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#but he also doesn’t look like he crawled out of a grave
lxclerc · 9 months
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𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 | 𝐜𝐥𝟏𝟔
summary… charles tries to help his girlfriend study but that proves to be difficult when he doesn’t understand a single thing requested… yes! warning… none. pure fluff.
note… another old drabble request from the graves of my inbox. also as a med student, i adore this idea so much
𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
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charles has never been the brightest tool in the shed when it came to academics. he supposes it comes with the occupation. growing up, he cared far too much about racing that he had no space left in his mind to care about school too. he was always meant to be a formula one driver so he never cared about the cell or the mitochondria.
ironically, you were the exact opposite. like him, you’ve known what you were meant to be the moment you got ahold of your first book. you’re going to be a doctor, a healer and you’ve dedicated yourself to that dream.
the human body is a beautiful machine, much like the universe. every little cell and atom circulating its vessel holds a purpose, creating a balance between life and death. it’s majestic, truly and a little bit scary. if one thing failed then the entire system could collapse and so you studied and studied and studied for ways to keep that system going, to cure ailments and diseases.
you thrive off academic validation and a minor superiority complex and yet somehow you’re the most anxious person charles has ever met.
he’s madly in love with you. this is a fact. him and his dream that required him to constantly put his life at risk and you with your dream of helping and saving people. really it was a match made in heaven. and charles is madly madly in love with you.
that’s the only reasonable explanation as he pulled himself out of his sim practice, seamlessly moving around the kitchen of your shared apartment as he prepared an ice coffee for you.
you’re drained and you’re on the verge of breaking down and so when he wrapped his arms around you and offered to help you study for your finals, you’d all but cried in gratitude.
no, charles leclerc didn’t care about the cell and mitochondria and but he cares greatly for you and so he’d study it if it meant you’d finally allow yourself to rest.
unfortunately for him, you’re way past learning about the mitochondria. instead you’re studying your worst enemy aka pharmacology.
“angiotensin receptor blockers prevent vasoconstriction and aldosterone release, causing a decrease in blood pressure and peripheral resistance,” you recite from the top of your head, still looking like you’re on the verge of tears but slightly better.
charles shook his head as he held the book you’d given him to help you study, his glasses on. “non, non, amour. it says here it’s ‘angiotensin receptor blockers selectively bind to the angiotensin I receptors in the blood vessels to prevent vasoconstriction and in the adrenal cortex to prevent release of aldosterone then lead to decrease in BP caused by decrease in peripheral resistance and blood volume.’”
you sigh again but couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you. the first time he did it, you’d gotten frustrated but at this point, your brain is far too fried to even get annoyed at him. especially when even he looks like he’s about to start crying.
you pushed away the book from his hand, clumsily crawling over to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing him down so he’d be laying on the sofa and you on top of him.
“my love, i don’t need to memorize everything word for word from the book,” you explain as gently as you can for the third time. you know he’s just trying his best to help you.
“why?” he frowned. “wouldn’t it be better if you knew it exactly from the book?”
you giggled. “perhaps but no med student would ever survive memorizing twelve inch books word for word. we’d simply all break down and die.”
you hold yourself up, pushing his hair off his forehead before removing his glasses. he still looks confused but a lot of things honestly confused charles. thank god he has a smart girlfriend to explain everything to him.
“stop worrying about it,” you say. “i’ve studied enough and we both need a break.”
he sighed in relief, tightening his arms around you. “thank god i felt like my brain was put on a pressure dryer for a minute there.”
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taglist: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @privcherry7 @miniminescapist @sebsdaniel @strelcka @writing-about-current-obsessions @amsofftrack @lostinketterdam @bisexual-desi @cialovessirlewis @multilovebot @lovelynikol16 @troybolton-14 @ohthemissery @dr3lover @myescapefromthislife @sunf1owerrq @the6ccnsp6cyy @t-nd-rfoot @navixfr @xjval @gridbunny
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yaekiss · 8 months
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crawling like a zombie out of a grave with heavy brainROT thinking of that vampire bat thing… i KNOW that freak of a man childe would absolutely be into that, even biting his lips to add on more blood and get you hooked on and used to his instead of some lousy human… but also thing of cuties like kaveh who shiver at the taste, and you’re sure he’d be blushing if he could, whimpers flowing out from his lips so easily. a high class diluc having a glass pressed against his lips held from you, filled with exquisite blood that fills his mouth before you kiss him filthily, knowing full well how he loves how perverted it makes him feel, how his hands shake and grip tightens on you with every swirl of your tongue against his.
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𝑩𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔
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꩜ Room Content: Dom! GN! Reader x Sub! Tartaglia, Sub! Kaveh, Sub! Diluc (separate), no gendered terms for reader, vampire! AU, blood and biting, mentions of violence in Tartaglia's part, lightly implied top!reader in Kaveh's part, footjob and cumming in pants in Diluc's part, lmk if I missed anything! ꩜ A/N: I didn't mean for this to get so long... pulpie what did u do to me...... 2.2k of vampire brainrot orz,,, anyways hope you enjoy the difference in dynamics !! PLEASE FILL IN THE FORM HERE AFTER READING THANK YOU!!!!
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🏷️𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝟎𝟕𝟐𝟎: 𝑻𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒂 ꒷꒦ Vampire!Reader x Human!Tartaglia ꒦꒷
Someone as battle-hungry as Childe never backs down from a challenge, even if it means trying to tame a literal creature of the night. (Although, reading through countless dusty tomes regarding vampire courtship isn’t really part of the taming process.)
A plus side to having a bloodthirsty harbinger as your partner is that you haven’t known hunger ever since he started trying to woo you! Dragging to you the, still warm, bodies of enemies he had to dispose of with a cheery grin, he watches, enraptured, as you partake in the meal he so graciously gifts you.
