#but anyway I'm just. so many emotions are swirling around in my head.

[bandgie]

After Everything

virgin!hueningkai x fem!reader

part 1 here | part 2 here

synopsis: You thought coming to terms with how you feel about Kai was going to be the hardest. But how he feels about you is a whole other animal itself.

warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, PIV, no protection (bad), loss of virginity (m!), handjob, nipple play (f!), over stimulation (m!), cock warming (if you squint), slight mentions of pregnancy, emotions, insecurities, kinda angsty, possessive reader, happy ending, idk man

5.2 words (fuck im sorry)

If there was one thing you could count on Yeonjun for, it was his stubbornness. Ever since the little show you and Kai put on for him, he's been consistent in asking for a part two. 

Yeonjun caught you in the cafeteria on campus. He’s wearing a flowy white button-down, sharp clavicle and lean arms on show. It would’ve been truly delightful to see him like this, but you just can't muster the ability to be attracted to him.

"Just one more time! One more, that's all I ask. You don't even have to fuck me. I'll even pay you..." You tune out Yeonjun's begging. It's a little difficult considering he's sitting right next to you, not letting you get a bite of your overcooked pizza in. But there's so many thoughts swirling in your head that it's not possible to pay attention anyway.

You’d done something you promised yourself you'd never do with Kai.

You went to his dorm.

Consistently.

Going to someone's place gives you an insight of who they are. He had a nice roommate, a decent space, and privacy. You told yourself it was convenient to have fun at a house rather than finding a secluded area. 

Wanting that alone time meant something. You didn't want to tease him like this anymore, you didn't want someone to see how he could fall apart at the mere feel of your lips.

He was yours to tease, to touch. No one else should have the privilege of getting a taste of that, no matter how they beg.

"Are you even listening to me?" Yeonjun accuses. 

It takes a couple of blinks for you to focus your attention on him. "If I said no, would you stop bothering me?" He laughs and crosses his legs, "Nope."

You sigh, giving up on your half eaten dinner. Yeonjun is quick to catch your annoyed expression, deciding to take another route.

"You like him huh?"

You turn your head to make eye contact, "Like who?" Yeonjun gives you a sly smile and shrugs, "You know who. I don't know why you're playing dumb."

"I'm not playing dumb," you say defensively. "You're the dumb one." 

Yeonjun chuckles at your little outburst. "No you are. You're blowing me off for Kai. Blowing me off, I'm almost offended. Like, I know you've been distant, but it's not the 'I found someone better and I don't need you anymore' distant. It's the 'I'm head over heels for someone like a loyal dog' kinda distant."

"I'm not a dog!" You yell. A few nearby people look at you weirdly, but you shake them off.

"So you're loyal then," Yeonjun muses. He shrugs again and leans back when you don't say anything. "It's written all over your face babes. Puppy love. With Huening Kai no less, who would've thought. The very same boy you used to slap around, give swirlies in the toilet back in middle school, who you made eat my cum, may I remind you."

You wince at the memories, guilt eating at you from the distant past. You excused your actions by youthful stupidity, by the irrational joy you got when seeing his tears. Even now, you like tasting them. But hurting him isn't how you want to continue. 

"Kai doesn't mean shit," you lie. It's so obvious though. You wouldn't believe it yourself. Yeonjun only makes you feel worse when he keeps smiling like an idiot. 

"Oh, he doesn't mean shit?" He questions. 

You meekly nod.

"Then it shouldn't matter that he's out with some girl then right?"

You sit up straighter and look wide-eyed at Yeonjun, "What?"

Yeonjun picks at his teeth like he's bored, but he has the most amused expression. "Just came back from a bar with Soobin before I saw you. Saw Kai and some chick there, she was chatting him up. Not that it matters though right?"

There's no time wasted when you grab your things. Your bag aggressively slings on your shoulder, almost hitting Yeonjun in the face. "What bar?"

"I thought you said he didn't mean shit?" He teases.

"For fucks sake Yeonjun what bar!" 

Yeonjun glances uneasily at the onlookers giving you dirty looks, but you couldn't care less. You can feel your heart pounding in your ears, the tightening in your chest. You think you might cry out of frustration if he keeps playing with you.

"I'll only tell you if you promise-"

"Yes!" You rise to your feet, seething. "You wanna see me get fucked? Done. Just tell me what bar."

-

Beomgyu's Bar is for college students only. The sun has barely begun to set, so there's not many people in the building. It doesn't take long to spot Kai's black hair peeking from one of the booths. He's with the same girl from the library you recognize. She obviously did her hair nicely, as if she wanted to impress him.

As if it was a date.

Anger boils in you, but you can't will yourself to move. Now that you're actually here, you don't know what to do. Should you go over there and make your presence known? Steal Kai away like last time? Should you just watch and see how things unfold?

That feeling of helplessness settles in your chest, and you feel the unfamiliar sting of tears in your eyes.

This was a dumb idea. You have no right being here, concerned about who Kai’s with. Not after how you've treated him, how you've talked down to him. Still, you can't stop staring at him from across the room.

Kai must feel your gaze because his head turns from the girl he's talking with to you instead. He recognizes you immediately even under the strobing lights. Your eyes widen at the attention, and you scramble for the exit. 

He jumps to his feet to follow you instantly, ignoring how his companion tries  to pull him back down by the sleeve.

"Where are you going?" She asks. "Do you wanna leave? We can go back to my place and-"

"I'm so sorry Anitta but I really need to do something," Kai doesn't even look her in the eyes. He focuses on freeing himself from her grip.

"Now? It can't wait?"

"No," He deadpans. "Can you please let go?"

"But Hyuka-"

"Don't call me that!" Kai surprises himself with the outburst. Not many people call him that nickname, only you've been consistent with the title since elementary. Strangely, it just sounds wrong when someone else says it. 

The sternness in his voice makes Anitta loosen her grip just enough for Kai to run away. There's no protesting as Kai runs out of the bar, his goal set on finding you.

You left merely a minute ago, you shouldn't have gone far. Kai spots you in the parking lot, looking in your bag for your keys. He doesn't know why you were there, or what to say, but what he does know is that he needs to be with you.

Within a few long strides, Kai reaches you. 

He doesn't need to say anything for you to know he's there, you can feel the warmth of his body behind you. With shaky breaths, you slowly turn to face him. You try to discreetly wipe your tears before you fully face him, sniffing. 

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" You hate yourself for being snarky, but what else are you supposed to do? Fall to your knees and ask for forgiveness? Tell him that you can actually be a decent human being despite the decade of torture?

Kai doesn't let your sarcastic words get to him - he’s used to them. Still, you can see a twinge of pain in his eyes. "You know that's not true," His voice is barely above a whisper. As if he might scare you away if he talks too loudly. 

"Isn't it?" Your voice rises. You don’t share his concern for volume. "At a bar of all places! So what,you get a taste of pussy and think you can get it all?"

Kai looks like his eyes might bulge from their sockets at your crudeness. He shakes his head feverishly, "No! It's nothing like that. She offered to go out-"

You put your hand up, silencing him. "I don't wanna hear it. It's better to have a slut like me to learn how to fuck than go with a good girl. I made it really easy for you didn't I? Here I was, thinking I was being too much of a bitch to you when really-"

"Stop!" Kai finally raises his voice. Your voice dies in your throat. Never has Kai commanded, let alone yelled, at you. There's a certain determination in his eyes that you've never seen before. It makes your heart speed, your legs tremble.

"Stop calling yourself that," Kai speaks softer this time. "Calling yourself...names. I never even thought those things about you. Ever. I mean, I do think about you, but not like that."

Despite being angry a second ago, your chest flutters at his confession. "...You think about me?"

As if realizing what he said, Kai blushes. It takes a moment before he nods, eyes finding the asphalt beneath his feet. "Yes. A lot actually."

You're still hesitant about it though, "Because I'm a bitch to you?"

Kai's head snaps up and he shakes it again, "No! Not at all..." He trails off for a moment, as if reconsidering what he said. The pause makes your heart clench. You should have known. Years of bullying would always stick no matter how much you sucked his dick.

"Well, you are...mean to me," he confirms. "But it's more than that. I kind of want you to do that to me. It's weird, and I honestly think there's something wrong with me. I just wanna be your dog sometimes."

Now it's your eyes that widen, a small laugh escaping into the air. 

Since being with Kai more, you've caught on that he tends to say outlandish things. You would pretend that it was stupid and make fun of him for it, but you've always thought it was cute. 

"Sorry," he gives you a sideways smile. "But it's true. Whether you treat me like a cat or a dog, I just wanna be with you. Yes, you gave me a hard time growing up. And yes...a part of me is still scared of the next thing you'll have me do."

You open your mouth to reassure him that it won't happen again, but he beats you to it.

"But I'd do it. I'd do it again even if it meant brushing my teeth for hours. If it meant having to buy new underwear all the time because of the stains. None of it matters to me except you."

"Hyuka..." You can taste your tears on your lips. You don't deserve this, him. Yet here he is, using his shaky hands to wipe your tears.

"I'm serious. If you don't want me to see her again I won't. Just tell me what to do-"

"No," you choke back on your sobs. "Hyuka how can you still want me after everything I've done to you? I'm a horrible person. I've made you do horrible things. I've treated you horribly. Even now, I ruined your date and made it all about me."

Kai's warm touch is soothing to your wrecked state. You can hear cars pulling up and people walking. If they're watching you and Kai, he must not care to notice. His gentle grasp on you stays, his eyes never leaving yours. 

"You're not a horrible person, and you didn't ruin anything. I've been trying to find an excuse to leave anyway. You saved me if anything," Kai admits. 

Your hands clasp over his, your thumb stroking the back of his hand. You both stand in silence, letting your breathing even out. Kai is patient as ever, softly humming under his breath.

That's another habit you've picked up on. You can sometimes hear him sing in the shower, when he's choosing a movie to put on for background noise.

"Oh wow," Kai sounds in awe. You blink a few times to see him looking up, and you mimic his movement. The sun has nearly fully settled, giving the sky a beautiful blue hue.

"It's the blue hour," he says mindlessly. "Isn't it beautiful?."

Your gaze settles on Kai's features. His strong jawline, the little bump in his nose, his full bottom lip. "Yeah," you agree, eyes fixed to his face. "It is."

"Hyuka," you call him after a second. His eyes move away from the sight, but the look of awe never leaves as he looks at you. "I'm sorry." You can feel your tears build up again. "I know it's not enough, and I don't think there's anything I can do to make up for what I did. But I'm so sorry. I wish I could blame it on the fact that I was stupid, that I was drunk. But I can't, and I won't. I'm selfish, I'm mean, I'm messed up. There must be something wrong with me too because I still want you after everything."

"There's nothing wrong with you," he whispers. Kai tenderly kisses your tears away, licking his lips. "Or maybe there is, we can be messed up together."

You giggle at him, playfully smacking his chest. "That's such a loser thing to say."

Kai laughs with you, pearly whites glistening in the setting sun, "I was hoping you'd think I was a lover."

You shake your head, still keeping the smile on your face. "So now what?" You question. "Do we kiss or something?"

Kai only shrugs, "I'll do whatever you want to do."

"We should go back to my place," you reason quickly. "It's getting cold out here."

-

His lips are on yours the second you closed the door to your apartment. Kissing Kai is nothing like anything you've experienced before. He’s shaky, messy, uncoordinated, and you love every second of it. You wonder why you never kissed him before. 

You lead him towards your room, both of you tripping and slipping off your shoes. Hushed giggles filled the air as you finally opened your bedroom door.

It’s then that Kai decides to have some decency, "You don't have roommates?"

His lips are swollen and flushed from kissing. Your eyes catch how his hair points in all directions from the previous makeout session in the car. 

You roll your eyes and slam your door closed loudly. "What about it? Take off your pants and get on the bed."

Kai is quick to listen to your directions, fumbling with his belt as you lead him to the bed. 

His hands tremble from anxiousness, struggling to unclasp himself. You take pity on him and sit him on the edge of the bed, falling to your knees. 

"You don't need to rush, Hyuka," you soothingly tell him. Your hands run up and down his thighs, trying to get them to relax. "We can take things slow. Plus I've already seen your dick. A little too late to be shy about showing me that, hm?"

Kai gives you an apologetic smile and nods, "Yeah sorry." You hear him take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Once he's calmed down enough he looks down at you and nods again, a sign to keep going. 

Carefully, you remove his belt and toss it on the ground. You maintain eye contact when you unbutton the top of his pants, moving down to lower his zipper. Kai keeps his eyes trained on yours, a habit you had taught him whenever you gave him head. 

He lifts his hips upwards so you can pool his pants around his ankles. You eye the tent in his boxers, licking your bottom lip. 

"This all for me?" You tease, using your hands to play with his waistband. When he doesn't answer, you pull back on the elastic on his underwear and let it go. The snap sound echoes in your room, and Kai jolts from the slight stinging sensation. 

"Yes! Yes it's all for you." His voice is whiny, eager to be pleased. 

Maybe you should go easier on him, you had a heart to heart with him less than an hour ago. Still, a part of you feels like you've been going too easy on him in the bedroom. Here he is, expecting pleasure from you the moment you bring him to your place. 

You've made Kai quite the whore. 

This is his first time fucking, and that knowledge alone makes you back off from your usual antics. With a smile on your face, you shimmer his boxers off. You can see his ears turn red when you coo at the sight of his hard cock. 

"It's so hard. I can't believe it's like this when I haven't even touched you. Thought you'd get tired of me." You speak mindlessly. 

"I always get like this when I think of you," Kai confesses in a small voice. Your chest blooms with butterflies, returning his blush. "And I'd never get tired of you," he quickly adds. "Never."

To show your gratitude for his words, you grasp his cock in one hand while you place your other hand on his thigh. You stroke him gently, moving to engulf his tip in skin before dragging it down. Kai hums gratefully and grips the sheets. 

It doesn't take long to hear the slick from his pre-cum. Your whole body starts following his strokes as if you're riding him.  Saliva starts to pool in your mouth from watching your hand get all the attention. Still, the emptiness in your throat isn't enough to stop. You love seeing his face twist in pleasure, the way his neck looks when his head is thrown back. 

Unconsciously, you begin to bounce on air. You pussy clenches around nothing, dripping with arousal. You're neglecting yourself from what you crave, what you need. It's been a long time since your pussy has been stuffed. Excluding Kai's tongue and your fingers, there hasn't been much action going on. You couldn't picture yourself sleeping with anyone so long as you were seeing Kai.

Now you’ve been given his dick on a platter, his tip an angry red with bulging veins. Experimentally, you bring your hand upwards to rub the head of his cock. Kai writhes in overstimulation, his hips jerking backwards to escape your touch. 

You hum, understanding. "Sensitive huh? You think you can take my pussy next?"

There's a little spark of panic in his eyes, but determination overpowers it. "I can take it." Kai fidgets with the blankets nervously, "I dunno if I'll be any good."

You take your hand off his length and rise to your feet. "You don't need to be good, Hyuka. Just lie there like a good boy and I'll do all the work." Your fingers grasp the hem on your shirt and you lift the material over your head. 

Kai has seen your boobs before. You've let him place his dick between them and use it like a fleshlight. He never gets bored of the sight though, and his dick jumps again in excitement. 

You throw the blouse in the same direction of his belt. Teasingly, you cup yourself and massage your breasts. "Your turn."

Kai hesitates in taking off his shirt, but seeing you playing with your tits encourages him to do so. He doesn't try to think about how you're staring at him as he tucks his arms in the holes and lifts the shirt over his head. 

To praise him, you reach behind your back to unclasp your bra. 

You take a few steps closer to Kai so his face is in your chest. He looks up at you as you place a nipple in his mouth, needing some type of stimulation. He obeys, sticking his tongue out to taste your skin. 

His lips suck on your bud, moving his hands to wrap around your bare torso. 

Kai's tongue flicks against your nipple, making you moan. He switches from one boob to the next, unsure of which one to pay attention to. Kai settles for taking his time on each one. 

He notes how you whine when he sucks harshly, how you arch your back further into him when he captures your nipples between his teeth. Kai watches as your skin turns purple from his bruising, a sense of pride swelling in his chest. 

Your legs begin to tremble from the feeling. You keep a grasp on the back of his head to keep him close. The desire between your legs grows stronger. Your patience wears thin as you start undoing your jeans. 

Kai backs away to let you get fully undressed. He kicks his pants off from his ankles and helps you shimmy out of your underwear. 

Both of you are completely nude, exposed. It's a whole new sense of vulnerability. Before, clothes were a way to establish power. You would keep Kai either mostly clothed or naked from down under. It gave you a sense of superiority over him, but that's the last thing, if at all, that you want to feel from him now. 

Instead, you want to feel his body on yours. His hot skin kissing your own. You might always want to take charge in the bedroom, but you don't think you could ever look down on him ever again. 

How did you ever do it in the first place?

You place yourself on his lap, pushing him down by his chest to lay him on the bed. His chest rises and falls rapidly, mouth slightly open to catch his breath. You shush quietly, an attempt to calm him down once again. "It's okay, Hyuka. I'm right here."

Some seconds pass before you place yourself above his hips. You hover over him, knees either side of his waist. Your hand reaches down to grab the base of his cock, angling it towards your entrance. Kai's hands are still fisting the sheets, but you tell him that it's okay to grab you instead.

He listens and takes ahold on your hips, sinking into the bed further. 

To let Kai get used to the feeling, you run the tip on his cock over your pussy lips, letting your arousal gather. The warmth of your sexes makes both of you moan. 

"It's so warm," he notices. You giggle and look up at him, "It's even warmer inside."

Rather than looking nervous, Kai smiles back at you expectantly. 

You take that as a green light to take him in. Slowly, you push the head of his dick inside. The crown spreads you slightly, and you have to bite your bottom lip from moaning too loudly. Kai whimpers at the first feel of your pussy, his grip tightening on you for a second. 

You sink on him a few more inches before moving back up, letting your cunt adjust to his size. There's slight pain on your part, but you're so wet that it's far too easy to slide back down. The ache only mixes with the pleasure each time you take him deeper.

Kai seems to appreciate you taking your time. His hips stay on the bed obediently, taking in the feeling of your walls gushing around him. It's not until you sit on him fully, your ass to his thighs, that he cries out. He swears he sees white from the tight pleasure, the way his cock fits snug in you.

Perfect.

With trembling thighs, you let yourself settle on Kai's girth. He's stretching you out fully, and you swear you can feel him deep in your stomach. The depth makes you twitch and squeeze around him, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

You trail your hands upwards so they rest on his shoulders. "This okay?"

Kai opens his mouth only to moan in response. He's babbling nonsense, but he's nodding rapidly. You can make out a few yes's and a string of curses, making you laugh. Experimentally, you rock your hips on him. The movement makes him whimper, his hands falling further down to grip your ass. 

You set the pace, lifting yourself a few inches up before dropping back down. The feel of his cock dragging inside of you sends shivers down your spine. There's nothing you wish more than to bury yourself deep in his cock, spasming around him. You think you could cum from just squeezing him, but Kai is practically drooling for how you're riding him.

It doesn't take long for the pace to pick up. Especially with how his fingers are digging into the flesh of your ass, itching to pick you up himself just to slam you back down. His hips start thrusting upwards to meet you halfway. 

Your breasts bounce from the force, a series of moans leaving your lips from every thrust. Neither of you care about how loud your thrusts are, skin on skin. If anything, that sound mixed with the wet slapping spurns you on more. Kai picks his head up to watch where you both connect and his dick disappears inside you, imprinting the image into his mind .

The sight alone makes Kia's balls tense. You're so warm, wet, and tight for him that he can feel his release getting closer. Thinking about finishing inside of you is beyond what Kai could have ever wished for. Making you his in any way possible, painting you in his skin in the most vulnerable way. 

It's then that Kai realizes you both have missed a crucial step. 

"Condom!" He chokes out. "C-condom. We didn't...we didn't..." Kai stutters from the power of his orgasm. It hits him so suddenly, his eyes sting from tears. It's embarrassing to cum so quickly, yet how could he not? You just feel too good.

If you heard Kai, you paid no attention to it. Instead, you help him ride out his high. You can feel his cum bury itself deep inside you, hoping to get you pregnant. He came a lot though, as expected from a virgin. Some of it slips out and drips down onto your bed. Not that you mind - it's kind of cute. 

Your hips slow when Kai's moans settle down. He seems to like you rocking on him gently, milking him for every drop. Kai blinks up at you as a few tears fall, making you clench around him.

"I didn't mean to," he sobs. His hands trails up back to your waist as he cries. "I'm s-sorry. I really didn't-"

You shut him up by leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips. His cries muffle, but he soon starts kissing you back. Kai presses you closer to him at your taste, finding solace in your touch. You pull away gently, watching how he chases after your lips blindly.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Hyuka," you console. Your hands trail up and down his chest lovingly. "I wanted you to, I liked it."

"Y-You did?" he sniffs.

Nodding, you tell him, "I did. So you don't have to feel bad. We can take care of it in the morning." Kai nods at you, though his eyes still look unsure. 

You decide that you won't have the opportunity to cum tonight, lifting yourself off him. 

Kai's touch surprises you when he keeps you still on his softening cock. "But...you didn't..." He looks up at you shyly, pressing his cock deeper to get his point across. 

You mewl at the feeling, tensing for a moment. "It's okay. We don't have to, I know you're tired."

Despite his sleepy eyes, Kai shakes his head. "I'm not. Use me. I can still be good for you."

Kai gently thrusts his hips upwards, not as deep but still enough to make a whole new warmth of gush leave your pussy. There's no way in hell you can deny yourself from pleasure any longer. Even if his dick isn't as hard, you can still use him, like he offered.

