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watchmegetobsessed · 2 years

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WASTED TIME

A/N: i cant believe its finally done! this fic was in the making for way too long and im not entirely satisfied with it but oh well! its kind of my celebration fic for reaching 10k followers, which is just truly insane, i still can't believe it! thank you so much for all the support!!

PAIRING: CEO!Harry X Reader

WORD COUNT: 7.9k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: An unusually nice looking man wanders into the bar where you work at and an unexpected friendship forms along with a deal, but how long can it last when you start to fall for the man that's out of your league?

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“How is tonight’s crowd?” Chantel asks when you stomp to the back to put on another shirt because you once again spilled beer on yourself. She is already dressed in her pink outfit, the high heels she is wearing look awfully painful and you have no idea how she can dance in them. She’s got her usual blonde wig on, going for the full Barbie look and men just eat it up all the time. Normally, she is not the type of person you’d ever see yourself befriending, but working at the bar for two months now you got to know some great girls, all of them struggling just like you. The bar pays well, the wage is generous and everyone gets to keep their tip. The owner is a decent guy, he wants to keep his staff satisfied and motivated to work so he is not trying to rip young women off who want to make money.

“We have two bachelor party groups, some weirdos in the back, but Lance has his eyes on them. Nothing extreme,” you tell her with a smile and reaching up you fix some lipstick she smudged onto her chin.

“Thanks babe,” she smiles before making her way out to the stage, ready to dance around her pole for the next hour.

You get to the changing room and opening your little locker you pray to find something you can change into. You’re definitely not in the mood to smell like beer all night and have your shirt stick to your chest until it dries.

Going through everything you have in there, deodorant, some snacks, an empty water bottle and a pair of old Converse, you only find a tiny crop top that could serve as your change. It’s still better than the beer shirt so you decide to put it on. It has your cleavage very much on display and your jeans are not high-wasted enough to reach the hem of the top so you’re showing some of your stomach as well. If you ditched the pants you could easily be one of the dancers in this outfit, you think to yourself as you shut the locker and head back out.

Your landlord raised your rent a few months ago and you had to quit your part-time job on campus and find something that pays better. As a student finishing your masters, you didn’t have many choices, you still have some classes so a full time job wasn’t really an option. That’s when the bar came into the picture. It pays more than your previous job, just enough that you can pay your rent and make it to the next paycheck and with the tips you can even afford to see a movie or have drinks with your friends once in a while. It’s all you want and need right now.

At first you were nervous to work at a bar that’s almost like a strip club. It’s not called that because the girls don’t get undressed, they just dance on the stage. But with time you got used to it and now not many things can faze you.

“Table two,” Roland tells you when you approach the bar and pushes your tray closer to you, full of drinks.

“Thanks,” you sigh, grabbing the tray and making your way to the table.

Chantel is already up on her little stage in the left corner, one of the bachelor groups ogling her like she was just a piece of meat. You walk past one of the weirdos as you reach table two, setting the drinks down to the guys.

“Thank you beautiful,” one of them winks at you, but not in the creepy way so you flash him a smile and ask if they want anything else. They say they are fine so you turn around and head back to the bar.

The weirdo is eyeing you now, you can feel his gaze burning down your body, you even catch him staring at your boobs, but you decide to ignore it. He is not bothering you or trying to touch you, so it’s all good.

About thirty minutes later you’re helping Roland out behind the bar, stacking clean glasses when you see an exceptionally good-looking guy walk in. He seems confident, but a bit weirded out from the place, it’s obvious this is his first time at a bar like this. He looks nice and clean and to anyone he would appear to be just some hardworking guy making a bit more than the average, but he can’t fool you.

You spot his Gucci suit from across the room right away and you’d bet all of your tip that his crispy white shirt is designer as well. The rings on his fingers are chunky and probably more expensive than they look, you are guessing he is in a quite high position in whatever business he is working at. Maybe even the highest.

He sits down to a table at the side in your section and you head his way right away. He is handsome, the kind of guy who surely doesn’t have any trouble wrapping a woman around his finger, he looks around thirty, his eyebrows etched together slightly as his eyes roam around the place.

“Hello, I’m Y/N, what can I get you tonight?” you ask, smiling at him just like you do every time you welcome a new customer, but this smile feels a tiny bit more honest than your usual ones.

His eyes flicker up to meet yours and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest. This man is so beautiful, you’ve never seen anyone like him before.

“Hello, Y/N,” he says, his voice like sweet, golden honey. “What do you recommend?”

Clearing your throat you square your shoulders and look around, as if you were checking if someone can see how attracted you are to this man. But as always, everyone is minding their own business.

“To you? I would say scotch.”

“To me? Is that a special offer?”

“You just look like the kind of man that appreciates a good scotch and we have a nice bottle I don’t recommend to the usual crowd.”

It’s your odd way of flirting and you’re not entirely sure if he gets it or not. When he smiles at you, your knees wobble at the sight of his dimples. You’re gone for him.

“Then I’ll take your word,” he nods shortly.

“Anything else I can get you?”

“No, just the scotch for now, thank you.”

“I’ll be right back.”

On your way back to the bar you can feel his gaze burning a hole into your back, but when you’re behind the bar making his drink, you see him looking down at his phone. It doesn’t seem like he is at all interested in the dancers, you don’t even know what he is doing at a place like this. The bar is not too bad, but it’s definitely not fancy enough for a guy like him.

“There you go,” you smile as you return to his table with his drink.

“Thank you,” he nods with a small smile and though you want to stay and talk to him some more, you need to get back to your work.

He stays for a long time. Whenever his glass empties out, he asks for another and it goes like this until he finishes three of them. From then he only asks for water. Hours pass by and he just sits there, occasionally busies himself with his phone or he just simply watches the girls dancing, but not in a creepy, disturbing way, more like as if he was trying to figure them out beyond the stage.

The bachelor parties soon leave and some usuals appear clockwise, taking their usual spots as the night carries on. You’re cleaning off one of the tables the last bachelor party left behind when you feel someone lingering behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know it’s the creep that’s been staring at you all night.

“How much for a round with you?” you hear the raspy voice and you place the tray full of empty glasses and beer bottles back to the table as you turn around with an unamused look on your face.

“Get the fuck away from me,” you simply tell him, but it seems like it just riles him up even more.

“So you’re a feisty one, huh? Why don’t you—“

Before he could get a hand on you, a tall figure shows up behind him and pulls him back with a firm hold on his shoulder. To your biggest surprise it’s not Lance, but the guy in the Gucci suit.

“Leave now before you get yourself into trouble,” your savior tells the creep and the message is simple but his voice carries so much strength that anyone would be stupid to go against him and test him.

The creep mumbles something under his breath before turning around and walking out of the club. That’s when you see that Lance is just now returning to his usual spot, he must have been in the bathroom so you were lucky Mr. Gucci came to your rescue. Not that you weren’t ready to punch the guy in the face, but it’s nice that you didn’t have to make any effort.

“Thank you,” you smile at him and he just nods shortly.

“Saw him eyeing you all night, knew it wouldn’t end well.”

“Yeah, I was hoping he would just stick to the staring, but I was wrong.” You look in the direction of the seat the creep was sitting all night and you realize he didn’t pay for his drinks so now you’ll have to do it from your tips. “Fuck,” you growl under your breath.

“What?” the man asks.

“It’s just that he didn’t pay for his drinks. I guess no tips for me tonight,” you sigh and grab the tray from the table again and head back to the bar before shooting the man one last smile.

He stays for a little longer, but asks for his check soon. He is gone before you could have another word with him, but when you grab the money from the table your eyes widen.

He didn’t only pay for his drinks, he also left enough to cover the creep’s bill and the fattest tip you’ve gotten probably forever.

Days go by, even a whole week and you start to forget about your prince in shining armor, but then you’re working Friday night and about one hour into your shift a familiar, tall, well-dressed figure walks in. You’re behind the bar for the night so if he sits down to one of the tables you won’t be serving him like last night. But as if he could sense your yearning to have him at the bar, he walks up to it and takes a stool at the end of the row.

“So you’re back, huh?” you smile at him as you walk over to where he is sitting. He flashes you a sweet, charming smile and your knees go weak at the sight of him.

“I was nearby and thought of having a good scotch.”

It’s a blatant lie, you both know. He might have been nearby, but he definitely didn’t come here for the scotch, it’s the best you have but not quite the quality he is probably used to.

“That would be a first, the scotch bringing someone in rather than the girls,” you smirk, as you grab a glass and pour him his first drink.

“Girls? I barely even noticed them!” he chuckles, just as two dancers walk past him, wearing barely anything. It’s comical, how much he does not belong here.

With him sitting at the bar you get to talk to him more than last time. Whenever you have the chance you’re lingering around the end of the bar so you could keep the conversation up. It seems like he wants to know more about you and for every bit you share he offers something from him back.

That’s how you find out that his name is Harry, he is leading his own company he started almost a decade ago and that last time he wandered into the bar because the woman he was seeing broke up with him saying that he is not capable of having a normal, healthy relationship.

“But did she go into details?” you ask, as you’re fixing up an order of three gin tonics.

“She basically said that I’m boring and she would go insane next to me if she stayed,” he sighs, staring into his own drink.

That sounds like utter bullshit. Harry sounds like an exceptionally smart man with an intellectual you don’t find often. If she couldn’t appreciate him, she was probably way too stupid for him.

“If you want the opinion of a bartender slash waitress, she was just probably intimidated by your big brain,” you wink at him before giving out the tray to the waitress who got the order.

“And what about you?” he asks with a soft smile.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t seem to mind the higher conversation and you appear to be pretty smart yourself.”

“I hope so, I’m finishing up my master’s degree, I would hate it if I found out just now that I’m stupid as a rock,” you chuckle, wiping the counter off with a rug.

“What are you studying?”

“Biology. I want to become a microbiologist.”

“Wow, that sounds very interesting,” he says and probably for the first time, you feel like he truly meant it. Most people don’t quite understand why you want to watch microorganisms all day, but to you, it’s a fascinating world you don’t see with your bare eyes, but it’s still everywhere around you.

The conversation between you and Harry flows so easily throughout the night, you barely notice how long he’s been sitting at the bar. The fun however ends when he realizes it himself as well and decides it’s time to leave.

He leaves when you’re dealing with a problematic customer, leaving an enormous tip again on his bill and you only catch his tall figure walking out of the club.

You don’t think you’d see him anytime soon, or ever for that matters, but it’s a complete shock when he walks in the next day. You don’t question his return, just happily accept the extra time you get with him.

But it happens over and over again. Harry keeps showing up at the bar and some of the dancers tell you he dropped by a few times when you weren’t working and asked if you’d be coming in. You’re starting to grow a ridiculous crush on the man every time you see him walk into the bar and look for you, but you just can’t help it. You’re looking forward to talk to him, it’s so easy, feels like you’ve known each other for a long time.

“I have… news for you,” he shares one evening when he barely just arrived.

“News?” you chuckle. “Weren’t you suppose to say if it was bad or good?”

“I don’t know how you’ll see it so it’s just news,” he adds with a charming smirk that sweeps you off your feet every time. This man probably doesn’t even realize how hard you’re crushing on him. “I was asked to hold a presentation for a business class at your school next week.”

“Oh! That’s great news! So you’re not only a businessman but also a professor now?” you tease him.

“Just for this one time,” he adds with a shy smile. “Do you… want to come and see me?”

His invitation catches you by surprise, but it warms your chest to know he is thinking about you.

“You want me there?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” he grins at you and it takes everything in you not to climb over the bar and kiss him stupid.

“When is it?”

“Wednesday, ten am.”

Wednesday is the only day you don’t have any classes before twelve and you usually use it to the fullest and sleep as much as possible so you can make it till the end of the week, but this time you choose Harry.

“Alright, just let me know which building and room,” you smile back at him and see his eyes light up like a Christmas tree.

As much as you’ve been waiting for Wednesday to come, the day starts off the worst way possible. Your landlord calls at seven in the morning, which is already rude enough, but whatever, and he presents you the raise in your rent he’ll be implementing from the next month.

You want to argue with him, tell him you’re not paying even more, but you don’t have much of a choice. When you were in desperate need for a place, you were foolish enough to sign the worst contract to ever exist just to get your current apartment and it allows your landlord to change the rent basically whenever he pleases.

You’re a hot mess by the time you get to the campus, barely even paying attention to anything else than the thought that how you’re going to pay for your rent next month. It even occurs to you that maybe you should look for a new place, but it’s impossible to find the right one in just one month. Maybe if you didn’t have school and work, but that’s not the case.

You make it to the room just minutes before the start and you spot Harry by a man at the door, it must be the professor, but as soon as Harry sees you, he pays no attention to what the man is saying.

“Hey, you made it!” he beams when you reach them.

“Yeah, sorry, I had a wild morning,” you breathe out.

“Professor Byers, this is a friend of mine, Y/N, I hope it’s alright if she joins your students for my presentation.”

“Of course! Take a seat, Miss,” the professor smiles at you warmly as the three of you walk inside.

You spot an empty seat at the front of the room so you take it as the students notice Harry walking in behind you and the whispering starts almost instantly. The girls take notice of the hot presenter and all of a sudden, they are happy they chose to attend today’s class. It seems like Harry himself doesn’t realize what kind of effect he is having on young girls and it just makes him even more desirable.

“Good morning everyone!” the professor starts speaking on the podium. “As I mentioned it previously, today’s lecture is extraordinary, we have Mr. Harry Styles here to talk to you about the challenges of keeping up with the fast growth of a startup. Mr. Styles started his company a decade ago, the then startup is now, maintaining the IT systems of some of the biggest companies in the city.”

You know what Harry does. He has told you about his business, but it’s strange to see him as the businessman that he is. To you, he is the nice guy you talk to at the bar.

As Harry takes the professor’s place on the podium and starts his presentation, walking the class through the history of his company, realization hits you just how serious this man is. Why does he keep coming back to you to the bar? What could a man like him want from a girl like you?

It’s no surprise questions are flowing at the end of the presentation, the girls are basically fighting for Harry’s attention, all while he stays completely professional and focuses on the job he is doing. When the class ends, he walks up to you first thing.

“So, how bad was I?” he asks as you stand from your seat.

“Bad? You obviously don’t realize how good you’re at public speaking,” you chuckle.

“Are you in a hurry? I thought that maybe… we could get a coffee or something?” he suggests.

“I have about an hour before my first class, so I’m in.”

To spare time, you choose the café that’s right next to the campus. It feels a bit odd to spend time with Harry outside the bar, but it’s also refreshing. The morning rush has already died down so you easily get a table once you have your coffees. The conversation flows smoothly again, but your head is not completely in it this time. You keep circling back to your rent crisis and how you’ll financially recover.

“Y/N, everything alright? You seem a bit worried,” Harry asks and it’s nice to know he is noticing the change in you, but you wouldn’t want to load out your problems on him.

“It’s just some bullshit I have to deal with, don’t worry about it,” you shake your head in dismiss.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talking won’t solve it, so…” you sigh, taking a sip from your coffee.

“Maybe I could help you? At least tell me what it is,” he pleads and you’re hesitant, but at last decide to tell him. Maybe sharing it will ease the worry a bit.

“It’s just that I have a very sucky contract with my landlord about my apartment and it allows him to raise the rent however he pleases. He decided to issue a raise for next month and I’m not sure how I’m gonna pay it.”

“I’m not a lawyer, but I don’t think he can do such thing,” Harry says with furrowed eyebrows.

“Unfortunately, he can. It’s my fault, I signed it because I was desperate to find a place to stay, so now I’m paying the price. Whatever, I will figure something out. Might pick up more shifts at the bar, though I’m not sure how I will fit it into my schedule,” you sigh.

Harry looks concerned, but he doesn’t try to get into your business, most likely he thinks it’s not his problem and it’s one hundred percent true.

The two of you finish your coffee and then it’s time for you to head to class and for Harry to go back to the office. It was nice meeting Harry outside of the bar, but it made you realize how much you want to spend more time with him when it probably doesn’t mean as much to him.

Later that night you’re working at the bar for a half shift, hoping to get your mind off of your financial situation just for at least a few hours and you’re also planning to talk to your boss about possibly picking up more shifts in the future.

Harry walks in and just like always, he doesn’t even bat an eye at the dancers, just walks straight up to you at the bar.

“Hey, missed me already?” you joke, placing a bunch of beers to your tray.

“I want to help you,” he starts without saying hello.

“Um, what are you talking about?” you chuckle, grabbing the tray and heading to your table as Harry follows you.

“I’ll pay for your rent,” he simply states and you almost drop the beers.

“Harry, are you out of your mind?” you chuckle. He steps back as you reach your table and place the drinks down in front of the men, but then sticks to your side again as you head back to the bar.

“I’m serious, Y/N. You’re struggling and I can help you, so why wouldn’t I?”

“You can’t just pay for my rent. It’s my issue, I’ll figure it out myself, okay? I appreciate the thought, but you don’t have to worry about it.”

“But I can’t just let you struggle when I have the money you need. I make more than what I could ever spend, I want to use it to help you!”

“Harry,” you sigh as you reach the bar. “I can’t just take your money. That’s not how things work.”

“Things work the way we want them to. Why wouldn’t you just accept my help? You’d rather overwork yourself and barely make enough to pay your rent? What’s the use of that when I can easily just solve this problem for you?”

“And what, you just want to hand me the money like it’s a piece of candy?” you ask in disbelief.

“Well, I was thinking about transferring it to you, but whatever works best for you,” he simply answers and you’re starting to feel it’s just a joke, he is tricking you.

“I will not just take your money for nothing, Harry,” you shake your head chuckling.

“Okay, then… we can make a deal, you can do something for me too.”

“Like what?”

He stares back at you for several minutes before answering the question finally.

“Spend time with me.”

“What?”

“In exchange for the money, spend time with me. That’s what I’m asking for.” It’s obvious he is nervous about the proposal and there’s no doubt in you he is meaning it in the purest way possible. He is not trying to take advantage of you. Before you could answer, he speaks up again.

“I love spending time with you. I love out conversations and I would love it if they could happen outside of this bar as well,” he chuckles softly. “I’m… I’m quite lonely when I’m not working. If you truly want to do something for me for the money, then just… spend some time with me. We could have dinner, or just watch a movie, anything you want to.”

The difference between the Harry you saw at his presentation and the one standing in front of you right now is wild. He looked so confident just earlier today and now he is like a nervous little boy, asking you to spend time with him. There’s no way you can say no to him.

“You can’t pay my whole rent,” you tell him. “Only the raise my landlord just added.”

Harry opens his mouth to protest, but you give him a look that changes his mind.

“Alright. Whatever you want.”

You just nod, in complete disbelief what kind of deal you just made.

Arriving to Harry’s apartment building is another shocking realization about just how successful he is. Like when you watched him present in that class, it’s such a big change to the version you’re used to in the bar.

It’s been two days since you made the deal with him and you wanted to cancel it several times already, but then you did the math and realized you’d never be able to pay your rent without his help.

Tonight you’re having dinner with him and he asked you to bring some of your favorite books with yourself. You wonder what those will be needed for as you head up with the elevator in the luxurious looking building. You’re wearing a simple sweater with jeans and now you’re questioning whether you should have dressed nicer or it would have been too much. But then you finally reach his door and it flies open just moments after you knock on it and you finally see him, wearing jeans and a simple shirt with a kitchen towel over his shoulder and you’re glad you didn’t overdress.

“Hey, come on in,” he smiles, stepping aside so you can walk inside.

“Hi,” you smile back before your eyes wander around the place.

It’s most likely at least five times bigger than your home, modern and stylish, but not the clean type, that can hardly feel homey. There are colors, paintings and pictures on the walls, décor and even flowers on a lot of surfaces as you look around. It suits him in a way you weren’t expecting.

A delicious smell wraps around you, coming from the kitchen and you spot the pan on the stove and the aftermath of the preparations for the food.

“I’m making some veggies with homemade fries and some dips,” he tells you, throwing a nervous look towards the kitchen. “I hope you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will. Can I help with something?”

“Maybe just setting the table,” he suggests and in a way you’re glad you can do something and be useful instead of just watching him work. Makes you feel more equal and comfortable.

You make some small talk as he finishes up the food and you set his massive dining table for just the two of you, and though you always enjoy spending time with him, you can’t help but feel a bit weird knowing you’re getting paid for being here.

“Are you alright?” Harry asks, when you finally dig into the food that turned out amazing.

“Yeah, I’m just… not quite sure how to handle this situation yet,” you admit truthfully.

Harr puts his fork down and the way he looks at you brings you so much peace and comfort, his eyes have the talent to speak to your nerves without words.

“Don’t think too much about it. We’re just spending time together because we enjoy each other’s company. And I help you out with your rent, because… because that’s what friends do and… we’re friends, right?”

“I guess we are,” you smile shyly. “Though I don’t tend to befriend customers from the bar,” you add chuckling.

“I’m glad you made an exception for me,” he smiles and somehow, as if he worked magic on you, he managed to ease your nerves.

The rest of the dinner goes by nice and comfortably, slowly you let go of every barrier and just enjoy Harry’s company, which is essentially an easy task. He is an easy person to like, even adorn. You drink up every word that rolls off his tongue and you feel so heard whenever you’re talking, he has the ability to make you feel like you’re the center of the universe when he looks at you, and it’s starting to sink deep into your heart.

“So, what about the books?” you ask when dinner is long over and the two of you are enjoying some wine on his comfortable couch. A shy smile appears on his face as he stands up and disappears without a word. When he returns, he is carrying some books, he lays them out on the coffee table and you curiously eye the titles.

“Honestly, you’re the only person I know who loves reading as much as I do. I could never talk about books with anyone before and… I thought we could exchange our favorites so we could talk about them later.”

For a moment you feel like your heart can’t take it. This is the purest interaction you’ve ever had with anyone, let alone a man. In this moment, as you stare back at him, you feel yourself falling for him.

Slowly, you fall into a routine with Harry. Monday noons are for school. Then you pick up an early shift at the bar and Harry picks you up at eight and you have dinner together. It’s been a challenge to find the best fries in the city, so you’re always trying out a new place.