His eyes are trained on your form as you lap up the blood from the existing wounds he inflicted on the body during the fight, coating your lips in a sickening glisten. Childe squirms in his place, feeling a heat rising within. Tearing his gaze away from you, he looks down.
Fuck. He’s hard.
Shakily, he palms himself through his pants, looking for some relief. He tries to muffle his moans but he’s never really known to be quiet. His mind fills itself with images of you, appetite voracious as you drink from the body, bloodied fangs piercing through skin, and before it even registers, he’s whining for you.
Your shoes come into view and as he looks back up, he knows he’s been caught.
“Help me, please?” At that moment, Childe sounds too delectable, and coupled with the pleading way he’s looking at you, it seems that you crave something other than blood tonight too.
Your hands move to grab at his jawline, the sudden chill of your fingers against his skin makes his breath hitch and the way your sharpened nails graze him makes him all the more harder. Childe keens when your lips smash onto his, parting his mouth as you deepen the kiss, making him taste the lingering metallic tang of blood. 
His brain is a traitorous thing when it inserts himself into the place of the body. The visage of your arms cradling him as your fangs trace over the exposed skin of his neck, teasing before they sink in, when he could be all you think of, the visage burns behind his eyelids. Pulling away to allow Childe to catch his breath, his mind betrays him a third time when he doesn’t think and bites down hard on his own bottom lip before he captures yours again.
Instantly, his taste fills your mouth. It’s not often you manage to savour the blood of someone touched by the abyss. The flavour is intoxicating and you find yourself wanting more. As if by instinct, your hand supports the back of his head and he moans into your mouth as you kiss harder. 
Childe doesn’t know if he’s spurred on by the fact that you’re so taken by the taste of him other than that other lousy human or if it’s the hunger shining in your eyes. There’s a part of him that sings when the thought registers. The thought that he, his blood, has such an effect on you, amplifying your bloodlust a hundredfold, that he is addictive to you. That you want him.
Moving forward, he doesn’t bring you any more bodies. Instead, he just brings himself, and hopefully, he’d get a little lucky too.
Childe never backed down from a challenge, even if it meant being tamed by a literal creature of the night ♡
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🏷️𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝟎𝟕𝟎𝟗: 𝑲𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒉 ꒷꒦ Vampire!Reader x Vampire!Kaveh ꒦꒷
A vampire Kaveh would be… a little pitiful. The thought of harming someone else goes against everything he stands for, let alone drinking someone else’s blood (even if the blood was obtained through honest, human-vampire-law-abiding, means.)
He resorts to drinking animal blood instead. It’s not the most satiating or nourishing but it’ll have to do. At least he doesn’t have to imagine a human face with a family tied to the bloody beverage he’s gulping down. However, it leaves him weak and prone to feeling faint at the most inopportune of times.
Times such as now, when Kaveh can’t find his keys again and he’s locked out of Alhaitham’s house and he desperately needs to drink but his blood stash is in the house and he can’t find Alhaitham anywhere. It’s not hard to see that your poor fellow vampire is spiralling when you open the door to your home that he’s been frantically pounding on.
You lead him inside, carefully setting him down on the couch since he was dangerously swaying back and forth while he walked. Kaveh and you go way back, so it’s not surprising that he seeks you out when he’s in need. You’re just so understanding, nothing like Alhaitham, and you’ve always looked out for him unceasingly all this time. His eyes catch how your hand is still supporting his arm from earlier and if his heart could beat, it would be fluttering right now.
“How long has it been since your last meal?” Shit, you’re grilling him and he’ll be dead twice over if you find out he hasn’t exactly been taking care of himself. He deflates pathetically in his seat before he mutters out his answer.
“A week and a half… maybe two…” His answer trails off and he can’t bring himself to meet your eyes. He quickly tacks on an explanation for good measure when the silence drags on for too long and he can feel himself being simmered alive (undead?) in your gaze.
“M-my commissions haven’t been coming in and- and money is a little tight-” he sighs, “-before I even realised it, the amount of blood I have left was already running low…”
Your hand leaves his arm and the action has his head snapping back to look at you. He feels you rise from your seat next to him on the sofa and alarms blare in his mind. Did he say something wrong? He knows he should look after himself more, fuck, you don’t hate him now, right? He’s brought out of his thoughts when you push a cup into his twiddling hands.
“Drink up.” Kaveh looks up at you, expecting to see a disapproving frown. However, when all he can see is worry and concern on your face, he’s a little caught off guard.
“But isn’t it… human blood?” He’s sheepish when he asks this, brows knitted together.
“I’m sorry, but it’s all I have currently and you look like you’d faint if you don’t get something in your system right now.”
Even so, he doesn't budge, just holding the cup in his hands. Usually, the scent alone is enough to send hungry vampires into a frenzy. Judging by how hard he’s clenching it and how he’s definitely starving by now, you can tell he’s holding himself back. You don’t want to risk anything bad happening to Kaveh if you go out to buy a bag of animal blood right now so you press on.
“Is there any way I can convince you to drink it?”
Maybe it’s the spiralling state of mind he has, or the loopiness from the hunger, or that determined gleam you have in your eyes, but something weakens inside of him as he blurts out.
“Can you feed it to me? I don’ wanna think ‘bout who the blood came fr’m.”
His vision spins as you gently take the cup out of his hands. Why is the room spinning? Why are you getting closer?? 
Your lips meet his and suddenly his slurred words click in his mind. Eyes widening, he looks at you but he makes no move to push you away. He just leans into your touch when your hands cup his cheeks and as you part his lips, the taste of the blood hits him.
It’s been ages since he’s savoured this flavour, and with you kissing him too? He can’t stop a shiver from rocking through his body when your tongue enters his mouth, pressing his thighs together as he lets out a loud whimper. Your hand cards through his hair, messing up the blonde locks but he can’t find it in himself to complain, not when he’s practically melting in your arms. Now, it’s become less of trying to feed Kaveh before he dies, and more of making out with the closest companion you’ve loved all this time.
