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mrwavellswaps · 8 months

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The Parental Solution - Loose Ends

(Make sure to read The Original Story first!)

I woke up to a sight I never imagined I’d see. My own dad sound asleep next to me in bed. A couple weeks it would’ve seemed insane. Sleeping in bed next to my dad who I could tell was naked just by how close we were under the sheets. Not that I could say anything since I was as well. I listened to him snore ever so slightly as I reflected on how the hell I’d even managed to get in this situation.

My best friend Jason took over my dad’s body using the potion I bought from a magic shop so he could get away from his terrible parents. Immediately after he picked up on my hidden crush for my dad and started teasing me about it all the time. Whispering dirty things in my ear using my dad’s raspy voice. Wear almost nothing around the house to show off his body to me whenever he could. And with everyday it got harder and harder to hide my growing lust for him. Finally he managed to tip me over the edge last night by sticking a hand into the bulge of his underwear before shoving that very same hand in my face moments later once it smelled deeply of my dad’s balls. After that I lost it and was sucking him off in the middle of the living room while he watched sports on TV as I finally gave in and started calling him Dad rather than Jason, even referring to him by my dad’s name Bryce from time to time. Then later in the evening, after he’d made me swallow his load and clean off his cock and balls, he made me service the rest of his body as well. That is until he’d recharged and decided to scoop me up before carrying me to his bedroom with a smug look on that stolen mature face of his.

Remembering what happened after that only made my ass throb more than it already did. My ‘Dad’ practically ripped open my clothes and tossed me onto the bed before drilling his dick into me in lord knows how many different positions for what felt like hours. All the while telling me how he was plowing me with the same dick that made me. I know I should’ve hated it but… I didn’t. I loved it. I loved every fucking second. And even as I looked over at him in bed with me, his morning wood pressing against the bed sheets, part of me wanted him to do it all again right then and there. Unfortunately I didn’t think my ass could handle another pounding just yet.

With a sigh I got up out of bed as quietly as possible to not wake my dad up. I tugged on some of my clothes from yesterday and made my way downstairs where I brewed myself a hot cup of coffee. I put some bread in the toaster and waited a couple minutes for it to pop out again before spreading some butter on it and digging in. Having some nice toast in the morning was certainly one way to try and distract myself from my painfully pulsing anus.

My attention however was then turned from my breakfast to a knocking at the door. It was a brisk but loud knock, as if made by someone that didn’t particularly want to be doing it. Regardless I set down made toast, wiped off my hands and marched towards the front door. I groggily opened up and of all the people I thought might’ve been knocking at our door, the man that I saw stood on the other side was the last person I could’ve imagined.

He was a middle aged albeit very handsome man. About average height with a sturdy body that’d definitely seen some time in the gym. He adorned a well trimmed salt and pepper haircut with a short beard that accentuated his somewhat thick mustache. But he wasn’t just any hot older daddy. He was Jason’s fucking dad!“Mr Simmons?”

“Ah. Aaron…” I could tell by the sour look on his face that he wasn’t exactly pleased to see me. “Is your father home? I’d like to speak to him.” He asked in a forcefully polite tone.

I had to stop myself from blushing at the mention of my own dad as my mind couldn’t help flashing back to last night. “Uhh yeah but he’s still in bed right now. Long day at work yesterday and what not…” I lied.

Mr Simmons sighed. “In that case I’ll ask you. It’s about my son. Jason.” He began and already I was trying even harder not to blush at the mention of my best friend turned father. “He’s been missing for over two weeks now and we haven’t found a single trace of him anywhere. It’s driving his mother and I mad. We’d begun to think the stupid boy had just ran off on his own until just the other day I was told someone saw him going into your house the night he disappeared. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you? Boy.” His tone turned threatening very fast.

“N-no. I have no idea where Jason is. All we did was hang out and then I thought he went home. I’ve got no idea where he is.” I expressed, clearly intimidated by the scouting man in front of me. Obviously it was another lie but what else could I say? Oh yeah sorry Mr Simmons but your son took over my dad’s body because you’re such an asshole and a terrible father? Yeah no. Unfortunately the older man didn’t seem pleased with my answer.

“Yeah? Well I think you know more about this than you’re telling me. I know you were the one always filling Jason’s head with all the queer bullshit. Trying to turn him into a faggot like you unlike the Christian man his mother and I have been raising him to be.” And there it was. One huge part of the reason Jason had hated his parents so much. On top of all the abuse and manipulation, they were also homophobic bible thumpers. I still remember Jason telling me how they’d always drag him to church while telling him he’d go to hell if he wasn’t straight and christian like they were. Apparently I was the only person he’d felt comfortable coming out to after all that. “You probably convinced him to run away with a bunch of those disgusting fairies didn’t you.” He continued to accuse, his fists balling up slightly.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel extremely intimidated at that moment. “I already told you. I don’t know where Jason is! He didn’t tell me anything alright! If I did, I promise I would tell you.” Once again bending the truth quite significantly but it was all I could do. Thankfully he seemed to buy it for now.

“Fine.” He relaxed his shoulders slightly, no longer looking as though he was gonna beat the shit out of me. “But if I find out you had anything to do with this…” his scowl was more evident than ever as he poked his finger against my chest. “I’ll make sure your faggot ass gets sent to hell sooner than you think.” And with an angry snuff he backed away before turning to leave, prompting me to let out a huge sigh of relief. Thankful to still be in one piece.

Seconds later I heard a pair of heavy footsteps behind me followed by a familiar set of thick arms wrapping around me. “Who was that?” Bryce, my new and improved dad, asked as he kissed my neck.

“It was your asshole father.”

Bryce immediately looked up to see the man marching away from our house. His former father. Before he took over this body of course. “Jesus… sorry you had to deal with him.” He apologised to me. “Though, this might be weird of me to say but, Mr Simmons is pretty hot now I think about it.” He admitted, knowing I couldn’t exactly judge him for it all things considered. “He’s got a pretty nice ass don't ya think?” As he said that I could already feel his hard cock pressing up against my back.

Naturally I couldn’t help checking out the ass of that bible thumper, still being just close enough for me to get a good view of how well those jeans framed it. “I guess so… I mean he’d probably be super fucking hot if he wasn’t such homophobic piece of shit among other things.” As I’d already admitted to myself, the man was a total daddy stud just like my own dad.

“If only a body like that belonged to someone who actually deserved it…” He murmured in my ear with a grin.

Right away I knew exactly what he was implying. But could I do that?! I mean his dad has quite the reputation around here. Being revered by some of the more radical church goers in the community as the perfect example of what a man should be while being hated by most others for being a complete dickhead. Even a lot of other Christian’s around here didn’t like him for how much he screamed about how the rest of us are gonna go to hell or whatever. Especially when it comes to the LGBTQ community. It was honestly disgusting the way he acted most of the time, even towards his own son. Yet I couldn’t help but agree that because of all that… maybe he didn’t deserve such a hot body.

———

There was a jingle as the door to a familiar magic shop opened up. “So this is where you got that crazy potion from before huh?” Bryce asked as he walked inside first, myself following close behind him. He looked around marvelling at the well decorated shop as his eyes scanned across all sorts of items that would seemingly have some kind of magical property I hidden within them.

“Yup. This is the place. I thought it was all fake when I first came here.” I replied as we made our way towards the front desk. However, the man standing at the desk wasn’t the same guy who’d served me last time. He wore the same strange uniform as the other guy had but it was a slightly older looking man this time. I couldn’t put my finger on it but he had a very ‘high school teacher’ vibe about him with the silver flecked hair and the glasses.

He smiled and ushered us over. “Welcome sirs! What can I help you with!” He asked enthusiastically. “We’ve got all sorts of magical items on sale here. Some are even sample-able!”

At first I assumed this was just another dude that helped run the shop. That is until I saw his name tag. “Simon? The guy who helped me out last time I was here was named Gil. He mentioned you were his boyfriend. When I was here he took a potion that made him huge and hairy to prove the magic was real.” I laughed

“Oh so you’re the customer he did that for eh? If I remember correctly he told me you bought nectar of the bodysnacher. How was it? Get the body you wanted?” He asked curiously.

I shrugged and turned to my dad who was standing behind and motioned towards him. “I dunno you’re gonna have to ask him. He’s the one who used it.” I explained. “He’s actually my best friend Jason. Same age as me. But we used the nectar so he could take over my dad’s body. And if you ask me he’s a better dad than my old one ever was!” I smirked, having fully embraced having a horny dad that wanted to fuck me.

“Woah! Now that’s something.” Simon commented. “Good choice though if I may add.” His eyes ran up and down Bryce’s body. The muscled dad had decided to wear some of his tightest clothes to show off every inch of his form, leaving very little to the imagination when it came to the curves of his muscles and the bulge in his crotch area.

“So what about Gil?” I wondered. “Did that potion finally wear off?”

Simon chuckled a little. “Well… uhhh no actually. It should’ve worn off by now but I’m gonna be honest, I was obsessed with what that muscle bear potion did to him. He’s so thick now that hardly any of his clothes fit and the few that do are skin tight. He’s got that massive jiggling belly and such thick arms and legs. God don’t even get me started on his huge ass. And all that body hair just drives me crazy!” He went on a bit of tangent about every minor detail of Gil’s new bear bod. “Long story short, I might’ve begged him to some more temporary muscle bear potions to extend the effects of it.” He admitted with a slightly embarrassed look. “I was thinking of even asking him to take a permanent one that doesn’t have a time limit hahah…”

“God that sounds hot…” Bryce chirped in, his own stolen cock pressing tightly against his pants as he pictured everything this man was saying.

“Anyway. Sorry. That was slightly unprofessional of me to share all that.” Simon stood up a little straighter and attempted to hide his own boner. “Oh! And speak of the devil!” He added, looking past me and Bryce.

The pair of us turn to see a huge bear of a man appearing from behind one of the aisle. I recognised him right away as the same man that sold me that potion last time I was here. Gilgamesh! And just like Simon had said, that potion certainly hadn’t worn off. He was even now wearing the same clothes as last time except a much bigger size to accommodate his bigger body. He recognised me right away and came up to say hello.

“Hey what’s up! Is this your friend that you told me about?” Gil asked as his eyes scanned Bryce’s body just like Simon’s had.

“Yup! But now I’ve gotta call him Dad.” I went on to explain everything to Gil. Telling him all about how Bryce and I had snuck into my Dad’s room while he was asleep after getting Bryce to drink the nectar and putting a pair of my dad’s used socks. We even ended up telling him about how our relationship had progressed to… new depths since then.

“Well I’m glad to hear everything worked out for the two of you!” Gil said as he went in for a big bear hug. “Sorry. Side effect of the muscle bear potion. Makes me wanna bear hug everyone.” He apologised with a guffaw though I certainly didn’t mind being squeezed against his big belly. “Anyway, as much as I love seeing the aftermath of one of my sales, I get the feeling you’re here for something else.”

Bryce and I shared a glance. “Well you see. There’s a man that lives on our street. Total asshole. Harasses those who don’t go to church. Threatens innocent people that do things he doesn’t agree with. And treated his own son like dirt.” Bryce began using my dad’s gruff voice, knowing he used to be that son before everything changed for the better. “But the thing… despite all that he’s still hot as fuck.”

I took over from there. “So the two of us have decided that someone as horrible as him doesn’t deserve to have such an incredible body and that someone else should be given it instead. So we were hoping you might still have some of that bodysnachers nectar around here?” I wiggled my eyebrows a little at the man who’s name was displayed on the shop sign.

Gil smirked. “Ahhh I see. Well in that case we better go take a look.” He enthusiastically slung a big hairy arm over my shoulder before leading Bryce and I over to the very same aisle he’d taken me to last time. I could see out of the corner of my eye how Bryce was stopping here and there to read the labels and descriptions of certain items. My attention however was swiftly brought back to Gil as the burly man stopped in front of some rather empty looking shelves. “Ahhh yes. A large group of old men came here the other day and bought a bunch of bodysnatcher’s nectar in bulk. They were planning something about sneaking into a college frat house and taking over all the young jocks there I think. They wouldn’t stop talking about wanting to be young dumb and full of… well you get the idea.” He explained nonchalantly. Just the idea of that had me hard as fuck. “But if you’re lucky… there might just be…” Gil stuck his arm down the shelf and reached right towards the back until his meaty hand finally grabbed something. “One left at the back!” He he pulled out one last bodysnatcher’s nectar with a big cheesy grin before handing me the vial.

“Thanks so much Gil! I’ll promise I’ll put those to good use. You can count on that!” I reassured him. “How much do I owe ya again?” I reached into my pocket for some money but as I did the bigger man stopped me.

“It’s on the house this time.” He generously offered. “All I ask in return is that you come back again once you’ve taken your new body so my boyfriend and I can judge for ourselves just how hot this asshole really is.” Gil gave me a reassuring pat on the back. “Besides, judging by how interested your ‘Dad’ is in those spell books, I suspect the two of you’ll be bringing us some more business soon enough.” He gestured over towards Bryce who had his nose deep in one of said spell books.

———

“Do you remember where the spare key is?” I whispered, now stood outside Jason’s old house where both of his religious parents of course still lived. Bryce didn’t say a word. He simply reached up and into the hanging flower basket above my head before pulling out a key. “I’ll take that as a yes.” We discreetly unlocked the front door, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible as we slipped inside.

With how many times Jason had been to my house over the years, I’d never actually been to his. I gotta say though, it’s exactly what I’d imagined. Dull, muted colours. Mundane decorations and furniture. Crosses hung up on half the walls in the house. There was even a huge bible quote on one of the living room walls as if it were a live laugh love sign. And the awkward, blank faced family photos only made it weirder.

“Now you can see why I hated living here.” Bryce stated bluntly. He almost always acted like my dad to an extent but right now he couldn’t help remembering his old life before becoming a dilf and it wasn’t pleasant. “Let’s just get on with this. My parents' room is upstairs.” He hurried us along, ascending the steep staircase.

Before long he led us to a rather large and tidy bedroom. Freshly cleaned sheets, sparkling mirrors, not a single item of clothing lying around. If I had to give Jason’s parents something, they were definitely clean and organised. Not that it was much everything else considered. I didn’t let the cleanliness distract me from the reason we were here though. “So. Where’s your dad’s stuff?”

“Over here.” Bryce took us over to the left side of the bed. There he swiftly yanked open a few of the bedside drawers until he eventually pulled one open filled with men’s socks and underwear. “This is his. Grab something quick. It won’t be long before he’s back from work.”

I reached into the draw and quickly pulled out a pair of white socks with black stripes on them. “And you’re sure your mom isn’t gonna be with him or anything?”

He shook his head. “Nope. She works late on Monday’s. She shouldn’t be back till the late evening. We’ll have hours to do this before she even leaves work.” Bryce explained. “My dad on the other hand should be here any second so you’d better drink that magic stuff now.”

I didn’t argue. Right away I reached into my pocket and pulled out the vial. Nectar of the bodysnatcher. The very same stuff that’d given Bryce the more mature body he flaunted now. I twisted off the lid and without a second thought downed the entire thing. Right away I could feel something strange. It was the magic settling inside my body and waiting to be activated. Once that was done I kicked off my own shoes and socks before tugging on the clean socks belonging to none other than Nolan Simmons.

“Did you feel it?” Bryce asked.

“Feel what?”

“The spark. When you pulled the socks on?”

I had no idea what he was talking about. “Spark? What spark?”

He looked just as confused as me. “A couple weeks back when I pulled on your dad’s socks before taking his body, I felt a weird spark the moment I pulled them on. You’re saying you didn’t-” Bryce cut himself off as suddenly we heard the front door swing open and a familiar voice from downstairs muttering about how his stupid wife hadn’t locked the door before leaving this morning. Well if we needed any more proof that he was an asshole, there it was.

“Shit, shit. Quick! Hide!” I whispered in a panicked voice. We did exactly as we’d planned. Bryce quickly hid behind the bedroom door while I hid in the closet. I feel like there might’ve been some irony there but I was far more distracted by the sound of Mr Simmons’s angry footsteps ascending the stairs. As he did I could only hope everything went according to plan otherwise Bryce and I would probably end up in a jail cell.

Quickly the footsteps reached the top of the stairs before trudging down the hallway and towards the bedroom. Bryce readied himself. Another moment or two passed by and my heart practically skipped a beat when I saw the same man that’d been threatening me this morning enter the room through the cracks in the closet door. He seemed as though he was heading in my direction and immediately I began to think of what a man like that would do if he found me hiding in here. Luckily however, before he could reach the closet, Bryce came out from behind the door before quickly sneaking up on the man and grabbing him from behind without warning! Restraining the man he once called his father as best he could.

“W-WHAT THE!? GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!” Mr Simmons shouted in a blaze of shock and panic. “LET GO OF ME YOU-GRAHH!” His protest was interrupted as James forced his former father to the ground. Nolan Simmons might’ve been strong but my dad was pretty strong in his own right. Strong enough to overpower Nolan in a surprise situation like this. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!? WHO ARE YOU?!” He continued to scream and shout, not being able to get a proper look at the man that was holding him down.

“Stop struggling asshole. Just give in and soon you’ll feel soooo much better.” Bryce cooed into the protesting man’s ear.

Nolan's eyes went wide. He recognised that voice. The voice of a man he once had a close friendship with that was eventually ripped apart. All because their sons began hanging out and ‘encouraging each other to be queer’ as Nolan put it. “Hold on…Bryce??”

“You’re half right.” I cut the struggling man off as I stepped out from my hiding spot. “You know when you came to my house this morning asking about Jason? Well. I lied. I know exactly where your son is.” I took a few steps closer until I was stood looking down at the very same man that’d seemed so intimidating to me not so long ago. “He’s right there, holding you down.” I said bluntly, causing Mr Simmon’s face to twist in confusion. “I’ve gotta say he makes a much more loving father than you and my former dad combined.” I taunted.

The bible thumper could hardly believe or even understand what he was hearing so instead he resorted to throwing a slurry of homophobic slurs at the two of us. All the while trying in vain to kick his way out of Bryce’s grip. Usually hearing those kinds of hurtful words would’ve pissed both of us off but right now, knowing what was to come for this man, we couldn’t help but pity him. Even if he didn’t deserve it.

“Lift him up a little for me would you dad?. I’ve gotta kiss him to activate the magic, remember?” I asked.

Bryce smirked, adjusting his position a little before carefully maneuvering himself and the other man until Nolan was on his knees with his arms restrained and his ankles pinned. Unable to move. “How’s that?”

“Perfect.” I said while getting a better look at the body before me. That handsome face that seemed so masculine yet somewhat adorable at the same time. Those pecs pressing tightly against his shirt. That noticeable bulge in his work pants. And so sooo much more. And Nolan didn’t deserve a single bit of it. But I did. Then much to the man’s disgust, I stripped off all my clothes in a blink of an eye leaving only the pair of stolen socks on my feet. Standing proud with a victorious look on my face as I let my average dick swing free infront a homophobe.

Part of me wanted to bask in the moment a little more but I was far too eager to get this underway. And so I quickly got down onto my knees and before Nolan could do anything to stop me, I pressed my lips hard against his. He tried to recoil but he couldn’t go far. I had him… or at least I thought I did. I kissed him for a good 10 seconds or so and nothing happened to the point where I eventually found myself pulling away.

“W-what?” I muttered, not understanding why it hadn’t worked. At the same time Nolan took the opportunity to spit at me and shout even more slurs. Even angrier than before as he called us before disgusting perverts. I asked Bryce and he didn’t seem to have any idea either… that is until I remembered what he’d said earlier just after I’d pulled on the socks. “Wait… no spark.” I mumbled. That’s when it hit me. Step 2 of getting the nectar to work was wearing a recently worn article of clothing. These socks were washed and put away unlike the dirty pair of socks Bryce used when he took over my Dad.

“What is it Aaron?! Why didn’t it work?” Bryce asked, starting to get a little worried as they didn’t really have a backup plan.

“I think I know.” I pulled off the fresh socks I’d stolen before walking around and behind to two men. “Just keep him still. I’m gonna try something.” I crouched down and shuffled between Bryce’s legs a little until I had easy access to Nolan’s large brown loafers. Against his wishes I slipped his shoes off and put them to one side, finding it hard to ignore the strong scent that came with them. Unleashing those large socked feet. “If these don’t work then nothing will.” I stated before gripping the sweaty black socks and pulling them off Nolan’s feet one at a time. And I knew I probably shouldn’t since I criticised Bryce for doing it before but I couldn’t help giving the pungent socks a quick sniff. With that I made my way back around in front of them.

“What!? You wanna huff on my socks now you disgusting cock sucker!?!” Nolan yelled.

I took the large pair of socks and began tugging them on. “Oh I want a whole lot more than that.” Just then, as I pulled the second sock on, I felt it. The spark. Coursing through my body. My confidence that’d been wavering momentarily then rushed back in full stride. “I want to touch, smell and see your body wherever I go. I want to turn your homophobic ass into homo this side of the earth. I want… you.” There was an almost crazed look in my eyes that even spooked Bryce a little as I grabbed the sides of Nolan’s head. “And now. You’re going to be all mine.” And with that I slammed my lips against his with even more passion than before. Feeling his thick mustache forced to rub against my upper lips while he groaned in protest through the kiss, unable to stop me.

His groans of protest would quickly turn to grunts of fears as the magic began to activate. It seemed all I needed was a more recently worn pair of socks as now our lips were stuck together and impossible to part. Seeing that the process had begun, Bryce let go of his father and the first thing the panicking man tried to do was pull away from me. But to no avail. Because of this Nolan began freaking out! Forcing both of us up to our feet before stumbling around the room. For a second Bryce looked as though he was about to step in again until I used all my strength to push Nolan onto the bed causing him to fall back onto the soft sheets with my naked body on top of him. And before he had another chance to move I wrapped my arms and legs around him tight.

Nolan made every effort to break free but I’d latched on tight and wasn’t about to let go. Before he could fight against me any further though, the most delightful sensation imaginable passed over my entire being causing me to let out an involuntary moan into the kiss. And to my surprise Nolan made a similar groan. His eyes had begun to roll back slightly as I could only imagine a similar sensation had overtaken him. If anything he must’ve been in even more ecstasy than I was judging by how his thick rod had begun to harden in his pants, causing his bulge to rub up against me. But through all the grunts and groans I could tell he still wanted to fight but the pleasure that ran through him was draining any strength he might’ve had to fight back against me. Before long Nolan's body couldn’t help but give in to me and before long, the next phase was underway.

It’d been one thing seeing Jason disappear inside my dad’s body but actually feeling my own body and limbs begin to get sucked inside Nolan’s large muscular frame was something else entirely! My hands were one of the first things to go, phasing through his shirt and into his back as I still had my arms wrapped around him. My legs then began naturally aligning themselves with Nolan’s bulky ones before slowly sinking in. The feeling was beyond anything I’d ever imagined. Even as my torso began to lower itself into the older man’s frame, there wasn’t even an ounce of pain. Nothing but pure bliss as my entire form went completely numb! I rubbed my crotch against his as much as I possibly could before that too phased through the man’s pants and was pulled down into his body.

Soon enough my arms, legs, ass and cock had all disappeared, pulled inside Nolan’s body much to his distain. Honestly I was surprised he hadn’t gone delirious from the raw amount of satisfaction the magic seemed to bring. Yet somehow he regained some semblance of awareness only to be horrified seeing my torso sinking into his. He practically screamed into the kiss as our eyes were forced to meet. His eyes were darting all over frantically, trying to move his body but feeling too weak to do anything. It was too late anyway as I could feel my face drawing nearer to his as even that was being pulled down at last along with the rest of my head. Before long my vision completely blanked out…

After that Nolan regained full control of his body to an extent. “N-NO! Get out of meeee! Gahhhh!…” he yelled and grunted, feeling my presence inside of his body. But despite his best efforts he couldn’t fight against me nor could he stop his cock from getting unbearably hard. He practically begged Bryce to help him but the idle man did nothing but watch in satisfaction, finally getting to see his horrible father get exactly what he deserved. “Y-you’re demons! Both of you! Unholy demons!!” He claimed while writhing around on the bed, struggling to control himself. He tried to get up from the bed but his cock pulsed even harder, threatening to burst out of his pants at any moment. His balls swelling up fatter than ever before as they prepared to unload every ounce of his free will. “Nooooo… I can’t… I-Urrghhh…” He grabbed at his crotch uncontrollably, mouth hanging open with the overflow of stimulation being forced through it until finally… “FUUUUCKKKKK GRAHHHHHhhhhhhhuuuhh…” What started as a massive roar of protest slowly faded as Nolan blew the fattest load of his life. A massive dark spot forming over his bulge as he flooded his pants with cum.

The second Nolan spilled his ball batter, I found myself being hurled into the driver’s seat. Right away I was hit with the tail end of the orgasm and couldn’t help grinning. Feeling my new fat cock buck as it squirted a few final ropes of dad nut into my already sticky pants. “Ohh yeahhhhh…” I let out a huge sigh of relief knowing that I’d won. Even as the cum soaked into my new work pants, I could feel Nolan soul being absorbed by my own. Feeling every memory and personality trait of his slowly became accessible to me as I became the one and only Nolan Simmons.

“How do you feel Nolan?” Bryce moved closer towards the bed, knowing now that the man he’d once hated was gone for good. Replaced by someone far superior. Me.

I grumbled a little, holding my head before slowly sitting up. I glanced down at myself, seeing the thick muscle I now adorned still hidden underneath Nolan’s clothes. I even had on the same black socks that I’d stolen from him again. Back on the feet they were meant for. I flexed my arms a little, feeling my biceps strain against my shirt before bringing my hands to my chest so I could feel juicy pecs that sat upon it. God feeling this kind of bulk on another man was one thing but feeling it on myself was a whole other level of euphoric. Feeling the power that now flowed through my bigger and stronger body with every movement I made. “I feel fucking fantastic Bryce.” I replied while running a hand over my wet bulge.

