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#but I didn't wanna do the same thing again
wh1msic4alwasab1 · 23 hours
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𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫 ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
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synopsis: while gaming with your friends who live in your dorm, someone suggests something a little cynical and humiliating for the loser to do
tags: explicit, vulgar, m@sterbation on cam, 3some, penetration, oral
wrd cnt: 1.2k
a/n: repost/rewrite! (continuation)
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The normal night for you and your friends after a brutual day of calculus was a quick game of whatever the three of you decided that night...and quick was a few hours.
The three of you lived in the same building, but it was more convenient to just game together on call.
Tonight it was rounds and rounds of "poker night 2".
"Can you hurry it up?" Scara says, waiting on Xiao
"You know..unlike you I actually look at my cards" Xiao replies, rolling his eyes in the webcam and smiling when he hears you chuckle.
"All I'm saying is, I didn't win for nothing last round."
"Beginners luck" You say, raising your eyebrows in question of his skill, earning a scoff from Scara.
The game went on for a while, and the three of you had the usual banter and laughter, which made the comments ahead a little... questionable.
"Xiao…...I swear to you if you win this round I'm going to bed and blocking you."
"Wanna bet on it, dick?"
"Of course you're thinking about dick" Scars jokes, in a mockerish tone making you burst out into laughter.
"You think about jerking off more than what's for lunch."
"So that's the bet tonight??" You say, not expecting what Xiao would say next.
"What so loser has to jerk off for the world to see?" Xiao says, the light of the monitor screen reflecting into his eyes in his dark room, as he waits for a joke in response.
"I'm down." You say, hearing Scara slightly sigh out a deep breath before agreeing alone with you.
Suddenly a game of poker had a lot more riding on it than some fake money.
Of course, in ironic fashion Scara is in a loosing streak and cursing loudly at every terrible hand that follows his incredible bluffs.
"I can hear you from the fucking CEILING. Calm down..." Xiao says.
It was down to either you or Xiao, Scara losing considerably already, so at least you saved yourself the embarrassment of losing the bet.
It was your turn at this point, and you decided to go all in; with a straight flush. No way you weren't going to win.
Xiao, in the lead, didn't need to win, he just needed you to lose.
You were confident in your choice....until you saw Scaras cards.
A royal, fucking, flush.
"Fuck" you breathe out. You saw your character icon drop down down to the number "0". Game over for you.
“You don’t have to actually y/n- it was just a joke.” Xiao mentions.
“Fuck off”, you yell, your competitive nature acting before thinking.
You dropped your pants and spread your legs over the arm rests, each leg on either side as you groaned in annoyance at your loss.
"Uh oh...someone's not so happy huh?"
"Shut the hell up..." You say, defeated and salty, so close to winning. "I-I won't let you win again you know...this is just a one time thing" You manage to spit out, deep sighs leaving your body as only your chest and below is left in frame, your fingers visibly rubbing your hard nipples through your tank top as you begin to pinch and rub your clit, before fingering yourself with only your panties to cover your pussy.
"Fuck..." Xiao whispers, barely making its way to your ears as his palm covered the lower half of your face.
"Heh....what a bunch of whores the two of you..." You say, whimpering as the sounds of your slick coating your fingers becomes more and more apparent, your throat pitching higher as you gasp and moan for release, hearing Xiao and Scaras voices get deeper with groans, the sound of them pumping their cocks to the sight of you and your arousal.
Was was meant to be just a joke was your downfall.
Soon after, you see the boxes that would be Scara and Xiaos names and faces turn to black, leaving you feeling guilty and really fucking desperate, did you do something wrong?
You didn't know what would come next, they were your only friends on campus after all.
Minutes that felt like hours passed, and a furious knock returned at the door, almost startling due to how vulnerable you were right now.
"Y/n...it's us." You heard from beyond the wall.
Familiar voices which made you even more nervous as you open the door, Xiao and Scara leaning their bodies against the door frame with animalistic looks plastered upon their countenance, cheeks blushed and eyes set low.
"What's wrong..." You asked, letting them slowly enter your room, dimly lit with just the computer screen illuminating the space that they'd seen just from the other side.
"What do you think?" Scara says, his hand finding your waist as he pushes you aside to close the door now behind you, pressing you against it.
"Tell us this is what you want to…isn't it?" Xiao says, his face so close to yours you're practically sharing the same breathes of air, feeling his warm hand on your side of your neck as he spoke.
It took you 2 good minutes of convincing with a makeout against the door and you were so easily stripped, and layed into bed, and in such vulgar positions.
Scara holding your hips behind him, and Xiao next to your head.
They already knew how they were going to fuck you, Scara, imaging it as he saw how you pleasured yourself; on your hands and knees with your ass in the air would give him a good look of his cock sinking into your tight little hole; the one you were riding on call.
Your hands gripped your own sheets tighter until your knuckles were lightened from how slowly he started to push his thick cock inside of you. Scara groaned, smacking a hand across your ass before reaching his hand down to rub your clit in circles like he watched you do on call.
"You like that? It looked so sexy when you did it for us. Made me so fucking hard..." He'd spout, feeling your cunt clench around him.
"I'm here too you know" Xiao says, his thumb toying with your bottom lip before it parts your mouth open, the tip of his cock allowed itself in as muffled moans from how Scara thrusted into you vibrate around his length, making him groan and throw his head back; pinching and tugging at your perky nipples from under you all the while.
"Fuck..you have suck a nice mouth y/n...."
"Don't get me started on her pussy..." Scara groaned, one hand gripping your hip with the other was wrapped in his hair, keeping it back as he fucked you so deep and full.
"You'll take me next, right y/n?" Xiao cried, his eye brows furrowed as he looks down to see your mouth wrapped around him, wet sounds of your pussy and the drool around his cock making sinful noises in symphony.
"Fuck fuck fuck....can I come inside y/n...please-god it’s too much”.
Scara groans, seconds away from painting your pussy white, looking to Xiao for your confirmation.
You urgently nod, needing to feel his cum inside you.
That's exactly what you got.
With one last thrust Scara held your hips close to his, emptying out his balls into you as Xiao did the same. Cum dripping out of your cunt and more going down your throat, both the men breathlessly grunting, pleasure taken over all three of you.
