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#but also maybe no one noticed or cares and I’m just overthinking this
morbid-bvnny · 10 months
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#mentions of su^cide this is a vent post so maybe don’t read#I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and haven’t been able to fall back asleep due to chronic overthinking and stress#it’s always early morning or late at night that my disorder starts fucking with me most#when I have literally no one to turn to#my head is so far under water that I have no idea what to do and it’s fucking tearing me apart#I’ve been struggling financially for about about a year and a half now and it just seems to get worse#no matter what I try to do to make it better#I’ve changed jobs I’ve worked multiple jobs I’ve asked for raises I’ve tried to get as much overtime as possible#but im literally killing myself every day just to barely be scraping by and it fucking so bad#im such a fucking failure in life I can’t do a single thing right and every door I open is a dead end#im starting to think that there’s nothing for me and there’s no place that I fit in#on top of financial stress I am struggling with a chart full of mental illnesses all of which I am unmediated for#you guess it^also financial. I cannot even afford to pay for my meds and I’ve been off them for the year and a half I’ve been struggling#this whole year and a half I made friends and I’ve lost them just as quickly#I literally crave connections with people but I have no idea how to even remotely communicate that to anyone#I can’t make friends I’m as uninteresting as it gets and I’m distant and communicating is a struggle for me#I want friends but I lack the understanding of what helps friendships grow#I feel so alone on a day to day basis it’s depressing and I’m at a point where I feel like I could k^ll myself and nobody would even notice#or care for that matter#I’ve noticed the things that kept me from committing are no longer things that hold me back#rather they’ve turned into reason to go through with it instead and the only thing keeping me alive is not having the means to do it#I think the world will be exactly as it is without me and I’ve made no real difference in anyone’s life for it to even stir up emotion#the world keeps moving#people will say oh that’s so sad when they hear about it#and they will move on as if nothing happened#the burdens I’ve brought on my family will be gone and ultimately they would be much better off without me here#I guess it’s only a matter of time at this point
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babyleostuff · 9 months
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HURTS SO BAD | CHOI SEUNGCHEOL
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summary | seungcheol calls you clingy in front of the rest of the boys
genre | angst & fluff
word count | 2k
pairing | choi seungcheol x gn!reader
authors note | if you have any svt requests feel free to write me 🫶🏼
It was the third time today your call went straight to voicemail. If not for Jeonghan’s messages that Seungcheol was at the practice, you would have thought that something happened to him.
This whole situation was very odd, Seungcheol usually picked up your phone calls, and even if he didn’t, he would always send a text saying he would call you back as soon as he could.
“Maybe it’s just a tough practice session,” you thought.
They had been practicing hard for the last couple of weeks, some of them locked up in their studios and the rest working on the choreography, spending most of their days and nights at the HYBE building.
Not dwelling on it much, you packed your bag and left for the boys’ favorite ramen place. You could bet they didn’t have a lot of proper meals during that time, so as the caring partner and friend, you took it upon yourself to take care of those hard-working boys.
As you got into your car and started the engine, you noticed the dark clouds looming overhead. The next second the patter of raindrops began lightly on your windshield, gradually increasing in intensity.
“Great,” you thought. “Of course, it had to start raining now.” Even so, you gave up on going back home for an umbrella - you just wanted to get the boys the food they needed and finally talk to Seungcheol.
As you pulled out onto the road, the rain only intensified, and your hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter as you concentrated on the crazy traffic you got into.
After a while, you safely parked the car before the restaurant and quickly ran inside, shielding yourself with your jacket as best as you could. Or Seungcheol’s to be more precise.
He never minded when you were stealing his clothes, always making sure to tell you how adorable you look in them.
You knew the boys’ favorites like the back of your hand, so after you quickly ordered the food the only thing left was to wait, and hope that nothing serious is going on with your boyfriend.
You didn’t know why exactly you were overthinking this so much. Surely, he had his quiet days where he needed some time for himself, so why would it be different this time?
The thing was, he always would give you a heads up when he wanted to be alone, but nothing like this happened this time.
“Are you sure you’ll be able to carry this alone?” the waiter pulled you out of your deep thoughts.
“Yes, I’m kind of used to this,” you chuckled.
Getting back to your car, the rain still pouring, you quickly but safely made your way to the HYBE building.
Being a partner of one of the most influential people in this company was certainly an advantage, and that's why getting to the dance practice room was not an issue for you.
Chan, Minghao, and Soonyoung caught your attention first, as they were probably going over some steps in the middle of the room.
Then you spotted Joshua, Jonghan, and Jun talking in the corner, as well as Mingyu, Vernon, and Seungwan arguing about something, per usual. The rest of the boys were resting by the mirrors, and that’s where you also finally found your boyfriend.
“Food has arrived,” you laughed as you saw the expression on Mingyu’s face, who was the first to notice you. Someone turned the music down, and not a second later most of the boys were around you picking out their orders.
“You’re the best,” said Jeonghan and hugged you softly. With only one last box in your hand, you turned to Seungcheol, who looked like he hadn’t noticed your presence yet.
“What is up with him? Has he been like this the whole day?” you turned to Jeonghan.
“Yeah, but I’m sure he’s just stressed,” he sighed, looking at his best friend with a bit of pity in his eyes.
You patted Jeonghan’s back and walked up to your boyfriend, crouching before him.
His posture appeared slouched, and his eyes, once vibrant and full of life, now carried a subtle hint of exhaustion, with heavy lids that seemed to be begging for rest.
The deep lines and shadows under Seungcheol’s eyes betrayed his lack of sleep, confirming your suspicions that he didn’t take proper care of himself.
“Hey, baby. I got you food,” you smiled at him, taking in the lack of his usual energy and enthusiasm.
He didn’t even look at you as he stood up and passed by you. Now this was very weird. “Cheol, what is going on?” you asked, your voice laced with concerne.
He let out a deep sigh, which could’t mean anything good, and turned around to look at you.
“What do you want me to say, huh?” he said, raising an eyebrow at you. “You come here, God knows why, and disturb our practice, which is like the last thing we want right now,” his tone was only getting angrier as he spoke.
“Thanks for the food, I guess, but we are capable of taking care of ourselves. We’re adults, it’s not like you have to look out for us all the time, you know. Trust me, we are stressed enough, and we don’t really want anyone else to be up our asses right now,” he was at the verge of raising his voice right now, which has never happened in your relationship before.
With each hurtful word coming out of his mouth, you could feel yourself getting smaller and smaller and your eyes welling up with tears, shimmering with unspoken pain.
The thoughts in your head were racing, searching for meaning or a way to process the hurtful words you just heard from the person you loved the most. You folded your arms tightly across your chest as if trying to shield your poor heart from further harm.
“What would be the best right now is if you simply left and stopped being so damn clingy. Oh, and I was actually looking for that jacket, so if you don’t mind, could you please leave it?”
The moment these words left your boyfriend’s mouth, something in you shifted. You looked at him in pure horror, not once in a million years thinking you’ll hear these words from Seungcheol.
The boys could see how your expression changed, a mix of emotions flickering across your face - hurt, betrayal, and anger. Your muscles tense, and fists clenched, you breathed hard, ready to defend yourself.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? No, but seriously,” you laughed in disbelief.
“I come here, scared as shit because you haven’t been answering any of my calls or texts, and if it wasn’t for Jeonghan, I wouldn’t even know if you were fucking alive Seungcheol,” you noticed he flinched hearing you using his full name.
“I come here with food because I know for a fact that no one in this room has eaten anything proper in a week, and you dare to call me fucking clingy? For what? Taking care of you? If I’m such a burden, why do you even want to be with me, huh?” At this point you weren’t holding back, not caring what you were saying.
“I get it that you’re tired and stressed, but I’ll never let you call me clingy for being worried about you,” your voice reflected the strength of your anger, becoming louder than usual.
You could feel your heart breaking as the last words left your mouth:
“Fuck you, Seungcheol.”
Not even sparing him a glance, you threw the jacket at him, turned around and walked out, leaving twelve stunned boys standing in shock from what had just happened.
As you got back into your car, the weight of sadness settled upon you like a heavy blanket. Your gaze was fixated on the road ahead, yet your mind could stop replaying the scene from just a few minutes ago.
The atmosphere within the vehicle felt still, almost suffocating, as the silence enveloped you from the absence of conversation or cheerful music that usually filled the space.
You spend the rest of your day on your couch, and to your surprise, you didn’t even shed a tear. You were too numb to feel anything.
Your thoughts seemed to move in slow motion, as if trapped in a mental haze and the world around appeared muted, as if viewed through a foggy lens.
Just as you were to fall asleep, covered with a single blanket on your sofa, you heard the door to your apartment open. After some shuffling in the hallway, Seungcheol appeared from around the corner.
His tear-stained cheeks glistened under the soft glow of light and you could clearly see his eyes were reddened and puffy. His facial expression carried the weight of his emotions - a mix of sadness and exhaustion.
“I’m sorry,” he simply said, before collapsing to the ground, sobbing quietly. Tears cascaded down his face, tracing delicate paths along his cheeks that you adored so much.
Almost as if forgetting what took place earlier today, you rushed off the sofa and in an instant wrapped your arms around your crying boyfriend. With each breath, his body quivered, his shoulders shaking slightly and his chest rising and falling in sync with his sobs.
“I don’t know what happened, I... I didn’t mean any of this, please believe me,” he cried onto your shoulder. “You have to believe me,” he whispered.
Not saying anything, you only held him closer to your chest, stroking his back softly in a loving manner, as he continued to cry.
“Cheollie, listen to me,” you grabbed his chin lightly and made him look at you. Looking at his tear stained cheeks, you felt so many emotions bubbling inside you.
“I know that you didn’t mean them, but that still doesn’t make it fine.”
“I know, it’s just that-.”
“Cheol, let me finish, yeah?” You smiled weakly at him. “I understand that you have a lot on your plate right now, and if I only knew how you were feeling I would never do anything to make it worse. I love you so much, you know that and that’s why you should have talked to me and told me you needed space-.”
“No, no, no. I don’t want space. I need you honey, I need you around, you’re the reason why I keep going on during times like these,” this time around he was the one that didn’t let you finish.
“I love waking up with the knowledge that I have the best and the most caring partner by my side. I love that you don’t only take care of me, but also the boys. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, and everyday I feel so grateful that I can call you... That you’re my...” he struggled to finish his sentence.
“Your the most perfect person and I fucked up so bad today,” he whispered those last words, slouching his shoulders almost as if embarrassed.
“You did, baby,” you sighed, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “But nothing a cuddle session can’t fix, right?” you smiled widely, at the surprised look at your boyfriend’s face.
“You want to cuddle with me?” he said in his belief, a slight pout on his face.
“Yes, you dumbass. But later we’ll still have to talk about this. You really hurt me and it won’t just go away,” he nodded his head quickly, taking your hands in his.
“I’ll do anything to make it up for you.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, baby,” you laughed and stroked his cheek.
“After Mingyu fought me today, I think everything is possible.”
“Wait, what? Mingyu did what?” Now it was your turn to be shocked. It had to be the first time that the giant puppy had fought back.
“Yeah, I think we should write that down somewhere. But I had it coming.” he said pulling you down on the couch.
“Oh yeah, you definitely did.”
As you nestle close to each other, the weight of the world seems to melt away. Your bodies mold together, fitting perfectly in a tender embrace. Limbs entwine and hearts align, creating a secure and comforting space, for the first time in days.
Wrapped in each other's arms, the outside world fades into insignificance. The only reality that matters is the warmth and tenderness exchanged between your bodies
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alt-vera · 1 year
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If you’re taking Joel requests, can I suggest a pre-virus where you’re being a good neighbourly citizen and always bringing him extra food you’ve cooked when you know he’s had a late shift (for Sarah and him) and one night there’s a knock at your door and he returns the favour of gifting you food, when Sarah’s at a friends house, so he stays for dinner and gets to know you except the dinner also comes with some slutty Joel
— cowboy take me away ⁀➷
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joel miller is surprised by how kind his new neighbour is. he decides he has to find a way to repay her.
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♡ | joel miller | 2.5k | ❛ cowboy take me away - the dixie chicks ❜
warnings: preoutbreak!joel miller. mentions of food/eating. thigh-riding. fingering. praise. piv sex. age gap. mdni.
note: very lowkey channeling that scene where jess brings rory food in gilmore girls n denies it was from him <3
❝ i wanna be the only one, for miles and miles, except for maybe you and your simple smile ❞
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JOEL HADN’T EXPECTED HIS NEW NEIGHBOUR TO BE SO… NEIGHBOURLY.
 Sure, he’d offer the polite wave and greeting every time the two of you would leave your houses at the same time, have small conversations when getting the mail, even sending out the offer to help you fix anything wrong with your new place.
 But Joel never imagined that he’d come home after a late shift to Sarah telling him how earlier you’d dropped off food for the two of them, and he certainly didn’t expect for it to become a common occurrence.
 It’s almost as if you had a sixth sense for when he’d be working late and couldn’t make Sarah a proper dinner. Or maybe you were just observational.
 At first, Joel was hesitant. Sure, he knew you, but he didn’t know you. What if you were some psycho freak who put poison in the food just for kicks?
 But one cautious bite into the dinner you made, and Joel knew that wasn’t the case. This food was prepared with heavy TLC; tender love and care.
 After two weeks of your graciously received meals, Joel decided to return the favour. He’d whipped up a hearty pasta salad, excusing it as a reason to use the stray veggies in the fridge for a nice summertime meal. You also seemed the healthy type; he’d snuck peeks of you doing yoga in your backyard multiple times, sports bra and leggings doing nothing to hide your figure.
 As he hovered his meaty fist over the solid wood of your door, the first pins of doubt began to needle him. Was this weird? Joel hadn’t been able to acknowledge your kindness at all, simply because he hadn’t seen you since you began your nearly daily meal runs. It was almost as if you were a ghost, dropping the food off to Sarah and disappearing into the simmering sunset.
 ‘No,’ He finally decided. ‘I’m simply returning a favour.’
 He rapped at your thick door, the knocks echoing through the quiet neighborhood being painted by the hues of the sunset. A soft summer breeze flowed around him, cradling him with the smell of lilacs and faint barbecue.
 He tried not to jump when you answered the door almost instantly, a smile gracing your youthful features as your eyes scanned him. He suddenly felt very subconscious in his worn grey tee and ratty jeans. He shifted his weight in the soles of his workboots.
 “Joel Miller,” You greeted, elation present in your voice. “What can i do for you?”
 You didn’t address your dinner droppings at all, and Joel struggled to not let his eyes crinkle in confusion at that. Maybe it wasn’t you doing it? Or maybe you wanted to leave the simple kindness at that. Simple.
 Maybe he was overthinking everything, given he’d been there for only a minute.
 “I, uh, brought this for you,” He said gruffly, awkwardly holding out the tupperware filled with his delicately cooked pasta salad.
 “Come on in,” You welcomed, waving him into the house and shutting the door behind you. He took in his surroundings, breathing in the smell of lavender and linen, noticing how clean your house was despite being moved in for less than a month. He’d figured there’d still be boxes scattered around, like there was when he first moved into his house with Sarah, but everything was pristine and spotless.
 “Did Sarah put you up to this?” You asked, disappearing into the house. Joel took this as a cue to follow you, dinner still in hand as he clumsily shook off his heavy boots, listening to the sound of your voice to find you. “I told her you guys didn’t need to do anything in return. I just wanted to be helpful.”
 “Uh, yeah, she did,” Joel replied. A big fat lie. He did this entirely of his own volition. “Said I should return the kindness.”
 “Well, you might as well join me,” You replied softly, and Joel watched as you already moved to the cupboards, grabbing plates and cutlery. “Is it just you? Or should i grab another place setting for Sarah.”
 “No, she’s stayin’ the night at a friends house,” He replied, sitting down in the oaky chair at your kitchen table, putting the food down carefully, as if it were glass and he were afraid to drop and break it.
 You brought the place settings to him, and he watched you as you neatly organized everything, the smell of fresh flowers tickling his nose from the vase in the centre of the round table.
 You even went as far as to serve the food for him, pouring him a glass of water and making sure he had everything he needed before serving yourself and sitting down to eat.
 Joel tried not to relish in the domesticity of it all.
 “You really don’t need to bring us food,” He said after swallowing a bite of the meal, the sweetness of bell pepper lingering on his tongue. “Sarah can cook—well, she can cook grilled cheese and use the microwave, and that’s about it, but—“
 “No, no, I don’t mind,” You replied, smiling at him before taking a quick sip of water. “Sarah told me it was just the two of you, and I usually make too much anyway. I’m used to cooking for a big family, and now that i’m by myself…” You trailed off. “Well, i guess i’m just not used to portioning for one.”
 “Big family?” Joel prompted after a moment, not wanting silence to dig it’s sharp claws into the comfortable atmosphere around the two of you.
 You nodded. “Yup. Three brothers, all on sports teams. My mom worked a lot, ‘cuz she was an RN, so i’d have to make a lot of food for those knuckleheads. Learned how to barbecue at a very young age.”
