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fire-fira · 3 months

Note

I am not sure how much you are into analysis but I want to ask. Do you think raph isn’t as good of a fighter compared to his brothers? because I have a feeling either he’s holding back when sparring with them over fear of harming them or he’s not as good as them.

Anon, you just made my day because this gives me an excuse to nerd out at length. (Though apologies that it took me so long to get this fully written out and posted.)

Disclaimer before I launch into it in full: to fairly compare Raph to his brothers I'm going to do a brief run-down of the three of them before breaking into the full details on him. A lot of this is built on extrapolation from details in various canons and at times might edge toward headcanon territory, though I'll be trying to stick with what's actually present.

With that out of the way--

Comparing Raph to His Brothers

So to start with, I can only fairly do this deep-dive by briefly touching on each of his brothers before getting to Raph himself. I'll say upfront that I think it's less a question of which one is the "best fighter" and more that they're each different types of fighters, each with their own strengths and weaknesses and which might land any of them in the position of "the best" depending on the circumstances.

Leo

Strengths: This is an extrapolation based on various iterations (2003, 2007, 2012, 2014/2016, ROTTMNT, 2023, Batman vs. TMNT, and a little bit of the IDW comics), but Leo strikes me as a tactician-- as the guy who can extrapolate to fifteen different possibilities for the outcome of a fight and fifteen steps ahead of everyone else on each of those possibilities. At his best he knows how to play to his brothers' strengths, put them where needed, and let them go to do their own thing. He's also persistent and willing to put himself through his paces over and over again until he 'perfects' what he wants to learn how to do. As a "traditional" (romanticized) example of a warrior, he is the golden boy of the family. Rise Leo might be a little less likely to get every step 'just so,' but most iterations of him aim to be as flawless as possible in terms of his combat skills. In his ideal world, he will never have a misplaced swing of a sword or inflict any damage he doesn't intend to. That depth of knowledge and highly-trained skill can be damned terrifying for his enemies if it's taken to its fullest extreme.

Weaknesses: His perfectionism and desire to get things 'just right' is a double-edged sword. In the 2003 series it got wrapped up in his PTSD and the need to never make a critical mistake again (which... didn't work out well for him-- hi, shades of Raph at his worst); in the 2007 movie it led him to think his efforts to learn how to be a better leader weren't "good enough" and kept him away from home for two years; in the 2012 series it led him to ignore critical injuries and try to bully himself into being 'better' (when realistically what he did during the farmhouse arc probably would have permanently destroyed one of his knees); in the 2014/2016 movies it led him to temporarily damage his relationship with his brothers by spilling over the worst of his internal perfectionistic vitriol onto them; and in Rise it at times has turned him into a showoff who'll act without letting the others in on his plan (which can backfire horrendously in a worst-case scenario) because if he does it without telling others what he's going to do, then he gets bragging rights if it works out like he planned. Underlying all this is what could turn into an unmanageable case of anxiety depending on the version of Leo and how personally stable he is, as well as how susceptible he is to ruminating over where he feels he went wrong. To say nothing of how many versions of Leo have a GIANT self-sacrificing streak when it comes to their families. Under the right circumstances-- and if someone really intended to make it hurt-- they could easily play all that against Leo and get him to freeze due to overthinking. (Though getting him to that level would take an extreme case and some severe emotional damage to weaponize his guilt.)

Speed: OKAY. Here's where things get a little more cut-and-dried in my opinion-- if a fight is down to just speed anyway. Leo might be pretty neck-in-neck with Raph in terms of speed, maybe just a touch faster due to (generally) being more lean-built than Raph. Leo's not a tank; yes he can fight in close quarters or mid-range and hold his own, but if he can then he tends to be 'slippery' about it. He's not going to batter away at an enemy if he can spin out of range before darting back in and dodging whatever hits he can. If it's just a matter of speed without any other factors involved, then there's a good chance Leo will win in a fight against Raph. If it's a question of strength and endurance though... Well, I'll expand further on that when I get to Raph.

Adaptability: This is something that is absolutely dependent on which version of Leo we're talking about and how hung up that version is on his plans without taking the general chaos of life into account. 2012 and 2014/2016 Leo both are guilty of getting so hung up on the idea that their approach to a combat situation is the right way that they fail to plan for the fact that their brothers' ways of doing things isn't their way of doing things. Which blows up in their faces spectacularly sometimes. IF it's a version of Leo who's more likely to fail to take into account his brothers' differing styles, then Raph might easily play that against him and deliberately do things Leo would find unpredictable (though probably not as much as Mikey, lbr). For versions of him that are better about knowing that his own approach isn't the only/'best' approach, then Leo would be better able to roll with whatever Raph throws his way, within reason.

Combat Style/Approach: Mid-to-close-range, tactician, and definitely NOT a grappler. Yes, his skills and training have him moving with muscle memory when he needs to, but even so, there's a split-second awareness of what his opponent(s) could do and instinctively reacting based on what he's met with. A lot of that means he has to be free to move and avoid getting held in place, or things might go bad quickly.

Donnie

Strengths: No matter which iteration of Donnie you're talking about, you're generally talking about an engineer who's able and willing to casually heft up and carry around a car engine with his bare hands. And considering (with a quick google search) it looks like the average car engine weighs anywhere between 300 to 700 pounds, that alone is proof enough that no one in their right mind would ever want to be punched by Donnie. And considering there are instances where he's able to temporarily support the weight of himself and his brothers (a couple of scenes in the 2003 series are what immediately come to my mind, but that's just my favorite iteration showing itself) it's proof that he has that strength not just in his arms. To give you an idea of just how much weight that implies he can lift, here's a size and weight comparison of some of the largest turtle species currently living.*

Notice anything? Like how... Oh... I dunno... a 4-foot-long Loggerhead sea turtle can weigh up to 400 pounds? Or a 3-foot-long Leatherback sea turtle can weigh 550 pounds on the light end? (Note: this is not meant to be snarky or condescending, just a simple statement of fact that all signs point to these boys are fucking HEAVY.) And that huge amount of weight relative to their body size seems to be pretty consistent among turtle species from what I've seen with my digging around. Which logically implies that the same holds true for these boys, and if we play fast-and-loose with the idea that we can roughly translate length to height... well... For general weight of the boys, I tend to assume at least 200 pounds, at least for those under and up to about 5-foot-tall. For the 2014/2016 set I might even suggest somewhere between 400-500 pounds-- but roughly comparing weight to size with that table of large turtle species, I'm probably severely underestimating their weight all across the board. Being generous, hypothetically saying all four of the 2003 turtles are about 240, that then means there are moments in the 2003 series where Donnie is temporarily lifting around 960 pounds, including himself. AND THAT MIGHT BE A SEVERE UNDERESTIMATION. Terrifying, right? So yes, Donnie is unquestionably strong as hell and maintains that strength by working on his various projects, and a full-force hit from him would land someone in a hospital-- if they're lucky. The other main thing working for him is that he's a tech genius. No, he's typically not as rigid or disciplined in his training as Leo is, but if he has access to tech and distance then he has a whole host of weapons and traps he can bring to the party (something which Rise Donnie excels at in spades). Raph's a much more physical direct-confrontation fighter, but Donnie has the capacity to turn entire environments against his enemies, depending on the means he has at his disposal.

Weaknesses: For better or worse, Donnie's primary personal strength-- the one he leans on above all else-- is his intellect and being able to puzzle things out. And again, he's an engineer: yes he can lift and move that terrifying amount of weight, but he's usually not doing it at speed. (Because let's be real, moving heavy and potentially very breakable machinery is not something you want to do quickly when you want to be able to use or repurpose said machinery.) He's not a slouch when it comes to his ninjutsu training, but there's a reason why the concept of Donnie pulling the 'I'm too busy to train right now' is a widespread fandom concept. It doesn't necessarily mean that he's not 'as good of a ninja', but more that he's not a 'traditional' ninja and has had to adapt things to his preferred methods. Yes he has a lot of physical strength, but he prefers to keep a distance from his opponent(s) if possible. Doing so, having that distance, gives him more time to plan and respond-- because unlike Leo, a lot of iterations of Donnie don't have that ingrained ability to read the possible actions their opponent(s) might take and respond on a dime (or at least not to the same level). Raph's tendency to brute force things-- something which Donnie technically could do but clearly does not like to-- might be somewhat unpredictable for him, especially because that puts Raph in close and doesn't give Donnie as much time to respond as he would like. All that said, Donnie could technically win a fight against Raph without his tech if he pretty much said to hell with fighting and decided to do an imitation of an octopus. At the very least he could probably hold him in one place if he was quick enough and managed to get Raph's arms pinned. And somehow kept him from walking. (It wouldn't be a dignified win, but it might still technically be a win.)

Speed: I'm gonna be honest, I do not think speed is on Donnie's side in comparison to his brothers. If he really makes an effort (rather than just going his own route and pursuing his interests) he'd probably be able to keep up with the others going at full tilt for a little while, but he'd probably tire out first. A lot of the work he does due to his areas of expertise is fairly sedentary, and frequently he needs to move with slow and deliberate precision. There's a lot of fine muscle control involved in that kind of work (especially if it involves maneuvering something heavy), but being able to consistently do that doesn't automatically translate to being able to do something similar at high speed. But that's okay, because if he has the distance and varied means of attack he needs, then he doesn't have to worry about keeping up with his brothers for an extended period of time-- it just has to be long enough.

Adaptability: If it involves tech or computer systems, Donnie's ability to adapt to a situation is unparalleled. Give him unrestrained access to an unfamiliar and shiny (and incredibly pervasive) system and he'll be able to make it seem like a tech apocalypse is targeting one specific person if he wants to. If it's a head-to-head physical fight though, it really depends on how desperate he is or how much breathing room he has (or both). If he's frazzled and panicky then there's the possibility he'll miss several opportunities or potential tools and, in a worst-case scenario, he might freeze. (An extreme example of this is how Rise Donnie gave up fighting the crab men when his tech failed, after all his brothers had already failed in that fight.) If he has time and space to think then he's practically unstoppable, but if he doesn't have that breathing room then chances are things won't end well for him.

Combat Style/Approach: Distance fighter, brain-over-brawn, could be a grappler if necessary but uncomfortable enough with it that it might work against him, might as well dub him a 'trap master' for the little surprises he might leave in his wake if he's feeling spiteful. He's a schemer, but not a chess master.

Mikey

Strengths: If there's one thing that can be said for Mikey it's the fact that most versions of him are innately gifted at picking up kinesthetic knowledge, to say nothing of the fact that he tends to be the most spiritually gifted of the brothers. In fact in several series (2003 and 2012 off the top of my head, though I'm certain it may have popped up in others) it's briefly mentioned that if Mikey really buttoned down and was completely serious about his ninja skills he would outclass Leo-- which means that he can naturally slide into the level of skill Leo has worked for years to achieve without even really thinking about it. If he wants to. And most of the time he doesn't want to. (Too much responsibility being that serious, so who can blame him?) However, his not constantly going at the equivalent of Level 99 in a videogame in fights isn't necessarily a detriment to him, because he has other ways to stay true to himself while giving himself an edge. Like being annoying on purpose. And knowing how to aggravate the hell out of his opponents until he tricks them into getting sloppy. Until he tricks them into giving him easy openings they should REALLY know better than to give him-- and would if he hadn't deliberately torn their nerves to shreds. If it's not obvious, I'm saying versions of Mikey like to play mind-games, and if they really want to they can be vicious about it and make it HURT. (Though again, most versions of Mikey are more invested in goofing off and playing around than being outright vicious or serious.) The point is, if he finds a mental opening that sticks, then how invested he is in winning the fight will dictate how serious he is about exploiting that weakness. To say nothing about how creative he can get when he really wants to be.

Weaknesses: The downfall of a lot of Mikeys is how distractable a lot of them can be. (I won't say this is a universal fact because I'm a big fan of there being variation among different realities, but a lot of Mikeys definitely being ADHD doesn't help. How well said version is able to compensate probably also varies.) So depending on the circumstances and the environment, Raph might be able to play that distractibility against him. (Buuuut that would require Raph to play mind-games, and most Raphs aren't the 'mind-game' type.) Plus, for better or worse, it takes a LOT to get most versions of Mikey to the point where he's ready to say 'Fuck everything' and throw everything he can into ending a fight right that second.

Speed: Mikey is, in my honest opinion (and based off most of the series and movies I've seen), the fastest of the brothers-- bar none. Which means if he tore off at full speed with the intention of skipping a fight entirely and just making Raph chase him, Raph probably would never catch him. Until after he wears down anyway. But if he zipped off and found a good enough hiding spot, then he could probably avoid Raph for a while. In a fight, because of his speed, there's a good chance that Mikey might be able to get in more hits than Raph, but that comes with the risk of getting in close to Raph-- and that can easily work against him in very short order.

Adaptability: Mikey's adaptability is through the roof. Most versions of Mikey, you can throw damn near anything their way and they'll roll with it in such a way that they land on their feet while their brothers are still scrambling for stable footing. There's also the fact that he's a very lateral thinker and able to apply concepts from seemingly unrelated sources to scenarios many others wouldn't even think to combine-- and he does so to his advantage. So yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, given enough room and space to work with (and not panicking), then there's a good chance Mikey's going to catch Raph off guard with something he'd never expect.

Combat Style/Approach: Close range, flighty, dart in-range to hit and then dart back out of range, mind-games and making his opponents angry to the point of getting sloppy seems to be his preferred tactic. He could be the most terrifying to go up against in a fight if he went absolutely stone serious, but 99.9999% of the time he does not want to and would much rather slip in some fun where he can. (If you don't believe me on that last point, consider that in the 2003 series I'm reasonably sure he has the highest body count of all the brothers, in the 2012 series he killed a kraang and wore the dude's skin on his head multiple times, and in Rise ALL of Dr. Delicate Touch and the frothing maniacal rage he has when angry. 'Nuff said.)

Raph

And here we come to the turtle in question himself, Raph. Hamato Raphael, Raphael Splinterson, Raphie-boy, take your pick.

Strengths: Raph is a TANK. Barring '87, this boy in most iterations pretty much makes it his mission in life to be the strongest of him and his brothers. He's also stubborn as hell and WILL NOT give in if he thinks it's important to stand his ground. Which means he can and will hold his ground and dig in long past when his brothers each have to retreat or fold; he can take the hits they can't and come out the other side still kicking. And what's more, if he feels the need to and is able to get up and be mobile, then he WILL hunt you down for as long as it takes and damned near nothing will stop him-- he is that. damned. STUBBORN. Let's be real, that combination is terrifying. Of course, naturally, this brings up questions of just how physically strong he is. I pointed out up in Donnie's section that Donnie is ridiculously strong, but just how strong is Raph? To answer that question, the infamous scene from 2007:

Just how much psi does it take to snap a katana? WELL, it turns out that finding out that information is really difficult (at least when I was nosing around and trying to find out). When I was doing my initial searching I found a video on facebook examining an anime scene (at the time-- back in September-- it was literally the only thing that remotely came close to answering my question that popped up) that claimed it would take at least 20,000 psi. Being that the person who posted that video didn't include any sources for reference, I'd take it with a grain of salt (especially since despite my best efforts I'm having a hard time finding that video again), but still. If-- for the sake of argument-- we assume that the 20,000 psi measurement is accurate for what it would take to snap a katana, that would mean that our boy Raph is capable of exerting that much force with each hand. And not just a brief spike of getting there either. No, for him to be capable of the force in that 2007 scene (again, assuming the number is accurate) then he has to maintain that force for longer than a second or two.

I don't know about you, but that makes this scene just that much more dangerous and intense in my eyes. It's not just that Raph could have killed Leo by stabbing him; it's also the implication that he could have easily torn Leo apart with his bare hands if he wanted to. So yeeeeeaaaahhhh, if Raph is able to get his hands on any of his brothers and is able to hold on, they're probably toast.

