#but cant i expect even a lil effort

[onlymvr]

Tension | Jake Sully x (Na’vi) fem!Reader [one-shot]

Summary: You had enough of Jakes shit so you decide to do something about it. You weren’t prepared for the outcome….

Warnings: sixty-nine that shit, slight hair pulling, dom jake, fingering, choking, some name calling, over-stimulation, lil praises here and there yadda yadda yadaa

Note: So this is my first ever smutty one-shot i’ve ever written so bare w me guys. Hope y’all like it🙏also i was too tired to read over it so if u see some spelling errors…. no u didn’t

You couldn't sleep. Again.

You were consumed by thoughts of that one irritating and arrogant man. Jake sully. Despite your efforts to push him out of your mind, you found yourself dwelling on every encounter and interaction you ever had. You were filled with a mix of emotions - anger, frustration, and even a strange sense of longing - that kept you awake and restless throughout the night. It was as if your hatred for him only served to fuel your obsession with him, making it impossible for you to find peace and fall into a deep, restful sleep.

As you walked further through the forest, you couldn't help but notice all the ripe berries that were scattered along the path that lead to a few bushes in front of you. Your mouth watered. Making the decision, you decided to pick and gather a hefty amount and placed it gently on a large leaf. The crisp, refreshing taste of the berries helped clear your mind and soothe your restless spirit, making you feel more at peace and at ease.

“Man these are so good”, you smiled stuffing your mouth with the sweet yet tart fruit.

As you kept walking, you came across a babbling stream and decided to sit by its banks to rest and enjoy your berries. You found a comfortable spot on the soft grass, settling down and gazing up at the night sky as you ate. The stars twinkled brightly above you, casting a magical glow over the scene and the light of the moon reflecting on the blue stream. The peaceful sound of the water rushing by and the soothing darkness of the night made you feel calm and content, as if all your troubles had melted away. As if he melted away. You sat there for a while, savoring the simple pleasures of nature and letting go of your worries.

As you sat comfortably by the stream, your thoughts inevitably turned to that annoying man. You couldn't help but think about him and all the ways in which he had wronged you. You couldn't shake the feeling of confusion and frustration as you wondered why the man you despise seems to harbor such intense feelings of dislike towards you. You had never done anything to wrong him, and yet he seemed to go out of his way to make your life difficult. It was a mystery that plagued you, causing you to lose sleep and spend countless hours trying to make sense of it all. But at the back of your mind you couldn’t help but wander to more sinful thoughts about Jake. Sure, you cant stand him but god he is very, VERY attractive. You imagined all the ways in which he could take you and use him as his own fuck toy. The way he would touch you, taste you, hold you and don’t even get me started on how long and thick his dic-

*CRACK*

The sound of a twig snapping within your eyesight interrupted your thoughts. Great what now. You quickly picked up your bow, straightened your back, and squinted aiming at your target in front of you, preparing yourself to whatever or whoever was going to appear in front of your eyes. But boy were you so fucking wrong.

The next few minutes of intense waiting, you were about to lower your bow but what appeared in front of you was not what you expected.

You turned to see a tall, fit man emerging from the trees, his muscular frame and chiseled features making your heart skip a beat. He walked with confidence and grace, a shadow covering his piercing gaze that fixed on you as you couldn't help but feel a surge of attraction towards him, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you knew him from somewhere. As he drew closer, it hit you. it’s Jake. Oh fuck me.

“You weren’t gonna shoot me with that were you”, Jake grunts, pointing at the now lowered bow resting on your lap. his gaze slowly looking up and down at you, taking his time to savour your appearance.

Your body grows hot, his toned chest and the bulge of his muscles practically flexing up in your face. The long veins running up his big arms down to the length of those fingers. God those fingers.

You blink out of the trance and roll your eyes, shaking your head at him while returning your vision back at the stream in front of you.

Oh how your night could get any better.

With no time for you to register, he sat himself down beside you, grabbing the leaf full of berries and plopping each one in his mouth, savouring it. He turned to look at you, settling the leaf by his abdomen with a sly smirk you just wanna smack the hell out of.

You looked at him with disgust. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. He invades MY space, interrupting MY peace, and takes MY berries.

“Do you fucking mind”, you look at him in disbelief, snatching the berries away from his grasp, leaving him with an annoyed look. “They’re mine dumbass”

He pokes his tongue on the side of his cheek and lets out a low chuckle. “Damn, don’t have to act like such a bitch about it.” he turns, fixing his gaze on the stream, clenching his jaw. Hard.

Oh he did not. did he jus-

No breathe. Don’t let him get to you. It’s just a word. He didn’t mean it. Don’t waste your time on him. Just don’t. Breathe, Breathe, Breathe.

As you calmed yourself down, you thought how bad could it get? At this point you’re just tired and sick of his shit. You placed the leaf between both of you, nudging his shoulder to look down.

He looked at you, and down at the leaf. He searched for any expression on your face but there was none. You reached down for a berry and plopped it in your mouth, raising your brows at him.

He scoffed, extending his long legs out, placing the palm of his hands on the grass, looking up at the night sky.

That was it for you. You couldn’t understand why this guy had to be so fucking stubborn. You did nothing wrong to him, why is he acting this way towards you? it’s like he could never be pleased. You had to speak up, you had enough of his shit.

“you know what, I don’t know what the fuck is so far up your ass that you can’t show at least an ounce of respect. I’m always trying to be nice towards you but you alwa-“

You were cut off by him standing up swiftly, looking down at you with furrowed brows and a clenched jaw. He stands tall, looming over you, his eyes turning dark, scanning your face with his piercing gaze. A feeling of want struck through your body that made your body shiver at the sight. But you won’t back down, not this time.

“Oh i’m the one not showing respect?” he points at his chest, looking at you with disbelief. “You’re the one with all the bitchy remarks you throw around and act like you won’t get it in return, girl.” His tone getting louder, showing authority after every word.

That Nickname. That assigned word he always called you, did something to you. Ugh, you didn’t know why, but the way it would roll out of his tongue, like honey, made something surge hot in the pit of your stomach.

You wouldn’t back down, you push yourself up, trying to get to his level and match his intensity with your gaze.

“You’re the one prancing around acting like you own everyone and everything.” You spit back, getting harsher with each passing word.

He relaxes his face, tilting his head to the side, eyes getting darker after each second.

Oh fuck

The air around you gets thick with tension. No matter how hard you try, you can’t analyze the look on his face. The way you have to tilt your head back to meet his piercing gaze, sets excitement over you.

“Just shut up”. He grunts taking a step towards you slowly.

You wanted to test his limits. Getting a little bold, you let out a low chuckle, “Oh yeah? Make me.” You take a step closer, closing the gap between the both of you.

You let your eyes wander, flicking at the sweet soft curve of his lips, then back up at his eyes.

That set him off.

He pushes you towards the closest tree with his hands gripped at both of your arms. Your back hits the tree, the rough bark digging into your soft flesh, letting out a grunt. Your body grows hot and you let your head sink back into the trunk when Jake leans over, scooping his hands under your thighs and lifting you up as if you weighed like a feather.

Without warning, he whips his head forward and smashes his lips down to yours, catching you off guard. His fingers are rough, digging into the soft plush of your skin as they never relax. Well that’s gonna leave a mark. His lips are smooth, melting into the curve of your mouth as if it was made for you. He bites the bottom of your lip, making you let out a small moan, allowing him to slip his warm slick tongue into yours. He tastes of the aftermath of the sweet berries, something that’s so addicting, you want more of. You widen your mouth, allowing him more access, pushing your tongue down to his. Surprised by your actions, he lets out a small grunt from the back of his throat and tilts his head, getting more of you.

Your fingers graze his cheeks and land on the side of his head. You pull his hair back to get a different angle but was greeted by him letting out a small, whiny moan. Jackpot.

“Didn’t know you liked your hair being pulled”, you smile against his lips, panting for air, as he sucked all of it out of you.

