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sugar-petals · 3 years

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♡ physical affection; levi

↳ NOTE. characterizing boyfriend levi, my passion project lmao! with some sexy moments included 👀

WORDS. ⇢ 7k

tags / warnings. ⚠️ smut, fluff, soft sub!levi x female reader, hurt/comfort hc, angst, shower sex, blowjobs + handjobs + boobjobs (yep. spoiling the captain), face-sitting, protected sex, soap kink, season 3-4 setting, no manga spoilers

Ready for a surprise? It’s not really about what kind of skinship he’s extremely selective about and what not. This is only something people would perceive about him at first glance. Instead, it comes down to how emotionally sheltered he feels. Because of his experiences, that predicates everything else. Which is why Levi’s sexuality is as complex as it is.

But also, in its sudden perfect expression once a person gives him a different perspective: That’s the time when he is touchier. The more in private, the better. The lights down low, with only a candle or two shining from another room. Broad daylight brings the harsh truths and the shaking ground. Nighttime is when Levi feels more intimate and open to caress, down his back and arms, the shoulders, the side of his neck. Done with extreme gentleness, and all of your deep respect.

If you offer him an environment of trust, Levi is open to almost anything and would even magically doze off in your arms for a little while. Breathing softly, resting for the first time in weeks, the brows becoming less tense the deeper he sleeps. You asking if you can stroke his hair (carefully, not messing it up or anything) is something he can’t say no to. The closet romantic in him will fulfill you any reasonable wish as soon as you’d ask anyway.

We know how receptive the captain is to a request, and how much there can be a soft spot for somebody in his heart. If you’re forward enough to just ask, Levi sets himself that goal and opens up. He is diligent with it just as you’d expect. That especially includes the things he says are „absolute horseshit nonsense“ and „disgusting, useless activities“ when reacting to newly formed couples kissing in the survey corps at the other end of the room. Is he a hypocrite and a hater? Actually— not at all.

Levi is a raised rather than born skeptic. Between courage and care, he is always gonna be torn. Both didn’t work in his favor at some point. But at the end of the day, he fears recklessness more than being cautious. Looking at these couples, he knows that they could lose each other the very next day. Or hell, the next hour. Not everybody has 200 titan kills.

Not everybody is a physically indestructible Ackerman destined and designed to escape death and outlive others whether they want it or not. And showing themselves this vulnerable out in the open is even more dangerous considering all the political intrigues, chaos, attacks, and espionage going on.

When he’s scoffing at skinship in the survey corps, it’s not his intent to ruin the couples and their little happiness in the present moment (nothing he sees as more tragically precious), or say only he can have a relationship because he’s strong enough to make it survive. If anything, Levi is the prime example of how all his connections were doomed exactly because of his status pulling in all the danger. He very well and painfully knows.

What I mean is: He sees the brutality of consequences that can create more misery than if two people would just go about their business. Levi already dreads that the same might happen to him. But after all, the behavior of others is easier to rectify than his own undeniable feelings for you. Which he cannot control in any way, which is why he reacts to others instead. Looking at other people holding hands, he’s also afraid how dabbling in love is a distraction from threats that can even backfire on uninvolved others if someone is suddenly in harm’s way.

Levi does associate physical touch with something that takes an otherwise observing mind off when it shouldn’t be. To him, it creates something so valuable that can become an unintended burden through all kinds of circumstances, he’s seen it all, it’s terrible he had to. And the reason why he has such a torn relationship with it. You really have to know your stuff to build a resilient little bubble where Levi is not constantly hypervigilant and either past- or future-focused.

Which is pretty damn hardwired into him. It’s almost impossible to bring on that kind of atmosphere spontaneously. It has to be ritualized. His intelligence comes with the downside of overthinking and having problems with spontaneous romance, it’s good to direct his thought into something that’s always done in a specific, structured way. You sit down with tea, put the candles on, Levi finishes cleaning his weapons, makes everything combat-ready and usable in seconds, and you carefully lay down on his impeccably made bed together.

Which he never uses, Levi sleeps in chairs. Or on the ground, so he can feel any titan steps in the distance with his whole body, using the cleanest possible mat or towel as a mattress and nothing else. The bed he basically just makes to have it neat, and for you, and to have a spot to lay together.

But yeah. He will never remove his harness. Not even when you’re sleeping with each other. He’s not once gonna risk having to put it on in a hurry. The only time you will be skin to skin with him is for not even five minutes under the shower. It’s when his cleanliness beats his anxiety around being always ready, which is why that’s a time to fully cherish.

And then, he really has no qualms about you wrapping your hands around his soap-covered torso in the shower anyway. It’s the only time his inner default germaphobe is not vehemently screaming inside his already heavy heart. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, this is about his demons only, confronted with the immense relief you give him. If the latter wins over his mind’s struggle, Levi might draw out the shower time sometimes.

The other voice that tells him ‚don’t make it end so soon’ is now finally convincing him. He will dial down the water stream so he can hear what’s going on outside better to compensate, to know if there’s any ruckus or approaching hazards. Levi has instructed a fast runner among the cadets to bang on the front door under any critical circumstances immediately in the first place.

Levi says he wants to save water, too. He won’t admit it, but he also turns the showerhead to a medium pressure to hear your calm, almost-quiet moans — the barracks have terribly thin walls — better when you’re sucking him off. Slowly, smoothly, not too much spit. Folded towel under your knees because Levi insists, and he is right. The showers in the survey corps have uncomfortable floor tiles.

He makes sure you won’t get soap in your mouth as well, I don’t have to tell you that he is very circumspect. Levi isn’t usually feeling overly heated in moments like this, but he gets hard and releases fast. You swear his cum tastes like afternoon tea with milk but you won’t tell him that. And who doesn’t like tea and Levi’s homemade milk, no complaints alright.

What’s still a shame is that Levi, always being in such a constant hurry and alertness, puts too much stress on his body for him to become horny all the way. In fact, he often forgets it. He feels numb, and can’t fully take in the sensations. Levi has not been able to feel a lot of genuine pleasure in his life.

A racing mind is an absolute sex killer, and his adrenaline spikes are so high in combat that most normal things don’t do anything for him. Which is why he brews his tea extra strong. But seriously: It’s a concerning thing. And it tells you to take your time. With his whole body, doing the things he loves the most. And what else could that be? It’s straightforward: Keepin’ it clean.

You make sure that Levi feels extra comfortable by thoroughly massaging his loins and thighs with a sponge during foreplay. Yes, you’re gently working him up. All in circles and light brushing motions. Lots of soap. Suave and bubbly, like silk on his skin. It’s handmade, with oat milk, lavender, and honey. For your honey. You regularly gift a new one to him to try out scents and have supply. You can guess how much Levi appreciates it, to the moon and back in fact. The present box is neatly stored on his office table where he can always see it.

Sending out its balmy fragrance throughout the day, making the room smell amazingly aromatic to him. His nose will never grow tired or accustomed to it. Levi puts the soapbox in a drawer within literal split seconds when someone who isn’t you enters the room. „Tsk, announce yourself when you knock…“ That could even be the newest recruit who doesn’t know anything at all about the place and people. But this is just a you and him thing.

Levi doesn’t want nosy questions from the squad even though nobody would probably even notice the soap laying there in its case, much less ask him about it or the fresh scent in the air because duh, it’s Levi’s office. But it feels absolutely personal for him — so he reacts sensitively about it. This man would probably protect your lavender soap with his blades if he had to.

The captain is very secretive about your relationship in general. Who on earth would go as far as buy him a new scented bar of joy bi-weekly? At this point, he would crawl on hot coals, needles, lava, ice shards, desert sand, and a mile-long straight of legos (laid out by a maniacally laughing Zeke personally) for you.

Although you wouldn’t allow any of it. Nothing should ever hurt those kitty paws, I mean captain hands and captain feet. You’d put Zeke on blast on your own, luring him with a banana to confuse his senses and then, whack, homerun the monkey into the ocean with Levi’s bristle broom. Problem solved. Anyway.

Levi wouldn’t hurt himself willingly that way either, the ice shards don’t stand a chance. He has sworn to protect his own life out of self-respect, to honor those passed by living on bravely toward the goal they worked for and being the one always coming home to you. You can rely on him.

So enough about gleaming hot coals and Zeke’s evil legos, back to the point — you already get what I mean. Levi might seem totally grumpy on the outside, but for sure is a devoted man, a caliber as always. He takes all of your presents to heart and is unbelieving as to why he’d be deserving of so much. You prove a point using the gifts as regularly as possible on his body. Where he can feel every bit of your fondness of him. And remember it with muscle memory. Oh shit, this soap does smell so good. As anything on him, who are we kidding.

Dousing Levi with all your attention is the best thing ever. He feels great relaxing with you, and his face softens up. He’s looking at you with a tiny smile in response to you whispering sweet things to him, all while you’re using the sponge on his legs, the chest, and ever-tense back that can definitely use some alleviation. „Thank you for cleaning me“ has got to be the best thing ever to hear from Levi Ackerman. It means the entire world to him. Captain, your mommy kink is showing. His arousal increasing is a natural side effect in no time.

Recently, you’ve been slipping his cock between your breasts as well, and it’s been slowing him down a lot after an eventful mission. While at the same time making him more in the moment, he really enjoys you gradually lathering him up like that. The feeling of skin on skin is amazing. It might be something that… often crosses his mind when he trains during the day, but he can blend it out for the important things. Until you do it all over again, and he ruminates about how much you turn him on until the sun rises.

You also never do a blowjob hands-free. Why would you, anyway? His body is amazingly buff and compact, you want to hold onto those gorgeous lil’ hips and his own hands that need a fair share of holding after carrying the world. You feel him twitching on your tongue when you run either hand over his ass and abs, making sure to trace across all his most erogenous spots there. What’s more: Levi feels really protected and soothed when he feels your palms on him under the streaming water, he can’t explain it.

That's why you like doing shower handjobs just as much. I don’t have to tell you that Levi really delights in them as well and his poker face regularly cracks a bit. His eyes fixate on you, you can tell the connection and involvement. He thinks your fingertips are heavenly, a welcome change to his rugged days.

He loves how softly they tease and stimulate him with the smallest movements and subtle presses. Yes, Levi doesn’t like rough action, those are vulnerable moments. He has enough brutality elsewhere, violently jerking him off and insulting him would be entirely inappropriate and even scare him.

He’d probably brush your wrists off right away, it’d be so uncomfortable in the silence of the evening. A tender chain of kisses on the nose tip, chin, collar bone, and especially forehead gets him going a lot more. The more chaste and doting the kiss, the more he melts on the inside.

His anxiety baseline goes down, and he feels like he can let you in. However you guide him and however you choose to indulge him with your lips, Levi is on board, quietly enjoying. Since it’s something that he’s still feeling so new to, leaving you the active role comes naturally.

Stroking him with a deep pace, carefully brushing your lips against his to give him goosebumps — Levi definitely grows into that. In those moments, he really feels taken care of, in safe hands, hands that will stay with him. He’s gonna be surprised just how good something like this feels many times. And be overwhelmed by pleasure to the point where it almost frightens him, he didn’t have that a lot until now.

The satisfaction of a spotless table simply does not compare. Just so you know: He will either be dead silent or mumble under his breath nonstop. That he is okay with you touching him below the belt and even take him in your mouth tells you how much Levi trusts you, how much he knows you love him, and how meticulously he’s already scrubbed and shaved himself beforehand. Yes, the sheer preparation. He puts a lot of work into his body. He couldn’t stand you becoming dirty.

That’s also why the shower is the place oral goes down. And even there, he uses like ten cleaning products to double rinse the stall and himself before and after. Mind you. He sees you eating healthy, brushing your teeth well. Your lips are very beautiful and a masterpiece of nature to him. So it’s not you who he thinks is dirty. Levi is pretty damn paranoid about his own skin and hygiene. If only he would think about himself the way he thinks of your body.

He feels like he has to earn it, be acceptable, and prepare himself endlessly to enjoy touch. Even then, he thinks he must be ugly and revolting. You have to respect him fussing about it rather than forcing him to cut down on his routines. You don’t criticize his perfectionism and see the motivation behind it. So instead, you reassure Levi your own way.

The more he sees you having fun and enjoying his body, the more accepted, confident, and clean he feels. Most people would like to see their partner play up the enthusiasm obviously (unless you have a ‚hiding his amazement’ emo boy kink, which is exactly why you like Levi don’t cha), but it’s particularly meaningful to Levi. Guess why he looks up to Armin’s mentality, and Hange is one of the few people who truly vibe with Levi.

She’s easily amused, dedicated, swooning, excited, and constantly eager. Levi does appreciate a bit of zeal in someone. If you’re a little ardent about touching him, it’ll give his esteem a boost he’s long needed, oh god. Nobody has the guts to praise this guy like that, even if he’s so extremely good-looking. Don’t let him off the hook there. Give him feedback, you’ll be surprised how much it resonates.

It’s already apparent to yourself how keen you are being touchy with him, hell, you’re so in love. Still, it’s a good idea to give him an idea how stoked you are. He doesn’t like it fast and brutally raw without a second thought, but passionate is a whole other debate. A simple „Levi, stay like this, let me do it“ or „Levi, you smell so good“ works wonders. Say what you think and his ease will set in. And I don’t have to tell you that you won’t look like sex is a chore anyway. With Levi, that’s an honor and a pleasure.

That he puts his faith in you and gives you his time is already a massive deal and goes against everything we know of him, what he’s used to, and how his avoidant personality works, being so ridden with losses. And it’s all because of how much you desire and approach him. That’s what it comes down to.

Even if he’d suffer decades from yearning, he’d not go out of his way to kickstart something, never ever. He’d feel like he’d cause you so much trouble. You wanting him so badly and treating his body like a treasure on the other hand changes his mind.

It proves him wrong all the way. There is still time to enjoy love, the chance is now. Anything else would plague Levi with solitude and self-pity all over again. And the feeling of missing you around in his rooms. Two teacups on the table until he grows old and grey are his ideal of a good life, after all. He will open himself to your emotional and physical presence, realizing how touch-starved he is, and how much it improves his life to have someone to kiss and lay down next to at night.

The even breath at the back of his neck gives him a sense of finally someone sticking around with him side by side, even if he’s gone during the day. It feels good and right to be wanted by you, and nuzzling his face into your cotton dress. Your commitment gives him the little smiles and the silver lining he’s been searching for. He can’t label that feeling, but it’s joy of life and humankind, more than just a willingness for it. He would stay forever pained and bitter if he wouldn’t invite it in now, and you won’t waste that chance with being silent.

You’re attracted to everything about him, tell him, make him aware. The voice, the hair, the mannerisms, his height, his abilities, his mind, his care for others, the posture, how soft his cheeks are, the list is endless. Levi won’t miss how much he’s your type at some point. Which gives him a lot of ease, comfort. You show him that his inferiority complex was an entire smokescreen in his mind.

He fucking deserves to be called handsome. And by the way — you can lust over him as much as you want when he’s made that time window for your couple stuff. It’s good if you make it as obvious as possible for him. Which is hard to hide anyway. You’ve been masturbating over Levi just sitting there sternly writing something. And he’s like why, and you’re like, it’s you! Look at you!

Levi does want you to touch his skin all over but it’s always sore. And he remains insecure on many days. So he only has particular comfortable spots in the first place. Since hardly anybody dares to touch him, and even if he pats someone’s shoulder nobody would ever be courageous enough to reciprocate, you would feel a bit like a lab scientist. Silently theorizing over him at first even if you really don’t have to. Other people say they’d rather run towards a titan than expose themselves to Levi’s moods, swords, and barking tone after trying to caress him in any way.

News flash, Levi has had such terrible moods since forever because there’s no affection coming to him from anywhere just because people decided he might not need it. And no, he won’t yell at you for touching. He finds it very sweet of you instead. Touching Levi always creates an occasion that will float around in his head for the entire day, that’s guaranteed. He sees how someone goes out of their way and cares for his well-being. He might not like it like standing in the middle of the whole corps, but anywhere else is fair game, at home anyway.

The pressure of dealing with threats he can manage to a degree, and he has lord how many coping strategies. The lack of love he cannot. Big difference that everybody seems to confuse. On top of how he has to be unrelenting in his position because battlefield and the Yeagers being a pain. Most people — except maybe Armin — see that as a closedness to touching altogether.

The whole world seemingly can't intuit Levi’s craving of gentleness behind the arguably pretty convincing armor, but still. It seems like only a few souls ever think about the Levi that sits down on his bed in the evening completely depleted. You have to make it clear to yourself and him that it’s obviously a one-dimensional way of looking at Levi Ackerman and not good for him.

Which has covertly shaped how he interacts with others in return like a vicious spiral, which is why he blames solely himself for his depravation. And, how severe and untouchable the circumstances made his character. Yes, Levi despises himself for being inaccessible and unable to change it on top, added to how it happened to him over the years.

Which he had pretty much zero influence on being basically at the gunpoint of life. It’s what you hate seeing the most and comfort him about with brewing tea. It definitely comes back tenfold, Levi won’t take it for granted when you brush out his hair and speak soothingly to him in the evening. „I don’t care, those are all reasons why you’re the apple of my eye“ seems to be what makes Levi’s heart a little mushy in particular.

He is very preoccupied with blame at the start of your relationship. Levi is torn apart by daily guilt and a constantly looming perception of failure to show an opening to his heart. He also crumbles under how the majority of people don’t take him seriously, overreact, or fear he snaps back into soldier mode — he doesn’t — when he does show affection.

That you gaze behind his reputation and touch him without prejudice is the most important thing to him. You can ignore his mad and gloomy expression, Paradis has carved it into his face for half an eternity (the other half is for you and him when this is over). It doesn’t mean he’s angry on the inside about you. The causes for his madness are way elsewhere, knowing his early story it goes without saying. What made Levi callous and broken-hearted are things very opposite to you.

Those who only see and enjoy his fighting personality probably want him as their poster boy, people who are reflected enough to bother with the idea of a private, cuddling Levi are the only truly caring ones. Because private Levi needs that physical and emotional connection the most. Patting his cadets on their heads is only a little, albeit meaningful moment. The teacup is still half-empty regardless if you wanna think of it in those terms.

Because he can only do so much in terms of initiative — which already shocks people to the point of paralysis, which ruins the moment since he assumes it’s not appreciated then — and it’s only one-sided. Giving isn’t fully making him happy even if it’s his only option given how most people perceive him.

The teacup only fills to the brim if Levi can let go for like half an hour getting some good ole kitty on your lap treatment. He silently lays there and enjoys your hand rubbing at the back of his neck. He looks genuinely peaceful that way. His hand palms gently at your thigh and knee, and rests there all tranquil while he ruminates about his day and how lucky he is to have you.

The whole ‚theorzing rather than going for it‘ thing stems from you listening to those people a bit too much at the beginning. Instead of asking Levi directly about touch, and to be fair: Not a single human being has done that yet, you try to figure him out at a distance. Which is also a good thing though.

You learn about many Levi habits others would overlook, misinterpret, or don’t think have any meaning. The more you learn about him, the more understanding you become, the more protective you will be, the less he will avoid intimacy. Because Levi really doesn’t want to shy away, but often his body has too much memory in it to be instantly receptive. So it rather starts with the mind, then.

The irony is. Levi rejecting bonds with others as not to have them weigh heavy on his mind when fighting will only make it worse. You make a statement to him that if he fully immerses himself in what you have, he can fight better and actually be without those godforsaken regrets he’s always talking about. That’s why when you’re having sex, you make him look in your eyes and kiss their lids, and wrap your legs around him very firmly because Levi has to know he’s deeply yours.

Hugs, the same thing. You squeeze the last curse out of him every time and tell him to hold you tight as well. You do have to tell him twice. Just because Levi is the strongest man in history, doesn’t mean he embraces very roughly. In fact, Levi is not used to this at all. Even more irony. Paradis’ ever-swearing, most badass titan killer with the physical excellence of a hundred acrobats can’t execute the simple act of putting his arms around you in a normal, casual way.

The why is the harder thing to talk about. Last time he got proper, truly loving hugs was way over 20 years ago. From Kuchel, during a time where he was too young to remember these things long-term. Let that sink in. It confuses him when he does it and even more so when others do. Kissing Historia’s hand even as a light official gesture was already completely unusual for him and a first time.

Levi doesn’t go beyond what he sees others doing in that regard. No extra miles, just imitating. Now think of him with something as big a deal as embracing his lover for minutes. He lets his arms just hang there and you gotta make him learn how to intertwine fingers or how to press his palms on your back. You’re the one holding him tight there, while Levi’s mind and stare go blank, he’s even more speechless and perplexed after confronting his uncle back then.

I’m not kidding. You have to ask Levi to be forthcoming with those things as well, it simply does not occur to him, and he’s unsure about everything there is to it. What a loveless world this guy is in. If it already frustrates you to see him struggle, imagine how deprived he must be. One of his inner blocks is, Levi has major jealousy of guys who are what he thinks a better hugging height. It’s obviously the other way around to anybody who’d be in love with Levi.

Of course he has the best hugging height by far. What’s not to like? He’s ideal. But in his perspective, imagine all these people above him wrapping around each other in moments of enthusiasm, shoulder-level on shoulder-level, or only with slight differences. And when it comes to him, it feels awkward because they feel strange bending down only for him and Armin.

And that’s probably the issue. Because it’s much better not to bend and try and intertwine, but just have Levi bury his face into your winter coat without a hassle. You don’t have to be perfectly chest to chest to make it work. Besides… romantic hugs are always a bit different. And, you invite Levi to do exactly that with you. Since Levi’s pet peeve is politeness, you’ll also have to show him the difference between mere courtesy and love, he hasn’t fully learned it either.

But just so you know. Levi is not a naive baby or raging bull in a china shop once he has given his love to someone. He observes well, adapts well. When it’s heartfelt, when it’s the right moment, it comes out almost by surprise, he’s feeling it and he will respond to you. With serenity and intent.

If there’s someone who can be unpretentious with physicality, that’s him. He just has to transfer that to romantic gestures and Levi will be the perfect lover after some time. He’ll end up like, „Eh, so what. We do this hugging thing!“ — Hilarious. Levi, knowing his battle tactics, does have a sort of innate courage to approach bodies: This time, it’s about someone he wants to give pleasure and gratitude to, though. Which will feel very different.

And you’re a lady he’s all whipped for, that changes everything. He might sort of try to lean at the wall next to you, to murmur about you kissing him after eating cake so he’s full of crumbs „and now I have to dust it all off again, hmph“, but he is not prepared for another kiss and you tickling him pinned against the wall (he’s not ticklish, but you still love it, and Levi has a thing for you being all over him despite his stoic face).

So yeah, Levi will be super grumpy and do the „Oi oi!“ thing, but also turn around so you won’t see the blush. Man, is he embarrassed. He will try to waddle away awkwardly to do paperwork, but no chance if you tug him back by the sleeve, dust off his shirt from crumbs, and squeeze his cheeks into a perfect Levi snoot. I’m telling you, he has a nice pouty face.

He might assume that you’re out of your mind because nobody has done that with him yet, but once you tell him that you just wanna look at him because every day might be the last, he sees the point of your antics. Merely saying you kiss him just because won’t make sense to the captain, it’s gotta have a purpose for the future.

So, you will tell him to always remember what your soothing lips do on him before he draws the blade tomorrow, and that he has plenty of filthy crumbs to come home to. „I think that’s right by what we’ve seen today“ is what he’ll admit, and carries you off to the bed to get grinding because all that stuff made him kinda turned on. Or rather, you grind, Levi on the other hand gets flustered. He complains about you being a tease at length since he’s having a huge she-pinned-me-to-the-wall boner.

You sit on his face to take it even further and as his favorite treat, end of discussion, your goddess is here mister. Geez, you’ll make him a hot mess. That dick won’t go soft anytime soon. You’ll talk to him about when his face is already ruined with cake crumbs, he has nothing to lose, gotta clean up anyway. The grumbling noise from below tells you that the argument is a good one. For good measure, you palm at his trousers to see his legs react and his voice suddenly hitch. Ah, it’s a wonderful day.

Levi knows a thing or two about holding his breath correctly, but what he likes the most is that he feels perfectly sandwiched between thigh Rose and thigh Maria. Yeah, he does consider them his personal comfort walls and hopes they’ll always be there. Congruently, Levi wraps his arms around them, in fact it’s locking rather than wrapping, and you’re like I see wow he’s serious.

On goes his tongue lapping away between your labia pretty much incessantly. The arousal is so intense, you have to breathe in yourself. Oh shit, Levi is gonna try to finish you off, shots fired. Not fast, but insisting. He does not bother with you panting pretty damn hard whatsoever. He’s calling people like that, but Levi might be the real brat all along.

Fair enough, he currently doesn’t hear anything, which he also loves the idea of. All day, people everywhere are talking nonsense, and now he gets to enjoy perfect silence. His ears are small, they’re easy to cover with thighs. He just goes on and on and gets you past lord how many brinks with a heated buildup.

There are a lot of evil things Mister Zeke has said and committed, but by far the most offending thing he has yet insinuated is that Levi is not popular with the ladies. Blasphemy, treason, outrage, éclat, trickery, criminal offense, international slander, the most grueling case of fake news since the horse left the building, and no, Jean is not meant. With those oral skills, any lady interested in him would get a permanently bleeding nose and something else permanently wet as you can personally attest to.

If Paradis would even remotely know what he can do in bed (and they would if Connie told them, he lives next door), even more people would run down his house than they already do to get a piece of him. Jesus Christ, the Ackerstamina. But I mean. People are probably suspecting it.

How can you not move like a god in bed if you can bend yourself into any Pythagorean shape mid-air. Him being a fighter also gives him experience with managing energy when you have sex, I’m not kidding. Levi can even handle you thrusting right back on his tongue, and even your jokes about how he’s getting the cream to his tea now.

Levi is already kind of dripping in juice. His fingers are sweaty, this time it’s something on his face and hands he prefers though. He won’t wipe it off just yet. So you take on the task to put a condom on him — kind of expensive, mysteriously imported, gotta make every one count my friend — and have Levi take you from behind to soil the bedsheets completely at this point.

Levi lets all the leaking happen, of course he notices, and yet he’s too focused on you gripping his cock hard all the way. So much for walls. Levi has to surrender to the thought of you squeezing him in any way you fancy at this point. That doesn’t just include the face, that much he learned. His cock is gonna fall off, you tighten up so much and make him squirm, Levi’s all blissed out.

He can’t handle your ass either. He just stares like the Founding Titan invented a brand new method to hypnotize the Ackermans or something. Although. Why’d you need to come up with something, though? People they love completely enthrall them already.

If we know something by now, it's that every Ackerman gets completely fucked in the head out of the blue and sent to another dimension when they’re with the love of their life, no hypnotizing device needed. Levi is clasping his teeth for his dear life back there. People asking him if he’s gone mad he’d answer ‚maybe‘, but if you asked him if this made him lose it he would admit it.

Since he doesn’t know what to do with his hands again, you ask him to place them at your waist. „Properly, now slide in, Levi.“ — He takes his time for the first few thrusts, grunts, but gets the hang of it, in fact he’s a pro in the making. All that vertical maneuvering can turn into horizontal maneuvering very quickly. Levi feels so strange and so good at the same time, it’s overwhelming. How can something he thought would be so dirty be this amazing?

And since this position allows him to penetrate you even deeper, Levi gets the full experience of being inside of you times two. The wet noise already turns him on, his body feels so warmed up, and he feels really shocked he’s doing this. Although his face won’t show, it’ll be concentrated as before. On the inside, Levi is losing it.

He can’t get enough of your body and how you tell him what to do, Levi will be driving it home in no time. You’re gonna have your jaw dropped by how lusty he can get yourself, but also love how he’s really breaking a sweat just because of your hard grip. Who would have thought. 14-meter class titans got nothing on you. Levi’s entire neck and chest is glazed over. You call him out on it, all you’re gonna get is a little ‚tch, that’s your fault, woman‘. I mean of course it is. He’s literally at your mercy. I told you he’s hilarious.

Little did you know that Levi will straight-up ignore his sweatiness and just continue, one heartbeat at a time, to really fill you out and make you feel good. Can you imagine. Levi dedicating like 20 minutes to make sweet love to you doggystyle.

He has a good feeling for keeping you just on the verge of cumming. He even reaches around to press two fingers into your clit after five minutes of figuring out his angles. You didn’t expect this at all. It’s as if Levi can read your mind going „but his hands are gonna get really messy, why?“ — he just goes on rubbing and says, deadpan: „Miss, do I look like I care.“

Some dirty things in the world are just there to annoy him. They’re not existing to make his life easier. And toilet humor-related things: We know Levi’s stance on that. Wet pussy on the other hand: Surprise. He thinks of it very differently. Levi is pretty caught off guard by the fact that you loving and adoring him is the reason you’re leaking so much.

It sinks in (um, literally) that you’re all drippy because you really want him inside. Not to mention that he constantly realizes just how attracted to him you are. Your desire for him, that’s Ackerman kryptonite. Levi doesn’t miss your eyes, nope. That motherfucker is a damn good face reader.

And— How warmed up your body feels in his hands, how you’re breathing. How you’re telling him exactly how to tilt to hit the good spots. How you’re sucking in air when he does just that. How you sound, grip the pillow, the sheets. Your goosebumps all over your legs. How your lips part. How you wait for every thrust. The way you tell him how good it is. Your pulse. Your own sweaty back, letting his hands on your waist slip and slide a little with the rhythm.

How he’s struggling not to moan his soul out and chokes back. How you’re softly moving to glide off, he’s gonna lose his mind. How much you’re enjoying him and how cute you tell him he is. Whatever you’d ask of him, he’s so ready to fulfill it. You having the absolute hots for Levi is probably gonna preoccupy him for the whole night while you’re sleeping and he sits in the chair.

He’s been shooting grumpy cat level eye daggers with extra Ackerpoison at the corps couples for walking around showing any signs of this. Making all those lovey-dovey faces or going to the back of the barn together. Levi has chased them with his favored broom to whoop-diddly-doop those horndog soldiers back on track, swirling his weapon of choice around to send a sweeping cloud of dust after them.

Whereas now… he has to deal with the fact that he really loves all that horny stuff. Cognitive dissonance 101 is striking him out of nowhere. I mean he’d not fuck in the barn, that one is truly disgustingly shittily bastardly filthy or however he’d word it, but you get the gist. He caught feelings and caught pleasure — and that’s such a good thing.

His problem is, Levi wouldn’t know how to fawn right back at you. Except saying „good job“ like he’d praise a cadet, but he decides that’s not something to say during sex. He’s very right about that indeed. So instead: He will always reply to you accordingly and with Levi-typical honesty.

If you say you love how he kisses your neck from behind, he will tell you he’s enjoying it as well because damn he loves that spot indeed (titans can tell you a story about it… Levi has such a neck fixation, that fucker). And: Letting actions speak the loudest with him. He’s a practical guy. Levi’s hands can to the most complicated reverse grips and all that crazy human Beyblade shit. Getting you off at his fingertips is gonna be his easiest exercise ever once he gets into it.

He doesn’t even do it to show off at this point. Levi is just that kind of a sex machine and eager to please, not to mention god, is he obedient and a giver in disguise. If Levi were offered the most luxurious, expensive tea available versus your breasts to suck on for a week given he’s free of titan duty… that cup is gonna turn cold. He loves the skinship and he loves giving you a fuckton of orgasms, as many as you like and as many he has time for.

Self-explanatory, this is something he will not feel one bit of regret about. Hours touching you is the farthest from wasting time to Levi. The less he holds back with his love, the more secure things become. He doesn’t feel the misery he thought he’d run into, nor does it feel like a reckless act that’s only something feeble.

The new soap every other week on his table alone reminds him you’re here to stay and like his every quirk, and make this a private thing rather than something to parade around. You never lied saying „Levi, you’re mine.“ He does wrap his head around the fact that all of this is happening with time.

Levi finds your relationship meaningful because it gives him feelings and exactly that emotional harbor he never had before, and he gifts you the reverence of your lifetime since Levi doesn’t half-ass anything. You reassured and guided him so much, he looks up to that, it breaks down his prejudice against loving more and more. That’s how you’ll feel intimate in all kinds of ways for very intense hours he can spare to make the most out of it.

From the light touch at his arm to making out until the candles burn down. And if you tell Levi to sell the deal and dedicate his heart, how can he not take that as a serious order. He has to be guarded to put his guard down, and that’s what you can offer him, and he will create something lasting out of it. Promise is promise to him, we all know.

RELATED: sub!levi hc (tea shop au) | life after war (levi’s happy end)

multifandom mlist | levi writings on ao3

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lilly-onthevalley · 2 years

Note

What have you been enjoying lately ?

Hi lovely 💚

I'm glad you asked, like I've stated before my academics are my passion and current preoccupation, I've really been enjoying expanding my knowledge on different topics and seeing the seeds of my hard work bear fruit.

I recently received some awards but I honestly think I could get more, I'm never satisfied. I'm looking forward to a bright new year full of even more achievement

Onto the question, what have I been enjoying lately?

Judaism

As some of you know I've been studying religion since I was a child, I've been studying Judaism for almost 3 years now and my interest has only increased as the time went by. I'm almost done with studying most of the concepts and I'm hoping to learn some Yiddish or Hebrew by the end of next year.

I can't describe the feeling I get as I study Judaism. It's such a beautiful religion, full of rich culture, I can't get enough of it. I hope to visit a synagogue one day. I spend most of my time reading texts on Jewish history and culture, I always aim to truely immerse myself into my studies.

I would advise everyone to study religions, I feel it's one of the best ways to show respect to people, to go the extra mile and understand the core principles which govern their world view.

History

One of my best subjects. Just like Judaism I find history extremely interesting and try my best to immerse myself into it. I have a hoard of books waiting for me in my library, with information dating from maybe the 1500s to the late 1900s.

I try my best to understand the feelings and circumstances of the people who were alive before me. History in a way provides a way for me to live many lives, learn things that took someone their whole existence to realise and expand my understanding of humanity. It truely is the essence of present day existence.

I've also been getting into watching old films and listening to old music to further understand the past and genuinely just enjoy the creations of humanity.

I read the lyrics to the music, I research why they sang and created the song, I look through the movie scripts, I see where the actors and actresses in the film's are today, this leads me to my next pleasurable hobby-

English literature

I have decided that if I'm going to truely understand the past I need to know how to deeply appreciate and thoroughly understand the literature and stories from the past.

The start with literature was pretty rocky if I'm being completely honest but I've come to be good at it.

Literature made me less rigid and stern. For me to properly understand a text I needed to open myself up to emotion, understanding and care. My problem when I first started learning literature was that I approached it with an almost mathematical mindset, which was completely wrong. I did not truely understand art nor did I understand concepts like hedonism and philosophies that didn't revolve around nihilism. It's been a truely transformative journey for me.

The literature books in my library are my favourite, the reason being that they are old. I thrift for poetry books that have been lost and unappreciated during the whole revolution of technology. The reason why I thrift for them is because I have found that most poetry books from the past were gifts. I get overjoyed when I see the cursive writing at the front of the book saying something like " to my dear love, Diana " and I look more into the book and I get to learn that Diana enjoyed humourous poetry and I get to laugh at her silly annotations.

My oldest book is almost 200 years old, it was for or from a woman named Diana who indeed looked for humour and entertainment from poetry.

German

I've been going through languages for some time now. I find mandarin extremely challenging but one language that has always flowed smoothly for me is German.

I actually got some text books for it recently. I enjoy attempting to pronounce the words and learning the way sentences work in German. I remember struggling to understand the pronunciation of the word "schön" which means beautiful. I always wondered as a kid what these (ö, ü, ë, etc) letters were for.

Learning a language is always eye opening. I recommend it.

I also like how German ties to Yiddish, which I also plan on going through.

Besides these I've been playing video games recently to de-stress

Here's a mood board for the post as well as how I've been feeling

That's all for now

💚

#self care #leveled up mindset #levelup #leveling up #moodboard #self impowerment #self improvement #ask #anon #academia #dark academia

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bukojuiice · 3 years

Text

the wedding booth — eren jaeger

ೃ pairing: (eren jaeger x fem! reader)

ೃ after being unwillingly dragged to plan and create a wedding booth for your first university festival, eren accompanies you to a bridal boutique. there, he contemplates about the future and all of the cheesy romantic stuff he wants to do with you.

ೃ genre and warnings: college au, lots and lots of fluff!

ೃ my nav → my aot masterlist

ೃ 1k words

My Big Fat Greek Wedding, My Best Friend's Wedding, The Wedding Planner, Wedding Crashers... hell, even Mamma Mia.

If having to be forced to watch these romantic comedies about weddings doesn't give you the sudden urge to get hitched and run away to some tropical island, then you don't know what will.

For your very first uni fair at Shigashina University, your friends had proposed a Marriage booth. To be more specific, three of your friends did. Jean, Sasha, and Connie are the masterminds behind this stupid idea and it's all because of three things:

1. Jean is pining over Mikasa so so bad. So many years have passed and yet he still hasn't found a way to confess. And so, due to his pompous ass binge-watching stupid rom-coms recently, he thinks that if "fake dating" can bring two people together, then having a fake wedding with his unrequited crush of 12 years could finally make her fall for him too. He wants the booth to be as iconic as a wedding straight out of Las Vegas. Problem is, he's never been to Las Vegas, and his terribly unrealistic basis for wanting it to be as iconic as a "Las Vegas Wedding" is that one scene from The Hangover and that episode from Friends.

He was delusional and yet, he wanted to push through with this proposal no matter what. Nothing was going to stop him... not unless it was one of the three seniors whom you would be proposing this project to in the first place.

2. Sasha's goals are much normal. A bit odd, but still normal and not as desperate as Jean's. All she wants is to get Ymir, the captain of the school's soccer team to confess to Historia, the freshman Bio-Chemistry student who works part-time as a library assistant (and whom everyone secretly fawns over for. she's just that damn cute.) However, the real reason as to why she helped [rp[pse this stupid marriage booth to get them to finally confess to each other is anyone's guess.

3. Connie thinks he's gonna get clout from this. Rise up the university hierarchy perhaps? He's treating the entire festival like it's high school all over again. He prays that the marriage booth will become the hottest thing in the festival, then he'll instantly become that cool and bad-ass freshie whom everyone wants to be friends with. Either way, if the booth is going to be a success or not, you know for a fact he's never going to be a part of the "cool kids" (good lord, can you believe people still use that term in college?) and he's gonna be stuck with you and your other friends for the rest of the years to come.

It didn't take long before they finally finished their elaborate PowerPoint Presentation (despite Connie insisting that Powerpoint is boring) that they were going to pitch to three of the principal members of the student council. Namely, Erwin Smith, Levi Ackerman, and Hange Zoe.

It was gonna be an automatic no for Levi, obviously. Nothing could ever get past that man. But if they can somehow convince Erwin and most especially Hange to get on board with their stupid scheme, then the booth was good to go.

Now, here you are, in a bridal boutique. Purchasing some simple wedding dresses that will serve as your rent-a-dress service for the Marriage booth.

It wasn't originally a part of the plan. Not at all.

However, Hange would only approve of the project IF the wedding booth was going to be made into something more elaborate and memorable. They didn't want something as simple as printing out fake marriage contracts, cheap tulle fabric wedding veils, fake plastic bouquets, and wedding pictures that came out of a polaroid camera.

Oh no no no. They wanted it to be extravagant. The cream of the crop. The absolute bomb. The best booth at the festival.

Hange saw potential in the idea and with an approved budget by the student council, you could make anyone's wedding dreams come true.

Fast forward to a week before the event, you are currently on a shopping spree with Armin, Mikasa, and your boyfriend, Eren (because Sasha insisted he had the right proportions for the rental groom outfits. She totally did not ask him to come along so that he can see you try on wedding gowns.) to buy supplies, props, decorations, and everything else needed.

"(Y/N), we'll meet you and Eren at the bridal boutique, okay?" Armin proclaims, looking at the time on his wristwatch and struggling to balance the shopping bags on his other hand. Mikasa notices how much he's been struggling and offers to hold the bags for him.

"Sure! Don't forget about the list that Jean sent!" You shout back, turning to Eren as his fingers interlace with yours, making your merry way to the boutique whilst Armin and Mikasa go off the other direction.

"Don't get too excited." You joke, nudging Eren on the arm. "I'll just be trying on these dresses for the booth."

There's a particular glimmer in Eren's emerald eyes, chuckling at your quip. "Sheesh. Did you really have to remind me? Of course I know that. Besides, we're too young to even think about marriage right now. What's important is that I'm spending the best years of my life with you."

"Eren Grisha Jaeger, it is too damn early for you to make me a blushing pile of mess with your flirty comebacks." You deadpan, the heat rising up your cheeks as you try to hide your embarrassment from him.

The both of you laugh it off, shuffling into the store. The chiming bells of the shop door echo around the area as you look in awe at the luxurious dresses occupying every available space. The wafting smell of a vanilla pinecone scent and the soft sound of a sewing machine doing its work. There was a homey and rustic feel to this boutique that made you feel like you were sent back in time.

From great flouncy pieces adorned in layers of lace that rolled like ocean waves to more humble designs, albeit of the finest cloth.

This plethora of finery- reminds you strongly of the many genteel ladies depicted in those books and historic romances you used to read and watch. Like that of Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility.

Having the opportunity to enter a boutique such as this was a dream.

"Welcome! May I help you find anything?" A seamstress appears from the register. She looks at you from head to toe, as if trying to guess your measurements.

"W-we're looking for wedding dresses. Anything within the 200 to 300 dollar range? We don't need anything extra fancy, though! We'll just be needing them-"

Her eyes shift from you to Eren like she's suddenly a love coach, sizing the two of you up. "Yes, yes, young love! How sweet!" She chirps, breathing out a dreamy sigh. "Of course! For couples on a tight budget, we have-"

"We're looking for wedding dresses that can be used as costumes! Not too short and not too long either. W-we're not getting married or anything." You dismiss the seamstress with a wave of your hand. "I'm sorry if you thought of it that way..."

Although her shoulders visibly drop, the saleswoman still manages to smile. "Oh! I would like to apologize for assuming anything too!"

"Actually, mam, we do have plans sometime in the future." Eren grins cheekily, pulling you close to him. "Not today, of course, but we'll make sure to drop by in a few years!"

The saleslady's eyes lit up at Eren's vow. "Over here are some of our best-selling pieces! Ones that will certainly attract the eye of any groom!" She beckons you over to some mannequins lined up in the middle of the store, your gaze is drawn to the myriad of dresses on display as you walk throughout the space.

You turn back to Eren, studying him closely as he walks a few paces behind you, you thoughtfully wonder if the dresses you would pick out would match his taste.

She leads you to the back of the store to show the other garments and dresses embroidered with simplicity and yet elegance. You then pick two gowns up from their respective racks, satisfied with your purchase and making a beeline to the register to pay. However, the seamstress stops you from your tracks.

"How about this one, dear?"

You turn your attention to her, doe-eyed and curious as to what she was going to show you next.

"It is indeed a wedding dress, although not what you had asked for, the handsome young man did say something about your marriage plans. Perhaps this might help you visualize it? Give you an idea for the future, hm?" She hums wistfully, drawing your attention to the mannequin she placed in front of you. "It would be a shame if you left the boutique without trying anything on."

"(Y/N)?" You hear Eren's husky voice call out for you from the front of the store, "Armin just texted me. They can't find a specific prop in the crafts store so we might have to wait a bit longer for them."

"Okay! We can spare more time in the boutique, anyways." You answer back, before turning your attention to the seamstress once more.

"Alright. I think I'll try it on then."

"Trying it on" turned out to be more than you had imagined. You thought you could just slip inside the dress and show it off. But nope. You needed a few adjustments to dress, adornments in your hair, and had to wear a wedding veil.

It was almost as if you were actually preparing to be wed.

"Good sir, your lovely missus is ready!" Yup, even the words of the seamstress made you feel like you were living in the 17th century right now. Did she really have to use such fancy words?

"Please, watch your step." The seamstress takes your hand and leads you out of the dressing room and right towards—

Eren who had been waiting in the shop proper.

"Doesn't she look beautiful?" She giggles, glancing at Eren for a response. "Well, I'll leave the two of you here first and bring the dresses you've chosen to the cash register first." In a wink, she's gone and had disappeared into the back almost before the words left her mouth.

The unfamiliar yet elegant garb makes you feel shy and the fact that Eren was gaping at you did not help at all. He was absolutely entranced by your beauty.

You unconsciously lower your head, tucking a strand of hair beneath your ear, unable to bear the thought.

"God, you're not just beautiful. Y-you look breathtaking."

He says in a barely audible whisper, pulling you to him once more.

Placing his hands on your waist, Eren plants a soft, tender kiss on your chest, the low-cut dress affording it easily. In a heartbeat, you feel your cheeks grow hot.

"Heh. Guess I got you again." He grins wolfishly, still admiring your beauty and tracing circles on the back of your hand. "I-I don't deserve you... I really don't."

"If you didn't deserve me, would you be here right now?" You say jokingly, raising your eyebrow.

"I mean it." He buries his face on the hem of your dress, his voice is muffled and soothing. "I can't believe you chose to love me." He looks up at you, eyes practically welling up with tears. "God, I honestly can't believe I'm crying right now, but, yeah... I am. That's how much I love you and how much I want to marry you right now."

You giggle at the expression your boyfriend has shown before you, stroking his hair and burying your fingers into his long brunette locks. "I love you too. But... why so sudden? You already told the saleswoman that we'll be back in a few years. She'd be surprised to hear you change your mind so easily."

"Well, if that's the case, then I better tell Jean to have us first on the list of the wedding booth then. We worked our asses off for this, might as well be the first to be blessed with the luck of that stupid booth."

You giggle once more as he continues to hold you so close. You feel his breath and his heartbeat. Each exhale and pulse brings you to the realization that Eren is the one. The man you want to be with for the rest of your life. The man who will help you through all your faults and mistakes, your burdens and troubles, through all the ups and downs... he will be there.

Just as you will be for him.

Guess those stupid movies centered around weddings weren’t so bad after all

.taglist: @crapimahuman

#snk x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #aot #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #eren fluff #eren x y/n

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enbyprentiss · 3 years

Note

PLEASE sub spence in a skirt wrapped in intricate rope and with a vibe up his ass I NEED THIS PLEASE

i got you, bb;)

Genre: Smut, obv

Pairing: Sub!Spencer x Fem!Reader

Warnings: anal play, handjob, shibari/rope play, praise kink(with some sly degradation), mommy kink (because would it really be my fic if there wasn’t a mommy kink), hair pulling, implied aftercare, I think that’s it but lmk if I missed anything!

Y/N really put her boyfriend to the test this week. And yes, he is a genius, so if it were any other kind of test he would pass with flying colors anyway. But when it came to things like these, he typically cracked under pressure. Everywhere they went, she made sure to assert her dominance over him in every minuscule way possible. Usually, it was just something as simple as carrying his bag or some extra books for him. Then, it was seizing any opportunity she had to physically tower over him, gripping and pulling his hips closer to hers anytime she walked past. And when she was feeling extra devilish, Y/N would steal kisses and lingering touches only to leave her poor little Spencer high and dry.

He knew the rules she had set up.

No touching or touching yourself, this whole week. If you can handle a week of little to no touching and absolutely no cumming, then you’ll be rewarded.

There were several times throughout the week where he considered going behind her back and break the rules. But he really wanted to be her good boy. He did love all of his ‘punishments’ but he knew that if he couldn’t handle this simple test, the punishment would be 10x worse. And Y/N fully expected Spencer to cave and just accept that he’s not a good boy. Sure, she was excited to deliver punishment, but she was even more excited to give her boy the reward he rightfully earned.

The case they were on had postponed Spencer's treat. So naturally, he was huffy and puffy the whole time. Containing it fairly well in front of the team and local officers, but falling apart the second he got into the hotel room with Y/N. Sitting in front of her, laying his head in her lap, whining and begging for just something small now. And after being reminded that she could take away his reward at any time, he decided to suck it up the best he could.

Spencer was practically jumping up and down watching Y/N unlock the door to their shared apartment. As soon as she'd turned the key, he burst through the door putting his bags down and unlacing his Converse at a record speed. Y/N couldn't help but watch in amusement as she discarded all of her extra things. When she saw the dopey look on Spencer's face she couldn't help but melt into his desires. She moved closer to him, lacing her fingers through some of his light brown locks, turning her head to the left, bumping their noses together briefly before melding their lips together. She lightly brushed her tongue against his lower lip, making him groan slightly into the kiss. She earned a long whine from him when she pulled away.

"Excited, baby?", she tucked a stray curl behind his ear as he nodded, "Use your words, honey."

"Yes, mommy."

"Good. Now, go into our room and get ready for me."

He scurried down the hall to their bedroom. Spencer stripped of all of his work attire, swapping it for just a lavender pleated skirt and mismatched thigh-highs. He sat on his knees, getting antsier and antsier as more time passed. After what felt like an eternity, Y/N came in beaming at him with a pleased smile.

"You look so pretty, baby. Such a sweet boy."

"Mommy?"

"Hm?"

"M-matching?", he stuttered out with a heavily present blush on his face.

"You want us to be matching?"

"Ye-yes, please."

She made it a point to reassure him, seeing that he was already fairly fuzzy before retrieving the same skirt and stockings that he had on. When Y/N returned, Spencer's eyes lit up with the extra goodies she had brought along with her. Choosing to save that sight for later, she sat next to him on the bed, connecting their lips again and muttering through kisses.

"Do you know why you're being rewarded?"

"Because--I-I didn't touch myself or cum all week."

"That's right. And actually, you went 10 whole days with no touching or cumming. You're such a good boy.", she raked her nails down his pale chest lightly, watching the way his cock twitched under his skirt from the praise, "Oh, you like that, don't you? Like hearing what a perfect boy you are for me?", she began palming him over the fabric.

"Mhmf! Yes, mommy. Wanna be so good for you--be your best boy!", he yelped as she flipped his skirt up, the cool air nipping at his skin."

"You are my best boy. So, I need you to get on your hands and knees ok?", he muttered a small 'Ok.' and did as he was told. Y/N coated her fingers in lube and rubbed them together attempting to warm it up before applying a generous amount to Spencer's entrance and the toy. She pressed the toy up against him, teasing him with it and then turning on the vibrations, earning a breathy moan. Remembering that this was indeed a reward, she gave up the teasing and pushed the toy fully into him as he moaned out shamelessly. She left the vibrations on the lowest setting, helping him sit fully on his knees, "Mommy's going to tie you up now, ok? Do you know your safe word?"

"Encyclopedia."

"Good.", she took one strand of the light pink rope, finding the ends first. She began tying intricate knots to create a double-column tie from ankle to thigh and then repeated the same actions on his other leg, creating a sort of 'frog tie' that left his legs spread just far enough, "Is that ok? Not too tight?"

"No, it's good, mommy.", as he finished his sentence, Y/N turned to the settings of the toy up higher, making his face contort and his exhales shaky.

"Does that feel good, baby?", she asked while planting soft kisses on his neck.

"Y-yes! Feels so good--ah!"

Y/N's hand traveled to flip the fabric of the skirt up and stroke his cock while she sucked bruises all the way down to his collar bone, "Made me so proud this week. I have such a good little slut.", she pumped her hand up and down faster as he struggled to buck his hips upward.

"Ah-ah-ah! Mommy! C-can I cum, please?!"

"Go ahead, baby. You can cum whenever you want."

"Oh! Thank you, mommy!"

Y/N spread around the white thick ropes that soiled his skirt, coating her fingers in it and putting them in Spencer's mouth as she upped the vibrations. His tummy tensed as he reached out for anywhere he could possibly touch Y/N while whining louder around her fingers from the overstimulation.

"Shh, it's alright. Do you want to stop?", she removed her fingers and smiled warmly at him.

"Not yet, please."

"Ok. Whatever you want. This is for you, for making me so proud of you, remember?"

He nodded, "W-will you--um pull on my hair, please?", his eyes scrunched and his teeth clamped back down onto his bottom lip as soon as the words escaped.

"Of course, sweet boy.", she grabbed a fistful of curls, pulling his head back slightly and leaving more searing bruises along his jaw and base of his throat. The combination of the two new feelings was enough to push him over the edge again, as he let out little moans and whimpers, his legs shaking slightly. Y/N, knowing her boy as well as she did, knew that that was all he could handle for now and turned the toy off. And now, she loosely combed through his luscious locks. Whispering little praises to him, "Did so well for me, darling. So proud of my boy. I'm going to untie you now, ok?"

Y/N's eyebrows furrowed in worry at all the red burn-like marks that were left on his skin where the rope had been. On instinct, she grabbed a bottle of lotion and massaged it into his skin gently to help circulation, "Are you alright, baby?"

"Yes, mommy. Feels good.", he tacked the last part on much quieter.

"Such a dirty boy.", she cupped his face in her hands, "And in more way than one. How 'bout a shower?"

"Bath?"

"Even better.", she got up to start the tub.

"Y/N?"

"What is it?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Spence."

—

taglist: @slut-for-mothman

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ot3 · 3 years

Note

Sorry to bother - feel free to ignore. I’m trying to write an orv fic bc. I like them. And I’m having trouble understanding why with the regression depression it’s the happy memories that get yjh the most. Best I can figure it’s bc he can use the bad memories to propel him forward - like he’s doing this to avenge them. But the good memories force him to realize these people are gone and he’ll never see them again. Do you have any thoughts? Thanks!

i think that's definitely more or less accurate! i think the 'those people are gone and he'll never see them again' bit you've pointed out is the critical piece here. ill stick my further thoughts below the cut. this is really long because i've pulled a LOT of long chunks of text from the novel to shore up this point. i just got home from work so my thoughts are gonna be a little bit incoherent here. skip to the end if you're not interested in reading all the segments i pulled from the text. spoilers all the way up through chapter 508

first things first, let's just go back to the novel and look at all the bits where YJH's depression gets brought up

“Maybe Yoo Jonghyuk-nim has already repeated a few lives. You have fought against terrible enemies and struggled against the beings of this world to save people. Enduring alone, lonely memories… We respect your sublime spirit.”

This jerk, such skillful flattery. Yoo Jonghyuk would be moved to tears if he heard. Later when he was depressed, I would have to tell him these words.

“But Yoo Jonghyuk-nim should’ve realized it from your past regressions. Even if you have an outstanding miracle, you alone can’t fight against the disasters that will come.”

Plus, he was right.

- from ch 48

「 Everything is twisted because of this person. 」

「 It is different from what I know in the earlier regressions. The amount of information available is too limited. I can’t save the world like this. 」

What was this?

「 The reason I was hurt by the Salvation Church was because we spent too much time in the last round. It was a mistake to train for 100 years then. My mind was permanently damaged. 」

「 Maybe it was a mistake not to get the Absolute Throne. 」

「 I will start from the beginning again… 」

Dammit, the regressor’s depression had begun. Was it due to the mental attack? I cried out in fear of what he would decide. “I’m hurt you jerk!”

- from ch 140

「 Those people can’t save the world, even with 100 trucks. 」

「 Once again, the answer is regression… 」

“Now now, our Supreme King isn’t in a good mood right now so back off. Do you want to die?” I personally stepped forward to get rid of any causes of depression.

- later on in ch140 as well

This jerk, he was always so impatient. He had been given time to rest but he was still busy thinking. Regardless of his depressed state, Yoo Jonghyuk was Yoo Jonghyuk.

“Before that, let’s take a moment to breath. The view is great.” I said while sitting on the roof railing.

Yoo Jonghyuk asked me, “What are you up to?”

“I’m just looking at the world. Isn’t it beautiful?” The city of Seoul was destroyed by the monsters. I quickly added, “It was originally a beautiful place.”

“I don’t like landscapes.”

“Why?”

“They are things that will disappear someday.”

I thought I had a bit more understanding of the third regression Yoo Jonghyuk after fighting against Shin Yoosung. I wanted to believe he was a person who could love this world without giving up or feeling despair.

I told him, “However, we need to protect these things.”

“Kim Dokja, you don’t know.”

This might be my misunderstanding. Yoo Jonghyuk could give up at any time because he was still in the midst of his regressions.

In the end, Yoo Jonghyuk’s purpose was to prevent the ‘destruction of this world.’ Paradoxically, he could give up on this world at any time. His essence was regression and this fact would never change.

“No, I know,” I replied.

“What?”

“The fact that you can regress at any time means that death is meaningless.”

I looked down at Lee Seolhwa caring for the injured. Lee Seolhwa was feeding her boiled soup to an unknown person. Despite her efforts, there was a high probability that the character would die. Even if they lied now, they would die tomorrow. If they miraculously survived tomorrow, they would die the day after tomorrow.

It was the same in the fourth regression and the fifth regression. There would always be ‘death’ in the world of Yoo Jonghyuk, even after passing the 100th regression.

“If there is no sense of death then the value of life also disappears.”

- ch141

There was the vague belief that he could do better in the next round with more information. It was easy for him to give up on this regression if something went wrong.

This was the precursor symptom of ‘regression depression.’ Some of the contents of Ways of Survival passed through my head.

It was around the 48th regression. Yoo Jonghyuk had consulted with an incarnation of the constellation ‘Discoverer of the Subconscious’ on the ‘regression depression.’ At the time, he seemed to be speaking like I was now.

I continued speaking, “Yes. It might be as you say. If you repeat it 10 or 20 times then it will surely get better. You’ll be exposed to more scenarios and see more of the future. The real problem is when you someday save the world in this manner.”

“What does this mean?”

“At that time, do you really think you saved this world?”

“…”

“Do you think you will be able to keep the same mindset after repeating it 100 or 200 times?”

“I won’t regress that many times.”

I silently stared at Yoo Jonghyuk.

「 …Don’t tell me? 」 Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes slowly widened.

I kept speaking, “Are you having nightmares these days?”

“…”

“You won’t be saved, even if you save the world. The moment you save the world, the worlds you have forsaken will come to you. Despite saving one world, all the other worlds you abandoned will drag you to hell.”

- from further down in ch141

「 Yoo Jonghyuk felt lonely as he saw these watches. They got their time back but he still wasn’t

living in this time. Yoo Jonghyuk suddenly thought. If so, where do I live in those countless hours? 」

It was the monologue of Yoo Jonghyuk, who once saved the Demon World. It was also one of my favourite scenes from Ways of Survival.

I suddenly seemed to understand a bit of his mind. To the regressor Yoo Jonghyuk, the time in these worlds didn’t belong to him. In a life that could go back over and over again, the present time was meaningless.

Once this was over, I would ask Aileen to make me a watch. If he had something like this, he might become more attached to this world. Maybe the regression depression would get better…

- ch 207

A person who regressed more than a thousand times. A spirit that had become insensitive from the hundreds of suicides and tragedies that an individual could suffer. The extremely widespread regression depression…

「 Yoo Jonghyuk of the 1863rd round is the despair of the world itself. 」

- ch 285

Abnormal condition? There was no way. Who was the 1863rd regression Yoo Jonghyuk? This was Yoo Jonghyuk who was the Ruler of the East Hell and killed the Devil of Principles. There was no one among the constellations who could place an abnormal condition on the present Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes were blank.

I felt uncomfortable like something was stuck in my throat. No, there was. There was only one person who could cause an abnormal status in Yoo Jonghyuk.

* The target is suffering from ‘regression depression’ due to an unknown cause.

It was Yoo Jonghyuk himself.

Regression depression. The spirit of the man who had been broken over 1863 lives made the regression depression almost a passive, low level skill. Once he fell into the depression, his consciousness was caught in the weight of his memories and he couldn’t wake up.

[Kill him! He isn’t invincible!]

The ruthless strikes caused Yoo Jonghyuk’s body to bleed little by little. It was strange. Originally, the regression depression shouldn’t occur in this situation. In the 1863rd round, Yoo Jonghyuk had learnt how to manage this disease.

- ch 286

then this REALLY LONG BIT from 287. it has stopped letting me indent for some reason so i guess ill bold this.

I knew how to wake up Yoo Jonghyuk from his regression depression. In other words, it meant I also knew how to sink him deeper into that melancholy.

I saw Yoo Jonghyuk’s fingertips moving and opened my mouth. “Do you remember? The 33rd round. You cleared the 40th scenario and Lee Jihye said this.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes dimmed and his moving fingertips stopped.

「 “It would be nice if Master didn’t have to go to the next round.” 」

“Think about it. You weren’t always unhappy. Right? In all the rounds, there were moments when you were happy.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression was becoming stiffer.

“The 173rd round. You protected Earth for quite some time. You also saw Lee Jihye receiving her high school diploma and Lee Seolhwa smiling at someone’s child.”

「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, are you happy that you’re alive?” 」

Every time I spoke, Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression collapsed. It wasn’t despair that broke down Yoo Jonghyuk.

“The 383rd round. You finally cleared the 75th scenario. Fortunately, nobody died in that round. That was the first time. Then Lee Hyunsung told you.”

「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, I won’t forget today until I die.” 」

The feather-like memories sank into his head.

“Then the 498th round…”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s palms moved to cover his ears. The usual Yoo Jonghyuk wouldn’t have fallen from this much. Now it was different. I held his hands and kept talking. “That happened 10 times.”

A human sank deeper into the water just because of the weight of these feathers.

“Twenty times.”

My breath clogged up and my lungs tightened. I could feel what Yoo Jonghyuk was going through. Only I could feel it. The most primitive darkness at the bottom of one person was swallowing his ego greedily.

“100 times. It repeated over 1,000 times.”

All those words were destroyed. All the happy memories flowed back to a time they could never return to. Through the countless regressions, the meaning of happiness faded. All the values he preserved became pieces of torn paper.

“Yoo Jonghyuk.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s self was sinking into the deep sea. It was to a place that he could never come up from without someone’s help.

“Have you protected all the things you wanted to keep?”

I looked at Yoo Jonghyuk’s miserable face and thought: Don’t worry Yoo Jonghyuk. I’ll do the rest. You stop and rest.

[Your understanding of the character ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ is increasing explosively.]

Yoo Jonghyuk’s empty eyes were showing memories of losing his master. I didn’t use Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint but it wasn’t hard to read.

「 I want to die. 」

「 I want to finish all of this. 」

「 If only I can never wake up. 」

A few drops of rain fell from the sky. It was black rain made from the blood of the demon kings and constellations. Liquid also flowed onto Yoo Jonghyuk’s face. Yoo Jonghyuk’s gaze lowered and finally fell on me.

I was looking at the moment a human’s spirit collapsed. There was a broken voice. Like a creaking machine, Yoo Jonghyuk stammered, “Wh,at… should, I, d…o?”

i think this one is obviously very important.

then, the 'have you protected all you wanted to protect' stuff obviously reaches its culmination in the finale

⸢The regression depression.⸥

That was the only weakness of Yu Jung-Hyeok, who had repeatedly regressed for a very long time.

[In the 173rd turn. You managed to protect Earth for a pretty long time. You got to see Yi Ji-Hye receive her high school diploma, and you even got to see Yi Seol-Hwa smile with another’s child in her arms.]

The light in Yu Jung-Hyeok’s eyes was wavering.

⸢It wasn’t despair that could defeat Yu Jung-Hyeok.⸥

⸢Small feather-like memories settled down inside his head one by one.⸥

The ‘Dokkaebi King’ was using the exact same method I relied on back then.

⸢The breathing got harder, and the lungs were getting tighter.⸥

⸢A man drowning in water would sink even deeper under the surface from the weight of a mere feather.⸥

I couldn’t afford to idly watch on anymore. I shouted at Yu Jung-Hyeok, telling him to wake up, and not to fall for such an illusion.

However, my voice couldn’t reach them as if a non-conductive barrier was set up between us. And the ‘Dokkaebi King’ was smiling away, perhaps to mock this entire story.

[Yu Jung-Hyeok, have you protected all that you wanted to protect?]

Slowly, Yu Jung-Hyeok’s knees sank down.

I roused the Status of Fables. I needed to undo that ⸢Stage Transformation⸥ right now, But, how should I…

Grab.

There was a hand still tightly clutching mine. It was Han Su-Yeong.

“That’s not a battle you can interfere in.”

“But, if he’s left alone….!”

“….Even a star that can’t be seen still emits light. You said that, right?”

….A star that can’t be seen?

Her words made me look back at Yu Jung-Hyeok once more.

His gaze being lowered had come to a stop. Blinding sparks were completely enveloping him.

Tsu-chuchuchuchu….

Something was waking up his fading consciousness.

[Great Fable, ‘Ones that Remember the Apocalypse’, has begun its storytelling!]

That was a Fable I wasn’t aware of.

As the sparks lessened gradually, several silhouettes revealed themselves. Now that I took a closer look, Yu Jung-Hyeok wasn’t alone. No, four others were standing beside him.

A tall man, a young man with blonde hair, a girl with a ponytail, and finally…

[[He couldn’t protect anyone. That’s why he now stands in this place.]]

….An Archangel with blindingly-pure wings.

Astonishment quickly dyed the Dokkaebi King’s expression.

The Fable from the destroyed 999th turn was now burning brightly like the conflagration of end times on the edges of the Archangel’s blade.

[[Because he believes there are still things left to protect.]]

- from ch 508

Now here's a couple of tidbits about depression when it comes up for Other entities:

The fastest thing to get shaved away after becoming a Constellation was their own ‘Fable’. The more a Constellation depleted its story, the weaker its power would get. They would grow bored, disinterested, fall into depression, or lose themselves in tedium.

Constellations would desperately seek out other Fables in order to escape from such a quagmire. In other words, they would search for a new tragedy to escape from this horrible eternal cycle, even if it was only for a brief moment.

- ch 498

⸢[Constellation, ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’s’ ■■ is ‘Something that can’t be found’.]⸥

I had read what his ■■ was from the original novel. His description showed up when he became Yu Jung-Hyeok’s ally for a little while during the 1863rd turn.

⸢The evil dragon suffering from the worst possible depression in this <Star Stream>.⸥

The reason why the ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ believed his age to be 15 was simply that he’d not be able to continue on if he didn’t.

A life stretching for thousands, no, tens of thousands of years, made an originally solitary dragon into such a creature.

In order to stop itself from decaying, he chose not to age. He chose not to lose his curiosity of the world. He chose to torment Incarnations or play bizarre pranks. And for his final prank, he even chose to betray the ‘Absolute Evil’, too. He stood on Yu Jung-Hyeok’s side and while mocking the <Star Stream>, breathed his last.

- ch 503

okay so

i think there are a couple of different ways to look at the regression depression in line with each of orv's 'themes'. of course despair at losing his comrades is the main primary emotion here, but there's subtler stuff going on here too.

for starters, the foundational components of any creature within the star stream is its stories. the more your stories are known and shared the more powerful they are, etc, etc. time and time again their shared stories are the thing to save them and ground them. but as we see with the hellscape of eternity, yjh begins to become isolated from the interpersonal aspect of the story as he loses the people he originally formed these stories with. the stories are how people communicate. as YJH progresses through his regressions he is unable to relate to the 'story' in the way you are supposed to, and this essentially causes a complete ego death. life no longer has any meaning for him, because he is fundamentally incapable of connecting with people. the [impossible communication] of a life and a burden that can't be shared.

then there's the [samsara] aspect - being worn down by the endless repetition of fate. everything is the same, over and over again, and yet we still delve into it hoping to get something new out of it. maybe the story will be different this time. ABFD was able to stave off depression by keeping himself in a state of permanent novelty - there was still something left to discover - but as YJH progresses through the regressions and falls deeper and deeper into repeating the same pattern, the tedium becomes too much. he has nothing new to experience. he has repeated everything this reality has to offer - or so he thinks - and it shows no sign of ever changing. if it's the same every time, why stick around? why not go again? it doesn't matter. none of it matters. you are just part of the wheel.

and if we think of it in terms of [good and evil] we see yjh slowly become something that almost any human being would call a monster. as kdj says in that conversation with anna croft near the end, "can you really call someone a human if you have to look so hard to find their humanity?" as far as it goes. yjh commits some atrocities! Because of said aforementioned removal from reality and ego death, he is able to fully justify any action it takes no matter how horrendous. and yet his noble goal never changes. undeniably, what he is by the end is some sort of monster. but still, of course, just a man. and he knows this. he feels himself slipping a little bit more, every regression. he knows its coming. and he doesn't want it. he wants to maintain his humanity.

but really i think we can almost best think of yjh's regression depression as almost his equivalent to the [fourth wall]. whereas the 4th wall is a unique passive skill that protects kim dokja by preventing him from fully conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality', the regression depression harms yjh by preventing him from conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality'. in a sense, his friends and loved ones have almost become 'characters' to him as well, as he already knows the way this story happens. he is an outsider, observing these beings interact with each other but not quite the same as them. he is an anachronism. this isn't his present. this is a present, one he can take or leave at any time. the thing yjh does in his later regressions - using people as tools - is something kdj does in the beginning of his journey. because, well, it doesnt matter if this isn't the 'real world'! they mirror each other.

that ended up being so much longer than i thought it would im sorry. i hope this was even like 10% helpful.

#orv #orv spoilers #yjh

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ampleappleamble · 3 years

Text

The Elf and the Orlan's Wedding

—

"Hey. You'll marry me, won't you?"

Aloth had spent the last five years of his life honing his skills and reflexes in his mission to hunt down and destroy one of the most dangerous cults on the face of Eora, but somehow he still couldn't help but be utterly bested by just a few little words. Axa had a way of doing that– cutting past all his pretense and politesse, punching through all his meticulously constructed defenses with just a few simple words, striking at the very heart of him. It was part of why he loved her, and no small part, either.

He pulled her closer as he attempted to sit up in her spacious sleeping berth, struggling to scrape enough of his brain back together from the one-two punch of vigorous, passionate lovemaking followed up by that question to formulate an answer for her. But despite his best efforts, he found that the best he could manage was a feeble, "I beg your pardon?"

She laughed and nuzzled her face into his chest, his bare skin warm against her brow. She'd known the question would shock him, but she also knew that no matter how carefully she phrased it, there really was no way to ask a man like Aloth a question like that without shocking him. "Sorry to surprise you. But it's something I've been thinking about for a while now," she continued. "After we've arrived back in the Dyrwood and settled a few matters, gotten Caed Nua's reconstruction properly underway, taken some time to recover from all this– there'd really be nothing stopping us." She snuggled closer. "And I know the challenges we'll be facing in this new, uncertain world would feel a lot less daunting with you by my side. So... why not get married?"

Axa paused, then, tensed up in Aloth's arms. "That is, if you'd like to." She lifted her head to look at him, her violet eyes soft and glittering in the lamplight. "Would you like to?"

He studied her face, rosy and gorgeous and full of hope. Her proposal wasn't entirely unexpected– after all, it was only natural that she should want to take their relationship further, especially after all they'd been through together in the Deadfire– but it was still a bit overwhelming, actually experiencing such a thing himself instead of merely reading about it in a novel or watching strangers act it out in a stageplay. His head was swimming, his heart was hammering in his chest, his stomach was fluttering madly– but all the same, he couldn't help but smile at her.

"Of course. Of course I would," he murmured at last, brushing a lock of hair from her brow. "I can think of no greater pleasure."

The tears finally came, welled in her eyes as she beamed up at him. "Oh, Aloth," she whispered, pressing her face into his shoulder and squeezing him tight. "You have no idea how happy you've just made me."

"How happy I've made you?" He laughed, surprised to find himself blinking away tears as well. "I'm to be the consort of the Lady of Caed Nua! The brave, kind, beautiful heroine who uncovered the cause of the Hollowborn Crisis and saved the Dyrwood, the indomitable spirit who defies death and deities alike– and of all people, you want to be mine, to be my– my–"

My bride. Axa. My bride, my love, my wife. The reality of it suddenly struck him with its full gravitas, and an indescribable emotion washed over him. "I love you, Axa. Truly."

Giggles mingled with her sobs, and she scrubbed at her wet eyes with a fuzzy fist. "And I love you," she replied softly. She looked up at him again, grinning. "You'll plan everything, right? I was never very good at that sort of thing."

Aloth sighed, slumping back down against the pillows as Axa cackled. "I should have known," he groaned, shaking his head good- naturedly at his newly-betrothed.

"Yes, you should have," she agreed, spreading out on top of him, making herself comfortable. "Planning a fancy formal event– such as, say, the wedding of a landed thaynu who is returning triumphantly from a world-shaking, death-defying mission in the Deadfire– plays much more to your strengths than to mine. Of course, I'll help as much as I'm able. How about I find us an officiant?"

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Xoti, then? Or were you thinking of asking Vatnir?"

She paused for a moment, her brow furrowed in consternation. "Gods, are those two the only priests I know?" she muttered, resting her chin again Aloth's sternum, and she sighed. "Typical of me, I suppose, to shun all clergy but the most death-obsessed misfits. Even my resident cleric at Caed Nua was a morose Berathian."

Was. Axa's smile faltered, and she abruptly went quiet, unfixing her gaze, lowering her eyelids.

"Well, given what we know of the gods, is it any surprise our priestly acquaintances gravitate toward the morbid?" Aloth tucked a lock of her burgundy hair behind her ear, let his hand linger on her cheek. He'd noticed the sudden chill in her demeanor– reminded of Caed Nua, no doubt, of her myriad responsibilities back at home, the dead waiting to be buried– and had hoped he could warm her back up a bit, but it appeared that even his wry musings weren't enough to soothe her melancholia.

"We're going to be alright, aren't we?" Axa's voice was soft and serious, and she reflexively curled in on herself, clinging to her lover as she contemplated the future ahead of them. "Kith, I mean."

He wrapped her in his arms, warm and steady, and let out a shaky sigh. "I don't know. With the Wheel destroyed and the cycle of reincarnation stalled indefinitely, we'll certainly have our work cut out for us. But if there's one thing in common between all peoples and cultures on Eora, I would posit that it is our stubbornness." Aloth smiled, ran a hand through her thick, soft hair. "With people like you working to guide and support us, kith may yet learn to band together and channel that indefatigable will of ours into finding an equitable solution for all this mess. In any case, I can't really see us all just... giving up. Especially not after all we've seen, all we've been through."

The two lay together in silence for a while, his hand in her hair, her ear pressed to his heart. It had always fascinated her, how elf hearts beat so much more slowly than orlans'.

"The Elf and the Orlan's Wedding," she murmured.

"I... do hope you're not intending to have me write that on the invitations." He allowed himself a small smile. When she hadn't responded, he was sure he'd failed to cheer her, but maybe he'd conceded too soon?

"It's a children's song," she laughed, propping herself up a bit, "that I was just now reminded of. It's about an elf and an orlan at their wedding, and everyone in attendance is bemoaning the foolishness of such a union. 'She'll outlive you by two centuries, it's a waste of time for you both'... That sort of sentiment."

"Charming," Aloth deadpanned.

"Oh, yes," she chuckled, "very much so. Of course, by the end, the lyrics reveal that the titular elf and orlan are well aware of the vast disparity in their lifespans, but they've decided they love each other too much to let something like that get in the way of enjoying their time together."

He smiled knowingly. "Sounds familiar."

She smiled back. "The moral of the story, of course, is that one cannot waste one's life worrying about what others think, about the 'proper' ways of going about this or that, and that it's better to live in the moment and enjoy what you have while you have it."

"Sounds very familiar," Aloth sighed. "But if kith spend too much energy on enjoying the present, we won't be able to prepare for the troubles of the future until they're upon us."

"Ah, but that's just another reason the title characters chose to marry," Axa grinned. "It's easy to miss the significance when you're a child, but there are a few lines in the song regarding the orlan's horrible estranged family complaining about how the orlan's assets will now be bequeathed to his elf wife upon his death, thus keeping it out of their greedy paws for at least 200 more years, if not forever."

He cocked an eyebrow. "That's not your reason for proposing, is it?"

"No!" She laughed, lightly swatting at his chest with the back of one hand. "Although it'll be damned funny, I have to admit, sticking it to all the little Dyrwoodan lordlings with their eyes on my land who were just planning on waiting for me to die in a few decades." A wicked grin spread across her little face, and Aloth couldn't help but laugh.

"Pray tell, then," he smiled, running a hand up and down her back, ruffling her fur and smoothing it back down, "what exactly is the point you're trying to make by bringing up this song, my dear?"

Axa toyed with a lock of his hair, biting her lip and staring at nothing in particular, before finally admitting: "You know, I'm not sure. I definitely lost the plot somewhere along the line, there. I suppose I was trying to draw some sort of parallel between The Elf and the Orlan's Wedding, and our wedding, and... and the challenges ahead of us all in regards to repairing the cycle of reincarnation... something about planning for the future while still making sure to enjoy the present..." She scoffed at herself, resting her chin on Aloth's breast again. "Maybe I was simply randomly reminded of a silly song from my youth and I'm trying too hard to stretch it to link it to current events. Or I'm just tired and rambling and not making any sense at all."

"No," Aloth assured her, "you definitely had a reason for bringing it up, even if you can't quite articulate why." He stroked the back of her ear, staring pensively at the ceiling. "I think, perhaps, you wanted to reassure yourself that even if some new version of the Wheel ends up never getting built, even if it turns out that the days of kith are truly numbered and our end is inevitable... that doesn't mean you need to mourn every day yet to come as if it's already been lived in vain. As a Chanter, and given the subject we'd been discussing, it's only natural the realization would come to you in the form of a song about marriage."

She snuggled close to him, sighing contentedly. "You see why I want you to plan the wedding?" she murmured. "You make everything make sense."

"I learned it from you, you know," he replied, nuzzling the top of her head. "Funny how that works, isn't it? Like a two-piece puzzle. We complete each other."

"Thought that advice sounded familiar," Axa giggled. "Should listen to myself– and you– more often."

"That's a given." Aloth went to kiss her forehead, and she surprised him yet again by scooting forward and craning her neck to press her lips to his instead.

"What about Engrim?" she whispered sweetly, her smile still brushing his. "He's a priest of Magran. If we kept the booze away from him until after the ceremony–"

"Absolutely not, my love." His breath tickled her nose. "No wedding of mine will utilize a Magranite ceremony, and certainly not one conducted by a lush."

The little woman laughed, pressing her face to his neck. "Come on, I'm running out of priests!"

"You truly can't think of any others?" He kissed her temple, sighing with a mix of contendedness and exasperation at his little bride.

"Well, I do know a certain Glamfellen who's a priest of Wael, but we're not exactly on speaking terms." She tried a wry grin, but it morphed into a grimace halfway through. "Ugh. Not as funny as I thought it'd be. Sorry."

Aloth chuckled. "It's decided, then. We'll have a secular wedding."

"Sounds good to me, actually," Axa replied. "Never had much need of the gods anyway."

—

#pillars of eternity #watcher axa #aloth #short fic #oneshot #that bitch really called me out in the middle of my own story for losing the plot #...it does kinda meander though doesn't it lmao #not sure what i was really going for in the last third there #anyway it's out of my head now and that's what matters #thanks for reading ♡

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dionysusrage · 3 years

Text

Great Minds Think Alike

REUPLOAD BC I STUPIDLY DELETED IT ON ACCIDENT (ending is also different bc i did not save it on my drive... *sobs*

i wanted to try my hand at writing something based on a prompt (courtesy of @btswritingcafe which you can find HERE)! thank you for the valentine’s mix event! it was fun to be a part of it!

anyways, here’s my first one-shot, can’t believe I was able to write more than 200 words… enjoy! share if you enjoyed it and let me know your thots!! :’D *gif is not mine*

prompt: 3. “I can’t accept these. I’m sorry.” // 12. “If you bring me a gigantic teddy bear I think I may fall in love with you.”

genre: fluff, slice of life, humour (?)

pairing: yoongi x reader

theme: established relationship, one-shot

word count: 1.15k

warnings: none? unless you dislike valentine’s day.. valentine’s day is involved

synopsis: Yoongi and you have big brains. And it shows on Valentine’s Day.

a/n: helloooooo, happy belated valentine’s day! how was your valentine’s day? mine was as fun as it can be while working. I made it a bit more fun by stamping hearts on my eyelids lol

IN the quiet bedroom, a smacking sound echoed in the room.

"Aish." You rubbed your cheek. It was too early to be awake on a Saturday night.

Laying there in silence, you finally kicked the blankets off your body. It was freezing, but it helped you roll out of bed.

Today's plan consisted of having brunch and then surprising the body laying next to you. After standing for quite a while, you turned to the bed once again. A fond smile crept on your face. Just seeing Yooongi's figure sleeping with his mouth opened always made you smile.

With a sigh, you quickly headed into the bathroom to change and wash up.

The clattering sound of something falling on the floor shook Yoongi awake.

"Hm?" He opened one eye, waiting for something else to happen. After hearing nothing, Yoongi stretched to his fullest capacity.

A giggle made him look to his right. "You're awake. Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Tsch. No." You smiled at him. Walking towards him, he let out a sharp breath when he felt your lips press against his cheek.

Wiping his cheek clean from the red tint, you ruffled his hair. "I'll be back in an hour, ok? Don't eat anything. I'll bring you back some waffles."

"With a coffee?" He timidly asked.

You grinned. "Duh."

The longest hour of his life, Yoongi continued to lay in bed. He felt like something was off.

Did I forget to submit something?

The feeling continued gnawing at him, causing him to get out of bed. He slowly dragged himself out of the room and into his living room. Passing by Holly, who wagged his tail, he went into the kitchen.

Still feeling tired, he stood analyzing his surroundings. He paused as he heard the familiar jingle of your keys. Looking over his left shoulder, he waited until you popped into his line of vision.

"Hi!" You smiled. "I brought food!"

He softly smiled at you. He went to sit down at the table, staring at you as you set his food down.

"Yes, I'm home now. Ok, so as I was telling you, he was totally checking you out. We have to go back!" Yoongi chewed his food. With sleep in his eyes, he nodded along.

You softly gasped, "They have them in stock again?"

You laughed as he continued chewing, "If you bring me a gigantic teddy bear, I think I may fall in love with you."

Yoongi paused as the word love slipped past your lips. You were unaware of his state, laughing and gossiping with said friend.

Love. Love, Love? At this point, Yoongi stopped chewing, completely forgetting his waffles as he processed what you said.

His eyes grew wide as the realization hit him. It's Valentine's Day. Shoot. Ok, don't panic.

He stood up quickly, causing his chair to scratch against the floor. You looked at him confused, mouthing What?

Yoongi shook his head, almost sprinting into your shared bedroom.

You looked a little confused as you saw him disappear. Even more so, after he reappeared completely changed out of his pajamas.

You lifted your chin towards him, asking quietly what was up.

He pointed to the front door, whispering, "I'll be back."

Leaving without a kiss goodbye, you could only look at his retreating figure in confusion.

Ok?

"Yes, I have his present. It was very hard to hide. I kind of want to go back and buy myself one. It's super soft."

The noisy atmosphere of the store leaked out into the street. Yoongi huffed as he finally got to his destination. Catco.

Someone had to have thrown up red, pink, and white. The store was also filled with people in the same state as him. Panicked and sweaty.

Yoongi walked up and down the aisles looking for the damn thing.

How? Just how hard is it to see that damn bear?

Walking into aisle five, he looked towards his right, not seeing the colossal leg sticking out and causing him to stumble.

"Oof. What the—" Yoongi had his arms in front of him, regaining his balance. "Oh."

He found it, the almost eight-foot bear. Craning his neck up at the stupid smiling bear, he groaned.

"How the hell did I forget to grab a cart?"

Yoongi had taken a while, yet you were still on the phone. Of course, you were; you missed your friend. Thankfully you were because now, Yoongi had to figure out how to sneak in his new eight-foot friend past you.

"Alright, bye, love you." You said your goodbye, stretching as you heard Yoongi huffing into your shared home. "Where'd you go?"

Yoongi froze. "Oh uh, forgot something I needed."

"Well, I'm glad you're back because-" you paused, "I want to give you your Valentine's Day gift."

You squealed gleefully as you ran past the bedroom and into your office.

Yoongi looked confused, relieved, and tired.

Ok, good. I don't have to hide it. Yoongi huffed but quickly furrowed his brows as he heard you struggling.

"Jagi? You ok?" He waited until he heard you again. A soft thud made him walk towards your office.

Before he got within a foot of your office, he froze, "Don't! Stay there."

"Ok?"

You came out with a bright pink gift bag. You shoved the bag into his hands, excited at his reaction. "Gift number one! Open it!"

"Number one? One is enough." He laughed as he dug inside to pull out a box of chocolates. "Thank you, these look good."

You had already expected his underwhelming reaction, but the faint tint on his cheeks more than made up for it.

Yoongi then stopped to look down at you. You raised your eyebrows in question. "C'mere, I got you something too."

"Ooh! What is it?" He laughed as he felt your body shake in excitement.

"It's actually outside. Here." He stopped in front of the door before saying a ta-da!

The giant teddy bear stood before you. He grinned as he turned to look at your reaction. His grin faded into a frown. "Jagi?"

"Hm?"

Yoongi scratched the back of his neck, "Do you? Not like it?"

Your shoulders dropped, and you looked at him with a pout, "I can't accept this. I'm sorry."

He swore he could feel his stomach drop. What? What does she mean she can't accept this?

"Uh? What?" You burst into giggles. Yoongi could only stare in confusion. His eyes set on you while he tried to process what was happening.

You wiped some tears off your eyes, "That sounded bad, but what I meant to say is that I can't accept it because…"

You trailed off as you grabbed his wrist and back towards your office. A confused and offended Yoongi could only drag his feet behind you.

"Look!" You opened the door to come face to face with another eight-foot furry friend. "I got you one too."

“Tsch,” Yoongi clicked, “I guess we’re just big brained.” WIth a roll of your eyes you said, “Great minds think alike, huh?”

“Shut up.”

#cafevalentinesmix #yoongi scenarios #yoongi x reader #yoongi x yn #yoongi imagines #dionysusrage writes

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black-quartz-sphinx-judge-my-vow · 3 years

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Exalted 3e Villain Analysis

When I was first going through the various Adversaries of the Righteous, I skipped right past Adeimantus, because I’m shallow. His art just isn’t evocative. But ho boy! Beneath that pale, bland exterior lurks a villain worthy of an entire campaign. So let’s talk about that.

Adeimantus is the ruler of a utopian City from the Shogunate named Beimeni-Ta. A city which was consumed by the Wyld ages ago. It now creeps into Creation like an infection transforming cities and slums into itself.

What a great freaking idea, wow. The sidewalks the towers, the people all transform into echoes of a golden age lost to time. Can’t you just see the brick back alley suddenly becoming a marvelous marble tunnel? The building torn halfway between one style and material and the next? The crowds of excited peasants waiting for their shacks to complete their transformation into mansions? Now that’s a threat! How do you even deal with something like that? Do you burn down the infected part of your city to keep it from spreading? Do you jail the new citizens to stop the from singing the praises of utopia, and converting more people to their cause? Or do you go after the Raksha that’s behind it all?

What I like most about Adeimantus is that he’s totally on the up and up, at least in my interpretation. He’s not doing this because he wants to eat every baby in Creation. He genuinely wants everyone in the world to live in his perfect city. So much in fact that he has a charm that not only changes the city to match the desires of an individual, but he himself changes to match that desire.

After the players have defeated Adeimantus and sent his city back to the mists: “That’s alright, we’ll start over as many times as you need. This is all for you.”

Which brings another terrifying aspect of Adeimantus into view. When he vanishes, so too does the city, and all of it’s people. Any buildings and individuals changed by Beimeni-Ta get whisked away to the Wyld, even victory can mean that a entire slice of a city is amputated. Spooky.

As far as a combatant, meh. If you’re using Adeimantus to beat people down, you’re doing it wrong. Although he does have a knife that can make you ugly to anyone who can read, which is fun. His main power in combat comes from his ability to summon battle groups of his followers to attack the pcs. Plus ya gotta involve the city itself in any combat you do. Potholes open up beneath your feet, shingles slide off the roofs onto your head, and other such irritants. Maybe give the city it’s own initiative, and stat block, why not?

His real strength comes from his ability to manipulate intimacies. Not only can he instill them in people through their dreams, but he can also make you disregard any that make you oppose him. Very fun, and could be interesting if you have players who are very dedicated to rp. Otherwise think of all the NPCs you can target, and turn against the players. Now that’s high drama. Solars want to live in Utopia too right?

Especially since as I said before Adeimantus is a chill dude. He doesn’t want to resort to violence, he rules a utopia, and wants to share it’s bounty with the world. Of course his Utopia ends up being pure madness when it returns to the Wyld, but no one seems to be dissatisfied.

So I’ve gushed on about this beautiful bald man long enough. What are some ways you can use him in a game?

1. A world saving device was once held in Beimeni-Ta, and it’s needed once more. Do you: look for a city infected by Beimeni-Ta. Crusade into the wild to reclaim the lost city. Or maybe infect a nearby city, long enough for the vaults of Beimeni-Ta to manifest.

2. Beimeni-Ta begins to arise within Great Forks. How does the city of a thousand gods react to such an intrusion? Is the draw of Utopia enough to tempt even a deity? Or do they hold firm as more and more of their followers join the cult of Adeimantus?

3. Every Winter Adeimantus visits a struggling village in the north, and provides them with supplies needed to survive the harsh winter. What scheme is he up to? It’s been generations since he started doing this, and no apparent harm has been done. The villages are convinced he’s a benevolent god of winter, how will they react when the players try to destroy him before he can corrupt their village?

4. Beimeni-Ta is ruled not only by Adeimantus, but also a Senate of Demons. So this Fair Folk, has an alliance with demons, as well as a permanent city in the Wyld. There’s something deeply interesting going on with Adeimantus. In his Stat block it does say the Senators are Raksha too, but I much prefer him being a complete weirdo. But as for plot hooks. A city has already fully fallen to Beineni-Ta. Now there is only one thing left to do. Characters must introduce a bill to the demon senate which will revoke the city’s hold on creation, at least this part of it. Can the pcs, get it through sub-committees, and over come a filibuster lead by a second circle demon?

5. Burns 100 Poets is a monk of the Immaculate order who has thrice vanquished Adeimantus from creation. He carries the weight of the many poets he’s killed to keep Adeimantus from spreading his corruption. He is retired now nearly 200, and works day and night to craft the poems which could have been were it not for his diligence. He may hold valuable information in how to stop Beimeni-Ta from spreading. However this gentle poet of an old man may suggest methods the pcs would consider frightful.

Finally let’s talk about a campaign that has Adeimantus as it’s big bad.

I call this one: Lookshy, Rise of The Shogun.

The basic premise of it being Beimeni-Ta was a city during the Shogunate Era, a pretty important one. Reclaiming it would finally give The 7th Legion reason to accept a new individual as Shogun.

Act 1

The Players, Dragon-Blooded protectors of Lookshy are tasked with looking into strange happenings around the city. The marching band plays a song hundreds of years out of date, a new building appears seemingly out of nowhere. Things escalate when a section of the city’s rampart’s becomes infected with shiny new lightning ballista. Suddenly the General Staff is torn on how to deal with the situation. with some opting to let the infection spread to access Beimeni-Ta’s ancient resources, to others wanting to combat the plague before it’s too late. The group is forced to navigate this tenuous situation, while beating back Adeimantus’ growing cult, and corrupted gentes. Culminating in the final confrontation with Adeimantus, and a member of the general staff he’s corrupted. Adeimantus vanishes with his pawn defeated, and takes however much of Lookshy he’s corrupted away with him, back to the wild. The walls are breached, the city is in ruins, the army is divided, and things are looking dire. Were The Realm not crippled by The Scarlet Empresses’ disappearance, this would be the end.

Act 2

After a brief recovery clarity comes to the surviving populace of Lookshy. The Shogunate Bureaucracy has records detailing this Beimeni-Ta many of the afflicted citizens were rambling about. It was once a seat of power for the Shogunate a place of immense importance, that fell into the Wyld never to be seen again, until now. Most importantly it was the final resting place of The Imperial Seal. The stamp with which The Shogun made words on paper law. With it, a simple document can be stamped and a new Shogun can be appointed, the shogunate will live once more. If only Beimeni-Ta can be dragged back out of The Wyld. If only... we could find it.

No maps of Beimeni-Ti’s location survive, only records of military assignments. Letters for a general to withdraw from the defense of the city, a general by the name of Tepet...

With the only lead they have the players are sent under cover to The Realm to find what they can about Beimeni-Ta from it’s ancient defenders. There’s investigation, spy work, a heist. All of which ends in a social confrontation with Tepet’s ruling Council which presents them with an offer: fulfill their oath to the Shogunate, regain their honor by retaking Beimeni-Ta.

Act 3

The impossible has happened. The players have convinced Lookshy to break with tradition, and march on the Wyld. House Tepet has given their only legion to the cause. The two armies of the Shogunate unite like something unseen in anyone’s time, and march through the river lands towards the end of the world. It’s a long grueling march, through an untold number of kingdoms. The centuries of Lookshy’s political favors, and military threats fray with each border they cross. Threats seeks to divide them with armies and from within. The Lookshy soldiers see their Tepet allies as traitors, and the Tepet aren’t too fond of the scavengerland barbarians either. The players must use their genius to get their army through in one piece. Until they reach, the border marches.

Act 4

From here on it’s all out warfare. The players and their small army must reclaim creation step by step enduring every machination the Wyld can through at them, from raining lava, to forests of grass as tall as a warstrider, and as sharp as a blade. All until they lay siege to Beimeni-Ta. At last the jewel is within their sight. They just have to overcome Beimeni-Ta’s endless militia of maddened citizens, their 100 Demon Senate, and of course Adeimantus fully empowered by the wyld and Beimeni-Ta itself. Who can with but a look, a touch, who’s very presence beckons you to join him in Utopia, in oblivion.

And what are the rewards for such an epic journey? A brand new city to rule over? The title of Shogun, and resurrections of the shogunate? An arsenal of first age weapons from the shogunate’s richest city? Who’s to say what dreams await you in Beimeni-Ta?

Only Adeimantus knows.

Only Adeimantus can show you the way.

#ttrp #ttrpg campaign #exalted rpg #exalted #exalted essence #exalted 3e #campaign ideas #rp #rp ideas #rpg #onyx path #white wolf #lookshy #Adeimantus #adversaries of the righteous #plot hooks

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adonis-koo · 4 years

Text

tease

| 7 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,

Word count: 16k

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Song mood

Tags: Attempted thigh riding, semi dry humping, lots of teasing, JK and MC can’t keep their hands to themselves, daddy kink, mutual masturbation, thigh riding, dirty talk, dom!kook, sub!mc is anyone surprised? Heavy degradation, light spanking, MC has a big praise kink, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, lots of cum, JK is soft with aftercare :(

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.

Weeks had flown by, and before you knew it. You had been working at Cherry Bomb now for a little over two months and thankfully after your last altercation with Jungkook, your relationship with him had taken a turn for the better. Things weren’t perfect by any means and you still argued and bickered a fair bit, but nothing had ever lasted more than a few hours at most.

Performing had also gotten better as your confidence grew, unfortunately God just couldn’t let you have one victory without a major fail in the process. Your first private dance- went horrible.

Even weeks after the event you still cringed at the memory, you had a bad stomach bug at the time but insisted on working that week- to be fair it just ached most the time! You couldn’t even consider yourself sick! ...Unfortunately you had been incredibly nervous that day and the stomach bug you had made it even worse...the early dinner you had that day made its way up during your lap dance for the client….

You cried for over three days after it happened and just the thought made you burst into tears from pure humiliation. Jungkook had started cracking up when the client had went directly to him afterwards, covered in pile and his face twisted into the most vile and pissed expression you had ever seen, the client then proceeded to give him a full, long listed complaint as to why you were a horrible dancer.

He found it hilarious and the client ended up storming the building threatening to sue though it never happened- Jungkook was a laughing mess until he saw you were in tears and had since tried to be sensitive with the topic, though occasionally he still can’t help but let a snicker escape at your misfortune.

You’ve been sparse with your private dancing ever since, still scarred over the experience despite the countless times Jungkook coddled you saying ‘he just had his balls in a knot’ and your dancing was perfectly fine, as he’d also remind you accidents happen all the time.

Regardless you had still been reluctant to take on a ton of private dances still not quite gotten over the fear of it Jungkook had told you it was just bad luck and they’ve all had a few bad experiences with private dances and you shouldn’t let it stop you. But regardless you still had a few reservations.

Sweat had currently beaded down your neck as you finished your routine, laying on the floor as you sighed, pushing the strands of frizzy hair away from your head in frustration, why couldn’t you just get into the feel of the music? This was the fourth time you had tried and you still couldn’t get into the rhythm of it.

It was currently July and you were on break from college which allowed you to dedicate all of your time to Cherry Bomb but even now, you still seemed to struggle.

You thought for sure when you finally got the time off to dedicate yourself you’d become better but you still felt stiff in your movement and fillers had yet to get off your back about it, maybe you could run it again? Maybe then you’d finally channel your inner sexy stripper.

“Babygirl it looked fine,” Jungkook called from his spot, his manspread open and hands resting on his thighs, he had been patient enough to watch each time while giving corrections but now even he sighed not understanding why you were being so critical of yourself when you danced just fine, “Stop pushing yourself so hard, that’s my job.”

Groaning you sat up before scooting to the edge of the stage, letting your feet hang off it’s edge as you frowned, “I’m never gonna improve if I don’t, besides you used to make me go through it all the time.”

Jungkook clacked his tongue at you, not looking particularly sold on your words as you hoped he would, “That was back when your form needed heavy work and you weren’t used to sexualizing choreography.” He stood up as he walked up to the stage, grabbing your waist as he pulled you down before turning his chin down to look at you, “And furthermore I know when you need to be pushed and when you need a break. All you do is push yourself until you can’t go anymore, that’s not healthy baby.”

You were already rolling your eyes as you pushed past him mimicking his words silently with a childish expression, “Healthy my ass you’re the one who smokes half a pack of cigarettes anytime you make less the seven hundred a night!” You knew he had a point but that didn’t change the fact that you also had a point, improvement only came from hard work, that had been hardwired inside you long before you ever started working at Cherry Bomb, it was just who you were.

Jungkook unhinged his jaw in offense as he raised his brows, quickly hightailing you because he was never about to let you run your mouth without a fight of some sort, just as he told you when you first signed the contract, he wasn’t about to deal with a brat, “I could smoke a whole pack if I wanted too but I don’t baby! It’s called self control and that doesn’t have anything to do with my point!”

“Self control!?” You shouted whirling around. Nearly everyone in the room more interested in your bickering as they turned their heads back and forth between you both, “Smoking a half pack instead of a whole isn’t something to be proud of- the fuck!?”

You had only recently found out Jungkook was a stress smoker and had been on his ass ever since about it. Even if he didn’t have an addiction it wasn’t healthy and he could very easily become addicted if he wasn’t careful. You couldn’t help but worry about his health. But in another way you didn’t feel sorry for him given you were lucky if you made 200 in a night, let alone less than 700.

Jungkook’s lips puckered as if he had sucked on something sour and his eyes squinted into an irritable look as he huffed, “Don’t make this about me babydoll, this is about you being a perfectionist, push yourself any harder and you’re bound to pull a muscle- potentially rip one, or end up collapsing on stage from exhaustion and I am not letting that happen. So sit your little ass down and take a break this isn’t up for debate.”

You opened and closed your mouth several times, an indignant expression twisting on your face in offense as he raised his brows, daring you to put up a fight before you ultimately stomped your foot sending him a pouting glare before sitting between Rosé and Jimin.

“He isn’t lying Y/n,” Rosé hummed as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving it a comforting squeeze, “You’ve improved a lot over the past few months, but things take time don’t worry about it. Honestly, if you keep it up you’ll probably get picked for Seasonella.” She sent you a wink making your lips quirk up though you weren’t sure what she meant.

Furrowing your brows despite your smile you tilted your head, “What do you mean?” You had heard the term thrown around a few times in the past but more and more recently the name Seasonella had started popping into filler conversations you had overheard.

Jungkook had a large frown on his face, a harsh line between his brows with an unappreciative glare towards Rosé making you all the more curious from his look, was Seasonella something bad? “Rosé don’t.”

She curved a brow at him as she scoffed, obviously both annoyed at his expression and not feeling threatened as most would in her shoes, if there was one person who never cared about Jungkook’s moodiness or glare’s it would be her, “What, don’t tell me you seriously don’t think they’d pick her.”

You glanced between them both, even more confused than before as you frowned, what did they mean? Why would you be picked, and what for? Was it some sort of competition like SSU?

“Oh I don’t doubt she would be picked but that doesn’t mean she’s actually ready,” Jungkook replied, an odd defensive note in his voice before he turned towards you, his shoulders relaxing a little as he continued, “Beside’s we’re aiming for SSU, right babygirl?”

The Solo Step Up, was a competition held every year to pick a new soloist and was won through crowd favor. It gave everyone a fair chance though you had learned that wasn’t the only way to be moved up. The competition was still well over two months away but that didn’t stop people from already prepping, you included.

Jungkook and you had equally agreed it was an attainable goal, you weren’t necessarily set on winning. As the only person who had ever won in under a year was Jungkook himself which was how he had earned his title as the King. He had pure, raw talent honed with technique from Namjoon, you doubt you could replicate that, let alone in less time than him.

Jungkook had agreed you’d most likely need more time but winning crowd favor, even if it wasn’t enough to win, was still a good plug for yourself and would make chances of winning next year close to unbeatable.

That being said, perhaps that was why you had been pushing yourself so hard. You wanted to come across as desirable as you could and win as much of the crowd over as possible. Chan Hee, had been absolutely dominating the stage and even you couldn’t deny that. She always made things difficult when you got paired in group dances together and often times, you’d make even less money a night because of her.

Not only did she have the body to flaunt but she was inherently sexual, which wasn’t a bad thing, clearly, but she had a much easier time with it than you. Rather then vehemently denying her talent like a lot of other fillers, you had found yourself often studying her, trying to figure out how she did it. But you always ended up coming to a dead end, she was just a natural and would definitely win by a long shot.

“Yeah, but- what’s Seasonella?” Jungkook groaned at your curiosity as you tilted your head once more, glancing around everyone as you shrugged, “Well I’ve just heard a lot of the other fillers talking about it, seems like a big deal.”

Jimin was the one to speak up as a smirk coiled on his face, “Well that’s because it is- for fillers. Seasonella is kind of like a big VIP party one of Cherry Bomb’s biggest clients and sponsors throw in Las Vegas USA every year. Soloist’s are automatically on the ‘list’ of entertainment, so it’s just another job for us. The client and his son come every year though to hand pick some of the fillers they want to work the party as well, outside of SSU it’s another really good way of getting recognized by upper management here and possibly promoted.”

Your lips parted in almost delight at the idea. You weren’t honestly sure why Jungkook thought you couldn’t handle it. You wouldn’t question him though mainly because you were still stuck on private dancing even after two months and you still only made 50 a night any time you danced next to Chan Hee, the reason he didn’t want you to go was obvious. Even if it was a good way to get recognized and despite Rosé’s words. You just didn’t see that happening for you, realistically speaking.

Not only that but you’d agree you didn’t necessarily feel ready for anything big like a VIP party for Cherry Bomb’s biggest clients and sponsors. Talk about pressure to perform well. Jungkook only frowned as he leaned back on his hands, “It’s a good way to get recognized but half the fillers don’t know what they’re signing up for. Baby if I’m being honest, it’s not even your dancing I’m worried about,”

He looked as if he wanted to explain himself briefly, as if not wanting you to assume he doubted your ability though that wasn’t even your problem, “Strippers are bought there and even though it’s technically your choice, you don’t really get a say so. Not to sound like an asshole but…” He glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck as he sighed, eyes looking a little hesitant, “You don’t have the sexual experience or personality to handle being thrown into that your first year.”

You could tell he had no intentions of offending you as you watched the concern wash in his eyes, if anything you could feel your cheeks burning up at his words. Did he...really think you were that inexperienced? Sexually? That wasn’t even his point, but you were stuck on those words in particular.

For the first time, you found yourself not wanting to be seen so childishly. You glanced away from him, struggling to keep your face from showing any emotion as you replied, “No I get it- It’s not like I really wanted to go anyways, I was just curious on what it was.” It was the truth, you had no plans of going against him on that but still...Inexperienced?

For the first time in your life, you found a fire burning inside you wanting to desperately prove him wrong. Maybe that would be your motivation tonight.

Jungkook stayed up by the bar thumbing the ring around the beer he held as he sat on the bar stool, having got off an hour ago, but he couldn’t help himself to stay longer just to watch you dance. Eyes focusing on the performance ahead, you where in the last half of your dance as you turned your back to the audience, pushing down the shorts you had been teasing the crowd with the whole time to reveal the black lace cheeky panties.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight as the whistles rang out in the crowd, money being thrown at you left and right as he shook his head.

If only you could see how much progress you genuinely made compared to your first week and now. He clacked his tongue, the small proud smirk coiling on his face as the bright smile adorned your face as you left the stage, dancing through the audience, nipples perked at the air of the room and your pretty hair messily over your shoulders.

The one thing that had changed the most about your performance, in Jungkook’s eyes, was how much you seemed to enjoy it now, compared to when you first started. And from an outside perspective no matter how sexy a filler was, it just couldn’t compare to that bright smile on your face when you’d slut drop down before sticking your ass out right in front of the clients chair. The money almost hurriedly shoved into the hem of your stockings as you quickly turned to the next chair.

It had took him forever, but Jungkook had finally figured out what your strong suit was when it came to stripping. Everyone had a strong suit needed to be played up. And after last month he realized what yours was.

You probably didn’t even realize it but you loved teasing the audience. Those semi shy smiles but they had a coy cool tone to them compared to normal, the winks you’d throw their way while running your hands over your body. Your whole disposition changed, you had fun on the stage and it showed. That’s when Jungkook started catering choreography more towards your strong suit, making sure your costumes suited your stage personality. And that’s when real progress started being made.

The rest had been history. You were good, you just didn’t see that yourself yet.

Heading to the stage you couldn’t keep the grin off your face as you collected the money, so many ones laid all over the ground and you knew you had done well tonight. There had to be over a hundred at least tonight. Piling them up you pulled them into a messy stack as you pranced to the staff area ready to count your earnings for the night.

You had been looking forward to tonight as it was Jimin’s birthday and he wanted everyone over to celebrate and there was no better way to end a day of work like having a hands filled with cash.

What you hadn’t expected though was the person who called out your name, “Y/n.”

Freezing where you stood you felt your heart rate spike at the sound of the voice as your lips quivered, turning around you had never felt more exposed then the moment you turned around to meet the hellfire gaze of your ex boyfriend, “Hanjae?” How in gods name did he even think to come here, of all places to look for you?

You knew it didn’t look good, you were in nothing but cheeky panties and a pair of clear stripper heels, piles of money in hand as you skittishly backed away, self consciousness suddenly lighting through your veins like wildfire at his disgusted, sneered glare, “So this is what you’ve succumbed to huh?” Hanjae snapped out, stalking closer to you as you feebishly backed away, “Dancing like a whore for money? God what the hell happened to you Y/n? You used to be so innocent and you’ve let the wrong people fucking ruin you.”

He sounded as angry as he looked before suddenly grabbing at your arm in an iron hold,pain shooting against your skin as you winced, his voice steel and low as he spoke, “Come on, get dressed, if you needed money that bad you should’ve told me instead of trying to push me away and sell yourself.”

“I-I…” You were in shock at first before quickly pulling away, anger flooding your body as you felt a pang an indignant pang in your stomach, “I’m not selling myself you dick!” You had never seen Hanjae’s brows shoot up the way they did at your uncharacteristic words before you gave another tug on your arm in an attempt to pull away from him, “This is my job and I’m not going anywhere with you! Now get the fuck out of here before I call security.”

How dare he! Just because you were a stripper didn’t make your work any less hard, your feet were scarred with blisters, had bled from them digging into your feet, you couldn’t count the amount of pulled muscles you had gained and the amount of creeps you dealt with on a day to day basis. Being a strip worker didn’t make your job or you any less valid! How dare he insinuate that it wasn’t!

Hanjae’s glare sharpened as he squeezed harsher on your arm, a pained whimper escaping your lips and tears threatening to sting your eyes at the throb in your arm as he snapped, “This is not your job, you’re making yourself so easy for men and that’s not who you are. Get a fucking hold of yourself.”

You had parted your lips once more to snap back at him but before you could even say anything Hanjae was suddenly pulled away from you, hauled up into the hands of Jungkook’s tight knuckled grip on his shirt, his broad back facing you as he growled, “Listen here you little freak, if I ever fucking see you touch her like that again, I will personally break every finger on your hand. Now you heard her, get the fuck out of her.”

Jungkook had let go of his shirt, intending to turn around to check on you before he was suddenly shoved back, “Oh, I should’ve known you were the cause of this, what are you?” Hanjae sneered, “Her little fucking puppy? You know she doesn’t love you, right?”

You swallowed thickly at the way Jungkook’s shoulders tensed and before you could even reach out to calm him down his knuckle had already curled into a fist that was sent directly into Hanjae’s path and just as you had seen countless times, Jungkook never missed his target.

Everything happened so fast, Hanjae had stumbled back and before he could even recover Jungkook had already hauled him up, shoving him against the wall where another punch was thrown, and another, and another one after that.

Before you knew it security had hurried over and it still took Hoseok pulling Jungkook away to get him to stop, his knuckle swollen and blood trickling down your ex’s face but Jungkook didn’t relent as he growled, “Next time I see you, you’ll be fucking lucky to have them stop me.”

“Next time you’ll be the one eating dirt you whore fucker.” Hanjae sneered out, Jungkook was quickly riled up again as he struggled to lunge back at him, Namjoon had already been hurrying over, quickly grabbing Jungkook as well to hold him back while Hanjae tried to reach back for him, the security hauling him away as he thrashed.

“Easy Jungkook, cool down.” Namjoon sighed, both him and Hoseok still struggling to keep him back as he glared holes into Hanjae’s figure. Jungkook quickly snapped at them both to let him go, and reluctantly they did so as his eyes quickly locked onto your figure, anger residing briefly before concern took over, “Are you okay babygirl?” He quickly pushed away from both friends as he gently grabbed your forearms, eyes washing over your body to check for any marks left behind, “Did he hurt you?” His words had a sour tone now, as if pissed at just the idea making you swallow before quickly shaking your head.

“Hey, hey, hey! Look at me,” You quickly grabbed his attention that was now redirecting to where Hanjae had been dragged off too, “I’m fine Guk, it’s fine.” He still didn’t seem sold on your words, his jaw still clenched and his eyes lingering on the exit, almost looking as if he wanted to follow just to continue beating the life out of your ex.

He huffed before glancing back at you, his grip on you opposite of his sour gaze, “Come on, get dressed in my room, that was your last dance right?” You nodded as he quickly wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you along back into the staff area of the building.

You had gathered your bag, packing up before pulling on the robe and making your way to his dressing room. Opening the door you peaked in before coming in fully, Jungkook had been pacing, running a hand through his hair, still huffy at what had happened as he glanced at you briefly, “Honestly Y/n, how could you ever be with such an asshole?” He huffed, jaw clenched as he collapsed down on the couch, almost looking like a brooding child as he tucked his tongue into his cheek, “What a fucking dick, why didn’t you come get me?”

You clacked you lips, raising your eyebrows as you set your bag down on his vanity, taking off your robe as you sat down and began to get changed, “Jungkook you got off shift an hour ago, how was I supposed to know you were still at Cherry Bomb?”

You glanced in the mirror to watch his lips part and close several times, wanting to object before his face soured again, looking away from you as he huffed once more, obviously knowing you were right before he muttered, “Still, he’s lucky I didn’t break his jaw right there. Has he been stalking you?” He suddenly demanded, as if fired up again at the idea, “We’re going to get a restraining order if he keeps this shit up.”

“Yeah, yeah okay,” You replied dismissively, more focused on your stockings you unclipped from your garter belt as you pulled them off, “I’m being serious!” Jungkook snapped though his tone held no real bite, you only waved a hand, making his lips part indignantly at your dismissal. Sighing you stood up as you faced him, “Jungkook it’s fine, really, outside of the occasional wall of text he sends me he hasn’t tried to get into my apartment-”

“I’d hope to fuck he hasn’t!” Jungkook cut you off with a growl, as he shifted around in his seat. You had learned to never take him completely serious when he got like this, thus your dismissal though you’d admit. Hanjae finding you at work did have you a little spooked. Jungkook had changed the lock out on your door after the last incident two months ago and since then you didn’t have a problem.

Occasionally Hanjae would find you out in a diner or at the mall but he’d never actually had the chance to really argue with you. Sighing you grabbed the bra from your bag before hooking it and pulling it over your shoulders, “Jungkook!” You chided him making him look away from you, refusing to let his broody expression go, at times, he truly was like a child, “Look at me, I’m completely fine. I was just taken aback at him being here, that’s all. Besides I doubt he tries anything after what you did.” You adjusted the bra before pulling the sweat pants out of your bag.

“He’s lucky Hoseok got there when he did,” He replied lowly, eyes now casted on his knuckle which was red and appeared a little swollen, “Would’ve did a lot more than that if they had let me. Little bitch deserves it.”

Sighing you pulled the shirt over your head before walking over, taking a seat on the couch beside him, he still refused to look at you, not wanting to let go of his broodiness which truly did make him look like a toddler, “Koo,”

“I told you not to call me that,” Jungkook turned away from you, his brows furrowing making you snort a laugh which made his shoulders more tense, obviously still not over the situation.

Sighing you let your gaze soften slightly before scooting a little closer, “Look at me,” He still refused making you clack your lips before delicately grabbing his jaw, feeling his warm skin beneath your touch and the tension that held in his jaw, “Come on, look at me I’m fine,” You pulled his gaze towards you, his broody expression threatening to drop as you cupped his face, letting your fingers graze down his jawline, “You already threw hands with him, you stopped him from hurting me, what more do you want?”

Jungkook tried to sport his brooding expression but couldn’t at the feeling of your small hands practically petting against his jaw forcing it to relax against your touch, “Maybe a thank you,” He replied with a murmur, though you could tell he was just using that as an excuse to keep being huffy, laughing you gave a nod before crawling up into his lap, hands suddenly wrapping around you as you buried down into the crook of his neck, pressing a shy kiss against his skin as you smiled, “Thank you Guk.”

You felt his nose bury down into your hair, his body finally relaxing as he murmured, “Always babygirl.”

“Come on, don't be a little bitch,” Jimin tried to coax you as you laughed shaking your head as you held your arms in front of you. Most people usually went out partying for their birthdays, but given you and all of your friends worked in a strip club the inclination was not there.

Instead everyone was in comfy clothes or pajamas, a bottle of half drank whiskey was out and a movie had been running in the background, it was perfect.

The vanilla cake with buttercream frosting had been cut into and admittedly, you were part of the reason it was nearly gone, and already working on your third slice as Jimin tried to coax you into a line of shots, “I’m a lightweight Jimin once I start I won’t stop.”

“Oh so you’re basically Namjoon but smaller?” Seokjin snorted, taking the bottle to put more in his cup of soda as Namjoon shot him an unappreciative glare, “Come on live a little Y/n, Jungkook can take you home if you get wasted, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you drunk.”

Drinking together had happened quite often, so you’d give him merit to his words. You weren’t a drinker yourself and always suffered terrible nausea afterwards, thus forcing you to not partake as you always had a bad hangover the day after.

You pouted before sighing, watching Jimin throwback another shot, his cheeks already flushed and you could tell he was beginning to walk the fine line of sober and drunk, “I’m not going to force Jungkook to be my babysitter while we aren’t at Cherry Bomb, I’m cool just eating cake,” You pointed at your half ate slice before smiling, “In fact, I’ll probably go for a fourth here soon.” Plopping another piece in your mouth you gave a smile. Namjoon sat down beside you as he pulled an arm around your shoulder, “Not all of us have to get wasted to have fun.”

Namjoon was usually the only other sober person besides yourself and Jungkook and therefore you had shared the bond of the few sober people left, Jungkook, you had found out wasn’t particularly fond of drinking either, though according to Jimin he wasn’t a lightweight.

“Alright that’s it,” Seokin stood up as he grabbed an empty shot glass, making you instantly object as he poured the contents into it, walking over as he put the shot in front of you, “It’s my personal task to get you to loosen up and get wasted tonight.”

Your expression puckered into a sour one as you glared down at the shot, you could hear Seulgi laughing near the couch with Hoseok as she called out, “Y/n never cuts loose, that’s a lost battle Seokjin.”

Whipping around your lips parted, slightly offended at her words. You could relax! You just didn’t need to be wasted to do so! Huffing, you could tell Jungkook had been rubbing off on you as the need to prove her wrong rose in your stomach. You could drink, just because it wasn’t your go to didn’t make you any less fun. Clacking your lips you suddenly grabbed the shot before knocking it back.

Your face distorted at its taste and your throat burned but you took it like a champ before waving Seokjin for another round, his grin brightening as he brought the bottle over and Jimin was already cheering you on, “Uh are you sure Y/n?” Namjoon asked, a little concerned for you as Seokjin gave less than two shits and preferred enabling you.

You gave a relaxed nod as you smiled, “I’m fine! I know what to call it quits.” You cheered your shot towards him before taking a second one, you could relax perfectly fine. Maybe they were right, it had been forever since you drank anyways and tomorrow was Sunday anyways, one of the few precious days off to sleep in.

“Look this is important to me okay?” Jungkook raised his brows as he sat out on the bed, having been pulled aside by his bestfriend who was pacing around the room, that signature anxious look on his face he only dawned when it was about his lover.

Sighing Jungkook shrugged before asking, “Okay? What’s up?” He knew he was in for the long haul when his best friend sighed, pulling out the black velvet box from his pocket, Jungkook’s eyes widened as he spoke, “Oh shit, you were serious?”

Taehyung had been debating the idea for countless hours to him about proposing and honestly? Jungkook didn’t really care but he’d be supportive regardless of his friend’s decision, but to see the pretty diamond ring sparking in it’s holder still had him a little taken aback, Taehyung only groaned at his expression, wondering why he expected anything less, “Of course I was being serious. I love her man, I just, we’ve been living together for awhile now and I figured, let’s just tie the knot, y’know? Yeri’s cousin just got married recently and she’s been talking non stop about when we do one day, I just figured...Why one day when we can now?”

Sighing Jungkook leaned back against his hands, still apprehensive about the idea, he had been an ass when they were younger sure and he gave Yeri a hard time definitely, he could always owe up to when he was a dick. But still, marriage was a bit...Maybe he just didn’t understand? Shrugging he decided to give as neutral of a reply as possible, “Sure I guess.”

“Oh my god,” Taehyung muttered under his breath, irritated at both Jungkook for his lack of real opinion and himself for expecting more of an answer, Jungkook only gave a hum as he shrugged again, watching his best friend pace back and forth before running a hand through his hair, “Dude can’t you be a little more helpful?”

Holding up his hands Jungkook raised his own brows before scoffing, “You think I know shit about girls let alone proposing? Just ask Y/n, she’d probably be more help than me.”

“Just you wait you little shit,” Taehyung huffed, running a hand through his hair once more as he rolled his eyes, almost daydreaming about the day Jungkook wouldn’t be such an emotionally constipated idiot, “You’ll be in my position eventually.”

Clacking his lips Jungkook mirrored his expression as he rolled his own eyes, just the idea made him shudder and everyone knew he was not about that kind of life. Opening the door to the closed room as they both began to walk down the hallway, “Doubt it, you know how I feel about marriage.”

Snorting Taehyung glanced at him in disbelief, “What the one where you actually wanna get married and have a traditional wedding because you’re that guy?” Taehyung placed the small box back in his pocket, a small anxiety still in his heart unsure of when or where the right time would be to pop the question.

“The one where I doubt I’ll find a girl to even marry dipshit,” Jungkook replied, sighing as he gave a careless shrug as they walked down the hall, “Besides I have too much baggage for anyone to want to deal with anyways. I don’t see the big deal, just ask her, she’d say yes regardless.”

Taehyung glared at him briefly, “You can’t just ask a girl to marry you Jungkook-”

“Hell yeah you can,” Jungkook snorted back, a dumb grin on his face that made Taehyung glare at him with the strong urge to punch it right off his face, ignoring his friends over dramatization Jungkook jabbed him with his elbow, “Imma fucking propose while eating my girl out just to prove your ass wrong, just you wait.”

He only facepalmed as Jungkook laughed, patting his back reassuringly before he continued, “All jokes aside you’ll know when the time is right, don’t rush anything, it’s not like you guys don’t have forever.”

Sighing Taehyung looked a little downcast but nodded his expression however, quickly twisted into mild shock as his eyes suddenly perking up as they entered the living room, sighing as he muttered, “Oh jesus christ.”

Confused Jungkook glanced up as well, eyes widening to saucers at the hot mess the living room had become under the twenty minutes they both had been gone.

Yeri had long since become drunk, sniffling in front of the mirror as Rosé continuously gave her an empowering speech, though her own words were jostled and slurred as Yeri cried while nodding in the mirror. Hoseok had already been passed out on the couch and Seulgi was on her way out as well.

The more horrifying sight was his own trainee on the barstool straddled in Jimin’s lap, his lips attached to your neck but your focus was on the near empty bottle of whiskey that you shakily poured into your cup, accidentally spilling most in the process, “M-mm!” You whined with a hiccup, his plump lips working down your neck as you closed your eyes, finally dropping the bottle on the counter as it’s contents spilled out.

You couldn’t even remember how many shots you had took and your mind was hazy, body burning up and wetness pooled between your legs at the feeling of Jimin’s swollen erection in his own sweatpants that brushed against your thigh.

Jimin placed his hands on your hips, encouraging you as you bucked against him, giving another whimper at the friction that pressed into your clit, your mind hazy and not even properly realizing what position you sat yourself voluntarily in. You gave an even bigger whine at suddenly being picked up, the pleasure you had been chasing after quickly disappearing, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jungkook growled between you both as he held you close, his grip tight and had you been sober you would’ve noticed both the protective and jealous leer in his expression.

You however, weren’t sober at all and therefore struggled against him uselessly in attempt to sit back in the warm lap that made you feel so good. Jimin’s cheeks were flushed as he drunkenly stood up, swaying a little before poking Jungkook’s chest though he himself looked more affected by it as he laughed, “Jealousy isn’t a good look of you Guk (hic) you should get that checked out.”

You let out a small whine, kicking to get out of Jungkook’s arms but he didn’t relent, in fact, it seemed to make him only squeeze you tighter as he glared down at the blonde, “Fuck off. We’re leaving Y/n.” Your lips parted several times at the use of your name before pouting, letting him grab your phone before saying goodbye to Taehyung and Namjoon, the only two sober people left before making his way out of the apartment.

Jungkook set you down, swaying you suddenly giggled, taking a wobbly step forward, the world around you seemed to be spinning yet it only seemed to make you laugh, what a strange world! “(hic) Why is the floor spinning Koo?” Accidentally leaning too far back you almost fell down before Jungkook quickly herded behind you, catching you as he sighed, maybe he shouldn’t of been surprised but he didn’t honestly think someone as tiny as you could actually get so wasted in such little time.

But clearly you weren’t lying all those times you told him you were lightweight. But this? No this was featherweight. Sweeping you off your feet he carried you with ease as he glanced down at your figure, “Fucking hell baby, how much could you drink in twenty minutes?”

“Mmm,” You ignored him, your eyes glassy and dilated, looking spacey and more interested in the bulge of his muscles that proudly flexed while carrying you so effortlessly, your arms happily wrapped around his neck before pressing your nose into it’s crook as you swung your feet, “You’re so (hic) strong Koo.” he sighed at the feeling of your soft lips peppering his neck in kisses with another little hiccup, “Are we (hic) getting food?”

Jungkook wrinkled his nose as he carefully walked down the stairs of the apartment complex, making sure to hold onto you a little tighter (much to your delight) as he sighed, “No babydoll, you need some water and sleep.”

His words made your mouth gape before twisting into a big puppy pout, you kicked your feet around before whining into his neck, Jungkook didn’t relent though despite your childishness, not wanting to have to clean up the bile that you would undoubtedly throw up if he took you out to eat, “No buts, you already had way too much cake, you’ll be lucky to keep that down on the ride back home.”

You were already whining again, your grip on his neck tightening as you begged, your tummy rumbling though you weren’t sure if that was a good thing, eyes watery as you whimpered, “But…! I-I’m- (hic) but I’m hungry!” Jungkook paused at the bottom of the stairs, closing his eyes as he inhaled through his nose, feeling the wet substances of tears trickling against his neck, “Guk!” you cried softly before giving another pathetic little hiccup that had been breaking your voice anytime you spoke, had he not been so focused on taking you home he would’ve found a moment to laugh and address how cute it was.

Jungkook felt a piece of his will chip away at your tears, mainly because he couldn’t stand to see you cry, even if it was because you were completely drunk and just wanted to impulse eat, “Baby no,” He concluded softly, walking towards his car as he shifted his grip on you to one hand briefly to pull his keys from his pocket, “You’ve had too much to drink, we can get something to eat in the morning.”

He almost wanted to groan at the sob that emitted from his neck, your hands now coiled around him tightly as you threw a fit, Jungkook let out a silent sigh, feeling as if he should’ve known you’d be ten times more melodramatic than when you were sober when you didn’t get your way. Unlocking the car he set you down in the passenger side, struggling to get you to let go before he paused, kneeling down “Hey, look at me baby.”

Hiccuping you finally looked at him, your eyes bloodshot and pupils dilated more than normal, you looked like a sad little puppy with watery eyes and fat crocodile tears running down your cheeks as he cupped your face, “You can’t eat baby, you’ve had a lot of cake already and I don’t want you getting sick,” he explained softly while wiping your tears as you let out a string of ‘But’s’ along with another hiccup, “Shhh,” He hushed you as you softly shed a few more tears, “We’ll get something to eat in the morning, but we need to get home baby.”

Letting out another gentle sob you finally let go of him while defeatedly curling your knees into your chest, shutting the door Jungkook groaned, running a hand through his hair. He left you for twenty- not even twenty it had to be fifteen minutes and they...He forced his jaw to relax as he sat in the drivers side, deciding to not think about it or else he’d go back in there and find out who put you up to drinking.

The car ride had went smooth for the most part, after three minutes you had forgotten why you were crying to begin with and had happily talked about dogs almost the whole way home before you started crying again, mainly about dogs and why you were allergic to them and how life wasn’t fair. Jungkook couldn’t help the snort that escaped his lips in the process, which caused an ocean of tears from you making him hurriedly attempt to soothe.

You were half passed out by the time he got you out of the car, pulling out the key to your apartment before unlocking the door and carrying you inside, letting out a sigh he laid you down on your bed as you murmured in a sleepy, small voice, “(hic) you aren’t leaving me. Right?”

“You need to get some sleep babydoll,” Jungkook tried to stand straight but your grip on him coiled suddenly babbling about how men were heartless and women should create a harmonic society like amazons where women would never have to deal with men again, all because he said, you. needed. sleep.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Jungkook sighed, making you scoot over excitedly, your grin was hard to deny as you bounced in your spot as he laid down, almost immediately crashed down on top of him, nuzzling into his neck as he wrapped his arms around you, “You’re a handful you know that?”

Fumbling you placed your hands on his chest, propping yourself up a little to look at him as you replied, “But I’m (hic) your baby, I’m worth it.” You flashed him a closed eye smile.

Jungkook couldn’t resist the urge to laugh as he rubbed a hand down your back, his gaze soft and affectionate at how silly and cute of a drunk you were, unable to deny your words he let a small smile pull on his lips, “My baby huh? Still doesn’t make it easy for me.”

You wiggled against his touch, looking like a stretched out cat who’d be purring by now at the affection he showered you in, what Jungkook hadn’t expected was your legs to slot on either side of his thigh before wiggling your hips, giving a little whimper in the process, “What do you think you’re doing babydoll” Jungkook raised an eyebrow, unable to keep the smirk off his face as he let his hands find their way to your hips.

He watched for a moment, almost mesmerized at the way your hips so fluidly rode down against his thigh even while drunk, letting out a soft moan at the friction in your clit building up, heat pooling between your thighs and the lacy panties you wore ruined by wetness, “Mmm! Feels so good daddy.”

You dragged your hips down his thigh with a soft whine, it took nearly every fiber of strength Jungkook had to lay still before groaning, the feeling of your little, messy, wet cunt spread open while riding along his thigh almost too much to bear, those pretty cheeks dusted red and those watery eyes could have him on his knees in seconds as you let out a soft whine, “Daddy, touch me.”

Before you could even beg Jungkook suddenly grabbed you, flipping you onto the bed. You body flooded in excitement at being underneath him, what you hadn’t expected though was for his crushing weight to be on top of you rather then hovering over you, “Guk!” You cried out, your body begging and burning up in need of friction, making you frantically try to rub your hips into his but his weight prevented you from doing so, the only thing you could feel was his hardened length teasingly pressed into the top of your thigh.

“You’re way too drunk for this babydoll, get some sleep.” He pressed his nose into your neck while closing his eyes, ignoring your pleas and cries as you tried to shuffle underneath him,

“B-but! I’m so wet! I need you, now!” You whined out with another hiccup, tears trickling down your face again at being unable to sate the crave your body burned for as you begged, “A-and you’re so hard Guk please, please, (hic) please! I need your cock inside me so bad daddy.”

Jungkook assumed when he got you home it would get easier, now laying in bed with you begging for his dick he realized that obviously wasn’t gonna be the case. Sighing he ignored the drunken filth you’d be mortified at on any other occasion, “Tell you what babydoll,” he lifted his head to acknowledge you, secretly hoping you’d stop because his dick was beginning to throb in pain and at this rate he’d just have to blow a load in the bathroom by himself once you fell asleep, “If you’re really that horny in the morning you can ride my cock before I even wake up, sound good?”

You stayed quiet for a moment, almost looking adorable before murmuring, “But I want it now…”

“Well too bad,” Jungkook replied, snuggling back into your neck, your perfume now competing with the smell of alcohol, “You’re just gonna have to be a good girl and wait baby.”

You had never ran into the bathroom faster in your life, your head was pounding, stomach churning in the most disgusting way, the way when you knew you were gonna throw up and it was a race against time to reach the toilet. You didn't have time to question why the hell Jungkook was in your bed when the strong waves of nausea hitting you were enough to drown in.

Your eyes were near glossed over by the time you finished throwing up, groaning as you coughed, spitting out as much of the disgusting taste as you could before brushing your teeth a good three times, tongue and all before sighing. God you felt like such shit, why did you even consider drinking? Rubbing your eyes you let out a groan before adjusting to the light fully, your lips instantly parting in horror at the bruising purple marks on your neck.

“Jungkook what the fuck!” You shouted not caring what time it was or if he was asleep. This man had hell to pay! You didn’t care what the circumstances where, you weren’t even sober enough to remember doing it! You didn’t actually care that he did it, he was your mentor and you trusted him but…! Fucking hell could he have at least waited until you were a little more sober, sober enough to at least have some memory of it.

Walking back into the room you crossed your arms with a growl as Jungkook shifted, eyes lazily opening as he yawned, “The fuck did I do?” He asked quizzically yet not actually caring, grabbing your pillow cuddling before it close, closing his eyes once more while nuzzling his nose into the material.

You would’ve thought it was a cute gesture on any other occasion had you not just seen the hickey marks on your neck, “The fuck did you do? What the hell is this?” You pointed to your neck in accusation, cheeks bright red and embarrassment washing over you, you didn’t even remember how you got home or how Jungkook got in your bed. What the hell happened?

You both were dressed, which eased your nerves but you were still on edge, Jungkook only rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrist to pull you down into bed making you yelp, both of you wrestling for a moment before Jungkook forced you beneath him, “I left for fifteen minutes and suddenly you were eight shots of whiskey into Jimin’s lap,” You groaned under his weight as he laid his head down on your chest, “You cried almost the whole way home, and then got even more pissy when I wouldn’t let you thigh ride me, any more questions?” He heard an indignant huff from you, one that was usually from embarrassment that made him smile, closing his eyes again.

“Shut up.” You muttered, shifting beneath his weight before letting out a small groan. Rubbing your forehead that pounded as you let out a small whine, not wanting to even think about what Jungkook probably had to endure, you were always embarrassing when you drank. God only knew what you did this time.

It was quiet for a moment, your head still aching and you closed your eyes but the irritation persisted before you felt the weight of Jungkook’s body lift, hands on either side of you as the familiar smirk coiled on his lips, “You still in the mood to ride me babydoll?”

“The fuck!?” You yelped, quickly squirming underneath him despite his hands still caging you into your spot, your cheeks bright red at the realization you definitely became a little too horny last night, it was both a surprise and yet not at the same time to know he had the restraint to not jump your bones last night.

Jungkook had already let his lips press down against your neck making you whine, cheekings burning in embarrassment as he spoke, “You know how hard it was to ignore you?” You let out a small breath at his hands grabbing onto your waist, squeezing tightly as he licked a strip up your neck, “You were begging for daddy’s cock last night while riding that needy little pussy over my thigh.”

“Jungkook!” You cried out with a whimper, your cheeks bright red and your head throbbing more, you had already began to rub your thighs together, heat pooling between them as he sucked gently against the skin right above your hickey.

His hands slid under your shirt, petting down the sides of your body as he huffed, “I didn’t realize you were such a horny drunk, you were all over my dick last night babygirl,” You whined in frustration, letting your head knock back against the bed as you kicked your feet, “So needy,”

Jungkook clacked his tongue, a little half smirk pulling on his lips as he cupped your heat making you jolt with a whine, hips instantly rocking into his hand, “God even hungover you still want my fingers, isn’t that right baby?” He cooed out, his fingers brushing up your dripping folds, your panties ruined as he pressed little circles into your clit, the sudden cry escaping your lips as you squeezed your legs together, “Right baby?” He teased, asking you once more.

“Y-yes!” You finally relented with a rapid nod, your body's need bigger than your dignity at the moment, “Please!” you whined with a plea, Jungkook let the pad of his finger pressed down harder against your sensitive nub in reward as he rubbed it in circles.

“What a good girl,” He cooed out making your hips buck into his hand once more with a frustrated whine, pleasure rolling through your body at the way his single finger instantly found your sweet spot, “You’re so wet baby, you’re making a mess,” He clacked with a small laugh, and he was right of course, your wetness had seeped through your panties, creating a wet spot on your sweatpants making your cheeks burn as you whined, “Does baby wanna cum?”

Your hips were rocking in sync with his fingers that prodded along your clit sending little flickers of pleasure through your body as you let out a breathy moan, your orgasm building as you nodded, “P-please! Please!”

Jungkook let his fingers speed up causing your thighs to quiver and moan to brokenly leave your lips, “You really wanna cum babydoll?” He teased, eating up your little gasps and whines, your body rocking into his hand needy for more of the friction he gave your little clit, nodding you spewed out another string of pleas, your body unable to take anymore teasing as you felt your orgasm ready to snap, “Well too bad.”

A near sob escaped your lips as Jungkook replied casually, pulling his fingers away from you as he sat up with a stretch. Kicking your feet you let out several breathes and whines as he started laughing. Opening and closing your lips a few times as disbelief glossed in your eyes making him laugh harder, “Don’t give me that pout babydoll, I’m just doing to do what you did to me last night.”

“I was drunk!” You shouted with a cry as he got up dismissing you with a wave of his hand before leaving the room, sulkily you threw yourself back down on the bed as you kicked your feet, what a rude ass! Your body was sensitive from being edged and denied, glancing at the door to make sure he hadn’t returned you dropped your hand back down your body before letting it trail to the hem of your pants.

“You better not be touching yourself in there,” Jungkook called from the kitchen making you whine as you flopped onto your stomach, he teased you relentlessly and now you couldn’t even finish yourself!? Your head ached in dull pain and you felt even more like garbage then before as you buried your head under your pillow.

Footsteps padded through the room again as Jungkook snorted, “You are such a baby, take your medicine and remember to drink some water, I doubt hangover sex is the way you want our first time to go.”

“You don’t know that.” You sulked from under your pillow, this wasn’t the first time this had happened. Being teased, aroused, then edged and denied your release only for him to casually take his leave, it wasn’t fair! He had plenty of girls to go to and all you had was him and your fingers which in comparison weren’t cutting it anymore,

Jungkook let his hand pet down your waist as he replied, “Oh but I do babygirl, I do. Anyways I have to prep for that bachelorette party at Cherry Bomb scheduled for later today so you probably won’t hear from me until tonight.”

Ah yes, apparently some rich clients threw their money together and rented out the whole damn building and hired on all the male soloists for one of the client’s bachelorette party. You only shuddered at the idea of having to work one of the few days you got off. You waved him away with a groan, making him give another laugh as he left, obviously successful in his tease attack on you. You were gonna kill that man.

You couldn’t keep the dumb smile from your face as you curled back up in bed, letting the soft fuzzy blanket rub against your warm cheeks as you stared at your phone. You thought Koo was the cutest nickname and knowing he’d tolerate you using it made you all warm and fuzzy inside.

Stretching out you turned off your phone before honing in on the show you had put on.

“You’re awfully happy,” Yeri who was sprawled out on the foot of the bed took note in your beaming expression, a lot of nights when Cherry Bomb had been booked for the boys Taehyung would often have to work the bar leaving you and Yeri alone and bored most of the night.

To cure the problem she had offered one time if you wanted to spend the night, it had become routine ever since when they were at work.

It wasn’t like you minded, in fact, you had been considerably more upbeat the last few months as Seulgi always had other friends and didn’t necessarily have time for you most days, having both Yeri and Rosé to keep you company when any of your male friends were busy left you bright and happy.

Rosé who was also bored with nothing to do that night had also stayed at your house, mainly complaining that those ‘three headed wenches’ stole Jimin from their movie night and left her with no other plans but never not in the mood to drop in to visit with you. She even gave a pout when she found out you and Yeri had been getting together with out her on your newly appointed girls night.

She was currently on the floor, feet spread out in front of her as she continued to paint her toenails, clacking her tongue she gave a knowing smile, “Koo is Y/n’s nickname for Jungkook,” she gave a sing song tone making your cheeks flush, she didn’t have to say it like that! “He said she’s the only one he’s okay with calling him it.”

Yeri gave an ‘Oh’ making your cheeks flush further as you grabbed the pillow from your side, cuddling it close as you nuzzled your nose into the soft fuzzy fur, “Shut up guys.” You whined making them both laugh. You knew what they were hinting at but didn’t want to confide anything.

It wasn’t necessarily them, but it was yourself. The main reason you had yet to jump into anything with Jungkook was simply because you wanted time, making sure you eased out of your breakup with no strings attached or any regret. Jungkook being who he was, wasn’t about to pressure you into anything, especially after you told him you just wanted time to recoup from your break up, understably, it was also the main reason he held off from any advancements on you, physically and...you supposed romantically. You swallowed at the idea, making your cheeks burn hotter.

You couldn’t help but feel a little excitement rush through you at the thought, you supposed, you had developed a little bit of a...crush on your mentor. But it was hard not too, all the petnames, cuddles and affection, he’d take you for breakfast most days and endured your delicate temperament, it would be hard to not have at least a tiny crush on him.

It was why you avoided the group chat so heavily, you didn’t like being taunted by all of his one night stands even though that was never his intention in the first place. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Jungkook had a high sex drive and to be fair you did want time on your own, no relationships or beneifcal friendships. But still. Maybe, just maybe, he liked you too?

You rubbed your cheeks as Yeri gave a hum, “When do you think they’ll get in? You said Jungkook left here around twelve right?”

“Mhm,” You shifted against the soft pillow with a nod, “He went to Cherry Bomb earlier to get everything set up, probably stopped by his apartment and got showered first though. Pretty sure it didn’t start until around three I think?”

Rosé nodded as she dipped the handle back in the nail polish bottle, “Mhm, those girls have to be wasted by now, hopefully they didn’t get any of the guys to drink too much.” You couldn’t help but let your face scrunch slightly, that had also happened before and was never a pretty sight.

Not as though you had to deal with it for very long, you had never even seen Jungkook drunk before but he was also extremely adamant about it and had simply told you he didn’t need to be wasted to have a good time. You weren’t about to complain when Jimin and Hoseok had been up on the bar attempting karaoke, shockingly enough, they were actually pretty decent.

Yeri sighed as she curled up on the bed, the poor thing obviously wishing her lover was with her as she circled patterns on the soft comforter, “I can only hope.” You gave her a tiny, sympathetic smile, you could understand in a way. On nights like these you’d prefer to be lounged out with Jungkook annoyingly eating all of your chips, though you secretly loved it, while you browsed on your laptop.

It was the little things you enjoyed the most.

“You know what,” Rosé clacked her lips, opening her phone as she gave a hum, “I'm gonna see if I can yoink some selfies from them.” You groaned, curling into your pillow you held, they often had a weekend ritual of sending borderline nsfw selfies into the chat, or sometimes they were nsfw.

Just as she finished her message your phone buzzed, curiously Yeri crawled over to you as you let go of your pillow, letting her look over your shoulder as you facepalmed.

Yeri and Rosé were wheezing as you whined, throwing your phone on the bed as you cried out with a loud whine, burying yourself in the piles of blankets. Your cheeks on fire and a whimper escaping your lips from embarrassment. God why did you ever think taking that photo was a good idea?

You had just gotten out of the shower yesterday morning when you took that photo, feeling cute and just taking it to take it without any intention of ever letting it see the light of day for someone else's eyes. Just the idea of Jungkook seeing it made your face blush wildly and your humiliation want to dive off a cliff.

“Why did you even have that on your phone if you didn’t wanna send it?” Rosé howled out, standing up as she waddled over to the bed, careful to not ruin her freshly painted toenails, “Was it for someone else?”

“No!” You cried out making them break into a whole new fit of laughter, “I-I just! I felt cute that morning!” It was the truth, you had thought maybe it would help your esteem by taking a cute panty picture but now all you felt was embarrassed. It was dumb given your friends had all seen you in even less then that before, on a daily basis. But this was different, it was private, for your eyes only.

It wasn’t a big deal, and it was your own fault but still. You wouldn’t deny the stir between your thighs at Jungkook’s messages though, obviously riled up at the ten second glance he gained from your picture. If your cheeks weren’t red before they definitely were now.

Sighing you ignored their laughs as you crawled out of bed, shuffling to the bathroom in an attempt to recompose yourself. Shutting the door you sighed, dropping your head against it before letting out a whine, note to self: delete those pictures.

At that thought your phone buzzed making you jump, not sure if Jungkook stole someones phone to text you or- Oh.... you sighed in relief at the text from your mother, they had been talking about taking a trip to visit you here in Seoul next month and honestly? You had been happy to know, you had been so buried between class and work that you rarely had time to talk to your mom anymore. Knowing they’d be visiting next month made you all giddy and excited, steering your embarrassed thoughts away from what had just happened.

Taking a moment to recollect yourself and text your mom back you took your time, getting ready to open the door when it suddenly rapped from the other side, “Y/n!”

Opening the door your heartrate spiked at Rosé’s fretting tone, confused you glanced between her wide frantic eyes and Yeri who was putting on her shoes, “What’s up?”

“Jimin just called, Namjoon took a bad fall from the stage, they’re on their way to the hospital right now.” She had already turned to put her shoes on as you quickly followed suit. A bad fall? What was that supposed to mean, did he hit his head? Was he okay? Had he overworked himself? They did have a lot of numbers for that bachelorette party. Wasting no time you put your shoes on, grabbing your cardigan and keys before heading to the car, looks like a day off just didn’t exist anymore.

It was nearly two AM and your eyes had that familiar sting of tiredness in them, it hurt to blink and the bright fluorescent lights of hospital almost made you squint. You had been curled up against the familiar side of Jungkook who had an arm around you, looking tired himself as he yawned, running a hand through his hair, “Didn’t think it would take them this long to get xrays done.”

“He’s probably giving them a hard time with how much he drank,” Jimin snorted from the other wall, Rosé long past out on his shoulder with a small snore, “We still have training tomorrow and Cherry Bomb’s a fucking mess, Seokjin is still on the phone with Sejin and hell- maybe even Bang, might get the day off but who knows.” He stretched out as much as he could without disturbing Rosé, his eyes also tired and honestly you were surprised Jimin was the sober one given how often he drank too much.

“Was Yoongi not there tonight?” You asked quietly, rubbing your eyes as you let out a yawn yourself shuffling in Jungkook’s grip as he pulled you closer, usually you’d still be fairly bright eyed at Cherry Bomb but it was different when you were in sweats and a t-shirt compared to a bodysuit with a margarita in hand.

You felt the urge to shut your eyes when Jungkook ran his hand against your arm, “No he’s visiting family in Daegu for the weekend, he won’t be back until tomorrow evening to cover regular shift. I can head back over and clean up, I doubt we’ll hear anything about Namjoon until the morning.” Jungkook stood up making a muffled whine escape your lips at the loss of heat his body served as your own personal heater, his lips quirked into a small smirk as he glanced down, “You wanna come help baby?”

Groaning you sunk into your seat, not at all appealed to the idea of spending your night, the one you where you should’ve been in the warm covers of your bed, at Cherry Bomb once again, except cleaning up a room that looked like a frat party no doubt, “Oh yeah just how I wanted to spend my day off.” You sighed as you stood up, rubbing your eyes as you bidded everyone goodnight, following behind Jungkook with another yawn.

Cherry Bomb, just as Jimin said, was a literal wreck.

Bottles scattered over the floors tables had been put up and chairs littered the main floor, glitter and holographic confetti covered the floor and splatters of white substance...presumably cum- stained the floor, god you hated bachelorette parties, “This is so disgusting.” You groaned, ignoring the white substance as you continued sweeping up the confetti.

“Hey I kept my dick in my pants the whole time, blame Seokjin for half of this.” That was the last excuse you even wanted to hear as Jungkook defended himself, “You should’ve seen it, almost three of them got in a fight to suck his dick.” Closing your eyes you inhaled sharply as he laughed at your expression, “Speaking of…”

You felt your face flush as you flashed him a warning glance, focusing down on the floor as you continued to push all of the litter into a pile, “Were those new panties? I’ve never seen you in them before.”

“Jeon Jungkook!” You snapped out turning around, stomping your foot in embarrassment, your face bright red as your free hand curled into a fist making him laugh even harder, “I don’t wear all of my underwear at work!” In any other situation and setting, you were dully aware it would’ve been a weird statement, however you were in fact, strippers and that was a perfectly valid statement, you had come to appreciate wearing pretty panties and didn’t like showing all of the ones you owned off where you worked.

“Oh so you won’t mind showcasing those for me privately then?” Jungkook raised his brows, his smile cheeky as he leaned back on his feet making the scowl twist further on your face, he really did get on your nerves some days...“What’s with that look babydoll? Am I not allowed to be curious?”

Stomping your foot once more your lips quivered into a pout as you angrily swept the floor, “You aren’t curious, you’re shameless!” He really was and the fact that he knew it, even proudly flaunted it made you all the more embarrassed and angry.

Jungkook exasperatedly clacked his tongue as he propped himself up to sit on the edge of the stage, “Me shameless? You were the one that sent your cute little ass into a groupchat- who was it for?” You furrowed your brows at the sudden edge in his voice.

“What?” You turned around at his words, not expecting the abrupt question nor the slight change in his tone, leaning against the broom as Jungkook curved a brow, mildly annoyed as if he didn’t like having to go in more detail, “Who was it supposed to be for if you didn’t mean to send it into the chat?”

Your lips quivered into an even bigger pout, cheeks flushing as you turned back to the path you had created, flustered at just the idea of ever sending something like that to someone, “No one Jungkook. I just thought I looked cute yesterday morning, it wasn’t meant for anyone.” You weren’t sure if you were embarrassed at his question or your own answer. You didn’t have any booty calls like the rest of your friends and you weren’t sure if you even wanted any.

Leaning back against his hands Jungkook hummed, shoulders relaxing as he replied, “Feel free to send them to me babygirl, I’ll put them to good use.” Your nose wrinkled at his purred words, cheeks burning as your refused to glance at him.

“Jungkook,” he hummed as you finally turned around, unable to hide his grin at your quivering lips, big puppy eyes and red cheeks as you murmured, “Please shut the fuck up.”

~~~~~

You felt oddly well rested, taking in a big breath before nuzzling in closer to the mass of heat, legs tangled together and you loved when you woke up to your hair being played with just like today. Things felt too comfortable though.

You were well aware it was Jungkook who had accompanied you in bed, he insisted on staying the night and before you could even put up a fight he had crashed down on your bed, sprawled out with a sleepy smirk, the one he always wore when he was tired and ready to drown you in a warm cuddle you just couldn’t say no too.

Letting out a soft breath you shifted in his grip as you yawned, grabbing your phone before your eyes almost popped out of your head, “Jungkook it’s almost 9!” You were two hours late to practice and he just let you guys sleep in!? You had barely shot up before you were forcibly pulled back down, standing no match for the muscle pig that pulled you back against him, “Calm down baby, we got in late last night,” His voice was a note deeper and raspier against your ear setting an uncomfortable warmth between your thighs, “I figured you’d be happy to sleep in.”

“We didn’t get in any later then we usually do!” You huffed as you struggled to get out of his grip, Jungkook held you firmly though, not even looking affected by your efforts as he kept his eyes closed. In admist your struggling though you paused when he let out a small moan, “Fuck… would you stop that?”

That's when you felt the prominent hard line of his boner pressed snuggly against your ass making you let out a whine, trying to keep your thighs from rubbing together at the feeling as you whined, “Let me go! We need to go get ready for practice.”

“Five more minutes,” Jungkook replied, burying his face in your neck, “God I didn’t realize how much you enjoyed practice for as much as you complain.” You jumped at the feeling of his hips slowly grinding into yours.

You tensed as you bit your lip, arousal flooding your body as it stuck uncomfortably to your panties, “Stop rubbing your boner against me.” You huffed flusteredly, suddenly letting out a whine at his hips thrusting into yours, his deep sleepy moan in your ear.

Jungkook only wrapped his arms around you further, hands playing with the band of your sweat pants as he let his lips drag against your ear, “Take off your sweats.” You had already been turned on before, but hearing him command those words, sounding half asleep and that raspy tone working your body all on it’s own had made you quickly push them down, “Mmm good girl.” He inhaled against your neck as you whined, your panties embarrassingly wet as they clung to your folds, body unable to keep still as your ass nudged against his cock that throbbed in his own sweats, “Now take off your shirt.”

You let out a shaky breath, your cheeks on fire as you quickly obeyed, his arms letting go of you briefly as you pulled the material over your head, your tired gaze on the floor as the fabric of your comforter brushed against the skin of your breasts, “Ah fuck, such a good girl.” Jungkook praised, his eyes still shut as his hands roamed over your body, “Are you gonna be good for daddy?”

Your body burned with need as you whimpered a yes, his cock rubbed against the cheeks of your ass, You could feel Jungkook’s smirk on your skin before pulling you on top of him, “Then show daddy what a good girl you are and ride his thigh.”

You were straddled against his stomach, cheeks bright red as your nipples hardened, arousal soaking your panties as he cracked his eyes open, drinking up the sight before him as he let out a breathy laugh, “You’re already soaked babydoll. Look at those wet panties, such a messy baby.” He clacked his tongue as you dropped your chin down, staring at his chest as his hands squeezed against your sides, “They have to be uncomfortable against that pretty pussy, you wanna take them off?”

You didn’t think it was possibly to become anymore aroused, shaking your head he let out a laugh, grabbing your hips as he forced you into action, pulling between his thigh as he let out a soft moan, “Such a pretty baby, go on, make a big mess over daddy’s thigh I wanna see my baby cum.”

Letting out a breathy moan you placed your hands against his stomach, feeling it’s chiseled muscles tense beneath your fingers as you testingly rubbed your hips down his thighs, a sudden whimper escaping your lips at the feeling of your clit rubbing into his thigh, Jungkook ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, “Fuck you look so hot, such a needy baby, your cunts practically dripping.”

His filth instantly made your hips buck, any reservations you previously had gone as you harshly pressed your hips into his thigh, your clit rubbing in delicious friction between your panties and his sweats, a big wet spot quickly growing as you whimpered, “F-fuck- Daddy…!” You felt dirty for whimpering those words but your body only grew hotter as your orgasm quickly approached.

You nearly choked on your own spit when Jungkook’s hand came into sight, hand palming his hard, aching cock in his sweats as you whimpered, “What baby?” Jungkook let out a sadistic smile, “Want daddy’s cock?”

He watched your hips buck into his thigh faster, another high pitched moan escaping your lips as you nodded. Your lips parted as he pushed his sweats down just enough to release his swollen cock, it was so big his shaft was thick with a protruding vein, slightly curved and his bulbous head beaded with precum and was such a pretty shade of red.

You jumped out of your skin at the feeling of Jungkook’s hand entering your panties, nearly moaning as he palmed your clit, a cry escaping your throat as you whimpered, “Please daddy! I’ll be a good girl, please!”

Your juices messily spilled all over his hand, your hips pressing harsher into his palm to rub further against your needy clit as you leaned forward, tits bouncing and hair slanting view of your face as you whined, desperate for his cock to fill your aching body.

“Fuck thats hot.” Jungkook muttered, eyes fixated on your hips fluidly pleasuring yourself against him, you let out a loud whine as his fingers dragged up your soaked slit, teasing past your clit as you nearly cried out, “P-please! Fuck please!”

Instead of rubbing your clit like you had hoped he only used your arousal for his cock, grabbing it as he began to squeeze against his base, “You have to earn daddy’s cock, make me cum without doing anything and I’ll consider it for next time.”

Your eyes glossed at his words, ready to cry despite your hips rubbing for more friction, unable to take your eyes off his swollen cock that he held in his hand, pumping it at an eased paced that made you clench around nothing but the thought of his fat cock filling you up, “You said you were daddy’s good girl right?”

You threw your head down at his words, you thighs squeezing against his with a whine, Jungkook managed a breathy chuckle as he hummed, “Oh so you like being a good girl?” You let out a whine, your cheeks on fire as your orgasm began to build, “You like being told how much of a good girl you are for me, how well you ride daddy’s thigh? You gonna be a good baby and cum for daddy?”

His words were almost too much to bear, your hips beginning to stutter as pleasure began to bloom throughout your whole body, “F-fuck! I-I wanna be daddy’s good girl! I wanna make daddy’s cock feel so good, wanna be stuffed full and fucked until my pussy is dripping.” The words fumbled from your lips as your pace became more messy, pleasure suddenly twisting and snapping in your body as you cried out, “Mmm! Fuck me daddy! Please! Please! I need your cock so bad I want it splitting my pussy open and stuffing me full, please!”

You couldn’t keep the filth from pouring out of your mouth as you breathed heavily, crying out at the orgasm that snapped throughout your body, whimpering at the sharp twist of pleasure filtering through your body as you shakily held onto his stomach, barely registering Jungkook’s breathy moans, “Be a good little cockslut and stay still,” He suddenly growled making you whimper, obediently forcing your trembling body to lie still as he quickly pumped his shaft, his tip aiming at you, licking your quivering lips at his daunting bulbous tip aimed directly at you as you whimpered, “Pl-please just let me suck it, I’ll be daddy’s good girl and-and take it,”

Jungkook squeezed against his shaft, another moan escaping his mouth as he tucked his tongue into his cheek, dominance rolling off him in waves at the sight of you trying to keep still against his thigh, panties completely soaked with those pretty tits on display, it was your face that got him the most though, the way your cheeks burned bright red and your pupils blown out and eyes doe like, “I said: No, you fucking cockslut,”

You let out a quiet whine, eyes dropping back down submissively to his throbbing cock that he held with a tight grip, his palm roughly squeezing his head as he growled, “You haven’t earn the right to suck daddy’s cock. Now be a good girl and keep riding my thigh.”

“B-but...” Your body was so hypersensitive already your hips were trembling at just the idea, Jungkook used his free hand to suddenly strike your thigh making you give a loud yelp as he snarled, “Ride my thigh you slut, don’t make me repeat myself.” He bounced his thigh up to your aching core, making sure to hit your clit as you whimpered a moan, “If you can take daddy’s cock you can take daddy’s thigh.”

Letting out a shaky whine you obediently let your hips drag back down his thigh with a whimpered moan escaping your lips, “D-daddy it hurts.” Despite the oversensitivity your hips were quickly bucking further into his thigh, your clit throbbing in pain and pleasure as the need for his skin to be in contact with your clit burned in you harsher.

You cried out at his hand slapping over your thigh once more as he growled, “Then why are you still going huh? Don’t pretend like you don’t like using daddy’s thigh you slut,” His degradation was making your folds practically drip but you couldn’t feel an ounce of shame as you moaned, “Look at you getting off on daddy’s thigh while begging like a little whore for his cock, are you daddy’s little whore?”

You whimpered, nails dragging down his abdominal, having never been spoken to with so much degradation yet your body was begging for more as your face burned brighter, “I-I love being daddy’s whore, pl-please daddy,” You tugged at the band of his sweatpants that had been pulled past his hips.

Jungkook let the wide smirk pull on his lips, “Such an obedient baby, you wanna ride the skin of my thigh don’t you baby? Pull them down further.” You nearly jumped for joy at his permission as you quickly shifted to pull his sweats to his knees. What Jungkook hadn’t expected was you to pull your panties to the side before quickly lowering down to the warm skin of his thigh, letting out a long shaky moan in relief.

Jungkook nearly lost it in that moment, forcing his hand to stop to keep himself from cumming at the feeling of your dripping wet cunt split and dragging over his open thigh, now wet and messy covered in your juices, “Look at my needy baby,” He cooed out, voice finally relaxing as he let his throbbing cock rest on his stomach, “Such a good girl,” you let out a shaky moan, hips stuttering as you pressed your clit down against his warm skin, dragging it down his thigh as your slick arousal glistened against his tan skin, “Does babygirl need my fingers?”

He let out a breathy chuckle as you whimpered, “P-please daddy! I’ve - I've been so good!” hips quickly bucking into his thigh as he let his hand slide down making you whimper as he let his pads drag in little circles over your clit, “Mmm! F-fuck it-it hurts daddy.” Your lips quivered with a moan.

Jungkook only grabbed his cock with his free hand, pumping it with ease as he let out a breathy moan, “If you’re daddy’s good girl then cum again, be a greedy little cumslut for daddy and make a big mess over his thigh.” You let out a high pitched moan as his fingers dragged over your swollen little nub, finding it’s sweet spot as he pressed down into it, quickly letting his fingers pace pick up as he rubbed into it.

“Go on babygirl, cum on daddy's thigh, are you gonna be a good girl and hold still to take my cum?” He let a haughty smirk pull on his lips as you cried out, rapidly bucking into his hips as your thighs squeezed against his, your second orgasm nearly taking all of the energy out of you, every little touch of his thigh on your clit had you whining and whimpering as you tried to stay still, “Y-yes...I’m daddy’s good girl…”

Jungkook finally relaxed, letting out a deep, raspy moan as his orgasm finally broke inside him from your words, pleasuring streaming through his veins as the spurts of cum shot out covering your body in the pretty white substance, and you were such a good girl, staying still as he covered you in his cum. Jungkook pumped every last drop out, making sure it all splattered against you as you let out a soft whine.

Flecks of white covering those pretty red cheeks as your body trembled gently, your breaths shallow and refusing to meet his, “Mmm such a good girl,” You jumped a little at his hand that placed on your cheek softly, thumbing the cum away from your cheekbone, “Not bad for a little masturbation play. Come let me get something to clean you up with.”

Jungkook sat up, intending to go to the bathroom but paused at the sound of your soft whimper, wrapping your arms tightly around him as you buried into his nose, a little sniffle escaping you as you let out a small whine, “No! Please don’t go.”

“Baby I’m not going anywhere-” You let out a soft sob, legs wrapping around his waist, afraid he’d leave you just like he did all of his other one night stands even though the rational side of you knew that wasn’t the case, fear had took over as you held onto him as if he’d disappear.

Jungkook let out a soft hush as he wrapped his arms around you, “Shhh, I’m not going to leave babygirl.” He shifted to lay back down, letting you rest on his chest as you gently sobbed into his shoulder, little tears trickling down your cheeks at the idea as you held onto him tightly, “You were such a good girl for daddy, was I too rough?”

He sounded a little worried, Jungkook had experienced a lot of different reactions from both subs and littles after sex but to have one crying afterwards was not something he ever thought he’d experience and he definitely wasn’t sure if it was a good thing. You only let out a small sob as you shook your head, tightening your grip on him as you buried your nose into his neck.

Jungkook only soothed you, rubbing your back gently as he pressed small kisses into your kiss, “Shh, I’m not going anywhere babygirl. What’s wrong?” You only sniffled further, rapidly shaking your head as you nuzzled further against him. Letting out a soft sigh Jungkook pressed another kiss into your skin, soothingly rubbing the bright red mark on your thigh from his hand, his free hand tangling in your hair to stroke it as he held you close.

Eventually you came down from your high of sex, body no longer trembling and your cheeks still stained from tears yet all you felt was embarrassment, you had never had such an episode of fright after sex let alone one that would push you into tears, “We’re late…” You finally rasped weakly, and much to your surprise Jungkook snorted a laugh.

Hesitantly you propped yourself up on his chest, cheeks beginning to flush as he looked up at you, both amusement and haughtiness on his expression, hands gently rubbing against your back as he asked, “I’m sorry but you just bawled your eyes out for twenty minutes, and that’s your first concern after? Are you okay baby?” Your lips quivered into a pout as the concern that drew in his eyes, “Was the degradation too much? I should’ve probably asked first, some girls get extremely turned off by that- or was it the spanking-”

“Jungkook,” You cut him off, rubbing the sticky cum from your cheeks as you shyly shifted off of him, curling your knees up to your chest, “I’m fine, if I didn’t like anything I would’ve told you, I just...I don’t know why I cried okay? I just....” your cheeks burned heavily as your lips trembled once more, “I don't know!”

Jungkook gave a soft laugh, sitting up as he tucked his members back into the confines of his boxers before fixing his sweatpants, “Alright baby, no need to be so defensive, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt you. Unless you’re just upset I didn’t actually fuck you? If that’s the case then just give me ten minutes I-”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” He laughed even louder as you pressed your hands into your ears with a whine, standing up as you waddled to the bathroom, to get a washcloth, “Like I said, we’re late!”

Jungkook groaned as he stretched out, following you inside the bathroom before casually shrugging, “Oh yeah forgot to mention practice got cancelled today,”

“What!?” You hissed out, whipping around to glare at him, he couldn’t have told you that before he whipped his dick out!? You glowered sulkily, making him laugh as he ruffled your hair making you stomp your foot, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jungkook began fiddling with the knobs of the shower, brows pressing together a little in confusion as he tested the water with his hand, “Well you didn’t give me a chance babygirl, y’know if you just said fuck off when I told you to take off your sweats I probably would’ve told you then.”

Your lips tugged into an angry pout as you glared at his broad, muscular back that was revealed as he pulled the shirt over his head, your mouth suddenly gaping as your cheeks flared, “What…! What do you think you’re doing!?”

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, glancing over his shoulder as he let the half smirk curl on his lips, “Showering?” if he had told you to get on your knees that very second, without a doubt, you would’ve did as told. The idea made your own knees weak as he ran his hand under the water once more, “You practically covered me in cum, kinda gross to be honest.”

You gaped like a fish before stomping your foot making him laugh as you pointed an accusing finger at him, “You…! You were the one who covered me in cum!”

You couldn’t even hold your ground though as Jungkook strode towards you, suddenly hauling you up by the thighs as he set you on the bathroom counter, “Oh hush you were the one who was practically begging to suck my dick. On god, I’ve never seen a girl look so happy to be covered in cum,” you whined for him to stop, feeling your cheeks flush at the chaste kiss he pecked on your neck, grabbing at the band of your panties before pulling them off in one swift motion.

Embarrassed you squeezed your thighs together, still hypersensitive and cautious making him pat the side of your thigh, “You’re so adorable,” your lips pulled into a big angry pout once more at his finger that bopped your nose, his eyes crinkled slightly with a smile, “Now come on let’s get showered, Namjoon wanted to talk to you at the hospital, it’s pretty important.”

You furrowed your brows at his words, tilting your head before nodding, hopping off the counter as you waddled into the shower, ignoring the arousal that slid down your thighs. Not before complaining about how hot the water was, “What’s it about?”

“Ah…” Jungkook gave a hum, pulling off the rest of his clothes before he shrugged, “It’d be easier to just let him do the talking,” He stepped into the shower with you, being in such close proximity of him made you slightly sheepish as you curled against yourself.

Feeling arms wrap around your waist you let out a soft whine as Jungkook nudged his nose into the crook of your neck, “Hush, I see you nearly naked every day. Now let me take care of my baby.” your cheeks had to be rosey at his words but you weren’t about to stop him when his fingers massaged into your scalp. Exhaling softly you finally leaned into his touch as your muscles relaxed, you had to admit, this was nice.

~~~~~

“What?” You were sure if you had even heard Namjoon right, everyone sat around in chairs, he looked definitely hungover and in an itchy looking hospital gown, hair ruffled and his foot wrapped in a splint. He had definitely seen better days and in light of the situation you could tell no one was going to let him live this down.

Namjoon couldn’t help but give a soft laugh at your shock expression as he explained, “I have a hairline fracture in my ankle, Doc said it might take up to 8 weeks to heal and given how much I’m scheduled at Cherry Bomb for this and next week, we really can’t afford to have gaps in the shows,”

“And trying to throw a shit ton of choreography at the girls would be a nightmare,” Jungkook chimed in, arm loosely draped around your shoulders, “Not to mention taxing for us.”

You could understand where they were coming from but still couldn’t quite believe the situation, almost surreal and any other girls dream come true. Or strippers dream come true.

Namjoon nodded in agreement with him as he directed his gaze back at you, “It’s up to you of course, but I think you’re ready. And it’s only temporary, just for the next few weeks so we have time to get the girls put on for extra dances.”

You nibbled on your lip, fidgeting with your fingers as you frowned, “Are you sure you don’t want someone else to do it?” This was a big leap from just being a trainee and you knew for a fact, there was a lot of other girls who’d probably do a better job than you, not to mention you’d be given shit from absolutely everyone within the next few weeks if you took this on.

Namjoon only smiled encouragingly, “No I’m pretty sure I want you to take my place Y/n, you’ll do just fine. Beside’s like I said, it’s only temporary and it’ll be good experience under your belt.”

The moment felt so surreal to hear, Namjoon really thought you’d be able to pull it off as a temporary soloist, swallowing thickly you finally gave a bashful smile, “Well, it's not like I can really say no, where do I begin?”

Letting his hand drop to your waist Jungkook gave it a squeeze as he gave you a confident smile, “You’ll wanna find some music first, soloist’s choose their costumes, choreography and music so you have your work cut out for you baby, if you need any help you know I’ll be there. Better get to work.”

~~~~~~

Note: Whew boy, tumblr headass was about to die with how much I shoved into this chapter, nearly spazzed at all of the images too LMAO. Anyways sorry for such a long wait loves I hope it was worth it! I’m extremely excited for next chapter!! Things get....interesting :)

Taglist: @loveherpersona @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @jungkookies-golden-noona @ironically-indifferent96 @epiphany-playingwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13 @134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjikook @repeating-seesaw-game @serendipity-secrets @kimvantaee @forevermoremagcon @timestandstillalittle @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl @blxckeffect @egyptianwitchbutwithab @kimcheeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass @caitlinmarieeblossom @bokuandcoconutsarelife @desires-ss @jishookedout134 @369girlswannadrinkwine @flowingwiththewater @w-ing-ss @rjsmochii @lovethatforme97 @bunnyboyenthusiast @adelina1299 @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @namjoonies-dimple @rubydotexe @keyaqua123 @kai1697jeon @mochibabycakes @min-chimchim03

(Let me know if you’d like to be added! We still have a few spots left!)

#bts #bangtan #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook smut #jungkook x y/n #bts series #jungkook series #bts au

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deliberatelyvague · 4 years

Text

Avoidance (belphegor x gn!reader)

Started: April 5, 2020 at 4:02pm

Ended: April 5, 2020 at 5:01pm

Word Count: 1,714

Ships: [Belphegor x gn!reader]

Trigger Warning: self harm (cutting), [social] anxiety, anxiety in general, possibly OOC belphegor

Author’s Note: this was a request!! Thank you for the request, I’m more than happy to write them.

Request: Okay,,,hey,, If it would be alright would you maybe write a Belphie x selfharm reader who is like shy and has social anxiety,,? If not that's alright!,, Hope ya have a good day/night.

—————-

You hated that you always resorted back to this blade. The blade that you had for some reason been carrying on you when you entered the Devildom, so the only thing other than the clothes on your back that you had from the Human Realm.

You hadn’t even been planning on using it that day from your recollection, but your anxiety had been spiked for many reasons.

You didn’t have time to prepare to meet new people, and in result had a lot of issues adjusting to your new surroundings. You had grown used to them eventually, even becoming close friends with most of the people in the Devildom. You had your eyes set on one of the brothers for a while, and he eventually caught on and you went on a date, which included you both taking naps while watching a movie. The past few months have been amazing in your life.

So, why had you once again resorted to harming yourself? It was pretty simple. Your anxiety had piqued for no reason, or not any that you could come up with.

Maybe it was the stress of school, maybe it was your boyfriend showing you less attention? Wait, that was it.

Belphegor has been avoiding you for a few days now, which made you feel like you did something wrong. You knew that you should confront him about it, but your personality made it so that you avoided confrontation as much as you could.

So at nights you didn’t have Belphegor to comfort you when you got lost in your thoughts, so you ended up curled up in your bathroom, a blanket wrapped around you in the bathtub and crimson soaked blade in you hand as your other tried to catch the blood before it hit the tub.

You watched as the blood formed into droplets before being pulled down by gravity to the bottom of the tub. You had left the bathroom door opened but locked your actual bedroom door, to keep people out.

You watched as the few cuts you had on your wrist coagulated and you pushed yourself out of the tub, rinsing off and washing your wounds and hands before putting a few bandaids that you had pushed to the back of your cabinet on them. You noted that you needed to buy more gauze next time you could, and that opportunity presented itself quickly.

“[Y/N], I need to go to the store to restock the kitchen. Would you like to go with me?” You hear Satan’s voice call through the door after he knocked.

“Oh, uh, yeah! I’d like to go, hold on a second please,” you called back to him and quickly pulled on one of Belphegor’s hoodies that you had stolen when he slept in your room the last time.

You took in a deep breath and opened the door, greeted with a smiling Satan.

“Did Beel eat everything again, or..?” You asked, shoving your hands in the pocket and gazing down at the floor.

“No, surprisingly, I’d noticed that you had been acting a little off, so I decided that I would cook one of your favorite meals tonight. We didn’t have enough of a few things, so I figured I might at well go to the store. And it’s no fun going alone.”

You stopped and shook your head.

“Satan, you don’t need to make me a meal, I’m fine. It’s probably just hormonal changes,” you assure him, and he shakes his head.

“I want to, and even if it is hormones, now I’m craving [favorite meal], so I’m going to make it.”

You didn’t stop him but you sped up your pace a little bit to catch up to him.

“I also need to grab a few things if that’s alright.”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.”

You felt a pair of eyes on you before you closed the gate to the House, but when you looked at the doorway and the windows you didn’t see anything.

On the way to the store you stayed close to Satan, but not close enough to make him uncomfortable, hopefully. He didn’t seem to mind at least, and it made you feel comforted knowing that if anything happened he wouldn’t let you get very hurt.

You went into the store with him and as he grabbed a few vegetables you thought you would try to show your disorder who’s boss and get your bandages without needing someone there with you.

As you were looking over the packages and seeing what the best deal was (was it the two rolls for 50 Grimm, one roll for 30 Grimm, or maybe the ten rolls for 200 Grimm?), you heard an unfamiliar voice next to you, asking you a question.

Your pulse quickened as you looked over, and there stood a demon, with an arrogant look on their face.

“What?” You asked them, palming the ten rolls of gauze.

“Aren’t you that human exchange student? Man you’re a little thing.”

You nodded, not looking then in the face before turning away. You felt their hand grip your wrist, and you winced, feeling the bandaids tear at your healing cuts, and you were horrified when you felt a warm liquid drip down onto your hand.

They seemed to notice the blood and sink their claws in more, ripping the sleeve of the hoodie to show the bleeding cuts and the fresh ones made from the claws.

“P-please don’t touch me,” you tried to order them, trying to get your wrist out of their grip, but they pulled you toward them, making you land on their chest.

Tears sprang to your eyes as you tried to push off of them. Why was no one helping you? Where was Satan, you had been gone for a while now, and he knows about your issues, so where was he? Where was anyone?

“No, little dove, I think I’ll keep you for a tasty treat tonight. It’s been so long since I had a human, and one as succulent as you should last me awhile.”

No one was showing up, Satan probably left you. It’s probably for the best, with how needy and clingy you were, that was probably his plan all along. All of the brothers probably agreed, then that means Diavolo had agreed because if not Lucifer would have told them not to and would have punished them for even bringing up that idea.

“N-no! Please, someone help! Please,” you called out, and suddenly the demon was thrown off of you and you were cradled into a chest, your eyes adjusting to the navy blue and cow print and you took a deep breath in, breathing the scent of your lover.

“Belphie,” you whimpered out, cringing to him, and he put his hand on the back of your head, stroking lightly on your hair.

“Let’s go home,” he spoke, and started leading you out of the store, placing another hand on the small of your back.

“B-but the gauze-”

“I have some in my bathroom, Cub,” he soothed. “Satan can deal with the poor excuse for a demon in there.”

The walk home was silent other than your shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. The blood hadn’t stopped running down your hand, attracting attention but the attention was immediately turned away when Belphie sent them a glare that could probably scare Lucifer.

Belphie led you up to his room, making you sit on the desk on his side of his and Beel’s room before leaving to your room, coming back minutes later and going to his bathroom. He came back with ointment and gauze, placing both those things down and also placing another object down. It gleamed in the light, and you let out a sharp breath.

“Belphie, I’m s-”

“Cub, I don’t want to hear your apologies. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he soothed as he dressed your cuts, both older and fresh, and pulled you to be standing. “Come with me, please.”

He picked up the blade and took your other hand, leading you to his bathroom.

“This is the only blade I found, is this the only one you have?” You nodded. “Use your words, Cub.”

“Yes, that’s the only one I have.”

“Okay,” he handed you the blade. “Flush it down the toilet.”

“What?”

“Flush it down the toilet, I don’t want it to be in any place to tempt you. Please, Cub. I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore.”

You looked back and forth between him and the toilet, before dropping the blade in the toilet and flushing it.

“That’s going to ruin the pipes,” you try to joke, but Belphie shrugged.

“That’s Lucifer’s problem.”

“I don’t think it’s only his problem.”

Belphie dragged you to his bed, laying down and bringing you to rest beside his chest.

“I don’t expect you to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable, but I’m here to talk anytime you want to, you know that, right Cub?”

“Yeah, I guess. I just felt like you were avoiding me, and it made me anxious.”

He let out a shaky breath and brought you closer to him.

“I’m sorry, Cub. Lucifer had been making me mad, and I just needed a little space from people.”

You giggle a little at that and look up at him with tired eyes.

“I love you,” you told him, and he smiled and brought you up to his face, connecting his lips with yours, and you laid your hands on his chest before separating.

“I love you too, Cub.”

You two laid in bed for a little while longer, both your breathing eventually becoming one as you both fell asleep holding each other.

————

This was written by me in no way trying to romanticize mental illnesses. I try to write what I feel would help me in the moment. I completely understand that mental illnesses don’t just ‘disappear’ when you’ve figured out that someone loves you or someone helps you once- that’s why I don’t write what happens after in most cases. If you are struggling, please reach out to anyone you trust, or call a hotline.

#obey me oneshots #obey me #obey me imagines #obeymeoneshots #obeymeimagines #obey me x reader #obeymexreader #belphegorxreader #belphegor x reader #shall we date #shall we date belphie #shall we date belphegor #belphegor imagines #belphie x reader #belphiexreader #belphegor oneshot #satan #obey me belphegor

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bijvoorbeeldja · 4 years

Text

Swimmer!Sander Epilogue

by request of @frencheliott, a Swimmer Sander epilogue! It gets cheesy reallllll fast. Buckle up.

............

Robbe was so nervous he could not sit still.

He sat anxiously biting his nails as his legs bounced rapidly, making resonant vibrations through the row he was sitting in. He tried to calm his nerves and steady his breathing, but as soon as he let out a deep exhale, his limbs would get antsy again, resuming their shaking. If he hadn’t been in the stands, staring at the ginormous pool from yards away, you’d have thought Robbe was competing in the Olympics himself, instead of his boyfriend.

Sander had been training to represent Belgium in the Olympics nearly his whole life, and it made Robbe nauseous to think that his years of hard work all came down to only a few minutes. He was so proud of all the work that Sander had done to get here, so he didn’t think he’d be able to bear it if he left the arena without a medal around his neck.

The past two years had been especially demanding for Sander — and for Robbe. Sander had doubled-up on training, meaning that the two saw each other less and less. But Robbe didn’t complain. He desperately wanted Sander to reach his goals, to receive the reward for all of his hard work. And so he’d come to his practices and meets between his university classes, studied up on the necessary nutrition demands for Sander’s training and kept their fridge stocked with the right foods, and massaged his tired muscles after long practices. Robbe would wait up for him to come after he traveled for competitions, welcoming him home with a warm bath, a hot meal, and lots of I’ve-missed-you kisses. He’d hold him in bed after a training setback or a loss at a meet.

More than once, while they were lying in bed together at night, Sander’s eyes heavy with exhaustion, Robbe would feel dampness on their pillows, only to find Sander crying.

“I just don’t know if this is all worth it,” Sander would weep, not bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I’m so tired and I miss you and I don’t know if I can do this.”

Robbe pulled Sander closer, snuggling into his chest. His heart ached to see how hard Sander was working, how much stress he was putting on his body and mind. But he knew Sander.

“I know, Sander,” Robbe would say gently. “I know this is all so hard right now. But you are working so hard and soon, all of that hard work and effort and struggle will be worth it. You are doing so well. Don’t give up now. I’m here for you.”

Then, Robbe’s calm, soothing voice would stop Sander’s tears and he’d fall asleep, his breath even and deep. Robbe knew it was hard on Sander. It had been hard on him, too. He’d been trying to be the best support system to Sander, while juggling a full course load of university classes and regular visits to check on his mom, who had slowly been getting better the past year or two.

Robbe wanted to be a good caretaker, and he shouldered the responsibility without malice or resentment. He felt such deep love for the people in his life, and their happiness and well-being was his happiness and well-being.

But he had to admit, at times, it was tiring. He’d stay up late into the night, using a weak table lamp to do his homework at the kitchen table so he wouldn’t disturb Sander’s all-too-crucial sleep. He’d sometimes forget a meal and only remember to feed himself when his violent stomach rumbles would interrupt his studying. He felt so much second-hand anxiety at Sander’s meets and training sessions that he’d had to start visiting his therapist regularly again. He’d ached for the loss of the free time he and Sander had had when they first started dating two years ago, the long, uninterrupted Sundays they’d spent exploring each other in bed or going out to their favorite bar. Most days, Sander was too exhausted for sex, and too busy for dates. But Robbe wouldn’t complain. Even with all the heavy load, which only intensified when Sander qualified for the Olympics, Robbe was happier than he’d ever been. His life was good.

…..

The announcer overhead interrupted Robbe’s reverie, pulling him back to the present in a fresh wave of anxiety. Sander’s first race was starting soon and he strained through the crowds on the deck surrounding the pool to find his love.

Because the excessive chlorine had begun turning Sander’s bleached hair green, he’d returned to his natural brunette hair last year, making it harder for Robbe to find him in a crowd. But with his naturally tan skin and sculpted body, Robbe was still as smitten as ever. He’d never get over the way Sander laughed, or the gentle, yet passionate ways he’d touch Robbe in quiet moments. He had found the love of his life, the man of his dreams, and no amount of trial or difficulty or nervousness would keep him from standing right by his side for the rest of his life.

Robbe finally spotted Sander near one of the lanes, adjusting his swim cap, gaze laser-focused as he conversed with his coach. He tapped the arm of the woman next to him — Sander’s mom — and pointed out her son. She smiled at Robbe and grabbed his hand, squeezing tightly. They watched as Sander nodded at his coach’s words, shaking out his arms and legs, getting loose. Robbe watched him briefly look up to the crowds, scanning as if trying to find Robbe amidst the hundreds of thousands of people.

Robbe willed Sander’s eyes to find him, but his gaze scanned over the crowd futilely before returning to his coach’s attention.

I’m here, Robbe repeated in his mind, hoping Sander would feel the energy he was directing towards him. You can do this.

Finally, another announcement was made and a shrill alarm sounded, signaling that the race’s start was mere moments away. Robbe wrung his hands as he watched Sander roll his shoulders and neck, stretching one last time. Sander’s coach whispered one last time in his ear before slapping him on the shoulders and retreating to his spot behind him on the sidelines.

Sander mounted the block, his muscles taut and gaze intense. Robbe held his breath. The sounding signal started and Robbe’s heart nearly stopped as he watched Sander dive into the water.

……

Sander had won. Sander had won.

No matter how many times he repeated it in his mind, it still seemed surreal.

Sander had come in first place for Belgium in the 800 m freestyle and third place in the 200 m backstroke, earning himself medals that were tangible, well-deserved rewards for so many years of hard work.

Robbe had cried, his voice hoarse and sore from screaming as he watched Sander reach the finish line, emerging from the water breathless and triumphant. Robbe jumped up and down, the feeling rushing through him electric and euphoric. He threw his arms around Sander’s parents, squeezing them tightly in a group hug. Everyone was crying.

The tears didn’t stop as Sander was led to the pool’s edges to do interviews, smiling widely as he commented on his wins and shook water from his hair. The camera men had even found Sander’s parents and Robbe for a moment, highlighting them cheering as celebrations for Belgium ensued. Robbe had blushed, embarrassed at the attention, but blew a kiss he knew Sander could see on the large TV screens around the arena. They continued to sob together during the award ceremony, holding each other tightly as they watched an official place the medals around Sander’s neck. He stood beaming, smiling so wide he was practically glowing.

After the race, Robbe watched as Sander retreated to the locker rooms. Robbe and Sander’s parents followed the crowds spilling out of the arena, retreating to their hotel. Sander had hours of interviews and post-race physical therapy before he could meet up with Robbe and his family, so Robbe celebrated with Sander’s parents for a while, excitedly talking nonstop, feeling light and exhilarated by the day’s events. It made Robbe tear up at how proud Sander’s parents were of him — he felt so lucky to be able to join with them in their shared love for him.

Finally, Sander’s parents grew tired, the day’s anxiety and resulting excitement taking their toll. They retreated to their hotel room, giving Robbe tight hugs and making him promise to send Sander their way once they’d had their time together.

“And Robbe,” Sander’s mom had said, stopping before she retreated to her room. “Thank you.”

“Thank you? For what?” Robbe asked, confused.

She smiled, a genuine gratefulness lighting up her face.

“You are, by far, the best thing that has happened to Sander,” she said gently. “He would not have gotten here, accomplished what he has, without you. I know the last few years couldn’t have been easy on you two — what with his training and lifestyle — but you have completely changed his life. He is so lucky to have you. Thank you for loving him. Know that we love you, too, almost as much as he does.” She smiled again.

Robbe blushed at her words, giving her hand one last squeeze. “I love him so much, Mrs. Driesen. And you two, of course.” Robbe blinked away tears as he watched them go.

….

Robbe was so tired, he felt like even his bones were weary, but he was not going to fall asleep until he had Sander in his arms. An hour before, he’d gotten a text from him:

Sander: So sorry. The interviews took longer than I thought. But I’ve got my stuff and I am heading for you ASAP!

Robbe had smiled, so excited to hold his love. But thinking of Sander’s parents, he texted back:

Robbe: I cannot WAIT to see you, my champion. I am counting the seconds. Stop by and see your parents before you get here — they are so proud of you and want to see you, too. I can be patient. ;-)

So Robbe waited, impatiently pacing his hotel room as he replayed Sander’s wins in his mind, a smile never leaving his face.

Another hour passed, then a knock. Robbe rushed to the door, whipping it open. With fluffy hair and tired eyes, there stood his boyfriend, medals around his neck, dark circles around his eyes but smiling wide. Robbe didn’t wait for Sander to enter, or even speak, instead immediately throwing his arms around Sander.

Sander chuckled, but only softly before squeezing Robbe back tightly, then pulling back slightly to pepper him with a shower of kisses.

“Sander!” Robbe squealed out between kisses. “You did it! You medaled! I am so proud of you I can barely stand it!” He squeezed Sander again, tucking himself into Sander’s chest.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, Robbe,” Sander said, whispering into Robbe’s hair. “I can’t believe we’re here.” Tears spilled out of Robbe’s eyes and Sander lifted him gently by the waist, carrying him to the bed. Laying him down gently, Sander hovered over him, crawling between his limbs. Leaving a soft trail of kisses along Robbe’s jaw, he stopped at his ear and whispered.

“I love you so much, Robbe.”

……

Robbe didn’t want to push Sander, he knew how intense and exhausting the day had been — in every way. But when Sander began kissing him urgently, with an intense need, Robbe couldn’t help but whimper, melting into Sander’s touches. At the sound, Sander pulled back, looking into Robbe’s eyes, a brief look of shame crossing his face.

“What is it?” Robbe asked, eyes fluttering open. “Are you okay?”

Sander stroked a thumb along Robbe’s cheek, tears welling in his eyes.

“I am so sorry, Robbe,” Sander said, looking down, the pooled-up tears finally spilling out. Robbe immediately sat up, reaching out for Sander’s arm.

“What’s wrong, Sander?” Robbe looked concerned, searching Sander’s face for an explanation. “It’s okay, we don’t have to--”

Sander grabbed Robbe’s hand, holding it in his.

“I am so happy to have made it here, to have competed and won,” Sander said, words tumbling out in near-sobs. “But I have put you through so much these past few years and I—” he choked, stopping to wipe at his eyes.

“Sander, don’t—” Robbe said, caressing Sander’s cheek, wet with tears. “You didn’t put me through anything. I am so proud of you, and I love you. I would do anything to help you reach your dreams. To make you happy.”

“Stop it, Robbe,” Sander said, looking down and shaking his head. “I know the last two years have been so hard for you. They’ve been tough for me, but even tougher for you. And I can see that...I’ve denied you so much, that I’ve...neglected you.”

“Neglected me?” Robbe said, scoffing. “You’ve been preparing for this moment — a huge, important moment. And it paid off! Your success is my success, okay? I’m so happy.”

Robbe laid back down on the bed, pulling Sander on top of him. “I’m so happy,” he repeated.

Feeling the genuine love in Robbe’s eyes, Sander surged forward, meeting Robbe in a fierce kiss.

…..

Robbe awoke stiff and groggy, but the happiest he’d ever been. He was sure the last 24 hours had been some fantastic dream, and now he had to wake and face reality. But when he looked over and Sander was sleeping like an angel beside him, his breathing deep and peaceful, he felt like the happiness would burst out of him.

Sander was supposed to be staying at the hotel designated for athletes across the city, but feeling generous after his wins, his coach had covered for him, allowing him to spend the night wrapped up in Robbe’s embrace. After they had desperately kissed, their eager touches turning into the most passionate and pleasurable of love-making, they both fell asleep in bliss, waking in the middle of the night to do it all again, so desperate for each other’s touch after so much time apart.

Now, Sander was stirring, his eyes fluttering open and smiling when he felt Robbe’s gaze on him.

“Good morning, my champion,” Robbe said, snuggling back into him and stroking his cheek with a thumb. “How are you feeling today?”

Sander growled, tackling Robbe onto his back and diving down to nip at the skin of his neck, making Robbe squirm in a fit of giggles.

He pulled back only slightly, brushing his nose with Robbe’s.

“Should I order food?” Sander asked, following it with a kiss to Robbe’s lips. “I am starving.”

“Me, too,” Robbe said, biting his lip. “Starving.” Sander raised his eyebrows, the corners of his lips lifting in a smile before running a hand up Robbe’s thigh.

“Well, in that case,” Sander said. “I can’t have my boy going hungry, can I?”

….

The sat facing each other on the bed, shirtless, feeding each other bites of breakfast as they laughed and Sander recounting every second of his races to Robbe, who listened enraptured.

“You really did it, Sander,” Robbe said, leaning over to give him a kiss. “You are an Olympic medalist! Gosh, how hot is it that I’m dating an Olympic medalist?! Wow.”

Sander laughed at this, but only for a second before jumping off the bed to rifle through his bag.

Concealing something in his fist, he returned to the bed, smiling wide.

“What?” Robbe asked, taking a sip of juice. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“I don’t know, I’m happy,” Sander said, shrugging. “And I like hearing you call me hot.”

Robbe laughed. “Well, it’s true,” Robbe said. “Anyone would love to have an Olympic medalist in their bed. Especially one as sexy as you.”

“Well,” Sander said, sitting up and clearing his throat. “Would they like to be married to one?”

Robbe choked on his last bite, a laugh turning into a cough. “What?”

“I said,” Sander said, shifting to his knees on the bed, his voice serious. “Would anyone like to be married to such a person?”

Robbe’s mouth dropped open as Sander opened his palm, revealing a silver band.

“Sander….” Robbe said, his breath becoming rapid, shallow. “What are you—”

“Robbe IJzermans,” Sander said, a face-consuming smile lighting up his face. “I am so in love with you. I bought this ring a year after our first swimming lesson. I’ve wanted to ask you this every day after. Will you marry me?”

“Sander,” Robbe gasped, tears welling in his eyes. “You want to marry me?”

“More than anything.”

“Well, then give me that ring!” Robbe said, laughing as the tears fell. “Of course I will marry you.”

In just a few hours, Sander had to be back with his teammates, with his coach, back in the world of chlorine and interviews and ceremonies. But for now, the two wept together, smiling and kissing through wet eyelashes. And in that moment, Robbe had never been so grateful for that tall, blonde boy who had offered to teach him to swim.

#wtfock #wtfock fanfic #swimmer sander #sobbe fanfic #DO YOU HAVE CAVITIES FROM THE SWEETNESS?#epilogue #two fics in one day? WHO AM I

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growingingreenwood · 4 years

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Hey I start college this week any advice? Hope all is well you are amazing!

Omg good job!! That's so exciting!!!! Alrighty, I have a bachelor’s degree and now i'm working on my Rec Therapy Degree so I’ve had like 5 and a half years of college/university experience so hopefully at least something here will be helpful for you.

What are you going to collage to take?

One- Try to sit in the front of of the lecture hall

Classes will probably be a lot bigger than you’re used to and many people find this intimidating. I used to sit at the very back of lecture halls because I hated having to walk past rows of people, but you know what? My grades suffered for it. I’m an easily distracted human being with crippling ADHD and so being able to see everybody's computer screen was a nightmare for me. Half the class was watching movies or playing games or whatever so I didn't hear a damn word my teacher said. The closer I was to the front, the less distracting it was for me. Plus, I find that when I’m more familiar with being closer to my teachers it's easier and less intimidating for me to ask them for help or to re-explain things.

Two- Don’t be embarrassed, everybodys a mess and other people have your question.

The colleges I’ve been to have been nothing like highschool. We’re all in this together, we’re a suffering squad okay. So if you're too tired to ‘look good’ SICK half your class probably has not showered in like five days. Have a question that you think might make sound dumb? I can literally assure you that other people have the same question and pray somebody else will ask it. All of you are confused, it's okay.

Three - BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS USED!!!!!

Oh my god I cannot stress this enough. For some reason professores and schools are out here hustling textbooks like starving soundcloud rappers. We don’t need that shit. Your school probably has a facebook group or two where students are selling their old textbooks much cheaper than you could get them in bookstores. And when I mean cheaper, I mean by like 100 - 200 dollars. If you're on a physical campus, lots of people put lists of what books they're selling on their lockers so keep an eye out for flyers as well.

Four - Join a club!

One of the things I really love about college is all the low pressure social situations. There's literally tons of clubs at most universities rankings from really open (First Year Social Club!!) to ridiuclously niche (We All Play Super Smash Brothers In Full Costume Once A Month) so its a great place to start when it comes to making new friends and finding some cool stuff to do!

Five - Don’t fall for the ‘too cool’ trap.

Lots of people have endless fun in college (like me) and some people really, really hate it. Personally, I think it has a lot to do with your attitude about being there. There's tons of pep rallies, carnivals, festivals and whatever else held by your school that can actually be super fun to attend but many people think they're ‘too cool’ for things like that. Don’t fall into this trap, I can assure you those that went to the events had like 9 billion times more fun.

Six - ASK FOR THE HELP THAT YOU NEED

This lesson took me so long to learn, but it was life changing once I did learn it. There's tons of resources available to you though most universities, and most of it was probably paid for through your tuition so it makes no sense to NOT access these things. See what your school offers for counseling services, stress reduction, learning activities held in the library, financial aid, make use of your teachers office hours, things like that. Crawl through your school’s website and see what they have to offer you, you can get some really really good life advice sometimes. If you’re falling behind in school work and need an extension, ask for it. Literally the worst thing that can happen is your teacher telling you ‘no.’ Which, honestly, in my near six years of schooling has literally only happened once and it was because the teacher personally didn’t like me.

Seven -- C’s Get Degrees

School Burnout Is REAL, she is sneaky, and she will hit you when you least expect it. I really struggle with having too high of expectations of myself when it comes to my work/life balance. This is the only year that I haven't worked at least 20 hours a week on top of full time university education and that only because of COVID and my immune issues, however for some reason I always expect myself to do like 3 - 4 hours of homework a day. Which is lunacy. At least it is for me. I literally cannot even count how many times I’ve put my grades before my physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental wellbeing. How many times I’ve forced myself to keep studying when I knew that I had already surpassed my limit hours ago because I thought that getting an A was more important than anything else. Especially myself. That’s not true.

You weren’t put on this earth to get straight A’s, you were put on this earth to be the best you that you can be.

So sometimes, you really do just gotta accept that ‘C’s get Degrees’ and you gotta close your textbook, go paint your nails, call your friend, and go to bed.

Eight -- Everything Can Be A Learning Experience

There are endless things to learn at college, and most of them aren't what the teachers are telling you. College is where I first learned that it really isn’t the end of the world to fail sometimes. It happens, it happens to everyone, but there's always something to learn from every ‘failure’ and part of it is how you can better handle failures in the future. It teaches you how to work with people, share ideas, and grow in your self-confidence. If you take the time to self-reflect when you find yourself struggling in aspects of your life in college, you can really learn a lot about yourself and how you present.

It was through self-reflecting on some of my peer interactions that I realized my vocabulary was creating a rift between me and them, as several people as it as a way of me purposefully trying to make myself seem ‘better’ or ‘more educated’ when in reality I just forget a lot of simple words and end up using some ridiculous monstrosity in casual sentences. The more I made that known about myself in interactions, and mentioning how much I read, helped my interactions because it helped people to better understand WHY I speak that way. This lesson has continued to help me throughout my life.

Nine -- Missing Lectures is a Slippery Slope

My attendance rate was already a lost cause by the time I got to University (my highschool almost didn't let me graduate because I had an 87% absentee rate and something like 300 missed detentions but I was 1 of 3 Full Honors Students and they wanted the funding so they ecentually let me lol) but I have watched many a student crawl into this 'Chronic Skipping' pit with me in my years. Im not really sure why it happens, but basically as soon as you miss 2 lectures for no concrete reason (like a dentist appointment or cause your sick or something) it's game over for you. You'll miss two classes, then three, then four, then 2 a week, then 3 a week. Then you start skipping other subjects too. Then you end up like me and suddenly its the end of the term and you realize you've only attended 4 entire classes, one of which was the first day and the other 3 were exams. (True story, that was my 8am Political Science Class in my second year)

I hope this helps somewhat!!!! Let me know if you have any specific questions!

And thank you lovely, I’m chugging along doing my best trying to get back into my creative bubble which for some reason seems to be rather elusive and hard to track down thus far.

#not tolkien #momma tolkien #tolkien mom things #collage tips #tips for collage #tips for university #answered asks #haleigh speaks

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hearthandhomemagick · 3 years

Text

Cottage Witch Journal Entry

I have a longing for Tennessee.

I have a pure, unadulterated and wild attraction to the Tennessee Mountains. This is a dream I’ve had, and a yearning I’ve felt, for years. A need to be hidden deep in the mountains in a tiny cottage/cabin of sorts. I’m sure this is an affinity very popular in mainstream culture today, and all I can think of when I hear people say they want a cottage or cabin in the mountains is, “How the Hell does everyone expect to FIT on these mountains?!” But, this is my Shadow Self, the over realistic and overthinking side of myself. And I easily get discouraged from my own wants thinking of others wants.

This is a side of me to notice in myself. I need to be able to move past thoughts of, “If everyone wants it, I’ll never have it.” and move forward with thoughts of, “This is something I want for myself, and I deserve to work hard for it.” And that’s a goal I have with myself.

You see, this post isn’t just about my want to be in Tennessee in the woods, it’s much deeper than that I feel. It’s about improvement and wanting to grow.

I bring up Tennessee because that is not a goal I can easily obtain within a couple of weeks or even a month. But, it is something I want to build up to obtaining. Something I want to do right so that everything is exactly as it needs to be. And I can’t fully accomplish this until I accomplish other goals that take precedent first. For Example, my physical health.

As a witch, I truly believe in loving every part of yourself, the good and the bad. The exciting and the terrifying. The understood and the neglected. Part of this acceptance process is learning what is and is not acceptable for my body. Now, I have struggled with my weight and how I see myself since I was a child. I remember a little boy seeing my tummy in a bathing suit in 1st grade and him telling me I was fat and that his dad said fat girls were ugly. Comments like this, stares and whispers were constant when in regards to my weight. It felt like an overwhelming amount of attention was directed at the way I looked, even if no one was looking at me I felt as though everyone was thinking about it. Over the years, this mental state took a tole on a lot more than I expected, even affecting me today with my Significant Other. The consistent attention to my own weight pulled me into depression, our of depression, into anxiety and out of anxiety. What I mean is I had an up and down relationship with my tummy.

I felt abandoned most days. I would get this idea that I was too much and not enough all at once. A gentle and cooing tone from my toxic thoughts led to a lot of issues and concerns for me and my health. Some days, I would read something that made me feel as though I was a Queen. A bad bitch lurking in this cruel world and taking it by the throat to stare it in the eyes and say, “I love my body fat.”

The sad part is your heart, mind and body know when you are lying to it. I didn’t love my body. Not in those confident moments and not in those depressed moments. I was locked away in a cage in my mind that gave me two illusions to choose from, while hiding my third option under the rug. I neglected my feelings because I didn’t want to experience them. I neglected my health because I didn’t want to deal with it. And I neglected my body because I hated it.

Reality here is that this is the only fucking body I have. Do you understand that? Let me repeat this so maybe you can understand how harsh of a reality this was to me.

I am on this Earth for goodness knows how long. 50 years, 20 years, 72 days. I don’t know, and no one does. I was literally forced into owning this body, whether I like it or not, it is mine. I can move houses, I can get a new car, I can get a new job. I cannot get a new body.

I heard this in High School and started what I called my weight loss journey. I lost maybe 20 pounds while attending a workout-boot camp of sorts and trying to maintain a healthy diet. That sentence resonated so much with me that I repeated it every day to myself. My motivation was on point. Then, I stopped going. There are multiple reasons why I stopped, but none of them are rightful excuses.

I just stopped.

Now, during those days I had lost weight, I was starting to gain confidence in myself and was attempting to genuinely look out for my health. I had more energy and felt amazing! But like I said, I had stopped for terrible reasons.

Fast-forward to college and you will find a very anxiety filled, sleep deprived and mentally exhausted Carly. Some nights I wouldn’t sleep but for 4-5 hours. Other nights I didn’t sleep at all. I believe my stay up streak was 3, going on 4 nights. All due to homework. My coping technique has always been eating food, too. So when you have a sleep deprived student settled next to a 24/7 pizza joint with half baked cookies, you gain 30-40 pounds.

At 245 Pounds, I was at my heaviest. This weight gain came on as my roommates were saying I was fat, stupid and were making me question myself frequently. Self hate festers among others who don’t value your worth, remember that. So, through those years of college I weighed an uncomfortable amount of weight that made my body start shutting down physically.

Mental Health had a lot to do with my physical health, here as well. When I was in a really bad place, I would stop moving completely and just sit still. If I had a terrible feeling, I’d cook something to make myself feel better or would just grab a processed, quick snack. It was a pattern of mine. I’d get just enough motivation to do one or two things, and then I’d stop all together and feel as though that was enough for a few weeks.

Eventually, when I was done with college, I started back on that rollercoaster of healthy and unhealthy. I’d lose 5 pounds, then gain 7 pounds right back. I started detail critiquing myself and stressing myself out. My weight never could get under control, and I couldn’t break the 200 mark to save my life. I would see pictures and videos of myself and feel as though I had eaten an entire buffet. Not too long after getting with my S/O and starting my job as a Sexual Violence Outreach Advocate, I got sick.

It started as a birthday dinner at a Korean Barbecue in 2019. I was with my two best friends at the time and having a blast. We all ate the same food, but when I woke up the following morning I was throwing up everything in my tummy.

The throwing up went on for 4 days before I was taken to the hospital, only for them to release me saying it was virus. My personal doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong and it eventually became an everyday thing. I would wake up between 3-6 in the morning, go to the bathroom and be sick for hours before pulling myself together to make it to work.

Weeks turned into months, and months turned into a year.

I lost 50 pounds from this thing that no doctor could seem to figure out. I got x-rays and everything, but nothing and no one could tell me exactly what was going on with me. I couldn’t eat anything friend, only raw fruits and veggies, or broth. I only drank water and ginger based drinks, and could not for the life of me stop what was going on with my body. Many doctors tried to pass it as a virus, stomach ulcers, GURD, or even Heart Burn (?). None of them were right.

After a long time, my mom finally confessed that every woman in our family has Endometriosis. If you don’t know what this is, it is the build up of scar tissue on the outside of your uterus. This leads to nausea, ovarian cysts (which they found on me in x-rays) and sub or infertility. No doctor can diagnose it, either, unless you have a surgery to see if there is scarring. So for many, suffering on your own is easier than seeing a doctor.

I discussed this with my doctor, and it was as if a light flashed in her brain. This is a disease she cannot say I have, but can say it sounds very much like that. It is hereditary and once you have it, you have it for good.

After this information entered my line of though, I decided the stress from my job was too much for too little pay, and chose to leave. Leading up to my leaving the job, I was sick almost every second of every day. The moment I left, I felt better.

I still feel pain in my ovary area, but because I don’t have the money to see a doctor, and can control my pains with eating habits and physical influence, I choose to work through it alone.

I said ALL THAT BACKGROUND BULLSHIT JUST TO SAY THIS!!!!!

This is the part that marks my new journey. It is the Journey to Strength and Well Being. The Journey to Feeling Good. The Journey the Choosing my happiness over anything else. And the Journey to choosing the health of my body over my insecurities.

I wrote this because a couple of days ago I had a very graphic and vivid dream about my boyfriend falling in love with the woman I wanted to be. In other words, I seen him with a woman who literally presented all of my insecurities to me. Small, lithe and dainty, gentle and calming, and everything I wasn’t. She was beautiful. And he seen this, and did things for her that he never did for me. I woke up almost in tears, because my emotions were raw, but I had no idea that my insecurities were still very deeply rooted.

I pondered over the last few days of this dream. What it could mean, what I should do, how I should feel and I have finally come to a conclusion.

This dream is a depiction of my fears. My brain was saying, “You need to address this shit right now.” and did it in the most face slap kind of way I could think.

I still, even after learning to love myself genuinely, have image issues that need to be nurtured and tended to before I can move forward in my life.

So, I’m making 1-3 goals every month that are attainable and reachable. This will be a brick road to my obtaining that cottage/cabin in the Tennessee Mountains.

This months Goals start today!

GOAL 1 - Learn to do a split, find a healthy yoga sequence, be able to do 15 pushups, & 30 Squats by the end of December.

GOAL 2 - Make a conscious effort to what you eat/making a new dish once a week to try.

GOAL 3 - Save $100.

This is a process, and I am only human. I don’t want to fall back into the habits of toxic mentality. I don’t want to neglect myself or how I feel and I don’t want to lose myself in to the world in the process of searching for freedom from myself.

I expect myself to exude self control, self love, and empowerment. I expect to expect better from and for myself, and I expect to accomplish my goals.

I manifest it here, I can do a split. I have a healthy maintainable yoga sequence that I have committed to growing expanding and changing. I can do 15 push ups and 30 squats. I have 100 dollars saved up already and make concious decisions that better my health rather than hurt it. This is part of my lifstyle now!

And it is for the better!

Thank you to anyone who read this through. These entries are more for my benefit and thought process, but appreciate anyone who recognizes it or even relates and wants to talk about it. It’s personal to me and means a lot. I intend on being on here more often to update my challenges and express how I use my witchcraft in the process of this Journey.

I love you all! Stay safe, warm and full to the brim! Later Witches! xx

#yule #witch #witchcraft #thinspo #healthy #yoga #workout #food #meal #habit #mentalhealth #comfort #hygge #cute #fun #craft #magic #magick #happy #storyline #witchjournal #journal #writing #creative

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dovechim · 5 years

Text

a remedy for mondays 02 (m)

➾ 12.6k

➾ please read part 01 first!!

➾ summary: all you wanted was just one day off work. but for that to happen, you need to invent a plausible reason. and then somehow, somewhere along the way, things get out of hand, and now people think you’re having a baby with your co-worker Park Jimin after a one-night stand. confused? join the club.

➾ warnings: SMUT, risky unprotected sex (pls be safe!), one night stand, oral sex (m&f), cum fetish/ cum eating (m), creampies, public bj, impregnation kink, baby making dirty talk, switch jimin.

➾ a/n: happy monday (at least for me)!!!! the smut is finally here u guys... i feel like im making up for lost time lmaooo ok but real talk there’s a lot more to come in the future. once again, i wanna express my undying love for @jimlingss. without her, half of what's in this fic would not exist c:

love you guys. have a good week ahead 💓

The notifications are pouring in like crazy. Before this you didn’t even realise you had this many friends, but it seems like now everyone wants a piece of the congratulations-pie, everyone wants to share in on your good news.

Your sister has been calling and texting you non-stop to ask when your next checkup is, and if she can come along to see the ultrasound. Your mother has been leaving long, weepy voicemails begging you to call her back.

It’s all just too much, and its Monday again.

“Your performance has been awfully sub-par lately,” your manager sighs as she flips through your report. “I thought we went over this the last time we met? Where’s the analysis for the datasets I gave you last week?”

“I’m sorry, I’ll work harder,” you mumble under your breath, swallowing back the unfairness that tastes bitter in the back of your throat. Even though you’d spent what was remaining of your weekend churning out all the reports, it’s still not enough. Nothing will ever be enough for your slave driver of a manager.

“See that you do. You may go for now,” she dismisses you, and you leave her office.

You plop down at your desk with a heavy sigh, looking at your emails with no real motivation to do anything. Between the pressure at work and the whole mounting scandal of your supposed pregnancy, you are caught between a rock and a hard place. There’s no real solution to any of this. All you have to blame is yourself.

No, actually, your asshole boss is to blame. She sent you a set of painfully incomplete datasets last week, expecting you to get a full analysis out of them. When you wrote back to her that some data was missing, hence making it difficult for you to analyse, she just ignored your email.

Feeling your anger surge through our entire body, you pick up your mug and shove yourself out of your chair, muttering under your breath.

“What the fuck does she want me to do, magic the data out of thin air? Pull the data out of my ass?” Luckily everyone around you is too absorbed in their work to notice that you’re walking around and talking angrily to yourself.

You wash your cup with more vigour than necessary, scrubbing extra hard as you imagine that the surface of your cup is your boss’s face. You get back to your seat and set your cup down, breathing hard both from the exertion and the annoyance.

“I hit 200 mentions this morning,” Park Jimin remarks casually as he drops his briefcase on his desk and sinks into his chair. “I’ve never had this many notifications before.”

You shoot him an annoyed glare. “Not here!”

Gesturing for him to follow you, you scope out an empty meeting room and close the door. He comes in and sits on the desk with his arms crossed.

“So what are we going to-“

“Let’s have a baby.”

Park Jimin gapes at you, and if the situation weren’t this dire, you’d laugh about how someone so handsome can get caught off guard too. You run your eyes over his body, from the way his thighs look thicker as he perches on the edge of the desk, his slim biceps that show through his white dress shirt, and his dashing good looks. Why nothave a baby with Park Jimin? At this point, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to you.

“You’re not thinking straight are you?” Jimin cautions with his hands up, as if trying to ward off a raging, charging bull. “What happened? Did your manager give you hell again? You’re always cranky on Mondays.”

“I’m cranky, am I?” Your voice has a slight edge to it. “I’ll tell you why I’m cranky alright. My sister is texting me every two seconds asking if I’ve set up an appointment with the doctor yet. My mother is calling me every four seconds to tell me what she thinks our baby’s name should be-“

“Wait- really? But you haven’t gotten a single call in the whole time that you’ve been here…”

“I’m not getting a moment’s peace,” you whirl around on him with a slightly manic look on your face, and Park Jimin’s eyes widen even more, and he gulps in fear. “Let’s just have this fucking baby already.”

Jimin knows well enough not to engage someone when they’re in full on panic mode, so he lets you take a few deep breaths before speaking. Over the past few months, he’s grown pretty familiar with what your likes and dislikes are, particularly your preference for drowning your sorrows in alcohol. So maybe the next thing that he suggests is not the most rational, but fuck it, at this point, does it even matter anymore?

“You know what? Let’s ditch work early today and go for drinks.” Jimin watches your expression change immediately, and his heart seizes in relief.

But then a frown crosses your face. “Oh but I can’t, I have that fucking dataset to analyse…”

“Fuck it.” You’re shocked when the expletive leaves his lips; the normally reserved Park Jimin who always does all his work and makes sure to cross his ‘t’s and dot his ‘i’s. “It’s Monday. Who wants to work on a Monday?”

It feels like the two of you are doing something illegal when you lean to the side and catch Park Jimin’s eye at exactly 5pm on the dot. You already decided that leaving at the same time from your seats would be far too inconspicuous, so the plan is for you to pretend to go to the ladies’ washroom, which is in one direction, and for him to leave for the men’s about 10 minutes later, then meet at the taxi stand and hail a cab to get the hell out of this place.

It’s a whole rendezvous, and since you left earlier, you reach the taxi stand first; panting even though you haven’t done that much physical exercise to justify it at all. The minutes are ticking by; any time now any one of your coworkers could walk by and see you waiting for a taxi and immediately know that you’re leaving work early. But it’s even worse still if they happen to catch you and Park Jimin hopping into a cab together, so you only pray that your brainless coworkers are tied to their desks.

Not a second later, Park Jimin appears, his hair ruffled and his eyes shining behind his glasses with mirth. His lips are quirked into an excited smile as he waves down a cab, opens the door for you and gestures you in. The simple act of his, done without much thought at all, actually makes your heart skip a beat as you get in.

You can’t help but obsessively check over your shoulder to see if any of your co-workers just so happen to be around. It’s only when you clear the near vicinity of your workplace that your shoulders sag with relief, and even more so when the cab screeches to a stop, signalling that you’ve arrived. Jimin pays the driver without a word, refusing to accept your money as you clamber out of the cab after him.

It’s not the typical scene you would have found yourself at in your younger days. This bar is a lot more lowkey, the lighting is dim despite the fact that they haven’t even reached happy hour yet. It’s hard to make out anyone’s face inside, and you nearly lose sight of Jimin were it not for the fact that his hand is tightly grasping yours.

“What would you like to start off?” Jimin asks as you reach the bar. He turns to see you struggling to get on the high chair in your skirt and heels, and he reaches to steady the back of the chair so that it doesn’t tip over.

“Shots.” You declare. “I need to get wasted, and fast.”

Giving you a raised eyebrow, but not protesting in the least, Jimin turns to order and in that moment, gives you a really nice glimpse of his side profile. Somewhere along the taxi ride he had taken off his glasses and pushed his hair back, and unbuttoned his dress shirt a little more. You have to tear your eyes away from him when the bartender presents you with a tray of tequila shots with salt decorating the rim, and some finger food to go along with it.

You grab one and he follows suit.

“What should we toast to?” Park Jimin asks.

“To our baby,” you say with a slight laugh, and though you can feel the slightly weird look that the bartender gives you, you don’t really give a fuck. All that matters is that the only other person in here who knows the truth is Park Jimin, and he gives you a shared smile as you clink glasses.

The alcohol burns as it slides down your throat, and you immediately reach for another to chase it down. The tray clears out pretty quickly as Jimin matches you shot for shot, and every time you put down your glass, reality gets further and further away, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“So tell me,” Jimin says as he reaches for the ketchup bottle and uncaps it, pulling the bowl of truffle fries closer to him. “Was this always your dream?”

You stop him as he’s about to pour ketchup all over the top of the fries like a savage instead of doing it the normal way, on the side. “Dude, order your own fries if you’re gonna ruin them like that!”

“What, how is that weird? I’ve always done that!”

“You belong in a mental institution,” you fix him with a glare. “Anyway, was whatalways my dream?”

Jimin just shrugs and gives in as he takes a few fries from the bowl to dip, like a civilized person. “This job.”

“Was working at a desk job for 9 hours straight always my dream? Uh, I think not,” you chew on your fries. “Which child ever had a dream like that? Did youhave a dream like that?”

“Me? I wanted to be a policeman,” Jimin grins as he raises his clenched fists. “You know all that idealistic shit children believe in. Making a difference in the world. Catching all the bad guys. Things like that.”

“So you don’t believe in those things anymore?”

“No, I still believe in them,” he raises another shot to his lips and downs it with a grimace. “I just realised that things aren’t so black and white. There are bad guys everywhere, but sometimes you just can’t catch them. Sometimes they’re the ones in positions of power over you and you gotta live like that.”

You reach for another shot, but the tray is empty. Jimin signals the bartender to bring you a second round of drinks; a gin and tonic for you and a coke with vodka for him. The alcohol has your senses buzzing pleasantly, it feels like there’s a disconnect between your brain and your mouth, but you don’t actively object to it either. It feels nice to be able to tell someone things like this.

“I gave up on having a dream long ago. Not everyone is lucky enough to do what they like in life, and I already accepted that I’m not one of those people. And it’s okay.” You turn in your chair so that you are facing Jimin directly, though you have a bit of trouble because it seems like your body is disconnected from your brain.

Jimin helps you with a hand on your thigh that sends shockwaves through your entire body. His daring touch makes your heart speed up, and when he positions your chair so that his thighs are on the outside of yours, you can barely breathe as you look him in the eye. And then he leans forward, slowly, bit by bit, until you think he’s going to kiss you, but then he only takes a whiff of your alcohol laden breath.

“Come on. I should see you home. We still have work tomorrow.” His words brook no resistance as he helps you off the chair with an arm around your waist, and the alcohol seems to have taken effect on you faster than usual today, because you’re only capable of sinking into him, feeling his firm body against yours.

A cab pulls up to the entrance of the bar, and Jimin shields your head as you get into the car, barely having control over your limbs. You mutter your address to the driver, and over the ride home, the bumps and turns actually help you to sober up a little, but then you begin to notice the little things like how Park Jimin’s thighs are actually pretty thick.

And when he stretches forward to pay the driver again, you notice how nice his biceps are.

When he walks in front of you leading you with one hand, you notice how tight his ass looks in his pants.

As he waits for you to unlock your door, you feel his breath on the nape of your neck, and just the feeling of having his body this close to yours is just-

“So um, goodnight, it was fun, I guess,” Park Jimin is stuttering and stumbling over his words as he scratches the back of his neck. “We should do it again sometime. Ditch work, I mean.”

Oh fuck it all to hell, you think to yourself as you grab Park Jimin by the collar and pull him into you, your lips meeting and immediately, you taste the sweetness of the coke on his tongue. Park Jimin lets out an adorable little grunt of surprise, but his hands still wrap around you anyway, one around your waist and the other inching down towards your hip.

“We- shouldn’t be doing this,” Park Jimin pants in between kisses as you bite his lips roughly, and watching them become swollen with your kisses gives you a strange satisfaction that you’ve never experienced with anyone else.

But his rationality is impeded by the alcohol rushing through his bloodstream, but even more so than that, the feel of your soft body against him. So Park Jimin forgets what he was going to say next as you make him walk backwards in the direction of your bedroom.

“But we’re doing it anyway,” you tell him with flushed cheeks, and his hands agree with you as they climb up your body, reaching for the zipper on the side of your skirt.

He pulls your skirt off impatiently, but you won’t let him get away with it so easily as you fiddle with the buttons of his dress shirt, finally prising them apart to get a good look at his sleek chest muscles and his toned abdomen.

“Shit,” you swear under your breath. “When the fuck did you get those?”

Park Jimin looks smug as he pushes his shirt off his body, feeling his abs tense as you straddle his lap. “What do you mean? I’ve always had these.”

“I thought you were just some skimpy little nerd,” you huff at him in slight annoyance. It’s almost a little rude of him to spring it on you like this, suddenly turning from the computer geek nerd into a hot walking sex god.

“A nerd hot enough for you to have a one-night stand with,” Jimin throws back at you with a proud smirk, and irritated with his sudden overconfidence, you shut him up by grinding against the bulge in the front of his now too tight dress pants.

“That doesn’t count, I was panicking,” you try to defend yourself weakly, but Jimin ignores you in favour of mouthing against your neck, kissing his way down to your bra cups, which he pulls down with his teeth. As if to prove his point that you are having a one-night stand with him right now.

Jimin is fumbling with your bra at the same time you are trying to undo the button of his pants, and the whole affair is desperate; the two of you are half-sober and everything is a blur. All you know is, the next thing his pants are off, his cock is leaking on his stomach, and the desire to take him in your mouth is undeniable.

Your hand grasps him at his base, and he bucks his hips into you immediately, curses falling from his swollen lips. A few good strokes, and then you can’t wait anymore, your lips close around his head and the saltiness of him spreads across your tongue.

“Ahhh, fuck,” Jimin’s hands tangle themselves in your hair. “I- gu-ess we’re not co-workers anymore?”

Your mouth is too full of cock to respond as you sink down on him deeper, loosening your throat as your tongue teases the underside of him. Saliva is already dripping from the corners of your mouth to run down your chin, and you belatedly realise that your bra is still on; Jimin hadn’t managed to get it off. With one hand you reach behind you and undo the clasp, shrugging the bra off in a single movement as Jimin swears as if he just witnessed a miracle (he’s never actually seen any of the girls he’s been with do this.)

You pull yourself off his cock for a moment to give yourself a breather, resting the head of him against your chin as you look up at him. “Just ask yourself, Park. Would a co-worker be sucking your dick like this?”

And then your mouth is back on him; you feel his hands in your hair and his thighs trembling beneath you. His cock is leaking in your mouth, it is thick in your throat as you bob up and down, the sounds of you choking around his cock are filthy and wet.

“Stop!” Jimin sounds out with a gasp, his abs trembling from the amount of effort it takes him not to blow his load. “It- it’s been a while. I don’t wanna cum yet, please.”

His pleading, whiny voice that’s filled with desperation makes you reconsider. Maybe he isn’t a sex god after all; he just happens to have a good body. You pull away from his cock and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, and Jimin pulls you forward to sit on his lap. His cock brushes against your stomach, and he can’t seem to keep his eyes off your breasts.

“Have you even done this before?” You mean it as a joke, but Park Jimin’s eyes widen in panic.

“What?! Of course I have!” He says defensively. “Let me eat you out and I’ll show you.”

He reaches for the waistband of your underwear, but you swat him away impatiently. “That’ll take too long. Just let me ride you and we can both cum.”

You push down your underwear in a single movement, not missing the way his eyes are drawn to how your arousal clings to the material. He helps you situate yourself on him with his hands around your waist, and you grab the base of his cock to start to guide him into you. But then, Park Jimin stops you.

“Make sure you’re wet enough?” He asks as he runs his fingers against your slit, though he pretty much already knows the answer just from seeing how soaked your panties were. He just wants to feel the evidence of your arousal for himself. His fingers come away sticky and soaked.

While Park Jimin is busy marvelling at how wet you are just from sucking his cock, you position the head of his cock at your entrance, and then you sink down slowly onto him. The stretch of him against your walls makes you dig your fingers into his shoulders, and likewise, Park Jimin’s fingers dig themselves into your waist as he moans out your name.

“F-fuck, you’re tight,” Jimin barely manages to get out as you stop with a few more inches to go. “You didn’t answer my question earlier on.”

“What is it?” You grit your teeth as you position yourself on your knees, trying to work yourself into taking his entire cock. It had been a while since you last had dick, let alone one as thick as Park Jimin’s, but you aren’t a quitter by any means.

“We- we aren’t co-workers anymore, huh?” Jimin groans again as you squeeze his cock with your walls.

“For fuck’s sake, Park,” you growl at him as you start bouncing on his cock, each slap satisfying as he bottoms out inside you. “We stopped being co-workers the minute I publicised our one-night stand.”

Your hands are on his chest for better leverage as your hips grind on his cock to get him as deep as possible, alternating between up and down movements and side to side movements. Park Jimin has his hands on your hips to help guide you, but he realises you don’t need guidance, so he just sits back to let himself enjoy the visual spectacle that’s unfolding in front of him. You, with your cheeks flushed and breasts loose and bouncing because of his cock, riding him as if your life depends on it. Jimin looks down to where his cock disappears inside you, where your sweet thighs are flexing and working to get the both of you off. But it’s not quite enough.

“Turn around,” he begs. “Wanna see your ass too.”

“God, you’re so fucking weird, Park,” but you do it anyway, letting his cock slide out of you as you turn around and fold your knees under you so that your back faces him.

Jimin spreads his thighs just enough so that they frame your ass perfectly, his hand pressing against your lower back so that you arch and press your ass against him even more. Then he spreads your cheeks with one hand and guides his cock back into your warm depths with the other, groaning when you push back onto him and sit on his cock fully. Now every time you bounce on his cock, your ass jiggles deliciously, and as an ass man, Jimin appreciates this view so much that he tries his best to take a mental picture of this whole view with his mind.

His cock sliding into your pussy so easily since you’re so wet, the fleshy globes of your ass against his thighs as you fuck yourself back onto his cock.

“I-I’m gonna cum,” he warns you with his cheeks hot and abs tensing.

“Just cum already,” you huff in impatience as you turn your head to catch a glimpse of his already fucked out look, lips swollen and his hands on your ass as his cock twitches inside you.

With your permission, Jimin lets himself go as he feels his balls tense, cock releasing inside your sweet, warm pussy and filling you up all the way with his cum. He continues to watch your ass bounce on his cock to milk him dry of every drop, his hips thrusting upwards in an effort to prolong his pleasure. Once he can feel that he’s given you every drop of cum in his body, he places his hands on your ass and pushes you forward with cheeks spread so he can see how well he filled your pussy.

His softening cock starts to slide out from you, and Jimin can see his cum start to leak from your pussy almost immediately. To your benefit, you are giving him the fucking show of his life as you arch your back and lean forward, guided by his hands as you lower your upper body to the bed.

“Shit, oh fuck it,” Jimin mutters to himself as he pushes himself into a sitting position, then with both hands grasping the back of your thighs, he flips you over till you are on your ass, then pulls you with legs spread closer to him. The sight of your cream filled pussy is just too tempting to resist, and Jimin licks through your soaked folds as he savours your taste mixed with his.

He barely hears you squeak out his name in surprise as he continues to devour your creamed pussy, tongue around your clit in circles and fingers dipping into your cunt to tease out more of his cum from your depths. To his pleasure, his cum leaks from you in an ever steady stream as he eats you out; your thighs are shaking around his head as you cry out your pleasure till you lose track.

When you beg him to stop, thighs quivering from overstimulation and clit raw and abused, he raises his head and gives you a quick kiss to your inner thigh, collapsing onto the bed in pure exhaustion. Post high, you are both wiped out, and that’s how the two of you, who are most certainly notco-workers anymore, fall asleep.

Everything is too bright. And everything hurts, your throat is dry and again, everything hurts. You forget that you aren’t in your prime time anymore; that drinking is a night of fun followed by a morning of regret.

Though this morning, you have a lot more to regret than just alcohol.

You wake up with an alien arm around your waist, and frustrated by the unwanted physical contact, you toss it away with an annoyed grunt. Your elbow strikes out in the same direction, only to hit a solid, warm body beside you, and then your eyes shoot open as you sit straight up in bed.

Only to find a very naked, very passed out Park Jimin sleeping beside you.

“Holy fucking shit,” the realisation of exactly what happened last night hits you, and dread punches you in the stomach.

“Is it morning already?” Park Jimin buries his face into your sheets, his blonde hair sticks out in every direction. “Five more minutes, mom.”

Irritated that he’s yet to come to his senses, you kick his stupid, bubble butt, and he jerks awake, opening his eyes blearily. Once he takes in your expression, he closes them immediately.

“Can’t say that’s the best thing to wake up to in the morning,” Jimin says with his face buried in the sheets again, his voice muffled. “Nothing kills my morning wood faster than-“

“Get the fuck up, Park,” you hiss at him, clutching the sheets to your chest. “Come to your fucking senses!”

At the tone of urgency in your voice, Park Jimin finally shakes himself awake; he blinks slowly until he takes in the whole situation: you and him, supposedly co-workers, waking up together in the same bed, naked.

“Holy fuck, did we just…” Park Jimin glances down at his cock that lies limp against the side of his thigh, and the sticky, dried essence left behind. “Oh my god. We fucked.”

“We arefucked,” you correct him.

It seems as if whoever is running things up in the divine realm really has it out for you. Nursing a hangover as you walk into work, you try your best not to make eye contact with Park Jimin, which is easier said than done considering that he sits right opposite you.

So this is how it feels when two colleagues actuallyhave a one-night stand.

You run a hand through your hair in frustration, unable to focus on any of your tasks this morning.

“Hey, _____- whoa, are you feeling okay?” Kim Taehyung does a double take as he passes by your desk. “You look a little, um… under the weather. You feeling alright? Is it… how’s the baby? How many months are you again?”

Your face only pales even further as he brings up the non-existent baby, and with that, a realisation that the both of you didn’t use protection last night. Park Jimin seems to have arrived at the same realisation, because he makes eye contact with you for the first time that morning as he peeks out the side of his computer.

“I’m- I’m alright,” you manage a forced smile, wanting nothing more than for him to just fuck off already so that you can begin to process all this in peace and figure out exactly how screwed over you are.

“Well, if you say so,” Kim Taehyung says with a doubtful frown. “You know, _____, we actually have really great benefits for mothers. Even unwed mothers. I’d love to sit down and go through them with you one day if you could spare me the time. Wait actually, can I see your baby bump? I always thought they were the cutest-“

“I have to throw up,” you say without hesitation, and you stand up and push past him on your way to the restroom.

It’s not entirely a lie, since you do spend a good ten minutes praying at the porcelain altar, but no one has to know it was because of alcohol intoxication. When you finally flush and then rinse out your mouth at the sink, you open the door of the restroom to find Park Jimin waiting with a worried look on his face.

“Are you okay?” He starts, but then Jeongguk walks by you and shoots you both an admiring look.

“Lovebirds alert!” He sings out in that highly irritating voice of his as he dances down the aisle.

“No, I want to fucking die,” you mutter under your breath as you stare daggers into Jeongguk’s back.

“I need to ask you something,” Park Jimin says urgently as he glances around for any eavesdropping ears. He grasps your hand and tugs you into the nearest meeting room, and once he makes sure that the doors are locked securely, he turns to you again. “We used a condom last night right? We are responsible, working adults. We wouldn’t forget something as basic as that.”

You sink down onto a chair with a glum look on your face. “Impossible. We couldn’t have used a condom. I don’t have any condoms in my house.”

Park Jimin makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat. “Well… then, you’re on birth control right?”

“It makes me gain weight like crazy. The only reason why I’m not a balloon right now is because I went off the pill years ago.”

There is a beat of silence as Park Jimin stares at you as if you’re pulling his leg. Then a random thought occurs to you that you could very well still end up being a balloon precisely becauseyou’re not on birth control right now.

“What about Plan B?” Jimin lights up, literally jumping out of his chair as he suggests it. “You could get it right now. I’ll drive you. We can say we’re going to the doctor’s for an appointment or something.”

The sobering reality sets in as you sit there in silence, and Park Jimin is still looking at you, waiting for your response. Only, you don’t quite know how to respond. The rational part of you should be jumping to your feet now and making him rush you to the nearest pharmacy, but then there’s a tiny voice in the back of your head that you can’t ignore.

This would solve all your problems.

Park Jimin is still waiting for your response, growing more and more antsy as the minutes tick by.

“Do you know how many people know about this baby?” You finally say.

Those were not the words Park Jimin was expecting to hear, and he does a double take. “Wh- what? What are you talking about?”

“Approximately 265 people,” you continue on, ignoring his cautious look. “Your family, my family, the whole company, my friends, my ex-boyfriend and his new wife-“

“You counted? Why would you do that?” Jimin groans as he runs his hands through his hair. “You didn’t have to remind me of how fucked we are and how many people we have to answer to. My Granny dug out my baby clothes from some godforsaken corner in the house and gave them to me last night.”

The mention of Jimin’s Granny fills you with guilt once more, and it makes the tiny voice grow a little louder, and you try to swallow back the awful feeling.

“Exactly. So why don’t we just… leave this up to chance. Just this once.” You keep glancing at Jimin to gauge his reaction, but the blonde haired man only stares back at you with the same serious expression on his face. “Plan B wouldn’t have worked anyway. I already ovulated this month.”

“Shit,” Jimin sighs as he collapses down into a chair. “So there’s an actual chance? That you could be pregnant right now? But I… I ate you out. Maybe I got most of it out from you.”

The both of you know that Jimin is simply grasping at straws now.

You just shrug silently as Jimin takes some time to let the reality of the situation sink in. Just then, your phone buzzes and you open the text from your sister who’s asking if she can accompany you to your ultrasounds. You groan audibly, and Jimin takes a peek over at your phone screen.

“Just this once,” he says, as if he’s really considering it as he watches the messages from your sister flood your screen. “But… will you be okay? If it really does happen, I mean. Are you okay with that?”

“I mean, I hate kids and all, if that’s what you’re asking.” You lock your phone and put it face down on the desk just so you don’t have to deal with that for a hot second. “But that aside, if it’s a cute kid, I guess I don’t mind. I mean… if the kid looked like you. I guess I don’t mind.”

You don’t know why it’s taking you so long to say what you really mean. It’s not like you to beat around the bushes like this, nor is it like you to be tripping over your own words like an idiot. But the gist of it still gets through anyway, by the look on Park Jimin’s face.

“I… I guess I wouldn’t mind either. Kids are cute.” Jimin says hesitantly, eyes constantly darting away from yours. “I mean, I’mcute. Obviously my kids would be cute.”

“Um. Okay then,” you say awkwardly, getting up and skirting around him to get to the door. “I guess… um… so… I’ll let you know. If anything happens.”

Jimin gets up with a resolute look on his face as he follows you to the door. “Yeah. Sure.”

The next Monday, everyone is off work for the afternoon because it’s the quarterly Healthy Lifestyle Day, where a poll is sent out to everyone to vote for the healthy bonding activity that their team should engage in. In actual fact, the poll is a scam since bowling wins every time, all because it’s well known that Bae Joohyun’s favourite pastime is bowling.

You endure the awful scents of sweat as you squeeze into your awful rented bowling shoes, grimace as you cram your fingers into the holes on the bowling ball, try not too hard to embarrass yourself as you bowl gutter after gutter. Your back is aching, face is sweaty and you are straight up not having a good time.

Bae Joohyun, on the other hand, is nailing strike after strike in her own lane, with her team of personal cheerleaders making a huge fuss every time she finishes her round. Those are the very group of people who are aiming for a promotion that year; the rest of you are just kind of milling about the other lanes and pretending to enjoy yourself.

You finish your round and plop down on the seat with a sigh, watching as Jeon Jeongguk takes his turn after you with a flourish as he launches his ball down the alley. It’s no secret that he too loves bowling, and he’s pretty good at it too, until Seokjin, one of those vying for a promotion, had to come over and tell him to tone down lest he beat Bae Joohyun’s score.

God forbid if that should happen.

Jeon Jeongguk is trying very hard to do his worst, and it’s actually kind of hilarious because you can literally see the veins in his neck as he strains, his body tensing as he shifts his posture so that his ball rolls into the gutter. The utter disappointment on his face as he strolls back, looking as if he’s about to cry.

“Better luck next time, Jeon,” you call out, feeling a little sorry for the boy with the bunny smile since it seems as if he really does enjoy bowling.

“Yeah, better luck next time!” Kim Taehyung yells out as he takes his time choosing his ball. He holds it in front of him and glances at you with a strange look on his face that immediately warns you to be on guard. “Hey, _____...”

“Yes?” Your voice is raised in suspicion, already not loving where this is going.

“I wanted to ask you this last week, but where is your bump?” Taehyung strokes the bowling ball with a reverence that makes you want to roll your eyes. Why the fuck do you work with weirdos? Taehyung eyes the bowling ball he’s carrying before he looks at you again. “Shouldn’t you be around this far along by now?”

You glance nervously at Jimin, who is in the other lane paired up with the Parenting team, laughing and smiling with this other girl who has long wavy hair that comes down to the middle of her back. But he’s currently too occupied with making her laugh, even helping her out with her bowling posture, to help you out of this hole, so you have to deal with this one yourself.

“The doctor said it’s a small baby,” you shrug as nonchalantly as you can, secretly marvelling at your own genius. “Some people don’t show until the 8thor 9thmonth, you know. It’s perfectly normal. Every pregnancy is different.”

You even sound knowledgeable to your own ears. Taehyung looks convinced by your story, but then he decides to put the bowling ball under his shirt for some inane reason, drawing more attention to himself as your coworkers start to notice.

“Hey Park! Look, I’m your girlfriend!” Taehyung yells and you stand up in horror.

“What the fuck, are you fucking high?” You hiss at him, trying to get him to take the ball out without dropping it on his own foot. “Stop fucking around! Bae Joohyun is here!”

Her name gets him to sober up a little, though it’s already too late because Namjoon from HR is strolling over with an amused look on his face, having sat out the bowling because of his injured finger (he’s always injuring some part of his body because of his clumsiness).

“Hey _____, how’s the baby? Don’t mind if I feel the bump? Is the baby kicking yet?” He says with an excited look on his face. “My sister felt her kicks early. It was the most magical thing.”

“Uh… no, not yet,” you laugh weakly and wave his hand away. “It’s a very small baby for now, so…”

“Oh come on, I’m sure there’s been a flutter or two here and there!” Namjoon insists with his eyes bright, and Taehyung nods vigorously.

“C’mon, just let us feel the bump?” Taehyung begs with his hands clasped together, and you glance around furtively. The two of them won’t seem to stop going on and on about this baby, but if you just let them touch your stomach maybe they’ll be satisfied. It can’t hurt, it’s not like they have ultrasounds for hands.

“Fine,” you sigh as you tense your stomach a little. You don’t have the flattest stomach, but it’s certainly not as pronounced as it should be this far into pregnancy. But it’s harmless, they won’t be able to feel anything, and-

“Oh my god, I think the baby just kicked!” Namjoon exclaims with his hand on your lower abdomen, and you frown in distress. “There! Right there! I felt it! Taehyung, did you feel it too?”

Namjoon removes his hand and urges Taehyung to take his place, which the latter does without hesitation. You’re just about to protest that this touchy feely session has gone on for a tad too long, but then Taehyung’s face lights up.

“You’re right! I felt it too! Oh my god ______, your baby kicked!”

He says this last sentence with a booming voice that echoes throughout the bowling alley, and you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole. More and more people are turning to look at you now, including total strangers not from your company, and even Jimin and the pretty girl he’s with are turning to you.

Namjoon and Taehyung are absolutely wrecking you today. Luckily Jeon Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be in the mood to join in, seeing as he’s seated on the far end of the sofa soaking up his own misery.

Your cheeks are burning as you feel the burrito from lunch announcing its presence, but you paste on a shaky smile and add on to your credibility with a nervous laugh. “Oh wow… um, that’s the baby, y-yeah it is! The kicks have been so tiny I barely noticed!”

Namjoon is literally clapping his hands with glee. “Where’s Park? He needs to witness this moment! He’s your baby daddy!”

Taehyung glances around till he catches a glimpse of Jimin and the pretty girl with the wavy hair, and then he grimaces. “Woah, looks like you got some competition huh? Better up your game, if you know what I mean. I saw them getting pretty up close and personal just now. Park was teaching her how to hold a bowling ball. I mean, who the fuck needs to learn that?”

“She can hold my balls if she wants,” Namjoon snickers, but then his face straightens when you glare at him. “It was a joke. Sorry. Please don’t report me to HR for sexual harassment.”

Sometimes you just want to quit your job. Not because of Bae Joohyun, but because of your fucking idiotic coworkers.

“Namjoon, you areHR,” you hiss at him with barely concealed patience.

Taehyung continues as if you’d asked for advice on your sex life with your non-existent baby daddy. “A little pregnancy sex never hurt anyone.”

You can’t quite concentrate on what he’s saying as you glance over at Jimin and his new girl turning their attention back to bowling, him picking out a ball and handing it to her, their hands brushing and the girl giggling. Your attention is focused on them, how Jimin stands behind her as she gets ready to bowl, the way she bends over and practically flashes the whole alley in her short skirt.

Meanwhile, Taehyung is still going on as if you’d asked about his sexual preferences. “Some men find it hot. I, in fact, would love to knock a chick up and then keep fucking her after. Something about that primal instinct, you know?”

When the girl hits five pins, she turns to Jimin with a squeal and raises her hands for a high five. Jimin returns it with a happy grin, but then somehow the whole affair escalates into a hug, and you frown.

“Shut up, Taehyung,” you are taking out your anger on him, but this stupid punk sure as hell deserves it anyway.

Taehyung holds up two hands at your sudden burst of anger. “Woah, I was only giving suggestions. Trying to help here.”

You leave him, still fuming and wanting nothing more than to get out of these fucking uncomfortable shoes. In actual fact, you have no idea why you’re this worked up. It’s not like you and Park Jimin have this exclusive agreement together. He’s free to flirt with anyone he likes.

But really, her? With the flippy hair and obnoxious voice? And while you’re supposed to be pregnant with his baby too? He’s practically cheating on you openly!! Never mind that you aren’t actually knocked up with his kid. It’s the principle of it all.

By the time you reach the counter to exchange your token for your locker key, your expression must have evolved into something truly frightening, because the poor girl manning the counter squeaks at you in fear when you bark out your locker number at her.

When you’re done changing your shoes, you head into the washroom for a bit to splash some water on your face so that you can cool down, and also to check if your period is here, but it’s not. A few minutes later when you leave, you find Park Jimin waiting outside, still in his bowling shoes, his cheeks flushed with exertion and his hair ruffled out of place.

“Are you okay?” He asks, then clears his throat. “I mean; did anything happen? While you were in there? Did your period come?”

You feel the urge to brush past him in annoyance. The whole of last week, the two of you had avoided each other; on one hand you were completely swamped with work, but on the other hand, there is also this awkwardness in between you that hadn’t existed before that fateful night. You still hadn’t directly addressed it yet, only skirted around the topic in hems and haws.

“No it didn’t,” you say, your voice small all of a sudden. “Who’s that girl in your lane?”

“Oh, Seulgi from Divorce Support,” Jimin says. “I was just teaching her how to bowl.”

There’s another awkward silence as the two of you avoid eye contact, and then you hear Seulgi’s high pitched voice calling Jimin’s name, asking him to come back and help her score another strike. Jimin is just about to respond back to her, but then you grab his collar and pull him into the secluded space just behind the female toilets, shutting him up with your lips on his.

His protests soon turn to muffled moans against you, and his hands come to circle your waist somewhat hesitantly, but the intention alone is enough for you. Breaking apart for air, you finally get a glimpse of how sinful Park Jimin looks, and flashbacks from that night revisit you once more. Plush, swollen lips parted mid gasp, cheeks red and flushed and his eyes that can’t stop devouring you whole.

“You should be teaching mehow to bowl,” you push him up against the wall for added emphasis. “I’m the one you knocked up, not her.”

Jimin gulps nervously as he feels your body press against him, and all the blood rushing down south that will soon make itself known against your lower belly. He tries to put a little bit of space in between your bodies so that he won’t embarrass himself, but you are relentless, pressing your breasts into his chest as your hand makes its way to the front of his pants.

“Yo-you aren’t really knocked up,” Jimin tries to protest weakly as you grab a handful of him, and he hardens immediately.

“I could be,” you shoot back. Aware that you don’t have much time, you pull down the zipper on his dress pants and reach inside to grope him lewdly over his underwear. “You knocked me up with your cock right here. Came inside me and filled me up so good.”

“Shit,” Jimin is panting harshly against your neck now, his hips twitching involuntarily as he feels himself soak the front of his underwear. “Wh-what’s got into you?”

“Your cum,” you say simply, watching his eyes widen again as you sink down to your knees, pulling his underwear the rest of the way down to expose the leaking head of his cock. In your previous one-night stand (the actual one), you regrettably didn’t have a chance to admire him properly, but now you’re going to make up for it.

His cock is thick from base to tip, the head of it already red and angry. You can feel your jaw ache just with the thought of deepthroating him all the way, yet you don’t even care if it’d make Park Jimin feel good.

Pushing his cock to lie flat on his belly, you give the underside a long, salacious lick that has Jimin gasping and sobbing already. You start from the bottom again and maintain eye contact as you kitten lick your way to his head again, and then you take him whole into your warm mouth, suckling him as his hands find their way into your hair.

“We- we can’t do this, we’re at work,” Jimin pants, his actions contradictory as his hip surge forward to chase the warmth of your mouth. All it does is showcase his less than ideal willpower when it comes to you.

“What would your Granny say? If she saw you flirting with another girl while the one you knocked up watches?” You squeeze his cock hard, causing Jimin to buck his hips with a groan.

“Pl-please don’t talk about my Granny when you’re sucking my cock,” Jimin protests as he pushes your head further down on his cock.

You let him push his cock down your throat, relaxing and breathing through your nose as you take him for a few seconds. Then you pull back with a wet, sloppy sound, his cock covered in your saliva and precum that drips onto your blouse as you swallow and breathe. “We aren’t at work right now. We’re at a bowling alley.”

And then your mouth is back on his cock, bobbing up and down as you give him the suck of his life, his taste salty on your tongue. One hand wraps around his girthy base as you suck the rest of him, and the other hand comes up to play with his balls. Jimin is all curses and breathy pants above you, his thick thighs trembling with pleasure as he struggles not to lose his balance, nor his load.

“Like it when I play with your balls like this, hmmm?” You pull yourself off his cock to watch the effect your words have on him, tugging on his balls that feel tight and heavy as you jerk him off with the other hand. “When was the last time you came, Minnie?”

The pretty column of his neck is drenched with sweat as he throws his head back against the wall, cock twitching in your grasp as Jimin struggles not to cum. The nickname makes his knees go weak and his voice is lost somewhere in his chest.

When he still doesn’t answer you, you turn and sink your teeth into his fleshy inner thigh, causing him to whine sharply.

“I’m waiting for an answer, Minnie.”

“L-last week,” he gasps out. “Wi-with you.”

“Someone’s been a good boy,” you resume your strokes of his cock as you lick his balls, causing his thighs to clench in response. “Are you sure you haven’t cum since? Didn’t stroke your cock like a dirty pervert and make a mess of yourself with your cum?”

“I-I promise, I didn’t!” Jimin peers down at you in the haze of his desperation and lust, only to see his precum coating your chin, red lipstick smeared all over, but yet you’ve never looked prettier.

Satisfied with his answer, and also how fucked out he looks within such a short span of you getting your mouth on his cock, you wrap your lips around his head again as you jerk the rest of him off, still cradling his balls with your other hand.

“I’m gonna cum,” comes Jimin’s half plea, half warning.

You double your efforts at jerking him off, opening your mouth to show him the head of his cock as it rests heavy on your tongue. That’s all it takes for Jimin to lose his load, his balls pulsing under your grasp as pretty white ropes of cum shoot decorate your tongue. Jimin can’t quite keep his eyes off the way your mouth fills with his seed, and the way you swallow down every drop of him, licking and cleaning his cock as if to make sure you get all of his cum.

When you make sure he’s clean, you press a light kiss to his oversensitive head. “Just remember. I was the one who sucked your cock and swallowed your cum today. Not Seulgi.”

Jimin reaches to tuck himself back into his pants, hands shaky and thighs still trembling. When you stand up and start to walk off without another word, he reaches for your waist to pull you back into him, wanting a taste of your lips after you swallowed his cum.

It’s bitter and sweet at the same time, and Jimin’s sinful moans only make your thighs clench together harder. When you pull apart, Jimin doesn’t let go of his arms around your waist.

“You have a thing for cum?” You raise an eyebrow at him, remembering him eating you out after he came inside you the last time as well. Most guys you’d been with in the past had no problem kissing you after eating you out, but turn it the other way around and they’d be utterly disgusted.

“It’s hot,” Jimin mutters as his eyes slide away from yours.

Recognizing the telltale signs of his embarrassment, you place your thumb on his chin to stop him from looking away. “It’s hot when you do it.”

Hearing you validate him makes him visibly relax in your arms. “What are we? I don’t think we’re coworkers anymore.”

There’s a brief pause as you are aware of how intimate this is, feeling the arousal still pooling in your underwear and feeling Park Jimin’s body warm against yours. There’s something about being in his arms like this that makes the rest of the world disappear.

“No, we aren’t,” you admit. “We… we could be something more. If you want.”

It’s your turn to be nervous now and you can feel your heart racing in your chest, already anticipating for the handsome golden boy to turn you down. Why would he want to be something more with you after all, when there are so many other pretty girls in the office for him to fuck around with?

“I want to. Be something more, that is.” Jimin smiles back, a cute little shy smile that makes your heart skip a million beats.

“_____! It’s been so long since I last saw you!” Granny welcomes you with a wide grin and comforting arms as she bundles you into her embrace. “You look so pretty! Glowing, as usual. Has our Jiminnie been treating you right? Hmmmm?”

Her tone rises into a slight warning as she glares over at her grandson, who is currently struggling with both your luggage a few feet behind.

“He’s been good, Granny,” you reassure her with a relaxed smile.

Granny invited the both of you to spend the long weekend at Jimin’s childhood home in the countryside which also now serves as a sort of vacation home for the Parks. You can’t even remember the last time you had a vacation, had the chance to pull out your flowy summer dresses and really let your hair down. Though this time, there’s another reason altogether for you to wear loose and flowy clothing.

You are ushered into the house to meet the rest of Jimin’s family; his parents and his brother welcome you as if you are already part of the family. They invite you to spectate a game of Wii Tennis, and it’s then that you realise that Jimin’s family are a bunch of heathens because they don’t wear the Wii remote strap while playing.

Jimin is paired up with his father, against his mother and brother. You are more than content to watch from the sides, nestled in beside Granny who feels as soft and comforting as your own mother. Her words, not so much, as she urges the Jimin and his brother to do better, why, if she joined the game she’d beat all their asses!!!

When Jimin’s side wins, the whole family claps and cheers as his mother stands up to give his father a kiss, and when they’re done, the whole family turns expectantly to you and Jimin.

“A kiss for the winner, that’s the prize!” Jimin’s mother says with a mischievous grin on her face.

Jimin fidgets on the spot, tips of his ears growing red as he protests. “Ma…”

“Oh come on, don’t be such prudes!” Granny chides the both of you. “You already did the nasty with each other. How else did my grandchild come into this world?”

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Jimin’s brother begins to chant with a shit eating grin on his face that reminds you of a certain co-worker.

Jimin is getting more and more embarrassed trying to fend his family off, but for you, it’s no big deal. It’s not like you and Jimin haven’t said or done more lewd things to each other. In a sense, Jimin’s Granny is right. The both of you already fucked. What is one tiny little kiss?

So with that, you pull a protesting, flustered Jimin closer to you and tiptoe to reach his lips, arms around him as you kiss him deeply, putting on a show for his family. Whoops and cheers celebrate the two of you, and though Jimin is stunned for a moment, he kisses you back just as passionately, letting his tongue meet your own as he tastes you.

When the two of you part for air, Jimin’s brother lets out a loud whoop, and Granny is still clapping. But poor little Jimin is as red as a tomato, and he tugs on your hand, mumbling something about showing you his room and retiring for the night.

You are still laughing and giggling over how embarrassed he is when Jimin closes his door behind the both of you, giving you a cute pout as he crosses his arms in indignance. But he’s too cute too pass up on, and you pinch his cheeks, squishing his face.

“Was my baby Jimin embarrassed?” You coo at him in a baby voice, grin lighting up your face as it gets him even more annoyed at you. Unfortunately for Jimin, (but luckily for you) he’s just that kind of person who gets even cuter when they are angry or upset.

“I’ve never kissed a girl in front of my Granny you know,” he turns his cheek at you as he goes to sit on his bed to continue sulking. “She’s seen me in my underpants when I was a kid!”

“So? I saw you in your underpants too,” you grin lewdly at him, laughing when he throws an arm over his face and groans in embarrassment.

When he hears your laughter, Jimin peeks out from behind his arm to see your face glowing and radiant, hair loose in waves around your face and looking… happy for the first time. Not stressed or worried about work, or in tears because Bae Joohyun humiliated you.

Just happy.

“You look really pretty like this,” Jimin admits in a small, shy voice.

You stop mid laugh to look at him properly. “Like what?”

“When you’re happy,” he clarifies. “When you laugh like that.”

“It’s when you make me laugh like this,” you look down at the pattern on his bedspread, tracing along it with your fingers. “I haven’t laughed like this in a long while. But ever since you came in, I… I don’t know. Mondays haven’t been so bad for me lately.”

The two of you are shy suddenly, and Jimin feels like he’s a teenager again, confessing to his crush in his childhood bedroom. Back then he always dreamed of bringing a girl back to his house and confessing to her, maybe even making out with her behind his parents’ back, but of course back then he wasn’t nearly cool enough to do any of that.

But seeing you look so soft and pretty in your dress that dips down at your neckline, giving him a good view of your cleavage, seeing you beside him on his bed, your attention focused on him solely makes him glad that all his childhood fantasies never happened, because he feels like they’re going to be fulfilled right now.

“Can I kiss you?” Jimin asks.

“Not shy anymore?” You tease him one last time before you lean in and capture your lips with his, and then Jimin is switching positions with you so that your hair fans out over his pillow, he is on top of you in between your legs.

“I want to do it properly,” Jimin scatters kisses down your neck and chest, one hand pinching your nipple through your thin dress. “The last time was rushed. And we were drunk. And we were still co-workers back then.”

Your strap slides off your shoulder sinfully as Jimin pleases himself by worshipping your breasts, kneading them and sucking your nipple through the material.

“I- I told you… we were never co-workers. From day one,” you retaliate against his teasing by pinching his nipple through his shirt with a devious smirk on your face.

“You mean we were fucked from day one?” Jimin grins back as he takes off his shirt in one smooth motion, baring his toned chest and slim abs for your viewing pleasure. Your hands are on him immediately, stroking his firm muscles and running your fingers over every inch of his beautiful skin.

Jimin hikes up your skirt, kissing his way up your thighs till he reaches your underwear. The scent of you is driving him insane, he can already see a wet spot on your panties even though he’s barely touched you. The thought of you getting so wet for him makes him even more eager to pleasure you, so he hooks his fingers into the side of your underwear, pulling it down to expose you to his gaze.

“I still owe you from the bowling alley,” he says when you tug at his hair impatiently, wanting to see his face, kiss his lips. With that as explanation, Jimin gives your core a sloppy lick before he seals his lips to you, French kissing your pussy and making sure he gets your clit with every stroke of tongue.

Your cries and moans are music to his ears; at this point he doesn’t even care if his family hears you anymore. Pulling your dress up to your waist so that you can see in between your thighs, the sight nearly sends you over the edge as you witness Park Jimin eating your pussy like a man starved, his chin glazed with your arousal as he laps everything up. His hands are on your inner thighs, opening you up for him even though your muscles spasm from the pleasure.

“Jimin- fuck! Please,” you are already begging as he assaults your clit with his tongue, circling it relentlessly. “Want your fingers. Please.”

“Want to feel me stretch you for my cock?” Jimin gives in with one finger first, slowly inserting it into you with care until you whine and thrash under his grasp in protest. “My baby wants more? What a greedy pussy you have.”

He embellishes this with a sharp spank on your clit, and your thighs twitch again as you cry out. Jimin gives you two fingers now, and the burn feels so good as he pumps in and out, his tongue occasionally flicking at your clit. Your arousal coats his fingers and his palm messily, starting to drip down onto his sheets, but Jimin figures that the both of you are going to get a lot messier before the night ends.

As you watch Jimin pleasure you with his fingers and tongue, all traces of the shy boy who was embarrassed to kiss you in front of his family are gone. The submissive side of him that gave in to your demands so easily at the bowling alley is also gone, in its place is a gentle but firm dominant who takes charge of your pleasure, and you love that he can switch between the two.

“Cum for me, let me see my baby cum on my fingers,” Jimin coaxes you as he speeds up his fingers, curling them to try and find that one rough spot inside you. “You made such a mess already.”

You can feel the edge right there, the knot so tight in your lower belly and just ready to burst. But words escape you, and all you can do is whine Jimin’s name. In response he wraps his thick plush lips around your clit, maintaining eye contact with you as he sucks,and then you come undone, legs going boneless as your back arches, clenching hard around his fingers as you ride out your orgasm.

Jimin helps you to calm down as he withdraws from your pussy, stroking your legs gently as he admires the glow on your face, your fucked out expression as you breathe deeply. His own cock is straining against his jeans, and he is dying to feel your pussy wrapped around him.

When you finally regain your senses and open your eyes, you see the uncomfortable looking tent in Jimin’s jeans, reaching for it immediately to give him his own release. Jimin shifts his body so that his thighs can fall open, and you pull his jeans off, revealing his thick thigh muscles that you straddle as you get his cock out of his soaked boxers.

“Wait,” Jimin stops you with a hand on your waist. “We need a condom. We still don’t know if… if you’re pregnant. From last time.”

Your cheeks heat up as you swallow back the guilt. After bowling, when you went home that night, your period had come, just one day late, but you didn’t tell Jimin. Upon the sight of blood staining your underwear, there was a strange sense of disappointment that bloomed in your chest, and it confused you so much that you didn’t have the bandwidth to even think about telling Jimin what this meant. You had to take time to process both the consequence of not being pregnant, as well as the unprecedented feelings of disappointment that came with it.

“Um… actually, my period came last week.” You say after taking a deep breath.

Jimin raises an eyebrow as he takes in the news. “So it means… you’re not pregnant.”

“I’m not,” you agree with him, and you want to keep going, but the words are just stuck in your chest.

“The first time we were risking it, but I was just thinking…” Jimin picks up on your hesitation, his own words coming out slowly. “If we should… if we should start trying. For real.”

Jimin is completely serious as he returns your gaze, biting his lip in uncertainty.

“You mean… try to get pregnant? Intentionally?” You’re aware that you’re just repeating his words, but some part of you needs to confirm it.

“Yeah,” Jimin says as he strokes your waist, and you’re fully aware of his cock twitching as he says his next words. “I want to have a baby with you.”

Your breath is sucked out of your chest as the impact of his words hit you, and arousal aside, you feel your stomach fill with butterflies.

“That is… if you want to as well,” Jimin scratches the back of his neck nervously. “I mean, I don’t want to pressure you into anything-“

“I want to,” you interrupt him, reassuring him with a grind of your hips. “I want to have your baby. We’re about three months late, but I think if we start trying real hard now, this baby will get made and we won’t be too far behind.”

Jimin’s cock twitches again, giving away how aroused he is, but he doesn’t give a fuck anymore. Hearing you say that has awakened a fantasy in him that he didn’t even know existed. No longer is he going for the low hanging fruit of just kissing a girl in his childhood bedroom. No, he’s going to make a baby in his childhood bedroom.

You pump him with a few strokes, watching the precum bubble up from his head and run down his girthy length, admiring how hard he is for you. His length feels so heavy in your palm, and your mouth waters as you remember how much better he felt in your mouth, how salty and thick his cum was as he released down your throat.

Just as you bend down to give yourself a repeat ride, Jimin stops you with a hand on your cheek, his own cheeks rosy and embarrassment creeping back in as he says, “You’ll get a mouthful of cum if you do that. As much as I want you to swallow my cum, you’re not getting pregnant that way.”

And then he’s back in charge as he flips you over, spreading your legs wide and resting them on his shoulders as your pussy leaks your arousal. Jimin uses the head of his cock to collect all your juices, teasing your clit before he prods at your entrance. The blunt head of him nudges in slowly, and the stretch makes the both of you moan.

Your legs are trembling, hands reaching out for something to hold on to as Jimin bottoms out inside you. You don’t remember him feeling so big inside you, stretching you out so good and going so deep that you can feel him at the base of your lower abdomen. When you look down, you realise that there is a small bump there, and Jimin is watching that exact spot as well.

“Feel so good and tight, my baby was made to take my cock,” he praises as he intertwines his hands with yours, forcing them above your head as he begins to thrust. His cock slides in and out of your drenched pussy easily, and your walls grip him so tightly that Jimin never wants this moment to end.

Jimin leans forward so that your thighs are pushed to your chest, making the fit even tighter around his cock. Your pussy is already clenching around him, and your breasts are bouncing, cheeks flushed red and lips swollen and shiny from his precum and saliva.

“Harder, fuck me harder Jimin,” you groan as he punishes you with his thrusts, every slap of his thighs against yours reminds you that the both of you are fucking to make a baby. Just watching the sweat drip off his chest, his abs tense and feeling his ass flex as he fucks into your pussy with the full intention of giving you a baby, hisbaby, makes your pussy cream uncontrollably around his cock.

“Does my baby like this?” Jimin gives a harsh thrust and bends your legs back till he can feel your cervix. “Fuck, you’re driving me fucking crazy. Wanna give you a baby so bad. You’re fucking asking for it, asking to get filled with cum.”

“I want it, Jimin,” you gasp as you feel him against the entrance of your womb; Jimin is giving you no mercy as he continues to aim his thrusts deep as he can go. “Want your baby. It’s all I ever wanted.”

Jimin lets your legs fall off his shoulders as he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you into him, as his thrusts increase in power and speed. Your legs wrap around him tightly as if to keep him from pulling out, so all Jimin can do his grind the head of his cock against your cervix, feeling himself twitch as his orgasm draws near.

“I’m not gonna last, cum with me please,” he begs, mouth open and kissing your neck as he buries his face in the crook of your shoulder.

“I’m close, just a little more, fuck,” you loosen your thighs a little so that Jimin can thrust a little more, and the movement of him brushing against your clit sends you into an orgasm, clenching hard around him as you cry out his name and your walls milk him dry for every drop.

Jimin groans as he feels his balls tighten up, filling you up with cum as he thrusts to get every drop right where it should be. “Take it all, take my cum and give me a baby. That’s what my girl wants right?”

“Yes, yes!” You whine as you feel the warmth of his cum in your pussy, his frenzied thrusts as he rides out the last of his orgasm, making sure he gives you everything he has.

Jimin’s face is still buried in your neck as his hips continue to fuck his cum into you, hearing the filthy squelch as he tilts your hips up so that not a single drop can escape. The leisurely thrusts feel intimate as you hug him close to you, feeling his soft breaths against your skin as your legs wrap around his waist, feeling him finally still with his cock still deep inside you. Everything is warm and sticky, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A few minutes pass before you realise that Jimin is perfectly content to have his cock plug your pussy up with cum, and while the thought kind of turns you on, he’s heavy, and you nudge him off you with your knee. Jimin pouts as he settles beside you, still drawing you closer to him as he lifts one of your thighs to get a better look at the mess he made of you.

“It’s all coming out,” he says in a disappointed whine as his fingers scoop out the frothy white cum that spilled out of you because of his fucking, gently pushing it back into you. But he can’t resist a little taste, bringing his fingers to his lips for a second.

“Jimin! Stop stealing my baby batter,” you grab his wrist to stop him, shoving it back toward your thighs.

“That’s the least sexy word for cum I’ve ever heard,” he frowns disapprovingly at you. “Stay there, don’t move. You need to keep your hips up.”

Jimin pushes a pillow under your hips, and whilst you’re rendered immobile, he takes the chance to sneakily lap at your inner thighs, cleaning up some of the cum that he didn’t manage to push into you. You glare at him, reaching down to tug at his hair, but then-

“Stay safe, kids!” It’s his father’s voice from down the hallway.

“Why do they need to stay safe? She’s already having his kid!” You hear Granny’s voice a second later, and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “No need to stay safe, Puppy! You heard me? It’s good for the baby!”

You glare at Jimin, then push your chin toward his door, expecting him to answer his Granny.

Jimin mouths a ‘what’ at you in exasperation, his lust filled brain unable to think of a single appropriate response for this situation. Finally, he forces a cheery tone as he shouts back, “we will, Granny! Night Granny!”

Your head falls back into the pillow with a groan at how lame he is.

You’re most definitely not looking forward to breakfast tomorrow.

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