I had some time these last two days and so it was time for me to begin with the Buddie fic recs. This is the first one, more to come in the future (don't know when, honestly, I usually organize my fics folder when I have time/when I feel like doing it). Enjoy 💚
PS: I usually tag the authors, but sometimes I forget to do it, I'm sorry but I'm a bit chaotic.
Don’t Want no Other Shade of Blue But You [Words: 11050] by @fangkinkdiaz
This is an entire series, complete, and I suggest to read it all because it’s perfect.
“You can’t go see your son like this.”
That gives Buck pause. “He’s not—he’s not my son.”
“Isn’t he, though?” she says.
And part of Buck wants to argue, but a bigger part of him thinks, isn’t he, though? Not by blood, sure, or legally, but in all the ways that matter, Christopher is as good as his son.
Hungry For Your Love [Words: 1847] by @evcndiaz
I'm so in love with this one. It makes me laugh every single time I read it. Also the characters are so perfectly portraited it's like reading the script of an episode.
prompt: "who’s gonna write a fanfic where chris is not cooperating with buck and eddie accidentally says “listen to your dad?" or; breadsticks are a metaphor for love and boning
Habits [Words: 4926]
I read this over and over again. I loved it so much it became a comfort fic for me.
Buck's not sure what's going on when Eddie starts kissing him on the head after a rough call, only now it's A Thing, and it's a thing Buck would very much like to continue if he knew what it meant.
(or another Buddie fic where everyone knows except Buck.)
Fire on Fire [Words: 6668]
Absolutely one of my favourites. It's very well written.
"You’re sleeping with him.”
“I’m not—” Eddie rolls his eyes and corrects himself halfway through. “I’m not sleeping with him like that, okay?”
Sophia looks at him for a long moment as her gaze turns from teasing to thoughtful.
“But you want to be. Right?”
[Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.]
To Build a Home we deconstruct our rituals [Words: 44248]
I really enjoyed this fic. More like a journey. I loved the way Eddie has been portraited.
After the shooting, Eddie realizes he needs to put some things in place. Like who will get his assets if he dies. Who will speak for him if he ends up in a coma. What might happen if his family contests Buck's guardianship. Luckily, he's got a simple easy-peasy solution that won't result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak:
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Buddie Fic Rec
I´ve been reading lots of fanfics so here are some of my faves right now, in no particular order.
I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania
i bloom just for you by eddiesdiaz
The Castle Operation by on_mars
Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania
17 Steps to Inevitability by allyasavedtheday
Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by extasiswings/letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
(i could be) here and now by emfreebs
(Love Is) The Second Oldest Profession by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels
What's love got to do with it? by ColorMeParanoid
ten, twenty, fifty by mdnghtmmblngs
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general buddie fics
fics that don't have a particular spot.
-> main buddie fic masterlist
short and simple (under 5k)
don't unfold me (word count: 4,260): eddie realisations plus jealous!eddie.
the whopper fic (word count: 1,577): drunk!eddie and lena with one very sober buck!
inconexo (word count: 4,106): eddie and his loved ones celebrate his recovery, but where's buck?
got a secret, can you keep it (word count: 2,716): buck and eddie both separately confess their feelings to chimney and ask him to keep their secret.
so you sleep fine (word count: 1,518): the one where buck falls asleep on the way home and eddie is so soft about it.
accidental fatherhood (word count: 4,711): buck grappling with the idea of being a father to six children should anything ever happen to his whole team.
nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy (word count: 4,611): eddie centric. or eddie recovers, one messy step at a time.
distance (word count: 1,789): eddie keeps his eyes on everything in the room except buck. kinda unrequited.
fade to black (word count: 1,403): buck and eddie find themselves trapped in an elevator during a city wide blackout.
like a heartbeat racing (word count: 3,600): fake wedding planning.
i will carry you (word count: 4,193): after the events of the well, buck and eddie deal with the emotional toll
i’ve built my life around you (word count: 4,235): buck builds a home. many people have questions.
pin all of my hopes to your handlebars (word count: 4,061): the top of the fire truck is as good of a place as any, really.
falling but already fallen (word count: 4,553): the only thought on his mind was eddie.
to wash away the day (word count: 4,944): after the tsunami, buck goes home with eddie and chris.
does your firehouse know? (word count: 4,254): after chimney accidentally discovers buck and eddie are together, he’s asked to keep it a secret.
when you come home, i’d lift you up (word count: 1,528): eddie trapped in an elevator manifestation.
a splash of the sun (word count: 807): sick!buck names a cactus after eddie.
i could spend my life in this sweet surrender (word count: 1,310): post 4x14, sharing beds
the magic of the moment on a glory night (word count: 1,816): buck get stuck in a tree.
dance with me (i want to be your partner) [word count: 2,217]: eddie’s kitchen was bathed in golden light from the sun starting it’s slow descent outside. there was a slow music coming from the living room, from a playlist buck set up. and there was flour everywhere.
you can exhale (word count: 3,497): eddie comes out twice in one week: once to his grandmother, and once to his best friend.
without fear (word count: 1,674): light has come, and buck wants to face his fears.
four a.m. (word count: 2,953): buck follows the rain, so eddie follows buck, wherever he may lead.
pancakes for dinner (word count: 2,675): christopher comes down with a cold and eddie is too preoccupied being the best dad to get any sleep. luckily, they have buck.
caught up in the crowds (up in the clouds) [word count: 1,748]: he knows better than to drop this.
buried this heart and years went on by (word count: 1,833): it really would be just his luck.
i meant that, too (word count: 2,399): eddie can’t even be surprised that the first time he tells buck he loves him is while his best friend is fever sweating through tiger face paint and throwing up in the bathroom at christopher’s school.
hold onto to me as we go (word count: 2,388): eddie just wishes he could make buck see that he doesn’t have to prove he’s useful to be deserving of love.
when buddie learns chris has no filter (word count: 1,759): at a grant-nash get-together maddie asks where buck has been that morning, and chris enlightens them.
press your love into my skin (word count: 2,374): buck and eddie decide to keep their relationship a secret, but someone getting hurt may change that.
when (not just) the universe screams (word count: 1,748): a hard day gets even more difficult. then it gets hell of a lot better.
seamless shifts (word count: 4,236): eddie let’s a confession slip while stuck in the dregs of sleep, and buck panics about it.
like home (word count: 3,328): it starts with one shirt.
color (within the lines) [word count: 2,723]: buck and chris get up to no good.
count on me (word count: 4,385): eddie falls sick and christopher calls in reinforcements.
wide awake (better not fuck this up) [word count: 2,995]: “eddie. are we gonna talk about the fact that you kissed me, or are we still ignoring that?”
in a language you can understand (word count: 1,919): he hides them in buck’s work bag the next day.
relationship advice from complete strangers online (word count: 3,964): buck makes a reddit account.
habits (word count: 4,926): platonic forehead kisses. everyone knows but buck.
on sleep and unspoken things (word count: 2,174): a snapshot into the gentle intimacy of sleep and shared trauma.
i've never had a home (until you came around) [word count: 7,316]: love these "unrequited but not actually unrequited they are just dumb" fics.
17 steps to inevitability (word count: 12,024): eddie falling in love with buck because it's inevitable.
i've been down on my knees (praying things i don't believe) [word count: 10,195]: post 4x13 coda, took a split second for eddie's life to change and six days for his recovery to begin.
i wish it was mine (word count: 10,820): angst with a happy ending
my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand (word count: 12,300): eddie is shot and buck's whole world collapses around him.
hold me up (word count: 6,981): ana almost accidentally kills buck!
don't want no other shade of blue but you (word count: 11,050): buck is most definitely chris' dad
burn a bridge, learn how to swim (word count: 13,335): some unexpected making out, some pining, an existential crisis and plenty of unhelpful advice.
we were like a time-bomb set into motion (word count: 6,905): watch eddie and buck's platonic friendship catch fire!
we knew that we were destined to explode (word count: 6,906): part two of above. 118 made a bet. buck and eddie prank them.
to find solid ground (word count: 6,718): time heals. at least that’s what they say. so that’s what buck repeats to himself.
signs from the universe, and all that (word count: 8,911): they get trapped in an elevator. what’s the worst that could happen?
some day i’ll fall into you (word count: 13,467): a look at how eddie deals with his recovery.
the heartbeat so loud, we could not ignore (word count: 13,882): post 4x06/4x07
temporary love (word count: 5,073): pretending, teasing, and realizations.
