#but fully support my new headcanon that sometimes she just gets so fucking pissed off she forgets what language she's supposed to be using

[keyofjetwolf]

oh my god is this entire next part “And this is what should have been fucking happening while Mamoru was being an asshole” AND DOES IT FEATURE REI EVISCERATING HIM

I’M GETTING TO SEE THIS AND I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO WRITE IT WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GIFT AND IT’S NOT EVEN MY BIRTHDAY I MAY CRY

#jet wolf reads shadowjack watches sailor moon #i have no idea why rei is calling mamoru stupid in spanish #but fully support my new headcanon that sometimes she just gets so fucking pissed off she forgets what language she's supposed to be using

[tainted-wine]

Caring For Your Hormonally-Charged Bird

Hawks x Reader (NSFW)

(I didn’t mean for this to turn into a monster with over 7k words, but I finally finished it. This is based off of my mutant headcanons and also takes some inspiration from user kazooli’s awesome thirst posts about Hawks. Happy Springtime, everyone!)

Edit: Now there’s a Part 2!

------------------------------

The songs of lovestruck birds rang across the streets. Freshly bloomed cherry blossoms rained petals down onto the pavement. Butterflies and bees hovered around the flourishing flowers. It was undoubtedly a beautiful day. Too bad you had to spend it in an office with an oncoming headache. A familiar voice spoke behind you.

“Wow, look at that. I don’t know what’s more gorgeous; the scenery outside or the lady staring at it.”

Hawks’s charm doesn’t affect you when he has pissed you off so many times in such a short span.

You’ve had the ‘privilege’ of working for the Hero Public Safety Commission for several years, from supporting public events to endless desk work. The pay was generous and life was overall more comfortable. All you had to do to stay on their good side was comply with every demand, ignore the condescending tones of the bigwigs, and turn a blind eye whenever you witnessed the occasional sketchy practice.

When they offered you a job as the personal handler of one of the top heroes of Japan, you almost fainted. You have always been a fan of Hawks. Fast, handsome, charismatic, he may not have the godly strength of All Might, yet he still felt just as flawless. You’ve been helping and guiding the winged young man since last summer and learned that he’s even more than what you imagined. He wasn’t just good-looking, he wasn’t just a sweet-talker…

He was also a fucking nightmare to work with.

You turned around to see said man ogling you a bit more than you were used to, his trademark crooked smile on his face, but you ignored that and went straight to business. “Your carelessness is trending again for the third time this week, Hawks.”

He drew a sharp breath in an exaggerated gasp. “Again? Oh, what could they possibly be on my ass for this time? Was I smacking on chicken wings too loudly in public? Did they catch the moment I almost flew into that crystal-clear window?”

You whipped out your phone, already prepared to show him a news page with a rather shocking photo. A man with an elegant and sleek appearance was beaten and bruised, his dazzling peacock tail fanned out behind him. The attacker was none other than Hawks, who was gripping the other man by the collar, his wings fully spread out with several sharpened feathers floating around his victim as an unnecessary precaution. It was a very aggressive display.

‘HAWKS LAYS SMACKDOWN ON PERVERTED PEACOCK’ was the headline.

“This is beyond excessive force. You could have just as easily restrained him with your quirk.” You scolded, fixing him with the steely authoritarian stare that you’ve been working on.

Hawks flinched, but you couldn’t tell if he was just playing with you or not. “Ma’am! I was simply defending the girl’s honor! She was very clearly uncomfortable and besides, wouldn’t flashing his tail like that be considered indecent exposure?” Yeah, that tone told you that he was clearly not intimidated.

“No, and even if it did, indecency and harassment wouldn’t excuse such a violent subduing. Furthermore,” you gestured at his threatening wing display in the photo. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were demonstrating similar behavior.”

He simply shrugged. “Just showing him who the bigger bird is around here.”

Your eye twitched. “For God’s sake, Hawks, you’re not an animal. Part of my job is ensuring that you maintain a friendly image that will keep the public at ease. This is not friendly. Shall I go through some of the comments for examples?” You scrolled down and cleared your throat in preparation. “Anyone else put off by how violent Hawks looks here? I didn’t know he had it in him to beat someone down like that. He’s usually all about being quick and efficient.” You scrolled down to the next one. “What’s the deal with Hawks? I was there and it was like watching a cockfight.” You clicked on a reply to that particular comment. “I know, right? I always wanted to meet Hawks in person, but after that, I was honestly too scared to-”

“Hold on, babe, I know you’re cherry-picking here,” Hawks, the little bastard, had taken out his own phone while listening to your reading. “Because those are nothing like my personal faves that I found on my Tweeter page.” You watched with silent frustration as his eyes scanned his phone until he found what he was looking for. “Ah, here we go. ‘Oh my GAWD, that look, those spread wings, he looks like such a beast!” He had raised the pitch of his voice for a mock feminine tone. “Leave it to Hawks to make all of us women feel safe. That pervert deserves to lose a few more teeth.’ Oh, and here’s the winner right here. ‘Just as I always expected, that hunk of a bird knows how to dominate. I can just imagine him towering over me, giving that same look while I take his big fat-”

“Hawks.”

He paused, but his shit-eating grin didn’t fade when he noticed your head being held in one of your hands. You hoped he didn’t notice that you were trying to hide the red that crept into your cheeks.

“…cock.”

You groaned loudly enough to most definitely be heard outside of the office. There truly were days when he would cut you some slack and be easy to deal with, but he has become downright unbearable for the past few weeks. His teasing has increased ten fold, yet he’s also been keeping his distance from you for whatever reason. It had taken you a while to notice, but he was normally more than happy to get in your face and ruin your professional act, but now, even when you’re the one trying to approach, he would casually step back to prevent the gap between you from closing.

And then it hit you.

Shit, it shouldn’t have taken you this long to connect the dots. You had even noticed how his wings appeared to be a shade brighter for the past few days, but dismissed it as a trick of the light. No, he had grown in his spring plumage.

“Uh, babe? You still there? Did the ‘C’ word break you?” Watching you stare into space was getting him a little concerned.

“You’re rutting,” was your simple reply.

Hawks’s face flashed into something more serious for a split second before giving a ‘tsk’ and looking away. “Took you long enough,” he scoffed. “Surprised the Commission hasn’t fired you for letting me go wild for so long. They must not have any replacements available right now.”

“Watch it,” you ordered. You pondered for a moment before asking, “Have you not been taking your hormonal medication? I know that you’ve been prescribed some for this time of year.”

He sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck, as if he was the one who should be feeling annoyed right now. Bitch, please. “Sometimes,” he muttered.

“Sometimes? They don’t work if you only take them sometimes, Hawks. I know you’re a busy hero, but you can put some effort into keeping track of your dosage.”

“Look,” it was the first time you’ve seen a genuine scowl on his face, the expression taking you back. “I just really hate that stuff, okay? They sap all of my energy and I put on a few extra pounds.”

You shook your head at his complaints. “Is that really worse than what you’re dealing with right now?”

“Yes. I’d rather be a horndog than a slug that doesn’t even have the will to move. It wouldn’t even be so bad if I could just sleep around every now and then, but that’s more trouble than it’s worth. I don’t wanna make your job that miserable.” He eyed you up and down for a minute, while you tried not to shy away from his piercing gaze. “Or I could find just one loyal partner that will help me scratch the itch?”

You stepped back, your heart racing at the unspoken request. “E-excuse me?” you stuttered.

Hawks raised his hands harmlessly. “Hey now, it’s just a suggestion. I’m pretty into you, you’re obviously into me, this could work out pretty well.”

An array of emotions were flowing through you, but you were more upset than anything else. “And what exactly makes you think I’ve been ‘into you’, as you’ve said?” Denial. You’re pretty sure that’s what this is. You know that you’ve been attracted to him since before you even met, but you weren’t going to let this overgrown brat have his way.

