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#bug-eyed twink
tenderflint · 1 year
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steve buscemi was built to play a homo
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angelamontoo · 2 years
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Why I came to the maltese falcon:
•Gifs and images of Cairo playing with his cane and other stuff that makes him look very pretty and cool
•"When you're slapped you take it and like it"
Why I stuck around:
•Cairo spending most of the film being very composed while he looks at Spade like he wants to bludgeon him to death
•Spade in turn, seeming rather amused by Cairo
•Wilmer being angry and sad and pathetic
•Cairo and o Shaughnessys whole dynamic
•O shaughnessys efforts with Spade just..not paying off at all
•Effie calling o Shaughnessy a knockout
•Cairos ragefit and more specifically, the way he ends it by calling Gutman a fathead, making a noise like a turkey in the throes of agony and crying. Ofc you'd probably know about Joels tantrum without having seen the film if you've seen enough videos with titles like "Film noir| a retrospective" or "10 things you didn't know about Ren and Stimpy", but a 2 second clip of him going "you eeedeeot!" without context Just doesn't do his fit justice
•That thing Spade does with the the bird when he says the " The stuff that dreams are made of" line
•Gutman being awful. Tbh I think Gutmans pretty underrated. I love how much I hate that fucker. He's so gross and effortlessly cold-blooded
•The fact that Cairo is never seen getting caught or killed and potentially got off Scott-free. Tbh I find it absolutely hilarious that Spade handed o shaughnessy straight to the police while Cairo got what was at the very least a head start.
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secretkittywolf · 20 days
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Characters I'd like to see in Genshin
Hydro claymore user - Have them be HP focus or maybe DMG focus like Yelan & Xingqiu would be cool.
Electro daddy - please! We have daddy characters for the other elements (minus Anemo but I'll get to that :3) AT LEAST give us one for electro.
Pyro mommy - ARLECCHINO DOESN'T COUNT SINCE SHE'S "FATHER" AND IS BASICALLY A DADDY AND NEITHER DOES DEHYA SINCE SHE'S MORE BIG SIS OR COOL AUNT IN MY EYES!!!!!!
With that out of the way, it's most likely gonna be the Pyro Archon but it'd be nice to have one like as an example: Ei is the archon electro mommy but there is also Lisa, Yae Miko & Kujou Sara.
Cyno support - Either Dendro or Hydro element 4 star and their kit mixes well with Cyno. I saw a video on how there is no Cyno support (Nahida and others don't count) and other Cyno mains in the comments agree so that be nice to see. Plus, it help other's go for Cyno if this character exists.
Dehya support - Like Cyno, someone who's kit synergises with Dehya. Any element but preferably Anemo, Cryo or Hydro.
Make Mika a better Eula support - Give us an artifact type of weapon that makes his work with Eula. I saw a lot of fans pissed off with the fact that even at C6, you didn't really need Mika so he has become a waste of a character. By giving him something to buff him in Eula teams or buff him in general, would be great to see.
Anemo daddy - We have women and twink femboys give us a daddy pls.
Character idea for Natlan - It would be cool if a girl from Natlan is like a bug collector or a bug specialist and a good chunk of her dialogue when you get her is various bug facts or different info on types of bugs. Medium or tall in height. some facts on crystalflies, some on onikabuto, scarabs and maybe some Natlan exclusive bugs? also her special skill is locating bugs on the mini map. Like a little icon pops up letting you know which big is in the area.
Make Amber better - like Mika, give us a weapon of artifact set that'll make her good and have people use her more.
Give us a Xiangling character rival - Xiangling has no rival character and by that I mean: Sucrose VS Kazuha, Xingqiu VS Yelan. It be pretty nice to see a five star that rivals Xiangling like they don't need as much ER as she does. There really isn't any rival for her and it be nice to see that.
Free 4 star for Inazuma. Monstadt had: Kaeya, Amber, Lisa & Barbara. Liyue had Xiangling. Sumeru had Collei & Fontaine has Lynette. Maybe give us more for Liyue, Sumeru & Fontaine would also be nice. Maybe even make the pyro mommy for Inazuma 👀
Anyways those are my ideas, feel free to share some of yours!
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penig · 1 year
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So anyway, Queequeg is stuck in New Bedford. He made some decent money selling his shrunken heads (or is it “shrunken heads?” You can make one out of a coconut that’d fool a white man who wants to be horrified), but he doesn’t go to the nice, well-lit, comfortable places because...we don’t know why, but we can guess. If they don’t turn him away with cries of horror, he remembers similar places that do. The Spouter is a crappy place, but it’s full of familiar types of people and it will take his money.
But he doesn’t know anybody here, or if he does they aren’t anybody he wants to talk to. Is he shy? Or is he gun-shy? South Sea Islanders often shipped aboard whalers and other commercial vessels, and the racism that has its edges rubbed off at sea is sharp and well-honed on land. If anyone else from his neck of the woods were here, we aren’t told about it. If he had any old shipmates on hand, he wouldn’t be alone in his room.
But then he isn’t alone in his room. The landlord doesn’t warn him about that, and he gets screamed at, and then stared at, and then the lamp turns up and it’s only this bug-eyed little white twink who is clearly out of his depth even though he’s from here.
Queequeg is lonesome, and Ishmael is lonesome and depressed and has the social skills of a flounder. Ishmael desperately needs someone to look after  him. And Queequeg decides to be the one who looks after him.
These Yankee beds are too cold to sleep in all alone.
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Dark Forest Resident: Morningleaf
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Aliases / Nicknames: Denwrecker, Denwrecking Twink, Twink (derogatory),
Gender: male
Sexuality: homosexual
Family: unnamed mother, Bluesplash (father) Halfblink, Copperfur (siblings) Newtrun (former mate), many other unnamed mates
Other Relations: unnamed mentor
Clan: Testclan
Rank: warrior
Characteristics: breaks up couples for fun and for revenge, empathetic (to his friends), great hunter, denwrecking little twink, manipulative
Number of Victims: 23+
Number of Murders: 0
Murder Method: N/A
Method of Harm: homewrecking
Known Victims: Newtrun, Ridgeclaw, Slatepelt, Larchbee, Mint, Larchbee’s siblings, many unnamed queens and their mates
Victim Profile: yellow-eyed toms, Larchbee
Cause of Death: killed by Larchbee
Cautionary Tale: ??
Story:
Morningleaf was known for breaking hearts and wrecking dens. Many a queen had cried because her “darling” mate had fallen for him, but Morningleaf didn’t care.
He was focused on the real prize: Newtrun.
Newtrun was the father of Larchbee, a tom who, in the past, had tormented Morningleaf by putting bugs in his nest.
