Being Baby Blue
Rise Ramblings #313
Leonardo Hamato is…an interesting individual.
As a middle child, he doesn’t have to shoulder the responsibilities of the oldest, nor is he fawned upon or babied over like the youngest. Therefore, he ends up having more of a lackadaisical approach to life.
In his free time, instead of training like Raph, Leo can normally be found reading comic books.
And for good reason! Someone has to be up on the latest issues of Jupiter Jim and his space odysseys.
But, other than being a Jupiter Jim superfan, who is Leonardo Hamato?
If you ask Leo, he's...*takes out a list*:
“Primetime,” “First,” “The Best,” “Number One,” “The Champion,” or some other iteration of all of the above.
...Huh. Anyways...
Of course, the first thing Leo would tell you is that he's the team's "Face Man."
As the "Face Man," he’s the one that turns up the charm when they need to schmooze their way out of, or into, something.
He's the face of the group! It's a very important title, right?
Well, in this scene with Hueso, we learn what Leo really feels about his place on the team.
"There's no team with just a face man." "I'm nothing without them."
Hmm. If he thinks that he is nothing without his brothers, then what's the deal with all of this "Number One" and "Champion" talk?
I believe that Leo is exhibiting a form of Reaction Formation.
Reaction Formation is a primitive defense mechanism that involves transforming one's unacceptable feelings or emotions into the opposite.
"Solicitude may be a reaction-formation against cruelty...romantic notions of chastity and purity may mask crude sexual desires, altruism may hide selfishness, and piety may conceal sinfulness."
Leo has been creating these grandiose titles and this larger-than-life persona for himself as a means to cope with his feelings of insecurity, his anxieties, and combat his self-deprecation.
Gee, forming a larger-than-life persona to counteract their suppressed feelings also reminds me of someone else we know…
But, I digress...
Behind the fabrications, his insecurities, who he pretends to be, and who he wants to be, the real Leo is still on display, starting as early as the first episode.
He's attentive, he understands the team's strengths and weaknesses, he assesses situations, he comes up with great plans on the fly, and he is a voice of reason.
These are all the characteristics of a great leader.
However, something happens when he’s actually appointed as such.
There he goes again. He's cocky, arrogant, and act's as if he's unphased even by the prospect of loosing his brothers. If this is Reaction Formation, then what is he trying to mask with these behaviors?
Previously, he was masking his insecurities, his anxieties, and his self-deprecation, but with the faces he pulls when he thinks no one can see them, I want to say the newest emotion is fear.
He is terrified of being the leader and floundering under his new responsibilities. He's scared of the consequences of his actions, and what those consequences may mean for his brothers. However, instead of voicing his insecurities, or communicating with his team, he doubles down and falls back into old habits.
The "Face Man" persona is turned up to an 11, and things get worse and worse until...
His greatest fears have been realized.
He has failed as a leader. He has failed his brothers. He has failed to stop the invasion, and they are all going to die because of his failures.
Now he's faced with the harsh reality of his own mistakes, thus he finally faces himself.
"It's scary to be responsible for the lives you protect, your team...your family. But we do it anyway because that's what it means to be a hero."
He may be speaking to Raph, but he's talking about himself.
His words are his true feelings, the same feelings that have been holding him back this entire time. By opening up, he's able to surrender to himself and let it all go.
And it's the breakthrough we all have been waiting for.
What Leo doesn't know is that through letting go, he's able to become the true face of the group he is destined to be.
He's the face of hope.
○○○○
Previous | Being Big Red
Next | Being Purple ○ Part One • Being Purple ○ Part Two • Orange, Baby!
Finale | Being Hamato Yoshi
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up against the wall (with me)
@steddiemicrofic prompt: pin, 388 words | rated: t | cw: none apply
Eddie can admit he’s thought about Steve pinning him against a wall at least once.
More like twice. Maybe three times. Four if you count that daydream where Steve pinned him against his car.
He always thought reality would be better than fantasy, and while he can appreciate feeling Steve’s hands on his waist and the length of his body against him instead of just imagining it, reality lacks an important detail from Eddie’s fantasies.
Steve isn’t kissing him.
Sure, it would’ve been confusing if Steve randomly pushed Eddie into an alley and started making out with him, but he isn’t any less confused by Steve dragging him here and then not kissing him.
“Steve?”
One of his hands covers Eddie’s mouth. “Shhh.”
Eddie gets momentarily distracted by the weight of it against his mouth. Before he embarrasses himself by moaning or something, he licks Steve’s hand.
“Ew!” Steve wipes it clean. He should’ve known Eddie would pull that move.
“Why are we here?”
“Kelly Donald was coming our way,” he says, which doesn’t explain anything. “She’s been to the store a few times to ask me out. I turned her down again yesterday, said I’d be busy all day.”
And he had been- hanging out with Eddie.
“Why not take her up on the offer?”
Steve shrugs. “I don’t feel like going on dates with random girls anymore, kinda have my eye on someone.”
Eddie’s face falls. “W-who?”
“Well-”
“Steve! I thought that was you!” Kelly says. “What are you doing here, silly?”
Her eyes widen when Steve shifts and she sees Eddie. He expects her to yell, and maybe so does Steve, who moves to block Eddie from view, shielding him.
“Sorry!” She says, surprising them. “Didn’t see you there. Eddie, right? Sorry to interrupt, I’ll go!” She hesitates, then faces them again. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything. Sorry I kept asking you out, Steve, whoops!”
When she leaves, Eddie says, “You should go after her, explain this isn’t what she thinks. This is how rumors start, Steve, you don’t want the girl you got your eye on hearing about-”
“Eddie?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re the person I have my eye on, you idiot,” Steve says, and then he’s kissing Eddie! Against a wall!
Eddie takes back what he said- reality is so much better than fantasy.
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