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minglerblog · 4 years

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Postpartum Depression

Ting MIng Ler J1602144

ABSTRACT

Depression is and has always been a serious mental issue in society . People always speak of I have depression in a joking manner . In some point, depression will not be taken serious, the reason of choosing Postpartum Depression is due to the fact I have someone close that have experienced this mental issue and left a impact in my life.

The purpose of this project is to spread awareness about Postpartum Depression, to let the public know more about this mental issue that has been haunting pregnant women, and its victim . Helping them overcome this painful process.

WIDE CONTEXT

People feel sad, moody or low from time to time, some people experience these feelings intensely, for long periods of time (weeks, months or even years). But depression is more than just a low mood, it's a serious condition that affects physical and mental health.

The sign of depression is feeling sad, down or miserable most of the time, or have lost interest or pleasure in usual activities for a long period. Behaviour will change significant, such as not going out anymore, not getting things done at work/school, withdrawing from close family and friends, relying heavily on alcohol and sedatives not doing usual enjoyable activities, and unable to concentrate. During a depression state a person will be flowing full of negative thoughts sadness disappointed and self-doubt. For the physical side of symptoms tired all the time, sick and run down, headaches and muscle pains, sleep problems, loss or change of appetite, significant weight loss or gain. All experience some of these symptoms from time to time, and it may not necessarily mean you're depressed. Equally, not everyone who is experiencing depression will have all of these symptoms.

Depression and grief is different, being sad does not equal depressed. Grief is a painful feeling come in waves and intermixed with positive memories, throughout this stage self-esteem is usually maintained. Compare to major depression, mood and interest for the victim is decreased, the feeling of worthlessness and self-loathing are common. For some people, the death of a loved one can bring on major depression. Losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression for some people. When grief and depression co-exist, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression. Despite some overlap between grief and depression, they are different. ( Identifying and Managing Preparatory Grief and Depression at the End of Life, Vyjeyanthi S. Periyakoil, James Hallenbeck, March 1, 2002). Depression can affect anyone even for a person live in ideal circumstances. Serval factor play a role in Depression, Biochemistry, Genetics, Personality and Environmental factors. In the cases of, Biochemistry differences in certain chemicals in the brain may contribute to symptoms of depression. Genetics also play a part in depression . For example, if one identical twin has depression, the other has a 70 percent chance of having the illness sometime in life. People who have low self-esteem, can be easily overwhelmed by stress, or who have negative thought are more likely to experience depression. Continuous exposure to violence, neglect, abuse or poverty may make some people more vulnerable to depression. Depression has different types, Major Depression, PPD postpartum depression, SAD seasonal affective disorder. In the case of Major Depression, there is different categories. First of all is Melancholia during this depression state victims will experienced all the symptoms of depression, having slow movement and losing pleasure in everything. Psychotic depression is also one of the major depression, it causes hallucination or delusion, making the victim believing they are bad, and the most importantly they will feel being watch, followed and paranoid.

SPECIFIC CONTEXT

The topic for my specific context research is postpartum depression (PPD). Postpartum depression is one of serious depression that women will have while pregnant, after birth. Estimated that 14%-23% of pregnant women experience depression during pregnancy, and 5%-25% experience depression postpartum. postpartum depression is linked to chemical, social and psychological change with a baby. Victim of depression postpartum usually is new mother due their lack of experience to take care of baby and the physical changes to their body. Carrying a baby in no simple task. The symptoms include difficulty of sleep, appetite change and accompanied with symptoms of major depression. In some serious case Postpartum depression can lead to the Thought of death and suicide or thought of hurting someone else in this case it will mostly be the new born baby. If depression isn’t treated during pregnancy, it can lead to postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is a serious condition that can last for months after giving birth and can affect the way a mother bonds with her baby.

People usually confuse Postpartum depression with baby blues. Baby blues is a mild form of postpartum depression that most new moms will experience. It starts one to three days after the birth, and it usually won’t last long. With baby blues, many women have mood swings, they’re happy and suddenly crying the next. They may feel anxious, confused, or have trouble eating or sleeping. The baby blues is very common, up to 80% of new moms have it, and it will go away on its own.

About 13% of new mothers experience postpartum depression, which is more serious and lasts longer. It can start up to a few months after childbirth. (Postpartum Depression and the Baby Blues, Melinda Smith, May 2019 ) . If you have a family history of depression or have suffered from depression before, you’re more at risk. Postpartum depression is treatable. But if is not treated, children will be affected also.

Depression can also cause issue such as financial or marital problems, or a very stressful life event.