Weaknesses: Whoo boy. In most iterations, point blank, his biggest weakness is his temper. If he gets set off too thoroughly or if someone knows how to play it against him, his temper can make him get sloppy and lead to his defeat-- regardless of how ridiculously strong he is. It also means that, unless it's a version of him who has worked his ass off to keep himself in check, there's a good possibility that he might wind up doing things he'll regret when he's angry (and if someone really wants to twist the knife they can play that guilt and self-blame against him). If you go by 2003 and 2012 there's also his bug-phobia which can be played against him. (Even though 2003 Raph covers it with 'KILL IT WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE'.) If you go by Rise, then you DO NOT. EVER. WANT THAT BOY TO BE ALONE. And on a much more brutal note, going back to his stubbornness which is also one of his strengths

...there's a good chance that this boy might try to push himself past the breaking point if he feels it's necessary.

Speed: I've said before that I think Raph is pretty neck-in-neck with Leo when it comes to how fast he is, Mikey has them both beat in the speed department hands down, and Donnie is most likely to be the slowest moving of the four of them. If Leo has to deal with heavy weights while trying to move at speed however, Raph will have him outclassed due to having more practice in that department. For Raph to have a hope of keeping up with Mikey going full tilt in running away, Mikey would have to be carrying enough to weigh him down considerably. And while Donnie might stand a chance in trying to grapple with Raph, Raph having more experience in moving heavy weights at speed would probably mean Donnie would be better off trying to glom onto Raph like an octopus rather than outright grappling. So Raph's not the fastest, but he's not a slouch either.

Adaptability: As much as I love my boy, Raph is a tank, he's bruiser, he's a bulldozer who freely makes use of sharp and pointy things he can use to stab people with. Adaptability-- barring variation between sneaking in and out versus barreling in as loudly as possible to cause mayhem and destruction as a distraction-- is generally not in his wheelhouse. Given time and learning how to play mind games (and I don't doubt that an adult Raph could pick up and use the skill when he needs to) he'd probably become more flexible, but with where he's portrayed to be at in most iterations he hasn't gotten there yet.

Combat style/approach: Close-range, grappler, brawler, TANK. He WILL hold the line, he WILL dig in and hold his ground, he WILL be the wall and PROTECT with everything he has if he has to. He's also not above being outright brutally destructive when he feels it's warranted. And that "when he feels it's warranted" is key.

Details that affect the outcome:

Raph has a protective streak 500 miles wide. A lot of iterations try to be the wall for his family, the last line of defense when needed. He would sooner see himself hurt than anyone he cares about.

And it's not just his brothers, father, April, Casey, anyone-he-considers-family that he's protective of either.

Seriously, if someone pushes the protective button on this boy and his sense of right and wrong kicks in, he WILL get involved.

Raph cares and feels deeply; to him, family is everything.

You

have

NO IDEA

how much

this boy

LOVES

HIS FAMILY

or how much he'd tear himself up if he ever seriously hurt any of them. So the chances of him ever actually going all-out against any of his brothers is slim. (And the few instances in various iterations where he's come close it's seriously screwed him up emotionally every time. Like 2003 and the pipe incident, 2007 and the after effects of his fight with Leo, the implied guilt Rise had after he snapped back to his senses after reuniting with his brothers after he'd been alone, etc.) He might fight with his brothers, he might disagree with them from time to time, but overall he comes off as someone who firmly believes you don't ever deliberately hurt someone you should care about if you can help it. Which is backed up by instances of him panicking in various iterations where his decisions might result in his family's deaths, as well as the fact that he only really turns on any of them (think SAINW) if they cross the line of not being there for each other like he feels they should be. Some iterations might threaten to run off a lot, but he never will without a damned good reason because he loves his family too much to ever want to do that to them.

Final Assessments

Raph vs Leo: If it's in close and is just down to strength-- Raph wins. If Leo has the time he needs to scheme and play Raph the way he needs to-- Leo wins.

Raph vs Donnie: If it's in close-- Raph wins unless Donnie pulls off an imitation of an octopus and gets all of Raph's limbs pinned and holds on for dear life. If Donnie has the distance, time to scheme, and the means to set traps to his heart's content-- plus tranqs, no one wins against tranqs-- Donnie wins.

Raph vs Mikey: If Raph can get his hands on Mikey and keep him in one place-- Raph wins. If Mikey plays Raph like a fiddle with his mind games and stays out of reach-- Mikey wins.

Raph vs the three of them together: Well shit, that'd be a losing proposition under the best circumstances unless the goal was to try to out-stubborn them at something. 10/10 if he had to, Raph would keep dragging himself along even if all three of his brothers were hanging on to him to try to keep him from reaching his goal. (And if Raph hasn't exploited that fact during some wild-as-shit game of theirs, then Casey Jones is the queen of England.)

Raph vs his guilt if he actually seriously hurt them: Instantaneous loss that Raph would probably have a hard time ever forgiving himself for.

So do I think Raph is as good a fighter as his brothers? Yes.

Do I think he's holding back so he doesn't hurt them? Also yes.

Do I think anyone he went up against if he didn't hold back would be thoroughly screwed? Emphatically YES.

-----------------------------

*The site I got the turtle size table in Donnie's section is [here], if anyone wants further details on sea turtles.

#Raphael #Leonardo #Donatello #Michelangelo #TMNT #TMNT 2003 #TMNT 2007 #TMNT 2012 #TMNT 2014/2016 #TMNT & Batman #TMNT IDW #meta #this is SO DAMN LONG

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gh0stbeeee · 5 months

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Rise of the Guardians/The Guardians of Childhood is low-key my Roman Empire.

Like, specifically in the movie verse, there's just... so much that was never elaborated on. It's one of the unfortunate side effects of being kid's media, things get dumbed down for no reason.

Like, Jack Frost in general as a character. He died. DIED. He DROWNED in a pond saving his sister and??? Nothing. The entire moment when he remembered became "Oh I'm the fun guy that had a family and saved my sister!" AND DIED. Very important part that is completely glossed over other than the idea of sacrifice. Like, the other guardians were "chosen," did they not die too? Did Jack lose his memories because he died, but the others were chosen while alive, chose to leave their lives and remembered?

And just, what were his early years? For a very long time, at least a decade, he probably thought he was totally invisible, that he could never have a true conversation with another person, because I doubt that he stumbled upon another spirit/legend for a while.

Like, that would have driven him INSANE. There's no way he wouldn't be super socially awkward from the isolation, much less just totally mentally well. Are spirit's brains built different? They'd have to be, but I don't think they should be able to withstand that level. Like what was the mim thinking??? Seriously just abandoned a TEENAGER he resurrected with no memory or possibility of support, that's wrong.

And on that note, let me reiterate that Jack died. In front of his little sister. Who had to go back home and tell her family what happened. Did he have a father too? More siblings? Friends and family? They had a funeral no doubt, mourned him. Because he died.

The worst part? He was right there. The whole time. Jack came back to that pond and settlement for hundreds of years, even when it became Burgress. He probably watched his funeral not knowing what was going on, saw his family mourn him without knowing it was for him. He was there when they died, not knowing who they were to him. Did he realize later on? I can only imagine the devastation.

The worst part is Manny probably had to take his memories, because Jack would have been DEPRESSED. He would've tried everything to make them believe, and they probably never would. His parents would probably never see him again, they were adults. His sister was plausible, but she's still mortal. She would have died, Jack would have seen his little sister grow old and die while he stayed eternally young. He might've not ever recovered from that, mim taking his memories distanced him from the pain for when he remembered 300 years later.

But he also could have moved on, grown and loved her descendants and honored her. The mim took that choice away, and that's pretty fucked up.

Then yeah, 300 years of pretty much no acknowledgement. Going into live blind with no guidance or memories, trying to figure yourself out but being ignored by the once who brought you here. Jack would realistically be a little nutty, because wow. It's shown the even other spirits didn't really talk to him, he made them acknowledge him by playing pranks and pissing them off till they confronted him. Maybe it's in spirit's nature to be recluses, but it's not in Jack's. He wanted attention and to be seen, but no one wanted to or could give it to him.

That's why Jamie seeing him for the first time always makes me tear up. This is the first time for HUNDREDS of years that a human has acknowledged him, not an out of touch spirit, but a regular person Jack can connect with, that chose to see him, to believe. That's beautiful, and special.

There's just so many layers to this story that we never got to see, and I'm forever sad DreamWorks abandoned the franchise.

(If anyone has any good fics that explore topics like this, especially Jack's family, please share)

#lol random rant has appeared #my seasonal fixation #rotg #rotg jack frost #jack frost #jackson overland frost #rise of the guardians #rise of the guardians rant #rant

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haechvn · 1 year

Text

Stop Trying

Pairing: Shuri x F!Reader

Warning: Prepare to get your heart ripped out. Shuri did. The angstiest angst I feel like I’ve ever written.

Word Count: 1.5k+

Summary/Request: Shuri and reader getting into an argument cuz Shuri has been in the lab for a while (2 or 4 days idk) angst ending please

Author’s Note: I wrote this on the plane back from Thanksgiving. I did something like this before but this is more realistic to me and we need Shuri to be held accountable for her actions. The reader is always black in my head y’all. Part 2 is here! Enjoy!!

Taglist: @melodykisses @blackhottie25 @tonakings @coalmistyy @szalipcombo @prettyluhlaiiii @yelenabelovasgf @callmeoncette @clqrosmgc @beautybyfire @theblacksuccubus @cherios @killmongerskeeper @shuris-whore @nut4shuri

“My love. Please reconsider this,” Shuri whispered, hands desperately reaching to grab onto yours with every step you took back. Her shoulders fall when she sees how easily you start to reject her, her body unfamiliar with such obscene behavior. She had never fathomed that there would be a time that you’d ever resist her touch. “Don’t give me space. That’s the last thing I need from you.”

It had become less lonely but more disrespectful at this point. Sure, Queen Shuri has many responsibilities since taking on the title as the new sovereign leader of Wakanda but that does not excuse her from halting communication with her partner. The two of you have been together for the last three years so you are overdue an explanation as to why your partner has not answered any calls or text messages. She never even reached out to you once.

Upon discovering from Okoye that it was simply due to her being glued to her science work and her desk in her lab, you decided enough was enough. You are Shuri’s number one cheerleader and you have been since the day you met. Never once did you overstep her boundaries and all you always wanted to make sure she felt heard and seen especially when it comes to her work. But for her to have put her technological achievements over the precious bond the two of you have built, something needs to be done. You didn’t like where your mind went.

It started when she missed dinner with you. Aneka would always try to assure you that “Nothing is wrong my Queen. The Queen will be back soon. Please don’t worry. This too shall pass.”

You continued to find yourself on your own in the excruciatingly large dining hall, eating in silence and scraping your utensils on your plate in annoyance. The Dora had been more present in your life recently than your own lover.

Then one dinner became four and then slowly turned into lonely, sleepless nights. On the fourth night, you found yourself imagining what it felt like to have her arms around you again, lips caressing your collarbone and fingers dipping languidly into your cunt. Then you snapped out of it. As two grown and fully functioning women, there is no reason why Shuri could not have just sent you a quick message to let you know her whereabouts. Constantly reaching out and receiving nothing in return to only stop by her office and find it empty triggered thoughts in your mind you have never had for the entirety of your relationship. Separation. Moving forward without her.

You aren’t some insecure little girl who is going to put up with her time being wasted and have it thrown to the back burner. You are a woman of grace, poise and elegance but you are also a woman with sense and self-respect. Thoughts of infidelity never crossed your mind as you knew Shuri adored you too much to behave in that way but she clearly didn’t adore you enough if giving you radio silence for the third time in a row was something she didn’t mind serving you.

And that’s what lead to Shuri kneeling down in front of you, hands shaking with tears pouring out of her eyes as she tried to come to terms with what you were insinuating. Take a break? Breakup? This is one equation that she can’t seem to find the solution for. Her heart felt as though it would implode on itself as she tried to steady her breathing with no avail. Her mind never anticipated that the more she worked on her scientific experiments, the results would lead her to neglecting to put you first. Her Queen.

Everything she does is for the goodness of you and your well-being but none of that matters if she couldn’t even find herself to appreciate what was standing right in front of her.

“Shuri,” you called, knowing that referring to her by her first name brings nothing but discomfort and hurt to her heart,”How long will this go on for? When you were planning on returning to me? We can’t keep playing this—“

“You… you never had a problem with this before. W-with me working long hours and I don’t—-“

“That was before when you actually communicated with me. Your partner. Now,” you seethe, nose flaring and eyebrows creasing in annoyance, ”you just decide when it’s convenient for you to show up in my life. We are not young, dumb and in love anymore Shuri!” Your blood was boiling and the pent up anger was taking control of your words instead of your logical mind.

“How long do we need to be together for you to know this type of behavior will not fly with me?! If I had spent even one day not letting you know where I am or what I was doing, you would literally shut down the entire country just to find me.”

She knew you were right. Every word spilling from your beautiful lips she craved to feel on hers was correct. Yes, the world needs her technological advancements and efforts but what happened to you being her world? When did that change? It’s not as if she was burying herself in work due to grief. She had always been able to open up to you and visit her therapist when it all became too much to bare but this. She had no explanation whatsoever.

That’s why her vision was blurred beyond measure. Her purpose wants to leave her. You want to leave her and she can hardly even find the words to comfort you the way she knows you deserve.

Shaking the tresses of curls that lay on the top of her head, she began to slowly crawl on her knees towards you again, having repeated this action about five times already. The only thing her mind told her to do was to hold her, knowing that that is what she longed for and that would may make you melt. She forced her head onto your lower stomach with her arms wrapped so tightly around the back of your legs, body vibrating and unable to stay still as heavy sobs racked through her chest. All she could do was cry. The very last thing that has been keeping her sane in the midst of her crazy life— no. She cannot lose you.

Though your words and tone was sharper than her panther claws, you stood your ground. You value yourself too much to deal with this sort of nonsense, even if it was from the fellow Queen of Wakanda.

“Shuri, I’m tired. I’m tired of your lack of empathy for how I feel. I’m tired of having to have these conversations over and over again with you and most importantly,” you ran your hand through her hair grasping on it harshly, causing Shuri to whimper at the sudden feeling of discomfort. You forced her head up so she could see the hurt in your eyes, with yours being met with bloodshot irises and rivers of tears flowing down her face.

“I am tired of you. Get off of me right now. We are done.” You lowly growled, using all your might to push her away from you, sending her backwards and landing on her backside.

Her eyes widen, arms stretched out on the sides of her body with her mouth ajar in disbelief. The way you used those sweet lips to dismiss her like she was nothing. Ironically, that’s what she loved about you. She adored how you always put yourself first in every situation because you had a strong belief that if you weren’t at peace and things didn’t serve you, it is your responsibility for you to cut them out for your well-being.

She’s being cut out. I’m being cut out. I’m being cut out. I’m being cut—

You spun on your heels, exhausted from this exchange with your now ex partner, exiting her lab before slamming your kimoyo bead bracelet and kiyomo engagement ring to the ground. Using all of your might, you found yourself jumping in the air just to crashing down on the pieces of jewelry, both under your shoes and wanting nothing more to do with Shuri or any of the technology she held above you.

“Don’t you dare reach out to me or try to find me. I already changed my number.” And with that, you disappeared from the lab.

Silence suffocated the room. All of the oxygen had been sucked out of the lab the moment you slammed the door shut. Shuri’s eyes hadn’t left the reminants of the destroyed handcrafted jewelry she’d made for you two anniversaries ago. Her heart resembled the broken shards of material that laid before her. She grabbed a fistful of her top where her heart lays beneath the cloth and let out a blood curdling cry. She screamed and cried. Over and over. Begged you to come back. Spoke to the ghost of you that remained in the room with her. She felt as though she shed more tears now than when her mother passed, with past memories of the two of you littering her mind at the most agonizing moment of her life.

“I’m alone,” she whispered to herself, barely able to get the words out and not believing any of the events that occurred mere seconds ago, “I’m all alone once again.”

