#but I'd just rather be known as the art kid

[teaboot]

This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

[celluloidbroomcloset]

sorry about this, it's been on my mind for a while, relating to your celebrity discourse post.

You're right in pointing out TW has been treated unfairly. He puts his foot in his mouth sometimes (there are times I just wish he wouldn't say anything or at least think it through). HOWEVER, since last year it's become extremely common to take things he says out of context and use them for rage bait clicks. And often when he does get 'criticism' its often for something he either didn't say at all or something that, while not great, has been twisted and overblown to look much worse.

What frustrates me is a lot of people seem to be doing this on purpose. It's like they're watching and waiting for him to step a toe out of line so they can rile people up on Twitter.

I don't think I need to point out a lot of white celebrities have done exactly the same or worse things than him, and don't recieve the same level of backlash.

I dont think you have to be a TW stan or even fan to acknowledge that while he's made mistakes-like literally every human- he's also being treated with more vitriol than is fair.

I'll start out by saying that I'm a veteran of Film Twitter, and I've seen some of the weirdest takes known to God or humankind, from people who purport to both critique and report on film and artists in cinema (I am no longer on Twitter). I'd trace the very weird hatred of Taika Waititi to around Jojo Rabbit, when a cadre of people very loudly proclaimed it to somehow be pro-fascist (it is not, and I'm saying that as someone who has fucking studied propaganda and Nazi-era filmmaking).

There have been other things blown out of proportion in his personal life, about which I do not believe anyone should interfere or discuss in any way because it's none of our fucking business.

My observation of him as a filmmaker and writer is that he's very intelligent, tries to be thoughtful, and also, as you say, often speaks without thinking. He has said things that I do not agree with, and will not try to defend. But many of the things he has said that gained traction on Twitter have either been taken out of context, deliberately misconstrued, or oversimplified. The biggest and least problematic example are his comments about how "no one knows who directed Casablanca," which was made in the context of how he doesn't care or expect his name to be remembered, because the art is the thing (and, TBH, I agree - I know who directed Casablanca, but a lot of people who know the film will have no fucking idea, and why should they?). I am not kidding when I say that this provoked several days of argument on Film Twitter. His most recent comments have been taken entirely out of context (no, I'm not going to start fighting about them, that's not the point). If someone disagrees with him, they should at the very least disagree about what he said, not what they pretend that he said.

Some of this is just the nature of Twitter itself, and celebrity culture. There's just not much nuance and there is an awful lot of - excuse me - dingbats who don't understand media half as well as they think they do. The other element is that there is indeed a rather nasty desire to scrutinize things that are said by...pretty much everyone who is not a straight white cisgender man, and use them as cudgels to beat those people "back into their place."

I do not know Taika Waititi. I do not pretend to know what he thinks, nor do I particularly care. I do know what I see in his art, and I appreciate a lot of it. But, yes, he is being scrutinized and jumped on in a way that a fuck lot of particularly white male filmmakers are not.

#reply #ofmd #taika waititi #i will not be fighting about this because this is not about defending him #trust me i have fought these fights and they are exhausting and i don't have the time for it

[aech1gwen]

Happy Birthday, Miles!

A short and late birthday story for Miles inspired by my recent post about Miles and Gwen. (Please forgive me for any writing errors, I have not written fanfiction for almost a year now so I might edit this out along the way as I notice any grammatic errors while rereading.)

----

In a familiar rooftop where she had met both the older Morales's, Gwen nervously paces around waiting for her boyfriend to arrive, her heart drumming a fast rhythm as she rethink this whole surprise. Yesterday evening, she had shared this idea with Mrs. Morales who of course, had wholeheartedly supported it and even thanked her for being such a caring lover for Miles. And now, she can't help be more anxious about Miles's reaction.

She knows she shouldn't pressure herself, besides who was she kidding, this is Miles Morales that she's thinking about. The sweetest and kindest man she had known her entire life, a man with the purest of heart who without hesitation would risk himself for others. Gwen knows that anything she gives him is something he'll cherish for on and on. Which is why, she wanted to give him an evening dedicated to just the both of them, an evening where they can lay under the stars and just be Miles and Gwen instead of Spider-Man and Spider-Woman.

 

---

In the early sunrise that day, Miles was woken up by the softest melody from a piano being played in his dorm. It was one he didn't recognize, a lovely lullaby of piano keys played together that he could tell was professionally and gracefully played. With how gratifying the music was, Miles had almost fallen back asleep until he realizes that he doesn't have a piano in his dorm and Ganke doesn't play one..

 

So how in the?

 

He begins sit up from his bed, carefully listening to music while slowly reaching up to the door then finally hears words, lyrics rather being sung and he had immediately recognized that comforting and gentle voice.

 

I never thought you'd be the one / To hold my heart / I never knew I'd think of you / Each time that we're apart.

Gwen? Miles peeks outside his dorm room to find his lovely girlfriend gracefully playing a massive piano (how it got there? he'll have to ask later) with her sitting down with her eyes closed but her body facing towards Miles's room. He stares in marvel at the scenery in front of him, completely awestruck with how captivating and pretty she looks playing and singing a the same time. He steps closer to her hoping to get a better hearing and look. The girl smiles in recognizing the boy's footsteps but she doesn't open her eyes yet, her fingers pressing on to the black and white keys with so much grace.

 

Each Day / I'll be the one missing your face / And all that you are / Save me / I promise I'd stay here by your side / And I know from the start.

Then as she begins to play the chorus she opens her eyes only to be greeted by a lovestruck Miles Morales, beaming at her breathtaking little concert and carefully listening to the lyrics. Their eyes met and Miles's smile grew even more as his heart beats to the slow rhythm of the piano. He hummed along with her and she continues on to sing softly whilst Miles just stares and listens. Her eyes fall back to the piano when she finally hits the last chorus. The dorm becomes a stage in the eyes of the birthday boy, he is the audience and she is the performer, the art, the star.

Miles is more focused on the lyrics and the unfamiliar song. Had Gwen recommended this to her yet? Or is it an original piece? Whatever the answer is, Miles felt that she was not merely singing for him but for everything they are.

 

When you're here I realized / I'll be the one to testify / Baby / Say that you're mine tonight.

 

Gwen had ended the song with one last key, looking back at the young man who had stars in his eyes and a gentle smile on his lips, she beams back at him chuckling at how adorable he looked. "Happy Birthday, Miles." she whispers in the most loving way imaginable.

Ignorant on his surroundings, he flinched at the shout of a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" from behind him, now noticing the other people in the room carrying a little SpiderMan cake with candles lit up. A soft laughter produces out of Gwen at Miles's reaction while he examines them all and saw that both his close friends from the Spider Society and his family had all gathered up here today to surprise him with big smiles on their faces and presents on their hands. He instantly began to burst into tears his mom runs over to embrace him whilst peppering kisses on his cheeks and forehead.

He started to thank everyone for being here with him on his birthday especially his Spider friends. Hobie comes up to him and greets him with a pat on his head, telling him that it was Gwen's idea to have everyone come over and celebrate with Miles for his 16th birthday. "I thought you'd love the idea of having them all with you on your special day," Gwen clarifies, finally standing up from the piano to stride closer to Miles, "they are important to you after all." she finishes.

Miles smiles adoringly at her while also taking in on what she's wearing now that she has stood up fully for him to admire her clothing. "Thank you so much, mi preciosa. You look very gorgeous in that dress, it suits you a lot." Miles compliments, taking Gwen in to give her a massive hug after he was done admiring her look. A moment later, they head back to the Morales's apartment and had started to celebrate. Miles glances around to see his other relatives on the rooftop with magical decorations that drove Miles to burst into tears again. They really had planned this so well. This was most definitely his best birthday yet.  

With his spider friends all dressed in casual clothes to blend in with the crowd while thel had the time of their lives, his parents and relatives coming to him to greet and blab short about how he's matured so much, his mom embarrassingly taking out baby photos of hin to show to his friends as he tries to stop her (he failed), and how Gwen had went with him to his Uncle Aaron's burial to pay respect. The sky becomes dark and his friends had decided to call it a night going back home to their dimensions.

 

Gwen had also excused herself but explained that she'll be right back to grab something from her dimension. She gives Miles a quick peck on the lips and leaves in a rush which brought in a doubtful look on Miles. While waiting for Gwen, he used his time to spend it with his parents chatting about his life as Spiderman and that even though they were terrified of the responsibility and danger, they were proud of him for trusting them and being honest with them.

And honestly, Miles was content with what he has.

After the events of what transpired, he had become more confident about himself. Sure, it did take a while to bring back into his spirit when Miguel had ruined him so badly on both his mental and physical health, but he has his loved ones who had wholeheartedly supported his decisions and everything that he is.

Of course, it also did take a period of time for him to trust his friends again. Gwen had almost.. almost fallen to her fate like the other Gwen Stacy's. Miles will never forget the day she had suddenly said goodbye and "I'm sorry." out of nowhere making Miles worried when she ran off over to the Green Goblin. Hobie had thankfully warned him about the destiny and tragic deaths of every variants of Gwen which that made him manipulate the canon events in order to save her. 

 

.....just in time..

 

When Miles finally caught her hand, he held onto her, clinging like onto her and pulling her close to his chest yet still somehow not close enough for him. He embraced her so close as if she'll really disappear if he let go, if he hadn't made it in time, she might have been. A waterfall of tears streaming down his cheeks silently hoping that she would open her eyes.

And she did. Gwen had whispered his name, opening up for Miles to see her beautiful ocean blue eyes as she looks at him in longing, causing Miles to whisper affirmations in Spanish whilst she clings into him, falling back unconscious and in tears. Mrs. Morales saw it happened right before her own eyes, the uncontrollable sobs this Spiderman (which she later finds out is her son) had displayed in horror of losing Gwen. She had offered to help which resulting to Miles turning back to her unmasked revealing his identity. But he didn't care, he was too focused on the unconscious girl in his arms.

 

Her safety became his top priority.

 

Many months of being the only spiderman had ended and he had been greeted by amazing new people he can rely on and talk to about his troubles. He had managed to break his own canon event and Gwen's. They had spoken about it in the hospital, all those pent up sentiments and feels were both let out and heard, hugs and apologies were exchange, then that was the day they had shared their first kiss... It took Gwen by surprise, but Miles had to find a way to stop Gwen's nonstop apologies for what she did and how she doesn't deserve his forgiveness so Miles did what he had always wanted to do since that day at the rooftop.

