#but eating people’s trauma is crossing a line

[em1e]

万次郎 // GIVEN THE CHOICE ⠀ ༝ ༝ bonten!mikey ⠀ ༝ ༝ 8.4k words ⠀ ⚠︎ big brother!draken, mentions of violence, character death, manga spoilers, pregnancy, angst, suggestive?, implied fem!reader but no pronouns. ⠀ — you've always liked mikey growing up. how do you tell him years down the line that you've had his kid?

there’s not much to say about being the younger sibling to draken. 

even less about his delinquent friends he seemed to follow around like a puppy. 

but you could say a lot about his friend mikey. self-proclaimed leader at the age of eleven, you watched from the sidelines as he became the true leader of his silly group toman, saw how it’d develop to something more as you grow older. 

and as the years pass, you become more acquainted with those same people he’s always around - namely one baji keisuke, who made it very apparent from the start he wanted to be your friend because ‘only cool guys have a weak best friend’ and apparently no one else in toman was weak. 

days turn to weeks turn to years with you in their shadow, but you’ve never seemed to mind. 

you enjoy your view from the sidelines. 

“you can’t tell anyone.” you warn baji with a finger pointed in his direction, eyes narrowed as if that could somehow make your threat more lethal. 

he holds his hands up in mock-defense, taking a step away with his shoulders slouched, “you have my word.” 

you look away from him, arms crossing over your chest as you answer. 

“sorry?” he tilts his head, leaning forward, “didn’t quite catch that.” 

you feel yourself flush, hiding your face to mumble the reply, “mikey.” 

there’s a beat of silence for all of five seconds before he starts laughing. 

“you have a crush on mikey? of all people?” 

you shove him away from you when he leans against you for support, yet still manage to press your hand against his mouth because he’s so fucking loud, “quiet down,” you hiss out, “they’re supposed to be ‘round the corner, will you shut up?!” 

“just think it’s funny how you ‘nd your brother have a thing for each of the sano siblings-”

“quiet!” 

draken and mikey stumble upon you with a fist full of baji’s hair, the other hand pressed firmly against his mouth while he has his own shoving at your face to keep you away. 

and that’s just how most days go - when they aren’t terrorizing the city, they’re bothering you for one reason or another. 

until it isn’t. 

until kazutora gets released from juvie and baji leaves you in the dust and then dies after. . . it’s a lot to take in, especially for someone so young - so close to someone who suddenly drops it on you that they want nothing to do with you, and then you hear during the aftermath from your brother that he was begging for you to forgive him, for you to take care of mikey, too, because someone has to. 

until draken finds you curled in on yourself sobbing because even to the end, baji put other people above himself and it’s so fucking unfair that that’s how he meets his demise. 

you stay in your room for a week without moving. it takes draken practically dragging you out of the space to get you into the world again, mikey at his side with a frown. 

and maybe it’s from the mutual trauma of losing someone so close to you (despite it being a thousand times worse for mikey, since he was actively there at the scene), but you and mikey grow closer after baji’s death. 

you make sure one another eats, that you’ve done your assignments on time, that you’re getting enough sleep, that you’re taking care of yourselves. 

it stays like that for a while, you tucked behind mikey and draken like a secret, something no one else can touch or bother with emma at your side. 

and then she dies, too. 

her death was the breaking point for them, you think. 

unexpected and quick and cruel that mikey had to watch her pass, the tensions eating away at them and bursting at the seams from the announcement of her death. when draken came back home with busted knuckles and tear-stained cheeks, it broke you because your big brother was supposed to be the strong one. a piece of you chipped away when he crumbled in your embrace, sobs wrecking through his body while you held him close. 

the funeral isn’t any better, tensions still high, and draken steps away at the end when you move to talk to mikey. 

you promise to check in on him when you can, pull him into a hug while offering your condolences, and when you separate he doesn’t look at you as he says his thanks. 

when you make your way to draken, you will yourself to glance back at mikey and . . . he looks so small, standing beside his grandpa. unfocused on the people that come up, shake his hand with frowns, then leave. as if feeling your stare on him, he looks up to meet your gaze, and with such a small glance, you can see how heavily everything’s weighed down on him. how cruel the world has been to him, and how it remains unrelenting of punches. 

he looks away before you do, and draken pulling you close to him by the shoulder to keep you from walking into someone draws your attention away from mikey. 

weeks turn to months, passing without a hitch, and you do your best to check in on mikey when you can. some days you visit and his grandpa answers the door, turning you away because mikey’s out and he doesn’t know where he is - most days your texts and calls go unanswered. 

ken later informs you toman’s disbanded and he isn’t sure what to do with himself. despite your best efforts, getting in contact with mikey becomes harder and harder, until it becomes an impossible feat altogether. 

years pass with no contact - with everyone lives moving forward, with your brother owning his own bike shop and inupi coming to work with him, and you getting an insane job offer for your dream position. it’s crazy amazing for someone your age to see an opportunity like this, and you’re elated beyond belief by the proposition, except . . . it’s on the other side of japan. 

you’d have to leave everything you’ve ever known for the chance of a lifetime, and it’s your brother who encourages you to take it. 

“who knows if something like this could happen again,” he says with a smile, ruffling your hair in a way that big brothers do, “you’ll always have a home here to come to if things don’t pan out.” 

you see everyone you can in the weeks before you leave, even manage to pin down mitsuya for coffee before he leaves for another exciting runway event in italy (you tease how you wish you’d be going there instead - he offers an invite once you’re settled in your new apartment). 

the only person you couldn’t pinpoint a location for was . . . mikey. 

despite your many calls to the old number you have stored in your phone, searching for him at his old childhood home, even asking draken and the other friends from his old gang - no one knew. you amaze yourself with your own detective skills, though, by some miracle able to find an address - you applaud yourself as you step to the door, double checking the apartment number matches what you have written down before you knock. 

there’s a moment where you stand dumbly waiting for someone to open the door, and you think for a second maybe you have the wrong apartment, or maybe he’s not home, or -

there’s a click of the lock sounding, the door creaking open just enough for you to see the darkness inside. 

you brighten when mikey peeks his head around the door, leaning against the frame and just . . . staring, expression unreadable. 

“hi . . .” you breath out, “’ve been lookin’ for you.” 

“that spells trouble.” he says without missing a beat, looking down both ends of the hall before he pushes the door open further. an invitation to enter, one you take gratefully. 

“for who?” you can’t help but tease, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room as you spin to face him closing the door, “me? or you?” 

“depends on how this goes.” he shrugs, leaning against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. 

you don't take his words as the threat they are, smile still as bright as when he first pulled open the door, “how have you been? it’s been a while.” 

“‘ve been better,” he looks away from you, “definitely been worse.” 

“wellll, “ you spin on your heel to get a look at his apartment, reaching for the wall where the lightswitch sits and flipping them on, “what have you been up to? s’nice apartment, even better with the lights on.” you chastise lightly, making yourself at home somewhere you surely could never consider it to be. 

when you turn back to face him, he’s already behind you, hand on your wrist, still touching the switch. 

“what do you want, (y/n)?” he asks. your gaze softens on him, now able to take in the light bags under his eyes, the way his frame is smaller than you remember. 

“to talk,” you answer gingerly, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, “to see you and know you’re not dead in a ditch in roppongi.”

“you can clearly see i’m not, s’there more?, ” the words leave his lips bitterly, contrasting how his eyes flutter closed, how he leans into your touch. 

“‘m moving pretty far,” you add after a moment of silence, “otherside of japan. just wanted to see you’re okay before i leave.” your thumb rubs gentle circles into his cheek, head tilting when his eyes snap open at the admission. 

“what for?” he pries, and the way he asks reminds you of when you were kids; when he’d beg and beg and beg to play with the toy you were already playing with if only for the fact that you were playing with it, how he’d whine and pout until you relented because you couldn’t stand the idea of him being upset with you. 

“a job,” you’re completely transparent as you answer, “‘the opportunity of a lifetime’. it felt . . . i dunno, wrong? to not share the good news with you-mph?” 

you're silenced by him suddenly pulling you to him, lips pressed to your own with his hands cupping your cheeks, and truth be told it’s everything fourteen-year-old you dreamed of and more. everything you ever wanted in life kissing you in his apartment before you go miles and miles away to start a completely different dream and it hurts. 

but you don’t have it in you to push him away, not when he presses you against the wall to deepen the kiss, or when he pulls your clothes off of you with a desperation that leaves you whining and begging, or when he guides you to his bedroom and continues his affection that holds the passion and emotion that’d been buried under fifteen years of dirt. he brings out each skeleton from the closet with every thrust until the both of you are spent, laying naked in each other’s embrace until you fall asleep. 

it’s surprising, almost, to wake up the next morning alone in a bed that isn’t yours. 

there’s no sign of mikey when you look around the apartment, the only tell of him even staying in the form of a stack of cash with a note in his familiar handwriting left on the kitchen counter. 

hope this helps you get started in the new city. - mikey 

a number sits in a smaller font under the note, in even smaller writing it says for emergencies, use this number. 

it feels weird, taking the money with no way to show your appreciation, so you rip a small corner from the paper and write your thanks out, the promise of visiting him soon when you’re back in town added with a heart at the end of your note. 

two days later, and you’re driving to a new city with your entire life packed in suitcases and boxes - a moving truck scheduled to deliver your belongings a day after you get to your apartment. 

almost two months pass, and you find you’re settling well; everyone at the company adores you, and the building your apartment’s in sits across from a nice ramen shop that you like to go to every tuesday night after you get paid. 

you come down with a stomach bug, one you can’t seem to shake, and after a week of calling out and forcing yourself to work despite being exhausted and crabby and ill, you go to the doctor. 

imagine your surprise when he tells you you’re fucking pregnant. 

two months, in fact, proven with the sonogram he sets you up with, and you’re calling your brother in hysterics in your car when the appointment is over. 

“pregnant?” he repeats over the phone, after taking the first five minutes of the call just trying to calm you down, “by who?” 

you’re chewing your lip raw as you answer, “mikey . . .” 

there’s a beat of silence, before you’re whispering out, “‘m scared, ken. i-i’m miles from home and-and i just started this job and i don’t even know if i can take care of a baby on my own-” 

“you’re gonna keep it?” he asks, tone genuine. 

“i . . . yeah, i think so - i-i mean, i want to . . . is that stupid? is that a stupid want for me to have?” your lip wobbles waiting for his answer. 

“no, but . . . s’lot of work, (y/n). if it’s something you do want, you know i’ll support you in any way i can, you just gotta tell me how to help.” 

“i wan’a come home.” you settle, and the way the words leave your lips remind you of a child, begging a parent for something so small when this is anything but. 

“we can do that,” draken promises, “i’ll get a flight and help you pack or get inupi to ride with me. we’ll figure it all out, don’t stress.” 

you sniffle, wiping at your face hastily, “kay . . . okay. thank you ken.” 

“f’course,” you can hear the smile in his voice over the phone, “s’what big brother’s are for.” 

and the next few weeks are filled with moving your life back home, with the help of draken and inupi. the people at your job are nothing but happy at the news for you, despite being sad to see you go - they wish you the best in life, though, and even offer another position to apply if you ever decide to come back to the area. it’s sweet, really. 

you move into draken’s house and have a healthy baby boy that looks so much like mikey, you think it might kill you. you name him shin. 

he makes you promise to not try to seek out mikey one night, after you’d rocked shin to sleep and put him down in his crib. 

“no one knows what he’s been up to,” he argues quietly when your brows furrow at the demand, “and frankly, the few ties i still have with gangs make me worried from what little things they tell me.” 

“but those could just be rumors,” you frown, “he deserves to know he has a kid.” 

“it’s dangerous, (y/n).” draken settles with the finality of a parent telling their kid they can’t have another cookie, “‘m serious. don’t try to contact him.” 

despite the weight the conversation holds, you can’t help but stick your tongue out at him childishly. something he returns, only to narrowly dodge the stuffed animal you throw his way in opposition. 

and though the warnings loom in the air, you can’t help but try to let mikey know - calling the number he left countless times, trying to use your rusty detective skills that aided you in finding him almost a year ago, just trying to make him aware that you had his son. 

you don’t seek child support, or demand otherworldly things that a parent could only dream of (a rocking chair that massages your back and automatically rocks? you drool at the thought), you just feel it’s something he deserves to know. something he should be given a choice to be a part of. 

except he’s known since you moved back. 

it was a difficult task, keeping tabs on you when you were so far away, but he knew from the day you settled into draken’s home by word of mouth from koko. it must’ve been a punishment for koko, to check in on all of their friend’s from their pasts, to make sure their lives are going how they want them to and make sure everyone is happy. 

mikey couldn’t stomach the photos koko would offer, waving them away and requesting the verbal update instead, and when your son is born, he’s only informed that there’s no father on the birth certificate. your attempts to contact him died in vein, the number he gave you belonging to an old throw away phone he got rid of a week after he left it with you. he didn’t think you’d ever need it. 

three years pass, and koko would be damned to say the kid doesn't look like a photocopy of mikey. wild blond hair, all bright eyed and sweet. 

you work at a diner now, usually leave shin with draken and inupi for your nightshift and ken takes him home when he’s done at the garage. 

it’s cute, the way they interact with him - they let him get in the way of their work, careful so he doesn’t get hurt, but allow his curiosity and grubby hands grab hold of tools and bolts and pieces they need. 

you're not overly fond of letting shin have his way with whatever he can pinch between his fingers, since usually whatever he does find ends up in his mouth like a chew toy, but ken and inupi tease you for being too overprotective. 

you still live with ken, despite insisting the need to get out of his hair, but he promises it’s okay to take your time since he adores his nephew and doesn’t mind helping, and inupi’s became a good friend by proxy. 

it’s rare for you and your brother to argue, especially in front of shin, and truly you’re not sure what sparked the conversation in the first place - all you know is you’re upset. 

“inupi, tell my brother it’s unfair for mikey to not know he has a kid.” 

“inui, tell my sibling if mikey wanted to be involved, he would be. simple as that.” 

“we don’t even know if he knows,” you groan out, leaving inupi to hold up his hands defensively. 

“i have no argument in this.” is all he offers. 

“but you have some insight, “ you counter, kneeling down when shin tugs on your pants, “you know the story-” 

“i’m just sayin’ you’ve tried for three years-” draken starts.

“four.” 

“-four years, “ he continues, “and you’ve gotten nothing. i don’t see a need for you to continue if you’ve come up empty handed for so long.” 

“because, ken-” 

shin’s lip wobbles for a second before he bursts into tears, gripping the front of your shirt until you’re shushing him and pulling you towards him in a hug, “shhh, baby, it’s okay. what’s wrong?” 

he continues to cry despite you rocking him, and it takes draken pulling him out of your arms while tickling his sides to make him stop. 

“prob’ly didn’t like the arguing.” inupi comments, dodging a wrench you throw his way with a glare. 

“we’ll talk about this later,” you sigh out, standing on your toes to squeeze shin’s cheeks, “i love, love, love you.” you emphasize each ‘love��� with a kiss to his chubby cheeks, happy to hear his crying replaced with giggles and incoherent toddler babble. 

your shift at work isn’t anything special - you have some regulars that come in at the odd hours of night, and by the end of your shift, you’re the last to leave; finishing out some paperwork the managers can’t be bothered to do despite getting paid far less than them to do it. 

you fish your keys from your bag, unlock your car, ready to begin the short drive home but . . . your car won’t start. 

of course it doesn’t. it’s an older model, one you were supposed to take to the scrap yard for a slightly newer model last month but couldn’t because shin unexpectedly got sick and you had to fork out some cash to make sure he got better. 

you sigh, pop the hood of the vehicle as if maybe some of your brother’s knowledge of mechanics could somehow transfer to you, and call the aforementioned male. 

it rings. . . and rings . . and rings. no answer. 

you try again. 

nothing. 

you kick at the front bumper in frustration, running a hand over your face in search of another contact. surely inupi is awake at two in the morning, right? 

the call rings out, and you’re really worried it’s going straight to voicemail for a second, but he picks up on seemingly the last buzz, “hello?” he sounds groggy, like you did just wake him up. you don’t have time to dwell on the thought when a group of guys appear from the sidewalk, spotting and attempting to talk to you in one breath. 

“car won’t start?” one asks, nudging his friend as they make their way closer to you, “we can help.” 

you turn away from them, “hey inui, can you come get me from work? ken didn’t answer and my car won’t start.” 

“hey.” the guys are much closer now, one stepping around to the front of the car while the other two stand off to your right, vying for your attention. 

“yeah f’course. there other people around you?” there’s some shuffling from inupi’s end, like he’s getting out of bed. 

“yeah. um, how long till you can be here?” 

“ten? minutes maybe.” you swallow at the answer. 

“great, i’ll see you in five.” 

you pull the phone from your ear slightly, turning back to face the two guys to your right, “i don’t need any help, i have a friend on the way-” 

there’s only a moment between you dismissing their assistance before the guy who was at the front of your car is shoving at your shoulder and pinning you to the side of your car, one hand pressed firmly to your mouth while the other squeezes your wrist until your phone falls from your hand and kicks it away. 

you shove a hand at his face, trying to reach into your bag for your taser or pocket knife or a really sharp pencil when the guy moves his hand from your mouth to your throat, squeezing hard enough you’re sure it’ll bruise, while tearing your bag from your shoulder and throwing it to sit with your phone. 

the smell of alcohol comes off of him in waves when he grins, leaning down to get a good look at you, “we can ‘elp ya,” he offers, “but not for free.” 

your nails bite into the skin of his wrist, the need to breath overtaking every other sense desperately while you continue to kick and claw at him.

his grip only relents at the sound of a motorcycle idling in the parking lot, but the pressure of his hand still keeps you in place by the throat, head turning to address who could see fit to interrupt this ‘exchange’. the man on the bike adjusts the mask on his face, tucks his long platinum hair to the side, seeming to ignore the eyes on him. 

“diner’s closed,” one of the other guys says, stepping towards the stranger, “and we’re kinda busy here ourselves-” 

he doesn’t get the chance to really say what they’re doing when the guy steps off the bike and just swings. 

his fist meets the guy's cheek with a harsh thwack while mumbling, “shouldn’t touch shit that doesn’t belong to you.” 

the guy holding you up releases his grip completely, leaving you to drop to the ground when your legs buckle under your weight, frozen and left only watching as the two remaining men are taken down easily by your potential savior. 

when the three stay unmoving on the ground, he crouches in front of you, adjusting the mask on his face once again while taking in your shaken form. 

“you okay?” you don’t trust your voice, so you only nod, “is someone on the way to get you? or d’ya need a ride?” 

you nod again, “i-inui’s coming.” you manage to whisper out, unable to catch the way his eyes widen slightly as he stands to his full height. 

he begins to walk away, back to his motorcycle that’s still running, but his steps hesitate when you call out, “is that you, koko?” 

he doesn’t turn to face you, doesn’t address if you’re correct in your assumption, “don’t worry ‘bout all this,” he says instead, “i’ll take care of it.” 

and then he’s climbing onto his bike, pulling out of the parking lot less than a minute before inupi’s pulling into it. 

you’re still on the ground when he rushes towards you to see if you’re okay, stepping over the unconscious bodies with little regard. you recount what happened, which inupi dismisses since he remained on the phone until he pulled into the parking lot. 

“do . . . was it really koko?” he asks, helping you up from the cement and gathering the items that spilled from your bag, offering your now cracked phone to you with a frown. 

“i’m not sure . . . i never really knew him like you did, “ you reach into your car to grab the important belongings and shove them in your bag, “it didn’t look like him but . . . it sounded like him. was his eyes, i think.” 

inupi looks away at this, “so what do you wanna do? ‘bout these guys?” 

you swallow, keeping your stare away from the three on the floor, “he said he'd take care of it and i don’t . . . i just wanna go home.”

“okay,” inui’s hand finds it place at the small of your back, guiding you gently to his bike and helping you on, “i’ll take you home.” 

when inupi walks you through the foyer, draken’s in front of you the second the door falls shut. 

you can see his worry in the crease of his brow, from the way he grabs your shoulders to give you a once-over and frowning at the way your neck seems to be irritated beyond belief, “are you okay? i-i had to put shin back to bed because he woke up ‘nd i didn’t have my phone on me but when tried calling back but you didn’t answer.” 

“‘m okay . . .” you assure, peeling yourself away from him, “gonna go shower . . um, inui can tell you what happened.” 

your voice is so small as you speak, ken can only nod and watch you disappear into the hall before he turns to inui, who delves into the story based on what he heard over the phone and what you told him when he arrived.

you scrub your skin raw in the shower, until it almost stings from how harsh you rub. you slip out of the bathroom quietly after, sneak your way into shin’s nursery and sit by his bed for just a second to decompress, rubbing the boys back softly while he sleeps. 

the peace is disrupted by ken peeking his head around the door, “c’mon, we gotta talk ‘bout it.” 

you almost pout, childlike, “do we have to?”

the look he gives you offers no leeway to argue, so you sigh and press a kiss to shin’s hair before standing, deciding now isn’t the time to start an argument. 

inupi’s gone when you come out to the living room, tucking your legs under yourself as you sit on the couch with ken beside you. 

you feel like a child they way you explain what happened, unable to look at him as you speak. ken visibly stiffens at the mention of the potential koko coming to your aid, interrupting you mid story to remind you, “you know it doesn’t matter that he helped you, right. you’re not gonna go out lookin’ for him or mikey or whoever else.” 

you frown at his words, opening your mouth to argue but he shakes his head before you can, “no, (y/n), ‘m serious. it’s too dangerous.”

you look down, defeated, but nod your head, “okay . . . fine.”

and really, you had full intention to abide by the warning. but . . . your boss called you the next day, said something about the diner being closed for the next few days because of something you couldn’t be bothered to remember and that you’d still be paid for the lost hours. 

the details don’t matter, really. you drop shin off with draken as usual, avoid mentioning the fact that you have the day off, and leave with the intent to use the next free hours just . . . looking. for koko or mikey or anyone who might know anything about either of them. 

it’s stupid, you think, to search and pry so openly, bouncing from bars and clubs asking anyone who’ll listen, but within three hours, you’ve gathered the following; 

mikey runs some big name gang. baton? batten? something. 

he has some executives that help run his gang, some of which own a few of the clubs in the shiftier parts of the city – haitani’s? you think they’re called?

the haitani’s are close to koko, who’s close to mikey, and really that’s the only thing you need. 

so you continue going from club to club, under the impression that apparently the haitani’s frequent their own clubs just about every night. you hear about a nicer club towards the edge of the city, one they favor to the other’s since the liquor is stronger and the girls are prettier – but these are all things you’ve heard from other people, so who knows how true it really is.

when you make it to the club, you wonder if your sundress is something considered to be ‘underdressed’. surely the juice stain on the front isn’t working in your favor as the bouncer gives you a once-over. 

