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my-name-is-jefferooni · 6 months

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I listened to one edit audio and now I have a new Sonic AU.

Okay, well it's more like a What If, I guess.

So for context, I have this STH AU that I've been silently developing in my brain for the past like 2-3 years now, basically since I first joined the fandom. It's an idea I had where Sonic had a family and shit but then Eggman existed and they got killed and so the mad genius took Sonic under his wing. After a whole decade of being used as a literal lab rat, the blue hedgehog finally finds freedom in the form of the Resistance, (Ironically enough I've decided to add in more resistance factions. One of them is called the Freedom Fighters like the one from Archie and yet Sonic didn't find freedom with them lmfao) and befriends the main cast.

What I'm thinking of right now is a sort of aftermath of Eggman's rule being taken down, when everyone finally gets to live in peace. Sonic and his friends (Including Omega because HE IS AN MVP AND SHOULD NOT BE OVERLOOKED) have a little camping night and decide to tell ghost stories. Unfortunately, Knuckles being Knuckles, he took it all a bit too far and planned his whole story out after like a month of brainstorming. And I am not kidding when I say his story is fucking dark.

Mostly because it's actually my story lmfao but I digress.

It all begins when Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles are called by some random guy to help take care of some weird haunted house situation. Knuckles wants to help because he wants to prove to Tails that ghosts are very much real and are in fact very terrifying. Sonic joins him just for the hell of it, and Tails is there to make sure those two don't commit any war crimes without his permission first. And, well...

Suffice to say, they find more than just ghosts there! :D

The first obstacle they run into is an angry doll spirit of sorts. The spirit is a physical manefestation of a horrified, terrified, screaming body crying out for help, and it plants little seeds of poison or something of the sort in your appendages if you get too close. Its screams are loud and can shatter one's soul in an instant! It glitches all the time too, allowing it to go through walls with some effort. And when laying dormant, the spirit resides within a little itty-bitty doll with a distorted face.

After running away from that thing, the group runs into a crack monster. (It's scarier than it sounds trust me) It's a black, inky humanoid monster that comes out from the cracks in the floor, grabbing onto to anything it can reach and never lets go. The only way to make it loosen its grip is to cut its arm off entirely. Don't worry, that doesn't harm the monster, because it's already dead! It'll grow back a new arm anyway. :3

What comes after this guy is a mix between a vampire and a ghost. This guy is a little more confusing cuz I didn't flesh it out very much but it kinda only shows up in pitch-black areas. No light to be found when ur with this guy! It's a bit more neutral compared to the other spirits. Just don't provoke it and you should be relatively fine! Key words: You should be fine.

Next up is a brain-sucking bat! (idk man I just wanted something that crawled around on the ceiling but a spider didn't feel right) And I know that doesn't sound as haunting as the others but trust me, it is terrifying! I don't know how to explain it, it just kinda crawls around on the ceiling and waits for you to lose your mind.

The next one is by far one of the scariest. Don't read this next paragraph if you have depression or have lost a loved one because it may be a little tough.

This spirit is... Interesting, to say the least. I still have yet to fully flesh out this one but basically it's a completely humanoid figure, no face, no eyes or mouth, just long thin hair in clumps on the scalp. It's not a full head of hair, it's all just scattered about like they put too much bleach on or something. And there is always a very strange aura around it as well... The neck is split in two, their hands tied in a noose and their feet tightly bound with shackles. Their only mode of transportation is eerily floating about, and it gains speed if it decides it wants to chase you. If you get too close, your neck will snap and you'll immediately collapse on the floor, dead. Knuckles and Tails don't have any interactions with this spirit, but Sonic does, and he somehow manages to make it out alive. However, the encounter changes him for the worst.

These spirits all reside within a seemingly small house, at least on the outside. When the three Mobians step inside though, they immediately get trapped inside and discover the house is far bigger than they could've ever imagined. It's dark inside, with hardly any light available, and every room feels cramped despite everything. Hallways are like mazes, and bedrooms are filled with this creepy, terrifying aura that can paralyze you just from stepping inside. So suffice to say, none of them have a good time.

The three begin to change as time goes on. Tails loses an arm to the first spirit, the doll one, and he has no way of replacing it. He becomes saddened, apathetic, but still holds out hope in finding some sort of exit. If not for himself, then for his brothers.

Knuckles becomes extremely paranoid, flinching at every little sound, movement, or wisp of the wind. The sight of dust just existing sends him into an internal panic, and encountering spirits just sends him into "Defend brothers at all costs" mode. He's also just the slightest bit selfish, but it's only because of his uncontrollable survival instincts and his heightened paranoia. He is prone to mood swings, but they're not nearly as bad as Sonic's.

As for the blue devil himself, Sonic just. Went insane. There is no downplaying it, he is a goner. There is still a strong moral code within him and he never wishes harm on anyone, least of all his brothers! However, when it comes to social queues or listening to what anyone has to say, he's just. Gone. He also experiences very drastic mood swings! They're so bad that one second he'll be crying and being all sad and pathetic, and then the next he'll be all happy and giddy and hyping everyone up! This still makes him the hype-man of the group despite everything. Due to his changing emotions, Sonic does tend to get a bit aggressive from time to time, and constantly belittles his brothers without meaning to. The others are understanding, but after he eventually realizes what he says or does, he becomes inconsolable, and his two companions just have to let him stew in his regret for a while. It never ends well, but when all is said and done, Sonic means well and just wants to get out like the rest of them.

After an undecided amount of time, the three do find an exit and begin to leave, but the crack monster gets ahold of Sonic's entire fucking body and puts its whole weight into it too. Knuckles and Tails don't have anything on them at the time to save Sonic, but they refuse to leave without him. The crack monster begins calling for its companions, and Sonic starts begging for his brothers to leave him behind. He's scared and he's hurting and he knows he'll be in even more pain if they leave, but they're family. Sonic can't just let his family share that pain.

Knuckles and Tails insist on staying, but after Sonic continuously begs them to leave, screaming and crying and trying to shove them away, and... Well... The two have no choice but to oblige.

The three give each other very quick and clipped goodbyes since the other spirits are literally like right outside the room, and then just like that... Knuckles and Tails are gone.

And Sonic is alone.

#BRO I SCARED MYSELF JUST WRITING THAT OUT HOLY SHIT #OHHHHH MY GOD THAT IS HORRIFYING #hAPPY FUCKING HALLOWEEN I GUES??????#GUYS HELP IM SO SCARED RN #OH MY GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT WAS TERRIFYING I AM NEVER SLEEPING WELL EVER AGAIN #WOW #OKAY UHM... YOUR WELCOME??????????#JHWUFHDHYFWVOGD*HIUOB:UQFUVY*WBUD #blog/ask stuff #angst

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bigskydreaming · 3 years

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Headcanon that everyone within the family may think of Dick as the one most in their father’s favor, but Dick is keenly aware that the general public thinks of him as their father’s ‘Consolation Prize.’

After all, when from their perspective he’s the one Bruce raised since he was eight as his ward, with that dissolving when he was eighteen and very little perceived contact between the two of them for years after that, while Jason was adopted soon after being taken in and Dick was then later adopted years after Jason’s death, without any public fanfare.....

What does that look like other than Bruce ‘settling’ for the son who didn’t appear to be his first choice, just chronologically first, once he lost Jason but still needed/wanted an heir, as he was getting older and the general public still didn’t know yet how closely tied Tim was to the family or that it wouldn’t be long after this that Bruce adopted him too?

Now granted, you can definitely perceive the above as overly angsty and not the only way this situation was likely to be perceived outside the family, but my point is more that like.....nobody ever presumes that the general public are overly kind or generous in their views or assumptions about the Wayne family behavior. I just don’t buy that people assumed there was some optimistic explanation for the way things appeared here, or that people just went “oh its probably because the kid who grew up in that house the longest just doesn’t WANT to be adopted by the billionaire and have all the security that brings, and that’s also clearly why he lives in Bludhaven of all places and a shitty apartment building at that.”

I mean, no matter what WE the readers may know of Dick’s personal priorities and how little he cares about where he lives or that Bruce would have willingly paid for him to have a better place to live if he really wanted it, is that what people are most likely to assume, based on appearances?

Anyway, I’m just saying, I bet it bugs the crap out of Dick to hear his siblings casually refer to him as so obviously enjoying favored son status and being the clear apple of Bruce’s eye, as he’s like, cue internal monologue: gee, sure wish I was as confident of that back during the years he seemed to want nothing to do with me.

Like I’ve said before, I think Dick isn’t actually super insecure and his insecurities such as they are mostly revolve around how his family and friends perceive him, not the general public.....BUT I do think that with as high profile as the Waynes are, there’s no way that nobody picked up on how little contact Dick and Bruce had in the continuities where they literally went over a year without even speaking to each other....and like, felt free to draw their own conclusions.

And I do think this is also part of why I default to thinking a lot of canon takes and headcanons tend to gloss over how shitty Gotham public could be in their views/treatment of Dick. Like just because Dick was basically trained from birth to be able to work a room and entertain people while in their direct presence, that didn’t actually make him ‘one of them’ in their eyes, and I reeeeeeaally don’t think you can actually underestimate the pettiness and jealousy one percenters feel when they see someone they inherently view as lesser than them - as they would’ve viewed both Dick and Jason due to their lower class births - like....’leap frogging’ over them into greater wealth via being taken in by Bruce.

Like, idk, maybe it just comes from having been a scholarship kid who went to a richy rich private high school attended mostly by the children of senators and hotel-chain owners, lol, but like.......I can not for a second picture Gotham’s upper class actually LIKING Dick or being as charmed by him as they frequently are depicted as, just because Dick knows how to be charming and likable. Like they might play it that way when in public at a gala, for appearances or whatever....but the second he turned around they’d be badmouthing him at juuuuust a high enough volume to ensure he’d be able to HEAR them but not be able to call them on it without it looking like he went back and provoked a scene over something ‘nobody else around them heard them say’ or whatever. Just to make sure that no matter how well he came across in public social settings, he never ‘forgot his place’ or whatever or forgot that they were all too aware of it too.

And also also, it always kinda bemuses me that as much focus as the Court of Owls and Talons get in Dick’s narratives in canon and fic, that we’ve barely ever seen any examination of what the Court retroactively means for Dick’s years growing up around upper class Gothamites who likely included more than a few Court members.....like, we KNOW years later that like, all along there were these people who even without knowing who Batman and Robin were, like, knew Dick Grayson was their ‘Gray Son’ and intended to claim him as their weapon someday, and you can’t tell me that wouldn’t have factored into how they viewed and interacted with a child and teenage Dick Grayson as they attended many of the same social gatherings and functions. OR that Dick himself in the aftermath of the Court of Owls reveal, didn’t look back at his OWN childhood and reflect on how many creepy or uncomfortable encounters he had with various socialites that left him feeling decidedly skeeved out and not a fan of how they were looking at him or things they might have said to him, thinking themselves oh so clever for alluding to things he had no idea about......like, I imagine there had to be more than a few encounters from his younger years that always stuck with him, and after the Court of Owls revelation like....looked TOTALLY different to him, especially if he happened to know for sure that some of those very people were in fact Court members. BUT I DIGRESS.