“Stop talkin”, he grunts and seals his warm lips on yours. You comply to his words and smash your lips against his, as you couldn’t get enough of his taste. “Needy bitch” he cursed, kissing back and biting your lip only stopping to glide his hands to the back of your top, fiddling with the knot. You were about to give him a hand but was met with your top loosening, falling to the ground between the both of you.

His large, rough, veiny hands find your boobs, giving them a harsh squeeze that let a loud, sultry moan escape your lips. The way his hand covered almost your whole chest, set something afire within you, pulling his waist closer to your mound, begging for a source of contact. He smirks at you, letting your feet hit the ground gently, as he pinches and rolls your sensitive nipples along his fingers.

He takes a step back, admiring your appearance. There’s a line of saliva running down the side of your mouth, face is flustered, eyes dark filled with lust and your nipples hard as rock, displayed for only Jake’s eyes to see. He rubs his length through his loin cloth to relive some tension and your eyes follow suit. He’s practically bulging through and you can’t help but notice how long and thick it is. You gulp.

He pulls you by the back of your neck, and sets you laying down onto the soft grass beneath you. Your heart is beating out of your chest, a river practically formed between your legs and at this point you just want him to do something. Anything, fast.

He settles above you, dipping his head down and sucking at your neck hard. You’re gonna be marked up by the end of this night. He drags his fangs down to your neck, boobs, stomach and lastly settling it on top of your loin cloth. You shiver by the different kind of contact, your walls clenching at nothing as a warm pool spreads down your mound.

“Jake please” you whimper pulling his head up to meet your gaze.

“Patience, girl. I’m just getting started”, his words leave you hot with need. You can’t take it anymore. He slowly leaves sloppy kisses all around your abdomen and finally drags his fangs underneath your loin cloth, dragging it down to your feet. He tossed it somewhere beside him but that’s a problem to think about later. He spreads your legs apart, the cold air hitting your wet mound making you buckle your hips.

“You usually get this wet?” he smirks looking up at you for an answer. Your cheeks grow red, turning your face to the side, covering it with your hands, embarrassment washing over you. Jake yanks your hands and pin them above your head. “I said, do you usually get this wet?” he sterns, looking at you with a dark look. “No” you spit out.

“Good”

He leans back, setting his weight on his knees. You pick yourself up settling on your elbows, watching his next movements. He slowly unties his loincloth and drops it when his dick springs free from the fabric. His tip a dark purple already smeared with pre-cum. He’s practically rock solid. he strokes his dick slowly, maintaining eye-contact and you couldn’t help but lick your lips. His mouth parted letting out a small moan, as you took in his length. Holy fuck he’s big. A large bulging vein running down the underside of his dick as his hand pumps himself slowly.

The next moments you weren’t prepared for. Jake swiftly picks you up and positioned your thighs on the sides of his head while you faced his length in a classic yet beautiful sixty nine position.

“Look at this sloppy hole, how long has it been since you had someone take care of you?” his hot breathe fans over you making you clench over nothing before screaming when he pinched your puffy clit.

“God, Jake please, Just please” you begged, wrapping your hand around his huge cock in front of your face.

“Shhhh, you’re talking to much, let’s put that bratty mouth into good use, eh?” the hand that was gripping your thigh was lifted up to hold your neck, slowly making you lower your mouth down on him. “Atta girl, just like that, doing so good for me”. He kept holding your head, guiding your movements in a bobbing motion.

Jake’s mouth finally meets your heat. his tongue dragging up and down your folds and sucking at your puffy clit, his moans sending vibrations down your heat giving you a whole different type of pleasure. It was too good you couldn’t even focus on your task until he grabbed and smacked your ass with no hesitation.

“Deeper” he forced you lower making you gag on his cock. tears were streaming down your face as your throat was stuffed with his length. “such a good girl for me, just how I like it” he let go of your head to hold each side of your hips, inserting two long thick fingers in you while sucking at your sensitive clit at the same time.

Jakes fingers started to pump in you faster, tongue flicking and sucking your clit as if it was his last meal. His cock was so down deep into your throat you could only moan directly onto him and scratch your nails down to his thighs. The knot on your stomach not taking to long to form was rapidly spreading across you in a mind-blowing orgasm. In hope Jake would slow down, he pumped faster and casually added a third finger stretching you mid-orgasm and curling them brushing it to massage your sweet spot.

“Fuck, Jake!” you let go of his cock to scream when he kept going in faster, holding your hips in place, not allowing you to back down from the over-stimulation.

“Shut up and take it” your back arched even more when he continued to suck your clit hard. You sobbed his name but was cut off by him shoving your head down his length. you kept bobbing your head up and down and making sure to suck his tip harder. A different sensation was building up inside of you and sobbed.

“Jake i’m close-“ you screamed, tears streaming down your face.

“Me too, baby”

He pumped his three fingers into you faster, curling them in, brushing it against your g-spot, as you kept sucking and gagging down his cock, his tip hitting deep down your throat. It seemed like another climax but this one hit you harder. Your knees buckled and a hot wave went shooting down your legs and you released onto Jake’s mouth. He slurped all your juices up like a starved man and as he was, you started massaging his balls and it send him on edge. he spilled his warm load deep down your throat. You choked but swallowed all of it.

Your body goes limp against his as he picks you up and lays your back against his chest, laying down on the soft grass. Every inch of your body is sore as you were processing what just fucking happened. Jakes hot breath fans against your neck and nuzzles between your shoulder.

“You’re still a bitch you know that” he whispers against you, but you had not one ounce of energy to respond. You just smiled.

_______________________________________________

BOY WE HAD A TIME LAST NIGHTTT

lmk what y’all think?

#avatar the way of water #jake sully #jake sully x reader #oneshot #smut #jake sully smut #jakesullyissofine #domjake #Spotify

[riotlain]

TWD crushing on (an Oblivious) Reader

YOOO WE KINDA DUMB

upset there isnt alot of twd x male reader fics that arent smut but anyways

my very select few men💀💀 i might do a part 2 i just wanted to post

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

Daryl Dixon

Our man Mr. Daryl Hiding His Emotions Dixon 🫶🫶

Its fine you didn't notice at first

He seems like he kinda hates you from how quiet he is. Quite the opposite

Being quite in love with someone who isnt a woman is kinda just like. Not processed in his mind??

He didn't know how to feel at first

But eventually he confessed to Carol about how he feels (she suspected something but anyways)

To be honest he had a plan to ask you out

But was extremely extremely hesitant

"They prolly don' even like guys" He'd say

I think both of yall are oblivious

It was a group effort to get yall together

Like all these long ass runs, leaving gifts saying it was from the other

You probably had to be the one to confess ngl

Glenn Rhee

Glenn aint too obvious. Thats what he tells himself atleast

Hes very obviously crushing on you. The only one who cant see it is you

He'd pull harmless pranks, compliment you, help you around, usually adding on a lil wink for lil extra

Yet you still didn't get it. You just thought he was being a goody good friend

Especially since its a bit hard to find any queer folk that like you around here IN FUCKING VIRGINIA/GEORGIA

"You look nice today, Y/n." *Shitty Glenn wink* "Oh thanks man!"

Your obviousness is apart of what Glenn absolutely loved about you though

It gives him time to really think out his lil confession

Which took a while but he had it down! Flowers!!

Who doesnt like flowers??

Well Glenn originally planned to give you flowers. That was until Eugene let it slip that he likes you one time💀💀

You ended up interrupting Glenn like mid confession just because you knew

Simon

Negan teases him for his obviousness

Simon would yell it to the top of his lungs if he must (he probably has to)

Always gives you any ice cream or first shot of a drink

He also always has his arm around you or is LITERALLY FLIRTING WITH YOU

You couldnt tell tho. he looked gay and homophobic to be honest.

So you just didnt say anything

Simon, running out of ideas, asked Negan for any ideas

Since its, Negan what do you expect? Something cute and romantic?? No

SHOW OFF YOUR SEXUAL PROWESS OF COURSE‼️

So with this in mind Simon approached your room with some drinks and did what he does best!