On Tuesdays you start in the library, working on your thesis, then classes and then Harry drives you home from class and most of the time you end up on your couch, just reading in silence but also in the comfort of each other’s company. Wednesday is when you sleep a little late, then you go to class and work in the night. Harry sometimes picks you up, but when he can’t he sends a car for you. He doesn’t let you go home alone so late at night, even though you tried to tell him that’s how it’s been for a long time.

Thrursdays, you start in the library again and then usually have a late lunch with Harry somewhere near his office. At first you felt quite out of place when you were waiting for him at the lobby, but now you just look forward to see him walk out of one of the elevators in his fitted suits and a bright smile on his face.

On Fridays you start in school and then work a long shift at the bar. Harry always arrives around ten and sits at either the bar if that’s where you’re stationed, or you simply reserve a table for him in your section. Then he takes you home only to be at your door in the morning on Saturday to take you out for brunch. Once you’re fed he usually takes you somewhere, a museum, a gallery, or maybe just for a walk in the park. You talk and talk, never running out of things to say and every time you part ways your heart aches to be with him again.

Sundays are the only days when you usually don’t meet, but he is always on your mind. You read the books you get from him, you text him about the tiniest of things and wish he was there with you.

You tend to forget how you got into this position, but you’re reminded of it when the first amount appears on your bank account and then disappears with the rest of your rent. The guilt never truly disappears, especially when you realize you genuinely enjoy spending time with Harry and that it feels like he is just giving you the money for nothing.

But what keeps you on the edge the most is that you’re falling for him and it’s a dangerous territory. You’ve been like a lovesick puppy the past weeks, always thinking about him, zoning out at work just because you got a text from him. You haven’t felt like this since probably middle school when you had a fat crush on the cool boy in your grade. How could you not fall for him when he is the perfect man?

However you have no idea if he feels the same way or not. Sometimes you’re convinced he is just as into you as you’re into him, but then you remind yourself that you’re just some broke, silly girl while he is a successful businessman, so why would he choose you out of all the women he could get?

It’s still a mystery you haven’t figured out, but realization slowly sets in that you can’t go on like this for too long. You need to tell him how you feel so he has the chance to think your deal over. It’s just that you fear that he might not want to see you ever again. That would break your heart completely.

The past week has been awful. Somehow you fell behind with studying, you were late to two of your shifts and you’ve been having to deal with some of the rudest customers just to top it all. By the time Saturday comes you feel drained, especially because you weren’t able to spend as much time with Harry as you wanted. He’s been working on a huge deal all week and could barely free himself for one dinner. It all took a toll on you.

You’re convinced he won’t be able to see you today either, but when you hear the doorbell ring a little after nine, your heart practically bursts out of your chest. Opening the door you finally see him and the urge to throw yourself into his arms is almost unbearable.

“Hi!” you breathe out and when you see his eyes light up, you just can’t hold yourself back. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his chest, inhaling his sweet, comforting scent and as he curls his arms around you as well, you wish you could stay like this forever.

“Hey, missed me?” he chuckles softly and you don’t even care about appearing clingy anymore, just nod into his chest. “If I knew this is how you’d greet me I would have come sooner,” he adds before you finally peel yourself off of him.

“Um, sorry, the place is kind of a mess,” you sigh as you look around. Cleaning hasn’t been your top priority and now that you realize it, you feel a bit embarrassed he has to see it.

“No need to apologize, darling. More interested in how you’re doing,” he tells you as he follows you into your small kitchen so you could make him his usual cup of tea. It’s a habit now, you keep his favorite in your cupboards at all times and know exactly how he drinks it.

“Well, I feel like shit,” you scoff shaking your head. “This week felt like a year and it was a shitty one. Work and school has been killing me.”

“How can I help?” he asks in an instant as you hand him his mug, because yes, he has a favorite mug at your place, one that has tiny dancing frogs on it. Looks ridiculous in his hands, but it’s also the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen.

“Thank you for wanting to help, but it’s my shitshow, I don’t want to load it on you.”

“You’re not loading anything on me. I want to help, just tell me what I can do,” he insists.

“I need to reread the last part of my thesis, because something is off with it, but I can’t figure it out. I also have to turn in a project in about two hours and as you can see, the place is a disaster,” you sigh looking around. “I don’t think you can—“

“I’ll take a look at your thesis while you finish the project and turn it in. Then just take a nap, I can tell you haven’t slept well lately, I’ll clean up as much as I can,” he says without a second thought.

“You’re not cleaning up, Harry,” you shake your head chuckling.

“Okay, then I’ll just fill up the dishwasher,” he grins cheekily. It would be such a big help alone and you’re way too tired to refuse his offer.

So that’s how you end up in your bedroom, finishing up your project while Harry reads your thesis on his phone after you sent it over to him, taking notes about what should be changed or fixed. Originally you didn’t want to take a nap as well, but by the time you turn in your project your head feels way too heavy, so you decide to just lay down for a bit.

Of course you end up sleeping for almost two hours. When you open your eyes you hear some soft music playing outside and guilt washes over you instantly for letting Harry alone for so long. As you walk out your jaw drops.

Harry didn’t just load the dishwasher. He cleaned up the whole kitchen, gathered your dirty clothes from the floor and put them into your hamper, cleaned up your small dining table that was covered with notes, books and other knick-knacks you left out during the week. You find him changing the lightbulb in your lamp that’s on the sidetable next to your couch, something you’ve been delaying for weeks now.

“Oh, you’re up!” he smiles softly as he finishes up the task and walks closer.

“Harry, we agreed you wouldn’t clean up my mess,” you sigh, but on the other hand you’re eternally grateful he did all of this for you.

“I know, but… I just wanted to make you happy,” he admits with a shy smile and your heart skips a beat.

This is the moment. You can’t just keep hiding your feelings any longer, but how can you tell him you completely fell for him?

“Can I kiss you?” you hear yourself asking before you could even think about it. You see the surprise in his eyes and you hold your breath as you wait for an answer.

“I-I didn’t do it to get anything from you. You don’t… You don’t have to,” he stammers and it just makes you want to kiss him even more.

“I know,” you smile back at him. “But I want to, can I?” you ask again, stepping closer to him, so you’re only inches away from him.

His eyes trail down to your lips before returning to your eyes and then he finally nods. But instead of waiting for you to kiss him, he makes the first move.

His lips press against yours, soft and warm and you kiss him back in an instant, arms coming up to curl around his neck as his hands find their way to your waist, pulling you against him. He starts off slow, taking his time, savoring you, but then he gives and takes more, the kiss deepens and soon enough you completely melt against his lips. You press yourself as tight against him as possible, as if you’re trying to become one with him, your fingers combing through his messy locks and when he moans into your mouth you feel all your arousal pool between your legs.

His hands wander down to your ass, grabbing onto it shamelessly and you love how he has taken control when just minutes ago he was doubting if you really wanted to kiss him. Somehow you end up moving around in the room until your back hits the wall and you moan into the kiss, pulling one leg up to hook around him, only to have him urge you to do the same with the other so you’re clinging onto him as he presses you against the wall.

He pulls back abruptly, both of you panting with your chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Y/N, I don’t want you to think you have to do this because of the deal we made,” he growls with a pained look on his face and it takes a few moments for you to process his words.

“I’m doing this because I want you, I’ve wanted you for a while now. Do you want me?”

“Fuck, you have no idea,” he groans before kissing you hard again and you want to tell him you do have an idea, because you feel it through his hungry, demanding kisses, but you’re way too busy kissing him back.

You fight your feet back to the ground and it’s all a mess from there. You both start undressing in a hurry while also trying to keep touching each other, clothes are flying around the room until you only have your bralette on and Harry’s throbbing erection is covered with just his underwear. He pulls you at the same time you want to move towards the bedroom, but you lose balance and he tries to catch you, but at the end you both end up on the floor, laughing and panting as you’re lying on top of him.

“Are you alright?” he asks, brushing your hair out of your face.

“Yeah,” you nod, still laughing.

When the giggles die down you stare down at him and realize again just how beautiful he is. Leaning down you kiss him again, this time slower, more sensually as your hands wander down his perfectly sculpted body until you reach his rock hard cock. You squeeze him through the fabric of his underwear, a whine slipping through his lips as his fingers dig into your thighs on either sides of him.

“So you want me?” you whisper against his pink, swollen lips while you slowly pull him out of his boxer briefs, stroking his length lazily.

“I do, I have wanted you the moment I first saw you,” he admits and his words go straight to your pussy.

“We wasted too much time,” you sigh shakily as you position him to your core.

“No time is wasted that I spent with you,” he breathes out and you sink down on him with a loud moan, both from the feeling from being filled up by him and also from his words.

“Harry,” you gasp, hands on his chest to keep your balance while his palms are gently rubbing your hips, thighs and waist, his eyes glued to you as you sit on top of him.

“I’m right here, baby,” he murmurs as you start to move slowly, finding a rhythm that feels the best, moving your hips up and down, back and forth.

The hardwood floor is painful under your knees and you know Harry must be uncomfortable lying on it as well, but neither of you wants to move from here, the pleasure outshines everything as you start to move faster and faster, feeling your climax building up in the pit of your stomach.

You try to go faster as you feel your orgasm nearing, but your legs are giving up, so Harry wraps his arms around you and flips the two of you over. You gasp as your back hits the floor, but the moment he starts fucking you, you forget about it all. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, kissing and sucking on the skin as he keeps thrusting fast and hard until you finally reach your high.

He follows just moments after, the room fills with your moans and panting, the two of you are one big mess and when he stops moving he falls to the floor next to you, halfway lying on top of you. His heavy, tattooed arm is draped across your chest that’s rapidly rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.

When you return to reality you turn to face him, only to find him staring at you with bright eyes.

“Hi,” you giggle, rolling to your side so you can lean in and kiss him gently.

“Hi,” he grins back. “So… I guess we both kept a little something from each other all along, huh?”

“I don’t know how you thought I wouldn’t fall for you, Harry,” you tease him, brushing a loose curl out of his forehead.

“I could say the same.”

“I hope you know there’s no way I’m taking your money from now on,” you tell him, only to earn a confused look from him.

“What do you mean?”

“I still feel bad about it, but now that… we’re something more, it would be wrong,” you explain, but it seems like he disagrees.

“But I want to take care of you. I want to make you happy and I can’t do that if you struggle with your rent. Let me do this for you!” he begs.

“But isn’t it weird? That you’re giving me money?”

“I don’t see why it would be. I’m taking care of the woman I… the woman I’m falling in love with,” he says and you’re convinced he can hear your heart beating wildly in your chest. “Or if you don’t want it, I have a better solution,” he adds.

“Yeah? What is that?”

“Move in with me. That way you don’t have to worry about your rent,” he simply tells you and your eyes widen at his suggestion.

“Maybe let’s just slow down for a bit,” you chuckle, giving his bicep a squeeze. “Let’s talk about it later, alright? We can come up with a plan that suits both of us. We have other things to do now.”

“Like what?”

“Getting up from the floor. It’s fucking killing me,” you chuckle, making him laugh as well.

He stands up and helps you up, only to end up falling into your bed moments later. Because even though Harry said no time was wasted, you still have a lot to make up for.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

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9tzuyu · 2 years

Text

stay.

note: normally i try not to get too personal with authors notes, but #lolz feeling a little silly and goofy ig

i really debated posting this because all it is - is a huge vent/dump fic. i don't expect anyone to read this or for it to really go anywhere and that's fine with me. i'm actually a little embarrassed? i guess you could say? i don't know. a lot of issues are coming up revolving around my ed so i just had to get it out.

+ i do promise to try and work on requests and lighter stuff. i still cant afford a new computer so im doing everything from my phone. it'll take some time, i'm sorry about that. i'll try my best to get requests out as soon as i can.

warnings: talks about anorexia/eating disorders. if you decide to read this i strongly advise you to take a moment beforehand because i do go pretty in depth at some points. i dont want to trigger anyone or anything, so the warning is here.

**please note that this is heavy thought based at first before it moves onto dialogue.

**and remember this is just a vent/comfort fic i originally wrote for myself, so if it’s not as good as any of my other fics you guys like i’m sorry.

ALSO SORRY TO KILL THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT HELP

++ please be safe tonight

ty moli for proofreading i love u <3

it was impossible to understand why such an awful thing could be glamorized

you were only ten when you first stumbled across the sites. sacred rules could be found plastered all over the home pages in cute fonts to distract from how twisted the demands were. lists of diets and calorie counting apps were always linked on the side, along with pages full of videos pertaining to weight loss.

even at a young age, you knew it was obviously all wrong, that the people running these blogs had to be sick themselves. but that didn’t stop you from continuing your exploration of the community. once you started you couldn’t stop.

by the time you were twelve, you counted on laxatives and self-induced vomiting to ease your insecurities. it worked for a while, but then it wasn’t enough. you had to do more, be better than the person you were a few months prior.

at thirteen, you joined group chats and ran your own little blog tied to those who could relate. the praise for losing weight easily became your biggest motivator. because if you were the smallest, you were the best. within a few years, you’d been perfectly trained into thinking that less was good, and that becoming more was the worst thing you could ever be.

you were taught that losing hair and bruises on your skin were the things you wanted. if you didn’t have those, then you were hopeless, not enough. others in the community told you to look up to those cliche, horribly written characters with eating disorders. no matter how many stereotypes and stigmas they gave off, those characters would always be praised some way or another. you weren’t shocked to say that reading winter girls did you no favors at all.

the next few years were on and off between misery and glimpses of happiness. it was never ending. nonetheless, you ignored what every therapist told you and remained firm on the belief that your body was different from the rest. your body wouldn’t go too far like the others because you were strong. you’d come so far already, why would you stop now?

you denied your diagnosis of anorexia because nothing was wrong. you weren’t in a hospital bed dying of heart failure. why were you supposed to believe what you were doing wasn’t right when nothing serious has gone wrong? that was your point, although you knew somewhere in your mind it wasn’t normal to cry over a turkey sandwich or panic at the thought of even smelling food.

so you stayed true to your routine of hiding food, packing on layers of concealer, and lying straight through your teeth when asked if you’d stuck to your meal plan.

it never lasted long though because despite your best efforts, your body would eventually give away the truth on its own. weigh-ins became impossible to trick, your extra small clothes hung two sizes too big over your body. anyone with eyes could see that you’d been less than truthful the entire time.

as you got older, you found that some years were better than others. your body could be healthy and you found yourself genuinely enjoying those around you. friends and family said you were more fun to be around. during those times they didn’t have to worry so much, they could laugh at lame jokes you’d tell without thinking it might be the last one they’d ever hear.

during those years, your eating disorder was much more quiet. you were able to eat food and not feel as guilty as you would when you were sick. the thoughts were always there; they were just more manageable than before.

but somewhere in your twenties, you found yourself still stuck in the cycle introduced to you at the tender age of ten. you were old enough now to know and believe what you were doing was wrong, but the fear of facing and fighting back against your eating disorder was too scary of a thought for you to handle.

you knew now that when you were younger people brainwashed you into believing smaller was better. they took the lighter side of eating disorders and turned them into goals you’d want to reach.

the people you’d met on pro-anorexia websites romanticized the fuck out of the disease, leading you to believe you’d be beautiful and envied by others as long as you had a gap between your thighs and size zero pants around your waist. you thought someone would’ve wanted you as long as you were frail and dainty (two words commonly misused to describe someone who was actually weak and dying).

it was a mystery to you at sixteen why you were so miserable when you were promised happiness and self-confidence. girls didn’t envy you like you’d been told they would. instead they’d stare at you, weirded out by how freakishly skinny you were. your name was constantly in people’s mouths at school, everyone wondering why you’d ever want to look like that.

friendships didn’t last long either. you wore people out with your constant need to skip out last minute on plans that had been scheduled for over a week. things didn’t make your case any better when you’d snap at your friends for wanting to get something to eat because they were hungry. a few small, petty arguments too many, and they’d be on their way as far from you as they could go.

you’d never felt more alone in your life when even your longest friends started to grow tired of your behavior.

why couldn’t they think about how tired you were of it? you are with yourself 24/7 after all.

those in charge of the sites forgot to mention all the extremes you’d learn to go to when it came to avoiding or getting rid of food. it was more than just sneaking dinner into your dog's mouth. for you, it was hiding sacks of vomit in your closet, throwing them in a large plastic bag the night before trash day. for you it was throwing up in your friend's front yard while they ran inside for a few minutes to get something. for you it was hitting yourself in the stomach for over an hour hoping to replace hunger pain with physical pain against your body.

no one ever mentioned the insane beliefs that tagged along with anorexia. like the ones you had where you thought fast food water had calories in it because it was surrounded by the smell of food, or thinking that shampoo and advil had hidden calories in them that would somehow leak into your body.

you knew how stupid and irrational everything sounded, but those beliefs were so ingrained in your mind it was hard to challenge them.

another unmentioned concern no one cared to bring up was the fact that you’d eventually have to tell people new in your life what you’d struggled with. you told natasha awhile before you started dating her and she didn’t run off or stray away from you. you were grateful for that, but it didn’t make things very much easier for you.

if things were bad, then date nights rarely ever consisted of going out for food. this hardly ever bothered natasha too much, but you could see the occasional falter in her eyes when you told her you’d rather do something else. she’d love to take you out hold your hand as you walked to the ice cream shop after you’d eaten dinner. she’d love to enjoy a glass of wine or two at a nice restaurant with a four course meal, but you couldn’t always give her that.

there had been a few dates ruined by your eating disorder. the worst of which came just a few short months after you’d told her about your issue.

the fair was in town and natasha was over the moon about the idea of taking you with her. you weren’t in the best mindset that particular day though. the thought of being around fried, greasy food was enough to make your stomach churn, but you saw how happy she was and didn’t want to ruin her the surprise she had for you.

half way through the night you had a panic attack, cutting the date short. words couldn’t even begin to describe how guilty you felt. natasha drove you back to hers, silence filling the air after you apologized profusely. she spent the night watching over you, making sure you didn’t do anything because she knew how angry you were with yourself.

dates like those came few and far between, especially through the years you weren’t struggling as badly.

you couldn’t say the same for now though.

you tapped your feet against the tile flooring as you sat in the lobby of your doctor's office. natasha sat next to you, hand clasped tightly over yours. she was worried. beyond worried, really.

like many times before in the previous years, you’d managed to hide your relapse quite well from others. the only reason natasha knew now was because you’d passed out on the job. you’d woken up in the hospital to her setting a glass of water on the table next to your bed.

you argued about it for three days before finally agreeing to go to the doctor.

truth be told, natasha was probably more worried about it than you were. the only thing occupying your mind was the fear of having to gain weight again, but also the chance that you might lose natasha if you didn’t get it together this time.

you weren’t a kid anymore. you knew very well she had the right to leave if she wanted to. you also knew the bind you were putting her in. if she left, natasha would run the risk of worsening your situation and in a month's time she might not ever see you again. but if she stayed, then she’d only be screwing herself over by destroying her own mental health.

neither one of those options were ones you liked.

“y/n?”

you looked up to see a nurse standing in the doorway of the lobby. natasha gripped your hand as you stood up and you nodded for her as an okay to follow you. stepping on the scale was the worst part, especially since the nurse had no idea of your current situation and decided to allow you to look at the number in front of you. natasha was about to say something, but you’d already seen what the scale said, anyway.

she did, however, grimace at the sight of how skinny your arm was when you took off your jacket for a blood pressure check. just like the rest of your body it was too thin.

“temperature and weight are low-”

you are slowly dying, was the translation.

“-but your blood pressure is just above where it should be.” she left the room after jotting down the reason for your visit, telling you that your doctor would be in shortly.

you spent the next fifteen minutes waiting in an uncomfortable silence, watching as natasha fiddled with the ring on her index finger.

“it’ll be okay, nat.”

“we’ll see what the doctor says.”

“i’m sorry.” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “i know you are.”

her reply didn’t help the matter, only making you feel more guilty by the second. guilt you didn’t have room to feel when you were the one doing this to yourself.

a light knock on the door made noise and your doctor walked in, a smile on her face like the previous times you’d been in her office.

“hello dr. hill.”

“y/n,” she greeted.

the doctor flicked through your files on her computer before she addressed you herself.

“want to tell me in your own words what happened?”

you shrugged, “hit another relapse. passed out at work. argued with my girlfriend over whether or not i should be here.”

she hummed, taking your hands in her own, examining how blue your fingernails had turned. “a lot less pink from the last time i saw you.”

her stethoscope met your spine, and you inhaled, exhaling as she moved it around the back of your body.

“lungs sound fine.” you waited patiently until she finished listening to your chest. “your heartbeat isn’t where i’d like it to be, but seeing as you’re a little over twenty pounds underweight, it’s exactly where i’d expect it to be.”

dr. hill paused, jotting down a few notes on her clipboard. “i strongly recommend hospitalization.” deal breaker. you shook your head instantly, instantly regretting making the appointment.

natasha swallowed back a sob full of anger and frustration. “why not?”

“i just can’t, alright? it’s not even that bad.” you mumbled.

dr. hill stepped out into the hallway, giving you and natasha space to talk.

“did you not hear her? jesus christ it’s like talking to a brick wall with you.” she paced around the room, emotions too high for her to think properly before speaking.

“well then leave, natasha. i don’t care anymore.”

“i don’t want to! that’s the last thing i ever want to do to you. but god, why can’t you just fucking eat?”

she couldn’t stop the words from slipping from her mouth. her heart broke when she saw the look on your face.

“and why can’t you understand it’s not always about that?” you whispered to the ground.

“i know. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to say that. but please, we can do this together. i’ll there every step of the way, you just have to want it for yourself.” she pleaded, eyes watery with tear tracks tracing the edge of her jaw.

“i just want to go home. can we just go home, please?”