The joke was on Larchbee though, when Morningleaf successfully seduced one of his fathers, subsequently leading to the truly ugly and very public breakup of his family. Then Morningleaf had dumped Newtrun, thanked him for the entertainment, and went about his life.
Then things took a turn.
Ridgeclaw showed up first, skewered on a thorn tree with his face ripped off.
Then Slatepelt-- almost unrecognizable except for one yellow eye found in the bushes near the body.
Then Newtrun-- unbelievably still alive-- almost half-skinned, gasping for air and trying to drag himself back to camp
Morningleaf found his body on patrol with Mint and Larchbee, and had recoiled from the sight of his former mate.
Unfortunately, he recoiled right into the jaws of Larchbee.
Additional Information:
--Submission by @ambitiousauthor
--His last words were “eww!!!! I think I stepped in something!”
--Larchbee’s up next!
--He’s just a bit bigger than Fleathistle.
--He never actually liked Newtrun romantically.
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druid-for-hire · 3 years
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[image id: two images. the first is a series of expression sketches of Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls, plus one of Mabel. two of them feature Bipper, who smiles wildly, wide-eyed, and baring his gums uncomfortably wide. the second image is one of the Bipper sketches colored in. his eyes glow yellow. end id]
lately i’ve been reliving my 2014 and rewatching a ton of gravity falls episodes and old videos from youtube. did you know that back in the day i got my hands on a physical copy of journal 3 and proceeded to decode every single cipher in it by hand? i have the million post-its still between its pages to prove it
also i lost my fucking Tablet Wire so the second image was colored in with a laptop trackpad bc that’s all i had <3
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matchamabs · 3 years
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I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,
i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya
ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️
,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀
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ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 
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slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do
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ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 
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u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie
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??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?
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i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.
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,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago
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again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 
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UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die
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hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://
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trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em
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now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎
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u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/
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i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong
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here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think
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a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush
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ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔
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ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one
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ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work
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10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 
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cellard0ors · 3 years
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Fic: Movement (2/?)
Still dedicated to the wonderful @peachworthy. you read part one than you know - GMM Rhink AU - College Student Link/Pornstar Rhett AU
“Got it right again, man! You’re going to ace this test!” Rhett crows as he tosses down another notecard and Link pumps his arms in triumph. The two of them are settled in the kitchen, piles of books and notecards spread around as well as few bottles of beers and some bowls of chips.
Link picks up one chip and pops it into his mouth, grinning at his roommate fondly, “Well, couldn’t’ve done it without you, pal. You are, without a doubt, the best study buddy I’ve ever had.”
“Aw shucks, gonna make me blush,” Rhett laughs even though it’s Link who feels his cheeks actually grow warm, his friend’s laughter a common cause of the occurrence.
They’ve been living together for over a month now and it’s been beyond amazing. Link would’ve never guessed a guy like Rhett and a guy like him would work so well together.
It’s like they’re the world’s weirdest, most convoluted puzzle yet all the pieces click together to form a full picture that is nothing short of a masterpiece. True, there’s a lot about Rhett Link doesn’t know yet (and gosh is there a lot he wants to know) but their friendship is running smoothly.
Well, smoothly save for the massive crush Link has on the guy, albeit he’s doing his damned best to squash it. Yes, Rhett’s attractive and yes, he’s the first guy Link’s ever met that he’s felt a real zing for, but the fact of the matter is – Link would much rather have him as a friend and roommate than lose him as a…well, Link’s not sure if he’d lose him, but the mere possibility keeps Link’s lips sealed.
Besides, it’s okay to crush on someone and never act on it. People do it all the time. Not to mention that it’s a bit…odd to crush on someone in Rhett’s line of work. Isn’t it?
Link can’t think of too many people who will admit to crushing on an adult film star. Regular, mainstream film stars, sure – but adult film stars?
Yeah…
Although, to be frank, Link’s sure there are some that do. And, hopefully, some of them are not the creepy internet troll-y kind of people, but genuine salt of the earth folks like himself. Because, okay, he is crushing on one so…
Rhett is toying with the cards, maybe looking for the next question to quiz Link on when he asks idly, “Y’know, Link – I gotta say, I admire your stamina.”
That remarks makes Link choke on the drink he’s just been consuming, a cough clearing it up some as he croaks, “I’m-I’m sorry?”
Rhett hums noncommittally, as if not noticing the gaffe, “You’ve had yet to grill me about my job. Normally, once folks hear about it, that’s all they want to talk about.”
“Oh,” Link breathes out loosely, “Well, ah-? It-? It just…seemed rude to-to ask…”
“Been over a month living with me now. You telling me you ain’t interested?”
“I didn’t say that!” Link quips back much quicker than he would like, but Rhett just gives him the most perfect smile. All sincere and warm beneath his beard and remember, Link, you’re doing you’re best not to crush on him!
Rhett is still toying with the cards, eyelashes downcast, the very visual definition of shy as he murmurs, “Just sayin’…I don’t mind if you wanna ask some stuff.”
Link’s eyebrows rise in such a way as to damn near bump his glasses off, “Y-You sure?”
Rhett draws in a deep inhale and then sits the cards down. He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, looking quite serious even despite the casual red flannel and jeans, as if this was more of an interview (or perhaps an interrogation?) than anything else, “Shoot.”
The a million and one questions that Link has kept at bay about Rhett’s job and more personal life threaten to cave his skull in as they crash about in his mind. However, he has to go with the obvious, “Know this’ll be predictable, but…why?”
Rhett just bobs his head in an understanding nod even as Link pushes on, “Why and how?”
Rhett sucks on his teeth before picking up his own beer and taking a fortifying sip before continuing, “The two are kinda interconnected to be honest. Had a fallin’ out with my family. Think I mentioned it in passin’ to you once. But, to clarify; they weren’t too happy with my chosen living destination nor with the fact that I’d come to terms with the notion that I’m attracted to both the ladies and the gents.”
Link’s mind immediately (and joyously) clings to ‘the gents’ remark, bookmarking it for future reference, even as Rhett continues his tale, “You grew up where we did. So you get it.”
Link does. And then, to nail the point home, Rhett adds, “Probably get it a lot more than others. If my…instincts are to be believed.”
Shit.
SHIT.
Link’s whole body immediately bursts into flame, the tips of his ears so hot he’s sure they’re glowing bright red.
Rhett knows I’m gay. He knows. I thought having a radar for that kind of thing was bullhonkey, but he knows and oh, lord, oh lord – do I give off some sorta vibe? I know that girl in my screenwriting class, Stevie, she teased me about being an A-Level twink or something, but I didn’t think-!
Rhett’s laughter carves right through Link’s insecurities, “Take a breath, brother! Look like you’re about to pop!”
