#but I mean go off I guess

[ohhgingersnaps]

I'm seeing some frustration over fandom creatives expressing anger or distress over people feeding their work into ChatGPT. I'm not responding to OP directly because I don't want to derail their post (their intent was to provide perspective on how these models actually work, and reduce undue panic, which is all coming from a good place!), but reassurances that the addition of our work will have a negligible impact on the model (which is true at this point) does kind of miss the point? Speaking for myself, my distress is less about the practical ramifications of feeding my fic into ChatGPT, and more about the principle of someone taking my work and deliberately adding it to the dataset.

Like, I fully realize that my work is a drop in the bucket of ChatGPT's several-billion-token training set! It will not make a demonstrable practical difference in the output of the model! That doesn't change the fact that I do not want my work to be part of the set of data that the ChatGPT devs use for training.

According to their FAQ, ChatGPT can and will use user input to train itself. The terms and conditions explicitly state that they save your chats to help train and improve their models. (You can opt-out, but sharing is the default.) So if you're feeding a fic into ChatGPT, unless you've explicitly opted out, you are handing it to the ChatGPT team and giving them permission to use it for training, whether or not that was your intent.

Now, will one fic make a demonstrable difference in the output of the model? No! But as the person who spent a year and a handful of months laboring over my fic, it makes a difference to me whether my fic, specifically, is being used in the dataset. If authors are allowed to have a problem with the ChatGPT devs for scraping millions of fics without permission, they're also allowed to have a problem with folks handing their individual fics over via the chat interface.

I do want to add that if you've done this to a fic, please don't take this as me being upset with you personally! Folks are still learning new information and puzzling out what "good" vs. "bad" use is, from an ethical standpoint. (Heck, my own perspective on this is deeply based on my own subjective feelings!) And we certainly shouldn't act like one person feeding a fic into ChatGPT has the same practical negative impact, on a broad societal scale, as a team using a web crawler to scrape five billion pieces of artwork for Stable Diffusion.

The point is that fundamentally, an ethical dataset should be obtained with the consent of those providing the data. Just because it's normalized for our data to be scraped without consent doesn't make it ethical, and this is why ChatGPT gives users the option to not share data— there is actually a standardized way (robots.txt) for website servers to set policies for how bots/crawlers can interact with them, for exactly this reason— and I think fandom artists and authors are well within their rights to express a desire for opting out to be the socially-respected default within the fandom community.

#maybe this is an ice cold take but i've been meaning to go off about datasets for a while so here we are i guess #i can respect what op's frustrations were and what they were trying to get at! but also i do not want my fic in chatgpt's dataset #regardless of whether it will make a practical difference #and again i don't think the people doing this are necessarily bad actors or having a huge negative social impact #chatgpt #chat gpt #ai #fandom #negative #(possibly! i'm trying not to be!! especially because this is very feelings-based and there are many things i am not considering) #the model may not demonstrably change because of your fic. but it does have your fic now and that does matter maybe idk

[scarrletmoon]

okay i know the Discourse™️ has been going on for way too long at this point, but

i think some people outside of the OFMD fandom don’t actually get why we’re particularly annoying about this show

OFMD is not the first queer show to ever exist. if anything, it's a late entry in decades of queer media. over a year and a half since the first few episodes aired, everyone knows that OFMD is queer. that doesn't make it particularly special

but back in March? this is the trailer that dropped in February of 2022, 2 weeks before the premier. if you're used to seeing queer chemistry in shows that aren't intended to be queer, you might see the hints between Ed and Stede here. but to most people? it's just a silly little pirate comedy. just guys being dudes. the trailer doesn't even hint at the other 2 canonical queer relationships in the show -- the closest it gets suggesting romance is the music and the pink in the poster

so when people watched this show in March 2022, they went into it expecting subtext and nothing else. to them, it was like watching Sherlock or Supernatural or Merlin in the 2010s. if you were in any of those fandoms -- especially Sherlock and Supernatural -- you know what it was like; constant jokes at our expense, being mocked for creating explicit fanwork, made fun of by the creators and within the show itself. if we saw queer subtext, that was our problem. this was a time when you pretended NOT to be in fandom, for fear of ridicule. we kept our fanwork to ourselves, we DID NOT share it with the cast, and we accepted that our favourite ships would probably never be canon. maybe one day, if we were lucky, we'd have a show where the subtext wasn't mockery as much as deliberate foreshadowing -- but that had to be YEARS away

right?