Maybe losing wasn't so bad after all?
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whimsic4alwasab1 ™ - do not copy, translate, modify, or claim any of my work as your own.
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radioisntdead · 22 hours
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Too sweet
Alastor x gn reader,
Warnings!!
Mild ooc, reader is dessert themed also kinda imagining they have eyes that resemble 1930's animation but that's just me, casual backstory drop in the middle that's just never brought up again, death, pacing is a little off, Alastor is prepared with angelic steel this time! It does not help whatsoever!
Song: Too sweet
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It wasn't a secret that Alastor strongly disliked sweet things, it wasn't a complete hatred but he wouldn't willingly eat any, he preferred bitter things.
It can't be said I'm an early bird
You were as sweet as pure sugar, with that oh so charming smile of yours, your big ol' cartoony eyes, eccentric and positive attitude, not to mention you were quite literally dessert themed, Cake themed outfits, frosted purses, phone case adorned with spackled frosting, sprinkles and charms.
It's ten o'clock before I say a word
You were the most recent addition to the hotel, a few of the hotel's residents didn't quite understand how someone as sweet as you could've ended up in hell, it was theorized that maybe it was an act, a honey coated trap that would lead to the hotel demise or something.
Baby, I can never tell
That was thrown out rather quickly when you kept the same sweetheart persona even when alone, it was just how you were.
How do you sleep so well?
It was concerning to a certain few hotel residents when it was discovered that you had a thing for the Radio demon,
The way your eyes would linger on him for a moment too long, the way you would gaze at him love evident in your eyes.
You keep telling me to live right
Husk gave you a warning one night at the bar, you were sipping on a drink that had more sugar then any drink should, he was cleaning up the bar.
"Look kid, Alastor is a bad decision, this won't end well for you."
"I know." You had responded, twirling around that sickly sweet drink of yours
You weren't naive like your personality seemed to make people think, you knew Alastor was a bad idea, bad news, he was a cannibalistic murderer for heaven's sake!
To go to bed before the daylight
But it was alright to have a small crush that you wouldn't act on, it'd pass eventually but for now it wasn't bad to fantasize about dancing with him, cooking together or about doing something unholy like handholding! Nothing would become of it, you didn't have a good history with relationships anyways.
But then you wake up for the sunrise
Charlie was supportive of your little crush, she had found out about it after accidentally overhearing you drunkenly tell Angel Dust about it, that sugary little drink really did a number on you.
She decided she would try to push you and Alastor together, gently, She was such a great wingman!
After all Alastor tolerated you more than anyone else in the hotel so that's a indication that you might have a chance right? A truly slim one but a chance nonetheless!
You know you don't gotta pretend, baby, now and then
When Alastor began enjoying your company a little too much for his liking it was like he, from his prospective had been thrown into a horror movie and trapped with little to no way out.
He enjoyed some of your antics and reactions.
Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake?
You were helpful around the hotel, helping out with advertising, you'd proofread scripts he had written for his radio broadcast, every time you went out for a treat you brought back some type of pastry or snack for the hotel residents, in particular you'd travel all the way to cannibal town to pick up something for Alastor, you didn't have too, but you did.
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?
As time went on the feelings didn't fade, especially since Charlie heavily suggested that the two of you should work together on hotel related things, and that pinwheeled into the two of you spending more time together, getting closer, and eventually you began to avoid Alastor, you had a tendency to ditch the people you were fond of in a way usually in a cruel fashion, you didn't mean too, truly! But you did and you didn't want to risk it with Alastor for his sake and yours.
If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
You were a known partier back in your day, you died back in the heights of the roaring twenties where you had the money and privileges to go to lavish parties where anyone who was anyone could attend much like the parties Gatsby held in the great Gatsby, you lived what some folks thought the roaring twenties were all about, Flappers, speakeasies, parties and short-lived prosperity.
You were in your twenties, rebellious and reckless, drinking any drink given to you, playing around with people's emotions with those sickly sweet words of yours, taking whatever substance you were given, and a year before the stock market crash, you were found dead on the dancefloor poisoned by a former darling of yours who didn't like that you had left them because things were getting 'too serious' for you.
You didn't handle death well, and in order to keep at least some of your sanity you went to hurling yourself onto the hellish party scene, frequenting speakeasies, trying to keep some sense of what you knew, repeating harmful cycles, but you couldn't do it forever.
And so you gave up the party scene around the mid 40's, burning bridges and leaving behind many scorned people behind.
You were more unstable back then, but you had improved, at least you thought you did taking up the sweet attitude by a couple notches, switching from drinking alcohol each day to drinking sweet smoothies or milkshakes.
You cleaned up your act and you were continuing to keep it clean especially as you checked into the hotel.
No one there knew about your track record and you would like to keep it that way.
But while in this world
The avoidance didn't last long since Alastor cornered you asking why and you blabbered out your feelings in one big ramble.
And that was that.
I think I'll take my whiskey neat
Charlie was ecstatic to learn that you and Alastor had gotten together, Others were concerned particularly Husk, his bets were that either Alastor would end up owning your soul, you'd become just as twisted as Al or you'd end up dead.
None of them would end well for you.
My coffee black and my bed at three
The two of you were opposites, while he took his coffee black and bitter you loaded yours up with milk, sugar and whatever other toppings you wished, when he stayed awake for multiple days in end you snoozed away at night, when he was threatening someone who was messing with the hotel you were trying to defuse the situation with sweet words.
You're too sweet for me
Alastor didn't like sweet things, but he didn't mind you and your sugary sweetness, infact you could say he was growing a little bit of a sweet tooth.
Just the sight of your sweet little smile was enough to cause a slight ache in his heart and that fact that you could be called his now was just wonderful!
You're too sweet for me
He could see himself getting used to all this sweetness, he just needed to make sure no one knew that.
I take my whiskey neat
You smiled, listening intently and sipping on your sweet alcoholic drink while Alastor recounted an encounter he had, a glass of whiskey in his hand whooshing around as he spoke.
My coffee black and my bed at three
It was after a hotel game night mixed with alcohol, the two of you were tired and intoxicated, you were a giggly drunk, laughing at the most mundane things, Alastor was escorting you to your room and much to his surprise it was a challenge as you would stop every few steps to laugh at how the crack in the wall looked like a giraffe or how that stain on the carpet looked like a birthday cake!