 

Of course, it may have taken the young girl by surprise but she did return the kiss with much sweetness and softness, falling into their own rhythm and setting up their own pace as they test the waters.

 

"Mi amor, let's go talk to other umm.. spider people," Mrs. Morales closes the door after she takes a peek at the happenings inside, letting her son and Gwen have their moment. "I'm sure you have some questions to ask them." Jeff agrees without hesitation and leaves to check on the others. The moment they come back, both have fallen asleep in each other's embrace, Miles never felt happier that day.

 

---

 

Half an hour had passed and Gwen hasn't come back yet. Miles tries to contact her through his watch, no response. He begins to worry, so he goes out of his room only to be met by his mom who had wanted to him to follow her back to the rooftop. "You'll see, Miles." Rio had gently replied to Miles's constant curious questions. As they got nearer, Rio steps ahead to unlock the entrance for her son to witness the shimmer in his eyes when he saw his one final surprise.

 

On the rooftop was a rows of fairylights hanging above to light up the whole rooftop. He examines more, observing the small sunflower petals scattered all over the floor and leading to a path in front of him. He hasn't noticed yet, his mom left and closed the door whilst his eyes was too busy processing this magical sight in front of him. He took in the amount of detailed decorations everywhere then brings his gaze back to the petals, that leads all the way to a makeshift blanket fort with his one and only girlfriend, sitting on the opening with that familiar delicate smile and her hair gently swaying with the breeze.

 

"Happy Birthday, Bambi." She welcomed him using the nickname she used for him since he had compared him to a baby deer. Although Gwen usually uses the nickname as a taunting joke, but she said it so softly and filled with fondness that Miles cherished the name more than ever.

 

"Gwen!" He ran into her arms resulting to them both tumbling back into the fort, lying down on the soft blankets that wraps the floor with an enormous amount of pillows. He was practically squeezing her out of bliss that Gwen couldn't help but laugh and returning the hug with much energy. A couple of instants after, he shifts away sufficiently just to give her the sweetest kiss on lips, "I don't know how you did this but I adore you even more for it." Miles whispers in astonishment, his face near to Gwen and lays their foreheads on one another, he can see the soft tinge of pink rising up from her neck to her cheeks.

 

"I'm glad but I have 1 more gift for you." Gwen murmured quietly, unhurriedly sitting up with Miles to grab her gift just right underneath a distinctive sunflower pillow with a baby deer's head in the center of the flower.

 

Miles will have to snatch that later.

 

Whatever the gift was, it was small that Gwen had suppressed it in her fist, not a single clue of what's inside. Curious, Miles peeks at Gwen and notices how her cheeks had darken into a pretty shade of pink as she seizes one of his hands and gives him—

 

A USB?

 

"It's not really much but I just thought tha— that you know—"

 

Miles darts back at Gwen, encouraging her to take her time responding even though curiousness is ingesting him up on what this gift is about. "I always noticed how much you love listening to music. So I thought that whilst Miguel starts assigning me into more missions, I wanted to explore each of those dimensions and listen to their music and also gather songs that made me think of you and songs I know you might like." Gwen describes slowly to Miles, he bobs his head and smiles then finally understands what the gift is for.. "And I also added songs I wrote about you in it so you could hear them." she looks away in embarrassment, but she couldn't see how Miles was flustered and in tears.

 

He was complimented at the understanding that Gwen paid attention to these songs and instantly thought of him or figured out that he'd enjoy them. She seized on many assignments just so she could compile this much songs for him to enjoy and listen because it's what he loves. Gwen knew how much music means to him and she collected these all just for him. It was overwhelmingly endearing of her, so precious that he gently grabbed her face and started peppering kisses in every single portion of it, causing Gwen to chuckle in shock. He never felt so lucky to have her.

 

Later that night, Miles had insisted that they both listen to each playlist of songs. Giving their thoughts and feelings about how they felt about it. And as they reached the playlist of songs that were written by his girlfriend, he requested if she could maybe sing it to him instead. Without delay, she did what he had pleaded for and he slowly fell asleep in the warmth and comfort of her voice, Gwen shortly follows suit. In the early morning hours, Rio had gently covered the blanket on both of them and took a quick picture for Miles that now served as his new phone wallpaper. Miles had downloaded the songs onto his phone and would listen to them constantly when Gwen was away, sketching every vision and meaning with a big smile on his face...

The End.

- "He draws the stars in his lover's eyes as they only appear when they're together in each other's company."

- "The melodies were sweet and bright as he was that made her adore him more than ever."

#ghost spider #across the spiderverse #ghostflower #gwiles #miles and gwen #miles x gwen #milesgwen #gwen x miles #spider gwen #atsv #miles morales #gwen stacy #they're so precious #they're in love your honor #my precious babies #I NEED THEM TO BE HAPPY #Happy Birthday Miles! #i dont know what i wrote #i need sleep

[taiistired]

TELL ME MORE ABOUT THE MEAN GILLS AU??? i am Intrigued (trademark)

jrfhrhf of course!! this au has been rotating in my mind for a week straight i am very normal about it (lie)

the mean gills au is primarily based around the mean girls musical + certain songs from the 2024 movie being used; the story revolves around the mean gills, scott and martyn (the plastics) and the bad boys (art kids) jimmy, grian, and joel

jimmy the new kid is hanging out with the bad boys when scott sees him and calls him over. grian HATES scott so he tries to get jimmy to become closer to scott so that the bad boys can take scott down, not realizing jimmy is falling a little more in love with scott every day

after jimmy falls for tango a little while later and realizes that scott had gotten with tango only so that jimmy can't have him, he reunites with the bad boys and makes plans to dethrone scott

there's b plots around martyn not feeling 'good enough' for scott (ex. what's wrong with me) and martyn and jimmy having some long-lost friendship (martyn confessing to jimmy in revenge party)

basic mean girls plot etc etc except there's two plastics except three and i'd rather be me is less grian breaking apart from jimmy (because unlike in the musical grian Did influence jimmy way more he just didn't realize it at the time) and more grian realizing that he doesn't have to always carry these old grudges; he can let go of them and be his own person without his anger to always drive him forwards

also tango is aaron. this is because i love snowbugs and also because ovi found it funny so i'm keeping it in jrjfghdfdjg

character list:

jimmy = cady

grian = janis

joel = damian

scott = regina

martyn = gretchen

tango = aaron

martyn and scott are also very insane about each other in simultaneously the best and the worst ways ever. they're madly in love. they've known each other for years. scott doesn't care about martyn. martyn could not give less of a shit about scott. they're qpps. martyn is scott's second in command. martyn doesn't care about scott's Thing with jimmy. martyn hates jimmy. they are so in love and i care about them so so much

okay mgau rant OVER jrfkjdfhh,, here's the playlist link if anyone wants it :-)

#taevi.txt #mean gills au #mgau #mean gills #scott smajor #martyn itlw #majorwood

[sunflowerabyss]

Charms of Fate: Chapter 13

Paring: Remus Lupin x Fem!Professor!Reader

Series Masterlist

Plot: Amidst the echoes of a bygone era, you return to Hogwarts years after parting ways with Hogwarts. What begins as a journey fueled by nostalgia transforms into an unexpected reunion with Remus Lupin, now a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. As the past intertwines with the present, the two former classmates navigate the complexities of grief, the resurgence of friendship, and the unwritten chapters of their shared history in this tale of rediscovery and the magic that binds them together.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of wounds and blood

___________________________________________

In the dimly lit room, tension hung thick in the air as Remus subtly motioned for you to move, and you complied, scrambling back towards the kids. His gaze locked onto the figure before him, and with a wry smile, he remarked, "Well, well, Sirius, looking rather rugged, aren't we? Finally, the flesh reflects the madness within."

Sirius, looking small and worn, retorted, "Well, you'd know all about the madness within, wouldn't you, Remus?"

Remus held Sirius's gaze for a moment before lowering his wand and extending a hand to help him up. As they embraced in a heartfelt hug, the unexpected reunion unfolded.

"Remmy..." you spoke softly.

"He's here!" Sirius shouted.

"I know," Remus replied.

"Let's kill him!"

The moment was completely shattered, hearing Sirius declare those words. Fear coursed through your veins, worried for not only for your own safety, but for the three students that held a special place in your heart.

Hermione's voice pierced through the room, full of disbelief and anger. "No! I trusted you!"

She turned to face Harry and Ron, her accusatory gaze unwavering. "He's a werewolf. That's why he's been missing classes."

Remus, now standing alongside Sirius, looked at Hermione with a mix of surprise and resignation. "How long have you known?" he inquired.

Hermione, resolute, replied, "Since Professor Snape set the essay. Professor (Y/N) only confirmed my suspicions when I asked."

Remus turned his gaze toward you, a flicker of betrayal in his eyes. Sensing his agitated, you began explaining, your voice gentle but firm, "I--I didn't want to tell her. This was just speculation before you told me. It was hard denying it, Hermione would have seen right through my excuses. Believe me Rem, I really didn't want to say anything."

Remus, seemingly understanding, grumbled a comment about Hermione being the brightest witch of her age. The room remained charged with tension as the weight of revelations settled before Sirius yelled, "Enough talk Remus! Let's kill him!"

"Wait!" Remus said sternly.

"I did my waiting!" Sirius interrupted, "Twelve years of it! In Azkaban!"

Remus looked at his old friend before shifting his gaze to the three students and the woman he loved. Taking a deep breath, he handed the wand to Sirius before muttering, "Very well. Kill him." Sirius snatched the wand from Remus.

"Remus, no! You can't, you just can't..." you trailed off, voice breaking.

"Wait one more minute," Remus said, his attention on Sirius, "Harry has the right to know why."

"I know why," Harry interjected, causing Remus to look at him. "You betrayed my parents. You're the reason they're dead." You pulled Harry close to you, hands trembling.

"No Harry, it wasn't him. Somebody did betray your parents, but it was somebody who, until quite recently, I believed to be dead!" Remus shouted.

"Who was it then?" Harry asked.

"Peter..." You mumbled, shock coursing through your body. Of course. Peter framed Sirius, but why?