OFMD was never billed as a queer show, not in the beginning. there was no LGBTQ+ tag on (HBO) Max, it wasn't on anyone's list of upcoming queer shows in 2022, it flew under the radar through most of its first season. this was a show about pirates, and sure, some of them were queer. but not the LEADS. if you think they're romantically involved, that's must be fandom brain poisoning

except the 9th episode aired, and they kissed. and the show said "you're not crazy for thinking they have chemistry because they really do. it's been a romance this whole time". and in the 10th episode, Stede realizes that he's in love

(not mandating you watch this clip if you don't care for the show, but there's something that feels particularly earth shattering about no one saying the word gay but knowing that Stede's realizing he is, that it's completely unambiguous and explicit in a way that only straight romances are usually allowed to be)

this is why people freaked out about this show. no one knew. even the creator, David Jenkins, was surprised when WE were surprised that it was gay for real -- he set out to write a love story, using all the tried and true beats of a rom com. he'd never even heard of the term queerbaiting. he looked at historical Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet and thought "oh, there's something here" and just...wrote that, with very little fanfare, like it was inevitable. like it was obvious. of course Jim and Pam end up together. of course Buttercup and Westley end up together. what kind of disappointing ending would it be if You've Got Mail ended with the main characters just going their separate ways?

so of course Ed and Stede are in love

look, i get it. we're annoying and won't shut the fuck up about this show that seems mediocre at best. i watched the whole thing back in march, thought "huh, that was cool" and was sure that i'd forget about it in a few days

an hour after looking at fanart on twitter, i was lost in the fucking sauce

there's just so much to unpack from a mere 10 episodes. it covers racism, toxic masculinity, gender expression, sexuality, trauma and abuse. and i don't think we should overlook the fact that the non-white characters in this show get to be fully human in a way i haven't seen in my favourite shows in recent memory

additionally, most OFMD are 25 or older. we're not people who've been spoiled by queer rep, who don't get how hard it used to be, how you'd have to grovel for scraps, how shipping and fanfiction was a way to find queer rep where we thought there never would be. we've been here. we're annoying about this show because for a lot of us, it's the first time we've been treated like our queerness isn't an anomaly that needs to be relegated to its own section, that needs to be praised for the bare minimum of acknowledging that we exist. it's not pulling punches to avoid scaring away a straight audience. it just is.

OFMD for me is like when i watched Black Panther for the first time and realized that this is what white people felt all the time. have there been other black superhero movies? of course! does Disney fucking suck? BOY does it. but that was the first time i got to sit in a movie theater and watch a mainstream film that looked at Africa and said "look at how beautiful you are, exactly as you are"

and idk. i think that's really cool

#scarrlet rambles #ofmd #cant wait for all 5 notes on this post #and dont be fucking mean i'm not trying to start shit #anon is off btw if you want to try that #we're going to have a productive conversation or none at all we're adults here #for some reason tumblr didn't save my links and stuff THANKS TUMBLR #anyway the typo version is floating around now i guess 🥲

[skitskatdacat63]

For Dru (@fortheloveofaussiegrit), thank you for completely and utterly brainrotting me with this moment 🙏

#HEHEHEHE SOO HAPPY WITH THIS AAAAAHHHHHH #hope you like it dru <3 #originally i was just going to draw oscar with the plushie #but then im like wait....mark is the type to proudly take pics of him(that clip of him taking pics of oscar) #but seriously that clip literally fucking murdered me #like it starts off with him randomly being all cutesy like #'oscar was tucked into bed 🥰 with his teddy 🥰🥰 which is a kangaroo actually! 🥰🥰' #which like murdered me on the spot. was literally just slapping my chair at that #and then the rest of the clip praising him and then comparing at the end #THANK YOU MARK FOR THAT. I GUESS. #just like. he hears party and champagne and his first thought is oscar cozy in bed...okay 🤔🤭 #two theories(i said this to dru already): #A. he is telling the truth. i mean cmon came up with that one so quickly! #B. they had a private party to celebate oscar's win-*I am forcibly dragged away* #but jokes aside. so funny for mark to just headcanon on broadcast #f1 #formula 1 #mark webber #oscar piastri #2023 qatar gp #oscarmark #i dont know if ive actually ever seen any oscarmark fanart before? interesting #catie.art.