Sexual jokes about his dick and such seeing if you'd take the bait

You didn't you just got a bit flustered and laughed along

Until yknow he actually just went with the impulse and kissed you

FINALLY YOU GET THAT HES LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU

Owen (Wolf)

The king of being either really obvious or the complete opposite

Depending on your guy's situation then heres the various ways itll go down

Owens a prisoner in Alexandria? He'll tell you nearly everything about him. Along with the fact if he gets out of there hes taking you with him!

How romantic!!

If youre apart of the Wolves then you have for sure caught his eye!

He'd do anything for you and I mean anything! Well as long as he's yknow still in control of the situation.

You cant ignore him either. He'll make as much noise as possible for you to go back to talking to him.

Owen will try to stalk you to see what you like

Or try to get that info out of you through a weird interrogation

You dont notice though. If anything youre a bit weirded out that this kinda crazy cult guy is like asking you your favorite color but anyways

Eventually in the middle of one of these investigations hes just gonna kiss you (probably quite roughly too)

"I like you. So youre mine now." "I- Ok sure??"

#simon twd x reader #twd x male reader #twd x reader #daryl dixon x male reader #daryl dixon x reader #wolf twd #owen twd #glenn rhee x male reader #glenn rhee x reader #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead x male reader

[gojowh0rcs]

can the jjk cast dance?

gojo satoru: 7/10. finds the beat but has stiff hips

itadori yuji: 1000/10. DEFINITELY. he’s both started and finished dance offs. unlimited stamina. he’s so cute he’d have fun dancing its a great way to relieve stress or tension too.

kugisaki nobara: 6/10. she learns her dances off tiktok LMFAOO its just a lot of regurgitated moves she’s seen others do online that she liked

fushiguro megumi: 0/10. he cannot dance for the life of him and he wont even try because of that simple fact. whole body stiff ass boy. he can do a lil shimmy and thats it.

nanami kento: 10/10 LMFAOO HE CAN. he smooth af with it too i just know it. like rmb that one tom hiddleston dancin vid? thats nanami. that is him

yuta okkotsu: 2/10. he just claps to the beat like someones mom LMAO BYE

geto suguru: 5/10. he can learn a step but he cannot create the step himself. kinda like nobara except he wont really try unless hes by himself and maybe after gojo made fun of him or smth. learns just to prove the mf otherwise 

zenin maki: 10/10. SHE DEF BUSTIN DOWN A MOVE. only problem is gettin her to in the first place. def like nanami. can dance but will they?

inumaki toge: 8/10. naturally finds the beat too but does cute little moves. he aint as into it as yuji but you can get him there with the right hype

todo aoi: 5/10. HE DEFINITELY DANCE BATTLING YUJI BUT IS HE WINNING? NO BUT AS EXPECTED OF HIS BROTHER. this is just another stiff man. i give him a 5 out of the effort alone. also he roastin megumi for not even tryin cuz thats LAME

fushiguro toji: 2/10 LMAO it runs in the genes they both cant dance. but toji will tap his foot and nod his head and snap LMAOO bare minimum ahh 

zenin mai: 9/10 omg she’d be so cute i think. like she does little moves too. too shy to actually dance unless everyone already on the floor and shes pulled into it. dancin probably makes her happy too. she’d have fun 🥺🥺🥺 

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #itadori yuji #kugisaki nobara #fushiguro megumi #nanami kento #yuta okkotsu #geto suguru #zenin maki #zenini mai #inumaki toge #todo aoi #fushiguro toji

[nanawritesit]

Class 1A as Baristas at a Coffee Shop

TW: this is aged up bc there’s references to alcohol and 🍃, so if you’re a child of god then read no further 💀 also mineta isn’t included because i hate him, and you should too 😊

A/N: i’m a barista so i’m qualified to make these claims. also i know i haven’t written any of my actual requests. i’m depressed and my life is chaotic. besides this is just for fun and didn’t really take much effort so leave me alone 😤

midoriya:

literally the best barista boy on the planet

his customer service skills are GOD-TIER

even when a customer is being rude to him, he’s just such a lil cinnamon roll back to them and kills them with his kindness

has amazing relationships with all the regulars, completely memorizes all their names and orders

legit has full conversations with them

“hey carl, how’s the wife doin’?”

“welcome back emily, did you get into that university you told me about?”

“good afternoon joyce, how’d your husband’s gallbladder surgery go?”

comes up with really creative drinks to use for the monthly specials

is secretly all of the managers favorites because he just works so hard (even bakugou’s)

whips through all the cleaning so fast at the end of the day

todoroki: “okay so we need to wash the utensils, mop the floors, and clean the espresso machine…”

midoriya: “oh, i already did all that todoroki!” 😊

loves coffee but is very sensitive to the caffeine so the managers have to make sure he doesn’t have more than two shots a day 💀

bakugou:

one of the managers

honestly the least likely person you’d expect to be a barista

can only work morning shift bc he goes to sleep at 8:30 (nerd)

his customer service SUCKS but he’s literally so good at his job they can’t really fire him

he just hardly ever runs the cash register and assigns it to one of the more sunshine-y baristas (usually deku or uraraka)

not usually trusted with training new recruits bc he’s such a bully

if a customer is being rude to one of the baristas he won’t hesitate to clap back, because HE’S the only one allowed to bully his employees 😤

uraraka will just step away from the cash register and go “bakugou i need your help with something” and he whips around with the most deadly grimace

bakugou: “is there a problem, sir?”

customer: “n-no problem here, the coffee tastes great” 😄

god forbid one of them gets snappy on one of the rare occasions he works the register

customer: “i demand to see your manager!”

bakugou: “you’re lookin’ at him, dumbass”

damn near explodes when some white girl comes through wanting a mocha caramel latte-cino made with skim milk and no whipped cream in a medium cup with the same amount of coffee as a small so she can stir in her own nutmeg

doesn’t give a single fuck about regulations if he thinks they’re unnecessary

iida: “bakugou, the health department says these bagels have to be thrown away after six days!”

locks the doors ten minutes before closing time and won’t let anyone else in

bakugou: “i don’t give a damn what the health department says, i’m not throwing away six perfectly good bagels!”

punched the espresso machine one time when it wasn’t working and it fucking exploded 💀

iida made him walk across town to buy a new one

todoroki:

another one of the managers

is tasked with training the majority of the new recruits since bakugou cant

the most level-headed chill person to have around during a rush, he never loses his head

can instantly correct someone’s order if they mistakenly got a hot or iced coffee

customer: “excuse me, i ordered this coffee iced.”

todoroki: “oh i’m so sorry, lemme just-“ *touches the cup with his right hand and it fills with ice* “there ya go”

OR

customer: “i don’t mean to be a bother, but i wanted a hot coffee and this is iced.”

todoroki: “yeah gimmie a sec-“ *heats up the cup with his left hand and melts the ice* “should be good now”

likes macchiatos because the separated milk and coffee reminds him of his hair 🥺

pisses off the rude customers with his indifference

customer: “i’ll just take my business elsewhere!”

todoroki: “okay well, it’s your money so you can do what you want with it”

gets flirted with all the time but is too oblivious to notice

kaminari: “dude that girl TOTALLY just gave you her number”

todoroki: “nah she probably just wrote it down in case we needed a survey” *throws it away*

kaminari wants to go off on him but he racks in a lot of money in tips for all of them to split so he keeps quiet

iida:

general manager from hell

runs the shop like it’s the fucking army

really nice if you follow all the regulations tho 😀

he’s the best person to have around during a rush because he just kicks his engines into maximum overdrive and speeds through all the orders

also does deliveries on the side because he’s a fast boi

tried to implement a demerit system, but bakugou took one look at the poster and tore it off the wall 💀

everyone prays to god that they get scheduled with momo instead of him

constantly taps the other workers on the shoulder to hand them a wash cloth and a spray bottle and goes “if you’ve got time to lean, you’ve got time to clean”

everyone acts like they hate him, but when he gave a really touching speech at the christmas party everyone started crying

also organized the secret santa

ends up apologizing to customers for bakugou’s terrible customer service and hands them like a thousand coupons

uraraka:

customer service skills only come second to midoriya’s

she’s a DELIGHT to talk to

even at 7 am when you’re sleep deprived and caffeine deficient, the sight of her smiling face behind the counter will cheer you up :)

during a rush she forgets not to grab the receipts with all five fingers, so they’ll just start floating everywhere

bakugou: “hey round face, all my orders are on the ceiling!”

