Tumgik
#but for now hes happy and healthy and thats what matters
arsenicflame · 6 months
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i think the reason izzy can be so blasé about his relationship with ed is not because hes taken to blaming a shark instead, but because hes actually already done a lot of the processing in the previous episode.
hes mourned his leg, hes had his drunk crying rants. hes gone through the five stages of grief. and then? the crew reaches out to him, offers him their support. they make him a new leg, they nominate him their new figurehead. when he stands there on the prow of the ship, leg on, letter in hand, thats his acceptance, thats his moving on.
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fandomxpreferences · 1 year
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Heartbroke Bitch
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Ex!Rafe Cameron x Female!Reader
TW: 18+, drug and alcohol use, angst, fluff, self destructive behavior, I think thats it
Summary: When youre left heartbroken, you cope in a less than healthy way. But what happens when Rafe sees you hanging on the arm of one of his best friends? (Loosely based off Escapism by Raye)
Word count:3.2k
A/N: Let me know if you want a part 2!
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Ever since that night, you've been a different person. Rafe ending things sent you reeling and the words keep playing in your head like a record. 
"It's just not going to work. I'll have Sarah drop off your things."
That was all he gave you before all but kicking you out. He didn't even have the respect to give you a reason, though you've come to the conclusion it's because you're a pogue. You and Rafe never should have started anything in the first place; you knew you were playing with fire. 
JJ and John B tried to talk sense into you, but you were too lovestruck. All you cared about was the misunderstood kook king, and now you're heartbroken. The first week you cried and drank as the group tried to get through to you. 
The following weekend, you went out to a kegger at the boneyard and saw Missy Thompson giggling into Rafe's ear and something inside you snapped. You were tired of feeling hurt, so you decided to beat him at his own game. 
"Where are you going dressed like that?" 
There's a teasing lilt to Sarah's voice, but you don't miss the concern in her eyes. She already knows the answer to her question. You've spent the last three weeks staying out until sunrise, various drugs coursing through your veins and different men sneaking out every morning. 
Your eyebrow quirks as you look down at your less-than-modest outfit and shrug.
"Out. I was invited to that new club." 
JJ frowns and stands to walk over to you. He stops a few feet away and you look at him expectantly. 
"Again? Y/N/N, you can't keep doing this. I mean I'm always down for a good time, but you're going to hurt yourself." 
The pain in his voice causes your chest to tighten and you roll your eyes to cover it up. That's exactly why you're doing this; you're tired of feeling hurt and so far losing yourself in white powder and men whose outfits cost more than your car has proven to be effective. 
"So what if I do? I'll be fine, JJ. Don't worry your pretty little head." You smile while patting him playfully on the arm. 
They watch as you walk off and give each other worried looks, unable to do anything but stand by as you set out on a path of self-destruction. 
An hour later you're in the VIP section sipping on champagne that's expensive enough to solve all your money problems and having a great time. The music is loud enough to drive your thoughts away and you let yourself get lost in the moment. 
You aren't sure who the people here are; you've made a lot of new acquaintances since going out more and you just happened to strike up a conversation with the man that brought you here. You're not even sure what his name is. 
You think it's something along the lines of Andrew, or maybe Everett. You don't really care enough to remember; you just know it's something pretentious that reeks of old money. Not that it matters much. By morning he'll just be another notch in your belt and you'll never see him again. 
You're just about to do a shot when a familiar voice calls your name. You look up with a frown, trying to place where it came from. A smile breaks out when you place its owner and Topper plops down next to you. 
His arm wraps loosely around your shoulder and you lean in a bit, happy to have someone you know around. 
"Didn't expect to see you here." 
Topper isn't exactly known for tolerating - much less liking - pogues but he grew fond of you during your time with Rafe. 
You nudge him lightly with your shoulder and he grins. 
"A pleasant surprise, I hope." 
He leans in a little closer and nods. You can't help but notice his spicy yet sweet cologne as his body heat radiates against your skin and it's almost as intoxicating as the alcohol. 
"Very pleasant. You smell good. Like cotton candy and tanning oil." 
Your eyebrows raise at the forward comment and you let your eyes drop down to look at his lips. 
"You like it?" 
The other man is long forgotten as Topper invades your personal space and suddenly your target changes. 
"I love it. What is it?"
You lean back with a laugh and the way his body chases yours isn't lost on you. The game is afoot and you've discovered you love the thrill of the chase. 
"Something expensive. That's all I'll say, a lady never reveals her secrets."
His smile turns devilish and his nose presses against the column of your throat to inhale your scent again. 
"Something tells me you're not much of a lady." 
Butterflies erupt in your stomach as he flirts back and your hand laces in his hair to tug his head back. 
"You have no idea, Top."
Your words hang in the air for a moment before he pulls you closer so you're halfway on his lap. You watch as he pulls out a baggy and waves it at you suggestively, your face lighting up as you nod while he sets it up on the table. 
You don't think twice before bending down and snorting a couple lines, tilting your head back with closed eyes. This has become a regular occurrence for you, and Topper lets out a surprised laugh before copying your previous movements. 
"Didn't take you as the type to do party drugs." He admits and you press farther into him. 
"Mmm, there's a lot you don't know about me." 
A few minutes later you're both feeling the effects and you gladly follow Topper as he takes your hand and leads you to the dance floor. You aren't paying attention to what song is playing as you grind on your ex-boyfriend's friend, your hands wrapped around his neck as he nips at your shoulder. 
Rafe immediately feels annoyed as he walks into the loud venue, his first instinct being to turn around and leave. Before everything with you, this would have been his scene. However, despite being the one to call it quits, he's been having an exceptionally hard time. 
He thought it would be easy to move on, but every time he tries, his thoughts are consumed by you. He gave up hope after he moaned out your name with another woman and she slapped him before storming out. He didn't realize he was in love with you until he watched your tail lights fade in the rain. 
He downs a shot to settle his nerves, the burning sensation distracting him from the thumping bass. He's just about to take a seat when his eyes land on you. Bile rises in his throat as he watches you party without a care in the world.
He thinks this hurts worse than the initial breakup. Seeing you laugh and dance as if you aren't feeling the same heartache as him is bitter and he doesn't like it. 
He knows he's the one that tossed your relationship in the trash, but he thought he meant more to you. At least enough for you not to be living it up a month after he left. 
You were never one for the. club scene, and he's honestly not sure why you're here. It's not until you bump into him on the way to take another shot that he really takes you in. 
You stop to apologize and his eyebrows pinch when it takes you a second longer than it should to realize who he is. Recognition finally crosses your features and much to his surprise, you give him a short hug with a smile. 
"Hey, Rafe."
He stares at you in shock for a second, trying to figure out why you seem so unbothered by his presence. He's certainly not feeling as relaxed with you standing a foot away. An unfamiliar scent washes over him and he realizes it's coming from you. 
He's always loved the way you smell, and that is certainly not your usual perfume and body lotion. It almost makes him sick to his stomach. His eyes rake over your face for a moment as he tries to place what's so different about you. 
He doesn't even recognize the woman in front of him and his heart breaks as the realization sets in that this is his fault. He broke you. 
Your body is covered in a skin-tight dress that's six inches too short and glitter. He notices you seem taller than usual and his eyes pan down to the sky-high stilettos on your feet. 
That's not what concerns him most though. You're clearly drunk as you struggle to keep your balance and your pupils are completely blown. 
If he had to guess he'd say coke or Molly, maybe both based on your apparent indifference to your life. Either way, it makes his stomach turn and he barely resists the urge to break Topper's hands as they sit a little too close to your ass.
"Hi." 
It's all he can manage as guilt and pain consume him and he wants nothing more than to go back in time. He doesn't get to say anything else before you're stumbling away, resembling a newborn fawn. 
He ignores his friends' protests as he pulls out his phone and steps outside. His thumb finds Sarah's contact and he presses the call button without hesitation. The line rings a few times before she answers and he leans against the brick wall. 
"What do you want?"
There's music in the background and he knows he's interrupting her night but he can't bring himself to care. 
"Is Y/N okay?"
There's a moment of silence before his sister sighs and his eyes squeeze shut. 
"Rafe, you lost the right to ask about her." 
He knows she's right, but he's going to get answers even if he has to drive to the cut himself. 
"I know, okay? I know. But I'm at this night club and she looks absolutely wasted. I'm worried." 
He can almost hear her mulling over her next words on the other end of the line when she finally responds. 
"We all are. Between me and you, she's been on a bender. She's gone out almost every night since the breakup. She comes back completely fucked up with random men at like 6 am. We thought it would pass, but it seems like she's not slowing down anytime soon." 
His stomach lurches at the idea of you going home with strangers while completely intoxicated and he takes a deep breath. He hates that he's been sulking while you've been sleeping around, but that's not what's at the forefront of his mind. 
His main concern is your safety. He knows that sooner or later you'll take too much or trust the wrong man and something will happen. 
"Thanks." 
He hears her start to ask something but doesn't wait to listen, quickly ending the call and heading back in. He's on a war path to find you and when he does, his blood boils. 
You're laid on a table while Topper does a body shot off you and his feet carry him forward before his brain can catch up. He rips his friend backward and Topper is about to cuss him out when he sees the look on his face. 
His hands come up in surrender and before you can process, you're being thrown over Rafe's shoulder and carried outside. Your arms and legs flail as you slap at his back and his grip tightens. 
"Fucking put me down!" Your voice is slurred but loud, and your heels click as your feet hit the pavement. 
You take a second to get your bearings before snapping your head up to glare at your ex-boyfriend. 
"What the fuck, Rafe?!" 
Your anger does nothing to deter him and his arms cross over his chest as he blocks you from going back inside. 
"I could ask you the same thing."
His voice is firm yet gentle as he looks at you and it pisses you off. 
"Actually, you can't, asshole. What I do is none of your business." 
He scoffs and if you weren't so far gone, you'd probably take your shoe off and stab him with it. All of this is sobering you up and you definitely need to be high to deal with this conversation. 
"This isn't you. Why are you doing this?" 
It's a stupid question, he's aware of this. Still, he wants to hear you say it. 
"Maybe it is. You don't know who I am anymore."