Slowly I pushed myself up off the bed, my new larger feet touching the ground for the first time. I wobbled a little at first, not used to my new weight, but I quickly adjusted. Bryce simply stood back and allowed me to explore myself for a moment. Watching on as I made my way towards the circular mirror sat on the dresser. And what I saw made me feel a whole flurry of emotions. Staring back at me was the same handsome face that’d been screaming obscenities at us not moments prior. The piercing eyes belonging to the homophobe that made Jason’s life a living hell for so many years. The salt and pepper hair along with this beard and mustache that were trademarks of a man that embodied all the worst parts of the christian community. But I was none of those things. I might’ve stolen his dashing looks and gorgeous body but I was a proud gay man and an ally to all others in the LGBTQ community. Something the old Nolan would’ve despised being. But what he wanted didn’t matter because I was Nolan now and I plan on putting a hot ass body like this to far better use.

Not being able to resist the temptation, I pulled off my new shirt before tossing it at Bryce so I could finally get a better look at what I was working with and I certainly wasn’t disappointed. Though he kept in very good shape, the old Nolan wasn’t one to show off his physique all that often so I’d never had the luxury of seeing him shirtless before. But if anything that only made this moment sweeter as I freed my new pecs from their prison and began groping them to my hearts content. Adoring how squishy they were but so firm when I flexed them. Admiring the dusting of chest hair that spread across them. I was only able to pull my hands away from my chest when the desire to flex my biceps again grew too strong to ignore.

Once I was satisfied with the admiration I’d given to my broad upper body (for now), my gaze couldn’t help shifting towards my lower half. A toothy grin spread across my face that seemed extremely out of character for this face as I unhooked my belt and undid pants. I could feel Bryce's eyes watching intently and I yanked down both my pants and cum soaked underwear at the same time, allowing my still half hard cock to spring out. And what a cock it was. It’s length was about average sitting at around 6 inches but god the girth! It was one of the thickest chicks I’d ever seen from the base all the way up to its fat mushroom head which was still drooling cum. And it was mine along with the heavy set of balls that came with it. No wonder Nolan always acted like a hard ass with a pair of bull nuts this big to inflate his ego.

I went on to admire my legs a little after getting over the initial shock that came with my new still twitching dick. Running my hands along my sizeable quads before giving my bulky calves a squeeze. But by far what stole the show was my hot muscle dad ass. We’d already gotten a good idea of how big it was by how its shape was still visible even through some of Nolan’s baggiest pants. But now we got the full show. Nolan’s thick cheeks on full display. And naturally it didn’t take long for me to start squeezing and jiggling them to your delight. Though, considering how the rest of my body had a decent coating of hair, I was surprised to feel how smooth my new ass was.

“You havin fun over there…” Bryce commented, prompting me to turn my attention to him for a moment. When I did I noticed he’d at some point whipped out his own dick as was slowly jerking it to the display I’d been putting on. I guess deep down we were both hot for daddy. Our own daddies at that.

“I’ll be having even more fun when I get this tight virgin hole of mine stretched.” I paced over towards Bryce, giving him a truly affectionate look that he doubt he’d ever seen on his fathers face before. “So how’s about you get in the bed and get your cock ready for me.” I commanded, allowing Nolan’s somewhat dominant nature to seep through.

I didn't need to ask him twice. In a flash Bryce was completely naked, showing off his hairy body once again, before practicing leaping onto the bed with his hands behind his head and his cock standing tall and ready. Now this was a sight. Two best friends stealing the body of each other’s dad only to wanna fuck one another immediately after. In Nolan’s case I suppose it was somewhat poetic justice for everything that he did and said. But it didn’t really matter because the only Nolan left around here was me.

With a lustful smirk I sauntered my way towards the bed before crawling on top of Bryce. Allowing my brand new dad ass to hover gently above his cock as we stared into each other’s eyes. Completely lost in the fantasy of it all until I lent down and pushed my lips against his. It was probably the first time these lips had ever kissed another man willingly but it certainly wouldn’t be the last as I felt our beards gently rubbing together while our kiss deepened. As it did I slowly lowered my ass until Bryce’s throbbing cock was massaging my entrance.

It was then that I broke the kiss and pinned Bryce down with my newfound strength. “Now. I’d say it’s about time we use that big dad dick of yours son to fill your old man’s needy hole.” I sneered down at him, letting him know exactly how I felt all those times he used my dad’s voice to call me son. And by the way his dick began lathering my ass with precum moments later, I could only assume he enjoyed it. However I didn’t let him waste too much of his precious seed before reaching back and grabbing his cock, aligning it perfectly with my hole. “Now gimme that dick!” I roared before lowering myself onto the rod with a deep and guttural moan.

Right away I got to work. Bouncing up and down on that dick as best I could while holding Bryce down. It was intense to say the least. With an asshole this tight I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t quite painful at first but I was willing to push through it if it meant being able to take cock even better with this formerly straight christian ass in the future. At times I moaned my own dad’s name, Bryce, while at other times moaning his original name, Jason, in an attempt to fulfil both our fantasies at once. But as I was slowly able to force more and more of his dick inside me, I eventually stopped calling him Jason all together and decided just to stick to Bryce. Because that’s who he was now. My boyfriend Bryce. Another dad that lives across the street from me. Nolan. A former homophobe turned gay power bottom. Aaron and Jason were simply the names of our two sons who ran off together and memories of them would soon fade into obscurity.

At multiple points I could tell Bryce was eager to flip up over and do the fucking himself but I refused to let him. I might’ve been the one getting fucked here but I was still the one in charge. Whether he liked it or not he was gonna stay put and be my personal fuck pole until I was nice and full. And between all the kissing, touching and dirty talking, I could tell that time was starting to grow near. His balls prepared themselves for the tsunami that was bound to come at this rate.

Feeling this only served to drive me further onwards. Making sure to grind my thick dad butt all the way down to the base. Honestly I didn’t think I’d be able to do it on this body’s first time taking dick but lo and behold I pulled it off. It was painful but boy, just the feeling of filling this new ass of mine completely with cock released an almost incomparable amount of dopamine in my brain. The only thoughts running through my mind were ‘dick’ and ‘cum’ as the levels of joy I was feeling almost matched the pleasure I got from hearing Bryce’s moans echoing through the household. Moans that only continued to get louder and needier until finally I got exactly what I wanted.

The man below me tensed up as his cock began to spasm inside me. I didn’t need three guesses to know what that meant. Especially when I felt his thick hot seed coating my insides while I drained Bryce’s balls to the last drop. Watching as he writhed in pleasure beneath me while unloading buckets worth of cum inside. Seeing his hands grip the bed sheets as his former father pressed his ass down on it a couple more times. Continuing to bounce on his cock until he begged me to stop due to how sensitive it was. Eventually, when I felt as though his cock had nothing left to give me, I adhered to his pleas and released his cock from my asshole’s tight grip.

“Better get used to that babe. From now on I plan on making you drain at least one load into me everyday. This new ass of mine is hungry.” I grinned deviously at him before kissing along his neck, feeling my new mustache rub against his skin. “Your dad was wasting it for so long so I’m gonna make up for all the years he neglected this beautiful ass.” My face moved closer to the hairy pit under his arm. “Mmmm now it’s time for papa to get a good taste of that!” I stated before shoving my nose deep into one of his sweaty armpits and inhaling the gorgeous post sex scent they exuded. I couldn’t help but notice how they smelt subtly different now that I was sniffing them with a different nose. Regardless, they still smelt just delicious. So much so that before long I was running my tongue along his pits greedily to lap up the sweat.

“Do you think… we should head back… to my place before… your wife gets home.” Bryce said between labored breaths.

“I suppose so.” I agreed. “Let me just finish cleaning off your pits. Then we can grab some of my clothes and get out of here.” I added before lapping up more of that delicious salty sweat his hairy pits produced.

———

It’d been roughly three weeks since that day. After we left Nolan's house that day, we hardly ever went back. We took everything of Nolan’s that I might need and brought them back to our place where we stayed after that. Of course my new Wife was furious when I said I was leaving her for Bryce but there wasn’t shit she could do about it. I even told her all about the furious gay sex we had and how he satisfied me more than she ever could by filling me up with cum. It might sound harsh but she wasn’t much better of a parent than the old Nolan so it was karma really. After that she was quick to file for a divorce which I was happy to sign upon being given the papers.

Now Bryce and I live happily together. We both worked pretty much the same jobs our dad’s did before which wasn’t all that hard with their memories. We even went to the gym together which was incredibly fun. However the best part was always getting home and taking off our sweaty clothes so we could swap 'em and sniff each other’s damp, pungent gym clothes. While I usually went for the pouch on his underwear first, my ass sweat must’ve smelt particularly good to him as he always went for the back of my underwear first.

This was then almost always followed up by some hot steamy dad sex. I would always make him bust a load in my hole first but if the prostate stimulation wasn’t enough to make me blow my own nut then we’d flip and I’d fuck his ass relentlessly until he was just as full of cum as I was. Regardless it would seem the power dynamic there had certainly shifted in my favour which I wasn’t gonna complain about.

Besides that however we were already living happier lives than we ever had before. The only bad thing about it all was all the questions people would ask and the odd looks thrown our way for this sudden change in our behaviour. Because of this I suggested to Bryce about looking for a new place to start our lives fresh elsewhere. Somewhere that we wouldn’t already be known by the community. Somewhere we can just be Bryce and Nolan, the hot horny couple of dad’s in the neighborhood. Bryce seemed to like that idea so now we’re looking online for places to move to.

The only hiccup in that plan was that we didn’t want to move too far from Gil’s magic shop. We went back after I became Nolan and Gil himself seemed very impressed with the new form I’d taken. After explaining our moving situation however, he told us not to worry about it. Apparently there were a bunch more Gil’s magic shops all around the world. According to him all of them are connected and every single one has a door portal that brings them to the same place. So regardless of where we move we’ll likely still be able to visit. As confusing as that was, I kinda understood.

With that though, Bryce and I were just excited to begin this new chapter together. And perhaps even spice things up from time to time by purchasing a few more items from Gil’s shop. Regardless I was sure that from this point on, our lives were going to be perfect…

If you love my stories then please consider supporting me on Patreon as well!! ❤️

#magic #permanent #male body theft #identity theft #age progression #absorption #hairy #dad #straight to gay #mental change #revenge #sweaty men #smelly

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 1 month

Text

Hope Morphin Q&A

About a few months ago, I got a message from a surprising source: @hmrphin/Hope Morphin.

In case you don't know, Hope Morphin is a model and makeup artist who the character of Marc was based on. I also made a post about how their friendship with Astruc had ended thanks to the Rising Sun Flag controversy, which they had actually read one day. We talked a little, and they told me to message them on their Instagram to confirm that this is the real Hope.

They said they'd be down to answer some questions, I came up with a few, and I got their permission to post this on my account. So, without further ado, as Sid the Science Kid once said, let's go get some answers.

Question: When did you and Thomas first get to know each other, and how?

Answer: It was years ago, when the series premiered on TFOU. There were a lot of people complaining on twitter that the characters of the show were in 3D instead of in 2D, and I answered one of Thomas' tweets saying that characters' butts looked better in 3D rather than in 2D (yeah, I had a terrible sense of humor back then, glad I don't do that anymore) and he answered "yeah we could say that lol". Then, it became a running gag between us on the web, and we met for the first time at a french convention called Japan Tours, the 2015 one. So yeah, I think it was when I was... 20/21 years old, something like that.

Question: It's okay. We've all been cringe at some point in their lives. Did you two meet up again after the convention?

Answer: Yup. In fact, after the convention, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. Then, we chatted for a bit and he asked me if I wanted to be a model for him, and I met him for the second time during that model session.

Question: How did Thomas approach you about creating a character in his show based on you?

Answer: So, it was after I modeled for him. It happened after S1 has ended, so when we were chatting, he asked me which one was my favorite character. I answered Nathaniel, because at this time I felt quite close to this one (we love the angsty artist boy lmao). He told me that he didn't understand people liking Nath because he found it was a very empty character aha, but then he told me that they were searching for inspiration to create a boyfriend for him. He told me he wanted the persons to be happy that he got a boyfriend and that they would “stop bothering him with Nathaniel”, and as he wanted to take inspiration on someone looking androgynous he thought I was a good inspiration, so I accepted.

Question: Interesting story. Didn't know Nathaniel was so popular before Season 2. Did you have any input in the creation of Marc in terms of stuff like his design or personality?

Answer: Yeah he rather was, I remember a lot of people wanted to see more of him ehe. Not at all, I even though that he was joking on the moment, then one day he sent me Marc's characters sheet. I had the same haircut back in the day. Also, I was always wearing armor rings and I was wearing those kind of rings when I had this conversation with him, and he told me that Marc was going to have one of those as his miraculous. I was also still writing a lot back in the days, so I guess he still did took some stuff there and there in my personality to create him.

Question: You mean this design?

Answer: Yup! I was wearing only black sooo yeah the red and rainbow wasn't in my wardrobe aha.

Question: Do you know why they made the design rainbow themed?

Answer: Nah, he didn't told me :/ My guess is to make him more LGBT+ themed...

Question: Okay, sorry. Next question: What are your thoughts on Marc as a character? What do you think of his relationship with Nathaniel and his respective villain and hero forms, Reverser and Rooster Bold?

Answer: To be honest, when he first appeared, I really liked him. I thought he had a lot of potential as a character, his villain form was really cool and I really liked the ideas behind him, and I liked the relationship that he got with Nathaniel, from enemies to associates ehe. But after that... meh. There wasn't nothing much on the LGBT+ relationship with Nathaniel (we had to wait until the end of season 5 to see them hold hands... wow), and I didn't really find myself anymore in his character. I liked the design of his hero form and I liked the concept of his power, but like the other heroes that appeared during this episode, we didn't see Rooster Bold that much and I think that doesn't really make him feel appealing. I have the feeling that Marc and many other side characters could be way more develop in very cool subthemes but this is never really done in the series. Instead, now, they are just the characters getting out a whiteboard and giving terrible ideas to Marinette for her to date Adrien =="

Question: Just for fun, do you have any personal headcanons for Marc?

Answer: Well of course ehe, I have ton of those :D

Mmmh... For example, I think he is a dog person, that he's also fond of fashion such as Marinette but that he just don't have the patience to learn how to draw and how to design clothes... Also have the headcanon that him and Nath often meet at one of their places to do some little workshops together to work on their series and on tons of other projects :D

Got also tons of headcanon for future!Marc, such as him being a model for lgbt+ brands and Nath designing his clothes, I would love to see this shy patootie being at the front of the spotlight ehe, full of confidence and all :D There's tons of ideas to have with this character, I remember when I saw lots of artists drawing him with alternate clothes back in the day, such as shishitsunari or hazy (will try to find them back but it's been a while lol). I wish those clothing styles would be canon, with Marc rocking those kind of genderless clothes.

Links to fanart of Marc with different outfits: (https://www.deviantart.com/hazydayclouds/art/72918-756895643) and (https://ladyofacat.tumblr.com/post/176231424098/rises-from-the-underworld-marc-is-perfect-i-want)

Question: This one's a little tough, so if you don't want to answer, that's perfectly fine. What exactly went down before Thomas blocked you? Did you have any conversation online or in real life regarding the use of the Rising Sun Flag in "Ephemeral", or did Thomas just block you with no warning?

Answer: Honestly ? Blocked me without any warning. We were talking less and less, and, since I have affective dependancy, I had the feeling that I said / done something wrong. He was often answering only when I was defending him on social medias during these times. But we didn't have any harsh conversation from what I recall. So, I did the tweet about ephemeral, pointing out the use of the rising sun flag, and, well, maybe he had a plugin on twitter that blocked everyone using the term "flag", and maybe it blocked me automatically. The thing is : he has my number, he has my address (well, my old address now, lol). He had many ways to tell me this was a misunderstanding and that he didn't want to block me. He didn't call me, didn't send me any text after that to talk about it, so he clearly didn't want to make anything to sort out the problem. To this day, he still hasn't send me any message to talk about it. He commented on some of my facebook posts I did last year (I posted some makeups I did for my school) just saying it was cool, so... Yeah, not the type of friend I want to keep. I still have him as a friend on FB if I ever get the guts to try to send him a message to tell him everything that was wrong towards me and towards other people, but I clearly have other things to deal with lately.

Question: So he blocked you and didn't say anything else?

Answer: Yup, exactly, blocked me and didn't say anything else :/ After years of supporting him lmao.

Question: I'm really sorry to hear that. And you still haven't heard from him after all this time?

Answer: Well, apart from some comments he made on my facebook posts (I posted my makeup from my makeup school and he commented "very nice!") nothing at all. But honestly I'm not too bothered by that. I heard new stuff that he did prior and I really don't think it's a good idea that I interact with him again. I keep him in my facebook friends because maybe one day I'll send him a message to try to confront him, telling him that he had a very terrible behavior towards me and other people... But not today, I have other stuff to deal with.

Question: Despite everything that's happened between you and Thomas, do you still keep up with Miraculous Ladybug? If so, what do you think of it?

Answer:

Well, I've kept up with it because I still have lots of friends who are watching it (for example Octolady, Kogenta and Candy...), and they help me keep a little hype.

So I watched the episodes... There are some stuff that I like. There's good LGBT+ representation, and I like seeing an international known cartoon doing that (especially a french one since we have lots of far-right rising lately).

But honestly, I don't have the same hype as before. At the beginning, I was hyped because S1 looked awesome and had lots of cool fights, lots of wholesome characters and all, but the animation problems and differences are really making me bothered. Also, I have the feeling there's a lot of characters who could be more elaborated and who aren't, and... That's kinda sad, because there's a lot of topics that could be explored thanks to them and not just brushed off in one episode.

Plus, to be honest, I didn't really like the ending of S5. And I don't like the idea of it going on for seasons and seasons and seasons, milked until there's nothing more for it. The fewer the better in my mind...

I also seen the movie and didn't really liked it. Too much fanservice and didn't really made sense. The animation was nice, though.

Honestly, I love the writing team, they are wholesome people and they are doing their best for this show, but people like Thomas and Zag are the kind of people I don't want to support anymore. So yeah... To sum it up : still watching it from afar to see if nice stuff is happening, been pleased with some little stuff, displeased with a lot more, but I don't think I'll keep watching it both because I'm not that hyped up anymore and because I don't want to support anymore these 2 people. I supported Thomas too much before, was too attached to him and was a terrible person towards fans who didn't deserved it because I was too blind, so yeah, won't happen anymore.

Still, I'm glad there's still some people who are fans of Marc and who felt helped thanks to this character. I really hope he will have a better representation in the future (clear relationship with Nath, maybe even some trans / non-binary representation ?) in order to inspire young people.

----------------------------------------------------------

I'd like to personally thank Hope for being willing to answer my questions, and I highly reccommend giving their Instagram a follow.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #thomas astruc #thomas astruc salt #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt #marc anciel #rooster bold #reverser

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moonyswritinq · 10 days

Note

howdy! i recently stumbled upon your account and saw that your requests were open. i have a small request for a newt x m!reader one-shot. feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like you're up for it 👍

maybe one where the reader has longer hair, and is a runner, as the weather's gotten warmer it's starting to become more of a chore when it comes to maintaining it so he asks newt to help him cut it? it can be as silly or goofy as you want, platonic or romantic is up to you.

i hope you're having a great day and enjoying the fall weather

-🦇

if the haircut fits — newt x male reader

❝ IF THE HAIRCUT FITS ❞

Thank you so much for the request, Bat. So sorry it took so long to finish, and I kind of ran away with this one, but I hope you enjoy!

SYNOPSIS ➢ As summer started to creep into the Glade, the sun’s rays had been hitting you much harder than usual; your hair, especially, have been more of a nuisance. Your solution? Get one of your closest friends to cut it for you. But losing the weight of your hair made you want to get rid of some weight off your chest, as well.

PAIRING ➢ newt x male reader

CONTENT WARNING ➢ friends to lovers, kissing, touching, banter, light insults sexual innuendoes, fluff, slight hurt/comfort, mentions of eating, mentions of drinking, slight violence (a slap), mentions of body, no use of y/n

WORD COUNT ➢ 7.3 k

AUTHORS NOTE ➢ I like to keep any image of the reader’s body out of my writing, but in this he’s implied to be well built, but not explicitly mentioned. The hair may also be more of a non-black standard, since I’m not sure exactly how black hair behaves in this situation, but I tried to keep it as vague as possible. I’m sure there are also a lot of inaccuracies in this concerning the Glade, such as the weather and the sun and the lake, but for the sake of this fic it works like I say it does — I am the author and therefore, God.

The air had gotten warmer recently. You’d noticed it only a few days ago, when your breath hadn’t exhaled in a cloud of white smoke and your neck had started to sweat after a full day of running in the Maze. The weather didn’t exactly respond to how the seasons—that on some level your subconscious knew existed—worked, but it changed all the same. It had only gotten warmer, and quickly, too. With the sun bearing down on from overhead, the air was chokingly warm, your skin practically dripping with sweat and the ends of your hair clinging to your neck. It had grown long during the past few months and while it was a comfort in the colder weather, strands of it now hung uncomfortably in your eyes despite your best attempts to pull it back into a knot.

Minho walked just in front of you through the gates of the Maze and entered the green forestry of the Glade. The walls closed right behind you and in spite of the late hour of the day the sun still shone bright in the sky. He was just as eager to take cover from it under the cool shade of the Glade’s woods as to throw himself into the equally cool lake. You ran up beside him, patting him on the shoulder.

“This weather,” he grunted, wiping the palms of his hands on his trousers. They left tracks of sweat. “I swear it’s got something against us.”

“Yeah,” you agreed with a sigh. You peeled your drenched shirt from your skin, pulling it over your head in an attempt to ease some of the warmth. It didn’t made much of a difference.

Minho threw you a sideway glance as you walked across the green fields. “Eager to show your body off?”

You threw your head back in a bark, sidestepping so you would walk backwards to face him. Your hands spread as your head tilted with conviction.

“You’d want to show off your body too if it looked like this,” you said. Minho couldn’t help but smile at your comment, shaking his head in exasperation. You turned around to walk beside him normally again.

As the two of you made your way to the lake, you passed the gardens and its track-hoes, Newt being one among them. Despite the fact that he was second in command, he liked the calming repetitiveness of caring for vegetables and flowers. He’d told you one late night when you’d found him sitting by himself, staring up at the night sky, and your curiosity had gotten the better of you. Now, his eyes met yours in an instant, as if he’d known exactly where you were. As if he’d been watching you for some while, and waiting for you to notice. Your stomach flipped at his unashamed staring, nervous under the gaze, as your mind drew a blank. Quickly, you rearranged your mouth into a smirk, to which he shook his head out of his stunned stupor and continued with his task, but you could tell his mind wasn’t present as his eyes kept jumping back and forth.

Minho saw your smug smile and hit you across the chest, hard enough to cause you to stumble. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Newt cover his mouth from something that looked like a chuckle and you glared back at Minho’s now-smug smile. He just tilted his head and kept walking to the cover of the trees.

“You can flirt with Newt later,” he said. “Let’s go wash off.”

“I wasn’t flirting with anyone! Let alone Newt.”

“Whatever, man.”

You grumbled something unintelligible, which he ignored, as you walked together to the lake on the other side of the Glade. It was a rather long walk, but the time in the trees’ shade cooled you down nicely. Reaching the lake, the water was darkening with the passing of the sun, seeming almost more ominous now than inviting. You found a few other Gladers there already, some of them laying by the bank with their shirts discarded and the rest of them submerged in the water. Minho wasted no time removing his shirt and running into the dark water. You discarded your earlier thoughts and quickly followed suit, pulling your hair from its knot and jumping into the lake with a splash that earned you an ugly glare from a Glader nearby. Minho shared the glare and slapped the water hard, sending it flying in your direction.

“Shankhead,” he muttered.

You only laughed and leant backwards, fully submerging your body under the dark water. Your muscles relaxed and let the water carry you out further in the lake, effectively cooling you down. This was exactly what you needed after a warm and exhausting day; your head under the water, your hair spread around you like the halo of some angel—if an angel could be trapped in a maze. The cold water felt like a blanket across your mind, quieting your thoughts down to a tenth of their usual volume. There were few things that could calm you like this.

The peace didn’t last long, though, as Minho’s hand suddenly closed over your arm and dragged you above surface.

“What?” you spit at him.

He cocked his head to the end of the lake and when you turned your head you saw Newt’s figure walking closer, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. You immediately tried to stand up, but forgot you were too far out, and instead of touching the sand you sunk deeper in the water with a splutter. Again, you broke the surface with a gasp and a flail of your arms, struggling to wipe your hair out of your eyes. Minho was unsurprisingly unhelpful, barking out his laugh at your unfortunate. You glared at him and swam to the bank where Newt stood waiting. It was only then that you noticed a lot of the other boys were gone or also on their way from the lake.

“Smooth,” Newt commented when you reached him.

“Shut up.”

He nodded his head to the woods behind him. “Dinnertime’s soon. Reckoned I’d go get you.”

“I am honoured your lordship would bother thinking of little ol’ me,” you smiled. He only rolled his eyes.

Your steps brought you up further, the water splashing around your knees. Newt’s arms were crossed over his chest as he leant on one foot, waiting for you to reach him. You noticed that he adamantly kept his eyes fixated on a spot just above your head, refusing to glance at any part of your body that was currently on display. A part of you sparked with amusement. Minho stepped out just behind you and went over to retrieve your clothes, throwing your shirt and boots at you.

“Thanks,” you bit at him, just barely avoiding one hitting your head.

He flashed you with a smug smirk as he pulled his shirt over his head, immediately causing wet spots to bloom wherever it touched his skin directly. “My pleasure,” he said and started walking back to the huts, through the now-dark forest.

The sun had settled quickly and long shadows now stretched before you as you turned to walk into the forest. Newt followed suit, staring at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Not going to put on your shirt?” he asked.