#shuri x reader #black panther x reader #shuri imagine #shuri angst #shuri x f!reader #shuri x black!reader #Shuri Udaku x reader #shuri x fem!reader #shuri x you #black panther imagine #marvel imagine #shuri smut #black panther smut #shuri black panther #shuri x y/n #shuri fluff

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izunias-meme-hole · 1 year

Text

Ganondorf Designs Ranked

(Part 2 here)

Ocarina of Time (Young)

I like the outfit a lot. It compliments his buff body, the armor acts as protection, and some parts of it allow Ganondorf to be more mobile, which if fitting since he’s a theif. Also the Gerudo markings on it complement the outfit very well. However the head seems… off, mostly the hairline. Ah well we only see him with this design three times in the game anyway. 9/10

Ocarina of Time (Timeskip)

AH NOW THAT’S BETTER BY A LONG SHOT! The cape and newer headpiece makes the rest of his outfit seem more regal, while the yellow eyes make him look more demonic! Not to mention his head got fixed! His ears even got pointier in the actual game to further emphasize on how Ganon changed into a demon king! Also, can we please point out the long slicked back red mullet he has? 10/10

Wind Waker

His armor got traded in for some regal robes, he’s still built like a tank, his eyebrows are smaller, and overall he seems less of an open menace compared to before. It’s more subtle now, which is fitting, since Ganon is a defeated king trying to revive his dead empire and restore Hyrule, just to take it over. I also really like the face shape he has. 10/10

Twilight Princess

Regal, powerful, and commanding. Fitting for who Ganondorf it, but WHY is his hair curlled up? WHY can’t his locks flow in the wind? Still, Smash resued this design for a reason. 10/10

Hyrule Warriors

I miss the cape, the Gerudo markings and the black armor on the Twilight Princess design, but DAAMN this is a glow up. The longer hair, and the golden gauntlets make this design for Ganondorf more regal than the Twilight Princess design, and helps it embody a lot more of Ganondorf’s traits. 10/10

Super Smash Bros. Melee

I’m sorry, but the face somehow looks uglier than the OG Young Ganondorf. I like the realistic textures, but a lot about this design feels off. 7/10

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

This is the Young Ganondorf design with the face shape, headpiece, and cape of the timeskip design. AND IT WORKS. Also the addition of more black and grey on the outfit makes this design as good as the original GOOD OOT Ganondorf design. 10/10

Tears of The Kingdom

A true tribute to a lot of Ganon’s past designs, and he looks more in touch with his Gerudo heritage than before. Also, I like the Wind Waker inspired face shape, the long red hair, and the samurai look. 10/10

Mummydorf (TOLK)

He has the same outfit as his hydrated self, except it’s all torn up. His hair is longer too, and he looks gaunt as hell. Still this was a creepy as hell appearance. 10/10

Demon King Ganondorf

This design embodies what Demise was, but at its core it’s still pretty much Ganondorf. The horns, water-like hair, yellow and black eyes, and gloom/malice robe that’s merged onto his skin all look demonic, but every other feature he had cement that it’s still Ganondorf. 10/10

#ganondorf #ganon #the legend of zelda #legend of zelda #ocarina of time #wind waker #hyrule warriors #twilight princess #tears of the kingdom #super smash bros #(one behind the mask) Mun Izunia #Izunia speaks #ramblings #ranking #//Had to get this off my chest

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politemenacephd · 3 months

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Miguel O'Hara x Transmasc!Reader

❤️ Plot: Miggy builds you, his partner, a strap-on which creates realistic sensation in the user so that you can top him for the first time.

❤️ Content: Inexperienced/shy Miguel, Messy oral (giving and recieving), Prostate massage, Anal sex, Mutual orgasm.

Word count: 2470

‘So, what does this do again, babe?’

You admired the slick, prosthetic strap-on sitting in the palm of your hand as Miguel grunted beneath you.

The gorgeous man was spread over your shared bed in his full nude glory, arms folded beneath his head as he waited for you to start. You couldn’t stop stealing glances at him. His heaving sloped shoulders that rolled when he moved, his dainty little waist and perfectly sculpted ass, he was a sight to behold. You traced a single finger up his spine to his enormous back and watched him shudder.

‘Mm—it, should transmit phantom nerve signals to your brain that mimics the pleasure receptors and overall sensation of penetration’ he said, reciting his research with the ease one could only gain from obsession. You knew he must have been planning this for a long time.

‘Uhuh, now in layman’s terms please, sir’ you teased, gently slapping the phallic object on his right thigh.

He flashed a fang in your direction, probably hoping it would tease your brattiness, but it only excited you more. You bit your lip as you smiled and watched his eyes soften.

‘It’ll feel like a real cock’ Miguel grunted. ‘That basic enough for you?’

‘Big words, big boy, but you’re the one on your front’ you teased again. Despite his exasperated expression you could feel him shuffling closer to your touch as you rubbed his back.

‘I’ll put you on your front if you keep talking back’ he said, his voice turning gruff. ‘Show you how to use it before you break something inside me.’

‘I think you’re just worried I’ll be better than you.’

‘I built it, I can talk it away.’

‘Aw, I keep forgetting you built it just for me’ you cooed. Miguel rolled his eyes slightly as you nestled in against his back. You started with just your cheek pressed against his spine, then gradually sank down until your chest, belly and legs were spread over him too.

He grunted but his annoyance was obviously feigned; you could feel him shuffling to get a better feel of your body against his, languishing quietly under the sensation of skin on skin. He was so warm, so quietly affection.

‘You’re so nice to me Miggy’ you murmured in his ear, your voice dropping to a whisper, ‘I guess I should be nice to you too.’

You withdrew from his back and gently patted his ass, signalling that you planned to start. You felt his muscles tense as he braced.

Miguel had felt safe enough with you to confess that he’d never bottomed for anyone before, something you’d found surprising until you remembered how inexperienced he was in general. Being work-first had left him sorely underappreciated physically, and you were trying to make up for that now.

You were his first, and he was your first. You didn’t want to fuck this up.

You tried to start by gently massaging his lower back, moving down inch by inch until you were stroking his glutes. He felt so good, so rough and warm under your hands, but despite his soft moans you could feel that he was nervous. His muscles betrayed how tense he was, how vulnerable be probably felt.

You were obviously excited to feel him, to move inside him, but you were going to do this right.

‘Okay, babe, on your front first’ you said, gently tapping him on the side.

He rolled obediently, though you could see in his face that he was confused by your order. You could also see, quite brazenly, his fully erect cock now perfectly curved and straining for attention, gently twitching in the cold air as he settled on his back.

You didn’t even try not to stare. He was full, thick, covered in dark hair, already coyly sporting that pearly pre-cum delicately dripping down the shaft. He noticed you staring and clapped your arm to draw you back.

‘Why my back?’ he asked. You rolled your eyes.

‘Because I’m not here to just jump in. This is special, and I want to show you that. So, you can give me that—’

You bent down and unceremoniously swallowed half his shaft in one go, earning you your favourite sound: something halfway between a gasp and a groan, slipping from Miguel’s lips as he involuntarily arched his back.

His hand flew to your head as it bobbed back and forth, his claws digging into your scalp. He started to pump between your lips. ‘Mm—that’s it, that’s it—fuck, your mouth is so—precious—’

You could feel him practically melting as all his muscles simultaneously relaxed.

‘Such a good boy, that’s it—mm, use your tongue like that, please—’

As asked you gently swirled your tongue, carefully lapping at the base of his member. You felt his leg involuntarily shake and stamp, his claws flying out to scrape the sheets.

‘Ay coño—así, mi rey, así, mm- eres mi chico perfecto’ he rasped.

You filled the bedroom with the lewd, wet sound of your lips drawing bath and forth, filling your mouth until your jaw ached. You pushed urgently until his member hit the back of your throat barely halfway down. You wanted all of it. You wanted to feel him twitch, his shaft throbbing on your tongue, his sweet little spurts of pre-cum coating your lips.

You only pulled back when he physically tugged at your hair, his signal to indicate he was about to cum. You drew back and he gently wiped your mouth with his thumb.

‘Okay, hopefully you should be relaxed now, mm—fuck you taste so good. Okay, now…’ You paused mid-sentence to carefully clip the strap-on into place. He’d built it to fit in a jockstrap with a small censor patch over your groin, but slotting it into place on the front immediately proved quite difficult. It was a fiddly thing to clip.

‘Ah—fuck, it’s—delicate—’

When you got stuck Miguel leaned up and wordlessly helped you get it into place, and with both hands on the shaft you got it working.

Almost instantly you were shaken by a burst of sensation, the feeling of a whole new body-part now being grasped by warm, calloused hands. Your whole body trembled. ‘OH—F-FUCK, what—what is that? A-ah—’

You saw Miguel’s eyes widen as you shook. He tilted his head as his scientist brain instinctively began evaluating the effect of his creation, something that you would have found cute if you could focus at all.

‘A-Ah…. Fuck…’ You gasped, hard, as your body adjusted. You felt something throb; was that, you? You looked down and saw no change, but you could feel the shaft gently straining as phantom blood rushed through it.

It was dreamlike. Now curious, Miguel started to stroke you with his finger. It was just one finger, lazily dragged back and forth, but that alone made your knees weak. He quickly moved to using his whole fist.

‘Mi rey’ he purred, and his lips parted. You watched with the most unflattering expression as he slid his own full lips over your new shaft.

Your hands flew to his head for stability, your fingers desperately tangling themselves in his thick, dark locks. He groaned at the pulling but he refused to stop his hungry mouth from slathering you in attention.

You could feel it. You could feel him, his soft lips you’d so often felt on your own now swallowing you whole. You felt his tongue winding around the base of your shaft, flat and warm and dexterous, which mixed with the tightness of his throat for the most toe-curling sensation. Your hips started moving on their own.

You just wanted more. You wanted that tightness, you wanted to squish into his tight mouth and fill it. The euphoria was so strong it made you teary.

‘Mig, ah—’

You clung to his hair and pulled it, earning you a soft moan from him. You felt it vibrating from his throat to your shaft. You felt his spit pooling and sliding down onto your thighs as he got feisty with his mouth, his neck arching to get it deeper. So warm, so soft, so alive, with every muscle in his mouth moving to tighten and squeeze you.

‘Fuck—wish I could, cum in your mouth.’

You panted as Miguel withdrew, letting you feel every toe-curling inch of his lips. ‘I’ll try to… build that, into the next prototype, mi rey’ he promised. ‘You would, taste—amazing.’

‘Okay, okay, fuck, this is meant to be about both of us’ you said with a slightly breathy laugh. ‘Come on babe, are you ready now?’

‘Of course I am’ Miguel grunted. He was so rough with his mannerisms, and yet he looked so coy as he gingerly and hungrily lapped at your shaft one final time. ‘And don’t be gentle with me, okay?’

‘Uhuh, I promise’ you chided.

Miguel obediently settled on his front with a pillow under his belly and hips, helping to keep them lifted. You settled on mounting him from behind.

‘Okay, stay still for me babe. And, um—let me know, if you want me to stop.’

Miguel grunted his response. He was still a little nervous, but he was ready now.

You made sure to prep him as well as you could. You covered your strap-on with as much lube as you could, secretly enjoying the sensation of how cold it was, and teased him both by gently grinding just the tip of it against his ass before inserting one to two fingers at a time to see how he responded.

He was tight at first, clearly struggling to adjust to the new sensation, but he started to loosen as you helped find his prostate and began to gently massage it. He made noises you’d never heard him make before in his life. His claws scraped at the sheets, tearing them to shreds, and every moan was like a growl.

When he realized how good it felt he began to beg, pleading for you to just fuck him already, and you couldn’t say no to those desperate red eyes peering round at you from the bed. You mounted him once more.

‘Okay, stay still big boy, you got this.’

With your hands braced you lowered your hips, and after one or two gently bucks, you slipped inside him.

‘MMF—’

Miguel grunted hard, his hands tightening to fists as he adjusted to the size. He squirmed beneath you, bucking slightly as he was filled, but you barely noticed. You were ecstatic, sliding yourself down into that tight, warm space until you bottomed out.

You paused, then, when you were fully fitted inside him, letting him gently adjust while you panted. ‘Ah… you—you okay, babe? You okay?’

His response was unexpected. Miguel was whining.

As you rocked to a halt he started gently pumping his hips up at you, grinding that sweet cock into his spot all while mewling into the sheets.

You were enraptured by the sensation. You could feel it. You could feel him arching and pushing you deeper, the way his tight, warm muscles tensed around you with each pump. Fuck, he was so firm, but so soft at the same time. Your brain was melting. You wanted nothing more than to spread him wide and fucking plough him into a pathetic mess.

‘Fuck- fuck, oh my god- good boy’ you blurted. You felt him whine even harder at the soft praise.

‘Good boy’ you repeated. ‘Good boy, good boy. That’s it.’

You adjusted your mounting stance, with one hand on his back and one hand on his ass, your thumb pressing tight into his glute muscle as you started to move again.

It was hard to control yourself like this. The absolute pleasure of slipping inside him was turning your brain into pure, primal mush. You wanted deeper, harder. Your new shaft craved it.

It felt so fucking good, pinning down this terrifying man and seeing him beg for more. He was so cute with his calloused hands gripping at the sheets and his muscular back coyly arching for more. His soft moans, his pants, his gasps, the way he grit his teeth when you pushed too deep to avoid showing how it ached.

You tried to slow down to give him time to breathe, but he refused. He’d coax you back, the coy slut, by gently pumping his hips until you slipped a little deeper. You caught his eye as you returned to fucking him raw, and you saw that they were gleaming wet.

You started to rock together, gently curving and snapping your hips in a sweet rhythmic dance that pushed you together. You could hear the faint slap of your skin on his ass as you spanked him with each tender penetration, and god it made you weak.

You started to thrust harder. You felt yourself filling him, stretching him, breaking him in. Your panting began to sync up. He was pushing you up against his spot, right where your warm shaft was stimulating every nerve inside him, until he could take it no longer.

With a guttural groan Miguel orgasmed first, his whole body shaking as he ejaculated onto the sheets and across his own belly. You kept hitting him as he did, deliberately drawing back to savour his reaction.

It was something about that, about the joy of suddenly seeing your own cock carefully penetrating him from behind, your pelvis making his ass move each time you hit it, that tipped you over the edge as well. Right in the middle of his orgasm you shuddered into your own.

‘F-FUCKK—’

You pumped in deep and hard as the artificial sensation rippled through your body. You felt yourself throb, you felt your non-existent balls tighten and release as you unloaded spurt after spurt into his quivering body. You felt it pulsing hard before growing weaker, and weaker, until at last you were spent.

‘Mm… mm…’

He was whimpering as you slowed, and you were no better. You collapsed against his back and nestled into his sweaty skin.

‘I love you so much’ you whined.

‘I—love you too’ Miguel panted. ‘I love you too. Ah…’

You took a moment to catch your breath, slowly recovering your strength, before bending down to whisper once more.

'So... you wanna go again, right?'

Miguel's breathy chuckle was unbearably hot.

'Fuck... of course I do.'

