" she laughs and he can’t help but feeling a bit disappointed that she has already found what she was looking for. "I was only a couple of hours on a plane away from being reminded just how amazing life really is."
"You really think so?" He asks perplexed. The words shoot out of him with no chance of stopping them, and he wants to hit himself after they've spilled over his lips. Absolutely no need to show her his overly gloomy tendencies.
"Yeah, don't you agree?" She asks quietly and shoots him a warm look out the corner of her eye.
"I don't know," he gives out a heavy breath, "sometimes it's hard to see."
"I agree," she smiles knowingly as if she understands him. " - but come on, look at this place. The sun is out, the coffee is amazing and the company isn't half bad if I have to say so myself. Isn't it amazing that we're here to experience it?" She cocks her head to the side and grins when he doesn't really react at all. "Okay, let me lay it on you this way,” she laughs, “- think of all the little coincidences that has lead to you sitting right here in this chair. Everything you've been through; people you've met, opinions you've been subjected to, or even just what feels like the tiniest, smallest, insignificant detail has lead to you sitting right here right now, and even though I have lived a different life with different details and different people, the outcome is still the same; I'm here too. The only two English-speaking people in the village are doing something as mundane as having coffee in the sun together, and they're having a good time even though they at eye sight have nothing in common apart from their language. Suddenly their stories connect and their lives intertwine - maybe just for a brief moment in time. Or maybe this meeting is the endpoint for a part of us that we're ready to say goodbye to. It could be a stepping stone to something bigger, or maybe it's the insignificant detail that leads us onwards to the next chapter. Often it's the smallest things in life that pushes us; a good book - or just a small quote in it - a great cup of coffee that changes our perspective, a spontaneous trip to the airport," she laughs, "- and we don't even realise the impact it has on our lives until we look at the bigger picture down the road. That's kind of amazing, don't you think?"
Bucky stares at her as if in shock. She's sitting right across from him talking about the beauty of life and fate as if she isn't outshining it all.
"Yeah," he ends up nodding before he takes another sip of his coffee that suddenly tastes a little better. "- I guess it is..."
Tag-list: @elemenhoepe @summerofsnowflakes @theselilwonders @cency @selmachoukri @fictional-l0v3r @siesala @navs-bhat @natbarnes1917 @madwitch7 @goldylions @mysticatto @lesbians4levinson2021 @glxwingrxse @cjand10 @ladyravenclaw @kaaashie @ecolle @real-jane @roses-are-deadly @anxietyandtacos @buuuuuuucky @voidshoutsback
Fatal Royals III
Prince!Bucky x Princess!Reader
Word Count: 4.2k
TW: slow burn, blood, violence, swearing, sexual content, 18+ (you are responsible for your media consumption!)
A/N: Here is part three of (tentatively) five parts, thank you to everyone who sent in requests as part of my graduation celebration. Here is the ceremonious closing of the celebration. Enjoy! & as always thoughts are appreciated!
Part One | Part Two
“What happened, Y/N?” Pietro sat down in front of you after securing the door, his face furrowed with concern. He’d stayed silent from the time you found him until you’d gotten a room at an inn he knew was safe, which was where you sat now.
You hug your knees to your chest, feeling like a little kid again, being scolded by your older brother. It was the furthest thing from what he was doing, but your head was swarming, and you assumed he was upset you had been hurt.
You find it hard to meet his eyes, instead keeping your gaze down. “I let him get in my head, that’s what allowed him to get close enough to me-“
“No, I’m not talking about the assassination.” He takes both of your hands in his- an attempt to calm them. “You’re shaking Y/N. You’re never this upset over mission details.”
You let out a shuddered breath.
“What happened with James?” He searches your eyes for any hints. “He told you, didn’t he?”
You finally look up at him at that. “You knew?” He moves to sit next to you.
“Of course I knew Y/N. He’s my best friend…He was my best friend.” He corrects. It pains him to say it, you can see that plainly. He pauses for a moment, “You still love him, don’t you?”
You scoff. “Still?”
“Don’t try to conceal it from me, you’re my little sister.” You can see a smile glimpse his face. He knew calling you his ‘little’ sister had always vexed you.
You groan. “Must you remind me?” He nudges your shoulder, chuckling despite the serious topic. You give him a small smile, then sigh.
“It wouldn’t matter if I did or not, it’s too much. There’s too much tension. It would never work, Pietro. We’re too different.”
“You can’t know that. You were successful, and Father seems hopeful that your success brought the end of our problems.” You shake your head. “I have a feeling our troubles are only starting.”
You couldn’t have been more right. All hell had broken loose in the year since your return home. King George had been convinced of your family’s involvement and had considered it an act of war.
When you had heard the news of his declaration of war, your heart had dropped to your stomach. Everything had been planned to the last detail. The assassination was supposed to, and did, appear random. The only way you figured he would’ve found out is if Bucky had told him.
You didn’t want to entertain that idea. You’d convinced yourself that it didn’t matter, that the tension reaching its boiling point was only a matter of time, this just accelerated the timeline.
Your father seemed more ready for war then you’d have assumed, but you supposed he had thought the same you had- it was only a matter of time.
Now, both kingdoms had been through many months of war. Despite small victories in the beginning, King George’s army had been anticipating your kingdom’s every move as of late, and your armies were suffering.
Pietro storms through the entrance of the strategy tent, sword clanking against his armor as he walks. “Is it true? We’ve lost two more companies?”
Your father sighs from the throne at the head of the table, resting his head on one arm. “Pietro, please.”
You see your brother clench the hilt of his sword. “I won’t stay silent! The men are losing hope, and they die at my side while I follow your orders. King George has met us head on in every battle and now he sits, taunting us from across the river. We can’t advance without seeing more death.”
“It’s as if they know our every move before we take it.” You say through gritted teeth, though everyone in the tent has come to the same conclusion. Your eyes scan the map laid out in front of you, searching for any relief, any suggestion you could offer.
“Perhaps we just need more men.” Anton suggests. “Every able-bodied man can be sent for at a moment’s notice.”
“So they can be sent to die?” Pietro raises his voice. “That’s the last thing we should be doing.” They stare each other down. You don’t miss the tension between them.
You had told Pietro everything that had happened eventually, including your suspicions about Anton. And unlike your sister, he had supported your conclusion, though the two of you were still hesitant to believe them. Despite this, it was no secret that they had differing opinions on the strategies of war.
Your father silences their bickering with the raising of a hand. “Anton is right-“ He has to raise his voice as Pietro protests. “We must stay strong. We can’t let up.”
He turns to one of his generals. “Give the order. Send word to the largest provinces, get any man who can hold a sword into a training camp as soon as possible.”
Pietro runs his hands through his hair, exasperated, and leaves without another word. “You two will kill us all.” You mutter, before following your brother.
You find him by the river, crouched down and observing the smoke coming a few miles south of the bank. “They’re right there.” He doesn’t look up as you approach him.
“They’re just sitting. Miles from us, making no move.” He stands. “But every time we advance, he’s there. Every attack, he’s ready for.”
“Perhaps he has someone whispering in his ear.” You share a look.
“What are you two scheming over out here?” You turn to see your eldest brother stomping toward you. Pietro clasps his hands behind his back and gives him a tight smile. “Nothing, brother. We wouldn’t dare question your authority.” Anton glares at the both of you.
“You say that sarcastically, but that was true just last year.” He sighs, “What happened?” Pietro shifts uncomfortably, glancing at you. Anton doesn’t miss it.
“Y/N. What happened while you were in the Barnes’ kingdom?” You swat at Pietro for turning your brother’s attention on you, but resignedly speak anyway.
“The mission was a success…” You start. He raises an eyebrow, his arms folded across his chest. “But?”
“But… before I completed it, that man, he said to say hello to you.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but you wanted to see his reaction to the subtle accusation. His face barely changes.
“And you think that I was working with him?” He questions.
“Was he lying?” Pietro presses him, but Anton stays focused on you.
“How do you presume we knew his whereabouts? That he would be there? That his habits would leave him alone and vulnerable? Do you think we would risk an assassination going wrong?” He hisses. “Of course, he thought that we were friendly, Y/N, that’s the entire point.”
“That can’t possibly be all there is to it.” You snap back.
“Secrets only stay that way when one person knows them.” When you don’t say anything, he continues. “It doesn’t matter if you believe me, though it is the truth. All that matters is that the two of you understand that we will win this war. The cost is insignificant, and father agrees. They have plagued us for far too long, and nothing will stop me from getting what I want.”
You figured of all the stupid things you’d done in your life; this might be the stupidest. Dusk had settled over the valley, creating a natural cover as you slipped out of your tent and untied your horse.
You reach for your dagger again, the cool metal bringing some comfort to your nerves.
You were going to find Bucky.
In your mind, it’d been long enough that your last encounter would have been far from his mind. You’d realize later how naïve that was since it was fresh in yours all those months later.
It was easy to sneak into the camp. You’d left your horse tied to a tree a half mile from the borders and walked the rest of the way, the moon lighting your path. You only wandered the edges for a few moments, spotting the royal tents quickly by their noticeably bigger size, and grander materials.
Now to figure out which one he was in. “Shouldn’t you be asking yourself that question instead of bothering me with it? Isn’t that your job?”
You almost laugh when you hear him. In another situation, you’d probably tease him about how easy this whole journey was, and how his temper had aided you in finding him. And though you don’t laugh, you do have to purse your lips to keep from smiling.
The realization of that stops you in your tracks again as you remind yourself, he could very well use that temper on you. You weren’t exactly on cordial terms. You push aside the fabric being used as a door, sucking in a sharp breath when you see him.
He’s facing away from you, wrapping his hands with bandages. He’s in a pair of plain pants, the most casual you’d ever seen him, and nothing else. His muscles contract with every flick of the white fabric over his palms.
He has a fresh cut across his back. You feel a pinch in your heart at the thought of him facing battle.
“Haven’t I already put you in your place-“ He turns around as he says it, cutting himself off when his eyes land on you.
“Y/N.” He breathes out your name. “Hello Prince James.” Something flashes in his eyes at you reverting to formalities, but it’s gone in a second. He doesn’t spend a second longer looking at you, focusing back on his previous task.
You hesitantly step toward him. “You’re hurt.” With each movement you make, he yanks the fabric tighter around his hands. You stop when he’s within arm’s reach.
He finishes his hands, ignoring your statement, and turns to the desk behind him to pour himself a drink. He seems to change his mind, though, leaving the drink at his side and turning to lean against the table. “What are you doing here?” His voice is steady, completely calm.
You can’t say the same of yours. He was utterly beautiful and standing so close to you. The flickering of the torches that kept the room illuminated cast shadows over his tanned chest. Along with admiring his physique, you also noticed he looked more rugged than the last time you’d seen him, despite noticeably shorter facial hair. War did that to men.
“I needed to talk to you. Isn’t that obvious?” You say it as if it’s a challenge.
He tuts, “Have I been on your mind?”
You don’t attempt to come up with a retort, “I need your help.”
You’re surprised when he doesn’t have a snarky response, instead, he looks almost intrigued. “And what might you need my help with, princess?” Your nerve falters, so you attempt to change the subject to distract him while you recollect it. “The cut on your back needs to be cleaned. It could kill you.” You know that isn’t true, and you can tell he does too by the way he cocks an eyebrow, but instead of calling you on it, he nods you over to the bed, where he sits down on the edge.
There’s a dish with water and a cloth already sitting by his bedside. You move behind him, sitting next to the side table, and angle your body to allow you to reach both his back and the water. His back flexes when you first touch the soaked cloth to his wound, gently dabbing the blood and dirt away. Without his sight on you, you find the strength to talk.
“Anton is on a rampage.” You pause. “He’s prepared to sacrifice thousands more to win this war.” He stays quiet, aside from soft grunts as you continue to work on his back. “I had hoped that we could come to some sort of agreement. On behalf of our fathers.” You wring out the cloth, and though you’d seen water run red hundreds of times, seeing it in relation to Bucky made you queasy.
“You know, I never liked Anton.” He finally says. It’s almost dumbfounding how casual he says it. “Is there a point to that statement?” You ask, finishing your cleaning.
He scoffs, standing up to walk back to where his drink sits. He keeps his gaze locked on you as he picks up and finishes his drink in one go. He shifts and folds his arms across his chest. You get up from the bed, feeling uncomfortable to invade his personal area without him there with you, and move to stand near where he’s leaning against the table once again.
“I figured you’d be more rational than your father…” Annoyingly, you glance down, unable to not admire his biceps flexing. Your eyes shift back to his, and he has a cocky grin on his face, not missing the distraction he’d cause you.
Still looking at you, he places the glass back on the desk. Then, with the same hand, he grabs your wrist and yanks you forward so you’re standing between his legs. You reach out to steady yourself by instinct, planting a hand on his chest.
“I should kill you.” He mutters, eyes flickering to your lips. “I’m sure that would make your father realize his stupidity.” His hand moves to your waist to hold you in place. You make no effort to move yours off his chest, even sliding it up slightly to rest on his shoulder.
“Where’s the fun in that?” You whisper. He smirks at this, moving his hand to your face to tuck stray hair behind your ear. He studies his action as he does it, contemplative, and when he looks up at you again, his expression has changed.
“Anton was the one who told my father that you assassinated his noble.”
You blink at his bluntness. “What?”
The surprise must be evident on your face because he continues. “Wasn’t that the plan all along? Your father wanted this war, and he got it. Now we’re finishing it.”
You step back from him, and his hands fall to his lap. “I don’t understand. We were just settling the score. A life for a life.”
He snorts, “Please, Y/N, if we’re to negotiate like you said, we have to be honest with each other.”
You turn, giving yourself a few paces as your mind processes the new information. With a shake of your head, you stop and look at him again. “I didn’t know about any of this. I was avenging my mother. That’s all.”
“You really didn’t know?” The change in his tone takes you by surprise for the second time this night. You shake your head. At this, you can see his mind start moving, eyes calculated as he walks to a cabinet on the other side of the room and starts searching for something.
“He’s wanted this from the beginning. My father played right into his plan because he’s so blinded by his own pride.” He mutters.
“What are you suggesting? That my father wanted this war all along?” He’s completely serious when he looks at you again. “Yes.”
Some parts of it made sense to you, but others didn’t. “Why would he do this? As much as I hate to admit this, I don’t think this is a war we ever had a chance of winning.”
“With an official war declaration from my father, yours can do just about anything and use defense as a justification.” You furrow your brow, still unsure.
You hear a voice outside his tent, “Your highness, his majesty is requesting your presence!”
He keeps his eyes on you as he responds, “I’ll find him in a moment.” You hear steps receding, and when Bucky speaks again it’s quieter. “You need to go back to your camp. It’s not safe for you to stay any longer.”
“But we need to figure this out!” You protest.
He crosses the floor in an instant, his entire demeanor softening. You recognized the man standing in front of you now as your Bucky. The Bucky you had been in love with, who you’d seen glimpses of when he had kept you hidden last year.
“Bucky…” You whisper, eyes pleading. He cradles your face in his hands when he reaches you, fervently searching your eyes. “We will. But not here, it’s not safe.” He looks over your shoulder, as if expecting someone to be behind you. “Did you see the twisted tree on your way here?” You nod, vaguely remembering passing it. “Meet me there two nights from now. See what you can find out, and we’ll come up with a plan. Okay?”
“Okay.” Satisfied with your agreement, he moves his hand to the back of your neck, kissing you softly. “Please be careful if you confront your father.” He whispers against your lips. You hum in response, kissing him again. He only pulls away when his father’s voice booms outside the tent.
“James! Get out here!” The panic is his eyes is obvious. “Now you really need to leave.” With one last kiss, he lets go of you and walks toward the front of the tent.
He turns one last time. “I’ll see you soon, Daisy.”
And with that, he disappears outside. Daisy. The name causes your breath to hitch in your throat. He hadn’t called you that in years. He’d come up with it at nine years old, proclaiming it your nickname after finding you on more than one occasion in the garden picking daisies.
“I have a nickname: Bucky! It’s only fair you get one too.” As you got older, Pietro would tease you about the nickname, but Bucky would just smile, still proud of coming up with it.
You wait for him and his father’s voices to fade. You were more confused now than you had been the last time you’d kissed him. You couldn’t decipher his true feelings, or your own for that matter, but you weren’t going to question the cooperation to figure out what else you didn’t know about the true intentions of this war. Pushing your feelings about him aside for what felt like the hundredth time, you make your way back to the camp, intent on seeking out each of your family members before you next met Bucky.
It was hard to find a time when your father was without his advisors. The opportunity presented itself the evening of your meeting with Bucky. You had asked Pietro to come with you after filling him in on what you had learned because of the volatility you knew the conversation would have. He agreed without question, and also insisted on being with you when you met the prince later that night.
“Princess Y/N and Prince Pietro, my king.” His guards bowed as they announced you and your brother. “Yes, yes. I know my own children.” Your father mumbles, waving them off, all without lifting his head from the papers at his desk. You glance at Pietro, and he nods, giving your arm a squeeze to nudge you forward.
“Father, I was hoping to bring something to your attention.” He grunts, and you take it as a sign to continue. “Are you aware that Anton told King George of the mission you sent me on?” This causes him to finally look up, a scowl on his face. His eyes narrow at you. “How did you learn of that?” In that moment, you make an easy decision to keep Bucky’s name out of the conversation.
“He told me before I ended his life.” If Pietro notices your lie, he doesn’t show it. Your father hums, looking back down. “Yes, I instructed him to do so. He still listens to his king.”
“Well that was easy…” Pietro mutters.
“Are you saying you intended to start a war?” You step closer to his desk. “You sent me to start a war without my knowledge?” Your father sighs, setting his quill down with a thud of his fist. “Y/N, it was easier to keep you in the dark. Less emotional, you understand.”
“But why? Is there not better ways to settle your disputes? Ways that don’t threaten the lives of our people?”
He stands up suddenly, slamming his hands against the desk. “They killed your mother! My wife. How can you forget that?” He walks around the desk, towering in front of you.
“I haven’t forgotten! But how many other children will have to lose a parent because of your selfishness? This isn’t the way to do it!” He raises his hand to strike you, but Pietro catches his arm as you flinch. The silence in the room is deafening. Pietro shifts his gaze between your father, and his arm, completely bewildered.
You stare at the anger in your father’s eyes, “I don’t even recognize you.” You speak softly, eyes glistening. Your father yanks his arm from Pietro’s grip, causing your brother to stumble back.
“Get out of my sight. Both of you. Guards!” They enter immediately. “Escort my children back to their tents. And find Anton immediately!” He doesn’t spare you another glance as the guards walk you and Pietro out of your father’s tent.
You and Pietro arrived before Bucky did, even after wandering for what felt like hours until you found the twisted tree. You hadn’t talked about the conversation with your father, in fact, you’d barely spoken five words since you had been banished from his presence.
Pietro paced the clearing in front of the tree, hacking at random bushes if they dared to be in his path. He was frustrated, but also feeling hundreds of other emotions, just as you were. You leaned against the tree, throwing a set of knives into a stump several feet in front of you.
The next knife you throw bounces off the side of the wood, sticking into the ground next to it instead. You sigh as you push off the tree to retrieve the knife, as well as the ones in the stump.
“You’re getting sloppy.” Pietro has paused his whacking to watch you. The normal amusement was missing from his voice. You don’t say anything in response, keeping eye contact with him as you throw the knife to a tree in the corner of your eye, hitting it directly in the middle of the trunk.
“Jesus Christ.” You whip around fully when you hear his voice and see him looking at the knife you’d just thrown inches from his head. “I thought we’d agreed to stop trying to kill each other.” He pulls the knife from the tree and walks to where you and Pietro stand, handing it back to you. You take it with a small smile.
“Pietro.” He pulls him into a stiff hug, slapping him on the back.
Pietro smiles, returning the hug. “It’s been a while, my friend.”
Bucky pulls away after a moment, “I didn’t know you’d be here, but I’m glad to see you.” Pietro nods, “I forced Y/N to bring me. This is much bigger than either of us could’ve thought.”
At that, the energy in the area shifts, and you decide to speak up.
“You were right about our father. He sent me to start this war of egos.” You force yourself to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry.” Bucky looks like he wants to reach out to you, but restrains himself on account of Pietro.
Instead, he offers a simple reply. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Although you should be grateful for the reprieve, you can’t help but continue to be overwhelmed by it all. “Regardless, this can’t continue.” You look to your brother. “I think it’s time we had a new king.”
“Are you sure the two of you are prepared to do this?” Bucky asks. You harden your gaze and without hesitation, offer your response. “He’s been gone for years. We just haven’t seen it until now.” You look up at the two men in front of you. “He needs to be stopped. They both do, him and Anton.”
“I think I can convince my father to negotiate peace if you’re successful. He’s only irrational when it comes to his rivalry with your father. I don’t think the same would extend to either of you.”
You nod at Bucky, “Then it’s settled.” You turn your attention to your brother.
“What is it?” You snap at Pietro and the smirk he can’t help but have on his face.
“Look at the two of you, getting along so well.” He gestures at you both, your face heats as you realize that you had subconsciously moved closer to Bucky. You clear your throat, glancing at him and then giving a look to your brother, “Now’s not the time, Pietro.”
“Lighten up, Y/N, it’s only treason the two of you are suggesting. What could possibly go wrong?” You roll your eyes at him. “I know, I know.” He pushes off the tree he had been leaning against. “We’ll need Natalia. We need to be united to have support from our kingdom.” You nod, agreeing, then think of your youngest sister.
Your heart aches, “What about Yelena?”
Pietro’s answer is quick. “She doesn’t need to know. She’s safe at home. We can explain it to her when it’s all over.” He had a soft spot in his heart for all his sisters, but especially the baby of the family. She was only 13 but had already started the training your father had put you and Natalia through.
“Alright.” He claps his hands together. “Let’s stage a coup.”
Taglist: @mggpleasedontlookhere, @emmabarnes, @intothesoul, @art-eye-like, @melcutie, @thatwasnotplanned, @5lutty5arah
AS SOON AS YOU’RE ON YOUR FEET AGAIN
a/n: apologies, this is my first time writing in a while and im shit at dialogue. i had wrote this for someone on wattpad but they’ve yet to post it so im doing to here.
warnings: none :)
pairing: bucky x reader (any and all genders)
How many times will Bucky have to see this? How many times will he sit in a chair next to someone he loves wondering what happens next? He’s been here more times than he can count with Steve. More than he’d like with Sam and the rest of his newer Avenger friends. And now, once again, with you.
Blood cleaned away by countless rags, bruised and parts broken, you laid there under the protection of Buck’s watchful eye. All he wanted was for you to wake up. For this idiotic screw up on the military’s part to not be your last mission. He knew that it wouldn’t be, the damage wasn’t irreversible. And yet, he still sat with a furrowed brow and a frown.
13 times. 13 times in just over a year. That’s how many times he’s sat in one of these med bay grey chairs watching over you. By now you’ve got to know how much you mean to him. Right? Buck thinks it’s enough.
So he feels you may already know the truth when he leans over and whispers, “We oughta go dancin’ sometime.”
It was finally then that you opened your eyes, cringing from the harsh light and white paint. Intending to only glance but getting caught in a stare down.
“Yeah”, you responded , “I think I’d like that.”
Bucky’s eyes crinkled and his teeth shown as he leaned over, kissing your nose and connecting your foreheads.
“Alright doll, as soon as you're on your feet again
Just a Little Bit
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (enemies to lovers)
Prompt: After a particular mission brings forward the issues between yours and Bucky’s relationship, it’s decided that a bonding exercise is the best way to close the rift. There’s only two rules: no murdering each other, and you can’t say “no.” (based on this request)
Warnings: SMUT 18+ (fingering, oral m and f receiving, unprotected sex, teasing, spanking, dirty talk, cumplay, slight dub-con elements), some fluff, a tiny bit of angst, mentions of violence, mentions of injuries
A/n: Thank you so much to the lovely anon who requested this! I’m a little rusty with writing smut so I hope it isn’t horrible. I also changed the ask up just a little bit! I hope you all enjoy, and as always, my inbox, messages, requests, and taglists are open!
It felt like you were being sent to the Principal’s office.
And that was the first thing you voiced as you stepped into the small meeting room, earning a groan from all three men.
“Alright, alright, bad joke, I get it,” you huffed, flopping down into one of the swivel chairs. “Take it easy on me, I can barely even see your judge faces right now over this fucking ice pack.” They really couldn’t have waited until after the swelling on your face had gone down?
“It’s not our fault that you ran into a fucking wall,” Bucky snapped, taking the seat farthest away from you.
“No, a person threw me into a wall, Barnes. Get your facts straight,” you snapped, aiming an accusing finger at him.
“A little over to your left, sweetheart.”
You yanked the ice pack off of your nose, swollen and bruised face be damned, and chucked it exactly where you were pointing, hitting him square in the chest.
“Children!” Tony snapped, bringing everyone’s attention to him. “Can we table this truly enthralling argument for another time?”
A small pout settled on your face as you leaned back in your seat, nodding silently.
“Why are we here?” Bucky grumbled. “Debriefings usually don’t take place and three in the morning.”
“Well, lucky for you, it’s not a debriefing,” Tony responded, crossing his arms over his chest before turning to Steve. “Care to explain, Captain?”
“We need to have a serious discussion about you two,” Steve explained, voice steady and calm as he eyed the two of you.
“We know we need to sign forms if we’re fucking, Steve. You’ve only told us that a million times,” you said, resting one arm on the table and laying your head atop it. “But don’t worry, I wouldn’t let his cyborg dick anywhere near me.”
Steve’s lips turned downwards in disapproval before he shook his head. “No, it’s about your performance in the field.” He leaned against the table. “You two are risking each other’s lives with your bickering and immaturity.”
“Then don’t pair us together, simple as that,” Bucky spoke, rising from his chair. “Are we done here?”
“Buck, sit down,” Steve commanded, his patience wearing extremely thin. “It’s not that simple. If we need you two to go on a mission together, it should be expected that you two won’t get the other hurt or even killed. With how this easy recon mission has gone, we’re having trouble expecting that from you two.”
“So, we’ve devised a plan to help you two get along, bond, grow your skills,” Tony piped up, and the smirk that grew on his face made apprehension stir in your stomach, your head slowly rising from the table. “We’re sending you two to my winter cabin in upstate New York for the weekend.”
“Isn’t that, like, in the middle of nowhere?” you questioned.
“It absolutely is, Y/L/N. Great observation.”
Your eyes narrowed at Steve and Tony. “I feel like there’s a catch. Y’know, other than the fact that we’ll be all by ourselves in the middle of nowhere for two whole days.”
“Gosh, you really are hitting every nail on the head. Sharp as a tack, this one. What are you, a spy or something?” Tony leaned forward, settling his hands on the table. “There’s two simple rules: first of all, no murdering each other. Secondly, you can’t say no to each other.”
You and Bucky shared a look, letting the proposition float in the air for a few silent moments. “And if we don’t go through with this? Or break the rules?”
“Then you’re benched until further notice.” Tony clapped his hands together as you and Bucky reeled from everything that was just dropped on you two. “Alright, good talk, folks. See you bright and early tomorrow morning. Your suitcases are already packed.”
As Steve and Tony headed for the door, Bucky shot up from his seat. “Steve, come on,” Bucky basically whined, hot on Steve’s heels. “Do you really think this is a good idea?”
“I actually do, Buck. It’s about time you two get your shit together,” Steve snapped, stunning Bucky into silence. Without another word, Steve left the room, leaving you and Bucky by yourselves in the now-deserted meeting room.
“This is all your fault.”
“I swear to fucking god, Barnes-”
The three hour drive wasn’t too bad, luckily. It was probably because Steve was chauffeuring and he seemed to be the only one to break up your arguments with Bucky. You just hoped that this calm silence would continue for the whole weekend, but you definitely were skeptical of that actually taking place.
When Steve pulled up to the cabin, it was only 10 a.m. The sun was high in the sky, glowing down on the pine trees that towered above you and even the three story cabin. In any other circumstance, you would be eternally grateful to Tony for allowing you to stay in this stunning mansion of a cabin surrounded by seemingly endless forest.
However, reality caught back up to you when Bucky shoved your duffle bag into your arms. “Let’s go,” he snapped, trudging his way to the front door and inside the house.
After thanking Steve for driving and giving him a hug that lasted a little too long for the sake of procrastination, you watched the car drive back down the winding road before reluctantly making your way inside.
At your entrance, a familiar voice sounded overhead.
“Agent Barnes, Agent Y/L/N, welcome to your getaway weekend cabin,” FRIDAY greeted.
“Of course,” you sighed, tossing your bag onto the ground. “Why would I expect anything different?”
“It has been requested by Tony to surveil you two during your stay in order to ensure that no rules are broken during your stay. Otherwise, I will not be actively present unless requested, as per usual. Brunch is in the fridge. Enjoy your stay.”
“What the fuck is brunch?” Bucky spoke, stepping into the kitchen adjoined next to the living room and opening the fridge.
“A meal between breakfast and lunch. Did that not exist in the 40′s?” you explained, following behind him and glancing in the fridge.
“We were in the middle of a war, we didn’t have the money to have another meal between breakfast and lunch.” He pulled out a platter of waffles, bacon, eggs, and hash browns, along with a bottle of champagne, skirting past you to set it down on the breakfast bar.
“Ooh, is there orange juice, too? I want a mimosa.”
“I’m convinced you’re speaking gibberish at this point.”
“Get with the times, old man.” You opened the fridge and pulled out the bottle of orange juice sat in the door, holding it up like a trophy before scouring through the cabinets for two champagne flutes. “Now, do you want one or are you gonna be a buzzkill?”
Luckily, the bulk of the day was fairly tame, mostly spent with you two sitting on completely opposite ends of the couch as you watched tv or snacked off of the brunch platter or downed the bottle of champagne that most definitely cost more than your life’s savings.
However, as the sun slowly started to lower and your stomach started grumbling for dinner as the brunch tray had been cleared off hours earlier, it dawned upon you two that there was no other food in the house.
“Should we order something?” you asked, glancing into the fridge one last time as if food would magically appear.
“Would they even deliver up here?” Bucky sighed.
“I doubt it. But, I mean, we’ve got Tony’s credit card equipped through FRIDAY, so we could offer more money for the trip up.”
“Fine, but you’re calling.”
“What, why do I have to call?!” You followed closely behind him as he headed back to the living room.
“Because I said so, and there’s this little rule in place right now, if you don’t recall.”
You huffed, jaw wound tight as you examined the smirk on his face. “Fine. I’ll order the food if you admit something to me.”
“And what is that?”
You mirrored his smirk, cocking your head to the side. “You have to admit that it was your fault that we got ambushed on the mission, not mine.”
“Ooh, do I hear a protest. Perhaps, even, a two letter word starting with the letter ‘n?’ Hmm?”
He pulled his lower lip between his teeth, biting down on the flesh for a moment before shooting you a glare. “Order the fucking food.”
“Not until you admit it.”
“Sounds like we’re not getting food any time soon.”
“I guess not.” You shrugged. “Unless you call. Will you call?”
He sucked in a deep breath, fingers clenching into fists at his sides, but he stayed silent.
“Please, Bucky? Please, please, please can you call?”
His body ached so badly to smack the stupid victorious smirk off of your face, but instead, he let out the breath in his lungs and closed his eyes. “Fine.” Without another word, he turned on his heel and pulled his phone from his pocket before flopping down on the couch.
“I’ll have a cheese pizza with extra cheese.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
With a full stomach and a complete annoyance of the lack of decent shows playing, you rolled off of the couch and onto your feet. “’m gonna go to bed,” you mumbled, rubbing at your eye with the heel of your palm, careful to avoid your still-tender nose.
Bucky nodded, lifting himself off of the couch as well before clicking the TV off. He headed over to the entryway where both of your bags laid.
“Can you carry my bag, too? I’m too tired.”
He rolled his eyes but obliged, taking one bag in each hand. “God, you’re such a baby,” he grumbled, brushing past you and heading up the stairs that led to a plethora of rooms. He tossed your bag into the first room, whose door was open, before heading over to the next room, whose door was closed. You followed behind him, wanting to see what each room looked like, but stopped at his side as he yanked at the door knob. “It’s locked.”
“Maybe it’s Morgan’s room for when she stays here. Try the next one.”
The next door was unlocked, along with every other door other than the door to the first room. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“I think they want us to share a bed.”
“You fucking think?”
“Come on. Maybe the bed is big enough for both of us to not touch each other.”
You walked back into the first room, only to walk straight back out as you took a good long look at everything inside.
Sure, the bed was large. Large enough to hold probably three full grown adults. That wasn't the issue, though.
The issue was the bowl of condoms sat on the night stand. And the collection of adult toys immaculately lined up atop the dresser. And the plethora of ropes hanging off of the closet door. And the stack of folded towels set on top of the neatly made bed.
“On second thought, I’m gonna go sleep on the couch,” you rushed out, avoiding Bucky’s gaze as you scurried down the stairs and into the living room.
Where there was no longer a couch.
With wide eyes, you walked back up the stairs and into the entry way of the room where Bucky was still taking everything in. “There’s no couch,” you spoke.
“What?” he hummed, a pink tint fading from his cheeks as he turned to you.
“The couch is gone. There is no couch.”
“Dude, I’m not fucking sleeping with you. Go sleep on the couch or I will.”
“Go look for yourself then.”
He huffed, trotted down the stairs, and then returned back up to you just moments later. “The couch is gone.”