Link does and Rhett just shakes his head, still grinning, “Point being – I was pretty much a babe in the woods when I came to LA. Not two nickels to my name, so I took whatever gigs I could get. Managed to snag a few commercials and things of that nature, but you know the drill. Jobs are hard to come by. And a guy of my height?”
He blows out a big breath and tosses all of those luxurious curls about with a rueful head shake, “Yeah, most people fingered me for a baller, so – again – jobs were hard to come by. But then, wouldn’t you know it? A friend of a friend of a contact told me about this part they thought I’d be perfect for.”
Another deep barrel chested chuckle emerges as he reminiscences, “Mighta been nice of ‘em to let me know it was actually a part of me they thought would be perfect.”
Do not zero in on his crotch! Do NOT zero in on his crotch! Charles Lincoln Neal the Third DO NOT-!
Link keeps his eyes so steadfastly forward he probably looks like some bug eyed zombie. If Rhett notices, he doesn't comment, “Anyway, when I found out what the role was, I had planned to politely decline but, y’know, the money they offered…”
There’s an easy shrug and this Link can look at. He looks at Rhett, who looks a bit sheepish as he scratches at one side of his beard, “I mean, again, you grew up where I did. So, you know how the whole ‘wait until marriage’ thing was drilled into your head, but I figured it wasn’t like anybody would know. My family’d cut me off, my friends were few and far in between, and the people on set…”
Now he looks a bit happier and Link can’t help but smile along with him, “The people on set were all right. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the kind of stories people tend to spin – the exploitation, the drug abuse, other questionable stuff…place I was at wasn’t like that. I mean, maybe I just lucked out or something, but it was…”
Another shrug and he goes for his beer again. Link figures this is as good a time as any to get in another question, “So, you did that and then you…? Just kept going?”
Rhett nods as he drinks, the bottle leaving his mouth with an obscene pop that Link is going to do his best to forget all about right now and certainly not recall at any point in the future (and most certainly NOT when he’s jacking off later), “Yeah, I did the one and the director really liked me. He pull me aside and told me about this company he was trying to set up with a couple of buddies of his. They wanted to go in a classier direction – know how funny that sounds, but he was serious.”
“So, what? No, like, blockbuster porno knock offs? Like ‘Sex in The City and ON the City’ or ‘Arma-get-it-on’?”
“Think you stole that last one from an episode of CSI.”
“I did, doesn’t change the question.”
They’re both smiling like a couple of fools, but the mood is good and the atmosphere light as Rhett sighs, “Yeah, nothing like that. I’ve actually worked with a few female directors, shot some things with great budgets, nice lighting, good costumes…”
“Oooo, costumes,” Link teases in the silliest voice and Rhett swats out at him. Link avoids the hit even as Rhett rolls his eyes, “I’m serious, dude. Some of the things that department pumps out looks better than anything you’d see in Hollywood.”
“Hmm, some kinda wood,” Link snickers and this time Rhett’s swat makes impact, brushing Link’s shoulder and Link would be embarrassed by the giggle he lets out, if it weren’t for the way Rhett’s nose is all scrunched up, making him look beyond adorable, “You’re sucha brat!”
Link sticks out his tongue and Rhett just laughs. They turn their attention to the drinks and chips for awhile before Link circles around to another question, “You like it then?”
“It’s a living,” Rhett confirms, not really answering one way or another, “Like I said – make great money, work with some really nice people.”
“Uh,” Link scratches behind one ear, “Hate to ask, but, um…clean people?”
Rhett doesn’t seem offended, “You bet. Have to be. Another reason I’ve done this as long as I have. Money's great, but the safety is even better. I’m currently under contract with that same company I told you about – the one that director brought me under. On top of wanting to,” he air quotes his next words, “be classier’-”
He drops the quotes, “They wanted to provide an excellent work environment. Heck, me and the other actors and actresses probably have a cleaner bill of health than the entire state. Can’t shoot scene one until you’ve got the A-Okay.”
“Huh,” Link absorbs that with some surprise, but then, he supposes it really shouldn’t be. The adult film industry is a big lumbering beast right alongside it’s more recognized counterpart. No reason one shouldn’t be as cautious as the other. If anything, one has more right to be cautious.
Thinking on this, Link suddenly feels an odd pang. It’s a shame in one way that’s one viewed as more reckless than the other, more questionable. But, when viewed through a mostly puritan lens…
Not wanting to get too philosophical, Link switches gears, “You been in a lot of films?”
“My fair share.”
Another dodge, but Link will let him have it. However, he can practically feel devil horns rise as he asks with a naughty gleam to his eye, “Win any awards?”
Rhett’s practically preening, “Several.”
“Really?” Link asks with some surprise, but Rhett suddenly looks quite naughty himself. Naughty and…a bit too hot for Link’s liking as the heat that always seems to surround him when he’s near Rhett rises and woo boy, he’s really failing at this squashing-the-crush thing.
“If you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll show you one of my trophies some time…”
Everything in Link melts into a puddle and he’s not sure what expression he’s wearing, but it’s one that makes Rhett��s whole face light up, “…or maybe, just maybe, I’ll show you a little somethin’ else…”
If it’s possible for a melted puddle to also explode, then Link’s just done it. Rhett bursts into guffaws as he reaches forward and, very smoothly, pushes Link’s jaw up because Link’s jaw? It dropped. He didn’t even feel it drop.
And then, to just add more fuel to the fire, Rhett rubs the pad of his thumb along the bottom of Link’s chin, right below his lip, “Damn, son…you’re just too much for words.”
“I…”
That’s it.
That’s all that Link can offer.
Just one sound, one vowel.
Silent and stunned and Rhett draws back, looking like the cat that ate the canary as he lets him go and rises up from his seat, “Think you need a moment. I’ll be back in a bit.”
And – just like that – Rhett saunters out of the room.
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fizzychocolatemilk · 3 years
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You've Got a Friend in Me (You've Got Troubles. I've Got 'em too.) (A Bakudeku Tropetember Fic)
Another Tropetember thingy (this one is a little late though...oops). I classify this one as a fic because it surpassed 1K. This one is for day eight:  5+1 / 3+1 (Five Times + One Time). AO3 link is here. It’s slightly angsty...so beware of feels.
tw: use of the f slur, homophobia, unsupportive parents, bullying
(1.)
“You’ll always be nothing but some dumbass, lightning-bolt faggot! You should just pack up and quit the hero course now. You’re too stupid to ever make it further than some lowly sidekick position,” the boy finished his abuse before dissolving into obnoxious laughter. 
 Said boy was one of Denki’s middle school classmates. Denki had accidentally run into him because he was texting Eijirou. The boy had looked over his shoulder and seen Eiji’s name (along with a heart) and started making fun of him for being “a faggot”. Denki knew he shouldn’t take what some asshole said to heart, but the things that he said reminded Denki of other times when he had been put down similarly. Lots of people seemed to think he was an incompetent dumbass who could never do anything right unless he had help, and, while sure, he was a little slow in academics...he definitely had other skill sets that made him a kick-ass hero! That didn’t mean that it was easy to convince himself of that.