You're too sweet for me
By the time he had finally gotten you to your room he was exhausted, you kicked off your shoes leaving them on your floor as you dived into your bed, reveling in the comfortable blankets.
Alastor rolled his eyes as he entered your room leaning down to pick up your discarded shoes to properly put them away in your woredrob, he intended to leave to his own room but you reached out your arms to him making grabby hands, he walked over and leaned in to see what you wanted only for you to suddenly grab him, pulling him down and covering him in the blankets before promptly passing out with your arm wrapped around one of his.
You're too sweet for me
He was going to get up, he truly was but he hadn't slept in hell knows how many days now, and the bed was warm, before he knew it his eyelids were drooped. His shadow thankfully decided to close the door to your room.
I aim low, I aim true and the ground's where I go
The next morning he was greeted by you humming while gently petting his fluffy ears, he wasn't sure you knew he was awake at that point, but he rather liked having his ears petted, at least by you and it wouldn't hurt to savor this moment for just a few more minutes before the two of you would have to deal with the duties that the day held for you.
I work late where I'm free from the phone, and the job gets done
Alastor preferred to have his radio broadcast aired in the morning but sometimes he wouldn't get the chance too, [Maybe he indulged a little too much in his morning time with you]
He would air around eight pm and sometimes you would hang around his tower, doing whatever activity you had brought along until he was done and the two of you would walk back to the hotel, maybe grabbing a bite to eat.
But you worry some, I know
Other nights you would turn on the radio in his room and curl up in a blanket on the leather chair he had, closing your eyes and listening to his oddly soothing voice.
But who wants to live forever, babe?
Alastor didn't particularly believe that heavens gates would accept sinners even if they were redeemed, but nothing is impossible and he, although he doubted it, could be wrong and the Hazbin hotel could be a success in redeeming sinners left and right and you were one of the residents checked in for redemption.
You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate
Alastor moved a piece of your hair away from your face, careful not to disturb your sleeping position on his chair, he could admit to himself that he had gotten attached to you, and he couldn't just have his darling little partner leave him behind to fraternize with the winners above now could he?
The rest of you like you're the TSA
He picked you up from the chair and moved you over to his bed, tucking you in.
If anyone in this damned place could get redeemed it was you.
I wish that I could go along, babe, don't get me wrong
And Alastor, well he wasn't the type to be looking for redemption or redeemed, he was even less of the type to blindly follow someone somewhere even if it was you.
He did wish he could see his mother who obviously was in heaven but that simply just wasn't in the cards for him, it was tragic but he did murder people, he died while burying a body after all!
You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain
Alastor cut into the dead deer he had just sat on his table, he was about to take a bite when he caught a glimpse of you shooting up from his bed looking around in hasty panic before you visibly calmed at the sight of him, with one of your signature surgery sweet smiles that caused swirls in his heart you bid him a good morning.
Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape
Alastor strolled into the hotel after a day of errands, only to see everyone cluttered together looking at something you were holding that he couldn't see, you noticed him and waved him over, grinning as you held the red creature in your arms that looked strikingly like Alastor, you went on a small tangent about how you had found the little guy while taking a stroll around the hotel.
If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait
In all honesty he wanted to hurl the creature out the window but you were stubborn in saying that the two of you should keep the catlike creature immediately dubbing it as your son much to Alastor's displeasure.
Until that day
He and the little creature begun a little rivalry, whenever he had his arm around you that thing would try and headbutt it off.
On the plus side you had taken to dressing the little one up in ridiculous little outfits, usually to match you or Alastor, from dessert themed outfits to Alastor's signature suit.
The creature did not like being dressed the majority of the time as the little thing felt it was taken less seriously thanks to the outfits.
It was right, when the little one would strut around the hotel he was usually awe'd over by Charlie and Sir Pentious.
I'd rather take my whiskey neat
Time flew by as extermination day drew closer, preparing became the focus in the hotel, coating weapons in angelic steel, in particular you had a axe that you covered with dessert themed charms finding it funny, because imagine getting taken out with a dessert themed axe of all things!
My coffee black and my bed at three
You had just barely convinced Alastor to prepare to use an angelic weapon, borderline begging him to do so, you didn't know what you'd do if he got taken out or injured because he was too prideful and foolish to use angelic steel in some way.
You're too sweet for me
He just couldn't say no to you when you looked at him with those cartoonish eyes that reminded him of 1930's animation and surgery sweet smile!
You're too sweet for me
It was the night before extermination, everyone was ready, living this night as if they were going to die tomorrow, which they probably will but they had something to fight for! You indulged on the classic surgery sweet drink that you always got, sipping on it as Niffty declared Alastor king roach leading to you chuckling.
I take my whiskey neat
It was the time where everyone retired, laying in bed you gently brushed a hand through his awful haircut, the two of you chatted about what could happen tomorrow and what the two of you would do afterwards because obviously the two of you didn't intend on dying.
You let out a yawn, deciding to call it a night you gave Alastor a light peck before laying your head on your pillow.
My coffee black and my bed at three
Alastor channeled his inner Edward Cullen and watched you sleep, blanket curled around you, that little creature was snoozing by you, dressed in a onesie that you had obviously put on him.
He didn't say it often, or at all honesty but he adored you, the only sweet thing he would willingly indulge in.
He would do anything to protect you, you would survive the extermination, he would make sure of it.
You're too sweet for me
He, infact did not make sure of it.
It was during his little encounter with Adam, the first man had gone to attack him but you had ran in, taking the hit for Alastor.
Resulting in a large gash in your stomach, blood pooled around you as Alastor got a few hits on Adam before turning to you, clutching your body as shadows overtook the two of you, taking you to his radio tower.
You're too sweet for me
Alastor scrambled, his usual composed self gone as you were actively bleeding out, he tried to stop the bleeding but you had already lost too much.
I take my whiskey neat
He held you as he demanded to know why the hell you would jump Infront of him.
You simply smiled, lifting your hand to touch his face, you said three simple words that would be your last, the last thing you saw was Alastor's strained smile.
My coffee black and my bed at three
Husk was right, it would end one of three ways, either Alastor ended up with your soul, you became just as twisted or you died.