keep my brittle heart warm (give me peace) [word count: 6,073]: a baby girl is left at the station in the middle of winter, and everything changes. / die for you in secret (word count: 8,046): companion fic to the previous
one single thread of gold (tied me to you) [word count: 5,196]: spiraling over the story carla reads to chris and eddie.
eddie diaz and the cat-astrophe at the 118 (word count: 5,195): the firefam adopts a mascot and eddie has a minor crisis about it.
are we destined to burn or will we last the night? (word count: 11,046): bobby arrives at the hospital just after eddie’s been shot, and tries to deal with the fallout.
lafd_overheard (word count: 9,251): the team discover an instagram account based on what the public has overheard from their calls.
from the ground up (word count: 8,304): eddie gets why buck filed the lawsuit.
healing through love (word count: 9,831): what if during the lawsuit buck got a call from chris’ school because he’s listed as an emergency contact and they can’t get ahold of eddie.
if i didn’t have you (word count; 5,364): accidental disney proposal turns real.
love doesn’t discriminate (word count: 10,681): buck gets tired and uses eddie as a pillow.
i’ll be the only dream you seek (word count; 8,041): “you’re not a mess, buck. you’re human, and you’re healing, and that’s okay.”
lest he be consumed (word count: 5,921): set post eddie begins.
today and forever (word count: 6,572): domestic fluff over haircuts
more or less (word count: 5,697): when an attempt to move his relationship with ana forward results in a breakup, eddie is left understanding what- who -he really wants.
you make it easy (word count: 6,354): a series of buddie-centric prompts.
it’s nice to have a friend (word count: 3,427): the washer breaks. eddie comes by. a light in the bathroom pops, a little out of maddie’s reach. eddie takes care of it.
without losing a piece of me (how do i get to heaven?) [word count: 12,246]: eddie comes out. with a side serving of good old fashioned catholic guilt, pining, and hard conversations.
(i’m in love) with the way you pull me close (word count: 6,462): eddie’s evolving relationship with buck, before, during, and after their trip to texas.
it’s funny how they say when you find someone (heart speeds up, time slows down) [word count: 5,593]: the one where eddie finds a no-nonsense therapist, confronts his feelings, and jumps off several metaphorical cliffs.
i will try to memorize the corners of your smile (word count: 13,307): a collection of buck and eddie one shots.
cause love is whatever we want it to be (word count: 17,015): the one where eddie and buck finally get to romancing and go on a series of dates, and somewhere along the way, eddie comes to terms with with sexuality.
lead me back (from the darkness) [word count: 16,168]: buck shows up at his front door and eddie realizes how wrong he was. he needs help. he needs buck.
i haven’t been myself in a while (i’m sorry) [word count: 10,346]: eddie’s ptsd is triggered by the helicopter rescue, and recovery isn’t so easy this time. not when buck isn’t around.
underneath my scars (word count: 14,775): eddie struggles with his panic attacks, buck helps him through it, and they find their way to each other.
it gets better in the dark (i feel closer to your heart) [word count: 7,613]: eddie’s back to work after the shooting, the power keeps cutting out, and he’s just realizing he’s hopelessly in love with his best friend.
of men and of angels (word count: 13,552): the one with all the repression.
glowing review (word count: 7,683): eddie looks at her, and he knows he isn’t in love with her.
but i got nothing but love on my mind (word count: 10,227): a retelling of how everyone knows buck and eddie love each other.
in the arms of the ocean (word count: 6,857): after the tsunami, eddie takes buck home.
home bound (word count: 6,127): babies are tiny, and eddie’s heart is too small for his chest.
of routines and embraces (word count: 6,556): buck and eddie establish a new routine, which in turn, leads to a new development in their relationship.
and now i’m covered (in you) [word count: 10,224]: eddie would rather jump off a bridge than talk about his feelings for buck, and buck is just confused.
fire on fire (word count: 6,668): buck and eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. it’s platonic until it’s not.
take my hand (take my everything) [word count: 10,307]: buck experiences another near death experience, which leads him to think about his will.
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spotlight on me and I'm ready to break
(season 5 speculations, pre-relationship, and cannot stress this enough, spoilers)
Honestly, this isn’t even the most ridiculous thing he’s seen in his life, but it’s high up there on the list.
Fucking emus? Cool.
What is even his life anymore?
And that’s not counting Buck in his cut off shirts and suspenders.
Eddie should have seen this coming.
L.A is in the middle of one of the worst heat waves in the last 20 something years and they’re all firefighters, so they can’t exactly hang out by the pool and cool down like the rest of the city. They have to make do with the air con blasting and bottles of icy cold water pressed against bare skin in the fire station but when they are out on a call in the middle of the L.A streets? That’s when all bets come off.
Hence, Buck in his ridiculous tight tank tops that show off his biceps obscenely.
Eddie’s not the only one staring. He can see many a bystander ogling Buck’s arms none too subtly and he resists the ridiculous urge to stomp over to the blond and make him put on his turnout jacket.
Because, one, as mentioned before, they’re in the middle of one of the worst heat waves in LA history.
And two, Eddie has no claim over Buck. He doesn’t get to be possessive or angry. They’re not together, as much as Eddie might wish otherwise.
Buck has Taylor now, which...Eddie is fine with, honestly. Buck can be with whoever he wants, and he had pined after Taylor Kelly long enough. Just because Eddie hadn't lasted with Ana doesn't mean Buck has to be miserable too.
Not that Eddie was miserable when he ended things with Ana. It had been a long time coming. Things had been nice with Ana, but it had never made his heart race, or made his palms sweaty, or made him lose his goddamn sleep. It's always easy to mistake nice for right. So, it had come as no surprise when his relationship with Ana fizzled out soon after the incident.
Even now, Eddie thinks of that day as the incident.
The incident where you were shot, Eddie’s mind sometimes whispers, and you were bleeding out in a L.A street staring at your best friend.
Eddie always shies away from the thought rather quickly and tells his mind firmly to shut up.
Turns out, it’s not easy or fair to be in a relationship with someone when you’re in love with someone else. And wasn’t that a shocker? Realizing you’re in love with your best friend when the last thing you wanted to see before your death was his face and then wanting his face to be the first thing you see after waking up when you thought you never would - that tends to change your perspective on life.
So, yes, he broke up with Ana barely two weeks after coming home. He didn’t tell Buck for two more weeks.
He had thought of telling him at the most inopportune of moments. He’d thought of telling him when Buck smoothed back his hair after a hard PT session. He’d thought of telling him when he was watching Buck help Christopher with his homework. He’d thought of telling him while watching him do the dishes after dinner. And he’d thought of nothing but telling him after waking up from a nightmare and resisting the urge to walk over to the couch where Buck was sleeping and climbing in with him.
Because...Buck would inevitably ask him why. And that’s a question Eddie isn’t willing to answer on the best of his days. At least, not out loud.
Besides, Buck has Taylor. Eddie can’t fuck that up for him. He’d already wasted so much of his time taking care of Eddie when he could have spent that time with his girlfriend. As much as Eddie resented himself for it, a part of him was selfishly glad because Buck chose him. Buck chose him and Christopher over his girlfriend and everything else.
And Eddie’s not even remotely close to being okay enough to have that conversation with Buck. He still wakes up drenched in sweat, swallowing back his screams. He still flinches when a car backfires or he sees a glint of metal out of the corner of his eyes. He still sees Buck’s face spattered with red, his eyes frozen in shock. It’s not something you can get over easily. But Buck doesn’t need to know that.
Buck has enough on his plate without Eddie adding to it.
So, Eddie had sent Buck home three months after coming home. Buck has a life, and Eddie’s interrupted enough as it is. Buck went, protesting the whole way, and promising to be back every day to help. He’d kept his promise.
Eddie doesn’t ask about Taylor anymore. He doesn’t want to know how Buck is coping with having a new relationship when he spends every day at Eddie’s house. It's fun, and Eddie gets to pretend that Buck is his. He gets to have Buck on and off the job. Everyone wins.
Which brings them back here, in a L.A street, chasing escaped zoo animals and decidedly not ogling Buck’s arms.
And Eddie still hasn’t forgotten how Buck had picked him up and thrown him over his shoulders easily when he’d been hurt and bleeding out. And he can't spiral down that rabbit hole again so he shuts that down firmly and quickly with relative success.
But Buck's arms look obscenely huge and they are glistening with sweat. Eddie can sort of sympathize with the people staring.
