#but I'm so greatful for all the things I did get into especially NYU and her scholarship thank u girlfriend 💖

[cowgurrrl]

Losing My Cool

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: shortie short but I’ve already got another part half finished 🤠 fic named after this song

Summary: What do they say about all good things? [1.1k]

Warnings: yearning idiots, probably incorrect interview technique, idk what else

A PA brings you over to your mark and instructs you to stay there until your name gets called, which seems simple enough, but she stays nearby to make sure you don't wander. It feels a little silly to always have to be babysat, but you brush it off, smoothing your hands down your blue dress and taking deep breaths. You've done late-night shows before, but they still make you nervous, especially since you know just how many people watch them. Ryan sent you a video of Elizabeth sitting in front of the TV, watching an ad for tonight's show, and cheering when she saw your name and face. So, who knows who else might be watching if your five-year-old goddaughter is?

You can hear the introductory remarks, laughter, and applause that come with them, but you miss the voices whisper-arguing behind you. They die down by the time your brain wraps around the sounds and decide to stay focused. And you do. You run through what you want to say about the movie, fun anecdotes, and easy ways to skate around questions about Joel. You feel settled and prepared until familiar hands wrap around your middle, making you jump and turn in his arms. 

"You're gonna get me in trouble," you say, and Joel smirks.

"I had to convince the production assistant to let me come kiss my girlfriend for good luck."

"You're getting fast and loose with that term, huh?" 

"D'you want me to stop?" He asks, his thumbs swiping over your hips, and you shake your head.

"I kinda like it."

"Good," Joel says as the band starts playing, and you push at his shoulders. He quickly kisses you, his hand lingering on your lower back for a second longer than necessary, before rushing away with a mischievous look on his face. "Kick some ass!'

You laugh at the sentiment as your name gets called from the front of the stage, and the curtain opens enough to let you walk through. You smile and wave to the audience members as you walk over and shake Jimmy's hand. "Thank you so much for being here," he says so only you can hear, and you smile. The band vamps until you sit in the plush chair beside his desk and accept the applause when he repeats your name.

"It's so great to see you! You look fantastic!" He says, and you smile as you run your hands over the skirt of your dress.

"Thank you! I'm so happy to be here."

"Well, we are very lucky to have you. You've been a very, very busy lady these past few years. When was the last time you were in New York?" He asks, and you puff out your cheeks as you think.

"At least four or five years."

"And you went to school out here, right?"

"Yeah, I graduated from NYU. I was lucky enough to earn a full ride on a merit-based scholarship which doesn't happen very often, and once I graduated, I did a few projects here in the city before getting my first movie deal out in LA."

"That's amazing! And since then, you have been nonstop. I mean, you are everywhere. And you have a new movie coming out called Red Dirt Girl," he says as he holds up a picture of the movie poster, and the audience cheers at the image. You reach out to boop Lilly's nose and feel yourself smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt, but you're so happy. For once, it feels genuine. "What was it like to work on this film?" 

"It was just the opportunity of a lifetime. We filmed out west around the Colorado-New Mexico border, and I hadn't even been out there, so it was so fun getting to know that area and working with the cast and crew. I mean, it was just like coming to work and having fun for twelve hours a day, and then we all lived in the same building, so we would just keep hanging out, and we got to be really close."

"And the girl who plays your sister, Lilly Porter, is just phenomenal for someone as young as she is. Did you find yourself getting protective of her?" 

"Oh, absolutely. Lilly just turned sixteen about a month ago, but when we were filming, she had just turned fourteen, so she was really young, and I hadn't worked with someone that young that closely. And we had a day where we just sat down and talked for hours, and she's such an old soul, and she's so smart, but, I mean, we both know how hard the industry can be. So, I set her up with people I trust and gave her advice I wish someone had given me. I got really close with her family, and, of course, they are fantastic people as well. So, it was a learning curve for both of us, but she is an amazing, beautiful person, and I'm so lucky that I got to work with her. I totally consider her a little sister now." 

"Which is ironic considering that you guys butt heads so much in this movie."

"Oh, yes, we do."

"Let's take a look at this clip here," he says as a short clip from the movie comes up on the screen behind you. Lilly's character, Sabrina, is arguing with your character, Jo, about getting sent home from school because of her behavior. Lilly perfectly portrays the annoying little sister as she stomps through the house, making sarcastic comments and driving you up the wall. The clip ends with Sabrina telling Jo that she's just like their mother, which obviously, hits Jo right where it hurts. You smile and clap along with the audience as the clip ends. "Wow! I mean, just fantastic! Were those scenes hard to shoot?"

"The scenes where we were fighting were really hard to film because I just love her so much, and I never wanted to yell at her, but Lilly was absolutely brilliant because she would do a new thing each time we shot the scene that would completely throw me off. So, like, one time she knocked over a chair or slammed the door so hard that pictures fell off the wall, and it would startle me each time, and then it was pretty easy to access that anger after that." You laugh, remembering the time you accidentally did raise your voice because she scared the shit out of you. 

"And did the director tell her to do that?"

"No, she just did it! And Peter, the director, was just sitting there like," You cross your arms over your chest and lean back in the chair, copying the famous Peter Jankowski slouch, and nod, pretending to chew gum. "And like, that's it! Which is great! You always want a director that will let you try things, but I was given no warning." Jimmy laughs at the story and seamlessly transitions into a commercial break. 

The rest of the interview goes smoothly, with you promoting the movie and even playing a game where you had to answer New York City trivia facts. Appearances like this can actually be really fun when they're done right, and you always have a good time when you're on the Tonight Show. As you're leaving the stage, Jimmy tells you that you and Joel have to get dinner with him and his wife the next time you're in the city, and you agree, knowing that it will probably never happen. 

You're excited to see what Joel will say about how things went, but when you go backstage, he's nowhere to be found. You don't find him immediately in the wings where you left him or in your dressing room. You almost ask the PA if she saw him leave, but she's dealing with five million other things, and you doubt she would've noticed even if he did. You furrow your brows as you fish your phone from your purse and type out a quick message to Joel.

Hey! Where are you? I just got done.

The message delivers even though his phone is on Do Not Disturb. You think about calling him but figure he might've just gone back to the hotel room before you. Paparrazi gets pictures of you leaving the studio alone and shouts questions at you, wanting to know where Joel is. You don't answer. You just get in the car and try to get back to the hotel as fast as possible. Truthfully, you're a little embarrassed. You looked around for him like a lost puppy backstage, and now you're just dutifully returning to the hotel to look for him. It also doesn't help that you were photographed arriving with him but not leaving with him. You can feel Melanie's migraine from here.

When you scan into the hotel room, all of Joel's stuff is gone. His clothes, shoes, and even his razor have all disappeared. You were there for an hour, maybe less, and he just left? Your phone buzzes in your purse, and you quickly pull it out to see a text from Joel.

Ellie had an emergency. On the first flight back. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you.

You sigh, plop down on the now too-big bed, and kick off your heels.

No worries. Take care of your baby. I'll see you when I get back.

Thank you. I owe you.

You don't owe me anything, Super Dad. Just text me when you get home, and keep me updated. Let me know if you or Sarah need anything.

He starts typing something before deleting it and then typing again. For a moment, you two stare at the same screen, waiting for the other to say something even though he's at the airport and you're in an empty hotel room. Your heart clenches in your chest as he types and types and types, just for the bubble to disappear as fast as he did.  

#one for the money two for the show #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller the last of us #joel miller fluff #tlou au #the last of us au #joel miller x female reader #rockstar!joel miller #rockstar!joel

[real-jane]

poet laureate

part 3 - [prof bucky barnes x fem!reader]

summary: dean stark has his say.

warnings: none.

a/n: in case it wasn't obvious, there will be a fourth and perhaps even a fifth installment lol. i'm not ready to let them go.

series masterlist

__

Bucky had never been given a chance to decide what he wanted in life, but staring the visage of his fears in the face, Bucky was overwhelmed by the notion that he was not ashamed to be caught kissing this woman. All along he had anticipated how horrible he would feel, were Dean Stark to find out. Indeed, he was embarrassed (especially considering where his hands had been wandering), but former-professor Barnes couldn’t muster an apology for what they had done. He didn’t want her to be punished for it–but it didn’t mean he regretted it. 

“I can come back.” Stark cleared his throat, turning away to give them some modicum of privacy.

“Thanks for meeting us,” Y/n said quickly. She stood and gave Bucky space to push off the chair and join her. He frowned at her in confusion. “I asked him here,” she said softly, leaning toward him as if the person who could end her career at NYU wasn’t standing right there. 

Y/n smiled. “You are going to be so many things to me. A dirty secret is not one of them.”

Bucky searched for her hand blindly and linked their fingers once he found them. She’s not ashamed. The thought almost eclipsed the dread in the pit of his stomach. Still… he stood. He clutched her hand.

“It’s good you know. In case you get questions,” Bucky said to the Dean, who leaned against the door frame.

Stark snorted. “Is this why you resigned?”

“Yes.” The admission came forward of its own volition; it wasn’t the whole of it, but when he cut it right down to the wick of why–it was because all he wanted to do was kiss the woman at the end of his arm, even if other people saw him do it. Bucky cleared his throat to steel his nerves. 

“At no point were we doing this when she was my student. I didn’t develop these feelings until the Summer. It seemed inappropriate to continue with my position, knowing I intended to pursue it.” 

“No, I think that was astute. I am curious why you didn’t come to me right away.”

Bucky glanced at Y/n. She smiled gently.

“Doesn’t matter, does it?” she asked. “It happened. What’s important is where we go from here.”

“Hmm.” Stark seemed to consider this deeply, removing his ostentatious glasses to rub a hand over his face. 

“I don’t want her degree to be in jeopardy, and we’re both aware how it looks–”

“Okay, bud. I know you’re freaking out,” Stark said, closing the door so the conversation might stay at least somewhat confidential, “but be straight with me: did you fuck on school property?”

Bucky’s cheeks reddened. “No.”

“Did you kiss her while instructing her?”

“No.”

Dean Stark’s focus swung to Y/n. “Did he coerce you into a relationship with drugs or alcohol or… I don’t know. A puppy, or something.”

“Nope.”

“Did you do favors for her like altering her grades or write a recommendation letter in exchange for favors of a sexual nature?”

“Jesus,” she breathed. “Nothing like that. He came to my symposium with the Emily Dickinson Fellowship in Amherst. Today is the first time we’ve been on campus at the same time since. So I can help clean out his office.”

“Great. I’ve done my duty, so. Do whatever you want, but not on property. Okay?” Stark sighed. “Barnes, I’ve known you for a few years now… long enough to see that you don’t have a life outside of teaching. No offense.”

“Apt,” Bucky agreed.

