#buckynat fic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fatedmus3s · 1 year

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A Mission Gone Wrong

Summary: It's the first mission the Winter Soldier and Black Widow take together after the scientists brainwashed Natasha. They instilled complete and utter obedience in her. So with renewed efficiency and effectiveness, there's no way this can go wrong...

Word Count: 9,440 words

He'd run across her alone once more after he saw her in the sparring room. Nothing had changed, so he stayed the course. James had stayed as warm as he could without prompting questions from her, not leading her to more questions. It had been some time, and he had been unsure until this morning that he'd made the right decisions. Surely after this long, they would have returned her to her regular schedule and place in the organization if they trusted her?

Yet it had been so long, doubt had crept in. Until today, James was told he would be going on a critical mission (those he found when he could think so freely were the most dangerous ones). An important task, and finally- he was to have a partner on it. That could only mean one person.

He got in his vest and tactical gear, slipping the weapons where they needed to be thoughtlessly, fighting hard against the Soldier's mentality when he had just been given a mission. If his partner was indeed Natalia, as she usually was... then he needed to control himself and not be cold. That would only set her back.

She needed his warmth, and he fought the sharp focus easier with that knowledge. She needed him, and he wouldn’t allow himself to let her down again. He stepped into the room… and a surge of... something, something light and warming washed over him to see Natalia preparing as well.

He was sure they must be under observation at this stage, so he decided to act normally until they were in the field.

"You have been briefed?" He asked in his monotone, even if he couldn't dispel the warmth in his eyes entirely. He picked up the packet of information now that he felt more in control of himself around her. Enough to really soak in the details.

That time she reported early to the guards. Like she was eager to please them. She didn't want the trouble of finding them too late. She hadn't slept like she actually intended to do but seemed calmer. Her usual confusing thoughts made a bit more sense to her.

The Black Widow had been questioned about what she had done and who she had met that day. Truthful answers spilled from her mouth, telling them of her brief encounter with the Winter Soldier. They listened intently and she had been brought to the chair. But this time, the heavy headpiece wasn’t strapped as tightly and it was only used once instead of continuously with no end. It was still painful enough she dug splinters into he skin, gripping onto the chair but… it was almost merciful to Natalia.

The second encounter had been more straightforward for her. Again it had been a random one. But her thoughts were making more sense and she didn't feel the white fog trying to push everything away. Things simply slipped, and she learned that if she didn't pester them, the pain stayed away.

Still, she seemed scattered compared to her usual self. The Black Widow had searched for a place to be alone, away from everyone, to sort her thoughts. She did that a lot lately - making sense of some weird ideas.

The Widow stood with her back to the door. Like always, she knew he had entered the room before he said something. Their first encounter since they took her away was only a blur to her. She remembered seeing him but not what had happened. But that was okay; she found that lack of knowledge pretty comforting. It happened a lot, but she didn't tell them when they asked her. Yet they seemed to know and were satisfied with that result.

"Yes, Soldier," she replied. She had been brought to her new handlers, who explained what she had to do. They had described it in such detail that she thought they believed she had gone stupid. What struck her was the fact they insisted on her understanding that the Winter Soldier would have the last word in everything. She was to respond to his orders like a soldier herself. She curtly nodded at them, giving her okay before they sent her to take on her gear.

She holstered her gun to her thigh and finally turned to him. Her gaze was calculating. Her whole presence was cold and she seemed almost bored. She stood straighter than she usually did, the only indication that they had meddled with her mind, except for two light bruises on her wrists and a dark one on her forehead near her hairline. But the rest of her wounds had healed quickly and left no scar.

Natalia noticed his relatively warm gaze but didn't respond to it. Just a tiny notion stirred in her that this gaze meant safety. Again an odd thought, so she almost instantly let it slip.

"Are you ready? We need to go, or else we're taking too much time," she said, mimicking him when he had talked about efficiency. Her voice made it evident that she wasn't one for chit-chat anymore.

Now that he looked deeper into the details of his mission, the Soldier understood why they were allowed to work together again. Perhaps that was always the plan, but this was much too urgent to the state to allow it to be flawed. An old and respected political figure of the court many years ago was suspected of selling information for years. It hadn't affected him much, and eliminating him would have been messier than necessary for the situation. Now, as it would turn out, the old man was dying; a cancer verdict called for the end of his life.

Apparently, a dying conscious thought it wise to speak. So he was to be eliminated. Inside sources said he would be going public soon, although he hadn't told any press or officials yet. He was traveling to the capitol tomorrow, meaning he must be readying his agenda then. So he must be eliminated before he could say what he intended to do. Otherwise, the death would be suspicious.

It seemed that his trip would be by car, and he would take two days to reach the Kremlin. It would be difficult; the man would surely have his guard up, fully expect something terrible come his way. That didn’t matter, none of their preparation would stop the Soldier from achieving his mission.

He glanced at Natalia as she spoke, pulling himself back.

<"The timetable is acceptable,"> He intoned and his gaze shifted momentarily before he pulled himself back. His focus was shattered by Natalia. He could think more freely again and handed the file to her as he passed her.

<"Familiarize yourself.">

He made his way to the garage where they would need a car. He was going to need to survey maps and look for checkpoints where they would be able to turn the road trip into a tragic accident. It was going to take much preparation in the day to come.

She looked at him passively, waiting for him to move or give her further orders. Finally, her shoulders straightened as he told her to go over the file once more.

<"Yes, sir.">

She took the given file from him and read through it repeatedly like it would make more sense if she knew the whole plan by heart. Finally, the Black Widow knew what she had to do. Either distract the target from making sure they come to a stop.

Perhaps it would be efficient for her to pretend her car had broken down in the middle of nowhere and she could mime the damsel in distress. Then the Soldier would come into the game and take a simple headshot as soon as the guards were distracted. Afterwards, they could make it look like an accident. It was essential to making sure that it looked like one, or else people would grow suspicious.

He started walking, so she followed obediently.

<"We can make it look like an accident near Tapyca. There aren't people around to come to his aide,"> she suggested in a tone that ensured the Soldier would have the last word. It wasn't for her to decide about the previous perimeter but for him. Her handlers had made it clear that she was to listen to him and he would have the last word. Why they thought she couldn't deal with things alone wasn't completely clear to her, but perhaps they simply wanted to make sure they succeeded. They did have a reasonable success rate together, after all.

The Black Widow kept her gaze still on the file until she was sure she knew every little detail of the file. Then, she waited for more orders.

<"We will scope the area,"> He agreed and took a moment in the garage before deciding this wouldn't be good enough. He walked around the cars and checked Natalia was still behind him before he stopped at the motorcycle. He reached into one of his vest pockets and pulled out the two-way receiver- that until he needed it, he didn't realize he had- and commed in. <"Asset to detour to stock-hold three.">

<"Asset cleared."> Was the scratchy response.

<"RRA Widow in tow,"> He explained the response came after long deliberation.

<"Widow cleared.">

He turned it off and put the radio away in the vest again.

<"We need better equipment,"> He said in the way of explanation, as it occurred to him Natalia was behind him. He slipped too easily into his missions.

He got onto the bike and nodded to indicate for her to follow him. It was the fastest and easiest to dodge until they reached stock-hold three. Then they could get the proper equipment for this level of operation. The directions seemed to come to him when he thought about it, although he had no idea where he had gotten the information.

She watched the scene and looked perplexed as he moved to the motorcycle. That's not how she had imagined this mission to go. For a moment, she stood there quietly, falling back to her introverted self before hearing him speak. The Black Widow thought he had spoken to her for a moment, but he apparently wasn't.

Once he explained that they needed better equipment, she nodded shortly. Romanova was sure he knew best and swung her leg around the motorcycle to sit behind him. This closeness felt familiar, even though she couldn't tell why. Soon, the familiarity was forgotten as her mind was set on their current mission.

<"We need blunt equipment. Knives and guns will draw unwanted attention,"> she told him as she placed her hands on his sides so she could hold onto him while they drove. Using both weapons would indicate that it hadn't been a car accident but someone had sabotaged the politician. They needed to move quickly and efficiently so neither his security nor the politician knew what was going on.

<"Yes," > He responded. She was correct; he couldn't physically harm them either. The man wasn't the problem. It was the security. They didn't need to worry about the investigation; officials would take care of that. It was the press coverage that it would need to look flawless to.

<"We need a vehicle similar to theirs, as well,"> He called back to her. Once they took down the guards, they'd need one to set up; it was a collision. A failure of the vehicles, perhaps. He opened the bay doors and revved the motor to life before he pulled out of the academy. The guards opened the gate and he slipped past them with ease.

As they paused before getting on the freeway, he reached down and pulled her hands tighter around his waist instead of simply on the sides. For obvious reasons, the bike hit higher speeds than it should, and he didn't want her to be surprised by it.

"We'll be going much faster, Natalia," He explained softly, surprised he'd slipped into his apparent, natural tongue.

The Soldier's mentality faded along the course of the drive, struggling to keep up with the wind whipping James' face and Natalia hugged so close behind him. Although for a moment, it didn't seem like they were two assets or that she was as lost as he was now... the pressure of retrieving her lifted... he just felt alive.

They moved past the guards and it gave her a strange thrill. Like it was her first time leaving the compound. The realization first hit in as he pulled her hands around his waist. It seemed like a silly gesture. It would take more than something like a motorcycle to knock her down on her bottom. But he was the boss, so she moved her hands like he guided them.

<"Okay..."> she replied, still using Russian despite her forgotten habit of talking in English with him.

They had done well, saying it was necessary to speak their mother tongue unless ordered otherwise or if the situation demanded that. Unfortunately, the times she had unknowingly used English with them hadn't ended well for her. They made sure she had forgotten, but the notion of leaning into Russian instead of any other language had stayed.

Romanova moved her face a bit as the air whipped cold on her skin. Now her own face was near the back of his head as she had moved it into his wake. She could smell him now and it stirred a motion in her as she leaned closer and held even tighter on him. It wasn't the fear that she might fall off the motorbike, but she simply wanted to.

His familiar smell and closeness stirred a memory in her. She was mocking him in front of the girls. No… of course, she wasn't mocking him. Romanova wouldn't dare to do such a thing, would she? She must have simply shown the girls how to improve their fighting skills. Just a small demonstration with his help.

He was acting so different to what she was used to. Then, like now, it almost seemed like the Winter Soldier in her memory was foreign to this man. The thought brought severe pain and she flinched in pain as she loosened her grip again, almost in reflex like she had burnt her fingers on him.

So she fell back into thinking about the trouble of how to kill the politician. Strangulation would leave bruises around the man's neck. With some luck, the press wouldn't mention or even spot that but chances were high that they did.

<"I think we should concentrate on how to make their car crash!"> she told him, leaning forward so he would hear her over the sound of the wind and continued <"-If we trap them like that, the press will see they crashed their own car. Others just need to be fast enough to remove the corpses and we would be able to strangle them. It might leave bruises, but that's the cleanest way. We need to get close to them and not leave any witnesses..">

She held tighter and he let off the gas minimally to enjoy it, so they were going closer to 140 mph now. He couldn't help how much he enjoyed having her so close. The knowledge that she didn't strictly need to lean in only supported the joyful feeling romping around in his chest. James felt more and more hopeful about their situation, about hers. Hope to change it and fix what happened to her. It was a sign to him that Natalia was in there, simply waiting for her time. He'd help her with that.

Natalia had been pressed close enough to his back that he felt when her body jumped minimally. He frowned, and although he couldn't take his eyes off the road, he thought about it. Something in her mind, perhaps? He didn't know, but it drew James more serious again. This mission might be too soon... for any of this.

While they put them together out of necessity, he was sure it may be a practical test to see if Natalia would return the same. If he wanted them to have more together, ones with more time... he may need to wait.

<"We can suffocate him as if it were on his own blood,"> James said simply, not persisting with the English merely because they were speaking of the mission. He could then make it, so he was bleeding internally. His arm could be made to hit hard enough that it would reflect impact with the car.

It was also difficult to switch languages back and forth when he struggled again with his focused mentality. Even Natalia could not fully drag his mind from its mission. Although when she'd stopped him from killing those men at the academy, he had paused instead of hurting her, so he took reassurance from that.

The men who had found the Academy. It clicked for him, suddenly, that those men weren't men... they... he knew them. No. James Barnes knew them. He suddenly wished for the files under the bed back at the academy to unconfuse him. He tried, though, to put names to faces... the one with the mustache especially felt familiar... Nothing. Finally, James grunted in pain and gave up.

Natalia was speaking of the mission now, which didn't help the pain. So he ended up focused on his mission instead. Although he could hardly hear her, he had to drop their speed again and shout to be heard.

<"Very good,"> He replied warmly, his mind still focused. That was his plan as well. <"The car we attain will be sufficient to ram them off the road."> With any luck, he'd die just like that. He never accounted for luck, though, he’d work with the assumption it didn’t happen. <"Then it will seem they crashed into each other. Or an animal."> Whichever lie the state came up with.

<"The difficulty is the security."> They could not be allowed to fire on them in a way that would leave evidence. Of course, bullets could be replaced and retrieved off the ground. But if it pierced anyone, they would not be so fortunate. <"No bruises that couldn't be made from a car crash,"> He responded and veered off the freeway towards the exit for the stronghold.

Romanova nodded even though he couldn't see her.

<"We simply need to get close enough to him. With some luck the security will die from the accident’s impact,"> she agreed and thought about their mission. Thinking about it was comfortable for her. It was like second nature and didn't bring the unbearable headache. So she retreated to that. For once, she started to overthink completing the ordeal. It didn't even occur to her that she usually went to improvise depending on how the situation worked out. Yet it seemed second nature to plan things out with the Winter Soldier to ensure he was alright with her own plan. It almost was an urge to do so.

Her mind snapped as he spoke warmly and looked at him. Again so strange to hear that kind of voice. It surprised her and she eyed him curiously just for a second before her gaze went calculated again.

<"Animal would be better. No hit and run and everything. The press cannot spin it into some sort of conspiracy theory,"> She told him seriously as she tried hard to keep the mindset and not get confused by the warm and almost gentle voice. She shook her head a bit. Should they also go hunting for an animal to leave a carcass there? Almost instantly, her mind screamed 'no' because there would be bullets within the roadkill but then again... The government could influence the police department into not looking into the carcass....

<"Should we go hunting for an animal they might have crashed into?"> she asked for his opinion.

<"Okay. No foreign bruises,"> she agreed and set her mind on that. Romanova held tighter on him as they exited the freeway so she wouldn't slip away from the motorcycle.

Luck wasn't pertinent to the mission. Plans needed to be made for the more challenging scenario so it could be conquered should it arise. Animals? He considered it and would tuck it away for a backup. It could explain the car crash.

Perhaps... he nodded and would have to think of the logistics. They could have the 'animal' hit the first car, and while he stopped their car, Natalia could crash their vehicle into the back ones to barricade them all together. They should have only one escort car, but it could be more.

<"Perhaps, if we have time,"> He responded. Otherwise, a deer could have hit them and ambled off. But Natalia was correct; with a carcass there, it would be easy to prove that was the culprit. The cars were speeding, perhaps swerved because of it. She voiced her understanding and his mind continued with two different plans for the mission until they arrived at the warehouse.

He checked in and they were left alone beside one escort that eyed Natalia as he selected their vehicle. He took the file and compared the makes. The Soldier nodded and took the keys and a better arsenal, offering Natalia to pick from them.

Finally, he loaded the bike into the back of the car. <"We may need to split up,"> He informed her as he closed the hatch on the black SUV. The maps he requested upon entering the facility were given to him and they were back on the road.

James slipped further and further away from being in the department and preparing the equipment for the mission. He was silent and focused on the drive there, and when they'd reached the nearest small town to the site, he parked the car in a public garage and retrieved the motorcycle so they could scope the area themselves.

Half a day later, they were finally able to scope the mission. They'd been contacted that the target had begun his journey to the capitol. He would pass here in less than a day, and the Soldier felt sure they were prepared as he looked over the scene.

<"Do you still require the animal?"> He asked, eyebrow-raising. It may be time-consuming to acquire one, but they were ahead of schedule. They worked well together.... the thought loosened his focus, pulling at the thread that was Natalia in his mind.

He glanced at her, seeing her suddenly and smiled once softly. Out here alone... he could do that openly and not need to sneak a glance.

Romanova nodded her head as he said they could do so if they still had time to do so. She thought about the possibility and what they needed to take care of. It wouldn't be about finding a suitable animal but what they needed to hunt it. They could make it look like it was hit by a vehicle. Somehow, the Winter Soldier seemed to have another plan, or so it seemed to her. It would be better to stick to his. He was in control of the mission, after all.

Subconsciously she was aware of the gaze of the guard. But her facial expression was blank, ready to follow any given order. It was almost like she had become a robot waiting for any task. Once he offered that she should pick something, she went for things that could imply that the victim was strangled to death. She ignored both knives and guns until it clicked, she might need a weapon to hunt a deer. So she secured it in the holster on her thigh. Apart from that, she was almost naked regarding tactical gear. It was clear that things weren't allowed to look like they had been shot or stabbed to death. A bruise from a strangle could look like it came from the safety belt post-mortem.

Once they were back on the road to their destination, Natalia was quieter than before. It almost seemed like she was lost in thoughts, but there weren't any. Her mind was blank except for the mission. She focused on it and made plans for any possibility of what might happen. She helped to secure the location and walked around, trying to figure out where the animals lived.

She was back and helped him with the rest. They were faster than what he seemed to have anticipated. Apparently, they were back on her idea of the mission.

<"No, I don't have a carcass yet,"> she answered, as he hadn't told her to hunt a deer yet. So she had remained from actually pursuing - just looking for them yet.

<"But about half a mile from here is a pond from which animals seem to drink. With some patience, a deer should appear,"> she told him, waiting for his approval to finally go and hunt one. She was so focused on her tasks that she didn't even notice that he had become more focused on her than the actual mission.

<"We can go together,"> He offered, his eyes sweeping the area again. It was all set up as it should be; this roadway was the only one within decent range they could pass through to get to the Kremlin.

The tree cover would be sufficient enough for him to leap out of and stop the car in front of him. Natalia could then ram into the other behind it when he jumped out of the way. He supposed the animal would do well for the cover. <"A deer or a bear would be sufficient,">. He mentioned as he headed towards the treeline.