“You’re drooling,” Hen says drily.
Eddie didn’t even hear her approach. He wipes the back of his palm against his chin hastily before freezing, looking at Hen with wide eyes.
Hen just laughs at him. “Go help your boy,” she tells him, pointing with her chin at where Buck is looking around the streets with a confusion that seems particularly suited to this day. “He’s probably trying to figure out where the next animal is. Go help him.”
And Eddie does, because he may not be able to talk to Buck about his heart, but he can certainly help him wrangle some stupid animals.
His panic can wait another day.
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i dont take criticism, respectfully
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GUESS WHO CRACKED THE TOP 100 PAIRINGS ON AO3 THIS YEAR!!!
Also, because stats make me happy:
October 10, 2018: First Buddie fic was posted a few days after 2x05 aired (salute to you, you magnificent visionary)
2018: 58 fics (<1% of current total) were posted
2019: 1156 fics (~14% of current total) were posted
2020: 3590 fics (~42% of current total) were posted
2021 so far: 3753 (~44% of current total) were posted
2021, since the S4 finale (May 24): 1443 fics (~17% of total) were posted between the Season 4 finale airing and today (Aug 2)
I can't math beyond this point (i.e. growth rates) but given that nearly 20% of ALL OUR FICS come just from May-Aug 2021 alone, I'd say we're in a growth period lol
So here's to climbing this ladder together!
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Cheese and the firehouse for the buddie fic thing
cheese + the firehouse
Eddie’s alone, but not in the lonely way. Firefighters pass through the loft, a gentle murmur, but him and Buck, they’re in their own bubble. Fluorescents fill the station. Garage doors shut, sleep begins to roll through. An easy day, quick calls, long breaks. A long day, the slow ones always are. Boredom set in around nine p.m., two hours later and he hasn’t been cured. Tired eyes replace the slow drag of feet. There's the soft hum of the espresso machine from the kitchen, the sound of someone fighting off sleep one shot at a time.
Eddie’s given up on the fight, letting his head fall into Buck’s lap. They’re sitting on the couch; Buck’s sitting, Eddie’s draped across the cushions, leg hanging off the edge. He’s read the title of Buck’s book at least a dozen times, and studied the reviews on the back cover twice as much. The spine is worn, binding peeling apart, well read, well loved. Every few minutes, Buck taps his feet, jostling Eddie’s head, though he never mentions it and lets him fidget as he reads.
One hand tangles in Eddie’s hair, only moving away to turn the page. He leans into the scratches against his scalp like a cat, pressing further into Buck’s touch, humming softly. Content, yes, but still, he’s restless. He traces the back of Buck’s book, knocking his knuckles against the spine.
Buck taps the book against Eddie’s nose, his face scrunching in response. He huffs before pushing the book to the side to uncover Buck’s face.
“Hi,” he whispers, smiling down at Eddie. Buck’s hand slides towards his hairline, thumb rubbing small circles against his forehead. “How’s it goin’ down there?”
“I’m bored,” he sighs, reaching his hand up. Buck sets his book face down on Eddie’s stomach and tangles their hands together, resting on his chest.
“You need entertainment?”
Eddie pulls his leg back onto the couch, knees bent up. He taps his fingers against Buck’s knuckles, scrunching his face. “Maybe.”
“You’re in luck,” he says, squeezing his hand gently.
“Oh, am I?” Eddie raises a brow. He shifts in his seat but makes no effort to sit up.
“Absolutely,” he grins. “I’m full of jokes. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?”
Eddie squints his eyes. “Are you asking or telling?”
“Reality!” He throws out the punchline, ignoring Eddie’s question. “Why did the man get hit by a bike every day?”
“Why are your cheesy jokes so dark?”
“Because he was stuck in a vicious cycle.”
Eddie closes his eyes and groans at the punchline. Buck smiles down at him, clearly pleased with his reaction.
“Oh, I have more.”
“Are they just as bad as that one?”
Buck ruffles Eddie’s hair and he makes a face. “No, they’re worse,” he assures. “What do you call an alligator detective?”
“An investi-gator,” they say in sync.
Buck drops his jaw in mock offense. “Don’t steal my punchlines,” Buck taps his nose with their interlocked hands. “What do cows like to read?”
“A cattle-log,” Buck grins. Eddie shakes his head, amused. The jokes keep rolling as Buck continues brushing through his hair. “What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?”
“Do you only know bike jokes?”
“Bikes and animals,” he corrects, pointing at Eddie, dragging their locked hands along with the gesture.
“Fine,” Eddie concedes, “What’s the difference?”
“Attire,” he says. Eddie gives him half a laugh in response. “Why did the bike fall over?”
The bell rings before he can finish the joke, before he can tell Buck, “please get new jokes.” Buck swipes his book off Eddie’s stomach and plants a kiss to his forehead before sliding out from under him. He takes a moment before following him down the stairs into the truck, surely more jokes to come on the ride to their call.
send me a word + a place and i'll write you a short buddie fic
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jealousy, turning saints into the sea
find it on ao3
Eddie has never thought of himself as a jealous type. He has never felt a reason to be jealous even when he was away, on another mission. It was a rather unfamiliar emotion. It was until he met Buck. Or, to be more specific, until he met Taylor Kelly.
She was exactly this kind of woman he has always been avoiding. Confident (or even too confident), cunning and a little bit vicious. Heʼs not intimidated by strong women—hell, he knows and works with amazing women like Hen or Athena—and he loves them. But Taylor is different, though. Sheʼs more malicious and focused on herself, on her career. Even if Buck claims she has changed, Eddie still doesnʼt trust her. He canʼt trust or like her and he was really trying to accept her. The problem is, sheʼs still very much interested in Buck and she dates him. And thatʼs something Eddie canʼt get past. In fact, theyʼre on a date right now and thatʼs the only thing he can think about.
Oh, Eddie really wants to see his best friend happy... Just not necessarily with Taylor. He wants to be that someone who would make Buck happy. Getting shot helped him realize that maybe his feelings are not as platonic as he thought. Theyʼre as far from platonic as they can possibly be. Which is why he spends his evening alone, sulking on the couch. Christopher has a sleepover at Grant-Nash house, Ana is long gone from his life and Buckʼs on a date. He was concerned earlier about leaving Eddie all alone but Eddie insisted he would be okay.
He really regrets his words now. Heʼs not okay. Heʼd rather spend his evening curled up with Buck, watching some movies. Theyʼve been doing this since Buck kind of moved in to help Eddie with his recovery and take care of Christopher. And Eddie has adjusted to this new reality embarrassingly quickly. He loves being woken up by his best friend, he loves joyous breakfasts with Christopher and Buck, he loves when Buck comes home after the shift and asks how his boys are doing. He loves that Buckʼs so patient and sweet even if Eddieʼs all whiny and cranky. He just loves Buck and itʼs hard to see him with someone else. But he wanted to be a good friend and let Buck enjoy himself instead of babysitting him.
The TV is playing a sappy and dumb rom-com but Eddie doesn’t even notice. He stares at it but he can’t focus. He’s still thinking about Buck and his date—which should be over soon—and wondering what they might’ve been doing. Unsurprisingly, it doesnʼt help and just makes his misery worse.
He almost calls him.
He stops before he touches the dial button and bites his lip.
This is ridiculous and pathetic.
Buck told him to call if something was wrong but is he really that petty and desperate to cut Buckʼs date short and make him come back?
He wants to say no but it wouldnʼt be a complete truth. Heʼs petty and jealous and he really tries not to destroy this date even if itʼs with Taylor Kelly. God, sometimes he really has that strange urge to strangle her just because sheʼs always somewhere hanging around Buck.
Do not embarrass yourself, Diaz, he thinks, carefully putting away his phone on the table.
But what if Buckʼs not coming home tonight?
And there it is, that annoying, pesky voice in his mind, always ready to let the doubt creep in.
He canʼt behave like a whiny, little brat.
He should be better than this.
He should, for Buckʼs sake.
He lets out a long, heavy sigh and he looks at the phone. 9:30 pm. Itʼs still not that late, he doesnʼt really need help. He can hold on for a little longer.
He can, right?
At 10 pm heʼs not that sure about this anymore. Heʼs still sitting on the couch, nervously tapping at his leg and waiting for his best friend.
Fuck it. Heʼll cringe at himself later.
He dials Buckʼs number, biting his lip quite hard.
Heʼs not really surprised Buck picks up almost immediately. He always does it.