“That’s what I just fucking said, dumbass.” You ran a hand through your hair, letting out a huff. “The man can get a shit ton of sex toys and a trap door to get rid of the couch but can’t fill up the fridge with more than one meal.”
He picked his duffel bag up off of the floor and stepped inside the room, deliberately keeping his gaze directed towards the ground. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Bucky, it’s fine. This was their plan all along. I bet they fucking sewed the pillows and sheets to the bed or something. Just sleep on the bed.” You tossed your bag onto the bed’s right side, tugging the zipper open to retrieve your pajamas from inside.
“I’m, uh, I'm gonna go take a shower.” He gingerly set his bag on the other side. “Can you get rid of all this... stuff.”
You just nodded, staring down at the pajamas in your hands and waiting until he closed the en-suite bathroom door behind him to swiftly change into them and stuff your old clothes into your bag.
The first thing you tucked away was the condoms, dumping them into the drawer of the nightstand and slamming it shut. Afterwards, you gathered all of the ropes off of the closet door and tossed them inside the closet before shutting the door.
As you made your way over to the dresser, a noticeable and sadly-expected heat started pooling in the pit of your stomach. The toys were clearly expensive, and their sleek black bodies detailed with gold were clearly intentional. Those motherfuckers.
Would Tony even notice if you tucked one away in your bag and took it home as a souvenir of sorts? Would Bucky?
You squeezed your thighs together and sucked in a shaking breath, picking up one of the toys in the middle of the row and examining it. It was obviously a vibrator, evident by the glimmering gold switch that turned it on and off, along with the levels of speed and intensity that could be selected. However, there was an arm of sorts that extended out of the phallic-shaped body, something meant to stimulate your clit.
The way your breaths grew rapid didn’t go unnoticed by you, but that was tucked away into the back of your mind as your mind decided to focus on something different, something more important.
Thoughts of you and Bucky swarmed your head. More specifically, you and Bucky and this toy.
Maybe you’d have him sit at the edge of the bed and watch between your spread legs as you thrusted the toy in and out of you, hips jerking with every touch of the extension to your throbbing clit. You’d wait until you came once, maybe even twice, before he could touch you.
Maybe he’d use it on you, pistoning the toy in and out of you at a pace so rapid that it made your head spin. Your hands would grip tightly onto his relentless arm to stabilize yourself, to make him feel the clamminess of your palms as moans unabashedly stumbled past your lips.
Shaking your head, you pulled the top drawer of the dresser open and tossed the toy inside before making a sweeping motion over the top of the dresser and brushing the rest inside as well.
Silently, you walked back over to the bed and slipped under the covers on your side, laying on your right side so your gaze was directed towards the wall rather than the bathroom door that Bucky no doubt would be walking out of anytime soon, and you didn’t trust your composure enough to see him in the tight-fitting black shirt and equally tight black boxers that he called pajamas (or worse, just a towel).
Just a few minutes later, you felt hot steam billowing out of the bathroom as he stepped out. “Shower’s open if you want,” he spoke, curiously eyeing your body that visibly tensed at his voice.
“’m good, I’ll take one in the morning,” you explained. “Besides, you probably used up all the hot water. I can feel the steam from over here, you fucking glutton.”
Your eyes squeezed shut when a small chuckle reverberated in his chest, slowly squeezing your legs together and hoping to God he didn’t notice.
It got even worse when you felt the bed shift under his weight, silently wishing you told him to sleep on the floor. Maybe you could just shove him off the bed. Or you could sleep on the floor. The cold hardwood might be a nice reprieve against your heated and flushed skin.
“You okay, Y/L/N?” he spoke.
You could feel his eyes burning into your back. You nodded. “I’m fine. Besides, when do you care how I am?”
“Just don't want to wake up next to a dead body in the morning.”
“Oh, I only wish I was dead, Barnes. Now go to sleep before I give you a bruise to match mine.”
“Have fun trying, doll.”
“I’m gonna smother you with a pillow in your sleep if you don’t shut the fuck up, I swear to God.”
All that came from him was another demeaning chuckle before you felt the warmth of his body radiating next to you as he slipped under the covers, even through there was a good foot of space between you two.
You made a mental note to beat the shit out of Steve and Tony when you got back.
It was hard to decipher if it was the sun shining through the curtains that woke you up, or if it was the warm breath fanning over the back of your neck as a cold arm pulled you closer to an even warmer body.
Your whole body grew rigid and your eyes snapped open.
No, scratch that, it wasn’t either of those things.
It was the fucking massive hard-on Bucky was sporting nestled perfectly between your ass cheeks.
Of course he had a big dick. Fuck him.
Holding your breath, you attempted you wiggle your way out of his grip without waking him up, truly wanting to avoid a confrontation with him while he was hard and Tony’s AI was listening to you two.
After about 30 seconds, you were able to slip half of your body away from his grip. But you got cocky and impatient.
With one swift move, you pulled away completely, immediately tumbling out of the bed and landing on the floor with a loud thud.
Bucky woke up with a start, sucking in a gasp as he shot up and searched around the room. However, his shoulders relaxed and his heartbeat slowed when he watched you sit up off of the floor with a groan. “You good?” he rasped.
You scrambled to your feet and scurried over to the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower!” you shouted before slamming the door shut.
Though the icy cold water definitely helped shake off the heat that had constantly been radiating in your core since last night, you considered just rubbing a quick one out to get the need out of your system.
Instead, you washed yourself at lightning speed before turning off the water, wrapping a towel tightly around your body, and stepping back into the bedroom to get a change of clothes (luckily, Bucky had already made his way downstairs).
You bounded down the steps and into the kitchen where Bucky resided, thumbing through a phone book he found in one of the junk drawers.
“Did you check the year on that book, Barnes?” you teased, grabbing it by the top and checking the cover. “2006. Doubt you’re gonna find any helpful info in there, old man. Use google.”
He let out a huff of annoyance, slamming the book shut and tossing it onto the counter. “Just trying to look for ideas for food,” he explained, trying to keep his voice steady.
“Again, google is a Godsend.”
“There’s no internet service up here. it stopped working last night.”
“Then ask FRIDAY.”
At the mention of her name, she made her presence known with a simple “What can I do for you?”
“Can you look up where the nearest IHOP is?”
She verified that there was indeed one just a few miles away, and you quickly requested her to place two orders of French toast, eggs, and bacon to be delivered to the cabin. After confirming your order, she went silent.
You left the kitchen and walked into the living room, an annoyed chuckle leaving your lips at the sight of the gigantic couch back in the spot it was yesterday as if it never disappeared. “The couch is back,” you shouted to Bucky.
“Of course it is,” he spoke, brushing past you to take the same spot he resided in the day before. You did the same, hands gliding over the soft cushions as you searched for the remote.
As you looked up to ask Bucky if he’d seen it, you noticed the sleek black device in his hands. “Can we watch Mamma Mia?”
He rolled his eyes, leaning back into the couch. “We watched that yesterday.”
“And I want to watch it again today. It’s my comfort movie.”
His jaw ticked, eyes staring straight ahead at the still-black screen. “Fine, put it on.” He tossed the remote to you without looking.
You weren’t expecting him to throw the remote at you, and with everything else that had happened in just the past 12 hours, your reaction time was a bit inhibited.
A pained whine fell from your lips as the remote connected with your healing nose, your hands coming up to clutch at your face in lieu of catching the falling device. “Motherfucker,” you sputtered, holding your nose with one hand while the other gently wiped away the blood that began to drip.
In an instant, Bucky sprung to his feet and rushed over to you, his hands engulfing your shoulders as he examined your face. His expression was similar to one of a kicked puppy, brows knitted together in worry and pure regret swimming in his eyes. “Are you okay?” he whispered.
“’m fine.” you turned away from him, leaning over the dark mahogany floors to let the blood drip out of your nose, not wanting to stain the suede couch. “Can you get me some napkins or something?”
He ran into the kitchen and grabbed a whole roll of paper towels, ripping a few sheets off as he made his way back to you. Kneeling down in front of you, he coaxed your hands away from your face before pressing the paper towels delicately underneath your nose.
The dripping blood subsided as soon as it came, and Bucky worked to wipe off all of the smeared red on your hands, lips, and chin before setting the stained paper towels on the coffee table. “Does it hurt?” he questioned, the gentle raspiness of his voice a welcoming contrast to the usual sharp and short tone.
You shrugged. “Can... Can you check if it’s broken?”
He gave you a short nod before his hands returned to your face, fingers gliding across the bruised flesh and prodding at it with feather-light touches. The previous worry marring his forehead and brow shifted into focus, matched with his stuck-out tongue that wet his lower lip.
Your breaths grew brief and ragged as they came in and out of your parted lips, feeling warmth crawl to your face as his fingers touched you so tenderly, as his eyes held so much sincerity. You couldn’t take it. You closed your own eyes.
Of course you wanted him, needed him, loved him. I mean, who wouldn’t? With that brooding face and those glimmering oceans of blue that were his eyes, the deep rasp of his voice and his body that resembled a greek god carved from stone. The love she showed to Steve, to Wanda, even to Sam at times. Love you’d never been on the receiving end of.
But at that moment, with him touching you like the fragile thing you wished he could see you as, you almost could imagine what it would feel like to be loved by him.
“I don’t think it’s broken,” he announced, reeling you back into reality. He was just checking to make sure that you didn’t need to go to the hospital. Nothing more, nothing less.
You nodded slowly. “Thanks,” you breathed, letting your eyes flutter back open.
The breath you tried to catch fled your lungs once more as your eyes locked with his. There was a guilt swimming in his gaze that you’d never seen directed towards you, and it made you feel a little guilty that it made you swoon so hard. And his hands were still on your face and the warm and the cold made your head spin and-
“It's, uh, I think it’s just gonna be more tender feeling than usual.” Without another word, he rose to his feet and made his way back to his part of the couch, staring at the blank tv.
An awkward silence stretched between you two and instead of breaking it, you rose to your feet and headed to the kitchen to get an ice pack for your nose. After locating one and pressing it to your sore nose, you dejectedly headed back upstairs to the bedroom. Maybe you can get a good use out of that vibrator once your nose stops hurting.
With a sigh, you closed the door behind you and settled down on the unmade bed, letting the ice pack balance on your face as you closed your eyes.
It was either you didn’t hear the door open or you ignored it, but a moment later, you felt a figure hovering over you, along with the weight of one hand settled next to your right side.
“You remember how we have a rule right now?” Bucky’s warm voice breathed into your ear.
Your eyes shot open, locking with his once more, but the expression the was there just minutes before was replaced with something else, something... better, perhaps?
“Yeah,” you gasped, slowly pulling the ice pack away from your face.
He nodded. “Good, good. Just wanted to make sure you knew that you can’t stop me from doing this.”
You couldn’t even get the questioning words formulated in your mind before his lips were slotted against yours, hands settling on your hips and knees coming up to settle on the bed and prop himself up above you. Immediately, your hands let go of the ice pack and rose to cup his cheeks, back arching upward as you pressed yourself as close to him as humanely possible.
Moments after his tongue slipped into your mouth, he pulled away. “Wanna fuck you, pretty girl,” he admitted, running his nose along the column of your throat. “Can I fuck you?”
You gave a hum of agreement, a weak little “mhm” that took all of the breath in your lungs to let out.
But apparently, that wasn’t enough for him,
He reached up, taking your face in his hands and squishing your cheeks together. “Use your words. Can. I. Fuck. You?” His lips were so dangerously close to yours it made your brain foggy.
“Yes,” you slurred through squished cheeks.
“Now, are you saying yes because you want me to fuck you or because you aren’t allowed to reject me?”
“I want you to fuck me. Please.”
He nodded. “Good girl. How about we go off the color system, yeah? So you can stop me if there’s something you don’t want me to do.”
“You can do whatever you want to me.”
He perked up at that, tilting his head as a mischievous smirk cracked across his lips. “Yeah, baby? You’re gonna let me to fuck you until you see stars? Make you cum over and over again until you cry?”
You nodded fervently, parting your legs so he could slot himself between them. Instantly, he began rutting his hips against yours, his clothed hard-on brushing against your covered pussy as moans fell from both of your lips. You reached down to tug at his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before he sat back on his haunches and did the same for you.
With no hesitation, he dropped his head to your chest, mouthing at the tops of your breasts as one hand slid behind your back to unhook your bra. Once the hook was undone, he yanked the fabric off of your chest and engulfed your breasts with his hands.
“God, baby. You’ve been hiding these perfect tits from me, huh?” he chided, squeezing them before gliding his hands down to your ribs and pushing your breasts together. He bowed his head once more and laved at each nipple, tugging the pert bud between his teeth every so often as he alternated between them.
You let out a whine, clutching his silky strands of hair in one hand while the other worked at tugging off your leggings and panties. “Bucky,” you cried out, tugging at his hair.
“What’s wrong? I thought you said I could do whatever I wanted to you, and I wanna play with these pretty tits.”
“Yeah? And what’s ‘more?’”
Your face grew hot and you pulled your lower lip between your teeth as you stared down at him. “Want you to eat my pussy.”
He beamed up at you, dark eyes sparkling with excitement that he allowed you to take in for just a moment before he lurched up, capturing your lips with his once more. “I’d love to, doll.”
His hands took hold of your leggings and panties that you were able to push down to about mid-thigh, tugging them down the rest of the way and tossing them to the side. He settled on his stomach, face just inches away from your sopping heat, so close that you could feel his breath fanning over the heated flesh, making your hips jerk. His beaming smile grew roguish as he watched your reaction and took hold of your calves to drape your legs over his shoulders.
“You’re sensitive, aren’t ya?”
You nodded, hands once again returning to his hair. “Need you.”
He gave you a look of mock-concern, smoothing his chilly metal hand over your inner thigh. With his other hand, he hovered just his index finger above your hooded clit, searching your eyes for a moment before giving the bundle of nerves a single tap.
You let out a gasp, hips immediately lifting up off of the bed and towards his hand that he pulled away far too soon. He let out an amused chuckle, waiting until your lower half returned to the bed to repeat his ministrations.
His chuckles persisted as he repeated his actions five more times, completely entertained by the way your hips chased after his finger in a sort of desperate dance and your slit grew twice as slick, beginning to drip down your ass cheeks and onto the sheets.
“Bucky, please,” you sobbed, fingers curled so tightly into his hair that it urged a groan from him.
“I know, baby. You just look so pretty, all dripping and needy like this,” he cooed, pressing a gentle kiss to your hip bone. Slowly, his left hand began to glide up your inner calf, his ring and pinky curling down to connect with his palm as he made the trek up to hover right over your heat. “So wet, I bet I could just...” With no hesitation, he sunk his two extended fingers into your entrance. “Slip right in.”
A sound rivaling a sob tore through your throat at the sudden intrusion, nearly drowning out the squelch that sounded from your pussy. But your noises quickly turning to gasping, shaky silence as he thrusted his fingers in and out of you at a frantic pace, knocking all the breath from your lungs. His mouth engulfed your clit, sucking it between his lips and scraping it with his teeth.
It had barely taken a minute before you were teetering on the edge of your orgasm, both hands now buried in Bucky’s hair and holding him solidly against your clit, though you doubted he’d stop any time soon.
“So close,” you whimpered, toes starting to curl.
“Cum for me, baby. Cum on me,” he coaxed, fingers moving so quickly that you were convinced they were basically vibrating.
You nodded, panting out a few deep breaths before your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your jaw grew slack, letting go to the fullest extent.
As soon as you hit your peak hit, Bucky’s fingers and mouth switched spots, fingering rubbing tight circles on your clit while his tongue lapped at your entrance, slurping up your release enthusiastically. His ministrations slowed as you came down, opting to flatten out his tongue and slowly lick upward, starting at your still-dripping hole and up to your clit before dropping back down and repeating.
A small, whiny “Buck” slipped out between pants, hands now working to shove him away from your slit rather than pushing him deeper into it.
He shook his head, hooking his arms underneath your thighs. “Taste too good, pretty girl,” he mumbled, sucking your folds between his lips before releasing them with a groan.
“But I wanna suck your dick.”
His eyes lifted to yours, planting a final kiss to your clit, making your hips stir, before pulling away. “Yeah?”
You gave him a nod, pulling your legs away from his arms and placing your hands in his, tugging slightly so he would crawl back up your body. Once his face was level with yours, you gave him a peck while lifting his metal hand up to your lips, turning your head once they were close enough and slipping the first two digits into your mouth, getting a taste of your slick.
A low groan rumbled in Bucky’s chest, letting his fingers prod at the back of your throat for a moment before reluctantly pulling them out, cupping your cheek. “I think I might have to take a rain check on that,” he sighed, thumb tracing over your bottom lip before tugging it down, revealing your bottom row of teeth.
“Why?” you whined, reaching down to cup his bulge through his sweats. “Do you not want me to give you a blow job?”
“I do! Trust me, I definitely do.” he bit back a groan as your hand continued to work over his hard-on. “I just don’t know if I can hold back, and I don’t want to hurt your nose any more.”
You pouted playfully, though you couldn’t help the smirk that began to crack through. Your hand moved away so you could lift your hips, brushing your slick center over him at the thought of him falling apart so beautifully, unable to hold back as he clutches your hair and fucks your mouth at his own volition. “Fine. Next time. But that means you need to fuck me now.”
He nodded, giving you the space to sit up and rid himself of his pants and boxers. Once they were off and tossed to the floor, he let you crawl into his lap, arms hooking around his neck and legs entwining around his waist, gliding your slick folds over his cock.
His hips stuttered as his hands found purchase on your body, his left hand settled on the middle of your back while his right hand palmed at your ass. He landed a few smacks, urging you forward and locking your lips with his to muffle your cries. “God, baby, you’re just perfect,” he panted against your lips, pulling away a moment later and letting his breaths mingle with yours. His eyes locked with yours just as his hand came down against your flesh once more.
“Come on, Bucky,” your voice came out as a shaky plea, letting one hand wander down and ghost over his pulsing and weeping member.
He jolted at your touch, giving you a quick nod and laying you down on the bed, guiding himself to your entrance while his hands separated your legs from his waist so he could spread them apart and watch as he penetrated you.
He was planning on going slow, allowing you to adjust to his size, but the moment the head of his cock breached your hole, he couldn’t hold back, and he slid in with one fluid thrust.
The scream you let out startled him, but as his eyes flickered up to your face and saw the pure ecstasy that filled your expression, he knew that you were alright. Still, he couldn’t help but ask, “That feel good, doll?”
Wordlessly, you nodded, chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Sorry, baby, I just couldn’t hold back. Your pretty cunt’s just too tight, had to feel you around me.”
“Please, please move,” you stuttered, reaching out to grip at his shoulders, digging your nails into his skin. “Y’feel so good.”
Both hands settled at your hips, pulling out slowly and tugging your body down to meet his upward thrusts at a brutal, mind-numbing pace. He leaned forward as he did so, nosing at your throat and sponging kisses to your clavicle and shoulders. “Fuck, pretty girl. Just can’t get enough of you.”
Each thrust nudged so perfectly at your g-spot that you could barely catch your breath, but you found yourself wrapping your limbs around him and holding him closer, further strangling your breathing. Who needed oxygen when you’ve got a super soldier rearranging your guts?
His hands slid away from your waist as he gained his own rhythm in his thrusts, instead opting to rub at your clit and press down on your lower stomach. A proud smile crept onto his face as your body went slack at his ministrations, lips molding to yours immediately. It was needy, sloppy, and everything he could ever want from a kiss, especially with you.
“B-Buck,” you sobbed into his mouth, clawing at his chest and shoulders.
“You gonna come for me?” he urged, his thrusts turning into rough and desperate grinds that consistently applied pressure to the spongy patch within your walls, making your legs shake. “Gonna fall apart?”
“I’m so close.”
“Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
Your teeth caught his lower lip for a moment before you hit your peak, jaw dropping and back arching as you trembled underneath him. His one hand continued rubbing at your clit while the other rose to hold your face, watching your eyes basically cross as a strange sense of pride brewed in his stomach, along with the tightening coil that was about to snap at any moment.
The feeling of your walls pulsing around him tugged him dangerously close to his own high, the movements of his hips growing erratic. “You gotta let me go so I can pull out,” he rasped, eyelids fluttering.
You shook your head, legs tightening around him and hooking your ankles behind his back. “Cum inside me, baby,” you pleaded.
His breath caught in his throat as your words brought him to his climax, his body nearly collapsing on top of you as his hips continued to rock against yours, pumping loads of his spend deep into your cunt as groans fell from his mouth.
Once his legs stopped trembling and he was milked dry, he slowly untangled your legs off of him and slid off of you.
“Where’re you going?” you mumbled, placing your palms against your heated cheeks as your eyes closed
“Gonna get you cleaned up, sweetheart,” he explained.
A moment later, you felt his wet tongue carding through your dripping and spent folds. You gasped, propping yourself up on your elbows so you could see what he was doing.
His eyes locked with yours as his tongue made another long stride up your slit, capturing the mixture of your cum and his in his mouth and swallowing it down gratefully. “So obsessed with this pretty cunt, baby,” he mumbled, eyes flickering between your face and your dripping hole. He ducked down and slipped the wet muscle inside, lapping at your walls and licking them clean.
You could only handle about a minute of it before you lifted your hips up and away from his persistent mouth, clamping your legs shut with a whimper. “Sensitive,” you whined, shivering at his vibranium hand smoothing over your calf.
“Alright, alright.” He got up off of the bed and headed into the bathroom, returning with a damp washcloth and, once you let him open your legs, quickly wiped away yours and his release and his saliva. He cleaned himself off, too, before throwing the washcloth in the direction of the bathroom and crawling up the bed. He settled next to you, adjusting you so your head was laying on a pillow before he relaxed. “How’re you feeling?”
“Very good.” You let out a giggle and turned on your side to face him. “How about you.”
“I feel amazing, doll.” He reached out and cupped your face, thumb caressing your cheekbone.
His brows slowly knit together as he turned his hand slightly to brush his index finger over the bridge of your nose, scowling as you winced from the gentle touch.
“You’re right,” he spoke up, tugging his lower lip between his teeth.
“About what?” you hummed, eyes opening to search his expression.
“That it was my fault that you got hurt, that the mission went sideways.”
You rolled your eyes, moving to sit up. “Didn’t know you were one for pillow talk, Barnes. Sadly, I’m not.”
“Y/N, I’m serious. This isn’t some sappy, pillow talk bullshit.” He sat up as well and grabbed your arm. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention, and it got you hurt.”
“Fine.” You turned to face him, tugging your arm out of his grip. “Tell me this, then, Barnes. Are you gonna feel the same way in a day when you’re not in a post-sex haze?”
His lips pressed together in a fine line and he scooted over to you. “Doll, I’ve felt this way since it happened.”
“Why didn’t you say it then?”
A shuddering sigh left his lips. “Because I’m a stubborn asshole who doesn’t like to admit that he’s in the wrong. And... And because I can't keep pushing you away forever. It’s killing me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you really think I hate you, even after this?”
You shrugged. “Hate sex is a thing, Barnes.”
“Doll, you’re my favorite person. You’re so smart and funny and powerful and... I was terrified to tell you, because you’d get hurt if anything came of us. But then you got hurt because I pushed you away, and I knew I had to fix it.”
“Are you telling me that you planned this trip?”
“No! God, no. I guess it was just... a blessing in disguise.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But if you want to pretend like none of this ever happened and we go on hating each other, that’s fine with me. I just had to do something.”
You let out a laugh. “Bucky, you just fucked my soul out of my body. You ate my pussy after you just came inside of me, and that is the hottest thing anyone has ever done to me. You think I’m just gonna let everything go back to normal after that?” You crawled over to him and placed your hands on his shoulders. “Besides, I’ve got a raincheck for a blowjob and I intend to do it the second my nose stops hurting. And maybe I like you a little bit, too.”
He chuckled, settling his hands on your waist and rubbing soothing circles on your exposed skin. “Well, how about a date tomorrow night when we get back?”
“That sounds perfect.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Just promise me something?”
“Promise me that you’re gonna be transparent with me about everything you’re feeling. Scared, worried, horny, all of it.”
“Good, good. Now, where’s the IHOP I ordered?”
“Your meal was delivered approximately 12 minutes ago. It is on the front doorstep,” FRIDAY spoke up.
“Why didn’t we get alerted for it?”
“Mr. Stark has installed a muting mechanism that becomes active during sexual intercourse.”
You rolled your eyes as Bucky snickered, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap. “So that means is we can get her to shut up if we keep fucking?” he questioned, hands gliding up and down the length of your back.
You groaned. “No, I need some food in my system. I’m just a little ol’ human, if you’ve forgotten.”
A huff left his lips. “Fine. But I’m fucking you in the kitchen as soon as you’re done.” He tightened his grip on you and scooted off of the bed, carrying you in his arms as he made his way downstairs.
Tags: @joseyrw, @raindrcpsangel, @foggyempathfireperson, @scxrletrecsmarvel, @fandoms-writings
Smut - Explicit content - NSFW - 18+ only!
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Another blow to your confidence tips you over the edge when a guy ditches you. Bucky is determined to show you that you derserve so much better.
Warnings: Smut (NSFW) - 18+ ONLY - oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk, pet names, language, alcohol use, negative self image, general filth
More of this story than I would like to admit is based on real experience, at least all the crappy stuff. Alcohol was involved while writing. I suck at spelling & grammar but correct things as I find them. Hope you enjoy the results of my shitty evening.
Well this felt really pathetic. If you started crying could this count as a temper tantrum not a breakdown? You didn't really get stood up or dumped. Your friends with benefits bailed on you... Again.
You weren't mad. He had given you good reasons. Granted you had no idea if they were true or not, but if they were they were reasons you would have cited too.
You were diaappointed though. You had pretty much given up on dating, it seemed the only guys who were ever interested were nut jobs or people you would have to be paid to touch, & you didn't do one night stands. They just didn't feel safe. So this had been your last chance to get laid for a few months. You had also passed up the chance to go to a Rangers game to meet up with your FWB.
You sat waiting for your to-go order running through the options in your head, quickly realizing your best option was once again your vibrator. You inwardly sighed as you threw down the rest of your gin & tonic way too fast. You realized you were actually sick of fucking yourself, the thought of another night with your own hand & even your favorite toy made you groan, & not in a good way.
The waiter dropped your bag next to you & you paid for your drink. You tipped an extra dollar since he was nice enough to ignore that you probably looked like you were about to cry when you had ordered it.
As you were pulling a couple ones out of your wallet a cute-ish seeming guy came in by himself. Clearly from out of town with a slight European accent. You figured what the hell? & said hi pulling out your flirty yet coy smile. He totally ignored you.
Well that was close enough to 3 strikes you're out. You tilted your glass as far back as you could, hoping for even the tiniest amount of gin, & grabbed you bag of food. You headed back to the tower with your tail tucked between your legs, pity tears pickling at your eyes, & your new lingerie you had bought just because feeling like it was an irritant on your skin.
At least it was windy. You could play off the stray tear as being caused by that or picking at your mascara. Your only stop was a drugstore where you grabbed a bottle of wine.
As you stepped into the elevator you opened the twist top on the glass bottle & let the first couple real tears fall. All your life you had never felt good enough, pretty enough. You were never anyone's first choice. Now you weren't even good enough to just screw & leave.
You didn't think you were asking a lot, you really didn't care if this ever became anything beyond sex. But for the first time in your life, at nearly 32, you were finally having good sex. The thought of going another 4 years, your longest dry spell, untouched made you want to throw yourself off the roof.
Thank God the elevator doors opened & pulled you from your own destructive thoughts. There was no one in the living room or the kitchen & it was basically silent, because of course it was. It was a Friday night & everyone had their own things to do. So you wandered into the kitchen grabbed a fork from the utensil drawer & the new pack of AA batteries from the junk drawer.
Sinking into the couch you displayed your sad little picnic on the coffee table in front of you. Burger & fries, screw top wine bottle already part way empty, & batteries that were now your date for the night. You collapsed forward onto your own thighs letting your arms wirelessly drape over so your knuckles brushed the floor & sighed in complete defeat before muttering a "just kill me" into your leggings.
Sure you wanted a relationship, not necessarily with your FWB, but you were also very aware that beggers can't be choosers. You were a begger & you always had been, which is why you were where you were now. Horny, a little drunk, & on the verge of tears.
"But what if I kinda like having you around?" A deep but light hearted voice answered you softly from the hallway. Clearly trying not to startle you. Ending his statement with a chuckle, seemingly to apologize for eavesdropping.
With a groan you lifted your upper body back up to a seated position before flopping back into back of the couch. Looking up at the man who had spoke you felt your heart lift slightly. You should have guessed Bucky would be there. He wssn't a big fan of going out on the weekends, there were too many people out.
He cautiously moved forward, not 100% sure if he was welcome or not. You noticed his hesitancy & moved a few inches to your right signalling it was fine to join you. To reinforce your comfort with him joining you you told him "sorry Buck, if I knew you were here I would have gotten you food, but you can have mine if you want. I'm not that hungry anymore. Just don't touch my wine."
You forced a small laugh past your lips & tried not to come off too sad. As he sat down next to you, Bucky wasn't buying it. He could see the pain in your eyes. He wanted you to tell him what was wrong. He wanted you to tell him everything.
He knew you had plans tonight with that guy, the one that he really didn't like, but now you were here with tears in your eyes. He wanted to punch him for putting that look on your face. You had told Bucky you had no intention of getting serious with this guy, that you were friends from forever ago, that it just made you feel good someone was actually interested in you that way. You said you were so sick of dating & heartbreak, you just wanted to have fun. Well you didn't look like you were having much fun, & it didn't look like you felt particularly good. That tore him up inside.
You curled your legs up underneath you & pulled the blanket off the back of the couch onto your shoulders. You tried to ignore the way Bucky kept glancing at you as he picked at the fries. Every couple minutes he would hold one out to you & you would accept it. Eventually you softened enough that you finally said with a little bit of a shaky breath "he bailed on me at the last minute, again."
All Bucky could do was nod in understanding & turn to look at you. You were still staring at your hands, tears sparkling at the corners of your eyes. Finally letting them fall as you spoke again.
"I'm now consistently getting blown off by my friend with benefits. I can't even keep a guy interested when the only thing I'm asking him for is sex. How pathetic is that? I'm not even good enough to just be a regular fuck buddy for someone I guess."
You choked back a small sob. It wasn't about that particular guy, it was about all of them. How they had all beaten you down & made you feel worthless.
You had confided in Bucky one night after a particularly terrible date how you hadn't even gone on a date until college. That you had spent so much time watching all the other girls in high school get asked on dates, go to dances, & fall in love. While you were left to wonder what was so wrong with you. It's a wonder you had managed to lose your virginity at 19. Especially considering only one other guy had even so much as kissed you before that.
You had spent all your life being the girl who felt passed over, so when the opportunity of having a friend with benefits opened up you jumped at it. Not that you were overly attracted to the guy, which in a sex only relationship was a good thing, but you felt desired & that felt great. It was also the best sex, & really the only good sex, you'd ever had. So you put up with all the little inequalities & things.
Bucky wanted to grab you & hold you. Tell you how much time he spent thinking about you. Wanting you. How you deserved so much more. How he wanted to spend the rest of his life trying to give that to you.
The straw the finally broke the camel's back was when you stood up to go to your room. The wine bottle now mostly empty but most of the food still untouched. You shrugged off the blanket as you got up & started to wiggle your shoulders & reach back behind you with Bucky watching on in confusion.
"You wanna know the really pathetic thing? If it weren't for the fact that he's the only guy who's ever made me cum I don't think I'd put up with it... Or spend the money. There's $75 I'm never gonna see again." You chuckled in absurdity as you pulled your bra out through your sleeve & let the metallic maroon lace dangle from your fingers.
You said goodnight & shuffled away to your room dragging the see through bra behind you, leaving Bucky a jumble of emotions. On one hand he genuinely cared for you. In truth he was head over heels for you, & he didn't want to leave you feeling so down on yourself. You were kind, & smart, & funny, & my god you were so sexy.
He was also furious that not only had all these other guys treated you so badly, apparently they couldn't even mange to please you either. You were overdo probably at least a couple thousand orgasms & Bucky would happily give his right arm to be the one to remedy that.
Between your admission that none of your worthless ex's could make you cum & pulling your bra off like some dirty magic trick Bucky was also now really turned on. He didn't want to seem like he was taking advantage of you, especially since he really wanted you to be his girl, but he wanted you so bad right now. He looked at the table trying to formulate what to do.
The batteries. You had probably meant to take them with you. He could bring them to you. Although if his plan didn't work & he had to listen to you play with yourself with that fucking toy tonight thru the wall he might just explode. His hand lingered over the packet, it was now or never.
Before he could second guess himself he snatched the packet & quickly walked down the hall to your door. Knocking on the door before his brain could register the sound of the shower from the other side. He cringed as he heard you sniffle fumbling toward the door, cursing as you tripped over something before opening it
"Sorry for interrupting. You... You forgot these." He extended his vibranium hand & you noticed the batteries. Truth be told you had forgotten about them completely. You had been wrapped up in thinking about the man that now stood in front of you. You adored Bucky, but you didn't want to jeopardize your friendship when you were sure he didn't feel the same way. Secretly you dreamed of him whisking you off your feet like your very own Prince Charming, but you wouldn't take the risk of losing him completely.
Now here you were, with your dream guy standing at your door. In your grungy sweatshirt, fancy new very tiny lace panties, & mascara tinted tears on your face. You moved back from the door & sat on the edge of your bed pulling your hands into your sleeves & staring at your fingers. You let the dark thoughts take over.
