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starlightsinger32 · 2 years

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Speeding Bullet Wedding Headcanons

I said I would describe what I envision Sniper and Scout's wedding to look like since their one in 'Marry You?' isn't ideal...so here ya go!

Who proposed? Neither, really. They'd been together for years, and are just kinda talking about that, when Scout jokes that they should get married. He laughs, but Sniper's like "Okay" and Scout's like "Okay" and that's it, they're engaged.

Parent's reaction: Scout's Ma is thrilled, she loves Sniper because he's polite and good to Scout and tries to keep him out of trouble (she knows what they and Spy do for a living ;)). Spy, obviously, hates the idea at first and tries to bully each of them into giving up the other until Scout's Ma basically slaps him upside the head and tells him to back off. Then he begrudging accepts it, in public at least.

Sniper's adoptive parents are happy for him, not as happy as Scout's ma since they don't really know Scout, but he behaves himself once they fly in from Australia, and they decide they like him. Besides, considering how reclusive Sniper had always seemed to them, they didn't think he would even make a close friend, let alone get married, so they're honestly just relieved. (They don't know exactly what Scout does beyond 'assassin' since 'bashes skulls in' probably wouldn't go over well.) And they do love Sniper, so they're happy that he's happy and Scout seems to open him up a bit.

Teammates Reactions:

-Engineer: Genuinely happy; he wondered if it would ever happen and knows that they will be good together

-Pyro: Also happy, but in a more childlike way. Shows their excitement with a lot of hugging

-Soldier: Boisterous excitement, along with a lot of somewhat inappropriate and confusing advice (he and Zhanna are married at this point)

-Demoman: ANOTHER EXCUSE TO PARTY/DRINK! (not that he needs one)

-Heavy: Quietly supportive. He doesn't go on and on about them getting married, but is glad it is happening, partially because he hopes that Medic seeing others getting married will make him more receptive to the idea

-Medic: Outwardly is happy for them, but internally doesn't really care, unless they're willing to let him help them have biological children (cough cough uterus implant cough). Also internally is a little nervous about going since he knows that Heavy wants to get married, but he's uncomfortable with giving up some control in his life and needing to consider another person.

When and Where does it happen? Early Autumn in Massachusetts is absolutely gorgeous, so late September to early October. Sniper is fine with not having it in Australia, it makes more sense to bring his parents over then fly everyone else to Australia. Besides, they go there for the honeymoon and get into exactly the kind of trouble you'd expect from them in the outback ;) Where exactly I'm not sure, but not in the city, somewhere in the forest, maybe by a lake. A lot of the guests are criminals, so they have to be discreet anyways.

Who's invited? Sniper's adoptive parents and aunt (mom's sister), Scout's Ma and brothers and their families, all of the mercs and a plus one if they want (provided they won't cause a shitshow), and Miss Pauling (she's so busy she doesn't have a plus one but the guys are glad to see her). Heavy and Medic come together, Spy comes with Scout's Ma, Engineer brings his wife, Mary, but not their adult children, Solider brings Zhanna, and Demo brings his mother (which is so freaking cute). Pyro's content to come alone, and sits with Miss Pauling during the ceremony.

Planning the Wedding: Sniper and Scout are simple guys who know literally nothing about planning a wedding. Scout can't seem to focus on just one component and keeps getting distracted/excited, and Sniper's even less help because he can't make a decision about wedding stuff to save his life and just goes along with Scout, except when it's stupid or dangerous. So the two of them end up getting a lot of help, mostly from the women in their lives, and it turns out there's a lot of things involved that they didn't even know about. Spy helps too, but he and Scout get into a lot of fights because he can't help but be condescending about their incompetance.

What does the wedding look like? Even though our boys have decent money, the weddings not very high budget, considering the low guest number. Sniper doesn't want a large wedding, and Scout understands because he knows Sniper doesn't enjoy attention or large groups. A lot of the decoration is actually the forest they get married in, since it's autumn and the orange and red leaves are absolutely gorgeous. The 'colour scheme' if there even is one is red, and a bit of white, as a nod to the RED team and also blood, since they were both covered with it when they really met each other. They don't tell people that though. The guests sit on white chairs during the ceremony, and Sniper and Scout just stand in front of the lake or a really beautiful tree when they get married, they don't need anything else.