And many died that day, the hazbin hotel lost two of its residents, Sir Pentious and you.
Sir Pentious had died for his friends and you had died for the person you loved, sacrifices that landed the two of you into heaven.
You're too sweet for me
Alastor sat in his newly built radio tower, that damned creature that you had brought by his side.
He had managed to survive the hotel collapsing, good for him, unfortunately the person that brought him there didn't survive, and now he was stuck with Alastor, but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing anymore.
You're too sweet for me
Alastor despised sweet things, they were filled with sickly sweet sugar that would leave cavities behind in it's wake, even after being brushed away it would still leave some damage like you did, you left him like you had left others before only this time it was unwillingly, you were the sweetest thing he'd ever known, he made a unfortunately decision to get attached to you and now he paid the consequences, he would be unintentionally haunted by you, reminded of you every time he saw the portrait they hung of you in the hotel along with Sir Pentious or even with the cat that looked like him.
He wouldn't be making the mistake of falling for someone again that was for sure.
It's not like he could if he wanted to anyways.
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Good evening folks! I hope you enjoyed this! I wrote it all in one day, I didn't write it because I got tired but the reader is totally fighting people to go back to Alastor, just "I JUST DIED AFTER TELLING HIM I LOVED HIM, THAT IS TRAUMATIZING"
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deerlottie · 3 days
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ex gf lottie + statement when you get hurt on the plane, reconciliation, pls?
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warnings: angst, fluff, martinez!reader for plot reasons.... probably shit medical advice idk, not proofread
you wake up to the feeling of being dragged, garbled voices speaking in a rushed manner. as you come to, you can make out lottie's voice in the mix of everyone else's. you're propped against something when you get the energy to open your eyes, and the sight that greets you has you in shock.
everyone's in a panic, and the plane you were just on a minute ago crashed into the ground with bodies surrounding it.
"hey, hey, don't look." lottie, your ex-girlfriend, grabs your chin softly and faces you towards her. she has a couple of scratches on her face and her clothes are covered in soot.
"l-lottie?" you gurgle, spitting up blood. you suddenly feel lightheaded, seeing black dots in your vision as you try to keep yourself awake.
"shit, where are you hurt?" lottie pats you down urgently, her stomach dropping as she touches something sharp lodged in your abdomen. she lifts your shirt up and finds a piece of metal from the plane sticking out of you. it doesn't look too deep, she thinks. maybe she can just pull it out?
"don't," you plead, already knowing what she's planning to do as she grips onto your shoulders. "please, just, keep it—"
you let out a roaring scream as lottie pulls it out, murmuring apologies as she covers your gash with her hands, yelling for misty to come over with the bandages. darkness clouds your vision, and you pass out in lottie's arms.
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you wake up again, but this next time to a fire. you're lying in someone's lap, their fingers tangled in your hair as they play with it. you know who it is in an instant.
"you could've given me a warning, you know." you croak out, voice hoarse.
lottie's sudden jolt makes you groan in pain, clutching your bandaged stomach. she helps you sit up gently, looking at you with a regretful expression. "i know, i just- i wasn't thinking. i was scared and when you passed out i thought you were-"
she stops herself, taking a deep breath. she doesn't wanna think about that. all she cares about is that you're here and alive and breathing next to her. she wouldn't be able to live with herself if you had died like that, especially after what happened between you two just a few days prior to the game that won them the spot to nationals.
you still have bitter feelings about it.
how could she break up with you? you thought she loved you. she broke up with you when you had come to congratulate her in the lockeroom before rushing out, leaving you heartbroken and confused as to why.
how awkward it was when your dad said he was bringing you and your brothers on this trip.
you avoided lottie like the plague in the airport and on the plane, sitting the farthest you could away from her, thankful that she did the same. the last thing you remember is falling asleep on travis' shoulder before you woke up to excruciating pain.
lottie clears her throat, contemplating whether or not it's the right time to tell you. she decides for it, thinking that you deserve to know. "your dad - he, um...he didn't make it. i'm sorry."
you feel bile running up your throat, turning towards her with a blank expression. she immediately goes in to comfort you, rubbing her hand down your back but you push her away, standing up.
"don't touch me." you spit, and her eyebrows furrow. you begin to walk away, not even knowing where but all you know is that you want to get away from here. you clutch onto your stomach as you walk, heavy breaths coming out of your mouth from the discomfort.
"you shouldn't be walking," she yells after you, trying to grab your arm. "please, just, sit down."
"oh, now you care about me?" you flip back around, anger in your eyes. "fuck you, lottie."
"listen - i know you're grieving, but you don't have to be an asshole about it." she immediately knows she said the wrong thing, but she's too upset to care. "stop being so stubborn and sit down. you're gonna make your injury worse."
you scoff and continue walking into the unknown woods, lottie following right behind you. every step you take, you can feel blood gush out, and you collapse onto your knees when you feel a sharp pain in your abdomen.
lottie rushes up to you, leaning you against a tree stump to help you. your shirt is soaked with blood. she's gonna need misty to rebandage you. she starts to get worried as you mumble incoherently, head leaning back as you stare up into the night sky.
"why did you break up with me?" you suddenly ask. her mouth gapes open as you look at her with dazed eyes. "you never told me why."
she scoffs, shaking her head as she helps you up again. she puts your arm around her shoulder as she slowly walks with you back to the camp.
"i could die from this, you know." you mumble, egging her on a bit. "you're just gonna let me die without knowing why?"
lottie rolls her eyes at your attempt at humor, huffing out before admitting why. "it was my parent's idea. they thought i wasn't focused enough on nationals and said i should break up with you. i didn't want to but you know me and my mommy issues."
"so, i tried to ignore you and push down my feelings but it just made it worse. i was gonna talk to you about it before we left at the airport, but you wanted nothing to do with me." she continues, glancing at you.
you slow down, signaling for lottie to stop walking. "i thought you were ignoring me. i thought you hated my guts."
"i could never hate you," she tentatively brings a hand up to your shoulder, which travels to cup your cheek. "i love you. always. i should've just talked to you about it instead of running away."