. . .

the smell of natasha’s dinner aired throughout the kitchen. you watched as she filled her plate with a variety of things. it looked good — good enough to eat — you couldn’t lie about that.

natasha hadn’t spoken a word to you since the appointment earlier in the day, too upset to even think about it.

you were conflicted about everything.

literally everything.

but seeing natasha sitting alone, face propped up resting against her arm, flipped something inside of you.

you could almost hear her voice telling you to try, just try, that’s all she wanted from you. the both of you knew you’d end up dead if you didn’t. and you didn’t really want that, no matter how many times you wished it would happen.

so you went to grab your own plate, filling as much as you thought you were comfortable with and sat next to nat. this was the first time you’d done this in months.

you inhaled, but made no move to take a bite.

your thoughts had never been this loud before. it was bickering back and forth, nonstop.

you wont be good anymore if you eat that.

– yes i will.

you’re disgusting.

– i’m just hungry.

it’ll go away.

– i just want to eat. it’s just food. nothing more.

you know you can’t do that. you’re bad, horrible, the worst person in the world. so be good.

“damnit!” you slammed your fork down, startling natasha.

breathe.

“you’ve got this.” natasha’s soft voice came from beside you and her hand clasped into yours. “how’s this? i can talk about something, anything you’d like to take your mind off of this.”

you cleared your throat with a small nod, “it’s almost halloween.”

“it is. do you want to do anything this year?”

“can we dress up and give away candy to the kids? and can we stay up and watch horror movies?” natasha giggled, “we sure can.”

she noticed how your fork began to circle around the food, pushing and shoving it around.

“can you take another bite?”

no.

don’t.

the metal hit your tongue, food leaving the fork and into your mouth.

“do you have any ideas as to what you would like to dress up as?”

“mmm. well i think we should definitely go as edward and bella from twilight.” you replied sarcastically.

“i love you, but there’s no way in hell you’ll get me to dress up as a sparkly vampire.”

her thumb rubbed the top of your knuckles. “another bite please. you’re almost there.”

your lip trembled and you could feel the lump in your throat start to form. you felt so stupid and humiliated that natasha had to do this for you.

with a shaky breath, you exhaled, pushing yourself once more.

“i think we should go as gay ken and barbie.” your lip twitched into a smile. “and who would you be?”

“well ken of course,” she confirmed.

“what it i wanted to be ken?”

“and what if i wanted to just wear a cat's ear headband with a black turtleneck and pants and call it a costume?”

“if you want to, we can.” the redhead smiled, shaking her head. “we can be anything your little heart desires. now, one last bite?”

and one last bite it was.

you liked that natasha didn’t clap and cheer when you finished your plate. too many times you’d been told “i’m so, so proud of you!” or “i can’t believe you actually finished!”, it was annoying. those types of things always made you feel like a child who couldn’t do anything to begin with.

instead, natasha went with a gentle “i knew you could do it” and went to put the dish in the sink. it felt nice to have someone really believe in you.

“c’mon, we can get ahead on our horror movie watching a little early.”

natasha went to grab your hand, leading you into the livingroom and onto the couch. you tensed when her arm wrapped around your body.

gross. disgusting. she shouldn’t touch you.

“hey, where’d you go just now?”

“hm? nowhere. i’m here.” she knew you were lying, but decided not to push.

natasha’s hand moved from your side up to your head, scrunching her fingers together to scrape her nails against your scalp.

not good. tainted. dirty. wrong.

“what movie would you like to watch?” she clicked the remote and scrolled through a series of horror movies.

ruined.

“bride of chucky?” when she didn’t receive a reply she pressed play anyway, knowing it was one of your favorites.

natasha tried her best to keep you as distracted as possible. she went from letting you play with her hair and rings to asking questions about the movie, despite already knowing the answers.

“we should go as chucky and tiffany. don’t you think? i’ve already got the red hair.”

why would you do that?

“yeah, that’d be fun.” your voice cracked, causing natasha’s previous hand movements to come to a halt.

“is there anything i can do to help you right now?”

“i just don’t want to be here right now.” natasha’s eyes widened, and you quickly went to clarify what you meant. “no- no- not like that! not like that at all. i just… i don’t know, i feel stupid.”

“why?”

“we have a bathroom. i just ate.” not a second later and natasha put the pieces together.

“oh.”

you nodded, “it’s stu-”

“it’s not stupid. it’s triggering.”

natasha moved to get off the couch, disappearing out of your sight. you didn’t have the energy to try and see what she was doing, so you stayed put.

“let’s go for a drive. i know a spot you might like. it’s quiet, away from the city. we can just talk or listen to music. we could also just sit in silence if you want, i don’t mind. whatever it takes until you feel ready to come back.”

you didn’t bother trying to tell her that she didn’t have to do this because she wouldn’t listen anyway. natasha’s stubbornness was honestly one of the few things that’s saved you.

“nirvana? stevie nicks? what are you in the mood for?” natasha asked you softly, thumb tapping her screen as she scrolled through her spotify playlists.

“will you play kurt’s version of the man who sold the world, please?”

“of course. and you know you’re always welcome to change the song. i put it on shuffle though.”

the ride there was more relaxing than you thought it would be. your mind and body were too focused on the lyrics of the song and fiddling with natasha’s free hand. the thoughts were still there, just not as loud as before.

soon enough, you and natasha both laid flat against the back of her car staring up at the moon. it was still. no noise could be heard apart from the sound of crickets a few feet away.

you had room to think, room to breathe.

you thought about what some of your friends were doing right now. you’d seen pictures on instagram of them representing their college, a couple of party posts, and the occasional travel selfie.

those were all the things you wanted to do, but couldn’t. it was easy to let yourself feel jealous. sure, you were more than grateful to have natasha, but there’s nothing fun about being in a relationship with someone so self-destructive. there was no doubt natasha loved you, but it’s hard to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved; or at least acts like they don’t.

so the choice was once again up to you. what was more important? spending days wasting away over something you’ll never reach? or living a new life, one that could be exciting, outside of your eating disorder?

“what’s on your mind?” natasha questioned, turning her head to the side to get a better view of your face. your cheeks were more hallow than she remembered and it made her stomach turn.

you hummed, “i was so caught up in my own pain i didn’t realize how much i was hurting everyone else around me. this race to be perfect; look where it got me.”

natasha didn’t know what the right thing to say was. your statement wasn’t necessarily wrong, so she couldn’t argue against it.

“i used to tell myself that my eating disorder never took anything from me. everyone always had something, whether it be a sport, or theater, or dance. i didn’t have that. and then i realized that’s exactly what my eating disorder took away from me. i haven’t done anything in the past decade except go through the motion. every day up until now i’ve lived to obey my eating disorder.”

there was pause, another inhale and another exhale.

“you could say i have someone; my family or friends, but after awhile they get tired. they stop trying and asking. they stop caring. a few years down the road and now i have a strained relationship with everyone i used to be close with. i guess it made it easier to accept what would inevitably happen to me.”

you turned to face her, a shaky breath leaving your mouth. “i don’t want to die, nat.”

the redhead had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. she couldn’t imagine a life without you, she didn’t want to imagine it.

“had i known when i was a kid that this would be my life i would’ve never continued on like this.”

“you still have time, you can still get better.” she reasoned.

“i know, it’s just hard.”

“you’re in the fight for your life, it won’t ever be easy.” natasha affirmed. “but i know you can do this.”

“we’ll see.”

. . .

*gasp* an eating disorder fic that doesn’t revolve around the fear of getting fat? v tired of that stereotype pleek not everyone with an ed is like that.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov x reader #black widow x reader #natasha x reader #tw: eating disorder

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mangos-hat · 2 years

Text

mentions of death :fearful:

fanfic below this stupidd thought keep in mind i cant wirte

what if like when dark choco & cacao have their reunion licorice and pome get in the way and are fucking like "its him or the castle" and licorice has his scythe to dark choco

"just kill me already." AND THEY OBLIGE WITH CACAO STANDING THERE WATCHING HIS SON FUCKING DIE

and hes just there in distraught cus he didnt even get to catch up w his SON

mf has like a whole breakdown after that

-----

heres a fic or smth

here dark choco goes by he/they btw

i apologize in advance if the characters are any ooc im just bad at writing fanfics

"...It has been quite some time... Father."

Dark Cacao looked up at the voice of someone he used to know. His son.

He stood there, different. Their hair cut short with a red fade. Cloak and armor blackened instead of the white it used to be. He was almost unrecognizable.

"Dark... Choco... Cookie..." Dark Cacao said. His eyes met with the red eye of Dark Choco.

Dark Choco stared at the ground, clutching the Strawberry Jam sword tightly.

There was an awkward silence between them.

Neither of them knew what to say.

The silence was broken abruptly by the sound of magic being casted into the air and the sound of Dark Choco's yell.

"Oh my, it seems I've interrupted a little 'reunion' with you two." A voice came.

Dark Cacao looked up at the figure. The cookie had red hair and was dressed in a robe and held a mirror, as if they were from the Pomegranate Village. Maybe they were.

"My my. It appears we've found the long-lost king of the Cacao Kingdom! What a pleasure." The cookie chuckled, green leaf charms glistening.

"Dark Choco! We aren't here to mess around, stop slacking already!!" Another voice came. They had black hair and gray skin. They held a massive scythe.

Dark Cacao didn't recognize these voices, but sure as hell Dark Choco did.

"Shit. Licorice..! What are you doing.." Dark Choco struggled to move. He was held back by the magic the red-haired cookie used as well as the scythe the "Licorice" held.

"Dark Choco... What is-"

"Oh, we have no need to explain. We only ask..." The red-haired cookie interrupted. "...your son or the kingdom." She pointed the mirror at Dark Cacao as if it was a threat.

"Pomegranate! Let me go this instant!" Dark Choco tried to break free of the magic, but it was too strong. A red.. energy circle around Dark Choco.

"Just choose already!!" Licorice cried. "I'm getting impatient!" He pressed the scythe's handle against Dark Choco's neck.

"Him or the kingdom. Choose." Pomegranate said, growing more demanding.

"...I-" Dark Cacao started. He can't afford to lose his son. No matter what the hell they did, they were still his son.

"Kill me." Dark Choco said in a stern tone.

"Son."

"Kill. Me." Dark Choco repeated.

"NO-" "Then it's settled!" Pomegranate clapped and gave a smirk. "We shall be taking your son's life." She eyed Licorice.

"Any last words Dark Choco??" Licorice pressed the scythe harder. "It's your dadd!" Licorice gave a wide grin.

"Son. Please." He pleaded for his son. Anything but to have his son's life taken. "Don't do this."

"I'm sorry."

"DARK CHOCO!"

The scythe was released from his neck and was aimed for his head. Its blade cut through his dough and Dark Choco fell to the floor, jam spilled out. It all happened so fast.

"Our job is done, Licorice." Pomegranate said, turning her back to Cacao.

"FINALLY!" Licorice exclaimed, hugging his jammed scythe.

The pair took their leave, leaving Cacao alone in the room.

"No." He stared at the body of Dark Choco that lay on the ground; jam seeped out of his head. "No." He can't be dead. He denied it.

He slowly got on his knees to pick up the body. He shook the body.

"Son. Wake up." He started shaking harder. "Please.. Dark Choco.."

This is fucking shit. Dark Choco lay in his arms dead. He broke. "I'm sorry Dark Choco." Tears streamed down his face as he cried over his once son.

"I'm so sorry."

#dark choco cookie #cookie run kingdom #angst #fanfic #dark cacao cookie

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nebulousfishgills · 3 years

Text

In Reality

Request by @nosfera1 : hiiiii is your request open? i was wondering if i could ask for an angsty wanda x fem!r fic where they've been in a relationship for a year and r is absolutely head over heels with her. r planned their anniversary date and during that dinner wanda confesses that she's only been dating r to move on from her previous relationship the whole time and cant carry it in her conscience anymore? make it reaaally really heart wrenching as possible please. thank youuuuu

Ah, thank you so much for sending in your request!! (Yes, requests are open lol). I'm always excited to recieve a new request, especially for a character I have yet to write for!

I hope I get this the way you want! ❤

Warnings: Angst, feels, fluff (but like, fake?)

ฯฯฯ

"Wan, are you okay?" You asked, noticing your girlfriend looking a bit uncomfortable. Her hands were in her lap, her eyes staring at the table or the wall, and she seemed like she was zoning in and out. "Wanda?"

"What? Oh, yes, dear?" She asked, jerking up from looking at the muted paisley tablecloth.

"I was wondering if you were okay." You repeated.

"Yes, I'm alright, dear. Just a little tired is all." She said, showing her teeth in a smile that almost seemed forced. You chose to ignore it.

"I was going to say, but I didn't want to be rude." You said, chuckling.

"We've been together for a year, we can tell each other anything."

"I'm glad you feel that way."

The waiter brought your dishes not long after that, the thin veil of steam curling off the top of the Italian dishes you ordered. Your glasses were refilled and parmesan was grated on top of your meals.

You started nearly scarfing down your food, the wait having been a little too long without a breadstick refill. You watched Wanda gently cut through the meatballs on the top of her pasta, dividing them into quarters. The delicate movement entranced you for a moment, a bashful smile creeping onto your face.

To say you loved Wanda would be a severe understatement. The past year you had been together was the best year of your life. Before, you had been in a slump, everything seeming sad and dreary. You had been having a particularly bad day that day, as a matter of fact. You missed the bus in the morning, so you had to walk to work. Halfway through, it started raining buckets and you had no umbrella. You were lucky your boss was so understanding, else she would have reprimanded you for sure for being late. Still, the woman signed your paychecks; staying on her good side was in your best interest.

While pondering your latest excuse for being late to work again, it suddenly stopped raining.

No, someone was holding an umbrella over you.

That someone happened to be Wanda, offering her umbrella to you to shelter from the storm. You took one look at her and it was as if the color started to soak back into your previously grey world. Not only was this woman going out of her way to help you, she was beautiful as well.

Wanda held the umbrella over your head while you both walked to where you worked (she didn't mind in the slightest; she didn't have a set destination when she started walking). You told each other a few things about yourselves to pass the time. You were working at your current job until you could afford to move to a better part of the city. The apartment you lived in currently had a lot of small problems that would pop up every now and then that would take your savings. Your dishwasher had just broken and you needed to save up to get that replaced.

Wanda told you about things in her life, too. Her brother had died a few years ago in what she called a "tragic accident." Her last relationship had ended pretty suddenly more recently, so she took frequent walks to give herself something to do.

Suddenly your dishwashers woes seemed so nominal.

You arrived at the building you worked at and Wanda bid you goodbye. Though, not before passing you a small slip of paper with a few digits on it you recognized as a phone number. You went pink and walked into your office, sending a text to Wanda as soon as you sat down. You saw each other more frequently after that, going on your first date not long after.

And here Wanda was, sitting in front of you with her steaming pasta and quarter sliced meatballs. You ate your dinners in silence to start, the only noises between you two being the scratches of utensils on plates and quiet chewing.

After a few minutes, you noticed Wanda poking at her pasta with her fork. She hadn't eaten very much. Her chin rested on her other hand, the food on her plate starting to cool down.

"Wan, are you sure you're okay?" You asked. "You've barely eaten anything."

"I'm fine..." Wanda replied, letting out an exhale as if she were holding her breath. She put the fork down and rested her hand on the table.

"Wanda, it's okay. If something's bothering you, you can tell me." You said, resting your hand on top of hers. She took it, rolling your fingers in hers. She pulled her hand back and rested it in her lap, her other hand following suit. She took a breath.

"Y/N, can I tell you something?" She asked.

"Anything, Wan." You said. Wanda took in another breath and looked you in the eyes. That's how you knew she was getting dead serious with you.

"This isn't easy but... I can't keep holding it in. I can't do this anymore." She said.

"Can't do what?"

"This." She wagged her finger in between the two of you. Your breath hitched in your throat.

"What do you mean? You can't do--?" You asked, your voice cracking slightly.

"No, I can't." Wanda cut in. "Listen, Y/N, I'm telling you this now so I don't hurt you worse later on. I can't keep stringing you along."

"'Stringing me along?' Wanda, I don't understand. Don't you love me?"

"I... I... No. It's just..." Wanda bit her lip and averted her gaze from you.

"Just what? Something I did? What did I do, Wanda?"

"Nothing! You did nothing! It's not you, Y/N, it's just..."

"Wanda, are you joking? One year, Wanda! This is our one year anniversary and you're telling me this now??" You asked, the tears streaming down your face through your anger.

"I know, it's not ideal, but I couldn't find time to tell you before!"

"Couldn't? Or wouldn't? You're telling me you lied to me for a year, Wanda. Why?"

"Because I needed a distraction, okay? My last relationship ended badly and I was having a hard time getting over it. I thought you would... provide support until I could get back on my feet." Wanda admitted. Your face got hotter as the realization sunk in. Your voice got low as you continued speaking.

"You used me? You dated me to get over someone else? Is that all I was to you? Just a distraction? A plaything?" You growled.

"Y/N, you don't understand--"

"Oh, no, I understand plenty, Wanda." You stood up from your seat, throwing on your jacket and grabbing your handbag. You looked at the half empty water glass at your seat and picked it up. You examined the water inside for a moment, looking at Wanda over the rim. "I'd throw the water in your face right about now, but unlike you, I have standards on how people should be treated. Like a person with feelings and not something you use to play pretend with."

You downed the rest of the water and put the glass back on the table.

"Y/N--" Wanda said weakly, but you cut her off with a pinch of your fingers.

"Not another word, Wanda." You snapped, before turning around to walk away. "Don't even try to call me."

You burst out of the restaurant and sat down on one of the stone benches out front. You sent a quick text to your friend asking for a ride home, sending the address. Wanda had driven you here.

"What happened to your date?" Your friend asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright. I'm on my way."

You shut off your phone and stared up at the sky. Not a moment later, thunder rumbled above you and it started to rain.

You had no umbrella to cover you.

Finally, you allowed yourself to cry, your tears mixing with the rainwater that dripped onto your face. You let everything out, all the anger and sorrow until your throat went raw.

The headlights of your friend's car pierced through the wall of rain. You stood up and ran over, climbing inside of the heated car. You let out a sigh and leaned back against the seat.

"You okay?" Your friend asked. You didn't reply, just turned to look out the window, the raindrops gliding down it. As the car started pulling away, someone ran outside of the restaurant, screaming your name.

Wanda.

You looked at her as your friend pulled out of the parking lot. Wanda caught sight of you inside the car, watching you leave. You just stared back at her coldly as your friend whisked you away back home.

As soon as you got back to your apartment, you blocked Wanda's number and collapsed onto your sofa. Tears leaked down your face as you fell asleep.

ฯฯฯ

Hope you enjoyed this, nosfera!

As always, requests are open, so send them in!

#marvel #movies #avengers #wanda maximov #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximov x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #female reader #wanda x fem!reader #fishgills writing #writing request #my inbox is open

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ifmywishescametrue · 3 years

Note

i don't know if you're still taking prompts (so please ignore this if you aren't) but i cant stop thinking about your recent buckytony fic (and how much i love breaking up and making up as a trope) - so i was wondering if you'd be up for doing smth else w that trope for buckytony?? maybe they re-unite at a mutual friend's wedding?? and it brings up emotions about their almost wedding?? idk i just really love breaking up and making up as a trope and i really love your writing :))

thank you!! I'm very much up for doing another buckytony break up/make up, plus you deserve nice things for finishing law school - congrats on that!🎉🎉hope you like this one 😊

There's a ring on Bucky's finger.

It's the first thing Tony notices when he walks into the bar for Natasha and Sharon's joint bachelorette party. He stands there in the doorway, frozen and staring until someone clears their throat pointedly behind him, and he mumbles an apology as he moves out of the way.

He thinks about turning around and not coming back, just ditching the event entirely and maybe even the wedding tomorrow, but he tosses the ridiculous thought the second it comes. He promised Sharon when she asked him to be her man of honor that he could handle Bucky being Nat's. Living on the other side of the country afforded him to miss the rest of the events and planning along the way, and he could deal with one day of being cordial to his ex, even if the day comes with walking down an aisle together.

But now there's a ring on Bucky's finger.

The silver catches the light, and it's on prominent display with his left hand wrapped around a beer bottle. It shouldn't be possible for him to have moved on that quickly. Eight months shouldn't be long enough to bury three years of memories. Three years of hopes and dreams and plans for a future built together. Years of love so blindingly intense that it burrowed into Tony's soul to make a home and refused to be evicted just because it was supposed to be over.

Tony wonders what the timeline is. Did he find someone new while Tony was still just beginning to pick up his own scattered pieces? A first date for him while Tony was barely getting out of bed. When was it that he replaced Tony as the last person to have his heart? And how did he find forever in someone else so soon after losing the one he used to call his soulmate?

Natasha notices him first, still hovering near the entrance, and she raises a single eyebrow that calls him a coward. He rolls his eyes at the accusation, though it's accurate. She elbows Sharon to catch her attention, and before he knows it the entire small group is turning their heads his way, giving him no choice but to join them.

It's less bachelorette party and more pre-wedding celebration with the crowd they've gathered, all mutual friends of both brides with no regards for gender traditions that usually come with this night. Tony used to fit in well with them all, back when gatherings like this were just a typical Friday night. But he made himself an outsider between the move to California and the breakup with Bucky. All he has now with most of them is a dead group chat that hasn't been used in months. He wonders which one of them made the new one without him in it.

Sharon is the first to pull him into a hug, then Natasha follows suit. He gets a nod from Sam, a wave from Clint, and what might pass as a smile from Steve. Bucky stares so intensely that Tony can feel his eyes with his back turned, but when Tony looks his way, he pretends to be interested in the floor.

He had a plan before the ring threw him off. Step one should have been the entrance. Head held high, shoulders square, perfect outfit that shows everything off and compliments the Malibu tan he has now. Step two should be nonchalance. A light hearted greeting to everyone, accompanied by an easy grin and relaxed body language, and catching up with subtle brags slipped in. Show them all that he's doing better than he ever was, sitting on top of the world these days, even if most of the time it feels like he's barely above rock bottom.

Step three in his ideal scenario involved Bucky breaking down and begging to get him back. Some versions even had him on his knees for it, with tears running down his face. Others required it to be raining outside, and the cloudless sky ruined that before the ring on Bucky's finger did.

With steps one and three out the window, he tries to salvage step two.

“Hey,” Tony starts, a little too loud. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries again, “Hey, Bucky. It's good to see you.”