 A chuckle escaped Joel at that. “Yeah, I know the feeling. My brother Tommy, well, he was on the football team. I mean, i was too, but boy he could turn a family sized meal into a meal for one.”
 The conversation flowed easily as the two of you ate. Talking about family, and the past, and the present. How the job Joel was currently working on was taking longer than it should. How you were settling into the neighbourhood.
 After the plates were cleared you set a chilled beer in front of Joel, the condensation beading and running down to create a wet ring on the top of your table.
 As he reached for a sip from the now half-empty bottle he winced, a sharp pain shooting through the muscles in his shoulder.
 “Bum arm?” You asked, and Joel nodded silently.
 “Been given me trouble for a few days now,” He mumbled, turning the cuff in a sloppy circle. “Must’ve pulled a muscle or somethin’.”
 You pulled your chair to him, the legs scraping loudly against the floor. “Here, let me see,” You offered, gently taking his arm into your hands.
 “I’m a physical therapist,” You said softly, as if to explain your actions. Joel tried to ignore the smell of your perfume, and the soft tingles your feather-light grip left in it’s wake as you gently stretched his shoulder.
 You pulled your hands away, and Joel’s arm suddenly felt very cold, goosebumps raising on his skin.
 “Is that better?” You asked with a lopsided grin.
 Joel nodded, eyes studying your face now that he was closer to you. He traced your nose with your eyes, zeroing in on the slight tint on your cheeks and the way your eyelashes fluttered as you blinked. How your lips turned as you smiled, and how the faint beginnings of crows feet settled into the corners of your eyes.
 Without thinking, he kissed you. It was all too much for him; the floral smells, the proximity, the domesticated actions. It gave him a sense of warmth, drawing something deep within him that longed for someone to share life with. The feeling of home that your presence gave him.
 You kissed back, as if you were waiting patiently this whole time for him to make a move. Your lips melded into his, becoming whole as his tongue moved along yours, muscles twisting and melting into each other. When you pulled away you gazed at him with wide eyes, face heating into a rosy bloom and lips dewy and parted.
 No words left either of you as you led him up the stairs, steps creaking under your feet, and the absent minded thought crossed Joel’s brain that he’d have to come back and fix those steps for you.
 He lost all train of thought, though, when the two of you entered your bedroom. Clothes were tossed lazily onto the floor as you stripped each other, shirts and pants being discarded haphazardly until you both stood in your underwear, bodies tangling.
 Joel laid you softly onto the cotton of your comforter, your head resting against the pattern of bluebonnets on your pillowcases. The air between you held so much raw animosity, such a strong difference from the homey aura you’d created down stairs. Your eyes were wild, waiting for him to decide what he wanted to do you first.
 His breath fanned your skin, hairs raising as he undid your bra, settling between your parted thighs as he gently took one pebbled bud into his mouth, his stubble creating small red marks on your breast in his wake. A light sound escaped you, airy and desperate. His fingers found your other nipple, twisting as he worked.
 He could feel the warmth radiating off your cunt, feel it clenching around his thigh as he pressed his leg against your panties, rubbing slightly to create a delicious friction that had you whispering his name.
 He couldn’t hide his smile at the sounds you were making. He inched himself lower, unlatching from your nipple as he peppered kisses down your stomach to your navel, stopping as he reached the band of your lacy underwear. He traced the fabric, fingers hooking into them as he pulled them down your thighs, calloused pads tracing shapes into the plushness of your thigh.
 You mumbled his name again, and Joel caught your gaze, eyes clouded with hazy lust. “You’ve been treating me so well, baby,” He said wantonly, “Now let me pay ya back.”
 He entered one finger into you, wetness coating him as your gummy walls sucked him in. It didn’t take long until you were ready for another, and as he entered a second digit he pressed a chaste kiss to your clit, sucking it gingerly. A high pitched whine left your lips, and Joel couldn’t resist as he grinned into your pussy.
 He loved the sounds you were making. They sounded like music to his ears, clouding his mind with a foggy lust that kept him on a single-minded train of thought. “Those noises all for me, baby?” He questioned, keen smile still on his lips as he watched you writhe beneath him.
 He watched you nod, mouth coming to form words that died in your throat as he hit a special spot inside of you, your eyes glazing over as you started bucking against his hand, holding his fingers in a vice grip as you came around them.
 “Please, Joel,” You breathed out after you recovered from your winded state. Your dainty fingers found the band of his boxers, curling around it as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.
 “I wanna hear ya say it,” He teased, watching as your eyes glanced uncertainly between him and his tented underwear.
 You hesitated for a moment before the words tumbled between your swollen lips. “Please fuck me, Joel.”
 Joel groaned as he lewd sounds left your mouth, nudging your hands aside to replace them with his own, quickly working himself out of his boxers. The simple way you said his name was enough to get him worked up.
 He palmed himself, running his hand over his cock to stroke himself skillfully, a drop of precum leaking from the fat tip. He pulled you closer to him by your hips, leaving prints that would be sure to mark you come tomorrow. He dragged his length through your folds, collecting the sloppy wetness that had accumulated.
 He began to push in, slowly, giving you time to adjust. You braced yourself, in turn your cunt began clenching around him, the tightness making it nearly impossible for him to continue to enter you.
 “You’ve gotta relax, baby,” He cooed gently, his thumb releasing pressure to rub tight circles around the jutted bone of your hip. You melted into his pleasant touch, relaxing just as he asked. He pushed himself further into you, your warm walls stretching around him. “That’s it. Good girl.”
 He continued to rub those soothing circles into your skin as he pressed himself into you, hips meeting as he reached the hilt. You let out a shaky breath, the pain of being spread soon turning to a dull pleasure.
 “Move, please,” You begged, and Joel was sure to give in right away, hips rolling indulgently against yours as you let out sounds of satisfaction. Your noises spurred him on further, and his gentle rolls soon turned into harsher snaps, heavy balls making sinful slaps against your bare skin.
 “Joel!” You exclaimed lewdly at his rougher actions, his thumb coming to brush your clit as you squeezed him, pleasure coursing through your veins.
 “So well, baby,” He murmured, barely being heard over the sound of skin on skin. “You’re takin’ me so well.”
 He changed his angle into one that mimic his fingers earlier, finding that spot inside you that had you cursing and clenching around him, eyes lolling back into your head as you squeezed your eyes shut, high over taking you. You felt as though you were in the clouds, wild blue sky washing you in it’s waves.
 Seeing you come undone from his actions fed Joel into his own orgasm, rutting into you tirelessly until he felt as though he was about to snap. He pulled out quickly, thick ropes of hot spend coating your stomach as he pumped himself.
 He barely caught his breath before he was grabbing tissues off of your bedside table and wiping up the mess he had made. Only after you were cleaned up did he allow himself to collapse beside you, thick arms pulling you to rest against his bare chest.
 “It wasn’t Sarah’s idea,” He confessed after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “I wanted to make ya dinner.
 “I know,” You replied, voice soft as he felt you smile against his skin.
 “I think i wanna make ya dinner again,” He spoke again, and you lifted yourself up to face him. His deep eyes stared back into your own, the corners crinkling as a grin spread across his face. It was warm, and sweet, like thick honey on a summer day.
 “If it means i can repay you the way you just repaid me, then i’m all for it.”
 You let out an airy laugh as Joel pulled you in for a soft kiss.
 “If it means I can be close to you like this,” He said fondly, “Then i’ll have to start cookin’ for ya more often.”
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gay-dorito-dust · 16 days
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Damian thinking he can cure depression and all of your negative mindsets by letting you cuddle and hug Bat-Cow.
He’d personally drag you all the way to the barn and then promptly point towards the half-awake cow lounging in the farthest corner and with the straightest face he says;
‘Hug the cow y/n.’
You’re confused, you’re depressed and have told him so in confidence, and here he was demanding that you cuddle up to the bovine, who was staring at you both with their dark eyes.
‘Why?’ You’d ask, eyes never leaving the cow and Damian sighs impatiently. ‘It’ll cure your current aliment of depression.’ He says with such certainty that you almost believed him for a minute…almost.
‘Damian this is stupid, even for you-‘ however before you could finish your sentence, Damian was already pushing you from behind towards Bat-Cow, who only watched as you were positioned into their warm side, silently chewing before becoming disinterested and went back to resting their head on the floor.
Bat-cow didn’t smell the greatest but then again…they were a fucking cow but they were warm and fluffy and comfortable, so much so that you ended up cuddling further into them found yourself falling asleep almost instantaneously with a small smile on your lips. ‘Good Bat-Cow…’ you murmur sleepily as the bovine only huffs out hot air, unfazed at you cuddling them as everyone from Damian to even Jason had come once in a while to cuddle up into their side.
Damian made a satisfied noise and was about to leave when he noticed that there was a space big enough for him to slot himself against Bat-Cow also. He shifts he gazed all across the entire barn, making sure he wasn’t being observed somehow, before cuddling himself into the side of the large animal.
Damian wouldn’t find out until way later that he was indeed being observed as he chased after Tim throughout the manor, sword in hand.
Jason who loves to cuddle you as though it’s been forever since you last saw each other.
(It had been five minutes max, you needed to piss.)
He’d even make it his personal mission to carry you in his arms anywhere and everywhere he went in the apartment. He will not hear the cliche ‘I’m too heavy’ bullshit excuse, let him carry you in his arms damn it! He wants to hold you! Do not reject him this golden opportunity!
He doesn’t care if anyone like Bruce, Dick or Roy are present because if anything it shows them that he had someone in his life that he loved and adored more than anything. Roy/Dick -mainly Dick- may tease him to high heavens about it but Jason only shrugs it off and says albeit childishly: ‘well at least I have someone to hold onto every night unlike you dickhead.’ Before casually carrying you into the kitchen with him to grab a drink.
(Remember that ‘Gator needs his gat, you punk ass bitch.’ tiktok Trend where ppl picks up their friend? Yh that’s what goes on in my head when writing this.)
Jason fears as though he’s not spending enough time with you. Which is bullshit because this man spends every waking moment with you being cute and loving and just the absolute best in general.
He’s not use to the whole relationship thing and he’s overthinking everything he’s doing and worries that it might be the breaking limit for you. So all you got to do is hold his face in your hands, rest your head against his own and reassure him that he was spending more than enough time with you. It’ll probably won’t get rid of the notion that he wasn’t doing enough for you out of Jason’s head, but at least it was something that he could be reminded of when he was getting too lost in his thoughts.
He’s a worrywart and a big one at that, but as long as you keep being his anchor, keep being the reason his head feels a lot clearer and so on, then Jason will gradually come to learn that he never needs to worry about anything when you’re more than happy to keep reminding him that it’s okay to worry, and that he wasn’t being suffocating or otherwise.
Jason maybe physically imposing and intimidating to look at for some people but to you, he was like those badly stereotyped big dogs that are the biggest sweethearts. Dogs such as:
Rottweilers
XL bully dogs
Pit bull
Doberman Pinscher and more.
He’s a sweetheart who just looks intimidating, nothing more nothing less…unless you happen to be a criminal then Jason is anything but the word sweet or adorable as they’re getting their asses beaten.💀
Dick always asks you if you still love him after every minor inconvenience.
It doesn’t matter what happens or how it happens, he always give you those puppy dog eyes of his and pouts his lips. ‘Do you still love me?’
‘Dick we’ve been through this before, of course I love you.’ You’d reply.
‘But you looked really annoyed right now and I just wanted to know if you still like me enough to date me.’ He then says as he rests his head on your shoulder, pressing himself against your back.
You sighed before looking over at him and pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. ‘Does that clear everything up for you?’ You asked rhetorically as Dick beamed brightly and stole a kiss from your lips, reinvigorated. ‘Yep.’ He’d respond before moving on with the rest of his day.
If you were to accidentally forget to kiss him good morning or before you were leaving for work, Dick would take full offence as he places himself in front of the door, arms crossed and lips formed into that pout you were more then familiar with at this point. ‘You hate me.’
‘Dick I’m in a hurry!’ You cry, looking at the time.
‘And you forgot my good morning kisses!’ He’d cry back at you and you would be several minutes late to work, all because you were making up for the misses kisses. You hate Dick sometimes but you knew you couldn’t be mad at him for long when he’d smother in kisses upon arriving him from work, so you guessed he could be given a pass…just this once.
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agi-ppangx · 1 month
Text
side quest (lee minho x gn!reader)
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fluff, no warnings, shy mimo !!!
an: based on this lovely request !! i had so much fun writing this and i really like how it turned out, so i hope you'll enjoy it as well<3 please remember that feedback and reblogs are highly appreciated🫶🏽
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“excuse me? hi,” you heard someone’s voice behind you as you were collecting your stuff from the desk. when you looked over your shoulder you noticed a guy from your classes who sat in the back row and always did great at exams. you smiled shyly with rosy cheeks and tilted your head a bit in a silent question. 
“hi?” you responded hesitantly, desperately trying to remember his name. It was something starting with an m maybe…?
“i’m minho, we haven’t really spoken but um…” he said quietly, fidgeting with his bracelet. minho, right. “i noticed the badges on your bag and i- i wanted to ask if you play that game?” he finally mumbled, looking at you. you noticed his ears were as red as a tomato and it actually made your heart beat a bit faster - he was just too cute like that. 
“oh, um- yeah, i do,” you said, glancing at your bag with a smile. “i’m not that good, though. i mostly play for the vibes, y’know, there’s not really anyone who could teach me all of those complicated strategies and stuff,” you huffed, lowering your head, and you didn’t notice as minho’s face lit up with hope at your words. his eyes sparkled as he watched you carefully adjust one of the badges and it made him a bit bolder to speak up again. 
“maybe we could play together sometimes? i could teach you some things,” he suggested and it made you smile wider than before. you raised your head, looking minho in the eyes and it made him a little flustered, but he couldn’t give up now. not when he finally spoke to you, after so many times when he saw you in class and wished you would notice his curious gaze whenever you would adjust your badges as usual. minho thought this subtle habit of yours was oddly heartwarming, the way you always took care of them made him wonder if you would also take care of someone the same way. 
“sure, i’d love that,” you said with a huge grin and minho finally felt like he could breathe again. he exhaled loudly, earning a soft giggle from you. 
“can i maybe have your number, then?” he asked shyly, handing you his phone, and you smirked. 
“be careful, because i'm about to think that the game was just a cover to get my number,” you giggled again, getting bolder, and you typed your number quickly as his eyes widened. 
“no! no, i- you just seem really cool and we play the same game and-” he started rambling in pure panic, so you playfully rolled your eyes and placed a tiniest peck on his cheek to make him stop overthinking your joke. you could see his mind go haywire and it actually made your heart ache a little, because you didn’t want the poor boy to get upset. 
“don’t worry, i wouldn’t mind anyway. i’ll wait for a text from you then, yeah?” you asked with a smile and minho could only nod, too shocked to comprehend the entire situation. you waved at him and walked away, leaving minho with a pounding heart and burning cheeks. 
you flirting with him was something he didn’t even dare to think would happen, but he kind of hoped it could lead to something more. it became like a side quest for him and minho was more than happy to devote himself to it if the winning prize would be your heart.
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taglist !
@lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01 @hannahhbahng @prettymiye0n @ggsez31 @laylasbunbunny @like-a-diamondinthesky @axel-skz @kittymaryam-thebrowniefairy @l3visbby @skzhoes @minhosbitterriver @astraystayyh @xichien @linospuddin
746 notes · View notes
wowconradfisher · 10 months
Text
all of the girls you’ve loved before
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pairing: min ho x reader
genre: slight angst, best friends to lovers, they are both so dense to each others feelings..
summary: being best friends with KISS’s resident “heart throb” is not for the weak. falling in love with him isn’t either, so what happens when the line between best friend and boyfriend becomes too blurred?
a/n: hi hello i am back from the dead. i’m convinced this acc is just gonna be a jenny han-iverse fic acc bc if not conrad then i’m writing about min ho. i have ended school so i hope i am more consistent with writing! feel free to send in requests + questions btw :D i hope u guys enjoy this silly fic that is also based off a taylor swift song hence the title!
Sitting outside of your best friend’s party that he throws every year was not something you thought you would be doing. You were convinced that this time was going to be different, and maybe just because you were seeing Min Ho in a different light, he would see you too. Here you still were, all dolled up but with no guts to walk into the party. You sighed, thinking about how pathetic you might be looking at the moment to anyone walking by. It was annoying in your opinion, just a month ago you couldn’t stand the thought of being with your best friend but now you’re starting to second guess and think more about the times you’ve spent together.
It was about 2 weeks ago when you and Min Ho, well more so you, started kind of overthinking the things you two would do together. You used to think that it was just regular best friend things you did, like talking about your past lovers and flings, laughing about all of the late nights you both have spent on your own having lame fights on the phone. But then you start thinking about the other nights, sneaking out past curfew and holding onto each other's hands in hopes of not getting caught. Or the way he would treat you the way he would never treat anyone else, allowing you to see his softer side, doing silly things like letting you do his skin care after he knows you’ve been crying in his bathroom about some dude that said “loved you” not knowing how carelessly he’s throwing out the words that mean so much to you. You see yourself doing the regular “best friend duties” like never saying bye to each other because you know you’ll be seeing each other again anyways, but you know it shouldn’t bother you when you see the new transfer student Madison write your best friend’s name in a heart all over her assignment. 