Kai hisses from how feverishly you begin to bounce on his cock. He's still so sensitive, but your need to cum outweighs the care for his own pain. He needs to see how you cum around his dick. Even if you rub him raw, fuck him for hours on end, the feeling of your cunt dripping with your cum around him is all he can think about.

Tears once again prick his eyes, and your hips rock faster upon seeing them. Kai's length is so hot and slippery in you, you can feel your orgasm approaching you quickly. The warmth in your belly builds, chills covering your body.

Still being the obedient boy he is, Kai doesn't stop fucking up into you. Not even when the tears fall down his cheeks or the moans are tumbling uncontrollably from his lips again. You swear you see his eyes go crossed from the overstimulation, spurring you on further. 

No matter how nice you'll be with Kai, no matter how much love you'll give him, seeing him cry will always be your favorite sight.

The building of heat in your stomach finally bursts, flooding your orgasm on Kai's cock. You twitch and moan when you cum, clenching harshly on Kia's abused dick. Kai rocks his hips against you to ride out your high, mimicking how you did for him.

You steady yourself on his shoulder before collapsing on him chest to chest. Both of you breathe raggedly, sweaty bodies mingling with each other. You both pay no mind, opting to stay still instead. 

Nobody makes a move to pull Kai out of you. Not that you wanted to, it felt rather nice to have him inside. 

Silence falls over you two as you steady your breaths. It's as though the world stopped moving. All you can feel is Kai's embrace as he wraps his arms around you. You snuggle closer to him, planting a brief kiss on his chest.

"How are you feeling?" You ask, lifting your head up to see him.

Kaipeers up at you, looking thoughtful. "I feel...thirsty."

You adjust yourself so that you're supporting yourself on the palm of your hands, preparing to get up. "I can get some water-"

"No. You stay here, I can get it." Kai easily lifts you off his dick, both of you whining at the loss of contact. He sets you beside him and sits up, grabbing his clothes that he hastily puts on. 

He gives you one last look before slipping out of your room. You take this brief time to collect your thoughts, your feelings. 

Or so you try until your phone goes off. You sit up to search for the device on the floor, spotting it near your pants. You crawl off the bed, legs aching from being in one position for so long. Once the phone is in your hand, you climb back in bed and open your notification. 

Yeonjun: i expect my compensation within the next few weeks

You groan, hating yourself for agreeing to his terms. There's no time to think about responding when Kai walks in with two glasses of water and a towel he must've found. 

You shut your phone off and welcome your new lover back in bed. You'll have to worry about your promise to Yeonjun another time.

a/n: and thats a wrap! thank you so much for reading this little series and I hope you enjoyed it! I did *slightly* hint at an epilogue, but we'll see if I actually do it. huge thanks to @then-make-me for editing and revising!! this was defo a chore im sure! thank you so much!

#smut #txt #txt smut #txt x y/n #txt yeonjun #txt x reader #txt soobin #txt taehyun #txt beomgyu #txt heuningkai #txt kai #tomorrow x together #tomorrow x together smut #kai smut #heuningkai #huening kai smut #huening kai x reader #huening kai #hueningkai #hueningkai smut #yeonjun smut #kpop #kpop smut #kpop x reader #huening kai x you #huening kai x y/n #kai x reader #kai x you

[fanfreakinfiction]

My Gods Are Not Kind to Lonely Mothers

Chapter 2: Trying to Understand

Ch. 1 | Masterlist 🖤

4.3K words // Din Djarin x pregnantf!reader

Pairing: Din Djarin x pregnantf!reader (Reader is younger but not weirdly young) Reader was a sex worker. Reader’s first language is one I made up she speaks pretty good basic but struggles finding certain words. Reader is pregnant!

Summary: How can Din understand and respect your plans without being apart of them? He tries to help, but your stubbornness rivals that of a Mandalorian.

Tags: SLOW BURN, Some fluff, made up Star Wars culture & religion, split POV, slight language barrier, mention of death, mention of child death, dark!, lots of relationship building in this.

Warnings: mention of child loss and grief.

A/n: Alright so let me explain Illa-ishi real quick because I never want to get the wrong idea across. Illa-ishi are mainly single mothers who birth at the lower pool of the Mountain of Mothers. The reason why Illa-ishi give birth at the lower pool and pass away, isn’t the gods punishing them for being single mothers. The journey up to the lower pool when a mother is in the throws of birth is so rigorous and difficult without the help of their partner that many perish from exhaustion. By the time they make it up the cliff to the lower pool some do not even have energy to give birth which is why there are skeletons in the bed rolls. Please comment or ask me questions if anything is ever unclear! Also I know this is a shorter chapter than Ch. 1, I initially wanted this to be a two part series but I found I have more to write than I thought. Anyways, enjoy this soft chapter! I will update this series every Friday.

Standing in the pool, you felt his hand on the right side of your waist. He'd carried you from the spot near the cliff into the shallow end of the hot spring and set you down into the water as if you were sacred. Paralyzed by the sudden display of kindness after the last months spent alone, you felt the cold metal of his helmet lean heavily on the back of your head.

A slow fear crept up from somewhere deep inside the traumatized confines of your heart, the fear immobilizing you to his actions just as they'd done the night he paid for your company. Frozen in place, thoughts of him pushing you into the spring and drowning you flooded your mind. Then you felt his left hand rest on the small of your back, leading you to think he'd take you again as he'd done in the expensive room back on Tatooine. You'd worked in that brothel for years and saw the desperation of men in need, the aftermath of what they'd done to women they had no emotional attachment for.

Just as you started to form a plan of action against him, you heard the softest noise from behind. It took maybe thirty seconds for the sound to register within your mind – he was crying. The strangled sound of a sob left the static of the modulator on his helmet, which was then followed by the most sincere "I'm sorry" you'd heard since the day your father had sold you.

For a moment, you just looked ahead at the milky waters of the spring and the steam swirling around you. The small green baby that the Mandalorian had brought with him sat nearby the shallow end of the pool, gazing into the water below, his small hand chasing the steaming swirls that rose into the air. You felt the life within you stir, your contractions coming inconsistently now, almost as if your body was confused. The warmth of the leather-clad hand on your right side tightened slightly as you heard one more sob break over the roar of the waterfall.

In a show of cosmic irony, you couldn’t help the small but sad smile that graced your lips as you trailed your bandaged right hand up to lace your fingers over the back of his hand, and you spoke, “Don’t cry.”

His sobs seemed to quiet, as if he hadn't expected your touch, your reassurance. The tension in his grip lessened. After a moment of his head resting on the back of yours, you assumed he regained his composure as he slowly pulled away. Shyly, you looked over your shoulder and offered a small tearful smile to his visor before turning your attention back to the spring. Taking careful steps forward, you found a place to lower yourself back once more into the murky depths. You moved to sit where your back was resting on the jagged rock wall.

Out of your peripheral vision, you saw him standing in the same spot. His hands were frozen in the air where they’d rested on your body, until he slowly clenched his fists and lowered them back to his sides.

He stood like a statue just looking at you, his weight shifted to his left, the grey of the flightsuit around his knees now a dark grey from the spring's water. The edge of his grey cape touched the surface of the spring, wetting the frayed and somewhat burned seams.

You felt an awkward discomfort as his helmet seemed locked in your direction. It really made you uneasy that you couldn’t tell where his gaze was or what emotion was on his face. Was he happy? He had cried… you had done the same when you found out.

“You-”

“What’s-”

You both spoke over one another in unison, causing a blush to creep up your neck as you looked away. As if some unseen force felt the tension in the air, the small green child, enamored with the steam of the spring, fell face first into the warm water.

“Grogu!” The Mandalorian’s voice bordered on panicked as he moved from his stiff position to where the child had fallen in. In a swift movement, the Mandalorian had grabbed the child by the tan robe he wore, pulling it to the surface within seconds of the splash. The child blinked his large eyes frantically as he let out some displeased grunts. Holding the child above the water now, the Mandalorian looked the child over and then moved to hold him in his arms. “We’ve talked about this…” The Mandalorian sighed as he looked at the child. You couldn't help the smile that graced your face.

"Does it get into problems?" You spoke carefully as you tried to remember the words in basic.

Being on your homeworld was the happiest you’d felt in years, and slipping back into Kith, your native language, was like putting on your favorite dress. But coming out of Kith back into basic was proving challenging; maybe the Mandalorian spoke Huttese, which you knew almost as well as basic.

“Yeah…he does,” the words fell in a resigned huff from the man clad in silver as he held the now dripping child.

“Oh…Is he…your child?” You asked slowly as you gauged the man’s reaction. Your eyes flicked from his helmet to the water covering your belly where your hands fidgeted under the water. Anxiety filled your thoughts as you waited for his response.

After a painfully long silence, the Mandalorian sighed and shifted to set the green child on the ledge of the spring nearby and sat next to the child, leaving his covered feet in the spring. Adjusting his cape as he sat, he turned to run a gloved hand over the child’s tan robe before speaking in your direction.

“It won’t look like him…if that’s what you’re asking,” he said dryly, and your head snapped in his direction, studying him for a moment before you thought he might be trying to joke. A smile graced your lips as you moved in the water to slowly approach him. Your right hand held onto the spring’s rocky wall as you moved towards him and the child who fidgeted with a metal object around his neck. Within a foot of the child, you looked the soaking baby over with a cocked eyebrow and critical eye before turning to face the Mandalorian.

“He is…” you paused, trying to find the word in basic as you felt a rush to do so, “…c-ute,” you sounded out the word slowly and looked up at the man sheepishly as the child made a surprised “eh!” sound and smiled toothily at you.

“Basic isn’t your first language?” It was almost not a question from the Mandalorian, and you couldn’t help but feel a hot embarrassment from his tone.

“No,” you said as you turned away again, caressing your belly under the water, “I am Kith.”

“I am Mandalorian,” he said, and you thought he might be patronizing you.

“I see and know,” you retorted back as you shot a soft glare his way.

A sound emanated from his helmet, and you thought it might be a sigh. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he started to say as he reached into his bandolier for something. “I am Mandalorian, but I am different from other Mandalorians. I am bound by a creed.” He pulled out a piece of paper as he spoke, and you recognized the paper immediately. “The Mountain of Mothers…” he spoke again as he unfolded the pamphlet. “You’re here because you believe in this?” He asked as he looked over the paper.

You eyed the pamphlet that Don Mai must have so generously forced into the bounty hunter’s hand. Your eyes trailed from the pamphlet back to his helmet, and you nodded your head yes.

“I understand,” he says as he looks over the pamphlet, the child next to him suddenly taking interest as well. “The creed I believe in… it is my responsibility to take care of foundlings.” His helmeted gaze shifts slightly from the pamphlet to the child next to him.

“Found-i-ling?” you repeat the word back to him slowly in confusion.

His head turns to look at you, and he hands the pamphlet to the child who plays with the paper.

“Foundling,” he confirms with a small nod. “Children who are adopted by my people, warriors of Mandalore… This is the Way.”

Your gaze moves from his to the child next to him, and you nod.

“He is found-i-ling,” you say in confirmation as you nod your head toward the green child.

The Mandalorian nods in confirmation, and you see his hands clench the edge of the rock.

“And you…” he starts, “you are also my responsibility...”

You hated that word. Responsibility. Such a long word that was so often thrown in your face as a guilt tactic. The foreman who your father had sold you to made sure you always had responsibilities.

You were no more than eight when your father had sold you to the greasy man on Tatooine, and your life had been work ever since. The foreman wasn’t completely cruel; there were masters on Tatooine that were far worse. You had a bed, food, and even a bath. The foreman protected you from disgusting prying eyes of patrons who thought you were merchandise and not just a helping hand. But he also worked you to the bone, washing pillows, washing gowns, sewing gowns, steaming tapestry, cleaning the rooms, making meals, fixing the building, making errand runs – your responsibilities.

“No,” the word fell from your lips as if it were law. The Mandalorian’s head tilted towards you as if he didn’t hear you.

“Yes. You are my responsibility,” he repeats. “This is the Way.”

“No.” The word was slightly more harsh coming out as you turned to face him now. The sun had finally fallen behind the sky, and you were almost surrounded in darkness as you stared him down.

You could sense his hesitation, the momentary lapse in response, but the Mandalorian was resolute. “It is the Way. We take care of our own. The Creed guides me, and I cannot abandon my responsibilities.”

The weight of those words hung in the air, the silence stretching between you. The cold grip of your past life clawed at your heart, and you couldn't bear the thought of being bound by another's expectations. You had yearned for freedom, for a chance to shape your own destiny, and here, in the darkening solitude of the hot spring, those dreams seemed to be slipping away.

—

Your face was starting to turn pink from the heat of the spring as the word left your mouth. Din sat there staring, or truthfully, he was glaring at you from under his helmet. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say your stubbornness made you more a Mandalorian than it did a Kith. He battled with himself; this was not a place he wanted to be.

Din had always been careful when it came to his intimate business. When he and Xi’an would mess around, he would always pull out even though he knew she had an implant. He’d never actually finished inside anyone before, not until he’d taken you. To ease his guilt, he had told himself it was because of his inebriated state, but he knew by the time he’d slowly stripped you in that warmly lit room, the Corellian Whiskey had worn off. Maybe it had been because you were the first virgin he’d ever taken, the tightness of your heat on his fingers like a Dathomirian witch's call. Maybe you were a witch, which is what he was trying to understand, trying to learn more about you.

His eyes had scanned the pamphlet now being crumpled by Grogu’s hands. He realized the Mountain of Mothers was a sacred place, much like the living waters on Mandalore. The stubborn part of him wanted to scoop you from the spring and carry you back to his ship to take you to Mandalore, but he couldn’t do that. You were too close to birth and he really had no place to interrupt your plans… plans he hadn’t been a part of. The dark parts of his mind reminded him.

"What is your plan?" He found himself asking you. He watched as you looked up at him from your spot beneath the comforting spring waters, your brow furrowing. You had placed your right arm on the surface ridge of the pool and had laid your head down to watch Grogu.

"I will rest here," your voice sounding tired, your hair damp from the steam as you offered a sad smile.

"For how long?" He asked next, watching your face carefully to gauge your emotions.

You shrugged and looked down at your belly. "Until Noona arrives.”

Please. Kriff. Please don’t let Noona be the name for this child, his child. He cringed internally.

"Noo-na?" He repeated back, trying to hold down the unhappy tone of his voice. You nodded your head as if he was an idiot.

"Noona," you said with a nod. "Or… Baby."

He breathed a sigh of relief, just Kith for baby.

"Then what?" He asked as Grogu stirred next to him, clambering up into the Mandalorian's lap, leaving a trail of water and the now soggy pamphlet behind as he climbed.

"We rest," you said sadly.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was getting frustrated with this beat around the bantha approach.

"After you rest?" His voice sounded a bit more terse than he intended. He watched as your head snapped up at him in annoyance, feeling confusion at your sharp reaction.

"We rest," you replied back, matching his terseness.

"For how long?" He gritted his teeth.

You splashed the water as you threw your hands up slightly and glared at him. "Forever!" You shouted back at him, and confusion laced his face.

"I don’t understand," he replied, as Grogu pulled at his bandolier from his lap, a sign he was getting hungry.

A moment of silence lapsed as your gaze slowly traveled to the skeletons surrounding the pool, now shrouded in darkness. You sighed as you looked at the remains mournfully and then slowly back to your belly.

"Illa-ishi come here to rest, forever," you said.

The skeletons and bone fragments all made sense in his mind now, and it made him sick.

"What?" His voice was laced with confusion and a hint of anger.

Before he could register the emotions swirling in his chest, he was already standing up in the water. Grogu, sensing the shift, looked up warily at his father. The Mandalorian glanced over at the pack leaning against the black jagged rock next to your bedroll, and he moved towards it out of the water.

—

Your heart raced as you watched the Mandalorian abruptly leave the spring and walk towards your pack and bedroll. You watched with bated breath as he set down the green child next to your pack on the ground and knelt down to your bedroll.

"NO!" You shouted as you watched him start to roll the bedroll back up. You quickly moved from your position in the water, walking carefully towards the edge. In an instant, he was moving in front of you, leaving the small child behind. It frightened you to see the speed at which he moved, the menacing aura he gave off as he moved to bend down, eye level with you.

He rested one hand on his right knee and the other hand on the ground next to him as he spoke.

"I am trying to understand your culture, but I will not allow you both to die here," his voice was menacing and sharp, bringing tears to your eyes.

"We are meant to die here," your words came out laced in pain and fear as you tried to stare him down. His hands balled into fists as he stared back at you.

"Why," he asked, and you could tell he was angry, and it wasn't fair.

Why was he angry when he had played no part in the last months?

You instantly felt remorse at that thought.

Throughout your whole pregnancy, you wouldn't allow yourself to think ill thoughts of him, afraid they might pass into Noona. Really, it wasn't his fault. You had no way of contacting him.

After your night with him, you'd taken your cut from the foreman and bought transport off of Tatooine. You spent weeks hopping planets and seeing different worlds, grateful for the credits you'd saved over the years, but even more so thankful for the six thousand credits that bought your freedom.

When you found out you were pregnant, you'd been staying on the mining world of Gorse, visiting the moon Cynda known for its illustrious thorillide crystal mines. You felt as if your freedom was snatched from you once again.

You knew this meant you were destined to be Illa-ishi and knew you'd be birthing a dead baby at the lower pool. It hurt, and you felt it wasn't fair, to you or the life inside you. A life that wouldn't exist outside of your own body, which is why you hadn't even bothered seeking out the Mandalorian.

Besides, all you had to go off of was the sigil on his pauldron, and since the Empire decimated Mandalore, it was impossible that you could find him again. Most Mandalorians had gone into hiding, and being already two months pregnant, there wasn't enough time to try and figure it out. You had accepted that you would be alone, that you were Illa-ishi, and that you could only enjoy the months ahead while Noona grew inside you.

You had traveled back to Kith in your fifth month of pregnancy and taken up work alongside Don Mai, the self-appointed mayor who graciously offered you a job in the fuel station. But soon your time was up, and you'd started your journey three days ago with the accepted belief that you'd never leave the Mountain of Mothers.

Still, the rational part of your mind sympathized with the man staring you down. You honestly believed you wouldn't see him again, and yet here he was. You knew that Kith was a planet along the outer rim, and nobody cared to understand your culture. Your people were not warriors like Mandalorians, nor powerful witches like Dathomirians. Your people were peaceful and slow.

Don Mai had a point about one thing, "People need to see the wealth of culture we have here. Kith would want the galaxy to know of the sacrifices he made for his wife."

—

Your eyes searched his visor, and he watched as you struggled internally. For a moment, he felt shame at his tone because it elicited a glassy look in your eyes, but he was angry. Not angry at you but more angry with himself. He sat eye level with you, waiting for your explanation when he heard a sigh leave your lips.

“Illa-ishi do not make it to the upper pool to give birth,” Your words offered little to soothe his confused anger. He opened his mouth to speak, but you continued, “Illa-ishi die at this pool with our babes, as a price for our solitude.”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. You truly believed you would die here, along with the life he helped create. He rose from the crouched position as he looked down at you in the now looming darkness.

He studied your face for a moment before his eyes drifted lower to your full breasts and belly. A twinge of pride at the sight of you was quickly extinguished by the look on your face. You looked sad, like you didn't want to believe what you did, like some part of you wanted to make it to the upper pool. Slowly he extended his right hand down to you before he spoke, “You are not alone, not anymore.”

—

Helping you from the pool carefully, he watched the steaming water rush off your body, leaving droplets all around you. A shiver quickly rushed through you, and he cursed himself for not being more prepared when he left his ship. He didn't even bring Grogu a snack. He stood in front of you, unconsciously zoned out as he tried to think of his next steps.

He didn't realize how uncomfortable you'd become by his gaze until you moved your hands to cover yourself in shame. Your face was flushed pink, and he realized you assumed he'd been standing there staring at you like some teenage boy. He felt a rush of embarrassment; he normally never spared a thought for anyone, never cared what they thought, but for some reason, he really didn't want you to think ill of him.

"Get back in the water," his voice was low, and it almost startled you.

He saw the look of confusion on your face, and he sighed audibly. "Just… you'll be warmer in the water until I can make a fire," he said reluctantly, and he watched your eyebrows shoot up.

"A fire?" You almost sounded excited.

He nodded as he moved to help you situate yourself back into the water.

The green child cooed from his spot, now sitting on your bedroll as he watched. After situating you back into the water, Din looked back to Grogu; he could tell he was getting hungry and tired.

"I need to go collect wood. Would you… just make sure he doesn't get into trouble?" The Mandalorian hesitated to ask you for anything, but he knew Grogu would just inhibit what could be a quick task. He watched your face as you glanced up at him from in the pool and behind him to the child.

"Yes," you said, almost so quietly that he strained to hear it.

"I won't be long," he told you as he stood and immediately walked over to the edge of the cliff to make his way back down toward the forested area.

Left alone with Grogu, you couldn't help but feel a mixture of emotions. The Mandalorian had been harsh, distant, and mysterious, yet he had also shown moments of compassion and care. You watched the child as he cooed and played with his small, metal pendant, seemingly unfazed by the ordeal.

—

The thought of a fire excited you after three days of eating cold food and sleeping on the cold ground. Maybe if Noona was tired and not ready to come, you could actually enjoy your last night of sleep. Surely Noona would be here tomorrow?

"Rissi, Noona?" (Right, Noona?) You spoke to your oddly calm belly. You thought back... when had your last contraction been? After the Mandalorian had shown up, but that had now been almost two hours ago.

You felt unease rise up into your throat.

You only felt this afraid once during your pregnancy, and it was when you hadn't heard Noona's heartbeat at the small makeshift medical office in the fuel station. It wasn't until you and Don Mai had realized the medical droid's radar equipment had malfunctioned that you found peace.