Filthy whines escape him as the initial exquisite flavour of blood mellows out, giving way to the taste of you. Did his fang accidentally pierce your tongue? He doesn’t have the power to think about it when all he can comprehend is you, the taste of your blood, the touch of your skin, your tongue down his throat. You override his every thought and he’s left craving. 
The intimate moment lasts for a bit more before you break apart. (To Kaveh, it felt like something between a split-second and his ever-eternal lifespan.) 
He’s still a little shaky, it’s obvious that that little mouthful of blood isn’t enough nourishment for him.
“Will you drink if you can only think of me while you do?”
Kaveh leaves your home glowing the next day. (He’s limping too but let’s not talk about that.)
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🏷️𝑹𝒐𝒐𝒎 𝟎𝟒𝟑𝟎: 𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄 𝑹. ꒷꒦ Human!Reader x Vampire!Diluc ꒦꒷
It’s awfully gratifying to have the Diluc Ragnvindr, a noble of high vampire society, knelt at your feet, his hands held behind his back. You don't even need to bind his hands. Frankly, it wouldn't really do anything because of his supernatural strength. But, oh. There's something so delicious about him willing to keep his hands behind him just because you asked. The way you have him utterly wrapped around your finger... tantalising. 
You hold the wineglass of your blood above him and he instinctively shuffles in closer, a low whine leaving him before he even realises. As you tilt the cup towards him, his plush lips close on the rim, fervently lapping up what he can. He's terribly messy though. Tsk, and to think he's supposed to be high class.
The frenzied way he's drinking up your oblation, watching the crimson trickle past his lips, staining his pale skin such a dazzling red as it drips further down to his bobbing throat, he really is mesmerising. And what’s this? 
Your dear Diluc is rutting against your shoe, trying to get off while you’re so graciously feeding him. Greedy.
He’s panting in between gulps, his eyes unfocused as the lust building in him drives him mad. There’s a conscious part of his brain saying that he shouldn’t be trying to cum right now, you’re being so nice to him, but fuck, it feels sosososo good!
You think he’ll forgive you when you cruelly pull the cup away from him.
Immediately, a pitched whine rips from his throat, and he chases after your blood, eyes begging for you to return his sweet salvation. But Diluc thinks otherwise about opening his mouth to try to reason with you when he feels your foot against his crotch.
“I’ll let you drink again after you cum, hmm? It’s not good to be distracted while you eat.” 
His brain kicks into overdrive when the tip of your shoes presses down onto his dick, the pain bleeding into sinful pleasure. Diluc lets out a sharp hiss as you move your foot, teasing his length that’s straining behind his pants. He’s grinding his hard cock against the bottom of your shoe, the darkened patch of fabric growing and lewd moans slipping from his lips as he does so.
You can tell when he’s about to cum, his eyes are screwed shut and his moans become louder and more clipped, focusing more on the tempting heat rather than getting proper words out. Quickly, you take a mouthful of blood before you lean in and pull him in by the collar of his shirt.
The kiss is nothing shy of filthy, smearing blood on your lips and cheeks as he drinks desperately. He’s addicted to the heat of your mouth, your blood, on his skin, and the ravenous way you’re kissing him makes him feel like he’s the one being devoured instead. His neck is straining from being tilted upwards but there’s no other way he’d have you, as if it was only natural to have a powerful being like him on his knees at your side.
A hard press against the tip of his cock is what sends him off the edge. Cumming with a shout, he leans into your kiss, the hands he held behind his back all this time shooting forward to grasp at your thighs. Diluc shakes as he rides out his orgasm, groaning every time he ruts against your shoe.
Pulling away from him, his tongue lolls out of his mouth with a dazed expression on his face, as if he’s been fucked dumb. You drink in his appearance. He’s dishevelled, his usual tidy ponytail all tangled and messy, a wet patch at the front of his pants where he came in his pants. Diluc suppresses a shiver when he notices the swirling hunger in the gaze you regard him with, the roles of vampire and human so easily reversed and perverted by you.
Your lips shine with a saccharine sheen under the dim lighting as they part to ask him.
“And what do you say, Diluc?”
“Thank you.”
 It's safe to say that, unlike Diluc, your hunger isn't getting abated anytime soon.
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thenightcallsme · 6 months
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Do I Make you Nervous? | Simon "Ghost" Riley
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little re-upload from my AO3 :)
Synopsis: When Task Force 141 is betrayed by Philip Graves, they're forced to separate. Y\N fights her way through the foreign Las Almas with a broken radio and no sense of direction. Yet, somehow, she finds herself in the same church her lieutenant, Simon "Ghost" Riley, seeks sanctuary in. As they attempt to brave the storm sweeping through the streets, the infamously unreadable Ghost challenges their professional relationship.
Pairing: Ghost x F!141reader
Contains: fluff, kissing, use of Y/N, hint of angst but resolved in the end, vague mentions of blood/wounds
Word count: 5,874
• • • • •
It was all a set-up. A lie.
Disappointment and anger triumphs any sadness over Grave's betrayal. At first, he came across as over-confident in that stereotypical male way. Over time I had warmed up to him. But Shepherd? The man who has given me the most freedom I’ve had in a long time? I admit that my use as a weapon to him has put a strain on our companionship, but to station me with my own cousin only to lash out unprovoked? He’s crossed a line that he can never come back from. The small liking I had for the man vanished as soon as shit hit the fan. Everything seems to replay in my mind. Alejandro insulted and detained, Johnny shot at, Ghost cornered...
There were too many of them to fight off. I couldn't trust myself to hold my own with my mind worrying over Johnny, Alejandro and Ghost while also plotting Shepherd's death. So, though it pained me, I ran. Ghost and Johnny did the same. 