"Thanks you can just throw them on my nightstand. Umm.... Can I ask you a question Buck? As a guy... What's wrong with me? Why am I so unwantable? What makes me so unsexy? It's not even about him, I just..."
You finally broke. Dissolving into sobs completely forgetting the shower running. You held one hand to your face, trying to hide, & wrapped your other right around your waist.
Bucky's heart shattered & he scrambled into the room shutting the door behind him. Dropping to kneel in front of you, sliding your legs apart to slot himself between them without even thinking. He grabbed your hands away from your body & cradled your face in his hands. Quietly shushing you & kissing the tears away from your cheeks. Trying his best to soothe & calm you.
"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me sweetheart. There is not a god damn thing wrong with you, y/n. It's all those fucking guys that have something wrong with them. Okay? I wish I knew what to tell you to make you believe this, but you are so fucking sexy & incredible. Any guy that doesn't spend every moment of everyday wanting you is insane or stupid. I can't stand to hear you talk like this, watch you feel like this. I wish you could see what I see."
He pulled you flush to his chest & let you wrap your arms tight around his neck, fingernails digging into his shoulders. He let you heave & squeak out a few more sobs into his neck, complete with several hiccups & hurried anxious breaths. He rocked you side to side, gently kissed your head, & tried to hold back his own tears. His heart ached for you, to love you, & he had let you down by even letting you feel this way in the first place.
Your breathing slowly leveled out & your arms released their death grip. Bucky let you pull back from his chest & pressed his forehead to your's. Your eyes puffy & your cheeks red. He had to tell you how he loved you. He had to show you how amazing & beautiful you were. Hopefully you would let him. Even if it was only for the night, he was determined to make you feel like the goddess you were to him.
Your soft sniffles continued & your eyes were still closed, but the tears had now subsided. He let his hands slide from your waist to the outside of your thighs rubbing his thumbs up & down against your soft skin. He suddenly became aware that he was on his knees between your bare legs, a place he thought he would only dream of ever getting to be. He started to speak & he knew there was no stopping.
"Listen I know that you are in a bad frame of mind right now, & I need you to know that I would never take advantage of you. If you tell me to leave I will. Just say the word. But... I want you to know that I mean every word okay? You are the sexiest woman in the world & you drive me absolutely insane. You have no idea how bad I want you. All you have to do is smile at me & I turn to goo. You can be dressed up or in this ratty sweatshirt & all I want to do is take you to bed & worship you. When you pulled that trick with your bra out there, oh my god, I nearly passed out with how fast my blood left my brain."
That statement made you giggle. It was only then that you realized you were holding your breath. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. This couldn't be happening. It was too perfect. You let your hands rest on the back of his neck & play with his short chestnut brown hair. The muscles of your stomach clenched & your heart jumped when his fingertips pressed into your hips just below the thin waistband of your panties.
"It's not just physically either. I mean you are fucking gorgeous but God I love all of you so much, y/n. Your sense of humor, the way you think, the way you get along with everyone. I can't believe I'm actually telling you this, but I love you & I have loved you for so long. It has killed me watching you be with all those idiots. The fact that they made you feel this way, & didn't even put your pleasure first, makes me want to rip them limb from limb. You deserve so much better than them, you deserve so much better than me. You deserve the entire fucking universe at your feet. Right now I don't care if I'm making the biggest mistake ever & if you never want to even look at me after this, but please even just for the night, let me show you how much I love you & how incredible you are. Please just let me make love to you. Let me make you feel good. Let me try to give you what you deserve."
Your eyes had opened at some point during his confession & you were now staring deep into his gentle blue eyes. You bit your bottom lip as you gazed at him looking for any hint of hesitation or lies. You found none.
"Please y/n, just say something. You're killing me here." He pleaded, trying to steal his feelings. Now fearing the worst.
You moved your face just a little bit closer to his & began to pull his body into you. "Yes please Bucky. Make love to me."
Your mouths finally met in a soft but passionate kiss. His plump lips running over yours slowly caressing your skin. His tongue slow slid against your bottom lip asking to deepen the kiss, to let him in. You quickly obliged & he began to massage your tongue with his.
As you pulled apart you both panted out of breath. Pressing light kisses on each other & nuzzling your faces together it was your turn to confess.
"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I love you too Buck. I just thought there was no way you could love me."
He moved his hands to grip your ass & yanked you forward on the mattress. Groaning as he felt your bare ass cheeks separate by the delicate lace g-string. "I'm gonna spend all night showing you how much I love you, y/n. I'm gonna make you cum so many times you will forget anyone else exists."
He smashed his lips to yours & began clawing at the plush flesh of your hips. He pulled your sweatshirt over your head leaving you in just your panties. He dropped his gaze to look down at your body & inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of your warm body & your now apparent arousal for him. The sound of him making you nipples stiffen in anticipation.
Bucky began placing hungry open mouthed kisses up & down your neck & throat as you wrapped your legs around his waist making his hips start to grind against you. You could feel his large hard bulge through the rough material of his jeans & the feeling of it only spurred you on. Your hands scraping up his side's to pull his shirt off.
"You are so sexy Bucky." You marveled at his body as you ran your hands up & down his chest. He smiled & sweetly kissed your lips.
"You're sexier baby. Now, since you've already got the shower running, why don't we go clean up before we run out of hot water. Plus if we keep going like this I'm gonna rip these tiny fucking panties right off of you, & if I remember right you said they weren't cheap."
Moaning at his suggestion you looked at him through lust heavy eyelids, now blissfully unaware of your smudged makeup. You nodded enthusiastically & squeaked in surprise as he effortlessly hoisted you up off the mattress, his hands under your thighs & carried you into the bathroom that was now clouded with steam.
He gently lowered you to your feet. Taking his time as his hands caressed slowly up your body. He looked at you like you were a precious piece of art. Your mouth fell open & you stood speechless at the man before you who in a single moment in a single touch had nurtured your heart, your mind, & your body in a way no one ever had.
He softly pressed his lips to yours as he pulled your hair loose & brushed it back. He started making his way down your body. Pressing kiss after kiss to your skin that was now buzzing like a live wire.
First he kissed your neck & whispered in your ear how beautiful you were. Then your collarbone, the top of each breast & between them. He let his lips ghost over your nipples without providing direct stimulation. He chuckled as you whined in protest & tried to angle a nipple back towards his mouth.
He pressed his face to the center of your ribcage & gently scolded you, "not just yet babydoll. I wanna take my time with you." Once he had reached your hips he kissed the top of each hipbine before placed a kiss right onto your mound over your panties.
Hooking his thumb under each side strap he gazed up & you for permission to take them off. You let your hands thread through his hair & whispered "please Buck".
He gave you a lopsided slightly goofy grin & said "as incredibly sexy as these are doll, & I definitely want to see you in the whole set sometime, I think you will be fucking delicious with them off." With that he slowly slid them down your legs, pausing momentarily as the wet fabric separated from your slick pussy. A groan was pulled deep from somewhere in his chest as he got his first good view of your sex. You were soaked.
"So wet doll. Can't wait to taste you later. All this really for me?" He inhaled your sweet scent & had to fight the urge to devour you right then & there. He dropped your panties to the floor & you stepped out of them as he stood back up bringing his hand to pop the button & pull down the fly of his jeans.
You took his hands & moved them to your waist before taking over where he had left off. Sliding your hands inside the denim fabric at his sides & catching your thumb in the waistband of his boxer briefs you tilted your head up & whispered into his throat. "All for you Buck. Just for you."
Placing a wet sucking kiss on his Adam's apple as you pushed the fabric of both layers down his muscular frame. Feeling the resistance of his hard cock against the elastic band of his underwear, you dropped your head down to see him as he sprung free. You both gasped in unison, him at the delicious bit of friction & you at the magnificent sight of him bare before you.
Dragging your fingers across his low belly you let yourself run your hand along the underside of his thick cock before stroking him up & down several times. As if reading your mind he leaned down to whisper in your ear "All for you babydoll. All because of you." & placed a kiss on the sweet spot under your lobe.
Relishing each other's touch for a moment longer you stood on the balls of your feet & sunk into his kiss once more. As an anxious as you were for him to take you straight to bed you did want to wash the lingering stress from your body. So you reluctantly pulled apart & stepped into the shower under the warm water with Bucky's firm body pressed up behind you.
Between the heat of the water & the comfort of Bucky's arms around you, your muscles melted & you immediately felt even better. You grabbed your face wash & proceeded to scrub the remainder of ruined makeup for your eyes & cheeks.
Bucky's lips had yet to stop dragging along the skin of your neck, shoulders, & upper back. One flesh palm & one vibranium held tight against the curve of your soft stomach. If this was any other man you would cringe & move his hands away from your most insecure spot, but with Bucky it felt right. You extended your arms backwards to give his thighs a squeeze, telling him to soften his grasp momentarily so could reach to grab the body wash.
He gladly obliged & grabbed the bottle from your delicate fingers. He deftly flipped the cap & squirted a line of gel down the center of your torso. Your hands met & spread the slick substance over your frame in tandem. The heady scent of berries, patchouli, rose, & amber quickly enveloped you both adding to the eroticism.
His large hands groped & kneaded your breasts. For the first time his fingers began to toy with your nipples. Swirling the pads of his fingers around them before gently pinching them. The sweet sudden pressure caused your hips to buck back grinding your ass against him. His now leaking head making contact with your low back & his shaft sliding between your cheeks.
The touch of him so needy against you sparked a flame in your chest & you spun around in his arms to face him. You spent several more minutes running the fragrant suds over each other, seemingly trying to memorize the curves & planes of each other's bodies. Lips locked in heated contact.
It was you who reached the end of your rope first, pulling him under the stream to rinse you both as you began to beg him for more.
"Please James, I can't wait any longer. I need you to fuck me."
Between hearing you call him by his real name, & your desperate plea for him, his own resolve snapped. Quickly turning off the water & grabbing a towel to hurriedly dry you both. He picked you up once more, your legs wrapping around him & your dripping cunt pressed to his abdomen, & he carried you to your bed.
He laid you down on the soft blankets like you were a priceless piece of porcelain & gingerly lowered his large frame to rest on top of you. Your legs spreading open to slot his body flush against you.
He let his weight balance on his vibranium forearm & ran his flesh fingers over the curves of your right side. Cutting across the crease of your hip he stopped just short of where you body was screaming for his touch. He locked eyes with you one more time to confirm that you still wanted this. That you still wanted him. As if there was any stopping the cascade of need for each other that had been set in motion.
You brushed your thumb across his cheek & grinned with a single nod. With that his fingers finally slid past your mound & down to caress the supple wet lips of your pussy. Initially ghosting over them with a single digit, but on feeling how drenched you were Bucky moaned a breathy "fuck" & pressed 3 fingers firmly to your slit.
The pressure he finally made against your cunt caused your back to arch & your eyes to snap shut. You legs pulled back farther to grant your soldier even better access to your sex & your hips were starting to rut against his fingertips. Bucky couldn't help but smile, never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought you would react like this to his touch.
He gently slid his long middle finger inside you as he brought his thumb to dance along the edges of your clit. He wanted to memorize every noise you made, from the whimpers coming from your plush lips to the wet suctioning against his finger each time it plunged back into you.
Without any warning he added his index finger to action, feeling your tight hole stretch to accommodate his second finger had his own control hanging by a thread. His vibranium hand gripping onto the pillow beneath your head.
"Fuck so tight babydoll." He praised under his breath as he bit his lower lip trying to keep focused on the pleasure he was wringing from you.
He quickly added his ring finger to his assault. Dragging all 3 three fingers in & out of your fluttering heat as he let his thumb draw more direct circles on your now throbbing clit. He could tell you were quickly hurtling towards the point of no return as he added a flick upwards in his wrist.
"Oh god Buck! Gonna cum, don't stop. Fuck yes James. Please don't stop!"
You now gazed slack jawed back into his sparkling blue eyes that were entirely focused on seeing you fall apart beneath him. Eyes that belonged to the sweetest man you had ever met, who was now responsible for the filthiest noises falling from your lips. You couldn't help but plead for him not to stop as your body began shaking & squeezing his fingers even tighter. Letting the wave of your orgasm crash against you.
You let him coax you back down slowly, stroking your hair with his metal finger tips as his flesh ones began to still inside you. Placing small kisses on your lips as fingers slipped from your wet depths, teasing along your now swollen sensitive pussy feeling how your orgasm had left you dripping. The thought that he was responsible for your wrecked state made a pride flourish in his chest.
Making sure you were watching his movements, he pulled his fingers to his mouth & took his time licking your juices from each one. It may only be his first real taste of you, but he knew right then that he would never get enough.
The sight of Bucky savoring the taste of your cunt on his fingers was almost too much to take. You felt empty & the only thing that could possibly make you feel full was Bucky's cock. You slid your hand down his sculpted abdomen & trailed a finger around his swollen leaking head working to spred his pre-cum around his ridge before closing your hand around his thick shaft & starting to pump him.
The feeling of him made your mouth water & your walls clench in anticipation. His cock was perfectly veined & silky to the touch. So solid & thick your fingers barely touched when wrapped around him. He began to needily thrust up into your fist when you added a twist at the end of each stroke. When he started to whimper you released his shaft & started to roll his balls between your fingers.
He eventually pulled your hands away from his cock & pinned them to the bed beside your head. He pressed his forehead to yours in between slow deep kisses as he tried to gather his composure. Panting as he looked at you laid out under him.
"I wanted to take my time with you doll, make you cum over & over before I let myself fuck you. Make you see stars with my fingers & my tongue, god so many times with my tongue, before I let you have my cock. But, fuck, you & this pretty little pussy are driving me nuts here. Don't think I can wait any longer."
You wrapped your legs around his hips & pulled his pelvis down to yours, managing to angle your hips just right so the tip of his cock was slotted just inside your opening.
"Then don't wait Bucky. Fuck me." Your expression softened for a moment, from one of passion to one of love, & you added, "wanna be your girl Buck."
Without a moment's hesitation he plunged his cock all the way inside of you. Eliciting a moan from both of you. Bracing & holding himself in place while your body adjusted to the stretch of him. While he waited he cupped your cheek with his left palm, the coolness of the vibranium a sharp contrast from the rest of his body.
"I've dreampt of hearing you say that. My girl."
Bucky placed one last sweet kiss on your lips before he started slowly thrusting in & out of you. Each push & pull dragging deliciously against your walls allowing you to feel every milimeter he gave you. Slowing all the more as the top of his cock head slid against your g-spot.
"Oh god Buck, you're so big. So fucking deep! Fuck me harder baby!"
You were gripping onto his shoulders, burying your face into his scar where his metal arm connected to his body. Making a conscious effort to place extra licks & kisses along the mared skin to show him how much you loved even the spot he sometimes hated.
"Yeah? You want it harder doll? Here I wanted to be all soft & sweet with you the first time. Should have known you were really a dirty little girl. Let me hear you baby. Tell me how my princess wants me to fuck her tight little pussy."
He punctuated his statement with a bite your neck & started thrusting harder into you, but he purposely kept his pace slow to let you get your words out. Even though he wanted to plow you into next week.
"Soft & sweet later James, right now I want it hard & fast. Been teasing me all night. Turning me into your little slut. You know what you're doing to me. Fuck me hard."
Bucky moaned loudly into your neck the moment he heard you call yourself his little slut. It took every ounce of strength he had not to cum right there. You were an absolute minx & he was the luckiest son of a bitch alive.
"Well if you're my little slut then why am I doing all the work?" He quickly rolled so you were on top of him & before you could react he brought his right hand to slap your ass.
"Now be a good little slut & ride my cock. Take what you want baby. Make yourself cum & let me watch. There's my good girl."
Bucky had been so incredible to you already, even though you knew your night was no where near over, you wanted to give him a good show. You sat up nice & straight as you started to bounce on him. Letting your breasts jiggle up & down as the sound of you ass hitting his thighs richoted around the room.
You rolled your hips forward & backward as you rode his cock creating an extra friction on your clit. When that friction started to build & throb you let your head drop back & your eyes squeeze closed. Your hips thrust faster & shallower as you chased your orgasm.
Little squeaks & grunts coming from your lips as you fucked yourself on Bucky's cock. Your body was thrown over the cliff's edge as you felt his hips buck up from underneath you & your weight fell forward onto his chest as you shuttered & wailed.
He kept fucking you through your orgasm, thrusting into you from below. Each time his tip brushed your sweet spot a new firework burst behind your eyelids. Your mewls & whines pushing him right to his edge & he was chanting "so close baby."
As you started to come down you wanted to feel him even closer. Knowing his orgasm was just around the corner you wrapped your arms under his neck & pressed your lips to his ear as you whispered "Cum in my pussy James. Want you to fill me up."
Something snapped in Bucky's brain when you said that. Something animal took over & he threw you hard on your back before frantically rutting into you like his very life depended on it. His face was pressed into your neck & his teeth clenched when you heard him growl as he came.
Feeling his thick warm cum fill you spray by spray you sighed in pleasure & wiggled your hips to milk even more from him. Cooing in his ear about how good it felt being full of his cum, & it did.
He slowly leaned back & pulled himself from your body much to your reluctance. Watching as his cum began to trickle from you. He grabbed his shirt off the floor from were you had thrown it earlier & quickly wiped you down. It wasn't the best job but it was good enough for now. He wanted to hold you for a bit before either of you did anything else.
He dropped the shirt back to the side & pulled you tight to his chest. He knew what you said about being his girl, but his mind kept telling him maybe you just said it in the heat of the moment. So as you snuggled into his chest eyes closed with a content smile he began to open & close his mouth like a fish gasping for air.
From your comfy spot you said with a chuckle "I smell the gears starting to smoke Buck. Stop worrying. I meant it. I wanna be your girl. It took you long enough to ask."
You lifted your head up & kissed him. Staring into his eyes once more. Both full of passion & boyish charm. He couldn't help but a sheepish shrug & replied "well, I thought you deserve better than me."
Tilting his chin up slightly with your index finger you answered, "James Buchanan Barnes, there is no one better for me than you. I love you Bucky."
A genuine smile crossed Bucky's face & after so long the feeling of being honestly happy & in love felt brand new again. It was a feeling he could get used to.
"I love you more, y/n."
A SWEET TREAT- STUCKY
Pairing: Roomates! Stucky x Fem! Reader
Word Count: 1.8k
Summary: while eating the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted, you teasingly confess to your roomates you’d let ben and jerry do anything they wanted to you. the next time you open the freezer, their names have been crossed out, and replaced with bucky and steves. be prepared for a treat much sweeter than ice cream...
Warnings: SMUT, threesum, blowjob, praise kink, degradation kink, petnames, masturbation mentioned, finger sucking & gagging, sub space, size kink/ belly bulge, small daddy kink, swearing, teasing, bucky speaking russian bc oh my god that needs its own warning
Notes: in honour of summer being near, i made this while eating some BOMB ass ice cream! if ur lactose intolerant, you arent in this fic, hop on the dairy train bb;)
As Steve dug in his pocket, pulling out the apartment key that jangled with the little heart-shaped keychain you had made him, he was not expecting to hear a loud moan come from the other side of the door.
It made him stop in his tracks, key halfway in the lock as he froze, eyes widening.
It was your moan.
He could recognise that sweet, high-pitched whine anywhere.
Whenever you thought he and Bucky were asleep, he could hear you moan into your pillow through the paper-thin walls, hand between your legs at an odd hour of the night. He never told you could hear you, knowing you’d be too embarrassed to do anything in the apartment again.
And that wouldn't work for Steve.
He craved those sweet noises like a drug, often slipping his hand down to stroke his cock in rhythm with your moans.
But it wasn't very late, and it wasn't far enough to be in the comfort of your bedroom. Was Bucky fucking you? He and Bucky had discussed it many times, often fantasying over you together, talking about every little way they’d fuck your gorgeous body, but was he seriously doing without him?
The thought of Bucky touching your pretty little body without him present had him slamming open the door at an alarming speed, handle banging into the wall hard enough to scratch the paint.
You jumped from the sound, stumbling back into the fridge with your ice cream in hand. Steve looked at you with a wild look in his eye, appearing to be searching for Bucky.
“Could you slam the door open any harder Stevie? The wall told me earlier today it wanted a massive hole in it.” you grumbled, attempting to catch your breath from the scare. Clutching the carton of ice cream tightly, you padded over to the couch just as Bucky stepped out from his room, hair still wet and dripping from his shower.
You gulped at the sight of his bare chest, abs gleaming in pretty shades of pink as the sunset spiled in through the windows. Sweatpants were slung low on his hips, a look of confusion on his face as he noted Steve shaking his head, shutting the door behind him as he slung off his shoes.
“You okay punk?” he asked softly, making his way to you on the couch, sliding your bare legs across his lap, watching with delight as the oversized shirt you wore of Steve’s slid up to reveal your thighs.
“Mhmm. Thought I heard something, that's all.”
You stopped mid-bite, realization hitting you like a freight train. Turning to face him, you quickly grabbed a pillow, throwing it with all your might at the blonde.
“Steven Grant Rogers! You came bursting through that door because you heard me moan?! You pervert!” you shrieked, making Bucky howl with laughter. “Hey you said it!” he grinned, grabbing the pillow and throwing it on the chair.
“You boys are gross. Let me enjoy my ice cream in peace.” you sighed, adjusting yourself so that Steve could sit with you and Bucky on the couch, resting your head on his knee. “Go ahead bunny. Stevie won't bother you anymore.” he grinned, eyes filled with delight as he raised his eyebrow at the blonde, patting your calf gently.
“Better not.” you grumbled, scooping out a chunk of cookie dough from the ice cream. “I’m not that gross. Just sometimes.” Steve smiled, his hand coming down to stroke your hair, watching your face confront in pleasure as you chewed the cookie dough.
“All guys are gross, you all got cooties.” you grumbled, mouth full, as you rolled your eyes. A little smack on your thigh made you yelp, Bucky's hand rubbing over the bare flesh where he hit you lightly.
“You take that back bunny!” he laughed, watching you attempting to kick his arm, with no success. “Never. Never ever.” you smiled, spooning more ice cream into your mouth.
The chocolate flavors melted on your tongue, the traces of brownie and cookie dough still lingering as you swallowed. “This is genuinely the best thing I’ve ever had in my entire life. Oh my god, I would let the people who made this do whatever they wanted to me.” you moaned, purring in delight as Steve’s fingers began to comb through your silky strands, scratching your scalp gently.
“Anything?” Bucky asked, eyebrow raised as he looked over at Steve.
“Anything.” you replied, too lost in the ice cream and the feelings of Bucky's hand stroking your soft skin to notice the look of amusement on each of their faces, wicked grins and winks being exchanged back and forth.
“I’m gonna hold that against you dolly.” Steve sang, making you laugh.
Oh, you were in for a treat. One much sweeter than that ice cream indeed.
“Didn’t I say I’d hold those words against you honey?” Steve asked softly, gripping your chin so you were forced to look into his baby blue eyes, the mock pity etched on his face as Bucky pounded into you from behind.
You were much too gone to speak, the snarky, quick-witted reply you had so desperately wanted to say back stuck in your throat. Only a low whimper had left your lips that were now shaped in an O-shape, eyes widened to saucers as Bucky gripped your hips even tighter.
Although you were at a loss for words now, you were beyond thankful you weren't on that couch, spilling your guts about every little position you’d let the ice cream company hit, teasingly.
The next time you had opened that same freezer, spoon in hand as you reached for your little carton, you froze.
No longer was it Ben and Jerry’s, but Bucky and Steve's name written in black sharpie.
“Oh my god, I would let the people who made this do whatever they wanted to me.” “Anything?” “Anything.”
You had shut the freezer with a soft slam, surprise written all over your face as Bucky and Steve strolled into the kitchen, grins evident on their faces as your arms limply fell to your sides.
That was how you had ended up here, in this position, one of many you had spilled to the boys. Bucky pounding into you from behind, Steve's hands teasing you until you cried.
“There's no point in talkin to her punk she's a goner.” Bucky chuckled, his thrusts making you cry out, your eyes beginning to glaze over from the stimulation he was giving you.
He growled as you clenched around him, your toes curling from the way his cock prodded your g-spot, the way you could feel him bulging through your belly.
“Oh don’t be so rough with our doll Buck. She’s just a lil thing compared to us.” Steve warned, the bulging veins from the back of his hand stroking your cheek lightly as you inched forward with every one of Bucky's ministrations.
“S’tight I can’t help it.” he growled roughly, arm slipping under your stomach as your now shaking legs were unable to keep you up on all fours. “I gotcha bunny you just keep your eyes on Steve okay? Don’t want you passing out on us just yet.” he winked, laughing at your little ahs you let out with each movement.
“Stevie…” you trailed off in a daze, head becoming light and cloudy as you stared at the smiling man in front of you. “Yes honey I’m right here. Open up okay sweet girl?”
You nodded slowly, mouth opening wider as he slipped his two fingers inside, your tongue swirling around his digits with a strangled moan. “Ohhh she likes that. Keep doin that punk.” Bucky moaned, feeling you clench tighter around him the further back Steve's fingers went.
Suddenly, his large fingers hit the back of your throat, making you cry out as you choked around him. “Shhh, I’m preparing you sweetheart. Something someone should have done before they started rutting into you like a bitch in heat.” Steve narrowed his eyes up on Bucky, in to which Bucky just shrugged as if to say oh well.
You whined as he slid his fingers out, wrapping his tongue around them and sucking your saliva clean off them with a boyish grin.
“Okay doll you ready?” he asked gently, beginning to gather your hair in a makeshift ponytail. The same hair he was stroking and playing with, so innocently as you ate your ice cream.
Oh how the table have turned indeed.
“Course she's ready, little bunny wants to be filled from both ends.” Bucky smirked, thrusting into hard and rough as you nodded in agreement, staring up at Steve as he now towered over you. “Is that right baby?”
“Yes daddy.” you whispered hoarsely, sticking your tongue out in obedience.
“Oh fuck…” Steve moaned, bringing his hard, aching cock to your lips. You lapped at the precum that coated the tip, moaning as he yanked your hair so you were forced to meet his eyes.
“Eyes on me. Got it?”
You nodded, purely dumbfounded. A sharp thrust from behind had you keening, and you wrapped your lips around Steve's cock, hollowing your cheeks as you took him down your throat.
Fresh tears stained your flushed cheeks as Bucky slapped your ass harshly, Steve’s control of your head making you take him deeper and deeper. You moaned, the vibrations around his cock making him growl as he began to fuck your throat in perfect harmony with Bucky.
The sight of Steve's head thrown back in pleasure, his adams apple bobbing as you pleasured him made your core tingle, flames licking down your spine as you felt release in an arms reach.
“такой милый кролик…” Bucky moaned, his own orgasm approaching as you gripped him tightly. “Buck she's gonna cum.” Steve whispered, frantic eyes meeting your own, your tears and hiccups turning them on even more.
“I know… can feel her squeezin the life outta me.” he replied with a grunt. “Let go, sweetheart, we’re right here with you.” Steve cooed softly.
Those were the words you needed to hear.
The coil in your belly snapped, your vision turning white as you came all over Bucky's cock. The sensations were overwhelming, each muscle, bone and blood cell consumed with pure pleasure as the men continued to use you, riding you through your orgasm.
“Oh godddd-” Bucky moaned, hips stilling as he spilled inside you, his cream coating your spongy walls as you shook from under him. Steve followed suit, his cum trickling down your throat, the taste bitter yet sweet as you swallowed every last drop he gave you, his sweet praises encouraging you to lick him clean.
“Such a good girl sweetheart, we’re so proud of you.” he smiled, slowly pulling his cock out of your mouth, watching you sputter for breath.
“You are?” you croaked, sniffling as your arms could no longer support you either. “Yes bunny we’re so proud of you. But we’re not done just yet.” Bucky smiled, his hands slowly guiding you upwards on your knees, his cock still firmly inside your weeping hole.
The look he gave Steve had you whimpering, the light in his eye meaning there could only be trouble brewing in that filthy mind of his.
Wait a damn min—
Summary: You broke up with Bucky right before college to pursue your career goals across the country. You didn’t think the first time you’d see him again years later would be in your office after he was arrested for a crime you know he didn’t commit.
Pairing: Beefy ex!Bucky x lawyer!reader
Warnings: 18+ only, smut, unprotected slightly rough possessive sex, so much fluff, exes to lovers, touch of angst with a definite happy ending, some criminal procedure, mentions of a drug, sketchy police behavior, alcohol, swearing, beefy!bucky (he always needs a warning).
Word Count: 8.7k
Like, comment, and/or reblog to put a giant smile on my face ♡
You met Bucky Barnes for the first time when you were eleven years old. You started middle school in Brooklyn halfway through the year, and he immediately took a liking to you. He walked you to all the classes you had together, always let you cut him in line for food at lunch if you wanted, and he and his best friend Steve Rogers made sure no one bullied you since you were the new kid.
It was apparent to everyone that he had a crush on you, but back then you thought boys were gross, rightfully so, and you made sure he knew that. He respected that and offered you his friendship in response.
Both he and Steve were the greatest friends a gal could have. The pair helped you acclimate to your new home, and you knew it wouldn’t have been as smooth of a transition without them.
However, things changed when you got to high school — boys were no longer gross, and you started to see your dark-haired friend in a different light. His sweet chivalrous nature no longer annoyed you, instead it made you swoon. You felt crazy, but you finally let him in on your crush when you asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance. He said yes, and admitted that he was hoping you would ask him.
It turns out your crush wasn’t one-sided, he secretly liked you for years. Steve claimed he knew that it was only a matter of time before you both finally got together.
You fell in love with him when you were 15, and you dated all throughout high school. He was the sweetest boyfriend and both of your families loved the two of you together. Everyone knew you two were it for each other, but your parents still warned you to be careful because they knew about the big plans you had for your future.
He proposed to you the summer before you left for college and everything in your heart wanted to say yes because you had never known a love like his. His adoration was all consuming, but you were afraid of what it could do to your goals. You knew you were going to California to attend your dream school, then law school after that.
You had plans, and a love like that was never a part of them. Letting go of Bucky was the hardest thing you ever had to do because it didn’t end due to anyone’s fault. No, you loved him with all that you were, but you had to let him go to become all that you wanted to be.
You went off to school on the other side of the country and tried to forget about the boy that held your heart. Over time, it became a little easier to forget all the memories you shared, but his hold on your heart, well that always remained.
You distracted yourself with other guys, but nobody ever felt right. You wondered if you romanticized the past, and that was why all other men paled in comparison to your first love. There had to be a logical explanation for why you had never found another love as sweet and pure, but you knew it was because you had never met anyone like Bucky.
After nearly eight years away you were offered a high paying job back in your hometown. Your old friend Steve was even a lawyer there. You didn’t tell anyone that you applied for the job and were extensively interviewed to get it, mainly because you didn’t want to explain your reasoning for wanting the position in the first place.
Coming back home felt like the right move for you. You had experienced so much, and you were ready to settle down near your family again, maybe near old friends too. After all, you always felt like a piece of you stayed behind in Brooklyn.
That was three months ago, and in that time you had made a name for yourself as a strong criminal defense attorney. You also knew now that you were back in Brooklyn you might eventually run into Bucky, and that thought made you anxious for a multitude of reasons. There was no denying you had hurt him, and that you were wrong for doing so.
However, you didn’t think the first time you’d see him after all these years would be in your law office’s conference room for your nine a.m. meeting. He sat there looking forlorn and defeated staring at the table. Perhaps he was tagging along with a potential client?
The sight of him washed memories of simpler times over you, but before you could reminisce, Steve called out your name.
“Hey Y/N you’re just in time, Bucky was arrested last night. They found cocaine in his auto shop. Sorry, I didn’t have the time to brief you, I had to bail him out early this morning, and it’s all been quite the nightmare.”
Your heart stopped. Bucky was arrested? There’s no way any of that could be true.
You turned around so Bucky couldn’t see you through the glass walls. “Wait, Steve, there has to be a mistake. He wouldn’t… there’s no way. And are you sure I should go in there? It seems like you have this um handled?” You rambled out because you were not ready to face him, especially not in these circumstances.
“I added this to your schedule because honestly Y/N, I need your help. You know him, you know he’s not capable of something like this, and you’re one of the best defenders we have. I could really use your help here because it’s not looking good for him.”
“Someone credible tipped off the police last night that Bucky was involved with drug trafficking, and that his auto shop was his base of operations. When the police got there, Bucky was finishing up on a car and they showed him a warrant to search the premises. They brought drug sniffing dogs and everything. Somehow they found enough drugs locked in one of his cars to charge him with a felony, so they arrested him on site. It was weird, Buck said it seemed like they knew exactly where the drugs were located beforehand.”
You could not believe what you were hearing. This was a lot to get thrown into. “Steve, of course I want to help but he and I have history. We haven’t spoken in a long time, and I don’t know if it’s such a good idea that this be the first time we reconnect.”
“Don’t you think I know that? He’s my best friend. This is an all hands on deck kind of situation. Obviously, I can’t force you to help, but if you could help keep him out of jail, wouldn’t you want to?”
Steve knew how to make an argument — you couldn’t get out of this one. You nodded your head, “Yes, of course, you’re right. Lead the way.”
You followed him into the conference room to meet the one you left behind all those years ago. He didn’t notice the two of you walk in, too caught up in his own thoughts, and that gave you the opportunity to take a good look at him.
