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#but I am taking it personally

Addie La Rue is a weird reading experience. 

I like the way it is written. I’m into the content of the story. The character is fine. I’m curious about the backstory. What happened in New Orleans? I’m not uninvested. 

But I don’t really want to pick it up again because I am not really into being negged for wanting a quiet life. 

“Oh!” I think, “I could take a walk and listen to more of my audiobook.” 

But there will be lines in there that are pointed little jabs about how my priorities and the things I want make me SMALL and SAD and WITHERED for being so damn OLD. 

and fuck you very much Ms. Schwab. 

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location: fit fittings

date: february 6th

word count: 422

tldr; demi makes an entire para based on one piece of clothing part 2 million. sung isn’t sure if someone is playing a prank on him at this point

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Not my friend saying he had to choose who to invite to a get together - me or my ex best friend- and they choose me and I was like thanks guys but you,,, didn’t need to choose,,,, like me and her don’t talk but I don’t have beef with her especially bad so unless she does ???????

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fuck this fuck everything man! it’s only been two weeks since i had to call the fuckin hotline! like hello? hi? i am allowed to be a goddamn mess i am allowed to still be in pain

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request:

Can you maybe write something with Mark? ✨

ミ✭ WARNINGS: mentions blood, contains minor violence and briefly mentions injuries

Pairing: mark x reader (gender neutral)

Genre: angst (with a happy ending!)

Word count: 5.7k

Yakult says: thank you so much nonie for requesting !! 💙 admittedly, it could be waay angsty-er but, well, i’m happy with it and i sincerely hope you are too! sorry it took a while for me to upload it ://

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hey it’s Mark– dude, shut up! Uhhh what was I saying? Oh yeah, just leave a message and I’ll get back to you whenever I can.”

“Mark? Um, Minhyung? It’s me. Y/n. Look, I know that we haven’t spoken in a long time but you said…”–you shake your head, as if it would miraculously banish the memory from your mind–“no, that doesn’t matter. At least probably not to you. Um, listen, if this is the Minhyung who prefers chocolate covered bananas over chocolate covered strawberries, and who told Youngho that the hideous red shirt with the blue stripes looked good on him, and who helped me count poker chips in Italy, then I really need your help. Please, please call me back.”

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i’m 4 away from 1404 followers and idk that milestone makes me happy to think abt just the branding of it all…george liker things!! /j

but seriously i know a lot of ppl followed me from the 404cord and i just wanna say a big thank you to everyone who has followed me, both old and new please know i appreciate you all so much i’m glad anyone likes me and my blog enough to stick around it’s been so fun to talk about george/mcyt with you all and i’m genuinely grateful i got to meet so many wonderful and funny people in this community i love it here :] love love you all so much 💘

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I’m seeing this bizarre trend on twitter that is “Don’t complain about video games because the devs can see it and it’s discouraging.”

And maybe I’m wrong here (and I’m open to opposing viewpoints), but this seems pretty bizarre to me. Regular people are allowed to talk in public about things they like and don’t like. I obviously don’t mean for people to go harass the devs (seriously, if you are thinking of harassing anyone for any reason, maybe take a step back from the computer and figure out why that seems like a reasonable action to you), but it’s completely normal for people to express such opinions as:

  • I’m disappointed that Bioware is not updating my favorite game
  • I worry that this points to more mismanagement at Bioware
  • I don’t want to play more Bioware games because they disappointed me so deeply with this latest move
  • I’m worried that with all the Anthem people moving to DA4, DA4 will be just as shitty as Anthem

I don’t know the game devs personally. My relationship with Bioware is one of customer who buys a product and hopes to enjoy it. Grumbling about a product in public is very much a normal part of life, and I don’t really get why suddenly this should be banned in the off chance a game dev stumbles across it.

Am I missing something here?