“Eds? Are you okay?” He asks, his voice all concerned.
“Y-Yeah, I am. It’s just...” Eddie falls silent for a moment. He shouldʼve thought at least about a good excuse but itʼs too late now. “Iʼm so sorry for calling you on a date but...”
“... You need my help?” Buck finishes. “I told you, you can call me if you need me. Iʼll be home in twenty.” He promises, not even waiting for Eddie to explain why.
“Thanks, Buck.” Eddie says shyly and hangs up.
It... Wasnʼt as bad as he thought it would be. He doesnʼt feel that bad as he expected to. He feels embarrassed, just a little bit, but thatʼs all. Buck is coming home and thatʼs the only thing that matters. He will explain it... Somehow.
The next twenty minutes feel like an eternity of torture but he finally hears the keys jingling and seconds later, Buck coming inside.
“Hey, Eddie.” He says warmly. He doesnʼt seem to be upset about the date and Eddie really hopes he wonʼt be pissed about it. “How are you feeling? Did you take the meds? Are you in pain?”
That sweet concern in his voice and the way he rushes to him to check his pulse, his forehead to confirm heʼs okay, it moves Eddie to the point he almost blurts out I love you.
“No... Iʼm not in pain and I did take my meds. Itʼs... I wanted to change my clothes but I couldn't take off my shirt.” He says instead, looking apologetically at his best friend.
“You really called me to help you take off your shirt?” Buck asks curiously, raising an eyebrow. Eddie blushes and starts to worry that he mightʼve pissed him off after all. But Buck doesnʼt sound angry when he continues. “... After I told you to change your clothes before I go out but you insisted you donʼt see any reason to change it?”
“Maybe?” Eddie admits.
Buck laughs heartily.
“And Iʼm the dumbass one. Now, sit up, Edmundo and let me change it.” He orders.
Eddie does it without hesitation. Theyʼve done it a lot of times already—even though it wasnʼt too easy at first—that they could do it with their eyes closed. Buck carefully pulls off Eddieʼs shirt and his touch is very light, almost like a brush of a feather but Eddie still feels it and it runs shivers down his spine.
“I gotta admit, though, that Iʼm relieved you werenʼt a stubborn mule and didnʼt try to do it all by yourself.”
“When I was the stubborn mule?”
“You want the exact dates?”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” Buck’s smile is very cocky and confident. “You’re doing so well because you have the best nurse in the world. Who puts up with your stubbornness and constant whining. And you love me for it.”
You don’t know how much, he adds in his thoughts.
Buck helps him put on his favourite sleeping t-shirt, takes a beer from the fridge and bottle of water for Eddie and then settles on the couch next to him.
“It was only an excuse.” Eddie blurts out suddenly. Heʼs not sure why he said it; maybe itʼs because he doesnʼt like to lie.
“What was an excuse?” Buck asks, opening his bottle. He sounds curious, but also a little bit cautious.
“The shirt. I didnʼt want to change my shirt. I was just jealous because you were on a date with Taylor.”
Buck chokes on his beer. He needs a moment or two to process Eddieʼs words.
“Why are you even jealous? Is it because youʼre single again? Do you... Do you miss Ana?”
Eddie looks at him quizzically.
“What? No. I donʼt miss her.” He huffs and falls silent because he doesnʼt know how to say what he means and not to sound like a complete asshole.
“Then why are you jealous? I know you donʼt like Taylor but I swear, sheʼs different now, sheʼs changed now and actually, weʼre not—”
“Iʼm in love with you. Iʼm jealous because Iʼm in love with you.” Eddie interrupts him. He looks at his hands, pretending to find something interesting here. He didnʼt even think about it, it just happened. Heʼs afraid of what he will hear next, what will their friendship look like, heʼs afraid it might be the end of their amazing relationship that theyʼve built.
Buck says nothing, maybe for a minute or two and the panic in Eddieʼs chest starts to rise. The words are out and thereʼs no coming back, he canʼt take them back. He canʼt make Buck forget about this and knowing him, not only he wouldnʼt forget but he would also spend a lot of time analysing them.
Buck touches his chin to force him to look up and look into his eyes but Eddie doesnʼt do it.
Itʼs quiet, fragile, unsure, pleading. Eventually, Eddie obliges. He sees Buckʼs face so close to his; he can see those cute blue eyes shining with excitement and how the corners of his mouth curl into a sweet smile. Heʼs not horrified, scared or disappointed, itʼs the opposite of it.
“You are a real dumbass, Diaz.” Buck says before he kisses him. Itʼs soft and chaste as if he doesnʼt want to overwhelm his best friend even if he was the one to say about his feelings. Eddie is overwhelmed, not because of the kiss, itʼs rather because he can barely believe itʼs true, itʼs real. He cradles Buckʼs face in his hands, caresses his cheek with his thumb and kisses him back.
Buck moves closer to him and thereʼs something sweet and touching with the way he carefully shifts his position to be more comfortable and not to accidentally hurt him. Eddie wants to say something sassy and flirting, mention something about Buck being the most attentive and caring nurse he’s had but before he opens his mouth, Buck kisses him again.
“Wait, Buck—” Eddie pulls away from Buck (he does it very reluctantly but he needs to know) to look into his eyes. “What about Taylor?”
“Now you’re thinking about Taylor?” Buck asks with amusement. “Taylor is my friend. We’re better as friends rather than a couple.”
“So why did you go on a date with her tonight?”
“I’ve never said I was going on a date. I just said that I’m going out with Taylor. You just assumed it’s a date.” Buck points out, slightly grinning.
“And you didn’t correct me.” Eddie adds accusatory. “You’d spare me a lot of misery.”
“If I had even the slightest suspicion you might be in love with me, I would have acted sooner.”
“I thought I was very obvious. Everyone told me that, even Ana said that I looked like a lovesick fool when she saw us together.” Eddie admits honestly. “I made you Christopher’s legal guardian, wasn’t it obvious enough?”
“Uh, no? I mean… I was wondering if it means more but I don’t want to jump into conclusions and give myself false hope. So I’d rather not think about it too much.” Buck explains shyly. “I didn’t want to destroy our friendship. I could live with unrequited love but not without my favourite Diaz boys.”
“We’re both dumbasses then.” Eddie laughs and kisses his best friend again.
“I must admit, your ideas might not be the smoothest but they definitely work on Buck.” Eddie hears Taylorʼs amused voice behind his back and he turns around to face her.
Itʼs an early evening but the whole team is at Diaz house (or, to be more specific, at Buckley—Diaz house because Buck has officially moved in a few days ago) to celebrate Eddieʼs comeback to the 118. Taylorʼs here too because Buck insisted on inviting her—even though Eddie wasnʼt ecstatic. He knows that she is no threat to his relationship but heʼs still a little bit cautious.
“What ideas?” He asks curiously.
“Donʼt play dumb, Diaz. You have always found a way to keep me away from him.” Taylor laughs heartily. “I get it, I really get it. You just want to protect him. But you donʼt have to worry, I have no intention of stealing him or hurting him.”
“Okay, maybe I was trying to keep him as far from you as possible. I didnʼt like you, I didnʼt trust you. Hell, I still have trouble trusting you. But Buck likes you and I trust him.” Eddie shrugs. “And maybe, maybe youʼre not as bad as Iʼve thought.”
“I take that as a compliment.” Taylor grins and takes a sip of the drink she has in her hands. “After you were shot... We thought for a brief moment that maybe we should try, be together but it didnʼt last long. Sure, we have a great chemistry but we want different things in life. Buck wants a family and Iʼm not thinking about it. I donʼt think Iʼm a good material for a wife or a mother. Probably not.” She says honestly. Eddie detects a note of regret, maybe a grief in her voice but he doesnʼt want to pry; they donʼt have this kind of relationship to tell about their secrets.
“Youʼre probably too hard for yourself.” He cuts in anyway.
“Maybe.” She chuckles. “But let me finish. My first priority is my work and Buckʼs first priority are his Diaz boys and it was easy to notice it so our relationship wouldnʼt work anyway. Especially after he told me about your will. Something this big as making Buck legally tied to your family would be problematic if you two were in relationships with other people. And the fact that you two are in love. When I met Buck again, I couldnʼt understand at first why you were always so pissed off when I was around. Iʼve tried to be nice but you were always so sarcastic and dismissive. But then I was enlightened... You were just jealous because youʼre in love with him too. Do you know how our dates,” she makes an air quote, “looked like? I was trying to convince him that his feelings are not one-sided and he was repeating that you would never fall in love with him. That was very exhausting.”
