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corrodedhawkins · 2 years

Text

Prozac: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Words: 2.4k

Warnings:: Mentions of blowjobs, female masturbation, swearing, kissing, fingering, oral (f! receiving), praise (can I write anything without praise? No) This fic deals with mental health, mental health medication, and the possible side effects of them, including sexual dysfunction and the shame that can come with it. Please skip this if any of these are triggering for you. MINORS DNI

Authors note: This is definitely softer than what I usually write 😅 Based off of this post This subject is very personal to me, I hope I did it justice

You switch your vibrator off with a huff, throwing it off the side of your mattress onto the floor. You feel your eyes well up with frustrated tears. It’s been months. Months since your last orgasm.

Since being prescribed Prozac for your depression six months back, you’ve felt broken. Your sex drive had significantly decreased, and when you were in the mood, you couldn’t get off. You would get so wet and desperate and close but you just couldn’t cum.

It was like all the sensations you used to enjoy, your vibrator or your fingers on your clit, felt dull. You found yourself desperately trying to get off, but it was no use.

Eddie, your boyfriend of a few months, had been so patient with you when it came to sex. You were putting it off as long as possible, terrified you’d scare him off once he realized your problem. You could always fake it, but you didn’t like the idea of lying to him.

Instead, you settled for blowjobs, hoping they would keep him satisfied enough to forget you weren't having sex. Unfortunately, you had no such luck.

You’re flat on your back on Eddie’s bed, him hovering over you with his knee slotted between your spread thighs. You kiss him hungrily, feeling yourself starting to soak through your panties as he grinds his knee into your clothed core.

You moan against his lips as he uses his hold on your hips to grind you down against his thigh. It feels…fine. You can feel the pressure of him against you, but it’s fleeting. You don’t need to be able to feel much to enjoy this, right?

Eddie pulls away from your lips to whisper into your ear, “Can I touch you, please baby?”

You stiffen against him. “Wouldn’t you rather a blowjob?”, you ask hopefully.

Eddie shakes his head, nosing his way down your jaw, teeth scraping over the hinge. “Wanna make you feel good.” He presses hot, wet kisses down your throat.

“Don’t you want my mouth?”, you try again, hand shooting out to grab at his zipper.

Eddie stops you with a gentle hand. “Of course I do, but I want you to enjoy yourself this time babe. You never never let me get you off.” He nuzzles your neck, his hair tickling your cheek.

“It’s fine”, you mumble, reaching for him again. This time, Eddie’s hands are more firm when he bats yours away. “Hey, come on. Something’s wrong." His eyes rake over your face, desperately trying to read you.

You're panicking. You knew this would come up eventually. You were hoping to enjoy another few weeks of utter happiness with him before Eddie found out and broke up with you.

“Is it me? Did I do something wrong?" His tone is so gentle you could cry. You feel the familiar prickle of tears in your eyes. Fuck.

"No. Of course you didn't do anything wrong." You're doing your best to keep your breathing steady as you hold back tears.

Eddie slides off of you and sits up. "Baby", he grabs your hand and squeezes. "Please tell me what's going on."

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, tears finally escaping. "You know how I take medication for my depression?", your voice quivers.

"Yeah?", Eddie reaches up to wipe away a stray tear, eyes darting back and forth between yours. He had always been so great, setting an alarm when he was with you to remind you to take your pill.

"Well. I-there are side effects." Your eyes flick up to look at Eddie, then back down to the covers beneath you.

"I don't understand", Eddie shakes his head, brow furrowing.

You screw your eyes shut, cheeks burning with shame. “I can't get off since I started my meds, okay?"

Eddie’s eyes instantly soften when he sees the distress on your face. "Jesus Christ baby, I'm so sorry." He tightens his hold on your hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

You let out a watery laugh, "I didn't want you to leave once you realized I was broken."

A choked laugh tumbles from Eddie’s lips. "What? Why would I leave you?"

"Because! Everything is defective now", you gesture to your lap. "I can't get off and sometimes I can barely even feel sensations like I used to."

Eddie pulls you into his chest. “Sweetheart. You are not broken or defective, alright? I'm so sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to me about this, but I appreciate you telling me now." He runs his hands soothingly up and down your back as you sniffle into his chest.

"I don't-I don't want to push you, or anything", he says carefully. "But if you're up for it, I'd like to touch you."

"What's the point?", you mumble into the fabric of his shirt.

"The point is", he pulls you away from his chest to look into your eyes. "That I want to make you feel good."

"But I", you interrupt.

Eddie shakes his head. "No buts. Making you feel good doesn’t have to have anything to do with getting off.” He cups your cheek gently and pulls you into a deep kiss, tongue tangling with yours.

Your eyes flutter shut as you melt into the kiss, arms wrapping around his neck to tug him closer.

He pulls you into his lap with a hand on your lower back to urge your forward, fingers exploring your skin as his nails trail over your back and down your sides.

“Can I take this off?”, Eddie whispers, one hand resting over the fabric bunched at your waist. He slips it up and over your arms when you nod, throwing it behind him.

You’re starting to squirm in his lap, his hands gripping your hips as he rocks you down to grind into his erection.

He leans down to mouth at your neck, your collarbone, and finally your cleavage. “This okay?”, he murmurs into the soft skin. Bringing one hand around to hover over the clasp of your bra, he waits for your answer.

“Yeah”, you look down to watch as he grazes his teeth over your skin softly, earning a quiet gasp.

He looks up at you through his dark lashes, lips twitching into a soft smile as he undoes the clasp, pulling the straps down and off.

You giggle as you watch Eddie’s eyes settle on your bare chest. “Jesus”, he breathes, low and admiring.

Your breath hitches as he kisses down your sternum, his warm hand cupping one breast. He runs the stubble on his cheek back and forth over your other nipple, humming when it hardens under his touch.

His tongue darts out to trace the nub, swirling the tip around before wrapping his lips around it, sucking gently.

“Does that feel good?”, he asks against your skin, grinding his erection up into your ass.

“Yeah”, you exhale, head tipping back.

A smug smirk spreads across Eddie’s face. “Exactly my point. I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want, but I think you do want me to touch you, and you’re just too scared to let me.”

“That is an accurate assumption”, you grumble, not meeting his gaze.

Eddie laughs softly, “That’s what I thought. C’mon”, he lifts you from his lap, setting you gently against the mattress. “Lay back.”

Once you’re settled back into the pillows, he turns his attention to your other breast, licking and sucking on your nipple. When he grazes the nub with his teeth gently, you thread your hands in his hair and cry out.

“Are you gonna let me?”, he asks, lips leaving your chest to kiss down your stomach. “Gonna let me touch you?” He stops when he gets to the top of your jeans, chin resting on your tummy as he looks up at you, waiting for your answer.

He smiles up at you when you unbutton your jeans for him, taking over to ease them and your panties down your legs to drop onto the carpet. He settles between your thighs, face hovering over your core.

He leans in to lick teasingly over your clit, and you feel your eyes well up with tears when you can barely feel it. You had been so hopeful a few moments earlier, when his touch had felt amazing.

Sensing your frustration, he grabs your hand and tangles your fingers together. “C’mon, I want to try something.” He presses a quick kiss to the inside of your thigh, “Touch yourself for me.”

“Eddie”, you sigh.

“Trust me, please?”, he looks up at you from between your thighs, begging you with his big brown doe eyes. “I promise I’ll stop if you ask me to.” You can’t say no to him.

He squeezes your hand before bringing your fingers to rest right above your heat. “Just relax. Do what you would normally do if I wasn't here.”

Your shaking hand moves down to tease your slit, fingers dragging through your wetness before delving into your folds. You're nervous, you've never touched yourself in front of anyone before.

Eddie lays his head on your thigh, watching as you touch yourself, desperate to learn what you like, what makes you moan and your breath hitch.

You circle your clit slowly with your fingertips, pressure slowly building from teasing to firm as you choke back a whimper.

He turns his head and presses kisses to the soft skin of your inner thighs, sucking and biting when it gets a reaction out of you. He stops at the crease of your thigh where your wetness has already started to spread.

His tongue darts out to taste, and you can feel the vibration of his groan against your skin, “Fuck, you taste so good.” He takes his time, lapping up every last drop of your wetness he can get.

Once he’s tasted all he can, he nips and sucks on the sensitive skin again, the stubble on his jaw scraping against you. You can't help but squirm.

You move your fingers from your clit to circle your hole, dripping with your arousal. A whine rips from your throat as you plunge two fingers in.

“Yeah?”, Eddie asks, eyes transfixed on you touching yourself for him. He’s imagined this so many times, his very own porno. “Can I help?”

“Please”, you whine, head dropping back against the pillows.

Eddie presses one last kiss to your thigh before shuffling closer. “I think”, he says, placing a soft kiss to your clit.

He smirks when it elicits a soft, shaky gasp from you. “That maybe you just need a little extra time and attention to relax and get into it. To get out of your head and let go.”

“Mmhmm”, you hum, eyes fluttering shut as he presses another soft kiss to the nub, tongue darting out to swipe over it.

He pulls back to lick a hot stripe over your slit, nose bumping your clit as you gasp. “How’s that feel?”

“It-it feels good”, you moan, hand finding his shoulder to grab onto. “So fucking good. I still don’t think I’ll be able to-”

“Shh”, he soothes. “Relax. I have nothing better to do than eat this pretty pussy.” Eddie hums against you, tracing the tip of his tongue over your clit. “I have all night.”

He dives in, lips latching onto your clit as he alternates from firm, slow laps of his tongue to quick, barely there licks. You’re starting to really feel his touch, pussy so swollen and sensitive you feel like you could cry every time his breath fans over you.

Your hips buck off of the bed, grinding yourself into his mouth. Unable to focus on fucking yourself any longer, your fingers still and slip out of you to wind their way into Eddie's hair instead.

He replaces your fingers with his, pumping in time with the rhythm of his tongue on your clit. You clench around his fingers when they slot against that spot inside of you, making you feel like you might actually cum.

“Fuck, fuck”, you whimper. “Please don’t stop.”

Eddie hums against you, “Not stopping.” He burrows his face further into you, lapping and sucking on your puffy lips. “You’re doing so well for me. Being so good.”

A high, desperate whine escapes you at the praise. You feel out of control, completely at his mercy. The now foreign feeling of your pussy throbbing, muscles tensing as your orgasm builds catches you off guard.

You tighten your fingers in his hair, legs trembling as you lock them around his shoulders. “Eddie”, you gasp. “Baby, baby I’m gonna cum.”

Eddie moans against you, tongue lapping flat against your clit with firm pressure. With one final jab of his fingers into your spot, you’re coming undone with a wail.

You’re sobbing, body shaking as you finally tip over the edge you’ve been looking over for months. It just keeps going, every wave of pure pleasure making you feel like it’ll never stop.

Eddie guides you through it, murmuring praises into your skin. "There we go. Good girl. Good fuckin' girl. Knew you could do it for me."

Once your orgasm fades, you're left a panting, shaking mess. Eddie gathers you into his arms and holds you tightly, pressing kisses to the top of your head.

After a few beats, you reach for Eddie’s belt, but he grabs your hand and presses a sweet kiss to the back. “Don’t worry about me. Tonight was all about you.”

He shifts back against the pillows, spreading one arm against the them as an invitation. You slot yourself against his side, head pillowed on his shoulder.

You throw your leg over him wrap around his hip, burrowing into the crook of his neck. Humming as you feel yourself relax into the mattress, you still as you feel a cool damp spot against the inside of your knee. “You came, didn’t you?”

Eddie freezes for a moment before a laugh rumbles from his chest. “Possibly.”

You snort. “That’s a shame. I was hoping to return the favor", you tease.

Without warning, Eddie rolls on top of you, wrapping himself around you tightly. “Give me five minutes and I can be hard again", he says before pulling you into a deep, slow kiss.

Tag list:

@manddoublee

@msmimiandrew @kellynickelsgirl00

@ghastlyentity @sweetpeapod

@e0509 @stardustmunson

@simpingoverfictionalppl @quinnswife86

@munsonquinns @thorfemmes

@khaleesibubblegum

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x female reader #tw: mental health #Melissa writes

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thethreeeyed-raven · 9 months

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Hi !!! First I wanna say that I love the aesthetic of ur account it’s so pretty and nicely put together I’m obsessed. Second, I was wondering if I could request something for a Legolas x half elf reader where the reader is very like, unladylike, and doesn’t follow elven traditions ?? Like she’s very brash, flirts with lots of people, drinks a lot, doesn’t really have any of that elegance or poise that he’s used to when it comes to eleven girls and is a extremely good fighter. She’s a trusted friend of Gandalf and he brings her to the council of Elrond and she joins the fellowship and all dat.

Ok I’m done sorry if that’s too detailed feel free to not write it if you don’t want to, don’t want you to feel pressured to jus cause I asked 😅

i think you are beautiful

navigation | warnings : gimlis a little bitch, a little bit of angst? a little bit of gimli/dwarf slander😭 | a/n : if this isn’t what you want then i’m sorry😭, also of the elvish is wrong PLEASE LMK i literally used an sindarin, i kind of forgot about the flirty part and half elf part, but it’s mentioned a little bit, i asp used british slang for ‘hello’ IM BRITISH | lotr masterlist | tags : @knight-of-flowerss @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom

Legolas hadn't expected to see you at Elrond's secret meeting.

He didn't even know you knew Gandalf. Well, he didn't know much about you at all really. Of course, Legolas has seen you before, with the adventures he went on with Aragorn and what not, he was hardly ever seen around Lothlórien, and he was sure you were too.

But when you entered the circle of middle-earth creatures with your eccentric aura and manly stance, he thought of you intriguing.

"Another bloody elf?!" Gimli explained in disgust.

Legolas turned to the dwarf seated beside him, opening his mouth ready to throw a remark back when you interrupted.

"Well you are in the Rivendell, dwarf. If you are willing to help with the destruction of the ring, you must watch your tongue, before I cut it out." You threw him a smirk, and watched as Gimli shrunk back in his seat.

"Y/n! I've been expecting you for quite some time." Gandalf made his way over and enveloped you into a hug, which you reciprocated.

"You did show up in the middle of nowhere when I was trying to fish, you owe me a pint, don't forget."

You patted his back and made you way over to an empty chair, which was ironically beside Legolas.

"Oreyt there Legolas?" You patted his shoulder and look towards Elrond. "Let's get on with it then!"

It had been about a week since you and the fellowship had attended Elrond's secret council meeting, and since then, you hadn't really bonded with anyone like everyone else had, though you thoroughly enjoyed flirting.

You knew Aragorn already had his heart set on Arwen, Gimli couldn't stand you (you found it funny to rile him up).

Legolas was your favourite to tease.

He wasn't used to your heavy drinking, swordsmanship, the way your eyes glistened in the moonlight...

You weren't at all what he had thought.

You had a kind heart. And your beauty went beyond those of the other elven women.

And Gimli made sure to point out that you were different.

"Are you sure you're not a man?"

You turned around to look at him, holding back a frown.

"Wait, you're not a man?" Pippin chimed in, finally causing the frown to appear and you started to walk ahead of Gandalf. "Did I say something wrong?"