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara x you #spider man 2099 #smut #miguel o'hara smut #transmasc reader #bottom miguel o'hara

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athanasius-symposium-of-writings · 2 months

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NSFT Alphabet: Antonio Paganini

@turbulentscrawl screaming wonderwall with me

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Antonio massages the sorest parts of your body (wrists, arms, hips, legs), and would draw a bath for you both to enjoy (def the type to enjoy stay intimately close). If the devil was in charge though, you need to supply the emotional aftercare, yes you may have granted permission but it is taxing on Antonio. Would def cuddle after sex and likes the weight of you on top of him, again likes skin-on-skin contact.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His face especially his nose, has a beautiful profile and he knows it. Hands but like Frederick is a man of his time and would like your feet too.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Realistic he has none, his body is technically undead`` So yay no cleanup (sorry ppl who like creampies) but unrealistically I wish he had glowly cum hbfvhbbvbv (devil skin and crescent knight)

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is an older man and like Luchino and Alva he pretty open with what he likes (he is this way with your wants too be open about it)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

No virgin, there is no way this man didn’t get laid (ps though most of them was when he was drunk)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes to be ridden

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Can match your energy with this so if you start giggling he will too (esp for those who are ticklish this is great!)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Ngl prob a brush down there and you know it prob soft and you just touching it cuz wow it soft wtf

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Again bounces from your energy

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Stress masturbate probably or the devil does it (sir go get your own body!)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Foot fetish, bondage with his hair, spit in his mouth or he spit in your mouth, you pulling his hair

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Okay so if you are in-game with him, he might get frisky but not always but happens, has fucked in the music room (fuck off Frederick!), his or your bedroom

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Flirting can get him good, but so can deep conversations the type where you are genuinely trying to get to know him. There is something very intimate about that for a man whose whole life revolved around his talents and people being fake about their intentions with him. The deep connection gets him going and when you are expressing romantic intentions after awhile that gets him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Will say devil but he does not have a choice in that manner, it will come out and he hates it. It is complex and he fears one day hurting you-- The devil hurting you but again there is not much of a choice in this.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

This man, this man’s fucking nose, bye working legs.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depending on the mood he can be fast and rough or slow and sensual or between that or a damn tease; maestro just built like that

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Depends on the situation but not one for quickies (the devil is though)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Because of the Devil’s involvement, you need to expect risks. Whatever Antiono has, he expected to know he will be forced to share.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He can go as long as you need him to go

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Use them on him, no really use them on him. I think it important to show him he can be safe and in control while being the one submissive. Show him is safe while using these and constantly be with him

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

You both need to be unfair but not too much there needs to be an endgame

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Antiono can be vocal, and you might even try to be quiet just so you can enjoy how pretty his voice is

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Looks at that Devil that trying to get in your pants….

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

IT GOOD OKAY (it got bigger)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Antiono has the average sex drive but then you got the hellion that is always ready to go so…

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He doesn’t actually need to sleep but he does relax with you enjoying the peace

#idv #reader insert #idv violinist #idv antonio #identity v x reader #identity v #idv x you #idv x reader #antonio x reader #antonio x you #violinist x you #violinist x reader #antonio paganini #identity v x you #idv reader insert #the violinist #identity v violinist

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blindbeta · 9 months

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Hi! I'm writing a modern A.U. fanfiction of a character who is canonically partially blind (he can't see well out of either eye unless he takes medicine; even then it only temporarily improves his vision, and his vision in one eye is worse than the other). In canon, he is like this because he got poisoned, but this doesn't really work in a modern A.U. that's not fantasy, so I decided to make him partially blind due to an untreated meningitis infection he contracted as a child. He has other issues because of it but this is about his blindness. Anyways, this fanfiction includes a lot of romance. What kinds of things should I include his partner doing for him, or showing his partner learning because he's blind (for example, helping him with problems related to depth perception, etc.). I'm autistic so this makes sense in my brain but I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense to you! Basically what I'm trying to say is how can I show this character's partner caring for him and helping him regarding his blindness and having tender and intimate moments without coming off as infantilizing. Thanks so much!

Don’t worry. Your question makes sense to me.

First, I believe this previous ask will help, as it provides prompts for writing romance with a blind character, including examples of a sighted partner helping a blind one.

Partners are also afforded more permission to touch or guide than a stranger would have. For example, a sighted partner pointing out an obstacle or gently guiding a blind partner would not be a problem because trust has already been built between them. A sighted partner would also be more comfortable offering sighted guide.

This means that a good partner would know how to offer help without being infantilizing. They already know what the blind character usually needs help with and what they can do on their own.

I also feel that having the blind character do things on his own would show his autonomy. Additionally, having the blind character do things to help the sighted character would provide a nice, realistic balance, because people in relationships help each other all the time.

I also believe it helps most to show the partner helping with tasks not related to blindness, as blind people need help with anything from cheering up to reminding about appointments. Not everything we need help with has to do with blindness. Sometimes showing that is all you need.

#blind #blind characters #writing blind characters #writing romance

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secondhandsorrows · 3 months

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Some Vital Scenes to Include in a Romantic Subplot, Pt. 2

Back at it again with part two of some scenes to consider adding for a romance subplot. Before we get into it, just a brief reminder that everyone’s story is different. Take that as you will. I find these helpful for planning and keeping a solid foundation for a compelling romance. There's probably a lot more I'm missing out. Some of these tips, I'm thinking, could even be helpful for writing a platonic friendship, in cases like making mistakes or helping each other through tough times.

If there's anything you would like add or share about this process or some of the things that have helped you, let me know! ~

- Moments of intimacy:

This is rather similar to our last point about flirting, but what I’m trying to get across here is the things that are not said. The unspoken. The unmentionables, if we wanna go there. But I’m getting ahead of myself… this is the kind of scene that can be built up gradually as the romance between your characters grows and deepens. Moments of intimacy in a romance subplot involve deeper and more meaningful interactions between the characters, showcasing their emotional closeness. They include physical closeness, such as hugs, touches, or moments of shared proximity.

It doesn’t have to be all touchy-feely, either. These scenes also might include gazing at the stars, a shared adventure, a sudden desire to reach out but chickening out at the last second, or a quiet moment of understanding during a tough situation. These gestures can convey a sense of comfort or safety. Intimate moments can also build anticipation and tension in the narrative, where readers may eagerly await these little, momentous moments as they read and become more invested in their relationship.

- Helping each other out:

Nothing get me more invested in a romance than those moments where the characters offer support, assistance, or guidance to each other, thus reinforcing their bond and showcasing the strength of their connection. Also, while helping each other, the characters can also encourage independence and growth in each other. They can encourage each other’s goals and aspirations, allowing each other to maintain their own unique identity within the relationship.

The characters could also perform acts of kindness, be it big or small — showing to the other character how much they care without explicitly stating it. There’s an element of vulnerability that can be explored here, in which the characters share experiences and insights good and bad — offering each other solace during hard times and joy during the best of times.

Some examples!

- Character A solving a problem in a way that only they would know or character B wouldn’t have thought of in the first place.

- Character B being understanding and listening without judgement to A’s opening up and venting.

- Character A offering support and clear-headed advice to B, who tends to get irrational. On the other hand, B standing up for A and protecting them from harm.

- Character B teaching a new, valuable skill to A, thus providing great opportunity for them to get closer and connect.

- Mistakes or misunderstandings:

Like many others, I’m not a big fan of miscommunication in romantic arcs … unless they’re resolved quickly (because they tend to be predictable, sometimes, or just frustrating when there's every opportunity for them to reconcile but they're ignoring it because drama).

Ahem. But, characters should be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. It’s realistic, because who hasn’t made a mistake at least once in their life? Not every budding relationship is ever perfect. It’s rewarding to see characters learn from their errors and work towards a mutual understanding or reconciliation. This helps to show their emotional maturity and resilience, especially if its gradual or important for their character arc.

Narrative elements that introduce complications (often arising from bad impressions, flaws, insecurities, awkward moments, mistakes, or even just being at the wrong place at the wrong time) can add tension to the relationship while providing space for growth. When used right, this can add deeper strength to your characters’ bond as they eventually overcome the bumps along the road of romance. It’s always interesting to see how characters might react in certain situations, for better or for worse. This is also a great point as to force your characters to confront their true feelings and be able to recognize them or communicate them better.

- Declaration of feelings:

Finally! The moment we’ve all been waiting for! This is the special moment where one or both characters express their romantic feelings for each other, marking a significant turning point in the subplot that often dictates how the story would then play then on out. Think about how you want your “declaration” scene to play out and what emotions you want to invoke. Is it elation? Anguish? Confusion? Excitement? Sadness? I mean, not every declaration scene has to be perfect. It all depends on the story you’re wanting to tell, how focused you want your romantic subplot to be, and what your characters are like.

Also consider how your characters are feeling in that moment and what brought them there. Have your characters been waiting for this moment for a long time now? Is it risky? Easy for them to declare their feelings out loud? Could it also be just not the right moment, so hopefully later their love will be fully understood and reciprocated? Just some helpful things to consider.

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 1 year

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when one leaves, another arrives

pairing: neteyam x female omatikaya!reader, lo’ak x female omatikaya!reader

WC: 11.8K (she’s a big one)

warnings: cursing, mentions of blood, r being emotionally messed up, lo’ak and r share a moment. should be it!

summary: when you lose someone close to you, you close yourself off from everyone else. except for one person.

A/N: i wrote this when i haven’t even seen the movie, only edits and clips on tt, so forgive me (i have now seen the movie by the time i’ve posted the fic). ITS FANFICTION LET ME WRITE WHAT I PLEASE!!! also neteyam and lo’ak are probably a bit ooc, but you know we only saw hints of their character in this movie, IM TAKING CREATIVE LIBERTY. also pretty much movie ages for our characters, r is same age as neteyam.

thank you to my lovely friend @alecmores for being my proof reader as always and leaving funny comments for me to giggle about. also if any na’vi is misspelled blame pandora wikifandom and the online na’vi dictionary.

reblogs are appropriated💗

been sitting in the drafts since feb25

masterlist

Numb

That’s all you felt, your whole body numb to the touch. Felt like you were floating, skin no longer touching the ground, only the stiff breeze that would ghost through you. You weren’t even sure if you were breathing at this moment.

Eclipse

It taunted you as your eyes stared at the heavens above. Cold, wet tears streamed down your dull blue cheeks, while another dull blue face stared lifelessly at the darkened sky. Lifeless eyes that used to hold so much love and admiration within his glowing golden eyes.

Shaking

Your body was shaking, hands unable to stop the tremors that reached your fingertips. Lips quivering as you tried to hold back the scream that wanted to rip from your throat, the whimpers of pain that built up in your chest, and were just waiting for the scale to completely tip before you crumble.

The waves were crashing loudly against your boulder, it almost felt like they were shaking your rocky asylum. There were only four bodies stationed on the jagged stone along with a burning fire in the near distance. Everything felt like a realistic nightmare, something your mind conjured to tear you away from the sugary sweet dreams that you would slip into. But this wasn’t a nightmare or dream, this was reality. Something you constantly had to remind yourself before your brain could trick you into ignorance.

There was a ringing in your downturned ears that soon started to pick up choked sobs that flicked your ears at attention. You looked away from the darkened sky and down at your three companions.

Neteyam. Once alive and full of energy, gentle touches, and commanding tones were all left behind and just a corpse with his head laying on your lap was left behind. One hand cradled his cheek, wishing to feel movement or heat while the other brushed his braids, something you always did when he rested his head on your lap. You wished to see his easy smile one more time, just for a moment, you needed the image fresh in your brain.

Tsireya was the one quietly crying, her hands holding onto Neteyam’s legs. You wanted to comfort the girl, this is probably the first time she’s had to feel the pain of losing a close relationship, the Metkayina clan not forced to see the horror of war every day for the past few years. She was a sweet girl, a caring soul, she didn’t deserve to witness this pain.

Lo’ak was the last one of your group. He was staring toward the burning and drowning ship, you weren’t sure why, but taking note that Jake and Neytiri were missing, along with Spider, Kiri, and Tuk not around; the only answer you could think of was the ship. He dropped to his knees, eyes staring down at his dark red palms, palms covered in Neteyam’s blood as he tried to save him. He took another look at the ship before facing you and Tsireya.

“I- I have to- I have to help them.” Lo’ak took stuttering breaths.

You saw Tsireya shake her head, barely heard the pleas for Lo’ak to stay on the rock with the thre- with the two of you. But you knew Lo’ak, you knew that even if his dad told him to stay, he would follow him to the ends of Pandora, just like Neteyam did with him.

He knelt in front of the shaking girl, a hand coming up to hold her cheek for a second before he walked to you. Both hands rested at the side of your head, his fingers seeping into your braids with his extra finger touching your jaw.

“I’ll be back. I promise.” Neteyam used to tell you that all the time when he was allowed a position in the raids.

Lo’ak pulled your head forward and his lips met your forehead, and they were held there for almost a minute before he pulled away and jumped off the rock and into the crashing waves. Leaving behind two shaking and emotionally wrecked girls that held onto a corpse of a friend and loved one.

“He’ll be back,” you choked out to Tsireya, “they’ll all be back.” Reassuring the both of you, needing just that tiny bit of hope to stay above the dangerous waves. Your hand continued its comforting motion of pushing Neteyam’s braids from his face.

Pandora forest

Your feet jumped from branch to branch, the ground below leaving behind a trail of bioluminescent spots before they disappeared. Light chuckles floated from your parted lips and into the open air, the breeze able to carry the sound further out. The nightlife of the forest filled your ears, something you’ll never get used to, in a good way.

You slowed down after having ran and leaped for a while, needing a minute to take in your surroundings. Your chest moved up and down pretty fast with your mouth panting for air, and fists landing on your hips to rest. Your ears flicked at each little noise, but you were trying to find the specific sound you wanted to hear, nose twitching in the air for the right scent combo.

A twig snapped and you knew already you found him. You crouched down, body low to the bark as you followed the direction the noise came from, not wanting to spook your target. You jumped to a branch below yours and surveyed the surrounding flora. You grabbed your bow and nocked an arrow in the string and waited with bated breath for any new signs. Another twig snapped, the opposite direction you just came from, you were on high alert now.

You counted in your head, to keep your heart steady and to count when the next noise might occur. It wasn’t until twenty did another sound appear, this one much closer now. You thought you were ahead in the game but looked like you just lost so you put away your arrow and sat on the soft moss, waiting for the boy.

Lost in your thoughts, staring ahead into the open air, the feeling of two hands landing on your shoulders almost made you jump and that would end up resulting in your possible death due to gravity.

“I win.” A high-pitched voice spoke into your ear.

“Neteyam!” You twisted to look at his boyish grin, “don’t sneak up on me! I’ve told you multiple times!”

He just laughed at your raised voice and moved to sit beside you, thighs touching and fingers just an inch away from touching. You wanted to make a move but were too scared so you stayed content with your slim fingers ghosting near the other.

It was well past the eclipse and both you and Neteyam knew you shouldn’t be running around in the forest at night, but it was always so peaceful and sometimes the only time either of you could be alone together without parents or siblings hovering or clan duties getting in the way.

The two of you could just get lost in nature and each other and it was the most magical thing you got to experience.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” You voiced to the silence.

It took a minute before he responded, “nervous, but yes. I’m excited.” His pinky tapped yours.

Tomorrow a couple of young hunters would complete their iknimaya and finally earn their ikrans and then later that night they would go through uniltaron, the dream hunt. You originally were going to join Neteyam in the rites of passage, but you felt you weren’t prepared enough, so you decided to wait a bit longer. At first, you were embarrassed to tell Neteyam that you were going to take longer, but he reassured you that it was completely fine and that he was proud of you with either decision you made. It made your heart grow with love.

“Should probably head back. Long day ahead of you.” You stood from your seated position and threw your bow over your shoulders, waiting for Neteyam to follow your actions.

You looked down when you noticed he was still seated and to your shock he was already looking up at you, an easy smile adoring his stunning features. He did look like his mother, a stunning woman with a strong will and a loyal heart.

“What?” You whispered the question.

He gave a light shake of his head, his smile never fading, “nothing. Just… just appreciating.” And he grabbed his bow and stood up, eyes level with each other. Both standing at around six feet and a few inches, neither hitting your growth spurt yet. You don’t know how you’ll feel when Neteyam is taller than you one day, even if it's just by an inch or two.

The two of you stood face to face, no one talking, only watching. Eyes danced over the other's features, memorizing every stripe and every glowing dot gracing their blue skin. If you could freeze time, you would do it at this moment, not wanting to leave the quiet night. You so badly wanted to reach up and caress Neteyam’s cheek but held yourself.

Instead, you cleared your throat and broke eye contact, “race you home?” And the smile he flashed gave you your answer and you took off without a warning.

Giggles and shrieks of joy followed you two home all the way, music to your ears.

You were still numb, your ears were still ringing, and your stomach grumbled but you wouldn’t touch a single fruit. It still didn’t feel real, none of this felt real. The battle was over, the injured were being tended to, and families were reuniting with tears and hugs. But your family, your family was grieving and preparing for a funeral that none of you thought would come for many moons in the future.