“That sounds very much like Buck.” Eddie sighs heavily. “If Iʼm honest, I have fallen for his idiot ass embarrassingly fast. It just took me a long time to realize this.” He admits. “Sometimes Iʼm still surprised he fell in love with me.”
“Youʼre the finest dilf in LA with the softest heart, whatʼs not to love? Itʼs not surprising he fell in love with you.”
“Did you just call me the finest dilf in LA?” Eddie asks, completely surprised and amused at the same time.
“I have eyes, Diaz, and I can admit it even though the mentioned dilf is not a fan of mine.” She answers with a smirk.
“Are you calling my boyfriend dilf?” They hear Buck’s voice and immediately turn around. “If I didn’t know you, I’d think you’re hitting on Eddie.” He adds and kisses Eddie on the cheek. It’s new, fresh and even though Eddie loves Buck’s affectionate gestures, it still makes him blush.
“Please, as if I ever had a chance.” Taylor sniggers. “You two are so disgustingly into each other, I doubt you’d notice anyone else. Oh, and Buckley? You owe me fifty bucks.”
Eddie raises an eyebrow, looking from Taylor to Buck curiously.
“We had a bet and Buck lost it.” The reporter explains and she looks very pleased with herself. “We were betting how long it would take you to ask Buck to move in. I told him you wouldn’t want to waste more time but he didn’t want to believe me.”
Eddie smiles widely.
“You were right, Evan. She’s not that bad at all.”
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Hi I need your help finding a fic!
It was a near death experience story where on a case one of them had to save the other (I think it was like tackling them out of the way of a car or something, may have been raining). Anyways after the adrenaline wears off they’re both really affected by the implication of almost losing the other. Buck is in the locker room trying to get dressed but he can’t button up his shirt while his hands are shaking and so Hen helps him. She talks to him about how he’s feeling and he says something like ‘I’m being silly” but then she tells him that Eddie is just as freaked out upstairs with Bobby and maybe also Chim.
I know it may seem like not a lot to go on but I'm hoping someone will recognize it
That was perfect, I actually managed to find it in my bookmarks!
you cause lanterns to light by @buckactuallys
"He doesn’t hear a motor over the noise of the rain and the cars on the other side of the road, but he sees a light and realises there’s a car barrelling towards him on the technically barred street only a second before a body collides with his and pushes him out of the way right before the car passes over the spot he was just standing in."
prompt fill for "kisses in the rain"
~ Mod T
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hiiii calling all whump writers could you please write this:
and have buddie love confession?? please and thank you!
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If you’re looking for buddie fics that are written like beautiful poetry. Where the words are so romantic it pulls at your heartstrings, look no further:
where sunlight and serenity meet
a two inch difference
I recently discovered @lemonzestywrites fics and I’m just in love! After reading The Song of Achilles, I’ve always wanted to find fics that portray love in a poetic style but I never really found any on Ao3. That was until now. After reading these two fics, I found myself grinning and just falling in love with the words written on the page. I was rendered speechless and wanting more. So please do yourselves a favour and read these fics, it’s just art 🥺💕
(Be right back, going to read them again and cry and then smile because it’s so beautiful)
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Buddie Kinktober 2021
Day 2: Spanking
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Every time I see a fic tagged as Female Buck, I’m like—
Thanks, I hate it. 🌼
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buddie fic recs
*updated as i go
hi! decided it would be easier to just make one big master list of fics for everyone to enjoy. descriptions are either me using my own words or straight from ao3! all of these fics i deeply love! (twitter: @/daiIybuddie)
-> side fic list (general buddie fics that i didn't know where to put)
ripples all the way down (word count: 57,270): christopher partakes in some parent trapping. one of my favourite fics ever.
leave the light on (i'll be coming home) [word count: 44,414]: eddie is missing presumed leaving buck with custody of chris.
it might storm (word count: 14,693): fuck.
end of the affair (word count: 10,669): just some very wholesome content of two dads and their son plus eddie's house almost blows up!
a leaf falls on loneliness (word count: 11,163): give buck a hug and some love please
have it all (word count: 4,702): eddie spends a year attempting to prove buck is not expendable.
don't take my sunshine away (word count: 113,785): eddie is in a coma, and buck blames himself.
show me the places where the others gave you scars (word count: 6,349): eddie takes care of buck wounds
carnations (word count: 10,064): buck mentions never getting flowers before, and a certain someone decides to remedy that.
i was worn out and jaded from trying on people to love (word count: 9,832): buck begins, i cried.
look how they shine for you (word count; 9,170): another blackout fic but it made me cry.
only child of the universe (and then i found you) [word count: 5,710]: in which eddie finds a stray kitten, and she changes everything.
before you go (word count: 10,611): buck and eddie love each other, but not at the same time.
when there’s smoke, there’s fire (word count: 23,787): it turns out that being in a secret relationship with your best friend in an active fire department is kind of a life-altering situation, once it’s not so secret anymore.
bitter tangerine (word count: 10,251): when gunpowder met fire, only one thing could happen. an explosion. and this is what buck and eddie were, gunpowder and fire. the disaster was inevitable.
i want you by my side (so that i never feel alone) [word count: 3,258): buddie at madney wedding. eddie is going to hell.
where the wildflowers grow (word count: 11,051): buck is determined to woo eddie, and eddie finally finds a use for his fluency in flower language.
it’s not a love song (word count: 34,009): after an insurance issue leaves eddie in need of a spouse, buck quickly and easily steps in to fill the role.
to build a home we deconstruct our rituals (word count: 44,248): what might happen if his family contests buck’s guardianship. luckily, he’s got a simple easy-peasy solution that won’t result in insanity, catastrophe, or heartbreak; marry buck.
some days i am too proud to ask for help (word count: 7,071): a post 4x05 coda that explores eddie’s concern for buck’s mental well-being after the factory fire.
the distance to the stars (word count: 27,258): everyone knows eddie is dating buck except eddie, literally.
now there’s no more almost (word count: 3,027): “i wouldn’t have made it these past few months without you”
my hands are shaking from holding back from you (word count: 84,196): eddie is dating ana, and buck gives him space, but after a heated fight between the two, where a confession is unintentionally made, things take a turn.
safe (with you) [word count: 3,049): 5x07 speculation
to bind one’s heart to another (word count: 31,130): moments in time where eddie thinks about one of the most critical decisions of his life.
i want your midnights (word count: 36,358): roommates au! eddie rents out his spare room around the same time buck moves out of abby's place.
you know in your soul, when it’s time to go (word count: 6,521): it’s only fitting that here is where buck finally comes to terms with the reality that he has to end the relationship he was ready to be in for the rest of his life.
baby tell me when you’re ready (i’m waiting) [word count: 2,575]: inspired by eddie’s heart eyes in the last few minutes of buck begins.
leave my body (word count: 23,077): buck dies but it's not the end.
(for you) i would ruin myself (a million little times) [word count: 38,184]: what if buck had been the one who got shot?
all paths lead to home (word count: 106,955): seven years after the tsunami and lawsuit, evan buckley finally returns to los angeles to settle things with the 118. ruined me.
i kinda fell half in love (and you're to blame) [word count: 33,387]: buck can totally deal with eddie and ana's relationship. totally.
the taste of your praise (word count: 3,878): five times eddie’s praise makes buck grin like a fool, and the one time that he’s actually there to witness it.
if the world was ending (word count: 121,694): eddie doesn’t realize how bad he hurt buck. buck leaves and find a boyfriend. he gets injured. buck gets injured. they heal together.
i’ll be alright (it’s just a thousand cuts) [word count: 8,088]: eddie relives one specific week over and over again until he finally learns how to take carla’s words.
half awake in our fake empire (word count; 33,534): buck 1.0 fathered a child and buck 4.0 comes into custody.
kindness: what connects us (word count: 9,649): buck falls into the water instead of chris, unconscious and seriously injured, he’s unaware that his team has been searching for him for days.
meet cute with a side of suspected murder (word count: 4,435): too bad he’s a serial killer.
serendipity (can’t get him off my mind) [word count: 7,184]: buck has a job at the daycare. his life hasn’t turned out how it expected, but then he gets a text from a wrong number which changes everything.
i think i might’ve inhaled you (word count: 25,994): how do you tell your best friend that you’re actually in love with them? if you’re evan buckley, you don’t.