Nearly an hour later, you all had found a place to rest, yet you didn't talk throughout the whole way through.

Legolas and Aragorn were relieving themselves of their weapons when Legolas peered over at you who stood in the far corner away from everyone else, but near enough for you to hear him insult Gimli.

"I norn na- an imbecile." He placed his arrows next to his bow and Aragorn turned to look at him.

"Whui ceri- cin eithad Gimli? Does ha gar- something na ceri- with ui/n?" Aragorn questioned him.

"-o iór ha does! How berth- ho ask hen such a nad! At least with ammen galadrim mín know what mín are!"

Gimli looked up at Boromir who wasn't paying any mind to the rather loud conversation they were having.

"What are the elf and the man speaking about?"

Boromir just shrugged. "I don't know, I don't speak Sindarin.

You, having understood their conversation, smiled a little to yourself, happy that at least someone here would defend you.

You sat quietly beside a lake, inspecting the flora surrounding you, when you heard footsteps.

You swung your body round, placing your hand on the blade strapped to your leg.

The sound revealed itself to be Legolas. "There you are, Gandalf sent me to make sure you weren't missing."

You nodded and motioned him to sit next to you.

"You were being rather loud with Aragorn earlier." You chuckled as you watched a red tint spread across Legolas' cheeks. "Thank you."

Legolas nodded in acknowledgment and he was about to stand up when you grabbed ahold of his hand.

Your hand was rough, no doubt from the countless weapons you have wielded or practised with.

"Legolas, do you think I'm pretty?"

He was taken aback by your sudden question.

Since you were little you had struggled with femininity. Your hobbies were 'un-ladylike', your looks were considered to be 'manly'.

The silence was too loud, too long. So you took that as a no.

"I think you are beautiful. And I think you're too good for anyone here." He sat back down next to you. "Not only are your combat skills exceptional, but the way you carry yourself outshines any of the elvish women. They can't compete."

You moved closer, until your pinky was touching his.

"I may not know you that well, I've hardly ever seen you around Rivendell or any of the elven parts for that matter, and quite frankly, I couldn't care less if you were half elf, or half dwarf, or half whatever. I've still admired you from afar-"

You shut him up with a quick kiss to his lips.

Aragorn watched further away from the bushes, shaking his head with a grin, then going to tell Gandalf that you were safe.

"Im like cin verui limb legolas, a im gar- admired cin o palan too."

ELVISH TRANSLATION

‘I norn na- an imbecile’ - the dwarf is an imbecile

‘Whui ceri- cin eithad Gimli?’ - why do you insult Gimli?

‘Does ha gar- something na ceri- with ui/n?’ - does it have something to do with Y/n?

‘-o iór ha does! How berth- ho ask hen such a nad! At least with ammen galadrim mín know what mín are!’ - of course it does! how dare he ask her such a thing! at least with us elves we know what we are!

‘Im like cin verui limb legolas, a im gar- admired cin o palan too’ - i like you very much legolas, and i have admired you from afar too

#lotr x y/n #lotr x reader #lotr fanfic #lotr x you #lotr elves #lotr fandom #lotr #lotr imagine #lord of the rings #legolas #legolas x y/n #legolas x reader #legolas x you #legolas greenleaf #legolas greenleaf x reader #orlando bloom

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concreteburialplot · 2 months

Text

Intertwined // 05

-> 05 - Girl Crush*

pairing; noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist; here | crossposted; ao3 | word count; 10.3k 😅

warnings; sad lol, dumb boys, mutual masturbation, p0rn, alcohol, peer pressure, vomiting, college!omens, jolly intro, gay panic & very mild gender confusion??, denial is a river in egypt, 18+ MDNI

REMINDER: this is an au where everyone is around the same age, follows no actual timelines/events, and uses oc's for family members.

a/n: don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

-NICHOLAS-

It had been about a month since Noah moved out completely and was fully living with us. It wasn’t that difficult of a transition since he stayed with us most of the time anyway. He seemed to be finally settling in and getting comfortable, which I was happy about.

Him living in my house wasn’t the only thing that became comfortable - in fact maybe we’d gotten too comfortable.

That first night weeks ago, where we took care of our morning wood next to each other, wasn’t the last time. It started as that one time thing, then an occasional thing, then finally, a casual thing. Neither one of us seemed to take it seriously, maybe to play off the implications of it. Because what else are you supposed to do when you jack off next to your best friend regularly?

It became so casual, sometimes as if the other wasn’t there.

My half-asleep ears fill with the faint sounds of moans, accompanied by restrained groans I recognize. The more I wake I feel movement behind me.

I stir a bit before turning around finding Noah pumping himself under the covers while holding his phone in the other. He jumps a little when I catch him but doesn’t stop. His actions only halt temporarily.

“Sorry if I woke you up.” He says bashfully, baby pink tinting his cheeks.

“It’s fine.” I gulp, my eyes drifting to the obscene noises coming from his phone. “Whatcha watching?”

He shrugs, tilting his phone to me, revealing the most generic looking porn I’ve ever seen. But porn is porn and it makes my already semi-hard dick twitch. “You wanna… watch too?”

My cheeks grow warm at the offer, “Oh, um, I mean, I don’t wanna intrude…” Though, I can’t help my eyes from being glued to the screen.

He shifts a bit and reaches over, setting the phone down between us propped up in a divot of comforter. In the clumsy process, the duvet slides off his lap revealing his cock.

My eyes widen at the sight of him but I immediately divert my attention so that he doesn’t catch me and assume something else.

“Oh sorry.” He blushes and goes to cover himself again but pauses, “Actually, do you mind? I just don’t wanna deal with the mess and-“

“I don’t mind.” I reply faster than intended. I shake my head, “I just don’t wanna… do that. But I don’t care if you do.”

“Cool.” He nods and returns to his previous position with his eyes locked on the screen.

There’s a panicky heartbeat lingering in my chest but the throbbing in my cock takes precedence. I relax a bit beside him and life the duvet higher up on my body, trying to cover as much of myself as possible.

I spit into my hand before dipping it beneath the covers and down around my member, working it out from my shorts. A hiss leaves my mouth at the coldness of my palm but it doesn’t take long for that discomfort to fade.

My eyes begin on the phone, to the blonde woman with large unnaturally perky breasts being railed by some strong man with a big dick, something you’d find on the first page of any porn site. Not my usual cup of tea but whatever, it’s doing something for me right now.

Naturally, my eyes drift and happen to fall on Noah’s cock. His large hand works up and down his member – he’s duo-toned darker at the base and lighter towards the tip, kind of like me just much pinker. I glance between him and the man in the video. He’s smaller than the man, but he’s definitely not small. The video is obviously emphasizing the man’s large size, but he’s still smaller than me, not by much but he is. It makes me wonder if Noah would be impressed by my size.

Why would I think that? What do I care if Noah’s impressed by my dick?

Noah’s probably not even looking at him like that, I’m just weird I guess.

As if on cue, Noah comments.

“I wish my dick was that big.”

Not wanting to stay uncomfortably silent, I nervously chuckle, “Yeah me too.”

“Well, how big are you?” He asks casually.

My eyes nearly pop out of my head. Surely, he doesn’t actually wanna know.

“Oh – oh, I don’t know, but I don’t wanna take the covers off because-“

Noah proposes a solution, “I could feel?”

“I uh – what do you mean?”

“Like, feel it under the covers. So, I can’t see it. That’s what you’re insecure about isn’t it?”

“Um, I, well,” I stutter, trying to think of any sort of appropriate response. I should say no. I shouldn’t want him to do that. But something in me screams that this might be the only time this could happen – not sure why that’s even important. “Um, sure.”

I scooch a little closer to him so it’s easier for him to reach. Unexpectedly, he brings his free hand up to his mouth and spits into it. My eyebrows furrow at the action, not quite understanding why that’s necessary. But when his arm snakes itself under the covers and his hand replaces mine, I’m suddenly not as confused.

My eyes round at the feeling of his hand around me and every muscle in my body tenses when he starts moving.

“Jesus, you’re pretty big.” He says before his hand even reaches my tip.

Suddenly, all the nerves in my body seem to flood to cock and I feel so sensitive under his fingertips. I should be watching the video, but my eyes bounce between his still working on himself and on his other one bobbing under the covers. I can’t tell fully, but it seems like he’s pumping himself faster than before.

His palm reaches the head then slowly slides back down. “You’re so much bigger than me.” His voice seeming casual, but there’s a hint of strain beneath it.

His words and his even faster movements on both of us only worsens the buzzing in my cock.

“Is this okay? I just, I’ve only ever felt my own dick so, I’ve only ever imagined what having a bigger one would feel like.”

“Yeah, yep. It’s fine.” I reply quickly, just trying to maintain my composure.

My chest rises and falls rapidly and my fingers curl into the sheets. A familiar knot forms in the pit of my tummy and the last thing I want to do is cum while he’s touching me. His hand moves on me at the same speed as on his own. His fingertips stride up and down the underside of my length, hitting the sensitive spot beneath my tip every time. My lips press flat together as I try to stave off my orgasm – I don’t want to cum while he’s touching me, but I also don’t want him to stop.

Thankfully he has less stamina than I do.

“Ah, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He groans, working quickly on himself chasing his climax. “Fuck, fuck!” He whines desperately. His hand doesn’t stop on me while his hips buck up into his hand spurting milky white all over his exposed tummy.

The visual of his cock twitching and spilling cum all over his hand, combined with his high pitched moans and his hand on me catapults me over the edge. “F-Fuck.” I sputter out a strangled groan and scrunch my eyes closed. Before I have time to yank him off of me, my body goes rigid beneath him. The buzzing across my skin seems to all rush into my throbbing cock in Noah’s still moving hand. “O-Oh.” Slips from my mouth just above a whisper while every muscle in my abdomen tightens. I feel myself twitch and spill my own cum into the duvet and all over his hand.

The orgasm nearly blinds my vision and my heart beats so fast I can hear it thumping in my ears. Those couple seconds where it was just me, my racing heart and my throbbing cock, it was pure bliss. Possibly the hardest I’ve ever came before.

It’s not until I begin to come down that I realize what just happened and that… he worked me fully through my high?

My eyes shoot open the second I return to earth and feel his hand finally slip off my softening member. For a split second I contemplate if there’s a way for me to get out of this without even looking at him and god I wish there was.

Fuck

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” I begin to profusely apologize before he cuts me off.

He laughs, “It’s okay. I’m sure having someone else’s hand probably feels a lot better than your own. Even if it had been you I probably would’ve came even faster than normal… and you know I already don’t last long as it is.” He chuckles with a light peach tinting his cheeks.

One part of me feels bad that I hadn’t returned the favor, until I remember I didn’t really even want to do this to begin with. Then, another part of me wishes I had returned the favor, maybe I wanted to know the same thing he did - maybe I want to know what another cock would feel like in my hand too.

“Yeah - um,” I swallow the little saliva I have left in my dry mouth. “Yeah it was nice.”

He pulls his hand from beneath the covers. “So much for not making a mess.” He laughs.

My eyes round when I see just how much I had spilt all over his hand. “Yeah, yeah sorry again, I just didn’t think that…” My eyes follow his stare on the milky white mess of mine on his hand.

His coffee brown eyes snap up to mine and utters out the last words I ever thought he’d say. “Have you ever tasted your own cum?”

I blink blankly at him, completely devoid of words.

What the fuck

“I-I um, no? Why would I?”

“I don’t know, curiosity?”

“…Have you?”

“Well, yeah, I wanted to know.” He shrugs. “It was gross, bitter. But,” His eyes flutter back down to his hand. “I’ve obviously never tasted anyone else’s. I wonder if yours tastes different?”

My brain seems to glitch, not fully comprehending his statement.

“I-I um, I mean, probably.”

“Would it be super weird if I tasted it?”

My brows shoot up at the question.

But I reply before I’m even sure of my answer. “No, I um, don’t think it would be that weird?”

And it wouldn’t be, right?

He’s just curious.

Just like he was about my cock.

“Alright.” His tone much less confident than just seconds ago.

His dark brown eyes drop to the puddle of my cum on his right hand, just above where his thumb meets his hand. He lifts it tentatively up to his mouth; my eyes can’t help but rotate between his face and his approaching hand. Hesitantly, he darts his pink tongue past his lips to dip the tip of it into the puddle. Unexpectedly, his eyes find mine, snapping me out of my gaze that was locked on his tongue. His mahogany eyes surprise me, with how round and soft they are - so puppy dog-like for a situation such as this. I blink at him and for some reason, seeing him flatten his tongue a bit on the remnants of me makes my cock twitch. He takes a scoop of my orgasm on his tongue and into his mouth.

“Hm.” He hums, almost sounding pleased, like he was taste-testing wine. “You taste better than me. Sweeter. Must be all those bananas you eat.”

Sweeter

My brows join together, perturbed, “It can’t be that different?”

His boney shoulders raise into a shrug. “You can try mine if you want? To make it even or whatever.” He gestures his left hand up a bit to remind me that his mess remains on that hand too.

“Oh - I - well -“ I watch his hand gesture towards me again. The turbulence in my tummy reminds me of when someone offers you a gift and out of politeness, you’re supposed to refuse it - but I don’t want to refuse. I want to know.

“Oh c’mon it’s only fair, it’s not that bad.” He urges me, only reaffirming my inability to voice a decline.

I look down at the back of his hand covered in cloudy white rivers. My fingers gently take hold of his wrist and he lets me take control of his arm without a single ounce of resistance. I bring his hand to my lips and copy his actions - dart my tongue out and meet his eyes. His are just as intrigued as mine were, locked in my tongue.

The second his cum meets my taste buds, my eyes flutter closed. I’m surprised at the taste, it’s bitter and salty, what I imagine battery acid must taste like. The texture is about what I imagined, thick and slimy. And yet, even with the immediate disgust of it, it makes my cock twitch again. There’s a tingle in my fingertips and on my tongue that urges me to lap up the rest of his orgasm but I fear if I did, I’d be completely hard again. I never thought something as rancid as battery acid would make me hard, but for some reason right now it’s threatening to.

I’ve never been more grateful for anything more than the duvet on my body right now.

I half-force a twist in my face at the taste as I pull back from his arm. “Augh, that’s disgusting.”

He lets out a hearty laugh, “See! Told ya.”

A nervous chuckle escapes me, “That you did…”

-Next Day-

Since landing an apprenticeship at a local tattoo parlor, I don’t see much of either Noah or Folio. While I’m at work after class, they’ve been hanging out at the library in a study group full of people I barely know - people from the frat party a couple weeks ago.

Today though, I got off my shift early and I’m on a different mission.

My tires screech and the weight of my entire body jerks forward as Stella makes another abrupt stop at a redlight. My hand lands on my dash as a reflex I had gotten far too familiar with.

My tongue passes between my lips before pressing them together and close my eyes through a deep breath. I consider myself a fairly patient person, but if there’s anyone on earth who could get me to snap, it is definitely my sister.

“I told you to start braking 5 million feet ago.” I exhaled with the hopes of Buddha himself coming down and bestowing me with a well-deserved medal of excellent patience.

“Whatever, we still stopped, didn’t we?” She sasses, as she continues to dance to whatever pop song pours through the speakers.