You shook yourself out of your daze and stood up, you knew it was wrong for you to be feeling this way about your best friend and there was no reason for you to start feeling this way now. Looking at your phone’s reflection to fix up your makeup, you took a deep breath and confidently made your way to the venue. Walking in and seeing a bunch of lights and loud music was expected, but tonight your goal was to forget about how you felt and let the universe tell you what to do. 
“Excuse me ma’am who let you out looking so good?” a voice spoke from behind you while tapping you on the shoulder.
You turned around and to your surprise it was one of your other close friends, “Q oh my gosh I haven’t seen you in like a week!” you exclaimed while pulling him into a hug, not failing to notice Florian behind him. Once you pulled away you waved at the other male who signaled to his flask, basically asking you if you wanted a shot. You grinned and suddenly all of your prayers had been answered and your night had begun. 
If you were being honest, you knew you weren’t a light weight. You always thought of yourself as someone who could just drink enough to not be a heavy weight and be at the perfect level of tipsy where you can feel the buzz. This is the point where you had to go out to the dance floor because of how free it made you feel, not a single care or worry in the world. That was until you felt someone tapping on your shoulder. You turned around to see a guy, a random one you have never seen before around KISS. You could admit he was a bit attractive but not as attractive as Min Ho. 
Looking up at the stranger you let out a forced smile, “Hi?” you spoke, but sounded more like a question
“Couldn’t help but notice a pretty girl dancing all by herself, you looking for someone to dance with?” the guy asked as he tried to put his hand on your waist. 
You backed away before you suddenly felt someone behind you put their hand around your waist, “Baby I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” a boy spoke with an accent you could recognize anywhere. Looking up, you let out a soft genuine smile at the sight of your best friend. 
Min Ho cleared his throat and saw the guy was still there, “Hey man I don’t know if you noticed but she’s my girl, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t hit on her,” 
The guy furrowed his brows at Min Ho before quickly realizing who he was, “Oh shit sorry man I didn’t know,” he quickly muttered out
“You’re lucky I didn’t have you kicked out. Now leave us alone, yeah?” Min Ho replied, shooing the other guy away. 
Once the guy was gone, Min Ho held onto your hand and led you to a more secluded area away from the party. He looked at you and caressed your cheek, “You okay Y/N?” he spoke softly
You looked up at your best friend and took in the way he looked at you. The way he looked at you made you feel so delicate, like you were the only person that mattered to him. You broke out of your daze and just nodded at him, “Thank you Min, I think it’s time for me to head out now though,” You spoke
Min Ho frowned, but it looked more like a pout to you, “But I just found you,” he spoke, “and we didn’t even get to dance yet,” 
You took his hand that was on your cheek and held it, “I know, I’m sorry I’m just not in the mood for it anymore,” you replied softly 
After hearing your response, it was like something in Min Ho clicked, causing him to hold your hand again, “Okay, let’s go then,” he spoke like it was no big deal
“Let’s go? What do you mean? Like you’re gonna just ditch your party?” You asked in disbelief
He nodded, “Uh yeah duh? Why would I stay at a party that my best friend doesn’t even want to be at?” 
There was that word again, it just keeps dangling over you and taunting you everytime you think you guys could be something more than just friends. Hearing his response just made you let out a small smile. Him pretending to be your boyfriend just lets you have a glimpse of what you weren’t but what you could be, truly it does break your heart but what can you really do about it.  After that night, he just dropped you off back at your dorms, you didn’t even have the energy to invite him in like how you guys usually do. It did feel awkward just leaving him but you needed this. Your heart needed it. 
You did feel bad for ghosting everyone. It had been a week since the party and you needed to shut down and take time for yourself to really think about what you wanted to do about your feelings for Min Ho. After being by yourself for a week and doing your work online, you felt like you really did learn a lot about yourself, and that in order to get over your feelings for your best friend, you had to accept that you had those feelings in the first place. 
During this week of you ghosting everyone, you weren’t the only one in question about their emotions. Min Ho to say the least has been snappier than ever to everyone. Most times, whenever you were around he would be at his nicest, you were someone who humbled him and brought him back to Earth but without you? He truly was something and someone you did not want to cross. The boy is a mess, he doesn’t know how long ago you guys haven’t talked for this long. Even if it was just a week, it felt like years. One thing Min Ho will do for you but never admit or do for anyone else is giving you space.
If he’s being honest with himself, he tried so incredibly hard not to fall for you or do anything that can potentially jeopardize his relationship with you but the moment he saw you at his party looking the way you did dancing on the dance floor, he knew he was done for. That’s why the whole week he has been so upset with himself for doing what he did that night, for calling you baby, for pretending to be your boyfriend, all of it, because now you weren’t even talking to him. It wasn’t until you texted him asking if he could come over where he finally felt the feeling of anxiousness leave his body.
Min Ho was standing at your door with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, debating on when to knock. That was until you beat him to it and just opened the door after hearing his shuffling from behind the door. Genuinely you were surprised, you didn't expect him to show up so fast, and with your favorite flowers too?
"Hi Min," you spoke with a smile before opening your door to let him in, "Come in please, you've been here countless of times so don't get shy on me now,"
He chuckled, taking off his shoes before stepping into your dorm, placing them among your other shoes and then following you to your room. Before sitting down, he handed you the flowers, "Here Y/N, I got you your favorites,"
"What's the occasion Min?" you asked taking the flowers and admiring them before placing them on your lap
"I just missed you that's all," he replied before sitting down next to you
You cleared your throat and started fiddling with your hands, "Min Ho I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while," you spoke, "But if I'm honest I want to say I'm sorry for ghosting you for a week, I just needed time to figure out what I was feeling,"
Min Ho grabbed onto your hands and held them, preventing you from fiddling with your hands and causing you to look up at him, "It's okay Y/N, you know I would give you all the time in the world," he replied
Staring into his eyes, you knew you had to say it now or else you would never want to say it, "Min Ho, I'm in love with you," you said feeling so much lighter with that confession alone, "I think I always have been, but I wanted to be sure of it before I told you. I don't know when it exactly happened, but at one point the lines between being my best friend and wanting something more with you started to blur. So please tell me now if I'm just overthinking this whole thing and maybe I'm the only one who feels this way but-" you spoke before Min Ho leaned in to kiss you.
Your eyes widened in shock for a second before you closed your eyes finally kissing him back, melting into his touch and putting your hand onto his chest. If you could describe what the best thing that has happened to you, it would be this moment alone. The way your lips moved together in perfect synchronization, like you were both made for each other. Truly it could not compare to anything you've ever felt before.
Once you both pulled away, your forehead rested against Min Ho's, "You drive me crazy Y/N, I never even thought I had a chance with you but I'm so thankful all of our past romances led me here to you," he spoke
You smiled at his response, "So does that mean you love me too?"
"I love you more than words can describe, I mean I can show you in actions too?" He replied with a smirk
"Min Ho!" you gasped, playfully hitting his shoulder
He laughed at your reaction, "I'm kidding! I mean unless you were serious?"
You rolled your eyes playfully at the boy you were thankful to be in love with. At least this time you were sure this would be real.
2K notes · View notes
arquiiva · 11 months
Note
Can you please make a bill smut fic , like make it about him getting jealous or whatever you want I’m just so desperate 😭😭
B. KAULITZ x READER
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synopsis; after rumours are swirling that your friend (with benefits) bill had been seeing some girl behind everyone’s backs, you decide to give him a taste of his own medicine.
warnings; smut, jealousy, oral (f recieving), fingering, cursing, afab reader, mentions of kissing, graphic, not proofread, time skips, mentions of clubs and revealing outfits
authors note; hey cuties !! this was rushed af i apologise and also not proofread 😭😭 but i really wanted to write something for bill!! make sure to send me more requests!! ♥︎
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Everything was perfect. Nobody knew you were both having hookups left, right and centre. Nobody knew of the feelings you both secretly had for eachother. Nobody knew anything.
But you knew. You knew that all those meaningless hookups had led to something so much more. At least, to you they did. You could only hope Bill felt the same way. You knew that all those things he said to you after sex wasn’t just the heat of the moment, you knew that the stolen glances weren’t just hints at sex, and you knew that you were the only person he was seeing.
But in truth, you didn’t really know anything. You didn’t know whether he was just saying those things to get you to keep having sex with him, you didn’t know if you were just overthinking it and they were just hints, and you didn’t know that you were the only person he was seeing.
When you watched one of his interviews and he mentioned a girl he was involved with, you were over the moon. You knew it. He felt something for you! All those sweet things he’d whisper in your ear, they were real!
You were overjoyed.
Or, you were until the interviewer asked if it was in relation to a picture the paparazzi had caught. That picture showed Bill and a girl kissing outside of a restaurant. That girl was not you.
And judging by the flustered look on Bill’s face, the girl he had feelings for was her. Not you.
You couldn’t believe it. How dare he do this to you? To her? Does she know he’s sleeping with another girl constantly? Questions like these were running through your head, but you had no answers to any.
Maybe you were wrong about knowing that. But you did know one thing for sure. He was going to fucking work for you.
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A week later, the band invited you to a club. This was common, you were close with the band and mostly whenever they went out, you were there in the background.
At first, you were going to decline due to your terrible mood, but then you remembered your promise to yourself.
You were going to be a fucking powerful bitch, that people know she’s hot. Hashtag fucking feminism.
So you took extra care making sure you looked perfect. You did your hair all nice, wore a sexy outfit that left little to the imagination, and used your most expensive makeup.
You were gonna have sex tonight. Not with Bill (although, you wanted to) but with someone else. But Bill was going to know you were gonna have sex with someone, you were gonna make sure of it.
Hearing an obnoxious honk outside signifying the band, you nervously sighed and grabbed your keys and jacket from by the door. At the car, you noticed like always, Bill had sat in the back so he could be with you.
Granted, Gustav was in the back too, but he’d be on the other side of Bill.
You sighed, and got in. It’s go time, bitches. You smiled and greeted everybody in the car, and immediately Bill’s hand was on your thigh.
He discreetly leaned forward and whispered in your ear, “You look beautiful.”
You had to remind yourself that this was probably re-used compliments he gives his ‘girlfriend’. You just turned to him with a purse-lipped smile and said, “Thank you.”
Bills eyebrows furrowed for a second. Normally, you’d respond just with a flustered smile or something seductive. He decided to brush it off, and his thumb rubbed gently on your thigh as he spoke with Tom who was driving.
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At the club, everyone immediately went for a booth to start getting tipsy before they even glance at the dance floor.
Tom was moody as he was the designated driver and had to watch his drinking, which was extremely unlike him, and Bill kept glancing at you and your outfit.
You were downing drink after drink, knowing you’d have to be drunk to sleep with someone else other than Bill, in front of Bill.
After a while, Bill asked, “Wanna dance?”
You put down the glass you’d just emptied, and nodded. No going back now.
You both got up, and as Bill’s hand went to wrap around your waist as you got further into the crowd and away from the band, you quickly walked away. You managed to see the confused, and offended look on his face.
You bit your lip as you spotted a handsome guy who was eyeing you up, and tried to walk over as confidently as possible.
“Hey, you wanna dance?” You asked sweetly.
“Mm,” the guy spoke, taking a last gulp from whatever he was drinking and standing up. “Sure.”
You smiled and took his hand, leading you back to where Bill was previously, gritting your teeth when you saw him speaking with some random girl.
You stopped just a bit away from him, and turned to the guy you dragged over. You wrapped your arms around his neck, almost grimacing as his wrapped around your waist.
“So, what’s your name?” You asked, keeping a close eye on Bill. He hadn’t seen you yet.
“Alex. You?” He smirked.
You just smiled and leant forward to lightly kiss his neck. You smirked as you felt the guy tense, thinking it was from your actions. But you grew confused as he slightly pulled you off.
“What is it? Did you not like it or something? I’m sorry—” You began, mentally cursing yourself for being so desperate to make Bill jealous, you practically just assaulted some dude.
“No, no it was nice— it’s just.. that guy over there, he won’t stop staring. At you. Can we move somewhere else?”
You frowned and turned to see Bill glaring at you both, his knuckles white from gripping his drink. He wasn’t even listening to the girl in front of him.
You held eye contact for a good few seconds, before an idea came to you.
You turned back to Alex, and wrapped your arms back around him, resuming your previous position.
“Who cares? You’re the one with me, not him.” You whispered, leaning in and brushing your lips against his. You felt him smile and pull you in for a deep kiss.
Everything was going great until a hand on your shoulder pulled you back, and a cracking sound was heard. You gasped as you saw Alex fall to the ground, gasps sounding from the crowd.
Bill had punched him.
Well, not exactly the plan, but it’ll do.
Bill gripped your wrist and dragged you to some back exit of the club, and shoved you against a brick wall.
“You think you’re cute?” He sneered at you.
You just smiled. “What’s the problem?”
He breathed out a disbelieving laugh. “You know full well what the problem is, ____.”
“What? It’s not like we’re in a relationship or anything.” Sober you would gasp at your boldness.
He just stared at you before smirking. “You’re right.” He brushed his thumb along your bottom lip. “But it was me who kissed these first.”
He leant forward and his lips teased the corner of your mouth.
All your sudden confidence melted away as your eyes fluttered shut, waiting for the feeling of his lips on yours. Nothing.
You opened your eyes to see Bill moving back with a shit-eating grin on his face. “See you later, ____.”
He went back through the door, and the loud music inside seeped out for a second, before becoming muffled again.
You sighed and rubbed your temples. “Fuck.”
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It was the next day. You had a really bad hangover and literally could not feel your feet. Damn heels.
You could only remember the basics of the previous night, like, meeting some dude you’d forgotten the name of, Bill taking you outside, going inside, sitting in the front of the car on the way back, and you having a breakdown in your bathroom after throwing up.
Powerful bitch my ass.
You didn’t know what to do. You should’ve told Bill he had no right to pull you away from that guy when he had a girlfriend he didn’t tell you about. You should’ve gotten angry at him, but you didn’t. You just stood there and let him win.
You were furious with yourself.
That fury lasted all the way into the night. You were sat with an everlasting frown on your face watching something on the TV, nothing important.
Suddenly, a knock came from your door.
You groaned quietly and rose from your comfortable position, dragging yourself to the door and opening it. Your frown was replaced by surprise when you saw Bill.
“Bill? What are you doing here?”
He glanced behind you before walking past you and into your hallway.
You rolled your eyes. “Come in.”
You closed the door and turned to see him staring at you. “So? Did you need something? Leave something here, underwear maybe? What?”
He sighed and stepped closer to you. “Stop talking.”
“What? What the fu—”
You were interrupted when you felt his lips smash onto yours, his hands gripping your waist and pushing you against your front door. He groaned into the kiss when he felt you kiss him back.
He mumbled, “Jump,” into the kiss, which you did. He carried you by your thighs up the stairs. There was a mix of laughing and moaning into the kiss as you both stumbled and brushed up against eachother.
When you finally reached your bedroom after what seemed like years, he set you down and began to kiss down your jawline and neck.
Although it felt so good, so good, you quickly realised the situation. You gently pushed Bill away, and almost felt bad at seeing his hurt expression. “I can’t do this.”
“Why not? You’ve had no problem before.” He mumbled.
“I know, but…”
“But what?”
“That was before I knew you were seeing someone!”
Everything went silent after that. Bills brows furrowed in what seemed like confusion.
“Seeing someone? I’m not.. what?”
Now it was your turn to be confused. You both sat up, him now sat in front of you.
“Your interview… it showed you and some girl kissing… you didn’t deny it.” You spoke unsurely.
He seemed to contemplate what you were saying but then his face softened. Then a grin overtook his face, followed by laughter.
You frowned, feeling embarrassed. “What?”
“Nothing, I’m sorry—” he was interrupted by his own laughter.
“Bill, I’m serious!”
His laughter died down and he was left with just a small smile.
“____, how much of the interview did you watch?”
You hesitated, before replying, “After that, I turned it off. Why?”
“Well, if you’d continued to watch, you’d see me talking about how that was an old photo with my ex. You know, the one I used to complain to you about?”
A look of realisation overtook your features, Bill laughing again.
You groaned in humiliation and lay back down.
Bills laughter stopped and he slowly climbed back on top of you. He leaned in closer and gently nibbled at your ear.
“I only have eyes for you.”
Your heart melted and you gently pulled him from your ear to kiss him deeply.
The kiss was passionate, soft, loving. You both started to slowly shrug your clothes off, leaving you both in just underwear.
Usually, it would be different. It would be rough, and full of lust. Not that you hated it, but you definitely liked this too.
He started leaving hickeys down your neck as his fingers inched closer to your panties.
“Bill,” You whined. “Need more.”
It was sort of embarrassing how fast you let up and let him take control, once again.
“Mm, you do? I know.”