"Peter Pettigrew!" Sirius shouted. "And he's in this room. Come out, come out Peter! Come out and play!"

"Expelliarmus!" a voice yelled out, knocking Remus' wand out of Sirius' hand. Everyone turned to see Snape. Your eyebrows shot up into your hair. This day can't get any weirder.

"Vengence is sweet," Snape drawled out. "How I hoped I'd be the one to catch you."

"Severus," Remus began, but quickly stopped and put his head down as Snape moved his wand over to him.

"I told Dumbledore you were helping an old friend into the castle, and now, here's the proof," Snape continued.

"Brilliant Snape," Sirius spoke up, "Once again, you put your keen and penetrating mind to the task, and as usual, come to the wrong conclusion. Now, if you'll excuse us, Remus and I have some unfinished business to attend to."

Snape thrust his wand into Sirius's neck. "I beg you," he said quietly, "give me a reason."

"Severus, don't be a fool," Remus said.

"He can't help it. It's habit by now," Sirius added.

"Sirius, just be quiet.”

"Oh, quiet yourself, Remus!" Sirius shouted.

"Oh, listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple," Snape said calmly.

"Why don't you run along and play with your chemistry set?" Sirius retorted. Snape dug his wand into Sirius' neck.

"I could do it, you know," Snape walked closer to Sirius. "But why deny the dementors? They're so longing to see you. Do I detect a flicker of fear?"

"Severus, please don't," you begged, shaking like a leaf but trying to keep your composure, "You don't know what you think you do."

Snape casts his attention to you before speaking, "I should have figured you were in on this too. Helping your little boyfriend help his murdering best friend." You recoiled at his venomous words. You could understand Snape's disdain, but also couldn't help inwardly scoff at how stupidly unreasonable he was being. Snape turned back to Sirius.

"After you," he said, trying to get Sirius to move out of the door.

"Expelliarmus!" Harry suddenly shouted, making you squeak out in surprise. It felt like slow motion, seeing Severus being flown through the air. However, you felt like you had no time to be shocked. "Tell me about Peter Pettigrew."

"He was at school with us, Harry," you stated.

"We thought he was our friend," Remus added.

"No," Harry replied stubbornly, "Pettigrew's dead. You killed him!"

"No, he didn't!" Remus argued, walking closer to Harry. "I thought so too, until you mentioned seeing Pettigrew on the map."

"The map was lying then."

"The map never lies! Pettigrew's alive! And he's right there!" Sirius said, pointing towards Ron.

"Me? He's mental..." Ron exclaimed.

"Your rat, Ron. He means your rat," you responded.

"Scabbers has been in my family for..."

"Twelve years!? Seems like a long life for a common garden rat!" Sirius said. "He's missing a toe, isn't he?"

"So what!?"

"All they could find of Pettigrew was his fin--"

"Finger!" Sirius finished speaking for Harry. "The bloody coward cut it off so everyone would think he was dead. Then he transformed into a rat."

"Show me," Harry stated simply, his wand out. Sirius grabbed at Scabbers, wrestling him out of Ron's grip. You pulled out your wand, ready to end this mystery once and for all. Grabbing him by the scruff by the neck, Sirius roughly put the rat down on a broken piano. The rat attempted to scamper away as you, Remus, and Sirius threw spells his way.

The oddly adorable rat you once knew to be Scabbers suddenly transformed into a heavyset, balding man. Shock fell upon the room and as Remus and Sirius pulled him up off the floor. Though you always had a weird feeling about Peter, your knees almost buckled under the weight of the revelation.

"Remus?" Peter began with feigned surprise, "Sirius? (Y/N)? My old friends!" he declared before attempting to make a run for it. The three of you used all of your force to push him back. Peter, like the dirty rat he truly was, scampered back in fear, looking for a way out before his eyes fell on Harry. He run up to him, putting his hands on the young boy's shoulders.

"Harry, look at you. You look so much like your father, like James," Peter said.

"Get your filthy, disgusting hands off of him!" you shouted, walking towards Peter, who hurriedly ran off to the other side of the room.

"How dare you talk about James in front of him!" Sirius added as the three of you cornered Peter behind the piano.

"You sold James and Lily to Voldemort, didn't you!?" Remus demanded.

"I didn't mean to!" Peter wailed. "The Dark Lord, you have no idea the weapons he possesses! Ask yourself, what would you have done?"

"I would have died!" you yelled, tears streaming down your face. "I would have died! You took them away from us! You're the reason they're dead. I always knew there was something wrong with you. Always sneaking off. Like a cowardly, dirty rat."

Peter quickly crawled under the piano, knocking you down in surprise. You let out a yelp as your foot caught on a wooden plank that had shifted up, rolling your ankle.

Harry quickly ran to the entrance of the door, blocking Peter. Peter once again placed his hands on Harry.

"Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed. He would spare me," Peter whispered in Harry's ear. Remus and Sirius pulled Peter off Harry.

"You should have realized Peter, that if Voldemort didn't kill you, then we would, together," Sirius said, him and Remus pointing their wand at Peter. You slowly got up, your wand at the ready as well.

"No!" Harry shouted.

"Harry," Remus began, his head hanging low, "This man is--"

"I know what he is. But we'll take him to the castle."

"Oh bless you boy," Peter wept.

"I said we'd take you to the castle. After that, the dementors can have you."

Peter whimpered.

You would have laughed at his cowardliness, had it been under different circumstances. You watched as Harry and Hermione helped Ron up, Sirius pulling Peter up roughly. Remus made his way over to you, dropping down to one knee.

"Are you all right, my love?" he asked, worry lacing his voice.

"I'm fine, I promise. Nothing a healing charm can't fix," you reply with a smile. You wave your wand, muttering an incantation. You felt instant relief. "See? All better." Remus kissed your cheek before helping Sirius haul Peter out.

You followed behind them, pressing your wand into Peter's back. You felt him stiffen under the contact. "Don't try anything, Pettigrew," you mumbled menacingly.

As you all made your way out of the hole of the Whomping Willow, you watched as Harry and Sirius stepped aside to talk, having what looked like a peaceful conversation. Hermione was tending to Ron, while you helped Remus keep an eye on Peter.

Remus and you stood side by side, watching Peter with a mixture of apprehension and hatred. The atmosphere was tense as you observed the man who had caused so much pain in your past.

"I never thought we'd see him again," Remus remarked, his eyes narrowed.

You nodded, a solemn expression on your face. "It's unsettling, to say the least." You shifted uncomfortably. "It's just so bizarre to see him here after all these years. And to think, he was right under our noses." Remus nodded, his gaze fixed on Peter.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted suddenly, pointing over at the night sky.

As if it were a bad movie, the dark clouds began to part, showing the moon. The full moon. You watched in horror as you whipped your head towards Remus, who had almost instantly started shifting. You watched his eyes turn green, his teeth grow pointy as he began moaning in pain.

"Remus!" you shouted, as you began reaching your arms out to him.

"Remus, my old friend!" Sirius shouted, coming up next to you as he took Remus into his arms. "Have you taken your potion tonight?"

Blood drained from your face. Had he really forgotten? You were always there to remind him, always there to witness him consume it before parting ways for the night. Surely, he had to have taken it. However, you soon realized he hadn't as his bones began to crack, his jacket splitting, his limbs elongating, sinews snapping as they stretched into monstrous proportions. Tufts of coarse fur erupted through the pores of his skin, accompanied by guttural growls that echoed through the air.

His face contorted, extending into a snout lined with razor-sharp teeth, while his eyes gleamed with a feral hunger. The sound of tearing flesh and popping joints filled the air as his body contended with the agonizing shift. The bones in his hands cracked, fingers lengthening into claws.

Despite Sirius's urgent cries echoing in your ears, you find yourself paralyzed, unable to tear your eyes away from the ghastly transformation unfolding before you. You watched the man you've loved for years at war with himself.

A mixture of horror and empathy grips your heart, immobilizing you as you witness Remus succumbing to the brutal grasp of lycanthropy. The grotesque spectacle leaves an indelible mark on your psyche, each agonized howl reverberating through your very soul.

A wave of sorrow sweeps over you, accompanied by a profound sense of helplessness. You long to reach out, to somehow alleviate the torment Remus endures, but the reality of his monstrous metamorphosis renders you powerless. Your chest tightens with a blend of sympathy for his suffering and a desperate desire to escape the impending danger.

As the nightmarish scene unfolds, your instincts clash with your compassion. The fear that grips you doesn't solely stem from the imminent threat of a werewolf but from the anguished recognition that the man you care about is trapped within that savage form. Though your rational mind urges you to flee, an emotional tether holds your gaze fixed on Remus, caught between the dread of what he has become and the lingering connection you feel for the man behind the monstrous facade.

"Run!" Sirius shouts. "Run!"

Finally snapping out of your haze, you watch in dread as Peter turns back into a rat, fleeing. You reason that the kids' safety is more important as you slowly move backward. Remus lets out an ominous howl before Snape appears seemingly out of nowhere. He grabs Potter by the shirt, ready to rip him a new one before hearing Remus letting out a low growl. Snape pushes the trio behind him, right before Remus swings, knocking him out of the way. You hear Hermione let out a frightened scream, the three holding each other close. You feel your legs move before realizing it, throwing yourself in front of them.

As his razor-sharp claws swipe through the air, you find yourself caught in the path of his vicious attack. The impact is swift, and a searing pain radiates across your face as you're sent sprawling to the ground.

The agony pulses through you, and the metallic taste of blood fills your mouth. Clutching your wounded face, you struggle to comprehend the sudden brutality of the encounter. The world blurs, and a mixture of fear and pain engulfs your senses. As you lie on the ground, vulnerable and wounded, the stark reality of Remus's transformation manifests in the most visceral way possible.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #older!remus lupin #older!remus lupin x reader #professor!remus lupin x reader #professor!remus lupin #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #hogwarts #jk rowling #sirius black

[twelvegrimmyplace]

Nick Grimshaw on kindness, queerness and life lessons as a grown-up.

Gay Times Honours Issue 2023

Friendly media mogul Nick Grimshaw, aka Grimmy, has done it all. He’s introduced his parents to Lady Gaga and, recently, even had tea with Harry Styles. Now, however, the former Radio 1 DJ is getting acquainted with something else – growing up. 

