#but I’m just so tired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

broflovski-brah · 2 years

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This is going to be a vent post. Read at your own cost.

TW: Suicidal thoughts, self harm, body dysmorphia and insecurities

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for me. I keep trying to get better, I really do. I’ve promised myself that I wouldn’t cut again and I broke that. I broke it and it’s all my fault. I’ve been under so much stress lately at home and this has been my only escape. I don’t know what to do.

I had a vivid dream of my grandpa coming back. He came back and he did what he used to do. Slap my butt and just make weird comments about my body. I hate my body. I hate it. I hate having thick thighs. I hate having a visible chest. I hate how I look. I wish that I were thinner.

I feel so lonely. I know I have people around me, but its a differebt feeling. I can’t descrive it, but everything feels so dark. I just feel like I’m missing something in my life. Everything is going by so fast and I’m still being left behind. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I really want to be held right now. I want to be hugged and I want someone to stay with me. I want someone to reassure me that I mean something. I want to listen to someone’s heartbeat as they remind me that I’m not a bad person. I want to be held while I cry. I just want someone in ny life who would do this for me. I just want to be better.

i wish i could go to another world where I wasnt me. if i wasnt me then maybe people would like me more in real life. it feels like i cant be me because im going to dissapoint poeple. I have to fit into a perfect mold for people and it just feels awful.

I can’t sleep

I can’t eat

It feels like I can’t do anything anymore.

I’m so tired and I want to fucking die.

Ive had past attempts and sometimes i wish they worked.

#I’m sorry #i know I just got here #I don’t have the right to be venting already #but I’m just so tired #i really need to get this off my chest #I feel so bad doing this right now #because ppl are gonna think I’m seeking attention #but I’m not #I just really need to talk about this #delete later #vent

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anonymous-depressed-figure · 2 years

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Venting in the tags, let me know if I should add any other tws

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urmumhaha · 2 months

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I wish butch n femme balls existed. Not to b a fucking sap n a massive dyke but wow. Ugh even. Just wanna wear a gown n stilettos n have my honey greet me w a bouquet before we leave n we wear matching or complimentary jewelry n spend hours on my hair and makeup to impress. N then when we get there my honey will spin me around the room for a brief dance before grabbing something to drink, wine for me n whiskey for her, as we chat w other dykes n celebrate butchfemmeness. Or whatever

#thinkin thots #sorry everyone I’m tired n a lil high after work n feeling DRAB so we r imagining #n listen I know balls r just a flaunting wrath bourgeois thing #wealth #this is just a simple indulgence for the Eve #lesbian #i #femme lesbian #butch/femme #butch lesbian #womp womp

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sailordream · 5 months

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it’s just all so exhausting and upsetting

#it’ll pass I know it’ll pass #and hopefully it’ll be better afterwards #but I’m just so tired

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red-akara · 6 months

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I’m so angry. And I’m so tired. When will it be my time?

#corporate’s making a lot of frustrating disappointing and confusing decisions lately #financial anxiety is ever present #my living situation continues to suck #I try to remember to be grateful #it could be a lot worse #but I’m just so tired #why does anyone have to live like this?

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cherrysnax · 7 months

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I hate having to grovel and put all of our info out there just so we can eat yknow

#I want to work #I want my body to work #but I’m just so tired #I want to go to the hospital but I can’t #to the doctor to the gyn to take the cats to the vet but I can’t #I’m so tired #I hate the life im living and I want a new one #I hope that reincarnation exists bro I hate that I was born into this shit

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canisonicscrewyou · 1 year

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#if your regular sleep med of choice is Benadryl I’m afraid of you #Idek what my answer is though??? probably melatonin. it helps a lot when I need to fix my sleep schedule #sleep soundly <3333 #I also sometimes take ashwaganda if it’s not too expensive or is mixed w other stuff. and drink sleepy teas but not necessarily JUST tosleep #I was on olanzapine and that helped my sleep a lot (at the cost of eventually making me feel so so tired during the day)#anyways you must tell me

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leaff0dil · 1 month

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The sleepers (+wings au)

#one piece #monkey d. luffy #sabo #portgas d ace #asl brothers #one piece sabo #one piece luffy #one piece ace #i was hesitant on posting this cuz of some parts of the drawing I wanted to change #but it’s late and i’m too tired so I just ball with it

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annoyinglibra · 9 months

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#poll #nobody is going to see it bc my followers are so inactive here but I’m just curious 😔#via the notes I’m learning that some schools had all three which is trippy to me #I should’ve included an option for all three 😔#editing notes again: I know nobody will see the edit but I didn’t think to include ‘all three’ or ‘other’ because I was sick + tired let me #liveeee 😭

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the-phantom-peach · 8 months

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Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉

[tagged as spoilers!]