You just sit in a corner with your knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped tightly around them, your head resting atop the joints, staring into the void. You haven’t moved from the tiny spot since you all came back to your pod, Jake and Neytiri leaving with Neteyam’s body to bring to Ronal and have him prepared for his final living goodbye. Kiri and Tuk were huddled together in another area of the pod, Tuk sitting in her lap with Kiri stroking her hair and whispering soft words. Lo’ak sat outside with his feet in the water. He probably wished Tsireya was with him but she was pulled away by her family to help with preparations. You wanted to be there for him, someone needed to be there for him, he thought Neteyam’s death was his doing when it wasn’t; it was the sky people’s war that did it.

You finally found that bit of strength to move, Lo’ak needed someone at this moment and you knew Neteyam would want his brother to know that he loved him. With cracked joints you finally moved from your spot, arms wrapped around your waist for a phantom comfort and you walked slowly towards Lo’aks’ hunched figure. Your feet stop just a few steps away from him, just watching how his back muscles moved with his breathing, how his head would move slightly when he would focus on something else.

You didn’t say anything as you sat next to him. He didn’t say anything as his eyes took notice of your appearance. No one said anything, just two sets of golden eyes staring out at the dimming sky that was slowly dipping into the endless ocean.

You took the first step, one arm reaching out to gently touch the bicep close to you and then you slowly glided the hand down his arm until your palm fell atop his knuckles. Your four fingers settled in the open space between his five digits, a light squeeze was all you gave, but still no words.

“I’m sor-“ “It’s not your fault. None of it.” You immediately stopped him.

Silence once again.

Hands still touching.

Waves playfully pushing and pulling.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, Lo’aks falling atop yours after a second. Then you moved your hand off his and threw it around his waist with your other following, wanting to give him warm physical comfort. Knowing a hug was something he needed at this moment, to feel grounded, to feel loved, to feel seen.

An abrupt cough makes your head turn over your shoulders. Jake and Neytiri stood in the opening, both their faces littered with cuts and stitches, eyes darker and dull. You pulled away from Lo’ak and stood from your spot, walking over to the two taller na’vi.

“We must prepare.” Was all Neytiri said before holding her hand out.

High camp

The air was thick with tension, everyone on high alert for the day, no, not just the day. Everyone has been on alert for the past two years.

The sky people have brought war back to Pandora, back to the Omitikaya people and your home. The demons bring fire to burn the trees and flora, to bring extinction to the animals that roam freely. Their metal weapons are much stronger than your bows, and many people die or are injured each day during a raid or battle.

Jake Sully is very high-strung, he’s quick to snap at someone out of line, and even more angered when the people he’s yelling at are his children. Neteyam and Lo’ak stand with their tails between their legs and heads tilted down, Neteyam receiving the harsher words that struck his heart.

You would watch from afar, hands rubbing your banshee in comforting motions as your heart broke at the pain written across their faces. You just waited, waited until Neteyam was dismissed by his father and he would head immediately to find you and distract you with his pretty smile.

“How is palï?” His own hands stroked down the side of her neck, soft purrs heard from her throat. You chuckled, “happy now that you are here.” Just like you were happier he was now with you.

Your smile dropped just a bit when you remembered a few minutes ago, “is everything…is everything okay?” His hand slowed then stopped before dropping to his side, eyes facing away from you.

“Just Lo’ak doing dumb shit again and me getting my head ripped off for not keeping a close eye on him.” “Hmm.”

Men and Women were moving to and fro in the caved holding. Some were slow with their heads bent down as they conversed with the person beside them, or warriors carried their bows with their heads held high as they rushed past everyone. People were going in and out of Mo’at’s tent, many exiting with wrappings covering wounds they gained during the war effort. You could hear the faint sounds of ikrans screeching in the distance mixed with the gleeful giggles of na’vi children.

“Would you like to go somewhere quiet?” You abruptly asked.

Neteyam’s ears twitched at your question, eyes widening just a bit but then softening with a tiny curve of his lips. A meek nod was all you needed before you wrapped a hand around his wrist and pulled him behind you and further into the cool mountain. It was a small area further back, the shadows helping in keeping the carved-out piece a secret to one who isn’t curious, but you were one curious cat.

Since your parent's passing, you would travel through high camp in silence, a ghost among the living just trying to survive by yourself. You lived with the Sully’s since they were like a second family to you, but being around them, seeing the love they have for each other and how much they care about everyone’s well-being, it just twisted your heart. So at night when everyone was asleep and the camp was quiet, you would sneak out and roam around, just needing to be alone and wallow in pain and you needed to find a place within the camp where you could step into the shadows and disappear just for a few hours. And you found it.

With Neteyam still being pulled behind by you when you abruptly stopped, his chest ran into your back making the both of you stumble for a moment. Light giggles escaped without thought before you reluctantly let your grip slide from his skin, but you didn’t get far before Neteyam reached out on his own and intertwined your hands together.

You felt warm all over at the simple action.

“Ma ‘teyam, I’ve- I’ve been missing you. As of late.” You dipped your head down, flustered at the sudden words leaving your mouth. It wasn’t a declaration of love, though it was in your ears.

“I’ve been missing you too, ma tanhì (my star)” Almost a whisper to the winds was his reply, but a whisper that blew near your ear making it twitch at the caressing touch.

Involuntarily your eyelids fluttered closed and a breathy sigh left your chest. The silence only grew in tension when a finger was hooked under your chin and pushed your face up, eyes focusing in on the speckles of glowing dots dancing along Neteyam’s face and body. Your own personal sky of stars to gaze upon.

“(Y/n), there’s something I’ve been wanting to confess to you for some time now. But it seems you gave me the perfect opportunity, and I will try to say the words before they evade my mind.” His thumb swiped over your chin, along with a swift feeling of him touching your bottom lip before it was gone too soon. All you could do was tilt your head with your eyes firmly set on Neteyam’s, waiting intently to hear what’s been on his mind for this long.

He licked his lips, eyes moving side to side, “as you know it’s been a while since I’ve become one of the People.” Another simple nodding of your head, “I as well.”

“Yes. And we both have fashioned our bows out the branches of the home tree, both of us mighty warriors and aiding our clan in a time of crisis-” “Neteyam I’m well aware of these events. I’m living through them, along with them added to my songcord.” A mindless giggle showed your delight in this scene.

Neteyam gave a huff, “yes, yes. Now if you’ll allow me to speak before I lose my small ounce of bravery-” “Yes, sorry. Continue… sorry.”

A hand still twinged with yours and his thumb ran over the back of your hand, “Since we’ve become one of the People, and crafted our bows, the only thing left is to… is to find a mate.” You sucked in a breath.

He wanted to find a mate.

You understood, courting could take months and usually you’re not officially mated before Eywa until you are a full-fledged adult, so there was still plenty of time for the both of you. But hearing that he’s thinking of someone who he wants to court, hurts like a knife being twisted between your ribs.

“Have… have you,” you had to swallow past the thump in your throat, “have you already chosen. The one you wish to begin courting?” You needed to step away from Neteyam’s intoxicating self.

You tried stepping away discreetly, but before you were even two steps away Neteyam pulled you right back in, even closer than before. Toe to toe, chest to chest, your whole body so close to touching but only an inch of air separated your bodies from molding together. The hold he had on your hand didn’t loosen, only held tighter, like he was scared you could run away at any moment. During this discussion, you wished to vanish into the forest and not come back until sunrise.

“I have. I’ve had my eye on her for years, long before my rites of passage. She’s very special to me, someone who’s been by my side through many of my hardships, lifting me back up to the light from the darkness I was walking towards.” His eyes stayed on your linked hand, “she is beloved by my family, each one of them having a special relationship with her already, so I don’t have to worry about them turning her away,” he breathed a laugh. “She is a fine warrior, her skills growing each day, and might even surpass my sa’nok (mother) one day.”

Neteyam took the final step. Hands squished between your bodies, your chest touching, and every breath you took caused your top to brush against Neteyam’s chest and move it out of place just a hair. Your breaths mingled with your lips in front of each other, it took every last bit of strength within you to keep your eyes trained on his face rather than his tempting lips.

“Neteyam-” “I hope you are understanding what I’m trying to say.”

Your will broke and your eyes dropped before meeting his eyes again, “I think it best if you say it aloud. I’m a bit thick in the head.” A comment Neteyam has made to you before.

He wetted his lips, “(Y/n), ma tanhì (my star), would you allow me the honor of courting you, to eventually in the near future, become my mate for life?” He almost vibrated with energy, nervousness or anticipation, or even both was your conclusion.

“Neteyam, ma atan (my light), I would cherish nothing more and it would be a pleasure to become your mate.”

The air felt still, thick that you almost suffocated from a simple intake of air. The water felt still, even though you rode on the back of your ilu, ripples following the creature. It felt like everyone was holding their breath, worried that even the most simple release of air would cause something further to shift in the world. But nothing worse could happen, not in your mind, your worst nightmare came true and you still can’t process it.

Jake and Neytiri were at the front of your group with Tuk seated behind her mother, Lo’ak and Kiri with Spider behind followed up the rear and you were at the very back. Everyone was painted with white stripes down their face, Neytiri fashioned with a woven headpiece and the necklace Neteyam wore when he died. A hand went to your neck, another intricate woven piece of jewelry that Neteyam would wear, it also happened to be the one he wore the night he asked to court you.

The tears dripped down your face, you didn’t make an effort to wipe them away, they would just keep coming.

Many of the Metkayina stood in the shallow waters of the Cove of Ancestors, further away from your family. You saw the familiar faces near the front, the Olo’eyktan and the Tsahík, both of them stood tall and held themselves high. You saw the tear-stained faces of Tsireya and Ao’nung along with Roxo just off to the side of the leaders.

The ilu tugging Neteyam’s leaf finally stopped at its designated spot, silently telling all of you that this was the end. Jake, Neytiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak slid off their creatures and into the water, treading themselves on each side of his body, his mother and sister on the left with his father and brother to the right. You so badly wanted to join them, wanted to touch the boy you loved so badly one final time before his body was taken away from the physical plane. But you stayed back, you weren’t his mate, you were just the girl he was courting, his girlfriend- something that Jake said was between the stages of friend and mate; you were just a friend that left their home behind for a boy that stole your heart and made you a part of a loving and protective family.

So it was just you, Kiri- who you thought should have joined the others but didn’t push her into it, and Spider who watched his blood-related family give their final caresses to his skin. The kisses to his forehead by Neytiri, the fingers reaching out to his for the hand that rested atop his shoulder then a feather-light touch to his cheek by Tuk, the hand that patted down Neteyam’s tied back braids by Lo’ak- something Neteyam used to always do on the younger boy, and Jake. Jake, who still seemed in shock, that he didn’t make for a comforting gesture.

Once Neteyam was free of the giant palm leaf, Tuk and Lo’ak moved further back to where the three of you stayed. Jake and Neytiri shared a look before taking their breath and diving under the water with Neteyam between them.

You slid off the ilu saddle and floated on the right side of Lo’ak, Tuk as always was beside Kiri if it wasn’t her mother. With the water stinging your eyes just a bit, you watched as Jake and Neytiri swam down, down, down until they were just above the glowing anemone and they released their hold on their boy. They kept themselves afloat while his body succumbed to gravity or the pull toward the Great Mother, and once they touched his deep blue skin, he was covered in golden glowing light before his body was completely gone.

If you weren’t submerged under water you knew the tears would be running at the speed of a waterfall, your nose clogging with snot, and your throat choking up causing hiccups and stuttering to your breath. With a glance to your left, the sight before you broke you even further. Lo’ak, with his left hand, held out for his brother to take, was choking out sobs that were silenced by the water, only the air bubbles leaving his open mouth told you of his cries to the Great Mother.

Swiftly you reached out and linked your hands together, he needed someone to ground him from slipping away and you just needed to feel living flesh.

You couldn’t sleep, sleep had been avoiding you for weeks since your arrival to Awa'atlu, always tossing and turning on your mat. Eventually, you started to leave the mauri when the darkness would slip away through your fingers, finding yourself either sitting on the roped walkway with your feet swaying in the water or you would venture towards the sandy beaches and stare out into the open water.

You weren’t sure when he noticed your absence, but one night when you walked to the beach, you heard footsteps that were muffled by the grains on the floor and the push and pull of the water. Your heart rate picked up, you didn’t have any weapons on your person, and you chose to leave your knife with the others. But your panic died down when you saw the noise coming from someone who wouldn’t lay a harmful finger on you, but for sure would punch someone just looking at you wrong.

“Ma ‘teyam.” You all but sighed as he got closer.

He instantly pulled you into his arms, one arm around your waist and the other pushing your head into the crook of his neck. Your limbs wrapping tightly along his waist, your hearts beating as one, chest to chest. Fingers started to run through the free strands of your black hair, tiny circles by the pads of his digits.

“What is wrong ma tanhì?” He murmured by your pinned back ear.

You huffed a sigh, unintentionally tickling his skin, “sleep escapes me. No dreams enter my mind, only darkness and even that leaves me to my thoughts.”

He hummed, hands continuing their rhythmic motions, giving your bodies a light sway with the wind. Then he just stopped, hands landing on your biceps giving a light push away. His eyes held so much love within his tender gaze, “why don’t we go for a swim? We could star gaze, we haven't done it for a while.” And an instant smile split your face.

The two of you floated on your backs in the middle of the water, the water safe within the mauri pods. The quiet night was the only thing surrounding the both of you, the water was still with only a few ripples here and there causing a push to your bodies. Your backs floated atop the darkened water, hands clasped together to keep from drifting apart, braids and loose strands snaking around your heads as two sets of golden yellow eyes focused on the glowing stars above.

One Year Later

The memory vanished into the air from your mind, and the last thing you felt was your heart growing warm at the sight of Neteyam’s breathtaking smile before he pulled the both of you into the cool water.

Your legs were hugged to your chest with your thin arms wrapped around them tight, your chin digging into your kneecaps while your eyes stared out into the open water. You thought about going in, either to look at the stars as if he was floating beside you or to drown yourself and join him with the Great Mother. You knew the latter would win more in this situation, so you kept yourself grounded and forced your mind to go blank, the lull in the water helps.

You shifted a hand through the sand beside you, the texture feeling nice on your skin. Eventually, you got bored, but you didn’t want to head back, so you just laid down and let the scratchy grains cling to your skin and burrow into your hair. You turned on your side, back facing the homes with you facing the swaying trees, but you let your imagination run.

You pretended that you were lying beside Neteyam, both facing each other with only an inch of separate space. A hand from both of you resting in the middle, fingers doing a mindless dance of touching and curling, bringing smiles to your faces. You would move closer, your hand that lay on the ground would make contact with his stomach, and his muscles would flex automatically with the graze. Neteyam would move his head closer, a quick bump of your nose, giggles spilling from your lips. He would throw an arm over your waist, knuckles gliding along your back, and you would lift your hand from the ground, let your palm rest upon his plump cheek, and thumb would stroke the stripes decorating his skin. And you would clear the final milometer of air, lips a breath away, you would look into his piercing eyes and with all the bravery you could muster, would whisper the words only meant for his ears.

“Neteyam… ma ‘teyam… I see-”

“(Y/n)?”

Your hand dropped from the air and sunk into the cool sand, you didn’t even bother to turn and face the approaching voice, you already knew who it was. It was always you and one other person who would leave the home for hours and wallow in pain.

You felt his body heat, skin just barely flicking over yours. You felt his eyes on you, you knew they would drip with pity and pain for you, and you didn’t want it. You were a mighty warrior, you withstood your cuts and bruises and persevered in the battle, even your mental ones.

“(Y/n)... I’m here- I-” “Lo’ak. Stop.” You closed your eyes, the tears making a comeback. You still kept your back to Lo’ak, not finding the mighty warrior in yourself to withstand this battle, instead shrinking away from the fight.

He didn’t say anything again, you didn’t say anything again, and the silence enveloped the bubble. With the sound of shuffling you thought he got up and headed back to sleep, probably knowing how guarded you are these days, but he didn’t leave he walked around you and laid beside you.