[egophiliac]

the new ride kamens character is jo, and he's... blood stark and night rogue? he's got the blood stark visor and color, but he's got bat wings which is definitely night rogue, not what i would've expected, i would've thought we'd get evol and kr rogue first as separate characters, but hey, dan kuroto and blood stark are some of my top faves of all time villains, so i'm not complaining

heck YES look at this steam-powered and yet somehow cyberpunky batman. he's awesome! 🦇 and honestly given that the popular guess for him was Night Rogue, I think it's pretty funny that he ended up being (mostly) the other Faust guy (I admit I usually associate him with the Evol form and...kind of forgot about Blood Stalk a little bit. :')

augh I am so BEHIND on drawing the Wisdom Thinks guys, hold on let me fix this

also I really hope they get way into the nitty-gritty of them running the lounge. nothing is funnier to me than Dramatic Action Superheroes having to take time out of their day to balance their business ledger and figure out the employee rotation for the week and stress about scheduling their upcoming food safety inspection. it's great.

#art #ride kamens #(sorry! the twst update kinda took over my brain a little whoops) #i'm still in shock about soun being zangetsu. i was SO convinced his shoulder-thing was gaim's big orange slice... #i mean i guess the melonman isn't THAT far off but it still kinda rocked me #i should have learned my lesson by now about thinking i know who anyone's going to be #my hubris! #anyway so wisdom thinks huh #(eyes the character profiles) you know they haven't said the words 'host club' but...do you think... #i mean probably not. but DO YOU THINK... #woooo only one boy left to be revealed! #who's it gonna be who's it gonna be

[stillflight]

"You're allergic to alliums? Haha, what are you, a vampire?"

WRONG

BIRD

#on a side note? I hate how when you say ''bird'' it is expected you mean pet psittaciforme #this article of bad foods for ''birds'' also included: any raw meat. I am an obligate carnivore not a parakeet but go off I guess #therian #birdkin #alterhuman

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Yall imagine Danny getting help from Batman and tells him about how hes on the run (it was a joke in passing smh) and how he has no home (it was ment to be funny man) then all of a sudden Bruce way shows up on a totally casual stroll in his neighbourhood. “Oh look a child who is in need laaa dee daa let me help you poor random child who I have no idea who you are.” As if Danny is an idiot. He isnt fooled in the slightest. He knows when something is up. Batman clearly is using Bruce Wayne to help kids off the street.

Danny is staying at Wayne manner and notices how no one really talks about the bats. Or tif they do Bruce gets this look then quickly changes the subject. Hes putting so much effort into it too. And at first Danny hardly noticed. Now it’s obvious theres a connection. At first he thought Bruce Wayne hated batman with how often he refused to comment or gave his kids a glare when they mentioned the big bad bat. But now it’s clearly something else. Danny got a chance to talk to the commissioner alone and then it clicked. Danny had asked whats Mr.Waynes beef with Batman and the commissioner seemed so confused. Quickly telling Danny about how the two have worked together. How Bruce has even helped the bat with information or a distraction from time to time. Why would Danny think that he hated him???

And BAM Danny had it. Bruce Wayne is dating THE Batman!!! Holy shit it makes so much sense. Danny would often find batgear around the house. Bruce probably got targeted a bunch and thats probably how they met.

Now hes trying so hard to be supported of his clearly closeted father figure. He also gets why it’s not public info too. Paints a huge target on Bruce. Plus his many many kids. Must be hard for them. What a crazy life they live. Jason would probably be so jealous of their literal fairytale romance.

Danny tells Bruce that he is supported by him and that his secret is safe until hes ready to tell anyone else. Bruce niw thinking Danny knows hes batman shows up no mask and Danny goes nuts. “You can’t out yourself in danger to protect him bruce!!! You are just some himbo man!!! He wouldnt want this!!!” Thinking Bruce is going to try and fight in Batmans place.