The words are harsh as you snap at him and his fists clench while he tries to hide how much it hurt him. 
"Yes, I do. So I'll ask one more time. Why are you doing this?"
He softens when he notices the way your chest is heaving and you're gnawing on your lip the way you always do when you're trying to fight back tears. 
"Because I don't want to feel how I did that night, okay? I want to be numb. Is that what you want to hear?"
His heart clenches when your voice wobbles and he reaches out to grab your hand. Pain shoots through him when you recoil from his touch and take a step back. 
"Don't fucking touch me." 
His hand drops back to his side and his mind spins as he tries to figure out how to fix this. That first week was hell, especially when you sent him drunk texts and left voicemails with jumbled words. He figured you were drinking away your sorrows the same as him, but he never imagined it was this bad. 
He fought the urge to call you back and fall to his knees while he begged for another chance. He figured pushing you away was in your best interest. He knows you think he did it because you're a pogue; Sarah called to chew him out over it. 
If that's what helped, he was happy to let you believe it. In reality, it couldn't be farther from the truth. He didn't care about that at all. He knows he's fucked up and all he did was hurt you. 
He figured cutting ties and letting you find someone else was the better alternative to hurting you over and over again. 
He knows that you would never leave him, even if you should. So he decided to do it for you. 
"Okay, I won't touch you. Just please come back with me so I know you're safe. You don't have to talk to me or look at me the entire time if you don't want. Just crash in the guest room and I'll take you back to John B's in the morning." 
You know it's a bad idea, but you're starting to come down and you really miss how comfy the beds at Tannyhill are. He does an internal victory dance when you nod your head and has the valet pull the car around. 
The ride back is dead silent, but he doesn't mind. He's just happy to have you back in his passenger seat where you belong. It's a relatively short drive, and before you know it he's pulling into the long familiar driveway. 
He opens the door for you and you have to remind yourself not to grab his hand the way you normally would. He puts his hand in his pocket to keep from placing it on the small of your back and lets you take the lead. 
An amused smile splits his face when you stop to take your shoes off and thrust them into his stomach. He takes them without any hesitation and carries them without complaint. 
This is familiar to him; your feet always hurt at the end of the night and it wasn't uncommon for him to end up carrying you or toting your shoes and bag around while you were dating. 
He even went as far as keeping a pair of flats in his truck; they're still in the back seat and he kicks himself for not remembering to offer them to you. 
"You're back ear-"
Rose stops mid-sentence when she sees you, and Rafe shoots her a look that tells her not to ask questions. His heart leaps as you trek up the stairs, the path second nature to you. 
He isn't expecting you to swing the door to his room open though and he wonders if it's intentional or just because you're too inebriated to realize. 
He takes a detour to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and painkillers before joining you. He stops in his tracks when he sees you rummaging through his closet and watches as you pull out your favorite hoodie of his, struggling to put it on. 
He debates offering to help before deciding not to push his luck. You're already back in his room when he never thought he'd see it again. The last thing he wants to do is drive you away.
He stands in place as you crawl under his comforter and settle into your side of the bed, nuzzling your head into the soft pillow. His scent is overwhelming and it brings you comfort.
You're sure you'll regret this tomorrow, but right now all you can focus on is being back in his white Egyptian cotton sheets. 
He hesitates for a second before going into the bathroom and grabbing a washcloth and moisturizer. His movements are calculated as he sits on the edge of the mattress and starts wiping away your makeup. 
You don't protest and he takes that as his sign to continue. Once your face is clean, he rubs the expensive lotion that you love into your face, making sure to use upwards movements the way he always saw you do. 
He grabs a pair of joggers and starts to leave when your voice rings out. 
"Just get in the fucking bed, Rafe." 
He doesn't need to be told twice and moves at lightning speed as he slips off his shirt and throws on his sweatpants. He makes sure to leave plenty of space and his heart stops when you roll over and lay on his chest. 
You seem to sense that he's about to say something because your hand comes up to cover his mouth. 
"Don't ruin it with words. Just enjoy it while it lasts."
He nods against your palm and you return your arm to its previous resting place across his abdomen. He hears his phone vibrate and grabs it off the nightstand, careful not to disturb you. You're already snoring softly when he unlocks the screen. 
There's a text from Sarah. 
Do you know if Y/N is okay? We can't get ahold of her and Topper said she left with you.
He snaps a quick photo of your sleeping figure and sends it. Her response is a red heart and he locks the phone before setting it back down. He settles in and falls into a peaceful slumber, elated to have you back in his arms.
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bluegalaxygirl · 6 months
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caring for you
plot: Headcannons for how they would care for you before a procedure/surgery.
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Chopper, Usopp, Nami, Robin, Franky, Brook and Jinbe.
So in two days im going in to hospital for a procedure and im starting to get nervous so i thought why not do this headcannon. I thought id try Law for the first time since i adore him. There will be platonic and romantic parts so you can read what ever section you like. Theres only three people im not doing lovers for and thats Chopper, Brook and Jinbe. hope you enjoy. I'll try and post after i get back but it may be a while. im planning on doing a series of this though. Reader is GN.
Warning: fluff, bad language.
PROLOGUE
^ The surgery/procedure will be taking place in a few days, Chopper and Law will be doing it and even though your trust them you cant help but be worried. you managed to keep it hidden but now that its only two days away the knot in your stomach has tightened some much you can hardly breath.
^Your friends have taken notice and want to help calm you down. The fact that your not eating or sleeping well has them worried for you.
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LUFFY
^ His goal is to make you laugh and smile, silly faces, jokes, showing you cool things. he wants all his friends to be happy and healthy and knowing you weren't healthy meant he had to make you even more happy
^ The first thing he noticed was you not eating enough, it confused him and wondered if it was the food at first. he didn't take food off your plate anymore instead pushing some of his food onto your plate wondering if you would eat it.
^ you were too distracted by his actions to notice, it made you more nervous seeing the extra food on your plate. This continued for a while until asked why you weren't eating, it came out of no where but you explained. you had to be very clear otherwise he wouldn't understand. He told you about what he'ed been doing and it made you laugh, the smile on your face sparking a smile to for on his. he didn't do it again when you asked him to stop but at least he made you laugh.
^ Will run up to you and hug you, he used to slam into you but with Nami stopping him more often now he manages to catch himself and stop just before he hits you, then hugging you lightly. He trust Chopper and Traffy to look after you and tells you that all the time "You have the worlds best doctor looking after you and traffy" if he says it in front of everyone chopper goes all happy about it while Law yells at him "Im a doctor two you know"
^On the day he doesn't realize your leaving for a little while until your about to go, he gives you a hug and tells you come back and that the crew wont be the same without you.
Lovers:
^ Will give you his hat to where if your feeling really upset and sit on the head of the sunny with you one arm around your shoulder the other on your leg.
^ will take baths with you when you want too soaking in the warm water with him, he'll wash your back and lightly touch the place that is making you ill or in pain. "Does it hurt?" he asks but you shake your head turning to hug him "No, you make the pain go away" He cant help but smile and laugh at this, he's so happy he makes your pain go away.
^ He's a loud sleeper and sometimes hard to wake up but if you get up in the middle of the night he will shoot away feeling you no longer next to him "Midnight snack?" he asks always, he hopes its a yes so you'll eat something and he can join you.
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ZORO
^ You tend to train with him and he pushes you to your limits but once he found out you needed surgery/procedure all that stopped, no more weight lifting no more push ups or sit up, no bench presses no matter how much you ask to train with him.
^ It annoyed you to no end, did he think you were weak or not worthy of you time, you both argued about it often soon reaching its boiling point. The crew noticed the tension between you two, Nami, Sanji and usopp telling him multiple times to calm down.
^ "Im worried about you ok?" Zoro snaps, realizing what he said he takes a step back. "You dont think im weak?" you ask and he nods "Of cause not". you two make up form there and he agrees to help you train but only small things, again no heavy stuff things that will hurt you.
^ Most of the time its just you helping him with his training. Sitting on his back when he does push up and things like that. you both dont talk much during this time but its normal, it makes you feel normal.
Lovers:
^ He sleeps alot and when he naps you have to nap. even if your not tired you need to sleep. he will drag you form what ever your doing either to sit on his lap and snooze or go to your bedroom where he would spoon you. "You, me, Nap, now" is all he will say to you.
^ He's always been protective but the part of your body thats getting worked on is 100% more protected than the rest of you. some one comes to close to it and they go flying, doesn't matter if its a crew member or not but he will let chopper touch there because he is a doctor after all.
^ HAS had a fight with Law over the surgery/procedure, the fight had to be stopped by multiple member of each crew. you had to calm him down and tell him everything is going to be ok. he just wanted you safe and healthy, you could see that and loved him for that.
^ The day you have to go he doesn't leave your side, he carries you to his morning work out not letting you raise a finger to help just wants you to sit there and watch while he shows off. its a great distraction but when its time to go he gives you a long kiss telling you he'll see you when you get back.
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SANJI
^ Your not eating right and that a big No No for him. you need to keep your strength up, He made foods that were easy on the stomach and that contained a good amount of calories while also being small.
^ He didn't force you to finish your plate even when there wasn't much on it to begin with and tries to give you snacks more often threw out the day. Any drink he gave you had some kind of fruit chunks in it.
^ Because of this you felt like you could confide in him about how you were feeling. you told him how you felt sick all the time and every time you looked at food it made it worse. You love his food and want to eat it but your to nervous to eat. "Theres no need to worry im sure theres something we can get you to eat, even if its liquefied" sanji says with a pat on your head
^ You two have a long talk about what you would like to eat and how much, he suggests things like ginger, crackers and cheese and apples since those help settle a upset stomach. The advice he give helps make you feel better managing to eat a little bit more than normal.
^ Chopper will come and talk to him about foods you should be eating and what to avoid, of cause he knows all this but is happy to have chopper tell him again, he's secretly scared that he might have missed something off the list.
^Hours before your procedure/surgery your not aloud to eat or drink so he keeps food away form you as much as possible, he doesn't want you to see hungry at seeing the food he give everyone else
Lovers:
^ Expect lots of love and praise. This man will be on his knees telling you how amazing, strong and brave you are even when you feel like dieing inside. He will touch the part of you that's going to get worked on and tell you that no matter what even if it leaves a scar he will still love you.