You turned your head to catch Newt’s gaze sweeping across your figure. It filled you with a strange satisfaction to see him checking you out. When he noticed that you’d caught him, he immediately looked away, his posture suddenly stiff. His cheeks were definitely redder than they had been before, although it was difficult to tell in the darkening light. Your lips tugged into something resembling a smile.

“Why? Does it bother you?”

Newt scoffed and met your gaze defiantly underneath his golden fringe. “No. I just don’t want your stupid arse to get sick.”

Your smile widened. “Oh, really? Do you happen to care for me, Newt?”

“I am not admitting that,” he said and rolled his eyes. His tone was suspiciously even, as if it took everything in him not to check you out again. “I’m only saying it’d be be more trouble than you’re worth to get you healthy again.”

His brown eyes met yours, obstructed with a few strands. You had the urge to reach out and pull them away, to see his eyes more clearly, but instead you sent him a simple smile and nudged him lightly with your elbow. “Okay, you have your priorities clear,” you said.

“Just go get ready, won’t you?” His glare was enough to send shivers down your spine and his hands started to turn your body in the direction of the huts, now already having reached the end of the woods. “See what I told you? You’re already getting cold!”

“Fine,” you drawled with your hands up in defence, looking at him over your shoulder. “I’ll see you at the bonfire.”

He lifted his hand in half a wave and swiftly turned away from you, walking to where the others had begun to gather by the fire. Sometimes you forgot he had hurt his leg—it had happened before you arrived in the Glade—but looking at him now his limp was evident in his step. You lingered a moment longer to watch his hair glow in the contrast from the fire, vaguely resembling the sun in an eclipse. You found the view almost poetic, entrancing you in its picturesque aestheticism. It reminded you of Icarus flying too close to the sun, you standing by, helpless to aid him in his downfall, inevitably and irrevocably fated to meet his doom. You weren’t sure where the thought or the name had come from, but ancient knowledge seemed to lord over you in a cloud of mystery.

“Go!” called Newt suddenly over his shoulder. He met your eye with a quirk of his brow and for a second his eyes seemed to draw you into the depths of his soul, but then you blinked and the feeling was gone.

“Going!” you jumped out of your daze to call back and quickly turned to make your way to the huts. How he had known you’d stayed put you didn’t know, but didn’t question further. You rushed to your cot to grab a change of clean clothes and a towel to dry off with, even though most of the water had already dried and cooled your skin with the night’s chill. Still, your hair hung heavy with water, wetting the new shirt you put on. You groaned as you tried to wipe it with the towel, but to no avail. The only downsides to having long hair was it took forever to dry. It would have to warm by the fire.

You changed into the warm pair of trousers and put on your boots. Still, your damp hair felt cold against your skin, which would have been nice if the temperature didn’t drop so suddenly as soon as the sun was gone. You hurried to the fire, the air enveloping you into its warm grasp, eyes already searching for the familiar blonde boy. A lot of the Gladers were milling about, eating the good food Frypan had cooked up or drinking some of the incredibly strong spirit you knew Newt fancied. Someone was laughing loudly nearby but you ignored it in favour of searching for the quiet spot you knew you would find him by. When your eyes settled on him, sitting on a log with a drink in his hand and a plate on his knee, your hand reflexively made its way to pull back your bangs from your eyes. Warmth settled in your stomach that was equally familiar.

“Don’t worry, you look good,” came Minho’s voice beside you. You shot him a glare and removed your fingers from your hair, still itching to pull it away. “Not that your ego needs the boost.”

“Not what I was concerned with,” you said. You swallowed. “But thanks.”

Minho grinned. Your lips lifted into an answering grin and Minho nudged you towards the fire. “Go get ‘em.”

You frowned at him, pretending not to understand what he meant, before shaking your head and walking towards where Newt was sitting. His gaze lifted as you approached and you felt your stomach flipping, not uncomfortably.

“So, he can wear a shirt? Was starting to believe you weren’t capable of it,” said Newt, lowering his drink from his lips.

“Yeah,” you answered with a sheepish grin.

You sat down next to him on the log and reached over to nick a few pieces of his fruit. Newt immediately leant away, lifting the plate away from your reach.

“Woah--oi, hey! Don’t take my food! Get your bloody own from Frypan,” he grumbled, settling you with a glare. You recognised the glint in his eye though, the one that told you he wasn’t entirely serious. His eyes shone in the firelight, softening the longer you stayed quiet, and his lips even started to turn up. At the sight of it, yours did as well. He always knew how to bring out your mischievous side.

“Your food tastes much better.”

“It’s exactly the same.”

You shook your head. “No, by its mere proximity to you, the food is better.”

Newt rolled his eyes and placed his plate back on his knee, where your hand quickly snatched away the remainder of his fruit. He only sighed and took a long sip from his drink, pretending to ignore your staring at him. Finally, he lowered his glass and met your gaze with a sigh.

“What?” asked Newt, tone as flat as he could manage to make it in your presence.

Your lips tugged into a smile. “Nothing,” you said and glanced away.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Newt swiftly turn to you before you felt a nudge against your side, almost pushing you off balance. You cried out and reached towards him to stabilise yourself, sending him the harshest glare you could muster in spite of the laughter that was waiting in your throat. He met it with a glare of his own while ignoring your hands on his arm and shoulder, which suddenly felt too hot to the touch. Blood rushed to your cheeks.

“Nothing,” you repeated, avoiding his gaze. You were forced to let go of him with a clearing of your throat, conscious of your cold hands. You became too aware of your hair brushing your cheek, annoyingly tickling your skin. Before you could move, Newt’s hand had reached out to brush it away. Your breath hitched in your throat and you were unable to rip your eyes away from his.

“Sorry,” he said bashfully and withdrew it, curling it into an uncertain fist.

You smiled. “No, no, it’s okay. It’s getting too long,” you mumbled, your hands moving as if with a mind of their own to fiddle with the longer strands of your hair.

“I could help you, you know?” spoke Newt, drawing your gaze to him. He seemed not to have noticed your flustered state or he chose to ignore it. You hoped it was the former.

You frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

His voice broke as he opened his mouth to speak, but he cleared his throat and nodded to your head.“I could help cut your hair.”

“Really?” you asked, surprise evident in your voice. You supposed cutting weeds while gardening got him familiar around shears.

“I mean, yeah, sure,” said Newt. “Reckon I’d do a better job than anything you’d manage, anyway.”

Your head whipped to the side, mouth open in indignation. “That’s foul!”

His lips tugged into a grin and he lifted an eyebrow with the argument. “Am I wrong?” Your eyes swept over his own hair, which you assumed he’d cut himself, and pursed your lips in contemplation. It looked good. He looked good. Especially in that light, when the fire casted a golden aura that settled around his head like a halo. It effortlessly managed to draw your attention to every shift in his movement.

“No,” you finally grumbled, again tugging at a strand.

His hand reached out to tuck the stray strand of your hair away, and in doing so pushed away your own. The short moment of contact made your breath stutter and come out in a short burst. Newt met your gaze with a smile. It felt different than before, none of his usual amusement visible in his gaze. Instead, there now hung a heavy silence over the both of you, despite the loud chatter and laughter of those who had gathered by the fire. You were so close to him that you could count the lashes on his eyes. His gaze, which usually swirled with the pain and frustration that served as a reminder that Newt was capable of more than he let on, was now void of that. There was only curiosity and something softer that you couldn’t describe to be found. Newt must have felt your breath on his hand by now were it not for you holding it in anticipation. As if suddenly realising it, he blinked and leant away from you, his hand falling down at your side. Your breathing returned to normal as you tried to keep the warmth rushing to your cheeks at bay, trying in vain to ignore how close you two had just been. It was too dark for you to see if he was feeling the same way, or he was just too good at hiding it, but it didn’t keep you from scrutinising his face for any clues.

“Take a sick day tomorrow, meet me by the gardens,” he said after a few minutes of silently staring into the fire. His voice was level, as if he hadn’t been caressing your cheek only moments before.

You tried to match his nonchalance and arched an eyebrow. “Minho will murder me.”

Newt cocked his head. “Let that be on my head.”

“Fine,” you said and stood up with a groan, feeling the stretch of your muscles from the day’s run. Newt followed your movement, meeting your eye as you pointed an accusing finger at him. “On your head, be it.”

Newt nodded, sending a smirk your way. You stepped away from him and made your way to Frypan. As you grabbed a few sandwiches, Gally sneaked up by your side, swiping one of the sandwiches in your hand.

“Got tired of flirting, huh?” he chuckled.

You glared at him and bit into your sandwich. “Shut up.”

He smirked smugly. “It’s plain as day, Greeny.”

“You’re worse than Minho,” you grumbled. Your finger lifted to point in his direction. “And stop calling me that, I haven’t been Greeny for a year.”

His mocking laughter followed you as you walked away from the fire towards the huts, shaking your head. A few Gladers had followed your trail of thought, also deigning to go to bed early. You fell into your sleeping cot with your feet kicked up and a deep sigh escaping your lips. Your mind couldn’t keep from trailing back to the sight of Newt by the fire, his brown eyes shining along with his smug smirk. A groan fought through your throat as you rubbed your eyes in frustration.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like Newt. On the contrary, you liked him a lot. He was kind and funny and witty and smart and always knew how to both make you laugh and trample on your nerves to get you furious with him. But you didn’t fancy him, no matter how much Minho and Gally liked to imply it. He just had a special way to worm his way into your thoughts and then burrow there. For days after an interaction, you would think of how he looked at you a certain way or how he would accidentally touch you while brushing past.

It drove you insane, how easily Newt could get inside your mind.

And how easily he could stir up the warmth inside your stomach and make it rush to your cheeks with only a simple gesture. You had found yourself trying to hide your cheeks when around him too often lately and you were sure he had noticed, but only given you the curtesy of not commenting on it.

“Fuck,” you groaned again and turned over in your cot, your hair prickling your skin with reminder of what tomorrow would bring.

It was difficult to distract your mind from Newt long enough to settle down. Eventually, you managed to fall into a restless sleep, filled with the muddled dreams of red sunlight bouncing off of bluish marble, almost creating the illusion of moving water. You saw the reflection of your form against the stone below you but before you had the chance to take it all in, a hand had clasped your own and another drawn you in by your waist. When you looked up, it was the face of none other than the person you had previously been trying to forget, although you could not fathom why at that moment. Newt. His warm smile calmed you down and you allowed him to lead you into the first steps of a waltz. How you had learnt it you didn’t question, but just followed his captivating eyes and trusted him to catch you if you fell. Those same eyes were gazing into yours, big and brown and with the same curiosity that had gazed on you earlier that day. Only now, you allowed yourself to get lost in the sight of them, to be entranced by their deep swirling darkness. Right when Newt had stretched his arm out and sent you into a light spin, and his hand was ready to welcome you back into his embrace, had his expression changed from one of bliss to one of chock and disgust. You halted, frowning at his actions, before following his line of sight and reaching a hand up to the top of your head. To your horror, all your hair had suddenly vanished. Panic rose through you, clawing blindly at your empty head, wanting to escape from this, from everything, from Newt’s hateful glance. You took a step and tried another but caught the only small imperfection in the marble that caused you to stumble, falling down, down, and down… waiting for the ground to hit you.

What came instead was a slap on your chin, harsh enough to force you awake.

“Ngh— fuck,” you croaked, blinking drowsily. Your vision cleared up as you squinted at your assailant, recognising the judging stare immediately. “Come on, man.”

The sun had barely come up again over the tall walls guarding the Glade when Minho had deigned to make you a visit. That time was usually when you would get ready for your run in the Maze. Apparently, Newt had not said anything to Minho which made you let out a deep groan. Minho was staring down at your messy form, his arms crossed over his chest with a harsh stare pinning you to your place. He cocked his head, raising an eyebrow.

“Anyone tell you you’re an ugly sleeper?” he asked, a sickly sweet smile on his lips.

“No, I’m adorable,” you stated, trying to sit up as best as you could. “I’m taking a day off. I’m sick.” You punctuated your words with the best fake cough you could muster.

Minho looked unconvinced. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” you countered. When he raised an eyebrow you sighed in defeat. “Okay, I’m not sick. But I’m still taking a day off. If you want to argue, take it up with Newt. He’s got senior on you. And we both know you won’t miss me today.”

Minho’s breath released in a sharp burst as he contemplated your words. Finally, he let his arms fall to his side. “Fine,” he said, but raised a finger to point at you. “But you better have a damn good reason as to why you’re staying here today.”

You shot him a smile. “A damn good reason.”

He rolled his eyes and turned to walk away. “I will miss you, by the way,” he called over his shoulder. Then, he added, with a smug smirk, “Sweetheart.”

It was then your turn to roll your eyes as a bark of laughter forced itself out your throat. You rubbed your face from sleep, trying to get rid of your sluggishness. As you were already awake, you figured you could just as well get up to meet Newt a little earlier. It wouldn’t be long until the rest of the Gladers woke up, anyway.

Minho and the rest of the Runners were already by the Maze’s walls. You could see their figures in the distance as the gates started to open with a loud rumble, one that you could feel shaking the earth beneath your feet. You shook your head and stretched your limbs, feeling them pop and crack individually. Minho liked to be up and early with his runs, but you were glad to get a day off to rest. You turned to your things, changing into a clean pair of clothes and put your hair up, mostly out of autonomy. Last time you would do that for a while, you figured.

Newt’s cot was among one of the empty ones, so you assumed he would have already gone to Frypan’s station to get breakfast. You made your way over there, spotting his slumped figure immediately. He jumped when you dropped down beside him, nicking an apple from his plate.

“Could you maybe get your own food for once?” he asked with a cocked eyebrow. You smiled through your amusement, slowly chewing on the fruit. You swallowed with an exaggerated motion, sending him a sickly sweet smile.

“No,” you said. He rolled his eyes while taking a mouthful of his scrambled eggs, ignoring your presence in the process.

“Remind me again why I needed to take the whole day?” you asked. “Hopefully, Minho won’t feel as murder-y when he gets back later as how he felt this morning.”

You saw the corner of his lip lift into what you imagined to be a smile. Smug bastard.

“My art takes time,” he eventually answered, turning to you. “I want it to look good.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I already look good.”

“And I want you to stay that way.” Newt shot a meaningful glance at the other Gladers, which had you wincing. Some of them could benefit from a more skilful haircut, you must admit.

“Fine.”

“Besides,” he said, “it’s easier when the sun is at its highest. Less chance for me to fuck it up then.”

Newt smiled at you, but his words indicated an underlying threat, one that had you smiling back in amusement. He really loved pushing your buttons. It didn’t help that you actually were concerned about your hair being fucked up—not that you would consider yourself a vain person, but you knew how much someone’s looks could be diminished because of a bad haircut. And your thoughts ran to the dream you’d had; was it a nightmare or a premonition?

You scratched your neck, conscious of the hair touching your skin. “You know what? I’m actually not so certain about this.”

Newt sighed and pinned his gaze on you. “I see you swatting your hair away all the time,” he said, exasperation shining through annoyance. “It’s clearly annoying you.”

His words made something in you flip. “Are you saying that you notice me all the time, then?” you asked with a smug smile, unable to keep your amusement at bay for long.

He ignored your question. “I’m not going to fuck it up, mate.” When you sent him a sceptical glare he sighed again, and asked, “What are you so afraid of? Don’t you trust my skills?”

Your lips tugged in earnest for a moment, before again settling into their smug familiarity. “I guess I’m just scared you’ll find me less attractive if I cut my hair.” You blinked through your eyelashes, meeting Newt’s incredulous gaze. “I mean, what if the whole reason you like me is because of my handsome hair?”

“That’s ridiculous,” he scoffed, turning to look down at his plate.

“So you admit you do find me attractive?” you chuckled.

“Never said that.”

Your lips pressed into a line, wondering if you had crossed the line that time. It took a moment to decide before opening your mouth again. “Will you still help me?”

“Of course,” he smiled at you, winking playfully. The gesture made butterflies immediately appear in your stomach and you had to look away lest he see the smile gracing your lips. He stood up from his seat, leaving the rest of his breakfast untouched, and nudged your side. “C’mon, let’s get going.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. Or would you rather we wait until I get tired and the light is bad for me to slip with my shears?”

He had a point, damn him. “Fine,” you admitted, following suit and going outside with him. The sun blinded the both of you, already high in the sky. It felt strange for it to be this bright out and not being in the maze running.

Newt started walking toward the garden so you followed point, close at his heel. He picked up a pair of dirty looking shears, turning to flash you a grin. You looked at them skeptically, which he must have noticed.

“Look, they’ll get the job done, alright?”

Your eyebrow cocked. “You sure? Looks like they haven’t worked since ten years ago.”

Newt laughed dryly and nudged past you, walking the way to the woods.

“Hey, where are you going?” you asked.

“The lake. Need to get your hair wet,” he called over his shoulder.

Hmm. Sounded reasonable. You ran to keep up with him and joined him by the lake you had been swimming in the day before. The water looked even more inviting now, with the sun glittering across its surface instead of the afternoon’s deep shadows. Newt, none too gently, shoved you in the direction of it, sitting himself down by the bank.

You flashed a smile to him. “That eager to see me shirtless again?”

He rolled his eyes and reached for the water to splash it up at you. You yelped and jumped out of reach, giving him a stare full of contempt. “Just dump your ‘ead in the water, you knob.”

“Since you asked so kindly.”

You lowered your body closer to the bank, only letting your head submerge under the water. It felt cold, but not uncomfortably so. You felt a tap against your shoulder, Newt, and sprang up into sitting position. Water dripped from your hair, drenching your shirt and face. When you turned to Newt, your smile was crooked.

“Great,” he said, moving to sit behind you, shears in his hands. “Now all you have to do is keep still. Think you can do that?”

“Anything for you, Newt.”

You sighed happily and leant back, letting the sun cast its warm rays over you. You didn’t notice the moment Newt hesitated after your words, before he started drawing his fingers through your hair. All you knew was that suddenly his touch was there and it felt heavenly. You knew he only did it to measure your hair to cut it, but every time his fingers brushed against your scalp shivers erupted across your spine. You almost had the mind to close your eyes and fall asleep right then and there, with Newt almost caressing you. You imagined those same fingers running down from your head, touching the skin over your neck, brushing past your abdomen and squeezing your thighs. Even the thought of it made your breath hitch and you kept still to keep him from noticing anything amiss. Slowly and carefully, he worked, cutting methodically. You cracked an eye open, trying to glance at him from the corner of it.

“How’s it going, Newt?” you asked.

He grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled lightly, and said, “Don’t rush me.”

It was enough to make warmth travel to your cheeks and your abdomen, so you kept quiet after that and let him do his work in peace. His fingers danced closer to your skin then, trying to get to the nape of your neck and it took all your willpower not to shy away from him. Slowly, you relaxed into his hold again, numbed by the featherlight touches and breaths of air fanning over your skin when he sat too close.

And suddenly, it was all over. With one final brush of his hand, his fingers running through your hair thoroughly, he cleared his throat and moved away.

“All done,” said Newt, though it was almost a whisper.

You opened your eyes to the sight of him sitting on his folded knees and his fingers fidgeting with the shears, looking almost as if it took all his power to concentrate on his breathing. You smiled, raising an eyebrow, and ran your own hand through your hair. It felt lighter, and smooth, and you hadn’t realised how much of a relief it was to be gone with the length.

“How do I look?” you asked, meeting his eye.

“Good.”

“Better than before?”

Newt shrugged and stood up. “Good, like always.”

Your lips quirked into a mischievous smile. “You think I’m good looking?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he scoffed, but you could definitely see a redness spreading across his cheeks. He tried to turn away but you were quicker, bounding closer to him and shaking away the cutaway strands in the same movement. It was fun teasing him.

“You’re the one who said it!” you exclaimed.

“Oi, stop being difficult,” he settled his glare on you.

“I’m not.”

He shot you a look, one that told you he was trying to stay annoyed but secretly enjoying your antics. “You are,” he said while turning in the way to the rest of the Glade, shears hanging loosely from his grip.

You ripped your gaze from his long fingers, the image of them making your mind return to how you had wanted him to touch you earlier, and instead ran to keep up with his steps. You could sense the smile hiding in the corner of his lip, almost like a sixth sense, determined to bring it out. So, eyebrows lifted in a suggestive expression, you saddled closer to his side and said, “But you like a challenge, right—so why are you complaining?”

The gaze Newt responded with could only be described as filled with disbelief, and something else—something mischievous. “So now you’re a challenge, hm?” he asked, his eyebrows disappearing behind the ruffles of his hair.

You frowned and tilted your head at him. “Hey! Are you calling me easy?”

“Well, if the haircut fits…” he trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence up to your active imagination.

“Now that’s just plain rude,” you muttered, lowering your gaze to the ground to avoid any missteps in the uncertain terrain of the Glade’s woods.

“I’m so very sorry, mate,” said Newt, without much conviction. You rolled your eyes at his sarcastic tone and noticed the flashing smile that was then all too visible on his face. “How can I make it up to you?”

“You can start by not calling me ‘mate’,” you retorted, not thinking through your words except to win this ‘argument’.

Newt glanced at you. “And what would you rather me call you?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, avoiding his gaze, while all too aware of what he was trying to get you to admit. But you were comfortable with the dance you and him were engaged in. It had been going on for so long that you had forgotten how to not do it with him. It was easier to keep dancing with him, to keep the illusion of a ballroom couple perfect rather than to quiet the orchestra and run from your Prince Charming. Newt seemed to sense where your thoughts had run to, as he tried to meet your gaze.

“You sure about that?” he asked sceptically.

“Er, yeah?”

Newt was way too good at reading you and would not believe any excuses you tried to make, however convincing they may be. You both despised and admired him for it. He stopped you in your tracks with a hand across your midriff; the feel of his fingers pressing against your skin, even through the shirt, made shivers travel down your spine. The hand quickly retreated as he tried searching your eyes.

“I—,” he started, voice unsteady. He cleared his throat to regain his composure as you waited for him, arms crossed, trying to keep up the charade any way you could. “I think you’d rather me call you ‘good looking’. Or ‘handsome’. Or ‘pretty’. Or what about ‘love’, hm?”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes, trying to ignore the warmth traveling up your neck to rush to your cheeks. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t,” he said, an eyebrow raised from the very obvious tremor in your voice.

“Are you teasing me, Newt?” you asked incredulously.

Newt flashed you a smug smile and shrugged, looking away bashfully. “Got to be my turn to do it sometime,” he said.

You were used to you teasing him and poking fun, but he always took it in stride and seldom flirted back—which was what this had somehow turned into. If you’d known you two would end up flirting because of him cutting your hair you never would have agreed to his help—or maybe you still would have. Either way, there was no escaping it now. Fuck it, you thought. A frustrated groan seethed through your pressed lips as you threw your hands up in exasperation.

“You know what? Fine,” you said, meeting Newt’s gaze defiantly. “Yes, I’d like to be called all of those things. And I would like to call you all of those things.” You paused to then search Newt’s gaze, but he just stared at you in stunned silence and made no attempt to answer, so you kept going, albeit slightly more hesitant. “I—I want to hold you, to touch you, embrace you in the way that simple friends shouldn’t do. I’d like to whisper into your ear at night how much you brighten my days and make this shucking life worth living. Most of all, I would like to call you mine.”

You paused again to inhale deeply, your breathing shallow after your rant. It had driven your emotions to the surface so well you might as well have been wearing your feelings on your sleeve, ready to hand out romantic professions for anyone bothering to glance your way.

You hadn’t noticed how warm your cheeks had suddenly gotten, and made to move away while muttering, “There—I’ve said it. Let’s just go.”

“Wait—no—” Newt shouted, throwing out his arm to grab your wrist.

He pulled you back into him, making you lose balance, and a moment later his lips had closed over yours. The surprised gasp that had escaped your lips was quieted by his kiss and you quickly melted into his embrace. Immediately, his fingers closed over your nape, taking hold of your now-short hair and drawing you even closer. You could feel him pressing himself closer in whatever way he could manage, one hand tugging at your hair and the other clawing at your waist. Each individual touch sent sparks of warmth and cold over your skin as your hands closed over his jaw and throat. Even your imagination couldn’t have predicted how he would feel, how his body would fit against yours and make you want to never breathe again if it meant you could stay with him, like this, forever.

Finally, you had to pull away to suck in a deep breath of air, Newt trailing after and barely letting you go. You couldn’t fight the chuckle that forced its way out nor the grin that spread over your lips. Neither could he, as you saw his blushing face break out in a beam and his eyes jumping all over your face. It made you painfully aware of yourself and you bowed your head to settle against the crook of his neck, bashful in spite of your close contact. His hands were still holding onto your waist and kept your body pressed against him.

“Don’t get shy now,” he chided, though his tone was light and his fingers were rubbing slow circles across your back.

Despite the warm sun that glared over the pair of you, his gesture made a shiver crawl up your spine and you pulled away to look at him with an arched eyebrow. “Really, you’re calling me shy?” He nodded to your question. “I’m shy when you’re here— Have you completely forgotten who’s always bold and teases and openly flirts with you?”

Newt scoffed, drawing his hands over the small of your back. “Well, maybe I stole your boldness when I kissed you.”

You almost couldn’t believe him. His cheeks were already flushed, but burned even brighter when your hand pressed against his neck to pull him in again, forcefully pressing your lips against his and claiming his tongue as yours. In doing so, you swallowed his surprised gasp with your kiss, but he didn’t manage to suppress the moan when you took his bottom lip between your teeth and bit lightly. It made you smile smugly, pulling away immediately to look upon his bright red face and dazed expression.

“Who’s shy now, hm?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest and stepping out of his hold.

Newt shot you an angry glance, but it was difficult to take him seriously when he was also blushing furiously. He decided to leave it at that and with not much dignity, pick up the shears he had dropped and started walking back towards the huts. Again, you had to run after him with laughter playing on your lips. You could tell he wasn’t really annoyed, but it was easy to slip back in the comfortable dance of your relationship.