Bucky had grown up, or more specifically, he became a man. He sat there taking up the small chair with his broad shoulders and muscular body; somehow he grew up even more attractive than you had imagined. He also rocked a short scruffy beard, a stark contrast from the teenager who couldn’t grow a moustache. He changed tremendously yet still felt all too familiar and the sight of him so close to you made your heart race.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, pal. I had to get all the right information on the charges. I know you remember Y/N, she’ll be working on the case alongside me,” Steve said.
Bucky lit up when he heard your name, but when he saw you he didn’t know what the hell he should do. He didn’t think standing up and shaking your hand was the right move and he couldn’t fathom coming around and hugging you — not when he felt like crap and looked so rough after spending the night in jail.
You experienced a different apprehension and uncertainty because you didn’t know how he felt about you after all this time. Did he hate me or was he annoyed to see me on his case? Opting to avoid the issue altogether you wrapped your arms around your padfolio and walked towards the chair on the opposite side of the table. “Hi, Bucky,” you said as confidently as you could.
He tried to mirror your professional demeanor but he couldn’t help but crack a soft grin when you said his name, “Hi, Y/N.” God, I missed her.
You smiled at your first love and childhood friend. He returned the smile sincerely, a striking difference from the gloomy look he had before you walked into the room.
Steve interjected, unintentionally breaking the little trance you had fallen under with Bucky. “Okay man, I’m gonna give it to you straight. They seized enough drugs to put you away for at least a couple years. Our best move now is to come up with alternative grounds for why the drugs were there, like maybe someone planted them. They were found inside one of your personal vehicles inside your property, so that makes it more difficult, but can you think of anyone that would want to frame you?”
Bucky forgot Steve existed for a minute, barely listening to him speak. He was still caught up in the fact that you were there, looking so enchanting. She’s so lovely, she grew up so beautifully.
Steve cleared his throat to regain Bucky’s attention and heat immediately rushed to your cheeks as you shyly looked away from your ex’s intense gaze. Was he checking me out?
Quietly chuckling to himself, “You haven’t even asked if I did it, Stevie.”
Steve huffed out a breath, “I know I don’t have to.”
Bucky shook his head, his best friend’s loyalty was unyielding. “I have no idea why anyone would want to do this. I run a clean and simple business.”
“Do you have any enemies or maybe rival businesses that would want to hurt you?” you asked, hoping to get a better understanding.
His heart beat a little faster, hearing your honeyed voice again. Get it together, Bucky. She’s trying to help your case.
After a moment of contemplation, “Well I know John Walker, another mechanic, has a shop he opened up that hasn't been doing well. I’ve even heard that he took out a big loan with the mob, but I don’t know if that’s true. His business has been slow while I just opened up another garage because of demand,” he said while staring at the table. He couldn’t bring himself to look at you for too long, the last few hours had been exhausting, and adding you to the mix made him feel overwhelmed.
“Buck, that could very well be the motive for planting the drugs. If he knocked out the top competitor in the area then he’d be able to improve his business.” Steve said determinedly.
“Yeah B, that should give us a good start. Do you have cameras at your shop?” you asked, not noticing the nickname roll off your tongue.
Bucky blinked in surprise, he noticed. “Yeah, the police already took that but my system backs up the recordings online. I’ll give you guys the login.”
“Okay great, I doubt they’re looking through the camera recordings that intently since they already have all the evidence they need against you. That’s what Y/N and I will do today. Why don’t you take my car and head home, get some sleep,” Steve suggested.
“You’ve been up just as long as me, why don’t we both go.”
Before Steve could deny the idea, you chimed in. “That’s a great idea, Steve. Why don’t you go home and freshen up, maybe get a nap in. In the meantime I’ll look through the camera feed. I know we need to be quick about this, but you could use a little rest.”
Steve looked at you with furrowed brows and a disapproving frown, “It’s Bucky, Y/N. I need to be here for this, I didn’t ask you to come in to take over.”
“You look like a zombie, you’ll be better able to help after you get some sleep. Leave all your files and information, I’ll clear my schedule for the day so that I can work on just this. I’ll also make a couple calls to see where the prosecution is in the process.”
Bucky was astonished by your willingness to help. “You don’t have to do that, Y/N.”
“I know you didn’t do this, Buck. You guys head out, I’ll call Steve if I make any developments.”
Steve sighed deeply, he knew you were right and he trusted you to stay on top of things. “Fine, but I’ll be back this afternoon.”
“I figured as much.”
With that the two of them left, Bucky gave you an awkward head nod and a bashful smile on his way out.
“Damnit Steve, a bit of a warning would have been nice,” Bucky groaned dramatically.
“At what point in this hectic situation would you have liked that warning? Also what good would it have done? You had enough on your plate, I didn’t need you to be anxious over seeing Y/N.”
“Better to blindside me with the one that got away then,” he scoffed as he got in Steve’s car.
“Are you kidding me? It’s been years, pal. You’ve dated plenty, and aren’t you seeing someone now?” Steve asked in disbelief as he pulled on his seatbelt.
“Dating and loving are different, and no I’m not seeing anyone. Probably for the best, ’m not sure who’d be lining up to be with a criminal anyway,” he muttered.
“You haven’t committed a crime, and you haven’t been found guilty — you’re not a criminal.”
“For now,” he whispered as he looked out the window.
You logged onto Bucky’s security system account and tried to watch the tapes of the night of the search. Weirdly, the camera glitched during the afternoon, and there were no recordings during the drug bust. Taking note of that for later, you went back to the videos taken two weeks prior. You knew it was likely that any person that might have done this would have scoped out the shop beforehand.
It seemed like everyone that came in and out of the area that the drugs were found in were Bucky’s employees. Their clothes had Barnes Auto written on it with the shop’s old school insignia. The only person that came in the area without the proper attire was a pretty dark-haired woman.
Two weeks ago you saw her come in and out of Bucky’s office a great deal. On top of that, she constantly, almost purposefully, crossed the area where his car was located. The recordings also showed her walking out of the garage awfully close to Bucky, and you would be lying if you said the sight didn’t sting a little.
You knew you had no claim over the man, not in the slightest, but that didn’t take the dull ache in your heart away. Especially not after seeing him for the first time in so long, looking as handsome as he did.
Opting to forget about that and focus on your task, you soon realized that the woman did not return once in the last week. She was the only one that seemed out of the ordinary in the specified area. Maybe she had something to do with this?
You wondered if your suspicions had anything to do with the tinge of jealousy you felt when you saw them together. However, you had a hunch, and you knew those were rarely wrong. You texted Steve to ask Bucky about the woman — the timing of it all was questionable and worth looking into.
Next you started to ponder how the police were tipped off. You couldn’t figure out what reliable source would implicate Bucky and know exactly where the drugs were located. It would take a legitimate cause for a judge to issue a search warrant; unless it wasn’t a valid warrant in the first place.
Before you could get into it too deeply, Steve returned looking clean and a little bit better. You didn’t realize it, but it was afternoon and you had been working for hours. He brought you a late lunch, and sat down so that you could fill him in on your findings.
“So you think Olivia had something to do with this? Buck said she left him a week ago. He didn’t get into the details too much, but apparently it wasn’t a good match.”
“Don’t you think that’s weird, the um her leaving in the last week of all times and the missing tapes? Not them being a bad match.” you asked as casually as you could, hiding any feelings you might have about Bucky’s dating situation.
Steve noticed your sly attempt and decided to mess with you a little. “No, he’s had a big turnover rate lately. She was probably another one of many vying for the spot to be next to him, but you saw the other videos and you think it’s odd. I trust your judgement, so what’s our move?”
You couldn’t help but feel jealous over hearing about Bucky’s plentiful dating life, but you knew that was ridiculous. You broke it off long ago, you had to let it go.
You shrugged it all off, “I think we should find Olivia and question her.” The thought of meeting Bucky’s former paramour felt less than great, but you knew it was necessary. “This is discovery time, let’s talk to some people. Personally, I want to hit up Walker’s place too.”
“Let’s give Buck a break on finding her, I know the way to his auto shop. Let’s head there first.”
You stood up with purpose, but then got a look at the wall clock. “Ah crap, look at the time. I know they close early today, so why don’t we go first thing in the morning? We can meet here then drive together,” you suggested.
Steve reluctantly nodded his head in agreement. “I hate not being able to do anything. But okay, yes that works.”
“At least we have a place to start. Do you want to look into the police reports some more and start compiling a case with me?
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep until we do.”
The more you read the evidence you had, the more it seemed like Bucky really did it.
Steve got upset after a while so he stepped out to take a walk and clear his head to come up with a new strategy.
It was frustrating, Officer Hoskins, who wrote one of the reports, claimed that Bucky was belligerent, aggressive, and evasive when they arrived at the shop. Nearly everything in the report was stacked against Bucky, and it vilified him in a way you couldn’t believe.
Before you could stand up to clear your head as well you saw Bucky saunter into the conference room wearing a blue henley with dark jeans, holding a bag of food from your favorite burger joint.
“Hey, I thought you guys could use a little break. I had a feeling you’d still be at it,” he let out a nervous chuckle. He stood at the opposite end of the long table awkwardly, unsure of whether he should come closer to you or not.
You had been working for nearly 12 hours, and your mental state was waning. You didn’t feel as confident about his innocence anymore, so you blurted out the question that had been gnawing at you. “Why did you store the drugs in your own car, and what were you planning to do with them?”
Bucky’s eyes widened and his breath hitched in his throat. He took a second to reply, “Wow, Y/N I thought you knew I didn’t do this, you’ve known me for so long. Why the hell would I do this?” he asked, trying to keep his cool but unable to hide the irritation in his voice.
“No Bucky, I knew you; I haven’t known you in years. I have no idea who you’ve become.”
He scoffed, “You seriously think I’ve changed? That I am capable of what — drug trafficking?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think, it’s my job to defend you regardless of your alleged guilt.”
“So that’s how it’s going to be, huh?” he asked rhetorically. “I’m not speaking to the Y/N that I fell in love with all those years ago, any more am I?” He paused, “I now see what you meant, you’re so concerned with how much I’ve changed but you don’t realize you’ve become nearly unrecognizable. The Y/N I knew would know I’m incapable of something like this. I’ve never committed a crime in my life. I even joined the military before taking over my dad’s business.”
Instant regret overcame you as his words seeped in. Of course you had changed a great deal in the last few years, but you had hoped that you were still the same person at your core. In that moment you realized you were wrong; he had only become a better version of himself. There was no way he did it.
Stuttering a breath, “Buck, I’m sorry… I will do everything I can to help you out of this, I just —,”
He cut you off before you could continue, “You know, a lot of what I did was partially done in the hope of becoming worthy of you.
Your heartbeat increased, did he still care for you? “I don't know what to say, I don't know what you want now.”
“Yes you do — it’s the same thing I’ve always wanted.”
He still cared. “Come on, you just said it yourself. I’m not that person anymore, maybe you are but I’m definitely not.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
Your face fell at that, but it was true. Before you could respond he muttered, “then why can’t I let you go?”
Taken aback, you stared at him in disbelief as your heart rate refused to slow down. “You did let me go, you didn’t ask me to stay,” you murmured with a soft, shaky voice.
He walked around the table so that he could stand right in front of you. “How could I? And run the risk that you’d actually listen? Becoming a criminal defense attorney was your dream since middle school, Y/N. Plus, it’s not like you asked me to follow you either.”
“I thought we were young and stupid. I couldn’t ask you to leave your dad’s shop especially when he was so sick at the time. It would’ve been selfish.”
“Well I wish you were selfish, at least then you’d be mine,” he said frankly.
“It wasn’t meant to be, we couldn’t ask so much of each other. Our lives were going in different directions.”
He paused to consider your words, they were the truth, but it still hurt. “So you thought about it, us working it out and getting married?” he asked with downcast eyes.
You placed your hand on his forearm, “I thought about all of it, how could I not? I loved you too, but it was bad timing. Even if I said yes the odds of us working out weren’t great, we were just kids.”
He gently wrapped his rough calloused hand over yours. “You know that’s not true, I would’ve done anything to make it work. You say it like it was a rash decision, as if I barely knew you and I acted impulsively.”
You exhaled deeply, “Bucky, it doesn’t matter anymore. We can’t do this. We made our choices, now I’m your attorney and this definitely cannot happen.”
“You didn’t give me a choice at all. You left without giving me a fighting chance.”
“Because I knew that if I let you try to convince me, there was no way I could leave without you,” you murmured. You looked down, thinking about loosening your hand from his grip, but then realizing somehow you had your fingers intertwined with his.
Bucky tilted your chin up with his free hand so that he could look into your brilliant eyes. “You are the love of my life, Y/N. There was never another like you. You took my heart and soul away from me the day you left — but maybe there’s still a chance for us.”
“I’m sorry, I wish things could have been different, but we can’t,” you said, reluctantly stepping back and fully pulling away from his warmth. “Maybe everything happened for a reason. I got my dream job, you turned your dad’s shop into a successful business. None of those things would’ve happened if we stayed together.”
“I guess you’re right, it’s just hard to remember that when you’re here now. All I can think about is the time we lost, and what we could’ve been.”
Before you could continue your conversation, Steve walked back in, unable to sense the tension in the room.
“Did you bring burgers? Thanks buddy.” He patted Bucky on the back and grabbed the bag before sitting down.
“Listen I’m gonna go, I don’t think there’s much else we can do tonight. You guys do whatever you want. I’ll see you in the morning, Steve. Bye Buck.” You grabbed your belongings and rushed out the door.
“What was that about?” Steve asked as he took a bite of his burger.
“Oh she accused me of committing the crime, and I professed my love for her.”
Steve choked on his burger, “What?!” he croaked out.
“Uh yeah, I think I blew it. Maybe I should’ve eased into it a bit. Seeing her brought back so many feelings though. I’ve always known that if I was ever given the chance again, I wouldn’t let her go easily. She told me it’s not possible though, now that she’s my lawyer. What a stupid rule,” Bucky huffed out.
Steve chuckled at his friend's annoyance, “I think there’s a rule that if you had relations prior to the client-lawyer relationship it may be kosher, but it might’ve changed. It’s probably best to wait it out.”
“I’d wait my whole life for her, what’s a little while longer.”
“I thought you were over her.”
“I never said that. I just stopped talking about her after a while because it made it easier.”
Steve nodded, “Well, she put in a lot of work for you today. She saw you with Olivia, and it kinda seemed like she might’ve been a little jealous. Perhaps there’s hope for you yet.”
Bucky lit up at the thought of that, he couldn’t help but smile to himself. “Well let’s keep me out of jail first, maybe then I can work with that.”
Steve pulled in front of the auto shop, and parked his car. “So first thing when we get in there, we ask for Walker.”
You nodded your head, “Yeah, we can ask if he knows anything about what happened with Bucky. He’s technically not involved, but we’re allowed to talk to people who might have information about the situation.”
“Perfect, lead the way.”
As he opened the door to let you in, you walked up to the receptionist’s desk. There sat a dark-haired woman with meek eyes. She didn’t bother looking up to greet you, and at that moment you noticed that her name tag said “Olivia”. It took you a second, but you realized she was the same woman from the security tapes. She was dressed differently than she was when you saw her with Bucky, opting for a more modest and darker clothing style.
You nudged Steve, and he looked at you then got a good look at Olivia. He immediately registered her as the woman from Bucky’s shop.
Before you could speak to her, John Walker turned the corner and stepped into the reception area. He looked at you, then Steve, and realized who you both were. The black suits you both were wearing also made it easier to deduce your occupations.
“I want a lawyer,” Walker stated determinedly as he crossed his arms and attempted to look menacing.
You let out a laugh. “Um, okay here we are.”
“Olivia, don’t say a word, you have the right to remain silent.”
You looked at Steve, and he looked down at you. The two of you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. John wasn’t under arrest, this wasn’t an interrogation, but he was acting like he had something to hide.
Before you could utter another word, Olivia broke the silence.
“He made me do it! John told me I had to get access to Bucky’s security system or else he would lose his whole business, he owes a lot of money to some sketchy people. It was duress, I didn’t do anything! I didn’t even know what was in the bag,” she blurted out.
“You put the bag in Bucky’s car?” Steve inquired.
“Well yeah, but John drove me there and made me.”
“Olivia shut up!” John shouted out. “None of that is true, none of it. You’ll be hearing from my attorney.”
“Lemar was in on it too, he’s an old buddy of Walker’s and he convinced him to falsify the report at the scene,” Olivia volunteered with abandon.
Shaking your head in disbelief, “Uh Steve, let’s get out of here. I think we have a couple phone calls to make.”
Things moved swiftly after speaking with the prosecutor and the police. You and Steve were able to clear Bucky’s name from all charges.
Steve could not be happier, and he wanted to be the first to head over to Bucky’s to tell him the good news. However, before he could head out he stopped and thought about what a good opportunity this could be for his best friend.
“Y/N, I was going to go to Bucky’s, but do you maybe want to be the one to tell him in person? I just realized I uh have an important meeting I need to get to, like right now.”
“Um, sure… you could just call him though, right?”
“This feels like news you deliver in person, I think. Here, I’ll write down his address for you.” He scribbled the address on a piece of paper and handed it to you, not leaving any room for arguments.
You shrugged, “Okay, Steve.” Grabbing your briefcase you headed towards your car.
The thought of being alone with Bucky made you feel nervous, but then you remembered who he was. The guy who always carried your books and watched out for you. The guy who made sure you never felt alone, never felt unloved during your adolescence. Even now, he was the guy that was unafraid of baring his soul to you and telling you how he felt, making you feel his love that never left.
You also couldn’t believe he went into the military and took over the business thinking those things would add to his worthiness. He was worth everything and more to you, simply because he was himself. Kind, loyal, silly, and so soft with your heart, no one else could ever compete. You regretted not telling him that.
You blinked a couple times, until it finally clicked — you never stopped loving him.
Feeling a newfound excitement about being the one to tell Bucky the good news, you parked your car in front of his house and took a deep breath as rain started to drizzle on your windshield.
The next decision you made could very well change the trajectory of your life.
As you knocked and waited outside his door, you felt nothing but calm. You were ready to be with the one your heart always knew you were meant to be with.
Bucky opened the door and looked at you with raised eyebrows. He didn’t expect to see you at his place. “Y/N hey, did something happen? Please come in, Steve didn’t call me about anything?” He stepped aside to let you into his beautiful brownstone.
“Yeah, he got caught up. He wanted me to deliver the good news in person.” You walked in, taking off your slightly wet raincoat, smiling at him. He looked so good in his olive green sweater.
He beamed back at you as he took your jacket, directing you towards his couch as he hung it up. “Good news?”
You sat down and he sat next to you, a couch cushion apart. “Olivia and Walker set you up. Olivia did most of the dirty work under John’s guidance. I’m really sorry Bucky, but she confessed right when she saw Steve and I this morning. We called the right people, and another police officer went and questioned the pair officially. The prosecutor agreed to throw out the case, there are no charges against you now.”
Bucky breathed a giant sigh of relief, you could see the stress literally melt off of him.
Having you in his house was enough to make him happy, but hearing that there would be no case and that he was totally a free and clear man meant the whole world. “Thank you so so much for coming to tell me! I can’t believe it. The last two days have been so hectic, I was so afraid, but that worked out better than I could’ve imagined.” He reached out to grab your hand, grateful for no longer being in his predicament.
“Yeah, nothing to worry about anymore. Sorry about Olivia though, she was Walker’s receptionist, sucks that it couldn’t work out for you both,” you muttered, unintentionally squeezing his hand a little tightly.
“You sound really broken up about it… maybe a little jealous, but I know that’s crazy,” he teased.
You smiled sheepishly in response, “Nothing like that, B.”
An adorable smile graced his lips, “So I guess that means you’re not my lawyer anymore huh?” he asked, looking deep into your eyes.
“Correct, ‘m not your lawyer anymore,” you whispered, following his train of thought.
He tried to keep his cool, knowing now that there was nothing keeping you apart but yourselves.
“Well cool, do you want to stay for a bit, or do you need to get back to work?” Bucky wasn’t sure what he should do again. It wasn’t every day that he was cleared of a crime and the girl he always dreamed of spending his life with showed up at his door. He didn’t want to let you go.
“I could stay, I cleared my schedule for the week to work on the case, so there’s nothing pressing to get back to.”
“Great, do you want me to order up a pizza and crack open a bottle of wine? It’d be nice to catch up.”
“Yes, I’d love that.”
After swiftly starting up the fireplace across from the couch, Bucky ordered a pizza from one of your favorite old spots. The two of you settled in with the best red wine, ready to get to know each other again.
Unsurprisingly, the conversation flowed easily, there was so much to learn about each other. Neither of you were exactly the same anymore; a lot of life had happened in the last few years. The last time the two of you were together, you could hardly call yourselves adults. You reflected on how you thought you knew so much about the world at 18. He told you a bit about his time in the military, and how much that made him grow up. You told him about all your years in school, and all that you did afterwards.
You both spoke about the random things that you experienced that made up who you were now.
Together, you both addressed the need for separating when you were younger; it made you both become the best versions of yourself.
You liked the person he became. He was always the best guy, but he grew up to be such a determined, kind, and amazing man.
When he got up to grab another bottle of wine he took a moment to appreciate the sight of you in his home; he thought you looked like you belonged there. You had taken off your heels and had your legs tucked under you — the slit on your black pencil skirt riding higher due to your seating position. Did you know how sexy you looked?
Throughout the afternoon you got closer and closer, literally and physically. By the time the sun had set there was hardly any space between the two of you on the couch. Like magnets, you both felt a pull towards each other that nothing could repel. Somehow his arm made its way behind your couch cushion, and you leaned into him from time to time.
There was a delightful familiarity you felt when you were with him. Even if you were no longer the same people, being near him felt easy, effortless. He knew you in ways most people never would.
Bucky felt the same way, it was all so normal and comfortable. And now that he was near you again, he couldn’t stop trying to make you smile; it had been far too long that he had gone without seeing it. He loved seeing you happy, content, and smiling. It was the most beautiful sight in the world to him.
He missed this, being with someone you feel safe to be your truest self with — he missed you.
Bucky realized he was wrong when he told you that you had become unrecognizable, and he wanted to make that right.
“I’m sorry for what I said at your office. You’re still you. Obviously you’ve grown into someone even more amazing and wonderful, but the girl I loved is still in there,” he whispered.
You met his ocean blue eyes, “I’m sorry too, B. The stress of the situation got the better of me, I shouldn’t have accused you. I knew better.” He nodded his head, he understood.
Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I’m also sorry that I let it slip that I still have feelings for you,” he blushed under your gaze, the wine releasing his inhibitions ever so slightly.
Oh, you’re not.
“I appreciated the honesty, I like how I never have to guess where I stand with you.”
“Well I wish I could say the same about you,” he nudged your shoulder playfully and let out a laugh.
You narrowed your eyes and smirked at him, then you reached down to play with his fingers. “Why do you think I put your case at the forefront of everything, B,” you whispered. He intertwined his fingers with yours.
“Why do you think I let Steve pretend he had a meeting, so that I could come over and tell you the news myself?” you asked rhetorically, looking into his dark and dilated pupils. He was so close to you, his soft pink lips inviting you in. “Why do you think I came back to Brooklyn at all... ”
Bucky gasped in surprise, he couldn’t believe it. He reached out and cupped your cheek, you placed your hand over his and held his gaze. He looked deeply into your sparkling eyes, as if he wanted to memorize the look of adoration you held just for him. You saw nothing but pure love and desire reflecting back to you. “You were always worthy of my love, you’ve always had it,” you said.
Remagnetized and unable to fight the pull, your lips met his for a warm passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against his beefy body as his tongue begged for yours to part. Letting him in, you placed your hands behind his neck and deepened the kiss.
You and Bucky had shared at least a thousand kisses in the past, but none like this.
None full of this much desire, want, and need. Never a kiss filled with such emotion and love. His hands roamed over your body, touching, kneading, trying to remind himself this was real — that you came back for him.
Slowly pulling back, you smiled as he chased your lips. You reached down to bunch your skirt up so that you could properly straddle his thick thighs. Understanding your intention, he manhandled you on top of him with ease. Fuck, that was hot. He was so much stronger than he used to be, and the thought of what he could do to you with muscles like that made your body buzz with desire.
You hadn’t realized you were biting your lip as you ogled him until he gently smoothed your bottom lip free with his thumb. You kissed the pad of his thumb, and he smiled at how adorable you were. He placed his hands on your waist, and trailed one arm up the length of your spine until it finally rested on the back of your neck. He pulled you into him, taking charge and guiding your lips to his.
The touch of his tongue set your body on fire, making you tingle in places you hadn’t in a while. He squeezed your hip and pulled you down hard against his tightening jeans — you grinded steadily against his growing erection. Fuck, was he always that big?
You kissed along his scruffy jawline, down his throat, nipping and sucking as you went.
Bucky groaned, “Baby, baby wait. Are you drunk?” he asked as he halted your movement, unwilling to take advantage of the situation.
“No, it would take a lot more than that to get me drunk.” you answered honestly. “Are you?”
“Not at all, and I’m glad because I want to remember every moment of this.” He leaned in to kiss you again, wrapping his strong arms around your waist.
Threading your hands in his hair, you kissed him back, soft and tender. There was no rush, not after all the time you spent without him.
The kisses slowly grew hotter and heavier, your hands tugging at his hair as you grinded against him again. The friction against your lace-covered core became too much. You couldn’t take it any longer, you needed him, pulling away you whispered against his lips, “Can I ride you, Buck?”
He nodded his head eagerly and leaned back on his sectional, giving you the space to do what you wanted. You speedily unzipped your skirt and slid it off, taking off the rest of your clothes as quickly as possible. Bucky followed suit, removing his clothes, watching you with a big grin — you were always so eager for him. You scrunched your nose when you saw him taking you in, “See something you like?” you teased, hovering over his lap.
“Mhmm, very much,” he pulled you down on top of him so that you could feel all of him, right against your dripping wet heat. He kissed his way down your neck, stopping to suck and knead your breasts harshly with his tongue and large warm hands. You whimpered as you gripped his hair and held him in place. He lavished your chest with kisses, unafraid of leaving a mark.
Unable to feel the emptiness inside of you any longer, you pushed him, making him release you. Bucky laid back but kept his hands on your hips to steady you, watching as you lined yourself up with his length and sunk down slowly, releasing a shuddering gasp as he filled you up completely.
You took a moment to adjust to his size — he really was bigger than you remembered. He stretched you out in the most satisfying way, the delicious pressure from being so full of him turned you on even more. Eagerly, you leaned forward and placed your hands on his broad shoulders, using him as leverage as you started to bounce on his thick cock.
Bucky’s hips moved instinctively, as he tightly gripped your hips and thrust into you, unable to control himself because he needed you too.“You feel so fucking perfect.” Bucky watched with admiration as the love of his life took what she wanted from him. “Fuck, use me pretty girl, just like that,” and you did, circling your hips and taking what you needed. He couldn’t be happier as he watched you ride him like you were meant to. He rubbed small circles over your clit when he felt your warm walls squeeze around him.
The coil tightened as a sudden orgasm took you over, making your body tremble with your release.
Grabbing the back of your neck he pulled your lips to his, pouring every emotion he felt into the bruising kiss. He pulled away to look at you in awe, his gorgeous sweet girl coming down from her high.
As your heavy breathing slowed down you felt Bucky sit up with his hard cock still inside of you. Crap, he didn’t cum.
You giggled as you looked at him, disheveled and handsome. “Sorry, B… just give me another minute and I’ll—,”
He flashed you a soft grin, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” Bucky hooked his hands behind your thighs and stood up as if you weighed nothing.
He walked you back towards the wall behind you, gently pressing you up against it. Placing a hand behind your head and keeping you pinned to the wall with his solid body, he kissed you fervently. Then he dropped his hand back under your thigh and snapped his hips into you with a hard thrust — with deep, steady strokes, he reclaimed your body as his. He knew you belonged together, and he never wanted to be without you again.
“Whose pussy is this, baby?” he groaned against the shell of your ear as he pounded into you.
“Yours Bucky, only yours,” you cried out, while he took you higher than you had ever been. Feeling weightless and under his control turning you on even more. He swallowed your gasps as he kissed you, murmuring sweet praises against your lips.
“That’s a good girl, taking me so well — missed this pussy so much. Missed you so much,” he managed to mutter out between his heavy breaths.
Bucky took you apart, striking every spot, giving you everything you needed with his rough unwavering thrusts. “Now cum for me, my love,” he rubbed your swollen clit and you could have sworn your soul left your body. “Buc-” you screamed, clutching his shoulders and squeezing your eyes shut as fireworks bursted behind your eyelids. Clenching down hard on his cock as wave after wave of pleasure rushed through your body.
A soft grunt escaped his lips as he felt your tight walls squeeze around him, and after a couple more hard thrusts Bucky finally emptied himself deep inside you — where he belonged.
The two of you wore matching satisfied smiles as you caught your breaths. After a moment, he carried you back to his room and sat you down on his bathroom counter. He didn’t want to let you go just yet, but he wanted to cuddle with you, and the two of you needed a shower after that little marathon. As the water warmed up, he stepped in between your parted legs and tilted your chin up so he could see your tired eyes.
“Think you can walk to the shower?” he asked teasingly.
“Mm no, B, you can carry me though.”
“Whatever my girl wants,” he pecked your lips and picked you up as you wrapped your arms around his neck and lazily kissed him. Standing under the large rainfall shower head, he held you in his arms, incapable of wiping the giant grin off his face.
The warm water washed the tiredness away a bit, and you asked him to finally put you down.
When you were younger, sex with Bucky was always rushed. Even though you were 18, it wasn’t something your parents approved of, so you rarely got the time to savor it whenever you found the time to get intimate.
Today though, Bucky cherished every moment. He took care of you without a concern for anything else in the world. The intimacy you shared was everything you wished for and so much more.
He gently washed your body, and you helped him wash his own too; you particularly enjoyed running your hands over his broad chest, defined abs, and well-built back.
“Buck, you know you’re like stupid hot right?” you asked him with faux annoyance in your voice.
He let out a laugh at your comment, cupping your cheek and dropping his head down for a sweet kiss. “You know you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on, right?”
Heat rushed to your cheeks, he was so sweet on you. You didn’t say anything, just leaned up to kiss him some more.
When you finally got out of the shower, you both dried up nicely then slipped into bed together, clothes long forgotten.
He wrapped you up in his big strong arms, so happy to have you close to him. You traced your fingers over his chest as you considered what had just happened.
“So much time has passed, B. You sure we can go back?” you asked hesitantly. The last couple of days were eventful to say the least, and you were afraid you might be getting caught up in it.
“You’ve always had my heart, Y/N. I don’t want to go back, I want to move forward with you by my side.”
Oh boy, this is real.
This man truly loved you, he never stopped loving you.
“Bucky, you weren’t always this sappy,” you said teasingly, squeezing his large bicep.
“It took years of missing you, thinking about what I lost to make me appreciate this all the more.” He kissed your forehead gently. After a beat, “Is it weird that I’m grateful for Walker? He’s the reason you came back in my life.”
You giggled at that and sat up to look at him. “It's a little weird, but I know it wouldn’t have been long until we found our way back to each other. Somehow, I knew it was a matter of time.”
A lazy smile tugged at his lips. “Yeah, I know you’re right. Steve told me when you took the job, I knew you were back. I was just working up the courage to reach out to you again.”
Your eyes widened at his confession, you didn’t know that.
“Oh also, I was never dating Olivia. I had hired her to work for us, I didn’t know where she was actually working. She quit suddenly, but I might've let you think we were a thing because jealousy looks real cute on you,” he smiled sheepishly.
“You jerk!” you playfully swatted his shoulder. “I was jealous though, you were right,” you let out a laugh.
“I know baby, I liked it.”
“Oh, Bucky, what am I going to do with you?” you beamed at the sweet giant man.
“Keep me?” he paused, “I’d like that more than anything.”
You nodded your head at your big softy. “Okay, handsome, you’re all mine now. I’m not letting you get away.”
He smiled brightly at that, tightening his hold on you. “And you’re mine. My girl, my baby, my sweetheart,” he tangled his legs with yours, caging you in while being careful not to crush you with his weight.
“Yes, I am,” you stated confidently.
You could’ve sworn you saw Bucky’s eyes water a little as he leaned in to kiss you. But that was all forgotten as you lost yourself in him again. As his lips slowly descended down your body you briefly thought about how there was probably a lot more to talk about. Nevertheless, you knew that could wait.
All that mattered now was that you were his and he was yours.
𝑴𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝑴𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒊𝒕𝒚 [𝑩.𝑩.]
Pairing • Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary ● You are in a loveless marriage that has made you bitter, until you met Bucky. Two souls connected, they say misery loves company, well you and Bucky mold perfectly together, seamlessly, trying to escape your demons and search for anew.
Warnings ● 18+ MDI. Infidelity, depictions of manipulation, possessive!bucky, mentions of murder/violence, the husband is literal trash, oral sex, unprotected p in v (this is fiction ur life isn't), voyeurism, allusions to DA.
A/N ● I will most definitely write a follow up to this. I have an idea in mind, so if you enjoyed reblogs and comments are appreciated.
And feel free to send asks about this mini series 💕
You should feel bad. Any normal person in your situation would be wretched with shame and guilt, but you aren't any normal person. Your relationship with your husband has been long forgotten, just two strangers shackled together with wedding vows and a commitment. If you could get away with it, you would have tossed your wedding ring in the ocean like you've seen in movies, but people talk in your small suburban town.
