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adventuringblind · 14 hours

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Chin Up, Princess (2k words)

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: Ghoulverse Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Jos oversteps and causes a whole lot of hurt for Max and his mate, he takes things into his own hands and ends up resorting to extreme measures in order to save his lover. (Background Landoscar, Charlos, and Sewis)

Warnings: Mind control, talks of eating people and mentions of gore but nothing explicit, ghoul on ghoul violence, burning of a character, major character death (not a good guy tho), ED but like... also not an ED, soulbonds

Notes: Ironically the most tame ghoulverse fic I've done thus far. Thank you to🏍️for the amazing idea!!

Side Note: Feed my praise kink please?

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It’s raining again. The kind of rain Monaco doesn’t see often. The torrential downpour that keeps everyone hidden away inside to keep warm.

She watches the water droplets race down the window, wondering which one will hit the edge first. It’s not productive, but she needs something to distract her from the ache in her bones. The hunger pains have gotten progressively worse over the last three weeks. Still, she’s finding ways to cope. She has to manage; the pain is what’s keeping her sane.

It’s nice being home and hidden behind the water covered window. It means she’s free to drop the human look. All horns and tail, long tongue and sharp teeth, dark eyes and pointed ears. It’s natural - or it used to be.

It doesn’t quite feel like her anymore. Like somehow everything that had once been a part of her is now irritating. Her horns are heavy and her tail refuses to be anywhere but the ground. All because his words sit in her head and bounce around the cavity in her chest.

He changed her.

~~~♡~~~

A month ago, she ran into Jos in the paddock. Even though she doesn’t like the guy, he’s still technically her king - and Max’s dad - so her father in law in a way. Max had mated with her (a heavenly feeling) but had done so without the consent of his father.

Jos doesn’t like her one bit. Which she doesn’t care about. If Max is the prince of the demons and set to take up leadership at some point, that makes her a princess. They both dislike each other but in the essence of keeping things civil, she makes it work.

“I didn’t expect to see you here today!” She nodded her head to show respect. Opting for that instead of bowing to this man in broad daylight.

“I wish I hadn’t seen you at all!” Well - fuck you too - she supposes. She’d fallen into step beside him as they made their way to the Redbull garage.

She nearly crashes into him when he stops abruptly. He grabs hold of her bicep and drags her down some alleyway between buildings. She goes with compliance, hell only knows what this man can and will do to her.

Her back hits the wall with a disorienting force. “You’re not enough for us.”

“I think you mean for you.”

Jos hisses close enough to her face that she can feel his saliva hitting her. “The council decided you’re not one of us-'' He grabs her chin and she watches as his eyes fade to that deep dark color that usually means something bad is about to happen.

“You will not eat. You are not one of us. Am I clear?”

She snaps at him. Her attempt at fighting his hold is futile. Not when the damn demon king is trying to hypnotize her. “No!”

He clamps a hand over her mouth and pulls a lighter out of his pocket. The open flame hovers just above the healed over scar on her clavicle. She shakes, desperate to get away from the heat. “You will not eat. You are not a ghoul. You are not one of us.”

It’s a hypnotic tone that seeps through her ears and floods her veins. The heat of the flame no longer her one weakness as her mind submits itself to the will of her king.

~~~♡~~~

Her jaw snapped shut. Her vocal chords refused to work. Her throat constricts around liquids. Her teeth become glued to each other each time she tries to bite down into something of nutrients.

A month of this torture and she can feel herself getting progressively more ravenous. Slowly they’ve exhausted all of their options. No matter how desperately she tries, she can’t get any substance into her.

Max’s reflection appears in the window. A frown etched upon lips. It doesn’t suit him; Max was made to smile. She likes being the one to cause it. These days it feels like all he’s doing is trying to ease her slow and painful death.

He sits opposite of her and heaves out a gust of warm air on the window. His pointer finger paints a simple picture of a stick figure. It’s - objectively - a terrible drawing, but it serves its purpose and makes her laugh.

“I’m scared, Max.”

“I know, schat.”

They continue to stare out the window. The bond doing the talking for them, passing their emotions back and forth. He can feel her pain and she can feel his inner rage.

Humans don’t understand. Maybe they never will. They fear those who are different. Think this way and do this thing or you're a monster. Certainly not all of them. Lando and Charles are prime examples of this. Still - surviving amongst them gets harder each day.

“I know what you want to do.” She turns towards him. Unbidden in the comfort of their own home. His tail flicks in uncertainty. A habit he picked up from Sebastian. “I don’t want you to regret it.”

“It’s inevitable. Just earlier than planned.” He won’t meet her gaze. “I can’t watch you suffer when I can stop it.”

“You have always been the chivalrous type.”

Max slides closer to her. His thumb comes to the underside of her chin and pushes it upward. Her eyes have nowhere else to go, forced to get lost in his. A never-ending sea of endless dark that she’d willingly drown in.

“Chin up, love. There is going to be a crown on your head soon. I’d hate to see it hit the ground.”

~~~♡~~~

She hates not being able to go inside. She understands why she can’t though. She already has the weight of one hypnosis spell weighing her down; she’s more susceptible to another.

Still, waiting is nerve wracking. The sound of familiar roars fill her ears. Occasionally wincing when she feels Max’s pain. Mild compared to what it is for him.

Lando and Charles are sitting on the ground with her. Their mates are inside with Max, along with Lewis and Sebastian. She attempts to hold close to the bonds of their tribe. They’ve been planning this for the last couple of weeks. Every hole is plastered with flexi tape.

“Relax, chéri. They are fine.”

She won’t open her mouth to mutter a thanks. Not when she’s already salivating and can smell exactly where their pulse points are. Not when she can hear the steady rhythm of their hearts.

No, she can’t eat, but she’d also rather not risk it.

“Do we have to bow to you after this whole ordeal is over?” Lando looks at her with a curious expression. “Cause like - Oscar doesn’t bend like that.”

Both her and Charles gape and the odd statement. Lando looks like he’s just stated the weather on an average Monday morning.

“Lando, are you sure it’s not you who doesn’t bend like that?”

“I think I know how I can bend mate! How do you think we broke the table-“

Charles grimaces, his nose scrunching up and cheeks turning red. “Bleh! I don’t need to know how Oscar bends you.”

“You asked!”

“And now I regret it…”

Another roar bellows into the night sky. It’s loud and painful. She looks to the boys beside her for confirmation that it’s not Oscar or Carlos. They nod at her, leaving only three options.

She bolts inside.

The roars turn to whines. The fire rages over the body of Jos Verstappen. Max has sunk to his knees, the sunset hues of the flames reflect in his eyes and illuminate the tear tracks on his cheeks.

She falls beside him. Panicked hands search for any possible wounds; any burns in need of immediate attention. Max is crying as she does so, but he’s smiling at the same time. There are a million emotions running through the room. The large flames a mercy to the now deceased king.

A fallen king lay before them. His body burned to ashes. They watch as he is devoured by the fire. The silence is deafening. The only noise being the roar of the flames. An irony that doesn’t go unnoticed. To feel serene with the one thing that would surely kill her if the starvation doesn’t first.

Max is the first to approach the pile of ashes on the ground. He creeps up to it like they might reanimate. Like they might take back what they once had and reestablish their hold on her mind with no chance at her escape.

Sebastian meets Max in the middle. He scoops handfuls of the ash and decorates Max’s skin. The Dutch looks miserable when Sebastian dumps a handful into Max’s own cupped hands.

“Do I have too?”

“Do you want your fathers powers?”

He groans, but doesn’t wait any longer. He tries to be serious, but there is an element of humor here despite the situation.

“Does this mean Max is a cannibal now?!” She supposes Lando is trying to whisper, but the building they are in echoes. He chokes when he hears it.

“Lando! I am trying to eat my father!”

“So you are a cannibal!”

Oscar slaps a hand over his mate's mouth. Briefly, a look of disgust flashes across his face. “If you really think licking me will work, you are mistaken.” Muffled sounds from underneath Oscar’s hand escape, but nobody understands.

Max is finally able to choke down the ashes of his father. Certainly not the most conventional of coronations, but she can’t picture it any other way.

“Never thought I’d see the day where we were dropping to our knees for this guy.” Carlos chuckles from somewhere beside her as they close in on the new king.

Not a prince anymore - a king.

It suits him more, she thinks. Standing tall in front of his tribe, still laughing at Lando and Oscar and their odd positioning. At Carlos and his playful pride as he kneels. He exchanges a smile with Charles after years of rivalry now comes a shared respect. He turns endearingly to Sebastian and Lewis looking at him like proud parents.

Then to her. She’s on the ground, her knees bruised already. Max pulls her up into his arms. He brings his hands to her jaw and once again she drifts into the calm of his endless eyes.

Soft fingers massage her jaw. The one that aches with a desperate need for something she hasn’t had in so long. He’s gentle with her, like an antique porcelain doll that might break if he applies too much pressure.

“You are worthy of every good thing. You are one of us, just as you always have been and you are deserving of your life.”

The cement that had been fire in her veins vanishes as he speaks. Max keeps talking, but she’s too lost in the relief from these heavy feelings - the euphoria of knowing she belongs again. The cavern of her chest is beating with words of comfort.

Her horns don’t feel like extra weights and her tail finds Max’s with immediate ease. They intertwine like they had before.

“You are here and loved. You have a place with us.” He tilts her chin upward like he’s done since they mated. “Chin up, your highness, you’re a queen now.”

~~~♡~~~

Sated.

Her body aches from a full belly instead of the hunger pains. As does the rest of their tribe, she presumes.

Max keeps getting phone calls… and he keeps ignoring them. Instead opting to keep his attention focussed on his tribe. His love for them - for her - is radiating through his every move.

“I think King Max sounds good on you.” She flashes her teeth at him. The others are either chatting, or if you’re Oscar then you’re using Lando as a blanket and sleeping. They are paying no attention to them.

“You think? I’d always resented it.”

“You’re going to change things, Max. That’s not something to resent.” They hook tails again, a comfort she’d missed dearly. “Plus, you’re stuck with me now since you saved my life. I’m going to be the most demanding queen.” She waves her hand around for dramatic flair.

“Oh yeah? How so?”

“First I’m going to demand that you cuddle me - and I’ll figure out the rest later!”

“As you wish, your highness.”

