#but I have been thinking about this exact thing for 500 years

[muddyorbsblr]

summoned pt1

See my full list of works here!

Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: After what could probably be the worst birthday of your life, a mysterious shadowy figure appears in your bedroom while you were sleeping.

Pairing: Incubus!Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: language; A+ parenting that would impress Odin; inaccurate summoning rituals; Loki feeling you up in your sleep [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Loki's a sex demon, not a god in this one

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

You walked through your apartment grumbling those exact words as you finally toed off your cinching pumps and padded your feet over to the kitchen counter, placing the little cupcake you'd gotten for yourself as a pitiful excuse of a 'celebration' for today. A joke, really, considering what a colossal shit show the day had turned out to be.

First the printer had jammed, keeping you waiting in queue for over three hours just to complete the solitary task that was in your workload for today that kept you from ending your day earlier and hopefully finding a way to actually celebrate despite your entire family being too busy to even call for a simple "Happy Birthday, Y/N" greeting over FaceTime. Something about them all going out to celebrate your sister getting cast as an understudy to a secondary character in her school play.

And then to add salt to the wound, not even HR could bother to have invited you to the free lunch they arranged for this month's celebrants. They told you that it must have slipped their minds when they were orienting you.

"It didn't even cross your minds to double check when your total number of celebrants for the year didn't match your total number of employees?" you asked them, trying to keep your composure because, after all, you still needed this job to pay your goddamn bills.

"Honestly, Miss Y/L/N, we just thought that the system glitched. It was just off by one. We didn't think anything of it."

A glitch. That was what you were to this company. Hell, to your family as well. Barely even a blip on the radar. Just something they remember actually existed when everything else managed to go wrong in their lives.

Now here you were, sitting in your little one bedroom apartment in New York, alone and lonely on your 29th birthday, wondering how you could have lived your life so invisibly that nobody even noticed you'd somehow slipped so far between the cracks that you were collecting dust in a corner of the room that nobody could see, let alone reach. How could you have gone your entire life and you didn't even have someone to call when you wanted company?

How could you have been so alone that nobody would even think of you if they wanted company?

You decided there was no harm in making a wish for yourself as you searched for a lighter for the tiny candle to cap off the dismal start to the final year of your 20s. You took out a piece of paper and scribbled your wish, tears prickling in the back of your eyes as you penned the words.

Someone that makes me feel less alone.

You lit up the candle and held the paper to the flame, a tear escaping your eye as you whispered the words, "This is all I want." You watched as the tiny sheet became engulfed in flames, disappearing into ash floating around the air so quickly that your fingers didn't even have enough time to feel the fire licking across your skin.

"Happy Birthday, Y/N," you sighed, blowing out the candle. "Another banner year," you whispered sarcastically into the dark silence.

You went about the rest of your night in the shroud of darkness, making the split second decision to change into a black silk negligee that you'd been reserving to wear for when you finally had someone to spend the night with rather than just spend a fleeting half hour with before you ended up leaving their apartment because you just couldn't feel a connection.

Perhaps the time had come to accept that you weren't meant to have that type of connection. With anyone.

With that depressing thought taking over, you laid down in bed and allowed sleep to take you, letting your thoughts drift into nothingness as you focused on the dark and the quiet that surrounded you. The same dark and quiet that always surrounded you.

What you heard next might as well have shot ice straight through your veins. "Well…hello. Aren't you a pretty thing."

It's just a nightmare, you told yourself. Just squint your eyes really hard and you'll wake up.

You tried to squeeze your eyes as hard as you could, but you could still feel that you weren't quite alone, the faint touch of a hand ghosting over your body on top of your comforter, the husked voice humming in a sound that vaguely resembled satisfaction. "How fortunate of me to have been called to such an exquisite creature." You stilled as you felt a warm breath by your cheek, followed by the feel of a tongue tracing along the shell of your ear. "We're going to have such fun together."

When you felt the hand slide under your comforter, warm fingertips beginning to trace along the column of your neck, was when you finally found it in you to move. Perhaps if you couldn't squint your way awake, then you'd just have to jolt your body into waking by any means necessary.

The only thing was…you were awake. And in the darkness you could see the silhouette of a man with long hair hovering over you. You let out a scream so loud you were sure the roving guard in your building was about to break down your door for fear that you were getting slaughtered in your bedroom.

The shrill sound was enough to have the figure seem visibly taken aback that it gave you just enough leeway to push him off of you and propel yourself out of bed. "You have ten seconds to tell me who you are before I…I…" You fumbled around in your bedside drawer, not once taking your eyes off of the intruder's distractingly sculpted silhouette, and grasped the letter opener you kept inside. "Before I slash at you with this. Ten!"

"I have no need to explain myself. You summoned me."

"Keep telling yourself that, buddy. Nine!"

"Do you truly not recall summoning me, you beguiling little creature?"

"Creature??" you shrilled. "Alright that's it, you just knocked five seconds out. Four!"

"Alright wait, wait! If you truly do not recall then perhaps we can discuss this? Preferably without meager weapons," he said, holding his hands up in a show of surrender. You proceeded to shout Three, making him let out a sibilant exhale. "If you won't listen to reason, then perhaps I must make you listen."

In the next moment, the figure disappeared, thin wisps of smoke being the only indicator that there was even anything that once occupied the space he stood in.

You started to let out another shrill scream into your now empty bedroom, only for the sound to die in a muffled squeak as the intruder re-materialized right beside you, clamping a large hand over your mouth…and nearly half your face.

"Shhh little mortal, please. I'm not here to harm you." You could feel yourself relaxing into his almost tender hold on you as he whispered the words into your ear, your reaction leaving you both shocked and appalled at yourself. "I swear, I am simply here because I was summoned. To perform a purpose. If what you say is true and you truly do not recall, then perhaps we could find out together why I've been brought here?"

Well shit, when he puts it that way, I must be a complete nimrod to keep screaming, huh? you hissed sarcastically at yourself. Considering that his hand was still covering your mouth, you simply nodded your response slowly, allowing him to take the letter opener from you with his free hand.

"If I release you, do you promise not to scream?" You let out a long exhale through your nose, slowly nodding your answer again, relief beginning to flood your system as he pulled his hand away from you and you began to walk to turn on the lights in your bedroom.

"Look I don't know who you are or what you are or what the fuck you're doing in my home, but I can promise you, on my life, I didn't summon you," you started, already emotionally exhausted from the disappointment of the day combined with this bizarre encounter from…wherever this intruder came from, with his tricks and smoke and mirrors. When you flipped the switch and your bedroom became awash with a warm white glow, you finally got a good look at your unexpected visitor.

But now I definitely wish I did, you thought to yourself. He was…for lack of a better, more fitting word, beautiful. A face that seemed as if it was sculpted and perfected by the greatest artists history had ever known, and that same scrupulous attention to detail had been given to the rest of him, too.

You never did understand back then what the women in your office meant when they described a man as someone that looked "built for sex". But now…looking at the man who stood mere feet away from you? Now you understood them perfectly.

"How about we start with why you believe I summoned you to begin with? And maybe names?" You struggled to maintain eye contact with him as he tilted his head at you, angling his body in a way that suggested he was about to approach you again. "I'm Y/N. And you are…?" You extended your hand to shake, a gesture that honestly seemed so ridiculous considering what had just happened moments ago, and where you two were.

"I am Loki. Of the Incubi," he replied, taking your hand in his. However, instead of shaking it like you'd expected, he raised it to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles, the action taking you by surprise right alongside the information he'd just revealed to you with those few words.

"Incubi? Sex demons?" you huffed out incredulously as you began to break into a fit of laughter, pulling your hand away from him. "Now I'm definitely sure you got your wires crossed somewhere. See, Loki, there's no fucking way that I summoned a sex demon. We can start with…I don't even know how."

Your laughter faded into a little squeak as you felt his fingers lightly grasping your chin, tilting your head so that he could take a good look at you. You began to squirm under his gaze as the moments ticked by. "I believe you," he breathed out, the disappointment visible on his face. "A shame. How I would have enjoyed being pleasure-bound to one as breathtaking as you."

His words rung with such an unapologetic honesty that it had you fighting back the heat rising in your cheeks…and swirling in your lower stomach. The way he moved his hand to cup your jaw, his thumb stroking your bottom lip, only worsened your already building desire for the man. No, not a man…demon. As if reminding yourself that he wasn't what he seemed was going to quell that fire; if anything, it might even make it worse, especially considering what kind of demon you were dealing with.

"Perhaps you unknowingly summoned me, then," he murmured, his face hovering so close to yours that you could feel his warm breath on your lips as he spoke. "Was there anything that you did tonight that was out of your regular routine? Perhaps that could lead us to…well, where we are now."

You moved out of his hold with an audible sigh. "Alright…well, I came home from work. It was my birthday, so I made a wish on the candle of my cupcake." You started walking out to the living room/dining area of your  apartment, half-heartedly waving toward the space as if to say 'this is where that happened'.

"Quite curious…" he trailed off, walking to the kitchen counter and running two fingers across the surface, placing wholly inappropriate thoughts in your mind about what kind of devastation those sinfully, egregiously long digits could possibly wreak on your body. "And how did you make this…wish?"

You started walking around your living room, trying to retrace your steps since you came home from work earlier, up until you also reached the kitchen counter, trying not to focus too much on the feel of his hand now resting on your lower back, fingers loosely curved around your waist as if he was ready to pull you towards him at a moment's notice.

"I wrote it…on a piece of paper," you muttered, placing your hands on the countertop, willing your memory from a few short hours ago to return to you. "I said 'This is all I want', and then I burned it on the flame before I blew the candle out."

It barely registered to you that he'd moved so that he was standing directly behind you as you were recalling the events before you went to sleep, his hands now resting on either side of your waist, holding you loosely against him. "Hmm…there it is, then. Your wish that you set aflame, that is what summoned me." You fought against your instinctive urge to lean in to his touch and shudder at the way he was whispering in your ear, lips hovering so close that you could feel them ghosting over your skin as he spoke. "Tell me, darling, what did you wish for?"

A shuddering breath escaped you as you felt him move, tracing his nose down the column of your neck, ghosting his lips along the curve between your neck and shoulder, all the while whispering against your skin his soft-spoken command to tell you what you'd wished for that resulted in him being summoned to your home.

"I wished for someone that would make me feel less alone," you sighed your admission, your words barely audible as you fought against your urge to tear up again.

You felt Loki tense against you, maneuvering you so that you would turn and face him, a mix of confusion and concern rife on his devastatingly beautiful features. "I must admit, I'd never been summoned by a wish so…vestal." He reached up and proceeded to push locks of your hair away from your face, tucking the strands behind your ear. "Usually when I am summoned the wish is more…carnal in nature."

"Because sex demon…" you muttered, smirks tugging at the corners of your mouths.

"Indeed," he answered you, a low chuckle escaping him as he tucked his fingers under your chin, tilting your head to look up at him. "Your accidental summoning of me does not change the fact that I am now bound to you, darling mortal. I cannot leave you be until I've fulfilled your needs." A shiver ran through you at his words, worsening when he leaned down, hovering his face mere inches away from yours as his hand traveled down the length of your arm wrapping his fingers around your own hand. "Come with me then."

You chose not to move as he began to lead you through your apartment, standing still and causing him to look back at you when he was met with resistance at your joined hands. "Come with you where, exactly?"

"Back to your bedroom, of course."

"I thought I made it clear that--"

"We're not to go there so that I may bed you, darling," he cut you off with a knowing smirk. "Unless, of course, that would satisfy your needs. In which case I would be more than happy to oblige."

You felt your walls clenching around nothing at his suggestion, tempted beyond reason to take him up on his offer even though you knew that while there was no doubt that sex with someone literally made for it would be mind-blowing, the last thing you needed was another meaningless romp in bed. "Then why exactly are you bringing me back to my bedroom?"

"Your wish," he began, relaxing his hold on you and walking back to stand mere inches from you. "It was for companionship, was it not?" You nodded mutely, a squeak escaping you as you felt his hand at your side, his thumb gently stroking along your ribcage. "From what I've observed with your kind, to sleep alone when one yearns for companionship may be one of the most cripplingly lonely feelings you can experience. I was simply intending to hold you."

His words left you staring at him blankly, struggling to process his words. "Honestly I just thought you were gonna skulk around in the corner while I lived my life because that would be like zero effort for you, and it would still make me feel 'less alone'," you tried to joke, biting your tongue when you saw that he'd only responded by furrowing his brows at you.

"You are far too beautiful to be this guarded," he murmured, leaning closer to you that you could feel his warm breath at the bridge of your nose. "You deserve to have someone to hold you. You shouldn't have had to feel this lonely to begin with." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. "I apologize. It seems that I was all that the fates could give you."

The gesture took you off guard, the tears that you'd been fighting back since you got home from work finally escaping your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. You wrapped your fingers around his hand, squeezing lightly in a silent gesture that you were letting him lead you back to your bedroom. You couldn't form the words anymore.

When he had you settled in your bed once again, only this time gently cradled in his arms, a large hand stroking up and down your back as he began to lull you to sleep. "Sleep, beautiful little mortal. You need not be alone any longer," he whispered before pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. "Not if I can help it."

"I really don't understand why you would be upset over this, Y/N. You should be thankful for the sentiment behind it, not the timing. What's important is that we remembered eventually, isn't it?"

You rolled your eyes at your mother's condescending tone over the phone. You'd spent the entire drive back to your apartment from work listening to her justify herself for at least remembering to greet you happy birthday.

Only thing was that it had been an entire six months later. And now she was trying to guilt you into warmly accepting her half-hearted greeting of 'oh I completely forgot, Happy Birthday, sweetie', as if it held any merit now. "Honestly Audrey, how can you even forget your own daughter's birthday for six months? I mean if I were in your shoes I'd remember the anniversary of the days that an entire baby threatened to rip my vagina in half."

"Language, young lady! And how dare you call me by my own name, I am your mother! And you know that we were caught up in celebrating your sister's accomplishment with her school play. Becoming an understudy is a big deal you know."

"I haven't been a young lady for ages, and you haven't been my mother for just as long," you snapped back at her. "And even she was able to text me six fucking months ago apologizing on your behalf and greeting me herself. And how the fuck should I know how big of a deal it is to become an understudy I was too busy becoming the lead when I was still going to school. Last I checked you weren't even in the audience when that happened."