To much of your dismay, it's a constant reminder that you are his and that's final.
Until recently, of course.
You hadn't always felt this way, you would like to remind yourself. You tried to remember what it was like to be in love with your husband but it seemed like everything he did rubbed salt into the already deep wound. There were too many fights and harsh words layered on top of the “I love yous” you used to whisper at each other entangled, lustfully.
You recall one night about six months ago, that your husband had actually agreed to attempt date night. There was a swanky new jazz bar downtown had caught your attention and you had mentioned it to your husband. Being the good husband he was, he wanted to take you out purely for appearances.
You had guessed, though when he was a 1 hour late, your ‘doting’ husband had recalled where he needed to be for the evening but sent you a sorry-ass excuse by text.
“Sorry babe, working late.”
You sighed and took a sip of your vodka soda. You nodded your head at the bartender in gratitude as he departed. Your face twisted in the bitterness of the alcohol and how this evening was going. Not that you were expecting a happy evening. Hell, you've played pretend for the majority of your life at this point, it's gotten to the point where myth and reality were jumbled, and it's hard to tell which was which. You sneered at yourself.
"Too stiff for ya?" The brunette man down the bar remarked. You chuckled to yourself as you lifted your head at the sound. His voice was gravelly and sent a tingle down your spine.
You snickered. "I guess you can say that."
Your eyes glanced down the bar and you practically gasped. One of New York's most well known mafia bosses was speaking to you in the dimly lit jazz club.
"Ya know, if he fucked up your drink, it's not a problem to get it remade." He said almost as if it was a decree.
It was then that you became a little too aware of your surroundings. Your eyes darted around and noticed well-dressed men stationed at every exit. Those must be Mr. Barnes’ men. Your anxiety started to rise as you felt the intensity of his stare. You don't know this until later, but this wouldn't be the first time Bucky took notice of you. He knew your husband was a piece of shit and a sweet little angel like you needed takin’ care of.
"I have to be honest, Mr. Barnes-” Your words began to tumble out of your mouth quickly. You were shell shocked and mesmerized by his silhouette begin a few feet from you. Bucky got up and strode over to you. He stood behind you and you took notice of his hot breath on your skin.
“Bucky, please, sweetheart.” He insisted as he took notice of your face in the mirror by the bar. Your eyes never left Bucky’s intimidating steel blue ones. You wanted to be swallowed whole by them and wade in his oceanic irises. "What's a pretty girl like you, doing here all alone?"
Your breath almost hitched. "I was supposed to be meeting my husband." The words lingered in the air for far to long and begged for an explanation. "But he told me he was working late, it's cute that he turns a blind eye to the fact I know he's sleeping with the secretary."
Bucky tsks at your revelation. Disappointment caressed his features, you deserved better. You will get better. "Oh is that so?"
"Uh, yeah." You mumbled. You began to feel soft sultry kisses on the side of your throat upwards to the shell of your ear. You could feel the scruff of his beard brush your skin as he nibbled your ear lobe. “Good because that means you're free this evening, and I can't wait to spend it between your thighs.”
“Oh-I” You quivered. This is wrong. You knew it was wrong in every way but your brain didn’t want to argue, or maybe it was your pussy taking over the reins.
“Sweetheart, if you wanna play the good wife, you can, but you ain't foolin’ me.” He whispered in your ear, his gruff voice made you shiver. You noticed his hands gravitate to your thighs as your red sequin dress rides up. Your breath hitched as you felt him press in the backside of you, his erection hard and thick.
“Get your courage up and drink this down.” He lifted your rock glass to your lips and you drank from it without hesitation. “Let's have some fun.” Bucky insisted, his hand awaiting yours. You shouldn't go, you know you shouldn't. But where is your husband to stop you? He hasn’t given you enough reason to stay, and you were sick of playing pretend for a man who never treated you fairly. It's almost as if you were rigged from the word go. A smirk grew on your glossed lips as you rose from your seat and grasped his hand.
It's been six months of secrets. Your illicit affair was your lifeline, while the rest of your world was poisoned with delusion; your relationship with Bucky was the most fundamental thing you had endured to date. You felt safe and secure with him, despite the fact he was a mafia boss. You never had to question his loyalty to you, he ensured that. It took him great lengths to get you, so he wasn’t going to risk losing you now. But you still were scared, you were ready for the other shoe to drop. You knew something this wonderful couldn't last forever.
Even more so, your husband is growing wary and suspicious of your whereabouts. As much as he is dismissive of you, these emotions are privately contained. He acts like a good husband in front of friends, family, and public spaces. It's almost like your husband was putting on a mask and would interchange them depending on who you were around. If you thought about it too long, you weren't sure if you truly knew who your husband was as an individual. You did know he withheld darkness, but at what depth it went to, you weren't sure.
It's almost like you're married to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
A couple of days ago, Bucky called you, and insisted you spend the night at his townhouse in Manhattan. “C’mon, and meet me in the city.” He whispered to you. “I need you, angel.”
And in typical fashion, you went— like always.
What you didn't realize is that you had been tagged, and a PI had been following you during your entire trip. Your husband had hired one of the most well respecting PIs behind your back and ordered him to document any incriminating evidence that could deem you as breaking your wedding vows. Your husband was very wealthy man and if his money was going to anyone it sure as hell wasn't you. He had his suspicions like you did yours, but he need to solidify it with cold hard proof.
You had a key to the townhouse so you slipped right in. It felt like a nice release, a fresh breath of air entering the townhouse. You shuffle in the kitchen and notice a handwritten note on the island.
Be back soon, my angel. There is a present for you on the bed. Love, Bucky
A smile gleamed over your face as you read his note. You almost floated into the master suite, and saw a sleek black box wrapped in a red ribbon. You unwrapped it carefully and admired what was inside.
A blue set of lace lingerie and a note that says “wear me.”
A smirl spread across your lips and you slipped into it without a second thought. The way your fingers grazed the laced as your admired your figure.
Damn your tits look great in this set.
Inspector Barber shuffled in the bushes trying to master a good angle. Awaiting, watching what it seemed like a pot begging to boil, he stayed crouched down, his eyes lingering, admiring your beauty. He had almost the nerve to fuck you against the California King-sized bed himself. You were tempting, like the apple in the Garden of Eden and the longer he watched, the more his cock twitched. Almost out of no where, the garage door opened and your mafia boyfriend sautered in almost carelessly. Bucky couldn't wait to get his hands on you.
Andy huffed out a long breath. Partially relieved to have his target in sight but also grateful he didn't get caught with his hand almost down his pants.
"God the way you devaste me, doll. You're like a damn hurricane and I'm a simple boat at your mercy." Your eyes glanced up at the daunting silhouette peering in the doorway. All you could do was chuckle; what a charmer, you thought.
You slowly shook your head, “Alright, killer. How do you want me?” You teased as you strolled towards him, your eyes never left his steel blue ones. His firm gaze was broken into a sudden smile.
“With a glass of wine in hand, lounging on my couch as I make you dinner,” he suggested as a smirk spread across his lips. “There will be plenty of time for us to play later, babydoll.”
“Or so he says.” You retorted, as you playfully roll your eyes.
“Alright, angel, don’t start actin’ hellish.” He chuckled as he led you into the living room. Fifteen minutes later, you were found lounging on his plush sofa, a glass of róse in hand as you and Bucky spoke about each other’s days. It was nice and peaceful. You breathed in the aroma the spaghetti bolognese he was making. It smelled divine. It seemed ￼as though you were in a trance as you gazed at Bucky humming; your feet floated to the kitchen.
“Oh my god this smells so fucking good, Buck. Who taught you how to cook?” Usually, you and Bucky would go into the city while you were with him. As a mafia boss, Bucky had connections everywhere it seemed, and you would enjoy your time with him a private club as an form of escape. Typically wearing his favorite dress— the red sequin one you met him in.
But tonight, Bucky insisted on cooking for you; he told you, you deserved a lovely meal prepared for you, just as long as you brought dessert. He gets pretty needy for something sweet and tasty after dinner and you are more than happy to cure his insatiable cravings.
A smile graced his lips. “My ma did, she was fantastic at cooking, well she was fantastic at everything to be honest.”
You were flush against Bucky, his back against your front, hands roaming around and making light work of feeling his corded muscles. You began to press light kisses on back and traced upward his spine making Bucky flutter from the inside out. A small smile broke out and spread across his lips.
“Just couldn’t wait, angel?” He muttered as you began to untie his Kiss the Cook apron. It unraveled beneath your fingers and feel briskly to the ground. You soon found your hands grazing his prominent bulge. You always found it ironic that Bucky called you his angel because you truly were the devil most of the time. Especially when it came to teasing your brooding mafia boss. A shiver wracked through him as he let out a subtle hiss. Within moments, the stove was off, dinner long forgotten. His chest was flush with yours as your fingers found his zipper with ease and went to tug his dress pants down. You both made quick work of removing his clothes until he was just in his briefs. Your lips molded with Bucky’s, never missing a beat.
“Let’s run away.” He insisted between heated kisses, sucking your skin allowing for bruises to start to bloom. You felt your fingertips caress the cheek, and your eyes met him, “Need you to be with me always, doll.”
“Why?” You murmured. Your eyes widened as you felt his movements come to a halt. The moment the word leaves your lips, you regret it. Remorse began to fill your heart. Your stomach twisted slightly in the wake of his words. He owned all of New York. Men would bow down at his feet, begging, pleading for his mercy. Why would he leave that all behind? It couldn’t just be because of you?
“Because I don't want to feel like you need to hide in the shadows anymore. I want to be with us to be together, openly, freely.” Bucky knows the situation. He understands your husband isn’t a saint, but he also understands the gravity of your marriage to him. He could kill him. He always had that wild card in his back pocket, but at the end of the day, Bucky realized that he needed you to trust him no matter what. He couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes with you divorcing your husband. He wanted you to have it all, which also included his money as well, even though you would never need it. Bucky would always provide for you without a second thought.
So he had to be patient with you and your feelings, as disheveled as they may be, but his patience was wearing thin. How couldn't go much longer seeing you unhappy.
"You know I can't do that." His hopeful expression faded almost instantaneously. Your words shock his nerves, you couldn’t go back to your husband, he won’t let you.
"What's holdin' you back, angel? I need to know." He insisted, his calloused fingertips grazed your arms and hooked around your neck.
“Bucky, I’m still married. You know that,” It was taking everything in his willpower not to roll his eyes at your absurdity, “I’m cheating on my husband and before you say anything, yes, I know he isn’t a good man but what we are doing isn't any better.”
Bucket kneeled before you; his eyes gleamed as he took in your figure. He kissed his way up your long legs to your delicious thighs. His kisses whispered things he didn't dare utter were felt on your heated skin. Your lace panties were soaked when you felt his hot breath on your clit. You ached for his touch, it almost made you want to surrender your inhibitions.
“Really? If our love is so wrong, tell me, why does it feel so right?” His eyes peered up as he began to lap away at your arousal. It did feel right; Bucky was the missing puzzle piece you had been searching for your entire life. Moans began to escape you; you could feel your clit throb as two of Bucky’s fingers plunged into your needy core. God damn it.
“Am I not the one you're dreamin’ of, my angel? Am I not the one you wanna love forever?” The words swirled in your ears and took residence in your mind. Bucky was everything you had dreamed of and more. You couldn't believe this figment of your imagination actually existed and was sucking the soul out of you at the moment. You were quaking in pleasure. His movements were hypnotic as he sucked and nibbled on your clit and pounded you with his digits. His pace almost seemed inhuman as he was attempting to lay claim on you somehow. The pressure was becoming overwhelmingly impactful, and with three simple words, you lost all your wits.
“Cum for me,” He grunted and your hot arousal soaked his fingers.
Oh, how it was painfully delicious to be submissive for you mafia boss, but something or someone was holding you back. As you came down from your high, he peered you at you with soft baby blue eyes.
“Let me fix it. Let me protect you.”
“I don't know if you can,” You murmured.
“He threatened you.”
“No. I didn't say that.” You tried to reassure, your words coming out quick, almost as an automatic response you had committed to memory, “You didn't have to.” In an instant, all the composure he had withheld was swept away, with the glimpse of his favorite antique gun slipped from out of a kitchen drawer and into his hand. He went to retrieve his clothing when you shouted for him, “Bucky!”
Your voice echoed and his eyes darted up, “Please.” You begged, for what you, you weren't sure of, but you knew you needed him, here with you.
“You don't have to protect him anymore, he was a mistake, dollface.” He grasped your hands carefully and interlocked his fingers. You could feel the faint tracing on your wedding band that was glistening on your ring finger. “Don't let this wedding band chain you away forever, because I'm not going anywhere.”
His phone rang, and a hush feel over the room. Bucky’s eyes stayed locked onto yours as he went to answer his cell phone. You could hear a man’s voice muffled, front where you were standing. You guessed it was one of Bucky’s men but you couldn’t be sure. There was a small shift. The once intense passion that glistened in his steel blue irises had shifted to pure possession and feral protectiveness in overdrive. It was utter chaos.
You noticed his breath slow, “I see, thank you.” He mumbled. His tone thick and gruff.
And for a moment, a split second, Andy thought he locked eyes with the mobster. His breath became shallow, and his mouth almost agape as he scrambled to find his wits and his sanity at the moment. Shit. He clutched for his camera and made a clean break before your mafia boyfriend could smash and break his face in.
“You wanna finish what you started earlier, angel?” He asked in a teasing tone. A small giggle escaped your lips as you went to hop on his lap. Bucky made quick work pulling his leaking, red cock out. “Do you understand what you do to me angel? You have me at your mercy, always.” He slipped in with ease, and you couldn't contain the unwavering urgency to be filled by Bucky.
“I love you. So much.” You breathed out between pants, your tits bouncing with your momentum￼ as his cock hit all the sweet spots within you. His eyes widened and he gave you a lopsided grin. ￼It was a breathtaking sight to see you working yourself on his cock and taking what you needed, and rest assured Bucky had plenty to offer. His calloused fingertips tweaked your nipples as you clawed his muscular back. Red lines in the wake of your passion filled frenzy.
“Please, what angel?”
“Need you fill me with your cum.” You moaned out, the thought sending shockwaves to your core.
Bucky’s eyes met yours and you could see the shock and how unsure he was. You have never let him cum inside you before, but now? He saw the shift in your features. The determination and insistence that came with it. “You sure?”
“Please, James. I need to feel all of you, baby.” And that's when Bucky lost it. Entirely and wholeheartedly falling into a euphoric abyss with you wildly rutting on him. He quickly laid you down and entered inside you from a deeper angle as your calves both gripped his torso, begging for as much closeness as humanely possible. Skin slapping skin, Bucky trying to touch you everywhere at once. You felt your hands tug at his locks as he sucked bruises on your collarbone. His hands grabbed the meat of your thighs as he drilled into you. Your whimpers and cries filled the room and only got loud with the closer you felt yourself explode with immense pleasure only Bucky could give you.
“All mine.” He groaned in your ear as he spurts loads of hot cum inside of you. It was almost a cathartic experience, as the feeling overwhelmed you. Feeling so utterly full and constantly fulfilled as he still rutted into you through his orgasm. A wail escapes your lips as you felt the pressure snapped and stars shimmered behind your eyes. You were floating in serenity.
“My beautiful, beautiful angel.” He whispered as light kisses were peppered on your face, “So proud of you, doll.”
You don’t know how or when, but that bastard they call your husband won't know what's coming. Resistance was fleeting, and whatever comes to be you, you would be ready, swinging. Hard and heavy. You refuse to lose Bucky.
Sometime later, Inspector Barber had finally arrived back to his office after a job well done, for the most part. His SD card filled with evidence of your affair lingering there. As he stepped inside, he gave a curt nod to his receptionist who was answering a call. She smiled in response, “Inspector Barber’s office.”
"Put it on speaker," he mouthed to her.
“Who’s speaking?” The gruff voice questioned. Annoyance was relevant in his tone but it went beyond that. A reckoning was brewing.
“Mary, his receptionist.”
“Ah. Well, Mary please tell Inspector Barber if he wants to keep his life, he’ll destroy that hard drive. I won't be fucked with.” The line went dead without another syllable uttered. Inspector Barber's eyes widen and his blood ran cold.
This for sure wasn't going to end well.
Tagged: @writing-for-marvel, @gutflorizt, @tshsbitch, @ccmarvelxx, @cutelittlenightmaresworld
guess whos back? back again? Shadys back shadys back with a bucky thought
Gym besties with bucky, a friends to lovers kind of (or if thats not ur cup of tea them also may i suggest trainer or sports au) and the two of you goof around the gym as well as doing your thing.
can we imagine that the two of you are both trainers but youre rivals?? like bucky fucking hates that someone else in his gym where he was first, is taking his spotlight
he had been with steve and his gym for years, he was pretty much there from the ground up, so he knew the ins and outs
what he didn't know however was that steve wanted to get a new trainer since the place was picking up business and he didn't wanna overload bucky
and when he finds out its you that does weekly yoga sessions, he pretty much flips
not only were you breathtaking, but you were going to be walking around here with an ass out all day in yoga pants
and you did, and you took a liking to bucky real quick. you both knew you were checking each other out, that much was true. he caught your gaze as much as you did him, and it always created this sexual tension between the two of you
but bucky wasnt going to be the first to snap, he was still pissed you were there in the first place
until he looked over and saw you in a downward dog pose with your ass pointing right at him
Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Summary: After Reader gives Bucky a massage, he realizes how much he likes her touch. // Or a friends to lovers story.
A/N - I’ve been working on this for like 3 months now lmao. This is wayyyy different than I originally sat out for it to be but that’s okay. I’m really proud of it and absolutely love it and I hope you guys do too. It’s really just a fluffy lil love story.
Warnings: language, sexual references, Bucky’s shoulder and phantom pain, touch starved Bucky, grumpy Bucky, but he has a soft spot for reader, some PTSD stuff, Bucky’s also anxious, and he’s dumb and doesn’t realize reader loves him too, teasing, drinking, takes place during and after TFATWS
It all started with his shoulder. Because of course it would. Of course, amongst all the other shitty cards life dealt Bucky, chronic pain had to be in the deck. Unexpectedly, shoulder pain was apparently the rain that preceded a rainbow.
It felt like hell decided to take home there. An overall soreness, a dragging weight that felt like a boulder sat in his skin, along with an pricking sensation that was comparable to a hundred needles driving into his non-existent arm; which was a feeling he still couldn’t wrap his head around.
His spine felt twisted, convoluted by the 65 pounds of metal it upheld. He felt as if all the damn muscles in his back and neck were on the verge of giving out. This oh so common feeling resulted in a bad day. Bucky cursed the goddamn universe for giving him this daily predicament when painkillers were ineffective on him.
Also, the pain wasn’t ideal to endure in the midst of the chaos he’d gotten himself into. Between the flagsmashers and doing anything, any work he could to get a lead; Zemo being an conniving instigator, always trying to prod at Bucky’s head or give some kind of twisted sentiment to purposely offend someone; amongst many other undesirable circumstances from the past few weeks that he’d been repressing, Bucky’s threshold for irritation had been passed. He was just glad to finally take a seat and possibly bring his pain to a minimum.
You trotted into the open room, your attention falling upon the large figure slouched into the couch cushions. Your attention was on him most of the time anyways but your curiosity peaked at this particular moment.
Bucky wilted into the sofa, head flung backwards, eyes tightened shut and lips pursed into a thin line. His position looked like a poor attempt at alleviating discomfort. You could practically feel this stiffness of his body from where you where standing, as if he was the epitome of rigidity.
Bucky was utterly still besides the frequent expansion and collapse of his chest and the flaring of his nostrils each time air passed through. You watched his brows crease as he attempted to shift a bit, he shook his arm and rolled it in the air before letting it plop down on his stomach.
After your observation, you plodded past him, making a detour from your original route into the kitchen instead. You rustled through the cabinets to find what you needed, or more so what you thought would possibly cheer your friend up a bit.
You half way debated on wether you should actually bother Bucky or not. He’d been rather snappy the whole day. Words few and far in between, yet each one was laced with annoyance, leaving a sour punch to whom ever they were directed towards. There was a lack of his usual playfulness in his grouchy attitude.
However, you had a gut feeling about the cause of his increased moodiness, and felt that you could be of help. With that reasoning, you poured two glasses of Zemo’s whisky, then carried them towards the couch.
The sudden feeling of cool condensation touching his palm alerted the man to your presence. Bucky’s forehead crinkled. His nystagmic eyes followed your movements inquisitively, as settled to his right.
“What’s this?” He mumbled, staring down at the cup as if it were an oddity.
“A drink.” You stated the obvious and he gave you a peculiar look. “It’s not fuckin poisoned.”
“Oh good, I was so fuckin worried about that, you gave me a real scare.” Bucky sneered. “Not like any poison could hurt me anyways.”
You grinned at that and watched him take a mouthful. “You good?” You quieted your voice and provided a more caring, worried tone.
“I’m fine?” He shrugged, saying it as a question rather than a statement.
You rolled your eyes immediately, then took a sip of your own drink. “That’s a load of bullshit. You’ve been bitchy all day.”
Bucky screwed up his face, squinting his eyes at you as if you’d just offended him deeply. “No I haven’t.”
“Yes you have.” You mocked teasingly. “You’ve been in a shit mood, what’s wrong?”
He paused to glare at you, then spoke without breaking his interrogative stare. “Is that why you brought me a drink?”
“So if I agree, will you feel bad for me and keep ‘em comin? Or better yet, bring me snack, I’m kinda hungry.” He propositioned with a mini smirk. You playfully punched his leg at the request. “Ow!”
“I’m not your fuckin servant.” You gritted with faux anger but failed to restrain the smile that grew. “Seriously what’s up with you?”
“Nothing.” He broke his eye contact with you and shook his head.
“You’re a shitty liar, ya know. And you keep makin that one face.” You pointed out blandly.
“I don’t know, the one you make when somethin’s bothering you.”
He grunted, then rolled his eyes and swallowed the last of his liquor. “You’re dellusional.”
“And you’re a liar.” You shot back.
“Will you let me sit in peace?”
“If you tell me what’s wrong.” You counter offered.
Bucky sighed and licked his lips. “My shoulder and back hurt. Now will you quit fucking gripping at me?” He reluctantly revealed with a semi-nonchalant tone despite the highly contrasting body language.
Your lips set into a slight frown, him confirming what you thought the issue was. “Arm?”
“The one and only.” Bucky grumbled.
“Phantom pain too or just muscle?”
“Both.” His voice was now hushed, embarrassed more with every moment of this conversation.
“Set up a bit.” You commanded with the wave of your hand, you then stood up yourself and began to walk.
“What are you doing?” His features knitted together forming a scowl.
Your response only made him more skeptical of your seemingly spontaneous behavior. “No, what are you doing?”
“My god, Bucky relax. You’re gettin all defensive for nothing, ya big idiot.” You laughed as you strolled to the back of the sofa, right behind where he was seated.
You trailed across his back to find where metal ended through the fabric of his shirt. You then placed your hands onto the taut muscles of his shoulder and lower neck. There was no give to them, you’d merely rested your fingers there for a few seconds but could already feel the knots.
“You’re touching me, I have every right to-oh, oh fuck.” Bucky haulted his complaints with a blissful noise when you pressed your thumbs into the most strained area and began to move them in circular, forceful motions while your other fingers worked more lightly in surrounding.
“See? Not so bad. Figured it’d make you feel better.” You hummed.
You forced your digits deep into the knots, grinding at them to loosen up his body. You payed attention to multiple spots, all along the rugged path of where his arm began as well as his spine and middle back, even his other shoulder. You massaged each gently and took your time.
Throughout, he’d relaxed into your touch. The man released a few soft moans but when you reached a particularly tight spot around his ribs, he moaned rather deeply, sounding guttural.
“Woah Barnes, I think you’re likin this a little too much.” You laughed, still working into him.
“Fuck you.” He bit, almost breathlessly.
“Kinda sounds like you are fucking me.” You teased boldly, with a flirtatious undertone.
“Maybe I’m daydreaming it.” Bucky deadpanned.
“Oh good, how hot is dream-me naked, scale of 1-10?” You played along, trying to remain as blank as he did but amusement still poked through.
“Negative 20.” He bit his lower lip and exhaled through his nose, attempting to hold back the tiny laugh that almost escaped him.
“So hateful, I’m hurt.”
“Mm.” He grunted, the pushed his body further into finger tips, causing the entirety of your palms and forearms to linger on him.
It was an action he’d done sparsely throughout the massage. You’d readjust yourself and a few moments later, his back would press right into you once again, as if your fingers weren’t enough and the inch of air between your bodies was unacceptable.
At first it wasn’t on purpose, it was rather instinctual. The pure ecstasy your touch brought was subconscious but it grew into a forefront, hungry, craving for more. He was intoxicated on the way your gentle, warm hands took care of him. Touching him with a kindness and special affection that he hadn’t felt on his body since Steve, and even then very sparingly.
Bucky didn’t realize how dazed he’d become on the feeling until you pulled away. Until you ruffled his hair, in one final moment of contact and then said goodnight. Your sudden stop and disappearance left him inexplicably disappointed. His shoulder felt much nicer, much more relaxed, yet there was something in him that felt unattended to.
The following morning, that odd feeling still resided in him but grew in intensity when he saw you. Something about it made his heart pang, almost as if he missed you, like he craved you.
You’d called him out for staring, for standing in the middle of the floor still as a statue, watching creepily. Bucky just shook his head defeatedly and claimed to be tired. Once brought back to his senses, he also didn’t understand how his tiny crush had grown in intensity over night. How it went from liking you normally, to what he could only assume was yearning for your company.
Oddly, he suddenly wanted to be by your side at all times but was admittedly rather terrible at hiding it. He tentatively followed you around and always stood next to you on the day’s mission work. Sam even questioned Bucky privately about why he was trailing behind you like a lost puppy, which earned a him death stare.
Something in his head was pestering him to get closer, to find an excuse to spend time with you and it wasn’t letting him rest. So Bucky found himself in the doorway of your guest room, his hands frantically wriggling, sweat starting to form on the right one. You laid, sprawled out on the bed, scrolling mindlessly on your phone. You hadn’t realized he was there, so it wasn’t too late for him to back out, but fuck he couldn’t resist.
“Are you busy?” He asked, causing you to look up from your phone.
“Nah, what’s up?”
“My shoulder hurts.” Bucky stated awkwardly, but at least it was true, his shoulder did always hurt.
You smirked, knowing what he wanted. “My hands are magic, huh?”
“You’re mildly okay.” He scoffed.
“No, no. I’ve gotta be a real good masseuse to have mr James Barnes begging for more.”
Bucky shrugged. “Well, I’d rather ask you than Sam. Or psycho.”
“So I’m your favorite, is what I’m hearing?” You questioned playfully.
“Hell no, I hate you all equally.”
“Really? You like me and Zemo equally?”
“Good point….I like him better.”
You dramatically gasped and feigned offense. “I hope your shoulder hurts like a bitch.”
“It does.” Bucky stated, his tone not even sarcastic this time.
You laughed as you sat up and patted the bed. “Come here.”
Bucky felt the nervousness wash out of his body and internally cheered at your notion. He sat on the bed side and you positioned yourself on your knees behind him. You silently began to work your magic on his body, relieving tension every second and placing him in a quiet paradise.
He liked that about you, about spending time with you…the fact that you didn’t have to talk. Chatting wasn’t necessary to enjoy his company and he appreciated it, because if Bucky was honest with himself, conversing wasn’t a strength he possessed. Anything beyond mission talk or teasing, and his brain would shut down, taking it seemingly 1-3 business days to reboot.
You never pressured him into opening up more nor were you like everyone else, who made off handed comments about how he should be more social. You just understood and accepted, which graciously provided Bucky with a sense of comfort.
After a while, your hands slipped away and returned back to towards your own body. Bucky turned to look at you and you flashed him a tiny smile to indicate you were done.
He nodded in understanding and shifted a bit as if he was going to leave, however you spoke up. “Thinkin bout watchin a movie, you can stay and watch it with me if you want.”
“Yeah, uh, sure.” His agreement was quiet and monotonous.
When you adjusted yourself on the bed and leaned against the headboard, your bicep brushed against his. You settled close enough to his body that your arm remained lightly touching him and your thigh was about to ghost him. Any time you moved slightly, you’d somehow unintentionally touch him.
You seemed rather unbothered by the lack of personal space, your eyes were glued to the screen. Bucky’s were glued to you, a pounding startled his chest from the faint contact. So minimal but to him it felt so intimate.
Soaking in that tiny bit of shared space made a light bulb turn on in his brain. He
realized then what he was wanting so badly…to feel you.
He felt ashamed, he bit down his lip and a crimson color creeped over his face, but you didn’t notice due to your attention being elsewhere. His own head was screaming at him though, berating him for being a creep who wanted to touch his coworker.
It was like a craving though, something that wouldn’t die. Sure, he couldn’t ask without it being the awkwardest thing in the world and result in an upfront rejection. He certainly couldn’t just hold you without permission. But he could give himself a little taste right? It wouldn’t be so wrong to ‘unknowingly’ let his thigh skim yours if he shifted a bit to ‘get comfortable’.
So Bucky did just that, and you didn’t mind, you didn’t bat an eye, you stayed like that for the rest of the movie. He let himself have that tiny win, that itty bitty taste of the most delectable dessert. It’d suffice and fufill his need.
Except it didn’t.
The desire for you ate away at him over the next few days, it clawed up through his chest and was desperate to break free. Your normal presence wasn’t enough for some reason. It wasn’t enough to just talk with you, or sit next to you for a meal, or stay by your side on the mission.
He wanted to feel you. Bucky couldn’t look at you without thinking about it, without imagining your hand in his or your arms around his waist. This escalated to when his mind was too overwhelmed with demons, it started to comfort itself with illusions of you. Fantasies of you being there to tell him it’s okay, as you bring your warmth up against his body, tenderly putting him at ease with your compassion.
In those passing days, he started to accidentally bump into you in the hall way, or reach for something at the same time so your fingers would brush. As the mission continued, Bucky started to give you pats on the back when you did well, or elbow you when teasing. If he was walking beside you, he occasionally would swing his hand a bit so it’d ‘mistakenly’ graze yours.
Each time was like a short high, his mind turned to mush and his heart skipped a beat. He’d never show that these little ‘accidents’ had an effect on him. He’d sometimes have to grimace to hold back his impending smiles, to keep himself collected and not seem like a complete fool.
He started asking you to go on walks with him when he was bored, and eventually would even come to your guest room before bed to hang out.
That’s when he realized despite wanting to touch you so badly, he was okay with just looking, just observing and admiring you. He thought you were so beautiful and took in every part, all the littlest things, the way your nose crinkled when you laughed, the curve of your lashes and the way your eyes popped when light hit your iris. He liked your hair, and the way you slightly parted your lips when you were in thought. He appreciated the outline of your figure and the skin that showed when your shirt rid up.
He liked listening to you talk, your voice was melodic to him and your words always captivated his entire attention, nothing else could be more interesting than what you had to say. Anything that came from your mind was golden in his opinion. He thought you were the damn funniest person and loved how often you joked with him, you were sure to always bring a smile to his face. Bucky was gone for you.
Your friendship blossomed further, your bond was stronger than before. Thanks to you and Sam’s joint effort in re-exposing Bucky to socialization, he’d learned to come out of his shell over those weeks. He stopped being so reclusive, even if he stayed on the quiet side, he attempted to be around others because in small amounts, it actually made him feel good. He started sharing more of himself with you and Sam, even Sarah, allowing you all to get closer and pushing his fears aside. He started to laugh more often, it didn’t feel so foreign in his mouth anymore.
Much to Bucky’s surprise, he didn’t have to move past his invisible attempts at tactility because with time, you were the one who made the leap to further intimacy, and hell, he was glad. Glad to finally know what it was like to feel your warm embrace and even more so to know that you wanted it, you wanted him.
The first time you actually hugged him was after leaving Sarah’s house and parting ways at the airport. You dropped your luggage, then wrapped your arms tightly around him and snuggled your body up against his. It had caught Bucky off guard, he initially froze at the unexpected gesture before he slowly returned it. He thought his whole heart, his entire being, was going to melt into a puddle. You stayed in his arms for a bit longer than necessary, like you were savoring it as much as he was.
“For being so moody all the time, you give really good hugs”, is what you mumbled against his collarbone.
After that, hugs became a common greeting and goodbye between you two. They then transformed into more, you’d lay your head on his shoulder if you were seated next to him or mess with his hair, you’d even playfully wrestle with him.
The more open you were, the more relaxed Bucky became with fulfilling that craving he had. He started to put his arm around you, you took that as a notion to start cuddling with him at any given chance. You’d always nuzzle your head into his chest or call dibs on the position of big spoon. You became incredibly tactile, always touching each other, in any platonic form.
Then there was the first time you held hands.
Oh god, did that do Bucky in. It was at a PR dinner, celebrating Sam’s title of Captain America and giving him a grand introduction to the world. Pictures, interviews, all the good stuff. Beyond supporting your friend though, the two of you along with Joaquin were asked to come for good press as well. Cap’s crew needed to make their formal debut.
It was nice, the lavish food and elegant venue, the even gowns and tuxedos. It was an interesting change of pace for friends who typically hung out at home with some beers. It would’ve have been a perfectly nice time if wasn’t for three grueling reporters, who poisoned things with their nasty venom.