But now you could feel the panic and no peace. A part of your mind was whispering that Noona was already gone. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes as you started moving frantically towards the shallow part of the pool. You rested your left hand on the soaked fabric of your dress as you clambered towards the edge of the pool.

"Pessi Noona... Pessi!" (Please baby, please.) you whispered frantically as you tried to feel anything. The rock floor of the pool felt harsh under your bare feet, and you slipped a little at one point, causing you to stumble.

From your right, you could hear the small green child make a grunting noise. Pushing yourself up in the water, you felt your breath quickening with panic as you moved out of the water. Tears were coming hard, and you couldn't stop the sobs that came from your mouth.

"Pessi a Noona! Pessi! Pessi!" You cried as you made it from the pool to the harsh gravel-covered surface of the rock surrounding the pool. Looking down at your belly, you pressed your hands rather harshly to feel. You could make out two lumps at the top, maybe knees? You couldn't be sure.

You felt a tugging on your dress, and as you tried to look down past your belly, you caught a glimpse of a green ear. The small green child tugged fervently on your dripping gown.

"Noona a nissa movissi" (baby is not moving), you tried to explain to the small green child who you could hardly see. You sobbed and tried to move toward the bedroll. Through your tears, you heard the small child behind you as his feet pattered softly on the rock behind you. You moved to sit on a rock nearby, lowering yourself to the ground, you planted your feet and caressed your belly.

"Pessi Noona, gividas sotissi" (Please baby give me something), you cried as you continued pressing frantically, trying to get Noona to move or kick, anything.

You felt the lightest touch on your arm as you sat and hyperventilated. Looking to the left, you saw the small green child look at you curiously. His large brown eyes were full of so much emotion, something you couldn't place. Before you could make another sound, you felt the edges of your vision begin to fade.

Maybe this was it... the last moment with you and Noona... would the Mandalorian come back and disturb you? You didn't want to leave the Mountain of Mothers, you wanted to die here with Noona, stay here with Noona, forever…

The last thoughts flashed in your mind before you felt yourself succumb.

"Rest," a small voice whispered through your mind.

#din djarin #din djarin x female reader #din djarin x pregnant reader #din djarin x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #star wars the mandalorian #the mandalorian #star wars fanfiction #my gods are not kind to lonely mothers #MGANKTLM

[danikamariewrites]

ok soo basically i lovee reading acotar fan fics and I REALLLLYY wanna see nesta and azriel get together like idk they're personalities kinda match? Like they enjoy being in control and quite spaces. Like imagine nesta reading a book while azriel sharpens his daggers or cooks for her (trust me he's an amazing cook). Anyways hope you find the time to publish this. if you do ty!

A/n: Hi anon! I'm sorry this took so long, I loved this idea bc I low-key love this ship. I wanted to take my time and think through this before I wrote it. I hope u don't mind that I did it in bullet form

Warnings: hurt/comfort

Nesta and Azriel are very alike in many ways, more than Nesta cares to admit

Azriel is really good at reading her emotions and body language

Even though they don't have Rhys’ powers they can communicate telepathically

There are some evenings when they don't need to communicate

One night Nesta came home pissed. Az could tell by the way she slammed the door

He was sitting on the couch sharpening Truth Teller when she climbed on the couch and laid her head in his lap, staring at the ceiling absent mindedly

“Nes darling, whats -” she cuts him off, “I don't want to talk about it. Can we just...not talk?”

He nods, kissing her forehead he slides out from under her head

Azriel moves to the kitchen and starts to prepare Nestas favorite dinner

Nesta stays on the couch, cuddling a pillow to her chest

Two of his shadows stay with Nesta

They play with her hair and move up and down her back in a soothing motion

Azriel sets the plates on the table and goes back to the living room

Her back was turned to him as he knelt down

Ariel taps Nesta’s shoulder, she snaps her head toward him

He stands, holding out his scared hand for her to take

Nesta takes it, rising from the couch, and Azriel leads her to the kitchen

They eat in silence, Nesta lays her thigh on top of Azriel’s

Once they were finished eating Azriel scoops Nesta up in his arms and carries her to their bedroom

He puts Nesta down on the bed and gets PJs for the both of them

After they get dressed Azriel sits behind Nesta and brushes her hair

She liked when Az did her hair, it calmed her

Once he was done Azriel pulls back the covers

He tucks Nesta in before getting under and pulling her to his side

His shadows swirled around them, blocking out any light from outside

He whispered good night to Nesta and spoke for the first time in hours whispering good night too

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane

#acotar fanfiction #acotar reader imagine #acotar #acotar reader fic #acotar imagine #azriel acosf #nesta acotar #nesta acosf #azriel acotar #nesta x azriel #nesta fluff #azriel fluff

[bettathanyou]

Confessions Of Cedric

A shameless self insert gender neutral reader x Cedric the Sorcerer fic. It's an AU that takes place some time after Cedric is pardoned for his actions against the kingdom, but before he gained everyone's trust back.

There isn't a lot of exposition because I was too lazy to write it.

I'll post the rest when I feel like it, but I think this is still readable even without full context. All you need to know is that there's a big misunderstanding due to... Cedric's skeletons in the closet, and both of you got into a nasty fight/breakup. Is there any other Cedric lovers out there anymore to even read this???? Also I'm putting this song here cuz I think the main theme is a good visual for cedrics frame of mind/feelings in this situation

Yes I cried

Signed truly smitten,

-Betta Fish

"After everything we've confessed to each other about our suffering, you really thought I wouldn't understand?" Your eyes bore into Cedric's, a mix of anger, hurt, sadness, and love swirling together on your face.

"I... I don't know." Cedric hung his head, grief and shame dimming the light in his eyes. "I really did want to tell you, I didn't mean to keep it secret for so long. But, you just-" Cedric's voice grew hoarse, and you could see tears slowly filling up in his eyes. Your eyes immediately softened, and you clasped your hands around Cedric's cheeks in comfort. Cedric inhaled a shaky breath, blinking fast to stop the tears from leaking out. You caress his distressed face with your thumb, moving in closer to Cedric.

"It's okay Ceddy, take your time. I'm here." You coo softly. You look up at the sorcerer, feeling the rest of your negative emotions shrivel up in an instant. Now, your heart aches with love and compassion for the man in front of you. Tears slip from Cedric's lacquer colored eyes, dripping down his ruddy cheeks and onto your fingers. You wait patiently for him to calm down to continue his train of thought. After a few moments, Cedric brings his hands up to clasp them tightly in his own.

"I wanted to tell you sooner. But then... you look at me, just like that. Like I'm the most lovely thing you've ever seen, even though I've done such horrible, awful things." Cedric's voice cracked, but he pressed on, the words spilling out uncontrollably like the tears falling from his eyes.

"And even though I knew that not telling you would blow up in my face, like it always does-" Cedric laughed humorlessly, his chuckle sounding more like a sob. "I didn't want to lose you, I didn't want you to stop looking at me with love and kindness. I convinced myself that if you knew what I almost did to the kingdom... You'd hate me, and rightfully so." Cedric shakes his head, refusing to look at you.

You try to catch his eye, but Cedric still refuses to meet your eyes. Without thinking, you open your mouth to speak.

"I could never hate you, Cedric.... I love you."

Your mouth hung slack as you realized that you just told Cedric you loved him, out loud, for the first time ever. Your heart was pumping a million miles a minute, yet your mind fell into a state of complete tranquility. It was like you completely trusted the truth of your own words fully for the first time. A thick silence fell over you and Cedric, and even the birds hushed their songs as if they didn't want to interrupt this moment. Cedric broke the silence first, exhaling a shaky breath.

"I know."

Cedric gave you a bittersweet smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. Your face began to fall, and your rapidly beating heart stopped dead in your throat.

"I was also afraid that despite everything, you would choose to love me and stay with me anyways; because that's just who you are. It's one of the many reasons I love you, too." Cedric gazed at you adoringly, his cheeks and ears lighting up like a flame.

"I was scared that if everyone knew of us, you'd be treated differently... I didn't want you to be ostracized because of my mistakes- I was so convinced that either way, I'd ruin you." Cedric's voice fell to a hush, and the pain of his own confession hit you like a truck. You made a choked noise from the back of your throat, tears welling up in your own eyes.

"Cedric... " The words on the tip of your tongue fizzled out, and the lump formed in your throat made you mute.

"And now, even in trying to protect you I ended up hurting you instead. I truly am sorry for everything." Cedric's voice becomes thick with emotion, and he swallows hard. You stare up at Cedric, still unable to use your voice. Your heart was screaming to tell him you've already forgiven him, and that you want nothing more than for Cedric to kiss you and tell you he loved you over and over again.

"I know that after everything, it would be selfish to even ask- but if you were to give me one more chance, I promise you that I'll never shut you out again."

Cedric's voice was clear and strong for the first time, but his eyes were full of trepidation at hearing your response. You could feel deep in your bones how much you ache for him back by your side. Acting on that feeling, you pull him flush against your body, flinging your arms tightly around his waist. You feel his body stiffen as he processed what was happening. You bury your face into his chest, inhaling his scent deeply. The familiar sharp smell of burnt citrus, lavender, sweat, and sweet saccharine of his lab chemicals stilled your heart as you felt his own about to burst from his chest.

"Is that... A yes?" His hands lightly rested on your back, hesitating to fully embrace you.

You nod, squeaking out a small "yes." You parted from Cedric, locking eyes with him.

"I never want to be apart from you ever again. I forgive you, Cedric. Can you forgive me, too?" You ask shyly, your lips pressed together tightly in anxiety.

"I think we both know the answer to that, love." Cedric's mouth quirked up into a broken smile, his eyes misting up again. You flash him a crooked smile of your own, your eyes never leaving his gaze.

"Is that a yes?" You echoed Cedric's words, tilting your head playfully. You bit down on your lower lip to stop yourself from laughing as Cedric's eyes lit up mischievously.

"Will a kiss suffice for an answer?" Cedric purred, brushing his thumb against the part of your lip you just bit down on. Your eyes widened at his forwardness, but you quickly recovered. Instead of answering, you tugged at his robe to draw him in.

Following your movement, Cedric's lips connected tenderly against your own. As both your lips made contact, it felt as if time itself held its breath to not ruin the moment between you both. Cedric's hands cupped your face, cradling you as if you would shatter in a thousand pieces. Tears threatened to come again at his gentle touch. Continuing the kiss, your hand found its way to the nape of his neck, burying your fingers in his silky hair. Your other hand leaned into his chest to keep your balance, and you felt his heart beating wildly. Cedric slowly deepened the kiss, his hands leaving your face to pull you in closer by the waist as he snakes his own fingers into your hair. You hummed approvingly, your pulse rushing in your ears. His kiss felt like home, and you never knew a more blissful moment than being in his arms. After a few more lingering kisses exchanged between you both, you pull away slowly to take in a breath.

Cedric looks down at you lovingly, his eyes glazed over and his cheeks flushed. A dopey smile broke out on your own face, and you bring Cedrics hand up to brush your lips over his gloved knuckles affectionately.

"I love you." Cedric drew out, savoring the way the phrase felt on his tongue.

"I love you too, Cedric." You brush your fingers through his silver bangs, cupping his chin in your hand.

#cedricthesorceror #sophia the first #readerxcedric #cedric the sensational #au fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #Spotify

[give-soup-please]

I warned you about those stairs man /ref

Anyways!

Swing music is super duper catchy. Just the beats for it, and the use of instruments make me go insane!

I get some music being very all over! I know some music can be super overwhelming. Like heavy metal? Very overwhelming.

This will be my last question since I'm very eepy so be ready!

If tomorrow it was told that you were to be gone, what would you do. You can give multiple answers if you want if you just can't decide.

My personal answer would be to just live it out. Say my goodbyes sure but live my life regularly. Maybe I'll go all out but mainly just living life. Because that's what I do the best at!

Can't wait to hear your response. It's been fun speaking!

(waves) it's been nice being social through the inbox. stay safe, ok?

going to change the wording of your question just a bit, hope that's alright

if i had 24 hours to live... let's say 9AM-9AM the next day.

i'd wake up at my usual time: 8:30am i'd shower. drink some caffiene get that shit outta the way so the day will at least start on a positive note. i would probably try and eat at all my favorite places. these names won't make sense to anyone who hasn't lived in my hometown, but that's okay.

bill's cafe for breakfast- they have cream cheese bagels that they serve with eggs benedict and smoked salmon. goddamn.

india garden for lunch- chicken tikka masala with naan bread, and mango lassi to drink. goddamn.

either between the two meals or just after lunch, i'd head to my parents place and... either apologize for not being who they wanted me to be, or egg their house. depends on how vindictive i am the day of. i have a complicated relationship with them, so...

either way, i know for a fact that i would straight up tell my mom she should have been kinder to me. because she should have been.

then i'd go to meadowlark dairy for ice cream. they have a orange/vanilla swirl that kicks ass.

after that, i'd drive to monterey bay. check out the shops, have some salt water taffy, get to the docks for an early dinner of clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl... my favorite meal. bonus points if i can track down that one restaurant that serves them with strawberry daiquiris.

i'd walk to the beach afterwards, maybe enter into the ocean to feel it for one last time. after that, i'd sit down on the sand and get to work.

i'd go on discord, message all my friends, tell them how i really felt about them. i'd tell them how much i loved them. i'd dedicate as many paragraphs as i could to them as the timer clicked down. i'd probably watch the sunset on the beach if the timing was right. chances are, i'd be crying while doing that last part. if i knew i was dying, i don't think i'd have the courage to look my friends in the eye while i told them emotional things.

when it would be too cold at the beach- anyone who's been there after sunset knows the temperature drops quickly- i'd probably see if i could find somewhere open late that serves hot chocolate. i'd keep walking around til late at night.

after that, i'd find somewhere warm to sit and call my godfather. my godfather is someone who survived cancer twice. he knows a lot about close brushes with death, and there's no one else i'd want at my side while i grieve.

i know under the circumstances, he would stay up with me all night. we would talk about everything, and anything, and nothing at all. maybe he'd keep me company until the sun rises the next day.

after the sun is up, but before 9AM, i'd head back down to the beach with a bottle of strawberry moscato. i'd savor the taste, finish the bottle, and close my eyes. maybe i'd fall asleep so i wouldn't see it coming.

i'd die listening to the waves and feeling the sun on my skin. that'd be a nice way to go out.

#stairs anon

[veratiserum]

(slight trigger warning? nothing explicit uh mentions of me being a bit. um. insane? and not very nice to myself) ok so i'm watching this video on why u could potentially be irritated all the time bcs for the past two months or so i've been like "oh it's just rlly, rllyy bad pms" but i just finished my period like a week ago so it makes no sense?? anyways, the guy in this video is like: u consume too much caffeine, ur burnt out, there's too much load on u, ur a perfectionist, u haven't exercised in months, ur bottling up too many negative emotions, u don't sleep enough, ur always staring at a screen and also u r not normal if u constantly feel this shit and i'm just blinking at my screen, called out, embarrassed and also,,, irritated. i mean honestly, i don't rlly know how to sort myself out. bcs of stupid fucking covid all of my exams were squashed in the time frame of october/november to may/june. i've had four sets of exams; think about it. i started prepping in september, finished my exams end october; had to complete my syllabus AND study in november, give mids in december; study, reconcile, try not to off myself; mocks in february/march and finally, my actual fucking high-school exams from the end of april to mid june. like?? when. when do i have time to be like, "hey, i should work out", any free time i have is invested in curling up into a ball in bed and blocking out the world with fucking rex orange county or watching some stupid netflix show to fill the void. i haven't met up with any of my friends in months; i went to dinner with my cousin yesterday and all i could think about is how fucked i am for my exam in 5 days. my parents and teachers and peers have this fucked up little idea of me in their heads where its like, "oh vera? she gets A*s" and i have to remind everyone that, that was me in middle school and i actually got 2 C's in my mocks bcs i'm a fucking donkey. apparently, i'm just not trying hard enough and i have no drive/desire to make something of myself. i wake up between 4-5 am to talk to my girlfriend and sleep by 11pm - 12am bcs sleeping means i have to wake up tmrrw and repeat the whole fucking process because every day is exactly the same and i'm running out of things to feel happy about. hurrah, it might rain; oh wow my desk looks so nice in the sun today; i love eating the same type of pasta for 2 weeks!! like its been over 6 months and i'm fucking sick of my life. i consume caffeine to feel okay ish for 2 hours before i crash bcs i can't stay awake anymore; i get out of bed and i want to get right back in. the other day i slammed my head across my desk bcs i couldn't memorise my flashcards and it felt like something i probably would never have ever done but hey, i couldn't open my mouth for two days without wincing and it hurt like a bitch. so. there. and all i want is for it to be june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. june 10th. and i can finally. finally. finally what. what will i do when i'm finally free. i'll lie down in the pool and let the underwater charlie brown voices of my parents lull me to sleep because, hey vera, you did a good job. we're fucking proud of you. rest up because you still have college and uni and life. and life. and life. and i might sink a little and let the water fill my nose and my mouth and let it choke me and feel my hair swirl around and wrap itself around my neck and my limbs and feel myself get dragged lower and lower and i'll open my eyes and be trapped in blue, enclosing, suffocating blue forever. right, anywayss, now i'm off to finish a physics practice paper and then stare at myself in the mirror until my eyes stop blurring over. <3

[shslargue]

damn I love my friends...,

#vent tag #but like. vent with a happy ending. why am I tagging this like it's an Ao3 fic #so I think I've gotten out of whatever the hell the past week has been #which is good! I'm feeling much better. which is of course always nice #but last week I was just feeling numb all the time #and now that I'm out of that (for now) I've been feeling SUPER emotional today. and this is partly because I've been looking at old photos #but anyway I'm just. so many emotions are swirling around in my head. #I think I'm the most happy I've ever been. Like #in the long term. #because like... I mean. for the first time I have people who I love. I love them so fucking much #and like... even if they don't feel that same way about me back #I FEEL like they do. and it just... feels nice. It feels really nice. #and now like... I can wake up in the morning and be excited to talk to these people. and have a good time with them. #it's just like... this past year has been really rough with me coming to terms with fact that I grew up considering myself to be subhuman #and so like. having people like this in my life is something I thought I'd never really get to experience #because I associated that with 'being human.' and so I always just kind of believed that kind of stuff would always be out of reach for me. #so the people in my life now... and just the fact that they're there at all #is a dream come true. It's literally unbelievable. I've woken up worrying that everything that's happened was just a pleasant dream #and that they'll be gone or turn out to have not been real #but like... then I talk to them and I'm again struck by the fact that they ARE. I DO have these amazing people in my life. #and I AM a human being. #...and that was hard to type but like it definitely shouldn't be because like. admitting that is literally the bare minimum #but it feels like a step. so. Yay? #idk who the fuck ****** was #but Tina is human.

[dooppooo]

mdni - nsfw content, cheating, oral (f receiving), creampie, themes of emotional neglect, relationship issues, alcohol consumption, written at 3am and barely proofread

Happy birthday Jean - you'll always be the hottest male fictional character I know <3

-

"I'll be back Monday," Connie informed last minute with his hand on your hip and a lazy kiss on your cheek, "Love you bye."

You wanted to protest as he shut and locked the door behind him, but why waste your energy?

It was like this every week. Connie would get 'emergency calls' from his supervisor asking him to come in because they were short staffed. How many men does it take to pave a road or do some masonry work? Half the time you saw them working, there were more men standing around than actually contributing to the project, Connie confirmed this himself. Sure - his work as a mason brought in a decent living, you were both comfortable, but he'd work twelve hour shifts and then run off on the weekends to 'work more.' The rare occasion you did see him, he was on his phone or talking to you about this new chick who was always eating and had a thick country accent.

At this point being devils advocate was out of the question because what was there left to advocate for? A boyfriend who ignored you and worked extra hours just to avoid you? You deserved more than that. Instinctually, you snatched your phone from the counter and texted Jean.

You: This is like the fifth week in a row he's worked the weekend.

Jean: I'd understand one or two...things aren't looking good. I'm sorry.

You: Don't be sorry, if anything thank you for listening to my constant complaining. I know he's your best friend and you probably don't want to hear about how upset he makes me.

Jean: No problem, I'm glad I could be here. I should thank you for always confirming some of my suspicions toward Mikasa.

You: How've things been with you two anyway? Last time we talked you weren't very happy :/

Jean: Honestly, not good, I feel like I can't have a conversation with her without us fighting about Eren. She's doing that thing again where she storms out and disappears for days.

You: I understand how you feel...hopeless.

Jean: You seem to be the only one who understands.

You: Is she home now?

Jean: No, and I don't think she'll be back anytime soon, last time she left she was gone for almost a week

You: I'll be there in 15

It only seemed right for you and Jean to get together and comfort each other. There had been so many nights of you two texting away your problems and bouncing relationship advice off of each other that it was finally time to spend some time together in person. Besides - who would be there to stop you? Not Mikasa. Not Connie.

You arrived with a pizza and some of Jean's favorite whiskey. Once he spotted you with your hands full, he smiled and you saw tears brim his pretty amber eyes making a few of your heart strings snap. He welcomed you in without a second thought and you both plopped on the couch to binge watch some shows and indulge.

"Thank you." He spoke before taking the first sip of his drink, just finishing his last slice of pizza.

You shook your head, "Don't worry about it, I'm sure you would've done the same for me."

"Yeah but..." he swirled the whiskey in its glass, "I don't know. Just thank you. It's nice to know someone cares."

Your gaze found his profile, lit up by the flashing colors on the TV and a faint light from the moon outside, "Of course I care about you. How could I not? I know you won't like me saying this...but Mikasa is taking advantage of one of the sweetest people I've ever met."

"I guess I could say the same about Connie, bastard." He chortled, his expression growing disappointed before throwing back the rest of his drink.

