#but at the same don't want to be disappointed

[pandoraslxna]

Sweet like Cherry — Chapter 5

Miles Quaritch x female scientist reader

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Miles has a secret admirer and apparently, she has a thing for photography.

Warnings: explicit smut, age gap, size difference, alcohol consumption, somehow all men are assholes in this chapter, taking advantage of a drunk reader, cat calling, spanking, rough oral (f receiving), jealousy, possessive behavior, minimal dub-con warning, gambling, biting, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, virgin reader, obsession, authority kink, power play, corruption kink

There's a good reason as to why you don’t talk about personal things with your coworkers.

The problem with most coworkers is, they either don’t know or don’t care about someone’s boundaries. They'll just do something like this because they think it’s a nice gesture, and you don’t understand the point when in reality, they just need another reason to get wasted on another saturday night.

Out of place didn’t even begin to cover the way you felt right now.

You knew parties could be fun and a good time for everyone. Not that you’ve been to many before. You just don’t want to be in the middle of this, can't stand the fact that all these people are clustered around, laughing and talking and celebrating you. It feels like a game of play pretend. You don’t even know half of these people that claim to be your friends. They’re not even coworkers, you think. A dozen of them you’ve never even seen before and you’re sure they don’t even work on the same floor as you.

Maggie is going to pay for this later, because she's the only one who could possibly have told them that it's your birthday, and you specifically told her you weren’t going to let her do anything for your birthday. But you should’ve known, the second she asked to do your make up, then stuffed you into this sinfully tight and entirely too short dress of hers because she convinced you it would be fun, and then coincidentally found a pair of heels to match the look.

You couldn’t actually be that stupid, could you? Obviously she had something planned for you, when she asked to spend the evening of your birthday with you for a coffee. Now that coffee turned out to be whatever liquor was filled into that plastic cup in your hand that was then downed with a loud, cheerful whoo of every women in the room because they convinced you that’s how it’s done at a party.

"Aren't you enjoying yourself even a litte?" Laura asks, looking a little like a puppy hoping for a treat as she watches you chew on the inside of your cheek, standing stiff like a rod in the far corner of the room. You’re almost a little disappointed in her, after you found out she helped planning all this. But you can’t be mad at her when she only means good. Apparently that’s what good cowork— friends. That’s what good friends are supposed to do for each other.

And even though you want to say no, you can't bring yourself to throw their kindness back in their faces. After all, they were the only ones that gave you a chance to prove that you could be more than just that nerd. That nerd that doesn’t even bother to make friends or go to parties, that nerd that doesn't even get invited to said parties because you’re no fun anyways.

You may have earned yourself that name, but it still stings to think too much about it. And maybe you don’t want to be that nerd forever. Maybe you want to let yourself enjoy this.

"Yes, I'm enjoying myself," you finally say, swallowing down a sigh.

"Then smile, and go dance with us!" Maggie nudges your side and you cringe at the thought of dancing in the center of the crowded room.

"Why?" You force out a laugh, even though the question is genuine.

"Is this going to be some kind of philosophy discussion?" The brunette rolls her eyes, and you can’t help but admire her talent in applying false eyelashes that long without poking her eyeballs out. "I wanna dance, that's why!"

"I don't dance."

"Everybody dances! You just move, and you're dancing. How easy is that?"

"No I mean, I don't dance. I spazz. It's painful to watch. Me, spazzing all over the floor…" Your voice has grown quieter with every word, until you’re nearly hiding yourself by taking another gulp of that bright yellow liquor in your cup.

It's sweet and fizzy and tastes like sunlight might if you could drink it, so you empty another cup.

Flashing lights give you a taste of what epilepsy might be like and you feel the music pounding through the air and floor caress your every nerve. You feel fuzzy.

But it seems to be a good fuzzy. Warm happiness flows through your body like thick honey. Okay, maybe that happiness was just this overly sweet tasting booze, but you still felt distant in a nice way, and your head seemed to be floating, only attached to your neck by a string. The feel of Maggie’s sweating hand wrapped around your wrist distracted you beyond words, until you realized she was trying to drag you somewhere.

"Well then, let’s find yourself some company so you don’t get bored while you don’t dance all night", she giggles.

The two of you wended your way across to the other side of the room despite every protest that came from you; dodging tables, drunks, dancers, and others with ease, until Maggie seemed to reach her destination with a proud smile on her face. A group of men, most of them as unfamiliar as the better half of people here.

One of them you knew, though. It was Phil from floor 3. G., that computer engineer that had earned himself the title of Maggie’s friend, but with certain… benefits. However by the way these two were looking at each other through that heavy drunken lust in their eyes, one could assume they were actually more than just that.

Shifting your weight from one foot to the other, you nervously nipped at your drink once again as Maggie introduced you to the group. A bunch of people that came to celebrate you, yet none of them even knew your name, you came to realize. Great. And if you weren’t slowly starting to feel very funny inside, that would’ve been just another reason for you to leave this party immediately, slip into your favorite pjs and call it a night.

"So, twenty-six, huh?" One of the men smiles and lifts his drink in a toast, gently tipping the cup against yours which snaps you out of your trance. Looking up, you’re met with long, silky curls that framed a slightly tanned and politely smiling face. Your eyes skimmed over his frame for a split second. His body was...compact, lean, firm, though not overly muscular. Just an average looking guy.

"Yep", you clear your throat and send the man an awkward smile that he answers with a chuckle.

"I‘m Ben", he says and for a second, you hesitate to take his hand that he holds out for you to shake. "Nice to meet you."

The impact of that barest of touches, a mere whisper of skin-against-skin as you shake his hand and he squeezes yours, was enough to send blood rushing to your cheeks. His hands are soft, too soft, you think. Ironically, that makes you think about the dozen times a day lately when you had caught yourself thinking about Quaritch‘s hands. His are rough, big and warm, littered in tiny scars that you could feel when he caressed your skin or when he held you in a bruising grip.

The ones that had you concentrate very hard, to not beg him to touch you, on running those fingers across your body. His hands weren’t soft like Bens, who probably worked behind a desk and spent most of his times indoors, preferably in an office of some sorts.

Ben was also polite, you realized right away. He held small talk like it was second nature to him, even though you couldn’t help the awkwardness in the beginning. But his voice is smooth like honey and his jokes actually manage to make you laugh. Genuinely.

But by the time you had emptied your next cup, you couldn’t even seem to focus on the conversation anymore. Everything had turned into a blur of movements around you, and you were grateful for Bens guiding hand as he placed a glass of water into one of yours and took the empty red cup from the other.

"Here, drink this", he said with a chuckle, "Can’t have the birthday girl pass out this early on her special day, right?"

For a moment that seemed endless to you but for anyone near sober it must’ve been nothing more than a few seconds, your eyes lingered on him. Ben was cute, you thought. Not that kind of puppy cute that could make you go aww and ruffle through his hair, but that kind that made you blush and feel hot all over. He was handsome too. For an average guy. But then again, you’re just an average woman, are you not? And kindness, real kindness, was something you suddenly felt very starved for, especially now that it was served to you on a silver platter.

Suddenly it felt as if that hunger was beginning to burn out of control. As if he could sense your feelings, Ben moved just a little closer, the heat from his body searing your skin as he placed a hand to your upper arm and tilted his head.

"Y-Yes, no, i mean–", you stutter, quickly adverting your gaze from him to the glass of water in your hand. "You’re right. Sorry, i didn’t mean to zoom out like that, it’s just been… it’s just been a week for me and normally I don’t drink. Not that much, at least."

His hand moves in a soothing motion, up and down on your arm as he listens attentively. Ben tells you that you have nothing to apologize for. He asks about your work, your studies. He nods along and smiles to everything you say and it makes you feel appreciated, on a level you can’t remember ever feeling before.

It takes an embarrassing amount of time for you to realize that you’re rambling about your work life. And it takes you even longer to realize that through it all, Bens hand hasn’t moved away. That all it did was move up, up, up until he reaches to cup your jaw, his thumb stroking over your cheek just as you explain to him how the the Pamtseowll can be used as a musical instruments due to the sound produced when the wind moves across the leaves of the plant. Looking back you realized, that must’ve been pretty boring for him to listen to, especially since Ben decided to cut you off mid sentence as he pressed his booze tasting lips against yours.

You’re taken aback from the sudden invasion of your personal space, especially when Ben wraps his arm around your middle and pulls you flush against him. But the alcohol in your system makes up for that pretty quickly, heat rushing up to your face and simultaneously between your thighs makes you feel tingly all over.

His tongue pushes past your lips and you gasp into the kiss, the cup in your hand almost slipping out of your grasp as you lean into it.

The allure of cruising for a quick fuck, or possibly hustling for one; no commitment, no strings makes itself known when a soft sigh, almost a whimper, escapes you. It could be so easy, you think. You could do it tonight and get it over with.

You had to do something about this, this feeling whatever it was, get it out of you.

And his lips already fit so perfect against yours, but that’s really the problem, isn’t it? They’re not too big or too small. His hands can’t close entirely around your upper arm. His chest is basically flush with yours. God, you’re almost eye level with him. He’s so normal, so average. It doesn’t feel special with him. There’s no spark behind his kiss, it doesn’t consume you, it doesn’t take your breath away. He doesn’t make you feel special.

No. This wasn't a good idea.

It was no use, picking a man that wasn't even going to be able to fill in for the one you actually wanted. The one who’s hands you wished were touching you now, instead of Bens. The one who’s lips you wanted on yours, so desperately, you couldn’t even stop imagining it were his instead.

Fuck it, you thought. If he could seek you out to find some temporary relief, so could you. And you needed one, needed him, before you did something you would surely regret in the morning.

Bens face was so close, you had to blink a few times to bring it into focus before you gave him a subtle little push and his lips finally detached from yours.

It must’ve been the sudden change of your facial expression, but he suddenly found the need to apologize for kissing you so sudden, so unsolicited.

"No, no, it’s not that. I just need some fresh air, I feel a little nauseous", you admitted sheepishly, which was both, the truth and a lie. You tried not to pay too much attention to the guilty look in Bens face as you excused yourself and quickly found a way to the exit without anyone taking notice of you, basically ditching your own party.

By now, you could make the walk through the dimly lit hallways to Quaritchs room in your sleep. Or, in this case, drunk and on uncoordinated feet.

Anticipation fills your hazed mind and with an enthusiastic thud, your knuckles connect with the metal frame, producing a muffled echo as you knock on his door.

Heart pounding rapidly in your chest, you eagerly wait for him to open, but the silence that follows is deafening. The realization slowly dawns on you that the Colonel isn't home and a mix of disappointment and frustration crosses your face. But you won’t give up that easily. If he’s not here, there’s only one place he could be at this time of the night.

Two floors up and down the corridor on the left, you could already see light beaming under the comically large door, loud voices and laughter echoing through the hallways that could already be heard as you had exited the elevator earlier.

Peaking into the common room that belonged to team Deja blue, you were greeted by a vibrant atmosphere where you knew the military men gathered to unwind after work. The space was adorned with patriotic decor, displaying flags, emblems, and photographs that reflect their shared commitment as well as their love for barely dressed na’vi pin up girls sitting on tanks and posing with guns. How ironic.

The air carries the smell of smoke and beer, and the musky scent of the day's work and you can’t help but shudder. Your inner warning sirens were working overtime as you stepped foot into the room, fear making your knees go weak, yet every sense of logic and common sense was overtuned by the alcohol buzzing through you. The room exuded a sense of unity, one you clearly didn’t belong to, making you stick out like a sore thumb.

Uniformed recombinant soldiers were relaxing on comfortable couches, their boots resting on coffee tables, engage in heated games of pool or cards -everything maximized to their ridiculous size.

It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for the first pair of eyes to land on your much smaller frame, before nudging the recom next to them with their elbow, pointing at you with their chin.

You try to ignore their boring gazes, the sound of low whistles and snickering picking up the more of them realized your presence. Pulling your sinfully short dress a little down lower, a feeling of regret fills your cheeks in a dark blush. But before you can change your mind and turn around to exit, a large palm settles on your lower back, keeping you from walking backwards out of the room.

"Hey doll face, where ya‘ going?"

Craning your neck up, you’re met with a grin that belonged to a recom that had a pair of sunglasses resting on top of his bald head. You knew he seemed familiar, but the liquor you had consumed earlier made it impossible to concentrate enough to remember his name.

"Oh excuse me, I- I‘m– I was just, uhm, looking for Colonel Quaritch?" You winced at the way you made it sound like a question, cursing yourself for embarrassing you by drunkenly rambling to a stranger.

"The Colonel?" He exchanged a look over his shoulder with some of the other soldiers, who were seemingly interested in what you had to say. "Why’s that, buttercup?"

"I, uhm, want to give him something", you improvise. "It’s urgent." That much was true.

The man looks you up and down for a moment, his eyes nearly peeling the little dress from your body as he takes you in, brows raised high.

"Give him something, huh? Why don’t you give that little something to me?" He laughs.

"He’s not here right now, but we can have good time together too", one of the others calls from behind.

You swallow the lump in your throat, awkwardly picking at your fingernails as your hands begin to shake. Deciding to back off and step back from the whole situation, you set one foot behind the other, already preparing yourself to mumble an embarrassing excuse before an arm wraps itself around your waist and you nearly stumble forward and into one of the soldiers arms.

"C‘mere pretty, I don’t bite", he grins, then points his chin to the bald soldier on his right, "But the Corporal over there sure does."

The men laugh and shove each other like a group of rowdy teenagers, and you’re honestly scared one of them could accidentally crush you if they fell. You use the short moment of chaos to wriggle yourself out of the soldiers grasp, only to be stopped short by your wrist.

"C‘mon short stuff, don’t leave", the bald one shows you an almost apologetic smile that you still struggle to trust. "Ignore these fuckers. Stay for a drink, yeah? I‘m sure the Colonel will be back in a minute. And we have the best beer anyone could get in this shit hole!"

Blame it on the liquor, but your mind was slowly beginning to draw blank, throwing all logic and consequences right out of the window and welcoming the nervous excitement of the forbidden. It felt like there was a pressure in your ribcage, making it harder for you to breathe properly, until you finally exhaled a shaky response.

"Just one."

The thing about working in the military is that you learn to kill your own tells. Killing your own tells is what keeps you from getting that double-tap to the back of the head. But learning how to pick up on what other people do when they're nervous as fuck, that's what’s really helpful, you’ve only just realized.

In hindsight, you should have known that agreeing to one beer that ultimately lead to two more and then to a round of poker was a bad idea. And now you’re perched up on someone’s lap and you don’t even know how poker works. That someone is named Lyle, you remind yourself of the previous learned name. His chin rests on top of your shoulder, nose buried in your shared cards that you hold up for him to see, one of his hands squeezing your hip while the other holds your hands steady.

"This one next," he whispers into your ear, pointing at the card on the far left before you laid it down in front of the table as instructed.

"Three fours showing, and over here…" The recom named Prager slaps another card down face-up in front of you. "Still garbage, sorry sweets. Ace high." Grinning, he pushes three colorful plastic chips into a pile in the middle of table. "I bet three."

The rest of the group remains silent, save for the sound of grinding teeth and stressed sighs.

The nervous trembling of your thighs doesn’t let up when the next round of cards is handed out, so you reach for the can of oversized beer and gulp the rest of it down.

"Relax, buttercup," Lyle chuckles, his hand soothing over your thigh, "You need to work on hiding your tells. You don’t want us to loose, do you?"

"Yeah but ya’ gonna if she keeps that up, Wainfleet," another soldier laughs.

"Poor thing is shaking so much, you might as well bet her next to finally get a lucky streak."

Crimson red fills the apple of your cheeks, barely visible however under the alcohol-induced flush of your skin. But even though your senses are as if in daze and directed at what is happening in front you, you still got enough situational awareness to realise that there’s someone standing in the doorway watching with a tense jaw.

"You gotta be careful," that someone says, the words flowing like nothing ever has, making the hair rise on the nape of your neck. "Betting another man's things like that."

And it should bother you, how easily he can categorize you as one of his things, like a gun or whatever fucking possessions he had, but it doesn't, because you are his. Aren’t you?