mr. buckley’s after hours detention (word count: 11,407): it’s not like eddie planned on bringing his son’s teacher a homemade goody basket, then again christopher has never had a teach quite like evan buckley.
don’t take the money (word count: 21,831): the post-lawsuit time-loop au no one asked for.
dancing under red skies (30,346): buck hates eddie diaz on sight. or, a soulmate au.
close my eyes and stumble (right into your love) [word count: 21,652]: eddie joins dispatch, which is all good and fine, expect for this one firefighter he keeps ending up talking to.
buy back the secrets (word count: 18,808): after getting hurt on a call, buck wakes up thinking it’s 2018.
buckley’s bouquets (word count: 23,415): 5 times eddie gives flowers to other people and the 1 time he gives them to buck.
inevitable (word count: 1,763): buck can't lie and it's a miracle that eddie survives it all.
not yet (word count: 10,794): five times that they decided they weren't ready to date, and the one time they decided it was the perfect time.
you were my versailles at night (word count: 9,105): five times buck bites his tongue and the one time he lets himself exhale.
one of the few things (word count: 7,222): five times that eddie tells someone else buck is christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells buck.
there's magic in details, the tender small gestures of love (word count: 5,675): five times the 118 and their families got an accidental glimpse into their relationship, and the one time they intentionally got a glimpse.
it will get easier (remember that with every piece of you) [word count: 7,332]: five times buck prioritizes his safety because of eddie’s will and the one time he doesn’t.
the shift (word count: 13,680): five times the team noticed a shift between buck and eddie and the one time they figured out what it meant.
to watch you fall (word count: 12,904): buddie through maddie’s eyes.
a thousand ways to say i hate you (word count: 8,096): five times eddie buys taylor fuck-you flowers, and the one time he doesn’t need to.
better together (word count; 9,033): 5 times eddie sees buck wearing his last name and 1 time it’s not just his.
i once believed live would be burning red, but it’s golden (word count: 3,452): the four times that buck was in an unhealthy relationship, and the one time he wasn’t.
you mean the world to me (word count: 3,310): 5 times eddie tell buck he loves him, and the one time buck realizes.
what’s been said (between your heart and mine) [word count: 19,467]: 5 times eddie and buck have a silent conversation +1 time it’s important enough to be said out loud again afterwards.
you are safe (with me) [word count: 10,552]: 5 times eddie waltzed into buck’s apartment like he owned it, and 1 time buck tried
longer ones (20k words+)
alone again tonight with you (word count: 37,241): eddie and ana are dating, buck secretly is in love with him, and christopher isn't handling it well.
the evolution of buddie (collection): over time, eddie starts to wonder if everyone might actually be right when they joke about him and buck being more than friends.
what’s love got to do with it (word count: 128,350+): platonic boyfriends turn not so platonic after all.
(further than the moon) bright as the sun [word count: 23, 148]: buck and eddie get together messily, with fits and starts, with bad timing and poor communication. like this. (part 3 of a series so i recommend reading those too)
heart of flowers / heart of gold (word count: not finished): the universe screams, and eddie doesnt listen.
tread lightly (word count: 151,278): learning to love again.
waves (it comes and goes) [word count: 40,143]: a phone call forces buck to confront his past in order to build a new future.
burned on the pyre (word count: 164,343): part two of the previous
i’ll be your family (when your times get hard) [word count: 22,589]: after eddie gets hurt on the job, he realizes he needs to sort some things out so christopher is always taken care of.
standing on the brink of emptiness (word count: 70,990): eddie struggling with the aftermath of being shot, taking care of himself, & being in love with buck; & buck dating taylor, taking care of the diazs and just being confused
on the outside looking in (word count: 29,615): post season four finale, buck and eddie work through things.
the old man thought it was weak (word count; 27,233): “eddie, i think you’re depressed.”
it’s blue (the feeling i got) (collection) [word count: 37,381): post 4x14, eddie and buck navigate the waters of what’s next.
the space between sleep (word count: 111,697): as weeks pass after the tsunami, christopher has eddie to help him deal with the scars it left behind. he also has buck. buck’s dealing with his own demons, but he has them both.
my love has come along (word count: 21,858): missing scenes from season two onwards, in which maddie falls for chimney, and watches buck and eddie’s relationship slowly blossom.
i don’t swim and you’re not in love (word count: 32,374): eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hate’s his best friend’s girlfriend. to everyone’s immense shock, it goes badly.
when i was ship wrecked (i thought of you) [word count: 35,039]: eddie needs to learn to let himself feel, and one step at a time, he learns how to do just that (and he falls in love with buck along the way.)
i deserve the dream (but i don’t deserve the hurting) [word count: 20,718]: when buck jumps off a bridge to save a little girl during a call, he’s coming home to the diaz house so they can take care of him.
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my love will laugh with me (until the morning comes)
(the title is from “paint it black” which the clip ― you know which clip I'm talking about ― played briefly)
“We’re firefighters, Buck, I am not having our colleagues come into my house to put out the fire.”
“No,” Eddie says pointedly. “That’s embarrassing.”
“Counterpoint,” Buck grins at him unrepentantly. “Candles.”
“Yeah, Dad,” Chris chimes in. “Candles!”
Eddie resists the urge to facepalm. The whole of LA has been submerged into a blackout with no news on how long it will last and they’re still in hour one. Thank God Buck was already hanging out with them. Eddie hates to think of Buck all alone in his apartment in the dark. Not that Eddie wouldn’t have called him to come over anyway. The point is, this saved him having to ask.
Which is how he gets to be ganged up on by his son and his ― his Buck.
Chris would probably be thrilled to know that his father is borrowing his words to describe his best friend. Because, let’s face it, there was no other way to describe Buck.
Eddie’s probably been silent for too long because when his eyes snap back to focus, there are at least three more candles added to the one already lit on the coffee table.
“Alright,” Eddie compromises with only slight reluctance, knowing how to give up when he’s already lost the fight, “Only four.”
Buck lets out a cheer at that which Chris is quick to follow ― and Eddie’s heart does a complicated thing. It’s not unfamiliar, but it’s gone unacknowledged for so long ― years, really ― that he’s still trying to stop himself from letting the words spill out. Ana is history, and Taylor is soon to be even if Buck himself won’t let himself say it. Eddie and Buck ― what they have is worth taking the time.
“Okay, now,” Buck winks at Chris conspiratorially, the candlelight illuminating his face in a golden glow and making his eyes shine. “Whatever shall we do to pass the time?”
“I love when we played Scrabble,” Chris tells them hopefully. “Do you know any other cool games?
“Alright, kid,” Buck says, smiling down at him, “I know this cool game called Monopoly ―“
Eddie can barely contain his own smile, feeling like his heart is doing the samba with the way it’s beating within its cage.
“― And I know all the tricks,” Buck continues shamelessly, grinning at Eddie again.
And Eddie cannot let that stand in good conscience So he warns him playfully, “Let’s not teach him to hustle.”.
Buck just laughs, reaching out his hand to ruffle Chris’s hair affectionately. “Alright, kid, let’s go show your dad how it’s done.”
Eddie was right. This thing that they have between them ― it’s worth everything in the world.
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guys i need your help once again finding a Buddie Fic.
its a one shot of when Eddie is trapped underground but he get out obviously right. but its a buck-centric fic ok. like buck is absolutely traumatized by it, because of the tsunami and He tell Hen “why does water keep taking people i love” hes like attached to eddie all the time and eddie finally has enough and tell buck to back off.
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Carve It Into Stone, 1574 words - Buck/Eddie + Chris, Sleepy Sickfic
Caught in the rhythm of routine, Eddie remembers a few moments too late that he’s meant to be entering quietly when he gets home from work.
Or: a self-indulgent Buck and Chris napping together fic because of this post.
Caught in the rhythm of routine, Eddie remembers a few moments too late that he’s meant to be entering quietly when he gets home from work. The deadlock has already been turned but, wincing, he slides his key back out gently and palms the doorknob deliberately to prevent the familiar squeaks from reverberating through the house.
Once inside, he guides his duffel bag to the floor, not letting the strap clatter down as he usually would, and takes care as he bends down to unlace his boots and toe them off before padding into the living room, following the low sounds of the television.
On Thursday, Abuela asked for help figuring out the new tax software she wanted to use this year — it was very user friendly but she was very much in her 80s — and instead of subjecting Christopher to an entire afternoon and evening of boredom, Eddie asked Buck to pick him up from school and hang out until he could join them. He hadn’t known at the time that Christopher was sent home with a note saying he’d been sniffly and should be kept home until he felt better: new protocols in the mid/post-COVID-19 world.