If it weren’t for his fingers dipping into your panties, you would’ve rolled your eyes and given a snarky remark.
You gasped as his index finger moved up your slit, gathering your wetness. You watched intently as his hand slipped out of your panties and he licked his fingers.
“Fucking delicious. Can I taste you, sweetie?” He sweetly asked. Your eyes nearly rolled back at his words, nodding.
He breathed out a chuckle as his teeth took down your panties, agonisingly slowly.
You groaned when he kissed and sucked up your thighs. “Bill. Don’t tease.. just— just do someth—”
Suddenly, his tongue flattened against your pussy. You gasped and your hands swiftly went down to grasp his hair.
He gripped your thighs and put them over his shoulders, licking up your slit multiple times, letting out small hums of approval. You threw your head back and closed your eyes, focusing on the pleasure.
His fingers came back up and prodded at your entrance as his tongue circulated your clit. They slowly, slowly, entered you. You moaned and tightened your grip on his dark hair.
“Mm, shit..”
You felt him smirk against your clit, his fingers thrusting in and out slowly.
“Yes, yes, oh.. feels s’good. Mm, keep going…”
As his tongue continued to work on your clit, his fingers sped up.
Your brows furrowed as you grinded against his face. “M’gonna cum, yes—”
Your orgasm slipped away as he pulled away, licking his fingers and smirking. You whined in protest, scoffing at his pleased expression.
He stood up momentarily to pull down his boxers, quickly climbing back onto the bed and rubbing his tip up and down your slit.
Already pissed about him edging you, you grunted, “Bill, oh my fucking god, if you don’t do something I’ll cut off your—”
You were cut off by your own moan as he thrust himself into you swiftly.
He leant down and captured your lips in a desperate kiss, already thrusting into you at a quick pace.
You whimpered into the kiss and wrapped your legs around his waist. His arm was beside your head supporting his weight, and his other hand reached and held yours, whilst gripping the sheets also.
“Oh my god, that’s it, just like that..”
“You like that?” He grunted, kissing along your collarbone. He let out a strangled groan as you clenched down on him.
Your orgasm was hurtling towards you. You didn’t even have time to warn him before you came hard on his cock.
He moaned in your ear as his thrusts became sloppy.
“Oh- oh- yeah, like that baby, feel so good on me—”
His head collapsed into the pillow beside your head as he came in you, his thrusts slowing before stopping completely.
For a while, you both lay there. Covered in a thin layer of sweat and panting. He slowly pulled out of your spent pussy and lay beside you.
“I think I need a bath.” You panted.
He chuckled and pulled you into him, your head in his chest. “We’ll get one in a sec.”
He went quiet for a second as he played with your hair.
“I want you to be my girlfriend.” He muttered. You sat up slightly and looked at him with surprise.
“What?”
“Be mine?” He asked, looking at you with desperation and, dare I say, love.
You smiled warmly at him and leant forward to kiss him.
Yeah, you knew it.
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anystalker707 · 6 months
Text
Healing
Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x [gender neutral] Reader Summary: Reader seems burnt out, so Sanji does his best to help his partner feel better Tags: Boyfriend material Sanji (the usual / lots of fluff a/n: i need him carnally
MASTERLIST
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          Sanji looked at the door of the galley the moment you walked in, blinking in curiosity as he observed you walk past him and right to the cabinets, all in feigned casualty. Once you closed the door to the cabinet, and he saw what you had in hand, Sanji rolled his eyes and grabbed you by the collar before you could walk away.
“Sanji…” You clicked your tongue, turning around with a sigh.
“No, no,” Sanji scoffed. “Go put it back, dear! I already told you not to eat those! I use them, and they’re hard to find!” He put his hands on his hips, brows low as he looked at you.
“But Sanji…” You recurred to pouting; it was not new that he would get soft way too easily when it came to you. “I need to munch on something! Anything!”
Sanji pointed to the cabinet, face unchanging. “Put it back, dear. Come on.”
A sigh escaped your lips as you put the jar back into the cabinet, then turned to him, still with a pout and also slumping a little now. “Why can’t I have it? No love for (y/n)? You don’t love me?” You pressed your lips together, shaking your head in disappointment.
“Quit being dramatic, you know I love you very much!” He cupped both of your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your forehead. He smiled softly, observing you for a solid minute. “What’s wrong, hm? I’ve seen you come in here a little too much today. That or the way you simply spent all day long in the quarters, like yesterday, with no in-between. What’s going on, sweetheart? I didn’t even see you work out or train for a while, and you seemed very hyped up about it.” His thumbs ran across both your cheeks, caressing them gently.
You frowned a little bit. Was it that noticeable? Maybe it wasn’t just something as pointless as you thought it’d be. The past few days had been a little too monotonous. Too long without any interesting island, summed up with the nonstop training after the last battle—which you lost terribly—, left you in that terrible state. It slowly crept in after you took the first proper break when Sanji asked you to help him in the kitchen one day.
“Don’t overthink,” Sanji said as if he could read your thoughts, playing lightly with your hair. “Just tell me, sweetheart.”
Those blue eyes looking into yours with so much worry and care… Your heart fluttered as you looked back at him for a second before averting your gaze away.
“I’m not sure,” you said with a soft sigh, wrapping your hands around his wrists and caressing them gently. “I’m kind of bored of everything. Tired, even if I’m barely doing anything. I mean, I did try to do something else, but…” You shrugged.
On the previous days, you’d helped Nami with organizing her maps and clothes and also hung out with Usopp to listen to his stories while watching him construct stuff. Luffy was showing you the beetles he’d found around the ship as well. Even with all the laughing and good time you’d spent with them, you still had the same feeling afterward. It all was so bland. You just felt the urge to do something different from the usual and to lie down all day long at the same time.
Sanji furrowed his eyebrows. “Sounds like you’re burnt out, dear. Do you think that’s it?”
Burnt out… It made sense, honestly. “Hm, maybe,” you mumbled in defeat.
“Okay, at least we already have an idea of what’s going on,” he said as he ran his fingers through your hair and kissed your cheek, pecking your lips after. “I’ll finish what I’m doing and be back in a second, okay?” He smiled before he walked away to finish the dishes he’d been preparing.
You took a seat at the dining table in the meantime, silently observing Sanji cook. Sanji was so pretty and also so caring… It made your heart flutter in your chest while your cheeks heated up. At the same time that you didn’t want to bother Sanji, you also liked it a lot when he took care of you, so you didn’t really argue. He put some platters in the fridge and others in the oven before he started cleaning everything. The only thing he neglected was drying the dishes to put them back into the cabinets, but it was for a good reason.
“I’m all yours now,” Sanji said as he took his apron off and hung it before walking over, offering you a hand. “Come on, let’s do something relaxing, my dear.”
For a moment, you observed his hand. Would his touch be overwhelming? It was a fact Sanji could be quite touchy, even more so if you already started by giving him the freedom to, hence you needed to take a moment to decide whether you wanted it. It’s not that Sanji didn’t know boundaries—he did, and he made sure to respect each one of them very so carefully—, but it was more about how hard it was to let Sanji know about them or push him away.
Holding back a sigh was difficult. You slowly slipped your hand in his and stood up, quietly following Sanji out of the galley. As much as holding his hand and being with him was nice, everything felt so bland.
The shadow cast over the back part of the upper deck, near the tangerine trees, so Sanji took you there. There was just an unending sea to be seen, so you weren’t exactly excited while leaning against the railing to observe it. Some clouds littered the sky, but not that many.
As you turned your head to the side to look for Sanji, he showed up right in front of you, pressing his lips to yours immediately. The kiss was sweet and very gentle; he was treating you as if you were made out of thin glass, placing a hand on your hip with a light touch and another on the railing as he held the kiss. Sanji pulled away only for a brief moment, kissing you once more right after. The position wasn’t the best, with your head to the side like that, but the kiss was so loving. It made you feel so loved.
Eventually, the kiss was over. Sanji’s arms wrapped around you in a hug from behind, settling themselves around your waist. He kissed your shoulder through your clothes, then rested his chin on it. His touch was so comforting.
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” His voice was soft next to your ear. “But I don’t think it’s as beautiful as you. Well, I don’t think anything is as beautiful as you.” And there he went with his cheesiness again, but you wouldn’t complain about it. As pathetic as it could be, it never failed to make you all fuzzy inside.
You hummed softly in response, leaning back against him.
“Sorry for neglecting you,” Sanji whispered. “Maybe if I’d given you more attention, this wouldn’t have gotten to this point.”
“It’s my fault,” you mumbled. “Maybe I pushed myself too much.” The way you’d been so immersed in your goals only became clear now, unfortunately, but trying to get it off your head never made you feel any lighter as it should’ve.
“If I had noticed, I’m sure things would’ve been different.” He sighed softly, hugging you tighter and burying his face into the crook of your neck. It tickled a little, but it was also so nice; you could barely hold back the smile that tugged on your lips. “But I’m helping you feel better, that’s for sure.” He kissed your shoulder again, slowly loosening his grip.
Your hand reached back to Sanji’s hair, stroking it lightly. “Don’t blame yourself!”
“But—”
“Sanji,” you groaned, making him click his tongue.
“Damn it,” he whispered with an air of playfulness in his sharp tone, making you chuckle.
“If you keep blaming yourself for every bad thing that happens to me, you’ll go crazy,” you said, turning your head to kiss the side of his face.
Only silence came from Sanji for a moment until he finally moved, kissing the side of your neck a couple of times. “Can’t help it,” he sighed and straightened his posture, but kept holding you. “Let’s talk about something else, though, pardon for bringing it up, my love.” He kissed your temple.
All the little touches were making you feel fuzzy. The worries you’d had about Sanji’s touches making you overwhelmed slowly faded away—you actually wanted to melt into his arms and spend the rest of the day there. He probably noticed how you felt, nuzzling your hair gently.
For a few minutes, Sanji let the silence hang between the two of you. He just held you there while the two of you observed the sea, getting lost in thoughts for a moment. Eventually, you snapped back to reality with a deep sigh, rolling your shoulders a little.
“Sanji,” you mumbled, “can we sit down or go somewhere else? My legs are kinda tired already.”
“Of course!” Sanji let go of you with a sigh. “Let me think about something else we can do, my dear.”
Sanji’s hand wrapped around yours, taking you with him as he walked down the stairs to the main deck again. He’d left you there for a moment before coming back with a blanket, which he extended over the ground, on a spot under the shadow, before he sat down. He set a pillow over his crossed legs.
You raised an eyebrow before lying down with your head on the pillow. “We could’ve done this inside,” you mumbled, looking up at him.
“Maybe.” Sanji shrugged. “But you’ve spent way too long in the quarters already. Breathe some fresh air. Do something different.” His fingers ran through your hair, sometimes gently massaging your scalp as he played with your strands. It was weirdly relaxing, even if you weren’t in the most comfortable place. Being with Sanji itself was comfortable.
You didn’t really know at what point it happened, but the next thing you knew was that you were waking up with Sanji gently tapping your shoulder. The afternoon sun seemed to be excusing itself already, giving place to the stars. The shade of blue that took over the sky was different from the one you remembered. For how long did you sleep?
“My love,” Sanji said softly, caressing your cheek. “I need to go get dinner ready. Do you want me to carry you back to the quarters?”
A soft groan escaped your lips as you stretched, your back aching a little from lying on the floor. “Can I help you with it?” You didn’t feel like leaving Sanji’s side just yet. Even if you couldn’t feel direct improvement in your burn-out state—at least yet—, being with Sanji felt so much better than anything else. You feared it’d all get even worse if you left him now.
Sanji smiled. “Of course. Get up so I can put these away.”
You felt a little light-headed when you stood up, groaning softly. Honestly, you could feel like you’d either have a headache or just be unable to sleep later on, but it wasn’t much different from what was going on the previous days. The fact Sanji was now helping you gave you some hope, though. Some comfort.
Sanji returned before you could notice, a hand on your lower back as he smiled softly and nodded to the galley, heading there with you.
At least, your mind was empty. There weren’t many thoughts bothering you now that you helped Sanji out with preparing the dinner—practically just assembling and heating up the stuff he’d started preparing earlier. All you focused on was getting everything done, making sure it was all perfect. You weren’t exactly inexperienced when it came to the kitchen; being around Sanji for so long did give you some practice that you could rely on.
A sense of pride and accomplishment took over you as you observed the table all set now. Sanji probably felt the same thing, but not only for the cooking. He wrapped an arm around your waist, enjoying the last few moments you had alone before dinner, and pressed his lips to yours softly.
“I’m here for you, okay?” He smiled.
.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.
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snakeautistic · 3 months
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Some of the most common advice you get when you express social anxiety is the following “don’t worry- no one will notice if you make a mistake (or they’ll forget it soon after) everyone is more focused on themselves.”
And this makes me so. Fucking. Annoyed. It is true that people probably won’t think much of/ forget a lone social faux pas made or awkward thing you did. But what they remember is patterns of behavior. So if you’re like me, unable to pick up on many social cues and prone to these same mistakes- people will make note of that. They will have an idea of you in their head as someone who is awkward, as simple as that.
Secondly the part about everyone being more focused on themselves. Obviously people can be pretty self-centered- I think that’s normal. And they’re probably insecure too. But we’re also social animals with social hierarchies. People pay attention to the behavior of those around them- maybe ESPECIALLY if they’re insecure, in fact. In order to see where they stand- whether they’re doing it, and whether the people around them are behaving correctly. Many of our societal norms and expectations are designed as a way to weed out people who either are unable to or choose not to follow them.
That’s not to say we don’t often distort the percieved perseptions of others. With an anxiety disorder, fear over been seen as ‘weird’ may lead to you behaving more abnormally than you would have initially. It might lead to you reading too much into the reactions of others. This is all very common and is of course the issue the above advice seeks to address- distortions of how your actions reflect on you socially. But that doesn’t change the fact that the advice that “no one cares what you do actually” is just… wrong, or highly flawed at the very least.
I personally have a very hard time benefiting from advice that I know isn’t entirely true. It’s also super dismissive of people who may actually be struggling socially- perhaps due to an underlying issue- (in my case, autism), if any time they notice “hey, I think I’m being judged” it’s chocked up to pure anxiety. Also, I feel firmly that it’s better to learn to be less bothered by negative perceptions than to believe they don’t exist at all. That way you don’t have to worry so much if you’re overthinking it or not- you just know not to be concerned in the first place. Obviously that is… much easier said than done. But I think it’s a better goal to have
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calcifiedunderland · 24 days
Text
Pride and Prejudice: A TWSTed AU
The Keeper of the Underworld: I. Shroud
Introduction, or Pick another route!
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Idia x GN Reader (they/them)
Warnings: P&P-level angst and miscommunication, some cringe dialogue, parties, possibly ooc Idia, I wrote this before playing Book 6 so I apologize if there’s any inconsistencies
Notes: The level of overthinking I put into these fics is unreal 💀 First and foremost, thank you all for your patience!! Idia was hard to write, but I hope you enjoy, shrimpies~
———
Well this is certainly something, you thought. Of all the things you’d witnessed at NRC, (even overblots), you didn’t think you’d ever see Idia Shroud at one of Kalim’s parties.
You sipped on your drink when a shock of bright blue flames came in the corner of your eye, contrasting the orange-red of Scarabia. Kalim lead Idia into the dorm, bright and sunny, compared to the look on Idia’s face. Poor guy couldn’t even escape, because Cater and Rook ambled in behind him, chatting happily.
It was like the beginning of a joke: A sultan, a card soldier, a huntsman, and a blue flame-headed gamer walk into a room.
Kalim spotted you and grinned, grabbing Idia’s hoodie sleeve and dragging him over too. “Hey (name)! I’m glad you could make it!”
You smiled at the Scarabia Housewarden, “Thanks Kalim! I-“ At that moment, Jamil reached him to drag him away, mumbling exasperatedly to Kalim about being careful. Kalim laughed Jamil off, “sorry (name)! I’ll see you later, okay?” “Alright then…” you trailed off and turned to Idia, who looked like a deer in headlights.
“So…” you rocked on your heels. To be honest, you didn’t know how to approach him sometimes. Sure, you’d gamed with him a few times (with heavy insistence from Ortho) and you weren’t on his ‘avoid at all costs’ ranking list, but Idia did have his odd moments. Some days, you two would get along like a house on fire. Other times, it was like Idia hated you - avoiding you even in tablet-mode, and ghosting your chats.
You’d like to think that your more friendly moments were the ones that Idia counted, but sometimes it was hard to get a read on the guy.
“I didn’t know that you’d be at Kalim’s party today. I thought Ortho said there was an event in… um…?” You finished, cringing at your vagueness. You might not have known much about the game he played, even though he’d made you play it when you came over to Ignihyde, but you knew he probably didn’t want to be here of all places.
Idia’s hair flared a bit, and he looked resigned and moody. He pulled out his tablet. Ya, the event dropped today but I got mobbed by kalim + the extroverts. “That sucks,” you said, “I got dragged here by Ace. Still, it’s nice to see you.” In the oil lamp lighting, you could’ve sworn Idia’s hair turned a bit pink.
