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#but also these stories havent been advertised to me the way others are
seamanequin · 6 months
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the fact that your ocs names are cristo and moriah is so funny to me i need to know more
Omg i never had any1 interested in my ocs. I have many ocs that are just ponytown avatars that I liked so much I had to make full ocs. This is moriah
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Shes a mermaid exotic dancer, madame and con artist. She goes up into land in the summertime, going from south and north hemisphere chasing the summer. She seduces rich men to get the funds to open clubs, shows, brothels and other stablishments like such to party real fucking hard and bring her mermaid friends in, in the process scamming a bunch of patrons too. She then gets her ass super out back into the sea during transitional seasons when shit eventually hits the fan. She funds her lifestyle this way and also the spells to get in human form, which is this like. Serum thing sold by this other former mermaid that alchemied some goo to turn into a human that she takes and stays permanently as a human, living as a Self Care Boutique Millonaire influencer Gwyeneth Paltrow kinda mf that also advertises this serum to mermaids to come into land and party rock. Her name is Lizzy and Moriah has some sort of toxic tgirl yuri thing with her
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I still havent drawn Lizzy nor did her human form skin bc ive been facing the horrors but this is her mermaid skin, i love making ocs in PT LOL
but yeah with most of my ocs is more like i just have a status quo they just be livin and fuckib around, by chance Cristo is not one of those, I do have a story and I plan on making a comic but is one of those Some Day I Will kinda things.
His deal is hes a model thats messed up and a mean girlboy so they assign him a therapist and it turns out to be a dude that he fucked with and treated pretty bad when they were in like late high school/ early college so the dude who is secretly a piece of shit decided to fuck with his unstable head, and shit gets too far and it gets bad for both. toxic yaoi if you will. Some sort of psychosexual armsraise of who is the craziest gay bitch in the room and it ends fatal. In my defense i had the idea for them before i watched hannibal so nobody @ me on that weird gay bitches having some sort of weird gay shit with a therapist involved was not invented in the hannibal show. Also I dont have any good art of cristo and darío (darío is his therapist) but cristo lookd like um imagine bob sideshow from the simpsons if he served cunt for a living and for darío imagine the evilest little afrolatino twink you can and then dress his ass in librarian looking ass gucci. I need to draw them they suck so bad
Anywaysss tysm for prompting a monologue i tbh love my ocs but i just dont feel like they are that universally interesting, like they are such a me thing. Plus i need to get in some sort of adhd med to be able to get shit done bc i literally cannot do a single drawing most days LOL but again tyyyy for the ask :3 ^-^
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eletricheart · 7 months
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100 PPL NEED HELP CALL 911
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
omg omg omg omg i cant believe this thank you so much i dont even have words this is crazy💜💜💜
thank you all for not only enjoying the stories i write (are u okay?) but for also being so patient. I know i dont have the best release schedule (i dont even have one) and im so sorry for that.
I honestly believed i'd get a max of 10 followers so this has been such a surprise, im so grateful for this trust u guys are the best😭🫶💜
I promise i'll finish the other requests in this lifespan😬, i had this super weird headache this week so i could only get one. But i swear i havent forgotten about it and it will be done😔🙌 pinky promise.
I truly love you so much, this is unbelievable♥
I lowkey want to block all of you, rip out my heart and never have feelings again. But in a cute silly way🤪🫶♥💜🥰
Anywayyy, i hope i can keep writing for u this has been so much fun🫶🫶
𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊
Now...I cant miss the chance to advertise my work😈 For those who dont know I do the Goddess work of fanfiction writing.
I write for: mother miranda, donna beneviento, mira kano and katherine pierce.
My inbox are always open for any requests or talk (friendly pls😊)
If u send something and its taking a while for me to respond, its okay i didnt forget u im just a mess🥰
my masterlist
Love u guys, see u again some time😁🫶
(sorry if the emojis are annoying i feel like the text gets boring or professional (?????) if i dont use them)
(dont judge my heart and star, drawing is hard)
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dreamt that i was walking into this target type of building but it was like a similar type of store. i walked in, someone i recognized started yelling their ass fof at me about being late to work and in that dream i realized “wig do i still work here?” and im like oh im on for today? right now? well damn i got my stuff so ill go get changed. and my manager? the person yelling at me huffed and asked me about the “affair”. she was talking about the outfit i was wearing. it was a type of magic that i had crafted to make my outfit look a certain way and it looked like ome of those super silk purple robes that youd see a rich widow wearing.
anyways the position at the store 🏬 was like a regular one except they had me working like lead role in some show that served as like an asvertisement for their company. it was like a full blown show and it was like a pretty good soap opera cuz if you didnt know youd habe no idea it was advertising for the store. so yeah i was the main character???? for some reason... and the main character was like this maid with this super frilly maid outfit kinda like this
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and she was like ome of those characters that stumbled her way thru the story, into and out of problems. sje had good insight sometimes and was good at event planning and liked to run and read mysteries a lot. i guess it was a bit of a mystery soap opera cuz there were a lot of murders and other problems that shed end up solving cuz all the other characters were so caufht up in the surrounding melodrama that the only “mostlybut not really” uninvolved character had the time to think about what was goin on lol.
anyways they paid me for like an entry level position and i had to act out this character for the show on the set and in the store itself. the job overall sucked and like the store too but i kinda liked not habing to wear the stores normal uniform and the maid outfit allowed me to get away with fucking around and doing some other bullshit i absolutely would have not gotten away with otherwise. also i liked working on the show more thhan anything else. it was... fun.... despite eberything else.
anyways at this point i just got stopped at the entrance and havent gotten changed yet. so i make a dash back into the tunnels tha connect to the entrance and stsrt looking for a changeroom. the tunnels are like a swathing sea of people in these subway like tunnels. it was all white like a targets walls would normally be. with thst type of stone or brick thats been painted over. it was nauseating. it shared that same kind of miserable lighting too... anwyays i kept running into various people cuz there was so many around ir was impossible to not do so. and almost ebery single one i ran into kept aski nd me about “the affair”. i didnt bother to keep asking at this point. after feeling like id suffocate and die like this several times i made it to thechange room . which had the same pale white ceiling and walls and insufferable lighting and almost as many people inside as there were outside. but at least the changeroom was incredibly spacious... people still wouldnt stop asking me a bout “the affair” until i managed to erect a barrier of boxes and linen in a corner so i could change in relative peace.
when i changed into my outfit i was no longer at the store. i was already wearing something else and i found myself at some type of gathering at some kind of (ski?)lodge
i remember hurrying to orepare a swimming outfit and some backup outfits for after and while i was doing that i was talking to someone about fortnite? while also preparing for some event
oah yeah it was one of those collective borthday events for people who had birthdays in the same month. far as i remember there were only 3 ppl there whos birthdays were beinf celebrated for that month. it was wierd cuz like after all the prep and setup and everything eberyone is more or less gatheredon one end in this dining hall amidst all thr serving tables full of food... and then my grandmother? (maybe?)start singing happy birthday. she gets like 2 lines out before she interrupts herself to start reciting a speech which felt like a suuuuuuuper uninportant thank you to thr “sponsors” she was reading advertisements. i looked at the guy whose name was mentioned in the first two lines of the song we were singing, miguel, and he was kinda just looking around expectantly. felt bad for him... most of the people who were gathered up before were suddenly no longer in sight cept for a few stragglers. thats what it felt like. the few left behind were just wandering aroujd aimlessly. not even chatting or eating. there were two ppl who was i was talking with on one end of the hall. i said, smth like “this kinda fucking sucks” and this one lady walked up to me and very excitedly agreed and the guy sitting in his chair handed me his phone and showed me his web page. it was pretty cool. it had this really cool pixelized style of colouring using various hues of green and brown that looked really good together. i looked thru his page while talking to both of them and as i did images of this dark builfing with spotlights occasionally hitting it started filling my mind like a vision ior clairvoyance or smth. it was a weird clustered snd complicated buildinf. i wish i remembered enough about how it looked to draw it.
the 3 of us kept talking to eachother and we realized we all got along pretty well so at some point the lady was like “hey why domt we fuck around and make our own birthday celebration since they dont seem interested in starting anytime within our lifetimes lol” and both me and the guy were like yeah thats a great idea. the guy in the chair dodnt really say much very often bur the 3 of us were all on the same page so while the lomg ass speech was s to ll goin on we dragged out a circular table, found a normal sized cake and surrounded it with plates and bowlls of food we were planning on eating. we were practically making new dishes and soups an stuff with all the combinations we were making. once all the food was ready we just interrupted and started singing happy birthday to miguel while the 3 of us held hands round the table. im not sire if he heard us since he was sitting relatively nearby my grandmother(?) who was kinda still droning on...
the 3 of us were having fun and were enjoying our newfound friendship we had forged . i think i woke up around then
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your--isgayrights · 2 years
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hey sorry if youve already mentioned reading this before and i havent seen it yet but have you read trash of the count's family? it has that wholesome found family vibe that i really liked about orv
also what would u think of a crossover between them?
Yeah I read it last summer!
Well, I know its still currently updating but the last thing I read was (SPOILER FOR TRASH OF THE COUNT'S FAMILY)
when they started talking about OG Cale's mom and i haven't had the chance to get back to it. Like I said in the last ask I'm into drama/romance rn and TCF is very firmly like aromantic in my opinion which I really appreciate about it. Like you said, the similarity with ORV is that Cale is like: I'm here to build and maintain a found family, not fuck around. Really scratches my face-slapping/action itch when I have it.
I've never really read fic about it tho, I think that's mainly because most fic I see advertised in the tag is ship fic with Cale getting some and I just so happen to think he's an ace/aro king, comes down to personal preference. I think there's a lot of potential for people to take the TCF characters and make a narrative about how platonic love can be inherently queer and subversive, because in so many cases the one thing that saves the characters from their fates in the original novel is Cale just... knowing about them and caring that they continue to exist, which is sweet.
Then like I said before most of the x-over stuff I like is characterxsetting swaps, not character-character meet-cutes. I think the main difference of ORV characters in the TCF setting from OG TCF is that KDJ as Cale would be just slightly more of a loser, okay? So like they both have these elements of "I know this story so I can seem cool and OP at the start as I slowly start making more and more sacrifices to maintain that image." But I think that Cale's absolutely hilarious POV that's slowly revealed of "actually I'm an apocalypse vet who read one book ever on his day off to try to keep the PTSD at bay" is a REALLY different perspective from Mr. Kim Reader who is obsessed with Ways of Survival and creates the universe by writing self-insert fanfiction. There's also the "I'm just here to slack off because I already lived a life full of trauma and strife" vs the "I've been showing a suicidal lack of care towards myself and don't believe I have a future because I already lived a life full of trauma and strife." Then, critically, I think that both the character of KRS and KDJ are getting something from their new world that they couldn't get in their old one, bonds with other people. ORV, however, in contrast to TCF, asks the question "Am I using these people for my own gains? Is saving them really something they should be grateful to me for? Aren't I the same guy who is alone and deserves to die?" and Cale is just like "I saved you, you're gonna live in my house now, I won't emotionally confront the impact that caring for you has had on my life unless its in a trial of life and death, k thanx bye."
Okay okay, this got away from me... basically what I'm saying is that it's hard to do 1 to 1 roleswaps with these characters, so I think the crossover setting would be a bit complicated.
Luckily, ORV as a narrative is literally constructed to make any crossover narrative ever completely possible. I would like take a point in time in the cannon of ORV, right after the divorce arc where YJH found out he was in a book and then they were put into like a scenario based around a different world (Kaiznex arc or however its spelled idk) and then have those roles be the world of TCF. So like KDJ wakes up as Cale and YJH wakes up as Choi Han and KDJ has to explain the setting to YJH and its like...