Bucky nods, a strained, jerky motion. “Yeah, you too. How, uh, how have you been?”

“Good. Really good, actually. Company just had its highest sales quarter yet, so it’s been a little crazy around there, but good.”

“Good,” Bucky repeats, and there’s a long awkward pause.

“And what about you?” Tony asks, and then because he can’t help himself, he adds, “I see you got engaged. Or, hell, I guess it could be married, even.”

Bucky freezes with parted lips and wide eyes for the briefest of moments, like he wasn’t expecting Tony to know about it or bring it up, and his eyes shift to the ring on his hand and stay there.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Engaged. Last week.”

Tony ignores the ache in his chest and plasters on a smile like he’s happy for him. “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t know him. Steve introduced us. They work together.”

“So he’s at the museum then? I thought you used to say that you hated all those stuffy guys and Steve was the only one worth knowing.”

Bucky smiles, a fond thing that widens the crack in Tony’s heart. “Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong. Felix is a great guy.”

Tony resists the urge to roll his eyes. Stupid name that probably matches a stupid, punchable face.

Some masochist thing pulls at him to make him keep digging for more information, a twisted need to know even as each word pushes the knife in deeper. He aims for casual, leaning back against one of the high top tables as he asks, “So how long have you been together?”

“Just a couple of months. Kind of fast, I know, but when you’re sure about something, it doesn’t really matter, right? Why waste time waiting?”

“Right, of course,” Tony says, a little flatter than he intends. “So why isn’t he here tonight? Hope it wasn’t to spare my feelings, because it’s really not necessary.”

Bucky falters, “It’s not? You, uh, you’re dating someone, then?”

Tony nods, and he wishes he had grabbed a drink before this so he could hide behind it as he lies through his teeth. “Only a few weeks, though. A little too early to be a wedding date, but I’m sure your guy will be there tomorrow right?”

“Oh, um, yeah, definitely. Why wouldn’t he be, right? There’s no reason I can think of,” Bucky says, stumbling around it. “But tell me more about your thing. Your person. How’s that going?”

Tony shrugs, and he finally pulls off that easy smile he’s been trying for. “Well, it’s not get engaged in a couple of months good, but it’s been really great. We’re taking it slow. Trying not to rush anything and just get to know each other first. I think it could really be something, though.”

“That’s good,” Bucky mumbles. “You deserve something good.”

He isn’t meeting Tony’s eyes anymore, almost like he’s upset that Tony moved on, and the vindictive part of Tony wants to be happy about it, but another part wants to be angry because it isn’t fair. It’s not fair to act like Tony should stay stuck in time, forever longing for him when he already moved on with someone else first. It’s hypocritical and selfish, even if Tony is lying about there being anyone else.

“Well, I’m gonna go get a drink,” Tony says, pushing down every feeling. “Should catch up with everyone else, too, while I’m at it. I’ll talk to you later.”

He heads over to the bar and isn’t surprised when Sharon joins him a moment later, right after he orders a double shot of whiskey. She puts an arm around his shoulder and asks, “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony laughs, running a hand through his hair. “My ex is engaged to somebody else and apparently doing really fucking well. Meanwhile, I’m making up fake boyfriends that I’m taking it slow with, because last week I went on my first real date in eight months and cried in the bathroom in the middle of it. And then, at the end of the night, he literally told me to my face that he didn’t think a second date was a good idea. We weren’t even talking about it, Sharon. He said it unprompted when we were still ten minutes from his apartment, and I was driving.”

Sharon nods slowly as she processes the rant. “He told you he got engaged?”

“Yeah, thanks for not telling me, by the way. It was really fun to get blindsided by it.”

She ignores the complaint to ask, “What else did he tell you, exactly?”

“Oh, just the whole line about how you know when you know, and Felix is such a great guy, and all that bullshit.”

“Felix,” Sharon repeats.

Tony knocks back the rest of his drink and orders another. “Please tell me he’s not better looking than me. Tell me it’s a downgrade. Don’t lie, because I know I have to meet him tomorrow, but please give me something that will make this better.”

“Well, I can guarantee he’s not as attractive as you. But he’s a little too perfect, you know? Like how could this guy possibly be real, he’s so unbelievably perfect,” Sharon says.

“I told you to make me feel better, not worse.”

Sharon shakes her head with a smile, the arm around him tightening into an approximation of hug. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I don’t think they’re going to last. He’s kind of flaky, too. Always cancelling at the last minute and all that. Bet he won’t even show tomorrow.”

The amusement on her face that she’s failing to hide confuses him. He’s starting to feel bad, though, for making the night about him when it should be about her and Nat.

Resolving not to dwell on it anymore, he squeezes the hand on his shoulder and says, “Alright, enough sad drinking, and definitely enough about me. We’re celebrating you and Nat and a lifetime of sickeningly wonderful happiness for both of you.”

Sharon grins, “Hell yeah, we are.”

“Shots?”

“Is that even a question?”

_____________

He wakes up with a headache and hazy memories. Shots of tequila that turned into shots of vodka when Nat got involved, then Clint’s terrible suggestion to try a shot of every liquor they had to offer. He vaguely remembers the round of toasts and drunken impromptu speeches from everyone, locking eyes with Bucky and failing to look away on both their parts. There’s a blur of wandering hands and heated, messy kisses. A bathroom stall turned into a cab ride which turned into his hotel room. He knows what he’ll find next to him when he opens his eyes, and guilt comes in full force.

“I know you’re awake,” Bucky says, voice still rough with sleep. It used to be Tony’s favorite sound in the world. “And I know we’re both sorry about what happened, but pretending to be asleep isn’t fixing nothin’.”

Tony shifts over to his back, and if there was any question before about what happened between them, the all too familiar ache in his body would answer it. He stares up at the ceiling to avoid the acres of bare skin on display next to him.

“You should probably leave,” Tony says to the walls. “I’m sure your fiancé is wondering where you are.”

“I doubt it.”

Tony puts an arm over his eyes, partly to block out the light that makes them ache and partly to hide his face. “Just go, okay? It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again, and we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Was it a mistake?” Bucky asks. “It didn’t feel like one to me.”

He doesn’t answer, and it’s soft and broken when Bucky says his name. Too much for him to handle.

Tony pushes back the blankets and searches for Bucky’s clothes in the mess they’ve made. He finds the shirt first and throws it at him. “You’re engaged, which means it was a mistake.”

His boxers are on the back of the couch, jeans right in front of the door, and they join the pile on Bucky’s lap. “You promised the rest of your life to somebody else, and I’m pretty sure fidelity is supposed to go with that.”

He tosses a shoe in the general direction of the bed, and it hits the nightstand with a loud thud. The second shoe is still in his hand when Bucky gets up and walks over to him, taking it and letting it drop to the floor.

His eyes hold a level of intensity that Tony has spent months dreaming about, and Tony couldn’t look away or move from this spot even if he tried.

“Felix isn’t real,” Bucky says. “I made him up when you asked, because I didn’t want to tell you the truth that I haven’t moved on in the slightest. That I’m so pathetic that I’ve spent the last eight months wearing an engagement ring that I bought for a guy who doesn’t love me anymore because I don’t know how to let him go.”

Tony stops breathing. “What?”

Bucky slides the ring from his finger, holding it between them so Tony can see the inscription. Always yours. He can’t remember the last time he heard the words get spoken.

“When?” Tony asks hoarsely. “When did you get that and why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“About a year ago,” Bucky says, slipping it back on his own finger. He sits back on the edge of the bed and stares down at it, twisting it around. “I thought about doing it on your birthday, but Nat and Sharon had just gotten engaged the week before and I didn’t want to take anything away from them. You were working a lot of late nights after that, and I thought it would be better to wait until things slowed down. You were so tired all the time, and you deserved a better proposal than when you’re falling asleep in the middle of dinner. It never slowed down, though. And then you got that big promotion and somehow we fell apart instead. If I’m honest, I still don’t really know how. One minute I’m getting ready to come with you, and the next you’re telling me not to bother.”

Tony sits down next to him, shoulders touching, and he pulls Bucky’s left hand into his. “You didn’t really want to go.”

“That’s not true,” Bucky says, but Tony shakes his head.

“All you talked about was how much you would miss New York. How much you’d miss your friends and your family and your job. Every day, everywhere we went. Even the fucking hot dog stands got sonnets about them. It really didn’t take a genius to figure out that you weren’t exactly looking forward to leaving.”

“I still would have gone for you,” Bucky argues. “I told you I would go anywhere with you, if it was what you wanted.”

“And then what? You move with me, and you’re miserable all the time, because my job never slows down so I’m still not around as much as you want, except now it’s compounded because you’re in a city that you hate with no one else that you know. You resent me for making you go, and the outcome is the same in the end either way.”

“Or I move with you, and I finally ask you to marry me like I’ve wanted to since almost the day we met. I find new friends and a new job, and even if it’s not perfect, it’s still worth it because at the end of the day I have a husband coming home to me.”

Tony runs his thumb over the ring and murmurs, “I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t think I could do that for you anymore.”

Bucky cups his cheek, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but baby, you’re an idiot.”

“Oh, thanks,” Tony laughs.

“You’re my idiot, if that helps.”

Tony smiles, still fragile but growing more hopeful. “Am I?”

“Always have been,” Bucky says. “Always will be if you stop assuming I’m going to leave you all the time. Let me decide for myself what I’m willing to sacrifice for us.”

Tony nods slowly, then says, “I’m sorry for ending it like that.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to.”

Tony climbs into his lap, circling his arms around his neck, and Bucky pulls him in closer with his hands on Tony’s hips. The ring is strange to feel against his skin, but also completely right. He wants it to stay there and to mean what it was always supposed to. Wants one of his own to match.

“We can fix it, right? We can be us again?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, and Tony’s heart sinks for just a moment. “Is your boyfriend as real as my fiancé?”

Tony laughs again in relief, “Yeah, they’d be a good pair.”

“I knew you had to be lying. You’ve never taken it slow in your life,” Bucky grins.

“Do you want me to start now?”

Bucky flips them over in one fluid motion, and he kisses up his throat as he murmurs, “Absolutely not.”

#my writing #my fic #winteriron #buckytony #winteriron fic #prompt fill #ad1thi

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angelicmichael · 3 years

Text

Imminient Annihilation sounds so dope - Chapter Ten

Michael Langdon X Reader

Summary: Reader and Michael continue to work through their issues and finally start to warm up to each other even further.

Words: 5.9k+ …oops

Warnings: just normal IA warnings (swear words, manipulation, unhealthy relationships, enemies to lovers, slowburn, etc) anddd maybeee a bit of fluff 👁

A/N: hey guys! Sorry I haven’t updated this in a few months but hopefully this is satisfactory hehe. This chapter is kinda a turning point in the fic so I hope u guys like it!! Also I watched Jennifer’s Body as I finished this so.. do what u must w that information 😌 djdjd

Previous Chapter

Rain was never something you were accustomed too. Spending so much time in Los Angeles had made you partially spoiled when it came to the weather - which is why you knew immediately your day was going to be shit when you woke up to rain.

You tried to convince yourself that the emotions you were feeling weren’t complete disdain but rather just a pessimistic version of indifference.. or that’s what you hoped anyway.

You knew realistically that your day wasn’t already doomed before it even started; and that the rain was nothing more than a mere inconvenience.. However; you still felt justified in complaining, considering today was the day you were ripping the band-aide off and moving in to the apartment Michael had oh so graciously chosen to give you.

Your pessimistic mood surrounding the entire situation was inevitable, and that was something you didn’t even bother to resist or fight. It didn’t take long for your thoughts to quickly go south as you quickly packed. Hatred that seemingly came out of nowhere (but that you realistically knew was only temporarily dormant) wasted no time in blinding your judgement - making you feel a nearly nauseating amount of jealousy and anger for people who actually seemed to be fucking happy in their relationships and werent forced into.. whatever shitty living situation you knew you were bound to find yourself in.

An apartment with no strings attached was way too fucking simple, and you knew it was too good to be true. You knew you were basically walking into a trap, and for what reason were you doing that so willingly? Just so that maybe Michael could start to tolerate you? You resented yourself for even agreeing to this but you also understood you really had no other option.

However; personal feelings aside.. you still had a mission to accomplish. You still had to attempt to seduce Michael, and even though you were doing a shit job at that so far - you still had to try. You knew realistically it was only a matter of time before Cordelia would ask about the progress you've made, and you would have to tell her something.

You had to do this.

That's why you were (semi) blindly choosing to move in to a building you knew you absoluetly couldnt afford; and why you were sucking up your pride and choosing to become semi reliant on Michael.

No one from the coven knew, and for the time being you intended to keep it that way. After all, even though Mallory didnt exactly know that Michael gave you a whole ass fucking apartment - your sure she probably suspected that something important happened between you and Michael just from the short conversation you three harbored together. But for the time being, you didnt have to worry about that. You had bigger things that were on your mind.. like the actual apartment door itself that you currently stood in front of.

You held the keys limply in your hand, your bag slumped next to you as you procrastinated something as fucking simple as opening a door. How pathetic.

You continued to stall in the hallway regardless - thankful there was no one passing through to witness how ridiculous you looked. Your gaze fell south down to your keys which were cold in your hand. Dripping slowly with the subtle rainwater that managed to linger on them, along with the rest of your clothes.

Your skin stung from the cold that seemed stubborn to leave, and a nice change of clothes and a hot shower wouldnt be the absolute worst thing in the world..

Fuck.

You bit your lip in order to prevent letting the profanity from rolling off your tongue. Quickly getting a better grip on the keys (which only made you somehow colder) and numbly, hastily unlocking the door.

You pushed it open, letting the door hit the wall and taking a few steps inside before dropping your bag to the floor.. as well as your jaw.

No words could possibly convey how you felt as you noticed how the room was already illuminated with not only natural light from the already huge windows you could see.. but also with a warm, yellow artificial glow.

Was someone already here?

What the fuck?

The hatred and resentment you previously felt toward others earlier rapidly started to return - except this time it was targeted at one very specific person.

It didnt even register in your mind that the light could've been left on by accident or that people besides Michael actually existed that could be present in the room but.. you didnt care. Anger was the only emotion that was solely present in your body as you fully abandoned your bag by the door. Advancing forward; and only feeling more shock and disbelief with every step you took at the thought that he could very possibly be in (what was supposed to be) your space.

"Michael, I swear to God-"

"Y/n?” said a soft, feminine voice.

It was practically automatic how you froze. Just getting close enough to notice that it wasn’t Michael after all that was on your bed in your new studio apartment, but a woman sat on your bed instead.

For about two seconds, you were scared it was Madison but.. that was a stupid assumption within itself. The company you were with was from a far different nature than of which Madison was, even though at first glance the two woman might look or sound similar. There were so many qualities that distinguished Mallory from Madison. Brown, auburn hair.. dark eyeshadow.. and her classic black boots. It didn’t take long for your anger to fade away as you tried to not think about how logically this still didn’t make sense - walking closer to your bed anyway.

"How did you get in here? And since when did you ever break into peoples rooms?" You asked with a laugh.

Mallory echoed your laugh back, seemingly watching you and your behavior. As if she was expecting you to do something or to act a certain way.. like perhaps leave.

"I didnt break into your apartment but.. you should probably sit down." She spoke, before nodding off to her side. Nonverbally suggesting you to sit next to her.

You did as you were told. Noticing briefly before you sat down how nice the apartment actually was.. including the bed.

The walls, and most of everything in the apartment was a solid black. It looked sleek, and even though black paint made most rooms look small - the natural light helped keep things looking open which you appreciated. It was no surprise that the bed matched the dark theme too. The sheets were silky, black satin. You almost laughed at how comfortable the bed was once you sat next to Mallory, the entire situation was so ridiculous it nearly hurt for you to not laugh out loud. The two of you sat in the silence for a moment.. you were each incredibly anxious, that was more than apparent.

You looked up at Mallory, expecting her to speak first and explain herself since after all.. shes the one who broke into your apartment but she still remained quiet.. Stalling, you could only guess.

"So, why are you here? How did you even get in here? Is everything okay?" You asked, your words speedy and rushed.

Panic started to temporarily set in when you realized that something could be serisouly wrong with the coven, even though you knew how completly irrational it was to think that way with no evidence. What if witch hunters found them? What if someone preformed the seven wonders and it went wrong? What if the plan had suddenly changed with Michael?

Mallory seemed to pick on how anxious you suddenly were, putting a hand on your upper arm before making you meet her gaze. Her soft, hazel brown eyes immeadietly making your breathe slow. That was another reason you were so thankful for Mallory - the soothing, calming effect she seemed to have on everyone she met was something you never took for granted.. Espically now.

"Hey, nothing's wrong and nothing happened. I promise. I just wanted to see you and talk to you, and I figured we should catch up after Michael basically made me leave," Mallory explained.

You quickly nodded. Feeling guilt start to creep into your system once you remembered how Michael previously treated her.

"Yeah, youre right. I've been wanting to see you anyway and I'm sorry I didnt just call you last night or something.. and I know I cant control him but I'm still sorry for how Michael treated you. I shouldn't have brought you into that-"

"(Y/n), stop," Mallory said urgently. Shaking her head slightly in disagreement with your words. "Sure, Michael was acting like a dick but.. it's nothing I'm not exactly accustomed too. It was harmless," she ended her words with a smile. One that was meant to comfort you both at the epiphany her words brought.

You sat with her words for a moment. The realization suddenly hitting you like a truck-

"Wait.. what? Do you know Michael?"

Mallory fell completely silent. Looking at you almost in a.. guilty manner. Her gaze fell downwards before she looked up to meet yours once more, licking her lips anxiously before she uttered out a quiet reply.

"I wasnt going to tell you because I knew it would make you upset but.. Michael called me last night-"

"And you answered?" Your voice raised up a few octaves unwillingly. Threatening to break as you tried to process what you were hearing.

As much as you wanted to immeadietly jump to conclusions, you had to remind yourself that this was Mallory you were talking too. Your best friend, Mallory. You knew she would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.

You noticed Mallory was also starting to get tense. Her spine suddenly a bit too straight and her shoulders were rigid. It was nice to know you werent the only person in this situation who was feeling this way, although you would be lying if you were to say that you werent curious for why Mallory felt tense.

"At first, no but he kept calling so I figured it would cause no harm to see what he wanted so, I answered," Mallory said cautiously.

It was obvious she had more to say and as much as you wanted her to keep talking and fully explain herself - you were more than happy that you didnt have to cut her off again. It was too much. This was too much.

You pinched the bridge of your nose before loudly exhaling with a shallow growl. Not really caring that it probably was coming off like you were mad at Mallory when in reality, that wasn’t the case. Mallory wasn’t the problem; you were really just beyond fucking pissed at Michael.

But at this point.. that wasnt new news.

"I told him that we shouldnt be talking, but he insisted," Mallory continued with a shrug.

You tried to sit up straight again; trying to exhale some of the pure fucking anger that was currently coursing through your system. Your vision was spotted black when you opened your eyes - your gaze pointed upwards at the smooth, blank ceiling. Quickly wishing that you were anywhere else, or really anyone else at the moment.

What you wouldnt kill to swap bodies again.. but then again, who knows what the hell Michael was currently doing at the moment.. He couldnt be trusted.

That was more than obvious now.

You should've known that he would contact Mallory, but how he even got her number was beyond you.. Unless-

"How did he even get your number?" You asked. Your tone strikingly calm.

Mallory looked incredibly spooked when your head suddenly snapped over to look at her. As if she was worried you were angry at her still, and as much as you wanted to reassure her otherwise, you really didnt have the energy to do so anymore. Not at the moment anyway.

"You can't be mad when I tell you the answer, okay?" She said softly.

Your features immeadietly softened at her words. The rest of your body relaxed as well; your shoulders dropping and your jaw unclenching.

"Mallory, I could never be mad at you. You could never piss me off, i'm just.. frustrated at Michael. It's not at you, I swear," you said. Trying your best to make your words sound reassuring and genuine.

Mallorys reaction wasnt one that was verbal but immeadite nonetheless. Her arms suddenly shot out and wrapped themselves around you. Her body temporarily pressing into yours as your hands went to her back, before she quickly broke the hug.

"Promise?" Mallory prompted. Brown eyes looking diligently into yours.

"Yeah.. I promise. Just tell me what that idiot did,” you said halfheartedly.

"So.. I've had his number for a while. Not for too long but just since you two switched. But, we never really talked," Her voice stalled as she watched your reaction. Your mouth grew dry as you really tried to let it sink in that they've known eachother since- well for atleast a week. "But I knew immeadietly that it wasnt you.. that day. I'm sorry I lied, but Michael made me promise."

"Why didnt you just tell me?"

Mallory looked at you in a guilty manner. Her lips pursing shut as she looked solemnly at her shoes, avoiding eye contact. You knew exactly why she was being quiet - she didnt want to admit why she had lied but.. the answer was pretty obvious.

Even though Mallory was one of the strongest witches - almost stronger than Cordelia on some days, she still was scared of Michael and that was nothing worth holding a grudge over. After all he was still the antichrist, no matter how (mostly) harmless and idiotic he seemed to you now.

"Okay.. I guess that doesnt really matter," you admitted with a laugh. Figeting with your hands as you heard a shallow laugh omit also from Mallory, which made you smile. The shallow pit that resided in your stomach finally starting to let up. "But.. What did he call you about last night?"

Mallory hesitated again before giving you another subtle smile.

"It was mostly about you.. I know how you feel about him y/n, but its working. I promise you. Hes finally warming up to you. I just wish you could hear how he talks about you,” she spoke. Taking your hands into her soft, warm ones.

"I wish I believed that," You admitted.

"I wouldnt lie to you. Hes finally starting to warm up to you, plus it was obvious yesterday-"

"Yeah; It was obvious how strong he was coming onto you."

Mallory laughed again at your words. Shaking her head slightly in protest.

“Y/n you know that’s not true. The only reason why he was flirting with me was just to get to you.. I thought that was obvious.”

“It was obvious I just.. didn’t know that you knew that. I mean, Michael has Madison.. or he did so you think that would at least satisfy his flirting needs for a bit but.. Michael faking to be interested in you, that would mean he wanted a reaction out of me on purpose? Why would he-“

“You know why. You need to start cutting yourself slack and realize that maybee this rivalry is starting to be one sided.”