Besides, there was much time for Natalia and him to return to the town and bring the car back here, along with the motorcycle they could depart on once it was finished.

This was the optimal time to talk to her; he still debating how far he could take things on a first mission... but he could at least enjoy it minimally. He thought about what she used to do, and usually... she just talked. Chatted about things he didn't deem necessary. Perhaps that was an excellent first step without prodding.

"Are you cold, Natalia?" He asked her, eyeing her jacket for a moment. It was likely sufficient, but it was colder in this region than that jacket probably helped.

She simply nodded and went towards the pond she had spotted hours earlier. She frowned at the mention of a bear and glanced at the Soldier. A bear would explain such damage, but those were usually smart enough to stay away from streets and humans. So the deer would be easier to hunt than the bear. <"We'll look for big animals,"> the Widow agreed and loaded her gun for the hunt.

She stopped walking and looked down at herself as soon as he asked if she was cold. Such a silly question confused her greatly. It had nothing to do with the mission, so she hadn't thought about or realized the chilly environment until now. So, why was he concerned about that in the first place? Was it essential for the mission whether or not she was warm? Almost instantly, Romanova knew that the answer to her own question was no. It was simply about her comfort, but that didn't matter in the success of the mission.

"A little... but it doesn't matter," she replied, truthfully unknowingly switching to English like he had. Romanova frowned even more as it seemed like things were becoming colder now that she thought about the weather. The urge to speak the truth to the Winter Soldier was there. They had told her two things: to do as she was told by him and to tell the truth. No tricks whatsoever.

She stopped suddenly and James turned a curious gaze towards her. She was staring, her eyes distant in a different way than the hollow look they both now shared at times. He looked at her sympathetically and just a bit guiltily. Such a strange new emotion, but Natalia bringing such things out of him shouldn't really surprise him anymore, should it?

"Yes. It does." He told her firmly, but his voice was low and soft. He was pleased she'd spoken in English, prompting a small smile from him again. Then, he snorted, amused suddenly at the warring expression on her face, wondering if it would irritate her as it would Natalia. James shrugged quickly out of his thick winter jacket. Before she could protest, he dropped it around her shoulders.

"Stay warm, Natalia," He told her and continued their walk not far from her. He had more stamina than she did, to begin with. It was more about wanting to keep her safe.

Besides, it reminded him of a time not too long ago, as they hobbled down that dark alleyway; it had been as close to something... his mind struggled with sudden, painful flashes, but as he'd coached her to do soon enough... he tried not to push James Barnes' memories away. The gesture in the alleyway, it was close to that man.

Somehow.

James glanced at her to try to alleviate some of the pain pressing down on his head. Here, with his jacket, he wasn't trying to recreate that memory; James simply wanted to show her kindness. He couldn't prod yet, but he could be kind to her as she had been to him. She'd been through so much already and was still too young to have been through what she had. Someone like her didn't deserve such things.

Romanova visibly tried to shake the feeling off of her. Cold didn't matter, but their mission's success did. Feeling cold wouldn't stop her from taking out the guards and their target like they had planned the past hours. Everything was designed to the smallest detail and she needed to stick to the plan: Making their victims look like they hadn't survived a car crash caused by an animal. Something that innocent so the government wouldn't be blamed by the press.

Her grim focus was broken in confusion again as he told her it did matter. Did it? She couldn't see any scenario where it mattered, but he was the Winter Soldier, so he was always correct from her point of view. They had told her that. They were always accurate and she was wrong. It seemed to be a spiral she couldn't escape from, even here in a field she should know well. She was wrong about something so small as the importance of being cold.

What surprised her the most was that no punishment followed the fact that she had been wrong. Instead, the Soldier remained nice, almost gentle and even lent her his jacket. That's what undid her thoughts and she looked at him, battling with his statement to stay warm.

<"You should keep the jacket, Soldier! If it's important for the mission to stay warm, then it's more important that you keep it!"> she told him sternly, but a headache came. Wearing his jacket felt familiar and like he was enveloping her in a secure hug. It felt familiar even though it shouldn't. It made her want to shed his jacket even more to escape that familiarity, but he had been clear to keep it on.

Soldier... and not Winter. He vaguely remembered her young declarations that it was not a name, and she wished not to call him it. Nevertheless, hearing that same term for him on her lips was disappointing.

Her distress pulled him from any mourning over it. She was more critical now. He had to do the work now to help her later.

"It is not for the mission Natalia," He told her simply, in English, stressing her name. He felt sympathetic again because he knew that declaration would confuse and pain her. So it did for him, but still, at times, it didn’t. Again, James wanted this to be kindness and nothing more. No reason, no necessity... James just wanted her to be warm. Safe and protected.... although he knew the latter two were not something he could promise her.

James could promise her warmth. From him... promise to find it again in her. Relight that tremendous fire that burned so brightly. He'd give anything to be burned by it right now. All this seemed like such a waste of time. They could be together, alone. He was so tempted, looking at her, thinking on that mission, to cup her face, feel her skin on his, taste her lips again... it could work. He wanted it so badly.

He knew that was fantasy. It was not how such things worked. Natalia's warmth was stolen from him and herself, and he needed to work intelligently to get it back.

"I have more stamina, I will get colder slower than you, and you are also necessary," He informed her to ease any distress she had and provide an out in a briefing. A logical reason for her to fall to, as he built in for himself. No one was better than him at that. It was necessary because he knew when they asked him, he had no choice but to answer those who controlled him. He knew he was controlled in this way by the Soldier, but James could decide what to feed the Soldier in some instances.

He'd do the same for her, even if she didn't consciously know it. It was imperative when she reported back. Until a time, they trusted her more and he could prod. For now, he felt it was safe enough to push her limit on things beyond a mission, to plant the idea there were such things without any pain attached.

It's not for the mission... It echoed in her mind and she frowned. The thought brought a headache because nothing was necessary besides the mission itself. Painful. It was not one of those light ones that she learned to live with. It was a piercing one, almost like her skull was divided into two parts; but that was irrational. No one tried to split it via force. Romanova simply flinched and brought her hand up to her temple.

She looked at him, trying to make sense of it, ut there was no reason for him to act this way towards her. Nothing about the mission like he had just stated. How he looked at her was like he was looking for something gone... It smoothed her frown and she looked back at him for a moment. Her mind wasn't occupied with the mission for a split second. It was almost like recognition sparkled in her gaze, but it was vastly replaced by confusion again.

Romanova nodded shortly and it did make sense. She wasn't as important as he was to this mission, but it would help no one if she froze. Of course, he would get his jacket back as soon as he showed signs of freezing, but she somewhat thankfully sunk into his jacket's warmth and safety. It was irrational, but it was the same feeling of security which had driven her to search for the room in which the Winter Soldier had trained.

"Okay," she agreed reluctantly and even slipped her arms into the sleeves of his jacket. She breathed in and shortly closed her eyes and a short smile appeared on her lips that was more one of Natalia than the Black Widow and her headache disappeared.

<"We're almost at the pond,"> she told him as she opened her eyes again while focussing on their mission. It made her headache go away and she seemed to relax even more.

He saw her there, under all the confusion. Or he imagined it, which was maybe more likely. Except this was Natalia, and he decided she could and would be able to. What mattered was that something was there, but he gave her the out so she wouldn't shut down or go too quickly. She'd been unstable in the sparring room; bringing her back to that point would help no one.

His mission required he didn't, too; the errant thought flickered through his mind.

James forced past it, easing the demands in his mind by looking for the animal again. He was rewarded with her smile. As she closed her eyes, her face seemed almost peaceful. James' chest warmed considerably and he watched with a certain amount of relief. Just his jacket brought out some of the closeness between them... and the hardship of this was worth seeing her smile like that again.

He refocused himself, falling in line with how well they worked together.

<"You're more silent than I,"> He told her he had never realized, but Natalia had before and commented. <"Go ahead and see if there's anything there. I will come up behind you and kill anything there."> He could make it appear as if it had been a death caused by impact and it would be safer for him to tussle with the animal if need be.

He also seemed to focus and gave her orders to go to the pond. What stopped her movement was the mention that she was more silent than he was. She hadn't realized that until now, but he was right. Every move he made was so damn loud to her. Even now, when he was standing still and breathing, he was louder than she was.

Romanova nodded and relaxed her body before she walked silently towards the pond. It was almost like she made no sound to the naked ear. Shee was sure that animals that could hear way better than they did would actually listen to her or hear them talk. So her hopes weren't that high to actually get to see an animal they could use as an excuse.

She was right about it. There were no animals around, but perhaps if she stayed really still and quiet, a deer might come their way. The Black Widow lost her sense of time as she waited quietly; it was almost like she was meditating. Finally, shortly before she wanted to return, her patience was rewarded. A smile appeared on her lips as a significant but beautiful deer appeared. It was almost too pure to be killed for something like this… but her sense of duty kicked in and she waved for the Soldier to move quickly.

The wait made him irritable and also made any control over himself slip away. Finally, he fell back beneath the surface of the Winter Soldier and he crouched down to let her wait for the animal. His focused mind went over their plans repeatedly, ensuring they were utterly efficient. Tweaking specific goals and adding backup measures.

Time didn't pass when he was like this, and it was no more or less time when she waved to him. He walked as silently as possible, but his weight and boots crunched enough as he got close that it spooked the animal. The Soldier sprung forward at that point and luckily, the pond made it run around and gave him time to catch up and finish it off.

He dragged it back to the road with her and tied it up in a tree so nothing could come to eat it before they got back. He was not sure where he knew to do that, but the information filled in as necessary.

<"We will go back now. To town. There is enough allotted time. We will bring the car back."> He informed her and retrieved the motorcycle from where they'd hidden it.

Romanova watched him spring forward and finish the animal. It didn't take long, even though he had been loud again. Finally, she left her hideout and helped him secure the carcass to a tree. She was impressed by this idea because she hadn't thought about that herself.

Once they were back at the motorcycle, she slipped out of his jacket and spoke. <"You need to warm up. The wait must've cooled your body."> That was an odd thought to her, but his earlier mention of how important it was to stay warm for the mission made her give it back to him and realize that he must feel cold by now. So again, she sat behind him with her hands placed around his midriff as they drove back to the garage.

He looked at her, slightly more thoughtful, as he took the jacket from her. His body wasn't hypothermic, so he hadn't addressed it. He didn't take note of it as long as it didn't shut down or malfunction. He didn't usually feel it either, but when he slid the jacket on, he did note his body's temperature rose.

The gesture made him smile, and he had brushed her hand purposefully when he took the coat. It wasn't incriminating, but it felt good to linger. Much better than the jacket.

Their touch and the drive back loosened his mind, but not as it had before. He was too close to his mission and had to time it out perfectly. They could not be spotted, so as they reached the garage, he turned to her and tossed her the keys. <"You will need to find a close spot to pull off and hide until they pass you. Then I will intercept on the road.">

Natalia looked back at him, unaware of him purposefully brushing his hand against hers. But it still made something jump within her and a small smile appeared on her lips. But nothing apart from the smile said that she had noticed the small motion and the tingle ran through her body by mere touch. But Romanova didn't address it because it didn't seem necessary for their mission. In fact quite the opposite. If it was anything, it would be distracting.

They’d made their way back to the nearby town without further incident, and she registered they were nearing their missions’ time frame when he parked. The Black Widow caught the keys and nodded dutifully.

<"I will make sure that they have no space to get away and escape,"> Romanova told him, focusing entirely on the mission now. They hadn’t been seen entering and could ensure the same of them leaving.

James checked his watch so they could wait the five minutes necessary to have any passersby not notice them leaving so soon after arriving. When it was time, he remained silent and got on the bike again and rechecked his motorcycle’s guages.

<"Sync our watches,"> He told her and pulled back the sleeve of his jacket to do so with her. Then he pulled a set of radios. <"Channel three."> He informed her as he tossed her the second radio and pinned the first one to his vest. <"Wait for twenty mikes out before following to the designated zone..">

She did as told, pulled up her sleeve, and ensured their watches were in sync. She caught the radio and turned it to the third channel as ordered.

<"I will wait,"> she gave him a short nod before getting into the driver's seat and waiting for him to leave before she looked at her watch to wait for the ordered 25 minutes. She sighed and checked her clock from time to time until it was time to leave. The Black Widow started the vehicle and thought about waiting one more minute, but the urge to please the Soldier's orders was more significant than the thought of staying longer.

An hour and fifteen minutes later, he had hidden the bike down the stretch of road from where they would institute the crash and circled back to where the animal was.

He'd already checked to ensure they'd left no tracks or breaks in branches or something to designate something more significant than an animal had been through. He wiped away a few of his boot prints and returned to the tree to untie the animal and heft it on his shoulders. He set it nearer the road for easy retrieval, took his rope from the tree, and repeated his steps to erase any footprints.

Then James waited.

Until he heard a car approach about a mile down the road, and, checking his watch, he assumed it was Natalia. She had not checked in yet, and he raised his radio to his face.

<"Asset to November."> He called, waiting for a response. <"Are you in place?">

The radio crackled on with the Winter Soldier asking for her perimeters. It had taken her longer than necessary to get in place. There had been a slow car in front of her but Romanova had known better than to overtake the car. It would only raise suspicion but perhaps she was only getting paranoid. Two minutes later she finally pulled into a hideout which seemed big enough for her car without her destroying the natural environment.

<"November to Asset: I'm in place, now,"> She confirmed even though she was unsure why he called her November. Romanova was the last one to question her aliases.

The radio went on with the Winter Soldier asking for her perimeters. It had taken her longer than necessary to get in place. There was a slow car in front of her. But Romanova had known better than to overtake the vehicle. It would only raise suspicion, but perhaps she was only getting paranoid. Two minutes later, she finally pulled into a hideout which seemed big enough for her car without her destroying the natural environment.

<"November to Asset: Target in range, but has back-up. I'll take care of it, but you must take care of the target. He is ahead of me. They must've expected something like this,"> Romanova called into the radio, not waiting for a reply or an order. Her head started aching by actively going against the ordered plan but it was a necessity for the success of her mission.

Romanova hit the brakes and her vehicle came to a halt. Without thinking, she shifted into reverse and hit with full speed force. Her car sped backwards and the back hit the second car full frontal. The impact knocked her forward against the steering wheel, leaving her panting for air. She felt dazed for a moment as the airbag hit her in the face, breaking her nose. She didn't have much time to think or recover. The Black Widow quickly moved out of the car, suddenly missing her gun, which she wasn't allowed to use.

She hurried to the back of her car and towards the second one. The driver's door opened and Romanova kicked it close full force making the man whine in pain.

She used the short moment to glance into the car. At least their target wasn't there. In fact, the car was almost empty instead of packed with security. Only two men were inside and Romanova looked in disbelief. She must've stepped right into their trap.

The first car with its target must be packed with security. This one was supposed to lure the second possible assassin away.

She wanted to hurry back to her car to get back to the mission, but it was too late.

The man from the driver's seat was already out to fight her. He slammed her against the trunk of her car and pressed down on her throat with a force that would surely leave marks. Romanova got dizzy as she wasn't able to breathe. She kicked full force against the man's chest, making him stumble away. She stood there panting for breath for a moment before she went to attack and fight.

Why she hadn't seen the second head fake was beyond her. All she could do was pull her opponent in front of her own body. She used him as a shield for the most impact. Romanova should've watched the second man. While she was busy fighting the first. The second man had pulled out a grenade and thrown it in their direction.

It detonated and slammed her against trees with the man in front of her. Romanova fell unconscious as her whole body felt like it was on fire.

She confirmed and he lay in wait. He'd started to get into position when his radio went off. He looked down with a growl in his throat. Backup would have implications for the secrecy of the mission. Past that, all the Soldier heard was that the target had passed through checkpoint one. It came speeding past him, clearly acknowledging the trouble behind them.

It did no good when the Soldier jumped into the road and planted his feet. He looked at the car, going twenty or more miles faster than they'd planned for and with aching, unignorable pain, he threw his left arm up and took the impact of the car hitting him.

He was slammed backwards, the hot pavement heating the rubber in his boots. He may not have stopped the car, but the impact with his metal arm made the car buckle in around it some. The driver prepared to hit the gas and the Soldier was thrown over the hood.

He hit it with a challenging twist and barely could flip his hand around enough to dig into the metal of the hood. They slowed, with their vision impaired, and it was enough for him to let go and appear to fly off. He caught the top of the vehicle with his hand instead. The Winter Soldier rode along the top for a moment before he oriented himself and slid down the side of the car.

His feet hit the rail below the car and he reached out to force the car door open with his metal arm, the locks breaking in the process. The car swerved, brakes squealing as he threw himself inside the car. As he knocked the driver over the head, his foot collided with the passenger security. He used the man's head to kick himself into the back seat and took his metal hand to ram each of the guard's heads into the back of the front seats hard enough their skulls cracked.

He slipped past the middle man and his foot broke the neck of the next man in the very back. Just as the other reached for his gun, the Soldier grabbed ahold of his head and banged it violently against the window side three times. He slumped and the Soldier grabbed the man in front of him to stop him from scrambling away.

The Soldier twisted and his cold, dead eyes landed on his target. He reached out for his head, as well, when suddenly, the two of them were thrown forward into the seats as the car crashed into the tree line. It disoriented him and his hearing went out, vision-threatening, but he pushed through it. The target was dizzily trying to push up off the console where his upper body had landed.

The Soldier twisted in the car and cupped the back of the man's head. He yanked him back and looked him in the face to double-check it was the target and not a doppelganger, considering his partner had had complications.

Target confirmed.

<“Please… the citizens must know… they deserve…”> The man begged as the Soldier rammed his head into the console once… twice… and then his target was eliminated. He stilled as the target was destroyed and checked around the car. All marks were dead, and no guns or weapons were drawn. He climbed out of the car, satisfied his mission was completed.

He climbed around the car, adjusted the door he'd broken earlier, tore it off its top hinge, and left it hanging there so it would appear the impact had broken it. Then he walked around to where the car had wrapped around the tree. He checked the hood over and with his metal fingers, he smoothed the grooves of his own fingers into a circular dent before he shoved a branch against it and melded it against the hood.

The Soldier didn't have time for further inspection because the ground around him shook with an explosion. His eyes turned sharply south and he took off at a quick run to get to the first checkpoint with the Black Widow.

He dragged the deer out on his way and made it look like it had been hit on the road before he made his way to the explosion. There could be no witnesses… and there was not supposed to be an explosion, especially not so far away.