You leaned against the arm of the sofa and let your legs cross over Jean's lap, one of his hands casually resting on your shin. Maybe it was the whiskey, but something was making your cheeks burn and your stomach flutter with the occasional butterfly. More time was spent watching Jean glow in the moonlight than on the show mumbling on the TV. You weren't staring of course - just a friendly check up every so often, you'd be damned to let him quietly cry to himself while you sat next to him.

Or maybe that was an innocent excuse.

Truthfully, it was hard not to stare at Jean. He was a tall, strong man with a charming smile and hair just waiting to be combed by your fingers. Whether you were looking him straight on or from the side, he always had you doing a double take, just to get a second serving of his handsomeness.

It made you wonder: If Mikasa was taking advantage of his looks and tender personality, then what else was she taking advantage of? Jean didn't talk much about their sex life, much like how you didn't mention yours, but surely it couldn't be much different right? You both already had so much in common in terms of relationship struggles that asking about his sex life wouldn't be a stretch.

"How are things in the bedroom?" You blurted out, cutting through the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of you. Certainly you would've approached it more casually if not for the alcohol, but Jean seemed past the point of formalities.

He took the question fairly well, replying with, "Eh, not good not bad. It's nothing exciting though. All I want to do is satisfy her, but she just wants me to hurry up and finish so she can roll over and go to sleep."

"I can see why it's not exciting." You empathized. He rolled the question back to you, "I'm not having fun either. I want Connie to be more intimate with me and try new things, but convincing him to even get in bed with me takes up so much emotional energy that I don't even want to do it anymore."

Jean's arm was over the back of the couch and he faced you, both of your tired and tipsy eyes meeting, "I wish we had other things in common besides how much our partners treat us like shit."

Once again, you were blurting out your thoughts before considering the weight of them, "Well, we both like the same pizza and whiskey, and some how found scummy lovers, I wouldn't be surprised if we had the same kinks."

Jean laughed and let his head loll back against the sofa before agreeing. Another blanket of silence was tossed over you two and the banter on TV resumed, only for Jean to snatch the blanket away.

"There's only one way to find out."

He smirked and watched you from his peripheral vision. Whether you responded with a sarcastic comment or flung yourself at him, he didn't care, he was just enjoying the genuine company.

"Well...for starters my favorite place to fuck is on the bed."

He had to bite back his devious smile. Once he stood, he scooped you up in his arms bridal style and stumbled back into his bedroom, both of you laughing the whole way there. You both fell onto the sheets in a drunk tangle, stomachs exploding with the thrill.

Jean crawled over you, his thigh slotted between yours with a hand on your hip and the rest of his weight being held up by his forearm beside your ear. Your heart was like a grand orchestra, pounding in your chest and ringing in your ears. Even your hands had a small tremor to the them as you felt your way up Jean's torso.

"Do you think this is right?" You whispered.

Jean considered your question, to which he whispered back, "No, but to me it's justified."

"What's the difference?"

His fingers slipped under your shirt and warmed your hip, "How others view it versus how I do," his touch left a hot path as it slithered toward your chest, "To everyone else, this is the worst thing you can do to someone you love. But there's no love between Mikasa and I, so it only seems fair to make love to you instead."

If not for the alcohol, you were sure Jean wouldn't be so poetic and driven by pure emotion, and you wouldn't be so awestruck by his words; you wouldn't even be in the same bed together. Or would you?

Your lips captured his in a whiskey flavored kiss that set your body aflame. The symphony in your chest played louder and with more passion, fueling the desire to find out exactly what Jean labeled justified.

Was justified the way his tongue slipped past your lips and swirled with yours? Or perhaps justified was the way he littered purple marks down your neck and across your collar bone. Did he wonder what justified was to you?

His knee pressed into your heat and stuck your panties to your slick core forcing a gasp from you. A deep chuckle rumbled against your chest as he continued his journey down your body, reaching his first milestone and taking one of the stiffened peaks into his mouth. The feel of his tongue flicking and swirling around your bud made your core clench and a longing sigh sound from you. Annoyed with one side of your chest being exposed, Jean slipped you from your shirt and bra then continued his work with one hand drunkenly massaging while the other was kissed and licked. Below you shamelessly ground yourself against his muscular thigh in an effort to alleviate the hungry ache Connie had never awakened.

"Jean please," we're the only words able to form and work their way past your lips in your haze. Your fists had his shirt clenched tight, hips rocking and chest pressed into his mouth.

His response was to travel lower, his large, rough palms groping at your mounds while he left more purple on your skin. Frustration and eagerness had you squirming and whining impatiently, twisting your fingers in his soft locks and pushing him further down toward your core. Between your legs he flashed you one of his charming smiles that were now laced with lust and pride. Soon your pants were on the floor along with your panties for him to see and access you fully, leaving nothing between him and you.

Jean groaned at the taste of your slick on his tongue, and you groaned with your head pressed into the pillow at the feel of his muscle against your nub. Surely he'd be sharper with his work if done sober, however, he still had your hips mindlessly bucking and nails digging into his scalp. The thin, dark hair on his chin dripped with the elixir made with your essence and his saliva and seemed to only make him more ravenous. Even after your thighs shook and your walls pulsed around his long digits, he didn't pause his ministrations, in fact he multiplied his speed. How hard could you shake because of his tongue and fingers? How many times could he make you sob his name?

Only two more snaps of your searing coil and you were weakly pushing Jean away, now pleading that he'd give you time to breathe and return to Earth. He didn't wait long however, using his few moments to slather himself in your wetness and offer friction to his length that had been straining in his pants. Seeing his size through your shaky, honey coated vision revived your ache for him and the orchestra began to sound again thumping against your ribs. You wriggled toward him and reached for his cock, earning something between a hiss and a moan from him at your eager touch. His torso hovered above yours again, both arms propping him up as to not collapse his weight onto your smaller frame but close enough to where the sweat making your chests and abdomens shine was colliding. With the help of your palm and his hips, he slipped into with ease, him twitching and you throbbing once the base of his length met your hilt.

Jean was far more noisy than Connie, unapologetically moaning into the crook of your neck while you hummed at the satisfaction of being full. Some seconds were spent to allow you both to adjust and familiarize yourselves with the feel of the other, Jean tracing his tongue along your jaw and gathering your lips in a sloppy kiss during this time. There was a sweetness to his kiss now that diluted the potency of the whiskey which was quickly identified as your doing, and had your tongue tasting within his mouth in search of your nectar.

Those same arms that had carried you to this very bed were once more wrapped around you and situating you so you were sheathed onto his lap and his chest slipped against your belly. Your nipples were cared for by Jean's lips and tongue glossed with a mix of spit, sweat, and your wetness, the stimulation settling deliciously in your groin as you rolled your hips. His broad, sturdy shoulders mimicked a head board in that you used them for stability as you rocked yourself against him, letting the tip kiss the sensitive, spongey flesh within you. Hisses, sighs, and moans were all echoing off the walls or preserved for Jean's ears, and more often than not he'd return them.

Then your thighs grew hot and tired, and Jean could feel your exhausted pattern slow until you were huffing and whining at your muscles poor endurance. To remedy this, the gentleman leaned back on his elbows with you still in his lap and planted his feet onto the mattress to thrust up into you from below. Your grip shifted from his shoulders to his chest, then you grew too weak and worked up from your rapidly approaching orgasm to hold yourself, opting to lazily suck and moan into the crook of Jean's neck with your nails carving into his back.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum-" Jean gritted in your ear barely a second before you were releasing onto him as he painted your core white.

Your pelvis developed a mind of its own as it pathetically humped against his cock, milking what you could of your orgasm and draining every last drop from Jean. The man shuddered below you and swore lowly, throat exposed as the rest of his head dipped between his shoulders and his eyes sleepily closed from the intensity of his bliss. Finding it foolish not to, your lips latched onto his skin and left patches of blue and purple on his neck and nipped at his sharp jaw.

Both spent and messy, you collectively separated and took to the shower, snail like in your approach. Your poor, exhausted thighs barely carried you there and your womanhood was sore and sure to hurt tomorrow, but at the expense of Jean moral justification, you deemed it tolerable. Not much was said as you two shared the water and lazily lathered one another up, counting the number of hickeys the other left and sleepily grinning. You helped Jean toss on a set of clean sheets and he even offered you one of his shirts to sleep in, secretly sniffing the fabric when his back was turned and finding yourself a differently level of intoxicated at the musk he left behind. Back in the bed he tucked a pillow beneath your head and snuggled close to you with his glossy eyes crossing paths with yours.

"Maybe next time we can try something new." He commented, voice raspy.

With what little energy you had left you wondered, "Next time?"

"Yeah," he answered as if it were obvious, "If Connie and Mikasa get to have fun on the weekends then we should too."

You lightly giggled, "I think we had a little bit more than fun."

"Fucking, having fun, it's all the same."

You playfully rolled your eyes and nestled into his chest, letting him engulf you in the sheets and his limbs. The idea of spending your weekends with Jean instead of alone sounded lovely, even if it meant that some day Connie or Mikasa would discover it and have your relationships crumbling.

Maybe that was the whole idea: have the rough dynamic with the one who you were to love loyally and the exhilaration of piecing back together your emotions with someone else as neglected as you. No matter the end result, surely you'd return to Jean.

#aot smut #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirstein #jean smut #jean kirstein smut #jean kirschtein smut #attack on titan smut #attack on titan

[hurting-fictional-people]

Post self sacrifice and mind reader 👀👀👀👀

okay so the idea behind Post self sacrifice is to see the moment whumpee gets to wherever whumper is taking them right after sacrificing themself. I always focus on the moment of the sacrifice or the aftermath with the caretaker, but almost never the immediate aftermath with whumper...

so:

“Wait,” Whumpee gasps, heels digging into cold marble flooring.

Whumper turns around, raised eyebrows over glinting eyes focused on them. Their arms cross slowly as they smirk. “Having second thoughts already?”

Yes.

Whumpee swallows and darts their eyes around the room – small and almost bare, smelling of disinfectant and dread.

“Can I just… call Caretaker? Tell them what happened?”

“You knew what you were agreeing to when you came with me, Whumpee,” Whumper sighs. “I don’t want to hear Caretaker’s name from your lips again, and that’s your first rule.”

-

and mind reader!! oh that's a fun one, but I'm still trying to make it work... it's about a whumpee who can read minds, but they lose control and start getting really overwhelmed with all the thoughts and emotions from everyone around them... the thing is: whumper also has powers, and theirs is to stifle other people's magic. and whumpee is getting to the point of wishing for any kind of help, as long as it makes their own powers stop :)

snippet:

I should get a bullet journal, maybe then I’ll get my life together.

What if I just start screaming, what would everybody do? Oh my gosh, shut up I didn’t mean it. But what if–

Why hasn’t she called yet? Shit, I shouldn’t have added that heart emoji now she’ll think I’m a freak.

Whumpee grits their teeth, and though their head pounds and their legs shake with each step they take, they refuse to stop. Gripping Caretaker’s arm, they keep going, spine straight and a smile on their lips that shows nothing of the wild thoughts and emotions racing through them, passing by and through, too many to sort out.

Hm, that guy looks kinda cute. Should I say hi? Oh shit, can’t believe I didn’t see the girlfriend, awkward awkward awkward.

“…okay?”

Whumpee’s eyes snap up at Caretaker, smile frozen in place, and they nod.

“Yeah. I just… just need to keep moving.” Whumpee shrugs, as if their skin doesn’t crawl at the images and voices and feelings, all swirling around them, quietly sneaking into their head no matter how hard they try to keep it all out.

“You look pale,” Caretaker says in a worried whisper, walking faster and taking Whumpee with them, bumping against people as they go.

Asshole, watch where you go.

I am woman, I am fearless, I am sexy, I’m divine–

“Too many people,” Whumpee grits out.

“Focus on me,” Caretaker instructs. “Breathe in with me. Yes, just like that. Now out. Again.”

It doesn’t help – nothing ever does when they lose control like this – but Whumpee follows Caretaker’s directions anyway.

#i'm very excited about the mind reader one #really like that idea #cuz i always thought that if you can read minds you must also be able to feel emotions and see the images people are thinking #because people don't think the same way!! some people don't think in words only feelings (well that's what i've read at least) #so a mind reader has to be able to sense all that to be able to read everyone's minds #and it must be so overhwelming #anyway #let's see if i'll actually post it or if it'll go to the pile of things i'm just promising to finish writing and still haven't :') #self sacrifice #overwhelmed #creepy whumper

[chibiwritesstuff]

Hey! I'm the one that asked for the Lilia and Malleus ask. I love what you wrote so much man! (My poor heart died 😂) I am a big sucker for happy endings tho. So when you get the time can I ask for a happy ending ?

Ha, my laptop thought they won against me but I came out victorious (even though I took literal months to publish this.) In my defense, all the versions I’ve written for this didn't suit my tastes (not that this is any good either.) Hope this makes justice for such a long wait. Here’s the sequel/good ending for the angst fic.

Now, let’s enter this twisted wonderland~

Walking past the now dying garden that used to flourish in Ramshackle dorm, he sighed as he reminisces about the times you two stroll and spends time together. It's been years since you’ve left NRC, He and Lilia are about to graduate tomorrow, Silver will be a fourth-year student and the new vice-dorm leader while Sebek will be in his third year and the dorm leader much to the said fae’s surprise. He chuckled at the memory of how honored and tearful the young fae is upon being selected as its prefect.

“I have so much to tell you, (y/n).” He whispered at the wind.

“Hey, Tsunotarou!” The familiar voice of the tanuki cat being called that long-forgotten name.

“Hey, Tsunotarou! Are we going on a walk again tonight?” You smiled at him, your hand extended as an invitation.

“Grimm, wasn’t it?” He crouched down to pet the said creature.

“Hey! I’m not a pet!” The flames on his ears flared, responding to his emotions. “What are you doing here, anyway? The roses are all dead.”

A wave of sadness flashed in his eyes as another memory resurfaced. Returning his gaze towards the dead flowerbed, he let the memory linger.

“Thanks for the seeds, Tsunotarou!” You excitedly began digging and planting said seeds. “To commemorate our friendship, these roses will be our friendship roses!”

“Yes, they are…” His hand ceased from moving before sitting down the ground. “It’s all gone…”

“By the way, I never managed to get the courage to ask you but why did (y/n) went back home crying that time?”

“I was but a foolish man…” The young heir steered his gaze towards the night sky before closing his eyes. “Had I just enjoyed the present than worry about the future, perhaps they would still be here and smile brightly like they always had.”

“I’m sure if you say sorry, they’ll forgive you.” Grimm responded nonchalantly. “They said saying sorry is the first step to forgiveness… or something like that.”

He chuckled and stood up heading towards his dorm. “If things were only that easy…”

That night, he slept and dreamt about you two walking in the bed of roses you’ve grown at Ramshackle. Loving every single moment that you two get to spend subconsciously knowing that once he wakes up, he’ll return to the harsh reality of you not being by his side.

“Tsunotaro, I think I have fallen for you.” You quietly said warmth spreading across your cheeks. “Will you let me stay by your side till the last breath I take?”

This is all but a dream… so I can keep dreaming, right?

“Yes, only if you’ll let me do the same.”

“Really?!” Joy showed throughout your being which made him smile back. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow! Happy graduation!”

He woke up gasping for air. That dream sounded too good to be true and yet… he can’t help but be hopeful. Putting on a happy face, he got dressed on what Lilia laid out for him and this time, everybody remembered to tell him the time of the celebration. He can’t help but laugh just thinking what your reaction would have been about the changes of the students' behavior towards him after he tried to socialize better. Heading towards the stage getting his diploma as odd as it is, he acted formally as he mingled with the rest of the dorm leaders until a voice echoed throughout the area.

“Tsunotarou!” Receiving a hug from the back as the voice caught him off guard, he turned still not believing what he’s seeing. “Congrats on graduating!”

“(y/n)?” His voice faltered, overwhelmed with so many emotions. “How? Why? I –”

“Uh-oh… Lilia! Your king here is having an information overload!” You called which made the said fae laugh out loud.

“How are you here?” He finally managed to ask. “The mirror –”

“Ah, that would be my doing…” Idia whispered but managed to catch everyone’s attention. “It was an accident! I was messing around to make a teleporter so I can just teleport to the store than having to leave the dorm but it ended up making people travel through dreams then I managed to talk to (y/n). Then we both decided we might as well try to make travel here and back to their world possible.”

“Looks like you did meet me once upon a dream, yeah?” You grinned at the joke about his ancestor’s song.

He merely hugged you, savoring each second of being around your arms. “I don’t have anything ready but if you’ll give me a second chance…”

He lets go and kneeled on one knee before looking up to you once more. “Will you be my spouse till the day you draw your last breath?”

Time is but a blink of an eye for fae and before he knew it, the Star Sending is happening once again. He was happy when Silver and Sebek were chosen to be Star Gazers albeit the mentioned students aren’t. He strummed his electric guitar with no particular music in mind as he lets his mind wander until his gaze dropped on a familiar mug.

“Happy Birthday, Lilia!” You grinned as you handed him a mug that said “No. 1 Gamer Dad” on it. “Hope you like it!”

His lips curled into a faint smile as he remembered that day. It's been a year since you left and yet it felt like it was just yesterday. Letting go of the instrument, he walked towards the mug and lifted it intending to fill it with tomato juice.

“How have you been, little one?” He spoke towards the image of you in his head. “I hope life is treating you better in your world.”

Without me in it… he sighed as sadness filled his chest. If I could change the past, or at least be given another chance… will you give your love to me once more?

“Old m –” Silver cleared his throat before entering. “I mean, Lilia. I’m here to take your wish.”

He took a deep breath before putting a huge smile to face his son. “Ah, yes of course! You know my wish. I wish for both –”

“Stop.”

This surprised the old fae as his son never raised his voice on him. “We both know that that’s not your true wish.”

“Silver, do humor me and just let me finish my wish.” He pouted, swirling the tomato juice in the mug before drinking it.

“Father, we all know how much you love them.” The young knight sighed before taking a seat on a nearby chair. “You always gush about them whenever we eat or do anything.”

“Oh Silver, I appreciate the concern but sometimes you got to let go.” A forlorn smile graced his lips.

“And sometimes you have to be selfish!” Both of them looked surprised at his outburst yet Silver regained his composure and continued. “You love them, right?! Then why not be with them? You took me in out of love, right?”

“There’s a big difference here, Silver.” Lilia rubbed his temple as stress starts to build up.

“What’s the difference? We’re both humans with a short lifespan so you can't use that as an excuse!” His silver eyes narrowing as he gazed upon his father before widening. “You’re afraid, aren’t you?”

He let out a defeated chuckle before nodding. “You’ve grown so much, Silver. I’m so proud of you, you know?”

“Why? You could have been happily living with them.”

“Because I’m afraid to witness her death if we ever do start a family together.” At last, the older fae began letting his tears fall in front of his son. “I don’t think I’ll be able to survive seeing her pass while I still live on. I want it to last for all eternity but to remove her mortality is too inhumane.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Silver lowered his head, having a little understanding of what he meant. “I didn’t mean to –”

“So, for my wish this Star Sending…” After a pathetic attempt to control his tears, he gulped and continued. “I want to be given another chance to be with them… and this time, I’ll bear the pain of losing them when the time comes.”

A shine of light filled the wishing star confirmed his wish inside the item. Silver walked towards him and let the man cry his heart out in his arms. He both felt sad and honored that Lilia is willing to cry in front of him. He truly hopes that his father’s wish is granted. Bringing out the wishing star, he proclaimed his wish.

“I wish (y/n) can return in twisted wonderland once more.”

“Silver, you didn’t have to waste your wish for this…”

“I don’t mind having a parent like them.” He smiled before heading towards the door with both wishing stars at hand. “They’re a much better cook than you anyway.”

“Hey!”

The day of Star Sending has arrived and everybody is once again by the huge tree behind NRC. It went well without a hitch and Lilia’s phone filled with recordings of Sebek and Silver dancing in perfect sync towards the taiko being played by Jack of Savanaclaw. As all students began returning to their dorms, the bat fae decided to stay a little longer and was given privacy by the rest of the Diasomnia students.

“Catch me, Lilia!” A voice screamed from above.

Turning his attention to the voice’s origin. His eyes widened before extending his arms ready to catch the person. A huge smile on his face as you landed safely into his arms. You let out a sigh of relief as you steadied yourself in his hold.

“Do not question why I was up in the air.” You huffed, glaring at the sky. “Safe landing my ass! I was dropped off 50ft up in the air!”

“My oh my, did you fall in love with me all over again?” He teased as he covertly wiped his tears.

“I saw that and maybe but I would still prefer a much safer landing.” You huffed before smiling at him. “What happened to the ‘I wish for world peace between all creatures’ wish, huh?”

“How did you know?”

“My coworker and I were trying to make a portal to get me back here because I forgot some stuff here to grab and funnily enough those wishing stars became our fuel source to open that portal.” You pulled out your phone and confirmed your arrival with a whole long spiel on how the landing would have killed you if you weren’t caught by Lilia. “But by your wish I assume there’s no need for me to get packing away from here?”

“Yes, if you’ll give me another chance.” He held out his hand, a makeshift flower ring on his palm. “Will you give me the honor of being your significant other?”

#twisted wonderland #Lilia Vanrouge #lilia x reader #twisted wonderland lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst lilia #twst lilia x reader #malleus draconia #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #twst malleus #twst malleus draconia #twst malleus x reader #i'm alive #good ending #boi this took forever #dont expect this to be good though #I'm shit at writing #especially fluff/good ending ones

[ginkgomoon]

Lucien's Iridescent- Analysis

Finally, some more Lucien-based content! I'm so sorry for the wait, Lucien stans! If you’re out there please let me know so I can say hello to you individually and ask questions about your fav!! I want to interact with the community more so I can expand my knowledge and perception on the different characters and aspects of the game. I’d honestly love to have a chat about MLQC anytime! I didn’t expect to be posting this today because this is one is a freshie! (Started working on it today, and posted up today, unlike the other hundred that I have drafted...) Lots of spoilers for the character of Lucien and for future content. Please do not read if you don’t want spoilers! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!! 🌈 💜

Iridescent definition-

“Showing luminous colours that seem to change when seen from different angles.”

