#but I’m already technically past my deadline lol

[dayseternal-blog]

If you ever finish answering all of yours awaiting asks...

45 questions for you 👀

https://myaekingheart.tumblr.com/post/650107314353897472/fic-writer-ask-game

Lolllll BADLUCKBREBIS, you are so funny.

Inspiration and Reading Asks:

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

It looks like I started writing in 2017. I've been reflecting recently on how there are so many regularly active writers now compared to in 2017-2018. It was the tail-end of some of my fave writer's activity within fandom. Utsus was posting less and less. The Tumblr NaruHina fandom seemed to disappear, a whole community of writers left for other things (matchaball, nekomamoru, magmawrites, cherryjutsu, spyder-m, tenney-shoes, eliphya, among others). 2018 was a very quiet year, but! I avidly read katarinahime and bunnyhoodlum's works! In 2019, quirrrky restarted things with NaruHina Week!

2. How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

Recently I’m primarily a reader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there's so many writers now!!!!!!!!

3. Are there any fics that inspired you to write what you do?

Yeah, let’s list them.  “A Special Friend” by agitosgirl inspired “Nightdreams.  “Medicine” by @grimmjowkurosakidrake​ inspired “White Lilies.  “Torch Song” by @mmmbuttery inspired “About You.”  The language in “Unless the World Were to End” by @bunny-hoodlum​ inspired the language in “That was the plan.”  “In Between Drinks” by @peppercornpress inspired “In Between Drinks NH.”

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

“Operation: Bring Home Naruto” by Dragonwannabe - Rated T, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata's been assigned the mission of getting Naruto back home safely after his last dangerous assignment. But can she handle the undercover identity as his girlfriend that she’d been given without revealing her true feelings for him?

“The Mission” by Lunawraythe - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. It wasn't that Hinata never expected to work with Naruto, just never on a mission quite like this.

“The Loving Type” by @peppercornpresses - Rated M, Canon-Divergent, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. A few years have passed since the Fourth Shinobi War, in which...Rookie Nine steadily advances in rank. Naruto gets engaged. Hinata leaves Konoha. And Kakashi schemes for days.

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

ahhh.  I do have quite a few pet peeves.  If the fic is Canon-Compliant or Canon-Divergent, I expect Naruto and Hinata to behave like Japanese people.  Say what you want, but the Naruto Universe is definitely Japanese in my book.  So that means no shoes in the house.  Nothing rattles me more than reading Hinata taking her sandals off before climbing into bed.  Like, what?  she was wearing her outdoor shoes indoors this whole time??

mmm... another pet peeve is when the writer describes Hinata in a kimono, but it sounds like an American Halloween costume, like the slutty version, instead of an actual kimono.

mmm... and the other big pet peeve I have is when it’s Hinata’s first time eating ramen because Naruto is showing her the wonders of ramen.  lol.  why.  how.  in what world would a Japanese person make it to their teenage years without ever eating ramen.

I have a bunch of other little pet peeves regarding Japanese culture in fanfics.  But in general, it doesn’t stop me from reading the fic if I'm already in the middle of it.  I’ll continue reading it and will probably recommend it to other people anyway. If I can tell based on the summary, then it's not for me, and I don't read it. If this makes anyone feel nervous about writing fanfiction, that's not my intention! I would also be happy to be a sensitivity reader if necessary.

6. How do you find new fic to read? Where do you primarily read fanfiction?

I primarily read fanfics on AO3 and ffnet.  I find new ones by constantly checking the Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto tag on AO3 or looking into a writer’s favorites list on ffnet.

7. Do you prefer to read short fics or long fics?

Short fics.

8. How often do you reblog/comment on fics that you like?

I reblog pretty often. I don't comment as often as I used to😕 I used to comment on every fic I liked.

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

Uhh?? Idk. I think recently the writing group here is pretty tight, everyone seems to know everyone.

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Naruto fandom and NaruHina.

Fanfiction Writing Asks:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

I usually take it from words used in the story or from the prompt.

12. Tell the author your favorite fic title of theirs (not the fic, strictly title). Author: what’s your favorite title you’ve come up with and why?

I think...maybe "Tell Me of Forevers" or "Nightdreams." I like those because they aren't taken word-for-word directly from the story, but touch on a theme in the story.

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

Yes, I outline. They wouldn't get a headache, I think. It's usually just a summary.

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not?

Nope. I didn't know people do that.

15. Tell the author your favorite fic of theirs. What’s your (the author’s) favorite fic you’ve written?

My favorite fic continues to be "It's No Secret."

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

Yes, I do. I've done historical and folktale research for "Little Samurai." I did area/location research for "Last Chance." I did historical research for "About You." I did fairy tale research for "Catskin." I did a ton of astronomy research for "The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl." And I did lighting research for "Inspo." I go pretty deep.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

I don't. I usually have something else I need to do or I go to bed.

18. Do you have a WIP that you keep telling yourself you’ll eventually get back to, but deep down you know that’s probably a lie?

I actually think I can finish all of mine if I just try.

19. Do you edit your fics after you write them, or do you prefer to just hit post and run (because it’s someone else’s problem now)?

I always edit before posting to AO3. Anything I post directly on Tumblr might not be edited.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Posting!

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Starting a new chapter.

22. Do you take fic requests? If so, for what characters and why?

On occasion. If someone sends me a request, I'll think about writing it. Sometimes I do write and post it, sometimes I leave them in my drafts for a better day.

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

From what I already have posted, probably friends-to-lovers, secret relationship/forbidden love, or high school au. I don't think I have an intentional favorite.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Public humiliation / public degradation.

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

No, not usually.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

Tumblr feed, all the pictures to scroll through mindlessly.

27. Do you like to give your readers some warning of what might be coming or just slap them in the face with content at random?

lol, whatever is fine.

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

Well, pressure to update is not a big deal to me. I do this for fun, so I don't think I unnecessarily pressure myself too much. With negative comments, I don't get too many of those, and I think I do my best to avoid situations where I might get negative feedback.

29. Have you ever written for an exchange or event of some kind? Which one(s)? Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, I like the events. My favorite was NH2020, the year-long one last year. I also enjoyed the Secret Santa last year since @badluckbrebis was my giftee.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

haha😈

Ecstasy slides through his veins, blooming over his mind, cocooning him in pleasant sensations, cum shooting out in eager twitches against hot, milking flesh.

31. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

Naruto Uzumaki, always.

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

Top 3 faves in order:

That was the plan: "She shifts in his arms, and cloth and cleavage come pillowing up to his face, and he’s certain that she’s scooped from the same puffy stuff his adolescent daydreams were made of."

Tell Me of Forevers: "What he wouldn’t do to inspire every blush, every smile of hers for an eternity when such moments already only speak “forever” to him."

White Lilies: "Whether at his feet, in his eyes, ears, mind, if not reaching his heart, she never landed anywhere. (It’s okay.)"

I consider "White Lilies" to have my technically best writing, so it was kind of hard to choose just one line from that fic! But I decided that one's my favorite line from the whole story.

33. What do you like writing better: one shots or multi-chapter stuff?

One-shots.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

A lot of my life experiences are in my writing. Hmm, I think readers probably think I'm...hmm...either empathetic or really perverted?

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

I spend a lot less time on real-life social media than before.

36. Are there any fics or fandoms you’re embarrassed to have written or been part of?

I'm kind of embarrassed of "Honeymoon at the Hot Springs" lol. It's fine.

37. Give an update on your current WIP - if you don’t have one, give a sneak peek to a title or idea that you have and would like to write.

My current WIP is that A/B/O fic I started for February Smut Month Prompts: Sweet as Candy or Love Bites. I'm going to title it "Sweet As," and it'll be about how Naruto and Hinata become Alpha/Omega mates. It's really kinky, really smutty, and totally what I would want to read.

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

uhh???? a 1?? I've never once thought of my writing process as chaotic. Ahh, then I think of bunnyhoodlum's multiple drafts for the same chapter, and I realize that there exist types of writing processes that I would not be able to handle...

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

My smut.

40. How did you come up with the idea for [x fic]?

41. What’s your most popular fic (with the most notes on tumblr, most hits/kudos on ao3)?

Idk about Tumblr,,, maybe White Lilies got the most attention here. My most popular fic is Nightdreams on AO3.

42. Asker: pick three of the author’s works. Author: rank them 1 (the best) - 3 (the worst) based on whatever criteria you want - this could be something totally random that isn’t quality related (like simply ranking fics based on how many trains appear in them) - have fun!

43. Talk about a positive experience with fanfiction or the fanfiction community that you will always remember.

I will always remember how people congratulated me for finishing White Lilies😭 Also, when peppercornpresses made that FIRST art of my story, I just, I just stared at it all day.

44. Rant about something writing related.

hmmm, I don't feel like ranting about anything. I just recently ranted about my pet peeves above.

45. Fic specific questions - if you have any weird questions about specific works, here’s your shot to ask them!

I did them all! Nice questions.

#anon #*anon* #fic writer ask game #i will send these questions right back at you

[littlegiantposts]

pilot (~revised~)

Kageyama x f!reader

may contain spoilers!

description: In which Y/n is a new addition to Karasuno’s Girl’s Volleyball Club

warning: I’m sure there are some curse words in there.

A/N: yeah so there is another version of this on my blog, but that was really like a test run/rough draft, so here is the revised one that I like better and I added more scenes. ALSO, just ask if you wanna be added to like a taglist. I already stated this in the previous pilot post i will state it again to make sure. 

This started off as just as a nice story to play in my head, but I really wanted to see if I could write it down. First things first, I am raised in California. Thus, I am quite incompetent in knowledge about Japan schooling. All my knowledge is really from me googling stuff and ofc, watching haikyuu. With that said, if I made a mistake on the take of Japan schooling, I do not mean to cause any offense. This is solely for entertainment purposes. With that said, I do not own the characters of haikyuu. However, there are some characters I made up with my own imagination. In addition, this is an “x reader” sort of story but I will be defining some of her characteristics so I am sorry if it hinders you from imagining its you. Finally, I am not that good at writing stories lol but im trying. I hope you enjoy.

I hate introductions. Y/n thought to herself as she sat back down in her seat after standing in front of the class, stating her name and her previous school. Her gaze shifted towards the window. The sun was out and shining and she had the perfect view of the gymnasium. Oh how she just wanted to get up from her uncomfy chair and leave the boring lecture and head towards the gym. 

It was the first day of school for Y/n at Karasuno High. It’s not like she started in the middle of the semester, no, she was just about a month late into the school year. With her work ethic, she didn’t feel any pressure in order to catch up with everyone else. She knew she would get it done.

It’s not really her fault she came a bit late into the school year either. Her dad’s job required a small move, not that she was complaining. She didn’t really feel tied down at her old high school because: she wasn’t there for that long and she didn’t really make any friends, despite joining a sport. 

It’s not that she didn’t want to make friends. It seems that her track record, or the lack thereof, from junior high with meeting new people has left an imprint on her.

Y/n looks down at the worksheet that was passed out in the beginning of class. The assignment was already completed due to Y/n’s eagerness to finish any homework that would take away time from her main passion.

Some people would say she was obsessed. Some would say dedicated. She simply sees volleyball as an opportunity. The class bell rings, signaling for lunch. Before she realizes it, she is walking towards the gym, in which she would meet the girl’s volleyball captain. As she is switching shoes, she can hear screaming from inside. 

“-What did I tell you about touching my onigiri! You are going to pay for that!” “I really didn’t mean it this time, I promise! I didn’t know it was yours!” The voices were muffled, yet she was still able to hear the sincerity in both of the voices. Y/n was about to open the gymnasium’s door when the door swung open by a tall pink-haired girl. She was being chased by another tall girl with long blonde hair, but she was a bit shorter than the pink one. Before Y/n could process stepping aside because it seemed the pink-haired girl had no inclination in stopping, she was tumbled to the ground by the girl who she can only guess took an onigiri without permission. As well, the blonde clumsily tripped and fell on top of the two.

“You idiots! Will you stop it! We already told you, we got a guest coming today and we want to make a good first impression!” A stern voice called out inside the gym.

“Um, Moa-san, I think our wishes are already soiled.” Another voice chimed in from the gym.

“Wha- You dumbasses! Hey, are you okay?” A girl with dirty blonde hair came out from the entrance and offered a hand towards Y/n as the two perpetrators started to get up with apologies towards Y/n. 

“Yeah, I am good.” Despite just being tackled to the ground, Y/n remains as neutral as ever. 

“Aren’t you going to ask if we are okay?” The energetic, pink haired spoke.

“As if I care when you collide into our guest! You really need to be more cautious, Etsuko!” She barked. “I am Aihara Moa. Pleasure to meet you. You’re the first year that turned that application past the deadline, right?” she states more calmly than her previous statement. 

“Pleasure is all mine. And, yes. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Y/n states with quite the unfazed face. 

Does this kid crack a smile once in a while? Moa asked in her mind. She seems quite different than the other first years we have. Her thoughts continue.

“I am Oba Yuma and this is Morita Etsuko.” Yuma, who had the pretty, long blonde hair, spoke with a warm smile.

“Why did you introduce me?! I wanted to have a cool introduction!” Etsuko huffed with a small pout. 

“Well, it’s not like you can recover your so-called ‘cool introduction’ from that full-body collision.” Yuma smoothly replied. Etsuko’s eyes widened and cheeks heated up as she couldn’t come up with a sly comeback to her logic. 

“You guys are just lucky that Rinko isn’t here to scold you.” Moa warned the 2 first years. With the mention of the scary third year that wasn’t even the captain, yet she reigned supreme in the disciplinary department, they shivered at the thought of the punishment. 

As Y/n stepped further into the big, bright court, she spotted that she could only assume was the captain as she looked so appalled at what happened. 

“Hello, you must be Michimiya Yui.” Y/n knew she had to say something to pull the worried captain from her thoughts. 

“Hi! Yes, that’s me! I am so sorry for those two. I would say they aren’t always like that, but I don’t want to lie to a potential teammate.” Yui spoke with an uneasy smile.

Yuma and Etsuko’s interests peaked when they heard “a potential teammate” come out of their captains' mouths. They were the only first years on the team, so the thought of another person in the same boat as them made them excited and wanted to join the conversation. The two first years gave each other a look and started to walk towards Yui, and hopefully their new friend. However, before they could even be in ear-shot, the pair got pulled away by Sasaki Chizuru, another third year.

“Oh, no. Don’t think you will be bombarding her with questions right off the bat.” She bluntly states.

“Oh, c’mon Sasaki, aren’t you curious about her? Like how did she get into volleyball? Or even, is she a beginner? Or maybe she is an absolute monster who dominates the court!” Etsuko proclaimed as her mind went too fast for her mouth to follow.

“As of right now, it’s not our business. All we can do, and are allowed to do”, emphasizing the word ‘allowed’, “is to watch from the sidelines and quietly eat our lunches.” Chizuru instructed the first years and pointed at the far corner of the gym. 

Despite her own words, Chizuru couldn’t help but glance at Y/n and wonder the same things that the first year questioned. At face value, Y/n was quite the enigma. The 2 first years gave a pout, but headed towards their desired location.

“So, you came from Niiyama Girls' High? That’s a really good school for volleyball. What made you come to Karasuno?” Yui asked.

“It was the most ideal school in terms of my dad’s work location.” Y/n states plainly. She didn’t technically lie. It was an ideal school in terms to the proximity to her new apartment, but that was not the only reason. She saw videos of their interhigh-prelims last year and to be quite frank, Y/n was not entirely impressed with the state of their team. However, she knew that this meant there was room to grow for them. She knew very well that she could have gone to Shiratorizawa and joined their girls’ volleyball. Objectively, with her skill set, Shiratorizawa made sense. Nonetheless, Y/n didn’t know what compelled her to pick this one. She convinced herself it was because she is a sucker for rooting the underdog. 

Does this kid show any emotion? Yui thought in her mind. It’s like nothing affects her. 

“How long have you been playing volleyball?” Yui curiously asked.

“Since the 2nd grade.” Y/n quickly states. As much as she wasn’t showing it, she was just itching to show what she can do. The court was right there in front of her, after all.

“That’s impressive, alright, well if you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to see some serves and sets from you. After school, we can hold a three on three since we all aren’t really in the right clothes to play.” 

“Sounds good.” To say Y/n was excited would be an understatement. As she removed her cream sweater, she could feel a set of eyes burning a hole on her back. She turned around to put her sweater down and realized that she was wrong. It wasn’t one pair of eyes, it was all of them, curious to see how good she really is. She could feel her heart pounding at the thought of holding everyone’s attention. She knew if she let her mind continue, the nerves would get to her and hinder her performance. She took deep breaths and started to quietly humm a song that was previously playing on her phone from her morning ride to school. 

Yui passed a volleyball to her and ran to the other side of the net, and yelled, “Let’s see what ya got!”

Y/n carried herself behind the serve line, taking one deep breath to keep her hands from shaking. With that exhale, she opened her eyes and focused her sights on Yui. The captain wouldn’t admit it, but she could already feel herself sweating under the first year’s gaze.  

She looks so intimidating. I’m not even on the court, yet I’m scared. Yuma viewed Y/n’s determined look. For Y/n, it was as if everything crumbled away and the only thing remained was the court. She starts her run up.

A jump serve?! Yuma, Etsuko, and Chizuru incredulously thought simultaneously with eyes basically bugging out of their head. They watch in amazement as she jumps with severe height and reeled her arm back. After that, all that could be sensed was a loud snap and then the ball smacked the ground next to the wide-eyed captain. The impact from the ball gave a small breeze through Yui’s short hair. The deafening silence that followed her serve filled the room in an instant. Those watching from the sidelines had to pick up their jaws from the floor.

“She’s a first year?! Are you sure?!” Etsuko broke the silence with her curiosity getting the best of her. 

“Boke Etsuko! That was already clarified, don’t make her repeat herself!” Yuma scolded. While Yui read your capabilities on your application form, it was nothing like actually being on the receiving end in real time. 

“That’s quite a serve she got in her arsenal.” A voice startled the three high school students, sitting on the sidelines. Etsuko and Yuma were the most startled, but Chizuru was quite used to her fellow classmate popping in every now and then.

“Seriously, Sudou. We have to put a bell on you or something because I don’t think my heart can take any of your surprise entrances.” Sudou Rinko only slyly chuckles at Etsuko remark. She looks over at Y/n and Yui on the court.

“Did you guys see the precision on that serve?” Rinko posed to the other three sitting on the ground, munching on their lunch.

“Well, not really, but it landed, like, near Michimiya, right?” Etsuko tries to come up with the answer that Rinko was looking for. 

“It landed right next to her left foot. I think that pipsqueak is able to aim her serve.”

“What?! That’s insane.”

“Yeah, insane, but not impossible.”

“With her, maybe we can win more games!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Etsuko, a team is only good if everyone is giving their all.” Yuma reminds. “After all, there’s not only one person on the court, there’s six.”

“I heard she came from Niiyama Girls' High.” Sudou stated as she reverted her gaze back to her fellow teammates. They stared at her after she gave more information on the stranger in their gym. 

“Why would she come to Karasuno then?” Yuma asked honestly. She knew that her team had strengths, but she also knew that other teams had strengths that overpowered them.

“How could you diss your own school like that?” Etsuko was almost angry at how her teammate was treating their school. She always was the one to take pride in everything she does. 

“No, that’s a valid question. It makes sense that a player with her caliber would be well-suited in a powerhouse school.” Rinko supported Yuma in her question. All four look ahead and see that Y/n is beginning to set for Yui.

“Her precision and accuracy are so on point, it almost makes me sick.” Yuma commented on how your form for setting only held the necessities. Y/n stepped with purpose, and it showed as she passed a nice set for Yui, allowing her to have optimal choices in where she can place her spike.

The bell rang, ending lunch. Etsuko couldn’t wait for practice. She wanted to play against Y/n on the three on three. As for Yuma, she always wanted to learn how to set, but with her grand height, most people would assume she would be great as a spiker. Everyone started to pack their belongings up, heading to their respected classes. Y/n started to head towards class 1-5. Etsuko and Yuma caught up with Y/n, standing on the sides of her.

“Do you guys need something?” Y/n poses the question bluntly, yet she was quite startled. Y/n never expected to have people purposefully come up to her.

“Yeah, where did you learn to serve like that? It’s crazy!” Etsuko praises.

“Don’t you remember what Sasaki said? Don’t crowd her with questions, dumbass!” Yuma scolded, which Etsuko already had an irritated look on her face.

“It’s only one question! It’s not like she’s going to fall apart by it, and I just wanna know because I want be strong as well!” Etsuko’s vain on her forehead looked like it was having a field day.

