#but I don’t even know what id do for them ?

[strwberri-milk]

Midnight Blues

Rafayel x Reader || Mild Insomnia, Comfort || 1 184 words

a/n: my toxic trait is pretending im a singer and compiling songs into albums and naming them and midnight blue is the name of the hypothetical album that encapsulates falling in love with rafayel and i guess i could make a playlist bc thats the normal thing to do but i just name fanficitions after them ig. also this is based off his treasure secret time - idgaf about the mensturation i only care about the fact that hums your ass to rest and the lore drop that is rafayel calling you at night when the two of you first start met bc it would help you sleep

You can hardly remember what nights were like before without the sound of his voice in your ears.

You sigh as you sink into your bed, staring up at the ceiling after doing another quick lap around the house to try and tire yourself out. Your body is tired, you know it is. You just wish that you could sleep, not at all excited about the prospect of having to go to work tomorrow after being unable to sleep all night.

You’re about to start your nightly routine of tossing and turning when your phone suddenly starts to ring. A smile makes its way onto your face as you recognise the caller ID, putting your phone against your ear and humming lightly to alert the other side to your presence.

“You’re still awake, huh?” Rafayel’s teasing tone asks through the phone. The two haven’t known each other long but that didn’t seem to bother Rafayel in the slightest.

“Yeah,” you sigh, putting your phone on speaker next to you on the pillow.

All it took was falling asleep one time in a conversation with him for Rafayel to pounce on that and decide to take advantage of it. You swore up and down that it was a mistake, that it wasn’t because of Rafayel that you fell asleep but deep down you know that something about that silky smooth timbre of his voice made your worries go away. You’d never slept so soundly, mortified at the teasing text that he sent you when you read it in the morning.

However, you had to admit defeat and let the man do whatever he wanted. Even before you met him it was clear that Rafayel didn’t care much for whatever the people around him want. He does as he pleases and now, it seems that he’s convinced you won’t sleep without him talking to you.

“If you wanted me to call you all you had to do was ask,” he says after a while, letting you get settled in bed.

“I’m grown. I can take care of myself,” you reply, Rafayel imagining a slight pout on your features as you did so.

“Ah, I see. So you don’t need me to talk you to sleep then? I’ll hang up then.”

“Wait!” you shout quickly, shooting out of bed and grabbing your phone.

“Don’t…don’t go. Please?”

“Begging now? I guess if you’re that desperate for my company I’ll give it to you.”

You can hear how smug he is, rolling your eyes at how obvious his tells are. You wonder how Thomas hasn’t figured him out yet – Rafayel isn’t nearly as sneaky as he seems to think he is.

“Are you driving?” you ask after a second, settled back into bed again and listening carefully to his end of the call.

“I’m heading back from an exhibition. I could have booked a hotel but I didn’t feel like staying the night there so I’m making the long drive home. I called you to see if you’d keep me company.”

You tug your blankets around yourself, losing yourself in their warmth as you yawn. The exhaustion begins to sit on your shoulders again but this time, it feels more manageable. His voice swims around your head as he starts rambling about the exhibition. You’re glad to hear that it went off without a hitch, having declined his invitation yourself due to a more urgent task of the day.

“Are you even listening to me?” he asks, bringing your attention back to him.

“Hmm? Yeah, sellers bullying you, people hitting on you, same old same old,” you mumble, burying yourself further into your bed.

“If you didn’t like it that much, why didn’t you just make something up to get out of it?”

“I couldn’t bail on Thomas again. I felt bad for him constantly fielding off journalists and this show was supposedly a big deal so I decided to do him a favour. Plus, I blew off all the shows so far this month so I might as well make myself seen at a more important one.”

Leave it to Rafayel to make doing his job seem like a favour to someone else. Even if he acts like he’s got his head in the clouds you know he’s genuinely kind – if you’ve got the patience to go digging through the layers that make up the enigmatic artist. You feel thankful that the world brought you to him, even if you weren’t sure what the budding feeling in your chest is.