Depression can lead mothers to be inconsistent with the way they care for their children. They may be loving one minute and withdrawn the next. They may not able to respond at all to their children’s behaviour and they may respond in a negative way. Depending on the age of the children , they will be affected by their mother’s depression in different ways. (Paediatr Child Health. 2004 Oct; 9)

THE WORK

The objective of the infographic and the art installation is to tell the story of PostPartum Depression victim and tell the target audience about PostPartum Depression how did it happen and the progression of recovery , treating PPD victim with patient and love. Before this project, an interview has been conducted with PostPartum depression victim. Through the data gathered PostPartum depression victims felt paranoid, unstable emotion, and some even has violent behaviour. People often misunderstood depression with grief, both do share similarities and yet different from another. Depression and grief both has the same trait that is feeling of sad and powerless , but depression lasted longer. Similar with PostPartum depression , it takes a long time to recover , in some cases PostPartum depression never recover. The envision idea of the art installation is to connect with the target audience through the visual and let them understand more into the dark side of PostPartum depression, help those who in need, feel more empathy instead of feeling sympathy .Knowing and understanding the situation that the victim felt and giving them love and care, instead of telling them “everything will be fine” ,helping them navigate through the stormy ocean , make them felt warm and give them courage again. The infographic used simple four colour black ,white,and red , each colour has their own story. Three specific story from real life interview was chosen for the infographic. Each colour represent the story white will represent fear, black paranoid and red is violence. The white will show a silhouette of a black colour demon looking creature to play with the space in order to show the powerless mother against her own fear. The colour black will tell the story of a mother being paranoid, to create the empty space and loneliness. Red will be more straight forward, telling the story of the mother violent side while dealing with Postpartum depression. Each colour is a symbol and its tells their story. For the art installation , is to create something feminine ,peaceful, yet harsh looking. The first idea was to have the audience interact with the art piece, and form there came out the idea of sculpture. In order to create the harsh looking ,reference from barb wire was taken to create the shap , pointy and desperate look. But the barb wire design is too intense and will not suit the final outcome .The barb wire design was improvise to a more feminine wire sculpture of a women’s hand holding the baby , while still maintain the pointy edges to show the emotion of pain , irritation and fear of the mother. The wire sculpture of the hand was taken real reference form a real life human hand in order to create the accurate human hand size, and it has a more mechanic look to it. The main piece will be a wire sculpture and cover with fabric to make it like a baby. In the final outcome the hand will be the stand of the baby to simulate a mother holding a child. The story will be shown through fabric print , to show each different stage of Postpartum depression until the recovery.

THE PRATICE/DESIGN RATIONAL

For this project the colour of choice is pink, black , white , grey and red. Each colour symbolize a different stage of PostPartum depression . Pink is a delicate color that means sweet, romantic, charming, feminine, and tenderness, is associated with bubble gum, flowers, babies, pink is also the color of universal love of oneself and of others , it represents friendship, affection, harmony, inner peace, and approachability. Pink is the more sweeter and peaceful side of the red. While red brings up the passion, aggression, and dramatic action. Red, the color of blood and fire, is associated with meanings of love, passion, desire, heat, longing, lust, sexuality, sensitivity, romance, joy, strength, leadership, courage. But for this project the red will represent rage, anger, danger, malice, wrath, stress, action, vibrance, radiance, and determination The overuse of red is to show the temper, agitation, anger, and overbearing, demanding, and oppressive behaviors for the stage where the “mother “will have more a violent behaviour, and to have a more dramatic visual. The colour of black is often associated with power, fear, mystery, strength, authority, elegance, formality, death, evil, and aggression mostly towards the negative side. The colour black in this project represent the overwhelming emotion of fear and sadness that slowly corrupt the mind of the victim. The white symbolize innocence and to form a contrast between the black. Lastly the colour grey associated with loss or depression, it shows the affects of the mind and body by causing unsettling feelings.(Colour Meaning, Jennifer Bourn ,November 2010)