uraraka: “oh shoot, sorry!” *puts hands together* “release!”

draws cute little pictures on all the chalkboards 🥰

somehow knows exactly what a customer would like when they ask her to recommended something? people start wondering if that’s her real superpower

ironically doesn’t like the taste of coffee… her favorite drink is a hot chocolate with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles

tsuyu:

only got the job to be closer to her best friend uraraka but ends up really enjoying it

gets nervous talking to customers so she mostly just sticks to making the drinks

has to be reminded not to grab things with her tongue because it’s against the health code 💀

when a customer is rude to her the ENTIRE team gets pissed at them, because she’s an angel and must be protected 😤

hates when people watch her make their drinks (she gets anxious 🥺)

pretty much the baby of the shop, whenever she accidentally burns herself steaming milk everyone rushes over like “OH MY GOD TSU ARE YOU OKAY?!?!”

kirishima:

one of the only two baristas trained by bakugou, so he ends up being really good at making coffee

is able to memorize large orders really quickly

“alright i’ve got a skinny macchiato no whip, iced dirty chai with oat milk and an added shot, two americanos extra hot, and a vanilla frappe?”

is the designated carrier of the cold brew kegs

AND the delivery boxes

AND the milk jugs

pretty much anything that’s heavy, he happily carries it

eventually becomes a team trainer, which suits him perfectly because he’s always boosting the team’s morale

bakugou giving the morning debrief: “alright guys, today’s gonna be super busy, and it’s gonna suck.”

kirishima: “SO LETS GET OUT THERE AND DO OUR BEST! I KNOW WE CAN DO IT!” 😆

kaminari:

the OTHER only employee that was trained by bakugou

tries so hard to flirt with customers but fails miserably

is really good at making coffee but he makes a decent amount of mistakes, like using the wrong milk or making drinks hot instead of iced (good thing we have todoroki!)

also wanted to become a team trainer but couldn’t pass the servsafe exam 😀

hooked himself up the espresso machine after bakugou broke it so they could use it until he came back with a new one 💀

does stupid shit with kirishima whenever the shop is dead

bakugou walked in on them making a castle out of cups and knocked it over, then screamed at them to get back to work

conveniently goes to the bathroom every time a huge group of people walks in

sneaks his phone in the bathroom with him

is also a chronic stoner and can’t get through a shift without hitting his pen

he accidentally left it in his apron one night and the next day iida gave everyone a talk about paraphernalia in the workplace

and everyone just had to act like they didn’t know it was kaminari’s 🤡

sero:

only has this job to pay for weed

is basically a glorified janitor because he’s not good at making coffee at ALL

he tries tho 😗

has the worst memory ever

customer: “can i get a small hot vanilla cappuccino?”

sero: “yeah so a large iced mocha frappe?”

customer: “no… a small hot vanilla cappuccino…”

sero: “yeah, that’s totally what i said.” 😀

also can’t remember how to make drinks to save his life

sero: “i’m sorry but what the hell is the difference between an iced coffee and an iced latte?”

bakugou: “OH MY GOD IVE TOLD YOU LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES”

goes to take out the trash with kaminari and they don’t come back for like twenty minutes

and when they do they’re coughing up a storm and reeking of weed 💀 like they don’t even try to hide it

would have gotten fired months ago if they weren’t so short staffed

mina:

is also a team trainer because she’s good with people

tries to get everyone to hang out outside of work, and she usually succeeds

made everyone go to karaoke and get drunk together

iida was QUITE the life of the party after a few drinks, and she evilly videotaped it all

makes memes about the managers and sends them to the barista group chat

spontaneously starts dancing while working, even when there’s customers

drinks like eight shots of espresso a day

is also the shop’s social media manager

constantly takes pictures of everyone and posts them on the shop’s instagram

jirou:

manages the shop playlist

kaminari tried to get her to put a bunch of inappropriate rap songs on it but she didn’t want iida to get mad

sings to herself throughout the entire shift, everyone thinks it’s really cute

except bakugou, he isn’t afraid to tell her to shut up

only drinks black coffee, she doesn’t like milk or sugar

always spices up her uniform with cool accessories and jewelry

she’s not going to sacrifice her individuality for a corporate position 😌 (even if iida constantly lectures her… momo didn’t want to hear it anymore so she started scheduling jirou with her)

momo:

assistant general manager

everyone loves her, she’s an amazing boss

always releases the schedule two weeks ahead of time

is everyone’s barista crush

literally, a new man asks her out every day

is in charge of keeping inventory and ordering ingredients, she’s good at math so everything is always well stocked

is super nice to all the new employees she trains

is a tea enthusiast

sources a bunch of fancy tea and recommends it to the customers

she’s actually garnered a few coffee converts, no one is really able to say no to her pretty face 🥰

never gets made at anyone for requesting time off, in fact she’ll excitedly ask them ab their plans

also never guilts anyone for being sick and not coming into work

pretty much everyone’s mom, if anyone comes in looking upset she’s immediately like “okay what’s wrong, tell me right now”

hagakure:

sneaks up on people all the time

like someone will go up the counter to get their coffee and just see a floating apron

customer: “um, i ordered a latte and-“

hagakure: “yeah, it’s right here!” 😄

customer: “OH MY GOD-“

LOVES to gossip with mina

always has way too much energy early in the morning

*todoroki barely being able to keep his eyes open as he unlocks the door*

hagakure: “AYO SHOTO ARE YOU READY TO OPEN THIS COFFEE SHOP?!?!”

aoyama:

refuses to wear a hair net

DEVOURS croissants

wants to put cheese on the menu, and doesn’t care at all that it’s a coffee shop

buys fresh flowers to put on all the tables 🥰

one day the open sign burnt out so bakugou made him shine his navel laser though it 💀

goes on his phone during his shift ALL the time, and never listens to iida when he yells at him to put it away

tokoyami:

everyone likes being scheduled with him because he’s basically two baristas

“hey dark shadow, can you make this order for me while i stock the bakery case?”

wants to be emo like jirou and only drink black coffee, but can’t stand the taste

“yeah jirou, we’re the only strong ones in the shop!” *dumps three creams and five sugars in his coffee when no one’s looking*

made everyone wear costumes for halloween and handed out candy to customers

purposefully messes up rude customers’ orders 💀

like if they ask for almond milk he’ll put in whole milk so they shit themselves

or if they want it skinny he’ll use the regular syrups so they get sugar overload

doesn’t know how to answer the phone

customer: “is this my hero coffee academia?”

tokoyami: “no, this is fumikage.” *hangs up*

almost has a meltdown everytime he spills something, has to lock himself in the freezer to calm down before walking back out like nothing happened

only works night shift for obvious reasons

shouji:

multitasking king

all his arms allow him to do different things at once

him and iida are the speed demons of the shop, so when the two of them work together everything gets done in like two seconds

iida will be running around making all the orders while shouji is cleaning everything all at once

is pretty much everyone’s therapist, he’s just so easy to vent to

gives the best advice

is so huge and intimidating that there’s hardly ever any rude customers during his shift

koda:

gets so upset every time a bug is killed in the kitchen

koda: “NO PLEASE HE HAS A FAMILY”

momo: “koda i understand this is hard for you, but we cannot have a spider roaming freely around the food”

squeals whenever a customer leaves their dog outside

he’ll be standing at the window with his hands pressed up against the glass and tears in his eyes

todoroki: *sigh* “you can go pet the dog if you want-“

koda: “THANK YOU” *sprints out the door*

starts buying dog treats to give to the owners, he even offers to put them in a little cup of whipped cream 🥺

gets sato to make some vegan baked goods :)

ojiro:

cant spell customers’ names right to save his life

ojiro: “alright, can i get a name for this?”

customer: “yeah, it’s brian with a y!”