“You had a long day, huh? I can hear it in your voice.”

You give him another hum, not wanting to bother with any words.

“Even if I ask you a question you don’t need to reply. It’s getting late and I won’t be home for at least another hour. I really did just want your company you know. I’m glad that you answered my call. It would have been miserable if I had to drive home all alone.”

It doesn’t take Rafayel much time to start rambling at you again. You don’t know how he manages to find anything and everything to say to you and keep himself entertained, laughing at his own jokes and taking the soft noises you make as jumping off points to completely go on a new tangent.

When he hears your light snores and steady breathing, he smiles to himself. The sound of your breath surrounds him in his car and if he weren’t such a responsible driver, he’d close his eyes just to pretend that he’s laying in bed with you.

Normally, Rafayel was perfectly content driving home in silence, finding the long expanse of road the perfect opportunity to ground himself after all of the cameras and people in his face. Honestly, he only left when he did to make sure he’d be able to call you at the same time he did every night. Your inability to sleep well worried him and even if you didn’t fully understand the extent of his feelings towards you, he wouldn’t let that get in the way of taking care of you. You make him happy after all, especially when he hears you try to rouse yourself from sleep in a desperate attempt to show him that you’re listening to him. The mental image of your sleepy eyes trying to focus on his face makes his heart melt, impatiently tapping his finger against the steering wheel at the annoyance of being unable to call you his just quite yet.

Even when he gets home, he doesn’t hang up on you. He’s careful to do his nightly routine quietly, using the sound of your breathing as his favourite symphony and he settles down for the night himself. He even continues to speak to you softly, wanting to make sure that his voice lulls you into a truly restful slumber. He thinks about you a lot and being able to help you in any form always makes his heart feel so full.

He won’t admit that talking to you on these late nights makes him sleep well too, putting his phone on the pillow beside him before falling asleep to thoughts of you.

#love and deepspace x reader #rafayel x reader #lads x reader #lads rafayel #lads rafayel x reader #lnd rafayel

[crimzoncrow]

#vent #this felt really stupid the make #but i wanted to say it somewhere #and this felt like the only place i really could lol #‘i might be aromantic’ motherfucker when she gets into another romantic relationship #i just feel really awful and idk what to do bc it hasn’t even been 24 hours and they really are happy and i like seeing them happy and being #the reason for it #so sorry gang you get the dumb little vent comic #crow talks #if anyone has any words to say about this . id like super appreciate it #idk i just don’t know what im doing lol

[skoulsons]

im choosing ignorance for right now but will cover it at the end of this (this being a whole essay 💀)

So, it looks like Baylan has a green kyber crystal in his belt. This post and others have pointed it out

Obviously, this begs the question of whom did it belong to? Immediately the thought would be Baylan’s. He was a padawan of the Jedi Order, trained into knighthood, and eventually a general during the Clone Wars. He created his own lightsaber hilt and (maybe, idrk exactly how it works forgive me) chose his own crystal. And, even if he didn’t, it was still a part of who he was for that portion of his early life.

We learned last episode he misses the idea of the Order. With Baylan, there’s a heavy amount of sentimentality associated with the Jedi, especially if we believe (which I do wholeheartedly) that he lost a padawan.

But that’s what begs the other question—is the crystal from his padawan? Did he take it from his padawans lightsaber and keep it for himself to carry on the memory of that kid (who i like to think was a female but that’s the girldad lover in me speaking)? Was it motivated by grief? Has he allowed himself to grieve at all, and if not, was taking the crystal his way of avoiding that emotion?

Or was it motivated by grief? There is no emotion, only peace. Is that when he ditched the code? How could he have any sort of peace after losing his padawan? Or, did he find that peace in keeping the crystal?

But then there’s my other question—what’s the significance of it? Dave Filoni, from what I’ve seen, is intentional. I don’t think adding what looks like a green kyber crystal in Baylan’s belt is just some sort of happenstance that didn’t have any thought behind it.