With the past year, you’ve closed yourself off, built a stone wall high to the heavens, and wrapped around the world. Only allowing small slips into the cracks, sea shell collecting with Tuk, enjoying the flora and fauna with Kiri, weaving baskets and jewelry with Neytiri in the mauri, and you’ll do whatever you can find with Jake. With Lo’ak, there was something that pulled the both of you a tiny bit closer. Be it the Great Mother, grief, Neteyam, or all of it together, you and Lo’ak always found each other in times of comfort.

You peeked your eyes open, Lo’ak watching your every breath, an arm pillowing his head with the other hand in the open space. It felt weird that he was in the same position you imagined Neteyam, but you didn’t think anything of it.

“(Y/n), I miss him. I miss my big brother.” Lo’ak’s voice was small, cracking on the words him and brother.

You didn’t speak, something you often did these days, you just linked your sandy hands together. You gave a squeeze knowing it would silently say to him, ‘I miss him too’.

Before…everything, you were a pretty touchy person. At least when you were super close and comfortable around the individual. And because you were comfortable around the Sullys you would express your love through all forms, touch sometimes being the easiest with the quick access. But after- after he was gone, you reclined into yourself, like you were waining off the feeling of na’vi skin. But Lo’ak was someone you felt naturally drawn to just touch, and it made you hurt because you always felt that way about Neteyam. Sometimes you didn’t want to be separated for even a second, needing to have a finger touching or your tail grazing by his legs.

You were worrying a bit that Lo’ak might be taking your intimate moments, your touches as something they weren’t. You loved Lo’ak, but only as a brother. Neteyam always filled the spaces in your heart. Friend, partner, ‘girlfriend’… future mate, your future husband. No one could fill those holes, they’ll always be empty until you die.

“Have you visited?”

You blinked your eyes, focusing back on the present. Lo’ak was just watching you, waiting for some type of response to his question. You heard him, faintly, but still heard.

You didn’t say anything, the quiet your nonverbal answer.

“I haven’t either,” his thumb ran over your knuckles, “I’m too scared.”

“Why scared?” A hushed whisper.

He shrugged, “might argue with me or something. Tell me it’s my fault, which is t-“

“False. Sky people are at fault.” A constant reminder from you to him.

Silence once again. Talking always takes too much energy for you.

“Would you be willing to visit him, together?” Lo’aks’s question drifted into the air.

“When we are ready, we will go. Together.”

Two Years Later

“I would like to visit Payakan.”

Lo’ak sat up from his lying position and looked down at you, his head blocking the blinding sun rays. You just peered up at him, face completely neutral.

“W-why?” His feathered brows furrowed, “it’s not safe.”

You cocked your head, striped brow raised, “never stopped you before.” A ghost of a smile mixed with some teasing.

Lo’ak scuffed and rolled his eyes at the remark, but you saw the smile. He looked at the open water for a moment before looking back at you. You could see the tiny gears turning in his head, probably weighing some pros and cons to your proposal.

He stood up and held a hand out, his answer to your request.

With a firm grasp, you let him pull you to your feet, his growing muscles pulling you against the gravity causing a light crash with your chests meeting. His free arm wrapped tight around your back to keep you from stumbling, it caused your breath to stutter and get caught in your throat before you cleared it.

“Lead the way, mighty warrior.” A quirk of your head caused Lo’ak to move, arm off your waist but the hand still held in yours.

He called his ilu with a yelp and grabbed the saddle. You didn’t bother calling yours, you still weren’t the best at riding even after living here for two years. Neteyam usually helped with your teaching and would have you ride with him when going out. You didn’t bother with learning further, not wanting to explore without him.

“(Y/n),” Lo’ak grabbed your bicep, “come on.”

He slid on the saddle with you just behind. His left hand holding the bar tight before looking over his shoulder and tapping your thigh with his right hand, “hold on tight. Breathe deep.” And he went under.

The crystal clear water past the reef felt like a whole new world. Almost nothing for the eye to see except for a few rocks that broke the surface, but other than that everything was below the surface.

“Where’s Payakan?” You whispered in his ear, it twitched against your nose.

“Uh, should be around here. Sometimes he finds me before I do.” His head looked side to side, trying to find the giant tulkun in the vast ocean.

You wrapped your arms around Lo’ak’s abdomen and leaned your head between his shoulder blades. Your ear could faintly hear this heart beating as he touched your forearm with his fingers, his heart speeding up just a bit.

“Is Payakan friendly?” Voice slightly muffled.

“Yeah. As long as you don’t provoke him or offend him. But he’s my spirit brother, he’ll accept you happily.”

“The sea gives and the sea takes.” Words you heard from Tsireya during lessons.

Your heart lurched at the phrase. Lo’ak lost Neteyam to the rocky seas with a fire burning in the distance but gained a Metkayina spirit brother in the calm and clear seas. Eywa must keep a balance of life, but this wasn’t a balance.

“Oh! (Y/n), look!” He eagerly tapped your arm and pointed to the horizon.

In the blink of an eye, a tulkun appears before the both of you, its eyes watching intently. It made some noises of communication, out of happiness or a threat, you couldn’t tell. But Lo’ak happily slid from the saddle and swam beside his eye and gave a very open hug to the creature. Its eyes closed and hummed a higher pitch, happy.

“(Y/n), come.” Lo’ak held a hand out for you.

You quickly joined the two, Lo’ak’s hand moving to place yours along the tough skin of the animal. A smile was pulled at your lips, you weren’t sure why, but you didn’t think too hard about it. You felt extremely happy for the first time in two years and you’ll absorb the feeling into your bones.

“Payakan, this is (Y/n). She’s part of my family.”

“Hello. Lo’ak speaks very highly of you. I’m grateful for the opportunity to meet you.” Your hand moved in soothing circles.

Another higher-pitched hum, “he likes you.”

Your attention away from Payakan focused on Lo’ak. He sat on the floating fin, hips and lower half submerged in the water with his torso and up dry. He held a delicate smile on his lips, small indents on either side. His eyes which were already focused on you looked gentle, his lids dropped just a bit, and his golden irises held a tiny spark.

It caused a shiver to run along your spine.

Three Years Later

Your lower half sat in the shallow waters of the beach. Water pushing and pulling, lapping at your body giving a gravitational pull, a pull that you resisted each time. Your hands would dance atop the surface, palms skimming the pleasant texture and fingers doing quick taps that cause a tiny plop.

You watched with fondness as Kiri lay on her stomach with her body submerged below the clear waters. One arm kept her upper body from dropping into the sand while the other ran through the still grains. Something so simple and she was mesmerized, you loved it.

With a turn of your head, you noticed two figures further down the beach, one teal and the other blue. Tsireya and Lo’ak. They were sitting beside each other, you couldn’t tell much about their conversation, neither giving off blatant expressions. They seemed to be making jewelry or carving, maybe both, each doing their own thing while just wanting to enjoy the other's company.

They looked happy, at peace. You felt glad for them.

“They make a good couple.” Kiri’s sudden voice causes you to jump a bit. You just nodded, “they do. Maybe they’ll mate when older. He’s been into her since we arrived.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

Everyone is tired and wishing for rest, hoping they grant uturu to your family. Neteyam and you automatically stand beside each other, fingers grazing as you walk to the formed crowd. With your curious eyes, you try and take in everything around you, from the people to the village, and it amazed you. And then with the perfect timing, you noticed a girl slipping into the water before making her way to the shores, and you heard a slight gasp. With a slight turn of your head, you noticed how Lo’ak couldn’t take his eyes off her, he was instantly fixated on the beauty.

You bumped your hand against Neteyam’s calling for his attention.

“It seems your brother has found a potential mate,” a quick chuckle, “if they allow.” Was all Neteyam followed up with.

“(Y/n), did you hear me?” Kiri’s fingers dug into your ribs.

You shifted away from a potential second attack, “no. Sorry, a memory came to mind.”

You ignored the eye roll she gave, “I said, but it seems like Lo’ak might have affection for someone new.”

A furrow came to your brows, “where are you hearing this? Do you not see the way he acts around Tsireya? He acts like a skxawng about… ninety percent of the time, and that’s just now. It used to be a bit higher.”

She licked her lips and her eyes dipped to the ground before meeting yours, “there’s something different…in the way, he looks at- his eyes hold something when he gazes upon you.” You couldn’t believe the words leaving Kiri’s mouth, “his eyes hold something when he gazes upon you.” She was wrong, simply wrong.

“You are wrong.” You shook your head at her absurdity, “Lo’ak doesn’t see me as anything other than another sister.”

She huffed, “(Y/n), I don’t know if you ever knew this, but when Lo’ak was younger he would tell me how he admired you. You probably thought nothing of it, but he would try to follow you around like a lost direhorse. I noticed the tiny scowls that came upon his face when Neteyam would steal away your attention. Plus he’s the only one you’re physically affectionate with besides-“

“I’m affectionate with all of you. Neteyam was extra special in my heart, he was my promised mate.” You started to get defensive.

She placed a hand on your shoulder, “yes, I understand. I just notice how the two of you hold each other in the night, Lo’ak holds you firmly to his chest with his arm over your waist and you will have your face tucked under his jaw.”

Your ears twitched, “I’m just trying to say, be careful. The both of you. Someone is gonna get hurt, and we’re just starting to heal our wounds.” Were her last wise words before standing up and walking away.

Three Years and Five Months Later

“I want to go to the cove and see Neteyam.”

You turned your head to the side, and bits of sand scratched your skin. Lo’ak kept his eyes on the sky, hands clasped over his stomach. You looked away when he didn’t meet your gaze.

“You are ready?”

“Not really, but I need to see him again.” It seemed like he had more to say so you waited, “are you ready?”

This time you knew he looked at you, the movement caused your ears to twitch at attention.

“No. But his face has started to blur and I lost the sound of his voice, his laugh. I miss it all, so it must be time.” You pushed off the ground and hunched over your legs.

His hand touched your back and you flinched before relaxing. Kiri’s words from a few months ago echoed in the back of your head. “If you are not ready, we can wait. You said we would go together when the both of us are ready. I’ll wait for you.”

You peeked at Lo’ak, something about that last part struck a chord with you. You see how his brows were raised just a bit and pinched in the middle, eyes open and clear. Full of understanding and love.

You fear Kiri’s words are becoming true.

You licked your lips, “we’ll go to the cove.” And you instantly stood up and walked away, Lo’ak following a step behind.

The both of you trod water for a bit once you reached the spirit tree, fully realizing that you're finally gonna see Neteyam again after three years. With a look to Lo’ak and a nod from him, the both of you took a breath and dove under and down.

As you stared at a tendril you started to think maybe you weren’t ready to see him, but with your hand being tugged by Lo’ak, you pulled your queue from behind your back and let the moving tendrils be pulled closer until they connected with your mind.

You were back in the forest.

It was midday, and the bright sun held high in the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight. The grass was a luscious green, soft beneath your bare and calloused feet. Helicoradian and Octoshroom stood at their tall heights, you hit a few helicoradian causing them to shrink in on themselves which brings a laugh of joy out of you.

You walk to the stream where you and Neteyam would usually hang out during the day when both of you were free to escape. As you get closer the sound of the rushing water causes your heart to speed up just a bit, you’ve missed that sound for a while without even knowing.

When you entered the clearing, pushing a few low hanging leaves away from your face, your breath caught in your throat and you almost tripped over an unseen root. Head popping away from the rushing water and in your direction, Neteyam.

He hasn’t aged a day, which, obviously. But it just causes you to freak out a bit, you’ve grown three years, would he see you as past you or present you?

But focusing back on the boy you’ve missed so much. His usual head of braids, feathers, and beads were missing, just a curtain of dark black strands falling over his face and shoulders, it must have been a washing day. He’s also free of a necklace and armband, you notice his knife and bow are near the banks.

“(Y/n), come join me!” His voice made your chest rumble. Has it always been this deep?

“No tricks?” You stepped closer.

“No tricks,” he echoed back.

“Are you naked?” Hands at your hips.

He rolled his eyes, “obviously. Will you hurry up?”

“Nìhoet (perv), turn around first, skxawng.”

“We are to be mated, I’m allowed to see.”

“Not for a while, ‘evengan (boy). Turn.”

He put his hands up in surrender and turned, his toned back showing off his defined stripes. Quickly you stripped yourself of your feathered top and loincloth and rushed into the water with a splash.

You swam up to Neteyam who turned around at your disruption to the quiet. You kept your body under the water with just your head peeking free, your hair a halo behind you.

“I’ve missed you, oeyä sayrìp (my handsome).” A hand touched his cheek before pushing the free hair away. Needing to see all of him.

A hand fell atop the one resting on his cheek with his free one sitting along your jaw, thumb gliding with your stripes as his other three fingers dug into the root of your hair.

“I’m right here, oeyä sevin (my pretty).”

You teared up at that. He says he’s right there, but he’s not. You can’t touch him or converse with him whenever you choose to, you have to make the journey to the spirit tree now just to see figments of memories you had with him. And it seems he doesn’t even know he’s dead, so you can’t tell him these qualms you have.

“Ma tanhì, what hurts you?” Both hands hold your face, caged in his clasp.

You hold his wrist and close your eyes, the tears leaking from your waterline and down your cheek. You feel him wipe them away. You have to bite your lip to compose yourself.

His lips kiss your forehead, they linger and it breaks you even further. He pulled away and you said the words that have been lingering on your tongue.

“Ma Neteyam, Oel ngati kameie (i see you).”

He smiled, that easy smile you always loved seeing, “I know.” And he pulled you close with the hands still on your face, and pressed his lips against yours.

Your eyes peeled open.

All you saw was the bright light of the tree with your queue still attached before you pulled it free. You turned your head to the left where Lo’ak was floating, he still seemed to be connected, his eyes closed and hand still held firmly in yours. You bit the skin of your bottom lip and squeezed your eyes shut.

This was the reason you waited to visit because you knew that when you saw him again, it would break you like the first time. He didn’t get enough time with you, with his family, with himself. It wasn’t fair, this was the cruelest thing Eywa has ever done to you.

With a pull to your arm, your legs automatically began scissor kicking you back to the surface. You took a gulping breath when you broke the surface, droplets of water running into your eyes and on your mouth, and your ears almost felt clogged. You pushed your heavy limps back to the ilu, biceps straining with the sudden weight before flopping on the saddle, ready to leave.

“You okay?” Lo’ak asked as he saw beside the animal, left hand on the saddle while his right touched your knee.

You looked away before making eye contact, “just tired.” Both emotionally and physically.

Lo’ak watched you but didn’t say anything, he just climbed in front of you and told the animal to go home.

When you reached the shore you quickly climbed off and walked away, needing to be completely by yourself and allow yourself to wallow or break down or just stare at nothing. You just wanted to be alone. But of course, with Lo’ak, he’ll come chasing after you.

“(Y/n). Come on, we should head home.” And when his hand grasped your wrist, you exploded.

With a blind rage in your heart, you barred your fangs and released a hiss from deep within your chest. He let go of you and you stepped away before running into the trees. The instant regret took away a bit of the fire in your heart, you’ve never bared your fangs at any of the Sullys, even in playful moments.

As you walked through the small jungle area of the island you scrubbed your hands over your face, trying to erase any evidence of your tears. Cheeks flushed with your blood rushing and eyes touched with a red hue in the whites, chest heaving with hiccuping breaths and your ribs hurt with every few beats. Finally, your knees just gave out causing you to collapse to the floor, a deep growl building in your throat.

With a scream, you cried to the Great Mother, begging and pleading for Neteyam to come back. As exaggerated as it sounds, you needed Neteyam to breathe, to live. He unknowingly gave so much purpose to your life, you planned a future with him, you talked about children when you were ready. Pandora doesn’t have the same vibrant colors you use to see every waking day, it doesn’t hum with the high-pitched energy that you felt in your bones. Everything was dull and gray, the food tasted bitter on your tongue.

In your moment of heaving air and pleading to the air, arms snaked around your waist and pulled you in tight against a solid chest. You indulged for just a moment, pretending it was your beloved, but the voice snapped the trance.