My radio was damaged in the incident. A stray bullet flew my way, and with a stroke of luck, grazed the radio instead of my ribs. The close call was enough warning to run, which is what I do now. The lack of communication only worsens the worry.
Shadows crawl in the streets of Las Almas like rats in a sewer. From door to door they go, yelling at innocent civilians in the late hours of dusk. From the conversations I've heard, they're looking for two foreign men and their female friend. They don't quite explain why we're being hunted, but the truth wouldn't change much. Every so often, a shot fires, echoing through the streets like a warning bell. A call of sorrow and fear.
With the Shadows forcing their way into civilian homes and raising their weapons against anyone who could harbour us, houses and shops aren't safe. The towering cathedral spires peeking above tin roofs and stacked houses catch my attention instead. Nobody would be inside at this time of night. For now, it's the best I can do. Also to my luck, the church isn't too far away. I take my time and keep to the shadows on my way. With a quick survey of my surroundings, I know I've bet the Shadows to this part of the city. That won't last long. The revelation has me jumping the gate within seconds of making it.
Inside the church is pitch black. Towering windows that tell biblical tales line the walls, casting light in intervals across the empty foyer. Rows of seats begin to emerge as my eyes adjust. Further back is an intricate, circular skylight tens of feet above the marble floor. Illuminating the altar below is a waterfall of silvery light. The giant cross, gold statues, and wooden altar glow like I'm looking through a blurred lens. The view is both eerie and magical...and not meant to be marvelled at in a time like this. My focus should be maintaining high ground. I begin to turn in search of a staircase when something shifts in the darkness.
A figure materialises, tall and built; easily a male physically capable of snapping my neck. My next best option is the gun strapped to my hip to parry the one in his hand. I go to reach for mine—
“Y/N?”
I freeze in surprise, but my mind eases slightly.
“Lieutenant? How—”
“Doesn’t matter. We’re here now.” He looks down at me with searching eyes. “You in one piece?”
“Yes. You—?” At that moment, my own eyes skim his body, only to halt at a worrying sight. On the left side of his waist, just above the waistband of his pants, is a blooming, dark red stain on his shirt. He’s been shot. “Jesus, Ghost. How bad is it?”
“I’ve had worse—”
He stops himself at the distant shouting. The surrounding streets haven’t been quiet since I’ve been in the church, but this time it grows closer. Angrier. Ghost doesn’t waste time ushering me along in search of a stairwell. The one we find leads to the second floor, then a third. Eventually, we discover the central bell tower. The room is dank and cold and decently big. Suspended in the middle is a gigantic bell. Even in the dark, I can see how weathered the metal is. The worn wooden floors creak as we cross it. On each wall are arched openings that allow entry to the cold night air and terrified screams. A small cluster of discarded furniture draped in white sheets huddles in a corner. From here, we have a perfect view of the sprawling city and winding streets. To those down there, we’re invisible.
Simon leans back against a wall and grunts, his hands brushing over the bullet wound. He pulls back his hands to inspect the fresh blood. However bad it is, it’s still bleeding.
“Show me,” I say. My voice comes out more demanding than I intend.
He gives me a brief exasperated look but doesn’t push back.
Ghost sits against the wall with his shoulders slumped just enough to reach my level. His jacket is unzipped, his black shirt rolled up halfway. Those tired, piercing eyes and muscular arms are the most I've ever seen of him. It feels like a reward when the weather is unforgiving enough to chase away his usual long-sleeve or jacket. His arms are tanned and muscled, with a tattoo sleeve working from the wrist of his left arm up to his elbow. I’ve begun to accept that it’s the closest I’m ever going to get to seeing him. But now I stare down at his bare abdomen.
The waistband of his black cargo pants sits low on his hips, offering a distracting view of a pronounced V-line and abs. In the moonlight, I can make out the reminders of war that mark his skin; a few silvery scars, some clean-cut, some gnarled and twisted; an old bullet wound healed closer to his ribs. The fresh one with the most of my attention is buried in a more acceptable spot. It nestles into the far right side of his waist, thankfully nowhere near any vital organs. However, it’s still a bullet wound and it still bleeds. That’s enough to worry me.
“Do you reckon it’s bad?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I wouldn’t say I’m dying.”
“But we aren’t in the position to get proper help. Maybe sit down for a bit.” Surprisingly, he does so without question. I get to my feet, draw a small knife from my thigh holster, and rip a strip of fabric from the white sheets. When I drop back down beside him, I take a deep breath. “Here"
He takes it with a mumbled thank you and wraps the fabric around his waist.
“You heard from John?” I ask.
Simon winces as he adjusts the torn sheet. “I radioed him multiple times. Never got an answer.”
“Are you surprised by all this?”
Simon leans back against the wall. “I tend to be less surprised by betrayal. But I had some respect for Shepherd.”
I sigh, shuffling around him so that I can do the same. “What are we supposed to do now?”
“Survive,” he says. “Shepherd wants you alive. Graves will see to that. He can’t kill Alejandro, either. But Johnny and I…” He shakes his head. “Graves won’t sleep until there’s a bullet in our heads and Shepherd won’t care enough to stop it.”
There’s a moment of silence as I fold my arms and look away thoughtfully. How are we supposed to do this? The blanket of night and the ensuing storm may offer some cover, but getting out of the city will be a mission. I can’t bring myself to leave without John, either. My heart hurts when I think about him. He could be anywhere, alone and outnumbered while I sit uselessly in a bell tower.
“What do we do about Johnny?” My voice is quiet. Fearful. “My radio was damaged so I couldn’t reach out to him. Maybe his is the same. But not knowing… He’s the only family I have left. My only real friend.”
“Don’t worry about Johnny. He’s one of the most resourceful and strong-willed Sergeants I’ve dealt with in a while. Have faith in him.” He looks at me then, tilting his head to the side. “I wouldn’t say he’s your only friend.”