“Yeah, like that would ever happen.” Yuma remarks.

“What did you just say?! I’m going to make you eat your words!” 

“Ooo Frenchie has me shaking in my boots” Yuma taunts with the famous pink haired character from Grease. Etsuko started to jump at Yuma. Because Y/n was between them, she raised an arm.

“Please do not fight, you may cause a ruckus.” Y/n chimed in. The first years returned to their previous spots. Etsuko huffed a little and crossed her arms and slightly turned her head away.

“So, what class are you in? I am in class 1-4. I don’t think I have seen you in the hallways.” Yuma tries to maneuver the conversation to something other than volleyball. Y/n was honestly confused. It’s been awhile when someone her age, someone in her grade asked her a genuine question about herself. She almost felt it was some sort of joke.

“Um, I have class 1-5. And that’s because today’s my first day. Transferred a bit late.” Y/n had pauses in between her words, still not used to people going out of their way to talk to her.

“Woah! You must be pretty smart! That’s a college-prep class, right?” Yuma genuinely comments with a warm smile. Y/n nods, complements on stuff other than volleyball made Y/n short-circuit. The trio walks inside the main school building, the air condition changing the atmosphere. Y/n didn’t notice, but she received some stares from other students as the three walk through hallways. While Y/n remained oblivious, Yuma and Etsuko realized immediately and looked at each other with perplexed looks, not because of the stares that were directed towards you, but the fact that you seemed unfazed by it. 

“Woah, who is that? She’s really pretty.” a student spoke to their friend.

“She’s new I’m pretty sure.” another commented.

“I heard she has a famous dad. She’s like loaded.”

“I wonder if she’s taken”

“I heard she came from California.”

“Someone told me she’s snooty.”

“Her looks certainly make up for it”

“Why is she hanging out with those weird volleyball girls?���

Etsuko physically jolted at that last comment, anyone can physically see the irritation on her face. She turned her head towards the voice of the last comment, wanting to immediately put them in their place. On the other hand, Y/n was too much in her head at the moment.

Shoot, I haven’t asked them a question. Well, that’s what I should do, right? That’s what friends do? Wait, we aren’t even friends, I just met them. They probably think I’m weird. Oh great, now I haven’t said anything for the past 3 minutes. They probably think I don’t like them. Y/n felt that this was weird foreign territory. 

“So, what’s your favorite subject?” Y/n broke the silence, just wanting to say anything to make sure that her two future teammates knew that she was still invested in this conversation.

Are you serious, Y/n?! No one wants to talk about school, that’s so lame! They probably think you’re a smart ass. Uhg. You’re terrible at this. Y/n wanted to groan and bow her head in shame, but all she could do is hold her head high and follow through with her question.

“I like math, and you won’t get an actual subject out of Etsuko, she will probably say something stupid like lunch.” Yuma answered.

“Hey! Why do you keep answering for me?! I am fully capable of answering!” Etsuko barked at her snarky teammate.

“Yeah, your English grade can clearly vouch for you.” Yuma sarcastically stated. Etsuko looked like all the blood from her face left, looking quite pale due to her not so great English grade. Y/n didn’t realize it, but a small smile was on her face as she saw the two interact.

“Well, this is my stop, And, Etsuko, your stop was awhile ago.” Yuma stated as she didn’t really know if she should just send a wave your way or a handshake because Y/n seemed so formal. She settled with a pat on the back. Etsuko copied Yuma, but her pat was a bit more forceful and it really just turned into a smack. Y/n didn’t say anything, but noted that Etsuko has one hell of an arm on her. 

“I already knew that! I wanted to talk to our new friend!” Etsuko looked like she was going to cross her arms and stomp her foot like a small child throwing a tantrum. Y/n stopped her walking when she heard the word “friend” come out of Etsuko’s mouth. Y/n turned to look at Etsuko and Yuma with a surprised look. Etsuko and Yuma instinctively thought they misspoke and perhaps angered you.

“We’re friends?” Y/n held a pause between the two words. Her incredulous face kept switching eye contact between the 2 first years in front of her. “You don’t even know if I will be your teammate yet.” Y/n stated. Etsuko bursted out in laughter and it caused Y/n’s face to turn beet red, embarrassed. Yuma’s face looked like she wanted to backhand Etsuko, but before she could, Etsuko spoke “You don’t have to be our teammate for us to be friends! There isn’t criteria the last time I checked to be friends. Besides, you’re really cool!”

Yuma retracted her arm, despite Etsuko being a dumbass, she somehow always knew what to say in awkward situations. Y/n felt something that spread through her chest. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling. Etsuko and Yuma bid there goodbye’s to Y/n, leaving her to get to her class. The feeling in her chest was not new, it’s just a feeling that she has not felt in a long time.

Y/n sat down in her seat and pulled out her notebook. Everyone started to take their seats. Right before the teacher reached to close the door, a short girl with a small blue hair tie in her short blonde hair just managed to slip through the door. She was out of breath and sweaty, muttering an apology and quickly sat at her desk, which was coincidentally on Y/n’s left side. The teacher began lecturing, instructing to open a page in their textbook.

The end of the school day approached rather quickly. Because of her most recent interaction with Etsuko and Yuma, she couldn’t wait for the three on three. Specifically, who would she be playing against. While thinking of possible offense moves to coordinate, Y/n grabs her volleyball bag from her locker and makes her way to the girl’s gym. The door was already open and she peaked through to make sure there was no way she will be tackled again. She makes eye contact with a girl with short black hair, which she vaguely remembers as Sudou Rinko. 

“Hello! I’m sorry I am a bit early, I just wanted to get a head start in warming up because I do take awhile for those.” Y/n quickly explains with a hint of timidness.

“That’s alright! I already setted up the net so you’re welcome to warm up in here or outside, whichever you prefer.” Sudou stated, making sure she didn’t seem to overbearing as others perceive her to be. 

“Okay, thank you. I do prefer outside.” As much as Y/n’s face held a deadpan look, she was nervous in front of the third year. She didn’t know if she could just head out or bow. Unfortunately, she went with the latter. Sudou cheeks turned red. She didn’t really expect that, I mean in her eyes, she’s just a third year. But, your formality was appreciated.

“Heh, no need to be so formal. I’ve seen what you can do even without warming up, and we would be lucky to have you on our team.” Sudou reassured.

Now it was Y/n’s turn to turn slightly red. She’s new to accepting genuine compliments. So, all she did was a weird salute with a firm nod of her head, and headed out.

That kid has an interesting way of interacting with people. Sudou thought to herself. Hopefully, she’ll be able to open up more. Sudou busied herself by warming up as well.

In the meantime, Y/n found a spot near the side of the gym where there were no trees and the sun just perfectly drenched the scenery with natural light. It was as if the sun placed a golden film over everything and settled on a calm atmosphere. Here, Y/n began stretching. 

After awhile, Y/n was tossing a volleyball up in the air, getting comfortable with how the ball fit perfectly in her hands as she set it in the air. After a couple of sets, she got into the rhythm of bumping, setting, and spiking against a wall. While she was focused on the ball, out of her peripheral vision, she notices someone. After a spike, rather than bumping it, she catches it.

“If you are going to stare any longer, I expect a name out of you.” Y/n stated with a calm yet stern tone while still staring at the wall in front of her. 

“I-I’m sorry. You just seem so focused.” The stranger spoke.

Y/n closes her eyes, when she opens them, she turns to look at the stranger. He’s tall, way taller than her. He’s got a beard and his hair is pulled into a tight bun. If Y/n didn’t know any better, she would have assumed he was a teacher, but he was wearing a school uniform after all. With her eyes set on him, it was as if the guy visibly shook in fear and eyes widened.

“Well, you have to be, in an actual game of course.” Y/n responded.

“You play?” The mysterious guy asks. He does have a calming voice for someone who looks like the opposite.

“In order for me to answer, you should give me your name. I’ve been taught to not talk to strangers.” 

“Oh r-right. I’m Azumane Asahi.”

There was a beat of silence as Y/n kept staring at him, deciding how she should approach this conversation. In Asahi’s eyes, he thought she was judging him and he started to wonder why didn’t he just mind his own business. 

“Yes, I play.” Y/n answered his previous question. Asahi perked up at her answer like a little puppy. 

“You seem like you’re really dedicated.” Asahi offered his observation to her. Y/n chuckles. Asahi’s eyes widened once more at the sudden reaction out of the girl.

“I’m guessing you play as well.” Asahi was dumbfounded at your observation. He was scared at how you were able to pick that up quickly.

“H-how did you-”

“Someone who is able to easily recognize the dedication in one person, also finds that same dedication within themselves” 

Damn, this girl is wise. Asahi thought.

“However, volleyball was just a guess.” Y/n continued. “And I was lucky enough to be right.”

“Well, I don’t know about that.”

Y/n looked at him again. Y/n wasn’t one to let someone divulge into their personal life. Mainly because no one really came up to her for advice since she was quite the nonchalant person. However, if today is any indication, it seems her social interaction skills has been given a second shot. Y/n analyzed Asahi’s troubled face.

“Are you having an internal battle?”

How unfortunate that you phrased it that way, Y/n. Jeez. You can be so formal sometimes. Y/n scolded herself.

“Yeah, of some sorts.” Asahi responded with a puzzling look at the ground.

“About volleyball?” Y/n specified.

“Uh, yeah.” he reluctantly responded.

“What’s up?” Y/n knew that was more informal and she mentally high-fived herself for talking like a normal teenager.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah”

“Have you ever not wanted to do something because you failed at it?”

A beat of silence.

“No.” Y/n said confidently. However, she knew what he was trying to ask, so she added, “But, I’ve felt frustrated at it before.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Well, tell me, can you be frustrated at something yet you want keep trying it?”

Asahi didn’t respond, just thinking of what she said.

“The answer is yes, by the way. Volleyball is a sport where you are constantly improving yourself, just like any other sport really.” Y/n started to blabber on. “Volleyball provides that uncomfortable tension of not being enough. For some people, it discourages them completely, leaving them to quit or be stagnant. But, there are rare cases where the person is strongly encouraged by it. Those are the people who really do succeed.”

Asahi was deep in thought as he processed your words. As Y/n looks at Asahi, he looks like he’s going to hurt himself if he thinks any harder. 

“Here, stand over there. Let me set for you.” Y/n commanded. Asahi Looks up, “h-how did you know I spike?” At this point, he thought you were some sort of psychic.

Y/n shrugs, “Only an ace would have that mindset and label a simple mistake as a “failure”. You feel like you’re whole team depends on you, right?” Asahi nods with shame. “Well, I think you need to understand that the other 5 people on your side have their own jobs as well. Sure, they know that you are capable of grabbing a point, but that’s because they are supporting you in the process.”

Asahi is quite overwhelmed at all the truth you are speaking, but it makes sense to him. Asahi obeys and walks where you pointed to.

“Now, run up like you are going to spike. You’re job is to knock,” Y/n grabs an apple from her lunch box, “this off of this trashcan.” Y/n places the apple on the the tin can and positions it in the way where a blocker would be in terms of where Asahi is standing. “Imagine this,” she draws a line in the dirt with her foot, “is the net. And, I don’t doubt that you are able to hit over the net.”

“O-oh I don’t know, you see, I haven’t really-”

“Just do it.” Y/n cuts him off with a sigh. Asahi gulps and catches the ball from Y/n. 

He takes a deep breathe in. And a deep breathe out. He tosses the ball to you. Of course, Y/n perfectly sets the ball for him.

She notices after those deep breathes, it seems Asahi is a completely different person. He looks more focused and confident. His eyes are concentrated on the ball. 

After the set, Y/n quickly looks over at the tin trashcan. And lo and behold, her apple is now on the dirt floor. Y/n smiles fondly. Asahi carries the most precious smile on his face. 

“Now, how did that feel?” Y/n questions him.

“Makes me want to do another.” Asahi was staring at his hand as if the key to life was written on his hand. He then looked over at Y/n with a glint of inspiration in his eyes.

“The boys volleyball team should still be practicing, right? I still have to start my own practice.” Y/n shares a soft smile, which she hasn’t done in awhile. Asahi reverts back to a nervous state. Y/n’s guessing there is some awkward tension between that relationship.

“Just go to them. It never hurts to just try, right?” Y/n tries her best to be encouraging, but not too pushy.

“I-I don’t know I left them so suddenly-”

“Just go! Or else.” Y/n knew she shouldn’t use fear as a tactic to push him, but to be quite frank, it’s useful in these rare occasions. Asahi fervently nods, he didn’t want to hear what came after ‘what else’ so he quickly grabs his bag and starts his jog to the boy’s gym.

“Oh wait! What’s your name?” Asahi was already a bit far, so she had to yell, “Y/n! Good luck!” She cups her mouth as if that will totally help her voice travel to him. “Well, thank you, Y/n!”

Y/n picks up her things and heads towards the gym, where she has her own journey to embark on.

Taglist: @riceballsandanime

#haikyuu!! #kageyama #hinata #asahi #haikyuuxreader #haikyuu imagines #nishinoya #sugawara kōshi #yachi #kiyoko #daichi sawamura #kageyamatobio #tobio x reader #kageyama x f!reader #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #ennoshita #karasuno #karasunohigh

[cancerbiophd]

Hey, I had a look through your FAQ but couldn't find something on (apologies if I am blind). I've got a phone interview for a (really cool) industry position but aside from all of the general "PhD to industry" blogs that assume I have post doc experience I'm not quite sure how to prepare. Especially for the more general "tell us about a time ..." questions without just repeating the same things about my PhD struggles. Have you got any tips? (No worries if not!)

Hey there! Oh no worries, this is definitely not on the FAQ (and even if it was I still always answer! The FAQ is more like a good go-to in case I don’t respond for days on end lol)

Congratulations on the interview! I hope I can help. I didn’t do a post-doc either before going into industry, so same boat! 

I think it’s absolute ok to use your grad school experiences to answer those types of questions. Technically anything in your past work/educational experience is fair game, but I think employers prefer to see recent examples (since they more accurately reflect you as an employee). During my interviews with industry my answers revolved around my PhD experiences 90% of the time, and the other 10% were from my couple of years as a research tech post-college but before grad school--but only because the research I did was relevant to the company. 

I found LinkedIn’s Interview Framework videos super helpful when dealing with those types of common questions

I also prepared by typing out all my answers (or at least had bullet-points) so I could practice what I was going to say, how I was going to say it, etc. I didn’t read off the answers the day-of of course, but it helped me mentally sort through all my answers ahead of time. 

From what I’ve gathered--in my personal transition from academia to industry, and from talking to other more established PhDs in industry--the company is less interested in your exact research skill-set (your dissertation project), and more so in some of the following transferrable skills:

Problem-solving (PhDs are really great at taking a challenge and emerging a few days later with a variety of potential solutions)

Organizational--both physically, electronically, and temporally (e.g. meeting deadlines)

Communication (not just public-speaking, but also in conveying day-to-day ideas to your colleagues/bosses)

Grit and passion--we couldn’t have finished grad school without those two, right?

The ability to work both independently and as a team, and sometimes as a leader too

And I’m sure there’s a lot more, depending on the position/department/company/field

So your interviewer may ask you questions/interact with you/your application in a way in order to get a feel for those qualities. Here are examples of what they may do:

Problem-solving: They may ask you an application-based question like “Based off of your PhD research, what would you do if given this problem to solve...” The exact question they ask will be very relevant to what the company does. They’re not expecting the correct answer; they just want to see your thought process. 

Organizational: they may have already decided this based off of your application, such as your resume/CV, publications, abstracts, etc. Or they may straight up ask you stuff like “How are you at multi-tasking?” “How do you make sure you meet deadlines?”

Communication: the entire interview process--including any emails exchanged before and after--goes into this. 

Grit and passion: Questions like “What made you interested in applying for this position and company?”, “Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?”, “What excites you most about this field?”

Working independently and as a team: Another thing that can be gleaned from your resume/CV, or through speaking with your references. It also really helps to have network connections in the department or company who can personally vouch for you. 

I got all of these questions/interactions during my interviews--some I had prepared for, some I wished I had prepared better for. 

One last bit of advice: Use your network. If you know someone who works at that same company, it would be very helpful to reach out to them to ask how they like it there, and if they have any advice for you (like sample interview questions). And who knows--they may even personally recommend you to the hiring manager! If you don’t know someone who works in that exact company, reaching out to someone in a similar position and/or company for general advice or even an informational interview would still be beneficial.

I hope that helps! If you have any other questions, you know where to find me! Best of luck and I hope your interview goes well. 

#saffythegeek #job advice

[okk--maaan]

types of kisses, #19 with dearest charlie sounds so beautiful 😭🖤 (i’m loving your works btw, truly *chefs kiss*)

Hi my sweet things 😉 I went ahead and combined this request with this one:

for the charlie week kiss prompts - number 3 and it’s the first time they kiss??

I hope that’s ok! This got a little long but pretty sexy lol. We did some time-traveling and went back to when Charlie and RC weren’t officially an item. In fact, there’s a couple firsts in here! Thank you sooo sooo much for all the love! Hope y’all enjoy this!

Word Count: ~2.2k

CW:  NSFW, alcohol consumption, smut, my size kink may have popped in for a brief hello, and you guessed it - fluff

Your phone vibrates on your desk. You flip it over and swipe the screen open to find a text from Charlie.

“What are you doing?” it reads.

“Still at the office. Working late tonight.” you type back.

*Buzz*

“Me too.”

*Buzz*

“Want to meet up for drinks?”

You grin down at the message and bite your lip.

“Sure. Give me an hour. Usual place?” you reply.

*Buzz*

“Yes.” is all he sends back. A man of few words sometimes.

You click the phone off and place it back on your desk, still smiling. This was going to be a long hour.

Finally finished with your tasks, you leave your office building, making sure everything is shut off and locked properly, and walk a few blocks to the bar you and Charlie always meet at on nights like this. As you approach the entrance, you can see him through the window, already seated with his back to you in the booth that you always sit in. You step through the door and make your way towards him. He’s scribbling something in one of his little notebooks. You notice he’s already ordered drinks for the two of you. The standards. A neat Macallan for him and a glass of house pinot noir for you. This brings another smile to your face.

You place a hand on the back of his bench and stand next to him. “Hey,” you say gently to get his attention. Pulled from whatever he was focusing on, he blinks up at you.

“Oh hey,” he responds, closing his notebook, setting his pen on top of it, and standing to hug you in a way friends might. But your hands linger on each other. Your fingertips skim down his arms as you break the embrace. His well-worn cardigan feels soft against your skin. Your eyes lock and search. Search for something unspoken, unknown. You catch his gaze drop to your mouth for a split second. Like a reflex, your tongue drags over your bottom lip. He clears his throat and snaps you both back into reality.

“Umm yeah hi. Uhh here. Please, sit,” he seems flustered when he gestures to the bench across the table. Moving away from him, you grin sheepishly, looking down.

“Oh thank you,” you say taking your seat.

Charlie clears his throat again, trying to move past whatever just happened between the two of you. Not that he actually wants to. He wishes he could live in that moment for the rest of his life. Wishes he could stare into your eyes for forever. What’s wrong with him?

“So what were you working on?” you point at his notebook.

“Just some notes on some blocking issues that came up. Wanted to get them down before I forgot,” he laughs a little to himself. “How was work?”

“Oh you know, it was work. Had a couple deadlines to meet tonight,” you wave your hand in the air, wanting to shew away the topic of work.

“Hmm,” he says simply. You recall his last text to you. A man of few words sometimes.

For a while, you both just sit in contemplative, yet comfortable silence, sipping your drinks. Neither of you can stop thinking about that surprising intimate greeting you shared.

------------------------------

Of course Charlie insists on walking you home. He always does. Sometimes you decline, knowing he should really be getting home himself. But tonight, tonight you happily accept, not wanting to lose his company any time soon.

When you stand to leave, you quickly realize just how much you drank. And the four empty wine glasses on the table do nothing to counter that fact. Charlie isn’t much better off; he’s polished off three glasses of scotch. As you make a somewhat unsteady exit, his hand comes to rest on your lower back. Warmth radiates through your body at the supportive touch. Or was that the wine?

You know it’s not the wine.

The two of you joke and talk lightly as you wander down the sidewalk, through the city, past the neon signs of bodegas and 24-hour dry cleaners. You wrap yourself tighter in your jacket as a cool fall breeze blows past you. Charlie’s hands are shoved in the pockets of his slacks.

Your strides slow slow as you cross onto your block, both of you wanting to keep this sense of togetherness that you can’t really have in the daylight. But eventually, you do reach your apartment building, and you’re given no choice but to stop. You both desperately search for a reason to keep walking, but fall short.