“Yeah, barely.” I grumble, crossing my arms in the passenger seat. “I have no idea how they let you pass your driver’s test.”

“You are so grouchy today.” She glares at me. “What, did the shop bully you again?”

My eyes roll so hard they could’ve fallen out. “No.” I clench my fingers into my palms and stretch them out as overlayed flashbacks of scrubbing every inch of the tattoo parlor flash across my mind. “No, I just cleaned a lot. Fumes. Headache.”

“Right.” She responds unconvinced.

The car takes a sharp turn into a plaza I’ve only ever driven past before and pulls into a parking spot right in front of the destination of my mission.

“We’re here!” She beams, turning the engine off.

We walk up to the small shop snuggled in the tiny strip. The walls look like they were once white, a long, long time ago. Now they’re stained a yellow-y beige with weeds and vines growing across the plaster.

“’Record Store. Plus repairs.’” I read off the giant red letters above the door. “How creative.”

Stella’s elbow sharply jabs into my ribcage. “Ow!” I hiss and recoil away from her.

“Be nice. Be cool.” She scolds me in a hushed tone.

Whatever the fuck ��nice and cool’ means to a teenage girl.

A bell trills sharply when she pushes open the glass door. A rush of cold AC blasts against our skin soon as we step into the foyer.

At the tall reception desk stands a man with lengthy brown hair and a long face. He looks a couple years older than me, at least 23ish.

“Hi Jolly!” Perks Stella almost jumping the second her fingertips meet the glossy wood.

My teeth dig into my bottom lip in an attempt to stifle a giggle when I see the man noticeably deflate the moment he hears the shrill chirp of my sister’s 16-year old voice.

He sets down his pen on whatever paperwork he was working on and turns to us, “Hello Stella.” He greets flatly, with a hint of a foreign accent I can’t place yet.

It’s quite obvious that she comes in here often, more than she’s let on – enough for them to be on a first-name basis.

“Jolly, this is my brother Nick, Nick this is Jolly.” She beams at his name, completely smitten with the older boy. If it wasn’t so obvious that he’s irritated by her mere presence, I’d be more protective of her - but she’s perfectly fine. She’s made sure of that herself.

“Hey.” I meekly wave at him.

He acknowledges me with a nod and looks back at her. “What’s up.”

“Well, we need your help!” She rocks up and down on her feet with her hands behind her back.

“Great. What is it you need help with?” His fingertips restlessly patter on the table top, impatiently waiting for her to deliver her pitch faster.

“Go on Nick, show him.” She urges motioning her hand towards him.

I sigh and pull out my phone from my jean’s back pocket, then scroll to find a picture of Noah’s snapped guitar and hand it to the man.

“Could you fix that? Or know someone who could?” I inquire, already feeling as though the trip was hopeless.

His brows pull together as he inspects the picture then uses two fingers to zoom in on the instrument. “Whoever did this really did a number on it.”

“Yeah.” I mumble, scratching the back of my neck. “So, do you think you could fix it?”

“Hmm.” He hums, pulling down his thick-rimmed glasses down his nose. “I can’t say for sure, you’d have to bring it in.”

Air escapes my throat with another sigh, that’s the last thing I wanted to hear. “Okay. I’ll get it in as soon as I can.” Even though I have no idea how I’ll be able to do that without Noah noticing.

He hands me back my phone, “That’s a really rough break.”

“Trust me, I know. Thanks for looking.” My tone suddenly lacking optimism. “And sorry about…” When I turn to point at Stella, I realize she’s not beside me anymore, now shuffling through the various wooden crates of records. “Her.”

He taps his pen against the counter and glances over at her. “It’s fine. She brings friends in. They buy records. Sales are sales.” He shrugs before going back to whatever he was working on before we interrupted him.

Stella doesn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon so I let myself roam around the shop. The majority of the small store is made up of boxes full of records, a mix of old and new. A small, separated section has various instruments strewn about, most of them looking refurbished. The air is pungent with the smell of sandalwood incense, some kind of chemical-y polish, and stale wood.

“Okay! Ready to go!” Stella calls from behind me and when I turn to her she’s holding a record that I recognize.

“Since when do you listen to Nine Inch Nails?” My brow arches up, seeing as she’s only ever been a Taylor Swift type of girl.

She giggles, “Jolly suggested them.”

I take two fingers and pinch the bridge of my nose with a deep sigh, “Okay, whatever, let’s go.”

Stella and I walk into the house and my ears are immediately unsettled by the sounds that fill the house. They’re giggles, some I recognize to be Noah’s but the other is quite … feminine.

The edges of Stella’s lip curl into a mischievous grin, “Oooooh Noah snuck a girl innnn.” She snickers in a sing-song tone.

“Go to your room Stella.” I order, mostly because her tone irritated me but also because I don’t want her to see what’s behind the cracked door.

She gives me a glare, “You’re just jealous that he’s getting some and you’re not.”

“Go. To. Your. Room.” I repeat sternly through gritted teeth.

“Fine, whatever. Be the party pooper you always are.” She huffs before turning down the hall and slamming the door behind her when gets to her room.

I blink at the doorknob as her words sear into my chest. I question even interrupting until another giggle pierces my eardrums.

I’m precarious with the way I approach the cracked door and peer in. Noah and the girl from the party, Kassidy, next to each other on the bed with open textbooks and notebooks littered about. They’re laughing at something but all I can focus on is her hand on his thigh. An odd twist forms in my abdomen, somewhere between my ribs and my gut. It makes me feel sick, like I ate some gas station sushi.

My knuckle taps on the door and creaks it open. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey Nick!” Noah seems surprised to see me but not necessarily upset by my presence, which for some reason eases the knot in my chest. “I heard a door slam did-”

It’s not until the blonde waves at me with the hand that’s not glued to Noah’s thigh that I realize the anger staining my fingertips.

“Noah, can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask through a fake smile.

“Sure.” He nods, “Be right back, Kass.”

Once the bedroom door clicks behind him, I feel myself begin to unravel.

“Does my mom know you’re bringing girls home?” I question, my voice coming out much harsher than intended.

“No…?” He answers. “I figured I would just do what we always did with each other? Sneak in.”

“Okay well, I don’t appreciate you bringing girls into my room. Please tell me you guys didn’t do anything in my bed.” The words shoot from me, quick and sharp, like acid bullets.

His face falls and I see the light behind his warm eyes dim.

Fuck

I regret the words the second I realize my mistake. Though I suppose on some level, deep down, I knew that the word choice would hurt him, but I said it anyway.

I said it anyway.

I was so upset that I said it anyway.

“No?” He replies sounding a bit offended at the accusation, even though it’s not out of the realm of possibility. “I wouldn’t do that in your bed.”

The impulse to lash back is there, bubbling just under my skin, but I have no reason to be angry. No valid, explainable reason. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Lie.

“Right.” Noah says softly but with a slight edge. “Well, I” He thumbs over his shoulder. “Um, she was just about to leave so.”

“Okay.” I reply quietly, suddenly overwhelmed with an odd mixture of anger and guilt.

While Noah escorts the girl out to say goodbye, I begin tidying up the room. Noah is pretty clean thankfully, so the room itself is clean, but I can’t shake the feeling of something oddly foreign within the four walls. The room suddenly feels so dirty and the taste on my tongue is sour like expired milk. My eyes land on the bed sheets and my stomach feels like I had drank expired milk – maybe 3 whole gallons of it. My mind struggles to account for the food I had eaten today but fails. Surely that is the reason for my abrupt nausea.

Before I can even process my actions, my fingers hungrily latch onto the bed sheets, snapping each fitted corner off the mattress. Heavy textbooks and pens hit the floor with a loud crash.

Despite having just washed them, I’m absolutely positive that they’re filthy.

Maybe they smelled too much like stagnant laundry this morning

Maybe they were making me itchy last night

Maybe I developed an allergy to our detergent

Maybe it’s been too warm and I soaked them in sweat

Or maybe I just want to clean the fucking sheets.

“Oh,” Noah’s gentle voice startles me from the doorway. His eyes trail up from the mess on the floor to the balled-up sheets beneath my palms. “Um, did I accidentally get highlighter on them or something?”

“Nope.” I’m quick to answer. “Just wanna wash ‘em.”

His brows furrow still looking at where my hands keep the shape of the large sphere of material. “Oh. Um, well. I just washed them like 2 or 3 days ago?”

“It’s fine, I just want to wash them again.” I respond shortly.

“Okay… well, let me do it then.” He crosses the space between us going for the sheets but I pull away.

“No. I got them, thanks.” I avoid him by swerving around his thin body and head towards the door.

“Well, what can I do? I could mop again or… reorganize the fridge? Or…” He trails off, not being able to come up with much else.

“No, Noah. It’s Stella’s turn to mop and who the fuck offers to reorganize a fridge?” I snap at him from the doorway, “You don’t need to be cleaning the house 24/7, okay?”

His eyes falter but he nods “Oh, sorry, I um, I just wanna be doing my part. You know… earn my keep and all that? I just… wanna help.”

My face softens and the tight muscles in my shoulders ease. I feel guilt all over again.

I sigh. “I’m sorry – I just - I just had a bad week with school and with the shop and,” I pause. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, okay?”

He nods and the edges of his mouth upturn ever so slightly into a tight-lipped smile. “Okay.” He pauses, fidgeting with his fingers. “Sorry about Kassidy. I should’ve asked.” He says quietly while his eyes drop to his anxious hands.

The tips of my fingers curl into the sheets a bit, a stream of… frustration maybe? shoots through my veins. “It’s okay. I just don’t want my mom to get mad.”

A half lie.

“Right.”

When I turn to leave, he stops me, “Oh – I wanted to ask you something?”

My eyes widen while still turned away from him. A chill rolls up my spine at the realization that we’ve barely spoken since yesterday morning, when his hand was around my cock.

“Um sure, what’s up?” I turn back to him cautiously.

“Well, the fair is in town this weekend, I thought we could go? You know, me, you and Folio?”

I smile at him, relieved it wasn’t about something else. “Sure, sounds fun.”

-Friday Night-

When Folio comes to pick us up, I immediately regret agreeing to carpool. The passenger side door flings open with yet another blonde in the front seat. This one a bit more of a natural, darker blonde and not nearly as bobblehead-like. She looks vaguely familiar, maybe she was one of the wannabe sorority girls from the frat party.

I sigh when I glance over to my busted blue car that’s been acting up every morning since the cold weather’s been getting closer.

The girl smiles wide at us and gets out so we can fold her chair to get to the backseat.

We squeeze our way to the back and naturally, Noah’s mile-long limbs take up most of the room.

The thick distinctive stench of paper-wrapped nicotine coats the cracking plastic of his car doors and the pungent aroma of $10-per-gram weed oozes from the stained beige seats.

Even though Nick brought his ‘friend’, I feel decent about the fair tonight. I mean these are the things we should be doing, right? Going out is what college kids do.

The girl hands back a plastic bottle wrapped in brown paper and Noah hungrily takes it.

“Vodka.” She says simply with a dazed smile.

“Cool.” Noah grins, though I know he’s never tasted pure vodka in his life.

He puts the bottle to his lips and tips it back, immediately scrunching his face in disgust at the taste. If it was just us, I know he would’ve spit it out.

He wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand, “Not bad.” He lies straight through his teeth.

Noah tips the bottle offering it to me. I shake my head and wave it off, “No, I’m good thanks.”

“Oh, c’mooonn Nick, don’t be a wuss.” Noah whines.

“Yeah Nick, loosen up! Have some fun!” Folio perks up from the driver's seat and watches me in the rearview mirror.

The last time he told me to “loosen up”, he ended up floundering in a lake so it hardly has an enticing ring to it.

“No really.” I reaffirm. “Not for me.”

Noah tsk’s and rolls his eyes, “You’re no fun.”

The words hit me square in the chest and my ribs mold around the letters like playdoh.

You’re no fun.

They’re simple words. Logically, I know they’re mostly a joke. Yet, they burn like a lit match colliding with white paper.

You’re no fun.

We’ve been friends for a long time. Long enough to sit in boring silence scrolling on our phones comfortably for hours. But now I’m no fun because I won’t drink out of a foreign bottle?

The searing in my lungs forces my hand to reach and snatch the bottle from him abruptly. I don’t think, I just do. I take the bottle to my lips and tilt my head back with scrunched-closed eyes. I chug, better he did and better than the girl, until the scorching of my throat gets too much.

I shove the bottle back at him, now an extra quarter empty. His face and every other face in the car seem shocked, eyes wide with slightly dropped jaws.

“What?” I hiss and let out a vodka-singed burp. “You told me to have fun.”

Nick’s wheels roll to a halt in the dirt of the fair’s extended parking. The crowded car disperses faster than I anticipated, leaving me alone in the empty car. I stumble out of my seat and precariously steady myself in the dirt to scan the parking lot for the group. The four of them are already ahead of me, nearly halfway to the entrance. Their laughter carries in the wind all the way back over to me.

Once I catch up, I trail behind them quietly. My hands stuffed in my pockets and my Vans kicking up dry dirt, just trying to focus on walking in a straight line.

As we approach the ticketing office, my heart plummets to my stomach when I see two familiar girls standing at the gate waiting for us.

I should’ve known.

“Nicholas, you remember Brooke, right?” Noah grins and gestures to the carbon copy of every other sorority girl on campus.

“Yeah. Hey.”

That’s when I notice the delay in my words and the lag between my fingertips as I wave to her. And as we buy our tickets and make our way into the fair, I catch the warmth all over my skin and the growing numbness in my lips.

I think I’m drunk. Really drunk.

We make a solid lap around the entire park – picking up random snacks here and there, some fried oreos, a shared funnel cake, slushees, and more I can’t even remember. All the fried food mixed with the couple spin-y rides and the alcohol sloshing in my stomach, I was more than ready for an actual meal. I convinced everyone on hotdogs since it’s the cheapest food here and I’d already spent a good chunk of my tip money on ride tickets and overpriced junk food.

When we reach the window of the hotdog stand we’re met with a familiar face.

“Bryan!” Exclaims Folio, excited to see his fraternity mentor.

As always, Bryan looks about as thrilled as a mother of toddler triplets after a candy bender.

“Trout.” He replies unenthusiastically with his monotone cadence matching the deep sleep-deprived purple beneath his eyes.

Normally I would’ve giggled at Folio’s ridiculous nickname but my body was too focused on sustenance.

“Two hotdogs and fries please.” I skip past the rest of the indecisive group.

“We’re out of fries.” He replies flatly.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

He just shrugs, unbothered.

“Fine. Just the hotdogs then.” I huff.

“Coming right up.” He feigns enthusiasm.

The rest of the group place their orders and I can’t help but find amusement in how comical Bryan looks. He’s uniformed in a hotdog themed apron and a silly hotdog visor.

We finally make our way to a painted blue picnic table that sits off to the side away from the busy crowd. I’m grateful for the small respite from the overwhelming, overstimulating chatter.

I fucking hate hotdogs. Usually.

But the minute that meat and bread combo meets my tastebuds, it is as though heaven itself found home in my mouth.

The rest of table fades out as I devour my food and it is only when I’ve finished my 2nd dog that start regaining consciousness. I glance over at the boys who are in the midst of telling some story that’s got all the girls laughing.

