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#but either way.... yea i think he view relationships as special
summerssover · 8 days
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𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐔𝐬 ⊹ ִֶָ ❲ 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦!𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬❳
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘, in which you save your relationship with chris because of his brothers trying to break you up
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆, chris x toxic!reader, chris x poc!reader
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒, angst, language, crying, manipulation, arguing
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▐ ❝ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐮𝐬 ❞
𓏲 🎀🎱 𓂃 ✦ 💒
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“yo, quick question”, chris announced to get his brothers attention.
nick and matt turned their heads towards chris, noticing his distraught facial expression, almost instantly sending them into a worry as well.
nick was the first to speak up, “what’s up”
“um”, chris scratched the back of his neck, looking for words that couldn’t make him sound like a complete idiot. “could yall come look at this”
as chris held up his phone the two triplets got up from where they’d normally lounge on the couch to get a closer view of his phone. chris watched in anticipation while his older brothers eyes scanned through the heated text messages between him and his girlfriend, frightened at what they’re reaction might be.
“wow”, was all matt said and nick followed with a simple “hmm”, causing chris to sigh and drag his hands down his face.
“am i cooked or what?”
matt nor nick knew what to tell the boy. this wasn’t the first time chris would come to them for advice, in fact this wasn’t even the tenth time. between you and chris they couldn’t tell who was more of the problem here, you would vent to nick about chris, chris would try to vent to nick but gets upset when nick already knows your side, so goes to matt only to find out that nick’s already told him too, and it’s the same shit every other week.
“i don’t know, just call her or something, that usually works”, nick patted his brother’s shoulder and went back to whatever was on the tv at the time.
matt followed nicks actions before stating, “yea, she’ll probably be over here in a little bit anyways”
“what so you guys don’t care either, how the fuck does anyone except a relationship to work if no one seems to care but me”, chris raised his voice as the blood started to rush within him. no matter who it was, he felt like all anyone ever did was brush him to the side and disregard anything he had to say. you were the only person who didn’t make him feel that way, even his brother did it from time to time but he knew he could always count on you to treat him like he was special. at least he thought he could. both brothers stared, appalled at the words that left chris’s mouth.
“sorry? since when were me and matt in a relationship with you guys”, nick exclaimed.
“you know what i mean”
“do you know what he means?”, matt budded in. he was so fed up with all of this, it was actually his breaking point. “i don’t even know why you’re still putting up with this shit, are you not tried?”
“tired of what?” chris looked at matt then to nick for some form of help as to what was going on now.
“shut the fuck up matt”, nick let out a breath while thinking of the right thing to say to their mess of a brother right now.
“listen we absolutely adore yn, she’s one of our closest friends, love her very dearly. we also love that you were able to find someone but like don’t you see the pattern that’s going on here”
he paused for another moment to see if chris was catching on, but to his dismay he wasn’t so he kept going. “how does all this make you feel, how is she making you feel right now?”
“not good—”, nick cut chris of before he could finish his full thought. “not good right, and i’m almost entirely sure that this is not the first time she’s made you feel like this, i’m pretty sure yn feels the same, are you picking up on what i’m saying?”
chris knew exactly what nick was saying he just didn’t want to believe it and he definitely wasn’t going to say it out loud because that would make it true. the more he thought the faster his heart went
“matt what do you think about this”, chris breathed out.
he hesitated before responding. “i don’t think you guys are the best for each other”
“jesus matt”, nick interrupts at matt’s bluntness.
“what, i’m done telling him what he wants to hear”, he turns back to chris and grabs his shoulder, “you guys have been toxic for a while now and it’s only been getting worse, open your fucking eyes kid”
chris just sat there. he could bring himself to say anything, let alone what to think, so he got up and left. once slamming the door he immediately went to your contact, pacing around his room waiting for you to answer. you did on the fifth ring.
“hello”
now that he’d finally got you on the other line he realized that he didn’t even think about what he was going to say, what was the purpose of calling you? “hey”
his voice came out way more wobbly than he expected, like he’d already been crying.
“you feel better now?” you teased.
chris let out a breath before speaking, “yea, can you just please come over here”
“yea, i’m on my way baby”
three beeps sounded from his phone, he threw it on his bed and continued to pace around, thinking about what to say to you. he didn’t want to start a fight but there were things that just had to be discussed. a huge part of him wanted to forget the whole situation and cuddle you once you walked through that door like he normally would in time like this. before he knew it a text appeared on his phone saying that you finally arrived. he didn’t bother to go get you.
you greeted matt and nick as you walked through their door but didn’t stop for small talk, they didn’t expect you to anyways. as you approached the door small sniffing could be heard and once it opened you were met with chris sitting on his bed with his head in his hands causing you to frown. you pulled his arm away and held his head against your stomach.
“what’s the matter baby, you alright?” you spoke softly.
he quickly prepared for what he was about to do next. “we just need to talk for a little”. chris pulled you down to sit on his left thigh so you were facing him.
you wiped the few tears from his cheeks. “about what?”
“about us”. he started to rub your thigh, wanting to provide you with some sort of comfort at the topic.
“oh, ok”
chris decided that the best way to get this over with was to rip the bandage off. “what do you think about our relationship?”
“um we’re.. good, we have our moments from time to time but we always come back”. you defended while running your fingers through the back of his head then placing a soft kiss in his hair.
there was a long wave of loud silence. “nick says we make each other feel bad and matt agrees, he says we’re not good together and this has been going on for longer than we thought. i don’t want to break up with you, but i don’t want to disappoint them and—” he cut himself off from word vomiting while running his fingers through his own hair. 
after a long pause chris stuttering up again, “i don’t know what to do i just want us to be okay”. he was hoping that at least one of you would be the sane one in the conversation but you were just has delusional has he was.
“ok, woah that was a lot to dump on me, are you kidding right now?” you laughed nervously in denial.
“i’m being serious yn, they think we’re toxic” he raised his voice a little as anger stared to bubble up in him.
you got off of his lap and stood in front of him. “what the fuck are you saying chris, your gonna’ let the fate of our relationship be in the hands of your brothers? your a grown ass man babe” you matched his energy plus adding a little of your own.
“they have a point though, we barely see each other so you get all passive and aggressive, i try to fix it by making more time for you and you don’t care, then we’ll make up, but nothing ever changes, sounds familiar?”
“because you don’t want to, what type of boyfriend forces themselves to spend time with their girlfriend and you’ve been so consumed with la that i was pretty sure this relationship was the last thing you thought about” all of this was far too much for chris. so much information was just fed to him in such a short amount of time and the more he dig the deeper it got.
his eyes squinted, “where is this coming from?”
“your actions, i’m not the type of person to make anyone be with me, i just can’t imagine not being with you, so i stay”
and just like that the whole thing was flipped on chris. he couldn’t even lie to himself, he felt terrible, the last thing he ever wanted to do was make you feel like you were anything but the most important person in his life, he felt selfish, narcissistic even. how could he put himself in your shoes then paint you out to be a villain? you’ve known each other since sophomore year and you’ve been together since that summer with no problem till now. chris was almost sure he was the problem.
“i can’t imagine not being with you either, i don’t ever want that to happen and i’m so, so sorry for pushing you to the side, i guess i was so scared of you doing it to me that i did it first, i’m sorry” chris practically begged for forgiveness, eating right out of the palm of your hand, it was too good, he was so gullible.
you brought him into your warm embrace, sitting back on your designated area in his lap. “it’s alright sweet boy i forgive you, and don’t listen to your brothers okay?, what we have stays between us and we’ll be better this time. i’m glad we had this talk” you placed a tender kiss on his lips followed by another.
“me too” chris mumbled before connecting your lips again. “are you going to let me make it up to you mama?”
“of course pa”
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₊˚ˑ༄ؘ      ❪  𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁'𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴  ❫  ✩₊˚.  ◛ ·˚ ༘ ᝰ
⁀➷┊ ‧₊˚. definitely making a part two, YOU, MATT, AND NICK ARE ABOUT TO FIGHT
idk i think the way chris can’t express his feelings is so cute to me
tell me what you thought girl don’t forget to send me your request in my inbox
taglist- @worldlxvlys (COMMENT TO BE A PART OF THE TAGLIST???)
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ihatebnha · 3 years
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do you think katsuki would be a secret horny bitch or some shy nerd? i know most ppl perceive him in fics as the guy whos been itching to fuck you but i kinda like the idea where he’s shy and awkward when you just make a dick joke yk?
OH MAN, I love questions like this... so bear with me for a sec...
I know this might be a little bit... disputed... by some (despite how I can go into more detail if needed)... but I am honestly sort of with you in believing that Bakugo probably leans more to the shy nerd and traditional side of things when it comes to things like dick jokes.
Not to say, you know, that he's really all that freaked out or bothered by them (because he obviously knows when people are messing around)... but what makes them different is when they're specifically about or coming from you.
Because more so than it being an either-or situation, it's almost more like it's both... being interested in you (and wanting to fuck you) is what actually causes him to get flustered in the first place, mostly due to the fact that he doesn't want to mess up what you have or expose his feelings over a silly joke.
(And if you aren't already dating, I think he's more of an... ask them out first... type guy.)
I just honestly think that... Bakugo is probably a total prude when it comes to relationships and views them as pretty special, mostly because he'd never enter one if that isn't what he really wanted... so to joke around about fucking (something I can see him believing to be "a couple's activity only")... takes away from the actual... courting process and/or shows he's not as serious about other things when it comes to being with you.
(Even if he does have his own needs.)
I do see it being the other way around, though... if you weren't dating and Bakugo thought he didn't have a chance with you, or that you didn't like him back. Not that I believe he's one to fuck around, but... if he knows he can't be in a relationship with you, the least he can do is joke about dicks with you right back as a way to tease or flex.
(And honestly, though this can go both ways, I think virgin!Bakugo gets a lot more flustered than non-virgin!Bakugo... mostly just due to lack of experience in general. I see a more mature Bakugo getting flustered because he doesn't want to talk about you like that, scare you off or admit that the jokes are sorta... true.)
Regardless, hopefully this made some sense!!!
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years
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Was Jk shading Taehyung during his New Years wishes to him at GDA? Twitter people are reading a LOT into it, saying that Jk is still salty at Tae and vice versa. They seem pretty chill to me. Why do people always find reasons to believe there is Vminkook drama?Is there a reason to think they aren't repairing their freindship?
VMINKOOK...
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First of all, why would JK shade Taehyung? What are they fighting about, I wonder. Has anyone known JK to be the passive aggressive king slash shade throwing one in that trio? Because, not me...
I don't see him as the, 'those two are hanging out now followed by a slight head tilt,' kind of person. The 'Jimin wants to come but JK is keeping him from coming,' the 'well, you ignore me anyway so I couldn't tell you were on a mission' kind.
Or even the, 'my friendship relationships are gold to me and it's important for me to nurture those connections' knowing damn well the elephant in the room has a possessive streak and he himself has been on record, allegedly, stating he has one same age friend and all his friends are hyungs- so what is JK to you then Jimin?
Then the whole, 'texting is not a great way to build connections and is a barrier to effective communication' -words spewed in full cognizance of the fact JK is a bad texter yet prefers texting to talking on phone anyway- that is what I call shade. Not sure what was in the water that day, but chilee Jimin was all over the place in that Be Behind video. Lmho.
I think everyone, including even the semi-rational Tuktukker, know damn well what JK meant by that statement and what had prompted it- but leave it to them to circumvent.
Ah, V hyung... we used to have a special bond. When we were trainees, we had such great chemistry. V used to be the easiest hyung to talk to, now it's awkward.
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Where is the shade in this? I don't think at all that he is or was in anyway shading Tae or any one. To shade would imply he has stock. He don't.
I hate when people talk about Tae Kook as if there is something wrong with their bond. There isn't. It is what it is. It's just not what their shoppers make it out to be. They are looking for depth where there is none. The fact of the matter is Tae Kook lacks depth to their dynamics. We know it, JK knows it, BigHit knows it. No amount of bullying Jimin or Jokers will add that missing depth back to their relationship. Sorry.
'He is still salty,' honey he was never salty about anything to begin with. They tried it! Making it sound like JK wants Tae to change in order to relate with him again. He don't.
Why would JK be salty about Tae's growth? Why would he object to Tae's growth?
Because that's what it is. This whole Tae Kook tensions is not about them fighting, it's about them growing apart. Tae grew the fuck up and JK can't relate with him or treat him the way he used to when they were young.
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And if these self absorbed, legally blind shoppers looked beyond Tae Kook for a second, they will know it's not just JK complaining about Tae changing and becoming different as he grew up.
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Tae used to be the easiest hyung to talk to and bully because they were closer in age and Tae allowed for such familiarity between them. Similar to how, Jin and Jimin allows for a certain degree of familiarity and informality between them and Jk.
While Tae allowed and was open to this level of closeness and informality between them, JK apparently held on to the gates, only scraping the surface of it and inhibiting the depth that could have been to their dynamics.
Was Tae content with that dynamic? No. Did he communicate that to JK? May be he did but JK wouldn't let his guards down. Tae failed to breach JK's emotional boundaries and years later he would express this sentiment openly to JK in their conversation in Soop.
Whereas, JK admitted to Jimin's successful breach of his emotional walls when he recounted the story of their rainy day fight- let me not hear any one compare Jikook to any of JK's ship in BTS, I whoop your ass. D!
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This is the intimacy that is missing in Tae Kook. When you are close to someone, you not only feel at ease with them enough to express your thoughts freely with them, you are comfortable enough with them to be yourself, be different, to antagonize them without the fear that your differences and outbursts will sever your bond or lead to irreparable damage to your bond.
Fact is, in as much as JK felt close to Tae in the early days, he harbored a fear that being fully himself enough to be 'opinionated' and fully honest in his self expressions towards him, would break their bond.
He clearly didn't trust their bond was strong enough to handle all of that. That's the intimacy you find in Jikook. The trust. They are both unapologetically themselves with eachother because they trust in their bond.
Which means they share a lot but are also very opinionated with eachother, clash and assert themselves with eachother. And I know the kumbaya fake woke Jokers hate to hear it, but Jikook are strong not because they don't fight but because their bond withstands the test of a fight as Tae explained in his conversation with JK in Soop.
He was able to get closer with Jimin and Jin by being openly assertive with them- going against Jimin in the dumpling incident and all the times they fought, directly confrontational with Jin over their dance choreo but with JK he had always been scared to open himself in that way with him for whatever reason- I won't bother speculating on. It's their ship, they should do the maths.
May be he learned his lesson. He's learned not to fear conflict, to be assertive without fearing he would be punished for it, to be less passive aggressive as he was before and express himself and his feelings more openly over the years.
But it took him closing himself off to get there. Always looking in photos as if Yeontan ate the last brisket. Exuding melancholic vibes.
Young Jk equally didn't have a positive view on conflict and conflict resolution and I think he knew his place as the youngest and did not want to be as opinionated or assertive against them and so, as he explained to Tae in Soop, he opted to keep a safe distance emotionally from everyone- not just Tae.
When JK talks about we used to have a special bond, all he means is they used to be mischievous, get in trouble together, be brats, chat shit under their breaths behind their hyungs- partners in crime and as I like to call them, be the evil power duo of BTS.
They literally shared one brain cell lol, and conspired a lot. Their bond was unique only in that Tae was a rebel at heart and a bit innocent or immature as RM and the others would say.
Ship wise, Tae used to be on his side. He was protective of him and and looked out for him when they were young- that's of course before he started passive aggressively exposing JK's relationship with Jimin on VLives, incessantly shipping Jimin with Suga, dragging JK's ass away from JM's car so he could ride with him and all of those harmless moments that to anyone with little understanding of Tae's character would assume Tae didn't support JK's relationship.
And even after Soop, he put JK on the spot when he tried eye fucking Jimin through the view finder during their dynamite MV- he knew what JK was going to do. He's seen him do that a countless times to Jimin- HE KNOWS.
There is a reason JK gave him that look in the Dynamite shoot interview when he thought Tae was intentionally trying to expose him holding hands with Jimin behind Suga.
As much as these little things may be irritating to Kook, I don't think Tae gotta kiss his ass too. Jk can be messy sometimes with his Jikook agenda.
Of course they dynamic would change if Tae changed too- which is what Jimin and everyone says of Taehyung. He is very reserved and mature now. He is not the same childish, immature, reckless teen JK or Tuktukkers used to know.
He grew faster than either JK or JM had hoped and they both miss that part of him. Tae said he wished he could get a time machine and show Army the 'Chimchar' he was back in the day. The only way Taekook can be real is if we all hop into a time machine and go back in time to change the trajectory of events.
Tuktukkers need to let go of their old ship, that ship is dead and embrace the new ship brewing in its stead.
Jimin have said occasionally, that side of Tae pops out but he is very different from who he used to be when they were young. Which explains these outbursts of moments and interactions reminiscent of their past bond but that's all that is.
Why do these people insist on infantilizing Tae and holding him to his past?
That comment at GDA wasn't shade. But it was an inside Joke I feel. Like I said, when JK talks about their past history and bond, to me it's reference to a time period where Tae was on his side and was mischievous. To me it's code for 'I miss when you were less uptight and strict.'
He brought up when Tae gave them leeway and was lenient with their schedule during the making of Be- a sentiment all the members expressed in the Be behind video when they praised Tae for giving them much room in their schedules.
It was the same thing he said during his speech to Tae at GDA after bringing up the whole past bond thingy. He wanted to express appreciation to Tae perhaps because the loose schedule Tae had created had given him much time to go home and give his man a blowjob or go house shopping with him- who knows.
The way he kept looking at Jimin while saying that... yea. I'm going with that. Lol.
That loose schedule definitely put Tae in JK and JM's good graces.
My take away from that moment though, is- JK's agenda to give Tuktukkers hernia🤣
Lord I'm dying. I laughed so hard my ribs hurt. Pray for me. Lmho.
Chilee JK.
Dude is on a mission to run the entire Taekook gay, Taekook married propaganda campaign into the ground. What guts me is, he knows what Tae Kook is. I bet he went online after that Tae Kook Vlive to watch Tae Kook compilations. He's been on a mission to obliterate that ship since. Lol.
I mean I won't put it past him. Probably looked up Yoonmin while he was at it and showed Jimin analysis videos of him moaning in Suga's bedroom🤣🤣🤣🤣
Would explain why he was laughing when he saw Yoonmin in the comments during the VLive and why Jimin looked like he wanted to eat us alive. Lmho.
Oh Tae touched my peepee? You bloody moaned in Suga's bedroom how about we call it even?
ROTFL.
I joke but I mean, this is the same dude who took an online personality test after Tae read his results to him in Soop- he definitely watched those Tae Kook compilation-Y'all laugh else I'll shoot you. Lmho. I can't be the only one who finds this funny!
He knows what shipping is, he knows how statements like that would be construed by the fans- and the fact Jimin had spent an entire interview and behind scenes openly disavowing his glorified friendship connections... I smell a renewal of commitment somewhere.
Don't mind me. I play too much sometimes.
There is nothing wrong with Tae Kook's friendship. If anything, it seems JK feels very appreciative of Tae in recent times which is usually a good sign between them because for Vminkook to thrive they all need to make space for eachother and for the pairings amongst them to thrive- Vmin, Taekook and Jikook.
I hope this helps?
Signed,
GOLDY
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cruzrogue · 3 years
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Broken
Ch1 (an olicity AU story.)
It’s a cloudy miserable noon with a chance of rain. So far today nothing has gone her way.  Finding herself grabbing another coffee because the first one was full of grinds. The only perk of her job is endless bagels and mediocre coffee.
Her sigh remnants through the small breakroom. Mumbling to herself, “You’d think a multi-billion-dollar company could afford better coffee.”
The only other occupant in the room snorts, “They wouldn’t make so much money if they gave their slaves… I mean employees premium coffee.”
“I Guess.” Placing enough sugar and cream in her cup. She deserves this. Especially being free from a call she finished up where a Queen Consolidated employee who seemed to be locked out of their computer had such a terrible attitude.
She had dreams. Aspirations. They all vanished when her boyfriend was lost somewhere in the Northern China Sea.
“It looks like it is going to rain hard soon.”
“I hate rain.” Her eyes move from the small tv showing a weather update to the overhead windows. The sky is getting darker by the second.
“Yes, you’ve mentioned it was a rainy night when you and your boyfriend got into a fight. He left and never returned.”
Felicity stares at him. She’s never told anyone the full story.
“Yea, something like that.”
Her life has changed dramatically in the last few years. To be clear. It’s been five years since her heart was ripped out from her chest.
“What a deadbeat.” Her coworker keeps going, “Wasn’t he the father of your three kiddos?”
“I better get back to my cube.” Pointing to her work area, “See you around Cooper.” She doesn’t wait for his own goodbye as she hightails it out of there.
Single moms aren’t his thing. It doesn’t stop Cooper from checking out her nice legs. She’s one of those MILFs he’d wouldn’t mind one night with. No strings attached kind of way. Too bad she’s pegged down with three kids.
As the breakroom is now void of anyone viewing the broadcast. Headlines appear. Oliver Queen has been found. After his five-years of being considered dead. He will be coming home. To reunite with his family.
Moira Queen face appears on screen, “It is a miracle with that of my young daughter’s prayers were answered.” She appears to hold back tears of joy. The camera than pans to the man by her side. Under his picture the viewers are reminded about his amnesia. How his bodyguard pulled him out of the turbulent water to a life raft.
Robert Queen has a few words, “My son is alive. After all these years of mourning. There is nothing worse than waking up not remembering anything that transpired. It has been my greatest failure as a father. I get a second chance. My boy is alive.”
The station airs a few more minutes of a recap of the Queen tragedy before the headline repeats its saying, ‘Oliver Queen has been found… Alive!’
As the hard rain begins to pellet against the building.
Felicity’s glancing at a photo of her three munchkins. Oliver was such a hands-on dad. Their first pregnancy was accidental. Their second was totally planned. Their third, well… she was alone for that one. His voyage with his father resulted in his death.
Life has a funny way of working out.
What does it matter that she was a prodigy child? At fourteen she was admitted to M.I.T. Her brain revered. Still is. It’s just… She doesn’t have passion to continue with her once upon a time active goal.
Losing Oliver was a knife to her zeal to conquer the technical world. Without his support she’s withered away in a gloomy existence. Somehow pushing forward due to motherhood. Seeing a piece of him in each of their children.
All it took was an eighteen-year-old boy to break her full academic resolve. She fell in love at first sight. It took awhile to become lovers because of her age. It didn’t stop them from spending each free moment together. Learning, appreciating, falling deeper, and the respect was always there. That when their bodies shared a special dance that carried them forward to wanting a life to be forever bound.
The most bizarre thing in all this. His parents didn’t approve of his affiliation with a minor back during their college years. They kept their relationship a secret. With the quarrel that led to Oliver giving her some space she felt to guilty to approach his family. They just lost their son.
Even though her babies are a joyful creation. If Oliver’s parents didn’t accept her in the past. She doesn’t ever want an eternal battle of custody. Powerful people have ways to win against dreamers like her.
To many people it is unfathomable that she’d keep the lineage of her children hidden. Maybe one day. When her kids are old enough to understand. For now, it is a secret that she carries.      
It takes her stomach to growl to even leave her post. Maybe a bagel will suffice until quitting time. Moving past some coworkers who seem to be gathered around animatedly gossiping. It takes a name to stop her in her tracks.
“What?”
“You haven’t heard?”
She shakes her head no, “Heard what?”
“The boss man’s son has returned.”
“What?” She shakes her head. Why is this conversation not making any sense to her, “Who?”
A name yet to be supplied but a few coworkers point to the breakroom.
“It’s all over the news.”
Felicity doesn’t wait. Hearing Oliver’s name once was enough to have her in a daze. She makes it to the room and any hunger she had seems to be forgotten. Her eyes scanning the headlines. Her world is spun upside down or is it right side up? It doesn’t take long as her head spins all the new information. Her Oliver is alive.
“He’s alive!” She can’t contain how much hearing this is just so overwhelming, “He’s coming home.” Hearing some voices agree that he is coming back to Starling City. She would find it amusing if the voices didn’t drown away as a dizziness overtakes her. Falling. Falling upon the carpeted floor. Not hearing the same voices sounding panicked.
“Felicity?”
Her name again said out loud. To be answered by a moan.
“Ms. Smoak?”
Felicity doesn’t want to open her eyes. It’s a harsh light waiting for her. Squinting she tries to cooperate with the voice.
“Welcome back. You had us all worried.”
“I’m okay.”
“There is an ambulance on the way.”
“No. No need.” Is mumbled out. “I’ll be okay.”
“Ms. Smoak, it is policy to make sure you are alright. I’ll give you some forms and they’ll need to be filled out before you can return to work.”
“Okay.” Is softly spoken. Felicity feels lightheaded. She just hallucinated that her boyfriend is alive. Maybe it purgatory. Even though she doesn’t believe in purgatory. It is the hellish state to want him back so bad. Their last words said of anger. She’s already exhausted every nightmare trying to make things right.
“Alright then. They’re here. Please remain seated I’m just going to handle their arrival.”
The woman leaves Felicity alone in what seems to be an examination room. Afraid to pass out again she remains seated. This has never happened before. Fainting by wanting something so bad. Crying her eyes out. Crying to the point of exhaustion. Now that is something she knows of well.
How will she explain to the medical professional she passed out thinking the love of her life miraculously came back to her. Just out of the blue she’s so overemotional. Thinking about a man for the longest time. Didn’t believe was gone. How cruel is her mind? That when she finally admits he is never coming back. She’d have an episode.  
 Across the city at Starling General. Oliver Queen is being checked out. His family insistent that he have a medical professional make sure he is truly fine. The media is playing that he has been found and is awaiting extradition out of the US Embassy in China. The truth of the matter is he was found days ago. He silently made it back states side early this morning. He has yet to see his parents. Glad to know his father is alright.