Getting older, no doubt, is terrifying. Carefree late nights with mates at sticky, flooded gigs are suddenly swapped for questions revolving around major milestones: partners, career, and, of course, kids. Close friends are no longer egging you on to ditch work and hangout or checking in to see if you’ve actually drank water. Instead, you’re trying to squeeze in a meetup between deadlines, dates and an ever-growing to-do list of life admin. And Grimmy is no different. Booze-driven afterparties have morphed into nourishing Sunday roast dinners with Mesh, his fiancé. Girl dinner Quaver packets have matured to conversations – on his glitzy new foodie podcast Dish co-hosted by Michelin-star chef Angela Hartnett – with Miriam Margolyes on how she likes her mashed potatoes. 

Having the big four-zero on the radar prompted a new perspective for the presenter. What was once maligned (“I felt like growing older was the end of something or deeply depressing,” Grimshaw admits) has been, mostly, embraced. It’s less coming of age but, rather, coming to age. Still, new digits doesn’t need to mean the fun is over. In fact, just last night, Grimshaw partied late with celebs Jake Shears, Amanda Lepore, Jodie Harsh, and Mutya Buena in Soho. Here in Holborn, however, things are much more mild. Sure, there’s some tasteful framed nude art to our right and Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ crackling over studio speakers but nothing beats a good old-fashioned launch party, or a karaoke b-day bash taking place later this evening in central London. 

Nursing a non-alcoholic beer, Grimshaw scoots across a black leather couch, arriving fresh from a photoshoot, something he describes as his “Naomi Campbell moment”. Comfortably clothed in a light-wash denim shirt and distressed jeans, he kicks off the conversation as if reuniting with an old friend. “I've never taken stock before. I'd never sat down and thought about myself, ever, and I don't think people do,” he says. Since his early twenties, Grimshaw’s image has been inextricably tied to two things: big names and his infamous towering quiff haircut. At some point, he acknowledges, you will have heard his quick-fire Mancunian comedy soundtracking your early mornings. Whether he was making jokes with Taylor Swift or having the early hours crashed by Charli XCX, the presenter became a known face at the Beeb. In his autobiographical book, Soft Lad, Grimshaw reminisces on the pull the small screen had on him as a young child. Armed with a love for glamour and theatrics, the events he saw on the telly called to a younger Grimshaw who dreamed of moving out of Manchester to take on London. 

Onboarding, in 2012, at Radio 1 to cover The Breakfast Show was something the podcaster remembers clearly; “There was a lot of pressure”. His days of spinning songs and connecting with artists over music became more than a vocation, but a specialism. While he does admit, sheepishly, that there were days his hangover ran over into work hours, he’s since taken time to reassess his habits and lifestyle. “When I was 23 I was getting absolutely wasted and doing it like a Geordie Shore night out,” he says. Now, Grimshaw is more conscious of being selectively sober in certain environments. “It can be really hard to go out and connect with people who are drunk and you're not drinking. But, sometimes, you have the best nights ever. I went out last night and went to a really fun party up until 1.30 am and had really good chats with loads of people.” He’s taking stock of the bigger moments around him, particularly ones that bring him closer to friends and family – “It's about learning. It's about growth,” he says earnestly. 

At 39, Grimshaw’s longevity has something to do with his candour and bonhomie. The most common compliment doled out about the presenter is his warmth. As a child, he recalls, the label “soft lad” was stuck to him, presenting his sensitivity as something to be ashamed of. But, years later, it’s become something – like his favourite Maison Margiela knit sweaters – that he wears openly. “At school, I always felt on edge that I was going to get beaten up or laughed at. When you've had that, you learn empathy and you think about how people might feel or what they're going through,” he explains. 

Realisng he was gay, as a child, filled Grimshaw with dread as he feared what it would mean. With limited queer culture references growing up (just Elton John and Lily Savage) his feelings were fully realised, aged 11, when he developed a crush on a poster of England footballer David Beckham pinned up on his bedroom wall. “You know what’s funny, not that I’m doing Miriam Margolyes press, but I saw her yesterday. I'd never met her and I went into her dressing room. Before I could say hello, she pointed and exclaimed: ‘You’re gay!’ and continued with ‘So, my dear, nice to meet you.’ As I got into bed last night, I thought about how that would’ve killed me if I was a teenager, but it was a really lovely bonding moment.” 

Though being a presenter and DJ took up most of Grimshaw’s early adolescent years, his move to writing has allowed him the space to trawl through his past years without expectation. From reassessing his comfort with queerness to realising the strength found in the LGBTQIA+ community outside of his town in Greater Manchester, Grimshaw is grateful for the relationships he’s built with those around him. “I learn constantly from the queer community. It’s that notion of being yourself and leaning into yourself which can be hard to do if you're queer, especially if you've had that knocked out of you when you're a kid,” he says. “The community are essential in helping everyone, and me, support one another.”

Soft Lad and Dish capture different versions of Grimshaw; the quirky characteristics of a presenter that couldn’t surface in a music hotbed. In his new roles, the presenter-meets-podcaster chats to hot-shot talent while unravelling stories centred around food, famous friends and frenzied stories. His book is an homage to his parents (“I realised how important they were shaping me – I love them contractually, but also really love them) and to his English and Irish roots. Bookended between stories of queer curiosity and his loathing for football, tales of community and camaraderie at Radio 1 surface. “I loved it when we had a great guest from the queer community. I had great times with Sam Smith, they would be a riot and would really gossip with us when the records were on and tell us stories that we couldn't have on the radio. Troye Sivan was a great time as well,” he recalls. 

Another memorable moment was his run-in with an early-era Lady Gaga, in Notting Hill, before she became Mother Monster as we now know her. “I did my first interview with Gaga years ago, for the telly, and it was when she was brand new. ‘Just Dance’ had just come out in America and she was making a bra out of gaffer tape on a dressing room floor,” he says, laughing. “I brought mum and dad along because they were in town so they met her right at the beginning of her career. Ever since then, whenever she'd come onto the radio show, she’d ask about my mum and dad.”

Grimshaw’s stories of famous crossovers are, understandably, endless – even if they’re ones he’s told plenty of times before. Up until recently, he’s remained embroiled in an ecosystem of music promoting a “product” but, now, he feels like his new projects allow for authentic conversations about people and their interests. His mantra, nowadays, is this: “Living in the full, truest form of yourself, without fear and judgement.” For a young Grimshaw, this unbridled queer joy took the form of “glamorous” drag shows where he dressed up as Cher for his family. Today, it’s about cooking in a kitchen packed with too many guests (and remembering to drink water). Turning 40, at one point, felt like a frightening due date. Now it’s a milestone Grimshaw is ready to take on.

#nick grimshaw #press #gay times honours 2023

[bellaxgiornata]

Keep Coming Back to You (Series Prologue)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: Serena McKenna–that was the name you’d given yourself years ago. There was no point going by your real name, not when you’d lost your old life long ago. It’s not like you belonged anywhere, either. Not when you constantly traveled the multiverse–or rather you hid in the multiverse. From them. You’d been on the run ever since they’d learned of your existence, back when you’d been trapped on the hellish world of Nightmare 1, the place you’d spent years perfecting the control over your emotions just to avoid being pulled there against your will again.

Then one day you met him. Matthew Murdock. The only person you’d ever let get close enough to love, and the one who inevitably broke your heart. But for some damn reason you kept finding yourself right back in his path no matter how far you tried to run.

Warnings: 18+ for this series; angst, smut, horror, language, violence (& a brief comment about sexual assault in the prologue)

Word Count: 2,300

a/n: Just posted this up on AO3 (which is where I have posted all four of my other Matt Murdock series) but figured I'd try sharing a piece fully on tumblr for the first time ever and see how it goes. I figured the prologue of this new series was a good place to start. The entirety of the prologue is below the cut! And yes, this is the Matt Murdock series with zombies I shared a snippet of a bit ago on tumblr.

PROLOGUE

The heat was sweltering on your walk home, sweat dripping down your hairline as the sun beat down overhead. Your heavy backpack that was pressed to the back of your tee-shirt wasn’t helping, either; you were positive there was a massive damp spot hiding behind the bag. Each step on the sidewalk only jostled the heavy books you were toting on your back against the damp, clinging fabric as your feet took you back to your current foster home as if by muscle memory already.

But you weren’t too focused on your discomfort as you walked, your mind currently centered on one thought: Kyle Felton. You’d been partnered up with him for a grammar activity in English class today. While he hadn’t exactly been friendly and talkative with you, he hadn’t exactly been mean to you today, either. Which had only further grown your absolutely ridiculous crush on him. 

You knew it was foolish to feel this way, too. Kyle Felton was on the football team. He was one of the cool kids who was vastly out of your league with his perfect blonde hair and his stupid boyishly attractive face. His sarcastic jokes that he always had the nerve to disrupt teachers’ classes with had caught your attention on the first day of school, and you’d been surprised that he was so well-liked that even the teachers found his interruptions entertaining and delightful. It didn’t help that ever since P.E. class three days ago you’d glimpsed the six-pack of his abs that you hadn’t known existed until his gym shirt had ridden up just enough during a game of basketball that allowed you to catch sight of the muscle. And then you’d been unable to stop thinking about him shirtless ever since. It was a miracle you hadn’t been struck dumb working with him today in class.

But it didn’t matter how much you liked Kyle and it never would. And that was not just because you often got bounced around the system, moving from foster home to foster home your entire life and making it difficult to maintain relationships with anyone. No, it was because a boy like that would never take notice of you . It didn’t matter that you were the new kid at Glenview High School this year because you’d already been deemed an outcast. The weird, quiet girl. The one with no family. Even the art club kids you’d often always managed to befriend seemed to snub you at this high school. 

Despite how much your new foster family had been growing on you over the past month and a half, you honestly hated it here. At least you had friends at your last high school, even if your foster parents were too busy to ever notice when you were even home. You hated that feeling of loneliness that seemed to cling to you like a second skin wherever you went, as if you never truly belonged anywhere with anyone.

“Oh, there she is! I thought that was the new girl,” a voice rang out, interrupting your train of thought.