My eyes land on Kassidy. She’s giggling at every single thing Noah says and he’s looking at her like she hung the moon.

No matter how tacky or annoying she is, she’s still objectively beautiful – beautiful in a way I could never be.

The way she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, makes me want long blonde hair too. When she bats her fake lashes at him, it makes me wish mine were longer. Her nails adorned with white tips suddenly make my nailbeds feel bare. The foundation caked on her face reminds me of the breakout I have on my cheek and the stubble growing beneath my nostrils. All at once I’m disappointed with every bit of myself that isn’t like her.

A fleeting moment of curiosity passes pondering if this is what it feels like to question your gender. It had never crossed my mind to be anything other than male, nothing else I ever desired. I’ve never felt like I was in the wrong body or anything of the sort – so, I don’t quite think that’s what I’m feeling now.

Maybe I just envy her existence or how confident she is. Maybe I find her attractive? It’d be kinda shitty if I found her attractive, seeing as she’s Noah’s date and I’m here with Brooke. I don’t think it’s that either, since I can barely tolerate either of them.

Perhaps I’m just drunk and confused.

I must just be drunk and confused.

Once the food settles in my tummy, I feel significantly better, a little nauseous still but better nonetheless. My buzz has fizzled, but the tips of my fingers still tingle and words are still hard.

I quietly use a leftover bun to move around a glob of ketchup as entertainment. Noah’s always been the social one, he’s always been the connections, the glue. So, it’s no surprise that he’s captured the attention of the whole table, filling the air with collective drunken giggles. Normally though, he helps nudge me gently into conversations. He helps me not stay silent like I am now. It’s fine though, I don’t have much to contribute since they have all these inside jokes from their study group.

I snap out of my daze when I hear Folio crunch a coke can in his hand as he gets up from the table. There’s an emptiness beside me I hadn’t felt til now – Brooke is gone.

My gaze follows the group as they get up from the table to bring their trash to the overflowing garbage can.

“Where did Brooke go?” I ask to the general conglomerate, most of which pay no mind to me.

“She left to go meet up with some other friends.” Noah replies, his tone suggests that he’s downplaying the situation. I’m sure she wasn’t having fun with a half-drunk silent boy.

‘You’re no fun’ rings in my head from earlier in the car.

2 things I’ve learned from tonight are:

1 – eat hotdogs when drunk.

2 – pretending to be “fun” is really fucking exhausting.

“Oh.” I say quietly, matching their actions by tossing my flimsy paper plate and Dr. Pepper can into the trash.

“We’re heading towards the bigger rides, if you want to come.” He turns and follows the rest of the group through some carnival game tents.

‘If you want to’ I mimic him in my head.

No I don’t fucking want to but I was driven here and I’m stranded.

“Yeah.” I mumble and quickly jog to meet them ahead of me.

The others made their way to the short ferris wheel line after I insisted it was okay to leave me behind. I sure as fuck didn’t want to sit in a pod alone or 3rd wheel on one of their’s.

I watch Noah and Kassidy’s pod reach and stop at the peak of the small ferris wheel, I don’t know why I’m watching but my body is rooted where I stand. Upon it’s a slow descent down, I see it.

His hand cupping her face. Their lips locked.

It’s not a decision I make until their pod locks at the gate and they’re being let out. My foot swivels in the dirt, kicking up dying grass as I try to dip around various family-owned booths for cover. As feared, I hear him calling from behind. I knew I had messed up by making a run for it so late.

“Nicholas!”

His calling only makes my legs move faster – I’m not sure exactly why I’m running or what good it’ll do, just that I need to get as far away from him as possible.

He catches up to me faster than I was prepared for. Fall leaves crunch beneath his worn-out Converse. “Where are you going?” He asks and before I even turn around to see him, I know the look on his face. The same look that I can’t seem to ever say no to – the one that breaks my back just to make me bend to him.

I sigh and turn to him. “Noah, I’m going home.”

“What! Why?”

And there it was. Big, round, puppy dog eyes full of decadent chocolate so sweet it could rot the teeth right out of your skull - paired with pouted lips that demand pity and restitution.

“I’m not having fun. I don’t want to be here.”

“What? You told me you wanted to go to the fair?” He questions with curved eyebrows.

“No. I didn’t. You invited me. You told me that I wanted to go. You tricked me into being on a triple date I didn’t want to be on.” My arm gesturing towards the fair.

“Well, c’mon we can still make it fun! We can just get some more ride tickets and-” He grabs the sleeve of my flannel and tugs at it towards the fair.

I yank my arm back so hard it nearly pulls him back with it, “No you’re not listening to me Noah. I don’t want to be here. Why do you continue to bring me places that you KNOW I won’t like?”

“We’ve been to the fair a million times, Nick.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

“Yeah! With just us! Not with three random fucking girls!” The churning in my chest begins to spit drunken thoughts out without filters.

His brows knit together in confusion. “They’re not random girls Nicholas, and I really thought you’d hit it off with Brooke-”

“Oh my god, why the fuck would you think I’d get along with her? Just because she’s got tits and ass? Sorry, I’m not you, I need a little more than that.” I scoff.

“Well, I-I don’t know just thought you’d want-”

“Augh!” I groan and pace a tiny lap around the grass. “Can you stop assuming you know what I do or don’t want?”

“So, let me get this straight. You don’t want to go to parties, or the fair, or hang out with girls… normal college stuff, you don’t want?”

My heart pounds hard against my eardrums and my fingers burn with frustration. My fists tighten at my sides and my jaw clenches, digging each row of teeth into the other. Molten lava threatens to spill from my throat.

“No, Noah. I guess I don’t want ‘normal college stuff’, I don’t fucking like alcohol and I don’t even know if I like girls!”

My yelled words tumbled from my mouth so easily I didn’t even realize I said anything that odd until Noah’s eyes widen.

I don’t even know if I like girls.

“What?” Noah asks softly and genuinely with his head tilted slightly.

“I-I,” I stumble back, accidentally hitting an oak tree behind me. “I’m- I just need to go home.”

“Nick.” His hands stretch out to grab my arm as I turn to leave but he’s a millisecond too late. “Nick!” He calls after me.

Every bit of adrenaline available in my body propels me forward, past all the booths, all the rides, and through all the neighboring forest. When my feet finally find asphalt, my head feels like a basketball on a player’s fingertip. My eyes widen at a sharp turn in my stomach. I analyze my surroundings in a split second, running towards a lamp post for support. The moment my palm touches the cold metal, I double over and empty the contents of my stomach onto the concrete. The funnel cake, the cotton candy, the fried Oreos, the slushees, and the goddamn fucking hotdogs all found home the sidewalk.

I don’t even know if I like girls.

Why would I say that?

Is that true?

Do I not like girls?

Of course, I like girls.

I wobble over to a bench and sit on the cool wood. The weather’s a lot colder now that the sun has set, and I regret not bringing a proper jacket.

I like girls. I know I like girls. Right?

I mean, I’ve been jerking off to girls… this whole time? So, if I didn’t like girls, why would I do that?

I like girls.

Only.

I like girls.

Right?

I shake my head of the thoughts spinning faster than I can even grasp.

The dim light of the street lamp flickers and it occurs to me that it’s almost 10 pm and I have no idea where I am or how to get home.

Fuck.

Pulling my location up in my Maps app tells me that I’m still fairly close to the fair, which unfortunately means I’m pretty far from home. Tears begin prickling in my eyes and a tight knot forms in my throat.

The weight of the night crashes down onto me all at once.

The “you’re no fun”

The fucking hot dogs

The “she went to meet other friends”

The “if you want to”

The ferris wheel

The “I don’t even know if I like girls”

“Fuck.” My voice cracks as tears take hostage of my cheeks.

My body doubles over, folding in on itself to bury my face in my hands.

I’m drunk, I had a shit night, I left my best friends at the fair and now I’m stranded on some random street.

Even through my own heaving, a brief pang of guilt shoots in my stomach for leaving Noah behind.

He wanted to have a good night, perhaps I ruined it.

In the past, I would’ve stayed feeling guilty because I knew for a fact that if the roles were reversed, he’d come back to find me. But now, I’m not so sure. I don’t think he’d leave Kassidy for anyone or anything.

Not even me.

My palms try to stave off the tears by digging into my eye sockets.

“Fuck, okay. I need to get it together.” I say out loud to myself, letting out a deep exhale. “What the fuck am I gonna do.”

Both of my only friends are still at the fair.

Mom is at work.

So that leaves me with…

Stella.

“Shit.”

I unwillingly pull myself from the bench and begin to pace back and forth taking fast but deep breaths. I ring out my hands out, trying to expel any sort of panic from them. The last thing I need is for her to see me like this.

Finally, once I’ve composed myself, I dig my phone out of my pocket and click her contact name “Snot”.

It rings for a little bit too long and I almost hang up just before she answers.

“Hello?” She asks a little louder than necessary, shortly after I hear a flood of giggles in the background. Her sleepover.

“Hey.” I barely get out without my voice cracking.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asks with concern lacing her voice. There’s the sound of a door closing behind her, shutting out the chatter.

“Oh um-“ My tone pitched up and I feel tears welling up in my eyes again. If the rest of tonight’s events weren’t enough, here I am making a fool out of myself to my little sister. “I forgot about your sleepover. It's fine – I’ll just walk home or something.”

“Walk home? Where are you?”

I swallow the knot in my throat trying to keep my voice level, normal and calm but my pause is long and loud.

“I-I,” My eyes squeeze shut pushing as much of my tears out. “I don’t know.”

“Did you drink?”

The back of my hand roughly wipes my nose. “Yes.”

“Are you with Noah?” Her voice is gentle and kind and reminds me of how our mother would talk to us when we scraped our knees.

I sniffle and my voice threatens to break once more. “No.”

“Okay.” She states as if she just got handed a checklist of effortless tasks. “The girls were just about to go home.” I know that’s a lie. “Drop me a pin and I’ll come get you.”

“Thanks Stell.” I reply quietly.

“Of course.”

It took about 20 minutes for Stella to pick me up in my own car.

My arms wrap around my shivering body and my head rests on the window as I watch the streetlights zoom past us. Her speed is inconsistent, fast in short bursts then slow in long drags. Her stops are jerky and her turns wide. If this was an early Tuesday school morning, she wouldn’t be able to stop my mouth from rambling off critiques. But tonight, opening my mouth seems more dangerous than her driving.

“So. Do you wanna talk about what happened?” She cuts through the silence unapologetically, like opening a crisp can of Coke in a dead, silent room.

I shake my head.

“C’mon. You can’t really expect me to pick you up in the middle of nowhere at midnight without any context?” She patters her fingertips on the steering wheel and glances over at me. “Did something happen with Noah? Did you get into a fight?”

“Something like that.” I mutter.

She squints her eyes and kind of tilts her head to the side. “You guys never fight?”

“Well.” I reply bluntly. “Things change, I guess.” The fabric of the seat cover stretches as I shift. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

The gears spin in her head, I can almost see them. “Weird.” She mumbles under her breath. “Was it about a girl?”

“I said I’m done answering questions.”

“Sheesh, okay.” She says defensively.

Silence fills every empty space in the car. I’m not sure I’ve ever been uncomfortable around my sister before, but I certainly am now. It’s a new feeling, something I want to run and hide from. My knee bounces nervously as my mind cycles through everything that happened tonight. Regardless of anxiety and confusion twisting my organs into pretzels, I fear that if I don’t say what’s chanting in my head right now, I could explode.

“I told Noah that I don’t even know if I like girls.” I blurt out with extreme urgency, as if I didn’t get it out now, I never would.

Her eyes widen a bit but they stay focused on the road. My heart thumps hard against my chest threatening to jump right out.

“Okay.” She says calmly but cautiously. “And why did you say that?”

“I-I don’t know.” I let the weight of my body finally relax and sink into the seat. “You’ve known me my whole life. Do you think that I… might not only like girls?”

She turns to me at a red light and the face she gives me reminds me of when she was 4 and I was 7, when I speculated that Santa might not be real. Without a second thought she replied, “Of course he’s not real, silly.”

Even at 4 years old she was smarter than me.

“I think that might be a question you have to figure out yourself, Nick. I can’t tell you what you do or don’t like.”

I huff, suddenly frustrated that I couldn’t hand off such a complex task onto someone else – that I couldn’t have someone else give me a quick, solid, factual answer.

“I guess you’re right.” I mumble.

She returns her focus to the road and lets out a little sigh. “Do you remember when we were little? And we liked Power Rangers?”

“…Yeah?” I reply confused as to what exactly Power Rangers has to do with my sexuality.

“Well, I remember the first time we watched it - and you thought it was so stupid.”

“No I didn’t? I loved Power Rangers?”

“No.” She corrects me. “At first, when it was just us, you thought it was dumb. But then all your friends started liking it and suddenly you did too. You even wanted to be the red one for the group costume that Halloween, remember?”

“Okay… and? What are you getting at?”

“I can’t tell you what you are or aren’t, Nick. But you’re right - I have known you my whole life. And I know that sometimes you change things about yourself to, I don’t know… not make waves? Not stand out? To fit in? I don’t know your reasoning and I don’t know if that’s what you did with this. But… just something to think about I guess?”

My fingers tap at my knee in thought. I don’t really remember that specific component, only that I had Power Ranger shirts and bedsheets. I remember playing with the figures on the playground with friends and running around the neighborhood with them on Halloween as the Red Ranger. If I was having fun, does it really matter if I didn’t actually like Power Rangers?

“Yeah… I guess it’s something to think about.” I let out a deep sigh. “How’d you get so smart anyway?”

She shoots me a smile, “I learned from the best.”

“Nope, definitely not me. That was all Mom.”

“Who did you think I meant?” She smirks.

“Ha-ha so funny.” I roll my eyes with a toothy grin, finally feeling the tiniest sliver of ease enter my body.

The relaxation slipped from me as quickly as it arrived. “Please don’t um, tell her…or anyone that we talked about this – especially Noah.”

“You got it. I would never.”

I somehow feel relieved yet terrified of what I’ve just divulged to her.

“Do you wanna get donuts from that 24-hour place? And maybe some water for your inevitable hangover?”

“God yes please.” My thumbs rub circles into my throbbing temples. “And a burger please, jesus I need a burger. And fries, I need fries more than air right now.”

“Fiiine, McDonalds too, I guess.”

“Thanks, Stell.” I say soft and genuine.

“Of course, Nick.”

I smile kindly at her. Tomorrow I’ll probably regret everything I said and did tonight but right now, I’m getting junk food with my sister at midnight and the world is quiet. Everything feels okay, even if it only lasts until the end of my Mcdonald’s.

I wave Stella goodnight as she walks into her room. With a twist of my doorknob, I open my door and my feet halt in their tracks. My swollen eyes widen at the last thing I expected to be in my room.

“What are you doing here?” I question before I can even really gauge my own reaction.

Noah sits on the edge of the bed still in the same outfit from the fair.

“I went looking for you.” His brown eyes find mine and it makes my chest ache the same way it did earlier on the bench.

“You did?” My square shoulders soften briefly before straightening back up again. “And why would you do that?” I snap at him.