Then Danny walks up and places a hand on bruces should (he has to reach lmao shorty). “I will go. I will keep everyone safe. You can count in me” transforms snd flys off to defeat the big bad. Leaving a fully stunned and confused bruce.

#danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #yall have seen the batman lego movie right? #I mean the jokerxbatman stuff was fantastic but I loved how ribin thought he got two dads #then he lost them both at the same time #beautiful #I was gonna have more to this and I might later #I have so mich stuff to fo and im standing here soaking my pgone in the shower to write this shit #thats why I have so many typos now a days byw cause my phone is sopping #also im missing a bit ig my goot cause I guess I just moonley brain and ripped it off??? #idk why I did that but it started bleeding and it hurts all the time and I kist want it to stop #but also I started to do it a third time #yes I did it twice #lord help me im stupid #ok im a go dye my hair white. unrelated ti dp

[dizzybizz]

😀 i love setting out to draw 1 character multiple times but ending up drawing multiple characters 1 time instead 😀 i love it so much 😀

#honestly the qi rong is still my fav.... first one i did.. its jsut so yummy to me ok #the he xuan too.. other two can go fuck off for all i care #i only care for the left side of this canvas #also i feel like i channeled my mbj design while trying to draw he xuan 😔 i cant help it--- like theyre both nonhumans with black n blue #color schemes in my head and.. yeah.. imean he xuan is water and mobei-jun is ice it makes sense in my mind #but also imagining that he xuan design absolutely tearing into food is cracking me up.. i just need to draw him enjoying a nice meal fr.. #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #the four calamities #qi rong #hua cheng #he xuan #bai wuxiang #my art #me @ everyone: you get long pointy ears 🥰🥰🥰. (gets to bwx) ... not you tho 🥰🥰🥰 #i should draw every tgcf i want to so bad #you will never guess who my favs are i am so not predictable i am so unpredictable you would never see it coming you would never guess im s #i feel like i havent done a lot of tgcf posting on here tho.... . i mean my initial hyperfixation on it was last year i believe?? #but i never really stopped thinking about adghasdhgahdjhafa

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag memes death #izzy hands #edward teach #dizzy izzy #edward teach born on a beach #mine #j #pic #this is it. this is the entire ed and izzy dynamic in episode 4 #ed says “will you take my whimsical ass seriously” and izzy says “i will not take you seriously unless you stop acting whimsical” #and ed says “alright well i'm going to goof off with this weird blond guy. you can stay mad i guess” #og #edit

[im-a-freaking-joy]

CALLING ALL EXMORMONS/PIMOS

i have a proposition- lets all write the nastiest, most unhinged, atrocious mormon themed smut that we possibly can. It was honestly weirdly healing for me to read wild ass smut on ao3 that was themed around the religion and not the musical, and i want it to become such a popular trend for exmos and pimos to start doing that they have to start vagueing about it in general conference. It doesnt have to be good. It just needs to *be.*

Once im done writing my Ammon×Lamoni smut fic I'm absolutely reblogging this post with the link added, please join me in this unhinged rebellion

#look those two always had something homoerotic going on alright #even before i knew what homoeroticism was #just like. the inherent dom sub dynamics of willingly and happily listening to everything the king says? #asking for more duties just so you can spend time around him? #fighting an entire rampaging group of men intent on harming your b̶o̶y̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ I mean king's sheep? #cutting off said enemies arms to show him how devoted you are? #and on lamoni's side-- #giving up your kingdom for your “best friend” so he can be safe?? #protecting him from anyone who disagrees with you and thinks he shouldnt be here? #the tldr of this i guess is that if joe smith wrote smut instead of the book of mormon and making it into a cult i would have less trauma #exmo #exmormon #ex lds #ex mormon #pimo #calling all exmos

[kirstenly]

a friend showed me a stupid meme, and i was like "this... this is Xie Lian flavoured..." So please enjoy this silliness.