“yer lookin’ for who, now?” he asks, one brow raised with his arms crossed over his chest. 

if you had any sense in you, you’d probably be scared of the way he eyes you down, but growing up around idiots who don’t know when to stop messing around has really ruined your fight or flight response. 

“the haitani brothers..” you reply, mocking the way he crosses his arms over his chest, “i heard they sometimes come by here, i thought maybe-” 

“you thought, huh?” his eyes rake over your form, and your arms shift protectively around yourself instead of mocking him, “well i think you should get outta here ‘fore you get hurt.” 

“i just need to know if they’re here-” 

he turns away from you with a hand pressed to the earpiece sitting in his ear, looking into the building before he turns to face you again with a squinted glare, “you sure they’re the right one? yeah. yeah. right. i’ll send ‘em up.” 

he gestures towards the inside of the building, nodding his head, “straight ahead, up the stairs.”

with those instructions, you head towards the back of the club and find a set of stairs, separated by a velvet rope with another bouncer standing in front of it. as if expecting your arrival, he unhooks the rope from its place and steps aside, gesturing for you to follow the stairs up. 

at the top of the stairs sits a closed door and when you push it open, peeking around it to get a look inside, you see a nice couch with two guys perched on them - one with a girl who you can assume is from the club sitting in his lap, while the other sips from the drink in his hand, eyeing you the second you’re past the threshold. 

the one with the girl in his lap openly squeezes her ass, grinning at you when you look away quickly. he leans forward, whispering something in her ear, and she stands with a pout, practically glaring at you as she leaves. 

the door clicks shut behind her, and you’re left in awkward silence with the thrum of music playing under your feet. 

after a moment, the one with a drink in hand tilts his head at you, “what’s a pretty thing like you doin’, askin’ for us by name?” 

“‘m lookin’ for koko . . .” you voice is smaller than you remember, making you almost cringe in on yourself at the way they eat it up. 

“why’re ya lookin’ for our koko?” 

“w-we’re friends.” you stutter out, “i just. . . need to talk to him.” 

“where’d all that confidence go?” the one who had the girl in his lap tsks as he stands, “we heard you over his comms, you were practically demanding to talk to us - now you’re a stuttering lil’ mess. what happened between now and then?” 

he stops in front of you, head tilted as he looms over you, “maybe you should get to know us first. ‘m ran, that’s rindou. thought we knew ‘bout all the nice things koko keeps hidden away.” 

though he isn’t speaking to you for the last part, his eyes don’t leave you while they rake over your face, over your body. he reaches to cup your cheek, almost pouting at the way you flinch away from the contact with a frown. 

“i’m just lookin’ for koko.” you settle with, leaning away from him. 

ran actually does pout at this, bottom lip jutted out. “you’re tellin’ me we can’t have some fun before he gets here?” 

“that’s exactly what they’re sayin’, actually.” someone says from behind you, and you jump when you’re being pulled away from ran by your upper arm. a glance behind you reveals the man you’ve been waiting for - koko, with his hair pulled neatly to the side and a scowl on his face. 

ran grins at the sight of him, clapping his hands as if he wasn’t just making you uncomfortable. rindou just clicks his tongue. 

“s’a shame you got here so quick. thought we’d have some time to get to know ‘em.” 

“as if you’d try.” koko accuses, fingers digging into your skin, “you know he’d be pissed if you did anything.” 

“who said anything ‘bout trying anything. just wanna know who’s got our dear boss so worked up all the time.” 

instead of giving him the satisfaction of a reply, koko fully faces you with his eyes narrowing to further slits, “you must be crazy to come here, even crazier to ask around for us in the first place.” 

“i need to see mikey,” you frown, “was the only way i could think of since it was you that showed up the other day, right?”

you can see the way he clenches his jaw, muscles tight, “doesn’t matter. do you know how dangerous it was for you to ask around for us? mikey isn’t someone you can just see anyways-” 

“why can’t they?” rindou, seemingly the only sensible guy in the room, questions, “they wanna talk to ‘im, he’d only be one call away.” 

“you know why.” koko snaps, heavy weight of his glare moving from you to the male, “we can’t just-” 

ran’s phone rings from his pocket, effectively silencing koko mid sentence, and when he pulls it out, he waves it in front of koko with a sharp-toothed grin, “speak of the devil.” 

you open your mouth to ask, maybe even demand the phone from ran as he answers, but a sharp squeeze to your arm from koko leaves you quiet - a silent warning heard loud and clear. 

don’t say a word. 

ran’s eyes rake over your form as he answers, licking his lips like you could be his next meal, “yeah? he just got here. no, i would never! i’m offended you think i would,” whatever mikey’s saying has him grinning like a schoolgirl, gaze moving from you to koko, “if ya wanted to talk to him, why didn’t you call him. yeah, whatever, whatever, fine.” 

he offers the phone to koko, who grimaces at the device. 

“wants to talk to you.” ran elaborates, as if the implication wasn’t clear enough. 

koko snatches the phone from him with a glare, letting go of your arm to turn away from the two of you, “hello?” 

you can barely make out the sound of someone on the other line, lip pulled between your teeth when you see how koko’s face pinches in distaste for whatever mikey could be saying. 

“are you sure that’s a good idea. no, that's not what i'm saying at all - okay, fine. yeah, i’ll take ‘em there. sure. bye.” 

he hangs up with a scowl, tossing ran back his phone as he turns to reface you, “come on, we’re gonna go somewhere.” 

“to mikey?” you ask, hope leaking off your tongue. 

he doesn’t reply, opening the door and gesturing for you to exit the room when you don’t immediately begin moving. 

you offer a small wave goodbye to ran and rindou, despite the fact that there was no pleasure in meeting them in the first place, and you miss the glare koko sends them once you’re walking down the steps. koko leads you out of the club, guiding you by the upper arm through the sea of people until you’re stepping into the cool night air outside. 

though you’re no longer in the middle of the thrum of people, koko’s grasp on your arm doesn’t leave until he’s stopping in front of a sleek black car. a cadillac, maybe? mercedes? you’ve never been good with vehicles. 

he opens the door for you, though, and you have enough sense to mumble a small thanks as you climb in. 

when he enters through the driver’s door, he pauses for a minute, letting the silence wash over the two of you while gripping the steering wheel. 

“it really is stupid of you to come around here, ” he says finally, still looking straight ahead while you move to carefully pull your seatbelt on, “i shouldn’t even take you to him, you know. i should just take you home.” 

“you don’t have room to talk about stupid decisions,” you snap in time with the click of the buckle, “inupi and i have mourned the loss of people we care about who are still alive and well, that’s not fair.” 

you see the way his jaw clenches, knuckles turning white from how hard he holds the steering wheel. 

“we made sacrifices for you-” 

“i made sacrifices too,” you frown, thinking about the lost opportunities to raise your son, “and i just want five minutes of talking to mikey. is that too much to ask?” 

“you have other people to look out for instead, “ koko clicks his tongue, grip relenting as he looks over to you, “just remember that you asked for this.” 

the weight of his words settle heavy in the air as he puts the car in reverse and pulls out of the parking lot. 

the car ride is silent aside from the soft music that plays from the radio, turned to low volume. koko doesn’t move to break the silence, and you don’t have it in you to disrupt the tension that builds, anxiety creeping under your skin until it pops into goosebumps on the surface when he pulls in front of a large apartment building. 

“you’re gonna go to the top floor,” koko explains, not looking over at you, “he should already be there.” 

“should?” you parrot, nerves catching up with you. 

“if not already then soon.” he clicks the button to unlock the doors for you, and your breath stutters at the sound, fingers dancing around the door handle. 

“okay . . . thank you, koko. it’s . . . it is good to see you again. inupi would be happy to know you’re okay.” 

you don’t stay long enough to hear the way he inhales sharply, don’t see the way he tenses from the words. koko doesn’t wait for you to enter the building before he drives off, and you don’t look back as you push open the doors. 

the lobby is cold, you note dully, and it must be the reason your hairs stand on end when you find your way to the elevators. you wrap your arms around yourself after stepping inside of them, pressing the button to the top floor and willing your heart to not beat out of your chest. 

you realize just how much money mikey must have when the doors open to a penthouse - the entire floor being taken up as the apartment. you slowly step inside, sliding off your shoes by elevator and peek around inside the open area, spotting a living room, kitchen, and dining room all in the space. there’s a hall that cuts off towards the right of the room and you wonder if that’s where the bedroom(s?) and bathroom are. 

it feels wrong, almost, being here alone. though the room is definitely well furnished (the couch itself looks like it costs more than your broken down car), it feels . . . devoid of life. like maybe it’s only a place for rest - not a home. there’s no comfort of connection anywhere in the building, no vulnerability in personal property. you make your way further into the living room, eyeing the art hanging on the wall as if it could mean something to you. 

“i really thought he’d take you home.” you jump at the sound of a voice, whirling around to face whoever could be speaking. 

your mouth dries at the sight. 

mikey, but surely not your mikey, with his hair cropped short and paler than anything you remember, with bags under his eyes and frame thinner than what could be considered healthy, steps into view from the hall, hands in the pockets of his jeans. 

words die on your lips when he stops beside you, leaning back as if really taking in the painting you were eyeballing, head tilting, “heard you wanted to talk to me. must’ve been important if you went through all that trouble just to find me.” 

you don’t know what possesses you to take the first swing, to hit at his shoulder and his chest with tears welling in your eyes, but you do. 

and by some miracle, he lets you. it probably helps your hits are weak, with no intention to really harm - only needing an outlet for the emotions you’d been harboring for four fucking years. 

“why didn’t you call me,” you whisper when you’re finished with your barrage of hits, letting him guide you to the couch and sit you down on it, placing himself on the other end, “i-i wrote to you, i texted, i called, i looked for four years, mikey, and i got nothing in return. do you even know what for?” 

when you look at him, his gaze is set straight ahead to the wall across from the two of you, to the flatscreen tv that’s been off since you’d arrived - and who knows how long before that. 

“i’ve been busy.” he offers instead of answering, stare unwavering despite the way you frown and sigh out your disappointments. 

"too busy to respond? to even acknowledge my existence? what kind of fucking answer is that!?" you’re heated all over again by his lack of concession, at the way his eyes don’t leave the screen of the tv until you’re standing up from the couch with your arms out beside you, then tucking them into yourself and turning away from him, “koko was right, he should’ve just taken me home-” 

“why’d you come?” he asks instead, gaze finally moving from the tv to you. 

the question makes you pause, dig your nails into your arms as if that could somehow ground you. 

“i . . . we have a son.” you say finally, not turning to face him as the words leave your lips. 

you’re met with a beat of silence before he says, “i know.” 

i know. i know. i know, i know i know i know. 

he knew. 

he knew. 

“you know?” you repeat, turning to face him, suddenly quieter than before. 

“that you had a son,” he clarifies, face unreadable as he continues, “wasn’t sure if he was mine.” 

“how?” you press, legs buckling under your weight and leaving you to fall back down to the couch. 

“we . . . i’ve had koko do check-ins on everyone, every now and then,” he looks away at the admittance, “to make sure their lives are going well. did you know mitsuya’s a designer now? hakkai’s even modeled a few of his designs, and chifuyu and kazutora own a pet shop together, too” he’s deflecting, you can tell from the way he keeps his stare even and away from your own. 

“i do know,” you snap, “because they visit when they can. they want to see their nephew when they’re able to come by.” 

the way you bite your words out should sting, should hurt in a way he can’t place, but they don’t. he’s done this to himself, he knows, he’s just reaping what he’s sown. 

“why’d you leave?” you whisper out, “w-why’d you just disappear? why didn’t you respond to me? why did it take me getting hurt for you guys to make yourself known?”

he opens his mouth to reply, to say anything, but he doesn’t have an answer that will satisfy you. he knows that, and that is enough reason for him to keep his mouth shut. 

“have you seen him?” you’re still whispering, appalled he couldn’t assume your son was his - as if you didn’t pick the name shin for him. mikey shakes his head and it has you pulling out your phone with shaking hands, shoving it in his face until the lock screen photo of you, your son, and draken glare brightly back at him. 

his gaze moves from you to your phone, eyes scanning over the photo before they flit over to your face. 

“i didn’t know he was ours.” he defends, looking away, and you push the phone further into his face so he can’t escape it. 

“i’m telling you now that he is. “ you’re leaning into his space now, emphasize the need to look at the photo with another shake, and when he looks at you, really looks at you, his eyes trail from your own to your lips, to the bruises that marr your neck from the night prior. 

he tips your chin up to get a better look at them, setting you with a look when you offer some resistance, “did those guys do this to you?” you nod, “they won’t touch you again. no one will.” 

you frown at the implication, pushing his hand away with the hand not holding your phone, and he grabs that hand by the wrist when he spots the bruises decorating the skin there, taking it in with a still expression. 

“i can take care of you guys,” he settles, “make sure you never need or want anything. you won’t have to work at that shitty diner anymore. our kid would have anything he could ever desire.” 

his hand comes up to cup your cheek, wipes the stray tear that falls from your eyes, and against your better judgment, you lean into his touch. 

“i’m not asking that of you,” you explain, closing your eyes and willing any other tears that want to fall away, “you don’t even know his name.” you remind him, opening your eyes and standing when your phone starts to ring. you wipe at your face hastily, looking at the caller id, and only get a glance of the name ken before mikey’s pulling you down into his lap. 

you make a noise of disagreement, phone falling from your grasp to the couch beside the two of you from the sudden movement. 

“tell me his name.” he says, one hand still holding your wrist while the other keeps you in place by the hip. 

he practically demands it, eyes boring into your own as they search for the answer. 

“shin,” you reply after a moment, pulling your lip between your teeth, “i named him shin.” 

the hand at your hip grips it tighter, fingers digging into the flesh until it almost hurts. 

“after?” 

“shinichiro, yeah.” you don't know if it’s really necessary to clarify, but you don’t have a second to think about it when he suddenly surges forward, capturing your lips with his own. 

you falter for only a second before you’re returning the kiss with fervor, the hand not being held by mikey gripping the front of his shirt to pull him closer. 

“i will take care of you guys,” he promises when he pulls away from your lips to press his own to your chin, trailing down to your jaw and settling at the junction of your throat, peppering kisses at the free expanse of skin until it’s decorated pretty with hickies. 

his fingers dance under the hem of your dress, pulling you flush against him until your senses are full of nothing but, “can give ‘nother, you guys’ll have everything you could ever want.” he continues, the hand moving under your dress skimming across the tops of your thighs and pressing against your stomach. 

you whine, quiet and high in the back of your throat that leaves him grinding against you, hand moving from your stomach to your bare hip to guide you. he’s saying so many things, whispering so many assurances in your ear, and for a second, it’s too much. 

too overstimulating and happening too fast, but the way he holds you is so familiar, so comforting and warm and god you’ve missed him so fucking much. your phone buzzes to your right from the couch, and you pull away for a second to see it light up, see your brother’s contact pop up in that short amount of time before he’s forcing your attention back to him with a pinch to your hip, fingers pressing into your cheeks to turn your head back towards him. 

“eyes on me,” he demands, “keep your eyes on me.” 

#salmon rowe #mikey sano x reader #sano mikey x reader #mikey x reader #sano x reader #mikey sano #sano mikey #manjiro x reader #manjiro sano x reader #sano manjiro x reader #x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader

[frvnkcastles]

ENOUGH FOR ME ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: It’s Frank’s birthday and you just want him to know he’s important.

Warnings: Language, minor mention of injuries, mostly just fluff :)

Word count: 1.3k

Author’s note: Happy Frank Castle Day <33 Just a small break from all the trauma content to celebrate our best guy’s birthday with something fluffy and friends-to-lovers adjacent. Enjoy :)

”It’s your birthday?!” Your voice was nothing short of shocked as you looked up from Frank’s bloody abdomen where your haphazardly done stitches adorned his toned body, your eyes scanning his for any sign of humor, but he stared back at you completely serious and unwavering. He had just made an off-handed comment about turning forty-four, and the admission had shaken you to your core — you didn’t even have a card for him!

”Yeah”, Frank shrugged, ”it ain’t that big of a deal, sweetheart.”

You were positively astounded and, with all your might, entirely of another opinion. The man did so much for the city, for people like you — whether they appreciated or not — and the least he deserved was some appreciation in return. You tried your best to show him some without crossing any lines, as you were still just friends, after all. And surely, had you only known, you would have gotten something for his special day, or at least gotten ahead of him and wished him a happy birthday to make sure he knew he was remembered and thought of.

Instead, he had been fighting all night and gotten a nasty wound from a knife on his stomach, leaving him bleeding on your couch, like it was any other sucky night.

”You don’t like celebrating it?” you questioned, supposing that he had had plenty of traditions with his family, and that his celebrating of the occasion had died with them. You were pretty sure he knew that was a part of your question, at least the look he gave you was one of the obvious kind, but he still graced you with an answer.

”Nah. I don’t hate it, but I dunno”, he contemplated, ”just doesn’t feel that important. Curt comes over a beer usually and that’s about it.” You nodded while handing his shirt back over to him and starting to pack up the first-aid kit on your coffee table.

”So… would you mind if I did something small next year?” you asked sheepishly, the gift-giver and avid acts-of-service person inside you itching to come out. Somehow, Frank had become one of the most important people in your life, and to you, his birthday felt like an occasion to mark in some way, at least.

”You think you’re gonna be starin’ at my ugly mug for a whole ’nother year?” he grinned while pulling his shirt over his head. The self-deprecating joke got a disapproving look from you, and he simply chuckled. ”Sure. If you really want to. But you gotta tell me your birthday, too.”

So you did. And exactly a year later, on his forty-fifth birthday, you had lived up to your promise. You suspected he had forgotten all about it in the past 364 days, but at least it would make it an even sweeter surprise.

”Would love it if you came over tonight. No pressure, it’s not life-or-death. Just thought we could hang.” You sent your text message to him before you could overthink it too much. Should he not turn up, the worst case scenario was that you’d get to eat an entire cake by yourself — not a half-bad situation to find yourself in.

But, despite his tendency to only show up after getting himself in trouble, he ended up sending you a text message back.

”I’ll be there.”

As the hours ticked by, you realized you maybe should have agreed on a time. Nonetheless, you refused to let sleepiness take over, even when midnight dragged over and your jaw stretched with a yawn. You had spent the entire evening switching between your living room couch and the kitchen counter, impatient and nervous about how the night would unfold — a part of you hoped he would be surprised, but there was no telling if it would be a good surprise or not.

It was nearly 1 AM when there was a knock at your door, and you came to life at the sound. You rushed to answer the door, a sincere smile curling your lips high up when you found Frank waiting on the other side, a bottle of wine in his hands and a curious look in his eyes. Heat rushed into your cheeks as you realized the coyness in your message, and how he may have interpreted it, but you surely didn’t oppose whatever ideas he was coming over with.

”You okay? I know you said it ain’t anythin’ serious, but…”, he wondered while stepping across the threshold and shrugging off his jacket. You carried the wine bottle into the kitchen, and he followed you, only stopping when he saw all the food you had prepared. ”Shit. Guess it’s good I came prepared”, he added, and you chuckled nervously.

”I’m okay. I just wanted to do something for you”, you confessed, twisting your fingers as you watched him take it all in and process.

”You really didn’t have to, sweetheart”, he chuckled before licking his lips and tilting his head at you, ”what’s the occasion?”

You stared back at him, trying to discern whether or not he was messing around with you, but his eyes seemed honestly surprised and maybe even a hint confused. ”It’s—it’s your birthday, Frank”, you stammered, your internal alarm bells going off. Shitshitshit, it’s too much, you did way too much!

Frank covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh. ”Goddamn. It is, ain’t it? Shit. I haven’t been keepin’ track of the days at all lately”, he snorted, and at his amused reaction, you managed to relax a little. Maybe it wasn’t a lost cause yet.

”Yeah, so… I didn’t want to do anything too overwhelming. I just thought I could feed you for once and—and there’s cake for dessert”, you explained hesitantly, and if only you hadn’t avoided his gaze, you would have seen his eyes visibly soften, his lips twitching with a small smile.

”Hey, that’s really fuckin’ sweet of you. Wow. Dunno what I did to deserve this”, Frank exhaled, a little taken aback but letting his smile take over — a good sign in your books. Even more so was the way he stepped over to you and gently cradled your head so he could kiss your forehead, brief but sweet and definitely welcoming blush to your face.

”You didn’t have to do anything, Frank. But for the record, you do a whole lot. You keep this city safe. You keep me safe. You bring so much peace to more people than I can even imagine, and you don’t get any thanks for it. And beyond that… you’re a good friend. And a good person. And I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really appreciate and cherish you and I—I don’t know what I’d do without you anymore”, you rambled away, your heartrate picking up when he chose to stay right in front of you, his hand fallen to your neck as he stood only inches away.

Frank nodded slowly. ”No one’s told me anythin’ like that in a long time”, he admitted quietly, and for a second, you wondered if you had broken a boundary. ”Thank you, sweetheart. Can’t tell you what it means to me”, he continued, however, calming your nerves just enough to crack a smile at him.

”Well, we might have to reheat the food but it’s a good thing you brought this over”, you cleared your throat and gestured at the wine, and with a soft chuckle, Frank nodded.

”Hey”, he spoke once more, and instinctively, you looked up at him, despite the immense feeling of vulnerability that rendered you silent under his gaze. ”I’preciate you, too.”

With a shy smile, you placed a hand over his heart, and hoped to radiate all the warmth, gratitude and love you had for him.

”Happy birthday, Frank.”

#frank castle #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader

[yuri-is-online]

This might just me being tired and dumb, but I kind of get how Ace having a more supportive family would lead to isolation? Like. People who have no family to rely on form their own, and that kind of bond can be beat by very little else. There's not only possibly shared trauma, but there's probably also a shared understanding that "we all we got". It gives a weird sense of hope to see someone else in your situation, someone who relates to you even a little bit, and you want more anything in the world for them to make it out and thrive, and you can trust that they want the same for you.

So with Ace, who's trauma (that we know about) mainly comes from association and the iverblot fights, it's a bit harder to make that bond. He (assumably) got all the love and support that he was supposed to get from his family. And yeah! Sure! He can still seek it out elsewhere! But it's a thing he already has, he already has somewhere to go at the end if the day for comfort.