“Just pretend,” he kept his voice low, “pretend you are in his arms. Say the words to free your heart.”

Your cries died off, your brows furrowed at his words. You tried to turn your eyes on him, but he removed a hand from your waist and draped them over your eyes, blocking out everything unimportant. You heard the water crashing, the wind brushing the leaves and grass, and your ears twitching with every breath that touched the sensitive skin. His skin was a warm comfort, chest pressing with every breath released, the pads of his fingers just a bit rough from time, the arm still holding your waist was a welcome weight.

“Talk to me, ma… ma txe’lan (my heart).” A nice pet name, but you heard the hesitance, and ignored it.

You touched his forearm, “ma ‘teyam… how I yearn for you day and night. Fruits aren’t as rich and juicy, the sky isn’t as bright and clear, and the children’s shrieks of joy aren’t as full in my heart. You were the air I breathed each second and now with you gone, I feel like I am suffocating. So right now I am angry at you. You had to be the fucking fkew tsamsyiu (mighty warrior)! I- I know how Kiri and Lo’ak- how they care for the human, Spider, but- you couldn’t be selfish or- or pull Lo’ak away. You couldn’t say no, he- Lo’ak, has such a soft spot in your txe’lan. And I know, I know already, I’ve told him plenty of times, it is not his fault. He just wanted his friend back, I understand. And- and I understand your actions, your family was in danger- our family was in danger,” you heaved a breath, “I- I am not angry with you, I’m angry with the sky people. They can’t leave us alone, touching and violating our home and destroying every beautiful gift Eywa has blessed us with. We should have been able to grow old… grow a lor (beautiful) family in the forest. We would teach them the way of the bow, grow them into fkew tsamsyius or zeykoyus (healers), and they would learn from Mo’at.” Your body slumped, and energy vanished.

Lo’ak felt the tears but didn’t speak, only kissed your temple. The kiss lingered and then another kiss near your ear, another to your cheek, a fourth one to your jaw that lead to a few more. You felt him turn your head, both hands touching your neck, you didn’t dare open your eyes, too lost in the spell to break it just yet. With your hands moving to take hold of his biceps, you felt the breath of air ghost your lips.

“Please,” you begged with your heart.

His lips pressed to yours hesitantly, waiting to see if you’ll push further or break away. You tilted your head just a bit, granting better room for your lips to properly move together. And within those few seconds of kissing, you knew. You knew that the spark that was usually there every time has disappeared, telling you that this wasn’t your Neteyam and that you couldn’t see Lo’ak in any other way than as a friend, a brother.

You pushed away, shame filling your blood. ‘You shouldn’t have done this’ ‘This wasn’t fair to Lo’ak’

“I am sorry. I- I shouldn’t have…” “(Y/n), would you mate with me?”

Your head snapped to Lo’ak, eyes wild with confusion at his sudden question. He looked serious, with no hint of mischief within his glowing eyes. His hands still held a firm hold on your neck, his fingers grazing your skin. His ears were pressed to his skull, awaiting some type of answer from you.

“I- I… why would you ask such a question? Whe- where is this coming from?”

He licked his lips, “Neteyam would want you happy. He would want you to have that family, to grow old with someone who cares for you as he did.”

‘No one could care for me as Neteyam did’

“It hurts to see you in pain and I would do everything in my power to take it away-” “You do not like or love me, Lo’ak. You are just confused, I have confused you.”

He shook his head, “no, no. I do, I do like you. I hold love for you that can grow with time-”

“Lo’ak! Stop this!” You wretched free of his hold, “mating is a serious affair. You should not be proposing this pairing just because I have lost my promised one. You say that you are doing this because Neteyam would want me happy, but what about you? Would this union bring love into your life every time you think about it? Because you are blinded by- by our- by my unintended intimacy. I have taken advantage of your comfort, I have twisted your thoughts. You do not love me. You do not see me.”

“Oel ngati kameie, (Y/n). I do,” Lo’ak tried to reach out to you.

You shrunk back, “do not throw those words around worthlessly!” Your arms wrapped over your stomach, “Lo’ak, I know that you had some type of- of feelings for me when we were younger. Kiri mentioned it to me. And with time I assumed they faded because when we arrived here you were instantly transfixed with Tsireya. I saw how your eyes followed her movements, your brows raising, the- the greeting you said to her that caused giggles to spill from her lips. I could feel that this was something more. And when our training started I saw how nervous she made you, how she said your heartbeat sped up every time she touched you, the both of you sharing dazzling smiles. Tsireya makes you happy, Lo’ak.”

A sigh left your lips, “do not throw your happiness away because of me.” Lo’ak tried to take a step towards you but you backed away, throwing a hand up, “I think it best if we are away from each other for a while. I- I need to heal properly and you need to rid yourself of these thoughts for me and focus on spending time with Tsireya again.”

Four Years Later

��Fkew Tuktirey! A glorious catch! The family will be proud.” You shifted her head of braids, her laughs filling the air.

The two of you trudged back to your mauri pod, Tuk holding the fish she was able to catch. She’s grown so much in four years, now age eleven and standing at shoulder height, it brought tears to your eyes, she was already starting to be confident and outgoing. Neteyam would be so proud of her.

As she ran ahead into the home you could faint voices having a conversation, voices talking loudly and over each other. You were worried someone was getting yelled at, but when you walked in it was a different scene than what you expected.

Near the entrance, Jake and Neytiri were seated on the ground, smiles brightening their faces in glee. And you noticed that two other bodies sat across from them, Tsireya and Lo’ak, their hands clasped beside their thighs. They all looked up at your and Tuk’s interruption to the home, but no smiles faltered at the intrusion.

“Sa’nu! (mom) Sempu! (dad) Look at the fish I caught with (Y/n)!” She hopped her way over to her parents. They both gasped and applauded her catch, Jake pulling her into his lap, pecking her face in quick kisses causing her to laugh. It was a joyful sight to behold.

“This will make for a wonderful dinner tonight. A celebration of two!” Neytiri boasted. You cocked your head, “what’s the other occasion?”

You took note of Jake and Neytiri sharing a look and Tsireya and Lo’ak doing the same, you and Tuk were the only two out of the loop. It wasn’t until Tsireya gave a simple nod that Lo’ak turned to you, “Tsireya and I are to be mated.” Tuk shrieked in delight before leaping to the couple for hugs.

“I always knew the two of you would come together,” a declaration heard by everyone but meant for Lo’ak. “You were always wise, (Y/n),” then suddenly Lo’ak did the gesture, hand to his forehead before dropping. I see you. The others might have thought it weird, but it meant a lot to you, Lo’ak finally understood you.

“Oh, Tsireya, I can’t wait for you to be an official family member!” Your arms are thrown over her shoulders. The two of you giggle with infectious joy and wiggle your bodies with buzzing energy.

Four Years and Two Months Later

The waves crashed and cried, the thundering in your ears almost a welcomed melody at this point. The blazing sun of the late afternoon warmed your skin in a nice hug, and gentle kisses to your cerulean stripes.

Your back sunk into the grains of sand on the beach, the shade of a palm tree leaves bringing relief to your face. Your eyes were closed in peace with lips slightly parted to release puffs of air, hands clasped over your stomach as it rose and fell. With your hair free of braids and the wind blowing, your jet-black strands would tickle your chin or nose, a crinkle forming to stop an incoming sneeze.

Almost slipping into a calming slumber you missed the soft steps heading your way on the beach, the wind and water covering the tracks. It wasn’t until a crunching noise grew louder that you heard the sigh of someone beside you. So you peeled an eye open and in the corner you saw-

“Lo’ak. Did you need something?” You just closed your eye and waited for an answer from him. Body stays in its tranquil state.

He didn’t say anything, you only heard shuffling on his part. But you waited, letting him collect his thoughts since it’s been a while since the both of you have been alone together. It was nice to be around him again, but you knew it was for the best, for both of you.

There was a graze to your forearm and it made you tense up, the touch unwelcomed. You didn’t push him away, just turned your head and stared at the boy- the man before you. Your golden eyes squinted at his quiet demeanor, knees pulled up and head bowed with his braids falling over his shoulder and shielding his face.

“Lo’ak,” he jerked his hand away like you burned off fire, “why have you come here? It is best if we are away from each other.”

His head moved, “I’ve missed my old friend. Missed sitting in silence with you and just keeping each other company as we mourned for Neteyam. Missed having you join me when visiting Payakan, he misses you as well,” a quick laugh, “and I- I just missed being with you.”

You let the words sink in, digesting and absorbing every syllable and word. “I have missed you too, Lo’ak.” A simple confession. You saw the tiny smile on his face.

“Are you excited to be mated with Tsireya?” Wanting to have an easy conversation.

Lo’ak looked out into the clear waters, “yeah. I’m lucky she accepted me, flaws and all. She’s so perfect and gentle and sweet with everyone she meets, always having my heart squeeze with admiration for her. And she chooses me, reckless and carefree Lo’ak who’s always doing shit to get me into trouble or danger. The perfect girl chose the disappointment. It is almost like a dream.” His fingers twiddled, pulling at the joints or tapping fingers together.

“You are not a disappointment, Lo’ak.” A poke was sent to his thigh for his attention, “your family loves you very much. And, yes, some of the things they have said to you haven’t been the nicest, but they bubbled from a place in their heart from fear of losing you.”

He looked away, hands still fidgeting so you pulled the closest into your grasp as you continued speaking, “and you say you are lucky for Tsireya choosing you, but she is also the lucky one. She looks at you like you hung every star that sparkles in the night sky, you pull laughter from deep within her chest, her heart. She touches you with a fragile air, hands always clasped between your bodies or caressing your cheek as she gets lost in your eyes. I see all this from far away. And- and I envy the both of you.”

Lo’ak opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him still needing to speak your mind, “I am so happy that you are able to have this love in your life. You truly deserve the best Lo’ak and being with someone who makes your days brighter and heart lighter, Eywa has given you a great blessing.”

You saw his eyes gloss over with water forming and his tongue popping out to lick his lips. You said all that needed to be spoken, so now you let him understand your words and waited for anything to be said from his side. With his hand still in your hold you ran your thumb over his knuckles.

“(Y/n), I know these are probably the words you don’t wish to hear, but I too need to speak my mind as well.” His eyes bore into yours. You had a guess as to what he was going to say, but just nodded your head and let him speak.

“I did like you. When we were younger and I saw you in action for the first time, it was like Eywa crafted you with such care and precision. I was in awe, but Neteyam got to you first, so I kept a certain distance when it came to you. But when… when he died… I felt- I felt just a bit of hope that- that- I don’t even know now. But I do want to say… you were right. Us being separated helped clear me of confusing thoughts and feelings and allowed me to focus on the one who loved me right away.”

Four Years and Nine Months Later

The beach was crowded. Every resident of Awa’atlu was present and dressed in their finest for the union of Tsireya and Lo’ak, the first pairing of different clans. Tonowari and Ronal along with Jake and Neytiri stood to the side of their children, and their siblings at the front of the crowd. You stood between Kiri and Tuk, a hand in both of yours.

You watched and listened as Ronal stepped forward, with her being tsahík she was the one to officiate the wedding, giving her blessings and wise words from Eywa. You saw the smiles pulling at the parents' mouths and the tears welling in their eyes, their children have grown up.

Tsireya with her hair intricately fashioned with beads and shells, her top that shimmered with pearls covering every inch of skin, but her smile and teary eyes were the most beautiful part of her. Her ever-expressive face showed that she was excited to spend the rest of her life with the man standing before her, ready to start a family with him in the future when they are further into adulthood. Excited to wake up every day to his face and arms wrapping her tight to his chest and falling asleep every night to the feel of his chest moving with every breathe and feel the light kisses he would place upon her hair or forehead before mumbling how he loves her and wishes her a good night.

With Lo’ak it looked like he was holding himself back from jumping into Tsireya and tugging her into a steering kiss. He wore a newly woven armband with a feather attached and an Omatikaya cummerbund, almost like his final goodbye to the forest before he gets his tattoos of the Metkayina warriors in due time. He held her hands tightly, thumbs constantly moving to show his nerves and excitement. His smile was ginormous, it was pushing his cheeks high and causing his eyes to squint, it was adorable. His tail was swinging side to side in a rapid movement and his ears were perked high, listening to every word being spoken by Ronal. His eyes shine with love, probably thinking of getting to kiss his mate whenever he wants, day and night nothing would stop him from a quick peck or a passionate melting of lips that caused hands to wander. He’ll enjoy all the loud and quiet moments in their home, just enjoying the other company as they do their own tasks. He’ll talk about his day over dinner and she listens with focused ears and watchful eyes.

The loud cheers of the crowd snapped you from your daydreaming, imagining you and Neteyam’s future.

Tsireya and Lo’ak share a kiss before the clan, their joining of queues and mating before Eywa would take place away from the eyes of others.

With a feast held in their name, everyone was in high spirits. The music was flowing and people were dancing, the food was cooked to perfection and in abundance, and the drinks splashed causing people to let loose. You clapped, cheered, and laughed with your new clan, your new home. Conversing with people your age and allowing yourself to make new friends.

When the eclipse was high in the sky you excused yourself from the festivities and walked to a secluded part of the beach.

As you lay on the beach with your hands behind your head and eyes staring up at the sky, you yearned for him once again. Yearned for his warmth and his touch, his voice and laugh. Yearned for the domestic life you envisioned yourself to have with him, imagining your children squealing and running amuck, but bringing endless light and joy to your lives, as he’d done to yours.

With almost five years passed since his departure, everyone has healed most wounds. There were still cracks and tears within your hearts that might never mend, but you knew that Neteyam was watching all of you. He would be smiling and almost shocked that Lo’ak mated before him, but he would be happy because he knew his little brother deserves every ounce of love. Neteyam would be happy that everyone is living their lives happily and growing more into themselves, with great love filling their bones.

And with that knowledge, he’s happily waiting with Eywa until his family can join him on the other side.

...

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shioririn · 5 months

Text

The Distance Between Us | Sakusa Kiyoomi

Sakusa Kiyoomi is a realist.

Not only does he dislike wasting his time on idle thoughts and worries that are mere inconveniences, but he also preferred dealing with the problems when they surface. And with the current predicament that he’d left untreated for far too long, it’s finally time for him to have is dealt with once and for all - or at least until he manages to screw himself over once again.

The empty space that separates the both of you couldn’t have stretched any longer, nor could it feel any colder than it already is, but seeing the distressed expression on your face only served as the final nail in the coffin that he’d built for himself. If he had known that this would happen, he wouldn’t have stood watching as you ran off, not even attempting to call or check up on you when you needed him the most.

It truly is cowardly of him.

In the months that you’d known each other, you both acknowledges the flaws that each of you carry, but being the prideful people that you are, refused to admit to it until the damage has been done. While Kiyoomi is the one that refuses to allow anyone into his physical bubble, you, in turn, is the one that struggles to show emotional vulnerability, even if you needed to. This alone had caused a lot of friction between the both of you, yet you had left it untreated simply because neither of you had the courage to cross the line that separates you the most.

While some people would argue that distance would only make the heart grow fonder, Sakusa Kiyoomi wholeheartedly disagrees.

How could he agree when it was the same distance that now drove a wedge between the both of you, with the indefinite promise of reunion floating in the wind idly?

And when he’d signed the contract with MSBY Black Jackals without much hesitation, the distance only grew even larger as Kiyoomi packed his belongings and hopped on the first flight out to Osaka, leaving what little pieces pieces of his heart in his empty apartment behind. He reminded himself that it was better if he gave you the space you desired - it was not - and that you’d be fine because you’ll always be fine - you were not - so he left.

In hindsight, it was a terrible decision.

To leave you when you needed him, not signing with the Jackals, he repeated.

Komori calls him every Saturday morning to remind him, after all.

The way he ended things with you was less than pleasant, but he was also only seventeen and ignorant. Ignorant of feelings, and disregarding of yours.