Origins

The pen is originally brought over from England, where Lucien was studying when he was younger. It actually belonged to a Granny before Lucien, and she told him, "give this luck to the special someone when you meet her."

Lucien didn't really care for the pen that much other than that, though.

"Although I had always felt that he was not gentle with me, this time I knew he did care for me. My joy didn't last for more than ten seconds, when my owner took me back and gave me a faint glance, and then gave his full attention the girl."

Also, it's tiny bit ironic about how Lucien can't see colour and names the pen "Iridescent".

"A rainbow! It's my favourite scene- that's where my name came from. But my owner can't see the rainbow. he doesn't know how to appreciate these colours." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

Iridescent and MC

“This is for you."

A silvery- white steel pen glinted in the sunlight with an "X" etched prominently into its surface. (The "X" refers to his Chinese name, "Xu mo")

MC: "Isn't this the pen you left in the set the first time you were on the show?"

"Yes, at the time I rushed back to the set. Everyone had left but one girl was still foolishly sitting there, just to give me this pen. For the first time I thought, compared to my own actions of running back there, she didn't seem that foolish at all."

His lips curved up in a smile, and his eyes softened.

"It wasn't foolish. I was slower than you, but afterwards, I saw."

I didn't understand what he meant. I tilted my head and looked at Lucien. His eyes were streaked with shadow and light by the sunshine.

MC: "Why are you giving me the pen?"

"The pen has a name. It's called Iridescent. It's a lucky charm that's been with me for many years. Now, this luck belongs to you."

Lucien opened my hand and placed the pen in it, then closed my hand back over it with an assertive force.

"It's just a pen. Take it."

Lucien turned his head and looked at me, the sunlight glistening on his lips, clear and warm. -Chapter 13-10

Lucien gave a lot of thought into giving MC the pen.

"He had been staring at me for so long his gaze almost penetrated me! My owner had always been very decisive and unwavering, but this time, I could feel his hesitation. What was it for?"

But why?

"At the moment I was a little dizzy, and thought, am I now a "love token"?" -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

I would argue multiple reasons actually. Firstly, as Iridescent itself stated, it was used as a "love exchange"- a silent confession that he loves her. He uses this pen for his work, and since this "work" was focused on the QUEEN and BLACK SWAN, it was almost like a declaration that what Lucien had owned- what Ares will soon gain, that no matter what, both personas would be by her side.

He knows that she's always in danger, from others and from himself, so he silently hopes that this pen in becoming that "lucky charm" would also help her so that she wouldn't really get caught and tied up in BLACK SWAN business.

It serves as a reminder for himself too, that a part of him will always be kept close to her. And like how its name is Iridescent, that aspect of him that can see colour is being surrendered back to her, because only with MC, can Lucien finally witness colours of the rainbow.

But of course, like all rainbows, they don't last forever, and MC uses this pen- in the name of colour- his weaknesses and the symbolism and connection of their relationship- against him.

MC: “Why?”

“I warned you before. You still had time to run too bad, you had no awareness of danger. Or one could say, you trusted me too much.”

He spoke in a tone that was provocative and mocking.

With ease, he ripped open a scar that hadn’t fully healed, and my tears came pouring out.

I don’t know why, but in that instant, I seemed to see a flash of sorrow in his eyes. But in less than half a second, he had resumed his composure. Then he pursed his lips and made a faint smile.

Thick blackness surrounded him. Even the brightest of setting suns couldn’t reach him.

But I still hoped that the hint of sorrow I caught was real. I hoped that he was still the way he used to pretend to be. But then why did his eyes seem so sincere?

Even now, I wasn’t willing to completely believe. My heart told me that it wasn’t lies.

Helping me save my final show was real. Rescuing me from danger was real. Every bit of encouragement and help was all real.

If all of that was real, how could the person in front of me now be fake?

I strained to find in his eyes any sign of pain, struggle, even a moment’s hesitation. But there was none.

There was nothing at all. We were like two strangers.

“Ares, what are you waiting for?”

I don’t know where my strength came from, but in an instant, I held something sharp to my neck. I tremblingly held the pen, sensing the bitter taste in my throat.

Seeing my action, everyone froze.

How ironic! He clearly gave it to me as a gift, and now it was carrying out its mission like this.

“You won’t do it.”

My neck was in terrible pain, and half my body was going numb.

I didn’t even realise that a trickle of blood was streaming down my neck. We stood there, neither of us was moving.

“Don’t do anything foolish.”

You’re right, I am too foolish. When I was at my lowest, he held out a hand of friendship to me and I took it in with full trust.

And now here he was again, saying that same voice I was so familiar with, that was all a trap.

He stood there, aloof and cold, with all those emotions swirling in his eyes that I never understood before. Now I final understand. It was the thrill of laying a trap and the joy of watching your prey take the bait.

MC: “Let me go.”

“You think you can negotiate with me?”

MC: “You still owe me a thank you gift.”

A tear rolled down my face silently. (This line killed me.)

He smiled mockingly.

“I can let you go, but next time, you won’t get such an opportunity. Don’t let me catch you next time.” (In other words he means, "pen you did well, now she can escape.")

MC: “Next time I won’t trust you, Ares. I will never trust you again. Because you aren’t Lucien. He would never harm me. They have nothing to do with each other!”

He turned but said nothing. That was the last time I saw a gentle look in his eye. Then he looked up at the sky as his whole body emerged into the shadows, and he continued onwards.

The pen fell from my hand onto the ground. The “X” etched onto it gleaming, seemingly telling me a story. -Chapter 13-19

"I saw the pain in my owners eyes and felt the trembling of the girl's right hand passing through me... grasping me as she left, she could not control her shaking body. She seemed to be holding onto me with all her strength, as if I was her only support.

I was accidentally dropped to the ground and rolling into the dust. but the girl didn't seem to notice, as she was in a trance looking up at the kites in the sky. But the girl crouched down to pick me up and gently wiped the dust off of me. Everyday at nightfall, I knew how much pain she endured and how much she cried in her sleep. I thought she would abandon me, but she did not... -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

n a way, it's also a silent promise, or a reason for him to keep returning to her. The tie that she always clutches secretly in her pocket that she, too, still cares for him and still thinks of him. MC still evens put the effort in the take care of Iridescent, making sure it doesn't get lost or broken. This is similar to how the ginkgo bracelet is a form of support from Gavin to MC.

As I put away my camera, I again reflexively felt around inside-

MC: “Oh no!”

A ball of sweat fell from my forehead. Where was that pen!?

A single possibility suddenly presented itself to me- but another thought immediately supplanted it-

MC: “It’s his anyway. The staff will give it back to him…”

Having confidently convinced myself with that reasoning, I left.

See how they're back to how they were from the beginning- where she was starting to get to know “Lucien”, but now she’s starting to view him as “Ares”. The two personas correlating to this one pen.

I banged my head on the table. I clutched my head in pain, and the metal pen rolled away, stopping before a pair of black shoes. Then I saw a slender hand daintily pick it up.

“You came back to find this?”

He looked at me with a playful look on his face. He raised his eyebrows and held the pen in front.

“Don’t lose it again.”

I reached out for it, but that sunny late spring day suddenly flashed before my eyes, and I started to regain my posture. Maybe I shouldn’t have come back for it.

MC: “Never mind, I’m always losing things. And it doesn’t belong to me anyway. At this point, it should go back to its original owner.”

He slowly and deliberately put the pen away, then gave as light nod. -Chapter 16-11

"With determination, the girl gave me back to my owner. The moment he took me, the last thread linking them together seemed to have broken. My owner withdraw his gaze from her and after a long time he said softly, "my little fool". The words sounded unfinished, with untold tenderness hidden behind them. But in my opinion, should the fool refer to my intelligent owner himself?

I couldn't help but think, did my owner lose his colours? Or will he find them again, someday? Because, those who have seen the rich colours of the rainbow, would not be reconciled with grey again." -Rainbow Luck Rumours and Secrets

But in the end, the pen was returned back to MC.

Lucien carefully took out the pen from his pocket and placed it in the girl's hand. The he leaned over and whispered into her ear-

"Next time, don't rush into danger by yourself. Especially on my account." -Chapter 16-22

Like how Lucien would always come back to her- Ares or not, because those are his true colours- that Lucien, like how he’s also “iridescent”, would show all sides of him to her, and that he would love MC no matter which side he's on.

#I CAN EAT DINNER NOW #literally typed out the whole of chapter 13 #proud of myself #恋与制作人 #love and producer #mlqc #mr love queens choice #mlqc translation #mlqc analysis #mlqc cn #mlqc en #mlqc Lucien #mlqc xumo #xu mo #Lucien #mlqc spoilers

[swiftl0ck]

taylor swift x characters

john and sherlock x peace

bbc sherlock

folklore - taylor swift

i think this song works so perfectly for john and sherlock, the beautiful relationship they have and how they fit together like puzzle pieces, they are truly the best team and totally lost without each other.

Our coming-of-age has come and gone Suddenly the summer, it's clear

sherlock and john meet at a time in their lives where they have grown up. they have lived separate lives and have both assumed that they are fine on their own. then 'summer comes', they meet and it becomes clear that they have more growing up to do, they push each other to change and be better.

I never had the courage of my convictions As long as danger is near

this line is john speaking, sherlock has never had a lack of courage in his convictions, he speaks his mind and john respects him for it. john has been away from civilian life for some time, he has less experience in standing up for his values when it really counts, but sherlock pushes him to.

And it's just around the corner, darling 'Cause it lives in me

sherlock thinks he is dangerous, he believes he is unfeeling and logical and he hurts people when he is trying to help. he has been told this so much he accepts it as truth. sherlock thinks he is inherently dangerous to know, because, despite his deep understanding of how humans work, he doesn't know where he fits into that. he keeps causing people pain when he doesn't mean to, so he warns them against him.

no, I could never give you peace

this is the truly beautiful message of the song. sherlock needs danger, he thrives off cases and mystery, without it he loses the will to live and spirals. John loves to investigate with him, this has been made clear as he comes back to work alongside sherlock time and time again, however, he does not NEED it as sherlock does. in the chorus, it truly shows how sherlock is telling john that a life with him, can never be peaceful.

but I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

what better metaphor to describe sherlock holmes than a fire. he blazes around london, bright and powerful, once set off there is little point controlling him but he channels his energy towards burning out all evil he can find. john is struggling until he meets sherlock holmes, the fire to make him feel alive again and warm his brittle heart, toughened by years in a war.

if your cascade ocean wave blues come

all these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret

sherlock ruined his whole reputation, died a fraud and a traitor, to save john, lestrade and mrs hudson. the man who once scoffed at the weaknesses of human emotion finally understands how powerful it is and truly dies for them in secret.

the devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

the devil really is in the details for sherlock holmes. his head runs round with theories and deductions and observations. "it's always you john watson, you keep me right". with the swirling mess inside his head, it's watson's constant presence that keeps him from losing his sanity to the devil of unending thought.

your integrity makes me seem small

despite his intelligence and incredible abilities, sherlock often loses sight of what matters to normal people. i believe there is no time that sherlock feels smaller than when john is yelling at him for being unfeeling. especially as sherlock often does not know what he has done wrong, he feels superior to john in every way apart from emotions. in that he feels inferior.

you paint dreamscapes on the wall

a dreamscape is "a landscape or scene with the characteristic of dreams". both sherlock and john have dreams of what life could be like, but, as the show goes on, they each become happier with their reality, raising rosie in 221b, even if it isn't perfect.

however, the dreamscapes could also be about sherlock's mind palace, because what better way to describe a mind palace than a dreamscape of information.

I talk shit with my friends it's like I'm wasting your honour

john perpetuates his friends' general opinion that sherlock is cold and has no feelings when he knows that isn't true. he makes jokes at sherlock's expense when it is clear that sherlock is not emotionless, he just doesn't show emotions in the same way.

and you know that I'd swing with you for the fences sit with you in the trenches.

sherlock and john are with each other in the highs and lows in life, when they solve cases and save lives or when they lose the ones they love most. they may drift apart but they will always come back to each other. the wartime imagery of trenches could also reference john's army history.

give you my wild, give you a child

this line is so perfect, in the last scenes of the final problem, john and sherlock are seen raising rosie together. she may not be sherlock's child but john is entrusting him with her care as they raise her together. i think this is a really beautiful conclusion to their story, especially because of how much john struggles to trust sherlock after the six thatchers. it clearly depicts that the trust there is stronger than ever as john allows sherlock to be such a big part of rosie's life.

give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other

the understanding between john and sherlock is unmatched. the amount of communication that goes unsaid throughout the whole show is so intricate and detailed and yet they both understand the other one very clearly. a level of connection that allows them to be so incredible at what they do.

family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother

Is it enough? But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west

sherlock and john can never relax, they have made too many enemies over the years, there are people everywhere who are angry at them and nothing can change that. but they don't let that come between them, they fight their robbers and clowns together.

I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

sherlock wants to be his best self for john, so many times we see him trying to change something in his life when john asks him to. sherlock truly values his opinions. however, sherlock also always attempts to only show john and those around him his 'sunshine', he struggles to be vulnerable and open with others.

but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me

john and sherlock both know that life would be easier for john if he didn't stand with sherlock, but he does anyway, and I think that is such a powerful thing.

Thank you so much for reading!

written by iona

listen to peace here:

#bbc sherlock #sherlock #sherlock holmes #john watson #jim moriarty #benedict cumberbatch #martin freeman #mycroft holmes #johnlock #taylor swift #peace

[mydogisveryadorbs]

blue ain't your color | jj maybank

masterlist

summary: song fic based on blue ain’t your color by keith urban.

warnings: mentions of mentally and physically abusive relationships, underage drinking, mentions of drugs, angst, fluff, v soft jj

PSA: this is not in any way meant to idealize or romanticize abusive relationships. if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please get help. below are some resources and learning tools. 

National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone] – 7233

Love is Respect – National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: [phone] – 9474

more hot lines and info: https://victimconnect.org/resources/national-hotlines/

learn more: https://www.thehotline.org/psa/

lyrics in bold

3.8k+ words

✰⋆✰⋆✰⋆✰

I can see you over there

Starring at your drink

Watchin' that ice sink

All alone tonight

You look down at your drink, moving the straw in a circular motion causing the ice to swirl around creating a small tornado.

Glancing at the time on your phone, you realize you've been waiting here for almost two hours. 

Your boyfriend was supposed to meet you at Topper’s party at 9. In the first thirty minutes, you weren't surprised. Liam, your kook boyfriend of 10 months, was late for almost everything, so this didn't come as a shock to you. 

When the one hour mark hit you were honestly quite worried. What if he was in an accident? What if he got jumped? Maybe your thoughts were most likely irrational, but you couldn't help but worry about your boyfriend.

One hour later, you had gotten past the worrying stage. Now you were simply angry, no, furious at him. Had he stood you up? Did he forget about you? These thoughts were definitely more rational. It wouldn't be the first time Liam stood you up, but you would make sure it was the last. 

At the beginning of your relationship, everything had been sunshine and butterflies. About two months in, however, he asked you to stop seeing your friends.

You see you were a born and raised pogue. Your dad was a close friend of Big John so you had practically grown up with John B, JJ, and Pope, in more recent years becoming close friends with Kiara.

At first, it was little things. Liam would get upset if you left to hang out with the pogues instead of him. Then one day, he asked you to stop seeing them all together. You, of course, retaliated, telling him that you would never leave your friends. But Liam had a way with words, and not a good way. He told you for months that your friends would never love you and that you were lucky that he had even taken pity on you. Slowly, you started to believe him. You stopped seeing the pogues, pushing everyone who truly loved you out of your life.

Liam became more and more distant as the months went on. He would leave you almost every night to drink and party, not even bothering to let you know where he was headed. The two of you had been fighting nonstop for several weeks. It had gotten physical only a few times and the next morning he would apologize profusely, so you stayed.

Seeing him walk in with two girls wrapped around his waist, nearly two and a half hours late, was the last straw for you.

Grabbing your purse, you walked up to Liam, who's eyes widened with the realization the moment he saw you.

“Fuck, (Y/N),” he says, slightly slurring his words as his arms still holding the two skinny blondes at his sides, “It's not what it looks like.” You can see his red-rimmed eyes and dilated pupils, telling you that he was coked out. 

You roll your eyes, knowing that this was it for you. “Really, Liam,” you snap back, “‘Cause it looks like we are done here.”

Liam’s eyes widen in shock, never having seen you lash out like this before. He shakes it off and his expression quickly contorts into one of disgust. “Okay,” he says with a shrug, “Good luck finding someone else to take pity on a whore like you, dirty pogue.” He walks away with the two girls, leaving you in shock.

It takes a moment for you to realize that you had just ended this almost one-year relationship. 

The first emotion you feel is one of freedom and relief. No more would you have to be held down by this weight of not being able to do and say what you want.

That feeling slowly dissipates as the feeling of dread starts to overcome it. You had pushed away all of your friends for this boy who had let you go like you were nothing to him. Maybe you were nothing.

You walk back to the bar area, grabbing another drink, feeling the need to drown away your sorrows.

And chances are

You're sittin' here in this bar

'Cause he ain't gonna treat you right

JJ Maybank hated kook parties with a passion.

Thankfully he hadn't had the opportunity to attend too many of them in his lifetime. But now that John B was macking on Sarah Cameron, it wasn't uncommon for the blonde boy to get dragged along to one of these events.

John B had left JJ to fend for himself as soon as they had arrived at the party, slipping off somewhere to find Sarah. JJ looked around the extravagant home that belonged to one of his enemies, Topper Thornton. His ring clad fingers fiddled with an expensive-looking vase, trying to find the perfect moment to snag it and slip away.

JJ’s eyes filtered through the crowd when they landed on something, or rather someone, that he had least expected to see.

His hand slipped from the vase, letting his gaze drink you in. You definitely looked different. Your once long hair was now cut just below your shoulders and your typical style of denim shorts and a cropped shirt was exchanged for a lavish-looking dress and sparkly stilettos.

JJ admits that he probably wouldn't have recognized you if he hadn't spent so many years unable to take his eyes off of you whenever the pogues were together.

The boy had loved his life long best friend since the day she clocked a boy in the face for making fun of JJ’s worn-out clothes. They were seven. In addition to being the day JJ had met (Y/N) and John B, it was also the day he fell in love with the (Y/E/C) eyed girl.

When you started dating your kook boyfriend at the beginning of your junior year, JJ was initially devastated. He soon brought himself to realize, however, that a lowlife like him would never be able to deserve someone as beautiful and kind-hearted as you. His thoughts were confirmed when you abruptly stopped hanging around the pogues and him. You were too good for him. The blonde boy had no idea of the pain that Liam had caused you in the past ten months.

Now looking at you, JJ could see that you were upset. He had gotten really good at analyzing your body language over the many years of being your best friend.

All thoughts of stealing the vase flew out of his mind as his feet started in your direction.

Well, it's probably not my place

But I'm gonna say it anyway

'Cause you look like

You haven't felt the fire

Had a little fun

Hadn't had a smile in a little while

You felt a figure move to sit in the bar stool chair next to you, but you choose to ignore whoever it is, not particularly feeling up to socializing with a contemptuous kook after what you just went through.

The figure didn't move after a few minutes so you turn to look at them with a glare in your eyes, ready to snap at them and ask them to leave you alone. Your gaze immediately softens as you realize the person next to you is in fact the last person you would ever expect to see at a party like this, JJ Maybank.

Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you continue to stare at the side profile of the blonde boy who hasn't yet turned to face you. 

Everything you had done so well to hide over the last ten years of knowing and loving him comes rushing back. Your love for the boy next to you consumes every fiber of your being. 

A lone tear falls down your cheek as you begin to curse yourself and Liam. How did I let him control me into giving this up? This feeling?

Blue looks good on the sky

Looks good on that neon buzzin' on the wall

But darling, it don't match your eyes

JJ finally turns his head to look at you and feels his entire resolve crumble. You were crying. The sight nearly breaks his heart in two.

His eyes lock with yours and he can see the pain and heartache swirling within them.

“What did he do to you,” JJ mutters, letting his eyes roam the crowd for the boy he despises most in the world. Almost a year of suppressed anger starts to bubble up to the surface.

“JJ,” you whimper.

The sadness and hopelessness in your voice makes every ounce of anger in him evaporate as he turns his head to look at you again. The look in your eyes tells him that the kook boy had hurt you worse than he ever knew.

JJ wants nothing more than to pull you into his arms and never let anything else in the world harm you. His hands itch to wipe the tears off your face and pull your head to his chest.

However, JJ also wants you to be as comfortable as possible and he's not sure if you're ready for the amount of love he has to give you just yet.

You surprise the blonde boy by reaching out to your arms out to him. The blonde wastes no time in standing up and pulling your body flush to his chest.

Everyone else in the world disappears as the two of you clutch each other with all you have. Both of you realize how much you had missed the comfort of each other's embrace. 

You're not sure how long you stand there like that, face nuzzled into JJ’s shoulder as the boy strokes your hair comfortingly.

“I'm sorry,” you mumble into his shirt, not willing to pull away from the warmth he radiates.

JJ’s eyebrows draw together in confusion as he pulls away enough to look down at you. “What do you mean,” he asks with a softness in his voice that is reserved for you only, gently lifting your chin so that you are looking into his beautiful cerulean eyes.