 “Denki-kun! Hi!” a voice broke Denki out of his spiral.
 Denki turned toward the voice and, low and behold, it was Izu-kun. Denki gave Izuku a weak smile and a wave as he stood tensely next to the bully.
 “Denki! Who’s this? A friend?” Izuku asked as he walked up to the two. His voice sounded dangerous, and Denki could hear the “or foe?” that came after his words. At 17, Class 3-A knew that Izuku was dangerously protective of his friends, and they all did their best not to provoke his fury in any way. Because a feral Izuku was terrifying. 
 The bully didn’t know this though, and he simply laughed before “greeting” Izuku, “Ah, guess we’ve got another faggot. Or did you not know that Lightning Dolt here was a twink?”
 Izuku’s aura darkened several degrees at the boy's statement but still he shot the boy a bright (but fake) smile, “I’ll give you three seconds to run before I fucking destroy you.”
 The boy’s face dropped and he blinked, “Uhhh...what?”
 Izuku continued to smile, “One.”
 The boy’s eyes widened in panic, “Wait, man!”
 “Two.”
 The boy started running, “We can talk about this!”
 “Three,” Izuku immediately gave chase—or he would have if Denki hadn’t given him a small shock and held him back. Izuku struggled for a second before sighing and turning to Denki, “Denki-kun, you are more than just a brainless idiot and more than just a...a...you know. You’re amazing and talented in your own right and I’m proud to call you my friend.”
 Denki blinked in surprise before blushing lightly, “Thanks, Izu. I really appreciate it.” He smiled genuinely at Izuku.
 (2.)
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Momo,” the dark-haired woman stared harshly down at her daughter, “You may feel like this now, but one day you’ll find a nice, upstanding gentleman that captures your heart. Not some...punk-rock freak-girl.”
 Momo stared down at her feet and sighed softly before replying, “Yes, mother.”
 However, as she turned to make her way into the dorms, and her mother turned to meet with the chauffeur, she heard a very familiar voice. “Excuse me, ma’am! Yaoyorozu-san! May I have a word with you?” Momo turned to see Izuku-kun coming down the dorm steps and speed walking down the lawn to meet with the two women. He had a slightly dangerous aura (someone outside of Class A wouldn’t even notice), but Momo stood rigid as her friend stood up to her mother, “Yaoyorozu-san. I think you should consider taking your daughter more seriously. 
 “You might not know me well personally, but Yaomomo-chan and I know each other very well and I would consider us good friends. She’s smart, resourceful, and talented, and I think we can both agree that she will make a fantastic hero. But Yaomomo-chan is also responsible and mature, definitely mature enough to make her own decisions about her relationship choices. 
 “My own mother is very protective of me too, but I think that part of being a parent means accepting and supporting children through their choices and the consequences of those choices (good or bad), even if they aren’t choices that you, yourself, would make. I hope that you can come to respect Yaomomo-chan’s decisions about her own future, and find comfort in the fact that I, and everyone else in Class A, will always offer her our full support. Thank you for your time.” Izuku bowed politely before turning to Momo. “Kacchan made dinner. You should come eat it before it gets cold,” he smiled before heading back inside.
 Momo’s mother looked surprised for a second before saying a quick goodbye and hurrying away. Momo smiled after her before whispering under her breath, “You are a marvelous friend, Izuku-kun.”
 (3.)
Hanta was in a rush to get to class. Usually he was pretty punctual, but today he missed his alarm so he wasn’t feeling the best. Anxious and rushed, he accidentally ran into the worst person reasonably possible.
 “Ahah, if it isn’t the plain-faced tape dispenser from Class A!” Monoma laughed, “Late to class, I see! Tsk, tsk, yet another reason Class B is superior! At the very least we’re punctual!”
 Hanta deadpanned at the slate-eyed boy, “You know you’re late too, right?”
 Monoma’s jaw dropped for a second before he regained his composure. He huffed and took another angle, “Well, at least I have a personality! You’re so boring that it’s a wonder anyone pays attention to you at all. You’re almost more invisible than the invisible girl in your class! Not to mention that you’ll probably never get a girlfriend, hah!”
 Hanta rolled his eyes, despite the pang in his heart, before maneuvering himself to speed-walk past Monoma. “I’m literally dating Shou. It’s been the hot gossip for the past few days, and you’re definitely shallow enough to keep up with the gossip mill.”
 Monoma guffawed, “How did a plain-faced peasant like you end up with someone as high class as Todoroki? It’s a wonder, isn’t it? But, of course, I’m sure you’ve been hearing that for the past few days, haven’t you?”
 Hanta knew that he shouldn’t take anything that Monoma says seriously, but he’d been hearing how “unworthy” he was of Shouto for the past few days (since their relationship became public knowledge). The scathing words got to him and it made him doubt himself a little. He sped off towards his classroom, ignoring Monoma’s jeers in the background.
 That day, during a joint training session, Izuku requested to be paired with Monoma...and maybe Izuku went a little harder than he usually did. Maybe Monoma ended up in the infirmary before class ended, but it was training so Izuku couldn’t really be blamed for accidentally injuring his classmate, could he?
 Hanta smiled as he now had an explanation for the flash of green he swore he saw out of the corner of his eye as he was rushing to class after the encounter.
 (+1.) 
Katsuki slapped Deku on the back after training. “What the fuck was that, nerd?! You fucking beat the hell outta the Copycat Freak! Why can’t you ever go that hard when we train?”
 Deku’s face flushed as he turned a blinding smile at Katsuki. Cute. Katsuki shook himself from his thoughts as Deku started talking to him. “I guess I just got really into the exercise, Kacchan!”
 Katsuki could tell that Izuku’s words weren’t the whole truth but he decided to gloss over it for now in favor of focusing on a topic that had been bugging him. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Mochi Head lately. Skimping on our training. Any specific reason, Deku?”
 Katsuki watched as Deku’s face flushed again, but this time it made a pit grow in his stomach. The pit grew as Deku stumbled over his words for a few minutes before answering, “We’ve just been helping each other study, Kacchan.” 
 “You’re fucking lying, stupid Deku,” Katsuki scoffed as his heart started cracking, tiny pieces falling into the void. “But it’s fucking fine. If you’d rather waste time with your girlfriend like a dumbass then I’ll take the number one spot all the more easily,” he said, but the words felt ashy in his mouth, empty and non-fulfilling.