You were both silent, and you opened your mouth to speak when Lilia yelled out from the front, “let’s get this party started!” Kalim started drumming wildly, and then electric guitar swelled. Lilia began screaming heavy-metal-style into the mic. Around you, everyone started dancing, and even you found yourself moving to the rhythm.
You glanced at Idia every now and again, but he looked vaguely annoyed and tired despite the liveliness. He looks so over it, you thought. Probably since Kalim maybe dragged him here. You looked around, biting your lip when you noticed your friends having a grand old time on the dance floor, and kind of wanted to go too. Still, it wasn’t every day you saw Idia, and you wanted to do something with him. Especially since he was… well, here.
“So, Idia…” Idia’s eyes snapped to yours, dull. You rocked back on your feet, “do you dance?” Idia rolled his eyes, and you felt your heart sink, for some reason. Obvi not, id probs distract everyone anyway. And also id just rather not if I can help it. Your smile wavered, “c’mon Idia, anyone can dance, even if it’s not good!” Idia typed rapidly into the tablet, i mean ur not wrong. Like literally anyone can dance but ppl only do it bc its wat normies do.
You opened your mouth, then squared your shoulders, words failing you. Idia shoved a hand into his pockets and opened an app on the tablet, scrolling. You swayed for a bit, feeling awkward while Idia kept his eyes glued to the screen, a frown creasing his brows. Finally you shrugged your shoulders, trying to shake that sinking-feeling off.
You stepped into the crowd of dancing people, swaying to the music and trying not to look over at the blue flames swaying in the corner. Unknowing to you, Idia glanced up from his tablet every few minutes, trying to catch a glimpse of you, before trudging back to the cold chrome of Ignihyde, back to his dorm.
———
Ugh, could this get any worse?
Idia flopped onto his bed, shoving his headphones on and opening the mobile game on his phone. Not only did he get a late start on the game event, but he flubbed a chance to talk to you. Even if you did want to dance like all the other non-introverts at Scarabia. Thank Sevens Ortho didn’t know he missed his chance, otherwise the little robot would’ve torn Idia apart.
Idia shut his eyes and went over the details. Doing this IRL was trash-tier. Why couldn’t this just be a good-old-fashioned otome game, or romance anime? First you meet the love interest, then you find things they’re into, then you talk to them more. Then finally you confess, and cue the outro. He’d watched countless shojo and romance anime’s, and that was the basic outline. Eventually, the ethereal, gorgeous, smart, kind protagonist (aka you) would fall in love with their love interest (aka him) and it would all work out. Boom. Happily ever after.
Ah, yes. He could see it now.
Cherry blossom petals rained around both of you. Where are they coming from, this campus doesn’t grow cherry blossoms? Whatever, don’t question it. Anyway, the petals fluttered past your beautiful, sparkling eyes as you stared up at Idia with adoration and love. Idia stared down at you with full-rizz, kabedoning you against the wall.
“Oh, Idia-senpai!” You’d cry, eyes turning into hearts as sparkles and pink flower petals surround you both. “You’re so cool and not cringe at all! I could never want one of those normies! You’re the only one for me! Please date me!” And then Ortho would set off the heart-shaped fireworks and you two would finally kiss-kiss-fall-in-love, just like the popular anime Our High School Has A Host Club And The Leader Falls In Love With Me?!
“Whee hee hee…” Idia stared off into the distance, giggling ominously to himself and hair turning pink at the ends. His character on the screen went into idle mode, and he didn’t even hear when Ortho floated into the room. “Big brother?” Ortho gently tapped him on the shoulder, yanking him from his shojo daydream. Idia jumped, hair flaring. “AAAIIIIEEEE-“ Ortho jumped back, eyes wide but not detecting any signs of injury on Idia.
Idia breathed heavily, wide-eyed. “Ortho! Wh-when did-? I wasn’t-!” Ortho analyzed his heart beat, noting that Idia had traces of blush on his cheeks and his erratic behavior pointed to- “Were you thinking about (name) (last name)?” Ortho asked innocently, his theory proven when Idia flushed and went pinker. The younger boy suddenly got an idea.
“You know, (Name)’s heart rate goes up when they interact with you,” Ortho watched his brother’s eyes widen, “even when you’re not there, when you’re mentioned, their heart rate increases by 45% and they are more likely to be in a positive mood. 82% of the time, they regard you in a positive way.” His eyes lit up happily with realization, “If my calculations are correct, they have feelings for you!”
Idia sat there, thinking. What were the odds you would like him back? Sure, you made him happy, and more importantly made Ortho happy. And it was actually nice talking to you. And he never felt exhausted after interacting with you. And maybe you did enjoy the artificial light of Ignihyde to the spring sun above, and maybe you would like being with dreary, nerdy him.
Ortho could see his brother lost in thought, noting that Idia’s heart rate spiked when he mentioned you. “I also overheard them telling Grim about finding a partner,” he said casually, omitting that you’d been wanting a partner in Alchemy, and not necessarily a romantic partner.
That seemed to fire Idia up. Ortho could see the metaphorical cogs in Idia’s brain turning, an entire blueprint of a plan being made in his mind. At last, a wide cunning grin spread on his face, and he opened his arms, “well, who else but a genius could be partners with the MC?” He said arrogantly, “it’s not like just anybody can woo the protagonist!”
Ortho beamed, cheering, “all you need to do now is confess!” Idia immediately began sweating, freezing up. “H-huh?!”
——
You frowned at your textbook, rubbing your temples as you read through the alchemy procedure. Ugh, this couldn’t get any more confusing.
As you turned to begin writing, the door burst open. You flinched and immediately locked eyes with a frazzled Idia. His golden eyes were wide, and he was panting - he even looked sweaty. Somehow his blue fire hair seemed just as frazzled as him, looking pale-blue in shock. Could flames somehow look poofy?
“Prefect!” He squeaked. “Idia?” You questioned, what’s he doing here? It was odd that he’d be out of his room at six in the afternoon, not to mention he looked afraid of you. It wasn’t like you were a stranger, even though as of late, he treated you like one.
He stared at you from the door for an uncomfortable amount of time, then sped-walked to stand in front of you. You looked up at him from your seat, tapping your fingers. You awkwardly asked “do you wanna sit down?” He shook his head quickly, the ends of his hair were turning pink. You frowned, “…dude, are you okay?”
Idia flinched. He pivoted on his heel, “no, no, can’t do it, not today-“ he scuttled out of the room and slammed the door, screeching to himself and pulling his hood over his head. You stared at the door, vaguely hearing Idia freaking out to… was that Ortho? You heard the little robot boy’s voice through the door, probably calming Idia down, along with an odd spraying sound.
It went quiet and you assumed they’d left. Whatever, weirder things have happened at NRC. As you went back to writing, the door slammed open again. You jumped, heart beating wildly. Idia stormed over to you, hair blazing a trail behind him. He slammed his hands down on the desk, and your eyes watered with the scent of overpowering cologne bodyspray.
“Prefect! I need to tell you something!” Idia’s eyes steeled in determination, and he looked you dead in the eye. He was breathing heavily, and his flamed hair blazed and curled more than usual, turning deep pinkish-red near the ends. The last time you saw his hair similar to that, was when he was rage-playing during one of your gaming sessions. How pissed is he? You felt your heart leap into your throat.
“Idia,” you began, freaked out, “I think you should sit down-“ Idia blazed on, “this is honestly a horrible decision for you and definitely for me. I don’t even want to think about what Mother and Father would say, not to mention how this’d affect Styx.” He was tunnel visioning now. “Plus you don’t even have magic and this might not even work out anyway ‘cause I don’t see us working out TBH…” Slowly his hair began fizzling out, voice getting quieter and quieter as he mumbled to himself.
This was a terrible idea, Idia realized. After everything that had happened with Styx, not to mention everything you had to deal with personally, it wouldn’t be good to get involved with him. You could be in danger, especially as a non-magic user. No, it would be selfish of him to ask you to be with him. Why would you, anyway? There were other guys at NRC, not to mention the entire Sage’s Island, who would be a better fit for not. Especially ones who didn’t kidnap your friends and Grim. Especially someone like Idia.
No, he concluded. He shouldn’t have come.
You frowned deeply. “Idia, what…?” Your alchemy work definitely wasn’t done yet and Idia was making zero sense. He sighed, as if tired all of a sudden. “Nope, no… this isn’t going to work.” He stood abruptly and sped-walked out the door, brushing past Ortho. You overheard the boy try to get his brother to come back, but Idia didn’t stop. You could feel your heartbeat in your ears. So that’s what this is about? Idia didn’t want to be friends with you anymore? All because you weren’t… what? A tech whiz? Good at gaming? Magical? Your heart dropped. Because you were just too different from him? So you weren’t good enough to be even friends with him?
Your eyes stung at the thought. Fine. If Idia wanted to be that way, then fine. You shoved your books into you bag and headed back to Ramshackle. You doubted you’d be able to focus, anyway.
———
Poor Ortho was confused.
After running simulation after simulation, scouring the Internet for any clues, and piecing together what Idia said after running out of the classroom, he just couldn’t understand what happened. That was a first, considering it was Ortho.
Idia had ran out of the room in a hurry, mumbling incoherently. “Brother! What’s happening?” Ortho flew to him, scanning his vitals. Idia seemed to be ok, but his brother seemed… strangely melancholic. “Ortho, it won’t work out,” he said dejectedly, not wanting to talk about it.
Ortho called after him, trailing behind “What did (name) (last name) say? There was a high probability they’d accept your-” Idia sighed in exasperation, shaking his head. “It won’t work. I should’ve never left the dorm…” As Idia trudged back to Ignihyde, Ortho was left with more questions.
He hovered for a moment, before heading back to the alchemy room for you, only to not find you there. Ortho thought hard, thinking back to what Idia said. ‘It won’t work out,’ was what he said - not a flat-out rejection from you. So that meant…
He began floating back to Ignihyde, determined. I can still save this!
———
You were taking overthinking to a new level.
You bit your lip, staring at the game’s chatbox in front of you. Idia was online, and probably didn’t realize you were too. You leaned against the Heartslabyul common room couch (curse Ramshackle’s lack of internet!), and hit send.
Hey is everything ok??
You watched Idia’s game icon immediately switch to “online less than 1 minute ago,” and groaned.
Cater exited the kitchens, leaning over the couch back. “Hey~ what’s got my fave frosh so worked up?” He chirped, looking at your phone. “Ohh, isn’t that the popular game that’s been trending? Wait, didn’t you say Idia got you into it?” Cater immediately had his phone in hand, “that’s supes adorable, playing with friends is so fun-“
You cut him off, throwing your hands up, “that’s it! Idia just doesn’t want to talk to me! He- he just-!” You grabbed a throw pillow and smashed your face into it, groaning. Cater patted your shoulder sympathetically, “well, we’re playing at another one of Kalim’s parties tonight, you want in?” You sniffed dramatically, thinking. “Well, I guess. Sure, why not?”
Later that evening, you stepped into the Scarabia mirror. You and Cater made your way to the food table. As you both munched on Jamil’s cooking (damn, the guy made a good curry), you watched everyone dancing. “Y’know, it was weird seeing Idia at a party,” you commented, while Cater nodded. “Yeah! We decided to bring him along that day, it was fun seeing him.”
You sighed, “yeah, it was, but… it’s not really often that we can hang out in person. I kinda wanted to dance with him last time, but he sort of… blew me off? I guess maybe it wasn’t the best idea.” You winced, while Cater’s eyebrows rose. “You didn’t tell me that. So, he did that and also told you he didn’t want to be friends?” You nodded, frustration flooding back, “Yeah! And I just don’t understand how he can be so conceited about him being so high and smart, and not like me because I don’t-“
“Prefect,” Cater cleared his throat. You looked up mid-rant, meeting Ortho’s eyes, and jumped. He just snuck up on you both like it was nothing. Did he hear you? Hopefully he wouldn’t be mad. In your mind, Idia started it.
“Hello (name) (last name)!” Ortho said pleasantly, so you assumed he hadn’t heard you. Great. “I didn’t know you’d be here! What a coincidence!” That was a lie, Ortho overheard you and Cater talking about the party when you were walking to Scarabia. He absolutely knew. And he dragged Idia here because of it.
“Yep,” you smiled at Ortho, “it’s nice to see you.” Ortho mentally readied himself and remembered every bit of acting advice Vil gave him. “I almost forgot!” His eyes widened, while your eyes narrowed. Ortho was a robot. He didn’t forget shit. “Big brother is here, and he wanted to ask you to dance!” What? Your neck snapped around, looking for Idia’s bright blue hair. Cater elbowed you, bringing you back to reality.
“I-well, I- had not-“ you stammered, fumbling for an excuse. Ortho’s eyes shone at you like puppy eyes, and your anger at Idia cracked. “…yeah, sure,” you watched Ortho rise a bit in the air happily, “Yippee! I’ll go get him!” He zipped off, and you rubbed your temples. Cater twisted a strand of his hair, eyes wide. “Yikes…” “tell me about it,” you groaned.
A few minutes later, you both looked up when Kalim tapped the mic. You didn’t miss Ortho hovering a ways behind Kalim. “Hey everyone! Thanks for coming!” When the cheering died down, Kalim continued, “We’re gonna try something different! Everyone, find a partner and join the dance floor!”
Cater glanced at you, mischievous. “Welp, I can’t leave them hanging~ TTYL, Prefect!” And he left faster than you could say ‘Magicam.’ Sweet.
You hesitantly stepped to the dance floor, half expecting Ortho to float up to you and sheepishly tell you Idia left. Your mind drifted back to that day in the alchemy room. I guess it wouldn’t work, anyway.
To your surprise, a finger tapped your shoulder. You turned, seeing Idia with a with a flushed expression, wearing a casual-but-chic blazer. His hair looked a bit tamer than normal, and cascaded down his back in a low ponytail, bangs flickering over his forehead. Undoubtedly, this was the work of Ortho, who definitely got pointers from Vil.
You both stared at each other, unmoving, until slow music began playing. You averted your eyes. Idia gulped, eyes widening until waving caught his eye. Ortho was flying upwards a little ways away from the slowly-crowding dance floor, gesturing wildly at you. As if that wasn’t enough, he projected words above his head: DANCE WITH THEM!
Idia was lucky that everyone else was more interested in dancing with their partner than Ortho. His eyes snapped back to you, “s-so I guess you wanna-“ he swallowed thickly, eyes shifting to the dance floor. You shrugged, feigning nonchalance and looked ahead. Idia looked back at Ortho, who was pointing wildly at the words. He thought to himself, this is fine. It’s just the mandatory side quest. It’s not fighting the boss. It’s…
It’s charming the love interest. It’s solidifying your route!
Idia steeled himself and forced your hand into his. Your eyes shot to his in surprise, and he walked stiffly to the dance floor. Your hand clasped his, and you both swayed gently to the soft rock from the stage. Your brows furrowed, but Idia locked his gaze onto you, focusing only on you.
Yes, he thought. This is just the player’s pov on the screen, and he was only focusing on the love interest. The other waltzers didn’t exist. The party didn’t exist. It was just you and him.
Meanwhile, you were at a loss for words. While Idia seemed taciturn, you glanced up at the stage. Cater, Kalim, and Lilia were in their own little bubble jamming out, so that wasn’t a lifeline. After a little while of swaying with Idia, you hummed, “I haven’t seen you in a while. Since that day.” Idia’s hands felt clammy, and in the dimmed lights you saw a small pink dusting Idia’s cheeks. You saw him swallow heavily, but he didn’t say a word.
The tension grew between you two, and despite feeling hurt, you felt a little bad. Still, you wanted some answers out of Idia, after the incident in the alchemy room. “Y’know, you never used to be this… odd around me.” Was it the crowd that made him quiet, or… You felt a lump in your throat. Was it you?
Idia’s eyebrows shot up, thinking fast on what to say. Why can't conversations irl have ready-made dialogue?! “I… we c-can talk about wh-whatever you want? I guess?” He tried, kicking himself internally for leaving his tablet with Ortho. You bit the inside of your cheek as you stepped with him, that’ll do for now. “Scarabia parties are a little much, but they’re more pleasant than the Pomefiore mock balls,” you tried “wouldn’t you say?” After an uncomfortable pause, expecting a reply, you mumbled to yourself, “I guess we can stop talking now.”
“...is it like a rule for normies to chat while dancing? Isn’t the act of moving enough?” Idia mumbled in exasperation, hand tightening a little on your own. You bit your lip, your eyes burning. “No, I prefer to not talk to my friends at all and tell them we can’t be friends. It’s so much fun, right?” Idia’s eyes widened, and he scrambled for words, “I- I didn’t mean…” You stopped swaying abruptly, both of your clasped hands in the air. “Why are you here, Idia?”
A chill went through Idia. “T-To be honest, I didn’t even want to come to this stupid IRL dance,” he rushed out, “TBH Ortho had to make me come ‘cause he told me you’d be here-“ “You didn’t want…?” You cut Idia off, heart dropping. The other dancing couples swirled around you, but all the commotion around you felt like nothing more than idle chatter. Hurt flashed in your eyes, and Idia seemed shocked, which made you angry.