ojiro: “got it!” *writes yrian*

or he just writes the wrong name altogether

sharon is now shannnon

tyler is now tyson

jack is now jake

let’s kaminari fluff his tail when he gets overstimulated during a rush 🥺

is constantly apologizing to everyone for accidentally bumping into them with it

sato:

the faithful head baker

comes in at 4 am everyday to prep the baked goods

always asks everyone if they have any special requests <3

customers are constantly complimenting the stuff he makes and asking who made them

the baristas just smile and they’ll them that their baker sato made them, and if he’s still there, they’ll drag him out to accept the compliments 🥰

isn’t very good at asking for help, but hagakure and aoyama are always around to frost donuts or decorate cupcakes when he’s running behind :)

(BONUS) aizawa:

the area coach that stops by every so often to make sure everything is running up to standard

everyone is really scared of him but he honestly doesn’t give a single fuck so long as they’re not serving trash

only comes by during the night shift because he refuses to wake up early

and of course that’s when they least expect him

iida and momo are just nervously leading him around the shop while kirishima and kaminari are sprinting to the kitchen to throw away all the expired food 💀

tells them they’ll get shut down if they don’t get enough customer surveys, which makes everyone panic and hand them out with every order

they still didn’t have enough so sero and mina were in the back filling them out the day they were due 🤡

turns out they were never going to get shut down, he just lied to them so they’d push surveys 🙃

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha headcannons #mha headcanons #mha memes #bnha memes #bnha funny #mha funny #my hero headcanons #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #shoto todoroki #iida tenya #ochaco uraraka #kirishima eijirou #denki kaminari #tsuyu asui #hanta sero #mina ashido #kyoko jirou #momo yaoyozoru #aizawa shouta

[spaciebabie]

HI HI HI I JUST SAW THE FNAF MOVIE FEEL FREE TO USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO SHARE YOUR THOTS ABT EVERYTHING

alr well im gonna talk abt a lot of things under the cut :> (extra precaution for people who havent seen it!) im gonna be talking abt some major spoilers so like if you dont wanna know what happens dont look!!!!!!!!

the thing that stood out ta me the most abt this movie is the cinematography i mean- some of those shots were really well fucking done. and the tension at certain parts??? i mean!!! i wasnt really scared during the movie but there were some parts where the build up ta the scare made me feel a lil somethin somethin yk. a little tingle in my booty.

ALSO LIKE?? THE AUNT DIED AND NOBODY FUKCING TALKED ABOUT IT SKDFJSKFHSKJFSJDF???? DID MIKE JUST FUCKING MOVE HER BODY OUT OF HIS HOME??? WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO???? THEY REALLY JUST LIKE DID NOT GIVE A SHIT ABT HER AWAHWHAGGWGAGWAHHWGHAHAHA

also. the springlocks. we finally got like some explanation asta how they would work and honestly i really really like how they function. like it makes sense!! the metal ribcage??? fuck thats so peak i might hafta add that ta my springer design i love it

speaking of springtrap. hello hi i love. william afton. i have always been a springtrap lover and a william afton enjoyer but this movie man. mathew lillard is hot as hell and he did an awesome job in this role. i mean hes everything i would want william afton ta be. silly, dangerous, unhinged, sure of himself, ive already made a post talking abt how much i liked the springlock failure scene (well more like screaming abt it) but like. hes. hes not scared of dying hes not scared of death (at least he doesnt show it) b/c he knows hes gonna be reborn and- fuck its just so good. i love everything abt the final scenes. GOSH AND HIS VOICE!!!!!!!! THE DISTORTION ON HIS VOICE DID YOU HEAR HOW GLEEFUL AND CHEERY HE WAS??? HOW DRAMATIC HIS STUPID ASS WAS??? SHITTTTTTT

im also really glad vanessa had some development here! and i wasnt expecting her ta be william aftons daughter??!?!?!?! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLYAY MOLAY ACTUAL PLOT TWIST I DIDNT SEE COMING. ive already mentioned this 2 people on discord but like. i hope we see more development of her and her fathers relationship before what we see in fnaf 1. i NEED 2 know what she saw i NEED 2 know why she is so haunted. what happened ta her family???? and like!! what the hell is happening 2 her as shes in that hospital brah i bet you she's having terrible nightmares and i needta see ALL OF THEM-

ALSO LIKE?? JUST REFERENCES TA THE FNAF FANDOM IN GENERAL?? THWE LIVING TOMBSTONE??? MATPAT?? CORYXKENSHIN????? SPARKY????

LET ME ALSO CONTINUE TALKING ABT THE FACE SHREDDER THING CUZ LIKE I WANNA KNOW WHY THAT WAS EVEN IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACEOMG A THOUGHT JUST HIT ME-

FACE SHREDDER SO YOU CANT IDENTIFY THE BODY???? HELLO???? anyways seeing the animatronics go crazy and kill people was very cool. i loved the animatronics soooo much they were so silly and LIVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO FULL OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GODDD I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEMMM I LOVE THAT THEY PUT IN THE EFFORT TA ACTUALLY MAKE THE ANIMATRONICS IT MADE IT SO MUCH BETTER

rambling over. i needta go study skfskjfksjdf

#spacie splains #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoilers #again being liberal with the tags so people who dont wanna be spoiled dont. be. KJJKKJKD #anyways i loved. this movie.

[athena-swords]

KNOWLEDGEABLE STUFF

disclaimer: maybe you dont wanna read if you dont have the time to read it.

RANDOM facts and info about vedic astrology,tarot,western too ig, occult , energy work , witch craft and plamistry

okay so ever thought how people during vedic time used to know about the astronomy?? like its my biggest question 

manyyy people in here ignore the number of similarity of  Aries and Pisces  people its more you know internal thing like the  care and love and kind of mental level working is same. my aries and pisces people do share it.

where ever  is mars in your house you could see that  you keep that house ruled body part stimulated or want stimulation there even in fall 

so if you wanna improve your planet effect  then most simple way is to eat the food ingredient it rules very effective and simple

okay so was studying why taurus sign is so much connected to food and ya got the answer but for that you gotta know a lil bit of vedic astrology

the moon is  janam nakhshatra that is birth and its natural house in second house  which is taurus so the reason why many of them are great with stuffs related to food as second house also talks about food.

its less talked about but fire sign people will be able to connect 2 and 2 quickely 

there essence  is to consume   be it knowledge,energy, fortune,wealth but there is always a catch the law of nature is  gonna play

remember people when you consume something its all depends on your investment or amount of efforts.

ahm so for all the tarot readers out there there is a simple question I have do you all get messages or visuals when you think about any one’s question even after being done with their reading long time ago.

the colour most prominent  in the whole spread can help you know alot.

its more of my thing but before doing any reading for someone just greet the divine self in them it will help you familiarize with the energy and  ease the reading

the person receiving the reading well  I wanna specify that all the readers read the cards sometimes its more the channeling and less the cards and vice versa so dont get confuse yaa

and to not ask those question which you very much know you can  change like how will your exam go,will you be able to go or not believe me if the reading is not as you expected you will got even try reeaching there and will be stuck .this stuffs can easliy change with little bit of your belief and on working towards it.

your decks too love care and a bit of attention so dont forget to praise and nurture them.

when making your own cards  you should think of it as your canvas like dont make it on from some rulebook 

there is literally nothing a pinch of salt cant fix be it your food or people energy.

keep your loved ones photo frame on south west direction brings lotsss of happiness and peace at home

people who feel closed to moon in any form or are Mahadev bhakt should try doing a small ritual during full moon be it affirmations candle magic or healing bath.

when you feel that you are feeling really lonely and down take three people name who you are grateful for having including you  and why just one reason is also enough

cloves are really a magic ingredient if you have some financial issue going on take some salt some ONLY in a small container keep 3 cloves in it and keep it in a place where no one usually goes in your house and tada things will get better.

I know some more but it can be misused so for now this much is enough

       So have been learning palmistry from a long time and I am quite confident so would try to do some for sure and some more stuffs that would need part 2 ig.