The space between his brows burrows slightly, seemingly confused by my harsh response. “Well, I-I,” He presses his lips together while his fingers pick at his nails. “I was worried about you.”

My eyes dart down to the carpet and try to ignore the way my heart swells at his words. I swallow hard and curl my fists at my sides. “Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m fine.”

“Oh okay…” He trails off and lets his gaze drop to his fiddling hands and bouncy leg. “I just wanted to make sure, I guess.”

“Okay well, you’ve made sure. Now I really just wanna go to bed, if that’s okay with you.” I cross all of the two feet from the doorway to my dresser and forcefully yank the top drawer open.

He carefully lifts from the bed and meets me where I dig for clothes. “Nicholas.” His voice is gentle and full of concern, but no matter how much it should comfort me it just fans the flames of my resentment.

“What now, Noah.” I sigh harshly and turn to him.

“What did you mean at the fair?”

After the food adventures I had with Stella, it had almost erased what I had said from my memory. Too bad it couldn’t have done that to him too. I was really banking on him being too drunk to even remember. But I should know better than that – Noah and his very selective memory.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feign confidence and turn back away from him to focus on finding PJs. My chest and limbs fill with a feeling similar to sitting in the waiting room of a principal’s office. Suddenly, I’m small and the room triples in size while the oxygen rapidly depletes.

“You know what I’m talking about Nick.” His fingers gently grab my arm to turn my attention to him again. “Do you… not like girls? Do you think you’re-”

“Gah! No!” I all but spit out. The thought of what he was about to say makes me want to vomit all over again. “No, I’m not…that.”

“O-oh, okay…but if you were, you know you could tell me, right? You know you can tell me anything, like we’ve always done.” His voice is quiet and tender, even through the vodka I can still smell on his breath.

“Oh my god Noah.” I grasp at the air in frustration. “No. I just said it to, to throw you off. So you’d let me go, so you’d leave me the fuck alone.”

“Oh.” His hand slips from my arm and he takes a step away from me.

If this was any other night, after any other event, I would apologize, minimize it, and say that I’m just having a bad night. But it’s not any other night and I don’t have enough energy in my entire body to make more excuses.

My fingers dig into the bundle of PJs I hold, and my stare stays straight on his chest. “I just, want to take a shower and go to bed. Okay?”

“Right.” He sucks his teeth and nods. “Okay, enjoy your shower then.”

“I will, thanks.” I reply blandly, shoving the overflowing drawer closed.

The world seems much lighter now that the thick layer of carnival muck, the remnants of alcohol and vomit were washed down the drain. I scrunch my hair with a terry cloth towel while I walk to my room from the shower.

I’m confused to find my door cracked open with the big light still shining through the door. I spent almost an hour trying to get all the grime off and let the water ease the pulsing in my head. Surely, Noah wouldn’t still be up, it’s almost 3 am.

I quietly creak the door open to find the bed empty.

“Huh?” I whisper to myself and make my way over to the disheveled bed. Noah’s nowhere to be found, but instead there’s a plushy on his pillow. I hook my finger through the plastic carabiner attached to it and lift it to my eyeline. It’s a stuffed tuxedo cat with sunglasses that look similar to the knockoff RayBans I usually wear.

I look back at the pillow and notice there was a note beneath it. I pick it up and unfold it with the cat dangling on my pinky.

‘Saw this at the fair and thought of you.

Went to stay over at Kassidy’s so, you can have your room back for the night.

-N’

The breath that escapes from deep in my torso seems to deflate me completely. I knew the slip of up of my words the other day hurt him, more than I thought. A vine of thorns wraps around my throat, each guilt-drenched spike digs into my windpipe. He left because of me.

I take a precarious seat on the edge of the bed, holding each item in each hand. My palm aches to crush the note in my fingers but my eyes burn with salty tears too. All while the cat swells my chest in the saddest way possible. How could someone feel so many things at once?

I have no screams, no yells, no sobs left in me and my body begs for rest. I can’t let myself wallow in whatever this is, how could I make sense of it now? When my brain is so hazy and my eyes are so sleepy.

I use the back of my hand to wipe away the tiny bit of tears left in my eyes and set the note and the stuffed kitty on my bedside table. The bed creaks when I bury my knee into the mattress and let myself fall to the middle.

The bed feels colder and emptier without him in it, but right now I’m not sure this is where I want him to be.

I reach up to tug the lamp light off and pull the duvet around my shivering body.

After about 20 mins of stirring with no hope of falling asleep, I give in and just stare into the stillness of the room. My eyes finally adjust to the darkness and start making a sort of mental inventory list counting all of the items scattered around my room that aren’t mine. I try to remember what the room looked like before he moved in, but I can’t.

While there are growing pains, I can’t imagine my room without him in it anymore. He’s tangled himself into the very essence of the space.

Drawing my gaze across the room, I land on the kitty he’d gotten for me at the fair. I reach across the space and bring it to the bed, placing it in his spot.

It fills a tiny void in the vast emptiness of the bed and for about 15 minutes I cling to the minor comfort it brings, believing it might help me fall asleep.

I let out a frustrated sigh. The heaviness of the night drops onto my shoulder blades and finds refuge beneath my eyes. Once again a venomous coil tightens itself around my ribs.

It is mostly confusion that I feel, the only factor I can distinctly pick out.

The only other one I can somewhat recognize is, loneliness.

I glance back over to the cat and it dawns on me the possible reason I can't fall asleep. My fingertips tap rhythmically against the mattress cycling through my options until I find one.

I wrap my thick duvet around my body and grab my pillow before shuffling down the hall. I gently tap my knuckle against her door then crack it open just a bit.

“Stella.” I whisper-yell into her room. “Stella.”

She shifts in her bed and cracks one eye open at me. “Hm?” She groans sleepily.

I let myself in and scuffle across the carpet to her bedside. “Can I sleep on your floor?” I request in a hush.

“What? Why?” Her brows knit together with her eyes barely open. “What’s wrong with your bed?”

I chew on my bottom lip searching my brain for an answer that makes any sense but there’s only one.

“It’s empty.”

tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @concretenoah @kingdomof-omens @the-hell-i-overcame @blackveilomens @xxrainstorm [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]

Thank you for the support on this series and on my other series, Virality. I appreciate it more than you know. I love reading your comments and asks. I am incredibly grateful for them, thank you.

#i have edited this so many times and it got so long #sorry if there’s errors or is bad idk 😭#im honestly just really sick of editing and looking at it #longest chapter i’ve ever written for any of my series-es ever #as always lots of plot lots of dialogue #concreteburialplot works #intertwined series #nicholas ruffilo fanfic #nicholas ruffilo fic #nick ruffilo fanfiction #noah x nick #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo #nicholas ruffilo smut #noah x nicholas #noah x nicholas fanfic #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic

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luffy-addict-author · 1 year

Note

I noticed you write NSFW for smut, would you buy any chance be comfortable doing anything NSFW for Usopp? It's very hard to find 😅 If not that's totally fine. I hope youre having a good day!

A/n: I know how you feel🤭 but yk, I hope you enjoy<3

-Usopp NSFW-

FT: Usopp -MINORS|DON'T|INTERACT

"Oh my- dang." You blutter out, shamelessly viewing your beloved coming out of the shower. Usopp startles but covers his face with one of his hand, blushing absently.

"Stop speaking nonsense." He stutters.

You ignore him, jaw hanging open as your eyes travel lower, so glad the both of you are in your room alone, free to ogle his tan coloured chest, tracing along his well built abs and going lower. Unfortunately, though you can see his v-line perfectly -heaven's view- what you really want to see is hidden under the towel that's wrapped around his hips.

"I think I am gonna arch just looking at you." You utter, not realizing your feet stepping closer to his form, peering at him with heavy lids, finding it so amusing each time he flushes at your words.

They are equally true and equally a tease.

This time, his hair is down, water dripping from the ends, some falling off while some stick to the side of his waist, sliding lower only to be soaked by the white clothing.

"Heyhey. You wouldn't mind if we have a little fun."

"Huh?! Y/n- what if they hear-"

Your palm is already running slowly up his chest, feeling his dark skin under your pads, his stomach moving with his gulp as his mouth shuts up at your first touch.

You smirk. "I want you."

As much as Usopp feels his heart stop, only to be thumping against his chest louder, he truly feels as though you are a satin from the hell. I mean- just how many times you had wanted to go down with Him? Apparently not enough for you but it leaves him a blushing mess, not sure what to say.

That was in the beginning. Now, your presence has influenced him too much.

"This is exactly why Nami is always angry." He mutters but his own lips crashes on yours in a flash, a pleased sound escaping you at the first taste of his warm mouth.

You tilt your head across from him, making your lips connect more securely and kissing him deeper, fingers tangling in his ruffled hair, palms then rubbing his steady shoulders. You stumble him back with a force, directly inside the bathe room and closing it shut with the pressure of your back.

Usopp moans, his muscular arms going around your waist, pulling you more on his chest, only for you to break apart with a loud gasp, making his mouth audibly let out a short deep cry.

You laugh at him, hands going so much lower, breath sucking in when you fiddle with the knot he tied, easily able to get it out though you kept it hanging with your Fingers.

"How do you wanna do it?"

"Ride me." He breathes out.

Your entire world freezes, half a second at his own vocal cord before you are swallowing, nodding urgently and letting the towel drop on the floor.

Usopp only lets out a small gasp, just before you are sucking on his neck, gently licking at first before biting sharply, Causing his ears to heat up.

His arms go around your hips as soon as your hand wraps firmly around his cock, loving the warm feeling of it inside your palm.

His skin is hotter now, sweat rolling of his neck, only to be met with your tongue along with your intentional moans.

Leaving a dark shade of spot behind, your lips apart, hands pushing him by the shoulders, leaving him to be flush against the wall, then sliding down on the floor to sit, bringing you down as soon as you undress yourself.

This time, you blush as he takes you in, meeting his flushed face with yours. "You are...breathtaking." He says, brushing a lock of your hair back, then swiping a thumb on your lips.

Blushing hotter in your veins, your lips close around his thumb before he retreats, replying his praising with few sucks of your mouth.

Usopp's Breath shakes, his other hand supporting you while you begin to sit on one of his thighs, leaning closer to rub your core against his length.

He groans, head falling back softly while you are panting, supporting your upper half with hands on his shoulders, rubbing yourself on him to feel every bit of pleasure friction.

"Not going to lie, I wanted to suck you off." You reasonably say, lips turned upwards when he freezes, only to be left moaning, not sure at your movements or your words.

"Fuck- I wanna go in." You quietly whine out, looking at him desperately.

Usopp groans once before closing his eyes, a hand going under his hips to grasp his dick. You shift yourself forward, making it easier for him to slide in, pushing past your hole.

"Oh-" you bite your lip at the first sense of his tip meeting your entrance then bracing yourself as he pushed himself deeper, strength slowly leaving him as you tighten around him.

Usopp curses under his breath, mouth leaning forward to get a hold of your bouncing breasts, muffling his sounds. You cry out, his dick twitching at the noise, mouth sucking on your hardened bud slowly but leaving visible marks.

"Ugh- can i go faster, baby?" You wail out, head dizzy and confused as to focus on his cock or his mouth.

He pulls his lips away, gazing at you heavily before engulfing your lips with his. "Yeayea- please." He struggles out, mouth brushing over yours while both your tongue dances in a fighting manner, casually touching or panting.

Before you know it, you are groaning as you heavy yourself up and down, bouncing on his thick sex, letting out whimpers when he hits your spots.

"Goodgod- i am gonna lose my mind- you feel so good." You are not in control of your words anymore, tongue running on it's own, drunk on the taste of his mouth.

He stutters out your name in a cracked moan, feeling you gasp, palm slapping on your mouth, eyes rolling back as cum down his shaft, letting it leak along his veins, dripping to the floor.

“Fuck.” You groan out, clutching what you find of him tighter.

Your mouth results in panting with him, your lips occupied with pleasure moans or his mouth. Tempted to run your tongue, you bite on his shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut as your stomach cramps in pain.

“Wait. Wait-.” You huff out, stopping him by pausing in your movements, groaning loudly at his cock throbbing non stop inside of you. Your own clit pulses, covered in your slick.

Usopp immediately freezes, sucking in a sharp breath as he waits for your concern. You gulp, swallowing down your lust and pulling him out with a loud cry, slumping against him.

Skin flushed, you hide your face in the junction of his neck, skin hot and embarrassed. “Sorry- I just, should have listened to chopper.” You gently massage the side of your waist. “It hurts.”

Your lover regains his breath, though peering at you in concern. Gratefully, his warm hands replace yours, so much better when he starts to run up and down comfortably. Despite yourself, you make a pleased sound.

“Should I get you to chopper?” He asks.

You giggle, huffing out a chuckle. “Naked?”

Usopp only holds you more firmly, shaking his head, ignoring the color on his face.

“Ok ok i will stop. And no, it’s fine, not too serious.” You prop yourself back up to stand, almost falling on him again when your thighs shake and tremble at the act but it’s good. You steadied yourself.

“You sure?” You hum at his worry, offering him a hand while giving him a wink, indicating your eyes between his thighs. “Shall we go to the shower again?”

He doesn’t even have to look down, blushing fiercely. “I thought you are going to stop!”

You grin, wickedness growing. “I did? Oh well- we still need to go to the shower though. Unless you wanna walk around like that…i don’t mind you kn-“

“Y/n!”

You throw your head back, cackling wildly.

————————

#one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece scenario #one piece x y/n #one piece x reader #straw hat usopp #sniper king usopp #usoppgodofsnipers #usopp smut #usopp x you #usopp op #usopp headcanons #strawhats #usopp x y/n #usopp x reader #god usopp #First time writing him<3 #absolute adorable #Usopp x reader

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daffi-990 · 4 months

Text

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the incredibly talented @thewolvesof1998 ❤️

Had some writing beans this morning and managed to pump out something before my kids tracked me down 😅.

This snippet is from I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away) which is the second fic from the Daylight series and from Eddie’s POV. I actually really like this snippet and hopefully you all do too 🥺

A laugh bubbles out of him, one of pure joy at seeing his kid so excited. It’s like Christmas morning but without the small feeling of loss that still lingers for the both of them.

God, Shannon would’ve been asking Buck for guitar lessons too. She loved learning new things, signing up for as many clubs as possible in high school. Granted she wasn’t very good at a lot of the new hobbies she took up, but that didn’t stop her entusiasmn. Eddie fondly remembers the time she convinced him to sign up for dance lessons with her. It hadn’t taken much to convince him to be honest, the promise of holding her in his arms as they laughed and stepped on each other’s feet was more than enough.

It’s been six years since they lost her and most of the time they’re okay. They weren’t for a while, both of them feeling so lost and adrift without her in their lives. But Hartlan had helped heal them, the people here soon becoming his support system, his family. Bobby with his shared history of loss, Athena with her open arms and open heart, the Wilson’s with their wine nights, Chim with his loyalty and quick wit and Carla with her bright smile and warm hugs.

Looking at the way Christopher now has his arms wrapped around Buck in a hug, maybe Buck will become a part of that system too. Maybe Eddie and Chris could be the first people Buck adds to his own.

