#but feelin myself on this one thing so

[alicenpai]

welcome to the NCU - nightow cinematic universe!! watched trigun and kkss recently and loved ‘em both 🍔🍩

#trigun #kekkai sensen #blood blockade battlefront #kkss #b3&b #not tagging all the charas sorry ^__T #this drawing is itching at me so i gotta post it i guess #i wanted to touch up on this one a bit more bc im not 100% satisfied w the end result. but i think i should leave it be and move on! #dumping all of my overdue fanart so that i can move on to originals for the time being! #just feelin' a bit burnt out by fanart! since that's the only thing i've been working on for 2 months prior to the con #and i need to touch base with myself again and just work on ocs and their stories for the time being.. need to rmb the reasons why i draw #my art #kkss in particular has become one of my top animes at this point #love love love the cast so much #cried at the kk 'bratatat mom' ep in season 2 #also it's never a dull moment w zapp around i want to bully him so bad (lovingly) #for trigun i love meryl and wolfwood T__T #so funny i literally didnt know trigun stampede was coming i just wanted to watch an old anime out of the blue

[heylinfanclub]

Every time I see fictional enactments of people having mental breakdowns I’m like. ‘Is it not normal to do that like three times a week’. I’m going to have. Such major heart problems. My whole life. I just know it.

The swinging between hysterical, sad and mad? The eyes wide rolling around in my damn skull? The struggle to breathe and not choke on your own spit? The sensation that you might just lash out at anyone or anything that gets too close? The existential hysteria questioning YOUR VERY EXISTENCE AND THE EXISTENCE OF CAUSALITY AND WHY THINGS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE AND COULD THEY NOT BE AND COULD SOMEONE JUST TAKE ME AWAY TAKE ME AWAY.

It’s that last part especially. When you start getting. So. In your god damn feels. YOURE BEGGING THE UNIVERSE FOR REPRIEVE ON REPEAT AS YOU SWAY BACK N FORTH LIKE YOURE HAVING THE WORST TRIP IMAGINABLE TRYING TO CONTACT GOD. HELP ME. HELP ME. HELP ME. HELP ME. KILL ME. RUN OVER MY HEAD. NEVER WAKE ME. SEND ME TO HELL ILL PAY FOR MY SINS NOW PLEASE PLEEAASSE ANYTHING BUT A MOMENTS MORE OF TORMENT. that kinda. Shit.

Every day people look at me and tell me I’m fine. I’m smart I’m practical I’m insightful I’m hanging on I’m resourceful I seem GREAT. Hell. My problems aren’t even that bad from their perspective (and maybe they’re right!)

I want to kill them every time and maybe one day I’ll smack someone across the face. Maybe break my knuckles smashing their nose into their brain. I think. I deserve it.

ANYWAY. had another lapse of mental angst because I cannot prioritize without a helper and that means I’m drowning in an infinitely vast array priorities, and should I spare one even a second of my attention, my anxiety comes running at me with a machete to ritually slaughter me for thinking for a second THAT was my highest priority.

I just want. To live. But I cannot. Because my brain doesn’t know what’s important. Except for. Being In a Domestic Cow Like State of UNTHINKING. and it makes me wanna explode my surroundings with my mind.

I’m getting a headache from being stuck in executive dysfunction too long and I donttt liikkeee iittttt.

LIKE. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HAVIN A GOOD ONE. I was supposed to be feelin a GOOD EMOTION SPARKED. INSPIRATION. INSPIRATION FOR MY DESIRE TO WRITE A STORY. But instead. I was smacked with that reminder that. I don’t choose what’s important and what needs to be done and if I do it. I don’t get to choose. So why both having dreams? Why bother having wants? Wishes? Why bother? (It would matter more if I had a community that HELPS ME and maybe I have a community that PROTECTS me but that’s. Not the same. I feel so fuckin brainless. My thoughts bounce in every direction but go Nowhere. They loop back on themselves and fight each other like rabid animals. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with a brain like this. Forever. Happily. Not without reliable support. Which doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as reliable. Everything is temporary. So it’s always fINE THEN you have to FIND A WAY TO COPE. ALONE? FOREVER? It’s bullshit. I hate this shit. Ahhhhh.