“You are a good person. The fact that you resigned to get ahead of this speaks to your ethics, but I think you underestimate how much people in this program appreciate you. If you had come to me–’gee, Tony–fell in love with my mentee, what the hell do I do?’ I would’ve asked you all of these questions, word for word. And we could’ve figured out a solution which didn’t look like you had a sudden breakdown. I mean… you’re seeing your former student. No way around it. But you’re not out here plucking up freshmen. So.” Stark shrugged. “If you have an interest in finishing out the semester, or… I don’t know. Coming back in some capacity, I’ll support you.”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair in disbelief. “I–no. Thank you. I have a new job. I need to do something else for a while.”

Stark nodded. “Alright. Well. People are gonna talk. Nothing I can do about that.”

“We can take it,” Y/n said.

Stark looked between the two of them for a moment, and a genuine smile pulled at one corner of his mouth. “Poetry is dangerous, huh.”

Bucky couldn’t help but sigh. “Sure.”

“Off the record, just so I know for your adjudication. Did you leave his name on your thesis?”

“Sir–after two years of work?” She scoffed. 

“I had a feeling. It’s better I ask your reasoning now than during your defense, in front of your peers and family,” Stark said.

“I mean–what answer would be acceptable to the board?” Y/n spat. “If it weren’t for Barnes, this thesis wouldn’t exist. To leave him unacknowledged would be factually inaccurate.”

“Y/n–you should’ve taken me off,” Bucky murmured. “I would’ve understood.”

She looked between the two men with an aghast expression. “No. And if interrogated by the board, I’ll tell them the same. I’m not hiding him from my work.” She squeezed Bucky’s hand so tight, he could feel her heartbeat in his palm.

“Okay. As long as you’re prepared.”

“Due respect, Dean Stark, I know what we’re up against.”

Stark shrugged. “Noted. Well. This has been illuminating,” he said with a surprising amount of peace about the whole thing, at least outwardly. “Barnes… I might suggest skipping her defense, anyway.”

Bucky looked down and nodded. “That was the plan.”

“What?” Y/n gapes at him. “This is ridiculous.”

Stark’s face turned stony. His mouth flattened into a thin line, and for just a moment, he looked like he was going to retort with something short or clipped, but… Tony Stark sat in the chair across the desk from them and crossed his ankle over his knee. 

“About… fifteen years ago, now? I developed a bit of a drinking problem, after my father passed. The board put me on probation after I fell asleep behind the wheel at a stoplight. Luckily, I had had the forethought to turn the car off before passing out. Woke up thanks to a knock on my window by a campus patroller. So, my mother suggested hiring an assistant. I brought the idea to the Dean at the time, in the guise of helping me ‘get my shit together’ and he created a special work study position for a TA, which involved being an administrative assistant for the department. Basically… making sure I was sober enough to come to class, and drive without killing myself. 

“Only one student applied. My little secret wasn’t well-hidden, but… Pepper was desperate to pay for her school herself so she didn’t burden her parents, and she didn’t care what it took. Until she realized her stroke of luck meant buying me gallons of Pedialyte, and fishing me out of the bar every time I drunk dialed her. She hated me. I was so annoyed by the sound of her shoes squeaking on the floorboards coming down my hallway that I gave her a pair of slippers… which she threw at me. But she kept showing up. She checked me into the hospital, and waved her finger in my face while the nurses had me captive with tubes and wires… It’s like you WANT to die! Pepper cried. I wasn’t thinking like that–I was just. Sad. And somebody actually cared.

“I didn’t ask her out for five more years,” Stark said. “Long after she graduated, might I add. Sometimes, love comes out of the clear blue sky. It doesn’t mean it’s bad, this thing between you. But some things will be difficult for you to navigate while you’re here–” he nodded to Y/n– “because of your historical connection. You also don’t have to make your lives harder. Barnes attending your thesis defense after suddenly resigning, while still being named on your work?” Stark clicked his tongue. “That’s a recipe for questions which have no bearing on your defense, but the board may not see it that way. I’m not… unsympathetic, here. My wife would make me sleep on the couch if I punished you for something I did, myself. But you should’ve told me right away. A guy’s gotta wonder what it says about him when people think they can’t come to him.

“Bottom line: now, I know. Should it be brought to me by someone other than yourselves, I can say I did my diligence, and found nothing… actionable. Yes?” Tony raised his brows and looked between the two. Bucky barely managed a slight nod, but that was enough for the Dean. 

Tony stood. “I’ll tell you: some days, I wish I still drank.” He winked at Y/n. His departure left behind a heady silence. 

Bucky released Y/n’s hand, and sank into the chair the Dean had occupied. Was that really it? Had he been waking up in cold sweats over the possibility of a personal history lesson from Tony Stark? Was it possible that the punishment for falling for her amounted to such a small sentence–well, not getting to hear her talk about her work was a loss, which rankled in the pit of his stomach out of disappointment more than anything–and he might not have to hide? He couldn’t stifle the huff of amazement. Y/n rubbed his shoulders.

“Are you upset with me?”

Bucky’s head snapped up. Was that fear in her voice? Her eyes searched his for reassurance, while she nervously nibbled the plush of her lower lip. What was crowning his dumbfounded dome? Love? He hadn’t said it, but Sam and Tony both had read him like a children’s board book. He loved her. Had done, since before the bloody workshop. Since… yeah. Since she handed him the first stack of poems which would become her thesis, and made that very same nervous face at him while he read her raw vision for her culminating project. He was neither upset with her for coming clean to Stark, or for any other thing. He opened his arms and she folded forward, dropping to kneel between his knees. The moment her cheek hit his chest, Bucky zinged with an image of the future. It wasn’t a premonition exactly, but it centered on her.

“I, uh. Hmm.” He gathered his realizations into a somewhat coherent statement, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “I am better. With more of you,” he murmured, hearkening back to the poem of hers he had tried to use as an excuse not to love her.

“I know,” she whispered. Her fingers drew lazy circles on his back. “I wish you could be there for my defense.”

“Pssh.” He pulled back enough to look her in the eye. “I’ve had a front row seat this whole time. It’s someone else’s turn.” Bucky smiled as her nose wrinkled. “Doll, that night–broke my own heart, leaving you. I had feelings for you before then. I see that now. Just wasn’t gonna do anything about it.”

“Buck,” she said, as if his name were a new endearment she had created just for him, “do you know how long I’ve felt the same?” She giggled when Bucky frowned. “I didn’t even think you’d come to Amherst. When you did, I thought I was going to die. I don’t know how I made it through my reading.”

“You were perfect–”

“I was shaking, absolutely terrified you’d figure out all that… what did my instructor call it? Oh–“pent-up yearning”--was over you.” She sat back on her heels. “And you went with me to that bar after, and suddenly… we were magnetized.”

“Think we should tell Stark that part?”

She reached inside his fears and lit a candle. “Bucky, I love you. Even though you have been running like an Olympic Gold medalist, I’m pretty sure you feel the same.”

He blinked. “I think that is an insufficient description. Both of how I feel, and how much I’ve panicked about it.” They shared a soft, shaking laugh. She pressed up so they were nose-to-nose again, and Bucky nuzzled her. “Loving you doesn’t come easy to me. Haven’t had a lot of practice. But. I know I want to touch you again, and I feel a bit like a randy teenager about it.”

“Too bad we’ve been warned off campus trysts.” Her cheeks were warm when his fingers found them. “I’m free tonight.”

“I have work.” 

“What time?”

“Eight.”

She kissed him feather-light. “This packing thing isn’t going to take us all day.”

Bucky coughed, and flushed. “No, uh. Probably not.”

“So. Let’s wrap this up, yeah?” Y/n stood, leaving Bucky dumbfounded in the chair. He watched her straighten her clothing and turn her attention to the files in the desk. Though her eyes were cast downward, she smiled like she could feel his gaze. 

He scratched his cheek. This woman–blinding, beautiful, vibrant, intelligent–she had written poem after poem about him, by her own admission. He had reviewed every one, without knowing he was reading a profile of her affection for him. Born out of so many weekends in that very office, pouring over his thesaurus together, dog-earred to death with synonyms for ‘breath’ and ‘sigh’. He recalled telling her one time, ‘this would read more romantic if you…’ and the memory trailed off, because… she took his advice. She revised. He taught her the language of his heart. He walked the path beside her. He found himself at the same intersection she did. Where he saw uncultured awkwardness in himself, she saw something precious. Maybe that’s what love is. Somebody thinks I’m poetry. 

Once upon a time, he wrote things people found meaningful. Enough that his own thesis was carried by the university library, and sold at the coffee shop under ‘notable local authors’. He hadn’t put any of his own words to paper in so long that he wondered if he’d forgotten how. Or if, just maybe, he didn’t need to package his thoughts in palatable portions. Not if the woman he fed was her. And by God, if he couldn’t sustain himself on her words alone, he wasn’t fit to be with her.

And that wasn’t acceptable. 

He rose to his feet slowly, as if he couldn’t trust his knees not to knock together with nervousness. She paid him no mind, so he circled around the desk. Bucky reached for the folders in her hand; Y/n squeaked in surprise when he nudged the file drawer shut with his toe. He didn’t say a word, just wrapped both arms around her waist, tucked his chin into the crook of her shoulder, and held her. It took a moment for her to relax, but when she did, she hummed. A sweet, happy three-note ditty. Heart-sounds. The sort which she emitted when words were insufficient. She made many beautiful sounds on the one night of intimacy they had shared. Back then, he hadn’t felt worthy to listen to such sounds of abandon. But as her fingers crawled along his forearms to hug him back, Bucky knew they were meant for him. 

She was meant for him. Whatever ‘meant’ meant. No synonyms sufficed.

She packed everything which hung on the wall, including his degrees and the photo of his Army regiment. They left the files for his predecessor. They didn’t say much, but he kissed her when the urge struck, and offered her his coat when he deemed the office sufficiently emptied. He didn’t mind the pang of sadness which tugged when he slid his key into the mail slot of Sam’s office.

Part 4

--

tag list: @peterhollandkait @honeywithemoney @nahthanks @emmabarnes @dracris33 @dracosluvbot @searchf0rtheskyline @cjand10

#bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x f!reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #professor bucky #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au

[pathologising]

Did you try to apply to Harvard? I’m 100% positive you’ll make

I did 😭 but I didnt get in which i expected bc this year was crazy competitive like the uni I got into was a 12% chance and then I got on berkeleys waitlist and stanford was like "we see ur dream and ur a very nice candidate but we don't have space" like ok then make space ugly ass 😐

#but yeah I think that had it not been so competitive this year I would've gotten some more acceptances #but I'm so greatful for all the things I did get into especially NYU and her scholarship thank u girlfriend 💖

[johnsamericano]

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

#nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct jung yoonoh

[amortm]

      *  𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒  𝐔𝐏  ,  pretty  kitties  !   i'm  terribly  sorry  abt  my  absence  on  the  dash  alongside  you  angels  ,  &  trust  that  i’m  fully  embarrassed  of  my  slow  ass  ,  but  i  finally  typed  this  baby  out  ,  &  i  can’t  wait  for  y’all  to  meet  my  love  ,  𝒋𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔  !

*  ╰   it’s  an  absolute  dishonour  to  meet  you ,   julianna  /  jules  .  at   twenty - one  ,  you’ve  disgraced  the   peralta   family  name  &  failed  to  carry  on  their  legacy  as  an  elite  .  as  a  result  ,  they’ve  requested  that  we  at  the  academy  do  our  best  to  rid  you  of  your  venality  ,  & seeing  as  though  they’re  worth  86m  ,  we  dutifully  obliged  .  while  your   pleonastic  &  inexorable  attributes  have  always  promised  failure  ,  it’s  your  spar  with   pride  &  ghosting  your  breakout  acting  role  after  you  found  out  your  daddy  secured  it  for  you   that  got  you  committed  .  before  we  take  possession  of  you  ,  it’s  imperative  that  we  know  that  you  are  a   cisfem  who  prefers   she  &  her  pronouns  ,  &  you  resemble   diana  silvers  .  your  birthday  is  on   april  26th  ,  making  you  a  recalcitrant  taurus  ,  &  you  were  transported  to  us  all  the  way  from   vail  ,  co  .  at  the  present  time  ,  you  work  off  campus  at   seaside  florist  .  go  ahead  &  purchase  that  extra  large  suitcase  ,  disgrace  .  you’re  going  to  need  it . 

your  name  /  age  /  pronouns  /  timezone  /  etc  .

hiya  loves  !   i  go  by  blue  &  she  /  her  pronouns  ,   i’m  9teen  ,   &  i’m  a  pst  baby  !   i’m  one  of  the  six  lovely  admins  @  #unholy  ,   &  they’re  all  superstars  ,   so  imagine  my  daily  awe  !   anyway  ,   i’m  beyond  excited  to  finally  get  the  ball  rolling  ,   &  share  the  dash  with  you  babes  !

 muse  inspo  .

noora  sætre  ,   the  goldfinch  ,   ella  of  frell  ,   neil  perry  ,   charlie  dalton  ,   claire  saffitz  ,   monica  geller  ,   carla  lalli  music  ,   mia  thermopolis  ,   adam  parrish  ,   blue  sargent  ,   anna  ou  !

 character  details  :

    💐 :   sweetly  judgmental  ,  adoringly  vindictive   /   vindictively  adoring  ,   witty  ‘n  gritty  ,   bitingly  tender  ,   expressively  stubborn  ,   softly  feral  !

    😈 :   hershey’s  chocolate  ,   brooklyn  pizza  ,   baguettes  ,   collector  edition  copies  of  wuthering  heights  ,   selfies  ,   her  mom  ,   richard  siken  anthologies  ,   twilight  (  #teamedward  )  ,   crowded  movie  theaters  ,   english  gardens  ,   the  air  in  new  york  ,   the  air  in  vail  ,   snowboarding  ,   her  hair  ,   hot  chocolate  (  no  whipped  cream  ,   half  a  bag  of  mini  marshmallows  dumped  atop  )  ,   andrew  garfield  ,   her  discover  weekly  playlist  ,   german  shepherds  ,   harry  potter  ,   lord  of  the  rings  ,   comedies  ,   horror  movies ,   nude  lipstick  ,   chocolate  chip  toffee  cookies  with  sea  salt  drizzled  on  top  ,   mamma  mia  franchise  ,   dissertations  ,   driving  ,   any  typa  jacket  /  coat  ,   being  the  big  spoon  ,   her  father  ,   coca  cola  ,   lilies  ,   disney  t - shirts  ,   her  father’s  films  ,   take  out  ,   farms  ,   italy  (  every  single  crevice  of  it  )  ,   the  plaza  hotel  ,   mint  chip  ice  cream  ,   hats  ,   trains ,   monthly  horoscopes  ,  ancient  history  ,   greenwich  village  ,   maggie  rogers  ,   mating  ritual  ,   vampire  weekend  ,   mitski  ,   the  wombats  ,   magic  bronson  ,   jade  bird  ,   hockey  ,   pretending  to  be  a  fairy / witch  /  mermaid  as  a  child  ,   naruto  ,   avatar  the  last  airbender  ,   stepping  over  state  /  country  lines  ,   hot  water  with  honey  ,   amazon  prime  !

    👿 :   the  marvel  franchise  except  for  the  captain  america  &  thor  trilogies  ,   coffee  &  tea  ,   shorts  ,   sweet  potatoes  ,   layovers  of  any  length  ,   socks  ,   soy  milk  ,   her  arms  ,   chihuahuas  ,   a  song  of  fire  &  ice  novels  ,   super  fudgy  /  rich  cake  &  brownies  ,   cooking  for  herself  ,   being  told  what  to  do  ,   being  wrong  &  having  everyone  know  it  ,   people  who  are  rude  to  employees  ,   bad  tipping  ,   margaret  atwood  ,   her  first  grade  teacher  ,   plastic  coke  bottles  ,   too  much  pepper  in  a  dish  !

 upbringing  &  family  life  ,  life  before  the  academy  ,  etc  .

     julianna  rachel  peralta  was  born  to  a  beauty  -  charmed  family  of  three  ,   with  a  new  yorker  mother  &  italian  father  birthing  the  healthiest  &  happiest  girl  parents  can  dream  for  .    her  mother  ,  susanna  ‘ susie ’  peters  ,   was  coined  the  model  that  pioneered  90′s  fashion  ,  a  la  kate  moss  ,   &  met  julianna’s  father  ,   elio  peralta   (  think  the  francis  ford  coppola  of  this  verse  )  ,   whilst  she  was  briefly  on  set  for  jack  to  see  friend  fran  drescher  .    their  love  stemmed  from  there  ,   after  she  made  a  mocking  comment  &  he  overhead  &  mocked  her  in  return  for  it  ,   &  the  whirlwind  romance  that  captivated  their  world  for  the  next  few  years  led  to  miss  jules  being  born  .    neither  of  her  parents  desired  marriage  from  each  other  ,   rather  believing  that  their  love  knew  no  bounds  ,   even  those  of  matrimony  ,   but  never  did  it  dim  the  bond  held  between  the  small  family  of  three  .    once  jules  was  in  their  arms  ,   they  relocated  from  new  york  to  colorado  ,   into  the  quaint  town  of  vail  ,   surrounded  by  pristine  mountains  &  crystalline  air  ,   where  susie  &  elio  found  a  pocket  of  indisputable  peace  after  a  small  winter  trip  in  their  first  year  of  romance  .

        it  was  there  that  jules  grew  up  ,   &  there  that  the  love  of  her  parents  faltered  .    her  mother  missed  the  world  of  fashion  ,   the  rhythms  &  rhymes  of  the  space  she  knew  as  well  as  in  maintaining  the  fame  that  spotlighted  her  so  ,   while  elio’s  passions  for  turning  out  film  after  film  dwindled  .    &  when  the  offer  from  vogue  came  in  ,   waxing  poetic  about  a  fresh  position  as  a  fashion  editor  ,   both  she  &  elio  knew  that  their  paths  would  veer  .    their  love  was  no  less  ,   but  integral  factors  of  their  relationship  were  now  fractured  ,   &  they  each  desired  after  different  things  .    this  was  all  said  to  julianna  ,   in  soft  tones  &  with  assuring  words  .    yet  ,   never  was  it  promised  that  everything  would  be  the  same  as  it  was  ,   for  the  truth  was  in  something  unsaid  .    susie  moved  to  new  york  ,   while  elio  &  jules  stayed  in  that  mansion  in  the  mountains  ,   &  all  was  as  fair  &  well  as  it  could  be  ,   with  julianna  staying  with  her  mom  during  the  fall  season  &  discovering  every  little  piece  of  italy  in  the  summers  .    christmases  &  hanukkahs  were  always  shared  in  vail  ,   &  susie  tagged  along  european  dives  when  her  schedule  allowed  for  it  .    it  was  as  if  their  relationship  &  subsequent  uncoupling  were  trivial  details  no  one  could  bother  to  account  for  ,  until  ,   in  the  worst  spot  she’s  ever  seen  her  mother  ,   it  came  out  that  elio  peralta  found  a  new  woman  to  share  a  life  with  ,   &  that  their  new  life  together  would  be  housed  in  the  same  home  that  susie  &  elio  specially  chose  &  ,   in  emotional  terms  ,  truly  built  themselves  &  carved  their  family  in  its  foundations  .    it  was  a  betrayal  of  the  deepest  caliber  ,   &  from  there  the  small  peace  that  still  was  at  the  core  of  their  little  family  was  forever  severed  ,   &  it  became  obvious  to  jules  that  those  few  years  were  lucky  .

     she  was  thirteen  when  famed  actress  lily  taylor  (  aka  jennifer  connely  lmao  )  moved  into  her  family  home  ,   bringing  her  adopted  eleven - year - old  twins  with  her  .    in  a  sense  of  loyalty  to  her  mother  &  her  own  hurt  over  the  despair  that  her  father  caused  their  original  trio  ,   jules  was  heartily  &  positively  prepared  to  hate  the  new  additions  to  her  family  with  a  vindictive  fidelity  .    her  plan  was  promptly  overturned  ,   however  ,   when  she  spent  day  upon  day  with  her  new  fam  &  steadily  allowed  them  into  her  heart  .    this  ,   of  course  ,   was  paired  with  doubtless  guilt  ,   spurred  on  by  her  own  mind  whenever  she  flew  to  nyc  to  see  her  mother  ,   but  soon  enough  this  was  caught  by  each  of  her  parents  ,   &  susie  was  insistent  in  her  assurance  that  whatever  frigidness  she  still  held  for  elio  &  his  new  beau   (  which  julianna  didn’t  bother  to  correct  with  wife  )   ,   it  in  no  way  extends  nor  should  be  mimicked  by  her  .    elio  ,   in  turn  ,   was  quick  to  promise  to  jules  that  his  love  for  her  mother  flamed  in  his  heart  to  this  day  ,   but  each  of  them  are  happier  living  their  lives  in  the  lifestyles  they’ve  chosen  ,   with  the  people  they’ve  chosen  .    

      there  really  wasn’t  anything  to  do  but  swallow  their  words  ,   &  live  by  the  sentiments  they  expressed  .   jules  was  both  a  mama’s  &  daddy’s  girl  in  one  ,   so  to  take  their  words  as  fact  was  an  ignorance  she  allowed  herself  ,   even  when  the  hurt  look  on  her  mother’s  faced  inevitably  shone  through  in  hidden  moments  .

