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redbullgirly · 1 month

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HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

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user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, landonorris, isahernaez and 639,910 others

tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others

lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

liked by the author

oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by haileybieber, martagarcialopez19, mercedesamgf1 and 834,981 others

tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

view all 2,013 comments

lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by naomischiff, gigihadid, susie_wolff, riabish and 2,452,906 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

view all 31,274 comments

yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's ��

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

twitter

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

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modmad · 9 days

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Hey Mod, I don't know what's going on that hurt you, I feel like I missed something that's happened, but I can tell from what I did see that it didn't just hurt you, but scared you and made you feel a Lot of doubt. I've also seen a lot of messages pouring in with support, and I want to share mine.

I have hypermobile type EDS, fibromyalgia, and a whole bucket's worth of faulty wiring in my brain. And I've always had stories to tell but I never felt I was good enough to share them. If it's because I can't focus enough to get through nanowrimo, or because I can't manage the focus and time towards drawing as a hobby, or the fact that an excessive amount of either for me leads to my hands wanting to shut down. But you? You *inspire* me. Your stories, all the ones I've seen, read, experienced in some way or another, they're so good. And you're open and honest with your fans about your own health, and of course, we support you and always would rather you rest and feel as best you can, instead of pushing out something and working yourself too hard. But all of this is to say that. I think I would have given up on my own stories if I hadn't found you and yours.

I hope whatever is going on sorts itself out, I hope you're able to keep telling your stories. At your own pace, in your own way. I think you deserve to be happy. If there's anything we (your fans, especially those of us too awkward to come off anon, whoops,) can do, to help in some way? Even if it's silly videos or cute cat pictures or whatever it is that could just help you smile. We're here. We love you.

woof. I woke up to so many messages I can't even read them all in one go I'm getting too emotional- I do feel I owe an explanation so I'll explain what happened under the cut but all you guys need to know is I'm okay, I got through it, I love you, and you're so important to me and I'm so grateful for all the messages that have asked me to stay.

tw for suicidal thoughts and all that

yeah so I have the bad morning of all mornings: was introduced to the fact there's this one character (Mr Puzzles) on a very popular youtube that. resembles RGB. incredibly strongly. like. I don't want to link to it just look if you want to. Anyway at the time I thought it had just dropped (seems to have been around for 6 months actually), and having commented on it I immediately got an inbox full of hate mail.

My website, meanwhile, had locked both me and my web designer out of it, and- already in a bad state of mind- I went into full on panic/paranoid spiral of 'they have hacked it, and they are going to delete any proof that I was here before them.' This of course wasn't true, and we have since recalimed control of the site (don't know what happened there but hey. it's fine???? haha. ha.)

On top of this my father has terminal cancer of the pancreas, which is horrible for everyone already but it means that- at some point this year- I am going to be the only person with an active income in my house. I am disabled, do not make a lot of money, and the cost of living is skyrocketing. Combine that with months of Despair at the world right now, with the multiple wars, genocide, corruption and AI and the loss of control any of us have over our IP or lives and I just decided it was time to end it all.

I somehow remembered this was a bad idea to act on immediately (hard during a period of entirely irrational thought) and instead went for a very long walk, crossed the bridge I could have jumped off and during that I came out of the worst of it. I then came back home to so much love online I felt deeply ashamed for ever contemplating it, and I cried a lot. My nose is still puffy and now my feet hurt! lmao

Anyway. Yeah. There's your context. I am not going to stop hoping, making, or living. I am prone to moments of weakness and this was one of the worst of them and I am still here, thanks in a large part to all of you. I might need you in the future to defend me against this, or people who take our ideas, but I hope you know that I will do the same for you. We need each other, and to be there for you I need to be here at all.

also fuck Mr Puzzles

#context for mod's little (massive) mental breakdown yesterday #you don't need to read it but I felt folks are due an explanation #tw suicide #ask to tag #mental health is wow!!!! a thing

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neptuneiris · 10 months

Text

cardigan (02/03)

tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy.

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 8.4k

previous part • next part • series masterlist

As you're looking down at yourself, making sure there's nothing out of place, you just hear the loud sound of Sara inhaling deeply which makes you startle and you watch her quickly in panic.

hello! i just want to say that i can't believe how much you guys loved the first part. the story just exploded hehe. I'm so grateful for that, for your support and your opinions, I didn't think it would happen so soon, thank you very much.

i wanted to give you part two after such a quick acknowledgement and support, truly thank you so much and also let me know what you think of this second part please, i love reading and responding to you. enjoy!

"You like this one?"

"What?"

"No fucking way, Y/N! You look amazing!"

And at that moment you can feel the color come back to your face and you calm down.

"Come here!" she asks you excitedly, "I want to take a closer look."

You stand in front of her and turn on your own axis to get a better look at yourself in the large full-length mirror, instantly liking what you see.

Last year your dress for the Targaryen ball was red. And you don't usually repeat colors. So now you've chosen a deep ocean blue dress.

Which is Aemond's favorite color.

"This is the one, definitely."

"Really?" you put your hair behind your shoulders, watching you carefully, "Is this one better than the last one?"

"In my opinion the style is better."

You've tried on dresses of the same color in different styles before and honestly… you liked this one better than the others.

It's a long dress open at an angle exposing your left leg. It has no neckline, is strapless and shimmers in a metallic shade beautifully.

This is it.

You think definitely more convinced than ever as you look in the mirror after a few more inspections. You'll shine brighter with your hair and makeup done, you know it and you know you'll look beautiful. That's why you can't wait for the day to come.

You can't wait for Aemond to see you.

"And why did you choose this color?"

"Because it's Aemond's favorite color and it will match his sapphire."

"Oh yes," says Sara in a reminiscent tone, "I had forgotten that detail about your best friend."

"His sapphire eye?"

"Yes."

"But if that's precisely why everyone at the university knows him."

"They also know him for his hair and for apparently having come from the very palace of the Greek gods, don't forget," she says, also amused.

You let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, it's true."

After a little silence between the two of them where they inspect the dress, Sara stirs a little and seems to fight against herself to say what she wants to say. Until she grimaces and nerves invade her as she speaks.

"Listen Y/N…" she says cautiously, "It's not that I want to be nosy or anything, in fact I don't like to know people's things about things like…" she bites the inside of her cheek "That seem very delicate" she says finally "And it's that I'm very curious, I—

"You're a gossip, Sara," you remind him in an amused tone, interrupting her.

"Well… yeah, it's true, who am I kidding," she nods in acknowledgment, shrugging her shoulders and you laugh.

"You want to know what happened to Aemond's eye?"

"Yes," she murmurs, almost embarrassed, "But it's just out of curiosity and if it's something very personal then I understand."

You take a long breath and look away from the mirror to observe her.

"Yes, it's very personal," you tell her, "I can only tell you that it was a horrible accident that happened to him as a kid. He still finds it a little difficult to talk about it, even with his mother and sister."

"Yes, of course," Sara nods sympathetically, "In fact something like that I had imagined."

You nod too, sympathetically, thinking about it.

"At first, when I met Aemond in high school and we started our friendship, he didn't want to tell me," you confess, "It's not as if I insisted on the matter, of course not... but he knew I was curious about it. And it wasn't until after he was sure that I wasn't a fake friend, as I was with him, that we both confided a lot of things to each other until he told me about his accident."

"How old was he?" she ask attentively and curiously.

"Barely ten."

Sara raises her eyebrows in surprise with a face of pity.

"Ten?" she repeats in a murmur, "Wow. I can't even imagine. It must have been pretty awful, huh?"

"It was," you assure her.

You know Aemond has only told about what happened to you and a guy who was his best friend in high school, who now that guy got into another college in another state.

And what happened was that Aemond defended his little nephew, Luke, from some boys who were picking on him and wanting to almost beat him up at school.

But the blows went to Aemond who had to defend himself as best he could against four boys even a little bigger than he was at the time.

Then one of the boys did not measure his strength, hit him and pushed him too, and because of the push Aemond fell on top of a net of wires that made up a small garden in the huge backyard of the school.

They didn't even let him get up, so Aemond also hurt some parts of his body.

And out of desperation, before he could try to do anything, another one of the boys hit him in the face and that's when a piece of wire ripped his eye as he turned his head towards the wires from the blow.

When Aemond was telling you everything, you didn't even know what to say.

And the best punishment the bully boys could have received was to have been expelled. But it wasn't enough for Aemond and his family. They had taken his eye and that was 'justice'.

Luckily his whole family supported him and was there for him through the whole difficult process of doctors appointments, therapies, medications and so on.

His uncle Daemon especially made sure he received the best possible treatment with the best doctors and nurses while his older sister, Rhaenyra, searched for solutions to his lost eye along with his mother.

"And why does he have that sapphire? Didn't he think about a prosthesis or something like that?"

"As a kid, all he wanted was to recover and cope with the physical and emotional pain, and also to get used to his only right sight," you explain, "And then he told me he was thinking about it, but it's been a long time. Maybe he has already got used to the sapphire."

"And it doesn't hurt him?" asks Sara curiously, thoughtfully.

"No, he always has his appointments with the ophthalmologist," you let her know, "I guess the sapphire is to maintain an appearance. Kind of like what rich people do."

"Oh, of course," Sara nods with more understanding, "It makes perfect sense vonsidering how exaggeratedly rich he and his family are."

You let out a small laugh, turning to look at yourself in the mirror at the beautiful dress.

"Yes, they are," you murmur, "Are you sure your aunt will let me pay her weekly?" you ask, looking at her again a little worried.

"I already told you yes, Y/N. Stop worrying," she says amused.

"But she already knows?" you ask distrustful.

"Yes, she knows," she assures you for the eighth time, "She just said that by the time you decide to stop paying for it for one reason or another, there is no refund and you have to return the dress. And if you tear it, stain it or something, you pay extra."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," you make a nonchalant gesture, "I'm definitely going to finish paying for it."

You think about how the dress is so beautiful that it doesn't deserve to be worn for just one occasion. You can wear it to another event, not necessarily just the ball.

And after you've picked out the last dress, you both leave the dressing room, secure everything for payment, and Sara takes you home and you both say goodbye saying you will see each other tomorrow in class.

When you arrive at the apartment, only Vhagar greets you, to which you assume that Aemond must still be in class or with his girlfriend.

So you decide to take Vhagar with you to your room to do some homework and wait for Aemond to arrive to have dinner together.

And by the time you finally hear his arrival at the apartment, you take Vhagar in your arms and leave your room to ask him how his day was and what he wants for dinner tonight to see if it matches what you want.

But the words get stuck in your throat the moment you see him and your eyes meet his, watching him in shock, definitely not expecting this.

And at your reaction of saying nothing and continuing to stare at him in disbelief, he lets out a small laugh as he runs a hand through his neck and hair.

"What do you think?"

And that's when you seem to remember how to talk.

"No way," you mutter, "Are you fucking kidding?"

"As I understand it, your head can't grow, Y/N. At least not at this age," he tells you amused.

"Shit," you say still in disbelief, "It looks fucking amazing, Aemond!" you finally react with a huge smile.

He has cut his hair.

His fucking long hair is now short and he looks so ridiculously good, like it's not an everyday thing, as well as he looks even better than before and even... sexy.

And in an instant you're all over him, running your fingers through now his short, silky, still straight hair with some waves at the ends that now point slightly upwards.

Even his face, his figure, his sapphire, everything about him looks better than before just because of a haircut.

"Why didn't you tell me?" you ask, still surprised and puzzled, with a small smile.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," he says with a smile, "What do you say, do you really like it?"

"I love it," you confess, "Even you, everything about you—

You stop, not wanting to look nervous, not wanting to insinuate your true feelings for him through his new appearance.

That's why you think very well what you will say before you speak, controlling yourself not to say anything too much.

"Well... it looks better," you finally say.

"Thank you, pretty one."

He smiles at you and you melt at the sight of his expression, simply because of the gesture accompanied by his new cut, so you couldn't be more ridiculous, but you can't help it either.

You find it so attractive and so striking the way you watch his dimples form and look, even they so damn good, again, because of his new haircut.

"I hope Alys likes it too."

You bite your lips, not wanting to focus on his comment at the mention of his girlfriend.

"And why did you decide to cut it?" you ask not to talk about her, acting nonchalant but still feeling surprised.

"I thought it would be a good idea to cut it for the ball," he confesses, "It's this weekend and I thought I'd do it now because I knew I wouldn't do it later."

You both laugh, as that is very Aemond Targaryen and you both know it.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," you say with a small smile, "I've got everything ready for the ball too."

"Oh really?" he raises his eyebrows, interested, "Now what color dress did you choose?"

"Nope. No details."

You turn away from him in an instant and head to the fridge to finally make dinner, because you know if he keeps looking at you and talking like that, you'll end up showing him everything.

"Oh come on, Y/N."

"I'm so sorry but you'll have to wait for the day."

"Are you serious?" he asks you.

"Even your new haircut isn't going to convince me."

"Hmm."

He certainly says with a disappointed tone and you let out a laugh.

"Be patient, Aemond. Now..." You look at him, "What do you want for dinner?"

You and Aemond talk about what his mother has told him she has planned this time for the ball with his sister Rhaenyra while you prepare dinner and listen to him at the same time. And when everything is ready, you both watch a movie in the living room.

And the next morning, Aemond Targaryen with his new haircut is all you hear about even among all the girls in your apartment. Even something as simple as a haircut drives them all crazy. Even you.

But that it's already a real topic of conversation is amazing.

And the next few days are really stressful for you, also for Aemond, as you have to push your respective careers forward with homework and projects.

In fact the week is so busy that you barely have time for breakfast in the morning as you have to rush to the university. Aemond also told you that he was very busy with the same thing.

But it's worth it.

You tell yourself even in every break that you actually make use of to continue doing more homework.

And for you there is no better motivation than knowing that by the time the week is over, you will finally be free and the ball will be a great way to finally relax and have fun with your best friend.

And you honestly can't wait.

However, you were not prepared to hear what Aemond says to you the day before the ball when you arrive at the apartment and he is already there, apparently waiting for your arrival.

And you knew it wouldn't be good what he would say to you the moment you see the sadness, worry and sorrow in his eyes as he watches you.

"My family wants to meet Alys."

He tells you and then says nothing for a few more seconds, looking away from you, running a hand through his hair, frustrated, to which you already know what he will probably tell you.

"And I couldn't think of any better occasion than to take her with me to the ball so everyone can meet her."

And her words stab like a dagger into your heart, shattering it into little pieces.

And he speaks to you so softly, so carefully and so sorrowfully at the same time while you want to believe it's a damn joke and he's really not doing this to you.

"I'm so sorry, my pretty one," he looks at you with all the anguish in his eyes for your reaction, worried, "Could you do me this favor, just this once, please?"

Do him the favor?

You repeat in your mind, just watching him without really having any expression in your look, because you don't want to make him see that he has broken you with this news and this suddenly change of plans.

And his next words only make you feel worse for your lack of response, with him wanting to make the situation better, as if it were possible.

"You could still come, you know. I'll be with Alys, but Helaena or Aegon can keep you company and eventually I'll try to be around you as well."

"I'm not taking Alys."

He had said.

"This ball belongs to both of us, it always has. And I'm not going to break the tradition."