This is actually a theme that I'm gonna play with in my 80s fic, Deuce is lower middle class, while Yuu is just a slightly glorified version if homeless. Ace is squarely middle class, if not upper middle, he never has to really want for anything. Not like Deuce and certainly not like Yuu.

Learning how to pinch for pennies and find deals are things that makes Aces life more convenient, but it's something that Deuce and Yuu need. And that's where the divide is.

He wants to take care of his friends (he's still in denial) more than anything, but he also feels like there's this weird line he can't cross, with him on one side and Yuu and Deuce on the other. It honestly doesn't help that Yuu has a separate, small friend group outside of him and Deuce that are all in the same "Shit is completely fucked right now but by God are we gonna make it out" boat. A boat that Ace will probably never be in. Ace loves his family and is grateful, and knows exactly how much he lucked out. But he still wants to have that bond. That "the world feels like it's ending but atleast we'll be going down together" type of bond. Comforting Yuu while they cry about not having heating in the winter will never be the same as having to suffer alongside them and know they were in this together. Trying to find the cheapest possible version of a food products with Deuce and discovering knock off brands that Ace would never imagine existing (who the hell made knock off cheerios?) Will never be the same as actually having to rely on those knock off and part time sales, and feeling a sense pride that they were able to save enough money this month that they could actually buy something nice. Ace probably won't ever be on that side of the invisible line.

He'll bring them to his side though. Ace wants to take care of them more than anything. He wants them in his life more than anything. And he'll have them. No matter what he has to do to make that happen.

Sorry if I missread your post and just dropped a huge angst bomb in your inbox! I just have thoughts and there are a lot of AceYuu and ADeuce moments in chapter three and one or two of them digs into this a little.

You didn't misread my post at all I swear we are sharing custody of a braincell because this is just *chef's kiss* exactly what I was thinking.

Having that solid middle class stability and parent's who genuinely love you and each other is nothing to be ashamed of, not that I think Ace has enough humility for that, but it does mean that he has a gap in his understanding for Deuce and especially Yuu's situation. I keep thinking about how he ended up eating those tarts because he skipped a meal over worrying about Yuu and their circumstances, he cares. He is crass and rude with it but he cares! I love how you say he'll bring them to his side of the line, that's exactly how I see him thinking about it.

Ace's isolation (in my view) seems to come from how much more he values his friendship with Yuu and Deuce over literally anyone else in the school. He'd benefit from talking to Jack and Epel more, they also have solid home lives and Jack at least I think has financially stable parents, but those guys aren't his people. For better or worse, for sickness or health, Yuu and Deuce are who he is sticking it out with. He'll never say it in game, but he really does love you both, in what way is of course up to the interpretation of the player.

but you know which one we both prefer frfr

#<3 asks #talking w a friend #twisted wonderland #ace trappola #ace is such a HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i have so many thoughts #like he seems to really admire both his basketball club seniors (floyd and jamil) #but not trey #he prefers to look up to riddle #but also could you imagine ace trying to have a heart to heart about his feelings with floyd #i feel like it would be a disaster #but i also feel like floyd 100% knows about ace's feelings for deuce and yuu and thinks he has good advice for him #(he doesn't)

[somber-sapphic]

35, 🥀, 🌷 with Maya x carina x reader where reader is really sick out of nowhere?? I’m so addicted to your fics atm haha

Better Tomorrow

My first Station 19 story!!

{may include unintentional spoilers}

Okay, wow, I got a little carried away. I had so much fun writing this but I figured that I could only fit so much into one post. I have more, I actually have probably two more parts of similar length, but I won't post it unless you guys want. - You loved your girlfriends and you loved your job. Unfortunately as a nurse, you were also on the front line during flu season. Lucky that you're dating a doctor and a firefighter. (marina x reader)

Word Count: 3810

-----

Perhaps being an ER Nurse wasn’t everyone's cup of tea, but you absolutely loved it. One of the best parts of your amazing job was that you got to work at Grey Sloan Memorial alongside some of the best doctors in the country and your beautiful girlfriend Carina Deluca. 

And then there was Maya. Sweet, beautiful, uptight Maya. You loved the stubborn firefighter with everything you had and both you and Carina showered her with affection at every chance you got. The poor woman had so much unprocessed trauma, all the two of you wanted was to make her feel important, like someone cared. 

Even still, there were days where it wasn’t great. She’d lash out, forget to eat and spend the whole day working out. The three of you had had a rough week. Maya was angry about station politics, Carina had lost a mother and you were on the receiving end of just about every flu case that came into the hospital. On top of dealing with all of the sick people, you also had to meditate at home.

Some people had shown up with minor colds, demanding treatment that they didn’t need. You’d seen several parents ordering you to give their children antibiotics, refusing to listen to you when you explained the difference between bacteria and viruses and why antibiotics won't cure their children's illness. 

Now, it was Sunday and you were almost done with your 48 hour shift. You were supposed to have tomorrow off, but with everyone falling victim to this monster of a flu there was a good chance that you would be working for at least another twelve hours. 

You were exhausted beyond belief and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the growing pressure in your sinuses and the dull ache in your bones. You were probably getting sick, well no, you were definitely getting sick, it was just a matter of how long you could keep it from affecting your work. 

You sighed and took two Tylenol, swallowing them dry. A rumbling cough forced its way through your lips and you glanced at yourself in the mirror, studying your pale complexion. To be fair, you didn’t look great. What with the bags under your eyes and the slight reddish tinge on your cheeks and around your nostrils. 

You grabbed a mask and slipped it on, just to be safe. You figured that you could probably get away with working for at least two more hours before someone noticed that you were too sick or you became a legitimate risk to the patients. Plus, since you were one of the few nurses left who could even hold a pen there was a good chance that as long as you sanitized and wore a mask that you would be allowed to work until you dropped.

When you reentered the ED you found a line of people, all waiting with impatient expressions. You sighed internally and forced a smile, pulling on a pair of gloves as you walked to the first bed. A woman sat there with her arms crossed over her chest, showing absolutely no signs of illness. 

“Hello Ms. Hanford, what brings you in?” You rasped, clearing your throat quietly in a vain attempt to bring back your voice. She sneered at you and huffed quietly, rolling her eyes. 

“I need a pregnancy test.” She demanded, giving you a thorough glare. You paused for a second, wondering if your seemingly cotton stuffed ears had heard her correctly. She came to the ER. For a pregnancy test. A pregnancy test that she could’ve purchased for less than ten dollars at any drugstore. 

“Ms, we’re in the midst of a very severe flu season, it may be safer for you to purchase one from the grocery store.” You said tiredly, fully prepared to get snapped at. She had come for a pregnancy test and there was no way that she was leaving without one. 

“I. Want. A. Test. Now. Don’t make me get your supervisor.” Ms. Hanford threatened, searching for someone who may be your superior. The nurse, Kayla, who had been running the ER had been sent home earlier, leaving one attending or another to check in on you every so often. 

“Okay.” You sighed, too tired to put up much of a fight. You went and grabbed a urine sample cup and walked back to her bedside, smiling so wide that you were sure that it would be seen in your eyes. 

“If you would just take this over to the bathroom and provide me with a urine sample we can get that pregnancy test done.” Ms. Hanford scoffed loudly and shook her head, checking her watch as if to make you upset. You were already upset, but it wasn’t something that you could show. It was your job to be stoic and professional. 

“Are you serious? I could have gotten that kind of test at the store and I wouldn't be in here among all of you sick people! No see, I want a blood test.” She was repeating your words from earlier, turning them on you to make you feel less than. You took a careful breath which spurred a fit of coughing. You whirled away from the woman and muffled coughs into your shoulder, your chest aching with each wheezing breath. 

When you turned back, your eyes watery and nose running freely in your mask, the woman was wearing an absolutely disgusted expression. 

“Get me someone different. I need a different nurse. Get out, get someone new.” She ordered, pointing towards the nurses station. The empty nurses station. Because everyone was busy. Because everyone was dealing with someone sick. Or hurt. Or otherwise miserable.

“Ms., I can't. If there were anyone else I would, but right now we’re very short staffed. Would you like the test or not?” You asked shortly. It was your job to be professional, not to be kind. Technically you didn’t even have to be polite, you just had to treat her. 

“Get a doctor then! Look, there’s one! Dr! Dr., you need to take over here, this nurse is absolutely incompetent.” You looked over to see Amelia walking towards the two of you, a concerned expression on her face. 

“What seems to be the issue over here?” She asked, giving the woman a little nod. You knew that as long as Ms. Hanford was polite to Amelia that she would get what she wanted. Being rude to you was however a pretty big mistake. The female neurosurgeon happened to really like you and often treated you like a sister. 

“This nurse,” She spat, using the most demeaning tone as she shot daggers at you, “came into work sick and thinks that she is going to take my blood! Would you please take my blood?” Her voice changed from hate to sweet and sugary, with an over exaggerated smile.

“Ah, so rather than going to purchase a test at, I don’t know, the Walgreens right down the street maybe, you decided to come into a hospital, which sometimes has sick people, and yell at one of my nurses?” Ameila returned the smile, her eyes filled with pointed anger. You ducked your head into your shoulder and sneezed quietly, only serving to make your mask even messier. 

The brunette turned back and gave you a sad smile, gesturing you over to a bed. 

“Go sit. Ms. Hanford is going to wait until someone else is ready.” She ordered, squeezing your shoulder gently. Ms. Hanford was trying to yell at Amelia, but she wasnt hearing any of it. She was literally just ignoring the angry woman. 

“I’ve got some paperwork to wrap up before my shift is over.” You mumbled, turning to shuffle away. 

“I’ll call Carina!” She threatened after you, earning a little shrug in return. Your girlfriend was busy, she was always busy with one birth or another. People just kept having babies. You slunk into an office and plopped yourself down into a chair, pulling out a patient file. 

After about five minutes the words on the page began to blur together, the sentences becoming totally unrecognizable. As you continued to struggle through the file your writing got more and more sloppy and your eyelids began to slip closed. Your head started to fall and you finally put it down, resigning yourself to sleep. 

==

“Y/n. Wake up bubba.” A voice spoke, pulling you out of your fever dazed sleep. Someone, the owner of the voice, shook your shoulder and you forced your eyes open so that you could glare up at Amelia, who had woken you up. You opened her mouth to complain and sneezed wetly, only then realizing that you had neglected to take your mask off before falling asleep. 

Shepard winced and wrinkled her nose at the sound, pulling away from you. You coughed freely, figuring that since it was still on, it didn’t really matter. The neurosurgeon gave you a sympathetic smile and grabbed some hand sanitizer. 

“Come on germ bag, sit up. I’m going to give you a quick exam before Carina finishes with the mom upstairs.” You lifted your head, forcing yourself up into a sitting position. That much movement made your head swim and you found yourself falling too far to the side. Amelia grabbed your shoulders and steadied you, her lips turning into a little frown. 

“Take your mask off.” She instructed, motioning to her face with blue latex gloved hands. You shook your head, embarrassment flooding through you. There was no way that you were taking it off, you knew that it would be gross and she didn't need to see that. The brunette dropped her shoulders and sighed, giving you a look. 

“Either you take it off, or I will. I promise you, I’ve seen worse.” Now it was deciding whether or not it was more embarrassing for her to take it off for you or for you to do it yourself. 

“I don’t need you to do this. It’s allergies.” She snorted and broke into a laugh, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“Wow, that was bad even for you. Take it off.” You slumped, but refused to take the mask off. It was both keeping her from getting sick and keeping you hidden. It was almost like you could pretend to be fine as long as it was there. 

Amelia rolled her eyes and leaned forward, very gently unhooking the mask from your ears. She pulled it away and made a soft sound of concern, shaking her head slightly. She grabbed a tissue and handed it to you, allowing you to clean yourself up before she continued. 

“You okay?” She asked, noticing the tears glittering in your eyes. You nodded silently and opened your mouth, allowing her to shine a light down your throat. “Ouch.” The brunette murmured, removing her stethoscope so that she could check your lungs. 

You did your best to take the deep breaths that she requested but every one led to a coughing fit that left you gasping and wheezing. It was just your luck that Carina burst into the office while you were in the midst of a particularly harsh fit, bent over with Amelia rubbing your back. 

“Cara,” She whispered sadly, coming to kneel in front of the chair. She rubbed your knuckles as you fought to catch your breath, offering much needed comfort. You finally got a deep breath and the spots cleared from your eyes, leaving you dizzy and utterly exhausted. 

“I want to give her a nebulizer treatment before you take her home, her lungs sound like crap.” Amelia explained, directing her words toward your worried girlfriend. She nodded, squeezing your hand as a sign of affection.

“I don’t want it.” You muttered, trying your best to keep the waver out of your voice. You really didn’t want the treatment, you didn't want any medicine. Cough syrup might be nice, but the nebulizer was famous for making people jittery and all you wanted to do was sleep. 

“You don’t get a say. If you had told Maya or I that you were sick maybe we could have avoided this.” Carina hissed, giving you a deadly glare. You knew that she loved you but she was also angry with your lack of self preservation. 

“Please.” You sniffled, sounding admittedly pathetic. Her expression softened and she leaned over to kiss your forehead, resting her lips there a moment longer than necessary. 

“How high is her fever?” The Italian woman asked, making a worried noise when you dropped your head down onto her shoulder. If you were going to give into being sick you would be given attention. You really just wanted to be held. 

“103.5, I’ll throw an IV in with fluids and we’ll see what we can do to get it down.” Carina nodded your approval but you whined quietly, slightly afraid of the idea of getting an IV. You had absolutely no problems administering them, you were actually amazing at giving them but you didn’t love needles. 

“Alright. Come on bella, I’ll call Maya okay?” You shook your head as Amelia helped you stand, leaning heavily on her for support. 

“No Maya, she’s working.” You mumbled, stumbling forward as you tried to take a step. Your body completely gave out and you crumpled into Carina’s arms, your head bouncing off of her chest as she caught you. Both women cursed, Amelia slightly louder than your girlfriend. 

“Amelia, get a wheelchair. Y/n, can you hear me?” Her words were filled with desperation and anxiety as she helped you back into the chair, cupping your cheeks in her incredibly soft, sturdy hands. 

“Mhm.” You weren’t unconscious, just weak and wondering how you had gone downhill so quickly. At least she was there, she was warm and made you feel fuzzy inside. You loved her so much. She carded her fingers through your hair and smiled warmly, her eyes full of remorse. 

You ducked away and coughed hard into your lap, finally managing to get some of the crap out of your lungs. Unfortunately it was now in your mouth which felt absolutely disgusting. Carina pressed a tissue against your lips and allowed you to spit it out, caressing your arm as you placed your head back on her shoulder. 

“Alright kid, hop in, you’ve got a ride.” Amelia announced, using that stupid nickname. You weren’t even sure why she called you that, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but since she discovered that you didn’t like it it had become one of her favorite things to call you. 

“Ready?” Carina asked softly, raising an eyebrow at you. You didn't answer, just shrugged and allowed her to help you into the chair. You leaned back as the neurosurgeon wheeled you out of the office and over to an open bed which you crawled into gratefully. It felt nice to lay down even if it was in an uncomfortable hospital bed with only a curtain separating you from other patients. 

“Okay Y/n, let's get you set up.” Amelia said, lifting up an oxygen mask that you knew would soon pump medicated air. Carian took it away from her and slid it over your face, carefully adjusting the strap behind your head. She didn't want anyone else to treat you, her protective urge flaring up. 

The other doctor didn't protest, knowing that she was probably frightened for you. The last time Meredith had gotten sick she had gone definitely overboard. She stuffed her sister with every medicine that she could think of and had quite literally forbade the woman from getting out of bed. Doctors would go to unnecessary extremes when it came to taking care of the people they loved. 

“Quick poke.” Before you could protest Amelia had slipped an IV into your hand. You glared at her and scooched closer to Carina, wishing that the mask wasn’t in the way. She wrapped an arm around your waist and hugged you to her chest, speaking to you in quiet Italian. You couldn’t understand the words but it didn’t matter. Her voice was soothing and the medications being pumped into your body were making you feel a little bit better. 

“Y/n!” You jolted out of your comfortable daze and looked up to see Maya walking over, her hair frizzy and piercing eyes full of worry. Carina shushed her as she rushed over, immediately grabbing your face so she could touch your forehead and the back of your neck. 

When she pulled away she was wearing the same look of disappointment that your other girlfriend had earlier, her eyebrows knit together and lips turned into a frown. 

“Damnit, every time. Do you need to do this every time?” As much as you hated to admit it, the blonde had a point. You tended to do this, work yourself to the brink of exhaustion and then require some sort of intervention whether it be from them or the obvious current situation. 

Tears filled your eyes and you looked away, not wanting her to see how guilty you felt. You had pulled both of your girlfriends away from work saving lives to sit by your side as you dealt with a stupid virus. 

Maya let out a slow breath as she realized how her words had come out and nudged your arm, pushing you just enough that she could sit on the bed. 

“Let's get this off.” She said softly, easing the mask off of your face. The round of aerosolized steroids was done and your chest didn’t hurt quite as much. The blonde glanced over at Carina, a puzzled expression on her face. 

“How bad is she?” Maya asked, clearly not trusting your judgment on the situation. The doctor shrugged, moving her hand in a so-so way. 

“She is bad. Hopefully the nebulizer will take care of her lungs for a while but it may not last. I will write her a prescription for an albuterol inhaler. Once the IV bag finishes we can bring her home.” Carina explained, seeming to know more about your medical information than you did. At least they weren’t taking any blood. 

“So about a half hour?” Maya looked down at her Apple watch, stroking your hair absently with one hand. 

“Si.” You looked back over at Carina who smiled and kissed your hairline. Tears filled your eyes and you sniffled pathetically, not really wanting to talk. Your throat hurt badly, so much that every breath grated against the raw flesh. 

“Scoot over for me.” Maya instructed, nudging you with her elbow. You didn't exactly understand what was happening or why she wanted you to move. All you wanted was to cry. The medicine had made it easier to breathe but your entire body still ached. 

“Oh Y/n, come here.” She lay down in the bed beside you, fitting herself nicely on the cot beside you. You tucked your head under her chin, trembling as you tried not to sob. It was humiliating, you were a nurse who was crying because of the flu. Carina tried to lay on your other side, but there wasn’t much room left. 

You whimpered into Maya’s shirt, shaking hard as the tears finally began to spill down your cheeks. The blonde carded her fingers through your hair, shushing you as you cried. Carina went back to speaking to you in Italian, both exchanging glances over your weak frame. 

You weren't sure how long it was when you felt the tell tale prickle reappearing in your sinuses. You tried to pull back from Maya, not wanting to sneeze on her, but the woman reacted a moment too late. Maybe she had thought that you were just shifting or she was just tired from what was probably a long shift and she was laying with you. 

You attempted to curl up as best as you could, intending to stifle the sneeze against your own chest, hoping that it wouldn’t be very wet. You sneezed quietly, but another, much louder one followed, sounding worse than the first one. Both of you froze for a second and Carina cooed softly, not seeming to entirely realize your distress. 

You pulled back and pressed your hands over your nose, sitting up quickly, fully expecting her to berate you for sneezing on her. She didn’t even glance at the wet spot on her shirt, just grabbed a tissue and tried to hand it to you. 

“I’m sorry!” You gasped, your words blurred by congestion. You sniffled hard, trying to fix the issue without accepting her help. 

“Oh baby, no, don’t apologize. You’re sick, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this sick. You get a pass.” Carina nodded her agreement and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Blow your nose bella, no more sniffling. Your IV is finished, once you blow your nose I will text Ameila and then we can go home. Does that not sound good?” The brunette coaxed, her voice full of love. You had made up your mind to take the tissue when you sneezed again, into your hands, and then sneezed twice more. Ugh. Damnit.

Maya wrinkled her nose in an apologetic manner, the lines on her forehead becoming more prominent. Carina rubbed your back and kissed your shoulder, both of them offering incredible loving sympathy. 

You took the fucking tissue from the blondes clutches and quickly lifted it to your face, blowing your nose quietly as you did. She handed you another one to clean your hands and then Carina gave you some hand sanitizer. 

“I wanna go home.” You rasped, finally speaking again. Both women smiled and each gave you a kiss on your head. Maya got up and held one of your hands, reaching for the other as you swung your legs over the bed and let your feet touch the floor. 

Carina grabbed your waist as you stood, holding you there until you were sure that you would pass out. Sure you were dizzy, but with some help you were sure that you could get out to the car. 

“All set?” Maya asked, shifting so that she had taken your Italian girlfriend's place with her arm around your waist, supporting you from the side. You nodded while Carina grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulder before draping your coat over your shoulders. 

“Come along Y/n/n. Let's get you into bed.” The brunette said softly, walking slightly in front of you. She had your bag too and you couldn’t help but wonder when she’d grabbed it. 

With the help of your girlfriends you shuffled out to the car, hoping that you would feel better tomorrow. Afterall, you were one of the last nurses standing. 

#station 19 #fever #sickfic #fanfiction #sick fanfiction #sick reader #greys anatomy #carina deluca #maya bishop #marina #maya x carina #maya x carina x reader #marina x reader #sick fanfic #sick you #sick y/n #hospital stuff #minor whump #fever whump #station 19 sick fanfiction #amelia shepard #amelia shepherd #hurt/angst #hurt/comfort #fluff and angst #fluff

[theywhowriteandknowthings]

Murder Daddy Kinktober 2023 Masterlist.

A full accounting of my work this Kinktober! I think I wrote over 50k! Wow! Please share and let me know what you thought of Kinktober this year! More parts below the cut! Warnings in RED, Please heed them. Pairings in PURPLE.

Day 1 - Trying something new – You’re a desperate Pharma Rep looking for an easy win. Doctor Joel Miller is anything but. [Doctor!Joel Miller x Pharma Rep!Reader. Fingering, degradation, power play, public sex/voyeurism]

Day 2 - Degradation – Fancisco Morales and Santiago Garcia have you right where they want you. [Frankie x You x Santi. Set in the Shore Leave Universe, MMF threesome, DP, degradation(obv), established relationship, PiV sex, no barrier protection(but reader is on undisclosed BC).]

Day 3 - “Daddy please?” – Your stepdad Dave York catches you in the act of making money through online sex work. The fic that inspired “The Princess and The Duke”. [Stepdad!Dave York x Reader. Cam work, sex work, blowjob, exhibitionism, sex on camera, taboo, stepcest, PiV sex, no barrier protection(but reader is on undisclosed BC).]