“Well thanks for keeping me company tonight,” Charlie says turning to face you.

“Always happy to,” you shrug. “Thanks for the drinks,” a small pang of guilt hits you as you think about him picking up your tab.

You go to hug each other in that friendly way again. But this will never be between just friends anymore. You know. He knows. When he pulls away from the too long too tight too warm embrace, his cheek brushes yours. Someone may as well have shuffled their socked feet on a carpet and reached out to zap you. A shiver runs down your spine from the electricity.

Charlie feels it too.

He takes half a step towards your trembling body, closing the distance between you. His shaky breath fans out over your face.

“Kiss me,” he whispers as he reaches out to hold you.

You’ve been waiting for that all night.

Your hands fly up to grasp his head and bring him in for a hard heavy kiss. His plump lips are so soft against yours. His strong fingers grip the flesh of your waist, pulling you into him. Your separate bodies meld, becoming one as you seek more and more of his mouth. His hot wet tongue darts out to swipe across your closed lips, asking to be let in. You open up for him, your tongues meeting in the middle, dancing around each other. The memories of your wine and his scotch blend into a delicious cocktail with your saliva. His lips leave yours only to place gentle pecks across your cheek.

“Umm do you want to come up?” you ask all breathy, hoping not to offend him with your boldness.

“Mhmm,” he mumbles against your flushed face.

You let out a relieved sigh and he gives you enough space to punch in your code on the keypad and open the old metal door. Those fingers that just need to touch some part of you interlace with yours. You lead him up the stairs and to your door, where you fumble with the lock and key, now full of this weird energy, thinking about the prospect of what's to come. You’ve thought about this for a while. Getting this beautiful, intelligent, caring man into your apartment, your bed.

 Finally successful with the doorknob, you fling the door open and step backwards over the threshold, yanking Charlie along with you.

As soon as the door clicks closed, his mouth finds yours again. He peels off your jacket, unbuttons your blouse, lets those fall in a pile on the floor. You toe off your heels and continue your backwards trek towards your bedroom. But before you get to the point of no return -- maybe you were already there -- you pull free and open your eyes. You notice Charlie has lost his cardigan and button up, left them with your discarded garments.

“Do you want to do this? Are you sure?” you ask. He is still technically married. Isn’t that what he was always saying?

With nothing but resolve in his deep hazel eyes, he responds, “Yes. I want this. I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long.” He stalks forward, closing the gap, wrapping his hands right under your jaw, shoving his tongue back into your waiting mouth.

By the time the backs of your legs hit the mattress, you and him have lost your pants, he’s lost his t-shirt, and at some point he unhooked your bra and flung to god knows where.

He licks and nips his way down your neck, over your collarbone, between your tits, all over your soft belly. “Beautiful,” he murmurs into your scorching flesh. His sticky palms smooth up your calves, thighs, and squeeze at your supple ass. “Mmmm,” he smears his lips back and forth just above the waistband of your panties.

“Charlie,” you huff, head back, eyes closed, jaw dropped open. Your tingling fingers twirl through his dark locks.

He stands to his full height, dwarfing you in comparison. His massive hands slide up your sides and knead at your tits. Mesmerized by the way you give for him, he brings his forefingers and thumbs to pinch at your nipples. He groans at the way they respond, poking out, standing stiff. Slightly jealous that he has something to hold, your own hands seek out his cock. And it’s not hard to find. Even through his boxers, his rigid erection is easy to spot. You trail up and down his length, mouth and pussy dripping. So ready for him. However he wants you. His chest rumbles when you give him an experimental squeeze. Your core clenches at his sounds.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you release yourself from him and pad into the bathroom. After a few drawers and cabinets thud, you return with a condom. He gives you a look, as if to ask why you happen to have those around. You just give a knowing grin, roll your eyes, lay back on the bed, and rest your head against the pillows. He takes the condom from you and pushes his boxers down. When he springs free, your eyes can’t help but go a little wider and you wonder to yourself if the rubber will actually fit.

Standing at the foot of the bed, Charlie rips open the foil packet and rolls the condom down to the base of his dick. Barely making it. He climbs on his knees to hover above you. Again, you feel small, here underneath him. You run your hand along his firm chest, feeling his fast pulse match yours. You lean up and kiss right over his heart. He closes his eyes and relishes in the tender gesture.

This is more than just a fling for both of you.

He shoots you another questioning glance and you nod simply in response. He loops a finger into your underwear and pushes them down until you can kick them off. Then he shifts enough to find your entrance, rubs his swollen head up and down your wet slit, catching on your clit. This alone is enough to make his eyes, and yours, roll back. Then he slides in. The shock of him filling you so completely makes gasp, makes your eyes pinch closed, makes your hands come up and claw at his back.

“Fffuuckk,” he stutters.

“Holy shit!” you grunt out through gritted teeth.

Once fully seated in you, he lets out a moan of pure euphoria. You’re so hot wet tight around him. He pulls out, slams back in, pushing another strangled breath out of your lungs. Back out. Back in. Out. In. His pace becomes quick, harsh, and you have to wind your legs around him to stay in place.

“You feel so good sweet thing. Uuhhnn. Your pussy feels so good. I’ve thought about this for so long,” the words tumble from his mouth. He feels like he’s losing control. He feels like he’s on fire. The next snap of his hips makes his cock hit that perfect spot in you. You cry out, every part of your body tensing, every nerve ending frying.

“Yes! Oh yes! Right there! Right there Charlie!” your nails dig further into him, probably breaking the taut skin there. You can feel him fisting the sheets around your head. He drops his heavy head to rest in the crook of your neck, smearing the sweat from his forehead on you, where it evaporates from the sheer heat of your rocking bodies. For a brief moment he thinks about what your cunt would feel like right on his cock. Wishes that thin barrier of latex wasn’t between you. That thought pushes pushes him further.

You feel his thrusts becoming erratic and you know he’s right there. “Baby play with my clit. Please. Please make me cum,” you beg.

The pad of his thumb finds the stiff bud and works at it. Drawing sweet sweet circles into it, in time with his pumps. Your vision goes blurry then blank. Bright white. Pitch black. Nothing.

Your whole body jolts shakes convulses as that little ball in your stomach tightens, expands, explodes.

“Aaahhhhh!” you scream as your head shoots up and you sink your teeth into the meat of his shoulder. Cumming. Cumming. Cumming. And he follows right behind. You feel his cock get impossibly harder and thicker as his own orgasm crashed down around him.

“God dammit!” he shouts, bites you back, right over the thudding pulse in your neck.

You hold each other so so tight as you come down, aftershocks rippling through your tired bodies. Hot tears inexplicably pool in the corners of Charlie’s eyes while he litters you with soft kissing, trying to relieve any pain he may have caused. You hear him sniffle quietly and you smooth a hand down his piecey hair, place a kiss to his temple, also wanting to soothe any hurt.

He lets himself go limp on top of you. Finally lets himself rest. Finally able to rest.

Charlie doesn’t know what this is. But he does know that he can’t wait to get coffee with you in the morning.

#i had a lot of fun writing this one #charlie week #hey kid you want some tags? #charlie barber x you #charlie barber/you #charlie barber x reader #charlie barber/reader #charlie barber self-insert #charlie barber imagine #charlie barber fanfic #charlie barber smut #charlie barber fluff #charlie barber #marriage story #adam driver #adam driver character #fluff #size kink #Anonymous

[bellamygateoldblog]

So, I read a lot of your personal posts and I'm just really curious about you. You seem very stressed out and tired all the time. Are you a college student? Are you just in a financial situation that necessitates that you work all the time? I just feel bad because It seems that you do not absorb joy very much. Like, I have seen that you recently started watching that show The 100. You seem very pissed off about it and yet keep watching it? You confuse and intrigue me. Explain?

"it seems that you do not absorb joy very much" has been playing on my mind ever since i read this. It hit something close to my heart.

I know i’m not obligated to explain anything and i don’t tend to put my life online (i don’t have any social media, so that should give you an idea of how secretive i usually am) but i literally stayed awake for 30 hours straight before sleeping for 15 hours straight and of course i don’t feel very well after that lol. I feel like i need to talk through some things that i’ve been keeping to myself for a long time. Get it out of my head, stop carrying it around, maybe gain some control over it.

I never intend to make anyone feel bad though, but i don’t have anyone to talk to so i guess i sometimes make those posts as a substitute for someone listening. Or for me being pissed about the 100, i think that’s my mood translating into what i end up posting in general.

Anyways this is A Lot. I obviously don’t mind if you read it. Advice would be nice, if anyone has any.

I’m a 2nd year university student. Due to severe mental illness (often making me physically sick and exhausted) these last 2 years have been extremely difficult so that's left me in a very intense situation essentially just trying to ensure i pass the year. That means handing in all the assignments i deferred basically all at the same time, after not attending the year at all. Like no lectures, no workshops, no lessons, nothing past the first month of semester 1. It's really not an ideal situation and my condition isn't improving the way i thought it would (you know when you think ‘this is the worst it can possibly get’ and then it gets worse?), and i can't focus. I’m resourceful and naturally decently smart, so i’m able to still pass a year of uni without...going. I’ve become less capable over time but because of other life experience i don’t place value on academic excellence anymore and because of covid there is a benchmark anyway, where my grade can’t drop below a 2:2, so basically i’m good as long as i don’t recieve a fail grade on anything. But that being said it’s still really hard to get things done anyway despite this? especially with depression and concentration issues, because uni in general just makes me really unhappy and disrupts my entire life, and i’d rather do literally anything else.

I can’t function whenever thinking about school in general. If im stressed about something i can’t think about anything else and it ends up seeping into other things im doing.

I have a really clear idea of what i want for the next step in my life and university is the only route available to get to so that’s why i’m still going through all of this when i could technically just ‘stop’. I’ve explored other ideas already and it appears even more stressful and complicated to make a huge change now. Even though i know 3rd year will be harder (which is also a source of stress, anxiety over what’s to come when im already struggling...).

I've been talking to my uni the whole time and while they've been understanding and accommodating (psychology department...like...they Know lol), there's only so much they can do to help me. Everyone i’ve spoken to is genuienly amazed i am where i am, but imo my resilience is bourne out of pure spite not to let my life fall apart along with myself LMAO. I have one assignment deadline left which is tomorrow. It’s the hardest one yet, i haven’t started and i’m filled with dread, and i’m so burned out i have no idea how i’m going to get it done.

To give some context about the whole ‘i can’t help myself when i’m under stress’ thing: I’m a really feminine girl. I have health and beauty routines that i like to stick to, but i can’t stick to them right now so i don’t feel like myself. There is nothing more to my life than stress and depression. I’m pretty sure i experienced dissociation for a few days last week. It was like i didn’t exist.

Just so happens that when i thought i could finally have a break from the extreme stress there are exams coming up on the 11th, which my uni has for some reason decided to make harder!?!? And i need to tell you that because it’s been bugging me ever since i recieved the email. They've completely changed the exams from being 1 hour long multiple choice tests (multiple choice is so easy smh) to basically a group of short answer questions we have 24 hours (each!) to write and submit and it’s seeming like i’ve got another 5 assignments to do after already writing 7 in the past month. It’s open book while the January exams were closed but it still seems to me like the students who didn’t defer (who did the exams back in January) got an unfair advantage over those of us taking them now due to our own circumstances. So I’m confused and upset about that, and about the thought that i probably won’t even get a break before 3rd year begins.

My living situation doesn’t make it better. It’s a really negative and emotionally draining space for me to be in. Just adding to my being drawn to negativity, and my own sensitivity. And covid has made everything that much more complicated, with everything changing and being closed etc. I’m completely alone btw, there is no one i can lean on.

As for the 100, that’s really tricky. I actually stopped “watching” it last year and now mostly consume it through fandom tumblr. I'm just not in the right headspace to sit alone and watch such a heavy show (clearly LMAO). But I’m so comfortable in this circle of fandom & love my mutuals, so i stay. I am actually liking a lot about the final season, like they’re delivering everything i wanted them to lol, but it’s so flawed and easy to complain about when you have a predisposition to be a Negative Nancy all the time so here we are.

I think i don’t really talk so extensively about shows I really love because i feel like i don’t have anything substancial to say about them besides ‘i love it’? Like i just sit there and happily watch and the farthest i go is commenting gibberish love confessions in the tags of a gifset i reblog. So most of my posts end up being me being petty or something. I do want to focus more on shows i love but like i said...it’s so hard for me sometimes to be all-positive and pretend i’m not completely crushed?

I really just want to not be so stressed and exhausted all the time. I want to do something besides worry about and/or do work. I’d love to clean my space & take a shower & read a book without a nagging anxiety in the back of my head. But i have to wait it out, and then wait it out, and continue waiting it out because it feels like things are going to be this way forever or get even worse.

I’ve had a lot of good luck lately though, and i don’t know what your beliefs are but i think someone is watching over me.

[noctisfishing]

2020 Wrap-Up and 2021 Wishes

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do this or not, but I decided, why not? Even though this year was pretty wild for everyone in various ways, I want to celebrate my writing progress and accomplishments, and share with you what I wish for in 2021.

I’ve already posted a similar post on Reddit, although this one has a more detailed breakdown and includes my fic titles! I won’t link any of the fics mentioned, but you can visit my FFN or AO3 pages to find them. You can also click through my Welcome Post or find them all listed here (if you’re on desktop) (*every project I talk about can be found somewhere on my Tumblr :D)

Click below for some nice Fic Stats!! (mostly wordcounts and rambling!!)

Preview: I wrote a good amount of words, got some nice progress on some long fics, churned out dozens of ficlets!! Plus: What’s on my fic mind for 2021, and a short bit about other personal wins.

Before I ramble with numbers, I think we can all agree that we should say goodbye to 2020 this way:

Now, the numbers you’ll see are close approximations to how much I’ve written this year. I’m including works that I’ve published on AO3, FFN, Tumblr, and Reddit, and also works unpublished (and will post probably next year).

So, here it is:

Total Wordcount: 107,662 words!

Dang, I wrote a lot more than I thought. I think there was one year that I wrote 200,000 in a year and I’ve always set that number as my standard. But I’m still pretty happy with this year’s number! I think I’ll make 100K my “soft goal” for 2021 given how topsy-turvy life can go but it would be awesome to hit 200K again :)

And now, we break it down:

Completed Works (54,432 words)

2 Multi-Chaptered Fics (10,353 words) 

Both happen to be Sorato! I posted the last chapter of The Sound of His Goodbye back in March (I started the fic late 2019), and I posted all of The Last One Wins towards the end of November. Both gave me reminders earlier and later on in the year that I can complete fics, haha! It’s possible!!! \o/

38 Ficlets/Scenes (19,667 words) 

“Ficlets” don’t typically have a wordcount but are generally less than 1,000 words. I’d have to say that the impact of quitting my job, moving back home, and the pandemic brought on major changes and responsibilities that I had to adapt to. Simpler, smaller scale ideas were easier on my basket case of a mind and kept me writing, and that is most likely why for most of the year my inspiration was more drawn toward different little scenes. I got to write for and explore six new fandoms outside of Digimon which is cool!

When I say “scenes,” I mean those that either didn’t fit in the (slightly) larger works I’ve published, or those for future projects (which technically shouldn’t be counted as “complete” but I had to stick them somewhere :P).

9 One-Shots (24,412 words)

Day 6 Prompt of Takari Week just barely made it to be counted as a One-Shot, but the rest in this category are all Taiora: six for Taiora Week, as well as The Princess and the Dragon, and Colors in Distance. The Color Shot was actually sitting unfinished in my drafts for a few months so I’m glad I found the motivation to finish it before the year’s end. The other fics were inspired by prompts with deadlines - this was the first year I’ve participated and completed those and I’m happy I did them! 

Works in Progress (53,230 words)

I’ve posted one new chapter each for Digital Recovery (4,770 words) and  Tsukiakari (2,292 words) and I had the hope of working more on both of these this year! But you know, this year was tough (see also why I threw so many ficlets at my readers). I had three huge ongoing longfics and I made the decision to set these aside and put my main focus on one of those so as not to overwhelm myself. These fics are mostly planned out. They just need to be written more! We’ve got a long way to go with both of these.

Just One Drink (10,131 words) was.. probably my most popular fic this year, lol. I don’t see this one being too long (I would be surprised if it goes past 50K) but I see myself continue to update this next year. ;) 

And let’s talk about The Spark of Dawn (DoreDore Adventure Part II) (24,316 words). This was my chosen longfic to focus on this year, as evidenced by the wordcount, and even the number of chapters I’ve posted - three with 10,659 words total. This fic also carried me through July’s Camp NaNoWriMo where I reached my word count goal of 12,000 words. I think two chapters from that event ended up being posted, and there are still 13,657 words’ worth of content yet to be published. Overall, I think half of this story has been written out (including the content I haven’t posted yet) but that being said, this fic remains as one of my priorities to finish before moving along to my other WIPs!

Here’s a list of the rest of my unpublished works:

Untitled Taiorato Fic (1,433 words)

More Taiora Snapshots (2,454 words)

The Girl Who Stands Out (7,834 words) - This one is a Mimato, and should show up really soon. ;)

2021 Wishes: My main wish is for me to *keep writing*!

I’m already making some pretty elaborate spreadsheets for myself to help track my personal writing and reader stats. Hopefully they help motivate me in my writing progress in 2021! 

Toward the end of the year, I felt the need to “clear out” my plot bunnies folder and realized that fics from few ideas weren’t going to be as long as I initially thought. That’s where The Last One Wins came from, as well as The Girl Who Stands Out. I think once the latter is all written out, I will work more on DoreDore and see where it goes.

I want to tackle my “Write Your Melody” prompts, because since I’ve written them I feel obligated to. XD I’m sure there will be room for more ficlets and one-shots in next year’s endeavors; while it’s ideal to work on one big longfic until it’s done, I know for a fact that I’ll need writing breaks along the way.

Other Personal Wins (Not Writing-Related): This year, left a job and living situation that took a toll on my mental health. I also started to learn R and SQL programming languages. I was asked to be a moderator of one of my favorite communities! I made new friendships and a few of my friendships grew. And I found joy and comfort in things I hadn’t been able to in years’ past. I had a fair share of rough moments this year, but looking back at my small wins gave me reminders of the good I have. <3 

If you made it to the end of this post, GO YOU. I’m optimistic that next year will bring more good things. I hope to continue remembering to take time to breathe and rest, and keep talking to my friends and loved ones. Many of my wishes are for long-term goals/projects in general, but rather than setting year-end deadlines, I want to focus on just working on them, my efforts varying between chipping away at them little by little, or hardcore-drop-everything-and-spend-the-weekend.

Anyway, thank you for reading! I wish you all the best as we head toward a new year. <3

#noct musings #end of year wrap up #2020 #noctiswriting #writing progress update

[sophisticatedloserchick]

Fanfic - Teasing in the Change Rooms - 1/1

Summary: After a long day of shopping Iris decides to reward Barry by trying on some swim suits for him testing Barry’s control. 

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 2127

A/N: And here’s the other Summer themed fanfic I’m posting waaaaay too late. But its still technically summer so in my opinion I made the deadline lol.

Barry had lost track of how long they'd been at the mall.

Barry never enjoyed spending an entire day shopping. Time went by simultaneously fast and slow not unlike Flashtime. He only went to the mall a few times in a year to buy new clothes or to go Christmas shopping.

Iris on the other hand loved the mall. As a teenager she spent every possible moment and all of her allowance shopping at the mall. She always managed to ensnare her past boyfriends to come shopping with her making them her pack mule for the day. Iris never made a quick trip to the mall either. For her if you didn't enter the mall when it first opened and left when it was dark outside then you didn't really go shopping.

It was the one 'boyfriend duty' that Barry never got jealous of. He loved spending time with Iris but he could do without spending a day at the mall.

But now with him being 'The Boyfriend' he had to step up.

“How you doing babe?” Iris asked as they exited the soap shop that had so many strong smells Barry had gotten a headache.

“Great, I'm great.” Barry said with a strained smile. “Who know there was so many different types of soap.”

Iris smothered a laugh but his attempts to hide his pained expression didn't work.

“You've been so sweet,” Iris went on her tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “There's one more store I want to go to then we can head home.”

“And we order pizza?” Barry asked hopefully.

“Sure, and I'll let you pick one of those complicated sci-fi movies you love so much,” Iris said brightly.

Already things were looking up for Barry.

Iris led him to another clothing boutique. After going to about ten of these types of stores all of them blurred together. They headed straight to the back of the store where the change rooms were and found a chair for Barry to sit on.

“You wait right here,” Iris's hand patted his chest affectionately. “I'm going to grab a few things to try on.”