"You really should stop this nasty habit of making everything about you, dear."

You let out a frustrated scream in the hall, the sound prompting your apartment door to open, the sight of Loki stepping out the door clad in his version of "casual clothing" calming you significantly. 'What's wrong?' he mouthed at you, nodding in clear understanding when your only response to him was 'Mother'.

"Do you even fucking hear yourself?? You call me with a half-assed apology for forgetting your daughter's birthday sixmonths ago, and you expect me to just accept it with open arms going 'Of course Mommy I'm so happy you remembered it's the thought that counts'? And now that I'm calling you out on your A+ parenting at least where Stella's concerned since you just love coddling her and celebrating everything with her down to her fucking participation certificates, you're gonna have the balls to tell me that I should stop making this about me??"

The feel of Loki's hands on your shoulders, thumbs resting snugly between your shoulder blades, pressing and rubbing soothing circles in an attempt to mediate your temper, had you taking a deep breath before you went on.

"Audrey I don't want to hear from you ever again. Facts are…you haven't checked in on me since before I moved out of the house. You've pretty much mailed me everything that I left behind there so that you could tear down the wall and give Stella a fucking princess suite, so there isn't even a single trace of me in any square inch of that place she can freely call home.

"You haven't been a mother to me since Stella was born, let alone a mom, so you know what? We might as well cut ties now before I start saying shit that's really gonna hurt your precious fragile ego. Goodbye. Don't ever contact me again. I'm blocking your number, and if you even dare fucking show up on my doorstep I'll call the fucking cops on you. Have the life you deserve."

You felt the phone get taken out of your hand before he turned you around to pull you into a warm embrace. "Are you alright?"

"That felt really fucking good," you mumbled into his chest, starting to let out a hearty laugh as you wrapped your arms around him to return the hug. You lifted your head to look up at him, a smile stretching across your face as your eyes met his. "Hi."

"Hello, precious girl." A small traitorous giggle escaped you as he pressed a kiss between your brows. "Welcome home."

Your heart was doing somersaults at his words, your mind struggling to process them as he easily lifted you off  your feet and walked you both into your apartment. Home. The word rolled so effortlessly off his tongue it placed the cruelest image in your head.

One where maybe Loki could stay in your life forever. One where maybe in the last six months of him providing you companionship, you weren't alone in your stupidity in falling in love with the sex demon.

That maybe said demon fell in love with you, too. And the blissful domestic atmosphere that surrounded you whenever you walked into your apartment wasn't just an illusion.

"I have a question," you spoke into the dark quiet of your bedroom when he held you that night, lulling you to sleep. You looked up from your head's position resting snugly on his shoulder, your breath audibly hitching as you saw how menacingly beautiful he looked when his features were illuminated by the moonlight and nothing else.

"Ask away, darling." You could feel your eyes growing heavy as he proceeded to stroke your hair, earning you a low chuckle from him.

"You don't sleep…"

"That is true, I don't."

"So what do you do while I'm asleep?" You brought out another chuckle from him as you fought back a yawn after asking your question.

"Count the hours until the sun rises and your infernal alarm begins to blare in our ears and pulls you out of your peaceful slumber. In those hours, I read something from your shelves occasionally. But mostly I would watch over you, wonder what it is you're dreaming about that brings out such raw reactions upon your face."

"Fuck you must be bored out your mind, I'm sorry," you murmured, feeling yourself sink deeper and deeper into sleep.

Your brows furrowed together at the feel of his  fingers lightly grasping your chin. "Look at me, Sweetheart." Your eyes met his through your heavy-lidded gaze, a lazy smile tugging at the sides of your mouth as you looked into his darkened gaze. "That couldn't be farther from the truth. You could never bore me."

A violent fluttering erupted in your stomach as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, a mix between a sigh and a satisfied hum escaping him as he kissed you.

"Never," he insisted before pressing one final kiss to your lips. "Now go to sleep, darling."

"Mmph…thank you, Loki."

"What ever for?"

"For making me feel less alone."

Those last words you uttered before sleep finally took you echoed in Loki's ears like ominous drums that signaled a death march. Each time the words came back, the sound would grow louder, beginning to thump against his chest as if his heart was rushing to give out.

He'd forgotten that it could even do that.

For so long it had taken on this slow, almost snaillike pace that he could have sworn it stopped beating eons ago. It was only that first night, as he held you in his arms, that he could begin to feel the echoes of a pulse once more.

Now those echoes were more than prominent, each thump inside of him signaling that now that you said those words, his time with you was about to come to a screeching halt.

He dreaded how it would  happen. Would he simply be summoned to another's bed, simply to resume the process of meaningless trysts with sleeping women that craved nothing more than to be fucked into a stupor that more often than not led to permanent and unfavorable side effects on their part?

Would he be called back to Lilith's domain? To face an admonishment for taking so long on this particular assignment when he could have ended your plight so much more quickly and efficiently?

Would he even be able to say goodbye to you? Could he even bear it to see the look on your face if he did?

"Take it back," he pleaded softly at your sleeping form, desperation lacing every word. "Please. I don't want to leave you, Y/N. Take it back." He held you tighter against him, pressing kiss after kiss to your skin as he kept on begging you take the words back. "I can't bear to leave you, sweet girl. I love you too much for that."

A/N: Okay so I took quite a few liberties with the request but I hope you like it, Anon! There's going to be a part 2 to this because I want to give them a happy (and smutty) ending.

'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017

Loki taglist: @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @cheekyscamp @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki imagine #loki fanfic #muddyorbs writes #fic requests

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #5 – The Tusks of Extinction by Ray Nayler

I read Nayler’s The Mountain in the Sea last year and, despite thinking it was ultimately kind of a noble failure, liked it more than enough to give his new novella a try. It didn’t hurt that the premise as described in the marketing copy sounded incredible. I can’t quite say it was worth it, but that’s really only because this novella barely cost less than the 500-page doorstopper I picked up at the same time and I need to consider economies here – it absolutely lived up to the promise of its premise.

The book is set a century and change into the future, when a de-extinction initiative has gotten funding from the Russian government to resurrect the Siberian mammoth – or, at least, splice together a chimera that’s close-enough and birth it from african elephant surrogate mothers – to begin the process of restoring the prehistoric taiga as a carbon sink. The problem: there’s no one on earth left who knows how wild mammoth are supposed to, like, live- the only surviving elephants have been living in captivity for generations. Plop the ressurectees in the wilderness and they’ll just be very confused and anxious until they starve. The solution: the technology to capture a perfect image of a human mind is quite old, and due to winning some prestigious international award our protagonist – an obsessive partisan of elephant conservation – was basically forced to have her mind copied and put in storage a few months before she was killed by poachers.

So the solution of who will raise and socialize these newly created mammoths is ‘the 100-year-old ghost of an elephant expert, after having her consciousness reincarnated in a mammoth’s body to lead the first herd as the most mature matriarch’. It works better than you’d expect, really, but as it turns out she has some rather strong opinions about poachers, and isn’t necessarily very understanding when the solution found to keep the project funded involves letting some oligarch spend a small country’s GDP on the chance to shoot a bull and take some trophies.

So this is a novella, and a fairly short one – it’s densely packed with ideas but the length and the constraints of narrative mean that they’re more evoked or presented than carefully considered. This mostly jumps out at me with how the book approaches wildlife conservation – a theme that was also one of the overriding concerns of Mountain where it was considered at much greater length. I actually think the shorter length might have done Nayler a service here, if only because it let him focus things on one specific episode and finish things with a more equivocal and ambiguous ending than the saccharine deux ex machina he felt compelled to resort to in Mountain.

The protection of wildlife is pretty clearly something he’s deeply invested in – even if he didn’t outright say so in the acknowledgements, it just about sings out from the pages of both books. Specifically, he’s pretty despairing about it – both books to a great extent turn around how you convince the world at large to allow these animals to live undisturbed when all the economic incentives point the other way, a question he seems quite acutely aware he lacks a good answer to.

Like everyone else whose parents had Jurassic Park on VHS growing up, I’ve always found the science of de-extinction intensely fascinating – especially as it becomes more and more plausible every day. This book wouldn’t have drawn my eye to nearly the degree it did if I don’t remember the exact feature article I’d bet real money inspired it about a group of scientists trying to do, well, exactly the same thing as the de-extinctionists do in the book (digital resurrection aside). The book actually examines the project with an eye to practicalities and logistics – and moreover, portrays it as at base a fundamentally heroic, noble undertaking as opposed to yet another morality tale about scientific hubris. So even disregarding everything else it had pretty much already won me over just with that.

The book’s portrayal of the future and technology more generally is broader and less carefully considered, but it still rang truer than the vast majority of sci fi does – which is, I suppose, another way of saying that it’s a weathered and weather-beaten world with new and better toys, but one still very fundamentally recognizable as our own, without any great revolutions or apocalyptic ruptures in the interim. Mosquito's got CRISPR’d into nonexistence and elephants were poached into extinction outside of captivity, children play with cybernetically controlled drones and the president of the Russian Federation may or may not be a digital ghost incarnated into a series of purpose-grown clones, but for all that it’s still the same shitty old earth. It’s rather charming, really.

#book review #the tusks of extinction #ray nayler #sff #cli fi

[alpaca-clouds]

About the Development of Myths

Okay, I will talk about more of the specific gods tomorrow again (starting first with the other gods from Stray Gods and then just looking over a variety of gods - I might start just with the greeks and then... venture into other mythologies). But first let me talk about the entire basis of what I have been talking about so far with the origins of Pan and Persephone: Their mythology is not a fixed thing.

Something that I would say education in general really fails on is properly expressing the amount of changes that cultures go through. I wrote about this before just in terms of history: There is not THE middle ages, not THE ancient Egypt, not THE ancient Greece and so on. All of those historical periods lasted for at least a thousand years. Now imagine that in like 500 years someone goes and looks at the 20th and 21st century as: "The World War and Globalisation period". Which I think there is a good chance this will at some point be known at (assuming we do not manage to eradicate our species before that, that is). Yet, you and I both know that if we were talking to someone from 1923 there would be very little we had in common.

Sure, this effect got massively accelerated thanks to the internet. But... You gotta have to assume that the Roman dude from 100 BC would also live in a very different world from the Roman dude of 200 BC. Because a hundred years is always going to involve a lot of change.

The reason we look at those old cultures as unchanging is, that they do not change anymore. And everyone who is neither working with that kinda stuff, nor is a complete geek, will just look at that culture as ONE FIRM THING rather than something fluent.

This is also true in terms of religion and related traditions, though we in the west are even more prone to it than other cultures. Because we do assume Christianity as this one thing. And the bible as this one unchanging thing. Hence the core believe is the same and, so the reasoning goes, was always the same. In fact, if you went to a religious school it is kinda how you were taught. The bible is one thing and always was the same thing. Only... It wasn't and even the basic we hve now does not matter.

Just look at the many Christian subreligions. They all in some way or form believe in Jesus, the one big God and all of that - but what they take from that widely differs. And the bible really does not have a big impact onto what ideals they hold and how they hold mass and how they pray and what not. If you think about it, you will easily see that, right? And if you just look a bit into what you might have learned about history in relation to Christianity, you will also know that this has changed. The role of Jesus has changed. How much the Holy Spirit is looked upon as an active actor. Which saints get venerated. All of that has changed a lot in just the last 50 years. And has changed a ton between the different countries.

And what I now need you to keep in mind that this was the exact same with the Ancient Gods and the religion attached to them. That holds true for the Greek Gods, the Roman Gods, the Egyptian Gods, the Norse Gods... all of them. The way they were worshipped changed over those thousand(s of) years they were worshipped.

So, let me once again talk about the Proto-Indo-European culture. Which is always a doosy and I love it.

The Proto-Indo-Europeans originates probably in the areas of modern day Ukraine and/or Romania and/or southern Russia some time around 5000 BC (scholars argue a bit about the exact temporal placement, just that it was somewhere between 7000 BC and 4000 BC). We do not really know a lot about them, because they did not write stuff down. But we do know that they had horses, were patriarchal, and that they worshipped a polytheistic pantheon that at least involved a Sky Father as one of the highest gods, who controlled the weather and was especially associated with storms and lightning.

These Proto-Indo-Europeans started breaking apart and travelling. Some into Asia, some into Europe and the Arabian/Persian areas. They brought with them their language and religion.

Now, it should be noted that they were not the "original humans" or anything. And that whereever they went... in most areas there were already other people living there, with whom they intermingled. Also whatever land they ended up settling was different, had different environments and this was included into their religious practice. Which made their religion over the years differ bit by bit. So from their pantheon sprang a lot of the pantheons we know today.

But... again, a lot of places they settled had already people living there. Who had their own worship. And that stuff often was also included and merged. Sometimes those other worships were very far reaching, sometimes very local. But some of those deities were picked up and either made part of whatever pantheon was there to come or was merged with an already existing god. And this happened again and again during the time that whatever pantheon was prayed to.

How do we know that, if it was not written down?

Well, mostly due to some archeology, but mostly due to comparative mythology and comparative linguistics. Two fields of science that basically involve people going over a lot of languages or mythologies (which, by the way, at times also includes fairytales and other oral narratives that are not necessarily held as "true", but still told) and basically finding things the reoccur. As well as going back over whatever written stuff we do have and noticing the shifts happening between a text written in 600 BC and a text written in 200 BC.

Now, for all the stuff we have two things that help a lot: a) The old Hindi writings and b) the written stuff from Egypt. Because both go really far back and were very well documented in writing. So basically we always can compare stuff to that and see shifts more clearly.

But, yeah... Technically all the pantheons are very much related. At some point Zeus, Jupiter, Diespiter, Thor, Tinia and Tian originated from the same character. You can even kinda see it in how similar the names are. Susanoo in Shinto-Mythology probably came from this, too, at least in the iteration we actually know about. (There can be some arguments made that a lot of the Shinto gods were shifted through the Buddhist contact, as the original indigenous Japanese cultures were very likely not Indo-European in origin. But given that the Ainu are the only culture whose oral tradition managed to survive this long, while the others either vanished or merged in a way influenced by Buddhism, which comes from Indo-European culture... yeah, it is there now.)