"Ah, boss", Lyle laughs, and you may not be a marine or recombinant or anything of the sort, but you could tell that he was nervous. Silence bleeds over the rest of team Deja blue as the Colonel steps into the room, sending cards go flying as he yanks you up by your wrist and throws you over his shoulder like a dead deer. Prey.

You squeak once the room has turned upside down, hands instinctively reaching for the hem of your dress to keep it in place as soldiers ogled the way Quaritch was walking you out of the room without another word and marched down the hallway.

The amount of times you’ve found yourself in his room could be counted on one hand, you came to realize, once you’re thrown onto his bed, almost bouncing off the oversized mattress.

A finger is pointed at you, and shame and dread uncontrollably fill your eyes with tears that dare to spill over as Quaritch barks at you like he’s lecturing a child.

"You listen here very careful, kid", he’s damn near yelling, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him.

Kid.

Being now twenty-six years of age, you certainly took a degree of offense when a man his age still called you 'kid.' There wasn't much childish about you, never have been. Not in the last ten years, so there was no need for him to go running his mouths at you like you were twelve.

Balling your fists at your side, you barked right back at him, "I‘m not a child!"

For several seconds, there was nothing, and you wondered if you’d truly fucked up this time, and you don’t even dare to look up at the man towering over you like a mountain. That is, until the bed suddenly dips and a hand effortlessly closes around your wrist and manhandles you to bend over his lap.

You would squirm and fight and run if it weren't for the iron grip on your wrists, pinning them behind your back like the wings of a butterfly to a board.

"That’s right," he murmurs that part, but the rest comes out more sternly, "So quit actin‘ like one whenever something doesn’t go your way!"

The first blow of his hand descended onto your upturned ass comes so sudden and unexpected, sending you sliding forward over the muscular thigh you were bent over, that you couldn’t help but yelp, before you sucked in a sharp gasp of air as the sting spread through you. "What the— fuck!" You hissed. "What are you even talking about!?"

"What am I talking about?" Quaritch scoffs.

You barely forced yourself to relax when the next one came, making you jump, and duck your head down even lower in a vain attempt to scoot farther away from his hand.

"I can smell the liquor all over you, hun. And the way you were throwing yourself at these little creeps? Don’t act dumb with me. You and I both know damn well what you were trying to do here."

"Y-You’re imagining things!" You protest. Another slap, and this time you could feel the smooth fabric of your dress riding up, giving him unhindered access to the tender flesh beneath. "Fuck, that hurt, you–"

Blow after blow came over you, cutting off every complain and every thought that might’ve formed if you could concentrate enough, and you might have tried counting them but there were so many. Too many, and your ass was burning and suddenly you wanted nothing more than to say you were sorry, you'd never do it again, and maybe the Colonel would stop soon and you could just promise to be good—

But he didn't stop and you heard the smack again and one more landed, and god damn it really fucking hurt. You only realised you had started speaking aloud, babbling apologies and begging for it to stop when fingers ran over your panties, feeling for your throbbing clit beneath the thin fabric.

"Tell me, would you’ve spread your legs for them like you did for me? Thought you could just take what you want because I’m not giving it to you?"

One hand squeezed and molded a cheek, and you moaned as he groped the overly sensitive flesh. If you could gather enough strength to crane your neck and look at him, you would’ve caught the way his ears flicked at the sound of that.

Another slap, this time aimed a little lower, more gentle, with fingertips brushing over your folds at the impact and you let out another moan, less like a painful one and more in a way that was so unmistakable, that when you felt the thigh you laid on tense, you could only guess what was coming now.

"Does this turn you on, getting what you deserve?" Quaritch said lowly, the spanks stopping for a while in favor of torturing you with the barest of touches, rough fingertips flicking over that little bundle of nerves until you were whining and squirming.

"No," you then responded in a hushed whisper.

Pulling the fabric of your panties taunt, Miles gave you a mean wedgie as he inspected the wet patch forming right there. With a chuckle he told you, "you’re pretty little pussy is telling me otherwise."

"That’s– that’s not true!"

"Oh, it’s not? That means you did enjoy all this attention they gave you today, hm? You enjoyed having all these fuckers look at you like you’re candy they want to peel out of its wrapper?"

"I- No, I didn’t–"

Rough fingertips run up and down your slit, cutting you off mid sentence as you feel him pull your slip to the side.

"What were you even doing there?" His voice sounds calmer now, collected, as he thumbs your exposed clit.

"Was looking for you", you mumble, all fight gone the moment warm pleasure fills your veins the more he plays with you like this.

"For me?" Quaritch chuckles, brows raised high. "Why’s that?"

"You know why…" You groan when one of his digits that had been circling your entrance slides into you, painfully slow and teasing, just an inch before it slides out again.

"I do. But I want to hear you say it."

Biting your lip prevents you from giving in to his teasing, but it doesn’t help muffle the moan that’s slips out when he pushes back inside, letting you feel the stretch of your walls as they envelop not one, but two of his thick fingers.

"Missed me, hm?" He grins. You can’t see it from your position, but you can hear that shit eating grin in his voice. And then his fingers start to move. His palm smacks your ass with every thrust, fingers curling inside you to feel for that spongey little spot that made you gasp.

"C‘mon, say it."

He speeds up fast. Too fast for you to catch up with, forcing moans and wet squelching sounds out of you, until you huff out in frustration.

"Fuck, okay! Yes, I missed you." That one actually makes him laugh, enough for you to grind your teeth, turn your head and bark back at him, "And you’re an… you’re a jealous old man!"

"Yeah? That so?"

His eyes seem to pierce right through yours as he glances back at you, grin sharp and dangerous before he grabs you by the waist and spins you around so you’re pushed with your back against the mattress, instead of being uncomfortably bend over his thighs.

If there was one thing that was able to set the butterflies in your tummy alive and making them do little jumping jacks, it was the way Quaritch so easily manhandled you so you were bend like a pretzel, panty shoved down and over your ankles, who were now nearly touching your ears. It was harder to breathe like this, that was for sure. But you don’t mind the position one bit, especially with the view of him laying down flat on his stomach, head neatly nestled between your spread thighs as he admires the wet glossy look of your pussy just begging for him to finally fucking do something.

You had guys go down on you before. Two in total. And it wasn’t like they were necessarily bad at it, it was just that they apparently had learned one way to do it and then decided to stick with whatever that technique was called. And that’s when you decided that being on the receiving end of oral, it wasn’t really for you.

But with Quaritch, you knew from the very second the tip of his tongue parted your folds from your slit to your clit, that it was gonna be different.

It felt like the pleasure was shooting straight up your spine, making your back arch off the bed as he repeated the same motion once more, groaning when your slick juices hit his tastebuds.

"Holy shit", you let the words out in a shaky breath, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling above you.

"Eyes on me, cherry."

Glancing down on yourself, you catch the moment he spreads your folds with his thumbs to get better access to your clit that coyly peeks out from under its hood. Quaritch gives the little nub a teasing tap with his fingertip, and you both watch as a thin string of arousal and spit connect your clit with his finger before it breaks. Not even a split second later and he’s on you again.

You nearly choke on a moan when his lips close around your clit and sucks, his mouth halfway covering your whole cunt as he eats you out, tongue swirling around those sweet spots of yours. The noises he makes are wet, sloppy and so dirty, and it brings you to the edge of that pleasure high faster than you could process.

A hand reaches for his buzzed down hair as he gives you a filthy kiss right where you need it.

"Oh- Oh god, I think I’m gonna come", you moan as his hands slide up to hold you more open than you were before, so that he could taste you again and again, his tongue dipping deeper and deeper inside every time. Your hand curls tighter in his hair, tugging, and you worry for a moment that you were hurting him. Not that this was even possible. Still, you just couldn’t help it– touching him was the only thing anchoring you, as if you would float away and disappear if you‘d move your hands just an inch.

But Quaritch doesn't seem to mind, not if the way he groans, grinds his face against your pussy and thrusts his tongue deeper into you is anything to go by.

You could feel the pleasure growing inside you, in your toes and in your spine and behind your eyelids, and you arch against him, moaning at each touch of his tongue, his lips against your clit– sucking and slurping and kissing. It's building and you’re reaching for it, hips jerking violently as though to follow his mouth, and then you’re falling apart with a gasp that ebbs into a moan.

You don’t even hear yourself for the first couple of seconds, the blood rushing behind your ears drowning out the volume of your moans before your legs finally stop trembling and clenching around the head nestled between them.

Arms falling limp to your sides, you watch your own chest raising and falling in frantic pants. You’re spent and exhausted, truthfully. But you can’t help but notice that the wet glide of the Colonels tongue hasn’t stopped yet. It circles around your clit, not quite touching it, just teasing.

"Miles", you call for him, soft and quiet, voice hoarse from moaning. You’re not prepared for the sudden suction on raw nerves created by his puckered lips, and you cry out in surprise. Your legs twitch in overstimulation as he sucks and groans, the vibrations only adding further to the stimulation that quickly morphs from uncomfortable to pleasurable. "M-Miles, fuck! I- I can’t, wait!"

Your back nearly arches off the bed, if it weren’t for his his hands keeping you in place. It felt like his tongue was everywhere at once, licking every inch of your cunt, all those places that brought yet another orgasm rushing forward.

Unable to control the movements of your body, you pump your hips against his face as your stomach muscles clench and your head digs into the pillow underneath you.

"Can’t, I can’t", you mewl, "s‘too much!"

"No, you will take it", he says, barely lifting his head to speak and the air that blows out between his words send a full on body shiver through you. "You will take it because that’s what little sluts get. I‘m only giving you all this attention that you were seeking today and now you’re complaining?"

It takes a moment for you to find your voice.

"I‘m not- not a slut", you protest. Glancing down at Quaritchs face, his wet chin and lips slicked with you, his lips curl in diabolical pleasure.

"No? Then whose humping my face like this? Who’s been fucking dripping all over my thighs from being spanked, huh? Cherry, you are a little slut. A desperate one too."

His sharp tongue then flicks over your clit again, and you break into a thousand pieces. It feels so good you’re shaking, as red hot pleasure surges through your veins and clouds your vision. Your second orgasm ebbs away faster than the first, but is nonetheless as intense. The feel of sticky wet arousal soaking the sheets below you makes you cringe and you want to move away, but the iron grip he has on your thighs doesn’t falter. If anything, he just holds you more secure, pulls you closer, to press his tongue into you as far as it could reach.

"Oh god- please, I can’t!" You nearly sob, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes while Quaritch flattens his tongue to catch every droplet of slick running down your slit. "Give me a break!"

"One more," he purrs, dark and sinister, his sharp grin visible even as he peeks up from between your legs.

"I don’t know if I can," you whine, throwing your head back at the invitation of sensations that just don’t let up.

"You can and you will."

The pressure of his suction continues as he moves his tongue, trailing it along your lips and over to your clit again. He sucks the sensitive nub and then slides two fingers inside your body, curving them, increasing their pressure as your loud moans turn into screams.

Miles wraps his free arm around your waist, stilling your trembling hips and locking you in place. He increases the thrusts of his digits, rubbing intently against your walls as he sucks harder on your throbbing clit. He's determined to make you see stars and it’s for him to decide when this insanely pleasurable form of torture is finally over.

You could only hope, pray and moan to him, god or whoever– as you felt the beginning tremors of what you hoped would be your last orgasm for the night course through your body, and your legs clamp tightly, unable to withstand the sheer intensity of it.

Sensing the growing tension in your body, Miles suddenly pulls back, replacing his mouth with his thumb on your clit, stroking around the glands before touching it directly, causing you to cry out.

He grins, catching his breath, and then continues his assault on your body until you’re past the point of return, walls clenching around his fingers and thighs pressed firmly to his shoulders, framing his head.

It’s heat against heat, hot tongue against hotter folds, and you throw your head back and sob with relief. It’s good, really good— his tongue is long enough so that when he laps at you he hits your clit on the upswing every time. Your hips buck once its too much, his tongue nearly rubbing you raw but he holds you down and then it becomes just right as you fall apart with a cry.

It takes several minutes for your senses to come back together, regain your vision and hearing, and when you blink your sore eyes open, you’re met with Quaritch‘s, just as he’s finishing leaving a final mark on your inner thigh. His teeth have left a purplish imprint on your soft skin and he grins at you.

"You’re mine. Never forget that."

Taglist:

@littlesugarcube45 @hellok1ttycake @luvvsnae @ok-boke @mynameisbaby9 @vixorell @aduialwen @headsincloud9 @aconstructofamind @hotsingledragon @normsdaughter-alt @waiting4avatar @loaksulluyswife @mechformers @neteyamswillow @neteyamsyawntu @tallulah477 @hotdsworld @neteyamssyulang @byunpum @abcm18339 @eywaite @aperiraa @woodlandgirl22-blog-blog @puddle-nerd @luvv4j4ybe11 @loakstahni @neteyamsoare @ruyaas-world @minnory @xylianasblog @quaritchxwifewh0re @aria-tempest @justcaptiannoodles @neteyamyawne @loaksulluyswife @itchaboi-itchyboy @professional-yapper @ikeyniofthetayrangi @torukmaktoskxawng @taronyuhunter @yawnetu @talialobi @anemonelovesfiction @bambithewriter @tumblingdevils @danniackerman @witchsprit @rivatar @quarotch

Let me know if you want to be added / removed 🩵

#avatar the way of water #avatar #avatar 2 #atwow #avatar miles quaritch #colonel miles quaritch #miles quaritch #miles quaritch smut #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch x reader smut #atwow quaritch #avatar quaritch #colonel quaritch #colonel quaritch x reader smut #quaritch #quaritch smut #quaritch x reader #recom miles quaritch #recom quaritch

[myojinn-boo]

Kewpie Mayo - Toge Inumaki

Kewpie Mayo ... Oneshot fanfic Inumaki Toge (JJK) x reader Tags: fluffy fluff, friends to lovers, JJK au Summary: Toge has so much he wants to say, but his sushi ingredients can only do so much. So you help him expand his vocabulary. a/n: My first ever fic! Got this little idea with Toge and I wanted to flesh it out. Feedback would be appreciated <3

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ You were incredibly optimistic before entering Jujutsu Tech. You envisioned yourself going out on daring missions, doing crazy things with your fellow sorcerer friends, learning powerful moves, and so on. You romanticized the hell out of it even before you sat in your first lecture. But reality often disappoints. The missions were dangerous, sure, but you were naive to think they would send you out to fight a special grade like it would be a walk in the park for you. And sure, you go out with the other first years, but you never felt like you fit in. Yuji and Nobara had this chaotic dynamic going on and you could never seem to keep up with. Megumi... well... he just makes you feel like you're a bother, so you'd rather not hang out with him one-on-one. But, at the very least, there was this second year student at Jujutsu Tech that you got along with quite well.

You thought it was weird at first—how he couldn't speak like the rest of you. Maki explained it all to you when you decided to hang out with the second years while they trained together. She told you how he was from a well-known clan with a signature cursed technique. And as you watched him spar with the talking panda (which you also thought was weird), one thing plagued your mind. It must be tough not being able to express yourself normally. You don't know if it was just a natural thing or if you actually felt pity for the guy, but you went up to him. A part of you was also hoping that maybe you'd find 'that' friend in him—the one that isn't too overwhelming and the one that doesn't make you feel like a pain in the ass. "Toge?" You called out to him from behind as he drank from his water bottle. It was a hot day and his sparring session with Panda was intense. You could see the sweat trickle down his temples when he turned to look at you. "Kelp?" So it was true that he speaks in sushi ingredients. You didn't think Maki would make such a strange and elaborate lie about it anyway. You introduced yourself to him with the pretense of wanting to get to know your seniors better.