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i-guess-im-into-this-now · 2 days

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The Apothecary Diaries

S1E13 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Verdigris House- brothel in the Pleasure District

Fengming- LIW to Lady Ah-Duo who was executed

Meimei: one the the 3 princesses at Verdigris House, wears blue, sings, plays go, and chess

Joka: one of the 3 princesses at Verdigris House, wears red

Pairin: one of the 3 princesses at Verdigris House

Luomen: Maomao's father

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Opening. Oh lord! It's happening! A scene I've been waiting for. Jinshi with the emperor!

Jinshi: You're serious? Emperor: If so, then what's next? After all, you are the gardener responsible for maintaining my flowers.

I'm not sure what they are talking about, but I'm going to guess that maybe the emperor is asking Jinshi to pick the next Pure Consort, since that position was recently vacated by Lady Ah-Duo. I find it really weird that the emperor would ask someone else to pick a concubine for him, but the choice has more to do with politics than it does with attraction, so perhaps he thinks Jinshi would be better positioned to know what would be the right move?

Jinshi: He truly is cunning.

I won't know what is so cunning about this until more is revealed, but I believe Jinshi's assessment. The emperor almost certainly has a well considered purpose behind all that he does.

Jinshi: How ironic.

Is the irony that the emperor already has an heir in Jinshi, but that Jinshi is being forced to care for the Rear Palace and ensure that another heir is born? One that can be acknowledged as such?

Jinshi: No matter how hard I try, I can only slightly outperform a regular person in intellect and martial arts. Instead, I have been gifted in appearance more beautiful than most.

I think he is undercutting his abilities here. And maybe that has been common place in Jinshi's life. He's so beautiful that it's easy to overlook that he is also sharp as a tack and quite savvy. We've only seen him with a sword once, but in that match he deftly defeated another officer trained in martial arts. So, I think it's possible he's underselling himself there too. I think what is really going on is that Jinshi is resentful that he's so beautiful. His beauty makes him into an object to be desired. People see Jinshi the beauty, not Jinshi the person. It's isolating. Also that beauty has made Jinshi into a tool to be wielded. His beauty is a cage that prevents him from choosing his own path.

Jinshi: The things I truly want in this life, they feel so far out of reach.

Jinshi is a flower in the garden as well. He too is trapped in a cage.

Jinshi: I was dissatisfied at first but I've gotten over it.

I don't believe him.

Jinshi: The emperor has me in the palm of his hand like everyone else.

There is resentment here.

This relationship is very strange. I don't have enough information to read it yet, since the emperor only had one line here. But even so the circumstances are weird.

Jinshi who was born of Lady Ah-Duo would be the emperor's son, and under normal circumstances should have been raised as an heir. But with the baby swap that took place, he was instead raised as the emperor's brother. Presumably someone found out about the switch after the other child had died, so Jinshi and the emperor should also know. It seems the palace never tried to undo the switch, and instead encouraged the current emperor to simply have another heir. That he waited so long to have another child, is strange. That he assigned Jinshi to be in charge of the harem is also strange.

If Jinshi were envious of the throne, this would be cruel to him to make him cultivate another heir to take the position. If Jinshi were ambitious for the throne, it would be dangerous to the other heirs, because were he corrupt he could eliminate them. The emperor seems to trust that Jinshi won't harm any other potential heirs. He is also pretty utilitarian, using Jinshi's beauty as a tool, and being indifferent to whatever emotions Jinshi may have about that.

And Jinshi tells us that he doesn't like this, but he doesn't have a choice. Jinshi's struggles are often those of responsibilities and expectations from his status.

Jinshi: I'll manage the rear palace and whatever else he wants. I have to. It's the only way I can choose my own path.

Even though he doesn't like working in the rear palace, there is something good about it. If he can maintain his position as younger brother to the emperor, rather than being pulled into the line of succession then he will have more choices in how he lives his life. A spare is different than an heir. If one or more of the concubines can bear some male children, then the emperor's succession is secured, and Jinshi is free from the obligations of the throne. He will always be a tool to the emperor, but that's very different from becoming the next in line to the throne.

The ladies at Verdigris House are so excited for Maomao. They are giving her gifts and advice.

Meimei: You've landed yourself what most would consider a dream job at the palace, and you're telling me you can't even dress appropriately for the position?

It's something Maomao needs to hear. There are expectations of her in the palace. She's not going in at the bottom rung this time. She's not a washer girl who can dress however she wants and be overlooked. I don't know exactly what her position in the palace will be, but since Jinshi bought her, well, if it were another man, I would say she would be coming in as his personal concubine, but I don't know what Jinshi has planned for her. Maybe she's going back to the Rear Palace, but I don't really see how she can. She was released from that position for a reason. The Rear Palace has to ensure that anyone that had any connection to Fengming is gone, so they can't very well just bring Maomao back. In any case since Jinshi is bringing her in, she will be a representative of him, and how she presents herself will matter to more than just Maomao.

I've been noticing Joka, the courtesan in red, the last few times I've seen her. Her reactions are not the same as the other princesses. She seems, I don't know, numb, or subdued. I'm not sure if she is hiding something, or if she's depressed, or something else entirely. It's worth keeping an eye on her.

Okay, so Maomao IS going back to the Rear Palace. She gives us a review of everything that happen in the first half of the show. I also noticed a new intro and title card to the show, so this feels like a second season.

Maomao: I was weak, and succumb to the allure of the caterpillar fungus.

Lol. Maomao. It's not even true. She wanted out of her courtesan contract more than anything and she wanted to return to the palace, but I'm sure she's feeling all kinds of vulnerable with Jinshi buying out her contract, so here we see her reframe the event as a lack of impulse control for a medicinal ingredient.

Regardless, she is excited about this move. She admits to being reluctant to leave her dad, but she's coming in with more freedom this time. She isn't an indentured servant, instead she is... well, she is in whatever her undefined situation with Jinshi is. Maomao and I are both going to need some clarity on that.

Maomao is baffled because her father has told her to do as she likes. So Luomen has also realized what is going on between Maomao and Jinshi and encourages her to make her own choice in that regard. Maomao is oblivious, thinks she's going to the palace to be a food taster again. But everyone else around her, from the courtesans at Verdigris House to her father, acknowledges that having a high ranking official pay a fortune to buy you out of your debts, might mean there is something more going on. Not to mention the very personal gift of the rare fungus. Maomao's friends and family are both seeing something that's there and reading into something that's not. Jinshi is committed to Maomao, and wants more with her, they see that. But everyone is assuming Maomao is going off to the palace to live with her lover, and that's not the case. Maomao just can't imagine that anyone would see her as desirable and so she's perplexed by the gifts and well wishes.

Luomen sets Maomao straight on a few things. She won't be able to make poisons in the palace. She's not going there as a physician. She chose to go to the palace to work, instead of staying in the Pleasure District to be an apothecary with her father. There was always going to be a sacrifice in any choice she made, and this is part of that.

She scoots her bed closer to her father, on this final night in his house. Luomen teases her and calls her baby, to which Maomao responds that it's cold. Yeah it is. Cold like this father-daughter relationship. Maybe Luomen is just frosty because she chose to leave him here because he says, "soon we'll be lonely again." But Maomao assures him, that this time she'll be able to come home whenever she wants. Luomen shows some genuine warmth to her when he pats her head and affirms that she is welcome to come back any time. She considers the people she counts as family: her father, the madame and ladies of the Verdigris House. It's a comfort to know there are people here that would welcome her back. It's a strength she needs behind her as she willingly steps into the unknown of her future.

Jinshi comes to pick up Maomao at Verdigris House. To the courtesans, Maomao is achieving the highest aspiration a girl from the brothel could hope for. She's been selected by a high ranking, wealthy official, who seems to have genuine feelings for her. She's going off to live as a high class lady in the palace. In their eyes she's achieved status, wealth, security, and maybe even love. And they couldn't be prouder. They are like bridesmaids preparing a bride for her new life. And so they do everything they can to make Maomao look like a high class lady. Maomao is ✨sparkling✨. Which has a profound effect on Jinshi.

I'm reminded of Jinshi's thoughts from the top of the episode:

Jinshi: The things I truly want in this life, they feel so far out of reach.

And yet here is Maomao, dressed in finery, looking every bit like a high class lady. Could she fit in his life?

It takes zero seconds for word to spread about Jinshi's new courtesan. There is literally a crowd of people gathered around the brothel to gawk. Maomao is getting a ton of attention.

Maomao: I hope you realize, this is your fault. All of this unwanted attention.

It couldn't possibly be that Maomao is beautiful, it must be because of Jinshi.

Jinshi: well, that's because you look...

Like what Jinshi? Finish your sentence!

Maomao: I look what? Jinshi: It's nothing.

He can't say all the things he's thinking because she'll pull back. He'll do anything to prevent that gulf between them from widening. Plus to compliment her in this scenario may sound suggestive. Which he needs to be very careful about. If she is interested in him and wants to move their relationship to something more romantic then Jinshi would most likely be pleased, but if she feels that she is obligated to do so because he bought her contract, then... well I don't think that's what he wants.

I also think he's frustrated here. He's frustrated that he can't tell her what he feels and he's frustrated that her appearance could breed competition.

Oh yeah, he is jealous. A guard is dazed by the glimpse he caught of Maomao. Jinshi distinctly does not like it, and physically gets between Maomao and the man so he can't see her. Wow, my dude.

Jinshi: By the way, while you're here, you should wear your regular freckles.

I'm laughing, because Jinshi is jealous and that's a good look on him, but I still don't like what he's saying. She might read this comment to mean that the palace is not a safe place for women, but that's not what Jinshi is afraid of. He's afraid someone else will notice how beautiful Maomao is, and try to charm her. It is possessive and controlling behavior from Jinshi. Which we have seen before in the way he has maneuvered Maomao in the past. Jinshi has made progress, but he still doesn't fully respect her yet. I guess the man needs more painful lessons. I do so enjoy watching him suffer.

Palace gossip! The Rear Palace Manager has bought a new courtesan from the Verdigris House!

I'm reminded of a rumor that went around, way back in... let me check... episode 5! It was said that a servant girl seduced a military officer who infamously hates women. I thought at the time that the rumor was about Maomao and Jinshi, and if I'm right then Jinshi has a reputation for "hating woman." Or at least consistently turning them down. Which is why the news that he has now brought in a courtesan is so juicy.

And we have a mysterious new character who overhears the gossip and simply says, "how fascinating." Who is this guy? I can't place his age. I think he is dressed like other military officials. He is in a large office. Is it his own office? Is he a high ranking official? We see him playing Go, so we can assume he's an intelligent, maybe even strategic thinker. I immediately don't like that he is interested in Jinshi's actions. Is he a rival?

