#but I’m happy that some of you haven’t given up on our friendship
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No Vacancy - Day Two
Characters: Sam Winchester x fem!Reader, Dean, Castiel
Content: Majorly plot building. Romantic/sexual tension.
Summary: In day two of your one-on-one case with Sam, you gather intel together. Once things settle down for the second night, Dean reveals some news. Sam realizes he’s made a huge mistake involving a lust spell.
*A/N: This chapter was getting a bit long, and I haven’t posted in a couple days, so this chapter is out early! Honestly I like the pacing of this a bit better so I don’t burn out. Y’all better be ready for the next chapter 👀
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“Mrs. O’Connor, would you say that your daughter had any enemies? Anyone who would want to cause her harm?” Sam’s tone was filled with compassion as the woman explained the situation.
Her lips wobbled, “I-I don’t know. Casey was a sweet girl, she just got caught up in the wrong crowd, that’s all.”
“Did you see any changes in her behavior in these past few weeks?” You piped up, matching the softness of Sam’s voice.
Casey’s mother shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. You reached into the inner pocket of your suit jacket, handing her a pack of tissues. She gives you thanks and takes a moment before she speaks again.
“Not much. She was quieter, sure, but I thought, y’know, maybe she was depressed - she spent almost all of her time in her room. We were so close, and she just… distanced herself.”
“How so?” Sam asked.
Through tears, her voice broke, “Her whole demeanor changed, got… darker. She wouldn’t let me into her room anymore. That was where we had our movie nights…”
You nodded as you listened, glancing to Sam for a sign of a breakthrough, but his expression was muddled. A few moments later you were handing your personal number to Casey’s mother, and wishing her a good day.
Sam asked, “So, what do you think?”
“I think we should check her room, but we need to give her mom some time,” you replied, mulling over what could have caused Casey’s murder.
Your phone buzzed against your hand in your pocket. To your relief you saw a text from Casey’s mother: Thank you for your help. I’m glad Casey has people who care like you do.
You showed Sam the message. His eyebrows furrowed in thought.
“What do I say back?”
“Well, we need to mention looking at Casey’s room,” Sam detailed, “and that we’re happy to help further.”
Your fingers fiddled with your phone as you issued a reply.
Of course. I’m sure the police have done so already, but we were given instruction to inspect Casey’s room. Would you mind letting us look around later today?
The reply was swift: Yes, that's fine. I'll be home later this evening, 7 p.m. would be the best time.
Stuffing your phone back into your pocket, you updated Sam.
"She says we can come back at 7 tonight. Until then, we should probably look over the police report and see who might know what happened to her."
Sam nodded, "We'll head back to the motel and look into it."
The motel. The goddamn motel where you and Sam blurred the lines of your friendship. With any luck, he wouldn't mention anything of last night, or this morning.
It was the way it felt so normal to wake up with him, to be enveloped in his arms, his scent, his soft breathing before he woke. It was a one-time thing that wouldn't, and couldn't, happen again. It was a vow - a guarantee to yourself that you wouldn't slip up like before. You reminded yourself on loop until you reached the motel again.
—
Twenty minutes later, and you were still staring at your computer screen. The thoughts couldn't flow like they normally did with your research. Vague searches covered the screen, but nothing constructive.
'Casey O'Connor family'
'Casey O'Connor facebook'
'Casey O'Connor instagram'
'Casey O'Connor death’
The tension you held in the pit of your stomach turned over itself when Sam cleared his throat.
"Find anything yet?"
Your breath hitched in your throat. Maybe Sam hadn't given things much thought after all. His tone was his usual curious self, but those bright hazel eyes swallowed you whole.
"Uh- no, not yet," you stammered, "I was, um, gonna take a pause and go to the lobby. About the... room situation."
Sam's lips thinned into a terse smile. For him, he didn't care one bit if there was another room available. He watched you leave the room, cursing himself all the while you were gone. You returned with a nervous smile, sparking a hidden hope in Sam's chest.
"Still no other rooms. And no cots, either."
It was Sam's turn to remind himself that last night crossed a boundary. All he'd thought about today was you, regardless of how hard he tried to reroute his thoughts. The way you'd buried your head into his chest, how you murmured in your sleep, how delicate your body felt in his hands...
He snapped himself out of it again, muttering to himself.
"What'd you say?" You raised an eyebrow at him.
He shook his head, "Nothing, I'm just mumbling to myself."
You let out a soft laugh, taking a seat on the bed. The ache in your shoulders reminded you of the consequences of sitting hunched over on the floor.
"The least they could've done was give us a desk or something."
"That's what you get in a small town, remember?" Sam quipped, that goofy grin back in action. You rolled your eyes at him and settled into your side of the bed, laptop open across your lap again.
Sam leaned over to you, staring at your screen. Well, you weren't lying when you said things on your end weren't interesting. You turned your head, watching him scour the Google search you haphazardly thought up.
"I... didn't really know what to look up," you admitted flatly.
He let out a breathy laugh, glancing sidelong at you. Those damn eyes. Part of you dared to close the inches between you, to brush your lips against his as if it were nothing. One wrong move, and you could risk everything you'd made with him. You surveyed his parted lips, suddenly pulled back up to his gaze when he cleared his throat. You shook yourself out of your trance and gave him a muttered apology before he took your laptop.
Within seconds he found something substantial - report cards from school, Facebook posts, tagged photos on Instagram.
"How'd you do that?" You asked.
Sam pushed himself beside you to give you a better angle at the screen, "First thing you gotta do is have the full name. Otherwise, you're flooding your search with 'Casey O'Connor's' from all over the country."
His arm brushed against yours, but he didn't pull away. Instead he rested fully against you as his fingers flew over the keys, opening page after page of information. You chose to let go and ease into him, head dropped to his shoulder as you watched. Sam's fingers stalled more than usual with you now relaxed against him. It was his turn for his thoughts to escape him.
"So, um," you piped up, "what are we looking for?"
He cleared his throat, "Changes in behavior, maybe in stuff that she posted, grades dropping, anything that seems like a red flag."
Casey's most recent posts to Instagram caught your eye. After explaining your gut feeling to Sam, the both of you kept mental note that perhaps Casey did get involved with something sinister.
—
The two of you had gotten lunch, lazed about town, and stoped by Casey’s school by the time 7 pm rolled around. At the O’Connor house, you kept downstairs to talk with the family, while Sam searched Casey’s bedroom. It took about 30 minutes, and you two were on your way.
“What’d you find?”
Sam handed you his phone, the photos organized into a neat folder. You inspected each image, taking stock in each sign - herbs scattered around, countless candles, and bottles of dark liquid.
“Is that..?”
“Blood, yeah. Almost didn’t see them; one rolled out of the closet. And if you see here,” he trailed on, scrolling to another photo, “seems like a pretty intricate altar in there.”
“Figures why she wouldn’t want her mom in the room,” you added.
You handed the phone back to Sam, fighting back a shiver when his hand grazed yours.
Perhaps he noticed, too, judging by the way his cheeks blushed. In the evening sun, it was barely noticeable but you were almost certain of it. You packed yourselves into the car and drove back to the motel. You rummaged through your duffel bag the moment you stepped in the door, picking out a new outfit for bed. Sam kicked off his dress shoes and shrugged off his suit jacket.
“Bedtime already, huh?” Sam teased. You turned to him and smiled.
“Just wanna get cozy. Makes doing research much easier.”
Sam shrugged, “Not a bad idea, I’ll probably do the same when you’re done. Need to get out of this damn suit.”
—
The time on your computer screen read 11:43 p.m., meaning you and Sam had been continuing your research for at least two hours. It had taken a toll of you both, with eyes dry and shoulders aching. You rested your tired eyes and felt the pull of exhaustion start to take over.
Until Sam’s phone rang - it was Dean. Sam immediately placed his brother on speakerphone.
“How’s the lovely couple?” Dean asked. He wasn’t in the room, but you could tell he was smiling - a shit eating grin that irritated you as much as his brother.
“Very funny, Dean,” Sam replied smoothly, a twitch in his eyebrow showed his annoyance. “How are things going on your end?”
Castiel muttered in the background of the phone call. Dean stuttered over his words as he told Cas to stop interfering.
“Okay, so we did a little searching on Casey. I mean, well, Cas did most of it. Turns out, our lovely Miss O’Connor had gotten involved with magic.”
Sam’s eyes snapped to yours, then to his laptop where he had stored photos of Casey’s bedroom. As you two listened to Dean the dots connected to make a full picture.
It was Castiel’s voice that piped up next, “We have reason to believe that Casey was involved with something dark. It doesn’t look like your average witchcraft. We’re talking about more forceful magic - breaking and creating soulmate contracts.”
He continued, “Those kind of bonds, soulmates, are meant to take time. It seems that Casey’s spells were focused on peoples driving emotions. Feelings like fear, insecurity, lust, and mania. Anything that could make people act out, it’s been happening in her social circle.”
“So, basically she’s playing Cupid?” you offered.
“Exactly,” Dean confirmed, interrupting Cas, “we broke some of the spells, but it seems like Casey did all of her little projects at home. Hell, she sent the spells to her friends in the mail. Who knew you could Amazon Prime some witchcraft.”
You chuckled at the joke, rolling your eyes. Sam smiled at you with relief that this whole situation had blown over.
“So, what’s next?” you prodded.
“If you two didn’t see any weird hoodoo at Casey’s house, then everything should be all settled.”
Sam furrowed his brows, “But Casey was murdered, how did she die, then?”
Dean replied, “That’s the karma of it. Casey planted a sachet on her boyfriend - love spell gone haywire. He eventually went a little too love-crazy, and ended up killing her. Jealousy was the source of it.” His tone has grown sullen with the final piece of news.
Now with the extra details, you didn’t know how to feel. What happened to Casey had been horrible, and it had worked itself out in the end. It was the part of hunting that never settled well with you. Sometimes, you simply couldn’t save everyone.
“Got it. So we’ll head back out tomorrow to meet you at the bunker, yeah?” Sam confirmed.
Dean’s tone changed to playfulness again, “Actually, I need y’all to check out a case the next town over. Mind camping out a couple more nights?”
It seemed Dean’s request was a final verdict based on the way Sam pursed his lips.
“Yeah, no problem, talk to you later,” Sam ended the call. He threw his phone onto the bed and closed his laptop.
“You alright?” You asked him. Sam let out a soft sigh and looked toward his suit jacket by the door.
“I think I might’ve screwed up.”
You did a double take, “What do you mean? Dean and Cas figured it out.”
He raced over to the jacket, fishing through the pockets until he plucked a small bundle. Your expression dropped completely at the sachet in his palm. Sam returned to your side and let you examine it - a small brown sack you assumed held herbs, oils, and then some. The sigils across the fabric stumped you; they were nothing like you’d ever seen before.
“What is this, Sam?”
“One of her spells,” he said, defeated, “I wanted to examine it, to see if someone planted something on her. That was before we knew that Casey was the witch.”
“Okay, so, what kind of spell is it?” you asked further.
Sam reopened his laptop, silent as he furiously typed away. Image after image splayed onto the screen - the realization came over the two of you at once.
“Lust.”
He coughed at the word, unable to choose his next move. Sam leaned back and let his head thump against the wall.
“Can’t we just…. burn it? Toss it out?”
With bated breath you waited for Sam to say something, anything. Instead he just shook his head.
“By now I’ve had it on me for hours. We’re kind of past the point of burning it.”
“Okay, but the spells only work on feelings that are already there, right? It wouldn’t work unless you’re with someone you wanted to, um… you know.”
Sam’s breathing quickened with each passing second. His words came out with an overwhelming shakiness.
“It’s a little late for that.”
Hi again! Thanks so much for supporting my work, the next chapter will be out in the next couple of days!
- Bunny
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So… we’ve come this far, huh?
Today is officially the one year anniversary of my time on Tumblr, and the one year anniversary of my friendship with the lovely person who is @/dinosaurzzz (the slug cat on the right is its sona!).
It is honestly incomprehensible to me that it has been a full year since I got on this site and honestly it has completely changed my life. I have grown more as a person in this year than I believe I ever have in my whole prior life combined. I have found a community where I am loved, where I am safe, and where I am given the space to learn and grow from my mistakes, and that is completely fucking invaluable to me. And I will forever thank Dino for being the final thing to push me to finally get on this site that I already figured would be perfect for me. It has been such a wild ride, and even if Tumblr has muffled the reach of my posts at the moment, I am going to scream this one from the rooftops, and try to show appreciation for everyone who has helped me along this journey.
First of all shout out to my incredible partner @wishtale-blogs, she is the love and light of my life and she truly understands me and has my back. I never, ever thought that I would meet someone who both gets me completely and contrasts me perfectly and having her in my life is something I would never trade absolutely anything for. When you’re young it seems like destiny for partnerships to fall apart simply by nature of it being so early in life, but I genuinely feel as if this is unshakable, and I’m just.. so happy to have her.
And with that I’d next like to shout out our adoptive sons, @karineverse and @the-selfmade-gods. Both of you are absolute angels, lights of my life and people that I would protect with my life. Thank you so much for being here for me and being here for all of your friends and staying strong through all you’ve been through. I’m proud of you, truly I am so proud of you and I love you as if you were my own flesh and blood.
Now, I am going to list out every single person I can think of whom I consider a friend. There will not be elaboration here as this post will be long enough as-is, but just know that I could write a blurb for each of you for why I adore you so much, some of you a whole essay. If your name is not here and you consider us friends, do not hesitate to message or ask me about it, I never want to leave people out and I know how anxiety-inducing it can be to not wind up on one of these lists with someone you care about. That being said, here are the names of all of my amazing friends, in no particular order:
@twinklesporkle, @justanidiotartist, @nyxus-nyx, @jupiter-nwn, @rib-rabbitmask, @still-got-no-idea, @liliallowed, @ashburntcat, @ponnedapple, @person-of-many-names, @itzcherrybonbon, @spamsbylee, @nevil-gonslek, @duckielikeserror, @psycho-chair, @letsatomicbanana, @starmonsterrr, @midnightstarshadow, @colorfulpaintspills, @kenopsia-ksp, @autisticseapanda, @hiro-doodlez, @cherrio-krispz, @emerald-onion, @the-save-star-anomaly, @everydaygremlin, @dreamsb0u, @skylerfurmaniac, @meimeikyu, @silly-inksans-stuff, @sketchingstars03, @shenanogram, @sargentvenipede
And with these friends, I’d also like to take a moment to thank followers of mine who I’ve never known super personally but still value immensely. I don’t truly know you guys, but you seem amazing, thank you so much for being here.
@hex0code, @cherrifruiti, @gloomywoomymoon, @atherflame-theconcubus, @neonordream, @finleyforevermore, @epicnightm, @youracecard, @pearbranch14823, @palisadewasp @wolvesbaneandbuttercups, @crunchontoast, @bloomyspring
Thank all of you so, so much. There would probably be more names but there is a mention limit of 50, so I had to cut some down. Either way, thank you all a million, you all mean so much to me and I think this day is truly going to be the start of a new beginning.
And to all the people who would have been here, the friends who should have been here but aren’t…
if it’s simply because we haven’t talked in a while, I hope you’re alright and I miss you.
but if it’s because you’ve harmed me, I still hope you’re alright and growing as a person. I’m sorry we didn’t work out and I promise I miss the you that I knew. I wish that things had happened differently, and even though you’re likely not seeing this I hope today can be the start of new beginnings for you too. Thanks for the impacts that you’ve left on me, even if those are scars. You guys have also helped make me into who I am, and without hardship it would be hard for me to learn.