     but  when  jules  turned  seventeen  ,   susie  fell  in  love  with  a  musician  /  designer  named  tommy  lever  she  met  while  interviewing  his  collection  for  vogue  ,  &  the  two  fell  deep  ,  far  enough  to  sway  susie  into  moving  to  brazil  during  the  spring  season  ,  away  from  her  beloved  manhattan  loft  ,  to  be  with  him  in  his  home  (  the  link  is  crucial  to  his  characterization  lmao  ,  as  lenny  kravitz  is  essentially  tommy  lever  )  .   when  she  can  ,  jules  visits  as  often  as  she’s  allowed  (  always  )  &  has  gained  a  room  herself  .

      after  that  ,   however  ,   the  cycle  between  her  various  homes  continued  ,   well  into  her  slipping  teendom  ,   &  when  the  prospect  of  college  crunched  down  on  her  ,   the choice  seemed  inevitable  .   nyu  gained  a  classics  &  theater  major  for  its  class  of  2019  (  she  skipped  the  third  grade  ,  a  fact  she  didn’t  stop  bragging  about  at  that  age  )  ,   but  in  her  senior  year  of  university  ,   the  walls  came  crashing  down  .

 what  sin  are  they  categorized  under  ?  why ?

jules  belongs  to  the  sin  of  #pride  through  &  through  .   after  all  ,   if  there  was  one  damning  trait  to  send  her  straight  into  the  pits  of  burning  infernos  ,  her  prideful  sense  of  self  would  be  it  .   that’s  not  to  say  she’s  arrogant  (  nor  am  i  saying  she  isn’t  )  ,  but  it’s  more  that  she  can’t  take  being  undermined  or  allow  the  supposed  undermining  to  go  unpunished  .   she  has  a  great  deal  of  #pride  in  her  own  self  worth  &  capabilities  ,  though  she’s  usually  loathe  to  make  it  known  in  plain  terms  ,  &  if  she  feels  attacked  in  that  manner  ,  she’ll  completely  close  up  .   this  often  ,  as  you’ll  surely  be  able  to  tell  ,   beckons  problematic  shit  .

 what  got  them  sent  to  the  academy  ?

      during  jules’  senior  year  at  nyu  ,  she  was  contacted  by  her  agent  (  shared  with  her  father  )  &  offered  an  audition  for  a  leading  role  in  a  major  hollywood  studio  film  .   throughout  the  years  ,  she  dabbled  in  theater  &  attracted  a  starring  role  or  two  along  the  way  ,  especially  in  school  productions  ,   but  the  plan  for  success  was  always  envisioned  after  college  .   when  she  got  the  call  ,  however  ,  she  handled  it  with  a  happy - go - lucky  fuck  it  sort  of  approach  ,  &  a  week  later  ,  when  she  received  the  good - bearing  call  ,  there  was  no  backing  out  ,  or  so  she  thought  .   tentatively  dropping  out  of  the  semester  in  which  she  would  graduate  ,  jules  modeled  the  next  few  months  of  her  life  around  the  film  ,  happily  doing  so  .   

      yet  ,  the  first  week  into  rehearsals  brought  down  a  cloud  so  dark  she  thought  she’d  choke  under  it  .   she  overheard  a  few  producers  on  their  lunch  break  ,  talking  about  this - & - that - esque  bullshit  ,  but  just  as  she  was  passing  ,  one  of  them  made  a  comment  about  the  peralta  girl  ,  &  how  hollywood  legacies  are  the  roaches  of  the  industry  .   how  directors  from  the  middle  ages  should  just  stick  to  ruining  things  behind  the  camera  ,  not  forcing  a  disaster  in  front  of  it  .   

      that  day  ,  jules  walked  out  of  set  &  never  took  a  step  back  in  .   effectively  ruining  her  future  career  in  the  process  ,  she  ghosted  all  contact  from  the  production  &  even  went  as  far  to  jet  off  to  brazil  to  regenerate  with  her  mom  as  an  escape  .   she  couldn’t  even  pick  up  where  she  left  off  during  the  semester  ,  &  simply  had  to  sit  back  &  witness  her  classmates  of  four  years  graduate  without  her  .   her  parents  were  furious  ,  but  the  only  thing  she  gave  in  return  was  a  steely  silence  ,  refusing  even  turn  a  glare  to  her  father  .   now  ,  she’s  been  shoved  into  the  hands  of  the  academy  ,  biding  the  days  until  she  could  return  to  nyu  in  the  fall  .  

what  do  you  think  they’ll  struggle  with  the  most  at  the  academy ?

tbh  ,  the  biggest  issue  for  jules  is  the  resentment  curling  at  her  core  .   at  her  father  ,  the  film  ,  the  academy  ,  herself  .   right  now  she’s  just  in  a  foul  mood  &  sick  at  being  forced  into  glitterati  rehab  ,  but  her  #pride  won’t  allow  her  to  fail  ,  even  if  she  wishes  to  do  it  just  to  spite  everyone  .   she  is  a  people  person  ,  however  ,  &  will almost  definitely  warm  up  ,  even  if  it’s  just  for  appearances  sake  .

extra  details  :  links  you’d  like  to  incorporate  ,  wanted  connections  ,  literally anything  else  you  want  to  include  ,  etc  .

wanted  connections  will  be  coming  soon  !   for  now  ,  please  enjoy  this  authentic  video  of  jules  chillin  in  her  fav  corner  of  the  world  ,  aka  italia  ,  taken  by  her  bff  eli  😔✌️

#unholyintro #icb how LATE my ass is w this gd intro #cue y'all throwing the torches and pitchforks @ me JDJKSDJSKDJDSKJDSDS #⋆ ╰ ` 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓂ℴ𝓃𝒹 ╱ 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ╱ 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 . : dev .

[margaritalevievablog]

Broadway world interview with Margarita

George StreetPlayhouse (GSP) will launch its 2018-19 season with the world premiere of The Trial of Donna Caine, a gripping courtroom drama byWalter Anderson, who served as the editor-in-chief of Parade magazine for 20 years prior to being named Chairman and CEO of Parade Publications.

The production stars Margarita Levievaalongside Flor De Liz Perez making her Playhouse debut as Staff Sgt. Donna Caine. They are joined by Playhouse alums, the two-time Tony Award nominee Peter Frechette,Kally Duling, Julia Brothers, and John Bolger. The cast is completed by Michael Cullen,Melissa Maxwell, and Ryan George.

When Marine Staff Sergeant Donna Caine is accused of a serious crime, highly respected attorney Emily Zola Ginsberg is convinced to take the case. Fighting for her client's future, Ginsberg finds herself taking on the military establishment in order to expose the truth.

Broadwayworld.com had the pleasure of interviewing Margarita Levieva about her career and her role as Emily Zola Ginsberg inThe Trial of Donna Caine.

Levieva is currently one of the leads in David Simon's critically acclaimed HBO drama The Deuce, starring opposite James Franco andMaggie Gyllenhaal. Margarita can next be seen in the independent feature Inherit the Viper opposite Josh Hartnett and Bruce Dern. She made her Broadway debut in 2009 with the play Impressionism at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre opposite Jeremy Ironsand Joan Allen. She has completed the Meisner Training Program at the William Esper Studio in New York. Margarita's past film credits include Diary of a Teenage Girl,Sleeping with Other People, James White, For Ellen, and Adventureland. Margarita's television credits include memorable roles in ABC's Revenge, NBC's Allegiance and The Blacklist, and HBO's Luck and How to Make It In America.

What was your earliest interest in the performing arts.

The moment I saw Maya Plisetskaya dance the BLACK SWAN on stage at the Mariinsky theatre in St. Petersburg, Russia, I knew I wanted to be up there, transforming and telling stories, like she was. I was 5-years-old.

We'd love to know a little about your education and how it has influenced your career.

I graduated NYU with a double major in economics and psychology. I also snuck in minors in philosophy, sociology, and Russian history. I was fascinated with the way the world works, and especially with the way people's brains work and why and how people make choices the way they do and lead lives that are so specific to them.

I ended up going to the William Esper studio for 2 1/2 years after college. For years, it was my Achilles' heel, feeling somehow inferior as an actor because I didn't get an official degree in acting and didn't go to graduate school for theatre.

But the longer I've worked professionally as an actor, the more I've appreciated the education I did receive. It's given me great insight into human behavior and has continued to help with characters I've played over the years.

Have you had any particular mentors?

Through the years, there have been many people I've looked up to, whom I've admired, both dead and alive. I learned so much from reading about their lives and choices they've made. I've also had the privilege of great teachers.

What advice do you have for people wishing to enter the acting profession?

Find out what who you are and never give up on that. Never try be like someone else. Hone your craft. Grow your personal voice. Read, watch, observe, stay curious. Only compare yourself to yourself. Remember that failure is part of the process, so learn from your mistakes and don't let them get you down.

There's no straightforward road to success, and anyway, success will not fill any voids that exist inside. So find things that do, and those are personal. Be kind to yourself. This business can be really tough. Sometimes getting work is not about talent or how good you are. So many variables are involved. Still work hard, because at least for me, that's how confidence is built.

Best advice I ever got is, "it's not a race, it's a marathon." So please stay the course, and when you want to give up, get quiet and listen to that little voice inside that wanted to do this in the first place.

Tell us about your role as Emily Zola Ginsberg in The Trial of Donna Caine and how you prepared for the part.

Emily Zola Ginsberg is a dream part for me. She is a survivor. She's very strong, highly intelligent, and deeply intuitive. She's incredibly good at her job, as one of the most successful attorneys in the country. And as many survivors, she carries a deep wound that is the driving force of so much of her life.

Going back to my years as a psychology major, Emily is an incredible study in what makes someone who they are, how one deals with unbearable loss, and the path they choose for themselves from there. Many don't get out alive. Some are completely debilitated. And then others thrive. But at what cost? What is constantly there lurking beneath the surface, hidden behind the facade? These were all things I thought about when it came to Emily. Obviously there was a lot of research into law and politics, and what daily life for an attorney looks like. I watched a lot of real-life court cases, as well as TV shows with attorneys and films. Ultimately it was about discovering what Emily's specific style is, and that came from doing a lot of backstory work on my own.

How do you like working at GSP?

I cried the first time I walked into the theatre. It's such a special place. Unbelievable how they transformed a barn into a performance space. It feels so intimate, yet, once you're out in the audience, the space feels grand.

Tell us about the cast and creative for The Trial of Donna Caine.

Our cast and crew is a gift. Every day we walk in talking about how lucky we are. And of course, a lot of that is due to David Saintand his ability to bring together the perfect team, on all fronts.