So, what I am saying: Mythology is shifting and always has been shifting. Same goes with religion. Hence the evolution of the Greek Pantheon.

Fun fact: Through comparative mythology we can also find the origins of YHW, the Abrahamitic god. Or God, as you might know him. He is a fascinating one, as he probably started out as a local god associated with harvest and weather in Southern Egypt and was then picked up by the Semitic cultures. He got a more pronounced role in the Canaanite pantheon, where at some point he merged with Baal, the war god. And through some trials and tribulations he finally ended up merging with El(hoim), the top god of the pantheon, with a part of the Canaanites splitting from the culture and developing into what would become the Jewish culture.

Super fascinating stuff. I love it.

#stray gods #hades #history #mythology #proto indo european #early history #neolithic #ancient greece #ancient rome #ancient egypt #greek mythology #christian mythology #egyptian mythology

[compassionatereminders]

Hi! I wanted to answer the anon who was asking about what ADHD meds do & don’t help with as someone who was late-diagnosed and started meds this year. However, the effect of ADHD meds and even experience of ADHD itself varies heavily from person to person, so do keep that in mind!

DO:

- Actually hearing and retaining what people are saying. I was never able to fully experience a college lecture without panic because of only hearing bits and bobs of the lecture, going in one ear and out the other. I can truly focus and actually respond to what people are saying in a single line of thought without desperately trying to stimulate myself as much as possible to maybe get 1/2 of the detail to stick in my brain.

- Time blindness!! At first starting meds it felt like the day went for 500 years. I felt so much slower and mentally calmer, and I was able to complete “simple” tasks in under 15-20 minutes that could normally take me up to 3 hours due to distractions.

- Memory! Off my meds I have an enormously hard time remembering anything I’m trying to accomplish. I bounce from task to task without ever finishing it. On meds I’m able to think “I need to do laundry” and I just. Do the fucking laundry. It’s magical and I’ve cried more than once thinking about how much I’ve spent my life thinking I’m stupid or lazy for not being able to “just do the thing” like everyone else.

- Shutting down/fearful procrastination— I would be stuck doing nothing for days and days because I would want to do a task so badly but overly think about it and essentially paralyze myself in the decision making/getting started process. When I’m on my meds I can just do the fucking thing! Even if I don’t really feel like it! When before I practically had to have the exact perfect circumstance and could never create them, I can just plop myself somewhere and do the fucking thing. Just like I’ve been told all my life— “Even if you don’t want to, do it anyways” except now I have the actual ability to do that like everyone else. Before it was like everyone else was telling me to turn on a light, but I had no switch.

DON’T:

- Help with hyperfixation. Sometimes I can fixate even worse when I’m on my meds, just because my mind is so single stream that I’m able to do things for even more excessive periods. I burn myself out accidentally a lot quicker if I don’t provide myself with manual distractions to take breaks from daily/academic tasks.

- Immediately fix you. It was hard to start meds because I had to unlearn a lot of habits I had developed to cope with my undiagnosed ADHD— such as constantly moving, stimulating myself, having candy, etc. Just because the day became longer didn’t mean my time management became awesome either. I’m still working on tools that help ADHD with my meds!

- Not really a don’t but more so an unexpected side effect was becoming very intensely angry or upset when the medicine wears off. I struggle with emotional dysfunction already but the anger was so severe and I didn’t know that ADHD meds wearing off can cause that.

- Work 100% all of the time. Some days things like stress, poor sleep, poor diet, etc, can alter the way the same dose of meds works for you. Especially if you are nicotine dependent or a regular caffeine consumer, the way your meds work can change on a day by day basis. Some days I feel like the meds aren’t working at all, but more often than not there’s still a difference between myself being unmedicated and medicated.

- Instantly make you better at studying/task completion. Apparently having ADHD for years made me so extremely avoidant of many things that I just don’t have the skill set to do them well yet. Like studying, for example. I still struggle with extreme perfectionism that impedes me outside of ADHD paralysis.

- I’m gonna say it twice but they DONT FIX YOU ON THEIR OWN. Yes, they make your life fucking way better than before especially if you’re an adult with undiagnosed ADHD, but you have to learn how to use tools and learn skills to support yourself for the medication to help you to the max capability! I will definitely say that being on meds helped overhaul my mindset when I’m off meds and improved my perception of myself, but again, the meds can only get me so far!

I hope this helped anon!!!

Thank you for taking the time to share this! I hope anon sees it 💕

#chat with kat

[v4voracity]

HALF A HEART - COD characters x Poltergeist!reader

POLTERGEIST COD AU

⥇❥"Reader" is a literal ghost, AFAB reader and referred primarily as to as "you", sometimes explicitly referred to as a woman, implied to be British and implied to have died in the 1500s/16th century, though the location isn’t relevant for much other than attempted historical accuracy with her death/why she’s in England. Reader is also not said to be of any skin tone or ethnicity, just that she was *likely* born in England. Reader is from a time when afab people weren't commonly educated and canonically has slight trouble reading and learning after her death since she can't access books or learning materials and had to self-teach herself to read and write after death where she couldn't ask for help, this will probably change though after she meets 141. Said information is slightly relevant to the plot, though I can make an alternate version if people want an amab/gender neutral reader :)

also roach is canonically part of this and has little antenna attachments to his helmet because i said so

  ⥇❥Word Count: 4096, excluding warnings and text above the cut.

⥇❥CONTENT WARNING FOR:

↪ Technically age gap? Reader was born and died long before any cod character ↪ possibly historically inaccurate as i was unfortunately not alive in the 1500s nor most of the following time periods ↪ possibly incorrect depictions of a ‘poltergeist’, as reader is an amalgamation of different types of ghosts/folklore (i mainly just didn't want to use the term ‘ghost’ because it’d be confusing with Ghost the character) ↪ possibly OOC characters ↪ american author writing europeans ↪reader is (basically) rasputin with their death ↪ slight mentions of religion or religious themes (mainly about the afterlife, existence of heaven/hell, and brief mentions of witch trials which were mostly religiously motivated.) ↪graphic description of how reader died (witch trials, so think salem witch trials kind of graphic)

let me know if i missed anything or should edit the content warnings!

Link to main masterlist - Link to HALF A HEART sub-list

You have been warned, scroll at your own risk.

Let’s get things straight. You are, for all intents and purposes, dead.

Deader than a doornail, in-fact, you’ve been dead for almost.. 500 years now? Well, you're rounding slightly but nobody cares for the exact amount of time.

Now, that is a long time to be dead for… Well, a long time to be dead but still conscious; a spirit, ghost, apparition, whatever you wanted to call it. If it weren’t for the fact you were more-so apparition than person, you’d almost say it’s like being alive and immortal for longer than god (or genetics, you weren’t picky) ever intended. 

And being ‘alive’ for so long is very boring; especially now that the deep-seeded anger in your heart has faded, those who wronged you long gone and their kin far too distant from them for you to ever wish ill-will towards them. Especially now that the fear you felt, the horrific terror you felt being escorted to your improper grave and the existential dread that hung heavy when you revived, only to realize you hadn’t survived nor been healed for a second chance. No, you were dead; rejected by both heaven and hell, not even worthy for eternal damnation. The only upside to this was that you were still capable of interacting with the living world; more than you could say for the very, very, VERY small number of ghouls you had met in your time of unliving. Apparently you were a bit unusual, you being far more capable and capable of manipulating the living world than the 'run-of-the-mill' ghost.

That being said, your current behavior, which was following around some hunky military men like a lovesick maiden, was totally excusable…

…It wasn’t creepy, no, you weren’t being improper. You were totally just... curious. It couldn’t have been the fact that you died unwed— a pure virgin, hardly having even engaged in romantic acts, as you were devout in your chaste nature. I mean, surely your absolute devotion which led to you never even kissing a man or woman, holding hands or lying with someone earned you a little justification to do… whatever you were doing right now.

Okay, maybe it was a bit creepy. But dying a without so much as ever having ONE cute little date with heated cheeks, bashful giggles, and butterflies in your stomach as your hands brushed each others— FOLLOWED by being forced to go entirely unperceived much less feeling any sort of physical contact or verbal interaction for A COUPLE CENTURIES makes this somewhat understandable.

It’s not like you were really DOING anything, (because, again, that was a wee-bit hard in your current state) you’ve just kind of been following this guy around?

(You followed him around because you overheard people refer to him as ‘Ghost’ and as an actual ghost you found that a little funny)

Then that led to you following his team around. You had, somewhat, messed with the men— not much, mainly flickering lights, closing doors, and moving objects slightly.

There had been slight complaints, but not much indicating they knew they were facing a lonely, dead girl who died unfairly supernatural danger in the form of a poltergeist with abnormally strong powers. Just assumptions that ‘the wiring was faulty’, or that ‘someone must’ve left a window open’, sometimes they just assume someone knocked something over (despite nobody being near said knocked object). Oh, and your favorite was that ‘some stupid recruits moving shit’— speaking of which— the guys you followed were all pretty high-ranking from your understanding and occasionally trained recruits. That was cool in its own right, but it was especially great for you because you could lob stuff at them and get some poor recruit in trouble. It was fun.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t fun enough to keep you entertained. Now, given when you were born and raised it wasn’t a surprise that you weren’t particularly that literate. Your brain (long gone and returned to the ground) wasn’t even physical or attached to you anymore, so it wasn’t a surprise that learning things was often hard for you(something you hated in death, as learning things would help pass the time if it weren't frustrating and near impossible both because you couldn’t access physical hobbies or items like books AND because your brain—or lack thereof— simply didn’t take to information like it used to), but you knew enough of written English to make out most newspapers and documents. Despite that, you had very little clue of the strange ciphers and terms used by the men, even though you had remained mainly around the military base they were staying in for a few months. 

…That was until recently, when you decided you were curious enough to try and actually learn about what they’re doing. You were currently following this guy— Captain Price, you think— because from what you knew (as a woman who died in the middle ages, uneducated, illiterate, dying fairly young by today's standards anyways and having lived without ever partaking in any wars or battles and not ever bothering to ask about any) he was the highest rank of the team, followed by that ‘Ghost’ guy you originally followed (he’s called a lieutenant, a word you hated writing or reading because it was so damn hard to spell or even look at), then this ‘Soap’ fella (A sergeant, another word you weren’t a fan of) and then this ‘Gaz’ bloke (Who was apparently also a sergeant, but he was the second? So he was lower? Why did they need two? And why was one rank worse than the other? You didn’t know and frankly found it stupid.) There were also these other people; Shadow Company or something, you didn’t really get it because the guy who they most frequently talked to from that company was white as a sheet, but whatever.

Anyways, recently you found out that while wandering wasn’t an issue for you (you weren’t ever bound to a particular area, probably because your body, or whatever remained of it, was far from where you died, and you couldn’t really remember where you were when you died so you weren’t particularly attached) it was very hard for you to follow after the ‘vehicles’ they used. Sometimes they used these wheeled inventions called ‘cars’ (which were kinda like the horses, carts, and carriages of your time but not shitty). They also had these things— called ‘helicopters’ or something similar with a different name (again, you didn't know why they made things so complicated but whatever) that were able to take them anywhere by air. Pretty cool if it weren’t for the fact it made following them anywhere exceptionally difficult. So you had to go about a different method if you wanted to actually follow them anywhere.

Possession. 

Not necessarily like the kind you’d seen in a ghost-related movie you watched over an unwitting couple’s shoulder. It was more so just somewhat attaching yourself to someone, letting part of yourself (probably your soul, if you actually had one) attach to theirs, letting them become a tether into the physical plane. The realm of the living. If you pushed it far you could absolutely do like they do in the movies, but you found that kind of scary since you didn’t know how much of your soul was required for that or if you could be exorcized like in the movies. You really only tethered yourself to someone when you first transitioned into… whatever you were now.

 A wraith, at the time, aggressive and vengeful against the man who accused you, the town that raised you then gazed at you hungrily— blaming you for their sins. Calling you a temptress for the beauty you acquired with your maturation, something you were once proud about turned into something you abhorred.

At one point you even felt festering hatred towards the family that raised you. A mother who birthed you only to denounce birthing you, claiming a devil implanted you as a demon of the night that’d ruin their village and took the milk meant for sons, your elder brothers. A father, one who doted on you before as his precious only daughter and youngest, turning his head; unable to watch as you were tied to the pyre and lit ablaze— a man who was cowardly and evasive. The siblings of yours that you grew with— were close with, were cared for by, were raised by! 

All for them to pretend they had nothing to do with you. Or to join the crowd’s jeering turned cheers as you sobbed, salty tears unable to extinguish the fast-growing embers. Not one of them dared to correct the executioner’s methods. Witches, despite stigma, were usually hung or otherwise given quick deaths prior to the burning; but you… 

Oh, poor, poor you. Things weren’t quite done correctly. You were still alive when they tied you to the post, surrounding you with flammables and letting the flames lick up your body. Catatonic, unable to beg for mercy, for them to kill you properly. Though, even if you were able to speak, you probably wouldn’t beg. You were desperate to survive. When they butchered you like the farm animals you’d skinned many times before with your dear-old-dad. Failed to cut the correct places and left you bleeding, conscious but paralyzed in pain and fear as they dragged your body to a make-shift wooden post in the town center. Never let you burn fully, the triumph leaving their voices when they still saw you, struggling— eyes still moving, hyperventilating as your arms thrashed trying to break the burnt ropes, paralysis spell broken by desperation— still living, still struggling, still surviving.

They didn’t have the courage to finish burning you either.

It'd be a poor choice if you were a witch, since burning was supposed to be done to stop them from cursing people…

Actually, now that you’re thinking about it, maybe you were a witch? Maybe you had somehow sold your soul, and with no soul to give you could enter the afterlife? Maybe that’s why you felt a path of fury when you died? You felt wronged and cursed people for nearly half the first century you found yourself un-living.

Regardless, the cowards backed away from you with wide eyes, and eventually you felt the ropes break, your body barely reacting to what you wanted it to do, stumbling around aimlessly despite your efforts.

All you could do was scramble out the village, betrayed and never wanting to return.