Day 4 - Outdoor sex/risk of being caught – You and Dave have been fooling around for some time now, and you try and push his buttons at a 4th of July party. “The Princess and The Duke” Universe. [Stepdad!Dave York x Reader. Angst, fluff, smut, risk of getting caught, PiV sex, no barrier protection(but reader is on undisclosed BC) heavy references to PTSD/Trauma.]

Day 5 - “Who does this belong to?” Javi crosses a line in your relationship and you make him pay for it. [Javier Peña x Reader. Bondage, orgasm denial, male masturbation, Javi is a brat, fluff and angst. [Bonus from @lucyeyelesbarrow]

Day 6 - Taboo – You get caught watching your stepdad going for a swim, and it gets you way too hot and bothered. Set in “The Princess and The Duke” Universe. [Stepdad!Dave York x Reader. Female masturbation, spying on Dave, almost getting caught.]

Day 7 - What happens in “x” stays in “x” (add your own

context) You get way too drunk in an unfriendly town, but Silva wants to look after you. Set in the “Walk Away” Universe (Sort of a prologue). [Silva x TransMasc!Reader, heavy angst, body dysmorphia, self-hatred, drinking, Silva being way too sweet, pigs?]

Day 8 - Bondage – Joel loves having you tied up and at his mercy. [No Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader, Overstimulation, Bondage, mild sub/dom dynamics, ass play, anal sex, double penetration (fingers and dick), unproteted PiV (established relationship BS used), degradation/use of slut/whore)]

Day 9 - Ass play [I cheated and re-used a fic!] You move into a dilapidated mansion after inheriting it from a family member. Joel and Tommy offer to fix it up for you. [Vampire!Joel x You x Vampire!Tommy. DDNI, Dead Dove Do not Eat, This is a dark fic, it’s twisted af, Joel and Tommy are vampires, that murder people, reader is their next victim, threat of death to reader, Joel is mean and fucking nasty in this, so is Tommy, drug use, dubcon(reader is drugged/high on pheremones), coercion, mouth fucking, unprotected PiV, Creampie, anal sex, rimming, throat fucking, ass play, double penetration, reader begs for her life, mind-fuck, mind-break, seriously dubcon/bordering on non-con, degredation, blood play, vampire biting, swallowing dacryphilia, let me know if I missed anything! Enjoy you beautiful THOTs.]

Day 10 - Toys Javi gets you back for the events of “Who does this belong to?” – [Javier Peña x Reader. Overstimulation, wand vibrator, unprotected PiV(Do Better), Papi Kink, Dom!Javi, Sub!reader, spanking, choking(mild), degradation (lots of it, Javi has a filthy mouth), come play(sort of??), bratty reader. Mentions of Infidelity and male masturbation]

Day 11 - Boss/employee (dubcon??) You dress up specially for Max at the office Halloween party. [Max Phillips x Reader. Failed SA on Reader, followed by a swift kick to the balls, Vampires, blood drinking, vampire bites, unprotected PiV(Please wrap it up), slight dubcon(reader isn't drunk but has been drinking), mild threat to reader (vampire sex yo.), blood loss, Max is a softdom,]

Day 12 - CNC (roleplay) You get caught out by a Raider, Joel Miller, in an old grocery store. He takes what he wants, as always. [Raider!Joel Miller x Reader. DDDNI, This is pretty Dark, Roleplay, It's all consensual but it is CNC(Consensual Non-Consent), Vaginal Fingering, gun play, knife play, struggle, threat of r*pe, threat around anal, Joel Miller's fucking mouth, degradation, slut shaming.]

Day 13 - Facial Set in the “Rendezvous in Reno” universe. Dieter gets to try something he’s been dying to do for months, fuck your tits. [Dieter Brave x Erotica Writer!Reader. Face-sitting, face-riding, tit-job/tit-wank/tit-fucking, established relationships, Dieter being a menace, Dieter is a tit man, fluff and plot, fluff and feelings, Dieter is technically a murder daddy because he murders that pussy.]

Day 14 - Phone sex – Set in “The Princess and The Duke” Universe. [Dave York x Reader. Phone sex/dirty talk, Daddy kink, angst, catching feelings, really fucking angsty]

Day 15 - Cousin’s husband’s maid’s brother (wildcard prompt

so have fun/go wild with weird ideas) – The neighbour’s gardener is a no-show, but his brother turns up instead. [No Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader. Degradation, rough blowjob, no real prep for reader, Joel's mouth, panty sniffing, dirty talk.]

Day 16 - Aphrodisiac/sex pollen You and your least-favourite, but hot as fuck, patrol partner get stuck in an old FEDRA testing site, but you’re not alone. [Jackson!Joel x Reader Dead Dove Do Not Eat/DDDNI, noncon/heavy dubcon, body horror, tentacles, mouth r*pe, double/triple penetration, bondage, non-consensual bondage,  choking, deep throating, pheromones, sex pollen, tentacles, mind fuck/mind break, brainwashing, guilt, trauma, trauma bonding.] 

Day 17 - “Why do you run, only to let me catch you?” You’ve been on the run from Din Djarin for years but just over a year ago he stopped chasing you… Until tonight. [Din Djarin x Fugitive!Reader. PiV sex, unprotected sex, mutual pining, grogu being a sessy bitch, blood, addiction mentions, addiction, oral F&M recieving, Whiny Din Supremacy.]

Day 18 - Knife Play [ @Clawdeewritesfanfic Subbed in to save the day!]

Day 19 - “So much cum, fuck!” [@Clawdeewritesfanfic Subbed in to save the day! (Again!)]

Day 20 - Breeding kink – Dave York has a breeding kink. [Duke!Dave York x Princess!Reader Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, creampie, sub/dom dynamics, Dirty Talk, PiV sex (no barrier protection), Carol is mentioned but relationship is amiable.]

Day 21 - Shuffle for a Kesha/Dua Lipa/Charlotte Cardin song

& use the title as inspo – Dave and you finally get round to fucking. (Technically a remix of Daddy Please, but set in “The Princess and The Duke” Universe. [Duke!Dave York x Princess!Reader - Daddy Kink, Sex Work, Cam work, Infidelity, Step-Cest, Dave York(he always needs his own warning), Possessive!Dave, Men being sexist dicks on the internet, choking, degradation, rough sex, rough oral sex, exhibitionism.]

Day 22 - Thigh riding You and Javi have some fun with those deliciously thick thighs of his. [Javier Peña x Reader. Nipple play, spanking, sub/dom dynamics, thigh riding, reader is a brat, degradation.]

Day 23 - Drunk sex Set after “Hurt so Good” Frankie helps you out of your shoes when you’re struggling after a night our drinking. [Vampire!Frankie x Reader. Drunk Reader (dubcon but established relationship), Twilight references (to piss off Frankie) Vampire sex, Vampire bites, Unprotected PiV (sort of), vampire vibes, oral F receiving, biting, vampire bites.]

Day 24 - Safeword – A collection of the various Safewords our PPCU boys use.

Day 25 - Pegging – Joel agrees to let you peg him, because it’s something you want. It doesn’t go quite to plan. [No Outbreak!Joel Miller x Reader. Pegging, anal fingering, handjobs, implied female oral, Joel Miller’s ego, Joel Miller’s Lack of communication skills, hurt/comfort, angst (happy ending heheh), insecurities around masculinity (implied), self-hatred/shame, sub!Joel, dom!reader, strap-on use, butt plug use, lots of lube, SO MUCH CUM! ]

Day 26 - Somnophilia – Javi wakes up to you humping your pillow in your sleep, it awakens something dark inside him. [Javi G x Reader. Warnings: Somnophilia, sleep sex, consensual somnophilia, Javi having dark thoughts, cnc, consensual non-consent (if you squint), Javi being a bad boy, dry humping/pillow humping, wet dreams, unprotected PiV (wrap it up folks)].

Day 27 - Costumes – Fluffy drabbles for our PPCU boys in costume.

Day 28 - “You trying to get me fired?” – You finally get Miguel to give in and just fuck you already. [Office/Lawyer AU!Miguel x Reader. Warnings: Office AU/Lawyer AU, Office romance/sex, co-workers, sexual tension, voyeurism, fingering, dirty talk, the whole office definitely heard, unprotected PiV (wrap it up folks).]

Day 29 - Picture perfect – Part 2/3 of “Creep”. You get sick and tired of waiting for your creepy neighbour to make an appearance, so you take matters into your own hands. [Creepy Neighbour!Joel Miller x Twisted!Reader. This is a dark fic, it’s twisted af, Joel is a creep, Joel is mean and fucking nasty in this, dubcon(Reader touching Joel in his sleep), coercion, degredation(lots of Joel calling Reader a slut/whore etc.), (heavy)stalker vibes.]

Day 30 - Pumpkin Spice [Combining with the below fic for release sometime this week]. Day 31 - Freaky Love (fluff with a monster I know I’m sappy - Combined fluffy smut with Max.

And nce again - big shout out to @pr0ximamidnight @beskarandblasters @wannab-urs @patti7dc @beefrobeefcal @pastelnap @reaperofmen @jksprincess10 @clawdee @covetyou @strang3lov3 @lucyeyelesbarrow @gasolinerainbowpuddles @king-simp and the rest of my wonderful moots (sorry if I missed y’all my brain is soup) for being top tier in supporting me in this crazy as fuck endeavour.

Join my taglist here

@ktheunready @harriedandharassed @survivingandenduring @neverwheremoonchild @noisynightmarepoetry @casa-boiardi @xoxabs88xox @guelyury @its-nebuleuse @deadly-femme-bimbo @christinamadsen @mirandablue1 @clawdee @youandmeand5bucks-blog @hiddenbabynyc @stevie75 @star017 @vabeachazn @darkheartgatita @anoverwhelmingdin @pedroshotwifey @bitchwitch1981 @dameron-grant-spector @livingdeadmaria @cantbenameds-blog @nashja @robertpattinsoninthetracksuit

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #fanfic #joel miller #the mandalorian #murder daddy #murder daddy kintober 2023 #murder daddy kinktober #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters #frankie morales #santiago pope garcia #santi garcia x reader #reader insert #x reader #joel x reader #character x reader #writing prompts #writer #writing #mdk2023 #smut #javi g #din djarin #atsv miguel #javier peña #javier pena fanfiction #dave york #dave york x female reader #dave york pit

[septicwriters]

What I think your favorite ego says about you!

Dark: You are one of two things: you are cool, calm, and collective or, batshit wild. Regardless of which, when you snap, YOU SNAP. Whoever pissed you off better pray to the old gods because the new one ain't picking up his phone. You either seem like you have your shit together, or you really do. There is no in-between.

Anti: Relax? Who is she? Who are eccentric from the start. You are quiet at first, making people think you are shy and just have to warm up to them, when in reality, you are biding your time. Watching your surroundings to see how everyone ticks, and then you strike. Violence is not always your attack, you can also deal out verbal attacks as well. Your RBF is on point.

Wilford: You are that person who is cheerful to hide your trauma. Sorry, but we can still see it. You can't hide a body behind a glass wall. You will smile and give homemade treats and remember everyone's birthday, but everyone once in a while, you will say something to cause everyone's concern to go to an 11. High ADHD levels.

Jackie: You are that one person that is motivated beyond belief. You will wear yourself out with over positivity and helping others and then break down in a public restroom. Crying from stress is a call for attention, even in an empty room (false, cry if you need too) can't drink coffee because it sends your hyperness through the roof and gives you a headache.

Damien: You are the mom friend of the group, you either have snack pouches and juice, or a way to reprimand your friends. You are shy around confrontation, but always quick to come up with a solution to a problem. You wouldn't share homework answered, but would help with the homework. You are the designated driver.

Chase: things you cry at: cat videos, cute kid videos, slice of life anime, cute finales of comedies. You have some sort of an addiction. Coffee, alcohol, cleanliness, art, your hobby, collecting hobbies. Something to keep your hand busy is always needed, helps tame the voices. Your therapist friend begs you to go to therapy, but who can afford it? Definitely not you, and besides, you aren't even that serious. Thinking about death is normal, right? Right?!

Celine: you are the wine aunt. Weather that is literal or towards your friends, that is your title and you where it with pride. Might be some sort of witch. You can become serious quickly, you go from go lucky to problem solver 1-100 real fast. You are always available, even if you're not happy about it. You listen to problems and come up with half good answers. Sorry to say, but arson is not always the answer.

Schneep: you are the therapist friend, and you need a therapist. Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Must have perfect grades, perfect attendance, perfect ingernal. Coffee is not breakfast, nor is it good to drink at 3 in the afternoon. Eat some real food, please, granola bars are not going to get you through the day.

Actor: in some way, shape, or form, you are a profectionist. People may get upset about the way things must line up, if your drink is one inch higher than expected, everything is ruined. Everything must be perfect, or it's terrible. You either love art, or an artist yourself who hates your art. When someone tells you you are a profectionist, you lash out in anger. Take a nap, might do you good.

JJ: silent but deadly. Words are very rarely exchanged with those outside your friend group. When someone asks you what you are reading, you lift up your book to show the title and continue to read. You made your own lunches at school. If someone crosses you, you will be passive aggressive about it. Dresses formal for every occasion.

Google: you have anger issues, eldest sibling , reliable one? When someone needs advice, you are the first to go to. You regularly go to those warehouses to destroy things. You don't work well with others, prefer to work alone than In a group. Effortlessly get A's on tests.

Marvin: you are either gay, or the gayest straight person. If there's no glitter, you don't want it. You're temper is fiery, but your significant other wouldn't have you any other way. You have enemies, and your friends are worried about that. You have either mental or physical scars and are self conscious about them. Your scars tell your story, don't be embarrassed. You live in the library and write papers that aren't necessary.

Bing: your favorite Ninja turtle was Mikey. Love Bill and Ted. The life of the party, always trying to be the cool guy. You fail at it, but you don't let that slow you down. You once tried to do something reckless, failed, and said that you'll practice until you do it. You succeed. You do anything you put your mind to. Useless facts, no, no one knew that otters hold hands while sleeping to not drift away, but thank you for sharing. Orange crush is your favorite drink.

Tell me how accurate I am!

#jacksepticeye #jse egos #jacksepticeye egos #markiplier egos #markiplier #chase brody #marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #Antisepticeye #Jamesone Jackson #henrik von schneeplestein #Darkiplier #wilford warfstache #Damian #Celine #Actor #Google #Bing #why did i make this at thsi ungodly hour

[ouchthathurts]

❝ 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬. ❞

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐬) ⋮ Haibara Yu x GN! Reader

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⋮ 4.8k

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⋮ After you and Haibara meet at an airport the two of you find comfort in food and each other.

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬 ⋮ Use of [F/N] - First Name/ [L/N]-Last Name | Cross-Posted on Ao3 | Mutual Pining | Possibly Unrequited Love | Angst | Haibara Yu is a Ray of Sunshine | JJK Manga/Anime Spoilers | Why did I write this? | Reader is a Jujutsu Sorcerer | Gender-Neutral Pronouns | Reader loves eating cause trauma

𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 ⋮ It’s canon that Haibara is into people who eat a lot. 

You were at the airport, having finally gotten off of your flight you decided to find any place around the area that had food that you had desired to eat after it being so long since you had actual food you enjoyed, whether burgers or desserts or even just rice. You walked around the airport, looking around at all the food places until your nose had picked the familiar smell of a food place you used to go to when you were young. 

To say you rushed was an understatement as you found yourself immediately lined up at the place, you were struggling to stop your excitement as you clenched your wallet with your eyes slowly tracing the menu like you were about to make sweet love to it.

You hadn’t held back when you were called, all those foods you missed out for since you were 8 had been ticking away at your sanity thus you picked almost everything on the menu, from new items to old and from the meals to the desserts. You remember the pricing, it wouldn’t even dent your wallet, thus you handed over your cash with the largest smile on your face.

Eating all of it was something you had no problem in, however, what you didn’t expect was some of your classmates being there. “[L/N]!” You raised a brow at this before straightening up and trying to hide all the food you had gotten, failure to do so could result in your family finding out about your break from their extreme diet thus docking your allowance, you had no real time either before you were met by Haibara Yu and Nanami Kento. 

You remember them from your class since your elders held you in such a disappointed regard in being a Grade 2 Sorcerer. You buried your head in shame once you were selected by Jujutsu High and became a Grade 2 sorcerer, your elders wanted you to be better thus working you to the bone was the only way you had any chance of appeasing them, there was something you enjoyed that came out of this, however. 

Since you moved out into the on-campus dorms and your elders had the money you were given a very extensive allowance thus resulted in you keeping a lot of that money to the food you found brought you joy. You were scared that these two might tell someone else about your eating habits. “Wow! That’s a lot of food, [L/N]!” The brunette chirped whilst the blond just nodded before they took a seat with you, you didn’t know what to say before Kento spoke up. 

“You usually don’t eat like this on campus.” Yu nodded eagerly at that, “Exactly! You always have those intricate lunches with all those smart foods, y’know?” You found yourself wondering about what to say, yet you definitely found yourself a peeved by such a call out on your eating habits. “I just don’t get to eat like this thanks to the elders.” Yu raised a brow before Kento nodded, “The [L/N] Clan, right? They care much for appearance.” You groaned in response to this, “Yeah. Ever since I had to become a Jujutsu Sorcerer I got stuck on this strict diet.”

You remembered the bright and blurry years of your youth, short lived since you were snatched up to be prepped to become a jujutsu sorcerer, however, there was always something to keep you and the boy in a normalcy was the act opening up your lunch box to see what was held inside. You found yourself overjoyed by the lunch, no matter how simplistic or how childish, every dish you ate was one you ate earnestly with love in every bite and appreciation at every taste.

“Well,” Yu looked over at you, a large smile that creased his eyes to closure, “You don’t need to worry about us! This’ll be our secret.” The young man then pretends to zip his lips whilst his friend did the same, you jokingly joined in before questioning their whereabouts, “Where are you guys heading off to anyways?” Yu eagerly shouted about the plans, amped and excited whilst Kento was one to feel very different by such call, “It truly isn’t a fit mission if two strongest can’t handle it.” You agreed with such.

“And first years at that, I mean, we’ve just started and to give us such missions seems a bit dehumanizing like lambs to the slaughter.” You found that your life lacked any sort of simplicity, you craved the structure that you once had before the elders in your family forced you to become a Jujutsu Sorcerer, you were so young and being torn through by those higher than you that would call for your small head on a chopping block if you decided to stay with your closed loved ones in the beauty that was a life fit for your childhood.

You were bitter by the reality.

Yu was a bit conflicted on your thinking, nonetheless, he found positives in it. “It doesn’t have to be dehumanizing.” You raised a brow whilst you continued to eat your food, you held an open year as you listened earnestly to your classmate, “We’re doing things to help society that only we can do. Isn't that what matters most? Helping those weaker than us.” You found yourself seeing the light in Yu’s words, you held his words dear as they had similarity to those who you held in high regard, you still disagreed, however. 

“Depending on children to help the weak means the weak are helping the weak.” You explained, you tied your leftovers up for later and collected the trash you were about to throw away, “If we were actually helping the weak then the higher ups would take on more missions than the children that they’re throwing into the warfare for the fact they can’t control their abilities.” Kento listened to you, the release of his eyebrows to allow them to find care in your words whilst you continued on, “You’re either killed for not wanting to be a sorcerer or you’re killed for being a sorcerer.” 

You found your heart hurt by such memories of your childhood, the feeling of someone so bright was one unfamiliar to you and Kento seemed like the only other one who understood that “There is nothing more heartless than asking a child do you want to know how you’re going to die, or do you want to know when you’re going to do die?”

Yu watched your expression with all attention on your eyes, they were dull when talking about the reality of being a part of something so barbaric as described by you, “Even if I’m only here because of my ability, I am glad to help those who don’t have the ability as I do, and even if I am too young to know really know the severity of it all. It will all have been for the betterment of it all.” You found your eyes soften at such, it was the first time they had done that other than when you took a bite of food, “We are still too young for this mission.” 

You and Yu’s attention was toward the blond before the brown-haired boy cheered, “Our upperclassmen are wearing themselves out for a young girl! We have to give it our all, Kento!” You couldn’t but notice the unwavering light that was Haibara Yu, unchanging and consistently keeping the true beauty of this world regardless of all the bleakness that had tainted yours, you admired it. 

You put the bag on your arm with it sliding down to your elbow, you thought for a moment then some before Kento acknowledged your position, “You nodded at this before getting ready to leave, “Well it was seeing you both. Have a safe mission.” You gave them a warm smile, Kento nodded, and Yu waved eagerly at you when you walked away from the two, however, there was something Yu wanted to ask you which his friend of course noticed. “Well?” The blond turned to the young man next to him, “You know me too well, Kento.” The brunette whined as the two made their way over to their waiting area.

Yu knew exactly what he was feeling, ever since that talk with how your face switched from a child snatched from the wonder to one that had experienced the grace of all things when biting into simple foods, he would often watch you as you got you ate the food off campus and how happy these foods brought you. The time you would leave Jujutsu High just to go to convenience stores and stock up the fridge you had in your dorm just dedicated to you.

Yu oftentimes saw you walk by the group, you paid no attention as the only thing really on your mind was vending machine, they were near, and he’d pay attention to what you got, the specific drinks or the lunch the school had to offer. Yu dedicated himself to asking you a simple question and with that would lead him down the hole of just wanting to see you genuinely smile. 

Your coping mechanism for it all was simple, if you began to grow restless or emotionally exhausted or even just because you wanted to, you would splurge on food and the smile that painted your face was one that allowed Yu to feel at peace with such a heartwarming grin on your face that finally allowed you to leave such a cynical way of thinking and allow you to be happy.

Whenever you were on Yu's mind the image of your smile lingers like a gentle whisper, a reminder of a time when the world seemed painted in hues of possibility that even in such a world of pessimism there would be something to bring you joy. It was a chance encounter that made him want to be around you more, and his determination to make sure he does his hardest to make sure he can make you smile. 

Yu had begun to make small conversation with you, since you were more reclusive it was a bit hard for him, nonetheless he still made sure to get know as much about you as he could by including you in conversations when you were nearby and always acknowledging you. You two even exchanged numbers one day, you two were on a mission and decided to split up thus the two of you stayed on the phone while apart from another, he would start to text you using kaomojis every morning and anytime you left for a mission to wish you luck.

This would allow Yu to gain more confidence so he would make sure he could ask you just one question, he had called you outside from the classroom door and while you were confused you still decided to get up and make your way over to him, “Yes, Haibara?” Your voice was calm like the stillness of an untouched lake, the young man was a bit intimidated yet, he still asked you this question. 