You wouldn’t let him pretend like all of this had not happened, though. He looked at you in surprise when your hand sought out his own, fingers intertwining and closing over his. You smiled back, feeling a slight burning at the tip of your ears, but he leant in and placed a light kiss that made you wish for more again, which eased your nervousness.

“Guess we’re both a little shy, huh,” he remarked. You just shrugged, looking ahead to the opening of the forest, but the smile still apparent on your lips.

“And where the fuck have you two been?” cried Alby’s voice as soon as you stepped out of the trees.

Immediately, you felt as if you jumped out of your skin and let go of Newt’s hand, his cheeks burning as much as yours did. You scratched the back of your neck and glanced sheepishly at Newt, catching the mischievous glint in his eyes; neither of you could fight the smiles that broke out on both your faces.

“On your head be it, you said,” you smirked, slipping away from his indignant eyebrow raise.

You left Newt to deal with Alby alone with a playful wink, to which he only shook his head and hid his smile as he faced the approaching commander. You had half a mind to skip away with the happiness that were bubbling through you, but managed to contain yourself to walking away with a steady pace, though you couldn’t keep your thoughts from running back to the memory of Newt against you nor the smile that followed.

END NOTE ➢ I do have an idea for a part two should anyone be interested in it. Hope you enjoyed this!

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firstdivisiongirl · 1 month

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Mitsuya x Fem Reader: Trust in Some

@yv1-chxn asked: CAN YOU MAKE A MITSUYA X FEM READER THAT HAS ISSUES? LIKE, ANGER ISSUES, TRUST ISSUES OR JEALOUSY ISSUES AND THERE'S MITSUYA WHO IS REALLY UNDERSTANDING PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU. Hi! Thank you so much for the requests. You are actually my first requests on here. Mitsuya is one of my favorites so I’m happy to do it. I decided to do trust issues. Hope you enjoy!!!

You had a hard time trusting people. It all started when you were a kid and your dad went to work and never came home. And it only got worse when your last boyfriend cheated on you with your best friend. When you and Mitsuya started dating, you thought you’d get over all of these trust issues. Mitsuya was an amazing guy. He made you feel like the only girl in the world. Yet here you were, sneaking around with Hakkai. “I told you he’s not cheating on you,” he said exhausted, “he doesn’t have a secret girlfriend. Now let’s go.”

“No,” you exclaimed and whispered, “I don’t believe you!”

“Trust me. All he talks about is you all the time. I could write your biography.”

You took your attention away from your conversation, just to see exactly what you hoped not to see. A girl walked up to him. She had a short blush pink haircut with bangs. She was really cute, of course he’d cheat on me with her you thought.

You ran out from your hiding spot, snout and tears running down your face. “Mitsuya,” you cried, “I should have known you’d cheat on me.”

“Sweetheart. This is Hina” he said, gesturing to the girl next to him who gave a friendly smile.

Your head was spinning. You felt so dumb. He loved her and you’d never be good enough for him. Just like how you weren’t good enough for your dad or ex boyfriend. The tears came out harder. You ran away, afraid that Mitsuya would break up with you.

After running for a while, you ended up in the park. You sat down on the plush grass. You looked out at all the happy people, wishing you were them right now.

“You okay?” he asked, sitting down next to you.

“No,” you answered, too ashamed to look at him.

“Hina is just a friend. I don’t even find her attractive. The only reason she came with me was because I needed help with something.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“I’ve been so indecisive about an anniversary gift for you. I needed her help, so she said she’d help. Come on, let’s go to my place. You can play with Luna and Mana, while I finish it. Then I’ll show you.”

You went home with him feeling a little better. You played with Luna and Mana while Mitsuya was busy working on your gift in his room. After about an hour, he came out, holding something.

“Happy Anniversary Y/N! I know I'm technically a few days early, but I felt bad for making you think I didn’t love you. So, here it is,” he said, handing you a denim jacket with lots of different patches, “I knew you loved this jacket and I felt bad it was falling apart, so I fixed and customized it so you never have to get rid of it.”

You looked at your jacket, it had all these patches in lavender and gray patterns where the holes used to be. But you noticed the left pocket had embroidery on it. It was a gray outlined heart with his initials and yours inside it in lavender thread. “You embroidered it with our initials?” you asked, staring at it.

“Yeah, that’s why I asked Hina to come with me. I didn’t know what color to use. I asked Luna and Mana, but they both said hot pink, but you don’t like pink. Hina suggested I use both, hence the gray heart and lavender writing.”

You kissed him passionately as a thank you for the gift. After a few seconds you broke apart, resting your foreheads against each other’s. “Thank you,” you said with tears welling in your eyes, “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I’m sorry I’m like this.”

“Don’t apologize. I understand. I’d never ask you to change because I love you for you.” He kissed you passionately again. It might still be hard for you to fully trust people, but this moment showed you that maybe some people you could fully trust. And Mitsuya was definitely one of them.

Please do not copy, modify, translate or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated!

#First division girl #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev x you #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo manji gang #tokyo manji revengers #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya x reader #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya x you #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya fluff #takashi mitsuya x reader

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adoremexxs · 9 months

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Modern Hantengu Clone Headcanons

I’m procrastinating writing and I have SO many headcanons of these clones so I’m just going to share them. See if you can spot my favorite.

Sekido

Oh boy

I love him so much

He’s definitely the oldest of the “brothers” and I think everyone has honestly agreed with this

He’s 6’4

So, for facial features

I think Sekido has very sharp features

His jawline is as sharp as a knife

I think that his nose is more narrow and straight than his brothers

He has a mole under his right eye and a mole by his lips on the left side of his face

Perfect teeth

Takes great pride in his appearance because “first impressions matter” so he always dresses up when meeting someone important

sensitive skin, has to use expensive skin care brands and it makes him mad

Chest hair.

He doesn’t have a lot but he gets it waxed or if he doesn’t have time for a wax, he shaves it

Hates, hates smelling bad

If someone smells like B.O., he is offering deodorant to them

no shame at all

Keeps everything short besides his hair on his head

He considered cutting it once

Zohakuten’s haircut almost convinced him

He loves his beautiful locks though

He definitely is good at math and is majoring for business

If not business, he would become a politician

He likes cracking open a white claw and watching debates on the TV

In high school, he was on the debate team and in honors

He played football and did archery for his last two years

He also played soccer

Karaku and Urogi piss him off so much so he regularly goes to rage rooms

He smokes weed to calm down

Karaku introduced him to it

He goes to the gym regularly

He has an absolute dumptruck

Like it’s a level 3 gyatt

And huge thighs

He does not skip leg day

Meal preps

Can cook a 5 star meal

This makes Karaku and Urogi go over to his place to eat more than they should

He has a soft spot for cats

And Aizetsu

Aizetsu is his favorite sibling because he listens

Him and Karaku don’t get along because Karaku used to bring home slutty women and men and they would trash their house

Listens to rock

Def loves Three Days Grace and Slipknot

Doesn’t mind Odetari

Karaku made him listen

He loves GMFU by Odetari

Goes to cat cafes whenever stressed sometimes

He struggles with making friends, this showed in high school

He struggled a lot in making friends but Urogi and Karaku were extremely popular so they took him to events

Struggles with love life too

He’s so intimidating looking that he scared off most suitors

He’s just really shy and hoping to be loved

But at the same time, hates the idea of relationships

He doesn’t like being vulnerable

He just wants to be loved and not get hurt in the end

Wants 2-3 kids

Wants a daughter so he can spoil her

If he had a S/O, they would definitely get spoiled with gifts

Just please don’t break his heart

Karaku

Karaku, Karaku.

The second oldest

Also is 6’4

His facial features are a bit more feminine, his jawline is still sharp but his eyes are a bit softer

His nose is also perkier

LOVES spoiling himself

Invests in expensive hair products and skincare products

Has a morning and night routine

He also has little moles all over his body

Karaku’s face has 2 by his left eye and a 3 on his neck and one by his right ear

Gets a facial once a month

Absolutely no body hair anywhere

Besides legs and armpits

Had braces in high school and had to wear a retainer

Complained so much that Sekido whooped him

He likes taking care of his appearance but not the same way Sekido does

“It’s for the ladies and the men that want me!”

He models

Has been modeling since he was 17

Loves the attention he gets and the fans he has

Tried to convince the others to model too

It didn’t work

He takes amazing care of his body and works out with Sekido on the regular

Makes a competition on who can bench the most or squat the most

Spoiler, it’s Sekido

He played football in High School for his first two years

He partied a lot

And I mean a lot

Even hosted some

Sekido wasn’t happy

Him and Sekido have gotten into multiple fist fights and one time Karaku accidentally got so mad that he smashed a vodka bottle over Sekido’s head

Sekido had to go to the hospital after beating Karaku’s ass

Is in a lot of clubs and he honestly just shows up randomly to them

Listens to Odetari

“Look, don’t touch” is his anthem and as well as “Let me see ya move” by Lumi Athena

Loves Odetari and The Weeknd

Listens to Usher and Jacquees, literally any rapper known to man

He still partied and drinks a lot

It’s insane

If he spoils himself, he is spoiling his S/O with everything and as well as physical affection

They are his pfp on everything

Posts them regularly

He used to be a serial man whore and cheater

But they broke him out of it

Wants 3 kids

His favorite brother is Urogi

Aizetsu

Our precious boy, Aizetsu

6’3 and shy

He’s like a gentle giant

His nose is perky like Karaku’s and he has some freckles on his face

He doesn’t have that many moles

In fact

His skin is perfect

He has no moles on him

Aizetsu’s skin has a flare up during the summer sometimes and breaks out in the winter

So he has special skin care products

Karaku and Urogi tried to set Aizetsu up on many blind dates

Dated a popular cheerleader girl

She wanted to get with Karaku and Sekido

He was sad for days

Him and Urogi got matching hair cuts, they have short hair with their bangs in front

Doesn’t know how to take care of his hair

Karaku spoiled him for a month one time and bought him a facial, mani, pedi and took him to get his hair done

Aizetsu wears sweaters half the time

He has some muscle to him but his body is more lean and he gets bruised a lot

He has an lil dumpy too though

It’s all natural, baby

Sekido would worry about him all the time because Aizetsu doesn’t eat a lot

He cooks for his brothers sometimes and that’s it

Once Sekido yelled at him for not eating enough, he ate a bit more

Listens to Indie music, loves Steve Lacy and Faye Webster

Cries to “I know you” by Faye Webster

Me too tho king

Anyways

In high school, he played soccer and he was in the reading club

Like Sekido, he is an introvert

He struggles with making friends

His toxic high school girlfriend crushed his self esteem

Everyone used him to get to his brothers

So he is often excluded

He is also the middle child and the quietest out of all of them

Majoring in psychology

He suffers from depression

He doesn’t break down in front of his brothers

He cries late at night or in the shower

His S/O would have to be able to help him with his depression

Just give him physical affection and reassure him that you aren’t going to leave him

He wants 1-2 kids

He can’t handle dealing with his brothers all over again

Urogi

Urogiiiii

Youngest of the quadruplets

His nose is wider and perkier than the others and he has a mole by his left brow, left side of his face is a mole by his lips and then one of the other side of his lips

His body has them as well

Now he is jacked

He works out every day

He also is just insanely strong already

Loves, loves bird

He’s studying to be a veterinarian

He stands at 6’5, the tallest of the brothers

His birthday is actually a day later

He also almost died before he was born because his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck

Party kid

He parties so much

Adrenaline junkie

“Life is too fun to be sitting on your butt and crying, Aizetsu!”

Loves, loves the zoo

He doesn’t know much about appearances

He doesn’t know how to take care of his hair

His teeth are absolutely perfect

His skin is somehow clear although he didn’t use anything

He uses St. Ives face wash

His skin never breaks out or flares up

Always had perfect skin

He doesn’t have chest hair but has a lot and I mean a lot of leg hair

He can’t cook

That’s why he goes over to Sekido’s

Him and Karaku are insanely close because they are alike

He did wrestling and soccer in highschool and still continues it in his college days

He did cut his hair

The long hair got in the way of wrestling so he cut it

It’s really wavy and his bangs are parted in the middle

He rarely ever ever gets mad

He’s really protective over Aizetsu, despite him being younger

gives his brothers bird facts all the time

Compares them to birds

Sekido is a cardinal and Aizetsu a blue jay

Karaku is a peacock and Urogi compares himself to a falcon

Has a lot of followers on tiktok and instagram because he posts bird videos and animal videos in general

The followers love them

has always been a ladies man

All the girls love him

It’s the charming personality of his and how sweet he is with animals

is supposed to be Karaku’s and Aizetsu’s wingman

He never talks bad about anyone unless they wronged his brothers

100% listens to Odetari with Karaku but mainly listens to hyper pop and rap and kpop

He loves his family a lot and is a big family oriented person

His S/O would have a lot of fun with him

He goes clubbing a lot but he won’t go without them

Its more fun with them there

He would also take them to work to show them his job

He books vacations to Africa to go on safaris

He’s a very fun and lovable partner

He wants 4 kids, he is praying quadruplets like him and his brothers

Zohakuten

Zohakuten is the youngest of the brothers obviously

He is 16

He’s 5’3, the shortest of them all

He’s intimidating to others and also really shy and reserved so no one really talks to him

Besides his bestie, Rui

Zohakuten is in band

He plays the drums

Has a drum set at home

Him and Rui are extremely close due to the fact that no one else likes to talk to him because he’s scary

Zohakuten is really into art too and draws on the regularly

Is known as the “Quiet Scary Kid”

He cut his hair short so he has his hair like Urogi’s and Aizetsu’s

His bangs parted in the middle and the rest of it being messy because he can’t take care of his hair either

Spends a lot of time drawing and drumming

He gets into fights regularly at school and it’s a surprise that he isn’t kicked out of band yet

He also plays soccer and it absolutely works in his favor because he scares people

He sometimes has brotherly bonding time with his brothers and go to the gym with them

He’s incredibly strong and it makes Karaku jealous because he had noodle arms when he was younger

Listens to Indie, Odetari, Hyperpop, Metal and basically everything

Depends on his mood

When he’s mad, he is blasting Metal

Has to use dermatologist products for his face

His favorite brothers are Sekido and Aizetsu

He sometimes plays minecraft and roblox with Urogi and Karaku

Karaku and Urogi sneak him into frat parties when they are not supposed to

He wears feathered purple earrings

He also wears a gold chain, he wears gold rings too

He loves gold

Like Urogi, his nose is wider and perky

It’s a bit more upturned than his brothers

Karaku has tried to wax Zohakuten’s eyebrows

Karaku got his ass beat

Karaku and Urogi come up with nicknames for Zohakuten

“Zo, Z, Zozo, Zoha, Zohaku, Haku, Ten, Zobo-“

“Shut the fuck up, you imbeciles.”

Rui is with him 95% of the time

He takes him everywhere because it’s basically his only friend

On Christmas, Karaku and Urogi got Zohakuten to dress up as an elf by promising to buy him a new dragon figure

Hates dating

Hates those cheesy couples in school that kiss each other in the hallways and basically have sex

Him and Senjuro lowkey hate each other

But that’s between them and stays between them because Senjuro is also Rui’s friend

#demon slayer #urogi #aizetsu #sekido #karaku #demon slayer karaku #demon slayer sekido #demon slayer aizetsu #demon slayer urogi #hantengu clones #hantengu #demon slayer headcanons #urogi headcanons #kny sekido #kny rui #kny zohakuten #zohakuten #demon slayer fandom

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trips2saturn · 26 days

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didn’t do last week’s but here it is: TOWL EPISODE 5 SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️‍🔥

ANOTHER LEGENDARY EPISODE FOR THE TWD HISTORY BOOKS. can we get a round of applause please? 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 yes. great. perfect.

you already know what i’m about to scream about. THE RICHONNE PROPOSAL™️ HELLODHSJDHSKBDJSHSHSSBSBSJEISNS DID I NOT PREDICT IT YES OR NO. YES I DID!!!!! THE RING 😭😭😭 HIS SPEECH 😭😭😭 HIM GETTING ON ONE KNEE AND THEN SHE GETS ON HER KNEES TOO?!?1?2!$:)!/!:/& HER RESPONSE TOO?! SEDATE ME THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED. imagine thinking we haven’t won the damn lottery with this ship it’s neverrrr over for us i love them i love them so much they’re going home next episode, and we’re going to see the ring on her finger WATCH THIS SPACE ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹🥺😁

not even five minutes into the episode and i was being ambushed with both admiration and TORTUROUS PAIN. the cute little callback to 7x12 of them just being on the road, scavenging, surviving, and loving on each other was sooooo cute. rick kissing the back of mich’s hand. DOES THIS SHOW WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING VERY CATASTROPHIC BC I WILL.

BOOM. immediate anguish right after their cutie scene because what does rick do? OH RIGHT HE PULLS OUT THE PHONE OF CARL’S DRAWING AND STARES AT IT SOLEMNLY. CATASTROPHIC THOUGHTS ARE FORMING EXPONENTIALLY LITTLE TUMBLR PEOLLE 😭😭😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹😔😔😔😔 i can’t do this anymore no more please. i cried so hard last episode i’m tired brother

that brief scene of rick wanting to bring a gift home for rj. that’s his baby. michonne saying that he’s the brave man, and that just him coming home to them was enough. i need like three days to process this episode it was SOOOOO SOFT

“tasteful noods?” they’re idiots but they’re my idiots. i am also an idiot because just before she said that, i paused the show and read the truck and laughed out loud at the brand. i swear we’re so tethered. michonne and trips, sisters in another universe <3

im not going to sugarcoat anything. idgaf about jadis’s death. in fact, i am celebrating!!!!! will byers is NO MÁS good damn riddance.

ALSO HELLO GABRIEL? i was quite comforted to see a member of the group. those random meetups with haircut were interesting to say the least, especially the kiss because ummm was he not still dating rosita? idk idc i can’t keep up with the timelines anymore it’s not that serious unless it’s rick and michonne

also thank you GABRIEL for the wedding ring, and thanks jadis for giving it to rick. haircut was good for something in the end i guess. doesn’t matter what her ending was, i didn’t feel any reconciliation or compassion. she’s still a piece of shit who stole a great portion of rick’s life from himself and his entire family. burn in the hottest depths of hell. xo!

WAS THAT A PAINTING OF GLENN IN JADIS’S FLASHBACK? IF SO HOW AND WHY IM GENUINELY CONFUSED SOMEONE PLEASE REPLY OR DM ME ASAP

the callback to 6x10?!?!?? spearmint and baking soda?!?! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MY SONS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!???????? danai and andy took the little richonne file in my brain and STUDIED it to make sure that they filmed every scene that i’ve ever wanted to happen to them. no source just trust me they did it

RICK GIVING MICH A BRAND NEW “M” NECKLACE OHHHHH 😔😔🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 THEYRE SO LOVEBUG. LIKE WOAH OKAY TROY AND GABRIELLA 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭❤️‍🩹 she deserves it so much! and then their kiss inside of the cabin afterwards, and them falling back onto the bed urgsjdvajdbabbs cutie pies!!!!!!!!!!!

every jadis scene pissed me off, so I won’t go into detail too much. you guys know how much i hate her. anyway, michonne using the axe to slice jadis like a cold cut… mother. love her. ALSO her rage when speaking about haircut too, yeah that was the perfect amount of dialogue that i wanted to see from her. her stealing rick’s time of seeing rj’s birth, first steps, etc. UGH. so excellent, you could feel her burning anger in her voice.

all of these callbacks throughout the episode but the best, most important and evident one was the mere fact that they’re a team again. kicking ass, and simply leading each other because that’s what they’re the best at. before any of their romance began, they were trusted confidants who worked so well side by side, and in this episode we got to see and feel the satisfaction and elation of having that back again!!!!!

i felt like i was at a drive thru restaurant ordering the entire episode. can i get some flirting, with a side of ass kicking, and ummm let me get a side of poetic, confessional yearning from rick grimes. yeah, that’ll be all.

rick telling gabriel that he wanted to marry michonne on the bridge. 🥺……. 😡 AND THEN EVERYTHING GOES TO SHIT AFTERWARDS. IMAGINE THE WORLD IF JADIS NEVER KIDNAPPED HIM. THEY WOULD HAVE FOUND HIM EVENTUALLY LIKE HE WAS RIGHT UP THE STREET?? oof — i cannot. we waited so long to hear this admirable dialogue but at what cost. it’s so sad, but at least we’re here now as michonne would say!!!!!

okay. ❤️‍🩹 there’s still so much to unpack but that’s enough out of me for the moment. brain’s still scrambled eggs. last but not least, michonne grimes is the hottest character ever. THE BOXERS?! she looked fucking amazing in every single outfit. if i were rick, i’d be kissing every inch of her neck too HELLO

don’t forget to stream the ones who live episode FIVE 5️⃣ on amc+ and don’t forget to watch it tonight on amc’s channel at 9pm!!!! ❤️‍🔥 so stoked for episode 6. it’s going to be the best one ever. it’s so hard to rank them at this point and i don’t want to either. every episode is better than the last! REAL TELEVISION IS BACK. 🫶🏼❤️‍🔥

#trips talks #the ones who live #the walking dead #richonne #towl spoilers #rick grimes #michonne grimes

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zzoguri · 8 months

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[part three] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), slice of life, so much platonic love in general, suggestive themes, expect a lot of sentimental talks and bantering between changmin and reader, a lot of publication talk (a lot heavier for this chapter but i swear it plays a big role!! sorry i am a writer), light angst on jacob's end (i'm sorry baby), kind of shit opinion piece though (i literally don't know how to write that shit i'm sorry for the writers who read this and are knowledgeable about it!!) kissing and poetic words both from reader and changmin, very minimal chanhee x hyunjae x younghoon, a lot of tearjerker moments

word count ➵ 26k words

parts ➵ check out the series masterlist

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe @sweet-unicorn-world @mosviqu @vernyangel

a/n ➵ oh i can't believe i finally finished this :') i'm very sad that i have concluded the journey of reader, changmin, chanhee, sunwoo, kevin, and jacob. this story feels more like a commemoration of friendships under the guise of a romance-centric one, if i'm going to be honest. and i'm glad i took my time crafting a universe that shows just how strong and beautiful friendships are overall. i hope that this fic brought you as much comfort as i did writing it </3 you can check my full author’s note here. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! main masterlist

When the morning comes, every part of you is ridden with anxiety. Not a wink of sleep was gotten as your mind kept drifting everywhere. How can you like your best friend? This is Changmin; the one who intimidated you at the first meeting; the one who likes to make fun of you and your stupid decisions. This is the same boy who you saw in that god-forbidden shaggy haircut back in high school.

And how did it take five years for you to figure that out? Have you just always liked him? That would be impossible, right? And are you even sure you like him like that? Is this not another case of you mistaking platonic love for a romantic one?

Your eyes look at the clock that sits on the bedside table, showing that it is 9:24 AM. With a sigh, you look up to the ceiling with a rattled brain. Clouds of thoughts kept appearing even in your exhausted state. What does it mean to like your best friend? Is this not a threat to the friendship you have spent building over the years?

And yet, when the image of Changmin comes into your mind, you almost want to scream. Even the thought of him makes you want to vomit your guts out. Your best friend is just an average-looking guy. How can you like him after liking Jacob? God, do you not like the senior anymore?

Before you can entertain such thoughts, you hear someone knock on the door. You quickly sit up and rub your eyes before getting off the bed. In hopes you have gotten rid of any possible sign of exhaustion, you open the door expecting to be met with one of Changmin’s sisters or his mom. But when your eyes land on the boy who has occupied every corner of your mind, your eyes widen in shock.

There he stood—fluffy hair and the same white shirt and navy shorts that you saw him in last night. His face was somewhat puffy from the sleep, but you could notice that his eyes were still droopy. And you fully expect yourself to snap back to reality—remember that he is just an average guy who happens to be your best friend. But god, the sight of him makes you realize that he is nothing like that. This particular view of him is almost too domestic, one that makes you imagine what it would be like to fall asleep and wake up in his embrace. And oh god, he is so absolutely fucked for showing up at your door like this.

At the sight of your shocked expression, Changmin cannot help but furrow his eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you choke out quickly as your expression starts to ease back to some normalcy. “W–what’s up?”

With narrow eyes, he says, “Uh, I just wanted to make sure you were awake. We’ll leave after lunch to catch the 2 PM train back.” As soon as you shoot him nothing but a nod, he looks you up and down. “... Okay, I’ll see you in the living room.” After giving him another nod, you quickly shut the door. You let your forehead rest on the door.

When it comes to having a crush, it is nothing but an easy ride, almost like breaking into a new pair of shoes. But liking your best friend? It is only a slippery slope, one that has you falling into the unexpected—the question is if you will come out with linked arms or a bruised heart.

“Y/N-ah, I don’t want you to leave on New Year’s,” Changmin’s mom says with her arms wrapped around you. As your chin rests on her shoulder, your eyes land on your best friend who is hugging his dad goodbye. “I mean,” she stops hugging you and rests her hands on your shoulders. “I just loved having you around the house. It feels like old times when you and Sunwoo would keep me company when Changmin went off to college.” The bittersweet smile on her face is a reminder of how much you have grown to be part of the family.

“Eomma, I’ll be back,” you assure her with a soft smile. She pinches your cheek just like how she first saw you back in the Ji household.

As soon as she lets go of you, she approaches her son to engulf him in a hug. You always knew that his mother misses his presence even more with every day that passes. So when it comes to seeing Changmin melt into his mother’s embrace, you feel your heartstrings tug at the sight. You do not listen to their conversation for it is their moment to share.

Once the two stopped hugging each other, Changmin quickly walked to the spot beside you. “I’ll see you again for graduation.” And when he suddenly links his arm with yours, your breath hitches. It is not that you are uncomfortable doing such in front of his family. Rather, it is your newfound feelings that make you hyperaware of every action.

But when his family shoots you two warm smiles, you feel your shoulders let loose. “You two take care of each other, okay?” His dad orders. And when you take a look at the boy who stands beside you, his eyes are already on you.