 He started walking away when there was a sharp tug on his wrist. “Kacchan!” It was Deku. It was always Deku. Katsuki stopped trying to pull away, but he didn’t turn around yet. “I love you! No one else! Ochako-chan has just been helping me work through my feelings for you! She has feelings for someone else!” Katsuki turned sharply to see Deku staring intensely at him. “You are my symbol of victory. My hero. My Kacchan. It’s only ever been you, so please. Please allow me to stand by your side!”
 Katsuki sniffled before completely breaking down in tears from the emotional taxation of the last few minutes. Being the empathetic crier he is, Deku broke down with him and they held each other and sobbed. After a couple more minutes, Katsuki had pulled himself together enough to respond, “Y-yeah, dumb Deku. Keep your eyes on me.”
 Katsuki stood and extended a hand to Izuku to help him up. Izuku stared at him fondly for a split second before taking his offer. They walked back to the dorms side-by-side and hand-in-hand.
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out of eric smith and manu rios i would have preferred the former clone twink with an eye for fashion to get a career already manu rios is looking consumed, that being said, i hate faggots shitty taste in bug eyed twinks, y'all choose the exact same piece of shit looks to fawn over and vex us with for the next two years before ryan murphy runs their careers to the ground
i try to watch anything mainstream and the most soulless collection of bodies shows on the screen these ig celebrities really can't emote for shit and they're everywhere like die and bye
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apothe-scary · 3 years
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LEVI GOLDSTEIN THE VAMPIRE, FACTS MASTERPOST
Any time i have new facts ill add them here!!!
Levis physical facts
Levi is two thousand years and some change old!
He ages EXTREMELY slowly. Though bitten at age 19, he now looks 21-23 years of age at this point in his life.
Levi is six feet tall
As cute as levi is, he makes the most HORRIFIC facial expressions sometimes. Eyes a little too wide, smile too big, showing too many teeth and too much gum. Creepy smiles Bug eyed looks and wrinkled noses. He doesnt mean too, but he forgets what he looks like sometimes.
Levi is blind in one eye if you haven’t noticed! He lost it in a fight! A sword fight!
Has a really fucking weird accent i wont even attempt to write but will try to at least describe
Personal facts about levi
No one believes hes a real vampire
Loves bloody steak
Loves animals
Loves kids
Loves all things occult
Levis is old, very very old, he’s two-thousand and some change. So he can bypass some of the things younger vampires cant. He can daywalk for a few hours without protection BUT all day with protection ie: sun hat or umbrella. He can turn into mist and bats and a wolf creature. He can have his head cut off and still live. He can regenerate limbs. But things that still get him are the laws of hospitality. He must be invited, he must treat his guests with respect and feed them, water them, ya know treat them well.
Pouts when he cant go outside to look at the pretty flowers because he forgot/got it stollen his hat/umbrella.
Levi LOVES dogs! He gets one any chance he has and has an extensive record of every dog hes ever owned. When levi and svetza go out, levi is the buffer for dogs. Dogs seem to dislike svetza on some level she can not fathom. (Or some dogs at least) Dogs however flock to levi in droves and become instant babies in his presence.
Levi sleeps in a large four poster coffin bed. Its a queen sized bed shaped like a coffin with four posters, heavy light blocking curtains, and its very cozy!
Levi has family. Lots and lots of family. Hes kept a record of his entire family. He knows everyone and sends them letters and gifts on hollidays. Everyone in the family knows about levi but not exactly who and what he is and what hes about. Hes just that one really weirdly supportive uncle /cousin that shows up to familyreunions. Like the family isnt even sure how they are related but they know they are. He keeps track of marriages and births and deaths. Anytime anyone if the family needs to know their genealogy they ask weird cousin/uncle levi. Only a few memebers of the family know what he is really. Others know but dont believe. Some suspect and the others joke about it. Levis home (an old castle) is filled with family photos and such. It just fills me with joy to imagine that instead of mourning the fact that everyone you love dies while you live on as a vampire, he just sees it as an opportunity to keep track of his family and history! He even takes in family memebers when they need a place to stay. So its not uncommon for him to have random members of his super extended family living with him.
Garlic also isnt a deterrent. Garlic is just...stinky. Really really stinky. But he likes the stinky.
hes always cool to the touch so he LOVES warm stuff. Hand warmers, sunny days, warm rocks, warm people, hot drinks or foods.
But his favorite days are sunless because then he can go out without a hat and umbrella!
Levi is extra about his fashion! He wears all sorts of fashion, the man is two thousand years old and has CHOICES! Levi really loves the grungy garage punk and jock with crop top n booty shorts looks. At home he wears booty shorts and crop tops to lounge in. Sleeps in a night shirt thats really just an oversized tshirt dress he got at a thrift shop. He will wear a dress. He gives zero fucks.
Levi loves kitchy vampire shit! Novels, Movies, games, costume, Decorations, ect! He ADORES THEM! He thinks its fun and creative and likes all the lore people come up with! They even get facts right sometimes!
Levi is a dinosaur. Hes only just now gotten used to using a dial phone. Let alone a cellphone. Help him. He still uses a rotary phone for gods sake
Levi owns several properties he rents out to people. Its where he makes most of his money.
Levis birth certificate year has to be refreshed every thirty years to stay current. But all the other facts stay the same. Parents, where he was born etc. He knows people who can make him new proper legal documents so he can fly under the radar.
Levis Religious facts
Holy items dont work on him at all! Especially crosses because “Oh yes, a jewish man hung on a torture device would be PLEASED to see them used to symbolize peace and love. And then bless it as a holy item.” Like get real, its a torture device, a symbol of death and malicious intent and not a holy symbol. (To him)
He doesn’t consider himself evil or unholy. So that has some impact on why the items don’t work.
The boy sports a star of david all the time because...jewish.
He also reads his torah and other holy books like a good boy.
Levis professional medical facts
He drinks peoples blood to find out what ails them! Then perscribes them the proper medicine!
being a medical professional he convinces people to donate blood! He uses half of them for his patients.
Levi is able to smell girls on their periods but politely says NOTHING
Levi runs several small medical clinics/apothecary shops where he hires local medical practitioners as employees. (They deal with all the new fangled fancy equipment)
Levis personal medical facts
Levi is two thousand years and some change old!
Also as he is a medical professional he knows hes being rediculous but he doesn’t care. Levi takes iron pills because of his iron deficiency from his vampirism. But he hates taking the horse pills so he Makes bloodshakes with red fruits or veggies to hide the fact hes drinking blood and everyone just assumes its red for the ✨ aesthetic ✨
Direct sunlight after a few hours gives him a WICKED sunburn
Blood transfusions work as well. He actually keeps half of all blood transfusions for himself!
Levi is blind in one eye! He lost it in a sword-fight! Why it hasn’t regenerated is beyond him.