You sniffle. “I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for breaking down in front of you. I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess. But most of all, I'm sorry for ever believing that I could live without you. I-I mean if it weren't for you I don't know what I would do. I understand if you don't want to talk to-” your ramble is suddenly cut off by JJ pressing his lips to yours.

The boy knows that this is probably not the best time to confess his feelings towards you, but he can't watch you talk down about yourself like that anymore. Do you not know how much he adores you? 

The kiss is soft and passionate. JJ can taste your salty tears on his slightly chapped lips as they work against yours. Both of you poor every ounce of emotion you have into the kiss. 

JJ reluctantly pulls away when the two of you run out of air, placing his forehead delicately on yours as your arms wrap around his neck.

I'm tellin' you

You don't need that guy

It's so black and white

He's stealin' your thunder

Baby, blue ain't your color

Both of you pant as you look into each other's eyes. “I've wanted to do that for so long,” JJ says, as the smile you cherish so much graces his features.

“Really?” you ask and JJ can hear the vulnerability in your voice. What did that shithead do to you to make you so insecure?

“You have no idea, baby,” he says, tenderly kissing away the tear that has slipped out of your eye and onto your cheek.

Not having the words to express how you feel about the boy in front of you, you pull his head back down, kissing him so sweetly that it makes his knees buckle.

“JJ,” you whisper as you pull away, but you never get to finish your statement because you are suddenly ripped out of his embrace.

“You fucking whore,” Liam seethes at you taking a stride towards you and you instinctively take a step back. “You break up with me and two minutes later you've moved onto another guy. Slut.” His words cut you deep and you know by the tone of his voice that a punch to the gut or a slap to the face is coming. Liam raises his hand and you brace yourself for impact, but it never comes.

The sound of yelling fills your senses and you open your eyes to see JJ punching Liam in the face repeatedly. You are frozen as you watch the scene in front of you.

“JJ,” you hear John B yell, turning to look at him, “You're gonna kill him.”

Your eyes widen in realization at his words and you take a step forward.

“JJ,” you call, but your voice is drowned out by the sound of everyone yelling around you. You clear your throat and try again, louder. “JJ.”

This time JJ stops mid punch, turning to look at you. Fear fills your body when you see that his wide, normally baby blue eyes are nearly black.

His gaze softens as he takes in your anxious look.

JJ steps away from the beat-up boy and you see a few of his friends pull Liam’s limp body away. You lock your eyes back to JJ’s and he takes a careful step towards you causing you to involuntarily flinch back slightly.

I'm not tryna

Be another just

Pick you up

Kinda guy

Tryna drink you up

Tryna take you home

He wants to cry out at the sight. Don't you know that he would rather die than ever hurt you? 

You do know this, and you're not afraid of the boy in the slightest, but the last five minutes have put you on edge.

Seeing the broken look in the blonde’s eyes, you take quick steps toward his body, wrapping him in your embrace. He melts into your arms, allowing his face to nuzzle into the crook of your neck.

The crowd that had formed around the fight disperses, realizing the show is over.

“(Y/N).” The sound of your name being called pulls your attention away from the sweet boy in your arms.

You pull away from JJ slightly, still keeping an arm around his bicep.

Looking over, you see John B standing to the side with Sarah Cameron. You had heard about the two of them getting together and you suddenly realize why JJ happened to be at this party.

The sadness in John B’s eyes as he looks at you breaks your heart. The two of you have been like sister and brother your whole lives and, besides JJ, he was the hardest for you to stop talking to.

You feel JJ’s grip on you loosen, urging you to go to John. The two of you walk towards each other and John B pulls you into his arms. 

“I missed you, (Y/N/N),” he says unto your hair, “So much.”

You smile, tears softly rolling down your cheeks. “I missed you too, JB,” you say, pulling away to look at JJ who looks back with a sad smile on his face.

But I just don't understand

How another man

Can take your sun

And turn it ice cold

The four of you decided it was best to leave. John B dropped Sarah off at her house and drove the three of you back to the Chateau. Your stomach drops at the sight of the small shack.

JJ notices your facial expression, placing his hand softly on top of yours. “You okay?” he asks gently as John B parks the van.

You nod with a small smile and JJ helps you out of the van, holding your hand as he leads you to the porch. You stop walking, causing the two boys to turn around and look at you.

“I'm sorry,” you say, tears pooling in your eyes again. JJ gives you a knowing look. “(Y/N),” he says, almost sternly.

“No,” you say, wiping your eyes, “Let me talk.” JJ nods and John B looks at you expectantly. “I left you. Both of you. I- Liam, he just made me feel so useless and I didn't want to be a bother to you guys anymore.”

JJ lets out a sound, almost like a growl, and pulls you into a hug. “You are not useless, (Y/N),” he says seriously, “You are so important, to both of us, and we missed you so much.”

You nod into his chest as John B comes to wrap his arms around both of you.

The three of you group hug and you sigh contently, happy to be back with your boys.

Well, I've had enough to drink

And it's makin'

Me think that I just might

Tell you if I were a painter I wouldn't change ya

I'd just paint you bright

John B helps JJ set up the pull out while you change into a pair of John B’s sweats and JJ’s t-shirt. John B says goodnight and goes to “hit the hay” as he puts it, leaving you and JJ alone again.

“I'll sleep on the other couch and you can take the bed,” he says sweetly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

The two of you settle into your “beds”, but you can't seem to fall asleep with so many thoughts running through your mind.

Everything that has happened since you left the pogues seems like one big sad blur. Your mind wanders to JJ. What does this mean for you two? 

“(Y/N),” the voice you love so much calls. You hum in response. “You ‘wake?” he asks. You sit up in the pullout shaking your head.

“Can't sleep,” you say, rubbing your eyes. 

JJ sits up as well. “M’sorry, baby,” the nickname makes your heart flutter.

You open your arms for the boy who looks at you warily. “Are you sure, (Y/N),” he asks. You nod quickly and he stands up, falling into the pullout and wrapping you into his arms. He tucks your head under his chin, pulling you closer.

“JJ,” you ask.

It's his turn to hum in response. “This may be weird for you, but I feel like I just have to say it,” you tell him. JJ pulls back just enough to look into your eyes. He's worried about what you are going to say but tries to hide it for your sake. “I love you, J.”

JJ smiles, leaning down to nuzzle his nose with yours in an Eskimo kiss. “I love you too,” he says sincerely, but you're afraid he doesn't understand what you mean.

“No, J,” you say, looking away from his eyes, “I love you. Like, I'm in love with you.”

The blonde boy only smiles bigger. He leans down pressing a passionate kiss to your lips, pulling away when you run out of air. JJ trails sweet kisses down your jaw and neck before placing one last kiss on your lips.

“I'm in love with you too (Y/N),” he says kissing your forehead. JJ wonders how he went so long without being able to kiss you and hold you. Even after only confessing a few hours ago, it feels so natural to have you in his arms. The thought of not having you makes his heart ache. 

“I have to ask you something, but you can say no and it won't change anything and I understand that this is hard because of everything that just happened,” JJ rambles. You kiss his jaw softly, urging him to continue. “Will you be mine. Ya know. Like my girlfriend, or whatever.”

You smile wide. “Of course I'll be yours, J.”

JJ copies your smile leaning down to press another kiss to your lips.

He pulls away, snuggling into you, and the both of you bask in the feeling of being in each other's arms. Your hand reaches up to play with JJ’s hair as your eyes start to droop.

“Love ya, pretty girl.”

“Love you too, J.”

'Cause blue looks good on the sky

Looks good on that neon buzzin' on the wall

But darling, it don't match your eyes

You are sitting down on a beach towel, watching the sun slowly fall into the ocean, lighting the sky with a beautiful rainbow of colors. Your feet are outstretched in front of you and your hands prop you up behind your back. The Outer Banks heat is making your skin warm, but you don't mind, letting the steadily depleting sun hit your skin.

You watch as JJ catches another wave, surfing it perfectly. You giggle as he raises his hand in a fist, clapping for him. 

It's been two weeks since you finally ended things with Liam. You were able to mend things with the rest of the pogues and Kiara and Pope welcomed you back with open arms. Things with JJ have been going amazing. The two of you agreed to take things slowly seeing as you were just getting out of a toxic relationship. It was different to finally be in a place with JJ where you weren't afraid to show him and tell him how you feel, but you loved it.

JJ runs towards you, gripping his board in one hand as the other pushes back his blonde locks.

When he gets to your towel, JJ throws down his board and plops down next to you, pulling you into a sweet hug.

You giggle. “You're all wet, J,” you say, not making any move to get out of his warm embrace. The boy peppers your face with soft kisses causing you to giggle even more.

A few minutes later you are seated in between JJ’s legs and he has his strong arms wrapped around your waist, his head nuzzled in the crook of your neck.

“I love you, J,” you say, still watching the sunset.

“I love you too, pretty girl,” JJ says kissing your neck. He begins humming the tune to a song you recognize. 

“Blue ain't your color, umm mm,” he sings, “No, no baby, come here baby, let me light up your world.”

✰⋆✰⋆✰⋆✰

#jj maybank #jj outer banks #jj fic #jj x oc #jj x reader #jj angst #jj fluff #outer banks #john b routledge #john b #outer banks fic #outer banks series #sarah cameron #pogue #kook #topper thornton #topper thorton x reader #kiara carrera #rafe cameron #pope heyward

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 6

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 1.448

Still fit for some beer and a game or two?, yn texted Gavin while Connor drove her home. She wasn’t surprised to get back an answer immediately that he agreed. ‘Beer’ was some kind of magical word for most men and maybe, she could find out what was going on with Gavin. Since she was back at the DPD, they barely had a moment for themself to talk as they usually did as partners and friends. She also was looking forward to having a ride on Gavin’s black, beautiful bike because like everytime they followed this ‘game night’-tradition, he would pick her up from home. She knew he would come around later.

Connor parked the car in front of yn’s house and like a gentleman, he accompanied her to her front door.

“I have to admit, this observation with you was more fun than I thought. We should repeat that.”, yn said with a smile.

“I would like that.”, Connor said and nodded.

“Then, I would say, we see us tomo-”, yn got stopped from speaking further by Connor’s lips.

*

Gavin was filled with a thrill of anticipation after he got yn’s text message. A game night with just the two of them was exactly what he needed. Maybe then, he would find a moment to talk with her. After these few days without much sleep and all the anger rising up in him, he felt exhausted. Something had to change. He knew he couldn’t stop feeling guilty and he wouldn't find much sleep soon but maybe, he could change some of the other emotions.

Gavin drove down the well-known street where yn lived. In his mind, he already played through some conversation options. He had just found the right words as the scene he saw stopped his heart for a moment. Emotion driven, the hold around the throttle increased and he passed yn’s house, passed the scene, drove down the street and vanished into the night.

*

Emotionally, yn was more than just confused. Connor had kissed her without a warning. She hadn’t seen it coming. Sure she had been nice to him but this nice? Then, there were the feelings she had felt during the kiss with Connor…

Added to that, she had heard the familiar sound of Gavin's bike but he was nowhere to be seen. Had he seen them?

What a hell of a week was that?

As yn entered the bar, she got greeted by the owner immediately. She waved and grinned while they talked a bit and did some smalltalk. She tried to stay casual while inside her, an emotional carrusel was driving its rounds. The bar owner pointed at a place at the bar as she asked for Gavin. Gavin sat there, head hanging low with a beer in front of him that was barely touched, "Gavin? I thought you would pick me up like always.", she asked carefully.

Gavin raised his head, "Oh, sorry, I seemed to have forgotten it."

"Forgotten?", yn asked disbelieving.

"Yeah, it happens. Who brought you here? Connor?", Gavin asked and even in his own ears, he heard how poisonous it sounded.

"Connor? No. I took a taxi as you didn't show up.", yn answered. So, he had seen them...but why was he this moody? Because it was an android who had kissed her? Because it was Connor?

As Gavin looked up and saw her confused expression, he was mad at everything and felt horrible at the same time, "Come on, let us play.", he said and aimed for the billiard table.

During the first game, Gavin stayed unusually quiet. He always was better in this game than yn and even this time, he potted ball after ball. But unlike all the other days where they played, Gavin never made fun of her.

Then, it was her turn, but yn stayed where she was with the billiard cue in her hand until he looked at her, "Okay, Gavin, what is it?", she asked.

He saw her concerned expression but he was too fucked up. He was tired of so many things, "What do you mean?"

“Something's bothering you.”, yn pointed out.

“No. Of course, not. Why do you think that?”, he said. His mind was yelling the different things he wanted to tell her but now, he couldn’t. Who was he anyway that he thought he could have a chance with her?

“You're unusually quiet. You barely drink something. And you haven't teased me about my non-existing skills in playing this game. And that's just your behavior tonight.”, yn said. There was something in his eyes that let her frown. Was he ... sad?

“I guess I'm just tired.”

“Tired, huh?”, Yn walked over to him. She just left a small gap, “I know when you're lying. Tell me what's wrong?”, she said softly and looked at him patiently.

Gavin looked at her. He looked into her bright eyes which were just focused on him. All her attention was with him how he always hoped it would be. Just her seeing him. In this second, his brain stopped working, he was just moving. Without thinking straight, he cupped yn’s face with both hands and pressed his lips on hers. He kissed her deeply to show her everything he got to offer.

Yn froze and was startled. Her eyes went big as she realized what just happened. On one hand, it was a soft and caring kiss. And, at the same time, it was also a deep, long one. Gavin left her lips and looked into her eyes with a meaningful expression, “I… I love you, yn.”, he whispered, waiting for her response.

Yn was confused. Thousands of questions were swirling in her mind at the same time while she had stopped breathing. Her heart skipped a beat just to drum then into her throat violently while she tried to find her voice back, “Y-you do- what?”, she breathed.

“I love you and I...have kissed you.”, he stumbled over his own words as realization was seeking in what he had done. He had planned it in another way. More … smooth. Not this abrupt. Not like an attack … even if it was a soft one.

Yn stared at Gavin who was still cupping her face, looking at her with confusion in his eyes about his own doing. She tried to process everything but it was too much, “But you...You never said something before.”, she whispered helplessly.

“I- I couldn't-”, he breathed.

“And why are you telling me that now?”, she asked. It sounded confused and overwhelmed even if she wanted to sound more calm. But nothing in her body was calm at all.

Gavin let go of her and stepped back, that wasn’t the reaction he had hoped for but maybe yn needed just a moment to collect herself like he needed a moment. Now, it was time for honest talk so, he answered her question, “I saw how you and Connor kissed…”, even the memory hurted. Mostly, because nothing of this was how he had imagined it.

Yn’s eyes got bigger if that was even possible. That he had seen her and Connor was the last thing she wanted, “Oh, hell, you saw us- oh…”, she whispered.

“Yeah.. 'oh...'”, he repeated her words blandy. The whole situation was everything but not good. Gavin noticed his temper taking control over his brain … the least best thing he needed now.

Yn’s head was spinning and she was overwhelmed while she was extremely confused. And because everything worked on her at the same time, it was the reason why her brain stopped working properly. Before she could say something to calm the tension, Gavin raked his fingers through his hair and looked at her.

“Why him? From all the guys on this planet? Why the plastic toy, for fuck sake?”, he asked erratic.

Yn flinched because of his harsh tone, “He's nice...”, she said and noticed too late how wrong this answer was. That wasn't what she wanted to say. But she couldn't change it. She tried to calm Gavin but the damage was done as she saw the shift in his expression.

His eyes became darker and he drew his brows together. Slowly, he stepped back, just away from her, “Then, I wish you two just all the best in the fucking world.”, he muttered, grabbed his jacket and passed her.

“Gavin! Gavin, wait! Fuck!”, she cursed. He was out of the bar before she could close up to him. One more time, she cursed his long legs. As she stepped out on the pavement, she just saw how he drove away on his bike.

#dbh gavin reed #gavin reed #gavin reed x reader #gavin x reader #detroit become human gavin #dbh gavin #detroit rk800 #detroit become human #fandoms #writing #fanfiction #dbh fanfic

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

4x12 - GSR fix-it fic

(A/N:  What the motherfuck- TUMBLR HAS A TEXT BLOCK LIMIT?!!!! UUUGGGHHH!!!! I guess this is gonna have to be in two parts. But, I guess...this whole thing is pushing 9000 words, so I'll split it 4500-4500. Yeah. I'm as tired as Gil now. I'm gonna go sleep with him. I was inspired to write this after watching that video.  Anyways, they're actually together in this one.  Aka when Gil FINALLY goes home, he can rest his forehead on Sara's and reassure himself that she's actually still okay, and that she's actually still right there, with him.  Because I crave this for them.  So, there are many and heavy contextual changes. Fyi, I'm not writing out every single piece of dialogue/action, hell no.  I'm just writing whatever's relevant to GSR. Oh and, warning - canon-typical ns/fw

{I'm sorry about the formatting but I would like to give} Special thanks to @addictedtostorytelling for...basically saving my ass with all the details of this fic. Thank you for answering my questions, no matter how inane, dumb, unnecessary, or worse. And of course @stokes-theorem got me out of a panic attack; it is much appreciated 🙏)

Gil walked through the house of the 419 of the night, having had to put protective coverings over his shoes so that he did not disturb any evidence he might accidentally step on. He had to keep his back to the wall and walk sideways as well. (The sound of his footsteps were adorable.) As he passed the spare bedroom, he noticed that the victim possessed a collection of butterfly-resembling trinkets, all displayed nicely on her shelf. He made it to the area of event at last, squatting down to take a closer look at the body.

His eyebrows jumped up in shock - the victim had a strong resemblance to Sara. For a few moments longer, he stared at his (secret) girlfriend's image, a dozen thoughts swirling around in his head but never aligning themselves. It was his unfailing sense of duty that allowed him to literally get his head upright and get back to his team, who was waiting outside. But when he opened the door, the very person in his line of sight was Sara; again he stared, this time at her actual self. Inside, there was a dead body, who looked so like her, but here she was, living, breathing and- turning her head to stare right back at him. But the one's gaze held such a different meaning from the other's.

Jim, who was past Sara in Grissom's line of sight, thought that he was the one the team leader wanted to see, so he stepped between the scientists. "Ready for us?"

"For now, no one enters this house except CSI."

[CUE THE INTRO]

Gil assigned Warrick to the car, but he assigned Sara to the perimeter, to which she shook her head in disbelief and questioned, "What? You just did a one hour walk-through. The perimeter cannot be a priority." On 'not', she shrugged and laughed wryly.

His gaze immediately turned beseeching. "I need you to work the outside. Catherine and I will be inside." He momentarily shifted his eyes in the direction of the door at the last bit but immediately looked back at her, his eyes even more pleading. Sara gave him an 'alright, fine' smile and went to do as he said.

Gil did not examine the car, but there was a fair chance that it would yield a fair amount of evidence. However, he had, as Sara remarked, gone over the perimeter, so he knew that Sara's scouring of it would bear no fruit. He deliberately did this; he wanted to dissociate Sara from the case as much as possible, in his own little way.

While Catherine went to interrogate the victim's friend, Gil took the opportunity to go back and stare the body for a bit longer.  He was (understandably) haunted that the 419 looked like the love of his life.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not hear Catherine walk in behind him; his head flinched to the side when she spoke, "One thing I can never get over with this job: anything can happen to anybody."

Gil clicked his tongue and responded, "That's why we're here," before going back to looking over the corpse.

Soon enough, Sara was let in a little more on the action when she had to crawl under the house and unscrew a pipe running from the bathroom to get the water that had been drained into it, as well as process the actual pipe.  However, Gil insisted that she was to return to the laboratory and test just those pieces of evidences as soon as she was done; his intent was that she would be occupied with something appertaining to the case but not in such a major capacity, thus satisfying her curiosity if only on a temporal basis.  Gil and Sara did not know it, but when she looked up into the pipe, Gil happened to be spraying luminol onto it on the other side.  (A/N:  Can I just take a moment to appreciate the cinematography here?  As well as the music <3)

The bugs helped the bug man out again; flies swarmed the dustbins that had pieces of corpse inside them.

After those were sent back to Al and David, Gil went back inside the house.  This time, he examined the victim's collection of synthetic butterflies.  He was turning over one that was blue, translucent, and had a base so that it could stand, a thoughtful frown on his forehead.  If Sara had been there to see him, she would have kissed it away.  He put the butterfly down and picked up a framed picture of Debbie.  With her arms straight up in the air and an open-mouthed smile that showed her top row of teeth, it was evident that she had been jubilant at the time of photography.  Gil shook his head; not because he pitied the loss of her joy, but because he was once again struck by her likeness to the greatest joy in his own life.  He tore his eyes away from the photo and looked at himself in the mirror, trying to collect himself.

But the adverse was achieved, because the bed was visible in the mirror, and he envisioned the victim sitting on it facing away from him, alive and well.  She then looked over her shoulder at him; the image was replaced with that of Sara.

Grissom clenched his jaw.  He stiffly tilted his head to one side, his gaze at himself hardening.  All in an reinforced effort to steel himself.

He was forcibly yanked out of his thoughts when his phone rang; his head flinched a little way in its direction while his eyes flickered down to it.  He picked it up and manage to announce in his normal voice, "Grissom."

"Hey!"  came the voice of the very woman who plagued him so, her voice cheery; she had dismissed any offence she had felt earlier from her mind and forgiven him, just being happy to hear from her man.

But her voice made him drop his mouth open in shock. Restraining the last of his resolve from flying out the window, he said, "Sara.  Uuuuhhh listen I'm in a bad area, I'll call you back."  He deliberately raised his voice a little to make his lie more believable.

Even though he could not see her, she gave a little nod; physical embodiment of her acknowledgment.  She responded by raising her voice just as he did when he next spoke.  "I got a skin tag off the bathroom drain pipe."