Eventually, you fell to a crawl, dragging yourself through the grass, fingernails caked with a mix of dirt and blood, as if your near-corpse was trying to create a shallow grave every time you scraped them across the ground…

Somehow, you ended up falling into a river. You don’t know if you fell  during your crawls or if someone put you in there, just that it was excruciatingly cold and your lungs, shrunken and shriveled by the heat of your incomplete incineration couldn’t get any air. You tried pulling yourself out but you were too far gone. Even then, ‘til the point your eyes closed you never gave up. Maybe you were so against dying your soul remained, even when your body went.

Honestly, you weren’t ever really sure which of those injuries eventually lead to your drawn-out and overdue death, but you didn’t care. What you did care about, upon re-awakening, was revenge, hearing the blood-curdling screams of those who wronged you, those who feigned ignorance, those who lied, and those who threw you out when false accusations came. You were swift in it, tethering yourself to everyone in town, attaching small pieces of yourself meant for one purpose: tracking.

No matter where they went they were damned, your violent-haze, the cravings for others to bear a fraction of your misfortune. You were like a tsunami, quick to approach with little warning, only the quick recession of water to warn those who’d be affected. (Not that your victims knew what a train was, but it was like the equivalent of seeing a train barreling toward you and being unable to move, only able to process what's about to happen.) And you were even swifter to strike, small misfortunes not enough to quell that furious fire inside you— brighter than those that scalded you. All ended in what you thought were well-deserved deaths.

But, that wasn’t what you’d be using them for. Not today, and hopefully never again.

You decided you’d turn up the heat a bit and have these men notice that they were, in fact, haunted and not just clumsy or forgetful. You had an easier time manipulating things when no-one was around, or when someone was alone. Easy prey for the ghoulish you, even if most of these guys could probably have easily broken you in half when you were still alive. It sounded dumb to give yourself away, since they might try to send you back to the rest you used to crave upon first re-animating, but it was necessary to tether yourself.

So… here you were! Fucking around and moving things, only to be met with just minor annoyance by this guy. ‘Price’, for some unknown reason, just seemed minorly peeved by your interactions, not convinced they were supernatural.

You moved his chair and desk(which was pretty hard with how heavy it was) and this guy just groaned about how his superiors treated his office however they wanted when they needed something.

You sent his papers flying, stacks of paperwork sorted neatly into piles of done and yet-to-be looked at, all flying. You flung the pen he used too, sending a blotch of ink onto the floor with the papers, permanently soaking them. Minor annoyance, didn’t even say anything. Just… grumbled. 

Hell, you toppled over a WHOLE bookshelf, loud thud echoing as it fell to the ground and all its contents scattered. And this guy? Grumbling about how the flooring was uneven!

If you had a physical body, you’d be beating your head against a wall right now. Seriously, it was frustrating!

You guessed you had done something correctly though, as he seemed annoyed enough to leave his office and go for a walk. Throughout said walk you continued throwing items and flying through his body, which usually caused people immense discomfort, sometimes to the point of causing panic attacks or full-on freak-outs. All that? Yeah, met with a “Bit chilly today.” or a “Someone outta close th’ windows.”

You were offended, to say the least.

Now, you were in a common room with several other people, including those guys, Gaz and Soap, who now talked to the Price fella. It was harder to interact with things, especially with so many people in broad daylight, in light in general. But you surprised yourself when your frustrations and slight anger led to the lightbulbs in the room flickering several times before simultaneously combusting into sparks and broken glass, all electronics—mainly the radios strapped to almost every soldier in the room—  with speakers blaring loud static as you flung the nearest object, a bench that you didn't initially notice was bolted to the fucking ground out from it and towards Price, and the other two who surrounded him. 

‘Oops..?’

Okay, maybe you weren’t entirely devoid of anger and wrathful vengeance, but you’d like to think your self-control was a lot better than when you first died. You did have around… well, about 400 other years to learn some self-restraint and become slightly less blood-thirsty?

ANYWAYS; Lucky for you they all managed to dodge that heavy and fast approaching bench! good thing they were all trained soldiers who were always on guard Oh, and even better everyone in the room now looked at the uprooted bench with wide eyes and terrified expressions! So… mission accomplished?

Well, sort of?

“The hell?!” Everyone in the room backed towards whatever wall was nearest to them, behind unmoved furniture, or otherwise tactically covered positions as quick as they could, many (including the poor sod you’d been following and the rest of his team) having their guns ready and aimed at the entrances or near the uprooted bench.

…Yeah, you didn’t really wanna deal with this.

So you floated off, through the walls pretending your problems didn’t exist, as you usually did.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You came across something pretty interesting, that Ghost guy was doing some strange hand gestures to this other masked fella (why was everyone here covered almost head to in something?). For a moment you thought they were trying to summon something before remembering that the military used hand signals and stuff. 

Anyways, you now had a new guy to follow! He looked pretty cool and he had these little things hanging off his helmet that remind you of a bug. Something… was slightly off with this guy though. You could’ve SWORN he was occasionally glancing over at you, or your general area. Ghost, who you couldn’t really tell much expression-wise due to him also wearing a mask, seemed to lift an eyebrow. Or furrow them. You didn’t know, you just saw his forehead area shift a bit under the mask. 

“You 'lright?” He turned and glanced over at you, where his bug-like friend kept glancing. Bug-fella looked over at you for a few more moments before shaking his head and gesturing at Ghost again. Ghost seemingly returns to his resting facial position and glances back towards your general direction, not quite as spot on as his friend was. “Y' just keep looking over there, ‘was wondering why.” 

Ghost loses interest quickly, turning away from where his friend was staring, resuming his silent communication with the still-unnamed lad, hand gestures becoming far too fast for you to even comprehend what they were doing even if you did understand what the gestures meant. After a short while of just floating around and watching them, Ghost gives the shorter man a light bump to the shoulder with his fist (seemingly friendly?) and turns to leave. “See y’ round.” 

It’s just you and Bug-boy now. The room empty, and his eyes (not that you can see them, he’s wearing a helmet and goggles that are practically solid with how heavy the glass is tinted) are aimed directly at you. You float over, hovering a good foot or two off the floor because the ground and gravity were for cowards, and stop a few inches away from him. He reaches a hand up towards you, only for it to quickly phase through your arm, then your torso, then back into the air. He’s startled by the feeling, you can tell, shivering as goosebumps raise on his arm and his hair stands on end, you can tell because of his sleeves being bunched up at his elbows. 

“Sorry.” you say, not even sure if he’d hear you. Maybe this was some weird coincidence and he couldn’t actually see you. Though, to your utter surprise and slight delight he kind of waves it off, making gestures (full body ones this time, not the hand-signals you couldn’t quite understand) that you could interpret as meaning ‘not to worry about it’. Your eyes widened, before breaking into a big grin. “Wait, wait, wait, you can see me? You heard me— can hear me?!” He nods, looking at you, observing, then gesturing with his hands again.

You.. feel a little bad that you don’t understand whatever military signs this must be, tilting your head and frowning. “I… I don’t understand. Sorry, I don’t know much about the military signals or whatever you were using. The code signs and words you guys use weren’t around when I lived. Or died.” He seems a little confused, then brings out a rectangle from his pocket— a phone, new invention and quite useful. It lights up as he puts in the code and opens something, pressing at the glass. 

After a moment he turns it towards you. It… takes you a little to adjust to the brightness (and to read the small letters, given your eyesight and low-literacy). “Give me a second, it takes me a minute to read.” In your peripheral he nods, though you don't move your gaze away from the screen.

“That’s fine, not many people know sign language. It’s not a military signal, just a way I communicate since I’m mute.” You read his words aloud, relatively slowly and he nods after you’ve read it; confirming you’ve read it correctly. 

You glance back up at him. “Mute… So you… can’t speak? Right?” Another nod, then he turns the phone back to himself, rapidly pressing the screen and turning it back again. You read again, “What are you? How are you floating, and why’d my hand go through? Why were you watching us?” You hum, floating away from him slightly, sinking slightly to a sitting position, though still remaining affixed in the air and not sitting on an actual chair.

“Well, I’m dead. I guess you could call me a spirit, spectral, a ghost…” you chuckle a bit at the last one. “Well, maybe not that last one, it seems your friend already occupies it.”  You lean forward again, nearly doing a backflip in the air before stopping in a lying position, holding your head in your hands. “I guess me being dead physically but alive… consciously, or spiritually I guess..? Resulted in me being incorporeal, thus not really touchable by people or gravity.” He nods at your words before motioning for you to continue when you pause.

You avert your eyes. “Well, watching people is all I usually can do. Incorporeal and all. I’m not sure how you can see me when I’m not manifested or tethered to you, but it’s nice…” Smiling sheepishly, you can only hope this guy— the only person you’ve actually talked to in a long, long, time— isn’t grimacing under his mask. You hesitate before reaching out towards him, running a finger down his throat in thought, forgetting it'd just phase through. “Maybe it's because you can't speak? It's not a sense but it's like maybe because you don't have one thing your other senses are better? But back to your prior questions. Being dead is… boring. All I can really do is fuck with people and watch stuff. You and your friend, Ghost, and his other… teammates are just what have caught my interest recently.”

He nods and trots over to a nearby bench, you grimace thinking about the mischief you caused slightly earlier by throwing a bench at the captain. Let’s hope your bug-friend doesn’t overhear that and stop talking to you. “What’s your name?” He types, and turns the phone to you, a single word there. “Roach? Like… the bug?” your mouth quirks into a crooked smile and you giggle, flicking the antenna like attachments to his helmet. “Fitting, you got the antennas and everything!” 

Floating down onto the seat, you try your best to sit on it, your bum and thighs slightly phasing through the seat but it's fine. ‘Roach’ begins typing on his phone again, having it set on his thigh so you can watch while he types. It was also probably just in case someone came in or saw him and so he wouldn’t look crazy turning his phone around to nothing (from other people’s perspectives).

“People can’t usually see you?”

You sigh and lean back, accidentally reclining into the wall and to the other side before realizing he probably won’t be able to hear you if you speak. “Oops, I forgot I’d phase through. Uh, yeah they usually can’t unless I’m actively haunting them and choosing to. It takes a lot of energy to do that though, so…” He nods and hovers his fingers over the phone, thinking for a moment.

“What's your name?”

You hum, thinking for a moment. You... haven't had to introduce yourself to anyone in centuries.

"This... well, it's a little embarrassing, but I can't remember."

"Why don't I call you 'Poltergeist' for now then, since Ghost is taken?" You smile at him, your cheeks feel like they've heated up slightly, but not from the lingering burn you got after your death, no, it was the burn of happiness. Giddy from this guy giving you a name, almost like you were a stray. You shouldn't be this happy, clinging to him and internally deeming him your new best friend, but you were.

Your undeath began a new chapter today, now living as 'Poltergeist' (at least until you remembered your name) with your new ghost-inclined friend Roach.

#cod x reader #ghost reader #light angst #cod #call of duty #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #john price #captain price #reader insert #fem reader #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #roach cod #ghost cod #soap cod #task force 141 #task force x reader #x reader #cod mw x reader #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #cod modern warfare

[cricketnationrise]

Dearest Cricket! Congratulations on 500 followers!! I would like to request Alex Claremont-Diaz, in Kensington Palace, at 11:11pm (this feels a bit like playing clue!)

Vibes/rating completely up to you!

❤️lizzie_bennetdarcy

omg it IS like clue, that's such a fun way to think about it. i'm feeling a bit wistful this afternoon, so have some post-canon, insomniatic, yearning Alex 💜🦗

read the rest of the ficlets here!

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

11:11pm, kensington

11:03pm

With one eye on the clock and the other—

Oh, who is he kidding? Alex has both eyes on the clock as he paces anxiously.

Only, it’s after eleven already, and Henry was scheduled to be back at Kensington at ten-thirty, and Alex flew across the ocean today just to surprise his boyfriend. And he’s tired. The worst part of insomnia is that he still gets sleepy. Still gets lethargic, his eyes stingy and droopy, his body feeling like a stretched out rubber band. It would be one thing if his inability to sleep manifested in such a way that he didn’t feel like he had to sleep. But instead he gets the worst of both worlds: exhausted and unable to just fucking rest.

It’s a small comfort that Henry deals with the exact same thing.

11:06pm

Alex wasn’t even going to be in London this weekend, originally. He had exams scheduled for Monday and Henry was… informed he’d be attending three back to back events as a representative for the Crown while Philip and Martha cooed and fawned over their newborn daughter and Bea was already confirmed elsewhere. Alex doesn’t mind the crazy schedule, is excited to meet Henry’s first nibling — but he hates that Henry was pulled away from their home without so much as a cursory check to see if his schedule would allow it. And Alex especially hates that he wouldn’t have been able to attend these events if his schoolwork allowed, that he wouldn’t be able to be a calm moment in the midst of the storm for Henry.

It was that, ultimately, that had him asking his professors to take his exams early, citing a family obligation — he didn’t lie, he just… didn’t correct his teachers’ assumptions that it was a Claremont-Diaz obligation — and flying into Heathrow this evening, a good-humored Cash in tow.

Alex’s head whips around at the creak of the floor from the hallway, but he slumps down again when the noise moves on. Just the night shift patrolling the hall.

11:08pm

The thing is, Alex doesn’t ever want Henry to have to be alone. Not if he can help it. That’s what being together means for Alex — that neither of them have to be on their own if they don’t want to be. And every time Henry gets called back to London for something like this, it’s like a little more of him gets washed away, eroded by the Crown’s expectations.

So if Alex can be there, next to Henry, holding his hand, being a bulwark for him against all of the royal bullshit— 

Alex will move heaven and earth to be by his side without a second thought.

11:11pm

Alex sees the time and stops pacing. 

June had been the one to tell Alex about the eleven-eleven tradition, back in Austin, before their parents had split. June used to yell out the time and make a wish, Alex! whenever they were in the same room. And Alex had closed his eyes and wished for all sorts of things: a bike with no training wheels, extra dessert that night, no homework on Friday.

It’s been years since he made a wish, since he pushed his desires out into the universe and hoped for it to return.

But Alex is right at the ‘not-giving-a-fuck’ level of tired, the point of the night where all he wants is to coil himself around Henry. So he closes his eyes tight, and wishes.

A simple wish, but earnest.

I wish Henry were here.

