#but I am more hurt than anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jochasada · 2 years

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Disclaimer: I love Kang Seo Joon with all my heart.

But boy, if you were one of my best friends, I would have told you to get your head out of your ass.

Sleeping outside his ex’s house, eating his food in his restaurant, integrating himself with all of Ji Woo’s loved ones - these behaviours are not normal. In fact, if it was anyone besides Seo Joon doing this, we would call it stalking.

It’s terrifying to see how dependant he is on Ji Woo. It is terrifying knowing how badly his mental health suffered and how his abandonment issues clearly worsened. It is of course not helped by the way Ji Woo left either, so thanks for that bud.

If this was real life, I would want Seo Joon to learn to be himself without Ji Woo. I would want him to realise he can stand on his own two feet and not need anyone. Instead, his unhealthy attachment may be romanticised.

I really hope his abandonment issues aren’t swept under the rug. I feel he is overdue completely exploding on Ji Woo (and according to the trailer we know that will be happening). No one can just take all this pain and do nothing but continue chasing the person who caused. No one - not even Kang Seo Joon.

I want someone to remind him that it is okay to feel these ugly emotions and to show them. Honesty is more than showing people your vulnerability. Honesty is being true to yourself about the hurt and anger you are feeling and communicating that. It is being true about your intentions and it is about knowing what you are worth.

Kang Seo Joon is worth so much more than camping outside his ex’s house, eating his food and forcing a place in his life. Kang Seo Joon is worth an honest and open love. I hope Han Ji Woo will be able to give that to him, but right now, he is too emotionally immature for that. It hurts but Kang Seo Joon needs to walk away with his final words to Ji Woo being:

“What you did to me is the worst thing a lover can do. Don’t use these words and my pain to allow yourself to pity yourself and hate yourself, so that you continue to stay away from me. Use my pain to open your eyes to what I am worth: An explanation. My pain shouldn’t have to do that for you; I should have been worth it from the start. If you can’t say it, then write it. Don’t keep me in a limbo like this, I won’t survive it.”

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beanghostprincess · 3 months

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Sanji snapping at his dearest most beloved Nami-swan just because they don't know where Usopp is and he's worried sick makes my mind go to places I didn't know it could

#it's like 2 am so i'll make a more detailed post about the movie tomorrow but #sanji in this movie fucking killed me in so many ways and there's so much to unpack #like obviously i wanna talk about luffy and the usonami fight (BECAUSE THAT HURT MORE THAN ANYTHING TBH) but #but sanji is my sweetie pie so i'm gonna make it about him first #i know they are all extremely nervous and stressed and angry bc it's exactly what baron wants but you know.....#sanji saying it's luffy's fault that they're there and kind of yelling at nami to then proceed to get back usopp's hat?? i am going to die #ughh i love this movie so much so much so much i am going to obsess over this for days #one piece #black leg sanji #nami #usopp #sanuso #baron omatsuri and the secret island

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hadesknockedupintheunderworld · 4 months

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That scene towards the end of the S3 trailer

The one where Shadow is running to save Sonic from disappearing

What if by that scene, the main conflict is changed? Nine is no longer actively trying to get ahold of Sonic, to drain the paradox prism energy from him. Just like Shadow and his focus on saving Green Hill over the Shatterverse before, he concedes that *nothing* will exist if they can't fix the paradox prism (assuming that the crew comes to the conclusion that they need to fix the paradox prism to have a chance at fixing the rapid breakdown of the shatterverse).

What if after episodes of fighting Nine and avoiding having his prism energy taken from him, Sonic gives himself over willingly. Nine has just realized how far he took things, how tunnel visioned he became on a goal with the sacrifice of things (and a person) he cared about. What if he feels guilty, resolved to help fix the universe they live in before anything else, and Sonic *asks* him to drain the energy this time?

And no matter what Shadow or Nine or anyone else says, no matter how uncertain doing so would make Sonic's fate uncertain and put it at stake, they can't refute the argument. Doing this could kill him (just like back on Ghost Hill, when Sonic asked for Nine to give him energy to match that of the prismatic titan), but is there any other way to save the shatterverse?

I'm not sure what the answer is myself, but perhaps they hope so. They're running out of time, and if they can't fix it, all of them will die. So, they all form a plan.

What if Nine feels this guilt as he drains the prism energy from Sonic? What if he feels more awful (and a little jealous) when it's up to Shadow to ultimately save him (because Shadow's the only other one who can move quite as fast)?

