#but I understand w h y so I’m gonna be goofy funny about it and pretend I’m not crying to the heavens at this great injustice ya know?

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

NSFW Alphabet - Miles Strasburg

(screencap is my own)

Soooo, I spent the weekend watching the Darrow & Darrow movies, and fell head over heels for Miles...which resulted in this. I’m not sorry.

Warnings for a whole lot of smutty headcanons

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Miles is practical. If there’s no water by the bed (or wherever you happened to do it), he’ll go get some. His priority is making sure you stay hydrated. Miles is also a snuggler. After sex, he’ll want to cuddle for as long as you both possibly can. He likes when you lay with your head on his chest or when he can spoon you from behind. As long as there’s a lot of skin to skin contact, and he gets to touch you and tell you how amazing you were, he’s happy.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Miles loves his hands, mostly because you love them. He knows that you love how big they are, how long his fingers are, and he loves what they can do to you. As for you, Miles knows it’s a cliché, but he loves your smile. He loves your bright smile that can cheer up the worst day, loves your sleepy morning smile, loves the bedroom smile you give him to let him know just how much you want him, loves the soft, sated smile you wear after. Just everything about your smile. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Back to being practical, Miles is gonna keep it wrapped up, even if you’ve been together for a long time, and probably won’t even think about going without a condom until you bring it up. Which means that nine times out of ten, cum doesn’t really get involved. That being said, with some encouragement from you, he does occasionally enjoy cumming on your stomach and chest. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Miles really wants to fuck you in his office. He thinks about it a lot. He wants to sweep everything to the floor, lay you back on the wood, and absolutely make a mess of you. He’d start by going down you, forcing you to bite down on his tie to stifle your moans, then he’d fuck you. He’d take away his tie, instead kissing you to swallow down both of your noises. And afterwards, if someone mentions a damp patch on his tie? Just some grape soda.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Miles doesn’t have the most notches on his bed post, but he’s not inexperienced either. He had his share of encounters during Law school and his first few years of being a lawyer. He’s had a lot less since his wife passed, only really having a couple of partners. He’s far from rusty though, and he’s a quick learner...

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Miles isn’t afraid to shake it up, but he’s a bit of a traditionalist. He likes to keep it simple and stick to missionary. He loves being able to look into your eyes and kiss you at whim, and enjoys feeling your chest heaving under his own. Mostly, he just loves that he can pin your hands to the bed with his own (something he knows also drives you wild.)

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Though he’s been known to be serious on occasion, usually Miles is pretty goofy. In fact, he thinks that if you’re not having some fun during the act, it’s being done wrong, and you’re breathless giggles that he turns into moans, drives him wild.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Miles has never really thought about grooming down there too much, especially when he’s out of a relationship. However, when the two of you start getting serious, and sex comes onto the table, he does keep it trimmed and tidy.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Miles loves to be intimate and romantic. Given time, he enjoys setting the scene. One time you came home to find the bed covered in rose petals, and candles lighting the room. Miles spent the night making love to you, and it was probably the best sex you’d ever had.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

In the early days of your relationship, Miles jacked off quite a lot thinking about you. He was so enraptured, how could he not? Though he’d be hard pressed to admit it, he still does sometimes. If you haven’t seen each other in a few days, he’ll masturbate thinking about what he wishes to do to you, and vice versa. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Miles isn’t super kinky, but he does enjoy using his tie to blindfold you sometimes. He also purchased some silk rope to tie your hands to the bed too. Miles enjoys sensory play, so keeping you like that means you get to enjoy everything he does to you even more. On occasion, if he’s had a stressful time, Miles does like it if you switch places, and you tie him up instead. He’s also a big fan of the erotic massage, both giving and receiving.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Miles’ ultimate favourite, hands down, is the bedroom, where you can have complete privacy to explore each other, and take your time.

 M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Miles loves seeing you in a well tailored suit. There’s something about the way the clothes hang perfectly on your body that drives him wild. He is, also, a stereotypical man, and if he comes home to find you in something skimpy and sexy, he’ll think all his Christmases have come at once and that he’s the luckiest man in the world.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Roleplay. Specifically roleplay that involves abuse of power somehow. Whilst he obviously understands that it is just an act, and that you’d be consenting, the idea still makes him exceptionally uncomfortable. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

While Miles will always enjoy you going down on him, there’s just something about seeing you on your knees, taking pleasure in giving him pleasure, his preference is always to go down on you. Hearing your moans and the way you chant his name as he uses his mouth to bring you to your peak, is absolutely one of his favourite things ever.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Miles has been known to get a little rougher, especially if things aren’t going well with a case and he’s frustrated, but usually, he prefers to go slow and take his time. If he can, he’d spend an entire night making love until you’re both sweaty, exhausted messes.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Miles is definitely not opposed to quickies if the occasion pops-up (that one time during the office Christmas party immediately springs to mind,) but he definitely prefers to take his time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Miles really isn’t that risky. He doesn’t mind the odd experiment, but only if it’s pretty safe. The riskiest thing the two of you have done was have sex outside one time when you went hiking together.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Miles isn’t as young as he used to be, so he can’t go for that many rounds. The maximum rounds you’ve had together is two (both of which were fantastic so you definitely weren’t complaining.) However, with his age and experience, comes stamina, and Miles can last a long time if he wants to. Which he does, because he always wants to make sure you come as many times as possible before letting go himself.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Miles doesn’t own any toys, and he’s never thought about buying any either. If you show him one of your own though, or go out to buy one as a surprise, he’s going to thoroughly love helping you use it. Maybe a little too much. You’ll be walking funny the next day for sure.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Oh Miles is going to tease. It takes him some time to get comfortable enough not to stumble over himself, but once he does...he loves it. But, he’ll readily admit, that between the two of you, you’re the superior teaser. Especially when you’re out somewhere public, and start whispering in his ear what you’re thinking, or texting him the odd sexy pic during the day. It drives him mad.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Miles is pretty quiet, he tends to hold back a bit, not wanting to come across too eager or embarrassing. Half your fun though, comes from dragging every little noise out of him. Your favourites are the small breathy moans he makes when you’re sucking him off, and the half-choked groan when he comes.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Since meeting you, Miles’ new favourite item of clothing to wear is a tie. He loves when you grab him by it and pull him into a passionate kiss (usually shortly after a trial where you watched him be his awesome self and put a bad guy away.) And the first time you suggested using it to tie your hands or use it as a blindfold, his brain almost broke, but fuck, he loved seeing it on you like that.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Look at those pants. Miles is packing. He’s long and thick and curled a little to the left, and every time he fucks you he fills you perfectly, and leaves you craving more.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

In between relationships Miles’ sex drive has never been that high. But when he’s with you, he can never get enough. Even after being together a long time, Miles still craves the touch and feel of your body against his. One of his new dreams is to whisk you away on a vacation where neither of you get out of bed the entire time.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He hates to admit it, but Miles can’t stay awake for as long as he’d like afterwards. If he had it his way, he’d stay awake long enough to watch you sleep a little first, (he loves how relaxed and at ease you are asleep in his arms,) but that’s not often the case, especially if you’ve been at it awhile. You never mind though. You love watching him sleep as much as he does you, and it means you always fall to sleep with a smile.

#lemons #miles strasburg x reader #miles strasburg #miles strasburg imagine #darrow & darrow imagine #Tom Cavanagh

[thotthumb]

Rappa (BNHA) NSFT ABC’s

Because this guy doesn’t have enough content and we THIRSTY.

So obvious warning for some smut but you already knew that 💅🏻

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Aftercare? What’s that?

Okay well he’s not THAT bad but that’s after you somehow manage to teach this boy some manners. Not the best but he tries (some times at least).

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

You’d think his arms right? Okay well you’re not completely wrong but his shoulders more specifically. Why? Well because his cute lil’ S/O can’t help but to leave scratches on him and his shoulders he can show them off easier.

On his S/O? Their thighs. Yep you heard me, Rappa is a thigh man. Muscle thighs? Amazing. Soft thighs? Perfect pillow. It’s not just because he can lay on their lap tho if he really wanted to. There’s also the fact that he can fuck their thighs and throw in some dry humping when he can’t do that.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Okay so Rappa’s a big dude, so there’s gonna be a LOT. That stuff is shooting out at you before the last bit is kinda dripping down.

It’s pretty thick and doesn’t taste the best. Tell this guy to get a better diet because his cum tastes like you dipped your tongue in some SALT.

Speaking of taste, this lil’ big shit is probably make you swallow. Yep so how you know how to down some liquid or you might struggle. Not that he minds seeing some dripping down your chin...

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He won’t admit it but he like the idea of having whoever he’s with use their quirk on him (like not shigaraki kinda quirk but yeah). He’ll definitely say something though if he’s not feeling it.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

His body count isn’t that high really, like maybe 2 or 3. But those were probably one night stands. The thing is though? He has a good idea of what he’s doing. Sure, it’s probably from a lot of ahem, films, but he knows a thing or two.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Literally any position that puts him in power is a go. Anything that has his partner on his knees is high on his list.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Kinda both? Like he’s gonna tease and laugh but he’s not going to be telling jokes or anything like that. He’s tryna get some so he’s got a goal here.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He kinda keeps everything trimmed? Sometimes he straight up forgets to trim it down a little bit

Curly hair and wild as hell. Like that’s a forest floor not just a bush.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

The only Rappa has for Romance is the “R”. Like he just isn’t that great at showing it. So he uses sex as a way to show it, even if it’s not the conventional way.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Keep your hand out of your damn pants, jeez. A solid FIVE days out of the week and more than likely more than once a day if he can. But he’d rather it be his S/O instead of his hand.

He’s chasing that release like his life depends on it. Fast movements, probably leaning against a wall or splayed out on a bed. Kind of rough with himself in all honesty.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Size Kink. Yeah it’s expected but there’s just something about him knowing that if he really wanted to, he could totally break his S/O. They’re just so damn tiny.

Breeding Kink. Yeahhhhhh, boy is feral. Like he doesn’t want the kid but it’s just so animalistic that he loves it. Also the mess. The mess afterwards is a huge positive.