Take everyone grow and live your 

har har mahadev

#vedic astrology #astrology #astro notes #astrology observations #western astrology #tarot deck #tarot cards #tarot readings #spiritualgrowth #spiritualguidance #spiritualpath #Occult #vedic knowlegde #baby witch #green witch #witchythings #witchcraft #athena swords #Athena 🐚

[tddyhyck]

BLUEEEE I JUST SAW U POSTED THE FIC, I'M SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS! gonna eAT THAT UP nd let u know my thoughts 🥰

as for ur reply to my last ask - write whatever u want i'm sure it'll be wonderful. 🥰

i raise u.. jeno who's fucking u nice and deep and u both realise that u're gonna, u know, doitoverhiscocK BYE (this took so much effort to write i'm so EMBARRASSED 😭😭😭😭😭😭 idk why it came to me but i had to share haha) also u're right some of them would be sweet about it and that's so 🥺🥺 love it! i can't figure out if jaemin and/or haechan would be properly sweet and baby u or just degrade u while pretending to be sweet. (both is good but i fear this'll break my head hahah)

i definitely get u on the expectations, if not from others then u have expectations from urself. but it's supposed to bring u joy and u r doing it for fun and for free, so don't let it trouble u too much 💞

oh!! can i be 🪄 anon if that's ok?

NO STOP WITH JENO THOUGHTS I CANT 🤤🤤🤤🫣🫣🫣 his hair this comeback makes me feral like i can’t decide if i want it long or this length he’s so cuTe

but him fucking into you holding you down maybe his hand is pressed into your tummy anD you can’t help it he would just go absolutely insane for you and somehow fucking you even harder heS so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 god i die for him

i think jaemin would be sweet baby voiced but like in a condescending way u know what i mean like very “aww poor little baby” and such and hyuck ,,, he’s so switch imo

hyuck would he would would be begging you to do it for him like he will die if you don’t or calling you a dumb slut for doing it

omg lil magic anon ofc 🫶🏻

#tddyhyck ask #anon <3 #🪄<3

[drifloonz]

Steven treating Miki like a little kitten... LIKE IMAGINE CROCHETING LITTLE HATS AND WHATNOT FOR HER AND STEVEN JUST MELTS AND TAKES PHOTOS OF HER LIKE A DAD WOULD.... !!!

(im the fireworks anon btw!! although let's call myself wooloo anon cuz i love the lil guy)

FOR REAL.. i dont think hes a very big "Dress up your pet" type of guy but... if you make those things for miki he will fall in love w the concept more n' more cuz you put effort into that!! for him!!! for miki!!! and he melts at that concept bc by god, he never expected to be loved again and to cherish small things like that again. he loves gifts and clothes and so does miki ( like diseased dragon daughter like father ).

honestly a way to stevens heart without directly giving him affection is doing anything for miki at all. the fact that you like her despite her. Condition. says a lot to steven abt how much you care and it makes him care about you even more in return.

whether you put little rings on her horns, make her little hats or a necklace even - although maybe not because it makes steven dodgy and on edge.

either way, she will enjoy it if shes not using it as a chewtoy ( which is easy if you just put it somewhere she cant reach like yk. her head. )

also if you give steven a camera or a phone if he doesnt have one already bc tbh idk if he would or wouldnt have one - like. 90% of the gallery is miki photos. the rest is you. he doesnt like to perceive himself

#wispy chatters #ask #steven strangled red #steven strangled red x reader #once again by technicality that its an extension of headcanons

[abbysfawn]

Same person from before here, she's thinking of searching up fics/research here on tumblr to get it right which is really sweet of her and deserves our support if she ends up making it!! I'm so excited, we're all just some thirsty ho(l)es for Abby Anderson.

IM LATEEEEE to this AGAIN bc i didn’t expect ppl to actually inbox me,,, should probably check the inbox daily from now on IM SORRY

anyway if she actually did that, that’s so sweet?? like omg… she also had one of her friends help her w the audio as well which i find super cute like she put it sm effort into this JUST FOR US… AND ON THE FIRST OF JUNE?! bless her omg

i’m so excited for the next one cus she said she’s gonna do hard dom abby next. like i cant even !!! find the words to!!! express my feelings!!! AHHHH. i am absolutely a ho(l)e for abby anderson.

ok i’m rambling atp buttt i just keep thinking about like.. what if i never made that post abt the movie audio?? like word would’ve never gotten out and the new abby audio would’ve never existed like that’s so like weird and cool to think abt to me… IDK MAN my fault i’m being dramatic,, but algorithms are just a crazy concept to me. LIKE I CONTRIBUTED TO THIS IN A WAY? LIL OL ME?? JUST AN ABBY LOVING GIRLBLOGGER SITTING IN HER ROOM MAKING SHITPOSTS?? no way

anyway! i just wanna thank everyone who reached out to her as well,, u guys were so respectful and nice and now our dreams have been FUFILLED‼️‼️ mwah mwah

#rachie’s thoughts ༊*·˚ #rachie’s anons ༊*·˚ #audio era

[sips-tea-cutely]

*taps fingers together* May I please have some headcanons for Sayaka, Celeste, Sakura and Kiyondo with a writer s/o who has trouble getting a muse (for whoever wants to)

Sayaka, Celestia, Sakura & Kiyondo’s writer s/o looking for a muse

a/n: please love me again, i wrote something _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

#Sayaka Maizono

a light novel about magical girls? thats pretty interesting!! <333

she’d ask you for people with personality types you’re looking for and have you meet them. would be so happy if they’re a perfect fit!! (albeit a little jealous you’ll spend time with them)

every person she meets, thinks of you!! “would they be a good muse?”

would be hella honored if you ask her to be your muse and would happily answer any questions you’d want to know!

is so proud of any books you write and will happily proofread for you!! <333

cant rely on too much criticism from her though since she thinks anything you do is great but still <333

#Celestia Ludenberg

a novel depicting the life of a victorian lady in europe? ahh, she knows why you brought it up to her. of course, of course she’ll be your muse, dear <3

may or not write down tid bits about her day as a way to help you fill the blanks spots.

if she were to actually help find muses, she’d probably only recommend the men she has graded rank A such as… byakuya :00!!

of course, it was already expected that you’d ask her to be your muse, it was only a matter of time! for her dearest s/o, it will be free of charge, don’t worry :)

adores being your first reader! will read it in the morning while drinking her royal milk tea, how elegant!

still won’t be easy and will point out anything that could need fixing but would praise you especially on the things you did well!! <3

#Sakura Ogami

a martial arts story? thats amazing!! you have sakura’s 1000% support!!!

she will do ANYTHING to help you! by that, i mean she’d even ask her ex-rival/crush, kenshiro to be your muse! (still would be a lil disappointed you didn’t ask her </33)

would also tell you about the practices her and her family practice in a dojo as well as the history of martial arts, of course, only if you need it!!

would be super happy if you asked her to be your muse!! if you have trouble focusing, she’d get a coffee and protein shake for the two of you for the focus! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

like sayaka, also happy to proofread!! tbh, i think she’d read it multiple times, not cause it’s confusing, just because she knows you put effort into it :).

won’t be so light but wouldn’t be as brutal as celeste, the perfect middle! she’d give criticism about parts that were a little vague and would be happy to help you correct it!

#Kiyondo Ishida

a political romance novel? YESS YOU GO BABE !!! <33333

so aggressively supportive!! never too aggressive to scare you though, he’s still the ultimate moral compass!!

would be a little fragile to tell you about his grandfather and the schemes he did to rise to power but still glad to help you! even he has to agree, his grandfather is a bit of a villain

you want him as the main character’s inspiration? YES, OFC BABE <3333333 willing to tell you anything you’d like to know!!!

loves reading the things you write!! may or may not show it to everyone and ramble about how creative and talented you are! (would say you should be the ultimate writer and not toko/hj)

like sakura, very kind with criticism! never talks too loudly when criticizing lest you might be sensitive and cry. very helpful with writing though, he’s like a walking dictionary!!