What if Shadow runs and runs, desperate too to make sure that Sonic won't die? What if he's frustrated at Nine and Sonic (because why did it have to come to this?), but also frustrated at himself (because maybe if he could have been there with Sonic, or maybe if he was the one searching the shatterspaces before, maybe he could have stopped all this before it went too far, maybe he could have kept Sonic safe from this fate)?

What if Shadow enters that shatterspace with Sonic in his arms, hoping so badly he'll pull through, trying not to think about what'll happen if he doesn't?

And what if Nine is the next to enter the shatterspace, arriving before anyone else? What if Nine watches Shadow hold Sonic's barely existing form and feels a pang of jealousy, and a waterfall of guilt. What will he do if Sonic doesn't pull through?

#sonic prime #sonic prime season 3 spoilers #putting that tag cause of trailer talk #sonic the hedgehog #nine sonic prime #miles nine prower #nine the fox #shadow the hedgehog #Sonadow #Sonine #i just be ramblin #This is more a prediction than anything (and also a method of hurting myself with feelings)#How convinced am I this prediction is correct? Ehhhhh 30% maybe #I have no way of knowing what's going to come next. My only predictions for that scene are this‚ or Nine (tunnel visioned) does manage #to drain the energy from Sonic during his campaign‚ and Shadow puts everything else aside to rush him to make everything okay.#So basically I either think Shadow's role was in a plan to extract the energy to save the shatterverse AND save Sonic #or that Sonic gets his energy extracted and Shadow has to save him on the fly #With how warped his goals may be becoming‚ I kind of hope Nine goes down a kh1 Riku route‚ where consequences force him to step back and #realize all he'd done and hurt in the sake of fulfilling a goal that wasn't necessarily his original one. I want him to feel so guilty for #hurting the hedgehog who was kindest to him back then #I love when feelings guys #I love when regret #I love the idea of Nine and Shadow putting aside their differences to save Sonic AND the shatterverse #sonic prime spoilers

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haunted-xander · 7 months

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Girls when they are irreperably shaped by their circumstances

+ the sketch bc I liked it :3

#i will never be normal about ryne ever. i am physically incapable of being normal about her #like she has ALL the things that Get Me in a character #a shitty isolated childhood. family issues. identity issues. guilt and grief. is Special in a way that hurts her more than anything #she has trouble getting that sense of belonging and shes never know how to 'fit in'#be it in society as a whole or even just the little found family shes been integrated to #and also the dichotomy of her being a sweet passive girl who is also badass and uses sick ass daggers #i loooove her so so much #OH ALSO. venat shiva ysayle & minfilias arms are cradling her :) bc she is following in their steps but ALSO is doing it as HERSELF #she is doing it as RYNE and RYNE ONLY #very important #ryne waters #uuum how the FUCK do i tag eden shiva #uh well #shiva #i GUESS #um #eden shiva #????#final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne

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queen0fm0nsterz · 1 year

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A matter of perspective.

#little nightmares #little nightmares 2 #my art #mono #ln mono #little nightmares mono #six #ln six #little nightmares six #six little nightmares #mono little nightmares #you dont understand how ILL i am over them #when they see each other again after six turns back to normal. it should be a crime #the GLARE she sends him #it hurts sm #i love them but they hurt me more than anything else has ever hurted me #explodes them with my mind

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ganondoodle · 1 month

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i really need to defeat the fear in my head that i am exactly the kind of villain fan that the vast majority seems to despise and that once it becomes clear im gonna get hunted down like i have been before

#ganondoodles talks #personal #yes this is about demise #the further i get with chapter twos rough draft the more i have to fight that fear #bc i so often see aggressive posts about hating people making villains into good people and i keep thinking i fall into that #even if demise has barely anything to work with- and in my version the canon appearance is essentially .. not really him anymore #i have as much backstory for him as i have for destiny's entire plot #but in my version hes a deeply bitter and hurt but ultimately soft and kind hearted deity #that constantly is at war with himself bc he wants to embrace the role of being the evil beast hes been accused of being for so long-#-that hes been pushed into by his own doing and the gods playing spiteful tricks to punish him for resisting them-#-and still at the core wanting nothing more but to keep protecting and helping mortals- to fight the gods for them more than for himself #i guess you could sum it up with being torn between being the monster everyone wants him to be and still wanting protect them #both of which ending in the ultimate goal of destroying the gods #......i know i have talked about this before #but as i said i am getting further into the rough draft for chapter 2 so the fear is getting to me again #feel free to ignore weeeeeeeeeeeee