You pouted at her words at the realization that they actually held more truth in them than you were willing to admit. If Michael didn’t hate you anymore, if he was truly actually willing to be civil.. then why were you still so upset? Were you the one who was unintentionally causing problems now? Was it now you instead of Michael that was holding the relationship back?

How fucking stupid.

“I can’t trust him, Mallory. How can I when he and Madison literally tried to kill me. I can never forget that they did that to me.”

“I’m not asking you to forget what he did, y/n. I’m just saying that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to start having an open mind around him, and see where it gets you.”

You were struck silent, knowing that Mallory was completely right. If you wanted to have any hope at all of making things right with Michael (even though you really didn’t do anything wrong..) you would have to try a different approach because obviously; what you were doing now wasn’t working. Being snarky, and vaguely threatening him every chance you got was fun of course but- it wasn’t working. Even though Mallory was probably the sweetest person you knew, the fact your own best friend had to (very politely) make a intervention was.. not a good sign. Although, you knew Mallory was doing this for your best interest because if she didn’t say anything, then Cordelia certainly would.

And sadly, Mallory was actually right.

If you wanted things with Michael to advance any further; or to advance at all you needed to step things up but, you could always worry about that after Mallory left.

“So what, are you guys besties now or something?” You sneered.

“Shut up!” Mallory said with a laugh, playfully pushing you over a bit. “He’s barely even my acquaintance. The only reason he’s being nice to me is just to get to you, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I mean that’s the goal-“

“Do you think that’s the only reason?” You interrupted.

Your throat automatically tightened after you spoke, the threat of your words potentially being true coaxing you to silence. Your not sure why the thought of Michael using you made you upset.. it’s not as if you didn’t think he was doing it before but this time it was different. Perhaps it was because you finally thought Michael actually had some type of interest in you.. and to have that suddenly ripped away?

That would leave you beyond broken.. you knew that for certain.

Mallory looked at you solemnly, as if she was already resenting her words before she had to say them outloud.

“Look, I don’t exactly know Michaels intentions and I’m not going to pretend too.. I don’t really think anyone does at this point but I do know that regardless of your feelings, or even his feelings that.. you have to try.”

You let out a loud exhale.

“I mean you said it yourself.. Michaels so unpredictable, there’s no point in guessing how he feels so.. maybe I should just.. ask him?”

Realistically you didn’t know how good of a idea that was- but.. trying to remain realistic was something you gave up on days ago. Pretty much the same day you switched and that definitely wasn’t a coincidence by any means.

As soon as Mallorys mouth opened, you heard three loud knocks. Quick and rapid with no hesitation between them. The apartment nearly shook with the force of whoever happened to be at your door, and you certainly didn’t doubt that your neighbors heard the knocking as well.

Mallory looked at you in utter confusion, but stayed on the bed nonetheless with no sign of getting up. Naturally, you found yourself scooting closer to the end of the bed, knowing it was you who was going to have to get the door.. and that made you scared shitless. Not because you were necessarily scared to open the door but because you had a horribly bad feeling on who was on the other side.. There was only one person that you knew of that was aware of where you lived, and you knew it wasn’t matience or staff.

You knew standing up was the logical thing to do but you still stalled. Hands starting to painfully dig into the soft, expensive sheets that lie underneath you. You mouthed a silent, ‘what the fuck?’ to Mallory but your head snapped back at the door..

Three more knocks which were only louder and more persistent than the last.

“Coming!” You quickly called out.

It was pure anxiety that fueled your next actions. You quickly stood up from the bed, trying to walk hurriedly to the door as fast as you could and trying your damn best not to think.. Hoping Mallory also had a idea of who was at the door and also happened to get the fuck out of view.

You didn’t want a repeat of yesterday happening again today, and you knew you wouldn’t hesitate to slap Michael if he tried to flirt with her again. Even though, you knew you weren’t supposed to act like that anymore.. but why should you have manners if Michael refused them as well?

Opening the door swiftly and without a second thought; you stood breathless as you saw a familiar blonde standing in front of you.

You both stared at each other at first - each not daring to have the balls to say ‘hello’ or anything else for that matter.. You noticed how Michael first eyed you up, fully looking up and down your body (as well as peering behind you, hopefully not making eye contact with Mallory). You made a point to just look into Michaels eyes, refusing to do what he was doing.. whatever the fuck that truly was.

“How did you know I would be here?” You breathed.

“I knew it was just a matter of time before you’d come, but it also never hurt to charm the hotel staff a bit,” Michael responded swiftly without a second beat, almost as if he anticipated your words. His lips upturned slightly at the edges, in a way that nearly made your stomach sick.

“The hotel staff-?!”

“I have connections everywhere y/n, I thought you knew that,” he sneered.

He brushed past you as you continued to stand in shock. Your mouth slightly falling open as Michael took a few steps into your apartment - looking curiously around, almost as if he knew Mallory was here..

“I did.. I think that’s obvious,” you shot back hurriedly. “But thank you for the apartment again, Michael. I still feel weird taking it but it is nice I’ll admit,” you continued. Hoping to make him turn around to look back at you and hopefully not find Mallory.. Which worked. At least for a few seconds at least.

Michael made direct eye contact with you for a moment, almost as if he wanted to speak but was deliberately choosing not too. Instead he turned around, walking in deeper in the apartment.

Your mouth immediately dropped open - your feet carried yourself forward as you started to feel a bit numb with shock- not knowing even in the slightest how you were going to handle the situation if Mallory didn’t fucking move.

Sure enough..

“You always manage to linger.. don’t you?” Michael spoke.

It took only a couple steps for you to fully realize he wasn’t speaking to you. You only saw his backside as you approached them. Quickly meeting Mallorys gaze as you came into view.. Her brown eyes darker than ever as she peered up at you.

This time it is nearly impossible to distinguish whether she looked in agony from Michaels appearance or yours; since you apparently interrupted them. Her gaze quickly returned back to meet Michaels before you could think anything of it.

“I��m not here to see you, Michael.” Mallory announced. Her tone harsher than what you were expecting what apparent friends would use.. Were they even really friends?

Mallory suddenly stood up while Michael was still standing a few feet in front of her. Making eye contact with Michael for a split second before almost ducking around him before she stood in front of you.. leaving Michael speechless behind her. She quickly hugged you, her arms only embracing you for a split second before leaving. It was obvious she was in a hurry to leave now but.. you weren’t sure exactly why.

“I should get going, you and Michael have a lot to talk about,” she subtly smiled before turning to leave.. not letting you reply or have any sort of reaction to her words.

You stood solemnly as you heard Mallory’s footsteps gradually go farther away, before hearing the door open and close. You watched Michaels back as he refused to turn around.

“How was your nice chat with Mallory?”

“Why are you asking? Am I not allowed to see her or something?” You bit back. Your words possibly twice as venomous as his were.

Michael hastily turned around, looking at you with utter disbelief. His blue eyes looking into yours, as if he was suddenly surprised by your tone and how you were acting - as if his behavior didn’t proceeded yours.

“You need to relax,” he snapped. He approached you until he was right in front of you. “I wasn’t asking because I’m trying to control you, I know that’s what your thinking,” His words fell soft until they were nearly inaudible. “I just wanted to ask what she talked to you about.”

“About us?” You prompted.

“Well what else would she be talking to you about,” he snickered. His words spoken as more of a statement than a question. His laughter quickly dwindled off after he saw how rigid your frame suddenly looked. “Kidding. For the most part.. she said she was going to talk to you, and I figured I should actually speak to you this time rather than her.”

“Are you.. actually trying to trust me, Michael Langdon?” You teased. A smile, as well as laughter escaped from your lips at the mere thought.

Even though the thought was amusing on its own, you still didn’t completely trust him. Even now when he had Mallorys trust (for the most part), you still didn’t doubt that he had a ulterior motive.

Michael finally stepped back, hesitantly breaking eye contact before inaudibly beckoning you to follow him.

“I’m trying, just like how I told you I would,” He hauntingly reminded you.

You followed him silently to the long leather couch that sat by the overly expansive windows. Sitting down next to him in a way that felt almost too casual.. but being casual around Michael and not borderline fearing for your life was something you would have to adjust too.

You noticed how he instantly slipped his shoes off; drawing up his feet on the couch.. his arms and as well the rest of him contained. Away from you.

“So if your trying.. now,” you suggested uncertainly. “Then.. tell me why you came here to talk suddenly again? I mean why not just go through Mallory again like you’ve doing previously?”

“(Y/n), please. Take me seriously and just trust me for once,” His words came out quick and stern as he spoke them. “I was being serious yesterday, as well as all the other times when I told you I wanted to start.. putting effort in and trying.”

You stared at Michael utterly dumbfounded.. Feeling a bit hopeless that you actually felt almost.. touched by his words. That’s if he was actually being serious, anyway.

“What does trying mean to you?” You asked carefully. Your mind naturally went back to Madison.. were they even broken up yet? Was that even something that Michael was willing to do for you, and how was that something you could just ask? “What about-“

“Madison’s fine. She’s fine.. with everything,” he replied hesitantly.

You simply ignored the fact that he seemed to pick up what you were talking about almost immeadietly.. focusing on rather the latter part of the sentence.. that she was okay with everything?

“So she knows? That you’re here?”

“Yeah. She knows but that’s besides the point. Madison isn’t a part of the equation anymore, I don’t want to talk about her,” He spoke as if his words were final and not to be argued with, but his tone wasn’t angry. He was just done.. and you were too.

You wish that wasn’t the case though. Cutting Madison off didn’t sit right with you in the slightest, and it would definitely have to be something that would have to be mended later. That was a given.

Madison and Michaels relationship was far too close for them to suddenly split and remain like that forever - it was temporary, but so is everything really. That shouldn’t phase you but - it still managed too.

“Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t-“ you started.

“It’s fine. I knew you would ask.. She’s the reason why I’m here actually,” His eyes broke contact and averted down to his hands. “I don’t mean that as in I’m not here to see you but, it was something she said that brought me here.” He continued, his voice almost growing soft now at just the mention of his ex girlfriend.. and now, you felt like you actually were starting to understand his point of view. Not fully but, it was clear that Michael was trying to be more open with you, and this time he wasn’t ‘fake’ drunk.

It took nearly everything in you to not immeadietly retort but just like the night where you were at the party; you tried to fully hear him out since this was apparently one of the few times he was being civil.

“So Madison gave you advice and you actually took it?” You said while laughing softly. Trying to lighten the mood since Michael seemed to be brooding.

Michael didn’t laugh back but instead his gaze flickered up to meet yours for a moment. The corners of his mouth upturning in a shallow smile that only lasted for a few seconds.

“I did because it made sense.” He said, his tone still remaining serious. You noticed how careful he was being with his words.. something that was typical for Michael to do but this time it seemed a bit too deliberate. You wanted to ask what exactly Madison even told him to do but.. that felt wrong. “It was also the right thing to do.. Being close to you is something I should’ve done a while ago, probably immeadietly-“

“But what’s in the past; stays in the past. And since your so adamant about being close to me.. we can always try now,” you cut in.

Michael continued to sit a good distance away from you; you thought it was ironic how he could talk about wanting to get close with you but wouldn’t dare to move any closer. That thought made your pride a little bit too happy.

Right before he could open his mouth to say something; his phone rang. The sound suddenly earsplitting and blaring but Michael didn’t bother to flinch. Instead he stood up and answered his phone.. making sure to nearly trek across the apartment before he said anything into the phone.

You stretched and casually examined him as he talked, you had a feeling who it was on the line..

After how tense things were with Mallory - you knew they probably weren’t going to be on friendly terms anytime soon.. especially in front of you. And judging by how.. oddly relaxed he seemed (yet timid when he caught your gaze and realized you were staring), it had to be one person.

You were about to sink back into the couch and try your best to not speculate what they were talking about, but before you could fully turn - you realized Michael was sauntering towards you.. clearly still on the phone.

Oh fuck.

Before you could ask what was wrong, the look he gave you alone ushered you to silence.

He quickly held the phone away from his ear. A quick glance at the screen confirmed that the call was still active.

“You said you forgive Madison.. right?” He spoke lowly. His words barely audible, more so mouthing the words than actually speaking them.

You looked at him with a expression you’re sure looked as if you were furious but you were really just completely confused. You wanted to ask but.. there was no time if she was on the phone, but knowing what you were about to get yourself into would also be nice to know.

His eyes had since lost the sharpness that had nearly cut you earlier, instead swarming with urgency and a bit of panic.. It had to be Madison. The only person that could ever have that effect on Michael was Madison.

You simply nodded in response. Not trusting yourself to speak quietly outloud but you also didn’t exactly trust your response because it wasn’t exactly truthful, but Michael seemed to be level headed.. for now.

Michael immeadietly turned and held the phone back up to his ear, this time staying in closer proximity and within ear shot. Putting on his shoes as he continued to hold the conversation he was having.

“Okay

...

So when are you coming?

...

Great, see you then. . . Bye.”

If you didn’t just hear the words that you thought you had heard.. you knew under normal circumstances your heart would’ve ached when you realized how Michael hesitated before he said goodbye, most likely catching himself before he said ‘I love you’. Instead though, you felt a gruesome wave of nausea suddenly rise through you.. urging you to shakily stand up and speak without thinking.

“She’s coming to see you?”

Michael barely gave you a second glance as he turned around and started to head for the front door of the apartment.

“Yes. You’ll be seeing her too, don’t worry.” He spoke before he quickly let the door shut behind him.

You continued to stand, utterly speechless.

Part of you wanted to run after him and the other part merely wanted to scream in anger that he had already made fucking plans but instead you felt numb. Numb and calm.

You returned to your bag and unpacked, trying your best to not let your emotions consume you like they previously had too many times.. until you finally broke down and called Mallory.

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#michael x reader #Michael Langdon x reader #michael langdon fanfic #michael langdon fanfiction #Michael Langdon #my fic #Imminient Annihilation #hopefully y’all like this and it’s not all over the place djdjd #about to post to ao3 like always #ALSO thank u for the 2k hits on ao3!! 🥺💖#also side note - Jennifer’s body was amazing and now I wanna write something related 😭

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mythicamagic · 3 years

Note

“bite your lip once more, i dare you”

AN: Woop! This long detour has finally ended! Read the complete fic - here.

Warning: Some smut

---

It was with embarrassment that she bowed and apologised to the patrons and staff outside. Soon enough though, a steady arm around her waist steered her away from their disgruntled faces, Sesshoumaru leading her around a street corner.

"I should really go back and apologise once more..."

"Hn, I sense their moods will not be better improved by it, miko," amusement coloured his tone. His eyes found her in the dark. "What exactly were you doing? Other than...flexing."

Kagome fiddled with her fingers, missing his arm around her the second he released her. "I got tired of keeping a lid on things, I guess. Did they know who you were, in there?"

"Mn, seems so."

"No one knows who I am," she muttered, hugging her arms loosely. "And I haven't been honest with any of them. Not one demon boyfriend. I never showed them my true self, so I just thought, maybe I could start tonight. And instead..." she sighed. "I just made my problem their problem. I better go apologise-"

"I know who you are, Kagome."

The glow in his eyes was unmistakable, stopping her.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head, "and there is no need to express regret over announcing it so loudly. It is something I would have done, a long time ago. Those with power can afford to stomp their feet, just a little."

Kagome looked at him, searching his face for any hint of the overworked person she'd seen at the park. Reaching up, she brushed careful fingers over his striped cheek, mindful of the slight burns.

"I hurt you…"

A large hand ensnared her wrist, thin lips meeting lithe fingers in a lingering kiss.

"They will heal quickly. I am merely out of practice with handling reiki."

Kagome swallowed, tears stinging her eyes at the unexpectedly gentle contact. She glanced away, voice hushed. She couldn't contain what she'd seen a moment longer. "I saw your children."

Sesshoumaru's grip tightened, his form becoming tense. "The kit-" he sneered, flashing sharp teeth.

"He was just trying to help. I… saw them at the park," she murmured, fingers curling to touch his hand, prompting him to release her.

Kagome stepped back, searching his guarded, watchful expression. Slowly, the confident, easy facade he wore melted away, leaving behind a weary near immortal. Sesshoumaru swept the length of his silver hair back over one shoulder, sinking down to his knees.

Blue eyes flew wide.

"W-what are you doing?"

Sesshoumaru bowed his head- forehead descending. Kagome quickly gripped at broad shoulders madly, nails biting in. "Stop! You don't have to!-"

A crescent moon pressed to the dirty street floor as Sesshoumaru remained in a deep bow, large body hunched over. No matter how much she pulled and yanked at him to rise, ugly emotions clogging her throat, he would not budge.

"This Sesshoumaru apologises."

Hot tears leaked down her cheeks as the once cripplingly regal demon lifted his head, catching her gaze. "It occurs to me now...perhaps I should have started with this," thin lips crumpled into a jaded smile. "I cannot claim to be very good at humility. Even after all this time."

Kagome smiled sadly, reaching out and brushing gentle fingers over him, wiping away the mud marring his blue moon sitting proudly upon his forehead.

"My apology comes too late," he uttered, resting clenched fists upon his knees. "There is no Western territory in Japan that I own anymore. I am not a lord."

"How'd that happen?" she mumbled.

"I became disillusioned."

Kagome shifted, seeing the lines that he'd tried to conceal before that cut beneath his eyes. He seemed tired, even more jaded and weary than she. "I was naive," he uttered. "So set in my convictions. After losing you, I tried to convince myself it was for the best. We were an ill-suited pair, that sort of thing. I even approached my Mother, seeking vindication from her. She...who had taught me from a young age, instilled in me the value of our special blood and heritage."

Sesshoumaru chuckled, golden eyes dimming in the moonlight. "It was she who looked at me after I explained everything about our breakup and said, 'why did you do a stupid thing like that? Foolish pup.'"

She bit her lip, knowing how rattling that must've been. He'd explained to her before about the necessity of his role. He'd been the perfect heir by design. The Killing Perfection.

"It had not occurred to me she could change. That I could change. That blood and suitability were just abstract concepts, and in the end did not matter. The realisation came too late. You were...gone," Sesshoumaru looked at her soberly, as though waiting for the verdict of his trial.

Kagome hated the idea of him awaiting judgement, gripping his shoulders again.

"... Let's go back to my place," she said softly. It was there in her tone, living and breathing within soft blue eyes. Forgiveness wasn't clear cut or easy. She still hurt. But...she couldn't let him pass by without at least trying to see if they could last this time.

Helping to guide him up back to his feet, a thought occurred to her. "Unless- do you need to go home?"

"No," he said sharply, eyes wide, as though fearing that the offer would never come again. He relaxed his features, "no, my eldest can watch over the young ones."

Kagome nodded. On impulse, she took his hand and began walking down the street.

Sesshoumaru kept pace with her, long fingers frozen, slack in her hold. Soon they twitched, wrapping tightly around her own.

---

Stepping into her humble apartment silently, with the shadows thick and moonlight pouring in from behind them, having guided their steps- Kagome paused in the dimly lit hallway.

Sesshoumaru stood still in his usual way, so watchful and quiet, having not donned a glamour. Long silver hair tumbled down his shoulders.

Kagome's fingers reached up and buried in it, moving herself up on tiptoe.

Lips crashed, bodies meeting- his back thudding against the wall as she shoved and pressed herself against him hungrily.

There was nothing gentle about it. Hips met and pressed demandingly against one another, clawed hands hooking under her thighs, dragging Kagome up the toned length of his body, allowing her to squeeze them around his waist.

Teeth knocked, noses bumping. Sesshoumaru's tongue forced itself past her lips. He kissed her for so long- too long, indulging in the hot cavern of her mouth. Kagome's blunt nails dragged over his scalp, swallowing his answering hiss and canting her hips.

Inside. Please. I want you inside.

Sesshoumaru pulled away to press sloppy, hungry kisses over the length of her throat, sucking at her neck with a low, possessive growl. Kagome reached for his belt, loosening it hurriedly- finding his hard length ready against her thigh. Yet still he was content to tease, nipping at the sensitive skin of her collarbone. Kagome climbed down in frustration- only to yank and pull at his clothes, discarding them in their clumsy attempt to reach the bedroom.

They made it to her small living room, collapsing to the floor. It would do.

After 506 years, give or take a few- neither had envisioned it to happen on her pastel red rug. Surely a nice fancy hotel room, or at least a huge, plush bed-

Kagome straddled his waist, lavishing attention on his pointed ear with her lips while fiddling with her dress. Pulling it up over her head, she growled as it got stuck halfway, obscuring her vision.

Sesshoumaru took advantage of this, capturing a hardened nipple in his mouth and holding her arched back as she gasped, sighing breathily.

It wasn't until their underwear was shoved down, a condom hastily grabbed and a clawed thumb over her clit, circling it- did they find each other's eyes again.

Kagome stopped, panting.

His face was flushed, hair dishevelled. A bite mark had begun bruising his thoroughly kissed lower lip.

Sesshoumaru caught his breath, staring at her, unblinking. Slowly, Kagome gripped his shoulders, guiding herself down just as he held onto her hips. The head of his twitching, achingly familiar cock nudged inside slick folds, before surging deeper with a hard jolt. Kagome cried out and buried her face in his neck.

Sesshoumaru pressed his nose into dark curling hair, wrapping her up in a tight embrace, skin to skin. He cradled the back of her head, everything stopping for a long while.

They held each other without speaking a word, rendered mute, overcome with finally being connected again. Kagome shuddered, clenching her inner walls tight, as though luring him deeper, forbidding him to never part. She'd keep him locked inside her forever if possible. His body felt so warm and nostalgic, plastered against her own. She nuzzled and breathed in his good smell, sighing against heated skin.

A horrible thought whispered in her ear; It was all so breakable. He could ruin her again. With just a few words, he could undo years of progress.

But now Kagome understood it was the same for him. She could dismiss him tomorrow morning and break him too. Hurt him. Hurt the untouchable demon lord who had broken her heart.

Kagome cupped his cheek, lifting her head to brush an ardent kiss over his jaw.