Overstimulation. Mostly on his S/O. Just watching them squirm around, pushing at his hand and full on whimpering sets him OFF. He’ll want to go another round because of that. On him? He won’t complain but it isn’t his favorite. He’ll growl and let out grunts, jerking his hips, his thighs twitching and gripping at whatever he can.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere or at least, just about anywhere. He doesn’t like to share so as much as he loves the thrill of possibly being caught, he doesn’t want to get caught. He’s the only one who gets to see his little S/O red faced, trembling, and begging for more.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Strength and being able to take a hit. He got so hyped over Fatgum not just flying off somewhere and being down for the count so combine that kind of energy with his partner being his. Like you manage to pin him somewhere? Oh shit, his pants are tight. He sees you fighting and you don’t back down? He’ll be up for some “extra training” with you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Sharing. Nope, your his. Nobody else gets to see you like that. Nobody gets to see how desperate you get bent over a counter. Nobody gets to see how you’re scratching at his back as he pounds into you.

O = Oral (Preference for giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Prefers to receive. Hope you’ve got some stamina and a mouth bordering on a snake. Also don’t be surprised if he grabs the back of your head and starts fucking your face.

He can give though but he’s not up for it. You’re a lady want him to eat you out? He’ll go down on you and he’ll hold you still so he can get his fill. You’re a dude and you want him to suck you off? Hell yeah. Because he’s massive, he could probably take you all the way into his mouth and get some licking in there too. Oh and fair warning, nasty man eats cake.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Man out here acting like Sonic okay bad joke I know but shush. He doesn’t really do slow. He’s going hard and fast. Boy is more of a break your back kinda guy really.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not apposed to it but they don’t happen too often. He likes to go for a while and you can’t really do that in 15 minutes in some nasty gas station bathroom.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hella. He’s down for a risk. I mean, he’s a villain here. It’s kinda his thing. As long as he doesn’t get caught he’s fine.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Man’s a HORSE. He can for maybe 3 to 4 rounds and lasts for maybe 30 minutes each. He just can’t get enough of his partner.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not really. He doesn’t have much of need for them personally and he feels that he’s more than capable of pleasing his partner without some silicone assistance.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a tease. Being, during and after. Before doesnt last that long because he’s impatient and just wants to get going. Oh and dirty talk? There’s a lot. Like, Overho would die with how dirty.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s kinda loud but not like screaming loud. Most grunts, groans and growls. He prefers making any noises in his partners ear so they hear just how good they are.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Has definitely thought about getting maybe a ladder or and Prince Albert piercing but never went through with it.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a big guy so he’s packing but it’s in proportion. But it’s big for most people. Probably around 8 or 9 inches so not super long but it’s built like a Pepsi can. You might need two hands to go all the way around. Curves up and has a big vein on the right side. Lick that.

It’s honestly really pretty? Like it it matches his body in skin tone and gets flushed around the head. It turns are really pretty shade of pink.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

To infinity and beyond! Plus Ultra if you will. Basically, through the roof. But if you won’t let him tap, well. Poor boy gets snappy and the second you do let him (consent is important and he understands that), please cancel all plans for the next few days. You’ll be walking funny assuming you can walk.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Borderline immediately. After he learns how aftercare works and how it’s kinda important, he’ll keep himself awake long enough to make sure nobody’s hurt (like injury hurt) and in a good headspace. Of course, you do have to tell him most of the time but he tries.

[wtfdavidsvlogs]

Out of my League (D.D)

Warnings: Fluff and swearing

Requested: @cracraforfandoms

Oooo! Or maybe a fluffy one w David where he’s really awkward around u cuz he thinks ur way out of his league but he really likes u and makes excuses to spend time w u just one on one??

Gif by: @ughitsdavid

David has been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember. I grew up in Vernon Hills with him, Natalie, and Ilya. David has always been a really weird kid in many ways but lately he’s been a lot different around me. He keeps on making excuses for me to stay over longer whether it’s, “The video won’t look right, I need you to be in it.” Or “I can drive you home I just need to finish editing the next 6 hours of footage.” Which I don’t mind necessarily, it’s just not like him. He invited me to his house for the 100th day in a row.

“DAAAAVIIID?! I’m HERE! WHERE ARE YOU, CRACKHEAD?!” He bolts from around the corner as i’m taking me shoes off. He comes to hug me. I let out a groan as it feels more like a bear hug then a regular hug. “H-Hi, David.” I say letting out a laugh. “You act as if I haven’t been seeing you everyday for the last 2 months.” I say looking at his goofy smile ridden face. He immediately gets all flustered and awkward.

“I mean, I j- I just like seeing you, you know?” He says letting out a sigh and placing his hands on his hips. Everyone that was sitting in the living room yells their hellos to me as I walk closer to them. David follows close behind. I sit down right next to Zane and David sits in the love sac with Heath.

“So what’s going on? What have I missed?” I say taking off my jean jacket to reveal my cute red tank top. I will admit, it does reveal a little bit of cleveage if I wear the right bra with it. With any other bra it looks weird and lumpy. I knew none of these guys would really care since none of them think of me that way...I think. David looks up at me and starts choking on his chewing gum. He throws his laptop and gets up to cough. I get up immediately trying to help him. “Oh my god, you clutz! Are you alright?!” I say laughing as he finally caught his breath. He looks at me and nods his head quickly. I pat his back. “Go get some water or something.” I say to him, he nods in agreement and lowly chuckles as he walk to the kitchen. I sit down and the rest of the group is silently laughing. “What’s so funny?” I say with a confused smile on my face.

“Oh nothing, he just really likes the color red.” Jason said to me and laughing again. I sit back into the couch with pure confusion riddled on my face.

Davids POV

I cannot believe I just embarrassed myself so badly in front of the girl of my literal dreams. I get a glass and fill it up. I sit on the counter and see that Jason gets up to talk to me. He gets close and starts silently chuckling. I roll my eyes knowing very well what this talk will be about. Everyone in the group knows that I am hopelessly in love with Y/N, who is desperately out of my league.

“Slick. Very slick.” Jason says crossing his arms. I get down off the counter.

“How the hell was I supposed to know that the hottest girl on planet Earth was gonna walk in looking like one of charlie’s angels?!” I whisper yell in his face.

“You really are whipped...you have to tell her. Every day she gets more and more suspicious about your behavior and I don’t think Zane or Todd can keep it hidden much longer.” Jason says to me in a low whisper.

“No. Absolutely not. Girls like THAT!” I point at her. “Don’t want guys like THIS.” I say pointing both fingers at my chest. “She is so out of my league. There is no way that girl would ever like me. Hell, she’d probably laugh in my face if I told her that. I’ll save myself the gut wrenching embarrassment for now. But thanks.” I said whisper yelling every word.

“Look. You have NO IDEA if she likes you or not. Hell, she could be just as whipped as you are. But the worst thing you can do for yourself is never try and see what it could be. You could be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime and you are worried about if she reciprocates it?! Shoot your shot, kid!” He says patting my shoulder. I look over at her and she’s smiling and laughing with the other girls in the group. Jason’s right. I at least need to try.

I take a deep breath and walk over there. I curve around the couch and she immediately looks at me and smiles the most amazing smile.

“Y/N, can I talk to you? For a minute?” I say to her. She nods and stands up. I walk her out back right near the balcony over looking the city. She and I sit down and on one of the lawn chairs. Her eyes gaze over the skyline as if she’s never seen anything like it. Her eyes have this glow no matter what she’s doing. Like she’s always happy to be living and breathing. Looking at her face all of my confidence that I once possessed is now gone. I stand up in a hurry.

“I can’t do this! Why did you think you could do this?!” I say running my hands through my hair. She stands up and walks towards me. She grabs my arm and I jump slightly.

“Do what, David? What is going on?” She said calming me down. The worry on her face gave me all the reason to say what I needed to say.

“Y/N. From the day I met you, I thought you were honestly the most beautiful, vibrant woman that I have ever met. It scared me how quickly I started to fall in love with you. I got to know you better and the love only grew stronger. You made me want to spend every waking moment with you. I wanted to kiss you like the world was ending every time we touch, I wanted you to be every where that I was, I wanted to be the shoulder you cry on, I wanted to be there in every happy moment in your life and I wanted to be the cause of it. You make me so fucking crazy. You make me lose motor functions.” I say chuckling and she does too. The smile never fading from her face. “The only reason I’ve never told you is because you are way way way out of my league. I thought that you deserved to be with someone so much hotter than me. I’m just me and I thought that ‘me’ wouldn’t be good enough for someone like you.” I say to her. She smiled and placed her hands on my face. She quickly leaned in and kissed my lips and every dream and thought that I had ever hsd about that moment was increased ten fold. She pulled away and laughed.

“You really thought all of that?” She asked me softly.

“Every. Day.” I said back to her with no hesitation. She wrapped her arms around me and cried slightly. I grab her so tight never wanting to let her go.

“David.” She said and pulled away with tears on her rosy cheeks. “You are the only man that has ever treated me like a human. Every other guy wants the same thing from me and it’s always sex or a booty call or I’m the person they’ve cheated on someone with. You are LITERALLY the only guy to ever say anything like that to me.” She said with her voice cracking I grab her hands as she looked down at her feet. I switch my body so that it’s facing her completely.

“Hey. Look at me.” Her head leans up to me. “You deserve everything I told you. Every last bit of it and more. Watching you get played and toyed with while I sat in the side lines like a little bitch, is the biggest regret in my life to this day. But I promise you I will never let that happen to you again. Do you understand?” She nods and I pull her in again to hug me. Tears well in the ducts of my eyes thinking about the horrible people that have made her feel like she was nothing.

“I love you, David. And if you’re wondering if I ever felt the same way, I have. I always have.” I close my eyes tight and a tear falls down my face.

“I love you too, Y/N...and thank god. This conversation could have gone so much worse.” I say laughing. She chuckles and leans her head into the curve of my shoulder.

AGHHGNE I LOVED THIS SO SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST! Speaking of which my inbox is open for requests so send em in!

#david dobrik #david dobrik imagines #davids vlogs #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik x reader #vlog squad #vlog squad imagines #zane hijazi #jason nash #todd smith #heath hussar

[guilty-pleasures-abound]

Sexy Headcanon A-Z Game

Yeeee, thanks for playing, y’all, these were super fun.

To recap:

Stan: A: Aftercare: absolutely all about the cuddling. He’s such a secret softy, he lives for spooning up with his partner (big spoon, naturally), pressing gentle little kisses on the back of their neck as they both fall asleep.

B: Body Part: His jaw. A girl once told him he had the perfect jaw; strong enough to sit on all night, and it was a compliment he took deep to heart and still thinks of with pride. When it comes to his partners, he loves a nice pair of legs. He likes them to be strong, so when he’s got them wrapped around his waist or on either side of his head, he can tell just how good of a job he’s doing by how hard they squeeze him.