When he got on the scene, he quickly saw a man edging closely towards where the signs of a small explosion were. Subtly gone from this site, it would need to be scrubbed, he reached to the side of his leg and withdrew his handgun. He walked up closer before firing two shots. One went into the man's chest, the second straight through the back of his head. He dropped near the rubble and the Soldier's eyes accessed quickly for more.

None.

This needed to be fixed quickly. Perhaps if the tree was not damaged, these two cars could be disposed of and the primary scene further north could be contained as it ought to be. He reached into his vest for the smaller, long-range radio he'd used back at the Academy.

<“Asset reporting, mission compromised. Over.>

<“Mission report.”>

<All targets eliminated. Prime target site contained. Secondary site active. Clean up require-"> His words were cut off by a secondary blast. The fire from the explosion had hit the second car they had brought and blew. The Soldier was thrown back over, arms blocking his face as they scraped across the asphalt. He shook it off quickly and looked down at his broken radio.

He snarled and crushed the broken parts under his fist. Their car for the mission ahead was now nothing more than a burning frame. The Soldier could do no more but wait for cleanup and extraction, eliminating any who showed up at either of the scenes.

His eyes fell over their burning car. The car…... Natalia.

His mind reeled for a second, and a momentary panic took over the Soldier's stoic nature. He ran towards the car, looking over the burning frame for a body. None. He ran to the second car; that second half was shredded by whatever had caused the explosion. He ducked through it and found nothing. He stepped over the body he'd slugged down. His eyes darted over the scene and it wasn't until he dropped down into the side embankment that he saw something.

He found one burned body and his hands hovered before he took in size, and with detached relief, he knew it was not her. Instead, he could see someone underneath, and with his unnatural strength, he flung the dead body off of her and threw it high through the air and back onto the road.

<"Natalia!"> He called as he looked her injuries over. She did not respond and the Soldier leaned down to check for a breath. He didn't feel anything and wrapped his hand around her neck, thumb pressing into the side of it to find a pulse. It was there... it was there but very weak. He scrambled for the secondary radio and tried to extend the channel... but there was nothing.

He took in her condition. Her face was covered with blood, her clothes were singed. There seemed to be a thick part of a branch that had pierced her forearm. The Soldier knew how long an extraction team would take... and if she had any internal bleeding or the burns were too bad, she would die with such a weak pulse.

A war broke out within him, and his narrowed irises glanced wildly between her and the road. He had to stay, make sure no one stumbled upon the scenes. His mission was never over until he hit extraction, but... Natalia would die, especially without some sort of medical care. His hands, metal and flesh, hovered over her. She may die. His mission was primarily complete.... but how could he get her to help? It did not...

His gaze landed on the road. The motorcycle. It had been tucked away for their quick extraction. The thought and the sight of her forced him into action, and James grabbed ahold of his shirt beneath his vest and yanked at the material. It hung limply between his fingers as he grabbed ahold of her arm and peeled it out of the branch. He wrapped the fabric over her wound as a makeshift tourniquet and pulled off her extra gear, so she would have less pressure on the light burn wounds.

Then he did his best not to jostle her as he pulled her into his arms and raced down the highway. He passed his mission and flinched as his head burned from his lack of correct protocol. He... her coming back alive, that had to be to the mission's success, did it not? He knew, deep down, it wasn't true, but it was enough to force his feet to move again to his own will.

He dug out the motorcycle and placed Natalia awkwardly, facing his chest as he got on the bike. Then, with his metal arm, he cradled her broken body against his and kicked the bike into gear to race them away from the scene.

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crazyinlovewithbucky · 1 year

Text

My Bucky Barnes Masterlist

fluff💗 - smut❤️‍🔥 - angst🖤

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“you’ve bewitched me doll” 💗❤️‍🔥

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“Aphrodite” 💗❤️‍🔥

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“Let me put my hands on your knees, you can braid my hair” ❤️‍🔥

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“don’t fill your void with me” Pt. 1 🖤❤️‍🔥

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“don’t fill your void with me” Pt. 2 🖤❤️‍🔥💗

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"My Girl." 💗❤️‍🔥

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ravenromanova · 8 months

Text

Missed you

Pairings: BuckyNat x Female reader

Warnings: Nothing really just fluff and light smut 18+!

Summary: Bucky and Nat come home from a two month long mission and just need their girl.

Word count: 1.k (Just a little drabble of my babies)

Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!

As the sun rose through the window and hits your face you groan as you come to. Rolling over you grab your phone and check to see if there’s any messages as you rub your eyes. That’s when you see that your lovers have blown up your phone while you were asleep.

You cant help the smile that forms on your face at their messages. You text both of them back within a couple of seconds before you put your phone a down and get up. Finally you decided as got up that you wanted to surprise your loves when they got home.

So you sauntered over to your shared closet and pulled out a black and a red tie dye like lingerie set and walked into the bathroom. You turned on the shower along with some music before stripping down and getting in. It felt nice under the warmth of the shower and for a moment you were calm. That was until you realized that you were seeing Bucky and Natasha for the first time in two months.

Sure you’d been with them for two years now but you’ve never been away from them this long. For some reason you felt nervous as you washed your body but quickly realized it was a good nervous. The kind of nervous you would feel as a kid looking at her crush. The kind of nervous that made your heart yearn for them.

Once you finished exfoliating, shaving and moisturizing you turned off the shower and dried yourself off. As you dried yourself off you quickly looked at the time and saw you had about an hour til they got back. You were quick to dry off and put on the lingerie as well as a small black robe that stooped at your knees.

You hummed along to your music as you straightened your hair and put on some light makeup. As you looked at yourself in the mirror a spark of confidence grew within you and you thought ‘damn i look good’. Your thoughts were quickly cut off as you felt a pair of hand wrap around your waist.

“Hi babydoll” He whispered and you looked in the mirror to see your beautiful super solider behind you.

“Hi” You smiled and turned around in his arms to face him. Quickly you were met with your gorgeous redhead coming into the bathroom. And you were quick to leave Buckys arms and run into hers.

“Mmm hi dekta” Nat whispers into your hair as she kisses your neck. She pulls you out of the bathroom with bucky in suit. Natasha stopped walking as the back of her thighs hit the bed. Before you get get any words out her lips were on yours. Bucky came up behind you and wrap his hands around your waist as you kissed Natasha. He grabbed your hips and pressed it back on his hard cock and groaned at the contact.

“Need you dekta” Natasha moaned into your mouth as your hands found their way to her nipples under her shirt. You were quick to push her on the bed and step in between her parted legs. Bucky moved to sit next to her and you kneeled in front of her. He was quick to smash his mouth into hers as you took off her pants.

Natasha groaned as Bucky left a dark mark on her neck and you kissed her clothed pussy. Before you continued you slipped off your robe and let it pill around your feet before throwing it to the side. Bucky groaned at the sight of the lingerie set him and Nat picked out for you clinging to your body.

After you took the robe off you placed your hands on Natasha’s soft thighs and left wet kisses trailing up. She moaned at the contact and grabbed onto Bucky as your fingers brushed her clothed clit. You leaned in so you were mere centimeters away from her and then you licked her clit. Natasha’s back arched at the contact and you kept teasing her as you smirked.

“Oh come on babydoll stop teasing the poor thing” Bucky chucked as Natasha keep squirming under your touch.

“Awe but its so much fun” You pouted in response and she just groaned in frustration as you kept teasing.

“Dekta please” She finally spoke as your teasing got to much. You simply nodded your head and finally took off her panties in one swift motion. From there you were quick to lick her wet folds. You spread her pussy with your fingers as you sucked her clit. Both Natasha and Bucky moaned at the sight of you eating Nat.

You flicked your tongue up and down her pussy and she gripped on to Buckys hair as he sucked her nipple. Natasha screamed as you added a finger into her and started fucking her at a slow pace.

“Oh fuck dekta” She moaned as you sped up and added another finger. Within seconds Natasha came undone on your fingers and tongue and you smiled.

“Bucky did you not fuck our poor baby while you were away?” You taunt Bucky before you kiss him and both moan at sharing Natasha’s taste.

“Oh no i did but we both know how insatiable our little slut can be” He responds and kisses Natashas head and moves her to the head of the bed.

“It’s not my fault, Look at the two of you” She giggles as she gets under the covers and Bucky gets a rag to clean her. You let out a laugh as you lay with her and pull her into your chest. A minute later he comes back to clean her up and laying on the other side of you.

“Missed you babydoll” He husks in your ear as his cock presses up against your ass. You moan at his movements and then you notice Natashas hand trailing down your body down to your pussy.

“You two will be the death of me” You say preparing yourself for the day ahead of you.

i do not give permission for my work to be spoiled or translated on other cites

Hi lovebugs! i decided to post this a little early since i wrote it within 10 minutes and thought it was cute 🥰 lmk what yall think and i’ll see you later ❤️🖤 Dont forget to like and reblog ;)

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stuckymonkey · 8 months

Text

Help Me

BuckyNat

Pairing - buckynat x enhanced!reader

Summary - y/n is having a really rough period and enlists the help of her girlfriend and boyfriend to make the pain go away

Warnings - blood, periods, cramps, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, shower sex

Word count - 2.5k

a/n - I recently had my period, and coming up with this story was the only thing that kept me going

I was embarrassed. This was possibly the most embarrassing thing I've ever done. I called my partners, Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff while crying on the toilet. In my defense, I am enduring the most pain I have ever been in.

Their arrival was made known to me by my front door slamming open and Natasha scolding James for being so rough. He knocked quickly on the bathroom door, waiting impatiently for an answer. "Y/n/n?" he called, his voice much softer than his hurried actions. "Baby? Come in," I whimpered at the end of my sentence.

"Oh sweetheart," Nat said, following Buck into the bathroom. They sat beside me while I cried and whimpered in pain for close to an hour, taking turns making me sip water and wiping a cool cloth over my forehead. After I felt confident enough to venture out of the bathroom, we all sat on my bed.

I enjoyed the comfort of my room and soft blankets with my two lovers sharing their body heat with me. "Have you eaten yet, med?" Natasha asked. I shook my head in response. She tsked at me before declaring she would go prepare us something light.

After twenty minutes and no return of the redhead, Bucky decided to go check on her, leaving me alone in my room with my hot water bottle. I had time to think about how to make myself feel better when an incredible idea came to me. I tried waiting patiently for them to return so I could tell them my idea.

Ten more minutes passed and neither of them had returned. Had they left? I scurried to the kitchen where I saw the two loves of my life arguing about what to put on my toast. I playfully shook my head and rolled my eyes.

Here they were, the cutest ex-assassins on Earth, bickering about whether I would enjoy strawberry jam or nutella better tonight. "Excuse me," I started. Their heads snapped to me standing in the doorway of the kitchen in one of Nat's old shirts, one that she probably stole from Bucky.

"I have a plan. Nat, you're going to sit on my face while Bucky uses his metal arm to take out my uterus." The redhead's eyes darkened and she let out a low moan at my quest. Bucky's, on the other hand, widened as if I had two heads. "God, please malyshka," Came from Nat's mouth at the same time Bucky's produced a "No, Y/n are you insane?! No!"

I whimpered at his words, smirking on the inside as Natty came to wrap herself around me. "Good girl," I purred in her ear. I couldn't help but wince as a wave of cramps hit my lower abdomen. Bucky's facial expression softened at this and he came to join our embrace, kissing each of us on our hairlines.

"I have a better idea, dekta." He spoke against my temple. Nat looked up at him with curious eyes. "You'll feel good too, don't you worry," He said, pecking her cheek as he walked away, motioning us to follow him.

Bucky led us to the large bathroom and started up the shower. I quirked my eyebrow at him, curious as to what he was doing. This didn't seem very pleasurable and I was not in a mood to wait. Slowly he started stripping Nat, kissing each part of her bare skin as it became exposed. Once he was done he coaxed her into the warm shower where she moaned at the comfort of the hot water.

"You next, kitten." His voice sounded rough, filled with held back lust. I was desperately sucking at his neck and collarbone as he undressed me, taking less time than he did with Natasha, knowing my low threshold of patience. "Good girl," He praised as I stood bare before him. I went to help him undress but he quickly nudged me into the direction of the shower.

Upon entering the shower, I saw Nat soaking herself under the water, sliding her hands all over her glorious and slippery body. I moaned and moved over to her, grabbing a loofa and squirting some soap on it, beginning to run it over her body. She watched me with wide and hungry green eyes, her lip caught between her teeth.

As I was working the soap over her body, I felt something come between my legs and push them apart. I looked down to see Bucky with his head between my legs. My mouth hung open at the sight, he kept his eye contact with me as he licked a testing stripe through my folds. "Bucky, the blood," I whined. "Shhh, it's okay, doll. Trust me." He had barely finished his sentence before his mouth was on me again, working his tongue around my clit and teasing my entrance.

While he worked I finished cleaning Natasha, then started giving her nipples some attention. Her head flew back as I started to roll and twist the buds between my wet fingers. I started massaging her right breast, taking my other hand to grab her hair and guide my face to mine. I swallowed her gasp with my lips, capturing her in a messy kiss.

Her tongue danced with mine while I continued to abuse her hard nipples and Bucky moved me closer and closer to the edge. I started grinding on his face, pulling Nat closer by her hair and working my mouth over hers even more. I moaned and whined into the kiss. Bucky moved one hand up to still my hips and the other to tease at my entrance.

I moved myself off Natasha to moan his name, coming out a little whinier than I had hoped. I kept trying to grind on him but he just held my hips tighter, finally sinking two fingers into my soaked heat. Natasha took the lead this time, grabbing me with both hands and bringing my face to hers.

The kiss was messy and exactly what I needed to be pushed to my first orgasm of the night. I squealed into her mouth at the pleasure and kneaded her breasts gently as Bucky licked my cunt to soothe me from my recent high. I started slowing down our kiss, giving her sweet pecks and Bucky moved his head away from my core.

"Taste so good," He said, coming up to kiss Natasha. She kissed me after, letting me taste myself on her tongue. I moved down to face Bucky's girthy cock, giving it kitten licks while looking between him and Nat. He groaned as I took his length further down my throat, almost reaching the base but not quite. I whined when another wave of cramps hit me.

I used one hand to play with his heavy balls and the other to grasp the remainder of his cock. He started to move his his, earning a slap to the thigh from me. "Looks like our kitten has some sass." Nat snickered. "Shut up." He grumbled, to which Natasha replied "Make me."

This led to Bucky roughly making out with Nat and me groaning at the erotic sight. At the vibrations my mouth sent over his cock, Bucky moaned into Natasha's warm mouth. "Fuck," he said, moving his hips a little more, breaking his kiss with Nat to gauge my reaction.

The redhead kneeled down and started massaging my breasts, "Look at our good girl," She cooed, settling beside me to watch as I took Bucky at a fast pace. His hands threaded through my wet hair, I tried to relax my throat as much as I could, giving him permission to use me how I needed.

Nat's hand went to the brunette's ass, encouraging him to snap his hips into my mouth. His balls hit my chin with each thrust, making me wet all over again.

Bucky started moaning more frequently, letting us know that he was close to the edge. He looked so gorgeous when his cock was down one of our throats. His eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth was slightly parted, letting out the filthiest moans at our actions.

A harsh slap was delivered to Bucky's soft ass from Natasha, which brough him to his release. Hearing the noise her slap created his eyes blew wide and he let out a high whine. I groaned as I felt his hot cum shoot down my throat, doing my best to swallow it all. I kept working him through his orgasm, only stopping when he pulled away with a satisfied shudder.

I turned my head to meet Nat in another kiss which got interrupted by Bucky whining at being left out. The redhead pulled back and shared a look with me before standing up and slowly kissing Bucky. He tried to kiss her harder, to which she pulled back completely.

"Take what I give you," She spat, going back to gently kissing his soft lips. I loved when Natasha dominated him but was soft with me. He gave soft whimpers and moans as she worked her lips over his. I went on my knees and started licking at her cunt from behind. I could hear her give a low chuckle into Bucky's mouth, obviously pleased at my actions. I reached around her to grab Bucky's half-hard cock and give it a few tugs, making him harder just like I wanted.

Nat pushed herself back on my face, enjoying the friction. As Bucky's cock hardened up I moved it towards Nat's entrance, watching as I teased it through her folds. She let out soft and sweet noises as I moved her to stand close to Bucky. After some more teasing I guided Bucky's thick length into her warm cunt, enjoying the pleasureful noises they let out at feeling each other.

I moved off of Nat and stood behind Bucky, watching between the two where their bodies met. I held on to Bucky's waist and started biting and sucking on his shoulders as he thrusted into Nat. He wasn't going to last long, and neither was she. I could tell they were close when Bucky's moans became loud and desperate, and Natasha let her head fall into Bucky's neck.

They both came with cries of euphoria. Nat's nails dug into Bucky's marked up shoulders, adding little half moons to my small bruises and marks. He rutted into her slowly, helping her ride out her climax. "There you go, I got you sweet girl." The brunette petted her hair softly as she came down from her high, smiling at me over his shoulder.

I kissed her lips softly and reached around to rub her back. They seperated and we all shared a few lazy kisses, finishing up our shower in lukewarm water. Bucky and Natasha helped me dry off and then sent me to the bedroom where I found the bed made, fuzzy blankets set out and my hot water bottle. I hurried to the kitchen to heat up my water bottle and to take more advil while I waited for them to come out of the bathroom.

When I returned to the bedroom, I noticed that there were black towels placed over the bed. "Guys, how many times do I have to tell you that wet towels do not belong on the nice, dry bed?" I snapped. "Relax doll, they're dry too." Bucky said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and went to take them off my bed when Natasha's warm hand stopped me. "Leave them, malyshka. Trust me." She kissed just under my ear and let her grey towel fall to the ground, revealing her body in all of its glory.

Her breasts were full and round, nipples still perky from being twisted. I could see her cunt and it was puffy from the activities of the shower. "Come here, y/n." She cooed, laying down on the soft pillows and beckoning me to follow her. "Strip baby." Bucky commanded, walking out of the bathroom with still damp hair and a towel slung dangerously low on his waist.

I started at him as a few water droplets rode down his Adonis belt and into the confines of the towel. My eyes snapped to his as he walked closer, and I quickly started to take off my fresh pajama shorts and baggy shirt.