And like magic, like the universe heard Alex and decided to answer, he hears Henry’s voice, bidding Shaan goodnight, on the other side of the door.

#cricket writes #lizzie-bennetdarcy #ficlet fest 500 #rwrb

[onyourowndaisymae]

fifteen with mammon! maybe breakup angst with mc breaking things off :))

"please don't go."

please don't do this. please stop saying the things you're saying. mammon can't handle you leaving him. not now. not after everything you'd been through.

same old argument. same sentiment you'd repeated over the years. you'd aged by his side, your youth slipping away from you with each year while he remained untouched by the passage of time. you'd always been verbal about your lifespan, a gain of sand in comparison to the vast desert of his own, and yet he'd always pushed the conversation away as it started.

he was scared. scared to lose you, scared to face the idea that there could be a day when he'd look into the crook of his arm where he held you to find the space empty. maybe this was the fear that lilith felt when facing her own lover's mortality. maybe this was the feeling that started the celestial war. fear. fear of loss. all over a human.

please.

"i can't watch you do this to yourself." your voice cracks as tears begin to take hold. mammon can't bring himself to move to your side.

"we can make it work. i don't-- i don't care about that future stuff. i want to be here, now, with you. nobody else."

"i can't even live to see all of our plans through. that's not fair to you. and i think you know that." you sniffle and dig your fingers into your tearducts to stop yourself from crying. "you deserve better."

"I don't want better," mammon insists. "i want you, damnit! we can-- we can find a way to make ya immortal like solomon, or-- or--"

"we've been over this. mammon, i don't want to be immortal."

silence echoed through his bedroom. your words felt like a knife to the chest, each added argument twisting the knife further until he felt weak. his chest was caving in on him with each panicked breath. he can do nothing but listen while you continue, silent tears blurring his vision until you're nothing but a familiar blob of colors.

"i have a family. friends. other humans i love. and humans aren't supposed to live forever. i can't... i can't handle that. i can't handle watching every human i care about die. i... i want normal."

you wipe your cheeks with the sleeves of your sweatshirt and step toward him. you gather the demon in your arms and he lets you. mammon is weak. he knows this kindness from you will do nothing but paralyze him in this moment-- one of the most painful moments of his life-- but he can't help it. he wraps his arms around your waist and buries his face in your chest.

"i love you." you whisper. "i love you more than anything. but i can't put you through that sort of heartbreak. you deserve a love that will last your whole life. not just something that disappears in the blink of an eye."

mammon had never before cursed the circumstances of his creation. he resented angelhood for a lot of things-- the loss of his sister, mainly-- and demonhood a few less. but never did he think that he would be cursing his very existence in either realm. maybe if he had been born human, he could be with you. maybe if he had been born human, he could have found you somehow, started a life with you, grown old by your side. he couldn't imagine it now, but if he could, in this moment, he'd throw away his whole life for a chance to be what you wanted.

but he can't. so instead, mammon holds you in his arms, and he prays. prays that maybe somehow, someway, you'll find your way back to his side.

until then, all mammon can do is to silently hope you change your mind.

ow :')

funny enough, i got another request for prompt fifteen at almost the EXACT same time as this, so i figured i might as well honor both

[500 follower event masterlist] // [obey me masterlist]

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me angst #obey me writing #otome

[novelcain]

I recently watched “The Beautician and the Beast” 1997 (side note: highly recommend watching) and while thinking about it, I get big Wukong X Reader vibs from it!

I know it’s implied that reader is a server, but I can still totally see her as sassy, no nonsense beautician. Though, she would still feel a little self conscious about her skill set compared to the pilgrims; claiming “I’m no one special! I cut hair… that’s all I know.”, but in actuality her skills are very helpful. Often times offering her services to give haircuts for money to passerby’s they meet no the road or as payment to their hosts or inn owners where they’re staying.

Wukong especially likes it because grooming is very important to monkeys. So I imagine how Wukong starts falling for her, is on the journey Wukong’s fur gets more and more tangled and matted, and reader has to convince him to let her help. He sits down in front of her once reader has everything she needs (a comb, a brush [there IS a difference I learned], some scissors, soap, and a bucket of water) and the moment she touches his scalp, Wukong just melts. Reader is just so attentive and thorough with her massaging and brushing, and add in the fact that the poor guy has been touched starved for so long, that by the time she’s done Wukong almost cries!

I also imagine, because Wujing is often depicted with a big bushy beard, that reader often offers to shave or trim it for him.

Wujing: 😱 IT TOOK ME 300 YEARS TO GROW THIS BEARD!!!

Reader: And that’s the exact number of years I could take off your face. 💅

(Omg I just watched the trailer and this is getting added to my watch list immediately)

Honestly, this idea is amazing! Grooming is such a necessary societal skill and yet it is so often over looked. I especially like how you thought of how useful it could be to make money! I love little practical things in fanfics so I almost wish I had thought of it before writing ittw lol

But omg idk if you've ever had to detangle a matt before ong it ain't fun. It's a lot of hard work and can be quite painful especially without the proper products so I'm just imagining that after long hard hours of dematting that Wukong is so overstimulated and frustrated with having to sit still for so long that he's on the brink of tears (but there's no way he's letting anyone see him cry over something like this 😤) that when you finally finish he's ready to bolt but before he can you begin gently washing his fur. Using your nails to massage his scalp. Rubbing your fingers over his tense muscles. And he just melts into it. He hasn't had anyone groom him for over 500 years. This is heaven to him. And the way that you carefully dip him under the water to rinse him off is just so... tender. He can't help but look up at you while you rinse out his hair and think, 'I want it to always be like this.'

Also I love the idea of reader and Sandy just having a spa day like

while they gossip about the working conditions of the future and the Heavenly Realm respectively🤭 which Wukong tries to join in on but reader kicks him out because she knows he didn't do any work

#sandy and reader are besties 💅💅 #skittle answers #isekai'd to the west #ittw #journey to the west x reader #jttw x reader #jttw sun wukong x reader #sun wukong x reader #wukong x reader #monkey king x reader #jttw sha wujing #sha wujing #jttw sandy #jttw sun wukong #sun wukong #monkey king

[booksandabeer]

Hi,

First of all thank you for all the recs you do, it couldn’t be easy doing all that. I just wanted to ask you about your favourite fics where Steve and Bucky were already together during first avenger and get back together in the future? Once again, thank you so much. Even if you don’t answer this I would still be grateful because I got so many of my favorite fics from your blog. You’re amazing and take care.

Hi!

Thank you very much for your kind words. It's lovely to hear that I could help you find some of your favorite fics. 🥰

I've sat on this ask for a few days now because it's actually a really difficult one for me to answer/find recs for without getting into things that can be quite, uh, awkward to discuss "on main." But I will try. As always, I'm going to ramble, so I'll put this under a cut.

(There will be fic recs in here, I promise. Just scroll down if you want to skip the waffling.)

So. When it comes to fics set in canonverse, I mostly stick to either stories that end before the war or stories where Steve and Bucky only get together once they meet again in the future. I hardly read fics with the premise you've described in your ask because—and this is where it gets dicey—they are rarely ever done in a way that I personally find satisfying.

Here’s the thing: If you read a story set in canonverse, inevitably, at some point the war will arrive and with it: Peggy. Now there’s a much larger, much more complex discussion to be had here about Steve’s perceived sexuality, societal expectations of what constitutes "successful masculinity" in the 1930s/40s, and self-repeating and -reinforcing cycles of fanonization that I don’t want to get into right now, so I’ll just say this: Unless the author goes the polyamory route (which I personally don’t care for and therefore don’t read; at least not in that particular combination), usually none of the characters involved come out of such a scenario looking their best or like they haven’t received a personality transplant from one chapter to the next. I know that some people love that kind of conflict and are really into the angsty drama that comes with it—and they may find my stance on this boring and square—but to be honest with you, there’s already plenty of angsty drama in any story involving Steve and Bucky to begin with; I don’t need this on top of it.

And also—look, to be very blunt about it: If I click on a Steve/Bucky story I want to read a Steve/Bucky story, and decidedly not a story about Steve falling in love with Peggy halfway through—especially not when he’s already been practically married to Bucky for years. I'm okay with scenarios where Steve falls in love with her (or the idea of her, really) because he cannot or thinks he cannot be with Bucky for reasons ranging from very reasonable to entirely idiotic, but in a world where they are already together? Honestly, no thanks. I don't want it.

(Also, let's not even pretend that I don't have a huge Bucky-bias.)

But! you asked for recs and not 500 words of waffling, so I went through my lists and bookmarks to find stories that either try to grapple with this *problem* in a sensitive and thoughtful manner, find elegant ways around it, or simply skip over it entirely.

Here we go:

(Note: The exact meaning of 'Being Together' can vary greatly from story to story)

A Tree Grows In Brooklyn by newsbypostcard | 6 parts, 146K, T-E

Author's summary: "You keep asking me what I want," Bucky manages, eventually. "But on any given day, my number one priority is to get through the day alive and myself, and to do it without killing anyone. Everything else is extra." Each work is a standalone.

-> A Post-CW AU that also tells Steve and Bucky's history with each other through flashbacks. Apart from this series, you can really read any story by this author because they do this neat thing where they use roughly the same pre-war/wartime backstory and then depending on when they wrote it and where MCU canon was at the time, the fics branch off from there. Plus, all of their stories are simply wonderful and I will alway recommend them any chance I get.

The Good Morrow by Hark_bananas | 75K, E

Author's summary: Every night, Steve falls asleep and finds himself dreaming about a diner, and every night he finds Bucky waiting for him there. But in the waking world, Bucky has disappeared, gone on the run after the fall of the Triskelion and Project Insight, and the strange dream that they share may be the only way that Steve has to bring him home.

après nous le déluge by tomorrowsrain | 9K, T

Author's summary: After us, the deluge. Steve and Bucky break, mend, and try to find their place in the world without the mantles of Captain America or the Winter Soldier. AU, post Civil War.

-> Part 1 of gale song series, the second part of which which I recced in my Road Trip Rec List. In fact, there are quite a few fics on that list that fit the premise of 'together before/during the war and getting back together in the 21st Century,' so if you haven't already, you might want to take a look at it!

Roll On by jaxington | 3 parts, 306K, T-M

Author's summary: In 1938, there's a bar in Brooklyn called Sully’s where people are safe to be themselves. Behind the bar, a girl pours drinks. She's always got a big smile for Steve and she says queer like it's a good thing. On a regular basis, she takes his shoulders in her hands and tries to shake sense into him, saying, "When will you do something about that best friend of yours?" In 2012, Bucky’s gone, but Steve’s not, and the girl’s hands are too old to shake him. She does her best to make him see sense anyway. Steve had people who loved him before the war, and it turns out a few of them are still around when he finally comes home.

Practice Makes Perfect by nekare | 10K, M

Author's summary: And it’s just. It’s too much. Weeks of pain and months of missing Steve and his mouth and the stupid shit that comes out of it; years of molding himself to his back at night and pretending there’s nothing else to it apart from sharing warmth; a decade of his stomach twisting with the foolish desire to make Steve laugh.   It's August and sweltering when Steve asks, out of nowhere, if Bucky wants to try kissing. Just to see what it's like. Bucky then spends far, far too many years pretending it didn't mean anything at all.

a hat, a horse (a Hyundai), and the will to ride by synonym4life | 67K, E

Author's summary: After Steve and Bucky rescue their pals from the Raft prison, they decide to dig deeper into Zemo’s involvement in the UN headquarters’ bombing which sends them on a backpacking trip across select European countries. Steve and Bucky believe this is a story about their mission. Scott Lang and Sam Wilson, who join them halfway through, believe it’s a story about their Eurotrip (and they’re probably right). This writer, however, has been waiting to tell you that the fic’s true mission is Steve and Bucky missioning towards missionary. Follow them on their journey across Europe in tiny cars, packed subway trains and even on skis as they tumble down the Swiss Alps (in a fun way this time!), all the while reigniting untold feelings of the past through inappropriate sexual encounters and terrible communication skills.

Five times Steve kissed Bucky by paragon | 16K, T

Author's Summary: (+ once, finally, it was the other way around)

-> I'm very amused by how short this summary is, but the fic really is exactly what it says on the tin: Steve and Bucky kissing, pre-war to post-CA:TWS.

I Wanna Live in the Hidden Parts of Your Skin by Voylitscope_speed | 10K, E

Author's Summary: Sometimes, Steve looks at Bucky across the floor of their apartment or in the middle of the sidewalk, and it's not goddamn fair how good Bucky looks. It's not fair how Steve, who's spent his whole life fighting with his lungs for air and his heart for a steady beat, sometimes looks at Bucky and his breath and pulse are wrong for reasons that aren't his lousy health at all. And ever since the day with the purple ink, Steve can't stop thinking about people being canvases, like the models at that exhibit. Steve keeps thinking that Bucky'd be the most stunning canvas a guy could ever ask for. (Or: Steve and Bucky discover a kink in 1940. They find a reason to come back to it 80 years later. )

All The Angels and The Saints by Speranza | 48K, E

Author's summary: In which Steve Rogers loses God and finds God and loses God, and also: Bucky.

-> Look, this fic does some of the exact things I said above I usually try to avoid, but (1) it doesn't really do it (kind of, it's hard to explain), and (2) it would be *absolutely ridiculous* to not include it when putting together a list of fics with a pre-war to post-WS arc. This fic is legendary for a reason. It rewired my brain. It was one of the first Stucky fics I read that made me realize and appreciate the full potential and beauty of this ship, and to this day, it remains one of my absolute favorites.

▶ I'm really sorry that I didn't write something for every individual fic like I usually do, but I'm moving back to my home country in less than three weeks, so time is very limited right now. I hope this is still ok, and that you'll find something on this list that you like!

▶ There is a series that would've been perfect for this list but unfortunately it was deleted without warning a few months ago. If anybody has a saved copy of apricotcake's long is the road that leads me home that they'd be willing to share with me, I would be forever grateful! I'm still so sad that it's gone and angry with myself that I didn't download it when I had the chance. :(

#stucky fic rec #stucky rec list #stucky #stucky fic #steve x bucky #steve x bucky fic rec #stevebucky fic rec #stevebucky #asks #my recs

[anemhoez]

That Spark…

Mafia!Thoma/AFAB Sex worker!Reader

words: 4k

A/N: Some things about the story!!