"I missed you," she said instead. Because it was the truth. Nothing could compel her to willingly hurt someone she loved.

"I have…" he whispered, kissing her closed eyelids, "dreamed of you for centuries," starving lips pressed to her neck, "'missing you' is an understatement."

Kagome gave a broken laugh, saddened. "We're so stupid. We've wasted so much time."

"I wasted so much time," he uttered grimly. "But...perhaps it was not wasted time if it brought us here, eventually. Together."

"We've both made mistakes, let's leave it at that." Resting her forehead against his for a moment and inhaling his exhale, Kagome kissed him tenderly before beginning to move.

---

Laying nestled into a sprawled out Daiyoukai's side with her face pressed snugly against his chest wasn't a terrible way to wake up. Kagome stretched slowly, making a soft noise. She planted a few kisses over his ribs, palm splaying over his abdomen and grazing along the length of his exotically striped body. It lay littered with a few scars that hadn't been there before, new to her. Kagome kissed those too, wondering about their stories.

A velvety chuckle soaked with sleep escaped him. "Minx, you are aware that our late night activities will continue if you persist?"

"Maybe that's my goal."

Sesshoumaru sighed, stroking a lazy, affectionate hand through her dark rumpled hair. "I see your appetite has not diminished."

"If anything, I think it might've gotten worse," blue eyes danced as she bit her lip. "It's your fault, you started it."

"Hn, this one takes full blame," he rumbled, touch shifting to her mouth, sharp nail gliding over her it. "Bite your lip once more, I dare you."

Kagome flushed red- and she'd forgotten she could still blush right down to her toes. She bit her lip, hard.

Sesshoumaru flipped her over and muffled her giggles in the bedding as his lips found her neck and hands wandered all over again.

After thoroughly rememorising each other's bodies, they finally located her bed.

Shifting beneath the covers together, Kagome slung a leg over his hip. Sesshoumaru rested a hand over the back of her thigh under her ass, stroking. Basking in the afterglow, she began asking him about his life.

"How come you adopted so many kids over the years? Hanyous too," the topic soon came up.

"I did not do it for any particular reason. They were abandoned, much like Rin. Whenever I happened upon them, they took to following me in a similar manner. However..." his lips thinned, gaze dimming as it stared at the ceiling. "The first Hanyou that followed me was persecuted quite badly at my Stronghold. I did not intend to feel as much as I did about it. She was deemed 'mine' and so I felt outraged on her account. I experienced protectiveness for her, even if I did not recognise it at the time."

"Change happens slowly," Kagome hummed, shifting to lay atop his chest, their stomachs meeting as she rested her chin on her arms. "Did she marry a demon to extend her lifespan?"

"No, she died of old age, much like Rin."

"I'm sorry."

"Do not be, Erika chose her own spouse and lived as she wished. There is no sadness in that," golden eyes slid shut as she stroked his bangs, combing them back briefly from his handsome face. "There is only sadness when children are taken too early," his tone became wooden, dim.

Her heart squeezed in her chest. "Shippo...said there was a reason you didn't come for me during those 6 years. What happened?"

"I thought it wise to wait since you were experiencing heartbreak. My appearance would have made matters worse," Sesshoumaru's eyes peeled open, hazed with remembrance. "On top of which, one of my children could not be moved from his facility."

"Facility?"

He did not answer.

"...Can I meet him now?"

Sesshoumaru gazed out of her brightening window unseeingly. "If I could stop myself from taking in one species again, it would be humans," the words came softly, like a secret. "You always die much too quickly," he uttered, golden eyes sliding to her heavily. "Ruka was terminally ill."

"D-did you adopt him knowing that?"

"It makes no difference to me," he said a tad bitterly. "Whether they last five years or seventy, it is always too short a time," passing a heavy hand over his eyes, Sesshoumaru let it linger there. "Tenseiga brought him back, briefly. But not long enough. Never long enough."

The depth of his grief felt staggering. Kagome could see it, hidden away in all the corners of his face that he tried to hide behind a placid mask.

"Come here."

Sesshoumaru arched a brow. She persisted, leaning back into the pillows beside him and beckoning the demon closer with arms open wide and inviting. He was not one to refuse such a thing, soon resting a striped cheek directly over her heart. It thudded loudly, quick as a rabbit beneath his ear.

"I have not changed my opinions on some things, miko," he said in a dour, soft tone. "You humans are weak. I curse your weakness- and loathe every mortal child I take in for it. They are so fleeting. Every time they came to be in my care, I promised myself no more. Never again. Surely someone as great as I can have the self-discipline not to heed their cries should I hear them, nor follow the scent of their tears. Surely I do not need a pack so badly."

She could tell his conviction to stop caring for them wasn't working out too well, considering the group she'd seen at the park. He would love human children again, and continue to love and take care of them in an endless cycle of happiness and grief. Such was the way of an immortal guardian.

Kagome bent down, kissing the crown of his head. "You've given them a home. Even if it was fleeting to you, it was a lifetime of happiness for them."

Kagome couldn't see his expression anymore but felt Sesshoumaru's grip on her elbow, tight. His thumb dragged slowly, reverently. Heavy breathing shook, beginning to calm as she soothed his rippling youki.

"I'll look after you for now," she muttered, petting silky silver hair and massaging his scalp. "I can't do it all the time. Sometimes you'll have to take care of me, but we can take it in turns. So you can tell me...if you ever need to get those thoughts out again."

Sesshoumaru made a noise of affirmation, lulled by her gentle ministrations. After a while she figured he'd fallen asleep before he asked;

"Do you think you will desire to adopt, in the future? Raising them alongside our biological children is certainly possible."

Her mouth grew dry, hands freezing. Kagome drew in a shaky breath, vision going blurry with damn tears again. She stubbornly held them back, giving a laugh as she squeezed his shoulder.

"That's a tad presumptuous, isn't it? We haven't even said we're dating yet."

"You just said you'd take care of me, duplicitous woman."

"Yeah, because you're a tired old dog who needs a break," she teased, giggling as he huffed and transformed with a burst of youki, collapsing dead weight atop her in a smaller version of his true form. Wheezing, Kagome whined and wrapped her arms around him, stroking fluffy silver fur.

As she caressed along his muzzle, tired crimson eyes slide shut in a display of utter trust and peace, causing her to smile and kiss his wet nose.

---

They did things carefully after that explosive night, gradually easing into things. It was a couple of months before Kagome was introduced to everyone, not wanting to shatter that which had become so precious to them.

"Come on, come on. We have the place to ourselves for an hour, so go wherever you like," Kagome smiled, spreading her arms wide within the museum, voice echoing.

"It is not as though you needed to arrange for a private tour, you could have just showed us around during your normal working hours," Hiroji observed as most of the other children ran around.

"Ach, but I wanted to do something special..." she put a hand to her heart, pretending to be wounded.

"Hiroji, you're so bad with women!" one of the Hanyou's piped up.

"Bad with women!" echoed the other.

The snake demon grit his teeth sourly, while Kagome giggled and picked up the leopard Hanyou and accepting a nuzzle, gazing at their spots with affection. "I'm teasing. It's just nice to let everyone wander around in the open without glamours sometimes, right?"

"Won't the security cameras see us?"

"We have a face-painting section in the stone age area. Totally explainable," she leaned against Sesshoumaru's side as he wrapped an arm around her waist, markings on full display.

Golden eyes smiled, "and if that is not a suitable excuse- we're a Yakuza family with many colourful tattoos."

Akiko giggled, "that sounds cool!"

"I think a family of demons would be easier to accept," Hiroji grumbled, glancing in Shinto's general direction, who lingered away from everyone else anxiously.

In the snake demon's minds eye, he could see the shape of a powerful reiki source approach his brother. Kagome bent down into a crouch, getting on eye-level with him.

"It's okay, Shinto," she said gently. "You know, they have an interactive computer section in here on the Edo Period."

He brightened slightly. "They...do?"

"Mhm, come on. I'll show you," Kagome gestured, catching Sesshoumaru's eye in passing.

His expression softened, morphing into something she could recognise now. Trust in. They'd probably keep making mistakes, but so long as they weren't quite so costly as before, she felt as though they could weather the storms now. Kagome gentled and returned his smile, grabbing his hand as they entered the Edo section.

His children gasped and pointed at the display case of his armour. "Papa, this was yours!"

"I am aware," Sesshoumaru rumbled with amusement, taking his lips to Kagome's ear. "Do you miss wearing the hankimono to bed?"

She shivered, "maybe a little. They were comfy pyjamas," blue eyes caught the mischievous look skittering across his face. "Oh no you don't- Sesshoumaru! Don't you dare steal them! You donated them to this museum!"

"Technically they were mine first so I would merely be taking them back," he chuckled. "Never fear, dear one," he purred, tossing his head regally. "A bit of thievery is a minor feat for a Yakuza family, and the matter is especially pressing when it concerns comfy sleepwear."

Kagome groaned, burying her face in her hands and hiding another smile. She had centuries more of this to endure.

End

#Sesskag #Sesshoumaru x Kagome #Asks

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safia123 · 3 years

Text

Bang Chan Oneshot- So Far

Warning: Angst, She/Her pronouns, death, mentions of suicide and self harm.

There are a lot of twists and honestly, I cried at the end because I didn't expect my fingers to type what they did.

-----------------------------------------------------

A/N- This is my first post and first fic (after a few long time). If you have any suggestions or improvements, I am all ears :) Also, I hope to write more gender neutrally in the future when I am able to do so properly.

____________________________________________

Sometimes life pushes the people you need to the deeper ends of the ocean. The more you swim, the harder it gets.. but the more you crave them.

In a world where riches ruled over morals, the Bang family were at the top. They were known for their lavish lifestyle. Just being in their presence could make warriors fall to their knees.

Mr. Bang inherited a successful trade company for weapons and warfare goods being sold all over the world. They were expensive and gold branded, just a touch of a bullet could slice a whole finger. Only the top, wealthiest people could afford to take even a few of the weapons. But they were never disappointed with the results. The weapons could turn pacifists into soldiers.

Whispers on the street claim that the family would use poor people to test the weapons, offering their families money in exchange for a life.

This wasn't helpful for the youngsters of the family. Their family's reputation proceded them.

The Bang family's eldest son, Chan, craved to be accepted.. to be befriended and not just used or feared for his name.

His mother was a poor woman, who had captured the heart of his father at a very young age. Sadly for the couple, his father was to be married to a rich businesswoman to maintain their familys reputation. She was stern and refused to look Chan in the eyes.

Chan never got to meet his mother. He was left with his father while his mother escaped before his fathers family could kill her.

Chan was always taught to never mention his mother and to pretend that Cilla was his biological mother. He was taught never to be curious, so he hid away his emotions at a young age so they would never get the best of him.

It was 9 in the morning and like every other day, Chan had to go to school. Rich kids need to be educated too, apparently.

He felt like the days were repeating themselves. Instead of his usual route, he decided to dress down, wearing a cap and a mask to stop anyone from recognising him. Of course, this meant that he would have to sneak early so no one would notice how he wasn't dressed in his uniform.

"One day off school wouldn't hurt. It's not like I will be missed." He thought to himself.

Today was the day Chan had been planning for weeks. He knew exactly what he was going to do. Exactly where he was going to go.

He could take a private plane to Rome or Hawaii ... but no. He just wanted one day where he could just breathe and live like a normal kid.

He took the first bus downtown. He wasn't sure how buses work so he just walked right in and the driver didn't say anything. He remembers hearing the kids at the back of the class- the ones that were too afraid to even look at him- mention an arcade. He had never been to one before. His father was too dejected and found it too painful to look at him without thinking of his mother and Cilla refused to accept him as her son.. so natually he had no one to go with. He had trouble making friends too, so that didn't help.

"Another shift?" He heard the bus driver ask the girl at the front. He seemed genuinely concerned and this caught Chans attention.

"Yeah. It's fine. I can do it." Smiled the girl at the front.

She looked quite scruffy and her eyes looked tired, but her brught smile seemed to fool everyone. She played it off pretty well. Once she stressed her lips across her face, the brightness would outshins the dread.

He watched as she sat in an empty spot towards the front of the bus. Her head rested against the side of the bus and she seemed as though she was fall into deep sleep within any second.

Something about her fasinated him.

When the bus had come to the 4th stop, the bus driver called out, "(Y/n) wake up, kiddo. You're going to miss your shift."

Her droopy eyes fluttered open and it took a few seconds for her to quickly pick up her bag and run towards the exit. Before she left, she started walking back as if she had forgotten something, "Thanks for waking me up, Steve. Have a great day!" She said with a smile and then ran back out.

Chans feet moved faster than his mind and before he knew it, he was off the bus and following her.

She walked into a restaurant.

"Bro, you need to hurry. He looks pissed. I don't know if he will let you off this time." The boy at the front warned (y/n).

"I know.. I'm sorry if he let it out on you." She apologised before rushing towards the back.

Chan had gone too far to stop now. Maybe (y/n) could be todays mystery. And all he had his mind on right now, was solving that mystery.

He approached the front desk and gestured "table for one". After the male had ignored him, he just walked right into the restaurant and sat at a fancy table, where he sat eagerly looking for (y/n).

It wasn't long before a tired-looking (y/n) walked out, in uniform, with a pen and pad and a fake smile to fix it all up.

She took the order from the group of girls two tables away from him and walked back to the kitchen. Not long after, she walks out juggling two plates. She seems steady until another waiter unexpectedly walks infront of her, catching her off guard and making her drop the dishes.

The whole restaurant went quiet after a loud SMASH and everyones eyes were on her. The kitchen staff ran out and you could feel her anxiety from across the room.

She didn't know where to look so she kept her eyes on the shattered pieces of glass on the floor. She was looking directly at the floor but her face seemed to became more and more disengaged with the situation.

The manager smiled at the customers reassuring them that everything was fine as he dragged her away from the scene.

Chan got up and walked towards the kitchen, pretending he was on his way to the toilets. He could hear shouting and crying.

A tired, tear stained (y/n) walked out soon after looking defeated. She walked to the toilets and was there for a while.. until she came out, still looking down, headed to the door. Chan followed her to the bus stop and sat next to her guarding her from the other men at the stop who were oogling her in her skirt and ripped tights.

Chan noticed little drops of blood on the floor and his eyes followed the trail to (y/n)'s legs, where there was a huge gash and as he kept searching, he noticed her sleeves were completely soaked in blood. He was surprised that he didn't notice before. It seemed as though (y/n) had passed out and before he could call the ambulance, the man next to him had already called.

When the ambulance arrived, Chan rushed into the ambulance with (y/n), eyebrows furrowed as he eagerly hoped to see her (y/e/c) eyes once more.

The paramedics were putting pressure on her wound and he heard them mention her blood pressure dropping.

When she was taken to the hospital, she was taken to the Intensive Care Unit and the paramedics explained the situation to the doctors.

He was too caught up in what was happening to ask the doctors if she would be better. He sat outside the room where they were operating on her and felt bad for her. He kept thinking about her pained smile and her tired eyes.

They seemed so familiar. So important. But he couldn't pinpoint why.

Her sleeping body was taken to a room, where he sat by her side. She was attached to a machine but he didn't pay attention to it. He kept wondering where he knew her from.

He was watching her and taking him her features when her eyes started to flutter open.

"Thank God, you're ok!" Chaan gushed. He then realised how weird this would have looked. He was a steanger to her and she was most likely about to freak out.

"Chan?" She questioned. "Huh? How do you know my name?" His head spinning with questions.

"You... you came back. I-where have you been? I waited. I waited for so long. And you lied. You said everything would be better. It is not better. She is still sick and they still constantly fight. Oh my gosh- my work. No. I- i cant lose it. I have to go back and beg. I can't lose it. How would I afford anything? I can't go back home and tell them that I lost the job. The other 2 jobs aren't enough. I- omg what do I do?!"

"(Y/n). Breathe. Its ok. Start from the beginning. I need you to tell me... how do you know me?" Chan had to clear his questions. Was she delusional? No. That cant be it. How did she know his name?

"Chan. Are you serious, right now? I haven't seen you in 10 years... your face still engrained in my head and you dont know who we are to each other?" (Y/n) looked betrayed. Her eyes started to water and he felt guilty for pressurising her.

He closed his eyes and inhaled. He slowly exhaled and for once he felt like the world was catching up with him.

He remembered a small park and two kids. A cute little girl and tiny Chan. The little girl was crying and Chan held onto her tight. He reassured her that everything would be fine. Surely it was normal for 8 year olds to be worrying about finances. He was approached by a pale lady with sad eyes. She looked just like him. Or maybe he looked like her.

"Mum? Where were you?" He gasped. Tiny Chan let go of the little girl and held onto the older women. "I'm sorry I had to leave but I am here now. I won't leave you again." She held him tight, the way he was holding the little girl.

The lady held his hand and led him away. "Chan!" The girl cried behind him. "I will be back. I promise! This is my mum. I need to go now. Everything will be fine."

And then it turns black.

"What happened next???? Where did we go??" Chan jumped up, frantically. This scared (y/n) a little.

Nothing made sense.

"You.. I thought.. they said that you died. Your father mourned your death and your mothers. I didn't believe them. You said you would be back. And here you are. They must have set up a fake grave for you and your mum. Maybe the bodies by the truck were a lie. It can't be true.. how else could you be here?" And then (y/n) went silent.

No.

He was dead? That can't be true.

So he wasn't being ignored? He wasn't feared? All those years he spent hating himself for not being noticed.. no one saw him. He was dead?

Reality hit him too fast to process. He didn't understand. Why him..? Why was he still there, then?

"Why can I see you..? Am I..?" (Y/n) whispered. She turned to the machine next to her and looked down at her sleeping body. The numbers were dropping and she felt like there was a countdown for her life.

Reality wasn't kind to her, either.

"This time, come with me. I am not leaving you behind." Chan held out his hand to (y/n). She stepped back.

"What? No. They need me. I can't just go. They will all suffer because of me. I should have neved even thought about doing what I did. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING! I JUST WANTED IT TO STOP. But not like this..." she whispered the last part.

"Life goes on. What's done is done. We can't change it. It will all work out and everyone will move forward. Trust me. I've seen it." He comforted her.

He reached out once more.

"I'm sorry I had to leave but I am here now. I won't leave you again."

She took his hand.

- BEEEEP-

#bang chan oneshot #bang chan #christopher bang #stray kids #stray kids oneshot #kpop angst #kpop #stray kids angst

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springsteenicious · 3 years

Photo

WRITING PLAYLIST #2 of 5

This one is for @those70scomics‘ fic, Jackie Stargazer (ao3 / ffnet). Keep in mind, I put this together. None of these songs are approved by MistyMountainHop, I just think they fit the vibe of her excellent fic. And I would like her to know that she has veto power over this playlist, meaning that if there is a song she feels does not fit on this playlist, she can tell me to take it off :D

I will also be adding to this as more of the story is published. Each time I add to it, I’ll make a post with the tag ‘Jackie Stargazer Playlist,’ so if you don’t want to see these, block that tag.

Listen to the playlist on Spotify! (Let me know if that link doesn't work, Spotify was being weird.)

Number of songs on the playlist (currently): 24 songs

Bands/artists: Cheap Trick, Deep Purple, Ezra Furman, The Kinks, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, Rainbow, Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow, The Dead Daisies, Black Sabbath

Significant Songs: All. So, under the cut is my explanation for each song, or just the important lyrics.

Downed by Cheap Trick - I’m gonna live on a mountain / way down under in Australia / it’s either that or suicide / its such a strange strain on you / Ooh, I got a mind / Over you it's not the first time / Ooh, I got a mind

Mean Streak by Deep Purple - This song is about Ro. It’s a kickass song and the lyrics fit her (and Hyde) very well. --- She drive me crazy gets inside my brain / She spun my money down the drain, ohh / So I roll over for my reward / How much can I afford? / She says, "Just a little more" --- I can't take this no more / Tried so hard but I can't get through the door / Because one smile from those eyes / And I stand there paralyzed / And she says, "You better beg for more I mean / Get down sucker you know what I like"

Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple - I am returning / The echo of a point in time / A distant face that shines --- I am the echo of your past

Black Night by Deep Purple - The whole song is relevant to Jackie.

The Queen Of Hearts by Ezra Furman - See this post.

Destroyer by The Kinks - Again, relevant to Jackie. --- She said, man, there's really something wrong with you / One day you’re gonna self-destruct / You're up, you're down, I cant work you out / You get a good thing going then you blow yourself out / Silly boy, ya self-destroyer / Silly boy, ya self-destroyer / Silly boy, you got so much to live for / So much to aim for, so much to try for / You blowing it all with paranoia / You're so insecure, you self-destroyer

Serve The Servants by Nirvana - Teenage angst has paid off well / Now I'm bored and old / Self-appointed judges judge / More than they have sold --- Serve the servants / That legendary divorce is such a bore / As my bones grew they did hurt / They hurt really bad / I tried hard to have a father / But instead I had a dad / I just want you to know that I / Don't hate you anymore / There is nothing I could say / That I haven't thought before

Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana - Just. This song is so good. And can be very easily applied to JS. --- She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak / I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks / I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap / I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black --- Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet / Cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath / Broken hymen of Your Highness, I'm left black / Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back --- I got a new complaint / Forever in debt to your priceless advice

Rape Me by Nirvana - Self-explanatory.

All Apologies by Nirvana - What else should I write? / I don't have the right / What else should I be? / All apologies --- I wish I was like you / Easily amused / Find my nest of salt / Everything is my fault / I'll take all the blame / Aqua Sea Foam shame / Sunburn freezer burn / Choking on the ashes of her enemy

Corduroy by Pearl Jam - This song is amazing and I could write so much about this and how it fits not just Jackie but Hyde too. If you listen to the song and follow along with the lyrics, you’ll see what I mean.