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cosmo-spams · 1 year

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rambling about recovery in tags

#I’m so horribly conflicted here #cuz a bit part of my brain wants me to relapse fully #and it honestly feels like I just want attention- like genuinely #I just like- want people to care? but I Hate bugging people #it’s hard to explain #I feel like I’m always the most recovered of my friends #no matter how low I am #so I never have people trying to take care of me #(besides ry. but I hate making him do that I feel so guilty)#I kinda want to get worse? just cuz like- it feels like the only way I’ll ever get taken care of #but I know that doesn’t even work logically #I don’t get taken care of- I take care of others and tell them to not worry about me #and that’s ok- I’m an adult that’s ok #and then there’s the rest of my brain that wants to recover so badly #I want to get better- I don’t want to betray my body #(every time i restrict too low I can feel younger me like screaming or something- it hurts me)#(young me doesn’t deserve this. I know I don’t either but that’s harder to admit)#but I’m just So tired #I’m in constant battle with my brain no matter what I do #anyways- sorry long rant #just explaining where I’m at so I can get the words out of my head

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twinstxrs · 1 month

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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.

#riz gukgak #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers #riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves #gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could.#also #the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him #anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much #especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way #while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe #this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me #idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired

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queen-breha-organa · 1 year

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I want to talk a little bit about Hawai‘i, because I have been thinking a lot about my people, and our lives.

The year 2023 marks 130 years since the illegal overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom.

On January 17th 1893, American businessman used their connections and military influence to dethrone Queen Liliuokalani by threat of force.

This annexation still impacts my people 130 years later. It still hurts us, it still haunts us,

For the last 130 years my people have suffered under America’s cruelty and indifference.

Unsustainable Tourism haunts us, causing a cost of living crisis, which turns into a rise in poverty, which turns into a rise in individuals experiencing homelessness. This cost crisis disproportionately effects my people, Kānaka Maoli. We cannot even afford to live on our on land. Our ancestral home.

And in turn, tourism then provides the most jobs. This industry pushes us off our land and into poverty, and then it turns around and sells us back our culture as a walking joke.

Our very identity is turned into entertainment. Our very culture is turned into entertainment.

And many of my people have no choice but to sell their culture so they can eat, so they can survive.

We have been put in a never ending cycle of misery and cultural destruction.

In addition, Military Involvement on our islands causes repeated incidents of ecological violence, and land disputes. The military take claim to land that belongs to my people, and they spill chemicals over and over, and poison the water we drink.

My people are suffering. Our culture is suffering.

And everyday more tourists come. Everyday more land is taken to build hotels. Everyday more culture is stripped and bastardized. Everyday more land is taken for military use.

I’m so tired of living this way. I’m so tired of waking up and watching the slow and agonizing death of my people.

I want us to live. I want us to thrive.

I want my people to survive.

I want to survive.

So please read up on the current issues that face Kānaka Maoli. Please educate yourself on my people’s history and current affairs.

Speak up and speak out. Talk about unsustainable tourism, and speak up about how harmful a “vacation” to Hawai‘i can be. Talk about the overthrow of the Hawaiian Kingdom, and it’s injustice.

Hawai‘i is Hawaiians. Hawai‘i is our history. Hawai‘i is our home. Hawai‘i is the very blood that runs through our veins.

So please do not forget us, and please speak up with us.

Support Hawaiian Sovereignty. Restore Hawai‘i to Hawaiians.

Resources & Education:

#I’ve just got a lot on my mind #and I’m so tired #I’m so sick and tired #okay to reblog

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kait-bait8 · 5 months

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I will never stop thinking about the fact that the Hunger Games was canonically a drunk hypothetical. It wasn’t some great government scheme.

So many bad dystopian novels that have some crazy world building premise make it seem like some great creation from powerful minds. Some great construction. Think of City of Ember with its box or Divergent with its weird scientists(??) or The Selection with its bachelor premise, they are always “grandly designed.” Even in Catching Fire with the Quarter Quells the Games give off an air of grand planning.

But the hunger games were a HYPOTHETICAL. A crazy, extreme, what if. They were never supposed to exist. They were never supposed to be real.

Who wouldn’t drink themselves to death knowing they thought of the idea in the first place?

#it’s just SO good in ways I can’t articulate #I’m tired and words are hard #BUT IT WAS A DUMB DRUNK CONVERSATION #probably just angry ranting #but then real children killed and were killed by other real children #ugh it’s too much #the hunger games #thg #tbosas

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months

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Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry.#Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong:#“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH.#This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated.#I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them.#Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad.#When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment!#I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug.#Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends)#and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off.#I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi.#obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him.#I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

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iiflywithmeii · 16 days

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i just wanna cut everyone off and rot away in my bed

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