Maomao: What is this guy doing?

Jinshi is acting like a damn fool. He's doing his best to block the view of Maomao from every man on the street. Gaoshun is so disappointed.

Jinshi has taken Maomao to his own personal house. Maomao was wrong. She can't go back to the Rear Palace, after being fired from there.

She meets the attendant of Jinshi's residence, an older woman named Suiren, who calls her "Xiaomao." Maomao instantly looks at Gaoshun, since that's the pet name he has been using for her for a few episodes now. I wonder what Suiren was told about Maomao's arrival. Suiren also refers to Jinshi as the "young master." She points out where Jinshi's office is, where his personal residence is, and purposefully where his bedroom is. This lady is under the same impression as everyone else, when it comes to Maomao. Maomao is still contemplating why Jinshi would be referred to as the young master, but Suiren reads that as Maomao worrying about her responsibilities in Jinshi's bedroom, and says, "I'm sure you are going to be all right." Maomao is clueless as always when it comes to the topic of her own desirability.

Maomao is surprised to find that she's been given a nice room in Jinshi's residence. It almost seems like a nice enough room to give to a beloved new concubine.

Jinshi, who has seen a vision of Maomao in his life as a classy lady, informs her that she's not going to be a servant here. She needs to study to take a test to be accepted as a court lady. Maomao is truly blindsided. She really thought she was going to be a servant in the palace. We can guess her thoughts: A court lady? Surely I'm not fit for that! We see again how her self esteem stymies her.

We see Maomao at the next dawn, painting on her freckles as requested, and donning her old green robes, rather than the beautiful robes she arrived in. And I have to question, once again, just what the hell Jinshi thinks he is doing. On the one hand he wants her to study to become a court lady, so she can have the status to stay at his side in his residence. On the other hand he thwarts that very effort by discouraging her from dressing the part, when he asked her to paint on her freckles. Even though she wears her old outer robes, she has been provided a very nice cotton inner robe. Something that would be appropriate for a new concubine regular servant.

Maomao finds Suiren in the kitchen, doing all of the work of handling Jinshi's personal affairs, by herself. The other female attendants that used to work there, couldn't restrain their lust for Jinshi and had to be let go. It seems someone left underwear made of hair in Jinshi's closet. If anyone knows the significance of this garment please share.

Maomao gets to accompany Suiren to wake Jinshi up, and Maomao gets a good look at a disheveled Jinshi first thing in the morning.

Maomao: So much wasted sex appeal.

If only his robe were open a little lower, she may realize this guy is not a eunuch.

Maomao: I can see why only Master Gaoshun and Lady Suiren are allowed his room.

And you. Dumbass.

Maomao is deep into a fantasy of being able to use Jinshi's sex appeal to bottle as an aphrodisiac. If she's looking greedily at Jinshi right now, it has less to do with his effect on her and more to do with her obsession with medicine.

Jinshi: If you desire it, I can seek you out a different room.

Is he... he's suggesting his own room, isn't he? He's teasing her for staring.

Maomao notices an intense glare from Gaoshun.

Maomao: If he wants me to understand, he's going to have to be more direct.

Yeah, like maybe try a sledgehammer. If it has to do with Maomao's being desirable, she'll never figure it out on her own.

She really doesn't get it. And requests a different room. LOL! Maomao! Jinshi denies her request. Gaoshun and Suiren look pained by this interaction. Perhaps Suiren will have a better understanding of how things actually are between Jinshi and Maomao after witnessing this debacle. Gaoshun has been suffering through this disaster of a courtship for a year now.

Maomao learns that Jinshi actually does a lot of work, even though he found so much time to loiter around the Rear Palace when she was there. Gee I wonder why he spent so much of his precious time there. Maomao is also told to stay away from the east side of the palace where all of the military officers are. It wouldn't be right for a prized concubine regular servant to be seen there with a bunch of men after all. It's important that she learn the many departments of the outer palace if she is going to be a court lady, something Maomao still hasn't really committed to yet.

Maomao stocks some charcoal in Jinshi's office while he's out and she gets the impression that Jinshi holds a rather high position. Some day she will figure out who he is, or you know, ask him about it, but she's committed to living in denial right now.

The court ladies that work in the outer palace have qualifications, background, and education that make them fit for their positions. Maomao has none of that, though I have no doubt she could be successful at it if she wanted to. She doesn't. She mentioned that it is hard for her to learn about things she isn't interested in. She's not interested in this. Jinshi may need to rethink his plan for Maomao. Or wild idea, maybe talk to her about it.

But talking to each other feels so risky right now. They haven't clarified at all what it means that Jinshi bought her and moved her into his house. It feels like if they start to question this undefined relationship then things could fall apart. So they both tip toe around one another, never mentioning the giant issue between them. It's too scary to try and move ahead; neither is willing to risk letting it fall apart. This tenuous situation cannot last for long. There are so many things that could disrupt it.

Some palace ladies come to meet Maomao, and they are pissed. They call her a runt, and imply she must have done something to get assigned directly to Jinshi's residence. Maomao is straight up transfixed on this woman's bosom. Maomao's flat chest is a something she seems to be self conscious about.

Maomao: So what you're saying is that all of you are envious of me?

She's got it right. But it's a little too honest for these terrible people. The angriest one slaps Maomao. Maomao twists the words of these ladies. If Maomao, "an ugly girl," is receiving special treatment from Jinshi, then surely he must have atrocious taste; he must have interesting proclivities. They do not want to be accused of spreading gossip about Jinshi, and that stalls them. Maomao shows them her arm, and implies that Jinshi took her in merely out of pity. One of these ladies is clearly different than the rest. She almost seems subdued or something. I'm not quite sure, her reactions are off though. Either way, the ladies are pacified for now, and they leave.

Jinshi saw at least part of that exchange, and he is not happy. He doesn't care about what she said about him having "interesting proclivities." He even teases her about it. He might even be impressed by how Maomao was able to turn the ladies words back at them. But he really didn't like seeing her have to defend herself for simply being there in his residence. Or the fact that someone hit Maomao.

Jinshi: Question. Is being harassed a common occurrence for you?

Honestly, I'm glad he saw it. She never would have told him about this. I'm not sure what he can do about it, but she's a person under his protection, and he at least should know it's happening.

Perhaps Jinshi is getting his first insight into how his status impacts Maomao. She becomes a target because she is connected to him. Those who are jealous of the attention she gets, can easily take that out on her. And if it is known that Jinshi cares about her, Maomao becomes an easy target to attack Jinshi, because someone could hurt Maomao to hurt Jinshi. Or they could use her to try to manipulate him. She's a vulnerability for Jinshi. And maybe he hasn't realized that before now.

Jinshi asks why she showed the ladies her arm. Maomao gets real weird about it and slinks off. I know some day we will find out what the deal is with her arm, but until then the mystery grows.

As she's leaving Jinshi encourages her to study for the court ladies' exam. I don't see how this is going to work. She doesn't want to do it. I entertained the idea that maybe this has to do with her self-esteem issues, and it may, but it's not the whole story. She wants to be an apothecary. So unless court ladies can go around studying and practicing medicine, this is maybe not going to work out.

Maomao does study a bit for the exam. Maybe she felt obligated after looking at her precious caterpillar fugus. But in any case, she fails the exam. She won't be able to hold a respectable court lady position after all. Rather she is made to be Jinshi's personal servant.

Jinshi: What should we do?

He should have discussed this with Maomao from the beginning. He can try as he likes, but he's not going to be able to make Maomao into something she doesn't want to be. If he wants to find a place for Maomao in his life, he's going to have to make sure she wants that too.

Maomao gets distracted by some medicinal herbs and wanders into an area she shouldn't be. I'm guessing it's the east end of the palace where all of the military officers are. The court lady who was less enthusiastically mean earlier, hits Maomao in the head and tells her:

You should know your place. There's no reason for you to go beyond this point.

Maomao notices that this lady smells of sandalwood and something distinctly bitter. I don't remember sandalwood coming up before, but something bitter, could it be an illness? Or perhaps a specific treatment for a condition? Maomao knows. She's giving this lady a thoughtful look.

And apparently this is the part of the palace where the military officers hang out. We get another look at our mysterious new character. He's taken an interest in Maomao. Probably because he has realized she's important to Jinshi. My, my, how ripe for drama.

Cryptic ending. Someone hands a fancy pipe to a guard. The figure is cloaked. My initial thought is that it's Maomao offering a treatment to the lady she just ran into, but maybe not. The music clues me in that this is a nefarious person up to nefarious deeds. Maybe they are selling opium or some other drug. Is that an opium pipe? I legit don't know. Okay a quick web search has me convinced that is an opium pipe. So the distinct bitter smell that Maomao noticed was that of opium. And now we know why that lady from earlier was a bit more subdued, she was on drugs.

Interesting episode. The whole show has changed, and feels very different from the first half.

Maomao is getting a much more intimate view of just who Jinshi is and what his life entails. Hopefully, she will be able to relieve herself of some of the misconceptions she has about him, and maybe even start to examine some of her feelings towards this person. Jinshi is going to to have to adjust his expectations of her, and work on giving her reasons to want to be with him, rather than trying to change her into something she's not. I'm super interested to see how Maomao and Jinshi will be able to fit their lives together.

If people start dropping from using opium, then Maomao may be able to help. Solving mysteries where she really shines. So if Jinshi can just find a way to make her a court forensic investigator, that would be great.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Next episode:

Episode 14

#the apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries #maomao #jinshi #jinmao

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w2soneshots · 3 days

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Can you make more of dad Simon and him freeking out wheb he has to be alone with the baby while we ste at the doctors. And he brings the baby boy to side cats bc he is not calming down

Baby boy -Miniminter

Words: 0.6k+

Warnings: none.

In which Simon looks after your baby for the first time by himself, when he’s struggling he goes to the boys for help.

a/n: i love this. enjoy!🫶🏼

"Ok, the bag with everything he needs is on the table, his lunch is in the fridge and try to put him down for his nap by 2." I said to Simon as I rushed to get my shoes on. We recently became parents to a beautiful baby boy. Simon has been amazing so far but today I have a meeting that I can't miss so he's looking after Oscar for the day. I tried to lay everything out ready for him to attempt to calm his nerves. He knows everything that I told him already but when he gets stressed I know his mind goes blank. "I love you, have fun!" I quickly kissed both of my boys on the cheek then left.