“I do quite like his girlfriend…” I murmur.
“And Alejandro? Ronaldo?”
I purse my lips as his question draws thought. I’ve been considering Alejandro and Ronaldo as allies. Companions. But I’ve grown quite fond of them. Considering them as friends would set me up for heartache if anything were to happen. So I haven’t… At least openly. Despite my attempts to create some distance in our relationships, my subconscious has decided for me. Those two are my friends. It explains the immense distress I’m battling over Alejandro’s capture.
“I guess so.”
“Me?”
Silence ensues from both of us.
His question stuns me; I was prepared for him to stop at Alejandro and Ronaldo. There’s nobody else in Las Almas or back at home that I pay attention to. Besides Ghost, at least. I could answer him in a second. I almost do.
Ghost is infamous for his detachment. He’s quiet, short-tempered, dangerous and mysterious. I’ve heard the comments that he suits his code name. Spiritual beings do not communicate through speech but through action. Ghost is the physical embodiment of the epiphany. Anybody able to coax a few sentences from him outside missions is admirable. Outside of that, his physical emotions require deep analysis and theory to understand. The mask only makes things more difficult. I’ve never seen him show palpable kindness through his aura or words to anyone, never heard him allow the use of his name, never heard him offer others insight into the raging whirlwind of his mind.
And yet he lets those things slide around me.
He lets me speak his name when no one is listening. He offers me comfort when I need it most — if not through limited words, through soft gazes and a hand on my shoulder. I’m usually able to get him talking. Sometimes I receive short answers, sometimes I receive enough to help me understand more of that whirlwind mind. He even occasionally shows pieces of himself that take away from the guessing game I usually play.
I shut people out because the last people I let in betrayed me.
I never consider answering personal questions, but you tend to have a lot of them. And every time you ask…I almost answer
I guess you and I are more alike than I thought.
All of it has me wanting more. More of his mind, his words, the soft gazes I’ve noticed are reserved for me. What I already have is nothing compared to every naked truth he could be telling me. However, what I’ve managed to coax from him seems to be more than he’s told anyone in a long time. At first, I marked it down as me being the only female on the team or Ghost considered me fragile. But I've proved myself, and nothing about being a 'fragile female' (which I very well am not) does not automatically give me all these passes. I now realise it is much more than that.
Never once has he called me his friend. I already have. Now it’s his turn.
“I don’t mind you, Simon, but friendship can’t be one-sided,” I say. While it’s a simple statement, a silent question hides between each word. Are you my friend?
“If it was as one-sided as you think, you wouldn’t be calling me Simon.”
My heart skips a beat. There. It’s an answer to my unspoken words, but it’s not plain as day. As usual, Simon tells me something that is anything but straightforward. There’s room for interpretation in his answer—something that is beginning to tire me. It’s almost as if the honest answer is criminal and he’s trying to cover up his tracks. Almost as if not speaking that honest answer can allow him to deny it.
I don't bother concealing my annoyance. “That’s not what I want to hear and you know it.”
“Fuck sakes, Y\N, I said it,” he says. His voice comes out both argumentative and exasperated.
“No, you didn't. All I ever get out of you is stuff that works around the truth. Stuff I have to think about to understand.” I'm crossing a line, I know. I just can't help it. “What’s so hard about admitting it?”
“Don’t.”
His tone is final. I don’t care.
“Does the truth scare you?”
His eyes squint, becoming barely visible against the black paint, the mask, and the low light. I can clearly picture a scowl jumping across the many faces I’ve imagined. While I want to flinch away, I don’t. Not for a second do my eyes lower, and not for a second do I grow offensive. I remain calm and collected, which I think annoys him more.
“You want the truth?” he growls. The accent of Manchester seems to thicken. “Fine. I’ll tell you the truth. I don’t want to admit I think of you as a friend ‘cause I bloody well want to ignore it. For years, it’s only been me and I planned it to be for the rest of my life. Then all of a sudden you and your annoying cousin appear and jeopardise everything. The only person with an inkling of anything was Shepherd and I was fine with that. But now you’re catching up to him. You’ve so effortlessly undone everything I’ve worked hard to maintain.” The growl in his voice dies down the longer he speaks. In the last sentence, his voice is quiet, defeated, but a little begrudging. “And I knowingly let you.”
“If it was bothering you that much, you should have told me,” I say with a voice equally as quiet. “If I knew you didn’t want me to know so badly, I would have respected that.”
He shakes his head. “You don’t understand. I think about telling you everything. I may get pissy at you over your questions, but…” A sigh. The truth is shameful to him. “I look forward to them.”
“If it makes you feel any better…” I laugh a little. “It’s really annoying how intriguing you are. Not just your past and your face… When I’m not trying to guess what you look like, I’m refraining from asking you stupid questions. Shit like if you’re a cat or dog person.”
“Dog person,” he replies. Any hint of anger or annoyance has disappeared. “Cats have too much attitude.”
I squint. “You just don’t appreciate them.”
“You strike me as a cat person.” He pauses in thought. “You just remind me of a cat, really.”
I raise my brows, giving him an exasperated look. “Are you going to tell me I have an attitude?”
“Maybe. But there’s more to it.”
I cock my head in question.
“Cats are friendly. Independent.” His eyes shift and I wonder if there's a smirk beneath the mask. “Curious.”
“Was that another dig at my questions?”
“Yes. Now shut up and listen.”
Before he continues, I find myself turning my body so I can fully look at him, my shoulder against the concrete walls and my legs folded beneath me.
“There’s that look in their eyes that they know your worst thoughts. Your secrets. They’re also graceful. Got that high-class elegance about them. But they can be unpredictable, striking out when you least expect. Once they sink their claws into you…” His eyes search my face. “You can’t get rid of them.”