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I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over that specific kind of let down when you’re trying to open up and explain the concept of something specific that you struggle with due to x condition or disorder and people just tell you everyone deals with that

#insert joke of 'I'm built different so i simply wouldn't struggle with x'#like man.. trying to open up and talk about stuff sucks cause no one is taking you seriously#i try to talk about anxiety and am rebuffed with 'everyone gets nervous sometimes'#but does everyone struggle with it so badly that you have to figure out your own loop holes and built yourself through feeling like shit#i try to explain what executive dysfunction is and it's all 'it's not that hard tho just do it'#but the point of what I'm saying is that you just can!! i can't i get stuck halfway through and can't progress on anything!!#i try to open up about depression and how this has been a lifelong thing that's evolved and constantly looms#and i get asked if it's just situational and that I'll get better when I'm out of certain situations#or told that I'm not trying hard enough get out of 'my funk'&that if i truly was so upset at being depressed I'd take efforts more seriously#trying to talk about autism or adhd is the worst because I've spent just under half my life researching it and trying to understand it#and been told by both my family and medical pros (who unfortunately weren't able to diagnose me) that i am??#but because my parents were jack assess and i don't have any diagnosis it's all 'are you actually sure because x person i know..'#even with something like my issues around medical pros..i don't know if it's really accurate but honestly.. my medical trauma#that is fucking concrete!!! yet it still gets argued against!#i was ignored and talked over and kept out of the loop and told I'm not reacting properly#i had illnesses that should've been taken care of when i first went in to get help.. yet they became chronic because i wasn't tended to#in the way that i needed#that is just objective hard fact. yet it was still up for debate apparently#because drs aren't that bad they wouldn't do that#even though the personal evidence I'm giving is past tense#i dunno man I'm really feeling it tonight#i hate being talked over and fucking dismissed and what seems to be purposefully misunderstood
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Online university and exam season had really deprived myself of hobbies or leisure activities in general. Now I am completely overwhelmed and I don’t know what to do because I don’t know where to start. Sew? Knit? Draw? Read? Write? Bike? Run? Bake? Motorcycle? Learn Russian? Play video games? Hike? Woodwork? I’m sitting here totally perplexed, still doing nothing, staring at a wall and absolutely unable to commit or concentrate on any single activity.

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#cheyrants#family tw#suicide mention tw#self harm tw#idk what other tw but yeah#anyways i just need to... idk#i want to talk about it but at the same time idk where to start#and honestly all i want to do is scream. i wanna drive to a cliff and scream and just drop down into the ocean and drown or whatever idrc#i'm just so tired of being alive at this point like....#i'm kinda stuck in the middle cuz rn there's a rift between my mum and my bro#and i'm torn because i want to support them both but they also get on my nerves so much#and like if i side one person then the other will think i'm horrible for not siding with them and it's just too much sometimes???#not to mention the stress from my assignments are driving me insane and i can't focus between that and my family issues#and i'm just caught in this loop of helplessness and i feel like shit and the suicidal thoughts are all coming back and i've apparently#escalated to scratching myself until there are marks now and i honestly dk what i'm doing anymore#but today i couldn't take it and my brother triggered me and i couldn't stop crying during dinner#and my mum in her usual fashion just pinned the blame all on herself like 'oh youre crying so this must be my fault' like no it's not so why#are you blaming yourself for it? you didnt even bother to ask about what made me cry you just assumed it's about you#and then she just kept on rambling on about how it's her fault and how her life has so many problems and now I AM A PROBLEM because i broke#down and then i said 'okay im sorry i wont cry anymore' because idw to be a burden or problem to her but she scoffed and went 'look at your#attitude' like okay so she basically just invalidated my feelings#and then she said smtg along the lines of 'i regret taking custody of you kids' cuz she thinks that my bro and i love my dad a lot but NO#I HATE MY FATHER WITH ALL MY BEING WHY DO YOU CONSTANTLY KEEP ASSUMING THAT I LOVE HIM?? THAT ASSHOLE? WHO BORROWED MONEY? WHO LEFT? AND YOU#EXPECT ME TO LOVE HIM? the same dude who told his own daughter to 'never have kids because they ruin everything'??#idk i just feel like... there's a lot on my chest rn and i constantly can't breathe properly and yeah i guess this anxiety or whatever is#stressing me out more and idk what to... i just feel like shit at home and i feel like shit in school and i just feel so unwanted & unneeded#this rant ended up being about my mum im sorry but this is mostly cuz of my brother... his entire presence is a trigger for my anxiety#which sucks because i dont have a choice but to see him everyday. plus he's an attention seeker so if i try to avoid him he doesnt respectit#she called me out to 'talk' so im gonna be back with a lot of tears again bye
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self-destructive dysphoria coping mechanisms be like *listens to mag165* *listens to mag165* *listens to mag165* *listens to mag165* *listens to mag165* *listens to mag165* *listens to ma