His sudden burst of laughter startled you. “You’re kidding, right? I still remember that look you had the first time we were in this room together, and it wasn’t the innocent ‘I wanna support my favorite hero’ look,” He was willingly approaching you for the first time in what felt like forever, every step sounding like thunder to your ears. “It was a ‘bend me over the desk and fuck me’ look.”

You were the one stepping back this time. You wanted to remind him not to use such foul language, to berate him for making such vulgar claims, but your voice was caught in your throat.

“We’d be doing each other a favor, right?” he continued, wings slowly expanding. “Keeping me in top shape is part of your job, isn’t it? I promise you that I’m gonna feel a lot better after this.”

You bumped into his desk, leaning back slightly as he finally closed the distance. His wings draped around each side of you, filling your peripheral vision with pure red. His face was only inches away from yours as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

“You’ve been smelling so damn good lately. Been afraid that I just might pounce you if I get too close.”

A thickly gloved hand reached out and cupped your face with such a surprising amount of tenderness, you couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel bare. You were so entranced by his lustful gaze that you couldn’t find it in you to resist as he leaned in, feeling his hot breath as his lips drew closer to yours.

The door busted open accompanied by a shout. “Hawks sir! Your help has been requested at-OH!”

A genuine growl rumbles through Hawks’s throat and damn, that makes you tremble. By the time he turns toward the stumbling sidekick, he was already back to his cool and friendly self.

“Don’t stop on my account, buddy,” he beamed the younger man with an unwavering smile. “What’s the request?”

———

The next day, you tried very hard to pretend that little office incident never happened. You were not going to let something so unprofessional ever happen again. That was a promise.

Hawks, on the other hand, was being a persistent bastard. You were determined to win this battle. If he wanted the urges to go away so badly, then he can take his damn medication like he always has, not use your lack of authority and experience as an excuse to rebel. The only reason you haven’t informed the Commission about this is because you know that your head will be on the chopping block as well as Hawks’s. You will most definitely be in some shit once they realize that you can’t keep their most prized possession in check.

And to be fair, as the week went on, you really were wondering if you were cut out for this job. With his wings getting more vibrant, his advances becoming more frequent, and his feral rivalry against other men growing more severe, Hawks has officially become too unruly for you to handle, and you’re the goddamned handler. You couldn’t lose this job! What if they terminated you completely and you couldn’t get another position from the Commission?

You paced back and forth in the empty office. Hawks was late this morning, leaving you alone with your endless worries. He may act lazy, but he was never actually late for his meet ups. Looks like you’ll have to call him and pray that nothing serious has happened.

You jumped when your phone vibrated before you even reached into your pocket. Ah, looks like Hawks reached out before you did. You held your phone up, prepared to answer, and froze.

It wasn’t Hawks. It was the deputy, the very man that was kind enough to give you this job. He hasn’t called you since your first few days here to help get you started. With your progress, you doubt he was calling to give you a raise.

Well, as much as you wanted to throw the phone out of the window and find an appropriate place to bury yourself, you didn’t make it this far by cowering from these guys. Taking a deep breath, you picked up and greeted the man on the other side with a steady voice. “Good morning, Deputy.”

He addressed you with the same bored and unimpressed tone that you hear from every member in this cursed organization. Jeez, if you keep working here long enough, are you going to eventually sound as soulless as them? “I assume you are aware of Hawks’s current condition?” he asked.

Dammit. “My apologies, sir. I know that I have been neglectful of Hawks’s health and his behavior during this time. I have been doing my best t-”

“That isn’t the issue I am talking about, but thank you for confirming that you have indeed failed in keeping Hawks’s unsavory habits under control.” You flinched. Way to rat yourself out. “Hawks had managed to find and subdue the troublesome villain Libido.”

“Ah, of course. I have been informed of that, sir.” Libido was a cunning little criminal that has been causing trouble all over the city of Fukuoka. His ‘Love Breath’ quirk gave him the ability to exhale fumes with powerful aphrodisiacal qualities. The guy even made his own gas bombs, releasing them among unsuspecting crowds in the public. He was less of a villain and more of just a chaos-loving hoodlum that was too slippery for his own good.

The deputy carried on. “One of the sidekicks has told us that Hawks was exposed to his quirk.”

Oh. Oh dear. That’s some strong stuff to be subjected to.

“We have ordered Hawks to go home immediately and wait patiently instead of heading to a hospital. We will be sending treatment his way.”

Some of the tension left your body. “That’s good to know, sir. May I ask what kind of treatment he will be taking? I know I haven’t convinced you yet, but I want to do anything I can for his well being.” You hesitantly asked. Please, oh please let me make up for everything that has been happening.

You heard a faint chuckle from the other end. “That’s very good to know, because the treatment is you.”

You’re glad he couldn’t see the confusion on your face. “I’m sorry, sir. Are you saying I’ll be the one to doctor him? I’ll need to know what medicine he needs and how much rest he’ll be expected to-”

“Do you know how people affected by aphrodisiac quirks are normally treated?” he interrupted you for the second time. He didn’t even give you a chance to answer before continuing. “Given your questions, I’m assuming that you don’t. We can indeed offer drugs to weaken the effects, but Hawks will still be in great distress and will take a long time to recover, especially since he’s neglected to take his hormone medication with the help of an incompetent handler.” Ugh, you get it already. You screwed up. “But the quickest and most efficient remedy is, without a doubt, sexual contact and allowing the quirk to run its course. That is what we expect you to provide for him.”

What.

You took a full minute to collect your thoughts and ensure that you heard everything correctly. The deputy waited patiently. How kind of him. Once you gathered yourself, you conjured the most constructive response you could think of.

“Huh?”

An overly loud sigh sounded in your ear. Hey, it’s his fault for dropping this bomb of a request on you. “We can’t have the number two hero out of action for too long. The alternative is to strap him to a bed and sedate him for an uncertain amount of time. His rut has enhanced the quirk’s effects; this may even strengthen his arousal for the rest of the season.”

Your face paled. That sounds ten times worse than the way Hawks was already acting. “So, if I were to…be with him,” you blushed at the very thought. “That would provide the best relief?”

“That is the gist of it. You told me you would do anything for Hawks’s well being. Can I hold you to that?”

Your pounding heart was almost drowning out his voice. You didn’t mean to corner yourself like this. “O-of course. I’ll see what I can, um, do.” This discussion was getting uncomfortable.

“I didn’t expect you to be so hesitant. You’re a loyal fan of his, aren’t you? You should be thrilled. Few fangirls get this opportunity.” He laughed at his own joke. You sure as hell weren’t laughing with him.

“Yeah, of course, sir,” you grumbled. “I suppose I shouldn’t leave Hawks alone for too long. I’ll be on my way soon.”

“Excellent,” he said. “You’ll need to take some precautions, of course. Here’s what you need to keep in mind…”

———

You walked out of the local pharmacy, cradling the pills tightly to your chest like some sort of security blanket. The deputy’s advice echoed in your head.

“It’s best that you take contraceptives. Hawks’s mind will be clouded with feral cravings, such as the urge to breed. He is not going to accept condoms.”

You tossed the pills onto the passenger seat in your car.

“Again, Hawks is suffering from both the magnified effects of Libido’s quirk and his annual rut. It’s possible that he will not be of sound mind. If things get out of hand, you have the right to protect yourself.” the deputy paused for a moment. “Just try not to leave any marks on him, if you can. Hawks must look presentable at all times.”

Well, you did have a stun gun that you thankfully never had to use, and hopefully it will stay that way.

The deputy’s help made you way more anxious than before. Were you about to have sex with a horny man, or tame a dangerous beast? You still didn’t know what to make of this predicament.

You take your phone and select Hawks’s number. It’s probably best not to surprise him at his door. Hopefully he wasn’t too riled up and ignores your call.

The phone rings once, then twice, then you hear…whimpers? Shit, was it getting that bad?