"Lay on Natty for me." He directed. "Ass up." I positioned myself so my chin rested on the redhead's abdomen. Licking around her chest as I waited for Bucky to tell me what to do next. Instead of speaking to me, he ended up pushing my hips so they met the bed. I could hear him shuffling behind me, and I looked to Nat. She was watching him with dark eyes when I felt him sheath himself into my heat. I moaned at the feeling of him sliding against my sensitive walls.

Bucky thrusted slowly into my pussy, letting his balls slowly hit my ass. I felt that familiar feeling in my core, "B-bucky, harder" he listened to my plea, snapping his hips faster, perfectly rubbing my sensitive cervix. "Ahhh," I wiggled around, trying to ensure that he thrusted into my cervix every single time. "There you go pretty girl," he cooed, rubbing his hands over my back. "Is that what you wanted? Needed us to fuck you nice and good? Hitting all the right places in your tight, sensitive little cunt?" He asked. "Yes! Bucky! Please," my eyes started to tear up, Nat started playing with my hair while I sucked on her sensitive nipples, biting at them every now and then, earning sharp hisses from her small mouth.

"Bucky!" I cried, starting to feel my walls clench around him. "Cum for me, doll." His mouth came to suck on my ear as his hips continued helping me through my orgasm. I cried out as his finger played with my clit. I was a whining mess, and shortly after Bucky's hips stuttered and he emptied his hot seed into me.

"Good girl," he praised. I felt Nat frame my face with her hands, brining me off her boob. She kissed my forehead before rolling me over to cuddle into her side. "Bucky?" I asked, noticing his absence. "Right here doll." He smiled. His hair had dried by now and he pulled on some black boxers. "What's in your hand?" I asked from my spot at Nat's side. "Fresh underwear, a pad and boxers." I cooed, taking the items happily.

Our redhead was quick to snatch them from my hands. Throwing the boxers at Bucky and putting the pad on my underwear. She shushed me when I offered to help, lifting up my hips and sliding on the panties. Then bucky put his extra boxers on overtop. I kissed them both in thanks and cuddled more into our girlfriend's side.

Before we went to sleep, Bucky turned off all the lights and got both me and Nat shirts. "Thank you," I mumbled. "Of course, baby." "Anything for you, kitten."

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blood-and-winter-buckynat · 3 months

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A BuckyNat story where their cats Alpine and Liho figure out that their humans like each other and decide to get them together, so the two cats arrange a series of feline hijinks to make sure their humans take time out of their busy superhero/villain/mercenary schedules to clean up the mess and "Nat, I'm so sorry, idk why my cat's been acting weird lately--" "Liho, why do you keep going over to Barnes' apartment?" But those 'chance' meetings are enough to trigger some chemistry and soon their owners don't mind their cats visiting each other, in fact Bucky and Natasha start going out.

#prompt #buckynat #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #fic idea #liho the cat #alpine the cat

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littlemissmarvelous · 1 year

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Ruins

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

If you have any sort of triggers regarding SA or have PTSD DO NOT READ.

I went through something a few years ago and I’ve been plagued with it a lot recently and so I tried to write it out to relieve my PTSD.

Your skin felt grimy.

Bile was in your throat threatening to spill from your mouth.

Your heart lies within your stomach in pieces.

The trip home from the solo mission was full of you not facing the reality of the situation. What they did. Even at the thought of them, the tears sting your eyes and your chest is tight and all of a sudden you can feel every single forced touch.

You rushed to your room as soon as your jet landed, disarming and stripping yourself of your blood soaked clothes. You’re numb as you subconsciously drag yourself into the bathroom and turn on the tub to watch the hot water rise. Sinking into it, you feel your muscles relax but your insides are still a mess. Your eyes travel to your skin and it’s like their fingerprints are everywhere painting your skin.

next thing you know your skin is red and raw and you’re holding the loofah. you shudder as tears stream down your face silently.

you find your face in the mirror in front of you, a stranger stares right back.

Days blend together as you find yourself staying in your room rather than visiting with the team but you can’t seem to care if they noticed. You couldn’t find yourself caring about anything lately really. Steve noticed this and took you off missions to see if he could maybe get a reaction out of you. To his dismay, you simply shrugged and retreated right back to your room. Him and Nat shared concerned glances with each other and Bucky stared after you with concern. You hadn’t spoken much about the mission, just simply handed them the drive and muttered, “mission complete”.

The break from missions gave you even more time to fall deeper into the hole you were digging yourself and you were too tired to stop yourself. You were a stranger to yourself and now your friends. The eyes in the mirror were not your own, but the pain they held was all that was left of you. Your knives stayed in their sheaths, your books in the shelf, your pen and journal in their drawer. A ghost has began to reside where you once did as more and more of yourself died.

How many days had passed? was it weeks? you weren’t sure. it was all a blur as you walked mindlessly through the tower. Eyes fell upon you and you knew they were curious but you couldn’t open your mouth to explain why.

you weren’t ready yet.

would you ever be?

You’re making yourself coffee when he says your name.

“Y/n.” Steve says sternly.

Your grip tightens on your mug but you do not turn. “Yes Steve?”

“what is going on with you lately? what’s wrong with you?” He asks and you know he’s frustrated. You have to remind yourself he doesn’t know.

“i’m fine.” you simply reply and give your signature shrug.

This however made steve MAD.

“Fine?! You were barely training, your missions became sloppy, you haven’t been talking to any of your teammates! You could have gotten yourself or any one of us killed on those missions if you had gone, you weren’t even trying at training!”

you know he wants a rise out of you. you know he wants you to show that you care but you’re so numb that you simply stand their and take his rant. He was right. Nat is staring at you worried from the couch and Bucky finds himself gravitating towards you to comfort you.

“Seriously y/n, do you not even care? about us? about being an avenger? Maybe we made a mistake making you one of us. Maybe you don’t belong here.” Steve seethes.

The last straw inside you breaks.

“I was FUCKING RAPED STEVE! Is that what you wanted to hear?!” You explode and he stares at you in shock, eyes wide. “Did you want me to tell you how they forced themselves upon me and i can’t get the disgusting feeling of their hands off my skin? or how they cut my skin if I tried to fight back? Or maybe you wanted to hear how they loved when I screamed in pain until I was sobbing? Or MAYBE you wanted me to tell you how i can’t even fucking look in the mirror anymore without seeing how utterly broken I am. Is that it? is that enough of a fucking reaction that you wanted out of me?” Your chest is heaving and your cheeks are wet with tears, the room silent after your outburst.

It’s then you realize just how many people now know happened to you. You quickly turn to run out of the room, only to slam into Bucky.

“Doll i’m so-“he begins.

“just leave me ALONE!” you yell and let your feet carry you to your room where you immediately shut and lock the door before screaming your lungs out.

The truth was out. they knew how dirty you were. How disgraced and disgusting you felt. Broken. Useless.

Your scream echoed so loud you’re sure the whole compound could hear it.

There’s a knock at your door and you freeze. No no no, you weren’t ready for this yet. The pity was not something you wanted to experience right now.

“Y/N, it’s me, Nat.” Her voice travels through the door, “I know you might not want to talk to us but I just want you to listen to me for a little bit okay? can I come in?”

Your brain screamed at you to not let her in. Solitude will heal, it yelled. Nobody wants to hear about what happened. What were you supposed to say anyways? How weak you were? You couldn’t hear anyone tell you how this was your fault…it would surely break whatever you had left. You cover your mouth as a sob escapes your mouth and your heart clenches in pain.

“I can’t. I can’t.”

You hope she hears the whimpers because you can’t find it in you to speak anymore. Sinking down to the floor you let silent tears stream down your cheeks as you heard her steps take her body away from your door. You hated that you were pushing away your best friend but you couldn’t let anyone near you, get close to you. Not yet.

Two days later another knock at the door.

“Go away, please…” you call.

“Y/n? It’s Dr. Cho…I need to examine you, if that’s okay. I want to make sure you don’t have any lasting injuries from…the incident. It’s just me.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and take a deep breath before dragging yourself to your door and opening it a crack. “You promise you’re alone?”

Helen nods with a warm small smile and you step to the side and open the door more to let her in, closing the door and locking it after she passes you.

She sets her medical back on your chair and looks around to see the best place to examine you and you’re suddenly aware your room was a catastrophe. You hang your head in embarrassment and apologize quickly, “I’m sorry for the mess Helen…it’s been a rough few days.”

She shakes her head and reassures you, “It’s okay, how about we clear off a space on the bed and set up there?”

You simply nod and quickly strip the bed of the excess mess so Helen can lay out what she needed. She softly tells you to strip down from the waist down, not trying to upset you. Your hands shakily strip and take the sheet from the doctor hands that she offers you.

“Just lay back and relax okay? I will be as quick as I can.”

You nod and close your eyes as she begins the exam, tears silently starting to leak out as you realize she is going to know the full extent of what happened. The damage. Ten minutes later she hands you your bottoms back and writes a few things down before facing you again. Her eyes were sad as she grabbed your hand.

“I am so sorry that this happened to you, y/n. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I’m going to leave a card for a really great therapist, okay? Use it only when you’re ready.”

I nod at her words, unable to find enough air in my lungs to form words. Her caring words just made you want to cry more, made it more real. You find yourself staring into space as her figure disappears and you hear your door close. Mumbled voices on the other side of the door, one you recognized distinctly as bucky.

“Please Helen, how is she? Can I see her?” He begs.

Helen shakes her head. “No, I’m afraid you can’t Sergeant Barnes. She needs space and time to heal, and to be frank…I don’t think she wants any…male attention right now.”

Turning her head to Tony who stood a few feet away with his eyes glued to the floor and hands in his pocket. “Tony, can I speak to you and Dr. Banner alone?”

Tony simply nods and sends a quick text to Bruce to let him know to meet them in his office. Once gathered, Helen shut the door, locked it, and turned to the two men. Before she could speak Tony interrupts, “before you start… I think it’s best Nat be in attendance. If this is about y/n, then another woman should be present so she can be more helpful.”

Helen nods and unlocks the door, opening it to see Nat already standing there. Giving here a sad subtle smile, Nat walks In and Helen locks the door once again. Now facing the three she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she spoke, “After further examination of Agent (y/l/n), it’s come to my attention that her injuries were far more severe than I thought.”

“How bad?” Nat asks shakily.

When Helen’s eyes open, they’re full of tears. “I don’t want to go into exact details but the damage done was significantly extensive. The scarring is…immense. I could potentially help heal with the cradle but she is no where near ready for that. I’m afraid her mind is what took the most damage. I left her Doctor Raynors card for her but I’m not sure when or if she’s going to be up to it.”

Tony sighs and let’s his face fall into his hands. “So what do we do now?”

“Now you just let her know you’re there and wait for her to be ready. Dr. Banner you should run routine check ups on her, her nutrition is below what I would like for her. Agent Romanoff can help you with that,” She turned to face Nat, “You’re one of the only women here so you are going to be better at getting close to her than anyone else. She’s going to need you.”

Nat nods as tears slowly paint her cheeks and nails dig into her palms. Bruce places a hand on her back in comfort while he tries to keep his own cool.

After Helen leaves and it’s just the three remaining, a angsty silence fills the room. They knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but their hurting hearts wanted to save you from the abyss that was swallowing you whole.

One week passed.

Nat knocked every day, no answer. Friday ran a health check as best she could. Bucky slept on the floor just outside your door just in case you needed him.

Two weeks passed.

Nat knocked every day, no answer. Friday kept running health checks as best she could. Buckys back was feeling it from the sleeping on the floor. But it was worth it if you might need him. Even if you hadn’t called for him.

The third week came.

Nat knocked every day.

It was a Wednesday when you finally opened the door. Nat had to keep her face from falling at the sight of you. Face pale, eyes dead with bags under them from no sleep, and she could tell you had lost weight in an alarming way.

Smiling weakly you say, “Hey Nat. Come in.”

You open the door wider and step to the side to let her past. As you do your eyes find bucky on the floor and your heart aches but you can’t bring yourself to call to him. Not yet.

Closing the door behind you, you sigh and turn to face her. “I know it probably is a mess in here for you and I look terrible I really apologize.”

Nats voice trembles as she asks, “can I hug you? Is that okay?”

Your face pales even more but you nod with a gulp and the next thing you knew the redheads arms were encasing your frame.

“Don’t ever apologize for anything, okay? If anything I’m sorry you had to go through all of it. I know you know that I understand what you went through more than anyone else here. So I want you to know that I’m here throughout it all, okay? You aren’t alone in this. You never have to be alone again.” Her tears are wetting your shirt as she speaks just like you know you’re now wetting hers.

Sobs wrack your body as you cling to your best friend for dear life. “No matter what I do I keep seeing it. Feeling it. I can’t escape it! I feel their touches like they were burned into my skin and it makes me sick…and scared. I wasn’t strong enough to stop them, they kept telling me I was weak over and over. And you know what? They’re right. I couldn’t protect myself. What good am I to the team at that point?”

Her arms grip you tighter at your words, holding your shaking body as the sobs kept coming before leaning back to be able to grab your face to force you to meet her eyes. “You are the best teammate we have, do you understand me? This is not your fault and it doesn’t say anything about who you are or what you can do. This does not define you. Ask anyone, y/n, they will tell you that you’re the most kind, skilled, and strongest agent we have. They were the weak ones, not you. Do not forget that…Please don’t forget that.”

You simply close your eyes as more tears cascade down your now rosy cheeks. “I just don’t know what I did to deserve this. I keep asking myself why over and over and I just…I can’t.”

“Some people are just evil. The world unfortunately holds some truly vile people who want to steal your light. But you can’t let them win. And if you need any help keeping that light alive then please do not hesitate to come to me or anyone here. Please.” Nats begging at this point and you can’t help but sob more at your incredibly supportive friend. You were so grateful, the shame you felt melting away as you finally had someone who understood and supported you in a way none else ever could.

“I love you, Nat. You really are my best friend.” You sniffle as you admit with a small smile. It felt good to smile for once.

“I love you too, kid. You already know you’re my best friend too,” Nat admits with a matching smile before continuing, “I just have to ask though…you do have a massive super soldier sleeping outside of your room the past few weeks that has been worried sick…are you ready to see him? If not it’s okay and I’ll tell him. We don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

At the mention of bucky your heart squeezed tightly and you swear you almost lose all the air in your lungs. You hadn’t had even processed that yet! How he would react was your biggest concern. Would he hate you? Would he be disgusted? Would he break up with you?

Sensing your distress Nats eyes go wide as she exclaimed, “it’s okay! I’ll tell him no. Y/n I swear it’s okay.”

You shook your head despite the anxiety that had consumed you. “No, no I need to talk to him. It’s okay. Please send him in.”

She nods and replies, “okay , just holler if you change your mind okay?”

You nod and watch as she walks to the door and steps out. A bunch of murmurs before your hear him loudly get up quickly and rush into the doorway of your room.

You stood with your arms around your torso in attempt to hold yourself together as you felt his gaze go over you. Eyes glued to the ground, your breaths were ragged as the silence plagued the air.

“Doll…”Bucky calls out, his voice heavy with emotion but raspy from sleep.

At the sound of his voice you break into a whole new level of sobs. Rushing to your side he reaches out and almost touches your skin, but instantly realizes before yanking them back.

Your brain automatically channels this as him being disgusted by you which fuels your sobs even more. “I’m so sorry,” you cry out, “I’m so fucking sorry. You think I’m revolting.”

What? Bucky thinks to himself. He couldn’t believe those words left your mouth. Tears pooled in his eyes and he let out a ragged breath before saying, “please don’t say that, doll. You have no reason to be sorry. This isn’t your fault. Do you hear me?” He takes a careful step closer to you to bring himself within arms distance between you. “This isn’t your fault. It never has been.”

Your arms wrap tighter around your torso like you’re trying to keep the pieces together and to prevent him from seeing that if you let go, you’d fall to pieces all over the hardwood floor beneath your feet. Your chest is tight as you try to contain your sobs but they continue to rip you apart piece by piece. “They ruined me for you, bucky. I can’t…you won’t want me anymore.” You cry.

His tears are now waterfalls upon his cheeks as his heart is being torn to shreds at your words. “No, no, no… please don’t talk like that. I will never not want you…can I…can I hold you?”

You’re unsure but find yourself nodding. It was difficult at first but as his arms wrapped around you and held you close it felt like glue was being poured within your cracks and your wounds were temporarily numbed.

“You are the most important thing in my life. Compared to you, the missions, the job, heck even the world are nothing. Meaningless to me because if I didnt have you I can promise you I would be the most miserable man in the universe. What happened to you was traumatic and terrible and I am so incredibly sorry I wasn’t able to protect you this time. But that doesn’t make you any less beautiful, any less amazing, any less perfect to me…” leaning back, he put a finger underneath your Chin to raise your eyes to his, “I love you and I will love you forever, through every timeline that exists. It will always be you. So please understand that no matter what happens, you are my person and I’m here for it all. The bad, the good, the ugly. I promise I will be here to help you through this is the ways that I can and give you whatever space you need when you need it.”

His words found home in you as your arms released your middle and inch by inch encircled his before squeezing him tight. No words were spoken for a while as you simply held each other and cried.

A while later you both sat on the floor by your bed side by side in silence. It was comforting and simply something you didn’t know you needed from him until now.

Turning your head to him you say , “I’ve been told we are going to share the same therapist these days.”

Bucky turned his head to look at you and smiles, “I’m glad you’re taking up the offer. I’m proud of you. She might be a pain in the ass for you though.”

You raise your eyebrow, “more than you?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around your shoulder to pull you close. “I’ll take being a pain in your ass any day. My favorite job.”

You shake your head with a small smile. You didn’t know how you were going to heal from this but you know that between Nat, Bucky, and the others…you would get there one day. You weren’t alone.

#marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #avengers imagine #bucky barnes x reader #james bucky barnes #marvel fic #steve rogers imagine #bucky barns imagine #avengers fanfiction #buckynat #bucky imagine #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky masterlist

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burninblood · 3 months

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Usually I do not post my fic and stuff, 'cause they are just plain bad and doomed to remain random, muddy plotted and unfinished forever, but... I wrote this thing and made myself sad, so I wanted to share the pain, sorry

(for a bit of contest, it's a classic post CA:WS fic)

#buckynat #winterwidow #fanfic #fic #james and natalia #angst #my writing translated into engish is even cringier omg!#bucky x natasha

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mylevisdontfitanymore · 3 months

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"Bucky is willing to do whatever it takes to woo his long-time crush Natasha, even going so far as to gain a bunch of weight. But for some reason, Steve seems to be way more affected than Nat…"

New chubby Bucky fic! So far, there's one chapter posted!