I look up at him in wonder, my mouth slightly agape as I try to find a suitable response. Nothing I could say would express the way his words sink in. I’ve always coined Simon to be the observant type, keeping to himself and remaining silent. But I never expected him to relay his finds. His usual short, sharp answers contrast the compliment greatly.
“I think…” A small smile curves my lips upwards. “…That was the most meaningful compliment I’ve ever gotten.”
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Never. Now I have a question.”
“The floor is yours.”
“Do you have, like, Queen Elizabeth tattooed on your face? The British flag?” I grin. “Something mask-worthy, you know?”
“Why does it have to be something British?”
“Because there’s no way you’re the only Brit I know that isn’t somewhat stereotypical.”
Simon huffs a laugh. “No stereotypical tattoos. Sorry to disappoint.”
“A big scar, then?”
He tilts his head. “No scars that make me want to wear it.”
I raise my brows. “So you do have a scar?”
“Only one big one.”
“Good to know.” I nod my head with thoughtful eyes. “I’ll add that to a mental note.”
His eyes widen a fraction. The skull sown to his balaclava only offers the view of his painted eyes and nothing. Not even his eyebrows. I guess he’s raising them in question.
“How often do you think about this?”
I let out a long breath. “You have no idea. I change what I think you look like every day.”
“What do you think I look like.”
I go quiet in thought for a moment. As I said, the image changes… Only more frequently than I want to admit. Sometimes the change is small. Sometimes the change is big. I know I’m not the only one stumped by this, either. John and I joked over it once. He said things eluding to him being unattractive. A crooked nose, a huge scar, broken teeth. Every time he made a guess I would laugh, but never did the ideas seep into my mind. Nothing in an unattractive sense, anyway. Despite the possibility, I can never picture him as ugly.
“It varies, but…” I take one last second to collect my thoughts. “Without that skull piece, you have dark eyebrows. I imagine your hair is brown. And you’re eyes…it’s hard to tell with the paint, but they’re more deep-set and heavy-lidded. The balaclava is tight enough to make me think you have a straight nose, high cheekbones, strong jaw…” I shake my head. “Beyond that, I’m stumped.”
I can tell he thinks deeply about each characteristic. I sit patiently and almost wait for confirmation, but I know better than that. If he’s not going to show his face, he’s not going to—
“My hair is brown.”
I’m about to backtrack on my previous thought when he reaches towards the space between my neck and shoulder. In the frenzy that has been the last hour, my hair has come undone. The braid was unsavable, making me pull out the band and attempt a ponytail…only for it to snap in two. My hair now falls in dishevelled waves. A small part of my hair falls over my shoulder. Simon gingerly reaches for it, curling it between his finger and examining it in the low light. …Can he hear how fast my heart is beating?
“Not like yours. A few shades lighter, maybe. And that scar…”
Even more gingerly, Simon pulls one of my hands from its folded position, and I pray my expression doesn’t betray me. Rough, calloused hands press against the back of mine. The size difference is almost comical. He guides it to his masked face, working his fingers working around mine to spread them out. He drags my hand over his right cheekbone, across the hollow of his cheek, and towards his jaw. My mind is hyper-fixated on the shape of his face.
“Right along there.”
His eyes continue to search my face. There’s nothing but curiosity in the blue-grey of his irises. Curious at what, I can’t tell. Everything about this has my mind raging. The way he looks at me, the way he holds my hand against the black balaclava, the way he towers over me even when sitting down... The thoughts that surface are shameful. He’s your lieutenant, for Christ’s sake. Have some respect. The remembrance of his position has little help.
If anything, it strengthens the fantasies.
His hold shifts on top of my hand, the pad of his thumb swiping across my skin to stop on the inner side of my wrist and press down. He may not have been able to hear my heartbeat…but now he can feel it at the worst possible moment.
“You’re heart is beating fast.” He inclines his head. “Do I make you nervous, Y\N?”
God, is my breathing even? I can’t tell.
“You just caught me off guard, is all.”
Simon hums thoughtfully as his hand breaks away from mine and reaches forward. His fingers connect with my collarbone before finding my neck, exploring upwards in search of a pulse point. A shiver of excitement and nervousness runs beneath my skin like a ripple. His other hand slides over my knee and up my thigh. If my heart was racing before, this is a life-or-death sprint.
Slow are his movements. Calculated. He knows exactly where my heartbeat reverberates in my neck. Instead, he drags the moment out, coaxing out his desired reaction. But there’s something else in the slowness: a window for me to flinch away and draw the physical line neither of us has ever drawn. We’ve brushed shoulders and hands. We’ve sat with our bodies aligned in cramped cars. He’s held my hair back in a bathroom as I threw up after a panicked episode (something I would like to forget if he wasn't so surprisingly understanding). He's placed a hand on my shoulder for many different reasons. All are excusable moments. The ones that surpass professional boundaries can be marked as friendly. However, the intimacy of this moment is new. Scary. Exciting.
“Did you know your bottom lip twitches before you lie?” Simon asks. I find myself at eye level with him. When did he get so close? “I don’t like lies. Try again.”
“Sometimes…” I breathe.
“Sometimes, what?”
Bastard. “Sometimes you make me nervous.”
“Why?”
“Because…” I frown. “I don’t know.”
He’s definitely leaning closer now. Not just with his head, but with his whole upper body. Out of the nerves Simon is so adamant on understanding, I retreat, only making it a few inches before my back hits the other wall. Simon half hovers over me, the hand that was on my thigh now bracing himself on the floor. There are only a few inches between our chests. Even less between our faces. Not once does he lose his connection with my pulse.
“Another lie.”
“I don’t know how to word it. That's not a lie.”
Simon drops his head so that his covered mouth hovers beside my ear.
“Good girl.”
Never has praise sounded so seductive. It takes every inch of concentration to reign in my self-control. I might have ripped off his mask then and there…
Only, I think he’s beating me to it.