I wanted to think Ooo Ahh inspiration for a story I want to write so bad.

But it just went ‘when. When will you write. How. Will you be afloat. Will it distract you. Distract you from friends from life from stability? You can’t even take care of yourself you don’t deserve to do anything until you can take care of yourself and function with others and *you have so many other higher priorities that will kill you if you do not attend to them first*’

Weeps

THERAPIST SAID I DIDNT HAVE OCD. NOT EVEN PURE O. AND MAYBE SHE RIGHT. I CAN STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. IF PUSHED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. WHICH IM NEVER. BECAUSE IM ALONE. AND THAT MEANS I END UP RUMINATING TIL I HAVE HEART AND STOMACH PAINS. AHHHHHHH.

Awoooo

Awoooo

I hate it

#me. #therapy. #mur has a moment. #suicidal ideation// #negative// #(I’m not feelin it now but boy #(I will lapse in and out for being. a fucking. mess. #(if I allow myself even a moment of non distraction #(sometimes I can see where the stereotypes for autism come from #(yeah. maybe I do wanna zone out unspeaking on one thing #(and if you interrupt me I will lose my shit so hard I may just hurt everyone around me and myself #(because I am. I. so much. mental anguish. on the regular. #(I miss my therapist I am going to hate my new one no matter what she says #(she went on medical leave the minute my old therapist left #(like yeahyeahyeah sure can’t control that #(you could’ve emailed anyone about my continuum of care but you DIDNT #(I HOPE U HAVE TEN THOUSAND ALLERGIC REACTIONS

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 26

"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan

#song of the day #you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll) #they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs #I love them. I adore them #'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable) #'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain #Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain #they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain' #what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy #anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/ #I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times #which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is) #but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful' #and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday' #and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--' #and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning' #and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--' #and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about' #so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both #which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything? #it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/ #(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better #and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it #hmm maybe yeah)

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Ok ok final thing b4 i go back to what i was doing b4 and not being distracted. But 1 thing i hate abt omori is that like. I cant SAY anything abt it like everyone already KNOWS i cant be like "ogh the symbolism here " BC EVERYONES HEARD OF THE SYMBOLISM THERE likeeee . Its smth i rlly like abt jrwi bc like u basically always have New things to say bc theres accidental foreshadowing allll the time (and also purposeful but tbh most is like smth vaguely said in ep10 which predicts an entire arc or smt) and since its hundreds of hours long, ppl forget things n can be reminded and likeee since its dnd which is so imagination based, theres so much room for interpretation. But w omori its like. I could be like Damn Yea This Rlly IS Like Depression and veryones like Yea. Thats The Point.

#night thoughts #its mostly like. i rlly like how the pace of hs rlly does feel so accurate to what depression n escapism is LIKE #bc like. everythings seems to get sorta slower and longer and more convoluted as time goes on #to the point where being in headspace feels sorta mind numbing #BUT the thing is ik thats just me bc loads of ppl rlly like headspace n ik a lotta ppl have said #that the way the rw is almost more boring than hs and how they couosnt wait to get back to bed is also rlly like fitting #AND THATS TRUE #but for me hs always felt so slow and just. like trekking up a mountain #AND THATS WHAT DEPRESSION N ISOLATION FEEL LIKE #after spending so much time just as Nothing time just kinda stops existing #and the few chances u do go outside n see friends. seems like kickstarting ur brain #n suddenly ur not wallowing in numb lethargy but ur EXISTING #and sometimes it does feel like ud prefer to be in the Slow and Comfortable isolation #until u realise that just huge contrast in urself #idk maybe im tryna make it relate to myself too much #bc i first played it a bit under a year ago when i was in a massive rut and never went outside n never talked to anyone #til one day i decided to go on a walk just. on a whim #and i saw a cat on that walk and like. i see cats round town all the time #but just bein on a walk n feelin the air n seein the cat was the most id felt in months #and idk yea #ANYWAYS back to not being distracted.