“Of course,” your best friend says with his eyes still on you. When his lips turn into a smile, every part of you finds itself melting. “We’ll always have each other.” The moment he looks away from you has you snapping your head back to the family in front of you. You do not miss the teasing smiles that come from his sisters.

“I’m glad you two have each other until now.” Yuna takes a glance at her sister. “I mean, you can see how Hanhee and Byungho are still together—I’m sure it’ll be the same for you two.”

You find yourself flustered over her statement, only realizing the hidden implications of her comparing you two with the other pair. But when you hear your best friend hum, you look at him to only see that godforsaken smile. His grin does nothing but wonders for you; it tugs on your heartstrings; it eases all your anxieties; it proves that everything good in this world is stored in one human named Ji Changmin.

And his reaction only has you hoping for the same thing for you and your best friend. Because who cares if you started to like him in that way? On New Year’s, you are still with him. What matters most is that you guys will stick like glue until the end—your friend group should remain together and withstand the test of time.

“Hey, you’ll be late for your train back,” Hanhee speaks up with a bittersweet smile on her face. When you look down at your phone, you notice that there are fifteen minutes left until the train departs.

With a sigh, you say, “Thank you again, and happy new year! I’ll see you again.” And just like that, you and Changmin bid farewell to the Ji family and your home as well.

Leaving Cheongju will never be easy. This town has everything you grew up with; the swing set that Sunwoo pushed you off too hard which caused the scar on your knee; the marts your friend group of three would rush to once you were dismissed; the familiar faces of your best friends’ families. And having to say goodbye to this place almost felt like saying farewell to a piece of you that you never want to let go.

But the reality is that you are not leaving forever—it is only a “see you” until you close the chapter you are currently in. And the past still lives within you, for you are a kaleidoscope of everything that you have learned to love, hate, and grow with.

You and Changmin dragged the luggage with arms still linked with one another until you finally arrived at the platform. Once your best friend shows your tickets to the man stationed, he gives you a nod and allows you to enter the train.

The two of you walked until you stood in front of your booked seats. Before you could grab onto your luggage, your best friend has already carried it to store in the overhead bin. “Hey, I can handle it.”

Changmin cannot help but chuckle at your statement. “Just take a seat.” You roll your eyes before taking a seat by the window. As soon as your best friend stores his luggage beside yours, he takes his spot in the chair beside you and lets out a sigh. Before you know it, the doors have closed and you are on your way back to university.

You cannot help but look through the window. Your eyes catch sight of the town you had to say goodbye to; some buildings have lost their color; the snow is slowly melting away; unfamiliar faces spread throughout the settlement. The city is not the same, but it will always be the place you love.

“Leaving Cheongju is never easy.” You are snapped out of your thoughts by your best friend who suddenly shares his thoughts. Once you look at him, you notice a sigh leave his mouth as his eyes look through the window. “I get homesick, especially when I think about Gana or Minho’s tteokbokki. I can only imagine how much harder it is for you since you haven’t been here in years.”

And you thought you would agree with his last sentence because this town carries everything that matters—from the memories to the people that you grew up with. But when you look at him, you allow yourself to smile. There is a reason why you were able to withstand being away from Cheongju—it just so happens to be because of the boy who sits beside you.

“You know what got me through it all?” As soon as he looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, you grab his hand to intertwine your fingers with his. “You. You’re a piece of Cheongju that will heal me of anything.”

You do not miss the way his eyes widen at your words. But the moment he starts to smile is something you will forever imprint on your mind. You look back through the window and notice that the scenery has changed to the rural areas.

“I never got to say this but I saw the stack you kept—the clippings of my articles from university.” When you feel his grip suddenly become looser, you look at your best friend whose face is painted with shock. “I never knew you would continue keeping my articles like you did back in high school.”

His gaze softens. “Of course I do, you’re my favorite writer.” You pout at his words. “I look forward to your articles. You’re doing good work, always.”

Everything about his words will remind you of a love so pure—one that you know you have the privilege of experiencing. You know you are lucky to have a best friend like him. Not everyone can say they are supported by someone in the same way he supports you. And you are thankful for everything he has done for you.

You look away from him so that you can rest your head on his shoulder. As you look at the passing scenery of greens and blues, you smile to yourself. “Happy New Year, Changmin,” you whisper out. You feel the way his shoulders move as he slowly breathes in and out. “I’m glad that we found our way to each other.”

The two of you sit in silence. The ever-changing scenery is enough to keep you distracted. But most of all, his heat is enough to lull you into slumber—one that you can only imagine how it would be like to fall asleep and wake up in his embrace. Another year has passed and you two are still together—you can only hope for a lifetime with him.

After getting off the train, you two continued to hold hands while making your way to the taxi stand. The area is not too busy despite it being New Year’s which would make it easy for you to find a ride back to your place. But a part of you wishes that there were long lines of people trying to catch a ride—maybe then it would be the perfect excuse to still stay with your best friend.

You turn your head to the right to face the guy who still held your hand. He lets out a sigh with a downcast gaze. “I guess this is where we part ways for now,” he mumbles before looking back at you.

“Yeah.” You smile as you turn your body to face him. “Thank you, again.” You look down at your hand that holds his. “I’m glad you let me spend time with you and your family for the break. I thought I would be fine staying at home but I realized that I would’ve been too lonely in the end.”

As soon as you let out a deep breath, you look back up to him who has a smile. “Hey, I’m glad you joined us. I’m sure my family loved having you over and would definitely keep the offer available anytime.”

For a moment, you two just smile at each other and occasionally look down at your linked hands. You both knew you were going to see each other in a few days, so why did it feel hard to say goodbye for now?

And before you know it, Changmin pulls your hand close to him so that he can bring you into an embrace. Your breath hitches at the sudden action—you are sure he heard it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–” Your arms find themselves wrapping around his waist before he can remove his off of you.

“It’s okay,” you whisper into his ear as your chin rests on his shoulder. “Just–let’s just stay like this.” And he followed, bringing you closer to him. He found his face snuggled against your shoulder.

Your eyes close for a moment. As your mind replays the events of the trip, you let out a sigh of contentment. You expected your break to be another time of slouching around doing absolutely nothing. Yet, this trip healed you of everything—it allowed you to live the life that you never gave yourself to reminisce about since entering university. But most of all, it gave you a moment of clarity that you desperately needed.

As soon as your arms started to loosen their grip on his waist, his arms let go of you. You two stood in front of each other with small smiles. “I’ll see you in two days, okay?” When you earn a nod from him, you look at the line of taxis. And before you know it, you dragged yourself and your luggage to one of the cars, not looking back to your best friend.

“What could you have possibly needed me for that could not wait until the semester started?” Sunwoo groans as he flops down on the chair by your desk. Currently, you are sitting up in your bed with your iPad lying around.

“Well, the semester is tomorrow! And I’m sure you would want to hear this.” Despite your attempt to explain your urgency (which is practically forcing him to visit you as soon as he arrives back), your best friend cannot help but frown at you.

It has been a day since you last saw Changmin—two days since you came to terms with your feelings toward him. Since the revelation, you have not gotten a wink of sleep. You were up in your thoughts as you kept constantly debating whether what you felt was platonic or romantic.

So when you called your best friend about a supposed emergency without allowing him to ask any questions, he had to hear you out. “Have you noticed that I haven’t unpacked my shit? I practically came rushing here!”

“And that’s how I know you’re a good friend.”

He stands up and says, “I’m going to leave now.”

“No! Wait!” Your frazzled reaction has him eyeing you down. As soon as you let out a sigh, you say, “Please, it is urgent. I’ll even treat you to lunch and help you unpack.” You look down at your hands. “I need to let this out or it will eat me up.”

The moment you let those words leave your mouth, you look back up to see Sunwoo with a worried expression. And just like that, he brings the chair closer to your bed so that he is within arms-length from you. He takes a seat and says, “Okay, I’m here. Tell me what’s going on.”

You find your eyes falling back to your hands that pick on the skin around your nails. It is silent for a moment. Your best friend gives you the time you need to muster up the courage to say what is on your mind. The moment your eyes land back on the boy who sits on the chair, you feel the words get stuck in your throat.

“I–god, this is harder than I thought,” you laugh to yourself as you shake your head.

Sunwoo chuckles. “You’re okay, it’s just me.”

You let out a sigh before sharing, “I think something changed during that trip.” When you are met with his confused expression, you scratch the back of your neck. “I think I like Changmin.”

“You do?!” The way Sunwoo shoots up from his seat has you clutching your chest, shocked by his sudden outburst.

“Jesus, Sunwoo! You practically gave me a heart attack.” Although you scold him, he pays no attention to whatever you have to say.

“I can’t believe you like Changmin!”

You roll your eyes. “I said I think, I’m not sure if I do yet.”

“You said yet. Oh my god, you do like him!” The boy continues to exclaim despite your annoyed expression.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you bite the inside of your cheek. “Okay, maybe I do.” As you whisper those words, you hear the way Sunwoo gasps. “But I don’t know if this is just me mistaking platonic love with romantic one like before with, you know, you.”

All your best friend does is roll his eyes. “Okay, but this is different!” Despite the worry-free smile on his face, you frown.

“How is it any different? Sunwoo, this is me liking my Changmin out of the blue. I’m pretty sure my crush on you played out the same way,” you argue before crossing your arms.

You expect some type of explanation from your best friend. Maybe he could give you some clarity since you desperately need it. But you are met with an answer that does nothing to help you out. “I don’t know—it just is.” You cannot help but let out a sigh. “Okay, why don’t you give me the full story first? Maybe I can help you out,” he offers with a smile as he grabs onto your shoulder.

And just like that, you gave him a recap of what occurred between you and Changmin during the trip—when you found the stack of clippings of your recent articles from the university’s papers to the hug you shared before parting ways. Every time you mentioned a new moment shared, you always found yourself looking up to your best friend who only listened. For once, he did not react or comment like he used to when you shared about your adventures with Jacob.

The moment you finish sharing, Sunwoo lets out a hum as his hands find their place back in the pocket of his hoodie. “You know, Y/N, I think you should just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Let it play out, and everything will make sense to you.” He watches you look down at your hands once more. “I know I say this all the time but I mean it, especially now. You’ll only be able to figure this out only with time.”

You hate that your best friend makes sense. When you opened up about your hesitation regarding what you want with Jacob, Sunwoo and Changmin always told you that only time could tell you such. And you did listen to their advice—only to be led to a spot where you are now liking the one person you did not want to jeopardize your friendship with.

“Hey, I know that look,” Sunwoo snaps you out of your thoughts. “You need to stop thinking too hard about it, and just let yourself feel what you want to feel.”

“But I don’t want to ruin what I already have with Changmin just because I can’t figure out if these newfound feelings are genuine or just from me being lonely,” you counter.

Your hesitation is valid. Considering that these feelings you harbor are towards your best friend, the stakes seem higher. You do not want your own emotions to throw away years of friendship. So you hope that Sunwoo can give you the answer that will ease all your worries.

Your best friend bites the inside of his cheek as he stares you down. “Y/N, I’ll ask you this: Do you love him?” As your eyebrows shoot up at his sudden use of the ‘l’ term, he shakes his head. “I’m talking about in general—don’t think about the romantic or platonic bullshit.”

Of course, you do—you love your best friends for they have been with you for every achievement and hardship faced. The love you have for the three demons is something that can never be challenged. You are here because they are your reasons to keep on going, no matter how difficult the journey may be.

Although you give him a nod, he sighs. Confused by his reaction, you find yourself frowning. That is until he asks you another question. “Is the love that you feel for him the same type that you experience with me or Chanhee?” And just like that, you feel your breath hitch. The frown leaves your face as your eyes widen at the sudden question.

Sunwoo shows you a small smile. “I think you know your answer then.”

The second semester has commenced. Although you expect to find yourself sitting with your friends by the spot that you four sort of claim, you are sitting in Morning Roasters alone. The thing is you are waiting for someone in particular to come—the 5th-year who is not as unattainable as you thought would be.

You two were supposed to schedule another date as soon as the second semester came. Jacob actually messaged you first regarding your availability. But when you told him that you needed to have a sit down with him, he then knew that the date would have to wait.

When he comes into the cafe, your eyes lock with his. You expect to see that typical smile that he always flashes at you. But instead, he only shows you a small one—almost bittersweet. The moment he takes a seat on the chair across from you, you take a sip of your chai latte.

“Hi, Jacob,” you greet him with a small smile. “I’m sorry about this. I just need to talk to you about something before we plan anything.” The chuckle that leaves your mouth is awkward.

“It’s fine,” he voices out, finally showing you that sweet smile. “I don’t mind seeing you—with or without dates.” Guilt rips and tears every part of you.

You both know what is going to be said. If anything, his words are an indicator that he prepared for your news—one that will break his heart. You wish that it did not have to play out like this, but it would be unfair to you both if you kept going on these dates without being honest.

Sighing, you manage to start, “Jacob, I really like you.” You slip out an embarrassing chuckle which only makes him smile. “I remember the first time I met you was at that one meeting Kevin held for the Features staff. I was the new recruit, and I can remember how scared I was until my eyes landed on you.”

“You know, the aura you brought around is just so comforting, and I think that’s what made me drawn to you. I have always thought of you as the senior who I want to be around—to get to know more throughout my stay. And when I didn’t get that opportunity to work with you in my first year, I thought you would only remain that unattainable senior who would plague my mind with ‘what-ifs’.” Your eyes drift down to your hands that are folded on your lap.

“I can remember how much I talked about you to my best friends. I mean, not only were you kind but you’re an amazing writer. I hoped that by some miracle, I could work with you. And somehow, the universe listened.” You now look up to the boy who sits there with a small smile. “In my time working with you, I have enjoyed every interview, every section close, every unofficial date. And I got to know you more outside of the persona I’ve created in my mind.”

You have only said good things because Jacob is nothing but good. In your time knowing him, he has shown you genuineness and kindness. He is everything green—from the way he treats you to the way he handles every article with utmost care. The 5th-year is who you should desire, and yet, you cannot bring yourself to do so.

“To me, you are a friend who I know I can enjoy my time with, whether in silence or work. I know I can go to you when I need company at parties or even just for meals. But at the end of it all, you are still the senior who I idolize. And I think I confused the idea of love with admiration.” As soon as those words leave your mouth, you notice the way he looks down at his lap.

Now, the smiles are gone from both of your faces. This confrontation is everything but easy. No matter how much Jacob seems to like you, your initial impression of your sentiments played out differently. There is no way to force your feelings to play out differently, and you both knew that.

“I–I’m sorry,” you choke out. “I wanted to give this a shot by letting time do its wonders, but I think that it just proved that my feelings now won’t waver.”

Jacob nods before his eyes reach yours. “Not even a second date can change it?” You know it is his attempt to make a joke. But with a smile on your face, you shake your head. From your answer, he nods. “I guess I missed my chance.”

For a moment, silence settles between you two. The tunes of jazz continue to play out softly through the speakers scattered around the cafe. The two of you continue to look into each other’s eyes as you let the news settle.

That is until he decides to break it with a question. “Y/N, can I ask you something?” When you shoot him a nod, he asks, “Do you think you would have given us a shot when you were a first-year?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. You have definitely thought about it—maybe you and Jacob would have had a chance if you worked together in your first year. And maybe you would have gone on more dates and eventually found yourself genuinely falling in love with the senior. What could have transpired between you two may have been a love story sweet like no other. But all these are just ‘what ifs’—that type of story playing out is not certain.

“I don’t know,” you find yourself admitting with your eyes now trailing down to the cup of chai latte that sits on the table. “I would like to think that it could’ve happened, but we’ll never know for sure.”

He lets out a sigh. For a while, he does not say anything. But when he asks the question “We can still be friends though, right?”, you quickly nod your head.

“Of course, Jacob. I value the friendship we’ve built.” You notice the smile that shows on his lips. “And it would be awkward if we break off ties since we work together.”

He laughs at what you say, shaking his head. “You’re right. And knowing Kevin, he’ll make us write together again.” He takes a moment to breathe. “I like writing with you, so I hope for more chances to have our bylines beside each other before I graduate.”

And you cannot help but feel heartache over his words. Jacob has only shown you nothing but tenderness. Even after shattering the possibility of you two ever being together, he still treats you with so much care. You know that it would be a privilege for anyone to be liked by Jacob—you are glad to say you got a taste of what it would be like to have a future with him.

“I do, too. I like working with you, and I’m glad that joining the publication helped me find my way to you.” As you say those words, you notice a bittersweet smile that paints his face.

Saying goodbye to a future that you fantasized about is difficult. You hate that all the scenarios you imagined of how it would be like to be loved by Jacob are ones you will never truly experience. Blame it on wrong timing or your confusion about what you think love may be—all you know is that a future with him is something you will not have.

It has been two weeks since you confronted Jacob. Despite how the events played out, you two surprisingly managed to interact without any awkwardness. It is not like you could say you went back to normal since your first interactions with him were when you still had a crush on him. But this new stage in your relationship is something you like for it feels natural like your other friendships.

Kevin held a meeting a few days ago to discuss the assignments for this semester. Now, you two are seated on one of the picnic tables as you try to work. Thankfully, the snow has melted away. While it is still cold, it is the type that you find yourself enjoying. You and Jacob were tasked to cover women’s sexual lifestyles in a patriarchal society. It is something you pitched, and you are happy to work on it with him.

“Okay! Welcome back, everyone! A new semester means a new set of articles to be assigned. Happy New Year, by the way.” Kevin shoots everyone in the room with a smile. “I love the story pitches! You guys keep improving, I’m impressed.”

It has been a week since you confronted Jacob. Despite how the events played out, you two surprisingly managed to interact without any awkwardness. It is not like you could say you went back to normal for your first interactions with him when you still had a crush on him. But this new stage in your relationship with him is something you like for it feels natural like your other friendships.

“Since it is, unfortunately, my last semester being your editor, I want to make the most of guiding you all. I’ll still be having you guys cover the topics I’ll be assigning, but I will now encourage you all to write opinion pieces. Not only that, I’ll be encouraging you to run for my position for the next year!” As he says those words, you cannot help but feel a heavy weight on your heart.

The semester has only started—how can you be pressured already? Before you can think more about your editor’s words, he snaps you out of your thoughts. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be giving you enough time to think it over. So for now, I’ll just assign your pitches.”

He clears his throat as he looks at his laptop. You do not pay attention to him listing out pitches assigned to other individuals who are part of your staff. That is only until he calls your name. “Y/N and Jacob will work on women’s sexual lifestyles amidst the patriarchal and conservative society. Along with that, you two will also cover drag queens found on campus.” When your eyes settle on Jacob, you do not miss his smile. You shoot him a grin before looking back at your editor whose eyes are still on his laptop screen.

“That should be it. Yay! Don’t forget to schedule your ICs with me since it is required. We’ll be talking about potential opinion article topics and your plans for the next school year.” And just like that, Kevin dismisses the meeting.

You let out a sigh as you scroll through the questions you and Jacob are working on. “Do you think these questions should be fine for Kevin to review?”

Jacob lets out a hum as he scrolls through the shared document on his laptop. “Yeah, I think we can rephrase this question though to focus more on the shame that comes with discussing or participating in premarital sex.” He looks at you. “What do you think about that?”

“Yeah, that should be good on my end,” you say as you watch his attempt to rephrase the question found on the document. As soon as he finishes, you shoot him a smile. “I think that’s good! We can have these reviewed by Kevin, and then we can meet with our interviewees at their preferred schedule.”

You quickly type out an email to Kevin and make sure you attach the document before sending it out. Once you get the notification stating it was successfully delivered, you smile at your laptop screen. The first hurdle is over with. You think you can take a moment to relax until you are hit with a question.

“Y/N, do you have an opinion piece in mind?” As soon as your co-writer asks you, you cannot help but let out a groan. Your eyes move from the screen to his face. You notice the way he tries to hold back his laugh from your reaction.

“I have no clue.” You prop your arm on the table and rest your chin on your hand, a pout forming on your lips. “Do you?” As soon as he nods, you cannot help but gasp. “What do you have?!”

He chuckles at your reaction. “It’s very rough, but I want to talk about my experience growing up in Korea. I thought now would be a perfect time to talk about being an immigrant.” You nod, signaling for him to continue. “I mean, it really is just my journey to finding that sense of belonging since I’m a Korean who grew up overseas. Thought it would be nice to look back and talk about the people I found a home in before I graduate.”

You smile at how he shares his ideas with you. The way he talks about this opinion piece shows how personal it is to him. You only knew a part of the immigrant experience (mainly from memoirs you have read or interviews you conducted). But you knew that it is different for everyone, so you were interested to hear what Jacob’s experience is like.

“It’s nice to know that you want to share that. I’m excited to read it when you start writing it,” you say with a smile.

“Well, it still needs to go under some approval from the rest of the editorial board, but Kevin sounds hopeful. He says he’s going to push for it since he’s technically an immigrant himself.” You nod over his words.

You were well aware that two boys came from Canada. While Jacob may have been born and raised in Toronto, Kevin moved to Vancouver at a young age. So when the pair came to Korea for high school, they found themselves lost in the sea of people who already knew each other. But the universe eventually brought them together. And with that, they sought comfort in each other due to their shared experiences.

You were glad to know that the two had each other. Although you will never understand the struggles that come with being an immigrant, you know that the two boys finding each other made every day easier.

While the Canadian boys rely on each other, your friend group had one another. That is the beauty that comes with friendships—it starts unexpectedly with a stranger only for them to become your person in the end.

“But going back, you don’t have anything you’re remotely interested in talking about?” Jacob asks you once more.

Sighing, you say, “I don’t know. You think I can talk about my obsession with Bluey?” The guy cannot help but laugh. “I’m serious! I have no clue what to say. Do you think Kevin would let me off without writing one?”

He hums for a moment. “I mean, he would let you not write but I think he would be bummed out.” You let out a groan as you cross your arms on the table and rest your chin on them. “He would never push you to do anything you don’t want to do.” You can only sigh as you look off into nowhere.

“I just know that I have nothing right now. Literally got no good ideas worthy of being published.” You stare at the leaves that slowly move with the wind. Spring is slowly coming; you notice it in the way that the trees and plants have started to gain color; flowers are slowly about to bud; you can feel the slight warmth of the sun despite the cold air.

When your eyes drift away from the trees, they end up landing on a boy who has only filled you with warmth. You cannot help but smile at the sight of him. A hoodie drowns his figure, making him look cuddlier than ever. As he slowly makes his way toward you, you notice that his nose is tinted red from the cold air. And as soon as he sees your grin, he cannot help but smile back.

You find yourself sitting up from your slouched position before he makes his way to the spot beside you. “Hi, Jacob hyung,” he greets the guy who sits across from you two. And just like that, you link your arm with his. You do not miss the way his eyes glance at you over the sudden action.

Your head finds its place on his shoulder as you let out a sigh. “Changmin, I’m in trouble.” His body moves slightly as he lets out a chuckle.

“What did you do now?”

You blow raspberries as you look at Jacob who watches you both. “Kevin is encouraging us to write opinion pieces and I have no clue what to write about.”

“Y/N wants to write about Bluey,” the 5th-year chimes in.

A gasp leaves your mouth, making you lift your head from Changmin’s shoulder. “How could you say that?! I wanted to tell him myself!” The boy beside you giggles.

“I was going to suggest writing about that too,” your best friend admits. “Or you can write about me.”

You shoot him a frown. “Oh, be so for real right now.”

“What? You can write about how you can’t live without me.” The innocent smile that is on his lips only makes you want to wipe it off his face. And you cannot help but smack his arm with your free hand. “Yah! Why are you hitting me? I’m just throwing out suggestions for you.” His reaction makes you burst into laughter, making you snuggle your face into the space between his neck and shoulder.

You two remain snuggled up—one complaining while the other laughing over nothing. These moments perfectly encapsulate the dynamic between you and Changmin; the bantering that comes from nowhere; the sudden laughter that leaves you two when nothing hilarious happens; and the way you two always seem to latch onto each other. And Jacob bears witness to it all.

As he observes the sight of you two in your own world, an ill feeling rises in his guts—almost as if it is bile. He has never seen you smile or laugh like that with anyone else but Changmin. It is not like you react the same way around Chanhee or Sunwoo (based on his limited interactions with them). With your ears that are tinted red and the smile on Changmin’s face that contrasts with his complaints, Jacob cannot help but bite the inside of his cheek.

Everything starts to make sense to him—the two of you had unexpectedly crossed the platonic boundary that was drawn out. And now, you two were swimming in uncharted territories of adoration.

A part of him wants to laugh. Back then, he was convinced that something was going on between you and Changmin. Even if Kevin was insistent in convincing him that you two are just friends, he never knew if he could fully believe his best friend’s words. Blame it on insecurities or disbelief—it was just his way of protecting himself from the inevitable.

“I should get going,” he says as he shuts his laptop close. You lift your head from Changmin’s shoulder with eyes wide. “Kevin needs me to meet with him.” The lie leaves his mouth easily, and you and your best friend fall for it.

“Oh, okay! Maybe you can also tell Kevin we’ve emailed him the questions and the possible outline of the article already?” He nods at your words. And when you shoot him such an innocent smile, he cannot help but feel his resolve falter for a second.

When he stands up from his seat and carries his laptop and bag, you and your best friend bid him farewell. He turns away from the sight of you two and walks away with a heart heavier than ever.

As much as he hates to admit it, he still finds himself entertaining a possible future with you. Who can blame him? In his fantasies, he can feel your arms wrap around his waist as he cooks you a meal. You two would sway while he hums melodies. And you would litter kisses all over as he whispers sweet nothings.

But all of this is make-believe—he knows he does not stand a chance against your best friend who has permanently carved his place in your heart. It pains him to know that Changmin is a good guy; there will be no good reason to hate him. But with time, maybe he can come to terms that you will share your future with your best friend. For now, he will let himself wallow in bitter jealousy.