#belly kink #text #stuffing #weight gain #bucky barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #fic rec #fanfiction recommendation #chubby bucky #stucky #buckynat #stevebuckynat #naivemind

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cleabellanov · 2 months

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Budapest: we finally get to know what happened!

Well, not oficially, and certainly not in the near future. However, that doesn't stop fans (me) from having movie concepts (this post) for fun and entertainment (it's consuming my time and I fantasize about seeing it in the cinema). But moving on...

Black Widow III: Budapest

Oh and if you're feeling confused, this is preceeded by Black Widow II: Into the winter mist, also on this blog

The intro is similar to the one of the first Black Widow movie: images roll as if we were watching a documentary, not a Marvel movie. Everyone is dead silent. This is rated R, another sign it's going to be dark.

With her mind made up to end the Red Room once and for all, and given the only chance to do so by Clint Barton sparing her life, Natasha plans on blowing up the building Dreykov is in. This can happened only after his daughter, Antonia, steps in. Facing a great moral conflict, Clint doesn't accept at first. However, he understands Natasha will complete her job in Budapest with or without his help, so they end up working together.

The scenes used to show the explosion are the same ones we saw in Black Widow.

On a smoky rooftop, Natasha and Clint catch their breath, with the city sprawling below. They are bloodied and bruised, trying to find an escape. Soon, a Red Room assasin whose identity remains hidden catches up to them. They work together, showcasing their distinct combat styles and growing trust.

They have to hide in air ducts for almost one week, because that's how long it took for the Red Room to lose their trace. Natasha takes this as a great success. She believes Dreykov and his daughter to be dead, even though they aren't.

Finally, weakened and in need for rest, they arrive at a hidden safehouse. They discuss their options. Natasha suggests contacting a former Red Room contact, a woman named Yulia, who might know escape routes. This is a new character we've never seen before, but heard of several times in the previous movie. She is the same woman that helped her and Bucky Barnes remain together for so long, until the separation that occured with her last mission, and the only one that would count: Budapest. She knew there was no way back now. Nothing of this is said out loud to Clint.

Clint expresses reservations, fearing S.H.I.E.L.D. may not accept them after defying orders. He also reveals internal conflict about leaving his loyalty behind. In a moment of carelessness, he also mentions the code name Mockingbird, which Natasha recognises from her former missions. She doesn't know of the connection the woman has with Clint, though.

They ultimately decide to trust Yulia, recognizing their need for help.

Meeting her in a bustling Budapest café, they learn about a covert extraction point arranged by an unknown benefactor. Hesitantly, they agree, aware of the risks. The journey to the extraction point involves tense encounters with Red Room agents and Budapest's criminal underworld. We see a lot of flashbacks from both Clint's and Natasha's past.

Reaching the extraction point, the benefactor is revealed to be Nick Fury, who was observing them from the shadows. He offers Natasha a deal: join S.H.I.E.L.D. and use her skills against threats like the Red Room in exchange for protection and a new identity.

Her choice is disrupt by a Red Room attack. In the ensuing chaos, she confronts a former trainer, reveal ing the Red Room's true reach and sinister objectives. She is given one last choice to stay by their side, as she always had. The one speaking is no other than Melina. Natasha looks for Yelena in the other widows, but she isn't there.

"I never wanted to be your agent" she says to them, in English, altough she was adressed in Russian. "But I can become your worst mistake".

In a burst of action, the fight begins again. Yulia sacrifices herself, offerings the others a chance to escape.

Leaving Budapest on a S.H.I.E.L.D plane, changed by everything that happened, Natasha accept Fury's offer, haunted by ghosts of her past but determined to forge a new path.

The closing scenes show Maria Hill, adressing one intriguing question to Clint and Natasha.

"Have you ever heard about the Avengers initiative?"

#marvel #black widow #movie concept #fanmade #clint barton #hawkeye #natasha romanoff #nick fury #maria hill #budapest #agents of shield #i feel like actually writing a fic about this lmao #fanfiction #mcu #the winter soldier #buckynat

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finnicks · 2 years

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( fic ) paw alps

paw alps

mcu | natasha/bucky + alpine gen, 624 "So, you named your cat Alpine."

—

Natasha teases Bucky about his choice of cat names and finds comfort in the fact he's healing.

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fatedmus3s · 1 year

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Everything Changes

Summary: Natalia and James aren’t on the same page anymore. But James isn’t ready to give up on them just now. Can they mend their little argument or will their relationship shatter before it has begun?

Word Count: 6,233

"See ya soon, angel face!" He hollered to the departing redhead as he waved over his head. The girl giggled as she got on the train and blew him a kiss. James sent her a wink and turned with a boyish grin as the train left the station.

"Angel face?" Came the snort next to him.

He turned his head to his shoulder and raised a challenging eyebrow. "What's so funny about that? Everyone says it."

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," Steve chortled as the two teen boys walked along the empty train platform. "I mean, she ate it up somehow."

"Oh, I see," James said slyly. "You're jealous of my charms again," James teased, turning with a carefree grin to Steve. "Or just Dot."

Steve snorted again. "I thought it was Dorothy? Mixing them up already?"

"No! Dot just sounds better, and she thinks it's swell," James shrugged, feeling no need to defend the redhead's nickname. Instead, he glanced over at Steve as his friend laughed again. But in the gusts of the cold fall wind, the laugh turned into a coughing fit and James looked his friend over while he tried to hide his worry.

"Come on, let's get to the depot, punk," He said and dropped his arm around Steve. It was a protective gesture to hold him steady when his friend inevitably went off balance from the coughs wracking his sickly frame. But both boys could pretend it was just a friend messing with a friend.

"Well," Steve said as most of his coughs subsided and James could take his arm away again. His voice was stern now, with a strange, harshly accented rasp. "It's not like she's coming back."

"What? He stopped walking, withdrawing his arm. He shook his head. “She's coming back," He snapped but felt worried despite his proclamation.

"She always comes back." But, as he looked across the plains of endless snow ahead of him, he suddenly didn't know.

"Even if she actually wanted to..." His friend was fading in the snowy mess quickly and he could feel the chill starting to seep into his pores as the sun disappeared. "She probably can't find her way through all this."

"She does want to, and she's clever," He protested, his eyes straining for the brilliant redhead in a desperate need for warmth as the cold began to wrap around his insides and turn his skin a paler tint. "Natalia's more clever than all of us." He added resolutely.

"Not clever enough," He was told, but the boy from before was all but gone, merely a shadow growing further, his voice a blur.

"You don't really know her if you underestimate her." He argued.

<"But she wasn't even clever enough to stay away from you, Soldat.">

"She's cunning enough to handle it!" He protested with a deep growl, but the eerie silence ate the words. Finally, he looked down, the snow had overtaken him and his hand froze over, gleaming metal weighing him down suddenly.

<“Maybe she is, but you can’t even handle making her happy.”>

“She was happy… I can make her happy…” he told himself. The shadowy figure was stepping back forward again from the white abyss. His green beret stood out against the stormy landscape engulfing them.

<“You think you’re the only one she goes to? Others do much more for her than you.”>

“She wanted me to come with her; it’s just you stopping us,” He snarled. “You can’t control me forever.”

His handler laughed coldly. “You cannot even speak to the woman you love without my say so.”

“Arrgh,” He lunged forward, arms outstretched for his handler's throat, anger falling over him in endless, desperate waves. The handler reached up slowly and snapped his fingers, and James found himself falling backwards, the snow reaching up to strangle him. It dragged him downward, and he just wanted to see her smile at him again. With the warmth in her eyes, he knew it belonged there, instead of the horror everyone else looked at him with.

He hit something, but he was alone now in the storm, and the frost was forming on his skin. He couldn't move anymore and knew there was no real way he could go to her. Everything was gone in the confusing, bitingly cold snow wrapped around him.

He looked determined through the blizzard; it was his only real action to try and get to his clever angel. The one who danced with demons but didn't lose her wings. He knew if he just saw her if she saw him again. Surely he could spot her red hair in the blizzard... if he could just get near her, her warmth would wake him up and he'd be able to move. To get through the tundra around him with her. He could tell her he'd done it, broken free. They could leave together.

Even that single action was deterred as he felt the snow rising on him.

Then, he realized in a panic that it was his own arm pushing him down into the snow. Suddenly the metal took on a life of its own. A star was the only red for him, and it was as cold and lifeless as the snow as he drowned. Drowned in the cold made him stiff and immobile, taking her further away… somewhere she'd rather be.

With a start, he woke up to his chest seizing up. His glazed eyes took in the room, and he swept a hand across his forehead, pulling beads of sweat with it. He sat up hurriedly as he tried to pull any sliver of air into his lungs. The hopeless tundra in his dreams faded too quickly, leaving him with the wish he couldn’t remember the few words he woke with. Or the feeling he was nothing, he was useless… that Natalia would truly never want anything to do with him again.

He shivered as his damp skin met the cold air in the room. There was no silent snow or warmth, just a hard pit in his stomach. Fear… his own fear. It had been too long already… he'd been back in the Red Room one day, that he knew. He'd seen her from afar… she didn't take them out of the way loop that led her past his training room when she was headed for dinner. Did she really not want to see him again? James had just told himself she might need time to process or that she was angry with him about not remembering him but would come to understand it…

It all felt hollow, hollow whims that weren’t based in reality.

James tried to lie back down, to sleep until the sun rose, but instead, he stared at the ceiling miserably. Finally, he closed his eyes, that moment in the hotel running through his mind over and over again. He'd had a debriefing from his mission… whoever it had been, he'd been sent after, he couldn't recall now… but the way her eyes shone horrified at him didn't seem to have faded.

He sort of wished it would. Eventually his stomach was so tied up he couldn’t take lying there anymore. The sun wasn’t up yet, but it would be within the hour… didn’t she usually do her ballet before breakfast? When no one else was there to bother her?

James locked his fingers, trying to determine some reason that would justify him going past her. Just… just to see her, to see how she reacted however long later… to maybe hope she wanted to see him. Or that she was less angry…

Fuck it, he had to. No one was going to see him, anyway. No one paid him any attention until they needed him. He had to see her… James grabbed his clothes from the closet and wound determined through the halls of the Red Room until he was in front of the studio door.

His hand hovered over the doorknob, his heart thudding harshly, suddenly it seemed like a poor idea to face her. It would be easier to wait for her to approach him. Easier to keep the idea she wasn’t as angry or hurt now, to tell himself that could be the truth. The truth… waited behind the door, and James wished he believed the idea she still wanted him enough to go through.

He hissed through his teeth, knowing he'd get caught if he stayed out here. So it was gone and face her, or walk away and hope that… that what? No, it was simply to save himself from reality. He couldn't even sleep. What was the point of that? James grabbed the handle and pushed into the doorway before he could think himself out of it.

He shut the door quickly. It couldn't be worse than the last time she'd looked at him. As he saw her across the room- mid routine- the bright lights bouncing from the mirrored walls, words failed him. He was rooted to the spot he'd come in. James wished he'd left now. It was harder to face her. To expect or want something different when she was already clear she was done with him…

Natalia splashed some water into her face. Strangely enough, she felt a little sick these days. Maybe she had eaten something odd, or her emotions were getting in the way. She had little to no time to adapt to all of this. It was so bizarre to feel like she was alone in this world now. She always did have James… her Winter, but now it wasn’t like this anymore.

She changed into her workout gear. She needed to get some of the building anxiety out of her system. Natalia walked through the empty and quiet halls. The girls were still asleep or waiting to be released from the beds. So, it would give her enough time to strengthen herself and train in ballet. An upside to this would be the odd feeling of leaving her body.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she ran a hand through her hair before securing them in a bun. Natalia started her routine by stretching her limbs. She leaned against the wooden handrail and warmed up her joints and muscles. Then, slowly, Natalia began to dance to an imaginary song. She allowed the melancholic melody to lead her from a first Arabesque into a high jump.

Natalia landed when the door suddenly opened and closed rather quickly. Her heart also dropped to her stomach when she saw a man in the mirror. It was the last person she wanted to see. After all, she had tried to stay out of his way since he returned from the mission.

His presence here was evidence that he hadn’t gotten the memo! What did he expect she would do? Natalia decided it was best to ignore him for now. What was she supposed to say anyways? He had clarified where he stood and what he thought about them… about a potential future. The reminder only made her heart ache even more.

At this moment, she decided it was best to close her eyes and continue to dance. What else was she supposed to do anyway with nowhere to go? Everything in this room was designed to reflect inward. So, it was easier to spot technical errors and adapt to them. There was no adaptation to her mistake, though. She loved this man and he didn’t love her back. So, there was no going back now.

James saw her noticing him, frowned as she closed her eyes and continued her movements. She still didn’t want to see him. She spun, turning and leaping towards one end of the room before spinning slowly back to the other end. He watched her keenly, like a man desperate for water, even though she wanted him to go. He should go. Turn around and leave her be like she’d asked…

He didn’t want to, though. James rarely wanted, but he did want. He tried to talk to her. Although he wanted to take her back in his arms to clear the tension between them, he at least wanted her to look at him again. If not the way she usually did, at least not with horror.

He had a purpose, at least, then.

“Natalia…” He called softly, making himself step further into the room. They both knew she was ignoring him intentionally, but he wouldn’t be dissuaded until they talked again. She leapt past him and then did tighter turns before pausing by the bar to bend at the knees, down, and back up again, very controlled.

How he wished this was a usual time for them. He ached to reach out and steady her waist as Natalia reached up to set her leg on the bar. He’d seen them do such things in practice, wouldn’t she like that? If he partook in some way? Ballet was another thing she was passionate about, yeah… wasn’t she always so determined to continue those lessons as well? He seemed to be recalling that from somewhere.

James doubted she’d appreciate him touching her just now. So instead, he walked to the end of the bar so she’d have a more challenging time ignoring him.

“We should talk, yes?” He asked, reaching out to grip the wooden bar as it bounced up and down under the weight of her leg. James kept it still, as close as he dared to interrupt her. Although his original idea would have felt better.

Natalia tried to debate whether or not it was worth it to listen to him or to even acknowledge his presence. Finally, James made it clear that he wouldn’t simply leave. So, she needed to deal with this, if she liked it or not.

He took the decision from her and Natalia fought the tears threatening to well up in her eyes. Why couldn’t he just leave her alone? She bit on her lower lip so hard it began to bleed. At least the pain was stopping her from actually crying because of him.

“What do you want from me?” She snapped and finally decided to look at him. Her face was schooled, cold and collected. Only her green eyes betrayed her and showed her turmoil and pain.

She put her leg down from the wooden bar and looked at him with a huff. “I don’t even know what we should talk about! You made your point pretty clear. So, excuse me now,” she rolled her eyes and took a deep gulp hoping it would drive the message home.

James stared, both relieved to find she’d at least spoken to him now but with an overwhelming and unfamiliar pressure on his chest. A weight trying to crush his ribcage and making it harder to breathe. He didn’t know how to fix that, so he ignored it. It wasn’t hard when Natalia tried her best to be cold with him. Was it a relief that he felt- that she wasn’t entirely able to?

He took a breath, trying to collect himself. Being this confused wouldn’t help the situation.

“We haven’t made anything clear, Natalia,” James frowned. The facts were easier. He might not have the right words for her, and maybe the truth was too damaging… but if it was, wouldn’t she say that? Natalia had never been one to hold her tongue. So James simply decided whatever happened in the hotel- made nothing clear for either of them.

“Then leave. I don’t need you-“

He frowned harder and tried to push away the pestering thoughts, an attempt to force the hazy dream away. James didn’t dream… but he had last tonight, and it was haunting him still. Shoved down into the snow, knowing he couldn’t stop any of it… did it have to matter? James could make her happy. She didn’t have to need him; she only needed to want him. Suddenly where the strain on his chest was coming from became clear. It was all these thoughts and dreams, and he just needed to put them to rest. There was no reason not to, so he didn’t understand her continued silence on something they could effectively fix.

They had been happy before this, and he could still be now. Even if she knew now he wasn’t… able to do everything, that he’d never leave… he could still make her happy here. She’d decided to stay loyal to the state after all, or she would have left during her mission instead.

“You’re still here,” He stated cautiously, not wanting to bring out her unpredictable anger from last time again. “So am I. Why do we need to change things?” He added and stepped closer to her. If it was about leaving… and he was as unsure of that as anything, then her decision to stay and not escape should have voided her unhappiness about the situation. She was happy before… why did they have to stop seeing each other if she’d decided not to leave the Red Room? He couldn’t go; she knew that now… did that really change anything if she also chose to stay?

Natalia snorted, annoyed when James told her that. Oh, hadn’t she? She basically spelled it out for him! He had made it crystal clear what he wanted from her. They weren’t…weren’t what she wanted him, no, them to be! He was content with the status quo, but couldn’t he see they were so much more? The only thought made her heart ache in this unbearable pain and threatened to tear her up again. But she had decided this man wasn’t worth the tears it would cost her. The apparent weakness she displayed.

“Where else am I supposed to be?” She snapped back and glared at him. What kind of question was that? This miserable place was her home and she couldn’t change that. Not alone… She might see a different home for the two of them, but she wasn’t strong enough. Not with this man staying behind. She couldn’t leave him and that was the actual problem, right?

Natalia furrowed her brows confused, as he stepped closer. Why did they need to change things? Because this wasn’t working! This was making her miserable. They could never have more and it crushed her spirits. He acted like everything was set in fucking stone. If that were true, her whole purpose in life was to seduce, fuck and then kill. That was her purpose, wasn’t it? Just do as she was told and look desirable doing that.

“Because I’m not some kind of toy for anyone to play with-” she snapped back at him and shook her head. He didn‘t understand and never would. Was that so hard for him to see further than the next mission? In the end, they were the same. People decided what to do next, whether it was a kill, a fight, or just retrieving information by sleeping with who they deemed to be the next opponent. “-Life is more than just an order…it can…it can’t be everything there is!”

They were all nothing but a mark in someone’s book. Someone’s grander scheme of things. Someone who didn’t care if they died or not. Here she had thought James would care if she died…Maybe he would even care, but it wouldn’t change a thing for him. He would still just do what they told him to.