^ "My love, you'll be just fine its normal to be nervous, im here for you." His hands cupping your cheeks making you look up at him. "Thank you Sanji... I'll be fine, i have you looking after me" those words shoot a spark through his heart, he loves you so much it hurts.
^ Will get up in the middle of the night if you cant sleep, you dont want him to stay up with you other wise he'll be up all night but that doesn't stop him, he will hold you close to him and place soft light kisses on your cheek whispering sweet things to help you sleep
^ Will NOT smoke around you, if you come near him while he's smoking its out immediately. I don't know much about whats going to happen but he knows you system needs to be clear of any medication or substances that includes second had smoke.
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LAW
^ He didn't notice your nerves until he found you in choppers office asking all kinds of questions. You had been hiding it well and he thought the straw hat crew were just overreacting but he pieced it all togeather in that moment, you didn't eat much, you fell asleep during the day and you never spent a moment by yourself.
^ He did the only thing he could think off, chopper talking to you helped but you were still not eating right or sleeping so he asked if you wanted to see his ship. it was strange to you but agreed since law had a small smile on his face as he asked.
^He walked you threw the sub stopping at one and opening the door for you. he took you to see the operating room. "I thought seeing the place would make it less... scary" he hesitated not liking the word chose but it was better than any other in his head.
^ He like chopper talked you threw what would happen, showing you some of the less scary tools he would be using. it was scary at first but seeing everyone up close and knowing that it wasn't going to touch you now made you feel better, you had time to think and adjust.
^ If you up late you can always go to law he's most likely up in his office studying something. you can drink tea with him and sit in silence. Law will sometimes ask Bepo to come in and comfort you knowing the big white bear will hug you and talk with you.
^ The day of the surgery/procedure he gets everything ready with choppers help. some of his crew are there to help. he always had his stuff on when you enter the room chopper leading the way. he asks how you are but other than that he's mainly focused on his job.
Lovers:
^ As he would explain things he would touch you. using his fingers to show where and what would happen. it was a weird sensation and you couldn't take your eyes off him.
^ Unfortunately he was in his own little world explaining things to you that he didn't notice you had started silently crying. everything up to this point had been building up, you didn't want to be alone and yet you needed to be alone in order to get your fear and tears out. This moment seemed like the only calm one you've had in a while.
^ You hugged him out of no where setting him back but he noticed the tears you were shedding. This poor man had no idea what to do, he made you cry and he didn't even realize you were upset. "Im so scared. why am i scared? i shouldn't be, i trust you but..." he stops you form saying more with a kiss, it was sweet but also a little rough "Its natural. I'll do everything i can to make you better. just name it" He asks pulling away form you lips.
^This beautiful man will do anything for you as long as it doesn't interfere with the surgery/procedure. He will lay with you in bed if you want him, he will get you food or water when you need it, he will hold you close to him while he studies. what ever it takes to make you feel loved.
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CHOPPER
^ You trust chopper but the unknown scares you so thats what he wants to help with. you two will sit in his office going over what will happen before, during and after. he answers all your questions and will explain anything you dont understand.
^ He tries not to use too many medical words but if he does he explains them. He knows the others are helping you in different areas but he wants to help with that too. he cant give you any meds to help you relax. you cant have any meds in your system before hand except the ones he gives you on the day.
^ When he sees you nervous he'll take off his hat and place your hand on his head with a smile. "touching something warm and fluffy can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine, in other words it makes people happy and relaxed. so if you need too you can touch my fur" You can't help but love this boy, so sweet and smart.
^ When ever you thank him and call him doctor he goes all shy and calls you names but with a big smile on his face. you end up doing this deliberately since it makes you smile. he's so cute waving his arms around.
^ Chopper of cause worries about your food intake and sleeping pattern. He makes sure to have a talk with Sanji about food and whats best for you even though he knows that Sanji has it covered and knows way more about food than he does. As for sleep, he will sometimes sneak into your room to check on you. if your awake he will crawl into bed with you telling you that sleep is important. he cuddles with you mainly falling asleep way before you but he brings you comfort.
^ The day of the surgery/procedure he's helping law get everything ready before walking with you to the operating room. he takes your hand with a smile telling you your in good hands and theres nothing to worry about. "Don't worry, i'll be there the whole time"
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USOPP
^ He doesn't know what to do. when his mum was sick he used to make jokes and tell stories, he did the same with Kaya but neither of them responded the way you did. The jokes he made caused you anxiety to boil over.
^ You tried to hid it form him knowing he was only trying to help but you would brake down when you were alone. Usopp found you though and tried to comfort him. when he realized it was him that upset you he apologized over and over again. You didn't want him to be sorry, he was only trying to help.
^ When ever you needed a shoulder to cry on Usopp was your man and his stories, although full of lies, would cheer you up, they were silly and full of life, it distracted you form what was going to come and he made sure to make then bigger and better each time.
^ He worries about you not eating and almost treats you like a child, its not amusing and no matter how hard you stare daggers at him he doesn't let up, its normally Nami or Zoro who end up hitting him over the head
^ "Choo Choo, here comes the train Y/N" He smiles the spoon full of food gliding it over to you only to be hit on the head "Will you knock it off" Nami yells making you laugh at poor usopp on the floor.
Lovers:
^ He will make wooden flowers for you, all your favorite kind made out of different types of wood, giving you one each day, treating you like a princess.
^ Sleeping next to him at night is strange though, you'll just lay there wide away unable to sleep as he drools on your shoulder fast asleep. You never realized before that he talks in his sleep. your boring night's turn into entertaining nights.
^ "Yay..... beat that dragon Y/N..... No luffy we cant eat it.... ok maybe we can" You try to hold your laughs in, he thinks highly of you and has so many funny dreams. you wont tell him about it though not wanting to spoil your little secret.
^ On the day you have to go he gives you one last wooden flower, its one he's been making form the start, its not too big but its perfect, no sharp edges, perfectly smooth, perfectly shaped petals leaves and stem. He hugs you telling you good luck before you leave.
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NAMI
^ The best person to go to in this situation. she knows how to relax, a warm bath, face masks, hot stones, you name it she has the stuff for it and will happily help you relax.
^ She will get little bags of lavender for you, the smell clams you and you can keep it on you at all times. After dinner is when she suggests hot towels, face masks and cucumber over the eyes. "Time for a spar day, get ready to relax" she cheers handing you the stuff you need.
^ You two will sit on her bad listening to the sound of ocean hot stones on your back relaxing your muscles and calming your mind. You both dont talk just basking in the silence and the feeling of the heat. Sometimes Robin will join you two the three of you relaxing when ever you can. she always seems to find new ways to relax and shares it with you as long as your ok with it.
^ She's very worried about your eating but wont show it, she knows sanji can take care of it but the only problem is usopp. every time he tries to feed you she hits him, your not a child and putting focus on you to eat may make things worse.
^ When its time for you to go she will hug you with a big smile saying you'll be just fine and when you get back she'll paint your nails (it doesn't matter if your a boy she will still do it).
Lovers:
^ She can be clueless when it comes to knowing how to deal with you in this situation. your her lover and you two get along great, you always there for her and now she needs to be there for you. other than the relaxation she doesn't know what else to do.
^ She over thinks things sometimes doing too much but you know she loves you and just wants you to feel safe. Its you that has to reassure her.
^"I'm supposed to be the one helping you not the other way around. Gods i cant do anything right" she cry's something she hates doing but this vulnerable side of her shows you how much she cares for you. "Nami... you caring is the only thing i need" you say before kissing her.
^ She has trouble sleeping just like you do, she'll stay up with you and talk about anything and everything. she also try to make you fall asleep by shoving your head back down onto the pillow and whispering to you. she remembers what her mum used to say and repeats those things, it surprisingly works, the calmness in her voice and the feeling of her next to you gives you so much comfort.
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ROBIN
^ You can talk to her about anything even if they are incoherent fears and worries, she holds no judgment and doesn't push them away, instead understanding and helping you threw it. she validates your feelings but gives you logic to counteract those feelings. "Its completely normal to feel this but just remember, its very unlikely for that to happen and you have the two best doctors looking after you"
^ She knows what herbal teas will be good for anxiety and helps Sanji make the tea for you, she'll drink it with you as you talk about things. she knows exactly what to say but she also doesn't sugar coat things, she wont lie to save your feelings but thats a good thing, you need someone to be straight with you.
^ She will try and help you relax joining Nami in self care, she'll rub your shoulders and back sometimes using her devil fruit powers to massage your legs as well, unsurprisingly she is very good with her hands and knows all the best places to rub.
^ She will sun bath with you and Nami on the ship now and again readjusting the umbrella with her devil fruit powers to keep the sun off you if you've been out there a while. You sometimes get so relaxed that you fall asleep, Robin making sure the sun doesn't burn your skin while you rest.
Lovers:
^ She will read to you when you cant sleep, this woman is a god sent, her calm demeanor and voice helps sooth you making you more tired than before. her soft book reads her book out in almost a whispers. Sometimes she gets so lost in the book that she doesn't even notice you've fallen asleep.
^ Once she realises your asleep she'll kiss your forehead and lay down next to you taking your hand in hers "Good night my darling, i love you" she whispers before falling asleep.
^ She will hold you hand when ever she sees you nervous, the touch relaxing you a little knowing she is there for you. She wont leave your side all that much wanting to be there in case you have a panic attack or feel ill.
^ When you have to go she will give you one of her favorite books and tells you to read it after its all over and she'll see you as soon as she can, flashing you her beautiful smile and kissing your cheek.
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FRANKY
^ He is your hype man, always cheering you on. he'll show off new things he's working on or has made weather big or small most of the time trying to get you involved. he hopes it will take you mind off things.
^ He knows what its like to go threw a surgery/procedure, he's had many, many done in the past. he wont give advice on it though, his situation is different to yours and knows that Chopper and Law can deal with anything like that.