All in all though it all circles back to the same thought for me.....people might have been polite to Dick’s face when he was growing up, but they most likely had plenty of shit to say the second his back was turned, and I doubt they were afraid to be overheard by him. Especially in his later years, once people noticed how distant he and Bruce seemed to be, and thus perceived that as meaning that nineteen year old Dick Grayson wasn’t as ‘protected’ by Bruce the way he was when he was younger.....meaning the people who were most jealous of Dick’s ‘catapulting’ up the social ladder and eager to knock him down a peg because of that, like....probably would have looked at the relative lack of contact between he and Bruce as far as anyone could publicly tell, and felt emboldened enough by that to up their snide whisper game with shit like gossipping about how oh, the Grayson boy may be back in Gotham again, but we all know he’s just poor Brucie’s consolation prize anyway, why, if he really cared all that much about the boy, he’d hardly have ever let him run off to Bludhaven of all places, without even making sure to staple the advantages and opportunities granted by the Wayne name to him the way he made sure to right off the bat with the younger one.....

So yeah. There’s my angsty musings on how Dick likely is perceived by Gotham public at large, and how his interactions with them - especially when NOT around Bruce and Jason and the rest of his family....probably very much does not match up with what they assume public perception of Dick is, given that in their eyes ‘everybody loves Dick Grayson,’ but in Dick’s experience ‘everybody may be charmed by Dick Grayson while he’s doing his best to be charming,’ but don’t mistake that for acceptance. Not when Gotham’s public are just as likely to dismiss him as the second choice Wayne heir and consolation prize to make themselves feel more important/elevated than him the second their own insecurities have them feeling intimidated by the wealth, power and prestige Dick does actually share in by virtue of being part of Bruce’s family.

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supercantaloupe · 3 years

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okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.

i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.

that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.

i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.

what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.

now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.

but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.

but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.

and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.

there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.

and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.

i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.

listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.

#sasha reviews #sasha speaks #the unsleeping city #unsleeping city #long post #dimension 20 #gd i stayed up way too late to write this #tuc #the unsleeping city chapter 2 #the unsleeping city 2 #tuc2 #antisemitism

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sincerelyreidburke · 4 years

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please tell me more about boy scout dex

My friend, let me firstly apologize because I know I did sit on your ask for a little while. I think it’s been a month (?) since I posted that original random text-post about Boy Scout Dex, but as I mentioned in this brief PSA, I haven’t forgotten about him. I come to you today with a bullet-list!

As an FYI, I am definitely going to write actual prose fic about this in the future, so stay tuned. For now: let’s talk about Dex’s Boy Scout backstory.

- The first thing we should establish is that this is in the CCU. If you don’t know what the CCU is, it’s just my understanding of the canon universe. CCU stands for Cromwell Cinematic Universe, named for a stuffed lobster Dex has named Cromwell. Given that canon has never directly contradicted the idea of Dex having a stuffed lobster, I elect that this is the closest I’ll come to being canon-compliant. Prove me wrong. :D

- Anyway, the CCU is a series on ao3; you can read it here. Boy Scout Dex is simply another part of Dex’s colorful history.

- It’s really not that colorful, actually. I mean, he’s Dex. He comes to college afraid of baking.

- Anyway. Let’s talk, shall we? (This is going to get long, so under the cut we go.)

- In the CCU, Dex lives in Bar Harbor, which is one of Maine’s more famous towns, tucked into the east side of Mount Desert Island, which is just off the coast, and is the largest island in Maine. This is not a geography lesson, but since we’re here, here’s a visual. The little marked location is MDI, and then Samwell would be in the center-left bottom of the map.

- Anyways, with that digression aside, I’m bringing up Dex’s hometown/home island for two reasons: one, because I went and looked it up, and there is a Boy Scout troop there (Troop 89, though I was prepared to invent one if there wasn’t one on-island), and two, because the natural world around the island will become important later for Scout reasons.

- In order to proceed, let me introduce you to a few members of the CCU Poindexter-family expanded universe. MDI isn’t so small that everybody on the island knows everybody— the population is 10,000, which is just around the same as my own hometown, and I definitely don’t know everybody here. But what is true about my hometown is that there are certain families who have prominent roles in the community, and I would absolutely say that the Poindexter family is well-known on the island.

- They’re a very blue-collar, Irish Catholic, patriotic American family. Dex has cousins, aunts, uncles, and extended relatives galore. Dex’s uncles are notable enough in canon for him to mention them multiple times; in the CCU, he has 6 uncles on his pa’s side and another 3 on his ma’s. We’ll focus mostly on the Poindexter side for the purposes of Scout Dex.

- I have a feeling that the 7 Poindexter brothers (aka Pa and the 6 uncles) were probably all involved in one way or another with Scouts or at least some other community-building activity as kids. The one who rose to the top was Uncle Ronny, who is now the Scout Master for the troop on the island.

- Yes, I learned a copious amount of Boy Scout terms to make this post.

- Anyway, Uncle Ronny is a carpenter by day, and he takes the scouting stuff seriously; he sees it as a sort of civic duty. He has one son and three daughters (the female Poindexter cousins probably do Girl Scouts, but that’s a discussion for another time), and all his kids participate.

- Dex’s Pa, Will Sr., definitely also was super into this growing up. (In the historical AU I’m writing, Pa was in the Navy, and I cry every day thinking about how he can’t be in it in the CCU. This, as well as his general nautical lifestyle, is my consolation to myself.)

- Okay, so what do they actually do?

- Dex and his cousins grow up in the program. I feel like tiny redheads make up a solid fifty percent of the MDI Cub Scout troop in the late 90s and early 2000s. Dex is extremely outdoorsy even from a young age, and he loves Scouting, through and through— from the camps in the summer to earning badges and working his way up in ranks to even just spending time with his cousins. Cub Scout-era Dex sort of comes before all the repression, self-deprecation, and regression into the hardened, temperamental person he shows up at Samwell as. So in other words, Cub Scout Dex is a generally happy kid.

- Cub Scouts are from around kindergarten to fourth grade, or ages 5-10. Once you’re about 10 and a half, you move to general Boy Scouting, aaaaand this is where the fun begins, because in my research, I discovered…

- Sea Scouting.

- Sea Scouting is essentially a subdivision of the general Boy Scout program, and it’s exactly what it sounds like: Boy Scouts but with more nautical themes. Look… you guys… they wear fucking sailor suits… I’m physically deceased… I don’t think you understand how much I need this in Dex’s life.

- Has you or a loved one ever thought, hey, Mel, (that’s yours truly), do you by any chance have a thing about sailor suits? You may be entitled to the knowledge that you’re right…

- Pretty much every Poindexter who did Boy Scouts was also involved in the Sea Scout program. Why? Uhhhhh… they live on the ocean and have a fishery and also just think about all that sweet sweet oceanic Dex symbolism—

- Right, okay, so things that are important to Dex during his time as a Scout: oceanic conservation, also conservation on land because Acadia National Park is right on MDI, boating safety, actual sailing. Fun fact: they have sailing competitions.

- Through the entirety of his Scouting life, Dex is really close with Uncle Ronny. He’s one of probably three cousins who are the most active in the program, and I’m jumping the gun a little on myself here, but he definitely does get Quartermaster. This is the highest rank you can get in the program, and it’s taken very seriously by everyone involved. It’s the Sea Scouting equivalent of Eagle Scout, which is probably much more familiar to most of you.

- Uncle Ronny is his go-to uncle for all things Scouting and also probably all things outdoorsy.

- Some time later, when Dex comes out to his family, Uncle Ronny will take it very, very hard. Although other uncles will come around, his relationship with Ronny will never really recover.

- Anyway! We are not going down that road at this moment in time. Let’s move on.

- By the way, the entire troop is definitely really closely tied with the island’s Catholic church. They very likely wear religious emblems on their uniforms. There’s a lot about God in the general guidelines of being a Boy Scout, and the troop is all over this. Because New England Irish Catholics.

- Okay, Dex gets Quartermaster. It’s the highest honor a Sea Scout can have. The core tenets/skills, fun fact, include: swimming, safety, marlinspike seamanship (???), boat handling, ground tackle, navigation, weather, and environment. He’d be getting this right around the same time he’s graduating high school. To get Quartermaster, you have to physically take control of a boat for like 40 hours, with other Scouts as witness. That is super badass.

- Also, I need you guys to see these uniforms. If someone drew Dex in this, I’d die.

- This is getting so long; I’m so sorry. Okay, some other time, remind me to talk about Dex’s internal struggle in response to the Boy Scouts homosexuality controversy. (I won’t go super into this right now, but essentially, until recently, gay men couldn’t be troop leaders. Gay youth membership has also been… generally discouraged, without being directly prohibited. There’s a lot to unpack there.)

- But, y’know! Poindexter family tradition, right???

- Aside from all the nautical skills, Dex’s Scout background translates to this at Samwell: he’s always prepared. The Boy Scout motto is literally Be Prepared. I think it’s easy to see, from all our canon knowledge of Dex, how this kind of background could factor into his character.

- I mean, the boy is constantly volunteering himself to fix things.

- Okay!!!! At the risk of making my longest text post ever, I will stop here for now. But please know: my ask box is open. There will be fic about this, and probably more of these bullet-list text posts. Ask or send me anything you’d like.

Thank you very much for the ask, and thank you for your patience while I put this together!

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #william poindexter #boy scout dex #cromwell the stuffed lobster

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alukaforyou · 4 years

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and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

#.txt

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jessiewre · 4 years

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Day 22

Sun 26th Jan 💜

It’s been a year to the day since we lost Nanny. That’s mad isn’t it. Miss that legend.

Woke up at about 5am because we’d gone to bed too early, but managed to power through and stay in bed till 7am. Phil got up and continued researching his new obsession - a half marathon near Kilimanjaro - and I joined him at 8:30am for Spanish omelette breakfast included in our 25$ a night room. Good deal that init. People say that in London you’re never further than like 5 meters away from a rat. Well thats like me and good deals, there’s always one close by for me to sniff out. Maybe I’m more like one of those pigs and the deals are truffles.

I digress...

The hostel manager was now wearing a chefs coat and I realised he was now the chef. What a multi-talented chap he was. I threw him into a frenzy by asking for salt, pepper, ketchup and chilli sauce, and eventually went into the kitchen myself to assist.

The ketchup was in a huge bucket bottle in the fridge and he gracefully glugged it out into a plastic squeezey bottle that he couldn’t find the lid for. Yum.

Shout out to Stella and Helen who will surely boke at that description of keptchup.