"Skin tag.  That's great.  Uh, give it to Greg."

"Yeah I did.  Hey do you want me to come over there and give you a hand?"

"No I'm-I'm-I'm fine," he stuttered, his free hand moving up then down again, as if he was physically dismissing (his emotions besides) her offer.  "I'll-i'll-i'll- uh...I'll talk to you back at the lab."  He immediately hung up after that.  He raised his head to glare at himself; he needed to force himself to push whatever emotions he had aside so that he could focus on the case.

As for Sara, she frowned in concern, but went on brushing what she put down as his typical eccentricity aside and went to help Warrick out with Michael Clark's car.  A third party would have enjoyed watching them work, especially with John M.  Keane's music.

After that, Sara and Warrick convened with Catherine in the break room to go over the course of the physical events of the murder.  Grissom joined remotely by holding his pager to his ear with one hand, while the break room's table had a speaker that his phone was tapped into; it was certainly much easier to communicate with Sara remotely and in a group where he could avoid speaking directly to her instead of communing in private where he literally had to face her.  Since Grissom was at the house, he walked through it himself in accordance with his team's narration.  When Sara spoke, he had to tilt his phone away from his ear, catching himself tripping again.  Since he was at the scene of the crime, he narrated how the deed was done.  As always, he had been envisioning the actual events, so it was difficult for him to picture such a thing happening Sara's likeness, but he pulled through; he did pause for extremely brief moments, and those could be put down perfectly as him taking time to think.

Sara, Catherine and Warrick finally went home after one and a half shifts.  As Sara approached the door to her and Gil's place, she could hear Hank scratching at it.  She smiled and opened the door. "Hey!" she called at the same time that Hank barked. Hank then stepped behind her and sniffed the air. "He's not here," Sara told him, gently pushing him inside with one hand and holding her kit with the other.  She sat on the couch and directed him to sit next to her.  She took her phone out of her pocket and showed it to him.  "We'll call him, huh?"  Hank had come to understand that that little slab of plastic with an area that would light up was something that humans used to communicate with each other.  There were frequent occasions when one of his humans was away, and the other would hold this object in between him and them.  Then, when the human pressed some things that made beeping sounds, there would be a certain tone for a while until the other human's voice could be heard from it; this was one such occasion.

Sometimes however, the other human's voice would not be heard.  In those cases, he and the human would just bark or speak into the slab by themselves.  After several hours, the slab would start up with a ringing sound, and when the human made a beep, the other human's voice could be heard.  He would always bark joyfully then and wag his tail.

So Hank smiled at Sara, tongue hanging out as he panted eagerly.  He watched and listened as she made the slab beep, and a tone followed.  Not too long after, the tone ended, and was replaced with a, "Grissom." He had had to turn away from the area of wall he was swabbing and take the phone out of his inner breast pocket.

Hank immediately started barking into the object, letting his human know that he was excited to hear from him and missed him.  Both humans giggled.  (At least Hank managed to cheer Gil up for a little bit.)  Sara absentmindedly ran her other hand down his ear as she waited for him to stop barking so that she could have her turn at speaking. The dog was aware of this, and let his mother have her turn in due time. "We miss you," she smiled.

He sounded forlorn as he answered, "I know... I miss you too...but I have to finish this." He was frowning sadly, and his shoulders were slumped. Sara thought that he was sad because he regretted not being able to come home to her. While this was true, he had another reason: that he had to deal with...this. And it was not that he had to deal with it; it was something that he had taken upon himself to. All he wanted was to protect his Sara, even if it meant hiding (fortunately minor) details of the case from her, and foregoing sleep altogether.

"Why not come home? Take a break. And you can continue tomorrow," she tried to coax him.

He shook his head even though she could not see him. "No. You go ahead without me," he said woefully.

She frowned in concern. "We gotta stop doing this." She was referring to the fact that they often stayed up for the whole day to work on cases instead of getting sleep.

"I know, I know," he sighed, his free hand squeezing his temples. "I promise I'll get more sleep after this case, okay?"

There was a period of silence when Sara nodded. "Okay," she said genially.

She heard her boyfriend huff a sigh; he dipped his head defeatedly when he did that. "Look, I-i-i'm sorry," he stuttered for the second phone call from her in a row.

She shook her head, "Don't be. It's alright. I'm guilty of the same thing." As well as she could hear that he was in dire need of sleep, she would not force him to since he did not want to. Plus, there was no way she could get Gil to come home without people questioning as to how she managed to get through to the stubborn workaholic; suspicion would be raised as to the true extent of their relationship.  He was at a loss as to what to say.  So, she rescued him as usual, "I'll see you back at the lab?"

He felt as if there were chains around his body that had just been loosened. Finally, something he could answer honestly! He felt as if he was ripping them off as he answered, "I don't think so. I still have to process the carpet-"

"The carpet?! Gil, that thing runs over every inch of floor!!!" Hank, who had been contently resting his head on Sara's lap, jerked his head up at the sudden interjection.

"I know," he groaned slightly, the vocalisation coming more naturally now that he was free. The boxer lay his head back down. "It has to be done though."

She nodded before saying, "I know. Don't run yourself into the ground, okay? I mean," here he could hear her snicker, "no more than you usually do."

For the first time in over a day, he smiled. A small but genuine smile that made the corners of his storm blue eyes crinkle endearingly; if Sara was there to see it, she would have kissed him. "I'll try not to." And, ah, how nice - she could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Take care of yourself. Remember to eat at least. I love you."

"I'll try. I love you too. I love you Hank!" His head jerked up again and enthusiastic barking ensued. The humans followed suit with more giggling before they hung up. With his spirits lifted anew from his conversation with Sara, he pocketed his phone and got back to work with a little more energy than he had before.

As for Sara, she put a hand on Hank's head and said, "Well boy, let's go and eat some breakfast huh?"  He gave a cheery bark and jumped off the couch.  Sara closed and locked the door, carried her kit and followed him down the stairs.  She hurried to put her kit away and then popped back to the kitchen to set out Hank's food, and then get herself food. They ate, went for a walk, and returned. Sara took a shower, and put on Gil's shirt after. When it came time for bed, Sara asked Hank to lie on the bed with her, and cuddled him. "Since Gil isn't here, I'll hold you tonight," she smiled. He seemed to understand as he nuzzled her face and lay his head back down.

A little after the phone call, Gil did go and eat. He shed himself of his coveralls, put them in his car, got in himself, and drove to the nearest diner. He ate there and then took away a second meal for his lunch, which he ate at the appropriate time. Sara went to the laboratory at nine o' clock that night, wanting to do all she could to help her boyfriend. She went to check on Warrick's progress.  Upon finding him sifting through the contents of the victim's vacuum cleaner with a pair of tweezers and coughing profusely, she teased, "He-he-heyyy. Blacklung."

"Ah...I've been sifting through this trash for about six hours." That meant that he had been working for the entirety of the swing shift. "You come here to rescue me or make fun of me?" the poor man retorted.

"I am just looking, relax." She pointed to one of the petri dishes Warrick had set out to sort the evidence. "What are these white fibres here?"

"They must be from the spare bedroom, because all the other carpets are green."

Sara looked at the plan drawing of the house. "Spare bedroom wasn't on his entrance or exit path."

"Look, all I know is that they were near the top of the bag, so it must've been one of the last things he vacuumed." Sara gave small nods of acknowledgment.

"I did manage to find this butterfly pendant..." Warrick moved his tweezers to the petri dish where it was and picked it up, "...with some white fibres in it. Looks like it's from a necklace, or a bracelet. And it has this link, which has snapped so I'm thinking...sign of struggle?" He straightened up a little bit to raise his point.

"Killer was in that spare bedroom."

Gil's panicky obsessiveness was certainly affecting a fair few of his teammates. Catherine went to the scene of the crime at the same time as Sara returned to the laboratory.  She knew that Gil was very stressed out about the victim looking so much like their dear friend, and so she wanted to help him.

(Poor Gil...he did not realise that when he worried, his team family worried too and would do whatever they could for him; he did not realise that they could love him as much as he loved them.  He had such heavy doubt about his own lovability, so much so that he even almost rejected Sara when she first asked him out.)

Catherine walked in to see Gil processing the carpet (to the amazing soundtrack). During the conference, he had mentioned that he had processed the carpet on the threshold of the bathroom, and at present he was processing the area of carpet just beyond that.  Her work-wife face on, she said to him, "Don't tell me you never went home."

Gil looked up at her, one hand still on the carpet and the other holding his filter paper. "Okay." Since she did not want to hear anything to that effect, he decided to water it down by saying, "I just got started in here.  I haven't even got into any of the rooms yet."

"You know you lose your edge after sixteen hours, and you're into your third shift. She brought her forearms out to her sides. "I mean I'm all for overtime but, this is just plain greedy."

He shook his head tiredly before reassuring her, "My knees can't take this anymore." As fuelled as he was from his food, it still physically hurt to remain on one's knees for an extended period of time.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Yes."

"Ah," she nodded approvingly.  "Then, how about a shower?"  Gil shook his head.  Catherine raised an eyebrow in turn.  At Gil's look of horror, she clarified, "I mean at your place.  You need to go home."

"As soon as we find some evidence, I promise."

"With fresh eyes you won't miss it."

Her work-husband groaned as he stood up, his knees creaking.  "Just talk it through with me will ya?  What do we know?"

Catherine's eyes shifted to the side in thought.  "Alright."  She inhaled deeply before continuing, "The bathroom is where things got started. Candles, oils...steam shower...cleaned up, oiled up...sexed up."

"Let's go back to the bedroom," Gil voiced, moving his head a little way in the direction of the bedroom. They got their UV-protective goggles out of their kits, with Catherine taking the torchlight as well.  Cath shone the light on the topmost bedsheet, but nothing showed up under the fluorescence. "No, nothing on this sheet," Gil noted. He lifted that sheet to expose the one underneath, to yield the same result; he gently cocked his head to one side in acknowledgement (which was cute).

"She changed her sheets for her date; I would," Catherine remarked.

Since there was nothing to be found on the top surface of the bed, Gil let his gaze wander to the side of the bed. A ring embedded into the mattress caught his eye with a loop red cloth threaded through it with the rest stuffed under the mattress caught his eye; this time his head jerked a little to the side in vigilance. He squatted down and pulled it out, passing hand over hand.  When it was completely free and he could see what it was, he transferred it to one hand so that he could take off his goggles with the other.  He then looked up at his colleague with an uncomfortable expression and called, "Hey Cath..." When she looked at him, he held the thing up as if he was holding a dead rat and continued, "...got silk?"  His eyes shifted to the object as he asked that.  What he meant by that was if there was an identical finding on her side.

She looked down at her side of the mattress, and opened her mouth at the discovery and looked back at him.  Gil kept an inquiring gaze on her and took the opportunity to stand up.  She bent to her side while reaching an arm down and fished the cloth out.  "Why yes I do."  Gil looked back at the one in his own hand and shook it to see if anything would fall out; he was still disconcerted and frowning though.  His unease was turned into scepticism when Catherine said, "Iiii don't mean to embarrass you but um...some guys need leverage," as she stepped towards the foot of the bed and removed the sheets to uncover the barrier.

"They do?"  He was frowning a little bit harder; Sara certainly never complained.

Grinning in the hopes of finding something, Catherine gave a nod before saying, "I'll dust for prints."

While she did that, Gil's phone rang again.  He took his phone out from the same place he had when Sara called.  "Grissom."  He stuffed the hand not holding his phone comfortably into his pocket.

"It's Warrick.  I have somethin' for you - I found a butterfly link.  With some white fibres in it."

Grissom started walking to the other bedroom.  "Butterfly where?"

"In the vacuum bag.  You check all the rooms?"

"Lemme look again, and I'll get back to you."

"Alright." Grissom had reached the spare bedroom by then, so he put his phone away and got up to the shelf where the victim's butterfly collection was, a smile gracing his face at the sight of insects. He shone his (regular) torchlight on the contents of the shelf. When came across some more photos of Debbie, he drew himself back slightly, but quickly tore his gaze away from them; this was not the time to dwell on his feelings. His gaze averted to a blue jewellery box next to them, decorated with even more images of butterflies. He opened it; inside, there was an assortment of accessories, all butterfly-themed. He carefully used a finger to move them about, pushing them aside to see if there were any broken-off pieces. He did find one near the top right of the box.

In the meantime, Catherine had successfully made a print show up.  She tape-lifted it with a triumphant smile and proudly brought it to show Grissom.  "Hang one.  Toe print.  I'll have Sara compare it against both victims."

"Good."  Sara was the only unoccupied person.  "Warrick found a butterfly charm in the vacuum bag...I think I just found a piece from the same chain in this box."  He pointed to it.

"Butterfly huh?"  Catherine mused, her eyes moving to look over the rest of the trinkets.

"She had a collection." He seemed quite happy to announce that, and it was no wonder why.

"Gifts?  From her...gentleman callers?"

"Maybe the killer was taking his gift back.  As in, leave no trace.  Maybe he finally ran out of patience and got sloppy."  At the last sentence, his voice deepened, as if he was challenging the unseen and unknown perpetrator.  Upon shining his torch on the shelf below, he found a strand of hair.  Short and white, as would come from an elderly man.  He squatted, with Catherine following suit, and picked it up with his tweezers.  "And this is why I didn't leave."  His voice was soft with excitement and victory. Catherine left to bring the hair and toe print back to the laboratory, giving the print to Sara and the hair to Greg. Gil got back to Warrick and informed him of the matching butterfly.

Sara went to take the lower ten cards of both victims. Having finally gotten the chance to look at Debbie, she moved the swivel chair she was sitting on to draw herself up beside the victim's face. She stared down at it.  And suddenly, she understood.  She understood Gil's skittishness, understood why he had been reluctant to let her in on the case.  And she was, of course, haunted; it could very well have been her on Al's slab.  She glanced about, not knowing what to think; she could not articulate her emotions even in her own head. Eventually, they settled on one person: Gil. Gil, her protector; the person who had been 'protecting' her from this case at any rate.  She would speak to him to clear her head; she could always talk to him, and he would never turn her away. Well...he used to. But that was when his feelings towards her were even more of a mess than they currently were. He had progressed a lot with her help.

With that temporary comfort, she finished up and went to run the prints through AFIS. That took several hours. By the time that day shift roller around, both Debbie Marlin and Michael Clark were ruled out.  She then went to find Gil.  Or Catherine; whichever she found first. She went to the shift supervisor's office; nobody was there. And nobody was in the assistant shift supervisor's office either. But after some wandering around, she found Catherine in the locker room, sitting on a bench and changing her shoes. "Hey," Sara called, trying to seem cheery, "you seen Grissom?"

"He's still at the crime scene," Catherine responded, glancing at her as she did.

Sara nodded to signify her acknowledgment before reporting, "I eliminated both victims from the print you pulled off the bed."

"Well we know she was fishing off the company pier..." Sara responded with a look and a nod. "You uh, seen Debbie?" Catherine looked at her properly, wanting to gauge her reaction.

"Yeah," she said laconically, not wanting to give anything away.

"And?" Catherine enquired.

"Yeah I compared her...toe prints," she avoided still, her expression hardening.

Seeing as that would lead nowhere, Catherine decided to comment, "If I didn't know better I'd think that it was you on that table."

"I didn't really...look at her face," Sara denied. Noticing Sara seemed sad somehow, Catherine relented and just gave her a knowing look. Sara let her face fall, and allowed herself to sound as pleading as she really was when she asked, "If you see Grissom will you tell him?" Catherine nodded sincerely. Sara just walked off after that. The assistant shift supervisor convened with Jim and they went to Desert Palm print samples.  They did find a match; Dr.  Tripton.  Catherine phoned Gil and informed him of it.

#Youtube #csi #gsr #4x12 #gil grissom #sara sidle #billy petersen #william petersen #jorja fox #c-v-c-e fic

[babygirlkiki1016]

Dead in the water

Me and Dean sat on the edge of the bed like two teenagers in trouble as Sam was pacing the room, trying to think on what he should say. Finally he stops and looks at the both of us with his arms crossed.

"So let me get this straight, you tell her you wanna wait till she's eighteen but then you decide screw it?"

"....Sammy-" Dean begins to say but Sam cuts him off.

"Dean if your gonna be with her then you can't have sex till she's eighteen."

"Your ove- wait...what? So hold on your ok with this?"

"Yeah, I mean it was gonna happen sooner or later. It's hard for you to stay away from a beautiful lady anyways." I blushed at Sam's comment.

"Well that's new." Dean mutters and he grabs a lock of my hair, making me look over at him.

"What?"

"Your hair it's pink and purple."

"So two emotions at once? I'm guessing pink is love....and purple is fear. So your nervous and feeling loved at the same time!" Sam grabs his laptop and begins taking even more notes.

"Aren't you guys afraid if me?....I mean this isn't normal, don't you guys think I'm a monster or something?" I wondered, was I a monster? Is this what happened to me years ago? Is this what dad was talking about, about how he didn't trust John because...something happened to me?

"Well you certainly have powers, but you can't control it besides you don't know what's going on."

"And you haven't killed anyone." Dean adds.

"But why is this happening now? When I was at home none of this was happening....maybe I should call dad..."

"No, we can't risk him finding us, the next time you call him he'll probably be ready....and I don't want you to go..." Dean admits, while scooting closer, I could tell he wanted to kiss me.

"You two get a room! Wait no, don't do that." Sam laughs, "Alright love birds we need to get back to the subject at hand." He starts researching about the case we're working on, Dean was still staring at me. "Dean!" Sam yells, catching his attention. "Day dream later, work now, you need to take Y/n to get a few things."

"Like what?" He asked.

"Tattoo, gun that kind of stuff, if she's gonna be a hunter then she needs to have the supplies."

"W-Wait what tattoo?" I stutter and Dean points to the pentagram on his chest.

"It's so we don't get possessed, don't worry I'll be there with you."

"Ok, and a gun? I mean why not just use the ones we already have in the back of the impala?"

"Cause you need your own, one that you can carry with you at all times." Dean gets up, puts his shirt back on then grabs the keys to baby. "C'mon we'll get you prepared while Sam does his nerdy thing." I chuckle and follow after him, while grabbing his hand to hold it. He didn't even question it, he pulled me in and kissed my lips, making me yearn for more. Sadly the kiss didn't last long, if we stood there any longer Sam probably would've come out. When we got in the car, the whole drive to the tattoo parlor we were jamming out to eye of the tiger. Which I was still humming it while I was sitting in the chair getting the pentagram on my (wherever you decide to put it.)

"That's a pretty good spot." Dean commented, as he sat next to me.

"Thank you." I grinned, he smiled but it slowly faltered over time, making me grab his hand, squeezing it. "You ok?" I asked worriedly.

"...What happened at the motel can't happen again." He didn't even look at me it was like he was ashamed, did he regret what we did?

"Why not?" He didn't answer, I grabbed his chin and made him face me. Sighing he scoots closer as he lowers his voice.

"Your seventeen Y/n...."

"So? We only have (how many months until you birthday.) I'm technically eighteen already."

"One I don't wanna get arrested and two, we met about about three weeks ago. Don't you think we're moving a little to fast?"

"According to Sam you bone a girl on every case, or at least try to, and your saying it's a little to fast?"

"Good point, but....I just want you to be sure this-" He points to himself, as if himself was a problem. "-is what you want."

"....You are what I want, if you weren't I wouldn't have kissed you. Although if you wanna wait....I respect your decision." That made him smile, he leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, now I believe your tattoo is done." I looked down at it, it was sexy as hell. After we payed for it, we went on the road again. When we crossed over the bridge I asked Dean if we could stop to see the lake and look at the sunset. Hesitantly he agreed and pulled over, I got out excitedly. The lake was a dark blue mixed in with pink and orange from the sun, it made me sad to think it was gonna be gone soon.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

"Not as beautiful as you." Dean flirted making me blush as he pulled me closer by the waist. He started to lean in, those rough lips covering my soft ones.

"I thought we couldn't do this again."

"I meant almost having sex, kisses are something we can definitely do." He smirked and leaned back in again, and as his lips brushed against mine his phone rang. Angrily he sighed and answer it, it was probably Sam.

"What? No we're not!" The look on his face made me giggle as he looked over at me. He started moving his hand, pretending it was Sam who talks to much. "We'll be there in twenty minutes Sam, we still gotta get a gun. Sam, Sammy we're fine....alright we'll be there as soon as we can. Mhm ok bye."

"He's certainly a talker huh?"

"It's a nightmare on how much he can talk...now where were we? Oh yeah I remember." He pulled me back to his side. "Might as well steal as many kisses I can get before we head back to the kiss police." He smirked and smashed his lips against mine once more as his arms wrapped around me. This time it wasn't just a normal kiss, I fought for dominance, my tongue asking for entry. Biting his lip he pulled back, "Y/n keep doing that and I just might say screw it again.." As he said that he slipped from my grasp. "No I promised myself I can wait...c'mon let's get back to Sam." Sighing in disappointment I got back in the car, I guess he's really serious about this.

~~

"I found something." Sam says as we sit next to him. "So there's the three drowning victims this year."

"Any before that?" I wondered.

"Uh, yeah." Sam has a browser window open to The Lake Manitoc Tribune. "DROWNING TAINTS ICE FISHING FESTIVAL." It says, he clicks, and another browser window comes up, again The Tribune: 12-YEAR-OLD Girl DROWNS IN LAKE, Second drowning in 6 months at Lake Manitoc. "Damn, so six more spread out over the past thirty-five years. Those bodies were never recovered either. If there is something out there, it's picking up its pace."

"So, what, we got a lake monster on a binge?" Dean jokes as he grabs a beer, he hands the both of us one.

"Dean no." Sam tries to take it away from me.