He is anxious.
What he wants... no what he needs is to know of his children. Know how Felicity is? Five years is a long time. The fear that has taken so many dreaded nights. Did he lose her? Their last words to each other harsh.
Is their another raising his children? His parents unaware of their grandchildren. His mind going all over the place. On the trip before that horrifying night. Oliver told his dad about his granddaughters. Of how he felt about another little one on the way. He was ecstatic.
At first, he kept his relationship from his parents because they weren’t keen on him courting a minor. They wouldn’t believe him if he were to say they never consummated their love until she was ready. He understood the ramifications society holds. Yet, age between them was just numbers. It’s not like he was a party boy like his high school self.
Meeting the blued eyed prodigy. He was quickly under her spell.
He regrets that he kept his growing family a secret. His love for Felicity should have never been under wraps. The moment they graduated from their prestigious schools. He should have pushed. Should have fallen on one knee and asked her to be his bride. Should have not listened to her newest reasons that she wanted to succeed without his family’s help.
Understanding that his father and a few of the crew made it out alive. He was pushed out on the wreckage further away. That when the storm calmed, he was already halfway to purgatory. His father’s amnesia keeping both sides of his family from connecting.
His thoughts are on his kids. Two he helped name. One he wonders if he has another sweet daughter or a little boy. Are they healthy? Doing well? His little Maple she’d be about seven of age. Ava would be five. His youngest almost four.
His youngest. Every thought that comes about is agonizing.
Felicity didn’t have him to lean on. Which means she either was alone or another somebody took his place. It guts him to even picture his young children calling someone else daddy.
Five years. Five years in turmoil.
He’s back. He’ll find his family. No matter what. He’ll apologize to Felicity over and over until she knows those angry words were of a silly man being hurt.  
Now he waits. Looking out of a hospital window. Waiting for familiar voices to come and claim their lost child. He needs this as much as they will. To be home. To be among those he loves. He missed so much. So much time lost.
He can feel the yearning come tenfold as a familiar voice is heard behind the hospital door of his room.
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outthefryingpan · 4 years
Note
Your writing is amazing ! I'm a sucker for fluff personally,, so if I have to suggest something,, it'd be cuddles. Just cuddling after a long,, busy day. Maybe in Winter,, a specially cold day,, those are the best days for cuddling,, and more so if it's with such a hot (pfft) monster like Grillby ! Just giving ideas,, I'll be happily reading anything you update here next. Have a nice day. :)
Cold Nights
Pairing: Grillby/Reader
Rating: Everyone
Notes: I’m a sucker for that too! I very much enjoy this suggestion, thank you! Send more any time u like :^> This is set on the surface! Most of the pieces I write will be set this way unless stated otherwise.
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You can’t believe how late it is when you finally begin walking home. Pulling your phone out and pressing the home button tells you it’s only a few minutes away from midnight. Your feet ache, and you want nothing more than to just crawl into bed.
Luckily for you, it isn’t a long walk to Grillby’s from where you are, maybe a little over 5 minutes, but you really hadn’t anticipated it being this cold and blustery out. Then again, you didn’t anticipate your boss holding you back as late as she did either, so you use that as your excuse for being jacket-less. In reality, it probably wouldn’t have been much warmer out even if you did leave on time, but you’re just going to ignore that. You unceremoniously shove your phone back into your pocket and quicken your pace, holding your hands together in an attempt to conserve some of your already waning warmth. 
In hopes of distraction, you let your mind begin to wander. Initially your prerogative is “think warm thoughts”, but of course that only leads you to thinking of Grillby. It’s inevitable. He’s the warmest thing you can think of.
You think back to when he first opened up his bar on the surface, and how he would stay open all night, every night. The new influx of customers quickly overwhelmed him, and so he changed his hours to accommodate a new goal of his, one he’d adopted upon reaching the surface. He called it the, “not work myself to death” rule. You, nothing more than a new friend at the time, had laughed at that. It was one of the first jokes he’d made around you. You laugh again now, thinking about how horrible a job he’s done in sticking to his goal. Maybe it’s just unrealistic for him, you muse.
No, that isn’t fair. He drastically changed his hours when he first got here. Underground, he’d been open every day from noon to 3AM. How he’d managed a 15 hour work day every single day all by himself was absolutely beyond you, but he told you that down there, he really didn’t have much else to do. 
In a more private setting, after the two of you had grown closer, he confessed that when he lived underground, he felt a sense of obligation to be open as often as possible, to act as a sort of home base for those monsters who were struggling, or just needed someone to help stave off their loneliness. 
Here on the surface, things are better! But they’re a lot different too, a lot busier. And so, with some kind pushing from his friends, he had ultimately decided not only to tighten his hours, but to hire some help as well.
You consider that to be the start of a deeper relationship blossoming between the two of you. You had offered to wash dishes and help with cleanup, and he gratefully accepted. You started talking more, spending more time together, and... The rest is history, you suppose. 
Now, he takes Sundays off, and closes at 10PM on Mondays. His daily hours are still pretty packed, but he has more servers and kitchen staff to help out with them. 
Suddenly, you blink in surprise at yourself as that reminds you of something.
Today’s Monday! That means he should have closed a while ago! 
You sent him a text earlier when you found out you would be late home and told him not to worry, but you totally forgot that it was possible for you to end up working later than him. That is a rare occurrence. 
Well then! 
You become excited at your findings, but quickly realize they mean that he may be sleeping. Rats... You need to be quiet coming in, then.
A chatter sounds in your skull just as the bar comes into view. It isn’t quite snowing out, but the biting, billowing wind is strong enough to drain most of the heat from you. Your fingers feel numb as they blindly wiggle around in your pocket, looking for your keys even though you’re still a little ways away from the front door. By the time you reach it, you’re putting in a pretty significant amount of effort to minimize your shivering and get it unlocked. It’s situations like these that make you thankful to only have a few separate keys to keep track of on your key ring.
The door itself is pretty new, but still creaks lightly as you push it open. Then, you almost lose your grip on the knob when a particularly strong gust of wind shoves you in through the front door. You stumble forward. 
Startled as you are, it doesn’t take you long to recover, close the door firmly behind you, and lock it with a huff. You’re just glad no one is around to have seen your little blunder. Hand still on the door, you sigh out your relief. Grillby would definitely be alerted by the door swinging open and slamming into the wall. He’d be alerted if you face-planted into the hardwood flooring, too. 
After taking a moment to smooth yourself out and appreciate the internal temperature of the bar, you glance around the dark room. As you expected, tables and chairs are neat, lights are off, and not a speck of dust can be seen. Sometimes you wonder if Grillby gets off on extreme cleaning. You snicker quietly to yourself.
The rise in temperature is great compared to the freezing nightmare you’d endured outside, but it isn’t anywhere near enough to stop your shivering. So you beeline for the staircase that leads to Grillby’s apartment- or more accurately, your ticket to comfort. It’s a little hard to see, and you nearly trip once on the way up, but the reward you’re met with upon entering is well worth it.
Instantly, you’re flushed with a wave of warmth.
Grillby sits on the couch in the living room that faces the door, knuckle pressed to the side of his mouth and book in hand. Your entrance alerts him, and his head turns up so his eyes can meet yours. They look tired. Yours do too.
He can see you shivering still, and it makes him frown. However, the beginning of a small smile finds its way onto his face when he lifts a hand and waves you over. Both of you know what comes next. You step toward him eagerly. 
Without a word spoken between the two of you, he places the thick, old looking novel down on the table in front of him, and opens himself up to you. Rather than sitting next to him like he had expected, you opt for plopping down directly in his lap, arms around his shoulders and legs on either side of him. He lets out a surprised grunt, but it quickly dissolves into a chuckle as his arms find their way around your midsection. You relish in the warmth they offer.
“You’re cold.” He starts.
“You’re warm.” You reply, though it’s muffled by the fabric of his thin shirt. He hears you despite this, and a fiery brow quirks up. 
“Aren’t I always?” Grillby asks. You can hear the teasing smile in his voice, but nod against him regardless. Thanks to him, you can feel your shivers mostly subside.
“Yea, but I especially appreciate it when it’s freezing out.” Comes your voice once more. Sighing, you feel his arm begin to rub slowly up and down your back, a soothing, sweeping motion that transfers his heat to you even faster. Suddenly comfortable, you’re reminded of how totally exhausted you are.
“I always tell you to bring a coat.” He tries for a chastising tone, but can’t help that it comes out as soft as it does. His voice is just a mumble now, reaching your ears easily despite its low volume. This is in part because he’s taken the liberty of placing his cheek against your head.
“Heh..Yeah...” You concede, burrowing your face further into him. It’s a long moment before you speak again. “I didn’t think you’d be up. Aren’t you tired?” At this question you look up at him as much as your current position will allow, cheek still smooshed into his shoulder.
His response is low, and doesn’t come immediately, which kind of gives you an answer in itself: Yes.
“Mm... I am..” He confirms your suspicion. A little more quietly, he continues. “But you were still out, and...” The elemental’s head lazily tilts, and the flames constantly spiraling off of it follow the movement. You catch him glance out the window. As if wanting to help illustrate his point, another forceful gust of wind rattles it just slightly.
A little guilt twists your stomach. He always worries, and you should have known he would be waiting. You should’ve fought harder to leave on time. You expect he’s going to finish the thought, but you already know where he’s headed, so you preempt him.
“You didn’t need to wait up for me...” You say softly. 
The response you get is hushed, but still quite matter-of-fact.
“I did. I wanted to. ...I like going to bed with you.” His tone is so simple, so casual, so... sweet. He’s just speaking honestly, yet it affects you so much. The guilt you feel morphs into adoration, and the feeling makes you grin. You’re sure he can feel it against him, but duck your head back down anyway.
“OK.” Your voice is muffled once more. But the smile in it is audible. A short, breathy hum escapes him, the sound like a sleepy little laugh.
The two of you stay like that for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other. The calm rise and fall of his chest slows further, and the surrounding blanket of his warmth cradles you softly. 
You don’t want to, but you eventually have to turn your face to the side. As comfy as he is, it’s a little hard to breathe that way. This movement seems to take him a bit off guard, and rouses him from a drowsiness he’d almost let get the better of him. You feel and hear the deep breath he sucks in as he shifts, bringing himself back off the brink of sleep. He props himself back up against the couch, holding you still as he does. You let out a large yawn, and gently pat his back.
“OK...Time for bed?” You ask quietly. In his sleep-addled state, he can only nod. Without another word, arms around your middle become hands on your waist, and he lifts you off of him and gently places you on the cushion next to him. Slowly he stands, stretching. His flames crackle and pop with the action, and once he’s satisfied he lets out the breath he’d been holding and turns to you with a bright orange hand extended.
For a moment, you consider asking him to carry you. You’re exhausted! But another look at his slightly lopsided posture and barely open eyes reminds you he’s right there with you. So you make do with just grabbing his hand and using it to help pull yourself up. Once you’re on your feet, you two begin a slow stroll to your shared bedroom, and step inside. 
The blinds are drawn, so the only light permeating the darkness you stumble around in to change is Grillby himself. You end up in just your underwear and a big T shirt. Following your lead, he removes his own top and bottoms, leaving himself only in his briefs. 
It’s only about 45 seconds after you enter the room that both of you are crashing into bed. You simply let yourself fall face first. He as usual is a little more graceful about things, gently lifting the covers for himself, and helping you work your way under them too. Your tired body sings in relief as you sink into the mattress, your back to the flaming monster beside you.
Unsatisfied with this, you fight the sleep off for a little longer to wiggle a bit. A questioning hum leaves him, and by the sound of it, he’s working pretty hard to stay awake too. You turn under the covers, trying not to muss them too much and he seems to get the idea. Warm hands land on your sides again as he helps you turn toward him, eager to pull you closer. 
It’s a little brighter when you face him, but that’s never bothered you. Especially not when you’re this worn out. He sighs happily at this change, and his arms circle tightly around you, a hand finding the back of your head and threading itself through your hair. 
His digits comb against your scalp ever so gently, drawing a pleased hum from your closed lips. Not many people know (because how could they? He certainly isn’t going around talking about it), but Grillby is quite a physical being. He had some old hang ups that made it hard for him to embrace that about himself at first, and is polite and accommodating to a fault sometimes, but once you’d made him comfortable enough he gave in to his desire to hold you more often, and hold you closely. 
Once again, you thank the fucking stars for that. Especially on nights like these. Gone is any trace of the icy chill that consumed you earlier. 
Without missing a beat, you place your own hands on his broad back, now giving him the same treatment you had received earlier. He’s larger than you, as most monsters tend to be, but it doesn’t hinder your efforts to gently rub your arm up and down along his spine, fingers only deftly making contact. The hand not doing this splays out across his shoulder blade, then creeps up to rest on the point where his shoulder meets his neck. It wouldn’t be long now for either of you. Your eyelids close, but he looks down at your calm form for a little longer. 
A murmured utterance of your name grips the last inklings of your attention. Your eyes slowly drag themselves open again, and a drowsy, “Hmn..?” escapes you. His voice is almost a whisper when he speaks, leaning down so his mouth is closer to your head.
“I love you...” Grillby breathes out. You smile, and lightly kiss whatever of his skin is closest to your lips. That turns out to be a spot on his chest, right under his collar. There’s a small smooching sound as you pull back.
“...Love you too.” You exhale against him. With the last of his effort, he throws a leg over yours, crooking it to bring you closer still, and fully embrace you.
Those are the last words spoken that night. All that follows is the dull crackling of flames and the soft sound of breathing as you both allow your bodies the rest they’ve been aching for.
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samshine99 · 3 years
Text
Love Me Tender.
Rating:
Explicit
Archive Warnings:
Graphic Depictions Of ViolenceRape/Non-Con
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
Hamilton - Miranda
Relationships:
Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson Alexander Hamilton/James Madison John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette & Hercules Mulligan
Characters:
Alexander Hamilton John Laurens Thomas Jefferson James Madison James Reynolds (mentioned) George Washington Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette Hercules Mulligan
Additional Tags:
Fluff Angst with a Happy Ending Emotional Hurt/Comfort Hurt/Comfort Threats of Rape/Non-ConJames Madison is a DickMutual PiningAlpha/Beta/Omega DynamicsAlpha Thomas JeffersonAlpha John Laurens Beta James Madison Omega Alexander Hamilton Love Confessions First Dates First Kiss
DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ
Thomas Jefferson was hopelessly in love with his work partner, Alexander Hamilton. They worked very close together, Thomas would send documents and bills to Alexander and then Alexander would read over them. They would sometimes argue over them, seeing they had opposing political views. Thomas was the Republican Senator for Virginia.
Alexander Hamilton was a Democratic lawyer that fought with Thomas whenever the time came. However, Alex found Senator cute, insufferable, but cute. Today was their first meeting of the month, they had to discuss the latest bill the Republicans were trying to pass in Congress.
__________________
“There is no way you can expect this to pass! Washington would never allow this!”, Alex said, rising from his chair.
“Well, good thing we don’t need his vote,” Thomas said angrily.
“OH MY GOD! Do you not know who our government, that you work for, works?!?!” Alex was exasperated. Thomas was getting on his last nerve. Jefferson was the dumbest person in the world, according to Hamilton. Alex had come up with a nickname for the senator, Jeffershit. Of course, he’d never call Thomas that to his face.
“Yes, I do know how it works.”
“Oh, so you know that Washington can veto the bill, right? Or have you forgotten?”
“I haven’t forgotten. This bill, however, does not need the President’s ok.”
Alexander rolled his eyes at Thomas. However, Alex had to admit, Jefferson was quite hot in his purple velvet suit. Alex wanted nothing more than for Thomas to bend him over, rip off his pants, and fuck him till he couldn’t walk anymore. However, he would not tell Jeffershit that.
“Thomas, you are the most idiotic person I have ever met. And so, for my sanity, please, take this bill off of my desk and get going. And if this passes, I will buy you dinner.”
“Alright fine. But for your knowledge, my favorite food is Mac & Cheese,” Thomas said as he sauntered out of the room, adding a little sway to his hips.
Alex shook his head and sat back down at his desk. Jesus, he wished Thomas would just fuck him already.
Ding! Alex looked down at his phone and saw a text from John.
Dude, can you pick up more hydrogen peroxide and dish soap? I need it for school tomorrow. And will totally NOT try the experiment at home. - John
Laurens, stop lying. But yes, I can pick it up. Don’t worry. - Alexander
Alex sighed and opened up his laptop. He opened up the email about his newest client. A woman that was raped was suing her rapist for $900,000. He was on the woman’s side. Thank God. He briefly looked over the report. It was pretty basic information. This case would be a piece of cake. The odds were stacked against this guy, James Reynolds.
He looked at the clock hanging above the door and saw that it was 7:00 pm. He needed to leave if he wanted to get to the store before it closed. The statement could wait one more day.
________________
Thomas heard the lock on his apartment door click and he looked up from the book he had been reading. In walked his roommate and fellow Senator, James Madison. Madison sighed and put his key in the bowl by the door.
“Hey Mads, you’ll never guess who I saw today,” Thomas said excitedly, as he put his book down.
“Lemme guess, Hamilton?”, Madison said, exasperated and sitting down. Jefferson nodded and presumed a position that was similar to a child sitting.
“He was wearing a green suit with black pants that hugged every curve and, God, believe me when I say that if I could, would have bent him over that desk and fucked him, hard. It was almost better than Mac & Cheese, and you know how much I love Mac & Cheese.”
“Yes I do, sadly. Why don’t you just ask him out? I mean, from what you say about him it seems he likes you”, Madison said , settling on the couch besides Jefferson.
“I’ll think about it, ok?”
“Alright, well, I gotta do some work but I’ll be out for dinner.” And on that note, Madison left the room. Thomas didn’t notice it, but when James left, he had glint in his eyes that seemed almost evil. Thomas picked up his book, and began reading his book as a smile that a only a schoolboy with a crush would have.
_______________________
“John, I’m home,” Aex said, putting the grocery bags down on the table.
“Eeeee, ALEX!” The younger man threw himself at Alex, knocking them to the ground. “You’ll never guess what happened to me today!” Before Hamilton could respond, Laurens was talking again. “I asked out that really cute TA and we have a date tomorrow night! Eeeee!”
“John, I’m happy for you and all but please, get off me,” Alex grunted.
“Oops, sorry.” John climbed off his friend and helped him up.
Alex stood and brushed himself off. “Well, Jefferson was wearing his mahogany suit and DAMN! He was so fine. I wish he would just bend me over and fuck him.”
“Hamilton, I love that you have this fiery passion in you for him, but could you maybe redirect that? Like, going out with your friends? Me and Herc miss going out with you,” John begged.
“Yea sure. What about this Friday? And if your date goes well, you can bring the “hot TA” out with us,” Alexander said.
“Sounds great. See ya later, he’s texting me. Foods in the fridge.” John walked away, buried in his phone, with a schoolboy grin across his face. Alex laughed on his way to the fridge. YES! John is the best roommate ever! John had made goat water and roti, which were his two favorite foods that his mom would make, before she died. Alex took his food and went to his room, to God knows what. But most likely to think about Jefferson railing him.
________________
The next morning James Madison left the apartment early for “work”. He did leave Thomas a note, saying he had to do some stuff before work and might be in late. Madison had some business to attend to and he hoped Jefferson wouldn’t mind what he was about to do.
_____________
If Alexander knew what was going to happen when he went to work that day, he would never have gotten out of bed. But alas, he couldn't see the future so he got up and went to work.
He was at his desk reviewing the case when Sen. James Madison walked in.
“Hello Senator, please have a seat. What can I do or get for you?”, ALex said. The smirk on Madison’s face was making him nervous.
“Well, you’ve been quite the tease to my friend Jefferson, so I think we need to fix that.” Madison stood up, shut and locked Hamilton’s door.
“How-how ha-have I bee-been a-a tease,” Hamilton gulped.
“Oh, I think ya know.” By now, Madison was right in front of Hamilton. Madison moved to the side of the desk, Alex was at and pushed the other man down. Before Alex could make a noise, James was pulling down his pants and roughly massaging Hamilton’s ass.
“Please-please Mr. Madison stop.” That made the senate do the opposite. Soon, James’s thick cock was at his entrance. “You don’t have to do this,” Alex said, breathlessly.
“Oh, but I do,” James said, before pushing in dry. Alex let out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. Soon, Madison was moving. Thrusting in and out, causing the lawyer no pleasure. Tears burned Alex's eyes and threatened to spill over. He just wanted this to be over. Even if he wanted to, Alex couldn’t get wet. Hamilton grit his teeth to hold back the screams that were quickly rising in his throat. “That’s a good boy. Keeping quiet.,” James said, moving faster. Soon, Madison was releasing in Alexander and pulled out. “Now, you're gonna ask Thomas on a date or I keep doing this until you do. Now, what’s it gonna be?” Alexander gulped.
“A-a-ask him on a da-da-date.”
“Good boy,” James said, patting Alex’s cheek before leaving. As soon as he left Alex broke down crying. He had just been raped. He didn’t know what to do. Should he call Laurens, go home, or-. No, Alex couldn’t tell Thomas. Hell, Thomas had probably put Madison up to this. Alex pulled himself together and opened his laptop. He opened his email and and started an email
______________
TO: Thomas Jefferson
FROM: Alexander Hamilton
~ Dear Mr. Senator,
Over these past couple years I have had the “pleasure of getting to know you. Over those years, feelings have started to develop. Not the feelings that you have for a friend. But, the feelings a 9th grade science teacher might get for the French teacher’s TA. And it might just be me but please, humor me and let me take you to dinner. There’s a new place that just opened up that specializes in making different, overly-expensive Mac & Cheese. So, either it’s fate or me projecting, but please let me take you out. For some Mac & Cheese at least. ~A.Ham
Alex hoped it sounded convincing and sent it. He walked out of his office, telling his secretary he was leaving. He thought about texting John, but he didn’t want to ruin Lauren’s mood.
________________
Thomas Jefferson was having a much better day than Hamilton. The alpha was sitting at his desk, when the email notification came in. He read over the email 2 times before even thinking about replying. Thomas was astounded. He didn’t think that Hamilton swung that way. The alpha thought that, from hours of stalking Hamilton on every form of social media, he had only dated women. Jefferson had been sure that Alex had been dating this alpha named Elizabeth. Hell, Alex had made a happy birthday post calling her, “one of the few alphas to put up with his shit”. But, Thomas could have been misreading the signs.
Before even thinking, Thomas Jefferson was writing out yes in all caps and pressing send. He had a hot date with the hottest man ever!
NOTES: So This is just the first part. I will be updating it here and on AO3. You can follow on either or both.
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Text
We Should Probably Fix That
Summary- 2k Bucky Barnes x Y/N. Bucky and You meet up in the Locker room. SMUT. NSFW. written for Kristens 2020 writing challenge. Thanks for hosting, it was alot of fun! My Prompt- “Oh dont mind me. Just enjoying the view.”
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Here it was a fine Saturday morning and you were staring up at the ceiling of the compounds gym. Having just gotten your ass rolled by Natasha. Her hand stretched into your vision and grasping it, she hauled you back to a stand. "Good try, but you got to expect me on either side. And you favor the left."
"Yea, Bucky bruised my left hip" Nats lips turned into a smirk "not like that! Okay... Maybe like that. Worth it though. Try one more time?" The red head nodded and the two of you separated, going to separate corners of the mat.
As the two of you started sparring once more, you tried to stay focused on Nat, she isnt past pulling out a special move if she doesnt think your paying attention. Successful in blocking her, a quick duck on your part allows you to swing in closer, hooking a leg though hers and knocking her off kilter. Hey one out of three tries isn't bad and this time your the one helping her up, accompanied by "thats my girl!" You two glance over to see Bucky had come over from where he had been working out. “Oh dont mind me, just enjoying the view.” he winked at the two of you. 
"Yea well dont worry Barnes, I happened to see on the calendar were due for a match up, so next time you can participate." Natasha quipped as she went to grab a towel, grinning as she wiped the back of her neck "Y/N was at a disadvantage. Something about a bruise on her left side? Otherwise she probably gotten me more times."
You blush, but your face is already flushed and Bucky glances at you with a bit of worry, when you reach him, he handed your towel to you, then his vibranium hand touched along your hip, the coolness of his touch immediately noticed. "I thought that went away?"
"Dont listen to Romanoff, shes only teasing" you whisper back and lean up to kiss him. “Im not sore, and not favoring my left hip.” Behind you Nat is shaking her head yes, and you can see the way Buckys face changes that she must be doing something. “Nat, I swear, you and I will go back on the mat, and I will kick that tight ass of yours.” You turn around and toss your towel at her, and she snatchs it from the air and smirks. 
“Promises promises Y/N” she states as she gathers hers stuff and starts to head to the locker rooms. Bucky slings an arm around you and the two of you head that way as well, passing Steve and Sam as they came in to use the gym after there morning run. Turning the corner, Bucky veers off to go into the mens section, and Natasha waits patiently holding the womens door open. Once he goes inside, you veer back towards the mens, winking at Natasha. “Go on, Im gonna catch a shower elsewhere” and she gives you an approving thumbs up before going inside and leaving you to make your sneak, listening for Bucky to start the shower. After a few minutes you hear the groan of the pipework and the premium pressure shower heads Tony just had installed start, and you went inside. 
So you started stripping off you shoes and clothes, tossing them aside as you went down the row of lockers, honestly you didnt care if Steve and Sam stumbled upon them when they came in. They knew Bucky was a grown ass adult, and in a relationship. Once you reached the showers, you could see Buckys form through the frosted glass door, on a nearby bench were his everyday clothes, nicely folded, waiting for him to exit. You were a chaotic energy compared to his ritualistic ones. Why you two just worked. 