"that's right, you big idiot." you pull her in for a kiss, a kiss that you've missed for those oh, so lonesome 7 days. she sighs into your mouth, tangling her hands in your hair to bring you in deeper. you groan as pain stabs you in the stomach again, resting your head against her shoulder as she starts walking again.
"you owe me a lot of make up kisses, by the way."
lottie taglist: @nebuloustraveller @ethvrealz @jadeisnothere5
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renranram · 2 days
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schlatt x reader japan trip 🙏🙏
Japan
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sfw + fluff
introvert female reader joining schlatt for a trip in japan :3
schlatt's and your relationship have been pretty lowkey ever since it started, especially coming from a huge content creator like him some of his fans can sometimes be too overbearing
and to avoid that, the two of you to agreed to keep it lowkey, you weren't really a huge fan of travelling, you being a huge introvert and would pray and manifest that all your events would be cancelled or give you an excuse to not attend them
so it surprised schlatt that you actually agreed to go with him to japan, even agreeing to be in his and jack’s vlog, but introducing yourself as his close friend
so there you guys are, entering a cat shop, jack vlogging the entire thing for memorabilia and content as you follow behind schlatt, smiling in awe with the tons of cats inside
schlatt himself would of course glance at you from time to time, hoping you're enjoying and comfortable throughout the whole trip, “ yo, y/n, what do you think about these little fellas trapped inside of those? “ he asks
“ poor creatures “ you respond smiling at him as jack approaches the tiny kitten aiming his camera in the poor thing's face, “ jack, he looks like he's scared of you “ schlatt jokes as you giggle
“ schlatt look, he looks like you “ you point into a black, kind of chubby cat who's meowing at you, “ oh god it is! “ jack chimes in as schlatt smiles at you, before glaring at jack, “ really? this one looks exactly like you “ schlatt mocks jack by pointing on a sphinx as the man puts an unimpressed face as you chucke at their banter
“ .. i actually like the bald one “ you smile, fixing your glasses as jack cheers, “ see! even your bestfriend agrees im a good-looking cat “ jack spoke with his british accent, smug
“ i am so disappointed “ schlatt comments, shaking his head, being overdramatic as you can only smile and look at your boyfriend in admiration
the whole trip went well, and there was only a day left before going back to texas again, so, the two of you spent it together, alone and intimate as you visit a deer park, no cameras, no vlogging, no nothing more just two of you, enjoying your last day in tokyo
the two of you held hands as you chuckle, feeding a deer it's food as you smile, watching the deer bow, “ he's a polite fella isn't he? “ schlatt smiles, at you and the deer
“ he's very very polite “ you chuckle, “ very cute too “ you add, “ you two are very cute in my opinion “ he shrugs
“ cheesy fuck “ you reply, as he pecks your cheek, fixing your hair, as you gasp, “ look at that one! it has antlers “ you exclaim, pointing at a larger deer with one antler
“ do you think he's polite too? “ you ask, “ i bet he'll bow down in a 90 degree angle “ he replies as you break the food in half, handing the half to schlatt so he can also feed it,” what if we feed him at the same time and he chooses his favorite “ you challenge him
“ he's gonna choose the handsome one “ schlatt replies as you roll your eyes playfully as the two of you offers the food at the same time as the lather large deer bows, before choosing schlatt's
“ aha! see “ schlatt exclaims as you chuckle, the deer now feeding onto your offered food, “ so smug “ you comment, pecking your cheek
“ it's kinda hot “ you comment, smiling, as he didn't hesitate to remove his cap, putting it on you, “ should we go back to the hotel then? “
“ but it's like.. way too earlyy “ you reply as you sigh, before gasping, “ can we uhm…go to arcades and uh.. ive heard they have silly photo booths “ you suggest
and after hearing those, he spoiled you , going to the arcades and photo booths you wanted, as the two of you sat at the balcony of your hotel room, your head on his shoulder as you held hands
“ can't believe it ended so fast “ you sip on some random drink you two got from a convenient store on the way back, “ mhm, i wanna stay here with you longer “ schlatt caresses you hair
“ you know.. i was kinda surprised you actually came with us “ schlatt mentioned as you hums, “ really? “
“ yeah.. i thought we'd have to vc eachother again during the entire trip “ he added as you chuckle, “ i don't know.. it's just.. i wanna atleast spend some moments with you “ you answer
“ well… im glad you came, im just.. so fucking happy “ he cups you by your cheek, pecking your nose, “ im glad i chose the right decision then “ you smile
“ jay… i want to promise something “ you mumble as schlatt nods, shifting on your seat, “ yeah? “ he asks
“ … i wanna uhm.. try new stuffs with you and uhm… travel with you, and do cool things “ you smile, “ i wanna… get out of my shell.. so i can be with you “
“ y/n you know you dont have to force yourself just so you can be with me “ schlatt replies, caressing your face as you shake your head, “ no no, im doing this for myself too “ you fix your sleeves as you face him
“ i promise “ you reassure him as he chuckles, “ so fucking proud if you toots “ he ruffles your hair, “ im glad you're trying out new stuffs “
“ … wanna make japan more memorable? “ he pecks your neck, and you immediately knew what he meant as you nod, smiling, lifting you up without a challenge, entering the back to the room as he trace kisses around your face
-
@.schlatt4layf • 11 hours ago
my friend from japan just spotted schlatt with a girl?????
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↳ 9826 ⇆ 7923 ♡ 11228
oh what the fuck??
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oneofstarkskids · 3 days
Text
vulnerable
emo!wanda maximoff x reader
fluff
inspired by me sobbing over ttpd fr
summary: reader is listening to music and wanda wants to know what all the fuss is about
*not my gif*
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wanda was trying to mind her own business, but as she walked past your room she heard a light sniffle.
not too loud, but just audible enough for her to become concerned. she stopped in her tracks and pressed her ear up against your door.
there it was again. the softest of shuttering sighs. wanda decided to knock. she called your name, a hint of worry evident in her tone.
you carefully opened the door. your tears had clearly been hurriedly wiped away and your eyelashes stuck together in places.