“Hawks? Are you there?” you asked calmly.

“Babe.” Goodness, his voice was rough. He sounds like he just ran across the country. “Oh thank God. Talk dirty to me, baby.”

“Wha—no.” This was a mistake. You really weren’t prepared for such levels of horniness. He just blurted that out like it was nothing! “Look, um, I heard your urges are becoming too much to handle. I’m heading on over there to…help you.”

For a while you just heard what sounded like breathless laughs and weeping. Hearing him in such a fragile state had you genuinely concerned. “Y’serious? We’re-ah-we’re gonna fuck?” He was panting heavily between words.

Heat was gathering in your face. “Yes, that’s the plan.”

“Oh, fuck yeah. Get over here-fuck-so I can stuff you, babe. You’re gonna be mine. Oh I can’t wait to fucking have you.” This sounded like a goddamned porno and you couldn’t handle it. There was a strange sound in the background as he rambled, something like wet smacks. You kept hearing it in sync with his grunts and…

Oh.

“Just hang in there, alright?” You said quickly, wanting to end this call right now. “I’m coming.”

“Well, I’m not. My hand’s really not doin’ it for me. Gotta be inside you, babe. Gotta cum in that tight-“

You hung up.

You banged your head against the steering wheel harder than intended, but at least the pain got your mind off of…whatever all of that was. You can’t believe you just heard your favorite hero breathlessly talking about how he wants to bang you while jerking off. You didn’t know it was possible to feel this mortified, but that wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was the tingle between your legs.

Hawks, one of the top heroes of Japan, the heartthrob of the generation, was lusting for you. It had you both excited and on edge. You remember the deputy’s comment.

“You’re a loyal fan of his, aren’t you? You should be thrilled. Few fangirls get this opportunity.”

You probably would indeed be thrilled if the circumstances were less dire. Your fantasies normally involved something simpler and more romantic, not saving him from his own sex-hazed mind. You still weren’t sure what you were walking into, and that was admittedly a different kind of excitement.

There was no time to waste with the state Hawks was in. Calming your nerves, you started your car and began taking the route to his place.

———

Here you are, at the doorstep of Hawks’s house. His place was surprisingly humble for a top hero, it made this encounter just a little less nerve-wracking. Pressing a finger to the buzzer, you waited anxiously, rocking back and forth on your heels. You really hope he’ll be dressed decently when he answers the door.

Your heart skips once you hear a click and the doorknob twists. It feels like it takes an eternity for the door to open and reveal…nobody.

Instead, you were greeted by a small flock of feathers suspended in the air. They slowly floated a distance away from you before stopping, as if they were waiting for something. You cautiously stepped inside, some of the feathers closing the door behind you. You don’t know what type of welcome you were expecting, but it wasn’t this. The feathers guided you, drifting up a flight of stairs and into a room with its door hanging open. You can hear harsh breathing inside, reigniting your fear. “Hawks?” You hesistantly called out without getting any closer.

A cracking voice cried out your name. “Help me. It fucking hurts. I’m so hot. Make it stop.” He sounded like he was crying. The desperate pleas prompted you to mask your fears for the umpteenth time and approach the room, taking in the sight of the man that has been waiting for you.

Hawks was naked, not to your surprise, but still to your absolute horror. He sat on his bed, skin glistening with sweat and a deep blush spreading throughout his upper body, making him look more feverish than aroused. His chest heaved with the irregular breaths that left his hanging mouth. His hair was even more unruly as usual, some of his locks sticking to his damp face. Your eyes locked onto his, pupils dilated and looking right through you.

He looked awful.

You came closer, trying your best not to stare at the very swollen and throbbing member between his legs. “I’m sorry,” you said softly, stopping right in front of him. “I didn’t think it would get this bad. I-I want to help. Just tell me what to do.”

He was on his feet the moment you finished, nude body just inches away from yours, but you kept your feet planted where they were. As his large wings slowly opened and enclosed around you, you noticed how brilliantly hued his feathers have become, practically glowing a vivid scarlet. It was captivating.

Two clammy hands came up to hold your face, the same hands he was furiously pleasuring himself with just a moment ago holy shit, and his mouth was on yours before you could even react. You gasped in shock of it all, allowing his tongue to slip past your lips. It was less of a kiss and more of just him hungrily ravaging every inch of your mouth, your own tongue wrestling with his to keep him away from the back of your throat. One of his arms lowered to wrap around your waist and pull you flush against his bare form, making you yelp when you felt his erection pressing against you. Hawks’s dick was on you.

You were too overwhelmed by his restless mouth and his DICK to notice the stray feathers hovering over you. A tug and a loud rip made you jolt. Hawks held you still, the sound of expensive fabric tearing making you flinch as your skin was slowly being exposed. The feathers were shredding your clothes.

You pulled away from his suffocating mouth just enough to take a breath and attempt to speak. “Hawks! Wha—” only for him to smother you once again.

“Don’t move,” he uttered between kisses. “Don’t want to cut you.”

With a few more slashes, your cherished suit was now scattered on the carpet in tatters, revealing your body to him, but the feathers weren’t done. The floating blades carefully slid under your panties and bra. You stood completely still, Hawks kissing you with less aggression in an attempt to soothe you as the feathers sliced through the last of your clothes. You were now just as bare as him. He simply held you tightly, face rubbing against yours with the occasional lick against your heated skin. Your eyes were closed shut, unable to process his frantic tongue, his surrounding body that felt like fire, his cock that was now pressed to your stomach you were going to drop dead holy shit.

“Smell so good. Tastes so good.” he groaned, still sounding short of breath. His mouth went down to your neck, sucking at it hungrily and giving the occasional nip, forcing a faint moan out of you. He continued his descent and reached your breasts, molding them roughly and attacking your nipples with hard sucks. Despite the rough treatment, a tight heat was building up in your abdomen, your hands cradling his head as he explored you. He ventured lower, now on his knees with his face right at your womanly mound.

Your heart was pounding when he leaned in, his nose lightly touching you as he drew in a long breath and giving a pleased sighed. His nose pressed in further and poked at your glistening pussy, your thighs clenching in surprise while he happily took in your scent. Fuck, he was really just kneeling between your legs and smelling you. You were ready to protest and tell him that this was getting too embarrassing before something wet and hot slid against your folds, replacing your planned words with a yelp.

Hawks apparently approved of your taste, strong hands grasping the back of your thighs as he brought you in closer to fully devour you. Your cries were impossible to hold in while he lapped at you, mind becoming too clouded with pleasure to stay modest. He moaned loudly into you, the erotic sound vibrating against you, tongue fondling every inch of your folds before his lips closed around them, sucking greedily and almost making your knees collapse. You were getting close, grasping onto his head in a desperate attempt to stay balanced, his mouth now assaulting your sensitive bud. Your blissful whimpers joined the filthy sounds of his feasting when your orgasm washed over you like throbbing magma. Once your legs lost the last of their strength, Hawks set you down gently on the floor, still licking your sensitive lips.

“Ah, Hawks…too much…” You whined weakly.

He got the message and pulled away to immediately climb over you, giving you a clear view of his face glistening with your juices. Bright wings were fully spread out once more; it feels like you were about to be taken by an angel, the most savage angel you could ever imagine.

He came down for a sloppy kiss, spreading your own womanly nectar all over your lips. “Hope you’re nice and ready now. Ready to take everything I’ve got.” He mumbled against your mouth. You couldn’t help but smile and feel grateful that even in such a frenzied state, he was still kind enough not to jump you the moment you were within sight.

You brought a hand up to caress the side of his face, watching his eyes flutter shut as he leaned into your touch like the needy animal that he was at the moment. His body was still unnaturally hot and he was still breathing harshly. It’s time to finally give this poor man some relief.

“Go ahead, Hawks. I’m all yours.” You were indeed ready for everything he has.