You decided to make yourself known, it never really pays off to sneak up on a super soldier, and you respected Buckys past to know that there was certain things he just didnt care for, sneaking up on him was one of them. So you knock on the glass door, giving a soft tune to his name as you spoke it. “Oh Barnes, mind sharing that hot water?” You could see him turn in the shower, and the silver of his arm stretch out to slide the glass aside. A billow of steam escaped when he opened the door, and his face emerged from it, his hair plastered to his head and droplets of water running down his the tip of his nose. His eyes rove down your form and your cant help but tilt your hip, folding your arms over your chest, leaving him growling playfully “Why you covering your self up sexy? Fuck come on in.” 
You giggled as his hand snaked out and wrapped around your waist, bringing you in. Tumbling against his chest, your arms sliding up around his neck as his lips claimed your neck, nibbles and flicks of his tongue speeding your pulse underneath it. His hands slid down your back and clasped your ass, arching you to grind right into him. “Something get you riled up today Buck?” You ask against his ear, sliding your tongue along the shell and tugging on his lobe, sucking on it. Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he backed you up into the tiled wall just under the spray. It cascaded down his muscled back that was taunt in his lust.
“Mmmhh watching you and Nat might have got me heated.” A roll of his hips showed you just how turned on it made him, along with the harder kiss marking your neck now, making you hiss and grind yourself back against him. Releasing your hands, you slid them down his chest, the mere touch of your hands left his muscles flexing underneath, along those V lines you so loved, and wrapped your hand around his erection, stroking just lightly enough to hear his breath hitch, and his vibranium arm pushed with some force against the wall beside your head. He was throbbing in your palm, and you relished holding him, stroking him into pleasure. “I can feel that Bucky... “
You leaned forward, husky voiced whispers “Your so big and hard, Its gonna feel so good pounding in my pussy.”  A slight twist of the wrist and as you slid your hand down, you slipped to roll his balls in your palm, moaning as you bite your lip. You tipped your head to glance at him, his breathing had started to turn shallow, rushed, and his pupils blew the further along you brought him. 
“Fuck, faster Y/N” In which you obliged, jerking your hand faster and faster, his hips jutting to keep pace. You could hear his hand tighten in the tile and the distinct crack of it, making you smirk. Oops, another one they busted, Tony was gonna see the repair request and give them shit later. His other hand, his warmth seeping from his palm as he pushed into your wet plastered hair, fisting into it and dragging your lips to meet his, possessively harsh kissing, a clashing of lips, forcing them apart with his tongue and dragging yours to his mouth. 
Dragging away from you, he gasped. “Stop, stop Baby” and you still, for a second before giving one more slow tempting pump, and he groaned, his dropped head to your shoulder giving a sharp bite, in which you yelp as his hands grasped behind your thighs and had you part your pretty thighs and fold around him. The wall kept you upright, leaving your hands free to explore all on there own. Weaving fingers right against his scalp, bringing his mouth back to your skin to work its magic. Following along your collarbone with worshiping kisses, his cock was slicked between your dripping folds. The moment his head slipped into your aching channel, you urged him to continue calling his name. “Fuck yes Buck, make me yours” 
Bucky Barnes was by all means a well endowed soldier, and you gasped feeling him stretch you the more he pushed in, rotating your hips, and tightening your legs around his waist to pull yourself closer, you gasped softly and a whimper was exhaled against his open mouth. “Fuck baby, your so god damn tight.” You giggle and kiss on the corner of his mouth, flexing yourself around him. 
“And all yours, we already broke the wall, lets really break some tiles.” You teased and he pulled back to start thrusting into you, definitely not disappointing, your ass bounced off the tile and his mouth traveled back to your collarbone. You leaned back, giving him access, cause you really wanted him to play with your bouncing breasts. 
“Think Tony is gonna start charging us?” He grunted and cupping a breast, teased it with his teeth, pulling the nipple with a pop between his teeth and swirling his tongue around it till it was nice and firm. Loving how your perky tits bounced in his face, lavishing his tongue down the valley, a mix of your salty skin and fresh warm water cascading from overhead his new favorite taste in the world. “I would pay whatever he wants as long as we continue shower sex” 
A roll of your body viced around him, screaming his name rather loudly and scratching down his back, while he continued powering through. His thrusts got harder, your channel slick with your arousal followed along with him, and reaching up to grasp the shower head to brace yourself. This was exactly why you loved being with Buck, he knew when to be gentle, and when to be rough as fuck. You pulled on his hair when he bit the curve of your breasts, knowing once more you were going to spot many bruises, underneath all your clothes. He was sure never to mark you within sight of the others.” Bucky, fuck im about to come again.... “ It hadnt been that long, and you were still clenching and coming down from the previous ones high. 
“Dont worry, Im fucking going to fill you up when you come... “ He cussed against you as you thrusted yourself harder, the both of you rushing towards your ending, and you screamed his name a second time, his body pushing to pin your between him and the wall, milking his cock for his seed, which throbbed in your channel, shooting thick streams to coat your walls, making you moan coming down. Reaching around you and feeling along the wall, you felt for the handle and twisted it to stop the water streaming down the two of you, and you both just panted against one another. 
Rubbing your hips as he pulled back so he wasnt crushing you against the wall, he reached up to brush your hair from your face, and kissed you softer this time. Not driven by lust, this was an affectionate kiss, trailing across your face and down your neck. “Ready to stand baby?” He questions you, and your hand smooths against his chest, nodding lightly. “Yea, just dont let me go right away, I think my legs might be a bit shook.” 
Laughing, he eased your thighs down and pulling from you, he continued you to your toes, sliding your arms around his neck and resting your head against his shoulder, still humming from your orgasm. You tip your head up, chin resting against his chest, admiring the little things going on, the way he had throughy fucked you in one of the best ways possible, that you both seemed to enjoy these quiet satisfied moments. His hands eased up your back and he looked down at you just staring up at him with a overall look of a loved woman. “everything alright babygirl?” You were unusually quiet. 
“Oh dont mind me. Just enjoying the view” you grin and lean up to kiss along his jaw line, mimicking him from earlier. 
“Well we dont enjoy the view! Could you two hurry it up!” Sam must have been waiting to get into the locker room, and you bust into laughter as you reach to grab a towel, poking Buckys side and pointing up at the shower head you were holding onto earlier. Apparently without realizing it, you happened to yank it out of the wall, leaving it crooked and wrenched. “Shit babes, we should probably get that fixed to, huh?” 
@peterman-spideyparker
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unremarkable-house · 4 years
Text
Polaris by unremarkable_house
The X-Files, MSR, Rain King
Mulder and Scully attend Holman and Sheila's wedding in Kroner, Kansas.
Tagging @today-in-fic
Part One: Mulder and Holman
“Platonic intimacy is the foundation of my relationship with Agent Scully, Holman, and risking physical intimacy affects both parties. I don’t want to take that risk unless we are both willing.” There is a condensation of intent that settles around the patio of the Kroner Prairie View Ballroom and Suites where Fox Mulder and Holman Hardt - weatherman, meteorologic anomaly, crack relationship analyst, and now very newlywed - share their conversation during a small break in the matrimonial festivities.
It is also something Mulder has never admitted out loud, his desire for something more, and he feels the uncomfortable humidity of it fill the blissfully mild Kansas air. Holman has made it vexingly clear that he expects him to dish on the so-called Mulder-and-Scully-relationship while the blushing bride and redheaded FBI agent were otherwise occupied. Apparently, he and his buddy the weather wizard had a special affinity for these kinds of chats.
“Are you really worried that you wouldn’t be compatible in bed with someone who looks like your partner?” Holman is projecting a bit of his newfound sexual confidence with Sheila, but he doubts he’d have any trouble if Agent Scully came to bed instead. Or both. Holman’s eyebrow quirks appreciatively.
Mulder is not worried about his level of attraction to his long-suffering and comely partner, he does get to look at her every day after all, but he is worried that the weight of their traumas could make the next level of intimacy challenging. He didn’t need a degree in psychology from Oxford to figure that out, he need look no further than his own baffling sexual history. Plus, he knows how much energy she puts into maintaining their professional distance, especially since Antarctica. And Diana. As always, part of how he shows her he cares is by respecting that.
“There is something to be said about the fact that it’s been six years and no one has even mentioned sex. With each other or otherwise. Maybe she’s just not that into me.” He shrugs, also thinking that really isn’t the case. Although it had been not-so-helpfully suggested by a Gunman or two before. As if any of them had any real experience with women outside of chat rooms and computer labs.
Because Scully hasn’t left him either. Hasn’t ever expressed an interest in a life outside the X-Files. Hasn’t ever, ever let him down. She stands entirely too close to him on elevators and drinks from his coffee cup when she’s in a rush. She waits up for him in the middle of the night, she lets him watch her sleep. She rises like the Phoenix time and time again. She touches the stars and toils in the basement. And she kissed him on Tuesday.
Though she would be seriously perturbed if she heard him acknowledge any of that out loud. Especially that last part.
But he was allowed to acknowledge it, right? He had to, or else they were never going to get past this bizarre phase where their relationship was even a secret to themselves. Will they or won’t they? Are they or aren’t they? Damned if he knew.
They didn’t even have the X-Files anymore. The entire pretext for their relationship hovered over the razor’s edge, completely unprepared for Salt Lake Cities and Diana Fowleys and meaningless days spent tracking down literal piles of shit. He made it clear he wasn’t ready to handle anything personal and then they RSVP’d to a wedding together.
Polaris or utter chaos. Scully had once called him unfathomably capricious.
“Yea, but don’t you want to just take her in your arms and kiss her?”
Holman’s aggressively simple advice is reflective of a man who got everything he wanted. Easy words from someone who finally found safe harbor.
Three months ago, he was offering Holman dating advice. Now Holman was freshly married and all Mulder’s gotten were a few chaste kisses he wasn’t supposed to think about. Cosmic justice or just complete fucking irony?
Sighing, Mulder looks back through the windows where Holman and Sheila’s wedding reception is just getting into full swing. Dazzling lights, disco balls, even a few novelty lasers spin dizzily over the guests as they start feeling the liquor and therefore, the groove. Scully is in there somewhere and his eyes scan for her instinctively, but he doesn’t see her red hair in the crowd. She must still be in the bathroom or surely she would come to find him out here, right? Mulder couldn’t believe the amount of insecurity he had been feeling since she came out in that dress and asked him to help her zip up the back. He needed a drink, big time.
“It’s not just about kissing her -” Above them, the full moon is in dazzling brilliance. Not a cloud in the sky, not a hint of chill in the breeze, downright perfect humidity. On Holman Hardt’s wedding day at the end of April. Figures. “I don’t sit around and pine for Scully the way you did for Sheila. We are in a relationship, have been for years, I guess. We are not just partners, I know that. And not just friends. But it’s about being with her all the time - forever - I think. I want to keep that possibility alive.”
At whatever the cost, he doesn’t add, an onslaught of near-misses hurtling past them like a vengeful comet wrought by some dissatisfied god. The weight of the knowledge that he would follow her anywhere - and she, him - whether they liked it or not. Something that was beyond what a ring or social status could ever symbolize, objectively speaking.
It was as simple as wanting Scully like air to breathe, simple as obeying the laws of gravity. A purely biological necessity. No need to complicate things. And no need to scare her off by being as lousy a lover as he was a friend. If all she ever needed from him were chaste yet unforgettable kisses, he would be honored to provide. Ad infinitum, if that’s what it took to keep her in orbit. No need to define the bonds that connect them. Just the need to stay connected.
A light in the sky from which he could chart his course.
Mulder looked hungrily back into the pulsating throng behind him, seeking his personal universal invariant. As much as he wanted her to return so he could end this candid and hyper-intimate conversation, he especially did not want her to overhear how pathetically punch-drunk he was after just the smallest morsels of her affection. He was supposed to remain coolly and Mulder-ish-ly aloof. It was part of their unspoken agreement for partaking on this exclusive jaunt they had both surreptitiously cashed in their vacation days for.
“I’ve kissed her a couple of times, though.” Except for that, of course. Holman gives him a high five. Then he says in the wistful way he’s been saying everything tonight:
“You know, I’ve been in love with Sheila since I was in high school; I was completely infatuated.” Mulder knows, but not really. Who could be in love with someone with a voice like that? Who consistently kicked you under the rug to date the people you detested the most? To him, the sexiest thing about Scully was that she willingly spent time with him. That and she smelled like a secret garden and her skin was as soft as a petal. His own luscious Atropa belladonna; look but don’t touch. It was a fitting match considering his life was rotely defined by his personal, unattainable longings.
“I think it's different, Holman. I love Agent Scully--” more of that condensation settles. “I have for a long time. As a friend first. But I'm not lovesick. I'm not…” he trails off because to say he’s not also in love with Scully isn't the whole truth. But it’s not the same. “I'm still working on being in love with her in a way that is most fair for her. For us.” He looks up into the starry night and grips the edge of the stone wall that he is perched on. “I tend to be a bit overbearing and unpredictable.”
And incomprehensible and dog-headed and nebulous and borderline unreliable - but he’s not really interested in listing all the ways he’s failed Scully or why he knows he’s badbadbad for her. The reasons why she shouldn’t be wearing a short navy blue dress at a private and completely voluntary event with him tonight. Why he should have done the gentlemanly thing years ago and convinced her to get out and save her reputation, to save herself from a lifetime of pain. Should have resisted the tender, irresistible way she always pulled him back to her. Should not have RSVP'd to this damn wedding, at least.
Instead, he spirited her away from the world living into the world of the half-dead and always searching.
Then again he’d probably be dead ten times over, considering the numerous occasions she’d saved his ass over the years. But life without Scully would be a fate worse than death.
He’s seeding the rain cloud, he knows. These are the kinds of words phrased in such a way that he’s been avoiding admitting - let alone thinking - for years. It’s admissions like these to people like Holman that will force him to pay the piper. He envisions Holman and Sheila forcing them to slow dance beneath the dizzy lights to Fools Rush In. He’d prefer a Whiter Shade of Pale, himself. Something a bit more subtle.
“Loving someone isn’t about being fair, Agent Mulder. My life has basically been at a standstill until I finally got my chance to be with Sheila. I wasn’t willing to move forward with any decision in my life if it meant missing a chance I might have with her. I accepted a job in the same town I grew up in, for Chrissake, because she was here! And yes, there were times when I resented the fact that she refused to see me as more than a friend and instead chased after the people I liked the least.
I have a few buddies from high school who got pretty sick of my laments for a woman - who you will probably agree - is completely out of my league.” Mulder resists reacting, different strokes and all. “The fairest route would have been to save myself the drama of Sheila’s many romantic interludes and settle down with someone else - you might not know it but I’m quite the catch in a small town like this - but I was determined to wait until it was my turn. Now those same guys from high school are here dancing at our wedding!
Look at me! I’m married to the most beautiful woman in Kroner! In all of Kansas, probably! And we are already talking about starting our family right away!”
Holman, glowing with pride like the light of the moon with his arms outstretched, has a nostalgic, faraway look on his face, back to his days as the awkward teen in love with the prom queen. Indeed, Holman had received his just rewards for patience, diligence, and the honor of a respectable life.
Scully is his reward too, Mulder knows. Has always known, since the day she walked back into his basement office after spending thirty-six hours hiding in the rain forests of Puerto Rico with no food or water and scared to death that the kill squads were going to find them and use extreme force. He was constantly falling in love with the versions of herself that she shed with each tragedy - always a moment too late. Always under her sharp and disapproving eye. She wore her newfound vulnerabilities with a sign that read: “Danger, Stay Back”. That she refused to be worshipped just made her easier to love. He’d had no clue dignity was such a turn on.
Mulder was just worried he hadn't paid his dues with such noble qualities as Holman’s. His many wrongdoings play with a sad soundtrack in his head, as sad as the desperate way she always looks at him when they’ve cheated death yet again. She had been particularly unzipped by his recent near-drowning and nick-of-time rescue in the Plantagenet Bay. The Gunmen published it in their quarterly and referred to Scully as the Babe of the Bermuda Triangle. He still felt kinda bad about that one.
Was it just Mulder or was the moon shining a little more brightly right now?
“One of the best days of my life was when Sheila started working at the station.” Holman gets another dreamy look upon his face as he recalls the day. Mulder remembers too, it was chronicled in the local paper. That and a portfolio of other newsworthy weather events Holman was responsible for sat neatly collated within his X-Files. And now including their invitation to the blessed Hardt-Fontaine nuptials. It wasn’t every day he got to hang out with one of the curiosities from his wonder cabinet.
Unless he counted Scully which he explicitly and vociferously did not.
“May 11, 1992: residents of Kroner, Kansas, report witnessing a rare quadruple rainbow,” He recites.
Mulder has a similar best day of his life, but he doesn’t recall any meteorological event that marked the moment. It wasn’t even a full moon. Just a regular March afternoon that he had been antipathetic about.
Holman grins. “Some reported seeing a fifth arc as well, but it was never substantiated.” Then his face grows cloudy. “That same day, while we were catching up, was when she told me she was moving in with Darryl Moody and that they were ‘engaged to be engaged.’” He spits the last words out like venom. And that would explain the subsequent supercell lightning storm that knocked Kroner off the grid for three days (also in his files).
“She just wanted to be friends,” he bemoans before becoming annoyingly cheerful again, “but being her friend was the next best thing because here we are! Sheila recently told me that the best relationships are rooted in friendship so if that’s what it took to get here, I wouldn’t change a day.”
Mulder, dipping his chin to his chest, was appalled he found that so pathetically endearing. And a little bit wounding. Were he and Scully not rooted in friendship? For someone who was so quick to believe, he knew he was certainly wanting for a little more faith in the matter. Because here we are, he thinks, together, in other lifetimes, always.
In this particular lifetime in Kansas, there might be drinks and dancing and more than one excuse to touch her companionably and then maybe a little more familiarly, as soon as she finished up inside and he could end this awkward conversation with the groom.
“Don’t let some bad luck cramp your style, Agent Mulder,” Holman says, reaching the end of his proselytizing. “The future will be as bright as you make it.”
Following Holman’s gaze up into the night sky, Mulder finds that the heavens are now alight with the ethereal trails of meteors, dainty and otherworldly, glittering their way across the universe.
Mulder sighs again, equally entranced by and indifferent to Holman’s bizarre skills. “Easy for you to say, Holman.” But Holman just laughs the contented and mirthful laugh of a man in love. To him, everything is limitless: life, love, the weather, and now the entire galaxy.
And though there was once a time where Mulder would have imprudently coveted the ability to touch the unthinkable like Holman Hardt, tonight he is content to reach only one star.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/24564760
Notes:
WIP, I hope. There should be a chapter for Scully + Sheila and another for Mulder + Scully. Fingers crossed! Mad love to my favorite fanfiction of all time, Parabiosis by Penumbra. This story includes some loving references to that masterpiece. Made with the utmost respect. Thanks for reading.
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haziel-luz · 3 years
Text
Will It Be the Same?
Chapter 2: Living Nightmare   (Lucifer x Reader)
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Ella enters the precinct all ready and focused. Lucifer being with you eased her mind. She knows he’s a good guy at heart despite his ‘devilish’ charms. Chloe smiles at Ella, relaxing her shoulders a bit.
“Thanks for coming by Ella, I just really needed you. You were probably doing something important.” Chloe looked at her apologetically. Ella smiled at her and patted her back.
“Don’t worry Decker, I was actually gonna come here with my scientific partner. I told her to go to lunch first and she said she’ll bring me something to eat. So we are all good.” Ella takes out the file for Chloe’s case evidence and brings it on the table for her to see. Spreading out the papers on the table in front of them.
“Do you know where Lucifer is?” Chloe asked a little hesitantly. Ella looked at her and remembered what Lucifer asked from her.
“Oh he’s with my best friend, I told him to take her for lunch since she doesn’t have a ride and I had an emergency. Did you want me to tell him to come down?” Ella asked, tilting her head.
“Ah no, that won’t be necessary.” Chloe smiled and dismissed it. Ella can’t walk on eggshells around them. They’re pretty frustrating to keep together. One minute they’re cool friends, then lovers, and lastly in an argument that they can’t seem to figure out. It’s basically a cycle at this point.
“Alright Decker, what’s going on? You and Lucifer have been distant and it was really awkward at the crime scene yesterday.” Ella questioned and Chloe didn’t know how to respond.
“W-Well, I know we have our ups and downs but I just..don’t know. Lucifer and I ‘hooked up’ in his penthouse. I thought it would be time that we did, considering everything we went through together.”  Chloe slowly explained and Ella listened and raised her eyebrow.
“You guys did it?? Wait, are you trying to say that you didn’t like it?” Ella's excitement quickly faded away. Chloe shifted from one foot to another while biting her lip.
“Um, it was nice. It just didn’t make me feel complete..I think maybe it’s just that he’s so used to getting in bed with women that he doesn’t know how to ‘make love’. I mean when I woke up all he had was a shit eating grin asking me ‘How was it’.” Chloe mimicked his british accent and looked down at the evidence. Ella hissed at the detail she spilled ‘Damn dude.’
“Maybe, and I’m just making a suggestion here, maybe you should show him how to ‘make love’. Just surprise him tonight with a cute outfit and make sure he does everything out of love.” Ella shrugs with a smile and pulls out the photos of the crime scene. Chloe stays silent for a bit and slowly nods with a smile.
“You're right, he’s been a one time fling for so long that he doesn’t know how to keep it steady for one person. Thanks Ella.” Chloe smiles and goes back to work.
“Yeah no probs.” Ella smiles back at her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Mind if I ask some questions darling? This devil has just been curious about who you are.” Lucifer smiles while eating a fry. He’s been really nice to you and you were surprised to even get the courage to talk to a stranger.
“Go ahead and shoot.” You smile and bite your burger. The burger at this place is perfect.
“Just wondering how Ella hasn’t mentioned you during the time we’ve known her. Anything she’s ashamed to talk about? Oh, and please don’t skip the dirty details?” Lucifer grins and takes a sip of his drink. You laugh after you take a sip of your drink.
“Sorry to disappoint you but we’re not in a relationship like that. We’ve just been best friends for a very long time and she really hasn’t mentioned you guys either. You seem to have a lot of character to you. I’m surprised she hasn’t told me anything about you.” Your smile bloomed on your face and you haven’t smiled like that for the past year.
“That I do my dear, and I’m rather hurt she hasn’t mentioned anything about me.” Lucifer feigns his hurt expression and sighs in disappointment. “Although I can always make up for it.” Lucifer smirks and you chuckle while shaking your head.
“You are so persistent Mr.Morningstar.” You smile and playfully roll your eyes.
“Please call me Lucifer, darling, the formalities are long overdue.” Lucifer's smile spread and you smiled back with a nod.
“I’m gonna throw this away and order Ella’s lunch, we need to get going before she gets worried sick.” You get up from your seat and collect the empty wrappers and cup on your tray.
“Right, I almost forgot that Ms. Lopez has important matters to attend to.” Lucifer also stood up to help you clean up and throw them in the trash. You go to the line again to order your best friend's meal and grab the bag to go.
You and Lucifer exit the fast food restaurant and enter his classy vehicle. Lucifer has felt relaxed the entire time he was with you and hasn’t gotten the chance to use his favorite trick. Now he really wants to know what you truly desire. Maybe it will tell him more about who she is.
You shift in your seat and cross one leg over the other, making you look fancy in his vehicle. Lucifer tried his best to keep his eyes on the road. The way your skirt slid up revealing that it’s a thigh high stocking hiding that precious skin. You were just thinking to yourself and closed your eyes to feel the wind.
‘Very naughty (Y/n). Sitting in a man's vehicle that way can get you into trouble, darling.’ You instantly heard Lucifer’s thought’s by accident and looked down at yourself. You should’ve worn pants. You uncrossed your legs and smoothed your skirt down, making sure he doesn’t see anything during the ride. ‘Oh don’t hide them now darling, I was just enjoying the view.’ Lucifer’s thoughts still entered your mind and you blushed while looking away. Why did this have to happen now? ‘A little lower and I probably would’ve-’
“How about some music?” You intervene his thoughts from going further and he straightens his posture by the sudden sound of your voice.
“I don’t see why not.” Lucifer turns on the music and you both listen to the songs he listens to. You're trying to control your mind more than focusing on the music. The music was more like a distraction for you to focus more on other things than his thoughts. This was always a pain in the ass for you. You focus on your breathing and close your eyes, making sure you have an empty mind. You put up a shield again to make sure you don’t let anyone's thought slip into yours. This is the first time it happened, and you guess that there’s still some things you need to improve.
You guys arrive at the precinct with a bag of food in your hands. Hearing anyone’s thoughts? Nope, so far so good. Not even Lucifer's thoughts have been entering your mind. You smile at your accomplishment. Lucifer opens the door to the lab and you step in while holding the bag higher.
“Is my special person still hungry?” You smiled and Ella's eyes widened excitedly.
“Yes! I’m starving, I love you so much!” Ella quickly grabs the bag and hugs you close.
“Who’s this?” A female voice asked. You didn’t notice that there was another person in the room. You followed the voice and found a blonde woman with a bun, who looked pretty and professional.
“This is (Y/n), the one I was talking about, and (Y/n) this is Chloe Decker, the detective and one of the best.” Ella introduces us with her arm around yours.
“Nice to meet you Detective Decker.” You held out your hand and smiled, while she did the same.
“Nice to meet you too (Y/n). So, Ella tells me that you're gonna help her in the lab?” She smiles at you.
“Oh yea, thanks to her I had a good recommendation and the interview went well.” You smiled at your friend in appreciation.