Levi au facts
Ouran highschool Host club
Ok but levi being in the host club would be kinda perfect for him. Hes a goofy, sweet, caring, drama loving, tall (six feet is tallish) pretty, twink boy. Hed fit right in.
People refer to levi as the vampire prince. He isnt sure why but it seems to make them happy so he just lets it be.
Loves occult stuff
Loves kids
Levi is on iron pills for his iron deficiency. But Levi refusing to take his iron pills because they are HORSE PILLS (aka huge af) He hates taking the horse pills so his friend crush them up and put them in his bloodshakes, blood pudding and sausage for him to eat/drink.
His friends know damn well he can swallow his pills (though he insists he can not) because they have seen him jokingly deep throat bananas and swallow hotdogs whole. But they just roll with it and crush them into his food and drink.
Levi Makes bloodshakes with red fruits or veggies to hide the fact hes drinking blood and everyone just assumes its red for the ✨ aesthetic ✨
Blood transfusions are also be a thing he does in rare extreme cases
Levi is a dinosaur. Despite only being 19. Hes only just now gotten used to using a dial phone. Let alone a cellphone. Help him. He still uses a rotary phone for gods sake
Levi sleeps in a large four poster coffin bed. Its a queen sized bed shaped like a coffin with four posters, heavy light blocking curtains, and its very cozy!
Levi lives with family friends who live in a castle!
Loves bloody steaks
Also cant be in direct sunlight for long due to also having sun sickness, so he wears a big hat and carries an umbrella all the time.
Pouts when he cant go outside to look at the pretty flowers because he forgot/got it stollen his hat/umbrella.
No one believes hes a real vampire
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cherryeol04 · 4 years
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The Firsts
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Summary: No one ever told him that living was going to be so difficult. That there would emotions get couldn’t label and distinguish. He’s just a young boy trying to navigate through life and its unexpected ups and downs.
Genre: Humor, Fluff, smut(?)
Pairings: Oc x Felix, Oc x Changbin, Changbin x Oc x Felix
Warnings: poly relationship, angst in some part, excessive fighting about the MCU.
Parts: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16/ Part 17
A/N: This story has a theme of Firsts. First love, first kiss and many other firsts. Each part can be read on their own and are meant to stand as oneshots. It’s basically a collection of oneshots (little snapshots into my Oc’s life. 😁)
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“The fact you took them back.” Minho grumbled as he sat across from Aiden, eyeing the other who was trying his hardest to hide himself behind Seungmin. “We spent three hours listening to you cry! Do you know how much that hurt hyung, Aiden? I care about you and I don’t want you to be hurt again. I can’t bear to see you go through that again.” He scolded and Aiden whined. 
“I know it’s just -“
“What bullshit did they feed you?” Minho asked. 
“It wasn’t bullshit.” Aiden whispered.
“Hyung.” Hyunjin spoke up, staring at Minho. “I know I came in after all this happened, but scolding him isn’t going to help the situation. I’m sure he has his reasons for accepting their apology and proposal. We should be supportive.” 
“I agree with Jinnie.” Seungmin nodded. “Besides, I saw them trying to make things better. Aiden just was too into his feels to notice. Whatever happened happened. It happened the way it did and now they’re trying to fix it. If it means less strain in the group, who are we to stop it?”
“But what if something happens again?” Minho protested, dropping his sandwich back on his plate and reached out, taking Aiden’s hand gently. “You know I’m not really mad or anything. I just worry about you. I was there from the start of your relationship with Felix until now. I just want -“
“And I appreciate you, hyung.” Aiden interrupted with a smile. “I really do. And I know you’re just looking out for me but I have to try this. I still love him. Both of them and if I don’t I’ll just be miserable for the rest of my life - always wondering about ‘what if’.” He said and pouted. “And if I’m wrong, then I’m wrong and I get hurt. But I’ll have learned then, and work to keep myself protected and try harder to find someone who will love me for all I am.”
“Aiden, stop trying to be such an adult. I miss the hyperactive brat you really are.” He chuckled softly. Smiling, Aiden shook hid head.
“Silly. I’ll be back to my normal self soon. I just wanted to tell you guys what happened before you like accidentally discover it. I think it was the better decision.”
“It was. Thank you for being honest with us.” Hyunjin smiled at him. “And I hope you three are happy for a while, okay?”
“Thanks. That means so much to me.”
“Alright, enough with the sappiness though. I would like to eat my lunch and not puke.” Seungmin teased, pulling laughs from the others as they went back to eating. 
———
“And I told Mr. Jung that there is just no way I can compose four songs last minute like this!” Chan grumbled as he stared at his computer. “I mean I could do one or two by Friday, but I can’t do four.”
“I told you he was crazy, why didn’t you listen to me?” Woojin asked as he eyed the younger male with a smirk. 
“Listen mom -“
“Damn, if this is what university life is like, I don’t want to graduate.” Jisung pouted from his spot on the floor, back pressed against the couch. His history textbook laying open in his lap. “High school is supposed to be easy too!”
“Ah, I miss the good old days.” Woojin mused with a soft sigh. 
“It was literally last year.” Minho scoffed with a laugh. “Stop trying to age yourself.”
“Back in my day I had to walk down the halls with all my books in my hands. None of this new-fangled technology of lockers like you youngins have.” Chan spoke, voiced pitched in his playful teasing. 
“Grandpa!” Felix cheered and laughed harder when Chan smacked his fellow Aussie in the chest with a pillow. 
“Siri, how do you time travel?” Changbin asked as he held up his phone, the others laughing along with him. 
“I need new friends.” Chan groaned and rubbed his nose with the palm of his hand. 
“Sorry hyung, already tried that and they’re still here.” Aiden teased as he looked up from his notebook. “But you wouldn’t have us any other way.”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.” Chan grunted and sighed. “But no seriously, how the hell am I suppose to make 4 songs?” He asked. 
“I can help if you want.” Changbin offered. 
“Oh me too!” Jisung jumped in. “Just got a really high score in production class. I’m like a genius. I got you hyung.”
“Genius? In who’s world?” Seungmin asked, brow raised. 
“In my world, duh.”
“I beg to differ.” Seungmin scoffed. 
“Only if you call me daddy.” Jisung smirked and Aiden choked on his water, coughing harshly as he smacked his chest quickly. 
“Ji! You can’t be saying that stuff around the virgin!” Minho poked at Aiden. “His poor heart can’t take your sinful tongue.” There was a beat of silence before Minho continued. “But I can.” He smirked. 
“Jesus!” Aiden hissed as he coughed again. “Can we not have this sexual talk in my Christian server? Thank you!” He pouted. 
“You would think, a man with two boyfriends wouldn’t still be a virgin.” Woojin mused. 
“Back in my days, whores just ran about flashing every Tom, Dick, and Harry they saw.” Chan joked. 