[ghostputty]

hey, do you ever plan on bringing back your common sense sims story? just wondering, it was really intriguing to me :)

hiiiii okay first sorry for answering this 3 months late 😭😭 my ask box is clustered atm and i also had a Time this summer BUT

since i have dof in a very comfy spot writing wise it is something i’d love to take a peek at again soon, pick up writing and then overhaul a LOT !! the main problem when i started it was i didn’t have as much experience as i have now so i could never get things how i wanted them to be (esp in the sims) but now ….. growth ehehe :))

plus i think a thing common sense has over dof is the cast is literally 1/3 of dofs cast. i do love having a big cast of charas for dof but i think it’d be a nice change of pace to start it up sometime once dof is ending.

ANDDDD felix is one of my favorite ocs i have personally cause hes …… well, i relate to him a lot i suppose, but also ive snagged bits of his personality and shoved them into some of my other ocs LMAOOO

#yeah common sense is not gone #i opened their save a month or two ago and i was like ….. u all need makeovers LMAO #but one thing at a time forcing myself to Not Get Distracted #i have #counts on fingers #abt 6 or so stories rattling around in my brain rn #3 of which i am. actively working on(dof - kismet - and outbreak! (this one i have Just started but i do not know where m putting it yet)) #so yeah !!! sorry for the info dump i’ve just been feelin very motivated recently :o) #asks #anonymous

[dcschart]

I understand that this is not what people follow me here for, but I wanna apologise for my massive absence and this is All I Have

#this is all I can offer you; I am deeply sorry #steddie has just been;;;;;; on my mind lately #and thank god tbh cuz I haven’t made any art for months #9 months to be exact #I uh;;;;; I had a;;; a bit of a rough time the past half a year;;; #things got rocky over xmas n I crashed really bad;;;;; Im only recently starting to feel like myself again. #but im okay!!!! im okay now!!!! and im feelin so much better in myself and my art so I cranked out some silly doodles today :0)!!! #this is one of them; I know it’s not what I post here but it’s still something!! #and I might open up to posting more of whatever I make; some of you will leave but that’s okay! it’s my place to put what I want; right? #anyway!!!!!! take this n go!!!! #steddie

[dykedragons]

oh ps im so fucking glad to be done with school (dgmw i LOVED college but it was an INSANE amount of work and im exhausted). i can do whatever i want now guilt-free. its AMAZING. i can play minecraft guilt free i can do COMMISSIONS guilt free like bro....... it was so hard doing commissions during school TToTT

like yall.... what NINE (9) fucking classes in a term will do to an mf. i only recommend it if u have like zero other priorities bc. WOW. it was a LOT. (i also put 100% into literally everything i do but still it tested my fucking LIMITS.) (only one all-nighter had to be pulled though and it wasnt even on a school night so thats cool of me)

more. rambling under the cut

(like im soooososo grateful for the business + JUST whining like i needed the moneys regardless so i dont appreciate it any less. and they were still a lot of fun. but the workload was cray cray. im so grateful my commissioners didnt mind the ~2 month wait bc i felt so bad kjdnfnkjsfds blows yall a kiss... excited to get thru my current queue too!! once i. have the weekend to myself bc. GOD i need that.)

im really amazed im not burnt the fuck out?? like i look forward to drawing still!! and doing more 3D when i have the mental capacity for it (done my current comm queue). i love that stuff so much. ive pushed myself so much and created things in time crunches i thought would wreck me but ive proven myself wrong again and again and its amazing. im truly proud of myself and the person im becoming yall its a magical thing!!!! and my WORK. is the best its ever looked even when its rushed. i am fucking gobsmacked. my god. i NEED to keep doing gesture studies someone pplleease be on my ass about that lol /j

and NOT TO MENTION MY FRIENDS....... like MAN i fuckin love those guys holy shit. my dumb ass coming to school like "ohghggh i hope i make friends" BITCH YOULL MAKE THE BEST FRIENDS OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so silly... i met one of my best friends on the FIRST DAY and DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT!!!!!!! ugh im just. im so grateful. eternally grateful for this experience. i have grown tenfold i have gained tenfold.

i feel. ready for my next steps... i have my first job coming up and im gonna be doing 3D for freelance and learning new things... getting my shit TOGETHER making money (hopefully a lot) and learning to be an adult n shit. "catch up" to my peers (thats how it feels). it feels good and in my best moments i feel like the future is bright yk.... like. yeah i can do this!!!!!!! yeah. yeah. its gonna be alright.