And, with Baylan’s character, it’s way too significant. When it comes to how he feels about the Jedi, how he seems to actually feel a little bad about having to kill Ahsoka in episode 2. His relationship with Shin. The padawan braid. It all screams significance to me.

So, when it comes to significance, what role is it going to play by the end of the show? I really cannot see it being included and making Baylan’s character so nuanced and intriguing and then not doing anything with it.

Mundi and I were talking about this earlier today. I mentioned these main two points, but also this-

And then Mundi had to drive the stake further through my heart and twist it around by basically saying what if Baylan’s dying act was giving Shin his crystal (still thinking about this mundi THANKS)

I said a stretch at first, but it doesn’t seem too far-fetched anymore (except for her becoming fully good). Now, I don’t want Baylan to die. He’s the last character I want to die and I love him, BUT…

How he dies? I have no idea. Thrawn, Morgan, Enoch? Ahsoka, Sabine, Ezra? Betrayed by Shin? (very doubtful i feel) I think there’s a lot of options of how it could happen, if the cards are played right.

So if we think that’s the case, Shin is around when he dies or mortally wounded. Maybe she sees it happen to him like how he saw it happen to his last padawan. Shin is distraught, the most emotion we see from her because, well, it’s Baylan who’s trained her and borderline raised her, and they have a moment together before he passes. Baylan makes her take the crystal (which would hit a lot harder if it is his original one and did not belong to his padawan) and they have some sappy goodbye that’ll have me crying for six weeks.

We’ve also all talked about how Shin and subtext from some of her lines that indicates some sort of… longing or curiosity regarding the Jedi. If, within the last two episodes, those are confirmed or it’s revealed that Baylan could sense that feeling in Shin, i think (assuming he does die in this way) giving her his crystal makes sense.

Maybe she keeps it as sentimental in her own belt as I don’t see her turning fully to the Light in the show. But, if there’s another season, who knows.

Going back four paragraphs, I believe if it were Thrawn or Morgan who killed him or orchestrated his death, Shin would not follow them back. She’d go with Ahsoka and the Gang TM home in the purrgil mouths. She clearly hates Peridea and, if Ahsoka and the crew are there to witness Baylan’s death (for whatever reason), they could have sympathy on Shin maybe and help her home.

OK. I hope that covered those thoughts in a somewhat coherent fashion. Here’s where that chosen ignorance comes in.

Shin’s braid. An anon actually sent a link to a tweet with both this AND the Baylan one in one post, so thank you nonnie for that!

Anyway. Shin’s braid. Three (four?) green kyber crystals.

Why.

Did they, for some reason, come from Baylan? Did he just have a cluster of them and he gave her a few to include in her braid?

If the braid was her idea, did she want them included in it? Did they still come from Baylan if that’s true? Did she want to feel that connected to the Jedi from the start of her apprenticeship with Baylan to include them in her braid?

If the braid was Baylan’s idea, did he include them? Weave them through the strands? Did he talk to her about including them? Including crystals in a padawan braid wasnt traditional, to my knowledge (not that they are traditional jedi). Was it some sort of selfish choice? Was the ghost of his padawan still lingering in the middle of these two that he felt he had to?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN. WHY ARE THEY THERE. WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE.

I NEED THEIR WHOLE STORY RIGHT NOW

#oh. this got so out of hand. #hopefully it was somewhat coherent and understandable 💀💀 #this is assuming shin doesn’t die!!! #that’s a whole other post to make #the way I casually wrote this whole thing in the kitchen with my parents with my brightness all the way down #gamer moves #also tske anything I say with a grain of salt please im not an expert #im just Emotional and don’t know what to do with all of it #I WANT THEIR WHOLE STORY #PLEASE #I NEED IT LIKE I NEED WATER #ID WATCH A WHOLE SHOW OF THEM JUST WALKING AND TALKING #NEED SO MANY SCENES OF THEM THE LAST TWO EPISODES #PLEEEEEASSE #I live and breathe them someone help me please #this on scratches not even half my brains thoughts about them #the thoughts are being overworked #love how this slowly got more unhinged #ahsoka tv #baylan skoll #shin hati