Simon's pov:

"I can do this. Everything is gonna be fine." I tried to reassure myself. I sat on the couch and got comfy, rocking Oscar back and forth gently. After just an hour he began hysterically crying. "Shh, it's ok daddy's here, shh. Please." I pleaded to the small but extremely loud baby in my arms. I've already tried changing his nappy, giving him some of his lunch (he wanted nothing to do with it) and putting him down for his nap a little early but he just continued to cry.

I couldn't call y/n because she's in the middle of a very important meeting. So I text the boys: "guys I don't know what to do he won't stop fucking crying😫" I got a reply almost immediately "we're just about to film for the pod, bring him here?" Tobi text. I sighed in relief "you sure? I don't want him to disturb you" "yes mate, I've been wanting to see him for ages!!" Harry replied. I quickly got myself and Oscar ready, grabbed the bag y/n had thankfully packed for me and left.

The drive felt like torture, I was desperately trying to focus on the road while a screaming baby wiggled in the back seat. When I finally parked up outside the tall building where we film more sidemen and things for side+ I quickly got out and grabbed Oscar from the back. When I got inside I checked in and apologised for the interruption, thankfully everyone was really nice about it. "How can someone this little make such a loud noise?" I thought to myself as the lift came to a stop.

"Hey! I could hear you coming from down the hall." Tobi said once I made it to the office. "Yea." I replied tiredly. "Oscar!" Harry shouted, running up to us "oh nelly. Can I hold him?" He asked. I nodded quickly. Harry gently took him from my arms and went to sit down in the side cast set. He stopped crying. I mentally thanked Harry. "How on earth does y/n do this, she's amazing" I thought. One of the team members brought me a coffee and I quickly drank it as I watched Harry gently rock Oscar. "I never knew you were so good with kids." Tobi spoke to the Guernsey boy. "Yea, before Oscar and Olive came about I assumed you didn't like em." I added. Harry chuckled quietly.

"The girls are gonna go crazy when they see that pod." Tobi said as we left, referring to the fact Harry sat with a baby the entire time we were filming and kept getting distracted by his light snoring. I laughed "one hundred percent." Harry sighed "well I better get home, see you boys tomorrow." I nodded "thank you guys, I seriously don't think I could have gotten through today if it wasn't for you." I said sincerely. "Don't sweat it, we know you'd do the same." Tobi stated.

When I got home I sat with Oscar until y/n got back. The door clicked and then opened "hey! How are my boys?" She said practically dropping everything in her hands. I sighed "good." She cocked her head slightly "not as easy as you thought?" "No definitely not." I replied. She giggled.

#simon minter x reader #simon minter #miniminter x reader #miniminter #fanfic #image #oneshot #sidemen #side cast #side+#dad!simon #x female reader #x fem!reader #x y/n #x you #x reader

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marshmallowprotection · 1 day

Text

"You're doing it again, aren't you?"

"...Huh?"

"My love, you're doing it again," Saeran stressed the words one by one. He pressed a warm blanket around your shoulders, likely fresh from the dryer after given that he had been doing laundry for whilst you took care of other matters. "You're pushing yourself too hard to take care of this. I know you feel obligated to do everything but you can't keep this up forever... I don't want you to burn yourself out. It's not healthy."

You pulled the blanket tighter around your shoulders and turned away from your laptop screen. No matter how much you wanted to look at it and get your work done, you couldn't. You couldn't take it anymore. It hurt every time you tried to rationalize what you had to do and how you had to do it.

It was way. too. much.

How could you ever get all this work done in time before it was due? There was so much riding on you, so much riding on how good you could present your plan, and so much riding on how you could craft every little detail down to the atom.

Everyone was counting on you, trusting their fate in your hand to do the right thing without a second thought, and that felt like a blessing and a curse.

It felt good to know people trusted you, and how far they were willing to go to place their confidence in you.

"Do you think I don't know that?" You retorted, then winced, upon hearing how the words sounded. It wasn't like you were angry with him. It wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve to be barked at because everything felt like it was on fire. He only wanted to remind you it wasn't okay to do this to yourself.

Not when you had been fighting your instincts for years to stop doing this to yourself whenever you felt backed in a corner with no way out of it.

You swiftly recanted those very angry words as you regretted them the second they left your lips. "Sorry, Saeran. I shouldn't take this out on you. I know you're right! I know—this isn't the way I should handle everything! I just... I don't know how else to do this! Everyone needs me to put on a strong face and do what's best for the job. I'm glad I have the respect of my coworkers, and that they believe in me to do what's best! But, I'm—"

It also hurt to know that their faith in you was what led you to take on as much as you could to make things right.

"...I'm tired."

Quietly, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He couldn't see it, but he could hear the sob in the back of your throat as you felt the shame and exhaustion catch up with you. You couldn't bare to look at his face, and he knew that, which is why he made sure you felt those loving, tender arms there to bring you peace.

"You can always tell them you need help, my love," he whispered, the words warm and gentle. "You don't have to do everything all alone all the time."

You knew he was right.

But, it was hard for you to confess you needed help. It was hard to say you were in too deep and over your head, and GOD. God, you sounded like Jihyun Kim when he hit rock bottom. You didn't want that. You didn't want to do what he did, nor did you want to repeat those painful shadows you tried to talk him out of before he gave up on himself.

You knew better, and yet, it was the crux of your fatal flaws, always there when you let yourself get too worked up, and you knew that falling back on old habits would only burn you.

So, why couldn't you do better? Why wasn't the road to learning how to do better for yourself a flat one, not filled with bumps and hills and mud and more obstacles? It wasn't fair, but you knew you couldn't do this to yourself anymore.

The words were tiny and faded as you croaked: "...I just want to cry first."

"I've got you, my love, cry as long as you want to," his words lulled you to let go of the stress, melting into his embrace.

#tw insecurity #drabble #mod kait #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #mm #choi saeran #tw self worth #saeray #saeran #saeran mystic messenger #saeran mm #saeran mysme #mm saeran #mysme saeran #mystic messenger saeran

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crybaby-bkg · 2 days

Text

tw: blood/menstruation, not-really-period sex, humping

“What’s wrong?” Choso asks the moment he steps through the door. he finds you in your shared bed, your eyes clamped shut, curled into a fetal position. he spots the cord to the heating pad sneaking under the blanket he brought for you on your third date.

"My period." you groan, another wave of cramps coming in entirely too strong. you squeeze your eyes shut once more, hoping that the pain will fade quicker than when it came. when you open your eyes again, Choso is already sliding into bed beside you, kneeling, hovering over you as he smooths his hand down your hair.

"What can I do to help you?" he asks, his voice serious, eyes dead set on your stomach as if he could reach through your skin and fix everything with his bare hands. the thought makes you smile weakly, your eyes fluttering shut as you hum.

"Nothing really," you mumble, untucking your hand from under the blanket to reach out to him. he holds your palm in his own cold grip, squeezing your too warm hand with enough care that it makes you blink up at him. he has this look on his face, like he's thinking, like he knows you might say no to him.

"Spit it out, Cho," you tell him, using your other hand to press the heating pad even closer, your hand squeezing his when another cramp makes your stomach knot up. he twists his mouth this way and that, before his lip pouts unintentionally, makes you want to squeeze his face between your palms.

"I've read online that orgasming is good for alleviating period cramps." he says bluntly, eyes studying your face for any signs of uncomfortableness. but you only frown, pondering why the hell he was looking up that stuff anyway when you've never shared much about this whole thing with him.

"I dunno, Cho," you admit, biting at your bottom lip in thought. "Don't wanna gross you out."

"Nothing about you could ever gross me out," he counters before you can say anything else, his eyebrows furrowing at you. "Especially if it's to help ease the pain. Let me help you."

and you do; let him untuck you from your blanket burrito, rearrange the heating pad so that he can shuck your ratty pajama pants down, the comfortable ones, let him pull you until you're closer to him, until his knee is slotted between your own thighs.

"We can go at your pace, okay?" he says, his deep voice grating in his throat, makes a shiver run through your spine. you can only nod at him, too fatigued from the blood loss to argue. just wrap your arms around his neck, shuffle closer until his knee is placed firmly on your cunt, your nose sliding against his as he looks at you, trying to gauge your comfortability.

you roll your hips first, a little noise escaping you at the barely there friction, before Choso grabs your hips to force you down a little harder. he stares at you the whole time, with this lovesick little look in his eyes, adoring. he's not even getting any pleasure, you don't think, but the way his mouth drops every time your clit grazes his knee, you think just watching you, feeling you, seeing you, is enough to do him in.

you wrap your leg around his own until you're scissored against him, humping at the hardened muscle of his thigh until you're too focused on coming than the pain that tries to wash over you. your hands tangle in his hair until the strands fall free, your mouth hovering over his, breathing hotly against him with every jut of your hips against his pale skin.

when you cum, it feels like a release you've been holding inside for far too long, a bursting dam, your eyes clenched shut as you whimper against his gaping lips. you try to catch your breath, pulling back to thank him, when you notice a little stain on his bare thigh, your chest instantly tightening.

"Oh fuck, Cho, I'm so fuckin' sorry," you panic, trying to pull away from him, get a wet cloth, do something. but Choso only holds you close to him with a hand around your waist, pulling you back until your nose bumps his once more.

"It's nothing to apologize for, love." he says, sweet, his actions somewhat sweeter when he reveals his finger that he's swiped through the blood on his thigh. your eyes widen in confusion, but before you can stop him, he pops the single digit into his mouth.

you groan, covering your eyes with your hands, despite his laughing. you dodge his kisses, pulling away from him as much as you can, despite his strength that keeps you anchored to him.

"God, you're such a gross freak, Cho." you chuckle, hand against his cheek that he keeps trying to kiss.

"Nothing about my love for you is gross." he grumbles, dodging your hand to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

"But it is freaky?"

"Maybe just a little."

#tw: blood #tw: periods #tw: menstruation #can u tell I wrote this while on my period #I actually wrote it Friday night and was gonna upload it sat morning but I was like #omg no it’s bkg’s bday posting anybody else is cheating #and then I forgor 🧍🏽‍♀️#but I want him #carnally in fact ☝🏼#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#choso treats! 🍬

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isaksbestpillow · 2 days

Text

Gmmtv 2024 part 2

Didn't we just have part 1??? I don't remember any of the shows in part 1 but it's time to watch another 15 mock trailers. I actually haven't finished a Gmmtv show in ages so let's see whether they manage to lure me back!