He had promised you.

And you say to yourself: he is asking you this as a favor. It's just a ball and it's only fair that his escort should be his girlfriend. Don't bother, you shouldn't bother.

"I know you had everything ready and I know I shouldn't be telling you this a day early."

He continues saying to you with sorrow, and then he goes to you in a desperate action and takes your hands in his.

"But I promise you that I will make it up to you, I will—

Unable to stand it any longer, you take your hands from his, which makes him stop and look at you instantly, a little surprised and worried by your reaction.

And you again... you act unconcerned and like it's no big deal.

Mostly because you no longer want to keep listening to his promises that are worthless in the end, you also don't want to be around him right now and also because you want to end the matter once and for all.

"Okay, I understand."

You tell him with the best look you can put at that moment, really trying to pretend that everything is fine, almost convincing him, almost.

"Don't worry."

And without waiting for anything else, because you really want to get away from him, feeling that if he tells you something else you're really going to burst into tears right then and there, you walk past him and head to your room.

But he doesn't let you go so easily.

"Y/N..." He holds you by the shoulders, looking at you worriedly, "Talk to me, please."

You let out a small laugh, the fakest laugh you've ever let out, trying with all your might to make it okay.

"What do you want me to say? I told you it's okay."

Again you try to pass by him but he again stops you. And you let him.

You let him because you don't want him to see you bad, broken. You let him because if you get upset, if you let him see that he has broken you, you fear he will realize your true feelings.

And you don't want that now that he has a girlfriend and looks happy with her. So happy that she even managed to change his mind about taking her to the ball even though he told you he wouldn't because that ball belonged to the two of you.

And you don't want to ruin that for him if that's what he wants, you also don't want to make a big deal about the change of plans. You want to make him see that you're okay with it.

Again...you don't want to look sad and broken in front of him.

"I know you, Y/N," he says to you in a sad, apologetic soft voice, "I know you're not okay with me wanting to take her now because I told you I wouldn't, that this ball belongs to both of us," he lets out a long breath, "But I—

"I'm perfectly fine with it, Aemond," you interrupt him with the most nonchalant and fake look possible, "I mean... she's your girlfriend and it's only fair that you take her, right?"

And your words don't know why they make her feel worse when that's just what she needed from you: understanding.

But somehow it feels a hell of a lot worse that you're understanding him after he knows he promised you he wouldn't take her and you'd both go together.

"But you—

"Look... actually this is good," you lie, "Now I have a lot of homework to finish and also a big project due on monday. The weekend will help me to get everything done and delivered on time."

That's what you assure him even though this whole week you had worn yourself out getting everything ahead of schedule for next week so you could go to the ball and have fun without any more worries.

"Are you..." He looks at you suspiciously, "Are you sure?"

"Very," you say, putting on a small fake smile, "Now I just want to rest before I do everything."

He watches you for a few seconds with the softest and gentlest expression possible, still a little worried, while you watch him firmly back to show him that it's okay.

Even though it hurts like hell all this is happening.

"Well," he murmurs, looking away from you, nodding slightly, "Would you like me to make some dinner for the two of us? I can...

"No thanks," you cut him off, "I want to sleep, that's all."

And finally, carrying all your dignity with you, you head to your room, pretending that everything is fine and that you are fine.

But as you close the door to your room behind you, that's when all the appearance finally goes away and you allow yourself to really feel the way you feel.

And it makes it worse to see the beautiful dress on your bed, looking so spectacular, so ready to be worn, when you will no longer need it for the main occasion you decided to buy it and wanted to wear it for so badly.

Looking at it with longing and sadness, the first tears fall down your cheeks and you avoid letting out a sob as you bite your lips.

You would have preferred that Aemond told you about taking his girlfriend that day when you went to get the dress and then he came home with his new haircut. It would have been more preferable to telling you the day before the ball.

Either way, though, you know it would have destroyed you, just the same way you feel destroyed now.

That's why the next morning, you don't even leave your room. You don't want to and can't see Aemond knowing that today is the day it was supposed to be the two of you.

So you only leave your room when you make sure Aemond is in his room to grab something from the fridge and get back to your cave as quickly as possible.

Until the time of the ball gets closer and closer and you make sure your desk is full of sheets of your previous projects, pretending to be busy as you had told Aemond you would be.

Even his sister, Helaena, sends you an excited message asking if you will come tonight and with all the pain in your heart, you reply that you will not be able to come as you are too busy with homework and projects.

When Aemond knocks on your bedroom door and calls you from the other side. You quickly go to your desk, pretend to be busy with the sheets, tell him to come in and he does.

"I'm leaving now, pretty one."

"Okay, have fun," you say in the best possible tone, without looking at him.

You really don't want to look at him.

"I will probably come here to sleep, I don't think I'll stay anywhere else, just to let you know," he says in a soft and cautious tone, still a little worried about yesterday.

"Yeah, that's fine."

A few seconds of silence and then you hear him let out a sigh.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? You know Helaena and my brothers will be there. I can wait for you to leave."

You bite the inside of your cheek, annoyed that he's suggesting this again, when you shouldn't be.

You know he means well, but it bothers you, it hurts you. How does he think you'll want to go to the ball after changing your plans?

"I have a lot to do," you answer briefly.

And again you hear another one of his sighs.

"Okay," he murmurs.

But he doesn't leave immediately, you hear how he is still at your door and you feel his penetrating gaze, as if he is asking you for forgiveness, but you don't even look at him.

You can't and you don't want to.

You think that if he tries to talk about it again, you'll tell him how busy you are so he won't do it.

But fortunately you only hear him let out a long breath and finally close the door to your room. And the next thing you hear are his footsteps and then the apartment door opening and closing.

The next few days after what happened between you and Aemond at the ball are again like you didn't want them to be.

But it seems that the ball was an important point that broke between you and Aemond and again he and you don't spend time together anymore. It's only in the mornings when you both see each other for breakfast, but there isn't even a conversation for the time being.

There are no more movie weekends, no more going to a restaurant for breakfast on some weekends, and no more going to the grocery store together.

However, the agreement remains that he takes care of everything financially and you take care of the food, laundry and cleaning.

Still, it's as if you live alone.

Suddenly Aemond stopped coming to the apartment less and less, as well as he has stopped sleeping here constantly anymore.

Sometimes there are not even any more of his clothes to wash, mostly because they are still clean or because he takes them away or has left them somewhere else, with Alys obviously.

All the food is finished by you since he barely eats breakfast or dinner here. And the few times you've gotten to talk, there's been no mention of the ball at all.

And you can tell, as he also shows, that he seems to be very busy with his classes and also with his girlfriend.

He still pay for the electricity, water and everything you need, you know he does, but he's not even here. Now it's like you totally take care of Vhagar, which you don't complain about, but she's supposed to be his dog because you gave her to him.

And even though things are tense between you, you still can't help but feel sad and lonely every time you realize that he didn't even get to sleep and on weekends you're all alone.

Whenever you text him asking where he is or why he didn't get to sleep, he always replies the same thing: Alys. He apologizes for not telling you but still never tells you.

Now you sleep in the apartment all alone, with only Vhagar's company every day. And even though it hurt you a lot about the ball, you still miss your best friend very much.

You missed him the most especially when a nasty storm hit King's Landing at night and lasted all morning until six o'clock.

You hate storms and Aemond also knows that you are afraid of them.

That night you couldn't sleep at all, you were curled up hiding under your sheets, hugging Vhagar as your only comfort, hoping that everything would pass soon.

The next morning you couldn't go to class due to lack of sleep and Aemond didn't even show up at the apartment.

Until one night, saturday at one o'clock in the morning, you heard the sound of the door and his footsteps in the living room and kitchen.

And ready to talk to him about how you've been feeling these past few days, as well as the fact that you practically live here alone, you head out of your room.

But you stop just as you open a crack in your door when you hear and realize that he is not alone.

"We should have arrived at my house, Aemond."

"We talked about this, Alys."

"But she's always here. I don't understand why she never goes out with friends or anything."

"I told you she's not that type."

You could have closed the door and gone to sleep with the idea of talking about what you had in mind with him another day, but you stay still when you hear that they are talking about you.

And what Alys says next only makes you stand stiller and listen more attentively.

"Oh my love... Are you still worried about her?"

You sharpen your ear more, attentive and confused.

Worried about me?

You repeat in your mind not understanding, willing to listen more, even though you shouldn't but still you do.

"I'm not worried. I'm just thinking about her."

"You are worried, Aemond," Alys repeats in affirmation and in a serious tone, "What I don't understand is why if the ball was two weeks ago."

"I know," you hear him mutter, "But still, you should have seen her face... she already had everything ready and I told her a day before that I wouldn't take her with me."

"But she told you it was okay, didn't she?"

"Yeah, but..." sigh, "In a way it felt much worse that she understood."

Alys lets out a snort.

"Of course she must have understood, my love," she says obviously, "I'm your girlfriend, not her."

You press your lips together, thinking that it didn't even cross your mind that he was still thinking about the ball when he doesn't even see you and isn't even here.

You don't fully understand but you do have an idea that after the ball, maybe he needed to distance himself from you and that's why you haven't seen each other anymore and he doesn't come to the apartment.

Maybe he felt really bad about himself for killing your illusion of going to the ball together, like every year.

But if he feels so bad, then why did he do it?

You ask yourself with some bitterness.

Apparently Alys was more convincing to him and it's okay, she's his girlfriend, but he's just feeling bad after it's all over.

"You care a lot about her and it's ridiculous, Aemond. As ridiculous as it is that she lives here and doesn't give you a single penny."

And then again her words catch your attention more than ever and you continue listening attentively, with your face falling because of her words.

"Alys..." he calls out to her in a tired tone, "I already explained that to you."

"But even so," she insists with an absurd tone, "Won't she be ashamed? She's your best friend and she doesn't even think about helping you a little?"

"She does help me and you know it."

"I mean financially."

"Her parents send her what money they can for college. She buys food and also buys what she needs for her classes and other necessities."

"Oh, so not only she doesn't help you with money, but also her parents?"

"Alys–

"Hasn't she even thought about getting a job?"

"Yes, but I told her that it wasn't necessary, that she could help me with the domestic and I could help her with the money without charging her anything."

"Are you serious?"

"She's my best friend, Alys. I'm the one who convinced her to live with me because I wanted her to."

"No, Aemond. It wasn't because you wanted to. It was because you pity her."

Your heart skips a beat and you open your lips and listen in surprise, beginning to feel that sharp pain in your chest as it hurts to hear those words.

"No," he says firmly, "It's never been like that."

"Oh please, don't fool yourself," she insists, "Y/N is not like you and me...her family has no money and from what you've told me, she's always been on scholarship in everything."

"Not everyone can have what we have, Alys," he says incredulously, "Besides, why would I care if she has money or not? Other people like us are really distasteful and don't have even a shred of humility, sincerity and trustworthiness like she has."

"I don't see it that way. I think she's so different and you feel so sorry for her that you've made it easy for her by putting her in an apartment like this because you know she and her family don't have the resources."

"That's what you think. But she and I both know that's not true."

He says with a confident tone and yes, it is true.

Alys at this moment made you doubt, a lot, because of the venom he was spitting out every word and for speaking so confidently about how he really feels about you.

But you never felt that Aemond treated you, since their friendship began, with pity.

Never.

"She has always been there for me and never with the intention of taking advantage of me for what I have. Not for nothing is she my best friend and you know how selective I am with my friends."

You hear the long sigh she lets out, to which you must think she has an irritated face.

"Well, if you say so," she says bitterly, "Still, isn't it annoying that she's always here? She doesn't go out to parties, she has no friends but you, and whenever we come here we can't even have the privacy we'd like because she's locked in her room."

"This is her house too."

"She's not a child anymore, Aemond. You should tell her to get a job and an apartment of her own or live in the dorm now. Tell her you want your own space now."

"It's not even a year since we've been living together, Alys."

"So, if I tell you in one more year that we want us to live together, will she live with both of us too?

"Of course not."

He answers instantly in an absurd low tone and again you feel your heart break at his words because of how quickly he answered and in what tone.

And you can't blame him, those are plans with his girlfriend, you have nothing to do there. But you can't help it and it really hurts because you will never be her.

"Look... I admit that I do wish I could have more privacy and also that she would go out to have fun and meet new people... I even want to get here with you and she's not here."

You feel the tears start to form in your eyes, but you bite your lips and control yourself.

"But I can't just tell her that I want to live alone now and give her to understand that I want her to leave. And I really don't want her to leave, not like this," he say honestly, "Not when things are still tense between us," he sighs, "She's my best friend and I love her. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I really want to make things right with her."

And as if everything Aemond had just said wasn't relevant to Alys, she says the following with every intention of it actually happening someday soon.

"What if the two of us go live together somewhere else?"

And the few seconds of silence afterwards on Aemond's part you know is from his confusion.

"Hm?"

"If you don't want to hurt her, fine, let her keep living here so you can feel good about yourself by continuing to help her."

You frown, really hating and feeling annoyed with his girlfriend's words.

"Then we can look for another apartment to live together," she proposes and you feel your heart shrink, "It doesn't have to be now, but later, but really do it, what do you think?"

You don't hear anything again for a few seconds, wanting to hear Aemond's answer while your heart beats hard against your chest.

"Alys–

"Please, baby. I want to live with you. I want to do many things with you."

And in that moment you know it's enough as you hear them start kissing and you finally, carefully, close the door and lie back down on your bed, holding back the tears.

Not wanting to hear anything promising out there, you put on your headphones and try to sleep with this ugly pain in your chest.

You shouldn't have listened to that conversation between the two of them, but you couldn't help it. But after listening to them, staring for a few moments at the ceiling of your room, broken, you make the decision you had thought about before but were not sure about.

And that is that you will fulfill Alys' wish... you are going to look for a job and you are going to ask for a doorm in the residence.

The following days after hearing Aemond's conversation with his girlfriend, continue the same.

Aemond still doesn't show up much at the apartment, the two of you don't talk much, he is always with Alys and you start looking for jobs near the university without success.

When you don't find anything, the days of searching get longer because the ones that are available are far away from your area and others don't apply for you because they ask for experience.

And at the same time you try not to let everything you heard that night affect you by keeping busy with college.

You also try not to let it affect you that Aemond said he wanted to make things right between you but he still doesn't see you and doesn't show up because he's with Alys.

You really don't understand.

That's why you continue to look for a job as it hurts you that you are practically living alone in a big apartment like this when before it wasn't like this and you enjoyed Aemond's company.

Now it's just you and Vhagar.

Then one afternoon when you come home from school and finish feeding Vhagar and start preparing food for yourself, suddenly the door opens and Aemond enters with a soft look, instantly observing you.

"Hello, pretty one."

You try not to look surprised and confused by his arrival, so you just don't let his nickname affect you and smile a little, just a little, in his direction.

"Hi."

He smiles a little more at you as his gaze turns to Vhagar who runs excitedly to greet him.

"Hello to you too my little one," he says tenderly and you see how he takes her in his arms, "I missed you."

You look away from him to continue cooking, not wanting to talk and preferring to ignore him in the same way he seems to ignore you by not showing up or sleeping here anymore, leaving you and Vhagar alone.