What would you like metro audiences to know about the show?

The show is deeply moving and wildly entertaining.

Can you share with us some of your future plans?

I'm excited to get back to the third season ofThe Deuce, which starts filming in February.

You can follow Margarita Levieva on Instagram @Margosha777

The Trial of Donna Caine will run from 10/16 to 11/11 at George Street's current venue, 103 College Farm Road in New Brunswick, NJ with Opening Night set for Friday, October 19. To purchase tickets or for more information, visit the George StreetPlayhouse website athttps://georgestreetplayhouse.org/ or call the box office at 732-246-7717.

#margarita levieva #the trial of donna caine #article #interview

[eallisnwndrlnd]

Finally graduating college today. It only took me 19 years after graduating high school to get here. Was not easy to get to this point but reaching one of my goals makes all the sacrifices and hardships worth it.

From the time I started preschool in San Francisco, kindergarten in the Philippines and Hawaii, elementary through high school in L.A. (1.5 years in San Bruno) I knew I would want to finish college but at the time I graduated in 2000 I couldn't afford to go to any college let alone my dream college NYU. Even at my age I knew what debt was and dealing with financial hardships from my mother growing up. I was not about to take up loans I could in no way pay back in my lifetime. So I went to work and took classes in photography at Skyline College, Pasadena City college, Southwest School of Arts, and advertising in Arts Institute of Pittsburgh online when I had the time and money.

I worked and worked and worked...first taking on jobs in retail and sales eventually moving up to management for 10 years then accounting in hospitality promoting up to billing coordinator for 9 years.

Once I turned 30, I started assessing my life and found that despite having a decent job at a company that was good with great benefits, while working with many people I had the honor of calling friends to this day, and getting paid just enough to get by, as well as being able to travel at least once a year, eat out at great places, and have a nice social life with friends and family...I found that I was still missing something.

I promised myself when I was a teenager that I would never settle and allow myself to be comfortable. I was serious when I said I'd rather live a rollercoaster than a carousel any day when asked by my teacher (I was the only one in class who chose it) When asked why, I said that even though there will be downs there will be moments of many ups which at times could peak very high. I wanted adventure, excitement and to constantly push myself passed my comfort zone and what I thought I was capable of.

But while assessing my 30 years, I found that I had become comfortable. So even though my life was going well enough (even though others may not think it was but compared to my childhood it was great), I decided that I needed to get out of my self made rut and dive into the unknown. I knew that I wanted more out of my career then having just a decent paying job with benefits. I wanted something I was passionate about...something that would drive me to be at my best and keep me motivated to improve constantly. That was not going to be found in accounting. (I hate math).

I decided I wanted to go back to college but I was again met with the whole "college is freaking expensive" thing. I was working full time with no car and only had access to buses that didn't run late enough to go to night classes plus I wanted out of the city I lived in for 10 years, especially the state. I knew many who had graduated out of the country and some from the Philippines. I also knew how affordable it was to go to school there. The added bonus was that my mom's family home was there and that would mean no rent expenses. I made my decision and gave my early notice to my boss so we'd be able to prepare for my replacement within 1 year. All while working, I tried to make more time with family and friends, explore my city and outskirts more, as well as eat my way through many different restaurants, make more time to volunteer, and started getting rid of a lot of my stuff and pack.

A year later, I moved me and my mom to the Philippines and settled in our house. The following year I started freshman year at University of Batangas at the age of 32. As daunting as it was to be surrounded by classmates who were or almost half my age and reentering academics after 15 years of being away from school, not to mention a huge language barrier and cultural differences, I was also excited.

There were many moments where I feared I got myself in over my head and questioned whether I made the right decision but despite those times of self doubt I pushed on and just tried to do my best. As an adult I found that I enjoyed and respected the chance to study and be in school. All the more I wanted to push myself harder to achieve what I never tried to accomplish before when I was younger. I first gave myself a goal to make Dean's list at least once. Then upon obtaining that small goal I wanted to reach higher and higher. Each time I found abilities in myself that I wasn't even aware I had within me. At my moments of weakness I drew up strength, for all the mistakes I made, I sucked in knowledge, and every failure I made I gained endurance. Each dip, each fall made me that more determined to accomplish my goal and reach higher than I could imagine.

Four years later, I am graduating. Not just graduating but graduating cum laude. Never had imagined myself capable of reaching that high when I started but as i got closer to the end i had only started to hope that all my efforts would pay off. And it did. I'm on cloud nine. And this is only the beginning of a new adventure.

#school #student life #college years #goals #life goals

[biancaarivera]

signed, sealed, delivered i'm yours 🏈🌟 griffanca

TAGGING→ @biancaarivera & @griffinsayoc

WHEN→ End of semester

WHERE→ Brittany Hall 

GENERAL NOTES→ Bianca’s ‘B-Hall’s Second Floor Crew Rooftop Extravaganza’ goes off without a hitch, especially when she gets to spend most of her time with Griffin. Catch these feels with a dash of vandalism below.