C: Cum: He loves to pull out, just as he’s about to come, and cover his partner in his spunk. Their belly, their back, their face. It’s so sexy, like marking his territory with some secret flag.

D: Dirty Secret: He once stuck his dick in a glory hole in a seedy club in Vegas. It was the best head he ever got, and even though he never saw their face, the experience was jerk off fodder for years after.

E: Experience: Experienced enough to be comfortable and confident. Like most, he thinks back on his first few times as a teenager with a degree of cringe, but has most definitely learned and improved since then.

F: Favorite position: doggy style. There’s just something sexy and primal about it; he likes the way his partner’s back arches, the way their ass impacts against his hips. He liked that he can reach around them to play with their nipples or between their legs, or take a fistful of their hair into his hand.

G: Goofy: He’s a funny guy, what can he say? One can’t just turn off that kind of charm because things have moved into the bedroom. Once or twice he’s overstepped, made his partner angry at him, so he’s learned when to be serious and when he can be a bit more playful.

H: Hair: There’s no use. His hair is completely unruly and grows like a weed, so shaving or trimming doesn’t do much, and frankly he doesn’t understand the idea of removing all his body hair anyway. Why would you want to look prepubescent?

I: Intimacy: even when it’s a new partner he just met, he’s going to make sure they know how happy he is to be there. Sex is great, sex is fun, and if he’s lucky enough to go to bed with someone (even if it’s just once) he’s not going to hold back on making sure they know it.

J: Jack-off: Stan loves to jack off in the shower. It’s efficient, it’s relaxing, and it makes him feel ready for whatever he’s doing after that; whether it’s being Mr Mystery or winding down for bed in the evening. Sometimes he just kind of let’s his mind wander, and sometimes he thinks about past hookups, or occasionally a hot tourist that came through the Shack that he wished he could have had a fling with.

K: Kink: Bondage. He’s been powerless too many damn times in his life, so having control over somebody else, being able to completely control their movement, their position, if they can touch him or not, makes him feel powerful and strong.

L: Location: Unlike Ford, Stan finds it thrilling to fuck in public places. Not town square public, mind you, but in the museum of the Shack? The seats of the Stan Mobile? Hell, out on Lake Gravity Falls in his little Stan O’War boat? There’s something thrilling about it that energizes him like nothing else.

M: Motivation:Stan is all about the visuals. He absolutely loves a good striptease, sexy clothes, sexy underwear. He loves when his partner plays those “what? I’m just bending over to pick up this pen” kind of games, and will play right along until he’s too wound up to keep himself from pulling them into the first private room available to fuck them silly.

N: No: The only time he wants to make someone bleed is if he’s in a real fight; otherwise the idea of drawing blood from a partner freaks him all kinds of out. That’s why he’s totally on board with a bit of rough play like spanking, but would never use tools that could break skin. He doesn’t want to do that kind of damage.

O: Oral: Looooooves it. Loves giving it, loves receiving it. Loves the taste of his partners, loves the taste of himself in their mouths. He’s the kind of guy that takes shortcuts in almost everything else in life, but when it comes to this, he takes the long route. Building his partner up slowly, luxuriating in the sounds they make, the way they clutch his hair and shoulders. He’ll do it as long as they let him.

P: Pace: He likes to pretend to like it fast and dirty (and sometimes that’s true), but he’s such a secret softy, so happy when he gets the opportunity to take it slow and gentle. He loves to take his time, really enjoy everything, drink in as much of the experience as he can for as long as he can.

Q: Quickie: He’s always loved the thrill of a quick fling, especially when it’s someplace they shouldn’t be fucking. It’s like the thrill of pulling off a crime, except he gets an orgasm out of it. It’s especially enjoyable when it’s a partner he has an ongoing relationship with, as he learns what gets them off quickly and satisfyingly.

R: Risk: Stan’s a bit more reserved about trying new things in the bedroom. He knows what he’s good at, so throwing him something new makes him nervous; he’s afraid of being bad at it and driving his partner away as a result. He’ll come around to most things, given enough time, reassurance, and the opportunity to learn about it, but not always.

S: Stamina: He can’t go for hours, but boy does he make the time he can go count, making sure that his partner is comfortable and happy. It’s part of why he loves foreplay so much; he just loves proving that you don’t have to last for ages and ages to make your partner feel good.

T: Toy: he’s a simple guy with simple tastes; he’s not gonna knock toys, but he’s not real interested in them. He’ll use them on his partners if they want them, but he’d much rather use his fingers or his mouth to get them off.

U: Unfair: He’s the worst. He loves to tease, loves to wind his partner up then leave them wanting; that little bit of a sadistic streak in him coming through. He’s a good sport about the teasing being given back to him, though, loving it when his partners brush against him then fake innocence, or play games where he can look but he can’t touch. The waiting and teasing makes the eventual victory all the more sweet and intense, which is exactly the kind of thrill he’s down for.

V: Volume: Noisy. Not outrageously so, but there is an abundance of groaning and grunting when he’s really deep into it. He curses and moans when he comes, too, which has more than once earned him a hand clamped over his mouth to quiet him.

W: Wild Card: there was a girl he met on the road who was all kinds of wild. He was so enamored that he let her convince him to try on her panties; they were lacy and sky blue, and he was genuinely shocked at how much of a turn on it was to see himself in them in her bedroom mirror. It was something he tried to push to the back of his mind since then, but sometimes he remembers and is almost tempted to buy a pair–you know, for nostalgia’s sake. Almost tempted.

X: X-ray: Just like Ford, Stan is thick. He’s an average length but his girth is what leaves his partners melting around him.

Y: Yearning: Not as high as you might think. It’s higher when he has a partner he’s really keen on, but going without sex for long periods isn’t the worst torture imaginable for him.

Z: Zzz: Oh right away! Don’t look to him for long pillow talks, he’s half asleep by the time he pulls off the condom.

Ford: A: Aftercare: he’s very considerate after sex. He’ll go get a washcloth, tidy his partner up, make sure they’re comfortable. He’s not into cuddling all night, preferring a bit of personal space to sleep, but he doesn’t mind a hand on his arm or his shoulder; just a little bit of contact to remind him he’s not alone.

B: Body Part: His shoulders. When he and Stan hit puberty, it felt like Stan left him in the dust for a little bit, but once he really reached adulthood, he finally felt powerful in his own skin. Part of that was how broad his shoulders became, and he made sure the rest of his body was just as strong. When it comes to his partners, he tends to favor nice necks; it’s such an erogenous zone for most people, and something he can inconspicuously touch and kiss, even when in the company of others.

C: Cum: He’s ashamed of how much the idea of coming inside his partner makes him so freaking hot. Partly because it’s an act of trust, and that’s an important factor in his sex life anyway, and partly because in a brain like his, so focused on science–on math and facts and logic-ing his way through any situation–the desire for sex and idea of breeding taps into some primal part of his brain that makes everything else shut off.

D: Dirty Secret: He likes being called a slut in bed. It’s so not what he is, he can count on one hand the number of partners he’s had in his life, but the implication that he’s doing something dirty and naughty by having sex gets him hot.

E: Experience: He was a “late bloomer.” He didn’t have his first sexual experience until well into adulthood, and technically not in this dimension. He eventually learned its value to his life and mental wellbeing, becoming far more open and exploring of it as he traveled.

F: Favorite position: Ford loves having his partner on top. It frees up his hands to touch and stimulate, and allows him to watch their reactions to everything he does.

G: Goofy: He’s never really been one for jokes, that was always Stan’s department. That’s not to say he’s super serious in bed all the time, he knows how to have a bit of levity and fun, but he’s not interested in it becoming a laugh fest by being silly.

H: Hair: Ford doesn’t bother shaving or trimming his body hair, he’s got more important things to worry about. And honestly he hasn’t had any complaints, so he’s not about to start fussing with it now.

I: Intimacy: he’s not about flings or one-night stands, so if he’s with someone, it’s going to be intimate. It’s going to be about the connection between them, the mutual attraction and affection. He’s going be deeply invested in their pleasure, their comfort, and knowing exactly what he feels for them.

J: Jack-Off: He honestly can’t remember the last time he jerked off in bed; he does it when he gets restless, or hits a roadblock with one of his experiments, so that usually mean masturbating down in the lab. (Thank god he had the forethought to have an incinerator down there, or the used tissues would really make things awkward when Dipper came down.) It helps him clear his head and get focused, so he doesn’t tend to think about anything specific, just letting his mind go blank until he comes.

K: Kink: Voyeurism. Started the first time he accidentally caught a couple hooking up under the boardwalk, and realized how much harder it got him than porn ever did. Something about actually seeing it in person just gets him.

L: Location: In a bed is his favorite for sure. A bed was never guaranteed when he was drifting between dimensions, so having one available to him, especially for something so pleasurable as sex, is something he deeply values.

M: Motivation: Ford’s sex drive is deeply influenced by his state of mind, so simply feeling him up won’t get him turned on. Dirty talk is a useful tool in this regard; tell him what you want him to do to you, what you want to do to him, how good it will all feel, how good he is at it–that all goes a long way to get his undivided attention and his very intense arousal.

N: No: Public sex. It takes time for him to trust someone enough to be intimate with them, so the chance that someone else might catch him in such an intimate state (an inherent gamble when in a public place) makes him far too nervous.

O: Oral: When given to him, he likes it as foreplay, but not to finish. And where Stan loves to just go and go for as long as his partner will let him, Ford is less interested in doing that; preferring to get his partner off quickly and efficiently with his mouth before moving on to the next thing he wants to do.

P: Pace: When he’s focusing on the other person, he wants to do what they need to get there, but when it’s his turn, hard and quick is key.

Q: Quickie: He’s mastered quickies. He doesn’t perfect his skills at getting his partner off for nothing; being able to do it in record time but still leave them satisfied is a point of personal pride for him. He likes the challenge, he likes the sense of thrill from trying to “beat the clock” so to speak, especially when the quickie takes place down in the lab while he’s running an experiment.

R: Risk: He’s lived a life of danger, experimenting in the bedroom doesn’t scare him. As long as there’s no high risk of imminent death or permanent damage, he’ll try anything once.

S: Stamina: He is very proud of his level of fitness, and that absolutely translates to the bedroom. He can go as long as you need him to, his athleticism a boon for maintaining pace and intensity that satisfies his partner. He needs a little time to recover after he’s climaxed to be able to engage in a second round, but he’s more than happy to provide other stimulation until then.