No pressure tagging: @fortheloveofbuddie @watchyourbuck @jamespearce9-1-1 @exhuastedpigeon @callmenewbie @devirnis @hippolotamus @hoodie-buck @wikiangela @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @malewifediaz @monsterrae1 @athenagranted @shitouttabuck @steadfastsaturnsrings @rainbow-nerdss @the-likesofus @try-set-me-on-fire @giddyupbuck @fiona-fififi @disasterbuckdiaz @captain-hen @lover-of-mine @loserdiaz @honestlydarkprincess @ladydorian05 @homerforsure @rewritetheending @wildlife4life @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @nmcggg and as always, anyone else who wants to share something 💕

#fic: I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you (I can never look away)#daffi writes #buddie wip #daylight series #buddie #oh and happy new years eve 🤩

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kittyyeo · 4 months

Note

Hmmmm how about vampire hwa trying so hard not to feed on reader (because he just doesn't wanna lose control and hurt you 🤪) but reader begs him to just give in to his temptations. Yes it's very cliche but something about it drives me crazy.

If this is dumb please disregard this lmao I am not good at giving requests/inspo🥲😅😂

[MDNI]

((not proofread, sorry!! also sorry it took me so long help))

damn ok oKAY imagine vampire!seonghwa sitting on the big fancy couch in the huge, elegant living room of his mansion. He invites you to sit on his lap, his hands swiftly reaching for yours to intertwine your fingers together. Your body relaxes thanks to his delicate caresses and you let his lips meet yours in a quick, passionate kiss, before you noticed something was actually bothering him.

Your finger traces various lines and shapes on his arm before you cupped his face in your hands, somehow forcing his red, dark eyes to meet with yours.

-Seonghwa… is everything alright? - your voice reaches his ears in a low whisper filled with worry, to which you noticed his eyes imperceptibly widen for a moment. His hand rested gently on your cheek, his thumb lightly brushing against your soft skin.

-My love, everything's totally fine. - he tried to reassure you, but by doing so you only ended up more worried.

Your hand slowly moved towards his lips. Your finger brushed against his bottom lip: your half-lidded eyes were completely focused on his plump, rosy lips. You can feel his lips slowly parting and your finger being licked, his warm tongue carefully caressing it.

You noticed his cheeks tinted in a rosy tone, something you weren't really used to, but as you grew to know him more, you understood it meant he was… thirsty.

-Do you need blood? - you ask, suddenly. His tongue stops, but he doesn't let go of your finger. His eyes were drowning in your gaze, it felt as if he was apologising— his pink, soft hair was gently caressing his face, and you slowly moved a lock behind his ear before you continued.

-Then bite me. - you mumble, your lips so close to his cheek, he could feel the softness and warmth of your mouth against his pale, cold skin.

He shakes his head, your finger still held in between his lips. You sigh and look at him, nearly scolding him through your gaze.

-I don't want to hurt you…

-It won't hurt, Seonghwa. Don't worry

-Still… - it was often so hard to convince him to do something, but you nearly felt ashamed of feeling turned on because of the view right in front of you: Seonghwa, with rosy cheeks, his pink hair is a mess his hand is on your cheek, his waist was covered in a black corset and his neck adorned with jewellery. The sight of his pointy fangs dangerously close to your finger was the last drop: not even noticing your own actions, your hips start moving on their own, brushing against his clothed crotch, to which he slightly bit your finger in response, but not enough to have blood. But it was a different pressure that you felt right away so you couldn't help but let a little moan escape your lips.

-Please drink… - you invite him, once again, while you couldn't even control your hips anymore.

-Hwa… Seonghwa….please…

-I don't want to hurt you, love. - he murmurs, his hands now on your hips as he tries to somehow slow down your movements. You didn't want to listen to him; he needed to drink some blood but he was refusing to drink yours.

-Just this once. - you whimper and he sighs, his clothed length being harder and harder to deal with.

He wanted blood, he needed blood. But the thought of hurting you was haunting him. Yet you were desperately inviting him.

Suddenly your hiss echoes in the wide, empty living room, halting your movements.

You felt dizzy for a second: Seonghwa made a little cut on your finger to get some blood. But that wasn't enough for you and it wasn't enough for him either. After he drank a few drops, you let your hand rest on his cheek, gently offering your neck to him.

-Here, please. - you point at your neck, your voice leaving your parted lips in a whine.

-Love… - Seonghwa's voice reaches your ears in a soft whisper. His hands are gently resting on your hips as he keeps your body closer to his, his eyes softening at the warmth your presence radiates.

Your eyes quickly drown in his, exchanging a silent glance before his pale, plump lips gently met yours in a slow kiss: your hands found their place around his shoulders, your fingers tightly gripping at the soft material of his white shirt. His wet tongue traced delicately a line on your neck before suddenly biting, his pointy teeth sinking in your sweet, soft skin.

You closed your eyes shut, a loud moan leaving your mouth as you abandoned yourself to that little sting he gave you. He squeezed his eyes closed, his hands gently holding your waist as he slowly started to suck your sweet, honey-like blood.

He loved every single drop of it and he hates to admit he wished he wouldn't stop. The moment he felt like it was too much, he slowly let his lips leave your precious neck and he started to lick the light scars he left.

#ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #ateez x reader #kpop smut #seonghwa hard thoughts #seonghwa smut #y chats #>>seonghwasbobaeyes<<#OOOF SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONGSJFHJSJFJS.#vampire!seonghwa

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ddejavvu · 1 year

Note

Selectively mute puppy hybrid reader saying something to Steve and Puppy!Eddie for the first time!

Throughout the entire adoption process, you never uttered a word.The hybrid shelter explained that you went selectively mute a few weeks into being dropped off there and never understood why.Steve didn’t press you to talk to him,it was quite obvious that you were still very excited to be going with him,even if you didn’t express it verbally.Puppy!Eddie just about tackled you in a hug the minute you got home,asking you a million questions.You just kinda helplessly looked at Steve to which he explained to Eddie that she wasn’t much of a talker,but she’s still very excited to be here.Eddie was a little confused and thought Steve might have been lying to make him feel better.That is until you licked his cheek in greeting with a giddy smile and wagging tail.

Almost a month in and you still haven’t talked,but the three of you were thick as thieves nevertheless.Kisses,ear scratches,and big cuddle piles were the norm in this household.One day,Steve actually had to go in for work instead of working from home like he usually did.Eddie was obviously going to miss his favorite guy,but you were a lot more anxious about it.They both soothed you and told that he’d be back before you know it.You spent the next few hours playing with Eddie and taking naps to pass the time.When Steve finally pulled up in the late afternoon,you were just so excited!!You shook Eddie awake then you both ran downstairs to the door.Steve greeted you both with a “Hi babies” and you jumped into his arms,holding on sooo tight!

“Missed you so much!” You said,voice a little raspy from not being used for so long.Steve gasped and looked up at Eddie who was just as surprised,tail wagging and hands happy stimming.You actually talked quite a bit from then on,eventually explaining to them that you went mute because one of the other hybrids at the shelter told you that you talked too much :((( Steve and Eddie made sure to get you to talk as much as they possibly could from there on.

Sorry,I got a little carried away 😅

i adore puppy!reader she is so me :(((

you're just quiet!! honestly at first steve thinks you're mute, he doesn't realize that you're just refraining from speaking. he's fine with it, too, he's not going to dump you on the side of the road just because you won't chat with him. you seem friendly and happy though, all tail wags and butting your head against his hand for more ear scratches and crawling into his lap all wiggly and happy, so he trusts that he doesn't need verbal confirmation!! you wanna go home with him so bad :')

and yes eddie's so nervous at first :(( he really thinks you're just freaked out by him or that you don't like him!! he really wants you to like him, so when steve tells him you're just quiet, he's hoping that it's not just a consolation. but then you snuggle your face into his shoulder and lick up his cheek and he's so happy!!! he 100% becomes your voice before you speak around them, it's like he can read your mind. he'll drag you up to steve with your hand clasped in his and go 'she wants a snack. turkey sandwich.' and steve's like ?? how do you know ?? and he just knows.

they've definitely gotten some noises out of you!! a huff here and there, a relaxed sigh as steve scratches at your ears, a snore that you'll be teased about for the rest of your life.. but no words!! they're patient, though, they don't even think it'll happen so they're not pressuring you. but you have a really hard time letting steve go, it's the first time he won't be there, and even though eddie will, steve feels safer. what if someone came to the door and tried to kidnap you and eddie? steve won't be there to help. what if something happens to steve at work?? he won't come back :( you're just a little bundle of nerves and steve feels sosososo bad that he has to leave, but it's inevitable!!! after lots and lots of forehead kisses and cheek cupping and ear scratching and hair brushing and back rubbing he waves goodbye to you, and eddie acts as your personal stress toy for the day. he's always there if you want a cuddle, or if you need to cry a little bit into his chest he'll soothe you :')) he's been alone before but you're so nervous that it's making him sad and he just wants steve to be home!!

ohhh yes steve gets the greeting of his life :(( sooo many kisses, wagging tails, it's a big freakout!! but when you bust out your first sentence that either of them have ever heard you say he's floored, he almost drops you. eddie's practically vibrating with excitement as he joins in your hug, the two of them smothering you in congratulatory kisses and hugs and love :')) and yes omg they reassure you that you could never talk too much!! and they're sooo insistent on you saying everything now, steve pretends he doesn't know what cereal you're pointing at just to hear your pretty voice say 'reese's puffs, please' and then he pours you a big sugary bowl with a sweet smile on his face :'))

#hybrid au #let's talk about puppy!eddie !!#let's talk about hybrid!reader !!#dog hybrid!eddie #dog hybrid!reader #puppy!eddie #puppy!reader #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader

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sublimecatgalaxy · 2 years

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let’s try this again😅 negan is negan; a big, loud-mouthed, cocky bastard, but as soon as reader comes into his line of view, he’s putty in her hands. i’m talking hanging onto her every word, punishing anyone who looks at her for longer than three seconds, completely obsessed with her.

honestly whatever you want to do with this is fine, i just wanna imagine being fawned over for a little while 😌

LOOOOOVE THIS. This is a little bit of a jump in time from where you're at right now but I kept it as vague as possible!

"So, when did you meet him?" Michonne asks, her voice wavering a bit as I shift anxiously in my seat, not completely comfortable that I have to talk about Negan to his enemies.

"His men found me in the woods when he was in charge of the Sanctuary." I respond simply, biting anxiously at the inside of my cheek as my frown deepens, watching Michonne turn to look back at Rick.

"And what was your first impression?"

"Well, well, well!" A man cheers, appearing beside me, swinging his bat in front of him and the room quiets. I fidget in my seat, my mouth drying as I look up at him with wide eyes. "What might your name be?" He asks, kneeling down in front of me, his eyes softening.

"Y/n." I mutter, clearing my throat with a shiver. He nods slowly, turning back to the men behind him.

"Someone get my friend Y/n here some clothes and some food." He grins, his eyes never leaving mine for one second as I feel my heart rate begin to decline, my fear dissipating as he offers me a hand. "Let me show you around, how 'bout that?"

"You're telling me he was kind to you?" Rick asks, his brows furrowed in complete and utter disbelief.

"He welcomed me into the Sanctuary with no issues. He saw to it that I was settled and knew my way around." I explain, eyes darting back and forth between Rick and Michonne as the chains around my ankle clang against the table in front of me.

"What did you do there? What was your role?"

"Lovely day today, huh?" I ask Negan as I approach him from behind, his head craning to peer over his shoulder at me. A soft grin spreads across his face as he quickly shoos the other men away from him, ending their conversation abruptly.

"Even better now that you're here." He flirts, my eyes rolling bashfully. "What can I do for you, sweetheart?" He asks and my feet shuffle against the gravel beneath me as I try desperately to ignore the walkers set up along the fence.

"I had an issue when I was trying to sell some bread I made-"

"How about this, give me the names of the people who keep bugging you and I'll make sure they don't do shit to you anymore." He offers, not bothering to hear the rest of the story, alleviating some of the pressure weighing down on me.

"He helped me fit in. He was nothing but kind to me- I know that he wasn't always kind to everyone though." I mutter, worried that they would think poorly of me simply based off of my close association with Negan, a man they hated so much but for good reason. "I know what he did to your friends. I'm truly sorry for your losses." Rick's face drops as he lowers his gaze to the ground, Michonne clearing her throat as she gets back on topic.

"Did he ever hurt you? Did you ever see him hurt someone else?"

"You say sorry to her right now or I swear to god, your face is going to look like Dwighty boys here but I will not stop until your whole face looks like goddamn leather!" Negan yells, pressing my harassers face into the metal table in front of us. I clutch the side of my face that he hit just moments ago, right after calling me 'Negans bitch'.

"I'm sorry- I'm really sorry, Negan-"

"No!" Negan yells, causing me to jump beside him, his eyes flickering over to me briefly. "Sorry sweetheart- I just have to get the point across that no one- and I mean no one- can talk to you like that without suffering the very severe consequences that Lucille and I have to offer!"

"Only a few times. When men would get too close to me, when they'd threaten me, flirt with me." I explain shakily, wanting so deserpately to go to wherever they have Negan hidden away, to make sure that he's alright and that- even though they had every right to kill him- he was safe and shown mercy.

"Why?" Michonne asks once more, her eyes softening as she reaches out to take my hand and it's now that I realize there are hot tears trailing down my cheeks, the separation from the only friend I've had in so long taking a deep toll on me as I choke out.

"He was the only one in that whole place who spoke to me, actually listened to me."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy

@steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets@haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @minjix @luvrosee @storytellingwitht @savageneversaw @admiringlove @starlightandfairies

#negan #negan x reader #negan smith #negan smith x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead fic

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every-aj-needs-an-angel · 8 months

Text

Chapter 10!! Hitting roughly 50k of this daft little story 🤯 You're all amazing for sticking with this for so long and I'm so grateful to anyone who's taken the time to read it!! I've spent more screen time on this story than I ever did for my coursework (which is probably why I flunked my A levels 😅) and the big date scene felt like a massive pressure until I actually started writing it I just hope I've done it justice 🤞

Betting It All On Love

The crowds had left the stadium as fast as they’d arrived, and all at once the empty space was deafening. Both couples had moved off the balcony and were leaning against the bar while Chrissy chatted animatedly with Eddie; something about waiting for Beth, but Steve couldn’t really hear her over the ringing in his ears.

Robin glanced casually over to him, did a double take and quickly dragged him out into the corridor yelling, “We’ll be back in a minute!” over her shoulder, tugging him down the corridor and all but hurling him into the gents, and it was only when Steve registered how sticky the tiles were under his feet that he realised he was still holding onto his SuperEl shirt.

As he lifted it into the air to keep it away from whatever gruesome substance was making the floor sticky, he noticed he’d ruined the collar. It was all bent out of shape and screwed up where he’d anxiously run it through his fingers throughout the evening. And finally there was something good to come out of being paraded around by his parents whenever there was a family event, even if it only was how to fix a wardrobe malfunction in a pinch.

Steve tutted and dragged Robin back out into the corridor, heading down towards the ladies, knowing full well that not only would they be cleaner but much more likely to actually have working facilities; Robin checked the coast was clear and then waved Steve in. He headed straight to the sink to run the collar of his shirt under the tap and gently smoothing it out, while she asked him for the fourth time what was wrong.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he huffed.