#ramblies #TRULY JUST.......... wonderful wonderful time in my life #there were ups n downs and things i tried that didnt work out and people i was with that i didnt end up vibing with (thru no fault of their #own really i just wasnt feelin it) but yknow what. #i did my best with everything and i dont have any feelings of regret. it was all worth it to me!!!!!! #and truly i need NEED to stop telling myself im so hateable all the time bc if theres one thing this year has taught me #its that im worthy of fucking love. like i have been.... SO APPRECIATED this year it makes me feel full and warm in my heart #ive never felt this loved in my LIFE!!!! people are so amazing and kind..... like where has this been!!! ah its just. very very nice. #im feeling good about things rn. and excited to see my friends tmrwwwww im having a sLUMBER PARTY!!!! hehehe

[gurorori]

nawt the first aid uni classes payin off.

#have a looootta dressin/bandages left over. like. lots #jus replaced the old one for the night #sigh #i feel really. yeah yeha idk how 2 explain but expect a vent #vent #ahead!! #idk i have such a strange relationship with sеlfhаrm cause it is wat it is but i m also unironically attracted 2 pain in blood in a way dat #makes it exhilaratin when i start doin it. so i cant stop. so i needs someone 2 keep me compny 2 ;b able 2 stop. which is a whole new layer #of disgustin n lowly i think. likr why am i drawn to things dat destroy me. he was right. #like im nawt tryin 2 any kind of -ise jt romanictise normalise etc but its suxh. a Thing 2 me. i do it ina fit of rage or hate n end up #directin it into. a weird sense of pleasure. why. #obviously it hurts as a bitch once im outta it but. okay.... #i think due 2 dat feelin is exacly why im leanin into it so heavily like #yea ppl use it as a way 2 translate their emotional pain into physical but 4 me its litwrally like #oh X happened. lemme do Y 2 myself 2 give me a rush #it doesn rly mattwr tho. naw matter da reaosn its still da same thing w the samw outcome #ill stop..one day

[marklikely]

teehee.. charts and spreadsheets

#wheres the post about autistic people loving spreadsheets im feelin it #building my movie tracking spreadsheet for 2023 :):):) having a blast a little bit #i started doing one last year bc i dont wanna pay for letterboxd stats #but in 2022 i used a booktuber book tracking template and just modified it for my own needs and #it ended up so buggy and busted w all my name editing -_- so i am just building my own from scratch this year #so far its going much better im not gonna have to do as much chart editing hopefully. and my tables are actually working this time #:-) love u charts and graphs and tables. and spreadsheet. #avpost #there are a couple things that it just wouldnt be feasible for me to track myself that lbxd does like most watched actors and etc but #i am doing the best w what i can do reasonably. and also i can now add whatever i want to track myself

[jrueships]

OOOuuuu!!! that new lebron movie is on my gatekeeeeeeep OUUU!! imma watch GOOD tonight!!