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sysig · 3 months

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Rainbows (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Papyrus #Sans #This rainbow is all out of order - and so many negative glows ah :0 #I didn't mean for them to trend negative! They were just easier to imagine the expressions - maybe I'll take a second pass on the positives #Or in green's case the negative :')#Again in order of when I drew them so kinda all over the place haha #I wanted to go in order! And then I got distracted pft - thus started with red ow :(#Honestly I was thinking of it just being a surprise-pain more than anything lol - like a splinter haha that wouldn't even pierce him!#D'you think that eyeglows could also act like automatic word-responses? Like how we say ''Ow'' when we're surprised but not hurt sometimes #Silly haha #The second is a lot less silly-intended tho more actual pain #It's also sad to think that Sans' red would pretty much have to be sympathy/emotional pain :(#The kind of survivors guilt of not being able to shoulder more but he's so fragile! It's not his fault!#I am quite happy with both of their expressions there tho especially their mouth shapes - and how the colours interact with their eyes #Lineless colours are some of my favourites :) You can tell it's my pencils and not my pen there 'cause it's feathery hehe #For example Edgar's scars are usually with my pen and they have an almost hard-line quality while my pencils are soft :) S'pretty #Switched colours! I unfortunately misremembered what their meanings were oops lol #Well I got them kinda half-right - I like blue as skeptical quite a lot :D I think it suits them both!#Sans as wary and logical and wanting to keep distance to assure his safety and what he can devote energy to - I like it!#And Papyrus using his brother's colour to be grown up in the way that Sans is hehe <3 It's sweet #I misremembered orange lol I assigned blue's alt meaning of ''curiousity'' - orange is meant to be bravery! Oops lol #I think I was thinking of Papyrus' childlike excitement and wanting to know and be involved! Haha #Greeeeens <3 Happy boys happy with each other! I love when they're happy ♥ Interlocked holding hands hehe #Pinks! Along a similar line! I like pink as platonic affection :D And as embarrassment lol but hgg the sweetness! The care and love!#Is my bias showing lol - especially with the bros sleeping on each other haha ♪ They're both happy to know the other is safe!#Couple'a stresses - I like Sans' more I'm not even gonna sugarcoat lol his expression turned out so good haha #And the inverse for the purples! I do like Sans' face but his body :P Papyrus tho - he turned out sad and perfect :')

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the-cat-at-the-theatre-door · 7 months

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"You're so pretty."

Victoria's movements are soft, half formed, as though she'd not quite thought the action out before it started. She feels her ears heat up with embarrassment. It had been happening more often lately - moving before she can think clearly, as though dealing with two separate entities within herself, brain and heart. Perhaps Jennyanydots' amused diagnosis of "twitterpated" was not too far off the mark; there had certainly been enough reasoning to back it up.

Plato blinks, slow and confused, as though being pulled from a dream. And perhaps he was; he'd been staring at Victoria for the better part of an eternity, focused, but very clearly somewhere else. He did that sometimes - disappear somewhere she couldn't quite follow him, eyes hollow and dark. Victoria wishes she knew where he went; perhaps one day he'd tell her.

The staring, she couldn't fault, however; she'd been staring at him right back.

"What?" he asks, furrowing his brow.

"Pretty," Victoria signs again, submitting to having been caught, exaggerating the movement so he'd get it. Perhaps he'd been half paying attention, and only seen the tail end. "You're very pretty."

Plato wasn't much for laughing, Victoria had come to know - smiling, yes; Plato had developed such an easy smile over the year spent with them when they could coax it out of him. Laughing, on the other paw, not particularly, though he was never able to put quite into words why that was. Perhaps he was self conscious of the way it sounded; perhaps he hadn't much in regards to a sense of humour.

Be that as it may, for some reason, that affirmation plasters bewildered scrunches between his brows and his eyes practically disappear under his eyelashes. It even gets that odd, wheezing noise he'd make when particularly amused.

The queen could only be partially annoyed and a teeny bit embarassed - he was very handsome when he smiled, afterall, one fang hanging slightly lower than the other. An in consequential flaw that did nothing, Victoria thinks, flustered, than make him even prettier.

Victoria huffs. "What's funny?"

Plato tosses the motion back haphhazardly, as though brushing the thought aside. "You're funny."