Character Ages

some ages for the characters aren’t specifically given in the Genshin canon, so i went by the median age i found.

Thoma is said to be a young man aged 20+ (i assume hes the same age as Ayato, who is about 24 and the head of his clan

Ayaka is at least 18-20 as the eldest daughter of the Kamisato clan

Sara is a general of an army and is said to be at least 20-22

Yae Miko is like, a 500+ year old yokai lol

I just want to be clear on their ages cause we do NOT write minor characters into sexual situations on this page!

Yae Miko’s name

I KNOW MIKO IS A TITLE!

I promise im not uncultured, i know its a shrine maiden title but im going to call her Miko in this story 😌 if it’s what Ei calls her, its what ill call her 😀 (ive seen fans call her yae or miko, others say the kanji for her name is different so its not the same meaning) but for this story its Miko hehe

————————————————

WARNINGS: language, unprotected sex, mentions of smoking

This is a work of fiction and is not relevant to the Genshin Impact lore! All characters (except the reader ofc) and settings belong to Hoyoverse (DONT SUE ME THANKS)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

————————————————

It was time for celebration in inazuma since the Sakoku Decree was finally lifted. Vision bearers were now allowed to roam free in the streets without scrutiny. The city buzzed with excitement as you walked through the growing crowds, loud fireworks crackling in the distance. Since It was your day off from work, you were on your way to Komore Teahouse, and you couldn’t think of a better way to relax than meeting friends and enjoying some great food and conversation. Upon entering the teahouse, you greeted the staff politely and made sure to give Taroumaru his pets and ear scratches. The usual stoic canine wagged his tail in excitement. When you reached the second floor, you could already hear the boisterous laughs of the friends you were meeting. “Hey everyone!” you exclaimed as you walked in greeting your friends Ayaka, Miko, and Sara. They all greeted you back with cheers, “Y/n, finally! I cant for the life of me remember the details of that one encounter you had with the Kairagi guy,” Miko asked, “What did he call his manhood again?” she asked with a finger to her chin. You giggled remembering the exact story she was referencing. The three of them were your closest friends, and stories of your past adventures were something you were more than comfortable sharing. “He called it his, mighty Orobashi,”you said with your fingers making air quotes, “when the poor thing wasn’t even the size of a baby garden snake.” The women erupted in laughter, “The audacity of some men,” Sara said sarcastically before taking a sip of her tea, “You would think with the kind of discipline they have in battle, they would at least have some kind of humility in bed.” Miko giggled, “No such thing as humility when it comes to men and their desires.” The four of you chatted about the outlander, and their victory against the mighty Shogun. Miko sighed recalling her role in the whole ordeal, “The amount of planning on my part, so troublesome,” her voice calm,” “but if its whats best for her, and the people, then so be it.” You rolled your eyes at her, “So is it you we should be thanking Lady Guuji ? The sacrifices you must have made!” you teased with the most sarcasm you could muster. Before the snarky pink haired woman could reply, a waitress came to your table and bowed to you all. “My apologies, but theres someone asking for you.” she said gesturing towards you. You were a little taken aback, seeing as how anyone who could have been looking for you was currently at this table,“Thank you, Ill be right there.” you said and stood up. “Well, well, looks like you’re quite the popular person,” Miko said, “we’re expecting all the details upon your return darling.” You walked down the stairs and were greeted with the one person you did not want to see on your day off, “Boss? What is it?” The woman before you sighed, “Now Y/n, you know I wouldn’t be here in person if it wasn’t of the utmost importance,” she explained, leaning in closer to you, “look, i know its your day off but i need you, we’re so busy tonight.” You sighed, a hand coming up to your forehead, “I cant believe this.” She just shrugged, “Well, believe it, the whole towns celebrating and were booked, I just might have to pitch in soon.” You laughed at the thought, “Alright boss, please don’t go and pull a muscle, i’ll be there soon.” you joked. The older woman scoffed, “What exactly is that supposed to mean?!” she yelped at you as you headed back to your friends. “Sorry ladies, but I’m being called in,” you said and hugged each one of them. Ayaka frowned, “It was nice catching up with you anyway Y/n, oh i almost forgot,” she said suddenly, “Yoimiya mentioned something about some new fireworks she was planning on setting off later tonight, maybe if you have time?” she asked sweetly, it was always so difficult to say no to her. “Ill try my best to make it Ayaka, by the shore right? Closest to her store?” She nodded and with that you waved goodbye to them and headed out.

You hurried to your workplace, the red lights above you lining your path as you walked up to the building. Patrons stood outside, smoking cigars and singing songs of past victories. A man held the door open for you and you headed in, the familiar sounds of sex meeting your ears. Your boss turned to you after realizing you were finally here. “Thank the Archons!” she exclaimed and brought you over to a man who was leaning up against a nearby wall. “This is Y/n, theyll be taking care of you tonight,” she said softly , her tone completely different from the one she used in private, “If theres anything else you need, please don’t hesitate to let us know.” The tall blond before you nodded, a bright smile spreading across his face, “Thank you,” he chimed, his voice filled with cheer, “Im Thoma.” His eyes scrunched into half moons as he smiled wide. You bowed in front of him, ”Right this way Thoma.” your voice soft and welcoming as you gestured for him to head up the stairs. He headed up the creaky steps while your boss pulled you aside by your arm. “Listen Y/n, hes with the Yashiro commission, you make sure you do whatever he wants, understand?” You simply nodded and headed up the stairs to meet your client.

“This way,” you instructed and he followed you down the hall. The moans and whines of your colleagues even louder now, “Hows your day been?” you asked trying to make idle chit chat. He sighed, “Eventful.” Was all he said. The two of you reached the door to your room and you held it open for him, “After you.” He entered the room, but stayed by the door, worried it’d be impolite of him to just sit somewhere without permission. You laughed and closed the door, making sure to lock it. “Please Thoma, make yourself at home.” He just nodded and began to remove his shoes and jacket. You stole a glance at his lean figure. His toned arms were decorated with tattoos of various designs and colors. You noticed a familiar looking dog on his left arm, “Wait a second, I recognize him!” You walked up to him and examined the portrait of Taroumaru, “Would you believe it? I just saw this little cutie,” you explained with a smile thinking about the sweet pup. “Really? That’s my buddy,” he said with a giggle, looking cheerfully at the ink portrait, “I’ll miss him now that I’m not hiding out at the teahouse anymore.” He placed his jacket at the back of your vanity chair and looked at you. You eyed him up and down, his toned form under his tight shirt catching your intense gaze. “You like what you see?” he asked with a cocky grin. “Hmm, maybe?” you joked and you began disrobing in front of him. You pulled your loose dress over your head and tossed it aside. He stared at you now, his beautiful green eyes trailing up and down your form. You wore a simple set of undergarments, nothing as fancy as you could have had on if you had more time to prepare. But it seemed like he didnt care much anyway, what with the way he was biting his bottom lip, practically eye fucking you. “You’re gorgeous,” he said and walked closer to you. “Thank you, please sit” you motioned with a hand towards your bed. He obliged, sitting on the edge and letting out a sigh. “So, your boss wanted me to see you specifically, huh?” You walked up and knelt down before him, “Thats right,” your voice low and sultry, “and you’re about to find out why, Thoma.” Your hands trailed up his thighs, the tight muscles taught underneath his pants. You made your way to the hem of his pants and prepared to undo then when he stopped you suddenly, “I almost died today.” his voice so matter of fact you just stood up, “Oh,” you said plainly, not really sure what to say next. “well, I cant say thats the craziest thing i’ve ever heard while on my knees.” Thoma chuckled, reaching out and taking you by the hands gently, “My apologies, its my first time in a place like this so,” his thumbs rubbed the back of your hands softly, “I guess I’m kind of nervous?” Being nervous was understandable, but blurting out about your near death experience was, kind of sad. “I see,” you said and took a seat next to him, “Would you like to talk about it?” Thoma shook his head, “Nah,Its just, being that close to death, in front of the Shogun? Kind of gave me some clarity.” His voice was low as he turned towards you, bright green eyes full of a renowned vigor for life. “What kind of clarity?” you asked apprehensively, worried if you pried too much, youd end up on the Yashiro Commissions list. “That I should, be as nice to myself as I am to others.” After hearing those words, you realized how heavily you could relate. Your whole job was to take care of others, oftentimes at risk to your own sanity. “So, you ended up here as a way to, be nicer to yourself?” you asked with a wiggle of your eyebrows. He laughed hard, “Seems that way, yeah,” he leaned back on his elbows, and you placed a hand on his thigh, “You’re in the right place Thoma.” Your hand squeezed and he looked at you with lustful eyes, “Ill take really good care of you, I promise.” He flashed a bright smile and you wondered if his face ever got tired from how much he did that. “Is it alright if, you take them off?” he asked softly and pointed to your underwear. “So polite,” you said with a grin, “you must be the nicest guy in Inazuma.”

Thoma watched as you stood up and reached around to undo your bra, the light fabric falling to the floor. You reached down to take off your underwear, “Wait, turn around.” he commanded with a low, sultry voice. You did as he requested and turned, your plump ass facing him. you looked back over your shoulder and kept eye contact with him as you slowly pulled down your underwear. Your body bent over as you pulled them off of your feet and heard him curse under his breath. He reached out, taking a handful of your ass in his hands. “Actually, I should probably thank the shogun,” his voice was deep as you felt him lower his head closer to your ass, “had she not tried to kill me today,” he spread your ass cheeks and spit on your hole, “I probably wouldn’t have had the chance to have you like this.” He licked up his own saliva against you, causing you to whine at the sensation. his tongue entered your asshole and began exploring. “Im at your service,” you huffed out and held his head closer to you, “Even the gods cant stop us now Thoma.” He gripped at your plush thighs, his tongue lazily licking up your folds after rimming your asshole a bit. His mouth pulled away with a wet smack and he stood, pulling you into an embrace and moved his hands down your belly, “Tell me what you want Y/n,” he whispered in your ear as his fingers found your wet and waiting cunt. He inserted his fingers into you, curving them and easily finding your spot. “There, faster!” you pleaded while the vulgar, wet squelching sounds that came out of you had him whispering praises in your ear. “Your so wet, I cant wait to have a taste” Your knees buckled, his skilled fingers and words of praise making you weak. You could feel yourself coming undone, just by his fingers so you moved away from him, his fingers coming out of you and directly into his mouth. He licked his fingers clean, sitting back down on the bed, “Feels too good, yeah?” he said cockily. You had had your doubts about him, but with the way he was licking you off of him, and the moans that fell from his lips as he did so, you knew then that he definitely knew what he was doing, and you were more than grateful for it.

You came up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Yeah, but id rather cum on your cock than on your fingers.” You said before kissing him, tasting yourself on his lips. You felt your self being lifted off of the ground suddenly, his strong arms holding you close. He moved to bring you onto the bed and the two of you bounced lightly on the mattress. Thoma stood up and hurriedly removed his shirt and pants, fumbling over his belt buckle as he did so. “Slow down, the shogun isnt after you anymore.” you said and crawled over to the edge of the bed to meet him. You helped him with the buckle on his pants, looking up at him as you did so. “We have the whole night, and you can do whatever you want with me.” you said as you reached down to wake his member. You tugged on it, heavy and warm in your hand, the prominent veins throbbed. He pushed his pants off and stepped out of them. Your free hand then pulled his undergarment down while your mouth dribbled saliva onto his dick, your eyes darting up to look at him. Thoma placed a hand behind your head and you bent down and took him into your mouth. You sucked his tip, swirling your tongue around and mixed your saliva with his own seed. His hand was gentle at the back of your head as he pushed you onto him further. Your hand stroked and squeezed easily with how messy you were making him. He moaned in appreciation watching you as you worked. “Archons, your so pretty on my cock.” words of praise huffing out of his mouth as you gurgled on his length. The long organ at the back of your throat caused you to gag, but you breathed through your nose to accommodate him. He thrust into your mouth slowly, enjoying the way your eyes began to tear at his ministrations. He pulled you off of him with a pop and rubbed his hard dick along your cheeks, making even more of a mess on your face. You took his dick back into your mouth and sucked, tugging at his sack as you did so. “Fuck,” he growled and pulled you back off quickly, bringing a thumb to your mouth and smearing your saliva that was stained white with his pre-cum over your mouth. You sucked his thumb, desperately needing something in your mouth to suck on. You gazed into each others eyes, sharing the same lustful thoughts. The quiet as you stared at each other was deafening, no words being said, but a knowing stare shared.

He moved to lay over you, his broad shoulders and toned arms covering you at either side, He observed your face, sticky and sultry, “Enough to make the gods themselves jealous, how did i get so lucky?” he asked rhetorically before you maneuvered yourself from under him, pushing him down onto his back and seating yourself on top of him. You hovered over his cock, rubbing the his tip over your folds. You stared at him devilishly before using a hand to help guide him in. You sunk down, bottoming out and feeling his cock nestle at your cervix. You hoped that the Gods were in fact watching, immensely jealous at how youd be worshipping Thoma tonight instead.

He hissed, so desperate and eager to fuck you right then and there, but being the gentleman he was, he waited for your next move. After all, you were the one who was on the clock, and by the Seven Archons, you would prove to him that you were just that great at your job. You moved your hands along your body sensually and he watched you intently, almost as if you’d disappear right before him if he didn’t keep his desperate eyes on you. As he bit down on his bottom lip, his eyes went dark with lust as you began to slowly move up and down onto him, rolling your hips against him and eliciting the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard from a man. “Ah, you feel,” he stopped to breathe as you moved up and down on him again, this time agonizingly slow, “fuck, so good.” he finally huffed out. You placed your hands on his toned abdomen, working your body on top of him making sure to let Thoma know exactly why you were the most desired in Inazuma. Strong hands came to grip your ass as you rode him hard. He groaned and moved his hips up, meeting yours in a fever. You moaned and threw your head back “Yes Thoma, like that!” you yelped while your hands squeezed your breasts hard. You whined his name loudly, the sound making him move faster against you. Your walls fluttered around him, muscles clenching down as he brought you closer with every hard and delicious drag of his cock in and out of you. The man under you fucked you hard and fast, as if he had something to prove, and with a few more thrusts, you were sent right into a very deserved euphoric peak You cried out his name once more, cumming hard on him. He leaned up and took your chin gently in his hand, “can I,” he huffed out his next words while still pumping into you, “can I finish inside?” he asked sweetly. You were still trying to catch your breath, your pussy throbbing in bliss. All you could do was just shake your head no, and the man quickly pulled out of you. He tugged on his member, his seed spurting out in hot, sticky ribbons all over your stomach. The beautiful man grunted and moaned as he came, his body completely spent and moving to lay next to you afterwards. You caught your breath slowly milking your orgasm by squeezing your legs together, “Today was my day off, by the way.”you huffed out. Thomas tired laugh echoed through the room, “No way,” he looked over at you, “I almost die, you almost don’t come into work,” he moved your damp hair out of your face, “i’d say this is fate Y/n” You leaned in and kissed him, his lips parting to welcome your tongue. Whether it be fate, or the gods themselves you didnt care, cause the guy you were currently kissing was one of the few men to bring you to such an incredible climax.