“Aww chucks, you're making me blush.” Ella gives you a wink while putting her food on the counter.
“Well I’m excited to see what you can solve alongside Ella.” Chloe smiles politely. Her eyes meet Lucifer and look back at the evidence. “At least now that you're here, maybe I should leave to let Ella give you some tutorials on how things are around here. I’m gonna check out this address right here.” Chloe picks up the enhanced photo and leaves the room while giving you a smile.
“You see that? She’s even been avoiding me.” Lucifer huffs while Ella takes a bite on her french fry.
“Dude you really can’t blame her. I mean, ‘How was it’, really?” Ella rolls her eyes and Lucifer looks taken back.
“Am I supposed to be present for this?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Trust me, you're gonna be hearing stuff like this in the lab. Better now than never.” Ella pats your arm and puts away the papers in a file.
“She told you about that?...Well? Did she like it or not Ms.Lopez, a devil like me needs honest details.” Lucifer ignores what we said and goes to Ella.
“Lucifer, she’ll tell you later. Just try not to ask that again, makes it feel like you only liked the sex part.” Ella responds a bit dryly and you felt your stomach twist a bit hearing that. Lucifer had someone else and moments ago he was thinking dirty things about you. It’s not like you were expecting a prince charming, just someone to relate to. Right?
“Have you not met me? Of course I loved it, but no matter. I can sacrifice to wait a while longer for my answer.” Lucifer sighs and sits on a stool. Ella moves to the cabinet and hands me gloves to start my training. You stood next to her with some mixed feelings towards a new friend.
“Now, maybe you should go help Chloe since you both are partners. I’m gonna start showing (Y/n) the do’s and don’t of working here.” Ella tells Lucifer while opening the computer.
“Do I have to? Maybe I can give (Y/n) a tour of the precinct when you're done, which I’m sure won’t be long.” Lucifer suggested with a pleading look towards Ella.
“Actually Lucifer, I didn’t have a chance to catch up with Ella. It was really nice meeting you but I’m gonna dedicate this day for this one.” You smiled towards him. Ella smiled and pat Lucifer's back reassuringly.
“You heard the woman. Up you go Luce, a lot of gossiping needs to be done here.” Ella ushers him out of the lab while Lucifer tries to protest. Ella shuts the door locked and sighs in relief. “He always needs a little push. Now, on to our little tour of the place.”
“You mean ‘starting the tour’ after you eat.” You stated and Ella shuts the blinds and smirks.
“You know me so well. I need my energy and I couldn’t do that with some drama around.” Ella takes out her food and enjoys it with sparkling eyes. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of your best friend.
Ella has given you the whole tour of the place, especially her do’s and don’t list. This place seems like a pretty good start. Sure, there were things you wanted to tell Ella so badly, but how would she begin to comprehend everything that’s happened to you. She might think you're crazy or a little paranoid. Maybe it’s best to ignore it and keep quiet.
You filled a cup of coffee for you and Ella, then proceeded to go straight to the lab. Slowly opening the door, you saw Ella talking to a nerdy-like girl with glasses and a shoulder length hair cut. The conversation seemed secretive because she was whispering while the other girl was talking normally.
“Is everything alright Els?” You walked to the counter and put the cups down. Ella quickly turned around and acted like she was doing nothing.
“(Y/N)! Everything’s alrighty. I was just talking to myself about what I should to about…” Ella looked around and reached for the test tube behind the girl. “This! You see, Decker needs this examined as soon as possible.” Ella turned back around with her back towards the girl who just looks unaffected by all this.
You raised an eyebrow at her suspiciously. ‘Alrighty? Test tube? Hold on, where did this girl come from? Wait, did Ella just say she was talking to herself?’ You didn’t know what to wrap your head around first so you tried to go along with it.
“Okay...I was only asking because you were whispering to her. I didn’t think that the test tube was involved, but I can do some tests on it if you want me to.” You say, looking at her and the girl a little hesitantly. You're unsure what to ask first so you just went with trying to help Ella with whatever she needed.
“Wait, did you just say ‘her’?” Ella pointed at you and then pointed at the girl. “And you...can see her?” Ella’s eyes were a bit wider.
“Ella, you're acting like she’s supposed to be invisible, of course I can see her. I’m sorry but who are you?” You turned from Ella to the other girl, who at this point seemed more shocked than surprised.
“Oh, uh- me? My name is Ray Ray, I’m actually just a friend of Ella. I was just about to leave, it was nice meeting you tho.” Ray Ray nervously left more shocked than Ella was frozen in her place. You turned back to Ella and waved your hand in front of your face.
“Uh, Earth to Ella? What was that all about? Are you good?” You looked at her confused and concerned. Obviously something strange is going on and you just wanted answers. Ella made eye contact with you and blurted out a strange question.
“Can you see ghosts?” She breathed out as if she was holding the air in her lungs from the shock she had. You frown, now completely confused at her question. ‘Where is she going with this?’
“No Ella, I can’t see gho- what does that question have to do with anything that just happened?” You’re getting a little frustrated now and began drinking your coffee. She turned to the blinds and closed them again, even opened the door to check if anyone was gonna come in. You stared at her waiting for an explanation no matter how frustrated you are. The coffee burning your tongue was helping to keep you from showing your frustration.
“(Y/n)...” Ella began and leaned against the counter trying to keep her composure. “..I can see ghosts, a-and Ray Ray is one..” She looked at you waiting for a reaction. You blinked and thought about it for a second, processing what she’s saying.
“Uh, okay..? How long have you been able to see ghosts?” You questioned your nervous friend. Now you're more worried that these new abilities have caused you to see ghosts as well. The last thing you need is a spirit yelling for help while you were sleeping. It’s bad enough that you have to control your mind from reading everyone else’s thoughts.
“Since I was in the car accident, I saw her and I thought she was just there by coincidence..” She explains and you instantly had a flashback of how much you cried knowing that your best friend could’ve gone straight to heaven at any moment. Your expression softened and you suddenly felt guilty from being frustrated.
“Then when I noticed that people couldn’t see her, I thought she was just an imaginary friend, but when that phase hasn’t passed..she revealed that she was a ghost and I believed her. At the time I felt special, but then I felt delusional because it wasn’t normal.” Ella avoided your gaze and your heart broke. ‘All this time...and she never told me.’
“Oh Ella..why didn’t you say anything?” You sighed and pulled her close for a hug. Ella quickly wrapped her arms around you for a tighter hug.
“Cause I didn’t want you to think I was crazy. You’re the only amazing friend I have, and I didn’t want to risk it.” Ella sniffed and pulled away wiping her tears. You chuckled at her assumption while shaking your head. “What’s so funny?” She asked with a slight frown.
“We’ve both been keeping secrets, and to think we promised each other to be an open book relationship.” You explained and it was her turn to look at you confused.
“What secret are you keeping? I already noticed that you could see ghosts.” Ella frowned a bit. She thought that maybe you can finally tell her what you’ve been through during your disappearance.
“Lately, I’ve been hearing voices, and not the spirit kind. It’s more like reading people's thoughts.” You explained calmly to make sure she followed. Ella blinks and starts processing what you just confessed but kinda had a hard time believing. ‘Ray-Ray did say that she’s not mentally crazy, nor that well either…’ You couldn’t help but actually read her mind because the silence was too awkward.
“Mentally crazy huh.” You hid the grin when her eyes went wide. The abilities you’ve developed did come in handy, and who says you can’t use it for fun. You crossed your arms and pretended to look offended.
“N-No! That’s not what I meant.” Ella blurted out and tried not to have a mental breakdown. ‘Holy crap! Can you hear what I’m saying now? What about now? Now??’ She was using her head desperately, like testing a microphone.
“Yes I can hear you Els.” You laughed while her surprised face became one who went into shock. Ella sat in the stool defeated and had her mouth open, wanting to say something but didn't know what to say first. ‘H-how-? What..’
“This happened during my disappearance. I...well let’s just say that this was the result of it. I know you have so many questions but once I’ve dealt with my demons, I’ll tell you everything.” You put your hands on top of her and gave her a small smile. You know that she cares for you deeply, but you couldn’t give her the burden of your trauma.
Ella stood back up and hugged you tightly. “I’m just happy that we’re both weird together.” Her comment made you laugh with her. “But is the mind reading thing gonna be a problem to control, cause I gotta warn you that I get pretty active in there.” Ella asked, pulling back from the hug.
“No, it’s not. I’ve been controlling it so far. God forbid I accidentally see your wet dreams. I don’t wanna know your fantasies.” You laughed when she hit your arm playfully.
‘Yeah..Things are gonna get better.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Azrael? What the bloody hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be doing father’s errands?” Lucifer looked perplexed at his young sister. Maze was unaffected by the angel's appearance, but gave her a nod while drinking.
“Lucifer, we got a problem..” Azrael fidgeted in her spot while observing Lucifer pouring a drink.
“Whatever it is, it should be father's problem to fix.” Lucifer shrugged and downed his drink with a swig.
“I guess it would but um- theoretically, if a human has gone through some traumatic experiences, would it be possible that she-or he can see angels that are invisible to the human eyes?” Azrael asked awkwardly.
“That’s a tad too specific for a theoretical probability, Azrael.” Lucifer looks at her with a serious face.
“Are you talking about that chick that hangs out with Ella? I mean, thanks to her..and you, I got half a million.” Maze speaks up and drinks in peace, as if she hasn’t spilled some info.
“Maze, have you been helping Azrael without my knowledge?” Lucifer quickly turns to Maze and all she does is shrug his question away.
“I’ve been helping myself as a bounty hunter. She said it would be dangerous and I gladly took it as a challenge. Everything turned out great since I got my pleasure and prize.” Maze gave a smirk, thinking about her adventurous time.
“Her name is (Y/n), and yea..somehow she saw me while I was a ‘ghost friend’ for Ella. If that’s not weird then I don’t know what is.” Arael confessed and scratched her head.
“This is interesting indeed.” Lucifer grins and pours another drink. “Maybe I should spend some quality time with (Y/n). After all, not all humans can easily see divinity. This should be fun.” Lucifer gives a mischievous smirk and downs his drink in one go. For the short time he knew you, you peaked his interest even more. You’re the code he needed to crack.
“Lucifer, please be careful with her. She may not look like it but she seems pretty fragile to dig up her awful experience.” Azrael warned with a stern look.
“No worries sister, she’s in good hands. I just wanna know what dear ol’ dad has planned for me next.” Lucifer walks to the elevator and waves her away.
Once he knows he’s finally alone, he sits on his couch and scoffs at the thought of you being part of his father's plan. Why can’t the old man just have one straight plan instead of all these complicated choices and consequences? He’s had enough.
Lucifer downs another drink and leans back with a tired sigh.
DING.
Lucifer sits up straight and stands up to see Chloe in a long coat with heels. Lucifer instantly puts down his drink and smirks cockily. “My detective, I would’ve never figured that you were one with many kinks.” Lucifer walks towards Chloe and tries to wrap his arms around her, only to be rejected by his touch.
“Lucifer, I only came for a do over. Yesterday, all you were focused on was the sex part, not the emotional part that was supposed to be with it.” Chloe walked past him and walked to his bed.
“Pardon me? Last night was divine, why would we even want us to do a do over? Not that I mind more.” Lucifer followed her and frowned.
“Because, knowing that you're the devil, you have lived all these years sleeping with different women and you don’t even know what it’s like to take things slow. Sex is always fun, but we should be connecting emotionally as well if you want us to be official.” Chloe rationalized while taking her long coat off, showing her classy lingerie black dress. Lucifer just stared at her body and Chloe gave him a glare while snapping her fingers in front of his face. “That’s what I’m talking about, Lucifer.”
“Fine. Let’s do it your way then, lead the way detective.” Lucifer sighed quietly while taking his shirt off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You walked out of the precinct late at night with Ella. It was a lot of work to do as a forensic scientist. Maybe you both can get out earlier as a team, now that you have each other's brains in the same room it would make things easier. You both made it into your shared home and landed on the couch.
“Man I’m so tired, I don’t even wanna lift a finger.” Ella sighs tiredly. You chuckled at how all of her optimistic energy has left her body.
“True that, but let’s try to make it to our bedrooms.” You stood up and helped Ella to stand. She groans at your ounce of energy but obliges anyway. You let her lay on the bed and you helped her get tucked in. The moment you make it to the door, she starts to snore as if she never had any sleep, and you tried your best not to laugh. You close the door to her bedroom and go to yours in an instant. You change your clothes and get straight to bed. Sleep instantly hit you the second you closed your eyes.
It was just exhaustion that made the darkness such a calming presence. An empty mind with no worries. You let it embrace you and consume you, but there was some sort of light. A different figure came into view, and it was blurry. You tried opening your eyes more, it didn’t work.
‘Oh Lucifer!’ A female voice exclaimed. Okay, now that weirded you out more. What the-
‘Am I doing good Detective?’ Lucifer’s questions with uncertainty. Oh hell no! Why are you dreaming about them doing it?! These two were the last thing on your mind.
‘Just as long as it’s me your enjoying, not just the sex part. Just desire me.’ Chloe responded and tugged Lucifer close for a passionate kiss. May lord have mercy on your soul. This isn’t a damn dream, it’s a living hell! How did you get here?
You looked around and found yourself in someone’s penthouse, and by the looks of it..it’s Lucifer’s penthouse. His portrait says it all. You look away from the portrait when Chloe moans louder. They were mingled so close to each other that you wanted to claw your eyes out. It’s times like this that you hated your abilities.
Your face turns red with embarrassment when the thin black bed sheets reveal more of their skin and actions. As if the outline of their sex position isn’t revealing enough.
‘Uh, guys?’ You tried calling out to them just to have nothing leaving your lips. Your voice disappeared and your presence is clearly unknown to them. The groans and moans got louder and the intensity of their “love making” has gotten too much. You tried covering your ears but the noise couldn’t even muffle.
‘I love y-’ Chloe was cut off by Lucifer releasing inside her with a growl. Chloe stayed quiet and surprised by the sudden release. She sighed and frowned while Lucifer tried to catch his breath.
‘Oh boy, talk about “love making”. He couldn’t even let her say those three little words. Was he trying to avoid saying it back?’ You said to yourself, even though no one could hear you. You just accepted the crazy situation at this point. There’s no going back.
‘Did I do as you pleased?’ Lucifer caught his breath and hovered over Chloe, looking down at her. He saw her disappointed face and frown at the expression. Chloe made him pull out of her and removed herself from under him plus the bed.
‘Not at all. What was that?’ Chloe put her clothes back on and wrapped herself in a coat. Lucifer pulled his boxers on and a silky robe.
‘I’ve only done exactly what you asked.’ Lucifer was getting irritated and poured himself a drink. Chloe crossed her arms and stood in front of him.
‘You didn’t even let me say those three little words. One would think you're trying to avoid the affection, or better yet, giving it.’ Chloe pointed out with a sharp look. Lucifer rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked at her with tired eyes.
‘Detective, you know well enough that I’m willing to do-’
‘Say it.’ Chloe interrupts Lucifer.
‘What?’ He stops moving his fancy glass around.
‘Say that you love me, that you're in love with me. You have to mean it and be honest, you’d never lie, even if you are the devil.’ Chloe looked at him with hope. All Lucifer could do was open and close his mouth, speechless. ‘That’s what I thought.’ She looked away sadly and picked up a drink.
‘Detective wait-’
‘It’s Chloe! Try learning to use my first name once in a while!’ She walked to the golden elevator and gave him a glare while the doors closed. Once she was gone, Lucifer hunched over his piano and rubbed his face.
‘Great, now I’m witnessing a fight between couple that just had sex. Poor Lucifer...’ You rubbed your head and sighed. You shifted awkwardly and tried thinking about what could help you go back to your sleeping body. Then an idea crossed your mind. You closed your eyes and made an attempt to empty your violated mind.
Darkness consumed you once again and this time you gasped. You sat up straight at your bed with sweat covering your face. That event really drained you physically even though the other part of you is fine. You turned to see the time and it was 1 a.m.
You sighed and layed back down to regain your strength. This time when you closed your eyes, you made sure not to let that happen again.
‘Damn these living nightmares.’
/////////////////////////////////////
I hope you all enjoyed it! Feedback is always welcome~
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keelywolfe · 4 years
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FIC: Some Sense of Normalcy ch.1 (baon)
Summary: It's Edge's first day back to work at the Embassy, but his job isn't the only thing on his mind. 
Tags:  Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Past Injury
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Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.
Read Chapter 1 on AO3
or
Read it here!
~~*~~
Edge’s internal clock was accurate to nearly the minute. It was a rare day that his alarm actually woke him; normally he was awake minutes beforehand to shut it off before it could buzz and Stretch often teased him about it, asking why he even bothered to set it. Such was the difference between someone who never wanted to oversleep versus one who was committed to it.
Today was no exception to the alarm rule; being off work for a short time hadn’t reset his internal clock now that it was the day for him to return. But for once, Edge wasn’t reaching for his phone. Instead, he kept his sockets closed, his focus entirely on the warm, skeletal body snugged in his arms, as if perhaps he could draw out time and stay here in his bed with Stretch for a little longer.
Unexpectedly, the one to stir first was not him. Stretch let out a sleepy sigh and mumbled, “you’re gonna be late.”
“No, I won’t.”
“yeah, you will. unless you’re gonna skip a shower and coffee, and we both know what kind of mistake that would be.”
Yes, the kind that would make everyone else in the office suffer, either from surliness or stench. Edge wasn’t quite ready to concede the point and nuzzled a kiss against the top of Stretch’s skull. “The person in charge is never late.”
A soft chuckle and Stretch squirmed at the ticklish touch, shifting until he could rest his chin on Edge’s sternum to look up at him. A chance to gaze at Stretch always made for a lovely vision, even as exhausted as he obviously was.
After their discussion in the kitchen, surrounded with chickens as an impromptu audience, they’d stayed sitting together on the floor long enough for Edge’s leg to cease pulsing out operatic scales of pain and gone straight to a throbbing rendition of ‘The Marriage of Figaro.’ Once he’d struggled back to his feet, Edge had been forced to allow Stretch to handle the chickens, even Nugget in her planter, still nesting on her dubious egg.
Even through his discomfort, hearing Stretch joke that, ‘this isn’t usually what they mean when they say a bucket of chicken,’ sent a pulse of affection through him. Ridiculous jokes were always a good sign, for Stretch, if not for Edge’s sense of humor.
Dinner had been sandwiches, also made by Stretch, and they’d gone to bed early, and from the look of today, Stretch was feeling more his happier self. Except, appearances could be deceiving, especially when Stretch was trying to keep from being what he thought was a nuisance and what Edge considered giving loving support to his partner.
If Stretch was doing better, Edge wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, but neither was he about to let it come into the house and tromp all over their living room. Today was supposed to be his first day back to work at the Embassy and he’d stay home if Stretch needed him.
“How are you feeling?” Edge asked, seriously. He ran a gloved finger along the delicate rim of Stretch’s socket, lingering at the darkened half-moon beneath. Stretch leaned into the touch, his sockets falling half-closed.
“not terrible but not great,” Stretch said, frankly, with enough honesty to soothe some of Edge’s misgivings. “i have a video appointment with doc lee in a couple hours. i’m not feeling very public right now and she said if i was comfortable with it, it’d save me the bus trip downtown.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Edge said softly.
“oh, yeah?” Stretch raised a brow bone. “glad to hear it, since she also told me to tell you she can schedule your appointment whenever you like.”
Ah. “Of course,” Edge agreed crisply. He would call her later in the day, schedule his appointment, of course he would. He gave Stretch a last, light kiss than got out of the bed, taking a moment to retrieve his cane. “If you have a few hours, then why don’t you go back to sleep for a while, love?”
Stretch only piled up the pillows, propping himself up against them with a contented sigh. “and miss the show? c’mon, handsome, let’s see what you’re wearing your first day back.”
Edge stopped halfway to the closet and gave Stretch a look that stated clearly that he was a brat. Then he remembered, “I forgot to mention, Bruno stopped by yesterday.”
That wiped away a little of Stretch’s smirk, replacing it with wariness. “oh, did he.”
“Mmhmm.” On his side of the closet, a garment bag hung unassumingly and innocent. Edge stripped away the bag and brought out its contents unobscured, holding it out so that Stretch could take in the full effect of the kilt with its jacket.
Stretch’s sockets went wide, his pale eye lights flicking from the outfit to Edge contemplatively, surely already playing out a mental movie in that clever mind of his how Edge would look in it.
“Interesting choice,” Edge said lightly. He smoothed a hand down the fine cloth, picking away an imaginary speck of lint. “A little formal for work, isn’t it?”
It was and it would likely draw unwanted attention. But Stretch chose it, Edge would be more than pleased to wear it for him and take a few stares as his due.
“yea, think it is, actually,” Stretch said slowly. His tongue flicked nervously across his teeth, “not exactly the same standard you set with those power suits of yours. might be better to save it for a special occasion.”
Or rather, an occasion where Stretch could bear witness instead of one with him buried into his office all day. He hid the smirk threatening to reveal itself and zipped the kilt suit back into the garment back with only a twinge of regret. “Perhaps you’re right.”
And perhaps a private viewing could be arranged in the near future.
A more sedate suit choice later and Edge hesitated at the side of the bed. He had enough time yet for coffee, but Stretch was right, he needed to hurry, or he’d be late for his first day back. And yet— “Can I call you on my lunch?”
“ain’t it ‘may’ you call?” Stretch drawled. His smile was softer. “babe, you don’t need to ask to call me. i’ll pick up, okay?”
“Okay.” Then he gave into temptation, pushed Stretch back into the rumpled blankets and took a kiss, trying without words to express the depth of his love, his concern, all the emotions wound up tight inside him.
He couldn’t say if he was entirely successful, but the gentle reflection of love in Stretch’s briefly heart-shaped eye lights was a good start.
“oh, hey, before you take off,” Stretch got out of bed, unselfconsciously naked, and went downstairs, leaving Edge to trail behind him as he tried not to stare at the tempting sway of Stretch’s bare shapely pelvis as he walked.
Of all things, Edge did not expect Stretch to retrieve a rumpled paper bag, about the size of a lunch sack. He held it out expectantly. “can you take this to janice? we did a craft thing the other day and oscar’s wasn’t dry yet so he couldn’t take it home. figured it might be safer for his mom to carry it than for him to run with ceramics, anyway.”
“Of course.” Edge took the bag, carefully tucking it around the contents, and added it to his briefcase.
One travel mug of coffee and his laptop bag later, and Edge headed out the front door, cane in hand. He hardly made it down the steps before he stopped with a scowl.
Red was standing by his car, hands tucked into his pocket and a grin on his face. It made his hackles rise, particularly considering the way Red handled the situation with Nugget. He wasn’t unappreciative of his brother’s efforts, but he couldn’t truly say he was exactly thankful, either.
Edge stopped several feet away and well out of arm’s reach, a long ago lesson learned when it came to those who could teleport. “What do you want?”
“good to see you, too, bro,” Red snorted. He was chewing on a toothpick and that alone was suspicious, that he wasn’t smoking one of his horrible cigars. Confirmed when he added, “here to drive you to work.”
“No,” Edge said immediately. “I’m perfectly capable of driving myself.”
“yep,” Red agreed.
“The doctor cleared me to drive as long as the distance wasn’t excessive.”
“sure did.”
“And I’ve driven several times since I’ve had the cast removed.”
“i know. gonna argue with me in front of the honey bun?”
Sure enough, when Edge glanced behind him, Stretch was peeking out the curtains curiously and he knew damn well that the chances of him hastily snagging a raincoat out of the front closet and coming out to see what was the problem was dangerously high. The very idea of arguing with his brother while his husband stood by naked beneath a coat while their overly interested neighbors looked on made him stifle a shudder of pure horror.
Edge gritted his teeth and went to the car, putting his case in the back. He went to the passenger side and stood by the door, looking at his brother directly, meeting that irritatingly amused crimson gaze with his own. “Why do you want to drive me?”
To have Red look away first was inconceivable, illogical. His crimson eye lights slid to the side, a fleeting expression of discomfort grossing his face. Edge took a cautious step towards him, “Brother?”
“need someone to have your back. get in the fucking car,” Red muttered.
Wordlessly, Edge did as he was told.
Red drove with a combination of careless skill and blue magic, disconcerting and impressive at the same time. He wove through traffic and more than once, Edge bit back directives that would only open him his brother’s mocking. Backseat driving was a great deal more enjoyable with Jeff and far more likely to actually have results.
It was right after Red sped through the very tail end of a yellow light that he said. “you sure you’re ready to wade back into the shit?”
Edge gave his brother a narrow look. “Of course I am.”
“yeah? got that psych eval scheduled already, didja.” That was unexpected. For all that Red was more likely to sacrifice an arm to satisfy Papyrus’s obnoxious dog than to schedule a therapist appointment of his own, he’d never mocked or derided Sans and Stretch for doing so. In fact, he never really discussed it at all, less an elephant in the room and more a blue whale crammed inside, tail tucked behind its head.
“Not that it’s any of your business,” Edge told him coolly, “but not yet. I’d planned on doing it today.”
“yeah, you do that.” It sounded suspiciously like an order. Honestly, this was giving him an entirely new perspective on Stretch’s irritation with his brother’s obsession with his mental health.
Red said nothing else as he drove, the irritating twang of the country station he’d chosen filling the silence. His brother dropped him off directly at the entrance, parking in such a way that allowed the car to act as a barricade against the protesters that lined the sidewalk across the streets. A quick glance confirmed that while some of the signs had changed in the aftermath of the California attack, the message certainly hadn’t. There were enough mentions of dust to make any person crave a glass of cool water and to give a Monster nightmares.