Comments and questions about the winter soldier went flying, the first were mild but they grew into much more vindictive words. It eventually was shut down, they got bored of hearing answers of how utterly normal Bucky was. He gave them no reaction, his demeanor was chillingly cool and unbothered.
On the inside he was writhing, a goddamn anxious mess, and with every question his head became more brutal of a place to be in. He was good at masking though, great, a talent even. The last thing he wanted was to make a scene, to give them a reaction, to be humiliated further by display how easily triggered he was.
You knew. He had no idea how but you did; you always did, you could read him like a book with merely a single glance. He swore you had some secret power or something, because logically you shouldn’t have been able to see how hurt and anxious he was; but you did.
You didn’t say a single word. You subtly reached under the table and took his hand. Your grasp was firm yet tender, your thumb soothed over his skin in circular ministrations. It was a private comfort, you reassured him without anyone else’s knowledge of it.
It brought him a sense of calm he couldn’t understand. There was no logic for how a simple hand on his could put him at such ease, more than that even. It was as if everything else just stopped, as if nothing mattered except the way your soft palm and delicate fingers transferred their affection and support to him, sending a bush of warmth to his heart and an explosion of dopamine in his brain.
He knew you had to feel something to in that moment. Anything. That was the only time he questioned if your touch was more than platonic, if he meant something more to you.
Bucky decided against that however. It was a silly little hope derived from the spindle of thread his own crush left behind. You wanting him just wasn’t viable, but a man could dream and also could take as much as he could get.
Bucky got as close to you as possible without pushing that boundary into romance that he knew you very much would not want.
He immersed in all little things, all the soft touches, heartfelt laughs, and allowed himself to pretend you loved him. Just for a moment each time, just to get that rush of serotonin that filled his brain and butterflies that filled his belly. It was nice to imagine even if it wasn’t true.
As the months started to pass by, you learned his soul, and he learned yours. Bucky hadn’t felt so open and free with a person in decades.
You were there on his good days. When he felt like going out in public, when he cracked lots of dry jokes and sparred with you. The days when he’d talk your ear off, ranting like crazy about how he hates rap music and how coke tasted better in the 40s.
But you were also there for the bad. The times when the missions were triggering, the times his nightmares got too bloody and his memories too violent. You were there for the panic attacks, the days he didn’t even feel like showering, the moments he got too angry and aggressive.
You’d seen it all and never judged, still stayed by his side. With tears running down his face, as his body quivered, you had cupped his jaw warmly and brushed your thumb over his teardrops. You cradled the back of his head and brought it into your chest, holding him tightly when he broke down more after your gentle gesture.
Being with you, even just talking to you over the phone, was equivalent to coming home after a long day of work. Bucky loved you with his whole being.
He never let himself be delusional though, he had to remember that you were just friends. He simply pushed down the detrimental thoughts that came along with that knowledge, he had too much negativity in that head of his already.
As long as you were in his life, it didn’t matter if you were his girl. You’d always be there either way and that’s all he needed.
Except Bucky didn’t take one thing into consideration.
He never thought about you getting a boyfriend, he never considered the idea of another man taking his spot in your life, taking you away from him. Until you told him you were going on a date that is.
Some random man you met in a coffee shop and he gave you his number. You’d apparently been texting for a week when he asked you out. Bucky was appalled at the idea of you being interested in a guy you’d met once. Appalled and green with envy, that is. However he’d told you over the phone, “that’s great”, and pretended as if he supported it.
But it ate at him. Nagged him to death, the idea of you sitting at dinner with someone else, finding him handsome and charming, the absolute nightmare it would be if you liked him. That random getting to learn about about you, to hear you talk about yourself, to admire your beauty, and god forbid, touch you in anyway.
The more Bucky imagined the possibilities, the more chill he lost. By the end of the week, he’d drove himself berserk, and Sam was the one to suffer a two hour phone call filled with Bucky’s confessions (which he was already well aware of) and dramatic ranting. All of which, he responded to with “Man, quit flipping your shit and just tell her you like her.”
Which was great advice. In theory, that is, because Bucky had decided that it was a set up for a soul-crushing rejection that he wouldn’t be able to withstand. So he said he’d do nothing. He’d just suck it up, let you have your date, and try to be happy for you.
He lied. Bucky changed his mind on a whim that Saturday night and found himself knocking at your door, which soon was opened hesitantly.
“Uh, hey?” You said, staring at him quizzically.
Bucky pushed past you and let himself in your apartment, while you stared in bewilderment.
Your eyes narrowed as they followed his form, you then shut the door behind him, still a bit surprised at his sudden appearance. “Why are you here?”
Bucky looked you up and down, real slow with his eyes taking their time on each part of you as if he was hypnotized by you. “You look nice.” He mumbled, still dazzled by how pretty you looked.
“Thanks, answer my question.” You insisted hastily and it brought him back to his right mind.
“Wanted to hang out with you.” Bucky blankly answered and shrugged before sitting on your couch.
“Okay, for one, I’ve told you a thousand times that you can’t just show up here and put me on the spot. And two, you know I have a date tonight.”
Your eyebrows crumpled in half annoyance and half disbelief at his audacity. “And I gotta be at the restaurant in like 20 minutes. Get your ass out so I can lock up.” You demanded, gesturing at him then the door.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna stay right here.”
Getting impatient with his antics, your voice rose to a higher pitch. “Whatever, stay then. Don’t eat my whole fucking fridge again and if you leave before I get back, lock the door.” You told them proceeded to start gathering your belongings.
“You shouldn’t go, Y/N.”
“Cancel your date.” Bucky suggested in a way that sound more like an order.
He stared at you for a moment, racking his brain for a reason. “Because…it’s not safe.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” You sighed exasperatedly.
“It’s dangerous. That guy could be a creep, kidnap you or something.” Bucky suggested with loads of faux concern, evidence in his lack of eye contact.
You aggressively laughed and accompanied it with an incredulous head shake. “I’m a goddamn avenger and I’ve kicked your ass multiple times, I think I can hold my own. You do realize how absolutely absurd you sound, right?”
“What if he’s secretly some kinda super villain? Then what are you gonna do?” Bucky countered, eyes widened theatrically.
“Yep, Jacob the accountant is totally super villain material.” You sassed.
“I don’t trust him. Even his job is criminal cause it’s so boring. That’s why I’m not letting you go.” Bucky’s tone shifted to one more serious and angry, as did his facial expression.
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about.” You spat then rolled your eyes and picked your purse up. “And I don’t know why you care about who I date so much but I’m gonna be late, goodbye Bucky.”
“Hold on a minute.”
You slid past him through the door way and trotted towards the elevator. He failed so miserably in his attempt but he couldn’t just let you go. He’d rather lose you knowing he tried than to just give you away to another man. It was now or never.
“Fuck it.” He mumbled to himself and ran after you.
Bucky grabbed you by the arm and pulled you in, the his lips crashed quickly onto yours. His tongue dipped on to yours and they weaved together. He melted into you, It was rushed, passionate and also a bit messy, but most of all, full of pent up affection. It poured out of Bucky and onto you during every second his mouth was on yours.
There was a moment of silence afterwards, just the two of you becoming lost in each other’s soft, adoring gaze. Neither one knew what to say. You were too stunned to speak, Bucky was too afraid of the repercussions of his own impulsivity. He knew he had to explain himself though, so he put on his best brave face.
“Y/N, I can’t let you see another guy because I- god…I-I’m in love with you, okay?” He broke out anxiously, every little fear being evident in his eyes.
You looked at him through your lashes with a loose smile. “It’s about time.”
“I didn’t actually like that dude, I just thought you weren’t interested and figured I should try to move on. Luckily, I was wrong.” You laughed and then said more tenderly, “I’m all yours, Bucky, I always have been.”
𝕳𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝕹𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙
Pairing: Bucky Barnes × Reader
Summary: Bucky tells you that you're no sweet dream but a hell of a night.
Word count: 2.6k
Warning: Poorly written smut (+18 only, please), hate sex (?), unprotected sex (don't do that, kids. be responsible), size kink, fingering, mentions of an oral (m), cockwarming at the end. And I think that's it.
A/N: This is all self-indulgent because today's my birthday and it's my gift to myself because it took me ages to finish it and it's finally done so, yay! As always, lack of vocabulary and grammatical mistakes abound. *apologizes in español*. Let me know your guys' thoughts. I love that shit.
ᴺᵒᵗ ᵐʸ ᵍⁱᶠ ¯ ᶜʳᵉᵈⁱᵗˢ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜʳᵉᵃᵗᵒʳ
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You let out as soon as Bucky slammed the door shut behind him.
“With me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” He debated, taking his tie off and throwing it aside as if to breathe better. “You were supposed to take the target outside so I could interrogate him.”
“No, you wanted me to take him out so you could interrogate him. I was ordered to get the information without raising suspicion or causing a scene, which you did! This mission was supposed to be subtle.”
Getting rid of the hundreds of pins in your hair, you saw Bucky clenching his fists through the small mirror hanging on the wall. “Yeah, and your way of persuading him was so subtle.” He chuckled at his implication, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What?” Leaving your hair fall to your shoulders, you turned to him. Hands in your hips and a challenging grimace on your face.
“I'm just wondering how you got him to tell you everything.”
Your guy was fool enough to believe you were only a girl looking for a good time. He took you to the VIP section of the club to have more privacy, and after some minutes of him talking about his wealth and how he'd have you coming back for more, it took him only a couple more drinks and for you to sit in his lap to tell you everything about the big assault he and his friends had planned to double their illicit fortunes.
But everything went to hell when Bucky “I Don't Like Being Left Out” Barnes stormed in, ready to kick the shit out of the guy because he thought you may have been in danger.
A dozen armed men followed him past the chain dividing the club and you had to fight your way out and to the security house you'd have to stay for three more days.
“You're not the charming one here, Barnes.” You kicked your shoes off, feet thanking the relief of not being trapped in those heels any longer. “I can be very persuasive.”
“Yeah, dressed up like that, you bet that's true.”
And he was not wrong. The vibrant red, strapless dress was held together by two shoe-like laced strings on the sides, the skirt was short enough to let little to the imagination and the pronounced cleavage made you question if it was going to keep everything in place once on.
“A man would do pretty much anything to have a beautiful woman.” From under the skirt, you took out your only unused knife and tossed it on top of the pile of bobby pins. “Which he thought I was.”
Your mocking comments only served to piss Bucky off even more. None of that would have happened, the mission wouldn't have been compromised if you had listened to him and did what he asked you to do.
“Then I should have left you there.” That granted him your full attention. Inquisitive eyes asking him to elaborate. “Let him deal with you to see if he could stand you for more than a night.”
Bile grew on your stomach and started raising up your throat, making it burn. But you wouldn't fall for his provocations, not that easy.
So you inhaled deeply and said, “Believe me, he was looking forward to it. Bet he's gonna dream of me for the rest of the week.”
You started to make your way to the small bathroom to clean yourself when his somber chuckle stopped you dry.
“What's so funny?” You turned to him, watching him shorten the distance with you until you were face to face again.
Bucky shook his head in amusement, a devilish spark on his eyes.
“You may look like a dream.” His lip was twitched upwards, a scowl of pure disgust all over his face as he eyed you up and down. “But you're a fucking nightmare.”
He was close enough for you to smell the bourbon he drank before you had to leave the club, to see the intense blue of his eyes trying to burn a hole in your skull, and you couldn't help but to wonder how his plump lips would feel between your teeth.
“That would explain why you're always wandering sleepless at night.” You tilted your head, as if you had just understood the mysteries of the universe. “Too afraid of your subconscious betraying you--”
His vibranium fingers dug in your chin as he stamped you against the nearest wall, lifting your face up so you could see his enraged expression.
“What are you saying?”
“That maybe, I not only make you scream out of fear in your dreams.” You forced your head to the front, taking advantage of Bucky's strength faltering. “But out of pleasure too.”
And he gave you the reason when, by talking a handful of your hair, he crashed his lips on yours roughly.
You reciprocated, not only to the kiss –sucking on Bucky's lip and letting your tongue fight his, but also by tugging at his hair too.
Grunts and moans filled the air with each movement of your heads, trying to drink more of each other, but refusing to let go of your grips.
The anger you had accumulated in your body was quickly replaced with the fire of lust. Pure and burning desire for Bucky to tear your dress in shreds and have his way with you.
“You really believe I dream of you?” He asked in between kisses, left hand leaving your chin to find your waist, keeping you in place as he pressed his semi hard member to your hip. “You think too highly of yourself.”
His lips made their way down your jaw and to the crook of your neck, where he sucked, surely leaving more than just one mark.
“I'm not the one having wet dreams with you, Barnes.” Your hand sneaked inside his trousers and past his boxers, easily finding his cock, which you started stroking slowly. “Tell me,” His lips had stopped their assault, heavy breaths hitting your skin with each movement of your hand. “Is this as good as you imagined?” Your thumb brushed his tip, smearing it with the pre cum he was already leaking. “Or am I just disappointing you here?” You squeezed only enough to have him coming back to reality.
With more force than you anticipated, Bucky freed himself of your torturous palming and pinned your hands above your head, restricting your attempts to keep teasing him.
“You're a pain in the ass.” He snarled on your lips, as if he wanted to make sure you'd swallow his words.
“Quite literally.” You mocked, benefiting from his grip on your wrists and jumping to lock your legs around his waist and dig your talons on his lower back. “What're you gonna do about it, huh?”
But the smirk adorning your features wouldn't last long; Bucky easily took the few steps needed to reach one of the beds and let you fall on top of it. The bouncing of your body on the mattress, wrinkling your dress just above your waist.
“You'll see what I'm going to do about it.” Bucky discarded both his button-up shirt and trousers as he stood dangerously close to the bed, letting you see the well formed tent in his boxers.
When he got rid of his last piece of clothing, revealing his full length, hard and ready and glorious, your mouth watered and your pussy throbbed. From that previous sneak peek, you knew he was big, but seeing him, his red tip, that vein you'd kill to run your tongue on… it was a whole other level.
Even if you wanted, you couldn't take your eyes away from his cock, imagining how it'd feel between your lips, its weight on your tongue and the bittersweet taste of him on your throat as you made him cum with only your mouth.
“Like what you see?” His ego was all over the roof when he asked.
“I've seen better.” You both knew that was a lie, but by the way Bucky clenched his jaw, you were sure he was not pleased with your answer.
You saw him climbing on the bed, but you didn't quite register what it meant until he hurriedly unlaced one side of the dress and opened it as if it was a book cover and you, the story to be read.
The dress was meant to work as a second skin, too tight that not even your soul would fit inside, which meant that the presence of your so-called panties as the only thing underneath it was well justified.
Bucky scoffed, dragging you to the edge of the bed by your talons. He ran a finger along your pussy over the silky material, making you gasp. “You may not have wet dreams,” He yanked the panties down your legs, fist closed around them as he directed them to his nose to inhale your scent. “But you sure as hell are soaked for me.”
Before you could think of a response, his hand was back between your legs, parting your lips and collecting your juices in his fingers as he teased your bud.
“Oh!” You let out when his thick finger entered you. The cold metal, warming against your walls as he pumped it in and out.
You closed your eyes, your own hands finding your nipples to play with them as you enjoyed the stimulation Bucky was giving to you.
“Gorgeous.” You heard him whisper before adding a second finger. He'd scissor and curl them, preparing you for the real thing.
Peeking one eye open, you saw Bucky's gaze fixated in your center and how your lips would swallow his digits with a soft wet sound.
Only when he felt your walls starting to flutter and your moans felt heavier did he let go, leaving you panting in need and desperation for a release.
He watched his fingers, all covered in your dampness and he debated between tasting you in them or making you lick them clean so you could give your mouth a good use.
Deciding that he'd have three days to do that and much more, he simply settled for taking his cock in hand to stroke it, lubricating it with your arousal.
That was it. The second he positioned between your legs and started running his tip all over your pussy until, eventually it pushed just past your entrance, you were sure he wouldn't fit.
“Fuck!” You whined, feeling him stretching you out more and more as he entered. “You're so fucking big.” The words left your mouth before you could stop them.
And Bucky didn't give you time to even regret saying them.
“But you can take it, can't you?” Watching you struggle to allow all of him in you, with your lips parted and the undeniable hurtful yet full of desire expression written all over your face, it was taking all of him not to bottom out in a single, fast thrust. “After all, you've had better.”
The little shit! You knew what he was doing. He wanted you to admit he was better than anyone else you had been with. But you wouldn't make it easy for him to get that confession, at least not that much easy.
“Way better.” You moaned.
But that was not the answer he was expecting again.
With a fluid movement, Bucky snapped his hips to the front, gaining a raw moan to erupt from your throat.
He wasted no time, owning a pace that had the bed squeaking, threatening to break at any moment from his forceful thrusts.
“Oh, God!” Your hands flew to his shoulders, trying to hold onto him for dear life as he kept pounding. Your nails, biting on his flesh and trying to scratch the metal with long stripes that would mirror the ones on his right shoulder blade.
Harsh breaths left Bucky's lips with each thrust, accompanying your every moan. His lips found a place in your jaw, and when his teeth grazed your skin and you clenched around him, he wouldn't forget that.
A series of kisses and stripes of his tongue on your throat had you almost seeing stars. The smell of sex and Bucky's body wash mixed was intoxicating, a combination that was destined to drive you crazy.
“Taking my cock so well.” He grunted, his hand finding a space between your bodies to apply just the right amount of pressure over your clit to have your hips jolting, searching his touch. “You feel so good around me, I don't think I'm letting you go.” He circled his fingers, repeatedly drawing an infinite symbol. “Imma be buried in this sweet pussy for the rest of our time here.” A particularly hard thrust followed his statement, your whine automatically letting him know that you agreed with his terms. “You'll be so full of my cock that you won't know how much time passes until we have to go.”
His words were pure torture. The pictures he painted in your brain, of him fucking you in every corner of the safe house, of you riding his cock until your body gave in, of him making you cum over and over only to have you begging for more right after…
There was nothing in the world that you wanted more than to make all those scenarios a reality.
“Ha!” You managed to hide a wail behind the sarcastic laugh. “I never took you for a romantic, Barnes.” Your hands roamed around his back, exploring his muscles and asking him to keep going. “You always like this with the ladies?”
“Only with the ones I wanna break in half.” He left a tender kiss on your shoulder, a contrasting gesture that felt just right.
And even though you understood the implications of Bucky's words, you said, “Then, what's stopping you?”
His smirk served as your only warning before he started hammering into you like a man possessed. The relentless rhythm with which he fucked you, reflected in both the slapping sounds of skin on skin and the delicious squelch your juices would create every time his cock made its way inside you.
With each slap of his hips, he was taking you closer to your orgasm. You could feel it in your bones, the rising need, the desperation to fall apart, the urge of taking him down with you.
“Let go now.” His fingers went side to side in your bundle of nerves, tightening the knot in your lower belly. “Show me you can follow instructions; cum for me.”
And the order sent you over the edge.
As your orgasm hit you, taking all the air out of your lungs and making you curl your toes, you felt Bucky twitching, still pounding into you, searching for his own release. And you were going to help him.
On purpose you clenched, squeezing Bucky hard, making him grunt as he faltered. A few more thrusts and he spilled, cock softening but still buried deep inside you.
He let his weight fall on you before rolling in the bed, taking you with him so you'd still be connected.
Both of you were panting. The sound of your heavy breathings and the cars passing by outside, filling the room.
Until you heard Bucky laughing.
“Can't believe all it took was for me to call you a nightmare.” He caressed your back delicately. “Should have done that ages ago.”
To that, you sat up straight, straddling him and looking down at his confused eyes.
“You really wanna know how much of a nightmare I can be?” There was no malice in your voice, only a challenging tone that matched the slow way you started moving up and down Bucky's renewed hard member.
“Let's find out.” And as his hands guided your pace, you knew you wouldn't dream of anything else ever again.
— Everything We Never Wanted | B.Barnes
pairing; bucky barnes x reader.
summary; bucky barnes and you have been silently competing since the day you met. now you were competing over who can make the other more jealous and the both of you can't help but give in. [кукла=doll]
word count; 2.9k.
warnings; smut [fingering, fingering cum back in?, p in v, ass slapping, hair pulling, rough sex, mirror/bathroom sex], language, angst [punching, blood, shoving].
Do NOT copy, repost, translate or rewrite my work.
— "jealousy was a good look on him".
It was your dress. It truly was. The way it lifted up your thigh every time you swayed your hips was driving Bucky crazy. If he knew that you would be acting out this way he would've never let you enter the doors of the party. He would have stripped your clothes off right there and fucked you until you couldn't walk. He would have made the whole block hear your moans as you both couldn't give less of a fuck that you were on full display. You wouldn't care. As long as you were with each other, everything would be fine.
But now, seeing you brush up against Steve and allow his hands to graze your curves ignited something in Bucky that he found himself feeling quite often when it came to you. He was using every muscle in his body to hold him back from tearing into Steve's throat with his metal arm.
Control yourself Bucky.
Dancing with the blond's hands running along your waist you can feel Bucky's eyes watching your every movement. Jealousy seeps out of each of his pores and you can't help but feel glee. Just as you bring your head closer to Steve's and rest it along his cheek, Bucky's had enough.
Next thing you know Bucky's finger is in the air and calling over a stripper. You watch attentively as she walks up to him, her hips swaying as he smirks your way. "Hey, you alright"? Steve's voice snaps you out of your trance and the eye contact between Bucky and you breaks in a matter of a second. You look up at Steve as his eyes completely undress you as if his hands weren't doing enough. "Yeah no, I'm good". You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, nuzzling against his head. As the both of you move to the beat of the music you lock eyes with Bucky once again and you watch as the girl wearing neon green sits down beside him and runs her hands up his thighs. Anger flows through your veins and it's enough to get you convicted for murder but you can't.
Buckys playing a game that you intend to win.
You move your hands on top of Steve's and place them on your lower back. "Like what you feel"?
"You wanna feel lower"?
His eyes light up at that and without another word needing to be said he moves his palms to your ass and squeezes with a tight grip, one that has Bucky moving the dancer off of him and striding up to you with an aura of pure anger around him.
"Steve back up," you warn as you try to shove the blond before Bucky has the opportunity to do anything but you don't move him in time. Just as you're about to stop him, Bucky's fist makes contact with Steve's cheek and Steve hits him back. A group of men rush over to separate the two and Bucky makes sure to get one final punch in before he has your wrist in his grip and is dragging you to the restroom.
"Let go of me James!" you yell over the music as you try to release yourself from him.
He ignores you and swings open the door to the men's room, shoving you up against the wall.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing"? He speaks in a calm manner but you can see through his facade. His flared nostrils and forehead vein give away his true state and you can't help but smirk.
"Is this funny to you"?
"A little" you answer through your eyelashes and the innocence in your voice has his cock growing against his pants and his patience running short. "I'm not in the mood for your games кукла".
"Games"? You laugh in Bucky's face as if he just told you the joke of the century. "I wasn't the one with the stripper practically undressing me".
"Oh because having Steve grab your ass is much different". Sarcasm reeks from him.
Just as you're about to hit him with a comeback, your eyes wander to his forehead and you see the bruise on his temple. Your hand immediately grabs his chin and turns it to the side. "What are you-". You don't give Bucky a chance to finish his question before you harshly release his jaw.
“Sit down,” you mumble as you push him onto the sink. You take a roll of toilet paper in your hand and roll out a few sheets.
You turn the faucet of a neighbouring sink on and groan when it only creaks. “Shit. There’s no water,” you mumble, irritated.
“Use your spit”.
“That’s not hygienic,” you reply disgusted.
He shrugs and you lick your finger. You start to wipe the blood off and squint knowing that it must burn.
“Why are you doing that?” Bucky asks confused.
“Why am I doing.. what?”
“With your face. You’re squishing it together. It’s weird.” he laughs.
You roll your eyes and straighten out your face.
He keeps staring you in the eyes and it bubbles something within you.
He slowly shakes his head while still maintaining eye contact.
“You’re staring,” You say still wiping the blood off of his temple.
“Shamelessly so, yes,” he replies, electric blue eyes piercing through your umber ones.
You can’t help but smile “God, you could’ve gotten seriously hurt. And over what? A stupid competition”.
"There was never a competition".
"There's always a competition". You don't miss a beat. "I mean that's kind of our thing".
Bucky's mood instantly lightens as you tell him about the special connection between the two of you. He feels like he could listen to your voice for hours. Hell, he'd kill to listen to your voice for hours.
"We have a thing"?
Scrunching the used tissue into a ball, you throw it into the trash bin. Your inner kid frowns as the paper doesn't make it into the bin.
"Yeah." you laugh as you go to pick it up. "Everything we do is against each other. And don't even lie about it," you warn with a finger in the air.
"Come're" Bucky speaks and you walk towards him. "Give me some examples".
"Okay well let me think.." you put a finger on your chin as you fake being deep in thought. "Oh! What about when we were at a party and tried to out provoke each other not mere minutes ago". Bucky would like nothing more than to kiss that self-approving smirk right off of your face.
"Come on кукла. I'm being serious".
"Alright" you sigh as you get ready to present him with your list. "Well we competed on who would get to go on that mission to infiltrate the HYDRA base. And the White House. And the Queen's Ball".
"Those were all life-threatening examples Y/N".
You stay silent. He's right. You made sure to go out of your way to take over or at the very least join in on missions that could have Bucky ending up dead and he did the same. You were realizing that you cared for each other and it scares you.
New territory always has.
"I don't like you Bucky". You finally speak when you realize that his hands have made their way down to your waist.
"That's okay," he assures you calmly.
"As a matter of fact, I fucking hate you"! Your voice starts to get louder and anger starts to bubble within you although you're not sure exactly what you're angry about.
"That's okay," he speaks again.
"I fucking hate you and your stupid voice and your stupid mouth and your stupid... hair". You blabber out as you shove your hands into his chest. "God I hate you so much"!
"Stop saying that it's okay! Argue back asshole!" you yell, this time shoving him so hard his back smacks onto the mirror.
"Argue back!" you hit him again.
"Argue back!" and again.
"Argue back". Without enough energy to carry out your past actions, you just relax your shoulders in exhaustion and Bucky immediately gets up and pulls you into a hug.
Bucky's arms hold you tight and at that moment it feels as if all of your problems suddenly transformed into no more than minor inconveniences.
"I don't even know what I'm upset about." you confess into his chest.
"Would you hate me for real if I said 'it's okay'?" he jokes as he lets go of you.
"I would" you smile, running a hand through your hair.
The both of you stand there for a second and reflect. Both of you want each other. Want to devour in each other's tastes and scents, but the one thing you share in common is the fear you hold of ruining what you already have.
You place your index and middle fingers onto Bucky's peck and slowly move them upwards. He immediately takes in a sharp breath and darkens his eyes. His lip tugs under his teeth as his eyelids flutter. "What're you doing sweetheart"?
All you do is smile innocently as you bring your hands up to cradle his face. Pulling his head down to meet your mouth you make sure to let your lips brush against the lobe of his ear. "I’m not wearing any underwear. Thought you’d like to know". The purity in your whisper sends a shiver up his spine.
"You're not making this easy for me кукла," Bucky growls as his grip around your waist tightens.
"Give in James. Please. I need you so bad." you whine as you take his earlobe between your teeth and suck on his skin.
Your actions finally bring him to his breaking point. He picks you up and places you down on the sink, the water droplets soak through the fabric of your dress and to your skin. Without any hesitation, Bucky presses his lips against yours and you do the same back. The kiss is harsh but in a good way. It's full of love yet so much aggression and it's the type that has your hands reaching for his face. His stubble brushes against your skin as his tongue slips into your mouth and glides along your teeth. You moan into Bucky's parted lips as you push your hips up to his and feel his hard-on up against your cunt.
He grunts in between kisses when you start to roll your hips. "кукла fuck".
When you finally give him a segway, Bucky brings his middle and ring fingers to your face and pops them in your mouth. Once he's convinced that your tongue has done sufficient, Bucky slips his fingers out with ease and motions for you to lift your dress.
Once the silk is rolled up your thighs Bucky runs the tips of his fingers up and down your soaking slick. His chest fills with heat as he sees your eyebrows scrunch in anticipation.
You need his fingers and he wants nothing more than to give them to you.
"Yes. Yes! God just hurry James".
"That's what I like to hear". Bucky smirks before shoving his fingers into your little hole, watching as you move up the sink and adjust around his digits.
Your hand wraps around the back of his neck, pulling him closer so that the only thing separating the two of you is the sink. Bucky can't help but tell you how good you're doing by sucking on your neck when your moans and whines fill the air. It's music to his ears to hear how wet you are just by his fingers alone.
As you feel his fingers curl against your g spot you can't help but tug at the locks of Bucky's hair. That earns you a faster pace.
The coil in your stomach tightens and you don't know how much longer you're going to last. "James oh my- feels so good"!
You're moaning his name over and over again as your back arches closer to Bucky's chest. "You're doin' so well".
"Feels so fucking good" you repeat as you throw your head back.
Hearing his endless praises sends you off your edge and an orgasm like never before hits your body. Waves of pleasure ripple through you and your thigh shakes under Bucky's metal palm as you try to squeeze your legs together only for them to be pulled apart by the metallic mechanism.
"James" you whine, still trying to press your thighs together as you come down from your high.
"Can't let you do that sweetheart. I wanna see this pretty little pussy of yours before I destroy it with my cock".
"James please". You're practically begging him to hurry up as he fumbles to pull his pants down and once they finally are, he pulls you off of the sink and spins you around. You bend as you watch him roll your dress up in the mirror. His eyes light up when he catches sight of your dripping wet pussy. "Ah" you yelp when you feel his hand smackdown onto your ass leaving a burning sensation on the supple skin.
"Please just fuck me".
"My pleasure". With that Bucky lines his cock up with your entrance and meets your eyes for an answer. His hips ease into you as soon as you nod your head. You hiss as he waits for you to give him the go and when you do, it's the best feeling in the world. Hearing Bucky grunt through every thrust had your stomach filling with butterflies and he loves it. Seeing you look a mess all thanks to him not only strokes his ego but also confirms that you are all his now.
Bucky finally has what belongs to him.
Bucky finally has what's his and he doesn't plan on losing it.
"Don't think he can even help you now кукла. This was what you wanted, wasn't it? This is why you were acting out in front of my friends"?
"Yes, shit yes"!
"Just needed my cock to fill you up. S'that what it was"?
With his dick pounding in and out of you without mercy all you can manage is a nod.
"Yeah, it was". Smug bastard. "Why act up fuck when you can’t take it, huh”?
Bucky can feel you clenching down on him and he knows that you're close. He slides his left hand under the front of your dress and grabs your bare tits, messaging and tugging at your nipples.
His right-hand moves to your hair and he uses it to wrap your hair in a ponytail. Bucky tugs back on it as he feels himself draw closer to his release. Just as he's about to stop and check up on you Bucky catches you smirking back at him in the mirror earning you a slap on your ass.
God if only you knew what you did to him.
"James don't stop. Please just don't stop".
"Christ I love how you're sqeezin' down on me. Gonna milk this cock real good arent you кукла?" he grunts as he lowers himself to meet your ear.
"Gonna milk it. Gonna milk it James," you mumble absolutely cockdrunk out of your mind.
"Good girl. That's a good fucking girl". James can feel your walls flutter around him and he speeds up his pace. The sounds of your whines, Bucky's moans, skin slapping against skin, and the faint beat of the music fill the room as the both of you reach your highs.
With ripples of euphoria washing over you, again and again, you're finding it hard to concentrate. The restroom becomes a big blur of foggy white and your arms give out.
You thank every higher power that Bucky's arm swings under your body before you have a chance to slam into the dirty sink.
With his own orgasm hitting him and your thigh shaking, he finally has the opportunity to slide out of you and he watches as his cum drips out of your hole.
"Ah, кукла. You look so beautiful." he smiles as he spins you around and places you back onto the sink. "But we can't let that go to waste. Can we now"? Bucky's looking at you with the biggest innocent eyes as you don't know what he has in mind, but god are you in for the surprise.
"No" you reply matching his energy.
"No doll. No, we can't," he mumbles as his lips curve into a smirk. You lean back as you watch Bucky bring his index and middle finger back to your cunt and slide them in with no problem at all. He starts to pump his fingers in you, sliding his cum back inside of you, while attacking your lips with his own.
"Mmm James" you mumble as he bites on your lower lip.
"Ya'sweetheart"? Oh, he really is a bastard.
"Just like that". Your words make Bucky's eyes glimmer. Your lips slot open over his and he moves his kisses to your neck. He sucks on the skin so hard that you know he's going to leave marks. "Just a little more James. M'so close".
Hearing those words, Bucky's fingers speed up and curl against your velvet walls.
In a few more seconds, your eyes roll to the back of your head and your third orgasm hits you like a train. Your hands grip Bucky's biceps and he pulls you close to his chest to help you through your high.
Maybe there was a plus to jealousy.
— la fin.
please give feedback and reblog if you enjoyed.
@noorreads @giftedyoungster3000 @fictional-l0v3r @lauren0300 @missvelvetsstuff @nohuyck @broco8 @hanahkatexo @darlingimbroke @cassie-buckysbaby
bestie pls write a bff/roomate!bucky + mutual masterbating blurb i love him so much😭
-𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐥 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 || 𝐁.𝐁
Pairing: roommate!bucky x reader
Content warning: fluff, little angst, SMUT (mutual masturbation)
Word count: 2.9k
A/n: are you trying to kill me?… I kind of gave up at the end bc I was tired:( anyways, enjoy!!! masterlist
It happened one, two— far too many times. It started with small butterflies, shared glances, then it transitioned to small touches, shared kisses; those kisses somehow always ended in both our pants off, sweating and moaning, praising each other with curses.