#mod maki #danganronpa #trigger happy havoc #sayaka maizono #sayaka maizono x reader #celestia ludenberg #celestia ludenberg x reader #celeste ludenberg #celeste ludenberg x reader #sakura ogami #sakura ogami x reader #kiyondo ishida #kiyondo ishida x reader

[oatbugs]

OKKK I GET U THO I GET U im like. the same way. it feels like everyone around u is in love & gonna stay together forever. & u feel like u have this One Chance!!! with the Perfect* [*not really theyre just a person] Person!!! i think the secret for both of us is that we'll watch those "unbreakable loml" situations either stay together or fall apart like any relationship, since every1 in them is just human and maybe even feels as lonely and uncared abt as we do... and as for people who are so ideally pretty and wonderful and make ur heart race? i think we need to give ourselves a little credit for appreciating what they put on the table, exactly for what it is, & then expect the same in return... we cant just compare our romantic prospects to a nebulous future, there will be many many MANY more people and im 100% certain that u will find someone who thinks the world of you and Makes!!! you!!! feel it!!! u wont have to make excuses for someone & ull be excited to be w them every single day as much as they are for u!!! SO ITS OK TO FEEL A LIL LONELY & NEEDY RN... THOSE ARENT BAD THINGS and they Will change ❤️❤️❤️❤️ someone will MAKE THEM change when they see them bec ur just as capable of being loved & known & cared abt as everyone else by someone who will knock ur socks off & not just make u chase after them with one-sided communication (aka: if they dont ask& make an effort, its not equal & ur feelin guilty over eatin crumbs!!)

THANK YOUUUU this was rly nice and super helpful i hope i get to meet smn like that soon !! i miss that kind of feeling and throughout all of this a degree of reciprocity was missing and now maybe i'll get to find it !

#asks #anon #thank uuu

[frostbite-the-bat]

goofy ass ms paint werewolf eating a mango as a divider between the rant under this bc i do not wish to be precieved rn but i still wanna rant some thoughts out

random lovely guzma urge to delyeet everythin on myne site bc not only did i make it for petz things back when i was active between petz folks and got some encouragement there and ended up never finishing petz things for it, but i also feel horrible and uncommited for it being hosted and made on weebly and for bein too lazy to yeet my shit over to neocities just cause that shit gives me a headache and instead of getting inspired by people i feel jealous and unwelcome

also been working on my sleep schedule its a bit better now and im like. better in general now..? idk how long i can keep this up but getting up early makes me just. so tired like all day urgh i do not understand how i used to keep myself up when this tired. tired tired. brain empty. hard to do shit for long. defo needs more breaks but i swear to god everything feels like its frying my brain but i got nothin to do indoors. guess i can go draw traditionall but i end up putting such high expectations on myself i just yeah. fuck it up. get stressed. not fun. i need to stop thinking about others bc i keep thinking i put effort into smthn i need to show it off.like if i wasted time here i might as well. no this isnt showable it sucks damn it

even stuff i do draw purely for myself as self indulgent shit i go urhh this aint right

oh and then i try doin a lil excercise so im not like. physically diyng but my god that tires me out like instantly. but its okay, baby steps.

dont know what sort of place i am in mentally. the type id prolly spiral a bit over if it werent nice and 2 pm. wacky stuff. i wanna maybe do some stuff but ugh my brain just. isnt big thoughts when im tired. but honestly when am i not tired. and i am getting art done but i cant get myself to draw all day again ill end up in pain again my hand rn already is being a bit of a bitch

uhhh played pokemon in the morning but i need better pokemon already. i fuck up every raid (raids i need so i can get better mons easier) (and my shiny ralts i want easier)

hmm maybe i need a break from stuff but what kinda break what even is relaxing in my case? and "break from people" is a slippery slope of self isolation i always slip into. bit difficult to figure myself out

also, different thing, but ive been considering this for a good few months now and kinda ignoring it but i read one (1) thing and i m intrigued to do more n more research now but man do not like how moral ocd clicks perfectly with a lot of my most common issues . so i guess thats a thing to consider going into (like research) . if it helps .bc dear god i am Sensitive

but uhmmm yea sleeping better now ig like i went to sleep around ONE. my usual sleep time was 5-6 am a while ago !!!!!!! 1 am has always been my kinda usual time. man and i used to do that even when i had school and i *functioned* with less sleep. how did i do that. uhm. not well i guess

but yeah. things.. arent feeling right and i kinda wanna wipe my brain. also the neocities thing seems to be a part of my issue of (ppl who dont care abt me) r gonna thingk i suck bc i dont do (this that i find difficult) (coding) i will be exploded forever and shunned andhated

uhmmm what else yea last thought i forgot as i was gonna type it and the last thing i am deciding not to share anyway bc Shame so hooray

guy who is eeypy tired

i am just realizing how like tired i am but if i go nap ill make it worse so uhmm cope i guess lmfao at least it keeps me going to sleep at a more regular hour but like srsly brain we got around 8 hours of sleep why are you tired we used to get less and function fine. maybe not as good but we functioned

#vent #rant #??? i dont know im not feeling emotional currently. putting myself and my thoughts under #a microscope i suppose #keeping reblogs on incase i wanna add to this but i swear to god if anyone #rbs my personal vent post again bc of an image attached #i dont care i will block you

[somberthoughtsseldomeffort]

May 17th, 2023

   I really need some time to self reflect or something. I feel like I am a prisoner to my own low self esteem and my continued effort to not only self deprecate but to just generally think i am not deserving of anything. I have been falling victim to this for years and quite frankly it has felt this way my entire life. I am so tired, and sick of being the reason I can not improve. I often blamed others for my short comings because if they had responded differently, if they hadn't put me though such shit, maybe i would have been better? Why couldn't I be birthed and raised with love?

    At my big ass age its really time for me to be responsible for the things that I do and how i feel and how i react. After countless rejection and no joy of things I want to do I would much rather do them alone than with other people. I think having the expectation of being treated better has really been my biggest downfall. I am not a maiden who men save, I am not mother earth that women feel comfort in. I am but a empty motel with a vacancy sign, i shelter those from long weary travel. I home them, provided needs till their well rested and can continue on in their journey. I am the back up plan but not plan b. I am A to Y and rarely am I ever Z. I cant seem to be a priority for anyone not even myself. days, weeks, months, and years seem to flash before me and yet i am still the same lil girl. Crying to tumblr and not making any effort.  I think this will be a promise to myself to do better and be better and just idk flourish. cause if i cant do it for me then who will 

[iamloveandlightsworld]

I had an okay day

The last month I've been talkative and not too down

But then like a switch

I feel like I'm being pulled under the water again

My mind is chanting stick a knife in your throat

You're disgusting

I hate looking myself in the mirror

I haven't been drinking water

So ofcourse my face looks like a monster

I haven't been moving ofcourse my body is disgusting

I don't have a personality ,I'm as bland as they come

I'm a fraud,an imposter

I'm a bad person who loses interest in people and then blame them for not caring enough

I'm pathetic because I expect people to care when I'm already pushing everyone away

Lately most shows I watch with mum there has been a suicide

And she'll comment something like Amejiua

And she has zero awareness that I am thinking and planning on how to die

There are so many people who have potential and are good people and have the will to live but they die

I wish I could give them my life

You might be wondering..ah..she was so weak and such a coward..did she expect us to read her mind...why didn't she ask for help...she knows we love her and we supported her

Maybe I'm wrong

I'm a lazy ass bitch who can't get off her ass and look for work

I've wasted everybody's time and money

Mum and dad must have spent a fortune on my education

But lil sad Gin...poor Gin...just take your meds and integrate into society and stop being so pathetic

You expect people to wake up and serve you

What a joke....can I just sleep and never wake up again

Why am I so resistant to God

People seem to have their lives together when they believe and trust in God

I don't really try to make an effort to get to know him

The being in charge of me

The being who supposedly loves me so much he brought me to existence to fulfill some type of purpose when I'm on earth....the one who will send my soul straight to an eternity of pain and misery