Didn’t she remember saying she wanted them to leave? Maybe not… or perhaps she said it in anger and she was back to thinking as usual now. James didn’t know, but he could see her anger hadn’t abated, even though he felt she was sad also. Maybe he was kidding himself and just had no idea what she felt.

He frowned sharply. Of course, Natalia wasn’t. James instantly wanted to protest her words, and the sudden contrast hit him hard. What could he protest? That was her usual role in missions, many lately from Kudrin because she was testing the waters and because of him, too.

He’d never felt such a contradiction before. The sudden but innate knowledge that it was wrong for someone he cared for so much to do anything against her wishes… and the tried and true fact that anything was acceptable to do if it accomplished the mission. Their missions planned for them… that’s what she’d said. James grunted, his flesh hand tightening on the bar as a pain shot through his head. He looked down at where the mirror met the floor. He focused on that to push through the needles shooting down the back of his head.

Maybe- maybe it was acceptable for him to do anything for a mission, but not her? That seemed to ease the headache, but it was true too. James didn’t care what he did… the mission was all that mattered aside from Natalia. Which meant… if she was unhappy here (and of course she was, how many times did she need to try to run or insinuate before he realized?), then she needed to go where she could be happy.

How could he say that?

“You’ve always been better than the rest of us here,” He said quietly, his head stayed down, but he finally moved his eyes up to look at her. To see her reaction, to wonder if she caught what he was implying. It felt so hard just to say that, and he was starting to hate himself for it. Why couldn’t he say what he thought so readily in his mind? That she should leave. She was too good to be a Black Widow, too beautiful and wonderful to be trapped here with him and the rest of them. He couldn’t leave… but she could. Natalia was smart enough to do it, even if she’d have to run for the rest of her life. She’d be free…

He cringed at the sharp jab through his head. James fought it.

“You’re determined enough to make those decisions for yourself, Natalia,” He encouraged through his jaw locking up. He let out a heavy breath, letting go of the bar- and this need in him to convince her to stay with him- and the headache lessened. He could never give her that life she was daydreaming about… that wasn’t what he was… but she could go find it for herself. He wanted her… he wanted to be with her for longer… but he wouldn’t hold on so tightly that it snuffed out the fire he was so awed by.

Natalia snorted and wanted to laugh so badly at what he was saying because what else was she supposed to do? Cry and admit defeat? This man didn’t understand. He never did and by now, she thought he was playing dumb on purpose. Manipulating her like everyone else. But the worst part is that she wanted to be influenced by him if it meant staying close to him forever. He lured her like a moth that flew too close to the light, ready to be consumed by it.

“And what exactly can I get for being better?” She asked him back, her voice sounding sharper than she had wanted it to. What was that good for when she couldn’t get what she wanted or wished for? In the end, she was the same as everyone else. A path chosen to go until she died.

He couldn’t even look at her when he talked. It only made the pain worsen. Her gaze went to his hand, which threatened to splinter the wooden bar needed for ballet practice.

“Why would I want to make those decisions if the reason I want this stays behind?” She asked him, discouraged. Natalia didn’t want out when it wasn’t with James. Why couldn’t he understand that? She saw the future with him and not her alone. She didn’t want…It didn’t matter what she wanted if she simply couldn’t have it.

This wasn’t about stubbornness or determination like James made it out to be. It was about how she saw the bright future for the two of them that it dulled the present and the past. It was so close to her reach yet so far away that she couldn’t properly reach it. Just a few more inches…Just a small jump that James wasn’t willing to take.

Natalia bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying. She didn’t want to lose face in front of him. He clearly didn’t care enough for her so she wouldn’t lose her temper. Not again… She didn’t need to appear like a spoiled child crying for the lollipop it hadn’t gotten.

“Why are you here?” She finally decided to ask and gave him a glance. “You didn’t come to tell me how I should make certain decisions.” Natalia wasn’t even sure what he meant by that.

“Freedom?” He offered, breathing through the pain. Finally, James settled on her simply being angry. Still, he was starkly aware of his inability to keep up with whatever she was really feeling. He just had to assume she hadn’t understood what he was saying, not that he was being clear. He couldn’t. She didn’t understand that before; he wouldn’t bother trying to say it now. Besides, that was too dangerous to tell within the Red Room. Fuck, this was probably really stupid. It was getting on in the morning. James just couldn’t make himself leave like he ought to.

He turned his head to face her, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. What did she mean? Did she mean him? That she wasn’t going to leave without him? Why? It was a terrible sort of thing, the hope that spurred. She must still want him, that he must still be a source of good… but was he? If she were willing to continue down the path they’d made for themselves… but if she was, why the distance now? Likely she didn’t have it figured out either, James sure didn’t. Except she started all this, not him.

It left him without a course of action to take. He had more questions than he’d entered with. Natalia finally looked at him and he felt that weight in his chest eventually loosen. She looked guarded and confused, but there was no fear, no horror. James felt like he could breathe fully for the first time since whenever they’d been in that hotel room and fought. Whatever happened, he didn’t want her to end up hating him. He didn’t want to be a source of pain in her world. There was enough of that around them.

At least that was easy enough to answer. He took a decisive step forward and finally stood next to her. “I couldn’t leave things the way we did,” He told her, frowning sadly. James reached up to cup her cheek, sliding his fingers through strands of her hair.

“I just want to be with you, make you happy, but I can’t seem to,” He whispered, staring at her longingly. James wanted to stay with her forever… but he knew they couldn’t do that. Theirs was a ticking time clock. James could see standing here now that he was a weight holding her down under the frozen lake with him. She’d said as much that she couldn’t keep doing things as they were. But, as much as James felt like he would drown without her around… maybe that was simply what he was meant to do. If she wanted it, Natalia was told for more… she always had been.

He let out an even breath, fighting the struggle in his mind to continue where the thought was taking him. “You’ve always been looking for…” freedom… independence from here… errrgh, he couldn’t say the words he wanted to.

“… something other than this life. Maybe you need to set me behind you, so you can…” So she could leave and gain the freedom she wanted so badly. He reached up and set his metal hand on the opposite side of her face so she’d really listen this time and kept his voice low.

“I can’t fight it like you can,” He didn’t know how else to say it more clearly. The words escaped him… as did the reason he should. He just knew that he was the Winter Soldier and that he needed to complete his missions. If there was no happiness for her around it, then she needed to find it somewhere else. Even if it meant he’d lose her in the process, was it realistic to think he’d have been able to keep her anyway? She was right… others could do more for her. “-And they’re not going to let their Soldier go. Don’t let me destroy your chances, Natalia. I can’t live with that.”

She was the only light he’d ever seen, the only real thing he ever did was make her happy, and he wouldn’t be the reason her light died out. He always thought she was seeing something in him that wasn’t there… but it was there, and he found it thanks to her… and maybe he’d lose it without her, or perhaps he wouldn’t. It didn’t matter because he wanted her to be happy and herself more than he wanted to keep remembering being James. What was the point if she wasn’t comfortable enough to stay near him? There wouldn’t be one.

“You said you need more,” He took a deep breath to fight the searing feeling again; he needed to say this to her. Staring at her, feeling her skin against his, he could fucking say what he wanted to her, dammit. “Go find your everything else, Natalia.”

Fuck, it hurt, but what was pain to him…? Even if this felt different than pain, more like an incapacitation, he could fight it a little, staring at her, touching her again.

“I thought that was already obvious. No one gets freedom in this place. We don’t receive that luxury,”Natalia rolled her eyes at his statement. Who cared about that, and what was it worth if you couldn’t share it with anyone?

He didn’t seem to understand, but she didn’t know how to explain it without saying too much. The last time, it had bitten her in the butt and she had thrown him out. Rightfully so. He broke her heart and she wasn’t even sure what he was trying to do. Mend things for them and make it even worse? Apparently, he didn’t want her around or at least not in the way she longed to be with him.

There it was. The sentence she had feared to hear. Or rather a variation of it. Natalia should be thankful that he was truthful, but it hurt her even more. It just crushed all her heart. “What if I want what’s in front of me?” She asked him tentatively. Would he understand the innuendo that she was saying? He clearly didn’t know that she wanted freedom with him. To get away with him and not on her own.

She confused him; she always seemed to be jumping ahead of something he was unaware of. If she knew they were in the place, they should be. So, why was she unhappy about them not going and doing such a thing? It was contradictory and James couldn’t quite follow where the anger was coming from when she seemed to have accepted their way of life.

“Then I’m here,” He said simply, but it didn’t lift the finality of it all. He was here, he wanted to be with her, was aching to lean in closer and taste her lips again. Except, she’d already said she didn’t want him here, she wanted this fairytale that didn’t exist, couldn’t exist with him. He dropped his metal hand back to his side. “I’ll continue to be here,” He added, running his thumb over her bottom lip despite himself. “But you must do what you need, Natalia.”

Natasha stared at him confused, as he leaned closer and caressed her lip with his thumb. It caused the oh-so-familiar tingle. Subconsciously she wetted her lips, but her heart only sank more. Finally, she stepped away from him and looked a bit wide-eyed at him.

What he was trying to tell her didn’t sink because suddenly, the urge to leave was more significant than to stay. She couldn’t do this again. Not after he had told her they would never be what she wanted… what she actually needed from him. Even if he tried to phrase it differently, it was still the same outcome. She was alone in this. He didn’t like her the way she did.

“I-I have to go,” she suddenly stuttered, unlike herself. She carefully placed the mask to show this wasn’t getting to her and had received apparent cracks. “I have this thing to attend to..” she murmured and began to leave the ballet room with long strides.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob for a moment as if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to leave. But what choice did she have when staying was like rubbing salt in the wound? It just made matters worse. So, she opened the door and walked out to her room. Leaving felt like someone had ripped her heart out and left nothing behind but pain.

On her way out, she didn’t notice Kudrin passing. The older woman had glared after her, but Natalia had other, more severe things to pay attention to. Her eyes were burning, and tears threatened to run down her cheeks again. She cleared her throat and aggressively wiped a tear away. Natalia needed to just make it to the safety of her room.

Her tongue raced across her lips and he nearly pulled her face to his, but she stepped away before he could. The loss of contact didn’t stop his chest from racing or suppress his urge to gather her in his arms and keep her close to him.

James frowned helplessly as she dismissed herself, and he reached out too late to capture her hand. To pull her back… but she was already racing across the room. Away from him… and to pull her back wouldn’t be right. James should have let her go if that was what she needed. But instead, he looked down, briefly closing his eyes to control himself. Watching her leave was too hard…

He looked up when he heard the door click open and dropped back against the mirrored wall as he watched her slip out. His hands tightened around the bar there, creaking under the stress of his grip. Fuck… fuck, he just wanted to follow after her. It was pointless and ridiculous, but it was not helping that it was all he wanted to do.

Instead, he stayed for a moment to collect himself before following through the door himself. Better to give Natalia a head start so no one saw them together, anyway.

<“Soldier.”>

Fuck him… fuck, it had to be her? If she was this close, she had to have seen Natalia too. Of course, there was no point in hoping she did not, so he schooled his features and turned around as she addressed him again.

<“You do not belong in this area.”>

<“I can go wherever I’m needed within the facility.”> For some strange reason, it had taken him a moment to pull the Russian into his mind. How was he supposed to talk his way out of this one? Especially when he felt so off-kilter right now. There was no choice; he had to.

“Leave my Widows alone; they have nothing to do with you once they’ve graduated and I’ll be more than willing to point that out if you push me anymore.”

<“You’re imagining things as always, Lydumila,”> He replied stonily, trying to push past any facts. Like the one where he’d never be in the studio for any other reason than seeking Natalia out. This was sloppy and stupid of him. He could get her hurt acting like this. Maybe it was all for the best… he just couldn’t make himself believe that. Even staring down Kudrin’s suspicious glare.

<“I have tolerated your little trysts, but know I will tolerate it no longer, Soldier. If you aren’t careful, I’ll make sure it isn’t simply my keen gaze noticing,”> She said sharply and slapped the folder she was holding sharply against her hand. He felt a little nauseous; had they been so sloppy that Kudrin was confident enough to voice her suspicions now? To confront him on them…

<”Your riddles are pointless,”> He growled, trying to strive for some neutral annoyance when it was dread he felt instead. <“I have no time for your nonsense.”>

He turned sharply and didn’t stop when she called after him, that he’d received her only warning.

God dammit… he would have to warn Natalia… or maybe that would play into Kudrin’s hand. Whatever that might be… what point was there in warning him unless she really meant it. She had no concern for Natalia or whim to see her protected for any reason, so he had to assume something else was at play. He hoped not… because there would be consequences neither of them could likely imagine if it was all found out…

Leave a like or put it in the comments what you think will happen next or what you loved! It'll be great to hear from you! If you enjoyed the story, feel free to treat me to a coffee on KoFi!

#Buckynat #buckynat fic #bucky x natasha #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky Barnes #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff #winterwidow #winterwidow fic #black widow x winter soldier #black widow #winter soldier #white wolf #romance #marvel fanfiction #marvel fic

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crazyinlovewithbucky · 1 year

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“don’t fill your void with me”

PART TWO.

“Свою пустоту мною не заполняй”

Pairings: Villain!The Winter Solider!Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: this takes place in an alternative universe where Hydra took over the world and the winter soldier killed all Avengers and he became the leader of Hydra and he’s controlling the whole world. He saw you one day and he determined you were his and he made sure of that. and now after you both reunited, he shows you how much he cares for you and admits his feelings at the end.

Part One.

Warnings: smut, lots of fluff, villain bucky turns sweet, some angst, jealousy, dark themes, dark!bucky to soft!bucky, dom bucky, lots of praise + lots of praise in russian, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, speaking in russian.

This was inspired by Яд by Erika Lundmoen

please read my author note it’s very important!

AU/N: hey guys, part two is here. I need to remind you that English is not my first language so excuse any misspelling or mispronunciation of any words or any grammatical mistakes lol. Hope you enjoy this dark fantasy I had of Bucky as I was wondering how he would be still as a villain. Also, this was heavily inspired by ‘yad’ (Яд) by Erika Lundmoen, I love this song so much and it always reminds me of Bucky in his Winter soldier era. Enjoy loves xx

PART ONE

He buried his face in your neck, attacking the sensitive skin again with kisses, especially that sweet spot that gets you all turned on and horny. As if you’re not going to lose your mind already from how horny you are. You could feel his tip pushing slightly on your clit and you were just a moaning mess at this point. “Ready for me, love?” he lifted his head and rested his head on your forehead, locking eyes with you.

“Always, Bucky” you whispered, his whole expression changed. his eyes widened a bit at the sound of his name slipping out of your mouth like honey. He hadn’t heard this name in so long, and you are saying it like this had his heart beating faster, if he wasn’t in love with you before, he believes now he is.

"What did you say?" he sounded out of breath while looking at you with slightly wide eyes, he lifted himself slowly with his hands on each side of your head, pushing himself up.

You panicked a little and your heart started to beat a little faster, "I-I'm sorry. I- Bucky. No, James. I- I meant to say J-James. I'm sorry-y" your voice cracked as you were stumbling on words. you used your elbows to lift yourself up a little as your heart kept racing, not knowing what you should say or do next. Your body just wanted to feel his breath and touch again, and without thinking, you found yourself moving your lips closer to his and looking him deeply in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Jamie" you whispered against his lips.

In the beginning, He felt so strange, not good strange and not bad strange, just strange. These feelings now, you, your words, the names 'Bucky' and 'Jamie' slipping so sweetly from your mouth, and oh, your mouth, this mouth that looks so delicious and sweet to him. These names you called him just now, reminded him of his old life, before Hydra, before being the winter soldier, even before the war. Where everything was just colorful, he was happy, genuinely happy. He felt so happy at this moment, with you underneath him, so close to him, calling him the name he once cherished and loved. If he felt anything for you before like admiration or if these feelings were mainly sexual, now he's certain that he loves you, hell, he'd do anything for you as if he hasn't been doing that already, but now is different, now he wants you to be happy, he wants you with him, always. But suddenly, he was reminded of his awful present, him being the head of Hydra, and being a cold-blooded murderer. He cannot afford to bring you into this life, because he's sure everyone will use you to get him, to hurt him, to destroy him and he promised himself he won't let this happen again.

"It's okay, but don't say it again." his tone was cold, you actually shivered at these harsh words. "Jamie is nicer, I'm okay with it" he kept leaning towards you, which made you lean back and lay again on the bed, underneath him, while he kept nipping and kissing your neck. You can't stop thinking about his reaction when you called him Bucky, he looked shocked but you found something in his expression that indicates happiness, you swear his lips twitched as he was fighting not to smile. Then suddenly, his gaze darkened and his expression went somehow cold, you hated that. You want him to smile, you want him to remember who he was, and you want to save him from this darkness that surrounds him.

He went back to kissing you all over, making you shiver and whimper under his kisses and touches, his mouth and tongue moved to your boobs, he caressed them with his hands then sucked a hickey on your right nipple while pinching and twisting your left one, you kept whimpering and moaning, feeling more wetter.

He lined his cock to your pussy and started to move it and rub it on your clit and between your folds as he was smearing your juices all over his cock. He pushed in slowly, his head now filling you slowly as you whimpered and whined, "Don't tease, please" You whined and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in his neck.

"Told you, I'm taking my time with you, кукла" he whispered in your ear before biting your neck while he pushed the rest of his cock inside you. He was very big, and you always take time to adjust to him. you remembered the first time you both did it and you were murmuring to yourself how it wouldn't fit and he laughed and told you, it will and how you are his "good girl" and will take it like "the good girl you are". You clenched around him as you remembered his praises to you.

"Ahh, Fuck, you're squeezing the life out of me, милый, as if you aren't already so tight for me" he was out of breath as he bottomed out and stilled inside you for a while, making you adjust oh him.

"J-James, please move. I need you. please, Jamie, please." you whined as you needed more friction. He groaned as he started moving out of you, dragging his length in and out of you in slow strokes, grinding his hips slowly into yours. You swear you can feel his tip hitting that deep soft spot inside you that's so close to your cervix. You remembered he hit your cervix more than once during your rough hard sessions when he was so worked up and just wanted to fuck his stress away. You wished quietly, he would give up on this "love-making" attitude and start fucking your brains out. You wanted that and not that love-making bullshit, you don't want to get attached to him more than you already are.