You want to know why he has suddenly appeared, but you control yourself from asking. Just as you tell yourself that you don't plan to say anything to him about moving into the dorm until you secure a job.

"What are you cooking?"

You hear him ask you as he approaches you.

"Fillet," you reply briefly.

"Do you mind if I ask you to cook one for me?" He asks with some care.

"No," you answer simply.

You really don't want to be rude to him, after all, this is your agreement, so you cook a fillet for him, waiting to serve everything.

"Do you have something to do today?"

He asks you suddenly and you continue cooking, without looking at him.

"Homework," you answer, "Why?"

"Ah... some classmates are coming to prepare an presentation we have tomorrow," he lets you know and you finally turn to look at him, "I hope you don't mind."

"No, it's fine," you assure him, turning your back on him again, "I'll be in my room, you know."

"Of course."

Quiet.

You continue cooking and he seems to be waiting for his food, so you don't say anything, mostly because you don't have anything to say.

You feel his gaze on you at almost all times, which you deliberately ignore, trying not to make a big deal of it.

When you start serving and finally turn your face to him to place the plates and also the glasses, feeling more firmly his gaze on you.

"Y/N...

And as soon as he says your name you knew he wasn't watching you silently for nothing, but because he was fighting himself to talk to you about something that had him in doubt.

"I know I haven't been around much..." he starts to say and you avoid letting out a sigh of irritation, "And I also know that I've left you alone with Vhagar—

"Yes, I know," you interrupt him in a nonchalant tone, "And that's okay, you have things to do and honestly so do I, believe it or not," you say quickly and then open the refrigerator, "Do you want soda or juice?"

Your clear disinterest for not wanting to talk about it makes Aemond stop talking and watch you in silence, feeling a little guilty for your attitude.

But you continue to watch him expectantly for an answer and he gives it to you after a few seconds of silence.

"Soda."

You nod and start filling the glasses. And at that, Aemond doesn't insist on the matter and simply remains silent, waiting for you to start eating together.

But he can't be like this anymore. He really wants to make things right and that's why he mentions the next:

"Don't think I forgot your birthday."

He says in an attempt to finally calm the tension between the two of you as you turn and hand him the glass and then take a seat in front of him.

"You don't?" you say almost sarcastically, almost.

"Of course not," she assures you, "It's this Friday. Aren't you excited?"

"Not really," you say honestly, "I have a project due that friday that has been causing me a lot of stress. I don't want to get a grade that isn't worth all the effort."

"Oh come on, you always get the best grades," he says with a small smile, "Don't worry, you'll see, everything will be fine."

And the next thing he does is to place his hand on top of yours to give it a gentle squeeze as he always used to do before in situations like these, just like you do with him.

At this, you try not to fall for him and his gestures, so you just nod thanking him with your eyes for his support and start eating, just like him.

"And what are your plans? Tell me," he asks you interested.

"Mmm..." You grimace, "In the morning I don't have much planned, just to talk to my parents," you confess, "After class my friends said they wanted to take me to a restaurant and at night to go out partying but... I'm still not sure about that."

"About what?"

"The party."

He takes a sip of his soda and looks at you confidently.

"Let's go."

"Where to?"

"The party."

"You want to go?" you frown.

"Of course I do," he says with a smile, "I want to celebrate and have fun with you on your birthday."

You raise your eyebrows expectantly at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, come on, I'll take you," he says more confidently than before, "In fact, since you won't be doing much in the morning, I could buy a cake for both of us, give you your present and I don't know, go out or watch a movie," he proposes, "Just me and you. Then I'll see you in the night and we'll go out and party."

So, for all that confidence in talking, even with that determination and that excitement in talking about making plans together on your birthday... you shouldn't but again you feel that hope come back to you.

That same spark and hope when he told you about the ball and in the end he did the complete opposite of what he promised you.

But this time... they are both talking about your birthday. You know and you know that he knows you're not just talking about anything.

That's why you stop feeling that little bitterness and forget about the conversation you overheard, you also stop considering going to live in the dorm because he just gives you hope.

"What do you say? Do you like the plan?" he observes you with a little excited smile.

And without being able to help it, you also smile softly in his direction, feeling how that emptiness in your chest fills up, leaving you feeling alone and ignored.

So you nod your head, avoiding showing too much of your happiness and illusion.

"Perfect."

And after you both finish eating, before his classmates arrive, you both make yourselves comfortable on the couches and talk about almost everything while Vhagar keeps you company.

And because of this, you feel more of that hope, that companionship that you had needed so much from him and finally everything is okay.

Everything feels okay.

All the following days, both Aemond and you go back to the old routine where you don't see each other as much and don't talk much.

But at least there is that feeling that between you everything is already fine and there are plans in place for the weekend that you couldn't be more excited and anxious about.

You've already planned everything with your friends as well, so it's sure to be a perfect day.

Until finally friday arrives and you expect to wake up to Aemond making a big fuss with that happy birthday children's song.

However, it doesn't.

You wake up to a chill in your room and also in the whole apartment when you realize that Aemond is not here. You check to see if he has left you a note or a text but nothing.

Instantly you think to yourself that he must be getting that cake he promised you, so you take a shower and get ready for the day.

Then you get congratulations from your friends and other family members. You even talk to your parents who are in your little town, Stone Hedge, in the Riverlands, working hard to support your studies.

And then when you finish getting ready, Aemond still doesn't show up, so you call him but he doesn't answer, you also send him messages but nothing.

[You]: I'll be waiting for you until 12PM. I have my class at 1PM.

And you send the message, wishing and hoping he'll be here soon.

Until the hours go by, he still doesn't answer, doesn't even return your calls, doesn't tell you anything and there definitely comes a time when you can't wait for him anymore.

And you control yourself. You don't want to think anything bad. You tell yourself that maybe something important came up at school.

So you stay positive, tell yourself that he will explain when you see him tonight, and leave the apartment to go to the university.

The moment you walk into your classroom, your friends greet you with big hugs, flowers and helium balloons wishing you happy birthday, which definitely lifts your mood.

And even more so when you turn in the most stressful project you've done so far in your entire career and with all the happiness and excitement in the world you see how you get graded with an A+.

And your friends are quick to say that it's all the more reason to celebrate tonight.

When the class is over, along with Aileen, Sara, Ryan and Ryan's friend James, you head to the restaurant they told you they wanted to take you to.

There they all order a bottle of wine and toast to your birthday and also to their good grades in this final project they handed in. Even the restaurant's employees bring you a small cake and together they sing happy birthday to you, feeling very nice.

Although unconsciously, you keep thinking about Aemond.

From time to time you check your phone to see if there are any answers from him yet, but nothing. So you really try not to think about him too much and fortunately, with the help of your friends, you succeed.

Until it starts to get dark and everyone says they should get ready to go to one of the many fraternity parties.

Ryan takes you with James to your house and expecting to see Aemond at the apartment, you arrive and no one is there except Vhagar.

You let out a long breath and call him one more time but nothing, so not to be late you get ready for the party.

You're hopeful that Aemond will eventually arrive, but even when you finish getting ready, nothing. And you know he won't show up or he would have already.

But there is still a little hope.

You think, confident and positive, because it is your birthday.

You ask Sara to pick you up and soon you are both arriving at the party where you meet your other friends who have also brought friends.

"What about your best friend, is he coming?"

Aileen asks you over the music and you, still wanting to feel confident, nod.

"Yeah, he might be a little late."

She nods and takes you to the kitchen to play with the other party games before everything here becomes a mess with so many people and louder music.

And you get distracted for a moment as you start to play and have some fun with the games.

You realize that you're actually having a great time despite Aemond's absence, but you still want to see him since it's your birthday.

That's why after a few hours have passed, the party is getting more crowded and everyone is starting to drink more, you check your phone and there's still nothing from him.

You turn away from everyone for a moment to call him but he doesn't answer. You look at the time and realize that it will be eleven o'clock at night and feeling a little worried now, you send him more messages.

[You]: where are you?

[You]: i have been trying to talk to you all day.

[You]: will you at least come to the party?

Nothing.

You let out a long, disappointed breath, yet you tell yourself that he couldn't have forgotten about your birthday, he just didn't.

He made the plans, he promised you a fun day, he said you two would be together.

But then... where is he?

As you walk back to the house, across the entire backyard, you finally feel your phone vibrate several times and you stop to turn the screen back on again, hopeful.

However... you wish you had not.

[aem❣]: sorry for not responding, I was busy all day with alys and we just finished having dinner with her parents.

[aem❣]: party?

And that's all he tells you.

So surprised and incredulous, somehow already expecting it since he didn't show up in the morning you think it can't be.

You can't really believe it and you wish you were so wrong but... it's the truth.

He forgot your birthday.

Your best friend really has forgotten your fucking birthday.

He doesn't tell you anymore, he doesn't say happy birthday, he doesn't apologize for his absence on your birthday, he just doesn't tell you anything.

He just asks you that, with that question being reason enough to give you to understand that he has forgotten the whole plan and your birthday.

And you don't cry.

You really don't want to cry. He doesn't deserve it.

So you avoid breaking down at that moment and just put your phone on silent to put it in your little bag, holding back the tears and enduring this huge sharp pain in your chest.

When that's when you decide you've had enough.

It's still eleven o'clock, you have one more hour to enjoy your birthday, then you'll have fun for the rest of the party and tomorrow you'll have time to feel bad about what your so-called best friend has done to you.

But this is not going to ruin what's left of your birthday.

So you suppress everything, mentally prepare yourself and go back to the party more confident and determined than ever to have fun with your friends who are here.

And that's what you do.

But after this, enough will definitely be enough.

taglist:

@hey-lucille @queenofshinigamis @winxschester @xcinnamonmalfoyx @ladymarg0t @yazzzmints @namoreno @wintrr13 @fan-goddess

#aemond targaryen x you #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond fanfiction #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #hotd aemond #modern aemond targaryen #modern aemond

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gb-patch · 6 months

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New Community Management Help!

Hey everyone!

There's some good news at GB Patch Games. My brother David who edits game scripts is now also going to help with getting back to people who have general questions/comments going forward.

On our Patreon nothing is gonna change, it'll still be me 100% of the time for every interaction. I'm also going to be the one making all update posts on socials and answering asks here on Tumblr and anything more unique like that. But if someone makes a comment on Kickstarter asking if the game will be available on Switch or someone sends a message to the company email asking if the game is available in other languages or anything of that nature, then it'll most likely be David who sends off a quick reply.

Since we've not got a more frequently updating TikTok now and a very active Kickstarter, the amount of queries being sent in each day has finally tipped past what I can manage to keep up with while still getting as much game development work done as I need to. I'm very grateful I won't have to choose between getting behind on writing/programming and having to make people wait a long time for replies to even basic things.

I never expected I'd have to make this kind of change. I'd been determined to reply to every single thing myself forever, aha. But it's great to see that interest in our games has only kept growing over the years! Thank you for the support. We'll all keep doing our best here at GB Patch Games 💕.

#our life #visual novel #dating sim #interactive fiction #our life: beginnings & always #our life: now & forever #gb patch #gb patch games

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donascozylivingroom · 2 months

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LET GO OF THE STRESS AND HUSTLE TO 'GET THERE'

I was scrolling through tiktok and i found a post by someone who told me if i am comfortable in my life i shouldn't be, because i am not working on my next level. i got annoyed and skipped, two videos later: "if u want to be more comfortable..." ... skip!

i'm tired of society convincing us where we are is not ok. i either must want to be more or less comfortable, never accept my life and improve upon the life i have right now with as tiny steps as i feel i can right now.

guess what - I AM COMFORTABLE! And I love it.

I used to be a master at hustling, doing everything i can to get my million dollars and NYC Penthouse. Manifesting didn t work for me until i learned to robotically affirm and persist, and since then i am getting everything i want. And yeah I still have resistance to 2 of my only big desires, everything else i'm getting affirming 1-3 times because i assume i only need to affirm once and i get it, i repeated that for a while and ever since manifestation has been so easy.

And yeah just because i didn t get my 2 main desires yet, I AM COMFORTABLE. I understand that those things I want so much are part of my soul lessons and why my soul came here. God/Source/myself before this life decided to make some things harder than others, and that's okay.

My whole life i was either uncomfortable because i didn t get something external, or worried - why am I so comfortable?

I learned to never do anything that is not easy because my plan for this life is to FLOW, but still i was fed by the media that i am not perfect as i am, or where i am. It's not true.

Wherever you are, it's your starting place, your zero point. And if you are experiencing it, you are probably meant to be there. I mean look around u in the present moment, not to your mind. Are you okay? You're meant to be here, boo.

How can you make your life more beautiful where you are? How can you be more grateful for what is around you? What you already have.

There s no rush, you don't have to get there tomorrow. I know when you are young it seems like you have to do everything very fast, and the speed of manifestation on this planet has improved since i was a kid, everything seems to be more light and fast, BUT...

There will probably be a few more years until the speed of manifestation will be instant, especially for every single thing.

You are part of a collective, a collective consciousness, and everyone must be on board until they push the START button from above 🤭😁

We are literally on this mission together, it's not just about you, it is about the ascension of Earth and its citizens.

Don't stress! Make it your job to relax whatever happens and you will see small improvement after small improvement which will lead to an easy, chilled life that is financially supported by the Universe enough that u have time to do your affirmations, your journaling, your shadow work, etc. Make it a habit to not stress, because stress is always misaligned since it doesn t feel good.

My life currently: affirming, journaling and pinteresting most of the day while in bed...earlier i did groceries and got a lot of things i love to eat and would be considered expensive where i live. Spent 120 euro today and i am in europe. I don't work. I only manifest haha. I'm yet to be at the financial level i want (one of my two desires i'm working on) but i still live a comfortable life, a life that energetically i wish i will have once i have lots and lots of money, because the vibes are amazing. I'd rather have this warm house and bed, friendships and good vibes than a view from the last floor in NYC from my bed, while ridden with anxiety and loneliness.

Ya know.. Everything will be ok, if you struggle to affirm meditate and try your affirmations just once to check how it feels with eyes closed within your inner being..and then check more affirmations one at a time... and ask yourself, your inner being: what do i really need? what do i really want? and when you are clear, then start repeating and manifesting.

good luck!

#manifesting #manifestation #affirmations #affirmyourreality #law of assumption #persistence #robotic affirming #loassumption #loa #relaxation #relax #relax timely reminder

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cutielando · 2 months

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rookie of the year ~ oscar piastri

Summary: On a mission to prove everyone wrong, Oscar end up having one of the most impressive rookie seasons ever in Formula 1 and receiving Rookie of the Year award, but he knows he couldn't have done it without your support.

Words: 1.1k+

Other works: my masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡

Being named Rookie of the Year had been the absolute highlight of the season for Oscar. He had been very nervous coming into Formula 1, knowing it would be a major change from Formula 2.

And yet here he was, with you on his way to Baku to receive the Rookie of the Year award.

You couldn't have been more proud of him, knowing how much work he had put in to get here and how grateful he was for the opportunity he had been given.

"How do I look?" you asked Oscar as you smoothed down your flowery dark blue dress, checking your reflection out in the full-length mirror.

"Absolutely gorgeous as always" he cooed as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your torso, resting his head on your shoulder.