He turned away and went inside, leaning on his cane a little heavier than he would have preferred. His mobility scooter was supposed to be delivered today and as much as that was supposed to ease his travels, Edge couldn’t say he was looking forward to learning how to use it in the Embassy hallways.
“Morning, Edge.” The security Monster didn’t look up from the screens, most displaying camera angles from outside and in, and one showing what appeared to be reruns of ‘I Love Lucy’. A believable façade of disinterest, one that Edge knew was tested from time to time by his own brother. If hostiles believed security was lax, they didn’t put in as much effort to thwart it, it was a technique they’d used back in Snowdin on their own house and out in the woods against XP hunters, tricking them into bypassing the obvious traps only to step into the better concealed ones.
Details might change, but their techniques worked, no matter what Universe they were in.
Edge nodded in greeting and swiped his badge, heading to the elevators. By the time he was nearly to his office, a trek constantly interrupted by greetings and well-wishers, Edge was very much looking forward to using his scooter even if he made him appear like a castoff Tony Hawk impersonator. His leg was aching furiously and consistently, there was probably still some residual swelling from yesterday.
Once he was in his office, he could put it up, he told himself, even as he struggled not to be curt while another Monster offered delight at seeing him back.
The sight of his office door had never been such a relief and Edge only nodded distractedly at Janice’s greeting, limping into his own office.
He nearly fell to the sofa with a sigh of relief, propping his leg up on the arm. The angry throb of pain began to ease almost immediately, dulling down to bearable. This was starting to become a concern, he might need to—
“Edge?” He startled, clenching his fists against the sudden surge of his magic even as he cursed himself; he hadn’t even noticed Janice following him in. She stood just inside the door, asking cautiously, “Are you all right? Can I get you anything?”
Motherly concern surrounded her almost like an aura, her long ears high and alert. Edge almost refused, then changed his mind. “There should be an ice pack in the freezer, if you don’t mind?”
She retrieved it hastily and helped him settle it between the straps of the splint. The cold was immediately soothing, and Edge sighed in relief, letting his head drop back on the sofa arm. He opened a socket to find Janice watching him with the expected concern. She didn’t try to hug him, she was far too professional for that, but the urge was vividly obvious.
Edge reached out and lightly patted her arm, “I’m fine, the walk took more out of me than I expected.”
That seemed enough and relief filled her soft brown eyes, “Of course, it is a bit of a jaunt up here. Can I get you some coffee?”
“Please,” Edge said gratefully. Not only for the coffee itself but for a chance to gather himself without an audience.
She returned all too soon with a cup and set it on the table, saying, “I would have been by to see you at home, but I didn’t think you’d like an audience.”
That was one thing to be grateful for, considering the outfits he’d been forced to wear while convalescing. “I appreciate that.”
“I knew you would. Besides, it isn’t as if we didn’t speak enough between emails and messaging.” She straightened and professionalism settled over her like a shield. “Speaking of which, let me get your schedule for the day. It’s a light load to start, per Asgore, of course.”
“Of course,” Edge repeated wryly, “Ah, before I forget, here, I brought this for you.”
He pulled the crumpled paper bag out of his briefcase, handing it over. Janice opened it curiously. She took out what was perhaps supposed to be a coffee cup, if it were made by someone who’d had it described to them by Salvador Dali and then exposed the results to absurd amount of radiation. It was lumpy and lopsided, the handle managed to be both entirely too large and also positioned where it couldn’t be comfortable held. The colors could be best described as ‘muddy’ and worst as a visual nightmare rained down upon a ceramic that had already seen its fair share of suffering in its short life.
Janice held it up appraisingly and gave Edge an oddly gentle smile, “Thank you. You did a wonderful job.”
Realization hit and embarrassed heat rose in his face with the force of an explosion, spreading all the way to the top of his skull. “No, no,” he sputtered out, “your son made it with Stretch and the other children, I was only delivering it!”
“Oh, thank heavens,” Janice almost sagged in relief, pressing a furry hand to her chest, “I was worried you’d hit your head, too. It’s lovely, of course, but from you I’d expect something a little more…” she hesitated, and Edge raised a brow bone as she settled on “…precise.”
Fair enough.
“Yes, well, as fascinating as this has been, let’s get to work,” Edge said crisply.
“Of course, let me bring in your schedule.” She bustled out and while she was gone, Edge made his way to the desk, carrying along the ice pack. He settled it back into place as he sat in his office chair and the simple act of signing into his computer was nearly as soothing as the ice.
By the end of the day, his leg would surely be singing another tune, but for now, he was focused on getting back to work.
Back to normal, one painful step at a time.
~~*~~
tbc
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Yandere! Shigaraki x Reader; All An Illusion
tw: kidnapping, messed up relationship, parental abuse, eating disorder, knifes, gayness, depression, stalking
❤️ Enjoy the series! one two
I know heroes are supposed to hate villains with a passion and don't get me wrong, I do. But, my alarm clock comes close in second. I slap that sucker with my fist, sending it to the ground and unplugging it. " I hate Mondays," I tell myself, dragging myself out of bed and putting on my white fuzzy socks. As I walk to the bathroom, I take my icy blue, almost white hair out of the ponytail that is half undone. 
Looking into the mirror, I almost am scared of myself. I look like a zombie. I put on some music and wash my face before going to the closet. My dorm room isn't huge, but it's nice. Especially since my roommate is one of the gayest, most fanboyish guy in the world. "Deku! Did you take my concealer again?" I shake the broccoli headed boy, waking him up.
"Wha- oh, ya. Sorry Y/n, it helps cover up all the bruises from training. I don't like anyone worrying about me, and with all the news reporters, I'm scared my mom will see." I think of Deku's mom. 
So nice, so sweet, and such a good cook. 
"Yea, you're lucky about that one." I sadly smile, taking it from his bedside table. "Just let me buy you your own, or get your boyfriend to buy you one. What if you wake up someday and you're tan?" I tease as he throws a pillow in my direction. "Todoroki isn't just my boyfriend Y/n, he's my soulmate. Don't be jelly." he jokes. "At least my eyes didn't look like Christmas colors until this year." We both giggle hysterically.
In our world, everyone is born with two different colored eyes. Our left color is the one of our soulmate, and the right one is our own color. Once we make eye contact with our soulmates, they return back to their original color. My eyes are red on the left, and then purple.
 I go to the opposite wall and open the windows, letting the sunrise fill our view. Even though Deku covers his face with a pillow, I can't help but watch the birds in the distance. They're free to go wherever, be with whoever. They're not stuck in a certain place, they fly everywhere and anywhere they want to.
I do some makeup and curl my hair a little bit before slipping into my uniform. "Y/n, you've been getting skinnier. Are you okay?" Deku asks, waiting for me by the door. He's already in the UA uniform and is currently eating one of the donuts his mom brought for us yesterday. "Oh ya, I've just been training so much it's hard to find time to eat. But I'm fine. See?" 
I grab a donut and take a bite, chewing it slowly and giving him a fake smile. He smiles back, relieved as I slip on my shoes and take a final look in the mirror, trying not to throw up. My eyes are purple, but today they're looking extra vibrant. Maybe it's the sunlight filling the room, or the fact that I cried myself to sleep last night. Either way, they look different. Deku and I walk down the hall as I try to find a way to get the bite of donut out of my mouth without him seeing.
I haven't eaten anything for over 48 hours, and I can't have the first thing be full of calories and sugar. Finally, we get to the classroom. When Deku walks in, I immediately spit it out and stuff the donut into the nearby trash can where nobody can see. I feel bad about wasting food, but I would feel worse if anybody knew about me not eating. I sit down in Bakugo's seat so I can talk to Deku, eventually talking to Todoroki and Mina. 
Finally, Mr. Aizawa comes into class, followed by someone I don't know, and we all sit down. "Today we are going on a trip to the USJ for some training. Go change, and come straight back." I quickly go up as Mina and Asui join by my side to walk to the girls changing area. I hate this part with a dying passion, letting everyone see my scars, bruises, and ribs. It always starts a conversation that I don't like, making people worry about me. 
"So Y/n, I've been thinking. You haven't told me about a single crush that you've had since we got here. What's up with that?" Mina looks at me with curiosity. "I just don't see the point in dating someone who's not your soulmate. It seems like a waste of time." Mina laughs at my response, taking off her uniform and changing. 
"I've noticed that too, actually. I-" Uruaka stops talking as I take off my shirt. Everyone's eyes bug out, looking at the colorful display on my body. A large gash is in the middle of my shoulder, and another as my hip. There's a new scar near my collar bone and a large bruise on my upper stomach. " Y/n... What happened?"
Ururaka steps closer to examine me, before reaching out to touch the large scar on my arm. "Uh, Sensei has been training me extra hard lately. It's fine." I quickly put on my uniform outfit and fix my hair as Mina tries to start up the other conversation. "Anyways, do you really not like anyone else? What about Kirishima, or Sero? Personally I thought you'd be cute with Asui, or Momo. But Momo already is soulmates with Jirou, and Ururaka is soulmates with Asui." 
I laugh, thinking about how all my friends have been able to find their soulmate in our class, except me. It's kind of sad honestly. Is it impossible for me to develop feelings for people? Am I that hopeless? Maybe my soulmate is gone, or has found someone else. Maybe I’ll never find them.
Ururaka chimes in, but I blank her out mostly. "Maybe Tenya, but he gives me asexual vibes. I think you'd be cute with Shinso but..." I stopped listening as we walked to the courtyard of UA, where everyone else waited. "Fashionably late is not acceptable ladies. I expect you earlier next time." Aizawa told us as they stopped talking. "And ( y/n ), take your contacts off." 
I slid the contacts out and into my contact case. We all loaded up on the bus as Lida gave all the boys a hard time about the seating chart. I sat between Mina and Asui near the window, playing footsies with Momo for a little bit before I put my music in. Just loud enough to drown everyone out, I rested my eyes.
I guess it would be good to tell you about myself. Well, you already know I have icy blue hair that turned even lighter since I've been in the sun so much. My skin is darker than my friends, but I wouldn't call myself tan. I'm Y/n Kayama, the daughter of Kora and Magazaki Kayama. Kora Kayama, my mother, is currently in rehab for her addiction to her meds. The nurses at her facility tell me all the time that she says terrible things about me. It's not a surprise to me though, she always hated me. My dad wasn't any better though, as he drunk a lot and hurt me a lot before we got the dorms system.
 That's what all the bruises were from, not training, but my dad's fist. He was a gang member, who went to prison for trying to attacking a fellow gang member, and sent my mom to rehab because she was the only one in his way of having complete custody over us. He was obsessed with completely controlling us... well, I say us, but it’s just me now.
My sister killed herself last fall when I got into UA, she knew I'd be able to take care of myself and wouldn't need her to live. She felt her only reason for living was to keep me safe, and when we got dorms, she felt she was finally free. I remember watching her jump off the large red bridge downtown, the smile on her face. She hadn't smiled like that in a while. 
When my dad showed up to the school and demanded to see me, his breath smelling like alcohol and his tattoos showing, Aizawa knew something was up. Aizawa and my father had been acquaintances when they were kids, but my dad went down the wrong path. Aizawa knew about the drinking, smoking, gangs, and his violent attitude. Aizawa instantly looked over me and my sister from the moment my mom went to rehab, knowing that my dad wasn't a good parent. 
Aizawa and eventually Present Mic gave us rides and cared for us in general. I had only seen Aizawa cry two times, once when Mic almost died in a villain attack, and the day of my sister's funeral.
Oh right, my quirk. Silly me. My quirk is theft, which means that when I look someone in the eye, I inherit their quirk for 24 hours. The best part is that I can use multiple quirks at once.  The bad part is that when I accidentally look at someone, I end up using their quirk. I once looked at Ururaka and began floating. I also looked into Mina's eyes and turned pink. We looked like sisters though so it was cool. I do have a bad memory though, so I often forget my contacts. I didn't take the entrance exam since my quirk can't work against robots without me using someone else. 
Instead, Aizawa recommended me to take the special exam. Deku idolizes All Might, but I idolize Aizawa. Aizawa has known me since I was born. I think about what Mina said, and I can admit that I've never felt love like that. Maybe it's because I was never loved as a child, or never saw a loving marriage except for Aizawa and Mic, but I've never felt for someone in that way. 
Sure, I love my friends to death and would do anything to help them, including risk my own life, but it's different. I've never felt connected with someone, even if they've ask me out or something. Lida asked me out once in middle school, and Denki perused me multiple times before he found Sero, but I never was able to say yes. Mina and I made out at spin the bottle once, but it was more fun than romantic.
" Y/n, we are here. Please wake up." I woke up to Lida playfully poking my face as everyone else giggled. Immediately Lida's quirk registered in my brain. It was okay, I had used Lida's quirk before. "O-oh sorry, I must have fallen asleep." The class laughed as Lida smiled. "I recommend that you get more sleep immediately. Deku has told me about how you lay awake watching makeup tutorials, so maybe you can go to Recovery Girl and-" 
I cut him off by pushing my finger to his face. "I'm good, thanks." I walk past him to Mina and the girls who are waiting for me. Immediately I inherited Ururaka's quirk. It was hard to control, but I had an effect on my shoes that kept me stuck to the ground until I used her quirk. As we walk up to the USJ, I see it's a large dome with different areas of natural disasters. I hope I get the building on fire or the ocean. I can run on water with Lida's quirk, and float above the fire with Ururaka's quirk. 
"Hello 1-A students, I am Thirteen. I've looked at your files here for recommendations, and right now we will be working on rescuing people from natural disasters." Thirteen sets down files with our profiles. I can’t help but be curious about what’s in mine.
" Now, I want to send you all to the biomes that will challenge you, and challenge the way you go about rescuing others. Now if I can have Shoto Todoroki, Bakugo Katsuki, Izuku Midoriya, ( y/n ) Kayama, and then Denki Kaminari to go to the mountain land. You will be dealing with an avalanche, and then getting people to the bottom safely with no equipment. Go ahead, and wait for the buzzer before you start."
I linked arms with Midoryia, registering his quirk, as we walked towards the mountain, eventually joining up with Todoroki. As I made eye contact with Todoroki, I felt a cooling sensation on my left and a heating sensation on my right. "Nervous?" Todoroki asked, grabbing onto Deku's waist romantically. " A little, but at least broken bones aren't an issue anymore. I am worried about the-", "Ugh, you guys make me sick!" Bakugo yelled out from behind me. I try not to make eye contact with Bakugo. I don't like his quirk. It makes me sweat, and it’s way too sweaty.
"You're just upset that Kiri isn't here," I smirk as his face turns pink all over. "At least I have someone who likes me." he snickers before walking over to Denki. I watch him walk off, and realize he's right. I'm unlovable, or else my parents would have liked me. I might have someone by now if I wasn't so broken. Maybe I'll never find my soulmate, or they won't like me. I finally come to my senses and realize that the buzzer hasn't sounded yet. Is everything working right? 
I look around to see that everyone else is confused too. Even the volunteers I can see on top of the mountain are looking around. Suddenly, a large boom comes from the middle of the USJ. I begin to go up the mountain towards the volunteer when I hear screaming. I turn around and see Deku, looking down at the center. I gasp, watching a large purple portal open in the middle and many people walking out. 
"Is this part of it?" Denki asks as Deku shakes his head. I register Denki’s quirk. Now is not the time! "No! That's the League of Villains, I've seen them on the News! They're not good news!" Todoroki suddenly grabs me and Deku, building an ice tower high off the ground with us on top. "We need to stay safe up here, who knows what they want."
Before I can even gasp, I look out into the center to see the entire league running towards the mountain area. "Bakubro, what do we do!?" I looked behind myself to see Denki and Bakugo on one of the mountain ledges. "I don't know, but they want something." I can hear my teeth chattering, and I can't help but feel dizzy already. Luckily, Todoroki has me and Deku in his tight, protective grip. I never thought Todoroki liked me, since me and his boyfriend spent so much time together. 
The league is now under us though, and I can picture out two familiar faces out of the group. Toga Himiko, a villain with a quirk for blood cloning, and Twice, a guy who can make copies of himself. We can take them and a bunch of villains I've never heard of. We are about to attack when I hear something that makes my legs shake. "Y/n~Senpai! We've come for you!" Toga yells up, making direct eye contact with us.
Todoroki and Deku look at me, as I can feel Bakugo and Denki staring at me from behind. "I don't know what's happening," I whisper to them, and they nod. They trust me, and can probably read the fear in my eyes. "Come up here and fight us for her you reject!" Bakugo yells down as them as Toga giggles. 
"Orrrr... you can come down here!" She yells as one of the random villains touches the ice tower. Immediately the tower begins to turn into melting sludge as we begin to fall to them. Todoroki grabs Deku and me, jumping and creating an ice path for them to walk on. The only issue is that Todoroki grabs my hair instead, and I begin to fall towards the villains.
Luckily Denki's hand is there to grab me and pull me up. "Get behind me," Bakugo commands as sparks begin to fly out of his hands. "No, I can fight for myself. I don't need y-" Bakugou and Denki physically push me behind them. "No, they have a portal quirk with someone. They get their hands on you for a split second and you're gone." Denki explains as I sigh. Boys. 
"Now stay back," Bakugo growls, scaring me a little bit. I wonder how Kirishima deals with this all the time. Bakugo and Denki step towards the front of the ledge, making me step towards the back. I sigh, still shaking from fear and nervousness. Why are all these people here for me? What do they want? How do they know my name? What did I do to deserve this? Do they want to kill me?
Looking out into the center, I can see all of my classmates are fighting villains while Aizawa and Thirteen are trying to get to us. But they can't, with a weird creature that looks like a bird but has an exposed brain and is purple. It's kicking Aizawa's ass too, which is depressing. I back against the wall and shut my eyes tight, wishing they would let me protect myself. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my neck, and look to see Toga, right next to me, holding a knife to my neck. I register Toga's quirk accidentally. 
"Oh, boys. Some protectors you are." Bakugo and Denki look behind them to see us, their eyes wide in horror. "Y/n! Let her go Toga!" Deku yells, trying to get to me, but Todoroki holds him back in fear. Everyone looks scared out of their minds, which they probably are. I know I am freaking out, trying to think of some way to get out of here. Some hero I am! 
"Toga, don't hurt her," Denki whispers, trying to inch closer. "Not another step lightning-boy!" Toga threatens, pushing me closer to the edge of the mountain. I look way down, seeing how deep the side of the mountain goes. That's surely a deadly drop, and who would save me? Nobody. "You won't push her off, and I know it. Not after you all did all this work, just to kill a random student? Seems pretty useless.", Bakugo begins to take a step.
"Kacchan don't!" Deku yells, right before my life flashes before my eyes. Toga pushes me off the cliff, and I plummet to the ground. I look up to see Aizawa and a few other students watching me, their faces filled with sorrow, regret, and fear. I'm going to die right here. At the hands of an amateur villain attack. How pathetic. They know I'm going to die too. 
As I hit the ground, I fall into a purple void that consumes me. I hear yelling, screaming, even blood-curdling screeches as I enter a dark room. Immediately the portal closes behind me, and I'm left inside a dark basement. I try to look around, but the moment I move, a thick cloth covers my eyes, and a towel is stuffed into my mouth. 
I can feel picked up, and thrown into a room. I hear a door slam, and then laughing. I smell something weird, and before I realize it, a gas fills the room and puts me to sleep. I've been kidnapped by the League of Villains, and now I have no idea where I am.
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princessniquane · 4 years
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After Effects V2
WARNINGS: smut, cheating
Cynthia walked into catering to go meet Nick. She saw Roman sitting with The Usos and his girlfriend. We made eye contact and he stopped talking to say hi to me. "Hey Cynthia."
I walked over and greeted everybody. "What's up." I smiled standing by Roman. "What's up!" R-truth yells from across catering. I just shake my head at him. "You just leave me hanging like that? I see how it is now."
"What's going on little Uce?" Jimmy chuckles.
"Yea its been a little while since you spent some time with us. What The Authority ordering you around?" Roman says giving me a hug picking me up. And then squeezing my ass where no one will notice the action. I resisted the urge to wrap my legs around his waist, it was really tempting.
I'm pretty sure Jey did see but since Roman's back was to the girlfriend she probably didn't. I glare at him when he puts me down and pull back. He just chuckles and smirks at me while he sits down.
"No nothing like that I actually just left creative. They want to put me in a storyline. They don't know with who yet and what's going to happen but yea." While I was talking Roman was literally undressing me with his eyes and licking his lips. Way to be subtle Reigns. I was wearing a white short sleeve shirt that showed a bit of cleavage and a black pencil skirt with black heels. Jey noticed him staring and kicked Roman under the table. 
"Well congrats and I hope it works out for you." Jey says.
"Thanks. I'm going to go find Nick so-hey." Just then Nick comes and sweeps me away from them. We were just a table away from them.
"What the hell was that?" Nick says. "What-"
"Don't you dare say 'what are you talking about'. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I saw everything. If you two are going to secretly have sex don't openly grope each other in public." He whispers sternly.
"What's up with you and Lana?" I say changing the subject. I did not grope him.
"We uh. We're doing great! We, actually are going public tonight. So you are the first person to know. You should be honored to be the first to know."
"Awww its so cute that you think that i'm the only one that knows." I say pinching his cheeks. "Come on Nick you two haven't been exactly secretive about your relationship."
He blushes. "Shut up. At least I'm admitting my feelings for the person I'm into." I look down because I know what I'm doing is wrong but I cant help it. It was just suppose to be sex. I wasn’t suppose to catch feelings but I did. And now I'm kinda stuck because he's in a relationship and I'm not. But there's just always been something about Roman even before we started this.
"I know I know ok. I caught feelings when I wasn't suppose to. Sue me."
"Hey come on I was joking. I'm sorry." Nick squeezes my hand. I tell him don't worry bout it. Roman and his girl walks by but I don't look at them.
Later that night...
It was only a one night stand. I need to get over it. Thinking about it isn't going to do shit. Its not like he'll just come to my room, have sex and actually stay the night because he decided to be with me. Right? Get it together Cynthia! Cynthia was in the shower moping over a guy that she knew she couldn't have. Even though she had dinner earlier she was still hungry. Perks of having a high metabolism. she thought. She just needed something quick to get rid of the emptiness in her stomach.
Cynthia started to think about Roman again as she sat down and ate her midnight snack. She thought about the amazing sex that happened after the pay per view in his locker room. All this happening while everyone was either in catering or watching the matches.
She thought about his mouth. How it sucked and nipped at her heat while her hands were in his hair. How his tongue worked inside her heat and played with her clit. She was starting to get wet just thinking about it, especially when they continued at the hotel.
Roman was always a great person to be around. His laugh was just infectious like his smile. Now that she thought about it he would always try and find an excuse to be near her. She'd be in his arms and she had felt loved. Being his friend is not enough for her anymore. She has tried to get out of this infatuation or crush faze but it just wasn't happening. So she tried to avoid him and be around other people, like Cesaro, he's a sweetheart. But he's no Roman her heart tells her. She looks at her phone for the time 12:38am. She didn't want to bother Nick because he is out and about with Lana. 
Paige and Foxy are out and she rather not go out again. If she hadn't shaken herself from her thoughts she would of missed the knocking on her door. She's not stupid. She knows who it is and she hopes that he will take the hint and go away.
"Cynthia. Open up." He knocks again. "Cynthia please open the door. I know you are in there." More knocking. She doesn't move from her spot though. She just sits there and doesn't make a sound. "Babygirl." He says in that deep baritone voice that sends shivers down her spine everytime.
Cynthia sighs and gets up to open the door a little bit. "What can I do for you Roman? I'm a bit tired tonight and I need some rest." He doesn't hear a word I say just looks at me up and down.
I had on black shorts and a robe with no shirt. I realize I had not tied my robe and my purple lace bra was showing. "May I come in?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "Not in that way...well not yet anyways," He smirks. I roll my eyes and let him in.
As soon as I close the door I'm being lifted and pushed up against it. "I thought you we weren't going to do this yet?" I tell him. He answers me with a bruising hard kiss. I moan against his lips and grind against his hips making a sweet friction.
He groans softly and grind back against my heat. "And I keep my word. This is going to be a long night babygirl hope you don't mind," he says against my lips. He starts to kiss across my jawline down my throat and makes sure to mark my neck. He goes back to my lips and start to grind hard.
I moan into his mouth as my fingers run through his hair and grind back against his erection. He pulls back and put my over his shoulder leading us to the bedroom. "Roman Reigns if you don't put me down right now!" I squeal at him.
He just chuckles and slaps me on the ass as we get to the bed. He lays me down on the bed and straddle my thighs. "You're so beautiful you know that," He says.
It slips out before i can stop myself. "I'm not that beautiful if you wont make me yours." My eyes goes wide and I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment.
He sighs. He moves my hand from my face and put them above my head. "Cynthia you are beautiful. You're special to me. You always have been. If you don't believe me then I guess I have to show you," he tells me looking into my eyes.
"Roman I-" he cuts me off by kissing me. I try to run my fingers through his hair but he pulls back.
"Uh uh. I want to make you feel good tonight. Make you feel beautiful. Okay?" I nod my head yes. He starts to kiss me on the lips and makes his way down to my chest. He flicks his tongue on one nipple as one of his hands pulls me forward as he begins to suck on it.
He then removes my robe and throw it haphazardly on the floor and releases my nipple with a pop and moves to the other. Roman keeps eye contact with me as he suddenly bites down on it. I didn't realize i was completely naked until I felt him suck on clit.
"Aaahhh! Fuck Roman. Mmmm...feels so good." Instead of going straight to my heat he goes to nip and kiss at my left thigh. Breathes against my dripping core, suck on my clit and then nip and kiss at my right thigh. Then he goes back to my heat and blows a steady breath. A shiver goes through my body. I hear Roman chuckle at me and goes back to sucking on my clit. I move my hips to get Roman to give me more. "Please Roman."