^ The only thing he will tell you is funny stories of things he did and said while coming out of the anesthesia, it always made you laugh but you did worry about what you would say or do in that situation. "I woke up and screamed IV TRAVAILED INTO THE FUTURE, IM A TIME LORD"
^ He assures you that no matter what you say or do no one will care, he on the other hand will 100% remind you of what you said after words but wont tell you that.
Lovers:
^ he will offer you his cola when ever you look thirsty, even if its his last one, he wants you to have it, he'll sit with you at dinner and most of the time not finish his plate. he thinks that by leaving food on his plate it will make you feel better about the fact you cant eat much and sometimes it works other times it doesn't, its a hit or miss situation.
^ You always lay on top of him when you sleep, he doesn't want to roll over and crush you but its also perfect. you listen to his heart beat, his calm and sleepy state keeps you relaxed. when you really cant sleep you can always wake him up, he wont mind and will stay up with you a little longer kissing you and telling you how cool and super you are.
^ the day you gave to go he does cry "Oh baby your SUPER amazing. So Brave to take this on" he yells as he sits in his knees looking at you. it makes you laugh but also filled with love. you feel more confident about it all now.
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BROOK
^ Expect an extensive amount of Bone jokes, even if its not going to be a surgery/Procedure on your bones, he's still going to make jokes to see you laugh.
^" Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?" Brook will just randomly appear beside you telling a joke "The hip consultant." He laughs even if you groan at him for bad jokes but at least the thought is there. his goal is to make your ribs hurt with laughter even when he's told off by a member of the crew.
^ "Why was the skeleton laughing??? because he hit his funny bone" he laughs not even looking at your unamused face "Brook that was the worst one yet" Brook bends down to you with lifeless eyes "We'll than i guess i'll have to try another, this one is a real RIB tickler" you couldn't help but groan.
^ If he finds you up at night he will sit with you and play his violin, keeping it calm and soothing. it makes you sleepy and if you do fall asleep he wont stop, he'll keep playing until he falls asleep. The music soothing the two of you.
^ A few hours before you have to go he will ask if you want to listen to a song to help calm you down. your nerves are really starting to show and of cause you take him up on the offer hoping to clam you down. Again the song is calming and soothing helping you to relax.
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JINBE
^ He can sense your nerves and knows its not an easy thing to go threw so he does what he does best and thats teach. He teaches you how to relax yourself, some breathing techniques and meditation. If you breathing is off at anytime he will help you telling you to "Breath in for 5 and out for 5, imagine a square follow the lines as you breath in and out" its surprising how much that helped
^ He'll sit with you if he finds you doing it on your own, no words spoken just two friends sitting beside each other, His calmness seems to make you ten times more calm.
^ He will also teach you a bit of fish man Yoga, you didn't even know it was a thing ans was surprised by how easy it was, it didn't put any strain on your body but also helped relax your muscles, the fluid movement keeping your breathing deep and steady.
^ A few hours before you have to go he sits with you to do another calming exercise and tells you again how to breath and relax. he tells you there is nothing to be afraid of and that your in the best hands possible. "You''ll be just fine, your in capable hand."
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stateswscarlet · 7 months
Note
Hi!! thanks to you and your threads i finally manifested my sp after (wait for it…. this will be long!!!)
3 years of separation and 1 year of no contact!!!!!!!!!!!!
let this me a reminder to anyone out there struggling or thinking time matters. i was in such a lack state for years and had horrible things happen between sp and i but im telling you i took a healthy way to do this and remembered theres nothing i can do to “make” it happen. i reread so many of your threads and read edward art series from a new set of eyes and decided to calmly shift my state ONCE without the expectation of perfection, making something happen, waiting for the 3D, etc (all of which I did unfortunately for a year and a half and never manifested anything “big”) i just shifted my state FOR me 100%. in that moment i didn’t even care about sp, about 3d, about reflecting, heck i didnt even care if i shifted states right. i just DID IT. now ik what you and alia meant by “just do it” because THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.
anyways after i shifted my state (probably for the first or for real this time in my whole journey), i felt nothing unusual or different in a huge way (coz why would i? if im with sp i wont feel special all day) and i KID YOU NOT SCAR I think it was like maybe 3-4 hours later he (sp) CALLED me on “accident” THREE times. I was so confused as I didn’t have his number saved yet as I recently got a new phone, but then I got a text from him saying it was *his name* and if this number still belongs to me. I didn’t even panic or freak out or even think “omg i manifested this bc of my state!” i just approached it normally and replied saying it was my number. He then told me “suddenly” he keeps getting reminded of me and has been missing me for a while and wanted to see me. We decided to catch up after uni last weeks monday and it was SO GOOD. he “changed” in good ways and yes i will admit it was awkward at first because we hadn’t talked in so long nor been alone with each other but that went away so fast!!!! we kept seeing each other daily for a week and he confessed he likes me a lot, and I did too and told him ive been missing him. he said nothing ever compared to me and that the breakup hit him hard but he hid it from me. he said he has been missing me for a year now (proof that i actually shifted states and dealt with a “new” sp because a year ago he told me he dislikes me, is completely over the relationship and told me to move on because it had been 2 years at that point and he was thinking of seeing someone else). this week on wednesday he took me on a date to our old special place in my city and officially asked me to be his girl!!!!!!
so from shifting my state ONCE and all the way to relationship it took a little under 2 weeks.
oh also - just because in my story i only shifted my state properly once dont mean anyone else is wrong for doing it multiple times!!! a KEY part of the law is knowing that WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU AND IS NATURAL TO YOU IS WHAT WILL “WORK”. whatever YOU ENJOY imagining is what will shift your state!!!! STOP trying to do everything and worry about stuff thats not yours to worry about and JUST IMAGINE.
thank you again to the loa/ss community and especially you Scar!!! I will most likely still be lurking and supporting you and my other favourites on twt but not as active anymore ;)
OMGGG CONGRATS ANONNNN 🥳 🎉🎊👏🏻🪅
this makes me sooo happy and proud thank you for sharing your success and how you did it!
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lizandbo · 2 years
Note
hi:)
could i request a scenario with mha boys where the reader is midsize and she is a foodie. she like cooking in the dorm kitchen, but her bf notices her not cooking as much and feeling self-conscious. srry if it sounds stupid :) <3
OML NO IT DOEST SOUND STUPID I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AHHHH
thankyou for requesting<333 i literally squealed when someone actually requested something :,) sorry if its long tho lol
Masterlist
if you wanna request other things go ahead!
katsuki
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Since you like to cook and katsu is good at cooking, yall can have lil dinner dates yk?
anyways yeah katsuki doesnt care if you eat like 6-8 times a day n make a lot of food
whatever makes you happy and comfy is what he wants for you
Usually you make food for the two of you in the afternoons, a mini date(?)
he spots you in the dorm kitchen and makes his way over to you; snaking his arms around your plush waist, putting his head on your neck
Katsu observes the food that your stirring rn and goes:
“Are you making a plate for yourself y/n?”
“Yeah..?”
“Why’s it such a small damn batch then?”
“Im just… I guess im not that hungry today”
“Damn nitwit you think I dont notice? yesterday you only ate itty bitty snack. now today your portion of the food is rat sized shit”
he left the silence for you to answer, which you didnt really wanna answer since katsuki would quite literally explode if you told him the truth
“Theres nothing to worry about i just kinda got off tack the last two days ig”
“…fine”
the next couple days hasnt been any better
he saw you scrolling through tumblr, but around this time you were eating or at least both at the same time
“y/n stop fucking with me”
you: 😀❓
“tf do you mean”
“Im not blind y/n you stopped eating, this isnt like you”
he was practically towering over you while you were sitting on the bed
Kat stared in the middle of your gorgeous soul
“speak damnit..”
“… do you like me this way?”
“What?”
“Like.. big? and i know eating all the time wont help either”
“This is the most dumbassery I've ever encountered in my whole life, it doesnt matter to me if you are bigger than most people. the only damn thing that matters is the person who you are in the inside… im not tryna be sappy damnit”
katsu crossed his arms “now, were going to eat your f/f whether you like it or not” he grabbed your hand and dragged you to the kitchen to have a lil dinner/ cooking date
throughout the dinner/cooking date he said lil reassuring words to you to help out your insecurity
kirishima
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^ this is basically how he acts after sparring
Kiri hugs you from the back placing gentle kisses on your neck, going up down n across the nape
the gesture tickles you a bit, scrunching your shoulders up a bit
he squeezes you, loving the way that your whole body feels like a pillow
“How about we go out and eat today?”
“But its really expensive, i can just make something quick for you”
Kiri squishes you even more and basically hops on the couch with you still in his arms “but we can get all the food that we want tho!”
All you wanted to do is just run away, laser all the fat off and just be done with it and feel like a ‘normal’ person, without feeling like your being judged all the time
“Yeahh but we can also eat something… more healthy”
“but you always love to eat with me! whats wrong?”
“Idk i just dont feel like it today”
“Its ok, somedays are just like that”
he kisses you quickly and yall stay and cuddle there for a bit
eventually you guys pick up some snacks together
even just picking out something or mentioning food just makes you go uneasy and eiji notices
for the whole week you havent been doing your normal cooking, just simple quick snacks after school and avoiding eating out
kiri realizes he has to do something bout this
“hey baby?”
you were sitting at the table, scribblin things down
“did you eat today?”
“Yeah i ate some cereal and thats about it”
😐 “baby no you gotta eat more, why dont you cook for us!”
you continued scribbling
“But i dont need to eat more do you even know what i look like??”
“Yes i do and its a wonderful sight”
“Eijiro no”
“Eijiro yes!”
“wtf is wrong with you kiri”
“I look like a bloated walrus or a whale about to explode”
“No you do not look”
he squat down to your tummy, lifted the fabric that was covering it kissed it a bunch of times n nuzzling and everything
your cheeks got heated really fast by the action
he looked up to you “see? you got nothing to be ashamed of, its a really nice pillow” he went to your chest and nuzzled that too “and heres your really sweet personality”
he hugs you really tightly and kisses at the crown of your head and his hands goes to your cheeks and squishing them too
“your so cute, you know that?”