You fell silent for a moment and just admired the two of you in the mirror, wrapped up in each other's arms. How the man still managed to give you butterflies after 4 years together, you didn't know.

But you were oh so grateful.

"Ready to receive your award?" you finally broke the silence and turned around in his arms, now looping the loosely around his neck.

"Yeah, but I'm looking forward to showing you off more than the award" he mumbled huskily, leaning his head down to your neck and planting kisses all along your throat, making a moan escape your lips.

"If you keep that up, we're going to miss the ceremony" you managed to get out before a small moan escaped again.

"Let's just stay here and not go" he mumbled, now sucking on the spot behind your ear that he knew made you absolutely crazy.

"Nuh-uh. I want to see my boy up on that stage getting his award. Come on, let's go" it took all the strength you had in your body to pull away from him in that moment, but you knew it was for the best.

Oscar just groaned, but stomped after you to the car that was waiting for you.

♡♡♡♡♡

"Is it just me or is my shirt a little too tight?" Oscar aske as you were seated at the table, waiting for the ceremony to start.

He was tugging at the collar of his shirt, feeling the shirt too tight around his neck.

"You got buffed since you bought this shirt" you joked, helping him undo a button.

"I got what?" you loved how confused Oscar was because he wasn't familiar with the modern slang concerning his beefy neck.

"Means your neck muscles got bigger so you look more beefier" you explained, brushing a strand of his hair out of his eyes.

"Oh" he said, slowly nodding his head.

You chuckled at how cute he was and quickly pecked his lips, just as the lights started to dim and everyone started applauding.

"Good evening everyone and welcome..."

♡♡♡♡♡

"I'm nervous" Oscar leaned and whispered to you as the time for him to accept his award was coming up any minute.

"You deserve this, love. You just go up there and take the award that you deserve, you don't have to be nervous about anything" you took his hand and squeezed it, leaning in to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He sighed but nodded, leaning back and keeping your hand in his.

Oscar was new to all of this, which is why he was nervous and cautious about every step he took in his career. He was bound to be judged more harshly and he had been under the microscope ever since the season started because he was a rookie and he needed to impress the fans and the people who put trust in him.

He deserved this award more than anyone, you had never seen someone have such an amazing rookie season in years.

"And now, the category you all have been waiting for. Rookie of the Year" one of the presenters announced, making Oscar even more tense and nervous in his seat.

You squeezed his hand once again, giving him an encouraging smile.

"And now, the moment everyone this evening has been waiting for. The Worldwide Motorsport Rookie of the Year award goes to none other than McLaren's Oscar Piastri!"

The whole venue started clapping loudly, some of them even whistling in your boyfriend's name. Oscar stood up and brought you into a hug, pecking your lips quickly. He shook hands with everyone at the table before he got up on the stage to accept the award.

Once the photo had been taken, the presenters urged Oscar to say a few words in light of receiving the prestigious award.

"Good evening everyone, I hope you are all having a great time tonight. Um, wow, this is a very big deal for me, if you couldn't already tell. I'm extremely grateful to everyone from the McLaren team, the engineers, Mark, Zak, everyone who believed in me enough to give me a chance here in Formula 1. I'm grateful for my family because they've supported me in this journey from the very start, they believed in me and never let me quit on myself. Thank you to all the fans for supporting me and the team this whole season, your support means more to us than you could ever imagine. And lastly, I want to thank my girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N, who's here with me tonight" he pointed towards you in the crowd, making you blush. "I couldn't have done this without her by my side. She has been with me at every race this season, she has been my absolute rock, supporting me even when I might not have deserved it. I'm grateful for everything you do for me and I don't think I could ever spend a day without you or I'd go crazy. Call me a simp, but I can't live without you. I love you, so much. Thank you everyone!" he raised his award over his head before turning around and walking off the stage.

When he came back at the table, you couldn't help but attack him with a hug, pressing kisses all over his face until you got to his lips, lingering for a moment longer.

"I love you so much, Oscar" you whispered, stroking his cheek with your thumb. "I'm so proud of everything you've achieved with the team this season and I can't wait to see what next year has in story for you"

"I meant it when I said I couldn't live without you. Your support is what got me through the first half of the season. God knows I wouldn't have been able to get through it on my own"

You smiled teasingly, pecking his lips again before settling back in your seat, your hands tightly intertwined.

As you sneaked glances at him, your heart swelled with pride every time.

Your Rookie of the Year.

Your boy.

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newarcana · 3 months

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general update (no news)

Hi! I continue to get very nice asks, and I feel bad responding to just one when I can't respond to all of them. So here's an update:

My health and job have stabilized. That's not to say all my problems are fixed/cured, just that things are currently under control. I still have to do hours of physical therapy exercises each week, along with cooking a special diet, and limiting how much time I spend looking at screens. I had some treatments for my eyes that helped a lot, so they're no longer inflamed, but I have to work to keep them that way. Staying healthy takes a lot of time and work! This is pretty much how things will be for the rest of my life, but I'm grateful that I'm no longer in a state of physical suffering or extreme stress.

So, with the number of hours I have in a day, I can pretty much do my job and all the health maintenance stuff, and that's it. My job does pay well enough that I'm able to save almost half my income each month for early retirement, and I absolutely still plan to spend my retirement working on Guenevere and similar things. That's still what gets me out of bed in the mornings.

As always, thank you to everyone who has sent messages, which I do read even though I can't reply. Your kindness and support means everything!

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kizioziki · 4 months

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I'm here to meet you.

皆様お元気でしょうか？お久しぶりです🌸 How are you all doing? It’s been a long time 🌸

今回の題名にて「あなたに会いに来ました」をテーマにしてみました。相変わらずいろんなマダサクを描いて楽しんでおります！！いろんなふたりを描くことは私の生きがいでもあります。ふたりのラブロマンスを全力で応援しております。フォロワーの皆様、いつも応援してくださる皆様、手を止めて見てくださったマダサク好きの皆様とも一緒に、この気持ちを共有できればとても嬉しいデス///

This time's title is based on the theme "I came to see you." I'm still having fun drawing all kinds of Madasaku! ! Drawing various people is also my purpose in life. We are fully supporting their love romance. I would be very happy if I could share this feeling with all my followers, everyone who always supports me, and all the Madasaku fans who stopped by to watch.

いつもありがとうございます！！！ I am always grateful for your help! ! !

10月、11月と舞台最終章を見に行きました。こちらも最高の時間を過ごし、マダサクの絡みは血眼で探しつつストーリーのラストを楽しみ、最後を全力体感しました！！素晴らしい時間を��ごすことができました。マダラとサクラちゃんの戦闘シーンもありました！！本体マダラと戦うシーンは胸が熱くなりました。どちらの強い思いもぶつかって😿が止まらない。サクラちゃん途中マイクトラブル？もあるシーンがありましたが、熱い演技、表情、声でカバーし舞台を圧倒していました。最後だと思うととても寂しいですが、オフショットを役者様が投稿してくださっており私はとても救われました。また、会いたいなぁ🌸本当にありがとうございました！！

I went to see the final chapter of the play in October and November. I had a great time here as well, and enjoyed the end of the story while searching for Madasaku　involvement, and felt the ending to the fullest! ! We had a wonderful time. There was also a battle scene between Madara and Sakura-chan! ! The scene where he fights the main character Madara was heart-warming. Both strong feelings collide and I can't stop 😿. Sakura-chan, microphone trouble on the way? There was a certain scene, but they overwhelmed the stage with their passionate acting, facial expressions, and voices. I feel very sad thinking that it's the last time, but the actors posted off-shots and I was very relieved. I want to see you again 🌸 Thank you so much! !

こちらは少しおまけ💖高い買い物になりましたが、我が家もついにお迎えいたしました。このマダラモデルは最高です。どのアングルも本当に本家、原作かと思うくらいの仕上がり！！頑張って働いてついにお迎えでき、幸せです。これからのマダサクを描く上での活力とします！！やばいクオリティ！！すごいです！！！（同じメーカーでサクラちゃんも作ってくれないかな…？🌸）

This is a little extra 💖It was an expensive purchase, but we finally welcomed it into our home. This Madara model is the best. Every angle is truly the original, and the finish is so good that you'll think it's the original work! ! I am happy to have worked so hard to finally welcome you. I will use it as a source of energy for drawing Madasaku in the future! ! Awesome quality! ! It's amazing! ! ! (I wonder if the same manufacturer could make Sakura-chan too…?🌸)

もう少しでマダラの誕生日ですね！！投稿できるか分かりませんが、全力で当日はお祝いしたいと思います！！ Madara's birthday is almost here! ! I don't know if I can post it, but　I would like to celebrate this day with all my might! !

皆様、お体を大切に。🌼 ありがとうございました！❄⛄ Everyone, please take care of yourselves. 🌼 thank you very much! ❄⛄

Do not forget me...

#madasaku

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lycheedr3ams · 10 months

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Death's Angel

Part 5: When No One is Watching

royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig

Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.

Warnings: MDNI! smut, mutual pining, forbidden love, death (konig is an executioner duh), mean sisters, mentions of medieval-type violence, overbearing parents, konig is brooding and a perv, some predator/prey dynamics, possessive!konig, maybe dark themes bc reader likes seeing him kill people and bc he's a perv?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6

if you asked to be tagged on the taglist and you aren't there, that means tumblr wasn't letting me tag you, or i missed you on an older post. i'm not ignoring anyone! i'm very grateful for the support!!!

.......

series inspired by the art below!

your first sexual encounter with konig truly spelled the end for you as a well-to-do, behaved princess. when people were watching - your sisters, parents, family members - you were sure to act your civilized, royal self. you kept up with your studies and your duties in the royal court when in the public eye. to everyone, it seemed as though nothing had changed: you were the same girl that you were before konig entered the castle. you still curtsied exactly like how you were taught, you still covered your mouth when you chewed food, you still were educated and prim and proper.

but when no one was looking? when every living soul in the castle was asleep at night? that was a different story. you would - almost nightly - sneak down to konig's quarters and let him have his way with you time and time and time again. whether it was his cock shoved down your throat, his tongue slurping on your cunt, or his cock pounding you from every position imaginable, the princess you once were was long forgotten. konig never took the mask off, but you didn't mind. you once admitted to him in the midst of a rough session that the mask really turned you on.

there were even some nights that you'd have to stay in his room with him. nights when he fucked you so hard for so long that you would fall upon standing, or you'd simply pass out once he finally pulled out of your irresistible pussy. on those nights, he'd hold you close and gently caress your head and whisper things to you that you had no hope of remembering. all you knew was that he only spoke those words when it was clear you wouldn't remember them. on nights like these, when you had to stay in his quarters, he would wake you up very early to give you time to sneak back to your room and bathe before you had to don the royal facade.

there were some nights when konig would come all over your body, when it would cover your tits and ass and stomach and sometimes face. you quickly ran out of spare cloths, and had to sneak some more down each time you went. as for the cloths that got ruined, well, you had no choice but to burn them. there was no way they would ever truly be clean again. just like you, in a way.

when you would see konig outside of his room, the days you had to watch his executions, you ruined a pair of panties each time you saw him at his trade. the way he grunted and swung his axe had you hot and needy in minutes. there were some days when you couldn't wait until it was night, and konig could barely clean the blood from off his hands before you were pulling him into some spare broom closet for him to fuck you with his large, calloused hand clamped over your mouth. you'd clench around him so tightly when he did that, and he never last long during those specific encounters.

you found that you could barely focus during the day. acting like the pure princess you once were was now a quite tiresome task, and was not your true self, as you saw it. your true self was when you were on your knees for your executioner, or when his cock was rammed all the way up to your cervix. you couldn't admit it, but konig was right. he did ruin you.

the length of your conversations varied. sometimes, there was barely any words exchanged before he'd strip you bare. but there were also days when you would sneak him down some food from the royal table, and you'd watch him adoringly as he ate and muttered about how good it tasted. he would never tell you, but he loved it when you brought him food.

there were some conversations you had that konig told you to forget. conversations where he talked about how sweet you were, how you were truly an angel.

"you are an angel, you know that?" he whispered one night as you lay catching your breath with your cheek against his chest.

"hm?" you asked, not quite hearing what he said.

"Du bist meine Engel."

despite konig wanting you to forget those words, you never would. when you asked him why he wanted you to forget, he'd whisper things like "you've made me soft." you would always smile at him when he said that, and he would always avert his gaze.

there were times when he felt disgusting and dirty for treating one of the Austrian princesses like she was a whore on sale during happy hour. there were times he lay awake at night and wondered why he was so disgusting, why he loved corrupting a beautiful, sweet, innocent creature such as yourself. but he couldn't ever feel disgusted with himself for too long when he saw the way your eyes would roll into the back of your head, or how you'd moan his name as you clawed his back red. if you were his angel, you had fallen from heaven, but not from any fault of your own. he had dragged you down, and you fell willingly.

you had never felt so free, though. in konig's quarters, surrounded by stone and dim torchlight, you could forget about the social rules and niceties and courtesies that littered your mind each day. you could look konig in the eye, not have to bow, not have to cover your mouth when you laughed or worried if your dress was sitting properly. konig's quarters was the one place in the whole castle where you felt you could be yourself, and more than just sexually. there were some times when you two wouldn't fuck at all. you'd just lay on his bed, and he'd listen as you talked about your day as he ran a hand gently through your hair. he never talked much about himself, but his lips certainly got a bit looser when you snuck your hand under his shirt.

...

"you can talk to me, konig," you whispered in his ear one night as you gently dragged his shirt halfway up his chest and rubbed his abs. "you can trust me." you could tell that something had been bothering him the last few days.

konig pursed his lips under his mask and closed his eyes. you could feel the way his stomach rose and fell with each of his breaths. you kissed what skin you could access on his shoulder before he finally spoke.

"if anyone finds out, they'll take you away from me," he whispered quickly, as if he didn't want you to hear it.

you stopped stroking his abs and sat up a little to look at him. "no one's gonna find out," you soothed him as you gazed into his grey-blue eyes. "don't worry. we've been careful."

"they'll take you away from me," he repeated, gazing at the ceiling now rather than at you.

you kissed his cheek through his mask, and he blushed. but you wouldn't know. "if anyone manages to find out, I'll take care of it. nothing will come between us."

you laid back down and stroked his chest once again. "if we were to, I don't know, run away, where would you take me?"

konig blinked and wasn't sure if he heard your question. he mulled over your words, and hugged you a little tighter into his side. "as far away from here as possible."

"if I wanted to run away with you, you'd come with me, right?" you asked as you looked up at him.

"that's not a good idea," he scolded, but his attempts at setting you straight were feeble given how broken his voice sounded.

"I didn't ask if it's a good idea, konig," you said gently as you snaked your hand up his chest towards his hooded face. "I asked if you would come with me."

"yes." he said without any hesitation.

...

as the next month flew by and you and konig got closer, it got ever harder to hide your relationship with him. you two had never officially declared your status to each other, but konig's affections for you were beginning to be expressed in ways other than him fucking you senseless. if he saw a pretty rock in the stream he washes his clothes in, he'd save it for you. if he found a colorful feather on the ground, a shiny coin, any little trinket, he would give you. most times, he would take your hand in his own and place the gift in your palm before turning his body to the side. "I thought you might want this," he'd whisper uncertainly. you always smiled and thanked him so sweetly for his little gifts. signs he was always thinking of you. you were used to always receiving lavish gifts of jewels and clothing, makeup and rare gadgets. but Konig's gifts of little things he stumbled on throughout the day warmed your heart and meant so much more to you than any other gift you'd ever received. his gifts had a childlike innocence to them, and almost made you forget how he ruined you most nights. those gifts hinted to you that maybe you meant more to konig than you thought.