KDJ: OH haha this must be one of those books were a regular guy ends up as a character and knows everything about the protagonist so he helps him and...
YJH: ...
KDJ: ...
And then they just keep going, so I know they weren't in the kaizer permanente or whatever but imagine: biyoo as Raon, SYS and LGY as On and Hong, obvi very cute. And then I literally cannot be arsed to recall if there are any couples in TCF so IDK where JHW or LHS would end up that would have the same emotional resonance as the whole two palace people who are only kept sane by each other thing.
and I think HSY should be the white star AND also Choi Han's ancestor who wrote the cryptic books okay next question.
KRS in ORV setting would honestly be just like "oh not this fucking shit again." Literally hanging on by a thread in this universe where he read a book that he thought was a poor fictional history written by someone who wasn't there about "skills" from "stars" instead of having just plain ability users. I think if Choi Han were a regressor, it would be most fun if Cale didn't know and only read the first part where he messed everything up in 3rd and was like I can fix that and Choi Han is like Who?? Is??? this guy??? and then Alberu should be the author because him and Cale are funny like HSY and KDJ are funny. Alberu stealing jobs from women by being a funny bitch smh... Honestly I think that TCF characters in an ORV-like setting is sort of already answered by the Cale goes back in time in KRS's life thing and fixes stuff for them then has to go home bc he's white now.
OK. those are just my thoughts tho its been a while since i read tcf so idk how accurate that is, judge for yourself
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10 Best Pokemon Unbound Cheats Of
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💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥 You can even get a few cool things by doing so. Forgot password? Account Name. Password Forgot password? Keep me signed in. Community members will not see the footer advertisement. Seen December 31st, Yo, I need some help, I'm trying to enter the great desert and the game black screens. Same thing happens when I enter the day care. Respond Ignore User Report. Age Originally Posted by ski bum [ Original Post ]. Seen 2 Weeks Ago. Any word on if the gen 8 sprites will be added to the data? Even if Skeli doesn't want to rework the routes, allowing us to trade from Radical Red or BFD would be a decent alternative. Seen March 14th, Hey I completed this hack and I absolutely loved it. The map is gorgeous and the city and town design is also pretty good. I just felt it could be little more darker than it is now. You could throw in some blood Instead of burning during character deaths. Also the story was pretty simple and there is a slight drag in it. Please consider this constructive criticism. Overall, its a pretty good game and I haven't found a single bug or glitch in my entire play through. Very few hacks achieve this. Thank you for giving us Unbound! Is there really no way to gain access to the Pokemon Stunky until late game if you don't have the right rng to get him as an egg early game? Cause I really want one but dont know where to look to access one. Is there any way to obtain stunky other than the egg in Bellin town? Please help! Seen January 29th, I can only get the Battle tower demo to play and the full game comes up as a patch. Originally Posted by Mrlvlup [ Original Post ]. Seen January 2nd, Anyone know if there is a Cinder Volcano raid den? Riddhwimaan Mukherjee. Seen October 9th, Originally Posted by alexthegreat [ Original Post ]. Really enjoying the hack so far, just wanted to pop in to report a bug! Currently in Antisis City, just completed the socks mission and was heading back through a pipe when I realised I could just shortcut back with an escape rope. I did, just to find my sprite is now permanently stuck in the crawling sprite animations. Returning to the pipe instead replaces the spriteset with another character's one - spoilering in case Spoiler :. Seen March 12th, I want to battle the creator of the game and the other guys inside the house at Dahara city but they act like we already battled and they say comeback tommorow but i havent even battle with them. Does anyone know what to do to battle them? I have won the league And after saving mother from the tuins of void is there anything else to do postgame that includes battles. Seen June 13th, I think that gym 2's forced stealth section is badly designed. It's hard to make practically pixel perfect inputs to get into the 1 tile crevices if you're using auto-run and no, I don't think turning it off is going to be helpful. This game looks promising, so maybe I'll use a walk-through-walls code, but I shouldn't have to use a code to get past an unfair and required part of the game. Seen October 6th, Downloaded Unbound yesterday and was having a lot of fun with the game, then I got stuck. Theres 2 trainers on route 5 that are protecting an item. I made it past without battling them, but when leaving they initiated a battle with me and now theyre blocking the exit. Ive tried a noclip cheat, Ive tried exiting and reentering, Ive tried completely closing and reopening my emulator but they wont move. Need help. Dr Dovel. Seen March 22nd, Any info on when next update is? Have very much enjoyed this and still am, keep up the great work! Seen November 27th, Having a bit of trouble with the Treasure Hunter mission, does anyone know where item 2 is? I have found the other 10 items but keep missing this last one. Thanks for the help! The shiny rate have been changed? Because, I catch a shiny zubat in the first cave of the game. Now it is a beautiful crobat at level 70 and I love him. Seen November 12th, Originally Posted by d [ Original Post ]. Oh, then I guess I'm not finishing this then. Any game that makes you savestate scum is a hard pass in my book. Guess I'll watch a Let's Play. Thanks for the heads up. Seen January 5th, Originally Posted by Dieppa3 [ Original Post ].
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beewitch4 · 3 years
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I think if I saw a story about being Black and female and how that effects your view of self love and the love you receive from others, I’d cry.
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newtedison · 3 years
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my thoughts on the crank palace
i touched about this a bit on twitter (@newtedison_) but i figured i would Try and touch on my points more here (spoilers obv) again, its sort of lengthy
1. im gonna start with talking about the ending because i need to get it out of the way. either i havent read the books in a while and i forgot some canon (which could very well be true, i literally forgot that Bliss was a thing) or this ending makes no sense and is (somehow) setting up for a tdc sequel? so first off, newt was shot in the Head with a Bullet and somehow didnt immediately die? i know that that can happen in real life but it just seems so unlikely that not only would he not die, but he would survive long enough for someone from WCKD to transport him back to their labs and try to revive him. and who the fuck was he talking to? did thomas get newt’s journal at some point and i just dont remember? like i said, either im forgetting stuff or this ending doesnt make sense and is setting up a sequel which...i’ll get to later
2. why was this written? like, what was the point? i understand that this wasnt going to be all sunshine and rainbows but i feel like i was reading torture porn. like, literally all that happens is newt gets tortured (which is described in detail) by WCKD soldiers, has bouts of insane-fueled rage where he KILLS MULTIPLE PEOPLE, and then he dies. ??? what did this contribute to the canon? what was this trying to accomplish? truthfully, i never really wanted a newt-POV...well, anything except for maybe those little nuggets he wrote some time ago. but even if i HAD wanted a newt-POV novella, this is not what i would have wanted. he KNOWS that newt is almost universally the most loved character in this franchise. you can tell because he constantly uses him as a way to get fans in his good graces again. so why on earth would he take that character that so many people love and write a novella where its torture porn and a descent into madness before death? i am not interested in that At All. i’ve read fics (and even written a drabble) where newt is a Crank, and those were more respectful and easier to read than tcp. the parts where newt is having bouts of the Flare were literally exhausting to read; it was described in such vivid and torturous detail that it made me sick reading it. and it didnt help that newt is a character i care a lot about. i didn’t need to know what becoming a Crank felt like. the way it was described in the other books (and even the movies) told me everything i needed to know. the way thomas and everyone found newt at the crank palace in tdc and hes described as obviously not well, but not knowing what exactly happened to him...thats good enough on its own. the mystery of what exactly newt had to endure is part of what gives his journey more emotional depth. not everything needs to be written out and explained. not every gap needs to be filled in. 
3. me saying “the characterization felt off” is going to make some people roll their eyes because ‘duh, sami, the characterization will be off because he’s going insane’ to which i say...exactly. we weren’t really reading a newt-POV novella, were we? even if he isn’t past the Gone in the beginning, hes clearly not the same person we knew him as. the whole novella felt like an uncanny valley situation; i knew i was supposed to be reading about newt, but it felt like i was reading about someone else who looked like him. and that is part of what made this such a disconnect and made me lose interest at parts. not only that, but the world building and lore is inconsistent. newt makes a comment about how it used to rain in the glade, and apparently (as ive been told) that is simply not true. keisha having somehow working cell phone that magically connects her to her family also doesnt make sense. how would they have each others’ numbers? what are the odds that they BOTH found working cell phones in an apocalypse? i get that its a novella but you cant just throw something that crazy in there as a plot convenience. actually work on your plot and world building in a cohesive way, please. and another thing that doesnt make sense...
4. ...is newt finding out that sonya is his sister. if there was anything i would have wanted from a newt-pov novella, it would have been this. him finding out that not only is sonya his sister, but he already knows her post-WCKD. something that would have made this novella actually captivating, contributing something worthwhile to the canon that i would actually want to read, is if newt found out while in the crank palace that sonya was his sister; the Flare would remove that part of the Slice in his brain, and he would realize it was her. then, knowing that he couldnt go past the Gone before seeing her, he would try to find a way to get back to her. he could learn this after thomas and everyone originally see him, so it could match up with the canon. and then, by the time 250 comes along, hes lost all hope of that actually happening, and lashes out to thomas in a fit of rage. the journey of him trying to find his ACTUAL sister would have meant more to me than the story of keisha and dante. trust me, i love a found family trope as much as the next girl. but this series is FULL of the found family trope. it pretty much is the backbone of the franchise. so to see a blood family dynamic would have been a refreshing change of pace that i actually would have been interested in reading. also, the way that newt DOES find out about sonya is...underwhelming. he just randomly says “you remind me of my sister, sonya” to keisha in the WCKD truck. first of all, sonya is not the name you would actually know her by. you would know her by her birth name (which is lizzy? elizabeth?). second, why does he act like he didnt already meet her in the series? when the WCKD doctor tells him sonya is his sister and is alive, hes so surprised. wouldn’t he have known that already? why is there not more emphasis on the fact he already met her? that would have been a really interesting dynamic to explore, and im sad they didnt
5. the pacing and dialogue of tcp is so dragged out. i remember specifically there was a section where newt goes to talk to keisha after she starts abandoning dante, and i swear to god there was a page and a half of text before anything ACTUALLY happened or anyone ACTUALLY said anything. dashner described a launcher at one point as “the energy dependent electric firing projectile device.” that’s SIX words to describe a stun gun. a fucking stun gun! we know what it is! why did you have to use six words??? it just felt like everything was dragged and stretched to the longest it could possibly be and it added to the exhaustion i felt while reading it
6. okay i cant end it without talking about newtmas. its very obvious by now that newtmas is a VERY large part of this fanbase. its clearly the most popular ship and what keeps a lot of people interested in this series. even the marketing team for the MOVIES used newtmas as a advertising tactic (i.e.; using thomas and newt standing face to face as a thumbnail for the trailer, emphasizing newtmas based questions in interviews, even making a fucking facebook memories video for them. yes that last one is real). not only does dashner use newt as a way to lure fans in; he also uses newtmas. the parts that were sprinkled into this were so obvious that it didnt feel authentic. i cant speak for the original trilogy; i dont know the culture around ships back then, and i dont know how much it influenced his writing at the time. but the scenes in those books felt more genuine than tcp. by genuine i mean; he wrote scenes without a relationship in mind, but the chemistry had noticeable subtext that, while unintentional, was largely agreed upon by the larger audience. the parts of newtmas he added into tcp felt artificial and forced, likely as a way for people to take snippets of and use as a free marketing tool for him. one example you might have already seen; “he had already gotten used to his post-thomas, post-WCKD life.” the fact that dashner SPECIFICALLY used the phrase “post-thomas” rather than “post-his friends” or something similar shows that he is using newtmas as a hook on purpose. not only that, but to make newt’s last thoughts as he died “tommy. tommy will understand...” is...wow. first of all, i never wanted to know what newt’s dying thoughts were, but thanks, i guess? and second, when we all initially thought newt died underneath thomas with a gun to his head, i was pretty much inferred that newts last thoughts would probably be about thomas; they would sort of have to be, given the circumstances. so adding that in gives me the same feeling that “i’m coming for you, newt” at the end of the fever code gave me. not as offensive, but written very much on purpose. and the ending is implying that there will somehow be a sequel where thomas gets newt’s journal from...someone. at this point, i can only think that this sequel will retroactively make newtmas canon somehow. now that newt has been confirmed as gay, it could happen. which brings me to my last point...
7. hearing dashner confirm newt is gay was already mind-boggling before. now that i’ve read the crank palace...im angry. im very angry. i think its safe to say that newt is the character that suffers the most in this series. you can argue with me but hes definitely high on the list, if not #1. so; you take this character. you give him a horribly sad arc in the original trilogy, then decide to expand upon it and tell us, your largely QUEER fanbase, exactly how painful and torturous his last days were, in detail. and then you tell us he’s gay. something that is never mentioned in the canon, only in an offhanded reply to a tweet of someone calling you out. on a base level, i can understand why people would be happy. representation (i guess), seeing themselves in the character, having their headcanons be confirmed. great. but what i see is you telling your largely queer fanbase “hey, you see the only confirmed gay character? im going to literally write torture porn about him before killing him off and offer it to you like im providing a service to your community.” how fucked up is that? “hey, kids, if youre gay, you WILL be violently tortured and become violent and a danger to the ones you love. then you will die and your love will never be reciprocated.” what a message! and if he DOES end up retroactively making newtmas “canon” in some weird sequel...i will start foaming at the mouth. THIS is an example of how not all queer representation is good or genuine.
i’ve definitely forgotten some points but this is long enough already. let me know if you agree or if theres anything else you want to add! im interested in what you guys think
(8. I JUST REMEMBERED!!! if WCKD needed to study newt so bad bc sonya is his sister and is immune while he isnt, why did they let him run around the crank palace in the first place??? you cant test his vitals or anything you’re literally just watching him. what is the point????)
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silver-mist · 4 years
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BTS In The SOOP EP4 - HOBI’s REVENGE (The full recap)
I havent done a recap since Ep 1 and technically that wasnt a recap but more for fun. However, after watching today’s episode, I felt inclined to share some thoughts as I found this to be such a lovely and heartfelt episode that truly exemplified not only each member and how they are as well as dynamics between them so im making this exception. This may be a long read for some but if you make it to the end then ❤️and feel free comment. Welcome to a summary/analysis of my thoughts throughout this episode full of cute moments between certain member “ships”. I put that in quotations to point out that I look at these platonically in a friendly way (with the exception of 1 lol) but also as a way to emphasize how each member looks to another as different likes and circumstances arise. We all can fully see that OT7 truly have a special bond unlike other idol groups who pretend for years only to be discredited later. However, it shouldnt come as a surprise that some members are closer to some than others and that isnt a bad thing, just like we all may have that 1 or those 2 people we wanna tell first when you have a major life event or need to just talk. That is the main reason for my recap today, to talk about these and how it genuinely warms my heart because even though they may not act like their full real selves here, after all, this will be seen on broadcast by the general public and not just fans, this is probably the closest we get to their domestic normal selves, no narrative, no event or photoshoot to prepare for, just them doing things as they go. 
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We start off after the dinner scene where everyone has dispersed into their own thing. Cue to V sitting by himself in the main house about to sing karaoke. As anyone who has followed him along the years, you already know that he often prefers his own “me” moments and its just cute to watch him start singing to his hearts content that its even pointed out by his hyungs as they sit outside further away chatting. Its nice to see him happily enjoying whatever he feels like doing with no care in the world but I do shy away from calling him an introvert as he can be the social butterfly. 
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We then cut to Namseok sitting outside, drinking some beer, having a heart to heart. The rap line has obviously been close for a long time but the way Hobi speaks about his chat with Joon that night and how it feels natural and not awkward shows you that they gravitate towards one another vs possibly some other members in terms of lets say normal adult discussions where its not about jokes or laughter but just growing up and responsibilities or random hobbies and its a beautiful thing to see. Between Hobi wishing he could sing (I think he has a lovely voice and should try it out even when he thinks he isnt good) to Joon talking about writing in a journal or feeling like this is a break they should have where they retire, its cute, its normal non celeb talk, and just a moment between 2 likeminded friends. I’ll finish off this scene with another *Joon should just not touch things in general* moment when he drops the mosquito defector and all Hobi does is smile and reply... 
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(Friendship Goals...)
Jimin decides to join shortly after but doesnt have a beer in hand, the hyungs are quick to point that there is some in the other fridge but Jimin dismisses it and goes to sit as all he wants is to be in their company awww. He mentions that he will take some cold medicine and Hobi immediately questions if he’s feeling unwell to which he replies that he is in fact not feeling well. This cause an immediate reaction of concern from the hyungs as Joon tells him to put his hood on to evade a bit of the cold air and Hobi insists in a serious manner to not disobey and do as they say after jimin says its fine. Double awww 🥺
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Their night ends with Minimoni heading out to another mini tournament of ping pong because why not, Jimin trying to convince Hobi to watch them because awww, and Joon telling Jimin to not torture Hobi like that 😂. Joon reading the room and knowing its not his thing cracks me up, baby mochi just wants him around haha.
The scene then cuts to the next morning where we finally see Yoongi waking up from him sleep nest in the search for water. He is still out of it as he cutely blames someone from taking his water to only realize a few moments later that that someone was him 😂.
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Lil meow meow cutely wobbles out of his camper to go get a drink only to suspiciously look around like he’s spotting the cameras. Perhaps to make a Yoongi Part 3 impromptu advertisement??? We all know how good he is at those 😂. He finally asks himself “What should I do”. Story of my life he probably thinks in his mind... meanwhile I go, just rest. 
We then cut to another episode of the Chronicles of Jin: The “It’s still Hot” saga where I genuinely wonder why he still chooses the tent when im sure another arrangement is possible but do you boo. As always, the forever RJ representative cutely wears his pj’s as he heads to the main house not before stopping to do the most random thing ever... 
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The editor’s caption speaks for itself lol.
He finds his way inside to stumble upon baby Tae still kinda sleepy looking complaining to the sink where dishes were left unwashed the prior night. His annoyance cracks me up and then he starts to play with a mini skillet/stove? and we finally get a moment of Tae cooking... yayy. He cutely complains as the rice is not staying together and tests out the sugar level to then realize it needs more and its adorable. Hobi wakes up and heads downstairs to encounter Jin at the piano again and cutely heads towards Tae to smack his butt and ask for some food, cue VHOPE cuteness, which later continues when Hobi wants to time Tae’s food with his jog haha. Tae again complains about the dishes and proceeds to drag a chair closer to the stove because I guess the 2 second distance from the table is too much? 😂Cute..
Back to 2Seok which to what I have seen in videos is not often, agreeing to go for a jog as well as disagreeing on how to go about it. Jin is like America (we go out to the store in sweats with unruly hair and not give an F LOL) and Hobi is like Korea (Where everyone dresses nice no matter what the occasion) Side note* this is my perspective as an american who has visited korea, they just do fashion better over there and I want to buy it all ☺️. I guess Hobi ends up finally convincing Jin to change because next thing they are out and about in their morning jog.
Back to baby Tae and random inexplicable moment of the episode #2... He removes the plate from the chair then proceeds to sit on the floor to taste his treat when the chair is now empty...🧐😂
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2seok is now on their jog down the road and Hobi stops to rest on the side with Jin judging him “We only ran for 3 minutes and you already want to rest?” LOLOL. He then proceeds to take some of Hobi’s water and insists on carrying the bottle back because it makes him look good on camera. LMAO Jin, stay humble always... 😂. Hobi just does a literal SMH.
Cutscene to the view where different rooms are shown at once and I spot the second room next to Jungkook in the floating house with the door open.. Hmmm who opened it I wonder? Was someone using the room??
Back to V being his cute self enjoying his “me” time. He proceeds to play again with the rc boat and I almost panic a little at what seems like he may fall into the water trying to place it there. Good thing he doesnt but he gets the wrong control remoter and rushes back to get the right one. Once it finally moves its like all is right in the world. Cute. We get a short glimpse of him in the floating house and seeing that Jungkook is still fast asleep.
We then see Yoongi back at the top house heading in to read his book, shortly after the 3 amigos V, Hobi and Jin are walking in as Jin previously mentioned he was hungry, cue to start of meal prepping. 
We finally see the final member we havent seen wake up, baby mochi in all his fairy like self is still in bed. Tae is the first to open the door to his room and proceeds to cutely jump over him, play around, get pushed back and complain and then just lay on top of him with his butt facing the door. Excuse me while I melt in cuteness..my VMIN heart... ❤️
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Only to literally do a 180 and LAUGH my ass off when Hobi walks in, sees them there and just goes NOPE.. walking out 😂
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Apparently 2seok have decided on their meal plan and the ever so helpful ray of sunshine seems at a loss on how to set the charcoal on fire, note that he could have asked Jin but he heads to Yoongi for help (Bring in some SOPE love :)). Either way here I was hoping Yoongi would just chill and it seemed like that was the plan until he saw Hobi’s lostness and eagerness to help so he decides to step up again and help out. It’s kinda evident he didnt plan to when he goes “Oh ok” after being told what they plan to eat but proceeds to jump in at Hobi’s lostness in terms of making a fire. Cute. 
Cue back to Hobi disturbing the soulmates and whatever little cute slaps Tae was giving Jimin to probably wake up to ask him to fetch the torch because hes finally done running between the houses like last episode lol. The ever obedient Tae obliges immediately, Jimin remains in bed. 
Were back at the main house and maybe not every caught on but its ADORABLE how Joon goes out with the plan to play with the boat like Tae but leaves it abandoned to see where all the other members are. Note, he is for some reason limping all of a sudden and I think it may have to do with why he left early for personal reasons, I hope he was ok. Potential theory, could Jin slapping the boxer bag have anything to do with it? 🧐.
Anyways, even with his leg issue he literally walks around to the other house, checks on all members and ends up back at the main house sitting next to Jungkook, encouraging him as he is building a glider and then ultimately telling him he will keep him company by sitting next to him and reading a book. Even takes care of him by bringing him a drink. Awwww KookieMonster ❤️
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anddd were back to the others in the upper house. 
SOPE taking the lead with building a fire..
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TAEJIN figuring out the fish with Tae sporting an adorable hat and looking lost but still willing to help his hyung. Cutely Tae later makes Hobi aware on how this is his first time putting a knife on a fish and learning that a fish’s life is previous. AWWWW.. 
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Its the little things that I like to point out, the members gravitate towards who they feel more in tune with. Tae to help Jin and Suga to help Hobi although the opposite would have be interesting to watch lol.
We then get Yoongi thawing out the ribs, Hobi trying to get veggies and LITERALLY pulling out the roots of a poor plant 😂, Yoongi legit pulling up a chair to read while cooking (poor thing haha), Jin crying because hes wasting the fish fillet as hes still learning, Joon adoringly looking at JK while he continues building his glider like a big brother, JK finally giving up and whining that hes gonna ask Hobi for help (HOPEKOOK cutely building a glider? yes please), JK looking over to see what Joon is reading, giving up again and ultimately moving out with Joon looking up like “You leaving me?” and then looking at the camera LOL. 
The 3 cooks up in the upper house are busy in their own thing when Jin asks for the location of the wrapper with SOPE rapping in return making a joke about them being the “rappers” haha. 
Back at the main house Taekook are cooking together. It makes me laugh at the difference between the hyungs cooking above. For starters, JK is cooking sausage for some time but I legit wanna teleport myself over there to tell him “Hey, cut it in pieces, you are burning the bottom of it but the inside is still raw” 😂... thankfully he does that eventually.... Meanwhile little sweet Tae is getting fancy on us and bringing his wine habits into the mix making an appetizer and struggling to open the Jamon packet even though (as the camera clearly zooms in on) the scissors are right next to him...These two are funny. 
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Finally someone acknowledges that Jimin is still alive somewhere LOL and its none other than Yoongi who says it out loud in the kitchen then passes by his room but instead of waking him up just cheers him on then walks away haha (YOONMIN ❤️)
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However that lasts for about 2 seconds before Yoongi comes back and ask Jimin to gather the others from the other house for lunch as the other members are busy and Jimin listens obediently by rolling over and calling Joon and with a hoarse voice letting him know Yoongi’s instructions. Poor Jimin, he sounds unwell 🥺. Joon goes to gather the younglings, Tae makes it up and decides to decorate the cheese with a red umbrella only to look dissatisfied and make it a blue one lol. They then have some random cuts of moments because JK’s sausages appear on the table but we never see him walk up and then he magically walks out the house but dont show any of that.. hmmmm. I’ll leave my thoughts at that since some people might understand what im alluding to :). 
Yoongi is taking out the ribs and accidentally drops a piece and we get the following reactions;
Yoongi: little scream 😱
Joon: Just use the 3 second rule 🙂
JK: Just wash it and then recoat it with more sauce and that should fix it 😄
To which Yoongi can only look slightly flabbergasted at the suggestion and throws it back “Do you wanna eat them?” hahaha
They all finally gather at the table including Jimin and I see that both him and Joon look a little off, I hope they got better soon after but for sure they seemed sick. Jin sweetly talks about always wanting to make the dish he prepared and how complicated it is and refers to it being a hard dish to make for a Family (the BTS bond is one of a kind). All the members admire the sampling of food, Jimin calls out the cuteness of Tae’s umbrella on the cheese, JK helps Jimin break the ribs apart, Tae tells everyone to try his appetizer, the member’s cutely all aww and ohh when they find out he cut the melon 💜, everyone but JK and Tae seem to know the dish, Hobi and Jimin cue to immediately try it for their friend so he doesnt feel left out, after trying it he cutely asks Jimin how it tastes and waits for his response, another awww, soulmate responds with its diff (which probably isnt his taste but eats it anyway for him ) lol and it zooms out with someone asking (sounds like Jin?) what they will have for dinner to have another member whom I cant tell reply LETS STARVE.  These clowns 😂but I get it, it took like hours to cook each meal.
They get ready to clean and apparently prep something for dinner with Joon washing the dishes and eventually asking Jk for help who is busy cooking rice eventually summoning Jimin who heard his name with Jk cutely smacking his butt to tell him Joon called him to then Jimin telling Joon not to worry and he will take over ( I reread this whole sentence and ran out of breath haha but then again im not here for proper grammer.. oopps). This leads us to a sweet domestic Jikook moment where he asks JK to help him dry the dishes and the other obliges and they just fall in routine.. just cute.
Joon heads back to the main house to pack and I honestly think he probably was heading for a doctor check up, he just seemed out of it 🥺
Jimin gets done with the dishes and ends up next to Tae as the soulmates cutely discuss the game he is playing and Tae announces his kills and loses.
Jimin is then next to Hobi in the other house who is getting ready to customize his shoes, he asks Jimin to join but he doesnt seem enthusiastic to the idea so Hobi just goes “I’ll just do what I like” and to me sounding a little sad since this isnt the first time hes asked Jimin to do an activity with him lol. Before walking away Jimin starts singing a song about it. Yoonjin are back again as buddies down the lake fishing and we get a sweet after interview of Yoongi admitting he is not interested in fishing but he does it because Jin invites him. You KNOW you only do those kind of things for your closest friends or family and that was sooo sweet. YOONJIN goals!
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Back at the house we see that Jimin ultimately decided to join Hobi and we get cute JIHOPE moments. Im glad because I honestly got the vide since the beginning of in the soop that he wanted to spend more time with Jimin and hadnt had the chance. They both decorate a shoe each and are careful not to splatter on each other. I also spy with my little eyes... an Iphone?? tsk tsk tsk.. all the others are at least trying and Jimin is like nope hahahaha. If that was indeed a samsung then my bad.
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Next thing we know JK and Jimin are harmonizing and sounded just beautiful, can we get another subunit please? I know they did Who and We dont talk anymore but a legit korean song.. anyone? Ok.. moving on haha
Now here is a group I havent seen hang out together often, I  know yoongi mostly keeps to himself but I was wondering if we would see any interactions longer than just passing food or related to meal prep between Yoongi and JK/Tae but here we are, the 2 kiddos singing and the hyung just watching on. Yay..
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We later see Jimin revealing his excitement over the art project and im glad he enjoyed doing that with Hobi.
Hilariously enough, not long after, while deep into another song, Yoongi tells Jk that he needs to get out to pack. Jk’s reaction? Proceed to continue singing and kinda ignores hahaha. Cue to the camera angle still showing JK doing his thing and an exasperated looking parent *aka yoongi* just staring at him like 😐
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They all head to pack their belongings and we fast forward to them playing games in the upper house. While Jimin is packing he walks out and asks to no one in particular where his hanbok piece is, then sees Jk playing in with the VR and proceeds to go up to tickle him cutely (domestic much? 🥰). This is ironically followed up by mischievous Tae wanting in on the fun by standing up from his spot and moving behind JK and after what seems like thinking it over, carefully tugs his pants down but not with the intention to actually pull them. JK laughs at this and goes “You shouldnt do that” hahaha. Which begs the question, did he know who tried to pull a fast one on him? LOL  
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Everyone is back to their usual roles, the 3 cooks prepping the dinner, the maknae line just doing their thing between JK still in the VR game and Vmin cutely playing games in the corner. Yoongi seems like he NEVER rests, poor thing. He sees them prepping the ramen and suggest they add meat and ends up cooking meat. He is such a DAD and im all for it. While all this is happening there is a whole ruckus in the background and we hear the maknae line having a blast but only get a short glimpse of what is happening when the camera is still on the cooks. Apparently Jimin is now on the VR game and Jk decides to mess with him by taking a controller away and putting it behind his back, as Jimin tries to reach out to find it somehow, mischievous Tae is back at it and steals the other and moves it all the way to the other side presumably above the food shelf LMAO. I gather from the way that Jimin reaches UP and not straight out when reaching towards JK and the controller that this is DEF not the first time this has happened and when it has JK played the “I am taller and you cant reach this” stance, so of course Jimin’s instinct is to reach above his head hahaha.
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They finally get down to eat and they all run to the table, I spook a cute Jikook moment of JM sitting next to JK and pulling the chair up leaving little room LOL, then Hobi still needs help so Jimin proceeds to go in to help with JK not far behind and a cute JiHopeKook hug alongside a Jikook sweet moment (I see that waist caress there JK 👀🥰😂😏) and they all make it back to the table with their meals ready. Tae makes sure to remind Jimin there is also meat for him to grab. Aww, ive lost count of the times that these two have been looking out for the other and its just so subtle but sweet af. 
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Its time to finally go homeeeee. They all decide on who’s going in what car and then suddenly Jin remembers to check his fishing rod. 
Now... you may be wondering why I called this Hobi’s revenge. Well well well.. I want to say that slowly, Hobi decided to butter Jin up by hanging out all day long to eventually go full betrayal mode muahahaha. I kid I kid. But as life turns out, Hobi was presented with an opportunity to return the favor of Jin’s BV4 master plan to abandon him in New Zealand. Well well well... how the tables have turned. He tells his plans to the other nearby and they immediately agree 😂. Cue to a total pandemonium... Hobi rushing them in, Yoongi slowly walking to his car because of course he aint gonna run, Jimin trying to drag his suitcase, Tae running from the house in a cute manner probably going hehehehehe as he hears the plan, Jungkook walking up to them with no idea whats going on, having like 1 second to understand it, and then immediately running unsure of what to do until Jimin goes “Help me load this in!”. 
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Jin finally approaches and they get in in time and start driving off. Jin finally goes heyyyyyyyy and cant believe what is happening, shouts out Yoongi, like you cant do this to me LOLOL. You can see Yongi’s big ass smile through the windshield which is even funnier. For a second he stops and it seems like Yoongi decides to have mercy on him, even open the door for him to stick his suitcase in. Hobi, Jungkook and Jimin seem to believe it as they are seen walking back up away from the car guessing the plan is a no go. That is until Yoongi goes full AGUST D and says “Who's the king, who's the boss?”... JK but lets just pretends he says that 😂, and literally does start driving off. Jihopekook see this and run their asses back to the car like little kids and laughing all cute as can be HEHEHEHEHE and they end up leaving Jin there LOL. Revenge is a dish best served cold and you just got served Jinnie.
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Legend says Hobi slept well that night. 
The end. 
Hope you had fun reading this long post, probably will never do another since it took forever but I had fun making these gifs and pics and typing in my 2 cents hahaha. Borahae everyone 💜
88 notes · View notes
fizzysquish · 4 years
Note
I'd really like to hear about your opinion on the ahit fandom if youre ok with sharing? love your writing by the way!!
Oh wow I actually didn't expect anyone to wanna know yifhfkhck
And thank you!
Alright this is.. Gonna be long and most likely have some spelling errors every now and then but bear with me.
Tw- talk of pedophilia, swear words
Tldr at the very bottom
The ahit fandom..
...sucks
But also doesnt? Its kind of hard to explain. In general, if you just glance at the fandom it will either come across as pure or as a shit show. This fandom has some serious problems.
This fandom has a lot of drama happy people in it. Im not going to name names or anything, cause there's no point, but it does. A single scroll through the tags will tell you that much. And this isnt me saying 'people can't have opinions' or what have you. What im saying is that there are people in this fandom who live just to stir up drama and make others angry.
Or, in a lot of cases, instead of just saying a persons opinion, they'll swear up a storm and say they hate certain people or call certain types of fans 'the problem with the fandom' and like.. That just makes you sound like an asshole honestly. And it hurts people, too.
(And nobody can tell me it doesn't. Ive had to reassure too many venting and upset friends because of it. It hurts people.)
Also, because you know I have to mention this and it fits perfectly after this first paragraph- subcon. Snatcher.
I legitimately do not understand why some people hate snatcher so much. And I also cannot understand why some people will specifically target snatcher fans at times.
Snatcher is a big comfort character for a lot of people. Wether its for personal reasons (ex- mine is because of my own past dealing with abuse and trauma), or if its just because they make someone happy.
Snatcher is a comfort character, and the whole story surrounding subcon is so so interesting and fun to explore? And so what if people enjoy it? I can understand that it can get frustrating seeing so much of it, especially if you like something else, but that is no reason to target snatcher fans (or.. Any fans in general) and/or make people feel bad for having fun.
Fuck, thats how you make people leave the fandom entirely. I understand it can get frustrating, but just.. Try to be nicer? Try not to make people feel bad for having fun? Please?
And before anyone tells me "it's not about that!", i want to point out that I often see posts like "don't let the snatcher fans see this-" and other things along that.
If you want me to believe its not about that, prove it. Cause as far as i can tell, it certainly is.
(Also as a note- who cares is someones thirsty??? Like
Just block them and avoid if it bugs you so much?? It's not that hard dude)
-THIS PARAGRAPH MENTIONS PEDOPHILLIA, SKIP IF NEEDED-
Another serious thing to mention is the pedophilia in this fandom. Feel free to skip this part  if it makes you uncomfortable, but its something i need to talk about.