“Shush”
yall ended up cooking together, mostly you tho
“Your like a wizard in the kitchen!”
“And your the goblin that never learned how to cook”
“Damn y/n ig someones grouchy”
after yall are done making the food he spoonfed you, making sure that you felt loved and understood
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mytruepairings · 9 months
Text
something i really want to see in s3 is carmy gaining a little of his self worth back and i feel like the fallout from claire will help with that.
he literally says he doesnt need happiness or entertainment or any of the things he had with her. he's lived so long without them he knows how to cope without it - no matter how isolating it gets.
but he did have it. claire did give that to him and he enjoyed it enough to shirk his responisibilities to those he cares about. i think its going to hit him differently this time and im here for it. i want him to want those things for himself. i don't think him and claire will get back together but i think he'll slowly be able to accept that he wants those things now and move towards it in a more balanced manner (probsafter throwing himself back into work for a bit again). but he'll feel that void more now bc it had started to be filled.
this time i think it'll be filled with syd tho - even if they're hanging out just for work and as friends. they already have such a connection i think carmy will become more aware of it now. slowly, of course. but i think thats what they both need.
if they want a healthy steady relationship then i think they both need it to start from friendship, trust, and a place of comfort or solace. carmy def needs that bc he's just lacked healthy intimacy in his life. syd on the otherhand.. doesnt seem to have a lot of friends. at least from what we've been shown. she has good relations, but what i found interesting is that when marcus hinted at romance with her she got very weirded out. and yes, it could be bc she sees him as just a friend but part of me wonders if shes also scared of intimacy. we never see her be really emotional -besides being angry or stressed- all the other times shes really calm even when she opens up to carmy. she states what she thinks and needs but its in a very matter of fact way. as far as ik, like carmy, she's never seen a healthy relationship bc she was to young to notice those things when her mom died.
slow burn is perfect for them. esp since syd def doesnt realize or at least want to admit she may have actually been jealous. that her feelings may be more. and in s3 when things playout between her and marcus i really wonder how carmy will react bc i think to everyone they seemed to be just friends. so if marcus pursues her a lil more openly or ppl find out that he likes her then that might spark something in carmy just like claire did with syd. at the very least they might become closer if they open up to each other about their love lives if they need advice or help with marcus/claire.
idk just thoughts.. but id LOVE to see the angst that comes with slowburn of both carmy and syd becoming aware of their feelings but not being able to act on them - for whatever reason. whether they're scared to lose the other or that the other wont feel it back and saying something about it will make things weird between them. what i think would be amazing is if they pull off the 'she fell first but he fell harder trope' bc rn we know for a fact that syd knew who he was when she walked into that diner, that she's always respected him, and that her dad doesnt care if that diner closes down. so i have to wonder if she actually went there for him
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actualbird · 10 months
Note
hi zak! I saw the tags you left on a reblogged post about Luke and suffering in relation to catholicism and that made me think. one of my classmates used to mention "the catholic guilt" (particularly about having desire), and I just thought it fits Luke so well. He felt so guilty about loving Rosa (and leaving her alone...) for so long T-T. Also, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about catholic and filipino luke if you'd like to write about it!
irt to these deranged tags i left on this post abt suffering as salvation and luke forever ago, screencapped below for reference
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hello hello! sorry this response took Ages but now im finally down to answer this so....
//steeples hands.....is luke pearce catholic coded? to Me, yes, and ive been casually throwing around this concept ever since 2021 HAHA. the filipino bit is actually just me projecting, so i wont go too much into that, but the religious bit Is something i wanna talk about. and i apologize in advanced for how long this response is gonna end up being
quick disclaimer b4 i start tho: im Not a theologian or an expert in religious theory, im just some guy who went through over a decade of catholic school and lives in the philippines, a primarily catholic country. this whole response is not saying "catholicism bad." it's more the institutions from where we experience catholicism from can twist it into something harmful, and i got to experience that first hand and how it affects one's view of themselves
ANYHOO, LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING
like....the Beginning beginning
part 1: in the beginning, adam and eve did an oopsie so now we're all saddled with original sin (i swear this is important to luke pearce, bear with me)
quick recap on those who are unfamiliar: in the book of Genesis, god told adam and eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. and then they did. this was the first ever sin in the history of humankind, and it is inherited by all humans through birth. so like, yay, happy entrance into the world, newly born baby child! you are guilty of sin already. this original sin is most usually absolved though through baptism, so it's not too much of a problem. but what im interested here is less of the nitty gritty semantics and more of the concept this all puts forth:
that under catholicism and similar denominations, a child, somebody who has not done any wrong at all, is inherently tainted by sin
now, the Good reaction to sin or any wrongdoing one has done is to recognize it and to atone for forgiveness. and within the "recognition" part is where guilt lies. functionally, guilt has a purpose. it makes us realize that we had done something wrong, it makes us feel remorseful, and it adds motivation to atone, to turn a new leaf, and to be better. in healthy amounts, guilt is useful and a natural part of being conscious over the things you do. and in unhealthy amounts, guilt is agonizing.
but thats for stuff you actually Did.
if the thing you are guilty for isnt actually something you were responsible over, the guilt cant do anything to make any of it better. you cant be a better person from it, because you didnt even do it. it just sits there, making you feel horrible for something that was out of your control. but because guilt is a Good thing to do, it doesnt matter if it's functional or not. it needs to stay. because it's Good, and the sin youre saddled with (whether or not you were responsible) is Bad
now let's bring in luke
luke's parents died when he was very young. this led him to living with mc's family, and a huge insecurity and fear he had from the beginning was that he felt guilty for burdening them, for stealing the love and care from mc's parents when that shouldve been for mc alone. the story SSR Shape Of You goes into this particular childhood experience extensively (and i highly reccommend it to anyone who hasnt read it yet), and tells us that his guilt was so bad that he wanted to run away and even erase himself from existence.
but luke didnt even do anything wrong
at the time, he was a child. he had no bearing whatsoever in the accident that killed his parents, he had no sway over who wouldve ended up looking after him, he had no control over the situation. like a newborn baby born under catholic doctrine, luke finds himself inherently tainted by and guilty for the circumstances that landed him to where he was.
this kind of pattern is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and the concept of inherent sin and inherent guilt begins to evolve. if luke can find himself guilty for things out of his control, then he can also find himself guilty for things that arent even sins in the first place
key example: love
like you said, luke feels immense guilt over loving mc. but why? love is the opposite of a sin, afterall.
it's just a sin when luke does it. because luke sees himself as inherently bad, and sees mc as inherently good. he sees himself as unworthy of her or someone who will just bring pain into her life, and causing pain someone you love is bad. if love is the knife he uses to hurt someone he loves, then that love is bad. that love should not be realized, and luke should feel guilty for even yearning for her.
by this point i think it's obvious that original concept has become twisted and overly punishing, even cruel. and thats because:
a lot of institutions teach catholic doctrine in an unhealthy and harmful manner. this is why many catholics and lapsed catholics experience The Catholic Guilt(TM). what was originally a pretty reasonable thing gets blown out of proportion from the places we learn these things from, and then getting exposed to this for majority of our lives lets it worm its way into our brain where it'll tend to stay
and if one's brain also has a tendency for self hatred and/or mental illness........well. it all gets worse.
it's clear in canon that luke is uhhhh not the most mentally well individual. his guilt is so overwhelming that it's the driving force in so many of his choices, stories, and experiences. which is big reason #1 for why luke just seems so catholic to me, because of the sheer intensity of his guilt and how he sees himself as inherently bad and unworthy.
but in the roadmap of sin, thats only the beginning. because the process goes:
sin (bad) -> recognition of the bad aided by guilt (good) -> atonement to become better (good)
which leads to big reason #2
part 2: suffering, pain, and misery as atonement
it's important to note that catholicism does not posit that "suffering is good", but there is a clear pattern of veneration for people who endure suffering under noble causes. many, many people in catholic history have been martyred (and many also sainted), one of the biggest examples being jesus himself.
pain is not good, but someone who chooses to take it on for good reasons (self-sacrifice, martyrdom, putting others above one's self) or stays good in spite of all the pain they experienced (unwavering faith, a heart of gold), well, THAT person is good.
however, like a lot of stuff in catholicism, things get twisted into extreme variations because of how it gets taught or experienced. it doesnt take a genius to see how "people who endured pain for good reasons were brave and devoted people" can transform into "to experience pain is inherently noble" when you take into consideration that many sins (like, of the seven deadly sins variety, pride, sloth, lust, etc etc) are variations of indulgence.
specifically over-indulgence, yes, but there's a dichotomy now. here, in the list of Good Stuff are things that feel not-so-good, and over in the list of Bad Stuff are things that do feel good
bad stuff is a sin, and from part 1, sins are things you should be guilty for
and now, to feel good is also bad, so you should be guilty for that. which reinforces the concept that to feel bad is good.
congratulations, you've unintentionally glorified suffering and demonized pleasure! //sad trumpet noises
you can see this kind of thinking pretty clearly in luke pearce. there are the big examples like the previous one i brought up, where he feels so guilty for his feelings for mc. but it appears even in smaller casual situations, like in his 1st birthday event story. this moment was seared into my brain
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"can i look forward to this?" is indicative of hesitating in the face of happiness. even something as mundane as anticipating a birthday surprise is something to be approached with caution, feels too good to be true, to be allowed, because feeling good is bad and luke doesnt see himself worthy of it
but okay, we're all guilty now of the horrible sin of enjoying life. what comes next? atonement, becoming better, growing from the bad to become good, right?
and what better way to cleanse one's self from the sin of feeling good but through the nobleness of enduring pain?
luke is guilty over the sin robbing burdening mc and her family -> thats okay he's leaving for college anyway! wont be able to burden them there -> oopsie the NSB happens but hey at least this lone wolf suffering is a great way to atone for his past sin -> oh god the guilt of abandoning mc though -> oh GOD the mission that killed everybody but him -> NEW ACHIEVEMENT: SURVIVOR'S GUILT ON TOP OF THE CATHOLIC GUILT! -> oh GOD he's even guiltier now of his feelings for mc because of his illness, he'll only bring pain to her, how selfish of him to have feelings like this, bad and wrong -> the best way to handle this is to stay away from her to let her live in peace (lacking the pain that luke will bring) and deprive himself of her who brings him joy (inflicting pain of separation onto sinner as punishment) -> the path to salvation (to being good, because only in being Good is someone worthy of love) is through constant suffering and endless self-deprivation
kinda insane how luke's self-perceived sins and self-inflicted sufferings gain compound interest of misery, but his spiral into self-loathing is littered with this kind of nonsensical "because i did [THING], i should deserve pain/NOT deserve happiness"
for luke, suffering became the mode of atonement, it became the solution for sin and guilt.
part 3: conclusion
to wrap this all up, i wanna make it clear that i dont necessarily think luke is like, catholic in the story. nor is even it a headcanon i have. it's more that the intensely self-punishing thought patterns luke has in relation to guilt and suffering are very, very familiar. it resonates in a way that is horridly relatable to people who have experienced these specific catholic experience woes, but it can also resonate in completely different ways to other people as well.
but given that....yeah. based on my own experiences, all this //gestures at too-long response, is why i keep using catholic language and imagery whenever i talk about luke. it's so familiar. he's so familiar. luke would not be out of place in a filipino catholic high school crying during a 3 day retreat
thanks for the ask!!!