From where his head hovers, I can’t see his masked face. The wide, strong shape of his shoulder obscures most of my vision. He retracts his hand from my neck to reach somewhere I can’t see. The sound of moving cloth widens my eyes and upsets the rhythm of my breathing, the uneven rise and fall of my chest barely brushing his.
Maybe he’s adjusting it, I convince myself. He has only ever offered you little pieces at a time. What he’s offering me now is more than he ever has at once. While my body screams for more, my mind knows I can’t expect too much from him. Whatever he’s doing now is more than enough.
“You’re breathing funny.”
The feeling of breath skims the shell of my ear and down my neck like a warm, ghostly waterfall. It takes me a second to notice a difference in his voice. It’s low, it’s rough, it’s teasing. All are easily noticeable and nothing new. What is new is the enhanced clarity. An added sharpness lingers in his accented words. The slight muffle is nowhere to be found.
I was wrong. He’s lifted his mask.
“Because you’re taking off your mask." My answer comes out in a weak whisper.
He doesn’t speak about the mask, instead repositioning his hand to my neck to find my pulse.
“If you can’t tell me,” he murmurs, returning to the previous topic, “your heartbeat can.”
A warm feeling presses into my neck. A gasp slips past my lips as my heartbeat continues to quicken and stumble beneath his thumb. Against my skin…I think Simon is smiling.
Nothing about this seems real. Simon plants slow kisses on my neck with his bare lips. They’re a little rough, yet soothing. Whether they’re full or thin, I can’t tell, but the lack of obvious signs paints an image of something in between. His nose brushes the base of my jaw. Just above the pointed tip is where the balaclava begins. I can feel the hard edges of the sewn-on skull pressing into my left temple. Light stubble covers his jaw.
As his mouth works slowly against my neck, my jaw, and my collarbone, my hand slides up and over his chest. I slowly feel his bare neck. Beneath my fingers, his Adam's apple bobs. Further I explore, feeling the planes of his skin. The stubble scratches against my curious hand. Raised skin runs in a line over the right side of his face; the scar. It’s thin and generally clean-cut. He pulls back slightly as I feel his face. A deep chuckle rumbles in his chest as my thumb traces over his lips. I was right, they are something between full and thin. His lower lip feels slightly fuller with a deep hollow beneath that curves into his chin.
When I find it in me to speak, my voice is breathy.
“Kiss me.” He seems to still at that. When his reply isn’t instant, I continue. “You don’t have to… But I won’t look. I swear it.”
Silently, he reaches for my hand. He holds his over mine for a moment as he did with the mask moments earlier. Then he gently pries it away. Cloth shifts in my air as he fixes the mask and pulls back. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I respect the decision. Simon looks down at me with lust-blown pupils. Mine must be the same.
He takes a second to examine me. My heavy-lidded eyes, my slightly parted lips, the way I slump beneath him, the glistening wet spots left on my neck. He whips it away before he speaks.
“Can I trust you?”
We both know the answer to that, so instead of saying the obvious, I one-up him.
“Do you want to trust me?”
Silence passes for a heartbeat.
“Of course I do,” he says softly. “I want to trust you. I want to touch you. I want to kiss you. …Undress you. I’ve wanted to for so long.”
Then he moves.
My thoughts go quiet as Simon’s hands reach upward. When his fingers brush the base of his mask, I reach out and still his hands. The action takes both of us by surprise. For months I’ve been thinking about this moment. Just now I’ve admitted how much what he looks like takes up my mind. Now I find myself stopping him, but not because I’ve changed my mind. I worry that this will be something he’ll regret.
“Simon,” I say. “You don’t owe it to me to show your face.”
“But I do.” He inclines his head. “Now keep your pretty eyes up.”
My breath catches in my throat as he pulls it off in one swift motion. I take in everything I’m seeing in amazement, wonder, and bewilderment.
He’s handsome. He’s really handsome.
The ruggedness and confidence he carries seem to be etched into the planes of his face. A light stubble shadows his angular, defined jaw. Just as I had imagined, the bridge of his nose is straight and strong. His high cheekbones, deep-set eyes and smudged black paint create deep shadows. His mouth is wide. The shape of them is a physical manifestation of what I had imagined. With an average fullness, his upper lip is slightly smaller with a soft cupid’s bow. Tracing the angles of his right cheekbone is that straight, silver scar. His hair isn’t as short as most other military men’s. It’s a little messy from the mask and, true to his words, a few shades lighter than mine. I can tell that, the longer it gets, the more it curls.
I stay silent as I take him in, eyes wide. Somehow I find the courage to slowly reach out. His blue-grey eyes dart to my hesitant fingers. When he doesn’t deny me, I close the space, this time feeling him without needing to imagine his image. I apply a little pressure as I brush his skin, feeling the warmth of his cheeks, the scar tissue on his cheekbone, and the stubble on his jaw. His eyes train on me. This is one of the few times I cannot understand what I see in them.
Whatever he’s thinking, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I stare back at Simon. Not Ghost, Simon.
“I was starting to think you weren’t real,” I say jokingly.
He laughs softly. One side of his mouth quirks up into a skewed smirk. My heart flutters at the sight of it. When he speaks, it’s with that teasing tone that always had me imagining a smirk. Matching his expressions to his tones is a strange thing to see, but I love it.
“Is this real enough for you?” he asks.
I hum in agreement. “You’re a lot better looking than I imagined.”
He raises a brow in mock offence. “Do I radiate unattractiveness? I’m offended.”
“I never said I imagined you ugly.”
I draw my hands back, taking another good look at him. My amazed smile remains. So does the awe in my eyes. Now that I know how good-looking he is, it’s going to be hard to get him out of my head. At least I can’t scold myself over falling for a faceless man anymore.
“I guess if I die tonight… I can go a little happier.”