Gin...you think being this privileged is so miserable

Wait till you're in purgatory and burning in hell for an eternity

Why the fuck are you so resistant

I think it's because I'm exhausted

I don't want to be helped

Maybe I deserve an eternity for suffering

You're nothing but a waste of space

Taking up oxygen that someone else needs

Like I lie in bed and let mum slave herself with house chores

Like Fuck Gin....you could at least be helpful if you're going to lazy around in bed and eat free food and get free shelter and clothes and electricity and comfort

I mean why the fuck do you feel like you're suffering

What the fuck is wrong with me

JUST TAKE THE KNIFE AND PLUNGE IT IN YOUR HEART

YOU DESERVE A PAINFUL DEATH

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD DAUGHTER

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD SISTER

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD NIECE

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD GRANDCHILD

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD FRIEND

YOU ARE NOT A GOOD HUMAN

SO HURRY UP AND STOP BEING SUCH A PUSSY

THE MORE YOU PRETEND PEOPLE NEED YOU

THE MORE IM HURTING THEM, NO ONE NEEDS YOU

I MEAN THEY WILL BE HURT AND BETRAYED BY MY SELFISHNESS 😂😂😂🤣SEE EVEN IN DEATH YOU ARE A MISERY TO EVERYONE‼️

YOUR COALS TO BURN YOU ALIVE FOR ETERNITY ARE ALREADY BEING LIT

I MEAN I DONT WANT TO GO TO HELL

IM NOT EVIL

I DONT WANT TO BE ON LUCIFER'S OR GOD'S SIDE

I JUST DONT WANT TO BE ON ANYONE'S SIDE

I DONT WANT TO EXIST

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOES ON AFTER ONE DIES...BUT CAN I JUST PLEASE DISSAPPEAR AND CEASE TO EXIST

LOOK AT YOU GIN

RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE LIKE A COWARD

AND ALSO TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM MY PUNISHMENT

I FEEL LIKE I CANT BREATHE

I FEEL LIKE MY HEART IS BEING SQUEEZED SO HARD

YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO HUMAN SOCIETY

YOU SEXUALITY

YOUR MINDSET

NO ONE NEEDS SUCH FILTH,DIRTY STAINS IN THEIR LIVES

I WAS HERE BUT I WAS NEVER HERE

YOU SAID HELLO ONCE OR TWICE

SO MY DEPARTURE FROM EXISTING SHOULDNT AFFECT YOU AT ALL

JUST ATTEND MY SENDING AWAY BTS THEMED "FUNERAL"...CRY A LITTLE...REMINISCE SOME OLD TIMES WE HAD TOGETHER AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES

FOR MY FAMILY...I AM EXTREMELY PROFOUNDLY SORRY TO MY FAMILY...I WISH I COULD ERASE MYSELF IN A NOT SO TRAUMATIC WAY..LIKE A PHYSICAL ILLNESS OR SOMETHING...THATS EASIER TO ACCEPT AND MOVE ON

BUT MAYBE LEARN FROM ME

IT MIGHT BE PAINFUL

BUT PLEASE GROW CLOSER AS A FAMILY

STAND TOGETHER AND LOVE THE HELL OUT OF ONE ANOTHER

To be completely transparent and honest,Bangtan are a very high reason why I never stick a knife in my throat esp Park Jimin...I keep telling myself to wait and see what they do next....they will never know they had someone who loved them so much that they were my life jackets,my beam of light...they will never know of my existence as an individual and that's okay...it's been a great journey with them...they made me see the beauty of life but unfortunately the darkness won....I CAN BREATHE TOTALLY FINE BUT I CANT BREATHE....MY LUNGS ARE BURNING..MY MIND IS SCREAMING....DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE WHY WONT YOU DIE YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT....🤮🤮🤮YOU DISGUST ME..NOTHING ABOUT YOU IS LOVEABLE...WELL YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE..THEY CANT HATE YOU...GOD STRIKE ME DOWN..IM AN EMBARRASSMENT AND A WASTE OF SPACE, A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM...PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND ERASE ME...PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND JUST MAKE ME DISSAPPEAR NEVER TO EXIST AGAIN..PLEAS HAVE MERCY ON ME AND FORGIVE ME

PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME AND DONT CONDEMN ME TO AN ETERNITY OF PAIN AND SUFFERING

GIN.....WHAT IS RHHSSUEYEHKSKAUJDJKDJWJEJJEJEJJEJWJJRJDJJAKSJDIIE...IM TIRED AND EXHAUSTED AND DONE

PLEASE DONT HATE ME

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

I don't own any of this photos credit to the original owners

#thoughts #negativeintrusivethoughts #self-deprecating #mental health #mentally drained #exhausted af #archive #late night thoughts

[choccymilk]

rant time bc i have Sum Thoughts lol

i rly dont like those posts that have been going around saying something to the effect of  ~oh im sorry im so bad at messaging/being a friend/communicating but just know i still love you and blah blah and I will continue to do this btw bc this is just how i am and it cant be helped so u cant yell at me and u must love me just as much as when i talked to you regularly :) ~ and then it gets like 10k notes from all the ppl who actively do this and want to feel better about it. like ._. no.. thats not how that works and you need to hold yourself accountable to healthy communication with the people you value and if you dont then they are allowed to detach/not feel as close to you bc youre not giving them any stable connection to go off of.

like we’re all going through stuff, we all know the pressures of social upkeep, we all have periods where we’re tired and life is too much to bear and talking to someone can feel like too much effort and too messy to navigate when you can barely navigate your own mind but there are ways to go about it and it is not dropping off the face of the earth every week without notice and being like “haha Im just bad at messaging but its fine bc we all understand right? ^^”. like yeah I can sympathize and understand but that doesnt mean I have to then accept that version of a friendship and maintain vulnerability/closeness to you--especially when you dont even do simple check ins and keep me up with WHY youre not speaking and stuff. i dont even think some of you understand what friendship is like if you need THAT many breaks from being a friend then you’re not a friend im sorry thats what friends are literally for is to talk to when youre down and you can need to have alone time too but not when its practially all the time whenever you want without warning. like that is inevitably going to affect the relationship, it wears the friendship out. 

& i think a lot of you are reblogging these posts bc you do this stuff and you want to feel like it’s justified, and youre circulating the idea that “true” friends *should* be understanding and accept that youre a spotty communicator and if they don’t then it’s somehow theyre fault for not being patient or understanding enough when in reality it’s on you and you’re just shifting the blame and setting an impossible standard. youre saying oh well they’re not a “true” friend if they dont understand. no ur not a true friend when you cut the tie whenever you want just to come back and then force a new knot that makes the bond more fragile every time. youre fraying the cord and making it shorter and less pliable each time so that whenever you pull there’s gonna be a lil less give and eventually it’s gonna give out and get too short to repair. and that’s okay but that’s inevitably on you. you can’t expect to have a stable healthy connection if you’re gonna do that, you have to then be ok with the results. you have to be okay with them if they see you differently or treat you differently or share less or prioritize other ppl who give them more time and effort and consistency bc its a 2 way street if youre allowed to be inconsistent and unavailable theyre allowed to be less vulnerable and devoted and spend less energy on you bc its exhausting putting in the effort on someone just to lose all progress and backtrack bc they abandon you all the time. 

#this isnt about anyone in particular i just see this kinda post allll the time now and i fear that its being abused and twisted and #essentially misused as an excuse for shitty behavior like oh i get a pass now its all peace and love :3 #like u cant build friendships or intimacy that way imo i think what u guys r thinking is friendship is rly just some weird facade of like.. #fake gestures of sympathy that are rly surface level bc u have nothing else to go off of other than #oh ur sad and u dont wanna talk? haha me too im also sad and dont wanna talk ok good talk bestie bye #like ._. huh #its okay if thats what friendship looks like to you if that somehow does something for you and makes you feel heard and seen then gr8 but #it is... MORE than okay if other ppl don't feel the same way and need more and #im not down with the whole ~theyre not a true friend bc they dont understand wah~ mentality

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ��── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse social media au #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband fic #corpse husband social media au #social media au #myso #make you say oh #quackity #dream smp #corpse x y/n #imagine #imagines #reader #xreader