“Sometimes it was a Harry dick.” Woojin added and laughed as Aiden smacked his head on the table.
“I need new friends!” Aiden whined loudly. 
“Sucks to be you kid.” Chan smirked and shook his head. “Now, about my song production.”
———
Aiden whined as he laid back in the bed, staring up at the off white ceiling of Felix’s bedroom. The room silent, save for his soft breathing and he allowed himself to fall into the thoughts that were running over a million miles a minute. It was only a single thought, one comment that had been said that was really bugging him. 
“You would think, a man with two boyfriend wouldn’t still be a virgin.”
Was it bad he was still a virgin? Was Felix still one? Changbin even? He was pretty sure that Minho had been with Seungmin at one point and now was probably chasing Jisung’s tail. Said friend most likely wasn’t a virgin from all the tales he had told Aiden about the women he had dated back at his old school in Malaysia. 
He couldn’t be too sure about Chan or Woojin. A part of him was thinking that they were dating based on their behavior, but a part of him wasn’t entirely sure they were both gay or simply had interest in guys. And Hyunjin was a mystery to him. The little twink acted both experienced and shy and he couldn’t even decipher what was an act and what wasn’t. 
It worried Aiden. He could very possibly be the only virgin in his friend group and it seemed wrong. It’s not like he needed to have sex in order for his friends to accept him, they already did - at least he thought. It was just something about the way they teased him and Aiden wasn’t stupid. He knew they meant no harm by their words, it was all in good jest. But it was still an insecurity he had. 
Being inexperienced. And now it seemed that maybe he was the only inexperienced person in the group and it worried him. His mind drifted off to thoughts of Felix and Changbin, and what would happen when it came to that time for them to be intimate. How would he able to handle it? He could barely reciprocate the moves Changbin had used on him a while ago, he certainly wouldn’t be able to survive now that there were two of them. And what if he sucked? 
What if he couldn’t figure out how to touch Felix the right way? Or make Changbin moan? What if he couldn’t get either of them off and they were left hard and wanting - disappointed in his lack of ability?
He sighed and lifted his phone up, finger pressing and holding down the lock button until the screen flashed. “Siri, where is the nearest cliff I can yeet off of?”
“Okay, here is what I found.”
Aiden’s nose scrunched up as he read the results for the nearest Cliff’s Restaurant that he could eat off of. 
“Good job, Siri. I knew I could count on you.” He sighed. 
“Oh god, Binnie it’s worse than we thought, he’s started talking to himself.” Aiden lifted his head and watched as Felix and Changbin walked into the room, arms filled with snacks and drinks for their movie marathon. 
“I knew we shouldn’t have left him alone.” Changbin tasked. 
“I should have offered him my pet rock. He’s a great listener.”
Changbin paused and stared at Felix with concern. “Right.” He said slowly and gave a nod. “Okay so I’m dating two psychopaths.”
“Hey!”
“Hey!”
“Oh, that’s creepy. They’re even in sync. Minho warned me about you crazy people.”
“Oh my god, shut up!” Aiden tossed a pillow at him, laughing as it struck Changbin in the face. “Asshole, you know you love us.”
“I never said I didn’t.” Changbin countered as he kicked the pillow back towards the bed and walked over, setting the various cans and bottles of drinks on the nightstand. Sitting up in the bed, Aiden crossed his legs as he leaned over and looked at each label. 
“Alright, we got drinks. We got snacks. I got Black Panther queued in the DVD player, are we ready for a bomb ass movie night?” Felix asked. 
“You’re way too excited for this." Changbin laughed as he took a seat next to Aiden on the bed. 
“Black Panther is my favorite MCU movie, don’t hate.” Felix pouted as he grabbed the remote and jumped onto the bed, getting the DVD screen up on his tv.
“No hate.” Changbin hummed and smirked. “Isn’t there a legend about having sex after watching Black Panther?” He asked.
Aiden could feel his pulse start pounding as he stared at Changbin. There he was being so cheeky, trying to look innocent but his smirk was anything but. “I do not recall any legend. I believe that once we watch Black Panther then we can have cuddle sessions anywhere we want. A better achievement to unlock.” He said quickly. 
Felix laughed at that and shook his head. “We can stop with this whole ‘watching marvel movies leads to something’ joke. Really, at this point, we shouldn’t base our relationship off of watching the MCU.”
“Oh lord, Felix is going to be profound again. Something about moving at our pace and being intimate when we’re ready. And blah blah blah.” Changbin rambled on and Felix pouted. “On the nose right?”
“I hate when you do that.” Felix whined and sighed before looking to Aiden. “But he’s right. Relax babe, we won’t do anything you’re not ready for.”
“W-What?! Why do you think it’s me?” He squealed our indignantly. They both gave him a pointed look and he flushed, looking away quickly. 
“Because you’re the shy one.” Changbin cooed and reached out, pinching Aiden’s cheek gently. “I remember when you got so pouty when you couldn’t even touch my dick, and then you made such a mess.”
“Stop!” Aiden whined and pushed his hand away, smacking Changbin’s arm lightly. “That was so long ago.”
“It was. Wouldn’t mind doing it again honestly.” 
“I wouldn’t mind watching either.” Felix grinned. 
Aiden honestly wasn't sure what to say or do in that moment. Being reminded of the time he jerked off with Changbin had brought back a lot of memories and feelings that he really hadn't allowed himself to feel in a while. He could still see Changbin's face, clear as day when the other told him to cum - that thought alone sending a shiver down his spine. Did he want to do stuff with them? Of course he did. And really he was the only one holding himself back from enjoying the company of his two boyfriends - from experiencing whatever pleasure the two could bring him. He needed to get over himself, and just let loose. But it was hard, so very hard. Especially when is insecurity of being inexperienced was one of the reasons he thought Felix had cheated on him and was going to break up with him. He had been wrong, but that didn't ease any of his feelings. It only seemed to intensify them. 
Aiden hadn't notice Changbin moving until he felt the broad, strong chest pressing against his back. Muscular arms wrapped around his waist, and had Changbin's arms always been that bulky and sexy? Since when had his best friend started working out? Last he remembered, he could barely get Changbin out of his bed to walk down the stairs to get food on some days. When did he find the energy to actually go to a gym and work out? "You know we won't force you, right?" Changbin's voice was soft, words so gentle as his lips grazed Aiden's ear and embarrassingly he whimpered. "It doesn't matter if we have sex now, next week or three years from now." he continued, fingers gently rubbing against the flat plane of his abdomen soothingly. It didn't actually help in any way to relax him and Aiden found himself even tenser than he had been just being lost in his own head. "It's not important. What is important is that you feel comfortable with us - with doing simple things." he said as he rested his chin on Aiden's shoulder gently. 