Barry practically collapsed into the chair after Iris left. All the bags he was carrying fell to the ground as he realized how sore his arms were. He passed the time by scrolling on his phone barely noticing Iris coming back with her arms loaded with things to try on.

“Bar?” Iris called out five minutes later. “Will you tell me what you think of this?”

Barry didn't know why Iris asked his opinion on the clothes. He had no sense of fashion compared to her not to mention he thought everything looked great on her. But if she wanted his opinion he would try for her.

Barry glanced up from his phone only to go completely slack-jawed when he saw what she had on.

All Iris had on was a one piece bathing suit. The deep V-neck that down the front exposing the lines of her collarbone and swell of her breasts. The dark yellow color brought out the warmth of her brown skin. Barry's eyes trailed down her body loving how the thin material accentuated her curves.

“Looks great,” Barry swallowed thickly as he eyed her long legs. “I mean you look great. Really really great.”

Iris unphased by what a mess he'd become promptly turned around.

“What about from the back?”

Her hands gathered up her thick black hair to show off the scooped back of the bathing suit that left most of her exposed. Barry felt heat spread through his body as his fingers clenched at the top of his thighs. He knew from experience how soft the skin of her back was, how much he loved placing soft kisses from her shoulder blades down her spine making her squirm underneath him.

“That's great too,” Barry said in a bit of a dazed state.

Iris's lips pulled in a pleased smirk before letting her hair fall back into place.

“You wait right there,” Iris gave him a playful wink that affected Barry in ways that were embarrassing. “I'll be right back with another option.”

Barry watched as she walked away with more swing in her hips then needed. He tried in the scant minutes he had to gain some control back. Deep calming breaths, trying to recite complicated chemistry equations in his head so he wouldn't think about how amazing Iris looked in that swimsuit.

All his attempts to regain his composure flew out the window when Iris strutted back in a turquoise blue bikini. Barry didn't know anything when it came to fashion but he always marveled how Iris's brown skin complemented every color she wore. But Barry's attention didn't linger on the color of the bikini for long. His body felt electric just looking at her. Normally Iris wasn't this exposed outside the confines of their apartment. Something about seeing her nearly naked in such a public place made the blood pump down faster to his already growing erection.

His eyes traced over the curve of her hips where only a thin strap kept the bottom part of the swimsuit together. He could imagine his fingers slipping under the fabric to pull it down her legs. He then looked up past the soft roundness of her belly to where very thin fabric stretched over her breasts. He wondered how difficult the clasps in the back would be for him to pull that fabric away making her completely bare to him. Which is not a thought he should be having in such a public place.

“Barry, Barry?” Iris waved her hands to get his attention. “Did you hear me?”

“Huh? What?” Barry shook himself out of his stupor.

“I said 'do you like this style on me better'?” Iris said through amused laughter at his state.

“I like any style on you,” Barry said bluntly because it was true.

Iris shook her head at his answer before heading back into the change room to try on another suit.

Not that Barry wasn't enjoying every second of this but he didn't think he could last much long before making an embarrassment of himself in public.

As he watched Iris go back into the change room Barry could feel his body thrum with electricity. His hands were already starting to go vibrate with excitement, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, his pale skin turning red as he felt flushed with heat. There were typical reactions he had when it come to Iris. She always found a way to make him lose control.

Except when she teased him like this it was in the comfort of their own home and not out in the public where everyone could witness him coming apart. Every cell in his body screamed for him to peel those bathing suits of Iris's body and have his way with her but the threat of them being caught was too great.

Or is it?

Barry cast a furtive glance around the store. He saw two sales clerks chatting at the front then off to the side a Mom with her daughter looking through the racks of bathing suits. None of them were luckily paying attention to him. He could easily slip into Iris's change room and then he would-

'No. I need to get a grip,' Barry mentally put a stop to where his thoughts wanted to go, 'I'm a superhero. Not some hormonal teenager.'

With a deep breath Barry tried to calm himself down. He felt close to pulling it off until he heard Iris call out his name.

He looked up to see she pulled back the curtain of the change room to poke her head out. Barry felt himself for a moment getting lost in her dark eyes. The inviting and mischievous smile on her face making Barry's blood pump harder in his veins.

“Uh...yes?” Barry swallowed thickly.

“Can you please help me?” Iris batted her eyelashes at him with an adorable pout on her lips for good measure, “I can't tie my top on this one.”

In his haste to be of assistance Barry nearly knocked over his chair as he rushed towards the change room.

Barry entered into the cramped room in a whoosh of speed, making certain the curtain was firmly cinched behind him. The change room didn't have a lot of space but the two could easily fit. His eyes directly went to where Iris stood in front of him. The bathing suit she had partly on was a coral pink. Barry's eyes lingered at the material stretched over her ass before traveling up the skin of back. Iris had gathered her hair up to completely expose her back and the undone pink strings of the bikini top.

“You okay there Bar?” Iris glanced at him over her shoulder smiling at him coyly.

“Oh yes, absolutely.” Barry nodded not taking his eyes off her back. “I'm very okay.”

Iris laughed lightly at the strained tone of his voice but he didn’t care if she knew what a mess he was becoming.

Taking a half a step forward Barry crowded into her space. Not for the first time Barry loved the height difference between them. How his taller body seemed enclose her smaller one. Like there wasn't an inch of her body that he wasn't touching.

His hands reached out to lightly trace her back, reveling in the softness of her skin. His head dipped to brush his lips along the curve of her neck. Iris did a sharp intake of breath. Her body swaying back to be closer to him, his touch drawing her in like a moth to a flame.

“Ba-arry,” Iris sighed out when placed soft kisses on the sensitive spot behind her ear, “Stop teasing me.”

“You've been teasing me,” Barry smirked against her skin. “Its only fair I return the favor.”

Iris opened her mouth to reply but instead a moan came out as Barry nipped at the skin of her neck as his hands wrapped around her waist to bring her even closer to him. Barry's mind getting dizzy at having a nearly naked Iris in his arms and pressed up against him.

Barry knew it be so easy for him to move his hands upwards to tug away the fabric barely covering Iris's breasts. He knew she would stop him if peeled away the bottoms, push up against the wall of this change room and take her right there. It probably had been her plan all along.

“Excuse me miss?” A shrill voice interrupted their moment.

Both Barry and Iris nearly jumped out of their skin having been completely lost in each other's touch.

Iris thankfully managed to recovered fast enough to respond.

“Uh yes?” Iris replied in a shaky voice as Barry decided to keep pressing kisses to the skin of her shoulder.

“I found the size you were looking for,” The sales clerk continued. “Should I leave it out here for you?”

“Yes thank you,” Iris's voice went a pitch higher as Barry's hands moved down her sides to wrap around her waist.She would of given him a glare for teasing her like this but considering she’d been teasing him minutes ago she didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Iris thought the sales clerk had walked away but after a beat she spoke again.

“Just a reminder its store policy for only one person in the change room at a time.”

In their current position Iris couldn’t see Barry but she knew he had to be as red with embarrassment as she felt. 

Iris didn’t know what to do. Having sex in public always seemed like a good idea until you got caught. 

Before she could untangle herself from Barry in the blink of an eye Iris found herself deposited on the couch in the living room. Her mind and body feeling completely disoriented from the quick change of location. As she was getting her bearings a flash of lighting filled the room. Barry stood before her holding all the bags from their day of shopping along with a couple of new ones from the swimwear store. 

“I didn’t know which one you wanted so I bought all of them,” Barry’s grin then borderlined on wicked. “And a few new ones I thought you’d look good in.”

“Well then,” Iris got up from the couch and walked towards him. “I better try them on for you.”

After that day Barry never again hated going to the mall with Iris.

#westallen #barry allen #iris west allen #fanfic #sophisticatedloserchickwrites

[397bartonstreet]

When You’re Home

This is for @peraltasames for the @b99fandomevents fic exchange! I am very sorry this came a day late, I had the fic finished by the deadline but after a quick read through I realized it desperately needed another draft. I would’ve felt horrible if I gave you a fic I felt wasnt good enough even for my standards. I hope it’s worth the wait though! If not, I apologize immensely lol

Prompt 1: jake and amy’s first night back together after the ambulance scene in coral palms pt 3 + fluffy reunion goodness. (I hope this fic is what you asked for maybe not)

Getting Jake through his apartment door in his crutches shouldn’t have been as hard as it was, but through all the giggling and fooling around they were doing, there were more than a couple instances in which he almost fell flat on his face. And that only made things more difficult, his clumsiness making Amy laugh louder and their process all the more sloppy. It also didn’t help that Amy couldn’t let go of him, she wouldn’t let go of him. A hand on his back, his arm, his waist. A kiss to his cheek, or shoulder, or the corner of his mouth. Her touch made Jake’s focus fall flat and she couldn’t be bothered to watch where she was going. At one point, when she shut the door behind him, she accidentally kicked him in his bad leg which released a pained groan through his teeth. His leg was still pretty sore, but the giddiness of being with Amy distracted him enough of it, so that kick served a good reminder. She snorted out a sorry and took a step away from him to keep from further injuring him.

Now that he’s entered the apartment, he takes a moment to soak it all in. It looks exactly like it did when he left it. The only evidence that it’s been kept a bit is that the bed is made and the room doesn’t have the smell of dust he expected. And since he hasn’t fixed his bed since the first few weeks he started dating Amy, he imagines she probably has something to do with it. It feels a little like a dream, to be back to his home after spending so long in that muddy, sweaty, trash town. He’s filled with so much relief he could cry, instead he releases the almost overwhelming emotion through a laugh of disbelief. 

“Do you need help getting changed?” Amy asks, pulling him out of his reverie. She’s already heading toward his drawer where she knows he keeps his pajamas, she’s been especially acquainted with it these past few months. 

“Oh definitely, the painkillers they prescribed me with is messing with my head a little bit, my balance is kind of off and I can’t move it too much,” he says. Amy nods sympathetically and hands him a stack of his pajamas. She uses her newly free hand to anchor herself so she can reach up for a lingering kiss, for no other reason other than she really wants to.

“Let me know when you need help, because I know you can take off your own shirt,” she says.

“Oh, but it’s so much more fun when you do it,” he teases. She rolls her eyes and heads back to his drawer to pull out another shirt of his and a pair of his boxers. She does have her own clothes here, having left some astray from when she would stay over, and even more from when she would tidy up his apartment during the six months he was away. Though she forgoes her own shirts in favor for one of his own, the smell of him overwhelming her senses when she pulls it over her head too hard to resist. She’s pulling her pants off her ankles when Jake speaks again. 

“Alright, uh, I may need your help now,” She turns to see him looking down at his shoes in defeat and waving his good foot to gesture petulantly. It’s so ridiculous she can’t help giggling more exaggerated than necessary. They’ve both been doing that a lot since they were dismissed home. 

“Does it hurt?” She walks over after finishing dressing to get in his view. Jake stills when he sees what she’s chosen to wear for the night. The old NYPD T-shirt of his way too big on her and he’s not that surprised to see the flannel of her chosen shorts peeking out the hem. Not only does she look absolutely adorable, seeing her with his clothes on is a real turn on. A goofy grin forms on his face.

“You look cute,” he purses his lips to ward off a laugh

“Oh my god, stop.” But the laugh bursts from his chest anyway and he lifts his eyes back up to hers. “Answer me, does it hurt?”

“Not that much, but the stitches are really sore.” Amy hums and kneels down in front of him. Maybe Amy should have thought a bit more before doing that an action so easily sexualized, because when she looks up at him he’s looking down at her with a stupid smirk.

“Wow, this has got to be the hottest image I’ve ever seen,” he says with a breathlessness that makes heat well up from the tips of her ears down to her neck, as well as a mischievousness that makes her give him a smack on his good leg with the back of her hand. 

“Shut up, I’m trying to help you,” she says, gently prying his shoe off his sensitive foot, he flinches once but fortunately gets it off without much problem.

“And then after, it’s sexy sexy time?” he asks, rolling his torso and waggling his eyebrows at her. 

“You can barely clothe yourself and you wanna have sex?” She teases, pulling off the second shoe. Soon, Jake knows she’s up to no good when she reaches her fingers to graze the button of his shorts. It’s quickly unbuttoned and he gulps at the flirtatious quirk of the eyebrow she throws his way. She grabs a hold of the zipper and almost too slowly drags it down, her salacious eyes never leaving his to soak up his reaction. The muscles of his abdomen clench when her fingers mischievously, purposefully, glide on his cock as she does so. And she uses the same speed to pull down the shorts until it plops to the floor. 

“There are some other, um, non-strenuous stuff we can do,” he croaks. He originally meant it to be a joke, but now he’s not so sure if it is anymore after that display, and now that Amy’s lightly raking her nails on his thighs. And he hasn’t seen his girlfriend in so long, the slightest thing she does cause the blood from his brain to rush down to where she’s so close to him. During the time where he wasn’t sure when he would see her again, (something inside of him even wondering if he’d ever see her again) the thought of being with her, feeling her, loving her consumed his every thought. And right now, she’s actually here, flesh and blood, teasingly biting her lip at him with grazing hands just going away from where he wants her most. 

“Only if you’re good.” She breaks the spell abruptly when she stands back up, but still presses her lips to his through giggles when she sees the absolutely wrecked look on his face. Before Amy let’s it deepen too much she pulls away, Jake slightly chasing after her lips while she goes. 

“Ames, you can’t just tease me like that, I am a very weak man,” he whines and Amy’s accompanying chuckle is full of mischief and mirth. She stands up straight and sobers up soon after, and readjusts her ponytail while she speaks. 

“Are you tired? Because if you’re not I can bring you some hot chocolate,” she asks him. He is tired, now that the adrenaline of the day is passing he’s starting to feel just how tired he is. He wants to fight it though, wants to make up for so much lost time and hold her in his arms. He can’t do that if he’s nursing a cup of hot chocolate.

“No thanks babe, I’m just going to stay in bed, but I’m holding you to that offer tomorrow morning. All I could find over in Florida was really shitty packet hot chocolate. It was Swiss Miss city Ames!” Maybe they could even make the trip to her favorite Polish place and it’ll be like nothing’s been different the last six months.

Amy nods and helps him scoot back into the bed before crawling in with him. Jake had no other choice but to lay on his back, but Amy took advantage by straddling his waist. He immediately put his hands on her hips and willingly accepts her hundredth kiss today.

“I missed you,” she whispers, her heart feeling a bit constricted with just how much and with just how much joy she’s feeling at no longer having to.

“I missed you too.”

“And I love you… so much,” Amy says. He is hauntingly reminded of that day before he left, and those same words that were exchanged between them before his world fell apart. It sends an ache to his stomach, to where he still isn’t fully convinced that he’s back, and has her back. 

“I love you so much too,” he responds, and he’s sure that his cheeks will eventually pain him if he continues to smile the way he is. 

Both of them still have things to work through, tears still need to be shed and serious conversations still needs to be had eventually. Their six months apart was so hard on them, with truly no contact along with the small fear in the back of their heads that convinced them the other was in danger. They should maybe even call a therapist at this rate. But they weren’t going to deal with that right now, that was a tomorrow issue. Right now they’re living in the bliss of finally being back home and focusing solely on their neediness for each other.

Amy presses her forehead to his as he speaks. 

“Hey, if boxers are technically underwear, are you wearing anything underneath that,” Jake asks, a finger flicking at her waistband. She pulls back enough to look down at him and runs her hands through the stupid frosted tips she’s going to eventually need to address. 

“Why don’t you find out, detective.” 

#b99 #peraltiago #my fics #b99 fics #b99 summer 2019 fic exchange #b99 summer fic exchange #peraltasames

[authenticaussie]

Hmm... 18 (soul eater au), 52 (roommate), 42 (marvel), 98 (leverage), and or 14 (lantern lights)

babe……….you’re my Favourite™

also, under a readmore because this got LONG as SHIT

8. Soul Eater au

the soul eater au is really scattered because my wifi sucked on that particular day and I was posting it in the mas chat (sunshinepunks) BUT the basis is weapons ace & sabo and meister Marco. It’s a lot of “dumbasses refuse to accept New Friends (because TraumaTM)” and Ace/Sabo being dicks to Marco because he refuses to give up on them. (ahhh my favourite dynamic //swoons)

Part of the plot - my favourite part of the plot - is that Sabo spends a lot of time spying on Marco to try and catch him out as Secretly A Dick and Manipulating Them, and ends up finding out that Marco really really cares about him and Ace? And the way to Sabo’s heart is thrrrroooough his besssstieeeee lmao. So Sabo ends up crushin’ hard first, but then SPYING BACKFIRES and paranoia kicks his butt and he Feels Bad because he was ONLY MEANT TO TRUST ACE and Marco HURT HIS FEELINGS (sabo you moron it’s your own fault). Anyway Ace and Marco pair up to try and make Sabo feel better and it drives Sabo even Nuttier until there is battle couple stuff and a mid-fight Feelings Fight and then a confession and then they become the DMCA power couple. Ta-da!

Ace was a pipe and Sabo was a knife! Or…..you know, something in that realm pft. Basically hitty-stick and stabby-stabby, because you could make a) an argument for their personalities Being Like That (ace is blunt and strong and easy to just hit with but if you’re clever about it he’s awesome, and has the reach to be a longer weapon, sabo is more…well a knife can be used for a lot but also it’s very….vicious. There is very little you can do to Incapacitate with a knife that is not Wow Stabbed. Which I feel is very Sabo, he’s kinda…harsh??? in his way of handling battle, I think.) and b) because in canon, Sabo’s weapon is a pipe and Ace has that knife, and I thought it’d be cool to match that.

42. New Roommate Wanted

an OC-based commission!! James moves in with a shape-shifting thief and her GF and accidentally Falls In Love snickers

It is………..I wrote it a while ago so you can definitely see the self-projection of “I want cute rich gfs to love and adore me so I don’t have to stress about a job”

52. 5+1 Marvel AU

in the actual word document the title is “If you’re broken I will mend you” (Or 5 Times Sabo was There for his Team (and one time histeam was there for him). Sabo is Coulson and Marco is Hawkeye and Ace is a Black Widow (codename: Redback). It fluctuates between sorta implying MAS (but with a definite focus on Marco/Ace) and Coby/Sabo mainly because I made Coby Captain America (YOU CAN’T!!! ARGUE!!! WITH ME!!! HE IS!!!! PERFECT!!! AS CAP!!!) and I love fics that have the lowkey “Coulson has a fanboy crush on Cap.” lol. 

(also coby/sabo is. fun? crackship but So Fun.) 

Here’s the shortest one haha

It takes about five minutes after the comms. go silent forSabo to know that something is wrong, and two minutes afterwards to gear up.

It takes him approximately four seconds to tear through the people trying to keep him from helping Ace and Marco.

(It takes two weeks for them to heal, no matter how fastSabo was, and a month for Sabo to get off desk duty, but Ace and Marco refuseto do missions when he’s not their handler. They refuse to do anything thatinvolves leaving his side until after he assures them he’s fine, and that hewasn’t just a S.H.I.E.L.D agent because he had a pretty face - though that hadprompted an argument about Sabo’s ‘pretty face’ that he’d had to steadfastlyignore.)

88. LEVERAGE AU MOTHERFUCKER

THIEVES! CON ARTISTS! So this one is actually three different aus in one file - there’s a “MAS but as Leverage” and it starts out as “Ace and Sabo who fill in Every Job They Can (but their specialties are Ace = grifter/hacker and Sabo = hitter/thief and I have reasons, okay) and then they try and run a con on Marco but he’s like Um Excuse Me? And then he gets dragged into their Bullshit snickers. Oh ALSO they ONE THOUSAND PERCENT do not realise they are Madly In Love With Him (but he does. And he’s trying to be patient. But also. Dying. Because wow it’s kinda awkward being in love with. two daredevil thieves)

The second one in the doc is the Leverage trio in the OP world, ‘cause duh, and Parker starts off like…trying to steal kids from being SMILE experiments? and hires Eliot and Hardison to help her. Um I think I wanted to give Hardison a DF?? But I had a whole list: there was altering people’s sight/perceptions, being able to edit vision/specifics of reality in lines of like, code?? (aka he could do Little Changes but they could affect Big Things, a butterfly effect sort of DF). A lot of them were trying to give him a way to…manipulate stuff in a world where tech wasn’t as big a thing.  

And the third one is ASL leverage! Marco still gets dragged into the disaster but it’s more found family stuff. 

14. Lantern Lights

Lantern Lights is technically posted [here] under “all the light we cannot hold” BUT I have MORE. I wanted to make it longer when I originally posted it - mainly because Lea asked for angst - but I ended up running out of time (I am………so bad at deadlines, jfc). Plus, with all the things I wanted to include it honestly would’ve turned into something RIDICULOUSLY long and I was already pushing 5k when gifts were a minimum of 1k.