[milimeters-morales]

okay night think about Miles as Spidey being invited to dinners but he has to keep denying because his dad taught him that you can’t just eat at everybody’s house no matter how well you know them (which in this case, not at all), and because if he starts coming home and not eating any dinner that’s been cooked his mom will unlock new mom-powers and figure out him being spider-man from that sudden development alone. also she’d get worried and he doesn’t wanna worry her (but god these people’s dinners smell divine)

#also like. even if i was spidey id always deny food and stuff because like… i don’t know what’s in that? lol #but yeah you don’t live with them you don’t know what they do in that kitchen and you don’t know what’s in your food common sense to me! #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #jefferson morales #rio morales

[designernishiki]

You asked for a fic rec so I’ll toss this one at ya: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46767358?view_full_work=true Stick through the formatting for the characterization, tone, and really the whole vibe of this fic. I haven’t been able to get the bathroom call between Daigo and Majima out of my head for weeks since I read it with how naturally it all flows. My own little Daigo characterization booklet to review when I feel like I need a refresher on him.

so I may have stayed up until 6am reading this (would’ve slept earlier but I couldn’t stop reading it) and hgggahaghhhhaggahshhhhhhhh that was one of the most well-characterized fics I’ve ever read what the fuck. like the differences in how each character speaks (both tone-wise and in differing levels of authenticity) and how they speak to specific others (the daigo and majima dyanmic specifically- how they actually take into account how long they’ve been working really closely- SO good), the mental anguish and chaos vs the overwhelming emptiness of being daigo dojima but no longer The 6th Chairman Daigo Dojima……….I could keep going but I think you get it.

tbh I’d been wanting to write something exploring a similar set of dynamics/situation (post-kiryu’s fake death, interactions with haruka, daigo, and/or majima specifically, reflecting on his shortcomings while acknowledging the heavy Grief left behind) but now I’m like. well I still could but this was so well written in regards to daigo and haruka that, as far as something between those two goes, I don’t feel the need to.

thanks for the recommendation! my brain is broken now (affectionate)

#rambling #fics #fic rec #there’s a little bit of minedai in there via flashback but I don’t know if im gonna put this in my minedai tag cause it’s really #not tecccchnically a minedai fic. it’s just. a daigo-centric fic/study more than anything #my favorite more lighthearted moment in this story is daigo talking to haruka in Okinawa after like 3 years and hearing about her #‘situationship’ with yuta and how it’s just more convenient to tell people they’re a legit couple and daigo’s immediate response on impulse #is just. ‘that must be nice. I mean that you can do that. if it were two guys or two girls or something you wouldn’t be able to do that.’ #or something like that and simultaneously sweating because he has no fucking idea why he’s saying that and can’t find a way to abort #my only critique is that I was hoping he’d come out to her (probably on the scene after that where it’s just them sitting on the deck) #and it wouldn’t even have to be a Big Thing it’s just. it felt like it was leading up to that (whether coming out on purpose or on accident) #but ah well #don’t get me wrong I think she could probably figure it out on her own based on the fact that daigo’s never had a girlfriend to her #knowledge and is in his 40s + that weird little gay tangent he went on earlier out of the blue #if anyone could pick it up though context clues and hints it’d be haruka and akiyama The Investigators. and oh no. looks like that’s #exactly who he’s stuck with #id love to see an update cause of this oh mannnn #(if anyone could pick it up it’d be those two + also majima but I kinda figured at this point majima would almost certainly already know #they seem like they have a mutual (possibly unspoken) recognition of one another on that front. based a little on what daigo says about #‘when kiryu says jump you say how high’ and majima floundering a little before admitting ‘you know I can’t resist those big #brown puppydog eyes…’ like i know that’s not too on the nose but it’s enough of a casual acknowledgement to Me that it feels… idk it just #feels like they Know. it just makes sense. and I hope they do cause it’d feel a little less lonely and terrifying to be gay in that world if #that were the case. yet another thing making it feel like majima’s a way more viable parent figure to him than kiryu fr fr…… #anyway I could keep going forever so I should probably stop #I’ve never considered how daigo would interact with akiyama and now they’ve got me intrigued. I really hope they update this with something #daigo #I really think a chunk of this fanbase (particularly The Queers) understand daigo as a character better than rgg studio does. and cares more