Here’s to a new day, and any more lovely years to come.
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Today Millie had a fan panel in which she answered that her ideal ending would be Mike and El getting married and Will being happy and confessing to Mike (lol) and ofc the Stranger Things fandom kicked up the old Byler vs Mlvn war once again, regardless of the fact she doesn’t write the show. But I want to break down some points here about things I’ve been noticing today, but also for a while and that I think need to be discussed. Keep reading if you want.
I’ve seen a lot of hostility towards Byler and Bylers on Twitter lately, saying we’re delusional and don’t know what we’re talking about. This always seems to be the go to argument even tho it’s all in the narrative. Today it got really bad after Millie’s comments and even people that were merely disagreeing with her opinions got called everything from delusional to misogynistic.
IF the Duffers suddenly decided to ignore everything they’ve carefully crafted and put into their narrative that doesn’t make anyone delusional, it just makes them terrible writers. Who would be doing a great disservice to all three characters involved in the love triangle.
There’s been an insurgence (on Twitter) of so called “Will stans” who seem to be completely fine with the idea of mlvn being endgame because “Will can just get another boyfriend” Not only is this insulting to what the writers have already established for Will’s character but it’s also a defense and endorsement of the worst kind of lazy/bad writing that could graze our screens.
The Duffers CHOSE to tie Will’s character arc to Mike’s and El’s.
How do you expect them to undo that and create a well fleshed out character that’s deserving of Will, in 8 episodes that we know are not just gonna be dedicated to Will’s supposed love interest, because there’s a shit ton of stuff to resolve?
If this was the route the Duffers were going for, they could’ve clearly given Will a love interest last season (like with Robin) or two seasons ago (like with Dustin) And yet somehow, people think it would be totally okay for Will to get the most meaningless romance of all time as the writers ignore the same story they’ve created.
Another point I’ve been seeing a lot from these people is “Mike won’t come out. Let it go. He’s just a very unlikable character” What does that say about the quality of the writing and content you’re willing to consume then? You’re okay with characters being poorly written? And please someone explain to me how Mike’s actions, especially in S4, make any sense unless he likes Will.
The more people try to simplify this story the more plot holes and inconsistencies it creates.
The funny thing is that a lot of these “Will stans” used to be Bylers themselves but are so deathly afraid it won’t be endgame that they’ve started to use the same rhetoric mlvns use every day to justify what would be atrocious writing.
And this next thing might be controversial but I think it needs to be said.
So many people on Twitter have hit those who disagree with Millie’s opinion today with “y’all are misinterpreting Millie’s words” and let me tell you, no one has. She’s been saying the same stuff for forever and quite frankly she’s never had a coherent thought about Will. Which is fine, at the end of the day that’s not the character she plays. However, I haven’t forgotten how last year (at another panel) she was asked about Byler and said it was just a reflection of Finn and Noah’s friendship and that was what people were seeing…
Whatever the fuck that means, I guess.
Again, I’m not taking her answer today too seriously cause truth be told she’s been saying some version of this since she was around twelve, and has even at times said she was joking about it. If a wedding were actually happening she wouldn’t be able to say it cause I’d literally be a spoiler, even if she doesn’t have the scripts yet or doesn’t know I’m sure there’s things that would be off limits for any actor to say at this point.
But this defense squad that formed today begging for us to not misconstrue her words because “she really cares about Will’s character” is laughable.
Her answers regarding the topic of the love triangle have been anything but nuanced. If she doesn’t want to get into it or address it, that’s fine. It’s her choice.
But of course, mlvn stans are gonna take her answers seriously, as well as those who are now “Will stans” who basically ship mlvn too.
And to me there’s a fundamental flaw regarding the ship wars in this fandom, which these people don’t seem to grasp. At this point, it isn’t so much about “which ship is better” but “which outcome isn’t violently homophobic”
That’s it.
I don’t care how much you ship mlvn, this is the undisputed truth here.
But when your lead actors act like it’s not a big deal, it’s no surprise the fandom doesn’t give a shit.
I can only hope the Duffers were smart enough to see reason and were able to write the only outcome that won’t set television back around 10 years or so.
And hopefully one day, when S5 is out, we can get a more in depth and honest conversation with the actors about all of this.
As for me, I’m gonna lay low and not give much of a fuck until we start getting those Reddit leaks, which were very much accurate for last season. I’ll take a peak at those, and depending on what they look like, I’ll stay around or dip completely.
If you read all of this, thank you.
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Some end of year mush for my readers
Below is a longer message that’s more personal so I’ll hide that below the cut for anyone who’s not interested. But before I get to that I just wanted to send a message to all of those who have read my fics this past year. You’re often a bit more anonymous to me than the people I count as friends, but that’s only because I don’t know you yet (seriously, come yell in my inbox, that’s how all friendships here start!).
But I see you all, whether you’re liking your way through 300k+ words of The Pilot and his Girl or just randomly reblogging something short I wrote back in March, I see and appreciate you all. I love hearing what you think about what you’ve read, but if you’re more comfortable just reblogging or liking, that’s more than fine. But I do really notice and appreciate all of you who read and react what I publish. I hope my stories bring a little bit of entertainment and distraction from whatever else your life is. The responses you’ve all given me, it really means the world. Love you all ❤
/M
So to the more personal message.
I want to send a little message out (who am I kidding, I’m unable to keep things short) at the end of the year and tell you all what a difference some things make. But first, to be honest, I haven’t had a very difficult year, I’m ridiculously privileged, and I try to remember and appreciate that. I count my blessings because life hasn’t always been this easy. But I think it makes me notice the difference small actions make, how one act of kindness really creates ripple effects.
I know others have had very real struggles in 2023 and have overcome, or are still struggling with, real issues and this year has given me the opportunity to see how much of a difference a small online community can make. I appreciate and love everyone of you who has had the guts to open up when things are tough and ask for help, who opened their (digital) arms and inboxes and wanted to help, genuinely help, those who were struggling, by sending a friendly message, by understanding and responding, offering to help, to let them know that they’re not alone. And to let us all have a safe space online where we can be as weird and sad and irrational and deluded (and horny) as we want.
I know all fandoms have drama but the amount of nice people I’ve met on Tumblr this year by far outweighs any drama. For 99.9% of us, Pedro should be so lucky to have us as his fans! I feel like the goodness that he seems to spread, is emulated among those who go slightly feral (in the best possible way) for him.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have made a small group of friends this year in the fandom, and these past few months with you guys (you know who you are), have been the best. You’ve made me laugh and cry (and stress out over how the hell I’m supposed to read all of your amazing fics!). I’m constantly amazed by how supportive and kind you are, how, by pure chance, we all stumbled into each other's paths at just the right time and how we now just seem to fit together. Whether it’s about how we’re going to survive the release of Gladiator 2 (seriously, we’re going to need a phone chain or something for welfare checks….) or how to handle any number of just “life” things that we all have to combat. You lot are always there with sage advice, supportive words and encouragement in a way I’ve never experienced with a group of friends before. Seriously, you’re all the best and I’m so happy to be your friend.
And here's my our sweet Pedro just because this man somehow inspired me to write so many words this year...
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Is it worth it to keep fighting?
Multiple people have already talked about the themes unpacked in this episode (@chickenstrangers 1 @waitmyturtles 2, @stuffnonsenseandotherthings 3 @ginnymoonbeam 4 @klausbens 5 to name a few, also @dribs-and-drabbles because your post about self is definitely still knocking around in my brain + @lurkingshan cause I know you like to read the meta) and I haven’t even finished finding all the meta, I haven't even finished scrolling through my feed, but I wanted to get my own bouncing thoughts written down, so I figured I’d share them with you all.
Now that we’ve had such a fabulous episode 8, I feel like the first 7 episodes have almost been asking us a question:
Is it worth it to keep fighting?
Kawi asks Max outright about it in this episode so I’m hardly making great leaps of inference here but still:
In episode 1 we have a Kawi who has entirely given up fighting, He gave up 12 years ago and his future is bleak, empty and lonely.
The time jumps we experience in the next few episodes show that Kawi can change some things, as he attempts to set himself on the path he THINKS will bring happiness things change, and yet the future doesn’t turn out right.
Not in the OG Future,
Not in Future 2,
Not in Future 3, where Kawi almost gives up
He gets told to keep going, but he also gets told to care more about making things right IN THE PRESENT, rather than making them perfect in the future.
And so he tries again,
And this time he stays longer and the impact on his future is immensely more than his previous trips.
But it’s still not right, and he’s still mostly alone.
(but he isn't truly alone, Max is still there, Piseang is still there)
So, he goes back again, and hears for SURE the news that his Father has passed, because sometimes change isn’t fast enough for everyone we love or everyone who needs it, sometimes change comes too late.
but this doesn’t cause him to give up, instead he changes his tactics.
This time, THIS TIME, he reaches out, he tells Piseang about his time travel, he aims to tell Pear about his changed feelings, he sits down and has a conversation with Max, and hears from Max himself about the impact Kawi reaching out the hand of friendship meant to Max.
He goes to the pride event to listen, and he recieves affirmation from his friend and certainty from Max's words
He sees himself, and his friends, and his community,
Community that is all around him, and that, even in his selfishness and bumbling ways, he has changed things for the better.
Even small changes have an impact, even one person can alter the future, but it is better and more effective if we reach out to each other. If we stand united even as things in our lives crumble down.
We all need to keep fighting because if we do the Future, even if it’s not how we imagine it, WILL BE BETTER.
(and sometimes things might feel like they're getting worse before they start to get better)
Yet,
Piseang is CHOOSING TO STAY AND FIGHT
Max is CHOOSING TO STAY AND FIGHT
Kawi is CHOOSING TO STAY AND FIGHT
Fight for your future.
Fight for OUR future
That’s what this episode told me.
(also something something parrellel between Piseangs patience and how long we have to wait for the future we want) (it's been a long few days and I was just going to bask in other peoples meta this week and then my brain was all THOUGHTS)
#be my favorite#be my favorite the series#be my favorite meta#be my favorite time travel#there have been so many good posts about the pride event and I'm still finding them!#the tumbleweeds have tumbled into a large mountain while I've been busy#rturts is wondering
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Lucky Charm – Part 1
Charles Leclerc x Doctor! Reader
Part 2
Synopsis: Before all their success in life, Charles and y/n were lovers and split up to focus on their professional careers. Until 10 years later y/n receives one patient in ER from a terrible car crash
Warnings: Language, car crash, nearly death, PTSD, Pierre and y/n bromance
Words count: 4'2k
A/N: I would like to clarify, that English is not my first language, so if there are some misspellings or grammar errors, I'm sorry. But feel like commenting on them so I can rectify my grammar.
Also, I'm just a pharmaceutical student and I don't know the 100% process of a surgeon's processes. As well as I'm not a F1 expert.
2018
Charles and I were celebrating he officially signed for Ferrari the following year in F1. I was so happy for him, it’s been his dream for as long as I remember.
We had known each other since high school when me and Arthur got paired in a school project and your friendship with the Leclerc's began. In 2016, Charles and I got closer and ended up developing feelings for each other and have dated ever since. I went to every race he had from F3 to now being with Alfa Romeo in F1.
I had always been there for him. When Jules died, I was here. After his lovely father died, I was there. I was his mainstay. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have given up everything. But my hope and perseverance knew he shouldn’t do it and kept fighting. And here we are, celebrating his Ferrari sign for the next season.
There was only one problem. We weren’t only celebrating his sign for Ferrari. I just entered Universite Paris Saclay as one of their future medical students.
“You don’t know how proud I'm of you” commented Charles smiling without taking his eyes off you.
“Are you kidding me? You just signed for Ferrari, Ferrari! That’s the biggest accomplish here”
“That’s old news. And in your defence y/n, I must add you got your dream career which is more difficult than getting to Ferrari”
You look on your lap avoiding his gaze, smiling like a 16 year old girl.
“You are blushing” said Charles with a corky smile
“No, I’m not” I said getting up from the table and walking to sit on his couch.
Charles follows you to sit next to you. He grabs your chin to make you look at him and takes your lips together.
Then he puts our foreheads together to rest and I close my eyes.
“I’m proud of you”
“I’m proud of you two”
We stay in each other’s arms in silence to make the moment last.
You both knew what getting to uni and Ferrari meant, we haven’t talked about it, we avoided it just to enjoy our possible last summer together.
But the summer was ending and we still haven’t talked about our future.
I decided to be brave and face our fears once and for all. I could already tell my eyes were getting wet.
"Esque il a quelque chose va mal?" Is there something wrong?
"Mon amour, nous devons parler" My love, we neet to talk
"De quoi?" About what?
"Vous savez ce que" You know what
And then is when everything collapses. I start crying and he comforts me saying everything will be ok, that we will get through it
"No we won't, and maybe you don't see it now but if we stay together in the future, one of us will have to give up our dreams. And I couldn't take it if you dropped out of F1 just to be with me. And as selfish as I sound I couldn't give it up either or fail in the process of becoming who I want to be"
We stay silent looking at each other until he stands up and walks to his shelf full of trophies and pictures of his family, Jules and me. Maybe he still hadn't thought about it like I have, maybe I'm the pessimistic one in our relationship and don't see a future where all this works out. Half of me thinks he understands what I'm saying and getting my point, but my other half wishes he has another alternative where we can stay together and be happy.
"I hate to admit it, but you are right. You are always right" Says Charles as he looks at our pictures.
His words shatter me and it's stupid, I was the one that brought it up, it was my idea and the one that ruined everything. I hoped he would tell me everything will be ok, and we will get through it. I really did, but reality is a bitch and we couldn't do anything if we wanted to be successful in life. And it's better to end things now in good conditions and not later in a big fight.
I stand up and walk behind him to hug him from the back, and I start sobbing more than I have ever had. He tuns just so he holds me as tight as he can.
It's not a goodbye. It's I will see you later, as friends when we will be both happy and laugh about it. And with so, we kiss one last time and he offers to drive me to my parents' house. When I open the door to get out, he says "I love you"
The saddest part is, that he is probably the only man I could ever love. So for one last time, I respond "I will always love you"
2028
It was a goodbye. That day was the end.
Charles and I have not seen each other since the day we broke up. Except I spotted him one afternoon with a beautiful brunette girl 3 years ago, when my boyfriend at the time and I visited my parents at Christmas.
I do not regret the decision I took back in 2018. In fact, that was the best decision I ever took in my life. Because ever since that, things only got better for both of us. I know he is doing well despite we have not talked to each other for years, because I had watched every Sunday Formula 1, to see how things were going.
I have not lived in Monaco for 9 years, I only came home in August and Christmas to visit my parents.
Last year after something traumatic happened, I felt I needed to come back home and with my resume, I easily got into the Centre Hospitalier Princesse Grace as one of their neurosurgeons.
Today is Friday and the Monaco Grand Prix is in two days, so the streets are crowded, and a lot of nice cars are on the roads. But It doesn’t affect me, I always walk to the hospital, since I t's faster.
"Is that y/n y/l/n? Or are you an illusion?" I turn to see whose voice was to find Pierre Gasly in his car, stopped at the traffic light.
"Pierre! How have you been?"
"Get inside the car before the light turns green, I will take you" And despite the last time you saw him being 10 years ago you got in, and it seems that no time has passed.
"Let me guess, you are going to Port Hercule"
"You are so smart" We burst out laughing "Girl I haven't seen you in years, how have you been?" I was about to respond to his question but I got interrupted. "Wait, tell me where I need to drive you to. Maybe I'm going in the wrong direction"
"You are" I said with a giggle "I'm going to the Centre Hospitalier Princesse Grace"
"Why? Did something happen?" Pierre asked while going all the way around the roundabout.