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nora-kano-rokii · 1 year
Text
Haikaveh where kaveh is pregnant and when they found out about it he freaks out bc he read stories online where husbands wouldn't like the wives as much after postpartum takes over.
For days after the discovery Kaveh wouldn't eat or sleep as much, so far as to not talk to Haitham as much in fear of provoking anything that'll make Haitham "hate" him even more after the delivery
"Why aren't you eating?"
"Oh I'm just... not that hungry. I ate lunch earlier."
"But we always have lunch together??"
"Well something came up and I gotta change my schedule a bit. Sorry about that."
He'll just lie and lie and keeps on lying.
Kaveh isn't the type to wish anything bad happening on his pregnancy period, but he does severely dread the day of delivery. He'd get anxious and nervous (even more than he usually is) around Haitham and is always thinking about his next lie.
He loves the idea of motherhood. He loves the idea of having a child to take care of. He loves the idea of a happy family because that was something he didn't get as a child and is now more than willing to do anything to give it to his child.
What he doesn't like is the fear of Haitham leaving him if he's not good enough to satisfy his needs. The fear where he'll lose his worth as someone pretty and just end up as someone thats already been "used" and is not "perfect" anymore.
Haitham gets wind of what's going on and approaches him one day.
"Sweetheart."
"Yes?"
"Whats wrong with you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Dont play dumb with me, sunshine. Tell me what's going on."
And then Kaveh will freak out, thinking Haitham already knows about the postpartum fear thing and start crying and begging for Alhaitham to not leave him. He'll do anything, he'll be a good wife and stay with the kids and do all the housechores and stay in shape and-
A simple kiss shut him about for good.
"You don't ever need to be sorry about how you look like after bearing my children."
"But.. I've read stories... and surveys- about how husbands are more displeased with their wives' body image after postpartum-"
"You think I care how you look like?"
Probably not the best thing to say (he should've rephrased it better) as Kaveh starts to tear up again.
"You... you don't think I'm taking care of myself well enough..?"
"No, it's not that. Kaveh, sunshine. I fell in love with you because of your physical image. That was only one of the reasons why."
"You... did not?"
"You thought I would be like some of those freaks that ogles you shamelessly on the side of the road? Of course not."
"But.. you always said that it's absolutely important for me to keep being healthy-"
"Sunshine, healthy does not mean body image. Healthy means you are happy with yourself. Which you are mostly aren't. That's why I told you to be healthier."
Kaveh wells up in tears again as he realizes what Haitham is saying. He kisses Kaveh's forehead and rubs his belly.
"This baby is going to make us a family. Why would I care about how you're going to look like?"
(Again, probably should've rephrased it better)
"Everything will be a marker of your battles. I'd love every stretch mark it'll create. All the cellulites that you worry so much about will be mine to behold." Another kiss to the forehead, "Kaveh, please understand. I love you for just the way you are."
"I did not fall in love with someone who obsesses with their beauty. I fell in love with the Light of Kshahrewar, the person who brights up my day with just a smile. The person who makes me fall in love all over again when they laugh."
"So please. Don't be afraid of our children. I promise that I'll love you no matter how you look"
Kaveh sniffs, "E-even if I were a fungi?"
Haitham sighes and smiles, "You'd be my favorite fungi ever."
-End
---
i have not posted in a hot minute GAWD DAYUM anyways hi everyone ive come back with FICS instead of DRAWINGS isnt that COOL theres VARIETY now!! Also this fic was first posted on Twitter as i had a brainrot at 4am so if you're intrested in that please go support me on Twt! Thank you everyone!
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allamericansbitch · 6 months
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A lot of people care about tayvis because of misogyny and the expectation that is put in women to be married and have kids at a certain age. That's why the conversation around them in the fandom is about how he's the one, the real deal for her, her endgame. Because they think she should be already married and the clock is ticking in the subject of her having kids (see all the weird ai pictures they have made of Taylor being pregnant with his kids). That's also why they hate Joe so much. He wasted her time, that, they think, she should have used to find her perfect husband to be and pop up some kids
i think this is definitely an a valid explanation for some people, i've seen plenty of misogyny riddled in the language they've been using so its possible. i think it could also be that this is people's ~fantasy~ for her. for her to be in an 'it couple' as some people are already calling it, which all that says to me is they want to get even more taylor content and have her as exposed as humanly possible, see her all the time and once again feel inserted into her personal life. sure her music is everywhere but they need more personal things. now her partner has a podcast, thats good news for them. she's regularly leaving the house and going to games; more content they get to see her more. they want taylor to be everywhere all the time no matter the cost to herself and well being.
they want her to actually live out this narrative they've already fully formed in their heads and now that it's happening (barely) they're just eating up any ounce of it they can get. thats why there's this extreme romanticization of it, 'omg he's such a simp for her' *is literally just holding a door open*, 'hes the most attractive man shes ever dated' *is yet another tall white blonde man with blue eyes*, 'the way he's holding onto her awww' *is barely touching her*, 'they seem so happy and healthy together' *thats just pure speculation based on nothing we have no idea how they feel or act behind close doors*... none of this is actually happening but its breadcrumbs to their own narrative so they're taking what they can get and running with it. i can't help but think about Taylor saying she struggles to feel like a person sometimes and not a character, or saying how she hated that her personal life became a public pastime... yet thats exactly what fans want for her.
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thedawningofthehour · 4 months
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so while I've been reading doth---and I'm sure this is mostly cuz I'm a sucker for good family dynamics---I've been all for draxum and galois and Casey getting to be a good healthy family unit, and have been righteously annoyed on the family for not being able to see that Donnie and galois are two separate people now and trying to treat gale like he's still they're brother when he's now functionally NOT, but then I got thinking about how, if when Donnie got new memories and became galois 'Donnie' continued existing as like a spirit or something, how he would feel about current events. And. I came up with this.
"Oh, no no no no, no no NO NO NO!!! HOW DARE YOU? How dare you care about him? How dare you comfort him? YOU DID THIS! You're the one who gave him those traumas! You don't get to pretend you didn't do anything! You don't get to erase what you did to me, like it didn't happen! How dare you erase my life, erase ME like I didn't matter. Like you can just make up this perfect son without having to deal with such silly inconveniences as the CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR OWN ACTIONS. Because the stupid thing is, you do might have won me over. Because you DO have a point. I really didn't know about all the bloody history, or the reality of life for yokai. And maybe I would've been willing to help you with a less crazy plan. But what kind of fucking conversation starter is chaining someone to a table? It's YOUR fault I wasn't willing to compromise. I can forgive you for having a cause. But I find it fucking HILARIOUS that you think it's reasonable to, after KIDNAPPING ME, make one (1) offer to let me choose to help you, WITHOUT REALLY GIVING ME A CHOICE, and when I said no just going, 'WELP, I TRIED. TIME TO FUNCTIONALLY MYRDER THIS TEENAGER.' BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DID!! You shattered me and shoved my broken pieces back together to make this perfect new person, caring so much that my 'personality' was intact, like you can just pick and chose parts of me that you like and get rid of the rest. How dare you? How DARE you reduce me to that?
You know it will destroy him, don't you? He's smart, just like I was. Eventually, he'll find a piece of evidence that you can't explain away, or my family will finally find a way to get through to him, and he'll finally put two and two together and realize what you did. Who he used to be. And when he does---when he finds out you've been lying the entire time, that all his memories aren't real---you know it'll destroy him, don't you? who he is and who he used to be will slam back together, and it'll be like a meteor crashing into a moon, and there will be no survivors. He'll break into pieces so small that you won't be able to build anyone new out of it this time. and then you'll have no one. And it's all you're fault. And there's no avoiding it now. It's inevitable. And I hope you know that by taking the short cut and cutting away the pieces of me you didn't like, my history and my loyalty and my love for my family, you've put a count down on his existence. you only have so long left with him, and there's no minimizing the damage. I hope you know. And I hope it eats you up inside.
and I can't wait for it to happen.For it to all come crashing down on you. I hope he gets dragged from your arms. And I don't care if we suffer in the process. I'd kill Galois just to make you feel his loss. I would have died to keep myself from you."
So I mightve gone a little overboard (and also a little out of character, but I like to think rage does things to a person), but long story short I'm not voting for them to be a happy family by the end of this anymore :/
Sorry that this is stupid long haha
Thanks for writing! I do really love your fic. It makes me think deeply
Donnie saying he would kill Gale is...interesting. Carry on.
Donnie and Galois don't really have separate consciousnesses or anything, but...yeah, this works.
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fucksurass · 11 days
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Redraw of my oc look look look hes so so DUMB
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Lines to no lines. Stubby to less stubby. Circles to fingers. I love how my art just randomly changed one day bc I was experimenting with my style. L-look at it please.
More about Norman Nick Nasher under the fucking cut⬇⬇
Norman is a totally normal boy with a completely normal family. Hes an only child so its just him, his mom and dad. They love him dearly and try their best to raise him correctly. Normal right? The only thing not normal about his family is him which is weird because his name is "Normal" with an N instead of an L. Yeah I lied when I said he was normal.
Norman has a little frog under his hat named Froggo. He loves reptiles a lot but loves frogs the most which is why his hat resembles a lilly pad. He will not believe frogs are not reptiles and no matter how many facts you throw at him he will likely call you gay at the end of it. If he likes you he will talk endlessly about frogs and/or reptiles and he wont stop unless something trivial catches his attention. If he doesnt like you he quite literally will not speak to you at all.
Craig. Doesnt he look like Craig? He doesnt know who Craig is. He has no idea who the guy is which makes you wonder why Craig doesnt like him. They met each other one day and Norman would not stop asking who Craig was. It was- Just imagine this:
"Hey."
"Hi. Who are you?"
"Im Craig."
"Who?"
"Craig."
"Whos Craig."
"Me? I just told-"
"Craig... I have no idea who Craig is."
"Craig is ME."
"My name is Norman. Whos Craig?"
"Dude. Im Craig..."
"Oh. Wanna see my frog?"
"Not really."
"What?! Frogs are cool what-"
"Look I just need you to understand who Craig is. I am Cra-"
"No I dont. Could you tell me who he is? People keep saying I look like him."
"We look nothing alike. Look my name is-"
"Anyway about frogs did you know that [insert very long paragraph on frogs]?"
"Shut up, Norman. Stop talking."
"You must not like frogs... Weirdo."
"No I dont have anything against frogs I- Im leaving."
Would you hate Norman too?
Norman knows he is gay. He is fully aware and uses that to his advantage. He will call anything gay and anyone a fag. He will not stop. Oh youre on your phone too much? Thats gay. You like men? Thats gay. You study for an exam? Thats gay. Youre depressed and in need of a hug? Fag. Why he does this? Scientists have yet to figure it out. Now Norman is in fact in a relationship. Who is he dating? Some kid named Chris. To see gay art of them look into their blog @normris wanna see me cry of yippe? Follow it peas. (And thats how you sell a product)
What is Normans favorite food? Oh its just the most delicious meal ever. Broccoli. Just loves it so so much. Why? No one knows. As far as his parents know they accidentally deprived him vegetables trying to keep him happy. Norman was a quiet baby and they thought he was sad so they spoiled him. He was not sad. He just had beef with his parents because he was shaken up in the womb. Anyway about broccoli!!!! He loves the stuff. He eats it as a snack, for every meal, even just randomly takes some out of his pocket and chows down. His boyfriend recalls the time he pulled out a pack of frozen broccoli while they were coloring together.
Our last unsettling fact about Norman is that he doesnt like the bible. No this is not because his parents are atheists. Its because they encourage him to believe in anything he wants. Because of his he believes in a frog god. Why does he hate the bible? Because it, and I quote, "made the snake a bad guy. Snakes are cool maybe he just wanted eve to be healthy. The bible is gay."
The end. (If you got this far I have a lollipop for you 🍭)
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melouthechalk · 1 year
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Sad start for baby Scar in that crazy world from my imagination
Theres might be mistakes in words or something, just ceep in mind that i tried hhaha
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He trapped in Angels graves bc of he's family. They trying to become an angel and get killed, but Scar get mercy... Almost
Angels blood a little dangerous for normal people, and theres nothing to eat so... Yippie
Scar met Doc, who says that Angels flesh is toxic for little human, but they both need food, so Doc teach him cook and stop blood, bc Scar get cut, and Doc don't have half of face what bleeding. Before he left, he teach how to bandage wings(with feathers of dead angels), and then he disappeared.
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Then he met Jimmy. He looks too scared and painful that Scar can't not help him, they have bonding time together, and also therapy session for each other. Scar helps bandage wings and make Jimmy feel safe in that mess like grave was, but one day he disappeared too. Scar start feel that something wrong w his organs. Thats not good
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Last one who he met was God of Death, well, fallen one, other gods cut her back wings and killed almost every of her angels. She was so upset, until she met Scar, then she get angry that they put little human kid in death hole. Scar help her and bandage her back. Her name is Kristin, and she see how little human dying, but Scar say that its ok he just a little sick, nothing bad. Until he starts cough with blood. Scar try to hide it, but Kristin see everything.
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Kristin takes him into her hands and kiss him in forehead. She gives Scar another healthy body that works with magic, well, toxin that in angels blood, but mostly on gods.
That body have wings, sharp claws and access to make own sword w extra magic. Its limited, Scar need eat his enemies. So he did. With God of Death they can have revenge, Scar killed most of gods, ones who stand on their knees gets mercy, but with one reminder scar that definitely stay in their skin forever, even with gods regeneration.
TW: Scars, no suggestive bc theres just Vexes body lol
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After all of that he can finally go in human world, but in hospital, where Doc works. He get operation on his heart and one of lungs, but his human body survived and thats only what matters.
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Now they like a happy tiny family with one father and two dum kids
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Thats not ending haha, its just start
Take bonus doodles for being awesome
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elvisabutler · 1 year
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Plssss 4 kids and he didn’t think he could give her one and the pregnancy being accidental I LIVE FOR THIS CANON!!! Can we get more headcanons on that, on when he tells her that he doesn’t think he can give her kids & she assures him that if anything them together is enough and when she becomes pregnant they are both so happy I want big daddy elvis to have the happiest endings (i think mainly bc elvis didn’t get his in real life but thats an ask for another time) and him watching her walk across the stage proudly caring his seed and then each time she gets pregnant he’s just like ?! bc he never even thought he would have one kid let alone 4 and graceland is never the same again
listen anon, originally they weren't supposed to have kids but i got talked into it by certain individuals who know who they are. they're also probably the same people who made it so i actually gave these two a happy ending that was longer than five years because i was gonna be that person. but i'll give you the headcanon but you have to give me the thing you said was an ask for another time. FOR IT IS ANOTHER TIME NOW.
listen. he knows he's older and he's maybe not the most virile but he figures it'd be a crying shame to not give her a baby. like he loves her so much that he kind of wants to see her all swollen with his kid and even after he wants their little kid running around graceland.
listen. he has to tell her that he's not sure he can get her pregnant, not for lack of trying, but just because he knows sometimes it's hard for him to get it up, sometimes all they really do is cuddle it's just more him knowing the limits of his body.
"I wanna give you one, wanna see you carryin' our baby but- if i can't- i can't guarantee it'll happen."
"as long as i have you it's alright. it's- you'd still love me even if we didn't have one, wouldn't you?"
"what kinda dumb- yeah i would, darlin'."
so they don't really plan on her getting pregnant because they had plenty of sex before without her being pregnant.
but then it's the semester she's supposed to graduate and look. professor presley knows her body. so he can see changes better than she can.
he notices her chest getting a little fuller and notices her bloating but it's only when she's nauseous all the time unless she's eating a snack that his brain makes the connection.
of course, he doesn't dare hope so he doesn't necessarily tell her beyond dropping some hints.
she goes to the doctor because she realizes she's missed her period and her symptoms as small as they are line up.
so turns out she is pregnant and she waits to actually cook him dinner to tell him in a show of silliness when normally she's pretty practical about matters like this.
when he realizes what she's trying to tell him he picks her up and just twirls her around because she's got his baby in her.
but since it's twins she shows quicker and one night while she's soaking in the tub he just places his hand on her stomach and pauses his book to say something.
"i was a twin." "what does that mean?" "ya sure there's jus' one in there?"
which no she's not but she doesn't want to necessarily believe the ultrasounds and how her body is really showing it.
but elvis fusses every second of this first pregnancy, because even after she walks, belly all swollen with his babies ( because he sees the ultrasound, it's gotta be two or an alien ) across that stage she's always in his class or in his office.
"sit down in the chair."
"elvis, i'm fine."
"it's m'job to keep you 'n them safe and healthy. sit down."
but he freaks out when she's in labor and is so thankful when he comes in to see her holding his little boy and girl in her arms.
and promptly buys the entire memphis mafia cigars. and drinks of their choice.
but it takes at least a couple years before she's pregnant with number three and honest he can't believe his luck. same is true for four except there's an even longer gap where he really did think it was just gonna be the three kids.
that last pregnancy is the really rough one. but it's also the one he's the most thankful for her and their kids and his life more than anything else.
also listen. graceland hadn't really been full of life since before his mama died. his daddy and his grandma weren't there so it really kind of was just him in that house. and after the kids? oh that thing is so lively it might as well be a playhouse for the entire neighborhood.
and also. also. look. there might have been this one time that a tabloid does a little "where are they now thing" twice where once is before him and belle get together and once after the twins with the third on the way. he is REALLY not happy about the second one due to the invasion of privacy when he's not famous any more.
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bulkhummus · 2 years
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i do think id very much like a carlos break down— perhaps a frantic voicemail, perhaps a muffled conversation accidentally heard happening on air after an ad ends— and carlos repeating this mantra of something like ‘im sorry im not perfect, i was never perfect, ill never be perfect’
Like OOO okay id LOVE for cecil to be rightfully petty — right— and we all laugh but then the voicemail comes and its carlos and we all think hes gonna be perhaps snippy/passive aggressive back but instead he just has this massive melt down because cecil has never been truly mad at him on broadcast before. And for carlos, he knows that means hes really and truly messed up.
and cecil just, not knowing what to say because ‘perfectly imperfect’ only goes so far and carlos doesn’t have emotional outbursts often so he’s so ill equipped. and hes also like directly facing the consequences off him being a dick to someone On Air which he almost never has to do. like cecil has grown and knows that carlos is a person who has flaws, and he loves the flaws because they make up who carlos is as well, but its hard for me to imagine carlos accepting cecil thinking of him as anything other than perfect when he takes back/negates so much of what he preaches. thats gotta be such a delicate thing to traverse. Not to mention the town idolizing him and placing him in this pedestal as well.
like its so so so delectable that carlos is such a private person about the things that really matter when hes dating the towns most boundary-eroded man. its so delicious that carlos is the ONE PERSON that cecil can’t pry a story out of and broadcast to the town for very fair and justifiable reasons. and the thing is, is carlos KNOWS cecil wants and expects more of him in regards to communication, hes very clear about it. (I do think its as equally difficult to date carlos for cecil as it is for cecil to date carlos) they have yet to meet their happy medium i think?
and now carlos is now being forced to confront his past (UOWII coming to set up shop in night vale) and i just want to see him uproot EVERYTHING. i want cecil Hurt, and carlos panicking and all of that good tasty drama — like sometimes an argument is necessary its healthy and pretending its all okay is NOT which i think cecil has a tendency to do— and ignoring it is Not which i think carlos tends to do and UGH i just think its over due. cecil being Actually Frustrated with Carlos and not just over dishes or spice racks.