[pebblezone]

this Tylenol ain’t shit w

#talkingcore #emotions. man. #there’s so much music that I just haven’t listened to in a bit and it’s making me feel things it’s not even like sad things I’m like damn #how long has it been since I’ve listened to beautiful stranger by Madonna as featured in Austin powers international man of mystery #but also something in my brain feels like it needs to cry like I don’t feel like I physically can but something needs to be released #so do I go pet sounds? smile? falsettos? I feel like I need to be in a sleeping bag and Contemplate #fun fact! Kendra Morris has an absolutely stunning cover of don’t talk (put your head on my shoulders) #I’m pretty neutral on beach boys covers tbh I’m never crazy about them since like they really never measure up #how many mid covers of god only knows can I take? not many. but like she & him have their little Brian Wilson tribute I like that. #the covers are a lot better when they don’t try to perfectly replicate whatever the fuck Brian Wilson was doing they aren’t him #brain wants to go melancholy mode but I’ve no clue over what. girl just tell me what I’m supposed to be sad over I’ll commit to the bit #need to keep listening to new stuff but also need old stuff Maybe that’s it maybe I just need old stuff again? like routine?? shit idk #also like at 5 am I woke up and remembered how in choir people kept comparing me to the director they had the year before me #and the thing is she had the same name as someone else in choir that was student teaching my first semester so I kept thinking they were #referring to her Id be in my choir fit my silly suit my proud butch uniform and they’d be like oh this is so ‘insert name’! #and it kept throwing me off because the student teacher was like. not like me at all so I was like fuck #what kind of girl core energies am I accidentally emitting this is Bad. so anyway 5 am I’m like fuck it I need to research this person #I search. find her. she’s butch. I’m blessed. they weren’t lying like man we do such a good job at being generic! yay! #butch And in choir! love to see it! keep thinking how I am destined to be like in my 40s doing mundane tasks #I’m gonna be soooooo good at watering plants and putting salt on the sidewalk before it snows and cleaning drains #need to be a dad mom so fucking bad you don’t get it I need to drive carpool and take off work for dentist trips and watch hgtv #AHHHH i think that got rid of some of the sad lfg💥💥💥💥this must be super long god damn sorry

[puppy-the-mask]

I was about to sleep and then got assaulted by the fact that Peng is my lmk equivalent of Mutt in that I hate them both and so think about them a lot and damnit they’re pretty to look at and I’m mad about it. I hate that I like them so much

And then immediately after I got bombed so hard I had to write this because Peng and Rant are the same fucking character- send help my precious best boy has the same personality as this dumb bird bitch. I find solace in the fact that my boy has depth, redeeming qualities, and an actual character arc. Yet I lament that they’re both sassy drama queens who would sell you out, not for a corn chip, but to see what happens when they do because they’re bored and think it’ll be funny.

#MOST PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IM TALKING ABOUT BUT TLDR; #IM SOBBING BECAUSE ONE OF MY OC’S ACTS A LOT LIKE PENG BUT WHILE I LOVE MY OC I HATE PENG WITH A BURNING PASSION ENEMIES TO LOVERS STYLE #but mostly enemies #even as lovers id sass the fuck out of them and be a bitch back #BUT YEAH I DIDNT WANT THIS EPIPHANH THANKS- YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK UNIVERSE PLEADE AND THANKS #for those of you who Do know Rant- this is him pre-character arc and yeah- he’s a MAJOR asshole #I don’t go into detail the kind of shit him and his bro get up to but they’re grade a assholes #-who care about nobody but themselves and eachother #casual conversation #there is a valid reason everyone in their stories hate them and warn against hanging around them #they’re heartbreakers yeah- but they’re also just kinda shitty people #they judge people based on usefulness and entertainment value