On that same day, you learned all of the sushi ingredients he used in his daily conversations. And the more you spent your time with him, you could even distinguish the nuances in his tone—the rise and fall of his pitch, how he stresses certain letters, and so on. Sometimes, all you had to do was look at his facial expression and you'd know what he was trying to tell you. Of course, a few days after you introduced yourself to him, you managed to snag his number. Anyone who asked for Toge's number never seemed suspicious at all. No one thinks that asking for his number had any romantic context. Everyone just asked for it so they could talk to him without deciphering his ridiculous language. But once you got that number, oh boy. You two never went a day without talking. When he could freely express himself without the restrictions of his cursed technique, your view of him slowly changed. You realized he had a sense of humor. Truthfully, it was as braindead as it could get, but you couldn't deny laughing at 2 AM at his antics. Toge was a bit of a crackhead as well. He'd say the most out of pocket things as if it was the most normal thing in the world. You picked up on this habit too, and part of him feels proud that he was the one who corrupted you like that. Then one night, after sending your 'good nights' to each other, you had this thought. It was a relentless thought that refused to get out of your head. You wanted to hear Toge speak all the words he'd tell you through your phone screen. But you knew it was impossible. You've heard his voice briefly whenever he'd activate his cursed technique... and you've also heard how he'd violently cough out blood after using a particularly powerful move. Then he'd say that it was no big deal—through text, of course. You only put yourself to sleep when you convinced your stupid brain that forcing Toge to speak and hurt himself wasn't worth it. You hated to see him hurt. After that thought, a whole bunch of other things swarmed your brain—and they were all about your white-haired purple-eyed friend. You were falling for him and you were falling hard. In fact, those same thoughts were running through your head right now and— "Tuna mayo." Right, you were sitting beside him right now—cooling off after training. You have no business to be thinking about such things right now, especially since he's just a couple of inches away. You've also gotten into a habit of just texting each other even though you're face-to-face. He started typing on his phone while your gaze was still on him. Your phone dinged a specific tone. Actually, you had set a special tone for Toge's texts. He didn't let you hear the end of it once he figured it out. He made sure to let everyone know that you liked him. He was right. You liked him very much. But you'd never admit that. You kept the tone the same despite his teasing just so he wouldn't get the satisfaction of watching you get flustered. But deep down, you were dying. You whipped your phone out and saw that he had texted. Toge: Spacing out? Did Panda knock your head a little too hard? You're drooling a bit actually. You: No. I was just thinking. ALSO, my mouth is very dry thank you very much.

Toge: Oh fr? Lemme see how dry it is. Imma check with my mouth too ofc 🫦🥵 You felt all the butterflies on earth suddenly flutter in your stomach. This wasn't new. As your friendship went on—it wasn't unusual for him to pull something silly like this. He thinks it's all fun and games, but his words had you thinking otherwise. But again, you'll never admit you like him. You: Sometimes I'm glad you can only speak sushi ingredients. You stare at the chat bubbles appearing and disappearing on the screen. Then it disappears for quite a while which prompts you to look up at him. There was a slight frown. You'd let off pretty hurtful jabs at each other before, but maybe this one just hit a chord. "Hey... you know I didn't mean that, right?" Your expression softened as you studied his features. "I mean, honestly, I always wished you could speak normally... I love talking to you." You immediately shut yourself up. It's okay. It's okay. You just said that in a friendly way, you thought. It doesn't necessarily mean you LOVED him. You could never say that to him. "Salmon roe?" His face perked up at your admission. You nodded at him. "At some point I even thought about telling you to just make a language with me, you know? I mean, you'd still be speaking in ingredients, but at least you get more out of it." He listens intently before tapping away at his phone again. Toge: That's actually a wonderful idea coming from a dumbo like you. You chuckled and playfully punched his shoulder at the nickname he used for you. He laughed softly back at you and you couldn't help but smile at this little moment you had going on. God, you loved him, but you couldn't tell him that. "Hmm, so what's our word for today? There are still so many sushi ingredients out there that are still unused." Toge nodded enthusiastically. He sent messages as you spoke to him in real time. Toge: Sooo... what's your favorite sushi ingredient? "Rice," you replied without a second thought which earned a sigh from Toge. He sounded disappointed almost.

Toge: That's so basic.

Toge: Putting rice as 'basic bitch' in Toge's dicktionary. You furrowed your brows at him. "And when would this word be useful to you? I don't see you using it frequently." And by true Toge fashion, he flashes that shit-eating grin at you. "Rice." It felt weird hearing him say a different ingredient. Despite what the word meant to the both of you—you just smiled at him. "Okay, then what isn't a basic choice?" Toge: Just think outside of the box for once. You looked off into the distance, thinking hard. Then you got an idea. "Remember the sushi I made you last week? The ones with Kewpie mayo swirls on it?" Toge's face seemed to soften for a moment once you brought that up. He was down in the dumps last week after a losing streak on Fortnite. You thought it was stupid to get all gloomy over a game with flying buses and shit. But you tried your best to cheer him up. So you made him the only thing you knew how to make—sushi, as ironic as it is. You made this batch of sushi with extra love and care. Of course, your signature mayo swirls were on it too. You delivered it to his room and watched him chow down like a caveman. It warmed your heart seeing him enjoy something you made. You craved this feeling. But you'd never voice it out. "How about we add Kewpie to your vocabulary then? Or is it too basic for your taste, sir?" Toge chuckles softly again and then he goes silent. He looks down at his lap with the smallest smile on his face. "Hey, what's wrong with yo—" "Kewpie." You were taken aback. He was acting strange all of a sudden. "So, what does 'Kewpie' mean then?" Toge looked down at his phone and you stared at yours as well. The chat bubbles appeared, disappeared, appeared, disappeared for a long time... and so on. You were getting nervous.

Then, finally, the message arrived. Toge: I love you. Your eyes widened. You had to read it three—no, ten times to actually believe that those were the 8 letters showing up on your screen. And while you were stuck in your little bubble of shock, he sent another message. Toge: I know, I know, pretty cool way to rizz you up huh? He was so fricking silly, even now. How funny is it that the man who literally couldn't utter normal words would be the first to say this. You were perfectly fine saying anything that you wanted, yet you refused to. You refused to tell him you loved him... but maybe now wouldn't be so bad. "I Kewpie you too," you say before bursting out into a wide grin. Toge couldn't help but laugh a bit. He found your happiness way too endearing. So endearing, in fact, that his lips made its way to yours. He gave you a short and sweet peck. You were in absolute awe, but that didn't stop you from leaning in and giving him a quick kiss of your own. Your antics made the both of you laugh. Your racing thoughts about him were finally quelled. In the end, all you needed was to just tell him—tell him that you loved him so much it hurt. You would've, But Toge is Toge... Toge: By the way, 'I Kewpie you too' is grammatically wrong, loser. But it's okay. You're my loser <3 . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ end

Likes and reposts are appreciated :))

myojin-boo 2024

#jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk x you #inumaki x reader #inumaki x you #inumaki toge #jjk inumaki #myoji writes #jujutsu kaisen

[hometoursandotherstuff]

When people decide they want a castle, they have to have a vision and then hire an architect to design it. That's why I'm fascinated by them- a wealthy person's idea of what a castle should look like. This one was built in 2019 in West Linn, OR. It has 10bds, 13ba, $6M. Well, this one sure has a lot of turrets. No drawbridge, though.

Well, it's elegant, but it's got a regular entrance.

Interesting entrance. They get right down to business- the first thing you see as you enter the front door is the wine cellar. And, it's huge.

Powder room next to the wine. Look at the sink- it's the Eiffel Tower. I like the color of the toilet, too.

The entrance hall rises a dramatic 3fls. with balconies. The blue tower is an elevator.

I don't see a sitting room. They go right into the kitchen. It has a nice brick pizza oven and blue cabinets.

The pantry is large and is used to store all the dishes.

Beautiful library.

The dining room looks like it's on th 2nd fl. I like the long room and window arches. I wonder what they store in the small doors.

There's also a shower room.

Since the dining room is on the 2nd fl., maybe the turrets are the sitting rooms.

I have no idea which room is the primary, b/c there isn't one that's very large. They're all about the same size. This one has a fireplace and a balcony.

And, this one is a twin of that one, but it doesn't have the balcony.

This could be the primary, too.

Here's one of the spacious baths.

Another bedroom that's about the same size as the others.

Cute bath.

Here's a home theater that's disappointing.

Looks like a sun room.

This part of the house is another full living quarter.

It even has it's own kitchen and you can see a living room with a stone fireplace on the right.

There are several outdoor areas.

It's a huge home on 68.48 acres of land.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/26480-SW-Wilken-Ln-West-Linn-OR-97068/48267845_zpid/?

#castle houses #estates #mansions #houses #house tours #home tour

[love-islike-abomb]

Hail to the king

Roman reigns x Astrid (OC)

"hail to the king! Hail to the one! Kneel to the crown! Stand in the sun! Hail to the king! Hail! Hail! Hail!"

Warnings: smut, errors I may have missed

Tag list: @reignsangel444 @acknowledge-reigns @mzv11 @marchm-langdon @mandeelemons @pittieprincess22 @wrestlingprincess80 @weirdgirl16355

_____

I hadn't expected to see him shooting a scene in what looked like a throne room! Gold blocks all around, him wearing a suit with no undershirt, exposing part of his tattoo, muscular chest and looking dreamy asf! His hair slicked back into a neat bun was the cherry on top! He looked good enough to eat!

I tried to go about my day as normal, running errands for the director, making sure he had his coffee, keeping the public out of the venue, the usual work for an assistant. But everytime I would look up I would catch him looking at me with lustful eyes, that smirk on his face. I bit my lip several times to keep from moaning out loud. He'd smile everytime he saw me flustered. He was enjoying teasing me. I can't say I wasn't enjoying it.

When the day ended and everyone went home, I had stopped by where he'd been filming to say a proper hello but he wasn't in the room. I shrugged thinking he must have already left, it was 9pm after all. I turned around to go back to my office, turning down the hall I heard shuffling coming from the room. Just before I reached my door he walked out still in that suit. I smiled "I figured you'd left already! It's late!"

He reaches his arm out to brace himself on the wall, he towered over me "I was looking for you. I wanted to say how I enjoyed our little sessions today. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable!" He smiled. His smile made my heart flutter.

"oh no! Not at all! In fact I enjoyed in myself!" I said mentally kicking myself. Astrid you idiot! I think he knew the effect he was having on me. He moved his arm away from the wall an walked towards me, pinning me between him and the wall "your boldness is highly attractive! I like a woman who knows what she wants!" He winked at me.

"I need to get into my office and get a few things before I head out!" I said. I guess part of me was trying to lure him into my office to shut the door. The idea of him fucking me on my desk was making the heat pool between my legs. He stood outside the room though which disappointed me. I walked back out with my things and he walked with me down the hall until we reached the room he had been filming in earlier before he walked behind me and leaned towards my ear.

"I saw in your eyes today how you wished you could have been fucking me on this throne! Bouncing on my cock!" He growled. I bit my lip, my mouth watering at the thought.

"don't be shy baby girl! Theres no one here!" He said walking to the chair and sitting down. He patted his knee and I nearly screamed at the sight "come sit on daddy's lap!" I walked towards him, trying to contain my excitement. He took off his jacket, motioning for me to do the same with my cardigan. Slowly I took it off letting it fall to the floor.

He stood up taking his suit pants off, pulling them down his thick thighs, pulling his boxers with them. I took my dress off when motioned for me to, revealing my black lace bra and thong. He licked his lips, making my thighs clench "come ere baby girl!" He motioned. When I reached him he grabbed my thong and pulled it off throwing it to the ground. I turned around my back facing him, before lowering myself onto his hardened flesh "uhn! Fuck baby!" He groaned, his massive hands gripping my hips, moving me up and down his length. I leaned forward, using his knees for balance, sliding myself up and down him, the sound of our juices mixing and skin slapping against skin filled the room "that's a good girl! Bounce on my cock!" He growled "the way that pussy is gripping me I think you're close! Cum on my cock baby girl! That's it!" My fingers dug into his legs and my whole body tensed.

"fuck baby girl! That pussy is gonna milk my cock dry!" He growled, digging his fingers into my hips, working us both through our orgasms. His grip on my hips loosened and I fell backwards into his chest "fuck!" I said trying to catch my breath.

"that was incredible!" He said "I know this may seem like a crazy thing to ask but do you wanna have dinner with me tomorrow?"

I smiled "I'd love to!"

#Spotify #roman reigns #big daddy uce #wwe x oc #wwe smut #roman reigns fic #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x oc #roman reigns imagine #roman reigns fanfiction #writeblr #fanfic writing

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Barbara Stanwyck (Ball of Fire, The Lady Eve, Double Indemnity)—I hope someone else has submitted better propaganda than I because I don't want my girl's prospects to rest on me just yelling PLEASE VOTE FOR MY TERRIBLE HOT GIRLFRIEND. She is a delight in everything! She is often a sexy jerk! (It's most of the plot of Baby Face!) Even when she plays a "good girl" (as an example, Christmas in Connecticut, which more people should see) she's still kind of a jerk and I love her for it! She won't take men's shit and she sure wouldn't take mine!

Setsuko Hara (Tokyo Story, Late Spring, The Idiot)— "'The only time I saw Susan Sontag cry,' a writer once told me, his voice hushed, 'was at a screening of a Setsuko film.' What Setsuko had wasn’t glamour—she was just too sensible for that—it was glow, one that ebbed away and left you concerned, involved. You got the sense that this glow, like that of dawn, couldn’t be bought. But her smiles were human and held minute-long acts, ones with important intermissions. When she looked away, she absented herself; you felt that she’d dimmed a fire and clapped a lid on something about to spill. Over the last decade, whenever anyone brought up her lips—'Setsuko’s eternal smile,' critics said, that day we learned that she’d died—I thought instead of the thing she made us feel when she let it fall." - Moeko Fujii

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Setsuko Hara:

One of the best Japanese actresses of all time; a symbol of the golden era of Japanese cinema of the 1950s After seeing a Setsuko Hara film, the novelist Shūsaku Endō wrote: "We would sigh or let out a great breath from the depths of our hearts, for what we felt was precisely this: Can it be possible that there is such a woman in this world?"

One of the greatest Japanese actresses of all time!! Best known for acting in many of Yasujiro Ozu's films of the 40s and 50s. Also she has a stunning smile and beautiful charm!

Linked gifset

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She's considered by some to be the greatest Japanese actress of all time! In Kurosawa's The Idiot she haunts the screen, and TOTALLY steals the show from Mifune every time she appears.

She's considered by some to be the greatest Japanese actress of all time! In Kurosawa's The Idiot she haunts the screen, and TOTALLY steals the show from Mifune every time she appears.

"No other actor has ever mastered the art of the smile to the same extent as Setsuko Hara (1920–2015), a celebrated star and highly regarded idol who was one of the outstanding actors of 40s and 50s Japanese cinema. Her radiant smile floods whole scenes and at times cautiously undermines the expectations made of her in coy, ironic fashion. Yet her smile's impressive range also encompasses its darker shades: Hara's delicate, dignified, melancholy smile with which she responds to disappointments, papers over the emotions churning under the surface, and flanks life's sobering realizations. Her smiles don't just function as a condensed version of her ever-precise, expressive, yet understated acting ability, they also allow the very essence of the films they appear in to shine through for a brief moment, often studies of the everyday, post-war dramas which revolve around the break-up of family structures or the failure of marriages. Her performances tread a fine line between social expectation and personal desire in post-war Japan, as Hara attempts to lay claim to the autonomy of the female characters she plays – frequently with a smile." [link]

Leading lady of classic Japanese cinema with a million dollar smile

Maybe the most iconic Japanese actress ever? She rose to fame making films with Yasujiro Ozu, becoming one of the most well-known and beloved actresses in Japan, working from the 30s through the 60s in over 100 hundred. She is still considered one of the greatest Japanese actresses ever, and in my opinion, just one of the greatest actresses of all time. And she was HOT! Satoshi Kon's film Millennium Actress was largely based on her life and her career.

Barbara Stanwyck:

"THE leading lady of the golden age of hollywood. One of the only actresses to work independent of a studio, making short-term contracts that enabled her to make movies wherever she wanted. She had so much range, and could act in basically any genre. She's been rumored to be a lesbian literally since she was active in Hollywood; most notable is the rumor that she had a long time on-and-off relationship with famously bi Joan Crawford, her "best friend" for decades (They lived right next door to one another). She also lived with Helen Ferguson, her "live-in publicist" for many years. She was the quintessential femme fatale in Double Indemnity, and really pushed sexual boundaries in her pre-code films like Baby Face, and the famous screwball The Lady Eve, where she plays basically a downlow domme. Allegedly, when a journalist asked her if she was a lesbian, she straight up threw him out of her house. She even played a lesbian in Walk on the Wild Side"

"THE queen of screwball comedies. I adore her, I'd kill for her, I will cry if she's not gonna win this poll."