"I work there"
"Oh right, I remember Charles commented you got into medicine" He stops talking and gets a little tense.
"Hey, that was 10 years ago, there is no need to get tense"
"It's just that Charles never told me why you broke up and I thought it ended up badly"
"It was a mutual agreement. The reason was simple, he just got into Ferrari and I had to leave to get my medical degree. No hard feelings"
Pierre's face is pure confusion, maybe asking himself why Charles never told him why we broke up.
We chitchat for a bit until he gets me to the Hospital.
“Hey, on Saturday would you like to go to the Paddock I can get you in”
“Oh, thanks but it’s not needed, I can’t watch Saturday’s Grand Prix either. I have to work at the ER, we are short-staffed this summer and they need me. I hope it goes well!” I smile at him and I start to get off the car.
“Oh, you won’t give me my lucky kiss? It was sort of a tradition, wasn’t it?” It was, when I accompanied Charles to the races I always kissed Charles and gave Pierre a kiss on the cheek for luck. So I gave him a big hug and I kissed him on the cheek.
"I missed you Pierre"
"I missed you too, so much" He said the last word with a sigh as I was getting out of the car.
When I was entering the hospital one friend of mine came running to me.
“Girl, was that Pierre Gasly?”
“Yes, we were… we are friends”
“Can you introduce me?”
“No, today is the first time I’ve seen him in 10 years, it would be awkward.” She put on a disappointed face and I continued “Maybe if we get closer again I will introduce you” I said while rolling my eyes.
“How do you know each other?” At work, I don’t talk about my private life and less about something that happened during my teens.
“I used to be friends with Charles Leclerc family and I went to almost every race and I meet most of the drivers. Pierre was the one I got along with the most”
Her mouth makes a shape of an O and thankfully doesn’t ask more.
Next thing I know I’m putting stitches on a kid who cut his finger.
At 16:30 my turn ends and I walk out of the hospital with my friend next to me searching something on her phone. When she suddenly grabs me by the shoulders and makes me look at her. With her phone up and a picture of 18 year old me and a 20 year old Charles and the next picture it’s us kissing. Two photos that we posted on social media and circulated in some articles about our break up.
“You dated Charles Leclerc, Charles Leclerc! And didn’t tell me! He is the hottest guy ever” I close my eyes and I sigh, today it’s not a good day to remember everything.
“Yes, we dated. It’s no big deal, ok? We went to the same school and our families are friends. I don’t want to talk about it ok?”
“Did it end that badly?”
“It was a mutual agreement, he got to Ferrari and I went to university, that’s it”
Thankfully the conversation ended there and she got to her car and I continued my walk home.
After I arrived home, my phone vibrates and I grab it and see a call from Arthur, we always stayed in touch and now that I'm back in Monaco we often hang out to chat.
"y/n do you want to come to my house? We are hanging out in the swimming pool, there are some friends of mine, my brothers and some of their friends, you know Pierre right? He is also here"
Without knowing I get nervous and insecure about myself. I had thought I had everything in control and I knew I will have to see Charles again at one point. But I'm stressing out and I'm not focused to see him again, less in a room full of people.
"Ehem, that would be really nice but... I work tomorrow morning and also on Sunday so it's better if I stay home, thank you tho" That was the lamest excuse I've ever given.
"Oh, no problem, then on Sunday night there is an afterparty for the Grand Prix. And since you don't work on Mondays you must come"
Shit, I already told Pierre I wouldn't come.
"Yes I know, I found Pierre this morning and he told me, I will try to come"
"Come on y/n, you will come, end of discussion. You can't avoid him forever, besides right now you are both sing..." I immediately cut him off
"Yes, ok, thank you Arthur, I'll make an effort. Bye, have a nice day"
Despite Arthur and I always have been friends, after his brother and I broke up we never talked about it.
I was sure I'd moved on but now that I can see him again I'm scared.
It's Sunday morning and today I work all day in ER, a little exhausting but I like working under a little bit of pressure, it makes me more focused.
The saddest thing is that I won't be able to watch the Grand Prix, it's the first time I've not watched it. But it's just one time and nothing will go wrong is just another race. I will watch it when I get home.
__
Today thankfully was calm, since everyone was watching F1, not many incidents happened.
"Hey y/n, since everything is very calm today you can go home early, we will get through it, now you can go watch the Grand Prix" Announced me another doctor in ER, that knew I had never missed a Grand Prix.
I went to the lockers to change into my regular clothes, grabbed my purse and I got out of the room. Then suddenly the doctor that allowed me to go home ran towards me.
"Y/n! y/n!, You need to get back to work immediately, we just received a call from the ambulance. There has been a car crash and there the patient has a concussion. You are the best in these scenarios, we need you."
Immediately I return and put on my clothes as fast as possible. I think I haven't closed the locker, but that's not my priority right now.
When I get back to the ER the ambulance has not arrived yet. And then it hits me.
I'm driving in my car, there is a big hit, the car spins, there is a bigger hit and everything goes black, seconds later I remember looking at the passenger’s seat and Dorian's face is covered in blood. "Dorian! Dorian! Please answer me" red and blue, blue and red, sirens and the next thing I'm being pulled out of the car.
"Y/n! are you alright? The ambulance just arrived, come on!" I see a nurse helping me get back to reality. I hate car accidents.
But I'm running to get to the stretcher and get the patient to the hospital. When my world collapses again when I see a man in a red suit and a red and white helmet full of pictures. I cannot collapse right now. I must not. I must help Charles
And for the first time, I can control myself and my fear doesn't get me.
I grab the helmet providing a Manual in-line stabilisation (MILS), there is a nurse ready to help grab his chin and also apply pressure on the occipital region, I slowly take off the helmet full of pictures of his dad, his family, Jules and... me. But there is no time for distractions. I need to help him.
"There is a concussion! There is a second-degree burn on the left side of the neck! The patient is still unconscious!" The nurse announces and they immediately cover his burns.
After that, I do a CSF (Examination of the cerebral spinal fluid) and while we wait for the results I go to the MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) machine to check his brain and there I see a pair of blood clots. Shit.
"Immediately we need some Heparin to undo the blood clots" The nurse passes me the needle and I inject it as fast as I can so there will be consequences.
Two hours later, Charles is in a room still sleeping, thankfully there was no complication and all the blood clots are undone. Now I'm walking to the reception where I suppose most of his team and his family are for me to give them the news.
"Charles Lecler's family?" As much as I would like to run to his family hug them and tell them he is alright I must stay professional. In the reception room, I spot Mrs Leclerc, Arthur, Lorenzo, most of the Ferrari team and some drivers, like Pierre, Lando, Max, Carlos, Lewis, ...
"Y/n dear were you the head of his case?" Mrs Leclercs asks me and hugs me with love and fear.
"Mrs Leclerc I must stay professional right now" I whisper to her ear
"Oh right, sorry" She breaks up from the hug and nods as she stays near her sons. Most faces are of fear but Arthur's one is of relief, like he knew Charles has been in good hands.
“Chales is alright, he had a concussion and a couple of blood clots but are now in control thanks to the anticoagulant, the cerebral spinal fluid thank god was not damaged. Also there is a second degree burn but it’s not the priority. Right now he is sleeping in his room, he has not yet awakened”
After that there is a big sight from everyone.
“Can we go see him?” Lorenzo speaks first, looking at me directly.
“The only ones that have authorization to go to his room right now are his family tomorrow, if he is awake and wants visitors, others can come see him”
With that Mrs Leclerc, Lorenzo and Arthur are taken by a nurse to Charles room and most of the F1 team is leaving the hospital, except Pierre and Mattia Binnoto whose last is the first to approach me.
“I must see Charles right now, we need to discuss the championship…” Without second thoughts I immediately cut him off.
“The patient needs to rest and recover fully before even thinking of racing again”
“I don’t care what you say he…” I cut him off again
“You should be worried of your driver’s health and not your stupid championship right now. I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the day, so if you do me a favor and walk off the building calmly and not make me call security. Thank you very much and have a nice day”
And with that he left with some of his crew mates that were waiting for him. And right by the corner I notice a shocked face of Pierre with his mouth open. And still looking at Binnoto Pierre walks towards me.
“I have never seen someone shut his mouth is such style” I look to see if there is someone else in the reception room and thankfully there was no one. And right there and then I colapse.
I fall into Pierre’s arms and he holds me tight.
“I thought I couldn’t do it, when I saw him in the stretcher everything collapsed. I don’t know how I…” he pulls me of his shoulder to look me in the eyes.
“You are amazing, that’s how you did it. Now be the strong y/n I’ve always know and go with him.” Pierre with one hand takes of the tears I didn’t know were falling. “You are amazing” says as he kisses me on the forehead.
“I will call you when he awakes” I make a phone sign with my hand and take it to my ear to emphasize I will call him and I walk fast to Charles room.
Once I get to Charles door one doctor comes and tells me I did enough for today and and that I can go home. And I respond by saying I will say in the patient room to check on him.
I know on the door and Arthur opens and immediately hugs me and I hug him back, and in short moment his mom and brother are also hugging me.
“Did you see what happened?” Arthur asks me. I take a look at sleeping Charles
“No, and honestly I don’t think I want to see it right now”
I don’t let them know how difficult it was for me to help him and not get my emotions overtake me, it would sound unprofessional in-front of them, even if they are like my family.
Two hours later Arthur and Lorenzo went home to change clothes and will bring some for their mother, who stayed and is now sleeping in the corner.
I’m admiring Charles, he has growing out his beard a little, he looks more mature. When suddenly his head moves and turns in my direction and his eyes open slowly.
“Y/n…. Am I in heaven?” Seriously, to all the things he could say and it's that.
"I'm not dead, you know..." I put a big smile on my face, happy that he is alright and awake.
"I know, but you look like an angel" Oh, I look away from him and I can feel my face heat up. He must feel rave from the crash.
He looks around to check where he is and notices his mother sleeping next to him.
"Maman..."
"Would you like me to wake her up?" He turns to look at me and shakes his head.
"What happened? Why are you here?" Charles asks as he looks at the bed and the room, the second question although it shouldn't it hurts me.
"I can go if you want me to" I start to get up, of course, he doesn't want me here, it's been 10 years stupid. When a hand retains me by the wrist.
"Please stay, don't go" He puts on a puppy face for me not to leave him. and I sit back down.
"There was a car crash during the race, you got a concussion and we gave you heparin. You are still under supervision, and I'm here because I was the doctor in charge of your case" He puts on a sad face and immediately asks if anyone got hurt in which no one else got hurt thankfully. And also asked who was the winner but the race was suspended.
Right after that his mom awakens and starts showering him with kisses and a minute later his brothers arrive with clean clothes for him and his mother.
"You are in good hands, I will get going home" While still talking with his family he cuts the conversation and looks at me.
"Y/n, you live here?" He asks surprised.
"I live and I work here, I'm back home" Charles changes his worried face to a more relaxed one, with the thought of home.
"Please come again tomorrow" He says it like a command but immediately rectifies himself "If you don't have any other plans obviously" I smile at his response.
"I don't work tomorrow but if you want me to I will come to visit and I will also take advantage of it by checking your vitals" With a smile on everyone I get out of the room and go home to rest.
__
The next day in the morning I had to run a few errands and I also went to buy Charles a few things from the supermarket, flowers and a nice bracelet I saw in a shop window and immediately thought of him.
When I get to the hospital there is a lot of media waiting to get any news on him or to see him leave the hospital and bombard him with questions.
I put on my white coat, even though I don't work today, and I walk to Charles room. When I knock and get in it surprises me to only find Charles in the room eating a pudding.
"How are you feeling today?" I asked while leaving his presents on his feet.
"Are you asking this as Dr. y/l/n or as y/n?" He asks me while grabbing his presents and leaving the pudding to the table. "Also you didn't have to bring all of this"
"I'm asking as both" he looks at me with a friendly smile "Oh that it's nothing, I know the hospital food is trash and that it just reminded me of you"
"I find that pudding quite good actually" I laugh at his comment and he smiles back at me.
"I missed it"
"What?" I asked while I'm sitting on the chair
"Your laugh" I blush and look away and immediately try to change the subject.
"I thought the room will be full of people"
"Oh" he says looking all his room full of flowers and presents "It was, at 7am the first to come was Pierre"
"I know, he told me" He puts a questioning face and I reply to him and explain to him we bumped into each other on Friday.
"I know, he told me too" I sigh at his response
I check at his vitals and the notes the nurses put on the document and I notice everything is fine.
"Seeing everything is alright and no complications occurred, and as I'm your doctor, I can give you the discharge and you can be out in a couple of hours"
He puts on a sad face as soon as he sees me talking about work, but that's the main reason why I came here. Wasn't it?
"Can we talk first? I haven't known anything of you for years and I would love to catch up"
"I would also love to catch up in your life"
"Since my fabulous doctor gave me the discharge today" says as he laughs "We can meet up at my place tomorrow morning? Is that good with you?"
"It's good for me"
"Perfect, it's a date then"
Part 2
A/N: I know there is not much of Charles in it and is a little long but I feel like the background of the MC is important for you to understand her.
@livinghappy10 @mekraycom @mrscevans @dreamer-grl @gwynethhberdara
#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc#cl16#ferrari f1#ferrari#f1 imagine#driver x reader#charles leclerc x reader
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Fire and Salt chp11
🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕
For once the family seemed to get along for the sake of Viserys. But it could only last so long.
🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕
Masterlist
YN wanted to ignore the questioning from her brothers as they followed her out of the hall, intending to speak to Baela but all of them were insisting on interrogating her. With a roll of her purple eyes, YN made her way to her rooms with her brothers and cousins following her.
“You’re not really going to agree to the match are you?” Lucerys asked.
“It’s a terrible idea. You can’t marry him.” Rhaena stated.
“Completely horrible. You’re too good for him. You mustn’t allow this to happen.” Baela snipped.
“YN. Are you really gonna go through with this?” Jacerys asked.
With a quick turn on her heel, YN faced the four and pointed a slender finger at them to shut them up.
She pointed at Luke. “I have not given my answer yet. Stop asking.”
She pointed at Rhaena. “I know it’s not the greatest idea, but we don’t know what will happen.”
She pointed at Baela. “You’re too quick to anger and pass judgment on what I must or mustn’t do.”
She pointed at Jace. “I’m not going to ‘go through’ with anything. I haven’t made up my mind and I would like our families to stop fighting for once.” YN then rested her hand on her hip and looked each of them closely in the eyes. A slight frown at their questions formed on her face.
“I haven’t decided on anything. If I don’t agree to Aemond, there are still other lords that want me bound to their sons. I have to choose one. Now if that is Aemond or not does not concern you. At least in Kings Landing I’d be close to Driftmark and Dragonstone.” They all tried to speak up. “No. This is my choice. Which is more than what most women get. I will do best by our family and by grandfather. Now shoo.”
Once they left the princess sighed and went into her room. She thought about the offer some more and about what she’d say to Aemond later. A part of her wanted to retain her grudge and pride, to deny Aemond what he wanted and crush any friendship that might linger between them. But another pleading part begged her to reconcile. Begged her to let go of the hate that festered in her and find happiness in the man who was once the boy she loved dearly as a friend. In truth YN thought the match between her and Aemond would be a smart one. They were close as children, both had Targaryen blood, and both were accomplished dragon riders. As YN held up the carved dragon toy Aemond had given her once, a faint smile twitched at her lips. She brought the toy to her bed and traced the indents; her nails caressing the old thing quite gently.