[neuropteran]

i think if someone cooked me heart shaped ravioli bc they loved me that would cure me. a house and a sunlit window and someone who just rlly wanted to look after me

#i think i wanna die again. all this medical stuff was supposed to help me but idk if it’s just the circumstance again #I don’t want to go to therapy I’ve never had a good therapy experience and I just want to talk about dying #if someone just rlly genuinely cared abt me that would be enough you know? #I rlly thought that perosn did but now they’re not even messaging me anymore and I feel so #I feel so stupid. Let me care about you #Whatever I did I’m sorry. I’m sorry I care too much and I don’t even matter I’m sorry I want you to be someone you’re not #I want you to be happy bc I care about you and I’m sorry you’re not happy #I miss you. I missed you when you were here. #I miss the person who was nice to me im sorry I drove them off #What’s wrong with you #you’re a fool. Id do anything for you why are you wasting it. Am I so unlovable that even just getting so much is not enough? #When will I be enough? #Dot.txt

[zanathan-aisling]

cat hacker reintroduces mspec lesbian discourse into my life my brain obliterates itself in ocd-fueled recursive self-argumentation

#‘noones identity lives in a bubble and the self-id of others DOES effect broader culture and cause potential ramifications’ #and #‘jfc i’m not the center of the god damn universe and REGARDLESS of whatever petty semantic preference i have towards ‘my’ definition that #doesn’t mean shit for other people + the idea that queer people can be ‘invalidated’ or ‘excluded’ is fucking STUPID that isn’t how queers #work we aren’t a fucking club we can kick people out of for not doing things ~correctly~’ #can seemingly coexist in my brain but they keep biting each other #oh and in addendum to the first one ‘my lesbianism is fundamentally disinterested in men as both ID and interest to the point that it has #can feel (<- FEEL) like active misgendering to imply its definitionally compatible with other conceptions of the word. #not to mention the whole ‘i can’t even fucking figure out how my sexuality treats bigender people at all. like i’m consciously fine with #them from a like… impersonal framework but LUST-WISE it feels like dividing by zero. i don’t know. fucking logic puzzle ass shit.’ #ON MY END I’M FUCKING MISGENDERING SOMEONE EITHER WAY ITS. GAH. HELP #IT MAKES ME FEEL BADLY PROGRAMMED. CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A LITTLE GENDER FUCKERY. INFANT BRAIN. #you can pry my ID from my cold dead hands and if you imply its bigoted or ~separatist~ in origin i’ll fucking gut you. but also teehee its #just MY id and you can ID however you want just don’t tell me how to identify sparkle sparkle~<3 #but also my id IS mutually exclusive of yours definitially and WILL cause problems going forward from a clerical & organizational standpoint #homonym ass queer theory relied on by a fucking spineless little shit who refuses to take a hard stance for what she believes is right OR c #correct. the spineless coward is me. by homonym i mean the same word and spelling meaning different things to different people to the point #it might as well not be same word at all #‘i think my definition of lesbian is objectively better and wish people using other definitions would please stop but ALSO if you think less #of other people for using other definitions i will beat your skull in with a rock you bitch’ is. what i boil down to. #‘i think inclus vs exclus language is stupid and not how the lgbt+ community works but going by the logic i don’t like the existence of the #ID but also literally almost all my bestest friends in the world are inclus on the subject and despite my semantic arguments i don’t disagre #disagree with them. i still pray every night that i might wake up to a world where my actual opinions are unnecessary and my consciousness k #knows pure unchallenged peace though’ #while also recognizing that dream of personal peace by way of ignorance of the identity of others is pretty fucking selfish lol #i keep writing addendums. this can go on forever.

[peachy-lemon83]

I have determined that some peoples brain must be able to separate fictional characters from irl people, and then some peoples brain can’t. Because like there is no way we’re watching this same thing and I’m so attached to this character bawling while he dies and they’re sitting over there looking at me like I’m crazy for crying. Like what do you mean your not attached?!?!