...

sometimes, you would fantasize with konig about what life would be like if you two ran away.

"what would you do if you weren't an executioner?" you asked him after a rather soft session. he was spooning you and gently rubbing your hips with his thumb. your head rested on his firm bicep.

he thought for a moment. "probably be a knight, or mercenary for hire. i am not fit for normal jobs."

you giggled softly. "yeah, I can see that."

"what about you?" he asked. "what would you want to be if you weren't a princess?"

your whole world stopped, and your eyes went wide. no one had ever asked you that. you were the one living the life that all the little girls in your kingdom dreamed of. what you were every day of your life, is most women's highest fantasies. why would anyone ever ask you if you would want to be anything other than a princess? what else would you possibly want to be? you paused for a while as you thought and chewed your cheek.

"i...i don't know, konig," you admitted quietly. "maybe...just living in a little cottage by the countryside. just enjoying each day, doing what I want. maybe be a village herbalist, have some cows and chickens."

konig gently squeezed your hip. "that sounds very peaceful, Engel."

you went silent, but the warm tears that fell on konig's bicep spoke more than your words ever could. he hugged you tighter and closer to him.

"if you want me to take you away from here, i will. you have my word, Engel."

you sniffled. "you can't do that konig. you have a job here, you can't just mess up your life for me."

"my life was messed up the moment i first looked at you," he said sincerely. rough around the edges, but you knew he meant well. "there's no going back. I don't want to go back. if you want to go, we go."

your head spun. "but how will we pay for everything?"

"do not worry, Engel," he said as he stroked your hair. "i have money saved, and i'm sure you could sneak some of your own on the way out. all will be well."

you held onto his bicep as you cried, and he soothed you as best as he could. you finally managed to stop crying, and now lay tired and limp against him.

"just say when, Engel," he whispered into your hair. "just say when, and we will go."

taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful, @dumb-dumb-idiot-girl, @elichisstuff, @konig-breedme, @tr4psta, @cutiecusp, @konigsleftkidney, @local-vampire-s1ut, @ihaveaproblematicbrain, @twice360noscope, @madzeesstuff, @crazy-phan-girl13, @babygirl-panda19, @warrior-of-justice, @eluffi, @mooniesthings, @elowynnlane, @zaxlrza, @red-bed-bug

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lavendercharm · 2 months

Text

Linger, Chapter 5: Kiss With A Fist/Human Nature

A/N:

Ya'll. Writing this chapter felt like a marathon. But I think I'm ultimately very happy with it. Please let me know what you think!

This chapter is a bit longer, and I think it deserved to be named after two songs because of that. "Kiss With A Fist" by Florence + The Machine definitely fits the first half of this chapter and was one of the first songs I added to my playlist when writing this story, so I knew I wanted to use it for the big public confrontation.

The vibes toward the end are different. I discovered this song earlier this week and haven't been able to stop listening to it, so maybe I'm just reaching to try and justify including it lol. But "Human Nature" by Barrie is what I decided to use for the second half of this. Cause they're spitting facts when they say "Human nature doesn't always come easy" lmfao.

This is far from the end of this story, but it may be a second before you hear from me, depending on how busy the next few weeks are. I say that - watch me turn around and post something this weekend lol.

Thank you to everyone who's stuck with me thus far. I love you and I'm so grateful to know you're along for the ride.

---

Summary: From the moment you meet her, you can't stand Melissa Schemmenti.

Warnings: Strong Language

---

Barbara Howard did not take days off. It was only recently that she allowed herself her first mental health day, and while she could see the benefits, she had been eager to get back to her classroom, her students, her best friend, and even her coworkers. The life of a teacher was unpredictable, and the life of a teacher at Abbott Elementary came with its own unique set of challenges, but Barbara had seen a lot in her decades of teaching. With some hard work, support from her fellow teachers, and the grace of God himself, she had seen and survived it all. Barbara Howard could conquer anything thrown her way.

However, if Barbara had the magical gift of foresight, she might have chosen Monday morning to take her second mental health day in her entire history at Abbott.

As it was, Barbara could not see into the future, and so she entered the teacher’s lounge at 6:30 AM, on the dot. She claimed her usual spot, made herself a cup of coffee, and began sorting through her lesson plans for the week. She enjoyed her few moments of serenity in the lounge prior to the arrival of her more talkative coworkers. It wasn’t unusual for Melissa to arrive a bit later, especially on a Monday, so Barbara thought nothing of her absence. She politely greeted Janine and Jacob as they entered together; she did the same for Gregory shortly after. As the three younger teachers gathered at their table and discussed their weekends, Barbara continued her work, occasionally reacting to what she overheard. And when you entered the lounge, your first time visiting in the morning, Barbara was mildly surprised, but she shot you a warm smile all the same. She noticed you seemed to be a bit tense, but she chalked it up to the fact that you were still very new.

Melissa had talked her ear off about you last Monday, of course, explaining your tardiness and the shots you’d taken at her about her age. When Barb pressed her for details about your confrontation and what you’d said to each other, she simply said, “I took care of business, a’right?”

While Barbara agreed it was unprofessional of you to arrive late, she also knew Melissa better than anyone else in Abbott did; she knew Melissa could take things too far. Melissa was as passionate as they came, which meant she was one of the best teachers at the school. On the flip side, she also had a short fuse. Barbara knew she didn’t have all of the details, but she didn’t think much of it - you were a sub, after all. She expected she’d never actually meet you.

So when you arrived in the lounge for lunch the day after your explosive argument, she was shocked. While skeptical of you, she couldn’t help but admire your tenacity. You’d come face to face with the wrath of Melissa Schemmenti and still returned to Abbott. You’d introduced yourself, and as far as Barbara could tell, you were perfectly polite and well mannered. The displeasure and hostility radiating off of Melissa was felt by everyone in the lounge, but aside from giving her close friend a pointed look, Barbara chose to ignore it.

You’d continued showing up the rest of the week, greeting Barbara every day before taking a seat with Janine and Jacob, as well as Gregory, occasionally. The younger teachers seemed to have taken an instant liking to you, the four of you sharing stories from previous schools or discussing the latest movie releases. You’d even had a good-natured exchange with Ava one morning. The principal had leant against the corner with her phone and talked you through her “roster”, whatever that meant. Barbara was sure she didn’t want to know.

Barbara observed how seamlessly you integrated into Abbott’s social circles - with the obvious exception of the red head who always sat to her right in the lounge. Melissa pretended you didn't exist, which would have been fine if it wasn’t the elephant in the room. Your first day in the lounge, Janine had tried to talk to Melissa about you. She’d turned to Melissa with a huge grin on her face and said, “Man, Melissa, you’re so lucky to have such an awesome sub as your aide.”

Melissa had glanced at Janine over the rim of her cat-eye glasses, and in a sharp tone, retorted, “What sub?” That’s all it took for everyone in the room to grasp her unspoken message: If you value your life, drop it. The only reaction Barbara saw was a sharp flash of your eyes before you turned your back to the older woman and called Janine over, changing the subject.

But last Friday, Melissa caught up with Barbara after the school day ended and explained that you’d just given her two VIP tickets to the Eagles game on Sunday. If there was anything that would help Melissa forgive your transgressions, it was that. Once again, Barbara found herself impressed with you - you took the initiative to make amends and you’d knocked it out of the park. She was happy for her friend. She’d told Melissa, “Just think of how much you’ll be able to accomplish now that you and that young woman can work together. Now, you and Gary go enjoy that ball game.”

A week after your first morning at Abbott, all of the water was seemingly under the bridge, and the staff room could breathe easy again. No one paid much mind to the anxiety radiating off of you. For the most part, the energy in the room was calming as the day began.

The sudden CRACK of the door slamming into the shelves violently ripped the room’s occupants out of their morning zen. It was enough to cause everyone to nearly jump out of their skin. Heads whipped in the direction of the doorway as Melissa’s furious form charged into the lounge. Her attention was initially on Barb, but as she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes locked on you. The blush of fury rose instantly in her cheeks. She ripped her bag off of her shoulder and tossed it in the direction of her regular table, nearly hitting Barbara in the process, and as her eyes narrowed, you could practically see the steam rolling off of her as she hissed out, “You.”

And that’s when Barbara knew any chance of a peaceful morning had gone out the window.

—----------------------

As your weekend began, it didn’t take long for it to sink in that you were well and truly fucked. You completely failed to consider the consequences of your little scheme. There’s no way in hell Melissa wouldn’t be out for blood at the start of the next school week. The smartest thing to do would be to never return to Abbott, move to a new city across the country, and change your legal name. You went back and forth between chastising yourself for being ridiculous, and being so ridden with anxiety that you couldn’t eat. You felt so stupid - what did you think would happen?

Ultimately, you reached a point where you couldn’t handle the crushing weight of what you’d done alone, so you’d spilled to Ava. Her response had been about the least reassuring thing she could have said.

You did WHAT? I didn’t know you were crazy like that! You’re gonna die girl. I’m not even joking. We gotta go out this weekend, cause it’s your last one alive. I’ll make sure you have fun tho. Do you own any latex?

After refusing Ava’s offers to make your last days on earth worthwhile, you spent most of the weekend drowning in anxiety and imagining how Melissa would bring about your demise. You decided you had to do your best to prepare. You literally couldn’t afford to not go back to Abbott, especially after getting your headlights repaired Saturday afternoon. Under the anxiety, you could feel the ember of your rage, still pulsing with a red-hot glow, so you decided to grasp ahold of it. What you’d done was shitty, sure. But compared to smashing headlights? All you’d done was get even.

Seeing as you couldn’t afford to uproot your whole life and leave Philadelphia, the next most logical thing to do was to never be caught alone in a room with Melissa ever again. You were pretty sure this was something you could pull off - you figured you had two weeks left at Abbott tops, and as long as you had kids or other teachers in the same room, you would have witnesses who could recount your violent death should Melissa murder you.

This is what caused you to arrive at Abbott on Monday morning a full hour and a half before you needed to be there. You’d dithered in your car for about fifteen minutes, debating driving away and then talking yourself out of it. Eventually, you braved the outdoors, darting into the building and down the hallways as quickly as you could. You practically sprinted past Melissa’s classroom door - the lights were out, but even though you logically knew she wasn’t in yet, your mind conjured a vivid image of her jumping out of the shadows like a monster in waiting. You slowed down and tried to control your breathing as you entered the teacher’s lounge, and you were immediately soothed to see how many people were already there. Even better, Melissa was absent.

As you passed Barbara, you gave her a hesitant smile. You actually liked Barbara, as much as you can like someone who’s polite and whom you don’t know very well. You figured it may be the last chance you get - surely the woman would turn against you once Melissa told her what you’d done. Janine, Jacob, and Gregory were all sitting at your usual table, and after preparing your morning coffee, you quickly situated yourself in a seat, thankfully facing the door to the lounge.

“Hey!” Janine said, shooting you her adorable, slightly gapped-toothed smile. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, uh… it was fine,” you said, your eyes darting toward the door as it opened. Not Melissa . “Mostly caught up on chores… had to get some work done to my car, fun stuff like that.”

“Car problems are tough,” Gregory said, spooning a bite out of his bowl of plain oatmeal. “What was wrong with it?”

“Uh…” you hesitated, unsure if you wanted to share what was really wrong. It would inevitably lead to questions and the last thing you wanted was for everyone to know the details of your feud. It was one thing for everyone to know Melissa didn’t like you - there were very few people Melissa actually liked in general. But it was another entirely for them to know she’d smashed out your headlights. Something generic - a bad alternator, maybe - would suffice.

You didn’t even get the chance to lie.

Despite the fact that you could see the doorway, the resounding SMACK of the door slamming open still made you jump. Before your brain knew what it was processing, in stormed Melissa Schemmenti, thick heels clacking on the linoleum tiles. She wore a form fitting pink sweater, the neckline questionably appropriate, and skin tight black pants. Her saint necklaces shimmered from their home on her collarbones. You supposed she wanted to look hot when she killed you.

It only took a moment for her eyes to lock on you, and in that moment you knew things were about to get ugly. To your surprise, seeing the flustered state she was in created a feeling of immense satisfaction. She was furious because your plan had worked. You didn’t even fight the smile that began to find its way onto your lips. The anxiety wasn’t gone, but you relished in the triumphant feeling of landing a critical hit.

“ You,” she hisses, tossing her bag from her shoulder. The tension in the air was thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Your eyebrows shoot up, feigned ignorance in your voice as you point at yourself and respond, “Who, me?”

She starts toward you, and everyone else at your table scatters. You’re shocked to see Janine step in front of you, her hands up placatingly. “Melissa-”

“Shut it, pipsqueak, and get out of my way ,” she growls, her gaze over Janine’s head burning holes in you.

“Hey!” You spit out, anger spiking and crowding out your anxiety. You’re suddenly standing. “Don’t call her that!”

Janine turns to you, holding a hand in your direction now too. “It’s fine, she calls me that all the time-”

“It’s not fine!” You shout, fists balled. Your eyes are glued to Melissa’s. “You think you can say and do whatever you want because no one will stand up to you. Well, I’m not going to put up with it!”

“Oh my god, please stop this. I will never psychologically recover from seeing your dead body,” Jacob pleads, wedged between the corner of the room and the fridge for cover.

“Can’t believe I was dumb enough to trust ya,” Melissa growls. “And after all that bullshit about ‘olive branches' and bein’ cordial.”

You smirk. “Oh, right! How was the game?”

Melissa starts forward again and Janine has to physically hold her back. She’s shockingly effective in spite of her small stature.

“Ya know I didn’t get into the game! Gary and I went all the way to the stadium, but you gave me fake tickets! We wasted our whole afternoon and got harassed by security!” she shouts.

“So what are you gonna do about it? Beat me up? Call the cops on me?” you challenge.

A deeply offended look crosses Melissa’s face as her jaw drops. “Are you callin’ me a snitch?” she snarls. She surges against Janine one more time, who manages to keep her back again. “That’s low, even for you!” Melissa says nastily over Janine’s shoulder.

“Oh, that’s low?” You ask incredulously. “Low like smashing someone’s headlights out?” There’s an audible gasp from Jacob in the corner, and you feel the heat of everyone’s gaze turn from you to Melissa, the whole room enthralled by your verbal tennis match.

Melissa glances around her before pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Ya can’t prove that was me!” You thought someone would have to have been born yesterday to believe that; anyone who worked at Abbott knew that’s exactly something Melissa would do.

“Oh yeah, because everyone else here keeps a bat taped under their desk like a neurotic asshole!” you proclaim, throwing your hands up in the air.

“I’ll show you ya stronza- ” Melissa hisses, pushing past Janine and beginning to reach for you. Your arms come up to instinctively protect your face, but before she can reach you, a figure closer to your height blocks your vision.