Your head whipped up at the sound of your name being called out. The moment you spotted the three girls pushing away from the side of the local downtown coffee shop–a place you learned most of the teens here hung out at–your hands instinctively gripped onto the straps of your backpack. Swallowing hard, you came to a stop on the sidewalk.

Lindsey, Marissa, and Deirdre were approaching you, each of them moving with an exaggerated saunter and sway of their hips. You felt your palms prick with sweat which was not due to the late afternoon heat. 

Mean girls were what they were. Always tormenting you any chance they got in and out of class, but their bullying had always remained in the confines of the school, so you certainly hadn’t been expecting them to ambush you on your walk home. 

“Well come on,” Marissa pressed, stopping just a few feet in front of you with both girls flanking either side of her, “aren’t you going to say hi? Or are you really a mute?”

“Did one of your previous foster parents really cut out your tongue?” Lindsey goaded, a cruel smile on her pink lips as she gestured to your mouth. “Because that’s what I heard.”

“Well I heard she let her previous foster daddy touch her,” Deirdre mused, crossing her arms and shooting you a sneer. “Her foster mom found out and had her sent away. That’s why she’s here now.”

You’d quickly come to learn that you faired better when you didn’t fight back with bullies. It’s not like you knew how to fight anyway. So instead of meeting their taunts with one of your own, you let that fear curl itself around you as you abruptly spun on your heel, turning back the way you’d just come. Fine, you would take the longer way home today. You’d just come up with some excuse for your foster parents about how you’d stayed after school trying out a new club.

Though you only made it two steps before something roughly yanked at your backpack, the gesture pulling you backwards. Looking over your shoulder, you spotted Marissa holding onto the handle of your backpack with a vicious smile on her face. 

“Well that’s rude,” she spat. “Just going to walk away without a word?”

She gave another sharp tug on your backpack, her effort managing to pull the straps halfway down your arms. With a chorus of laughter, the other two girls joined her until they’d tugged the backpack entirely from off of you.

“Hey!” you exclaimed, spinning back around towards them. “That’s mine!”

“Ohh, she speaks!” Lindsey squealed.

Marissa held up your backpack with one hand, her head tilting curiously to the side as she eyed the faded maroon bag. “What do you think is in here?” she asked the other girls. “You think she carries candles and some Satanic bible?”

Lindsey was nodding her head enthusiastically in response. “Oh, totally. I bet she summons the Devil after school,” she agreed.

“Bet she’d fuck him, too,” Deirdre snapped, her dark eyes scanning you up and down. 

Your heart was pounding hard in your chest, your hands clenching tightly into fists at your sides. It was taking everything in you not to begin crying from the fear and rage growing inside of you. You wanted to snatch your bag back from Marissa, your body shaking with the desire to just reach out and rip your bag back from her manicured hands. Instead, you helplessly watched her unzip the backpack before she turned it upside down, dumping the contents at her feet with a loud clatter. She toed the textbooks out of her way with her expensive looking sandals, a smile lighting up her face when she spotted the CDs on the pavement.

“Oh, wow, you would listen to this demonic shit,” she teased.

She placed her shoe over the top of one of the CDs and stepped down hard until you heard a crunch . You flinched, tears pricking at your eyes. You’d gone weeks at a foster home a few years ago not eating lunches at school just to afford those few CDs–the only possessions you had besides some clothing. The other girls only laughed, encouraging Marissa to crush the other CDs. 

When she placed her foot over another, you took a step towards her, your curled fist raising and drawing back ready to strike. You wanted to punch her in that pretty little face of hers. But you didn’t get very far, because the moment you began to swing your fist forward, something solid hit you in the side of your own face. Pain shot through the left side of your face as your vision briefly blurred from tears. You stumbled backwards at the impact, falling onto your ass on the pavement and scraping your hands as you tried to catch yourself. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Devil lover?” Deirdre growled. 

Your left hand flew to your cheek, wincing as the skin stung under your light touch. All three girls were towering above where you sat on the pavement. Deirdre was still raising a fist towards you as if she was intending to punch you again. You flinched when she drew her hand back like she was about to and that only drew out another round of laughter from them. 

“What a big baby!” Lindsey cried out.

“Look, she’s even crying,” Marissa mocked you. “Poor thing, we really upset her.”

Eyes snapping shut, you drew your legs into your chest, letting the tears flow freely down your cheeks. You just wanted to disappear, you wanted to get away. You were embarrassed and scared and hurt. Your heart was hammering wildly against your ribcage as you internally begged them to just finish smashing your CDs and lose interest in you for the evening. 

And that was when a strange sensation fell over you.

Something ice cold made its way up your back, snaking its way up the length of your spine despite the burning heat of the day. It felt like a pair of freezing cold hands had gripped onto your shoulders before you were suddenly and sharply pulled backwards.

Your eyes clenched tighter at the feeling of whatever was happening to you next. It felt like you were falling through the air while simultaneously being crushed. Your organs felt like they were twisting and squishing together inside of you as a high-pitched ringing hit your ears. 

Something solid hit your back hard and you cried out in pain at the unexpected impact. The sensation of falling had abruptly disappeared but you were hit with a sudden wave of dizziness that overtook you before you’d even opened your eyes. Flipping yourself over, you vomited right there on the sidewalk. You’d expected to hear more taunts and teasing as you retched, but you didn’t hear anything. After a moment, the spinning sensation slowly wore off and you opened your eyes, wondering if the girls had finally left you. 

You froze instantly, utterly confused when you saw you were sitting on the floor of what looked like a destroyed gas station. The windows were shattered and broken, something like ivy snaking in through the shattered glass. A few nonfunctioning lights on the ceiling were dangling haphazardly above you. The tiled floor you found yourself on was coated in dirt and dust and now accompanied by the contents of your stomach. 

In a panic you crawled backwards along the floor, your eyes darting all around you as you moved. The shelves seemed almost entirely bare and you spotted a few empty plastic bottles littering the dirty floor. There were no lights running in the store, either. Not even the ‘Exit’ sign was lit. Your heart rate quickly picked back up.

Where the fuck am I?

You had just been on the sidewalk. Deirdre had just punched you in the face–you could still feel the sharp sting of where she’d struck you on your cheek. Those three mean girls had just been laughing at you, crushing your CDs. How the hell were you suddenly in a rundown gas station? 

Why the hell were you suddenly in a rundown gas station?

A shiver ran over you, your arms crossing over your chest as goosebumps dotted your skin. You realized it was cold in the store. Which didn’t make sense considering there couldn’t be any air conditioning running without electricity and it had been sweltering outside just a moment ago. 

Carefully you pulled yourself up to your feet, grabbing onto a nearby shelf to steady yourself as you moved. Your legs felt weak underneath you as you stood staring out of the broken windows before you. Your other hand flew over your mouth as you took in the sight outside.

There were rusted and paint-faded cars with their doors left hanging open outside, as if whoever had been in them had quickly abandoned them. Judging by the few trees you could see, it looked like late autumn with how sparsely covered in leaves the branches were. The parking lot and road just outside were cracked and worn, covered in potholes that clearly were in need of repair. As you continued to survey your new surroundings, your eyes spotted a bloody handprint on the hood of a white car. A nauseous feeling roiled in your gut at the sight.

Had you suddenly had a mental break? Were you delusional in an asylum somewhere? Being fed pills and hallucinating nightmares now? Was that what was happening to you?

A loud, choked sob fell out of you behind your hand, tears once again spilling out of your eyes and streaming back down your cheeks. You were terrified and confused. Alone yet again. The tears freely flowed out of you, hot and wet as you sobbed pathetically in the ruined gas station.

What was happening to you? Was any of this real? And how the fuck had you gotten here?

A noise in the distance caught your attention, breaking through the cries of your distress that were spilling out of you. The sound was unlike anything you’d ever heard before. It rang out again only seconds later, the sound sending a chill down your body and raising the hair on the back of your neck.

It sounded like some sort of animal you’d never heard before, something that was loosing a guttural screech that you heard echoing in the distance. As you stood there in the gas station, tears still quietly running down your face, you noticed it had gotten quieter around you. Even the bit of bird call you’d heard only moments ago had come to an eerie silence.

Where the fuck were you?

#matthew murdock x reader #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock series #matt murdock fic #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fanfic

[nerves-nebula]

I thought you read all of Homestuck? Sorry this is not an accusation or anything, I just swear that I remember you saying that... Memory is weird lol. And it's not like I have read it or planning to do so anytime soon, but yea

went on a bit of a rant here oops

i have read all of homestuck and it sucks. sometimes you become older than 14 and understand more about the world and realize this thing you used to think was cool actually sucks in a lot of ways. to be fair though, i did also think parts of it were shit when i was 14, so like. yknow. there were also parts i didn't understand before which i now understand, which makes me hate them, cuz they sucked. mostly the ableism and racism. there was other stuff but i refuse to re-learn anything about homestuck so I guess my other complaints will fade away as i live a life free of homestuck.

coming back to finish it when it ended was a slog but i couldn't stand the idea that I'd read most of this really long thing and had tapped out near the end.

the fans of it can also be a pretty mixed bag. what annoys me isnt normal fandom cringe stuff, but rather that a lot of them don't seem to be able to disconnect homestuck with the common tropes homestuck is pulling from. sometimes it's like homestuck is the first and only piece of literature they've ever actually engaged with meaningfully so they go into other stories and go "this is just like homestuck" because homestuck is so big it's got tropes from fucking everywhere.

someone once called Maureno a Lusus cuz she's a big animal who takes care of a kid, as if being raised by a magic animal isn't one of the most classic tropes out there common in mythology all over the world. it'd be like if every time i saw a mentor and their charge i was like "omg this is literally eda clawthorne" regardless of context or if the dynamic was the same at all. it's funny a few times but after a while it's just obnoxious. at least it is to me.

i'm biased tho since i hate homestuck, i don't usually care about people saying "this is just like my blorbo" about literally anything, ever, but for homestuck it's just slightly annoying. cuz i don't like it.

that being said i have been known to reblog homestuck art from time to time. cuz it's good art. and i don't begrudge people for liking homestuck, i used to like it too.

ALSO I'mma be real that post I made before was a jokey joke. like, drawing the characters as black is some of my favorite fanart. it won't make me enjoy homestuck again but it WILL make me appreciate the black artists who put so much time and thought into their fantastic designs.