T: Toy: he’s encountered some stuff in the multi-verse that would blow earth’s collective minds. Stuff that taps directly into your nervous system to give you the maximum pleasure a body’s capable of, just as one example. Sadly he was unable to bring any of it back with him; priorities, after all, he had a monstrous triangle to defeat. He does like toys in general, though; he’s into gadgets, what can he say? His favorite for himself is a vibrating butt plug; he is unashamed of the fact that prostate stimulation makes orgasms more intense, and a good butt plug delivers that in spades. When it comes to partners, his favorite will always be whatever toy they have that gets them off the hardest.

U: Unfair: Shockingly impatient. He doesn’t really do the “teasing” thing well, getting hungry and demanding fairly rapidly. He doesn’t respond well to it either, “playing hard to get” just not coming across for him, and instead leaving him thinking that he has done something wrong that warrants his lover’s dismissal.

V: Volume: Quiet, just the occasional gasp and soft moan or grunt of effort. He’d rather hear his partner’s sounds of pleasure.

W: Wild card: His love of roleplay doesn’t end with Dungeons, Dungeons & More Dungeons. Actually, bring the campaign into the bedroom and it would make his year.

X: X-ray: Ford is thick. It wasn’t something he really thought much about until he had a partner compliment him on it; which brought to his attention the apparent opinion among many that when it comes to dicks, length is not as good as width.

Y: Yearning: Fairly high. He masturbates nearly every day, even when he has a regular partner. Having sex with a partner is better though, taking his focus out of his own head and into someone else, which helps him destress and clear his mind, frequently leading him to breakthroughs in his research and inventing.

Z: Zzz: Definitely takes him a while. He doesn’t sleep much anyway, and while sex can sometimes help, it’s not a cure-all. He takes the time afterwards to talk to his partner, maybe engage in some light cuddling, or maybe just observing them as they drift off. Sometimes he’ll get up after they’ve gone to sleep, throwing on comfy clothes and heading downstairs to make himself some tea or coffee, maybe check on an ongoing experiment, or do some reading or journaling.

#stan pines #ford pines #stanley pines #stanford pines #hunkle stan #hunkle ford #sexy headcanon #headcanon #asks #askbox #gravity falls #lemon #grunkle stan #grunkle ford

[letswritebangtan]

Could you do 3 with Taehyung ❤️

Prompt: “I may be an idiot, but I’m notstupid.”

You sighed exasperatedly as you ran a hand through your hair. Nothingwas right. You were planning Taehyung’s surprise birthday party this year. Youdecided you wanted to do something special for him because when was the lasttime Taehyung had a proper birthday celebration? Probably ages ago. They werealways touring and attending award shows and whatnot, Taehyung rarelycelebrated his birthday anymore. Sure, the boys would bring in a cake and singhappy birthday and then give him presents but you thought that he deserved morethan that, and you were willing to make it happen this year. 

But, things weren’t going as smoothly as planned. The colours yourequested for the restaurant were supposed to be a simple baby blue and white,but they messed it up and threw rainbow colours everywhere making it seem likea unicorn just took a big dump in that room. You told them to fix it but theysaid it might take longer than expected. But you weren’t having any of thatbull crap, so you gave them a piece of your mind and they immediately began towork faster. 

It wasn’t just the venue though, the invitations got kinds screwed uptoo. They ended up being printed on thin paper, so it wasn’t a card anymore itwas just a flimsy piece of paper with words on it that weren’t even in the correctfont. You had to get them reprinted, and obviously it would take a lot moretime.

The one thing you were hoping that would turnout perfect was the cake, but ofcourse they had spelt his name wrong. 

“His name was spelt t e h y u n k. Who the fuck names their son Tehyunk?I swear to god, if they don’t fix it by Friday, I’m going to lose my mind,” youcomplained to Jimin who was patiently listening to your rants. 

“I know things aren’t perfect right now, but it’ll turn out great, y/n,trust me. Taehyung’s going to love you for this,” Jimin reassured you as he puthis hand on your shoulder and shook it slightly. 

You huffed and leaned your head against his shoulder, “Yeah, Ireally hope so.”

Your phone rang all of a sudden, and seeing your boyfriend’s goofy facepop up on your screen made you smile. You shushed Jimin and everyone else atthe restaurant a hundred times before picking up. 

“What’s up, Tae?” you asked. 

“y/n, where are you? I thought we were supposed to meet at the cafe at5?” he asked sounding annoyed slightly. 

You frowned in confusion. “Cafe? Why are you-” you froze when yourealised you forgot all about the coffee date you had planned with Taehyung.You just had a lot of things to sort out, it must have slipped your mind. Butyou couldn’t leave now, you had to stay and make sure the decorations wereright. 

“Oh my god, Tae, babe, I am so so sorry, it just completely slipped mymind,” you sighed. 

You didn’t hear much from Taehyung except for a defeated sigh. 

“So are you coming or what?” he said impatiently.

“I-I can’t, Tae. I’ve got some stuff to handle-”

Suddenly, Jimin let out a loud laugh that echoed throughout the room and you turned around togive him a warning look. He whispered a ‘sorry’ and got back to chatting with oneof the workers there. 

“Was that Jimin? What are you doing with him?” Taehyung asked, soundingslightly offended.

“N-Nothing!” you said hurriedly. “I uh, he’s….we’re just workingon some stuff,” you tried to reason. 

“Where are you, y/n?” Taehyung asked angrily.

“I-I’m at the uh, I’m at the library,” you lied.

“And Jimin’s with you?” he asked again. 

“Yep, we’re just doing some studying,” you said confidently.

“Funny, Jimin just told me that he was at the dance studio just a fewminutes ago.”

You went speechless as you tried to think of something to say. 

“Uh, he must have um….maybe he-” your sentence was cut off as yousquealed when you felt something cold touch your cheek. Jimin was pressing achilled can of cola to your face and he was laughing again. You swatted his hand away and lightly cursed at him to shut the hell up.

Taehyung heard all of this and he felt hurt. What were you doing withJimin? Why were the two of you laughing together? And most importantly, why were the two of you lying to him?

“y/n, what’s going on?” he asked, his voice filled with hurt. 

“Tae,” you sighed, “I-”

“You know what? Forget it,” he snapped and then said no more.

You stared at your phone, dumbfounded. You felt bad for ditchingTaehyung, but everything needed to be perfect for him and you were determinedto give him the best party ever. You turned to look at Jimin who was smiling cheekily and handing you a can of soda. 

“You were too loud! He’s definitely suspecting something,” you frowned.

“Nah, Taehyung’s not smart that way. He won’t figure it out, trust me,” Jimin reassured. 

You sighed, “I feel bad for forgetting about our date.”

“That date won’t matter soon, y/n,” Jimin said. 

You nodded, “Yeah, I guess. I’m doing this for him and him only.”

A few hours later, the restaurant looked stunning. It looked so pretty and like Jimin said, things were starting to come together perfectly. The cake had been fixed, the invitations were edited and would be sent tomorrow, and now you could finally go home and get some rest. Jimin had walked you back, and you bid him goodbye before walking into the shared apartment you had with your boyfriend. Taehyung was on the couch watching a football match and all you wanted to do was crash next to him and cuddle for the rest of the night. You closed the door and put your stuff away before plopping next to him. 

“You aren’t gonna say hi?” you asked.

Taehyung ignored you and looked straight ahead, watching the game.

You sighed and picked up his hand, “Look, I’m sorry about today. I was so busy it just slipped off my mind and I would have come and seen you but I couldn’t-”

Taehyung huffed and pulled his hand away from yours and switched off the television. He got up and went to the kitchen without saying a word. You knew you were at fault but why couldn’t he understand that you were busy? You weren’t going to sleep on this, so you went to the kitchen to find him. He was pouring himself a glass of milk when you saw him. 

“Taehyung, I told you I was sorry,” you said slightly annoyed.

You saw him roll his eyes as he screwed on the cap on the carton of milk. 

“Seriously? Why can’t you understand the fact that I had things to do-”

Suddenly Taehyung slammed the fridge door shut making a loud ‘bang’ that startled you. Your eyes widened as you looked at him, and he was finally looking at you. 

“Busy? Busy doing what?” he snapped. 

“I-I was….studying.”

Taehyung scoffed, “Studying? Yeah, bullshit, y/n. I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”

You ran a hand through your hair exasperatedly. You couldn’t tell him, or the surprise would be ruined. All your hard work would be wasted, gone. 

“I can’t tell you,” you mumbled softly. 

“Why not?” he asked, his voice now sounding more hurt than angry. 

“I-I just can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to?” he growled.

“Just leave it alone, Taehyung! Why don’t you trust me?”

He raised an eyebrow giving you a questioning look. “Are you really asking me that question?”

You looked away and frowned. 

“How am I supposed to trust you when you can’t tell me something as simple as this? You’re hiding something from me and I know exactly what it is,” he said.

Your eyes shot back up to his face. “You do?”

He nodded, “And it disgusts me, y/n. The fact that you lie, and deny that you lied, when you and I clearly know what’s going on. So just say it. Spit it out, or I’ll really lose all respect I have left for you.”

You were confused. What was he talking about?

“W-why would it disgust you?” you asked sounding hurt. 

“God dammit, y/n! You’re cheating on me aren’t you? With Jimin, it had to be my best friend too. How could you? And you pretend like it isn’t a big deal. It’s fucking shameful,” he yelled.

You gaped at him, “What? No! I’m not cheating on you, who the fuck told you that?!”

“Oh please, the two of you lie to me to be together, and I heard you. I heard the both of you. Taehyung’s not smart that way? He won’t figure it out? Fuck, the two of you did this behind my back all this while. You could have just broken it off with me!”

Wait he heard that? Then you realised, maybe Taehyung hadn’t ended the call after all, he had heard your conversation with Jimin, and you could see why he thought that you were cheating on him.

You sighed, “Taehyung, you’re wrong,” you said firmly.

Taehyung just looked at you angrily, too hurt to walk out on you just yet. He still loved you so much. 

“Look I tried to do this for you but I guess it’s not going to happen. These past few days, I’ve been planning a surprise birthday party….for you,” you admitted.

Taehyung’s gaze softened and his facial expression showed realisation.