“I guess you wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who’s magicless, especially since you have STYX right?”
Idia’s eyes were wider than the Heartslabyul tea saucers. For once, he didn’t have a smart-ass reply. “Um, what? Obvi, I’m kind of stuck with STYX-” You let go of his hand and took a step back, almost bumping into a waltzing couple. “Yeah, wouldn’t want me to mess things up. Make any bad decisions and all that, right?” You felt your eyes water, despite yourself.
Furiously balling a fist and wiping your eyes, “Since you said we wouldnt work out n’stuff.” Idia suddenly remembered everything he’d muttered to himself, from the moment he’d stormed into the room to when he’d left dejectedly. When he’d made his choice and left before you could even get your word in.
Like a coward.
Idia’s heart pounded but shakingly, he reached a hand out to you. “P-prefect, I-I-!” You dodged the crowd, and ran out of Scarabia. You didn’t look back until you crashed through Ramshackle’s door, raced up the stairs, and fell onto your bed, Grim yelping in surprise as you tried your darndest to forget everything that just happened.
Back in Scarabia, Idia somehow stumbled off the dance floor, staggering to a table and breathing heavily. Mentally he replayed everything that just happened. Ortho floated over to him, “Brother? I don’t understand, why would (name) (last name) not accept your feelings?” Ortho went over the footage when he was observing you both dancing, and frowned.
“My senses indicate that based on their body language, they were upset with you. What happened?” Idia swallowed heavily, “I-I said it wouldn’t work out between us c-cuz they don’t have magic,” he stammered, eyes wide, “a-and STYX and-...” Ortho’s eyes widened, then narrowed, “That shouldn’t be a problem! You know that!”
“I meant for them, Ortho.” Idia sighed heavily, sinking into the chair. “I don’t want them to get hurt. Not when…” his mind wandered to Ortho, before NRC. He fell into deep thought. “In the end, I couldn’t even tell them...” He frowned deeply.
Ortho fell quiet, computing. Idia stared at the table, dejected, until Ortho spoke. “You know (Name) (lastname) doesn’t back down easily from a challenge.” That’s true. From playing games with Idia to taking down overblots, you weren’t someone who ran away when it mattered. Maybe that’s why Idia liked you - you were like the protagonists in animes, who found a way to make the world their own.
“You shouldn’t make (name) (last name)’s decision for them.” Idia looked up at his brother. Ortho continued, head angling to the side, Idia shook his head dejectedly, “it won’t work-”
“Your lil’ bro is right, y’know,” Cater walked over, shaking his hair out with his guitar slung over his shoulder. “Sry, I overheard you two,” Cater could piece together what happened. He did see you blow up at Idia (although he couldn’t hear you), and after spamming your phone with no reply after you ran out, now he had an idea of what was going on. “Y’know, if you didn’t tell them how you felt, then how could you know you were making the right choice?”
Idia looked down. Ortho piped up, “Cater Diamond is right.” Idia shut his eyes, then stood up, hands tightening into fists. Cater jumped back as Idia’s hair flared up bright blue, and the Ignihyde housewarden headed straight to the exit. Ortho called out, “thank you, Cater Diamond!” and floated after Idia, “Brother! Wait!”
“Lets go, Ortho,” Idia’s golden eyes steeled in determination, “I can fix this.”
—----
A knock on the door jolted you from your reading of Prejudice and Pride.
It was early morning. Somehow, even though it was the weekend and you’d stayed up all night, you still woke up at an ungodly early hour. After being unable to fall asleep (totally not because of Grim’s snoring and sleep-munching) you decided to go to your living room and read. You were sure that you didn’t have a guest coming, so why would…?
You got up and opened the door, expecting Ace or Deuce or something. The annoyed look on your face turned to shock when you saw Idia standing on your porch. In one hand, he held a bouquet of pomegranate-red roses and some flowers you recognized to be asphodel.
You both stared at each other, unwilling to move. “Idia,” you breathed, “why are you here?” Idia shuffled awkwardly, “I wanted to see you.” You crossed your arms, looking around. “Where’s Ortho?” You were sure the little robot boy made his brother come. Otherwise, why would Idia be here? Idia rubbed the back of his neck, “Ortho isn’t here. I… I wanted to see you,” he repeated.
Wordlessly, he thrust the flowers into your arms, and you wrapped your arm around it instinctively. “I- um,” you looked everywhere but Idia, who was staring at the Ramshackle doorway. “Idia,” you cleared your throat, “about what happened-” “Prefect, I… I wanted to apologize.” Your eyes widened, but Idia continued.
“I… I didn’t mean what I said that day.” Idia looked bashful, face turning pink and the ends of his hair turning a deep blush. He kept talking, rambling on and fighting he urge to grab his tablet and let the device speak for him. “I… really like being friends with you.” The words came out quietly from him, and even though he looked like he wanted to sink into his hoodie, Idia didn’t shirk away.
A lump rose in your throat as you didn’t make eye contact with him, instead playing with the flower bouquet, “I like being friends with you too,” you bit your lip, rubbing an asphodel petal, “I like you, Idia.”
Idia’s eyes widened and went rigid. Both his face and his hair went deep pink. Your own eyes widened at the color, and you felt your face grow hot. So that’s what it meant…? Not anger…?Wordlessly, without thinking, you dropped the bouquet. Your body moved on its own, and you flung yourself at Idia, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing your eyes shut.
Idia staggered back from the momentum with a squeak, but wrapped his arms around your torso with an iron grip. You gripped his hoodie tightly, finally understanding what had gone on for so long. Your cheek was pressed against his, and despite the early morning chill, you both felt warm.
High above, Ortho hovered in the distance over the tree canopies from afar. He zoomed in on you and Idia, and behind his face mask, he beamed. In midair, he did a heart-shaped loop-de-loop in happiness, and hovered back to Ignihyde.
After a few minutes, you leaned back in Idia’s arms, the both of you chuckling in happy disbelief. You looked up and saw a little blue streak leaving a smoke trail of a heart, and laughed to yourself. Idia turned around, seeing his brother above, a soft reminiscent look on his face.
“…guess Ortho was right.”
~END
——-
Fun fact: the beginning is inspired by idia’s school uniform vignette!!!
Me, while writing this: wow Idia and Cater’s dialogue are unique, they’d be hard to write
Also me: *puts both of them in this fic and suffers*
Writing Idia was SO HARD but I hope I managed to get him right-ish. Trying to balance his reactions with the dialogue was hard 😭
anyway thanks for reading~ please leave a comment/reblog!! <3
Taglist: @cerisescherries, @eclecticprincecollector, @ars-tral, @thehollowwriter, @twst-eeps, @casperandcats, @ttokkisbee, @mitsuriswaifu, @parad-ice-lostandfound, @sad-sie, @moyo5653
(If your user is in bold, I wasn’t able to tag you properly)
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moon-catto · 1 year
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Why do you want to marry me?
Part I | Part II
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I craved pain and you know what happened 😃, I'm thinking to make this into 2 parts. Maybe. If time permits. Also I'm trying to work on equivalent part 2, but the draft is still meh to me :/
Summary: The future of your engagement is decided today.
Warning: angst without comfort.
Masterlist
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It’s been two weeks since you lost sight of your fiance. He usually would burst into your workplace in the loudest and extra way possible just to ask you for lunch, yet you were met with nobody today, yesterday, and the week before.
Your texts and calls go unanswered. You’re basically spamming his notifications at this point but you don’t care. He’s unusually quiet and it worries you. So that’s why you went out of work early to check him at his place.
The silver ring on your annular finger goes loose for a moment, you fixed it before ringing his doorbell. Hearing his footsteps coming nearer, you unconsciously fixed your hair quickly. Heart beating expectantly.
The white door swung open and revealed the man you have searched for in his sleeping attire. Loose black shirt with black sweatpants, his hair is messy and sleep is still clearly seen on his face. It’s already midday, why is he waking up so late?
“Sato–”
“Why are you here?” He asked, he spoke a bit faster so you need some extra seconds to comprehend his words but the only thing that stuck in your head is the fact that he just questioned why you’re on his front door. His way of talking also feels strange, a bit rude— you dare say, like he doesn’t want you here. You may just overthink this because you haven’t seen him in days, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel any pain at his choice of words.
“I– I was… looking for you.” You said, surprisingly hesitant. The man in front of you is not the usual Gojo who would pick you up after work. No. So who is exactly this cold man who’s wearing the face of your fiance?
“Why?” You don’t miss the way his forehead frowned, like he’s actually offended by your answer.
“I have been trying to contact you for days.” You can’t hold back the emotions flooding inside you. Your anger slowly leaking in your tone at his indifferent expression. “I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine. See?”
What’s up with him? Went missing for days without any news then  showing up without any remorse or guilt of having you worried for him. Not that you asked for anything, but a simple notice would be nice.
You sighed. Being his fiancee for five months  is enough for you to understand how stubborn he is. “Just let me in for a minute.” Your voice came out as a whisper. You avert your gaze to the floor tile below as you continue. “Is that also too much to ask?”
You missed the way his pupils dilated. His indifference cracked for a moment, replaced with an unexpected surprise on his tired face. He expected this, your reaction and everything however his heart doesn’t get used to it and instead clenched painfully inside his ribcage.
You rubbed your right arm hesitantly under his stark gaze. “It’s cold...”
He sighed. “Fine.”
You decide to ignore how forced he is acting when he makes space for you to go inside. The chilling wind of winter subdued the moment you set your foot inside, but the raging storm inside your heart remains there, the thought that you possibly upset him plagued your mind.
“Hurry up.” He ushered you. You walked with a heavy heart.
You took a seat on one of his expensive couches. You used to watch movies here with him… it used to feel so comfortable, but now the material feels stiff.
He’s gone to the second floor and for a moment you thought he would leave you here alone, but he’s back with a blanket shortly after.
“Here.”
You accepted the blanket. “Thanks.”
He just nodded and then went to the kitchen this time. Maybe it’s just you, but you thought he’s purposefully busying himself so he doesn’t have to talk to you. Your suspicion might be true since he’s quickly given you a glass of water, sitting on another couch and playing with his phone instead.
He ignored you.
“Satoru.”
“Hmm.”
“Can we talk?”
“We are talking, Y/N.”
“I mean, like properly.” you huffed, stressed by how lightly he took this situation. “I haven’t had any chance to talk to you.”
“You can just text me.”
“I have. You didn’t read them.”
“Was planning to.”
“But?”
“I’m busy.” His aloof way of talking both irritates and hurts you. He never acted like this before, you also don't reckon doing anything to upset him. You were doing fine with him, until recently. Or is it just you who thought everything is fine but it’s actually not? You are full of questions and dying to ask him, but you won’t have your answer. Not with him ignoring you like this.
“Hey,” You softly called him, he still doesn’t spare you a glance. “Satoru.” You put a hand on his thigh, and he flinched.
Immediately, you retracted your hand. Feeling embarrassed that he doesn’t even want you to touch him. “Did I do something wrong?”
“...No.” He scrolled in God knows what and continue to turn a blind eye to you, who’s actually on the verge of tears.
“So why did you ignore me?”
The desperation on your voice is thick, and is straight shameful. But you don’t know any better, you don’t know what to do with him acting so strange like this. Your mind whispers the things you don’t wanna know, your greatest fear and nightmare. His attitude doesn’t help in any way.
“I don’t… I’m just busy.” He sighed, he sounds tired and maybe it’s true that he’s so busy yet your heart still insists.
“Too busy to make a call?”
“Y/N.” he finally looked at you, clearly irritated. His eyes hid so many emotions that are foreign to you. You are scared as much as how pathetic you feel right now.
“Did you…” only then he finally noticed the lightness in your voice, the tremble of your hands, and the pale color of your face. “Did you cheat on me?”
At that moment, he knew he took things too far. Your tears threatened to fall as they filled your waterline.
“I don’t–”
“Answer me.” The strictness in your voice startled him.
“I’m not.” He stutters. “I would never.”
“So are you bored of me?”
“Why are you—” You stood. Finally fed up with his antics. You picked up your purse and looked at him dead in the eyes.
“Looks like I just wasted your time.” You roughly rubbed your eyes with your arms. Noticing your movement, he also got up. His eyes frantically searched for yours.
“Wa-wait,” He grabbed your wrist which you yanked to get him off of you. “Where are you going?”
“Why bother asking.” You nudged him when he tried to catch your hand again. “I’ll just leave you here.”
Before you are able to pull the door open, he catches your shoulder and turns your body to face him. “Y/N!” He slams your back to the door a bit too hard. The door knob hits your waist.
“Ouch.” You whimpered and he’s at lost for words.
“Shit, are you alright? I didn’t mean to—” He raised his hand to help you out but you mistook his intention as a threat, you raised both arms in front of your face while squeezing your eyes shut.
He froze. Did you just think that he would hit you?
“I…” his tears fell just like that. “Did you just–”
His quiet sobs attract your attention, you took a small peek at him and found him looking at you with tears staining his cheeks.
“Do you think I will hit you?” He asked, for reassurance. “Are you scared of me?”
“... Yes.” Your small confirmation just made his heart break inside, shattered everything like a thin piece of glass. His heart bleeds at the thought that he scared you, his fiancee.
“Why?”
“I don’t know you.” You tried to suppress your sobs but failed. Your futile attempt just made his heartache worsen. “You’re not my fiance, not my Satoru. I don’t know who you are and why you keep hurting me like this.”
“I-i’m,” he tried to talk, to say anything but his tongue goes numb after your breakdown. He caused this, the one who made you cry is the same man who promised to protect you.
“What do you want?” You asked. “You can just be honest, so i won’t have to be like this everyday.” You bit your lips hard. ‘I’m like a fool, looking for you when you clearly don’t want that.”
He watched in pure horror as you pulled your engagement ring off your finger. The feeling is so terrible, like your heart is being pulled into half. His chest feels suffocated.
“I’m tired.” You told him. “Really tired of your games.” You put the ring on the small table nearby and turned to open the door but turned to him once again. He’s still frozen, completely distraught when you give him a small box.
“You can dump this too.” When he comes to his senses, he’s alone in his house with a small gift box with a small note in his hand.
Happy birthday, Satoru.
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meafortuna · 1 year
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ASTRO NOTES #4
I was thinking this was going to be a synastry one, but it turns out it will be a mix. 😅 Enjoy and don’t take anything personal! 🫶
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• Mars in Aquarius it’s so unpredictable when it comes to their anger. It will be easier to explain, if you imagine the following situation - The native tries to unlock the door 9 times and the door doesn’t open. Our person seems pretty cool… and then on the 10 time they just start to 🌪️, u know. 😁 Well after five minutes everything is just fine, but that 5 minutes would be hell for you if you stand in their way. And don’t touch them, ok, that will make their craziness go even worst. ⚠️
• Moon in Gemini u are so bi polar, everything in you is such a mess. I mean… your emotions swinging with your thoughts, just like the Moon changing her phases. Ocean of thoughts, that’s you guys. 💭 Really moody, always overthinking, anxious, but deserves the world. *at least that’s the funniest Moon sign and who doesn’t love to laugh?! love ya! 🫶 ♊️
• In synastry if there is a Chiron conjunct Moon or vice versa it can be really helpful for the natives. The Moon person recognise the pain in Chiron person and tries to heal them from their past traumas. For the Chiron one it seems easier to open up in front of Moon and that doesn’t make them feel ashamed of their wounds. Really beautiful connection, accept there are some hard aspects. ❤️‍🩹🌓
• Does anyone have problem to recognise a Pisces Sun?! 🐠I don’t know if i am crazy, but they all are so different from each other, and i have a lot pisces around me… Maybe cause Pisces collect in themselves all the qualities of the other 11 signs, or maybe because they are ruled by Neptune and can afford to be whatever they want or don’t know who they are, because of that Neptune influence. Like the water they can be calm, stormy, deep… And one more thing which it’s not necessarily true, just my observation. Most of the Pisces i know have a water rising. 💦
• Mercury RX = Mercury conjunct Uranus or in Aquarius. 🤝 They just don’t know how to express themselves in a right way. Super smart, different point of view, innovative, but it’s hard for them to explain what they wanna to say. Always thinking they are misunderstood or some kind of weird, which only feeds their God complex, they love to feel different. ( Aqua guys are with the biggest God complex of all zodiac signs). 😅
• Pluto conjunct Nessuss it’s so powerful aspect to have. These natives transform the pain into strength, very healing power! 🧡On the topic of Nessuss i want to warn you, if you have personal planets conjunct/square Nessuss in synastry, please be careful with that person, especially with the conjunctons to Moon, Venus and Mars. That’s an indicator for having a violent relationship. I noticed Moon conjunct Nessuss most of the times it’s a sign for emotional or mental abuse. Mars square Nesuss for physical abuse. If you have some of this aspects with someone, please don’t ignore. 🙏
• You can always spot a Taurus men, because they will do anything to see them. 🤡 They will try so hard to get your attention in some kind of funny way, with their silly jokes. But they are not funny at all, I mean their sense of humor it’s so… conventional. For me is irritating, maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m wrong. 😅
• Native with Saturn in Pisces in sixth house it is an indicator for the individual have to grown earlier, also there can be some cases where there is a violence in the family or an abscent father. Person with this position of Saturn was forced to take care for things and people that are not their responsibilities, since they were a kid. There are so many suppressed emotions in them. Really important for them will be to learn how to set healthy boundaries and to look more often what’s going on with their health. The good thing with this placement is that after their 30 (Saturn return) the things going to start getting better. I promise! 🫶 🪐♓️
~meafortuna 💙
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mysumeow · 1 year
Text
My ears! Why won't you pet them? 2/2❜
PREVIOUS PART
Summary: Tighnari is used to the attention his fox features bring to him. Your apparent indifference to them makes him wonder: why's that?