#nnstuff #ask #homestuck tw

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

Studio Ghibli watch-through pt. 7

Finally found a way to finish watching these last 4 Ghibli films, so here's the current finale of my Studio Ghibli watch-through.

22. The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013)

7/10

I loved the art style but I see how someone might be turned off of it but idc, they can leave more beautiful art to me. The story dragged in some places but it was still fun to watch.

23. When Marnie Was There (2014)

8/10

I came for the promise of yuri, was disappointed in the twist but watching it again I see that yuri is there but it's more of an awakening yuri. The story is also relatable for those of us artists who have felt burn out and depression blocking us from creating, not to mention the feeling that ppl are being nice just out of curtesy rather than genuinely. Tho' if I had a nickel for a Ghibli film that had a romance where it turned out they were related, I'd have 2 nickels which isn't a lot but it's strange that it happened. (I know they aren't related in Poppy Hill but we were made to think they were for half the film)

24. Earwig & The Witch (2020)

3/10

First of, the Ghibli style in CGI didn't translate well. Second, this really could've been a series instead of a movie because at least in a series we might've gotten more than what we did get. Nothing really happened and then it ended just as it seemed like it might be moving the plot forward.

25. The Boy and the Heron (2023)

9/10

Saw this one in the theaters with my brother and we both loved it. Seeing as it's an apology from Hayao to his kids, in that he wants them to not follow his footsteps if they don't want to, makes the movie a bit more poignant. Wish we could've had more time in the wacky spirit world or whatever realm it was but I liked what we got (also Robert Pattinson killed it as the Heron)

That's every Studio Ghibli film from Castle of Cagliostro to The Boy and the Heron. Ghibli is a major inspiration not just for artists but for film makers/story tellers and I'd say that they should be required viewing for any aspiring artist/film maker/writer. While obviously their most well known ones but also some of the lesser known ones since there might be something there that someone sees potential in and expands on it in their own work.

#studio ghibli #ghibli #the tale of princess kaguya #when marnie was there #earwig and the witch #the boy and the heron

[probablyaseamonster]

to all the people making fanart about My Little Pony infection AUs:

That was my childhood! MY. CHILDHOOD! My largest source of happiness because I sure as hell wasn't getting that from my family or anybody I interacted with after leaving the house. I lived vicariously through the Main Six because I apparently didn't understand how friendship worked since people either avoided me and gave me looks or pretended to be my friend just to gaslight me afterward (like i wasnt getting enough of that at home). The few friends I did manage to get never lasted long, and I'd spend hours wallowing in jealousy because my siblings managed to manifest massive friend groups despite being absolutely awful.

I happened upon Cupcakes by accident like so many other children and I could never look at my favourite show the same way again. Even when I was enjoying it there would always be those terrifying images at the back of my mind. Not even the most innocent media in my childhood were safe from adults who "liked" children.

You ruined it! You ruined the one good thing I had! And now you have the gall to be like

"Hey, remember when we destroyed the innocence of thousands of children and drew and wrote so much heinous art that we became an entire subset of the fandom? That was fun! Lets do that again, for old time's sake."

FUCK YOU. How come you get to enjoy your nostalgia at the expense of the people you already actively prevented from experiencing? How come you get to ruin the corpse of the characters you ruined during their life?

I don't fucking care if you're neurodivergent! I am too and you actively took away the only source of joy I had when I was surrounded by ableism on all sides. If you can't tell, this is an extremely personal subject to me!

The MLP revival shouldn't be more creepypasta shit. And don't you DARE call me a white Karen mom about this. Because of you, MLP is known for horror and characters brutally murdering each other, and don't get me wrong! I love that shit! I'm in the life series fandom for God's sake! I was a Magnus Archives fan! But this is different! This is an innocent piece of media I was LIVING on.

Can you all just fucking stay out of it? I would rather a timeline where only a few people made MLP fanworks in 2024 and were made fun of than you all doing this with its legacy. Abusers shouldn't be able to kick the actual mourners out of a funeral and assault whoever, dead or alive, is left.

Ive never understood the reason why people make DNI lists but I think I'm getting it now! Istg, if you come at me with more MLP horror, I am blocking you, and if you make fun of that statement I'm sorry but I would deck you in the face if you did that IRL because how dare you laugh at a person this angry? I get enough of that on the regular already and I don't need people I could've been friends with online adding themselves to the list.

Now how about you all squash your indeserved and harmful nostalgia and LEAVE so that us traumatized kids can enjoy what little content we still make?

#anti mlp infection au #god i hope that works #last time i checked the anti au only had pos stuff for some reason #i removed this from the main tag i hope it suffices #hate #apparently #mlp #controversy #personal #fandom drama #fandom discourse #PLEASE don't explain to me about the blacklist system #I ALREADY KNOW it exists #the ISSUE is YouTube #and I'm PRETTY SURE that I can't control that #i am sensitive #in an angry way #that is not an excuse to infantilize me thanks

[myriadium]

If you can't read the notes, I'll write them here:

terrible eyesight

shoulder length hair (naturally black)

modern hanfu (w/ pockets!)

roots growing in

1 mole below right eye

flower hairclip (gifted by jo)

Chan Lee's appearance in the original show pissed me off; the writers went crazy with the stereotypes (Trope Bingo), I half expected them to make a dog eating joke in the show. Also the way her name is so similar to Chun-Li? Her name is so unnatural and I think I'm gonna go crazy if I talk about it any more.

Anyway here is her character info: Chansheng Li, she/her, 20, pan, 5'2'', chinese.

Since her Bakugan is based off of the Asura in Buddhism, I think it'd be cool if she was Buddhist. I have yet to do research on the Buddhism religion so I won't say anything about that right now.

I know I mentioned martial arts as a negative for Chan, but I really really want Shun and Chan to fight, so I'm gonna have her know martial arts, but I'll have to do the research to make it a well fleshed out character trait, rather than a nebulous "she knows kung fu" kinda trait. Imma have her know Southern Praying Mantis style, which you might also know as Toph Bei Fong's bending style in Avatar: the Last Airbender. I also don't know anything about martial arts, but mark my words, Shun and Chan will fight!

I haven't given much thought on her job but someone who becomes one of the top international players probably don't have a life, so I'm making her a trust fund baby who spends her free time playing Bakugan and gardening.

SO! I've decided to do some more research and rework her character. Chan wears a qi pao in the original show, which is mostly to accentuate her curves. Sexism in Bakugan strikes again. I prefer hanfus anyway, so because I want to maintain the modern and traditional vibe, she's getting a plain button up with a hanfu dress. I wanted to give her a flower motif, and I had initially decided on a peony, but since her surname, 李, means plum, I might change into a plum blossom.

I stole the outfit wholesale from this amazing photo:

Speaking of her name, buckle up because I spent way too long nitpicking different characters for her name.

Chan's name is Chansheng Li. Written as 李婵胜, pronounced lǐ chán shèng (In Chinese, the surname is said first).

李 is a very common surname. I think Li is a more common romanization of the character in mainland China, while Lee used in places that don't really abide by pinyin rules (in Canto speaking places you can also write her name as 李嬋勝). So if you write Chansheng Lee it is also correct!

婵 (chán) is what's known as a "meaningless bound form", which means it doesn't mean a specific word by itself, only when it's paired with other characters. The sign on the left, 女, means girl, so this character is very feminine, and anyone reading this name would know that she's a girl. General vibes mean "graceful" or "lovely".

胜 (shèng) means victory. It's quite a masculine name, but paired with 婵 it provides a nice balance, I think. Due to this, just by hearing her name, you would have no idea that Chan is a woman.

婵胜 (chán shèng) sounds like 常胜 (cháng shèng), which loosely translates to "often suceeds". Chinese parents like naming kids like good luck charms, so I think this is a realistic thing to name Chan.

A fun side note, I had originally considered 嫦 (cháng), which is the same first character as the Chinese moon goddess Chang'e (嫦娥). Funnily enough, 胜 (shèng)'s left character, 月, means moon! Additionally, 嫦's right character, 常, also means "often", which is what I used in the previous point!

With a name as long as Chansheng, some people might shorten it and call her Chan, but I remember the original show only referring her with her full name, and also Chan sounds kinda weird on its own. As such, I will refer to her as Chan, but realistically the characters would call her her full given name.

I'd also like to add a disclaimer that, even though I did my best with research, I'm not very connected to Chinese culture, so please let me know if any of these things are inaccurate (I would love to see sources as well lmao)! Also note that China is a very diverse place, so do not take my characterization of Chan as a representation of the whole country!!

#bakugan #chan lee

[eye-of-enigmatic-thought]

Don't turn your back on me, I won't be ignored.

[ID: Digital art of a fullbody of Crocrow intensely staring straight at the viewer as he holds a knife with the right wing. Crocrow is a small cartoon crow with red eyes, a long scar over his left (our left) eye, and a small tuft of feathers on the back of his head that lead up. The background is a rgb red surrounded by black scribbles and the ground is a dark grey. End ID.]

So, a bit of context

I am a system and I have headmates, I found out about a year or so ago that I basically have... other people in my brain who I talk to and navigate life with. For the most part its something we rather keep private about ourselves due to not wanting to deal with ableism and how its generally mostly me, Tara, managing things and fronting whilst the others take the sidelines (I describe it as mostly me with friends who occasionally check up on me).

warning sad sad dump below:

A month or so back, I was triggered of some childhood trauma, and I met a new alter called Crocrow, who takes the appearance of a little crow and takes who I was when I was around 10-14 years old. Those years were a very traumatic time and they still greatly affect me. I'd rather not get into full detail of it, but I am still filled with anger and hurt. I still have things that trigger me of that time no matter how miniscule it would be.