Bianca leaned her back against the ledge that set the parameter of the rooftop, the cool bricks scratching against her exposed back, and sipped the orange soda from her red solo cup. Her eyes skirted around the party, absorbing each and every member of her second floor community that had actually shown up for one last hoorah before their spring semester officially came to an end. Everyone told her that the friendships she would forge her freshman year would almost certainly come to an end. People changed, especially after parting ways for summer break, which made it impossible for anything real to survive. In that moment, with familiar faces surrounding her reflecting fondly on their time together the last several months, she didn’t believe that it was possible to lose touch with any of them. She imagined them meeting again next year on the rooftop, drinking orange soda and eating store bought sugar cookies, and every year after that. It was unrealistic, of course, but she thought that she could pretend for just one night that everything was perfect and so she did. Her eyes landed on a familiar pair of beat up sneakers and her heart skipped a beat in her chest. Before she even looked up she knew exactly who it was. Griffin. He was talking animatedly to a few others and she smiled fondly even though she was jealous that she wasn’t part of the conversation. Although Griffin would deny it, he was the kind of person that everyone wanted to be best friends with. It was obvious, too. Everyone on their floor admired him dearly. She waited patiently until his conversation died down and held her hand up to wave at him, desperately hoping to gain his attention even if it were just for a few minutes. Griffin was always glad when semesters came to an end, but there was something especially satisfying about this one. Sure his grades weren’t as good as he or his coaches wanted them to be, but after everything he’d gone through, he was just glad that he made it to the end. Not only had he survived, but as he was surrounded by friends laughing, joking around, and overall enjoying themselves. There was really one person he had to thank for that more than all others, and that wasn’t just because she was currently the party host. “One more minute and the whole thing would have been full of Jell-O,” he added to the conversation for another round of laughs. With a smile still on his face, Griffin felt the familiar feeling of someone looking at him. Turning to see who it was without giving it much thought, his smile only grew when he saw it was Bianca. The current party host, and in a lot of ways his personal savior, waved him over, and Griffin gladly walked her direction. “Looking for someone to get you a refill?” he joked as he gestured towards her cup. “Since I’m officially still your RA, I probably shouldn’t tell you that there’s some pretty suspicious smelling drinks floating around here.” Bianca straightened her shoulders and ran her fingers across the fabric of the skirt of her white halter dress, hoping that she looked as good as she thought she did before she left her dorm room that morning, as Griffin made his way over to where she sat. Before he even opened his mouth to say something, she was already smiling. She used to be embarrassed by it, by the way she was always smiling whenever she was around him, but then she realized that he was always smiling back at her and suddenly it was her favorite thing to do. It felt like the best type of thing to share with someone. A giggle escaped from her lips and she shook her head at him, holding her hand up to stop him before he dived into his dorm rule handbook. “Hey I never promised that everyone would listen to my no alcohol rule!” she warned. “If it counts for anything, I’m completely sober. You can even check my cup if you want,” she offered playfully, thrusting the red solo cup into the air before her. “You should sit with me, though. Or are you too busy being the life of the party to spare poor little me a few minutes?” she teased and provided a tiny pout in hopes of reeling him in. Griffin narrowed his eyes in mock suspicion as he peaked into her cup. Even if it had contained anything that it shouldn’t have, he wouldn’t have been able to tell it from where he was, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. “I’ll let you slide this time,” he teased before taking a spare chair and pulling it over closer so that he could join her. There was absolutely no denying that pout when it was used. If you asked him, it was even more effective than puppy dog eyes, but then again they did usually seem to accompany it. “I don’t know about being any sort of life of the party,” he said with a small shake of his head and a bashful grin on his face. “This whole thing is all for you.” Looking around the rooftop for a moment, he noticed just what a great turnout that she had. Sure it wasn’t too hard to get people to follow once the word ‘party’ was said, but he believed it was more than that. Everyone on their second floor got along surprisingly well for being a group from such different background, and he knew Bianca was a big part of it. No matter how busy she was with work, rehearsing, or even saving the world, she always seemed to make time to bring some happiness to his life. “I consider myself lucky to be talking this party’s queen. You sure you’re not going to miss this place a little?” Bianca beamed as Griffin decided to stay, pulling a chair up right next to where she sat. She pretended to wipe a sheen of imaginary sweat from her forehead as he checked her cup, a relieved “Whew, thank goodness,” falling from her lips. She had decided ages ago that landing Griffin as an RA was truly a blessing. Not only was he a chill kind of guy who gave her and her neighbors freedom to be true college kids as long as they didn’t do anything too wild, but he was one of her closest friends. In fact, out of all of the people that she had met during her freshman year at NYU, she was certain that he was her favorite. She rolled her eyes at him and tried to brush off his compliment, but his words caused her head to drop down bashfully in order to conceal her blushing. “I don’t know if they’re here just for me. Susannah in 234 still calls me Brianna even though we had the same history class together on top of living on the same floor.” Deep down Bianca knew that people liked her. She wasn’t as personable as Griffin, but she definitely knew how to make friends now that she was in college. She credited it to becoming more comfortable in her skin and, even though she had Sawyer to deal with, life didn’t feel like such a huge competition anymore. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she peered back up at him with a smile on her face. “I think I’m going to miss this place more than a little,” she corrected. “You know, when I found out that I’d be rooming with Sawyer, I begged my dads’ to help me figure a way to opt out of the first-year housing rule. I’m really glad they made me stay,” she admitted, laughing softly. Would anything have been the same if she hadn’t lived in Brittany Hall? Would she have made friends with Griffin? Would she even be a Ranger? Some things felt like fate and she liked to believe that both would still be true regardless of her living arrangements. It felt especially true at times like this, with him looking at her with his dark eyes and a smile playing at the corners of his lips. She could easily stay like this for the rest of her life. “My studio is great, though, which I’ve already told you,” she finally added. “I can’t wait to be sleeping in a full sized bed again.” Griffin chuckled to himself as Bianca explained Susannah couldn’t get her name right. He couldn’t really argue with her there, but he knew that was one example out of a full roof of people. Looking over at her and seeing the bashful smile on her face, he hoped that she’d realized the same. Knowing her name or not, she’d touched a lot of lives, and that wasn’t even counting the ones she’d saved by being a power ranger. “I’m really glad that they made you stay, too,” he added before taking a drink from the soda he’d been holding. Imagining the year without Bianca on his floor seemed impossible. Their lives had become too intertwined after their shared potential world ending experiences. They went together and without her, the memories would have had a much more sinister ending. It wasn’t something that he would ever be forgetting. “And that they didn’t get you moved to another room on some other floor.” Griffin set his now empty cup down by his feet and rested his forearms against his legs so that he could lean in and hear her over the lively conversations that surrounded them. “Well now you’re just bragging,” he teased at the mention of a full sized bed to spread out over. “Some of us are still going to be suffering on baby sized dorm ones. I wonder if I can fit by bed from home in my suitcase somehow.” Bianca paused, nodding her head ever so slightly as his words reached her ears. I’m really glad that they made you stay, too. Nothing was more validating than having him admit that. Even though the admission most likely meant nothing serious, she still took it seriously. Things had been weird for a while during their school year, with Griffin being held hostage by Devone and saying things that he hadn’t meant yet still managed to hurt her feelings. Even though she was well aware that it wasn’t him who had been so mean to her, there was this tiny fear that he truly felt negatively about her and she’d worry if she was being too intense, too annoying, too… Bianca. But then he said things like that, things that he could casually drop into their conversation before sipping from his pop, and she was reminded that Griffin liked her exactly the way she was. Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach when he leaned over to her, so close that she could count the freckles on his cheeks if she wanted to (she wanted to) and smell his cologne (it was one of her favorites that she had grown to love after spending countless nights in his dorm watching Netflix), Bianca grinned. And then with what little bravery she had in her, she scooted her own chair over to close the distance between them, the metal legs scraping against the concrete roof. Her knee bumped into his leg and she didn’t move it, instead liking the way his jeans felt against her soft skin. She giggled at his jealousy of her living situation, punching him lightly in the shoulder. “I’m not bragging! Okay, maybe a little bit. At least you’re used to the extra long twin beds by now?” she offered hopefully. “Maybe some sort of shrinking device exists out there that can help you with that. I think your room would be 90% bed if you did that, though. If you ever feel too cramped, you’re more than welcome to spend the night at my place. Eury claims that I’m a bed hog but it’s not true at all.” Griffin allowed the soft punch to sway him in his chair like the hit had contained a lot more power than it actually had. There was no doubt that she could pack a lot of power in those small fists of hers if she really wanted to, he’d faced her in a fight before after all, but luckily for him, those days were behind them. Things were much better now. Outside of possibly dealing with sore cheeks from smiling too much, there wasn’t any danger involved. “Let’s never bring that shrink ray idea up around Syria.” Griffin said her name softer so that no one wandering by could overhear that part of their conversation. “She’d probably do it, and it’d go wrong and we’d all end up like in that one movie where the kids get shrunk and they’re stuck in the backyard.” Looking over at Bianca when he heard her offer, he couldn’t help the confusion that crinkled his forehead anymore than he could the blush that colored his freckled cheeks. “Oh, uhm, I,” he very unhelpfully stumbled over his words as he struggled to pick out words that actually made any sort of sense. “You and Eury before, huh?” he finally settled on with a soft chuckle. He’d spent a lot of time with Bianca, and a lot of that even hanging out together on a bed as they watched movies, but none of that prepared him for thinking about Bianca in bed. “I bet you at least steal covers,” he teased as he recovered from the thoughts her invite had put in his head. Bianca grabbed onto Griffin’s arm to stop him from swaying. “Oh, stop it!” she yelled at him exasperatedly through the smile on her face, giving his bicep a little squeeze before letting go. As amusing as the thought of a shrinking device was, she had to nod her head in agreement when Griffin expressed his concern. “You’re probably right. There’s no way that something like that wouldn’t backfire on us, especially if it fell into the wrong hands. If we want to relive Honey, I Shrunk the Kids we should just make a trip to Disney World and go on the movie set ride,” she replied. Even though she had become desensitized to the madness that the universe was by her Ranger duties, if she thought about all of it she was still shocked that a shrink device could actually be made by her alien roommate. All thoughts of aliens and Rangers and strange devices flew out of her head when she noticed Griffin’s bashfulness over her boudoir offer. If it weren’t for the bright city lights and the lamp posts that lined the building she wouldn’t have been able to make out his blush in the dim lighting, but she did and it made her worry that she had said the wrong thing. But then his facial features smoothed back out and a gentle laugh fell from his lips and she was able to breathe again. “Nope, not even a cover stealer but I will stick my cold hands and feet on you,” she warned in an enticing tone. She could picture having private slumber parties with Griffin, where they ate take out and cuddled as they watched movies. That would require them to maintain their friendship though and with how busy they both were, she was scared it’d be difficult. “I just don’t want us to lose touch, you know? It’s easy to be friends with someone when you bump into them on a daily basis. I don’t want us to be the people who always make plans with each other but never follow through with them until one day, they stop making plans altogether because their friendship obviously doesn’t matter anymore and the only way they know about each other’s lives is by random Facebook or Instagram updates,” she babbled, her eyebrows drawing together as her fears spilled out. “I would hate to find out about your wedding from photos shared on Facebook.” Griffin had never been to Disney World before, but he had no doubts that it would be much better than somehow living out the movie in real life. Just imagining the giant dust bunnies they’d face if shrunk in his dorm room was enough for him to know that he didn’t want to go out that way. There had to be other ways. “That’s even worse than stealing covers,” he teased as he imagined her ice cold feet finding him under the otherwise warm bedding. It sounded a lot better than he was pretending. As Bianca’s tone turned more serious, he leaned his leg over to gently press against hers. “Hey, there’s no way that’s going to happen,” he said with complete certainty in his voice. “We’ve been through too much, and you’re sort of one of my best friends.” Outside of Liam, Bianca was the person he felt most comfortable going to with things. “I feel like I can talk to you about, you know, stuff. Can’t really tell anyone else all the crazy stuff I’ve been through.” He looked over at her with a hopefully reassuring grin on his face. “Besides, I don’t really use Facebook.” “Then I guess I’m the worst person to share a bed with,” Bianca retorted in a sing song voice before she blew him a kiss, feigning self absorption. She could pick up Griffin’s teasing from a mile away, especially after having endured a year of whatever their quick back and forth banter was. “Luckily for you, when you sleep over I’ll be kind enough to wear socks,” she assured. Her fears slowly dissipated and her heart swelled in her chest when he promised her that they wouldn’t grow apart. “No way, huh?” she began to tease her way out of her feelings, but ended up dropping her gaze to her lap where her hands were clasped together. Although she had secretly yearned for more, she could more than happily settle with being just friends with Griffin- especially if that meant best friends. She pushed her leg back against his before peering up at him through her lashes. “You’re absolutely one of my best friends. And not just because of the island and… everything else that we’ve been through. I like you for you,” she finished. Lightening the mood, Bianca squinted her eyes and pursed her lips to stop from grinning. “I know, you’re way too cool for social media. Which is ultra annoying because whenever you do post something it still manages to get a million likes,” she exaggerated. Griffin hadn’t realized just how good it would feel to have the sentiment echoed back to him until it happened. Despite living on earth for nearly a dozen years, he never fully overcame the doubts that his childhood on Nexus instilled in him. Rejection and being told he was unworthy and a bad person stuck with him, making it hard for him to get close to people. He liked to hold people at an arm’s distance both for his safety and for theirs. Bianca had managed to sneak past his defenses and into his head before he’d even realized it. “Then looks like neither of us are getting rid of each other.” Griffin laughed as Bianca poked fun at his social media habits. “Don’t hate because people love my photography skills.” People followed Griffin for a number of reasons, being QB at NYU being the most common, but it was safe to say that no one followed him for his abilities taking pictures. It didn’t require much skill to point his phone at whatever he was eating (or more likely his empty plate filled with crumbs since he forgot to snap it before), but he liked to pretend all the same. “The trick is to always leave them wanting more.” Bianca let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding as Griffin jumped into another joke about his socials, but her mind was still buzzing with his affirmation. Without saying another word, she twisted in her chair and threw her arms around his shoulders to pull him into a tight hug. There were only so many things that could satisfy Bianca and her incredibly high standards. The fact that Griffin could so easily do it scared her sometimes, but mostly she was grateful that he had chosen her back. As her fingers gripped at the ends of his curly dark hair, she knew that no matter what they were both in this for the long haul. Brittany Hall was just another chapter coming to an end and despite how sad it was, she was excited to see where the future would take them. But their business wasn’t quite done with the dorms. Reluctantly detaching herself from him, she reached over to the opposite side of her chair and grabbed her purse, pulling out two sharpies, a small bottle of nail polish, and a sheet of gold star stickers for good measure. She arched an eyebrow at him with a sly grin on her face. “I know I’ve already asked you to break the rules for me,” she began, holding out her hand to stop him from interrupting before she finished her spiel. “But, I always want us to be apart of B-Hall. This is where we first met and we have so many great memories here together, it’d be a shame if we didn’t leave our mark. I want to be able to come back here in ten years and have a tangible memory to look at. So,” she stood up, her dress swishing around her thighs. “Let’s find the perfect spot to place our autographs.” Griffin saw Bianca turning her chair, but he was still surprised to find her arms around his shoulders, tugging him into a strong hug. While he didn’t really shy away from physical affection, it wasn’t something he was used to either. Despite being caught off guard, Griffin kicked his mind into gear and back into action, sliding his arms around her back to hug her close to his chest. The sweet scent of her shampoo overwhelmed his senses in the best way until the hug ended and he leaned back into his chair somewhat awkwardly. Like always, Bianca clearly had a plan on her mind, and he was just glad to be along for the ride. As she began to explain, he tried to hold back a smile. She anticipated anything he could say to discourage her before he’d even thought it. It was one of the many things he liked about her. She knew what she wanted, and she went after it. Maybe one day she wouldn’t be out to break dorm rules, but he knew he’d miss it when that time came. “A little destruction of property?” he teased since it was expected of him more than actually being against it. It wasn’t like school officials frequented the roof looking for autographs left behind. “I’m just glad you didn’t have a can of spray paint hiding in there.” Griffin caught himself glancing at Bianca’s legs as she’d stood up, putting them closer at his eye level than they usually were. Embarrassed and hoping she didn’t notice, he stood up to join her. “Lead the way, Superstar.” Bianca’s face brightened when Griffin decided to go along with her plan, instantly linking her arm through his and pulling him in the direction of the opposite end of the roof. “We aren’t destructing the property. If anything, we’re adding value to this building,” she promised as they navigated through the crowd. She would never let him know that she had already thought forever about where the perfect spot to sign their names would be, but she had. It was the south corner of the building and in that exact spot one could obtain the most wonderful view of the New York City skyline. Abandoning her position glued to his side, she stepped forward into the corner and carefully set her tools down. She placed her hands atop the ledge and ran them across the scratchy brick surface, as if she was summoning the universe to tell her where to begin writing. She tapped her finger right in the middle, where the corner came together, and looked over her shoulder at him. “What do you think?” Griffin shook his head with an amused smile on his face. He didn’t think her reasoning would fly if they were to actually got caught, but he was positive they wouldn’t. He had a feeling that the administration was already looking the other way about their spontaneous roof party. It wasn’t exactly a quiet affair after all, but after a long semester, they all deserved to blow off some steam. Following Bianca through the party and over to the opposite side of the building, he took in the view in front of them. It was a big difference from the slums of Nexus where he’d spent his childhood hiding. “It’s perfect,” he agreed as he reached his hand over to run it along the brick surface she’d chosen. “A little suspicious at how fast you picked it,” he teased, softly bumping his shoulder against hers. “But I like it. It’s a great view. I think it’s worthy of your autograph.” Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Griffin turned on the flashlight so they could better see there brick where they’d be writing. “We’ll have to come back up here every year or so to make sure it’s still here.” Bianca leaned back against Griffin’s arm when he bumped his shoulder into her, tilting her head back to see his face better. “Shush,” she admonished, quickly pressing her pointer finger against his lips. She turned away from him as soon as he used the flashlight on his phone to light up her writing surface and grabbed the permanent marker, popping the cap off and sticking it on the other end. Tossing her long dark hair over her shoulders, she leaned forward and began to sign her name in her neat and loopy cursive handwriting. Bianca had been the girl in high school whose doodling routine consisted of her repetitively jotting down every possible variation of her signature before deciding on the perfect one and committing it to her memory. “Well, let’s hope that NYU never hires a competent security crew so that we can always sneak up here,” she slowly said as she concentrated on the movement of her hand. It didn’t matter if there was the best security ever, Bianca would make sure to always find a way for them to come back to the roof. She grabbed her sheet of star stickers and carefully placed one right after her last name, nodding her head in satisfaction. “Your turn!” she exclaimed, passing him the marker and grabbing onto his phone. Griffin smiled against Bianca’s finger, but obeyed as he stood there silently for a moment, taking it all in. They’d already overcome a lot through the year, and leaving their signatures behind as they continued on to even bigger and better things felt important in a way that he hadn’t expected it to. Of course there was still a long way and many classes to go, but the fact that he had hope for it all again meant everything. Glancing around as Bianca mentioned competent security, that they clearly didn’t have at the moment based on how none had broken up the party, Griffin shook his head. “You’ll have to use your winning smile on them if they do,” he said as he looked back and saw her perfectly looped signature was finished and even had a star at the end to match it. Taking the marker from her hand, he hunched over slightly as he scribbled his much messier autograph beside it. “What’s a guy gotta do to get a fancy sticker by his name?” he asked as he recapped the marker and admired their names written together. Deciding he’d make up for his lack of preparation in the sticker department, he uncapped the marker again and added a poorly drawn football after his name. “There. Perfect.” Bianca ducked her head and tucked her hair behind her ear, discreetly touching her cheek in the process to feel if she was blushing or not. Unsurprisingly, she was, but it didn’t stop her from flashing him the best smile she could manage even though she was sure he wouldn’t notice. “It’s kind of silly, I know,” she replied, hoping that Griffin didn’t think she was a complete loser for being a freshman in college still signing her name with stickers. It had become a habit of hers and she liked the way a shiny gold star looked beside her name. She also liked how Griffin’s name looked beside hers and decided that they were a great combo in every sense. “I think you should consider majoring in art,” she commented, pointing to the little football he had drawn beside his name. As an additional protective measure, Bianca covered their markings with a coat of clear nail polish. “I think that this is the best that we could do considering the materials we’re working with. I love it,” she confirmed, her eyes trained on their masterpiece. It had been the worst and best year of her life and yet there they were, standing on a rooftop on a warm spring evening. She was happy despite it all and she hoped that he was too. “Thank you,” she finally added, turning to face him. “For everything.” And for the second time that night, she wrapped her arms around him for a gentle hug, her hands pressing against his back and her face hidden against his chest. Griffin shook his head with a small smile refusing to leave his lips. “I don’t think it’s silly,” he added as he watched her preserve their impromptu artwork. He was no longer surprised at how prepared she was for things. Whether she’d had this plan in mind before she got to party or not, Bianca had everything they needed either way. “Me? I should be thanking you.” Griffin wrapped his arms around Bianca and hugged her snugly to his chest. In his mind, it was impossible to thank her enough for everything she’d done for him. Making him feel like he was special and worthy of being remembered was only the latest in a long list of things he was grateful for. “So, thank you,” he said, doing exactly what he said he should be. “It’s cool to be a part of something like this. It’s like we’ll always have a part of us here. I mean, you know what I mean…I hope.”