"Please what babygirl? Tell me what you want me to do." He teases me.
"Aaahh...Ro- ahhh!" Roman's tongue plunges deep inside me. I arch my back and move against his mouth that was devouring my pussy. Roman puts an arm down on waist making sure I don't move and starts adding his fingers. "Roman...oh fuck...yes! Yes! Just like that...mmm." Oh my god...this is too much. I cant take this much longer! Oh please no more! "Roman...Roman...I'm..."
"Let go baby. Cum for me." He says. I cum hard screaming his name. He licks and sucks all through my orgasm and leaves a kiss to my clit.
He kisses back up to my body and suck on my neck. I moan and slip my hands between our bodies and palm his erection. He breath catches slightly. I bite my lip and look into his eyes as I stroke him through his basketball shorts. He moans and bites my neck not enough to break skin and bleed but licks it to smooth the slight pain. I slip my hand in his shorts and he tells me stop before he can't control himself and take me.
"Now babyboy you know you will take me but the question is HOW you will do it," I teasingly tell him while stroking him faster. He moves into my hand as he moans in my ear. He quickly moves my hand and put it above my head again.
"You need to stop." He pleads. I push him on his back and ground on top of him and kiss him. "Uhhh...fuck baby...just like that...mmm...oh yea...fuck!" As I continue to grind on him I start to kiss on his jawline down his throat. "No! Stop I'm suppose to be pleasing you."
"Then you better get inside me quick." I moan.
He doesn't hesitate in getting me on my back again. He gets up and quickly strip off his clothes. He lays beside me and pulls me on top of him. I slowly slide down his erection and we kiss to I was ready to move.
I grind down on Roman making him groan loudly. I move up and down his length as I moan in ecstasy being filled by Roman's length. Roman grabs onto my hips and thrusts inside me faster and harder. "Thats right baby...ride this cock...uhhh...god you feel so good...so close." He pulls out. "Hands and knees baby. I need to be deeper inside you," he whispers. I get on my hands and knees and he slams into me in one thrust. He sets a brutal fast pace and I'm loving every single second of it. "Uhhh yes...fuck...oh my god...you should see my cock disappear in your tight pussy baby," he says and gives my asscheeks a squeeze and a smack.
"Roman...fuck...more please...give me more." I beg him.
He gives me another smack and pulls out again. I was going to ask him why he pulled out when he flips me over and thrusts back in. This time he goes slow and i wrap my legs around his waist. Ours lips connected in a lip locked, our bodies sweaty. As his thrusts begin to pick back up my nails are leaving marks all down his shoulders and back. Roman lifts one of my legs and puts it on his shoulder and I arch my back moaning. He drives deeper inside me as he moans on my neck. We're both close now. I can feel his member pulsing just as the tightening in my stomach is ready to burst. All I need is. One. More. We both moan each others name as our orgasm hit. As we catch our breath. I try to not think how ill feel in the morning when he is not there beside me.
"You think too much. I'm going to be here when you wake up. I'm done pretending to be happy with someone else when I know that I'm truly happy with you. You're the only one for me. You always have been. I promise you ill be here. Forever," he tells me as he looks in my eyes.
I kiss him one more time. "You better."
The next morning
I wake up and look beside me. The bed's empty. Yep to good to be true. As I got up to get some coffee I smelled food. I walked into the kitchen Roman was naked making coffee. Now that is a sight I would love to see often. I wrap my arms around his waist and leave a kiss on his back. 
"I wouldn't mind waking up to this in the morning. A naked Roman Reigns in my kitchen? Fangirls would go crazy." I joke.
He chuckles and turns around and puts me on the counter. "Did you think I left?" He asks.
I sigh. "Yea. I did. I'm sorry Roman. It's just that-" he shuts me up with a kiss.
"Don't worry about it babygirl. Like I said I keep my word. Now how bout we have a little fun before breakfast?" He squeezes my thighs suggestively.
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stripper-patrick · 4 years
Text
Evening gestures🌓 Steve Rogers I
Part II
Part III
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Warnings: little bit of implied smut, dad!Steve, language
Relationship: Steve Rogers x black plus sized reader
“Ooh mommy look at these leggings I need these they have unicorns on them” Sevyn smiles holding the burgundy leggings up to me. 5 year olds love their unicorns.
“Sevyn you don’t need anything else” I say
“But mommy what if I’ll need these for a special occasion” her little hands go on her hips and I laugh.
“That’s the last thing we gotta go to daddy’s dinner party tonight” she smiles and walks to the counter. Her face barely able to see over it.
“Is this all for you little lady?” The man smiles
“Yes please” he rings up the leggings and I pay for them. He hands her the bag and Sevyn thanks him. I grab her hand holding it while we walk back to the car. I pull the seatbelt across her while she gets comfortable in her booster seat before getting in. I start the engine and my phone rings. I press answer and hear Steve’s voice.
“Hey Y/N” he says. Me and Steve had a long blissful relationship that stopped about a year ago. Last I heard he’s still with the girl he left me for and they’re engaged. Sharon is her name.
“Hi daddy” Sevyn yells
“Hi gorgeous” I can hear that beautiful smile in his voice “how was school”
“Good. Daddy I got leggings and they have unicorns on them”
“Oh that reminds me I have a surprise for you when you come see me tonight”
“Ok I love you”
“I love you more babygirl” I take the phone off speaker and hold it up to my ear.
“Hey what’s up” I say
“Are you still coming?”
“I wasn’t at first but Sevyn practically begged me”
“I’m glad she did”
“Why”
“Because I miss seeing your face”
“Better not say that around your fiancé Mr. Rogers” he falls silent for a bit then clears his throat awkwardly.
“It’s a Mortons” he says
“Morton’s?!? If Sevyn wanted chicken tenders that’s $30”
“I’ll pay for her and you”
“I’m not asking you to pay for either of us I’m just saying that’s very expensive for a 5 year old”
“Mommy I’m almost 6”
“I know baby you got about a month”
“Y/N I got you both just please come”
“I’ll be there Steven”
“Ok” again there’s a smile in his voice. He hangs up and I shake my head pulling into the driveway of the house. I look in the rear view mirror and see Sevyn is asleep.
I get out and carry her in the house laying her down on the couch.
....
“Mommy can I wear my leggings and boots” Sev holds up the leggings and I nod
“What shirt” she thinks for a bit before shrugging her shoulder. Just like her father indecisive.
“Ok I’ll pick one” I grab a black shirt long sleeve shirt with ruffled roses. I get her dressed and put her curly hair into 2 puffballs resembling Mickey mouse ears.
“Ok go play while mommy gets dressed” she nods and runs out of my room. I get in the shower and shave my legs and everything else.
Once I’m out I put on lotion and I stand in front of my closet trying to decide what to wear. It’s chilly outside so I settle on a body hugging dress that stops at my thighs, some thigh high boots and a thick cardigan.
“Sevyn did you get your boots on”
“Yea” she comes out
“Ok let’s go” I grab my purse and her hand. We leave and I place her in the car.
...
I walk through into a dimly lit restaurant and the last at the front greets me.
“I’m here for Rogers” she points straight back and I thank her holding Sevyn’s hand.
Sevyn spots Steve and takes off. His bright smile lights up the whole room as she jumps in his arms. He hugs her tightly and kisses her cheek. I walk closer and see Sharon, Bruce, Clint, Bucky, Tony and Wanda.
I greet everyone then Sevyn hugs Bucky sitting on his lap. Steve opens his arms and out the corner of my eye I see Sharon drop her head.
“You look... nice” he looks at me up and down occasionally staring at my exposed thighs. His favorite.
“So do you” I smile. My seat just happens to be next to his and Sevyn comes over sitting next to me. I hand her the kids menu and she starts to color.
“So how have you been Y/N” Sharon says with a forced smile. I still hold a small grudge towards her. I steal a glance of her engagement ring gleaming in the light. I look at her eyes and fake a smile.
“I’ve been amazing just working and taking care of my little perfection here”
“So not to be rude but what are you doing here” she asks bluntly. All rudeness intended.
“Sharon” Steve says
“No I’m just curious”
“Well my ex-boyfriend and our daughter begged me to go so here I am” i smile scanning the menu. I see her huff and say something under her breath “what was that?”
“Oh nothing” I nod smiling
“That’s what the fuck I thought”
“Uncle Bucky what are you gonna eat”
“I’m gonna get steak” he smiles
...
“Mommy can we stay at Uncle Tony’s house tonight it’s like a sleepover”
“Please mommy” Tony smiles
“Sure I’ll get you in the morning”
“No mommy you too” Sev pouts. I sigh and nod.
“Yea I’m off tomorrow anyways”
“We’ll all sleep over” Steve says “right honey” Somehow honey is more demeaning than babydoll which is what he used to call me.
She’s hesitant at first and looks at me “Yea of course plus it’ll be nice spending time with my new stepdaughter- to- be” my eyebrows raise. Is this bitch serious.
“Listen I know legally speaking she may be your stepdaughter but she will never be yours point blank period and if you make even one mistake hurting my daughter in any way I’ll fuck you up super powers or not”
Her eyes go wide. Everyone knew I had “powers” except for her. It’s similar to what Nat has without the sterilization obviously. So yes I’m a trained assassin but I gave that up when I got pregnant with Sevyn.
Steve clears his throat and our food comes. I smile and begin cutting into Sevyn’s chicken.
There’s a awkward air that falls upon us and the room is filled with chatter and soft jazz music.
“Is it good” I ask quietly to Sevyn. She nods with a mouth full of chicken.
Once we finish our food Tony stands and raises his glass.
“I’d like to make a toast” we raise our glasses and listen “to Steve and Sharon on your lovely ride together and to Y/N for being the best badass mom I’ve ever encountered besides Pepper of course”
I smile to Pepper and she returns the favor. We raise our glasses higher and take a sip. The waiter brings the check but I don’t get one.
“Waiter I never got my check” I say sweetly
“Yes ma’am the gentleman right here offered to pay” he points to Steve and I look at him.
“Really? I told you I could pay” he pulls out his credit card while speaking to me.
“Well if I choose to pay for my daughter and her mothers meal then I will” he shoves his card in the book and smiles “and I’m not letting you pay me back”
“How do you know that’s what I was gonna say? I could’ve said ok”
“Y/N I know every bit of you like the back of my hand” I couldn’t help but think about our intimate times when he refers to ‘every bit’ of me.
I purse my lips and look down.
“Ok so everyone’s meeting at my house right?” Tony asks
“I gotta go home and get clothes but yea” I nod
“Great”
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zankivich · 5 years
Text
Neighbors: Shawn x Plus Size Reader Chapter 16
a/n: this felt good to write. It feels like a natural progression. it’s a lot of y/n and a lot of internal reflection. I hope you like that. I hope that it’s worth it in the end. I really tried to do them justice. 
Warnings: some really sad, angst smut. some internal reflection on past traumas. mentions of alcoholism. 
*y/n point of view*
“W--What?” He whispered. “Wait, what?”
“Shawn I--”
“Not right now! I just need a minute okay?!”
You listen to him to shuffle around probably in order to find a place to be alone. This definitely isn’t how you thought about telling the news. In fact you weren’t quite sure you’d ever share it with him at first. But, now he’s here offering you everything you ever wanted...at least up until twenty-four hours ago. And you can’t help but feel like it’s too late.
“Listen, I know I fucked up. I know I fucked up worse than anyone ever could but...we’re us! I can’t even imagine us not finding our way back to each other. There’s so much for us to talk about, and I have so much to make up for...Just let me come home and we can talk and--”
“There is no home anymore.” You interject.
You can hear his heart accelerating. This was usually the point where you reached for his hands to still them. He just happens to be on a different continent at the moment.
“Y/n what are you saying? Of course there is. We’re neighbors. We--We have each other’s keys.”
“I’m moving out of my apartment.” You blurted.
“You’re moving?” He gasped, voice a little shallower, a little more wet. “Honey you--you don’t need to do that. Please, don’t do that.  I know that I hurt you and I’m so unbelievably--”
“It’s not about you. Well, I guess maybe it kind of is, but not like that. Gina offered me a six month sabbatical. She’s gonna let me keep my salary, and I basically just get to travel the world I guess? Do some soul searching? I don’t know I’ve never really gone to many places besides Canada. Till I met you. This is my chance. To get a clean break, to figure out who the hell I want to be.”
You know it sounds like it’s a clean break from him, but it really isn’t. Or maybe it is. There’s far too many details for you to have it all figured out.
“That is...That’s so beautiful. I’m happy for you. It’s uh--it’s what you deserve.” He mumbled. “What does that mean then. For you and me.”
Wasn’t that the million dollar question?
“I think it means that...I’m gonna do my thing, and you’re gonna do yours.”
It sounded so much easier said than done. It sounded as if you hadn’t spent the past month crying over him, like your whole world hadn’t shattered the moment he left you.
“But I--I haven’t been able to breathe since you left.”
There’s a small part of you that finds comfort in his struggle. Not maliciously. But the break up had killed you in a way that no other moment in your life had ever quite accomplished. You felt like a little kid again, when everything that happened was the most important thing to ever happen. Shawn had made you feel like the world could be so much better than you ever thought. He had made you feel happy and special and important and sexy and everything that only you had been able to make yourself feel so long. And when he was gone, all of your training on how to do it yourself was gone. You felt shallow. Lost. Broken. Knowing that it might be possible that he felt the same way made you feel a little less crazy, if only a little.
“I wish that I could allow that to matter right now. I want that to matter but...I don’t think it’s healthy for me to put you first right now. And I don’t think it’s healthy for you to do it either.”
“But you’re...you’re my best friend. I love you so much.” He sniffled.
You closed your eyes as the tears found their way to you again. It’d been weeks and still you couldn’t control it.
“I love you too.” You sighed through the tears. “But maybe we need to learn how to do it on our own for a little while. Maybe that’s what you wanted when you left me and you just didn’t know how to say it.”
He’s silent for a long time. And you don’t know what to say so you stay silent too. It still hurts. There’s still a festering deep inside that you don’t know what to do with. And you don’t want to hate him because he means too much for that. So all you can do is hope and pray that he lets you do this, because it might be the only way to salvage your memories of him.
“Can I ask you something?” Shawn asked, voice soft and withdrawn.
You nodded as if he could see you.
“Yea.”
“Did you take your necklace off?”
It feels left field at first. You peer down at your neck where the swallow still is, and you think maybe you know what he’s getting at.
“No, I didn’t.”
He took a deep breath and let it go, voice a little lighter.
“Okay. Okay, if this is what you need then of course. I’d be a piece of shit to try and stop you. Whenever you’re ready just come find me. I’ll wait as long as you need.”
“Shawn what if--”
He interrupts you this time. “I’ll wait as long as you need, y/n. You’re all I’ve got to wait for.”
It’s final. He’s not willing to discuss it, and a part of you can’t help but want the security of hoping that he’ll still be there no matter what.
“Just don’t...don’t cancel your fucking tour idiot.” You huff. “You love music more than anything.”
“Not quite.” He admitted softly. “Not anymore.”
There’s another weighted silence between the two of them. Another round of having so many things that you want to say to someone, and there just not being enough time.
“I’m gonna go now. Congrats on the show tonight...you looked good.”
You can practically feel him smile. “You watched it?”
“I did. Good night, Shawn.”
“Good night, y/n.”
***
The first place that you fly to is coincidentally Italy. After a little research, it seemed to be a good time of year, less touristy, and you actually had some pretty good flyer miles after all the trips to see Shawn. You rent a small little place on airbnb near the water and it’s literally just you, just you and yourself and no one else. Sure, it wasn’t that different than life before your relationship, but in the aftermath of the break up it felt like a completely foreign concept. You woke up and the day was yours. There were no projects, no phone calls to be made, no marketing meetings or logistics. The most complicated part of your day was whether or not you were going to go down to the beach in a bikini or not. The answer was, abso-fucking-lutely you were.
There’s sunshine and warmth and so much fucking food everywhere. And you’re alone. And that’s okay. It needs to be.
At first it’s all about filling your day with things. You try out five different restaurants, go to three bars, and find a place to get gelato in between. All in one day. You post pictures on instagram with your tits out on full display in a bikini that was sure to make the masses upset, and you just didn’t care. You weren’t doing it for anyone, but yourself. It was your body and your happiness and you were responsible for both. At the end of the day you’d get back to the villa and pass out immediately. But, it meant you weren’t thinking, weren’t reveling, weren’t hurting. Or, so you thought.
You visit Rome, Venice, Florence, and Milan. You’re sitting on another beach somewhere with your toes in the sand and your body wet and warm on a towel when your phone starts to vibrate.
Shawn: Can we talk right now? Need to tell you something.
y/n: I suppose so.
“Hi.” He murmured softly.
And there it was. That thing in your tummy, whether it was a tightening of the muscles, or a flipping of your internal organs. It was a feeling that no one but him could ever make you feel with such ease.
“Hi.”
“You’re in Italy.” He noted. “It looks beautiful. I’ve always wanted to vacation there sometime.”
“How’d you know?”
“Oh you uh...your insta. All the pictures of the--the you know, sites and what not.”
You snorted and let your head nestle back into the comfort of your towel.
“Yes the sites. Surely this has nothing to do with the bikini pic I posted this morning.”
“Bikini, aye? No I guess I missed that one. Must be the timezones. I’m sure you look incredible though. Probably even breathtaking if I were to see it. Which, I have not yet.”
It is incredible how easy it is for the two of you. How quickly you can just fall into that comfort. He had really become your best friend more than anything, more than a lover even. When shit happened to you whether it was good or bad, you could never think of anyone else to talk to. Shawn was always your person. And that’s a hard habit to break.
“Okay big guy, why don’t you tell me what it is you need from me.”
“Right. Well I uh I’ve been writing a lot lately. And uhm, it’s been really helping me in terms of getting through the tour and trying to reestablish some of the passion that I felt like I lost.”
“Well that’s great. I’m glad you’re happy.”
“Sure, I guess. Thank you. The uh label wants to do a few releases while I’m on tour. The way music is being released in the digital spotify age now is so incredibly competitive that artists are kind of heading in the direction of having singles between albums.We can thank Ariana for that.”
You smiled softly. “I’m sure there’s a point in here somewhere.”
“Yes. It’s just that...all the songs that I’ve written are completely and totally about you and for you. And I know you’re in Italy and you might be going somewhere else soon, but I didn’t want the first time you here these lyrics to be on the radio somewhere. I wanted it to be because I shared them with you.If you’re willing. If you want to hear them.”
It’s a lot to ask, which definitely explains him wanting to call. In all of your time traveling you had yet to actually sit down and think through some of the hurt that Shawn had left you with. You hadn’t even begun to touch the whole, “is he the one thing”. The fear was that by listening to these songs it might set you back in your healing, in your ability to move on. If that was in fact what you were doing.
“I--I don’t know. Are they sad?” You mumbled.
He chuckled. “Well, If I Can’t Have You was originally a ballad with a super dramatic piano. I think I might have played it that night I called you? It was a lot sadder then. Teddy helped turn into what I’m being told is a ‘summer bop’. I’ve got both versions if you want to hear them”
“Will either of them help me understand you more?”
The real question of course being was it ever going to explain how he could be supposedly in love with her, and then drop her like a bad habit all at once.
He paused. “I’ll answer any question you have, honey. You know that.”
Yea. No thanks.
“‘M not ready.”
“Okay. Okay, that’s okay. I can be okay with that.How about I send you the files in an email and you just...just listen whenever you want. If you want. I’ll send you the release dates too.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. Well uh… I guess that’s all I had to say.”
“Goodbye Shawn.”
You tossed your phone into your beach bag and close your eyes stubbornly. You really needed to get him off your mind.
***
Your birthday finds you getting a deep tissue massage that is the most action you’ve gotten since leaving for the damn trip. It’s an insignificant birthday and you had been traveling so much that it doesn’t feel all that special in the grand scheme of things. You reply to the birthday texts. Do a facetime call with Stu so he knows you’re still alive. You get day drunk and walk through old cobble stoned streans looking at beautiful buildings and not having to say a word to anyone, because they wouldn’t even understand you if you tried. It’s lovely. Shawn doesn’t call and it’s fine. You’re fine.
There’s a beautiful restaurant that sits on the edge of a hill right where the sun melts into the earth as it sets. You feel oddly at peace as you eat, your sixth glass of wine from the day twirling in your fingers when your phone goes off.
Shawn: Hey?
y/n: Yea?
Shawn: I just wanted to say happy birthday. I planned on calling but I think you’re like 10 hours ahead of me right now and I’m stuck on vocal rest. I also didn’t really know if you’d want me to.
It soothes a broken part of you that thought that he’d forgotten. After All you’d never actually gotten to spend a birthday with him since you’d met in the fall. A part of you wants to cry a little bit, but you’re not drunk enough to be that honest with yourself.
y/n: No worries. You don’t owe me anything.
Shawn: Yea, well I never needed to owe you anything, I just always wanted to give you everything. I’m sorry we’re not spending this day together. It would’ve meant a lot to me to celebrate you.
y/n: yea. Probably would’ve been fun. We always knew how to party.
Shawn: I got you a present months ago but I can’t send it to your apartment anymore obviously, and I didn’t know what part of the world you would be in. Maybe you’ll let me give it to you someday.
He sends you a picture of this book. It’s got no words on the front, just a pretty smooth cover. It isn’t until he describes it to you that your whole world falls apart. He’d somehow managed to scrape together the recipe for every single thing you’d ever made together, or for him, and had someone make it into an actual book. It was literally a story of your relationship and your love through the thing that mattered to you most. He had left some empty pages in the hope that you would continue it together. And that just stung worse than anything.
The waiter sends you a very worried glance as you begin to sob over your pasta. But really, what else was the alternative? What other result could there have been?
Y/n: well shit Shawn. That’s really fucking sweet. I’m sobbing over my bolognese.
Shawn: I never wanted to make you cry. I’ve only ever wanted to make you happy. I love you. I know it’s not fair right now. But it’s my truth.
Y/n: I know, Shawn. I know.
Shawn: I didn’t mean to mess with you on your birthday. We can talk another time. Just have fun alright? Buy a round on me okay?
Y/n: I’ll do my best. Bye Shawn.
Shawn: Bye.
He venmos you enough to buy a round for a whole damn bar. You try not to think about how much it hurts when you find a place to take a shot. You try not to think about him at all.
***
You’re drunk. You’re in a foriegn city that is so beautiful it hurts and your body is full of alcohol. You kind of want a french fry. There’s man on the dance floor who’s been eyeing you all night and it hasn’t even occurred to you to give him the time of day. Even now, right now, if it weren’t for how good the music was you probably would’ve gone home. But instead you let him buy you a drink. And you let him take you on the dance floor. He’s good with his hips and he’s good at manipulating your body. It’s fun.
You’re wearing a dress that stops mid thigh and he tugs at the fabric as you grind to the beat. You’re not sure where the cut off is, where it goes from being dancing and fun to this level of discomfort. Perhaps it’s when your mind sends you an image of Shawn at New Year’s doing the cabbage patch for you. Perhaps it was the reminder than no one but Shawn had touched your body in months, and that you have been so fucking okay with that fact. For whatever reason you pull away from the guy and stumble home with tears of frustration, bitterness, and a little hurt in your eyes. You’re still not processing. You’re deflecting.
In your bed that night you can’t help but reach for the phone, your fingers doing things that a sober you hopefully would’ve known better about. But in the moment your fingers are tugging at this thong that Shawn had pulled off with his teeth once and when it comes to wanting and longing, he’s the only one that you can find yourself reaching for.
“Y/n? Sweetheart it’s two oclock in the morning.” Shawn groaned across the line. “What’s wrong?”
You peer over at the alarm clock on the bedside table. Wherever he is, you’re in the same time zone oddly enough. Maybe it was fate instead of a stupid ass drunken decision.
“I can’t fuck anyone else.” You mumbled.
“I’m sorry?”
“I can’t...I can’t even think about the prospect of sex without your big fucking head in the picture.”
You giggle a little to yourself fingers probing gently at your entrance. He was silent for a long while, long enough for your drunk mind to startle when he finally speaks.
“Were you...was there someone?” He asks quietly.
You roll your eyes up at the ceiling. “No. Just some guy I danced with for a song or two.I don't even remember what he looked like.”
He takes a deep breath and you wonder aimlessly what the hell you would do if he fucked someone else. How that might make you feel. You’d rather just fuck him instead.
“Well, it sounds like you’ve been drinking. Are you somewhere safe?”
“Yes. Where are you?”
“I’m in my hotel room, honey. It’s the middle of the night.”
Men. So naive.
“I miss you.” You hinted.
“I miss you too, y/n. So much.”
Your thighs clenched in agitation and you huffed up at the ceiling.
“No Shawn. I miss you. Please try to keep up here.”
It takes him a minute.
“Oh...oh. I don’t know about that. You’ve been drinking.”
“Have you ever known me to do something that I don’t want to do?” You asked him. “I’m consenting, Shawn.”
“I--I know I just...I don’t want you to ever regret us. Or anything that we’ve done. I’ve made such a mess of things, y/n. And I really, really want to be able to fix them. I love you.”
You’re not exactly in a talking mood. This isn’t about anything more than the fact that you need to get off and for whatever horrid reason, he’s the only one you can do that with. There’s still something ugly and mean in your heart. And you’ve not yet reached a place where anything positive is going to come out of this.
“Look, this is a virtual booty call. Nothing more, nothing less. Either you can do the one thing that you’ve never hurt me with, or I can go to bed a little frustrated. It’s up to you.”