#Xie Lian #tgcf #heaven official's blessing #i guess a warning for KYS but the meaning is different here intentionally #Kirstenly Draws #I tried really hard to emulate aspects of the manhua style... its off but its also time to go to sleep.... #has a grandma mistaking LOL for Lots of Love energy

[americankimchi]

it's so hard to take star wars seriously nowadays because i'll watch someone get skewered by a lightsaber and then somehow walk it off with a bacta patch and a slap on the ass. like you're telling me a weapon that can carve furrows into foot-thick solid durasteel doors, dripping melted slag in its wake, when applied to the flesh of a sentient being leaves behind nothing more than superficial damage. like be so ffr. "it cauterizes the wound instantly" this is not a little cut. this is not minor burns. you were IMPALED BY A BEAM OF PLASMA. your ORGANS have been COOKED. your BLOOD has BOILED. your BONES were INCINERATED. what are you TALKING ABOUTTTTTT

#personal #I CANNOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY #you do not grow up with the OT and the PT watching people get cut down instantly and then just #GESTURES FURIOUSLY AT THE MULTIPLE INSTANCES OF PEOPLE GETTING A LIGHTSABER THROUGH THE GUT #AND JUST WALKING IT OFF!!!!!!!! SOMETIMES RIGHT AFTER THE FACT!!!!!!!!!!!! #LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN #WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT #i tried desperately to justify it in the ST movies because rey was established as having like #anakin-levels of force bullshit so why not. i mean anakin couldn't force heal for shit but whatever. #it's not like him having the ability to force heal would've neatly sidestepped the MAIN CONFLICT OF EPISODE 3 OR ANYTHING #STILL MADE MY EYEBROWS RAISE WHEN SHE HEALED KYLO. BUT I TRIED TO LOOK PAST IT. OUT OF GOOD FAITH. MOSTLY DESPERATION. #BUT WHAT! DO! YOU! MEAN!!!!! THAT PEOPLE CAN JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WALK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMPALEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BY LIGHTSABER!!!!!!!!!! #ON THE REGULAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #I GUESS QUI GON DYING WAS A FUCKING. SKILL ISSUE???????? #???????????????????????? #i need to go lie down. #dont talk 2 me about maul coming back in tcw it's an old wound i refuse to examine #''but in legends—'' i put my hand over your mouth so lovingly. No. <3 #i love star wars SO MUCH but they need 2 stop impaling people on lightsabers if they dont want them to be dead #LOP OFF A LIMB INSTEAD #okay im done. thank u for letting me yell it's all out of my system now #im back on the ''i love star wars'' train again <33

[bbreaddog]

Digital portrait of Alex from 2021 🥁🩷

#julie and the phantoms #jatp #jatp fan art #jatp art #alex mercer #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #there are so many pieces i made that i just never posted on tumblr bc none of my stuff previously got any attention so i was very much like #‘guess I’ll only post my stuff on instagram ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’ #but now that I’ve kind of ditched instagram I’m like. finally uploading all my shit here now #a big thing was the fucking SEARCH FUNCTION #which I’d turned off for privacy reasons re: google #but that also unfortunately means your posts don’t get seen anywhere unless ppl follow you #so. that’s why my art never got any attention #it’s bc i fucking took that away 😭 #so I’ve turned that back on… makes me feel hm :/ #like my posts are getting seen now which is good #but also the privacy part of it is ehhhh #i wish there was a way we could be unsearchable to third parties but still searchable on tumblr #alas. they go hand in hand #anyway… expect more of my art to appear some time in the near future #they will be mostly old pieces that I’ve posted on instagram before #i have no time nor the physical ability to really draw anything new rn #but for now pls enjoy these pieces i am very proud to finally share on tumblr :’) #oh this was also in collab with someone i no longer speak to so like. I don’t exactly feel comfortable saying that out loud on the post #so i won’t tag them here but the original collab is available on instagram if you know where to look #I know I’m not really making it easy rn but like the whole thing is actually worth the trouble of looking for it if you’re curious #I’m really glad we got to make that together #mine #i draw things

[ganondoodle]

is it too much of a reach to say that zelda being reduced to basically an object to farm items from in totk just kinda adds more salt to the wound of how badly shes treated?