State Of Love And Trust by Pearl Jam - State of love and trust as I busted down the pretext / Sin still plays and preaches, but to have an empty court, uh huh / And the signs are passin', grip the wheel, can't read it / Sacrifice receiving the smell that's on my hands, hands, yeah / And I listen for the voice inside my head / Nothin', I'll do this one myself

Once by Pearl Jam - I admit it / What's to say / I'll relive it / Without pain / Backstreet lover on the side of the road / I got a bomb in my temple that is gonna explode --- Once upon a time / I could control myself / Ooh, once upon a time / I could lose myself, yeah / Oh, try and mimic / What's insane / I am in it / Where do I stand? --- Ooh, once upon a time / I could love myself, yeah / Once upon a time / I could love you

Release by Pearl Jam - Again, relevant to Jackie. Just look at the lyrics.

Black by Pearl Jam - Like Corduroy, if you follow the lyrics while listening you’ll see why I put this on the playlist.

Paranoid Eyes by Pink Floyd - You believed in their stories of fame, fortune and glory / Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age / The pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high / And you hide, hide, hide / Behind brown and mild eyes

The Thin Ice by Pink Floyd - Again, Jackie. And again, just pay attention to the lyrics.

Stargazer by Rainbow - I will be completely honest with you, I chose this mostly for the title. The song is kind of a stretch, but if you look at the lyrics a certain way, the wizard is kind of Hyde. Anyway, I kept it on the list for the chorus(es): Where is your star? / Is it far, is it far, is it far? / When do we leave? / I believe, yes, I believe

Still I’m Sad by Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow - See the stars come fallin down the sky / Gently passing, they kiss your tear drops dry / See the wind come, softly blow / Your hair from your face --- For myself my tears just fall in the dust / As I search in the night and find they're lost / See the wind come gently blow / Time into my heart / And the rain comes falling down / While were apart / Still I'm sad

Unspoken by The Dead Daisies - Mostly because the lyrics fit, also there is a Degenerate Matter song with this same title --- In the oneness now you realize / Lost your compass and I sympathize / In the darkness now you fade to grey / In the stillness you will make your way / Oh, I can hear you breathe / Unspoken, you gotta let go / Unspoken, you're out in the glow / Unbroken, you let it all flow

Like No Other (Bassline) by The Dead Daisies - Don't breathe in the air on the dark side / It's a lie, you will go insane / You fall down, down deep in the landslide / Who am I, who am I? / You lose your head in the music / Move up and kiss the sky / You slip away and refuse it / Do or die, do or die

Come Alive by The Dead Daisies - Come alive / You can start over / Now take me by the hand and come alive / Gotta break your malady / You got to live your life free / So come alive

Resurrected by The Dead Daisies - Stare in the mirror, lines on my face, yeah / I wonder where the time has gone / It's been a long hard road out from the grave / But I keep a moving on / I been up, down, turned around / Kicked hard to the ground / Keep a coming back again / From the ashes, from the flame / I'm here to light the fire again / I'm back, resurrected

Paranoid by Black Sabbath - Sadly, this is yet another Jackie song. --- I need someone to show me / The things in life that I can't find / I can't see the things that make / True happiness, I must be blindMake a joke and I will sigh / And you will laugh and I will cry / Happiness I cannot feel / And love to me is so unreal

If you have questions about the songs or don't get why I put them on, feel free to ask!

#Jackie Stargazer Playlist #springsteenicious' writing playlists #that 70s show

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autisticlalna · 3 years

Text

Shatter

YEP ITS ANOTHER DREAMOUT FIC i actually posted this on ao3 earlier but didnt want to put it on tumblr yet because i hate having to reformat everything for tumblr. hellsite.

techno and dream have a fun duel where nothing bad happens! or, well, permanently bad. consequences are a myth. inspired by SAD-ist’s incredible animation and @/iskall-ium’s incredible fanart!

i recommend you read the ao3 version because it has a fun formatting thing i cant do on tumblr. at least scroll through it or smth.

[ ao3 link ]

Right. Okay. Dream inhaled, exhaled, looked over his tools. Shield. Axe. Crossbow. Fishing rod. Diamond armor fastened over his hoodie and sweatpants. Across the way, he knew Technoblade was doing the same thing. If he looked nervous, it wasn’t like anyone would be able to tell; as usual, his porcelain mask obscured every fraction of emotion he could be displaying, and he kept his body language loose and casual as if this was just a friendly spar between buddies.

Which, okay, it was. It just also happened to have a huge reward on the line. No big.

We can do this, the mask’s wearer thought. Come on, we’re unstoppable! Unbeatable! What can Technoblade do that we can’t?

The pointed silence from the mask was filled with the enthusiastic announcer listing off Techno’s various accomplishments as he hyped up the crowd. Dream grimaced.

Okay. Well. …My bad.

It was too late to reconsider, anyway. There was no way he could turn this offer down, and they’d both already came all this way. He just needed to be at the top of his game, even if he wasn’t entirely in his element. All he needed to do was knock Techno down before Techno could knock him down.

It was hard. The two of them were evenly matched, sword and axe clashing, crowd cheering; Dream was getting winded, and he could only push himself so far for so long before it caught up to him. But… this was it. He’d never felt more alive. Both sides of him were working in unison to feint and swing and dodge; his axe felt like an extension of himself in his hands, his reflexes as razor-sharp as the weapon itself. The crowd screaming for him, for his victory, gave him the energy he needed to keep going.

First to six, the rules were. Best of ten. Dream just needed to take Techno down six times total, and that was game. Nevermind the nervous energy buzzing through him. The finals were closing in; he’d fought hard, but so had his opponent. Two more rounds, that’s all he needed. Two more rounds of surviving Techno and beating him down. He could do that. He’d been doing plenty of that, their back and forth tug-of-war only just starting to slip in Techno’s favour. He’d tied the score once already, he could keep up. Even if they tied again, he was still certain he could get the upper hand in a tiebreaker. He just needed to keep going.

Hurts, was the complaint before the start of Round 9. Dream pulled his hood up and tried to not think about it. It was true, though— he was getting worn down, and the healing wounds from the previous eight rounds still lingered. The organizers of the duel were kind enough to provide medical assistance after each bout, and these aches and pains wouldn’t stay for long, but it still tallied up. For a moment he wondered how Techno was faring, but a quick glance at the scoreboard reminded him that despite the five rounds’ worth of fading injuries he was still lugging around, he’d only taken Techno down a total of three.

Well, he was about to make it four.

One last check. Dream adjusted the straps on his armor, then after a moment made sure his mask was on tight too— he couldn’t afford it slipping off mid-battle. Axe was sharp, shield was at the ready, both of them comforting in his hands. “We can do this,” he said, even though there was a groan of protest underlying his words. Hm. Since when had they switched opinions on this? He cracked a grin at the comedy of it.

No time to think about it. The gate separating him from his opponent lowered block by block— three, two, one— and then Dream could see Techno standing on the other side of the arena. The two met each other’s gazes (as much as they could with one of them wearing a mask, anyway), exchanged a nod that said more than any words could, and then Dream’s axe was at the ready and Techno had his sword and the two of them flung into battle.

Parry, step, back up— Dream’s fought Techno enough times now to see his movements coming. The diamond sword swung wide, but any distance Dream put between them Techno closed. The first few moves were always the most stressful; either of them could get the upper hand, and the pig was pressing his attack and giving Dream no room to try anything

An opening— Techno jabbed forward. His blade didn’t cut into Dream’s side like he’d hoped, though, as the mask in a hoodie blocked it with his shield last-second. That mistake was all Dream needed. His ferocious grin was visible under his mask as he tilted his head back, and Techno flung himself away as the axe came down hard enough to crack the arena’s flooring. A miss! Well, at least they’d both made a mistake, and Techno’s sword was still firmly embedded in his shield—

Techno lunged forward. Dream raised his shield again on instinct, and his eyes widened behind the mask as Techno’s leg snapped up in a powerful kick that sent the sword spinning into the air. Dream barely had time to take that in before Techno swung around and drove that same foot into his gut. His startled wheeze was drowned out by the roar of the crowd as Techno swept his legs out from under him; he couldn’t make out the words the crowd was chanting, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was something directed at Techno.

Uh oh! Techno catching his sword was visually impressive, but also horrible news. Dream grabbed his shield and sprang out of the way as the sequence of sword-swipes got uncomfortably close. He needed some distance. His health was getting worryingly low, and he wasn’t above playing the defensive game until he regenerated enough to dive back into the fray.

FISHING LINE! Techno whipped out his fishing rod and cast his line in a fluid motion. For a glorious moment, Dream thought he’d missed, but a quick glance dashed his hopes as he saw the hook catch on the baggy material of his hoodie. I told you the hoodie was a bad idea!

No room to shout back about it being his brand. Dream spun to try and dislodge the hook, but the fishing line coiled around him and he was helpless as Techno swung him up into the air. His shield clattered to the ground far below, and he stared at his empty hand in dismay before sparing a glance at the scene awaiting his landing.

Techno had him right where he wanted him. Dream fell as gravity caught up to him, and the pig charged to meet him with sword ready. With how ensnared he was, there was no way for Dream to escape his rapidly approaching fate. He just needs one more win! We’re done for!

No we’re not! He had one arm free, and that’s all he needed to whip out his axe and slice through his bonds. Gravity was working in his favour, now, as Dream was poised to bring his axe down with all his strength. The sight of Techno’s unshakable deadpan expression shifting just the slightest to show concern caused him to grin painfully wide, and even his opponent bracing himself behind Dream’s abandoned shield didn’t slow him down.

The shield cracked as Dream’s axe cut through it and into Techno’s leg. The pig grunted in pain, but wasn’t fast enough with his sword as Dream brought his axe down again. The crowd erupted into a mix of booming cheers and devastated yelling; the scoreboard ticked over to show 5 - 4, with Techno only one point in the lead now. Dream picked up his shield from where it had fallen and watched as it mended itself now that the round was over. Convenient.

Techno would be fine. Dream closed his eyes, and when he opened them again he was back in the prep room. People were waiting for him with questions and encouragement, and Dream deftly dodged them as he rummaged around for the medical supplies. Across the way, he knew Technoblade was doing the same thing.

He didn’t have long to recover. I’m tired. He was just gonna have to deal with that. All he had to do was outlast Technoblade. He’d been hyped up as the best, and he was going to prove it. If Techno got one more win, then it was over, so all Dream needed to do was make sure he did not get that win.

His hand still trembled as he bandaged it. Dream stared down at it, impassive, as he willed his body to keep working just a little longer. He was pushing the limits, he knew, he couldn’t ignore it, but if he could hold out just a little longer… He clenched his fist. “What was it you said, earlier? We can do this? We’re unbeatable?”

I want to sleep for a week.

Time’s up. He’s got his shield, he’s got his axe, and Dream’s out the door striding with purpose. One foot in front of the other. He picked up the pace, his walk turning into a run, and then Techno lunged at him and he was back in the fray.

He’d adjusted his loadout before the match, and the look of shock on Technoblade’s face was immensely satisfying as the axe he’d been brandishing was exchanged for a loaded crossbow. The arrow just barely nicked Techno, but it’d done its job of throwing him off his rhythm; the game had changed, and the tactics both of them had used last round weren’t going to work again. Dream ducked and weaved away from the flashing blade of Techno’s diamond sword; Techno was pushing him back again, but this time the masked combatant was able to put distance between them as he reloaded his crossbow. A risky move, sure, but he was gaining confidence.

Maybe too much confidence. Techno nocked an arrow and drew it back, and Dream had enough time to realize oh, crap, he has a bow too before blocking the arrow in the nick of time with his shield. What, had Techno forgotten he had it or something? Time to punish him for that mistake. He gripped the handle of his axe tight and swung; Techno’s sword lashed out to meet him.

The two weapons slipped past each other.

Dream’s mask split

down the middle

and Techno saw a pair of red eyes staring at him in fear and alarm from behind blonde bangs.

The two halves of the porcelain mask clattered to the arena ground. Techno’s crown followed right after. The crowd exploded in an uproar, and the man in the green hoodie stumbled woozily before raising a hand to press it against his face. His… bare face. His eyes widened in panic; there was a stinging line across his nose from where the tip of Techno’s blade had nicked him, but that wasn’t what he was focusing on right now.

What he was focusing on, Techno couldn’t tell. It clearly wasn’t the fight.

The maskless man’s eyes darted around from Techno to the shattered mask on the ground, to the axe in his hand, to the scoreboard, to the crowd. Oh, god, he was screwed. He wasn’t a fighter, he was a builder! What was he doing here?! What was he going to do?! He needed to end this fast. End the fight, and then figure out what to do next. Figure out what to do now that Dream—

Techno swung. The blonde launched himself back in an impressive flip; his muscles were screaming from strain, but the adrenaline kept him moving even as his consciousness wavered. His knees buckled as he landed, but somehow he stayed upright and floundered for a plan. Dream’s crossbow was still loaded. Hand-to-hand wasn’t his forte, but he could aim. Techno made an undignified yelp as he shot the sword out of his hand; the weapon landed point-first in the ground, and before Techno could even think of retrieving it he’d already pulled out Dream’s axe and was moving in for the swing.

It cracked into the ground. A miss! Techno had seen him move, had expected it, and before he could try again the pig had lasso’d the handle of the axe with his fishing line. With clean ease he flicked it up out of reach; red eyes tracked it arc through the air, and then Techno’s foot slammed into his gut with enough force to crack a rib and knock him prone.

Techno looked down at him. He looked up as the pig caught Dream’s axe— casual, collected, unaffected— and then swung.

The axe stopped millimeters from his neck. Techno cocked his head to one side as if surveying him. Anything either of them thought to say was drowned out by the score ticking up 6-4 and the explosion of sound from the crowd and announcers deafening them both; Techno’s smile was equal parts relieved and exhausted, and he mirrored the expression. Oh, yeah, he could definitely sleep for a week.

He grabbed the hand offered to him and let Techno haul him to his feet. There was yelling and cheering and questions, and he leaned on Techno and shielded his face the best he could with his arm. Thankfully the spotlight was on Techno, and so he was able to pull his hood down further and hide as much as possible before anyone started asking questions about the man behind the mask.

Speaking of. Techno tapped him on the arm, and he peered at the pig in a mix of curiosity and unease. In his hand was the mask— intact, mended from its break down the middle by whatever had been mending their weapons and armor, although the marker on it was a bit smudged. He took it and gave the other a grateful look, and that was the last anybody glimpsed of Brick’s face before he put Dream’s mask back on.

Oh, god, his head hurt. Every piece of him from head to toe felt sore and strained, and Dream struggled to settle in to a body that was completely and utterly done with what he’d just put it through. Okay, crowd’s cheering, though, that’s good. Did we win? He grabbed Techno’s wrist and held both their arms up, looked up at the fireworks bursting overhead in a shower of colourful sparks. No, seriously, what happened?

We lost, actually, Brick responded in a morose tone. Dream stopped. Can we go home?

Dream sputtered in shock. Sure enough, the scoreboard verified Brick’s claim. The crowd was cheering Techno’s name, and “quoting” Sun Tzu (Dream was pretty sure Sun Tzu had never said any of that), and all the noise was making his headache worse. Techno gave him a sideglance and Dream waved him off. What do you mean, we lost?! We— Urrggh— I can’t believe this—

Techno observed Dream grab his head, then groan in drawn-out agony as the adrenaline finally wore off and everything caught up to him. “You look like you need rest,” he said in a blunt tone. “You don’t look so good.”

Dream looked up at Techno and channeled as much incredulity into his body language as he could before his body— Brick’s body— finally decided it had enough and he collapsed. Techno looked down at the green heap of clothing, armor, and banged-up human at his feet, shrugged, and slung Dream over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes before making his way to the exit.

With everything else that happened that day, Dream’s shattering ended up being just a footnote they all soon forgot.

#txt #dream smp #dreamout au #heeueuuughhhh #leo.txt #leo.rtf

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litniche · 3 years

Text

Love Will Find a Way

Damie fic

Read it here on ao3

Chapter 14

“You’re the coolest,” Flora stage-whispered to Jamie. She was standing barefoot on Jamie’s feet, holding the gardener’s hands in a dance.

“I thought I was your favorite, Flora,” Owen said. He was dancing with Hannah next to them. His brows were scrunched together and the man was downright pouting.

“You are,” Miles answered for her, “but she’s right. Jamie’s the coolest.”

“This is your fault, you know,” Owen told Dani who was currently attempting to allow Miles to twirl her.“You’re the one that started them on that American lingo, as I recall.”

Dani let her jaw drop in mock offense. The expression made Jamie’s laugh bust out like it had been waiting to escape. Blue eyes followed the sound and they trailed Jamie’s form before meeting her gaze. As the song came to an end, Sheryl Crow’s I Shall Believe began to fade in.

Jamie cricked her neck in a gesture for Dani to move closer. She twirled Flora, delighting the young girl and said, “Not a bad dancer for a gremlin.”

Flora merely giggled in response and ran to Owen. “You next!” she demanded as she wrapped her arms around his waist, looking up at him with glee.

Hannah raised a brow, laughing good-naturedly. “I suppose my feet could use a rest.”

Miles, though, had other plans. “Ms. Grose, I was hoping you would honor me with a dance next.” He held out his hand in a gentlemanly offer and gave a slight bow.

Hannah gave him a warm smile and her hand. “Very well, dear.”

In the meantime, Dani had returned to Jamie’s side, an arm wrapped around the slim waist of the gardener. “I’m really going to miss them,” Dani sighed.

A corner of Jamie’s lips turned up in a small smile. “Well, uh, some good news on that front.”

Dani’s brow creased as she turned to face Jamie in silent question.

“Henry says they’ll be moving to America, after all. Says it’s time to move on from Bly. Too many ghosts.”

“What?” Dani asked with wide eyes, disbelief and earnest hope battling to display themselves in her expression. “America? Where? How? Why?”

Jamie rubbed the au pair’s arms up and down as she faced her with an amused smile. “Easy, Poppins. One question at a time.”

“Okay,” Dani agreed, attempting to remain calm. “Let’s start with where.”

“He hasn’t hammered out the details quite yet. Says he’s been talking to a few firms - places in New York City, Boston, Philadelphia, D.C. - but he doesn’t see any reason he couldn’t work remotely from anywhere.”

“Wow, okay. The kids know?”

“Not yet. Henry doesn’t want to tell them until he knows more.”

Dani nodded, turning to watch the children as they danced with Owen and Hannah. “That’s three down, two to go, then.”

The gardener tried to control a laugh, but failed, which resulted in a snort. She pulled the au pair closer to her and began swaying to the music. “Determined to keep us all together, are you?”

“Owen can open a restaurant in New York, is all I’m saying. Or, you know, Montpelier.”

Jamie hummed as she kissed Dani’s shoulder. “We’ll see, love. Hannah said we shouldn’t be afraid of our lives moving forward, and I reckon she’s right. We’ll keep in touch with everyone one way or another. Meantime,” she pulled back to lock gazes with her wife, “I’m going to enjoy married life.”

Dani’s smile spread. Her cheeks were aching from such a common occurrence. “Just how do you plan to do that, Mrs. Taylor?”

“Ooh, is it too late to take your last name? Last person I knew who went by that name was my mum, and well, yikes.”

Dani grimaced. “Sorry. I was trying to be cute.”

With a chuckle, Jamie nuzzled Dani’s nose with her own. “Success, regardless, Poppins.”

“But um,” Dani averted her gaze, looking down a mite shly. “You could,” she said softly.

“Could what?”

“Take my name. If you want, I mean.”

“Right. Jamie Poppins it is, then.”

Dani rolled her eyes and leaned away, but Jamie held her close, disallowing escape. “You love it.”

Shaking her head, but grinning like a fool, Dani nodded. “I do.”

***

Dani tip-toed in the kitchenette of the Airbnb Jamie and she were renting in Barcelona for their honeymoon, doing her best to quietly make a pot of tea. Now, was it tea leaves, water and milk in the kettle, and then the addition of sugar after the tea had brewed? That seemed right. She’d try that.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asked a sleepy voice behind her.

The au pair’s stomach gave a pleasant turn when two arms wrapped around her waist from behind. She closed her eyes and smiled as Jamie’s hands roamed, one crossing Dani’s front to massage a breast and the other travelling from her hip to her thigh, devilishly slow and firm.

“Making tea?” Dani tried to say, but her words were barely audible amidst the small gasp she let out. She revelled in the casual intimacy that came with them truly being on their own. Turning in Jamie’s arms, she draped her own over the gardener’s shoulders as the other woman effectively pinned her against the counter.

“Tea?” Jamie asked with a hint of incredulity, tipping her head at an angle so that her lips were hovering above Dani’s. “You sure about that, Poppins?”

Dani gave a small laugh. “Not really,” she admitted.

“Right,” said Jamie, “this has gone on long enough. I suppose it’s my duty to show you how to make a proper cuppa now that we’re married. Come now. Turn around.”

Dani's expression became serious with concentration as she turned back to the tea. She nodded and followed Jamie’s directions, asking questions as Jamie began to make what she called a 'white without.’ Except, a few seconds in, Jamie started brushing her lips softly at Dani's ear. She took a lobe between her teeth and, well, maybe Dani could learn how to make tea some other day.

“How am I supposed to do this with your tongue in my ear?”

“Complaining?”

“Never.”

“Thank Christ,” Jamie said as she brushed Dani’s hair to one side. She rucked up Dani’s nightshirt, making Dani’s breath hitch when her arms wove around the au pair to each hold a breast. As she massaged them, she dotted kisses along Dani’s newly exposed shoulder and neck. Then all at once, she ran her hands down Dani’s stomach, to the inside of her thighs.

Dani, in the meantime, was doing all that she could to remain standing. Her heart skipped a beat with every kiss that brushed against her skin and her lungs couldn’t seem to hold enough air. It was as if her body was determined to fall apart at the seams for Jamie, and Dani was far too occupied with the ecstasy of it to mind.

Another ragged breath, and Jamie coaxed Dani to turn in her arms, to face her once more, and at last let their lips collide. And, just like that, it was like Dani could breathe again. Jamie had somehow become the very air she breathed all the while taking her breath away - a puzzle Dani had no intention of solving.

At some point, Jamie had decided Dani was wearing too many clothes, ridding her of her nightshirt in what Dani had momentarily felt was a rude interruption of their kiss. A gentle grip on Dani’s wrist guided her hands away from Jamie’s waist so that the gardener could kiss her way down Dani’s middle until she was kneeling before her. Dani’s hands, aching to touch Jamie somewhere, to hold her somehow, wove themselves into Jamie’s curls as she whispered her wife’s name into the cold morning air.