“THAT IS ENOUGH!” Barbara Howard bellows. The whole room comes to a standstill, frozen in time. Even Melissa has been stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide in shock as Barbara looks accusingly between the two of you. You feel immediately ashamed. “Are you both not grown adults? I cannot believe the absolute foolishness I’ve just witnessed!” She rounds on Melissa. “Especially from you!”

“Barb, she-” Melissa starts.

“I don’t care if she insulted your cooking to your face, you do not behave like catty teenagers! We are professional, grown people! Acting like this in front of your peers? Disgraceful! ”

She rounds on you, her eyes narrowing. “And you. To think that I was beginning to think highly of you. You went to all that trouble to make fake football tickets, just to get back at Melissa? Have you ever heard the phrase ‘An eye for an eye’ ?”

The pit of shame in your stomach is sickening as you slowly lower your arms, your eyes unable to meet Barbara’s. Feeling like a petulant child, you couldn’t help but mutter, “She started it.”

“And now I’m ending it!” Barbara yells. You feel her grip the sleeve of your sweater and pull. You stumble after, seeing her grasp Melissa as well. “You are both coming with me!” The rest of the lounge doesn’t move a muscle as Barbara Howard physically drags you into the hallway.

She marches with both of you in tow, Melissa sending you the nastiest glares she can muster from the other side of her friend. Stopping in front of a classroom full of bright colors and tiny chairs, Barbara turns to both of you. “This has gotten completely out of hand! You are both going to sit in my room and we are going to work through this. I don’t care if it takes all day - you will NOT be allowed out until you can act like civilized adults!” She folds her arms and gestures her head forward. You stare back for a moment, thinking she must be joking, but the woman doesn’t budge. After a moment longer, you enter the classroom. You’re followed closely by Melissa, who stalks to the other end of the room.

Barbara closes her door and pulls down the window blind. She turns to you both, her eyes closed and her shoulders rising in deep, even breaths. Eventually, she opens her eyes, and commands, “Take a seat.”

You glance around and only see chairs for children. You begin to protest, but the look on Barbara’s face prompts you to simply grab the nearest chair and plant yourself in it. Your knees are comically close to your chest and you don’t know where to put your hands. You settle on resting them on top of your knees. Melissa is pacing back and forth, muttering to herself - you guess she gets to ignore Barbara’s request.

“Now,” Barbara begins. “We are going to talk out your problems so we can put this whole mess behind us. Your students deserve you at your best, and you cannot be your best when you’re at each other’s throats!” She’s stern, chastising, and you feel ridiculous. “Where did all of this animosity start? Why are you angry with Melissa?”

You can’t help but scoff because the answer should be obvious. Barbara presses her lips together in annoyance and you quickly reply, “Well, where do I begin? Aside from smashing my headlights out, she’s done nothing but disrespect me since I stepped foot in her room. She was insulting me before she even learned my name!”

“I never learned your name,” she pipes up spitefully, and you whip your head around to glare at her.

“Memory not as good as it used to be?” you retort. A muscle in her jaw jumps out as she clenches her jaw, her face coloring once more.

Before she has a chance to rip into you again, Barbara cuts you both off with a stern, “Knock it off!” She looks exasperatedly between the two of you before pinching the bridge of her nose. “The Lord is testing me today,” she whispers to herself, shaking her head. She turns her attention to the fiery woman across the room. “Melissa?”

Melissa comes to a stop, planting herself and leaning her weight onto one hip. She rolls her eyes, gesticulating wildly as she speaks. “If we’re goin’ back to the start, then first things first, she strolled into my class thirty minutes late. Didn’t even have the decency to apologize.”

“You didn’t give me a chance to!” you protest. “I hadn't even stepped into the room before you were criticizing me. It’s not like I did it on purpose, it was a complete and total accident. And then you started insulting how young and inexperienced I look.”

“I was just givin’ you a hard time, that’s all,” she says indignantly. “How was I suppose ta know you can’t take a joke?”

Your head whips toward her. “And smashing my headlights? Was that a joke?” you retort incredulously.

Her eyes narrow and her tone is venomous as she hisses, “Nah, that was for throwin’ away my school supplies, stealin’ lunches, and callin’ me a bitch.”

You hear Barbara’s sharp inhale and jump to defend yourself. “Those supplies were all broken or unusable! You have so much on your hands with two classes and I was just trying to help you. Also, Janine gave me that lasagna because I forgot my lunch, I didn’t steal anything. You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain myself before jumping down my throat. Not to mention calling me degrading names in Italian!”

Barbara raises an eyebrow and gives Melissa a knowing glance. “Melissa uses gabbortz quite often, it’s nothing to get offended over,” she says, an attempt to reassure you.

Melissa’s eyes dart to Barbara’s as she huffs, “Uh, it’s gabbadost , Barb. And I mighta used somethin’ more… vulgar.” To your disbelief, the red head practically looks sheepish at this admission. Her arms cross in front of her as she shifts her weight, and your eyes are drawn to how the motion causes her cleavage to swell ever so slightly. Feeling heat flood your cheeks, you dart your eyes all over the room, attempting to find something else to fix them on. Luckily, neither woman seems to notice. Barbara’s eyebrows are furrowed in an inquisitive way that suggests she’s waiting for the shorter woman to elaborate. Melissa lets out a puff of air. “I mighta used the ‘P’ word, a’right?”

Barbara’s eyes widen as her mouth drops open in a gasp. “The ‘P’ word? Melissa Schemmenti, you don’t mean-”

“Yeah, yeah, the one I save exclusively for Kristin Marie. That ‘P’ word.” You don’t know who Kristin Marie is, but Barbara looks positively scandalized.

Tearing her eyes away from Melissa, Barbara stands and turns away from both of you, hands on her hips and head shaking in disapproval. As she takes her turn pacing across the room, the disappointed silence from the older woman allows the weight of the last week to settle on you, and you find yourself suddenly exhausted. You lean forward, your head in your hands and the shame rising inside of you like a tidal wave. How did you get here?

“Well, I think you both have been sufficiently horrible to each other,” Barbara says, turning toward you. “Now explain how this has all made you feel.”

You and Melissa groan in unison. “Come on, Barb,” Melissa starts, but Barbara holds up a single admonishing finger to silence her. The Italian woman becomes subdued immediately, and you notice how different Melissa’s reaction is to being silenced by Barbara.

“How has this made you feel?” the older woman presses, her tone of voice a warning to comply. Melissa leans against the wall, refusing to budge. You all sit in tense silence for what feels like an eternity, and you wish the floor would swallow you up. She was using the same tactics on you that you might use on two fighting eight year olds.

Eventually, you can’t handle the tension any longer and you burst out, “I feel totally disrespected!” You look to Barbara and she gestures for you to continue. “I uh… I feel belittled, and like you don’t take me seriously, but I think the worst part is I never got the chance to prove to you that I belong here… you wrote me off before you even met me. I’ve worked hard, and I love what I do, so to have you disregard me right off the bat, just because I made a mistake and I look young… it felt pretty shitty,” you admit, the confession coming out of you in one long rush.

“Especially because… I was excited to work with you,” you add quietly. You’re suddenly enamored with the floor, unable to bring yourself to look either woman in the eye. You feel exposed and vulnerable, and you’re majorly uncomfortable with it.

You’re forced to endure your feelings of discomfort for a few more torturous minutes. Suddenly, your eyes widen in shock as a husky voice meets your ears, and it takes a moment for your brain to process the words.

“I guess I feel a lot of the same,” Melissa admits. You raise your gaze to meet hers, and she’s staring at you intently, the earnestness reflected in her jewel-green eyes making your heart skip a beat. “Felt like you didn’t really care when you were late. Some a’ these kids? They got plenty of adults outside of these walls that don’t really care. That’s the last thing they need here. And then ya walked in and you look so young… I couldn't resist teasin' ya. But then you got me back and I got defensive, and I shouldnt’a.” She shifts her weight, casting her eyes to the floor. “I bought all those supplies with my own money,” she admits. “So seein’ you throwin’ em away, it really rubbed me the wrong way. But… you were right. I was tryin’ to stretch em when there was no more room to stretch. And then seein’ my lasagna on your desk… I know I can be a real hot head, and I took it out on ya and it wasn’t fair.”

As you look at Melissa, her red hair shining under the fluorescents and her evident unease at her own candor, there’s a swelling feeling in your chest and a warmth slowly spreading in your limbs. “Melissa,” you say, and her head snaps up to meet you. You search her eyes, waiting for her to snap at you for using her first name. She doesn’t. She simply waits, holding your gaze, and you can’t quite read what’s behind her eyes, but you suspect it’s something far softer than she’s shown you before.

You allow yourself to swim in those emerald pools for just a second longer before you admit, tenderly, “I’m sorry.” You see her shoulders drop ever so slightly, tension releasing as she allows your words to sink in. “I’m sorry for what I’ve said about your age. I’m sorry for throwing your things away without asking. And I’m really sorry about the Eagles tickets. That definitely wasn’t my finest moment.” You say the last bit with a touch of humor. You pause for a moment, before adding, “I’m not going to apologize for the lasagna, though. Janine insisted on giving it to me, and it was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever tasted.”

You see her eyes widen, her brows raising in surprise. A genuine satisfied smile graces her lips, and you can’t help but momentarily wish things had been different over the last week so you could have seen more of those. That smile made her entire demeanor change.

“Well,” she says, eyes flashing with her own humor. She shoots you a sly grin, and you return a small smile of your own. “If I’m bein’ real with ya, I’m impressed. Fake tickets? Pretty diabolical,” she continues, admiration in her voice. Her smile fades, though, and she brings her hand up, pressing a knuckle to her lips briefly in thought. She sighs, murmuring, “I’m sorry too. I shoulda given you a chance before jumpin’ to conclusions. And, uh… I’ll pay for ya to get your headlights fixed.” She mutters that last part, and you notice that she didn’t apologize for smashing them - but you know it’s as close as she’ll come, because you’re not sure she entirely regrets it. You’ll take what you can get.

“Thank you,” you murmur, and once again you suddenly can’t look at her anymore. Luckily, Barbara draws your focus to her as she clears her throat. You both look toward the older teacher as she stares down at you, a smug, triumphant smile dancing across her full lips.

“Now, was that so hard?” She asks, her voice teasing both of you. For the first time in days, you feel like you can breathe fully again. Melissa rolls her eyes, pulling herself away from the wall, but you detect a hint of relief radiating off of the woman as well.

“Don’t expect us to hold hands or nothin’ Barb,” she says as she heads for the door. When she reaches it, she pauses and turns to you. She considers you for a moment, and you begin to feel warm underneath her gaze. Finally, she says, “Well, ya comin’? We got lessons to plan for the day. How do ya feel about teaching Science?” Her tone is gruff, commanding, no nonsense. The carefully curated tough exterior of Melissa Schemmenti is back in place. But you’ve seen the slightest glimpse of the human being underneath.

“Right behind you,” you reply, and a tentative grin breaks out across your face as you stand and begin to follow the short woman. You pause briefly though, a thought entering your mind, and you turn to Barabra. Your hands grasp each other behind your back as you rock forward onto the balls of your feet, and you convey your gratitude by giving the older woman the warmest smile you can muster and uttering, “Thank you, Barbara.”

She returns your smile, her own radiant and warm, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve been blessed a bit. “My pleasure, dear. Go on, I’ll see you at lunch.” You nod in agreement, and turn on your heel, following after your lead teacher. You’re not friends - seeing as your time is limited at Abbott, you don’t imagine you ever will be. But you feel lighter, and there’s a newfound respect for the short woman. And for the first time since you stepped foot inside Abbott Elementary, you feel excited for the day before you.

-------

A/N:

Yes, I'm sorry, Gary will be briefly mentioned/perhaps even making small appearances. Stay strong lol. Controversial opinion but I don't hate Gary. Did I think he was good enough for Melissa? HELL NO. Do I think he should have respected her wishes and listened to her when she explained her boundaries? HELL YES. But ultimately he was just a big dumb guy who was infatuated with Melissa Schemmenti, and to that, I relate. Still, I wasn't mad about that split.

Fun fact - if you've watched season 3 episode 4 already, I wrote the Ava roster line before that episode aired. I died laughing when the kids were talking to Gregory about his roster. We don't need to talk about the firefighter exchange... denial is my favorite state.

#melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #Spotify

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aroaceconfessions · 11 months

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so you know how a lot of queer people grow up in a homophobic and purity obsessed environment? i feel like i almost had the opposite. i grew up in a relatively sex positive household with decent enough sex ed at school. abstinence was never pushed on me. i didn't grow up feeling like there was anything wrong with queerness... unless that queerness was aromanticism and asexuality. yes, i was lucky to grow up in an open minded household, but that doesn't mean i had a perfect childhood. no matter if you grew up in a conservative environment or an open minded one, if you're an aspec kid, you gonna get fucked up.

if you grew up conservative, it might seem like a virtue at first. you're one of the "good" kids because you're not interesting in dating, you're perfectly happy to "wait" because you don't understand what the rush is. until you become an adult and suddenly you're hounded with questions. why don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? who are you going to marry? when are you going to marry? when you get married you'll be able to have lots of sex, as a reward for waiting. what do you mean you don't actually want sex? that's unnatural. you need to reproduce. now it's no longer a good thing to be disinterested. there is something wrong with you.

if you grew up in an open minded environment, it's very isolating. from my experience at least, you're hyperaware that everyone else is experiencing these feelings that you don't, and everyone is saying how normal it is, all teenagers have these feelings. you're not interested in boys? it's okay to like girls. look how progressive we are. why do you still look lost? who do you have a crush on? when are you going to start dating? why can't you be a normal teenager? you'll understand when you're older. sex is a normal and expected part of being an adult. why do you look uncomfortable? when are you going to lose your virginity? virginity is shameful. it means you're ugly. what a loser.

so yeah. i guess i'm lucky to grow up in the household i did. i'm trans and so grateful my family is supportive. but they don't know about my aroaceness. it's the part of my identity that makes me feel the least safe. i feel like i have the opposite problem of an allo person who grew up conservative. i'm an aspec person who grew up in an environment where sex was seen as normal and healthy to the point that not being interested was seen as abnormal and unhealthy. no matter what, aspec kids are shamed. the best case scenario would be a gay kid growing up in the latter situation. there is no best case scenario for aspec kids. and there won't be until aromanticism and asexuality are given widespread awareness and acceptance.

Submitted May 13, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #transgender #trans #enby #nb #nonbinary #non-binary #non binary #acephobia #aphobia #arophobia #amatonormativity

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chloeangelic · 3 months

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I’ve spent the past week getting slandered in this community with not a shred of evidence, proof, or receipts of me being a mean girl, “Wish Regina George”, a bully, an asshole, someone who spends more time answering anons than I do writing, or any of the other things I’ve seen people say about me out of absolutely fucking nowhere, seemingly because people have grievances towards Gracie that I know nothing about. I appreciate everyone who has checked in on me and asked how I’m doing.

ETA: I have spoken to one of the people who posted statements and anons about me and we have squashed the beef. The statements made about me have been debunked and they have deleted their posts. Please leave me and my friends alone - I've gotten harassed directly and indirectly by anons and posts for two months and I'm tired. I'm not gonna prostrate myself and try to convince the internet that I'm a good person when I know I've done my best to always be kind and respectful in this community. My words will inevitably be twisted and I feel paralyzed. The damage to my reputation has already been done.