“Jimin was helping me pull this off. Yesterday, I was at the restaurant putting up decorations for the party, and I couldn’t leave to come and see you because I had to stay and make sure everything was perfect. I was just so busy planning your party I completely forgot about our date. Jimin and I lied about where we were because we obviously couldn’t tell you that we were at a restaurant preparing decorations for your party. I just wanted to do something special for you, Tae. You hardly get the chance to celebrate your birthday properly because you’re always on tour or you’ll be busy recording but this once I wanted you to have a proper celebration with your family and your friends and I….guess that’s not going to happen, well at least it isn’t going to be a surprise anymore,” you sighed. 

Taehyung sighed and walked towards you, pulling you into his embrace. He buried his face into your hair and kissed the top of your head softly. 

“God, baby, I’m so sorry. I just got hurt and scared, scared that I had probably lost you,” he murmured. 

You hugged him back and placed your head against his chest. 

“It’s okay, Tae. I can see why you were upset. Just so you know, I’d never cheat on you. Neither would Jimin ever do such a thing.”

“I know, I know,” he sighed, “I was stupid to think that. But this birthday party, babe you really didn’t have to. I just feel really bad for ruining something you put so much effort into.”

You smiled and pulled away from his chest to kiss him on the lips. He kissed back softly, sliding his hand from your waist to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You pulled away after a few minutes and pecked his lips softly once more.

“It’s alright. You deserve this party, and it can still happen. Just that it won’t be a surprise anymore,” you shrugged. 

“I love you so much, y/n,” he cooed as he bent down to kiss you again.

You giggled, “I love you too, dork.”

___________________________________________________

I hope this was okay

#bts #bangtan #bangtanseonyeondan #bangtanimagine #bangtanimagines #bts x reader #bangtan x reader #bts imagines #bts oneshots #bts stories #bts short story #rm #kim namjoon #bts rm #kim seokjin #seokjin #bts jin #worldwide handsome #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #bts suga #jung hoseok #hoseok #bts jhope #jhope #park jimin #jimin #bts jimin #kim taehyung

[multipandombabe]

Carry On Wayward- Dean Winchester Father Imagine

Warnings: Angst, tears, idk it’s sad yall

Pairing: Dad!Dean Winchester x Daughter!Reader

"Dean?" The light from the hallway shown through into his room, only a crack, but enough to illuminate the figure standing in his doorway.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he squinted harshly before recognizing who was there. It was his 7 year old daughter, Y/N .

She stood there, little balled up fist raised to her eye as she rubbed it absentmindedly. Clothed in nothing but one of Dean's old t-shirts and some shorts she tightened her grip on the teddy bear given to her by Bobby.

Just by looking at her though, Dean knew something was wrong, especially with the time of night it was.

"What's wrong kiddo?" He question, throat dry as he forced himself up on his pillow. Y/N stepped closer into his room but seemed hesitant.

"I had a bad dream...c-can I come sleep with you?" Dean was now more awake than before, his new parental instincts kicking in the quieter she became.

He moved until his back was set up against the bed frame, reaching over to switch the lamp on beside his bed. They both simultaneously flinched at the bright light, Y/N sheltering her sensitive eyes with her tiny hands and Dean just seeming to squint harder.

He looked back at her, now that he could fully see her, to notice the stray tears drying on her face, her nose sniffling here and there every few seconds.

"Oh-h, yeah of course. C'mere." He opened his overly large arms awkwardly, again, still new to this whole parental thing.

But Y/N didn't seem as hesitant before, this time instead quickly making her way to his side.

She climbed over his legs with her free hand and moved until she was at his side, tucking herself right underneath his arm.

Dean cleared his throat before smiling down at her softly, noticing her doe eyes becoming heavier. Suddenly her mouth opened up but only to reveal a short-lived yawn.

Dean slowly slouched his body back down, moving so that he was laying flat on his back and she was still tucked into his side, arm wrapped tightly around her.

"Aren't you gonna turn the light off?" To say that Dean was shocked was an understatement. The seven year old who was just complaining about a nightmare with tears in her eyes and a quivering lip was asking to turn the light off? Wasn't strange at all.

"Uhm..are you sure? We can leave it on if you want."

"No." she began, finger rubbing over the teddy bear's button nose. But her attention moved away from it quickly, eyes darting up to hold Dean's stare, "I know you'll protect me from the monster."

His heart seemed to stop for minute, too filled up with this strange warm feeling that made his chest ache, but in the good way. It was strange though in a sense, being so captivated by a child's eyes.

But she was slowly beginning to mean everything to Dean, whether he recognized it or not.

"Wait," he mumbled catching her words, "Is that what you had a nightmare about? Monsters?" Dean was genuinely curious. He assumed that if he had a better idea of what she was so afraid of he could come up with a good goofy story on how to defeat them to make her feel better.

But by the way her body tensed up and the grip on her bear tightened he began to believe a funny story wasn't the cure to this fear.

"I-I don't want to tell you about it." She stumbled, voice now shaky and face turning red. Dean instantly took that at his stop sign.

"Okay okay that's fine. Why don't we just sleep then." He hastily offered, not wanting to trigger something neither of them could handle.

It went to silence after he said that, seeing that she had closed her eyes and seemed to be instantly falling asleep. So Dean nodded to himself and shut his eyes as well, feeling the tiredness from before begin to arise once more.

"Can you sing to me?" Her voice echoed off the walls and nearly scared Dean half to death, eyes shooting back open to look down at her.

"W-What?" He spoke trying to catch his breath as he gawked at the little child. She snuggled deeper into his side and he knew she was trying to convince him with her "angelic looks" or at least that's what Bobby called them.

"Sing a song?" She shortened the question this time, obviously just trying to get to the point.

Dean stared at her with a raised brow and nearly slacked jaw, shocked at how good she was with bribing. And the longer he stared, the more he knew he was going to have to sing some song to her.

Clearing his throat best as possible he let out a pitiful sigh before taking a breath.

"Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

I was soaring ever higher

But I flew too high," Dean went to clear his throat of the raspiness but it seemed as though Y/N didn't seem to mind, her eyes now shut once more.

"Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think, I was still a mad man

I hear the voices when I'm dreaming

I can hear them say," Realizing that Y/N’s breath had now slowed Dean took note in lower his vocals.

"Carry on my wayward son

There'll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest..." for some reason Dean caught himself, his voice stopping.

He didn't understand it at all. Why there was this feeling stirring behind his eyes. Why he pulled her closer and made sure there was enough blanket to cover her body. Why this child who irrupted from no where had made such an impact on who Dean was.

Never did Dean think he was going to be a father. Sure maybe on a rare occasion he thought about it, but with the way he was raised and with the life he lived he just didn’t see it as a logical thing to do.

But now here he was, singing Kansas to his 7 year old daughter to help cure her of her nightmares. Who would've thought?

"Don't you cry no more." And with that he finished, knowing there was no need to continue because she was clearly asleep.

He didn't think twice about kissing her forehead or switching off the lamp. After doing both things he just moved further down on the bed so both he and Y/N could rest more comfortably.

Dean never believed in angels or god, because that would mean hope would exist, that good really existed, and neither of each things had Dean really experienced or come to know. But as time went on and the supernatural proved him wrong he began to accept it.

But now, as he laid here with his child in his arms all of that cheesily began to make sense. She had become his new beacon and he wasn't going to let her go.

A scream echoed from down the hallway instantly shocking Dean awake. It was a blood-curdling cry in the dark, one that, if he hadn’t recognized the person it belonged to, would have resembled something from a horror film.

The blankets flew to the side and Dean was barreling out of his room and into the bunker hallway.

Tripping over himself he swiped at his face, rubbing the remnants of sleep away as he hastily made his way to the bedroom in which the screaming was occurring from.

Just as he rounded the corner to the door he knocked shoulders with another body. Grunting as he stumbled back he glanced up to see his younger brother, the same look of sleep ridden panic on his face.

“I-I tried calming her down but–”

“I know Sammy just let me through.”

His younger brother stared at him apologetically, feeling somewhat guilty though no one was at fault here. But he abided Dean’s words moving from the doorway out into the hallway to allow room.

Dean barged in without a so much of a second glance, dashing through the dim lighting until he was at her side.

She was wailing like an animal, hands clawing at her skin as she sobbed into the bed sheets. Her whole body was covered in a sweat, skin burning at the touch. She trembled viciously in her fetal position seeming oblivious to Dean’s presence.

Groans and moans emitted between the yelling causing Dean to flinch. If there was one thing Dean hated the most in this world it was seeing her in pain and knowing there wasn’t much he could do to ease it.

But learning a trick or two from the past couple months of this torchere Dean sat beside her on the bed.

Unexpectedly he picked her up from the mess of damp sheets into his arms, resting her body against his chest and in his lap.

He cooed to her as best as possible, mumbling “it’s okay”’s and “I’ve got you I’ve got you,” to try and tame the pitiful beast she had become.

Dean sighed shakily, tightening his grip on her inflamed body. His eyes moved around the room as he thought to himself until his memory hit him like a brick wall.

“O-Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion

….I was soaring ever higher

But I flew too high,” To say Dean’s voice was quaking was an understatement, the lyrics were practically rattling in his chest. But surprisingly the words seemed to hovering over Y/N’s frail body and hold her. It seemed like it was helping to shut out the noise and the fear.

“Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think, I was still a mad man

I hear the voices when I’m dreaming

I can hear them say,” Dean struggled to ignore the crack in his tone as he sang. But the longer he stared at her the worse he felt. Like he was losing at this job of being a decent parent and it was breaking him on the inside.

He couldn’t ignore it, he couldn’t ignore the tears that pooled in his eyes. She was so..ruined. The girl who was once so pure years ago was now just an absent memory. She had transformed into this: A broken child.

And all Dean could think about was how it must’ve been his fault.

This whole family was cursed, how could it not have been his wrong-doing?

“Carry on my wayward son

There’ll be peace when you are done

Lay your weary head to rest…” He choked mid-lyric.

Her eyes were shut now and the shaking had calmed down enough to keep her from tumbling out of his grasp but it didn’t ease Dean’s conscious. Then again nothing could, not when he saw his own flesh and blood in this way. No…there were no words, no actions that could make him feel better.

But he put his feelings aside because he didn’t have time to worry about himself, not when his daughter was in these conditions.

“Don’t you cry no more.”

Tears spilled, chest ached, and the fault burned.

A sob escaped his lips as he clutched her near lifeless body to his chest, sucking in a deep breath against the crown of her head.

“P-Please…don’t you cry no more.”

A/N: hope you enjoyed this angsty blurb!! I found it in my notes and decided I might as well post it. Send in requests!

#dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester blurb #supernatural #supernatural imagine #father!dean #father!dean imagine #father!dean blurb #dad!dean #dad!dean imagine #dad!dean blurb #Sam Winchester #sam winchester imagine #castiel

[i-just-love-writing-crap]

Getting Stoned

Guys, I'm spamming the shit outta Michael Mell stuff and I'm sorry, I just keep having ideas. Warnings: Marijuana usage, swears, sexual tones, smut mention Word Count: 2351 Y/n/n = your nickname Y/f/b = your favorite band H/l = Hair Length —————————— Monday, Lunch Time; "You know what," you suddenly said in the middle of lunch. Both Michael and Jeremy looked at you as they asked, "What is it, (y/n)?" You slapped your hands onto the lunch table, startling your boyfriend and best friend. "Michael, I'm taking you up on that offer to get…y'know…in your basement with you," you answered, looking Michael dead in his chocolate eyes. Michael's eyes lit up when you said that. Immediately, he jumped up out of his seat and exclaimed, "Hell yeah!! (Y/n), we gotta do this soon!" "Since I'm not a vet like you at this stuff, how about we do it on Friday? After school? Sound good?" you said with a wide grin. Nodding furiously, your boyfriend laughed, "Oh my god! This is gonna be amazing!! I can take you home with me that day and maybe you can stay the night, because why not!" Jeremy laughed at you two, "Does this really sound like a good idea, you two?" "Shut it, Jer! You've done it with him! I've never done it with my boyfriend!" you exclaimed. The taller geek blushed at your words, realizing what they insinuated. "(Y/n)!! Stop and think about what you JUST said!" Jeremy choked out. You stopped and thought about it for a minute until it clicked. Your boyfriend and Jeremy were kind of known as "boyf" "riends" and when you said "it", it made it seem like they have had sex and now it was your turn. Your face turned red and you covered your mouth, as you had said it rather loudly. "W-well…" you started meekly, but after thinking, gained confidence, "I mean, I wouldn't mind if Mikey was bisexual. That would make for some steamy sex! And we already try some kinky shit! Plus, who better to drag into sex than our best friend?!" Jeremy and Michael's face turned bright red at your words. For Jeremy, his face turned red because he had never heard you talk like that—being open to Michael being bisexual and putting forward the idea of a threesome between you three. For Michael, it was basically the same reason just ten times worse—it was embarrassing to hear his girlfriend talk like that. "Okay, okay," your caramel-skinned boyfriend stuttered, blushing. "What? I'm only telling the truth," you smiled. Just before you continue making them uncomfortable, it was something you found funny, the bell rang. "Awww, lunch is over," you pouted. You stood up and kissed Michael's cheek before walking away. "Dude, (y/n) is secretly really freaky in the bedroom, isn't she?" a bewildered, still embarrassed, Jeremy asked his best friend. Michael's eyes never left your figure as you walked away, but he nodded to his best friend and answered, "Yeah… you've no idea, bro." *** Friday, After School; Your mother was entirely fine with you spending the weekend with Michael. God, you loved how chill your mom was. You were waiting out by Michael's PT Cruiser and you leaned against it, pacing back and forth. You were suddenly very nervous, you couldn't remember how you acted when you were high. Were you obnoxious, or maybe really dumb, maybe needy or even worse—REALLY CLINGY? "Oh my God, I'm gonna be really annoying! I'm gonna annoy Michael when I get high," you said to yourself, combing a hand nervously through your hair. "Hey, (y/n/n)!" Michael called as he made his way to his car. "You ready for this?" he asked with a breathtaking smile. Your nervousness seemed to melt away for a brief moment at his smile. "Y-yeah~ I'm ready~" you answered, drawing it out. The dark-haired, caramel-skinned Junior unlocked his car and signaled for you to get in. You gladly hopped into your boyfriend's car and before he could plug in his music, you snatched the aux cord. "Can I play (y/f/b), babe?" you asked so cutely he couldn't say no. "Sure, of course," he answered as he smiled at you. He turned on his car and the two of you were off. As your favorite band played in the background, you broke your singing to ask Michael, "Soooooo… will this, like, KILL me, Mikey?" His eyes flickered to your face for a spilt second as he answered, "Define 'kill', (y/n)." Laughing, you replied, "Like, coughing wise, because dude I haven't gotten high in a while!" "Ooh! Depending on what's going on with your body, like sinuses and shit, you could cough like a smoker," came his answer. "Oh," you spoke in a small voice. That made you that much more nervous. What if you coughed so hard you threw up? You would look like a total pussy in front of your handsome boyfriend and you didn't want that. You started fidgeting in your (h/l) hair, you twirled it around your right index finger and chewed your bottom lip anxiously. But, something inside you knew that Michael wouldn't make it a big deal if you threw up, he would make sure you were fine before he did anything else, like getting high himself. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even notice that Michael pulled into his driveway and shut the car off. Michael brought you out of your thoughts by kissing your cheek as he stood outside your door. "M'lady, we're here," he said with a goofy tone. Shaking your head, you shot him a smile and got out of his car, closing the door behind him. "Thank you, kind sir," you joked back. Michael was giddy and jumping with joy. He had always offered to let you get stoned with him in his basement, but you always declined his offer. This would be his first time getting stoned with you and he was kind of excited to see how you reacted: he really hoped you got incredibly lovey. Noticing you were standing by his door, he walked over and unlocked his door. "Come on, to the basement, (y/n/n)," he said, his giddiness showing through. Walking into his house, you follow him to the basement. It was a geek's paradise down there, retro game systems, retro games, even the new consoles and games. A refrigerator was down there, too, and so was a snack cabinet. A geeky stoner's paradise it was. And what made it even better was that he was with you, that he was the geek you loved and who loved you back. He was the retro geek to your modern geek, and you two molded together so well—personalities and all. You sat on a bean-bag chair that absorbed your body and you sighed in relief, school was hell today. Your (e/c) orbs watch intently as Michael got everything ready. How he broke apart the bud of weed into the joint paper, how he rolled the joint, making sure everything was perfect for your first time smoking in forever. It made you smile at how considerate Michael was being. Lighting the joint, Michael handed it to you. With a smile, he said, "You take the first hit, Miss Sobriety-for-a-year." "Y-you sure, Michael?" you stutter, hesitant to reach out and grab the joint. He nodded and you slowly took the joint from his hand. Your eyes lingered on the joint and your nose crinkled in slight disgust at the putrid smell the burning weed gave off. However, you brought it to your lips and took a deep breath, reminding yourself that you never back out of things. Time seemed to stop when you took your first big hit in a year and a half. The taste stung your throat, making feel scratchy and tingly, and you wanted to get rid of it. You held your breath for a second, passing the joint back to your boyfriend. After only a second, you were sent into a coughing fit. You felt like you were hacking up a fucking lung and you felt like you needed to get mucus out of your lungs and chest. Michael looked at you worriedly and asked, "You okay, babe?" You wave your hand at him, signaling you're peachy, you just couldn't vocalize you were fine because you were coughing and wheezing too much—trying to catch your breath. Before he took a hit himself, he got up and got you a water from the fridge. "Here, drink water, it should help," he said before taking a hit himself. You sat there and gulped down your water. Once your coughing fit ended, you just stared at Michael. Just taking in his handsomeness. The way his dark chocolate hair was styled upwards in his normal hairstyle beckoned you to mess it up. Michael offered you another hit and you took him up on that offer. When you spoke, you sounded different, like there was a weight sitting on your lungs, but they were fine. "Sure, I'll take another hit," you said in a deeper voice. Taking the joint, you took another hit and gave it back to Michael. He laughed and said, "You seem pretty relaxed over there, babe." "Oh, fuck yeah I'm relaxed," you said with a giggle. "I have ever told you how attractive your are?" Michael just blinked at you, sure you had told him he was attractive, but never HOW attractive you found him. He shook his head and you laughed and continued, "You're so gorgeous, Mell. Like, boy, you don't understand the things you do to my body. You make me yearn for everything you can give me and more. Your eyes, oh my god, your eyes! I can see soooooooo much love in this eyes, it makes me so happy." Your eyes were dead-set on his lips and you laughed breathlessly, "And your fucking lips make me weak in the knees! Not only are they always so soft and perfectly kissable, but god the things they do to my body~! Fuck! Like when you ate me out the other day~ Oooooh~ you did it so perfectly, I came so fast. The way your tongue flicked against my clit while your fingers hit my g-spot JUST right, oh my God!" Your body was heating up the more you talked about the wonderful orgasm Michael gave you not even two days ago. Michael's face warmed up as he remembered what she was talking about. "Oh yeah, I remember that. How else am I attractive?" he mused. "Oh my god!! Your dick drives me absolutely wild! The way it fills me up JUST right! Fits snugly into my pussy~ ugh!! Now I want it inside me right now~!!" You spoke. You looked at Michael and his face was beat-red and you smiled, "Oh, I'm sorry, am I turning you on or something? Talking about how you set my body on fire with even a single word." He nodded and said, "Maybe I'm a little turned on." You smiled, stood up and walked over to you boyfriend. Sitting in his lap, you wrapped your arms around his neck. "Want me to take care of it?" you asked in a giggly tone. Michael laughed, kissed your cheek and said, "No, I want to enjoy the high with you, not fucking you." "But then I would be enjoying myself," you said with a grin. Michael kissed you over and over again, "(Y/n), I promise we'll have sex when we both come down from our high. I don't want to ruin it." "Babe~" you cooed, "it wouldn't be fucking ruining it~! Just please fuck me~ fill me up with your love, yeah? Please~ I need it to stay alive~!" He rolled his eyes as he said, "You don't need it to live, (y/n/n), but maybe you can convince me otherwise." You ground your hips against Michael's and you moaned as you felt his excitement growing. "C'mon Michael~ lemme take off your clothes and lemme sink onto you~" you cooed, kissing him on the lips. Michael kissed you back all too eagerly. He placed his hands on your hips and kept you grinding on him. "You're so fucking sexy, (y/n)," he whispered into your lips. "God damn right I am," you said back against his lips as you fingered the hem of his shirt, "Now take off the fucking shirt. And your pants. Or I'll do them for you!" "Show me what you got, (y/n)," he said to you. Taking that as a challenge, you nod, got off his lap, and you started lifting up his shirt (he had discarded his hoodie before you got high). The more skin was revealed, you bent towards the skin of his stomach and placed kisses on his warm flesh. He gasped and you smiled, undoing his pants, you looked up at him and saw him smiling at you. "Lift your hips up so I can take off your damn pants," you said against the flesh of his stomach. He nodded and lifted up his hips so you skillfully ripped off his pants. You always laugh at his boxers, this time it was Pac-Man. "Sexy boxers, Mikey." Michael looked down at you, his eyes had darkened and it sent a shiver down your spine. He was half-hard and you needed to get him harder before anything escalated further. And you REALLY needed it to go further. You had gotten yourself worked up talking about the things he did to you. You smirked and kissed down Michael's navel and palmed him through his cute Pac-Man boxers. He gasped at your touch. *** So, you two had sex while you were both stoned. It was actually some of the best sex you two had ever had. Your body's were hot and ready before you and Michael even began the foreplay. Obviously you both had come down from your high and my god being able to roll over and comb your fingers through Michael's hair. He was still asleep but his dick was awake. "Ooh, look at you, Mikey," you smiled. You woke him up to a really nice blowjob, it was fantastic according to what he groaned as he woke up.