Soon, you both cleaned up with some warm water and a cloth from the nearby basin on the vanity. He helped clean you up, kissing the spots on your stomach where his seed had just been wiped off. You slipped into your silk robe, and he helped you tie it at your waist. He finally turned from you, grabbing his clothes to get dressed. While turned away from you, and for the first time, you saw the vivid full back tattoo common amongst the members of the Yashiro Comission. You gazed at the intricate detail, wondering how you had missed seeing it before. Once he finished dressing, and checking to make sure he had his vision at his side, he turned back to you. You cocked your head to the side, curious about something. “Your vision, can i ask how you received it? I’ve always been curious about how the gods choose who gets one.” He held it, rubbing his thumb along the bright red orb, “I pledged my loyalty to the Kamisato clan, I suppose the gods favor such righteous endeavors.” in your mind you knew there wasnt anything righteous about organized crime, but it wasnt any of your business to question that. And youd be lying to yourself if you said you werent curious about what kind of man Thoma was. And this night with him? It made him seem like a sweetheart, a gentleman who kissed you all over and asked what you wanted instead of focusing on himself. He cleared his throat, abruptly bringing you from your own thoughts. “So, you think we could, do this again sometime?” his nervous laugh making him just that much more annoyingly cute. “Are you, asking to be one of my regulars? That’s a very coveted spot in this city.” The tall blond laughed and walked with you towards the door, “I’m sure I’m more than capable of earning my place.” he said, a somewhat cocky grin on his face. You moved in and adjusted the various ornaments on his jacket, getting him put back together nicely before he met the outside world again. “Come by and ask for me anytime, I’ll take care of you.” you said and opened the door for him. He tried to hide his cheeky grin and slight blush on his cheeks but you caught it anyway. “Oh! I almost forgot.” he said in shock and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small pouch of mora and handed it to you. You took it from him, almost forgetting completely just who you were, and why he was here in the first place. “Right, thank you, enjoy the rest of your night Thoma.” You said sweetly before he waved and turned away without another word.

Almost as soon as he had left, your boss hurried up the stairs and straight into your room. “WELL?!” she exclaimed excitedly, bursting through the door without a knock. You explained that everything went well, and that there was nothing to worry about. You followed the house rules, making sure he didn’t finish inside of you, but you didn’t give too much away of course. Those special, sweet moments were reserved only for you. Also per house rules, you handed over half of your mora to the woman who now held her hand out to you. You couldn’t really complain about it considering you were one of the few workers who were paid more, but you worried if itd ever be enough to pay your debts off and finally leave. After receiving her share, she thanked you for coming in and headed back to her post downstairs.

The night was cool and crisp as you hurriedly made your way towards the beach. You quickly removed your sandals at the sandy stones that led from Yoimiyas store. Holding them tightly in your hand, you rushed to meet up with your friends. With the cool sand at your feet, you soon found your friends who waved to you. Yoimiya beamed upon seeing you. “Y/n! Glad you could make it!” Miko took you by the arm and pulled you close to her side, “You alright? I don’t need to go over there and give them all a piece of my mind do I?” She was always making sure you were alright after work and the gesture always made you feel loved. “No need to worry, everything went well.” Yoimiya began the countdown and the sky soon erupted with beautiful sparkles as the fireworks bursted loudly. Silhouettes of slimes and symbols exploded above, your heart full as you watched closely. You couldn’t help but feel at home amongst the people you loved while cheering and enjoying the light show. Ayaka was suddenly called away by a pair of Yashiro Commission guards who were there to protect her and make sure she arrived home safety. You kept a close eye on her as she walked up to them and before you looked back up at the sky, you noticed a familiar face. Thoma walked up and began talking with Ayaka as well, bowing before giving her a smile. They exchanged greetings and some words before she turned and headed back towards you all. He followed her with his eyes and met your gaze. You blushed a little, remembering what had just happened between the two of you not too long ago. He smiled wide at you, his eyes doing that endearing half moon eye smile that you admitted to yourself, was growing on you. All you could do was smile back as Ayaka took your hand in hers, “I’m so glad you could make it!” she said with glee. “Me too.” you said with a smile. You looked back up at the night sky, grateful for the set of circumstances that brought you to meeting someone like Thoma. “Glory to the shogun I suppose.” you thought sarcastically in your mind. You hoped to both her and Celestia above, that you’d get the chance to see him again.

————————————————

A/N: Here it is! Hope you all enjoy it as much as i do lol 🧡

#genshin impact #genshin impact smut #thoma smut #thoma genshin #genshin thoma #i love him alot #thoma #genshin reader insert #genshin reactions #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #thoma x reader

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hi! So I’m trans and I’ve been going by my preferred name for a long time, and everyone calls me that name (except for family who are transphobic). But basically, I want to legally change my name. I still get called my deadname a lot when it shows up on legal stuff and I hate it. So I need to convince my mom So my question is, how can I bring this up and convince her to let me change it? I already know the legal process.

Lee says:

You know the legal process already which is a great first step! But knowing what the process will entail both legally doesn't mean that you've fully considered the logistics.

Start by making a list of all the places where you will have to update your name (school, doctor's office, bank, social security, health insurance, etc) and then look into what each of them requires to update your name.

There's a lot of paperwork that needs to be done when someone changes their name, and you want to show that you're aware of that, you've read all of the applicable policies/guidelines already and you're prepared to handle it yourself.

Convincing your mom that you're ready for the decision will also be easier if you can show her how committed you are to it. In total, a legal name change can cost $500 or more (in some cases; some people pay less depending on the fees where they live and if they are eligible for fee waivers for court fees) and you'll need to calculate that exact cost for your situation.

You'll probably need to pay court fees (often $250 or more), a few certified copy of the original name change decree (often around $10 per copy), the cost of a new ID if you have a learner's permit, driver's license, or non-driver's state ID (often $13 or more), plus the cost of a new passport and passport card (around $160), an updated birth certificate (around $55), etc. And of course you'll also need to think about the fees for mailing things through the post office.

Depending on your state's laws, you may also need to pay to publish notice of the petition in the newspaper for some amount of time like three consecutive weeks if your local newspaper charges for notices to be published, and you may have to pay to have documents notarized.

Now that you've calculated what the cost of changing your name will be, you need to find a way to get that money. Once you've saved up all the money that you'll need to change your name, move on to the next step.

Finally, collect all the information that you'll need (save all the links to a document or print the website pages) and print out all of the forms that you'll need (court forms, social security forms, passport forms, school policies and forms, etc). Don't think of this as something you're doing to convince your mom-- you're doing this for yourself, because it's what you need to do!

In this situation, I'm assuming that your mom supports calling you by your chosen name and isn't included in the 'family who are transphobic' category. I'm also assuming that in your state you either need only one legal guardian to consent to a name change, or you only have one legal guardian (your mom), or you only need to convince your mom and then she will convince your other parent.

Getting your mom on board will be easier when you can show her that you've fully considered the process of legally changing your name, but you also have to convince her that 1) it's something that you NEED to do, and 2) it's something that you need to do NOW and not when you're 18 or older.

Having that type of conversation isn't easy, but it's a good opportunity to show off your maturity. That means listening to her concerns and actually addressing them, not yelling at her (I know you wouldn't but I have to say it!! Some people do!!), trying to stay calm and taking deep breaths, etc.

If she says that she's worried that you'll change your mind because you're young, tell her that you've been using this name for years and are unlikely to change your mind.

If she doesn't understand why you can't just wait until you're older to change your name legally, show some vulnerability, get emotional, and talk about how being deadnamed affects your levels of gender dysphoria, how often you come across your deadname, how your mental health will be improved when you can change it, etc.

Recognize that you'll likely need to have multiple conversations with her on the topic and it won't be a single one-and-done in a day-- it may take several months before you win her over. Try to keep the big picture in mind. If you have a therapist, they may be able to help you prepare for talking with her.

Finally, remember that you know your mom the best! The things that might have convinced my mom aren't necessarily the same things that will convince your mom. The things that my parents were worried about may not be the same things that your parents were worried about. You are the only one who can figure out what the right path is for you to achieve your goal.

The last thing I'll note is that sometimes you can't win every battle. I was able to convince my parents to let me change my name legally as a minor, but I wasn't able to medically transition until I turned 18.

If you aren't able to convince your mom to let you change your name, remember that it isn't the end of the line. Eventually, you will be 18. And all of this work that you've done will make it much easier for you to change your name at that point-- you'll have all the paperwork at the ready!

It can be difficult to be unable to transition in a way that you need to, but know that you'll survive and you'll get there eventually, and you need to take care of yourself (physically and mentally!) in the meantime to be at your best when it is time for you to achieve that goal.

Followers, any advice for anon on convincing a parent to let you legally change your name as a minor?

#Lee says #legal name change #parents #trans #transgender #legal name change as a minor

[moyokeansimblr]

I uh...might have done a thing. 😮

Yesterday I went downloading for like 7 hours... I went through the poppet hairs tumblr all the way as far back until before v2 was made and opened tabs of every creator there was and downloaded 1000+ alpha hairs in poppet v2 textures/colors. Then today after weeding through and deleting anything I didn't actually like and/or duplicates I've ended up with 658 different hairstyles. 👍

Why did I do this? Well, three primary sources are to blame. 😆

how freakin hot acottonsock's ajay loner is (this is actually the catalyst)

keoni's gameplay pics

kayleigh-83's gameplay pics

But also I've always kinda wanted to try poppet hairs 🤔 in fact I did try this exact thing a few weeks ago but my download sample didn't convince me so I kept using clay. Then platasp released her defaults which tbh I feel a little bad about giving up on already but I've been losing interest in clay for a while now I think actually. the defaults gave them a bit more life but I'm not quite so sure atm.

Back in the day when I used more realistic cc my primary hair system was pooklet/io/digi etc but back then I also downloaded anything and everything. When I first switched to maxis match I started with NHS but at the time there wasn't enough styles in it for an addict like myself and I ended up switching to simgaroop. Then I switched to using only clay hairs in eaxis colors. But I've always kinda liked poppet's colors and wanted to give them a shot. I haven't downloaded any defaults yet (although I know rudhira and loosiap will have me set) because I just wanted to focus on custom to start.

I haven't yet put them in my main game so everyone in Strangetown still has their clay hairs atm (and obviously will for the rest of what's currently in my queue) but my plan is to make a backup of the hood and label it clay and then go in and give everyone new hairs and see how I feel. In the meantime, here's my fav cc model Ben with kewai-dou levi. It's the only hair I specifically searched for by name to make certain I had because it's been my favorite alpha hairstyle for years idk what it is about it but I needed to make sure I had it if nothing else.

So yeah... I guess new cc hair aesthetic just in time for 2024? I'll still be keeping all 500+ clay hairs in a backup so I can answer any wcifs and obviously in case I've made a terrible mistake and wanna switch back 😂

#moyokean #i don't even know what to tag this #i've been very busy the last two days #making a mental note to update my cc resources page #idk what i'm doing

[liannelara-dracula]

Hey, sweetie!

How old you think are the sakamaki, mukami and tsukinami? i have seen lots of posts and all says different things from each othe, i'm really confused--

Hi Love,

This is a really good question. Its something I've always wondered and have been struggling to answer but I will do my best. A while ago I did some extreme math to calculate their age which I will say, I do not recommend such torture to anyone. Plus, I completely forgot the logic behind the formulas so whelp to that. And I think I am either correct or Rejet is inconsistent with their ideas. Either case, something is off and I'll do my best to explain what I think their age range is.

-Liannelara

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

Warning:

*certain words have been censored for Tumblr guidelines.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Okay so as I'm sure most of us know, we are aware of their physical age but when it comes to their actual age its tough to say but there are some estimates that could pinpoint a rough estimate as to how old they are.

For example. in one of the drama CDs I believe Reiji was the one who explained to Yui that the mansion that we see in the anime was given to them back in the 18th century? or was it 1800s? I can't remember overall it was a long time ago. And whichever it was they were all grown up to live there on their own as a family. This means for over 200+ years they have looked like teenagers!

The Tsukinami's age also helps us determine the Sakamaki's age. In the Young Blood manga, you can notice that Carla looks just as old as he looks now, and this is when the Sakamaki's were only children. So he and Shin are fairly old. Plus it was stated that they were trapped for thousands of years, so they are old considering that they had some business with their father.

If we also look at Beatrix's attire that Rejet gave her, it is a style that leans more toward the 15-1600s and her children where very young at the time. Of course these years are somewhat misleading because if you think of it, that dress is probably from the demon world so their way of doing things hardly changes. So there is a chance that the attire doesn't greatly respect the time.

However! In another drama CD when the boys were asked about their age Shu said he couldn't remember how old he was exactly but that he was roughly in his early 1,000s. Reiji, Laito, and I believe it was also Kanto who admitted that they were several of 100s of years old. (This was all on the CD which of course I don't remember which one.)

So having said this I've dug far deep to give a good estimate on all this so here it is:

Sakamaki

Shu:

1,051.

Idk why but this exact number is what I always think of when I see him.

Although in terms of range it would be 1,030-1,080.

Reiji:

932-986

he's approaching 1,000 real soon.