“Might wanna tell your face that!” she snarked, and when he glanced at himself in the mirror he could see she wasn't wrong, and spent a second purposefully trying to smooth out the furrow in his brow. Robin sighed heavily, rubbing her hand over his shoulders, “He brought the shirt. Why aren’t you happy?”

Steve sighed, physically relaxing his posture, “I am happy,” he squeaked, looking at Robin through the mirror so he didn't have to feel so awful about lying to her face. Robin's disbelief was written all over her raised eyebrow and Steve was quick to concede “I’m just nervous, alright?”

Robin nodded in understanding as he stepped over to the hand dryer and when she didn't push further, he turned it on to start drying his collar back into the right shape. Robin stepped closer to take the garment from him, gesturing for him to start removing his shirt; swapping the paisley shirt for his striped one when the collar was finally straight and dry, absently watching him as he finished buttoning it up.

“If it helps, I don't think you’ve got anything to worry about,” she mumbled encouragingly, dusting a bit of something off his shoulder and straightening the way the shirt was sitting.

Steve nodded and tried to smile, but it felt flat, “Thanks Bobs,” he muttered, tugging her into his chest and kissing the top of her head, “Will you be okay? Getting home or whatever, I don't want to ditch you, I can go another—”

Robin snorted and poked him hard in the chest, successfully interrupting him, “One. You are absolutely going on this date. Two. I’ll be with Chris, and we’ll be fine,” she stated, pulling back to take him by the hand and drag him back to the box.

Beth, hair now up in a pony and dressed in pale blue sweats and another woman, tall with bottle blonde pigtails wearing a pink summer dress, who as it turned out was Beth’s wife, Stacey, were already waiting with Eddie and Chrissy.

There was a lot of excitement as introductions were made, hugs and kisses and exclamations of “Oh, you’re gorgeous!” aimed at both him and Robin by Stacey and Beth respectively. They didn't get to chat more than that, as he and Eddie were ushered quickly out of the door, Stacey handing Eddie a card with their address and phone number on it, before basically shutting the door in their faces with a quick “Byeee!” peels of girlish glee slipping under the gap in the door.

Steve stood there for a second staring dumbly at the wood now separating him from his best friend, until Eddie took his hand and tugged on it gently urging him down the corridor. Apparently it had already been decided that they were to go on their date, and the girls were going to Beth and Stacey’s to have dinner, so the two old friends could reminisce and catch up and so Robin and Stacey could lament over becoming jock wives.

The night air was cool in comparison to the heat of the stadium and when Steve shuddered bodily as a gentle breeze tickled his skin, Eddie immediately pulled him towards one of the taxi’s waiting outside the stadium. Eddie gallantly holding the door open for Steve, clambering smoothly in after him. He reeled off an address for the driver, then settled back into the backseat, staring quietly out of the window the whole way to the restaurant.

It didn't take long to arrive. Honestly, it probably would’ve been faster to walk, and Steve couldn't tell whether he'd picked the taxi because he'd been cold or because Eddie was eager to arrive. Either way, it was obvious just how nervous he was as he drummed intermittent beats against himself with his fingers. Steve just had to focus on staying positive, holding out hope that Eddie’s nerves were due to anticipation and not desperation to get the evening over and done with.

The restaurant was Italian, which Steve loved, mainly because it was his favourite. He wanted to ask Eddie if he’d asked for Robin’s help in picking a place, or if he’d happened to mention it in passing and Eddie had remembered; or if Eddie had picked it at random. Or if maybe Italian was Eddie’s favourite too, but they had to wait with three other couples for their table and Eddie seemed like he was about to burst out of his own skin with the slightest provocation, so Steve took the opportunity to take in his surrounding instead.

The building was beautiful, either old, or decorated to look like it was, with period features and dark polished woods. Deep reds and greens in the furnishing and old paintings with carved frames hanging from the walls. It seemed nice, really nice, not in the posh and pretentious way, but in that beautiful but homely way that meant the food was likely to be delicious, and the portions were unlikely to be stingy. Ferns, candles and fairy lights gave it a private romantic feel, and even though it was busy it was quiet enough to actually hear each other talk without feeling like the whole restaurant was listening to your conversation.

It didn’t take too long to get seated, which seemed to help ease Eddie’s nerves, and even though the menu, which practically had Steve salivating, had helped them create a playful little back and forth as they decided what they were going to order; as soon as they had ordered, things got really awkward, really fast.

Steve wasn't like Robin who rabbited terribly when she was nervous, his mind tended to go blank, and then he’d spend way too long in his own head trying desperately to think of something to say. And unfortunately, Eddie seemed to suffered with the same problem.

Eddie cleared his throat, “So...” he trailed off, trying and failing at thinking of something to talk about.

Steve didn’t think it should be so weird. They were married, they’d been intimate in just about every way imaginable, they’d talked about really deep and traumatising stuff; trying to come up with something to talk about at dinner really shouldn’t be so difficult.

Except that since having that thought, that seemed to be all Steve could think about. All other thoughts of any other topic of conversation completely missing from his now empty head, “So,” Steve echoed, fidgeting with his cutlery.

Eddie cleared his throat again, twisting his wedding ring around and around his finger, “Boxing. That was…”

“Horrific,” Steve muttered at the same time as Eddie said, “Different.”

His answer seemed to shock Eddie, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline, “Horrific? Surely you're not that fazed by a bit of blood?”

Steve shrugged, “No, it’s not that. It's just... when you're at home, you're around your own people, right? And then you go somewhere new, and it's like being hit with the reality that the majority of men really think it's okay to treat women like that, y'know? And I agree with autonomy one hundred percent, if that's what Beth wants to do, I support her unconditionally, but what horrifies me is that, that's the world women have to face every day. Ogled at and wolf whistled and basically treated like they're a piece of meat,” he huffed, disgusted with his own gender.

Steve knew a little about it himself. Growing up “pretty” he took his fair share of objectification, the girls and sometimes even the teachers at school. His mother's friends. His father's colleagues. Eye's on him in the club or the supermarket. Sometimes it's nice, a confidence boost, knowing you look good. Sometimes it's gross, when just existing is a reason to be leered at. Sometimes it's downright terrifying, like the first and last time he'd cut through an alley alone or the last time Robin went anywhere alone at night, when she'd nipped out for jerky and came home practically catatonic, shaking in his arms for hours.

“It's not even just about Bobbie, I do my best to stick to her like glue, but if I think about the fact that that's the world Max and El are about to walk into…” Steve swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat every time that thought crossed his mind, “I really have to grapple with the idea of not just becoming their personal bodyguard. Mainly 'cause Max would absolutely kick my ass for even suggesting it. And I know technically they're adults, but they're my little sisters, and they're just babies, y'know?”

Steve trailed off, thinking about all the years he'd spent watching them grow. El was still a toddler when he'd first met her, and Max might have been a teen, but she had been equally unsteady on her feet after being ripped from her home and her dad.

Eddie hadn't said anything the whole time Steve was talking, he’d just sat listening with his head cocked slightly to the side, like he always did, but it had definitely been over a minute since he’d stopped speaking and Eddie still hadn’t said anything. Steve was about to fly into another explanation when Eddie blinked owlishly and sucked in a deep breath through his teeth, “Jesus, Stevie,” he murmured affectionately, “You gotta stop making it so easy to fall in love with y—”

“What?” Steve interrupted, his voice coming out sharp in his utter disbelief.

Eddie’s eyes bulged as he registered what he’d said, “Shit!” he cursed under his breath.

But Steve wasn’t really listening any more all he could hear was Eddie’s voice echoing “in love with you” his eyebrows rose slowly towards his hairline, “You’re in love with me?” he asked again because he was pretty sure that was what he'd said, but he needed to be absolutely sure before he blew up their relationship.

Eddie's chair scraped harshly against the parquet floor as, much to Steve’s horror, he stood up to leave, “I’m sorry. I’ll just—” Eddie didn’t even finish his sentence, just pointed glumly towards the exit.

Luckily, he didn’t get further than the side of their table before Steve's brain kicked into gear, his hand reaching out to grab a firm hold of Eddie's wrist, “No! Wait. Eddie,” Steve pleaded, gesturing towards his chair in a silent plea for him to sit back down; waiting as patiently as he could while Eddie twisted indecisively, caught between wanting to leave and wanting to stay. Eddie sighed heavily and turned to sit back down, Steve’s hand never leaving his wrist and not really aware of the fact that he'd been holding his breath until his lungs started to burn.

Steve ran his spare hand instinctively through his hair, tugging slightly at the strands as he took a steadying breath, “You’re in love with me?” he asked again, making sure to keep a tight but soothing grip on Eddie's wrist by rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb.

Eddie's looked anywhere but directly at him, made a series of incomprehensible noises then, tugging a chunk of his hair in front of his face with his spare hand, muttered, “Yes?” almost like it was a question. Until Eddie's eyes finally landed on him, and whether he saw the hope on Steve's face that he knew was bleeding from his chest into every part of him, or not, Steve wasn't sure, but Eddie let go of his hair and set his shoulders, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. “Yes,” he declared decisively.

Steve felt his eyes blink slowly, but his brain had short-circuited, he could only hear static as his vision blurred, “When—” Steve breathed.

Eddie visibly softened, smiling lopsidedly, his dimples poking through, “You remember the concert?” Since the concert! Steve took a purposeful breath and nodded his acknowledgement. Eddie glanced away as a waiter walked past their table, his gaze flicking immediately back to Steve, “Me and Chris, we’ve never had people like us straight away, y'know? Not for who we really are. It’s always been— but you and Bobs…” Eddie trailed off, the words sticking on his tongue, but Steve didn’t need him to say it; he’d never had friends that just accepted all of him either.

Eddie sniffed, and Steve could see how watery his eyes were, so he released his grip on Eddie’s wrist and started drawing patterns up his forearm, creating images and scrawling words with his fingertips. Whether it soothed him or not, Steve didn’t know, but a little light came back into Eddie’s eyes as he took a deep breath and continued, “Anyway, Nothing Else Matters started to play, and I’ve heard that song a million times, but it never— I didn’t— It was like something clicked in my head. Then I looked at you, and you were sweaty from the pit and your hair was all—” Eddie makes a gesture over his head spraying his fingers and jiggling his hand, it shouldn’t have been half as adorable as it was, but Steve was helpless against the huff of laughter that bubbled out of his chest.

Eddie’s smile widened, vision glazed and deep in his memory, “But you were just beaming! The most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen, and I knew you had no idea where you were, you didn’t know the band, didn’t understand the magnitude of the moment, but you were still just having the best time and I remember hearing the lyrics and just thinking…” Eddie trailed off, his radiant smile fading, turning slowly into a frown, watching his own fingers drumming a beat on the tabletop.

Steve wanted to know what he meant, what he had been thinking in that moment, but he knew deep in his gut that it wasn’t the right time to ask, so he just slid his hand down to cover Eddie’s hand with his own, pressing his thumb into his palm and watching as Eddie’s eyes flicked over to him, looking up at him through his lashes.

Steve searched back through his memories and found he couldn’t find one that wasn’t seeped in the deep affection he felt for Eddie, even the morning he awoke half drunk and fully confused. He had tried to be annoyed, tried to be snarky, but it was all too laced with something he was far too scared to admit to, for it to land the way he’d spent years perfecting.

He laced their fingers together, absentmindedly tapping the beat of his own pulse against Eddie’s finger with his thumb, “I don’t remember the exact moment, because I’m pretty sure I was drunk, but I know I only let myself acknowledge it on the way back from Rachel,” Steve admitted, smiling melancholically at their joined hands, watching as Eddie’s fingertips stroked over his ring.

“Why?” Eddie asked quickly, like he hadn’t really meant to, and when Steve looked at him, he could see the panic on his face but also the genuine curiosity in his eyes.

Steve shrugged, his smile starting to feel a little strained, “Because I know me,” he answered simply, huffing a frustrated breath, annoyed with himself for all the times he’d broken his own heart, “I fall fast and hard, and I end up hurt every damn time and there’s never anyone to blame but myself ‘cause who does that?!”

He can recall with startling clarity every time that someone had said that to him, “Who does that?!” All the times Steve had said those three stupid little words far too soon. Every time he’d fallen and there’d been no parachute, no one to catch him, not even a damn crash mat.

It was a rhetorical question, but Eddie answered it anyway, “People with big hearts and a lot of love to give,” he mumbled almost self-deprecatingly, and it occurred to Steve for the very first time that they were the same, he and Eddie; that he’d finally met someone exactly like him. Sure, they’d both jumped in far too quickly, but he realised it didn’t have to be a bad thing, not if they did it together.

Steve sat up straighter in his chair, taking Eddie’s hand in his and gingerly pulling it closer, to plant a firm but gentle kiss on his knuckles. Eddie grinned, a soft blush sitting high on his cheeks, and tucked his chair in to tangle their legs together under the table, just as the waiter arrived with their food.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, just smiling softly at one another across the table until Steve couldn’t really stand not hearing Eddie’s voice any more, “How’s the carbonara?” he asked from behind his knuckles so Eddie didn’t get a view of the half chewed gnocchi still in his mouth, that meant he heard his mother in the back of his mind admonishing him for speaking with his mouth full.

Eddie just nodded happily, “Mhm, s’good. Wanna try?” he asked, holding a forkful over the candle sitting between them, meaning Steve had to lunge forward to take the bite before the pasta unravelled into the flame below.

It should be weird, taking food from someone else’s fork, but it wasn’t. It was just intimate in a way Steve had never experienced before. He liked it. Wanted to experience it again but didn’t want to take all of Eddie’s food, so he offered Eddie some of his gnocchi and found that having Eddie come at his fork like he was a shark and the utensil was his prey was equally as enjoyable, if not more so.

Although, if he does that again in this restaurant, I might just do something I’ll regret.

Steve took his fork back, taking a purposefully deep breath, and doing the sensible thing of distracting himself by asking Eddie about his day. Eddie was more than happy to comply, telling Steve all about what Dan had said; about how he had arrived the day before and had spent the day they'd spent in Rachel furiously pacing the corridor outside his suite waiting for Eddie to come back. How Dan had started off the conversation by demanding Eddie get a divorce and go back to him, not because he regretted his decision to let Eddie go, but because his family were treating their relationship like a faze and had decided they wanted him to settle down with a wife and have heirs.

How Jason was still blaming Dan for Chrissy breaking up with him; because after six months, Jason hadn’t been able to keep up the Mr Nice Guy act any more, and she had seen how he had treated Dan and Eddie's relationship like a joke. How she could no longer stand the jealousy and the possessiveness every time she and Eddie had hung out. How she had finally seen how he'd pushed all her other friends away, and it was only their proximity and sheer stubbornness that meant he’d had no hope of wiggling his way between the two of them.

And how, when Jason had accidentally punched Dan, after he’d got in the middle, on the day Eddie had finally had enough and had told Jason that he needed to start treating Chrissy better, that had been the final straw. But that somehow in Jason’s head, that had made the breakup all their fault, especially when she continued to see the rest of the family but outright refused to have anything to do with him.