We got bodas to the Woman’s Centre for the recommended walking tour starting at 10am - but there was a big bike race on believe it or not, and so road blocks meant we had to walk the last kilometre. Phil was loving the bike race, I could see his legs twitching like he was imagining himself on a bike that moment, but I soon snapped him back to reality by power-walking ahead to avoid us being super late to the walk.

The sky was rapidly turning a dark shade of grey but Phil assured me that the weather report he’d checked stated that there would be no rain until midday or later.

You may be able to sense where this is going.

We arrived at the Centre and sat in the sofa area for the introduction, and the exact moment the woman began to talk and tell us about the community, the rain began to thunder on the metal roof and no one could hear a word she said. After 10 minutes, the intro finished and the rain actually calmed down a little, but then it went totally crazy again and me and Phil looked at each other like...hmm should we just not do this walking tour.

Another English girl there was thinking the same thing and the 3 of us decided to ditch the tour and head back the next day, while the 3 older people and a young American woman went off in the torrential rain with umbrellas. Umbrella’s are all good and well but I couldn’t see another soul on the streets so I seriously doubted how good a community walking tour would be in this weather. We chatted to the English girl, Esther, and she was ending a weeks work doing research for the Princes Trust who she works for. In a nutshell, she creates programmes for local groups in different countries to integrate technology into their lives to improve their prospects and quality of life. Really interesting! Phil mentioned that she should hang at our hostel later if she wanted as we were planning on trying out the bowling alley on site, and she was really up for that, especially considering she was in Kigali on her own and it was her last night.

The rain eventually calmed down enough for us to jump on a boda and we decided that considering the rain, it would be appropriate to visit the Genocide Museum at this point. We knew we were going to visit it at some point so made sense to be inside during the rain.

We were really hungry though and didn’t want to rush through the museum, so thankfully there was a cafe on site where we had a vege burger and vege panini, both with chips. We decided we’d try and lay off the chips for a while after that meal, it was the chip that broke the camels back.

The Rwandan Genocide museum was a harrowing and necessary visit.

The below information is upsetting, I’ll warn you now.

genocide

noun

noun: genocide; plural noun: genocides

1. the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular nation or ethnic group.

To briefly summarise, the problems began when the country was ‘colonised’ - or should we say if we’re being honest, when the country was invaded against its will. The Germans were first in 1899 then the Belgians in 1916 and then the Belgian’s decided to split the country into three different groups. Ultimately this created a sort of competition between the groups of people that had never existed before and this was what they say sparked the issues in the country. Fast forward to 1994, and the genocide officially began, over a period of 100 days - neighbours were murdering neighbours, friends were murdering friends. Relatives even betrayed each other. By turning people against each other, the ringleaders were able to sit back and watch the killings happen for them.

Being in the country now, its very difficult to imagine it happening, as it feels vibrant, friendly and safe. But the images in the museum leave you under no illusions. People were mindlessly slaughtered, no one was spared - children, pregnant women and men. It was absolutely mind-blowingly horrendous.

The museum talks a lot about how the international community sat back and let it happen, like Rwanda was on another planet that no one cared about. There is obviously a lot of pain from that which was difficult to read about.

But there were also a number of people who put themselves on the line by hiding people in their houses and gardens, saving many lives. Unfortunately, there were not enough of those people and over a million people were killed. They are still uncovering mass graves today.

There were videos playing with interviews from survivors talking about the guilt they feel from being the only member of their family who survived. But incredibly, they spoke about forgiveness and said they would like to forgive the perpetrators if they were willing to ask for forgiveness. They spoke about moving forward with only peace in mind, as this was what would move Rwanda forward in a peaceful way. By seeking revenge, the violence and pain would continue, they said. It’s unbelievable to hear that from someone who watched their innocent young siblings and mother murdered by machete in front of their very eyes. You can’t even imagine what this person has gone through.

One of the most difficult parts of the museum was The Children’s Room. This section had beautiful photos of child victims printed in large portraits displayed around the room, with a small plaque underneath each one with bullet points of information about the child, like:

Name

Age

Favourite Snack

Best Friend

 Then the final point for every child was

Cause of death

The descriptions here were detailed and distressing.

Obviously there is a huge amount of detail missing from this account of the genocide and I urge you to have a read about it if you have time and are interested.

We left there after a few hours taking it all in and went to find the Inema Art gallery, as we’d read about it being a really cool artists space that has had a lot of international interest.

It was different to what I expected, as there wasn’t actually a lot of pieces in there - more like a few extremely large pieces, each priced around $5000. So obviously, we bought two and headed off.

Well anyway, some of the artists were there stood near their art in smart clothes and were hoping for a super rich muzungu coming in and buying everything. That was not going to be us, so we thanked them and headed to the cafe for a little coffee.

Not before I asked them if there were any female artists there.

One guy said No, the women in Rwanda seem to stick to the craft-making and THEN he said that even though many are good at art, he thinks they are lacking in passion.

I said Hmm perhaps you means Confidence, not passion.

He was like Oh yeah, maybe that.

Yeah MAYBE THAT mate.

We boda’d back to the hostel and Phil donned up in his gear for a run. Just before heading off, he finally booked himself a spot onto the Kilimanjaro half marathon in Moshi, Tanzania on 1st March. FFS. Better get practicing on my excited supportive girlfriend look then.

Meanwhile I sat in the hostel garden watching videos on how to use Procreate on the iPad. Suddenly realised Phil had been gone AGES and then he rocked up having run like 10 MILES and then said Oh also, I may have tripped over and potentially broken my toe.

He’d taken out his phone to check the map and ended up kicking a bit of metal sticking out of the group, and then he’d fallen over and made a few new cracks on his phone screen (to join the 5 that were already there).

Wicked.

Phil had a quick shower and change while hobbling around on his bad foot (I hear broken toes are brilliant for half marathons), and Esther arrived at the hostel, so we went searching for a restaurant open on a Sunday. After a few fails, we eventually stumbled across a place called Afrika Bite and negotiated the 10k per person meaty Rwandan platter down to 5k each for a vegetarian version for all of us. It was so good! Garlic potatoes, peanut sauce, rice, vegetables, fried banana, salad, plus some ‘fish fingers’ ordered as an extra. Such a welcome relief to eat something local and delicious. Shout out to those who are reading this blog mainly for the food descriptions.

We went back to the hostel to play in East Africa’s 2nd bowling alley (the only other one is in Nairobi!) and Esther made sure she mentioned she had a ‘bad neck’. That would explain her unbelievably bad scoring thats for sure. Ok now to be fair, Phil the physio also advised that she use the heaviest ball available which turned out to be truly awful advise and after a stagnant run of about 2 points in 6 goes, she tried a really light ball - and actually hit some pins! Go Esther.

Can I also mention that this bowling alley had a system where a bloke hidden at the end would organise the pins and reset them for us manually using a kind of lever system. He always managed to move his hands out of the way before the ball struck the pins of course.

Esther headed back to her hotel and we ended up playing basketball on the two hoops game with Desire the manager. Our quick game of ‘How many can you score in 1 minute’ managed to take over our lives for over an hour. My record was 23, Phil’s 24 (he’s taller init) and Desire managed 33 (well, he works there so ya know). Was addictive and super fun and I got the impression Desire will spend the next year working on his pb.

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tellmevarric · 6 years

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So... the Far Cry 5 ‘good’ ending. Good being very relative term in this case. Obviously I have issues with it and given I’m nearing the end of my third playthrough (which would be kind of disturbing but is actually a result of having time on my hands the game not actually being that long due to the gameplay mechanics acting like a ticking clock with the main story missions - I dragged out 3 & 4 much longer because you could control when you did the main story missions better in those games... but I digress), I have been able to explore a bit and take in a bit more of what happens.

So, I have my own headcanons about the ‘good’ ending and because I write fic, I incorporated them into a bit of a fic featuring my Deputy Aaron Cartwright. Because it was easier for me to articulate them that way. Anyway, these are my headcanons only but they’re mostly supported by things that are said and/or shown in game or some external research done by me (re: the flowers they use to make the Bliss).

Cut for length, btw. And this hasn’t been edited much so it might be a bit rough. It was part of a longer fic but I may never get around to editing or publishing those bits.

It took five weeks to convince Joseph Seed that he was a true believer now. Aaron would consider it the best acting job of his life but one thing he’d become aware of as the days passed was that whatever Joseph had been before they arrived, he had well and truly taken a dive off the deep end now. He didn’t actually seem violent anymore and Aaron’s early defiance had been greeted with little more than disappointed looks and endless sermons. Now, though, Joseph let him wander wherever he wanted in Dutch’s bunker and Aaron was careful in turn to stay away from the exits.

At least until now.

He’d found a secret cache of various medicinal drugs tucked away in the room he was using. He’d blessed Dutch’s paranoid soul that meant that he’d hidden things even in his own bunker, especially when he’d found the sleeping tablets. He’d taken several days to work through his plan and even do a couple of dry runs. He and Joseph split the cooking duties and the night he chose to act, he cooked a thick rich stew, something as close to his mother’s recipe as he could get with the supplies they had in the bunker. And into Joseph’s portion, he stirred the crushed sleeping tablets. There had only been three, which wouldn’t kill Joseph, but it would be enough for Aaron’s purposes.

Because in the last few weeks, he’d had time to think through what happened and one thing that had occurred to him very late one night about a week and a half after they’d arrived here – he’d been dosed with Bliss before and it had never worn off that quickly. The Sheriff had told him that. Sure, the brief exposures he had as he went about his business faded quickly but when he’d been properly dosed, no. And he’d been all but swimming in the stuff after Joseph had pushed over those vats. The first time Faith had dosed him, he’d been gone for days before they’d found him. Same with the second time. If what happened was to be believed then the Bliss Joseph had poured out at his feet had worn off in mere minutes. And frankly, Aaron didn’t believe it.

Add to that, those explosions – multiple – had been close. Close enough to cause fire and brimstone and devastation. Close enough that at least one of them, possibly more, was inside the valley. The radiation load they’d received must have been immense. They should have gotten sick within hours and stayed sick for days, maybe even died. But they’d both been perfectly healthy.

And the whole thing was just so… over the top. From his memory, there had been at least three, possibly four explosions within close proximity to or actually inside Hope Valley. A small, insignificant valley in the middle of Montana. Now, Aaron liked to think he was as important as the next person but that was overkill for one tiny county that had nothing of any national, let alone global, significance in it. If they’d been in New York or Los Angeles or Boston, sure. If they’d had a top secret government lab or something, then fine, he could understand it but Hope Valley?

Sure, there had been those radio broadcasts about trouble in the rest of the world but… the cult owned the radio stations. That had been in the briefing they’d had before they’d come here. So the only form of communication, supposedly from the outside world, came from cult-owned radio stations. The TV didn’t show anything other than cult broadcasts, phones didn’t work, the internet didn’t work… really, no one had any idea about what was going on outside of Hope Valley. And the clown in the Oval Office might be an idiot but Aaron didn’t think everyone was that stupid and hadn’t some of the Joint Chiefs already said they’d disobey if given that kind of order?