"yes?" you asked as you desperately hoped she couldn't hear your voice shaking.
wanda looked into your eyes for a moment, not knowing what to say or do. she hadn't planned this far ahead. "uh- are you alright?"
you let out an embarrassed chuckle, "yeah i'm fine."
wanda's brows knit together, "but you were crying."
you held up one of your airpods, "it was just this song i was listening to."
wanda tilted her head slightly in confusion. she'd never cried over a song before and she couldn't imagine how something as simple as music could make you feel this way.
when she didn't move, you assumed there was only one thing left to do, "do you wanna listen?"
wanda didn't know what exactly you were listening to, but she didn't care. she was always up to spend time with you. she nodded and let her expression soften a bit.
you handed the airpod to her and shut the door behind her as she made her way into your bedroom. you quickly swiped your phone out of your pocket, laid down on your bed, and hit unpause.
wanda tucked her hair behind her ear and listened to the music attentively. as she began to process the words, she turned to look at you. she pulled the device away from her ear, "why do you listen to this?"
"what do you mean?" you asked, slightly offended.
"it's so sad," wanda deadpanned.
you nodded slowly, "well...i guess it just kind of speaks to me in a way. does that make sense? like- i can't always find the words to describe how i feel, so these songs say it for me. it feels like someone seeing the most vulnerable part of your soul and validating your every thought."
you didn't even notice wanda was grinning until you were done talking. "what?" you laughed.
wanda caught her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head, "nothing."
you searched her face for a moment, trying to find answers, but you got nothing. so you decided to just close your eyes and feel the music.
a couple of minutes passed by and you felt wanda's soft fingers intertwine with your own. you were surprised and almost opened your eyes, but you were afraid it would ruin the moment and she'd pull her hand away.
instead, you just held on tightly to her as if you may never touch her again. and with her laying so close to you, and the sweetest melody ringing in your ears, you hoped and prayed that someday she might feel the same way you did.
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watchyourbuck · 8 hours
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the second they made buck bi i watched the whole show for the first time, took a week, finished just before the latest episode came out. this obviously means i do not know my first thing about anything, most theories and fanon storylines included. what is the most important stuff that i need to know? the more deranged and delusional the better 🌸
lmao gotta love this ask. okay nonny let’s see.
the couch theory: right after Buck breaks up with Taylor, Eddie and Chris have dinner at his loft. they make fun of the fact that Buck doesn’t have a couch, and he says “my last two couches came with girlfriends — maybe I don’t wanna pick the wrong couch again.” we strongly believe the right couch is Eddie, and the scene itself is pretty, uh… hinting. I made a post about it.
the color theory: this theory stems from the fact that most of us believe the colors they are dressed in or are illuminated by (etc) aren't a coincidence, as in, we think different colors mean different things pertaining to their story and feelings. pls see our preacher on this subject @lover-of-mine <3 her posts are amazing
dad!buck: its a commonly accepted truth that Buck is not Chris’ uncle, but his dad. there’s not a lot of explaining to do, other than the man just loves Chris as his own, and clearly Eddie thinks the same, considering he added him to his WILL (insane behavior if u ask me).
shooting/lightening as direct parallels: Eddie getting shot and Buck getting struck by lightning are the two highlights of their individual and intertwined tragedies. there’s obviously other moments where they fear they may lose each other but these two are the biggest, most gut-wrenching ones. (these are their strings of fate, remember they both had to pull the other to safety).
buddie tends to parallel to every canon couple on the show: I’d have to pull up many receipts but, if you watch closely, you’ll see them. Bathena and Buddie both have water trauma, for example (tsunami vs capsized cruise ship), plus other more lighthearted ones like the Madney karaoke + the bachelor party Buddie karaoke scenes (7x06).
Edmundo Díaz is demisexual: and most likely gay. idk i didn't feel too comfy with the hyper-sexualization of Eddie on 7x05. but it’s more than that, obvi. that man was seen sleeping with Shannon, then with no one until Marisol, and i kinda believe Eddie getting out of the house to not have sex with her bc he felt distanced from her tells us a lot about him. he seems to only be able to engage in sexual activity should he feel something for that person.
I didn’t mean for all of these to be buddie coded, but alas, I’ve watched the show through their looking glass, and these are the theories that I’ve engaged with the most. for anyone reading, feel free to add more!💗
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zero-ek · 12 hours
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As soon as Yuu was released the first thing i did was to listen to her voice lines, not only because of who is voicing her (the Sailor Moon!!) but because i was very curious as to what sort of dimension her voice would add to her character.
And it's particularly interesting the way that her voice sells how... empty she is, like not only in that losing her memories destroyed her sense of self and her morality (like i had initially expected), but in that she doesn't seem to have a firm grasp of anything beyond the ideas of "Yuu", Shii, the list, Magical Girls and Witches. Like, it's like she doesn't even know what being a human even is.
That much is obvious just in the way she speaks, like she keeps switching back and forth between multiple voices and running over her own words, like she speaks out of muscle memory and can't control the sounds that her mouth makes. But also, some of the stuff she says is... concerning, here's a few lines:
(I got these from her F*ndom quotes page i didn't know where else to find them)
"We're together today too... is that the same as yesterday? Does that mean tomorrow's gonna be the same!? And two days ago too? I guess after tomorrow too... wait so even today too!?"
From her first login, notice how by the end of the sentence she forgot about whay she said at the start completely. Also it's hard to convey through written text but, not only her sense of object and spacial permanence is nonexistent, she seems to genuinely have a hard time undertanding the concept of time:
"Did you just say good morning? Oh that must mean it's morning nowiseewaitdid i... did i sleep? I'm bummed... no i'm not, aha! Morning!"
Her morning login.
"Did you just tell me good night...? 'Good night' is what you say when you're done for the day!? So if we keep repeating 'good night' forever, can we stop tomorrow from coming...?"
Her night login
A couple of her lines showing her extremely short memory, and how it affects her fundamental understanding of things:
"Man, i'm so hungry... WAIT! I think i was just full...! Which was it! Doesn't it really suck how you can never tell what's inside of your tummy?"
Noon login.
"Sorry! I...! What was i thinking about? Do you know? Can you tell me? What a bummer, what a bummer... Wait, what was i bummed about?"
Her standard login (honestly same).
"I gotta get goinghmm...? Where was i going again?"
Story end 3
"If your arms or your legs get really old, then why not just rip 'em off? It's gonna grow new ones so it's okay, here, lemme help you!"