Hawks said no more, gripping himself and aiming right for your opening. The moment his head was pushing past your lips, he thrust forward, filling you completely and knocking the wind out of you.

You honestly thought he came right then and there with the totally profane howl that left him. “Fuck…!” he choked, looking on the verge of tears. Despite the seemingly paralyzing pleasure, he wasted no time in moving, his pace quickening at an alarming rate. Your pussy was still sensitive from his wonderful licking, his dick currently sending painfully powerful shocks that you just weren’t ready for, and yet heat began to pool within your core for a second time. Your arms were wrapped around his sweaty form, nails biting into his skin and forcing rugged grunts out of his throat.

The wet slaps of your bodies rang throughout the room, your limbs quivering as he pumped into you faster, his heavy balls slapping against your ass, full and prepared to pour every drop of its contents into your womb. Hawks had buried his head into the crook of your neck, letting you feel every breathless moan right against your ear.

All you could do was hold on and take the increasingly rough pounding. His rhythm was sloppy from the start, but the thrusts were becoming even more irregular as a sign that he was already reaching his peak. Not surprising, given the state that he’s been in all day. One well-aimed thrust hits your sweet spot, making you moan loudly against him.

The sound eggs him on, driving his hips at a bruising pace and fuck it feels so good it hurts. Your eyes shut tightly as another orgasm breaks free, your feminine walls clamping around Hawks, squeezing his own climax out of him. You gasped at the powerful throbs of his cock as it shot out stream after stream of cum inside you. The purely animalistic growl that rumbled through him had you shaking in the best way while you watched his wings twitch and flap, hitting you with a light gust.

After an impressive amount of spurts, Hawks collapsed on top of you. He was heavy, but having his weight on you like this was pretty nice. You rubbed soothing circles around his back, listening to the rather inhuman cooing sounds he made in response.

You just had sex with Hawks, your favorite hero and the very man you were paid to look after. Oh man, how badly have you screwed up your relationship? Not that you two had much of a bond in the first place, but now things will most certainly get even more awkward.

A twitch inside you interrupted your thoughts. What the hell? Hawks’s breathing was accelerating again as he suddenly lifted his weight off of you, and that’s when you realized even though he came, he was still hard.

With newfound energy, he pushed your thighs towards your chest and rammed into you before you could even register what was happening. His new angle had you seeing stars with each thrust, hitting you even deeper than before. The sensation was dizzying, your overstimulated body beginning to throb all over. Hawks had the most obscene expression on his face, glazed eyes watching your tits bounce while his mouth hung open, drool trailing down his chin. You didn’t know such a look existed outside of adult videos, and having it aimed at you was enhancing your stinging pleasure.

Looking down granted you the view of his drenched dick pushing into you, each slam of his hips rocking you into the carpet, which honestly burned like ouch. Thankfully Hawks was reaching his tipping point once again, his hips moving at a bruising pace before one final smack. You were spoiled with another wonderful image of his head thrown back as a choked moan escaped him, another round of cum shooting into you.

He finally slid out of you as he sat back to catch his breath, wings limply dropping to his sides. Finally. You didn’t know how much more your womanhood could take. The strain of moving your legs made you wince. Did he have to pin you so roughly?

Hawks watched silently as you pushed yourself up. You felt behind your back and…dammit, you really did bruise back there. Maybe you should go find a mirror; hopefully it didn’t look too bad. You noticed that Mr. Horny Wings continued to just stare, pupils still enlarged and his dick was still hard what the fuck. He suddenly shifted onto all fours and crawled behind you. The light brush of fingers over your blemished skin made you shiver. They weren’t big enough to be that painful, but you still hissed when he applied a little too much pressure, making him pull away.

“Sorry.” His voice was still raspy as he apologized.

You shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Could’ve been wor—AH!”

Hawks shoved you forward, manhandling you until you were properly on your hands and knees. Fuck, your entire lower body was starting to ache, and here he was, ready to go another round. The head of his still-swollen dick was already pressing at your entrance. Grasping your hips, he pushed past your puffy lips and re-entered your heat. You bit your bottom lip and took the limitless strength in his hips, his balls sometimes smacking right into your clit and bringing you closer to your next climax.

His pace slowed down briefly in order to lower himself and suck at your bruises. “Nnngh, fuck, Hawks!” The combined pain and pleasure had your insides burning. He moaned and panted into your back, kissing up to your neck and sucking there as well. A pair of strong arms wrapped around your torso, pressing your body against his in an intimate embrace as he plunged into you more deeply.

It was impossible to not moan after each stroke. His face rested on your shoulder, and you reached behind to bury a hand in his hair. Shit, this was all getting so intimate. He was holding you and was so close, you could feel the ripple of his muscles as he caressed every inch of your inner walls. Your third burst of pleasure had you quivering against him as he continued to chase his own orgasm, stars appearing in your vision with each thrust. Hawks sank his teeth into your neck before bottoming out and releasing more cum inside you.

Both of you were lost in your sensual spasms before you collapsed. Hawks didn’t lay on you completely this time, his sweat-soaked form crouched over you, close enough to still be inside of you…

And rock hard.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

You stayed as you were, your face down and your ass up, as you felt him humping away at you again. You could barely whimper as your tender pussy took another pounding. Christ, why wasn’t he getting tired? If the quirk was getting any closer to wearing off, it sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

It wasn’t long before he came again, grunting with each hard buck as he filled you with his apparently endless supply of cum. Was he done? Please be done. You turned your head just enough to check the state of his erection.

Nope.

Hawks had enough mercy to carry you to his much more comfortable bed before continuing. He took you again.

And again

And again.

You were positively ruined, no more strength left in your body as he repeatedly claimed you with fervor. Whenever it appeared you were getting uncomfortable in a certain position, he would simply switch things up before carrying on. Despite how utterly exhausted and raw you felt, your orgasms kept coming, every surge of pleasure clouding your mind more and more.

You had lost track of time. Was this his fifteenth go? seventeenth? Keeping count was becoming a drag. It didn’t help that Hawks was in too much of a trance to even speak, giving you nothing but moans and growls. At least he didn’t sound on the verge of tears anymore, so maybe he was making progress.

Another orgasm was approaching; could your tired body even handle it? You were laying on the edge of the bed as Hawks stood and fucked you. Even through all of the overwhelming passion, you never got tired of staring at his wings, the dazzling red never failing to mesmerize you. They fluttered rapidly as the tension in your core spilled over, your mouth opening in a silent scream and a blackness closing in on you with every blink.

Your body was finished.

———

Everything hurts.

That’s the first thing you noticed when you woke up and made the mistake of stretching. Your arms and legs ached, a sharp pain shot through your back whenever you shifted, and between your legs…well, the throb down there didn’t at all feel pleasurable anymore.

Still, you fought the pain to sit up and examine yourself. Your nether regions were surprisingly clean, almost as if someone had already taken care of it. With all of the cum Hawks pumped into you, it should frankly be an awful mess down there.

Speaking of, where was the guy?

“Hey.”

Oh, there he was leaning in the door frame. He had obviously tidied up, no longer a flushed and sweaty wreck, and was now sporting a pair of loose pants and a tee. You had never seen him looking so casual. It was probably a privilege very few had, and knowing that ignited something in your chest.

He glanced around before looking back at you. “You alright?”

Realizing you were just gawking at him and haven’t said anything yet, you coughed to ensure your voice was still clear and functioning. “I’m fine.”

He snickered. It was a sound you were used to whenever he knew he had the upper-hand in some way, but something about it felt softer this time. “I just fucked you into high heaven for a whole day.” He could’ve acknowledged it in a less shameless manner, dammit. “I just wanna know if you’re alright. You look pretty stiff.”

A jolt shot through your lower back in perfect timing with his statement, making you flinch. “Yeah, I’m—I’m pretty sore. Very sore,” you admitted.

“Ah,” He stood up straight. “I’ll go get some, uh, pain relief. Be right back.” And with that, he was out of your sight.