"I know." A whisper, barely audible and Aiden hated himself for sounding so timid at the moment. "I just don't want to disappoint you."
"How can you disappoint us?" Felix asked, brow raised. "Where in your mind did you come up with such a ridiculous thought?" 
"It's not ridiculous!" Aiden argued and pouted. "You both are so experienced and I'm not. Hell, I avoided kissing you for like a whole week and half because I was scared I would suck at it!" he confessed, cheeks heating up at the memories of his flailing about Changbin's home and crying to Minho and Seungmin because he just couldn't get up the courage to kiss Felix and was too afraid that if he let his guard down and Felix kissed him, the other would leave him. 
"Who says we're experienced?" Felix asked with a snort. "Really Aiden? Is that what you've been thinking this whole time?" he asked.
"Well, yeah." Aiden whispered, eyes lowering as he stared at his lap, focusing on picking at the skin of his thumb, rather than the intense burn of his boyfriend's eyes on him. "Aren't you?"
Changbin laughed at that and Aiden knew he didn't mean to be hurtful in his laughter, but it did still hurt because he was laughing at him. At his apparently stupid thought process - not that he didn't agree, it was pretty stupid when he said his thoughts out loud. "No!" he spoke through his chuckles. Aiden could feel the rumble of Changbin's deep laughter through his chest, shaking Aiden to his core and for a moment he simply got lost in the feeling and the closeness. But when Changbin started talking again, he was pulled from his thoughts and forced himself to focus on the words being spoken. "I've kissed someone before, yeah. But I'm not experienced in anything. I jack off a lot, so does that give me experience in hand jobs?" he asked 
"Well, I mean... maybe?" Aiden asked curiously.
"Then that means you're experienced too." Changbin pointed out. "But I haven't done anything else, with anyone, including Felix." Changbin lifted his gaze from Aiden to look at the blonde male sitting in front of them. Felix nodded his head, a soft sigh leaving his lips
"I haven't done anything either." Felix confessed. "You were my first kiss Aiden." Aiden felt his eyes widen impossibly large at the admission. He honestly hadn't thought he was Felix's first kiss. The other seemed to experienced in what they were doing - how their lips moved and the right amount of pressure to put to keep a kiss soft or maybe to make it a little more heated.
"But I thought-"
"That's the thing, baby. You thought, you never asked." Changbin cut him off, lips pressing lightly to Aiden's cheek. "You sit there and worry about being inexperienced, thinking the rest of us have so much experience that there is no way we could possibly want you, but we're just as inexperienced as you are." he told him. "And that's okay because like Felix said before, it's okay to be inexperienced. It's what life is about, going through the unknown and learning...together."  Aiden could feel himself pouting, brows drawn together as he did his best to will the tears from welling up in his eyes. He remembered Felix saying that on the night of the confession in the Ferris Wheel. He just never thought they meant it, or what it actually meant for them.
But now it was different. He was being told he wasn't alone in being inexperienced. The people he thought who were experienced, weren't and for some reason, that made everything seem okay. Because he wasn't going to be embarrassing himself or being compared to a past relationship. Everything was fresh and new for them. 
And maybe that's all Aiden had needed to know from the very start.
"I want to." he whispered, lifting his gaze to meet Felix's eyes and then turned his head to stare at Changbin.
"Want to what?" Felix asked gently. 
"Have sex. I want to, I'm just scared." He felt Changbin's arms tighten around him, pulling him back closer as he nuzzled his neck gently. 
"It's okay. We can do it when you're ready, baby. There's nothing to be scared about okay?"  Aiden nodded his head slowly, letting out a soft exhale as he relaxed fully against Changbin. Lifting his arms, he held them out towards Felix, smiling as the Australian crawled into his lap and laid against him, cuddling into his chest. Aiden wrapped his arms around Felix and sighed contently, eyes closing as he enjoyed the warmth the closeness brought to him. Aiden watched as Felix grabbed the remote for his DVD player once more and started the movie, the three of them falling into a comfortable silence as they were sucked into wonders of Black Panther. The worries and fears that had plagued Aiden's mind for almost year were finally eased, assured that his two boyfriends would take their time with him and not rush him and he was sure they would make their first time together - whenever that may be - memorable. And for that, he was so thankful to have them in his life.
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codsona-moved · 5 years
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roach....what a name
[rubs hands together] ah yes, the man, the myth, the bug
How I feel about this character
We don't know a lot about him other than that he like...exists...so all the info I have about him lives in my woman brain. I like him!
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Uhhh I don't normally ship Roach with anybody but Ghost/Roach has cute content potential.
My non-romantic OTP for this character
Soap and Price are Dads. Bros.
My unpopular opinion about this character
This is mostly fandom related but I'm sooooo tired of blonde green eyed twink Roach. I'm just tired of wonderbread Roach in general please I promise you just because he's British don't mean he has to be white and twinkish I promise it's okay to have HOC (headcanons of color).
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Let him live so we can get a SNIFF of lore please for the love of God. It would be like me to have a major inclination towards characterization and then get into a franchise where everything presented to us in canon can fit into an index card.
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gravecounselor · 6 years
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Here are my universe C Dirkjake headcanons nobody asked for
JAKE ENGLISH:
-Hairy Angry twink bi
-impulse issues
-hyper focoused on his friends opinions of him
-will do almost anything on a dare
-ready to throw down whenthefuckever
-100lbs soaking wet
-shy about his cleft chin/dumb teeth/scar, and does not understand how fucking charming he is
-dog AND cat person, let him to your house party and your pet will surely forsake you
-Loves Dirk Strider and will not fucking hesitate to whine for dirks help with anything/everything, simply for an excuse to bug him in some cases
-bright eyed and full of wonder about pretty much everything since he only knows about things through movie osmosis
DIRK STRIDER:
-CyberPunk Jock gay
-Less likely to throw down than Jake, but twice as likely to cause serious harm
-King of cuddles, king of muckles, loves To Touch
-Reads gay fanfic before bed, does not sleep easily, will read a 20k fic at 1am without blinking
-has a workout schedule and if you throw him off it; thats it. Whole day is ruined, whole day is a throw away day. Jake, grab your shit, were going to lizardland disney world
-hates the word/colour peuce
-Loves Jake English, never stops thinking of ways to help him get out his scrappy impulses in a safe and fun way
-Eventually lets Jake get a dog despite hating animal hair on his clothes. They adopt a black poodle and name her Athena
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
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kudos to every artist that draws me with that terrifying bug-eyed stare with those piercing amber eyes. kudos to every artist that draws me really fucking angry. gimme the gross, epitaph-level snarls and wide eyes. kudos to every artist that makes me, worlds angriest twink, look like as big of the force of nature i could be. you make me so emotional, i love u all.
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