This was the original start / end bracketing.

START:

HiAce.

Hispencil hesitated above the empty page, only a single lead smudge marring theotherwise blank paper, and Sabo sighed softly. Eraser nub ticking against thedesk, he bit his lower lip and tried to think of what else to write. He had somuch to say – about Marco, and the Whitebeards, and about the new friends he’dslowly been making, like Koala and Hack and even the standoffish, arrogant Law,but it’d been so long since he sat down to write Ace a letter that the wordsseemed to have vanished.

Hi Ace, heread, as though the greeting would organise what he wanted to say intoneat lines for him to write. He heaved another sigh, resting his chin in hispalm. Casting his eyes up to the window above his desk he watched as theburning dusk faded into twilight blue and the stars began to shine, silverglints of light that were mirrored by the compound’s lanterns flaring to life.The gleamed against the darkness and Sabo couldn’t help but be reminded ofAce’s fire. How it glowed beneath his skin, lighting him bright red in fury orembarrassment or glorious gold in his joy. Sometimes Sabo couldn’t help butwish – but hope – that Ace was still burning, somewhere out there. In the sky,with the stars-

Hecouldn’t help but selfishly hope that Ace had given part of his fire to Sabo’sheart, to burn within him.

Sabogrowled, burying his face in his hands to try and stop the subtle sting formingin his eyes. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that so many simple things couldremind him of Ace, that undeniable frustration at his uselessness still restedheavy in his every thought, that the feelings he wanted to put to paper wereimpossible to articulate.

Thesharp tip of his pencil cracked as he pressed it into the paper, and the threewords he wrote turned from his usual neat cursive into a jagged scrawl.

I miss you.

END:

-Marco thinks that ouranniversary is the battle, but I don’t like it there. Besides, having ouranniversary on your birthday? You’d expect double gifts, and we can’t havethat.

Sabo’slips quirked into a bitter smile, his eyes drawn up to the small gift stillwrapped on his desk, bow deflated from his constant touches but nonethelessstill stubbornly holding onto the silver wrapping. He’d never had a chance togive Ace his birthday gift, and was sure that Ace wouldn’t have expected it.Would he have even been given gifts, when he’d been kept on the candle wick? Orwould the gift have been an extra moment of freedom, so painfully perfect in its rarity?

Pullinghis hair away from his face, Sabo gently bit his lip and scanned what he’dalready written, trying to figure out what else to say. His fringe curled infront of his eyes when he took up his pen again, but he barely paid attentionto the soft brush of hair against his scar tissue. Two years of having them hadgotten him used to his limited vision and things in front of his face that hecouldn’t see. 

He’d never seen Ace’sflustered thoughts, nor known what each fleeting touch had meant until it had beenfar too late, and couldn’t help but wonder just how blind he’d been back then.

Did I tell you thatMarco finally stopped being chickenshit and used the word ‘boyfriend’? I feellike that counts more as our anniversary than the battle, especially consideringI wasn’t much better about speaking up about “feelings” after you left. Twomonths of not talking over the topic because one third of the topic up and-

It’s pretty stupid ofus, huh?

I mean, you werepretty fucking stupid when you-

Sabocrossed out the last few words with two strokes of thick black ink, his teethgrit in a way that made his head pound.

Regardless, everythingis going fine, now. I’m sure you’d be happy to know that Marco and I havegotten past awkwardly refusing to admit to holding hands and have nowprogressed to awkwardly kissing each other on the cheek (and then refusing toadmit to it, of course. Got to keep consistency). You’d think that as someoneso attention-starved I’d be better at this, but it always feels…not wrong, persay, but, like something is missing because you’re not here.

You’re a dick forthat, Ace.

Anyway, this will bemy last letter for a while. I’m sorry it’s short, but I’m already running late;Koala and I are set to sail with the afternoon tide, for Flevance, and Marco isgoing troll hunting. Whitebeard heard there was trouble with the gnomes in thefar north mountains, so he’s going to check them out and I want to say goodbyebefore we part ways.

As always;

With love, Sabo.

#marcoacesabo #ask meme #tag games #wip meme #wip list #12freddofrogs #ask aussie #bip bop nari drops #I feel like I should have put a limit on what I'd post in the whole 'snippet' section pft #I have NO!!!! self control!!!! #maracebo

[saccharineomens]

I want to know all the answers from your 100 question meme

Something you find romantic? Answer whichever #'s you feel comfortable answering; I want to know all your inner musings 😝

cat why do you do this to me

i’ll be sticking them below a readmore, then!

1.  Is a kiss considered cheating? Yes! Unless you’ve communicated with your partner that it’s okay.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Hmmm this is a really hard decision. I usually say telepathy, but I like shapeshifting, too. I loved the Animorphs books as a kid, even though I didn’t read them all.

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Monetarily? Nah. But I like to think I’ll still have strong, rich friendships and I think I’ll have enough money to live comfortably alone. 

5.  Tell us some funny drunk story. I just don’t really have one rip. Drunk people are hilarious but normally I’m the DD. I’ve got several pleasant stories, though! There was a time me and my best friend went to a pub and drank cider and played board games and video games until closing time. Afterwards we stopped at an Insomnia cookies, a storm caused the electricity to go out, and we got a half dozen cookies for free. (well, I felt guilty, so I left them a very large tip.)

6.  Why are you no longer together with your ex? I was going through college, it was long distance, and I felt he deserved better. We keep in touch, though.

7.  If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Well, painlessly, of old age, in my sleep, of course. But if that’s not an option, out of all the ways of dying, freezing to death seems the most humane. You just get tired, cold, and sleepy, and then you just...don’t wake up.

8.  What are your current goals? Graduate, mostly. Long-term I’d like to live with friends in a big house and my cat, and have enough free time to garden and craft at my leisure, and have the ability to travel wherever I’d like. I’d like to work on a game or movie I’m really passionate about, and I’d love to become a director someday.

9.  Do you like someone? I mean, I like a lot of people, but I assume this means romantically. So, kind of? I find a lot of people attractive and have a ‘if they wanted to date I’d be down’ feeling, but I don’t have serious feelings for anybody specific.

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? Hmmm I have a terrible memory. Myself, perhaps? I have a really hard time with getting up when my alarms go off. Sleep inertia’s a big problem for me. This has led to me being late to classes and rushing to get ready, which is stressful.

11. Do you like your body? Ehhhh. I guess. It could be improved, like by not having health issues. 

12.  Can you keep a diet? Ha! No.

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I hope you have a wonderful day. The universe doesn’t care about us so be excellent to each other!

14.  Do you work? Constantly, every day. I work to learn new things, accomplish school assignments, make money, feed myself...All my life is is working, right now.

15.  If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Salad! Because anything can be a salad. Tuna salad, fruit salad, salad with salmon...

16. Would you get a tattoo? Oh, absolutely. The only reason I don’t have any is because of money. I have like five small ideas and one very large one that i’d like across my back. 

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? Food, my family, and my friends.

18. Can you drive? Yes. Do I have a license? No.

19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? Probably sometime in the past month by my mother, but she’s just about the only person who does.

20. What was the last thing you cried for? asdfjal;ksdjfs it was Treasure Planet. Jim and Silver’s relationship is just [clutches chest] so beautiful.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of, sporadically. 

22.  Is life fun? Yes!

23.  Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I mean, I prefer you excuse yourself, but more or less yeah.

24.  What’s your dream car? My sib got this really nice Prius used at a good price, and it has a lot of room and it’s a hybrid, so Nice. I don’t tend to pay much attention to cars, as long as they’re comfortable and low-waste.

25. Are grades in school important? I admit that they’re important to me, but that’s something I have to unlearn. My worth isn’t determined by other people.

26. Describe your crush. Ugh. I’m bi, guys. I get crushes on people all the time, every day. Saw this really pretty redhead in the cafeteria over a month ago, and I saw her again yesterday. She’s a couple inches taller than me and has really pretty curly hair, but I didn’t really, like, stare, so I couldn’t describe her face well past ‘cute nose’.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? Nothing jumps to mind. I guess I’m still falling over myself after seeing Mad Max back in like 2015, that was just the coolest experience ever. I find delight in just about every movie I watch, though. The second Jumanji-sequels movie was just as fun and amazing as the first. Klaus was just incredible in so many ways. 

28.  What was your last lie? I...really just do not remember. Probably telling myself “I’m gonna do my laundry today” a few days ago? Whereas I DID do my laundry today so HA

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? I saved this question for last and it’s late and I honestly can’t remember anything, asdjls sorry. My memory’s awful y’all. 

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? Oh absolutely. I mean it wouldn’t be if they weren’t uncomfortable with it, but they always are.

31.  Something you did and you are proud of? I did my laundry today? washed dried folded and everything. I also braved the nighttime neighborhood around my school to solo a Pokemon raid, which was cool. I’m proud of my animation done at the end of the last semester, and of how my teddy bear modelling is doing this week.

32. What’s your favourite cocktail? How am I supposed to choose this? How can you ask me to choose this? I’d have to line them all up and try one by one, honestly, before I could tell you. 

33.  Something you are good at? I’m pretty good at drawing anatomy and expressions, I think. I’m good at baking/cooking, although I lack creativity in the kitchen. I also think I’m a pretty good listener, and a good friend? 

34.  Do you like small kids? Most of the time!

35.  How are you feeling right now? Frankly, a little drained with all these questions, but determined to finish them. I’m a little hungry. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and wish I was doing homework, but I also can’t get myself to do it right now. 

36.  What would you name your daughter/son? Not sure! Every once in a while I’ll be like “ooh, that’d be a great name” and then don’t remember to write it down. Besides, I plan on adopting, and most kiddos already have names.

37.  What do you need to be happy? Money, friends, family, good food, and a place to explore. 

38.  Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? Not particularly. No one other than, well. The rich people I’m pretty sure everyone knows I dislike.

39.  What was the last gift you received? Well, anything my mom cooks for me is a gift, but the last Proper gift was from my friend @ wefflebugs , who got me a blu-ray copy of Into the Spiderverse and some coffee for Christmas  c:

40.  What was the last gift you gave? I gave my sibling @ aconfusedbird a keychain of one of the two Bubble Bobble dragons and kept the other for myself, for their birthday. Handmade from Perler beads. We’d play that game for ages as kids, and we always fought over who’d be the blue one.

41.  What was the last concert you went to? I think it was The Shins? They were so awesome!

42.  Favourite place to shop at? Well, I quite like Target. But I also adore small resale shops. They always have some really awesome things hiding there.

43. Who inspires you? Oogh, a lot of people. Like a million and a half artists I’ve met online, ones I only know their screenname for, inspire me to get better at art. James Baxter and Sergio Pablos inspire me to get better at animation. Wefflebugs’ art always has such lovely colors, which I adore. featherdragon15′s art has gotten a lot better lately, and that inspires me to keep working hard too! Not to mention they’re working for nasa which is rad af, and also inspires me to keep working toward my dreams. My sibling aconfusedbird inspires me a Lot in a lot of personal ways, like to be more kind to myself and to keep moving forward. My mom inspires me to keep gardening. roachpatrol/roach-works inspired me to get into welding, lizardlicks inspired me into wanting chickens and a small homestead. My teachers inspire me to keep working hard in school. 

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? 19, I think? I’ve only gotten properly drunk once. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another boiled peanut, but other than that it wasn’t a problem lol.

45. How old were you when you first got high? I haven’t, actually. I don’t have a reason not to or anything, but it’s just never felt like the right vibe yanno?

46.  How old were you when you first had sex? I guess it really depends on your definition. Personally, I’d say I haven’t yet.

47. When was your first kiss? Well, I played spin the bottle when I was seventeen, which was technically my first kiss, but if that doesn’t count then it was about a week before I turned eighteen, and I kissed the guy who’d become my first boyfriend.

48.  Something you want to do until the end of this year? Play video games....I wish I had infinite time to play video games and watch movies and draw and just...enjoy my time on earth, you know? Without feeling like it had a deadline.

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I try not to live with regrets. 

(50 is ‘post a selfie’ but im on a computer)

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Either aconfusedbird or featherdragon15, i think. 

52.  Name one thing that terrifies you. asdkfjal;sdf i’ve been listening to too much magnus archives and got recommended to ‘not be too scared of one thing’ if i want to avoid the creatures, so uh. hard to decide. I guess I’m scared of...hm. people who just lack the ability to create bonds with people? people who don’t care about other living things. humans can be fucking terrifying. 

53. What kind of books do you read? Oh, just about anything. Fantasy, realistic fiction, romance, mysteries, thrillers, scifi...all are great. I didn’t used to enjoy nonfiction but it really depends on the nonfiction.

54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? You’re going to have a best friend someday, and it will be everything you wanted. Things with your mother will improve when you’re in your last few years of high school. You’re going to become a great artist.

55.  What is your favourite flower? Not sure! I like many. There was this one flower i found in high school that smelled incredible, but I’ve no idea what it was. I should find it again.

56. Any bad habits you have? ...Well. Not waking up when my alarm goes off is pretty annoying. My procrastination in general’s frustrating. And, well, just between you, me, and the rest of the internet, (tw: self harm) my trichotillomania causes me constant distress and anxiety.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? People who want to learn new things, are kind and compassionate, respect me, and have a good sense of humor. Someone I can be adventurous with.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? Well, i answered a similar question earlier, so I’ll answer for the second most recent time I cried. I was in Pennsylvania, the day I had to fly home, and when I went to check in for my flight, all the seats were taken, and I needed to pay for an upgrade if I wanted to guarantee a spot on the flight. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, except that for both of my flights to get home, an upgrade cost $70. And seventy dollars was a big chunk out of my budget for, you know, food. So I cried out of stress and frustration with the airport companies for charging me seventy bucks for ten more inches of legroom that I didn’t want nor need.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? Not really! In terms of what’s normally accepted as “food” in American society, that is. I don’t care much for worms or insects. Other than that, I’m interested enough to try almost anything once.

60. Are you in love? In love? No. Am I full of love? Yes, for many, many, many things. 

61.  Something you find romantic? Oh man, anything could be romantic if done by someone I care for. I think gentleness is romantic. Quality time is my love language, so if my partner cancelled plans to spend time with me, that’d be romantic. I find romance in trying new things and going to new places.

62. How long was your longest relationship? Four months or so. It’s the only relationship I’ve been in, though, and I hadn’t intended for it to go past summer, so that was longer than I’d even planned on haha.

63, 64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? Opposite sex? Uhhh kind of hard to answer this one. I mean, i hate the culture in which men are raised to be, but I’ve heard that ‘male’ and ‘female’ brains aren’t particularly predisposed to anything in particular? Like, both men and women are capable of emotional intelligence and compassion, it’s just that our culture doesn’t encourage it in men. 

65. What are you saving money for? Food, college. I might treat myself to a school trip to Disney, but I don’t think I have the budget rn. As a student I’m kind of coasting by on the bare minimum rn, I don’t have anything i CAN save up for.

66. How would you describe your bad side? I mostly just avoid you or try to not spend time with you. 

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I am. I care about other people and try to make other people’s lives easier and happier. I try every day to become more sensitive to other perspectives. I do what I can to benefit the earth for those who will come after me.

68. What are you living for? Ooh, deep stuff. I’m living for helping other people. I’m living for my friends and family. 

69 (nice).  Have you ever done anything illegal? Pfft, guys, jaywalking is illegal. So yes. I’ve also drank while underage before. But nothing really big, no.

70.  Do you like your body? Wait a second. This was number 11, too. Well, I guess I’ll change it to What don’t you like about your body? Which is my under-chin. It’s kind of a double chin, kind of not. But while most things I could change about my body, I don’t think I could change that without surgery. And yeah, I’ve thought about it. Not that I have any of the cash for it. I also wish I didn’t have (tw: self-harm) trichotillomania, so I’d have more eyelashes and eyebrows.

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? I think I probably have, to douchebags. Like “hey, that’s inappropriate”.  

72.  Ever sent nudes? Nope!

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? God, no. Big #1 no no for me.

74. Favourite candy? I RECENTLY DISCOVERED TAKE 5′S AND REESES HAVE COMBINED INTO ONE GLORIOUS CANDY BAR, SO, THAT.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! Agh, okay. @ aconfusedbird, @ busket, @ loreweaver-universe, @ orange-plum. The four blogs I don’t actually follow, but whose blogs I visit every day. It changes around every few years. It used to be a different bunch back when I first got on tumblr. I really have no idea why I haven’t followed them. Habit, I suppose? Also, it still won’t let me tag my sib for some reason. (nvm I removed the tags, i don’t want to bother them)

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? lmao uh, that’s kind of an understatement. I can’t list all my favorite games, but I’m very fond of The Last of Us. I have played. So many video games. I’ll chat about them anytime!

77. Favourite TV series? Avatar: The Last Airbender, I think. It’s really hard to top that.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Not really religious, no. I do think that there’s probably a god out there that sparked the Big Bang. I don’t really follow the Christian God because despite what every church service said, I never felt like He loved me. Jesus was a super cool guy, though. If there’s a god out there, I think they pretty much keep to themselves. Maybe have some fun watching creation, but don’t really interact with it at all.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? asdkfj;as i don’t remember. probably my textbook Directing the Story by Francis Glebas? It was a pretty cool book about moviemaking.

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? I’ve reblogged a lot on the subject. I respect those who practice it, but it can cause a lot of environmental harm. In theory, it’s not bad! 

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Like eight years or so? Maybe nine? wild. I visited blogs daily before the number got high enough i was like ‘okay i’ll just make an account’.

82. Do you like Chinese food? Oh, yes!

83-85. McDonalds or Subway?   Vodka or whiskey? Alcohol or drugs? Subway, whiskey and alcohol.

86.  Ever been out of your province/state/country? Yes, yes, and no!

87. Meaning behind your blog name? I’ve had this one for many years now. I really like the word ‘saccharine’ -- inspired by @ saccharinesylph back in the old days -- and i couldn’t just name myself ‘saccharine’, so i needed something else. and I was pretty big into Good Omens at that time, and I was like ‘haha! saccharine, good, omens. saccharine omens!’ Plus, it feels like a very positive and comforting name, and I strive to be a comforting person. 

88. What are you scared of? ok i def answered this moving on

89. Last time you were insulted? uhhhhhhhhh no idea. oh, wait! i know. i was getting graded on my performance at my job late last year and i disagreed with the grade my boss gave me. It was like ‘person shows considerable care of their community and goes above and beyond to educate others’ and i was like ‘oh yeah that’s, like, my whole Thing, my whole Goals and Personality and Ideals’ and then my boss came in and was like ‘2/4′ and i was like ‘wtf??’ Apparently she felt that i just wasn’t really applying that part of myself to my job, and i was like ‘you serious? i’m doing a lot!’ but also she’s my boss.

90. Most traumatic experience? A series of emotionally/mentally abusive things my mom did during my childhood. It’s definitely had the longest lasting effects of any trauma. Permanent anxiety problems, ptsd, my self harm, the whole shebang. Don’t worry, though, like. Things are way better between us, and she’s apologized many times.

91. Perfect date idea? Going on a hike! Maybe walking on a beach. Just spending time together and talking. Eating some delicious food. Spending the entire day with each other, then curling up and cuddling at home and watching a movie. then talking some more. lots of handholding and kisses. im a super hopeless romantic.

92. Favourite app on your phone? the internet, ofc lmao. But other than that I use Animal Crossing Pocket Camp and Pokemon Go an awful lot. 

93. What colour are the walls in your room? At school a boring white, although I’ve taped some art up. At home a really pretty light blue color that I did all myself.

94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? I do! And I like so many channels, honestly. I really like Rachel and Jun, and I really like Pop Culture Detective. I’ve seen a lot of jackscepticeye’s stuff, too. Proko, Vox, and Sinix Design are all good too.

95. Share your favourite quote. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.” -Dr Seuss

96.  What is the meaning of life? To be happy, enjoy yourself, and love others!

97. Do you like horror movies? Ha ha ha, not really. I liked A Quiet Place though. 

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? She’s cried sometimes over how she treated us in the past. Sometimes it happens because I talk about how she’s hurt me. She always expresses regret and apologizes again. 

99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I feel lucky with how I met my best friend. We’d had band together and kind of both thought each other as a cool person, but we didn’t really hit it off until a couple years later and she saw me drawing Homestuck fanart in Psychology lmao. The rest is history. Love you so much, Haley. I feel lucky my mom realized she was being abusive and stopped, too. Not everyone gets that. 