This is the only time I’ll address this, and my anons will not be turned back on because this is literally slander and a waste of everyone’s time. I’ve seen multiple vague posts about me as well and I’ve chosen to ignore it all, but it gets to a point where it feels like bullying and I’m done with it. When someone goes on tumblr live to rehash the same shallow shit talking post about me (i.e. talking shit about people they’re accusing of talking shit), that’s when I feel like my limit has been crossed, and since that same live devolved into an advertisement for the host’s own writing… This no longer reads like vigilante justice.

Let me get one thing straight: I am here to write about dick, cock and that old man. I am extremely grateful for the friends I’ve made along the way, and I am beyond appreciative for my readers who support me and who like what I come up with. I am 27 years old, I have a fulltime job, and this is one of my hobbies. If you think I’m going to spend my time in a fandom spamming group chats and being catty, I literally don’t know what to tell you. The few uncomfortable situations I’ve had on here have been addressed and squashed very quickly, whether that’s misunderstandings, accusations or anything else. In a creative space, you are bound to butt heads with people occasionally, or have people who dislike you, and that is fine. I know I have an aloof persona on here, I don’t expect everyone to like me.

I didn’t block anyone up until two days ago when this tumblr live host posted three anon asks in a row about me, and I decided to block the people who seemingly agreed with anons insisting I’m a mean girl, asshole etc. cause why the fuck wouldn’t I? Wouldn’t anyone? I don’t understand why on earth they’re so mad about me blocking them if they dislike me so much already. My shit is still on ao3 if they want to read it.

I don’t know what my mutuals do in their own DM’s, or group chats they’re in that I don’t participate in, because I stay in my lane and I spend my time writing. Of course I don’t condone bad behavior but how am I supposed to know what happens in GCs and servers I’m literally not in? Or conversations in servers where I’m not active? I have not witnessed any of my mutuals talking shit in any GCs, period. That’s all I can say. Additionally, this whole big/elite writers discord people were talking about a while ago - if that exists, I wasn’t even invited lmfao how’s that for being a big writer?

One anon said I was an asshole when they tried to have a conversation with me months back, and I assume this was my Rendezvous anon who I was snarky to cause they were snarky to me. I make it very clear that I have limited patience for anons, and when people in my comments respond back to them, they are responding to a statement that is separate from the person who sent it.

I am not entertaining this insanity any further than this. I will continue to post my old man porn and interact with my mutuals and reblog gif sets of that same old man cause that’s what I’m on here for. If you don’t like me, you are well within your rights, I assume you have your reasons, and that is ultimately none of my business. Everyone has the right to curate their own experience on a website like this.

Love,

Daddy

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justash02 · 11 months

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Womanizer~ 01

Plot; Everyone who knew who Tom Kaulitz was knew that he was girl crazy, he's very well known for having girls around him all the time.

Pairing; Tom Haulitz x Fem!Reader

Previous chapter -> Next chapter

Master list

Taglist<3

A/n; if you ever have a request you can always DM me!🖤

*^*^*

"Wow that was amazing Tom." The girl flirty said next to the boy, he didn't even know who this girl was, but as long as she could please him it's enough for him.

Tom likes to think he doesn't care about love, if he could stick his dick in a girl real quick he was happy. He didn't care about dates, cuddles, or anything really.

It was just more convenient this way, he didn't have any responsibility that comes with relationships but still got the in his opinion the best thing out of it.

He stays quiet as he starts to get dressed again, "You're not gonna clean me up?" She asked confused and slightly hurt at his way of being.

"I have practice babe." He spoke, he looked over to the blond girl and smirked. "Gotta go now." She just nodded, looking down at her thighs that were covered in the fluids of sex.

*^*^*

Y/n's POV.

"Must be love on the brain~ that's got me feeling this way. It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good and I can't get enough~ must be love on the, brain~"

The studio went silent for a second before clapping filled the other room, my eyes shot over to my band and manager.

"That might have been our best take yet! You did great Y/n/n!" Clair said running over to me. She quickly threw her arms around my neck hugging me.

I laughed hugging the girl back, "Couldn't be done without your beautiful song writing Clair." I said rubbing her back. The blue haired girl slightly pulled away but kept her arm around my shoulder keeping me in a side hug.

A hand appeared above me petting my head, "Great job." Adam said, his black curls hung in front of his eyes as he gave me a side smile. I nodded feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Where's Ben?" I asked looking at Clair, "He went to grab some food, we're ordering Y/F/F." I smiled big before nodding. "This albums gonna be amazing!"

*^*^*

And Clair was right, our album ANTI went viral all over Germany and across the world.

Suddenly our 50 fans became thousands, it was scary at first. We got hate at first, but that soon was overshadowed by the amount of love and support we got from fans.

Everywhere where we went people seemed to know who "XO" it was, strange, At first, being famous I mean.

We couldn't go out and eat without being asked for pics, we couldn't shop anymore without being recorded by paparazzi.

It was exhausting but also amazing! We got to see the world differently.

*^*^*

"Please welcome, XO!" The interviewer announced. Clair put her hand on my back, her black painted nails gently scratching my back to calm me down. I took a deep breath before we started walking to the couch as a group.

We all sat down, I sat next to Ben and Adam. "It's so nice to have you guys here." She began. "It's very nice to be here thank you." Adam said.

Ria, the interviewer, smiled at Adam before grabbing the cards that were next to her on the small wooden table, I looked over at Clair, her short hair suited her so good and you could really tell she was getting more confident.

Ben on the other hand was kinda of trembling under the pressure, he has told us before that if he didn't have us that he would've quit already. His dirty blond hair was long and shined in the lights from the stage we were sitting on.

Adam was the best group leader you could have, I'm glad we all decided that he should pull us through it. Without him we wouldn't have been here now. He's confident as well but in a good way, he knows what to say to us to get us to give it our fullest and I'm so incredibly grateful for that.

"So," Ria's voice ran through the mic, "Many fans want to know about you guys band name, why XO?" She asked looking at us.

Adam looked over at Clair giving her the word, "X stands for the men in the group and O for the women, it shows that being different and having different looks on things shouldn't be a bad thing." She said smiling, her dimples coming through so firmly.

Ria smiled and nodded, she flipped over to the next card and read over it quickly, "Y/n, we understand that you're the voice of XO, is there someone who you look up to that has inspired you to sing?" She asked.

I sat up a bit and nodded, a smile forming on my face, "I think that should be Tokio Hotel's Bill Kaulitz." I said, "He's my latest inspiration."

"So there's maybe room for a collab?" She said smirking.

"Well, I definitely hope so."

#x reader #imagines #tom haulitz #Tom haulitz x reader

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loving-mista · 1 year

Text

Tokyo revengers relationship headcannons

An: these are all my personal fav characters, but if you want any specific characters I'm all ears just ask or message me!

Kisaki

This man practically worships you, everything you do is beautiful to him. He adores you and would do absolutely anything for you.

No matter how drastic it is, if you told him to do something he'd do it no question, even if it is against what he considers moral it doesn't matter to him

He's an addict for you, your love, and your touch. He loves it all

He never forgets to tell you how much he loves you, from random kisses to full-on letters from him

He has his own vision of a perfect future, and it's with you; your kindness, your beautiful face, and personality have all the aspects he wants in his future. And he can't imagine It without you

Kisaki is completely head over heels and lovesick for you.

Mitsuya

Mitsuya remembers every little thing about you, if you mention you like something to him once he buys it every time he sees it

he also quickly notices subtle changes you make; new perfume, a hair trim, or even a different lip gloss. he realizes it all

he absolutely adores you, there is no doubt about it he tells everyone about you and he's so happy while doing so

he went to Emma for advice on how to ask you out, he was way too shy and nervous

if you patch him up after a fight, he might fall in love again.

he also loves to draw you and he gives these drawings to you with your favorite flower and a short poem or love letter.

most of his art or fashion designs are based on you

you both have a notebook where you both write or draw for each other too

Hanma

Hanma is hopelessly devoted to you, he may be strict and pretty possessive but he also has undying love and loyalty for you

he will do anything and everything in his power to keep you by his side and happy

he isn't all that good at communicating but if you want to speak to him about something you don't like in the relationship, hed listen don't expect him to say anything. once you are done he will just leave, however, you do notice that he did change whatever it was you didn't like as soon as he could.

to him, actions speak louder than words

despite him being so different from you he finds a way to make this relationship works.

he's so proud and supportive of you as well, anything you do he absolutely adores it

if you are an artist he will display your art in his office making it practically a little art show

kazutora

kazutora spent most of his childhood in a cell, so the chances that you are his first girlfriend are very high.

he loves you he really does, but he doesn't know how to show it

he tries he really does, he absolutely adores you but he doesn't know how to say or put it into words

if you are patient with him and talk to him, he is so grateful that you do, he'd ask if he's doing anything wrong and change it

however, if you don't, you will quickly realize that he has other priorities before you

he asks takemichy or hina for advice, (hina was more helpful)

with the advice he got he slowly but surely became a better boyfriend

he thanks you for being so patient and kind to him. its that quality that made him fall in love with you in the first place

chifuyu

the kinda boyfriend who wants to match with literally everything

he is so head over heels for you it is actually quite adorable

he never fails to make you feel loved and appreciated

if you are around he probably follows you around like a lost puppy, he loves your attention

if he hasn't seen you in days when he does expect a nearly bone-crushing hug followed by rambles of how much he misses you

if you both began dating in his teen years, he probably confessed to you using a romance manga he would highlight every I love you or confession in the volume and wrote you a confession at the end of it

despite all this he is still very protective of you and will do anything even if it meant him losing his own life for your safety

#tokyo revengers x gn!reader #tokyo rev x reader #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu scenarios #tr kisaki #kisaki x you #mitsuya x reader #tokrev mitsuya #tr hanma #tokyo revengers hanma #hanma x reader #kazutora scenarios #kazutora x reader #kazutora hanemiya #tokyo rev x y/n

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helloalycia · 4 months

Text

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: as you struggle to accept Lucy Gray's absence, Mayfair continues to push your buttons, landing you in hot water with your parents.

warning/s: mentions of the Hunger Games (duh) and mild violence.

author's note: here is the final part! also happy new year everyone, forgot to say it! hope you like this one :)

one / two / masterlist / wattpad

It was difficult to keep up with the Games as they went on during the week. I'd never had need to before, but this year was different for obvious reasons.

The electricity in District 12 was shit enough as is, but even worse so was the signal on the TV when it did occasionally work. I caught the Games and interviews a few times, but not for very long and never did I actually see Lucy Gray, only some of the other tributes or very dark scenes of the arena. She could have died already for all I knew, but deep in my heart, I just couldn't believe that.

I tried to be there for the Covey as much as I could, checking in on them at least once a day throughout the week, and they did the same for me, the lot of us forming a sort of support group. And I also had Y/BF/N to keep me sane throughout it all, but the only people who didn't understand my change in attitude were my parents. I couldn't blame them of course, considering they didn't know what Lucy Gray was to me, but it was still hard.

One evening at dinner time, my appetite wasn't very big. It hadn't been since Lucy Gray had left, but it was beginning to be ruined entirely when my dad started talking about the Games as a pastime.

"...keep getting a bunch of comms from the Capitol about how popular it is this year," he was saying, a mere comment but one that upset me because all I could think about was Lucy Gray. "Apparently Lucy Gray is a popular contender. The Capitol love her singing."

My fork dropped from my hand as a frown curled on my lips. How dare the Capitol love her, only to send her to her death for their entertainment.

"What's wrong?" my dad asked, but my mum shook her head at him. Not seeming to get the hint, he said, "What? She's been off all night. I'm just asking."

She shook her head again, making him sigh with offence, and I couldn't take sitting here for much longer.

"Can I please be excused?" I asked without looking at either of them.

"Of course, honey," my mum said sympathetically, and I was grateful that she seemed emotionally aware enough to notice something was up.

Leaving the dining room immediately, I headed straight for my bedroom and got straight into bed, needing the comfort and warmth of my duvet. It was lame to imagine it was Lucy Gray here with me, I knew it, but I did it anyway.

I should have said it back. Why didn't I say it back? I knew I loved her, I had loved her for a while now. How couldn't I? But I didn't say it and I fucking should have. God, I was a fool.

About twenty minutes later, a knock on my door pulled me from my disassociation, and when I didn't answer, my dad stuck his head through the door. Once he spotted me, he let himself in a took a seat at the edge of my bed, a guilty expression on his face.

"I'm sorry," he said, which surprised me. "I've been so busy at work that I haven't realised how hard it must be seeing one of your schoolmates in the Games."

That wasn't it at all, but I shrugged anyway.

"She was a friend," he noticed. "Wasn't she?"

I couldn't answer, not without my heart breaking at the truth of who she was to me.

He sighed gently. "She was bad news, Y/N."

I clenched my jaw at his biased opinion. "Forget it–"

"Wait," he cut me off. "Let me finish."

I looked up at him, glaring, but he didn't let it faze him.

"She's bad news, but she was still a good girl. And I'm sorry for what she's going through," he said, in his strange way of trying to understand.

It was the best I would get from him, especially since he didn't know the truth, so I accepted it. "Thank you."

He leaned down to hug me, and like the little girl I was, I let my daddy comfort me like he used to.

"Me and your mother are worried about you," he said once he pulled back. "Please eat more."

I nodded reluctantly. The last thing I wanted to do was worry them. He seemed to accept my answer, as he relaxed a little then left me to get some sleep.

Once again, it was a difficult night.

She could still be alive, that was what I kept telling myself. The Games hadn't ended, not that I knew of, and though I didn't truly know if she had died in the few days it had been going on, I kept telling myself the opposite. She could still be hiding from everyone, or somehow got lucky and taken out her opponents. I wasn't sure, but thinking anything else was breaking me.

I was at the markets with Y/BF/N, helping her pick up some bits for her parents and trying to keep myself busy so I wouldn't be thinking of Lucy Gray, when none other than Mayfair decided to piss me off.

"Well, if it isn't Y/L/N," she said with amusement, Billy Taupe at her side. "Haven't seen you around much. Not since your little songbird left."

I rolled my eyes and ignored her taunting, not in the mood to put up with her. Y/BF/N ignored her too, the two of us looking at some shirts for her mum, but Mayfair wasn't getting the hint.

"You're lookin' a little rough," she continued. "Not doin' so hot without her?"

"You okay?" Y/BF/N said quietly for me to hear, and I nodded.

"She won't be doin' much singing in the arena, I suppose," Mayfair added. "Other priorities and such."

"Will you shut up?" I snapped at her, knowing she wasn't going to leave if I didn't speak.

"Or what?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, as if daring me.

I clenched my jaw, glaring at her, but Y/BF/N squeezed my arm gently.

"Forget her," she reminded me, and I would have listened, but Mayfair didn't know when to shut up, and I just couldn't take her attitude anymore.

"It's where she belongs," she said, my final straw. "She's not so charmin' when she's dead–"

I smacked her hard across the face, making a few passers-by stop to witness the commotion, and Billy Taupe and Y/BF/N gasped with surprise. It felt good, I wouldn't lie, especially when I saw the redness on Mayfair's cheek.