For reference it was a bit ago, me and my parents watching Endgame, I was rewatching it and still bawling, my parents weren’t phased one bit by the movie. And yes I do still think about that moment because I am still and will be for a very long time mourning Toby Stark.

#mourning fictional characters #fictional characters #avengers endgame #Tony stark #im still reading fix it fics to survive #I just miss him #and I miss Iron dad and spider son #like what do you mean you don’t get over attached to certain fictional characters #and you don’t cry when they die #even though logically you know you can rewatch or read anything with them in it #but you’ll never have fresh new cannon content with them ever again #and it’s even worse when you like a pair because then the others reaction just kills you #Far From Home is so good but absolutely gut wrenching the second I think about it for more then a second #and like I didn’t even start watching the Marvek movies til around Covid #Id only know Tony for like months max #though to be fair the first Iron Man movie was why I had decided to watch any of them at all #and now I’m a huge nerd who binged them in order of events #all the way to Far From Home

[starkidlabs]

I think the worst part of being broken up with after dating someone so long is just when you see a funny meme or hear some exciting news and you just don’t have anyone to tell

#although I love my friends I just don’t text them as often so it would be weird of me to send them things or tell them about my day #every time I see an orangutan video I almost want to cry because he loved orangutans and every time I saw a video of one id send it to him #the worst of it is - I’m just completely isolated rn #I’m back at uni but nobody is going out because of essay deadlines (and that’ll probably continue for at least 2 more weeks) and other than #that I’m completely alone - I call my mum everyday but I have nothing else #and then the film festival that I normally help out at is going on rn but I can’t go cause of essays so just seeing that posted online is #making me feel even more isolated than normal #I just feel more alone than ever before and I really don’t know what to do

[faithinlouisfuture]

.

#ashamed anon #not publishing your ask cuz I don’t know if it’s genuine or not #if it is the good for you #some of us have been saying for a while #and if watching the documentary had this effect on you then all I can say is finally #I can’t watch the documentary till it’s put up on some streaming platform so I won’t be able to tell why you came to this conclusion for #quite some time even though I have an idea why #id you actually feel like talking it through please free to dm me about it #you wouldn’t be the first one to do it and I would never reveal your identity #as for telling your moots you don’t owe them anything #simply start catering your content/tweets to your interests ONLY and they’ll begin to understand on their own #especially if you don’t want to be confrontational #because your side of the fandom are bullies when it comes to online interactions and difference of opinion #hope there’s many many many more like you in the coming weeks and months #also I really mean it feel free to dm me and talk about it - I won’t judge or reveal your identity #you’ll find that louies are not what we’ve been made out to be #here’s to hoping you stay strong to your new found convictions #appreciate your message <3 #(sorry for all the typos that’s just how I am)

[pearlpool]

!

#it’s so interesting how #every time something like. what just happened to me. Happens #it makes me feel so much better after the fact about it all. like more than anything i’m just glad to have an explanation #literally who knows why im sooooooooo attractive to emotionally unavailable ppl! <3 #but it happens every time ! #and they haaaate talking about their feelings so i Have to make them do it myself #basically dating is overrated. not worth everything that it takes to make it happen (<- GUY WHO PROBABLY DOESNT ACTUALLY THINK THIS) #(GUY WHO WOULDNT KNOW) #sigh i should probably be like. Talking to Someone about this instead of posting on tumblr dot com #but alas!!! no friends ……. #moving cities is so fucking hard #and part of the reason i got so excited about my thing w this person Going somewhere was like #id have a solid friendship in this city. at least #but now it feels like i don’t even have that ://// haha! #she doesn’t Want to be around me bc it’s confusing 😀 #so. #oh well! #💌

[samuraisharkie]

did I SERIOUSLY get called an “absolute walnut” from a tumblr checkmark blog. AIEJGKWJGKDNGM. if I saw sainamoonshine irl I would maul their ableist condescending ass within an inch of their life. not worth it to fight with them bc they clearly don’t care about anyone else’s perspective but jesus fucking CHRIST what a piss poor refutation of me calling them ableist. And in three paragraphs no less!