100. Can you keep a secret? Oh, definitely. But do tell me what needs to be secret, otherwise I won’t know. For example, my sib asked me to keep their gf busy while they bought her a present, so I tried, but then she was like ‘oh, where’s your sibling? we should find them’ i was like ‘oh no, i think they’re just buying something, it’s fine’ but she was stubbornly moving toward the checkout and i was like ‘stop, i think they’re buying something for you’ so i. kinda told a secret? i didn’t tell her what the present was though.

JESUS THAT WAS A LOT OF TYPING, LMAO. IT’S THREE AM. GOODNIGHT

#axbox #omishu #about me

[purplesurveys]

571

Why are you taking a survey? Becauuuuuse it’s a Sunday night and I’m not doing anything and I like surveys so I might as well take one. When's the last time you were grounded? First or second year of high school - back when I was majestically flunking algebra. Anything exciting taking place today? The day’s mostly over so not really, but looking back, it wasn’t a very exciting Sunday overall. In fact I was dreading having to wake up because I knew a nasty hangover was waiting to come pouring down on me D: What are you craving? A basket of Korean dumplings or mandu would be amazing right now. Is there anyone in the room with you? My mom is in the same floor (she’s making dinner), but I’m alone in the living room at the moment.

Who's the last person that made you laugh? Andrew, but that was hours ago. I just laughed over a meme five minutes earlier hahahahaha. What's your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you last hit? I don’t get physical with anyone. Do you like kool aid? I’ve never tried it. I’ve only ever seen it in upscale groceries in Manila too, so it’s not very accessible. Are you currently reading a book? No, I’m not. How do you do in school? I’m doing fine I guess. I never miss a deadline, am a good groupmate in projects and more often than not serve as the leader, and I’m still running for Latin honors after almost four years and despite signing up for a number of extracurricular positions and commitments, so I think I’m headed somewhere good. What's your biggest goal? Honestly my idea of being successful is conventional and traditional; I wanna be able to save up enough to be able to settle down, get a (big) house, and have kids. I’d LOVE to travel too but it’s not really my Ultimate Dream. Who have you texted today? Just Gab. It’s been a quiet day and most of my conservations have taken place on Messenger. What was the last thing you did before bed last night? I went over to my mom’s room to say hi because she asked me to drop by to let her know I’m already home (because I was out until 2 AM).

What's your biggest fear? Being humiliated/feeling embarrassed in front a large crowd. Look to your left...what's there? More of our couch. And to your right? Our electronic keyboard. Nina wanted to learn how to play the piano when she was around 9, and my parents fully supported her and got a brand-new keyboard and even hired a tutor for her. She ended up not pursuing it but we haven’t thrown the keyboard out, because we still tinker with it occasionally.

Who do you aspire to be like when you grow up? I don’t have a lot of role model figures in my life. I just want to end up with the best version of myself. Do you know if you want to go to college or not? College is necessary in the Philippines if you want to get anywhere in life, so yeah I kinda had to want to go to it. Laptop or desktop? Laptop. We never had a desktop computer so I lowkey never learned how to turn one on. Do you have an iPod? I technically do in that I own one and still haven’t thrown it out, but I haven’t used it since 2014 or 2015 maybe. Do you have a fan on in the room you're in? Yes, it’s pointed at me right now. Do you have a wallet? I do. What are you sitting on? On the living room carpet. Closest purple object? I’m not so sure. I’m looking around the room and I don’t think we have anything purple lying around. What's the last thing you had to eat? My mom made me fried rice and lumpia for dinner. Heaven. Do you like grapefruits? I don’t like fruits. Sweet or sour? SWEET Have you ever had the Reese's PB Candy Bars? Never. Do you know who Shawn Michaels is? Only one of the best professional wrestlers of all time. He’s very easily my Top 1. Who do you turn to if you need help? Gabie. Her words help more than anyone else’s. Are you more dependant or independant? I am dependent. Are you waiting for anything? Not really. Does the time 2 o'clock have any significance to you? Kind of. My grandma made sure our childhood siestas or afternoon naps started by 2 PM on the dot. As a kid I hated being forced to sleep SO MUCH, but it was an everyday, no-fail routine for a very long time, so it gave me a lot of memorable memories. Do you like bagels? They’re fine. I’d usually get something else at a bakery, but I don’t hate bagels. Are there any stuffed animals in the room you're in? No, just pillows on the couch. What do you think of guys who wear eyeliner? Nothing. They can do whatever they want if it makes them feel good. Favorite tv show? Breaking Bad. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom. She was buying milk tea and wanted to ask what flavor I wanted. Where's your mother? She just finished making dinner so now she is chilling in her room. Do you know who the strongest man in the world is? No. Professional wrestler Mark Henry used to have that title, but he’s retired now so he clearly wouldn’t be the strongest in the world anymore. That’s all I know, lol. Do you like online games? Not really. Do you use Yahoo!Answers? Maybe when I was like 11 or 12. Nowadays I just enjoy it for the meme content. Are you too warm, too cold, or just right? Just right. Do you want a tattoo? I don’t daydream about it, but I’m not opposed to having one especially if the design would mean a lot to me. Is there anything hurting you, on your body right now? My toothaches are magically gone, I’M SO RELIEVED. I’m alright right now, I think. What's your most visited website? It would probably be Twitter. Are you tired? A bit. My hangover is gone but I didn’t get enough sleep overall today, so I’m still feeling a bit tired. What's the best time you've had in the past week? I had a date with Gab yesterday! We don’t get to have legit dates where we wear dresses and heels and go to a classy restaurant all the time, but we planned one out yesterday. It was amazing; we had dinner at this cute place and it was kinda dark so we got to have a candle at our table and just talked for hours :3 It was pretty late when we ended and we were about to go home, but we happened to pass by a jazz bar where a live band was playing so we dropped by for around an hour or so no matter how late it was. I had two Long Island Iced Teas too, so that added to the fun wahahaha. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. Can you cook? Not even to save my life. What time is it? 7:14 PM. Do you love animals? Yes. <3 What's the last thing you touched that wasn't a part of the computer? My phone. What color are your eyes? Black. Are you waiting for a phone call? Not right now, no. Does it annoy you when dogs pant a lot? Why would it annoy me? Who's one person you care about more than yourself? Gab, clearly. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Four. I only got to sleep by 2 AM but I had to wake up at 6 AM to prepare for morning mass, u g h. Are there any pets you're wishing for? Nope, I’m more than content with my dog. When's the last time you used hand sanitizer? Maybe in the last week or so, I’m not super certain. Are you waiting for a phone call? Again, no. Wearing anything that isn't yours? Nope, both top and bottom are mine. What is the most annoying thing in the world, to you? STUPID DRIVERS Whatcha gonna do now? =] Take another survey, hopefully.

#survey #surveys

[littlegiantposts]

pilot

kageyama x f!reader

may contain spoilers!

EDIT: HIIII SO UH THERES A “pilot ~revised~” ON MY PAGE SO I RECCOMENTD READING THAT ONE CUZ IT HAS MORE CONTENT 👍🏽

Here’s the link:

description: In which Y/n is a new addition to Karasuno’s Girl’s Volleyball Club 

THIS IS REALLY JUST LIKE...A TEST RUN..FOR THIS STORY CUZ I DONT THINK IM THAT GREAT AT WRITING and i feel like people wont really like it. so....yeah.

a/n: ok so, I’ve been thinking of this concept so much lately. It started off as just as a nice story to play in my head, but I really wanted to see if I could write it down. So, I felt like I haven’t really seen a lot of imagines or content on the girl’s volleyball club and I felt like it would be cool to explore that side. First things first, I am raised in California. Thus, I am quite incompetent in knowledge about Japan schooling. All my knowledge is really from me googling stuff and ofc, watching haikyuu. With that said, if I made a mistake on the take of Japan schooling, I do not mean to cause any offense. This is solely for entertainment purposes. With that said, I do not own the characters of haikyuu. However, there are some characters I made up with my own imagination. In addition, this is an “x reader” sort of story but I will be defining some of her characteristics so I am sorry if it hinders you from imagining its you. Finally, I am not that good at writing stories lol but im trying. I hope you enjoy.

I hate introductions. Y/n thought to herself as she sat back down in her seat after standing in front of the class, stating her name and her previous school. Her gaze shifted towards the window. The sun was out and shining and she had the perfect view of the gymnasium. Oh how she just wanted to get up from her uncomfy chair and leave the boring lecture and head towards the gym. 

It was the first day of school for Y/n at Karasuno High. It’s not like she started in the middle of the semester, no, she was just about a month late into the school year. With her work ethic, she didn’t feel any pressure in order to catch up with everyone else. She knew she would get it done.

It’s not really her fault she came a bit late into the school year either. Her dad’s job required a small move, not that she was complaining. She didn’t really feel tied down at her old high school because: she wasn’t there for that long and she didn’t really make any friends, despite joining a sport. 

It’s not that she didn’t want to make friends. It seems that her track record, or the lack thereof, from junior high with meeting new people has left an imprint on her.

Y/n looks down at the worksheet that was passed out in the beginning of class. The assignment was already completed due to Y/n’s eagerness to finish any homework that would take away time from her main passion.

Some people would say she was obsessed. Some would say dedicated. She simply sees volleyball as an opportunity. The class bell rings, signaling for lunch. Before she realizes it, she is walking towards the gym, in which she would meet the girl’s volleyball captain. As she is switching shoes, she can hear screaming from inside. 

“-What did I tell you about touching my onigiri! You are going to pay for that!” “I really didn’t mean it this time, I promise! I didn’t know it was yours!” The voices were muffled, yet she was still able to hear the sincerity in both of the voices. Y/n was about to open the gymnasium’s door when the door swung open by a tall pink-haired girl. She was being chased by another tall girl with long blonde hair, but she was a bit shorter than the pink one. Before Y/n could process stepping aside because it seemed the pink-haired girl had no inclination in stopping, she was tumbled to the ground by the girl who she can only guess took an onigiri without permission. As well, the blonde clumsily tripped and fell on top of the two.

“You idiots! Will you stop it! We already told you, we got a guest coming today and we want to make a good first impression!” A stern voice called out inside the gym.

“Um, Moa-san, I think our wishes are already soiled.” Another voice chimed in from the gym.

“Wha- You dumbasses! Hey, are you okay?” A girl with dirty blonde hair came out from the entrance and offered a hand towards Y/n as the two perpetrators started to get up with apologies towards Y/n. 

“Yeah, I am good.” Despite just being tackled to the ground, Y/n remains as neutral as ever. 

“Aren’t you going to ask if we are okay?” The energetic, pink haired spoke.

“As if I care when you collide into our guest! You really need to be more cautious, Etsuko!” She barked. “I am Aihara Moa. Pleasure to meet you. You’re the first year that turned that application past the deadline, right?” she states more calmly than her previous statement. 

“Pleasure is all mine. And, yes. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Y/n states with quite the unfazed face. 

Does this kid crack a smile once in a while? Moa asked in her mind. She seems quite different than the other first years we have. Her thoughts continue.

“I am Oba Yuma and this is Morita Etsuko.” Yuma, who had the pretty, long blonde hair, spoke with a warm smile.

“Why did you introduce me?! I wanted to have a cool introduction!” Etsuko huffed with a small pout. 

“Well, it’s not like you can recover your so-called ‘cool introduction’ from that full-body collision.” Yuma smoothly replied. Etsuko’s eyes widened and cheeks heated up as she couldn’t come up with a sly comeback to her logic. 

“You guys are just lucky that Rinko isn’t here to scold you.” Moa warned the 2 first years. With the mention of the scary third year that wasn’t even the captain, yet she reigned supreme in the disciplinary department, they shivered at the thought of the punishment. 

As Y/n stepped further into the big, bright court, she spotted that she could only assume was the captain as she looked so appalled at what happened. 

“Hello, you must be Michimiya Yui.” Y/n knew she had to say something to pull the worried captain from her thoughts. 

“Hi! Yes, that’s me! I am so sorry for those two. I would say they aren’t always like that, but I don’t want to lie to a potential teammate.” Yui spoke with an uneasy smile.

Yuma and Etsuko’s interests peaked when they heard “a potential teammate” come out of their captains' mouths. They were the only first years on the team, so the thought of another person in the same boat as them made them excited and wanted to join the conversation. The two first years gave each other a look and started to walk towards Yui and hopefully their new friend. However, before they could even be in ear-shot, the pair got pulled away by Sasaki Chizuru, another third year.

“Oh, no. Don’t think you will be bombarding her with questions right off the bat.” She bluntly states.

“Oh, c’mon Sasaki, aren’t you curious about her? Like how did she get into volleyball? Or even, is she a beginner? Or maybe she is an absolute monster who dominates the court!” Etsuko proclaimed as her mind went too fast for her mouth to follow.

“As of right now, it’s not our business. All we can do, and are allowed to do”, emphasizing the word ‘allowed’, “is to watch from the sidelines and quietly eat our lunches.” Chizuru instructed the first years and pointed at the far corner of the gym. 

Despite her own words, Chizuru couldn’t help but glance at Y/n and wonder the same things that the first year questioned. At face value, Y/n was quite the enigma. The 2 first years gave a pout, but headed towards their desired location.

“So, you came from Niiyama Girls' High? That’s a really good school for volleyball. What made you come to Karasuno?” Yui asked.

“It was the most ideal school in terms of my dad’s work location.” Y/n states plainly. She didn’t technically lie. Well, it was an ideal school in terms to the proximity to her new apartment, but that was not the only reason. She saw videos of their interhigh-prelims last year and to be quite frank, Y/n was not entirely impressed with the state of their team. However, she knew that this meant there was room to grow for them. She knew very well that she could have gone to Shiratorizawa and joined their girls’ volleyball club. Objectively, with her skill set, Shiratorizawa made sense. Nonetheless, Y/n didn’t know what compelled her to pick this one. She convinced herself it was because she is a sucker for rooting the underdog. 

Does this kid show any emotion? Yui thought in her mind. It’s like nothing affects her. Her thoughts continued.

“How long have you been playing volleyball?” Yui curiously asked.

“Since the 2nd grade.” Y/n quickly states. As much as she wasn’t showing it, she was just itching to show what she can do. The court was right there in front of her, after all.

“That’s impressive, alright, well if you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to see some serves and sets from you. After school, we can hold a three on three since we all aren’t really in the right clothes to play.” 

“Sounds good.” To say Y/n was excited would be an understatement. As she removed her cream sweater, she could feel a set of eyes burning a hole on her back. She turned around to put her sweater down and realized that she was wrong. It wasn’t one pair of eyes, it was all of them, curious to see how good she really is. She could feel her heart pounding at the thought of holding everyone’s attention. She knew if she let her mind continue, the nerves would get to her and hinder her performance. She took deep breaths and started to quietly humm a song that was previously playing on her phone from her morning ride to school. 

Yui passed a volleyball to her and ran to the other side of the net, and yelled, “Let’s see what ya got!”

Y/n carried herself behind the serve line, taking one deep breath to keep her hands from shaking. With that exhale, she opened her eyes and focused her sights on Yui. The captain wouldn’t admit it, but she could already feel herself sweating under the first year’s gaze.  

She looks so intimidating. I’m not even on the court, yet I’m scared. Yuma viewed Y/n’s determined look. For Y/n, it was as if everything crumbled away and the only thing remained was the court. She starts her run up.

A jump serve?! Yuma, Etsuko, and Chizuru incredulously thought simultaneously with eyes basically bugging out of their head. They watch in amazement as she jumps with severe height and reeled her arm back. After that, all that could be sensed was a loud snap and then the ball smacked the ground next to the wide-eyed captain. The impact from the ball gave a small breeze through Yui’s short hair. The deafening silence that followed her serve filled the room in an instant. Those watching from the sidelines had to pick up their jaws from the floor.

“She’s a first year?! Are you sure?!” Etsuko broke the silence with her curiosity getting the best of her. 

“Boke Etsuko! That was already clarified, don’t make her repeat herself!” Yuma scolded. While Yui read your capabilities on your application form, it was nothing like actually being on the receiving end in real time. 

“That’s quite a serve she got in her arsenal.” A voice startled the three high school students, sitting on the sidelines. Etsuko and Yuma were the most startled, but Chizuru was quite used to her fellow classmates popping in every now and then.

“Seriously, Sudou. We have to put a bell on you or something because I don’t think my heart can take any of your surprise entrances.” Sudou Rinko only slyly chuckles at Etsuko remark. She looks over at Y/n and Yui on the court.

“Did you guys see the precision on that serve?” Rinko posed to the other three sitting on the ground, munching on their lunch.

“Well, not really, but it landed, like, near Michimiya, right?” Etsuko tries to come up with the answer that Rinko was looking for. 

“It landed right next to her left foot. I think that pipsqueak is able to aim her serve.”

“What?! That’s insane.”

“Yeah, insane, but not impossible.”

“With her, maybe we can win more games!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Etsuko, a team is only good if everyone is giving their all.” Yuma reminds. “After all, there’s not only one person on the court, there’s six.”

“I heard she came from Niiyama Girls' High” Sudou stated as she reverted her gaze back to her fellow teammates. They stared at her after she gave more information on the stranger in their gym. 

“Why would she come to Karasuno then?” Yuma asked honestly. She knew that her team had strengths, but she also knew that other teams had strengths that overpowered them.

“How could you diss your own school like that?” Etsuko was almost angry at how her teammate was treating their school. She always was the one to take pride in everything she does. 

“No, that’s a valid question. It makes sense that a player with her caliber would be well-suited in a powerhouse school.” Rinko supported Yuma in her question. All four look ahead and see that Y/n is beginning to set for Yui.

“Her precision and accuracy are so on point, it almost makes me sick.” Yuma commented on how your form for setting only held the necessities. Y/n stepped with purpose, and it showed as she passed a nice set for Yui, allowing her to have optimal choices in where she can place her spike.

so um, that’s really all i got haha I started this like yesterday instead of doing hw so yeah. Feedback and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. So, did u like it? Did u hate it? Are u confused by it? lol yeah okie bye 

#karasuno #kageyama #kageyamatobio #kageyamaxreader #haikyuu!! #haikyuuxreader #tobio #tobio x you #hinata shoyuo #daichi #suga #daichi sawamura #sugawara kōshi #tanaka ryuunosuke #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #nishinoya #asahi #kageyamaimagine #tobio x reader

[sweetdeathwrites]

silent night

Summary: Holiday shopping is always stressful, but somehow, Gokudera managed to finish shopping even with the added responsibilities of his duties as right hand man to Tsuna and the organization of the annual Vongola-Varia holiday party. Still, Gokudera can't shake the feeling that he's missing something... and he hates not knowing.

[23 year old!Gokudera Hayato/Reader] Warnings: angst, doubt, self-hatred, guilt.... the full package baby! plus some sexual innuendo/referenced sexual situations

Word Count: 6,253

(reposted [crossposted? idk what that means...] from my Luna/AO3 account!)

(Original author’s note and details:

[a gift for dark_wing19 in the 2018 Holiday Fic Trade!! Happy Holidays and I hope you enjoy!] A/N: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas if you celebrate that, and Happy New Year! This was so incredibly fun to write and I never really pegged myself as the type of person to enjoy writing holiday fic!! I mention a few times about the Vongola having a Holiday party instead of a Christmas party because I wanted to be respectful of all readers, but also because don’t you think the Vongola would do just that?? I can imagine the Vongola and Varia getting into arguments about how to celebrate everyone’s holidays without having multiple parties because, as we all know, parties that extend well into hundreds of people are no doubt expensive, but more importantly, the Vongola and Varia are very busy people! And all that plane fare for those groups going from one place to the other?? That would just break the bank! I like to imagine the top bosses (yes, I’m including Dino) gathering together and deciding that they will all have one big party together, and celebrate every holiday and religious day that occurs within the season! I think the bosses can be very reasonable when it comes to parties. This fic is for dark_wing19!! I’m really sorry about the wait, I had this almost done by Dec 24th and planned to post on Christmas but time got away from me and blah blah blah… It IS still technically within the deadline so I hope you didn’t wait too long! I tried to use all prompts, “In search of the perfect gift,” “All I want for Christmas is you,” “Sometimes the best gifts aren’t materialistic,” and “It’s the thought that counts!”. Hope you enjoy it! It got weirdly angsty for a hot sec so sorry about that lol I imagine Gokudera and the gang are older in here, but not quiet 10YL! Yet. Maybe they’re 23?)