Tap 4.
"Nagisa-chan loves cheese, meanwhile i have 'someone'... 'someone' is me! So don't forget about cheese and 'someone' even when tomorrow comes, alright?"
Magical release 1
"Y'see, ghosts only come from the past, they don't be coming from the future! So why... can i only go to tomorrow?"
Magical release 2
Also this one is just, man...
"No matter how many times time turns back, i'll keep doing the same thing! 'Cause i don't wanna pretend that all the times i messed up and all the times i was sad weren't real!"
Tap 8
It's also extremely unnerving how genuinely childlike and innocent her "main", higher pitched voice is, like i can't explain why but it really sells that she does what she does all because she genuinely doesn't know any other way to live, not least because it seems she wholeheartedly doesn't seem to be able to think beyond the current moment, like she just goes with the flow of time without having anything to ground herself on.
I think that, while having a fully fledged design added to her "inhuman" factor in a creepy manner, like, compounding to the idea of this beastly Magical Girl that rips people's organs off, her voice made her "inhuman" in a much crueler and sad way, in that it served to illustrate that she is the way she is because it's quite literally the only way of living that she knows.
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acatnamedkitten · 1 day
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Too Many Beds-RadioHusk
Drabble(700w)-Reverse trope writing prompts
They took shelter in a mattress store. This year's extermination had come earlier in the day than normal and caught the pair out and about.
Because, of course, Alastor had waited until the last fucking second to decide he needed a new cable for his transmitting board.
"Of course, it can't wait, Husker. What if the shop is destroyed? What if the owners are killed? What if those lousy picture boxes start reporting the damages before I do?"
And Satan forbid he go by himself.
Husk sighed and flopped down on a mattress. The owners must have gone out of town for the extermination, but at least they'd boarded up the shop beforehand.
With the lights off and the incredibly soft bed, Husk figured it was as good a time as any to take a nap. It wasn't like Alastor could get them out of there.
Using his magic now would only alert the Angels to their presence. So, Alastor laid down a few mattresses away, meditating to lower his magical expenditure.
🎙️🪽🦌🐈‍⬛🦌🐈‍⬛🦌🐈‍⬛🪽🎙️
At some point, there was an almighty crash just outside the shop. Husk startled awake, just barely managing to stifle his yowl of alarm.
With his heart trying to beat out of his chest, Husk sat frozen, waiting for something else to happen. But nothing ever did. There wasn't even the sound of fighting out on the street.
Sighing, Husk got up in search of a bathroom. By the time he'd stumbled back to the sales floor, he was already half asleep again. Eyes closed, he shuffled over to where he'd been laying. Not really caring if it was the same bed or not, Husk flopped down and promptly fell back asleep.
🎙️🪽🦌🐈‍⬛🦌🐈‍⬛🦌🐈‍⬛🪽🎙️
"Husker"
"~Husker~"
Husk grumbled. Laying on his stomach, wings spread, he wrapped his arms further underneath his pillow and nuzzled into it. He was too cozy for whatever it was Alastor wanted.
"Husker, wake ~uuup~"
Husk flexed and shifted, gripping his pillow tighter, lest Alastor pull it away like he so often did. "No."
Even with his face all but hidden, Alastor still managed to boop his nose. "Yes!"
"Don't wanna," He mumbled, turning his face the other way.
His bed was so soft, and his wings felt so nice all spread out, and he was all warm and cozy, and his pillow smelled so good. It was like coffee and rain and old pennies and...
Husk froze.
Alastor.
His pillow smelled like Alastor.
Alastor was laying on the bed with him, one leg on either side of Husk's torso.
He had his head on Alastor's stomach; his arms were around Alastor's waist.
He was using Alastor as a pillow.
HOW???
He'd been a few mattresses away when... he'd...
Oh shit.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Suddenly, Alastor's hands found his ears. Husk, taunt as a bow string and ready to fly, flinched at the initial contact.
But Alastor didn't pull his ears. Or flick them. Or pinch them. Or any of the other things he usually did to piss Husk off.
No. This time... This time his clawed fingertips were gentle. They scratched around the base of his ears, trailing back and forth.
"Now, now. No need to get all riled up. You were just having a dream is all, and I know how much you hate those."
Alastor trailed scritches down between Husk's eyes, then up and over to the base of his skull. Despite how tense he was, Husk couldn't help but melt under the gentle ministrations.
Before he could think about it, Husk found himself letting out a content sigh and leaning into Alastor's touch.
Objectively, Husk knew that Alastor was capable of softness and affection. He saw the demon interact with Rosie and Niffty, after all. But never before had Husk been on the receiving end of Alastor's gentler touches.
"That's it. Just relax."
With the sense of imminent danger gone, Husk's fatigue came back in full force.
Fuck it. He thought. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, right? At least he isn't biting my head off for laying on him.
If Alastor randomly waking him up—claiming Husk was dreaming—was payback for falling asleep on the guy, Husk could live with that. He did make a really good pillow, after all.
But Husk didn't dream. He hadn't dreamed since before the war; he only ever had—
...Had...
...Had Alastor woken him up from a nightmare?
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cry-ptidd · 2 days
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I know Laura shares the same kind of depression that Alucard does but I wanna ask; is she also like Alucard in the sense that she is waiting/hoping a worthy human will come and kill her or ???
No. That's her thing. She has no goals.
She's a ghost walking, a stray dog, she has no idea what she's doing and why, which is why she indulges in meat and alcohol and sex - she's bored and tired. Which is also partially why she allows Integra to have power over her (aside from her refusing to be killed by Alucard otherwise); it's refreshing to have something to do for once, to tell herself "oh, I have this to do tomorrow. I'll live until then." instead of eating off the ground then sleeping it off.
Alucard always had something dictating that he be great; in his life, he was a ruler, then he became the strongest of vampires through one of the rarest means possible. He always wanted power and even if he had to claw his way up, he was still all about strength and dominance and victory.
Laura was just some peasant girl unlucky enough to be bitten by some random werewolf on a random day.
The only reason she's so strong and has survived for so long without any want to be alive is because she's stubborn. She already started that whole 2 year rampage out of sheer blind fury and revenge, and she didn't have any plans at all, in any way. She's way too stubborn to die and makes impulsive decisions and deep down she wishes she let herself die when Jean shot her that 19th of June, 1767. But she didn't, and maybe that was her punishment.