Mayfair glared fiercely before lungeing at me, sending me backwards into the vegetable stand. The breath was knocked out of me, and then she yanked on my hair harshly, making me scream at the suddenness of it all. I shoved her backwards and she grabbed my jacket in the process, forcing me to get out of it before she could have me in her clutches. Furious, I lunged for her with every intention to punch that smug smile right off her face, but someone blocked my way and held me at bay.

It was a peacekeeper, and they were doing the same with her, and I wouldn't have doubted she was my mirror at the moment – angry and red-faced.

That was how I found myself sat in my dad's office for the second time in my life, though this time Mayfair was seated beside me, and her father was here too.

"...and it doesn't make sense why you were both fighting!" my father was saying with confusion. "You're both friends, aren't you?"

I scoffed at that, crossing my arms defensively. The mayor shook his head with disapproval, before looking to his daughter.

"Are you gonna tell me why you fought?" he asked her, opting for a gentler approach.

The two of them had been trying to get to the bottom of our fight for ten minutes now, but neither Mayfair and I were willing to talk.

"Why don't you tell them why you got bitch slapped?" I finally spoke, looking to Mayfair with a sneer.

"Y/N!" my dad scolded, but Mayfair spoke up a second afterwards, meeting my glare.

"Why don't you tell your dad why you're so upset about the chosen District 12 girl tribute this year?"

I pressed my lips together to contain every insult that was threatening to be said, instead settling on burning holes into Mayfair's face. Neither of us spoke, knowing we couldn't admit to anything, even if we wanted to get each other into trouble.

Everybody knew Mayfair had something to do with Lucy Gray's reaping, but there was no physical proof, and her admitting why she was fighting with me in the first place would be all the evidence my dad needed to intervene. Similarly, my dad could never find out exactly what Lucy Gray meant to me and why I was so defensive against Mayfair. So, we were at a stalemate.

"Fine," the mayor decided, sounding tired. "We'll agree to disagree, but this behaviour is not tolerated."

"You'll avoid each other if you have to, but I don't want to see this happen again," my dad ordered.

I rolled my eyes as Mayfair scoffed under her breath. We were soon dismissed, escorted home separately, and though my mum tried to get the truth out of me, I was unwilling to share it. I was just surprised I hadn't received a punishment from my dad, especially when he came home later that evening. For whatever reason, he let it slide.

I'd just have to avoid Mayfair, it seemed. Easier said than done, but it was better than ripping her head off out of pure anger. I'd never hated someone so much in my life, but fighting her wouldn't bring me back Lucy Gray, no matter how much I wanted it to.

It was a few days later when I was bringing some tea into my dad's study, per my mum's request, when I saw him ending a phone call with a surprised look on his face. I set the tea down on his desk before glancing at him with concern.

"You okay?" I asked. "Who was that?"

He blinked, as if still digesting whatever he'd heard. "It was the Capitol. Apparently I'm to escort home the winner of the Hunger Games."

I furrowed my eyebrows, unsure if I'd heard correctly. "What? You're what?"

"That songbird, your schoolmate, Lucy Gray Baird," he clarified. "She won."

My breathing hitched as I widened my eyes. Lucy Gray had won? She'd won the Hunger Games? She was alive?

"Lucy Gray– she's coming home?" I asked, feeling the rate of my heart increasing with every piece of information discovered. "When?"

"Tomorrow morning," my dad answered, taking the cup of tea.

Tomorrow. She was coming home tomorrow!

"The Covey," I got out, struggling to contain my excitement, bewilderment and surprise all at once, "do they know?"

My dad quirked a brow at my reaction. "I'll be sure to let them know. I'm sure they'll want to be there at the station when she arrives."

Oh, they were going to be so happy to have Lucy Gray back! How I wished I could see their reaction when my dad told them. And tomorrow morning – I could be there too, when they greeted her at the station! I could finally see her and touch her and hold her and–

"You know you won't be there, right?" my dad burst my bubble in seconds. "I know I said she was a good girl, but this changes things, Y/N. She's dangerous. Who knows what she did to win the Games? How many kids do you think she killed in there?"

"As many as she needed to," I said sternly. "It was the Games. That's how you play them."

He shook his head, disagreeing. "I want you nowhere near her or them. You hear me?"

"I go to school with them," I reminded him through gritted teeth.

"You know what I mean."

I swallowed thickly, in disbelief that he would create a villain of her for something she was forced to do. But what was I to expect from a man who never trusted the Covey in the first place? Sure, they were good for a party, but to have them in your circle was a different story. I hated that he thought that.

No, there was no way he was going to stop me from seeing her. Not after she finally made it out alive.

My dad wasn't joking when he said he didn't want me at the station to greet Lucy Gray. As if he expected me to disobey him, he left some peacekeepers to guard the area, only letting the Covey there to pick her up.

I had no choice but to wait not far out from the station, out of sight from the peacekeepers but directly on the only route back to their house in the Seam, so they'd have to pass me to get home. The Covey knew of my plan, so I found myself waiting there eagerly for Lucy Gray's arrival.

No matter how hard I tried to plan what I would do and say once I saw her, nothing seemed right. I decided to just let it be and do what felt right in the moment, but just the thought of seeing her again after a whole week and a half which felt like much longer left me nervous.

I checked my watch. 10am. Her train should have been pulling in now. I made sure I looked somewhat presentable before waiting another ten minutes, and then I heard footsteps. I turned around and saw the Covey, all chatting away with Lucy Gray in the middle.

She looked stunning, a little underweight, but with that same positive glow that only she could possess with a single smile. Already, tears were forming in my eyes because I was finally seeing her again in person, it wasn't my dreams.

Her eyes soon found mine and she slowed down, smile fading once she realised it was me. I wet my lips, straightening up subconsciously, and approached her.

"We'll give you a minute," Barb Azure said, squeezing my shoulder with a relieved smile, before leading the others away.

I glanced at them, before returning my attention to Lucy Gray, who was single-handedly warming my heart. She was back. She was alive. I hadn't missed my chance.

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her tightly, eyes closing as tears dropped down my cheeks. "I love you too," I muttered into her shoulder. "So much."

I felt her arms wrapping around me too, and then she began to laugh quietly, sending shivers all over my skin. I didn't let go, not for a whole minute, and neither did she. Never again did I think I'd be able to hold her so close, let alone tell her I loved her too.

"You did it," I said, pulling back slightly, and I realised she was crying too.

She nodded in response, and I lifted my hand to cup her cheek, thumb wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry I couldn't see you at the station," I said quickly. "My dad said no and he had guards there so I couldn't–"

She cut me off with a kiss, brief but delicate, making the fireworks in my chest explode at the contact.

"I missed you so goddamn much," she said once she pulled away, resting her forehead on mine.

"I missed you too," was all I could say, and even then it didn't feel like enough.

The way I missed her was indescribable. A part of me had been missing this whole time, and now that she was back, I felt whole again. I couldn't lose her again, I just couldn't.

Losing Lucy Gray and being lucky enough to get her back only made me realise one thing: life was too short to hide what meant the most to you. And though Lucy Gray was adamant on not causing trouble between my family and I, happy to be my secret, I just couldn't take it any longer.

Sneaking around and lying to my parents wasn't worth it, and Lucy Gray deserved so much better than that, especially after all she'd faced. So, I finally had the guts to tell my parents the truth.

About a week after the Games ended, I found my parents sat in the living room, the one day off my dad had which meant they were both present.

"Mum, dad, I need to tell you something important," I said when I found the courage.

My mum, who was reading a book, looked up at me, sensing my nerves. "Honey, you okay?"

I nodded, then stood in front of the couch before them. My dad lowered his newspaper and quirked a brow, both confused and intrigued by my entry.

"I just need you to listen before you reply," I said carefully. "Please, don't be angry."

"Well, now you're worrying us," my dad said, straightening up in his seat. "You in trouble?"

I shook my head, before taking a deep breath. "So, you know Lucy Gray, the girl who–"

"Won the Hunger Games, yes we know," my dad finished for me.

"Your school friend, right?" my mum asked.

I nodded. "Yes, she's... she's much more than that though." At this, my dad raised both his eyebrows, so I quickly added, "I know you wanted me to stay away from her and her family, but they aren't bad people. They're just a little different. They only have each other."

"That's not an excuse for the things they get up to," my dad retorted, but my mum nudged him and shot him a look that told him to pipe down.

"Thanks," I said to her gratefully, before continuing, "So, yeah, Lucy Gray. Well, the thing is..." Now or never. "I'm in love with her. And she's in love with me. And I don't want you to hate me or be disappointed, because I can't help who I'm in love with."

My dad wore a blank expression, as my mum was surprised and tried to digest my words. I stayed quiet for a moment, giving them chance to process and also calm my racing heart.

"Being in love with her doesn't change a thing," I explained, unable to stay quiet for too long. "I'm still doing well in school, still on track for the job at the Justice Building, but I love her. And I want to be with her without having to hide it from you both. She's more than a friend, always has been."

My palms were growing increasingly sweaty as neither of them said anything, and I soon wondered if I'd spoken at all because of their silence. But then my dad stood up and glared at me, and I knew it was real.

"Are you crazy, Y/N?! Lucy Gray?! You're in love with the Covey girl?!" he yelled. "What the hell are you thinking?!"

"Y/D/N, calm down–" my mum said, standing up too.

"Calm down?! She's throwing her future away for nothing!" he shouted, before shaking her hands off and leaving the room suddenly.

As the echo of the door slamming filled the silence, I hugged myself uncomfortably and waited for round two with my mum.

"Give him time," she said softly, surprising me. I looked up, and she rested a hand on my shoulder. "I'm proud of you for telling us the truth. Couldn't have been easy with your father's attitude."

I blinked, sighing with relief. She wasn't angry.

"Lucy Gray seems lovely," she added with a warm smile. "It's a shame that she was picked for the Games, but her positivity hasn't faltered, that much is clear. She's strong."

"She is," I agreed, still in disbelief that my mum wasn't upset with me.

She pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me gently. "I should've known it was something more when you were acting all weird when she was gone. I'm sorry that you couldn't trust me."

"It's not you," I assured her, pulling apart. "I just wasn't sure how to say it, knowing how dad feels about them."

"Oh, I'll sort him out," she said dismissively. "Now come here. I wasn't finished with the hug."

I laughed, letting her pull me in for an even tighter embrace.

"You gonna tell me what the surprise is or are you just gonna keep dragging me behind you?"

Lucy Gray scoffed dramatically at my words, not stopping as she dragged me by the hand, leading me to the meadow. "It wouldn't be a surprise if I just told you, would it, darlin'?"

I tried not to laugh at how easily frustrated she could get with my impatience. Ever since I'd told my parents the truth about us, of which my dad eventually came around to the idea thanks to my mum, I no longer had to sneak around with Lucy Gray. And today, she'd quite literally dragged me all the way from my house and out here to the meadow for a 'surprise'.

After much playful protesting from me and groaning from Lucy Gray, we finally reached her favourite spot at the top of the meadow. A giant tree sat on the brow of the hill that overlooked the whole field, with another log beneath it that Lucy Gray loved to visit to write songs or be alone. Already waiting for us was her guitar, propped up against the log.

"Am I about to be serenaded again?" I teased, making her roll her eyes playfully.

"Shut up and sit down," she ordered lightheartedly, and I laughed as I did just that.

She grabbed her guitar before sitting next to me, facing me slightly. Really, I'd been eager to hear her sing for me since she did last time (which now felt like so long ago). Since she'd been back from the Games, she'd returned to performing in the Hob as usual, of which I'd watched with adoration. But this was different, less of a performance and much more intimate than being on a stage could allow.

"So, I don't know if you remember that song I was writin' for you before... y'know," she began in an uncharacteristically shy voice, "but I finally finished it."

"Lucy Gray, of course I remember," I told her with a small smile. "It's the best thing anyone's ever done for me."

She began to smile too, nodding. "Right. Well, like I said, I managed to finish it. And I'd like to sing it for you, if you'll let me."

I nodded encouragingly, getting comfortable on the log and admiring her as she also got ready. Licking her lips, she began to strum her guitar, starting off quiet before settling on a rhythm that was dreamy and delicate and soothing.

"Love songs are fleeting,

but the melodies stick with you.

I have learned your heart,

and memorised the tune.

It's my favourite,

I'll sing it in any occasion.

It'll be my soundtrack,

beyond our youth."

Just like she did the last time, her voice was soft but strong, quiet but powerful, and her eyes were closed as she felt the meaning of every word. Even after hearing it a second time, I was hanging onto her every word, eager to hear the rest.

"Honey now we're older,

but we'll never age.

I don't think my love will

ever start to fade.

My attachment to you

isn't subject to change.

My heart’s yours forever

and always."

She gave me a comforting smile that sent a warmth all over my body as she finished the chorus, and I didn't know what to do. Her words were beautiful, and I felt too lucky to have someone who felt that way about me.

"Every note you hum,

is a classic through and through.

I'll add them to a list called

'All Things I Look Forward To'.

It's my favourite,

even if no one will play it.

I only want a future

filled with you."

Again, even after hearing it a second time, I was in awe. Tears of happiness pooled in my eyes as she moved onto the chorus again, her voice smooth and stunning, lulling me into her trance. She hummed as she played, building up to the bridge, and I never wanted her to stop.

"I'll sing it it still in 10 years time

20, 30, 99.

I'll dance as long as I can stand,

partner for life take my hand.

We'll set the record for strongest love,

keep the vinyl free of dust.

Spin it soft eternally

and my dear you'll sing with me."

I wiped at my tears, embarrassed and simultaneously unbothered because nobody had ever made me feel this way before. She saw a future with me? She'd looked that far ahead and saw me by her side?

"Honey now we're older,

but we'll never age.

I don't think my love will

ever start to fade.

My attachment to you

isn't subject to change.

My heart's yours forever

and always."

She kept playing, notes as delicate as they were at the start, and hummed along until she faded the whole thing out, and then we were sat in silence as her words carried into the meadow.

"So, what do you think?" she asked, her shy smile returning as she set the guitar down.

"What do I think...," I repeated quietly, still reeling from her song. "I think that I didn't expect you to beat what you sang last time. That, surely, you couldn't improve it. But you proved me wrong and did just that."

She let out a chuckle, rolling her eyes to distract from the pink dusting her cheeks.

"Lucy Gray, I think you just made me fall even more in love with you, which is a feat considering I'm already in way too deep," I said lightheartedly, but I meant every word.

She wasn't sure what to say, and I couldn't think of anything more to add that would show her how she'd made me feel. So, I leaned forward and I kissed her. Resting my hand on the back of her neck, I pulled her close, pressing my lips to hers and sighing contently when she fell right into it.

I could have kissed her all day, but air became a problem and I remembered what I wanted to say to her.

"The song," I breathed out, meeting her honey-golden eyes. "What you said? It's the same for me too. Forever and always. I feel the same way. It's beautiful, Lucy Gray."

As if that was what she'd wanted to hear, her shoulders relaxed and she smiled beautifully. "I'm so glad you like it, Y/N."

I mirrored her smile before leaning again, this time taking it slower and appreciating the feeling of her so close to me. It was a feeling I was certain I could never forget.

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