#post: para #p: 014 #p: gs #griffin

[forkanna]

Some of you have probably been wondering where the Elsanna truly starts to kick in. Well...

[AO3 LINK] 

See also: @pankite​

"It's been so nice, Punzie." Anna smiled to herself as she leaned against a tree. It was a little later in the evening, the kids passed off to the care of the older deans so the younger counselors could have the rest of the night to themselves. Elsa told Anna that she had to help in the cafeteria, so she wandered about in search of Rapunzel to keep her company. Having found her, they began to chat about recent events. "It really feels… like we're sisters again and it's been wonderful."

"That's so good to hear," Rapunzel glowed, laying a hand on Anna's arm. "I mean, yeah, I was pretty worried, but… wow. She really came around."

"She did." It was the perfect evening; warm but not hot, with just enough of a chill breeze to keep the bugs away without being too much. The sun hadn't begun to set just yet, so Anna was basking in the warmth of the rays, sighing and closing her eyes. Upon feeling her friend's hand on her arm, she opened her eyes with a grin. "So how did your phone call with Flynn go last night?"

Warming to the subject, she gushed, "Well… he says he's been wanting to kiss me for a while now. He was just afraid I wouldn't want to! So… so we're going to try it when camp is over." Her cheeks were bunching from the sheer force of her giddy grin.

"That's wonderful," Anna congratulated, pleased to see her friend so happy. "What are your plans after we're done here?"

"I just told you," she whispered conspiratorially, and they both giggled. "For serious, though… I'm in at NYU, but Flynn isn't, so I signed up for a local college for the first year. Like, New York would be cool, but being away from him would so not. A whole other country, y'know?"

"Yeah I feel you," Anna grinned. "I wouldn't want to leave my significant other, either. Heck, just thinking about being away from Elsa again after this upsets me! I don't know how you would be able to part with Flynn."

She didn't like thinking about that fact. In three weeks, she and Elsa would be separated again and even though Anna knew Elsa wouldn't ignore her anymore, the thought that her mother might pull another stunt made her heart clench painfully in her chest. She already felt like she was going through a withdrawal if she was away from Elsa for more than an hour; she didn't want to think about being an entire two day's journey away from her.

"Gosh… you really missed her, huh?" Rapunzel breathed in wonder. "I wish I had a sibling like that. Maybe… maybe you can go to the same university! Wouldn't that be the grooviest?"

Despite using a word like "grooviest", Anna perked up at the suggestion. "I didn't think about that," she said excitedly. "Punzie! You're a genius!" Sure, Anna would have to plan such a spontaneous decision but the more she thought about it, the more eager she grew until she was practically buzzing with excitement to tell Elsa the wonderful idea.

"Right! And I mean, I can tell you're super smart, so wherever Elsa's going, you can probably get into that school, or at least one of the ones nearby — like, don't all the major cities have a few unis?" Getting caught up in Anna's fervor, Rapunzel even hopped up and down a little, her tiny braids flopping all over. "Geeze Louise, I wish I could go to a school with a sibling! It's like having a built-in friend!"

"A built-in friend whose life goal is to be as annoying as possible." Anna smiled at Rapunzel's shared enthusiasm and it made her heart feel warm and pleasant as she relaxed more against the tree. It had been a long time since Anna had felt so content and happy, and she relished the feeling. "I'll think of something."

"Good, good," she replied with a wide grin. "And I dunno if you meant you or Elsa is 'annoying as possible,' but I hope it's not you! Since I kinda disagree."

"Thanks," Anna giggled, "but it's a two way street; as her sister I have permission to irritate her just as much as she does me." 'Not that Elsa could ever actually annoy me anymore…' She let out a blissful sigh.

"Do you, really?"

That wasn't Rapunzel talking. When Anna's eyes opened again, it was to see Elsa standing there, hands on hips and a playful smirk on her soft-looking lips. Anna grinned brightly up at her.

"Of course, that's how it works," she chirped, walking over to give Elsa a hug. "I thought you said you were busy? That didn't take very long."

"I was just setting something up." She nodded at Rapunzel and said, "Hey."

Rapunzel cleared her throat and waved. "H-hi. Um… so, you're Anna's sister? That's pretty cool."

"Yeah," Elsa snorted, and Rapunzel looked both relieved and chagrined at the same time. "It's the coolest. Do you mind if I borrow said sister for a little while? I have something I want to show her."

"Huh? Oh, sure, yeah! Go for it, do whatever!"

Anna tilted her head curiously and purposely ignored the horde of butterflies that suddenly invaded her stomach. "I'll talk to you later, Punzie," she said to her friend, though her eyes never left Elsa as she said it. "Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

"Oh, don't worry, I don't do anything," Rapunzel laughed with a little wave as the sisters moved off together.

Elsa wouldn't answer Anna's repeated questions as she led her across the campgrounds, a little way into the trees. She just pulled her along by her hand, ducking under branches and climbing over fallen logs, until she pulled her into a small clearing.

"Dinner is served," she breathed over her shoulder at Anna with a small smile.

The red-haired sister gasped at the picnic spread, forgiving Elsa instantly for the secrecy and unexpected hike at the sight of all the treats and delicious food scattered across the blanket. It was protected by a bug net, a nice bit of foresight that was so like Elsa that it made Anna's heart soar with love.

"How did you manage all this?" she asked.

"The pastors and camp directors adore me." Walking over to sit at the edge of the blanket, she quickly shucked her hiking boots before folding her legs under herself, facing the spread. Anna followed Elsa's lead, taking off her shoes before settling down across from her. The smell of the food was delightful and Anna's stomach growled loudly. "Didn't take much, and I worked with what they already had in the kitchens."