"listen ok she had awful politics she was a mccarthyist right wing wacko BUT she's so incredibly hot that i've deluded myself into believing i could fix her. if you see her onscreen she carries herself in a way that's just so effortlessly sexy AND she has just a stunning face. imo she was at her hottest in the 1940s but even as early as the late 1920s she had a rly captivating screen presence and just a beautiful face, and then post-1950 she was just irresistibly milfy so really she was just always incredibly hot. she was also an incredibly talented actress who was equally stellar in melodrama, film noir, and unhinged screwball comedy. the blonde wig they made her wear in double indemnity is notoriously silly looking but she still looks sexy in it so that's gotta count for something. i've watched so many terrible movies just for a chance at seeing her that i think her estate should be paying me damages."

"Not often thought of for her sultriness, Barbara Stanwyck was incredible in that she could actually choose to be hot if the role called for it, and then have a glow-down to look ordinary for another role. She wasn't the most beautiful or effervescent, but damn did she have rizz. Watch her with Gary Cooper in Ball of Fire teaching him about "yum-yum" or with Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve whispering huskily into his ear."

"She is always the smartest woman in the room. Watching her play Henry Fonda like a befuddled fiddle in The Lady Eve was a highlight of my life. Femme fatale in Double Indemnity, comedy queen in Ball of Fire. She can do anything."

"She was part of my gay awakening"

"SHE'S A PRE-CODE QUEEN. She did everything, drama, comedy. The most beautiful woman in the world to watch weep. Beg for to step on you with those legs. Fun Babs story: Ginger Rogers was offered the role in Ball of Fire but said, “Oh, I would never play that part, she’s too common.” So they called Barbara Stanwyck and they said “We offered this to Ginger Rogers but she’s turned it down, would you be interested?” And she read the script and she said; “You bet! I LOVE playing common broads. [link]"

#barbara stanwyck #setsuko hara #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 4 #Youtube

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Act 4 Prologue (Azel Radwan)

Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies.

At the same time, in Tanzanite--

The throne room located on the palace's top floor was filled with the joy and excitement of the people.

Amongst the clamor surrounding the night, the immense full moon enveloped the people as if protecting them.

Azel: "Silence."

With just one word from the deity atop the throne, the people immediately fell silent, looking up at the god with awe.

His mystical eyes, filled with stars that seemed to belong to the night sky rather than a human, scanned the people with compassion.

Azel: "The divinations have revealed your fate. Under the divine will, you need to formulate a policy as soon as possible."

Azel: "It's up to you whether you want to utilize or disregard the mercy of the gods. Just don't disappoint me, for the heavenly moon is always watching over you."

As the current deity rose, the people who seemed lost in a daydream all kneeled and bowed their heads simultaneously.

Among them was a man wearing a crown.

King of Tanzanite: "We've prepared a banquet for you. Please, do join us."

Azel: "I appreciate the offer, but with a God present, you may find it impossible to indulge in wine."

Azel: "I shall take my leave, so do not concern yourselves. Ah, and a farewell is unnecessary. I dislike unnecessary fuss."

Azel: "Well, then, have a good night. May the divine grace be upon all the people."

As the fervor waned, the natural tranquility of the night returned.

The deity, walking with resolute steps, suddenly halted when a woman, a dancer, blocked his path.

Woman: "Greetings, esteemed deity."

Azel: "I've just said that your concerns are unnecessary."

The woman held a variety of banquet dishes, their enticing aroma filling the hallway.

Woman: "I apologize for misunderstanding the divine will. However, I thought perhaps you might not attend the feast tonight."

Woman: "This is a modest offering from me. If you would be so kind, may I serve you?"

Azel: "I appreciate your dedication. However, it's unnecessary."

Azel: "I'm in a hurry, so could you please step aside?"

Woman: "Please don't say that. After the lengthy divination, I'm sure you must be hungry."

Azel: "No, it's fine."

A rumble suddenly came from his stomach, momentarily disrupting the sanctity.

Azel: "Anyway, it's okay. Leave me be and go to the feast."

Woman: "Please wait!"

The woman attempted to block his path again as he tried to move forward forcefully.

Azel: "Ah, these clueless folks who just don't get it, no matter what you tell them."

Unaware of his muttered words, the woman stumbled over his foot while trying to approach and fell to the floor along with the dishes.

He looked down at the scattered food and the groaning woman without even offering a hand.

Azel: "Poor thing."

Woman: "Esteemed deity?"

Azel: "I feel sorry for the food that was wasted."

Despite smiling gently, his mysterious eyes seemed completely unconcerned about the events that had taken place.

Azel: "Lick it up."

Woman: "Eh?"

Azel: "It would be a pity if the food went to waste, wouldn't it?"

Azel: "Look, this soup still looks edible."

Azel: "If you crawl like a dog and lick it up, it won't be wasted."

Woman: "What are you…?"

Azel: "Of course, I'm a kind god, so I won't force you to do anything."

Azel: "You're free to follow or defy God's will."

Woman: "........."

Her hesitation lasted only a moment.

She lowered her face to the floor and began licking the spilled soup with her tongue.

As she repeated this several times, something suddenly happened.

The woman's skin gradually flushed, emitting a scent suitable for the night, and her heated gaze met his impassive expression.

Azel: "So you really did slip in an aphrodisiac. Your fortune for today seems to be very unlucky, doesn't it?"

Azel: "Ah, no. Perhaps it's actually very fortunate."

Azel: "Since your beloved god didn't taste it."

Woman: "Please have mercy."

He turned his back, keeping his distance from the woman who reached out to him.

Azel: "Feel free to please yourself all you want. Well then, I'll take my leave."

Azel: "It's already past my working hours, and working overtime is just out of the question."

Woman: "I like you! I'd do anything for you!"

Woman: "Would it be a sin for me to love you?"

Azel: "Let me tell you one thing."

Azel: "Gods don't love people because love is worthless."

Azel: "If you are willing to give me a fortune equivalent to Prince Silvio's, then I might consider it."

Azel: "But if not, it's unpleasant to even have you in my sight."

Woman: "........."

Azel: "Since it looks like you're not getting what I'm saying, let me make it clear."

Azel: "It's time for you to disappear. Get out of my sight, slut."

Woman: "Eeek!"

As if it were all a dream, his face lost all compassion.

With a coldness rivaling that of the desert night, he stared at the woman as if she were a bug.

Azel: "Your feelings are neither love nor anything of the sort. It was just the prattle of a depraved slut drowning in filthy desires."

This time, there was no one to stop his stride.

The god laughed and smiled under the divine glow of the full moon, devoid of mercy or compassion.

Azel: "This nation under the protection of gods is still living in a happy dream."

Azel: "Even though the day when this eternal dream shatters is approaching, I wonder if I'll ever be able to laugh at it."

☆ Ikepri Masterlist

#ikemen prince #ikepri spoilers #ikepri #ikepri jp #ikepri translations #azel radwan #ikepri azel

[thinkingotherwise]

Hi! I hope I'm not too late for a request but can you please do a head canon on Wind Breaker(satoru nii),Haruka(Platonic pls)& the Bofurin,Hajime,Hayato,Akihiko,Ren,Mitsuki,Kyotaro & Ren,with s/o who is haruka sakura's older sister, who is about 22 years old, she's a hikikomori, has the same personality as Haruka, unlike Haruka, she appreciates kindness & generosity, calls Haruka an idiot but has a heart even though they don't get along.Fem Haruka's older sister s/o, used to be a sweet kid to haruka, but somehow she got bullied due to not living up to high expectations as a girl & causes her to lose him & suffer trust issues who has no friends. Her personality is similar to zooble from the amazing digital circus pls. Sorry if this explanation is long.

No worries, write as much as you want. Though I honestly didn't know The Amazing Digital Circus and I watched the pilot just to get the feeling of Zooble's character. She's a MOOD. Also, I thought about making the reader hikikomori but I wanted her to live alone, so she came to be mostly social-distant and not keen on human interactions - I hope I captured the characteristics correctly. It's also more focused on platonic relationships. I hope it's still alright.

Wind Breaker characters x Haruka Sakura's older sister (mostly platonic)

characters as written in request: Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suou, Akihiko Nirei, Hajime Umemiya, Kyotaro Sugishita, Ren Kaji, and Mitsuki Kiryu TW: bullying (mentioned), manipulation (mentioned)

- As the older sister of Haruka, you were the one who got him into training martial arts and fights, it was you who first saved him from bullies when they laughed at his hair and eyes. - You were the only one whom he could go to for comfort and the only one who hugged him whenever he needed it. - With time you got into more and more fights helping your younger brother and because of that, you got bruises in more visible places making your parents lecture you each time and each time it was worse. - You got in a lot of trouble not only with your parents but also with your boyfriend at that time, who just like them thought that girls shouldn't fight and whenever he saw your bruises he yelled at you saying that you look awful. - You didn't talk about it with anyone, and maybe that was your mistake because, after the n-th time of hearing such horrible words, you gave up. You changed and vowed to never fight again leaving Haruka alone. - Your emotions were in turmoil seeing Haruka beat up and knowing he had to fend for himself, especially when your so-called boyfriend started having heated conversations with him, but you still didn't interfere knowing that it wouldn't please others knowing that you as a girl fought. You didn't want to disappoint them more than you already did. - After some time your friends and boyfriend started turning on you. Even though they pretended to be nice, they were manipulating and soon started bullying you. - Every interaction with them started making you irritated and annoyed but you kept it in for the time being and as soon as school finished you cut everyone off, moved out of your home, and found a small flat in the nearby town. - All those false relationships had an influence on you and made you socially-distanced, you didn't want to feel more betrayed and kept your interactions with other people to a minimum. - You spent most of your time at home, thankfully you got online job and didn't need to leave your house. The only people you kinda appreciated and talked with were your neighbours who always asked how you were doing and sometimes gave you some snacks but you never let them in keeping them at a distance.

Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suou & Akihiko Nirei - Now then during one of your shopping trips Haruka recognized you. He was at one of the patrols and the sight of you, who left him, got him angry. - Nirei and Suou tried to get some information from him but he pushed them away and went to confront you. They tried to calm him down thinking he was about to beat some woman. - You heard the commotion and looked in their direction. Surprised to see your brother you became uncomfortable and tried to quickly leave. - They grew louder as Haruka started calling after and stopped you. Your irritation was apparent and you tried not to show how awkward you also were to see your brother. - "What do you want, pipsqueaks?" - "Huuh?! Pipsqueak?" - Your brother got annoyed and started lashing out at you saying you left him and why are you even here, that you should go back to all these people you chose instead of him. - Your blood boiled at the accusations and you raised your voice too, telling him how awful you felt, how everyone was putting pressure on you, and how you were never enough for all of them. - The loud argument was cut off by Suou, who proposed talking it all out privately. - You reluctantly invited them home and told them about the issues you had and that you were sorry you had to cut Haruka out of your life. - He left that day mad at you and it took him some time before visiting again. - You didn't expect to see him again and what was even more surprising was why he came. - Haruka tried to be angry and he told you, you were a coward for running away like that but that if you want you can start talking again. - It made you happy but also flustered and you tried to deny needing him and others. - Somehow after this meeting, the guys started visiting you and tried to get you used to becoming social again. - Talking with Suou was very calming and his understanding nature really helped you open up slightly more to others. - Nirei, however, was the one to fluster you the most, saying that you were pretty cool, as soon as he got to know you were the one who ignited the flame and fight skills in Haruka. - You were grateful for what they did and how hard they tried for you, so you let them introduce some other guys from Bofurin.

Hajime Umemiya & Kyotaro Sugishita - For you, Hajime was one of, if not, the most annoying. - "What? Oh God, please no, I don't want to take part in any of your so-called family meetings." - You responded once again when he invited you to the cafe he frequented with friends. - Even though you tried to push him away he was sticking to you like a leech, constantly trying to make you see that you can trust people again. - He annoyed you so much and you tried to act tough and not be swayed by him but you would lie if you said he didn't grow on you. - His friend, Sugishita, however, seemed to be the complete opposite of Umemiya. - Your first meeting went so wrong. - When you first met him, he was in the middle of arguing with your brother, and seeing him ready to throw a punch awakened some protective instinct in you, that you felt a long time ago when it came to Haruka. - "What the hell, you better step the fuck away or I'll make you." - You stopped his hit gripping his fist and ready to beat him to a pulp. - "Hey, now, now let's calm down." - Thankfully Umemiya stopped you and cleared the situation between you and the first year. - After the next few meetings although still alert near Sugishita you found comfort sitting in silence next to him, he was a great escape from Umemiya and his constant yapping.

Ren Kaji - You met Ren once, maybe twice and both of them he ogled you as if judging your mood and emotions. - Then he would reach for his pockets and hand you lollipops. - Just like with Sugishita you appreciated the silence when you stayed near him. - Occasionally the silent sounds coming from his headphones, as he listened to the music, calmed you down and brought comfort to you.

Mitsuki Kiryu - Mitsuki seemed to be the one hardest to get along with, his style was loud and clashed so badly with your shut-in personality. - Surprisingly he made a good substitute for all the friends you had during your high school years, he wasn't false like them and he actually listened to your complaints. - Not to mention the late evenings you spent on "girls talk" when you felt more in the mood for some social interaction. - He'd always have all the newest gossip to share.

Tags: @misticbullet

#wind breaker (satoru nii) x reader #wind breaker (satoru nii) #wind breaker x reader #wind breaker #haruka sakura x reader #hajime umemiya x reader #hayato suou x reader #akihiko nirei x reader #ren kaji x reader #mitsuki kiryu x reader #kyotaro sugishita x reader

[dsireland86]

Take Me First PT. 2 (Never Know)

"Lying Is Hard But The Truth Comes Out Anyway" The Grey

A regretful mistake, a car accident, and a baby. God didn't listen to Noah when he begged him to take him first the night of the accident. God had other plans it seemed; plans that brought Noah down to his knees cursing, crying, and praying. In time he began to believe he was nothing but a lost soul trying to find his happiness in the ugly world he lived in, until... she found him and began to return the lost parts of him, piece by piece, he'd thought he'd lost forever.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the long awaited 2nd part to a story that was never meant to have a second part. But I'm very thankful to friends who encouraged me and highly suggested that I write one. I love how I came to tie this cherished story that began with three words from a song into my main two stories. It took some brainstorming, but in the end I don't think it will disappoint. To the ones I've tagged and were expecting the second part, I hope it's what you hoped it would me. Let me know!

TAGS: @lma1986, @myownthoughts12, @xslavicprincess, @foliosgirl, @glitterydeputyshepherdwagon, @jilliemiw86, @sthnog, @lookwhatitcost

Never Know

    “Show me you're better off without me/ Choking on every word you said, we'll see, we'll see / Don't breathe another word about me I'll leave and you can finally rest in peace, we'll see”

          The Letter She Never Meant To Send

Noah,

By the time you read this, I'll be gone. You have to understand that it's better for both of us this way, if I just vanish from your life and wipe your slate, your consciousness completely clean. Once you're finished with this letter I guarantee you will hate me and loath just the thought of me. My name will become a bitter poison on your tongue and the tongues of those who will no longer be my family because of their loyalty to you. You'll never want to breathe my name let alone any other words about me to anyone. I'm warning you now, Noah, what I'm about to tell you is going to ruin you. It's going to break your heart so badly you're probably going to wish you were dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but it's the only way. You have to know the truth about what happened during those three days in Montana on that last tour we were on together; you deserve to know, because it was the moment that everything changed for us. You're better off without me and in time you'll see. In time you'll be able to rest in peace. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noah:

“I didn't want to finish the letter. Knowing she was already gone was enough, and reading it, having it spelled out in front of me would’ve only made things worse. But I chose to finish it anyway but regretted the instant I did. I swear I could feel myself slowly slipping away as her words started to bring out the worst in her that I never knew existed."