All in all, Aaron was convinced that if he opened the doors of the bunker, he wasn’t going to find the world in a state of devastation. Of course, if he was wrong, he’d look like an ass and probably die pretty quickly but he was willing to back his gut on this.

So, he waited. He lay in his narrow camp bed and waited, listening to Joseph stumble to his own bed and fall onto it. He waited then for another twenty minutes then he got up. He knew where Joseph had stashed his weapons and it was the work of a moment to smash open the lock and get them out. He then made his way to the exit and stared at the doors. He squared his shoulders and drew in a deep breath then unlocked them and pushed them open.

He squinted as bright sunlight flooded in and blinded him momentarily, before climbing out of the bunker and looking around, shaking his head with wry amusement. Not only was he right, their sense of time had gotten completely out of whack down there. The sun was high in the sky and around him was green grass, trees and plenty of life. Not a single sign of nuclear holocaust.

He snorted and turned back to the bunker. There were a lot of things he should do right now but the first thing was to make sure Joseph Seed couldn’t cause any more trouble. He swung the doors to the bunker closed and after a quick search, found a thick, solid branch that he shoved through the handles as a makeshift lock until he could find a better solution.

Only then did he dig out his radio. “Sheriff Whitehorse? Anyone else? This is Deputy Aaron Cartwright. Is anyone there?”

For a moment, there was only the quiet hiss of radio static then he heard the Sheriff’s amazed voice. “Rook? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me, boss,” Aaron said with a sigh as he leaned against a tree.

“Where the hell are you, Rook?”

“Near Dutch’s bunker.” He hesitated for a moment. “He… he’s dead.”

“God damn,” the Sheriff said with open regret. “And Joseph Seed?”

“Trapped in the bunker,” Aaron replied.

“Come up to Fall’s End, Rook,” the Sheriff said. “We relocated there. The National Guard arrived a couple of weeks ago. I’ll tell ‘em to keep an eye out for you.”

“Yes, sir.”

Aaron tucked his radio away and started jogging along the track. It seemed like a different time since the first time he’d done this and he supposed in a way that was true. Last time, he’d been a little lost, a lot worried and feeling hellaciously out of his depth but still willing to do what he could to un-fuck the situation, as Dutch had put it. Now, he just wanted a beer and some sanity… or as much sanity as the normal residents of Hope Valley could provide.

He hadn’t been on the road that long when a National Guard truck pulled up alongside him and a fresh-faced young guardsman jumped out and ushered him into the truck. Not long after that, they pulled into Fall’s End and as Aaron climbed out of the truck, the Sheriff walked out of the bar.

“Damn, Rook, you’re a sight for sore eyes,” the Sheriff said, gripped his shoulders tightly and smiling. “We had no idea where you and Seed had disappeared to and we feared the worst.”

“What happened?” Aaron asked. “And how long have I been missing?”

“Three weeks on the last. As for the rest…” The Sheriff gave him a nudge in the direction of the bar. “Head inside and get yourself a beer, kid. I’ve just got to sort out a couple of things then I’ll come in and we’ll talk.”

Aaron assumed at least one of those things included Joseph Seed and he was happy to leave that to the Sheriff. He did shake his head at the three weeks though. He could have sworn it had been five but then down in the bunker there had been really no way of accurately telling the passage of time and he suspected Joseph had been fucking with him more than just a little. He pushed open the door of the bar and walked in to find the Pastor there, along with Mary May. They both beamed at him as did Hudson and Pratt when they came down from upstairs.

“Hot damn, Deputy,” Mary May said. “We thought you’d gone and got yourself killed by Joseph when we didn’t hear anything from you.” She pushed a beer towards him. “On the house, Dep. We got new supplies in last week.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said wearily, accepting the clap on the shoulder from the Pastor. He grabbed his beer then Hudson and Pratt lead him over to one of the tables and had him sit down. They joined him but no one said anything until the Sheriff returned.

“Now, Rook,” the Sheriff said. “What happened from your point of view? From the moment Joseph stepped out of the church.”

Aaron took a long swallow of beer then he wrapped his hands around the bottle and stared down at it as he began. “He started talking about the end of the world and blah, blah, blah. Then he said that since I killed his family, he’d take mine. I turned around to find all the friends I’d made here high on the Bliss and holding the three of you at gunpoint. He then told me to choose what to do – basically arrest him or take you guys and leave. I indicated I intended to arrest him. He then tipped over a couple of vats of Bliss and that’s when things got screwed up.”

The Sheriff nodded but Aaron couldn’t tell what he thought from his expression. “Go on.”

“There was a fight,” Aaron said. “I got everyone back on my side and… we all subdued Joseph. Then… then a nuclear bomb went off. You got us all in the truck and Dutch told us to head to his bunker. There were more explosions, three, maybe four and it was like the end of the world. We got to Dutch’s bunker but crashed into a falling tree. You were all dead but Joseph was fine. He dragged me out of the truck and down into the bunker. I passed out and when I came to, I was handcuffed to one of the beds. Joseph went on and on about how he was right and then…” He sighed. “We… settled in. I basically tried to play along until I could get away.”

“You knew it was a Bliss dream?” the Sheriff asked.

Aaron shrugged. “Not specifically but it had occurred to me that it was all a bit over the top for a small valley in Montana that had been essentially cut off from the rest of the world. And it just suited Joseph so much. He’d predicted the end of the world and lo and behold, the world ended. That and I don’t recall Bliss wearing off that quickly.” He smiled wryly. “I figured if I was wrong, I probably wouldn’t have too long to regret it.”

The Sheriff chuckled. “That’s a point. Okay, let me tell you what happened. We all joined you to go get Joseph but there was Bliss everywhere. What you saw and heard at first tallies pretty close to what I saw and heard but Hudson and Pratt saw different things, as did most of the others. Then Seed really got us with that Bliss spill. We mostly just saw boogeymen and bad dreams, though a couple saw nuclear holocaust as well. Turns out those radio broadcasts were by a station owned by the cult being used to isolate people more by makin’ them afraid. Thankfully no one was badly hurt. Tammy and Tracey brought the Cougars and the Whitetail militia in when she couldn’t raise any of us and they got us out. Brought us here and looked after us until they could drag us all out of the Bliss. That was when we realised you weren’t with us. You had us worried, Rook.”

“Your friends have been damn worried too,” Hudson said with a small smile. “And the wife of that Nick Rye fellow has been threatening mayhem and murder if we didn’t find her daughter’s godfather.”

Aaron managed a weary laugh. “Yeah, she’s… small and scary.”

The Sheriff chuckled and got to his feet. “And she wanted you there whenever we found you. Hudson, drive him out to the Rye place and get him settled in. Deputy Cartwright, you are officially on leave for three days. Get some rest, let the Ryes fuss over you and then we’ll talk about what’s going on now the valley’s settled a bit.”

Aaron nodded and let Hudson nudge him out and into a truck. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, though he couldn’t seem to keep his hands still.

“Sheriff’s been damn worried about you,” Hudson said after a few minutes. “We all have. None of us would have gotten out of this without you and we had no idea what that bastard was doing to you.”

“Preachin’ at me mostly,” Aaron said around a yawn. “Fuck but it was boring pretending to believe him.”

Hudson snorted with amusement. “So that’s what you did.”

Aaron nodded. “Yep. I think he’s gone even more crazy.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

Aaron turned his head a little. “What’s been going on here?”

“Well, after we all came to, the Sheriff headed to Missoula and called in the National Guard,” Hudson replied. “He left Pratt and me here to sort things out and when he got back with the Guard, he set them to patrolling the roads until we can round up whatever’s left of the Peggies. We closed down the radio station but it’s been reopened by some guy named Wheaty who was with the Whitetails. He and his people are broadcasting real news and some pretty decent music.” She glanced over at him. “The Sheriff needs to get back home though in order to coordinate things and… well, Pratt needs help. He’ll even admit that if you catch him at the right time. And I… I just want to get out of this hell hole.” She paused again. “I think he wants you to stay. He’s been talking to people here and they like the idea of a… Sheriff’s outpost or something in the valley.”

“They’ve never been ones for law enforcement in the past,” Aaron said quietly.

Hudson snorted. “And look where that got them. Besides, I think they still wouldn’t be too enthused if it was anyone other than you that the Sheriff was suggesting. These people like you.”

“The Sheriff know you’re telling me this?”

Hudson laughed. “Yeah, he does. He wanted me to float the idea with you so you’ve got time to think about it and also so you didn’t get blindsided by one of the locals, ‘cause I figure they’re going to be lining up to chat once the word gets out we’ve found you.”

They’d arrived at the Rye’s home and airfield by then and Nick had emerged, gun in hand and a wary look on his face that transformed into a wide, welcoming grin when he saw Aaron.

“Well, I’ll be damned! Deputy!” He turned and bellowed, “KIM! KIM! They found the Deputy!”

“Well, get him in here!” came the shouted reply from inside, closely followed by the sound of a baby’s yell.

Hudson was laughing quietly and she gave him a gentle shove. “You heard the woman, Rook. Get in there.”

Not that Aaron had much choice when Nick threw an arm over his shoulders and drew him inside, talking a mile a minute, mostly about nonsense. Once he was inside, Kim took over and Aaron felt like he’d been caught up in a whirlwind. A friendly, joyous whirlwind that saw him showered, in clean clothes, fed and watered and then ushered into their guest bedroom.

“You get some sleep now, Aaron,” Kim said. “You look just about dead on your feet.”

Aaron nodded then caught one of Kim’s hands. “Thanks.”

Kim smiled then leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “We’re the ones who should be thanking you. We’re safe now because of you. Now get some sleep.”

Aaron watched her go and closed the door behind her. He stripped down to his underwear then crawled into the soft, lovely bed. He was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow.

*****

Aaron had pretty much slept for most of his first two days of leave and when he got up on the third day, he found the house full of some very familiar faces. Even Boomer was inside, being made a fuss of by Jess, and he could hear Peaches yowling outside along with Cheeseburger rumbling and grumbling. He leaned in the doorway and just started laughing softly.

“Hey, Dep,” Nick said when he caught sight of him. He was pretending to look annoyed at all the people in his house but he wasn’t fooling anyone. Kim looked delighted and was proudly showing off their baby who was apparently happy to be held by anyone who wanted to. “We got inundated.”

“So I see.”

He was caught up in various greetings from the others and it took a while before he could sit down on the couch with Boomer resting his head on his knee. He scratched the dog’s ears and chuckled as Boomer yipped with happiness and drooled on his leg a bit.

“So what’s been happening?” he finally asked.

“Damn Peggies are on the run,” Adelaide said with smug satisfaction and the others nodded.

“With Joseph gone, they’re pretty much rudderless,” Grace added. “And disillusioned, some of ‘em. Didn’t much like that their leader up and ran off without them.”

“And without the other Seeds, there was no one to keep ‘em under control,” Nick said. “Some of the Lieutenants have been trying to maintain some sort of control though and it’s working better with some than others.”