Ossan's Love Th

The original franchise is my beloved and it's interesting to see it adapted to a different culture especially since Thailand is more progressive than Japan as far as lgbtq rights go, but this show is harder to adapt than something like Cherry Magic because so much of the comedy comes from Japanese language/culture and the actors. They really hit the jackpot with the original cast, they're hard to replace. I wasn't blown away by the trailer but I like Eartmix and I'm glad they cast a veteran actor as the boss so I'm going to give it a shot. I might've been more optimistic if I hadn't just seen OLR and been reminded of how great the original cast and editing is, the trailer couldn't quite meet that energy for me. But I don't think this is the official trailer yet??? I hope they'll they'll tune it up for the real thing! Anyway, it's nice to see Earth in a fun role after so many brooders.

Leap Day

This one seems to be a thriller with Dew and Pond who both suffer from a curse that kills their loved ones every leap year. The characters are called Night and Day. Where have I heard this before................... People are dying and Gun plays a disabled brother (?). I won't be tuning in.

The Heart Killers

Firstkhao and Joongdunk are making out and handling guns. Khaotung gets a terrible tattoo of 信/trust. I don't know what the plot is. This is an outing by P'Jojo, but unfortunately his latest works haven't been the moment for me, I feel like his plots fall flat in the middle and I tune out. Casting two branded bl pairs is an interesting choice, but I don't want to be there when their fans take out their rulers to measure who got the most screentime.

Friendshit Forever

30-year-olds play university students. Heterosexual activity happens. This time with knives. I'm already sensing a pattern with these shows.

Perfect10 Liners

The mandatory Jittirain university bl. Please sit down for what I'm about to say because you may be shocked by the surprise: they were engineers.

Another gl??? Stop the press!! I already watched the trailer three times. A woman tries to make heterosexuality work with the brother but actually likes the sister. Finally a gl where I feel like I'm in the target audience. The high heel lesbians that we've gotten so far just don't feel that relatable to me, so I've watched those gls as entertainment but not gotten deeply emotionally invested. I don't really know the main actors sans Sing which is great since I can enter with a fresh perspective. This one feels like the first serious romance out of this batch. I'm gonna watch the hell out of this!!!!!

Hide & Sis

We start with a murder. Jan is here. The vibe feels very PS I Hate You. Oh, it's by the same producers, no wonder! I expect this to do well in Thailand but I'm not planning on tuning in.

Thame - Po Heart That Skips a Beat

Another bl with some new guys. Who will be Gmmtv's next branded pair? The story is set in the idol industry. I hate this type of music lol. My heart did not skip a beat but maybe the actual show will be more interesting.

Break up service

Off and Godji run a dubious breakup service in this story based on a webtoon. The vibes are very Midnight Motel with more grey morals since there is illegal filming of sexual activity.

Revamp The Undead Story

Bounprem have moved to Gmmtv. I don't really vibe with vampire stuff. *gets shot*

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist

We got Mark Pakin in a main role but at what cost. He's a dentist and it's another Jittirain adaptation (how many books has this author churned out???).

The Dark Dice

I feel like I already saw this same trailer like four times. Jumanji meets all the other dark trailers from this batch.

The Ex-Morning

Kristsingto return as exes with unfinished business. Krist's character is a reporter who has a scandal during a livestream, Singto's character returns from abroad to help rebuild his reputation. The setting is hilarious, I love it. Both have matured a lot since Sotus days and I'm genuinely excited for this one.

Scarlet Heart Thailand

Gmmtv tries their hand at a historical drama. A lot of popular names in the lineup. The trailer doesn't give out much but this is a remake of a Chinese series.

That was all 15 trailers, I think! I'm looking forward to Us and The Ex-Morning the most.

#gmmtv 2024

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silenzahra · 1 day

Text

Dear friends: I LOVE YOU 💖💖💖

I don't even know where to start... I feel so HONORED that you've enjoyed my latest post so much 🥹😭💖

Thank you so much for all the comments, and likes, and reblogs, and for recommending it to your followers and friends. I swear I still feel like dreaming and you guys make this feel even better 🥹🥹🥹

@nuctoria @peaches2217 @itsavee4117 @keakruiser @bberetd

@alex-procrastinates @vulpixfairy1985 @hyperfixatingonbowuigisohard @cool-taya @charlie-the-ghost64

@mrs-luigi-vargas @luigitime83 @fandomphantom1 @thedragicloudluigi @canela2001

@wogwoman @imaginativefanatic @nunchukaninja-archive @pepperycar @brave-little-pauper

@thesavagekitten This goes for all of you 👇

I really hope I didn't forget about anyone! 💖💖💖

In all honesty, I never thought this would get this far... It all started with some silly ideas from an avid bookworm who began to see herself reflected in her favorite character and got extremely excited every time she saw him with a book. And, from then... it all came alone, more or less. I've totally poured into Luigi (and the whole post) my own feelings when reading and fangirling over books, for you BET I'm also extremely intense when I'm enjoying a good novel. I simply thought that Luigi would act the same, since I have in common with him that I also get emotional very easily and experiment my own feelings in a very intense way. And it only makes me feel all the way more connected to my beloved boy in green 💚💚💚

So thank you. Thank you for your enthusiasm (I didn't expect that there would be so much anticipation when I shared my teaser post a few days ago!), and for welcoming all my ideas with open arms. I totally enjoyed writing them, and it was definitely something I needed after everything I went through last month. These headcanons have helped me connect with Luigi (and the whole gang) again, which means I totally feel like writing fics again and I just couldn't be happier because I've missed it so much! 🥹🥹🥹 I really hope you're ready, because some of the HCs I've shared today will definitely become written works in the future! And I'll obviously be bringing at last my pending fics! ✨

Of course, I can't leave without giving special thanks to the amazing @itsavee4117 for his lovely post (please go check it! 💖💖💖). Dear friend, it's been such a pleasure to work with you and to see some of my ideas come to life in your gorgeous art style! 🥹 I just LOVE how you've illustrated them, the many details here and there, how expressive and CUTE all the characters look... And of course, seeing our beloved Luigi in a beautiful dress is always such a treat! 💚 I seriously LOVE all of your drawings, but if I had to choose, I'd go with the babies (MY HEART 😭), the Cycle of the Common Reader (Peach and Luigi are so ME in that one!), and of course...

LUAISY 💚🧡

They look so damn CUTE 😭😭😭 I swear, I've enjoyed writing the whole post, but the Luaisy parts were my ABSOLUTE favorite because this couple really owns my heart. And, more specifically, their first Book Day together, with Daisy's purple dress covering Luigi's legs while he tries to read the book he has gifted her... My God, how I ENJOYED writing that. These two cuddling and kissing and sharing their love for literature I just 😭😭😭 I love them.

And then you go and draw this MASTERPIECE and I'm. So dead and happy and crying 😭😭😭😭😭 It's literally my phone wallpaper right now, THANK YOU, thank you for all your drawings, Vee, but especially for this one 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 You made me SO HAPPY 😭😭😭💚🧡✨

Again, thank you everyone for all your love and support! You truly mean EVERYTHING to me 🥹 I still can't get over the fact that what I write not only interests you, but you also enjoy and love it. I'm so elated to be part of such an amazing and wholesome community 💖💖💖

I'm now off to bed, but again, thank you so much for making this the best Book Day I've ever had 🥹🥹🫂🫂 I love you all with all my heart 💖💖💖💖💖

#THANK YOU #I don't deserve you #you're all so GREAT and SWEET #I truly and deeply adore you #thank you so much 🫂💖#Luigi the Bookworm #Book Day #Luaisy #thank you post #silenzahra

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kytsuine-blog · 1 day

Text

Ok so I'm going to do a better, Tumblr-focused writeup soon and also track down those blogs to talk about them more specifically, but I fell for a misinformation scheme today and want to talk about how and why. Here's an email I sent my little cousin about it.

This morning, I encountered a Tumblr post talking about the TikTok ban and the government's attempt to severely curtail digital privacy rights as part of it.

I had heard that the TikTok ban was currently up for debate in the Senate, after passing the House with strong bipartisan support. I was not surprised by the information in the screenshots; it matched with things I knew the government had tried to do often in the past, and often under similar circumstances. I looked up the bill linked to verify, and yeah, it was an active bill that had been introduced in the Senate. (I should have realized then that there was an issue with what I was reading, but in my defense it was about 6:00 AM, and I was just glancing over things in the parking lot before going in to work.)

Concerned for the digital privacy and security of my family, and especially the ones I can't just drive to, I drafted the following message to you:

"I haven't had time to read all the way through the RESTRICT act that the Senate proposed, but summaries I've seen indicate that as written it's a massive overreach. It's better known as the TikTok ban; the news has been focusing on that part as it passes through Congress so far.

I always sign my emails to you with my public key. Both of you should look up how to use PGP to send me encrypted emails with that. It may become even more important soon to normalize secure encryption in Internet communications, and there may also be things that we wish to discuss that state or federal laws may frown on in the future.

I planned to introduce topics related to computer and information security more gradually, but making sure that talking about those is possible at all is an important part of that.

Congress.gov page on the bill

Tweet thread"

(As an aside, I do still think that normalizing encryption is a very worthwhile thing to do; it makes the web a safer place for activists and informants needing a way to communicate without surveillance, without being singled out as enemies of the surveillance state.)

I then checked through the notes of the Tumblr post to see if there was more context I wanted to share, and noticed people who called out a detail that I missed. That post was first posted in March of 2023, a little over a year ago. It refers to an entirely different bill than the TikTok ban which is currently going through the Senate, one which activists successfully stalled (and likely killed) last year. This year's bill is much more targeted (though, as implemented, I still have issues with it); its text can be found here.

This is a classic example of how misinformation spreads. I did not have bad intent when I went to share that commentary on last year's bill with you, and I did not find it from someone with bad intent (in fact, she subsequently shared a commentary I posted on the actual bill, in reply to her original incorrect post.) From what I can tell, on March 14, a number of mostly inactive politically-focused blogs all shared that post directly from the original poster (not from someone who had it in their feed, like a normal Tumblr interaction). Each of these was tagged with fairly popular political tags. None of these blogs has posted since, keeping it at the top of their page to get more eyes on it.

Misinformation is spread deliberately, and it takes caution and checking of your biases to combat it. I almost fell for this one because I expected it to be true. I should have checked on it before sharing anything at all. Looking at it now, I ask: who benefits from this?