Every time it happened, we swore it wouldn't happen again. Our friendship was too valuable. But someone always broke. It was either him or me, sneaking out of each other's rooms just to go about the day like we hadn't committed something sinful.
I sulked with a champagne glass between my fingers, ignoring the countdown in the background. People shouted along until it finally ended at zero, then everyone cheered; couples kissed, friends hugged— all I could think about was Bucky in that small ass apartment, spending New Years alone.
“Babe!” My friend yelled from across the room, approaching me with wobbly steps. “What’s your New Year’s resolution?” She slurred, wiggling a finger in front of my face.
“The realistic one or the unrealistic one?” I smiled.
Her lips pinched to the side, contemplating. “Surprise me!” She replied bubbly.
“To stop sleeping with my roommate,”
“And which one was that?”
I snorted, “we’ll never know.” I chugged down my champagne before getting dragged onto the living room floor to dance.
Truth was, I was determined to stop. Because all those nights keeping each other warm made me feel something else for him; it made me fall for him. Hard. Like I was on the tallest building and his soft voice calling my name was what tipped me over.
My heart cracked a tiny beat to hear him leave every night before the morning; acting normally throughout the day, until the night, then repeating the same thing all over again.
I didn’t know if he felt me the same way, and I wasn’t planning to risk our friendship over a feeling that I would forget in two to three years (if I was lucky).
One hangover and a flight from home to New York later, I found myself pushing my keys into the lock of our front door and opening it.
The familiar smell brought me comfort. It was unique. Bath & body works holiday candle unique, but the scent would always be engraved into my mind. It was our scent.
A cat meowed behind me, followed by another pair of keys jingling. I froze, already feeling the heat rush to my face and my hands growing clammy.
“You’re back.” He said breathlessly. The door shut.
A cat circled my legs, meowing for attention. I crouched down and set aside my luggage.
“Hi, Alpine, I missed you.” I cooed, scratching the back of his ear. He purred.
“Hoping you missed someone else too.” Bucky chuckled awkwardly. I straightened myself and forced a smile for him.
“A little.” I admitted, finally coming face to face with him. His eyes captured mine.
“Alpine missed you too.”
“I’m glad to hear.” I said.
It was hard not to stare. His hair grew a couple inches since I was gone, and I wasn’t gone for long. It fit him well, he looked handsome.
“I’m gonna-“—my back crashed into the island, I scurried around it and avoided his stare—“gonna get some sleep, I’m jet lagged.” I laughed, hoping it would hide the tremble in my voice.
“Sure, I’ll be out here-“
The door shut behind me. I was quick to lock it and flop face-first onto the bed to muffle a groan.
It was harder than I thought, and I thought it would be really hard. Sweat trickled his forehead and the neck of his shirt— I didn’t miss it. I was cursed to somehow notice every attractive detail about Bucky Barnes. His lips, his chest, his hair.
I’d eventually have to face him again, have long conversations with him, say good morning and night.
He was the only thing that racked my brain that whole week away— despite ignoring his messages; selfies with him and Alpine, followed with “alpine misses you” or “how’s it going?”
It was never I miss you.
It was the littlest thing that upset me and drove me to ignore him.
Yet he wasn’t at all ignored in conversations. I mentioned him to my family. They snapped their fingers, asking what was wrong. Instead of giving them a straight answer, I told them about Bucky.
Stories about how he does this annoying thing where he eats with his mouth open just to catch my attention, or how when we walk around the city, he always stops at a comic store, telling stories of when he was younger.
I would retell those stories to them, they would listen with wide smiles and stupid grins. The rest of the holiday, they teased me about my boyfriend.
But he wasn’t my boyfriend… yet he took complete and utter control of my mind, and I hated it.
The sound of the door knob rattling brought me to sit up, watching it turn side to side slowly as a shadow lingered. His shadow.
After a few seconds, he disappeared.
With a thrashing heart, I shut the front door just as he was exiting his bedroom. I stared at my phone throughout the day, wondering if he would send a message, or call. He didn’t.
But that’s what I wanted, right? This was easier for me.
By the time I was back from work, it was pouring outside. I was drenched, standing in front of our door again, trembling in damp clothes. I knew he was in there, for some reason, he always was when I came home.
Alpine’s meowing spilled through the door. He was never too fond of the rain— especially thunder.
I opened the door and Alpine hissed, cornering himself under a cabinet in the kitchen.
“Alpine, get over here please.” Bucky groaned from the living room. He got up in sweats and a Henley, his broad chest perfectly outlined through the shirt.
“Oh you’re home.” His eyes went from my feet to my head. “And soaked.” His voice raised, “Shit, how many times have I told you to pack an umbrella just in case? Did you leave it in your room? You’re gonna get sick.” He trailed off to the restroom. The faucet ran, then he came out with towel on his shoulder.
His hand took mine, leading me into the single bathroom. “Strip.” He said. I stared at him.
He wanted me to strip? In front of him?
“I’ll turn around if you want me to.” He huffed. He turned to the mirror with shut eyes.
It wasn’t like he’s never seen me naked— he’s probably licked every inch of my body…
I discarded every article of clothing, watching as Bucky kept his eyes closed. He was growing impatient, I could tell. His hands rested on his waist while his head tilted towards the ceiling. His breaths got heavier, slower, and he looked so fucking go—
“I don’t want you getting sick.” His voice softened. He peeked an eye open to look at the tub. He shut the faucet off quickly and turned back to me, not daring to look below my shoulders. He motioned to the tub and I stepped in, sliding down until the warm water stopped my shivering.
He left the bathroom and I let out the breath caught in my throat. But my heart still beat rapidly.
He came back with a stack of clothes in his hands, setting it on top of the toilet lid. “Dry clothes.” He attempted to leave the room, but I held him back by the hand.
“Alpine will be waiting for you.” Alpine “I made caramel popcorn,” my favorite “your favorite.”
He left, shutting the door behind him.
A dick, that’s what I was. Ignoring my best friend the last couple of days just to not end up in the same bed as him. Because I was afraid to get hurt— but I was just hurting us both.
I wrapped myself with the towel and creaked the door open, catching him cuddle next to Alpine with an arm stretched against the couch. A red bowl, filled to the brim with popcorn, sat on the coffee table. The whole apartment smelt like caramel, I missed it on my way in.
He made caramel popcorn. For me.
I rushed my pajamas on and strode into the living room. He stared straight into the television, not even sparing me a glance; not when I took the seat next to him, and not when Alpine crawled onto my lap from his side.
“You had your door locked last night.” He cut me off, voice monotone.
“And you ignored my texts during the holidays,” Then he looked at me. “Did I do something?”
“Then why are you avoiding me?” His voice raised. Alpine let out a small meow.
“I—” his eyes scanned my face, wandering a little longer on my lips. “Because of that!” He looked back at my eyes, brows creased. “You’re driving me insane with the looks, the touches, t-the kisses, I’m just so confused, Bucky.”
“Then let me help you understand.” he shook his head.
God, I felt like I was in marriage counseling. Alpine being the therapist with all the judgmental looks, bouncing his head from one to the other.
“Bucky…” I inhaled deeply, pleading my heart to slow down. “I love you— and not the friend love, the I-don’t-want-to-be-friends kind.” His brows furrowed, but he quickly caught on.
He nodded, letting the room fall quiet. Only the rain splatters and television noises leaked through. My heart finally steadied, but I feared the longer he stayed quiet, the tighter the knot in my stomach would grow.
He kept his stare on me, smile threatening to break on his face. “Jesus, that’s what you’ve been holing up?” He smirked. “You had me thinking you had cancer or something.” He laughed.
He laughed until a tear slipped down his cheek. I couldn’t help but crack a smile.
But my brows stayed furrowed. I still had a shit-ton of anxiety curling up inside me. His laugh let me loose only the tiniest bit.
He caught my tense shoulders and grabbed my hand. “I love you too,” he laid a kiss on the back of my palm, “and more than just a friend, more like I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you kind of way.”
Then that anxiety came crumbling down.
He reached for my chin and hovered his lips over mine, kissing me and slowly kneading his tongue through.
We’ve kissed so many times, but this felt different. Butterflies burned in my stomach and my heart felt whole again.
I pulled back. “Be my boyfriend?”
His eyes widened. “I’m used to me asking—“
I groaned, “Be my boyfriend, James.”
“Ok, ok, yes, I’ll be your boyfriend.” He laughed, taking my lips into his with a smile. The same butterflies flourished in my stomach. He teased his tongue on my bottom lips and I couldn’t help my grin from widening. He kissed my tooth.
“But I want to go slow.”
“I know slow.” He nodded.
“Yes.” Alpine jumped from my lap to the coffee table. Bucky took the red bowl onto his lap before something inconvenient took place. He pushed it towards me. “Caramel popcorn?”
My mouth watered with just the smell of it. “Mhm,” I hummed gleefully, falling back into the warmth of his chest and taking a handful of popcorn into my mouth. We watched another episode of whatever show he had on.
But if I were asked what took place during those 30 minutes, I wouldn’t be able to answer. I was filled with euphoria; thinking of all the kisses he would give me and being able to call him mine, how those ￼luscious lips now belonged to me, and how now, I wouldn’t need to worry about waking up to a cold bed.
The sounds of his breathing was like white noise, it eased me, reassured me that we were okay now. Established.
Eventually, we put the popcorn aside. His fingers drew figures on my waist, sneaking his cold thumb up and under my shirt. My fingers tugged at the hairs on his nape.
His mouth nearly devoured my face, taking my lips hungrily and forcing his tongue with mine. He mounted over me, but I nudged his chest back. My lower lip dragged between his teeth, slowly, before allowing it to fall.
His lips tasted like caramel.
“Slow,” I panted. He nodded, falling back to where he sat before. His chest heaved rapidly, slowly easing with the time.
Our attention drew back to the tv until he said, “hand stuff is slow.”
My mind was saying no, but the way my heart and core throbbed screamed yes.
I took another look at him and the grin he had gloriously displayed. He gazed at the tv, stealing tiny glances.
He laughed. “Are you going to keep staring at me, or are you going to give me an answer?”
“There was no question.” I retorted, leaning over to him to kiss the edge of his lips. He took this opportunity to wrap his arm around my waist, letting the other slide the side of my thigh. He didn’t let me fall onto his lap, he laid me flat on the cushion, forcing his lips onto mine.
His groan muffled into the kiss. One of his fingers teased over the fabric of my shorts, drawing a moan out of me. He smirked, not hesitating to slip my panties to the side and slide a finger down my folds. He groaned again, retracting his sleek fingers to get a better view.
“You’re so wet.” He looked up at me, fingers directing themselves to his mouth, licking between them and over. “Fuck.”
His finger teased its way in slowly, thumb rubbing against my clit. He curled his finger inside me, reaching just the right spot and causing me to whimper.
He slid out his finger and added another, curling them both inside of me.
“Fuck, Bucky—“ I kept my eyes shut, feeling as they lunge into me, following a slow rhythm that gradually fastened.
He rammed his fingers into me over and over, building tension in my lower stomach. His lips worshipped the skin just below my ear, having the opportunity to hear every breathy moan that escaped my lips.
I cupped his bulge, pulling a curse from him. He placed his arm over my head, giving me more access.
My hand palmed over his crotch. He inhaled sharply. His fingers froze inside me. “Doll,” he laughed breathlessly, “don’t tease me.”
“No fun.” I groaned, making him smile and take his my back into his.
I reached into his pants, wrapping my hands around his hard cock. He smirked against my lips, once again, continuing to plunge his fingers into me. A low moan muffled into his mouth.
My hand tugged the skin of his cock, slowly leading my thumb to his tip to spread pre-cum down his shaft. I swallowed every groan he let out while jerking him off.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Doll.” He rasped against my lips.
The pressure in my lower stomach intensified, I could feel my pulls on Bucky’s cock getting slower and slower as the muscles ￼in my thighs spasmed. I clenched around his fingers, enduring a white streak to blind me.
“Fuck, Bucky!” I cried. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, feeling Bucky’s fingers spread my release to my clit, rubbing it slowly, adding to my pleasure.
“Good girl.” He praised, placing a kiss to my jaw.
Slowly, I started caressing his dick again. His glistening fingers traveled to my mouth, as he fucked my hand, slipping them between my lips. I licked every inch of his two fingers, watching his mouth open in amusement.
My strokes got faster, Bucky helped himself with small thrusts. He bit back his lip and let his head fall. His hands plunged to my waist and shoulders for leverage, grunting as my hands ran from the base to the tip rapidly.
“Fuck,” he groaned, spurts of his cum, shooting onto my stomach. His arms shook, he fell on top of me for just a second before recollecting his weight again.
I pushed small strands of hairs from his face. He had is eyes shut, breathing deeply before spilling out a laugh.
“You’re something else,” he huffed, finally opening his eyes to look at me. “I love you.” He kissed me sloppily.
Alpine meowed from afar. I peeked an eye open, breaking from Bucky to look at the bathroom door, where alpine sat with his head tilted.
“Please tell me he didn’t just witness us having sex.” Bucky hid his dick back into his pants.
“Alpine!” He shouted. The cat cowered further away into the restroom, followed by Bucky. I heard whispered shouting as I waited patiently for Bucky to return.
He shut the door behind him with a huff. “Made quite a mess on you.” He sighed, lifting the towel he had in his hand for me to see.
He spread my legs delicately to slide my shorts down and wipe me clean. From between my legs to my lower abdomen, where his cum lied.
Once he was done, he sat back and took me into his arms, peppering kisses on my neck. “I’m glad you’re my girlfriend now.”
my heart is wild; [b.b. one-shot]
— Pairing: Trainer!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
— Summary: Shield was built as a joint effort between Bucky and his closest friends. He and Steve, in particular, had their reasons to want a quiet life, surrounded by comfort and the company of loved ones. Even though Bucky considers himself a successful person, his friends have pressing concerns—he's lonely, they say. Closed off. Bucky's always hated this peer pressure to find 'the one', but thankfully, he now has you to talk about all these things.
He couldn't be happier about it. Talking to you about everything is a win in his eyes.
— Word count: 11.1k
— A/n: This is the commission I got for my lovely and dears, Rachel and Malin. As always, I hope from the bottom of my heart they enjoy it. Happy reading, my loves.
— Warning(s): This work contains (18+) mature content. Minors, DNI. Explicit descriptions of sex; fingering, penetration, choking, dirty talk, praising, rough-handling.
main master list | marvel master list | ko-fi ❥
People say Bucky is a private person.
That's the word they usually go for: private. Sometimes, usually when Natasha's the one doing the drunk ramblings at the table, they'll call him cavemen. During his years in Health and PE College, Sam took to calling him Winter Soldier around the gym after he caught Bucky taking his ten minutes inside the ice tub.
It caught on—Steve did a cute little routine drunk off his ass about 'the winter soldier' and all his friends recorded it, shared it, Bucky included. The nickname still flies around Shield whenever Sam's trying to be funny or Wanda wants to tease.
All the teasing that happens at Shield, his co-owned gym with Steve and Sam, is made out of love.
It's why Bucky knows his friends are only teasing when they call him a lonely wolf, a winter soldier, a private guy.
At the same time, he sees it. The underneath layer of worry, at times, and the attempts to set him in dates that fail each time. Bucky accepts those because worry and concern are far better than uninterested friends.
It's just not easy to capture and maintain Bucky's attention. Or, at least, it used to be.
You seem to have no issue in grasping his focus between your capable hands, and once it's there, it goes nowhere.
When Bucky was eighteen, he and Steve thought signing up for the military would be a smart thing. They are eighties kids—times were different, and after one completed tour through hell, both men knew their fate shouldn't have to lie in desert camps, fighting battles that are not theirs.
They came back home, rented a shitty apartment to live together and over the course of the next five years, gathered a rag-tag bunch to make up their own little family. First came Sam in college, then Steve met Nat at the gym, and finally, when all three men managed enough credit and experience to open up their own place, came Wanda.
Shield was built as a joint effort between Bucky and his closest friends.
He and Steve, in particular, had their reasons to want a quiet life, surrounded by comfort and the company of loved ones.
The good part about owning a gym is that you can focus on your work—the part of the job you enjoy, which in Bucky’s case, is power-lifting.
For some reason (Clint), though, Bucky’s taking care of the reception because (Clint’s lazy) the world is not fair.
At least the members of his gym are fun people.
He recognizes some of them, which brings a smile to Bucky’s face. Usually, he’s on the second floor where the boxing and weight-lifting areas are. He and Nat – the gym’s boxing teacher and personal defense trainer – share what feels like their own little world.
It’s different down here.
Lots of young girls with yoga mats walk to the open green area at the back where Wanda conducts her classes. Lots of shitty music because Sam – a marathonist and the gym’s Head trainer – is the one who does the timetable and ends up taking care of the sound system.
“Enjoying your trip down here?” Steve’s voice comes up from behind him.
Bucky turns around and takes in his best friend’s state. “No.” Being a bodybuilder means Steve’s usually training the big guys and girls, and for everyone’s happiness at the gym, he does so in tank tops, most of the time. Bucky stretches out his hand to poke at Steve’s nipple peeking through his shirt. “Sam’s taste in music never ceases to amaze me, dude. And not in a good way.”
“I know,” Steve chuckles, sliding underneath the booth and entering the reception area. “Trust me. I’ve had words with him.”
“How d’you sleep with him, man?” Bucky teases. “The girl who sings Friday was playing a few minutes ago. Unironically. We’re not even in karaoke night.”
Steve sighs deeply. “It’s just… bomb dick game.” The seriousness with which he delivers the lines makes Bucky blink in surprise, and nod along, feigning seriousness, too. “Bomb dicking and bomb talking, you know what I mean?”
“I—no. I don’t know what you mean,” he laughs.
“Sure you do,” Steve smiles, all white teeth and no reservations.
“Uh—no? I’m a hundred percent sure I never slept with your husband.”
Steve’s eye roll is good enough to become a meme. “Not him, fuckhead. Me. I know what I’m talking about, hence you know I’m talking about.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Bucky argues.
“Sure it does,” Steve frowns.
Bucky squints his eyes. “No, it doesn’t. Sex credit doesn’t just fucking transfer from one person to another, are you on crack?” If that theory made any sense, that meant at least 90% of his staff had fucked in some degree.
He wasn’t sure how comfortable he’d be with those statistics.
“Okay—picture this,” Steve starts, and Bucky does brace himself for it.
Sometimes Steve’s theory sounds like the mind of a master strategist, and others, it leaves Bucky laughing until he’s crying and clutching at his stomach.
Before Steve can get a word in, the sound of the doors sliding open catches both their attention. While they still shit-talk during work hours, neither one of them is unprofessional to the point of letting out their true selves in front of the clients.
Bucky turns around to see who it is and maybe get a hello, but the face he’s met with is unfamiliar.
That’s what catches his eye at first. While he may not know everyone who frequents here well, Bucky can pinpoint a person who’s never stepped foot inside before and her eyes tell him that much.
“Hi,” greets Bucky, turning his body towards her.
The woman tears her gaze away from the equipment behind Bucky and Steve’s back and focuses on him. “Hi,” she smiles. “Is that Harry Styles playing?” She asks.
Bucky chuckles, and leans his forearm on the counter. “Yeah. I unfortunately let more than one person choose the soundtrack for this place and I gotta pay the price for it every week.”
She gives a couple more steps to stand closer to the reception. “Oh, I like him,” she states. “Just wasn’t expecting to hear that playing—gyms are usually boring or repetitive with their playlists.”
“Yeah, that’s why I gave them free rein,” Bucky wants to extend his hand, but the years of pandemic taught him most people now prefer not to. He waves, “I’m Bucky, one of the owners of Shield. Hi.”
“Oh—I’m sorry, I’m Y/n.” Y/n waves back, and Bucky smiles at the faint stroke of peach at the center of her cheeks. “I know Wanda?” She offers as a medium. “Well, her girlfriend’s one of my closest friends, so I know her by association. She heard through Nyx I wanted to go back to training and reminded me you guys have a gym here in town, and I’d heard of it before but I’d never checked. It’s a bit far away from my—” whatever Shield is away from is cut short when Y/n snaps her lips closed. “I’m rambling, sorry.”
Bucky wanted to know what his place is far from. Her work? Home? “It’s all good,” he shakes his head. “I’m glad you came for a tour. That’s why you’re here for, right?” He confirms.
Y/n nods, smiling with thankful eyes at him. “Yeah.”
“Awesome. I’ll show you around and tell you a little bit about why my team’s so cool, shall we?” Bucky offers with the most pleasing smile he can muster.
It must work—Y/n looks a little taken back, and when she shrugs and says, “Sounds good,” Bucky circles around the reception and passes Steve with a clap around his shoulder.
It’s a silent have fun taking care of reception.
Bucky’s mood takes a spin—he releases their entry with his thumbprint on the turnstile and gestures with his left arm towards the area they should get started.
“So, as you can see, we’ve got two floors. This one has the most part of the regular gym—cardio, fitness, a dance studio at the end. Wanda teaches her class over there—the original layout of this place had a massive apple tree and we decided to take care of it instead of throwing it out. Now the green area’s used for yoga—I’ll be honest, I thank Samuel every day for pitching in we kept that area because the incenses every single day would’ve probably killed it.”
“Our Head Trainer. He’s got two college kids who assist him so everyone who frequents the gym can do their exercises correctly—posture, movement, etc. He, Steve—the blond guy you saw at the reception, and me. We built this place around ten years ago.”
“Wow,” Y/n smile softened as Bucky spoke, but now it comes back ten times bigger. “That’s why Wanda talks so fondly about here,” she nods.
It warms Bucky’s heart to hear that—Wanda’s been in their lives for around six years now, and yet he still sees the young adult who wore too much black eyeliner and spoke in only short sentences. Knowing she loved this place as much as they did meant something to him. “I’m glad she does,” Bucky says. “I think she’s still here, actually—you wanna say hi?”
“Oh, no. No need to bother her when she’s teaching.” Y/n’s looking around the gym with an absent-minded interest, and it’s making Bucky’s curiosity peaked. This is usually the place where women smile from ear to ear, but from the look on her face, she’s not sold or impressed yet. “You said you think she's still here?”
“You don’t know?” She turns to Bucky with a teasing smile.
It catches him off guard—he chuckles, looking away from her face. She’s got cute eyes, and it’s only a tad bit distracting. “I usually spend most time upstairs.”
“What’s upstairs?” She asks.
“C’mon, I’ll show you.” So far, they crossed only a third of the area downstairs, but Bucky knows disinterest when he sees it, and Y/n is not interested in lightly jogging in treadmills or appreciating the beautiful sunset while doing yoga.
As he leads them towards the stairs, Bucky asks her a few routine questions about her life, and the trainer part of his mind takes a detour to observe her, too—he always notices people’s bodies. Not in a judgmental or analytical way, because Bucky’s relation to body and working with it has nothing to do with the aesthetics of it, and yes the pleasure in it. He looks the same way dancers watch how people move, or how writers analyze every dialogue in movies—observing.
“The upstairs has a lot of glass walls—you’re not scared of heights, are you?” He asks.
“Good.” When Bucky walks them, he feels her eyes on him too. “How long since you stopped training?”
“About two-three years, now.”
The date matches with a lot of people’s, and the reason must be the same. “Pandemic tore you away?” He confirms.
She nods. “Yup. Had to help take care of some family members, so there was no time.”
“How long did you train before that?” He asks. Her figure says years. Bucky looks only once, but the outline of her body is drawn in permanent ink behind his eyes with ease—thick, strong legs. Round waist, strong arms—gorgeous, his mind whispers, and he bites on the thought when it erupts.
Her gaze meets his, and Bucky wonders what part of him was she looking at that had her distracted for that brief second. “Training training, like real training, around five years. But I used to do sports before that, so I’ve always been active. I think a lot of the reason why I’m not feeling so good even though I already came back to a certain level of ‘normalcy’ is because I’m still not doing something.”
The way she says training-training makes Bucky narrow his eyes at her, holding back a smile. “What’s training-training?”
When her next smile opens, Bucky wonders if it’s possible to feel words before you hear them because she states:
And his brain goes—oh.
Even his feet going to the next step on the stairs slows, just for a millisecond. His eyebrows go up, and all his dumb mouth can say is: “Oh.”
Y/n’s smile widens. “What?”
Bucky shakes his head. “I just—my last few students and trainees have all been guys. It’s been a while since there was a girl around,” he smiles. Yeah, that’s it. His entire schedule is nothing but guys and while he appreciates having a job and being trusted by so many, he did complain to Nat not even two weeks ago about how unbearable cisgender, straight men can be.
Especially the type he deals with.
That’s when Bucky notices the moment of silence and looks down to Y/n. She’s looking straight ahead, nodding along. “You’re the powerlifting trainer?” She confirms.
“Yup. You thought it was Steve?” He asks.
“It was surely one of you two,” she chuckles.
Does she want him? “I mean—Steve’s already taken some of my students because of timing issues and I take his sometimes. If you prefer guys with wacky, old-fashioned humor and musical taste of a fifteen-year-old boy, I can always prepare your training and pass it along to him.”
The offer is made in a joking tone because that’s how good Bucky had to become in business talk. Maybe Y/n liked Steve’s puppy eyes and adorable mug better than this, and Bucky’s not one to take things personally.
Still, when she laughs it off, it does soothe him. “If you said the musical taste of a fifteen-year-old girl, then maybe,” Y/n teases back, looking back up at Bucky. “I like this area.”
Bucky smiles, and holds back saying I can tell. It could come off… wrong. “I’m happy to hear that,” he says instead, but his eyes are glued to how pretty her cheeks look with that color. He can see in the way she looks around now that this is what Y/n came after, and that sentiment is something Bucky can relate to in many levels.
“So, in here, we have the weight-lifting area. We have a shoe rack over there ‘cause the whole floor is soundproof to spare the life of the poor downstairs people—everyone here respects the no-shoe rule when stepping inside the black mat.” Bucky walked her through the red space, the only parts of the floor connecting the upstairs that was made of concrete and led to the showers and bathrooms. “We’ve got the boxing classes over there. Natasha’s our other professor—she teaches self-defense and krav-maga every Saturday, if you’re interested in that.”
“That sounds awesome,” Y/n smiles.
Bucky feels his cheeks pinch—he’s been smiling since they started talking, he notices, but no matter how many times he remembers that throughout the rest of the conversation, it still comes back to his face seconds after he willingly pushes the smile down.
Y/n’s easy to talk to.
After Bucky shows the whole place around, stopping in front of Nat’s classroom so Y/n can watch the redhead being her usual (and impressive) self, they stop at the office from upstairs so Bucky can discuss the plan options and what kind of support they’d offer her in here.
It’s such a nice, fluid talk, that he barely sees time passing.
He tells himself that it’s because she came here with a purpose.
Things go different when people have their minds set on something. They flow in a natural, simple way.
Bucky explains how many times a week they’d be training – three – and how he’d plan her initial work-out sessions to get back in shape.
Y/n turns it into a negotiation, after all, she knows her limits and how far she’d gone before things and the entire world came to a standstill.
When they sign the papers and Bucky takes his time making her profile for the gym, he sees the colors of the sky outside changing from blue to the Van Goghian mess of Twilight—it’s almost dark by the time they make it downstairs, and instead of Steve taking care of the reception, Clint is there, back to doing his job.
He sees Bucky and Y/n approaching, turns on his hearing aids and puts on his winning smile.
“Hello, boss,” he greets happily.
Bucky gives him a blank look. “Oh, look. It’s my employee. Where he should be.”
“Ah, the emergency went just fine, thanks for asking,” he chuckles. “The dogs are all good.”
“The dogs? You ditched work because of your dogs, Clint?”
“Not my dogs, obviously,” Clint rolls his eyes, scoffing like Bucky had said something outrageous. “My babies are great. No—I’m taking care of my neighbor’s dogs while they travel, remember? Someone called me saying they were doing a whole bunch of noise, causing havoc—had to go and check,” he shrugs.
Bucky sighs. “Right.” He is glad things are okay because Bucky’s heart will always bend when it comes to animals. “Glad things are okay.” He gestures to Y/n, who’d been standing there watching the whole exchange. “This is Y/n, our newest gym member.”
This time, it’s Clint who gives Bucky a look, and he only understands why when the man turns to the girl and says, “Hey, Y/n,” all casual and easy.
Well. “You two know each other?” Bucky asks.
Clint throws him the look back. “Duh. Her best friend owns the art café-shop Steve and I are always talking about and trying to drag you to.” When he looks over at Y/n again, his face softens—Bucky wonders what is it with Clint and women that could probably kill him. He always looks two seconds away from asking them if they want to be carried somewhere, and it’s probably why they all look at him like he’s an excited golden retriever. “Welcome to Shield. If this pain in the ass starts giving you mean looks or he frowns too much at you when he’s training, you can totally switch to Steve. Don’t leave us ‘cause he’s a grump grandpa, ‘kay?”
Y/n laughs at him. “I think his grumpiness might have something to do with you and the fact that you’re never where you’re supposed to be,” she laughs again. “I wasn’t in the receiving end of any frowns.”
Clint gives a gasp worthy of Broadway. “You’re trying to tell me it’s my fault?”
Y/n shrugs his shoulders, and her cocky smile could probably join his performance on stage. “I’m just saying it’s something to consider. I have this… feeling, that says you cause as much chaos in here as you do anywhere else you go,” she tells him.
It’s so fond and funny, so on the fucking nail, too, that Bucky’s smile comes back in full force.
She truly does know him. That makes Bucky wonder why he didn’t go any of the times when he was invited for Steve and Clint’s stupid, artsy coffee bro-dates.
“She knows you,” Bucky giggles a little evilly.
Clint pouts. “Betrayed, everywhere I go,” he sighs. “I see why you’re sticking with him. Peas from the same pod.”
Y/n rolls her eyes, her fond smile intact. “It’ll be a pleasure seeing you almost every day, Barton.” She waves at Bucky. “Bye, coach.”
He smiles. “Bye. See you in two days.”
Bucky and Clint watch her leave in silence, and he feels the air building up until the moment the door closes behind her.
“Bye, see you in two days,” Clint echoes with a mocking tone. He turns around to look at Bucky slowly, thinking he’s a cartoon villain. “That was interesting.”
Bucky has no idea what he’s talking about. “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he turns around to leave. “Upload her profile and start filling up her file for me, please and thank you.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
“Goodbyeeeee,” your best friend sings through the phone.
You sigh, not for the first time during this talk. “Sometimes, I really hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” she laughs loudly on the other side. “It just bothers you that I know ya, my love.”
That was true, but besides the goddamn point. “You don’t have a point, Nyx. You just implement thoughts in my head and make me suffer,” if your last word comes out as a whine, that’s between you, Nyx, and god.
“Me?! Put thoughts in your head?!” She shrieks. “Girl—you were the one who called me whining about the size of his fucking arms. I didn’t put anything in there that wasn’t already there,” she adds with laughter. “Now go train. You’ve got this.”
“Yeah, yeah.” You finish gathering your things inside your backpack. “Bye. Love you.”
“Byeeee. One day at a time!”
You hang up.
She did have a point, though—one day at a time was the way to go here.
One month into training with Bucky, and you were already seeing results.
Not visible ones, and you knew those took the longest, but you felt it.
Going back to doing what you loved gave you almost an instant boost—even if the first week was hard. Even if you almost asked Clint what changing classes to Steve’s private tutoring would be like.
You’re stronger than that. Once inside Shield, you greet Clint with a wink as he speaks with someone on the phone. The gym’s mostly empty when you arrive at your scheduled hour, but it’s starting to fill up by the time you leave.
One month already has you feeling like part of the regular crew.
The private sessions Bucky conducts with you are held upstairs, so you walk to the second floor while thinking about how good it is that you stayed.
Sure, the first practice was hard.
So fucking hard.
“Hey, Y/n,” Bucky smiles at the sight of you.
And you’re why. “Hey.” Pushing down the silly infatuation with your coach has been going better after you poured out all your thoughts onto your best friend; it brought you back to Earth, you feel. “How are ya?”
Bucky nods, and finishes organizing your bars while you put away your backpack. “Pretty good. I watched the movie you recommended, by the way—I’m surprised and happy to say I wasn’t disappointed.”
“Hah! What did I tell you?” You brag.
Throwing a look over your shoulder, you see Bucky rolling his eyes, a smile on his face. “Yeah, yeah—you said it was good.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m a picky little shit—I’m used to putting no expectations on people’s words.”
“Have you learned by now I’m not ‘people’?”
“Wow,” Bucky laughs. “She recommends one good album and a good movie and her word is law, ladies and gentlemen.”
Separating your training belt for later use, you give him a dry look. “That album was flawless.”
Bucky shakes his head and straightens up on the bench, looking at you with awe. “I love the confidence.”
“Tell me I’m lying,” you say, deadpanned. Bucky��s smile becomes a grimace—his resemblance to the emoji you use the most makes your evil grin pop up. “Exactly.”
“Fine,” he concedes. “You’ve got taste.”
“Thank you, coach,” you can tell he’s trying his best not to smile at your shit-eating grin. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“Nope. But this is easier: have fun doing cardio,” this time, his smile carries the lines of evil.