#michael mell x reader #michael mell #michael mell imagine #bmc imagine #bmc #be more chill x reader #be more chill imagine #jeremy heere

[ntshastark]

I SAW JUSTICE LEAGUE!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought I wasn’t even gonna post anything about the movie but then I wrote a fucking essay??

LOTS OF SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

GOOD SHIT

SUPERMAN WAS AMAZING!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! THAT’S HIM, THAT’S MY SON!!!!

 And like, fuck J*ss Wh*don, but I gotta hand it to him that his Supes - and we know it was him bc CGIed mustache - is way better than S.nyder’s (and I didn’t hate his Clark or anything, but this is definitely an improvement)

Him cracking jokes with Victor when they try to separate the unity (WHEN THEY START LAUGHING ABOUT HOW MUCH IN PAIN THEY ARE!!!! HEART EYES MOTHER FUCKER!!!!) and HIS SCENES WITH BARRY LIKE BINCH YES

AND WHEN HE GOT OUT OF THE FIGHT TO SAVE THE CIVILIANS!!!!!!!!! I ALMOST CRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW THAT’S MY FUCKING SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And ofc there were some J.oss™ things that I didn’t like, like that “truth, justice” joke that felt a bit forced and kinda ruined his joining the battle. But, in general, it was the best Superman the DCEU has ever served)

And I hope they keep this on the future, especially when he’s Clark™, like. I get brooding Supes, even if it’s not my preference. People suck, we know. But Clark being goofy and sweet and funny and seeming like he couldn’t hurt a fly is his secret identity. If you’re not gonna show it you might as well not even give him the damn glasses.

And I didn’t find it weird him “suddenly cracking jokes”, like. He died. He came back. He's happy. Let my boy enjoy life.

(And his “I changed my mind. I wanna die.” joke oh my gOD I LOVE HIM)

AND THE PART WHERE HE JUST CAME BACK TO LIFE AND IS SHIRTLESS FOR LITERALLY NO REASON AT ALL AND IS CONFUSED AND FIGHTING EVERYONE AND KICKING EVERYONE’S ASSES!!!!!!!!!! BOI!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEN HIS EYE MOVES!!!!!!!!! AND BARRY’S FACE!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD MY BROTHER HAD TO TELL ME TO CALM DOWN

I’M A SUCKER FOR OVERPOWERED CHARACTERS KICKING ASS THAT’S EXACTLY M Y  S H I T

Ngl I wish it had lasted more bc holy fuck!!!!!!! If they had made Superman the villain of this movie I wouldn’t have complained a t  a l l and I usually hate evil Superman (bc it’s usually evil mastermind dictator which. no. gimme the Superman III I’m-confused-I-hate-everything-I’m-gonna-kick-ass-and-straighten-the-Tower-of-Pisa kind of evil Superman and I’m yours)

I loved Martha. Both her relationship with Lois (I loved how they remained close even after Clark’s death) and with Clark (even tho I’m upset they cut the “I’m taking this as a yes” scene). And, while I’m sad Lois didn’t have a bigger role outside of Clark (which is totally understandable in a movie with this many people), I’m glad they respected her grief. I’ve seen people complaining that they didn’t show badass reporter Lois Lane but uhhh the love of her life just died????? Let her process it on her own terms y’know? And it’s especially hard to focus on her work when they used to work together and everything about her workplace probably reminds her of Clark.

Bruce wasn’t as good as BvS (there were apparently a lot of reshots involving him and some jokes didn’t fit 100% with the character) but still really great. It amazes me how Ben Affleck can deliver such a great Bruce Wayne (by far the best ever in live-action, along with Gotham!Bruce) and still be someone the real Bruce would definitely have to hold himself back not to punch. As a person, I hope he really is leaving the DCEU. As a Bruce fan I’m I hate you don’t leave me dot mp3. Please start drinking your respect women juice. ETA: I came across this article while writing this and now I’m even more pissed, which one of y’all wished on a monkey’s paw for a good Bruce on the big screen????

Anyway.

THAT FIRST BATMAN SCENE IN GOTHAM THO HOLY FUCK I FELT LIKE I WAS WATCHING A COMIC BOOK

THE CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY

Also, remember the scene when Superman comes back and starts fighting 4/6 of the JL but Batman only arrives 3 years later?

Beautiful.

And I’m gonna talk about W*nderbat on the “bad shit” part, but the person who said “It’s hard to tell whether Bruce has a crush on Diana… or Clark.” is so spot-on like holy fuck “GET OVER UR DEAD BOYFRIEND” “NO U GET OVER UR DEAD BOYFRIEND” “NO U GET

And when Clark says “I didn’t know you liked me that much” and Bruce starts fucking stuttering trying to say “I don’t not like you” like we get you’re a 4th grader with a crush.

Btw the “good” part about the W*nderbat is that, while unnecessary, they can easily ignore it later. Diana is still pretty much in love with Steve and Bruce just has a mild crush, which is completely understandable lmao. And I’ve had plenty of friends that in the beginning I’d go for it but now I see them as brothers.

After Wonder Woman, seeing Diana in the hands of men again felt really disappointing - and I’ll definitely talk more about this later - but I did like her character development. It connected WW and BvS, explaining how WW ended on such a positive note but then she spent all those years alone - because she was afraid to connect to mortals again after Steve - and in hiding - because she didn’t want to be a leader or an inspiration and be the cause of people risking their lives - which felt really reasonable and if I didn’t knew WB I’d even think that’s how they planned all along. And then she obviously connects to people, starting in BvS, and on JL she takes a position of leadership (”follow my lead”) and starts being open to inspire people (talking to the kids in the end)

Also she ofc had some pretty badass action moments but my favorite was when she casually drops that she totally knew Victor was by the lake like bINCH!!! A!!!!! WOMAN!!!!!!

I don’t know much about Aquaman but I LOVED HIM IN THE MOVIE!!!!! Especially at the beginning, before he joins the team, so his solo movie is probably gonna be really fucking good.

I didn’t think him joking around with the team felt weird tho, it just felt like he was having fun. Also I loved the lasso scene omg (tho I don’t remember much of what he said bc I was talking to my brother about how weird the sudden “therapy session” was). It reminded me of that scene in the comics when Hal accidentally tangles himself in the lasso and starts talking about how he only does things to show off and Bruce cracks up in the middle of the battle, or something like that. 

AND I HAVE TO MENTION THE SCENE WHERE HE’S DRINKING A BEER AND WALKING TOWARDS THE OCEAN WHILE BADASS MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO!!!! MERA!!!!!!! SHE WAS SO AMAZING I NEED SO MUCH MORE @ AQUAMAN MOVIE WHERE U AT

And (for me at least, idk much about the comics so) from the trailers it seemed like Arthur was already king and Mera was already his wife but we actually get to see him coming back to Atlantis and their first meeting!!! (But ngl it was pretty underwhelming :/ It lasted like 5 seconds. More on this later)

Cyborg was really great!!!! I was already expecting to like him bc I loved him in the Teen Titans cartoon, but he was so different than there and I still loved him!!!!! And I actually remember that on the origins episode of TT he was pretty much like in the JL movie. And what made him start accepting himself and eventually become who we see in most episodes was joining the team so!!!! We’ll probably see that Cyborg eventually!!!!!!!!! My son!!!!!!!!!!!

Upset we didn’t get to see the flashback scenes tho. I hope his movie really does happens to make up for it.

THAT SOFT BOOYAH IN THE END THO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also loved that he was (physically) changing in the end and he’s probably gonna look more smooth the next time we see him (and can we please change Flash’s power ranger costume too? Thx)

AND BARRY WAS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM HE’S MY SON NOW

Like, I’ve never read DC comics so I always see people saying he seems more like Wally than Barry but I can’t say anything on this, all I know is I love him.

Also!!!! I love that they made Barry jewish!!!!!! Comics (especially superhero comics) have such a huge jewish heritage, which is not always respected (especially not lately) so it was really nice! (Also shout-out to when Gal says Kal-El bc her first language is hebrew so I guess that’s the correct pronounce)

Overall, the League characters and their interactions were definitely the strong point in the movie. And that’s always what I prioritize on a team-up movie, so!!!!

BAD SHIT

The movie had two big problems, imo

1. Lack of planning/organization (and a big unplanned change)

First I wanna get out of the way that this whole two-directors thing didn’t really work out. Like, it gave me a great Superman (thx W.hedon) in a movie that doesn’t makes me want to kill the director and then myself (thx S.nyder), but it seems like that was the only plus. It felt too stitched together, the tone kept shifting, idk. Their styles are too different to just add one and then the other and expect things to work out. Maybe if they’d worked together since the begging it could’ve balanced out great (tho it definitely wouldn’t have helped on Problem 2) but that wasn’t the case.

And now the real problem here: The plot really let me down. Like, it’s the first Justice League live-action movie. THE JUSTICE LEAGUE!!!!!!!!!!! And yet, the movie felt underwhelming.

It has a lot of the same problems as Suicide Squad. They tried to introduce a bunch of characters, form a team and go against a villain in 2 hours, it just doesn’t work. Especially when your villain is a Fourth World character like??? Whose fucken idea was this????

If it had been a longer movie, or even a two-parter, where in the first one they form the league and in the second one they fight the villain, it would’ve been AMAZING!! Apparently, the original cut was 3 hours-long, and that was before they even brought in W.hedon, who shot a lot more scenes. And I want so bad to see the original cut (@ WB JUST DO IT), because there were a lot of scenes that didn’t make it (as you can see here and here - and those are not even all of them, I mean, Iris was supposed to be in the movie and everything???), which is also something that happened with SS. Warner Bros keeps ruining great movies by trying to make them short.