Warnings: Once again, Tighnari calls reader a lummox. That's like his catchphrase. Non-graphic descriptions of violence. Pretty sfw all-over, but gets mildly suggestive towards the end with nudity.
a/n: asks and requests are open ^^
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Tighnari awoke with a severe headache that prevented him from even sitting up in bed. Next to him, you were sitting on a chair as you jotted down some notes. You noticed that, despite his eyes being open, he still had a dazed expression.
"How are you feeling? You received a strong hit to your head," you closed your report journal and left it on the desk. "If I hadn’t disobeyed your request, who knows if you would’ve made it out alive,"
"Ah, right. Now I remember," once again, he attempted to sit and rest his back against the headboard. "We were…cleansing a withering zone?"
"And then a pack of rifthounds attacked us."
His hand brushed against his bandaged abdomen, the memory of how it got there coming in as fresh as the wound.
"You’re not harmed, are you?" he took a quick look at your body in search of any telltale sign that you were also hurt.
"How would I be harmed if you told me to flee as soon as those rifthounds appeared," you crossed your arms. "I did come back not even a minute later and drag your body out of there,"
"I was too reckless," he recognized, ashamed. "I had already cleansed a withering zone earlier in the morning and didn’t regard proper rest before going to the next one,"
"Don’t overthink about it," you told him before he could apologize. "We made it out of there alive; that’s all that matters,"
Despite your assurance, the need to apologize gnawed at him in the back of his mind.
"Look at you. You’re always complaining about adventurers being reckless and having to nurse them back to health," you teased.
"Very funny," he rolled his eyes.
"I know," you said as you rose from your seat. "You look thirsty. I’ll go look for a glass of water. Don’t go anywhere,"
"Do I have a choice."
Tighnari, ever the stubborn one, managed to get out of bed and scan his own appearance, just to get a better idea of the injuries on his body. You weren’t trained on how to approach these types of damages, unlike all forest rangers, so he figured Collei gave you a hand on how to treat his wounds.
His eyes fixed on the square band-aid patch at the base of his left ear and what that meant.
"I’m back—And of course you wouldn’t stay in bed," you said, leaving the glass of water on his bedside table and gathering your belongings, such as the report journal. "Because you need to rest, let's put research on hold for today... or until you feel better."
"No need. We can continue right away."
"Don't be silly; go back to bed," you said gently. "Remember to update your own journal,"
Maybe you didn’t care about it or didn’t notice, but Tighnari was too aware of your proximity. His heartbeat spiked up and didn’t calm down, even after you left his room.
Late at night was when he decided it was a good time to finish documenting recent finds.
Tighnari yawned and opened the journal to the page he recalls being the latest he wrote on.
Not only was the pencil on a different page, but the texture of the notebook was also different. With a confused frown, he checked the front cover.
You took his journal by accident.
It wouldn’t be bad if it were the one dedicated to academic endeavors.
You took his personal one.
He shivered as a cold bead of sweat ran down his neck.
He almost had a heart attack when he opened his door to run to your temporary home, and he was met with your just as startled expression. Tighnari heeded the familiar cover of his personal journal clutched against your chest.
"You read it, didn't you?" he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "…Listen, let’s pretend this didn’t happen—"
He recalled that the last paragraph he wrote was about how much he wanted you to touch his ears and how frustrated he was that you were being oblivious about his feelings for you ever since you both were students at the Akademiya.
He wasn’t going to be able to sleep tonight.
"Why didn’t you tell me sooner," you interrupted and stepped closer to him. "I always thought you were the one too entranced in your work to notice my feelings,"
He gawked at you. "You can’t be serious. Tell me you’re joking,"
"I’m not."
"Your visits are work-driven, and most of the letters we exchange are focused on that too! How would I guess you feel the same for me if the idea you give me is that we’re mere workmates,"
You sighed and averted your gaze from him.
"I’m sort of familiar with your kin. They tend to pursue knowledge and appreciate educational accomplishments over anything else. I didn’t want to feel like a burden?"
"…Wow, you really are a lummox in all senses of the word."
"Gee, thanks."
"Your information regarding my kin is not wrong. However, I must address the fact that you’re overlooking that not only are you not a burden to me, but I’m also capable of still pursuing knowledge and be with you,"
"So, in other words, you mean…"
Cautiously, he reached out to you and observed your reactions for any sign of rejection. With sheer tenderness, his hand grasped yours and pulled you inside his home.
The first graze of lips was sweet, his arms circled around your waist, and you pressed your bodies together. You pulled away to relish the feeling, which Tighnari granted you a second to do, and he was pulling you again for another kiss.
Tighnari jolted when you decided it was a good moment to rub his ear, and not being able to control it, he began to purr.
"You can do that?" it was a welcomed discovery.
"I—Yes—" his cheeks flared pink with embarrassment. "Don’t exploit it!"
"Hm. You're lucky I'm exhausted," you let go of his ear and preferred to nuzzle yourself onto his neck, the vibration from his purr all too soothing.  "Let's just rest, yes?"
He didn't bother to move an inch, content with holding you closer and relaxing his cheek on your head. 
The chirping from the birds outside awoke you from sleep, and the embrace you both dozed in was now pretty much over. Tighnari's leg is over yours, and your arm is tucked under his back.
Your arm was so numb that the pain shot right through it when you tugged it from under Tighnari, waking him up.
"Ah, my whole body hurts."
"I might as well lose an arm because of you," you groaned. "How about your wounds? Do you think you can continue today?"
He shook his head no, viridescent eyes staring back at you. 
"If you want to carry on with your duties, don't let me hold you back. I can manage on my own."
"No need. I'll stay with you. And won't receive a no for an answer," you grasped his arms and led him to the bathroom. 
"You're too kind. You could just scrub my back with a rag and I'll take care of the rest."
"You don't... want to take a bath together?"
"Oh," his eyes widened and processed the information. "...Oh. Uhm—if it's okay with you...?"
"I wouldn't have offered to in the first place," you laughed as you turned on the bathtub's faucet.
You were humming to yourself as you got the bath ready. 
Self-conscious now, even though he wanted to go in with you, Tighnari began disrobing himself as slowly as possible. 
By the time he was moving on to undo the sash around his hip, you had already removed most of your clothes. His eyes trailed from your face to your neck, and lower...
"Need help with that?" you volunteered to give him a hand, startling him and he forced himself to look away bashfully. "Your arms must hurt, after all,"
You directed him a teasing smile. If his ears could turn red, they would do so now.
Once bare, Tighnari followed behind you and sat on the corner opposite of you. He lowered himself enough so the bubbles would hide his face up to his mouth, not sure where to focus his eyes.
You weren't helping matters by sitting on his lap and running your shampoo-slathered hands through his hair, your chest right at his eye level. Perhaps you were having too much fun with the fact that he starts purring as soon as your hands touched his ears; you spent most of the time with your fingers there. 
His delight was cut short when your fingers came across the deep cut those monsters released, and pain shot up at that instant.
"It stings," he hissed, scrunching his nose.
"If someone wasn’t reckless yesterday…"
"You’re not going to forget about it, will you?"
"Never.”
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nrdmssgs · 10 months
Text
Alex Keller meeting civilian reader scenario
Masterlist
Ok, so I'm well aware, that Farah exists, and I respect all those, who ship her with Alex. She is the queen, hands down. But I wanted to do a series of “COD men meeting civilian reader”, so sorry guys, this time you, readers, get him. The reader is just a small nervous overthinker here. So that's where all this "veterans" stuff comes from. I usually bear an AFAB reader in mind, but, I think, I've made no specific allusions to the gender of the reader here.
You didn't like this whole idea from the start. From the very moment, when a friend of yours paused from laughing on your joke and turned to her spouse.
"Babe, you know, who has a tad similar sense of humor? Alex does..." - yeah, that "Alex does" didn't sound good to you. This wasn't the first time these two had tried to end your quiet single life by introducing you to someone.
"Alex?" - you tensed up.
"Yeah Alex. He is a friend. A good lad.", they both grinned at you. "Good lad" was a very bad sign. A sign that this "good lad" was only a few minutes apart from getting your number from your friends.
"No. I'm done with this. The last time was... THE LAST EVER!", you really were hoping, you would convince these two to leave your single ass alone in your happy hiatus. The last guy they tried to set you up with turned out to be a disaster!
"I promise, it's not like that this time! He is funny, has a charming personality, absolutely your type, I think you even have the same tastes in music, if I remember correctly" - your friend started rambling.
And just when you were about to interrupt her with a reminder that you are too old to date guys based on the same taste in music, her husband added 4 words that made you stumble.
"He is a veteran."
Now that was a problem...
No, you didn't disrespect or dislike people with such a background. And by no means, you could even think to discriminate them. If anything, they deserved endless respect, gratitude, care and love. But you weren't naive. You understood that the life of such a person could turn into hell if he was not supported by someone incredibly strong. And you did not believe that you would ever become such a strong person. Damn, you had sometimes problems coping even with yourself.
But you also could never say, "I'll never speak to a guy, just because he is a veteran". No way.
So you sighed and thought to yourself, that you'll just meet him once, be nice and friendly, thank him for what he was doing, shake his hand and buy him a beer.
That's why you agreed to this date, albeit with a heavy heart.
So you ended up at the bar waiting for this guy on a chilly autumn evening.
You were still questioning yourself if it was even fair to go on a date that is meant to be the last one (and only one participant knew it for sure), when you heard someone call your name behind your back.
You turned back and froze for a moment.
Why did this guy had to have an absolutely disarming smile and those charming clear blue eyes and barely noticeable precious freckles?
Your brain seemed to short circuit, because all you managed to answer was "Oh..."
"I prefer Alex, but if it's a happy "oh" - I'm ok with that too" - he grinned and gave you a friendly hug.
And at that moment you knew, you were gone.
Well, maybe there was a tiny bit of hope for you... What if the guy was just a jerk? This would make stopping any interaction easier for you. "C'mon, help me out here, man, please!" - you desperately thought as the date began.
He didn't help you. Not at all.
As promised: he was funny, charming, wildly beautiful and... warm. Not "formally friendly", but really, sincerely warm.
In an hour, you didn't even feel like it was a date. You were just chatting with your old buddy.
And yes, he got all your jokes. The way he laughed, closing his eyes sometimes, just made you weak.
You even forgot to worry about all that "Oh no, how do I pay respect and show gratitude to the veteran" stuff. He made you feel comfortable and relaxed.
Well, at least until he caught you staring at his tattoos, when you thought, he looked in the other direction.
"Wanna see the rest?" - he smiled and rolled the sleeve of his shirt up.
You were a blushing, apologetic mess, till he turned it all up into a joke.
"C'mon, it's not every day, that I catch the attention of someone so adorable. Just pretend, you are interested and ill be reminiscing on how I showed you my ink for the rest of my life and boost my self-esteem" - he chuckled.
Oh, his sweet, a bit raspy little laughs.
He looked you right in the eyes, but somehow didn't make eye contact uncomfortable.
You didn't even notice how time passed until it was time to say goodbye.
"Did your friend already give you my number? No? Ok, time to fix this!" - he takes your phone from your hands and writes something down there. Then he laughs softly and makes a funny face at the camera.
When he returns the phone to you, his number is written there and there is even a funny photo on his contact.
"Alex "Oh" Keller".
Well, of course, he wrote his name down that way.
"Our mutual friend said that you somehow take the military too seriously. Here's a reminder for you that we are just goofballs in a uniform sometimes."
When you came back home, you opened a chat with your friend. Of course, she already spammed you with a ton of questions on how did you like Alex.
"What did you tell him about me?!" "I mean... thanks" "Hes perfect", you type, but then delete and type instead "Really, thnx!"
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joshusten · 8 months
Text
love me in spite (guy/honey, redacted audios)
Guy and Honey get into an argument early into their relationship.
(angst, hurt/comfort, arguments, fluff)
3k+ words [ao3 link here!] [masterlist]
[CW and notes: swearing, arguing, insecurities, overthinking, breakdowns, descriptive?? crying?? I think??, idk they’re both having a bad time. probably a lot of grammatical errors lmao. also honey is implied to be empowered!!]
Honey doesn't remember the last time they felt like this, but they’ve always known their personality would bite them in the ass someday.
“Aww, is my beloved mad again? Oh, pray tell, which heinous crime did I commit this time, officer? Robbery? Public indecency?” Guy stroked his chin, pretending to rack up his mind on any possible offense he could have made. “Hm…jaywalking?"
“Guy.”
“Oh! Or maybe—just maybe—it was wanting my ever-so-affectionate lover to stop their pretty head from fussing over me?”
"Guy, can’t you take this seriously for once?” 
“But I am! It’s just not that big of a deal, baby! Look, a manuscript can’t just write itself, y’know? Especially one with a little flair from yours truly!”
“You haven’t slept properly for days now, you work overnight most of the time, and on your days off you pull all-nighters writing!” 
“Oh, you’re one to talk!”
“Well, this one’s more serious! I haven’t even seen you eat a proper meal and anything I offer you gets left out cold!”
They continued to have a back-and-forth confrontation, voices raising and words getting crueler as time goes on, with both parties not intending to back down anytime soon. Honey thought it was the first time they ever heard Guy let out an actual annoyed scoff and they noticed the slightest change in his demeanor. 
“Jesus, Honey. Of all the times you can finally act like you care for me, why now? Hm?” There was a playful smile on his face. It almost made them believe he was still joking around but his words were laced with an unmistakable annoyance.
But something inside Honey snapped. Their chest tightened at the thought of their partner thinking they didn’t care. They felt themselves flinch from the comment and Guy seemed to notice that too as his smile drops. “Shit. Honey, I didn’t–”
“I’m–,” They scrambled to get their bag, keys, wallet, anything they would need because they just want to be anywhere but here.“I’m going out. Let’s finish this later. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”
They didn’t mean that. Didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. Then again, they don’t mean to sound so harsh most of the time but end up doing so either way. Grumpy. Mean. Intimidating. A common descriptor from most people. But Guy wasn’t like most people. ‘Unless,’ they think, ‘That was just a lie you told yourself to believe in.’
Honey shuts the door behind them, leaving the building and the warmth of their partner.
The pain in their chest almost distracts them from the exhaustion currently catching up to their body after a long day. They can feel the telltale signs of a migraine coming as they rub their temples gingerly with one hand, the other guiding the steering wheel. ‘Damn, it started to rain too. What a great way to lighten the mood,’ they think bitterly. Their mind eventually goes back to the fight earlier.
“Of all the times you finally can act like you care for me, why now? Hm?”
They do care. They care for him so much it scares them . He knows that, right? Even if they groan at his flirtatious quips and innuendos or if they grumble at his (very creative) attempts to give them as many hugs and kisses as they would allow, he knows that that’s just how they are, right? 
Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe that never was enough to begin with. Maybe Guy finally realized he deserves better than an ill-tempered partner who doesn’t even know how to properly show any affection to their own fucking boyfriend.
A sharp car horn snaps them out of their thoughts. Shit, it’s a green light. They continue to drive until they see the familiar soft glow of a nearby 7-Eleven sign despite the persistent rain. 
Honey's entrance was signaled with the chime of the bell above the glass door. It’s relatively empty save for what they recognize to be a few D.A.M.N. students buying some late-night study snacks. Walking through the aisles while the pop song they heard their partner hum before softly plays in the background, slowly but surely calming them down. Muscle memory makes Honey reach for Guy’s favorite snack and they wonder how he’s doing. 
---
Guy doesn't remember the last time he felt like this, but he’s always known his personality would bite him in the ass someday.
Sure, he and Honey had their disagreements, but they were all accompanied by playful slaps and teasing laughter. Never had it gotten to the point of an actual argument that caused them to spit such venom toward each other like the one they just had. 
“I’m going out. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”
The door closes and Honey leaves, bringing the warmth of their shared apartment with them. Guy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and starts to get to work. He wordlessly distracts himself by cleaning the living room—picking up stray plastic chip bags, vacuuming crumbs that settled on the cheap shag carpet, and fixing up the pillows on the couch that he’s been nesting on for the past few days while he works on the final draft of the project he was writing. 