Crocrow, despite most of my headmates preferring privacy, does want to be more known, he wants to yell "I am here, I am real" to the world because what he and I went through was real and it made him, it made me into where I am now. We don't want our pain to be ignored, we don't want it to be dismissed, or that it could have been 'worse', or that it 'wasn't that bad'. We went through trauma, we are still hurt and affected, we want that to be known, and we want to express it. Hopefully in ways that don't bring us MORE trauma xD

Most art with Crocrow would be way too personal to show (even if he really wants me to share them, I just don't think itd be a good idea to bring out all the specifics of my trauma for the world to see), but drawing him be the little edgy badass I wanted to be as a traumatised kid who wanted to be just like Shadow The Hedgehog has been really cathartic for me. So you may see art of him around. :)

(heck he may even talk on here too if he wanted to, i dunno, we'll see)

#my art #digital art #vent art #crocrow #crow #alter art #plural #plural art #im kinda nervous posting into those tags #trauma #trauma art #title is taken from #faint #linkin park

[synergysilhouette]

"Strange World" (2022) overhaul rewrite

I never expected to do a rewrite of this, despite my issues with it. But then I decided I should just do an overhaul of it. Be forewarned: I'm taking this in a VERY different direction--like, almost unrecognizeable; how do you feel about an Arthurian epic with aliens? As always, be kind--but if you have critiques/questions, I'd be happy to hear them!

Plot:

On a planet far away, there was once the mystical alien planet of Siyned. Twenty-five years ago, King Ursam of Lonava, a prosperous and mystical country on Siyned, disappeared without a trace, leaving his young son Taurus in charge of running a kingdom. For a time, all was prosperous, but now, a powerful sorceress named Niobe has come to battle for the throne, and threatens to engulf the kingdom in darkness and horrors unlike the world has ever seen. Together with his wife Iopeia, son Boralis and their band of allies, Taurus must navigate being a king as well as sorting out the secrets that come out with Niobe's arrival.

Important story/world details

As you may see, the storyline is inspired by the tale of King Arthur, inspired by the fact that Searcher Clade is from a land known as Avalonia, and my first thought was: "Man, a King Arthur-inspired story would've been so much better than what we got." This comes with certain important story/world details:

The cast is made up of aliens. Given the pulp magazine inspiration the original SW film takes from, I'd enjoy seeing a comicbook inspiration for the alien races here, as well as video game inspiration from the fantasy side of things. In the best case scenario, this would be a spiritual successor to "Atlantis." I'd enjoy seeing different races of aliens, though I personally do like the idea that Taurus looks human (though since his wife and son are POC in the OG story, making them appear inhuman might be a bad call if he still appears white). And excuse the use of AI art here; I just liked the video for it's use of 80s dark fantasy inspirations, which I'd also want to be the inspiration for the fantasy aspects of "Strange World."

2. The culture is more medieval/ancient--except for the technology (and maybe fashion). I like the idea that it takes inspiration from various world cultures similar to how "Atlantis" does.

3. The cast is obviously different.

King Taurus--A kind and intelligent king, albeit sensitive and sometimes overcome with his emotions due to unresolved feelings with his father (I thought that'd be a good thing to keep). He's a gifted mage, and I'm definitely getting Gale of Waterdeep vibes from him--albeit less problematic. He's also in his 30s, so slightly younger than Searcher Clade. Still, he's older than most Disney protagonists, which I think makes the film more accessible for an older crowd, and an established Disney romance between a husband and wife rather than two people about to get married or just getting to know each other carries nuances that you can't get with many "kid films."

Queen Iopeia--A scholar and trained warrior who managed to capture the king's heart, and they fell in love. While she doesn't have any magic per se, her physical abilities make her a threat to all who wish to harm her loved ones. She often serves as the emotional anchor when Taurus is frazzled, and on rare occasions, their roles are reversed.

Prince Boralis--The young man who dreams of adventure, a Hercules-type protagonist who has self-esteem issues given his family's legacy. Of course, his crush on Castelon, Niobe's lead soldier, weighs on his heart heavily, since they grew up together before he disappeared and decided to side with her, seemingly with no explanation a year ago. His conflicting feelings make it difficult for him to use his powers (either alien or magical) to full potential. Definitely think his style is more akin to Ekko's from "League of Legends."

Niobe--Vicious but sad, she is the powerful sorceress from the Lands Beyond, a realm of darkness that engulfed the lands west of Lonava. She is much more powerful than Taurus, but wants to destroy him emotionally before killing him, hoping to break him and make him give her the crown that is rightfully hers. She sees him as living the life she always wanted, and despises Taurus for "taking" it from him. She has an affinity for petrifying her enemies--and keeping their consciousness intact. It's later revealed that when Ursam discovered a prophecy that Niobe would bring about the kingdom's destruction, he left her in the Lands Beyond as a toddler. It's somewhat akin to how Cora abandoned Zelena in Once Upon a Time ("I have to leave you to give me MY best at life"). That said, given that many Disney fans want an unapologetic villain, I'd make her too bitter and angry to be swayed by Taurus' pleas, but at her defeat, it's brought to light that despite being a good king, Ursam was NOT a good person.

Serioph--A wise mage (our Merlin figure) who serves as a parental figure to Taurus and a mystical guide. He has the ability to change his form at will, and ocassionally takes on a female form following Taurus' mother's passing and seeing that he needed a mother figure as well as a father figure. However, despite his power, he is tied to the laws of neutrality: if he was to battle someone of great good or great evil, his magic would cease to exist--which includes his power of longevity, and he would cease to exist. He knows this, but uses his powers to harm Niobe and prevent her from killing Taurus, killing himself in the process.

Ienvy--Serioph's daughter, inheriting his magic by lineage, and thus not tied to the Laws of Neutrality like he is. Niobe is drawn to her and attempts to persuade her to join her side, but when Serioph is killed, Serioph curses Niobe to become undone, giving her a sense of insanity that makes it possible for Taurus and the group to defeat her. Despite her help, Ienvy feels guilt for what she's done after learning about Niobe's past, and imposes a self-exile upon herself after the battle is over.

Castelon--Boralis' crush and childhood best friend. He eventually left and joined Niobe due to being tricked into joining her service by failing to prove his selflessness (similar to the tale of Gawain and the Green Knight). As such, he has become warped, becoming a smug Namaari-type villain, so there's a lot of tension between him and Boralis. (Note: This goes without saying, but he'd get a major design overhaul. Some people say he looks like Frankie Grande, but he gives me Jay Manuel vibes from "America's Next Top Model" and I CAN'T STAND IT. I'd rather he looked akin to Lucio from "The Arcana.")

Different Design style FOR SURE

Part of me finds the looks to be too normal; the characters don't grab my attention because they look either too realistic or too cartoony. Even if they weren't aliens, I'd want new looks for their clothes, at the very least. And the non-human-looking aliens felt way too cartoony here, not really ethereal or interesting in the slightest. Honestly, THIS deserved to be a hybrid film, tbh; it'd help to sell the alien vibes, as well as the fantasy aspect. And in particular, if we're going for a more mature look.

Lemme know what you think! I may come back and tinker this a bit.

#disney #disney animation #strange world #league of legends #arcane #atla #avatar the last airbender #iroh #black panther #okoye

[blu3-f1nch]

Would you mind sharing what your version of Cherubim/Venomania’s story is?

[EXPAND ME, ART!!]

There's uh.. A lot to share here lmao- I'm so sorry this is gonna be kinda long, but a summary nonetheless. My body horror drawings of him are not a part of this canon.

Short answer; Many of the original themes of the story made me deeply uncomfortable so I didn't just re-write Cherubim, I re-wrote 90% of the universe and Cherubim just ended up being my hyperfixation. Yes he is still a lust demon, but lust doesn't always = s-x, it can also mean strong desires, his strong desire was freedom. Boom.

[Anatomy of the "False Angel" design can range heavily as he's essentially a shapeshifter. He can't just turn into random animals though-- I just mean that its anatomy can range from almost weasel like to humanoid.]

Long answer: For starters.. I re-wrote a lot of the universe, I wasn't super deep into the entire world and didn't want to spend more time reading the wiki than I already had (I'd been reading it for a few days trying to find specific information).

I re-wrote and/or added a lot of the gods, made an entire ranking system for the demons of the world, changed a lot of the lore- and really only did this because I was uncomfortable with one silly little purple haired mans' themes that led me into a week long spiral.

So for starters, his youth is much the same but is changed slightly. He wasn't born with any sort of facial deformation as I'm a tad uncomfortable with portraying characters who do abhorrent things because of a deformation/disability. Not to say people can't write these themes, I just was not comfortable with it under this context. Instead, he was born out of an affair, this he was known about to the public to some minor extent, but very little was known about him and he was kept out of the public eye out of shame. So he still didn't leave the castle much. [I do not have any concepts of him as a kid]

At one point he did have a taste of freedom, leaving the castle with his brother, as the two actually had grown up around one another and were rather close. They did this many times and Cherubim got to feel what it was like to have real friends outside of the guards and maids he spoke to, since his parents paid him little attention. He was caught however and after this was just kept in his room, rarely able to leave. He grew bitter and resentful, angry at his parents, angry at the world. He was just a confused kid. He had this deep desire to be free, so no one else could control him. These wishes attract a kind of demon known as an affiant. Hers [I call them Heirs] don't exist here in the same way that they do in the original work, they are something different. An Affiant is someone who has made a contract with an item of sin, so a human turned demon. Heirs are still born as purely beings of evil, but they have a bit of a different purpose. Anywho, aside from that, the Clockwork doll works differently here too. The original demon sealed within the doll has awoken and controls its body, though it still has much of its magic locked away. The Doll wasn't always this way but that doesn't matter. The doll was drawn to Cherubim for his deep desire for freedom and begun to speak to him, and over the course of a few years- until about his mid-teens, where they introduce the idea of forging a contract with a demon to get what he desires; Freedom. [I also do not have any concepts of the clockwork doll yet]

Cherubim is very off-put by this, he is not comfortable with this idea, and starts backing away from the clockwork doll, who is not pleased by this. She stabs Cherubim with the venom sword, forcing him to make a contract with the demon. In his initial moments, he had zero control over himself. He transformed into a being that would be dubbed "The False Angel," with the demon mostly in control at this point, it slaughtered the royal family. Cherubim was all that was left behind, going back to his normal form he would pass out. He doesn't remember much of these events, but he too was pinned as a victim; A fortunate survivor of some bloodthirsty demon who came in and slaughtered the royal family.