She truly did miss Aemond.
~~~~
Later in the evening YN made her way into the dining hall where most of her family was already. She placed a kiss on her mother’s cheek and tried to find an appropriate seat to stand near. One that was close to her family but wouldn’t insult her other family. The air between her mother and the queen was tense. The earlier events did not help the rift between her family.
“Would you sit next to me, niece?” Aemond asked with a teasing tone. He knew she did not like it when they held such formality between them.
“Only if you do not refer to me as such, prince.” YN teased back and made her way over. Aemond smirked at her response and pulled a chair for her, shooing his brother away.
“Then you must extend me the same courtesy, YN.” The banter felt natural between them. Though the air of the room was not light, the air between the two was.
Before they could continue, the king was brought into the room making everyone stand as the guards carried him in. YN still couldn’t fully take in the weight of how her grandfather once looked. Sure he was never a grand figure, but here he looked so fragile and small. The room was quite silent as he was carried toward the table. Once everyone sat they all looked to the king who was seated between his wife and daughter. YN felt strange, like it was the wrong side of the table she sat at but she intended to grant peace for her grandfather tonight.
“How good it is.. To see you all tonight…together.” The old king rasped out as he looked along the table before he rested his eyes on his daughter.
“Prayer before we begin?” Alicent asked to which the king agreed. “May the mother smile down on this gathering with love. May the smith mend the bonds that have been broken for far too long. And Vaemond Velaryon, may the gods give him rest. “
YN did not usually consider herself overly religious, but she did find the prayer to be rather nice. She smiled at Helaena who sat to her right, before she turned her gaze to Aemond and offered him a tiny smile. One that brought some joy back into the prince’s chest.
“This is an occasion for celebration, it seems. My grandsons, Jace and Luke, will marry their cousins Baela and Rhaena, further strengthening the bond between our houses.” Viserys breathed out, smiling at his grandsons before he turned his gaze to his granddaughter. “And if there’s to be luck. YN may accept a match between herself and Aemond, bonding our family together. As it should be.” Aemond spared a quick glance at the girl who smiled back at her grandfather. He begged the gods that she would accept him.
“A toast to the young princes… and their betrothed. As well as YN’s decision when the time comes for it.” YN drank from her glass and overheard Aegon whispering insults to her brother. As much as she wished to slap him, she reeled in her anger. “Let us toast as well Prince Lucerys…” Her grandfather continued. “The future Lord of the Tides.”
WIth another gulp, YN spared a glance to Aemond who seemed to stare down Lucerys. Trying her best to ignore her anger at Aegon, but her rage remained in check as she let Jace fight his own battle. Her attention was brought back to her grandfather as he began to rise from his seat. Every movement looked like a battle with himself as the whole table watched him.
“It both gladdens my heart and fills me with sorrow to see the faces around the table.” Viserys breathed heavily, each word sounding like a struggle. “The faces most dear to me in all the world… yet grown so distant from each other…” Viserys spared a glance at YN and Aemond, who used to be so close. “in the years past.”
He brought his hand to his golden mask and removed it from his face. Revealing his almost skeletal look beneath, with his empty socket and sunken in cheek. YN held in her gasp, but subconsciously grabbed Aemond’s hand for a moment in shock. Her pain for her grandfather threw out any pride she had at the moment. Aemond was frozen when she grabbed his hand, looking down to see her pretty hand ontop of his. He brought his other up to pat it and offer some comfort which she did not reject.
“My own face… is no longer a handsome one…” Viserys wheezed out a slight chuckle. “If indeed it ever was. But tonight… I wish you to see me… as I am. Not just a king… but your father. Your brother. Your husband… and your grandsire.” He spared a look to YN. “Who may not, it seems… walk for much longer among you.” He dropped the mask which clanked on the table. “Let us no longer hold ill feelings in our hearts. The crown cannot stand strong if the House of the Dragon remains divided. But set aside your grievances…” Everyone looked down and ashamed, silent as the grave. “If not for the sake of the crown then for the sake of this old man. Who loves you all so dearly.”
His breaths were heavy, those were the only sounds from the room. Everyone looked away, ashamed that they had caused such grievance to this old man. They were all culpable in this grief that lingered amongst them. YN stared down at her hand that still rested on Aemonds.she felt ashamed. She hated hurting her poor grandfather who, like her, only wanted his family to be a true family. Once he had sat back down again, YN’s mother decided to stand to make her own toast.
“I wish to raise my cup to her grace, the queen.” Rhaenyra toasted sparing a glance at Alicent who looked back at her. “I love my father. But I must admit that no one has stood… more loyally by his side than his good wife.” Alicent looked up to Rhaenyra with a sorrowful gaze, the words hitting deep within. “She has tended to him with… unfailing devotion, love, and honor. And for that she has my gratitude… and my apology.”
With that Rhaenyra sat down. Soon after Alicent responded. “Your graciousness moves me deeply, princess. We are both mothers… and we love our children. We have more in common than we sometimes allow.” She stood with her own cup raised. “I raise my cup to you.. And to your house. You will make a fine queen.” Alicent offered her apology as it seemed that it was.
Aegon seemed to want to stir trouble instead. As he stood to grab more wine, he made disgusting comments to Baela. Jacerys stood in anger at his words, slamming his fists down on the table. Making everyone stare at him. He calmed when Baela called out his name, and when he looked at his sister. Her eyes started with clear intent: “do not.” So instead he decided to make his own toast.
“To prince Aegon and.. Prince Aemond.” The words felt forced from his mouth. He looked at Aemond who stood from his own chair. “We have not seen each other in years, but I have fond memories of our shared youth. And as men, I hope we may yet be friends and allies.” He looked directly at Aemond. “I know you would be a well match for my sister. If she chooses you. To you and your family’s good health, dear uncles.”
Viserys had complimented the boy when Helaena stood up to make her own speech. “I would like to toast Baela and Rhaena. They’ll be married soon. It isn’t so bad he just ignores you… except sometimes when he’s drunk.”
YN held in her laughter at the awkward speech and stood with her own drink.
“Since everyone is toasting, I feel left out.” She raised her cup up. “I have missed this place and you all. I hope our family’s petty grievances may come to an end and we may be united once more. So to that hope, I raise my cup to you all. In the hopes we all are a family again.”
Viserys smiled at that and ordered the music to start playing. Jace decided to dance with Helaena, making YN smile at the joy seen on Helaena’s face as she bounced around with Jace. The mood was lighter now and finally the tense weight seemed to lift for the night. YN looked down when she felt a tap on her foot. A game her and Aemond would play beneath the table would be to see who could tap each other’s foot the most. She tapped back and he returned it. Soon both were trying to contain their laughter as they kept tapping on each other’s foot. Aemond smiled at her smile and decided to make it bigger, YN caught onto his teasing smile.
“No. Don’t you dare make me laugh.” YN warned, still smiling.
“Did you know…” Aemond started, thinking of a dry humor joke.
“Aemond don’t you dare.” YN tried to contain her smile.
“A fish swam into a wall. Did you know what he said?”
“I’m not going to entertain you.”
“Dam.”
YN cringed at the awful dry humor that was bound to make her laugh. And indeed she started to giggle, placing her hand over her mouth to hide her smile.
“That’s.. heh… That’s not funny.” YN chuckled and hid her face behind her palm.
“But you are laughing.” Aemond teased.
“No… hahaha… No I’m not..” YN breathed out in between her chuckles, then sat up with a wide smile, thinking of her own joke to tell. “I have three eyes, a crater for a nose, and rotten teeth. What am I?”
Aemond knew this one and smiled at the old joke. “Quite ugly if I may say.” The two paused, then laughed at the stupid joke. “It feels nice to laugh with you, YN. If I am allowed to say that.”
“You can compliment my jokes. Everyone knows they are the best.” YN smiled then held up her glass to his. “I will compliment your fighting stance. Though I didn’t see much, I have heard that you were a competent fighter.”
“I thank you. I’ve heard great exploits from you as well. Mostly from the small folk.” Aemond stared at her face and hair, focusing his eyes on her plush lips that he couldn’t help but admire as they stretched into a smile.
“Oh SeaSmoke and I adore flying to towns. We especially love ports and dancing in the street with children. But I must say spending time in taverns is well entertaining. I know many sea shanties now.” YN smiled at the memories she had of visiting peoples.
“You must sing me one. Hopefully I will get well acquainted with your voice soon enough.”
“Don’t flirt with me, Aemond. Not unless you decide to do something about it.” YN teased.
The two laughed and lifted their cups to each other once again. Though his attention would get caught on Jace and Helaena, Aemond was still mostly focused on YN as they naturally fell back into conversation as they used to do. Talking about his studies, about dragons, about YN and her times on ships and on Dragonback, about Aemond and how high he flew Vaghar and his sword fighting. It felt natural between them, this small talk and joking. Like the renewal of an old friendship a fire of care burned between them.
Viserys looked over to his granddaughter and smiled at the sight. The two looked friendly. He always had seen them together when they were young and had assumed like others they would be betrothed. Now that they seemed to let go of the past it seemed that he might see them both happy once again. Which was all he wanted for his granddaughter. The pains in his head made him look away though, and queen Alicent called the guards to have him taken back to his rooms. YN saw this and got up to place one last kiss to the side of his face. As she always used to.
She wanted to say so many things but decided to only whisper an I love you to him as he was taken away. YN watched sadly then made her way back to her seat. Where they decided to place a roasted pig in front of Aemond. YN’s stomach turned, she hated pigs but also knew what it meant to Aemond. She looked up to Luke who smirked at the display, but his smile stopped when YN gave him a sharp look telling him to knock it off. But it was too late. Aemond hit the table and stood up with his cup in his hand.
“Final tribute.” Aemond said with his cup raised. “To the health of my nephews: Jace… Luke… and Joffery. Each of them handsome, wise… hm…. let us drain our cups to thee three… Strong boys.”
That made YN stand from her chair and push away from Aemond, Anger on her face.
“I dare you to say that again.” Jace spoke, pride in his voice.
“Why? Twas only a compliment.” Aemond taunted back, ignoring how YN’s face turned to anger as she stepped away from him. “Do you not think yourself Strong?”
YN pushed him away, but her efforts were overshadowed by Jace coming up and punching Aemond across the face. Luke got up and was subsequently shoved onto the table by Aegon, making YN go up and grab his hair pulling him back harshly. She pulled him away and shoved him hard, glaring at Aemond who had shoved Jace to the ground. The guards grabbed her brothers before the fight could get any worse. YN made her way over to Luke with a still angry look displaying. Aemond it seemed wasn’t done with his insults as he jabbed more at Jace who had to be stopped by Daemon.
“Go to your quarters. All of you, now.” Rhaenyra commanded. Aemond spared one look at YN who didn’t bother to grace him with anything but anger. She grabbed Luke by the arm and dragged him away to his quarters.
Luke didn’t look at her as she escorted him back. Too angry that he let his emotions get the better of him. Luke attempted to speak but YN shut him down with a glare.
“Not a word, Luke.” YN said.
“But-”
“But nothing. I;m mad at everyone now.”
“We were defending our honor. Mother’s honor-”
“You had to laugh at the pig then? You couldn’t let it go? You had to provoke him?” YN stopped at his room and stared him down. “You wanted to insult him one last time. For whatever reason. You child. Go to your room. Pack up. We are most likely going to leave for Dragonstone soon.”
“Will you accept him?” Luke asked, his voice meek.
YN sighed and rubbed her face. “You have made my position on the matter more difficult. Now go.”
Once he had left YN found her way back to her room. Intent on doing her packing herself she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Opening it she found someone she was once again angry with. Aemond.
“Can we talk?” He asked.
“Not in my room.” YN responded and stepped outside. Crossing her arms and giving him an exasperated look. “Well. Explain yourself.”
“I have nothing to explain.”
“Then we’re done here.”
“Wait. I am sorry to have upset you.” Aemond tried to apologize but it felt weak.
“But not for insulting my brothers and subsequently my mother.” YN scoffed.
“You saw how he laughed.”
“I don’t care if he slapped you, Aemond. You have a habit of calling my brothers bastards and by that insulting my mother.” YN retaliated.
“Oh please YN.” Aemond scoffed and threw his hands back. “You cannot be as willfully blind as the rest of them. Blind to a man with half of the Targaryen blood taking the throne over you. Blind as the King who ignores the fact that your mother and Harwin Strong-”
YN pulled out her knife at that and glared harshly into his eyes. “Don’t you ever utter his name again. You know damn well how close he was to me. How I loved him like he was a second father!”
Aemond sighed and brushed his hair back. “I apologize for that. That was tasteless of me when I knew how close you were. But my point still stands. You cannot be so willfully blind.”
“I can be whatever the hell I want. My father called my brothers his children. He loved them as his children. They were his sons whether you like to acknowledge that or not. You can’t honestly believe that insulting my family will allow any good grace to exist between us.” YN growled and sheathed her knife back.
Aemond was silent. Staring down at the floor and clenching his fists, he took a deep breath and looked right back at her. He wanted to salvage what friendship they had managed to conjure again tonight.
“I don’t want this night to sour your decision, YN.” Aemond whispered.
“Well it’s certainly impacted it. Good night Aemond.” YN dismissed him, but she stopped when he reached forward and grabbed her hand.
“Please YN. Please think about it. Truly think about it. I don’t want to lose you once again.” Aemond pleaded.
YN sighed and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Whispering good night once again, YN went back to her room. She decided to forgo her pride and truly consider the match. But this night did not end well enough to calm her nerves. The same foreboding feeling she had when she left for Dragonstone all those years ago came back and nestled in her stomach. Something big was going to happen, she just didn’t know what.
#house of the dragon#house of the dragon x reader#hotd#hotd x reader#velaryon reader#poc reader#woc reader#viserys targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#daemon targeryan#jacerys velaryon#lucerys velaryon#baela#rhaena#aemond imagine#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen
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The Letter
Dear Levi,
If you’re reading this, that means my time finally arrived. I want to start off by saying thank you. Thank you for allowing me to talk your head off. You were a very genuine friend. I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to have you a part of my life. Even though our friendship was short-lived. I cherished every moment. Can I tell you something? This has got to be the thing I regret the most. Keeping my family in the dark of my diagnosis was the hardest decision in this whole ‘sick’ journey; Your company made it not so lonely. Speaking of family; y/n. Remember them? My sibling? I know, since my passing, you have been watching over them. Without my asking, too. Thank you. The only way I know this is because you’re reading this letter right now. I told y/n to give it to you when your paths crossed. I just hope it wasn’t too long after my departure that it happened. Anyway, can I ask you a favor? Please keep watching over them? They may look completely put together now, but I know they’re suffering inside. Y/n has always been the silent sufferer type. Just one thing the two of you have in common. Hint. Hint. You’re the only one that I can really trust to look over them. Now on a different note. You weren’t much of a talker when it came to your personal life, so I did some digging. Please don’t be mad. I’ve one other thing to ask of you, and that is to live your life without holding onto all the pain you’re hiding. What you have had to endure was something that no individual should have to go through. Open that tea shop you’re always fantasizing about. That is, if you haven’t already. You deserve to be happy, Levi. I’m watching you from up here. You best believe that every rainstorm that comes around will be my doing. Until next time, Levi.
~Signed Erwin.
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Voyage of the Nautilus: The Black Current
I was left to myself, lost in my thoughts. They all centered on the Nautilus’s commander.
Aronnax just can’t stop thinking about Nemo ...