"Aww c'mon Sammy one beer won't hurt." Dean winks at me, both of the boys stare at me as I take a sip without any reaction. "See what'd I say? She's fine."

"So this whole lake monster theory." I try getting them back on track. "It, it just bugs me."

"Why?" Sam looks at me in confusion.

"Loch Ness, Lake Champlain, there are literally hundreds of eyewitness accounts, but here, almost nothing." Sam looks at the Tribune homepage once more.

"Whatever it is out there, no one's living to talk about it." Sam states as he scrolls to the comments section of an article, I point to one.

"Wait, Barr, Christopher Barr. Where have I heard that name before?" I remember that name, I thought, it's so familiar. Sam reads from the page.

"Christopher Barr, the victim in May." Sam clicks a link, opening a new page. "LOCAL Man IN TRAGIC ACCIDENT." The picture loads and it shows a police officer with Lucas. "Christopher Barr was Andrea's husband, Lucas's father. Apparently he took Lucas out swimming. Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned. Two hours before the kid got rescued." Sam clicks the picture for a better look, then scratches his head. "Maybe we have an eyewitness after all."

"That kid must be so freaked out. Watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over....." I felt bad, but so far Lucas is our only lead, hopefully he'll help us. We headed to the park planning to talk to Lucas who was our only witness. Kids are laughing and playing as Andrea sits on a bench and watches her kid. Who is at another bench coloring and playing with toy soldiers.

"Can we join you?" Sam asks and Andrea looks up.

"I'm here with my son." She says as I spot Lucas and so does Dean.

"Oh. Mind if we say hi?" Dean asks, and he lightly grabs my arm signaling for me to come with.

"Why are you bringing me with you?"

"Cause of he doesn't talk, then hopefully you can convince him." We approach Lucas, who's drawing a picture.

"How's it going?" Dean kneels down next to the bench where Lucas is coloring, when Lucas doesn't even look up, Dean picks up one of the toy soldiers.

"Oh, I used to love these things." Dean imitates guns and explosions, I chuckle as he tosses the toy soldier down.

"I think crayons is more his thing Dean. That's cool, besides I like to draw myself, including painting." I noticed that he has a pile of drawings on the bench. Dean takes a look, the top one is of a big black swirl, the second one is of a red bicycle.

"Hey, these are pretty good. You mind if we sit and draw with you for a while?" Dean asks, he picks up a crayon. "I'm not so bad myself."

"Oh really?" I ask.

"Yea I'm a pretty good artist."

"Mhm...we'll see." I grab a crayon and a piece of paper, and start drawing. "Can you draw a bird?"

"Oh so this is a competition? Your on."

Dean sits on the bench, picks up a pad of paper, and starts drawing. "You know, I'm thinking you can hear me, you just don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what happened to your dad, but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something." Dean says to Lucas. "You don't think anyone will listen to you, or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything. You could draw me a picture about what you saw that day, with your dad, on the lake...hm?" I say, Dean sighs. "Okay, no problem. This is for you." Dean holds out to Lucas the picture he drew, it's stick figures. "This is my family." Dean points at each person in turn. "That's my dad. That's my mom. That's my geek brother, and that's me, then a little birdy in the sky-" Dean stops talking as he sees my drawing, which was a lot more detailed than his.

"I thought you could draw Dean." I giggle.

"All right, so I'm a sucky artist...." Dean waits for any sign from Lucas, hoping he would chime in but nothing. "Well see you around, Lucas." Dean heads back to Sam and Andrea, I smile, he seems really good with kids, I thought.

"Here." I place my drawing next to Lucas. "You can keep it...just know of you need anything, I'm here." Him still not responding, I make my way to the others.

"Lucas hasn't said a word, not even to me. Not since his dad's accident." I hear Andrea say.

"Yeah, we heard. Sorry." Dean says softly.

"What are the Doctors saying?" I ask.

"That it's a kind of post-traumatic stress." She explains.

"That can't be easy. For either of you." Sam intervenes.

"We moved in with my dad. He helps out a lot. It's just...when I think about what Lucas went through, what he saw..."

"Kids are strong. You'd be surprised what they can deal with." Dean smiles and looks over at me, making me roll my eyes.

"You know, he used to have such life. He was hard to keep up with, to tell you the truth. Now he just sits there. Drawing those pictures, playing with those army men. I just wish-" Andrea goes silent as Lucas walks up, carrying a picture.

"Hey sweetie, you ok?" I kneel and smile, he hands me the picture. "Thank you..." It's a picture of the Carlton house....

~

Me and Dean are inside the motel room, I'm sitting at the table and Dean is sitting on a bed. Sam went to the library to get some books so we were alone.

"Y/n? Here." Dean suddenly speaks, he pats the seat next to him. I slowly walk over and sit next to him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah...About earlier, on the bridge...."

"Dean..."

"It's not that I don't want to I do trust me I do...."

"Don't apologize, it's ok I understand..." He glances over at me, his eyes showed a little bit of lust. We both started to lean, this feels wrong, I thought, but yet so right. We've only known each other for a few weeks, yet I wanted him more as his lips brushed against mine. Our lips connect, making me scoot closer but Dean pulls back again.

"We can't..." Yet he kisses me again muttering over and over one more. I slipped onto his lap, straddling him while pulling closer. Before we could possibly go any farther Sam opens the door and comes in as we quickly seperate.

"So, I think it's safe to say we can rule out Nessie." He says, unaware of what was going on.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, Sam sits across from me and Dean.

"I just drove past the Carlton house. There was an ambulance there. Will Carlton is dead."

"He drowned?" Dean asks.

"Yep. In the sink."

"What the hell? So you're right, this isn't a creature. We're dealing with something else."

"Yeah, but what?"

"I don't know. Water wraith, maybe? Some kind of demon? I mean, something that controls water...water that comes from the same source."

"The lake, that's the source." I chime in. "Which would explain why it's upping the body count. The lake is draining. It'll be dry in a few months so whatever this thing is, it's running out of time."

"And if it can get through the pipes, it can get to anyone, almost anywhere." Sam says as Dean stands up.

"This is gonna happen again soon. And we do know one other thing for sure. We know this has got something to do with Bill Carlton."

"Yeah, it took both his kids." Dean growls.

"I've been asking around. Lucas's dad, Chris, is Bill Carlton's godson."

"Let's go pay Mr. Carlton a visit."

~

We left to go to the Carlton house a s spotted Bill sitting on the bench on the dock. Sam speaks "Mr. Carlton?" He looks up, wondering who we are

"We'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."

"We're from the, the Department-" Bill cuts Dean off.

"I don't care who you're with. I've answered enough questions today."

"Your son said he saw something in that lake. What about you? You ever see anything out there? Mr. Carlton, Sophie's drowning and Will's death-we think there might be a connection to you or your family." I explain.

"My children are gone. It's...it's worse than dying. Go away. Please." Realizing we weren't gonna get any where we decide to head back to the car.

"What do you guys think?" Sam ask.

"I think the poor guy's been through hell. I also think he's not telling us something." Dean guesses, Sam leans on the Impala.

"So now what?" I ask, Dean goes still "What is it?"

"Huh...." Dean is looking at the Carlton house. "Maybe Bill's not the only one who knows something. Y/n do you have the picture Lucas gave to you?" I nod and pull it out, the picture Lucas brought him, which is of the Carlton house.

~

"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea." Andrea says, we decided to give Lucas another visit hoping he'd talk to us.

"We just need to talk to him. Just for a few minutes." I plead.

"He won't say anything. What good's it gonna do?"

"Andrea, we think more people might get hurt. We think something's happening out there." Sam explained.

"My husband, the others, they just drowned. That's all."

"If that's what you really believe, then we'll go. But if you think there's even a possibility that something else could be going on here, please let me talk to your son." Dean looks at her, hoping she'll say yes. Silently she agrees leads us into Lucas room with Sam and Andrea behind us, he's coloring, toy soldiers standing around him. We enter and Dean crouches down by Lucas. "Hey, Lucas. You remember us?" I notice Lucas has drawn two more pictures of a red bicycle. "You know, I, uh, I wanted to thank you for that last drawing. But the thing is, we need your help again." Lucas is drawing a person in water. Dean opens the house picture and puts it down in front of Lucas.

"How did you know to draw this? Did you know something bad was gonna happen? Maybe you could nod yes or no for me." He ignores Dean and keeps coloring. I slowly walk over and sit down in front of him. "You're scared. It's okay. I understand." Dean told him. "See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom...I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom-I know she wants me to be brave. Cause she taught me to be brave. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe, your dad wants you to be brave too...its ok if you don't want to, but I really need your help." Lucas drops his crayon and looks up at Dean then at me. He hands me a picture of a white church, a yellow house, and a boy with a blue baseball cap and red bicycle in front of a wooden fence.

"Thanks, Lucas." I smile, which he returns making me fill with happiness. After we left Andrea's house the three of us are standing infront of the Impala, Sam examining the church picture.

"Andrea said the kid never drew like that till his dad died." Dean speaks.

"There are cases-going through a traumatic experience could make people more sensitive to premonitions, psychic tendencies." Sam groans.

"It's all part of the process." I chime in. "Whatever's out there, what if Lucas is tapping into it somehow?"

"You mean magically?" Dean asked, confused.

"Yeah, I mean he might be connected but he doesn't even know...but what does the church have to do with this?"

"I don't know, but the only problem is there's about a thousand yellow two-stories in this county alone." Sam looks at the picture. "See this church? I bet there's less than a thousand of those around here."

"Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart." Dean comments.

"Well what about the church we passed by when we drove into town?" I wondered  which the boys thought it wouldn't hurt. So we drove to the white church shaped like the one in Lucas's picture. There's a yellow house next to the church and a wooden fence near the house. When we got to the door, I knocked and a woman answered. We told her we were FBI, at first she was hesitant but eventually let's us in.

"Im sorry to mother you ma'am, but does a little boy live here, by chance? He might wear a blue ball cap, has a red bicycle." I ask.

"No Ms, Not for a very long time. Peter's been gone for thirty-five years now." She sighs, and I notice a picture of Peter on the side table. "The police never-I never had any idea what happened. He just disappeared." Sam points out to Dean a number of toy soldiers on a table. Just like the ones at Luca's house, I thought, so I was right. "Losing him-you know, it's...it's worse than dying." She explained, however I felt someone staring at me, it was Dean. When we make eye contact he looks away, cheeks burning.

"Did he disappear from here? I mean, from this house?" Dean asks.

"He was supposed to ride his bike straight home after school, and he never showed up." Sweeny answers, I start to walk around and pick a picture off the mirror. There are two boys in the picture, one Peter with a bicycle. I read the back of the picture, the words made my eyes go wide. "Peter Sweeney and Billy Carlton, nineteen seventy." I mutter, after the visit with Mrs. Sweeny, we decide to go talk to Bill again. "Mr. Carlton?" Sam calls out as we walk up to the house, we hear an engine roar. We run around the house to see Bill going out on the lake in his boat. "Hey, check it out." Dean says, pointimg towards the lake. We start to run to the end of the dock, yelling. "Mr. Carlton! You need to come back! Come out of the water! Turn the boat around!"

He ignores us and keeps going, the boat was to far out, all I could see was the water rising up, making Bill's boat flip over.

~~

After the accident me, Sam, Dean, and Jake walk in the door of the police station. Andrea looks over, "Sam, Y/n, Dean." She stands up, putting the bag and a container on her chair. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"So now you're on a first-name basis." Jake says. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought you dinner."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I don't really have the time."

"I heard about Bill Carlton. Is it true? Is something going on with the lake?"

"Right now we don't know what the truth is. But I think it might be better if you and Lucas went on home." Lucas looks up and whines, looking stricken. He jumps up and grabs my arm, pulling and tugging.

"Lucas, hey, what is it?" I kneel down, it was like he was trying to get a message to me but couldn't form the words. "Lucas?"

"Lucas." Andrea calls.

"Lucas, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, Lucas, it's okay. It's okay." I say and was about to comfort him when Andrea pulls him away from me and leads him outside. He doesn't look away from me however. Jake throws down his jacket and goes into his office. The three of us follow behind. "Okay, just so I'm clear, you see...something attack Bill's boat, sending Bill-who is a very good swimmer, by the way-into the drink, and you never see him again?" Jake summarizes, Dean glances at me.

"Yeah, that about sums it up." Dean mutters.

"And I'm supposed to believe this, even though I've already sonar-swept that entire lake? And what you're describing is impossible? And you're not really Wildlife Service." Dean looks surprised. "That's right, I checked. Department's never heard of you three."

"See, now, we can explain that."

"Enough. Please. The only reason you're breathing free air is one of Bill's neighbors saw him steering out that boat just before you did. So, we have a couple of options here. I can arrest you for impersonating government officials and hold you as material witnesses to Bill Carlton's disappearance. Or, we can chalk this all up to a bad day, you get into your car, you put this town in your rearview mirror, and you don't ever darken my doorstep again."

"Door number two sounds good." Sam says but I was about to protest.

"That's the one I'd pick." After that we left, packed our stuff an left. I was pissed, there is something happening here and we're just gonna leave? The three of us are in the Impala, waiting at a traffic light. A sign says I-43 North to Milwaukee is to the left. The light turns green, but the Impala doesn't move, after a few seconds Dean turns right.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Thats what I'm wondering to. Dean, this job, I think it's over." Sam tells him.

"I'm not so sure." Dean says.

"If Bill murdered Peter Sweeney and Peter's spirit got its revenge, case closed. The spirit should be at rest."

"All right, so what if we take off and this thing isn't done? You know, what if we've missed something? What if more people get hurt?"

"Deans gotta point, I don't think this is over either." I agree.

"But why would you think that?" Sam questioned.

"Because Lucas was really scared."

"That's what this is about?" Sam groans.

"I just don't want to leave this town until I know the kid's okay." Dean agrees.

"Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?" Sam chuckles and Dean glances at Sam.

"Shut up."

~~

We arrived back at the Barr's and stood out there for at least a good five minutes.

"Are you sure about this? It's pretty late." Sam asks us, Dean rings the doorbell. At that moment, Lucas opens the door, desperately afraid.

"Lucas? Lucas!" I yell but he takes off. We follow him to the hallway, water is pouring out from under the bathroom door and down the stairs. Lucas starts pounding on the bathroom door again. Dean pushes him over to Sam and I kick in the door. Lucas grabs Dean and me, so Sam runs into the bathroom and sticks his arms in the tub, trying to pull Andrea out. She is pulled back under, and Sam is struggling, so I run over and help him out. The force is strong but not strong enough, we keep pulling until Andrea is all the way out. As soon as she's out she starts coughing up water, later Andrea is sitting in the living room, dry and wearing comfortable clothing.

"Can you tell me?" Sam asks, who is sitting next to me.

"No." She answers. Dean and I were looking through notebooks on bookshelves, to see if anything that is happening would relate to the situation.

"It doesn't make any sense." She starts crying. "I'm going crazy." She puts her face in her hands.

"No, you're not. Tell me what happened. Everything." Sam pleads.

"I heard...I thought I heard...there was this voice."

"What did it say?"

"It said...it said 'come play with me'. What's happening?" Dean pulls out a scrapbook that says "Jake - 12 years old" and opens it, flipping pages. He closes it again, nudges me and we go over to Sam. He puts the book down in front of Andrea, open to a picture of Explorer Troop 37. "Do you recognize the kids in these pictures?"

"What? Um, no. I mean, except that's my dad right there. He must have been about twelve in these pictures." She moves her finger over to another picture of Jake as a child, he is standing next to Peter. Dean looks at Sam, then me.

"Chris Barr's drowning. The connection wasn't to Bill Carlton. It must have been to the Sheriff."

"Bill and the Sheriff-they were both involved with Peter." I muttered

"What about Chris? My dad-what are you talking about?" She asks, I look over to Lucas. "Lucas?" I call, he is staring out the window.

"Lucas, what is it?" Dean asks, Lucas opens the door and walks outside. We all follow him, he look determined.

"Lucas, honey?" Andrea calls as he stops and looks at the ground, then at Dean. "You and Lucas get back to the house and stay there, okay?" Dean says and Andrea pulls Lucas back to the house. Dean and Sam presumably fetch shovels from the Impala, before they start digging. After five minutes later I hold out my hand.

"Here Sam, I'll take over, why don't you go inside?" He nods and heads inside after handing me the shovel, so now it's just me and Dean. It was silent for a little while, until I spoke. "So, we gonna talk about it?" Dean glances at me.

"About what?"

"...The kiss, that Sam sort of ruined." He laughs.

"Well uh...what is there to talk about?" He stops, making me stop as I walk over to him, lightly placing my hand on his. "Dean I...Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why kiss me? I mean do you...love me? Or is this just a fling." He goes silent for a second, but speaks.

"I don't know what I feel...however when I'm with you I'm happy..." I smile, I make him happy, I thought. "Y/n...I know your seventeen, but I want to be with you. So will you be my girlfriend?" Quickly I nod which makes a flower bloom on his features. He slams his lips against mine. He drops the shovel and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. Sam clears his throat while laughing silently and we pull away, both of our cheeks red. "Am I interrupting?" I chuckle and we go back to digging as awkwardness fills the air. My shovel clanks against something, and me and Dean dig with our hands, pulling out a red bicycle.

"Peter's bike." I whisper.

"Who are you?" Jake growls from behind us, pointing a gun.

"Put the gun down, Jake." I tell him.

"How did you know that was there?"

"What happened? You and Bill killed Peter, drowned him in the lake and then buried the bike? You can't bury the truth, Jake. Nothing stays buried."

"I don't know what the hell your talking about."

"You and Bill killed Peter Sweeney thirty-five years ago. That's what the hell I'm talking about." Just then Andrea runs up yelling. "Dad!"

"And now you got one seriously pissed-off spirit." Dean mentions.

"It's gonna take Andrea, Lucas, everyone you love. It's gonna drown them. And it's gonna drag their bodies God knows where, so you can feel the same pain Peter's mom felt. And then, after that, it's gonna take you, and it's not gonna stop until it does." I tell Jake, he scoffs.

"Yeah, and how do you know that?"

"Because that's exactly what it did to Bill Carlton." Sam explains.

"Listen to yourselves, all of you. You're insane."

"I don't really give a rat's ass what you think of us. But if we're gonna bring down this spirit, we need to find the remains, salt them, and burn them into dust. Now tell me you buried Peter somewhere. Tell me you didn't just let him go in the lake." Dean begs.

"Dad, is any of this true?" Andrea asks, voice shaking.

"No. Don't listen to them. They're liars and they're dangerous."

"Something tried to drown me. Chris died on that lake. Dad, look at me." Jake does. "Tell me you-you didn't kill anyone." He looks away in shame. "Oh my God." 

"Billy and I were at the lake. Peter was the smallest one. We always bullied him, but this time, it got rough. We were holding his head under the water. We didn't mean to. But we held him under too long and he drowned. We let the body go, and it sank." Jake tells us and Dean glances at Sam. "Oh, Andrea, we were kids. We were so scared. It was a mistake. But, Andrea, to say that I have anything to do with these drownings, with Chris, because of some ghost? It's not rational."

"All right, listen to me, all of you. We need to get you away from this lake, as far as we can, right now." Dean warns, but Andrea turns her head and spots Lucas going down to the lake, she gasps. We turn to what she's looking at, "Lucas!" I yell and I run up to the dock. Lucas is leaning over the side, reaching for a toy soldier in the water. "Lucas!" Dean yells.

"Lucas! Baby, stay where you are" Andrea yells. A hand comes up and pulls Lucas into the water. The adults have reached the edge of the lake. Jake stops as Peter's head is visible, Jake recognizes him. We keep running to the end of the dock.

"Oh my God!" Andrea yells. She takes off her jacket to jump in.

"Andrea, stay there!" I say and I jump in, I could hear Andrea trying to get to Lucas.

"We'll get him! Just stay on the dock!" Sam pleads. I could see Lucas at the bottom and I swim down there to get him. He was being dragged down, I swim faster, what I didn't understand is Lucas was let go and started floating upwards. Did the ghost just let him go? That doesn't matter, I grab Lucas and swim back to the surface. I emerge while holding Lucas, who isn't moving.

~

The three of us walk out of the motel, Dean opens his car door and Sam tosses a duffel in.

"Look, we're not gonna save everybody." Sam says, he was referring to Jake who died to save Lucas.

"I know." Dean sighs.

"Sam, Dean." Andrea walks up with Lucas. "Hey." Me and Dean say at the same time. "We're glad we caught you. We just, um, we made you lunch for the road." Lucas is carrying a tray of sandwiches.

"Lucas insisted on making the sandwiches himself."

"Can I give it to them now?" Lucas excitedly asks.

"Of course." Andrea smiles and kisses his head.

"Come on, Lucas, let's load this into the car." Dean says.

"How you holding up?" I ask Andrea.

"It's just gonna take a long time to sort through everything, you know?" I sigh. "Andrea, I'm sorry, if I knew-" She silences me and shakes her head.

"You saved my son. I can't ask for more than that. Dad loved me. He loved Lucas. No matter what he did, I just have to hold on to that." I smile as Dean walks up to me with Lucas.

"All right, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time."

"Zeppelin rules!" Lucas laughs.

"That's right. Up high." Dean holds his hand up for a high-five. Lucas obliges, grinning.

"You take care of your mom, okay?"

"All right." The both of them leave, Dean smiles and gives me a peck on the lips, then goes around the car.

"Sam, move your ass. We're gonna run out of daylight before we hit the road."

"Yeah yeah ok." Sam chuckled as we all got in, continuing with our adventure.

The New Hunter Masterlist

@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99

#dean supernatural #dean winchester #dean winchester imagines #sam winchester #sam winchester imagines #dean winchester smut #dean x reader #dean x y/n #sam winchester smut #sam x you #supernatural