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Hi nonie! This is a fascinating question and aspect to think about in the overall development of BU. I have to say, you have obviously been an army much longer than me! My experience is quite a bit different from you and anyone else who has been around since HYYH or even Wings era. I only discovered and began following BTS in August 2019. By that point, all of the currently-existing MVs/short films were released, in addition to the webtoon, Notes 1, and album-accompanying Notes through Persona. I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I eventually stumbled into the BU video chronology after I began listening to their music and watching whichever videos YouTube recommended to me. I purchased Notes 1 almost on a whim, plopping it into my cart alongside my intended DVD purchase largely thanks to a promo code that gave me free shipping for adding it. (…So a nicely timed promotion changed my life?) If I remember correctly, I delved into the videos in earnest while waiting for the book to arrive, and that really kindled the fire of interest in me. It probably sounds really dramatic to say that reading Notes 1 changed my life, but anyway, here we are today! (devoting I-lose-track-of-how-many-hours-a-week on this blog)

I experienced the revelation of the “real” storyline in a very condensed period of time because of this. I had a very vague awareness of the premise when watching through the MVs the first few times (although no warning for TaeHyung stabbing his father in the full version of I Need U; I was shocked for hours). And yet after reading Notes 1, I also realized that I had picked up some information from the YT comments that turned out to be user theories. So while I didn’t have to wait years to find out what was really going on in BU, I did have a couple moments of disappointment when things did not turn out as expected. I had read what I found to be a very beautiful theory that SeokJin burned the flower petals representing his friends as the means to reset time. (I apologize for not having the reference to the actual YT comment.) Now, that gesture seems to be symbolic. I was also not incredibly thrilled by the reveal that this mysterious cat-like creature granted his ability to experience and remember the loops (though I’m still perplexed by SeokJin’s comment that he heard two different voices in the webtoon when this ability/awareness awakened). I personally found the introduction of that supernatural/mythical element a little jarring (yes, despite the fact that the whole deal is already about time loops), but… I’ve accepted it and moved on. I am sympathetic to anyone who misses the days of mystery and speculation. It can be really enjoyable to engage with open-ended media and formulate your own theories or read the ideas of others!

That being said… while we may have a lot more information than when I Need U first aired (or even older, peculiarly familiar tidbits that have not been officially marked as BU), this story and these characters still have many secrets left to share. Without going into spoiler details, The Notes 2 flung open the doors to at least a couple key mysteries. The mobile game is slowly yet surely fleshing out a world that once lived only on paper or in our minds. (And drawing some fascinating connections to the MVs, which are often very challenging to pinpoint as representing a specific event, date, or place.)

I feel like I digressed spectacularly, so more to your point—am I overwhelmed by the amount of information established for the BU now? Yes and no. It is a complex story thanks to the countless time loops, seven protagonists, and occasionally cryptic fashion that details have been revealed over the years. Sometimes, it feels like an impossible amount of information to hold in my head all at once, which is why I am still working through copious note-taking (and story guides to hopefully help all of you). I’m sure I forget things that really should be remembered.

What I am genuinely overwhelmed by is excitement. Excitement for what has been—the incredible attention to detail over years of visual media, eventually tied together with the texts. Excitement for now: how much love I still hold for this transmedia narrative, even as I negotiate the challenges of running a blog solely devoted to celebrating it. And excitement for what has yet to come. Because if I am confident of anything, it is that we do not have nearly all the answers for this story. Whether you enjoy the act of crafting new theories or are just along for the ride, I hope you will continue to walk with me and find this excitement for yourself, too. ♡

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