Most directly, proponents of the current TikTok ban benefit from activist efforts being directed towards a functionally dead bill. This, apparently, includes the strong majority of the House, on both sides of the aisle; it may be assumed that it also includes the government's surveillance agencies (as it is easier to compel data from American companies than from foreign ones, particularly Chinese ones). It could also include other social media sites, especially those like YouTube and Instagram that compete directly with TikTok in the realm of algorithmically driven short videos.

More abstractly, though, this misinformation benefits the status quo, and conservatism as a whole. By causing people who are invested in the TikTok ban (mostly left-leaning people) to engage with more stringent and concerning bills, stress is increased on activists and burnout becomes more likely. Targeting the mental health of left-leaning activists is a tactic we've seen multiple times recently in misinformation campaigns; another example is the "the Guardian is doing a story on DIY HRT" hoax that recently circulated among my trans friends. This type of stressful lie misinformation serves the dual purpose of causing activists to burn out and decreasing trust among communities that share it.

This is a new specific strategy to me, but the solution is the same as ever. Check your sources when you speak publicly, check how your biases affect what ideas seem "clearly correct", and aim for your statements to maximize quality, rather than quantity. That's a discipline I still need to refine, but it's not hard. Just requires a bit of diligence.

#misinformation #hoaxes #TikTok ban #sb 686 #hr 7581 #this is why timestamps are important

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melimpostor · 2 days

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TOP 10 favourite AA fanfics?

Hi !! Thank you for the ask ! Sorry it took me some time.

While i love the concept of asking the fandom questions, I'm really the wrong person to be asked about fanfics right now hfhdhdhs-

I'm new... Very very new to fanfic reading. Oh dear... i'm not even sure i've read 10 of them... Do i even have 5 ?? Oh no... oh boi, i'm a fraud..

So... Okay, my top ten will be the list of what i've read so far instead. (and chronogically)

► Black Water by @distortedclouds is the very first AA fanfic I've read ! It is a deep dive into Annie's relationship with her father (amongst other things). And boi i BINGED ... It depicts abusive relationships and its side effects very accurately. And i think Distordedclouds's interpretation of Annie and her trauma is very much on point ! It sparkled my curiosity into reading more fics for sure.

► Aruani in fort Salta series and Village by the end of the world by @moonspirit. Is a serie of events following the rumbling and its resulting responsibilities for the Alliance, more especially Armin. Stories about love, grief, self hate, insecurities and work/life balance. I cried for the first time reading fiction with this... And i relate to Armin very much... Y-Y It definitely confirmed that there is a lot of talented writers out there i needed to check out !

► Neverland of (our) desires by @annawayne. Is a one shot about the canon events succeeding the boat scene. If i had a word to describe Anna 's writing, as a noobie reader and non-writer, i think it would be a caress on the cheek. So even if there was angst and heart string pulled, i felt at peace.... And it has pretty pictures so i'm sold- I also started My yellow light in your soft whispers recently but i'm still at the very begining !

► Tangerine Skies and Muffled Cries by @midnightraine131 is a one shot about cadets Armin and Annie sneaking out from duty on a very special evening. It's very sweet and fluffy ! The idea of them sneaking out together makes me all giggly, and i had my share of "aww" moments~

► All the things that could have been by @mimiwrites2000 explores the thougths of a tipsy Armin during his party time with the scouts back in Marley. I really felt his angst and languish and it hurt me in a very good way ;v; ♥

► By each crimes and kindness (i'm bound to you) by @aruanimess tells the story of cadets Armin and Annie slowly falling for each other and the internal turmoil it might bring. The teen angst is really present and, ooooh i'm sooo here for it !! I was on the edge of my seat everytime they met !

► On the path that led me to you by @the-last-thread-of-my-sanity is also a story taking place during cadet training where Armin and Annie explore their blooming feelings for each other. It has a lot of very sweet moments in a very clumsy-teenagey way and i love it !

Oh hey look, i have more than 5- I have a soft spot for canon compliant/post canon stories, so that's what i tend to read first i suppose. But there's a lot more i have yet to discover. I haven't even started AUs yet... but i will at some point! bear with me, i read slowly ): Anyways, here you go ! i tried to keep it relatively short sorry fhdhs ;;

#y'all probably know all of them but hey #ask #Someone asking me for my fave fics feels like... a teacher asking for my homework #when i very obviously did not do the homework #It is very specific but very accurate to me -#i can't english have mercy

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713-4th-ward-g · 6 months

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#now my aunt is in remission...#a lot is happening and i feel the loneliest I've felt since high school #I've only been getting worse since my family denied what i went through and sat there and told me i wasn't probably remembering it correctly #i know what it was like growing up even if it comes back to me in spurts..#but they really have started to make me doubt myself and its the worse cause they never apologized for the neglect and abuse #and they all took their side and acted like i was mistaken and said “ i never saw it happened do it didn't happen #and now i dont even talk to the only two friends i had cause i dont feel the same #if i don't text them first they never ever message me first or even check on me #and im always the one being there for them and listening to them and im just tired lf it all #i dont want a future anymore and im slowly losing my grip ive held on do tight even at my loneliest and now i feel like im losing #i was never anyone's best friend and everyone of the people ive called friends were always closer to someone else #ive only always had myself but im losing hope for the future and i just feel so extremely empty again #i just want to end this feeling and the weed isnt working anymore and working out doesnt work... i need God ive been so far away from him..#Im just slowly losing it more and more im tired of being the friend everyone goes to for advice and laughs or enjoyment #im tired of it so much #the only time i feel joy is the bliss i feel when i sleep and even that joy is never truly felt cause i constantly fight my sleep #i only sleep when my body forced it self to cause i can't naturally just go to sleep st s set time anymore..#im so tired of being people's escape or advice person I'm probably only saying this for the overwhelming feeling #of being a colossal failure and disappointment even so i still try snd try and fail some more #why don't i quit I just dont know why its just something in me that has some glimmer of self hope ive only tried to kms once and failed #maybe ima bit glad i failed but apart of me laughs cause i even failed at kms and find it ironic cause i fail at so many things #im so incapable of salvaging some semblance of normality or consistency #Mr.inconsistent that i am and have been but i refuse to let myself end that way i have to fight for something even in this haze of mine..#i just want to be better why cant i get better and stay good.. maybe it hurts more than i let on finally speaking of what happened #and for them to deny it may have really affected me a lot snd i am just now seeing it manifest it self now ...#i just gotta live with it and just TRY to do better every single day snd in every single situation snd action i take...

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roobylavender · 5 months

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if i really scratch my head i think maybe the one thing all of this could stem from is mere discussion of the fact that talia and selina's histories with bruce sort of operate in the reverse and inevitably that factors into any contention with either relationship. like it can't really be helped that bruce and talia were married very early on into the latter's history and that this is integral to analyzing talia's entire dynamic with bruce, her evolving perception of her own place in the world, and her eventual decision to break free of bruce entirely. the constraints of a marriage with bruce as desired by her father are foundational lore to the early aughts of her character in a way that selina's settled domestic life with bruce is not. if we're talking about the golden age what was foundational to selina's dynamic with bruce was his ability to recognize above everyone else her consistent capacity for mercy despite her villainous goals on the surface. in post-crisis that was translated along the lines of a class struggle specifically. the villainous goals were interpreted to represent a defiance of men and the state and their collective violence, and they also formed a means of survival. what was initially merely a recognition of selina's capacity for mercy now became a potential recognition of bruce's own hypocrisies. selina acted as a symbol for petty criminals in gotham whom bruce would otherwise have written off as immoral wholesale bc to him the law was the law. and the remarkable thing about it was that none of it required selina giving even an inch to bruce. she was who she was and that was what made her utterly compelling to him. it's not a slight against selina that neither marriage nor a close civilian relationship formed the basis of her relationship with bruce and i don't understand why anyone would take it as one. marriage and domestic life for talia was a mark of the utter tragedy of her relationship with bruce. it was a fantasy and a delusion and it could never have given her what she wanted nor lent her any kind of agency in the long term. and i think when we meander into the realm of comparing the relationships we really start to diminish why certain aspects are important to either. why are the various patriarchal restrictions on talia's agency so integral to her character arc and its exploration of freedom? why is selina's existence in a sphere of life entirely distinct of bruce so integral to her character arc and its exploration of class? the constant back and forth between shippers on either end trying to equalize in terms of what either relationship has gone through in canon like it's a checklist to romantic validity is a bit absurd and i wish we would move away from it when analyzing the relationships or the characters

#it reminds me a bit of when i said that i think selina becoming a millionaire was a stupid development #that was insulting to everything newell and grant and moench had tried to build up about her in the early 90s #and people got upset and called me a hypocrite bc talia is rich. like my guy. can i help it that talia is rich #i can't erase her foundational character traits to make some sort of even playing field..#and frankly the fact that she and bruce are rich /is/ precisely what drives the whole argument about duty between them #they are in no position to complain or grow tired or languish in their reams of wealth #there is a duty they owe to the world while they have power and they have to suck it up and uphold that duty #it is the absolute least they can do and they know that. hence why talia is repeatedly on bruce's ass about it #it is also not lost on me that the above complaint may largely stem from the lazarus affair #where talia was portrayed to be ridiculously haughty and more than willing to show off her wealth #even though she didn't do that in like. any other comic in her pre-assassination era #and the lazarus affair as i have said so many times was a ridiculous comic anyways bc it setup talia and selina to be #combative ship fodder to fuel disagreements between dick and bruce. it is literally the first comic where they were ever #pit against each other. despite the fact that they had co-existed in harmony for a decade prior #and denny o'neil had gone so far as to establish both of them as bruce's definitive love interests in the 70s #like idk man it's not hard to entertain a little more critical thinking and poke at why the comparisons between them are nonsensical #a lot of it. a Lot of it. is stemming from people wanting either ship to one up the other. and you shouldn't fall for it #to be deleted #anyway. not making this rebloggable bc i'm sure you're all annoyed already but this whole thing has really confused me. so i've rambled

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grasshoppergeography · 5 months

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Hey All,

I've been away for some time, as we've been working really hard on something quite exciting:

let me present to you the world's first ever global ocean drainage basin map that shows all permanent and temporary water flows on the planet.

This is quite big news, as far as I know this has never been done before. There are hundreds of hours of work in it (with the data + manual work as well) and it's quite a relief that they are all finished now.

But what is an ocean drainage basin map, I hear most of you asking? A couple of years ago I tried to find a map that shows which ocean does each of the world's rivers end up in. I was a bit surprised to see there is no map like that, so I just decided I'll make it myself - as usual :) Well, after realizing all the technical difficulties, I wasn't so surprised any more that it didn't exist. So yeah, it was quite a challenge but I am very happy with the result.