He started to go a little faster, he groaned and moaned your name as he was sucking more hickeys on your neck. He gripped your hips and moved his hips to change the angle, and oh god, this new angle had you crying out loud, even though he was moving slowly and deeply inside you but it felt so good, this was way better than any hard or rough sex you both had.

He sat up while still rutting and fucking you deeply, then he moved his right hand down your body until it reached your left calf, he pulled it up on his waist and you were quick to wrap it around it, his right hand kept caressing and rubbing on your left thigh while his metal left hand moved and opened your right leg more. That gave him more space to move deeper and now his tip was hitting and rubbing your cervix. You screamed at the sensation and arched your back, feeling your orgasm so close.

"тебе так хорошо рядом со мной, куколка. Я никогда не хочу покидать тебя." he groaned loudly. you felt his cock twitching inside you and you knew that his orgasm is approaching too. His metal hand moved to your clit and he started to rub that sensitive bud in slow circular moves. "Cum for me, персик. I want to feel you soaking my cock with your sweet peach juices" he leaned down on you and kissed you sloppily, using his tongue and teeth while trying to catch his breath.

Everything he did and everything you feel is just so hot and too much for you to hold your orgasm any longer. Your orgasm bursted from you like a waterfall, you were crying out loud, back arching, legs shaking, eyes shut closed, nails scratching his back. He didn't stop his movements, fucking you through your intense orgasm while his hands kept rubbing your clit slowly, you were so sensitive, and unconsciously you kept trying to move away and back away from him and his deadly touches. "Come here, милая девушка. where are you going?" he groaned and held your hips so tight and pinning you underneath him on the bed, never stopping his deep overstimulating thrusts.

"T-Too much. Ahh B-Bucky, b-baby too much" You were so far gone to focus on your words, you were just babbling now and words are getting out of your mouth without thinking. He groaned loudly at your words and his cock twitched hard. He kept holding your hips down and his grip tightened.

With one last deep thrust, he came inside you with loud groans. He threw his head back as his hips kept grinding slowly against yours, unable to control his movements anymore, while his cock kept spilling all of his cum inside you, filling you up to the max. And with that feeling alone, him spilling his load in you, his tip rubbing your soft spot, his cum shooting straight and hitting your cervix, your second orgasm hit you like lightning and you couldn't help but scream as you came all over his cock again.

He collapsed on top of you and slowly moved his torso away to not crush you underneath him and give you space to breathe. you both panted loudly, trying to catch your breath after that very intense sex. You blinked slowly, thinking that this is absolutely the best sex you ever had in your life. After you calmed down a bit, you looked at him and found him already staring at you with a smile on his face. You smiled in return and kept locking eyes with him, the words "I love you" are literally on the tip of your tongue, fighting so hard to be let out.

"Come here" he wrapped his arms around your body and sat on his knees, moving you both up until he rested you and your head on the fluffy white pillows. All of that, while his cock is still inside you. Though, you felt very sensitive and overstimulated and each move he made, made you whimper slowly but you didn't mind it. Actually, you loved feeling him inside you, filling you like this. Feeling so connected to him and so close to him than ever. You loved this feeling so much, hoping in the future, he'd let you cockwarm him more.

"You're so beautiful, Мой король" you said while hugging him tightly. You couldn't see it but he blushed and his smile widened. He really is in love with you, he said to himself. The connection you felt with him, he felt it too, he cherished it and wanted to keep it forever. Keep you forever. He just can't ask something like this from you, can't ask you to give up everything and your life to be with him, as if you haven't already done that. His life is dangerous. He is dangerous, he thought. And he would literally kill himself if anything bad happened to you, but not before burning the whole world to the ground, literally.

He moved his head and kissed you passionately, you felt like he was starved for this kiss from how deep and passionate it is as this was his sweet response to you calling him 'beautiful' and 'my king'. You kissed him back, hungrily and needy. You want to live in this moment forever, like this, with him, surrounded by him, on his bed, and him between your arms. But life is just so unfair.

He moved slowly, pulling himself out of you and being careful not to hurt you as you felt so sensitive. When he got out, he threw himself on the bed next to you but not before taking you into his arms and cuddling silently with you. Your head was on his chest while his arms were wrapped around you, hugging you tightly. You both stayed like this for a while. Him taking in your sweet scent and burying his face in your hair, and you were hugging him while running your finger on his arms and chest and making invisible circles on his chest.

"Can I ask you a question?" you broke the silence with a soft question that's almost a whisper, while still running your fingers on his chest.

"Hmmm?" He hummed in your hair and now he's running his right hand on your arm and rubbing it softly.

"Am I the only one?" you sounded sad, which made him furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he lifted his head up and stopped rubbing your arm.

You lifted your head and looked at him too. He could see that upset look on your face. Not knowing what he did wrong. "Am I the only girl you sleep with? The only one you treat like this? Or there are other girls, you treat the same and make them stay in fancy condos and call them whenever you want to fuck your stress away like you do with me?" Your tone was harsh at these last words, you didn't intend to but you just can't help the anger and the sadness you feel, thinking you are not the only one.

"Do you think I just "fuck my stress away" when I am with you?" his face and expression turned serious, he felt heartbroken you'd actually think that.

"I mean... that's what it feels like every time you call out for me. I'm just wondering if you do this with other girls." you looked away, hoping he wouldn't see the tears gathering up in your eyes and you were trying your hardest not to let them fall down.

"What would that matter to you if I do this with other girls or not?" he said harshly, moving his hands away from your body. "If you think that I just "fuck my stress away" with you and use you like a fucking stress ball then I believe it shouldn't matter to you if there are any other girls or not." your heart broke at his words and you feel your tears falling down slowly. You hate how you fucked up this beautiful moment with him. You just had to run your mouth like a loser, you said to yourself.

"B-Buc-"

"I told you don't call me that" his voice got louder a bit and you felt scared at his tone. You were so upset as more tears started to stream down your face.

"I-I'm sorry. I mean James." you sat up on the bed, going for the silk white covers to cover your body, you felt so ashamed and broken by his words and just wanted to leave him now. You pulled the covers over your body, covering yourself, then you faced him again. He's still staring at you with his arms crossed on his chest. You hate how good he looks right now.

"You know, doll, they say curiosity killed the cat." he looked very deep into your eyes, studying your facial expressions and body language. He knows you are longing for him and understands that what you said is out of jealousy. After figuring this out and connecting the dots, he felt absolutely ashamed of his reaction and regretted raising his voice to you like this. You don't deserve that. After that very beautiful moment you both shared, you deserve all happiness and all your concerns to be pushed away. He hated himself at this current moment. Seeing you, looking at him with sad eyes like he just betrayed you, and he felt like he did. He almost showed you the actual monster inside of him. He hated himself.

He sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude or harsh on you like that. I just couldn't understand why would you say such an awful thing like that about yourself." he exclaimed, you breathed a little, and moved closer to him. "come here, please. Can I touch you?" his hands twitched as he moved this closer to you, you nodded while sniffing. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you on his lap, hugged you tightly, and kissed your forehead. You couldn't help but cry more. "Shhh, It's okay. I'm so sorry, принцесса. I didn't mean to upset you like that. I'm really sorry." he rubbed your arms and back softly while pulling his right hand up to wipe your tears. "Please, please, stop crying, baby. Fine, you can call me Bucky. You can call me whatever you like but please don't cry." he kept wiping the tears that keeps falling from your eyes and kissing your cheeks and lips.

"Really? Can I?" you sniffed and smiled shyly. He mirrored your smile immediately.

"Yes, you crybaby, you can." he kissed your lips and you kissed back while smiling. This was enough for you to know he shares the same feelings as you.

"And to answer your question, yes. You are the only one, принцесса. It was always you and will always be you. Only you." He pecked your lips softly, and you held his face in your hands and deepened the kiss. This is everything you need now as he just proved to you, you're the only one for him as he's the only one for you too.

You've always felt bad for him, as he didn't have any friend or anyone to make him happy or enjoy the good things in life and you've always promised yourself, if he just opened that door for you, you'll compensate him for all the sadness and darkness that took over his life. If he just gave you the green light, you'll speed into his life and bring him nothing but love and joy. You do love him that much and want him to always be happy.

"I love you" you murmured as soon as you broke the kiss, you pushed away all of your doubts and concerns and said to yourself that even if he didn't say it back or feel it back, that's okay. You just want him to hear it from you and to feel it. You just want him to see he's loved.

"You d-do?" his voice shaky and he looked at you with slightly wide eyes as he stopped rubbing your back. He stopped breathing for a moment as you said these magical three words that made him feel shocked and confused. How could someone actually love him? He was a cold-blooded monster, he thought.

"Yes, Bucky, I do. I love you so much," you said softly, you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly while kissing his neck, you don't care that his body is stiffened now and his breath is shaky, you are trying to comfort him as you're sure he hadn't heard these 3 words in a very very long time. He needed to hear them. "I love your lips, your arms, your hair, your neck, your eyes, your beautiful beautiful smile," you pulled your head back up and looked at him as your gaze softened at the way he was looking at you with those puppy cute eyes. "I love you, Bucky." you whispered against his lips as you kissed him deeply. You panicked slightly as he didn't kiss back but as you were considering pulling away, his grip tightened around you and he kissed you back harshly and so passionately, you are almost running out of breath.

It took him another moment to pull away and you both panted from how deep the kiss was. "God, Y/N. I love you. I love you so much. I'd literally die for you, моя любовь. I love love love love you." he sounded out of breath as his eyes drifted from your eyes to your lips in a very passionate way. you chuckled sweetly at his words and kept kissing him again. At this moment, all of your concerns and doubts from earlier have been buried deep into the ground and he finally gave you everything you've been wishing and hoping for. You felt like you were in heaven, you swore, you'd never been happier in your life.

For the rest of the night, you both did nothing but make love and sleep in each other's arms. The next morning, you had your best ever morning sex, with him buried deep inside of you and dragging his cock in and out of you like you were just a part of him. You felt so close to him than ever. He canceled all his plans and meetings for the next two days and kept ordering his men to bring you food and anything you want to the bedroom. He also ordered his men to bring you some of your clothes from your apartment in Brooklyn and promised to take you shopping for new clothes and lingerie sets since you're going to stay with him in his mansion. He gave you extra keys to every single house, apartment, and mansion he had that are scattered all over the world and told you they're now your houses too.

He showed you the world and made you his queen. Of course, he still wanted to keep you hidden and your relationship a secret as he explained to you how people could use you or hurt you to get to him and he'd literally murder every single living person if anything bad happened to you. You understood and respected that decision and didn't mind keeping your relationship a secret, actually, that turned you on more, to say the least.

You both, in front of his super soldiers' army and his Hydra superiors and affiliates, were the King and Queen of Hydra. He gave you the power and that title too, even though what you just wanted was him. Only him. You didn't mind nor care about his work or whatever he did, as long as he comes back to you in one piece and sleeps in your arms every night, then the hell with the world. He's your whole world now.

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thewulf · 1 year

Text

At Odds || James "Bucky" Barnes

Request: hii!! Can you write an enemies to lovers with Bucky x fm reader? They hate each other with everything inside of them (you can make up a reason) and they hate being put together on missions because they don’t get along well but they’re fighting skills are similar so they get paired at times. They’re on a mission to infiltrate a hydra base and Bucky doesn’t know the reader is also from hydra and she starts getting flashbacks bc she has just escaped, maybe a couple years ago. While fighting she gets shot in the stomach and is about to pass out so Bucky has to save her and take her to a safe house to attend to her wound. Super angsty pls.

A/N: Timeline is a little wonky (sorry haven’t watched early avengers in so long) so just role with it. Changed a few things around to make it work! Sorry this took so long, hope you guys enjoy!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 5,700+

Naivety. That’s what got you into the forsaken mess that you found yourself in. Sold a bill of goods that you would never receive. They promised you that they were the good guys. They even showed you that they were the good guys. That you would be saving the world. They were supposed to be the people that would save the world. Until you learned they weren’t. Until it was too fucking late. No longer you. You were a freak. A half human. A super soldier. Reduced to a fucking weapon.

They weren’t supposed to make anymore. Bucky was supposed to be the last. But once S.H.I.E.L.D. went down and the mask fell off you learned. You were one of five new weapons for them. They learned from Bucky and ‘corrected their mistakes’, whatever that means. You trained to become an assassin for the worst people in the world. Once the facade was exposed and the bricks started to crack you knew you had to run. To get so far away from them that they’d never find you.

It was difficult faking it while you formulated a plan. You still had to present yourself as a loyal agent that’d do anything they asked. You still had to be their super soldier, or they’d put a bullet right between your eyes. They made sure that you knew this.

Keep reading

It wasn’t easy escaping, but you managed. You decided that it was best to go as unseen as possible, leaving in the middle of the night. Only having to neutralize a few Hydra agents you managed to slip out a side door. You had prepared for that. Taking night missions and scoping out the base when you could. What you weren’t prepared for was the trek you were about to go on.

Not having a clue where you were other than being in some underground bunker in the middle of a mountain range you began your journey. Quickly, you learned that you’d ended up in the Swiss Alps at Hydras headquarters. They’d kept you in the dark for so long it shouldn’t have surprised you this was where you’d ended up. There were spans of time you couldn’t remember and account for, why should it be so surprising that you were moved at some point.

You walked and walked for what seemed like forever. Hiding in empty homes and scavenging your way. You’d landed in a small town just south of Munich deciding this would be the best place to land. Keeping your cover low you quietly learned German trying to integrate yourself in. You thought you were good and safe there until you were approached by S.H.I.E.L.D. only a year into your hiding.

They brought you back to America, at your request, and dug into everything. You drew maps and gave them all the details you could remember. One perk of being a super freak is having a super freak mind. You remembered a whole lot that you hoped could take these evil people down.

They had offered you a spot on The Avengers which you turned down. You had forgotten how fucking nice it was to just be normal for a while. That year long sabbatical really changed the way you thought about life. Spending god knows how long trapped with Hydra really put things into perspective.

You were approached again after another year. This time Nick Fury himself showed up at your front door practically begging you to join the cause. They were planning on infiltrating their headquarters and needed you for it. Apparently, it was life or death. So, you agreed, it’d be good to go home anyway. America was such a distant place for you now that you’d lived a completely different life.

They brought you to compound in upstate New York. Your room was better than any room you’d ever lived in. As you laid down in your bed you realized this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Sure, you’d have to go back to that horrific place but at least you’d have backup with you. You had a chance to change your story. To be the actual hero for once. It didn’t take much convincing on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s part, you needed it. You needed that God damn satisfaction of helping instead of hurting. If your life was cursed, then you needed to do some good. To hopefully fix whatever evil you had brought to the world.

Steve volunteered to walk you around the complex so you wouldn’t get lost. Not that you minded, he was very great to look at. Another awful thing about Hydra? There was no eye candy. Everyone was fucked up. This was a very nice change for you.

“How’d you guys find me?” You asked breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you. He had shown you the kitchen and you were making your way through some hallways before he decided to answer you.

“Bruce did. Don’t ask me how but he’s got some radiation detector thing that does whatever it does.”

You didn’t try and stop the laugh the bubbled up, “Not really the sciency type? Whose Bruce?”

He shook his head, “Not at all.” He smiled continuing to lead you down a few more hallways, “We’ll stop by his lab to say hello. The Hulk. Big green guy.”

“The Hulk?” Tilting your head, you looked up at him, “He’s here? This place is so damn cool.” You’d read up on The Avengers. Hell, you were even slated to take one of them out before you managed to escape. The Hawkeye or some shit.

“Yeah. He’s usually here. Tony comes and goes, I usually stay here, Nat and Clint are never here unless its for a mission. You might even get to meet Thor at some point.”

“He’s real? No fucking way.” Eyes bugging you had a hard time believing him. All of the information Hydra wanted to feed you never included what was happening in the real world. You were immersed in a world of total propaganda the second you signed your name of the dotted line. Your sole purpose in this world, to Hydra, was to be their weapon. A weapon didn’t need to know what was going on outside. Having that weapon actually know what was going on might make that weapon flip. And that’s exactly what you did.

You broke through the hellish layers of propaganda one day when you were ordered to execute a little girl. An innocent little girl who happened to be the child of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that Hydra was trying to break. He apparently held the key to something they needed. You made it all the way to the site and couldn’t do it. She was six years old playing with one of her dolls. You watched as she had a tea party with all her stuffed animals. Sitting there watching her through the windows of the quaint little house in the countryside. You watched as she ran out to go play with her brother. Her mom seemingly preoccupied with making dinner that night.

You were once that little girl. You once had a family just like that. You could have a life just like that but here you were sitting at a window watching and observing. That’s all it took. Dropping your comms, you rushed to the front door knocking rapidly. The mom answered, horrified when she realized you weren’t one of the good guys. The sheer look of absolute terror coming from her broke you. It broke your training. Your propagandized mind was slipping. You told her everything. That they needed to stage their daughter’s death. That if they didn’t you would have to come back and do the job for real next time.

She listened. God bless her soul. She listened and faked her daughter’s death. Hydra didn’t know. S.H.I.E.L.D. sure as hell knew. That was the day everything changed for you. The day you knew you needed to escape. The day you knew you had to put on the greatest show you could. You were going to be the most perfect super soldier until you figured out how in the hell to get out. And that’s exactly what you did. They didn’t suspect a damn thing. Oh, you would pay big money to see the look on their faces that morning you went missing.

The two of you talked to Bruce for a while before he continued the tour of the compound. Eventually you ended in the living room area where you ran into someone you hadn’t seen before. Someone who seemed terribly familiar.

“Bucky.” Steve nodded to the man dressed in all black.

“What’s she doing here?” Bucky pulled Steve off to the side leaving you on your own momentarily.

Of course, you could hear everything. Your stupid hearing being incredible and everything. You sat back into the couch listening in. Might as well use this ‘gift’ as an advantage.

“We told you. She’s here to help. She just got out and it’s been years since you’ve been there…”

Bucky seemingly interrupted Steve as his voice cut in, “I don’t fucking need help. You know it. Fury knows it. This whole God damn team knows it.” He sounded pissed. Was he Hydra too? He sounded like it.

“Stop being so stubborn Bucky! You haven’t been there in years. Things change.”

“She can’t be trusted.”