“There’s still work to do,” Jess said, her face set and firm.

“Has the Sheriff told you what he’s planning?” Tammy asked from where she was leaning against the wall.

“Hudson mentioned it,” Aaron replied. “It’s got some support from what she said.”

“It has,” Tammy replied. “Even Wheaty’s all for it.” She smiled slightly and Aaron gave a sigh of relief. Wheaty had been harder and more suspicious since Eli’s death but maybe he’d been forgiven a little now. “You were here for us. You saved us. And you maybe understand this place now a bit better than most.”

“That’s if you want the job, dude,” Sharky said. “Don’t let the Man railroad you, Dep. That ain’t cool.”

Aaron laughed. “I kind of like the idea. I’m not sure people outside here would…” He trailed off, not entirely sure he knew what he wanted to say but the others started nodding.

“They wouldn’t understand why you did what you did,” Tracey said. “But we do. We lived with all this shit. We knew how bad it was and why ordinary measures wouldn’t work.”

“I’m still a Deputy Sheriff, you know,” Aaron said with a wry smile. “And at some point, the law has to prevail.”

“Yeah, but you’re cool though,” Hurk said. “Bet if you arrested me for being, you know, drunk in a public place or whatever, you wouldn’t make me sleep outside or nothing.”

Aaron chuckled. “No, Hurk, that’s what the cells are for. You sleep it off, I give you a lecture in the morning and send you home.”

“Aw, man,” Hurk said, looking crestfallen. “You sure I couldn’t stay for a day or two? Daddy gets real mad when I’ve been drinking.”

“Yeah, sure. Okay,” Aaron said, unable to conceal his grin.

Hurk lit up. “Yeah! Alright, man. See, I said you was cool and you are.”

Adelaide laughed and shook her head. “I’d suggest you don’t encourage him but… at least you keep him under some sort of control.”

“Aw, Mama,” Hurk said bashfully.

Adelaide rolled her eyes then fixed her gaze on Aaron. “So what happened, Deputy? We were all heading for Joseph’s compound to help you out then the next thing we know, we’re waking up from the damn Bliss.”

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure,” Aaron said. “I know what I perceived and I know what Joseph believed but what actually happened beyond going there to arrest him… I don’t know.”

“What you perceived?” Tammy asked. “What? You mean, like what Jacob did?”

Aaron shook his head. “No, this was the Bliss. I think maybe people become very suggestible under the effects of the Bliss.”

“Makes sense, man,” Sharky said. “Those flowers they were fucking around with are full of scopolamine.” When everyone stared at him with surprise, he glared at them. “I ain’t stupid, man. Those flowers are some weird form of Angel’s Trumpets. They’re full of scopolamine and other shit that can cause auditory and visual hallucinations among other things that suck. And god knows what those fucking Peggies had been doing to them once they started processing them to make the Bliss.”

“Add the Bliss to the fact that Hope County had been effectively cut off from the world and the cult owned all the radio stations and…” Aaron shrugged. “It’s easy to see how Joseph could have manipulated things into an end of the world scenario. That’s what I saw. Nuclear holocaust.”

“Damn, man,” Nick said quietly. “How’d you know it was fake?”

“Because it was overkill,” Aaron replied. “I don’t know whether Joseph was feeding me ideas or whether my mind did it to try and poke at me but… there were three or four bombs that went off… in a small insignificant county in the middle of Montana. Then everything was on fire, all the trees, even the animals, yet we were in a car, driving along and not feeling any of that heat, let alone being touched by it. I mean, for a start, if it was that hot, the tires should have been melting. Then somehow we had an accident that killed the Sheriff, Hudson and Pratt and yet left Joseph and me practically untouched. Then despite being exposed to radiation from the three or four bombs that had gone off, Joseph and I showed no signs of radiation sickness, which we should have started seeing within hours. Once everything calmed down and I had time to think… there were just too many inconsistencies. It made no sense.”

Tammy chuckled. “You mean Joseph couldn’t just have the end of the world, he had to have the biggest, most extravagant end of the world there possibly could be?”

“If he was whispering in my ear and influencing what I was seeing, then yep, so it seems,” Aaron said with a wry smile.

“What happened to him?” Tracey said with a glint in her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure the National Guard have dragged him out of Dutch’s bunker and have him in custody by now,” Aaron replied. “Mind you, I think he’s gone off the deep end as well so he may never make it to a court room except to be declared legally insane before being shipped off to a hospital.”

“He deserves more than that,” Tracey growled.

“Naw, this is good,” Nick said. “He’s going to be declared officially nuts and be locked up. He ain’t coming back and even if he did, his family’s dead. Kim’s spoken to a lawyer and they reckon that under the circumstances, it shouldn’t be too difficult to revert all the property the Seeds bought up back to the original owners now that there’s no one who officially owns it.” He grinned. “And I reckon the gov’ment won’t argue too much, given they did shit to help us.”

“We should even be able to spruce up a building to act as a police station,” Grace said, flicking a brief grin at Aaron.

“You’re all assuming I’m going to say yes,” Aaron said dryly.

“Well, ain’t ya?” Sharky exclaimed incredulously. “I mean, who’s going to look after Boomer and Peaches and ol’ Cheeseburger if you go?”

Boomer whined pathetically and gave Aaron an impressive set of puppy eyes and outside he heard Peaches yowl and Cheeseburger roar as though they’d heard and understood what Sharky said. He shook his head and laughed at all of them.

“Well, we can’t have them being abandoned,” he said with a smile.

“Hell, yeah,” Sharky yelled, pumping his fist with triumph.

“Stop that,” Kim said, smacking Sharky on the arm. “Don’t you let these idiots push you into something you don’t want to do, Deputy.”

Aaron chuckled. “It’s okay. I was pretty well convinced after Hudson spoke to me.”

“Awesome,” Nick said, his grin wide and happy. “Our daughter needs her godfather around.”

Aaron leaned back on the couch and just smiled. It wasn’t going to be easy cleaning up this mess but it’d be worth it to make sure these people would be looked after.

#far cry 5 #far cry #fc5 #fic #writing #just my own personal indulgence

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madventurousblog · 4 years

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Hi, All!

The blog is (maybe?!) back - for at least this one update, maybe more. I don’t really know who will be interested in checking up, but hey, we’re here. I’ve got time.

You might think it’s strange to begin blabbing on my blog again after a two year hiatus in the midst of a pandemic where we’re supposed to be sitting at home doing nothing, but unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) we’re NOT doing nothing. We’re going on a road trip!

Now listen, I’m not actually that excited about this. I wish I was. Or rather, I wish I could be. At the moment, Australia is like most other places in the world practicing social distancing, limiting travel, closing non-essential shops, etc. However, hip-hip for the Land Down Under because they flattened the curve a couple weeks ago and overall kept numbers relatively low. Yay!

Although things feel generally under control here, and there’s finally normal quantities of toilet paper on the shelves again, Viv and I are now both out of work and therefore have no income to pay for our $240/week rent. (Yes, that’s per week, which is how Aussies and Kiwis like to roll.) A decision had to be made, and it wasn’t easy.

Just three months ago we literally packed up our lives and took a road trip out west to this beautiful place called Margaret River. It was me who pushed for it, having heard lore from friends and strangers alike about how beautiful the area was, how hip and progressive and fun. It didn’t let us down, and we’ve made lists and plans of the things we’d like to accomplish here. This included the Cape to Cape walk: a six-day backpacking trip that was destined to be Viv’s first ever carry-all-the-shit-you-need-on-your-back-overnight type of camping. The summer camp trip leader in me is DYING not to have accomplished this. But I digress.

Interjection: I’m on what they call a “Second Year Visa” here in Australia. I did enough rural work on my First Year Visa to qualify for a second one, which is how I’ve been able to bum around here for so long. Just in case you were wondering.

Back to the story: like most people in the world, our plans came to a screeching halt with the virus. We had to choose between staying here and potentially burning through all our savings only to have to head home to Viv’s family anyway, or simply go home now with some savings to hold us over when we came out on the other side.

We’d been leaning towards going home for a good few weeks. What made matters harder was an offer I received from a local business owner who I got to know recently. She and her husband run an auto shop in town, and she suggested that we could move onto her property with her family, rent-free, in exchange for keeping up her garden and tending her to her chickens. Amazing, right?! Absolutely stunning offer, and we debated the idea for several days. (Thank you a million times, Heather!)

But in the end, we both decided it’s wisest to stay on the path to the farm, especially knowing her family has been preparing for our arrival and (we assume) are excited for us to be back home.

“Home.” It’s a funny concept for this American-gone-rogue. I’ve found home in several parts of the world now, and in several communities in each of those parts. I’m disappointed - and I know I’m not alone in this - that Margaret River is no longer going to be home, after planning and hoping and willing it into being. But I take a strange solace in knowing that this disappointment is being felt worldwide, that we are all feeling this frustrating setback, like something has been stolen from us. And my disappointment is probably a lot less than the disappointment some other people are facing right now, or the terror, or the injustice. Perspective is important.

But we are intrepid, so we’re slowly preparing ourselves to leave town and quite literally take the roads that lead us here in the reverse direction. My new-old car has had repairs, Viv’s ute (or “truck” for us Americans) has gone in for new tires (or “tyres” for us Australians), and we’ll be packing up our things in the next few days leading up to our departure.

As for taking a road trip through pandemic-stricken lands and attempting to cross alleged closed state borders, I’ve done my research. Though borders are closed to non-essential personnel and aimless travelers, we fall under the category of essential travel/compassionate grounds by needing to return home. I’ve called the borders to ensure we’ll be allowed through, and the very friendly patrols have told me that police are assisting at the border and will give direction or permits to people passing through. We’ll be allowed to stop for food, fuel, and sleep, but are otherwise instructed to take the most direct route to our destination, and of course to quarantine ourselves for two weeks upon arrival.

Our plan spans six days to cross more than 3500 kilometres, which includes the famous Nullarbor Plain, a LOT of desert, and three state borders. We will leave shortly after my 29th birthday (which, by the way, holy shit), and that will be that! Or, “it is what it is.” Or something.

Catch ya on the other side, sickos.

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scripturehomosexuality · 7 years

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Addendum To Aaron Hernandez Story

This post is intended as a followup to the post “Aaron Hernandez: A Case Study About What’s Wrong With Modern Society”, which was originally published on May 7th 2017. As such, a link to the content here will be added to that post as a post scriptum.

To understand what will follow, I strongly recommend that you read the abovementioned post first.

There have been many developments on the Aaron Hernandez story. As such, they confirm the blog’s main assertions:

The story of Mr. Hernandez poses a big risk to modern sexual philosophy and the “Straight”-”Gay” dichotomy, and threatens to completely collapse both

Numerous authorities within the dichotomy (“gay” and “straight” media, LGBT leadership, etc) are well aware of the first bullet point, and as such are trying to bury the story

Firstly, after the first Outsports article on Aaron Hernandez, all media did as the article asked, and basically stopped discussion on the matter. In doing so, they were expecting (and subtly ordering) their audiences to do the same.