I rested my forehead against the back of her shoulder.

“I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you were feeling. Being abandoned is hard, but the lonely place it takes you too is worse.” “You would know, wouldn't you,” I said while playing with her fingers. She leaned back against my chest while sitting between my legs. Turning her head at just the right angle she glided the tip of her nose softly along my jawline that filled with a deep yearning to be inside her again. “Not the same way you do.” I shivered when her lips left a trail of soft kisses on my skin. “Read me more, please. I want to know everything,” she urged. I sighed, and even though I really didn't want to, I knew sharing this part of my life was important for us. So, I continued.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Lying in between the memories choking me, and I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know”

The night you told me the truth about cheating on me, it broke me, but not in the way you might think. I was angry, full of guilt, relief, sorrow, and regret that created a huge mess of emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. Running was my only option. I had to escape the pain of knowing how horribly I'd hurt you and you didn't even know it. Noah, you were brave enough to be honest with me about what you did. You admitted your guilt and how ashamed it made you feel. You truly believed you'd hurt me and watching the way it tore your mind and heart apart left me in agony. I wanted to tell you the truth then, but I just couldn't bring myself to, so I took the coward's way out and ran away. 

I called Jolly and cried to him. He didn't understand anything I was saying let alone an idea of what I was talking about, but he did his best to console me anyway. The guilt I felt, knowing what I’d done to his best friend just made everything numb and blur together and with the way I was driving I didn’t see the headlights of the other vehicle in my lane. Jolly was still on the phone when I screamed right as the collision happened. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the hospital. So, what is the truth that was too hard for me to tell you even though I was given the chance to say many times? Noah, I hope you're sitting down, because what I'm about to say is going to be the death of whatever peace your mind had about me.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noah:

“Noah?” Her soft voice calling to me made me lower my head and when her hand collided with my cheek, her touch brought me back to reality. The past wasn't real, but she was, and so was the feeling of her naked body against mine. Turning herself around so that her legs were on either side of me and her arms were resting on my shoulders, she leaned in and kissed me, slipping her tongue inside my mouth little by little. She was making me so hard and I knew she could feel me between her legs, pressed tightly against that sweet soft spot of hers I loved so much. I couldn’t control the constant twitching that was happening each time she purposely pushed herself into me either.

"She knew exactly what she was doing to you and that’s what hurt you the most. I'm sorry she hurt you,” her voice whispered in my ear before she took a little bit of it in her mouth. “Ughh, fuck baby,” I moaned, squeezing her hips tighter and tugging her closer to me. “That’s what happens,” she said, brushing her breast up against me, her perky nipples grazing across my skin, making it scream. “You let people in and they destroy you. But I won’t.” She sat back and looked at me, the look in her eyes nearly making me cum. She had me wound up so tight that I swallowed hard when she pushed herself into me again and her warm, shaky breath washed over my face. “You deserve so much more than you believe you do, Noah.” Slipping her hands beneath the waistband of my box-briefs, I lifted my bottom up and she slid them down my legs, tossing them aside, retaking her spot over me. “I’ll give you the world, if you want it,” she admitted, laying her mouth on mine and taking my lips to hers as if she owned them; she did. “The moon, the fucking stars. Anything you ask, it’s yours. I’m yours. You can have all of me,” she confessed through a shaky, tear filled voice.

I pulled her way to look at her and my heart felt like it had busted through my chest. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but the prettiest smile on her lips. I sat up and kissed her tears away tasting their saltiness. “I want all of it,” I admitted, brushing some hair out of her face. “I want all of you, but not just what you let the world see. I want all the broken, busted up parts too; the parts that make you, you. I meant it when I said I would fight the battle for you. I would, I still will. If I have you, then you have all of me too.” She started to cry and I pulled her into me as she laid her head on my shoulder. I fucking loved this girl in my arms more than I ever thought possible. More than the girl in the letter, and that scared me.

After a few moments of silence had passed and I was about to continue reading, the warmth from her hand found my hard cock. Slowly she  ran her hand down my shaft, then back up, the grip she had applying the perfect pressure needed to stimulate what I was dying for on the inside. I laid my head back against the couch, zoning into nothing but the feeling of what her hand was doing. The faster she went the harder her grip became and reminded me of what being inside her felt like; heaven. I found her entrance between her wet folds and quietly slipped a finger inside her warm sex enjoying the way she melted into my touch and sucked in a quick breath, followed by a beautifully moan that filled the room. I felt her wetness coat my fingers, making me feel like I had all the power over her I wanted. The truth was though, she was the one with all the power. “I need to be inside you, now.” I ordered. She didn't hesitate to obey but instead shifted enough so that her pussy was aligned perfectly with my hard length.

“Noah, look at me,” she commanded and I listened. Her eyes were vibrant and full of something indescribable, something that I could never put into words; but I felt it and I knew she did too. “I fucking love you.” It slipped out before I could stop myself and I was scared I crossed a line. But her smile took that feeling away. It was genuine, and made me feel the exact way, if not more, I felt when I first saw her. “I love you too; all of you.” She pushed into me and took all of me into her and I watched her expression change as soon as I filled her. Her tight, wet walls closed in on my throbbing cock now buried deep inside her, searching for that special spot that was going to pull all the pretty cries and moans from her that I loved to hear. I gripped her hips, sighing once she began to move slowly, with her hands placed firmly on my chest. But I wanted more and I knew she did too. “I want you to grind on me, baby, ride me till you're satisfied. Ride me till you cum.”

That seemed to be all she needed. Soon I had her crying and moaning so loudly that she dug her nails deep into my skin, squeezed me tighter with her thighs, and let my name fall from her lips like a sacred prayer. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She pulled my hands to her small breasts, indicating to me she wanted stimulation and I all too willing obliged her. I took each nipple between my finger and thumb, squeezing them until she cried. Once hard and perky, I dragged my tongue lazily over the soft, delicate skin, circling and lapping every part until taking it in my mouth. Her moans pulled my organism closer and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Luckily, I didn't have too. Her hands found the back of my head, holding me in place while she fucked me slow and gently and I got her off by sucking my favorite parts of her. “Noah, baby,” she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't have to. I looked up, grinning at the face I saw. With eyes closed, she was in perfect ecstasy. “Are you gonna cum for me, Princess.” She didn't say anything, just moaned and nodded. “Cum for me then baby, let it go and give us both what we want.”

Her lips crashed into mine and our tongues danced as she came undone all over me and I quickly followed. It wasn't loud, it wasn't messy; it was just us, falling apart for one another together quietly. It was love making in its purest form and in that moment with her I realized the difference between straight fucking with foreplay and making love and how they were very different. We weren’t each other's first. She had a fucked up ex and I had many experiences that left me feeling used. But what she and I had just shared had so many emotions involved, ones that I didn't even know I could feel anymore. She pulled them out of me somehow and allowed me to willingly feel what I had buried away. They were tangled together, knotted and rooted in the dirt of my past. But, thanks to the beautiful human in my arms, for the first time in my life I felt the difference and wasn't afraid to feel them. She made me feel so fucking alive and I loved it. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Speaking in languages we can’t read, no need for you to spell it out for me/ Swallowed up and I’ spit you out, like a drug that just wouldn’t stay down"

Montana was beautiful, Noah, and the idea of visiting it with you was a dream come true. I'll never forget when you came home and told me that it was on the list of states the band was playing. Your excitement was contagious and the way your eyes sparkled and lit up your entire face will forever haunt me. It was one of the last times we were truly happy together. Those three days haunt me, Noah. They hold the worst, but also the best memories. So here it goes… the whole truth.

The first show day went smoothly; you remember I'm sure. We all went out and had a small celebration in that little country bar where Folio rode the mechanical bull until he bled… like seriously bled. I thought I was going to pass out seeing all the blood from his arm. The day of the second show, however, was utter chaos and hell. Everyone woke up late, the venue wasn't unlocked when we got there, and some of the equipment malfunctioned. You were miserable and because you were miserable, so was everyone else. I tried to help, but now know how worse I actually made it for you. And the moment you yelled at me in front of not just the crew but the guys too, I knew things were going to be different between us. It wasn't that you yelled at me, Noah, it was what you said that was the slap to my face. You accused me of being selfish and too self conceited to understand what you were going through, and you know what? You were right. I was, I am those things. And to prove I was, I decided to get back at you in my own way; the way I regret now more than anything. 

After storming out of the venue and turning my phone off, I found a bar away from the venue, away from every memory of you. I wanted you out of my head, but mostly out of my heart because I was hurting. So, the first guy who sat down next to me and bought me a few rounds was it. He was the one I chose to make my biggest mistake with. He took me back to his hotel room, which ironically was in the same hotel as ours, you were just one floor above me. I was too drunk to worry about anything, not even caring if the receptionist recognized me. 

Noah, I will save you the details of what I did with that man in that hotel room that night. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be, and in the end he left me hurting way more than when I started out. Not just emotionally, but physically too. Thankfully there were no marks on my body, yet, but the bruises would show the following day. I lied and said you did them to me and the look on your face was devastating. I felt like a piece of shit. Maybe I was. No, I know I was. I should burn in hell for what I did to you; what I said to you. You didn't deserve it. But the worst was yet to come when the events of the night you fucked some girl who wasn't me happened and you found out I was pregnant. Nicholas said at first you were too shocked, but when it was time for me to leave the hospital, Matt said it was all you could talk about; how you were going to be a dad and how you had so much faith that the baby would be the thing to tie us back together after your actions ruined us. It wasn't you who ruined us, Noah, it was me, but I couldn't tell you that. Not now. Not with a baby on the way. So, I kept my silence and avoided you as much as I could, using your cheating as the excuse. And I lied to you every day up until… well you know when. 

Losing the baby was never, ever the intention, that, I promise, you can believe. I never wanted any harm to come to my baby. But when I woke up last month at seventeen weeks pregnant in a pool of blood, I knew it was over. The lies could stop, the truth could come out and everything would be okay. Except it wasn't, was it? Losing the baby was too hard for you. It made you do things you regret doing and I regret watching, knowing I had the power to stop it all. I know the feeling of loss is still very raw in your heart. You're wounded and reading this letter, knowing I'm long gone, soon to be nothing but a distant memory you'd do anything to forget, is going to throw salt on that wound, but I think it's time for me to help you put your demons to rest. 

Noah, the baby…. the baby was never yours to begin with. I mean, honestly, think back to the first time we had sex after that fight. Think…. and you'll remember. If you don't let me help. You wore a condom, Noah and you filled it, but I lied to you and told you it broke because I was scared. The night I spitefully killed us in every way possible was the night I conceived another man's child. 

So, you see, none of it was your fault after all. It was mine all along. Did I feel guilt? Yes. Remorse? No. Not until now. Now that I’m walking away from you, I feel every bit of remorse possible, but it’s too late now, isn’t it. The you I knew and loved is gone and so is the girl you knew. And that’s the difference between us, Noah. You felt remorse and it made you so vulnerable. 

I hope the next girl you fall in love with is good to you. I hope she is never afraid of your darkness or the demons who dance in your eyes sometimes. I remember the time when you thought no one could ever love you if you revealed what lurks inside you. You’ve always been different, Noah, you know that and how could anyone understand that? But I hope she understands and is never afraid to follow you into your darkness so that she can learn to love the beast that’s inside. I tried to, but in the end I realized that sometimes, true love comes in the form of a loving demon, or a protective monster, or even a dark angel who sits and waits patiently for you to arrive. You are all those things Noah; and I hated you for it. I’m sorry I hated you, because now I know that you were the only one to ever, truly love me. 

                                     With All My Love, Always

                                                    Sarah

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noah:

I woke up, flat on my back, head off the pillow, but the blanket over top of me. As my vision cleared, Sophie was nowhere to be seen. My heart started pounding, thinking maybe she regretted last night; the things we did, the things I said. Was it all too much and she felt pressured or overwhelmed? I started to panic, running my hands over my face, trying to convince myself everything was okay, but it didn't help. I sat up, looking around for my shirt only to remember that I'd used it on Sophie, making me remember the corner I threw it in; it was still there.

I needed to find Sophie and make sure everything was good between us, especially now that she knew the truth about me and Sarah. I needed to know if she was still willing to commit herself to me, to us, with this kind of baggage attached, but first I needed a shower. My stomach suddenly hurt, the anxiety nipping away on the inside and it felt like there was a giant hole in me. I needed to fill that hole. I need my girl.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens band #bad omens #bad omens cult #matt dierkes #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio

[itsmm4hiii]

Devoted Obession. - R. Sukuna

Synopsis: (REQUESTED). Based on the song Fan Girl By Ghost Town. Sukuna is purely obsessed with a known worshipper that has in the past worshipped Sukuna as the only god she's ever known. Both obsessed and in love, Sukuna shows his intention to you but do you feel the same way about they Ryomen Sukuna? Pairing: Sukuna Ryomen X Female Reader

       

         He's hesitant as he explores unfamiliar grounds. His lips are tender on yours, gentle as if barely brushing against your lips. While you were drawn in you were quick to pull away. The end of the kiss was abrupt, instantaneous as you came to your senses. Something in which he lacked.

                    He had been seated at your waist, straddling your body, back arched so his face could be mere inches from you. Your arms are pulled above your head, your fingers loosely stretching the headboard as both your hands are seized by one sole hand of his. His other left hand previously played with strands and loose tuff of your hair before slipping to caress your cheek during the duration of the short lived kiss.

                    When his focus slipped he forgot he had bound your hands above your head under the weight of his hand. When you eased into the kiss, his whole body relaxed and what was left of his heart audibly skipped a beat when he felt the same affection he showed you being reciprocated. Though it was a cheap rouse by you to slip out of his binding grip.

'GOJO!' you shriek in the knowledge that the whole dorm floor would be woken up,

                    With force he's pushed onto his back, his head dangling over the edge of the stock standard bed all rooms within the dormitory had. His hands clench in the realisation that you had slipped his grip and was holding onto the residual warmthness that he had once lovingly embraced. He holds his head up, his eyes scatter across the ceiling in disappointment. Sukuna Ryomen knows it wouldn't be any much longer before Yuji switches with him and or Gojo Satoru appears to annihilate Sukuna for his actions.

                    Though you had pushed him off you he was still touching you. His upper body between your legs, while his waist sits on top of yours pinning your lower half down, due to you pushing him your arms have remained unpinned when he stretches out his body on top of yours. There's a heavy amount of silence in the room but the exterior communal hall is loud, overbearing feet sprint through the hall and pull on the door that's held in its place by furniture Sukuna had strategically placed. You know the sounds of those footsteps and disorienting voices, they belong to the only other female residents, Nobara Kugisaki and Maki Zenin.

                    In the slips of your focus, Sukuna sits between your parted legs, his hands within his lap. He's slightly comforted by looking down upon you, seeing you weak at the sight of him is a thrill only he knows. Through the outline of the sheets he can see your body slightly tremble in his presence, that consoles his disheartness of you pushing him away during his only kiss in the duration of his lifetime.

'Don't act like you didn't like it, you must have enjoyed it. Since you returned the favour... even if you enjoyed it deep down you still enjoyed it.' he teased, warping to the reality to suit his needs,

                    Flustered you sit up and move towards the headrest, you don't dare to stare in the direction of him though every atom of your body you can feel his unwavering stare upon you. You did subconsciously move into the kiss even when you didn't know why. It didn't mean that you wanted it to happen right?

Confused within your throats you let out a sigh, while you knew that he knew that you were confused you had to act like you it was your original plan all along, 'Whatever makes you feel better Sukuna Ryomen.'

'Still using my full name are you? Huh. It still shows how you're obsessed with me.' he mocks,

'Like I'd ever been associated with you, if anything you're the one obsessed with me.' you mutter,

                    It was the only time you met his eyes. They stare back with unexpected affection, something you thought couldn't exist in a soulless curse like Sukuna Ryomen. There's no signs of lust, just wishful thinking to exist within a world that he could somewhat achieve normality and a life where he's be forever consoled and loved in return by you. The left side of his lip is slightly bit to keep his emotions intact.