#having lows sucks bcs i hate feeling the unnecessary and that puts me in the unnecessary a LOT #it makes me feel unnecessary and makes other important shit feel unnecessary so that just adds to my overall feeling of unnecessary bcs i #UGH anyways WE CLIMBIN OUTTA IT!! ..for now!! then it's gonna be another dip next month probably but whateverwhatever #we refocus for the now ig #ANYWAYS WHAT I MEAN 2 SAY WITH THIS #i looove watching/indulging in things by myself as i climb outta emotional drops #and then when im feelin peppy again i get to share everything new ive been building back up with my loved ones !!! #who are always so willing n happy cus theyre jus happy to be with a happy me again #but also bcs i only share the best of the best or the best of the worst lol #i arrive from my regular volcanic eruptions with a single leaf i somehow saved beneath the rubble #but man if it aint shiny!!!! #anyways!!! #cant wait to get my watch on <33!! #NO MORE TALKIN!! MOVIE TIME!! ALONE TIME BUT YAY !!! YES! ALONE TIIIIME 🥰🥰 #check back in one month or week or smthin and ill be shellshocked mouthing it quiet under my breath like a mantra #looking like a soldier in the barracks but the dirt kinda barracks where u find a rat where ur friends heart should be #ANYWAYS YALL #this time i mean yall as in ALL YALL my MOOTS my friendly southern yaaaall🥰 #sorry i rlly need to start specifyin.. i just love the word yall #lets chat our onions on it afterward!!! if yall have any whose seen it!!! if not imma chat anyways yall know i looove chitchattin #OK GOOD? GOOD 🥰

[mooodyblue]

ignore

#this is not important #i vent too much on here i think n im sorry this one's not rly a vent but it's whatever #i hate when i start feelin all fuzzy n small cuz i have to try n stop myself cuz i can't #like not here even if it's late n everyone's asleep i can't cuz m all by myself n i don wanna have someone barge in on me #it's just me n my plushies at 2 am knowing i need to sleep but i just feel so #mmmmmmmmm #u know #m overwhelmed w so many things #n i just feel kinda alone sometimes n i don't like it #i vent too much #n m sorry #i am okkkkkk

[derelictdumbass]

I'm so smart for drinking coffee while anxious, this will have no adverse affects on me <3

#gonna get my butt shot in 20 minutes and then I have a phone call later today :") #my anxiety has been all over the place lately so I just am Nervous even tho I've done these things before #trying to distract myself w these comms before i have to go but my hands do be threatening to start jivving #no but the worst part is the wierd chest feelin u know the one. need it to leave i'm dying #nadine is typing...

[orcelito]

Went to the clinic & they got me signed up for an appointment on Thursday. So here's hoping that goes well 👍

#speculation nation #for my ribs lol #like say what you will about online portals and what have you #ive found that going to places in person (or at Least talking on the phone) helps get things done quickly #bc u are there and they cant ignore you or overlook you. you get their attention Right Then. #so i could talk about what Specifically has been the problem. how long it's been a problem. and what i suspect it is. #i couldnt do that in the online portal. #overcoming my social anxiety was one of the best things that has ever happened to me #i mean i still have some social anxiety lol in terms of talking to people casually. that shit's hard. #but doing Official Things? making calls? yea i got no anxiety about it anymore lol #might not always Want to be responsible. but when i can get myself to get off my ass. it generally goes fine! #feeling accomplished. #& now im at work to do the tips distribution (rather than at home) bc it lets me get a free drink lol #and im feelin a breme brulee matcha latte...

[cherry-shipping]

honestly like 70% of my f/o thoughts these days are just “what if my f/os helped me not feel horrible and maybe told me im appreciated or something” and nothing else didhskdnkghtodjfis

#the bars low nowadays……. #its no longer ‘i want to do fun cute stuff with my f/os who love me’ its just #‘i want to not feel like the scum of the earth for like a second please’ #hi everyone this blogs got like 30 followers most of which are close friends so youre privy to a small portion of the posts that dont go on #main. like posts about my feelings for example #even though its exceptionally watered down cause even here i dont want people to know my thoughts that well but still #anyway. im feelin real sad & i wish i had someone to make me feel a little better #its so wild cause whenever i feel down im divided into two halves that can never get along #its team ‘i could do these things i like to help me feel a little better’ vs ‘i dont deserve to feel better either way’ #so i often like. force myself to not make myself feel better as some sorta punishment for feeling bad in the first place. #am i the only one who does this. does anyone else do this i wanna know if anyone else does this #LMAO i rambled but im gonna take a nap and possibly think about sans comforting me but also maybe not (internal fight still in session) #cherry chats #negative

[chelseasdagger]

.

