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sluttyhenley · 2 years

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you know what they say about texas

listen so this has been living as a vague idea in my head ever since i changed my header to the sign in the diaz kitchen from eddie begins but i kept it to myself until this happened and my brain wouldn’t shut up about it.

i thought this was going to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever written but somewhere about halfway through it got kind of serious

anyway this is eddie accidentally comes out to the 118 with a movie reference and that’s really about all I can say about it. (also i cannot stress this enough, this is not spec fic, even though technically it happens sometime around 5 x17 and 5 x18)

~1.4k | Teen | Read on AO3

Eddie hasn't been back at the 118 for very long, but he’s already fallen into the old easy rapport with his teammates. Even Lucy, still there for the foreseeable future, is easy enough to get along with. After a rocky start that Eddie has heard almost nothing about, she seems to have settled in well enough. She doesn’t fit in quite as easily with the rest of them, and Eddie’s still getting used to her, but she hasn’t changed the dynamic so drastically that things are weird.

They’re all out at a bar, letting off some steam after a long couple of days on and Eddie’s missed it, missed being part of the team, missed spending his time with them, working with them. All of this to say: that’s probably why Eddie’s guard is down enough for him to say what he says.

Somehow the conversation has gotten around to the topic of attractive people. He doesn’t really remember if Ravi started it or Lucy did but they’ve been egging each other on, with Buck occasionally chiming in. It’s reminiscent of the discussions they’ve had around the annual firefighters’ calendar. Lucy says something about The Mummy and realizations and he finds himself speaking without really thinking.

“Oh yeah, I had a crush on Brendan Fraser in The Mummy.” Suddenly everyone is staring at him and he plays back what he just said in his head and oh right, he never actually told anyone he’s maybe less straight than previously assumed.

He looks around the table. Hen’s eyebrows are raised, Buck is frowning at him, and everyone else is looking at him with some degree of surprise.

“Wait, are you saying…” Hen trails off, giving him a meaningful look.

“Well, you know what they say about Texas,” Eddie replies, trying to make a joke of it, because that seems easier than just saying hey guys, turns out I’m bi. He can see Chimney make the connection.

“Everything’s bigger?” Buck’s frown has turned into a look of confusion.

Eddie kind of wants to drop his head on the table but it’s a little sticky and that probably wouldn’t help him anyway. There’s no such thing as secrets with this group and he’s been meaning to tell them anyway. Hiding isn’t going to help him. But he also really doesn’t want to think about what Buck maybe just implied about him. He already feels like he’s losing his mind.

“No– I mean, yes, but not that,” Eddie replies. Hen’s eyebrows are getting higher somehow and he knows Chimney gets exactly what he means but he refuses to help. Eddie can’t make himself look at Ravi or Lucy. “You know,” he gestures vaguely, “there are two things that come from Texas?”

Chimney finally breaks, groaning. “I can’t believe you’re going with that.”

“I feel like I’m missing something,” Buck says. He’s got a little frown on his face and his head is tilted slightly, like he has absolutely no clue what Eddie’s saying.

“Only steers and queers come from Texas,” Chimney says in a bad R. Lee Ermey impression. “Which one are you?”

Eddie is seriously reconsidering his decision to not drop his head on the table. He would really prefer not to be looking at his friends and coworkers during this conversation. He’d actually rather not be having this conversation at all.

“Well, I’m not a cow,” Eddie finally says, strained. He is, after all, the one that started this.

He remembers not watching it with his dad exactly, but being in the same room while his dad watched the film. He thinks, now that he’s older and has served two tours in Afghanistan, that his dad kind of missed the point. Probably a lot of people miss the point of the film, the same way they miss the point of “Born in the U.S.A.”

“Didn’t that guy on the Dallas Stars come out using that quote?” Lucy asks.

Eddie looks at her. He hadn’t expected that from Lucy at all. “Uh, sort of? I think he kind of walked it back later, but yeah, he tweeted that.”

“Wait,” Buck interjects. “Back up. Did you seriously just come out by telling us you’re not a cow?”

“I– yes?” When Buck puts it like that it sounds even more ridiculous than it feels, which says a lot because he already feels incredibly ridiculous. If only he could rewind back to about ten minutes ago when he hadn’t admitted to having a crush on Brendan Fraser in The Mummy when he was younger.

“I’ve heard the quote before but what’s the reference?” Hen asks.

“Full Metal Jacket,” Chim replies. “It’s about the pointlessness of war and the psychological horror of basic training. Standard stuff. Oh, and there’s an incredibly racist portrayal of a Vietnamese prostitute.”

Eddie hopes the conversation can move past him now and maybe past Full Metal Jacket entirely. He doesn’t need to watch a movie to know that war is pointless and even basic training fucks people up. He lived it.

“Hey,” Hen says quietly enough that only Eddie hears her. “I’m proud of you.” She lays a hand on his arm. “I mean, it’s not exactly a typical way to come out, but still.”

His smile feels a little small and shaky as he looks at her. “Thanks, Hen.”

The conversation does move on after that. There’s no more talk of Full Metal Jacket, or Eddie’s sexuality, or celebrity crushes. Eddie no longer has the urge to disappear into the ground or drop his head on the table.