'I know you think of me from time to time like I do of you...' he pauses and moves forward, 'I know your little secret that you still worship me like a god.'

'They do say "don't meet your heroes".' chuckles an unknown voice,

                    Strangled by a grip on the collar of Yuji's shirt, Sukuna is forcibly held back by Gojo Satoru. A smiling Gojo, impressed by the revelation that he could dangle you in front of Sukuna to be controlled, proves to be exciting. His eyes glow slightly through his blindfold, dragging the weak body of Sukuna backwards toward Gojo. Before Gojo has the chance to say the last word, Sukuna switches out with Yuji and a sluggish head of Yuji Itadori rests on the stomach of Satoru.

                    Tossed over Gojo's left shoulder Yuji is still partially asleep, unable to understand the situation that just occurred. Gojo questions if you need to talk though you brush him off to get some sleep and make up a story about what happened rather than telling the truth. Staring at Gojo while telling him that you were kissed by a ten thousand year old curse was something that you wanted to keep to yourself. He leaves, reassuring you that if you need anything he's around.

. . .

                    How could you sleep after the events of yesterday? As your eyes watch the rippling surface of the much needed cup of coffee you begin to connect a few dots, placing pieces of the puzzle together to understand Sukuna's extremely personal obsession. Your mind concluded that there was one current answer. The town that you grew up in worshipped him as a god, the protector of the quaint little village, thus he's infatuated with the idea that you're some sort of fangirl of his. Some sort of devotee and love him for all his flaws, perhaps that what intrigued him first, second to everyone's need of companionship.

'Y/n I'm so sorry I didn't mean-' out of breath and in fear, Yuji tumbles into the kitchen worry and dread that his classmate hates him for something he didn't do scares him,

                    You smile at Yuji. You desire is to keep the actions of Sukuna to yourself and not worry anyone about what happened last night. You consol him, softly telling him that you didn't blame him and you were just frightened that Sukuna was standing over you in the middle of the night like a demon you'd seen in sleep paralysis, and that's all.

His head bows till strands of hair atop of his head softly touch the surface of the floor, 'I'm sorry Y/n.'

                    He was told off by Gojo, though as anyone can see you can only keep a curse in line before they start becoming rebellious.

'Itadori, it's fine, seriously. No hard feelings.' you reassure him,

                    Seeing the bright perky Yuji Itadori begin to appear from his apologetic self. You wrap your arms around him casually, your head softly nuzzled into his cheek as you hug him to overly reassure him. It's short of a hug. Only lasting a few seconds though the shortness was deceived by his presence. During the whole duration of the hug, you were distracted by Sukuna. Warranted it to feel a little longer was caused by Sukuna's mouth to form on Yuji's cheek that was pressed against yours. Unbeknownst to Yuji that Sukuna's face had formed there, Sukuna used it to his full advantage. His tongue lips feathered the skin of your cheek, smirking against your cheek as he did so. He allowed himself to fluctuate between quick kisses and long ones where his lips were left for a long duration of time.

                    When you pulled away he disappeared, smirking as the formation disappeared into Yuji's cheek. You don't know how the future will turn out, but if things go sour you will use your god, the Sukuna Ryomen and use him to your full advantage to get everything and anything you want. You smile softly knowing how you will manipulate your relationship with him to your ultimate benefit, but you couldn't help but question yourself. One that you couldn't solve and was left on the tip of your tongue, infuriated that you couldn't answer it simply. The question being...

                     Did you actually love Sukuna? 

#jjk fanfic #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #yn fanfic #jujutsu sukuna #sukuna x y/n #sukuna #jjk sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jujutsu megumi #jjk x reader #jjk #jjk fanart

[agroteraa]

I Wanna Be Your Dog

Oliver Quick x f!Reader

My fic masterlist

Summary: Oliver's memories of one of the evenings at Oxford, where you began getting closer. And a night in Saltburn, where you try to be dominant with him.

Actaeon series spin-off, taking place between Artemis and The Wrath of the Stag.

Warnings: smut, dom!Reader, sub!Oliver, switching, oral, penetration sex.

Word Count: 2,8K

It was another spring party at Oxford. All the young people were chatting cheerfully with bottles and glasses in their hands in the slightly dim light of the dormitory's common room. Felix and Oliver were almost lying relaxed on the couch and had been silent for some time.

“Now, can you eenie, meenie India or Annabel, and take one fucking home? Because they look miserable,” Oliver suggested softly.

“Eenie, meenie, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by his toe. If he squeals, let him go. Er..." Felix seemingly forgot the text of the counting-out rhyme, but decided to finish it as soon as possible and make a choice anyway, "You're out, boy scout!"

The choice fell on Annabelle. He happily pecked Oliver on the cheek in gratitude, which made him grin widely. Oliver liked being praised. Especially by those who were important to him. Felix quickly jumped up from the sofa and, lightly slapping the contented girl on the ass, and went off with her upstairs.

“Well, what the fuck, mate? I’ve been chirpsing her for about an hour. I wanted at least a hand job...” the guy Annabelle left said in disappointment.

An hour. What did he know about waiting. How about almost a whole year, mate? Oliver smiled indulgently to himself. And anyway, how shallow that guy thoughts and desires were.

“I know. We all want a fucking handjob, mate. Get yourself a title and a massive fuck off castle.”

That where it was hard to argue. A title and a massive fuck off castle had never harmed anyone in life yet.

"Hey, here I am! And where is Felix?.." you were surprised when you returned from your dorm room and sat back down on the sofa, only this time next to Oliver alone.

"I don't know really," he shrugged, smiling, "I think he’s decided to go have some fun on his own."

"Hmm," you pursed your lips, not really surprised, but still, deep down, a little upset that Felix was acting like that again. You guessed where and why he might have gone, but decided not to focus on that thought right now. Besides, you'd already poured another bottle of your drink into yourself. There was some silence in the air. Before that, you had fun talking to the guys, mostly Felix, and you had never been alone with Oliver for long, especially at parties. You clenched your bottle tightly like a social lifebuoy.

Oliver was even beginning to interest you a little, just a little, but you still had no idea what and how to talk to him in private. He still seemed more like Felix's shadow. But at the same time, being face-to-face for at least a short time, you felt like you had to tell Oliver something meaningful, something deep... as if you should be giving away to him some of your secrets. You were vaguely disturbed by this feeling, as now you were just in the mood for small talk only.

"Um... so… how’s your study going?" you asked, not knowing where else to start a new separate conversation with him besides studying.

"Pretty well," he replied a little awkwardly, embarrassed by your close presence himself. Before that, Felix separated you on the couch, but now he wasn’t a bother anymore. Oliver definitely liked this intimacy, even though he was obviously not used to it yet. But one gets used to the fine things quickly. And Oliver was greedy for all the new truly fine things in his life.

"And yours?"

"Yeah, too," you took a small sip from the bottle, trying not to look him in the eye. At the same time, because you felt awkward and because these blue eyes have been looking at you so piercingly lately, as if they were drilling right into your soul. You couldn't tell if it was embarrassing for you, or if it was some other kind of excitement. Maybe both.

"And what about yours..." Oliver was interrupted by one of Felix's many friends, Chad, who plopped down on the arm of the sofa next to you.

"Hey, Y/N! I finally got to the party on your campus! How are you?"

"Oh, Chad! It's been a long time, it’s like you've disappeared somewhere. Have you really been studying so hard lately?" you both laughed loudly at this very bold assumption of yours. You continued to communicate, actively exchanging the latest news. Over time, you felt guilty a little. You turned to Oliver and smiled at him. He smiled back understandingly. His face visibly saddened when you turned back to the blond guy. He began to examine the empty bottom of his plastic cup, twirling it slightly in his hands. How should he get Y/N's attention? He didn't know. He had to come up with a plan. What would he do, what should he say, so that you…

"Hey, Oliver! Did you have any classes with Mr. Wharton?" you asked with interest, involving him in your conversation. He exhaled a little as he realized that you weren't leaving him in the middle of this party, where he felt like a stranger without Felix and you. You looked at him with a warm smile, and something inside him finally clicked and fell into place.

"Er, yeah... that oddball. He constantly comes up with fruit analogies for everything and even sometimes speaks on their behalf while holding them in hands."

"Ah, have you seen that too?! Y/N, I told you, he's an old weirdo! Only you are attending the wrong classes!" exclaimed Chad, and you all laughed merrily. The conversation was going well, and Oliver was incredibly happy about it. He didn't feel lonely anymore because of you.

But in return, some feelings that he had only vaguely suspected until this moment began to awaken inside him. You didn't stop drinking, and at some point, Chad put his arm around you and started lightly stroking your back. You giggled without giving it much thought, especially under the influence of alcohol. But Oliver saw perfectly well how Chad looked more and more into your eyes, lowering his gaze to your lips and lightly licking his own. It was very subtle, but Quick noticed it all. The way his hand keeps stroking your back, gripping you tighter and tighter. Oliver saw it all perfectly well, because he wanted to be in that place himself.

No, rather, he didn't really want to. He had long imagined your first kiss when you were fully conscious, willing and not under the influence of some alcohol, when you were too much mellow-minded. And he wouldn't let your kiss with Chad happen now, in this state, nor ever.

Sometimes it seemed you and him were very different. He could see through everything, and sometimes it was like you notice none of what you really should. How could you not understand that this Chad wanted to take you upstairs just like Felix did with Annabel?

You were kind and open, maybe even too friendly, oh, Y/N. Oliver was drawn to you like a moth to a fire. You were quite a complete and content person in your own right, and this was very attractive to the many-faced Oliver, who was still struggling to find a place in this life, especially here, in his first year at Oxford.

And it seems that he began to realize that he had found his place next to you. And he wanted to take this place like a guard dog, protecting it and you from all the adversity and guys like Chad.

You didn't forget about Oliver and wanted him to feel fine and less lonely, even hardly knowing him, even having so many friends and acquaintances here, even in the midst of fun of the party. You showed towards him attention and care.

Yeah, he would like to be your dog, he thought now.

Fortunately, you soon got up, freeing yourself from Chad's embrace and going to the bathroom. Great. Oliver had been carefully observing the situation in the common room all this time, so he immediately got up from the sofa and sauntered into the common kitchen, where India was smoking, still slightly displeased that Felix had not chosen her.

"How’s the party? " Oliver asked politely, grabbing a can of beer from the fridge.

India rolled her eyes, twirling a cigarette in her fingers, "What do you need?"

"Me? Nothing. But that guy has been looking at you half the evening without stopping," he nodded towards Chad and winked, "Just saying."

"Isn't he hanging out with Y/N?"

"No, he doesn't sleep with his buddy Felix's old friends. So, the way is clear."

"Oh, are they friends with Felix?" India narrowed her eyes. That was good, she needed some male attention right now, especially from those whom Catton Jr. might become jealous of. Thus, the girl went off towards her chance.

When you had returned to the common room, you saw Chad and India flirting with each other on the couch, and the girl did not let go of her hands off him. Okay. That was unexpected, but okay, it was a student party, after all. You shrugged your shoulders and started thinking about where you could sit now.

"Everyone seems to be having fun with each other tonight," Oliver, who happened to be next to you, shrugged sympathetically. Indeed, everyone around was busy with their own lively conversations, and someone was already far from just "talking".

"To singles?" he offered a playful toast, and you agreed with a grin, "Apparently so!"

"Cheers!" you clinked your drinks, continuing to talk a little more relaxed with each other. So, that how you started getting closer from that evening, and you began getting to know the real Oliver. At least that was what you thought at the time. He looked at you with a shy smile of a complete adoration as you were telling your stories full of joy and tipsy giggling. His eyes were shining like two starry sapphires right now.

If a guard dog wants to protect the peace of its owner and scare away other dogs, then it must inspire fear itself. Maybe sometimes not very intentionally, but instill just a little fear and sense of power even to its own master. Oliver wanted to be a good guard dog.

He would take this place next to you.

* * *

And he took it.

Now he was hovering over you, pinning you between his arms, leaning on your bed in your bedroom in Saltburn. It was the middle of the night, and finally not a single one inhabitant of this house could bother you right now.

Oliver thought all day about how he would continue his way with you at night, along the way remembering the evening of that party in Oxford, where you finally began to get closer. He looked down at you rapturously, biting his lip and breathing heavily, still not believing that all this was really happening. Not just right now, but in general, everything.

His blue eyes were gleaming with utter delight in the dim.

"What else does my sweet Y/N want?" Oliver asked you, recovering his breathing.

He bent lower, and a chain dangled from his neck, swaying slightly. The metal heated by the warmth of your bodies tickled your lips slightly. You lifted your head and gently but firmly catching the chain with your lips.

"Mm-hmm," Quick mumbled with curiosity. You smiled, gritting the chain with your teeth and began to shake it slightly from side to side. He opened his lips excitedly, inhaling sharply.

"Am I your doggie today? Oh, I'm more than willing to be, sweetheart," he said in his deep sexy accent.

He wanted to add "now and always," but didn't. Oliver was afraid that if he showed how willing he was to obey you, he would lose your interest. He was used to changing masks, adapting to different situations and someone's needs. He was an awkward and shy nerd when you first met, and that was largely true, because of his deep core nature and the new posh environment at Oxford. Fortunately, he had successfully joined Felix's company and was able to relax a little. And here in Saltburn, he almost felt like the master of the situation.

If you wished, he would always be that sweet, shy and awkward guy for you, if only you were truly happy about it. But he had learned that he interested and intrigued you mostly when he showed a more powerful, dominant and somewhat even dark part of himself. And that made him really pleased, because you viewed him the way he hoped to be in his own deep wildest dreams.

And yet, he still wanted to be your dog, an obedient dog who would do anything for you. In a sense, he was. And today he decided to demonstrate you that in more obvious way.

"What do you want me to do? I'm all yours," he leaned back next to you, belly up. Oliver smiled playfully. Right now, he was a tiger who had been caught by the toe with his own permission.

Biting your lip, you straddled him, sitting on his thighs. After enjoying this view, you ran your hand from his navel, sliding your fingers up the groove between his prominent muscles. Oliver exhaled sharply. You stopped at his neck, grabbed his chain, and pulled him to you. Now the guy was in a sitting position, he looked at you adoringly while his hands slid over your waist.

Without letting go of one hand from the chain, you slowly rose and began to descend on his cock. Oliver hissed with satisfaction, "Yes, my dear, just like that..."

"I didn't let you talk," you pulled the chain slightly, smiling slightly.

"Oh," he said in surprise, but gladly began to obey you, nodding in agreement.

You began to move slowly on his things, while Oliver's strong hands supported you with ease, guiding you, leaving hot prints on your skin.

His hands were all over you as his lips feverishly kissed everything they could reach. Finally, he reached for your lips, covering them with a hot kiss full of saliva, admiration and arousal.

When you broke the kiss, you said, a little hesitantly, but still firmly enough, "Take your hands off, next time you touch me when I tell you."

Oliver smiled enthusiastically – you learned quickly from his example, apparently. He liked the hint of his own power and dominance reflected on himself now through you.

He obeyed your request, although it was getting harder to fulfill it by every passing minute. He wanted to touch you again, guide your body and push it harder on his hard needy cock. It became unbearable after a while, and he whined a little. He looked at you a little pleadingly, but you nodded no.

He kissed your breasts again, but in response he got "Do not touch at all."

"Only I can now," with these words, you ruffled his hair and pressed harder against his shoulders. He groaned at the inability to touch you at all, it was a new sensation, or rather, its absence.

You grabbed his hair, and he put his head closer, burying it in your hand. It was the only chance to touch you in any way. Oliver closed his eyes and inhaled noisily through his nose. He didn't even mind if you squeezed his hair even harder, hell, maybe even poked his face into the sheet, where he would inhale the scent of your arousal. If you had forced him to lick it off, he would have willingly obeyed, as long as you continued to press his face to the bed, clutching his dark curls. He even imagined doing the same with the bathtub you were lying in lately. In his bathroom. This thought turned Oliver on even more.

Degrading him, talking him down, pulling his hair or chain harshly - he would not always like to be in this role, but he would like to give you that opportunity from time to time. If only you'd asked. And even if you hadn't asked. Because it was you. And because he was like that.