“I was wondering if I could treat you to lunch!” You looked at him, a raised brow and a tilt of your head by such an invitation, you thought about how the first and only time you and Yu had talked was when you told them your views on being a Jujutsu Sorcerer. “Oh?” The silence was evident between the two of you, you wondered why Yu was asking such question, “Oh.” Yu was asking to hang out, most likely he wanted you to join him and Nanami, but he took the initiative to come and ask you to eat with him, you didn’t know Yu meant thus you agreed.

“Sure, Haibara.” You answered, the young man wanted to fly to the moon until you uttered your next words, “I should be the one spending though, I hear a lot about your money problems from Nanami so I would rather pay for your food instead especially if Nanami is coming as well.” Yu raised a brow at this before he spoke up, putting his hands up defensively as he then fully explained his plans to you, “No. I would much rather see you happy on my dime rather than yours.” You then watched as he got flustered, the pinkness of his fair cheeks whilst he continued to smile at you, “I wanna cook for you!” 

“Oh.”

A long pause was the only thing you could offer before you choked out your next words, “Cook for me?” You pointed to yourself, questioning what in the world he could be talking about with such a thing, the determined look never feels from Yu’s face as he had this large smile on his face. “You like eating, right? I could make our favorite meals and we can eat it together during lunch tomorrow?” Your eyes widened at such proposal, you felt your own face heat up at such as the offer arrived like a gentle breeze, carrying with it a sense of disbelief and wonder. 

You felt a tremor of vulnerability in that moment, someone wanting to cook for you just because they knew it made you happy, it was a sweet gesture that left you befuddled as you thought for a moment. “Would you let me cook for you?” To ask to cook for you? You wanted to melt into a puddle at his warmness, you were standing next to the sun and the beam of his smile with those eyes that could light up a dim room made your heart swell.

“Of course, Haibara.” You smiled at the boy, your eyes creased with joy as you felt this large smile pull at your lips, “I’d like that a lot.”  Yu’s act wasn't just about romantic feelings; it was a declaration that they saw you in a light you hadn't seen shined on you since you were a child. The revelation that someone could perceive you as more than just a cynic after such words was as surprising as it was heartwarming. 

Once you and Yu found an area where he wanted to eat with you, somewhere there wasn’t too much traffic yet an area to admire you whilst he watched you eat, once you took you the lid off and uncovered the casing of the food you loved so dear be prepped with such an attention to your feelings caused a puncture in your chest that almost made you fall over. 

“Make sure you eat up!” You directed your eyes over to the young man, the shine in his eyes that trampled over the sun above you, “I know you have a mission soon, so I made seconds I could bring you before you head over there.” You found yourself looking down at the food through your lashes, your eyes felt strained as you thought about those memories from once before, you looked down at the food finding comfort in its appearance as it reminded you of earlier times.

You watched as the food that was once made with love, adoration, and compassion with the hopes your closed loved ones who had tried their best shield you from such a hardening world would help you find such feelings in the box that was neatly put together just for you to enjoy. That food would be replaced by the meals that were made to give you muscle, concentration, and focus. No love was held in such foods as their purpose was only to fuel your body into becoming a weapon for the jujutsu sorcerers.

This gesture carried the recognition that your happiness could be kindled by something as simple as meal. As you began to dig into your food, a wave of realization washed over you- Yu had been paying attention all along, observing the subtle shifts in your demeanor when you indulged in the simple pleasure of a good meal. 

You couldn’t help but eat the food with so much of your heart bursting at the taste, you could feel the tears welling in your eyes with how the food had made you feel so comforted in your lowest moments, Yu’s want to cook for you left you feeling so happy with a warmness bubbling inside you.

Yu watched as you ate as it was an embodiment of his wish to nurture the side of you that had been overshadowed by skepticism of what this world could truly offer you. In their newfound revelation and their intention to cook for you, they found a mirror reflecting back the potential for change and growth. 

The way you ate slowly to savor each bite and the way a tear rolled down your cheek was on that made Yu a bit confused as he hadn’t cooked for himself in a while and doubted his own skills, it was a realization that hit Yu like a ton of bricks, the look in your face that revealed this side of you that Yu wanted to protect forever.

“Thank you, Haibara.” You swooned, your tone unknowingly made Yu’s cheeks flush, “It’s no problem! To know my cooking made you happy is all I could ever want.” The way your face had grown hot after such made you smile even more as you continued to eat, Yu would join shortly after as he enjoyed eating with you, the admiration the two of you shared for one another in that moment held true for the rest of the time you two had.

In the months that followed, his cooking became a source of comfort and connection. With each shared meal, he nurtured not just your taste buds, but a sense of belonging that had eluded you for so long. Yu’s genuine yearn for your happiness that built up inside of him had soon blossomed into the desire to be with you more. These feelings you both harbored for one another went beyond the food itself; it was woven into the very fabric of your actions. 

The way he crafted dishes that were tailored to your preferences with each bite infused with his love that only grew greater and greater the more the two of you had grown around each other. Haibara Yu's relentless determination to see you smile created a profound shift within you. It wasn't just about the food anymore; it was about the friendship that bloomed between the two of you. The young man’s presence became a safe haven, a space where you could shed the armor and embrace vulnerability without fear of judgment. 

With every meal and time spent, the world was one you saw through Yu’s with the hope that the two of you could see the beauty in everything with each others presence by one another’s side, you recognize the world that had been obscured by your own skepticism. 

As time passed, Yu's intentions became increasingly clear – he wasn't just here as someone who wanted to cook you food; he was there to see you at your happiest with a desire to be with you in a way that was closely intertwined the two of you. Yu cherished the memory of that first smile, the one that made him want to see that smile every day, and with time that smile prevailed even without food with just the sound of his voice and the knowing of his footsteps.

In the presence of Haibara Yu, you found not only a reason to smile but a reason to embrace life with renewed fervor. The ability to remember the significance of that initial smile was a testament to his attentiveness and his unspoken promise to continue cultivating happiness through his existence alone. 

In the realm of improbable beginnings, a single shared meal served as the catalyst for a love that defied all logic that came to mind. You were willing to throw everything, you would cry out to those above you to change everything and find a way out of the life you were forced into and instead live a normal life with one you were sure deserved better than all the endings you both could be met with.

You knew that you couldn’t fight it, there was no reason to fight it anyways, to run away from being a Jujutsu Sorcerer was punishable by death thus you would happily take your life to live your happiest days with one who brought you the happiness and joy to finally be around them in a bliss of normalcy without any way of hurting getting towards the young man you wanted to make sure that you could do what you needed to guarantee yours and his safety.

It was an ordinary encounter, yet it cast a spell that bound you to him. You two met in the place you both always ate your lunches, you asked him to meet you there before he left for his mission, an anniversary of a friendship as it had been an official year since you two first shared your meal together. 

“I don't think we should be here anymore.”

The love you held for Haibara Yu wasn't a fleeting infatuation, but a steadfast devotion that had held many trials and tribulations with your plans.  It wasn't solely based on the food, or the shared laughter, or the long stares; rather, it was a foundation built on mutual understanding of one another, the beauty of this world that you could not see before him, and intimate emotions that transcended words. 

And yet, the humor lay in the very attributes that fortified our connection - these same emotions held the power to destabilize the missions as you watched Yu throw himself in front of you, to ruin all chances of a future once announced of your arranged marriage for the sake of your clan, and the fact you could not escape the feeling of all being taken from you in that moment.

“Where should we go then?” Yu raised a brow, the feeling of confused excitement laced his words as you spoke, “Anywhere. Just us living normal lives, y’know?” The young man found himself still confused on what you were saying, “Even if it takes forever, I want you to just live a normal life one day.”

Your lives entwined in unexpected ways, drawn together by a shared purpose of giving your lives for society and an unspoken understanding that both of you couldn’t even began to comprehend about one another. With each passing mission, the two of you had grown closer, it wasn’t fueled by the shared victories or moments of vulnerability. It was the fact you wanted to do everything in your power to make sure you wouldn’t lose him.

“You could finally leave this inhospitable place and be happy in normalcy.” You told the boy, he said your name with a bit of embarrassment by such an inference, “It doesn’t have to be you sacrificing your life for everything when we can be normal for the rest of our lives.” Yu’s tone of confusion, less excitement as he was trying to grasp what you were trying to say, he muttered your name once more in dismay. 

The realization that the emotions you two harbored would become a double-edged sword.

“Our duty is to protect those who cannot do what we do.” Yu explained to you, you found your eyes faltering a bit, you watched as Yu’s expression was aggrieved that deprived you of the look that was once bathed you in joy. “I know that you don’t want me to go on these missions, but I need you to understand there is nothing that will prevent that.” 

You felt your heart crumble at such a sentence, “I will give my all to something I can actually do. I will not rest until my mission is complete.” Tears rolled down your cheeks, each one a testament to the unwavering affection that had leaked from the inability to keep such emotions under wraps. You spoke against your better judgment, “Forget the mission.” The young man’s voice got louder, feeling confusion and frustration as he found his voice, “I have a duty-” Your head snapped to look at him in the eyes, “Forget your duty!” 

Yu looked at you in disbelief by your words, you found your cheeks wet by such an outburst with your chest heaving at such a mention of giving his all, the weight of your unspoken feelings grew heavier, causing your heart to ache in silence. The ache wasn't solely from your inability to confess; it was exacerbated by the knowledge that his heart was different from yours and is too aching with the same unuttered truths. You both stood at the precipice of a love that defied the circumstances that bound the two of you to the reality of your existence.

Fear held you both captive, chained to the knowledge that wanting what is best for one another. Yu wanted a life with you, and you shared in this hopeful future. Watching Yu from a distance with tears in your eyes whilst your heart ached with a silent agony. The sound of his voice slowly becoming a bittersweet symphony that echoed through your mind, a constant reminder of the love you couldn't profess.

‘What would even be the point?’ 

You could tell him you loved him just to keep him there, he would do anything to make sure you’re happy. In your heart you knew how terrible that would be to make him stop what he has his heart sent on for the selfishness to keep him here with you for even longer than it had to be.

In your mind, the fact that Yu didn’t want to leave this awful place with you already gave you the lenses to see the future that was never there in the first place. The pain of unexpressed feelings intensified, manifesting as a gnawing depression that cast a shadow over even the brightest moments. The intricacies of the relationship you two shared kept us close yet distant, fostering a maddening duality of connection and detachment.

You would envision yourself uttering the words you longed to say, with a hope of a result in watching his eyes light up with the realization that both hearts share the harmony.

The reality of it always brought you back, to keep him here with you and make sure he stayed with you longer even if it meant jeopardizing everything he ever wanted or to stay silent and let him live the life he wants to live with him sacrificing it all just to make sure those who can’t do such will be okay.

You remained a silent, caught in a perpetual loop of love and longing, loyalty and restraint. The boy who held your heart, unknowingly gripping it so hard it would pop, he continued to occupy your thoughts and dreams, a beacon of light amidst the darkness of the chosen path.

You cannot come back from this moment.

“I’m sorry for invalidating your views, Yu.” 

You wipe the tears from your face and give him a large smile, he looked at you in disbelief for a moment before you gave him such a toothy smile, “It’s selfish for me to believe in such a thing as running away from our destiny.” You sighed, your throat rasped from your tears and the words that held a tight hold on your neck.

You accepted this.

“Fulfill your duty as a strong jujutsu sorcerer.” You told Yu, giving him a warm smile, the same returned to you that let you get enveloped in all the beauty the world had offer to you as you looked into his eyes. In Yu's eyes, he watched as you gave him a smile that made him feel whole. The young man wanted to embrace you, a tight hug to hide his face from the tears about to come out, yet he just smiled at you. 

“Thank you, [F/N].”

You both bid farewell to one another you stayed there as he ran off to go prepare for his trip, you smiled before he turned back to look at you, too far to hear anything he pulled out his phone and began to text you.

You found your hands shaky, the feeling of fear palpable before you finally found the phone in your pocket, your eyes are strained against the brightness with no help of anything since the dark clouds shielded the sun from you that day. You looked confused at him, his arm shooting up to wave at you before you heard the noise of the message and ran in the opposite direction, you opened your phone to read the message.

From: Yu Haibara ★ I have something to share with you as soon as I get back! I’ll make your favorite meal and everything! See ya real soon! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Mon Jan 05, 2007

#read more #yu haibara #haibara yu #ouchlovesthem #ouchlovesjujutsukaisen #ouchloveshaibarayu #I CANT BELIEVE HES FUCKING DEAD WAGGHH #haibara x reader #yu haibara x reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #jujustu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen season 2

[sonicasura]

Realizing this now but Poppy Playtime would fit in the Transformersverse creepily well once you think about it. Shockwave, Meltdown, Mandroid, Tarantulas... They have experimented and create terror for various purposes that left either disgust, horror, or both on viewers than just the opposition.

Poppy Playtime could fit right in even more so when you notice how the toys operate. All of them are taught to pretend to be normal children playthings. Still like statues until no one notices and the perfect time to strike. Ambush predators that need to eat as there is evidence like tailoring Boxy Boo's appetite to human flesh(to get rid of those who knew too much) in a recording found inside Project Playtime or the EXP.1006/The Prototype not needing to eat unlike the other experiments within a recording inside Poppy Playtime.

I can't forget the most darkest information. These living toys were once human and the Chapter 3 ARG has given more evidence children being potential subjects. In Chapter 2, there are documents that label a kid's name but also a toy in the Game Station.

Children were actively being tested by scientists before the conversion. However the final nail in the coffin is this official video from Mob Entertainment's YouTube page. A confirmed toy who was once a person.

It gets even worse. This shit is morbid enough so how bad can it become? The Bigger Bodies Initiative. A plan to make giant toys for the purpose of labor. Legitimate slave labor in order to cut costs as these human experiments will work to sustain the factory until they are killed. Toys meant to never age so they continue to live unless put out of their misery.

Now I know you're thinking they couldn't stand a chance against Cybertronians. A giant toy might be able to offline Minicons and damage regular bots to some degree unless trained to aim for weakspots. Like ambush predators tend to do. TFA Optimus and TFP Arcee wouldn't have fun with Mommy Long Legs due to personal trauma involving spiders.

No, the danger is directed to their human companions. Most Transformers series has at least one person becoming an important member of the team with the majority being teenagers and CHILDREN. Poppy Playtime's monstrous toys can easily kill humans as Boxy Boo is made to devour adults whole without a peep.

There's no way to discern or even expect a simple children's plaything could be a man eating monster. Optimus kills a toy that found its way into base and Ratchet does an autopsy. Imagine their horror upon discovering human organs being intertwined to make an actual alive creature.

The dread only deepens as realization dawns that these are from children. Someone is bound to feel ill especially when you consider Optimus fondness for humans and the iterations with young charges. Death seems natural to a species intertwined by war for over multiple millenia.

They stomach the grief as until the battle is truly won, they can't mourn fallen comrades for long without being in constant danger. What people like Shockwave does to others truly wrought terror. To know their own kind is subjected to experimentation so extreme, so vile, that you don't believe there's a line this person won't cross.

Real horror can come from those they cherish becoming targets to an unforeseen threat. Morbid realization that toys could kill and devour the humans who snared their sparks. The disgust since these monsters once being their charges' species even possibly their age. And it can be your fault as toys like plushies are common innocent gifts.

TFP Bulkhead getting Miko a little Catnap toy as a present for her birthday. Imagine his horror seeing the girl unconscious, pain etched on her face from vivid nightmares. The toy he gave to Miko ready to take a bite out of her neck until he crushes it. Bulkhead would be forever haunted by the incident.

Now there are two threats hiding in plain sight. The machinery used for everyday life can potentially be a war criminal with the only indicator of potential death being an emblem. Now simple children playthings are possibly a former human that feeds on others.

And this threat doesn't have a warning sign until it's too late.

For those who want to delve further then here are the recordings so far. Chapter 1 & 2, Ch 3, Project Playtime Phase 1+2. Chapter 3 ARG summarized can be found here. Finally the documents from Poppy Playtime right here.

#Youtube #sonicasura #maccadam #transformers #transformers series #tf #transformers robots in disguise #poppy playtime #project playtime #mascot horror #transformers earthspark #transformers unicron trilogy #transformers g1 #transformers animated #transformers bayverse #transformers knightverse #transformers prime #transformers comics #tfa #tfes #tfp #tf g1 #back on my bullshit #this time it's poppy scented #transformers rescue bots #tf rb

[megamindsecretlair]

It Started With a Whisper - Chapter 3

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. Some sentences are intentional AAVE. Cursing, mentions of sex and private parts. This is some time after Steve jogs next to Sam. Soft Sam, fluff. Non-inclusive language, mentions of emotionally abusive family, caregiver, burdens, ill family members. Lots of fluff, dash of angst.

Summary: You are the front desk clerk who started a few months ago and you have a major crush on Sam Wilson, the handsome and sweet trauma counselor. Sam made you eat your words as Steve does swing by the VA and you have to hold up your end of the bet.

Word Count: 5,256k

Masterlist

A/N: Yeah...this ended up on the long side. Rare of me, but I hope it flows and that you melt like I did reading it. Writing about him has...made me love him even more? I've never been to DC, so don't shoot me. Don't forget to take breaks and hydrate! Ik the gif isn't from the movie, but this is a really silly Sam. Likes are always awesome. Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @multiversefanfics @wanniiieeee @hidden-treasures21 @targaryenvampireslayer @chaos-4baby

“Excuse me, do you know where I can find Sam Wilson?” 

You looked up from this week’s schedule with a polite smile on your lips. Your eyes shuttered as you took in the man before you. Your smile dropped.

“You’re…”

“Steve Rogers,” the man said. He held out his hand to you. You continued to stare at the man. The videos didn’t do him justice. He was handsome in the classic American kind of way. His hair was short, he had a boyish grin, and clear blue eyes. He wore a dark jacket and white shirt. 

And holy hell…the muscles. “Well, fancy seeing Captain America here.” Ariel rolled her chair closer to the front and took Captain America’s hand. She held on a second too long and a faint blush crossed his cheeks.

“Please, just Steve.” He swung his hand to you and Ariel nudged you with her elbow. 

“Right. Hi, Mr. Rogers.” You shook his hand and mentally kicked yourself from here to Egypt. You were going to smack Sam when you saw him. He set yo ass up. And you fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

“Steve, please. Please,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Sam’s in the middle of a meeting. If you’d like, I can tell him you’re here,” you said.

“No, thank you. I’d actually like to catch some of it, if that’s okay?” Steve asked.

You nodded and giggled. Like a teenager. Get a grip. You told him the room that Sam works out of and Steve thanked you. Ariel eyed him up and down and waved to him.

“Thank you. For everything you did for New York,” you managed to eke out. You had no idea what his life was like but from all the dozens of documentaries floating out there, it wasn’t every day that you actually got to meet a real life superhero. 

People were still on the fence about superheroes. Some thought they were a government conspiracy. Some thought they were unnecessary. And there was only so much arguing with online trolls you could do. If it weren’t for these superheroes, the world would be bowing to that Loki guy and those freakish aliens.

You thought of your mom and her growing paranoia. It was so bad, she stopped leaving the house. You couldn’t fathom her having to see them every day or being under their control. 

“Team effort, wasn’t all me. But thank you,” Steve said. He smiled with that boyish grin and took off down the hall towards Sam’s meeting room.

“Hm, I just want that white boy to pick me up and throw me across the room. I’d say thank you,” Ariel sighed. You laughed and smacked her arm. “Shut up.”

Ariel leveled you with a shit-eating grin. She slid along the desk until she was in your personal space. “Soo, what are you wearing to your date with Sam?”

You groaned and plopped your head on the desk. “I’m so dumb. Why did I agree to that bet?” You kicked your feet under the desk.

“Because you like that man. And you wanted to go. I don’t know why you keep actin’ like you don’t.” 

Now it was your turn to level a glare at Ariel. “I would love to go out with Sam. But my family…”

“Your family nothing. What, you’re gonna wait on them hand and foot? At some point, they have to let you grow up.” 

You pursed your lips. Ariel had heard every complaint and incident involving your family. So she knew the whole sordid affair just like you knew her feelings on the matter. She thought that you should just move out and to hell with all of them. 

But you weren’t built like that. Behind all the gaslighting, the toxicity, and narcissism, there was a kernel of love there. You couldn’t tell your Dad that you couldn’t take him to his appointments. You couldn’t tell your mom that you refused to run errands for her since she can’t go outside anymore. Your siblings were in school. If you didn’t take them, who would? 

It was unfair that the burden was all on you. There were times when you went to bed crying your eyes out. Every morning, you got up and squared your back and handled business. For right now, there was no alternative so it was pointless arguing with Ariel when she would only tell you the same thing.

She was your best friend, but she reacted so strongly to anything involving your family. After a while, it was easier to stop bringing them up.

Both of you returned to your work. You idly gossiped about how Sam knew Steve. If he said they went jogging, then he wasn’t such a liar after all. You’d pay good money to see Sam jog near Steve, a whole super soldier. 

Hell, you just wanted to see Sam jog, let’s be a little honest. You daydreamed for the next hour or so until the sound of Ariel’s chair rolling caught your attention. You swiveled to face her.

She half stood and half squatted as she looked down the hallway. “What are you doing?” You asked.

“They’re done with the meeting. Sam’s talking to Steve right now,” she whispered, even though Sam’s room was a ways down the hall. 

Not one to be left out, you mirrored Ariel’s pose and caught a glimpse of Sam and Steve talking in the hallway. Sam wore a blue and gray plaid shirt, open at the collar, and a white tee underneath. He also wore khaki pants. You had teased him relentlessly about his old man way of dressing. He merely struck a pose and said he knew he looked good.

Your lips curved into a smile at the thought. That boy was goofy as hell. You often caught yourself smiling over something he said or did while you talked during your coffee runs. 

As you watched, their conversation seemed more on the serious side. Captain America was right there, but your eyes kept drifting over Sam and the way he filled out the outfit. Damn him. He did look good.

Sam shook Steve’s hand before Steve left with a final wave down the hall. You and Ariel sat down with soft giggles at being caught. Whistling drew your attention back over the counter as Sam floated into view with an annoying grin on his face.

“Well, well, well,” he said. 

You lasted two seconds before breaking out into a laugh. You stood up and leaned over the counter. 

“That was a set up and you led me right to it,” you said.

He shrugged with a sugary sweet smile. “I merely used all of my hard earned battle training to my advantage. Never enter a bet you aren’t sure of winning,” he said.

“Then you’ve clearly never had a wild night in Vegas,” Ariel piped in. 

“I’ve had a couple,” Sam said.