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #i know im nitpicking #but i have talked about the big problems alot already #and now i start to see the smaller thingy that dont feel good #i guess you could see it as well if she wasnt farmable for items it would be weird compared to the other dragons #or that you are supposed to realize that you have been farming items from your best friend the whole time is to mean something #or maybe its just a game mechanic #i knew super early that the dragon was zelda #and when i saw i need items from her to upgrade my armor i was like .... im not gonna shoot out heR TEETH WTF #good thing she remembers nothing i guess #so she doesnt have to cope with the fact that link kept shooting off her scales - claws - teeth and horns #god i just want to see her have agency for once #and no i dont count begging unnamed faceless champion mcguffin guys to do a swear or dragonfying herself when she had no other option #thats not a character moving the plot but the plot shoving around a character imo #i want to see her go around HER hyrule and talk to people- solve mysteries- get more competent at defending herself- actively doing anythin #gnawing on wood as we speak

[teastainedprose]

Homelander pinky promises

Homelander isn't a tender man. He isn't soft or gentle. There's no room for such sentiments when you're a God. All the sweetness was wrung out ages ago. Vogelbaum had seen to that. Yet, when Ryan flings himself at him, he doesn't push his son away. He tightens his hold, mindful not to squeeze too tight even if Homelander knows Ryan is durable. He's a God as well, but a young one. Still tender and kind. When Ryan crawls into his lap as if he's far smaller than he truly is, Homelander simply adjusts on the couch to make room. He would never reject his son as he seeks closeness, knowing how alone he must have felt being left with 'Aunt' Grace. He's here now and that's all that matters. Homelander is determined to give his son the childhood he deserves. The one he never had. "You weren't lying when you said you're not mad, right?" Ryan asks, voice small. "Hey, what's all this-?" Homelander starts, but the expression on Ryan's face gives him pause. A myriad of expressions flicker across Homelander's features before it softens. "No, I wasn't lying."

"-and you're always going to be here for me, right?" Ryan shifts, grip tightening as he gives Homelander an uncertain look. "Yeah, I promise." Homelander huffs softly, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Pinkie promise?" Sitting up, Ryan holds out his hand with pinky extended. That perplexes Homelander for a second before he holds up his own hand. His gloves had been long removed before his visit with Ryan. He offers his pinky, "Pinky promise."

#Homelander #Ryan Butcher #The Boys #I mean of course this made me think of Ryan #Who else is gonna ask Homelander for a pinky promise? #dear anon you gotta give me Homelander x something unless you want me to go off the rails #the rails being making Homelander Dadlander every time I guess #I just think they're neat #drabble #anon ask #ask #Homelander Writing #Ryan Butcher Writing

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before #and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.” #and that made sense to me i think. #but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing. #and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much. #and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed #and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology. #i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now. #and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be?? #i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe. #will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore?? #maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know. #i don't know what it'll mean for me. #but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way #i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think #i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed. #because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people. #peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing. #there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing. #it's a product of all of his things. #just like me! just like everyone. #so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways. #a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be. #i don't think it's something that can be simplified. #sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags. #i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual. #sci speaks

[pikkish]

I thought it was hilarious, at first, that everyone’s decided Doomguy is still the protagonist of MyHouse.wad. After all, it doesn’t really have much more to do with Doom than gmod has to do with Half-Life 2. But then I remembered, isn’t that a plot point of Doom II? Visiting the burnt out ruins of your hometown on your way to the portal to Hell? Why couldn’t Doomguy take a few minutes to have a nightmare of an emotional journey in a childhood friend’s home to come to terms with everyone and everything he ever loved being destroyed?

#doom #myhouse.wad #lines i did #just to be clear i still do think its very funny that its been unanimously decided that dg is the protagonist of myhouse.wad #man has been fighting demons for thirty years and what does he get for his thirtieth birthday? more demons #except this time theyre mental and emotional demons #myhouse.wad does deserve all the popularity its getting tho #like.. yeah its amazing in its atmosphere n stuff #but its also nuts on a purely technological level #stepped inside the house the first time and just had to stop for a sec bc is that a hecking. BASEMENT?? a SECOND FLOOR in CLASSIC DOOM???? #that shouldnt even be POSSIBLE. #(i mean. it obviously IS possible w clever use of various teleport effects. but still. it was a bit of a :O !!!!!!! moment) #setting a ridiculously high bar right off the bat and then following through for the rest of the game in meeting it #anyway. it was really good. #i guess in this case the good end would be more of a metaphorical/mental state? #being at peace internally as u go to voluntarily enter the depths of hell... #or something like that; anyway. idk man i am still just going :eyes: at the whole thing