Buck immediately got him a rapid test for COVID-19 and it was ruled out, and it didn’t present like a flu, it was just a hell of a cold. Mild fever, runny nose, body aches — the works. And Buck, who had been exposed for hours at its peak transmission period, did not escape it. Which made it handy when Eddie needed a sitter on Friday and Buck naturally had to call in sick himself.
Buck was sending him text updates all throughout his shift but they stopped suddenly a couple hours ago, so Eddie is not at all surprised to find them both out for the count.
Still, he’s not prepared to take in the sight of Buck stretched on his back, somehow fitting his 6’2 frame between each arm rest, and Christopher tucked snugly along his side, more on top of him than in the wedge between Buck’s body and the back of the couch. One of Buck’s hands is curled up by his face, while his other arm is holding Christopher to him as if there was a risk of falling. Christopher’s arm is tucked into his chest, and his head is resting against Buck’s collarbone, nearly tucked right under his chin and Eddie…
He pauses and grapples with this picture of strength and fragility juxtaposed and blended together. Buck, built for strength and power, tenderly cradling his young son. Both of them unstoppable forces of energy and unrestrained joy, both cast down together by germs they just have to weather.
Both of them here, recovering together, safe under Eddie’s roof, under Eddie’s watch now.
He feels suddenly like he’s walked blindly into a moment in the course of his life whose significance he can’t yet pinpoint and he thinks if he just stays here, quiet, still, he might be able to reach out and understand it.
Christopher’s glasses are on the table nestled between a tissue box and two empty glasses of water, indicating one of them knew they were headed towards an extended nap before they settled in and somehow that detail tugs at his heart fiercely. To imagine Buck watching Christopher get sleepier and sleepier, carding his fingers through his curls fondly, and gently lifting his glasses off to make him more comfortable. Was he already settled against Buck by then? Or were they sitting upright until Buck started to lose his own battle with fatigue and rearranged them like this? Indulging both their need for cuddles when they’re feeling low?
It doesn’t matter, but Eddie wishes fiercely that he knew.
They’re both breathing easily enough, like most of the congestion has lifted, though he can tell by the amount of crumpled up tissues that missed the trash can Buck must have brought into the living room that they had a hell of a day with it. Their cheeks are a little flushed with fever still, and Eddie wants to check but doesn’t dare touch them for fear of disturbing them.
Instead, he takes in their pale skin, their dark curls, and their unguarded faces in sleep and marvels for the hundredth time at how improbable it is that they could look so alike and how strangely happy he is about it. By now he’s used to the guilt that accompanies this thought, and as always, spares a thought to Shannon, but then he lets himself linger on it like he doesn’t usually have the luxury of doing.
Usually their similarities strike him at the worst times: when he turns around in line to catch them making faces and laughing at being caught, and Eddie has to pretend to be grumpy and turn back around to play into their game; when they’re ordering ice cream and Eddie asks for strawberry and they both turn to look at him with identical expression of disappointment because fruit isn’t a treat even if it’s fake fruit; when he has to take a call from Carla as they’re walking into the museum and catches up to Buck and Chris just in time to hear the ticket taker say “you and your dad have fun!” because she has eyes and anyone on Earth would have assumed the same. These are moments Eddie has to let lie and move on from quickly. Moments he only gets to revisit when he’s laying in bed at night, trying to conjure up the visuals exactly as they were to reproduce the tightening in his chest he keeps experiencing, but failing every time.
But now, here, he can linger.
No, he can do more than linger.
Moving slowly as if any sudden movement could break this tranquility, Eddie slips his phone out of his pocket and double-taps the power button to bring up the camera.
He takes a single, wide-view shot of the whole couch, and admires it for a moment.
Then he zooms in on their sleeping faces and takes two more.
Three new pictures to add to the overflowing folder of pictures that will never go on Instagram.
He quickly sends Carla the wide-view shot because he feels the need to share what he’s come home to and she’s the only safe option. The only one who won’t read more into it than Eddie’s comfortable addressing.
Though if Eddie’s being truthful, he knows she’s just the only one who’ll keep it to herself until he’s ready to hear it.
Carla sends back three red hearts, and Eddie can’t help but agree.
He slips his phone back into his pocket and makes room to sit on the coffee table.
Buck’s hand is right there, open, palm facing up, waiting.
Eddie reaches for his shoulder instead, though he slips up and instead of jostling him gently like he meant to, his hand curves around his shoulder and his thumb glides back and forth against his shirt until Buck is snuffling and blinking awake.
“Hey,” Eddie says, smiling when Buck remains half-asleep, his body as relaxed as it was in sleep.
“Hey,” he croaks, gently clearing his throat and casting a nervous eye to Christopher who makes nothing of the disturbance.
“How are you feeling?”
Buck seems to mentally assess himself. “Fine, just crazy tired. Our little man here was a trooper, but he conked out a couple hours ago. Aw, shi--oot,” he looks at the television, “I was supposed to pause it when he fell asleep. I don’t remember which episode we were on.”
Eddie smiles. “He probably won’t even remember the episodes you did watch. You can start over when you’re both back on your feet.”
“Mm,” Buck hums, his eyelids already growing heavier again. “‘K.”
Eddie watches sleep take over Buck, until those tired lids are pried apart suddenly with mild alarm.
“D’you want m’to put him to bed?” Buck slurs. “Be more comfortable?”
Eddie shakes his head with a fond smile. “He’s just fine where he is.”
Buck’s eyes grow vulnerable in a way he’s been trying to hide lately when he’s in full control of his faculties, and the corner of his lips tugs up into a shy smile.
“Go back to sleep,” Eddie says, his voice pitched low to be soothing.
Buck obeys and within a couple of minutes his face is slack and peaceful, his breathing evened out, but some stray impulse shifts his hand away from his face and off the couch entirely to hang in the space between them.
Can Eddie really be faulted then for taking it in his hands and holding on for just a second — feeling the slight heat from the fever seep into his skin, feeling the curl of mildly calloused fingers against his, feeling the weight of it between his palms and deciding that he likes it, a lot?
He guides Buck’s hand back to its original resting place and doesn’t give in when his fingers want to explore the ungelled curls resting against his forehead.
He lingers, again, just one more time, and lets the knowledge that Carla’s talk will likely be coming sooner rather than later wash over him.
And by the way he only barely makes it to the kitchen before thumbing open his gallery and reviewing the three pictures he took, he figures he may just be ready for it.
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laughter + in the car
hit me baby one more time
laughter + in the car
There’s an unspoken system to their travels: Buck drives, Eddie rides shotgun. More often than not they’re in the Jeep, the old, tattered Jeep he refuses to give up. The seats are permanently adjusted just the way they like, pushed back enough for their long legs, set low so they don’t hit their heads. Eddie leans his seat back, Buck rests further forward, leaning into the steering wheel.
He doesn’t drive as often as Buck, but when he does, both hands remain firmly on the wheel, only moving to slide the gear shift forwards. Both hands, ten and two, gripping tightly on the leather, maintaining control. Every bump, every turn, he feels it all. To him, driving is a chore, but to Buck it’s freeing. He drives with one hand draped over the top of the wheel, fingers tracing the dashboard. He lets his other hand find Eddie, loosely interlocked over the center console. The car’s too old to have an aux cord or bluetooth, so he fills the glovebox with thrift store CD’s; classic rock, nineties boy bands, a Britney Spears album that’s never been opened, and random movie soundtracks to films he’s not sure Buck has ever seen.
They let the breeze pass through the windows, warm and light. The traffic moves slowly, but they’re in no rush.
“Nevada!” Buck shouts, pointing at the license plate in the right lane, dropping their hands and smacking Eddie on the arm.
“That’s the same Nevada we’ve passed three times,” he says, smacking him right back. It’s the rules of the license plate game. They play every time they’re in the car, whether it’s a ten minute drive to work or a three hour road trip. Chris especially enjoys teaming up with Buck and getting to smack Eddie from the backseat.
“It’s an orange Prius with a vanity plate,” he points, “it’s the same Nevada, you don’t get to hit me.”
“The other two were not orange,” Buck defends. Incorrectly, but he defends. It's the same tactic he plays for every car ride, and he still can’t tell if Buck is messing with him or if he has a terrible short term memory.
Eddie takes Buck’s free hand, lacing them together to point at the car. “The plate says ‘HAZARD’ on it, you think I’d forget that?”