You waited patiently for his return, actually observing his bedroom for the first time. It was surprisingly bare, the room of someone who didn’t spend much time at home. There was a window that you didn’t notice and holy shit he was right. It was nighttime; you spent the entire day in Hawks’s bedroom. The fangirl in you was squealing in delight. You told her to shut the hell up.

The man returned with a glass of water in one hand, a pill in the other, and a set of clothes draped across his arm. “Here,” he handed the water and medicine over before sitting beside you on the bed. You gulped down the capsule, sputtering a bit as the cold water flowed down your dry throat. “I’ve got some clothes that might fit you well enough. Sorry about your suit. I’ll give you some money for a new one.”

He’s never sounded so wooden before and you couldn’t stand it. You let out your best good-hearted laugh as you took the offered clothes. “Stop that, Hawks. You sound as bland as your bosses right now,” you joked.

He laughed along with you. “Heh, sorry babe. Just worried that I came on a little too strong at the beginning there.”

You simply hummed in response. His clothes were so warm and smelled like him. Despite being surrounded by his strong scent for hours, you still welcomed it.

“So…looks like you’re feeling better.” You took in his appearance again now that he was closer. There was still a tinge of red in his face, but he seemed overall back to his usual relaxed self.

“Oh yeah, much better. The feeling’s still there, honestly,” he saw your eyes widen and instantly blurted out, “Just barely! I can ignore it and think clearly just fine now.” A boyish smile spread across his face. “Looks like I’ve got a hero. You really saved me back there.”

A ridiculous snort left you after hearing such praise. “Is that all it takes to be the great Hawks’s hero? I’m flattered.”

“Hey, I’m serious,” He looked you square in the face, and you couldn’t look away from his sincere expression. “It’s never been that bad before. Not gonna lie, I’m embarrassed you saw me like that. That was worse than all of my teenage ruts combined. Damn villain’s quirk really messed me up, felt like I was going fucking rabid. I don’t know what state I’d be in if it weren’t for you.”

Your mouth opened and closed, unsure of how to respond to his gratitude. “You’re welcome,” was all you could say. “You don’t need to feel bad about it. It’s…” You looked down at your feet. “It’s not like I didn’t like it. It was very draining, honestly lost track of time at a certain point, but it, uh, it was an experience.”

Hawks nodded in response. “Sure was. Never thought I’d rail a girl so hard and for so long that she’d pass out. I’m impressed with myself.”

“Hawks.”

He hung his head in mock shame. “My apologies, ma’am! I completely forgot that such vulgar language isn’t tolerated around you.” And there’s the infuriating grin that you were beginning to miss.

Both of you were laughing, slowly melting away the tension and stress that filled the room since morning. This…this was nice.

“So, you probably still don’t feel all that great, sooo…” Hawks rubbed at the back of his neck. “You wanna stay for dinner? Already ordered a chicken pizza with some wings.”

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows. “Taking me to dinner after the sex?”

“Hey now, you know me. ‘The hero who’s too fast for his own good.’ Sometimes I miss a step or two.” He winked before getting up to leave. “You just lay there and rest, and go pee already. Don’t need an infection on top of everything else you’re going through. I already cleaned up the horrifying scene between your legs.”

You shuddered at the crude comment before falling backwards onto the poor mattress that had endured so much today.

Tomorrow, it will be back to professionalism. Back to pretending that you’re Hawks’s superior. Back to sucking up to the Commission. You’re going to cherish every minute of tonight, enjoying the company of Keigo Takami, not Hawks.

A shout echoed from downstairs. “The bathroom’s still empty, babe! Get your ass in there and pee!”

#bnha #hawks #smut #hawks x reader #takami keigo #i applaud you if you read the whole thing #this fic had a mind of its own

[flowerslut]

Hide and Seek

I did not ask permission to write this... so... I am hoping that writing this is okay. I asked for prompts. I received a prompt. I loved the prompt. I needed a scene for the prompt. I am... trying not to write angst so much. Humor is good! Humor is fun. Ruff Bois AU is fun. Ruff Bois honestly doesn’t even read as an AU; it’s likely canon at this point if we’re being real. Here’s a Ruff Bois story. Thank you @gayvampiretown for giving us the headcanons that we both need and deserve. A thousand apologies if I don’t do them justice.

Prompt: Emmett/Rose - “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

(sent by @herokingrobbstark)

Rosalie has always lived with a keen understanding of the way relationships are supposed to work. There is give and take. There is patience. Communication. Love. Understanding. Sometimes there’s a compromise but oftentimes there’s collaboration.

As a human, with a heart that ardently craved affection, Rosalie saw very little of those things in the glimpses she observed between the couples in her life. Between her parents, rarely. Vera and her husband, often. But she remained stubborn as always, figuring that if anyone could have a pure, happy love, surely she could find it easily.

She found it ironic—and still does, honestly—that it wasn’t until her heart stopped beating when she found herself bearing witness to a true loving relationship.

First, in the serenity she witnessed between Carlisle and Esme. Their calm understanding of one another frustrated, then quickly baffled, and eventually soothed her.

Then, not long after, she found it reflected in herself and Emmett. A cool relief soothing the burn that had been eating away at her over the couple of years she’d been despising her own existence.

Over the decades she’s learned—well, they’ve learned together—what it takes to make things work. She’s learned that sometimes improper communication can start an argument, but a total lack of it will ensure one. She’s learned what it means to quiet her own heart and listen, and that truly opening up starts with acknowledging that there are things that need to be expressed and heard.

She especially acknowledges that although patience sometimes has a limit, it’s still vital in trying times.

And as she holds a camera in her hands, trying to hold her tongue, she doesn’t think it’s an overstatement at all to call this one of those ‘trying times’.

“Rose, baby. You have to at least aim the camera at us or we’re not going to be in the frame.”

Rosalie counts to three, inhales, and running her tongue across razor-sharp teeth, she exhales slowly. Then, she lifts the camera up a few inches.

“Would it kill you to look through the viewfinder?”

Someone smacks the second voice—the sound of stone hitting hardened flesh—and Rosalie closes her eyes.

Another slow inhale. Careful movements as she opens her eyes, opens the screen, flips it toward herself, and glances down. The camera doesn’t budge as she does this, her hand always steady, and when it focuses fully on the three people in front of her, she feels nothing but a resigned sort of reluctance, pushing down the contempt she feels for the shape-shifter carrying her adopted sister-in-law.

She makes eye contact with Bella, who smiles sympathetically, and slowly releases the breath.

When Emmett and Jacob had become friends, she’d... tolerated it. Sure, the dog was a constant bother (and a fucking asshole on top of it), and yeah, if Emmett wanted to be within five feet of her after they hung out she made him change and shower (sometimes twice), but hanging out with him made Emmett happy.

And she’d learned over the decades that sometimes she had to tolerate things for her husband’s happiness.

Her one rule when they started recording these mindless, inane videos: keep her out of it and she wouldn’t say anything negative about it, leaving them to their antics.

But then Emmett asked her to do his makeup on camera, and she couldn’t just say no to something that was admittedly so funny. Especially when he pouted as he asked. Damn his expressive, handsome face.

And then soon after he’d asked her to do Jacob’s makeup. And she couldn’t pass up the once-in-an-afterlife opportunity to make him look like a cheap, drunk clown.

Thankfully, Jasper takes up the reigns in following the pair around to document their nonsense, so the boys typically keep their shenanigans to themselves. Of course she does not understand how the blond got roped into helping them out with their ridiculous videos, but Rosalie feels nothing but disdain for Jasper currently.

Because no matter how much he claims to be annoyed by their antics, Jasper is a filthy, enabling traitor. One who owes her big time when he and Alice get back from their trip to New York.

“You know, Alice will kill you when she sees what you’re wearing for this bit.”