“If master says so, then so be it,” Conseil answered. “But in all honesty, this lounge is enough to astonish even someone Flemish like myself.”
The flemings (?) not easily astonished I see. I guess this is part of the explanation for Conseil’s unflapablitlity.
“Indulge your astonishment, my friend, and have a look, because there’s plenty of work here for a classifier of your talents.”
I love the character trait of Conseil being a classifier and all he needs to be happy are a series of specimens to classify endlessly.
In short, a thousand questions I had no time to answer.
I have to say, I think that Aronnax really has all the time to answer the questions given the fact that they are supposedly trapped here for the rest of their lives.
“I haven’t even spotted the crew of this boat. By any chance, could they be electric too?”
Is this a Frankenstein reference? Is that what Ned is subtly referring to?
“It’s the beginning of the end!” Ned Land said.
“. . . order Hydromedusa,” Conseil muttered.
This really sums up these two characters. Are Ned and Conseil narrative foils? (oh my god they were narrative foils).
Conseil really is unflappable, nothing phases him, really the least anxious man. Conseil wouldn’t panic if a house was burning down around him. Conseil is the “this is fine” meme but he really does just feel fine.
It was no longer illuminated water, it was liquid light.
This book is just neurodivergent characters, hilarious character dynamics, long lists of ocean specimens, suddenly beautiful descriptions of water.
And on this subject a dispute arose between the two friends, since both were knowledgeable about fish, but from totally different standpoints.
I love this. I’m obsessed with this. This is also how I communicate.
and since he and Ned were now fast friends, he just had to show off.
Conseil’s character is so much more complex than I thought it was going to be at first. I love that now that he’s friends with Ned, then he wants to show off his knowledge but not before!
“Sure I do,” the harpooner replied in all seriousness. “They’re classified into fish we eat and fish we don’t eat!”
This is hilarious and also probably closest to my relationship with fish.
“Are you grasping all this, Ned my friend?” asked the scholarly Conseil.
“Not a lick of it, Conseil my friend,” the harpooner replied. “But keep going, because you fill me with fascination.”
This is so cute! Ned just enjoying listening to Ned go on and on about his current obsession. This is the heights of friendship!
In short, he was the exact opposite of the Canadian, who knew nothing about classification but could instantly put a name to any fish.
Like I said narrative foils! I love when books instantly affirm my ideas.
“A triggerfish,” I said.
“It’s a Chinese triggerfish,” Ned Land replied.
“Genus Balistes, family Scleroderma, order Plectognatha,” Conseil muttered.
Ned identified the fish, Conseil classified them, and as for me, I was in ecstasy over the verve of their movements and the beauty of their forms.
And here we have these three characters and their trio summed up perfectly.
... I won’t mention every variety that passed before our dazzled eyes.
But I will try my best to. *precedes to describe the varieties that passed before his eyes for paragraphs*
It consisted of turtle soup made from the daintiest hawksbill, a red mullet with white, slightly flaky flesh, whose liver, when separately prepared, makes delicious eating, plus loin of imperial angelfish, whose flavor struck me as even better than salmon.
I need someone to try making all of the food in 20,000 leagues because it all sounds so good and also fascinating? Some of the most unique meals I’ve ever read about.
#voyage of the nautilus#nautilus liveblog#i have the rest of the entries saved in my drafts so maybe i'll slowly edit them over this hiatus
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idk why im so blocked with writing recently. everything is so hard lamao. but here is a thing
October Long pt 2
October 7th 2023
Edward had excused himself to take a quick shower and change into more appropriate clothes and so, when he steps out of Élyse’s washroom, it is to more commotion coming from the living room. It seems that the rest of the family, minus Samuel, has arrived and he realises, not for the first time, that it’s been quite a long time since he’s last properly seen and spoken with Jacques and Suzette.
He tries not to panic as he wonders how they’ll react, but before he can discreetly hide anywhere else, Suzette seems to spot him from the other end of the room and she lets go of Étienne with an ear-piercing shriek, before making her way quickly towards him.
“Edward?! Is that really you?! I haven’t seen you in forever!”
He doesn’t even get a chance to respond and he soon finds himself with an armful of Suzette, who is going on about how good it is to see him and how much she’s apparently missed him. He’d forgotten just how energetic Suzette could be – and how strong – given her small stature, but she nearly picks him off the ground with her embrace and when he gets over the initial shock, he finds a way to hug her back. He spares a glance towards Étienne, silently asking for help, but his boyfriend shares a look with his brother and the both of them shrug, amused.
“It’s good to see you too,” He manages to wheeze, when his feet are fully back on solid ground.
Truth be told, he’d always enjoyed his holidays at Jacques (and Suzette’s). If anything, it had been a fascinating observation exercise in the strange dynamics of Étienne’s family. Compared to his own, Étienne’s family had never felt close. Sure, Étienne was close to Élyse, and sometimes Étienne would spend hang out with his cousin Charlie (even though it always felt as though it was done under duress), and he didn’t mind visiting Jacques on occasion, but Étienne and Samuel were like fire and water and it rarely felt as though any one of them would lend a hand to the other if there was some sort of grave situation.
At least, Edward thought, he had civil relations with most of his own family – to some extent – and knew that if one was going through something, the others would pitch in to help out. In most cases. Or – more so than Étienne’s family.
Anyways.
It had been quite interesting to see that despite everything, come Christmas, everyone made an effort and gravitated around to Jacques’ place, as if Catholic guilt, maybe, pulled them all back together. It was always fascinating how it was Jacques who seemed to be able to pull this, given that he was the quietest of them all, and maybe, Edward reflected, that was the key to the success. A stable force of nature to balance out Samuel’s snark and Étienne’s easy to ignite temper when he was around him.
Still, it had never felt forced, or at the very least, more often than not it had never felt forced, and maybe it meant that deep down, they all wanted to get along in their own ways but years of hurt had stopped them from reaching out properly.
But Edward keeps fond memories of those evenings filled with laughter and good food and that, if nothing else, has to count for something.
“You know, I was starting to think we would never see you again. Does this mean you and Étienne have patched things up?”
Edward spares Étienne another glance. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell Étienne’s family that they’re dating, but he also has not had this conversation with Étienne either. Technically, he also knows that Étienne’s family wouldn’t bat an eye at the notion, but he also doesn’t know if he wants to explain the particularities of his relationship just yet.
“If you’re asking if we’re friends again, then yes, we are.” Étienne comes to his rescue and Edward lets out a sigh of relief. “We finally pulled our heads out of our asses, rekindled our friendship, and El invited him over.”
“Oh! That’s wonderful; I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks,” They both manage to say in unison.
Edward is amazed that Suzette doesn’t push it, but he’s also glad. He wonders as well if she’s that naïve, or if she’s giving them both the benefit of the doubt. He also has about half a dozen questions he’d like to ask his beau about where Suzette thought he’d been for the past few holidays and whether or not she’d ever really knew that they’d been sort of together back in the days. He’s not about to push his luck and ask, but he’ll have to have a chat with Étienne about it later; it would be nice to have a clear plan and version of facts for when it’ll be needed.
“You should come for Christmas! Like you used to. I can make you a new stocking and it would be lovely to have you over again. Oh, say you’ll come over for Christmas, Edward, please?”
Suzette looks at him with imploring and pleading brown eyes and she looks so very hopeful and pleased with her sudden little idea. Étienne squawks besides him, babbling on about how he must already have plans and how he has a family of his own and such. Edward appreciates the easy out he could take but at the same time, they had spoken about this last year; about alternating. And – it would be nice. He’d have to speak with Calvin and he knows for a fact that Étienne would tell him that Calvin is more than welcome. Plus, Samuel would be happy to see Calvin and vice versa, but he still needs a moment to figure it all out.
“Honey, tell Edward he can come over for Christmas.” Suzette nudges Jacques in the thigh and Edward still thinks it’s comical how this smidgen of a woman has such power over the quiet giant that is Étienne’s brother, Jacques.
“Of course.” Is all Jacques says and Suzette beams, as if that’s all the answer anyone needs.
“I’ll – that’s very nice of you to invite me – I’ll get back to you once I’m back home, but I would love to be there.”
His answer seems to be good enough for Suzette for now and she hugs him tightly once more, mentioning all the things she’s going to make. Edward lets her, oddly calmed by her chatter, until Élyse calls them over to the dining room.
FIN
#pc: edmonton#edward murphy#pc: montreal#étienne maisonneuve#pc: shawinigan#suzette tba#pc: trois-rivières#jacques#jacques i forgot his family name wow#fic#projocanondoko
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Soulmates: Chapter Twenty-Seven – Goodbye, Supernatural! (Part 2) – Finale
Summary: On November 19th, 2020, Supernatural aired its last episode. Ava takes to social media to publicly say goodbye and thank the cast, crew, and fans who changed her and her husband’s lives.
Characters: Jensen Ackles x Ava Ackles (OFC)
Warnings: Language, fluff
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: Well, this is it, guys! The final part of this saga. If you’ve got this far, thank you for sticking with me and reading through to the end! I hope you enjoyed it! The picture used is taken from Pinterest. This hasn’t been beta’d, and all mistakes are mine.
You can catch up here!
My Masterlist AO3 Ko-Fi
November 2020
Liked by jensenackles, jaredpadalecki, genpadalecki, bigbaldhead, misha, officialbrianab, hilarieburton, jeffreydeanmorgan and 647,389 others
avaackles This is the first ever photo of Jensen and me. It was taken during my week on the Supernatural set in June 2005. That 24-year-old girl had no idea the 27-year-old boy standing beside her would become her whole world.
Over the next year, these young, clueless kids became best friends or, more accurately: partners in crime. The summer and fall of 2006 saw a shift in their relationship, and they became more. So much more. Lovers, partners, soulmates. If someone had told me the day this photo was taken where we’d be in 15 years, I’d have died laughing.
When I left SPN in 2010, it was as 29-year-old Ava Broussard. When I filmed my last ever scene as Hannah Singer on September 10th, 2020 (see @jensenackles post to see the last photo taken of the two of us on set), it was as Ava Ackles, wife of ten years, mother to four wonderful children who was exactly one week away from turning forty… How the fuck did that happen??
This entire ride has been totally and utterly life-changing. It’s been humbling and elating. It’s also been overwhelming and terrifying at times. But none of that compares to how blessed and honoured I am to have been a small part of this phenomenal journey. To still hold a place in the hearts of you, the fans, after a DECADE away from Supernatural (minus a few pop-ups here and there!) completely blows my mind. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you have given me, my family and, of course, my husband.
So many families have been born from this modest show. Including those of the two leading men! But the friendships? They are something special and will stand the test of time. The crew are one of the best in the business, and I’m a lucky woman to call so many of you a friend. None of the past 15 years could’ve been possible without your dedication. Special mention to Eric Kripke - I mean this wholeheartedly when I say I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for you and our dear and deeply missed friend, Kim Manners. All it took was one conversation with you guys in line at the WB’s studio café about The Bachelor and Jeopardy for you to invite me to audition for a role I honestly wasn’t sure I could give justice to. I’m glad I did Hannah, and you proud. I am floored by the kindness and compassion you have always shown me and everyone else who’s ever had a part, big or small, in the cast and crew of Supernatural.
Mark P, Mark S, Kevin, Matt, Ruth, Felicia, DJ, Emily, Alex, Briana, Kim, and Sam. I haven’t even worked with most of you, yet you are some of my closest friends. So, to you and the many others I know I’ve forgotten to mention, I extend my thanks for keeping my boys safe and happy. I hope our paths cross someday on a set somewhere. Until then, we’ll always have the Con circuits!
Jason, Rob, and Richard. Man! You made Cons super fun! They’re already fun, but you guys know how to throw a good karaoke party and Saturday Night Special! I should probably leave being a rock star to Jensen but hit me up if you want to record anything. Another duet with @officialbrianab, anyone? 👀🎤👯♀️
Jared. What the fuck can I say about you, Sasquatch? Words fail me. They really do. You are the brother I never had (or wanted!), and you mean so much to me. Thank you for not only being my confidant but my husband’s too. You are good and pure, and I love you so much. I am proud of you. The dedication in you, the strength you have, the sacrifices you have made, and the unyielding faith you have in everything you do shows what type of person you are under all of that ridiculous floppy hair. I love you, Texas! My adorably dorky little brother from another mother! Always Keep Fighting, Bitch.
To my screen dad, Jim: you are a gentleman of epically mega proportions, and I am truly blessed to know you. I’m a better person for having you in my life. Taking me on as a surrogate daughter is one of your most selfless acts. And trust me - you have done so many things that make you the epitome of a selfless man! You taught me so much about so many things, and I will forever be in your debt. I remember when I first met you, we had a very long and heartfelt conversation that had us spilling our hearts out to each other. Because of that, and because of you, I found the courage to turn the young girl in this photo into the woman she became and still is today. Thank you, Jim. I am so lucky to have your unconditional love, and you will always have mine. You have no idea what you truly mean to me and I can never repay all the compassion you have shown me.
Misha. Misha, Misha, Misha! We have a saying, us Bostonians, you know the one I’m talking about - you know you’re one of the good guys when we use an insult instead of your name. But the name I gave you when we met in 2008 is not repeatable on social media or anywhere! But know that it’s still true, and that’s still your name on my phone! Thank you, Misha. For everything. But especially for keeping your promise to take care of my boys upon my departure as Hannah. You did good! You are a great friend and a beautiful human being. When you said you wanted to be open-hearted, kind, and true like Castiel - you don’t need to fret, Mish. You already are.
Alright, I thought I was lost for words with Jared! Well, I’m even more lost when it comes to his better half - Genevieve. We formed our never-ending, always strengthening bond over pitchers of margaritas and extra greasy burgers in a sports bar during a Pats game. Despite the extremely unladylike horror I subjected you to, you still wanted to be my friend. Thank you for that - I know it wasn’t pretty. You are my guardian angel. Before we left the show together, we talked for hours about how we would stop each other from falling apart while we tried to figure out what happened next. We talked about every scenario we could come up with, but boy - we were so wrong and unprepared for it! We knew what being a part of this show was like. We lived it as actors and then later as wives. Still, it didn’t make it any easier to make a home and have a family when our husbands worked away for nine months of the year, so I thank you for being there for my kids and me. Always. No questions asked, no matter the circumstances, the reason or the distance between us. I will always be there to do the same for you. I adore you and your beautiful family.
I’ve saved the best for last - Jensen. Love of my life. My light in the darkness. My one and only. My person. My North Star. My home. The better part of me. Thank you for everything you do for our family. Thank you for giving me a family. I love you. So, fucking much, baby. The professionalism, dedication and sacrifices you have given to this show and its fans over the last 15 years stun me. I am in awe of you. Always have been and always will be. You carry yourself with grace and dignity, selflessly helping others in any way you can. Even if it’s in the smallest way. You care about everyone you meet, and your heart is so big and filled with love for what you do and for the people who love what you do. You are the most extraordinary man I know. Never change, Cowboy. Ever. Your love and support for me and our family knows no bounds, and I am truly the luckiest woman on the planet to be able to call you mine. You are the best husband and an amazing father, and I often wonder what I did to deserve you and our perfect babies. I won’t pretend it’s always been easy, nothing worth having ever is, but the shit we’ve been through has only served in making you stronger, making me stronger and making us stronger. We can conquer anything together, and I know I can take on the world because I have you by my side. I’m so blessed to be able to spend my life with my soulmate, and I cannot wait to start this new chapter with you. Time to Supe up, baby! 🦸
I can sit here and say that I was ready to watch the series finale tonight. But I wasn’t. It’s over, and I’m still not ready. This show, these characters, and the fans have been a massive part of my life and my family for 15 YEARS! It’s a long damn time, and although the end has been in the making for 18 months, I just can’t find it in me to say goodbye. That word is too final, and I don’t think anyone in the SPN world is ready for that; yet. So, I sign off with arrivederci and leave it at “until we meet again”.