It’s manipulative. You’re tapping into his incessant need to make you happy, and also into this very wounded part of himself that knew that he’d failed you, knew that he’d done something wrong. None of this is healthy. None of this is okay. But you don’t care. You just want to get off, and yea maybe you wouldn’t mind if it hurt him a little bit too.
“Okay. Okay, what do you want me to do?” He whispered.
“I want you to touch yourself.” You hum fingers dipping into your core where you’re already wet and needy. “Just like I am.”
There’s something about it being something that you’ve never done before that makes it feel not as wrong. Shawn was a little skittish about saving anything to his phone, so sexting and phone sex had never gone on the table. Tonight you’re just tapping into the ability to make each other feel something, to make each other reach heights that no one else can.
“I miss stroking you,” You admit softly.
He sighed. “Really?”
“Yea. You always get hard so quickly for me. I just have to trace my finger over that one vein and your thigh always twitches. Is it twitching now?”
His voice is a little lighter.
“Y--Yea.”
“Do you miss my mouth on you?”
“God, y/n. Of course I do. No one’s ever sucked me off like you before. You take me so good.”
You bite your lip to stifle the moans and it’s only because he’s not there to make you be loud, to tug at your lip with his thumb as he pounds you. But then you remember the reason he’s not there and it’s like starting all over again.
“Want you to touch me.” you mumbled trying to clear your mind. “What would you do?”
Shawn at first glance was the adorable puppy dog type. That surely didn’t translate to the bedroom. He had said some of the filthiest things to you with a single curl hanger over his eye and no one, not even his fans who seemed to know where he was at every waking moment, was around to witness it. Even now, with all of the distance--both physical and emotional--between you, he can still get you going immediately.
“I guess I’d just want to eat you out. I love the way that you taste. And the way you always coat my mouth with your juices. I just...fucking love pleasing you. Nothing gets me harder than when you grind against my face and make yourself cum.”
Your back arches and you groan out into your hotel room.
“God when you bump your nose against my clit, it drives me crazy. And when you suck on my thighs?”
“Fuck. Love marking you up. I miss the way you cry out for me when I make you squirt. Have you squirted since we made love last?”
You bit your lip an upset feeling hitting your stomach that you couldn’t rationalize, couldn’t understand. So you just tried to make it go away.
“No. No one makes me squirt like you.”
“Miss you.” He whined, voice breathy and desperate. “Miss the way you clench around me when I’m inside you.”
Your fingers speed up on your clit, your hips buck a little bit. He’s getting you there already and it’s wild.
“Fuck, Shawn!”
“Are you close?”
“Mhm. Are you?”
“Yea. Fuck baby I wish you were here.”
“Shut up. Not now. Just make me cum.”
Your words both turn to pants as you grunt and cry out for one another. Your orgasm builds in your toes and ripples through your entire body. It’s the first orgasm you’ve had since Amsterdam. For a moment it’s just the two of you trying to catch your breath. You’re drunker than you were an hour ago. There’s no doubt. He makes you fucking crazy.
“Y/n...What was that?” Shawn mumbled.
“I don’t know. I--I don’t know. I gotta go. Good night.”
***
There’s a bad taste in your mouth when you wake up the next day. Part of it is whatever the hell you drank the night before, which was quite frankly a little hazy. But, there’s something else there too. And you’re not even sure what it is at first. You’re naked in bed and the sun shines in through the windows so you dive under the covers to get away from it. And that’s where your phone is. That where it all sort of falls apart.
Shawn: Hey I’m sure you’re still asleep but I can’t really get this off my mind and I just needed to be honest with you.
Shawn: I can’t do that, whatever that was last night, again. Idk why but it just made me feel weird. I kinda feel like maybe you were using me or trying to get back at me? Which I guess I deserve
Shawn: I know I fucked everything up. The thing is is that I love you. I never stopped. And I don’t think I ever could. So just go figure your shit out. However long that takes, and I’ll be here waiting. But we probably shouldn’t talk for a while. I think it could help us both. I love you honey. So much. Have a great rest of your trip.
Your heart drops to your stomach as all the memories come rushing back. And it wasn’t just him being able to make you cum at all. It was his hesitance. It was the intimate sharings of your thoughts and feelings for him when your relationship was in such disarray. You told him things that night that had never come up, and he offered you the same. It wasn’t the right space, and yet you had given him an ultimatium as if him having phone sex with you would help anything.  He seemed to know you better than you knew yourself. Somehow you had hurt the both of you last night and you had nothing to show for it. If Shawn was willing to go without speaking though it meant you had truly, deeply hurt him. You had thought that might help make you feel better, but it had the opposite effect of course.
You don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything. And you can only hope that that doesn’t hurt him even more.
***
You take a ferry to Barcelona. And listen to Ed Sheeran’s Barcelona far too long. You spend a long time looking at the water and applying sunscreen and trying to remember another time in your life where you felt so out of touch. In college you had been entirely school focused, except for all the drunk shenanigans you and Stu would get up to. And then it had been the career and making yourself stable enough to never have to return home. Somewhere along the line after one too many assholes, you had stopped trying to find a relationship entirely. So you did hook ups, you did casual sex, and that was it. And that had been perfectly fine.
The problem with Shawn was that he had created a need in your heart that you weren’t prepared for. His yearning to know you in all of your complexities, to be there for you, to support you. No one had ever offered that before. And it wasn’t that you’d grown used to it necessarily, but dammit you had begun to try. It just so happened that for every wall he knocked down, there were five more already up and at attention. You weren’t perfect by any means. You were honestly probably a little fucked in the head. But you loved him. You had given in at some point. And he let you down. So, why in the entire hell should you allow him the opportunity to do it again?
There seemed to be a part of you that was jumping up and down and screaming, “I told you so!”. It hurt. It hurt so bad. You kept reliving the moment when it connected for you. When you realized that he was leaving you, he was just too much of a coward to say it out loud. You weren’t good enough. Not for Shawn. Maybe not for anyone long term. The thing that you had known all along from the beginning had come true with such startling reality. You had just been beginning to let go. You weren’t sure that you could do that again.
You stay at this beautiful bed and breakfast type place that was nestled right in the heart of the city where all of the museums and the shops were. You visit the La Boqueria, this large market that seemed to serve anything known to human. You spent an entire afternoon at one of the bars drinking and watching the locals. It was revitalizing in a way.You read books and sit in cafes and look at the architecture of everything around you. It’s all sort of beautiful and historical and vastly different than home. It’s perfect there.
It’s at one of the cafes that you meet her. You’re sitting there in a crop top and shorts reading a book when she comes over to you. She’s got a headscarf on that is this brilliant shade of red and gold. Her skin is a rich bronzed color that is elevated by a full face of makeup with a highlight that could cut stone. She’s maybe one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen in your life. And she walks up to you of all fucking people. Needless to say you’re a little tongue lied.
“You are American no?” She asked.
“Uhhh...no. No actually I’m Canadian. We’re the nicer versions.”
She giggled. You smiled.
You hadn’t stumbled across many people who spoke english. So you welcomed anyone willing to pity you with a conversation.
“Canadian. Ah, okay. Well, Canadian girl, I cannot help but notice how sad you look. What’s wrong with you?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Well damn, is it that obvious?”
“I would say yes. Can I sit?”
She doesn’t wait for an answer before she’s already sitting across from you. In canada, you could offer someone a seat and they’d apologize before sitting down. What a culture shock.
“I’m sorry. You are one of the most beautiful humans I’ve ever seen, and I’ve apparently been to the grammys. However, I’m a little confused as to what I can do for you?”
She smiled again. “Why thank you! My friend from the UK sent me a fenty highlighter. They’re not available here yet. Does Riri not know that I need to sparkle? Anyway I’m not sure you can do anything for me. I think it may be what I can do for you. So, what can I do for you?”
“I’m...confused.”
“My grandmother grew up here. I used to spend my summers with her until I moved here entirely to take care of her. My mama, she would always say, sometimes there is a need that cannot be seen, cannot be named, but it can be felt. And when you feel it, you must give into it. It is the only way to fix the issue. I feel your need, Canadian girl. I am here to help.”
“Y/n. My name is y/n.” You snorted softly.
“Y/n, I am Priyanka. Girl you should, as the internet tells me, spill the tea.”
Oh lord.
You peered at her in caution. She didn’t scream crazy fangirl, but that certainly didn’t mean anything. She seemed to be in touch with popular culture enough to know who Shawn was. You could only imagine flying back home only to find out that you had accidentally aired all of your dirty laundry directly to the tabloids. But also, she was kind of nice. And still startlingly gorgeous. And there really couldn’t be a ton of pressure there, because you didn’t know her at all. What was the worst that she could do? Leave the table and judge you only for you to never see her again? You had gone at this trip to find some healing, to hopefully recenter yourself a little bit. How could you manage that without a little effort?
And so you tell her. Not that you were kinda sorta dating Shawn Mendes, but that you were dating a guy in the industry whose job was very demanding, as was yours. It is the first time you’ve ever laid it all out word for word, and it’s kind of exhausting to share. But, it also takes a little weight off your shoulders. She doesn’t look at you like you’re crazy after all, which makes it go down a lot smoother.
“So he loves you? But he breaks up with you...because he loves you so much?” She asked. “That is pretty dumb.”
You threw your hands up in excitement.
“Exactly! That is exactly what I said!”
“But, he has come back to you. He has apologized. He has told you that he loves you and only you, that you are the love of his life. Yet you are in Barcelona. How come?”
You felt your excitement fade away and your face scrunch up slightly.
“Well… I can’t just take him back.”
She tilted her head. “Why not?”
“Because! Because he--he hurt me. If I take him back he could hurt me again.”
“But isn’t that what love is? Taking the chance that you may end up hurt, but doing it anyway? You have to put trust in him, to believe that even though he could hurt you that he won’t.”
“Isn’t that just allowing him the opportunity to hurt me again? Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me?”
She shrugged. “People always have the ability to hurt us. But if you close yourself off and never open yourself up again, how can you expect anything to change?”
“So you think I should go back to him?” You asked.
“That is not my decision to make. But what if he is this so called love of your life, and you refusing him because of an act of desperation that somewhat had good intentions hurt you? What if you’re throwing something good away?”
You had a feeling Priyanka and Shawn would have gotten along wonderfully. They were both people who viewed the cup as half full while you couldn’t ever seem to get over all the empty space. It was quite exhausting to ever try and prove them wrong either. Optimism. In this economy? Can you imagine?
“I don’t know.” You mumbled to yourself playing with the edges of your book. “I love him. Of course I love him. How could I not? I think I’m just afraid that if I let myself love him the way that he wants, the way that he deserves that...it’s gonna go wrong somewhere. I’ve never ever had it not go wrong.”
“That’s okay. That’s a real emotion. You get hurt enough times, you want to protect yourself. I’m just saying in this particular instance you might not need protecting.” She shrugged. “In fact, you know what? He might fuck up again. Men are dumb, we know this. It might all fall to crap a week from now, a year from now, three years from now. Who’s to say? But I guess the question is, is it worth it to enjoy the good times and to put a little belief in yourself and in your relationship?”
At the end of the conversation, your head hurt a little bit and your heart throbbed dully in your chest. Usually you would’ve crawled into Shawn’s arms and hid your face in his chest, the gentle hum of his heart beat lulling you into serenity. He would play with your hair and he would whisper/sing into your ear. He would tell you that he loved you, or that you were pretty, or whatever other ridiculous things came out of that man’s mouth on a daily basis. It was another one of those times where you were in pain; you were sad, and you couldn’t have the one person who knew how to make it all better. Suddenly you missed him more than ever.  And even in Barcelona, in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, you ached for home. For him.
Dammit.
***
Priyanka takes you to buy a journal. Apparently you’re friends now? Or at least she’s taking pity on you. She explained that for someone so angsty who internalized everything you should probably have a place to release or you were sure to explode. She didn’t seem to recognize that that might be mean so you just rolled with the punches. She takes you to the beach and you lay out in the sun together while she forces you to write about yourself. It is about as fun as one might imagine.
“What the fuck am I supposed to write about?” You huffed glaring at the blank page before you.
She snorted and reset her headscarf which was a gorgeous teal color today that blended perfectly into her bathing suit.
“Anything. Just make it personal. Why don’t you pick something you’ve never talked to anyone about and start there. You don’t need to be scared at all because it’s just who gets to read it.”
You were for certain Priyanka had stumbled into your life only to make it more difficult. She seemed to thrive on it actually. But, then again here you were taking life advice from a practical stranger anyway.
You decide to start with the first time you recognized that being fat was a bad thing. It was a visceral memory, one that you didn’t bring up too often, but one that had been instrumental to the woman you had grown to become. It was third grade. You had just turned eight. Your dad had been gone for three months, and your mom had started letting you help her in the kitchen after school. All of your brothers would go outside and play hockey with the kids across the street, or basketbal, or whatever other dumb game with a ball existed. You hated it. You just wanted to sit inside with your mom and make something.
You brought homemade cupcakes for your birthday. And you were so incredibly proud because you had helped make them! These were the product of your labor. But when it came time to eat and celebrate, Jenna Bartman came up to you to get her cupcake and laughed at you. Y/n you should probably give all the cupcakes away. Everyone knows you’ve eaten plenty. And all of the kids still left in the line laughed with her. You peered down at your tummy and it didn’t look like Jenna’s, didn’t look like most of the other girls in the class. You didn’t bake for an entire year after that. It didn’t mean you didn’t eat, you still snuck cookies from the jar up into your room when your brother wasn’t there to see you. But it was the first time that you had ever been told that what you were was bad, that you shouldn’t get to exist in the manner that made you most happy if it made others uncomfortable.
Fast forward to eighteen years old. Your first boyfriend in highschool. If you could even call him that. He didn’t want anyone at school to know that you were together. And he would only come over when your brothers weren’t around, which meant spending a lot of time in the garage. Not very sexy.
You had decided that you were comfortable and willing to have sex for the first time. You were going to go over to his place after school. His parents were gone and everything. The second that you got up to his room though, he closed all of the blinds and shut the lights off. C’mon babe. We don’t need to see all that. Let’s just do it already. The least enthusiastic five minutes of your life. You’d never told anyone that story before. Not stu. Not even Shawn.
And then there was your transformation in college. You excelled in your major, held the top GPA and graduated with departmental honors. You started to believe in your abilities, in this tiny vision that you created for yourself. You started dressing differently, started taking really important steps to love your body, to be kind to yourself. And it had these amazing ramifications, which was that the more you were kinder to yourself the happier that you ended up being. In college you fell in love with yourself and that’s when you started to shine. Your relationships with others became better as a result. The relationships that you had whether intimate or platonic thrived, because you were thriving. It was the happiest you had ever been and it completely altered your life. But, even in your quest to love yourself there were a lot of things you left behind just so you didn’t have to deal with them anymore.
Your hand is cramping when you set the pen off to the side. You’d scribbled pages and pages of words. At some point, Priyanka had gone off to swim leaving you there. When the words had run dry, you threw your journal to the side and joined her. If there was one thing you were grateful for, it was your ability to love yourself in spite of all things. You had grown to thrive on your own, to give yourself everything that no one else had ever bothered to give you. And it wasn’t necessarily about a need to be a relationship, or this idea that love from someone else is better than self-love. Maybe it was just that self-love doesn’t have to be the only love, and that you can love yourself enough to let others love you too. There wasn’t any weakness in that.
***
 You’re in a bar listening to Priyanka try to explain why you should order this supposed magical cocktail that cures the soul when you hear his voice. At first you don’t even recognize that it’s music, so you flick your head around thinking that he’s standing behind you. Instead it’s his new single. Even in Barcelona you can’t escape him. It doesn’t help that the entire bar immediately starts to gravitate to the song. It’s kind of a bop after all. Until you start to listen to the words anyway.
I can't write one song that's not about you
Can't drink without thinkin' about you
Is it too late to tell you that
Everything means nothing if I can't have you?
You always thought the first time Shawn might write a song for you would be this incredibly sappy, and hopefully beautiful, love song. That had been his promise afterall to write whole love songs for you. You never could have imagined that what you would get instead was a piano ballad he sang you completely hammered through a phone one night, but over some uplifting beat. It almost didn’t sound like the same song, granted you hadn’t gone back and listened to the files he sent you like he asked. It was so weird to watch people dance and have fun to a song that was about the destruction of your relationship. Watching people enjoy it just made it hurt more.
“Can we uh...Can we go to a different bar please?” You murmured in Priyanka’s ear.
She stared at you like you were crazy.
“But we just got here! And this song is incredible!”
“No Pri,forreal. Can we leave?”
She takes one look at you and seems to get it. You hope down off your seats and clear the bar as Shawn continues to tell the world what he’d just barely been able to tell you.
Even in the hurt there’s a bit of pride and you find yourself reaching for your phone. Maybe it isn’t pride at all. Maybe it’s desperation. Who knows
Y/n: I know we’re not speaking, but your new song was playing at a bar in Barcelona. Thought you’d wanna know.
You don’t expect him to answer, can’t imagine him answering after the last time you two spoke. Priyanka leads you to another bar by your hand and you swear you’re not peering down at your phone every two seconds
Shawn: Barcelona?! I’m gonna tell Andrew right now. That’s incredible.
y/n: Yes you can imagine my surprise when I heard your voice and turned around and you weren’t there. You were right though. Definitely a summer bop.
You take a couple shots of tequila that burn like jet fuel and watch Priyanka’s much smaller form get hammered very quickly before he responds again.
Shawn: I’m sorry if it surprised you in a negative way. That’s not fair.
Y/n: It did a bit at first but...It was nice to hear a familiar voice.
Shawn: I’ll try to believe that. Are you finding yourself out there?
Y/n: Something like that. Think maybe I’m just coming to terms with who I was all along, just had to do a little digging.
Shawn: Just as long as you’re happy. That’s all that matters to me.
y/n: I am.
***
You have a dream about your dad one night. It’s odd because you hadn’t dreamed of your father since you were in college. You had sort of buried him away. Maybe that’s why he was coming back now, as you unearthed all of these parts of yourself, somehow you had let him out too. It’s not a super deep dream. He’s just there with you in Toronto. He’s in your apartment that you no longer own, and he’s sitting on your couch. And you’re so angry, but in that dream like way where you don’t even understand why. You start to yell at him. Not about leaving you, not about abandoning your whole family, and the hell he inflicted. You’re yelling at him because his feet are on the table. It is the weirdest fucking thing in the world. And then you wake up.
When you wake up the sun is just beginning to peek through the clouds, the rest of the earth this beautiful purplish bruised color. You reach for your journal and head for the water and the sand. Being a Pisces really came in handy when traveling. And the waves seemed to not just pull you in, but to pull you outside of yourself. So, you sit down and you write about your dad for the first time.
When you were a child, you were the last one to give up hope on your dad. Your brothers were old enough to see his illness for what it was, or at least angry enough to not give a shit anymore. You on the other hand had loved him so much that it took such a long time for you to actually see it for what it was. Everytime he fell asleep drunk on the couch you were the one to pull his shoes off from the bar. When everyone else would yell at him for the reason they were broke, you used to sneak him your allowance from mom. You had loved your dad fully and unconditionally. So, when he left, and let for good, it had completely and utterly destroyed you. Everyone else had been right. You were wrong. He didn’t love you, at least not enough to stay or take you with him. It was the hardest thing for you to face and you were only seven goddamn years old.
And to believe that that wouldn’t have an affect on your relationships with other people in your life is so wildly naive. To walk through life having never sat down and genuinely reflected on what that pain had meant for you? How had it done any good? You were terrified of letting people in. Terrified that something was gonna happen one day, that you could give them everything in the world, and it still wouldn’t be enough. People leave. They always leave. Hell, you left. Left Ontario. Left your brothers. Left your mom. Maybe you weren’t too far off from your dad after all. And maybe, maybe that was the fear that you had never addressed before. What if one day you were the one who deserved to be left? What if?
***
*Shawn’s point of view*
It’s his birthday. The not so big, pretty irrelevant 24. But a birthday nonetheless. He’s in New York and it seems like a pretty good place to have a good time. They’ve rented a couple of party buses and planned a list of clubs to go to. He doesn’t have the heart to tell anyone he’d rather go to dinner and call it night, so he’s playing along. In truth he’s been doing so much better as the days go by and the shows are better and the fans scream longer. It’s weird to try and find love in the thing that felt responsible for his pain, to nurse himself with the very thing that had made it all go wrong. But, it was all that he had. If he didn’t have her, this was it. And he needed to remind himself that there was something good here for him. He had to.
He’s in his hotel room with Brian getting ready when there’s a knock on the door. It’s Andrew. He had neglected to join the party for the night, but made promises to do a dinner or something just the two of them. Instead he’s standing at his door holding a box.
“Awwww did you get me a present?” He snorted as Andrew set the box down on the bed.
“Not quite. You’re 24 and a millionaire, what would I get you? But the hotel delivered this to my room and it’s from Madrid, so I think it might actually be for you?”
He only knew one person who could possibly be in Madrid. He feels his spine strengthen and his heart beat ramp up and his stomach flutter. They hadn’t spoken since June. She had no reason to send him anything, not after the last conversation they had. For a while, after her virtual booty call concept, he had thought it might be the end of them. That her refusal to respond was a glaring sign that she was done with him.  That had been the absolute worst for him. But, he was a cup half full kind of guy, and had quickly convinced himself that no contact at all also meant she couldn’t tell him she was moving to Barcelona for good and she’d never see him again.
Andrew and Brian watch him as he sits on the bed. The box is taped pretty badly, and he just see her sitting there in frustration and proceeding to wrap the whole thing in tape for added measure. He missed watching her eyebrows furrow in irritation. He thought it was the cutest damn thing in the world. Surely enough, it’s addressed to Andrew, but the curliness of the letters are a hundred percent y/n’s. She must’ve looked through the travel packet he’d given her back when he thought she was going to visit him all the time.
He used a knife from the room service they got for lunch earlier and ripped impatiently at the box. The smell that hits him is like the ocean, a little salty and warm. But he can also smell lavender, and he swears if Brian and Andrew weren’t there, he would have cried. On top is a card which is really just a piece of card stock with her hand writing on it.
I would’ve baked you a cake, but I didn’t think it would travel well.
I hope this works alright. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to celebrate.
Take a shot of tequila for me? Or 5. Don’t worry about your voice, you’ll be fine.
Have a wonderful Birthday, Shawn. Love you.
-y/n
He can’t help but laugh at it. It was so her. To wish him a happy birthday and somehow slip in permission to get hammered. Suddenly he was extremely homesick for her apple pie. And her arms wrapped around him. And her heart.
She got him an anthology on meditation and holistic medicine. It’s in English surprisingly enough, and it’s massive. But he knows he’ll read every word. There’s a new rosary necklace for him that he immediately slips on over his head to nestle alongside their swallow. There’s also just a bunch of polaroids  from all the places that she must have been visiting. He had told her one time in the most intimate moments that they used to share, after they’d made each other climax and would just lie in bed sharing secrets until sleep took them away. He told her this silly dream he had of doing photography. He loved pictures of different buildings and cultures. Her sharing her journey with him felt so deeply personal, especially because he knew what she was out there trying to find. It’s the kindest thing she could have given him.
Shawn: Andrew just delivered your package. It was incredibly sweet. You didn’t need to do that, but I’m so so glad you did. It’s the best thing I could have gotten today.
He tries not to set up any expectations that she’ll respond to him. Afterall she’s already given him so much more than he deserved. It doesn’t stop him from checking his phone every three minutes just in case he had somehow missed the vibration. And it certainly doesn't stop his heart from leaping into his throat when he’s two shots in and she responds.
Y/n: No worries. It cost me triple what I paid for the gift just to send it. I wasn’t sure if they’d actually give it to Andrew or not. Glad it worked out. Are you drunk yet?
Shawn: working on it. Where are you right now?
Y/n: I’m in a town called Cerdanya. It’s very beautiful. It’s like half Spain, half France. I’m in the France part.
Shawn: Sounds beautiful. You haven’t posted on insta in a long time.
y/n: You worried about me?
Shawn: Always.
y/n: well take a night off for me would you? It’s your bday. Go have fun.
Shawn: I’ll try. Am I ever gonna see you again?
y/n: You leos. So dramatic. I think I’m in a really good place actually. Maybe I’ll text you when we’re both back in town.
Shawn: Please do.
y/n: I will. Promise.
***
*One month later*
y/n: I’m flying back to Toronto tomorrow.
Shawn: Really? I’m actually home right now.
y/n: Yea I know. Your whereabouts are kind of google-able.
Shawn: Right. Duh. Do you need someone to pick you up from the airport?
y/n: Bryan and Stu already offered.
He felt like a teenager trying to talk to the pretty girl at school and royally fucking it up. What a fucking idiot.
Shawn: Can I take you out for coffee when you get back?
y/n: are you sure you’re not busy? With the show and everything?
Shawn: Let me take you out for coffee. I could never be too busy for that.
Y/n: Ok. I’ll text you.
He’s sitting at a table, his legs shaking up a storm. He couldn’t sit still for shit, kept looking out the window every two seconds, and had even burnt his tongue on his coffee in a desperate attempt to find something to do. This was it. This was everything he’d been waiting for. Either she was going to break his heart, or she was going to make  him the luckiest guy on earth. There were no other options.
He catches her walking up the street and his heart spasms in his chest. He can tell that she’s gotten nothing but sun these past months because she’s absolutely golden. And she’s wearing all white like she knows that it’ll drive him crazy. Of course it’ll drive him crazy. A fucking pant suit with long flowy jacket and a camisole the color of periwinkle. She looks like a goddamn goddess.
She walks in and he just stands up immediately because he doesn’t know what else to do, hasn’t seen her in so long he feels like he’s gone mad without her. And there really is no thinking when it comes to her. He wraps her up in his arms immediately. He can’t do anything but smile at her and try to re-familiarize himself with her entire being. Shit, it’s like she got more beautiful while she was away.