“Naw. The stories I could tell about me and–” You glared at Ariel and silently dared her to say another word.

“Oh, wait, wait. You get down like that?” Sam matched your pose and brought his face closer to you. It was the closest you two had ever been and your eyes flicked to his lips before you remembered yourself.

“Not telling. And neither is Ariel,” you said. 

Sam groaned and tilted his head. “Just one story?” He gave you an adorable pout and you laughed. 

“No! What happens in Vegas…”

He sighed dramatically. “You’re no fun. So what time should I pick you up tonight?” He asked.

“Tonight? That’s not enough notice!” Mild panic rushed through you. You had to pick up your siblings, make sure everyone had dinner, and make sure your mom actually took her meds. Then, you had to find an outfit and get dolled up and…

“Hey, hey, I was kidding,” Sam said. He reached out and patted your hand. You turned your head away and took a few deep breaths. He squeezed your hand in short bursts until you looked at him.

“I’m sorry. It was a dumb joke. When can I take you out?” 

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one that’s sorry. I…I do better when I have advanced notice for things,” you admitted. 

Sam nodded. “I can work with that. Is Friday okay? Or do you need to check your schedule and rearrange your other dates?” 

You laughed and tapped his arm. “Shut up. Friday is fine, Sam.” You smiled at him, hoping he’d forget all about your mini freak out. He eyed you as if he didn’t but smiled and nodded.

“Friday it is. Wear something comfortable,” he said. 

You squinted at him. “Where are you taking me?” You asked.

“And spoil the surprise? Not a chance. I’m gonna get this right, don’t you worry,” he said with a smirk. 

You wanted to challenge him on it. However, a bet was a bet and you always kept your word. Sam hadn’t let you down so far and there was no reason to keep giving him the third degree. 

“I’m really looking forward to it,” you said.

Sam raised his eyebrows and glanced at Ariel. “You didn’t tell her to say that to put me out of my misery, did you?” 

Ariel threw up her hands. She wasn’t even trying to pretend that she hadn’t been paying attention this entire time. You supposed it was better than having to rehash it all. 

“That’s all her. I’m sure Captain America finally convinced her to give you a shot,” she said.

“He did not!” You laughed. Sam laughed with you. 

“I mean…have you seen him?” Sam joked, making Ariel and you laugh. 

You slapped his arm again. “You have serious issues. I hope you know that,” you told him.

“Nope, I just got a date with the most gorgeous woman in all of DC. Nothin’ can bring me down right now,” he said. He rapped his knuckles against the counter and walked backwards. He smirked and bowed his head before turning around and heading back to his meeting room. 

You stood there, frozen, your mouth slightly agape. That…

“Girl, you need to get under that man and lock it down,” Ariel said. 

Her voice saved you from having to think about what he just said. You knew you were gorgeous. But to hear him say it with his deep voice just turned you into a puddle. 

You sat down in your seat. His words replayed over and over in your head. You had a date with Sam Wilson. Who had that on their bingo card, show of hands?

***

Friday night arrived and you were a ball of nerves. You wore a navy babydoll tee, leggings, and sandals. It was appropriate for a date and still sexy. The babydoll tee had a low neckline, giving a little peek at your boobs. You didn’t know if you’d sleep with Sam tonight, but the night was young.

You paced in the living room and wrung your hands. Your siblings were squared away, eating their dinner to rising protests about how they weren’t babies. Your dad was left snoozing in front of the TV and his legs up on the recliner. And your mom…paced with you and asked you a million questions about Sam.

“Are you sure he isn’t an alien?” She asked.

“As much as I can be. I’m not a doctor,” you said. 

“Where did you meet him?” 

“At work, mom.” You tried to keep the annoyance out of your voice. She had a serious condition that everyone was doing their damndest to accommodate. At the same time, you wished someone would accommodate you for once. You hadn’t been out on a date in…you didn’t want to think about how long.

On the off chance that you recognized someone was trying to ask you out, you made excuse after excuse. You didn’t want the extra drama. You didn’t want to…well, be in this exact situation with your mom breathing down your neck and making your own anxiety worse. 

All day, your stomach had been in painful knots. You’d talked yourself out of going a million times. But yesterday, on your coffee run with Sam, he asked for your number. You gave it and he had been just as sweet over text as he was in person. You worried that you’d run out of things to talk about. That was impossible with Sam. He made sitting in bumper to bumper traffic sound interesting.

Blessedly, the doorbell rang. Your mom squealed and headed for the dining room with your siblings. They knew the drill. They started to engage her in conversation until she stopped focusing on you and answered their questions. They were little shits, but they were yours.

You went to the front door and took a deep breath. You opened it to find Sam standing there wearing a dark gray Henley, a mocha leather jacket, dark jeans, and sneakers. He looked scrumptious. With a fresh haircut and his goatee trimmed. 

He looked you up and down with equal scrutiny and he smiled. “You look amazing,” he said. 

“Not so bad yourself. I see you trying to step it up,” you said. 

Per his usual, he struck a pose and chuckled. “Had to show out a little bit. As much as I definitely want you to stay perfect, you’re gonna need a jacket. A real one. Nothin’ like a sweater or those half-sweaters ya’ll be wearing,” he said.

You laughed and shook your head. On the wall by the door, there was a hook with jackets and sweaters that you wore all the time. You grabbed a heavy black hoodie that still went with your outfit.

“Is that going to work for this mystery date?” You asked. 

He reached out and felt it. “It’ll do. Ready?” He asked. 

You nodded and locked up behind you. Before long, you were in his car and heading…somewhere. He refused to tell you where. You grew up here so you tried to guess with each stop and turn that he made.

“Is it a rooftop bar?” You asked, thinking of the various hotels that had attractions inside. 

He chuckled. “No, stop guessing,” he said. You watched him as he drove. It was so…sexy. One of those things that shouldn’t be. Most adults drove. You drove. There was something incredibly hot about watching a man drive one-handed, his other hand on his thigh, and his eyes trained on the idiots in traffic. 

Sam made it look powerful and engaging. “I got something on my face?” He asked.

You laughed to cover up your embarrassment at being caught staring. “Yeah, it’s sort of around your mouth,” you said.

Sam patted his face and looked in the rearview mirror. He came to a stop at a red light and checked again. “I don’t see anything,” he said. He looked to you for help and you rolled your lips inwards to keep from laughing. 

“Oh…sorry. It’s just your mustache,” you said.

Sam’s face dropped for a split second and then he laughed. “Oh, I see we got jokes,” he said.

On green, he continued forward and you laughed. “You kinda walked into it,” you said.

Sam nodded and poked your leg. “We’ll see who’s laughing more later on tonight,” he said. You poked him in the arm. It was like poking a bag full of quarters. He was deceptively buff. 

You joked more as Sam pulled into a parking garage in Georgetown. “The Waterfront?” You asked with an excited squeal. He chuckled at your enthusiasm. “Surprise!” 

You laughed as he pulled in and found a parking spot. You both got out and he offered his arm. You shook your head as you placed your hand around it. He guided you to a restaurant you’d never been to before.

“I didn’t know this was here,” you said. 

He shrugged. “I know some things. Better stick with me,” he said. He smiled at you and there it was again. That sense of familiarity. As if you could imagine this over and over and never get sick of it. You pulled your gaze away from his. This was something breezy and casual. Unfortunately, that was all you could offer.

The thought of your family dimmed your smile. As wonderful as Sam was, there was no way in hell you were asking him to deal with them. They were your cross to bear. He’d find someone else, someone with less baggage to love on him and hold him. 

Acid boiled in your gut at the thought of Sam taking someone else out to dinner. At the thought of their hands on him. It stole your breath, robbed you of any clear thought.

“Hey, where’d you go? You okay?” Sam asked. He nudged you and moved to get out of line. You stopped him. He planned a beautiful evening and you wanted to see it. You wanted to see it with him.

“I’m fine. Promise. Where’d you hear about this place?” You smiled at him but he only frowned. 

“If you’re not feeling well, I can take you home. There’s no pressure here,” he said.

You sighed. Damn the man. “Sam, if you don’t buy me dinner, I’ll tell Ariel you were very rude on our date,” you said.

The fake betrayal on his face made you laugh. “You would sic Ariel on me?” 

You nodded. “Sure would. In a heartbeat,” you said. 

Sam gave you a fake hurt look and approached the host. He had called ahead and made a reservation. The host was a short, spunky dude with greased hair and a practiced fake smile. He waved for a waiter to come by and show you to your seat. 

The restaurant was tasteful and warm. It had intimate lighting but it wasn’t so low that you couldn’t see the other person right next to you. The atmosphere was inviting. The waiter led the both of you out onto the patio area with a perfect view of the sunset over the harbor. 

“Sam, this is gorgeous!” You furiously whispered to him as he held your seat out. Once you sat down, he took his own seat. The waiter handed you both menus and asked if you wanted anything to drink. Sam took a light beer, his only one as a promise, and you got a glass of wine.

“I wanted tonight to be special. Don’t expect this all the time. This is just to sucker you in,” he said.

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “Shut up. This is really wild. Did you really plan this?” 

“Okay, maybe a little help from my sister. I can’t take all the credit. Can’t let me have one, can you?” He teased.

“Not a one,” you said and laughed. 

You talked all throughout the night. Conversation with Sam was so easy. You asked him about growing up in Louisiana and what’s the biggest critter he’d ever seen. You asked him about his parents running the fishing business together and why he joined the military. 

He asked you about your family and you told him most of the good stuff. You told him about the shenanigans they got into and what your dad did for a living. As for your mom, well, she primarily worked from home. It was a tiny, white lie that you felt horrible about. Sam was always so honest. But it was too much to dump on someone.

The sun lazily dipped below the horizon beside you. You knew now why he insisted on a jacket. The breeze from the harbor was bitter but enjoyable. He stopped after one beer like he promised. You stopped after two glasses. You didn’t want to get sloppy wine-drunk. 

That’d be embarrassing. If he was going to see you wasted, it might as well be on Tequila when you’d really let loose. You wondered what he’d be like drunk. If he ever got drunk. 

“I’ve been drunk, I’m not a saint,” he said with a chuckle, as your dinner drew to a close. The food was criminally delicious. Sam told you about an ice cream shop that stayed open late if you were open to dessert later.

You didn’t want the night to end either. So while you waited for the check, Sam sipped on water. “Trust me, we got pretty wild overseas on deployment. There’s nothing to do but fight and try to forget,” he said.

“You saw his mouth turn down at the corners. Sore subject. So you pivoted. “Wild, huh? Like stealing humvees and doing takeovers?” 

He laughed so loud that the people around you gave you disapproving looks. Sam apologized and waved to everyone. “You’re gonna get us in trouble!” 

“Me!” You waved him off. “I’m not the one who tried to make me snort while I was drinking,” you said.

He raised his hands in surrender and smirked. “I can’t help it if I’m hilarious,” he said.

“As long as your ego is well in hand,” you said.

He shrugged. Damn the man. “To your earlier point, no, we didn’t do takeovers. But we got into stuff. Pranks, teasing, we would play ball with the local kids. It was fun sometimes,” he said. 

“Anything to pass the time over there. I know nothing about it, so I can’t speak on it,” you said. 

“It’s alright. It was like a fucked up version of summer camp. Except summer never ends so it’s always hot as hell and you’re just trying to survive the day,” he said. “But enough about that. I have to hear about these wild and unchaperoned Vegas trips you took with Ariel.”

You covered your mouth to keep from laughing too loud. The waiter came by, saving you from having to talk. Your shoulders shook with quiet laughter and Sam took the check. He tilted it towards you.

“Not gonna try and reach for the bill?” He asked with a smirk.

“Okay, smartass,” you said. He chuckled and took his card out of his wallet. He signed it and handed it to the waiter. “So…Vegas?” 

“You couldn’t pay me to get that information,” you said.

“It must’ve been something freaky,” he said.

You tossed your napkin at him and he caught it with a laugh. The waiter came back and wished you a good night. Sam led you out of the restaurant. “You’re gonna have to roll me out of the car,” you said. You rubbed your belly and Sam laughed.

“I’m stuffed too. Let’s walk it off,” he said. He held his hand out for yours. You took it with a grimace. “You’re not gonna make me into a jogging partner or anything right? I hate running,” you said.

“I promise to keep my jogging to myself,” he said and chuckled. Together, you walked up and down the boardwalk next to the harbor. Lights from the Waterfront stretched out over the water and people milled around you. Conversation flowed well. You learned so much about his childhood and his sister. He lamented the fact that he didn’t get home as often as he wanted to. Counseling wasn’t completely demanding but he also didn’t want to pass it off to someone else.

“I formed a good group of people. I want them to know I’m there,” he said.

“People love you, Sam. They love attending your meetings. But you know that it’s okay to take breaks and vacations right?” 

“I know. I left Louisiana and just haven’t looked back. I love it there, but there’s so much world to see, you know? Food to try. Pretty girls to flirt with,” he said.

You rolled your eyes to keep from grinning so hard. “And you’re not even shameless about it,” you said.

“How can I be?” He gave you a pointed look. He winked and opened the door to the ice cream shop. You both got different flavors and took a tiny piece from each other’s cup. You walked back outside. The boardwalk was starting to wind down.

You walked and ate. You were proud that you hadn’t spilled anything on you. Sam was still a ball of energy, talking and telling you more stories. He was full of them. It was like he collected them from every person he met.

As you walked to the car and finished up your ice cream, you gave him a side eye. “So I have to know…Captain America? Really?” 

Sam chuckled. “Hey, all I did was jog. He chose a new spot that day and passed me like a million times. No, he's a solid dude. Just…regular,” he said. “Well, regular and he can whup alien ass,” he said and laughed.

“I don’t think it’s easy for him to be in our time. When he went into the ice, we were at war with the Nazis. When he came out of it, suddenly there’s internet and TV shows, and everyone’s got a car. It’s a lot,” Sam said.

You nodded. “I’m glad he has you. Everyone needs a Sam in their life, it’s kind of the requirement if that’s your name,” you said. 

“How you figure?” He asked.

“Lord of the Rings, Supernatural, Game of Thrones…” you listed off. Sam stopped walking and stared at you.

“Don’t tell me you’re a nerd,” he said. He made ‘nerd’ sound so dirty. You opened your mouth to argue from here until kingdom come about how awesome being a nerd was before you saw him fighting a smile. 

“You get on my nerves!” You said. He laughed and you threw away your ice cream cups. Even after eating that and being out in the harbor, Sam’s hand was warm as he grabbed yours. You smiled and put your head on his shoulder.

“This was amazing, Sam,” you said as you walked to the car. 

“I’m very glad,” he said. He put his head next to yours before letting you go and opening the car door for you.

“You know you don’t have to do that,” you said. He shrugged. “I like doing it,” he said.

You slid into the car. Your nerves were shot. You know he didn’t expect anything from you, but you also promised your mom that you wouldn’t be too late. You knew that no amount of coaxing from your siblings would get her to settle down. She would stay up until every member of her flock was at home.

She wasn’t that bad, most nights. But it had been too long since you went on a date. Sam slipped into the car and backed out. “Back to your place, right?” 

You smiled. Damn the man. He seemed to pick up on your thoughts as if he could read them. You squinted at him. You can’t actually read my mind, can you? 

“If you say my goatee is on my face again, we’re gonna have a problem,” he said and chuckled.

Okay, couldn’t read your mind. You laughed. “My place is good, thank you.” 

You talked more on the way back to your place. The itis was starting to hit you and you yawned. Sam chuckled. “Almost there,” he said.

He pulled onto your street. All the carefree fun you had soured in your gut. You didn’t want to return to the hellhole. Some wispy part of you wished Sam would keep driving and kidnap you, take you far, far away.

Fairytales didn’t happen in real life. Even lives filled with gods and aliens. And not for Black girls who had to grow up too fast.

Sam pulled up to the curb. The porch light was on. You were sure your mom was somewhere in the house, listening and waiting for you to open the door. You stared out of the window and mentally rallied your patience. 

“Hey, I want you to know that you can always talk to me. It’s not that I demand to know everything up front, but I can tell when you’re holding something back. I’d rather you tell me that you don’t want to share something than feel like you have to hide it or lie to me,” he said.

You smiled at him. “My home life is really insane. I don’t want to get into something deeper if it’ll end up being too much for you. My family will always require more of my focus,” you said.

Sam nodded. “I’m not asking you to choose between me and your family. I’m asking for a chance to decide that for myself. I can’t do that without all of the facts.” 

He was right. You knew he was right. It wasn’t fair to keep all of the cards and blame him for not being able to play. “It’s a lot. Can I swear to tell you in chunks?” 

“I can work with that. So, that means I get a second date?” He asked and waggled his eyebrows.

“Boy, bye,” you said and chuckled. “But yes. Safe to say I want to go on a second date with you,” you said.

He nodded and got out of the car. He came around and opened the door for you. It was pointless fighting him on it at this point. He was just going to find a sneakier, faster way to do it. While it would be hilarious to see him scurry around the car to open the door for you, it was much easier to let him be a gentleman. And it was lowkey really nice. 

You got out and Sam took your hand. He walked you to the door like a proper gentleman. At the door, Sam faced you. “I had a really good time with you. And I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. That’s all I want,” he said.

You stepped closer. “Just shut up and kiss me already,” you said.

Sam chuckled before getting closer and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It was practically chaste. But then he smiled against your lips and kissed you like he meant it. He pressed his lips more firmly against yours.

He licked your bottom lip and you gasped. He slipped his tongue inside and cupped the back of your head. You melted against him and he held you up, taking the kiss from you. You followed his lead as he explored your mouth with his. The kiss felt magical. So magical that your panties grew damp.

You didn’t know how much time passed by before you broke apart, needing air. “Damn,” you said on a sigh.

Sam chuckled. He placed his forehead against yours as he caught his breath. He smelled faintly like the ice cream he had. “I’m gonna be counting the days until I can do that again,” he said.

“Don’t wait too long,” you said. 

He chuckled and kissed you again. “You better get in the house before I embarrass myself,” he said. 

You chuckled and kissed him one more time for the road. You unlocked the door and went inside with a tiny wave. He nodded. You closed the door and locked it and knocked on the door. He knocked back.

You heard the car door slam shut and then the driver’s side open and shut. The car turned over. You rested your back against the door, grinning like an idiot. You were glad that the house was dark so no one would catch the little dance you did. 

As far as first dates went, he knocked it out of the park and you couldn’t wait for the second one.

Masterlist | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

#Megaminds Secret Files #The Secret Sam Wilson Files #Sam Wilson x Black!reader #Sam Wilson x Black reader #Sam Wilson x Fem!reader #Sam Wilson x Fem reader #Sam Wilson x plus size reader #Sam Wilson x reader #Sam Wilson x you #Sam Wilson fanfic #Sam Wilson fan fic #Black writers #Sam Wilson Falcon #Sam Wilson Captain America #marvel smut

[fiction-giga]

Built in "Pilwos"

30 Day Blurb Challenge - list link here

Day 15 - Making sure to be quiet when they fall asleep

Dad!Eddie Munson x AFAB!Reader

Warnings - Mentions of manipulation and coercion

Word Count - 0.7k

Delilah was a notorious chest sleeper. Anytime she saw you or Eddie lounging, she was pouncing on one of you and crashed right on your chest.

She even calls your boobs, “Built-in pilwos” which is adorable in its own right. However, the only downfall to having your little one want to sleep on your chest is the inevitable jealousy of her father.

Eddie was not a fan of his daughter stealing his spot. He tried to work with her on the subject multiple times, pulling the “I’ve know your mother longer” card. You didn’t even have to scold Eddie for using such unfair tactics because Delilah was on it.

Her quick wits usually beat out Eddie's before he could even make it to the starting line. She would even cross her arms and puff out her lips to really sell her point. He would give up due to easily being frustrated, usually mutter something like, "I raised her too well." as he walked away in defeat.

“She will not let up! I don’t even know who taught her manipulation tactics!” He whined.

“You did! From day one you were teaching her how to get her way.” You giggled at his scrunched up face.

“I wasn’t teaching her to manipulate people, I was teaching her how to survive. It’s a cutthroat world, and I don’t want my daughter living in it without knowing how to work the system.”

But those few times Delilah chose her dad's chest instead of yours, he would eat every second of it up. You would just roll your eyes, not really doing a good job at hiding your jealousy. He would stick his tongue out at you when you would flip him off, both of you making sure to keep quiet as to not disturb the little girl.

Pretty much everytime Delilah chose Eddie, he was asleep not long after she was. The whole thing was kind of incredible.

He could go days without sleeping thanks to past trauma, but as soon as D laid on his chest, he was out like a light. It was actually kind of adorable. The effect your daughter had on Ed was undeniable.

Today was just one of those days. You assumed it was because you were unavailable, tending to some little things around the house. Eddie wasn't occupied at the moment and as soon as Delilah let out the smallest of yawns, he was babying her up a storm. He somehow coaxed her into laying down, fist pumping in the air as she got situated.

You left for five minutes, five minutes, and by the time you got back, Eddie was out. His soft snores mixed with Delilah's soft sighs. Her chubby cheek was squished against her father's worn Megadeth t-shirt, her mouth falling open in a cute little 'o' shape. Eddie's hand rested on her back as he held her in place. His hair was sprawled out on the throw pillow beneath him and his brows were furrowed the tiniest bit.

You smiled down at the two. Your heart ached a bit just from the sheer amount of love you shared for them. Your whole world was sleeping on top of one another on your small couch in the living room of the home you and Eddie had worked so hard to maintain. It was mind-blowing.

With a small sigh of defeat, and the tiniest twinge of betrayal, you reached over to grab the blanket that was folded over the back of the couch cushions. You laid it over the two gently, watching as Delilah stirred a bit in her sleep, snuggling further into Eddie's chest.

You leaned down and give them each a kiss on the forehead. Both hands came to rest on a face, brushing the wild curly hair they both inherited out of their eyes. You knew neither of them liked the tickling feeling very much as they tried to sleep. Just another thing the two had in common. You smiled to yourself as you whispered, "Sleep tight," to the pair before tiptoeing away to resume your housework.

#eddie munson blurb #eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson scenario #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson one-shot #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson hc #eddie munson hcs #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson dialogue #eddie munson x reader fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie x reader #eddie x female reader #eddie x you #eddie x yn

[friends-to-lovers-tournament]

Friends to Lovers Tournament: Round 2, Side A, Match 4

propaganda under the cut!