And, because of that, a lot of scenes didn’t feel organic, felt like they were just happening to get something out of the way bc it was necessary to the plot. Like the Atlantis scene I mentioned above. It was the first time Arthur came back and he just waltzed in, had his ass kicked by Steppenwolf, talked to Mera, who was apparently in charge, she said “lol that’s ur problem now” and he went back up. Him coming back seemed like such an unimportant thing that I only realized he wasn’t already living there, ruling king and Mera’s husband when she started the prodigal son speech.

Also, the evil Superman bit. A lot of people thought this was gonna be the second biggest thing in the movie, after the main villain and then??? It lasted 5 minutes???? Like, don’t get me wrong, I loved the ressureaction and evil supes scenes SO MUCH, I was fucking DYING on that movie theather, but his whole ressurection felt like such a mindless retcon??? Like, “Oh, damn, we gotta bring Superman back. Throw in a bit with, idk, the mother boxes and some Frankenstein shit. Also make him beat up the League bc it’s cool. But not for too long bc we only have two hours, so just make him come back to normal after seeing Lois.” binch that’s a fix-it fic. And a bad one at that. His resurrection was as rushed as his death and in the end it seemed like none of them had any real impact. The DCEU keeps telling me Superman’s death was a big deal, but failed to emotionally build it up by making people y’know. LIKE HIM. So all those monuments and despair and lack of hope in the world feel fake.

And the villain plot ALSO took a backseat. The whole movie is in the backseat. S.nyder is passed out in the passenger seat and Wh*don is gonna crash the car on purpose because he thinks the airbag feels like boobs. They didn’t explore the New Gods mythos enough, Steppenwolf’s defeat with the frozen axe felt weird, everything went too fast, dropped Darkseid’s name and then used the 2nd post-credits scene to announce that fuck New Gods, now we’re doing Injustice League?????

This movie felt like they dug a Superman-is-dead-Steppenwolf-is-coming-shaped hole in BvS, changed their minds and chose the fucking FIRST LIVE-ACTION JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE to get them out of there! WB keeps biting more than they can chew, trying to do everything at once to keep up with the almost-a-decade-old MCU in one or two 2-hours movies, then getting surprised it doesn’t work out and completely changing the direction. And this isn’t me praising the MCU, fuck them, this is me saying WB should act like the MCU doesn’t exist and do it’s own thing! And hiring the dude that did the first two Avengers movies is the exact opposite of it!!!! And if you’re not gonna ignore the MCU than at least take lessons from what worked in it, like how they structured Phase 1.

I was ok with BvS being confusing to non-comics readers because I thought they were just showing stuff that were going to be explained later and everything was planned ahead. But then Justice League proved me completely wrong. Like, are they ever gonna explain what the fuck was Knightmare or???? The lack of planning regarding the DCEU as a whole is starting to affect the individual movies, and this isn’t good. There’s a Nightwing and a Batgirl movies in the works and yet there was not a single line in JL to explain why Bruce didn’t think of calling the batkids about the possible end of the world, even though one of the directors in JL is (unfortunately) the fucking director of Batgirl!!!! I swear I would’ve be ok with Alfred going “Don’t you think we should call them?” and Bruce saying “If we tell them about this, they’ll want to do something about it. And this is too dangerous.” with no explanation for the scene!!!! It literally takes 10 seconds!!!!! It could’ve been there instead of Diana wearing that weird-ass cape that appeared out of nowhere and playing nurse to Bruce!!!! It could’ve been there instead of Barry fucking falling with his face on Diana’s boobs!!!!! I can’t believe I had to go through this shit again!!!!!!! Fuck you Wh*don!!!!!!!!

EDIT: I JUST REWATCHED ONE OF THE TRAILERS AND THEY FUCKING TOOK OFF THE "AGAIN" AFTER THE "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU PLAYING WELL WITH OTHERS" IN THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!! I THOUGHT I WAS MISREMEMBERING THE TRAILER BUT NO, IT WAS THERE!!!!!!!! @ WB WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WITH MY BATFAM

They’re putting too much stuff for the general public to follow and letting out stuff that comics fans will know it’s missing/not following with stories that comics fans will know aren’t finished. And if they don’t take care of this already, it’s gonna blow up on their faces. And on mine, because I fucking love those movies. Which is why I wanna see them achieve their full potential.

Like, they could’ve made a two-parter, with part one being Bruce and Diana putting the League together (and this takes way longer, especially on the individual characters’ arcs) because they know Evil Is Coming™ (And why is it? Not because Earth suddenly feels hopeless without the dude that flew around for like. two weeks and who half of them were scared of. But because there was an alien invasion that almost destroyed the world. Then a weird monster killed the seemingly-indestructible alien. Then some weird girl destroyed a whole city and transformed a bunch of people into rocks. Everyone is scared. And what are parademons attracted by?). Diana tells them about the mother boxes, they realize Victor has one, Bruce comes up with the plan to ressurect Clark, probably does it alone. Clark comes back but he’s confused, he’s overwhelmed, he’s angry, and he has the power of a god. But now Bruce doesn’t want to kill him, doesn’t want to see him die again. The League fighting against him doesn’t actually takes that much longer than it did in the actual movie, just the length of your usual final battle, Lois is still the ultimate reason why he comes back to his senses, but it takes longer. And then only in the second movie Steppenwolf actually arrives and they actually have the time to properly explore the Fourth World stuff without having to spend half the movie putting the team together.

Edit: If this article is right I’m gonna fucking kill everyone at WB and then myself

2. Sexism

This video says most of it better than I can.

(Disclaimers: I don’t agree with the Cyborg part - ”it’s a date” is a known expression and I definitely didn’t see this “vibe” she mentions.

I loved Diana’s civilian’s clothes and imo saying it’s bad that she’s wearing a low-cut shirt is a bit slut-shaming. And Gal doesn’t even have really big breasts, as fanboys all over the world insist on reminding us, so it doesn’t even look that much revealing, I certainly didn’t notice it while watching. And I say that because I have big boobs and there’s certain things my friends with small ones use that would look a lot revealing on me, but on them looks elegant. Also I only remember one butt shot - which is already one too many, when she was going to meet Victor and wearing pants. In any other butt shots, everyone was being filmed from that angle - but she stood out bc she wears that ridiculous miniskirt that is everything but armor. Edit: I’ve seen a picture of another one - also in civvies - and apparently there was a third one too.

She says that a lot of the things that happened to Diana are Gal’s fault and that she’s gonna talk about it later and then never mentions it again, so I’m still blaming the dudes.)

Also Diana seemed very underpowered??? Like, Clark was kicking hers, Arthur’s and Victor’s asses at same time???? And idk about Victor, but I’ve seen panels of both Diana and Arthur kicking his ass solo so...... (And I‘ve seen people saying it’s bc she didn’t want to hurt him but like. Diana’s whole fighting style is supposed to be based on “Don’t kill if you can wound, don’t wound if you can subdue, don’t subdue if you can pacify” so??? Like, he definitely wasn’t getting pacified, time to try subdue and all). And not just this scene, idk, maybe it’s just bc the last movie with her I watched was WW. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that...

Also I just wanna say that I’m pissed this movie is reminding me too much of AoU. They shoved the only female character on the team in a random relationship that wasn’t even canon in the comics (even if W*nderbat has a lot more basis in both the comics and the DCEU than Br*cenat) because god forbid a woman ever be single. And also had a guy fall face-fist on her boobs because why fucking not, right??? Also “I’m always picking up after you boys” vs “Children. I work with children.” as the faux-feminism bow wrapping up the box of misogyny. Plus, y’know the thing in the video I linked about Wh*don shooting the boob scene in JL with a body double? He did the same fucking thing with the Br*cenat kiss. And honest to god, shortly after Wh*don took over, I talked to a friend about how I was afraid he was gonna put W*nderbat in the movie, bc, after all, he took Br*cenat out of his fucking ass and managed to get it on the screen. I can even link you to the conversation. He’s that predictable.

And when I first got out of the cinema after AoU I loved it. I was all gushing about the character interactions bc ‘omg!!! they’re finally acting like a team!!! they’re friends!!!’ even if the plot was meh, and I’m so afraid of ending up hating this movie as much as I hate AoU.................

CONFUSING SHIT

THE GREEN LANTERN IN THE FLASHBACK!!!!!! WHY ISN’T THERE A GREEN LANTERN ON THIS SECTOR ANYMORE @ DCEU EXPLAIN

Diana can’t go back to Themyscira??? And why can’t the other Amazons leave??? If you leave you can’t come back anymore or something????

Atlanteans can’t talk underwater???

On the second end credits I thought the bald dude was actually Luthor, Sr. actually being alive, but I’ve since been informed that that was a random guy covering up Lex’s escape.

And this one is silly but DC is giving me conflicting information. Batcat is out there getting engaged in the comics and then you let Wh*don throw in a bunch of random W*nderbat scenes, no matter how mild, in the JL movie when Selina is supposed to exist in the DCEU, considering the GCS movie in the works........... Quit playing games with my heart........

And one thing worth mentioning that I wasn’t really confused about, but that I’m confused on how I feel about it: WAYNE MANOR BECOMING THE JL HEADQUARTERS HOLY FUCK?????? I’m not even still sure on how I feel about Wayne Manor being abandoned in the first place....... On one hand I want that house full of martial arts-trained kids with black hair and I want it now. But on the other I’m glad it’s at least not gonna be abandoned anymore. Also, what about the Watchtower???

FINAL CONSIDERATIONS

I wouldn’t say it’s a great movie. It’s an ok movie with a lot of great moments. And literally full with great characters. There were some poorly-timed (and occasionally just plain bad) jokes but tbh I was just glad they didn’t make up half the dialogue. The DCEU needs to get it’s shit together and WB needs to release S.nyder’s cut of this movie.

#jesus this is............. really long.......... #f: dc #g: dc live-action #u: dceu #s: justice league #c: sexism #c: misogyny #t: talk post #mari rants #anti whedon for ts #anti wonderbat for ts #i literally censured both of those words through the whole post and now i go and put them in the tags.............. anyway #(it's not really anti w/onderbat btw; it's anti the act of adding the scenes) #jl spoilers #lbr i wrote the 8th hp book about this movie and it's flaws #but if you see me on the street and ask me if i liked it my only response would be scream #DC OWNS THIS MF ASS #at the top of my lungs