This is a prime example of how modern sexual philosophy works to defend itself, and how a society facilitates that defense mechanism. In this case, the strategy went as follows:

”Gay” leadership and media signal that they don’t want to discuss the case

Within the dichotomy, the “gay” side is given total authority over discussion on same-sex activity. Thus, if the “gay” side doesn’t want to discuss it, the “straight” side has no reason to discuss it either. Thus, the Outsports article was used as a pretext to decrease coverage on the “straight” side.

Both sides keep completely mum on the case, and as a result, it’s kept somewhat in the dark

Similar strategies were used with the “g0y” movement and Man2Man Alliance, where the “gay” media castigated and ignored them, and the “straight” media followed their lead in not covering them. In this way, anything that threatens the status quo is neutralized.

Let me be clear, and you probably realize the following too: for a media that thrives on speculation, this is highly unusual. Both “gay” and “straight” media usually feast on speculation on whether some celebrity is “gay”. Yet, when so much suggests that Aaron Hernandez was into guys too, they leave all forward movement on the case to the family. In doing so, they claim that it’s out of sensitivity for the family, but that’s only a front. They’ve been far less merciful with celebrities like Cristiano Ronaldo and Aaron Rodgers, who also have families.

The real reason is that, if the Aaron Hernandez case is explored enough, it would soon become evident that modern sexual philosophy is COMPLETELY WRONG. It would completely destroy a philosophy that so much of U.S. society hinges on. It would turn U.S. society upside-down in a way they don’t want.

As such, I hope my LGBT-identified readers are taking note of their leadership and media. They only care for sexual behavior that supports the fundamental message of modern sexual philosophy - that same-sex eroticism is inherently abnormal and aberrant. If the behavior doesn’t do that, the LGBT movement wants nothing to do with it.

Yet, their efforts have only been moderately successful so far. Public interest in the story is still so high, the media has had no choice but to report trickles of it, and acknowledge developments in the story.

For example, Shayanna Jenkins-Hernandez (Mr. Hernandez’ fiancee) did an interview on “Dr. Phil” during May 2017. During that interview, she flatly denied all rumors that he was “gay”, and said further that he was “very much a man”. It was revealed that she first became aware of the rumors during Mr. Hernandez’ trial, when his defense team let her know. She also revealed that Mr. Hernandez and herself spoke about the topic several times, and each time, he completely denied he was “gay”.

First of all, I wish to say that Mr. Hernandez was telling the truth. Remember what was said here about the word “gay” - that it’s a word that marries same-sex activity with a “gay” culture of anal play, drag, and gender-atypical behavior. Meanwhile, while it’s likely that Mr. Hernandez was bisexual in his behavior, it’s very clear that he also roundly rejected the LGBT identity. Given the complicated meaning the word “gay” has, he was perfectly justified in saying that he wasn’t “gay”.

However, there was also something conspicuously absent from the interview. It was something that would put all gossip to bed - the suicide letters. Where were the suicide letters? To prove her point, why didn’t Ms. Jenkins-Hernandez cite them as proof that he wasn’t “gay”? Especially since they’re now in her possession in their unredacted form, and since she has most likely read them by now? Those suicide letters were testimony from the man himself on who he was, yet during such a key moment, they’re nowhere in sight.

There’s only one reason why they were absent: they would somewhat undermine the statements of Ms. Jenkins-Hernandez, and she knows that. Don’t be fooled. It’s true that he wasn’t “gay”. However, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t sexually interact with other guys. Indeed, the sports world contains a highly homoerotic culture, where its players can eroticially interact with each other without any “gay” spectre. From all appearances, Mr. Hernandez immersed himself completely within that culture, and enjoyed it immensely.

Thus, and to the contrary, their unignorable absence actually confirms a conclusion made in the first post: the most problematic aspect of those letters are their content. Furthermore, it also confirms that such content is definitely homoerotic in nature, and would make clear that he sexually interacted with other guys. That’s the only way those suicide notes, the biggest “smoking guns” that would end all speculation at once, are absent when they’re most valuable.

In this, I don’t fault Ms. Jenkins-Hernandez. Modern sexual philosophy works to preserve itself, and will sacrifice anything to do so. Meanwhile, the Hernandez family is doing everything to save Mr. Hernandez from being painted as “gay”, or even having that suggested about him. Certain parties would use them as justification for calling him that, even if closer inspection would reveal a more nuanced story. Thus, I understand why they might still be sheepish about revealing the letters.

Other developments in the month of May further confirm this blog’s conclusions. To pacify public interest in the case, the Boston Globe filed a FOIL (Freedom of Information Law) request for other prison correspondence from Mr. Hernandez. Those letters were then circulated across the media world, and are available for your viewing in this link.

As a side note, the Globe could do this because all of Mr. Hernandez’ correspondence is now public record, including the suicide notes. This is because they are currently being held by local authorities, and by virtue of that, they now belong to the public. Any news organization can obtain them at any time through a FOIL request. Thus, the relative silence on the story isn’t for lack of resources; it’s because they don’t want to do the work. As said before, the coverage blackout is being done on purpose. But I digress.

Anyway, the letters reveal that Mr. Hernandez had very friendly relationships with his other cellmates. The first four contain Mr. Hernandez repeatedly asking (and at one point pleading) to be placed in a certain cell block. That cell block contained men that he knew previously, and at least one man who he considered a “brother” and his “heart”. The last letter in the link attached has Mr. Hernandez addressing “false gossip” that was circulating around the prison, while making the same request to be placed in that certain cell block.

In the letters, there are several redactions made. All of the names mentioned are redacted, which admittedly is common practice, and is firmly within the bounds of FOIL law in general. However, there is one redaction made which, in my opinion, is a little odd. The last letter listed contained the following sentences, as Mr. Hernandez is addressing false gossip: “I have been hearing from many or rather few thinking that I’m ‘[redacted]’. But that is false. People are always coming up with things that are incorrect.”

Given the developments of the past few weeks, and the immediate context of the other attached letters, the redacted word is most likely the word “gay”.

At this point, I’m wondering on what legal grounds this redaction was done. From what I can tell, the closest exception that would qualify would be on grounds of privacy. According to the Massachusetts FOIL law, certain personal details can be redacted “which may constitute an unwarranted invasion of personal privacy”. As such, the decision to redact “requires a balancing between the seriousness of any invasion of privacy and the public right to know”. As such, in practice enforcement leans toward non-disclosure.

However, I can’t see how disclosure of the described action - dismissing “gay” rumors - necessarily counts as an invasion of privacy. Within the context of the letter, it only confirms what we already know about Mr. Hernandez, and the rumors that consistently dogged him. The fact that a person is fighting “gay” rumors usually isn’t state secret.

In the end, I don’t know exactly which party influenced that particular redaction. All I know is that it was effective in further obscuring the Hernandez story. Within the letter that redacted word didn’t reveal much. However, in combination with the other released letters, along with the likely content of the unreleased suicide letters, it reveals so much more. All of that correspondence reveals a man who was shamelessly close to men - to the point of calling another man his “heart” - yet flatly denies identifying as “gay” or LGBT. From this, two conclusions present themselves that subvert modern sexual philosophy:

Same-sex activity and the LGBT identity and culture are not (and need not be) intrinsically linked

Same-sex activity is not an exclusively “gay” phenomenon

There’s one more factor to consider. Remember that Mr. Hernandez was one of the top football players in the NFL. This is very important because in U.S. culture, male athletes are considered the greatest fulfillments of masculinity. If these “alpha males” are revealed to be constantly having sex with other men (and each other), it completely undermines the fundamental message of modern sexual philosophy: that same-sex activity is inherently abnormal and aberrant.

As such, if the redacted word was released, I hardly think Mr. Hernandez’ privacy would be harmed. It would be much more harmful to modern sexual philosophy, the parties that rely on it for power, and the various social infrastructures that depend on it.

If this seems confusing to you, keep in mind that many parties directly depend on the “Straight”-”Gay” dichotomy (the highest fulfillment of modern sexual philosophy) for their power, including:

The Christian churches and their clergy, whose condemnation of homosexuality depends on most parishioners believing that they are truly “straight”.

Ex-”gay” ministries, for obvious reasons

Politicians who receive support from the clergy and devout Christian populations.

Various companies benefiting from messages that being “straight” (and thus being gender-conforming) requires purchase of certain commercial goods.

The “gay” leadership, whose authority depends on the idea that people attracted to the same sex are a small and easily identifiable minority, who need their guidance and supervision to survive.

Politicians who receive support from the “gay” leadership

Condom and lube manufacturers, whose bottom line is helped by the cultural practice of anal play

The medical-industrial complex, who sell drugs treating injuries and diseases caused by anal play

The parties involved constitute huge parts of U.S. society, which is why both “straight” and “gay” media are distinctly uninterested in covering the story. The story destabilizes modern sexual philosophy, and by extension, destabilizes their power and salaries.

Indeed, even with the relatively few developments in the case, the “straight” media is trying to keep itself far away from it. Meanwhile, following the edict of the Outsports article, the “gay” press has been almost silent on the matter. The only item they covered in the last month was the Dr. Phil interview, to convince people that there’s nothing to see here.

However, even with all this posturing and scrambling, they’re actually worse off than they were before. It seems Mr. Hernandez’ friends and family are less willing to cooperate with the coverup. On May 24th, Jonathan Hernandez (Aaron’s older brother) released a cryptic statement saying he wanted to reveal “Aaron’s truth”, to counter “many stories about my brother's life [that] have been shared with the public”. Furthermore, Kyle Kennedy (Mr. Hernandez’ supposed male lover in prison) hasn’t retracted his determination to reveal his side of the story. To that end, in May he renewed his demand that authorities give him the suicide note that was reportedly meant for him.

It’s clear that “the powers that be” of the dichotomy are in deep trouble. The Hernandez story is difficult, if not impossible, to frame in a way that supports modern sexual philosophy. Every move the media makes shows that they’re trying to hide something, and seems to arouse more interest in the story. More of Mr. Hernandez’ loved ones seem willing to blab.

Sooner or later, the dichotomy (and the philosophy it represents) will have to be revealed as a fraud, and completely untrue. At this point, it’s not a question of “if”, but “when”.

What’s unknown is what will happen after that. The outcome could go one of two ways.

After it is revealed to be a fraud, modern sexual philosophy is thrown out completely. U.S. society is turned completely upside down, as a more accurate way to describe sexuality is sought. This is the outcome I personally want.

After it is revealed to be a fraud, enforcement of modern sexual philosophy is made even more stringent. In sheer defiance, its authorities will insist upon people adhering to the dichotomy it produces, and will double down on enforcing its rules and labels.

Remember that for all its rigor, the dichotomy is still a rather informal system. There’s no law requiring people to identify as “straight”, “gay”, “queer”, etc. There’s no secular law requiring people to believe same-sex activity is inherently abnormal. It has power only because so many people believe it to be true. This is why so many societal institutions (like the U.S. education system) are designed to sustain that belief.