The visual in the fabric printed artwork is design by different shape and illustrated by a semi cartoonish style , by using the theory of character design. A visual message has to be clear to be effective and exploring a character's silhouette in an early stage of the design , the overall shape will speak for a character's personality. Curved and circular shapes are the friendliest due to they have no sharp or dangerous corners. Circular shapes mostly represent a character of being soft and harmless , a more harmony design. Triangles will relate to diagonal and strong, fine lines and are the most dynamic of the three shapes. Evil is often associated with the sharp edges shape etc Disney Maleficent and Transformer Megatron .Triangular concepts, as they appear sinister and has showed the most aggression . It is the circle's opposing shape and often used for antagonists. The shape of a character has the ability to visually communicate to the audience, but the visual communication becomes more effective when placed in relation to another character: A small character that is posed with a big character will make them seem even bigger and smaller. When creating visual, opposing characters, or a team, it is important that they look good together, by adding contrast in proportions and body shape it is possible to create visual interest while also revealing something about the character's personality and telling the story. Character design depends from realism to idealization the silhouette of a human character will different depends on how stylized a character, a design or a game is. A stylized Design for example will have more creativity, exaggerated shapes and proportions when it comes to creating, designing a character through a recognizable silhouette. Proportions can be altered in many ways and are especially useful to create many different human-based characters: A character with a small head and a large body will communicate in a different way compared to a character with a small body and a large head, adding personality to the character.( How Can a Character's Personality be Conveyed Visually, through Shape, Hanna Ekström.)

REFERENCES

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/what-causes-depression

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/types-of-depression

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/depression/signs-and-symptoms

http://www.drplace.com/Identifying_and_Managing_Preparatory_Grief_and_Depression_at_the_End_of_Life.16.28112.htm

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/postpartum-depression-and-the-baby-blues.htm?pdf=13028

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2724170/

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/babyblues.html?WT.ac=p-ra

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/postpartum-depression-and-the-baby-blues.htm/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

http://primarypsychiatry.com/can-postpartum-depression-be-predicted/

https://academic.oup.com/jpubhealth/article/25/2/131/1504969

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/article-abstract/517795

https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:637902/FULLTEXT01.pdf%E2%80%A8

https://www.bourncreative.com/meaning-of-the-color-pink/

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diorco · 7 years

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The Journey of Breastfeeding

The sensitive topic of breastfeeding has been something that I wasn’t that open to talk about. Do well and you’ll be deemed boastful and proud, don’t do well and you’ll be judged as lazy. Either way I go, people can still criticize.

So why am I writing about this now?

This post isn’t going to tell you what to do to increase your milk or how to build a milk stash or how to do it right. There’s already a ton of that in the internet. I’ve read too many articles telling moms what to do to be successful at breastfeeding but almost no sharing of personal experiences of the struggles and sacrifices that come with it. What I needed during my first few weeks is even just one story from a mom to tell me that yes, it is THIS HARD. And that yes, it will get better. So I now, I’m sharing my story to tell moms who are just starting off in their breastfeeding journey that yes, what you’re going through is normal.

It’s daunting to even relive how it all went down, waking up each day with the uncertainty if I can survive another day of breastfeeding. I would’ve changed a few things if I knew better. But five months down the road and we’re still exclusively breastfeeding. What you’ll read are purely my raw experiences on the first few months of motherhood. I hope that new moms and mom-to-be’s can find strength and inspiration in my story.

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed ever since we found out we were pregnant. My sister told me it’s even harder than delivery itself. Others told me it’s the reason why they suffered from postpartum depression. Many said it’s the most difficult thing they had to do in their life.

Hearing all these, I signed myself up in breastfeeding classes and workshops, making sure I have the right expectations when it’s my turn.

The moment I gave birth, Elise was placed on me for our first latch and skin-to-skin encounter. The next time I saw her was in the recovery room where the nurse had me breastfeed her. I remember seeing her latch for a second and then letting go. The entire fifteen minutes was just a repetition of that. I was worried she didn’t have the skill to suckle and that I didn’t have enough milk.

We were brought in my room together and we opted to have her room-in with us despite the exhaustion that 19 hours of labor caused us. I highly advise parents to do this! Once you put her in the nursery at night instead of your room, you won’t know the issues that may arise and better to have your baby with you 24/7 in the hospital so you have nurses to call and ask advice from. Rooming her in prepared and managed our expectations as to how it’ll be when we bring her home.

True enough, a lot of issues surfaced those first few nights. For one, I had flat nipples that made it difficult for Elise to latch on me. Imagine how frustrating that might have been for her. The nurse tried to solve this by using the syringe technique to pull my nipples out. The process made my toes curl in unimaginable pain and caused my nipples to bleed. This process was repeated every feeding time during our two day stay in Makati Med. The day we left the hospital, I had an open wound on my right nipple so we needed to drop by Rustan’s to buy a pair of Medela nipple shields as recommended by the lactation consultant in the hospital.

Elise was born 2.52 kg heavy, or should I say light. Our pedia was worried as Elise wasn’t feeding well and needed to catch up on her weight so she advised me to breastfeed and pump after every feed to condition my body to produce more. Day 3 postpartum and I was already pumping every 2 hours after her feed, while Ivan or our nanny feeds her via a small medicine cup.