Fuyupoly:

Submission 1:

they're from the winter troupe of the mankai company, and unlike the other troupes they're all adults. that said, they all have varying degrees of trauma and emotional stuntedness. it takes them some time to fully open up to each other bc they're all very cautious of each other's boundaries and don't want to cross any lines which initially led to some issues in the group's formation. over time they've learned to bridge the gap while still being mindful of hard boundaries. at one point they have a discussion about what exactly their relationship is (gay) cuz they were talking about how the other troupes have clearly defined dynamics (spring=family, summer=besties, autumn=rivals & teammates) but they don't,, and homare deadass says they're "people bound by a common destiny" which in and of itself sounds very Gay (like why are you as a man bound to other men by a common destiny), but it goes even further because homare starts spouting WEDDING VOWS: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" THIS IS A DIRECT QUOTE FROM THE GAME AND THE MC EVEN REMARKS "i can already hear wedding bells in the distance..." 

gradually they become closer, in individual sub-units based on who's paired up as co-leads for a play, and as a troupe overall. also two of its members are childhood friends who had a messy 'divorce' in their young adulthood and it took the game breaking its genre to introduce a timeloop for them to finally make up if that means anything to you. one of their troupe songs "precious to us ~bokura no kisetsu" has some pretty beautiful and fruity lines: "The many kindnesses born in me here / Never fail to breathe life into my chest / Even all the pain and bitterness / Have now become dear to me (Ah…Stay with me)", "No matter how many times our season passes / Let us keep living together / Holding our hands, without ever letting go / Let us open up the curtain of tomorrow", "There is no need for words, because once our gazes meet / Joy sparks a light in your eyes", "Our journey, may it be a brilliant one / As our breaths overlap as one"

a lot of their plays has a LOT of homoerotic tension between the two leads too. their first play has tsumugi and tasuku play angels, and it's heavily implied that tasuku's character has an unrequited crush on tsumugi's character. their third play has azuma play a vampire and tasuku play Just Some Guy and it's generally agreed in the fandom to be one of the gayest, if not THE gayest, play A3 has ever written. obviously the vampire thing is very fruity, but there's also how the vampire was longing to bite the human but was holding himself back, and when the vampire left the human in the end, the human was absolutely HEARTBROKEN over it and was swearing they would reunite one day. the stage play of this takes it even further by having the vampire embrace the human from behind and BITE his neck. the fourth play is a watered-down adaptation of Phantom of the Opera where they genderbend Christine into Chris among other things and change the relationship between Chris and the Phantom to one of friendship.... ostensibly so, because there's still a lot of homoerotic undertones in their interactions. i could go on but this should be enough of a sampling taste 

Submission 2:

the writers rlly said "let's take 2 normal guys who are childhood friends and have been into theatre since their school days and have them go through a pre-canon messy divorce, an eccentric poet with a potentially controversial haircut, an amnesiac sleepyhead who can only be awoken with marshmallows but is also somehow extremely athletic despite doing nothing but sleeping and eating marshmallows all day, a man who is so beautiful and mysterious he breaks gender, and a supposed android from a fictional south asian country, and throw them into a blender, oh and for good measure let's throw in some theatre and angst and gay and angst and gay" and the end result was marriage. i mean it took them a lot of awkward fumbling around and conflicts to get there but they got there and thats what matters. ok *technically* in-text they're all rlly good friends and kinda found family BUT they are found family via marriage papers i do not make the rules chief

Submission 3:

The reason why they are so friends-to-lovers to me is because their relationship is founded on quiet and unconditional acceptance of each other—regardless of how flawed they may be or how heavy their burdens and trauma may be. When the troupe first formed (sans Guy who was in another country at the time), they didn’t have any major clashing personalities at the very beginning and generally they were mindful of each other’s boundaries, unlike the other troupes that came before them. However, it’s BECAUSE they were too mindful of said boundaries that it was difficult for them to break down their walls and bond as a team—and there were a LOT of walls to break down, as all of them had varying degrees of emotional baggage and trauma.

In fact, it’s only three plays in that they finally truly start opening up to each other, with Azuma getting the ball rolling by opening up about the deep loneliness that haunted him ever since his childhood. It’s during this conversation that they also discuss what their relationship as a troupe is, because the other troupes have defined their relationship as a team (Spring is family, Summer is best friends, Autumn is rivals & teammates), and Homare goes on to declare that they’re “people bound by a common destiny” and goes on to spew wedding vows: "In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, we shall share our laughter and our tears as those with an intertwined fate... How beautiful we are!" I mean… it can’t get any more obvious than this, really. They are married.

But anyway, Tsumugi says he wants their relationship to be one where while they respect each other’s need for space, they’ll also be there for each other and share their pains and burdens—or in his words: “supporting each other when our burdens become too heavy to bear on our own”—which I think is really sweet because it carries this idea of quiet, unconditional acceptance; they don’t push each other to share more than they’re comfortable with sharing, but with whatever they ARE comfortable with sharing everyone carries the load and pain because pain is easier to bear when you’re not bearing it alone <3 

A later part of the story focuses on Hisoka, a mysterious amnesiac, being terrified of regaining his memories and facing some “sin” from his past that has led to another character, Chikage, trying to take revenge on him. When he confesses this to the rest of the Winter troupe, Homare asks, “How heavy is this sin you bear?” and Azuma suggests, “Perhaps it’s just heavy enough for the five of us to carry together.” (at this point Guy hasn’t joined yet). The stage play adapts this scene into a song called Key to Memory. The key (pun unintended) part is 1:27 where there’s a back-and-forth between Hisoka and the other Winter troupe members (sans Tasuku because he wasn’t in that particular play)

Hisoka: “I’m scared…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s okay.”

Hisoka: “My unforgivable sin…”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “Let’s carry it together.”

Hisoka: “I might not be me anymore.”

Tsumugi, Homare, Azuma: “It’s all right. We understand and we accept you, so let’s go together.”

And it ends with Hisoka singing: “I was afraid to open the door of my locked memories. But if everyone is here, I believe I can do it.”  In both the game and stage play, Hisoka fully regains his memories and reconciles with Chikage (long story). He tells Fuyupoly he can’t go into detail about his past with Chikage because it’s dangerous but he’ll tell them when the time is right, and they accept this saying that no matter what his past is, they know and love him as their Hisoka which obviously is a very sweet thing for friends to say, but it’s also very Marriage-coded to me.

Later, Guy is introduced as an android from Zahra (a fictional South Asian country) and joins the Winter troupe as a temporary member—because he’s stuck in Japan for the foreseeable future—until they find a permanent member to replace him. The other Winter members have a conversation among themselves and agree that regardless of whether he’s really an android or a human they’ll accept Guy for who he is and help him improve his acting, which again harkens back to the idea of ‘unconditional acceptance’. Eventually it’s revealed that Guy is in fact a human who has forgotten his memories of the past and his emotions. He recovers his memories all at once which shocks his system and causes him to pass out. When he wakes up in his room, he finds the rest of the Winter Troupe asleep around the room—which I believe is symbolic of their whole theme of “quiet acceptance”: they don’t want to push Guy to share beyond what he’s comfortable with, but they’re always there to listen to him and share his load if that’s what he wants. He opens up about the memories he recovered, and they don’t treat him with pity like he’s a lost child, but still extend gentle empathy and understanding. They also emphasise that it genuinely doesn’t matter to them whether he’s human or android because he’s Guy first and foremost. It’s at this point that Guy truly lets himself become part of the Winter troupe/Fuyupoly and not just as a temporary stand-in member, because he’s found a place where he’s found himself again and people who will accept who this “himself” is, whether that be an android devoid of emotions or a human brimming with vivid beautiful emotions.[Mod note: There’s a LOT more but we’re afraid of crashing the post. I (Deli) summarised it the best I can since I’m familiar with A3, but if you want to read the full thing you can check it out on this google doc)

Sourin:

okay so i have a picture to crack explain the sourin supremacy

but i also have legitimate reasons lmao

1. sousuke and rin both GET what it's like to want something so bad but not be able to achieve it. they know each other's pain so well, and they know just how much effort the other person puts into swimming. AND THAT MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING STRENGTHENS THEIR BOND SO MUCH!!! this is also the reason why they are each others' comfort person because the other just GETS it, no need for any explanations

2. they're passionate as fuck about the same thing (swimming) and they help each other train harder and swim better,,, like get you a couple with the same obsessions as you!!!

3. THEY SWAM A RELAY TOGETHER and that means a lot in swimming because IT'S BASICALLY SMTH A TEAM DOES WHEN THEY HAVE ABSOLUTE TRUST IN EACH OTHER AND THEY DEPEND ON EACH OTHER AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND IT'S BASICALLY THE SWIMMING ANIME EQUIVALENT OF I LOVE YOU

4. when sousuke told rin about the shoulder injury he was literally so devastated because his love couldn't follow his passions anymore,, AND WHEN SOUSUKE RECOVERED FROM THE SURGERY RIN LEGIT CRIED HAPPY TEARS!!! and sousuke was always there for rin w/e he had a slump bc he compared himself too much to haru and others,,, like gods they care so much for each other

5. sousuke is the earth and rin is the fire,,, AND RIN LIGHTS A FIRE IN SOUSUKE WHILE SOUSUKE GROUNDS RIN LIKE PLEASE THE MOTIFS ARE LITERALLY RIGHT THERE EVEN IN THEIR COLOUR SCHEMES (teal + maroon) 

in short: sourin supremacy because these two bois are so perfect for each other"

#friends to lovers tournament #a3! #a3! act! addict! actors! #free! #fuyupoly #sourin #tsumugi tsukioka #tasuku takato #hisoka mikage #homare arisugawa #azuma yukishiro #guy nishiki #matsuoka rin #yamazaki sousuke #polls #tournament polls

[pumpkzsafeplace]

anon question 💌: agere & trauma. trauma can be caused by an array of different circumstances, and can effect anyone and everyone in their own way. but to care for another whose struggling with trauma and triggers can be difficult, so here are some pumpkin tips for you <3.

know that they're trying. ⭐

sometimes when the dynamic is going rough and nothing is matching perfectly, it's hard to see one anothers small victories. being traumatised doesn't just heal over night, despite peoples best wishes and it takes a lot of time to better yourself and be the version of yourself you want to be. sometimes relapses happen, and sometimes it may seem like they're not trying to get better- when in the bigger scheme of things, they've only relasped twice this month when before they used to relaspe every day. it's hard to see progression when it's minor, but just know that it is happening, slowly but surely. and understand that it is incredibly hard sometimes, but you will make it through to the other side together <3.

❀•°❀°•❀ take baby steps 🌙

babysteps are such an important things when you're with someone or looking after someone who is still healing. sometimes they can't do the 'normal' things that you may be able to, and that can be a little confusing sometimes & that's okay! babysteps let the two of you grow and understand each other more, you can learn each others boundaries and triggers and even each others body langaue. and sure enough you will reach that destination together! which will feel 100% better i can promise you! <3

❀•°❀°•❀

have code words ⭐

something that seems silly but helped me & my daddy so so much when we were in the early stages of our dynamic & stuff was code words. code words not only work within your safe enviornment but in the ouside world too. we've created code words for my little space & for my meltdowns, and it helps daddy know what's exactly wrong with me & quickly too which helps both of us in that situation <3.

❀•°❀°•❀

setbacks happen, and that's okay. 🌙

setbacks & bad days will happen. every good days come with bad days, and that's okay! the way daddy used to comfort me was by saying that setbacks where bound to happen when your mind starts realising all the big progress you're doing. just remember that you can win this and you can be better, we just have to keep pushing, even on those difficult days. maybe plan a fun day that makes them happy, watch their favourite movies, take them to their favourite place, by them a plushie to cheer them up on bad days- anything to engage that fighting spirit back & to allow the two of you to keep pushing forward <3.

❀•°❀°•❀

celebrate the small victories. ⭐

acknowledging the small victories is extremly benifical and uplifting- especially on those darker days <3. even holding small celebrations for completing little milestones will make them not only open up a little bit easier, but also make them feel a little safer with you. i know personally that it was rocky with me & daddy at the start of our dynamic because i was treated horribly in the past and was extremly sensitive to other people. so he made a check list of accomplishments that we would challenge to do, some as simple as eating outisde & you know what we struggled a little bit but we didn't give up and got to celebrate those little moments! <3

❀•°❀°•❀ you've got this, i promise! <3🌙

healing is a long journey and it takes people a little bit longer to cross the finish line than others, but that's okay <3. you know what works best for your dynamic and you know what works best for your little/cg in general so stick to that. maybe do some research around their triggering topics to help, or even research into the trauma itself <3. no one expects you to be perfect, you are allowed to feel emotions too. just remember that you're in this together, and it may take you longer than others but you will finish that finish line together <3.

gif isn't mine

#sfw age regression #safe agere #sfw little community #sfw agere #agere little #sfw little post #agere community #age regression #agere blog #sfw little blog #age regressive #agere #agere lifestyle #age regressor #age regression caregiver #age re safe space #age re blog #sfw regression #agere post #agere caregiver #sfw blog #sfw little stuff #sfw furry #sfw interaction only #sfw littlespace #ageregression #sfw caregiver #caregiverlife #little community

[twig-tea]

Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

I was tagged by @sorry-bonebag and @bengiyo (thank you both!). It's funny to see so many folks talk about not having 10, when I had trouble narrowing it down 🤣 So, here are shows I've reached for for comfort recently, in no particular order:

Until We Meet Again. Listen, I get that it's depressing, but it also ends and mends the intergenerational trauma set up in the first 15 minutes, and in the Dean/Pharm storyline the show queues up typical drama problems just for everything to be fine, it is SO comforting. And if I need to cry, ep1 part 1 will get me there, guaranteed.

Azumanga Daioh. This show...is so weird lol. It's a 20-year-old anime at an all-girls high school. There is a 10-year-old prodigy, a weirdo transfer student, a butch beauty, a simp, a loud class clown...it's not exactly GL because the girl who has a massive crush on her classmate never does anything about it and that's not really the plot. There is no actual plot, it's extremely slice-of-life except when it ventures into absurdity. It's extremely quiet and chill for this reason. The stakes are so low!

Star Trek: The Original Series. Like Ben, I am a Star Trek fan forever. TOS is my favourite and I've rewatched... a lot. Rather than the stakes being low, they're high but everyone is exceptionally competent and can solve impossible situations. And I really, deeply love the problem-of-the-week style storytelling and found family vibes.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? Everyone already knows this one, it's so good. Their relationship is so wonderful and the food is delicious and inspiring. In this show, things aren't perfect and that's ok, and I get deep comfort out of that.

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line. I love a sports anime, and this hits the key notes: you have to have love for the game and play with integrity and with your team in mind, and never give up on your dream. And this installation was pretty short, so easy to binge.

Our Dating Sim. This is recent but I've already decided to go back and rewatch this rather than start something new at least twice, so I'm counting it. Something about how these two settle into the friends to lovers dynamic is just delightful their familiarity and ease transfers to me through the screen.

Ingredients the series. Everyone calls this our pandemic comfort commercial for a reason. I have rewatched it a LOT. It is incredibly domestic and very chill, and once again full of good food. It helps that the episodes are so short so again, it's an easy binge.

Avatar: The Last Airbender (series). Another one that lands on multiple people's lists. This show is incredible and has such good character arcs. I will never get over how perfect the change in Zuko was handled. This one is partially comforting because of how long it's been in my life and how many times I've watched it, but also the found family vibes and the problem of the week format once again is very comforting to me.

Love Sick. I know. But it is the first BL I saw, and it stuck with me. I usually skip around the BL cut when I go back to this (which I still do). Pun and Noh spend a lot of time together in silence or with the OSTs playing, and do a lot of talking in body language and eye contact. Even though they're young and awkward and things are unresolved for so long, when they're together just the two of them this show (and their relationship) is easy and comforting.

60s Batman. There are several sitcoms that I would watch an episode or two if it's on (Frasier, the Nanny, Third Rock from the Sun, Golden Girls, Schitt's Creek), but the Adam West Batman is just... incredible. It is so silly. It is so earnest. It was ahead of its time. And once again, that problem of the week storytelling with incredibly competent characters is deeply comforting to me.

[Also shout-out to sorry-bonebag's Taskmaster mention because i have definitely rewatched it a bunch too!]

Tagging @italianpersonwithashippersheart @callipigio @my-rose-tinted-glasses @chickenstrangers @justafriend-ql @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @visualtaehyun @solitarywandering @thewayofsubtext @respectthepetty no pressure as always!

#tag game #thanks for the tag! #until we meet again #uwma #azumanga daioh #star trek #st: tos #what did you eat yesterday? #kinou nani tabeta #history 2: crossing the line #our dating sim #ingredients the series #ingredients #avatar: the last airbender #love sick the series #love sick #batman #batman 66

[lilacartsmadsion]

I am scared to talk about this, and have been for a while.

Am I really the asshole in this situation? Am I really racist and fucked up for headcanon-ing berserk cacao as a (sort of) mindless beast? Because I am actually beginning to believe so.

I and some others are being harassed for having different interpretations of Berserk Cacao.

Let me explain

Basically I was banned from RiverArts server about my fic about Berserk cacao eating pomegranate, which I deleted when I understood how fucked up it was, and understandably they felt uncomfortable.

But then they went as far as to post it on twitter, without censoring me and the other 14 YEAR OLD’S names, and basically ‘expose’ me and @cakehoundsyndrome and their friend for their supposed ‘racism’ towards cacao. And these are basically adults. Also, I just need to call out the hypocrisy of River for a second that @randomspagetti also made a point on in twitter, is that they got mad at @cakehoundsyndrome for making licorice be abused in their past when they did the same to wildberry.

And also, most people on twitter agreed with Minty0oz and RiverArt in calling us racist and saying we’re fucked up and saying we’ve crossed the line.

I believe the line was crossed when you all decided to harass 14 year olds.

And may I add, we have apologised so many times, but they have actively ignored them and chose to keep harassing us.

Please..I need you and @kotymeaw’s opinion.

Ahem-

Although I do respect those who actively try and actively promote portraying black people as monsters being bad,

However I will say a few things…

1.) Do not harass 14 year olds OR MINORS, for headcanoning something that they did not know was wrong.

I would like to remind you that some of us 14 year olds were not accustomed to racial representation in our early lives, some of us are not aware there are DO’s and DONT’s when it comes to racial representation. Therefore as the ADULTS in the situation, you should know better than to actively bully and harass a minor for their mistakes and behavior. That does not do them good in the future.

(Speaking from someone who was ACTIVELY BULLIED FOR HAVING AN OPINION OR BEING HERSELF IN REAL LIFE TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE TOLD ME ‘DO NOT BE FRIENDS SHE’S BAD’ TO MY FACE! I WAS A FUCKING CHILD, IT DID NOT HELP ME AT ALL I WAS BULLIED INTO FUCKING INTENSE SOCIAL ANXIETY)

Harassing people for making mistakes even after they apologize and try their damnest to make a mistake. (AND HAVING AN APOLOGY THAT IS BETTER THAN COLLEEN.) WILL NOT turn them into a better person, perhaps, you’ll turn them out for the worst.

What if you harass someone for that and they never put racial representation in their works again because their scared of getting it wrong? That can happen.

Especially if you harass MINORS, most of the time minors are still children, they still need to grow on their own pace, trying to teach them through bullying and harassment won’t help them, it will only make them worse or make them disappear off the face of the fucking planet.

2.) Berserk Cacao has not been confirmed to be a derivative of his trauma nor was it derived from Pomegranate’s spell.

Pomegrante’s spell might have activated it, BUT-! She lost control of the spell THEN Cacao went Berserk.

The moment Cacao RESISTED Pomegranate lost control of the spell and Cacao went Berserk, causing him to lose control as well.

Berserk Cacao is only created by Cacao’s sheer will and need to defend himself, not a result of his trauma. Pomegranate remarks ‘Is this the power of the Soul Jam?’ Meaning even she underestimated how powerful Cacao was.

I want you to remember that Cacao has the powers of A GOD in his hands, the Ancients are canonically OP as fuck. Cacao ‘Split the Day and Night’ in his story when fighting dragons, Pure Vanilla sealed a WHOLE ASS KINGDOM WITH HIS SHEER MIGHT ALONE WITHOUT ANY SOUL JAM! Hollyberry can SINGLE HANDEDLY DEAL WITH ANY DRAGON.

So in lore technically yes, Cacao can resist Pomegranate’s mind spell. It’s just a misconception that Pomegranate had control over the situation.

Berserk Cacao was not created by trauma, he was created as a defensive mechanism from Cacao’s sheer will alone. However, Cacao mindlessly attacked because he thought he was in incredible danger, he started attacking his subjects, the main crew and even Pomegranate herself the cookie who they said WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION was scared of Cacao.

And this is a power established by the Soul Jam.

(Look, I’m an overthinker, and though I am currently procrastinating on the lore of CRK, I did NOT procrastinate on a whole lore about the damn Soul Jam because damnit do I need it for my own fanfic, wanna know why I joined this darn fandom, FOR THE LORE AND FOR THE THEORIES SO YOU CAN CALL ME MATPAT FOR ALL I CARE!)

Again…

Please DO NOT HARASS 14 year olds for their mistakes it is your job as adults to GUIDE THEM.

I don’t care if you’re 16 or 15 YOU ARE THEIR SENIOR YOU ARE THEIR ELDEST YOU ARE THEIR EXAMPLE YOU DO NOT HARASS THEM.

Because they’re either gonna destroy themselves or others. Who knows they might learn to harass others everytime they do something wrong.

Why am I saying this? That’s literally my role in real life, I am an elder sister of one. And she gets into a lot of toxic people in her life. If I see you doing this again, Be sure I’ll make you feel a taste of your own medicine and dig up some old wounds.

DO NOT HARASS MINORS, you adults SHOULD KNOW BETTER. You are the adults, they are the teenagers. You are supposed to be teachers, guides and examples for them, NOT THE SOURCE OF THEIR PAIN. BE BETTER EXAMPLES.

#cookie run kingdom #dark cacao cookie #berserk cacao #important #pls stop harassing 14 year old even though they did #they made a MISTAKE and apologized don’t get carried away

[littlesoka7567]

It's Not Your Fault Ch. 2

Summary:

“If it was Omega, would you say it’s not a big deal?” Echo asks softly, shifting his weight. “If it was Crosshair, or me, or anyone else?” Hunter works his jaw, looking to the sleeping pair in annoyance. “I’m not Omega.” “No, you aren’t. You’re Hunter, our sergeant and our brother. We care about you, and we worry about you, the same way we all worry about each other.”

Notes: Progress is being made by all batchers!!

Warnings: Whump, trauma, major injuries, issues with eating, probably inaccurate medical discussions.