–––––––––––––––––––––––––

It’s that time of the year again. Bells are ringing, children play in the freshly fallen snow, and the storefronts sparkle with unbeatable, slashed deals. It’s twilight, and Christmas trees and light decorations shine warmly in nearby parks, leaving the general feeling of contentedness twisting in the air. Couples walk down the street, arm in arm, blushing with a gentle passion as their little intimate bubbles of love remain unburst by the slow muddle of foot traffic. The one, teensy, ashen little smudge on the eve of the most magical time of the year is currently pushing against traffic, through lovebirds who squawk in protest and annoyance, and stepping in wide arcs much too harshly, crunching and slushing freshly fallen snow. Children complain and some throw feeble snowballs, but they all miss (did they want to deal with the consequences of if, by some terrible, unlikely miracle, they hit him?). Big, poisonous clouds of smoke curl out from his nostrils like some sort of fairy tale dragon, and lovers and young ones alike know to stay clear from him. This man is Gokudera Hayato.

Gokudera has his mind on other things, though. Right now, he’s thinking of his boss and friends– the people he’s been calling his family for years. He’s marking down everyone he’s gotten presents for and which gift wrap would suit them the best (because of course he’s going to color code them– how could he not?), all the while shouldering his way back to his shared apartment with you. Finally, his gift shopping was over! It was long and hard, with a famiglia as big as his, but the famous Smoking Bomber got through it all, even if he was cutting it a little close to the deadline! Confident in his memory, Gokudera checks his mental list (more than twice, in fact) to be sure everyone is accounted for. He is proud of himself for this, which isn’t something he can say about everything he does.

“Tsuna’s got a new watch, tie, and cologne set… Baseball idiot has a gift card to that stupid milk-based snack store and knife sharpening stones… Even Turf-Top has tickets to a boxing tournament… Lambo… that kid’s got candy… Who else…?” Gokudera murmurs to himself as he trods home, weary and eager to put down the multitude of bags that have been digging pale, red indents into his skin for the past few hours, cutting off circulation and making his already sour attitude almost unbearable. Gokudera hoists the paper straps higher up his forearms and regrips the about dozen in his hands with a new intensity: just a few more minutes and he would be home. Home with you– a hot chocolate in his hands, some soft holiday music playing in the background, and a blanket wrapped around him and the most lovely little minx he’s ever seen in his life: you! By now, the pile of presents under the Holiday tree (named so, by all of the Vongola to respect every member’s religion and beliefs!) must be taller than the tree itself!

Gokudera has hardly had a second to take for himself in the past few weeks, consumed by business and his duties as Tsuna’s right hand man, not to mention organizing the Vongola Holiday Hullabaloo (named by popular vote in order to be truly inclusive, and also, perhaps to be just the slightest bit silly. Gokudera can’t say it with a serious face. The Vongola family uses every possible chance to make him say it.) single handedly. Maybe the single handedly part was Gokudera’s own fault, as he stubbornly refused help from anyone… But besides that, and the gift buying, Gokudera sighs with the relief that comes from finally finishing all his tasks. Now that he has a second to himself, Gokudera can’t help but wonder what may lie under the Holiday tree for him… Maybe you got him some new jewelry, or perhaps a piece of technology from Giovanni that would allow him to modify his boxes with even more firepower! Or maybe a coupon for a couple’s massage excursion– no, a full on spa day together? With that thought, Gokudera takes a deep, slow breath.

Calm down, boy, he thinks to himself, Don’t get excited over what you don’t know.

In truth, Gokudera has been rather stressed lately. He misses the time he had, before this chaotic season, that he spent with you.

In his thoughts, everything seems perfect. Gokudera’s fantasizing about hurrying home and collapsing in your arms is a bit dramatic– what else can be expected of him?– but there’s something bothering him… Something at the back of his mind that just gnaws and gnaws until suddenly, but building ever so slowly, there are big holes of anxiety in his brain like swiss cheese. What the hell is missing?

“Shit,” Gokudera mumbles. He finally moves away from impeding pedestrian traffic and finds a small bench where he can rest his feet for a bit, but more importantly, riffle through his purchases. He feels like something’s missing. It’s a feeling he absolutely hates.

“Tsuna, Yamamoto, Ryohei, Lambo, Mukuro and Chrome, Hibari, Kyoko, Haru, Big Sis, some smaller stuff for the Varia… A box of chocolates for Tsuna’s Maman… Reborn…”

The more Gokudera digs through dozens of paper bags, the harder a feeling of emptiness sets in. His brow furrows as he counts every gift once more, grinding the butt of his nearly smoked out cigarette between his teeth.

What the hell is missing?

Feeling the frustration build, he pulls out his pack and lights another cigarette, rubbing out the used one on the bench. Gokudera fumbles around in his winter coat for a lighter he knows is in there and bites the fresh cigarette between his teeth. After coming up empty, he drops the rest of the bags the were weighing on his wrists to search his other pocket– he knows he has his lighter in there somewhere!

Gokudera’s fingers find it in the downy inner pocket of the overcoat, next to a small, but very important box that he’s kept in there for a few months, blunt nails bumping against smooth plastic that he’s so familiar with. The muscles around his mouth tug in what you, his darling beloved would call a slight smile; strangers that hurriedly pass him might call it different. The hunched man seated on a bench in the snow, surrounded by too many bags for a single man to carry, glaring pure heat indiscriminately at everything that moves would be more inclined to call that a grimace, or less politely, a full out snarl. However, the relief and joy Gokudera feels just grabbing the lighter make him feel like he’s walking on Cloud Nine.

He pulls it out, strikes the mechanism, and takes a long huff of that little stick of poison. The lighter is pink and covered with worn (or the term Gokudera prefers, “well loved”) stickers of kitties and hearts and cream puffs. You gave it to him on your one-year anniversary, before you realized how much of a problem his smoking habit was and how dangerous the consequences of smoking were. By your second shared anniversary, you totally denounced smoking and your previous gift, instead urging him to wean himself off and maybe start using nicotine patches, or get on prescriptions to help him off smoking.

Gokudera smiles at your concern, and with your help he’s been able to significantly reduce how much he smokes. But old habits die hard and he needs some instant relief right now. Taking another puff and feeling the nicotine swim in his lungs, filling him with a familiar sense of ease, he can’t help but feel little wiggling worm of guilt for smoking not just one, but two cigarettes in a single day. It’s been stressful, he tries to placate himself. Gokudera wonders how you’ll take the strong smell of ash on his mouth when you kiss him to welcome him home.

You kissing him is one of his favorite activities to do with you– among many others– and he wonders if you’ll abstain from that lovely affection again like you did when he last smoked this much in a day…

He doesn’t want to miss out on a single moment of your love.

Of a single moment of you.

Gokudera shakes off the build of ash that collects on the red tip of the cigarette. A little bead of recognition is rolling up into his brain, slowly, so very slowly… He takes another long puff and goes cross eyed watching that little scarlet circle rush towards the filter…

You.

“SHIT!” Gokudera vaults off the park bench, startling several passersbys and some mothers cover their children’s ears. Caring nothing for the delicate sensibilities of the general public, Gokudera scoops up all his purchases and runs back into the fray of holiday shopping in a panic.

A million gift ideas have come and gone through his head through the entire month of December, and for that whole month he’s pondered and entertained the idea of gifts, then rejected it with thoughts of “No, that’s too cheesy” or “Can’t get them that, that’s way overdone,” only to eventually forget that he failed to get you anything at all.

Gokudera feels overly warm in his winter coat– suddenly, he remembers you were the one to buy it for him and why was it that you seemed to buy him all his favorite things?– and all around him it seems shops are closing their doors and turning over their cursive “We’re Open!” signs.

He runs up to a glassware store with tea sets in the display window– you like tea cups and those cute little spoons, right?– just as a teenaged employee turns off the display lights. He meets eyes with the teen and there must be a wild desperation in his eyes because she reaches for the lock on the door to let him in, but a yell from behind the young worker causes her to jump and turn away from Gokudera.

His heart is pumping loud enough he can hear it in his ears and feel the pulse high in his throat as he silently begs that something just fell over in the store. No managers here, no siree.

To his greatest dismay, the girl turns back to him, with the deepest pity in her eyes, and her hand falls away from the lock. Green eyes are reflected back to Gokudera in the glass door and he sees just how pale and panicked he looks. Through that, the girl in the closed store frowns and shakes her head slowly– no, and I’m sorry.

Breath shakily falls out of Gokudera’s lungs and a hot burn touches his lip and he spits the cigarette he forgot he was smoking to the ground. With a groan, he touches his lip to find it tender, most likely slightly burnt. But he has no time for that. He stomps out the cigarette, in case it didn’t fizzle out in the snow, and turns heel to run around the shopping plaza against, in the desperate hope that some store, any store, is open for him to get you a gift that isn’t absolutely terrible.

He sees a lingerie store across the plaza with its lights still on. Should he… Does he dare?... No time to find out, Gokudera thinks, as he shuffles as fast as he can to the store, the bags around him making the loudest and most embarrassing sound he’s ever heard in his life.

It’s the sound of the dumbest boyfriend in the whole fucking world.

He’s fifty feet away when he considers what sort of boyfriend he is to buy you lingerie for a holiday. On one hand, it’s a sweet, sexy gift that you can wear whenever you want, and he knows you enjoy that. On the other, isn’t it selfish of him to buy you lingerie? After all, you’ll probably be wearing it for him, and in most cases, for hardly ten minutes at a time. Wouldn’t this be more of a gift for him?

He’s thirty five feet away when he considers that, hey, maybe if you don’t like it, he wouldn’t be the worst boyfriend in the world. You would have something as a gift and he could always get you an apology bouquet of roses (“Sorry, I Fucked Up” written in sad, loopy cursive) and a box of bourbon chocolates. Maybe a stuffed animal to boot. Maybe it’s a nice, sexy way of saying how much he loves you, and how much he loves you in the more… physical sense, too.

No, Hayato shakes his head, that’s so stupid.

He’s twenty feet away when he wonders if they have anything in his size. You get dressed up to impress him all the time– why shouldn’t he as well? When you wear anything with lace and silk he feels all hot under the collar… Why can’t he do the same for you? He’s not entirely sure how you would react to him in a lacy bralet and some thigh highs, but if past experience has told him anything, it is more than likely you would pounce on him before he could say anything witty as a hello.

Not even “Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?” Gokudera thinks to himself in a delirious, out of body way. Nope. Not even that.

“Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

No go, buddy,

“Hello, gorgeous?”

Sure, why not say it with a rose between your teeth, too?

He’s ten feet away when he thinks that, yes, purchasing lingerie for himself would be a nice present for you– maybe he could get a nice red velvet number with a white fur trim to match yours. The emotional bonding of two people, simply lounging around and being in love in lingerie must be rather significant. That skin-to-skin contact, the intimate traces of silk, lace, latex, or even leather?.. That must truly send a shock up the spine, right? It does for him, when you sit on his lap in teasing, almost see-through netting, in that fiery red color of his flame. And with the both of you in lingerie, what sort of gaudy opulence is that!

He’s five feet away when, all on board with his plan, in his mind the most significant barrier to his plan is the size restrictions all stores have. He’s not sure if men’s lingerie even exists, but that’s no matter to him. Gokudera is fully worried on whether or not he can fit the women’s sizes that this store provides. The holiday season must have wiped most of the sophisticated styles from the racks. He can deal with looking a little racy, but will he be able to fit the sizes? Gokudera doesn’t think he has enough time to get his bra sized, or if they even have his band size in stock. If they don’t have any bras that fit him, he supposes he’ll have to settle for a teddy or some sort of sexy contraption that fits around his chest loosely. For the bottoms… Well, he’s seen the underwear you have for special occasions and what’s on display in this shop, and frankly? The goal of the underwear doesn’t seem to be to conceal, so Gokudera thinks he will be fine in whatever he chooses. And he knows you have some lovely garters and stockings he can fit; from previous experiences, both of some sexy, but also of some simply curious endeavors.

He knows he has some high heels that he can wear as well– these are from a mission he had to cooperate with the Varia– Lussuria, in particular– that ended in satisfaction but the details of the mission are things he would rather not remember or talk about. In the end, though, he learned that Lussuria is not as unbearable as he originally thought, that Lussuria might actually be a pretty good friend, and that Gokudera looks damn good as a woman.

Gokudera is standing right in front of the store, face almost pressed to the glass, when he realizes that it is closed and the lights are simply a festive, though confusing, decoration choice. Shit.

The walk back to that sad little park bench is slow and each step fills him with a pitting sense of dread that makes his feet feel they’re chained. Yellow light flickers above him and casts Gokudera’s shadow long and mourning, as the lamp post seems to feed off of his dilemma. Gokudera’s palms press into his too warm eyes and he is completely at a loss for what to do next.

A sudden buzz in his pants pocket scares him out of his misery before he realizes it’s a phone call. After he realizes it’s a phone call, he’s even more scared. He’s sliding the cell out of his pocket when a million thoughts rush through his mind. What if it’s you? Would he lie? No, sweetheart, I have everything under control, don’t worry about a thing. I’m just the absolute worst boyfriend in the world– nothing you didn’t already know. Love you, be home soon.

It’s Tsuna. Gokudera moans in relief and answers.

“Hey, Gokudera, how’s the Hullabaloo coming along?”

“BOSS!” Gokudera shouts into the receiver. A small noise of pain meets him from the other side.

“Y-Yeah?”

“I’m…” hesitation pulls at the right hand man’s voice, “in a bit of a situation.”

Tsuna finally gets the full story out of Gokudera nearly ten minutes later, with many pauses for apologizes and his best friend agonizing about how he forgot the love of his life’s present. Silence falls over the phone when Gokudera takes a deep breath after his explanation.

“Well,” Tsuna’s voice is light and tinny over the call, “you do actually have a present.”

“What?” Gokudera’s brow furrows and his fingers twitch in the craving for another cigarette.

His boss laughs, not condescending, but in a way that gives Gokudera the sense that he’s missing something. And that is a feeling that Gokudera hates very much. Gokudera pulls out the cigarette carton: damn the consequences, he’ll have as many as he wants tonight.

“Hayato,” Tsuna says, “you have a ring.”

At that, all the blood drains from Gokudera’s face leaving him as pale as the snow that surrounds him. Now he really needs a cigarette.

Gokudera swallows and clears his throat after a pause that was longer than it needed to be. “S-So?” he says, and shakily lights what’s clenched too tight between his teeth. It lights but Gokudera doesn’t seem to feel any warmth from it.

“So? So, Hayato, you’ve been sitting on this for months. No, it’s closer to a year now, isn’t it?”

“Well, I– it’s more complicated than that– y-you see–”

“Hayato, you’ve been giving me excuses for months.” A tired sigh comes over the receiver and a quiet moment passes where Gokudera’s eyes lift. Now all the stores are closed and empty. A light, thin snowfall hides footprints just barely and lights in apartment buildings start to disappear. It’s late. He hopes that you’re sleeping, but he hopes even more that you waited for him so he wouldn’t miss holding you close in bed on such a special evening.

“I think it’s time.” Tsuna isn’t pressuring. Tsuna is concerned.

Gokudera takes a big suck from the cigarette and watches the heat from his breath and the nicotine tinged smoke rise white against the dark, velvet lined sky. His voice comes out weak. “I’m not ready.”

“Are you? Are you really?”

Gokudera closes his eyes and buries his head in his hands, fingers pulling at his soft silver hair, the hair you love to run your hands through and wash and brush for him.

“I don’t think I can do it.”

Tsuna snorts, “Of course you can!”

“I’m afraid.”

At that, Tsuna quiets. No one speaks. The man he trusts so implicitly and so completely, the man he found most capable in the world, the man who was his first friend– how could he doubt himself so? How can Tsuna help his best friend when he can’t help himself?

But he can.

They aren’t fourteen anymore. They’re grown. Tsuna has matured into a fine mafia boss, fitting for the Vongola. Fitting for his family. Tsuna is a man now.

“Hayato,” he begins, “it’s okay to be afraid. This is a big commitment. You’ve been thinking about this for years, saving up to buy a ring. Turning it over in your hands at night, right? When you think they’re sleeping and you’re just torn apart by it?” Gokudera laughs softly in reply. His boss– his best friend knows him so well.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Tsuna continues, tone growing rough over the phone. “But don’t you ever fucking say that you’re not ready.”

Gokudera almost swallows his cigarette in shock, choking on the smoke. He can count the times Tsuna has said “fuck” on his fingers. Maybe he would have to use his toes too, but Tsuna hasn’t really sworn much since they were handed their high school diplomas and threw fringed caps in the air.

“Do you think you would have bought a ring if you weren’t ready? That you would have come to ask my blessing, which you’ve always had, if you weren’t ready? Hayato, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see love in you. It’s in the way you talk, I can see it in the way you hold yourself. Your eyes, Hayato, I see that love there. It’s not just my intuition, it’s a fact. Don’t you ever doubt yourself about that.”

Gokudera, floored, immediately apologizes, assuming his position as right hand man and subordinate. “I-I’m so sorry, Boss, I didn’t mean–”

“For the love of god, Hayato, shut up!” Tsuna yells, “Don’t disrespect me like this! Don’t disrespect the family like this! Don’t you know how much we believe in you? In your future? How any of us would do anything to help you get a shot at happiness?

“So don’t you dare disrespect us like this. You’re ready, Hayato. Don’t you dare disrespect yourself like this, and don’t you fucking dare disrespect your partner like this.”

The line goes quiet except for Tsuna’s panting and Gokudera doesn’t know what to say.

He’s seen this love for family in Tsuna before, experienced it back in middle school when he almost blew himself to bits to win against the Varia, but it never fails to wipe him out with the depth and sincerity of Tsuna’s love. It’s a love that, to a stranger, could be easily mistaken for rage. But Gokudera is no stranger and he can’t stop the hot tears from spilling over his green eyes, palm pressed firm against his teeth so he Tsuna can’t hear him cry.

“T-Tsuna…” Gokudera manages to croak out, with not much else to say.

“Hayato,” his childhood best friend says in a much quieter voice, “Please stop holding yourself back. You deserve happiness. You’ve protected this family for so long, and we will always protect you… But you deserve to give yourself the chance to start your own family, grow your own happiness. It’s a risk, but please take that chance.”

Tsuna can hear Gokudera sniff on the other side of the line. He smiles.

“Yeah… O-Of course, Tsuna,” Gokudera swallows. “I think I’m ready.”

You’re worried. The clock reads well past midnight and Hayato isn’t home yet.

He left the house in the early afternoon, when the cool winter light hit him so softly and beautifully that you couldn’t help but kiss him goodbye so many times that he had to drag you on the couch and kiss you just as much in return. He promised to try to be home early so that you could bundle up together in front of the fire and plug in the tree lights, pull out hidden presents and put them under the tree. Hayato laughed and said that he wanted to watch holiday movies on the television with you, and yes, even the really awful ones because it was something he said he might actually enjoy if he experienced it with you. He laughs in this soft way around you, a laugh he doesn’t have with anyone else. It’s tender and he has this strange little smile that’s even softer when he looks at you. It could be love. It scared you at first, but you’re certain now, and it’s not so scary when it’s so gentle. You hope it’s love. You love him back.

You’re very worried.

For an hour or three, you passed out in front of the TV in the living room wearing his pajamas that are way too long for you. The spirit of the season made you sentimental, what can you say? But those few hours disoriented you and the sun had long since set. Through the glass windows above the kitchen sink, you can see the snow had started falling again. It had picked up.

Hot chocolate sits on the kitchen counter in lovely holiday mugs that you received as a present one year but the drink has been cool for the better part of an hour now. You don’t feel thirsty with the way things are now.

The small window pane in the front door shakes shrilly in its frame when the wind picks up and you jump. It’s even colder out now. You’re just barely tethering yourself from running headfirst into a panic attack but Hayato hasn’t picked up his phone calls and the last few went straight to voicemail. The house feels bigger without him, lonelier, but so much more claustrophobic as well. It’s the juxtaposition of the fearful, you know, but you can’t quiet those worries of him being stuck somewhere without help, freezing to death in the cold– you should have made him wear those gloves and wrapped that extra cashmere scarf around him as you kissed him goodbye for the second try. What if something bad happened to him? What if the worst happened to him?

You’re nearly burning a hole in the carpet with your pacing, and just as you’re about to call up Tsuna and wake him at an ungodly hour, technically the day of the Vongola Holiday Hullabaloo (you pushed very hard for that name), the front door rattles with the struggle of keys not turning the locks, you all but break down the door.

Gokudera, despite his quiet attempts to enter the house without waking you, curses and can’t seem to get his keys to cooperate and open the damn door. He’s freezing out here, he grumbles to no one in particular. He does say something rather nasty and biting about Jack Frost, though. Maybe the door is so hard to open because his hands are all but pieces of a cadaver with how frozen they are from the elements and refusing his damn gloves you tried to get him to wear earlier, and the combination of the heaviness and multitude of his many shopping bags.