If I’d break down our routine during her first weeks, it was this every 2 hours:

Feed for 40 minutes

Pump for 20 minutes (while Elise drinks via cup)

Do other baby chores for an hour

Elise wakes up again to feed

I’m lucky if Elise can last 3 hours (counting from the time she started feeding), before wanting to feed again. Those rare instances gave me a chance to get an hour of sleep. If she’s still asleep on the 3rd hour, we needed to wake her up to feed to prevent dehydration, as ordered by our pedia. So far, this was the most exhausting thing I had to do in my 30 years of existence.

Oh, and the growth spurts that lasted for ten days during her 3rd week, 6th week, 9th week, where she’d feed infinitely for the entire day. I’d only get fifteen -to thirty- minute breaks. We were feeding round the clock.

During the first week, I was only able to pump 10 ml or 0.3 oz of milk after pumping both breasts for 20 minutes every 2 hrs. I was worried with my output and also because Elise never looked satisfied and kept on crying after every feed as if telling me I’m not producing enough for her. My sister in law offered her sister in law’s breastmilk to help us cope. We gladly said yes. It made me feel safe though I still followed my two-hour interval of pumping and feeding to condition my body to adjust to Elise’ needs.

Two weeks postpartum and I started feeling the baby blues creep in. Thoughts of doubt and feelings of despair consumed me. Will this ever get better? Will I ever be able to go back to my life? Is this all I do now? When will I be able to sleep again? But I pushed myself and just continued on doing my routine every single day. It didn’t help that we had small spills of pumped milk here and there. You do really cry over spilled milk, even if it’s just 5 ml worth.

Elise’ latch was still poor. It took us more than five minutes just to get a good latch. The frustration was mutual and we often cry simultaneously at the start of every feed. We are on and off the nipple shields as my lactation consultant told us we need to wean her off slowly so she can get the optimal benefits of breastfeeding without it. It prevented her from having the full breastfeeding experience and also hindered milk from being suckled efficiently.

We were following baby-led feeding and it made me scared of my own child – I feared my own child! Every after feed, for a split second, there’s relief that it’s done, followed immediately by dread & the agony of waiting for the next feed.

Needless to say, I was stressed out. They say you need to be relaxed to induce milk production and maintain your supply. HOW?

What also made it difficult was finding the right position for us to feed. She seemed only comfortable with the cradle hold. She would always cry when we do side-lying, and it’s too time-consuming to arrange pillows for a football hold. We got ourselves a LaZboy and it’s the best investment ever.

As if it’s not enough to be drained physically, I was also mentally depleted. I read countless articles, even medical journals, to find answers as to how to increase my milk and at the same time reassurances that I won’t get mastitis if I oversupply. I was going from one end of the spectrum to the other. I was so confused I didn’t know which, from the countless advices I’ve heard, to follow. I made Kellymom.com and Livingwithlowmilksupply.com my best friends, when what really helped was talking to my husband who never failed to talk me out of my spinning head and reassure me of my daily progress. He was and is my sanity.

Cup feeding took its toll and I introduced her the bottle after only a month. She immediately took it and it was the first time ever she looked satisfied after a feeding. That day, I concluded she’d be happier with the bottle than feeding directly on me. It would be easier to pump at a schedule (my schedule) instead of waiting on her hunger to strike anytime. By doing this, I’d have more freedom and control and I can finally say goodbye to my nipple cream, the savior of my sore and cracked nipples.

The next day, we tried this. I was going to exclusively pump and just feed her the bottle. But during the first pump of the day, after ten minutes into the pumping session, Elise cried. Our nanny was warming up the bottle and she won’t stop crying. I remember feeling helpless, stuck on my pump, waiting for the twentieth minute to come so I can finally console my daughter. This happened three times that morning.

I couldn’t take it to the point of retreating from my decision to exclusively pump and offered her my breasts again. She refused them, looking for the bottle that provided her a faster milk flow. I cried uncontrollably, hating myself for ever thinking I was okay to lose my bond with her through breastfeeding. The next couple of days, we went cold turkey on the bottle and “unli-latched” since then, and went back to cup feeding her expressed milk.

One month postpartum and I found myself waking up each day with a feeling of doom. Is it another day of this? Or is today the day it gets better? For 3 months, the answer was always no. During this time, I was most prayerful. I begged God to lessen my suffering and grant me comfort, as I didn’t know how else to go on. Don’t get me wrong, Elise has given me so much joy and I don’t think I suffered from PPD. I enjoyed and found fulfillment in all other aspects of motherhood. But breastfeeding? It was excruciating.