Family don’t end with blood. It never has. And to all the people I’ve mentioned in this long-ass note (sorry!), I’ve shown that. And trust me, there are so many more people in my family that I’ve privately thanked. I love you all ❤️
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jensenackles Wow! You got me right in the feels there, baby girl! I love you more than words can ever say. You are an inspiration to me, and trust me, it’s me who’s the lucky one because you chose me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your unfaltering patience, infinite understanding, unyielding support, and unconditional love throughout this journey. I couldn’t have done any of it without you by my side, Princess! Oh man, where did all this dust come from? Making my eyes water! I love you, Ava. Always and forever xx
jaredpadalecki You always had a beautiful way with words, Boston! I share Jensen’s sentiments about this dusty room aggravating my eyes! I am a better man because I know you. Thank you. I love you!
genpadalecki Ava, I love you girl! I’ll always love you! You don’t come out the other side of watching a Pats game with a superfan and just throw someone so passionate and loyal away! Thank you for walking right by my side through this crazy ride, even as you embarked on an even crazier one 🧟♂️
officialbrianab Uhmmm, another duet with you? WHERE DO I SIGN UP???
misha I can’t even right now. Your words have hit me hard and deeply. Once I’ve composed myself better, you’ll be hearing from me, Mrs Ackles! I love you, Ava.
THE END
Jensen / Dean Tags:
@akshi8278
@deanwanddamons
@siospins2
@sexyvixen7
@leigh70
Soulmates Tags:
@deans-baby-momma
#Soulmates#jensen ackles rpf#jensen ackles fanfic#jensen ackles x ofc#jensen fanfic#spn fanfic#spn rpf#Jensen Ackles#Jensen#SPN#jensen x ofc#Supernatural RPF
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OC Interview
I was tagged by @chuckhansen to interview some of my kiddos. Paxton and Rita have been on my mind lately and decided to volunteer themselves.
Tagging anyone who would like to do this!
Interior - Lost Lake’s infirmary. The place is surprisingly empty, save for one Paxton Rivera, who is sitting at a desk practicing suture stitches on a pile of mending while reading a salvaged medical textbook. Most of the lights are off, save the lone desk lamp next to him.
He looks up when his girlfriend (more like wife, but they haven’t discussed that. Yet.) Rita Navarro walks in with two mugs, the smell of her trademark strength coffee wafting from both as she makes her way to him.
Paxton: What are you doing up so late?
Rita: Couldn’t sleep. Bed’s too big without you.
Paxton: [laughs] Babe, we share a single size bed. And that’s only because we managed to scavenge one from one of the nearby houses nobody was using.
Rita: Like I said, bed was too big without you. [sets one mug down in front of him, hops up onto the edge of the desk that’s clear of items] Looks like tonight’s a quiet night on call.
Paxton: Yeah. We all could use one of them every once and a while.
Rita: Hey, quit talking like that, you’re going to jinx us.
Paxton: And you’re trying to speak negativity into existence. [takes a sip from his mug] Oh, Jesus, that’s stronger than usual. You use motor oil instead of coffee grounds?
Rita: [grinning, blowing on the surface of her own mug] Maybe. Do you mind some company, or are you busy brushing up on your skills?
Paxton: I always have time for you. Besides, I can multitask. [he pauses and stretches, his back audibly cracking] Actually, I could use a break. Think I’m seeing stitch patterns in my sleep.
Rita: Well, then I have a treat for you! Check out what I found while on a supply run. [pulls out a battered copy of Seventeen Magazine] Can you believe they actually still printed this? I thought it went out of print back when we were in high school!
Paxton: Oh yeah, I remember those. You used to read everyone’s horoscopes to them during lunch.
Rita: I did not.
Paxton: And you kept sighing over Antonio Banderas. I mean, 90s era Antonio was pretty smokin’.
Rita: Today’s era Antonio is pretty hot too, you mean.
Paxton: You ever wonder who made it? I mean, people like celebrities and politicians?
Rita: [shrugging] Does it matter? I mean, the whole end of the world as we knew it sort of leveled the playing field. In the end, everybody’s just like everybody else, trying to make it out alive one day at a time. [drinks the last of her coffee, sets mug aside] Anyway, look at this handy dandy Friendship Interview form!
Paxton: [raises eyebrow skeptically] Are you seriously thinking about doing that with me?
Rita: [mimes pulling a pen out of her jacket pocket and clicking it] Like you have anything better to do on your shift? The one that you still have a couple of hours left on?
Paxton: Well, when you put it that way…
Rita: [sits up straighter] Right! First question:
- Name?
Paxton: Paxton. [eyes Rita as she makes a face at him] Just Paxton.
Rita: Your whole name, handsome. It’s not like anyone’s here to hear you.
Paxton: [rolls eyes] Paxton Emmanuel Rivera.
Rita: Now was that so hard?
Paxton: Next question, Rita Elena.
- Are you dating someone?
Paxton: I dunno. Am I dating someone? We technically haven’t been on a date in… [pauses as he mentally calculates] a year and a half?
Rita: That can’t be right. Remember that one security sweep we did on our anniversary last week?
Paxton: That doesn’t count. We were on the clock.
Rita: Pax. Babe. I totally pulled favors to get us alone on a safe route because it was a date.
Paxton: Oh.
Rita: I love you, but sometimes you really don’t take the hints given you.
- Are you happy?
Paxton: We’re safe, have a roof over our heads, and are healthy. I’d say I’m pretty happy right about now.
- Are you angry?
Rita: I can count on one hand and not use all my fingers at how many times you’ve been angry. We’ll skip this one.
- Are your parents still married?
Paxton: Pre-outbreak? Yes. After shit hit the fan? I…[looks down] skip.
Rita: Yeah, skip.
- Birthplace?
Paxton: San Antonio, Texas
- Hair color?
Paxton: Dark brown. Some silver creeping in at the temples.
Rita: it’s a sexy look on you too.
- Eye color?
Paxton: Brown. No silver creeping around the edges.
Rita: Ha.
- Mood?
Paxton: Content. I’m hanging out with my favorite girl and there’s nobody here that needs medical attention.
- Sex?
Paxton: Yes, please. [laughs at Rita’s exasperated sigh] Male.
- Summer or winter?
Paxton: Fall.
— Morning or afternoon?
Paxton: Morning.
Rita: Then why is it such a struggle to get you up in time for morning duties?
Paxton: Moving on.
= EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE =
— Are you in love?
Paxton: [grins goofily] What do you think?
Rita: I think you’re a dork.
Paxton: [reaches out to hold her hand, brings it up to his lips for a kiss] But I’m your dork.
Rita: [smiling fondly] Yeah, you sure as hell are my dork.
— Who ended your last relationship?
Paxton: Uh, I don’t remember. I think it was a mutual thing?
Rita: How can you not remember something like that?
Paxton: Granted, the last relationship I was in before you was in elementary school. We probably broke up because I didn’t give her the Dunkaroos my mom packed in my lunch or something.
Rita: [flabbergasted] You didn’t date anyone between then and me?
Paxton: Rita, you know it’s always been you. I was happy to wait until my right moment to make my move.
Rita: I got dumped at prom. Mid-slow dance. Your moment was twenty years ago when I was crying on the roof of your car while we ate Whataburgers and my mascara was running down my face.
Paxton: I gave you my tuxedo jacket. That was my move. I also let out all the air in the tires of his stupid pickup truck for an entire month, just rotating which tire turned out flat so he had to spend a fortune replacing them all.
Rita: That was you?
Paxton: That wasn’t my move, that was just me getting satisfaction seeing him cry in the parking lot when I finally decided to let all four go flat at once.
Rita: I love you so much.
— Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Paxton: God, I hope not. If I ever did, it was by accident.
— Are you afraid of commitments?
Paxton: Really?
Rita: [Laughing] Yeah, Mr. Commitment over here. Next question.
— Have you hugged someone within the last week?
Paxton: I hugged you this afternoon.
Rita: You did a little more than just hug me this afternoon.
Paxton: The questionnaire didn’t say how far to go into detail.
— Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Paxton: [scratching cheek absently] They wouldn’t be much of a secret admirer if I knew about it, right?
— Have you ever broken your own heart?
Paxton: [grimaces] Too many times.
Rita: Pax…
Paxton: Hey, it was worth the wait. You were worth the wait.
=SIX CHOICES=
— Love or lust?
Paxton: Love, definitely.
— Lemonade or ice tea?
Paxton: We’re Texan. I think my blood type is Sweet Tea.
Rita: Wouldn’t say no to a good Arnold Palmer though.
Paxton: Definitely wouldn’t turn one of those down. With the little ice you could only get at that one drive-in chain?
Rita: Ugh, I miss their burgers. They made the best jalapeno poppers too.
Paxton: And now I’m hungry.
— Cats or dogs?
Paxton: Yes.
Rita: That’s not an answer!
Paxton: I was a vet tech who had designated pockets to put little kittens or puppies in while I worked. I love them both equally.
— A few best friends or many regular friends?
Paxton: A lot of regular friends.
Rita: Really? You were always close with just a few back home.
Paxton: [looks down again] A lot of regular friends means that you can come together to mourn the loss of one when they get taken out by infected or Rippers or whatever other asshole that they were unlucky enough to meet.
Rita: [reaches out and grabs his hand in both of hers]
Paxton: Safety in numbers, you know?
Rita: okay, let’s keep going.
— Wild night out or romantic night in?
Paxton: [still visibly trying to get back into a playful mindset] Night in. You know I’m a homebody.
Rita: Not true! Remember that year we stayed out during Fiesta Week and partied each night until daybreak? You had to carry me piggyback to our car when the heel of my shoe broke.
Paxton: I also remember the hangover from staying out every night during Fiesta Week. It was fun, but I liked ordering in and snuggling up with you on our couch while we decided what TV show to binge better.
— Day or night?
Paxton: Daytime, definitely. More time to go on supply runs and not accidentally run into a Horde.
=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=
— Been caught sneaking out?
Paxton: Javier busted my ass on multiple occasions during high school when he was home from college.
Rita: Why doesn’t that surprise me? I’m shocked that he didn’t alert the parents that his baby brother was out for the night.
Paxton: He never snitched because I always brought him a pineapple Jarritos and a taco de lengua from that little all-night corner place a block away from our house.
Rita: oh man, that place was so good. I can taste the migas they made only on Saturday mornings.
— Fallen down/up the stairs?
Paxton: Yes to both. Alcohol may have been involved when I got older, but I was just a clumsy little kid, okay?
— Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?
Paxton: [Wistfully] Yeah. I’m just glad that in the end, you wanted me back.
— Wanted to disappear?
Paxton: Who doesn’t?
= FOUR PREFERENCES =
— Smile or eyes?
Paxton: Smile. That one you do that makes your eyes shine is my favorite.
Rita: And that’s why I save that smile just for you.
— Shorter or taller?
Paxton: Shorter. You’re pocket-sized.
Rita: [indignant] I am average height, you tall, genetic freak of nature.
Paxton: Six foot one is not freakishly tall.
Rita: There was a reason everyone called you Garrochón and your grandma used to say ¡ay, que alto! whenever we visited her.
— Intelligence or attraction?
Paxton: It so happens that my girlfriend is a smokin’ hot babe who’s also a goddamn genius, so I feel like I won the jackpot in the life partner department.
Rita: [visibly blushing] You know, you don’t have to sweet talk me in order to get me into bed.
Paxton: It isn’t sweet talking if I’m telling the truth. Legs for days and a brain that runs circles around the best of them? Absolute perfection.
— Hook-up or relationship?
Paxton: Relationship. I’m too awkward for random hook-ups.
Rita: [laughing] What do you mean?
Paxton: I mean, what do you even say afterwards? Do you just put on your pants and leave? Tell them thank you? Buy them breakfast? Would they think that you were trying for something more if you did buy them breakfast?
Rita: Sweetie, if I remember our first time together, you thanked me, put on your pants and left but came back ten minutes later with pizza and drinks, and bought me breakfast the next morning.
Paxton: See what I mean? I’m not built for hook-ups!
= Family =
— Do you and your family get along?
Paxton: Get along is an understatement. We’re…[pauses] We were as closely knit as they come. Well, I mean, except for Tia Patricia, but none of us liked her after she sold Mama Helena’s property and had the house demolished without telling any of us first.
Rita: Ugh, she was such a bitch. She hated me, but I never knew why.
Paxton: Probably because my entire family loved you and never spoke with her unless they absolutely had to. Also, she tried to flirt with my uncle on my Dad’s side, but Tio Hector was happily married and my aunt would have skinned Patricia alive had she known.
— Would you say you have a "messed up life"?
Paxton: [Gestures around him] No one can say that this is what they envisioned if someone asked them five years ago where they saw themselves five years from now. It’s fucked up and everyone knows it, but we’re trying our best to make the best of it.
Rita: And you’re doing a great job making this work. I know I wouldn’t be here without you.
Paxton: You know that’s bullshit.
Rita: No, I’m serious.
Paxton: Come on, you’re smart. You can fight. You can survive. I know I wouldn’t be here without you pulling us both out of some dicey situations, both with Freakers and with regular people who wanted us dead.
Rita: Yeah, but that’s just survival. You have such a sense of optimism about you and can put a positive spin on pretty much any situation. You know when to crack a joke to break the ice and when to offer a silent shoulder to vent on. I could survive fine on my own, but I wouldn’t have been able to live.
[Both are silent for a while, Paxton sliding his hand away from Rita’s and resting it against her knee, his fingers playing with the fringe of torn denim and making idle circles around her kneecap.]
Paxton: [Quietly] We’re good for the other.
Rita: [leaning towards him] Yeah, we really are.
— Have you ever run away from home?
Paxton: Once. I was five. Mamá wouldn’t let me watch my favorite show after school because the TV was “busted”.
Rita: I’m taking it that it wasn’t actually broken?
Paxton: Apparently the only station it would pick up was the one her novelas came on and even five year old me knew that was some BS. I packed a few oranges in my backpack and walked out.
Rita: Where did you think you were going?
Paxton: my grandma’s house. I got three blocks away before Javi came riding on his bicycle after me and told me I was going the wrong way. He offered me a ride on the handlebars and took me to one of his friend’s houses where I got to watch the last ten minutes of my show while their mom made us an after school snack.
— Have you ever gotten kicked out?
Paxton: You’ve met my family. They're more likely to adopt some random person on the street than kick their kids out.
Rita: Yeah, I can totally see your mom doing that.
Paxton: She told me after the first time meeting you that if I ever broke up with you, she’d disown me, so I guess that’s the closest I’ve ever been threatened with being kicked out.
Rita: Yeah, I can also see your mom doing that. [Pauses] I miss her.
Paxton: I miss her too.
= FRIENDS =
— Do you secretly hate one of your friends?
Paxton: What the hell kind of question is that? I’d never hate someone I consider a friend, that’s just stupid.
— Who is your best friend?
Paxton: You.
Rita: Aww. [scoots closer on the desk towards him] You’re my best friend too.
Paxton: You know that we’re probably that annoying cute couple nobody can stand here at camp, right?
Rita: Yeah, but I don’t give a shit. Do you?