You had always tried to communicate through light touches - he misses them - be it linking your pinkie finger with his when they brush past each other as he walks you home after practice, or the way he could feel you smile through the fabric of his shirt when he doesn’t recoil immediately when you hug him, and he wonders if you ever understood him through his eyes. He used to think that you did, but perhaps he was arrogant for assuming such, as the flinch you’d given him when those words left his lips were so foreign, and filled with even more hurt.

Perhaps there had always been a distance that neither of you could see.

He was only ten steps away from you when he met you again for the first time in five years, less, if he were to take larger strides. But unlike the last time he saw you, he harbored no nervousness; because unlike last time, you no longer looked at him like he was a stranger.

Five steps.

He could almost hear the sound of his own heartbeat thundering against his chest, and he swore that if he were to attempt to speak, his heart would jump itself out of his body, so he didn’t speak.

Four steps.

You held your gaze with his, unwavering, and wonders if his eyes have always held so many emotions at the same time. They seem to jump from uncertainty to hesitation, but you eventually found the one emotion that you’d been searching for since middle school, so you smiled, satisfied.

Three steps.

His palms felt sweaty, but he welcomes it, his finger twitching as if searching for the familiar warmth he’d grown accustomed to.

Two steps.

You resisted the urge to take the last step yourself, so you kept your feet planted where they are, although it didn’t stop you from turning the ring that sat on the ring finger of your left hand, a comforting gesture that you weren’t sure you’ll ever be able to shake off.

One step.

He reached out to cup your face with his hands delicately, as if afraid that you’d suddenly vanish right in front of his eyes, but you remained as you are, and he lets out an involuntary sigh of relief, one that you laughed airily at.

“Welcome home, Kiyoomi.”

Maybe what we’d perceived to be distant never really is, and all we needed was a little bit of courage to close the distance between us.

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little-cereal-draws · 2 years

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Details I noticed on my second and third rewatches of Werewolf By Night

Jack reached out to touch the bloodstone as soon as he got to the funeral. If he hadn't been interrupted, he would've blown his cover immediately and been killed, let alone doing anything to save Ted. He's such an idiot (affectionate)

When he's talking with that Scottish hunter in the beginning, he says, “I can almost smell the blood on your hands.” Foreshadowing much?

What happened to Elsa’s mom? They imply it's something 'terrible'/dishonorable but they never say

When they're all being introduced in the circle and listing how many kills they have, when it comes to Jack the line is “And over 100 deaths. Give it take.” I thought it was interesting how they suddenly used deaths vs kills (especially because Jack probably told them that. Let the angst begin lol)

It says "This end up on coffin" lol

Jack chews on his lip during Ulysses’ speech about the strongest hunters gathering and the crusade against monsters. It's so very subtle but you can see he's nervous

Jack looks scared and concerned when they get told the stone would be put on the monster. It's a split second but his eyes get wide and he goes :o

The set is actually amazing, especially the garden maze

In the tomb Jack gets the most brilliant smile when he says he's "not that kind of hunter" and Elsa says she’s not either. He probably thought she was secretly some kind of monster too for a second because his face literally looks like when a dog sees another dog or when a queer person sees another queer person in public. Like "Hello!! You're like me?? Like me??? Hello! Hi!!"

When talking with Elsa about families, Jack says, “My family was very different.” Why does he say "was???" What happened to his family??? (Another opportunity for angst lol)

In that same conversation, Jack also says, “We think that by doing something specific we cannot be like them.” Why does he want to be different than his family? What specific thing did he do? I need more backstory!!

All the bugs and spiders crawling out of Aunt Frances' tomb was a very nice touch lol

Laura Donnelly's (Elsa’s) acting. She's trembling. She genuinely looks terrified but like she’s making herself be brave anyway. The single tear that rolls down her cheek right before he turns and how she just nods at his apology because she can't trust herself to speak? The way she's made herself as small as possible and is partly covering her head in fear but can't look away as they shoot him? The way her breath keeps hitching because she has no idea if she's going to die or not as she reaches out to touch his face at the end? It's so much more genuine and realistic than other MCU acting I feel. Like ofc the other actors in other projects are talented but I don't feel like they get scared often or get scared in a realistic way. Like if I was trapped in a cage with an angry werewolf, I also would be curled up on the floor crying. 10000/10

Before he turns, Jack says he has “systems” in place to stop himself from turning or at least calm it down. Besides locking himself inside, what are his systems?? I want to know!!!

When Elsa asks if remembering people's scents have ever worked before, Jack immediately shakes his head. Almost as an afterthought, he says “Once.” Who was it??? Why is he still so sad if it worked?? Did they die immediately anyway for some other reason??? Did he not recognize their scent until it was too late??? I NEED BACKSTORY! (and more angst)

When Jack asks to be killed as he is "or there will be no mercy," the old lady, who's name I can't remember, says, “Our system is built on mercy for you.” She genuinely seems to believe it for a second before bursting out laughing and going back to being evil. The story is told from the perspective of those against the hunters, but I want to know what the thought process/justification of the hunters is! Ofc they're doing it to protect innocent people from dying (like they mention) and there is certainly an element of personal gain/ego in it but how do they believe they're having mercy on the monsters themselves? What's the ideology behind it all?

In werewolf form, Jack's eyes glow in the dark but when you get up close, they look like human eyes

The blood on the camera. Such a cool touch

A list of things Ted had at their camp: Two suitcases (one with clothes in it), a sunflower mug, a deck of cards, a cowbell (why is there a cowbell??? lol), a gramophone, a guitar, just the phone part of a phone booth (again, what???), a blanket, and a fire extinguisher

Jack uses both hands to hold the sunflower mug because he's so shaky and tired, he would drop it otherwise

The groans Jack makes as he stands up lol That is also how I sound when I stand up

Jack and Ted's banter on the log. It doesn't matter if you don't know what they're saying, you can instantly tell they're best friends. The way they're laughing and pushing each other and how quickly it switches into annoyance. ...Which only lasts a couple seconds before they're chummy again. True friend conversation

Ted's eyes are really cute in color. His pupils are little star/flower shapes

#rewatch #marvel #mcu #wwbn #werewolf by night #jack russell #elsa bloodstone #ted manthing #man thing #gael garcia bernal #laura donnelly

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bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky · 2 years

Text

Cupid's Chokehold | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi! I don't write smut anymore- this is smut adjacent. And because it's me it's got some angst, but also fluff. It's kind of a catchall.

Warnings: domBucky, subReader, talk of sex, sex acts, choking, discussion of kinks, Bucky's trauma

------------------------------------

Back before you got together, you’d imagined Bucky’s style in bed as gentle, almost too polite. He was from a different era. Things in his day certainly weren’t as wild as the current age. And after his time as the winter soldier, you knew his soft touch was an overcompensation. A penance for the violence he’d performed.

You feared you’d scare him with your kinks and deepest desires. But his quiet nature held a depravity you hadn’t expected.

When he asked you to find his notebook and read aloud a phone number he’d jotted down, you never expected what you found.

“Baby, did you find it?” he called, but you didn’t hear him. You didn’t notice his footsteps growing ever closer, either. Only when he touched your shoulder did you realize you weren’t alone.

“I didn’t mean to- it just opened to this page and I…” you stammered. “Buck, is this a sex bucket list?”

Bucky’s cheeks reddened, and he kicked himself for asking you to flip through his notebook. “I didn’t- it wasn’t supposed to be a bucket list…” he said. “I heard about a bunch of things, and I didn’t know what they were. I just wrote them down so I could look them up, but…”

You eyed his list and read a small selection. “Bondage. Edging. Impact play. Marking. Hmmm…” Everything on his list enticed you. “So, you liked some of ‘em, huh?” you nudged your shoulder against his. “Seems like you’re the dominant type.”

Your sex life with Bucky was slow and steady. He still didn’t trust his own strength, still feared he’d hurt you. And giving his body over to you, no matter how much trust you built, presented its own set of challenges. He was still working through some things, and you never pushed. But something about the way he looked at you as his notebook sat open in your hand made your cheeks hot.

“Yeah, I liked a lot of ‘em, actually,” he said, his hands fidgeting. “I just don’t know why I like those things.” Something unpleasant darkened his gaze. Out of pure instinct, he took a small step away. “I know what it’s like to not be in control, you know? I’ve been restrained and marked and hit…” His voice fell a bit quieter, “I know how it feels. And I don’t want to do any of that to you.”

The heat building in your chest fizzled at the mention on Bucky’s abuse. He had no realistic gauge for measuring what was and wasn’t okay. So much happened to him during his time at Hydra- he had zero ownership of his own body. They stripped him of his autonomy. It made sense that he feared these particular desires.

“Nothing you experienced was consensual,” you said. “That was abuse. The way this stuff works,” you gestured to his notebook, “this stuff is all agreed upon. It’s discussed and negotiated. There’s safe words. No one does anything that the other hasn’t said yes to. You know each other’s limits- it’s about safety. And trust.”

He nodded.

“And as far as preferences go, everyone likes what they like. Maybe you steer more toward dominance because Hydra took your sense of control. Or maybe it’s something else completely.” You dotted a kiss to his lips, “I don’t know why I’m submissive in bed. I just am. And I don’t see you any differently for the things you wanna try. I encourage exploration.” You shot him a wink shut his notebook, handing it back to him.

Something in his smile reignited your lust. “I know we’ve been taking things kinda slow because of my, um, unique situation…”

“I’m not in any rush, Buck.”

He rested a hand against your cheek and dragged his thumb across your bottom lip. “I know, baby. I was just thinking…” He nearly stopped himself. What if he made you uncomfortable? He wasn’t sure exactly what you liked just yet. Up until this point, everything in your sex life was cautious and calculated. No spare energy or focus went to kinks or fantasies. He kept a careful watch on the way he touched you. He knew what you didn’t want, and you knew the same about him. But everything else remained a mystery.

“If you want to help me check a few things off my list, we could start tonight-”

Your ‘yes’ was immediate.

But before you could make it to bed, Bucky pulled you into the living room and made you sit in his lap. He had you give him every detail of what you liked. What you wanted. He listened and asked questions and shot you a wicked smirk every time something you said stoked his fire. Focusing on your words when his ever-hardening cock nudged against you time and time again was nearly impossible.

In return, he told you what he liked, what piqued his interest- what he wanted to do with you. His breathe hitched as you listened with your hands trailing down his abdomen. You’d been right- he was dominant. And everything he wanted seemed to line up perfectly with the things you thirsted for. It sent rush of heat to your cheeks. Who knew he had such a kinky side?

Together, you agreed on hard limits and safe words. And, while Bucky did want to spank you, he showed no interest in doing so with anything other than his right hand. “I don’t wanna use this one…” he said, clenching his metal fingers into a fist, “it would hurt too much.” And you assured him that he didn’t have to- he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to do.

When he finally carried you to bed, your mouth nearly watered. Everything was a haze of lips and hands and sweat- it almost had you dizzy. And even though Bucky knew your limits, he still had to ask every so often. He checked in when you went quiet- or got particularly loud- but always a received an affirmative in response.

“No nodding,” he said when you were too breathless to speak, “can you use your words for me, doll?”

After a few greedy inhales, you gave your answer. “Yes. I-I’m good.” You wanted him to consume you, to never stop touching you.

His left hand pinned your wrists above your head while his teeth left mark after mark across your chest. He teased you, had you almost begging. And when you didn’t beg, he flipped you over. If you weren’t going to play his game, he’d turn your ass red until you did. You shot him wicked smiles and bratty shrugs, never following his instructions.

But when you finally played along like a good girl, he granted you what you wanted: his cock.

He drove into you time and time again, your legs hoisted up around his waist. His fingers dug into your hips and held you firmly in place. Nothing could make him break his rhythm- until you spoke up.

“Buck-” you breathed, reaching for his hand, “choke me.”

His hips stuttered to a halt.

You let out a needy whine and moved against him, “Wait, no…” Yet again, you tried to roll your hips against his, “don’t stop. I just want you to choke me”. You gave his hand a tug, “please?”

He leaned in close a dragged his lips across yours before responding with a firm, “no”.

You pouted. Maybe he was teasing you- yet again. Your bratty attitude returned with a vengeance, “Why not?”

“Because your headspace is compromised.” Bucky was serious. “You might want that now- but regret it after. And I don’t want that to happen.” He dropped another kiss to your lips.

“But, Buck-”

“No,” he said again. “We’re not gonna renegotiate now. We’ll talk about it later, baby.”

Another rebuttal found its way to the surface, but just as you opened your mouth, Bucky stopped you. “Be a good girl ,” he gave his hips a slow roll, “and don’t argue.” And that was the end of it.

Bucky held your pliant body in his arms. He gave you some water to drink and inspected every bite mark and hickey that adorned your skin. He quite liked how they looked, and knowing you liked them too had him grinning. He checked in on you, doted on you, made sure you felt safe and loved and cared for. And when you finally came back to life, you were ready to talk.

“I’m really sorry about earlier, Buck…” you rested your head against his sternum in shame. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just got carried away in the moment and I-”

“See, that’s why I wouldn’t do it.”

You brought your face up to meet his, “what do you mean?”

“You said you got ‘carried away’, and that’s why you wanted me to choke you,” he said. “You weren’t thinking clearly. We didn’t agree on choking beforehand. And I didn’t want you regretting it after.”

You nodded.

“You said it’s about safety and trust. And if I did anything to break that trust or make you feel unsafe, I’d never forgive myself.” He ran a hand through your hair and brought his palm to rest against your cheek, “Plus, if I’m being honest, I don’t necessarily want to choke you.” A strange cold eliminated the warmth from his eyes. “I did that a lot when I was, um…” he clenched his metal fist, “anyway, it’s just not something I’m comfortable doing yet.”

“Oh, then forget it,” you said. “You don’t ever have to be comfortable with it- we can forego that completely.”

“But you want me to-”

“Not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“What about-”

You silenced him with a long, soft kiss. “There’s no ‘but’ or ‘what about’. If you don’t want to choke me, don’t do it. This is about both of us feeling safe. And I don’t want to do anything that’s gonna dredge up shit from your past. Choking is off the table.” You gave him another quick peck to punctuate your thought.

The tension in Bucky’s shoulders fell away with your words of reassurance. He couldn’t shake the image of his vibranium hand wound too tight around your throat, blocking your air way, and crushing your windpipe. It made him shudder. But he cared about making you happy, about pleasing you. More than his own comfort.

“I can work up to that- I just don’t want to right now,” he promised. His accompanying smile was a bit too wide, a bit too fake. “But I’ll get there, I promise. Just give me a little time and I’ll-”

You brought your hands to either side of his face, silencing him. “You don’t have to get there- I meant what I said. It sounds to me like that’s a hard limit for you. Is that correct?”

He shrugged. It was a non-answer; he didn’t want to commit either way.

“Okay- how about this? I told you earlier that don’t ever want to hit you in the face cause it makes me uncomfortable. Remember?”

He nodded.

“Would you want me to ignore that limit if you asked me to slap you across the face?”

Without hesitation, he said no.

“Then why are you willing to ignore a hard limit of yours?”

But you knew the answer. He didn’t have control over his own mind or body back at Hydra. He did what he was told, no matter what. And if he didn’t, he’d get punished. They’d strip him down to the bone with beatings and reset his mind until they could guarantee he wouldn’t resist. They’d break him all over again before putting him back together for the millionth time.

And, though he knew he’d never face wrath like that with you, it was his nature to do as he was told. He may have been dominant during the act, but after was a different story. He aimed to please, to obey, to follow orders.

“This is our bedroom in our house and what we say, goes. Alright? So if you wanna add choking to your list of hard limits, we will. And you don’t ever have to try and get comfortable with it. You don’t ever have to do it.” This time, you pulled him into your body. You rested his head against your chest and ran your fingers through his hair. “Do we have a deal?”

Bucky nodded against your chest.

“Can you use words for me, babe?”

He smiled against your skin- it’s like you stole hie earlier words right out of his mouth. “Yes. Deal.”

“Good,” you leaned down and left a kiss on his head. “Cause we only scratched the surface of your notebook- there’s a lot more things we can try.”

———————

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