Frowning you understood why he didn’t trust you. He was definitely Hydra. The famous super solider The Avengers have been hiding. It was hard to trust once you left that place. They broke you down so far you weren’t sure if you could ever build that feeling back up.

“Why? She left there just like you did.” Steve challenged.

“She just can’t!” He yelled making you jump right out of your seat, out of your composed demeanor. Fuck Hydra. Any loud noise and you were ready fight. Fight or flight was engrained into you.

Slowly you made your way back over to them only to earn a nasty glance from the long-haired man. Shooting Steve one last scowl he made sure to hit your shoulder when he left the room.

“Ouch.” You glared at the back of the man that was walking away, “What’s his fucking problem?” Crossing your hands over your chest you turned back towards Steve.

“That’s just Bucky.” Steve gave you a small half formed smile. Pursing your lips, you eyed him with a harsher look than you really should’ve, not really believing the words that came out of his mouth. Even if that was just Bucky it seemed personal.

“And you just deal with that?”

Steve sighed taking a seat at a bar stool, “He’s difficult with new people?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?”

He sighed not sure how to respond. Admittedly Steve wasn’t good at this people stuff. He was good at the fighting and saving people stuff. Not the trying to keep everybody on good terms in the team kind of guy. But he had to try. He knew Bucky needed you on the mission, “He’s just not a people person.”

“Wow,” You laughed harshly, not finding the situation funny in the slightest, “He’s a great person to have on a team then!”

Steve really didn’t know how to respond now. You walked into this place with the utmost confidence. Challenging not only him but everybody in this building. You were confident but not arrogant. Questioning the status quo that Bucky needed to latch onto. He wasn’t good with change. He was good with constants. And you were a change. A big change.

“He’s difficult. You’ll get used to him.” Steve nodded awkwardly, almost as if he wasn’t believing what he was saying.

And boy was that the understatement of the year. Bucky despised you. Not even sure what you did to get him so worked up all the time you just opted on ignoring the dude. It was easier to just pretend he wasn’t there than to try and get him to talk to you. Every single interaction with the man got harder and harder. You tried talking with Bruce and Natasha about it, but they were also at a loss. Even Steve couldn’t seem to figure it out.

Days turned to weeks turned to months and you turned to hate him to. If you couldn’t get a reason from him then you sure as shit didn’t need one then either. Every time the two of you were in the same room some stupid fucking fight had to occur. Sometimes he got the better of you and sometimes you got the better of him. Two super soldiers that hated each other for no apparent reason.

You went on missions together and learned that you fought nearly identically. Not a huge shock considering you were trained by the same supposed masterminds. Often being paired up because it worked the two of you just seemed to click on the battlefield, always coming up with a win. Holy hell did you two hate it though. Every second flying into the mission was met with complaining and nasty looks. Every moment flying home was met with criticisms and complaints about how you fought.

It was exhausting. He was pushing you further than fucking Hydra had just by his measly ass words. You wish you could let them roll off you like you had prior, but you couldn’t. Because of course you couldn’t. You took every fucking word to heart. Every criticism made you train harder. Every complaint made you fight with a little more force.

It was never enough. It would never be enough, and you had to accept it.

Then the day came for the big one. The big mission. The back ‘home’ mission. The mission you knew you were risking your life for. But hey, that’s why you came. Too late to back down now. You, Bucky, Cap and Nat were on the mission. You and Bucky would be the ones infiltrating with Nat and Cap ready for backup and ground cover.

You were ready for this. You’d trained for this.

You’d gotten in flawlessly. You just had to get to the damn office and go. Always easier said than done though.

“Y/N!” You heard the one voice you were praying you weren’t going to hear. The motherfucker that tortured and brainwashed you for all those years. Your bonafide handler if you will.

Instead of turning you pushed on behind Bucky, “Levi.” You muttered to Bucky. Get in, shoot the target, grab the goods, and go. It should’ve been simple if you were in the right headspace. But you weren’t, not just having a blowout with Bucky twenty minutes before. You’d argued the best way in because the two of you could never agree. Not until it was life or death.

“Y/N stop!” You shouldn’t have paused. That was your first mistake. Enough time for him to aim a bullet right at your hip. Luckily you were in stride, so it didn’t embed itself, just grazing your side deeply. You yelped out in pain. He knew where to hit. Of course, he had the right guns to get through your shield. You knew it you just refused to believe it. Push on, keep running.

Bucky only grabbed your hand when he saw your speed slowing. He knew better than to leave a soldier behind. Even if it was you.

“Come on, keep up!” He grunted pulling you along faster.

You face crinkled up in pain as you tried to keep up. Each step hurting slightly more than the last, “Sorry, Bucky. ‘M trying.” You could barely get out. Trying to focus on your breathing rather than the pain you hadn’t realized he nearly stopped to a halt. Hands grabbing your shoulders he shoved you behind him as he pulled out his own gun.

With movements faster than even you could comprehend he fired a shot to his head before he even realized what was happening.

“Holy shit.” You muttered watching the man that had tortured you for so long drop to ground like a bag of bricks.

“You’re welcome.” He smirked looking all too proud of himself.

You huffed, “Thanks, I guess?”

“Don’t get used to it. Let’s go. We’ve made a scene.” He dramatically rolled his eyes before continuing on running, just not as fast this time.

“Fuck.” You groaned trying to keep his pace but failing miserably. The wound starting to hurt more and more with each passing minute. The adrenaline was fading faster than you would’ve hoped.

“Gotta keep up now, we’re almost there.” He slowed down to a walk to keep pace with you. That was embarrassing.

You stopped when you couldn’t take it any longer, “I can’t, sorry. My side. It’s hurting. You go and I’ll keep cover or something. I’m useless right now.” You admitted as you moved you bloody hand away from your side.

“Ouch.” He raised an eyebrow in surprise. It must’ve been pretty bad if you got that reaction out of Bucky, “Right through the armor.”

You sighed, “Some special bullet. They were working on it when I was escaping. I’m sure they’ve perfected it by now. Lucky it hit my side, or it’d be right through me.” Laughing nervously, you observed a new reaction from him, actual empathy? He looked concerned as he walked around you, making sure you weren’t hurt.

“Who was that anyway?”

You shrugged, “They called him Levi. Not sure. He was my scientist and handler if you know what I mean.”

He nodded, “Sure. I had one myself.”

You sighed placing pressure back on the still seeping wound, “Guess they don’t change. Even eighty years later.” You leaned back on the wall, “Go. Finish the mission.”

“Yeah, one problem though. Can’t leave you. Boss’s orders.” He tapped his microphone in his ear before making his way over to you.

“What?” You could barely get out before he picked you right up, “What are you doing Bucky?” You didn’t want to admit just how fucking good his embrace felt. Not now especially. Not in the middle of the damn hydra base. Not when you knew he fucking despised you.

“Boss said nobody left behind. Off we go.” He ran with you easily. You knew you could likely do the same. Being super soldiers and all.

“Who?” You challenged him. Why? You didn’t really know. Maybe it was your defensiveness kicking in. More so it was that you were confused as to why he was helping. You were sure he was going to sprint right away once you gave him the go ahead.

“Cap.”

Thinking for a moment you realized that it was plausible. Steve had been very protective over you from the get-go, “Guess I’ll have to thank Cap later then.”

“Sure.” Bucky refused to look at you and kept his eyes ahead. Bucky knew these hallways just as well as you did. You were right after all, not much had changed in the eighty or so year timespan between the two of your stays.

Realizing his one worded answers were a tactic you quieted down. He wasn’t a terribly chatty guy to begin with. Then add you to the mix? He couldn’t stand it. What was his reasoning for disliking you so? He knew deep down you were fine. You escaped the Hydra hell hole just like he did. But he knew how fucked up you likely were. Even if you were just a quarter as fucked up as he was you were in a bad state. Hydra had no limits. They’d kill for far less.

He didn’t trust you. He didn’t trust himself so how in the hell could he trust you? It was easier this way. Keep the Hydra girl far, far away. What’s the easiest way to do that? Be the biggest dickhead he could be. It was successful. He even had his best friend stumped. He wouldn’t budge. Couldn’t budge. It was best for both of you.

Then you had to go and get yourself shot. He’d never leave you behind. Even if he didn’t trust you fully, he couldn’t let a member of his team stay back when he was more than capable of helping.

He set you down in the office chair once he made it to the main office where all the documents were kept, “Keep watch, alright?”

“Yes sir.” Giving him a more than sarcastic salute you nodded him to look for the files needed.

He turned concentrating on finding what he needed. You heard footsteps from down the hall. You didn’t think much of it as you started to feel a little funny. The sound of those footsteps marching in such a manner brining you right back to when you were a prisoner in their system only two years ago. The sights, smells and now sounds flashing you back to those horrific days.

You heard the steps stop at the door. You fucked up. You lost concentration. You were supposed to be keeping guard and you couldn’t even do that. Fuck, the footsteps should have started up again, but they didn’t. They stopped right in front of the door.

“Bucky!” You yelled getting his attention, your cover was blown anyway. It didn’t matter, “Door. 2 people.”

He nodded grabbing his gun a little too late. As did you. Hearing a faint, “It’s her.” Before a bullet ripped right through your lower half. You immediately let out a pained cry as the bullet hit you straight in the abdomen. Fuck. How unlucky could you be?

Quickly, Bucky shot them both a second too late. Realizing you were the target he rushed over to you. Your eyes felt far too heavy to know you probably weren’t making it out of this one. Not without help at least.

“Oh, no, no, no, no.” Bucky’s eyes widened seeing the blood drip down you side, staining your suit a nasty crimson color. Slumping back into the chair you were already sitting in. You closed your eyes before opening them very slowly.

“Damn.” Looking down you covered your stomach as best as you could, but this was a whole lot of blood. You’d never seen yourself this bloody before. The worst was the smell of it. The nasty metallic stench was a smell you could certainly live without. It smelled even worse knowing it was your own fucking blood.

He ripped off a pant leg quicky tying it around your waist as quick as he could, making sure the bulk of it sinched your abdomen in, “Good enough.” He grumbled before lifting you bridal style, “I need you to stay with me now, Y/N. Eyes on me now.”

“Okay.” You spoke as best as you could.

Your eyes felt too heavy though. It was getting hard to keep them open. You knew this meant you lost too much blood. You’d only felt this a few times prior, each time just escaping by the skin of your teeth. This seemed different though, a little more severe.

“Shit, Y/N. You’ve gotta keep your eyes open.” You felt like he was climbing now. Was he really about to get you out of here safely?

“’M trying.” You mumbled.

What came out of Bucky’s mouth shocked you right back into the present, “And you’re doing so good. But I need to see them open right now yeah?” Was Bucky, of all people, praising you? You hated to admit it, but it felt too damn good.

Opening them just a bit more you saw Bucky’s now anxiety riddled face, “Thank you.” He sighed while squeezing you softly, “Just a little bit further. There’s a house on the mountain side with some suppliers. I hid there not too long ago when we were scoping the place out.”

“Sure.” You coughed, immediately regretting the reaction. You let out a guttural cry feeling the pain ripple from your abdomen all across your body.

“Almost there. Just a little longer.” You saw him tap his comm’s continuously trying to get ahold of anybody.

“Cap, oh thank God.” He sped up seeing your eyes begin to shut again softly, “She’s shot… yeah… no, it’s not good. I’m heading to the bunker now. We need backup right away… Yes, got the documents. Copy.”

He looked relieved when he saw the house on the horizon only to be shattered when he saw your eyes closed completely, “Y/N! Wake up!”

You faintly heard him but couldn’t seem to care. It was too fucking hard to open your eyes, “Come on Y/N!” He tried shaking you gently once he got to the side door.

You hummed trying to let him know you heard him.

“Fuck.” He kicked the door in not really giving a damn about it now. He laid you down on the couch checking your back to see if there was an exit wound. He was a little relieved to know there wasn’t one, which meant the bullet was in you still. That sucked for you later but for now it meant he could get you back into a survivable state.

“This is going to hurt.” Bucky frowned pulling the stitch kit out of the bathroom along with the first aid kit. Bucky opted for the stapler as it was quicker and slightly less painful than stitching you back up without any numbing.

He went ahead without your acknowledgement. Your eyes shot open as the first staple began to close the wound. Letting out a quiet whimper you knew you needed to stay as still as possible for him but damn, did that hurt

“I’m so sorry. Here squeeze my leg. But don’t break it.” He shuffled around so his leg was near a hand offering you something to grasp onto. He knew just how painful this was. He’d been through it a few times before. Just like you had. It didn’t make it hurt any less though.

“Shit.” You let out a soft cry as he placed the second staple through your skin.

“I know. Fuck. Only a few more.” His hands trembled as your blood coated his hands. He paused only to wipe it clean so he could see. He didn’t want to put you through any more pain than necessary.

You nodded blinking back tears. For whatever reason this was worse than the Hydra torture. This felt like you were being cared for by somebody who actually did care. Not just an asset. Even if he hated you at least he had an emotion towards you. He noticed you.

You groaned when you felt another staple bring your skin back together.

“Two more.” He sighed wiping away the seeping blood that didn’t want to stop.

“Go fast.” You bit your teeth together grabbing onto his leg. He nodded hitting the last two back-to-back.

You sighed knowing the worst of it was over. Placing a pack of gauze down he pressed down firmly before wrapping and bandaging you up, “How do you feel?” He asked nervously not sure what to expect from you. Things were going to get awkward now. He just knew it. He couldn’t go back to treating you the way he had been before. Not after this trip. You’d gotten too close. Shared a little bit too much to act so cold.

“Better.” You gave him a soft nod thankful that it was closed up. But you were still feeling it. You still had a wound, a bullet lodged in you.

“Cap and Nat will be here soon.” He broke you out of your thoughts.

You closed your eyes focusing on breathing. It hurt, really fucking bad. But at least you weren’t bleeding anymore. Bucky had taken care of that for you.

“Wake me when they get here.” Your eyes felt too heavy now. The adrenaline all but worn off all you wanted to do was sleep.

He didn’t like that answer. “Y/N.” He shook your shoulder forcing you to open your eyes before he would stop, “Just keep them open for a little longer. Once you’re hooked up to a monitor then you can go to sleep. Okay?”

“I’m just... so tired.” You sighed, trying your best to stay earth side.

“I know.” He paused before speaking to Cap again, “We’ll be right out.”

He didn’t wait to explain anything before he picked you right back up hauling you out to the jet, “Get Banner on the line!” Bucky shouted before gently setting you on the first aid gurney they had stashed for injuries. It was used more often than the team wanted to admit.

“Nat’s on the phone with him now. What happened Bucky? I told you…” Steve gave him a frustrated look. A look that let Bucky know he was angry.

“You don’t think I fucking know?” He growled feeling terrible about what happened, “It happened too fast. They had these special fucking bullets, Steve. I stapled her up. Fuck. She lost so much blood.” He slammed his fist down on a table next to you making you jump slightly. Bucky mumbled some half-baked apologies before walking away. Running his hands through his hard trying his hardest not to rip some of it out.

He should’ve been quicker. He knew you were injured and weren’t on your best game. He had no excuse. You even gave him a heads up and he still failed to protect you. He felt like he was the worst. Always seemingly failing.

“She’s fine. She’ll make a full recovery. Bruce is sure of it. He’s reading her vitals right now and he’s saying she’s right where she should be. You did exactly what you needed to..” Nat placed a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder. She knew he was tearing himself up over this.

“Hey, you heard Nat, right?” Steve asked. He didn’t like the way Bucky didn’t seem to respond, “What’s going on? You don’t even like her?”

Letting out a frustrated sigh he turned to face Steve, “I don’t trust her. It’s not that I don’t like her. And then she was so fucking helpless. I haven’t seen her like that. Not in the months of training we had back and forth. I thought she was going to die.” Bucky admitted to his best friend.

“Well she didn’t and she’s not. Let’s get her home first and we’ll talk later.”

Bucky nodded, too afraid to go back over to you he took a seat at the front of the jet. Nat and Steve were right there for you anyway. It’s not like you wanted to see him away, or so he thought.

A soft knock at the door drew your eyes away from the book you were reading. The only thing that seemed to pass the time as you waited for Bruce to let you go back to your room. So far, you’ve been confined to the damn hospital wing for three days, three very long days.

“You came?” You asked a little confused by your guest.

Bucky hummed letting himself in, “How are you?” He stood at the foot of your bed not sure what to do with himself.

“I’m good. Thanks for saving my life and all.” Smiling at him for the first time ever you didn’t mind it. You didn’t mind not yelling at him. Actually, kind of enjoying it.

“Yeah sure. Need somebody to argue with.” He tried to joke only to be met with a frown by you.

You sighed, “Can we not? For once? Please. I’m so tired.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry. I was joking.” He looked away pretending to be captured by the painting on the wall.

“Yeah.” You nodded not sure what to say. How awkward was this. You’ve known each other for months but didn’t know each other at all. All you’ve done was argue. Fight. Yell and scream. But now? This was weird.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky leaned back onto the wall, “Really. I would understand if you don’t want a thing to do with me Y/N. Really. I’m..”

You stopped him by placing a hand up, “It’s okay. I wouldn’t trust me either.” You breathed out, “Just can we not fight? It’s exhausting.”

He nodded, “Sure, yeah.”

“Okay, good.” You let out the breath you’ve been holding for a while. It felt as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Sure, it was awkward, but damn did it feel good to talk to him for once.

“You sure you’re, okay?” Bucky asked again. He was at a loss for words, but he decided to try. Maybe he could find some commonality with you. You’d been through the same shit after all. He didn’t blame you if you wanted him to go far away though, he treated you so terribly.

You nodded sincerely, “I’m great. Bruce just won’t let me go.” You watched his face full of skepticism, “Really, I’m good. Surgery went well and I’ve been out and about all morning. Bruce made me rest.”

Bucky smiled for the first time in a while. Enjoying hearing your explanation even if he didn’t fully believe you, “I’ll tell you what. Once Bruce gives you the okay… since you’re so fine. Me and you spar in the weight room?”

You laughed. It didn’t surprise you. It seemed like him. His way of apologizing to you as best he could, “Sure thing James.”

“What? How’d you know?” He thought back to anytime anybody had called him that name he so rarely heard.

Grinning you couldn’t stop the sudden smile that graced your face, “Rodgers.”

“Bastard.” Both of you joined in laughter for the first but definitely not last time.

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