"Not funny." Victoria frowns. "I'm serious."

Plato sobers immediately, smile gone as quickly as it came - it's like a candle being blown out; a night and day difference. The temperature in the clearing seems to cool as he continues to study her. There is an undeniable feeling creeping at the back of Victoria's neck that she may have mis-stepped somewhere, but all she'd said was...

She presses on, feeling an ache begin deep in her chest. She repeats herself, motions firm. "You're very pretty."

"I am not," he says after a long moment. There is an expression on his face that is difficult to read - he does not look embarrassed or pleased, even humbly so; he almost looks as though he is about to cry.

"Yes you ar-"

"You-" he points at her firmly, cutting her off, jaw set. The motion towards her is quick and harsh as a result, unsheathing his claws in the process. He startles as she does, horrified, staring at the space that has swelled between them; he is a breath away from scratching her.

"You," He points to her again after a moment, claw carefully pulled back this time. "Are very pretty. Not me. Look." He motions to the whole of himself, as though that were enough to dissuade her feelings. It only steels her resolve further.

"You look-" she insists, touching her paw pads to the delicate skin of his cheek to demonstrate. Plato flinches as though she'd hit him in retaliation; it looks to have been a struggle for him to resist moving away, but the desire is clearly there. There is fear burning in his eyes -anger and remorse and upset - like a bird trapped in a cage of teeth, waiting for its bones to snap in on themselves after the hunter had toyed with its prey.

Victoria pulls back, tangling her paws in her lap. The ache becomes a gnawing hurt. The fear in Plato's eyes burns hotter, guilt shining just beneath the surface.

"Please." Plato sets his jaw, and the fear fizzles slowly - forcibly - last of the flame suffocated. But he does not get near her again. He is gone to that place she cannot follow. "I cannot...do not lie to me."

"I am not lying," she manages, tears at the precipice of her eyelashes. The silence grows even heavier between them

"Then," he continues at last, breath hitching eyes wide and astonished, and Victoria feels ice settle at the base of her spine. After a moment, his expression dulls again. The smile on his face returns in a flash, a plaster over a wound, but it is bitter, cool. Empty. "You are being cruel? I did not think you had it in you."

#have this half finished nonsense too idk #Plato #Victoria #platoria #my fanfic #fanfiction #plato has body and self worth issues due to years and years of abuse #You walk in another world #Everything that touches you is moonlight and stardust; turns to gold in your grasp #I could only hope that being in your presence should do the same to me #I am stupid to think so #hahaha i'm sad #about this universe i mean #idk if this requires a tw but like plato has a very poor opinion of himself #and he's not mad at victoria - not at all - he is devastated that even she (in his twisted minds eye) would be cruel #and play with his feelings because he can't tell genuineness from a hole in the wall #but thing is victoria is 200% serious and besotted #not meant to imply any abuse or anything like that - macavity is just very close to plato's surface #in more ways than one and it terrifies him that he'll hurt her like macavity hurt everyone else #and the fact that victoria could be cruel in his mind? breaks his heart

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kennyomegasweave · 7 months

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Nick's going to destroy Boston. I don't know if it's going to be intentional or not, but he's going to ruin him and I can't wait.

Boston likes Nick, he likes having sex with Nick, and he thinks Nick's safe. Those are all facts, as far as I'm concerned.

Boston's been sleeping around the whole time him and Nick have been hooking up. There's no reason to have kept Nick around if he didn't actually like to be around him. I think his hookup recording and blackmailing him scared him. His dad's a politician, and even if he's gay friendly, that would be a really bad thing to come out. So I do believe he does just wanna keep it to Nick for a bit because he likes hanging around him, likes the sex, and doesn't think he would do something like that. Everyone thinks Nick's an innocent sweet little guy, whose worst trait is banging Boston, and who would never do anything bad, Boston included.

Which is why Nick's audio is going to wreck him. Not only is he rightfully gonna lose his friends, but he actually seemed to be having Baby's First Real Emotional Growth over Nick and he's gonna get burned badly by that.

I'm excited to see how low he's gonna go once the audio comes out because we saw with the crossfaded fight that he turns into a wounded animal lashing out at everyone when he's hurt. And, when all is said and done, I think Nick, of all people, secretly recording him is gonna hurt him even worse than Top not wanting him.