Reaching the peak almost at the same time, you dug your nails into his back deeply, which made Oliver's eyes darken slightly and starry at the same time. With a pleased moan, you released your grip and sank down onto the pillows. But that wasn't all of it, and you decided to play the role given to you to the very end.

Clutching his soft dark hair, you moved his head to your thighs. He looked back at you with hazy from own rapture eyes.

"Please," you said softly, still not being able to be dominant enough. But this sweetness and dissimilarity from his own, even in a situation where you could and should do it, but asking instead, drove Oliver crazy to his limit. He attacked you with a growl, delivering all the pleasure he could possibly give to you that night.

* * *

Oliver was lying with his arms around your lower back, his head resting on your stomach. Quick looked faithfully into your eyes. His face reflected the moonlight of the deep quiet night that was now in Saltburn.

You stroked and scratched him behind the ear, he rubbed his nose contentedly against your smooth belly skin.

"Is my mistress happy?"

"Yes," you laughed, started to play softly with his hair.

"Then I am happy too," he said, closing his eyes and rubbing his cheek against your soft belly, "Now and always."

#oliver quick x reader #oliver x reader #saltburn #oliver quick x you #oliver x you #saltburn imagine #oliver #oliver quick #oliver quick smut #oliver quick fluff #oliver quick imagine #saltburn 2023 #saltburn fic #saltburn smut #saltburn x reader #saltburn x you #barry keoghan #barry keoghan smut #barry keoghan x reader #barry keoghan x you #barry keoghan imagine #felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix x reader #felix catton x you #felix catton smut #felix catton fluff #felix catton imagine #felix #jacob elordi

[redsparrow2117]

"The End of the World is a Product".

I don't normally make....any posts, but the Fallout show, and some of the response to it has me wanting to actually put some words down here. There will be spoilers for the Fallout show if you want to avoid that.

Several people whose opinion I respect a lot have their own thoughts on the show, Amazon making it, and general disappointment with where Fallout as an IP has gone in the several decades it has existed. I agree with a lot of these statements and think that Fallout peaked with New Vegas, and Bethesda's ownership and usage of the IP has been uninspired at best.

That said, I did watch the show. And generally, I liked it. I have some complaints (like, wtf if the Brotherhood even doing? Who is really in charge? The writers *blew up* the NCR, just like that? For....some reason?) The main thing I have an issue with, is the dissonance between the message of the show, and the company that made it.

I think the parts that really made the show were Coop's flashbacks to before the war. I love his character, so much. And from Coop, The Ghoul, I get my dissonance.

We see him interacting with general Hollywood. It's basically the same as ours. Despite what Some People(tm) will say, Hollywood is a tool of the United States Machine. An extension of the country's will. Coop is making a cowboy movie, one of many he has made. He expresses being uncomfortable with his new movie's seeming obsession with killing, not wanting his character to kill the villain when he is begging for his life. The director tells him "people want to see a good man pushed too far." We see later, after the war, Coop made the movie the way the director wanted.

Coop's wife works in marketing, or something like it, for Vault-Tec. Coop likes the idea of the Vaults at first. Save people from the end of the world. Good stuff, thinks Coop. He was in the Marines, fought at Anchorage. He believes in protecting people and his country. So when his wife asks him to do an ad for Vault-Tec, he says yes.

Very quickly, he leaves making movies, and basically now works for Vault-Tec. Has a big party, invites a bunch of his friends, and only one of his acting friends shows up. Says everyone else declined on moral grounds, because they don't like Vault-Tec, and all the other mega corporations working with them or around the world. Coop's friend mentions he sold his voice/a character he created to the company that makes Mr. Handy's, and how everyone and everything is a product now, and embracing that is the only way to make money anymore. "You're a product, I'm a product, the end of the world is a product."

Coop later meets one of his acting friends, Charles Whiteknife, to talk about the party and why he didn't go. Charles brings up Vault-Tec, the mega corporations, and "Fiduciary Responsibility". I never, ever, in my mind would think a Fallout show, executive produced by "Thanks" Todd Howard, would bring that up.

Charles lays it out for Coop: Vault-Tec makes money selling Vaults. If they want to make money, then everyone's fear of the end of the world is really what is for sale. The end of the world is the product.

So no peace talks to calm down the war between the US and China. No safe feeling. They need fear. They want to make money, so you cannot feel safe. We see a prelude at Coop's earlier party: two Vault-Tec executives are talking about heading off those exact peace talks before anything definite is done so quarterly profits go up. Even the president is mentioned as missing, but that could be a kidnapping or a reference to the Enclave.

Coop doesn't want to believe that. Why would his wife work there if that was the case?

We see, as the flashbacks go on, how much she knows, but won't give away. She needs her job so her family can get into "one of the good Vaults". Coop ends up spying on a meeting between his wife, a Vault-Tec exec, and a bunch of major corporations and private entities. A nice cameo set up for big fans. We see West-Tek, Big MT, ROBCO, all of them. Vault-Tec wants them to buy into the Vaults, so they can make money.

So they can control the end of the world.

They think a total monopoly in the post-apocalypse will save the world from war.

Then the real reveal: Vault-Tec, in order to make guarantees on their experimental Vaults, and to make guarantees to the investors, is going to drop the bomb. Maybe not all of them, but definitely start the Great War.

Because it will make them money now, and when the world is over, they can rule over the ashes with a gaggle of experimented-on, traumatized survivors, brainwashed to do what they want, and led by the preserved executives that helped end the world.

"Well, thanks for the spoilers, RedSparrow, but what is the point?"

Well, when people write about the future, like George Orwell did in 1984, or Ray Bradbury in Fahrenheit 451, or even Suzanne Collins in Hunger Games, they weren't really writing about the future. They were writing about the problems they dealt with in their present, exaggerated to make them stand out.

"What happens when the cattle ranchers own half the town?" Charlie Whiteknife asks Coop when they meet at the bar.

"The town burns down."

"Exactly. The ranchers are in charge now."

This isn't really new stuff for Fallout, if you have played any of the games beyond 3,4, or 76. (Hell, 76 tries to act like Vault-Tec are the good guys for some stupid ass reason.)

We now live in that moment. Maybe we didn't when Fallout 1 came out, or maybe it was easier to hide then. At this point, it's nearly impossible to really ignore, and anyone saying that is incorrect or a good thing is just burying their head in the sand to avoid the truth.

Maybe we don't have Vaults, or Vault-Tec, but we have Amazon, selling us everything and grinding employees to dust on vague promises of earning a living.

We have our own ROBCO, and the CEO of our version of ROBCO bought Twitter because his ex left him for a trans woman and is currently trying to sell losers online his idea of a sex bot and shitty cars that rust and explode.

We have social media monopolies that live off of hate-engagement and spreading fear. Hell, the US government is banning social media platforms they can't control, and privatizing things like internet access through Starlink. Elongated Muskrat tried to cut off Ukraine's access to it after one of their generals told him to shut up and stop sucking up to Russia.

None of this is new. I'm probably sounding like your weird boomer uncle online right now.

But your weird boomer uncle doesn't think they will end the world.

But they will.

So here's the dissonance I struggle with: why is Amazon, one of the many companies enshitti-fying everything right now, making a show that tells you the plan?

It's easier to imagine the end of the world, than it is to imagine the end of capitalism, so the saying goes.

But the end of the world is the plan of capitalism. That's the end goal.

And it's wild to me that the Fallout show, made by Amazon, is the one telling us this.

#fallout #fallout spoilers #the ghoul

[ferosmorningstar]

defending Lilith? the bad mother and the seems to be villain of the next season? sucks to be you

Not gonna make any drawing on this. cause is pointless and it didn't deserve the time and effort.

*takes a deep breath*

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT LILITH YET. And who the FUCKING hell told you she's just the only one who we have to blame? I really love Lucifer but know he also fucked things up in his marriage. and I was in his particular situation ages ago so I can get it. That makes me think that he have the same amount of guilt as Lilith because that's how relationships works sometimes, not everything would be perfect forever and Im sure as hell you never had to deal with something like this before.. But hey, it takes two to tango. And Lucifer seems to be troubled and depressed for his previous decisions. So this is my thoughts about the situation:

I think Lilith got angry and disappointed of Lucifer for the same reason he said to Charlie ''There's no point in trying to save sinners''. I think Lilith get so discouraged because the person she love didn't grant her the trust and support to help her people and the breaking point was when he maybe said something to Charlie that in the pilot made her said ''maybe dad was right'', and of course that he agree to let the exterminations happen. That's why she didn't let Charlie get close to Lucifer, to not let him discourage her in any way cause Lilith seems to raise Charlie at her image. I want to believe Lilith is not a bad person but she's very fierce in defending what she wants and believes. And of course I don't believe she's a bad mom at all since she seems to enjoy raising, love and caring for her child as in all the pictures they have and how Charlie speaks so highly of her makes you see that Lilith didn't abandon her as a child or anything like that, Lilith left knowing she raise a very brave young princess to follow her dreams . So that's why Lucifer now sees that it is not pointless to care about his daughter dreams even if he doesn't believe in it at first. Trying to reconnect with her because at the end both are big dreamers but he didn't get to know her too much until now. Also believe it was a bad move of Lilith to not let Charlie know her father better but if you think of it, she's trying to make her not rely in anyone but her own courage and conviction to be independent as her mother is. I would love to see the regal queen of hell is also a goofy dreamer who would do anything in her power to make her daughter dreams come true.

Even if the Lucilith ship makes me so happy I will accept if they won't get together again. Cause sometimes being apart for the sake of the other person it's also love. I really hope they get together .. but still I won't blame any of them if that never happens. And also hope they won't make her the villain just for the sake of drama

so stfu hater and have a nice day.

(sorry for my bad english, is not my first language)

#hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucilith #lilith morningstar #hazbin hotel

[oatmilk-vampire]

Watcher TV

I literally don't have Prime, Hulu, Netflix, Max, Paramount, etc. as is because I can't afford it. I have no cable.

As a writer, I do believe creatives should be compensated but at the same time there's no way I can afford Watcher TV.

If this is what's right for them then they should at least leave their Youtube videos up instead of deleting them.

Another thing, if they want to be successful, they better be prepared to release lots of content frequently because the aforementioned streaming services have countless media to watch. Watcher can't survive on one or two episodes a week, if that much.

Especially because they'll be losing their international base as well. Which sucks for those fans. I'm so sorry.

Very disappointed. I wish y'all the best.

#watcher #watcher entertainment #watcher tv #ryan and shane #shane and ryan #ryan bergara #shane madej #steven lim

[richardsthirdnipple]

I see Laena casting discourse again. They really did age her up unnecessarily, and I do think it was to communicate how bad the whole picking child bride thing is while making her a suitable (young) match for Daemon. I genuinely remember the sheer disbelief that she was teen Laena.

Milly and Emily are Rhaenyra and Alicent from ages 14 to 20, respectively, somewhere in that timeline they become Emma and Olivia's versions of the characters. Nova is Laena from 12 to about 15, and then from 16 to 20-ish, she's played by Savannah, who then passes over to Nanna until 26, Laena is at best 26 when she dies. It's a less similar time frame for Laenor who , as much as I love young Laenor, should've been played by the same (teen) actor as he and Rhaenyra are the same age.

Back to Laena, I think they should've just casted younger and kept 1 Laena for youth and one Laena for adulthood like the other girls. Yes, she's younger but not young enough to need that much of a difference between episodes 1 and 5. I'm not promoting the sick comedy of Daemon and Youngest Laena, but that's the general point. You can't want to show the world we're in with Viserys and Rhaenys and then falter when it's Daemon's turn. Those actresses do not have a 4 year age gap. Even casting an older actress in both parts but changing their styling would make sense.

I'm not upset because I adore every Laena actor. They looked and found the prettiest actors they could, and they DIDN'T DISAPPOINT, but it was biased storytelling.

I think this was a case where hiring a young actress and allowing costumes and acting to tell a story would've worked beautifully.

Another way it would've worked was seeing as production and filming takes so long, hiring a young actress and filming baby laena at the start and teen Laena at the end of filming.

Are there no black 14/15/16 year old actors to hire?

I also don't like the fact that they cast Laena with much older actors when they are done with that initial point.

Nova is 14 now, and Savannah is 28. Nanna is 37.

They were 10/11, 25/26, and 34/35, respectively, while filming.

Respectfully that's insane.

They are playing 12, 16, and 26.

It's a clear oversight and is weird because yet again, they didn't consider the implication of a 16 year old black girl going after a 30+ year old prince. Or the idea of going from casting Laena with an actress younger than her age to two actresses a decade apart from her canon age.

Anyways: Casting 101

When 2 actors represent the spectrum of ages, your character is at (10 to 26), maybe cast between them for a teen version.

I don't like the inconsistent casting. I genuinely think the only reason I don't hate it more is because of the fact that the inconsistent costumes piss me off more.

No hate to the actresses again. This is about character continuity and not at all a reflection of their performances. They are our Laena's and the reasons we wish we got more of the character.

#hotd #house of the dragon #laena velaryon #lady laena #laena casting #hotd casting #weird age consistency #something very nefarious is at play #idk why I put kyleigh there but she's a good actress so.... #hotd meta #its all so weird

[thefruitiestofbois]

We just needed time- pt2

"Maria I'm going. It's final." My tone is icy as I make my point. I stand by my decision and I'm not turning back now.

"It isn't safe. You don't know how many of them there are- in fact you don't even know where you're going."

"Seattle. That's where I'm going." I counter and Maria slams a finger down onto the table in disapproval. Mostly she's frustrated that I'm insisting on going alone. It would be safer that way, less chance somebody else dies because of me.

"Deep down you know that it's better I get to them first before they come back with bigger numbers. Before they come back to Jackson. It's safer." She holds my gaze, nostrils flared, defeat crawling up her face. "You can't stop me." I add before she swipes her greying hair behind her ears as Tommy offers a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. Almost as if to tell her that all three of us in the room know I'll just sneak out without her blessing. Two weeks ago Dina and I ran into a group from Washington looking for a smuggler and a girl. They told us they weren't looking for trouble and that they just wanted to know where a man by the name of Joel Miller was as well as the girl he smuggled. Obviously, we both said nothing. Didn't even tell them he was already dead because Abby, who I assumed was the leader, seemed to be on some kind of vengeance mission. She seemed disappointed that we didn't know him and not the type of disappointment where she wishes she could just reunite with him, but the type that was fuelled by vengeance. She looked pissed. If reading the room hadn't been enough, the day after, when I tailed them to the mansion, I overheard Abby telling some Owen guy that she would be back and that she'd 'storm Jackson and find Joel and Ellie, no matter the cost'.

I've been battling Maria for the past two weeks and avoiding Ellie. Not that avoiding her was difficult to do, she seemed to be doing the exact same. If I could go to Seattle and tell them Joel was already dead, maybe Jackson would be safe. Maybe Ellie would be safe. That was my redemption. Maybe if I couldn't keep Joel alive, I could keep Ellie out of harm's way. I wasn't looking for forgiveness, I knew Ellie would never give me that, but maybe I could earn her neutrality to replace the hatred she had for me. Or maybe I wanted to replace the hatred I had for myself.

"Just let her go, she'll probably be fine." Tommy soothingly attempts to convince her. She forces out a huff of angry air and just nods.

"Thank you." The hint of desperation in my words softens Maria's authoritative demeanour and she walks around the table and tugs me into a hug. A tight one at that and I wrap my arms around her, a silent cue that I'll be okay.

"You better not get yourself in trouble, or so help me God I will kill you myself. You got that?" I hum and head straight to the stables.

Ellie coincidentally happens to be returning from patrol when I'm loading up my saddles for what anyone could tell to be a lengthy journey. I had told Tommy to convince Maria to clear my house out just in case.

"Where are you going?" Ellie asks and its the first words she's spoken to me since our patrol a few weeks ago. Maria knew something was off so she didn't pair us together after that, especially after Dina and I's run in with the WLFs.

"Seattle." With that I mount my horse and ride out, not explaining myself further and leaving Ellie and Jackson behind me.