The reception is in the same location, and frankly, most of their budget is spent on food and alcohol. It isn't fancy, the menu is basically made up of whatever foods Scout and Sniper like, plus basic things like salad, garlic bread (unteleported), pasta salad, etc. The cake isn't fancy either, but it is huge. It's chocolate, because screw tradition, they both love chocolate, although Scout would eat any kind of cake, though they might have raspberry filling added to it or something. For drinks there is water, soft drinks, beer, wine, tequila, vodka, and whiskey. There isn't an open bar until the kids leave though...because yeah.

When it gets dark, there are strings of lights wound through the trees over the tables, the kind that are in individual jars. Scout doesn't tell Sniper about this, so when he sees them, he freezes for a second, but ends up thinking it's hilarious. There are no flowers on the tables, both Scout and Sniper have no interest in them, instead they have small candles in wooden frames. (And a couple fire extinguishers under the table in case Pyro gets carried away) There is a seating plan, so no one riles each other up too much or tells the non-mercenary guests too much about their jobs (so Soldier, Pyro, and possibly Demo; the rest can lie convincingly). The meal is buffet style, they do have the food delivered, but then transport it into the forest themselves, and serve themselves. Again, the mercs make sure the kids and ladies have enough to eat before really going to town on the food, since Heavy, Demo, Soldier and Scout have huge appetites.

Highlights from the actual wedding:

-The mercs were told not to bring weapons, but everyone did anyways, including Sniper and Scout. They want to protect each other, so sue 'em. They do try to hide the weapons, so Sasha ends up in a bass violin case that Heavy insists on carrying with him.

-A LOT of people cry during the ceremony, including Scout's Ma, Sniper's mom, Miss Pauling (but just a little), and Soldier (loudly). This happens again when Scout's oldest brother who died in WW2 is mentioned later during the reception.

-They do not hire a photographer, but several people, including Pyro, bring cameras. Scout's nieces and nephews figure out pretty quickly that although Scout loves having his picture taken, their new uncle does not, so they make a game out of sneaking up on Sniper and taking pictures until he spots them. They actually get some good candid shots this way.

- Sniper and Scout walk down the aisle together, like in Marry You?, except they do it because they want be together, not because they are nervous. They also do it so neither of them can be called 'The Bride', but since Scout is smaller and shorter than Sniper, he gets called that all night regardless.

-Scout shoves cake into Sniper's face. Sniper is like "You little bugger" and shoves A LOT more into his face. Scout laughs and they kiss despite having cake all over their lower faces

-Despite not planning speeches, speeches happen because drunk people (or tipsy anyways) are more comfortable public speaking. The parents are cute (except Spy who is vaguely threatening towards Sniper), Scout's brothers do their best to embarrass him, and the other mercenaries range from genuine to borderline inappropriate. Demo gets cut off by his mother, who drags him back to his seat and starts scolding him after one too many gay sex jokes.

-Some of Scout's family takes the kids home once it gets dark and the food is mostly gone. The parents leave too, except Spy who stays to keep and eye on things. Then all the alcohol comes out and everybody gets slammed. Dancing wasn't planned either, but it happens. The drunk Kazotsky Kick danced by both those who do and don't know how is a thing of beauty.

-At one point during the night, Scout looks at Sniper, who's a distance away and tells Engineer, Medic, and Miss Pauling, in total seriousness: "I'd hit that." His reaction when they tell him that he already has, and they're married now is so excited and wholesome...until he goes over to Sniper and they start making out right there.

-Demoman ends up sneaking in fireworks, which he sets off towards the end of the night. Some of the non-mercanaries are concerned about his alcohol level, but the team tells them that this is the most sober he has ever been around explosives. The loud noise and explosions prompt the mercenaries to shoot off a few rounds into the air because firepower is a must at a Team Fortress wedding, and that's how they celebrate

-Everyone is way too drunk to go anywhere that night, but the next morning Scout and Sniper leave in Sniper's camper with a LOT of alcohol cans tied to the back. They have to remove some sort of rocket attached to the back, most likely by Soldier and Zhanna. The honeymoon is the longest Sniper has EVER taken off of work, but it's worth it to him just so he can stay in bed with Scout all morning

What did I miss? If you want to know any other parts of the wedding, use my Ask Me Anything or comment!

#sniperscout #speeding bullet #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #speedingbullet #wedding #tf2 wedding #tf2

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