It is 3:34 PM. It has been two weeks since you complained to Jacob and Changmin about having no topic for an opinion piece. Over the weeks, you and Jacob were able to conduct interviews and gather the necessary information. After talking to the women who shared their accounts on sex amidst conservative Korea, you two wanted the piece to turn out well—capturing their experiences and sending out a message that will have people reconsider what they believe to be right or wrong.

Now, you are seated across from Chanhee by your friend group’s informal hideout. While he edits his photos, you transcribe away.

Although you two hang out with each other while working on newspaper matters, you have no idea what has been going on in your best friend’s life. To be fair, his schedule has always been the busiest out of everyone in the friend group. Being a photographer means he has to be present for almost every event or coverage.

Chanhee is your lowest-maintenance friend. In contrast to what you have with Changmin, you two could go on for weeks without having to talk to each other. Although you would occasionally pass by each other due to publication work, there are not a lot of instances to sit down and talk.

And you did not mind the distance—you were comfortable with the low-maintenance friendship for you two had your own priorities. What helps is that you both came from the publication, so you and Chanhee are aware of how difficult it can be to spare time in the day.

Being behind on what goes on in each other’s lives is not a sin. While some friendships like to see each other as much as possible (like you and Changmin) or be updated on everything (like you and Sunwoo), some could survive without constant updates or interactions. And that is the beauty of friendships—they operate so differently yet so similarly. Your relationships with the three boys may be distinct, but the love you all share is still the same.

But of course, your low-maintenance friendship does not mean that you do not want to update him about everything. If anything, the distance does make your heartfelt interactions more sentimental. So when you found yourself stopping the recording, you knew that you wanted to tell him about your revelation over the winter break.

You remove your headphones and hang them around your neck. “Chanhee.” The boy lets out a hum of curiosity before looking up from his laptop.

“Yeah?”

You take a moment to ponder over how to articulate your thoughts. And when you try to let the words come out, you feel them get stuck in your throat. “God, never mind.”

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head before saying, “We’re both preoccupied with work, so I think it can wait.” You are met with Chanhee’s frown before he quickly types away and shuts his laptop.

“We can take a break. I want to hear what’s on your mind,” he says with a small smile. As he sees your pout, he sighs. “I’m serious. We haven’t sat down and talked in a while, so I kind of miss knowing what goes on in your life with Mr. Bae.”

The nervous chuckle you let out has your best friend taken back. “Yeah, about that…” You trail off as you scratch the back of your neck. “I am not going on a second date.”

“You aren’t?” When you shake your head, a pout forms on his lips. “What’s wrong? Not that great of a guy?”

A sigh leaves your mouth. “No, he’s great! Actually, the date we had was so sweet; we baked a cake together.”

“No way!” Chanhee gasps. “Where did this even happen?”

“Jacob always goes to this bakery run by this cute couple, and he’s close enough with them to let us use their kitchen.” You smile to yourself as your eyes trail down to your keyboard. “It was a cute first date to go on. But,” your eyes go back to Chanhee. “I don’t like him in that way.”

“Oh, Y/N,” he reaches out for your hand and holds onto it. “That’s okay. Sometimes, people are just meant to stay as crushes. You don’t have to pursue them if you don’t want to—let alone if you aren’t ready for a relationship.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Chanhee, there’s a bigger reason why I wanted to talk to you about this.” The way his eyebrows furrow in worry has you shooting him a bittersweet smile.

When you try to speak, you can feel the words hitching at your throat. Your best friend notices your hesitancy, making him caress your hand in a way that would allow him to stroke it in circular motions. And when you watch the way he shows you a comforting smile, you let your eyes close as you take a deep breath.

“I think I like Changmin.”

Despite your news, your best friend does not stop holding your hand. Your eyes open to see the sight of him still showing the same smile. And when he slowly nods, you feel your bottom lip quiver. Such a simple action should not speak a thousand words, but it is a hidden action reserved for you two—one that says, “I know, I have always known.”

And just like that, the waterworks turn on. The tears roll down your cheeks as Chanhee holds onto your hand. You never wanted to cry, but something about this moment had you vulnerable about something you have not stopped thinking about.

“How long have you known?” The question comes out like a whisper. You are afraid to hear his answer because it might change what you have always thought about your friendship with Changmin.

Chanhee lets his eyes trail down to your linked hands. “I think since the first time I saw you two interact,” he starts off. “When you introduced me to Sunwoo and Changmin for the first time, I thought that there was something special about you and my roommate.” His eyes then look back at yours, and his free hand reaches out to wipe away your tears with his thumbs. “It’s not that I have always known that you liked him, but I think what you have with him is like no other relationship.”

You cannot help but pout at his answer. “Is what I have with him not friendship?”

“No, it is,” he smiles at you as he wipes away one more tear. “It’s friendship, a beautiful one to begin with. But I also think it has always been more than that—something that you and Changmin were too blind to see.” His hand leaves your face and goes back to holding your hand. “And it’s not like it’s wrong, for you and him are the only ones who can define what you two have. I think you might finally be realizing that what you wanted was right in front of you all along.”

It is supposed to sound corny—Changmin being the person you wanted all along. But you hate to admit that Chanhee is right. Maybe that is why you have gone on with your life not particularly bothered by your lackluster love life (although it made you wonder if you would ever be desirable enough for anyone, really). The love you feel from your friends is enough to remind you of your worth. But the one Changmin made you feel is enough to push mountains and change seasons.

The birds start to chipper; the sun glows on you and Chanhee; the air smells of flowers. Despite the tears you shed just minutes ago, the world still moves as if it sings out the words, “Spring has come!” It is as if the universe echoed the message you found yourself reaching at the end of your conversation with Chanhee—there is no reason to be afraid of falling in love with your best friend for he is everything you hope for.

It is 2:27 PM when you meet with Kevin in the publication room. You and Jacob officially wrapped up your article a few days ago. With minimal comments from your editor, you both were happy with the output.

In the publication room, there is a small room where the different clusters usually hold meetings. You swing its door open to see Kevin seated with his laptop out. He looks up at you and shoots you a smile. “Y/N! Nice to see you on time for our consultation.”

You take a seat across from your editor. “Hi, Kevin,” you greet him with a small smile.

“I’m sure you already know what this is for. But just for formality's sake, thank you for having this individual consultation with me.” He claps his hands in joy. “Today, I’ll be talking with you regarding next year’s editor position and your opinion article.”

You scratch the back of your neck before saying, “I am not going to lie, I am not considering running for Features editor.”

Kevin shows you a smile, almost as if he expected your response. “Okay, let’s talk about it. Why did you decide that?”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “I think there’s just so much more for me to learn.” When he signals you to continue, you let out a small sigh. “I mean, I don’t think I’m suited for the position with my current skill set. There’s still so much I can learn!”

Your editor sighs as he moves his laptop aside. “I know we had this conversation back when you were still a 1st-year. Do you remember it?”

Of course, you remember that conversation vividly. When Kevin first approached you regarding your interest in taking over his spot after he graduates, you remember how insistent you were in denying it.

“Kevin, I don’t think you should be asking me about this,” you say with a small smile. “I mean, I have only gotten into the groove of writing for the uni’s paper just this year. I don’t think I am the best option to consider.”

Your editor pouts and says, “That’s not true. You are a perfectly good candidate to take over when I graduate. You’re a skilled writer with a good eye for topics to unravel.”

You shake your head. “I still think there is room for improvement when it comes to writing. And right now, I don’t have the capabilities to handle the duties and responsibilities that come with being an editor.”

It is one thing to be a good student journalist—being an editor is a different case. There comes a responsibility to ensure that everything goes in order. Not only that, you become someone the staff and the rest of the editorial board can trust. The idea of it all is anxiety-inducing, and now may not be the best time to consider it given that you are still adjusting.

“I really appreciate you for considering me, but I think that I still need to learn and grow as a writer before considering that responsibility.” As you say those words, your editor can only nod.

“Okay, I understand where this is coming from,” Kevin sighs. “I once was in your position when my old editor, Sangyeon, asked me that during my first year in the publication. I denied it, just like you, and kept explaining that my journey as a writer cannot end yet. But Sangyeon kept saying that running for the position would bring challenges that I need to face as a writer.”

For a moment, you think over his words. But before you can say anything, he continues, “You never stop writing and growing—think of it as a way to take up more challenges that will force you to think critically, to think of solutions, to really test you. And if it helps, you won’t be handling it alone because you have the rest of the board to rely on!”

Kevin raised really good points. Taking up an editor position would allow you to gauge if your future does lie in journalism after all; it would allow you to learn before entering the workforce. But now, you do not think you are capable of handling it.

“I can at least think about it,” you start off. “I have one full school year to think about it. But for now, I am not planning to run.”

Your editor smiles and says, “That’s better than an immediate no.”

You let out a sigh. “Yes, I remember. But I still think that I need to work under someone’s guidance. I don’t think I am suited for the editor position.”

For a moment, he does not say anything as he thinks over your words. Before you can add any more excuses, he interjects, “Y/N, I will tell you this—I think you have learned as much as you can as a writer. During my years being your editor, I think that the growth you’re looking for comes with applying for a position on the editorial board.”

You cannot help but pout at his reality check, but you know he was right. “I know you’re considering a job in journalism, so I think this would be a good opportunity to at least prepare you for it outside of your internships.” Kevin shows you a small smile. “You still have a few months to consider since applications start around the latter half of the semester.”

When you simply nod, he lets out a small sigh. “Y/N, I just want you to know that you are very capable of being an editor—that you are destined for greatness” You cannot help but smile at his praise. “I understand that it is scary because of the responsibilities, but it is worth the experience.”

The best thing about Kevin is that he has always looked out for you. Even in your first year in the publication, he always made it a point to look out for every member of his staff. Whether it would be writing issues or mental health concerns, he would find a way to help. Now that he attempts to possibly hand you the position (if no one else runs for it), reality is starting to hit that you would not be under his care.

“Kevin, I’m going to miss you,” you say with a pout.

He shakes his head as he slightly rolls his eyes. “Okay, we are not having that sappy talk. Reserve it for the last meeting.” You cannot help but chuckle. “But going back, let’s talk about your opinion article.”

Your pout contrasts his smile. “I have no clue what to write about.” A sigh leaves your lips. “Like, I’ve talked to Jacob and I’m still hit with absolutely nothing.”

Kevin chuckles at the way you complain before saying, “I get it. Sometimes, thinking about a topic you’re passionate about is hard considering the character limit implemented.” You nod at his words. “Okay, so maybe we can start with your life, you know. Why don’t you guide me through the years?”

With that, you let out a sigh as you recall your years growing up. “Well, school was school. I was your average student. I can’t recall too much about the super early years, but I do remember grade school being the period I was exploring a lot of hobbies.” You hum for a moment. “Oh! I also met Sunwoo that time because we were seatmates.”

Your editor smiles. “Ah, Sunwoo! I’m surprised, you know? Not a lot of people can say they’re still best friends with their childhood friends.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “We were always seatmates for some reason, so the proximity forced us to interact. I can remember how passionate he was about soccer, which I guess started my journey exploring different activities. I mean, something about his passion made me want to experience the same thing.”

For a child like you, seeing someone with so much enjoyment from participating in an activity feels revolutionary. The determination your best friend had to succeed in every soccer practice or tournament made you imagine the feeling that comes from hard work being paid off. It is something you want to experience.

“So, I ended up going through different hobbies like drawing, playing instruments, and even doing sports. But when I was forced to read a book, I somehow picked up writing as my hobby.” You shake your head at the memory as you look down at your lap. “Funnily enough, I remember hating reading and writing in my early years only until I started reading this one fantasy series. I was just so fascinated with these worlds, and I thought I could do it myself.”

The only reason why you were forced to read was because your English teacher warned your parents about your grades in the said subject. With that, you were handed a book to read. Although the first few pages seemed like a chore to get through, you eventually found yourself being invested in the said book. You ended up asking your parents to buy you the whole series before you knew it.

“Although I tried to do creative writing bullshit, it never worked out for me. I don’t know, I just don’t think I was capable of building such grand narratives. But reading books did start my love for academic writing, oddly enough,” you say as your eyes trail back up to Kevin who sits and listens to your story. “I remember it reached a point where I would join competitions for essays and whatnot.”

You let out a hum as you took a brief look up to the ceiling. “I think it was at a competition where I first found out about Feature writing since it was a big event with other writers of different age groups. I can remember when I first told Sunwoo about my interest in it, and he was so supportive.” Kevin nods along with a smile, showing that he is keeping up with your story.

“It felt so nice to be supported by my best friend in a craft that I had no experience in, you know? So when high school came, I applied for my school’s newspaper team and Sunwoo decided to try dancing for something different. And these crafts brought us to Changmin.”

A smile starts to creep on your face as you remember your entire high school life with the two. And Kevin cannot help but feel his heart warm at the sight of you reminiscing the years spent with the two boys.

“Did you know I used to be intimidated by Changmin?” As soon as you ask that question, your editor cannot help but laugh.

“Are you serious?” The nod you give has him laughing. “But, he’s so baby! How are you scared of him?”

You roll your eyes and say, “I swear, he was intimidating. I think the way he presented himself in high school made me scared of him. And I remember when Sunwoo introduced me to him for the first time. Our interactions felt so awkward mainly because we never talked, and I thought I would only have to see him whenever Sunwoo dragged him along. So when I got accepted into the publication, I was not expecting to see Changmin as a photographer.”

You cross your arms as you lean back in your chair. “Then we somehow got paired together which eventually started our friendship,” you say with a grin. “And with the many instances working together, Changmin and I grew so much closer.” Kevin nods along.

Before you could share more, another thought appeared in your mind. “Oh, god. Back then, I used to have a crush on Sunwoo for a while.” You notice the shock that appears on your editor’s face. “I know, it was weird, but I would talk to Changmin about it. Now, they won’t get off my ass.” You roll your eyes while shaking your head.

“But I can vividly remember that while these guys seemed to have love lives, I didn’t. And you know, it used to bother me because I was the type to always jump from different crushes but never actually have something go past the infatuation stage. But they have always been the people to listen to my lovesick rambles.” You bite the inside of your cheek. “I appreciate them so much because they never made me feel lonely, you know? Even if I never went on dates or experienced the high school love that the two got, they always made sure to keep me company.”

Kevin hums as he nods. “No, I get it. Like, their love is enough, you know?”

“Yeah!” You smile at how he understands what you are trying to say. “Like, they do so much for me despite how much we tend to rile each other up. And I remember how the two took me on this date a few days after Sunwoo’s first date.” You sigh at the memory with a small smile.

“And when Changmin left for college, I remember how devastated we were,” you say as your smile slowly starts to drop. “Weirdly enough, his absence left a huge hole in my heart. It wasn’t easy to contact him because of different schedules and obligations. So when Sunwoo and I finally graduated, we were so happy to see him again.”

When your eyes land back on Kevin, you notice that he remains attentive to your story. “I think that experience taught us that we did rely on each other, but we needed to find a way to coexist without it being too codependent.”

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying,” he interrupts. “The distance revealed that your friendship was turning into codependency which started to reach toxic levels.” You nod. “Yeah, Jacob and I went through the same thing—our friendship became too interdependent which prevented us from growing.”

You let out a hum. “Yeah, exactly that. So when we entered university, we made this collective agreement to let our relationship flourish into a healthier one. It was a long process until Chanhee came into the picture.” As you mention his name, Kevin cannot help but smile.

“After entering the publication and getting to work with Chanhee for my first few coverages, I thought it would be nice to introduce him to Changmin and Sunwoo. And I think it was only then we realized that the group was incomplete until he came in,” you say as you rest your arms on the table. “And I just think our group has evolved into one that I would never trade for the world. I think I was able to grow with them while witnessing their growth as well.”

When you see Kevin nod, you cannot help but sigh. “Sorry, I went on a tangent. But yeah, other than applying for this publication, working with you and Jacob, I guess that’s all that really went on with my life.”

He shakes his head and says, “It’s fine, I liked hearing the story of you four getting together.” You show him a small smile. “I think you have your opinion piece, you know? I think your whole story is a reflection of how strong platonic love is.” As soon as your head tilts to the side, he takes it as a sign to continue. “Your story shows how much you and your group were able to grow through the love and care you fostered. And in your case, their love is enough to a point you were able to remain unbothered by your lackluster love life.”

And it is true—your friends are the reason why you never find yourself lonely in a world that seems to glamorize romantic love. You cannot deny that you still long to experience it, but your friends have shown you love that is more than enough.

“Yeah, I think I can write about that. I realize how much I love to talk about my friends, so I think writing about them would be nice,” you say as you find yourself slowly nodding. “I think their love has put me in a comfortable spot where I don’t feel the need to constantly seek out the romantic love people always talk about. And even if it would still be nice to experience it, I don’t think I’m in a rush to find it. I experience enough love in my friendships.”

Your editor nods with a smile on his face. “It’s a nice topic, and I really think it would resonate with a lot of people. I think we put so much importance on experiencing romantic love, but I think all forms of love should coexist—one should never have more importance over the other.”

And you nod along with his words. That is what you appreciate about Kevin—he always knew the right words to say and made sure to relate to your sentiments. In your time working under his care, you never once felt misunderstood by him because he listened.

“Is it weird to say that I have learned about love through them?” When the question leaves your mouth, he shakes his head. “I guess because I have never gone on dates or experienced that high school romance then, everything I know about love is because of what they showed me.”

He cannot help but smile. “I think it’s nice that they taught you so much about love by showering you with it. And in your story, they don’t give you too much love that makes it suffocating.”

Kevin is right. Through your friendships, there have never been any notable instances where the love you receive from Changmin, Sunwoo, and Chanhee reached a point of toxic levels. Despite the codependency issue that only revealed itself when your best friend moved away for university, the love that they have shown you throughout the years is nothing but pure—one that comes in the form of supporting each person’s independence while fostering an environment of vulnerability.

“You really do love your friends,” your editor quietly points out.

You find yourself nodding with a smile on your face. “I appreciate those three because they’re my reasons to keep on going.”

No matter how wounded your knees may get, how tired your eyes may be, or how bruised your heart may get, you always find yourself continuing to go on thanks to them. The love and support they give you is a reason enough for you to continue on such a difficult journey that everyone is bound off to. What makes it all comforting is that you know you are never alone in this expedition called life—you were traveling with your friends after all.

It is 6:23 PM. You find yourself seated on the floor of the dance studio as you attempt to write your papers all while your best friend practices a routine he choreographed for the year-end concert. These were moments you found yourself enjoying—you two would work on your own obligations while still accompanying each other. Not only did it hold you accountable to get work done but it made you feel less lonely.

Your brain was preoccupied with what Kevin told you a few hours ago. There is a lot to consider—both when it comes to your opinion piece and the Features editor position. Are you capable of writing such a personal piece that everyone could still enjoy reading? Could you even handle the responsibilities that come with being an editor? Did you have it within yourself to balance your priorities?

With all these thoughts, you cannot help but let out a frustrated sigh. Your opened document is filled with nonsensical phrases and unfinished thoughts. Clearly, you were not in the headspace to work.

Your eyes leave your laptop screen and land on Changmin who goes through his routine slowly, trying to perfect every move. Every time you watch him dance, your heart aches—a type of ache that can only be described as how proud you are of your best friend. The passion he emits is almost like the one you were first introduced to by Sunwoo when it came to soccer.

As if he feels your eyes on him, his eyes drift away from his reflection in the mirror towards you. He notices the frown that rests on your eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” A laugh follows his question.

“I cannot get any work done,” you say with a sigh. “I feel like I’m so out of it and it’s still so early in the day.”

Your best friend rolls his eyes as he walks to you. He crouches in front of you and says, “It’s 6 PM; it is not that early. Plus, didn’t you come from a meeting with Kevin?”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at him. Painfully aware of your newfound (or pushed down for years) feelings, you cannot help but feel conscious around him at times. Being under his stare made your insides mush together.

“Yeah,” you whisper out. You clear your throat as your eyes look back down at the screen. “It was a weird meeting if I’m going to be honest.”

In your peripheral vision, you can see him tilt his face to the side. You expect him to ask you about it. But when his hands grab onto your laptop, you look up with a frown. “Hey!” He sets it aside before standing up.

With his hand out for you to reach, he says, “Come on, I think you need to take a break.” Your frown remains on your face as you grab onto his hand, tugging on it so that you can stand up. He keeps your hand in his as he drags you to where he was practicing.

The two of you stand in front of a mirror. Once he lets go of your hand, he smiles at you by staring at your reflection. “You know, all the years we’ve been friends and I’ve never seen you dance.” The moment he says this has you almost bolting away. And before you could do so, he grabbed onto your arm.

“Changmin! I am not going to dance in front of you—let alone with you,” you exclaim as the boy keeps you in place. In contrast to your frown, your best friend grins as he moves to stand behind you, his hands now holding onto your forearms.

He peeks from your shoulder and says, “It’ll be fun! And I’ll be guiding you through it.” You only glare at him through the mirror. “C’mon! I won’t judge you at all.”

“Oh, be so for real! I’ve danced in front of Sunwoo before and he couldn’t keep a straight face. What makes you think you won’t laugh?”

He gasps. “See, now you need to let me see you dance!” The whine you let out does not do anything to stop his insistence. “When did you even dance in front of him?”

“I’m pretty sure he walked in on me trying to do a Wonder Girls choreo.” You roll your eyes at the memory. “I am never doing that again.”

“What choreo?” He asks as he sets his chin on your shoulder. “Is it “Tell Me”?” As soon as you nod, he gasps. “That’s easy! I’m sure I can teach you right now.”

“I am not doing that! I’m too shy.”

He chuckles as he raises his chin from your shoulder. “It’s just me—there’s no need to be shy around me.” His words make your knees weak. Something about this moment has you shrinking; his hands on your forearms; the attention on you; the distance between you two.

But something about this shared moment also has your heartstrings tugging; his grin that can light up any room; his playful tone that shows how excited he is; and his determination to get your mind off what is bothering you. You almost cannot help but show a small smile. And with a sigh, you end up nodding at his request.

The two of you spend your time going through the choreography of that song, specifically the pre-chorus and chorus, with Changmin having to show and help you in every move. Although you notice the smile on his lips every time you make an awkward move, he never once burst into laughter—just occasional chuckles. And surprisingly, you enjoyed learning it under his care.

Now, you two sat on the floor. As your best friend takes a break from dancing, your eyes stare into the opened document for one of your classes. Once you attempt to write, you can feel yourself being hit with anxieties that kept you from working in the first place.

You hate being under the spotlight. Most of the time, you find yourself uncomfortable with receiving too much attention. That is why when you found Features writing, it felt perfect for you. The hobby-turned-possible-career keeps you comfortable because you can write about people’s narratives—ones worth sharing with the world. So when you now have to consider representing a staff and being part of the faces of the editorial board, you can feel all eyes on you.

At this point, you are frustrated with your inability to get work done. The sigh you let out as you type away some gibberish has your best friend looking at you with concerned eyes. But before he could say anything, you looked away from your laptop to stare at him. When you see his worried expression, you cannot help but show him a bittersweet smile.

“I don’t know what to do,” you start. Silence settles between you two for a moment, and you realize that he is giving you time to continue. “I–fuck,” you trip over your words. A chuckle leaves your mouth as you turn your head back to face your laptop. You take a moment to breathe, collecting your thoughts.

“Kevin wants me to consider running for the Features editor position.” When you do not hear your best friend interject, you decide to continue. “He actually asked me last year to consider in the case he decides to not renew his position as editor. But now that he’s going to graduate, he brought it up again. He says it would be a good opportunity for me to get a feel of the higher stakes in this field, and that it would help me consider if I will pursue journalism as a career.”

You let out a sigh before taking a look at the boy who sits beside you. “I first told him no. I think I still need to learn more about being a writer, but he says that the growth I seek comes from applying for higher positions.” You bite the inside of your cheek.

“Changmin, I don’t think I’m ready for such responsibilities. You know how much I hate being put under the spotlight, so being an editor would mean I represent my staff and become a face that people link with the publication.” After saying those words, you rip your gaze away from your best friend and stare up at the ceiling. “And what happens if I’m not a good editor to begin with? Being a writer is entirely different from being an editor.”

You feel his hand reach out to yours, holding it and drawing circles at the back of your hand with his thumb. The action makes you close your eyes. Although you do not crave physical touch, something about Changmin doing it to you has you wanting more—maybe it is because you know it as his love language.

“And I think a part of me is scared to become an editor and learning that I hate it after all.” Your eyes open before you turn your head back to him whose eyes are still filled with concern. “Don’t you ever get scared that what you enjoy doing now can be something you grow resentful of?”

When you have gone on with your life with one hobby you have invested so much time in, it seems impossible to ever imagine a future without it. That is what you feel when it comes to writing—a craft that you feel yourself enjoying while still being challenged. But you can almost feel the hands of fear consume you when you imagine the ‘what-ifs’ that come with taking up a position that is different from your usual.

And from how unfamiliar it is, anxiety fills you. Who can say you would be a good editor? What would happen if you fail to keep up with your duties? Is there a reality where you will be burnt out from Features writing?

But when you see your best friend flash you a comforting smile, it feels easier to let such questions go. “Of course, I feel scared,” he starts off. He rips his gaze away from you and stares off into nowhere. “I remember when I first applied for university, choosing a course was the hardest decision for me. I was forced to think of how I wanted my future to turn out because I thought my course dictated the career I ended up in.”

It is true. You remember the first time Changmin was applying to different universities. Without a clear vision of what he wanted to do in the future, he struggled to decide on a list of courses. During that period, you and Sunwoo could only do so much to help him out. But at the end of it all, he appreciates you two for listening to him when he needed it.

“You already know that I had different first-choice courses for the universities I applied for. My list of courses per college was different as well.” He brings your linked hands to his lap and looks down at it. “And I can remember how confused my parents were by that, but I just cared about what I found myself enjoying.” He lets out a sigh before laughing, “I don’t know if it was the smartest decision on my end.”