Piles of paper littered their second-hand coffee table. Every inch is covered in Post-it notes and wrinkled pieces of paper filled with ideas that he had haphazardly scribbled in an attempt to record them before it leaves his mind. Most of them, he recalls, are just random doodles of spirals and honeybees that he absentmindedly drew as he was typing away on his laptop. The spaces left exposed on the table were adorned with faded mug rings on the old dark oak wood.
He tries to compile them into a neater collection, pausing as he notices a doodle he made of his Honey. It was far from a masterpiece, but the cute cartoony style paired with heavily exaggerated furrowed brows in order to replicate their partner’s usual expression pulls a smile from his lips. There was even a jumbled-up line inside a small text bubble next to it to symbolize the adorable grumbles they always make. 
Fuck, he misses them so fucking much.
A sudden wave of exhaustion almost makes him drop the stack of papers he’s holding and it dawns on him how much he really has been neglecting his own health for this project. The stress of trying to find a job where he can utilize his degree and finally get out of that godforsaken pizza place has been taking a toll on him. All Honey was trying to do was for him to take a break that he so desperately ( and, he embarrassingly admits, unknowingly ) needed. And he just treated it like some silly joke. Granted, it really was because he wasn’t used to being coddled after, but, it definitely wasn’t an excuse to dismiss their worries like that. 
The guilt builds up in Guy’s throat like bile. He feels worse now, especially considering how much they struggle with expressing themselves like that to him in general, even if they don’t say it aloud.
He finishes cleaning up but the restlessness doesn’t leave him as time passes by with no word from his partner. Maybe this is it? Maybe he fucked it all up like always? Maybe they finally came to their senses and got fed up with him. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think he was a bit too much. Too chaotic, too irritating, too overwhelming. He ever minded those comments in the first place, but the thought of Honey possibly thinking like that too makes him sick. 
It’s getting late and he can hear the rain outside get louder. The anxiety that has been settling in their stomach flares up. He reaches for his phone to message them before concluding they might not want to be bothered right now. Shit, he’s feeling a little sluggish. 
Guy begrudgingly trudges to the wardrobe of their shared bedroom to get a change of clothes. He glances over as he pulls a familiar-looking hoodie from the hanger. Their double bed, adorned with a pizza plushie that Honey had given to him as a joke gift, was more inviting than usual. Maybe he should just take a rest and go to sleep. 
No, no, no, they might want some space from that too. Guy wants to talk this out with them instead of sleeping it out. If this persists, he isn't sure how his poor heart could take it. He ultimately decides to go back to the couch, stay up, and (at the very least) greet them when they come back. 
If they come back. God, please come back.
What if they don’t?
The thought felt like a mere whisper in his head but it left him numb. Guy's aware of his tendency to overthink but before he knew it, he was lying down on his side, hand clamped to his mouth as he forced his eyes shut. He lets out a quiet sniff. His breath hitches. Then he hears himself choke out a small sob. 
Then another.
And another. 
And another.
The dam breaks, his eyes water and he heaves as much air as he can into his lungs. It suddenly became a struggle to breathe and it definitely became a struggle to calm the ugly thoughts that plague his mind. Shaky, broken sobs fill the room, he cringes at how pathetic it sounds.  He hates this. He hates this feeling. Just come back, I’m sorry.
After what felt like hours, his sniffles slowly died down. With heavy eyes and a heavier heart, he finds himself drowsy from all the crying. The hot tears streaming down his face had begun to dry, but, the warmth on his cheeks reminds him of his Honey and the thought of them finally lulls him to sleep.
---
Honey returns, a little haggard but with a calmer mind. The drive around Dahlia and their quick run to the local convenience store definitely helped lighten their mood but the guilt still followed them around like a shadow. Shaky hands find their way to the lock of their shared apartment and Honey opens to a dim living room, with the forgotten hanging bulbs from the kitchen barely providing a sense of light. They noticed the place was tidier than they remembered.
It was eerily quiet, as well. The wrinkling sound of the paper bag that they were holding filled the room.
"Guy?" Fuck, they can hear their voice getting wobbly. 
"I'm home. You there?" A shift from the room was all they heard accompanied by a sniffle. Honey suddenly becomes hyper-aware of the soft snores matching the rise and fall of a figure on the couch.
They couldn't really explain why their heart started to pound with their pulsating headache. Why they made a beeline inside their apartment. Why they started to get down on their knees in the living room despite the protests of their tired body. Why their chest sank deeper as they saw their partner all bundled up on their battered couch. 
They don't miss the frown on his face and his tear-stained cheeks.
Fuck. Tears? Guy was crying? 
Honey quietly (urgently) sets down the paper bag from their grasp and slowly places a hand on his shoulder, patting it ever so gently.
"H-hey? Guy, what are you doing over here?" They noticed how cold they felt to the touch and remembered their thermostat wasn't working that well. "It's freezing. You're freezing. "
After a few gentle pats and caresses (and reminders of how it's cold here, the bed is warm. Take it, please. ) Guy manages to blearily open his eyes, rubbing away the sleepiness and the few tears that managed to slip.
Cute. His eyes are so cute. Honey would have thought if their mind wasn't filled with thoughts and questions. Why was he sleeping on the couch? Was he waiting for me? He didn't need to do that. Why was he crying? Did he cry himself to sleep? Was it because of me?
Did I do this?
"Honey?" Guy's voice croaked and Honey's heart aches after hearing how hoarse it was. It aches a little more to see him smile at them despite the argument they had earlier.
"You're back…" he mumbles, slightly adjusting his body to prop himself up with his arm. He was wearing their hoodie again.
"Guy, why are you sleeping here? It's cold," they repeated, the worry in their tone becoming more and more evident. 
This had Guy fully sitting up, giving his full attention to their Honey with a slight grin that was preparing to give out a smug reply before dropping his smile and deciding otherwise. If he noticed that their eyes were starting to get just as glassy as his, he didn't mention it. “I-I mean, you’re…mad, right? I thought you’d want some more space from me or something…” 
“N-no! I mean, yeah, thank you for that but that doesn't—” Honey cuts themselves off with a groan. Why can’t I just say what I want to say? What do I even want to say? Guy immediately notices their partner’s frustration and sits down beside them.
“Hey, hey, it's okay. You’re okay, Honey,” he says with a reassuring smile and slowly raises his hand near their cheek, “Can I touch?” 
Honey immediately nods, almost melting at Guy’s warm hands. The familiar calluses from working countless graveyard shifts and delivery jobs all over Dahlia for Max’s kept them grounded. They notice a newly formed bump on the ring finger of his dominant hand from the number of handwritten notes he’s been doing recently.
After a few moments of soft breaths and the sound of Guy's rough thumb gently gliding across their cheek, Honey let out a weak laugh but the words that followed were by no means a joke to them. “You’re so good for me.” Too good. I don’t deserve you. 
It was Guy’s turn to let out a confused chuckle. He felt anything but good to them at the moment.
“What do you mean by that, hon?” He caresses their cheek and he forgets how much his chest hurts when his Honey leans into his touch. “Hey, c’mon. Do you…do you wanna talk about what happened?”
Honey nods once more. "I'm…I'm sorry," they choke out as if the words got caught up in their throat. Everything was overwhelming again. The sound of the remains of the rain, the ticks of the wall clock, and most of all, Guy's unwavering attention to them. They avoid his gaze. 
"I know that…I'm…I dont have the most…pleasant attitude," The nervousness in their tone was obvious but the quick squeeze of their hand from their partner was enough for them to go on. "And I know that you didn’t mean that. About me…not caring,” They felt him give another squeeze, a bit tighter than the last. “Fuck, god knows you’ve put up with me long enough for me to know you wouldn’t mean that.” 
Honey manages to finally look him in his eyes again, they think it's their favorite color. “I…I just don’t know why I act like this. Why can't I just…care for you in a normal way.”
“Oh, Honey…” 
“I’m just so fucking sorry. I really, really care for you, please know that,” they sob out. Guy thinks he’s never seen them this vulnerable. His arms slowly circle and stop around their body as if he was waiting for their permission but Honey beats them to the embrace, burying their head on his chest. He knows they can hear his heart speed up.
“Hey, I know, I know,” The hands that were once on his partner's cheeks find their way to their back, rubbing circles and tracing shapes. “I’m really sorry for what I said too. The stress from work and writing these past few days is catching up but please don’t let that ever be an excuse for me to talk like that, especially to you and especially if it makes you think of all these lies.”
“And all this talk about…caring for me in the ‘normal’ way. Don’t say that.” Guy slowly pulls away to tilt his partner's chin up for their eyes to meet again. The way his Honey looked so distressed was a sight he decided he never wants to see again. “What matters is that I know you care and I want you to know that the way you show it is… fuck, I’ve never felt so cared for like this until you, Honey. Okay?”
“I’ll work…on not neglecting my health too. If it weren’t for you, I might’ve actually collapsed from exhaustion,” he adds, lips upturned into a sheepish smile. “So, thank you.”
Guy isn’t prepared for the way their Honey finally graced him with a soft smile. He’s had them laugh and grin at his…eccentric behavior before, but this smile held so much fondness and sincerity (directed towards him of all people! ) that made this moment all the more intimate. 
I think I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack. He doesn't recall having butterflies for lunch but he definitely feels them flutter up and about in his ribcage. He wants to treasure this moment. He wants to treasure them.
Honey looks down, uncharacteristically flustered and Guy’s heart soars again. “Thank you,” they whispered. “For that.”
“Of course, Honey. Though, I must say,” he grins. “Although your methods of conveying your love for me are a bit… unconventional , you could say I’m on the more bizarre side, too. I guess we make a perfect match after all then, don't we?”
Honey snorts, a reaction that's endearingly familiar to him and he smirks even wider. “You’re so fucking stupid.”
“Well, for the record, if anybody here is fucking stupid, it would be you!” Guy shoots back, “Hi, hello, I’m stupid, by the way, ehh– Ow, ow, ow!”
The pair continues to laugh and banter at each other like before, but, as they comfortably settle down to cuddle on the couch, they both don’t miss the way the grip on their entangled hands tightened for the slightest bit.
---
hope you enjoyed!! please let me know if i had any mistakes or just some feedback in general!! i kinda wanna continue doing these kinda stuff :DD
307 notes · View notes
ficcidio · 8 months
Text
YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL
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pairing: fiancé!hyunjin x fem!reader
genre: comfort, fluff, a little suggestive in the end
warnings: insecurities, problems with food & feeling guilty after, swear words
a/n: hii, i’ve never written abt hyunjin so i hope i did well! i’m sorry i didn’t post in so long i’ve just been struggling a lot lately and i couldn’t find the energy + this was written at 1 am sorry if smth doesn’t make sense (not proofread yet) 😭 also please read the note at the end, it’s very important
ᯤ now playing: young and beautiful by lana del rey
— 시작
your body started panicking as you felt everyone’s eyes on you. you looked around the room, trying to figure out the reason. was it your makeup? or did you eat too much? your dress probably looked horrible on you too. it was all of them, maybe. you started to walk, looking for you fiancé, hyunjin, who was nowhere to be found. he had left you alone in the middle of the party with all those unknown people.
as you moved you heard a group of people calling your name “y/n! come here” “y/n, come talk with us” “y/n!” “y/n!” you tried to escape but suddenly one of your old friends caught your wrist and made you approve her and her husband.
“wow, you look really different” she said “did you gain weight?” she asked as if that wouldn’t hurt you “yeah, i guess…” you whispered trying not to cry. it was the third time they said this to you tonight and you were started to get anxious. why did they only look at your body? why couldn’t they talk about your success?
“oh, that’s good too eh! i didn’t mean it in a bad way” she tried to fix it, but you were already overthinking. you didn’t want her to pity you. “look, i really have to go, it was nice to see you, bye” you answered quickly as you ran away, trying to look for hyunjin.
when you finally found him, you sighed in relieve and ran to him. thank god he was alone, you wouldn’t be able to bear with any other comment about you. as you ran, he looked at you, confused by your worried eyes and desperate speed to get to him. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked gently, trying to calm you down. he knew something was off as soon as he saw you. “let’s go home” you whispered as you clung onto him.
“why?” he waited for an answer but it didn’t come. you didn’t want to explain yet, because you knew if you talked, your eyes would fill up with tears and you’d start to cry desperately. “let’s just go, please, hyunjin” your cracked voice told him everything he needed to go home. that’s when he decided to say goodbye to some people near him and he ran with you to the car. he quickly started driving without any words.
you felt bad because you knew he was really excited to come to this party, and you made him go home for a stupid reason. it had been 10 minutes in the car and you were still far from home. the way he didn’t say a word made you feel terrible, was he angry? did he really get mad at you? it wasn’t your fault. or was it? did you exaggerate it too much?
“i’m sorry i ruined your night” you whispered, trying to stop yourself from breaking down in front of him. 
“ruin my night?” he asked gently, which surprised you “yeah-“ you tried to continue “you didn’t ruin my night, if you’re uncomfortable then i have to take care of you, and you didn’t seem very happy. it was getting boring, anyway.” he stated as be continued to drive. a single read fell down your cheek but you wiped it as soon as you noticed it. you couldn’t let him see you in that state. “thank you…”
you spent the rest of the drive home silent, and when you got to your place you ran to your bedroom as fast as you could, leaving him confused in the entrance, though he followed you seconds later. when you got to you room you almost immediately broke down, falling on the bed and letting your tears fall continuously without thinking that your boyfriend may hear you. you really didn’t want him to know, really, but you couldn’t help being loud while remembering all those things everyone said to you hours before. after all you went through, every meal you didn’t eat, every tear, every time you yelled at someone because they wanted you to eat, every time you fainted, all that for nothing at all? you suffered so much, you really thought you got better but they made it look as it was nothing with all the anger and sadness you felt with their comments.
you felt his hands grab your waist and try to turn you around for you to look at him, but you refused to let him see your red eyes. “baby, please talk to me” he said gently while he rubbed your back. you finally acceded, but you hid your face on the crook of his neck. “love…” he started, but he didn’t get to finish the sentence because you cut him off “why do they always have to comment on my body as if i don’t see myself in the mirror every fucking day” he separated you from his body so he could look at you. your eyes connected and his showed his worry and care.
“what did they say?” he asked as he brought to back into his chest. you didn’t answer, letting your sobs be heard “y/n, what did they say?” he questioned again, while he patted your hair “they said i looked worse, they said i gained weight…” you whispered with embarrassment “everyone’s eyes were on me, hyunjin, everyone was staring at how bad i looked” he was about to let his jaw fall to the floor but he stopped himself as it wasn’t what you needed right now. he was so shocked, because in his eyes you were more than beautiful. how could someone think that dress looked bad on you? god, he almost died when he saw you in that gorgeous black dress.
“bad? you looked stunning, y/n” he answered, speechless at how you talked about yourself “you’re saying that because–“ he cut you off as you did before “i’m saying that because that’s how it is, i’d say that if we were friends, strangers or even enemies, because you looked like a work of art. you always do.” he answered sweetly. your sobs where barely audible now as you has calmed yourself hearing his voice. now all that was left was your breathing. you looked at him with a smile, still with puffy eyes and hugged him again. “thank you…” you muttered “it’s fine, darling, you don’t have to thank me” hyunjin promised
“i was scared i would have to go through everything again” you justified yourself, but it wasn’t necessary now. “shh, you won’t, not as long as i’m here. don’t ever say that about yourself again, mhm, beautiful?” he kissed your forehead and continued “god, i don’t know how anyone could ever think that way about you, i almost couldn’t control myself when i saw you” he said, making you blush and you hit him lightly “shut up, dumbass” you said, still hiccuping from the intense crying but laughing, and he did the same.
he put you into the bed an caressed your hair until you felt tired and wanted to sleep. you had wasted too much energy already, you felt so exhausted. “princess, if someone every says anything like that to you again, tell me and i’ll make sure they never say that again” he whispered.
“i love you”
“i love you more.
A/N: hello so, i wanted to talk about the struggles with food as someone who’s had an eating disorder for six years. if any of you struggles with food, please look for help. remember that food helps us, without food we’d be dead. you need to eat, it’s necessary. please don’t give a fuck about other peoples opinion, because they don’t know the real you, and they don’t know what’s really going on. to stop eating is bad in so many ways, your health will worsen, you as a person will change and you will lose people. i’m talking from experience, with my ed i lost a lot of friends, i fought with everyone and i was always in a bad mood.
throughout my life i have been judged by everyone because of my body and valued without thinking about my personality, my intelligence or my maturity. some people only care about your looks, that’s true, but you mustn’t be embarrassed for the body you have, because good people will know you’re worth much more than just what they see. you’re not your body, you’re your favorite song, your favorite film, that melody you sing in your head when you’re bored, you’re that quote in a book you once read and never forgot of. you’re that time you helped someone who needed it, that sunrise you once saw, your favorite clothes. you’re your favorite flavor, your favorite season, your favorite singer, your favorite color. you are what you like, not how you look like. so please, eat what you crave and don’t restrict any foods. i love you for who you are. and if you’re struggling, my dm’s are always open, don’t be scared to ask for help. i love you, unconditionally.
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