Paxton: Nope. Besides, who else has twenty years of experience in public works water systems, is a damn fine mechanic, and brings back the most stuff as a team on supply runs?
Rita: Exactly.
— Who knows everything about you?
Paxton: I mean, nobody knows my full name but you, babe. I don’t just go giving out that information to anyone.
Rita: That’s weirdly sweet and adorable. [teasingly] Just like you.
Paxton: Is the interview over? I do have some mending that I need to get back to.
Rita: Forgive me for distracting you from the all-important task of mending your underwear. Continue.
Paxton: Thank you. And for your information, they’re your underwear.
Rita: Ah. Well, in that case, definitely continue. [holding up the magazine, she flips to the last few pages] Ah ha! They still have this! While you mend my chones, let me tell you what sort of month you had in… [flips back to the cover of the magazine before turning back to her marked page] August of 2016.
Paxton: [sighing theatrically] And here I thought I escaped the regular teen magazine horoscope readings.
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Part 6 of Love, Change, and Machines
Nothing worse than health
Tachanka’s POV
I woke first, probably to the sun streaming right into my eyes, and instead of walking Maxim I decided to watch as the hunter slowly inhaled then exhaled. I couldn't believe how peaceful my partner looked while sleeping and I was overcome with attraction, so I lightly kissed my partner's forehead and started slowly swirling the hunter’s dark brown hair with my calloused fingers. I don’t know how I feel about Max; I know he’s my best friend but I couldn’t tell if there was anything more than that. Do friends sleep in the same bed to comfort each other? If they did I’d never had another friendship like that, but then again Maxim wasn’t like everyone else. Besides I had never found myself attracted to men, and you can’t just completely change your mind like that; can you? I haven’t even given my female teammates a single thought, not a single glance or flit; maybe I’m just bored with them.
Whatever our relationship is, I’m genuinely worried about Maxim. I’ve never seen the hunter breakdown like that and it breaks my heart that all this is happening even with my presence. All I wanted more than anything was for Maxim to be safe; I’d even risk my own life for it. And no matter what protest he puts up today I am taking him to Doc. There's got to be something Gustave can do, give Maxim some pill, take a scan, anything. Maxim stirred in my arms and slightly opened his eyes and looked at me,
“Good morning- . . любовь” I couldn’t decide on calling him princess or love, but I took the courageous option.
“Good Morning, Sasha” Maxim’s face was still partly trapped in the ice of sleep but the warmth of my body hugged at the corners of his face.
“As much as I don’t want to get up; we need to see Doc today.” I wanted more than anything to lay here with Maxim forever, but I made myself and him a promise last night,
“But it's sooooooo early. I bet Doc is still asleep” Maxim whined as he pulled closer to me,
I reached up and grabbed my phone to check the time, while Maxim clang to my body,
“Its 12:33, if Doc isn’t awake then he’s either dead or missing” I was grinning at Maxim who was not as happy to be forced awake,
“Sasha~” Maxim was whining now,
“I didn’t know you liked this that much princess” I knew how to play Maxim like a fiddle and this was the perfect way to get Maxim up,
“Fine, but I’m showering first and you can't stop that” Maxim said slowly lifting himself off of his companion, instantly missing the warmth,
“Mind if I join” I teased with a loud laugh while Max shot daggers at him
“In your dreams old man.”
Third Person POV
Alexsandr pulled Maxim closer as they walked to the infirmary; he noticed Maxim was struggling to keep up and was slightly swaying. So naturally he scooped up Maxim,
“Sasha! What the hell! I can walk just fine!” Maxim was shocked
“I’m carrying you to the infirmary; I’m not going to let you fall” Alexsandr was stirn in his judgment,
“Whatever, just don’t break your back old man” Maxim teased trying to hide his embarrassment until they finally reached the infirmary,
“Doc, are you here?” Alex announced
“Yes! What seems to be yo-” Doc paused when he saw the older russian carrying Maxim,
“Is everything alright, Kapkan, can you walk?”
“Yes, Alexsandr just refused to let me walk here” Maxim dryly stated,
“Please princess, you could barely walk” Alex said this while laughing as he set Maxim down. This led to him slightly wobbling as he gained his footing.,
“Well what seems to be the issue today” Doc was back to being clinical, while he led Kapkan to a bed.
“Uhh well I’ve been having trouble remembering things, my balance has been off, I’ve been irritable.” Kapkan was too embarrassed to look Doc in the eyes so he decided to stare at his knees. He rarely finds himself in the infirmary; the only times he's been here was because his teammates forced him to after an injury slowly became worse.
“You’re forgetting something” Tachanka added, staring at Kapkan,
“-right i-I’ve been having nightmares, pretty bad ones. I’ve barely been getting any sleep, uhh the only way i can sleep is with- uh Alexsandr.” Kapkan could feel the heat rising from the rest of his body to his cheeks.
“Have you two been having intercourse?” Doc’s question was clinical with its precision and Kapkan knew he was just doing his job. He and Tachanka both looked at each other and simultaneously yelled,
“No!”
“We’re just friends” Kapkan added
It slightly singed both of their hearts to hear the other react this way,
“How long have you been having these issues” Doc asked,
“Since my seizure” Kapkan was annoyed that he replied like this, he just wanted to finally be healthy again, stop relying on so many people.
“I’ll order a CT scan and a MRI” Doc answered this while writing something down, and began to walk out,
“Please change into a gown and stay seated” Doc ordered while pointing at the gowns before walking out.
“Can you look away while I change, please” Kapkan asked Tachanka for this decency,
“Are you sure you don’t want me to watch, princess?” Tachanka teased,
“Sasha please” Maxim asked trying not to beg
“Alright, I was only half joking,” Alexsandr conceded. He could hear the rustling of Maxim’s clothes as he changed; he wanted to look, to see all of the lines of his body, his muscles, the way his toned chest moved as he breathed, his legs, his thighs. . . Alexsandr was thankfully pulled from his manic thoughts, full of desire,
“I’m decent, you can look” Maxim announced and Alexsandr turned around and saw Maxim in the gown; he would be lying if, combined with Maxim’s blushing, he said Maxim wasn’t adorable.
“You look so nice~” Alexsandr partially teased,
“Shut it old man” Maxim yelled before covering himself in the bed’s blanket. Soon after this Doc reentered the room,
“Good you’re dressed. Now, Maxim, follow me and Alexsandr you can sit here until the tests are finished”
“Wait, I can't go with Maxim?” Alexsandr asked
“No, we can’t have anyone else in the room during the MRI” Doc explained. Alexsandr gave Maxim a concerned look,
“I’ll be fine, обещаю” The use of their mother tongue gave Alexsandr the confidence he needed to let Maxim go.
Maxim was cold from the small amount of protection by the gown. First was the MRI, then the CT scan. The tests weren’t bad but he hated the feeling of a machine seeing more than he could, it reminded him of something; he didn’t bother delving on the thoughts without Alexsandr. More than anything he missed Tachanka, he missed his warmth.
“It will take some time to analyze the tests, you will get the results back in some time. You are to stay here until they come back” Doc was looking at both of the Russians as he said the last sentence, and then he was gone.
“Come here” Maxim was already in the infirmary bed and he reached out a hand to Alex,
“I was wondering how long it would be before you asked” Alexsandr grinned
“Whatever you know you want to” Maxim wasn’t wrong in his assumption as Alexsandr grabbed Maxim’s hand and pulled himself onto the bed, scooping Maxim up into his arms. It was against Maxim’s nature to be so vulnerable and let someone take control of him, but when Alexsandr did it he never felt controlled, he just felt safe. Alexsandr’s chin rested on Maxim’s head,
“I was surprised by how quickly you asked for me” Alex teased, a small chuckle vibrating through Maxim,
“Oh so you don’t want to lay with me-” Maxim began to push off of Alexsandr jokingly but the older Russian pulled Maxim back to him aggressively, but lovingly
“Sasha~” Maxim yelped. Doc entered stopped in his tracks then continued,
“I’m assuming I’m interrupting but I have news”
Maxim and Alexsandr were still holding each other but slightly sat upwards,
“Usually I would recommend you to separate, but I think this can slide” Doc spoke with his usual clinical clarity, but his eyes were clouded in worry.
“Gustave, you’re scaring please just tell us” Of course Sasha would speak first and of course he was right
“Of course.” Doc pulled up the scan of Maxim’s brain, and while Maxim and Alexsandr didn’t know what to look for they could tell something was wrong,
“It, -it appears you’ve suffered from two i-ischemic strokes, one in your frontal lobe and the second in your hypothalamus” It took a minute for Alex and maxim to fully understand what they just heard,
“I-i . . i h- have a stroke” Kapkan mumbled out “a- a Am I dying?”
“Short answer, I don’t think so. Long answer, I don’t know” Doc explained, “I’ve never seen something like this; it's not like your brain is dying, it’s just not working with the rest. I can’t seem to find where the blood clot could be. Starting now you are on medical leave, no training, no missions, nothing that might worsen your condition”
Kapkan couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “what the fuck? Are you kidding me?”
“Maxim-”
“Don’t ‘Maxim’ me Alexsandr-”
“The two of you stop! My decision is final. Now I will give you time to process this.” Doc walked out immediately after this.
Alexsandr aggressively pulled Maxim in, they were both shaking slightly,
“Alex, I don’t want to d-
”I can’t lose you Maxim” Alexsandr could feel the mania in his eyes, he never thought he’d lose Maxim. They cheat death everyday,
“Maxim, I can’t lose you!” He pulled Maxim’s head from his chest and held eye contact while holding his face. They stared into each other’s eyes and the usual desire washed over the two of them, but this time they didn’t pull back. Alexsandr made the first move, crashing his lips into Maxim’s, like the ocean meeting the sand. Alex pulled back,
“I’m sorry I don-”
“Sasha” Was all Maxim could manage before pushing himself back onto Alexsandr’s lips, they held the as for as long as they could before they came up for air,
“So what are we?” Maxim asked this so softly it made Alex blush,
“We’re whatever you want to be, Maxim.”
#rainbow six siege#rehoboam#r6s#r6s kapkan#r6s tachanka#fanfic#long reads#lgbtq#alexsandr senaviev#maxim basuda
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Thank you for sending messages to people who reblog your ttrpg ask game! I really appreciated it. ♥ Here are some questions for you, for Meliora: 14, 29, 34
Thank you so much!! 🥺❤️ I love hearing about everyone’s characters! (And also I keep asking everyone question 8 so I know who’s open to Fanart lol; I’ve been having kind of ✨A Hard Time✨ lately so I haven’t gotten to it- mainly just drawing comfort characters from my group lol; currently painting my party’s Barbarian Yevelda because I love her so much. That said, I’m thinking about using people’s DnD Characters as warm-up sketches when I get out of this funk. I like making people happy ☺️)
Okay this is going to get long because I could go on and on forever about Mel, so I’m putting it under a readmore!
14: Are there any Secrets to their backstory you know, but they don’t know yet?
This is actually a pretty interesting question in our campaign! The truth is, I’m not entirely certain! I specifically made certain elements of Mel’s backstory flexible because our DM thrives on taking advantage of uncertainties in backstories, and I love that.
Meliora was raised very happily in a commune made up primarily of Tieflings, but also other half-monstrous people(tying back to my headcanon that Tieflings are serial adopters, given that canonically they have a tendency to be abandoned by human parents). Her mother told her that her father was a nobleman who she had worked as a servant for, who was very pleased to find out that their (consensual)affair had produced a child. Mel’s biological father was delighted by the idea of having a little “Demon Princess” to parade about, and had all sorts of dresses and fine things made for her. Mel’s mom was horrified by the idea of her daughter being treated as a doll or an exotic pet, so shortly after Mel was born, she escaped with the infant.
Mel has absolutely no idea if this story is true, and she doesn’t particularly care. Blood Lineage is not important at all in the culture she grew up in, so she couldn’t care less about her biological father. Given that she was raised in an enormous familial setting by people who love her, she doesn’t suffer at all not knowing him; nor does she care to meet him.
That said!! I specifically told my DM that Mel doesn’t know if any of the stuff her mother told her is true; or even if her mother is her biological mother at all, so our DM has free reign to alter Mel’s parentage. It’s worth noting that since our campaign is a hybrid DnD/Vampire: The Masquerade campaign, there are whole other mechanics around demons.
I have a theory that Mel may not actually be a Tiefling at all, or that her infernal blood is a little thicker than she knows, since our DM can be sneaky wording things. He’s officially classed MELIORA as a demon, but didn’t explicitly state that about Insouciance, my brother’s Tiefling PC(not from Mel’s commune). Given that Tieflings aren’t generally considered Demons by DnD mechanics, I’m awfully curious as to what’s going to happen; ESPECIALLY since Mel forged a pact and a friendship with a Disgraced Former General of Hell, after the DM described Mel having a hazy memory of his deeds as a Demonic General and his legendary disgrace. Mordekhesh(the former general) revealed that since Mel was born mortal(and he was specifically talking to Mel; but at the time I assumed he was talking about Tieflings in general) she has a freedom of Will that Mordekhesh, and most demons in general, don’t. The Pact prevents Mordekhesh(who had previously been an enemy intended to be a BBEG) from harming or conspiring to harm Mel, her friends, and her family; in exchange for assurance that Mel will not invade his mind again(she had gone into his mind with Dissonant Whispers, and learned that his biggest insecurity was the disposable nature of being a Demonic Assassin for Hire), and that Mel will do all in her power to help him become mortal and no longer be able to be summoned and bound to someone else’s will. (I do have an idea of how to accomplish this given an arc Mel is currently having studying VTM thaumaturgy under Trevor, an NPC who’s mastered the discipline. Mel hasn’t progressed enough on that skill for me to give her the idea yet though lol; so far she’s just being very good to Mordekhesh. He’s bound to her will, so she makes certain to phrase any requests she makes or invitations-she does see him as a friend- as optional. She knows it isn’t really enough, but at least Mordekhesh can feel comfortable that she’s got no intention of abusing their Pact.)
29: What’s the best thing they’ve ever done? How do they feel about it?
This is a hard one, she’s done or spearheaded a few big-deal things that ended up helping people(including befriending Mordekhesh), but I think I’ll go with the most recent thing because it has laid the groundwork for where I want to take Mel’s character moving forward.
This requires some background information about our campaign. Due to being a Dnd/VTM campaign, we started in Waterdeep, and long story short our Dimensional Traveller Vampire Mentor, Blake, accidentally ended up leading to us getting transported to Earth; specifically Chicago where his caravan is based(based out of a huge building called “the compound”, circled with a lot of vans/RVs, because MANY people in Blake’s caravan are Ravnos Vampires, who can’t sleep in the same place too many nights in a row without risking damage, since they’re compelled to wander). Blake’s human niece, Cassie, 17 years old and unofficial leader to the kids in the Compoud, ended up getting kidnapped(by her father, Blake’s brother Eshtol, who we did not know was her father at the time), and made into a Vampire. We never did get to learn why she ended up attacking Blake the next time we saw her after having believed she was dead. Blake had instructed Trevor to perform a Thaumaturgic Ritual on Queue that Trevor himself was unfamiliar with, and long story short, the spell ended up destroying Blake and Cassie’s bodies. Trevor thought he’d killed them(which is a HUGE deal considering VTM Vampires experience “Final Death”), but it turns out their essences had just gone into their instruments(Cassie’s Violin and Blake’s Base Guitar, which he has the “Obsession” flaw mechanic over).