However, moves have been made to institutionalize modern sexual philosophy in recent years. Increasingly more college campuses are asking their students which labels they identify with. More governmental agencies are making tallies on how many people identify with which label. This is despite the fact that these labels are under increasing scrutiny by more parties. It should be noted however that such questions are still optional.

When modern sexual philosophy is revealed to be false, such efforts might only intensify in response. Adopting one of its sexual labels might become a mandatory feature of more surveys, but that might not be all. The principles of modern sexual philosophy might become codified in law, and its sexual labels might become as necessary as Social Security identification numbers. As a result, a person will be unable to socially function if they do not believe in modern sexual philosophy, and do not give it support by adopting the labels of its dichotomy. If that seems too totalitarian to be believable, remember that something like the Patriot Act was also once considered unimaginable.

Of course, if the majority don’t believe in it, even that scenario will be impossible.

Thus, if you’re here for the first time, know that there’s nothing tying you to modern sexual philosophy that’s unbreakable. Thus, I urge you to read “The ‘Straight’-’Gay’ Dichotomy: How It Works”, to fully understand how that system functions. I also urge any who read this to go to “For Straight People (though not exclusively)”, which will point to philosophies and forms of same-sex behavior that don’t hinge on demonstratively false concepts. Also read the page “History of the Concept of Homosexuality”, to see how this concept evolved into its modern day meaning. Don’t be afraid of talking about what you learn to others, because that’s the only way progress will be made. Thus, the fissure created by Mr. Hernandez can further grow.

There’s another move you can make that’s important: don’t stop following the Aaron Hernandez story. Don’t be fooled by the “gay” and “straight” press, with their insinuations that there’s nothing to see here. There IS something here, but they just don’t want you to see it, to preserve their own power. Insist on more coverage and analysis. Double down on asking more questions. They can only hide so much, and run so far.

As a last note, I hope that my LGBT-identified readers are noticing how LGBT media and leadership is treating them. There’s no other way to put it: you are being flimflammed and bamboozled by your own media. Your intelligence is being insulted by those who are supposed to be your advocates. They’ve made perfectly clear that they don’t support same-sex activity in all its forms, but only the kinds that support the homophobic message of modern sexual philosophy. This is my question to you - if they are so willing to lie to your face, do they really deserve your unquestioning support?

Make no mistake; this story is far from over. For your own good, stay tuned.

#Aaron Hernandez #straight #gay #lgbt #Bros being bros #Gay Christian #gay christianity #lgbt christian #lgbt christianity #bisexuality #Bisexual #bisexual pride

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 7 years

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Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters

There are many things to talk about in 12x14, so of course I’m choosing to start from the things that were not in the episode, namely Cas and Crowley, as you do. I’m kidding, this is actually about the Alpha vampire and the British Men of Letters. And Cas and Crowley. And everyone else.

Something that got my attention about 12x14 was the season 7 feels. Actually, all of season 12 hasn’t been scarce in its season 7 callbacks and references, especially in regards to Cas, but The Raid in particular had some interesting bits. @charlie-minion in this post has pointed out the parallel between Dean’s softened attitude towards Mary at the end of the episode with Dean’s attitude towards Cas in 7x01 when his body starts to drastically fail under the pressure of the Leviathan. Several people have also pointed out the parallel between Dean’s conversation with Jo in 7x04 (Hunters are never kids. I never was) and Dean’s line I never was when Mary tells him he’s not a child. And of course there was the Alpha vampire, whom we’d last seen in 7x22.

Now: why bringing back the Alpha vampire? Well, other than plot reasons (someone they’d need to use the Colt to kill) and extradiegetic reasons (the dangling thread of the Alpha vampire’s promise to “see you”), I think there are other subtextual/structural reasons. Partly related to the character’s role ins season 6 (the parallels between Samuel, Crowley, Cas, Mary, the British Men of Letters...) and partly, I suspect, related to the Alpha vampire’s role in the final portion of season 7.

My question is: can we see the British Men of Letters as a Leviathan parallel, and the process of taking the BMoL down as a parallel to the spell to send the Leviathan back to Purgatory?

The British Men of Letters don’t really seem to have much in common with the Leviathan in terms of goals and motivations, but if we look closely there are some things they kind of have in common. The professionalism in their organization, for instance; the Leviathan were different from regular monsters because they organized as a corporation, the BMoL are different than hunters because of their organization as some kind of corporation, too. There are some kind of territorial issues regarding the United States; the Leviathan’s plans were to subdue the human population of the United States (the demons could have Canada) and once the US were done, they could extend to other countries, the BMoL’s current plans are to eliminate monsters from the territory of the United States, and I guess that their intention is to do the same with other countries with “monster problems”.

There are also things that ping my radar like the fact that the tablets arc started in regards of the Leviathan, and Metatron was introduced, although only mentioned, in 7x21, and now the BMoL seem to have assumed the “meta” role of Metatron in the narrative, their reports and communications thus working as an equivalent of the tablets.

Speaking of the tablets - the Alpha vampire’s role in 7x22 is exactly connected to the instructions on the Leviathan tablet. 7x21 Reading Is Fundamental, 7x22 There Will Be Blood and 7x23 Survival Of The Fittest all feature the research for the way to get rid of the Leviathan; in 7x21, Kevin translates the Leviathan tablet:

Cut off the head, and the body will founder. Waste not thy time nor your breath upon the Leviathan herd. Point thy blade at the heart of their master, for from him springs all their messages. Leviathan cannot be slain but by a bone of a righteous mortal, as light and good as the Leviathan are hungry and dark, washed in the three blood of the fallen: a fallen angel, the ruler of the fallen humanity, and a father of fallen beasts.

One of the most interesting characteristics of the Leviathan is that the Leviathan - despite being referred to as a “they” as plural - is an actually one monster composed of different parts. That’s why hitting Dick Roman sent all the rest to Purgatory along with him - technically, Dick wasn’t one Leviathan among others, but he was the head, the most important part of the Leviathan as a whole.

I am wondering if season 12 is going to frame the “old men” in charge of the British Men of Letters as some kind of narrative equivalent of Dick Roman, minus the dick jokes (Mr Ketch seems to cover the homoerotic part efficiently...).

I am also wondering whether the “seduction” Ketch is operating (relatively successfully on Mary, not on Dean) could be paralleled to the effect of the Leviathan’s corn syrup, in a way - making the hunters docile and useful to the BMoL’s ends, via manipulation instead of chemicals.

Basically, a whole “reverse Leviathan” situation, with an organization of humans trying to eliminate monsters instead of an organization of monsters trying to make humans into food, and so on - so, why not a “reverse Leviathan tablet” situation, where the creatures involved in the spell to take the Leviathan down are victims of the BMoL instead of contributing to defeat the Leviathan?

So let’s get back to the Leviathan tablet, the Alpha vampire, and the rest.

The spell inscribed on the tablet requires the bone of a righteous human coated in the blood of a fallen angel, the king of hell, and an alpha monster. The events of collecting the bloods does not really follow that order (Cas is the first - in an episode that emphasized how the angels see Cas’ relationship with Dean as something that has corrupted him... anyway. um. let’s not digress - then the Alpha vampire also gives them his blood, then it’s Crowley’s turn) but the tablet itself gives us this specific order: bone of righteous human plus blood of fallen angel, king of hell, alpha monster.

Now, let’s put the bone of sister Mary Constant aside for a moment and focus on the creatures that give their blood for the spell: Castiel, Crowley, and the Alpha Vampire.

Basically: the last time we saw the Alpha vampire he was part of a “trio” along with Crowley and Cas. What if again he’s part of a “trio” in the narrative along with Crowley and Cas? More specifically, people who’ll get in trouble because of the British Men of Letters? And maybe, that Sam/Mary/some combination of characters will have to consider killing because of the British Men of Letters?

Let’s make a “you’re living my life in reverse” mental experiment and reverse the order on the Leviathan tablet. Alpha vampire, Crowley and Castiel.

The Alpha vampire comes first. In 12x14, he shows up, to fight against the British Men of Letters. Sam, though, sides with the BMoL, and kills him.

It’s not a difficult choice for Sam. The Alpha vampire is a monster, he’s killed many people, turned many people into monsters, and now he kills people who were in the BMoL base to do their job and didn’t have blood on their own hands. Sam allies with Mick, and the Alpha vampire dies.

What if the next big choices Sam (and Mary, and Dean, and everyone) has to make regard Crowley and Cas?

I mean, it’s pretty obvious that the whole ��let’s get rid of all the monsters!!” attitude at some point will have to clash with the fact that some monsters are not evil and in fact some are family. But I expect, in particular, a progression that goes from the Alpha vampire to Crowley and Cas.

I mean, many people have been talking about this kind of issue in relation to Cas, but there also Crowley to put in the picture. Because, while Cas is seen as family by both Sam and Dean (and seemingly Mary, although of course she could rationalize eliminating Cas for the greater good) but Crowley does not possess the same status for the Winchesters. So, I can see Dean and Sam defending Cas from Mary and the rest, but can you see Dean and Sam defending Crowley?

Mary has made it clear what her perception of Crowley is - touch me and I’ll kill you - and Sam, while seemingly more chill around Crowley, does not like him any more. I can see a conflict among the Winchesters arising where Crowley is concerned. Dean, as much as he acts like he doesn’t care, does care for Crowley. It’s super complicated, it’s layered in layers of guilt and shame, but Dean has shared something with Crowley and Crowley does have a place in Dean’s virtual family table. (Maybe neither of them really realize it, definitely not Crowley, so I can see a storyline where things get clear for everyone involved.)

Sam has never tried to hide his feelings of aversion for Crowley. He’s worked with him when needed, but he’s never shared moments with Crowley except the one in the church, that was totally one-sided from Crowley’s side. Sam has acted chill towards Crowley lately because of the various circumstances they’ve been in, but Sam has never really stopped hating Crowley, hasn’t he? He’s never forgotten Crowley for the various things he blames him for (some of which definitely understandable...), including trying to steal Dean from him.

If Sam were in the circumstance of having to kill Crowley, I am sure that he would do it without really hesitating - I don’t think his feelings for Crowley have really changed since the time he used Rowena’s demon-killing instrument to try and kill him, especially if killing Crowley were presented to him as something rationally justified. Dean and Cas, on the other hand - I doubt either of them would willingly kill Crowley.

So I expect the story to go towards a place where Crowley and Cas find themselves in some sort of similar situation to the Alpha vampire - of course, in the case of the Alpha vampire the situation was completely different, because he was indeed a monster and choosing to kill him instead of letting him kill Mick was an easy decision. But if Crowley and Cas gets targeted by the British Men of Letters, if it’s decided that the Colt will have to be used against them, who will make which decision?

A reversal of “always happy to bleed for the Winchesters”, maybe? With the Winchesters sacrificing something/themselves (not necessarily lethally) for Crowley and/or Cas?