In addition to the global map I've created a set of 43 maps for different countries, states and continents, four versions for each: maps with white and black background, and a version for both with coloured oceans (aka polygons). Here's the global map with polygons:

I know from experience that maps can be great conversation starters, and I aim to make maps that are visually striking and can effectively deliver a message. With these ocean drainage basin maps the most important part was to make them easily understandable, so after you have seen one, the others all become effortless to interpret as well. Let me know how I did, I really appreciate any and all kinds of feedback.

Here are a few more from the set, I hope you too learn something new from them. I certainly did, and I am a geographer.

The greatest surprise with Europe is that its biggest river is all grey, as the Volga flows into the Caspian sea, therefore its basin counts as endorheic.

An endorheic basin is one which never reaches the ocean, mostly because it dries out in desert areas or ends up in lakes with no outflow. The biggest endorheic basin is the Caspian’s, but the area of the Great Basin in the US is also a good example of endorheic basins.

I love how the green of the Atlantic Ocean tangles together in the middle.

No, the dividing line is not at Cape Town, unfortunately.

I know these two colours weren’t the best choice for colourblind people and I sincerely apologize for that. I’ve been planning to make colourblind-friendly versions of my maps for ages now – still not sure when I get there, but I want you to know that it’s just moved up on my todo-list. A lot further up.

Minnesota is quite crazy with all that blue, right? Some other US states that are equally mind-blowing: North Dakota, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming. You can check them all out here.

Yes, most of the Peruvian waters drain into the Atlantic Ocean. Here are the maps of Peru, if you want to take a closer look.

Asia is amazingly colourful with lots of endorheic basins in the middle areas: deserts, the Himalayas and the Caspian sea are to blame. Also note how the Indonesian islands of Java and Sumatra are divided.

I mentioned earlier that I also made white versions of all maps. Here’s Australia with its vast deserts. If you're wondering about the weird lines in the middle: that’s the Simpson desert with its famous parallel sand dunes.

North America with white background and colourful oceans looks pretty neat, I think.

Finally, I made the drainage basin maps of the individual oceans: The Atlantic, the Arctic, the Indian and the Pacific. The Arctic is my favourite one.

I really hope you like my new maps, and that they will become as popular as my river basin maps. Those have already helped dozens of environmental NGOs to illustrate their important messages all around the world. It would be nice if these maps too could find their purpose.

#maps reimagined #geography #cartography #maps #my art #rivers of the world #ocean drainage basins #ocean maps #river maps

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cocklessboy · 10 months

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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+#trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

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primofate · 1 month

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Drop the towel wrapped around you and appear naked in front of your Genshin husband

In a nutshell: That old tiktok challenge/prank. In your private, shared home of course.

Warnings: My perpetual warning as a writing mother is that I am sleep deprived. Very VERY sleep deprived. SUGGESTIVE: BORDERING ON NOT SAFE FOR WORK, written on a 10 minute timer please be gentle

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Cyno, Diluc, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Wriothesley, Xiao, Zhongli, implied fem!reader

Personal Favourites: Tighnari

Aether

chokes on nothing

"Y-Y-Y/N?! What're you doing?"

Comes up to you and tries to cover you up with the towel again, as if it was a sin to look at you naked in broad daylight.

Full on blush on his face and respectfully tries to look away.

"Don't surprise me like that!"

Seems not to like it but actually likes it too much to the point of getting embarrassed for himself.

Yes he's your husband but is still a precious respectful man

Albedo

Blinks a couple of times but appreciates your beauty and gives your body a slow once over. Chuckles in amusement afterwards.

"Is there a reason for this?"

Just to get his reaction, you admit.

"Well..." starts walking towards you. "I do have higher self-control than most others... but let it be known that I'm far from immune to my..."

Stops in front of you and yet again seems to eat you up with his eyes. "...needs," ends with a suspiciously sweet smile.

Alhaitham

Can't help but be a bit surprised and you can see it by the way his eyebrows go up as soon as the towel hits the floor.

Opens his mouth to say something but closes it again, as if hesitating, which is really strange for someone like him.

"...Is this the part where I sweep you off your feet and carry you to our room?" there's a bit of amusement in his tone. Stands to walk over to you.

Places a hand on your waist.

"Cause I can guarantee you that we DON'T need to be in our bedroom for things to happen...but you knew that already, right?"

Ayato

Quirks his eyebrows up, amused smile appearing on his face.

"I must say, this is a lovely surprise,"

Traces your figure with his eyes. Then approaches you to hold your waist and dip in to kiss your neck softly.

"How could I ever resist, my love, when you're standing in front of me in all your magnificence?"

Takes the longest time just admiring and basking in your beauty, tracing every little part of your skin.

Baizhu

Lets pretend the snake ain't here okay?

Does a double take.

"Y/N, first off, you'll get a cold,"

Pushes his spectacles up and gives you a once over.

"Second, you'll give me a heart attack,"

Beckons you over gently with his hand. "Come over, I suppose it's been a while since...I've done a full body check,"

Hides a grin.

Cyno

Blankly looks at you and is still processing what is happening

"Y/N? Is this... Did I do something?"

Is so suspicious that this was some kind of trap.

You tell him its simply to get a reaction out of him.

Immediately shoots out of his seat and catches your wrist.

"Then...Is it my turn to get one out of you? There's several ways to do that...and I know your favourite ones,"

Diluc

Eyes follow the towel down to the floor and head snaps back up to blink at the sight in front of him. Recovers quickly.

Chuckles as he stands and walks over. Picks up the towel and drapes it around your shoulders. "Only because it's quite chilly tonight,"

but still ends up inching the towel off your shoulder, tracing your collarbone. "Although, as your husband, I suppose it IS my job to keep you warm... So how would you like it today, love?"

Itto

"WHOA!" by instinct covers his eyes with his hands but his fingers are actually splayed apart so he can totally see through the gaps

Feels himself getting aroused

I mean the guy gets turned on even just at the sight of your neck

Suddenly stands and walks over to you, easily hoists you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and makes a beeline to your shared room.

"You're asking for it Y/N!"

Kaeya

"Oho?"

Sits back and relaxes, he doesn't really know what he was expecting. Some type of show maybe. "What's this? Finally giving me that lap dance you owe me, snowflake?"

Laughs but you're incredibly flustered at the suggestion.

Beckons you over and grabs you by the waist to sit on his lap.

"Feel that?" he whispers in your ear.

Oh you feel it alright, pressing at your upper thigh.

"Now whose fault is that? You'll have to do something about it now, love,"

Kaveh

"Archons!"

Looks away with a blush on his cheeks.

"Put something on!"

Yes he's seen you naked before, you're married, but the guy's always flustered in unexpected events.

You provoke him further by coming over, sitting sideways on his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Y/N!" He looks down at you and can't help but look at your nakedness in full and close view.

Gulps but starts to feel his body heat up, his hands suddenly, assertively planting themselves on your waist as he meets your eyes. "I don't care what you say about yourself, but know that you're the only one who takes me from 0 to a 100 in a second,"

Kazuha

"Y/N?" Chuckles nervously and takes in the sight of your body.

Smiles at you and takes your hand to kiss the back of it.

"I've seen you countless of times... Each time, I'm reminded by how fortunate I am that you chose me to take care of you,"

Caresses your cheek all the way down to your jawline. "You're beautiful, Y/N,"

He has the most tender and gentle look on his face, but its mixed with a passion that you've never seen on anyone before. "Let me show you how much I love you, dear,"

Neuvillette

Eyebrows twitches upwards in surprise. Has no clue what to do in this new situation.

He doesn't say anything but is most definitely enjoying the view of your body. You see his jaw tense up, as if he's clenching his teeth.

"Ahem," he starts. Then seems to have the most trouble prying his eyes away to meet your gaze. "Is this...perhaps another way to tell me... that you would like some attention?"

You say not really and just wanted to see how he would react.

"Ah," he lets out, as if understanding and as if the conversation has ended.

A moment of silence passes and you're starting to wonder if that was all he was going to do. But he then stands and places a gentle hand on your bare waist. "...So you're simply doing it, as people would say, 'for fun'?"

He asks, and you say yes innocently. He smiles a bit and has another hand cupping your face and thumbing your lips. "I see," breathes out slowly.

"Unfortunately, for your actions, the Iudex feels that a punishment is in order,"

Scaramouche

Raises one eyebrow as if he's bored. Then smirks.

"If you wanted it, all you had to do was ask," pulls you by the waist and makes you straddle him "But this is good too,"

Hands actually start to grope you up and down. Will fondle and squeeze in private places immediately.

"What? Startin' to feel good? S'what you get when you play games with me,"

will smack your butt the first chance he gets

Tartaglia

Immediately jumps up and in an automatic daze, eyes glued to his favourite parts, trudges towards you and attempts to bury himself in softness.

You quickly stop him and in turn HE quickly stops you. Hands easily bunching your wrists up together and angling them upwards above your head.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he grins down at you. "Someone's being naughty,"

You complain that he reacts too fast.

Laughs, but his hand starts to unbuckle his pants and there's a dark look in his eyes. "Oh, I'm just being naughty back. When you want something, Y/N, believe it when I say I'll GIVE it to you,"

Tighnari

ear twitches. Tail swishes back and forth. Does not show any expression except slight curiosity.

"What's the occasion?"

You tell him that you just wanted to see his reaction.

He hums and nods slowly, like processing some type of complicated information.

"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute,"

You ask him where he's going and you're a bit upset at the lack of response from him.

He chuckles and returns to you, tail angling upwards in an attempt to wrap and brush against your waist. Takes your hand, presses your wrist against his lips and seems to take a slow breath in.

"I'm merely clearing off my schedule for today. Now, be patient, I'll be back,"

Wriothesley

Almost spits out his drink but gulps it all down instead.

Eyes widen a fraction at the sudden act but his hand is already loosening his tie.

"Wait right there precious," chuckles while he says this, tie already falling to the ground, now unbuttoning his vest. At the same time walks over to you urgently as if you're going to disappear but laughs nervously while he's at it.

"I swear you'll be the death of me,"

Looks like he's going to pounce on you but when he reaches you he only gives you a chaste kiss, as if asking for permission first.

You suddenly remind him that he has a LOT of things to do today, appointments and all.