It has been many years since then, he's now 27. My take on lust is not lust in the sexual manor, but a deep desire for freedom, freedom through the acquisition of power and being above all others. However, because of the re-write I made of the lust demons powers, he more feeds off of emotions of the people around him, so keeping his people happy is incredibly advantageous to him. For this, he's generally admired by the public while at night he slaughters other demons not to protect his own people- but to acquire their power as well. He's actively seeking out the other vessels to gain their power as well. He's very self-serving in this AU, but not a straight up s-x offender (makes me deeply uncomfortable lmao) So here's my description of the Venom sword and the powers it gives its affiant: "The Venom sword -- is a katana with purple runes inscribed on the weapons blade, and the weapon itself is able to shift and change its appearance to any weapon of the users choice. In order to make a pact with this demon, one must be impaled by the sword, which leaves a scar that persists through any disguise the user takes on. It allows the user to change their face, body build, sex, etc- though again the scar remains. And much like a few of the other vessels, it allows the user to take on a more demonic appearance that is unique to each user, though often reflects one aspect of the original demon's appearance when it wasn't stuck within the vessel. This demonic form is extremely strong, and is when the user is most powerful. The lust demon also grants the ability to manipulate the memories of others, as well as the emotions they feel. They feed off of the emotions of the people around them, and sometimes other people's emotions make it difficult for the user to retain composure and their typical mannerisms. They must feed off of others emotions to replenish their magic. Feelings of happiness, excitement, bliss, etc give the user the strongest boost."

Sorry if any of this didn't make sense, it's 8 AM and I'm sick lmao-- I didn't proof read.

original drafting/Older design

This design felt too "human" to me, and so I started going with a more harpy/feline-like feel. This creature is supposed to resemble an angel, but something is supposed to be completely wrong about it. I don't feel like I hit the mark on this one, and I don't particularly like these drawings anymore- kinda got made fun of over them but I like them enough to share.

Clothing stuff I never finished or colored, one of my friends had me make a furry design for him lmao The gold and indego/purple theme is what I have for his clothes, and I'm thinking about changing his hair color. It'll be purple still, but it'll lean more towards magenta like in that one body horror drawing I did.

Here's the last of it, I don't have a whole lot of art of these designs honestly, I haven't fixated on him again and have been in bad art burnout-- just trying to focus on commissions and my OCs.

But yes, he doesn't go by Sateriasis Venomania because he never stole his brothers identity/had the memory fuge.

#you opened one hell of a rabbit hole #I will happily answer any other questions about this au! #please ask away #reblogs > likes #art #my art #blues art #digital art #my oc art #oc #mothy #evillious #the evillious chronicles #sateriasis venomania #cherubim venomania #cherubim #venomania au #duke venomania #duke venomania fanart #oc dump #info dump #lore dump #vocaloid #gakupo #kamui gakupo #gakupo kamui #evillious chronicles #evillious fanart #thank you for coming to my ted talk

[fidius]

OK, I get that us child-having folk are kind of boring and it often seems like we have kind of checked out of friendships and the parts of society that don't overlap with parenting in Venn diagrams. That's true, those are true things I will not dispute. And I remember being distraught? disappointed? dismayed? dis-something anyway when friends did the whole marriage-and-kids thing, which usually felt like them moving away or dying-lite or something. Which, again, kind of valid? People ask me if I want to go out somewhere and (unless it's their band or art show or something) I say no I've got to read my kids' bedtime stories. I used to be available for shenanigans and now I am not, and 70% of that is having kids. Single and/or childless friends I understand your annoyance verging into existential despair. It sucks, as we all know, that we don't live in a more villagey situation where everyone is less isolated and hanging out is easier and we aren't all working far too many of our conscious hours.

But.

I love my kids so much. An indescribable love that I have so rarely seen addressed in media that I don't think you are likely to understand it without having experienced it. I often--daily, usually multiple times--just sit and think about my kids and what they do and how they are and I am satisfied by their mere existence as beings on a deep level beyond anything I've known before. This is true even when I am extremely annoyed at them, or worried about their health, or in any of the other exciting unpleasant mental states that parenthood breeds. There is something wonderful and awesome (original meaninga, full of wonder, a condition of considerable awe), I think, in ever really and truly getting to know another human (probably that's love yeah?) but when it's the child you're watching grow up and guiding in your modest way it's beyond. It's self-sufficient, nearly. The nuclear family is shit for society but it does feel like so much on its own that I do get where the positive parts of its power come from.

If you've had a pet, especially a pet you've come to know slowly--a young one you raised or a rescue you won over--and you've felt that feeling of "this is all great but I'd rather be at home with my cat" or that sublime right-place-in-the-world on an ordinary walk with your dog, then you have brushed at the feeling I am trying to get at here. I'm trying to do really honest, no-bullshit estimates here, based on the cats I used to think about at work and just tear up with how much I loved them, and I'd say that was like 1/85 or 1/90 of the feeling of having a kid? But with this not-insignificant dash of, I don't know, mortality? gibbering anxiety at the simultaneous vastness and narrowness of human experience? It's fucked up, the whole experience, and it does things to your brain that will never make sense or calm down as far as I can tell and still seem somehow correct.

(I don't want to imply that you somehow have to be genetically involved in the production of the children to experience these feelings, or even be their primary caregiver--interacting with children at all you've probably experienced some of this on a species/tribal level that may have delighted or unsettled or delighted and unsettled you--but the strength of the emotion does have a lot to do with the responsibility, I think.)

#all of which is arguably why everyone should be a little bit responsible for all of the children around them #if everyone lived in a huge family-ish arrangement and occasionally looked after whatever kids were around #maybe fewer of them would be greedy assholes divorced from their own humanity #(humanity as a concept is not dependent on kids and you do not in any way need to interact with kids to be a 100% member of humanity #but there is something about participating on any level in the continuation of the species and the culture that inculcates a sense of duty)

[obsoleteozymandias]

Hi! I saw that your requests were open. So, if/when you get the chance, I'd like to have a match for Twisted Wonderland! This is long, I'm sorry in advance.

I use he/it/xe, I'm vaguely masculine and I call myself transmasc but not sure what my identity is as a whole for my gender. I'm also questioning my sexuality, so anything goes honestly. I'm fine with mostly any characters, but maybe not the first years other than Epel and Ace? I dunno, I don't like the majority of them for some reason. Anyone else is fair game, even the other college(s). Not too picky with it.

I'm 5'10 and chubby, fluffy and short hair, I wear glasses and a knee brace most of the time. My vision is really bad without my glasses. I also have somewhat mediocre hearing, but it's not enough to warrant hearing aids. I'm severely anemic, and I have chronic fatigue. And mental issues, I'll get into those later.

I'm a huge fan of fiction novels. And I essentially have two ends to that spectrum when it comes to my preferences; queer romance novels, and splatterpunk horror novels.

As for other hobbies than reading, I'm pagan. I know it's not technically a hobby, but I do want to mention it. I'm what some would like to consider an "eclectic witch," though I don't focus on those labels. I work with Lilith and Hades(which, given Hades is one of the Seven, may cause some confusion.) I'm also an artist, I like coloring with markers or doing paintings if I have the time. But markers are my primary medium at this time. DND is one last thing I'd like to mention, I'm the VP of the DND club we have at my school.

Other general interests, I'm gonna try and make this short. I like crystals a lot. Also some video games(pokemon is a special interest of mine, for example,) and animes(Black Butler is so far my favorite anime other than pokemon. Pokemon is my favorite as a whole, though.)

For me as a person, I'm pretty quiet. I don't have a lot of friends, but that's not something entirely my fault, because I've grown up with the same people my entire life and not many of them like me because I'm autistic. I'm small town and all that. Not even a stoplight in town levels of small. I've known one or two since preschool, and 20 other kids since kindergarten. My favorite core subject is English, and my favorite elective is Drama or Art. I usually keep to myself unless I'm around the few people that are actually my friends. Which is the DND club, and 3 other kids who are lowerclassmen by a grade or two. When I am around my friends, I do manage to be more extroverted, but it's only around them, and usually because we're doing stupid crap in DND. More of a follower than a leader, would rather be reading than being around people, and while I can't usually concentrate on classes due to my classmates, I still get high marks usually.

I do have PTSD, autism, AVPD, and BPD. I don't necessarily let them control me, but they do give me some personality traits. For example, I'm extremely hyper-vigilant. I can't relax very often. Even the smallest thing can set me off, but not in a temper way. I'm a perfectionist but only for myself. I hate socializing, and I only go to things like dances because my 6-8th grade years were hell due to the pandemic and other personal factors. Also, major parental issues. Not gonna elaborate on that one.

I'm also strangely good with kids. But not just any kind of kids, for some reason. I'm good with toddlers specifically. I can't handle anyone whose over 5 years old, unless they're over 13. So 6-12 years old and I can't handle them.

I do a bunch of volunteer work when I have the chance. For example, despite religious issues I have I do help out at an AWANA group at my area, working with the youngest group of kids there. I also do some work at the hospice thrift store in town.

That was a lot, but it might help you in the long run? I'm not sure if I added too much, but it's too late now. If you do end up doing my request, I appreciate it a lot! But if not, that's okay, I understand. Bye : )

I have mixed feelings about splatterpunk but I have been known to dabble

== Twisted Wonderland ==>

I match you up with…

Kalim Al-Asim 

Kalim is the kinda guy who is genuinely accepting of everyone and everything. He sees the intelligence and creativity in you and is instantly at your side, talking up a storm, asking you about your day, etc.  

He’s drawn to your mystique, most of all. He wants to know and understand everything about you, though he’ll certainly respect boundaries (he’s learning how). 

I headcanon that Kalim is also a crystal enjoyer - especially ones that distort or change his view of the world. He’ll be bouncing off the walls when the two fo you go crystal shopping, asking you all the names and picking out ones which match your eyes and your skin and - he’ll just take all of them!

He’ll then make you glasses and jewlery with the gems embedded in them. 

Kalim will encourage your creativity, whether through writing or art. He wants to watch you work too, and he’ll fawn over every little brush stroke, so proud to be your S/O! 

Bad days happen to the worst of us, and so whenever you’re feeling down, Kalim is quick to find a way to make it better. You’ll have to tell him directly how to help you - whether that’s letting you be or offering advice, but whatever it is, he’ll put 100% effort and love into it. 

And when he’s down, nothing cheers him up like some quality time with you, cuddling or holding hands (he’s a tactile person). 

You two are very much the sun x moon dynamic <3. 

#twst #oz’s requests #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #matchups #twst matchup #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader