#but also. so much gender envy @ 12 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kart0 · 4 months

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Let's talk shall we ? I have big news

Hey guys, it's been quite some time since we chatted huh ?

Well, I have something I need to confess. Ever since I was a kid I never really cared too much about gender, and roles, and how we played. I was just a kid. I liked and had lots of fun dressing up as a man, wearing ties, being shirtless and on diapers. But also wearing my mom's heels and putting on her lipstick. It didn't matter

I'd do what I wanted, when I wanted.

Things started to get more serious as I grew up though. On my early teens I decided I wasn't interested on makeup, at all. And I wasn't "like the other girly girls". I hung out with a bunch of boys and we'd have fun too. But I felt weird at times. That's when I got closer to my girl friends. They were awesome and we were very, very close, for some time as well.

But I never felt home. Accepted. Comfortable. I never felt like I belonged for real, anywhere at all, and I still do have problems with that...

And then I was a teen. Started to learn more about the world, about lgbt culture. I learned about different genders. And that's what we're going to talk about on this post.

This is my coming out letter.

When I was 12 I read the Percy Jackson series. I was never truly interested in reading as kid. But my Portuguese teacher said we had to read it for class so I did. And I fell in love. And I was an avid reader, I learnt. I read one book per day. Everyday. I was amazed with Percy. He was incredible. He was everything I wanted to be.

He was everything to me.

But.

I felt something so deep, a crushing feeling I couldn't describe, that it hurt so so so much, whenever I read fanfics or saw too much fanart, or tried to be a part of the fandom.

Then later I found out it was envy. I wanted to be him so bad it hurt. I wanted to be like him, but not only have his personality, no, I wanted to look exactly like him.

I had to distance myself from the fandom and the books and I was fine for some time.

I forced myself not to care about my looks. I pretended that I didn't know what I wanted. I tried to be edgy and cool. Then I tried to look sweet and innocent. 2023 I really, really put an effort and learnt how to do makeup. I wore foundation and glittery eyeshadows and lipstick. And I felt pretty.

But. It wasn't enough for me. I felt ok most of the time, like it was acceptable. It bothered it annoyed but it was fine. In reality though I knew what I wanted.

And well, I'm bringing up Percy Jackson again. I really really liked the books. And now the series is streaming on Disney. I refused to watch it for some reason.

I think I forgot, y'know. Why I avoided and stopped liking it.

But, curse you TikTok, it started appearing on my fyp and ugh, I liked some of the videos. And now because of the algorithm it's only showing me pjo tiktoks.

Maybe I knew, deep inside, that I had to go through this discomfort. This pain, yet again. I needed to accept myself. So I kept on watching, and scrolling, until I was sobbing, lying on my bed. Feeling extremely upset.

Why wasn't I born a man. Why do I was born with curves, and boobs. Why. Why why why why why. And I cried and cried, all the pain I felt accumulated all these years.

I am coming out today because I feel finally ready and brave to accept this part of me.

I am transgender.

So are you a man ? Hm, honestly, I don't know for sure. I think I'm a girl too, sometimes. Like it doesn't bother me too much. I feel like I still need to learn and read a lot to comprehend what I feel and who I am. But for now, I'll go for unlabeled and just say I'm nonbinary. Crazy huh ? Took me 21 years to figure it out.

I'm not coming out to my family, I will never. They won't understand, and won't try to. They won't like it. And I love my family more than anything in this world. I don't want to lose them and I don't want them to look at me differently. I don't care if I'm still their little girl. I will keep being their little girl forever. Doesn't bother me.

I don't care that my friends or my irls still refer me as a woman either. Cuz sometimes I feel like a woman. I dress like a woman.

So... What will change then, you may ask ?

Firstly, hm... I don't think much will change. I will refer myself as a man on social media. I will use he him pronouns and I will say I have a massive, huge fucking dick. Heh. Makes me laugh.

I think what mattered to me first was just coming to terms that yeah, I am trans. And this is how I feel. And who cares if nothing changes. It's my own fucking life.

I'm scared of medical procedures and I don't want to transition. For now. As I mentioned before, I don't want to scare my family. I don't want to lose them. Do I wish I was born a male ? Yes. Do I wish, I looked like a man ? Of course. But for now, looking like a woman will have to do the job.

But what's fun is that I'm on art school. Everyone's fucking gay !!!!! And nobody cares how you dress ! So this will be fun now that I feel free. I can do whatever the fuck I want.

This post is too long and I'm so sorry. I wish I could thank Percy for giving me the "splash" haha and making me learn more about myself.

And now I can live my life without the guilt I carried before.

Happy 2024 everyone

#me #coming out #transgender #surprise i was an egg all this time #life update that for once isn't a rant #life update

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youling-the-ghost · 1 year

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Julian Ramis Appreciation Post

SPOILER WARNING: Grimsborough case #18; The Conspiracy case #5, #6, #7, and #38

I honestly expected Julian to be a lot more popular when I got into CC (and was a little disappointed when I realized how unpopular he really was). But that's alright because now there's no one to stop me from declaring myself the leader of the Julian Ramis Appreciation Club >:3! Anyways, in this ridiculously long and not well-thought-out post, I will be summarizing/analyzing Julian's life during the events of Criminal Case, and how he's a criminally (no pun intended) underrated character.

Design

See, I'm usually not a very design-oriented person when it comes to my favourite characters. But I just have to say that I FREAKING LOVE HIS DESIGN.

LOOK AT THIS BEANIE BOI, LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME HE ISN'T ATTRACTIVE (or in my case, gives off severe gender envy).

Grimsborough

I'll admit that Julian wasn't one of the most memorable characters from Grimsborough, although his story definitely stuck with me. Kids are easily influenceable, and this case is a great reminder that even the nicest of kids can become associated with theft and other crimes. As Jones stated, "Julian was a nice kid, nicer than most." If the events of In the Dead of Night never happened, Julian might be living his life as a normal teen during the events of The Conspiracy. That one moment—Julian going with Freddy to steal from the Greene mansion—changed his whole life for the worse. This is a quite common trope in media, but I think that the use of children, especially prepubescent children since Julian was 12, makes everything seem so much more raw and unfiltered. It’s a harsh reminder that tragedy isn’t dependent on age. No matter how old you are, no matter your home situation or your background, your life can always turn upside-down. And more often than not, it would be just that one easily avoidable event that messes your life up forever.

Freddy Stewart also posed as almost like an older brother figure to Julian, although this was never explicitly stated. Being the unintentional cause of your friend’s death would be enough guilt and grief to deal with even as an adult, let alone a middle schooler. The one year in juvenile detention, while a much lighter sentence than some of the other killers in CC, was definitely more than enough time for Julian to be completely indulged in negative thoughts.

Post-Juvenile Detention

(this part is mostly me making inferences from snippets of Julian’s dialogue :p)

Most people might imagine prison as temporary; after the sentence, people's lives just return as normal, free of trauma. This is very clearly a idealisation of post-prison life. I have never been to prison, but I can imagine that trying to get your life back on track is a difficult task. Although it was never explicitly shown, it was made very clear that Julian’s life was a mess after he was released from juvenile detention. With lines like “Not that it matters. As ‘the murderer kid,' I don't have much of a future in Grimsborough anyway. I might as well embrace the criminal life!“ and “No one supports me! My classmates avoid me, and the teachers won't look me in the eye! Like they expect me to go on a murder spree at any minute!”, it’s clear that not only other people but Julian himself doesn’t view himself as any more than just a criminal. Other than his father, Julian had no one to depend on throughout his teenage years. From his release when he was 13 to the events of The Conspiracy when he was 17, Julian only had his father to rely on and talk to. However, as Julian slips more and more into the delinquent life, even his relationship with his father becomes strained.

The Father-Son Tragedy

As mentioned above, Julian’s sole support was his father. So when he loses that support in Hear My Cry, Julian is truly alone with no friends or family. This alone makes for a tragic character, but what makes this case so much more heartwrenching is Julian’s last words to his father. Julian and Edward Ramis’s final interaction was an argument, with Edward expressing his disapproval towards his son’s drug use. A normal argument between father and son, but interpreted as bitter abuse. This small argument, which most likely would have been resolved within days if not weeks had the events of Hear My Cry not happened, is turned into a murder case. Julian’s mother was never mentioned, neither before nor after his father’s death. This heavily implies that Edward is a single father. This means that Edward Ramis truly was Julian Ramis’s only parental figure, the only person who Julian could trust and confide in. And just like that, he was gone, and Julian is now alone in this cruel world.

Just like In The Dead of Night, Edward’s death was caused by that one easily avoidable moment. And, just like with Freddy, Julian was involved in that one moment. Although this time, the situation was completely out of his control, Julian could’ve easily blamed himself and once again drown in guilt and grief.

Dr. Gibbs: Death By Incompetence

In Flatline, it was revealed that Dr. Gibbs is an incredibly irresponsible doctor. Here, there are two options: 1) that Dr. Gibbs is only irresponsible in terms of medical assistance and is a wonderful therapist, or 2) Dr. Gibbs is just as incompetent in terms of therapy and medical assistance. Both options yield similar tragic results. If Dr. Gibbs was a competent therapist, it means that Julian once again lost someone to whom he previously thought he could turn for support. Once again, Julian is left alone, with no one other than the GPD who cares for him. If Dr. Gibbs was, in fact, an incompetent therapist, then Julian’s only option for healing would have been sabotaged. The only time where he was given the option to be more than just “the criminal kid” turned him into yet another victim of Dr. Gibbs’s neglect.

Criminal Records and How They Ruin Lives

It was mentioned multiple times that Julian is a very bright kid. Perhaps in an alternate universe, where that crossbow never came into their possession, he would be happy studying at Grimsborough University. However, criminal records don’t care about whether or not you’ve changed. If you’ve committed a crime in the past, your future will be forever stained by that event. In the case of Julian Ramis, this meant that people will forever see him as a murderer. Although René Narcisse was the only one that was shown in-game, it wouldn’t be too much to assume that more people had said similar things to him. It didn’t matter that the event happened 5 years ago or that it was just an accident; to the other, Julian Ramis is no more than a simple murderer.

A Ray of Hope

Despite initially appearing to detest the player and the GPD, they seemed to be Julian’s “light at the end of the tunnel.” In the Pain In The Neck AI, Julian’s reaction to being given a chance heavily implies that this is a rare occurrence for him. As mentioned in the previous section, Julian is far from respected in his community. While we don’t know the extent of the ostracization that Julian experienced, we know that it has given him incredibly low self-esteem and a habit of self-deprecation.

The GPD was the first one other than his father to offer him a helping hand and to treat him as a human, flaws and all. That was one of the first times that Julian wasn’t seen as a criminal but as a deeply troubled kid in desperate need of psychological and emotional help. His past will always haunt him, but in his new life at Grimsborough University, Julian might be able to turn the page in his story and move on from the trauma that has dragged him down for all those years.

Julian’s Life: Summarized

Julian Ramis’s life is riddled with tragedy, trauma, heartbreak, and grief. From accidentally killing his friend to losing his father to constantly being told by others and himself that he’ll never be more than a criminal, it’s no wonder that he turned to drug use.

Also I need Gabriel as Julian’s therapist content.

#criminal case #criminal case the conspiracy #julian ramis #I freaking love this boy #also he needs a shit ton of therapy :/#I love the idea of Alex becoming his older brother figure after he was released from juvie #I can imagine Julian and Alex teaching Gabriel video games after their therapy sessions

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envysparkler · 1 year

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I posted 165 times in 2022

145 posts created (88%)

20 posts reblogged (12%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@envysparkler

@upswings

@thisiswhereikeepdcthings

@mylittleredgirl

I tagged 164 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#envy answers - 118 posts

#whumptober2022 - 37 posts

#fic ideas - 23 posts

#compliment - 12 posts

#batfam - 10 posts

#my snippets - 9 posts

#faqs - 4 posts

#kidnapping - 4 posts

#greenie - 4 posts

#jason&bruce - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i'm saying i would totally fight a guy dressed as a bat if it would get me my doctorate faster

My Top Posts in 2022:

I need the fic where Batman responds to the Red Hood exactly like a parent with a rebellious teenager. he looms out of the shadows to admonish Hood for stealing Black Mask’s kryptonite. he confiscates the rocket launcher. he grounds Jason for releasing the Joker.

the GCPD, watching the most notorious crime lord in the city get scolded by Batman: what is even happening Hood: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER Batman: the paperwork disagrees. also, you blow up one more warehouse and no more Alfred cookies. Hood, whining: but I had to blow it up, it was full of drugs! and drug dealers! mainly the drug dealers. Batman, shaking Hood like an errant kitten: murder bad.

172 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

okay, imagine everyone gets the Robins mixed up. look, it’s hard, their color themes are all too similar, two of them have ‘red’ in their name and two of them have ‘robin’ in their name, and apparently one of them was a girl, and honestly this is too much background reading to be a goon. and it doesn’t really matter if you get their names mixed up, because it will inevitably end with you beaten unconscious and ziptied to a telephone pole. can’t keep things straight with a concussion anyway.

so, fic where a random group of thugs decides to kidnap a Robin and sell them off to their nemesis. only they get the Robins wrong. every time.

Hood squints up at Deathstroke. Deathstroke stares down at him. “in which universe does this look like Nightwing to you?” “he’s got wings on his chest!” “that’s a bat, you moron.” “oh, uh--wait, where are you going?” “you managed to snag the one Bat that’s not opposed to killing, and I’m not going to sit around here and wait while he blows this warehouse up.” “but we searched him--urk!” the warehouse explodes when Deathstroke is two blocks away.

Red Robin groans and pulls himself off the floor of the warehouse. Black Mask makes a hissed growl. “you got the wrong Red, you utter moron!” “s-sorry, but you said--” “I gave you a very clear description! I said red helmet! does this idiot look like he has a red helmet to you?” Red Robin yawns, politely covering his mouth. none of the goons notice that his hands are free. “what am I supposed to do with this skinny-ass creativity-challenged kid, huh?” snick of a bo staff extending. “oh,” Red Robin smiles, “I have a few ideas.” screams.

Spoiler stares unblinking. Ra’s al Ghul stares back, also unblinking. the cave glitters with green light. there is a marble chessboard between them. “would you like a game?” “sure, sounds like fun!” both of them ignore the screams of the hapless goons in the background.

Robin snarls like a vengeful rattlesnake, trussed up with a giant bow on his head. Cluemaster fights the urge to break something. “I’m sorry, but which one of you idiots identified this kid as my daughter?” “I--we--um--” “he’s the wrong age, gender, race--” “we didn’t want to assume!” “aw, how progressive of you!” everyone looks up. Nightwing is perched there, smiling. Batman is perched there, not smiling. “oh shit--”

Deathstroke stares upward, as though searching for patience. “you called me here, wasting my considerably expensive time, to tell me that you have Robin.” “yessir.” “why do you think I give a flying fuck about Robin?” “you--you hate the Teen Titans, right?” “that was ten years ago--you know what, fuck it, fine, show me the kid.” the goons haul in Nightwing. Deathstroke stares, and then smiles. “well, what do you know, you idiots finally managed to get your Robins right.” the goons perk up. “so you’ll buy him?” Deathstroke unsheathes his sword.

“oh, I didn’t say that.”

340 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

Bruce isn’t the one with a crippling desire to adopt any black-haired child thrust in front of him. no, that’s one hundred percent his children’s fault.

(or, elder batkid holding younger soon-to-be batkid like simba in lion king: “adopt him, or I will.”)

Nightwing finds Jason stealing the Batmobile’s tires. he’s amused. he finds out that Jason doesn’t have a family and he makes the puppy dog eyes at Batman, the ones he knows Bruce can’t resist. Batman tries to stay strong. Nightwing uses his secret weapon and informs Bruce that if he doesn’t take Jason in, Dick will. Bruce folds like a bad hand (he can’t have grandchildren at this young) and tries to console himself that it’s just this once.

(we all know that’s a lie.)

Red Hood does his whole showdown at the Tower. in the process of insults being bandied about, he finds out that Tim has not yet been adopted by Bruce. Jason is affronted. outraged, even. this whole showdown loses half the emotional punch if Tim hasn’t been adopted. Jason didn’t come here to beat up some random kid wearing Robin colors! Batman is extremely surprised to see Gotham’s latest crime lord appear in front of him with a growled ultimatum and a bruised Robin dangling from his grip like a scruffed kitten. Batman doesn’t know why Hood’s threatening to adopt Robin, but of course he can’t let his son Tim be kidnapped. it’s only when he’s filing the papers that he realizes why it sounded so familiar, and Jason is trying to reschedule his showdown with Robin when he’s attacked by a weepy Batman.

(Bruce is starting to wonder about his children and their propensity for adoption.)

Tim gets attacked in the Cave by a ninja with a sword. a very small ninja who proclaims himself the Son of the Bat. Tim is beyond excited, this is his chance to adopt someone into the family. Tim presents Bruce with a hogtied Damian and chirps the line at him, beaming. Bruce blinks at him. (“Tim, you’re bleeding.” “tis but a flesh wound.” *muffled shouting* “oh, apparently it’s poisoned, but I feel fine.” “TIM--”) Damian is none too pleased by Tim’s claim--“I have no need of your ridiculous threats, I am Father’s rightful heir!”--but is secretly happy to be assured of a place in this strange tradition.

(“No, stop laughing Clark, this is a real problem, Damian tried to get me to adopt Jon the other day--I said stop laughing--”)

360 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

okay so one of those ‘take a canon scene and see how it works in fanon batfam’ ideas. in this case, the Batman v Red Hood fight, you know the one, yes that one where Bruce beats the everloving shit out of a Jason that’s not fighting back.

how do you make this work in batfam, you ask? well 😈.

Jason needs connections in the underworld for some case. problem is, Hood’s been an antihero for a good long while now, and most people consider him a Bat. Jason’s solution is simple--stage a confrontation so public and so egregious that the entirety of Gotham knows he’s not a Bat anymore.

and whaddya know? Batman’s the only Bat in Gotham at the moment. Steph’s visiting Cass in Hong Kong, Tim’s in San Francisco, Damian’s spending the month in Bludhaven with Nightwing, it couldn’t be easier. Jason just has to convince Bruce of this plan and they’re good to go!

(Jason does a whole monologue to try and convince Bruce, ending on the ultimatum, “if you don’t help me, I’ll find someone who will!” Bruce panics. he’d rather have Jason plot a fake confrontation with him than go fight-flirt with Black Mask. one villain son-in-law is more than enough.)

it’s a whole production. Jason writes scene directions. there’s fake blood. a dramatic monologue. Batman tears the red bat off his chest. the kind of shit that Gothamites would eat up. by the end of this fight, no one in Gotham will think Red Hood is a Bat.

the plan goes off really, really well.

until it doesn’t.

what Jason maybe hasn’t considered is the vast plethora of people who love him, who would drop everything and come running to save him, and who’ve watched a bunch of footage of Batman beating the shit out of him. while Jason is completely off grid and unable to answer any calls.

Jason returns to the Cave to update Bruce that he found the intel he was looking for, only to find him being held at swordpoint by Talia al Ghul while a furious and weepy Dick demands to know why he did it. the rest of the family stand in silent judgment.

the Cave: *crickets* Bruce, pointing at Jason: it was his idea

408 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

on a more cracky note: Bruce getting possessed by something. it details how it’s going to completely ruin his life, bit by bit, inch by inch, and no one will ever ever know because Bruce exclusively communicates in grunts anyway.

Bruce freaking out, trapped in the back of his head, forced to watch as the entity interacts with his family with no one seemingly the wiser.

in reality, everyone immediately cottoned onto the fact that Bruce is acting weird and they’re all exchanging theories and solutions in the background and Bruce is unpossessed by dinner.

Dick: it got the tone of your hns wrong, it was more of a space is the absolute worst I hate it hn when it should’ve been a this city stinks like garbage hn.

Jason: you didn’t look constipated when you saw me shoot someone.

Tim: you only double-checked the mission info six times.

Cass: moved weird.

Steph: you didn’t make that eyebrow crinkle when I cracked a joke like you’re trying to be stern but inside you’re laughing because we all know I’m hilarious.

Damian: as if I don’t regularly check you all for possession, tt.

Alfred: I know everything, Master Bruce.

1,692 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #that long tag though #still a mood

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transsexualunderground · 1 year

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SYCORAX IN: DAY OF THE DIESELS

i really want to hear about sycorax!!!

Oooh aight aight!

This one is my DOTD AU, because, as much as I like bringin' back ol' unhinged D10, this movie's got some major flaws, yet major potential, too. And look, Percy's got friends other than Thomas.

Enter Sycorax, a slightly-pretentious, dramatic, artistic, silly little Shakespeare fan of a BR Class 12 that lost their wheels in an accident and got tiny little narrow gauge Co-Co bogies slapped on 'em. They work on the UHR, which, is a whole can of worms to explain on its own.

The UHR, or the Ulfstead Heritage Railway, is an absurd little heritage railway going in and around Ulfstead, and is linked up to the Skarloey via a long, straight, boring line with one water column in the middle (until a Little Caesar's is installed, long story). Not to be confused with the Estate Railway, as this was built using Mid Sodor track, and is basically me taking that portion of rail shown in Toby's Discovery and adding to it.

(And It Was At This Point He Realized This Post Would Be Very Long, Because Now He's Recapping the WIP Because He Is Convinced He Won't Finish a Script Version After He Finishes This Outline-Thing)

Anyways. This one's about Sycorax, who I've decided has a few different levels of envy (the closest thing to engine gender envy and envy of his claw, mostly) when it comes to Diesel 10, yet, also an intrigue and a desire to meet him. With a claw like his, you could do a multitude of things Sycorax yearns to do, and most of that boils down to creative endeavors.

So, this is a tale with D10 written a bit closer to his personality in TATMR (campy ridiculousness yet being genuinely menacing), with some splashes of his DOTD tendencies in there (the scheming! the manipulativeness! I think TATMR Diesel 10 is very capable of this, but I'll tap into DOTD D10 a little more for this, too.) Also, Splatter and Dodge are 'Arry and Bert Headcanon Antics. Because once, a friend of mine came up with the HC that 'Arry and Bert are Splatter and Dodge because model reuse. (Diesel 10 gets to call them "Barry" now instead of "Splodge." Seems like they had a competence upgrade in general but they can get silly with it, too.) (While I'm at it, I gave Pinchy its semi-sentience back.)

Now onto the actual plot, it follows quite a few of the beats from DOTD except with less of the friendship envy and fire antics (at least in my planning, I need to set up how we get to the fire in the climax).

Diesel introduces Sycorax to Diesel 10 at the Dieselworks, which now have narrow gauge tracks for Plot Reasons, Sycorax finds themself in sheer admiration of Diesel 10's claw and Vibes and his appreciation for the arts (see: that sculpture Pinchy made in TATMR. I like thinking he has a comical amount of knowledge about art, specifically sculpture, and also, @sudriantraveler's "Diesel 10 is a theater nerd" concept is an absolute blast) and of course that makes them a good pawn for all this, in a slightly different flavor to Splodge Barry, because part of this is keeping Sycorax in the dark about how shitty this is gonna be.

So D10 gets Sycorax aboard, and it's time to go steal a crane from the Steamworks. Who better to get into theft, though, than She Who Pranks, aka Forsythia, Sycorax's fellow narrow gauge engine! (She's a steam engine, which, IMO, makes this even funnier.) Sycorax doesn't fancy themself a thief anyways, they think they'd suck at it. So they promise that their affiliate would be more than happy to do this. She is. But then she proceeds to ask her coach Nicolas and some trucks to give her a bump of a lifetime to send her to the Steamworks. This isn't what Sycorax planned, and they have to drag her to the Steamworks anyways. (She isn't too happy about this because she's getting separated from Nicolas for this, but she can handle it.)

Sycorax brings Kevin around, and they suggest the diesels perhaps postpone the raid of the Steamworks until nobody's going to be there, but Diesel 10 is willing to take hostages. He's already taking the building hostage, after all. Sycorax is opposed, but is coaxed into going with it. See indented excerpt.

When they return with their stolen crane companion, Sycorax explains, “Apologies that took so long, Diesel 10, but my… affiliate, she stupidly decided to get to the Steamworks via being sent there to have damage taken care of, and I was sent to bring her there. The good news is, though, that I have brought this crane. Very important. Didn’t… you say something about storming the Steamworks earlier? Can the operation even wait until she’s done?” “We’ll just have to storm the place with her in it.” “We’re going to… what, now? Truth being told, I never did ask why we’re trying to take the Steamworks… What’d they do to us?” “Have a crane,” Diesel 10 says. “Your brevity truly is the soul of wit,” Sycorax responds in a way that’s hard to read as genuine or sarcastic. “Not really. We’re using it as a bargaining chip. We give the hat guy his Steamworks and whoever's in there back, and we get our better Dieselworks.” “...hostages, Diesel 10?” “If you don’t like it, you should’ve backed out with the cranenapping!” “That was willing on all parties’ accounts, Diesel 10! We can’t just take unwilling hostages! Albeit, knowing Forsythia, she’d love to be there amidst a takeover, but what about everyone else that’s there?!” Diesel 10 is annoyed that they’re questioning him now. “We’ll deal with them later. We’ll make sure they’re taken care of.”

They lead the charge, and all hell breaks loose. Sycorax sits back and watches in realization that this is... not a good thing at all. Diesel 10, instead of joining in the mess, hangs back for a bit to try and manipulate Sycorax a bit more. It doesn't really pull through, and Sycorax just says they'll... catch up with the others in a moment. Diesel 10 begrudgingly leaves them to their devices, and we get the moment that really shakes things up for Sycorax.

Sycorax does stay put for a moment, watching Diesel 10 as he goes off on his own... only to watch him start ripping things up with his claw. Sycorax realizes his claw is a claw of destruction and not creation, and after a lovely little monologue, they declare that they won't let this become a tragedy, and they go to think about how to right their wrongs.

But we get a cut to the absolute CHAOS happening down at the Steamworks. Forsythia got put into a crane and is just swinging around and spinning. This is the best hostage situation she's ever experienced. Someone explained what was going on to her and she just embraced it, as one does.

Enter Wesley, who is literally just a steam engine here to bring some stuff over really quickly. He observes the chaos, isn't sure what's going on, and needs to figure out where to put this stuff, so he manages to muster up a loud, almost commanding "HELLO THERE!"

Everyone looks at him like this:

At least, they do until Syth swings down asking what Wes is doing here, explains the situation very casually (much to Wesley's bewilderment), and assures the others that he'll comply with the hostage situation nonsense. Everyone goes back to their business, and Wesley decides if he's going to be stuck here he may as well find someone to have a good conversation with. See indented excerpt.

“Cousin Wesley! Fancy meeting you here! Have you come to join the party?” “What party?” Wesley asks. “Oh, you know, the diesel takeover of the Steamworks!” “The… the WHAT?!” “Yeah, uh, now that you’re here, you can’t really leave, but, I’m sure it’s fine, because this has been the most fun hostage situation of my life.” "You know this guy, Forsythia?" a diesel asks. "Yeah, yeah, he'll comply with staying around for a while, I'm sure. The party's back on, everyone! Wooo!" She swings off and the chaos starts again. "Well, darn. Guess it's time to try and have a good conversation with… someone who makes alright conversation." Then it cuts.

Meanwhile Sycorax is still pondering how to fix this, so far from their own railway.

...and when we cut back to the Steamworks, Wesley and Paxton are having a nice casual chat about that time Wesley ran into some geese, before it's revealed his crew went to get the Fat Controller. Aw shit. Cue the model era theme!

He puts a stop to this nonsense, explains there were already renovation plans for the Dieselworks, 'Arry and Bert make some comments about how that kinda throws things for a loop (in classic Splatter and Dodge dialogue fashion) before D10 tells them to shut up, and he explains that there's just been a misunderstanding, and then Syth busts in with a "oh, so that's why you sent Sycorax to steal who then sent me to steal?" from above, much to TFC's utter confusion.

"Shut it, you two," Diesel 10 mutters before clearing his lack of throat and focusing on TFC again. "Then, clearly, there's been some misunderstanding here, I assure you. We don't even have a working crane back at the Dieselworks, we thought action was necessary." "Oh, so that's why you sent Sycorax who then proceeded to ask me for help stealing a crane?" Forsythia says, dangling from the 'bove. "Forsythia? Whatever are you doing up there?" the Fat Controller asks. "Having a good time, Sir, but that aside, Diesel 10 said he'd keep anyone who entered here by chance or was already here hostage as a bargaining point, so the diesels ensured I was safely within this. Luckily for me, this thing is VERY fun to swing around in. I'm… not going to get into too much trouble for this, am I?" "How come we never put the other one in a crane, then?" a diesel just offhandedly asked. "You guys were way too distracted by your shenanigans. Rookie mistake," Forsythia tutted.

TFC gets everyone back on topic, saying that he needs any accurate accounts he can get out of Forsythia and Wesley, he needs Diesel 10 to go bring back Kevin, and he needs everyone else to start cleaning up this disaster. But D10 ain't fond of that.

Diesel 10 approaches the Fat Controller with his claw. Snapping and snapping and spanning at Sir Topham, but he stands his ground. Pinchy keeps snapping, closer and closer until… it draws back. "Pinchy. Pinchy, buddy, you can't be doing this now. Why are you acting like you don't wanna do this?" Pinchy makes a gesture akin to shaking one's head and cowering back. "Pinchy." Then Pinchy hits Diesel 10. "I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" Sir Topham gets himself out of harm's way in case Diesel 10 manages to get Pinchy to listen, but it’s more “out of range” rather than “backing away,” y’know? "Diesel 10. I need you to bring back the crane,” he says. "You want your dinky little crane back? Fine. I’ll give it back." He goes outside.

Cue Diesel 10 getting even more menacing.

We cut back to Diesel 10 heading to the Dieselworks. "Pinchy, I get it. Maybe you just need to warm up a bit before getting messy. And I know just the way to prove our point." As it's starting to turn out, it was never about the Dieselworks. It was about Diesel 10 wanting to abuse his power over others. "We'll let them have their crane back alive, or in pieces. Then they'll listen."

Leave a violent diesel and a clumsy crane in a place with flammable materials, and what do you get?

A fire, of course. Never quite sorted out how exactly it happens, but it does.

Sycorax sees the fire, startled. "Rails below and sky above… that's not normal engine smoke, is it? It's a lot bigger! There's a fire!" They and their crew kick it into high gear. Their aim is to see if they can do anything about it and then get help. Sycorax sees Kevin just staring at the fire in horror and snaps him out of it with a, "Kevin, what are you doing? You need to get out of here!" "Diesel 10's trapped! He was trying to get me with his claw, but then he started a fire!" Kevin exclaims. “There’s not much we can do except call for some firefighters. Come on, Sycorax, we must hurry," their Driver says. "There’s something else we can do!” Sycorax exclaims. "Kevin, go get help! Driver, there's a fire extinguisher in the building! If it's safe to get it, we can get Diesel 10 out even quicker!” And luckily for everyone involved, they can get to it because the fire hadn't spread to the front yet. The two rush into action, putting out enough fire to get to Diesel 10. Having realized there’s two tracks here, Sycorax’s driver has gotten a cable to tie these two together for a bit so Sycorax can pull him out of there in case he can’t move himself. He could’ve probably but… proactivity. "Sycorax?! Are you stupid? There’s a FIRE. What are you doing?" "Helping you. Kevin's getting the firefighters." "And you didn't just leave me for them to save?" "Every second counts in an emergency like this, that's why it's important to get out of it as soon as possible! You're lucky I even remembered the fire extinguisher that’s inside! Now hurry!” The two get out, and the fire crew of Belle and Flynn arrive. The two stay out of the way.

And then we get the final bit from this WIP, one I'm especially fond of.

“Thanks for getting me out of there, I guess,” Diesel 10 ends up saying. How are you supposed to react to someone saving your life? Nobody does that. Especially not when you're Diesel 10. “Let this be a lesson to you, Diesel 10. Your ambition could have been your downfall. I know this fire was your doing, and, goodness, you even tried to bring harm to Kevin! ‘Tis ironic that I found myself saving you after I had renounced this entire thing and wished to make things right, but that doesn’t change the fact that my opinion of you has changed drastically." We get a shot of Diesel 10's expression. This situation is clearly some sort of uncomfortable for him. "...and I shall let this be a lesson to myself, too," Sycorax adds. "'Tis not wrong to admire another's traits, but to idolize someone else without knowing their character? That would be my true folly, had I not realized it any sooner. They say never to meet your heroes, Diesel 10. I think I know why." "You speak like you came outta the sixteenth century," Diesel 10 complains, because cracking one-liners whenever shit goes wrong is kind of his thing. Sycorax half-laughs.

There's some Sycorax dialogue here and there in this WIP I'd like to improve, because they're a wonderful character that's in constant flux between using whatever's up-to-date in terms of words and random older terminology. I could definitely see them slipping into a "tis" and "thou" sort of mood during all of this, though, makes sense when you're getting morally contemplative.

So, yeah, that's Si:DoTD.

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jamiscrazy4krerdly · 1 year

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Awesome swag new pfp = not being terrified of social media for a day yay. Everyday I suffer from the looming fear of not doing the Demigirl Catti with Ghoul Neos community justice when I am the only member of the Demigirl Catti with Ghoul Neos community </3. Can guarantee ghoul will play a humongous ginormous gargantuan part in both of my AUs that I’m working soooooo hard on!!! “I thought this was a Krerdly blog??” Sorry not sorry, get Catti namedrop jumpscared. BOO!! (Dw, the gamers still get to be the main characters or whatevsss.)

(Tysm @solasaich for the amazingest Kris ever!! I experience a little more gender envy towards them every passing day.)

Pogress (pog progress) report: shitting my pants. Favorite written down thought: “is this foreshadowing or foreshitting?” (I had a crisis about something inconsequential the day I’m writing this except I’m writing this at midnight so it was technically yesterday!!!) I will be very lucky if even one of my stuffs gets done before the end of the year. But Gamers… I am totally writing Demiromantic Kris so good it is insane; the Krerdly nation is LOSING for one of my AUs lets fucking gooo. (I’ll make dedicated posts about them EVENTUALLY!! Pinky promise. Cutting off my pinky.)

Alsooo, I learned how I like to write Ralsei so I can’t wait to put him in the spotlight for one of my fics!! Aaand then pretend he doesn’t exist for the other, sorry. My ability to sideline characters is unparalleled!! (RIP Asriel LMAO)

ALSO also I’m making a Deltarune Personality quiz on UQuiz maybe. 7 Results, 10 (?) Really Dumb Questions (so far). I color coded the assigned points for individual answers to individual questions and it made me happy. (Susie is ourple)

Ok ok ok I need to write this somewhere so now is a good time as ever: I am so MAD at myself for not putting my silly little tags in my latest ao3 fic >:( idc if it was improper or whatever the hell I should’ve been able to put #successfully-injected-20-ounces-of-silliness-into-Kris WITHOUT FEELING BAD!! I even decided NOT to mention how I think Kris (and all non-binary people for that matter) should totally one-bajillion-percent be allowed to have boobs without being ridiculed for it. The many shapes of our little flesh vessels are obviously not inherently indicative of our gender identity at all and I had the perfect opportunity to state that fact in the notes section but I DIDNT because Kris wearing a binder is part of their character and story that I’ve crafted for them and I wanted to address it properly in another future fic but it’s such a MINOR THING and won’t be this super dramatic factor that’s the center point of an entire fic like I made it out to be like WHY was I so lame and didn’t take a stance on that when I had the chanceee?? UGH!!!

Speaking of fics!! So far I’ve posted one for Christmas and Valentines, right? Well besides my draft for New Years it recently dawned on me that I still need to make one for Halloween and I’ve never written horror before (besides some stupid spontaneous one-off paragraph comment for a yaoi on wattpad IDK what 12 year old me was thinking) so YEAH idk I guess I’ll try my best, I have a couple good ideas?? If push comes to shove I can always revert to “ice cream cake full of fluff with an acidic slice of plot on the cutting knife” or some bullcrap.

Ok enough thinking, I’ve already had to do soooo much that while trying to think of a new nickname for Kris every single fic. I’ve brainstormed some real bologna, but I AM proud of the one I came up for my Deltadungeon AU! Title pending…

THIS bullet point is is dumb but… does anyone play Roblox? Yes? Ok, follow-up question: do you know what Doodle World is? It’s like the bestest pocket monster game on the site. Basically I’m forming a Deltarune theme team consisting of Kris Berdly Susie Noelle Catti and Jockington and if I record some good battles with my trashy theme team I might post them somewhere somehow idk lol but it’d be funny. I cannot WAIT for nothing to come of this.

I saw someone say they HATE Kriselle (on pintrest of all places) and since I’m a multi-shipper AND a certified hater I’m dedicating this paragraph to be a meanie to that person specifically. They are THE childhood friends to lovers!! Noelle watches in abject horror as Kris puts every shape in the square hole. Kris shows off their blades and Noelle tells them blades are for skatin’ and calls them a dingus. Noelle chases after the knight and Kris screams “GIRLFRIEND, STOP, GET BACK IN THE CARRGRHG” while she goes “youuuu come back here” and tackles the knight to the ground, knocking the helmet off and revealing Berdly underneath. Just thought I’d let you all know!!

Ok but honestly I’ve been sooo obsessed with Catti and Ralsei interactions. I have a vivid image in my head of Kris setting ghoul up on a date with an alleged “Prince of the Dark” and then Catti sees this sweet fidgety guy in bright colors and flowy clothing and ghoul’s like “figures” and it PROBABLY doesn’t work out if we’re being realistic but I’m holding out hope!! Rise up, Catsei (Ralti?) shippers!!

Ok gamers as a treat for putting up with me this far I present to you with a scenario: Kris and Berdly on a cloud-watching picnic date with a basket and flowers laying on a blanket except NEITHER of them are actually cloud-watching get epicly pranked!! Berdly’s on his 3DS playing Mii Plaza while Kris is letting bugs crawl on them and thriving. That’s so cool I almost can’t believe that it’s real. Everybody look forward to my upcoming fic based entirely around this idea titled “Kicking Back (A Green Shell)!” /j

Anyway for Halloween Krerdly is Waluaisy while Suselle is Bowigi you’re all WELCOME!!

#let xem cook…#btw Catti is the knight the angel the prince from the dark and gaster #WHY DID YOU LET XEM COOK???

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bookaddict24-7 · 1 year

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REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2022!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

*I’m doubling up my reviews this month so I can post them all before the end of the year!*

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291. A Night Divided by Jennifer A. Nielsen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This has been on my shelf for years because I had a coworker who read and loved this book YEARS ago. While I really enjoyed this, it was a really difficult book to read. Every time I read a book like this, I'm reminded of how awful human beings can be. Given everything that's happening right now in the world, this was oddly timely? Seeing the brutality of a government and its soldiers from the POV of a character (especially first person), made this so much harder to read. I think the characters in this book are incredibly brave. Even if the story is fictional, I'm sure there were similar stories of people trying to escape--some succeeding, and some sadly not succeeding. HIGHLY recommend. Especially for fans of Alan Gratz. If you have a young historical fiction lover looking for a book to read, I think this should definitely be a book added to their to-read lists!

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292. Both Can Be True by Jules Machias--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a little different from what I was expecting, but I'm grateful for stories like this one! There were many things I loved about this book, especially because there will be kids who read this book and learn that some things are okay, despite what society has tried to train them not to do. For example, showing emotions. Machias challenges the societal expectation that boys can't be emotional and that showing emotion is purely a feminine trait. There was also a lot of exploration around gender and what it means to everyone and society. One of the MC's struggles with this for a good chunk. What broke my heart, though, was one of the parents. I wanted to slap some sense into him. I do wish we had more of a closure around that, but I understand that also in the very real world you won't always have cookie cutter solutions to everything. I really enjoyed this. The blossoming young relationship between the two MCs was adorable and while I expected it to happen, it was very different from the last few MGLit LGBTQ+ titles I've read that didn't end with a very young relationship. I'd recommend this one for anyone who is struggling with their gender identity and for anyone who wants to learn more about the topics explored in this book. I think kids should definitely read this one!

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293. Perfect World Vol. 12 by Rie Aruga--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

What a beautiful conclusion to this gorgeous manga series! I loved seeing these two finally getting their happy ending, even though there were moments of grief and sadness thrown in there. We get to see how everyone's lives changed and evolved, but we especially get to see the main characters tackling parenting together. This is such a gorgeous story and I can't recommend it enough!

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294. Whiteout by Various--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I received a copy via the publisher in exchange for an honest review! For some reason, I was expecting this book to be a collection of short stories, but what I got was a lot cuter. There's a snow storm coming and a group of young adults are trying to help a heartbroken friend win back their girlfriend. Most of the chapters focusing on different love stories happening to the friends and I honestly loved these stories, even if some had me groaning with envy because seriously, how were these stories so cute? From childhood friends confessing their love for each other, to estranged friends admitting that they loved each other all along--come on, there's only so much a single girl heart can take. LOL. Anyway, this was really cute and a perfect winter read for anyone looking for cute stories with LGBTQ+ characters and black joy!

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295. The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Re-read November 2022: I don't know why I was craving a re-read of this, but it has been about two decades since I read this book. I thought that while it very much was a product of its time (some of the language and terms are a perfect example of how society thought back when this was written), it was such a cute and fun experience. I'm excited to read this series since I never finished it. It was short, sweet, and I loved seeing the adorable budding relationship between Mia and her love interest.

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296. Chicken Girl by Heather Smith--⭐️⭐️⭐️

TW: Drug and alcohol use, Sexual Assault, Fatphobia, Depression, Death I'm going to be honest here: I hated the main character. I know we're not always supposed to like the main character, but this one was just especially rough. I think it's because she had that moment in her character arc when her negative thoughts took her down paths that led to her saying or thinking (on the page) incredibly insensitive and offensive things. Granted, she's been entirely disillusioned because of the bullying she's experienced online due to her weight. I think at that age it's very easy to fall into black holes of cynisism when depression and obsessive behaviour take over. There were, however, some saving graces of this book, like her brother and how he was always trying to lift her up (despite losing himself to the stereotypes of being a member of the LGBTQ+ community), the adorable little girl she meets in the street, and the small thrown-together family under the bridge. This was a difficult read and if you're interested in reading it, please check the trigger warnings!

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297. Nightbooks by J.A. White--⭐️⭐️⭐️

I understand the appeal behind this book--especially since I definitely think it would be great for the younger readers who want a horror book that won't make them want to check for monsters under their bed. I haven't watched the show, but I wonder if I should since I felt a bit of a disconnect with the beginning of the book. It was slow and a little boring and I don't know how many times I almost DNFed it. Thankfully, I didn't because it got really interesting just after halfway through the book. I love MGLit horror because weirdly enough, these books know how to get under your skin without it being too gory or too traumatizing. I think this is a great story that emphasizes the importance of not judging a child by their interests. The idea that a child likes to write horror and must therefore be a disturbed kid is explored here and while in some cases morbid curiosity CAN lead to darkness inside, some kids are just not into the lightness of some fiction. The MC gets judged not just by the adults in his school, but is also picked because of this perceived darkness by the witch we meet at the very beginning. I think it's sad because it can completely dissuade a child from exploring their (ultimately harmless) interests. I probably won't read the second book, but this was a story I wish had given me more from the beginning, but I would still recommend to the young readers that come into my store!

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298. A Sign of Affection, Vol. 5 by Suu Morishita--⭐️⭐️⭐️

It's been a while since I read this manga and I thought it was time for me to pick it up, especially since I loved the previous volume. I'll be honest, I really enjoy the topics explored and the sign language between the characters and how they communicate, but I thought this volume was boring and lacklustre. I was at the point where I just wanted to finish it and move on. We will see how volume 6 goes!

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299. Altered by Jennifer Rush--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After having this book on my shelf for nearly a decade, I have finally read it! I was so surprised by this story because it captured my attention immediately. It was a fast-paced thriller with a touch of scifi that definitely carries more of a punch than the cover made me think. I don't know if I'll be picking up the sequel, but I think this is one of those books that definitely disappeared with the passing of time. Books like this one were some of the gems that just kind of faded. If you have this book on your shelf, give it a shot! You might just be surprised!

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300. Living-Room Matsunaga-San Vol. 11 by Keiko Iwashita--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

We have finally reached the conclusion of this wild ride, especially after that cliffhanger at the end of Volume 10! This was cute, just like the rest of the series, but I think this volume was a little rushed. The MC is too forgiving and throw in that wild trope the author randomly threw into the middle of the very short manga and this just felt like...so much happening with the fastest conclusion. I do wish there was at least one more volume in this series--both because again, this felt rushed, and because I want more from these characters. I can't say goodbye yet 😭

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Happy reading!

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lerios · 9 months

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tagged by all time icon @baynton 💕 this has been in my drafts for like a month because i wanted to answer it after i properly started succession but now i get the feeling its gonna take a while to get a proper grip of that show lmao😅

List 5 favourite shows (in no particular order) and answer questions accordingly.

1. bbc quacks

2. firefly (my absolute beloved 😍)

3. its always sunny in philidelphia

4. bbc ghosts

5. fuck it, critical role (i don't watch much TV lol)

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

Favourite? probably Wash my gorgeous comedy boy with an icon wife i spent years simping over, BUT i don't think we can ignore how fucking fixated i was on Simon. like, he was gender envy before i knew that Gender™ was a thing.

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

i lowkey highkey want to throw hands with Robert. how dare you marry a girlboss and then not appreciate her wtf. give me her number

3. What’s your favourite episode of 4?

the Thomas Thorne Affair popped off. like yeah sure my skrunkly is centre stage but also the episode is just really well done.

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

I AM A SEASON 1 TRUTHER. vox machina i miss you so much 😭

5. What’s your favourite relationship in 3?

charlie mac brotp.

6. Who is your anti relationship in 2?

jayne/river shippers are wild, she's like 12 and they don't even get along (also jayne/simon is the real OTP)

7. How long have you watched 1?

well i first posted about it in march, so like 5 months probably

8. How did you become interested in 3?

my mate jon said there was a musical episode so i watched like 10 seasons of it lol.

9. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

okay i don't really know anything about any of them, but ben seems like a vibe. i too write mostly depressing shit and don't talk to anyone about anything 🥰

10. Which show do you prefer 1, 2 or 5?

firefly

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

3 because theres 16 seasons of always sunny and only 1 season of quacks 😭😭😭

12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

my man mike is alive and has a magical badass wife that can talk to ghosts.

13. How would you kill off your favourite character in 5?

my man Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the third can never die, fuck off. (i'd kill him in a suitably emo way probably. he dies alone and still demon-infested, having scared the rest of vox machina away from caring about him once and for all, then probably getting converted into a vampire).

14. Would a ¾ crossover work?

asdagjsdag YES the gang would make such a big deal of having ghosts, they'd probably try to make money off of julian somehow. robin and charlie would be 100% best friends. the captain would be having a breakdown at thier impropriety 24/7 but fanny would get along with them way better than she'd expect lol

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

okay theres not many characters in quacks but i would love to see john/william. john absolutely needs to drug him 🥰

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

probably 5 because i got Parasocial about them for a while. pro-lgbt kings.

and i’m tagging: fucking nobody because i don't have the braincells to do social shit rn but i wanted do this when i found it again bc it looked fun

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earth2068 · 1 year

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I'VE JUST REALISED WHY I LIKE LUCILLE SO MUCH. GENDER ENVY HOLY SHIT-

Also loved the montage, very good montage

yknow i think that may be a side effect of how, when i was 12, i projected all my gender stuff onto her and she also has the same wardrobe as me. good to know im not the only one who has something gendery going on with lucille

#asks #lucille larsen #earth 2068

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akajustmerry · 2 years

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why is the eleventh doctor your favorite? /gen

i was gonna try n be funny like "cos he's just like me fr" but anyways its a mix of reasons honestly!

a big one is i just have a lot of fond formative memories tied up with that era so there's a nostalgia element. especially because I feel that was the height of dw's popularity in recent memory so it was really fun to be a fan at that time, particularly around the 50th anniversary. idk if I've ever had more fun as a who fan than being a who fan between 2010-13. if you weren't a fan or involved with the fandom then, it's one of those things that's hard to explain because it really was event television.

and then there's um............[checks notes] i'm bisexual and matt smith, karen gillan, alex kingston, arthur darvil, jenna coleman, etc. they were all, you know, very beautiful and adorable and talented and sometimes right? sometimes............i just watch things with my coochie as much as my eyes. also, i now recognise that i had immense gender envy for the 11th doctor so there's that too.

there's obviously some bias in this next part but i genuinely think that matt smith's performance as eleven is insanely good. the way he totally embodied the "old man pretending to be young cos his body is young" complex sooooo well. like the way he could drop that silly goofy awkwardness facade and switch to just being an angry vengeful old man was really haunting honestly. i remember reading a quote from someone that was like, "matt smith plays the Doctor like a young man built by old men from half-forgotten memories" or something and it's so true.

he also just had really fun chemistry with literally every person/character (i BEG ppl to watch eleven’s guest appearence on sarah jane adventures because the way he interacts with sarah and jo is absolutely perfect!! i fucking CRY). obviously he’s from the only Doctor Actor™️ to do this well (Capaldi and Tennant also do this compellingly), but he made it very easy to believe that you were watching the Doctor, the same character that's been here the whole time, and not just a version or interpretation of the Doctor in the moment. a joy to watch as someone who grew up with classic who!!

and eleven is just..........kind, you know? like. yeah he got grumpy and genocided some bitches but that's just the gig being the doctor. eleven and his era was just so full of love and wasn't afraid of that and i loved it!! i love 12's era for this too ftr. like if I could travel with any of the current Doctors, I'd pick 11 or 12 because they're kind, not always nice, but kind!!

He’s a great Doctor, especially considering some of the nonsense material moffat wrote. the whole first half of season 7 and middle of season 6 has some of the most mediocre writing in the show’s history, but matt smith did an amazing job of making it fun and compelling anyway and idk if he always gets the credit he should for that.

I think it’s easier to be a great doctor when you have great material to work with (Eccleston and Tennant), or easy to just roll with whatever content you’re given because fuck it (Whittaker), but Capaldi and Smith did not have good shit to work with a lot of the time, and they put their whole hearts into being a great character anyway, even at the show’s lower points. i’ll always walk through fire for them both for doing that. but especially eleven, because that’s my blorbo, my manic pixie mass murderer 🥺🥰

#matt smith #peter capaldi #doctor who #anon

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