Bella looks up at Rosalie from where she is in Jacob’s arms and half-shrugs. The pant-suit fits her perfectly, tailored flawlessly thanks to Alice, but Bella has always hated being ‘styled’. “The sooner she stops spending money on me, the better.”

She had a point there. Alice had gotten better throughout the years with leaving Bella to her own devices, but could still be pretty insistent. 

“Bella dressed up for the adoring masses,” Jacob grins, turning to wink at the camera.

Rosalie doesn’t bother holding back her exaggerated gag.

“I really didn’t.”

“Either way, ask for more Bella, and ye shall receive!” Emmett is almost waist-deep in a hole that he’s been digging up with his bare hands for the better part of five minutes now. He could move faster, but he claims to enjoy moving at more of a human-pace for their videos.

Makes it easy for the humans watching to keep up. And for the camera to keep up, too.

Since they’ve found their spot in the woods—an uninhabited Rocky Mountain valley along the New Mexico/Colorado border—Emmett has gotten straight to work, looking to dig a deep enough hole to stick Bella in, while still standing, but small enough that it wouldn’t look too obvious.

“Can’t help that she’s a fan favorite.” Jacob’s words are clearly supposed to be a dig at her, meant to rile her up. But she’s so beyond caring what the people who watch their dumb videos think that all she can do is roll her eyes.

“This is never going to work, you know.”

“Hey!” Emmett shoots her a mock-frown. “No negativity on set. Also, yes it will. Edward will lose his shit trying to find her.”

“No offense, Bella,” Rosalie glares at a pile of dirt that Emmett tosses a bit too close to her, “because we all know I’m in favor of irritating Edward, but how do you know he’ll even care enough to come looking for you?”

The couple had recently had one of their first real fights since their marriage over a decade ago—or at least the worst one the rest of the family had all witnessed. Which meant a lot of attitude from the bronze-haired vampire, a lot of stubbornness from their newest vampire, and a lot of annoyance all around.

Edward had accompanied Renesmee on a trip back to Washington for a bit, but according to Alice, before she and Jasper left on their own trip, he’d be back early and would leave the hybrid girl behind to visit for a few days before letting her fly back to Illinois on her own.

And with the knowledge that Edward wasn’t around to fish any ideas out of their head, Emmett and Jacob went straight to work. Bella, who was still very much sore from their heated argument, had agreed wholeheartedly to the plan.

Jasper had literally tossed the camera into her hands (she should’ve just let the damn thing drop to the floor) and wished her luck, using his unique influence to ensure she’d be a bit more agreeable to the idea of potentially ‘helping out’, before Alice had whisked him out the door and off on their vacation.

‘Support your husband’s hobby’, he’d said. ‘It makes him happy,’ he’d said. ‘It’s just one video, you just point and shoot,’ he said.

The second his influence wore off she started swearing. They were going to be on Rosalie’s shit list for a while now. Jasper and Alice. Traitors. The both of them. Leaving her to deal with this shit.

Bella shrugs again as she watches Emmett chuck handful after handful of dirt out of the pit and off to the side. Then, she pulls a plastic bag out of her blazer pocket. “Oh,” she grins, turning to make eye contact with the blonde, “he’ll come looking alright.”

In the tightly bound plastic are the keys to all of Edward’s cars. Spare ones included.

Rosalie feels the smile creep onto her face. “Have I ever told you how much I cherish you as a sister?”

Bella’s grin widens as Jacob laughs.

“And you’re not worried that this will make things worse?” Despite his joy in heavily inconveniencing Edward Cullen, there’s a bit of apprehension hidden behind Jacob’s brown eyes.

“He didn’t even say goodbye to me before he left,” Rosalie can hear how thoroughly pissed Bella still is, even despite her even facial expression and the three weeks that have passed since the initial argument. “If he wants to play petty, we can play petty.”

Emmett’s laugh echoes through the area and before they realize it he is shoulder-deep in the hole.

“You guys do know this isn’t going to work though, right?” Despite the pleasure she will undoubtedly get from watching this punishment-like prank fail, she feels the need to make sure that they know this.

They have to know this, right?

“What are you talking about?” Emmett pokes his head up out of the hole, a mildly hurt look on his face. “You don’t think we can pull this off?”

“I know you can’t. He’s going to trace our scents to this exact spot.”

“No,” Jacob stubbornly shakes his head, “he’s going to trace my scent. Mine masks yours.”

Rosalie blinks at him twice. “Yes. Exactly. He’s going to trace your scent and find Bella.”

“But he won’t know where Bella is because he can’t follow her scent. And since he can’t read her mind it’s not like he can just listen in to zero in on her location.” More dirt gets tossed dangerously close to her and she finds herself glaring at the back of her husband’s head as he works.

Rosalie steps back. “But he’s going to know Jacob had something to do with it. It doesn’t matter who ‘hides’ her. He’s going to still follow the trail and find her.”

“We’ll take a long route home. Back track a bunch. Muddle up the trail.” Jacob’s answers are spoken with the confidence of someone who has undying faith in their own idiocy. It’s confidence he has no business possessing, and it’s incomparably annoying.

“Bella, you have two brain cells to rub together. You know he’s going to be able to track you down.”

“Alice said a storm is blowing through tomorrow night,” the girl supplied. “I’m hoping it washes away everyone’s scent.”

Rosalie grimaces. “You know if you hate that outfit that much you don’t have to wear it while you get buried underground, during a rainstorm, for several days.” She pictures how ungodly Bella is going to look after she’s unearthed and has to suppress a shudder. Her eyes then wander to Emmett’s dirty mop of hair and her frown deepens.

He’s not going to be touching her again until he’s scrubbed clean, head to toe.

“And let it collect dust? That would be rude.”

Jacob laughs again, and when Bella tries to get down from his hold, he nearly shouts. “Not yet! The only place your toes are touching is the bottom of that hole.

“I thought you said your scent masked ours?” Rosalie deadpanned.

“We still can’t be too careful.”

“This is your dumbest idea to date.”

“Just keep the camera on my good side, alright?” Jacob grins again and Rosalie simply turns the camera, cutting him entirely out of the frame. “Hey!”

“So, let’s say the trail gets muddled up. Edward can’t track her down. What do you think he’ll do next?”

Bella shrugs, as if uncaring how long it may take for her to be found, and Emmett turns toward her, pointing a finger at the camera. “Nothing! He has to find her! We already left the list of instructions on the front door. He has to find Bella within two weeks or he loses the challenge. And if he does Bella leaves her spot, hides the keys in a new spot, and comes home. Edward loses and has to eat a food of Bella’s choosing.”

“Yogurt,” Bella nods with a grimace, already aware of which food disgusts her husband the most.

“And when has Edward ever, since you started this shit, played by the rules for your little games?”

Emmett and Jacob share a concerned look, as if they hadn’t considered Edward would not be willing to play along, and Rosalie nearly bursts with a mixture of frustration and laughter.

She zooms in on their looks of apprehension. “You’re right,” she laughs, “This is fun.”

“Seriously,” Emmett throws his hands in the air dramatically, dirt flying toward the sky, decidedly not enjoying his wife’s teasing. “We’re trying to hide a body.”

“You know he can just get new keys.”

“Just ignore her,” Jacob nods to Emmett, gesturing for him to continue. “It’s a good idea. It will be gold.”

“And what gold are you expecting to get out of this?”

“His reactions are going to be fire,” Emmett has a grin in his voice as he hops out of the hole.

“And I take if you two will be recording his journey to find his buried wife?”

“You bet.” Jacob lowers Bella slowly into the hole, Emmett holding his hand over his brow, saluting as she’s lowered onto her feet.

“Right. So when Edward fishes the information out of one of your minds, then he’ll know where she is and come and get her?”

“No, because Bella will just—”

“Shield your minds?” The two men are silent.

Rosalie laughs as the two men shoot each other looks, as if realizing maybe this plan won’t work the way they’re hoping.