You groan out loud. “Ugh.” With an accusatory finger pointed at him, you state. “If he tries making me run once, I’m slapping him sideways.”
Bucky chuckles. “He won’t, Wanda’s the one waiting for you today.”
“Oh! Great,” with that information, you leave the belt in front of his bench and head downstairs for your initial 30 minutes of cardio.
It’s a well-known fact, or at least a very strange, yet common occurrence between powerlifters to hate cardio.
No matter how much dislike one has over it, though, it can be the fastest and easiest way to do a proper, full-body warm-up.
With Wanda there – or Sam, even if you two end up teasing one another more than paying attention to the path you’re walking – the minutes go by in a blink.
“Hey, babes,” Wanda smiles at you. “Ready?”
Your lips twist in distaste. “I have to be.”
Wanda shakes her head. “Dunno what’s with you guys and a little bit of fucking running—lifting I-don’t-know-how-heavy shit over your head? Dandy. Fifteen minutes of running? Oh no, Wanda, this is torture, make it stop.”
“It’s boring,” you complain, not for the first time, but get on the treadmill beside her.
“Big baby. So—has the dream gone away yet?”
Nyx, you big-mouthed little shit.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and your girlfriend’s dead to me,” you answer.
Wanda’s laughter as she changes subject makes something tingle—a feeling on the back of your neck, and your eyes snap in the direction of the second floor.
Bucky’s leaning against the rail and watching you and Wanda with amusement written all over his face.
You blush and mentally curse your best friend for making cardio worse, but for the time being, thank the presence of Wanda to distract you from the reality of it.
Bucky being Bucky is not what you expected.
Matter-of-factly, your expectations were simple:
Go back to training, get that natural serotonin boost, be merry and happy.
None of that included Greek-god-like coaches.
Funny, tall, and sweet men—the type that seems out of an Austen novel or the female gaze version of those damned Lynch movies that Nyx made you watch every now and then. Bucky was that, with a cherry on top to complete the madness of his appeal.
Here’s the bad part about knowing all that:
Useless. All the knowledge you’re gaining about how incredible, witty, funny, or dedicated he is—none of that matters to you because there’s no way you’d be the one to catch his attention, anyway.
You look down to the treadmill and sigh deeply at the sight of 15:05.
The numbers mock you a little. Conversation with Wanda died after ten minutes and now your mind is stuck here again, a place if often visits when under Shield’s roof:
What would even be the chances?
Bucky’s Instagram profile – private for outsiders – had pictures of many different things:
His friends, his job, his trips, and interests.
It made it worse that he was different from most gym dude-bros—an embarrassing page full of self-conceited pictures would’ve helped to diminish the whole appeal of him.
Too bad for you, Bucky’s a well-rounded, real threat to your health.
Ironic, considering his job. You’re aware of that.
The question your brain refers back – what would even be your chances? – popped up during the first week, and inevitably, you ended up in the self-dug hole of ‘just a little espionage.’
The only picture you’d found of Bucky with a woman you didn’t know made your stomach tighten—a blonde, beautiful, slim, and tall model look-alike. Ali-something, taken a few years ago. While she’s there only once, one time is enough to pain you a picture: he’s probably got a type.
Most people do. More often than not, the type is different than me.
All of that put together would’ve been enough if it weren’t for the cherry on your own cake: Bucky never looked at you with anything less than strict professionalism.
Not that you’d want him to – oh, you would, a traitorous voice in your brain whispers – but, still.
The reflection that stares back at you in the mirror may not be of a Hadid girl, but you know your beauty and the attraction you gather when you go to places doesn’t lie—you were a sight to look at.
And Bucky looked, plain and serious, every time.
Your torture downstairs ends, so you kiss Wanda’s sweaty cheek and head to your next round.
The boss of this phase: not staring at the way Bucky’s clothes cling to his frame.
“How was it?” He asks, smiling at you through the mirror. Why do his shoulders have to be so broad? And why is a stupid ponytail getting to me? “All warmed up?”
“I now crave death, yes.”
Bucky laughs, and turns to you. He hands you the belt, and you put it on while he answers. “You’re so gratuitously funny,” he mutters under his breath, more to himself than you.
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.”
“Well, Giggles, I wanna up your training a bit,” Bucky says, smiling up at you. He’s observing to make sure you’re putting your belt on properly, as always. “You’ve already done progress in four weeks and I won’t extend the workout by a lot. We’re doing 3 sets of 2 reps, and I wanna up to 4 sets today, but we’ll keep it at 2 reps. Next week, if you’re not sore and crying for Stevie, I’ll change to a 4-3. How does that sound?”
Everything you say sounds great.
“Sounds like you’re challenging me to call you out on being an over-caring grandpa,” you tease. “I told you last week I was ready for 4.”
“Pushy. You could’ve hurt yourself,” he says softly.
“Never. I’ve got the best coach,” whether it’s your smile or the teasing on your voice, Bucky’s cheeks gain a little color. You pay more attention to that than the rolling of his eyes.
“Flattery will get you nowhere.” He gets up and picks up the first weight. “Let’s go. I wanna see you start low. No full lift in this first rep, got it?”
Bucky is the type of coach who stands behind you while you practice.
Who hovers on top of your head while you’re trying to lift the heavier, newer weights, and lowers them back on the machine with you to make the strain lesser during the first tries.
“Good job,” he praises after you complete the first 4-rep session.
The proud smile is something he brings out often.
Bucky’s the type of coach who makes sure you remove the belt around your waist as soon as the exercise is done, and who joins you in teasing Sam when he’s hanging around the reception or the open area outside and they run into each other.
“How does that feel?” Bucky checks in the middle of the training.
That’s what got to you in that very first session. The checking-in. Genuine worry in his eyes when he did so, and the occasional eye contact as he assessed if you were straining just enough or approached the edge of too much.
You nod at his question, looking down at the mat and your black socks. You wiggle your toes, and breathe through the feeling of sweat dripping down your lower back. “’m good.”
“You sure?” There’s a bottle of water suddenly in your line of sight, and you thank him with a salute. “I’ll give you five minutes.”
“Cool.” You open the bottle and chug almost half of it, and it’s funny how you needed only four weeks to start feeling Bucky’s looks. Without looking at him you can tell he’s giving you one of his ‘I told you so’ eyes and grin, and it makes you want to smack him. “Best coach ever,” you tease, just to get a rise of him.
“It’s three now,” he replies.
You chuckle, almost choking on the water—you had that one coming.
That is hard to ignore—Bucky’s ease at dealing with you, and being around in general.
You’d like to think you two could be at least friends, one day. If your group of friends who is somehow mingled already meet at one point, and if he’s not the type to find relationships happening outside of business-relations a strange thing.
Three minutes pass quickly when your heart is pounding on your ear, and next thing you know, it’s Bucky’s scruffy smile popping in your line of vision. “Back up,” he commands.
With a groan, you obey him.
“’m ready,” you breathe in.
His encouraging smile feels so real.
There could be a chance.
Being friends with him wouldn’t hurt, right? Only your eyes, at times, and perhaps your ego, a little. Seeing something you wanted so bad but couldn’t have could be a good thing. A test for your self-control, and chances were, his good personality would win you over in the end and you’d forget about this minimal, entirely justified infatuation as if it never happened.
All he had to do was never say the same things he said here at the gym outside of it and you’d be fine.
“That was great,” Bucky praises. “Fucking flawless form—you did great, Y/n.”
Oh, that feels so good to hear.
Serving for one tour in the military and handling his own business for over a decade does not make for a perceptive person.
That’s what Bucky spends his next couple of months figuring out, bit by bit.
In all fairness, he is out of the game, if one looks from that angle. Our of the loop, per se.
Bucky spends solid four weeks ignoring the looks and comments his friends make whenever he preens and his chest straightens before Y/n arrives for practice, and then another four weeks trying to convince himself there is a reason for all that.
A reason not surrounding his dick, that is.
The only little thing standing between him and succeeding to internalize that ridiculous pep-talk is act is not little at all—it’s pretty strong, in fact.
You can deadlift 115kg over your head.
“Why do you look like that?” Very blunt, too.
Bucky’s gotten used to your mouth by now, even if he wants to shut it sometimes.
That’s another thought that fits in the category of ‘things standing between you and the Real Reason you Stare at Her All The Time’.
“Like what?” He asks, knowing the answer.
Y/n tilts her head, hands going to her hips. “Like someone did your morning cereal with salt. Or asked you to run a marathon—oh god, did Sam trick you into doing cardio?”
Bucky laughs, and almost all of the anger he felt dissipates. “Shut up. That man can’t convince me to do shit,” he laughs again.
You lift both hands up in surrender. “My bad.”
“It’s not Sam,” Bucky says, because he likes talking to you. Those fifteen minutes before and after practice when you two talk aimlessly, walking around the gym, and interacting with people is kind of precious to him. “Natasha’s the pain in the ass of the hour.”
Natasha’s fucking meddling.
“What did Nat do?” You ask, frowning.
“Don’t gimme that look.
“The ‘Nat can do no wrong’ look,” Bucky knows it too well. Steve and Wanda are victims of that, and sometimes, Bucky has to live in a world where people are blind to how evil Natasha Romanoff can be. “She’s a menace to society and I refuse to stay silent under her bullying.”
That makes you laugh in earnest, and Bucky can’t keep his straight face at the sound. “There’s no way she’s that mean.”
“She is,” he counters. “She’s back to meddling in my fucking life—I had to threaten her, okay? Threaten. I told her if she doesn’t stop setting me up in blind fucking dates like I can’t notice that I’ll poke a needle in every boxing bag of hers and watch her suffer to discover from where all the sand is coming from for weeks.”
The way your pretty eyes widen at his petty outburst and you press your lips together in an attempt to hide your laughter makes Bucky’s lip curl up despite his best wishes.
It’s apparently impossible for him to keep a straight face around you for longer than two minutes.
“Hey, get it all out, this is a safe space, coach,” Y/n says after a while.
Bucky’s jaw drops a little at how satisfied she looks with herself and her teasing remark. A part of him wants to claim ten minutes on the treadmill when practice’s over, but he’s not that mean. “I’m shutting up,” he bites back just to be difficult.
Y/n chuckles and nudges her arm against his. “Just jokes. Why did she do that?” She asks more seriously.
Bucky shrugs his shoulder. ‘Cause that’s what my friends do. Worry I’ll die alone. “They think I need it.”
“’Cause if they don’t set me up on dates, I’ll hardly go on one if it’s up to me,” he answers. “I’m not—I don’t like the whole thing.”
“You don’t like going on dates?” Y/n leans her back against the machine, and Bucky wonders why it’s so simple to answer the questions when it’s her asking.
“Going on dates is cool,” maybe it’s the lack of judgment he feels in her voice. Maybe it’s the fact that anything she asks with those doe eyes pointed at him, Bucky’s sure he’d reply with honesty. “The whole ‘structure’ around them is what sucks.”
“You mean, like—the social norm of dates? Taking X time to reply, going on Y number of dates before Z?” She confirms.
Yes! Bucky nods with vehemence. “Yup. Boring. And I fucking hated doing it—so I stopped.”
“I get that.”
“I don’t like it, either,” Y/n shrugs her shoulders. Her smile is humorless, and for a second Bucky’s sad to recognize a face that’s tired. “I’ve heard my fair share of people’s unwanted opinions on it, too.”
“Oh—Nat meant no harm with the dates,” Bucky defends her. He’s past the years in his life where he keeps relationships around him who try to control his life or poke unnecessary commentary that would make him feel bad. “She didn’t even do it in a way that sucks—she’s stealthy, I’ll give her that. But it’s happened with Stevie or Sam a couple of times and I can recognize it by now.”
Y/n eyes glint with curiosity. “How stealthy is she?”
Bucky smiles. “Nat and Clint asked me to a bar and the last two times, she took a different friend.” One time, a nice girl in her early twenties who worked at a Planetarium, the second, a guy right here from the gym who did yoga with Wanda. “Totally unintentionally, of course.”
“Of course,” you add, voice dripping with sarcasm.
“One hour in, Clint suddenly wants to go home,” Bucky finishes, feigning surprise.
In return, you fake it, too. “Oh, no! Is he okay?”
Bucky laughs out loud. “Two fucking bastards, I swear to god—match made in heaven, those two.”
“I can see that,” you answer.
Teasing the gym couples becomes your thing after that—Bucky is the one who starts, most of the time, being the only closest to them, but Y/n join in the fun with the same ease as she entered this gym and fit herself into their made-up family as if she’d been there for the longest time.
That’s probably why when his resolve cracks, Bucky can almost hear the glass ceiling through which the stone goes through raining over his head.
It was very obvious, but it takes Steve for him to leave denial.
One Friday night, Steve states, “You think this shirt looks good on me? Sam said the bar Wanda and Nyx chose is super edgy and punk—I don’t wanna look stupid. Can you text Y/n and ask her if this is a good look?”
“Of course she is. It’s her best friend’s birthday,” Steve rolls his eyes. “C’mon. Take a picture of me—oh god, I lost you, didn’t I? Dude. You can just ask her on a date. Please don’t mope all night when there’s literally no reason for it.”
“What?” His mouth echoes.
Steve stares at him, entirely unimpressed. “Ask. Her. Out.” He snatches the phone out of Bucky’s still hands and does what he wanted himself given the state of shock in Bucky’s face.
Ask her out—simple as that.
And that’s when it hits Bucky. The why.
Despite his trivial attempts at pinpointing it, it’s been in his face the whole time. It’s not her thighs, or the way she makes him actually feel hot under his skin for the first time in a good while, or anything to do with how whenever she’s in the room, his eyes seem to create a magnetic field to her.
It’s the fact that all those things are on top of the real thing Bucky wants to do:
He wants time with Y/n.
Outside of the gym, before and/or after spending good amounts of time worshipping the body that drives him a little out of his mind, even in the mornings when he’s half-awake and not ready to deal with the world—Bucky sees something funny on his feed and it’s Y/n he wants to text.
She's the one he wants to go to now when he has an opinion, a show, a song.
“Are you having an epiphany?” Steve’s voice brings him back to life. He’s texting using Bucky’s phone and looking at him with amusement. “’Cause I’m having fun watching this.”
Bucky wants to tell him to fuck off, but the epiphany is real and it’s louder than that. “What if she doesn’t want to go out?”
“What?! She’s never looked at me like that! Not once!” I would’ve noticed. God, I would’ve loved it. “I’ve done squats in front of that woman and all I felt was her eyes on my posture. I—she may not want it.”
There’s a deafening silence on the receiving end of Bucky’s lines, and he looks up to see his best friend staring at him like he grew another head.
“It’s like you wanna be a dumb bitch sometimes,” Steve mutters in awe.
“Are you tryna hurt my feelings or something?” Bucky narrows his eyes.
“Oh, yeah, ‘cause you’re that easily bruised,” Steve rolls his eyes, knowing Bucky too-damn-well to fall for his good boy routine. “I’m dead serious—use the brain your mama gave you. Have you been staring at her ass these past couple of months?”
Bucky frowns. “No. Obviously not.”
Steve’s next look says Duh, like it’s hard?
The Legally Blond has a point. “Fair point,” Bucky points at him. “Gimme my phone back.”
“Ask her out,” Steve states, handing him the device.
“I gotta… lay the ground, first,” Bucky says.
Steve’s eyebrows crease. “What do you mean?”
Bucky smiles. “Means I’m changing clothes—d’you still have that red Henley? That one looks good on me.”
The satisfaction on Steve’s face at Bucky’s question has no price.
What starts that night at Nyx’s birthday goes on even to the gym.
Bucky feels like a peacock doing this shit, but at the same time, it entertains him—putting on a nice t-shirt, washing his hair more often with honey conditioner and wearing tank tops to work can be fun, he finds out.
The first week, all he gets from you is a quick double-glance.
At the bar, your flushed cheeks and cheeky responses could be attributed to the alcohol.
Here? No escaping route.
Bucky wanted to test the waters, first—see if the interest could be there, and more importantly, if him approaching you in that way is something you’d desire.
Not consider because he put it on the table, but wanted it.
He never looked through his closet this much.
He pulls out shabby, loose shirts that are a bit transparent depending where you stand under the light.
When you squatted with over 100kgs on your back, Bucky paid full attention to your form. The second you threw the bar on the ground and panted, breathless after the upping he did on your weights, he’d pick up the bar for you and put it in place.
No effort there—he needed only one hand to do this kind of job, but Bucky was also surrounded by mirrors.
It was fun seeing your reaction to his lack of struggle.
When he caught you with your lips parted the first time, eyes set on his thighs, Bucky knew—he had at least a shot.
Now all he needed was the right placing to shoot it.
It’s the white tank top that does it for you. You thought you’d last on your promise—cracking you is an art that probably only your parents have unlocked so far, but that does it just fine.
That damned, white tank top.
You almost turn around and head back from where you came from when you reach the stairs and Bucky’s back is the first thing you see—the muscles of his shoulders, more specifically, and the fact that they’re out in the open because he is wearing a white tank top.
When you recap to your friend this exact scene hours later, you leave out the weak whimper you swallow.
What is he doing?
Bucky had an agenda—it was obvious he wanted to kill someone in this gym for doing something, but you were the one who had to suffer through that.
You’d made a promise to yourself: you would keep your mouth shut.
“Hello, coach.” Keeping your mouth shut was necessary, because the opposite of that looked like you making a comment on his looks, and that could never be good. “Evening. Amala playing again, huh?”
Commenting on music was fine—music recommended by you, and that Bucky turned out to like a lot.
That was a far safer topic than anything else going on in your field vision right now.
Bucky’s got a black snapback on, and you suddenly feel the need to punch something. “Hey,” he greets you. “Nat liked one of the songs last week and now it’s all that plays around here,” he smiles.
“I’m gonna say hi to her before I go stretch,” you tell him. “Can we switch some of the exercises today?” If you're anywhere near me, I might pass out. “My back’s kinda sore, and I remembered I skipped leg day last week,” you remind him with a square smile.
Bucky nods. “Sure.”
It’s the first time you go through warm-up without complaints. If Tasha notices, she doesn’t care—she’s probably way too happy to be spotting and training your punches, and getting out of you why you’re quiet and so obedient is not like her.
“Sweets. Are you coming on Friday?” Tasha asks before you go upstairs.
Bucky’s text messages last night sparks in your memory.
ㅤㅤnat wants you for pizza night at her & clint’s house
ㅤㅤyou should go
ㅤㅤseeing nat get drunk and sing is fun
You smile at her. “Bucky mentioned. Pizza at your place?”
She nods, smiling softly. “Yeah.”
“Do I need to bring anything?”
“Your gorgeous self is fine.”
Laughing, you start walking upstairs. “See you tomorrow, then, Tash.”
“See you, sweets.”
The exchange pushes some of the thirst away from your mind, and you notice in the pattern that choosing a gym where your friends – and women, especially – were at and made you feel comfortable helped on more than one occasion.
Being one of Bucky’s private students—you paid for one on one lessons in hopes to go back to competing eventually, you had an hour with him on the clock.
The extra time spent talking was what made you accept his and everyone’s invitation; they not only talked, but acted like they wanted you around.
You’re navigating the wave of endorphins so high that you get cocky, maybe.
Maybe that’s why he makes you crack.
Or maybe it’s the way that having Bucky in that white fucking top shows you why you’re still struggling with one of the bench exercises by doing it himself, and you feel all thoughts escaping out of your ears.
Flying away, like birds scared off by a canyon going off.
“Got it,” you lie through your teeth.
The exercise is understood—you put all of your focus in doing the exercise properly, from the beginning, to end. It’s hard, and its difficulty is why you sometimes still get it wrong, but closing your lips and focusing ahead as you grind through it with a mental hyper-focus on each important muscle, you finish your fifteen reps.
The weight drops on the ground at fifteen because you simply open your fingers.
“Good job,” Bucky says. You can hear his smile, even with your eyes fixed on the matted ground.
“Breath properly, woman,” Bucky laughs at you. “And stand up straight, c’mon.”
“You are such a nagger.”
“You’re folded in half, Y/n.” How can someone’s voice portray so much emotion?
You sit up straight, and are hit with the most common question around Bucky: why are his eyes like that? So… expressive.
“Better?” You ask.
Bucky nods, his smile turning more serious, and his own posture mimics yours.
“You could just ask her out.”
Mentally, you curse in every language you know.
Outside, you try keeping a steady face after the words are blurted out of your mouth.
Bucky frowns, and his head tilts in confusion. “I’m sorry?”
The only benefit about making a colossal mistake such as this one in the middle of practice is the luxury of struggle: your cheeks were already as red as a tomato before, so while Bucky can see them, he’s incapable of feeling the burning in them and know where it comes from.
You shrug, trying to play it cool. “The girl.” Now that you’ve started, there’s no stopping. Bucky’s confusion remains, so grabbing your water bottle underneath your bench, you open it and gesture widely to his frame. “Whoever’s got you pulling out—that. Guns. Jesus,” your laughter comes out a little cracked, but you gulp down water and swallow the heat with it. Or try to. “She’s gonna say yes, you don’t have to give the entire gym a heart attack every week day.”
There’s a moment of heavy silence between you both, and you become highly aware of two things at the same time, both equally as terrifying in your eyes.
The first and most pressing one, is that you’ve decided to open your mouth on a Thursday, of all the fucking days. A Thursday—the one day of the week when because of your work schedule you had to commit to 8pm to 9pm classes. The day of the week where it’s just you, Bucky, Sam and Nat plus a handful of students in the entire and wide space of Shield.
Sam’s downstairs with his two college athletes, wrapping up in talk just like you and Bucky would be in around twenty minutes.
Natasha should be at the office—Bucky told you she was an investor here at the gym as well as a teacher, and that most of the numbers and stuff like that went through her.
Then, there was you and Bucky.
“Is she?” He asks, and the second thing you notice – and your body tenses at it – is that Bucky’s smiling.
It’s a smile you’ve never seen before on his face, though.
Grinning, would be the correct description, and you feel foolish.
“I mean, assuming it’s a she. Or he.” You can feel the smile creeping underneath at the prospect of what his smile might mean, but your mouth is teasing before you can dive into that. “They—whoever,” you ramble on. “They’ll say yes. Just go for it. And please stop using tank tops—I know I wasn’t the only one to tell you this week.”
Clint’s verbal, vocal complaints still made you laugh when you were alone at home.
“Clint, you’re married. Your wife is literally a few meters away from you.”
“She’s complaining too! Tell him to knock it off—end our miseries, for fuck’s sake. I’m gonna invade his closet if this keeps up.”
Bucky’s face, unlike yours, showed no signs of weariness.
That was perfect because it made his blush evident when it came. “I didn’t know if she would or not—it makes people take drastic measures,” he chuckles. The way Bucky says she while looking you straight in the eye makes you stop drinking your water in fear of choking on it.
“And me encouraging you wiped all the doubt away? Damn, I’m good at pep talks,” you joke.
Bucky’s smile fades, and all that’s left is that. “Y/n.” Your name shouldn’t have this effect over you, but it does—if your legs weren’t closed already, they’d do it as a way of containing the heat that Bucky pours over each letter of your name.
Bucky analyzes your face for a few seconds, then his smile returns. “Do you wanna go out for a drink sometime?”
You stop gnawing on your bottom lip, and nod. “Would love to.” Then, one of your conversations with him a couple of weeks prior spurts on your mind like a present from the gods, and it’s your turn Cheshire smile. “There’s just one problem,” you add in a fake-low whisper.
Bucky lifts both eyebrows at that. “There is?”
“You said you don’t like going on dates with people you never kissed ‘cause that’s all you think about. I’m a very anxious gal and now, the fact that you’d be thinking about that is all that I’ll be thinking about, so…” you let your words trail off, testing the waters for how teasing him in different ways goes like.
“That’s got an easy fix, though,” Bucky answers with the straightest face you’ve ever seen.
He then gets up from the bench, grabs you by the wrist and starts dragging you towards the showers upstairs.
You were dipping your toes into the pond water, and Bucky’s fingers on your skin are the same as him pushing your body inside.
You love a good surprise, anyway—a nice swim in deep, new waters.
He drags you until you’re both standing in front of one of the sinks and you follow him with a besotted smile on your face.
Bucky’s seriousness crumbles at the sight of it.
“If I solve this eternal dilemma on your mind, the date is on?” He confirms teasingly, approaching your body slowly.
If someone said they turned on the heater right underneath your feet, you’d believe it.
That or some gates to hell must’ve been open. “Sure is,” you reply, letting the flames climb up from your feet, all the way up.
You’re not a tiny, dainty girl, by any shape or form.
Bucky still makes you feel like one.
His body towers over yours, his thick arms, broad shoulders and soft brown hair making your vision cloudy—mind dizzy.
His right hand reaches up and touches your burning cheeks, feeling the heat of it. The way his smile makes your stomach turn to mist. “Peachy,” he whispers, eyes on your cheeks. “Gonna kiss you now, ‘kay?”
Bucky hides his sides well.
For all his gentleness and professionalism, you’d have pegged him as a lover. A love-making, or vanilla-fucking kind of guy.
The grunt that leaves your lips when he crashes his mouth on yours in a delicious and smooth press of his lips is only the beginning.
Bucky’s hand cupping your face is rough. It grabs on your neck and pulls you closer, the same way his arms around your waist press your body flushed against his.
His tongue is talented and devious, much like him.
There’s nothing soft about the way Bucky expresses his desire, and even through the fog of his tongue dragging along with yours and making your toes curl, you know he could be if he wanted to.
Right now, though, what Bucky wants is to kiss and to touch.
And so do you.
The shock goes away in two seconds, and your arms wrap around his shoulder immediately after. Bucky responds by hoisting you up by your thighs and propping you on the bathroom counter without breaking the kiss, deepening his exploration of your body.
He’s got you making sounds and squeezing yourself around him before either one of you pulls back for air.
His hands are on your ass, and yours are making a mess on his hair, but it’s Bucky’s smile that makes you whimper in the end. “Behave, Peach,” he grunts, sucking on your lips again and swallowing around the moan that arises with the nickname. “’s just a kiss, remember?”
He laughs. “Was it good? Are we clear for a date?” He sounds breathless and happy. “I think it was good. Want me to try again?”
You take a moment to catch your breath.
“Yeah. Just one more time for safekeeping.”
Bucky licks his lips while staring at yours. “Sounds fair.”
He dives in again.
Having you like this is a privilege only Bucky gets to have, and he might be drunk on this thought.
He’s not actually drunk.
You’re just very, very pretty.
The way you whine his name tastes as good as fine wine, and that’s something that can get you to certain highs in life.
“Shush.” He watches Y/n bite on her bottom lip, and smiles, sighing happily. His baby is a good girl. “Good baby, Peach.”
He leans over the bed to press a kiss on her eager lips, but Bucky goes back to standing up on his knees at the edge after he takes her breath away.
Bucky’s admiring for a moment, because now that you’re here and he’s gotten to know tweak and push some of your buttons during all those dates, he knows where to go.
The times when you and him ended up making out in kitchens after dinner, or at the bar when someone grabbed the drinks. You and Bucky spend a good amount of time just getting to know each other—the dates are so easy and fun that until now, talking’s pretty much all you’ve done.
And Bucky’s wanted to take a good look at you so long ago.
He’d taken off his shirt and sat in his boxers, your legs thrown over his thighs and you lying against the bed naked, writing because of the vibrator he held against your clit and the restraints he’d put on your hands for misbehaving and making him cum on your mouth just before.
“Please what?” He asks.
Her hips are trembling on his lap, and he watches as Y/n’s eyes squeeze closed. “Please get inside me.”
“You know it’s not like that, Peach.” Bucky leans his body over hers, grinding his pelvis against her wet pussy. “Gotta prep you first.”
“Then do it. Please.” Y/n’s fingers claw at Bucky’s arms, and he wants to do it, but watching his baby suffer like this looks so good. “Wanna feel full, Buck.”
Bucky turns off the vibrator and puts it back on where he got it, and then brings his hands between Peach’s legs, feeling up his whole palm on her folds, wetting his fingers by circling her clit. “Take it off,” Y/n mutters on Bucky’s lips, her knees budging against Bucky’s boxers.
He had put them back on after she kept on sucking, her lips swollen and taking as much of him as she could.
The tip of Bucky’s dick drips at the memory. He takes off his underwear with one hand, then manhandles Y/n’s hips to sit up higher on his thighs so he can put a pillow underneath her lower back.
Bucky stretched you open slowly, both to continue teasing you as well as making sure he wouldn’t hurt you. First one, then two, then three fingers, pumping in and out of you and filling the room with wet noises.
From the way you clawed at his back, Bucky would have marks the next morning.
“Feels good?” Bucky asks on your ear, kissing along your neck.
You cry out loud when the words are spoken and he sucks your earlobe into his lips. “Buck.”
“Gotta make sure you’re ready, Peach,” he mutters, sucking on a patch of skin. Bucky drags his hips against your thigh as he says that, and is gifted with the sight of your rolling your eyes to the back of your head at the feel of his hard core bare against your skin.
“Please. Please, please, please—I’ve been so good.”
Bucky grunted. “You really have.”
So Bucky did what you wanted.
For the rest of the night, he did what you wanted.
You listen so well that you let him take it slow at first—you look drunk, too, but maybe it’s on the way his cock feels dragging in and out of you slowly, as Bucky moves his hips in different motions. He goes deeper and deeper each time, and it’s like your pussy is trying to swallow him bit by bit.
At a certain point, he’s fully fitting inside, and all he can do is praise you some more.
It’s what he’s been doing since he met you.
“Oh, fuck. You take me so well. So fucking well, Peach.”
To have the pleasure spreading from his sensitive ends to every place of his body and yours, more importantly, Bucky pulled it all the way out and in, over and over again until you asked for more.
He gave it you.
It was easy to distract you from him trying to learn the rhythms and codes from your insides when he puts one hand around your throat, wraps the other arm around the back of your shoulder and pulls you towards his own body.
He learned by accident when cuddling you after one of the very first dates that you adored his hands.
Even more when they wrapped around your throat.
“Look at you—fucking love this shit, don’t you?” He chuckles, and the way you open your mouth wide at that could only the request for a kiss, and Bucky gives it to you.
He steals your breath away, moving his hips inside of you in different motions and paces, gauging at your reaction each time. He was looking for the ones that had you whining, and the angles that made you sink your fingers deeper in his skin.
By the time you asked for “More, Buck,” again, he had hacked you already.
Bucky fucks you deep, and steady, releasing your throat a bit so you can breathe and fall into his rhythm. “Like—hm—like this, hm?”
“Fucking knew it, Peach. Oh god—how d’you feel baby? Tell me.”
“Bucky—oh—feels so good. Just like that.”
“I know, baby,” he smiles, fucking deeper into you.
Bucky thinks the marks might last a little longer than a day.
Not a single bit of him minds.
When he finds the angle and the speed that makes your legs close tighter around his waist, he presses and holds his forehead against yours, letting out his breaths right against your lips.
Bucky’s never been one to fuck and think about making love, but the connection he feels to you might grant the damn words their rights.
He loves the way you like silencing yourself by kissing him hard.
Bucky’s crazy about the way your nails drag across his back, and the strength you have to flip them both around.
If there’s one thing that prettier than the sight of you underneath him, is this.
His moans are so loud Bucky wonders for a second if his neighbors won’t call the cops.
Then, you twist your head to the side, throwing your hair around, and start moving your hips at your own pace, riding Bucky to keep the same rhythm as before.
In this position, all Bucky feels is the heat.
His whole mind feels squeezed, burning and bright. It’s so fucking tight inside of you, your legs squeezing around his waist even tighter, and it feels great.
He lets his hands on your hips, guiding and helping you, feeling your curves along the way.
“Fucking dream,” he mutters.
You look like a dream, Peach.
Bucky holds you when you get down to kiss him again, and the position gives him the leverage he needs to thrusts his hips in a delicious position.
It gets you opening your mouth wide, whispering his name over and over, and Bucky knows you're about to cum.
He feels it in the way your legs tighten, in the pinching of your brows and how your nails claw in deeper, deeper, deeper—“Cum for me, Peach. Cum on my cock, just like that—lemme see you fall apart, baby—“
For someone who used to be as lonely as Bucky, one orgasm with you already has him thinking some pretty wild things about bodies being joined together.
All the time. For good.
In a never-ending cycle.
Bucky feels you giggling.
“You’re talking out loud,” you whisper in his ear.
“I think you fucked my brains out,” says Bucky. His voice feels hoarse, and he has to pull out of you, but he doesn’t want to.
“I did? You fucked my brains out,” you throw back. Your tone is as raspy as his, and it makes Bucky smile.
“I fucking love this argument.”
Bucky doespull out, eventually, but only because he needs to start the shower so it’ll be warm in a couple of minutes and he can pull you to it.
“I’m only showering if you’re carrying me,” Y/n states from the bed. “My legs can’t move.”
“Oh—I’ll carry you.” That should end in a… shower.
The way you smile tells him you know that just as well as him.
Bucky takes pleasure in taking care of you—he doesn’t need to carry you; you get up from the bed to pee after a minute passes and his kisses seem to convince you that you’re still alive. He washes your hair once in the shower, and massages the thighs he grabbed, slapped and groped hard enough to leave bruises.
Bucky likes a lot of things with you, as it turns out.
You sleeping against his chest.
The way your eyes shine in the morning.
How his name sounds coming from your lips.
Over the months, and then, with the years, all he wants to learn next is if which last name out of you two is the coolest one and, as consequence, who will take whose.
↦ PART TWO |
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