There are pedophiles in this fandom. Ive seen the art and the fics (no matter how many times i scrub my eyes, because its disgusting and horrible and just- eugh-). There are pedophiles here and its easy to come across them because they just.. Aren't afraid to post in main tags. People follow them. People support them. Granted, not everyone, and generally most people know to avoid em, but they're still there. They havent been kicked out or ostracized. And it disgusts me.
I know this whole paragraph could be argued that "that doesn't represent the fandom!" Or whatever but.. This is a younger audiences welcome game guys. Its advertised as 'the cutest 3d platformer!'. Kids can and do play this game.
There is pedophilia in this fandom, and i feel its important to mention.
-END OF PARAGRAPH-
Also, some people in this fandom just.. Suck. Plain and simple. Some people in this fandom are just genuine assholes. And said asshole just like harassing others and causing problems. There's a literal shit ton of drama and problems with this fandom, and honestly it's.. So dumb??
This is literally just a video game and people are just having fun. If there's a problem, treat it like a grown up and either ask the causes to stop and why, or block and move on. Simple.
Now lets move onto the good parts of this fandom, yeah?
First of all- there are some serious sweethearts and amazing people in this fandom. While there are some that suck, there are more that are actually just here for a good time and to make good content.
Ive met some of the nicest people ivs ever known thanks go this fandom. Ive created friends who I seriously consider family. And most people ive talked with or even just ran across have been pretty cool.
This fandom is also generally very welcoming to new people (minus the assholes), ive noticed. Some people get into it really easily just because eveyones generally friendly and supportive. Which is always great!
Also, the fanworks people in this fandom create. Can i just talk about how fucking talented people are??? Its pretty amazing to see how people create things for this fandom.
People will take the story that gears for breakfast showed and they'll run with it, and create these amazing au’s and stories and 'what ifs' from it. Its just.. So amazing to watch people use what we've been given just weaved it into something.
(And this isnt even going over the mods and the stories those create, which always amaze me.)
So with all that laid out, do i think the fandom good or bad?
...i think its both.
The fandom itself has some serious problems in it. It gets unnecessary drama nearly every other month or so for no reason. There are some truly disgusting people and some absolute assholes, but the majority of people are actually pleasant, fun to be around, and welcoming. As long as you be careful of who you follow and use critical thinking skills, its not so bad.
Im not going to lie to someone and say it's all honkey dory. In this fandom, you will inevitably interact with either a creep, an asshole, or both at some point. There is a likely chance that you will have your feelings hurt in some way in this fandom. Ive see it, ive heard about it, ive experienced it.
All that being said, if you curate your viewing, follow people that seem/are cool, and use the block feature (don't. Debate it, if youre unsure about someone just block em)... Its a very fun fandom filled with both heartfelt creations and memes, and has plenty of potential new friends.
So its both good and bad, yeah.
Tldr-
Fandom has lotsa issues but overall is fun, just make sure curate your experience for yourself and dont let what drama pops up or what assholes say get to you.
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cheekbites-moved · 3 years
Text
ok i still havent gotten the secret ending but farming for it might take me a bit so im gonna make a thoughts post for age of calamity now:
Major spoilers obvs so ill put it under a read more
things i enjoyed:
revali beatdown simulator
the controls for the divine beasts are a bit clunky, but i think the angles they used for them did an excellent job at really making the player feel like we were actually controlling a divine beast. so i think it was done well.
link’s personality really gets to shine full force in this game with the amount of cut scenes and it was wonderful to see
every character clearly had a lot of love put into how they operate. they truly all feel unique, & all of their play styles fit them really well in my opinion
the game does a really good job of making you understand what a real threat the monsters are. like in botw they’re intimidating at first, but once you’re far enough into the game they become just an inconvenience to work around if anything. this game managed to actually make certain monsters intimidating for me again, and i think that’s a real accomplishment
the blight battles are actually somewhat challenging in this game and that is truly a commendable achievement lol i think all the bosses are good tbh. i didnt rly dislike or not enjoy any of them.
the way daruk and link’s friendship & urbosa’s motherly relationship towards zelda got to shine was. so good. it’s all i could’ve ever wanted
seeing the descendants again was really nice & it was awesome to see the champions interacting with them!! especially sidon and mipha omggggg. that was. really fucking good shit
kohga. just. kohga in general. getting to see more of him was really rad, he’s such a fun guy! and his english va was Excellent. you could really tell he was having a lot of fun playing him, and it was lovely to see! :)
zelda getting to really shine in this game was also lovely to see. and her being so assertive and badass by the end? omg. it was so wonderful especially after botw. man. 
the combat is done very well imo. im rly glad that they took so many elements from botw, but also added their own flares to make it feel fresh. it was rad.
sidon’s tagline is “winning smile” and his power is “boundless optimism” and i think that’s beautiful
the music in this game is SOOOOO good oh my god. multiple times during playing i had to pause to just appreciate it. it’s pretty much all remixes of botw with a few originals for the new characters, but they all slap. there was not a single song in this game i didn’t like. it is definitely one of my favorite video game soundtracks officially. maybe one of my favorite overall soundtracks in general tbh.
the visuals obviously look just like botw, but it still looked fucking gorgeous at some points. like. man. they really went off to make it look not only faithful to botw as far as appearance goes, but also as far as capturing botw’s beauty and it was. excellent to see!
if anything is true to botw’s backstory, it’s definitely how op link is. cause he was established to be op in botw, & when u finish botw he is also op as hell. he is so fun to play as the higher leveled he gets. he absolutely kicks ass. especially with a two-handed weapon??? daaaaammmmnnn. thats my badass baby boy!!!!
link eating rocks not once, but TWICE. just showing PEAK gremlin energy. 10/10 for those scenes they were great
the ending was really beautiful actually and i did cry like a little baby for it what about it
things i didn’t like:
obviously first and foremost.. this is not the game we were advertised. and no matter how much i overall enjoyed the game, it will always have some layer of being tainted attached to it due to the false advertising. this is not the prequel we thought we’d be getting. & not using “prequel” specifically doesn’t matter when all the advertising, including the box art talks about this being the story of what happened 100 years ago. with no indication it wasn’t the story of what happened 100 years ago in the botw timeline, but a separate universe/timeline entirely. i do hope we get dlc for the game at some point giving us what we were advertised, but at the same time... rly wish that the story that’s in the final game was dlc, & the story we were promised was the original :/ or just having the game have two separate storylines originally would’ve been cool. i just wish it wasn’t falsely advertised. 
fort hateno can fucking eat my whole entire shit WHY is that part so needlessly obnoxious compared to everything else oh my god
being forced to fulfill revali’s power fantasy TWICE hurt my soul
fuck any mission where you have to protect the useless hylian guards. i hate them. they suck.
the ai for player characters when you aren’t playing as them can also be pretty useless. it was really frustrating failing missions because my fellow party members weren’t helping me, and i was basically expected to be in two places at once to get shit done myself. :/ ik you can just switch between characters to make it easier, but like. i like playing as link the most. he’s my favorite character, & ofc since he’s mandatorily played for most of the story, he’s gonna be the most leveled up character regardless so he’s just the best to play as in general especially for harder missions. it was annoying to be forced to play as other people Solely cause the ai was so useless.
king rhoam’s attempt at a redemption arc. i’m not sorry that i just fucking hate this man. i don’t mind him entirely in botw bc you can see clear, genuine remorse during the cut scene at the end of the great plateau. but the redemption arc he gets in this game? after all the fucking shit he does in this game? especially when after his ~redemption arc~ i had to sit through a cut scene of him being an absolute fucking asshole to baby zelda after her mother just died????? absolutely fuck that shit. i don’t appreciate that crap at fucking all. he’s a verbally abusive piece of shit and i hate his guts.
obviously there was gonna be some retconning of how certain things worked in botw in order to make this kinda game work but the way sheikah technology works in this game is so goddamn confusing i do not get it. the works of botw are never outright said or explained completely, but it’s straightforward enough that it doesn’t really matter. this game does try to explain certain things and it just becomes. really clunky and confusing very quickly. 
the story is alright, i guess, but..... really confusing/convoluted as hell at times to a point that it’s. really fucking distracting. especially in comparison to how straightforward botw’s story is. like..... cannot help but be annoyed that such a problem wouldn’t have been a thing if they stuck to botw’s story.
i was sad when the egg thing died but i dont like the egg thing.... it is the MAIN reason shit was retconned so much & i just. dont get its purpose. but i did really like the reveal that zelda made it herself. that was good shit!
also the egg glitched out like. a LOT. idk what the fuck was going on with the poor thing but there was multiple times during a cut scene or when i was just sitting there that it was freaking out in the background and it was rly weird
elemental overworld boss monsters................. obnoxious. especially elemental guardians like goddamn bro what the fuck
i know warriors’ games aren’t about exploring anyway but the limitations for exploring was really sad/frustrating. this is still somewhat the world of hyrule before the calamity, which is something we’ve always wanted to see. not being able to explore even the immediate area at certain points because of shit like timed missions was really upsetting, man. :( i just wanted to see hyrule castle Before the calamity why was did they have to rob us like that.....
creepy corrupted egg’s transformation. why. what was that. what the fuck
even though i did enjoy the boss fights, it did get. incredibly taxing eventually to have to fight the SAME bastards so many times. like yeah botw is also guilty of this with the blights, but goddamn.... at least i have a choice to avoid certain encounters with them? this game has you fighting the same bitches like upwards of 3-4 times. it was. really annoying tbh. like the fights themselves are enjoyable, but damn we added new characters and it still inevitably lacked variety in boss fights.
no playable kass >:( if he’s available later in dlc then fine but i wish he was playable in the original game. so many random choices you’d never expect are. why couldn’t he also be there >:(
overall:
it will forever have that sour taste for the false advertising attached to it unfortunately, but that aside, i overall did enjoy the game! i think it has a lot to love in spite of the issues i encountered. as someone who has this as their first warriors game as well, it did lend itself to letting me see the appeal of them. idk if i’ll get more, but i do get why they’re so beloved/popular now. it was an alright time, with some amazing highlights that i’m gonna think back on very fondly for a very, very long time. if i had to rate it..... 7/10 
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zuzuslastbraincell · 4 years
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Ty lee (i feel like i havent seen many of you ty lee thots)
honestly love her!! tbh i don’t have many that others haven’t said more clearly and more interestingly
Why I like them
she’s a character with lots of hidden motives, depths, and complexity, who guards her true thoughts and opinions quite closely, but simultaneously *is* what she advertises herself as: a happy-go-lucky girl. like i don’t think her cheerfulness and her enthusiasm for auras and spirituality is entirely inauthentic - it’s just that she’s adept at using her own enthusiasm to mask her real feelings and thoughts. like there’s a lot to her there.
Why I don’t
i mean, she props up an imperialist coup of ba sing se by stealing the disguises of warriors who honour the avatar. objectively not good. 
Favorite episode (scene if movie)
oh, the beach, hands down. we finally get to see a glimpse of what troubles and upsets ty lee, and how she struggles. we also get to see her angry, instead of hiding negative emotions through evasion.
Favorite season/movie
book two. oh sure book three adds depth and complexity but we barely see her. book two just has so many good lines and moments - the clumps or tufts debate, the first time we see how devastating chi blocking is, the match against the kyoshi warriors (underrated), all the stuff with the drill... classic honestly.
Favorite line
okay if i’m honest “you’re not prettier than us!” at the kyoshi warriors cracks me up. i know it’s a line that is almost definitely written by misogynists who believe beauty/prettiness is central to girls/women and how they see themselves and how they should see themselves, but when you remove that context it’s just so jarring and it screams baby gay to me, or some kind of issues that need to be sorted out.
Favourite outfit
oh she looks great as a kyoshi warrior! love her there :)
OTP
okay i love mailee and tysuki equally for different reasons.
mailee i love because the whole concept of love being about communication and building your own language and finding ways to speak only to each other is key to it, especially given the toxic environment they are in s2-3 with azula, they’re incapable of being honest with words and have to communicate in other ways. but also i think there’s a lot of good angst potential. as well as hiding it from azula, they have so little time to themselves, and are so often surveilled, that it is difficult to ascertain each other’s feelings. they’re not sure of whether they can trust *each other*, and there’s a sense of them wanting to reach out and confirm but not being able to... this is complicated further by mai’s relationship to zuko, which does ty lee read as genuine or as one of azula’s manipulations? when mai betrays azula for zuko, does ty lee ever expect to be loved back? the idea of them together is super sweet like goth/pink gfs rights but there’s depth there... complexity
as for tysuki, it’s like... this is very much an *interpretation* of how it could go down, but i love the idea that ty lee is able to find a sense of home and belonging and identity and selfhood in the kyoshi warriors, to build roots, to not just find herself but build herself, despite her expectations that it’d last six months to a year. and i love the idea of suki having an equal, who can take her in a fight, who can help her shoulder the difficulty of teaching and organising but brings some levity and mischief and fun back, after it feels like the war has sapped it out of them with responsibility after responsibility. i think suki’s groundedness could be exactly what ty lee needs and i think suki could do with a partner who can pull her own weight but also, make her smile. i like the idea too of ty lee really finding a place to call her home after all of the mess in the fire nation between her family and azula, away from all of that... it’s a little idyllic, but it’s what she needs. 
Brotp
oh ty lee & zuko!! there’s potential here, for sure. like zuko would need to see ty lee as more than ‘azula’s friend’, but they’re both emotional people who are outspoken about how they feel - it’s just zuko’s earnest and honest and wears his heart on his sleeve, whereas ty lee uses her reputation of ‘wearing her heart on her sleeve’ to hide it, & similar to how i think zuko’s inability to lie/emotional honesty is a big comfort and help to mai, i think it would similarly help ty lee. i really love the idea of these two in particular being able to talk about being hurt by azula together and help each other heal. but also i just like the ‘unlikely friendship’ dynamic of these two, and the possibility of zuko being able to overlook ty lee’s reputation to get to know her for real. they’ve both been overlooked/undervalued in their respective families, and both left the fire nation because of it (albeit in very different circumstance), are both well travelled and very independent for their respective ages, there’s definitely ‘on the road’ stories they could share, and both have struggled to find themselves in different ways. there’s a lot of common threads.
also i think ty lee & aang would be wonderful as well :) i think a lot of aang’s initial gaang - zuko, katara, and sokka - would probably want to head home after their adventures in the war, and i imagine aang ends up finding new companions to travel with. i like the idea of ty lee, after the kyoshi warriors, being one of these.
Head Canon
she’s a lesbian! :^)
just based off ‘the beach’ episode mainly, and how reluctant she seems around boys in that.
Unpopular opinion
hmmm i don’t think i have any?
A wish
asides from being happy and contented in general? would love to see her join aang’s second group of companions. i think toph, ty lee, aang, & potentially two new characters would be a really fun (and chaotic) little crew :^). also would just love her to realise the brotp potential with aang and zuko as outlined above, and get to date a nice girl of some kind.
OH I would also love more family background on her & exploration of the possible air nomad heritage ty lee theory, i’d love to see some of that. would make aang’s relationship even more meaningful (but potentially, complicated! having heritage doesn’t necessarily mean you’re part of that group).
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen
being azula’s designated healer and makes-her-redemption-arc happen. i already outlined today why that’d be bad for zuko and i think, while their relationship is different, it would be a negative experience for ty lee as well. azula is her peer, a peer who has hurt her quite deeply through the manipulation she pulled to get ty lee to give up her dreams and come along and uses manipulation as a primary way of interacting with people (even if like, i think they might have had a genuine friendship as kids, that poisons a relationship quickly), then tried to kill mai when turned against her... like, ty lee has good reasons to want to stay away from her, and honestly ty lee needs to heal as well, needs time and space. she should not be responsible for her well being full stop, but especially in this situation. i’m not ruling out the possibility of reconciliation but ty lee and azula would need to ‘hard reset’ their relationship and that would mean plenty of time apart, azula coming forward with apologies, azula making amends, and slowly, over time, building up trust. but honestly, even if azula is genuine in wanting to make amends, i’m not sure risking her wellbeing for that process would be best for ty lee anyway - i’ve personally cut people off in my life for my own wellbeing for less (although really what decision is best depends on your personality outlook how comfortable you feel your support network etc. a multitude of factors). regardless of your interpretation of their dynamic, ty lee does not exist for azula, and should not exist to further her character development but also as a character in her own right at this point.
5 words to best describe them
cheerful, chaotic, complex, perceptive, pink! 
My nickname for them
“prettier than you <3” (after the kyoshi warriors line, but with a pink heart emoji because of course she would, but also because it’s just funny, lol. ty lee has a mean streak)
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so i’d really like to finish my guardian takedown lore analysis, but honestly the game isn’t really fun to play at the moment anymore (even with the health debuffs they added) so I think im going to be taking a break for now because I’m just not having fun anymore.
this game has a lotta mechanical problems i think need to be addressed so im gonna summarize it as bullet points below. I’ll play the new dlc when it drops, but idk if i’ll be on more than that (grinding, end-game stuff) until they make some serious changes. I’ve been playing (near) daily since launch, followed the patch/hotfix notes every single week, and my patience has finally, FINALLY run dry, especially with that really disappointing Phase 1 Patch and then the hotfix this week not adding anything else. What is the balancing team doing??? 😩
tl;dr: FIX THE VAULT HUNTERS!!!!
anyway. That’s all I needed to get outta my system. I might log on to this blog every now and again to post some random shit that pops into my head (probably with regards to my AU), but I’m not going to be actively playing and posting for the time being. Goodbye (for now), and here’s hoping the new DLC is good!! 
guardian takedown only problems:
there’s a lot of waiting around, and sometimes it’s not explicitly stated that you’re waiting for something, so you’ll be lost on what to do next (not sure if that’s a dialogue glitch or not)
the crystal charge insta-death is bull. just. what the hell. at least make it so you just have to start over. killing ur players for failing a “puzzle” that they then have to fight all the way back to is so infuriating.
dying because you fell off a platforming puzzle is also bull. 
i remember playing the first DMC on my playstation in middle school and having a conniption over the part in the observatory(? it’s been a hot minute since I played DMC 1) with the disappearing/invisible platforms. I h a t e jumping puzzles. why are they in a section of the game where death is semi-permanent and a detriment to your teammates. i tried the takedown 2x with friends and both times one friend didn’t make the first big jump to the temple and had to wait for our inevitable deaths. that’s so unfair to them.
there’s absolutely no reason for a boss to have 12 fuckin immunity phases. 4 per health bar with 3 health bars? Who the fuck designed this? *pumps shotgun* i just wanna talk. 
i appreciate a tasteful immunity phase every now and again (the ones in the Valkyrie fight are actually p reasonable), but christ. that is overkill. I don’t mind the main boss fight, since u can end those early through certain actions, but jesus. the mid-boss fight is annoying as hell. you spend more time running from the immunity phases and finding the damn boss than u do actually shooting it.
drop rates are crap, which I guess should be expected given what happened with the Maliwan Takedown and the handful of months it took for them to fix that, but also you think they’d have learned.
in the maliwan takedown there’s a sense of progression thru the facility after you kill each area’s batch of enemies, but in this one it’s... dampened by the crystal charging sequences. you kill all the enemies in an area, press a button, and now you have to kill 3x that number of enemies in the same area, expect you’re just standing there motionless. It’s not fun.
the crystal charging stuff is just not fun in general. standing in a square is not entertaining. it’s worse that it was clearly designed for 3+ players when a majority of people play/grind solo
i gotta admit the boss fights just aren’t as fun as the Maliwan Takedown fights overall. I felt like a real badass fighting Wotan for the first time, but the main boss for this Takedown is kind of a bitch. Wotan’s fight is chaos, there’s so much shit happening at once and you don’t really have time to process everything and I love it. This one is p meh...
This would be fine and I’d 100% not care that much if there weren’t all these OTHER problems
General Issues with the Game
There’s no endgame stuff to play outside of the takedowns. 
I assume they’re working on the first raid given some stuff I found in the Guardian Takedown files, but I really wish they’d keep the seasonal events/areas. They give us the option to disable/enable them while they’re ‘active’, just give us the ability to do it whenever we want.
when i hop on i either run through Athenas (my favorite map), or farm a boss or two. I have all the loot i really need from the maliwan takedown/elsewhere, and the guardian takedown just... isn’t fun atm, so i have nothing to do.
I’ve reset my playthru multiple times to play the main story at m10, but u can only play it (and the dlc) so many times
Mayhem levels and modifiers are a hot m e s s
a majority of the modifiers just aren’t fun to play with
they incorporated like 2-3 fun modifiers (from the community), then added a bunch that straight-up aren’t. I’m fine with the game being more difficult, but at least give us modifiers that make it more entertaining to play at a higher level instead of more annoying. I like the ones that have trade-offs or add new ‘enemies’, but I hate the ones that just straight up reduce your damage output.
a majority of the weapons with the mayhem 10 anointment (scaling) do not work on mayhem 10 (we’ll go more in-depth with this later)
Player Characters (Vault Hunters!!!) are also a hot mess and a lot of problems plaguing them haven’t been fixed SINCE LAUNCH
theyre literally the basis of the game and its balance. why havent you guys fixed them yet. stop adding new content until they’re fixed. no new skill trees until the base 3 trees work ON EVERY CHARACTER.
seriously. Why is amara p much limited to using Phasegrasp. Why does Iron Bear not matter to Moze except to proc anointments. MAKE ALL ACTION SKILLS EQUAL AND HAVE HEFT.
i wrote an essay here about it bc i feel that strongly about this
SERIOUSLY FIXING UR VAULT HUNTERS WILL MAKE BALANCING SO MUCH EASIER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU THEY ARE THE BASE OF UR BALANCING WOES
ZANE IS STILL UNUSABLE WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD CLASS MOD!!!!!!!!!!!
MOZE IS SCREWED BC HER DAMAGE IS TOO RELIANT ON ASE ANOINTMENTS!!
AMARA DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING MELEE BUILD AS THE ADVERTISED MELEE CHARACTER???
FL4K’S HEADCOUNT SKILL IS S T I L L BROKEN EVER SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE MALIWAN TAKEDOWN
ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING TO THE COMMUNITY *PLEASEEEEEEE*
BUFF AND FIX THE GODDAMN VAULT HUNTERS
Anointments were a mistake. Damage end-game is wayyyy too reliant on them
anoints should have a maximum of, like, a 20% damage bonus. the damage necessary to kill enemies *should be coming from the VHs themselves*. i don’t care if you have to revamp every single Vault Hunter’s skill trees and buff them all by 9000%. THEY DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT
at the moment in m10 there really isn’t much build diversity *even between Vault Hunters*. We’re all using the same 5 guns (OPQ System. Kaoson. idk. fuckin brainstormer? is that still a thing? jesus fuck) with the same 3 anointments (100% on ASE, cryo while SNTL, and 300% while 90%).
you want to diversify builds like you said during the gameplay reveal???? you want our choice in Vault Hunter to actually fuckin matter???? FIX THEM!!!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEAL DAMAGE WITHOUT STUPID POWERFUL LEGENDARIES AND ANOINTMENTS!!!
Anoints also shouldn’t be common. At all. They should be, like, Pearl rarity. To let that happen, their damage needs to be tuned way the fuck down (again, 20ish % bonus MAX) and ALL ANOINTS NEED TO BE USEFUL IN SOME WAY
NOBODY IS GOING TO USE THE AIRBORNE OR SLIDING ANOINTMENTS JUST REMOVE THEM ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
obviously these changes can’t happen because they fucked up and buckled down with everything being anointed in m10, but still
imagine a world where the VHs actually did damage on their own without anointments and the damage buff from them was just an incentive to grind for the 100% perfect weapon and NOT A REQUIREMENT TO DEAL DAMAGE
>:(
A majority of gear is borderline worthless at M10
I’m fine with the difficulty of M10, i should let it be known. The enemy health isn’t really the problem IF ALL GUNS ACTED THE SAME AS THE OPQ SYSTEM
ffs.
you know, if you fixed ur vault hunters so they all did damage with just purple weapons (abt the same damage as legendaries w/o special effects) and removed the anointment requirement from late-game play, balancing your guns would be sooo much easier. you know. just saying.
right now only 10% (im being generous) of guns in the game are viable. 90% are worthless. We need AT LEAST 60-70% viable at M10. WHERE IS MY BUILD DIVERSITY. WHY ARE ALL LEGENDARIES NOW JUST “HEY THIS GUN IS STRONGER THAN THE LAST 4 WE RELEASED. HAVE FUN”
how to fix this problem? do as above: BUFF YOUR PLAYER CHARACTERS. MAKE ANOINTMENTS LESS STRONG.
then, at least the 10% already strong weapons would be stupid strong and OP as fuck, BUT AT LEAST WE COULD HAVE BUILD VARIETY!!! I don’t care if other people are dummy strong one-shotting everything in sight. I don’t! so long as they don’t play with me, I couldn’t care less!!! I want to be able to play with the unique, interesting legendaries. instead of the OPQ System. which, by the way, I dislike compared to the normal Q-System. let me use the frozen heart shield and the infiltrator mod. I don’t wanna be chained to the Seein’ Dead anymore :(
honestly at this point im starting to think removing slag was a mistake bc then at least we could use guns that aren’t solely damage-based guns. you know how fucked up you’ve got me that im thinking maybe slag wouldn’t be so bad this time around??? YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP B A D.
FIX THE GAME
IM TAKING A BREAK
MAYBE I’LL BE LESS UPSET WHEN I COME BACK FOR THE DLC BUT HOT. DIGGITY. SHIT.
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well i got home a lot earlier than i thought i would today, which i’m happy for seeing as the place was filled to the brim with people not wearing masks. like this place is normally decently busy this time of year but it was packed to the goddam brim today for some reason. anyway! i took pictures of the place for reference, and whenever i get around to carving the pumpkins we picked out i’ll share pics of that as well. this is lowkey going to be an advertisement for the place because if you ever visit the central valley you really should come around here, especially if you are/have kids it’s amazing. starting from the top.
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[image description: a picture of a creek bluff. in the foreground are some ground brush cast in shadow. in the middle ground is some long yellow grasses in patchy sunlight taking up the space where a creek would run if there was rain around here (california). slightly up the hill is a small footbrigde connecting a path that goes from left to right along the side of the bluff. just behind it in the background is the side of a small hill that’s covered in the same long yellow grass from before, and the sky is clear and blue where at the top of the bluff. scattered throughout are oak trees, some small and young, and a few that are old, tall, & mighty. end image description.]
y’all are so lucky i managed to get pictures without people there were so damn many. my older brother was freaking out the entire time about catching corona (he’s nd but he’s in denial about it) and ive decided that for the sake of this post & onwards i’ll be referring to my older brother as Idon & my younger brother as Dr. Lion given that those are dumb unused nicknames we have for each other and it’s easier than referring to them as my older & younger brother all the time. anyway the whole area is set up in this lil creekbed area and normally when it’s winter & it’s not hot n stuff (twas decently hot today, tshirt shorts & no jacket weather in the sun) there’s a bit of water that runs through it. the rest of the time it’s dry and people will walk straight to it to get to the bluffside trail that features a handful of small attractions like a tiny castle, tunnel, metal slide, & other things that appeal to all the children that can fit in them. this place is basically the hotspot for any and all children in this county youve just gotta come here some time it’s so damn fun. there’s even a swinging rope bridge over the creek that leads to the bluffside trail that’s raised way up in the air and is an honestly harrowing experience for every kid who goes across it i could talk about this place for hours. i havent even brought up the train line that goes around the tree farm & things at the top of the bluff. anyway
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[image description: a picture of a pumpkin patch, taken from behind a few stalks of corn. the field is full of pumpkin plants with their large, green leaves extended into the air, though there’s no pumpkins visible. there are various flowers i believe to be carnations dotted throughout the patch, in shades of  light pink, magenta, orange, and red, and a few stalks of corn also grow in the patch. in the distance a field of corn that doubles as a small maze grows off to the right, and lining the background is a row of large trees that grow along the creekbed behind them. the sky is bright blue & clear from the upper left part of the picture it can be seen in. end image description]
so one attraction of this place (one thing that gives it such an appeal to people who want aesthetic pictures for instagram & whatnot) is that they always set up little pumpkin people all over the place, taking various poses. when i say pumpkin people i mean basically scarecrows, clothing stuffed with straw & posed doing things, but with pumpkins for heads. most of them are out of the way enough that people cant mess with them but can take pictures like i did here. oh can you not see it? well let me just zoom in for you-
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[image description: a zoomed in picture of the scene described above. clearly shown is a scarecrow-type figure with a pumpkin for a head standing up in the field. it’s wearing a rather nondescript grey shirt, blue jeans, and a floppy brown farmer’s hat. it’s surrounded by pumpkin plants, carnations, & corn stalks, with a corn field to the back & more large trees casting shadows to the back, as indicated above. there are also some large leaves from corn plants directly in front of the camera where it’s taking the picture, taking up a large chunk of the picture. end image description]
here it is! this is the only one i took a picture of because it was the only one i could possibly find the time to capture without it being swarmed by other people. i was really lucky to take these pictures without anyone in the background here it’s honestly hard to tell from what i’m showing but there was an obscene amount of people there, hence why we barely spent 1.5 hours there. i suspect idon’s unending stream of complaints and fretting and honest request to tell every member of our extended family that we’d have to quarantine for the next 2 weeks got us out a bit faster than we wouldve otherwise done but eh. that stuff’s especially ironic considering dr lion’s going back to physical school starting this week but hey what can ya do. we wore our masks. homemade by my mother because she had nothing better to do the first few weeks of quarantine and now i’m just rambling about my home life. moving on
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[image description: a picture of a string of lightbulbs, focused on one in particular that’s completely shattered. behind, various trees, oaks being the only ones i can name, fill up almost the entire background. blue sky can be seen through the branches of a tree to the upper right portion of the picture. for the most part only the lightbubs & the tree closest to it, taking up the rightmost portion of the photo, are illuminated by the sun. end image description]
this is making me realize i didnt take many good pictures. i only took this one because ive got a story behind it but hey i’ll be coming back this winter to pick out a pine tree probably bc they double as a pine tree farm as well as a pumpkin patch and general creekbluff attraction so i can get some better pictures of the area when there’s less people. hopefully. anyway you see how that lightbulb’s broken? well i being the lil aspiring biologist i am saw a bone lying in the dirt next to our car when we were leaving and immediately picked it up. it was picked clean, almost certainly by ants or something, and i was kinda hoping it was the product of some owl because there are a lot of those in the area around the creek, but my family decided twas but the product of some other family’s picnic there. what it was doing in the parking lot i’d love to know, but i couldnt bring it with me (”that’s disgusting” it’s picked clean dirty & dusty lying in the dirt i guarantee it’s not got anyone’s dna on it any more but that of the chicken it came from) so i take a step closer to the treeline to throw it away. and then of course where does it go after i release it from my hand but directly into one of the lightbulbs hanging up by a string all along the outside of the parking lot. whoopsy. so of course i take a picture as soon as i’m done explaining it to my family & freaking out about doing actual damage to this beloved creek pumpkin patch/pine tree farm. then we have a brief argument on whether to tell the staff about it (there’s actual broken glass what else can we do) and so we drive up to the guy sitting there watching people leave, giving directions, our mom rolls down the window, and i, on the opposite side of the car from him, barely get out a proclamation along the lines of “there’s a broken lightbulb down in the parking lot with glass on the ground” he says “ok sure” and we leave. it takes me like 5 minutes to calm down from that which i dont get because we do a whole expedition up to the top of the bluff to see the construction theyre doing to the train line that theyve been working on for years & we dont even get out of the car to walk around because a. social distancing we already took off our masks & they have to be tied on it’s too much work to put it back on and b. the sheer number of cars there was menacing so we just sorta drove around and glanced down the side of the bluff to the best of our abilities. god that’s a damn paragraph. it’s been an hour. <3 i guess
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swordbreakerz · 4 years
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✨ for all of them, 🎥 for treasure planet and guardians of gahoole, 🍀 for 9-1-1 and penumbra, 📃 for unicorn chronicles, 🏳️‍🌈 for howls, treasure planet and legend of zelda, and 💎 for any ones you have facts for lol
you spoil me uwu
🎥 - ok for treasure planet, gotta be the 12 years later scene in the beginning and the zoom in to the spaceport, the way it transitions from jim reading under the blankets to him flying on his solar surfer is so chefs kiss, and just like. everything about to the spaceport lmao, fr guardians definitely the scene where soren flies through the fire and then blows up the pulley system to get rid of the flecks energy, bro when hes flying above it all holding the lantern before he dives down to save them? chills
🍀 - you know im on that projection shit w/ juno steel, ive truly never like connected with a character like that before and he’s really really helped me thru my recovery and transition lol, fr 911 uhhh ig buck or eddie? i havent Thought About It or like consumed it enough times yet to rly settle on someone but fr now,,, they
🏳️‍🌈 - ok for howls, Everyone Is Bi/Pan, howl is trans and autistic and i will die on that hill, fr treasure planet jim and cpt amelia are both trans and both of them + doppler are autistic, fr loz link is trans, autistic and semi nonverbal and communicates primarily with asl, post twilight princess zelda says fuck it and finds a way back into the twilight realm and she midna and link hang out, most of these boil down to everyone i love is trans gay and autistic because i say so lmaooo
📃 - OK SO. without like, spoiling too many plot points, our main character is cara and she lives with her grandmother. her mom is dead and dad is out of the picture. one day theyre getting chased by these people that her grandma knows and cara gets thrown into an alternate realm full of fantasy creatures using her grandmothers amulet. she meets a unicorn named lightfoot and a bunch of other rad people and basically, starts a journey to save that world from the Hunters. the Hunters are an organisation who specifically hate unicorns and want them all dead, led by Beloved, and cara and her friends have to try and stop them from entering the world and wiping them out. its sooo so so good and i highly recommend it cause i have no one to talk to about it please god
✨ - oh boy uh, well. im just gonna like list them out lmao
unicorn chronicles: i loved unicorns as a kid and read it when i was in elementary school, and over the years its remained just as compelling and well written as i remember and like. god the whole concept is so godamn cool and all the subplots that get introduced are fuckign fantastic and like all the different creatures are amazing i literally cant sing its praises enough
howls moving castle: must i have a logical reason? is it not to vicariously live my fantasy of running away to the countryside with a wizard boyfriend, his demon and his apprentice?? for real though, its such a fantastic story with beautiful visuals in the movie and wonderfully compelling prose in the book, and esp in the movie the whole time travel subplot with sophie seeing howl and calcifer in the past and then howl finding her in the future makes me go feral
penumbra: gays in space. need i say more? im a huge slut for gay found family and especially in futuristic space, and im a huge big fan of the lgbt utopia its created. like yeah capitalism sucks but at least im not gonne get misgendered in space starbucks, u kno? all the writing and dialogue is so incredible and the SOUND DESIGN GOD, alex i know u specifically can relate when i say i would kill a man for sophie and her incredible sound design skills, like dude the dance scene in man in glass p2 you can hear every single individual step they take and every swish of junos dress and i jusT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god its so good, plus the whole the characters help me work through my trauma and repressed anger haha
911: this one is entirely your fault. so obligatory horny on main everyone on that show is so hot i want oliver stark to cradle me gently in his beefy arms oh my god. other than Men, the way it drives home the whole ‘you can’t save everyone, and it will kill you to try, so just focus on what you can do and keep living’ makes me so emo. the way it tackles big bureaucratic issues as well as closer to home interpersonal ones is amazing and i love how it shows people going through and dealing realistically with trauma.