#my spn thoughts #spn spec #spn meta #british men of letters #leviathan #season 12 and season 7 #alpha vampire #crowley #cas #spn

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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Batfandom’s favorite word to use is “adopted.” And I don’t mean that in a good way, but in a ‘nah, this is actually kinda obnoxious’ way?

Like, 90% of fics and headcanons in Batfandom flat out refuse to use the words ‘father,’ ‘brother(s),’ ‘sister’ or ‘son(s),’ without the qualifier ‘adopted’ always, always, ALWAYS attached to the front of said words. Like, endlessly. Over and over. Not just once, early on, to establish the specific nature of the family relationships, but like....this sledgehammer insistence on bringing that point home. Each. And. Every. Time. A. Familial. Relationship. Is. Described. Ever.

Sorry to be cranky about it, I know people don’t mean any harm by it, and like, I’m not saying its offensive. That’s not the right word IMO, but its definitely....grating? And just to be clear, I don’t pretend I’m speaking for everyone who’s adopted or from adopted families, I’m sure plenty of people who fit that description have different takes on this than me. BUUUUT I also know for a fact that I am not the only person this bugs in a big way. I’ve had this convo over the years with a lot of other fans I know who are adopted. And its not just Batfandom either, its every fandom with central adoptive relationships, like Thor and Loki, etc. Its just especially jarring in Batfandom because there’s so many different adoptive relationships front and center, so this pops up like...EVERYWHERE.

Idk, like....I’d just ask that writers please consider WHY they feel the qualifier ‘adopted/adoptive’ is a necessary addition every time the label of father/son/brother is used in a fic. What they think it adds, what they feel it describes about the relationship that’s different from any other father/son/brother relationship. Because I do think that most people (at least those not from adopted families themselves) do it without thinking about it. It seems just like another descriptor, like its addition is just a level of specificity that’s like, slightly more accurate than JUST father/son/brother......its just. In my experience, and that of most other adopted kids/relatives of adopted kids I’ve spoken with personally....that’s not really how it works?

Its about context, is the thing. How a thing is framed. When used just initially, like when establishing the exact nature of family dynamics, sure, in that sense its an accurate descriptor that lends an additional level of specificity to family relationships. It describes how this particular family formed, how it came to be. But AFTER that’s been established....that qualifier of adopted tacked onto every family label....its no longer establishing anything further. Instead, now its just perpetuating the idea that the nature of the family relationship itself is inherently different, BECAUSE of how it was formed.

Its a subtle distinction, but its very much a real and definite distinction. When first used, ‘adopted’ describes a family origin. Used over and over, ‘adopted’ describes a family that’s somehow wholly different from non-adopted families, BECAUSE that specific family origin is seen as superseding and overlaying every other aspect of the family and its inter-dynamics. You see what I’m saying? And its that latter part that grates, because...no? That’s not....that’s not nearly the omnipresent thing that I think a lot of people seem to take for granted it is?

Again, maybe its different for other adopted families, but like.....okay. So, in my case, my mom’s technically my adopted mom, I have a different bio mom that I haven’t seen since I was ten, my older sister has the same bio parents as me and my two younger siblings are adopted with no biological relation to each other or to anyone else in our family, though unlike me and my sister were adopted at birth. For as long as my mom’s been my mom....I barely ever referred to my mom as anything other than my mom. It usually didn’t occur to me to use qualifiers when describing her, because like, she was who I saw as my mom. I mean, she’s literally my mom. That’s literally what that word adopted in front of the label ‘mother’ means. Whether you include it or not, the mother part remains true.

And in fact, describing her as my adopted mom wasn’t even like, an establishing qualifier I always included when first talking about my family to someone who didn’t know our history. It was usually more kinda....a tenth conversation kind of clarification because it was more an afterthought than anything else? Like kinda a belated realization when they looked at me confused at something I just said, like...’oh yeah, see technically my mom is my adopted mom, and when I said ‘my mom’ there just now I was actually talking about my bio mom, totally different thing. Like technically I have two, but only one really matters most of the time so its not worth mentioning to like, everyone I meet, you know?’ That sort of thing. If anything, I was more likely to use the qualifier in regards to my birth mom, the one I didn’t live with. Like I’d say, this is my mom when talking about my mom, as in my adopted mom, and I’d refer to my birth mom as just that, as my birth mom or my bio mom.

And my siblings and I tended to describe ourselves as adopted siblings more upfront, at least when introducing ourselves and our familial relationship to someone new...but that was less about us seeing us our sibling relationship as being different from non-adopted families, and more just like...a necessary avoidance of bullshit? LOL, because I mean, its kinda obvious that my siblings and I aren’t biologically related. I’m white, my little sister is Vietnamese, my little brother’s indigenous Mexican. We tended to lead with “this is my sister/brother, we’re adopted’, but mostly because like.....full offense, but people are kinda dumb? *Shrugs* If we just said ‘this is my sister and this is my brother’ and just left it at that, people would nine out of ten times like....stutter and get all squinty-eyed and confused and be all...what...how...because lol, idk, apparently its a hugely hard leap to figure out oh hey, maybe adoption is a thing here?

(And also just FYI in general, it was always just annoying because like, even if you don’t ‘get’ HOW two seemingly unrelated people can be related and all they say when introducing themselves is ‘we’re brother and sister’, like.....you’re not actually owed an in depth explanation as to omg how did this strange phenomenon come to be. And the entitlement so many people we encountered growing up, where like....they felt they were owed our life stories upon meeting us just once, simply because they Didn’t Understand and somehow this equated to But They NEEDED To Understand, because...Reasons....like, no. You don’t actually need to understand how two people are related if they don’t feel like providing you with the full context. Either take them at face value or don’t, you don’t get to be a dick and demand a full accounting of their legal and symbolic relationships just so you can like....validate this and be all okay yeah, that checks out, I’ll allow it. LOL. No? Your validation of our relationship is not required, nor is your understanding of it, get over yourselves. So just. Like. Don’t be Those Guys. If you meet people who introduce themselves as family and the exact nature of that family relationship isn’t immediately obvious or seems somewhat confusing like....just...deal? They’ll tell you more if they want you to know more, and if they don’t tell you more they probably feel you know everything you need to know and that’s literally their call to make, so....yeah).

Idk. Like, due to the age differences in our family, my little sister and I were the only ones who overlapped in attending the same schools at the same time, just different grade levels. And we used to have this bit where any time someone new stumbled while grasping the fact that we were brother and sister, and they did that Brain Malfunction, Processing Error glitch face while they tried to compute Asian sister, white brother, how does that even work....so like, at some point we just started doing this thing where any time we saw that Look, my little sister would launch into this painfully earnest explanation of how so, “okay, our dad’s Vietnamese and our mom’s white, and I got all the Vietnamese genes and my brother here got all the white genes,” and I would just keep a totally straight face and nod along, backing her up, and you could literally see them falling for it for a good minute or so before they realized oh hey, they’re totally just bullshitting me. And then eventually we got told to cut it out because teachers were complaining about looking dumb in front of other students when we did that, which, well duh that’s cuz you were, dumbasses BUT I DIGRESS.

But point is.....I honestly do not know many (if any) adopted families who go around making a point to emphasize the adopted part of their family relationships any and every time they come up, the way most fiction tends to depict adopted characters doing? Once we established to a person that yes, we’re adopted, we didn’t ever feel a need to re-emphasize that or re-establish that same point any time after that. If they idk, forgot or got confused again or whatever, I mean...not our problem, you know? You get one explanation, if you still don’t get it after that, you’re probably not gonna get it anyway because its not like....rocket science. Was pretty much our stance.

And so okay, full disclosure, since anyone who’s followed me for some time has heard me talk about not really having a relationship with my family anymore....like yeah, its true, but because of a whole host of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with anyone’s adoption status. I mean, I basically hate my parents’ guts and have for a long time, but they’re still my parents, biological and adopted ones alike. And I love my siblings, we’re just unfortunately not close anymore because of all kinds of baggage that got heaped on us that there was really no way to deal with gracefully, look there are reasons I project on the Batfam and identify with that source material, lmao.

Again though, my point is.....even at the best of times, my family was crazy dysfunctional, much like the Batfamily is.....but even at the worst of times, literally nobody in my family was ever going around insisting on making a distinction about most of us not being biologically related, you know? That’s just....not a thing, IME. Like, family’s kinda all or nothing. You’re either family, or you’re not. The how of it only really matters if you’re hashing out something where that’s specifically relevant, otherwise, not so much because I mean....if it was that easy to make a distinction about how your family is only kinda technically sorta your family, it’d be a hell of a lot easier to just...walk away, you know? Like, even when you flat out hate members of your family, there’s not really a lot of confusion on whether or not you actually consider them family. As complicated as your family dynamic might be, people aren’t usually looking for places to add in that additional complication of ‘mmm but are we reeeeeeally even family, technically?’

So all of that plays into why its so jarring to see writers so insistently and repeatedly emphasize the ‘adopted’ part of Batfamily relationships, as though its like the most important aspect of their entire family dynamic...the be all and end all, the thing EVERYTHING inevitably traces back to, in every fight, in every dynamic, etc. And yeah, I do think people who aren’t adopted or from blended families themselves should maybe put a little more thought into what’s going through their head when they emphasize the adopted part of a family dynamic, like why they fixate on it as the most defining aspect or criteria of it. Because its really not nearly as reflective of reality as the sheer overwhelming SAMENESS of how often its written that way would suggest. Again, just speaking in my experience and that of those I’ve had this fandom conversation with, over the years.

Like, any way you write them, the Batfamily is dysfunctional as hell and always will be. But bottom line, there are some not that great implications underlying the....default assumption, that this dysfunctionality all stems from or inevitably traces back to that ‘adoptive’ qualifier. Have Dick or Jason or Tim or Damian flat out hating each other’s guts at times, there’s certainly canon to support it, and sure, insecurity as to their individual places in their family is always going to be at least a PART of it, but like....being insecure about your place in your family isn’t exactly an experience unique to adopted members of families, you know? But the way the Batfamily is usually written certainly seems to treat that as the takeaway, and again, I’m not sure offensive is the way I’d describe that, but it most definitely is grating. And it never fails to pull me right out of a story and like, moan dramatically at the heavens “oh my god, whyyyyyy, why do so many writers think we’re all just...totally unaware that these kids are all adopted and need to remind themselves and each other and us of that every other paragraph’.

Mostly because I’m dramatic like that, but also because its annoying too. Like....we get it, dudes. This is not brand new information. Its okay. You can refer to Bruce as just ‘their father’ or to their brothers or Cass as just ‘their brothers and sister’. You will not have like...lied, or anything.

Anyway. Those are my 6 am thoughts on the Batfam, fandom in general, and how you really only need to use the word ‘adopted’ like...once per relationship per fic. That’s really all it takes? The additional 674 mentions of adoption are kinda....gratuitous.

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