#I knew it was going to be bad when that serious reply started with action asterisks LMAO #deliberately misinterpreting what I meant by ‘alt text is not for jokes’ too. bitch you KNOW I didn’t mean it that way. die #sainamoonshine is having an absolute TANTRUM that people wanted. a full ID?? #and someone asked for one more than once???? and then you just unload on someone literally just asking for full ID. #their defense isn’t even good 💀 it didn't NEED to be explained it was just for me I didn't think people would want all the WiNdoW dReSsiNg' #what so only people who can see the image without accessibility readers can get the full context?? #so the ppl relying on screen readers don’t get to see the behavior you’re talking about in your caption?? that’s just for the 20/20s?? #the condescending pedantic ass way they did that. I KNOW I shouldn’t reply further but ohhh boy do I want to lol #the violence in my chest when ppl are so rudely and proudly ableist all while thinking they’re not. I think Id genuinely scar them for life #the other reason I’m not gonna do this is because catgirlcowboy was just asking for a fucking ID not tumblr drama #and I KNOW they’d get caught up in it #blogs like that love to make their messes as big and loud as possible #speaking of which I am so sorry an ugly ass double checkmark blog acted out at you for wanting accessibility catgirlcowboy. holy fuck #also I’m never blocking a motherfucker who clearly doesn’t like me but is asking ME to block them lmao #why don’t you do it you little spineless cunt?? no?? won’t do it?? can’t muster up the courage?? too bad then! #I’ll just filter their name out and never actively block them LMAO

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

i often wonder what the cornley drama society were doing during the christmases/decembers we didn’t see a show in

#OKAY so here’s my personal timeline of cornley events #so i treat the dates filmed shows aired as if they were live #so with that in mind #i think they did murder at haversham manor in nov/dec 2015 #then i believe they did peter pan as a play before it got actually filmed #so they did it throughout nov/dec 2016 #and then the events of the play actually occurred during the filmed show #which was the 31st dec 2016 #then they did accgw on the 30/12/2017 #THEN there’s a blank christmas/december #where we don’t know what they were doing #i personally headcanon that they didn’t do a play #because they had max and sandra’s wedding #i know we don’t know when it happened canonically (or if it’s even happened yet) #but given they got engaged after a year of dating #id assume they did the wedding after a year as well #which i think is cute #bc then they can do it on the 30th (and then into the 31st) #and that’s the anniversary of them starting dating and getting engaged #so i think that would be really cute #then moving on #the spirit of christmas was 23/12/2019 #and then the nativity was 22/12/2020 #so that’s both of those #but then… what have they been doing since #what did they do 2021. what did they do 2022. #these are the questions i think about at night #nothing is more important to me

[babycupart]

to write out or not write an in depth analysis on earthborn shepard being touch starved and having a praise kink

#or maybe i should just write a fic about it #im kind of going insane rn bc there is just SO MUCH stuff to work with #like. the fact that he’s an orphan… has no idea who his parents are if he was even wanted in the first place #being forced to live a life on the streets and not trusting ANYONE #joining the alliance and finally having a place to sleep comfortably without the fear of going to bed hungry or if someone is gonna rob you #but also not really fitting in bc once your brain is used to being mistreated all the time it’s so hard to let that go #and then also being further alienated bc you’re an n7 best of the best #your reputation speaking louder for you than who you actually are #people assuming things about you and forcing you to put up shields to protect yourself like you used to do as a kid but now it’s different #but also totally the same #no one ever touching you bc of that distance #not having time for relationships bc of your dedication to your career and deep emotional scars #but when you finally do you don’t know what you like because you’ve never had the opportunity to explore that part of you #and when someone acknowledges you.. when they gently try to smooth a hand over your worried brow #and tell you how good you are and how much you mean to them #id just about break down and cry