Insouciance had tried to pick up Blake’s Base in the aftermath, and Blake’s soul was sucked into his body, rendering him Half-Possessed. Over time, Blake tried to tell Insouciance that he NEEDED to be removed from him, but Insouciance forced Blake’s soul down, because Blake’s obsession trait had leaked into Insouciance’s soul, and he know he would have to return The Base to Blake if Blake got a new body. Turns out though, Blake wanted out of Insouciance because Blake’s Vampiric Soul was CONSUMING Insouciance’s soul, since our DM says that a Vampire’s soul is tattered, and always wants to be whole again. Blake couldn’t stop this without being removed. When the party found out what Insouciance was doing, Yevelda(Barbarian) knocked Insouciance unconscious, so Mel could perform Spiritual Surgery to separate Blake and Insouciance’s souls, preferably without killing either of them.
Mel has a custom power called “Spiritual Facilitation”, which typically she uses to guide ghosts into special dolls she hand-crafts to give them Physical Bodies with which to more easily complete their Earthly Business, so, they can properly pass on. She used this power to perform the surgery, which was essentially Conjoined Twin separation surgery for their souls.
As she did that, Trevor sliced into Insouciance, revealing that his body had been producing extra bones, blood, and tissues to accommodate Blake’s soul. He removed the extra pieces, and used his thaumaturgy to form them into a new body for Mel to put Blake’s soul into. Mel paid close attention to what he was doing, because she hoped to apply his technique to her Vessel Dolls to make them better; Trevor actually noticed this, and slowed down, explained his process in detail to her. He’s officially training her in Thaumaturgy now.
I consider it the best thing she’s done, because not only did she save Blake and Insouciance’s lives, she also gave Trevor more faith in himself and his power as a force for good. Trevor is a Ravnos Vampire; naturally he should not be able to learn Thaumaturgy, but a long time ago he committed Diablerie(consuming another vampire’s essence in entirety) and gained the power(we have no idea yet the circumstances behind that, and I for one cannot wait. I’m so excited); at the cost of being completely exiled from Vampiric Society-his cousin, Blake, being the only one willing to take him in. Trevor mastered his Thaumaturgy, and uses it as much as possible, but is fully aware that it’s a brand of his sins, and he is HEAVILY reviled for it. Meliora; who had previously hated him over a misunderstanding, and had the respect to apologize to him when she learned the truth; watching him work and finding worth in his magic as a tool for healing, helped show Trevor that he CAN be good. (Trevor suffers from a lot of self-loathing, and everyone except for Mel and Blake either dislikes or outright hates him. A party member once asked him “Why are you worthless?” after he thought he killed Blake and Cassie, And he AGREED with them. It is special to me that Mel is helping him feel like a worthwhile person again.)
How SHE feels about it: She felt absolutely Euphoric about it, since her Spiritual Facilitation was a magic she developed herself(she’s a Spirit Bard-Necromancy Wizard Multiclass, and VTM rules allow us more customization) and she used it to save her friend and her mentor(Blake is family to her, she has great respect for him). She is a bit oblivious about how important it was to Trevor, but she is thrilled that he’s decided to take her under his wing in the discipline of Thaumaturgy. They got off to a rocky start, and she felt extremely guilty for having hated him(she unconsciously associated him with a trauma that happened that she felt he could have prevented, but we learned later that he only stayed out of the fight because the people fighting each other were BOTH his family, and he refuses to fight them. Mel understands that well, since family is very important to her); she didn’t think her apology meant much to him, but in reality it was touching to him that someone bothered apologizing to HIM at all, especially since he hadn’t actually been aware that she hated him so much, since she was still kind to him when she DID have to interact with him. They’ve been friendly toward each other since the Apology, but Trevor reaching out to offer to train her in Thaumaturgy(when early on he used to mock her because the DND Cantrip of Thaumaturgy that tieflings are born with is NOTHING compared to what he can do), means a lot to her because it’s confirmation that he DOES see her as an actual friend. There aren’t any hard feelings left over from their misunderstanding.
I could write so much about Trevor omg, these questions weren’t about him, I know, but he’s my absolute favorite NPC and he’s just so fascinating; especially with how his original creator(former DM of our DM) came up with him.
34: What’s their biggest flaw?
Mel doesn’t believe in Good or Evil. This doesn’t sound like a flaw initially, but in a Game System where Good and Evil are very much instrinsic magical concepts, this belief makes her a bit naive.
For example, she’s done things like Befriending Mordekhesh(who leveled Waterdeep in his first attempt to kill us. Don’t worry, we had turned the Dragon Vault into an under city, and successfully evacuated most of Waterdeep’s people underground), sending her condolences and reaching out to Eshtol after Trevor informed us that Cassie is Eshtol’s daughter(after Cassie and Blake’s bodies were destroyed), tricking a Chimera into thinking we were worshipping it so that we didn’t have to harm it(and arranging people to continue “worshipping” it with food and gifts after we ended up on Earth, because she didn’t want it to feel abandoned), and I live in fear of Trevor or Blake turning out to be a bad guy, since Mel trusts them implicitly lol.
One of these days, I suspect Mel’s luck will run out, and some evil character will take advantage of her nature to achieve a terrible goal, and Mel will be forced to shoulder the weight of her mistake. It’s worth noting that we have two Evil party members who joined later in the campaign(Laucian, who’s PLAYER joined us after the events of Dragonheist; and Anec Su, my Partner’s new PC after his original ceased to be). They both have ulterior motives, and both have reason to want to manipulate Mel. Now, Mel DISLIKES Laucian, because he’s the one who called Trevor Worthless, and he wants to EAT Mordekhesh lol, but I’m excited to see how he attempts to turn that around(I should note that Laucian is a VERY well played evil bastard. The guy who plays him is actually a cool person. He doesn’t just play Laucian as evil for the sake of being a prick, when he does awful things it feels natural for the character in a very narratively enriching way).
Anec Su is a bigger danger to Mel, because she is newly introduced and Mel has nothing against her. Unbeknownst to Mel, Anec Su is a cleric to the God her lover(my Partner’s original character, Balasar) became when he accidentally merged with his father, Dourgothoth, the Creeping Death. Mel HATES Sibuna(the new god-dark Balance God), because she feels his existence took Balasar from her. Anec Su has a Dual Alignment, being Lawful Evil during the day, and Chaotic Good at night. Her Good side hates Meliora, because Mel “Consorts with Demons”-in reference to her Pact with Mordekhesh, but her Evil side has plans for Mel that I’m currently unaware of; since Mel is a Holy Figure(unwillingly) in the Sibuna Cult, due to having been Balasar’s Lover.
Bonus: Picture of Mel so you can put a face to the name, for those who haven’t seen her before; also an excuse to show off my art more lol
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#ask tag#my art#ttrpg asks#THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING#I could talk for hours and hours about Mel and this campaign lol#I love her so much#if you’re wondering why she looks so sad in the picture#that’s the one I drew after the session where we lost Balasar#Meliora OC
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Newsletter #15: January 2024
Dear RNAs,
Is it too late for me to wish you a happy new year? 2023 has been a wild ride for (you and) me because a lot of things happened. Here’s a quick recap before we totally move on to the next year!
2023 RECAP
I don’t even know where to begin. All I know is that 2023 was a fruitful year for me as a creative. I was able to share with you six new stories of love, friendships, and life.
Last year, it was finally time for me to share some secrets with you through the story of Erica and Trey in Secrets We Can’t Keep. After finding out their big secret, we continued to solve some problems that Lara and Alvin we’re having in Problems We Can’t Solve. Later on, we joined Margaux and Cash in finding out whether they were able to reach their dreams in Dreams We Can’t Reach.
This was also the year wherein we slowed down and enjoyed the mundane things in life like commuting. We enjoyed the ride as we commuted to Project Fate with Tanya and Tep. We also learned the basics of commuting in Commuting for Dummies with Isaac and Clara. Lastly, we enjoyed every Crush Hour despite the heavy traffic with George and Bridgit.
Aside from these, I attempted to write a ficlet per week this 2023 but I wasn’t able to finish this challenge. However, it produced 24 ficlets. I’ve written additional two ficlets for Inkspired Inktober, which is another writing challenge that I haven’t finished.
My goal last year was to be consistent in my story updates, which I was able to accomplish since I have updated every Monday last 2023. It became a routine for me to post something new in Wattpad.
I was given the opportunity to be a part of Miss Yennie’s (halfbakedwriter) Writer Tell-All Space as a guest writer. It was a joy for me to share my thoughts and journey as a writer with my fellow creatives. At the same time, it’s a privilege for me to receive some wisdom they have acquired through the years of writing experience they had.
But 2023 does not stop there. This was also the year where new opportunities opened for me. I never imagined myself to be able to publish a book last year but KPub PH allowed that dream I once had when I was a child to come true in the form of Ardor, a collection of short stories about love. Unbelievable! I cannot believe I had my first book signing event last year. What a miracle it has been!
This 2023, our family has grown to 669 followers in Wattpad. And finally, here’s a quick recap to show the growth of my stories. Thank you to everyone who has read (and read again) and supported my stories in many ways. I don’t think I say this enough but know that I read every comment and message you send.
2024 WRITING GOALS
As I have promised since the beginning, I will continue to share stories to the world as long as I have stories to tell. This 2024, my desire is to continue to write stories that would bring life to those who would consume it. Content all over the Internet may not always be good, but as a creative, I want to put out content that would inspire you, make you think critically, educate you about things you may not know yet, or simply just make you feel things.
As a creative, I admit that I also have comfort zones. There may be themes that I simply am afraid to explore because I doubt my audience would enjoy such things. This year, I’m looking forward to stepping out of my comfort zones by exploring new themes to write, expanding my creative platforms outside of Wattpad, and making myself a little bit more vulnerable to my readers to show that I am a human as well.
Last year was all about consistency because I wanted to prove to myself (and maybe to my readers) that I could post regularly. I may have been successful in one way but I also had to learn the rhythm of creating and resting. If I hustled every single time, I’m afraid I would end up in a creative burnout and it’s the last thing that I want to happen to me. That’s why I’m hoping to find the right rhythm for me between creating and resting. I hope that you do the same. Rest is a precious gift. Please find time for it.
Lastly, I know that I wouldn’t be where I am right now without the readers who kept on supporting every little thing that I put out there online. I believe that there’s a human behind every user that I interact with. You, guys, have a story to tell too! And if you’ll let me, I want to know your stories as well. Aside from the group chat and channels I have in Telegram, I really want to have conversations with you.
WRITING PROJECTS
Before I end this newsletter, let me update you about my writing projects this year. Currently, I’m writing five works-in-progress: 1) License to Lab, 2) Ana & Tomi Part One, 3) Pitik Mata, 4) Bad for the Heart, and 5) NLEX: Ang Huling Biyahe.
License to Lab is the fifth installment of MedTech on Duty. It features a medical laboratory technician who has failed his board exams thrice and tries to take it once again. I’ve been writing this since 2022 and I’m working to finish this already because I want to share this story already. But yes, I’m taking my sweet, sweet time to write this one because I don’t really want to compromise the message that I want to tell for the sake of publishing it immediately. Instead, here’s a little quote that I’m offering for now:
“Is it even possible for hope to be transmitted by just staring into the eyes of the person who believes in you the most?”
Ana & Tomi Part One is the first installment of MedTech on Duty. It narrates the college misadventures of the titular characters—Ana and Tomi. I’m exploring themes of platonic soulmates and found family here, so this should be exciting! This story also allows me to reminisce about my undergraduate years in Medical Technology.
“But what if during the bad times, I don’t even have a single person I can run to? Can’t I really survive college alone?”
For my love of novelette trilogies, I started writing Pitik Mata, which is a three-part series that features a trio of friends who go on a venture of rediscovering their passion in photography. I will be pouring a lot of the things I love in this WIP, such as photography, creatives, and trio friendships.
“Ano kaya ang nakikita niya sa lente ng camera niya? Nakikita niya kaya kung paano ko siya tingnan?”
For those who loved You Make Me Sick, I’m sure this WIP will excite you. Bad for the Heart is written in the same universe as YMMS, focusing on the things that may be dangerous for the heart. We’re going to talk about the heart a lot here.
“It’s fascinating how the heart may be the strongest yet the most fragile organ of the body. From the moment you are formed in your mother’s womb up to your final breath, your heart beats so you would live. It never takes a break. For if it does, you will die.”
Lastly, we’re going on a road trip to NLEX: Ang Huling Biyahe with my new beloved quad! This focuses on four friends who love a good road trip away from the busy city but need to part ways at the end.
“And that was her little assurance. That despite every change and transition that is happening in their lives, they will always have NLEX. They will always come back to the place where it all began.”
That’s a total of five WIPs, but please understand that I won’t be able to publish immediately since I’m currently studying for my board exams. Writing stories will forever be precious in my heart but it is also a part of my dream to work in the laboratory. I may not be as active as before, but I will try to come back every now and then to check up on everyone. Until then, I’m going to write offline for a while. If you want to be updated about my progress, you may join my Telegram channel and check my WIP threads.
Here’s a question for you: Among my WIPs, which of these are you looking forward to reading?
Hanggang sa susunod na kwento.
nagkukwento,
AM
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english is not my first language but i'm going to try my best here
hi, i need some advice on something that has become really bittersweet: my relationship with my boyfriend
i met him in 2020 at school and we started dating in july of 2021, since then things would start to get kind of weird: my bf would start to curse me and call me names if i didn't answer him quickly, he would joke about being with other girls while dating me, he would make me uncomfortable talking about how badly he wants to fuck me (i'm a minor and he is not btw) and he would even start fights on purpose.
after our fights he would drug himself with remedies and then tell me that he "couldn't be sober to deal with me after a fight" and blather about how everything that happened was my fault: that i stressed him, that i'm annoying or that i'm just really stupid. in all of this fights i had severe anxiety crisis, and after all of them i couldn't eat properly, my body always felt really heavy and tired
today we fought again because i will not be able to go out with him tomorrow because i already have plans with my family: he said that he is sad bcs i don't "want to go out of him" and that i "don't love him anymore"
i'm starting to get tired of this, he always freaks out with me because of some irrelevant shit like taking 15min to answer him and makes me feel bad for it. i don't know what to do anymore bcs i hate feeling like this, im always afraid of saying or acting someway and getting him mad at me
Hey there,
If I’m being completely honest the relationship that you are currently in with him sounds to be quite toxic and is causing you more anxiety being in it as compared to a normal healthy relationship where both people are happy, content and feeling like they are both equals in the relationship.
I’m assuming that you haven’t yet sat him down to talk to him about how you are left feeling most of the time but I am also wondering if this will be helpful or not given what you have already said about him. I am not saying that he is a bad person, but more that it may be difficult to be in a relationship with him and be happy like you so greatly deserve. Being with an older man is also a bit of a concern with you being a minor and all, but of course I cannot tell you what to do.
How do you feel generally being with him? Are there any times that you are both happy, or do the fights outweigh the good times? Either way, I think you deserve the very best in life and this includes being in a relationship with someone who you really like and who likes you back and most importantly will treat you well!
It’s certainly not OK the way this guy is treating you but in the end the decision is up to you in regards to whether you want to stay in the relationship or end it. Ending the relationship doesn’t mean you have to completely take him out of your life, you can still be friends if you wish/ keep in contact, in the end ultimately the decision is up to you.
I really hope that this has helped a bit and has helped you to see that you deserve so much better when in a relationship with anyone, whether it’s with a boy or in a friendship with someone. Please also do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!
I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!
Take care,
Lauren
#mha-lauren#advice#advice blog#mental health advice#anonymous#boy#relationship#toxic relationship#minor
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