That when Eddie had asked Dan if he actually wanted him back, if he loved him, if he saw a future together with him, Dan had cried because he didn't. He just wanted a buffer between him and his family, he wanted his family to respect his choices and love him for who he was, and his parents put on a better show of pretending to do all of those things when there was an outsider around and that now that both of their progenies were single, they were more disappointed than ever and were making constant digs about how unlikely it was that either of them were going to give them the grandbabies they were so desperate for.

That Eddie had told Dan that he needed to either demand their respect or find himself a family that would love him unconditionally because dragging him or some other poor soul into the Carver bullshit as a buffer was deplorable, not to mention outright unfair, and that his parents choosing to treat their kids as dolls was their problem, not his for being his own person. That even though he was a douchebag, he was still worthy of love and to live his life on his own terms.

And the more Eddie talked, the more kindness and compassion he'd showed towards someone who hadn't shown him a shred of decency, the deeper under his spell Steve fell. He knew he could never sit down with Billy and talk him down from the proverbial ledge like Eddie had, and Billy's father made the Devil look like a decent fella. But there was no way Steve could deal with having his holiday ruined, getting toyed with and rejected for a second time and still have the strength of character to remind his ex that he deserved better than he was getting.

It just reminded Steve how extraordinary Eddie was, how lucky he was just to sit across the table from him, how blessed he was to be able to call Eddie his husband.

“I need you to meet my dad,” Steve blurted, inadvertently interrupting Eddie’s tale.

Eddie's eyebrows scrunched together, “Your dad?”

“Well, my mom too, but me and Hop, we have this rule, and I've already broken it, and I'm a little petrified about that, ‘cause I know he's going to try to terrify you and if I think too long on that I might just become a little hysterical ‘cause I'm so deep down this hole that if he scares you away I might never recover, but it's kinda like ripping off a band aid right? The quicker you do it, the less it hurts. So if by some miracle you keep being my husband, and you do things like tell a story where I'm just sitting here thinking about how amazing you are and how you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, I don't have to have this nagging thought that a Hopper shovel talk might just make you run a mile,” Steve blurted out in such a Robinesque way it made him blanch at himself.

Eddie’s mouth quirked up at one corner, a soft laugh escaping his lips as he opened his mouth to speak, “Sweetheart, no offence to your dad, but there's nothing he could say to make me run a mile.”

Eddie had said it with conviction, but Steve wasn’t convinced, he’d seen the look on Mike’s face three days after his shovel talk, when El had asked him to go check up on Mike because he wasn’t returning her calls, “Really? Are you sure? 'cause Hop's a cop, Mike was practically hysterical—“

“Stevie,” Eddie interrupted softly, “There's nothing he could say,” he assured.

Steve didn’t know what it was, but something in Eddie’s gaze made him believe it, “Okay,” Steve breathed, Mike’s expression fading from his memory in the face of Eddie’s soft smile, the tension finally seeping out of him at the thought that Eddie wasn’t going anywhere.

“Plus, you've told me about Mike, seems like a bit of a weeny,” Eddie said nonchalantly, but his lip twisting up at the corner gave away the fact that he was joking.

Steve huffed a wistful laugh, remembering Mike flailing around Dustin’s bedroom going on and on for months about how Hop had threatened to kill him, and it wasn’t that Steve didn’t believe him, he trusted that Hop absolutely would say that to him, especially if he was being as disrespectful as the tale he’d spun. No, the funny thing to Steve was, that Mike thought himself so self-important that Hop would risk his life with his daughter and his career to actually murder him; and if the way Mike had been acting reminded him of himself at his age, well, that was between him, Hopper and God.

“He is, or at least he used to be. I haven't really seen him since he went off to college, and El stopped mentioning him a while back. I don't even know if he’ll be home for the summer,” Steve said sadly as he realised it was the first time since he’d started taking care of the kids all those years ago that he hadn’t known where one of them was going to be.

Eddie hummed in understanding, watching himself twist his spoon around on the tabletop, “Maybe you could introduce me to them?” he suggested, eventually daring to look up at Steve through his lashes.

Steve tried to dampen him smile but grew of its own volition until it was physically hurting his face, “I’d like that,” he admitted bashfully.

The waiter appeared to take away their empty plates and after both of them gave him their gentle thanks, Steve found himself lost in the soft floaty space of Eddie’s gaze. There wasn’t anything to think about, just the safe little bubble encompassing him. That was why when Eddie twisted his spoon again, and it clanged against crockery, they both looked down, surprised to find dessert sitting in front of them.

Embarrassed that he’d been so caught up in his husband's gaze, Steve huffed a nervous chuckle and picked up his spoon, digging it into the soft summer berries sitting enticingly on top of his cheesecake; peripherally watching Eddie dig into his gâteaux, smiling reluctantly around his spoon as Eddie inadvertently smeared chocolate mousse around his mouth.

Eddie licked the dessert from around his lips with gusto and all Steve could think about was taking Eddie and the desserts back to the hotel and enjoying them both in a way that wasn’t pg enough to be done in a restaurant. He felt his cheeks flush hot when Eddie offered his spoon to Steve, a bite of the overly chocolatey dessert starting to melt with the heat rising from the candle.

Steve wrapped his mouth around the proffered spoon and tried his hardest to drag his mind back out of the gutter, Eddie had gone to the trouble of organising a wonderful date and the least Steve could do was actually be present throughout. He offered some of his cheesecake to Eddie, and definitely did not think about the look of bliss on Eddie’s face as the berries popped on his tongue and his hum of delight.

Bob’s would kill us if we did this in front of her.

And Steve busied himself with thanking every god he didn’t believe in as he retracted his spoon because that thought was the mental slap to the face he needed. Not that Bobbie would actually kill them, but she would make gagging faces and lament how she’d lost her best friend to the grossest love known to man.

He wondered if Chrissy thought similarly; he wasn’t sure she did, she actually seemed pretty excited every time they were overly mushy. Maybe she’d be the yin to Robin’s yang that would get her used to what love was actually supposed to look like.

Robin’s parents had thought that shielding her from any public displays of affection was the best way to raise a well-balanced child. Apparently, they thought seeing anything more romantic than handholding might alter her worldview or something. Except all that happened was, the first time she accidentally saw them kiss she reacted like it was the most disgusting thing she’d ever seen and had never quite been able to break the habit.

Maybe between the two of them, they could find a happy medium.

Thinking about the girls actually reminded him of the question he’d kind of been dying to ask all night, “Hey, how come you were late to the match?” Steve asked, finishing off his last bite of cheesecake.

“Oh, well, while I was having lunch with Chris, she mighta mentioned the call with your mom,” Steve felt his face fall at the thought that Chrissy was gossiping about something so private, “No, not like that,” Eddie quickly reassured, “I just asked her what you guys had been up to, she just said you were upset when you spoke to your mom, but you know what it’s like, sometimes you put more together in what they aren’t saying, y’know?” Eddie explained, and Steve couldn’t help but nod because he did know. Speaking without words, even about things you were trying not to say, was platonic soulmate 101.

Eddie smiled empathetically, “She tried to gloss over it, moved on to updating me about Beth and her idea for the evening and the voicemail she’d left for Bobbie that she was freaking out about, but I just couldn’t get all that she hadn’t said out of my mind, y’know? I just couldn’t shake it, not with the walk back to the hotel or with a shower, but as we were about to leave I was slipping my rings back on and that’s when it hit me!” he exclaimed, and then seemed to realise he wasn’t using his inside voice because he giggled and then murmured, “I’m pretty sure I garbled something at Chris before running off, but who knows, I just knew I needed to do this.”

“So,” Eddie muttered, taking a deep breath before digging around in his pocket and sliding off his seat to kneel by Steve’s side, holding a square black box with two rings nestled inside. Steve felt himself freeze, he wasn't even sure he was even breathing, all he could do was stare at the rings blinking at him in the candlelight. They were obviously handmade, one had a sun and the other had a moon carved into the band, the sun ring was gold with a citrine stone sitting next to the carving, the moon ring was silver with a sapphire. Steve felt his eyes bulge because surely Eddie wasn’t about to…

“I know I originally proposed with a plastic ring from a water bottle, which has to be the lamest engagement ring ever,” Eddie chuckled self-deprecatingly, and it suddenly occurred to Steve that that very ring had been sitting in his wallet the whole time. He’d thought it was weird when he’d spotted it at the gas station on the way to Rachel, but he hadn’t thought much of it. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d crammed something absentmindedly into his pockets, but it was his engagement ring; or it had been.

Eddie sucked in a deep breath, “I wanted you to have the real deal, so I called Charlie, and I was on the way to the jewellers when I walked right past the guy making these, and I just knew they were perfect because you are like a literal ray of fucking sunshine, Stevie. Waking up in your arms makes it worth waking up, your smile alone is enough to brighten the darkest of days and when I look in your eyes it warms me from the inside out.”

“I didn’t think I could have this, I was really starting to believe I’d grow old and alone. Chris brought me here to have some fun and get me out of the funk I’d fallen into, but then I met you, and you’re just so…” Eddie trailed off, reaching up to wipe a stray tear from Steve’s cheek.

“Marrying you might just be the best stupid drunken decision I've ever made,” he told Steve affectionately with a wet laugh, “I mean, meeting you and Robin... you're both incredible. And our best friends are quite probably in love, which I had to find out way too much about today,” he chuckled rolling his eyes affectionately, and even though a tear escaped Eddie’s eyes as he did, it still made Steve laugh because thank god it wasn’t just him that had to hear all about it.

“Everything I get to know about you just makes me fall more and more in love with you, and it's so hard to keep a level head. To not just think fuck it, let’s just jump right off this cliff and see what happens. Not even in a safe way, like let's go home and keep going on dates, but like a let's go home and move in together and be husbands and start a family way, y'know?”

“Because I want all that with you, I look at my future and I see all that with you because from the moment you told us about the RV and your nuggets at the summit, I just wanted to jump up and down and say, “Yes, let's do it! Let’s go home and start all that right now!” And I know this probably feels a bit of a rebound, but it's so not. I promise it’s not, I came here with a cynical heart and the promise of a good time, but this trip and you… You actually helped me see that I'm worth something.”

“That I’m worthy just as I am, worthy of simple kindnesses and a loving partner, worthy of having someone by my side. By the end, what me and Dan had wasn't even a relationship, it was just two people kidding themselves 'cause we were scared of the consequences of what would happen if we weren't together. And now that's actually happened for Dan, which is why he rocked up this morning acting like, well, like a Carver, but he knew deep down when he did what he did that they'd treat him this way, and maybe I'm a bit of a sadist because I saw him hurting, and I took the time I should've been with you enjoying my holiday to try and remind him that he's worth more than that.”

“But what I’m trying to say is, you’re the best thing to happen to me in a long time, and I am so fucking in love with you, it’s kinda scaring the bejesus outta me, so will you do me the highest of honours and remain being my husband?” Eddie asked, plucking the sun ring out of the box and holding it out to Steve with shaking fingers.

Steve had tried his hardest to be patient, to let Eddie say what he needed to but the moment he stopped speaking all Steve could think about was kissing him. He pushed Eddie's hair back from his face, cupping his jaw as he leaned in to connect their lips. It wasn't much of a kiss because he couldn't stop smiling long enough and when another tear slipped down Eddie's cheek Steve couldn't stop himself from kissing it away, peppering the rest of his face with kisses. Leaning back to look at the man he was pretty sure he was going to get to spend the rest of his life with and giggling at Eddie's slightly raised eyebrows that said Well?

“Yes! Of course, yes!“ Steve managed tearfully, letting Eddie slide the ring onto his finger and then taking the moon ring out of the box and just before sliding it onto Eddie’s finger, paused, “But, only if we go home and do all that stuff you just said, 'cause I actually kinda sorta mighta been fantasising about it since I made pancakes,” Steve admitted impishly, sliding the ring down his finger to meet his wedding band.

Eddie grinned broadly at his hand, watching as the sapphire glinted in the soft warm light before grinning up at Steve, “Oh, yeah? Care to share?“ he asked, clambering back into his seat but bringing the chair around to the side of the table, so he was sitting as close to Steve as he could possibly get without actually sitting in his lap.

Steve blushed, looked down at his own hand, twisting the ring side to side as an excuse not to look directed at Eddie, “I mean, yeah, like waking up with you in my arms, or in yours. Going for early morning jogs with Chris, coming home and making you breakfast— or brunch, maybe if you're gigging. Going to work with Bobbie and coming home to you and talking about our days. Maybe you could play me whatever song you've been working on, just so I can tell you how amazing you are. Cooking dinner, or getting to take you out to gorgeous places like this before you get too famous to be able to do that any more.”

“Standing on the side of a stage or in the front row, singing along and screaming your name, the way you did the other night. Going home together, wrapping you up in my arms, and letting you know just how incredible I think you are. Falling asleep together and starting the process all over again the next morning, until there's a little you or a little me or a little both of us or a little gremlin child, like Dusty was. And then there'd be all that but also family dinners and trips to the park and all the firsts, all shared with you. And then first days of school with me sobbing on you at the gate, and show and tell, and parents evenings, and productions and recitals and—”

“Thank you,” Eddie said to the waiter as they set the bill down. Steve was kind of grateful for the interruption, as he realised with horror that he was already ten years into the future and on the fast track to planning their retirement. And at the same time, he kind of wished he was still talking because Eddie hadn't said anything, he was just staring at the rings on his finger.

Steve was just about to start backtracking when Eddie finally looked up at him. He was misty-eyed, his bottom lip trembling the more he tried to smile, giving Steve that same look of awe he'd given him when Steve had wanted to wear his vest to the concert, and it was like Steve didn't need him to say he wanted all that too because he could feel it deep in his bones that Eddie thought it sounded perfect.

They stared at one another for a few more minutes, just letting the reality that they'd found each other, that they wanted all that together, that that could be their future, settle between them. It was then that Steve noticed how quiet it was and looked around to see that the restaurant was empty, it had just been them in their little bubble for so long that neither of them had noticed that everyone but a few members of staff had left.

He looked to Eddie who seemed to notice at the same time he had, looking back at each other with guilty smiles that quickly turned into bursts of laughter, both of them folding over in hysterics as they tried and failed to control themselves.

Steve sobered faster than Eddie and snatched up the bill before Eddie had a chance, settling it and adding an extra $20 on top of the tip for their patience. Taking Eddie’s hand before he had time to protest, he dragged him out into the night. Luckily they weren’t too far from the hotel and between their joyful skipping and their mad dashes weaving in and out of the crowds and laughing the whole way, Steve was pretty sure they made it back to the suite in record time.

my beautiful tag list ❤️ @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @adhdsummer @nerdfighteratheart @anaibis @dolphincliffs @hbyrde36 @marinarasarah @deadflowercollector @lunabookworm @a-couchpotato @wonderland-girl143-blog @ddharrington @abstractnaturaldisaster @lololol-1234 @bestwifehaver @steviejeebiez feel free to lmk if you want removing 💖

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Part 11

#apologies again about the grammar and tense changes #i was hoping i'd grow out of it but apparently not 😂#steddie vegas au #steddie au #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #background buckingham #platonic stobin #platonic hellcheer #steve's pov #aj writes

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