“In my defense,” Bella pipes up from her hole, “I told Jake this yesterday and he definitely brushed that detail aside. Either way,” she reaches up and smacks at Emmett’s foot, “fill her up. Whether this prank is internet-worthy or not means little to me at this point. I need to piss off my husband.”

Rosalie laughs louder and keeps the camera trained on her own husband’s look of defeat.

Collaboration to make a relationship work better? Sure, she can do that.

Quality time is a love language, after all.

#twilight saga #gayvampiretown #emmett x rose #twilight fanfiction #ruff bois #feel free to send more prompts from that prompt list listen above tbh #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #jacob black #bella swan #edward cullen

[gaybluesargent]

Please provide me with every detail about these beautiful raven girls. i've got a notepad to fill with ink and nowhere to be in the morning...

this is very very late, so that morning has passed, but hopefully you still have some room in that notepad! just a note that all my raven girl headcanons are trans girl headcanons! & for the sake of my raven girls aus, aglionby is co-ed!(also, /tagged/all-your-favs-are-trans-girls!)

gansey:

generally Proficient at preforming femininity - looking and acting in ways everybody traditionally expects from a girl - but only really feels the need to be read as very Traditionally Feminine when she’s around her family

has very little physical dysphoria (she doesn’t rly want hormones or surgery) but her social dysphoria can get rly bad & lead to panic attacks if she doesn’t pass well enough in public

but with her friends, it’s not typically too bad!

i think she probably came out when she was like 14 or 15? she started transitioning when she was off traveling by herself!

so her family was kind of Shocked and gansey still. Has Trouble with that sometimes. but they’re not outright terrible about it. just. not rly Good either. 

she’s got shoulder-length hair in a clean-cut bob (that gets a little curly in humidity), but she puts it up into a ponytail or a hat as much as possible because she doesn’t like the way hair feels on her neck 

(it’s reminiscent of hornets)

post-trk she definitely chops her hair off and gets a rly cute pixie :’)

is Skilled at makeup and uses it to hide all the evidence of sleepless nights

paints her nails religiously because she finds the act of painting them very calming and likes the way it feels!

often paints them orange to match the camaro, even though helen tried to tell her that it looks a little juvenile to have bright orange nails

daily wardrobe (polo shirts, khaki pants, boat shoes) is virtually unchanged tbh… geek… i love her….

and for formal occasions, helen lets gansey borrow from her wardrobe if she wants!

(ps! more trans girl gansey content here!)

i looked all over for the post cuz i think i stole this idea from someone else so link me if u know it, but someday gansey marries blue and legally changes her name to Gansey Sargent :’)

ronan:

butch! trans! lesbian! ronan! niall! lynch!!

(she loves her full name because her parents gave it to her and she doesn’t plan on ever changing it)

came out when she was 15, and once niall was killed, she started physically and socially transitioning All At Once

still has her head shaved. im in love with her. 

has and will punch a bigot without hesitation

she has 100 earrings in each ear and wears lots of rings

paints her nails to pick it all off the next day

when gansey’s extra anxious, she paints ronan’s nails for her, and it’s Soft :’)

her wardrobe is 100% unchanged from canon - rich tired punk farmer - and she looks gr8

she generally can’t walk in heels at all but she’s got this one pair of heeled boots that make her absurdly tall and she Loves It!

makeup skills are limited to making her look as Pissed Off as possible (meaning middle-school emo raccoon eyeliner and black lipstick probably)

typically not super dysphoric unless verbally misgendered

& isn’t rly comfortable with how deep her voice is but also isn’t willing to try to talk higher because she thinks she sounds silly, so she stays quiet a lot around new people

dreams up some fuckin miracle hormones for everyone and it’s Wonderful!

adam:

came out & transitioned later than everybody else because she wouldn’t even Consider her gender while she was still living with her parents

tbh gender probably plays into the whole Feeling Unknowable even to herself thing

but all her friends are trans as heck so she’s got a rly solid support system to help her once she starts to figure it out!

is rly reluctant to publicly transition because she’s worried abt how it might affect her future - being a trans girl makes life so much harder than just staying a cis boy - but, over time, she starts to make peace with it and realizes that Being Herself is worth the risk!

she fiddles with gender rly subtly at first: not really changing the style of clothes she wears, but buying t-shirts from the girl’s section instead of the boy’s section… growing her bangs out but keeping the rest of her hair short… wearing lip gloss… 

and these little changes help her comfort immensely, and eventually lead to more obvious changes in presentation!

tbh she probably comes out as A Girl first and then realizes she’s actually maybe a demigirl/a nb girl/something like that because being feminine feels Way Better than being masculine, but being A Girl doesn’t feel totally right either

and ronan helps with this, both as a role model for Not Giving A Fuck and also as a butch girl who shows adam that gender and gender expression don’t have to always align perfectly!

every now and then, adam puts on a skirt, and everyone in a 5 mile radius falls in love because she looks Damn Good!

especially with knee socks? like! shit!!!

noah:

noah is a ghost! you think ghosts care about gender? nope! noah’s agender or genderfluid in every universe and thems the facts 🙏🏻

but when noah was alive… he had some Gender Stuff

like, nothing as concrete as actively identifying as something other than a boy, but i think he definitely dabbled in gender presentation as a “haha jokes isn’t it funny” but secretly and quietly because it Felt Right

like… he definitely stole adele’s skirts a few times and his friends were like “czerny r u gay!” and he’s like “haha” but it was definitely actually subtle Gender Feelings that he didn’t have the vocabulary to express

anyway! once he’s dead he has no body and his presentation as Ghost Illusion can change with his comfort

so some days, he manifests looking more femme, and his friends know when to switch up pronouns and make him feel better!

similarly, he can read everybody’s mind, so he always knows what to say and how to comfort his friends when they’re feeling down about anything, including gender stuff!

henry: 

stylizes her name to ‘henri’ to be a little more femme!

Fashion Icon! 

she’s inexplicably stylish. like. the outfits she puts together are Ridiculous and no one in their right mind would wear them and they look Amazing?

sometimes more femme, sometimes comfy being a little more butch, sometimes splicing styles completely! There Are No Rules!

also her Hair. legendary. she grows it out and does all kinds of things to it. she’s known for her elaborate braids. :’)

makeup took the longest to master but now she’s great at it and helps the rest of the girls do their makeup too cuz she’s easily the best at it!

absolutely unapologetic? henri “kiss my trans ass” cheng. henri “down with cis” cheng. 

once henri is fully integrated into the group and gets access to the Dream Hormones, she’s like “!!! idk why my mom is wasting time trading magical artifacts when we could just sell this shit! we’d be set for life and it’d be a great cause!!”

blue:

let’s make her a trans girl too cuz why not!

when maura was pregnant and they found out blue was a boy, calla and persephone were like ‘…sounds fake but okay’

so when blue gravitated toward femme stuff and insisted she was a girl from a young age, they were all like ‘ah that makes more sense!’

there wasn’t a lot of money around 300 fox way for hormones and stuff, but there’s lots of love to go around and they always make sure blue is supported and as comfortable as possible!

blue gets into sewing and making her own clothes during middle school, once puberty starts to wreak havoc on her ability to seamlessly shop in the girl’s department! 

this is a skill that she shares with the rest of the girls once she meets them – she helps them tailor and tweak all their clothes to fit more comfortably!!

she and henry become Fashion Buddies and they make outfits for each other all the time!

300 fox way is kind of a sanctuary for all the girls – surrounded by women who easily and immediately accept them as women too, surrounded by the magic they’re all so in love with… maura, calla, and persephone are their adoptive moms! they have sleepovers at blue’s all the time, individually when they’re having bad days and group sleepovers for fun!! 

#thanks so much for the ask! sorry again it took so long! #and as always - please let me know if i've said anything incorrect or upsetting! #like. i'm not cis. so i have some experience with Gender Shit! #but i'm not a trans girl! so pls let me know if i said anything wrong or out of line & i'll be happy to change it! #all the raven girls are my girlfriends and i'd die for any of them..... r i p.... im in love... :') #and this is totally ok to reblog if anybody wants to! #the gang #the raven girls #asks #headcanons #anon #all your favs are trans girls

[leonardo-artista]

Leo is not a supportive partner but Riario goddamn needs one

On writing Leario, on writing platonic bonds, on the importance of communication and being heard, on identifying with characters and asexual spectrum headcanons, on the false "sex fixes everything" belief and the false relationship hierarchy.

Warning: less meta and more me trying to explore and explain my feelings

There's something that bothers me about writing Leario post season three; in some ways Leo takes a step backwards. In season two he and Riario worked together and Leo understood that his actions had consequences for him and for other people. In season three however he fails to fully exorcise Riario's demons and leaves him to almost be executed and again become brainwashed, becomes obsessed with a Crusade instead of considering other options, abandons Vanessa to her fate, loses one friend and almost loses another one.

For me it all starts to go wrong when Leo does not ask Riario to stay when they return to Italy from their voyage. Riario has been through many trials. His faith has been tested and found wanting. He needs redemption or renewal. Leo could have offered him a new path, but instead Riario is left to beg for a redemption he is refused.

But let us suppose Leo asked Riario to stay with him. Let's imagine Riario made it clear that's what he wanted, because Leo is, as I'll come to again in a moment, dense. They return to Florence together. There's Zo's hostility to contend with, Lorenzo's brutality to contend with, the invasion to thwart. But let's say Leo triumphs, with Riario a part of that victory.

Is that a happy ever after?

Probably not.

There's a reason I frequently give Riario friendships outside of Leo's influence when I write Leario. In particular with Vanessa, who is a good listener and a source of comfort for Leo. She's an obvious choice. In au fics, there is often no blame attached to Riario for Guiliano's death/departure; sometimes Guiliano is alive. But regardless, it is important to me that Riario has someone who listens.

Because Leo does not.

I imagine life with Leo, especially a s1 or s3 Leo would go much like this:

LEO: Look at this awesome painting I'm working on

RIARIO: It is beautiful. I'm also working on something.

LEO: Sure. Look how the shadows fall here…

RIARIO: You said I am an artist too.

LEO: You are, you are. I liked that painting you did of the birds.

RIARIO: You love flight. I know. But this is something different I'm working on. I told you. A series of watercolours to illustrate Greek epics.

LEO: Right. That's not going to be that popular.

RIARIO: But my passion lies there.

LEO: Then go paint it.

RIARIO: Paint them.

LEO: Yes, them.

RIARIO: Are you even listening?

LEO: Of course I am. I think more sienna in this area, what do you think?

RIARIO: You don't even recall what day this is.

LEO: Thursday?

RIARIO: This is the day I killed my mother. (does not remind Leo he promised to go and take flowers to the grave because Leo has clearly forgotten)

LEO: Ah. Sorry.

RIARIO: It's a difficult time.

LEO: I'm sure. But you can't change the past. No, not sienna, maybe something lighter.

RIARIO: You don't care at all, do you, when you're lost to your obsessions.

LEO: That's not true.

RIARIO: What is the first watercolour an illustration of?

LEO: ….The Iliad?

 At which point Riario is going to understand why Zo spends so much time saying "Fuck you, Leo," and going off to the tavern where he can talk to Nico and Vanessa about what an ungrateful bastard Leo is.

Except maybe Riario doesn't have anyone else to talk to.

How to fix this problem of oblivious, self-centred Leo? Friendships, as I stated above. And/or having Leo learn to pay attention to the larger picture, to the people around him, to truly listen when Riario is confiding his secrets, his needs, his pain.

When I wrote "Weather Every Storm" the Vanessa & Riario was an integral part of the story. And furthermore Leo was more self-aware. He had enough sense to recognise that he is not always good at being in a relationship. He takes people for granted. He acknowledges that he needs to prioritise communication and to truly listen. Riario's problems can't just be fucked away. The Leario is the thrust of the story, and while there is sex within the fic, the plot follows the characters' personal growth as Riario attempts to build a new life, away from the influence of his father, and Leo learns to be more supportive. It's still my favourite fic.

I extrapolate this desire for someone to understand, a strong friendship to other fandoms. In another fandom I have a largely unmet desire for fic with a particular platonic m/f bond*; so much that I'm writing it for myself, pointlessly, because smut fic is the most popular thing. Same reason I have to write 99% of any Riario&Vanessa myself.

 I'm usually headcanoning the male as somewhere on the asexual spectrum, possibly grey-a or demisexual. Sex isn't the most important thing for them. In this second fandom, it's been pointed out that "conversational intimacy"** is the most important part of his sexual relationships.

The female is someone skilled at listening. They don't brush people's concerns aside; they see the real issue and explore it. They can be a shoulder to cry with no expectation of sex resulting from a bond. They listen and assist where possible.

Part of the reason the male characters – Riario, in Da Vinci's Demons – resonate with me is that they can be read as on the ace spectrum as I am, and because they are often alone, with no or few trusted compatriots. Fic that suggests sex is the be all and end all of a relationship does nothing for me and even more so when it's a character I've come to identity with, as with Riario. Fic that has sex "fixing" all issues does nothing but piss me off. Fic that has sex as the One True Allowable pleasure makes me beyond enraged – and when Leo is a pansexual hedonist visionary I can't imagine he's suddenly only into vanilla buttsex but I’ve seen both he and Riario given this mindset in fic. There is more to a character than who they are fucking.

So what do I do with these characters? I put them through hell because that's we do, isn't it? We write to explore them, to explore the world, to explore ourselves. We learn from pain, we get to acknowledge our pain, we get to see how we might get survive our pain.

And then I put them together again. I give them support systems that work, by giving them not a sex obsessed lover but the friend down the pub. Someone who genuinely listens and tries to understand, not someone mostly interested in smoothing things over so they can get back to fucking.

This is a little raw because I'm tired and stressed. The person I'd normally turn to isn't available at this moment for me to lean on – that's part of the reason I'm stressed. The one person I can open up to and know I will be heard rather than dismissed. And trying to explain that, trying to explain how anyone, a friend, a sister, a colleague, is the most important person in your life is difficult; you're not fucking them so why do they matter so much? It's no big deal if you lost them. Not like getting a divorce or being widowed. That's the relationship hierarchy***.

The relationship hierarchy appals me. The idea of a relationship where one partner is oblivious to their partner's needs is worrying. sidenote: I can write Leario in my sleep at this point. It's lost its edge somewhat to write origin stories though I have one more major fic to come. Established relationships, where Leo has learnt to do better/where Riario is friends with the Scooby Gang; OT3s/other pairings; gen. Maybe I need to explore those before I can recapture my passion. And I can write platonic m/f scenes and fics and gratify my own needs; but fic written but unread is half-done in many ways. But sometimes it seems smut fic is all anyone wants; not the emotional component.

Sometimes you just need someone to listen. But sometimes the best you can do is write someone else getting the comfort you so badly want.

Please be gentle with comments. This is a pretty personal post, despite my initial framing; I always find it easier to begin with, and to support my assertions, with factual or fictional examples. There's a reason certain characters and dynamics resonate with me, after all, and why I turn to them when I'm trying to illustrate my own troubled feelings.

#not really meta #but some thoughts on relationships #with leario as an example #and on why platonic ships appeal to me too #I am so tired #I have not slept properly in about a week #I'm stresed #this is me venting #go easy on the comments please #i've tried talking but no-one wants to actually listen so i write instead because writing is something i understand #i tried to spend time outdoors and away from the pc today #it helped a little #and writing this piece this evening helped marginally too #so much ranting #so much whining #so damn tired #let's post this shit and then try and sleep #hahahaha