Rating/WC: T/4450 words

~~~

Tech is curled up again, tapping slowly at his datapad. Wrecker is still asleep, unmoving. He walks past both of them, striding over to Crosshair’s bed. 

Cross looks up from Omega, watching Hunter. His mouth is set in a displeased frown; he isn’t buying the act either. “Sorry about that, Omega. I’m back now. Are you hungry?”

Omega pries her face away from Crosshair’s chest, looking up at him. She nods, wiggling her way out of Crosshair’s arms and taking his hand again. 

“Hunter,” Cross drawls, right as Hunter is about to lead them out. 

Hunter looks up, forcing a smile. “Did you need anything?”

Crosshair doesn’t respond for several seconds, before he sighs and stands. “I want to go too.”

Hunter blinks in surprise, but nods quickly. “Yeah-yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

Echo comes back in and sits at the chair beside Tech, watching the trio leave. Hunter pointedly ignores them both.

The mess hall on this ship is always half deserted, but never fully. Most of the people who use this rebel ship don’t use it as a home base, only as an HQ. It houses mostly rogue clones like Rex, refugees from the Empire that don’t have their own ships, and the occasional leaders of the rebellion who never want to stray too far from home base. Everyone else simply visits, or comes in for missions only. 

Today, it is thankfully almost completely empty. There is a set of high ranking rebels discussing plans in low voices in the corner, and a few clones littered around which Hunter doesn’t recognize, all sitting by themselves. Perfect.

Hunter leads them to the mess line, using one hand to lead Omega and the other to scoop food onto his own and Omega’s trays. Crosshair follows silently, looking over his shoulder an almost worrying number of times. Hunter wonders if it’s simple paranoia, or if Crosshair is hearing something that isn’t real. 

“Can you hold your own tray?” Hunter asks Omega softly, making sure his voice doesn’t carry. He can already feel curious eyes of the fellow clones watching over them, and he wants to minimize Omega and Crosshair’s discomfort as much as he can. 

Omega nods, grabbing it. He balances his own tray and leads them to an empty table by a wall. He sits down with his back to the rest of the mess hall, allowing Cross to have the peace of mind that comes with a covered back. If anyone were to approach them, Hunter would hear it long before they got there. 

They eat in silence for a long while, Omega’s left hand on his right elbow, moving with him every time he has to move his arm to get another bite. Which isn’t often; he’s more concerned with making sure she eats her own tray, and watching Crosshair out of the corner of his eye. 

“Hunter,” Crosshair murmurs, voice low but on edge. “Is that person staring at us?”

Hunter looks up from Omega’s tray, looking around the room to find the person Cross is talking about. “Where do you see them? There’s no one looking at us.”

“Oh,” Crosshair says, and Hunter turns just in time to see him looking away from the entrance down at his plate. 

“Do they look different?” Hunter asks, turning to encourage Omega to take another bite before looking back at Crosshair. “The people in your hallucinations?”

“No,” Cross answers shortly, stabbing another bite and chewing slowly as Hunter waits for elaboration. “If I could tell the difference, I wouldn’t have to ask, would I?”

Hunter chews on the inside of his cheek for a minute, doing his best to not show his annoyance. “They’ll go away eventually,” Hunter clips, turning his attention back to Omega. “Once all the drugs are out of your system completely and the detox stage is over.”

Omega puts her fork down, looking up at Hunter and then to his tray. 

“How much longer will they last, medic Hunter?” Crosshair drawls, sarcasm dripping from every word. “It’s already been a week.”

“I don’t know,” Hunter says, scooping some food onto his own fork and letting it hover just above his tray. “The actual medic said it can take a few weeks or even a month to completely detox, due to the levels of the drug in your system. It was a lot.”

Omega taps his wrist, and Hunter sighs and forces the bite into his mouth. He puts his fork down, trying to chew through the nausea and not let it get to him. It’s just food, his body is made to consume it; why can’t he just eat it like he used to?

“So I could still have another two or three weeks of this?” Crosshair hisses, gripping his own fork hard enough it turns white. 

“Yes,” Hunter says, because Echo is the optimistic one and if Crosshair wanted optimism he would have eaten in the medbay like he usually does. “But they’ll get easier to handle and further apart in appearance every day.”

Cross slams his fork on the table with a bang, and Omega whimpers and throws herself into Hunter’s side. Hunter just wraps an arm around her, pulling her closer and trying to make her feel as safe as possible. “Sorry, Omega, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Cross murmurs, looking down in shame and wrapping his arms around himself. 

“I think it might be time to head back anyway,” Hunter says softly, petting Omega's hair to coax her out of his side. “It’s okay Omega, it was just Crosshair. Nothing scary. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

“You haven’t eaten much,” Crosshair says, looking between Omega and Hunter’s tray.

“Not hungry,” Hunter replies without thought, smiling when Omega pulls her face away to look up at Hunter. “There you are. Ready to go back to the room?”

Omega nods, looking around to reassure herself where she is before grabbing onto Hunter’s hand.

“Do you ever eat?” Crosshair asks, narrowing his eyes. “Because you don’t eat with us in the medbay. When you take Omega here do you just watch her eat and then take her back?”

Hunter shoots him a look, before helping Omega stand. He stacks their trays so he can carry it on one hand, and stands up himself. “I’m not hungry right now, Crosshair, just drop it.”

Crosshair takes the trays from him, glaring at him as he pushes past to walk in front. Instead of taking it to the trash like Hunter was going to, he simply walks out of the room and starts heading towards the medbay. 

Hunter sighs, looking down at Omega with a tired smile. “Do you want to go see Tech and Echo, or go to our quarters to take a nap?”

He had hoped the question would encourage her to speak, but she simply shrugs and holds his hand in a death grip. 

“Okay. Let’s go check on the boys first, at least.” Hunter leads the way, and the walk there is uneventful. There aren’t many people milling about, and there are no loud and sudden noises. 

He opens the door to the medbay and frowns when he sees Echo and Crossair whispering in the far corner, Crosshair gesturing with the tray of food every once and a while. “Everything alright?” he calls, just loud enough to be heard but not so loud it scares Omega.

Echo looks over, a deep and disapproving frown in place. He walks over and smiles down at Omega, patting her head softly. “You look tired, Omega. Why don’t you curl up with Crosshair and help the both of you get a couple hours of sleep?”

Omega’s heart starts to quicken, and she looks to Hunter with wide eyes. 

“I’ll be here,” he promises, squeezing her hand. “All of us will be right here.”

Omega clings to his arm, biting her lip as she looks between Crosshair and Echo. 

“It’s okay, Omega. Hunter will stay here the whole time and none of us will let anything happen to you. I promise.” Echo brushes some hair behind her ear, and Omega leans into the touch. 

Crosshair has put the tray down and crawled into the medical cot, settling down for a nap he probably won’t take if Omega isn’t there with him.

Omega takes a deep breath, and slowly lets go of Hunter’s hand. She looks up at him, and Hunter smiles reassuringly at her. “I won’t leave the room, I promise.”

Omega nods slowly, and then quickly makes her way across the room. Crosshair lifts the blanket and she dives in, cuddling into his side and turning to face Hunter and Echo. Crosshair puts a protective arm over her, and closes his eyes to either pretend or actually try to fall asleep. 

Echo waits for Omega’s eyes to shut and her yawning to stop, before turning to Hunter. “Have you not been eating?”                                  

Hunter sighs in annoyance. “I have been eating, just not a lot all at once. Look, I’m sorry I blew up at you guys earlier; you don’t have to start keeping tabs on me and worrying. You all have enough to worry about as it is.”

Echo frowns deeply, crossing his arms over his chest. “Hunter, we all take care of each other. It’s not your job alone to take care of us, and it isn’t your job to neglect yourself.”

“I’m fine!” Hunter hisses, careful to keep his voice low enough the others won’t hear. “I’m not hurt; I didn’t get blown up, I didn’t get shot, I didn’t break my back or hit my head, I wasn’t tortured. Nothing happened to me, I’m fine.”

“You have survivor's guilt,” Echo argues, and holds his hand up when Hunter starts to argue. “No, don’t. You know what I mean. You’re punishing yourself and blaming yourself because you didn’t get injured when the rest of us did. And that makes you feel guilty, so you’re torturing yourself and hurting yourself to ‘make up for it’.” He uses air quotes on the last part, and Hunter scowls at him. “It isn’t your fault you didn’t get hurt, and it isn’t your fault we did. It’s not your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself, to stop hurting yourself, if you really want to help us.”

Hunter shakes his head. “I’m not hurting myself, Echo. I just wasn’t hungry. It happens from time to time. You’re both blowing this way out of proportion.”

“Crosshair said that the only time you took a bite was when Omega encouraged you to,” Echo argues. 

“Because I’m not hungry,” Hunter says, feeling so very tired suddenly. “It’s not deep, there’s no hidden cry for help in it. I’m just not hungry. I eat when I’m hungry, I promise.”

“Why aren’t you hungry?” Echo challenges. “Are you getting sick?”

“No, I’m just-” Hunter sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know why. Sometimes when I eat I’m fine, I finish a whole plate. Sometimes I’m only hungry enough for half, sometimes less. Sometimes I get nauseous when I’m eating so I don’t eat more than a couple bites. It’s not a big deal, it only happens every once and a while.”

“If it was Omega, would you say it’s not a big deal?” Echo asks softly, shifting his weight. “If it was Crosshair, or me, or anyone else. Would you still say it’s not a big deal if Omega was skipping meals or only eating half?”

Hunter works his jaw, looking to the sleeping pair in annoyance. “I’m not Omega.”

“No, you aren’t. You’re Hunter, our sergeant and our brother. We care about you, and we worry about you, the same way we all worry about each other.”

Hunter rubs at his temple, wishing he had some caf right now. A nap doesn’t sound all that bad, if he’s being honest. If he could close his eyes without seeing everything he’s trying to escape. “You don’t need to worry about me, Echo. I’m fine, I just-”

Echo suddenly moves to stand in front of Hunter’s line of sight, and he looks angrier than Hunter has seen from him in a very long time. “Hunter, how are you supposed to protect us if you’re half dead?”

Hunter’s eyes widen, and he staggers a step backwards. “Echo-”

“No, tell me. If Omega is in danger, how are you going to save her if you’re weak from exhaustion and hunger? How are you going to tell Crosshair his hallucinations aren’t real if you can’t keep your eyes open long enough to tell? How are you going to help with Tech’s physical therapy if you aren’t strong enough to hold his weight?” Echo steps closer, and Hunter feels like an animal being hunted. “Tell me, Hunter. How is you killing yourself going to help you do your job? How will that benefit us?”

Hunter turns away from Echo, from his accusatory stare, breathing heavily as he glares at the floor. “I’m fine.” 

“For now,” Echo says, letting Hunter have that. “What about in a week from now? Two? What about a month from now, when you haven’t eaten or slept or worked out or done anything except look after us? You wanna know what you’ll look like? Just look at Crosshair.”

Hunter balls his hands into fists, feeling the nausea return. “Kark off.”

Echo scoffs, placing his hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “You’re only saying that because you know I’m right. You’ll be too weak to protect us soon, you’re working yourself down to the bone. You have to take care of yourself if you want to keep protecting us long term.”

Hunter finally turns back to Echo, his whole body shaking. He’s almost at another breakdown, he can feel it. And he doesn’t want to do that to any of them again. “What if something happens when I’m asleep? What if I go take a shower, and she needs me?”

Echo finally gives him a sad smile, his anger seeming to drain away. “Then we can take care of it. You’ll be down the hall, not across the galaxy. If we need you, you’ll be a few seconds away. Isn’t a few hours where you’re asleep better than you being awake but too exhausted to do anything?”

Hunter looks to Omega and Crosshair over Echo’s shoulder, sighing deeply. “I don’t…”

“You’re worrying her,” Echo says softly, making Hunter look at him. “She knows you aren’t okay, and it’s giving her unnecessary anxiety. Us, too, you know. You’re stressing me out.” Hunter flinches away from the accusation, looking down in guilt. “All you have to do is take care of yourself too, and that’ll stop. It’ll help all of us get better.”

Hunter runs a hand over his face, and finally nods. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I get it now.”

Echo smiles, clapping Hunter’s shoulder gently. He politely doesn’t say about time or point out how many ways he had to say it before Hunter accepted it. “Good. So you’ll take care of yourself?”

Hunter nods, wrapping his arms over his chest and sniffing once. “When she wakes up, I’ll let you and Cross distract her for a while so I can shower. I’ll grab something to eat and then I’ll-I’ll figure out how to sleep. Maybe we can all stay in here together and…I dunno. I’ll figure it out.”

“I’ll get some sleep after your shower, and when it’s your turn, I’ll keep Omega in here and you can sleep in the room. Away from the beeping and potential of being woken up by nightmares. I’ll watch her the whole time.”

“I don’t know if she’ll be able to sleep without me beside her,” Hunter mumbles. “She can barely exist without holding onto me.”

“She’s going to have to learn how eventually, Hunter. If she’s going to recover from what she’s been through, she’s going to have to do some difficult and scary things sometimes. But we’ll be here to help her through them, and she will get better.” Echo squeezes Hunter’s shoulder, before dropping his hand. “Your tray is still over there, if you want to try and finish it now. Then you can shower when she wakes up and I can get my own sleep in.”

Hunter sighs, looking at the tray. “I wasn’t putting on a brave face when it comes to that, I really don’t feel hungry.”

“Eat anyway,” Echo shrugs. 

Hunter sighs and goes over to the tray, forcing himself to swallow every last bite. It tastes like shit, and he has to fight the urge to throw it all back up, but he gets through it. 

It’s only a few minutes after he finishes eating that Omega’s eyes blink open. She finds Hunter quickly, and seems to relax immediately. 

“Hey, kid,” he murmurs softly, not wanting to wake up Crosshair if he’s actually asleep. “How ya feeling?”

She nods and sleepily gives him a thumbs up. 

“I finished my breakfast while you were asleep,” he tells her, pointing to his empty tray. She smiles at him, seemingly genuinely happy that he’s eaten. “When Cross wakes up, I…”

Echo comes over, having seen that she woke up too. “Me and Cross are gonna stay with you in here, with Tech and Wrecker, and Hunter is gonna take a quick shower, okay?” Omega’s eyes widen, and her breath starts to come quicker. “‘Cause he stinks really bad, doesn’t he?”

It startles a laugh out of her, and she looks to Crosshair to make sure she didn’t wake him up. But she laughed. She laughed, and Hunter was starting to wonder if she ever would again, but she did. She laughed. At his expense, sure, but he doesn’t even care. 

Echo grins at her, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. “And if that goes well, and you’re not scared, we might even let Hunter take his own little nap later in our room, while you sleep in here with us. You can even pick who you bunk up with, yeah? You could try to sleep in Crosshair’s cot again, or you could try in my cot over there. Just to try it out, ‘cause I wasn’t there either, right? So if you wake up, you’ll see me, and you can still know that you’re safe.”

Omega worries her lip between her teeth, looking between Hunter and Echo. “‘Cause Hunter can’t sleep when I’m there?” she asks softly. 

“No,” Hunter denies immediately, but Echo holds up his hand to stop Hunter.

“He struggles to sleep, because he wants to make sure you’re okay and you don’t need him. I think that if he knew you were taken care of, and that me and Cross were here to help if you needed anything, he could sleep a bit easier. He’s just overprotective, is all. It’s not because you’re there.”

Omega swallows thickly, but nods slowly. “Will you take me back to him if I…”

Echo nods quickly. “We’ll go peek in on him as many times as you want. But hopefully you won’t need to, ‘cause you’ll be asleep.”

Omega nods again, looking to Crosshair’s face again before looking back at Hunter. “You can go shower now, if you want,” she says, and then her heart speeds up and she grips the blanket over them tightly. “But-but a fast one, please.”

Hunter smiles at her, putting his hand over hers. “You won’t even miss me, that’s how fast I’ll be,” he promises. 

Echo nods to Hunter, and grabs a stool to sit next to their bed. “Thank you, Hunter,” he whispers, and pats Hunter’s arm as he stands.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promises, patting Echo’s shoulder and heading towards the ‘fresher.

~

Hunter had trouble after the shower, feeling his exhaustion hit him in full force. He ate half of lunch and all of his dinner, keeping Omega awake and mostly entertained with the help of Crosshair. That part wasn’t hard; the hard part was taking care of Tech without the help of Echo. 

Tech doesn’t blame Echo, he doesn’t get annoyed with everything Echo does. He doesn’t fight being fed by Echo like he does with Hunter. He lets Echo sit next to him and even hold his hand, he doesn’t push Echo away and ignore him in favor of his datapad. 

Crosshair took pity on him at some point, telling Hunter that he was having trouble with hearing things and wanted help. When Hunter had gotten over there, he whispered to Hunter that he would watch Tech and if he needed something he'd just let Hunter know. 

But finally, Echo wakes up and comes back, checking on Tech for a few minutes before walking over to where Hunter and Omega and Cross are. “Hey, guys,” he says softly. 

Hunter smiles at him and nods. “Echo. Did you get enough sleep?”

“Yeah,” he says, smiling back. “Everything okay in here?”

“Tech’s eaten, Wrecker hasn’t changed, me and Cross and Omega ate in the mess. Everything is going fine, all things considered.” Hunter stands up and stretches, looking back at Omega sleepily. “Are you sure you’re willing to try this, Omega?”

Omega bites her lip and looks between him and Echo, who’s nodding at her encouragingly. She looks very nervous, but she finally nods and looks back to Hunter. “I can try. And-and I can come get you if I-”

“Of course,” Hunter is quick to reassure, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You can get me as soon as you need me, okay? I’ll be a minute away the whole time.”

“But we won’t need you,” Echo promises, squeezing Hunter’s shoulder. “Because Omega is going to do great, and she’ll fall asleep quick and she won’t even notice you aren’t here.”

Hunter smiles at them both, and then sighs softly. “Okay. Can you go check on Tech, and I’ll say goodnight?” Echo nods, shooting Omega one more reassuring smile. Hunter turns back to Omega. “He’s right, you know. Crosshair will be here the whole time, and so will Echo and Tech.” And Wrecker, but he doesn’t feel like pointing that out will help. “I promise, you’ll be just fine.”

Omega sniffles but nods, crawling into Crosshair’s arms who had been watching silently. “Sleep well, Hunter,” she whispers softly. 

“You too, Omega. Night, Cross,” he says, nodding to him. 

“Goodnight, Hunter,” Crosshair mumbles. 

Hunter turns and checks on Wrecker once more, making sure he’s still out and stable. He sighs and starts to head to the door. 

“Hunter?” Echo asks, and Hunter turns to him where he’s looking after Tech. “Can you come here a second?”

Hunter hesitates, but nods and detours to Tech’s bed. “What’s up?”

Echo looks to Tech, nodding at him encouragingly. Tech sighs and holds out his datapad, looking at Hunter expectantly. “He’s been working on this all day. He wants you to read it before you go to bed, but not in here.”

“Hm,” Hunter says, looking down at it. It’s still hovering over the instructions he gave Echo. “Okay,” he says, rubbing his thumb along the side of the device. He looks back up, smiling sadly at Tech. “I’ll read it.” 

Tech nods once, before looking to Echo and signing get down to indicate he’s ready to lay down and sleep. 

Hunter nods to them both and starts off towards their private quarters. He sits on his bed after locking the door, staring at the datapad without scrolling through it. He doesn’t know if he wants to read it, doesn’t know if he can handle it tonight. He’s so tired. 

But he said he would, so he sighs and rubs a hand over his face before scrolling past the instructions. 

I am very angry with you, Hunter. 

Hunter lets out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes. He wants to say that’s enough for tonight, but he said he would. He said he would. Okay. 

I am very angry with you, Hunter. I could not figure out why I was so angry at first. It has taken a lot of thinking and self reflection. Luckily, this past week has given me nothing but time to think and self reflect. (That was mostly a joke). At first, I thought I was angry at you because I blamed you for what happened to me. But I do not, and have never, blamed you for what happened. I made a calculated decision based on the information I had at the time, and given the chance to go back to that exact moment and try again, I would choose to do the same thing. Therefore, you cannot be blamed. 

Then I began to wonder if I was mad at you despite this realization. I came to my conclusion earlier today when you looked at me the way you had been while doing my tests. Yes, I was still angry with you, and the feeling was very intense. 

When Crosshair brought up that you have not been taking care of yourself, and you yelled at him about how everything was your fault, I finally figured it out. I am angry with you because I am angry that you blame yourself so thoroughly. We are a team, and we are all equals. You have said so, many times before. So why are you keeping all the blame for yourself when we all made our own decisions? I chose to shoot the car. Crosshair chose to warn us instead of fleeing and saving himself. You and Echo and Wrecker all chose to come back and save us, no matter the potential consequences, such as getting hurt. We made our own decisions, you did not make them for us. 

Echo has told me what happened with Omega, as well. And even her capture was a result of her own decisions; her decision to leave the room you hid her inside and try and rescue you. That was her choice, and her consequences. If she had done what you told her to do, she would not have been captured. 

You blaming yourself is what makes me so angry. If you put half as much effort into helping us recover as you did in feeling guilty, we would all be cured by now. 

Take a nap and reread this if you need to. But stop spending so much time blaming yourself for the past and spend more time on helping us all get to the future. 

Hunter has to reread it three times before he’s sure he’s read it right. Then he puts it down and lays down, staring up at the ceiling. He decides to take Tech’s advice-he’ll take a nap, and then think about it again when he wakes up.

#the bad batch #hunter bad batch #tech bad batch #echo bad batch #omega bad batch #crosshair bad batch #my writing #fanfic #tw: whump #tw: injury #tw: major injuries #tw: trauma

[zhongrin]

𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 𝑒𝓉𝒾𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒

❝ 𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗏𝗂𝖼𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌! 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖿𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝖾𝖾𝗉 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝗈𝗋𝖽𝖾𝗋. ❞

𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬

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𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

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✼ tone indicators are required if we're not close, especially if you say stuff like "i'll kms" / "i want to die" / (insert degrading nicknames e.g. bitch, slut, etc. as 'endearment').

✼ i block freely and believe that i have the right to do so for a lot of reasons. you might be in my dni. i might be in your dni. you might be blatantly ignoring my rules. i might not vibe well with you or you make me uncomfortable. i might suspect that you're lying about your age. these aren't an exhaustive list. if i do block you, just ignore or block me back and move on.

✼ i appreciate every comments and reblogs on my work. please know that i read all of them even if i can't reply to them all.

© zhongrin

#byf #dni #rules #navi