Laito:

743-870

Kanato:

720-850

Ayato:

715-820

I know they are triplets and they were born on the same day, but it's hard to picture they're all the same age. So I gave each a different range for each one because I don't know what to pick, but for them I would say the range is roughly : 715-870

Subaru:

660-700

Kino:

I always feel like he was older but it turns out he's younger than Shu?

890-950

Mukami

Now considering that Shu met "young" Yuma or "edgar" in this case, centuries later, it shows how slowly purebloods age and just how fast a turned vampires age, so while the Mukamis look to be the same age as the Sakamakis they're actually younger.

I know the Mukamis are psychically a year apart from each other but you know vampire aging works a little differently. Plus, we don't know how much they really are I'm just going by what age range I see on them.

Ruki

He is old and was probably born in 1500-1700s, as much as I want to say 1800s but we know it's not accurate.

Now idk why but I feel like he was born in the year 1570. (It just sounds right lol)

So for age wise its 518-640

Yuma

He's younger than Kou and it's just so hard to believe.

He's probably 460-580

Kou

500-620

Azusa

440-550

I could see him being in his mid 400s

Tsukinami

Oh my, they are very old.

And I'm just going to say it, they do not look like teens. I always felt that they looked like they were in their 20s. Honestly all of them look like their in there 20s.

But anyways, lets keep in mind that Carla looks exactly the same as he does now when the Sakamaks were kids. (This was in the young blood manga btw).

(also please let me know if I'm wrong about my facts so just let me know.)

anyways I feel like they are quite old and over a thousand. they said he was trapped for thousands of years so they are really old.

Carla

5,018-5,480

Shin

3,080-4,660

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˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers headcanons #diabolik lovers hcs #dl hcs #shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #laito sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #kino sakamaki #ruki mukami #yuma mukami #kou mukami #azusa mukami #shin tsukinami #carla tsukinami #diahell #diaboys #dia lovers #anime #anime headcanons #dialovers #anime requests

[hillbillyoracle]

Fuck Goals: Floor, Range, and Ceiling

Since my other Fuck Goals post resonated with so many people, I wanted to pass along another way of thinking about things I want to do repeatedly in a way that’s helped me - floor, range, and ceiling. 

Floor

The floor is your bare minimum that “counts”. This should be just above what you’re currently doing and if what you’re currently doing is nothing, it better be small. When setting up any habit tracker (app or analog) the floor should be what you set up and what counts toward a streak. 

Now I know what you might be thinking - “But that’s not what I actually want to do.” That’s fair, but you can’t build from none and you can’t build from some. So giving credit to doing just a little bit more is way more encouraging on days you feel like fucking crap, than doing what you set out to do. Some is so much better than none. Some deserves to count. 

Range

A nice round number is not a good thing to shoot for in my opinion. A range is much more realistic and satisfying. You can indulge in the activity rather than being bound to it. It being just another task on your to do list can really make it less enjoyable to maintain over the long term. Most people who do repeated activities everyday aren’t doing it the exact same way each time and it’s nice to mimic that naturalness early on. 

The range still needs to be realistic. Ideally it should be something you can hit more days than you don’t in a given week. If you can’t, then you’ll need to adjust it down. 

Ceiling

Ceiling is the part I don’t see a lot of people talk about. I set my ceilings at a point where I know if I go much over that, I will super not want to do the activity again the next day. I have to have a cut off point or my own enthusiasm will burn me out harder than anything else. I want to leave off where I’m excited to pick up the activity again the next day, not when I did it for as long as I wanted and now I’ve lost my taste for it. 

Sometimes this takes experimentation. If you set a floor and a range and then find yourself falling off of the wagon after you’ve been excitedly over doing it for a while - that’s an indication to set a ceiling lower than whatever the last day you were feeling good about it involved. 

Example: Steps

I was bedbound on and off for a few years and when I was finally walking again, I had some painful muscle atrophy to contend with so I wanted to make walking a regular thing for me as much as possible. At the time I was getting about 300-500 steps a day. I lived in a rough neighborhood so I knew all my walking would likely need to be done inside if I was going to feel safe enough to do it regularly so I didn’t want to set too high a step goal since walking inside tends to take longer. 

So I set my first floor at 1k steps a day and range within 2.5k - 3k. This was honestly a little ambitious but I consistently tried to over shoot it because my “actual” goal in my head was 10k steps. When I looked at days after when I was falling off - I’d usually gone over 5k so 5k became the ceiling.

And it stayed that way for many months. I’d fall off and adjust stuff downward but eventually I was consistently getting 1k steps and more days than not getting steps between 3k-5k. 

I really resented my step goal being 1k honestly. I didn’t always look forward to tapping the 1k button on my habit tracker. But on hard days is when I started to appreciate immensely that I still got credit for something. Plus I knew I’d gone over on the days I had. I didn’t need micro validation from an app to tell me that was good.

Around that time we moved and I had a safer environment to walk in. So I bumped it up. I kept 1k as my floor but I made around 5k steps the range and 7k the ceiling. That was a bit of a rough transition and it involved me really having to experiment with routines to make that happen so I’m glad I didn’t raise my floor any during that time. 

As I figured out my routines, I realize I was hitting 5k more days than I wasn’t so I bumped up my floor to 3k. 

Now - about 14 months from when I started doing this seriously, 5k is my floor and 8k - 10k is my range. ~12k is my ceiling at the moment. I don’t know that I have much inclination to do more but the best part about it is that it’s designed for maintenance. 5k is what I can reliably do even on tough days and it will count, I won’t lose my thread. And that will motivate me to keep going indefinitely or at least it has so far. 

I was sick the other day and had to drop down to 5k - before I would have just taken a day off and gotten thrown off but even when I’m having trouble I can get 5k now. It feels like a dream. 

Conclusion

This doesn’t just apply to fitness habits though. Want to start a reading habit? 5 minutes floor, 20-30 minute range, 1 hour ceiling. Or whatever makes sense where you’re at. Wanna declutter your house? 5 minute floor, 15-20 range, 1 hour ceiling. You get the picture. Whatever it is you want to do, set these posts to keep you on the track. Adjust them up only based on what you’re actually getting done over 3-6 weeks at a time. Adjust them down as needed. 

Oh and this can be used for decreasing behaviors too. Say you’re trying to reduce how much time you spend on social media. Maybe 15 minutes less per day is your floor. 1-2 hours less is your range, and 5 days without checking it is your ceiling. 

Remember - something is so much better than nothing. Even very little steps in the direction you want to go will eventually get you closer to where you want to be. You got this! 

#studyblr #adhd #autism #neurodivergent #goals #self improvment

[acourtofthought]

"What if the Cauldron was wrong?"

“Wouldn’t the mating bond have snapped into place for them if it exists?” Rhys’s eyes shuttered. “I think that is a question Azriel has been asking himself every day since he met Mor.”

Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it

“And you were never with anyone after it?” Not the cold, beautiful shadowsinger who tried so hard not to watch her with longing on his face?

Azriel’s head lifted from where he was sprawled in his own blood, eyes full of rage and pain as he snarled at the king, “Don’t you touch her.” Mor looked at Azriel—and there was real fear there. Fear—and something else.

"Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to touch her skin, tainting her with his presence"

“The issue, actually, wouldn’t be me. It’d be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won’t matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris—he’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.”

"He'd beg on his knees for a chance to taste it"

She wore a gown of pure white, little more than a slip of silk that showed off her generous curves. Indeed, a glance over her shoulder revealed Azriel staring blatantly at the back view of it, Cassian and the stranger already too deep in conversation to notice what had drawn the spymaster’s attention. For a moment, the ravenous hunger on Azriel’s face made my stomach tighten.

I had to look away to keep from laughing. Az, to his credit, gave Mor a smile of thanks, a blush creeping over his cheeks, his hazel eyes fixed on her. I looked away at the heat, the yearning that filled them.

"I'll defeat him with little effort"

Despite being an outsider, Azriel had wanted to invoke it when he's found Mor all those years ago. He'd been ready to challenge both Beron and Eris and kill them both.

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

She knew Azriel would say no, would want her safe. As he had always done. Az would have been pissed, and withdrawn even further into himself.

Correct me if I'm wrong but according to some, Azriel is completely over Mor after 500 years simply because a new female he's only known for two(ish) years has entered his life. Despite multiple books of buildup telling us of his love for Mor, despite Elain telling us as recently as ACOFAS that she didn't want a male and instead wanted a human man, despite centuries of love and longing and lust, he's easily moved on.

Moved on with a female that we've not seen he's had any feelings for that are uniquely special to Elain when you consider he's had the exact same thoughts about Mor.

So please do explain why Elain can't also be replaced just as quickly if someone else happens to come along? Someone who possibly turns out to be his Mate? Someone he already shows admiration for?

Love doesn't happen instantly but all he needs is another few months with Gwyn and Elain will simply become the new Mor.

Or.... What's more likely is Elain was never someone he truly loved at all and he instead transferred his unrequited feelings for Mor onto the only available female within his circle while she herself is looking to hook up with Az as a distraction to her own problems and the things she's been trying to avoid.

Rebounds are a thing and it does no good to pretend it's not a very real possibility. To me, Az isn't really over Mor and his focus needs to be on coming to terms with his past with her before getting involved with anyone else.

#anti elr*el #anti e/riel #gwynriel #azriel acotar #gwyn acosf

[fontainescape]

The Curse of Focalors: A Theory

I believe that despite being a god, Focalors currently doesn't have full access to her archonhood or the power of the gnosis. This might be because she had rejected herself as a god. Her self-praises skyrocket whenever she talked about the power of the gods or being the God of Justice herself, maybe because of her insecurity towards the issue. She is Fontaine's god, but perhaps she feels she doesn't deserve to be their god.

Because . . .

Furina turned Egeria's oceanids into humans. Not only can we correlate this Archon Quest to Mary-Ann's World Quest, the current people of Fontaine are penned as "sinners", though they don't know themselves what sins they carry. So I'm guessing they were Egeria's oceanid spies, or at least the descendants of those oceanids.

Due to the flood that occured 500 years ago, Focalors must have decided to turn oceanids into the humans who had died since the activities the oceanids carried were considered a sin by Celestia anyway. These creatures knew too much. I actually think Celestia supported Focalors on this, if they haven't suggested it themselves. There's no reason to turn a blind eye on such manipulative act if it wasn't to Celestia's liking.

To the Focalors then, that was justice. Focalors had done this to exact justice onto Egeria, perhaps in fear of Celestia's wrath.

But now her people are doomed into dissolution after having lived, created memories, and struggled as humans. And yet to later find the truth that they never were humans in the first place? Truly, this deception is cruel. How can she be composed after all these years? She's not. She deems herself unworthy of the authority of the hydro element for the grave offense she committed.

And thus . . .

Living on with pangs of conscience led Focalors to decide to exact justice onto herself as well, hence she cursed herself to live as a mortal, while locking the gnosis inside the Oratrice she created. But this wouldn't be enough. She would want someone else to replace her role as the Hydro Sovereign in order to keep Fontaine safe and to maintain it.

Furina may not have split herself per se

The Lady of Justice is blindfolded and carries a scale and a sword. So let's say that Furina is the sword , the Oratrice is obviously a scale, and Neuvillette could be the blindfold.

The scale represents evidence, facts, and balance. The sword represents punishment, truth, power of the state and rule of the law. The blindfold represents impartiality, an absence of favor.

Neuvillette's in-game character attributes and profile page text reads as follows:

The Chief Justice of Fontaine, known as the Iudex, is renowned for his unassailable impartiality.

There is no question that Neuvillette is the blindfold in this sense.

With this, we're left with Furina and the Oratrice. You might've noticed that the sword executes the punishment and declares the truth, and that is very fitting for the trailer we just saw in the 4.2 Special Program. IM SO GLAD I DIDNT PUBLISH THIS POST BEFORE I WATCHED THAT PROGRAM. The punishment for Focalors was revealed to be a death sentence, and this is the part of the story where the truth is revealed to everyone. Although the Oratrice technically declares the final verdict, in the end it is powered by Focalors' gnosis.

Now on a minor detail, observe Focalors' statue. I know that the previous things I said about the Lady of Justice must have already been analyzed by redittors but I don't know if they picked up on this:

Focalors' statue holds a sword that also resembles the oratrice with the tear motifs. But there's no blindfold and scale!

Neuvillette only became the Iudex 100 years after the cataclysm. Focalors should have been instated as the new hydro archon first, and then she would've appointed Neuvillette as the Chief Justice later in the timeline. This is very similar to the real world addition of the blindfold associated to the Lady of Justice, which was only added during the 16th century. So I just think it's neat if the statue having no blindfold is done on purpose. And whether that holds a significant meaning, I really don't know. Probably not, right? Also, could that mean Focalors herself is not completely impartial? Hence why she created the Oratrice?

She created the Oratrice to perfectly discern the appropriate verdict for the trials, even for a trial of a god. And Furina never split herself into anything. She's just really sneaky and good at fooling others, maybe. However I do think she really intended to die. But of course I think somebody would stop her.

Instead of splitting herself, she's just putting up an act. The two masks of the performing arts or theatre symbol are Comedy and Tragedy. The Furina everyone sees in public is masquerading as a comedic mascot, but the unseen Furina lives in the face of tragedy.

The Fontaine story theme's title is Masquerade of the Guilty. This entire ordeal is not just to place justice onto herself but also to avoid the prophecy from completely coming true.

Furina' secret

Here comes in Neuvillette who showed up in Fontaine around a hundred years after the cataclysm. Focalors decided that he would be a fitting Chief Justice, but in truth she also plans to return his sovereign authority. Somebody has to keep an eye of Fontaine after all.

This whole time, Focalors could have been preparing Neuvillette to take over. And the reason/s she must have waited this long, is because he has yet to be accustomed of the ways of humans and/or she has to safely turn over the gnosis without alerting Celestia. So until that time comes, Furina mustn't disappear from the stage because she has to keep the show going.

This is the only reason why I think Furina cried so bad and asked a "random" attacker not to kill her. Cause she doesn't have the gnosis with her and so she can't defend herself in that situation, but also has a reason to continue living for now.

All to deceive fate itself.

I had another theory about what the indemnitium is for if you want to read that.

#theories #furina #focalors #neuvillette #genshin impact #fontaine