Jamie hummed in question, her mouth otherwise affording Dani’s hipbone with attention.

“I love you,” Dani answered. Simple as that.

Jamie paused to say the words back: “I love you, too, Poppins.”

“Marry me, then?” Dani said with a grin before Jamie’s tongue began to work, inching toward Dani’s center, but stopping just before it came to where Dani needed Jamie most. The heat of her breath made Dani shiver and she bit her lip to unsuccessfully stop an ingracious moan.

“Too late for that,” Jamie said as she retreated to pepper kisses along the inside of Dani’s thigh.

“We could renew our vows,” Dani suggested through another gasp as Jamie nipped at her hip.

“I think, traditionally, there’s a bit of a waiting period on that, Poppins. Say...a week?”

Dani chuckled amidst her panting, her hands gripping Jamie’s hair harder of their own volition whenever Jamie ghosted her lips over a particularly sensitive spot. “Shame. I really enjoyed marrying you.”

Jamie hummed her ascent before at last diving in to the very center of Dani’s sex, effectively ending the conversation. Dani felt tension climbing as Jamie made her tongue flat and rocked it back and forth, the sensation something like molten lava against her. In merely a few moments, Dani gripped the edge of the counter, the heels of her palms pressing into it as her hips canted forward. Jamie hummed her approval and the vibration made Dani throw her head back. “Jamie,” she managed, “please.”

And Jamie knew what she wanted, what she needed. She pressed harder into Dani with her tongue and quickened the pace. A digit teased at Dani’s entrance, and, finding Dani more than ready, slid inside. The movement was slow but firm at first, but rapidly came to match the pace of Jamie’s racing tongue. Dani couldn’t imagine feeling anything more pleasurable until Jamie added a second digit. Her vision went dark. The pitch of her voice, as she moaned out Jamie’s name, climbed higher, until finally, she and the world collapsed at once. Jamie held her in place while Dani pleaded for her to never stop.

And Jamie didn’t. Jamie would never.

After an uncertain amount of time had passed, Dani felt her presence of mind return and she caressed Jamie’s jawline to indicate that she needed a break.

The gardener rose, her fingertips slowly tracing her way up Dani’s body, followed by her mouth, until she stood before the au pair. She wrapped her arms around Dani’s waist, kissing her shoulder, her neck, then her jaw ever so gently.

Dani let her head rest on Jamie’s shoulder as she caught her breath. “To think,” she began, chuckling at first and then outright giggling.

“What?” Jamie said, pulling back with a sympathetic smile.

“They gave us a license to do that,” Dani laughed.

Jamie snorted before she rolled her eyes and swatted Dani’s rear playfully. “I don’t exactly consider you heavy machinery, Poppins. I can operate you well enough without a license.”

“Still,” Dani pressed on, too amused to stop. “You have one.”

“As do you,” Jamie grinned on Dani’s lips.

“Hmmm,” Dani hummed as her thumbs tucked themselves underneath the hem of Jamie’s shirt. “I suppose I should use it, then.”

“Reckon you could do, yeah.” The words said were a bit of a tease, but Jamie’s tone had shifted to something heavier.

In answer, Dani’s grin faded. Her expression shifted to something hungrier and more determined before she pressed her lips to her wife’s. Her brows rose upon tasting herself there, but the reminder of what Jamie had been doing a few minutes ago made her realize how much she wanted to return the favor. She parted them only to lift Jamie’s shirt. She hitched one of Jamie’s legs around a hip, then the other. With her wife’s weight resting on her hips, she walked them over to the couch that came with an ocean view. Yet she only had eyes for the sight beneath her: Jamie, hair mussed from sleep and Dani’s own hands tangling themselves in her curls; her lips kissed to the point of being swollen; her eyes searching and dark.

Jamie’s brows twitched together as she smiled sweetly up at Dani. “What is it, Poppins?”

“I really love you, you know,” Dani said, surprised to hear her voice shaking slightly.

Jamie sat up to cup the au pair’s chin in her hands. “I do. And, I really love you, Poppins. Far too much, maybe. But, maybe that's all right.”

Dani felt herself melt as she hovered nearer. “What’s too much, anyway?”

“Haven’t the faintest,” Jamie smiled, drawing Dani further down into a kiss. “Though I wouldn’t hate it if you gave it the old college try.”

Dani giggled on her wife’s lips. “I can do that,” she said, before doing her very best.

****

“Well, how is it?”

Jamie lifted one brow toward her phone’s screen at the question as she popped a mini pretzel in her mouth. “Need a little more, mate. How’s what?”

“Married life!” Owen said, scoffing as if it were obvious.

“Oh,” she said with a gentle roll of her eyes and a smile. She looked toward Dani who was behind the counter, currently fussing with a bouquet for a customer that would be arriving to pick it up soon. “It’s good. Wonderful. Much the same, really, just...more.”

“And the honeymoon? How was sunny Barcelona?”

Jamie tried not to let her mind wander, but…

“Jay,” Dani said breathlessly against her neck as Jamie teased her. “Please, more.”

“Chm, good. Good. Fine. Yeah.”

“Must’ve been better than fine,” he laughed. “You’re beet red.”

“Fuck you, mate.”

Owen barked out a laugh and apparently threw his phone amidst his fits. A few expletives later, he had his camera trained back on himself. He was still wearing a shit-eating grin that Jamie was hard pressed to forgive.

“Are you two playing nice?” Dani asked with that teacher’s voice that downright made Jamie shiver.

“Yes,” Jamie and Owen said at the same time.

Dani laughed as she sat on Jamie’s lap. “Everything set?”

“Hannah has it all planned,” Owen affirmed. “We’ll be arriving the twenty-first and can stay a full week. I’ll need to be back at the restaurant for New Year’s Eve. One of our regulars has rented it out, full service.”

“We’ll get you for Christmas, at least, then,” Dani smiled. “Can’t wait. Henry and the kids will be here, just after you, on the twenty-second.”

“We can’t wait either. There’s nothing more we wish for this Christmas than to be in your presents.”

Dani turned to face Jamie. “Bad,” she said.

“So bad,” Jamie nodded in agreement, mirth dancing in her eyes.

“Tough crowd. I feel downright sleighed.”

“Goodbye, Sharma,” said Jamie.

With a bow and one last chuckle, Owen waved. “It’s literally the season of giving. Don’t be elfish.”

“Goodbye!” Jame said again and tapped her phone, ending the video call. She felt Dani bounce a little in her lap as she stifled her laughter.

“So bad,” Dani whispered, but there was a smile in her voice.

“The worst,” Jamie agreed as she looked up into Dani’s eyes, wearing a grin despite herself.

Dani nuzzled her before dipping for a kiss. “Christmas in Vermont. Think it’ll snow?”

“Here’s hoping.”

“How hard does it have to snow for flights to be cancelled? Maybe they’ll have to stick around a little longer.”

“Poppins,” Jamie chastised with amusement.

“That’s Mrs. Poppins to you.”

“Right,” Jamie said, smacking herself in the forehead gently. “Apologies, Mrs.Poppins.”

Dani decided to forgive her with a grinning kiss.

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

Text

what its worth jack daniels x reader

+++++++++

they did his character so dirty and im still kinda salty about it. i know this one is a little ooc and doesnt feature him as much as i was hoping it would but this was the first fic with him that i started. much like the javi stories i have others started, including a three parter that is much more in detail. so if yall dont like this one i get it, its not my greatest, but know it gets better and i do have others i promise

pregnant!reader, and no its not jack's lol

Song: ill always be around by waterparks

tag list: @cynic-spirit

++++++++

i leaned back into the kitchen island and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"do you want to go to the doctor appointment with me or not?"

i said a little irritated into the phone.

"i dont see why i need to."

i shrugged.

"gee, i dont know, maybe because im carrying your kid?!"

i said a little dumbfounded, hearing him let out an exasperated laugh.

"who said i wanted it?"

he asked and i could feel the rage boil through me.

"no one said either of us wanted it zach, but here we are."

i said sternly.

"this was just supposed to be casual hookups, this isnt my fault."

i snorted.

"actually it is. im sorry you'd rather hit it raw and not deal with the consequences.

i heard him sigh into the receiver.

"why dont you get your new boyfriend to take you? hes old enough to be a dad."

i closed my eyes and breathed deeply.

"You fucking suck you know that?"

I said softly, hearing him scoff into the phone.

"I thought that maybe you would want to be here for this baby, it's yours too ya know."

i turned around and placed my elbows on the counter, hearing a rustling in the background.

"look, y/n, i was excited when we found out ill admit that. but ive been think the last three months since we found out and there is no way im fit to be a dad yet. we're both barely out of college, i dont have a steady job, rent is killing me right now. i cant afford a baby; i can barely take care of myself."

i closed my eyes and dropped my head down.

"you know if i put your name on the birth certificate you are legally obligated to help right?"

i asked and there was a long pause. i looked down the hall when i heard the bedroom door creak open.

"and? whats yoour point?"

he asked and i rolled my eyes, looking up as jack walked in with a yawn, his hair messy from his nap. i would've laughed if i weren't so stressed.

"and, youll be paying child support. so you can either step up now and help me get things ready or when it gets here we can go to court and figure out exactly how much you'll be paying a month."

there was another long silence. i knew he was resisting the urge to turn his apartment upside down in a fit of rage. that was part of the reason i told him i didnt wan to date him. our relationship was purely sexual and i wanted to keep it that way, until things changed and we decided to keep this.

"then i guess we'll let the courts decided, cause im not doing this now."

he said sternly and i clenched my jaw, watching jack as he walked around the counter, moving to hug me from behind.

"i guess youll be hearing from my lawyer then."

i said, feeling jacks thumb rub circles into my ever growing baby bump.

"i guess i will."

zach said and i hung up on him, slamming my phone down onto the counter and hanging my head in defeat.

"Zach again?"

He asked and I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Isn't it always?"

I asked and he laughed a little bit, pulling me up and pressing his chest into my back.

"Wish it would've been me."

He said, kissing my neck softly. i sighed, leaning back into him as he wrapped his arms fully around my waist, hands planted firmly against my stomach.

"You and me both."

I agreed, feeling the vibration as he hummed against my ear.

"If only I woulda come along one month sooner."

He said amused, loosening his grip as I moved to turn and face him, placing my hands against his bare chest. Now I could laugh as i looked over him, a sleeping grin across his face as i reached up and fluffed his already messed hair. he was cute when he was sleepy.

"Surely you wouldn't do the same to me,"

I said, looking over his face a little worried.

"Would you?"

I asked and he shook his head frantically.

"Of Course not baby."

He reassured, noticing the tears beginning in my eyes and reaching up to cup my face in his hands. God damn I never cried this much before the kid. he looked between my eyes before kissing me gently, his mustache tickling my lip.

"no, i love you sweetheart. and i I only hope you decide to keep me around long enough to see it grow up."

He said softly and I let out a sob-laugh, his hand going back to my stomach.

"Really?"

I asked and he nodded, looking between my eyes.

"all i ever wanted was a family."

he said softly, leaning in and pressing his forehead into mine.

"If you'll let me, I'd love to stick around and help you take care of it. I know I'm not their actual dad but that doesn't mean I don't want to be a stand in."

He said and I could feel one of the tears slip down my cheek as i closed my eyes, nodding quickly against him as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him to me.

"I would love that jack."

I said through I sob. I could feel him smiling as he moved to kiss my cheek.

"I love you."

He said, pulling away a bit. I couldn't help the smile on my face as I leaned up to kiss him gently again. When I pulled away I sniffled, blinking the tears away.

"I love you too jack."

#wattpad #x reader #jack daniels #kingsman golden circle #one shots #imagines #301 #agent whiskey

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

Text

you are the taste of something sweet (and i’m tangled in the sheets)

hi i couldnt sleep so i wrote sleepy morning jalex and now i still cant sleep so im posting it. at 6am yes yes move on

this takes place in the same ‘verse as all hung up like i was on you (tumblr link), the fic based on t-shirt by thomas rhett. it might be better to read that first but if u dont feel like it then all u need to know is alex is a middle school teacher, jack has an office job, they are boyfriends yeah that’s all

this is fluffy fluff and i don’t think there are even any tws on it so!! fun for the whole family. (i mean there’s swearing but. at this point it’s a given)

title from holly (would you turn me on?) absolutely chuffed as they say to be finally using that as a title. just totally stoked i cant lie

read it here on ao3

Later, when Alex is more eloquent, he'll say that Jack is golden.

Or, no. More like Jack takes golden light and weaves it into something new, some gleaming…well, something. The point is that later on Alex will have the words, but right now he doesn't.

Right now, he just has the picture, but what a beautiful picture it is.

Jack is still asleep. Alex doesn't fault him, since it's Saturday and he's only just woken up himself, even though the clock has informed him it's half past noon and the sun is already high in the sky. Alex could move. He could get up, pull on some sweats, and shuffle into the kitchen to make some mid-afternoon coffee and brunch (breakfast eaten at lunchtime). Sure. He could.

But God, Jack is so gorgeous.

It's been a little while since Alex has had the opportunity just to watch Jack sleep. He watches Jack whenever he can, watches him shouting at the Orioles on TV (because honestly they could not possibly have chosen a less competent team to back), watches him pore over documents Alex still doesn't quite understand the nature of, watches him when he drives Alex home, windows down, breeze ruffling through his clothes and hair, singing terribly along with whatever early 2000s pop punk song happens to come on shuffle. It's so easy to watch him because there's always something to see; Jack is motion manifested, always on, always shifting like ripples in water, never quite the same on a second glance.

But now, though. Now is special. Moments like these are special, because for once Jack is still, and what a stunning still photograph he makes. Long eyelashes over sharp cheekbones, dark hair contrasted against the white pillowcase, the blanket falling just low enough that his left shoulder is exposed, ink from the tattoo sprawling over tan skin. Alex could drink it in for the rest of his life, and he doubts he'd ever grow tired.

It must be a few minutes, but Alex is happy not to keep track. Eventually Jack stirs, and his eyelids twitch before he opens his eyes, slowly. When his gaze meets Alex's, he smiles, lazily.

"G'morning," he says huskily. The sleep hasn't cleared from his voice. Alex hopes it never does.

"Morning," he answers.

"Time?"

"Don't ask."

Jack breathes a tired laugh at that. "How long you been up?"

Alex feels a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Ten minutes, maybe."

"And you've been just sitting here watching me sleep?" Jack's eyes flutter shut as he smiles. "Creep."

Alex can't help it; he reaches out, fingertips landing on Jack's face, thumb tracing underneath his eye. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs. Jack exhales quietly, happily. "I love waking up with you." Wish I could do it every day, he means.

They haven't discussed it, but maybe it's time they do.

"You're not so bad yourself," Jack says warmly in return, but he doesn't open his eyes.

Alex drags the pad of his thumb down Jack's jaw, then brushes over his cheek with the plane of his index finger, taking his time to trace the outline of the most beautiful face he's had the good fortune of falling in love with. Jack doesn't move, and his halfway smile doesn't waver as Alex smoothes his thumb over Jack's lips. "My Jack," he says softly. In the sanctuary of this morning, from the golden boy at the end of Alex's fingertips to the promise of sunshine and coffee when they finally get up, it's easy to add, "I love you."

At this Jack's smile does grow, and he finally opens his eyes. Alex can't even imagine what he sees. A man too far gone for his own good, probably.

"Wait, say it again," he says. "I didn't get to look at you before."

It's so profoundly Jack that Alex has to swallow back a laugh. "I love you," he repeats, and the words taste like glitter and sunlight and Jack's smile is gold, pure gold.

"I love you too," he says, the most beautiful four-four measure Alex has ever heard, like Jack has somehow figured out a way to twist stardust into language; the shortest love song ever written, just for Alex's ears.

Alex smiles, and he knows he's not half as radiant as Jack when he does, but it's not like he could stop himself. To be in love with Jack is a privilege all by itself; for Jack to be in love with him, Alex thinks he must have been some kind of Odyssean hero in a past life.

"We should get up," Jack finally says, and Alex realizes he's lapsed into silence again, drinking in the sight of Jack once more. "At some point."

"Nah," Alex says. He threads his fingers through Jack's hair and shifts closer, until Jack rolls onto his back and Alex can lean over him, arms braced against the pillow. "I disagree."

"Oh, well, in that case," Jack says dryly, but he hasn't stopped smiling since his eyes opened to meet Alex's.

"We should stay here forever," Alex suggests. He ducks down and presses a kiss to Jack's cheek, and Jack giggles. "We should stay here," and he drops another kiss on Jack's other cheek, "and never go anywhere," his temple, "or see anyone," his nose, "or do anything else forever," and he starts trailing kisses down the line of Jack's jaw.

"We'll both be fired," Jack says pragmatically.

Alex shakes his head. "Don't care. We'll become hermits. I'm pretty sure hermits get a monthly check from, like, Hermits United."

"I think you watch too much Doctor Who."

Somehow this startles a laugh out of Alex, and he pulls away for a moment to look Jack in the face. "But you got the reference, so who's the real geek?"

When Jack laughs this time, Alex feels it vibrate against his lips where he's leaving soft kisses down the line of Jack's throat. "Oh, God. This is my worst nightmare. You've made me a Doctor Who fan." Then, "If anyone was going to corrupt me, of course it would be you."

Alex pulls back again, smiling in the gleaming light of Jack's fond look. "I hardly think Doctor Who is how I'm going to corrupt you. Didn't I just suggest we both get sacked and hole up in your apartment?"

"That's true." Jack skims a hand up Alex's chest and curls his fingers around Alex's neck. "I kinda liked that idea, though. Tell me more."

Alex hums. "Well, I can promise you it will involve a lot of this," and he dips down to kiss Jack on the lips, slowly, intently, savoring every second, committing the taste to memory in case anyone ever asks him what sunlight tastes like.

Jack smiles against Alex's mouth, so Alex moves back just a breath. "I'm convinced," Jack mumbles. His fingernails scratch lightly at the back of Alex's neck, at the ends of his hair. "I'm in. Let's do it."

Alex chuckles and lowers himself down, kissing Jack again with absolutely no intention of stopping, and Jack lets him, and after a moment Alex thinks of something to say that requires breaking the kiss, so he does.

"Move in with me?" he asks.

Jack hums. "You should move in with me," he says. "All your shit is here anyway, and I live closer to your school."

"Sounds like you've thought about it."

"I have," says Jack. "A lot. I've been thinking about it for a long time."

Something about that makes Alex's heart skip a beat. "I'd love to move in with you," he says, a little breathless. "God, I fucking love you."

Jack gazes at Alex, deep, earnest brown eyes as sincere as they'd been the first day they'd met. "Alright, gig's up," he says. "I already said you can move in. You can stop the bribe now."

Alex laughs and hides his face in Jack's neck, barely moving his lips to brush a kiss over his collarbone. "No way, babe. I have weeks of not saying it to make up for."

"Weeks, huh?"

"Yeah, weeks."

"Oh, well. That's alright then." Jack's arms are tight around Alex's neck. "I love you. I'd love you more if you made coffee."

"This love can't be conditional," Alex protests.

"It's not conditional! I'm just saying if you made coffee I'd love you even more."

"Choosing to believe you already love me the maximum amount," Alex says airily, "but I will make you coffee anyway, because I'm that nice."

Jack sighs contentedly. "You know, I always think I love you the maximum amount," he says reflectively, "but then every day I fall more in love with you. So I'm starting to think there might not be a limit."

Alex's heart skips another beat. That might become a problem if it continues. "Holy fuck, that's romantic," he says, because it is, and then, fervently, "Me too, by the way."

He feels Jack giggle. "Well, I woke up and the first thing you did was call me beautiful. I'm just trying to keep up at this point."

Alex wonders how he ever existed without Jack, and he sends up a silent prayer to whoever's listening that he never has to again. He shifts, rolling onto his side and pulling Jack with him, because his arms are getting kind of tired, and affords Jack a grin. "I meant it," he promises. "You are. So gorgeous. I wish I could just look at you forever."

"But then how would you watch Doctor Who?"

Alex laughs. "Good point. I take it back. I wish I could look at you forever except for forty-five minutes twice a week."

"That's more like it." Jack moves to cup Alex's face in his hand, and his smile is so soft, so quiet, something only for Alex to see. "I don't think I mentioned, but you're also beautiful, Alex. You're just." He sweeps his thumb over Alex's cheek. "I wish I knew more words, or more languages, or something, so I could figure out how to say what I'm trying to say."

And Alex thinks maybe he understands, because if it's anything like what Alex has been trying to say then he knows already there are no words for it in any language. It's not something that gets said; it's a feeling, or maybe a moment, and it's in the room right now, settling like a blanket over them both. "I know," he whispers, letting his eyes close, letting Jack lean in and kiss him gently, leisurely, like they have all the time in the world, and maybe they do.

(Sometime later, Alex will find his best approximations for what they're both grasping at right now. It'll start with I remember when I woke up the morning you first told me you loved me, my first thought was, "Wow, this man is golden," and it'll end with I do.)

#jack barakat #alex gaskarth #jalex #jalex fic #all time low #atl fic #fic #my fic #tshirt verse #im goign to cfry honestly this is so fucking cute #i keep outwriting my own fluff #jury is honestly out whether this is more fluffy than the malum michael's birthday fic #in other news: i need to be awake in two hours #and i need to record some vocal things!#and then i need to MOVE OUT OF COLLEGE UNTIL SPRING!!!!!!#folks this is not an ideal night to be unable to fall asleep #but at least i made the most of it #fic <3 #i like that i was debating posting jalex tonight #and decided against it #and then wrote different jalex and posted that instead #in fairness the vibes of this are like SUUUUPER different vfrom the vibes of the one i already had written #like they could not be more different i think #im also not even a hundred percent sure this like. is tonally consistent with the first tshirt fic #but i dont . care #its still cute #i say it is so it is. it does #PEOPLE CONTAIN MULTITUDES #think i depserately need sleep #goodnbye

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