It helped that I forced myself out of the house to get some fresh air and perspective. To feel like I’m still part of society and my use isn’t confined in the walls of our home.

The only silver lining at two months postpartum was Elise’ rapid weight gain that made me relax and bring down my pumping interval to 3 hours instead of two. I also experienced a little bit of normalcy when I get to leave home for work and just pump. Though I’d find myself in the strangest places especially when I do not have control where my next makeup job venue will be. I’d lay tissues in hotel bathrooms and sit on the toilet to pump for 20 minutes. My milk started stabilizing at 90 ml every 3 hours. I didn’t feel safe still so I continued taking in my fenugreek and malunggay supplements together with home-cooked meals from my mom like halaan, malunggay soup and mother’s milk tea from my sister in law. To have a strong support system is such a big blessing. My mom generously supplied me with all the food I needed and my sister in law who also just gave birth communicated with me each day, making sure I’m okay physically and mentally. I asked her almost everything I needed to know about motherhood.

We started introducing one bottle daily and she didn’t have a problem with nipple confusion this time. My milk supply already stabilized at 4 oz output every 3 hours.

Finally, we encountered a good problem for a change. There was no more space in our existing freezer for our milk. We decided to finally get a deep chest freezer to accommodate it and also because my first few bags thawed when our other existing freezer automatically defrosted. Lots of tears were shed that afternoon.

Three months postpartum and it got a little better. I had more time than just for a quick shower and a five-minute meal. I didn’t find the need to pump so much anymore as Elise didn’t need to be supplemented expressed milk as her weight gain stabilized. My nipples were still sore and blisters came and went every now and then.

I’d still wake up wondering when she’d feed less, and she did at just around 30 minutes instead of 40. And then, the most amazing thing happened – she started sleeping through the night! First at six hours, then eight then ten! Did I sleep straight as she did? Nope. The paranoid momma went on to pump every four hours in fear of mastitis. With one pumping session before I sleep that gets me 120 ml or 4 oz of output, then a dream feed from Elise at 1am or 2am on one boob and a haakaa on the other that gathers around 2-3 oz of milk, I was able to build a huge milk stash.

Four months postpartum and the day finally arrived – the day when I found myself excited to spend the day with her instead of dreading breastfeeding. She’s feeding for a shorter duration at 20 minutes, still as frequent as every 2 to 3 hours, but sleeps through most of the nights. I got to relax a bit and was able to catch up on my TV series!

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, things changed. Elise no longer wanted the bottle. What to do with a halfway full 5.5 cu ft deep freezer? Up to this day, we are humbled to be given the opportunity to share our milk to preemies and other babies in need.

We’ve decided to have me stay home with her as much as possible or bring her with me when I really need to be out as she now prefers the breast. You’d be surprised how breastfeeding-friendly establishments are nowadays, providing nursing stations for the privacy of their patrons. I’ve grown to find comfort in those spaces but I’ve gained enough courage now to just breastfeed her with a nursing cover anywhere in public as I don’t want to excuse myself all the time at social gatherings anymore.

Five months postpartum and she has been retrained into taking the bottle. She takes in less with it but at least she accepts it now. She feeds directly on me whenever we are home and things have been looking up lately. I’m weaning off my pump at night as I don’t need to secure a stash anymore. From 20 minutes, I only pump for 10 minutes or until my breasts feel comfortable. I’m hoping I can drop this pumping session soon without getting engorged.

She has also reduced her time on the breasts for just 10-15 minutes per feed now. Going six months, I find myself being able to do more. I’m gradually getting my freedom back, able to attend to other things than just Elise without feeling like I’m always running out of time. She’s growing at a steady pace and my pedia’s perfectly happy with her health. We get to do other things too than just feed! I’ve also started to miss and look forward to our breastfeeding time especially when I’m out for long.

Direct breastfeeding has become easier now than bottle feeding. We don’t need to bring bottles when we’re out with her or clean mountains of bottles and pump parts. She regulates the milk I produce and there’s no more fear of undersupply or oversupply. I’m beyond amazed as to how the female body endures! It seemed easier to exclusively pump at the start as you can have more freedom and control. But I will never trade the teamwork and bond Elise and I have established. I thank her everyday for her patience and determination to stay on track with me.

Looking back, what would I have done differently? I would have trusted my body more and believed that it will follow Elise’s demand. I would’ve slept more and focused less on the output I’m getting from my pump. I would’ve enjoyed the early weeks of motherhood more with the faith that God will provide abundance when we show Him that we are also doing our part.

#motherhood #mommydiaries #lifestyle #breastfeeding #pumping

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