Gokudera gets the shit scared out of him when the door knob flies out of his hand and he’s face to face with the love of his life, who is absolutely pissed the fuck off.

“Hayato!” You hiss, and drag him inside.

He’s startled by your abruptness but you’re wrapped in your favorite blanket from your shared bed and he notices, giddily, you’re wearing his pajamas and they’re just so big on you and you’re just so goddamned cute and–

“I swear! I almost called the cops, Hayato! But I couldn’t, because my man is the bane of their existence, so you know what I was doing? Just worrying my damn head off! If my hair turns gray and all falls out, I’m holding you personally accountable! What were you doing out so late? It’s freezing!” You rant and chastise and shake your head, but you help him put his bags down and take off his coat, putting it over the couch. You take his hands in yours and gasp.

“Jesus, Hayato!” You bring his hands to your mouth and blow hot air on them, rubbing and trying to warm them, “You feel like ice!”

“Tell me about it,” he groans, and leans his full body weight on to you, tipping the both of you over. Luckily, he made sure the couch would be there to catch you.

“Hayato, I’m serious! I was so worried!..” Your voice takes on a wounded edge as you trail away, burying your face into his chest, speckled with stubborn, melting snowflakes. The man above you looks down to see your hair wild from running your hands through it and that makes him uncomfortably guilty. Another feeling he hates, especially when it concerns you.

“Hey, I’m, uh,” he sits up and brings your face up to his. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t say anything but turn your face into his palm and sigh. He smells like ash.

“I lost track of time and Tsuna called me about–” he stops talking. When you look up at him he has a lost, helpless look on him. His hand on your face twitches against your cheek but it doesn’t leave. Hayato clears his throat.

“He, uh, called me about the party tomorrow. Then my phone died, sorry.”

“Hullabaloo,” you remind him, ghost of a smile creeping up your face.

He groans and the atmosphere is suddenly light, and the rest of the room returns in technicolor, high definition, 1080p. The crackle and lovely warm smell of the fireplace greets him and the television plays some god awful Hallmark movie softly. Gokudera finally feels the burn of the cold he’s been out in all night and he bunkers down further on the couch with his arms wrapped around you, pulling you half in his lap and you squeak a bit but don’t protest.

“Whatever,” he grumbles and buries his face in your neck. He missed you.

You squirm in his lap– his nose is cold!– and say, voice full of mischief, “It’s called a Hullabaloo,” and when greeted with another complaint from Gokudera you say more insistently, “What is it called, Hayato, love of my life?”

His hair tickles your neck as he shakes his head and says, in the resigned way only a man that’s hopelessly in love and fighting a losing battle can say–

“Ugh. Fine. It’s a damned Hullabaloo…”

He feels you roll over in his grasp so you straddle his hips and your face is looking up at him, gentle and kind.

“Thank you.”

“You’re not welcome.”

Within a commercial break, Hayato is settled in and donning a new set of sleepwear, snug and warm on the couch, and you have hot chocolate and sugar cookies in spades. He’s got an arm around you and you are all but tangled in him. You can hear his heartbeat in his chest, faster than normal, and it’s concerning but the debacle you were faced for the past few hours has exhausted you and the low, dancing lights from the Christmas tree lull you to a happy sleep. The both of you know you won’t be awake in a few moments.

“Hayato?”

“Yeah, babe?”

He feels your breath warm against his exposed collar and it’s almost as nerve wracking as it is a comfort. He’s all too aware of that little box in his coat, just behind the two of you to his right, slung over the couch. It’s the heaviest little box in the world, he’s sure.

“I was really worried. I thought something happened to you…”

“I know,” Hayato whispers and places a kiss on your temple, petting your hair. “And I’m so sorry. Really.”

“I know,” you reply back in a quiet voice.

You add on, as sleep has made you embarrassingly and so emotionally raw, “All I really want is you, Hayato… ”

The couple on the television kiss and orchestral Christmas music swells: the credits roll to the sound of a remixed, pop version of holiday classics. It’s really a pain to witness. Hayato can tell you’re trying your hardest not to drift away when you ask a question that freezes him up.

“Are you really okay?” you ask, pressing your ear to his chest, mumbling, “Your heart’s beating so fast…”

Gokudera coughs a little, then belatedly hopes that you can’t smell the ash on his breath. He knows you noticed he’s smoked, and smoked a lot, but you haven’t said anything about it. He’s grateful you’ve given him that small mercy.

“Yeah, just, uh,” he sighs, running his hands through your hair, “We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Another Hallmark movie begins and the snow outside drifts to the ground, calm and steady. You’ll wake up to a beautiful, snowy Christmas morning, then go to the Vongola-Varia Holiday Hullabaloo (damn you for making him think it…), and be surrounded by friends and family. A truly memorable night indeed.

Your body leans heavily on Hayato and when he’s sure that he’s sure you’re asleep, he carefully reaches behind him, fumbles with his coat, and nearly drops the ring box on your head when he takes it out.

You’re damn right I’m not okay, I’m scared as fuck, he thinks, opening the box and running the flat of his thumb over the smooth parts of the silver ring. He didn’t want to get you anything too gaudy, but it’s still rather dramatic and pretty (just like me, he thinks in a detached humor). He knows you’ll like it. He hopes you’ll love it.

Pressing another kiss to your head, Gokudera takes a deep, steadying breath. Of course you’ll love it, he reminds himself– if Tsuna can see it, it has to be true. He knows, deep down, that you’ve been waiting for this for a long time. You’ve been ready for a long time. He’s finally ready, too. He thinks of a plan, as responsible as he is, but he knows it’ll all go to shit the moment he opens his mouth.

In the morning, you’ll wake up to soft winter light, and Hayato on one knee in front of you in pajamas; you’ll laugh at first, disoriented and sure you’re in a dream. Then he’ll make a little speech, fingers itching for a cigarette and instead occupying one hand on your thigh and one in his pocket, running over the edges of that little box over and over.

You’ll start to get teary, some stupid holiday movie that you love to hate will play in the background, and the lights from the tree will make Hayato look so beautiful, so devastatingly handsome with his heart bared wide open for you like that.

Eventually, you’ll shout yes, and Hayato will cry before you do, and he’s not afraid to admit it. Though Yamamoto will tease him about it, Ryohei will cry too and tell him he’s the most manly guy on the face of the earth. The whole Hullabaloo will be full of congratulations and love, friends and family– and presents.

And Lambo, that son of a bitch, will say, after all that fuss over the ring and marriage, “Wait, the ring is great, but where's the present you got them?"

And Gokudera will knock his lights out– or try his best to.

And you’ll forgive him and kiss him under the mistletoe to calm him down because really, all you want is him.

And the best present he ever could have gotten is you.

Gokudera takes another deep breath, and squeezes the box one more time in his hands before he hides it away safely in his pocket. He kisses your hair one more time before resting his chin on your crown and closing his eyes. Gokudera Hayato falls asleep with a slow burning determination to be the most loving and supportive husband he could possibly be for you. He smiles as he drifts away, dreaming of weddings and honeymoons.

#gokudera hayato #anime fanfic #reborn fanfic #khr fanfic #khr fanfiction #reborn #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #reborn gokudera #gokudera reborn #gokudera hayato/reader #gokudera hayato x reader #fanfic #fanfiction

[red--dragoon]

Sooo apparently the deadline for the state fair is May 7, not June 7 like my tiny lizard brain had been convinced for the past few months. I guess I won’t be making anything fancy and new for the competition. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That means I have to decide what already existent doll(s) to enter.

So for my own sake I’m writing this up to just sorta help organize my thoughts because I’m the most indecisive person ever. Sorry about the long post, Tumblr mobile decided to be weird and not hide it under “keep reading” D: 

Sooo here are the candidates. I’m obvs limited to dolls I actually have and weren’t commissions: 

Bride Caeda was my first idea for the competition, although she’s somewhat old and not as detailed as my newer dolls tend to be (though those ruffles are pretty lit). Plus, her groom isn’t with her anymore and they kinda look like they could be siblings. I worry that the judges might be purist since I used tulle for the sleeves which isn’t yarn and thus technically not in the “fiber arts” category. 

Nephenee, one of the most detailed dolls I’ve made. She was technically a commission, but the person has yet to pick her up, soooo it’s a possibility. Like with Caeda, I’m worried that the judges might be purist and object to the acrylic paint used to make her hair have that ombre effect. 

One or both of the Tikis. They aren’t the most detailed dolls I’ve ever made, but I think they’re pretty well put together. And they’re more obviously part of a set (although I can see people who don’t know Fire Emblem thinking they’re mother/daughter lol). 

Maria and/or Michalis, who I just made. I’d have to retouch Michalis a tiny bit because his cloak is kind of a disaster behind the scenes. If I entered them both, would it be super obvious they’re a pair of siblings to people not in the know? It’d feel weird entering two dolls that aren’t super obviously part of a set (and I’m sad there’s no Minerva). As a weird side note, when I showed my roommate these two she thought they were a couple lol 

Gotta love how they’re all from Fire Emblem heh. Most non-FE dolls I make are by commission, sooo there isn’t much variety. I have a problem please send help. 

I’m leaning toward either Neph or the Tikis, but Michalis could have Hauteclere and that would be pretty badass idk. Life is hard. 

One thing is for certain, I’ll be pestering people about this for the next few days :P 

#crochet

[axiolotl]

this week has been really, really weird. like a whole ass roller coaster, with a lot of great, awesome things and one pretty bad thing, but...i’m still ok. literally no one has any obligation to read this it’s just me reflecting on a wild week so that i don’t lose track and can go through my feelings

(read more for Lots of personal)

so this past week: 

Thursday: got to my hotel in Boston to go to PAX East for the weekend with some of my best friends, and had a really nice, relaxing time in a lil mini-vacation, in anticipation of a new job starting in a week (today, technically)

Friday: we all got dressed up in really nice cosplays from the game monster prom, and went to really cool panels, people took our pictures, and just...it was so nice to wake up and hang out with friends, peacefully getting make up all in excitement for a con. we met the monster prom creators and became friends with one of them, and she invited us to her new play opening up in NYC for thursday (i couldn’t go bc my new job was 1-9pm, but still super nice). and we learned a lot at panels,  and got a ton of inspiration for game ideas and future cosplays. we saw so many cool indie games and most importantly i got to hang out with just. good friends 

Saturday: we spent the day relaxing at the hotel, went to the gym, and then i got to meet my good internet friend for the first time and play d&d (dungeons & doggies) while drunk and it was warm and nice and cozy and fantastic

Sunday: i was originally not going to go to PAX East on this day but i bought a ticket anyway bc i just got a new job, we go back in normal clothes, see a bunch of new indie games and go to educational panels, and again, hang out with good friends. we got inspiration for the games we wanna make this summer!!!! we all drive back to my friend’s place for the night & sleepover

Monday: we woke up at my friend’s place, which is always just...such a treat? it’s always so nice and dreamy and beautiful to wake up on the couch with my friend sleeping on the air mattress next to me, while my two other friends quietly make breakfast and coffee and play games on mute in the same room. Ideal. i drove back home and spent the rest of the day recovering to make sure i don’t get con plague, went into my parent’s hot tub, hung out with friends online (and fell asleep while on call l o l )

Tuesday: another slower day, but i set goals to email a professor about a class i’m currently failing to ask if there was any way to extend my deadlines. i was still really tired and feeling sick from PAX so im proud that i was able to send that email and still unpack my bag and clean up my house, knowing i’d want a cleaner place in the coming week bc low energy and new job (and had a fun time hanging out with friends online by the end of the day)

Wednesday: i spent the morning organizing all the business cards, pamphlets, and handouts from PAX to make sure that i wishlisted all the games i wanted and recorded all the notes from the panels i wanted. i sat down and found all the documents for my taxes and filed my taxes by myself for the first time, which is awesome. (i did all of that without my ADHD meds, btw)

i also had class & d&d that night, and just as i was about to fill out my W2 for the new job i was gonna start today before i go to class, my mom called to let me know that my grandma passed away. 

it...it’s kind of been a long time coming. idk how many people followed me almost a decade ago when my grandpa (my grandma who just died’s husband) but it was a similar situation. she’s had dementia for the past two years, and has been on the decline for a while. i don’t know whether she recognized me this past year, or really understood what anyone was saying (she couldn’t really speak, either), but...it’s still really hard. it’s relieving, almost, to know that she doesn’t need to suffer in confusion anymore, but it’s difficult being in the “after” of such an event, even when, all things considered, i had a pretty awesome week with even more awesome things planned in the future. i called out of class and my new job & they said they’d make my start date next week instead, and played d&d that night to keep my spirits up. OH and i got an email saying that i got accepted for a scholarship to cover all my tuition for next semester, and my professor said he’d extend deadlines for my failing class lol. 

Thursday (today!): I woke up feeling...mostly okay, actually. it’s really hard to determine my feelings, because i went through a bunch yesterday after talking to family & friends, and did a lot of reflection and comparison between how i feel now versus how i felt back when i first experienced death in my family. when my grandpa died, i felt that same relief, and at first, i didn’t really feel anything. i was in the beginning stages of a depressive episode and his death triggered a years long major depressive episode. but the difference now is that i’m stronger emotionally, i have an amazing support system of friends, i’m happy and have been happy consistently for a year, and i know when to be gentle with myself; i probably technically could have gone to my first day of work today, but i think for myself emotionally, it’s better that i didn’t. it’s better that i took the time today to clean the house, find pictures of my grandma, and write a eulogy for sunday and monday. it’s better that i wasn’t worrying about my first day outfit and remembering names and meeting people while also having that emotional stress on me, instead of ignoring that emotional stress. 

i’ve matured emotionally since then. i won’t just push down what i’m feeling; i can acknowledge my mourning, i can remember my grandma, i can be sad about losing her, and still continue my life and see my future in excitement. it’s going to hurt to feel those things, it’s going to hurt to talk to my family, it’s going to hurt to see my family sad, and it’s going to hurt to go to the funeral and the wake. it’s going to hurt to do those things, but i can still find good things. i can smile at the pictures i go through, and i can plan to hang out with friends so that i can be reminded of how good life is, and i can bring the joy and love and warmth that i learned in the past decade and continue to carry it through with me. 

later today i’m going over to my grandma’s house to help my cousin look for old pictures for a memorial, and then tonight i’m going to go to that musical in the city, and then sleepover at my friend’s house

Future: Friday! i’ll wake up at my friend’s house, my friend will drive us home, and then i’ll drive my cousin home from school and then go hang out at a friend’s birthday party and see my best friends 

Saturday i’ll probably be hosting family and/or prepping for the wake and funeral on Sunday and Monday. then Tuesday i have therapy (coincidentally convenient), and d&d again (nice). Wednesday i have class again and then Thursday i’ll *actually* start my job

it’s just been like. WILD. this week has gone from straight up convention, good school news, potential new job, a family death, a musical and a birthday party. this is like a stupid impossible week, how did i get such a huge amount of fun events and good news and then bad news in one week. but the good things is, is that i know i’ll be okay. i know i have fantastic friends, and i know how to take care of myself, and i think i know how to mourn now without completely being devastated. i think that i can be gentle with myself and cushion the bad with the good, to know that life is weird, and i’ll be okay no matter what. i would, really, though, like to just spend the rest of this week with friends even more than i already am. i’d like to hide away for a bit, i’d like to process my feelings, i’d like to commiserate on my own and quietly, and i’d like to just...have someone hold me for a bit. but i’ll be okay, and it’s okay that i won’t be okay for a bit. but unlike last time, i know how to allow myself to be not okay and then recover from that. i know how to come out of this, and i know how to find the happiness. and im eternally grateful to my friends who have been so supportive, even if it’s just by them being their funny and fantastic selves 

#alyssa.txt #family member death/// #this was long #sorry

[someobscurereference]

Do you have anymore AU's you want to write? Is there any au you think you'd like to read but don't want to write yourself?

Oh heck yeah!! For both! I don’t think I’ve ever written a single canon-verse fic in my life? Like… maybe one, but I can’t even think of it right now if I have done it. (Granted, I’m counting both entirely new universes and canon-divergence fic as AUs, so maybe you’re using a different scale). But I most definitely have AUs I want to write still, even if they aren’t huge works and are still only like… barely 1K of severe sickfic or Trio’s Past Gets Revealed Early or something. Even if I don’t have an immediate fic planned and ready to write, I usually have something on the back burner in my mind, even if it’s something I’m unsure I’ll ever fully write. (I haven’t talked about the Modern Trio AU in quite a while now, but it legit haunts me daily and makes me laugh still.) Those ideas keep me going until a more immediate AU inspires me. So yes, always AUs! Forever!

(Unless you were hoping I’d name something specifically, in which case I just posted my most recent fic and besides one ongoing collab, I now don’t have a super concrete idea for my next fic, whoops. I’ve been haunted a bit by more Xanlow and Xander x Odin again for some reason, but it will probably pass and I’ll have to figure out something else unless I get a sudden prompt idea, since I’m a bit short on those all around atm. But we shall see.)

“Is there any au you think you’d like to read but don’t want to write yourself?” Every single one, lmao. Every fic I write is a very specific scenario I would like to see but because it only exists in my head and not already out there in the world somewhere, I’m the one who has to write it, haha. Don’t take that to mean writing isn’t fun though! It is and I love it a lot! But it’s always different when you read someone else’s fic and you get to be surprised, you know?

That said, because I was so general with that last answer, here are some specific ideas I’d want to read someone else write in no particular order and only because they spring to mind right now as I think on them: 

a Xander x Odin fic that reads legit because I’m still a sucker for rarepairs

a fic dealing with the Royals/Retainers and non-primary parent (or even non-parent but close aunt/uncle) bonding, 

a fic where Odin tells Ophelia (and others overhear) about Ylisse and his past through fairytales

(OT3) Fic dealing with Ophelia having the Brand and Nina/Forrest Do Not, as meaningfully or as inconsequential as the author deems (I can see it both ways)

another FE horror au tailored to my tastes (but nobody dies because I could never allow that, lmao)

more reincarnation AUs where the Trio doesn’t remember their past lives, but others do 

The Modern AU

The Modern AU B-Side that focuses on the parents instead of the Trio in another world where the Trio are treated like a legit missing person’s case and its suspenseful/a forever unsolved mystery (I have like 3 different scenarios for how this goes down already, lmao) until the Magic Reveal (maybe reveal in another fic, even though I technically already wrote that?)

Inuyasha-style FE Fic where instead of using the dried up well as a portal (or maybe still using it, I’m not picky) the Trio use bodies of water (pools, lakes, rivers, etc) and dive deep in order to get to Nohr/Valla/back home (bc water theme)

Every Fic Where The Trio MUST Reveal Their Identities/Get Reveal Not Of Their Own Volition, In Every Scenario Ever

AU where the Trio really do go with Corrin when Corrin first bails, even though it hurts real bad, and the aftermath of that decision (or even where the Trio are split because of it, whether willingly or not)

More fics that explore the connection human Anankos made with the Trio, whether that be magically or if it has dragon!Anankos acting weird/possessive/whatever

Fic that explores the full extent of having their appearances + new powers given

This means weird feelings about their different appearances now

Also means I want to know exactly what Anankos did. In-game power boost, yeah, but are the Trio like super soldiers now? What does that mean? Are they weirdly inhuman sometimes? I wanna see both the humorous version and the super serious version of this

While we’re on the subject, someone continue my Immortal Trio AU for me and get me that Nina Sees Odin Not Die When He Should Have And Has to Deal With That (i.e. The One Where Nina Trusts Herself More Than Anything Else In The World And She Should)

Or like… any of the kids seeing it happen, basically. 

A zombie AU like that zombie AU I wrote but Better

AU of that AU where everyone is slightly older and Niles (plus Leo? Depends on the circumstances but they’re both present in the plot, if not location) trek into zombie-infested Ylisse to find their online BF, Owain

Kinda Cinderella AU where the Trio show up sometimes and then just bail and seem to come and go of their own deadlines and are So Mysterious

That xxxHolic au I always say I’m gonna write

This list has gotten so long, whoops

Haha, anon, you got me to go on a bit of a list of just different plots I’ve been thinking about as of late. Again, this are in no order or some not even with a particular supreme need. They’re just ideas I’ve been thinking about lately so it would be convenient if they were in front of me at this very moment rather than me having to work for them, lol. I made this list, but the next fic you see from me probably won’t be any of these, haha. Maybe some day? Either way, thanks so much for your question! It had me thinking a lot again. I hope you don’t mind the length!

#my text #asks #fe14 #my fic #long post