treasure planet: again, who doesnt want to live in Cool Steampunk Space Travel Future? i really really love jims story and his arc, the way he deals with his trauma is uhh very familiar lol and his relationship with silver is like the ideal. the story is just the coolest concept and i love all the wonderful character design and animation, plus the soundtrack SLAPS and everything is beautiful
legend of zelda: ive been associated with this series from a very young age due to my name and as soon as i gave into my fate and looked it up for real i just kinda fell into it lol. i cant really tell you exactly what draws me to it besides ‘wow fun game!’ and ‘god i wish that were me,’ but like the absurd amount of detail thats put into each installment and the creative ways they retell essentially the same/similar story over and over is incredible
guardians of gahoole: so i had the same experience with this and treasure planet which is i remembered ‘oh hey this is a movie that exists and i cant clearly remember watching it, ill look it up :)’ and then it consumed my life for a solid 3 months. firstly this movie is absolutely gorgeous, the animation and framing is fucking stunning and the way they handled owls talking like people as far as the movement of their very inflexible beaks was amazing. it sort of has the same draw for me as warrior cats? secret animal society ft incredibly traumatic experiences and the characters dealing with it. like, the whole concept is just so fuckign wild and it works so well, i rly enjoy this niche genre.
💎 - alright trivia time, so guardians of gahoole is based on a book series and the movie only covers part of the first arc i think idk, BUT theres another series set in the same universe called wolves of the beyond that i devoured when i was younger! i didnt know they were connected for the longest time and when i found out i was :000, i still rly love wolves of the beyond and wanna reread it, as well as read the actual gahoole books. in the howls books, sophie is a redhead! also, markl is named michael and like a fully functioning young adult who ends up marrying one of sophies sisters. treasure planet is, obviously, based off treasure island but its so much better than the book dont bother reading it lol i tried and it was boring. there was plans for a treasure planet sequel that was fully scripted and cast but it was cancelled cause disney sabotaged treasure planet from the start with the shitty release and advertising and tldr we were ROBBED, also amelias concept was much more octopus like and while that wldve been rad im p glad she was switched to a cat for. several reasons lol. uhh i dont have a lot of Fun Facts abt the unicorn chronicles but for the longest time i thought there were only 3 books and then last year i found the fourth book by chance in a kitsch store and nearly had a breakdown i was so happy, like full on i started shaking and crying cause there was so much joy in my body i cldnt contain it.
thats all i can think of tysm ily, to anyone who read all of this bless u please watch guardians of gahoole and read the unicorn chronicles i will love u forever
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safrona-shadowsun · 5 years
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Borrowed this neat little list from @ask-iraiel.
01. Oldest OC: This would be the departed @lady-handhour, who started off as a human (Gilnean) Warlock character in Vanilla WoW, and my very first heavily Rp’d character. She is now a banshee that is bound to the Ghostlands and surprisingly is still fun and interesting for me to write after all these years. 
02. Newest OC: @wraithsongs is my newest character, a Dark Ranger. I haven’t written very much for her or introduced her to RP, her blog just merely aesthetics now, so I haven’t done a lot of advertising, but she will be getting some stand alone stories very soon.
03: Favorite OC: A hard question, as I like something about each character I was inspired to create and develop. My favorite to write for and develop has been @echoesofthelight lately, I think, though who I end up writing/rping for is really influenced on my daily mood and the interest shown in a character by others.
 04 Favorite OC Design: I really love sketching out my more supernatural-looking characters, and of them @gravekeeper-anna has been the most fun to play around with. Though she recently had a more darkly whimsical look to her, she’s recently going through some revisions to her design, and its been an interesting challenge to try to put together what she looks like now as I take my group’s Rp contributions into consideration. (Truly some amazing writing occurred and I love the people that support my little forsaken lady so much. )
05 Main Reason for Making OC’s: Rolling a character and developing an OC are two very different things for me, and usually an OC comes out of an idea that haunts me or one that is built through a bridge of stories on one of my already existing characters. Inspiration is a very large motivator for me, and I usually can’t go on playing a toon I create unless they really come alive for me in my mind.
06. Describe Your Character Creating Process: This is probably intertwined a lot with the answer for number 5...it all starts with being inspired by something, being haunted by a concept for days or weeks that I can’t shake. Usually I’ll start writing some the concept, sketch out things for myself, and then I’ll share my ideas with an Rp friend I trust to see if it sounds...well, sound. Then if I’m lucky and confident with my idea, I can see it flourish into stories and Rp, and maybe even more grounded art.
07: Character Ships: The word ‘ship’ has a few meanings for me, as they can mean different types of relationships continuously written with a regular rp partner that for me, revolve around character exploration and development. I currently have a romantically-inclined ‘ship’ between Safrona here and @thefirstperished. On @echoesofthelight I tend to do a lot of character developing with @renwyck’s writer, a platonic relationship. And @roselyn-ravenblade has a mentor/mentee relationtionship with @asharinhun, and she also has a fine friendship building with @natereising. 
08: My favorite OC ship has been what has developed between Safrona and @thefirstperished. It was something that was organically Rp’d and a little unexpected, but has been very satisfying. There is a rich intimate exploration into both of our very not normal characters that always pulls me right in and keeps me and Saf both on our toes, or sinking in a sea of feels or even snickering to myself. Throw in there that I just admire The First as an amazingly written character in his own right, I’m just always looking forward to see this deeply bonded relationship develop however the way it does. 
09. Weirdest OC: I think the majority of my characters have a little ‘weirdness’ to them, and that is what makes them enjoyable for me to write. I think the weirdest concept I have is my Forsaken Monk at @danseindeath which is possibly too off kilter to even legitimately RP. I love her twisted, violent aesthetic though, so I keep her blog around. That’s where the most disturbing of my inspiration goes, likely.
10. Villains? @danseindeath was supposed to be the most villainous of my roster, but not sure anymore, as I’m not actively writing that character. I honestly have trouble writing a clear hero, or a clear villain. I usually play with moralities, dancing in a grey area. There is always a reason for the things one does. I suppose right now @lady-handhour is my most ‘lawful evil’ of my characters, but on the whole, most consider undead and their motivations to be ‘evil’.
11. Would you consider yourself nice to your OCS? I didn’t used to be. I think I liked writing tragic characters much too much. Many of my characters don’t have great orgins, and some characters, by the gods, did I put them through the wringer. But I’m coming to a point that some of these characters I’ve written for so long falling into pitfall after pitfall of ruin (some ten years rl in running) deserve some positive development for once, or having things work in their favor.
12. An OC you’ve killed (if you havent killed anyone, who would you kill?) Most recently I tried to permanently retire @gravekeeper-anna after the assault on Lordaeron by the Alliance after Teldrassil’s burning with her execution, but some dear writer friends weren’t having that at all, so she is returning, slowly but surely. :) A grateful nod must go to @sanguinesorceress, @duraxxor, @silvertonguedaggermaw and @nixalegos for inspiring her recreation. 
13. Are any of your OC’s parents? Safrona has had terrible luck being a parent, but she can remember some semblence of what it felt to have a child, somehow. As can @lady-handhour. @gravekeeper-anna is the a motherly guardian to the Lost of Lordaeron in a way, but right now, it is @wraithsongs that has had a child survive her, and sadly, it probably breaks her brain. Maybe one day one of my characters will get to have a healthy parent-child relationship, who knows?
14. Are there any OC’s you find yourself neglecting? I find I’m neglecting @delaurac a lot mostly because his story has fell flat on its face for me and I think I’ve fallen into making him a punching bag, and I probably don’t want to go that route again with ANOTHER character. Just lack of steady inspiration for me when it comes to Quint.
15. An OC that is difficult to write/draw/rp: That would be Saraj the Ethereal. I have always, always wanted an Ethereal character, but he falls into all those categories of being a highly intelligent, centuries? old entity that I just don’t have enough lore on to a point that I don’t know if I can ever deeply write him, while also being very hard to draw as a space mummy, and being someone that just shows up as cameos for the Courier. I dearly love this character though.
16: Tallest/Shortest OC: Shortest: @roselyn-handhour, tallest is Safrona’s Shivarra, that I sometimes bring in as an IC interation.
17: Oldest and Youngest OCs: Youngest OC is @roselyn-ravenblade in her early-mid twenties and the oldest is Saraj who is...who knows how old Ethereals are.
18: Do you dislike any of your OCs? Well. I wouldn’t ever want to meet @danseindeath in real life, but the idea of her intrigued my horror-appreciating brain.
19: Have you ever made a self-insert? I think there are aspects we identify with or that intrigue us as writers that we put into characters to make them relatable to us and therefore inspire us to write, but I stayed away for a long time from really putting big chunks of my personality into my characters. They were for a long time art that I released into the world, subjects that I subjected to stories, environs, and the impact of other characters on their existences. That changed a little with @roselyn-ravenblade, as I just started writing her half the time with my own reactions in a social environment. And its made her feel more of a real character to me as an effect, and its all kinda amusing.
20: An OC regret: I regret sometimes letting myself get too carried with making characters. I feel like I sometimes don’t have the brain to keep up with them all. Its often a feeling that makes me want to shelf a character, or retire them, but I never can pick who. And then I just feel like I’m giving up on one of my creations.
21: An OC you didn’t expect to be popular: I honestly did not expect Safrona to be so popular. She is a courier. There should have been nothing very interesting about that. She was my very first Tumblr account though, and she’s been around for a time here, and I was fairly active in having her interact with people. Am still a little stunned at the follower count she has, and moreover that it isn't dropping. I don't feel she is as popular with people now despite all this, just an old account and characterization I haven't shelved. This of course does not wither my massive love and gratitude for those that have written with Saf, ever liked her posts or reblogged, complimented and supported this character somehow. Just still pleasantly surprised.
22: An OC you didn’t expect to love: Many years ago, there was this gnomish warlock I knew in Vanilla Wow that really grew on me that I cant even remember the name of. He completely stuttered through his every word consistently, and while reading his text may have been annoying to some, I just appreciated the time he put into his characterization so much and how well he was rp'd with anyone and everyone that any group rp function we ever had felt a little empty if he was not attending. He is probably the reason for near automatically loving gnome rpers when I see/read about them. Strangely, I never really had a good gnome character that I could think of rping myself.
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the-desolated-quill · 5 years
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Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018
Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.
Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.
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Hold The Sunset
The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.
An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.
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Avengers: Infinity War
Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.
I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.
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Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.
That was a mistake.
Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.
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Agony
When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’
I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.
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Peter Rabbit
If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.
Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.
It’s about as bad as you’d expect.
Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.
Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.
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Fallout 76
I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.
Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.
Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.
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Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again
I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.
Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).
How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.
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The Cloverfield Paradox
A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.
The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.
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The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2
This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.
I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.
There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.
And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.
The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.
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The Predator
I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.
People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!
This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.
What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D
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So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...
Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.
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