You cannot help but chuckle along with him. “Even I questioned your decisions,” you admit. Your best friend shakes his head before looking at you. “I think from my perspective, it looked like you didn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, and I really didn’t,” he tells you. “I mean, the difference between you and me is that while you found yourself set on journalism and just general communication tracks, I was still figuring out what I wanted to do in the future.”

You bite the inside of your cheek as he reveals that to you. It is not like he shared with you new information for you both were aware of it. And it is not your fault that you felt more confident in what the future had in store for you as a 1st-year in high school versus your best friend who is a 3rd-year. The reality is that Changmin was envious of you—you felt so sure of yourself in your hobby. In contrast to you, he could never consider dance as a possible career to pursue.

When he sees the slight shift in your expression, he shows you a small smile. “It’s not your fault. It’s just me being unsure of what I wanted to do.” He takes a moment to recollect his thoughts. “But really, I chose my courses based on how much I enjoyed or found myself interested in them. And I found myself here.” He lets his eyes drift back down to his hand that holds yours.

“Oddly enough, I don’t see myself in any other course. No matter how much I questioned what I was doing in Early Childhood Education, I also found myself entertaining the idea of how nice it would be to explore the careers that come out of it.” He smiles to himself and says, “And I only figured out by my second year that I don’t have to pursue careers like counselor or teacher. I could still do jobs like HR or anything related to science if I wanted to.”

His eyes then drift back towards you. “It will always be a struggle, you know? You’ll never be sure if what you first thought entering university is something you’ll end up pursuing in the end. For me, I came here with an unclear vision of what I wanted to do as a career. And although I still wish I could do photography or dance, I’m actually really happy with being a preschool teacher in the end.”

You cannot help but smile at him. “I’m happy for you. You know that, right?” When the question leaves your mouth, he nods.

“Of course, I do. You never fail to remind me that,” he says. “I may not know where you entirely come from, but I understand the fear. I mean, even I feel like that with dance. But I think all that matters is that I enjoy it now.”

For a moment, silence settles on you two. Your brain is rattled with thoughts of whether or not you are capable of being an editor. But before you can say anything, your best friend interjects. “I think it’s worth giving it a shot, you know? That editor position that Kevin brought up to you.”

You cannot help but show a small frown. “I get that you’re scared to take up the responsibility of being one, but I think the experience really is something else. After all, you’re still in university—it’s the perfect time to take these positions up and explore.” You feel the frown leave your face as he shares that advice. “And you won’t be carrying the burden alone. You have the other editors to rely on.”

He shoots you a smile and says, “You are a talented writer, to begin with—I’m sure that you’ll do great as an editor. After all, I always root for you and your success.” And his words have your heart melting.

Your eyes drift down to your linked hands. Somehow, Changmin knew the ways to comfort you. Although he may not have the answer you seek at all times, he still did his best to listen and connect with you. And every day, you are thankful for him—he eases your anxieties while still building you up.

“Thank you,” you whisper out before looking back up to him. “I think I owe everything to you.”

Your best friend shakes his head and says, “You don’t owe me anything. What are you even saying?” He chuckles as he brings your linked hands closer to him, making you fall on his side. With that, your head rests on his shoulder. “We’re friends—I’d do anything for you willingly.”

The sentence may sound sad, being referred to as a friend by your crush. But the reality is that it fills you with warmth. Because no matter what feelings you harbor for him, the love he shows you is like no other. You can only hope it stays this way.

The weeks have passed since you last had your conversation with Kevin. Somehow, your topic got approved by the rest of the editorial board—it seemed like what you are writing about is relevant after all. Thankfully, you have until the start of editorial board application season to submit the finished opinion piece. You decided against letting your friend group know about your involvement in writing an opinion article just so you could surprise them.

Now, you and Jacob were officially in the last stages of wrapping up your last article with him. It is sad to know that after this, there would be no more pieces to be written with the 5th-year. It is funny to remember how much you wanted to work with him during your first year, so to finally finish up your last article with him is bittersweet.

“I can’t believe this is our last article where our bylines will be beside each other,” you say as you let your eyes drift from your laptop to the boy who sits across from you.

Jacob lets out a half-hearted chuckle. “I know, I can’t believe time has been moving so fast.”

It did feel weird that time suddenly trickles down faster when you find yourself enjoying the moments life presents you. You wish you could control it all—freeze the periods you wish to keep while fast-forwarding ones you hate to go through. But what makes these moments precious is that they do not last forever.

“Have you figured out your opinion piece article?”

You show him a small smile once you add the final touches to the article you two worked on. “Yeah, I’m going to write about my friends.” Jacob cannot help but let out an “awe” at your reveal.

You chuckle before saying, “I have gone through my life not being able to experience the joys of romance in my high school, and it bothered me at first. Back then, I used to think I was undesirable or that I was made only to work.” Then you cannot help but smile to yourself as your eyes drift back down to the laptop screen. “But I think my friends have shown me love greater than what I could ever imagine. I’m okay if I never get to go on multiple dates or bring butterflies to someone’s stomach. Right now, I’m comfortable just where I am.”

As you say those words, your brain cannot help but drift to the thought of Changmin, your best friend whom you love. You would think that such a word is reserved for later stages in a relationship, but the reality is that you always will love him—even if he may remain your best friend.

So you look back up to Jacob and say, “And I think that if life decides to bring that change to me, I’ll gladly accept it.”

The boy who sits across you nods at your words, a small smile on his lips. “Can I ask you something personal?”

You cannot help but frown for a moment. “Sure,” you say as you tilt your head to the side.

“It’s Changmin, right?” Your frown gets deeper, more confused than ever. “He’s the one you love?” As soon as he says those words, your eyes widen.

“How did you figure that out?”

He shakes his head and says, “I think it’s obvious to everyone.” You cannot help but pout at him. “I mean, I can see that Sunwoo and Chanhee have taught you love in their own ways. But I think that Changmin has shown you one that can never be forgotten.”

And your heart cannot help but ache at his words because he is right. In your years growing up, every act that Changmin has done for you is out of genuine care for your wellbeing. No matter all the times he may tease you, he always looks out for you even if you do not ask. At the same time, he supports you in your endeavors even if you may not have experience. And most importantly, he hears you out the most.

Your relationship with him is built out of genuine care for each other. What started as just having a mutual friend turned into workmates and eventually led you two to become friends. And in your years of being friends with him, all he has done is show you love. You may never be able to trace when you two started to cross the boundaries of friendship, but all that matters is that you have each other.

So you whisper out the words, “Yeah, it’s him.” You bite the inside of your cheek. “Is it wrong to be in love with him?” You do not miss the way Jacob frowns. “I mean, I was scared that I was mistaking platonic love for him as a romantic one, you know? You mentioned before how hard it can be to distinguish that.”

His frown leaves his face. As he shakes his head, he shows you a smile. “You know, you two have so much love and care for each other. And funnily enough, there are some romantic relationships I know that do not compare to what I’ve seen between you two.” As he says those words, you feel your heartstrings tug. “I guess the only thing I can ask is this: Is what you feel for Changmin different from what you feel towards Sunwoo and Chanhee?”

It is the same question Sunwoo asked you when you brought it up to him. After your conversations with Chanhee and Kevin (and your ongoing one with Jacob), you expect your answer to change. But the reality is that your answer remains the same. So when you nod, Jacob nods along.

“Then what others say doesn’t matter. At the end of it all, what you two have is special.”

You cannot help but show him a bittersweet smile. It feels almost wrong to share this with him after breaking things off with him. But you like to think that over the weeks, you and Jacob have managed to move past that.

Before you know it, Jacob lets out a sigh. “I think that’s it for this article. We’ve addressed all the comments from the editor-in-chief.” And just like that, you cannot help but feel heartache.

The finale has officially come. You did not want it to end, and the boy who sits across you can see it from your expression. “You know, Y/N, we’re still friends. Just because we aren’t working together means that we have to stop spending time together.” You cannot help but pout. “Plus, you might end up interning at the place I work at—that’s if you still decide to pursue journalism.”

You cannot help but chuckle. “Yeah, that’s true.”

For a moment, silence settles between you two. As you two sit, you cannot help but let your mind drift back to when you first joined the publication. At first glance, you found yourself crushing on Jacob. And after reading his articles, you remember how much you wished to work with him. Oh, how you wish you could tell your past self that most of their dreams came true.

With that, you let out a sigh. “I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve always wanted to work with you. It wasn’t entirely because I had a crush on you but I just loved the articles you put out.”

He shows you that grin—the same one you first found yourself melting at. Now, it is just a sight that you allow yourself to smile at. “I’m really glad I got to work with you. Even if it happened in my last year, I think you’ll be one of my memorable writing partners.” You cannot help but grin back at him. “Even for just some articles, I’m glad we had our bylines beside each other.”

The funny thing is that you are glad that your crush on him sort of brought you closer to him. If it were not for Sunwoo telling your editor about your crush on the 5th-year, you may not have ever received the opportunity to work with him. You learned more about the boy you admired from afar during your time working with him. And somehow, it resulted in him harboring similar feelings towards you. Although you two only got one date from it all, you are glad to still have each other.

A month has passed, and the broadsheets have started circulating in the university. To your surprise, the article you and Jacob worked on women’s sexuality ended up on the cover. You were happy to see that such a narrative would reach many people.

Since you two wrapped up your article on drag queens, there was not enough time to see each other. It was to be expected, of course—the different obligations and schedules prevented you two from hanging out. Nevertheless, you and Jacob would occasionally text each other whether it would be to complain about the progress of your opinion pieces or to share anything new happening on campus.

Talking about opinion pieces, you and Jacob submitted them on time. You two consulted each other non-stop, asking to read each other’s works and make any necessary edits or comments. The works that seemed like absolute garbage during the early stages turned into beautiful emotionally-charged ones. And you were glad that Jacob would trust you to read his piece in its unedited form.

To learn about his struggles to find his place both in Korea and Canada. Despite being born in Canada, he was always faced with racist remarks and microaggressions. So you would think that moving to Korea would give him the liberation of finally finding his place in the world. And yet, his growing up in a Westernized context made it all more difficult for him to connect with his classmates.

Having to be treated as an “outsider” no matter where he goes destroyed him. Like a wall being smashed by a sledgehammer; a glass being smacked off the table and shattering as it hits the ground; a rubber band being pulled until it snaps. For Jacob, having to go through such as a kid can only ruin him.

But in the middle of it all, he met Kevin. Whether it would be in the lunches they shared or talking about nothing, Kevin allowed him to take up space in a world that seemed to not have a spot for him. Whenever the boy found himself in the dark, he knew that all he needed to look for was the moon.

“I’m happy to see your byline on the cover page,” Chanhee says as he looks through the broadsheet. The two of you walk out of a building, slowly making your way to where you parked your car. “I think it might be one of my favorite articles from you and Jacob.”

You cannot help but shoot a smile at your best friend. “Thanks.”

As you two slowly pass by the athletics center, you cannot help but let your stare linger at the building. You knew that Sunwoo and Changmin were practicing for the year-end concert happening three weeks from now all while you were busying yourself with the editor application process.

It feels weird that the school year is coming to an end. Almost a month and a half left and Chanhee and Changmin will graduate while you and Sunwoo go on to the next year. At first, you did feel the anxiety start to bubble within you. What did the future have in store for you four? Would the different priorities rip you guys away?

But the reality is that you will never know, and there will never be a way to find out. And somehow, you cannot help but cherish whatever time you have left with them now. All that matters is that you still have each other now.

“Hey, I need to go to the dance studio.” You whip your head from the building to your best friend. “I said I could lend a hand in filming and taking pictures for documentary purposes,” he says with a small smile.

You shake your head and say, “It’s okay.” Your eyes look at the broadsheet Chanhee still holds. “I should say this now but you should check out the opinions section.”

With furrowed eyebrows, he flips through the pages until he reaches that portion. His eyes skim through the page until it lands on your byline. And just like that, you notice his expression shift into one of shock. “Oh my god, you ended up putting out an opinion piece?! I thought you decided against it,” he exclaims.

You show him a small smile despite his eyes still trained on the paper. “I decided against telling you and the others. I wanted to surprise you since it’s about you three.” As soon as you reveal that, you notice the way Chanhee pouts as he continues to read your article. “Oh my god, don’t read it in front of me!”

Chanhee giggles as he lets his eyes finally meet yours. “Did you know that this might be the sweetest thing anyone has done for me?”

“I know, it’s me after all,” you joke as you shrug your shoulders. And just like that, he cannot help but glare at you.

“This was supposed to be a sweet moment but you always seem to ruin it with your stupid comments.”

You let out a laugh as you smack your best friend’s arm. “I know, but I hope you enjoy reading it.”

His glare shifts back to a look full of adoration. And with that, he says, “I know that we always tell you that we’ll love whatever you write about, but this one might be my favorite. I can’t believe you think we’re worthy enough to be written about.” He wraps his arm around your shoulder and brings you into a side hug. “I’m excited to read it.”

You wrap your arm around his waist in an attempt to reciprocate the action. “I would write thousands of stories about you guys. I hope you know that.”

If you were given only one topic to forever write about, you would not hesitate to pick your friend group. The reality is that there may not be enough words to truly describe how much love you have for them, but you can only hope that the stories that people have the privilege of reading will show them a love that is unlike any other.

“Okay,” you say as you unwrap your arm from his waist while he does the same from your shoulders. “I’ll see you sometime.”

As you shoot him a grin, Chanhee cannot help but smile back. “Yeah, get home safe, okay? I’ll make sure that we read it by tonight.”

You wave him goodbye before turning around and walking away. As you take your steps leading to the car, you cannot help but feel anxiety slowly bubble within you. Maybe your words would reach out to that one best friend—you can only hope he can read between the lines.

It is 8:34 PM. To Changmin’s surprise, practice ended earlier than expected. Almost everyone has left the dance studio, leaving him and his two best friends. The two were reading the broadsheet as they waited for him to get ready to go home. He got a copy as soon as he saw the stands filled with them.

The sight of your byline on the cover page warmed his heart—he wished he could tell you how proud he is of you in person, but your different schedules prevented him from doing so. Although he knew he could shoot you a message or ring you up, he wanted to hug you and tell you face-to-face.

He wipes away his sweat with a towel that hangs around his neck. As he makes his way to where his two friends sit to grab his jug, he does not miss the way their mouths part open with eyes filled with adoration. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What are you guys reading?” Their eyes snap towards him.

“You need to read this,” Sunwoo finally speaks up as he hands him the broadsheet. Changmin cannot help but still keep his eyebrows furrowed. Once he lets his eyes drift down to the paper, he notices that it is opened to the opinions section. He remains confused as his eyes skim through. That is until he spots your byline.

Followed by the title “Linked arms and bruised hearts,” your byline is positioned below it. His best friends do not miss the way his eyebrows shoot up. All this time, he was under the impression that you did not end up pushing through with writing an opinion piece, so to see that you have written two and a half columns worth had him surprised.

“Did you guys know they wrote an opinion piece?” He asks as his eyes snap back to Chanhee and Sunwoo. As the two shake their heads, he looks back at the broadsheet. He slowly takes a seat on the floor as his eyes remain on your article.

Linked arms and bruised heartsBy Y/N

Meet-cutes; love letters; playlists filled with romantic songs—that is all I know about love. Growing up, all the media I’ve surrounded myself with has shown me what love should be. Movies have taught me that love is grand confessions in front of a crowd of strangers while music has shown that it all comes from throwing stones at windows late at night. And the novels I’ve read are filled with poetic words that you would never hear in casual conversations.

With these media surrounding romance, I was fed with supposed “realistic” scenarios; bumping against someone in hallways and grazing hands with them as they help you pick up items that have dropped to the ground; spilling coffee on someone’s shirt and promising to make up for it through a date; being approached by someone in a bookstore who passionately talks about the book you picked up.

Aside from these storylines, I found my heart in the hands of fictional main leads who utter words of never-ending love. Their flirtatious remarks never fail to make me scream into pillows or cause butterflies to swarm my stomach.

I enjoyed it all because the feeling I got from consuming these brought the utmost joy into my fickle life. Unbeknownst to me, I never knew the consequences that came from these—especially for someone who has never experienced romantic love firsthand.

Never receiving love notes or being asked out on dates took a toll on how I perceived myself. While everyone gets to receive chocolates and flowers, I was left to imagine such a feeling through every possible form of media I can consume. At first, I told myself that I would have my moment—all it takes is time. But further down the long journey, I started to believe that I was put into this world to never experience it.

Having to think I was undesirable at the early stages of my teenage years made me believe that love is a privilege—something that not everyone can receive. The more I let such a mentality persist, the more I started to believe that my only role on Earth was work. With that, I believed that my future would have me waking up to work and going to sleep exhausted—all by myself.

That is until I met three boys who seemingly changed the trajectory of how my future would play out.

Funnily enough, I knew these three during my time chasing romance. These best friends of mine were some of the many to experience the love I desperately craved. You would think that I would hate being stuck in that position—that I would resent them for easily receiving something I longed for. But oddly enough, I was happy to bear witness to all their adventures because they showed me love I have never seen in movies.

As others give chocolates on Valentine’s Day, they would bring me home-cooked meals for no particular occasion. While people received “just because” flowers, I got “just because” playlists for they knew I would cherish them more. But these are only actions that cannot truly capture what they have shown me during the years I never knew of romantic love.

In our friend group, to love is to reestablish one’s independence—each person deserves to take up space in the world. And somehow, these three spent their time building me back up without me noticing. From my perception of being undesirable, I only started to learn how to be comfortable in my skin through the support they continued to shower me with.

Before I knew it, I found myself content with my uneventful love life. At one point, I stopped chasing the romance that artists sing of. It was only later on learned that love spoken of in the media is not always romantic; it can be platonic as well.

The love found in our friendships is not meant to be treated as second to the romantic one we seek. If anything, what we receive in our friendships shows us enough of what love overall should be; understanding of boundaries; shoulders to lean on at any time; and support even if you never ask.

I eventually found myself in a position where I could comfortably say that I was okay with my lackluster love life. The only reason I can say this is because my friends have shown me so much love that I do not need to seek it in other avenues.

I hope that when they read this, they know that I am forever indebted to them. Knowing them, they would say that this is all the bare minimum—that they would do it all without any question. But for someone whose understanding of love was skewered by media, my bruised heart has slowly healed through the care they have shown me throughout the years,

I hope that my future will always have them in it for I can never imagine a world without them. They are the reason why I know of love now—a reason why I choose to keep on going. And I now know that love is not an idea that the media monetizes off of. I exist in a reality where I got to meet my best friends—that is how I know love is real.

I used to think I would forever remain clueless about love, but the reality is that I actually know of it all now. Linking arms as you walk to nowhere; picnic dates in the middle of winter; agreements of sticking together past the age of 30—that is everything I know about love.

Changmin cannot help but feel his mouth part open as he reads your words. His heartstrings tug at your words. To learn that the reason you know of love is due to your group of four made him realize how much he does love you—and not just the platonic form.

For you, he would act as the arms that you can go back to at the end of the day; he would be your morning alarm and make sure you get out of bed in time; he would be everything you need and want because he loves you.

As soon as his eyes move back to his two best friends who can only smile, he realizes that your opinion piece is not only a commemoration of the love you receive from him, Chanhee, and Sunwoo. Rather, it is your way of finally sharing your feelings—ones that you were too afraid to tell him face-to-face.

“I have to go,” he whispers before handing back the broadsheet to the two.

Once he grabs his stuff, he dashes out of the dance studio, leaving Chanhee and Sunwoo all alone. “You think Y/N will have the guts to say it themselves?” Chanhee decides to ask the boy who sits beside him.

For Sunwoo, he would say you could never admit such feelings to your crush. That is why it is a miracle that Jacob was forward with you. But with Changmin, he cannot help but smile to himself.

“Yeah,” he voices out. “If they had the guts to write something like this, then I’m sure they want something with him after all.”

Your place feels duller than usual; the lights look dimmer; the pictures on the wall look less saturated; the air forms goosebumps all over your skin. As you sit in your kitchen with leftover bibimbap from yesterday, you stare at your phone as you eat away at the sad meal. It is not that it tastes bad, but something is preventing you from enjoying the food in front of you.

Hours have passed since you last saw Chanhee. Around this time, Sunwoo and Changmin might be finishing up their practice. The thing is you expect to receive a message at least from one of the three. Yet, your phone remains silent—no notification from them whatsoever.

At this point, you can feel the anxiety start to eat you away—it takes its time to nibble each limb of yours while you do nothing to stop it. There is no way to cease it, though. All you can do is sit and let it do its work. You can only hope that some sign from the universe would do something to keep it at bay.

And just like that, the doorbell rings.

With your mouth full of rice, beef, and stir-fried vegetables, you get off your seat and walk to the door. You take a peek into the peephole only to see the one guy you were terrified to be face-to-face with. You almost think to not open the door; maybe he will give up on waiting and walk away. But when his eyes trail from the floor to stare directly through the peephole, you freeze.

“Y/N? Can we talk?” He asks, almost like he knows you stand at the other side of the door. You wish you could do anything but just stand still. “I want to talk because I think I won’t be able to sleep well tonight if I don’t. But if you don’t want to have that conversation right now, I can wait another day.”

Your heart warms at his words. Even in a moment like this, he still cares about your comfort. Regardless of what you revealed in your opinion piece, he would willingly deal with restless nights if it meant giving you time to muster enough courage to talk about the elephant in the room. But the reality is that waiting for any other day will prolong your suffering.

When you notice Changmin slowly move away from the door, you quickly swing the door open. There he stands with eyes wide from the sudden action. As you swallow down the food in your mouth, you also swallow down your fears. You find yourself taking steps back, eyes still on him as he leaves his shoes outside before entering your place. He shuts the door behind him before dropping everything he carries to the floor but one thing—the broadsheet.

For a moment, you two stand still with no sound leaving any of your mouths. You almost think that you need to start the conversation, but the silence makes it all too difficult to speak.

“Y/N,” he calls out your name at first. You do not miss how his eyes are filled with wonder—one that resembles hope in the face of trouble. “I read it, and I loved it. I love knowing that Sunwoo, Chanhee, and I have shown you all of these.” Then his eyes trail back down to the paper he holds. “But I need to know if there’s something in between the lines or if it’s just me hoping for nothing.”

The way he stands in front of you is more vulnerable than ever, more than when he first approached you when he lost his competition. His shoulders are slumped in anxiety as he continues to look at the broadsheet that is opened to your opinion piece. And as your mouth opens in an attempt to speak, he looks back at you.

Under his stare, you know there is nothing you should worry about. But the reality is that sharing the most intimate parts of yourself with someone will always be difficult—confessing to your best friend will never be as easy as you hope for it to be.

Your mouth snaps close. As you look down to the ground, you bite the inside of your cheek as you think over the right words to say. Your brain rattles for a moment as you try to make a script on the spot. But you realize there is not enough time in the world to figure out what to tell him. And there will never be enough words to capture what you feel towards the boy who stands across from you.

“I used to think I would never have the privilege of receiving love,” you start. “You’ve read about it in that piece that’s in your hands, but it’s only a surface level of all my fears.”

Your eyes now look back up to him. His expression never falters, but it remains as fearful as yours. “I thought I was destined with a lonely future, that the reason why I was never asked out on dates or been confessed to is because there will never be space for another person in my life. So when Jacob started to show some interest in me, I thought it was the universe playing tricks on me.”

You find yourself letting out a small chuckle as you shift your weight from your left foot to the right. “I mean, you’re the one person who knows it the most. I told you that one night in the convenience store and that one time during the winter break.”

“And for a period, I thought that I was comfortable with occasional crushes because I didn’t have to commit to anything. I started to think that uncertainty was my way of sabotaging everything good coming my way, but I realized that it stemmed from my inexperience with love overall.”

You take a deep breath before saying, “But when I saw Hanhee and Byungho that one night where they were cuddling, I realized how nice it would be to just have someone to go back to at the end of a long day—to have a home in a form of a person.” You do not miss the way his eyes slowly start to fill with an emotion you cannot recognize.

“So I thought about who I would love to still see when I’m working, and I can only think about you three. I always find myself wishing that time will treat us well. I want us to remain together no matter what stage we are in our lives. And never once will I ever find myself trading our group for anything else—even for a shot in romance.” As you say those words, you notice a small smile that forms on his lips.

Because it is true—why would you trade years of genuine love and care for something that you do not know about? Why would you give up something so pure for something uncertain? And you know that love for others means taking risks, whether calculated or out of genuine impulse. And you would never consider yourself a risk taker. But you find yourself making an exception to do it just this once—one for your best friend.

“I love Sunwoo and Chanhee more than anything in the world,” you say. And now, you find yourself more scared than ever to admit the next sentence. You can hear your heartbeat out of your chest as you two stand in silence. But even if the boy across from you is dying to hear the next words, he never pushes you to say it if you are not ready.

You cannot help but smile at him. “But with you, Changmin,” you manage to choke out despite the anxiety that bubbles within you. “I wish that you will continue to link arms with me because I have found myself growing fond of it; I want you to continue accompanying me as we work on different tasks; I hope that after every day, whether boring or tiring, I can go back to you.”

And with your next words, he cannot help but feel all resolve crumble. “I think that you are the home I want to go back to.” You let your eyes flicker back down to the paper that he holds. “I found myself hoping that we’re both single when I turn 30 just so that I have more of an excuse to want you in my home.”

“And even though I have learned of love through you three, I want to experience the one I desire with you.” You let yourself smile as you look back up to him. “I hope that you will reserve enough love just for me as I already have for you.”

The next thing you know, Changmin drops the broadsheet to the ground. As he makes his way closer to you, you can feel your heart beat out of your chest. The distance between you two grows smaller. And when his face is inches away from yours, your breath hitches.

You notice the moles found on his face—one under his lip and another that rests on the bridge of his nose. His hair is a little messy from practice, with some strands slightly up. And his eyes are now filled with an emotion you cannot figure out.

You want to beg him to say something—anything, really. But when his hands reach out to grab hold of your face, all thoughts are knocked out.