#idk if y’all know what an overgrowth of bismuth in your body does but i’m gonna type it out cause i’m feelin some typa way #and obviously ignore this pfff i’m just angy #you guys know the brand pepto bismol or whatever the hell it’s called outside of the states idk it’s that pink shit that tastes gross but #you take it when you have disgrstive problems or nausea of whatnot #so i have to take it quite pretty often because of my intestines being fucked and general anxiety making my stomach pains worse #but here’s the kicker #now whenever i take it - and this didn’t use to happen before - when i wake up the next day or look a few hours later #my whole tongue is black like this layer of film on it #and i know like gosh chelsea it’s not that big of a deal #it’s not but all it does is remind me of WHY i have such a build up of this product inside of me that it turns my tongue black after ONE #dose when i haven’t taken it in two or three months #and it makes me sad because he’s already messed up other parts of me and i don’t want to be touched #and when i see my tongue all i can think about is the weeks after it all happened and i kept taking more and more medicine because my #anxiety was making my stomach hurt so badly it was just in pain #i now recognize it as guilt and that i blamed myself for what happened #but i know now it wasn’t my fault. i don’t think it was #but anyway yeah just… wanted to get that off my chest #i hate that man for what he did to my brain but also the one thing the one medicine i had that was a comfort to me is now also ruined #because of mornings like these #where i try not to gag as i brush the back of my tongue and get that layer of blackness off #and it’s mornings like these i get angry at him #shut up chelsea #< the one time i truly need the tag PFFF

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

can we talk about autoheart. let's talk about autoheart

#dont actually talk to me about autoheart i WILL stsrt crying #idk what it is about this mans voice but like. i can feel the cells in my body actively cannibalizing themselves /pos #ive listened to sailor song like 12 times tonight but fine i prommy <3 #i dont get how like. oughghghhh like. #they lyrics dont Mean Anything but at the same time they DO and its paired with like. #somber piano and a fucking angelic voice i cant survive that ok #restraining myself by not listening to hungover in the city of dust. im being strong ronight i promise. #sailor song just. came on shuffle so i listened to it and thatwas a MISTAKE #anyway cacan we also talk about the puppet metaphor thing because. uhm. feelin it #famous last words the marrionette. marrionettes by kanaya. ouija harley poe. pretty in porcelain. puppet loosely strung. #appetite of a people pleaser. the scary jokes icicles. trophy wife. DRIFT AWAY. #NEED I GO ON. #its about having your agency stripped from you and having no self worth abd being hopelessly infatuated #and then snapping out of it years later only to look bacback and go ''wow that was fucked up'' and being ANGRY ABOUT IT #anyway. anybody else feeling like a puppet with their strings cut. anybody else feelin like. #you dont know who to be when youre on your own and nobody is telling you what to do anymoee #and on one hand thats so freeing because its something youve never experienced before #but on the other. what gives you the right to have your own agency. you were Made To Do Things For Other People. #and now there are no other people so youre just like. well now what. #what even is a marionette without someone holding the strings. its nothing. just like. a fuckign painted piece of plastic. #but like . why should it be anything else. its good enough as it is. #someone took the time to painstakingly paint on the details and show it love through creation. #but it sure doesnt feel like it when ur sitting limp on an empty stage. #sorry i ammmmmmmm goin g thru it a lil tonight shfshfbdjdshfshfbdjdb can we TALK about puppet metaphors #I WAS YOUR ARMCHAIR YOUR MATTRESS YOUR TV. YOUR EVERLASTING TALK SHOW HOST. MOUTHING BABY YOURE WONDERFUL #I FELL UNDER YOUR CONTROL SWITCH ON SWITCH OFF ROBOTIC AND I LOST EVERY OUNCE OF MYSELF #<<< listening 2 sailor song again smile #its about. mourning the piece of your soul they took. and wanting it back #and being fucking angry that they took it but also missing them because things were so much easier when they owned you. yknow. #delete later