“Hi.” He breathed, and it felt like the first breath he’d taken since she told him she was leaving.
She smiles and his arms tighten around her. It’s like no time has passed at all, like his love had only grown in her absence.
“Hi.”
“You’ve got freckles.” He chuckled letting his fingers skim hesitantly along her nose.
She scrunches it, like she always used to. He dies a little.
“Yea. They only come out in the sun though.”
“And your hair. It got lighter. It’s so pretty.” He hummed.
She’s running her fingers up and down his back and he just wants to pull her into bed and cuddle for a day or two. Now that she’s in front of him, he can’t even believe that he let her go. Six months. And all of the time after Amsterdam. How the hell did he let her go?
They stare at each other far too long in the middle of this coffee shop, but he figures if he just keeps staring at her than she won’t have time to destroy him.
“So uh coffee?” She giggled peering up at him from underneath her lashes.
He nearly groaned. It was too much already and all she did was laugh at his awkwardness.
“Right. Right! I would’ve ordered for you but I didn’t know how long you might be. Sit, I’ll get it for you. Do you wanna share a croissant?”
“Sure. Thank you.”
He’s more nervous than he was on their first date. It’s almost as if fucking up the order, or not grabbing her a napkin, could somehow change whatever she’d come here to say. He sets her white mocha on the table for her, and puts the croissant in the middle. The moment he sits down, there’s nothing left to do or say. He just has to listen. At least he knows that he owes her that.
“I uh...I guess I don’t know where to start.” She murmured, peering down at her cup.
He nodded. “Maybe you could just start with what you were trying to find when you left? And maybe whether or not you found it.”
She takes a deep breath and her hand moves from the table to the back of her neck to her necklace. And the second he sees the swallow his heart speeds up. Relax. Listen. Breathe.
“Well, I was doing really well at work technically. But Gina could see that I was using my job as a crutch to not have to deal with my pain. And I think that’s why she sent me on the sabbatical. I guess what I didn’t realize at the time was that I’ve always done that. I don’t like to be hurt, obviously. But more than that I don’t like to be weak. So, when you hurt me I was trying to--to pretend that I could be alright with you. And I was trying to learn from my mistakes so that I could make sure you, or no one else could do it again. But I think maybe I over corrected.
“I left because...I needed to figure out, like why my defense mechanism is to cut people off immediately. Like why am I twenty-six years old with one best friend and no one else? Not that I even want a whole bunch of friends, but I’ve never even tried to hang with someone besides Stu or Bryan. Why am I so incapable of letting people in? I spent such a long part of my life learning to be kind to myself, learning to protect my mental and emotional health because of trauma and because of hurt that I never learned how to let others do it too. I never learned what it could look like to let someone love me and not resent them for it. You. You were my first time trying.”
It’s instinctual that when she puts her hand on the table he reaches for it. He needed to show her how much he cared, how much love and respect he had for her. And when she intertwines their fingers and plays with his ring, it feels like an acknowledgement of that.
“I met this woman named Priyanka in Barcelona? I ended up spending like a whole month there just because of her.” She smiled softly. “And she made me keep this journal and she had me write all the things I was always too afraid to tell anybody.”
“Like what?” He asked softly just to keep her talking. “If you want to share. you definitely don’t have to.”
“Like...Like I never dealt with the pain of my dad leaving because I didn’t want to have daddy issues. I didn’t want to let him have power over me. The way that he left, and it took me so fucking long to see that he was wrong, that to me felt like weakness. I had let him give me whatever love he wanted and all it did was hurt me in the end. So, I guess in my mind allowing someone to love you meant that they could hurt you and if you let them do that then you were weak. And I guess that just equated to love being weakness.”
It’s like the most he’s ever heard her talk. She had clearly spent so much time reflecting and unearthing the parts of herself that she’d stored away for so long. Now it was like she was pulling out all of the individual pieces and sharing them with him. When he had begged her to just let him love her, and she had tried with all of her might, never had she ever done this. It’s like he’s seeing her in all her entirety for the first time. And it’s only making him fall even more in love with her.
He’s leaning his face on his hand and he’s just staring at her, listening to her say all of these thoughts in that big ass beautiful head of hers that he’s always wanted to know. It’s the greatest gift she could ever give him, and it makes every moment she was away worth it. If only she got to be a better version of herself, got to feel more confident in who she was. And not for him, not for anyone, but for her own happiness.
“You look so happy.” He smiled at her. “It all sounds incredible, y/n. I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m really proud of myself.” She giggled again.
God she was so fucking cute.
“Hey, that night that I called you drunk--”
“Don’t even mention it. I understood where you were coming from.”
She frowned at him and it’s the first time that she’s not smiling. He literally had to restrain himself from reaching out to touch her lips. What a shit show.
“No. No you deserve an apology. I was drunk, sure, but my willingness and eagerness to inflict pain on you, that was all me Shawn. I knew you wouldn’t want to hurt me by saying no. I mean that’s so not okay. We were always open and honest with each other when it came to being intimate. I--I would never want you to pretend that what I did was okay.” She assured him. “I’m sorry, okay? I mean that.”
He nods and squeezes at her fingers again. “Okay. It was a shitty feeling. Mostly it was shitty that I felt like I deserved it, felt like even if that was all you were willing to give me than I should just take it. But I don’t like--I don't hold it against you. We were in a really shitty space. I forgive you.”
“Okay. Well thank you.”
He nodded softly. “ Have you thought at all about--I mean do you think you could ever forgive me? For what I did? For not handling things right? For messing it all up?”
“It took me such a long time. I was terrified of how in love with you I was. And I just was like waiting for the other shoe to drop for so long. I kept having to fight myself everytime you wanted me to be more open with you, and wanting to give you everything that you asked for because I loved you so much.”
“‘Loved’?” He asked hesitantly.
She sighed. “Shawn, even if I was waiting on the other shoe to drop I...never could have actually thought that you would hurt me the way that you did. That you would fly me all the way out to be with you just so that you could leave me and go on tour. That was so fucking painful for me.”
He nods and leans closer to her across the table, both of their coffees and the croissant long forgotten.
“I know. I know how stupid of me it was. I just, I think I got scared too. It was so easy to fall in love with you. It was so easy to want to spend all of my time with you. And the thought that like...that I could hurt you because of music of all things? That my being away could cause you pain? I just didn’t even know what to do. I love you so much, y/n. I need you to know that I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love you. This was new for me too.”
“Sometimes you made it seem like you had all the answers. It was like you knew exactly what we were supposed to be doing when I was just flailing..” She mumbled. “It made it hurt so much worse.”
“I was just trying not to lose you. Do you have any idea how intimidating it is to be with someone as smart and wonderful and badass as you?  You always seemed like you had the life part figured out. I thought that...that I needed to have the love part down so that I could keep you, so that I could deserve you.” He confessed. “But, honey I was just as lost as you were sometimes.”
“You were?”
“Of course!” He smiled. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I can be kind of dumb sometimes.”
She snorted. “That’s certainly one way to put it.”
She peered down at the table and he kind of figured that this was his chance, this was everything they’d been building up to. So he licked his dry lips and somehow managed to shuffle even closer across the tiny table they were squished at.
“Baby,” He whispered. “I’ve got to know... if there is even a remote possibility that we could try it again? And I promise to never do anything like that again, to communicate better, to be more vulnerable and open.”
She bit her lip and looked at him and he swore that he couldn’t breathe.
“I just wanna know how it’s gonna be different this time Shawn? When I go back to work and you’re still on tour for the rest of the year. How does this change anything?”
“It just means that we have to be better. It means you’ve got to be honest with me when you’re dealing with shit, when you need to get away from work, hell when you need to get away from me. And I have to...I have to learn to not place any of the weight of who I am on you. No more begging for forgiveness before shows. No more begging you to fly out just because I’m sad. It changes because we’re willing to change, and we’re willing to learn and grow together. Can we...Can we do that? I only want to do that with you.”
Her eyes flicked down to the table and then back up to his. She’s beautiful, so so beautiful. He just wants her.
She huffed softly at him.
“Well I love you, you idiot. So, I guess we can try this again.”
“Yea?” He beamed.
“Yea.”
He reaches across the table, trading her hand for the feel of her cheeks. They were still warm as if the sun had left a bit of itself behind. And the light dusting of freckles across her nose drove him insane. He was all in with her whether she knew it or not. She was it for him.
“Can I...Can I kiss you?”  He sighed fingers cupping her jaw.
She licked her bottom lip and set his heart ablaze.
“Yea. You can.”
“Fucking finally.”
If you’d like to buy me a ko-fi
Taglist: @kitykatnumber @lou-and-me @ourlittleshawnie @mutuallynotmutual @wanderingmendes @peacedolantwins2 @chels-nyc @@illloveyouforever1 @justbeingoceana @hayyitsfayy @claredolphinbear24  @september-lace @grittyisaho @literallyshawn @mchutchmendes @liliane106 @iloveshawnieboi @samwillllson @trappedinfairytales @abbersalp
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fruit-cupz · 5 years
Note
Could i get a gavin x mc where she just really causally say i love you then just keeps talking hoping he wont notice but he does
Thanks for the request! I’m trying to give birth to at least one a day, so bear with me if you’ve requested something lol
Gavin x MC The Three Forbidden Words
Word Count: 1,076
Rating: a lil sugar and spice, but everything nice ;)
Back pinned against the wall, Gavin placed his hands on either side of Yuna’s head effectively caging her in. She fidgeted under his intense and penetrating stare. 
“What did you just say?” His eyes glimmered with hope and another emotion that she couldn’t quite place as he leaned in dangerously close. Their breath mingled between them, and she found herself unable to look at anywhere other than him.
She was sure he heard her say it the first time. 
Flashback
Yuna twiddled her thumbs on Gavin’s couch as he typed up reports for work on his laptop. The two of them had been working in silence for the past hour and a half, but her mind kept roaming to another more important thought. 
‘Am I really going to say it…?’ Her head spun contemplating the idea. She placed a hand on her chest to calm her furious heart. 
She inconspicuously gazed at Gavin’s side profile as he continued to work peacefully totally engrossed in the work ahead of him.
 For the past month, the notion had occurred to her on numerous occasions, but the words always remained rooted to the tip of her tongue. Initially, she wondered why Gavin hadn’t come out and said it to her in the first place. She even began to wonder if maybe he really didn’t see her that way at all. 
However, his small actions of affirmation said otherwise. The way he softly gazed at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. His gentleness when he gently caressed her cheek and planted a kiss to her head. A protective hand at the small of her back when they walked in a crowd. Flying with her on starry nights to see the beautiful view… the list could go on for forever. 
Eventually, she realized that Gavin was patiently giving her the power to decide where their relationship would go, never pushing her beyond limits that he wasn’t sure she was ready for. She certainly was more than grateful and touched by his thoughtfulness, but initiating anything romantic was always a weak point for her. 
She ran through all the possible ways she could say it. 
Prepare a surprise? Too corny.
After a passionate make out session? Too embarrassing.
Whisper it in his ear? Too risque. 
‘At this rate, I should just blurt it out.’ Yuna inwardly sighed exasperated by her lack of creativity. How could something he easily made her feel be so difficult to say? 
“You’ve been staring at me with a serious face for 10 minutes now. Is there something you want to tell me?” Gavin shut his laptop and turned to look at her questioningly. 
“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to stare. I just…” She trailed off cheeks staining rouge at having been caught. “I really want that special tea you bought the other day. I didn’t know how to ask.” She grinned sheepishly while twisting a stand of her hair. 
Gavin narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion before slowly responding, “Are you sure that’s all you want to say?” 
“Um, yeah. There’s nothing else special.” She didn’t miss the disappointment that flashed quickly across his face. Her heart sank.
“It’s in the cabinet above the toaster.” He remained impassive as he pulled his laptop back open. 
“Ohh okay thanks. Sorry for worrying you. I was just kinda zoning out thinking about… the tea.” Yuna stood awkwardly from the couch to rearrange her papers and notes on the table taking great care not to make eye contact with him. 
Gavin raised an eyebrow at her uncharacteristic behavior. “You must really love the tea a lot to stare at me that long contemplating how to ask for it.” 
She chuckled nervously. “Yea I really do love it…” then paused before casually adding. “Just like how I love you.” 
For a brief moment the room was incredibly silent. A flurry of words erupted from Yuna’s mouth to hide her embarrassment. “But anyways, do you want the green or red cup because I want the red this time. It has a nicer handle and has the cute bird on it. Oh and let me go brew the tea real quick. Just keep doing your work, okay? Thanks!” 
Without turning to see Gavin’s reaction, she briskly made her way to the kitchen with her heart hammering in her chest. Not even a moment later was Gavin at his feet and spinning her back to face him. 
End of Flashback
Yuna looked up at Gavin with apprehension. In that moment, with a ray of sunlight glistening on his face, he seemed to appear even more handsome, and she wanted to look away fearing that this moment was unreal. 
“Yuna what did you just say?” He repeated pleading for affirmation.
She slowly lifted her hands up and held onto his shoulders. She shyly murmured, “I love you.”
Then his lips were on hers, and all she could feel and think about was him. Backing her further up against the wall, he kissed her with enough passion and fervor for her to know just how long he’s waited to hear those three forbidden words. He gripped her hips and smiled into the kiss when she stood on her tip toes to press herself more firmly against him.
It took every ounce of restraint in his body to pull away from her. For a moment all they could hear was one another’s labored breathing. 
Gavin brushed aside her bangs, rested his forehead lightly on hers, and whispered breathily, “Say it again.” 
Yuna’s eyes opened to find him staring deeply at her with a smile dancing on his lips. In a gentle, timid voice she breathed out, “I love you.” 
He kissed her forehead and nose in encouragement. “Again.” 
Laughing, she more confidently proclaimed her love for him once more.
“Again.” This time he was trailing kisses from her jaw to her neck, and she could feel him grinning against her skin. 
“Gavin!” She exclaimed loudly laughing at his childish behavior. 
The sound was music to his ears as he easily picked her up to spin her by the waist like it was just him and her in their own little world. He had on the biggest and brightest smile that she’d ever seen on him, and the sight caused her heart to race a little more and butterflies to erupt in her stomach. 
“I love you.” This time she said it with no hesitation. 
“I love you too.” 
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stoncs · 4 years
Text
ay  buddies  what  is  up  !  i’m  tay  ,  n  i’m  here  to  reintroduce  you  to  my  emotional  support  bag  of  trash  ,  stone  .  we  were  here  a  minute  ago  ,  but  now  that  i  have  a  job  w  pretty  good  hours  i  thought  ...  huh  ,  isnt  it  time  for  stone  to  be  a  scumbag  again  ?  anyhow  ,  i’m  from  the  gmt-3  tmz  i  think  ,  maybe  .  i  go  by  feminine  pronouns  ,  n  it’s  hot  as  balls  in  this  wonderful  brazilian  weather  so  yall  can  catch  me  ugly  sweating  over  here  anytime  !  so  down  below  u  can  find  a  whole  ass  intro  abt  this  douchenozzle  ,   n  if  u  smash  the  gd  like  button  i  will  hit  u  up  for  some  plots !
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𝐈.  𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋  :  
𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :  stone  louis  liberman
𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :  stoney 
𝐀𝐆𝐄  :  twenty  five  
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑  /  𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒  :  cismale  /  he & him
𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  :  bisexual  ,  biromantic
𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  part  time  professional  photographer
𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘  :  charles  liberman  &  elena  hardwell
𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐎  :  scott  disick  ,  jean  ralphio  saperstein  ,  chuck  bass  (  ish  )  .
𝐈𝐈.  𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘
stone  was  born  into  what  is  considered  hollywood  royalty  .  kind  of  like  brangelina  (  pre  breakup  )  ,  or  richard  burton  &  liz  taylor  ,  or  kim  &  k*nye  (  just  kidding  )  .  but  yes  ,  they  were  both  really  famous  actors  who  were  both  in  commited  relationships  when  they  first  met  on  a  movie  set  and  fell  in  mad  love  with  each  other  .  by  the  time  the  movie  had  premiered  they  were  already  secretly  married  and  just  the  most  talked  about  topic  in  the  movie  industry  .
AND  they  lived  happily  ever  after  .  just  kidding  ,  mr.  liberman  died  in  a  car  crash  when  stone  was  ten  years  old  ,  and  his  loss  really  broke  his  mother  .  she  grieved  the  best  way  she  knew  how  :  by  drinking  a  lot  and  getting  remarried  less  than  a  year  after  losing  her  husband  .  and  then  getting  remarried  5  more  times  after  that  . stone  actually  gets  along  really  well  with  most  of  his  mom’s  ex-husbands  ,  and  is  still  friends  with  some  of  them  even  after  elena  eventually  ditches  them  .  stone  also  claims  not  to  remember  his  dad  ,  but  actually  does  and  really  misses  him  and  the  family  they  were  specially  .
in  regards  of  family  ,  his  dad  had  2  kids  before  marrying  his  mom  ,  and  his  mom  had  one  after  losing  his  dad  so  he  has  plenty  of  siblings  .  he  isn’t  particularly  close  to  them  since  they  never  saw  much  of  each  other  growing  up  ,  but  he  is  very  close  to  his  little  sister  ,  who’s  13  and  just  as  chaotic  as  he  is  but  definitely  a  lot  smarter  .  he  loves  her  to  pieces  even  though  sometimes  he  thinks  she’s  satan  hiding  inside  a  teenage  girl’s  body  .
okay  ,  so  ,  as  previously  mentioned  ,  stone  views  life  in  a  ‘before  dad  &  after  dad’  kinda  way  ,  in  regards  that  childhood  before  his  father  died  was  amazing  ,  they  were  always  travelling  and  going  to  cool  spots  and  having  fun  .  his  mom  was  awesome  &  he  loved  his  dad  to  pieces  and  he  never  had  to  go  to  school  .  life  was  like  ,  perfect  .  and  then  his  dad  died  and  his  mother  was  such  a  mess  .  she  was  having  such  a  hard  time  dealing  with  losing  him  that  she  honestly  couldn’t  give  stone  the  affection  and  structure  he  needed  ,  so  he  was  mostly  left  behind  in  the  chicago  house  with  babysitters  and  homeschool  teachers  while  his  mom  was  off  working  and  getting  married  .  he  doesn’t  really  hold  a  grudge  or  anything  ,  but  he’s  definitely  not  as  close  to  his  mom  because  of  it  ,  it’s  like  he  can’t  really  connect  with  her  anymore  .
stone  never  went  to  college  ,  his  mom  had  to  actually  pay  for  his  high  school  diploma  because  she  didn’t  want  him  to  be  a  dropout  ,  and  stone  spent  most  of  his  life  with  zero  life  prospects  ,  all  he  did  for  a  while  was  spend  his  parent’s  money  and  get  super  fucked  up  .  that  being  said  ,  he’s  really  shaped  up  the  last  couple  of  years  &  ran  with  the  passion  he  had  for  photography  .  he’s  quite  a  bit  more  serious  about  it  than  most  people  know  ,  and  has  shot  big  pieces  for  mags  like  time  and  rolling  stone  ,  but  he  doesn’t  really  want  anyone  creating  expectations  about  him  so  he  usually  keeps  quiet  .  ALSO  because  he’s  having  sex  with  a  bunch  of  models  who  he  definitely  shouldn’t  be  associating  with  ,  so  he  likes  to  keep  a  low  profile  .
growing  up  and  to  this  day  ,  stone  never  minded  the  attention  he  got  from  being  a  hollywood  baby  .  he  just  was  never  bothered  by  it  ,  and  even  like  makes  it  a  game  to  see  how  many  paps  he  can  gather  by  going  out  to  get  groceries  or  to  some  fancy  sushi  place  all  the  celebs  are  going  to  .  he’s  basically  an  attention  wh*re  ,  we  hate  him  .
ALSO  he  is  a  daddy  !  literally  has  a  five  year  old  son  who’s  called  bodhi  .  there’s  a  lot  of  drama  with  his  mother  so  he  doesn’t  get  to  see  him  very  often  ,  but  he  loves  bodhi  very  much  and  is  a  pretty  good  dad  ?  not  the  best  ,  but  he  tries  really  hard  to  be  good  actually  .
𝐈𝐈𝐈.  𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘
stone  is  generally  a  great  person  to  be  around  if  you’re  looking  for  a  good  time  ,  he’s  always  up  to  something  fun  and  anything  you  wanna  do  that  most  people  would  consider  crazy  ,  stone  is  the  guy  that  will  say  hell  yea  and  not  think  twice  to  do  it  with  you  .  he  loves  to  be  surrounded  by  people  and  is  just  a  party  animal  .
he’s  also  super  chill  .  crazy  chill  .  too  chill  .  nothing  gets  him  mad  ,  like  ,  nothing  .  usually  that  annoying  dude  who  will  tell  you  to  calm  down  when  you’re  arguing  and  make  you  wanna  choke  him  .  the  least  threatening  dude  you  will  ever  meet  .
just  a  cool  dude  to  have  around  overall  ,  like  people  are  always  having  fun  when  they’re  around  him  .
but  ...  has  NO  moral  compass  ,  not  even  a  single  ounce  of  it  .  he  is  the  most  opportunistic  person  .  will  100%  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  things  to  go  his  way  ,  and  has  no  concern  about  how  his  actions  affect  others  .  he  usually  thinks  since  nothing  bothers  him  ,  he  can  do  whatever  he  wants  to  everyone  else  and  no  one  will  mind  .
kinda  a  nice  douchebag  ?  he’s  really  charming  and  nice  and  cool  but  will  probably  screw  you  over  at  least  once  in  your  life  ,  maybe  more  if  you  let  him  ngl  .
𝐈𝐕.  𝐅𝐔𝐍  𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒
is  a vegetarian  !  tried  to  go  vegan  once  but  he  really  likes  chocolate  milk  and  gave  up  .
speaks  very  slowly  ,  says  ‘i mean’  ,  and  ‘uh’  ,  a  lot  .  you’ve  probably  asked  him  to  talk  a  little  faster  once  or  twice  .
is  named  stone  because  he  was  conceived  at  a  rolling  stones  concert  .  shout  out  to  mick  jagger  .  his  mom  always  tells  him  that  and  he  is  traumatized  by  it  .
does  a  LOT  of  drugs  ,  if  he  ever  zones  out  feel  free  to  assume  he’s  tripping  about  purple  crocodiles  or  something  freaky  .
is  6  foot  tall  and  very  clumsy  about  it  !  
was  actually  born  in  greece .
𝐕.  𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃  𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 
best  friend  :  someone  who’s  been  there  for  stone  through  pretty  much  everything  and  vice  versa  ,  knows  all  his  fuckups  and  either  tries  to  get  him  to  become  a  better  human  being  or  just  fucks  up  right  along  with  him  .    
half  sibling  :  they’re  kinda  awkward  in  that  …  cousins  at  family  get  together  type  of  way  ?  stone  doesn’t  particularly  see  this  person  as  his  actual  sibling  and  they  neither  love  nor  hate  each  other  ,  it’s  just  rly  awkward  .
skinny  love  :  they’re  like  …  the  relationship  that  never  was  ?  they  both  cared  about  one  another  ,  but  for  some  reason  didn’t  end  up  together  so  now  ….  weirdness  happens  ?  they  dont  really  know  where  they  stand  with  one  another  n  might  still  care  but  it  doesn’t  seem  like  it’s  gonna  happen  .
exes  on  good  or  bad  terms  :  like  previously  mentioned  ...  stone  is  kinda  an  asshole  ,  so  his  relationships  mostly  end  up  not  in  the  best  way  possible  ?  that  being  said  ,  he  can  sometimes  be  decent  ,  so  maybe  there  could  be  relationships  that  end  up  in  a  generally  positive  note  ?  possibly  .
CHEATING  PLOTS  :  honestly  stone  might  be  the  king  of  cheating  ?  he  just  doesn’t  care  ?  he’s  such  an  asshole  .  this  doesn’t  even  have  to  be  romantic  either  ?  he  could  have  hooked  up  with  someone  his  friend  liked  or  someone’s  MOM  ,  like  .  he  just  cheats  everyone  on  everything  all the  time  . 
first  love  :  the  person  who  he  thought  was  going  to  give  him  the  romance  that  his  mom and  dad  had  ,  could  have  ended  on  good  or  bad  terms  but  he  always  holds  a  special  place  in  his  heart  for  them  . 
flings  or  fwbs  :  he  probably  has  plenty  of  those  because  stone  is  at  a  phase  in  life  where  he  doesnt  really  believe  in  monogamy ?  i’m  serious  i  hate  him  .  he  probably  has  a  bunch  of  flings  and  not  gonna  lie  ,  he  could  be  stringing  some  of  them  along  just  because  i  love  me  some  drama  .
platonic  siblingish  friendship  :  someone  he  doesn’t  even  think  about  being   with  .  probably  someone  he  kind  of  sees  like  a  sibling  and  is  just  really  protective  about  . 
party  pals  :  they  don’t  really  have  much  in  common  ,  but  they  have  a  great  time  whenever  there  are  parties  and  fun  adventures  around  .
bad  blood  :  stone  doesn’t  really  hate  anyone  ,  but  there  are  definitely  people  he’s  uncomfortable  around  or  who’s  presence  he’s  really  not  fond  of  ?  possibly  a  lot  of  cold  shouldering  and  some  snarky  remarks  ,  nothing  to  extreme  though  .
okay  so  i  feel  like  this  ran  a  little  long  .  it  probably  did  .  a  lot  of  it  was  recycled  from  my  old  intro  but  yall  still  wouldnt  believe  how  long  that  took  me  .  so  like  this  if  u  hate  stone  &  lets  plot  !  
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