His eyes flicker down to your lips before going back right to your eyes. “I will always want to be that home for you,” he whispers. “I always saw you as a place of solace for me, but I hope I can become that for you forever.” And he smiles at you before saying, “I have so much love stored in me that's made just for you.”

Before you know it, you find yourself closing the distance between you two. With eyes closed, you place your lips on his. The kiss is everything comforting and vulnerable—almost like how you would describe your relationship with him. His hands remain holding your face, his thumb occasionally sweeping across your cheek.

The warmth that fills your body is like no other—as if the sun has emerged within you. His hands on your cheeks remind you of all the seasons you have spent with him. Whether in summer or winter, he will always hold you because he loves you. And it is only starting to sink that he does love you—that he has so much love within him just to give to you.

He does not attempt to deepen it, fully aware that all of these are foreign waters. So when you find yourself parting from the kiss in an attempt to catch your breath, his eyes are full of concern.

He is about to ask you something until you beat him to it. “Was that right?” As you whisper the question out, he cannot help but feel his heartstrings tug. He finds himself smiling while your eyes remain wide with curiosity. “Oh god, I just realized I kissed you without brushing my teeth!” Your exclaim does nothing but make him laugh.

“Don’t worry about what’s right. Just let me take the lead,” he says. “And I’d kiss you anytime, even after you’ve eaten or brushed your teeth.” You cannot help but smile, a giggle leaving your mouth.

The thing about Changmin is that he knows you inside out, from how you worry about everything to your fear of being vulnerable in front of anyone. But he knows how to support you—to tell you when to rest and to build a space where you do not have to be afraid to share your deepest sentiments.

Although the love you two first shared came from a place of platonic nature, it slowly shifted without you two noticing. And while everyone seemed to comment that what you two have seems to teeter between the boundary of platonic and romance, you never allowed their words to truly sway what you thought about your relationship. To you and Changmin, all that matters is what you decide on.

Your home is livelier than ever; the lights shine brighter than usual; the pictures on the wall are full of color; you find yourself warm despite the cold air. As soon as his arms wrap around you, you can feel your heart soar to heights that have never been imagined. You allow yourself to snuggle closer to him, having your face rest in the crook between his neck and shoulder. All that can be said is that you both are happy. You love each other—both platonically and romantically.

“When does this graduation end?” Sunwoo complains beside you as he lets himself melt in the chair. “If I knew this would take forever, I would have eaten something heavy for breakfast.”

You roll your eyes. “Everyone told you it would take long. That’s on you now.”

The boy scowls at you before saying, “Yeah, yeah. You’re only not complaining because you get to see your stupid boyfriend on stage.” You gasp as he says those words. “I said what I said!”

“That boyfriend you’re referring to is your best friend, by the way! And we’re here to support our other friends.”

“Yeah, no one cares. Don’t forget that I was your best friend first, so you need to take my side if we end up fighting.” From his response, you roll your eyes. You knew that Sunwoo was only joking around, saying nonsense just to pass the time.

It is 3:23 PM, and you two are seated by the bleachers as you wait for the graduation ceremony to end. From the people graduating, you two were able to recognize many faces that you would have to say goodbye to—Juyeon to name a memorable face.

“I’m just saying that I can’t believe they won’t let us sit with the Ji family. I mean, we’re practically part of them! And since you’re dating him, you’re basically an in-law.” Sunwoo’s attempt to justify his disbelief towards the situation has you chuckling.

Before you can comment, the person who stands by the lectern announces a familiar name. “Choi Chanhee; bachelor of arts degree in Photography; Magna Cum Laude.” As your best friend makes his way to the middle of the stage, you and Sunwoo get off your seats.

“Go, Chanhee!” You find yourself cheering as loud as you can.

“Chanhee-ah, you’re so cool!” The boy beside you shouts out loud in an attempt to embarrass your best friend (while embarrassing you both in the process). You notice Chanhee’s attempts to hold back his laugh as he grabs his diploma. He clearly heard your cheers all the way from the bleachers.

Once he bowed and made his way off the stage, you and Sunwoo fell back down to your seats. “Well, we succeeded in embarrassing Chanhee,” you say, which earns a laugh from your best friend.

You let out a sigh before going back to the topic. “I am not an in-law. I mean, Changmin and I only became official like a month and a half ago!” When you look at your best friend, he only stares at you in disbelief.

“Y/N, his family loves you—always have and always will. I think they’re just waiting for him to put a ring on your finger.” You laugh in disbelief.

“Moon Hyungseo; bachelor of arts degree in Psychology; renowned Features editor for two academic years; Magna Cum Laude.” With that, your conversation gets cut short. As your old editor makes his appearance, you two get off your seats and cheer him on.

“Go, Kevin hyung!” Sunwoo cheers beside you. Although Kevin may not be able to hear you guys, you know that he would still appreciate your cheers. As soon as he makes his way off the stage, you two fall back down to your chairs.

You look at your best friend and say, “Again, I just started dating Changmin. We haven’t discussed marriage at all because we are too young to begin with.” You go back to looking at the stage as more unfamiliar faces get their diplomas. “A lot of this is still new to me, you know? So I still find myself kind of nervous about this whole setup.”

The boy beside you hums. “I mean, it’s valid for you to be nervous. You two were friends before officially being together. And I know it’s still new for you, but it is for him also.” You cannot help but look back at him. “I mean, he’s only gone on dates and had one relationship back in high school. I’m sure he’s just as nervous as you are.” Your attention goes back to the stage.

Sunwoo is right—you and Changmin barely had enough knowledge of what comes out of a romantic relationship, but both of you can recognize that your dynamic did slightly change. Most actions that you two did while you were still friends remained; linking arms; occasional banter; and sitting in comfortable silence.

However, with the new nature of your relationship, you started to notice that your boyfriend has gone out of his way to spend more time with you whenever possible. Aside from that, he would buy you two meals to share for every dinner, making sure that you ate the right amount of food. Of course, you would find yourself kissing him more—sometimes leading to more heated make-out sessions thanks to him. But for the most part, you were happy with what you have with him now.

Before you can say anything, the emcee calls out, “Jacob Bae; bachelor of arts degree in Korean Language and Literature; Summa Cum Laude.” The two of you two stand up once more from your seats. As you watch Jacob make his way to the dean, you cannot help but cheer him on as he grabs his diploma.

“Go, Jacob!” Your shout is loud, reaching its way to the boy who is on stage. He scans the crowd until his eyes land on you and Sunwoo. At the sight of you two clapping, he cannot help but smile back before bowing and making his way off the stage.

Once you two sit back down, you cannot help but let out a small sigh. “I think it’s still surreal that I’m with Changmin, you know?” You voice out your concerns to your best friend. “I mean, I never once imagined myself being with my best friend.”

In your peripheral vision, you see the way Sunwoo nods. “I still can’t believe my two childhood besties are together. Like, you’re going to make me third-wheel every time Chanhee is not with us.” You roll your eyes as you smack his arm. He lets out a chuckle at your reaction. “But if I’m going to be honest, I’m glad that you two have each other.”

You smile at his words as your eyes remain on the stage. “Lee Jaehyun; bachelor of arts degree in Archaeology; Magna Cum Laude.” As soon as the emcee calls out the name, you spot Hyunjae making his way to the middle of the stage. You and Sunwoo get off your seats to cheer him on, but you cannot help but remember your conversation with Chanhee.

“Yeah, Hyunjae hyung and I are just friends,” Chanhee says as he scrolls through the photos on his camera.

Your friend group is seated by your hideout. While Chanhee assesses his photos, Sunwoo is busy animating his final project. You are also writing one of your final papers for class all while Changmin is adding some final edits to his thesis paper. Although you two were working, your boyfriend could not help but keep his hand on your thigh—not in an attempt to arouse you but just to hold you out of pure comfort.

“Really? How come?” You decide to ask as you rip your eyes away from the screen.

Chanhee looks away from his camera to look at you. “I’ve mentioned this already to Changmin, but I think we’re just friends. We did like each other at first, but the dates we went on made us realize that maybe it’s better to keep it platonic.” You only hum as you stare at the boy who sits across from you. “Hyunjae also admitted that he still has something complicated with his ex.”

Sunwoo clicks his tongue. “Kim Younghoon, right? The culinary student?” Chanhee nods at his words. “Yeah, I think I heard about that before. I didn’t know they would get back together.”

Chanhee can only shrug. “I mean, I don’t know what will happen between the two. And if Hyunjae and I ever decide to revisit the idea of dating, I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” he finds himself admitting. “But now, I’m okay with where I am now. I’m happy with the love I receive from you guys.” As he says those words, you cannot help but smile. You knew he was referencing your opinion piece.

“Honestly, me too,” Sunwoo chimes in with eyes remaining on his tablet as he draws away. “I hate to flatter Y/N once more, but I think that opinion piece did make me realize how okay I am with being single. And it’s not like I’ll give up on romantic love entirely, but I’m comfortable waiting it out.”

You pout at your best friend’s words before saying, “Thanks guys, I mean it.”

“Of course, it means a lot that you wrote about us. Even if it was your attempt to confess to Changmin, we’ll still take it,” Chanhee says, only making your boyfriend giggle. “How ironic that you talked about being okay with platonic love while your main goal was to get with Changmin after all.” You know your best friend says it sarcastically, but you want to be clear with your point.

“Hey! The main goal of the piece was really to talk about how fulfilled I feel from the love that comes from you guys. Aren’t you guys happy that I don’t use romantic love as my basis for self-worth anymore?”

“Of course we’re happy. I mean, that’s all we want for you,” Changmin says as he looks at you. “We never wanted you to think you’re worth any less just because you never got love notes or chocolates from admirers.” He takes a look at his two other best friends. “I think we all had this silent agreement to help in rebuilding your self-esteem. I think all of us wanted to make sure that everyone can be comfortable independently while still having shoulders to lean on for support.”

As he says those words, you cannot help but nod along with him. In your group, the one thing you all care about the most is boosting each other’s self-esteem. The reality is that it is hard to reestablish that sense of independence and self-worth all by yourself. That is why friends play an important role as they support you, whether through cheering you on in certain endeavors or just in general reassurance.

“Yeah, I think that I never really found myself being confident in my skills in photography and video editing until I met you three. I mean, it pushed me to make that documentary for the K-Pop student idols coverage,” Chanhee says with a smile. “Thank you for bringing me to your group.”

Sunwoo smiles at his best friend who sits beside him and says, “I don’t know if we ever told you, but our group never felt complete until you came into the picture. You helped to get that ball rolling—finding ways to help us find happiness in being independent. And along the journey, you reminded us of the importance of leaning on each other.” You notice the way Chanhee pouts at his words. “I hope you know how much we appreciate you for looking out for us.”

Before you know it, tears stream down Chanhee’s cheeks. “Guys, I can’t believe you’re making me cry right now.” You and Changmin stand up from your seats, grabbing onto your boyfriend’s hand as you two make your way to the other side of the picnic table. Sunwoo has already scooted closer to Chanhee, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. With that, you and Changmin hug your best friend who cannot help but cry from all the love he receives.

“I love you, Chanhee,” you whisper into his hair. You let your chin rest on his head as you look at Sunwoo and Changmin. “And I love you both. Thank you for teaching me what it means to love and to be loved.”

You cannot help but smile at the memory. The love felt in your friend group never fails to tug on your heartstrings. The reality is that you were lucky to have them—not everyone has the privilege of being friends with the three. Although you like to call them your demons who never fail to rile you up or press your buttons, you know that the love they shower you with will be greater than whatever anyone can show you.

As soon as Hyunjae makes his way off the stage, you and Sunwoo go back to sitting down. “Do you think Changmin and I will end up like Chanhee and Hyunjae?” You decide to finally ask. A part of you fears that what you two have is a mistake—that you both mistook whatever feelings you harbor for each other.

But Sunwoo always finds a way to reassure you while telling you the truth. “We’ll never know for sure because only time can tell what’s in store for you two.” You find yourself nodding at his words. “But for me, I think what you have with Changmin is special. I don’t think anything can compare to what you two have.”

You find yourself smiling at his words before looking at him. “I love you, Sunwoo. You know that, right?” He looks back at you with a small smile before nodding.

“I love you, too. I have always known that since our first days being seatmates in grade school. I knew that the universe brought us together for a reason, and I’m glad that I will always have you in my life.” From his words, you cannot help but lean your head on his shoulder. As he wraps his arm around your shoulders, you watch more unfamiliar faces come and go.

As soon as many unfamiliar students grabbed their diplomas, you notice that they have finally started to call students with special awards. And the emcee’s next words make you smile. “Now, to formally award the student with the most outstanding graduate thesis, we hereby present Ji Changmin; bachelor of science degree in Early Childhood Education; Summa Cum Laude.” As soon as they call out your boyfriend’s name, you and Sunwoo immediately get off your seats and cheer your hearts out.

The sight of Changmin walking up to the middle of the stage with a smile pulls at your heartstrings—you are proud of everything that he does. He always finds ways to continuously prove himself, and you hope he knows that everyone recognizes his efforts. And more than that, you hope that he sees that these achievements are only a fraction of who he is. Changmin is more than just awards—he is everything good found in this world.

“Changmin-ah! I love you!” You find yourself shouting out loud. Despite wanting to stay out of the spotlight on most occasions, there is no sense of shame within you as you cheer those words out. You want the world to know that you would gladly be under the light if it meant showing your support for the boy who you love.

Your shout is loud as it reaches all the way to Changmin. His eyes flicker towards you, and his smile gets bigger at the sight of you. He raises his pinky out towards you—a promise that all he does will be for you and himself. And you find yourself doing the same, promising him that all you want is for both of you to succeed with each other’s support.

“I can’t believe it’s only going to be me and Sunwoo.” The four of you are by your hideout, sitting on the picnic table for one last time as a complete group. You find yourself leaning your head on Changmin’s shoulder with arms still linked with each other. “I can’t keep being stuck with that loser!” Your eyes rest on the boy you have known for more than twelve years.

Sunwoo glares at you. “Yah! You think I like being stuck with you?” As you two make faces at each other, you can feel Changmin’s shoulders shake from his chuckle.

“Did you bring the multi-tool?” Chanhee finally asks his best friend who sits beside him. Once Sunwoo hands it to him, he smiles at you three. “What shall we carve on this little table of ours?”

“Why don’t you just carve our initials? It’s simple,” you suggest, only to earn groans from a particular someone you seem to be stuck with.

“Boring! Think of something fun, you know?” Sunwoo’s response only has you rolling your eyes. “What about a diamond? You know, because it has four sides and we’re four people.”

Chanhee cannot help but scowl at him. “Even worse than what Y/N suggested.” Sunwoo only frowns at him. “What about you, Changmin? Any ideas?”

For a moment, he hums as he thinks of anything possible to carve. You almost start to think he has no suggestions with how long his hum lasts. That is until he suggests a symbol perfect to describe your four.

“What about a bandaged heart? You know, we all have bruised hearts from what life decides to bring our way, but we keep on going because we have each other.” Your boyfriend’s suggestion makes you three smile.

“Ah, you stole that from Y/N’s opinion piece,” Chanhee playfully scolds Changmin. But he finds himself nodding before saying, “But I think it does perfectly describe us.”

As he slowly starts to carve out the symbol, Sunwoo decides to speak up. “I was thinking we can drag Eric to join us here if you don’t mind?” The question is more directed towards you, making you hum in agreement. “He has this other friend who I think you’ll get along with. His name is Haknyeon.” You find yourself smiling at your best friend’s words.

“I’m down for that,” you say before lifting your head off your boyfriend’s shoulder. “I mean, as long as you’re there, I don’t mind.”

As you admit that to Sunwoo, he cannot help but smile back. However, he quickly covers it up by saying, “Ugh, so obsessed with me! Changmin, how do you deal with Y/N?” You gasp at your best friend’s words. What is even worse is that your boyfriend says nothing to defend you, only laughs along.

“Yah! Ji Changmin! How could you let him say that?!” Despite your complaints, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close to him, smothering your left cheek with kisses. The sight makes Sunwoo and Chanhee roll their eyes, but everyone is happy to see the new shift in the relationship.

Once Chanhee finishes carving out a beautiful image of a bandaged heart, everyone cannot help but smile at the sight. The lines of the heart are a little jagged—not very neat but it is clear to see that it is a heart. The bandage on it, however, is nice and clean. You cannot help but think the symbol is perfect to capture your friend group.

Although the bandaged heart may look a little rough, the idea still lives forever on this picnic table that became a getaway for your group. This place has witnessed all the laughs and tears you can ever recall in your college life. You hope that the next group of friends that stumble upon this spot will find solace the same way you four did.

Sunwoo shoots a look at Chanhee before saying, “Come on, let’s leave these two lovebirds to do whatever shit they need to do.” As soon as he stands up, Chanhee follows him. But before they decide to leave you two, Sunwoo says, “Please do not have sex on the table.”

You find yourself reeling at your best friend’s words. “Yah! Who do you think we are?”

Your two best friends look at each other before their eyes land back on you and Changmin. “We’re just saying that your boyfriend is quite scandalous.” Once you look at your boyfriend, you notice the frown on his face that is accompanied by cheeks that are dusted pink from what his friends revealed.

“And we’re off!” Chanheee exclaims. Just like that, your two best friends make their way out of the hideout, leaving you and your boyfriend all alone.

Although Changmin has his arm wrapped around your waist, you cannot help but shoot him a look of suspicion. “So, what type of kinks have you not revealed to me? I thought we knew everything about each other?” Your boyfriend rolls his eyes before placing another kiss on your cheek.

“That conversation is for another day,” he whispers with a smile. You only roll your eyes at his attempt to change the topic. He then says, “I want you to tell me about your plans for next year.” And with that, you show him a small smile before going on a tangent on what you have in store for the Features staff.

Around a month ago, you received news that you would take over as the Features editor. The day you got the news happened to land on the same day as Sunwoo’s and Changmin’s year-end concert. Your boyfriend was recognized for his beautifully crafted choreographies, and you remember how happy you were to see the standing ovations he received. So when you told him during dinner that you’ll be the incoming Features editor, you remember the joy that took over his face. It was one for the books—the day brought only good news.

A few days after the year-end concert, Kevin held one last meeting with the Features staff as a whole. It happened over lunch in the restaurant of Mr. Lim’s, the same owner whom you interviewed for the small business coverage. The food was to die for; the sour taste of the Kimchinigang, a pork stew that is mixed with vegetables and kimchi; the savory taste of the Beef Pares jajangmyeon, a black bean noodle dish accompanied with braised beef; and the sweet taste of turon hotteok, a banana-filled pancake.

Everything about that lunch felt comforting, from the food to the people you were with. You wish you could have frozen that moment—make time stand still even for a few minutes longer. But of course, moments like these always come to an end. It feels bittersweet to recall.

“Do you think you can pass me some soup?” Yunjin asks from beside you while she hands her bowl to you, eyes staring at the spicy pork stew. As soon as you pour enough soup with pieces of pork and vegetables, she signals you to stop.

You pass her the bowl with a smile and ask, “So, will I see you next year?”

She smiles at you. “Of course, I like it here.” She looks around the table to see that the staff is finishing up their meals. “I think I’m just going to miss a lot of people, but,” her eyes then land on you. “I’ll still be with you.”

Your heart warms at her words. The grin on your face is something that cannot be wiped. “I don’t know how I’ll be able to do this editor shit, so I’m glad I’ll at least have some familiar faces.”

Yunjin cannot help but nudge your side before taking a sip of her soup. “You’re not alone. I mean, me and Chaeyeon unnie will be here.” You let your eyes lie on the girl Yunjin sits across from, seeing that she is in the middle of a conversation with Seungcheol.

“Yeah,” you say as you smile to yourself.

Before you can say anymore, you feel the person on your other side nudging you. You roll your eyes before looking at the boy who seemingly interrupted your thoughts. “And what do you want from me, Mr. Bae?”

Jacob chuckles as he takes one more bite of the pancake. “Are you ready for Kevin’s speech?” You cannot help but furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “You think Kevin would end his term as an editor without some parting words?”

Before you can share your thoughts, you notice your editor get off his seat with a glass filled with some unknown cocktail in his hand. Everyone snaps out of their conversation as they stare at the boy who clears his throat.

“I think that it’s only right to say something before officially ending my term as your editor,” he starts off. His eyes scan over the people who stay seated, a smile on his lips. “I’ve been the Features editor for two years—some of you guys I worked with for those two entire years while others only one.”

“I have to admit that being an editor is not easy,” he chuckles. “I mean, there were so many times where I even questioned why I ended up becoming one because I thought I wasn’t the right person for the job.”

He bites on his bottom lip as he thinks over the next words to be said. “I used to think that being an editor would be a lonely and pressuring job—one that would have me always act quickly if any issue arises or think quickly to handle all the concerns that may be brought to my attention. And to be fair, it is that, but it’s only the surface of what it means to be an editor.”

“I learned in my two years that I am not just someone who will just guide you throughout all your stay in the publication—I grow with you in the same way you grow as a writer.” His words tug on your heartstrings. Your eyes are now wide due to his moving words.

“I want to thank you all for letting me work with you. It’s been my pleasure to read your pitches and stories that bring change to the community. But I also want to say that it’s been such an honor to get to know you all not only as writers but as individuals.” He takes a moment to breathe. “I have witnessed growth happen to each one of you, and I'm glad I became someone you guys can rely on. Thank you for choosing Features.”

His eyes then land on you, and he flashes you a smile. “Y/N, I know the process of deliberating and accomplishing the application was a difficult one. But I want to tell you how proud I am of you.” You can feel your lips quiver at his words. “I’m glad to hand over my position to you officially.”

Before you know it, Kevin makes his way towards you, finding his spot behind you as he rests his hand on your shoulder. As he rubs your shoulder, he brings his mouth close to your ear only for you to hear. And he whispers, “I still mean what I said then.”

His last sentence is a nod to the individual consultation you had with him regarding the position and your opinion piece. That one statement reminds you that he still thinks you are destined for greatness, and you cannot help but feel heartache. You will never find yourself forgetting the time Kevin spent to foster a space of care and growth not only for you but for the rest of your staff.

And you realize at that moment that you are now passed on with that duty—to build up your staff to become better writers while still looking out for them like you would with your friends. Because your staff will always be your friends before they are writers who work under your care. No matter what position you hold, you know that they are people you can rely on if you need to—the same goes for the editorial board.

When you feel Jacob wrap his arm around you, you notice the way he rubs on your arm. His touch is a comforting one—one where you can find yourself entering a space that is built for you to be vulnerable. And you swear you are not the type of person who will cry in front of anyone. To begin with, you already find it difficult to be vulnerable with your friends.

But at that moment, you feel the waterworks turn on. The tears slowly trail down your face as you bite on your bottom lip. Accompanied by Jacob’s comforting rubs, you feel the way he pulls you to his side so that you are closer to him. You wish you could find the right words to say at that moment, but you realize that the rest of the staff do not expect you to say anything because they understand how bittersweet this moment is.

With the way Kevin and Jacob hold you in an attempt to comfort you, you realize how indebted you are to these two. They have done nothing but care for you almost in the same way Sunwoo, Changmin, and Chanhee have for you. And it pains you to know that you will not see their faces on campus for the next year—that they will never see you doing your editor duties.

But you realize that does not have to be the case because you now know that the working relationship you have with the two has now blossomed into one of friendship. You now know you are not bidding them farewell, but an “I’ll message you whenever” instead. You are glad to have joined the publication because this choice brought you to them.

You were proud of how much you two have achieved during this difficult journey. You two have come so far—from high schoolers who were still navigating the uncertainties of adolescent years to adults who have achieved heights never imagined. Although you two still had to navigate the joys and struggles of adulthood outside of college years, you knew that you had each other to rely on.

“I’m proud of you,” your boyfriend says as soon as you finish listing some plans for the next academic year. You cannot help but smile at his words. “I mean, I’ve seen you from just being a writer to taking a spot on the editorial board. I’m so glad I got to witness that growth.”

You let your hand reach out to his cheek, your thumb grazing against his cheek. “You know, I’m also proud of you, right?” He shows you a small smile. “I mean, your passion for dance still shows, and I’m glad that you were recognized for your talents and efforts. Despite some losses, you found a way to bounce back,” you say. “And I’m glad that you were able to figure out a career path that works for you.”

He unwraps one arm from your waist so that he can let his hand rest on top of yours that remains on his face. “I’m glad that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with me. I know how hard it is for you on most days, but I’m happy you’re taking steps to allow for that change.” And you cannot help but feel your bottom lip quiver at his words.

“I love you, Changmin,” you whisper out. You bring your face closer to his so that you can rest your forehead against his. You let your eyes close before saying, “I’m glad I got to learn all about love through you.”

You feel him give you a peck on the lips. The action makes you giggle. As you open your eyes, you see how big his smile is. “I love you, too. Thank you for being my reason to keep on going.”

In your time knowing Changmin, you learned that linked arms always come with bruised hearts—that trusting someone means having to expose your most vulnerable side to them. Although it is hard to take such steps, the feeling that comes from it after is liberating.

The reality is that loving someone means building spaces for them to tell you their deepest sentiments. It also means supporting them in all that their heart lies on—helping to reestablish their independence. But most importantly, it means giving them reasons to keep going on the journey you both embark on.

You have learned about love from your best friends more than romantic media will ever show you. And every day, you are glad to continuously learn all about it through them. And now, all the love that is stored within you will grow in abundance because your friends have spent their time filling you with it.

But most of all, you are happy to know that you are not destined for loneliness in the end. You do not have to think about going back home to a colorless home after every hard day at work. Instead, you knew that your future would be full of warmth and color—all thanks to the one person who has taught you the most about love.

if you liked this, please take some time to reblog this!

#zzoguri works #deoboyznet #kflixnet #bjnet #k-labels #the boyz #ji changmin #the boyz x reader #changmin x reader #ji changmin x reader #ji changmin fluff #the boyz fluff #q x reader #kyu x reader #of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going)

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