//

Gunfire and screams echo in the distance towards the direction of a stadium or arena. Conflict seemed to be pretty common and from what I've gathered after spending a few weeks in Seattle on my solo adventure, I've learnt a few things. There are two groups- the Scars and the Wolves, who I presumed were the WLF. They hated each other to the point where it was kill on sight. I'd been caught in the crossfire a few times, nothing major though, just flesh wounds. I've also learnt the Scars are some kind of cult and they worship some prophet, whose murals were scattered throughout Seattle. I had just come through a quarantine zone and a hotel with the WLF banner paraded on the front. The buildings here were tall and close together- great for hiding but horrible to navigate through.

My plan was to find a patrol and peacefully offer myself up but so far everyone has trigger happy, even at the snap of a twig. Seattle was at war, that much was obvious but the cause was still unknown to me. Not that I cared. I was here for Abby and the Wolves. The faster I could deliver my message, the faster I could go back to Jackson.

Everything was darker in Seattle, the clouds, the blitzed buildings and roads and even the plants and grass were a dark green. As I wade through the overgrown bushes in some park I stumbled into on my way to the hospital, a whistle further away on the opposite causes me to instinctually duck to cover. Seraphites. I was wondering if I'd encounter anymore of them. I go prone, keeping my body glued to the mud no matter what.

"We caught the apostate and the wolf. All that's left is to free them. May She guide us." That's all I make out as I crawl behind a barely recognisable bus stop, screwing my silencer onto my pistol, just in case. Another whistle, sharper this time, breaks the silence and I'd come to recognise it as a warning whistle, Well a warning for me and a signal to the other Seraphites that someone was hiding nearby. And then quiet. So quiet I held my breath just so I wouldn't be heard. Finger ready on the trigger I begin slowly creeping out behind the cover of the bus stop, and upon seeing the coast is clear, launch myself for the park exit.

"Right there by the bus stop!" I hear one of them call out but I don't look back as I race, chest heaving, to just make it out of here. But then I hear a bow firing and very quickly afterwards feel the searing hot pain of an arrow ripping through my right shoulder. Another bow fires an arrow into my left calf and I drop to the jagged concrete below, breath staggering as I clutch my shoulder which was now pooling blood through my shirt and jacket. I crawl as fast as I can away from the thumping footsteps that are getting closer with each passing second. I grunt out, clutching my shoulder tighter as agony rips through me as I aimlessly crawl forward.

The thumping stops by my ear and a strong hand throws me onto my back, knocking the wind out of my chest. My dazed eyes meet ones with a satisfied sadistic glint accompanied by scarred cheeks pulled up as his lips curve into a smile.

"Look's like we've caught another Wolf for us to free."

//

As I stir awake, I wince as my restraints pull my arms back behind a wooden pole and widen the wound in my shoulder.

"Look's like the wolf is awake." The same man who knocked me out in the park pokes me with a wooden bat, forcing my attention onto him.

"How many times do I have to say it, I'm not a WLF." My voice barely makes it through my chapped and busted open lips and even then it was barely a whisper. This was routine- the man, who I now knew was called Marcus, would come in every night, rough me up, ask me questions and then acquaint me with his bat every time I answered a question wrong. And apparently, all my answers so far were wrong. I think seven or eight days must have passed since the day they caught me. Maybe more. I don't know because I hadn't exactly been conscious the whole time I was here.

"Where is your leader?" He asks, fingers twitching around the handle of the bat, which by now I'm sure had been stained red with my own blood.

"Like I said before, I'm not even from this state so I have no idea what you cultist freaks are talking about." This time a faint echo of a laugh escapes my lips. Same questions, same answers, same beatings. I think I was starting to lose it. And as if Marcus knew his cue, he raises the bat, this time swinging into my side and I cry out but quickly gritting my teeth so he doesn't get the satisfaction. I fold into myself as much as my restraints and position on the floor allow me to. If I ever get out of here, I'm gonna swing that bat into his head so many times that he'll be a pile of bloody brains and wooden splints by the time I'm done with him.

A woman comes into the room and whispers something to Marcus and he seems somewhat disappointed and angry I think? The room itself was a shipping container turned into a makeshift interrogation/torture room. A single floodlight at the back of the room that always lit up Marcus' face while leaving me an aching shadowy creature for his amusement. Although I think he'd have no issue with inflicting pain even as he looked into my eyes. My head dips low as the exhaustion I've been fighting off for days finally creeps up into my eyelids.

I wince again as Marcus prods me in the same bruised spot he hit earlier and I jolt awake.

"No time to sleep wolf, we're taking you to be freed." Call it a hunch but I don't think my version of being freed and theirs matches up. Marcus keeps a gun trained on me as the woman unties me, not even bothering to lift me up fully before dragging me by the back of my collar out the container and over muddy tracks further into the forest. Dirt scrapes into the tips of my worn out boots and the more she tugs at my collar, the more I feel my airways constrict and my head getting lightheaded. It's only when she throws me into the ground and I finally see the sky for the first time in a week that I regain some of my senses. Adrenaline surges through and every hair on my body stands up as corpses of gutted prisoners swing above me, some with their necks snapped as a rope is the only thing keeping them in the air. Well shit. I guess I'm not getting out of here. Like ever.

Another prisoner gets thrown into the ground next to me and when I meet their eyes, I'm shocked to see the one face I had set off to Seattle for- Abby fucking Anderson. She stares at me blankly for a few moments before the realisation sets in.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She laughs in disbelief, eyes still blown wide.

"Well as luck would have it, I actually came to find you."

"Me? What do you want me-"

"Shut the fuck up!" The high shrieking voice of a woman orders us and I tilt my chin to get a look at her. Dread slowly freezes every muscle as I see her wipe her bloody knife with a cloth- a knife she had just pulled out of a strung up girl. The girl, who was still swinging, must have been no older than twelve. These sick fucks were torturing and gutting children. Throwing the cloth into the fire they'd set in a barrel, she edges towards us, calmly. She remained expressionless even as she knelt down to push the tip of the knife into my throat- enough to draw some blood but not enough to do any real damage.

"You have such beautiful features." The cool tip of the blade glides across my cheekbones and jaw.

"Beautiful enough to spare my life?" I was grasping at smoke but there's no rule dictating what someone can and can't say in their last moments.

"I see this one has a sense of humour. I think She will be pleased with sacrifice." Well that was not where I was hoping she was going. "Who knows maybe you might have the blood of Restoration flowing through you." These people are batshit crazy.

"Restoration?" I ask, genuinely baffled and Abby's attention is also drawn into our exchange.

"We found scriptures from the Prophet that have guided us to a new goal: a cure for the horrors mankind has inflicted upon this world. We are no longer atoning for these sins, but instead She will guide us to a new world. One in which demons are no more and only the best of us will thrive." A cure?

"Who exactly is the Prophet?"

"You question the faith?" She jabs at me with a sharpness exceeding that of the knife in her hand, eyes narrowed into slits.

"What's the blood of Restoration?" This time it's Abby who speaks and I know why she's asking. She was part of the Salt Lake crew and I was praying she wouldn't give anything away. My eyes silently plead with hers and she looks away from me, her face neutral.

"The scriptures tell us of an individual whose blood can cure this world of its demons. Their body must be purified and their blood spilled."

"Purified?" I can't help the anxious shift in my tone but I try and play it off as curiosity. The woman says nothing, and her silence is all I need to make my own assumptions. I silently beg Abby once more, this time a subtle shake of my head when the woman's back is turned away as she fixes two sets of rope into nooses. She turns back to me and Abby, a noose in her hand and she paces forward to Abby, tossing it around her neck and tightening it. Abby struggles against the restraints, her tip toes barely reaching the upside down bucket that's stopping her from hanging.

A Seraphite comes rushing into the opening of the forest we were in and calls out to the woman.

"The other Wolf confessed. We know who has the cure." Grins adorn both their faces, and a trembling frown appears on my own. He mutters something else to her but it's too quiet for me to hear over the sounds of Abby struggling. If I could just find something to cut myself free. But there's nothing. No way I could escape.

"Outsider, where did you say you were from?" I realise she's talking to me and I keep my lips tight. The flickering of the torch is slowly growing brighter as the sky grows darker and darker. Another storm must be coming. I drop my head back into the mud ignoring her and accepting reality. I was going to die and so was Ellie. My journey here had been for nothing.

Marcus rushes in, heavy thudding footsteps hammering into the ground as he pants out of breath that the 'apostate' has escaped. Well I guess someone would get out of this shithole, it just wouldn't be me.

"Go. Spread the word that our goal is completely clear: we must find the girl in Jackson and bring her to Haven." No, no, no. Fuck. Who told these sick freaks about Ellie? I was supposed to keep her safe and instead, she's going to die without even so much as a warning. I desperately needed to get out of here.

As Marcus hurries away, the whistle of an arrow fills the air and the woman drops limp to the mud as an arrow pierces her skull through her eyes. Lighter steps patter against the dirt and relief floods through Abby as she looks past me to a small child with their head shaved and scars on their cheeks just like the other Seraphites.

"Lev, thank god." Abby strains out as they cut her down, a thud sounding as she falls to the floor, heavy pants as she gets rid of the noose, red marks spanning her neck and mud smeared over her tank top. I drop my head back to the ground, staring up at the grey clouds and swaying branches until Abby's bulky figure comes into view, blocking the sun like some muscular eclipse.

"You're uh- you're blocking my sunlight." She questioningly raises a brow. "I'd like to spend my last few moments bathing in the light, I don't think they have a sun in the afterlife."

"Are you always this stupid?" She asks, still looming over me.

"Only when I'm close to death."

"You're not dying dumbass. Lev untie her. You're coming with us so you can explain exactly why you came to Seattle for me."

#ellie williams #enemies to lovers #ellie tlou #fanfic #wlw #ellie x reader #tlou2 #joel miller #joel the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams x reader #tlou fic #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #abby anderson #abby tlou #abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #lev tlou

[mt-oe]

heeey

if that’s okay with you can i request a shot of modern!mizu x reader, where reader is struggling with sh?

if this is too much for you, i understand no pressure 🫶🏻

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dear!

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling. I hope you're in a better place now, if not, I hope you're situation is slowly getting better. Dealing with self-harm is really difficult and healing takes so much time but I believe in you and I know you can do it <3

I know I won't be able to help much, but I hope my fic comforts you some how. I hope it comforts everyone feeling the same way. Hugs (with consent)!

Enjoy! Mwa mwa :*

trigger warning: self harm

warning: not proofread, mentions of self harm (cutting, bleeding, etc.), she/her for mizu

Nothing but the sound of the clock ticking filled the room as Mizu sat in front of you, crossing her arms and staring at you with her eyes narrowed. Beads of sweat formed at your temples, insides feeling jittery, and the urge to vomit forming in your throat.

It wasn't like you wanted to be this way. To feel this way.

And somehow, even her worry felt heavy to you. Like you had disappointed her the moment she caught you with the blade running down your skin. The way her body froze. The way her eyes widened ever so slightly. The way her breath audibly became shakier as she watched the red running down the skin she loves so much.

It felt so heavy.

It felt so fucking heavy.

"Why?" was all she could ask. Her voice sounded pained behind the stern front she always tried to put up. It wasn't like this was any easier for her, but she knew that it was more difficult for you.

It was definitely more difficult for you.

Your body remained unmoving at her question, staring at the fresh cuts on your skin that Mizu had bandaged. The memory of her freezing at the sight of white underneath the cuts you had made replayed over and over. Her voice repeating "You'll be fine, you'll be fine. I swear," as she held you tightly echoed in your brain. Even the amount of strength she had put in squeezing your forearm to reduce the bleeding was something you still felt. And it all felt so heavy. It felt so heavy to be comforted.

Her eyes narrowed at your lack of answer, desperation itching at her like a time bomb. "I said, why?" she repeated in a louder voice, making you flinch. You finally looked up at her, immediately regretting it as the gut-retching look of worry behind Mizu's blue eyes greeted you. "You wouldn't understand," you mumbled to her.

"You haven't even told me. How would I–"

"I know you won't."

"We won't know unless we try."

"No. I'll just be a bother."

"You won't. I promise."

"I really don't think you'll understa—"

"Then I'll try! I'll fucking try!" she said in a sudden firm voice, jaw clenching as she gritted her teeth. "Of course I won't get it but I'll try so just fucking tell me!"

Silence once again filled the room along with the sound of both your breaths, heavy and filled with tension. Her eyes glared at her trembling fists before her gaze slowly relaxed. Your clear reluctance to tell her made her feel utterly helpless.

It made her feel so pathetic, knowing that the love of her life was in despair and yet she couldn't do anything.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to," she apologized, rubbing her temples with her thumbs. In her mind, she knew she royally fucked up. Raising her voice at you was the last thing she wanted to do, yet here she was.

Mizu knew she might not get it. She knew she wasn't emotionally smart and she might not even be able to comfort you.

She was no Shakespeare, no Jane Austen, no whoever-the fuck-wrote-romance-novels to know which flower-y words or phrases to use. She was just a short-tempered adult who had a knack for solving things with her fists if it was getting nowhere. But she knew her fists wouldn't solve anything now.

The idea of losing you, the idea of not being able to understand you, killed her. And for that, she was willing to choke up any word, do anything that might comfort you even the slightest.

"Please," she breathed out, swallowing the lump forming in her throat. "Just...try. I want to know what's causing you so much pain." Her voice now soft, cracking ever so slightly.

Hesitance still filled you, the fear of becoming an even bigger burden than what you already fear you are still clutching your soul. But with how she softened up, how the tips of nose dusted pink from holding back the urge to tear up, and how her voice accidentally cracked an octave higher as she spoke, it was clear to you that Mizu truly did care.

Like a dam holding back a raging river, the words slipped out of your mouth until you were telling her everything.

Everything that burdened you.

Every emotion you felt.

Every little detail about how you were feeling.

Pouring them out like she was your only solace, her rough and calloused hands wiping your tears off as gently as she could. She held you tightly, pulling you closer to her chest until you could feel her heartbeat calming you like a lullaby.

Even when there were no more words left in your mouth, she continued to hold on to you. Her breathing was steady in contrast to your sniffling and shaky exhales. "Do you feel better?" she asked, glancing down at you.

Did you feel any better?

You didn't know.

"I'm sorry," you choked, eyebrows knitting together as another wave of tears threatened to fall from your eyes. "I'm bothering you, aren't I? I'm hurting you too. I'm making you worried."

Mizu sighed at your words and shook her head, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head. "You could never bother me," she mumbled. Like handling the thinnest piece of porcelain, she held your hands in hers, planting a kiss against the flesh of your palms.

Her lips trailed down until they reached the gauze covering your wounds. A sigh escaped her lips yet again as she ran her lips over the rough yet fuzzy covering. "I know that you probably won't stop, but..." She looked up at you again, her blue eyes staring deeply into yours. "Please...consider talking to me about your problems first or...or...we can do something about this. Something that won't hurt you."

Fingers traced the medical tape securing the bandages in place as her eyes turned to look at the blood that seeped through. "I...I love you too much to lose you damn it," she croaked out, lowering her head and burying her face against your palms. "I'm scared of losing you, okay?"

Slowly, your hands caressed her cheeks, the warmth slowly warming the tips of your fingers. "I'll try," you mumbled, voice still shaky. "But I can't promise anything."

Tears finally escaped Mizu's deep blue eyes at your words. She gently kissed the tips of your fingers before moving up to your face, kissing your puffy eyelids and swollen lips, resting her forehead on yours. "That's good enough," she sighed out. "Just you trying..is good enough, okay?"

Her words brought you a sort of comfort that you had not felt in a long while. A form of comfort free from the sting of a blade, or a burn from an eraser, or jitters from vomiting. A sort of comfort that made you feel normal.

You felt light.

You felt the lightest that you've ever been.

"I'll try. I promise," you choked out, looking at her through your tears. A soft smile crept up to her lips, tears streaming down the side of her face as her cheeks lifted up ever so slightly. "And I'll be here. And I'll try for you too."

#bes mizu x reader #blue eye samurai x reader #blue eye samurai #mizu #mizu x reader #bes mizu #bes x reader #blue eye samurai mizu #mizu imagine #mizu x you #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x fem!reader #bes