I think how her story would end is that she needs someone to calm her down, to tame her temper, to pat her head just enough for her to accept a vulnerability she can give someone again and let herself be killed. She's too far gone in her eyes, and just really, really tired.
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yuurivoice · 9 hours
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A lot of creatives have a point where they have that sorta "Nobody's gonna wanna see this/nobody will care" feeling about their work.
I was wondering if you've ever struggled with that sort of feeling, be it about your audio content or even just other creative projects? If so, how did you end up overcoming it in the end? Do you ever feel that way these days?
Only if you wanna answer ^^
Oh plenty of times! Whether it's due to imposter syndrome, or just a general numbers slump, or something you worked really hard on just not doing as well as you wanted it to...plenty of ways to end up with that sorta hopeless feeling.
This is one of the times where it truly matters why you started doing the thing in the first place, when your intentions get checked. That big ass filter will hit you eventually. Are you here because you wanna create, or because you want number go up? Would you be doing this even if there was no compensation, or are you tapping out the moment you aren't profitable?
So you take a deep breath, feel bad for a little bit, then take a look inwards. What could you do better? What can you change or do in addition to your current approach? What are others doing that's working, and why isn't it working for you?
Sometimes auditing yourself to see what's not working can be rough. Looking at your peers might press on your insecurities. But if you actually want to improve in terms of reach and growth, you can't just piss and moan about algorithms, or how other people are successful, or any of that.
You can always improve in some way or another, and there are always alternative paths to success. Whatever that might look like for you!
When Finn's content was first coming out he didn't do super great. He was cute but he wasn't doing numbers. It bummed me out and soured me on pushing him real hard at the time. Years later, his compilation with many of the same videos I didn't love ended up being my first video over a million views.
There is ALWAYS a way to make shit work. It might not be right when you expected it to be, but it can surprise you if you keep hustling.
A lot of the recent changes I made with thumbnails and other stuff came about because I was frustrated in this exact way. 7 years into it and I was still looking for ways to get better and kick more ass. It'll happen again and again because I'm here for this shit and it's not just a job, it was a hobby that I fell in love with and take pride in. I like getting better, whether it's in the business side or if it's my writing and acting.
But I've never immediately spring back from that initial feeling of frustration. I'll mope and feel bad and get frustrated and upset.
Then it's over, and I get back in the saddle.
So keep on trying, keep on creating, and try to find the joy in it all!
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kalcifers-blog · 3 days
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I have a thought and I physically need to talk about it BC I think the JSE Fandom as a whole does not talk about it nearly enough.
BEFORE WE GET STARTED!!! Content Warnings :
Discussions on mental illness, alcoholism / alcohol withdrawal, mentions of potential suicidal behaviour!!!!!
CHASE BRODY IS NOT AN IDIOT.
I feel like Chase gets mischaracterised as being a bit of a himbo at best and just straight up stupid at worst.
For the record I generally dislike the way that happens? Like there's already a big stigma around addiction, I'm actually very impressed with how Chase Brody is such a sympathetic character with his addiction being an aspect of that. I love how it shines a new light on this very real and scary issue that doesn't villainise Chase at all for his condition.
But this is exactly why I feel it's so important that people understand that Chase also isn't an idiot.
Genuinely speaking there are so many examples of Chase being someone who is an extremely smart individual and I think a lot of that gets overshadowed by the fact that he's an alcoholic and depressed.
EXAMPLES BEING:
He is immediately asking questions the moment he's in IRIS.
He's constantly making it known exactly how he feels about his predicament but at the same time he understands that at certain points (especially when he doesn't have a clear view on IRIS and what they're up too) he needs to go along with things and keep civil to not put himself in potential danger
He calls out the way IRIS puts him through shit and how fucking weird that is of them to do
The moment he sees a shimmer of hope (in the form of Echo) he immediately tries to comfort them and tries to help them and attempts to make a plan to leave IRIS
When IRIS attempts to relocate Chase he immediately calls out that they're lying to him, that something has happened
He can spot people being manipulative from a mile away and is very quick to shoot it down as soon as he can by making it known he knows exactly what they're doing.
I would also like to mention that all this is happening while Chase is very likely going through major alcohol withdrawal issues- the symptoms of which include: tremor, craving for alcohol, insomnia, vivid dreams, anxiety, hypervigilance, agitation, irritability, loss of appetite (i.e., anorexia), nausea, vomiting, headache, and sweating.
Chase is quite literally going through it, like every severely going through it and the entire time he is he's surprisingly got more of a level head than most people probably would in his situation. And he's doing all of this while probably going through some intensely bad withdrawal symptoms as well as all the mental shit Anti is putting him through every moment he can.
All things considered Chase is insanely capable of being able to keep fighting even through some of the hardest things a person could go through.
Chase Brody is not an idiot, he's not useless and he's certainly not weak. If Chase can go through all the things he has and he's still fighting tooth and nail to survive even tho he previously was shown to be someone who was very clearly suicidal? I just think it says so much about his character that at Chase's core he's smart and strong- in ways a lot of people wouldn't appreciate nearly half as much if they didn't physically see the things he was being put through continuously for potentially years at this point.
And again I wanna keep in mind that all of this is going on while Chase is quite literally at rock bottom, like we have only seen Chase while he's at his worst. The fact that he is so smart while he's at his worst only makes me wonder just how capable he has the potential of being once he gets the right help he needs and deserves.
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kittyandco · 2 months
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
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quickhacked · 4 months
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Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays
#cp2077#edit:mikhail#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing#whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier#you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly#but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined#they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again#and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you#and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain#sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!!#they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day#and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest#night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big#and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like#how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole#anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out
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keeps-ache · 6 hours
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wink blink look !!
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minthara · 2 months
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i feel soooo much better today already lmfao and also had a date with i think the best dating app victim i've had all my life lol
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dykeinthedark · 6 days
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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)
#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me#like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes#and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style#like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting#like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to#which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own#it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch#but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way#what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian#like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me#i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively#people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation#but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc#(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either#bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme#idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance#even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do#that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes#like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16#because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem
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