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georgiaheartsdilfs · 2 years
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→ i can't do this anymore stefan s x f!reader
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my masterlist ↪M A S T E R L I S T
prompt ↪ After your fiancé, Stefan, had died in the blaze of fire. Everyone felt lost and although they were able to find peace in mind you couldn't and it made them think of the difference, why did it matter to you so much. "why can I take it and y/n can't?" "and then it made me realise, y/n, was the only thing stefan loved and now he was gone"
warnings / other notes ↪ written in elena's point of view ↪mentions of suicide ↪heartbreak ↪death ↪not eating? Y/N had been in her room for months, for a vampire I don't think thats healthy. Stefan's death had us all caught up for weeks, Damon got over it, I got over it. Not completely, I still think of him the way I could have said my last words to him differently. Caroline had come to check up on her everyday, she had hampers for y/n and left them in front of her bedroom door but they'd stay there until the next morning when Caroline came back. "how is she?" Damon walks into the hall to check up on me and her, I hadn't spoken to her, instead I just sat in front of her door waiting for a slight creak in the floorboards on her end but nothing.
Only the shuffles of her linen as she changed position, listening closely to her I can hear her sobs why would you leave, she would repeat for hours "no change" I whisper as Damon hands me a glass and I sip out of it. Damon sits next to me, he had felt Stefan's death more than anyone well we thought so, for days. Y/n had seemed fine for the first few weeks, we had kept a close eye on her but a month had passed and she disappeared to her room and she's been there ever since. "I just never understood" Damon mumbles to me "I always said, why could I take it and y/n can't?" he said looking over to her door "and then it made me realise, y/n, was the only thing Stefan had loved" he voice trailed off "and now he was gone" I finish his sentence off and he nods. "all the time he spent with her, all the memories were something she couldn't replace" I sigh my tight on the glass getting tighter with the thought of it. Damon had always thought of y/n differently when she was with Stefan. She would hate her guts, despise all the memories she was able to make with him but then deep down he couldn't hate her because she was the root of his brother's happiness. That's what made Damon feel differently about y/n, she was the only other person worthy of her brother's love, he challenged her for the love of Stefan and in the end she won. Maybe he was lucky, he didn't have to feel what she was currently feeling. Alone, Distraught, maybe even Suicidal, he didn't have to feel all those things because before Stefan's death he had closure, she only had a voicemail. Damon and I sat in silence, there weren't many words to say especially when all the words we needed weren't coming to mind. She shuffled in her bed, then she stood up and walked towards her bathroom to run the water. Despite her burden state she was still hygienic, a great quality of hers to say the least. "you hear that?" he asks and I nod, how could I not? I had been paying attention to her everyday, waiting for her to not miss him, waiting and waiting, yet as the days went on she seemed to miss him even more. "yeah" I whisper drinking the rest of the liquid in my cup, Damon eyeing me as I drink it all. Her footsteps move after a while, moving towards the door slumping down on the floor. "i know you're there" she whispers "and i know you can hear me" she continues, Damon looks at the door standing up to grab the door handle. "don't... grab it." she says her movements had become quiet, her leg shook anxiously as her hand tapped on the wooden floor "y/n you have to eat something" Damon says softly "i've been eating, just not when people are around." she says reassuringly. Damon smiled, I didn't. When we aren't around? What does that even mean? The missing vampires, the missing teenagers all found in the woods. It must be her. "atleast she's eating" Damon says giving me a judgemental look, he could tell what I was thinking, every inch of my thoughts, he knew. Y/n then stood up the door creaking open the reveal her, the puffy red eyes and the wet straight hair. She looked miserable yet so clean and before Damon could push the door open she closes it again. The first time we had seen her, she looked like a tidy wreck... somehow. "now you know its not a voice recording you can go" she said, her voice low and quiet "no" Damon says preparing to say a whole script from a show "damon, it's fine" I grab his arm. Seeing her, gave me a big wave of relief, atleast she wasn't harming herself, she was alive and still healthy looking may I add. That's all I needed to know. Damon nods approvingly then he walks away, I turn around to look at the door once more. It creaks open once more, her head poking out "do you think Stefan would want me to be stuck in this room, all the time, crying?" she asked quietly. "no of course not" I smile sweetly to her, Y/n and I got along sometimes, she was like my best friend but at the same time an enemy. We always had it out for each other, but I'd always love her. "So then why did he leave?" she asks "why can you take it, and I can't" she
continues. Tears begin to flow from her face and she slams the door shut wiping her tears. "y/n..." I mumble standing up against the door "I don't know what it's like, to feel loved by one person, then that person be taken away when you need him most." I pause my fingers tracing a pattern on her door. "but I know that he would want you to move on, maybe not too fast maybe just to wake up every morning with a smile, not to stay up all night and day with a frown." I whisper, she had stopped moving "don't act like you are me, elena, you can't fathom what i've had to go through" she says opening the door. "he haunts me, his memory remains in this very room." She swings the door open to reveal the room "and he won't leave, i don't want him to leave so he won't leave. In fact, he's over there." She points to an empty space in the room. "Then he disappears but the moment I touch that whiskey he wants to come back" she continues "he's here and then he's gone, but i know he's really gone so who is there in the room with me." she throws her arms up. "who is it, elena?" she breaks down and I hug her, she had lost it, she had lost him. Even though I tried to comfort her, he would be the greatest comfort to her, dead or alive. "if he's dead, who is it? haunting me, torturing me with these memories." she cried into my shoulder. "I can't, I can't do this anymore."
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natasha-in-space · 9 months
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Hey so i too read your yooseven hc post but I wonder how would seven show his care towards yoosung cuz in that post i mainly see yoosung is like mainly the who is the "giver". And im not saying its bad (please dont take my words negatively) because i can also see seven himself feeling like yoosung is the one who "does more" than him in the relationship and perhaps may feel insecure about it from time to time because he never really had someone go this far for him, its not something he is used to.
And at the same time, while seven for most of his life have been the "caregiver" mainly because he is aware that he is the stronger twin and the one who could do something (so its more out of necessity) yoosung on the other hand has the innate need to be needed and be the "bigger" person even tho unlike seven he never had to feel the compulsion to be the said "bigger" person out of necessity because he has always been the youngest both in rfa and his family but he wants to be someone his loved ones can rely on because thats what makes him feel personally fulfilled, thats his love language. I hope im making sense
So i can see yoosung struggling in that aspect in the relationship with basically anyone he is been with including seven so I also wonder how it would be like in their relationship with seven as a dynamic
Hmm, yes, yes, I can totally see what you're talking about, anon! Relationships are messy, romantic or platonic, so it's only a given for both of them having to face a few difficulties, these ones included. Now, this is only my personal interpretation based on how I portray these characters, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt!
All I can say is that it's a process. A messy one. It all depends on the context. Do they confess their feelings to each other before taking care of Mint Eye? After? Does Yoosung have to deal with Saeyoung's avoidance like his mc's do during his route? Or do they have no time for that? Small details like these do matter in the long run. There are many, many ways you can write them getting together, and that's what makes it fun to play around with in the first place.
When it comes to the already established relationship... I believe they'll make it work. Not without a couple of mishaps, of course. Yoosung, in comparison to Saeyoung, is someone who is very open to communication, and he has no problem with openly talking about his feelings and asking Saeyoung to do the same. Saeyoung, on the other hand, will have some struggles with that aspect. It'll take him some time to move on from his previous ways of dealing with any difficulties, however big or small. This might lead to some conflicts between the two.
It's always hard to see your loved one pretending like everything's alright or outright denying that there's a problem when you know they don't have to do it alone. Saeyoung does this from the place of love, he really does. He doesn't want to burden anyone with his struggles and he'd much rather use this anxious energy to make his loved ones happy instead of making them needlessly worry. It's not healthy, but it's the only way he knows how to deal with his issues. For Yoosung, this might come across as Saeyoung not trusting him to understand what he's going through, and that stings. It's like Saeyoung thinks he's not strong enough to handle it. Yoosung has a... personal grudge against anyone keeping secrets from him. For a good reason. So, yes, this can become a major problem for them.
But, that doesn't mean they can't make it work. They care about one another. Saeyoung is not smothering Yoosung with gifts or putting up a lighthearted facade in front of him out of annoyance. He's doing it because he genuinely believes that's the right thing to do. I truly think Yoosung can figure it out. He's a deeply empathetic person at heart. He might get frustrated at times and he might need some time to get his thoughts in order, but he knows Saeyoung cares for him. And he knows when he's having a hard time. The tricky part is figuring out how to have this important talk.
It's really about balance. No relationship is perfect, just like none of us are perfect. Neither Yoosung nor Saeyoung had a serious romantic relationship before, so it's going to be very clumsy at times, but that's okay. At the end of the day, Saeyoung would never want to hurt the ones he loves most. He is willing to take notice when his actions start having a negative effect on Yoosung, and he is more than willing to apologize. As for Yoosung, he wants to know the real Saeyoung, more than anything. He might get a bit heated and pushy at times, but he will learn how to be more mature.
As for the way they show affection to one another... again, it's about communication. Saeyoung is the type of person who will show his love through his actions, while Yoosung is more on a verbal side. I truly think they know each other well enough where these differences won't be a problem. Saeyoung doesn't mind getting all mushy and romantic at times to see Yoosung blush and giggle. Meanwhile, Yoosung knows Saeyoung's gifts are so much more than just physical objects.
I guess you could say... they are learning together?
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