#only friends #only friends the series #Boston is going to get his shit rocked by Nick #and I think it's gonna hurt more than anything else solely because it came from Nick #and I cannot wait #just adding this tag to say #Boston is my baby and I love him #I am not hating Boston #but he does need to get his shit rocked cause he's being a royal asshole #regular clyde

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maybe-drawing · 1 year

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Aquatown my beloved

Inspired by @atherix Midnight Series

-- Click for better quality! --

#Freddy Draws #midnight series #hermitcraft au fanart #travel poster #Oh i love this one so much #the vibe of aquatown in the series feels a bit different than this but yk #this is what I can do #I am proud tho #didnt even use a gradient map or anything #one critique i have gotten from my friends for the previous ones is that theyre quite lifeless #and thats true bc I wanna focus on background and composition rn #but a little more alive shouldnt hurt #so this one includes some critters!!!#again no sketch bc it so bad

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oveliagirlhaditright · 3 months

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This lack of new Kingdom Hearts content or talk (like showing trailers or what have you) is honestly a mistake on Square Enix's part, I think.

A friend of mine, who's a casual KH fan (probably even more than a casual. He's played most of the games and kind of stays up to date with it through me) told me the other day that he missed when KH was relevant: obviously meaning that he doesn't think it is anymore. And can anyone really argue with that?

I know a lot of the super fans, who would be a part of the fandom rain or shine--whether there was content or not--are the least into it right now than they ever have been before, since there's literally nothing to keep us going.

And I'm aware that the plan has been for Missing Link to come out, and to tide us over with that (but things, sadly, keep getting in the way of that), but I still think putting so much on the shoulders of one single mobile game is questionable at best.

I also feel like they're counting on the momentum of KHIII to carry them forward, since it sold so well. But that was partly because some people were like, "Oh my gosh! That game that's allegedly been in development for thirteen years finally exists?! I'm going to check it out! Especially since I may or may not have played I and II when I was a kid." They're not going to have that same reaction with IV. A lot of people also really didn't like III (and thus might not give IV a chance for that reason), for some reason. And some who were big fans decided to quit after III, as it was the end of the Dark Seekers Chronicles and thus a good stopping point.

I feel like decisions they're making now are going to come back and hurt KHIV. But we'll see, I guess.

#i get the feeling somewhat at square enix (probably the new president) has decided that they can't advertise ffvii rebirth and khiv at the #same time in being afraid they'll compete that way... even though they never really had a problem with this kind of thing before if done ri #*right #but i actually think all this lack of kh is really hurting it more than anything #it could also be. though. that khiv is more far off than we think (like 2026) and THAT'S the reason they're not advertising it: because the #don't want to advertise it too early (even though they did that kind of thing with ffviir so i question that idea)#and if that's the case then that's a whole different problem of: then why the FUCK did they announce the game in 2022 then. anniversary or #not: they should NOT have if there was even a CHANCE it was that far out #but why am i even surprised at any of this? when has square ever been that great at marketing or made the best decisions?

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aro-ortega · 6 months

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i think ortega is someone who wants so much to be right, for his theories to be correct, that he is unwilling to get definitive proof in case he is wrong - and this is why he takes so long to bring up his theory on sidesteps family, and why he doesnt bring up that he suspects them of being the new villain

#idk if this is right at all it is 1245 am i gotta go to BED #but. i just had this thought. idk if this is ic or if theres anything to canon to back it up but. shrug !#specfically he/him pronouns bc i play w ric more than julia and idk of she has the same vibes #also. bc im thinking about milo and ricardo and how hes almost positive shes power but he wont ask he just 🥺s at her #its okay tho shes doing the same to him trying to get him to retire - bc she doesnt want to have to hurt him again #anyway. GOOD NIGHT ITS SO LATE OOPS #ortega #fh #op

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running-in-the-dark · 11 days

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also my ear(drum) is still fucked up and actually it's worse than yesterday. so that's also just so awesome

#I'm having such a good time :)))#I keep trying to pop it and it just HURTS #so bad #it's also very loud #so something is definitely not right but it has happened several times before and always went away on its own so I don't want to waste a #whole day going to the ent doctor again #I've got an appointment in two months I can wait that long #maybe it'll stop happening #but he'd just shrug and say oh well I don't know either 🤷 cause that's happened with everything regarding this stupid ear.#so. it's pointless anyway #but the pain is making me even more annoyed than I already am #it feels like I can't hear anything on that side. but it's actually just extremely muffled.#it's so so so annoying #personal

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kennyswurvegurl · 4 months

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That's it? That's all the endings of Yuppie Psycho?