"Is this why you told me not to eat lunch?" she questioned her sister, taking in the beautiful view. There was an abundance of flowers in the meadow Elsa had chosen and from what Anna could tell, they would have a perfect view of the sun once it began to set. It was a beautiful sight and Anna's grin stretched all the wider. "This is so beautiful, Elsa, how on earth did you find this place?"

Smiling as she began to open a couple of the containers, she responded, "Stumbled across it last year. I'm… well, you might have noticed I don't spend a lot of time with the other counselors. Aurora and I have a grudging respect, but beyond that, everyone else steers clear." Realising she was complaining a lot, she let out a self-conscious little laugh. "S-sorry."

Anna tilted her head and smiled sympathetically. "Hey, it's okay." She rested her hand on Elsa's arm briefly. "I'm sorry you never got along with anyone… but you have me now." Then she pulled her hand away and chuckled awkwardly, the butterflies having intensified at the contact. Instead she focused on the food, taking a plate and starting to load it up. "This smells great, did you make it all?"

"Y-yes. You remember how good a cook Mama was. I know she was starting to teach both of us, but when… well, after that, I got all of the focus." Sitting another container close to Anna, she then said, "Where was I? Oh! I was just going to say that I had a lot of free time to walk around in the woods. Found this spot one weekend afternoon when I had nothing else to do."

"It's lovely," Anna said, placing her plate down once it was full and handing the second plate to Elsa. "All of this is wonderful, Elsa; thank you so much for sharing this with me."

Boldly, she leaned in and planted a kiss at the corner of Elsa's mouth, ignoring the way her whole body overheated and her mind screamed how inappropriate the gesture was. The blonde blinked in surprise, then smiled very shyly, staring down at her hands as the smile highlighted her pink cheeks.

"You're welcome. I just… I wanted to start making up for lost time."

Elsa was so cute and Anna beamed and blushed faintly at the bashful expression on her face. "Well then! Let's dig in!" she exclaimed, eager to dig into the food. The first bite made her hum in contentment. "Is this Mom's butter chicken recipe?" she asked in bliss. It was one of her favourite dishes as a child and the taste was almost identical to how she remembered it.

"You know it!" Elsa laughed, cheeks still tinged with pink as she began to fill her own plate. "That was the only thing that was hard to make happen, since they had to let me actually work in the kitchen instead of just taking a few things from the pantry."

It took all of her willpower not to devour the entire thing right then and there. Instead she forced herself to eat slowly, savouring every bite and enjoying the presence of her sister across from her. A few times, Anna had to hold back a soft noise as a particularly savoury morsel hit her tongue.

And Elsa spent a lot of time casting affectionate glances over at her as she more delicately consumed her own food. Shy and awkward as she was acting, she was clearly beyond thrilled to be there with her, and had gone to so much trouble to set up the picnic in the woods.

It was pleasant and there was even something kind of romantic about the whole thing — a private picnic in a beautiful clearing during a sunset. Anna watched as the rays of the dying sun bathed her sister in a glow, her hair looking especially brilliant under the golden rays. The same feeling that seized her at the beach overwhelmed her now, leaving her breathless and her thoughts reeling at just how breathtaking and wonderful Elsa was.

"I love you," slipped out before Anna could stop it.

Of course, all Elsa did was look up from her butter tart and smile serenely over at Anna. "I love you, too. What was that for?"

Anna blushed intensely. "I- I just thought you should know." She covered up the slip like it was intentional and gave Elsa a sheepish grin. "I mean- I need to catch up on all those times I missed the opportunity."

"Well, I can't argue with that logic." She took a bite of her tart, but she continued to watch Anna while she chewed. Then she gently prodded, "But I think there's more on your mind than just that."

"N-Nonsense," Anna chuckled nervously and took a bite of her meal, cursing herself inwardly; she needed to work harder on keeping those kinds of thoughts to herself. "I- I just missed you, that's all."

A playful smile flitted across Elsa's face. "I see. Then maybe I shouldn't sit so far away." Popping the rest of her dessert into her mouth, she brushed off her hands and moved a couple of things, then sat herself down a bare inch or two on Anna's left.

Her whole body tingled as Elsa settled down comfortably beside her, so close that their skin would brush when one of them breathed. Anna got a clear view of Elsa's slender throat as she swallowed the treat she had popped into her mouth, followed by what Anna's feverish brain could've sworn was a slightly flirty smile. It took Anna several seconds to remember how to breathe.

"T-This works," she managed to get out, nerve endings frazzled when Elsa placed a gentle hand on her arm.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" Elsa breathed, quietly, intimately from how close they were. "You still seem nervous, or distracted… something."

"D-Does it seem a little hot to you?" Anna asked, resisting the urge to fan herself as she avoided the question. Not because she was intentionally keeping things from Elsa but because she honestly didn't know why she was so nervous. It was a warzone in her head, part of her wanting to back off from her sister for space and the ability to regain her breath while the other wanted to pull Elsa closer still and never let her go.

'Why do I feel like this so often? Elsa's just being a big sister like I always wanted, but why am I always making it weird?'

"Maybe," the blonde whispered with a shy smile. Her clear blue eyes kept flicking between Anna's half-open, panting mouth and the rise and fall of her chest. An index finger that rested on Anna's forearm began to trace tiny circles, of its own accord. Then she chuckled and added in a faux-suggestive tone, "Or maybe it's just you, eh?"

That finger was being awfully distracting. Anna bit down hard on her lower lip and tried to keep her tremors to a minimum. She cleared her throat, the blush hot on her face. "Y-yeah, might just be me."

When she heard the way Anna spoke, saw the blush on her face, Elsa's smile began to fade. Her eyebrows knitted and she simply stared down at her, not moving away or flinching back. Curious and confused, and still impossibly near.

'God, she's even more beautiful up close.' Her large eyes were like the arctic glaciers, flecked with shades of an even lighter blue that were enchanting to stare into. Her flawless, snowy skin marred by a faint dusting of freckles across her adorable nose. The platinum hair Anna loved so much looked so soft and silky, and Anna wanted nothing more than to run her fingers through it. Every twitch of Elsa's muscles, every small breath and blink were noticeable.

Anna's eyes widened as the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. As all the confusion and conflict over the last week became crystal clear, even if the clarity brought her no peace.

'Fuck my stupid ass. I'm in love with Elsa.'

                                                             To Be Continued...

#bind us together lord #forkanna writes #pankite #elsanna fanfiction #forkanna the writer

[harry-writings]

I'm starting college soon and just was wondering how it was adjusting? How do you balance studying and social life? How did you figure out your major and find out what you want to do with your life? What are your grades like and how often do you study and how do you study? Sorry for all the questions but im really nervous and dont know anything and i dont want to do badly my first year

Haha, a lot of questions, so I’ll answer each one as best as I possibly can :)

1: Adjusting to college was definitely a bit stressful. Was it bad? No, certainly not bad at all (at least for me). The only extreme adjustment I had to adapt to was my environment. I grew up in upstate New York my whole life, living where everything was a car ride away, living with very friendly, humble people, living in nature and having more of a secluded environment. So moving to New York City was pretty tough, even though I had visited many times when I was growing up. The hustle of my environment, the traveling on subways, the fact that I was walking all the time, and the people kind of giving off the whole “I don’t give a fuck attitude” was not something I was used to (but obviously, strangely love)

I don’t know where you plan on going to college, so that may not apply to you. Making new friends, getting along with those around you, and getting used to homework and college life can be a bit difficult. But honestly, being in a residence hall helps tremendously when it comes to making friends. 

Just remember, everyone is in the same boat as you. Nobody really knows anyone yet, you aren’t an outsider when it comes to socializing and adjusting to new people in new environments. Honestly, don’t be shy. People want friends Freshman year of college.

As for adjusting to school work, it’s a pain in the ass. High school doesn’t really prepare you for the college grading system, or the college life in general. In all honestly, adjusting to college school work is different for everybody. Me, personally, was shit at it. I walked out of first semester with a 3.3 GPA (which may be good for some people but wasn’t a mark that really showed my true potential), and it wasn’t necessarily because there was a ton of work, or because I was lazy. It was just the college adjustment as a whole, it’s an entirely different atmosphere we aren’t used to. Just find what works for you, work on improving from high school. Perhaps your time management, study habits, or homework habits. Whatever set you back in your past is what you should really be focusing on tackling in the beginning of college. 

2: As for balancing study life and social life, that was one of the things I found easiest. Although having friends and being with your friends is one of the best feelings, you have a lot more time to do that than you think. College is not always all work, especially your first semester. Work and education should always come first, however, shouldn’t be every part of your life. You’ll find time to do both the way you need to, and if you don’t, you’ll be aware of it and will figure out how to manage those times perfectly. 

3: When it came to figuring out my major, I relied heavily on my interests in high school. At first, I wanted to study in Journalism. It was a go-to for me for a while, but as time went on, I realized I’d love to work in the field of Psychology. Human behavior and the human mind has always been one of my most prominent interests, and I love every second of it.

And if you think I know what I want to do with my life, ha, that’s funny. It changes almost every day. Maybe a therapist? Or maybe a counselor? What about criminal psychology? It changes often, I’m pretty sure I won’t know what I want to do until my second semester of sophomore year, I still have a lot to learn. (And if you’re wondering, I’m currently thinking about Human Relations, this will most likely be something I stick to for a while) (maybe) (watch me switch by tomorrow).

4: As I said previously, my grades first semester were okay. Could have been worse, but also could have been better. Currently, however, for this semester, I have a 4.0 (wow Izzy what a change). Yes, yes, a huge jump, but it’s because I took the time to improve myself. I’ve been really focusing on my grades because I really want to go to a competitive graduate school, such as NYU or NYU or NYU or fricken NYYUUUU. I also want to be really successful in my career, build my resume, get offered great internship opportunities, and honestly, make myself and my family proud. School has become something I really enjoy, and want to make the best out of my education.

My studying is kind of all over the place. I study 3 days before a test. If it’s a final, I give myself around a week, give or take, depending on the class. Like, math? A week, because I’m not very good at math, at all, ever. For Psychology? About three days, simply because I’m more passionate about it and, therefore, retain more information throughout the semester. 

I prefer to study and do homework in the library, as well. The library, mentally, puts me in a work mode and lets me get everything I need to get done, done. I just keep reading course material, making study guides on my computer, read, read, read, and read. Writing doesn’t really help me with my studying (personally) because with my horrible tendencies to feel the need to write 100% perfect all the time, I spend more time focusing on my handwriting than I do retaining information. But again, writing may help you, so do whatever works best for you.

Don’t be afraid, you’ll kick ass! Trust me, you’ll be fine. Love you and good luck xx