Actually barks out a quick laugh. "You're not really expecting me to walk out now? As far as I'm concerned," pulls you flush against him and kisses your jaw "The only thing I need to do today is you,"

Xiao

"Wh-Wh-What do you think you're doing?!"

caught unprepared. Crosses his arms and looks away. Pretends he's uninterested but his eyes still dart back to look at you.

You ask him if he likes what he sees.

He now completely looks away from you. A few seconds pass and when he turns his head back to look at you there's now a carnal look in his eyes.

He walks towards you slowly and captures your chin to tilt it up. Looks down at you as if he hasn't eaten a meal in days.

"...When I'm done with you tonight you'll get your answer,"

Zhongli

Chuckles. Amused.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, dear?"

You shrug and even do a turn for him. He watches you carefully and takes in the image in front of him.

Smiles and strides over towards you. "Truly a magnificent sight," brushes his fingers against your neck

His eyes trail downwards and isn't shy about looking at your body. "Might I remind you my dear, my stamina surpasses that of a normal human," he smiles at you sincerely.

You tell him that you're well aware. He just chuckles again.

"Then you know well what'll come next,"

End

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oddinary4bts · 3 months

Text

To Give a Helping Hand | jjk

☆summary: when Jungkook comes home from the gym, he goes feral thinking about you.

☆pairing: idol!Jungkook x female reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: smut, idol!au

☆warnings: unedited, curses, explicit content: masturbation. that's it, that's the whole thing. Cumshot on his hand tattoos. Jungkook is hella horny for reader and jerks off thinking about her - fantasies of oral sex (male and female receiving), of unprotected sex, of rough sex, of hickeys and marking (scratches on the back), of shower sex, of spanking, of choking, of creampies, of clit play, of fingering and squirting. Multiple orgasms, lowkey pain kink and praise kink (let me know if I forgot something)

☆word count: 1.8k (I think it's the shortest thing I've ever written on here lmao)

☆a/n: pure unedited sins bc mr jeon jungkook makes me horny despite being in the army. hope this doesn't disappoint lmaooo thank you to @wintaerbaer for her help with the banner (it would have been a horrible mess without your guidance) and for encouraging me to write this!! love you Ari <3333

☆☆☆☆☆

You’re driving him insane.

You. Are. Driving. Him. Insane.

Insane.

Every time Jungkook sees you at the gym, he goes insane. Completely, utterly, insane. He thinks there has to be a better word in the dictionary to describe what you do to him but, alas, he can’t find it.

So insane it is, and he tries to live up to the name.

He’s been home for five minutes, and he’s already in his bed, dick so hard he thinks it’ll explode. Because of course you had to be doing squats today, in those way too tight biker shorts that leave nothing to the imagination. Your thick ass, stretching the fabric so much he thinks he spied a thong underneath…

Jungkook grunts, hiding his eyes behind his arm, trying to erase the picture from his mind. But he can’t. You’re everywhere – behind his closed eyelids, or a ghost in his room when he opens his eyes again.

It’s been that way since the very first day he saw you at the gym. Jungkook caught sight of you and immediately had a boner, which hadn’t happened to him since he was a teenager. He’s a grown man, for fuck’s sake, yet the sight of you turns him on far more than anything ever has.

You’re just… perfect. Too hot, your body perfectly sculpted by the hours you spend at the gym every week. Jungkook dreams of dragging his hands, his tongue, on every inch of your body. Of caressing your hard-earned muscles, of gripping the meat of your ass…

Of grinding into you and hearing the little breathy moans he’s sure that you make in the thralls of passion.

Fuck.

If he’s honest, he would have fucked you that first time. Would have approached you and charmed you, seduced you until he’d have you writhing under his body. But one look – one damn look – at your keychain, and he knew you were off limits.

The bright pink Kooky plushie hanging from the keychain was a firm reminder that he cannot approach you, ever. Indeed, he doesn’t mix pleasure with work, which is starting to prove increasingly hard as he gets more famous, and as his fans grow way too numerous.

As his fans, as you pretend that you don’t recognize him when you go to the gym, even though he catches you looking at him all the time. Yet he can’t approach you, won’t approach you, ever. But nothing stops him from exploring his dirty little fantasies, whenever he wraps his hand around his cock…

Jungkook grunts, and he decides to take manners into his own hands, literally. He wishes it’d be your hand, gripping his cock once he’s pushed his shorts and underwear down. Wishes you’d hold him tight as you’d jerk him off slowly, eyes never leaving his.

He imagines you taking him in your mouth. Your plump lips, wrapping around the tip of his cock, sucking once as he’d fist your hair, restraining himself from thrusting in your mouth. Or maybe you’d give him the go to fuck your mouth, to unleash himself on you…

Jungkook moans, and he jerks himself off, slowly. Eyes closed as he imagines everything he wants you to do to him, everything he wants to do to you. His hand is not nearly enough to pleasure him, not when he’s been craving you the way that he has…

But it’ll make do.

Spitting in his other hand, Jungkook holds his dick up to rub the natural lube on the head of his cock. He winces – he’s already so damn sensitive… Probably because he’s sported a semi since he saw you at the gym.

Who gave you the right to go to the gym in those shorts, with only a sports bra to pair with them? You looked devilish, downright sinful, and you’ve dragged him to hell.

Once his dick is lubed up, glistening in the dim light from the hallway because he sure as hell didn’t have time to turn the lights on in his room, Jungkook strokes himself, slowly. Tattooed fingers firmly wrapped around his cock, just the way he likes it – right under the tip, hard enough to hurt just a little bit.

Hard enough to make him wish he was fucking your tight pussy instead. He imagines the drag of your walls on his dick, on his veins and on the ridge of his tip. He imagines your breasts bouncing up and down as you’d ride him, and then your face, contorted in pleasure, as he’d jackhammer into you.

He’s had noise complaints from his neighbours once, because of the loud singing he does once in a while, when he goes live for his fans. Right now, he wishes he’d get a noise complaint because they’d hear him fucking you good, fucking you until you’d crumble into ecstasy.

He picks up the pace on his dick, free hand grabbing at the white sheet of his bed. Would you be the type to moan unabashedly loud? To say his name when you come, when your walls flutter on his dick?

The thought makes his dick twitch in his hand, and Jungkook grunts again, curses underneath his breath. He doesn’t even know your name, but he sure as hell knows he’d come with your name a litany on his lips, a sinful melody he’d sing just for you to hear.

Would you drag your nails on his back, marking him so that the world knows you’re his? Would you suck on his neck, leave hickeys behind that he’d have to hide under foundation? Would you beg for him, or would you be a brat?

He wants you to be a brat. He wants to have to put you back into your place, to spank your ass and choke you until all you know is his name. He’d be feral with you – he’s feral just thinking about you. And maybe one day he’ll betray his number one rule, maybe one day he’ll fuck you into the night, hear you cry with pleasure as he’d pump his load inside of you…

His imagination is running wild, and his pace on his dick is relentless, unforgiving. His bicep burns already, even though he’s barely started. Or maybe he’s just too lost in his fantasies, losing track of time. But he doesn’t care – he’d lose track of time fucking you, too.

“Fuck,” he moans, eyes closed tightly, eyebrows bunched together as if in pain. But he’s not hurting – he feels way too good, the pleasure running through his blood a symphony every cell inside of him is addicted to.

You’re just too beautiful to him. He’d fucking crawl on his knees for you, or maybe he’d make you crawl. He’d force you to crawl, to beg for him, to…

Jungkook grunts loudly, his orgasm hitting so hard it feels like a trainwreck. He doesn’t slow down his pace on his dick right away, letting his cum spurt out and drip on his fingers, on the back of his hand. He doesn’t even care if he makes a mess – he’s lost to his pleasure, and he doesn’t want to come back to sanity. He wants to stay insane, and so he drags his orgasm out, milks it out of himself.

And he comes a lot, painting his whole fucking hand white. He’d think it to be disgusting, but when he looks down at his hand, fuzzy from his blissed-out pupils, he sees that he’s covered his tattoos with cum. His army tattoo – the closest he’ll get to come on you. He curses at the sight, hates that it’s turning him on again and that his dick twitches, begging for more. But all he does is watch the cum – it covers the three first letters, but it’s slowly dripping towards the y, and soon the whole tattoo will be covered, like he fucking wishes your pussy would be covered with his cum, dripping with it. He’d finger you with it.

Fucking hell.

Jungkook gives in to the unrelenting desire once he’s in the shower, trying to clean himself. A single thought of your thick ass and the stretched fabric of your biker shorts sends him back to square one, and he jerks himself off again, fast and hard, his free hand leaning on the wall. He’s quick to shift and put his forearm against the wall instead, hiding his face in his arm. And then he imagines fucking you in this shower, taking you from behind as your ass cheeks shake from his ministrations. He imagines you trying to find purchase on the wall, your hands slipping until he pulls you back into his chest. He’d hold you tight, wrap a hand around your neck, and he’d find your clit with his other hand.

He’d make you come so fucking hard. All night long. He doesn’t think he’d let you even fucking walk out of his apartment. He’d fuck you seven days a week, wouldn’t even leave his bed.

This time, his release hits differently, not as strong. It still fills his blood with ecstasy, and his head swims as he watches his cum go down the drain. His hand, his tattoos, are mostly clean this time around, and he imagines them covered in your cum instead. In your sleek juices as he’d finger you, making you squirt everywhere…

He curses loudly, turning the shower to cold, immediately wincing as the water hits his back. But it’s the only way he thinks he’ll manage to chase his arousal away. Hell, he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his fucking evening masturbating. Though it’d be worth it, and he’s fully aware that he’d be able to. He’d just need to think of you, and he’d be ready to go again.

But when he steps out of the shower, he decides otherwise. He decides to go live – are you watching him, from wherever it is that you live in this city? Do you know that you make him insane, so, so insane that he just came twice to the thought of you?

He smirks, watching the comments coming in even though he hasn’t said anything yet. They fly too fast for him to be able to read anything, but he knows.

He knows that you’re there, on the other side of the screen, watching him as he watches you. Where else would you be?

And he knows damn well that next time he’ll see you, he’ll talk to you. Fuck the rules, fuck the fact that you’re his fan. He needs to fuck you, to know what your pussy taste like and how you sound when you come.

So next time he sees you, instead of jerking himself off alone, Jungkook knows he’ll ask you to give a helping hand.

☆☆☆☆☆

Welcome to the land of sinning lmao hope you enjoyed this short ride! Let me know what you thought - it always motivates me to write more stuff like this ;)

#to give a helping hand #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook #jjk smut #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fic #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #btswritersclub

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