Hen and Chim don’t stay very much longer, both begging off to go home to spend time with their families. Lucy finds someone at the bar to flirt with, and then Ravi gets a text from one of his roommates and goes to meet up with them somewhere else. Which, of course, leaves Buck and Eddie alone at the table, empty glasses in front of them.

Eddie pushes his glass back and forth a little bit, but the motion isn’t smooth, glass catching on the sticky surface. He can’t bring himself to make eye contact with Buck just yet. The thing is, things have been so easy between them since he came back. Since Texas. But Buck is single, and he’s single, and even though he’s come to accept that he is absolutely head over heels, stupid in love with Evan Buckley, Eddie’s still figuring out the way forward. And there’s been some plausible deniability about all of it, because until tonight he hadn’t actually told anyone he’s queer. Now they’re both single, and Buck has been living in his house. He’s become a fixture in Eddie’s life, and Eddie is so, so in love with him.

“Are you okay?” Buck asks eventually.

Eddie does look at Buck then; he can feel his own eyes going wide. The only thing on Buck’s face is open concern.

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, you told the whole table you’re– queer?” At Eddie’s nod, Buck continues, “By referencing a war movie, and then you spent the rest of the time not saying much of anything at all.”

“I was– look, I’ve been meaning to tell you guys since I got back from Texas,” Eddie says. He drops his gaze back down to the table and his empty glass. “I just hadn’t figured out how to do it yet. I really didn’t mean to do it by quoting Full Metal Jacket, though.”

Buck nods and they fall silent for a moment.

“I’m not ashamed of it,” Eddie adds. “I mean, I’m kind of embarrassed that I said I’m not a cow, but I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve spent enough of my life being ashamed.”

“I know,” Buck says. Eddie knows that he does, that he gets it. “Hey,” he adds, looking Eddie in the eye. “I’m proud of you.”

There was a part of Eddie that worried things would be weird, that Buck knowing would equal Buck knowing Eddie’s in love with him, that somehow that would ruin everything they’ve built together. A bigger but quieter part of him knew better, but it’s still nice having the proof.

“Thanks,” Eddie says, looking directly at Buck.

He’s going to tell him. Soon, he thinks. Because Buck deserves to know and he’s starting to realize that he deserves to tell Buck, even if they need more time. Even if Buck isn’t in love with him. He deserves to know. But not yet. It’s enough that Buck knows that he’s queer, or bi, or, well— he’s not so sure on the label, honestly.

They head back to the house together, just like they have been since Buck broke up with Taylor, and Eddie looks at all the signs of Buck’s presence there and it looks like home.

#things i wrote #9 1 1 fanfiction #911 fanfic #Eddie diaz #911 fic #pre buck x eddie #queer eddie diaz #anyway I am so sorry #i have a normal amount of feelings about this guy #and I’m still not convinced this isn’t the stupidest thing I’ve written #also yes lucy is here #no i will not apologize for that #i've decided i like here #so that's that on that #also if you agree that this is the stupidest thing I’ve written #pls keep that opinion to yourself

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whumpacabra · 7 months

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Day 6 - Recordings

Worldbuilding, fictional politics, vague mentions of torture

[Follows Hands of Time]

Sarah felt her blood run cold. She found what she was looking for. A quick glance through the security cameras proved she was still under the radar, her direct uplink to the severs undetected.

Harrison didn’t know she was here; she was on her own if things went tits up.

She came here to wipe the files. The recordings, the data, the history. She couldn’t let them use the results of that project. She couldn’t let them use what they had done to ordinary people - to Harrison - for the “greater good” of the country.

A country all too happy to bloody its hands for profit and control.

Then why was she hesitating?

Deleting these records would prevent something like the Project Leda becoming standard protocol, from happening again when the government inevitably wanted better results.

Deleting these records erased any evidence of the crimes committed by the government against its own people.

Against Harrison.

He didn’t know about any of this; he didn’t know about the recordings, about the Projects. It was her instinct to call him, to ask him what he wanted, what he would do -

But Harrison wasn’t here, and Sarah was on her own.

She saved the data to an external drive.

It would take the worm she released into the server mere minutes to destroy the original data. A project five years in operation, a body count blacked out in sharpie, festering for a lifetime in the minds of those that survived - lost to a string of intangible code between the time it took Sarah to cross the building and slip away into the night.

All gone.

Save for the little black box she carried close to her chest, there was no evidence left of the hell Harrison had survived.

[Followed by Freelancers: Changing Tides]

(Part of my Freelancers: Swansong series)

#whump #whumptober #whumptober 2023 #no. 1 #recordings #oc #whump writing #past torture #politics #not whump #<- I mean. it isn’t really.#freelancers #could probably use another editing pass but. I’m eepy goodnight #listen I’m sick and tired and coulda posted this earlier but I didn’t bc. sleepy.#also just kinda in a general funk of posting 0 note stuff which doesn’t normally get to me like at all #and I knew this one wouldn’t get a passing glance bc it’s not juicy but. I did have fun writing it at the time.#sorry like I said I’m sick and exhausted and it’s getting to my head #I don’t write for you I write bc if I don’t play w my blorbos like a 9 yo girl w her barbie dolls I’ll explode #OUGH I FORGOR THE MASTERPOST LINK AKDJEBDJANS #that should tell you how fuzzy my brain is today T_T

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