Buck refuses to follow Eddie’s hand. Traffic dissipates, and HAZARD drives off, a few cars ahead. Buck hits the gas just as fast, keeping pace with the Prius.
“You’re lying,” he says.
“And you’re cheating,” Eddie retorts. “Read the plate.”
“I can’t read, I’m driving.”
“Oh my God, you’re the worst.”
Buck laughs before dropping their hands once again to smack his arm. “Oregon!”
send me a word + a place and i'll write you a short buddie fic
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|| 1.6k || ao3 link ||
Buck had overslept. Slept straight through his alarms, only to wake up 13 minutes before he needed to be leaving for work. Second time this week and, to matters worse, every single one of his LAFD shirts was balled up in the corner of his room. After pulling on the bottom half of his uniform, he sniffed the balled-up shirts. Rank, rancid, double rank, gag-inducing. The thought of wearing a disgusting smelling shirt made Buck's skin crawl, so he threw on a plain black shirt and hoped for the best. Hopefully, Bobby wouldn't see him before he could pull on an actual LAFD shirt straight from the dryer.
Buck pulled into the station's parking lot 11 and a half minutes later. He wiped a sheen off his temple and hoped Bobby wouldn't notice the stark lack of logo. He made a beeline for the dryer and grabbed one of the shirts from the pile in the basket. He hastily put on the first shirt that smelled like detergent, shoving his black shirt into his bag. Crisis averted.
Upstairs, Eddie, Bobby, Hen, and Chimney were deep in conversation about the "curse" a few days ago. "At least it's not like last time." Hen was saying. "Live power pole on one truck and the other one stolen."
"That was not the fault of the "curse", just an unlucky coincidence. The q word can't jinx you, it's just a word." Eddie shook his head, shoveling hot sauce covered scrambled eggs into his mouth. Chimney and Hen shared a look that said, 'He can not be serious.'
"Mhm. Just a coincidence." Buck raised his eyebrows, bringing the attention of his colleagues to him at the top of the stairs. "You wouldn't be saying that because the curse gave you a reason to ask out Christopher's English teacher or anything, right?" Eddie was smart enough to have his mouth full by the time Buck finished, as to avoid Hen's questioning eyes, Bobby's subtle brow raise, or Chimney's blunt questions.
"Is that why you said you had other plans?" Chimney almost threw his fork on the table in mock outrage. Hen rolled her eyes at Chimney's outburst. Bobby just went back to his eggs. Eddie just nodded and finished off his eggs, wiping the excess hot sauce off his plate with his last forkful.
"Good for you, man. We did save a life, you missed out." Chimney continued, trailing off as Buck moved to get a serving of eggs. No hot sauce, extra salt, extra pepper, extra garlic powder. And cheese. Lots of cheese. By the time Buck turned around, the entire table was staring at him. Their eyes moved from Buck to each other, having an unspoken conversation.
"What?" Buck quirked an eyebrow at their expressions. Bobby had his usual glint in his eyes, Chimney looked like he was about to explode, and Hen looked completely normal. Eddie, on the other hand, was staring a hole into his empty plate. The top of his cheeks were turning crimson, but no one was looking at him.
"Nothing. Eat your eggs." Hen shook her head and changed the subject. She'd seen the looks Buck and Eddie had shared, which were too intimate to be between two people who were "just friends". Also, Buck had a habit of watching Eddie's ass as he walked by him. So did Eddie. 'Watching his back' was their excuse.
“5 vehicle accident on South Seneca.” The words echoed over the intercom and every member of the 118 ran for the trucks. The day so far hadn’t been very eventful, and everyone was a little antsy. Squirrely, to be more honest. Eddie squirmed in his seat uneasily and Chim looked like he’d swallowed a lemon. Hen kept giving him knowing and pointed glances. Buck, on the other hand, was raring to go and about catapulted out of the truck as soon as it pulled to a stop.
The scene was messy with news vans, reporters and civilians surrounding the wreckage. The wind wasn’t helping, biting everyone deep. You’d think people wouldn’t be watching a car accident with that kind of weather. Luckily the police were already backing people away, and the 118 and the 223 could get to work extricating people.
In the middle, one car was essentially crushed from 2 sides after running a red light straight into the path of the three oncoming cars, hitting another on its way to a stop. Two of the cars were crumpled like sheets of paper, another was heavily dented by the force of getting t boned. The fourth car was barely scratched, with all the damage of a fender bender. The fifth car in the middle was smashed in both directions, with the passengers side door hit head on and the back seat drivers side in the same condition. The hood was rippled and smoking fervently. It looked awful, but it would still be flooding television stations on the 6 o clock news.
“Buck, Chim, we’ll check on the far side. Hen and Eddie, ditto.” The 118 moved quickly to the far side and immediately everything else was forgotten.
“LAFD, you were in an accident. Are you in any pain?” Buck and Eddie repeated each other, receiving vastly different answers.
“My daughters are in the backseat, Sophie who’s 2 and Marisella who’s just a baby. I’m fine. Check on them.” Said Buck, Chim and Bobby’s driver.
A baby wailed in the backseat, and the other girl, a toddler, was silently staring at these strange men. Buck raced around to the passengers side door, struggling futilely with the handle.
“It’s automatic.” The driver winced, springing Chimney into action to pry off part of the door. The door slid open on the other side and Buck immediately reached in and unbuckled the toddler from her seat. She seemed relatively unhurt, save a few bruises. Buck handed her off to Bobby and crawled to the other side for the baby, wailing profusely. He unbuckled her with the grace of an uncle who had been practicing and carried her against his chest, attempting to protect her from the wind, which was only getting colder.
Chimney was not having as good of luck extricating the father. The seatbelt was cutting a deep scar in his thigh and every time any thing would move blood would trickle out from around the polyester. Chimney very carefully slid a square of gauze under the belt and simultaneously cut the belt from causing more damage. Blood quickly soaked the gauze and Chimney maneuvered another piece to soak up the blood. “Hold this, sir, please. I’m going to place a tourniquet above your hands and you should stop bleeding.”
The fathers face was turning staunch white, and Chimney but his tongue. He’d have to work fast. And he did. 5 minutes later, the father was out on a stretcher.
In the next car, Eddie and Hen were dealing with an irate woman, who kept exclaiming she would be sueing. The driver, the state of California, LA first responders, God knows who else. She seemed unhurt, but was stuck on both sides. Her drivers side door was stuck, though not intruding on her seat. The rear passengers side door was the most realistic plan to get her out. Eddie climbed through that door and Hen attempted to coax her to follow him from her place just behind the drivers door.
“Why can’t you just remove my door?” She protested and both Eddie and Hen had to force themselves not to roll their eyes or snipe back with a comment.
“Even if we did, ma’am, there is still another car blocking us from getting you out.” Hen replied calmly.
“We cannot do that until everyone is cleared from the accident scene, ma’am.” Eddie said. “ please just come this way.” He offered his hand. She only relented after a sigh so loud it seemed painful and crawled her way out the door. Not even her blouse had a stain on it.
After she was escorted to the hospital in 331’s ambulance, hen and Eddie shared a look that simply said “some people.”
“I wonder if she’ll sue.” Eddie wondered when the 118 was headed back from the scene to the station.
“I doubt it.” Bobby said somberly. His voice changed slightly for his next statement. “ everyone is stable and south Seneca is open for traffic.”
“The 6 car accident on South Seneca that occurred at 4:37 pm involved 0 fatalities and no critical injuries. South Seneca was reopened for full traffic at 6:59 pm.” Pictures cycled the screen, of the cars, the 118s ladder and various other ambulances. Then there was Buck carrying the baby Marisella. The top of his turnout was peeking over his shoulder, protecting the child from the bitter wind. But the most interesting part of the picture was the name plastered on his back.
“Good job, Diaz.” Chimney clapped his hand on A bewildered Bucks shoulder. Both Buck and Eddie were turning red starting from the tips of their ears, and neither of them would live it down.
“Were you attempting to grab my shirt or was it just a lucky grab?” Eddie leaned against the door frame at the end of shift and stared at Buck who was pulling on a hoodie.
“In your dreams, Diaz.” Buck rolled his eyes and smiled into the locker, which was not unbeknownst to Eddie.
“Just in yours. Diaz.”
“Don’t tempt me.” Buck turned to see Eddie giving him a smirk. Oh what he wouldn’t give to wipe that smirk off his face.
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