The way he tilts his head and looks up through lowered brows sends my mind into a frenzy. I’m used to the action with his mask on, usually with the sewn-on skull. Now, with every part of his face laid bare for me, the feeling it stirs comes tenfold. He gives me a fake accusing look. Beneath the teasing air he gives off, that desire remains.
“A little?” he murmurs. His face grows closer, giving me a better view of the hollows and curves and marks of war.
“A little not enough?”
His eyes dip to my lips. “Not by a longshot.”
Then Simon kisses me.
Eyes fluttering closed, I sink into the feeling of his lips against mine. Gently. Hesitantly. Does he expect me to pull away? How could he think such a thing when I almost seemed desperate when I asked him? My hands slide over his chest, slowly linking behind his neck as the kiss deepens.
For a moment, everything fades away. The gunfire, the screams, the impending death we may face any moment... All of it reduces to a meaningless blur. Suddenly all that exists is me, Simon, and the secret embrace we share. In our kiss is a million unspoken words; a tidal wave of passion laced with a bittersweet sadness. The talk of ‘dying happy’ is no exaggeration. We very well may die, and seeing his face and feeling his touch eases the painful thought. Maybe this way I can find him in the afterlife - seek out his mysterious eyes and lopsided smirk and spend an eternity together. Or perhaps there is no afterlife, and this is my last stroke of luck.
Satisfied with the knowledge of what he does to me, Simon lowers his hand from my neck. The pressure reapplies near my belt. His fingers timidly skim the bottom of my tanktop, pulling the tucked part from my waistband. My own fingers weave through his brown hair as his hand slides further beneath. My kiss falters when he finds one of my breasts. His hand comfortably rests over it, his palm slowly kneading at the flesh. A low groan builds at the back of my throat.
After a moment, we pull away, chests rising and falling as we take deep breaths. His forehead rests against mine and suddenly I'm wishing we could do this over again. Except I picture less sadness to tinge every word and action. I picture the safety of home, the warmth of a bed, a carefree air that allows us to just enjoy the other's company. Reality comes back in a painful rush.
“I don’t want to die,” I whisper.
His hand retreats from my breast at my words. Instead, he takes a hold of my waist, giving me a comforting squeeze.
“You are not going to die. Not today. Not when there’s so much more I want from you.” He adds the last part with a teasing, suggestive smirk.
He looks down at my lips again—
“Ghost, how do you copy?”
We both freeze at the sound of a voice, so caught up in the moment that the radio is forgotten. Both the unspeakable things and sorrowful thoughts flooding my mind suddenly vanish at the sound of a familiar voice. There’s an equally received look on Simon’s face as he reaches for the small radio.
“I read you loud and clear, Sergeant,” he says. “What’s your location?”
“I…don’t know,” John replies solemnly. “Streets are crawling with Shadows. Where are you?”
“You see church spires above the houses?”
There’s a second of silence. Then…
“I see them.”
“Good. Head straight there and come inside. No Shadows here yet. They’ll be busy going door to door.”
“Affirmative. I’m on my way. Have you got any word from Y/N?”
Simon looks at me, silently giving me the floor to speak. “I’m right here, Johnny.”
There’s a sigh of relief on the other end. “Oh, thank fuck. You in one piece?”
“I’m all here. You?”
“Got a shot to the shoulder. Nothing I can’t handle.”
For the next while, Simon and I sit huddled side by side, guiding Johnny through the radio. I generally leave the talking to Simon. Listening to him speak and sinking into his warmth is good enough. Every so often, he'll say something that takes me by surprise. Sometimes it's a dad joke, either really good or incredibly bad. Sometimes it's something that alludes to Simon not minding Johnny. He never outright admits it, but saying 'I like you alive' to Johnny's 'so you do like me' speaks for itself. I smile at that. I have sunk my claws into him, and he's not going to be able to get rid of me till the day I die.
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lululandd · 9 months
Text
rabid; (i.)
pairing: platonic simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader
word count: 956
warnings: comedy, aftermath of torture, mild gore
note: heheh >:3 (also on ao3)
summary:
ghost has a love-hate relationship with his neighbour of six years. on one hand they’re quiet enough, nice enough, considerate enough and never once had bothered him in any way, but on the other hand he is a highly trained soldier with highly trained senses and the things he hears travelling through his walls are batshit insane.
part i. | part ii. | part iii. | part iv.
He guesses they are an entertainer or a comedian or some sort because on rare occasions, they—whether he wanted to or not—made him laugh. The absurdity of the questions and things that came out of their mouth really makes him feel like he has a glimpse of what a worry free civilian life could be.
On one particularly rowdy night he heard the one sided conversation about anal, which rapidly escalated to how peoples arseholes can stretch up to seven inches in diameter and therefore, theoretically could fit two smaller raccoons.
He listened in fascinated horror how that thought came into their mind, how they associated arseholes with raccoons, and why in christ fuck did they sound so cheerful about it. Maybe he’s just a battle hardened, workaholic soldier that has only seen carnage and suffering, but even if such a thought came to his mind, it would not be classified as a happy thought and he would not laugh about it.
Until eight months later where he’s interrogating an American that he really wants to just straight up murder and remembers his neighbour.
He opens the door that leads to the rest of the warehouse and calls out to his men, “I need two raccoons. Small but not pups.”
He was met with silence and a confused looks, but he saw Gaz and Soap get on it and round up several soldiers.
“Alive!” He barked at them.
Soap looked worriedly at Gaz, “What do you think he’s gonna do with live raccoons?”
The other man shrugged, “You think he’s gonna threaten him with rabies?” Gaz gnashed his teeth together, “Let them bite him or something?”
One of the Lance Corporals behind them chimed, “I kinda wanna see.”
In came a chime of ‘yeah’s from the other men.
Ghost had made sure the American in question heard his request of the live raccoons before taking a seat on the table holding all his tools and lighting up a cigarette.
He looked at the man’s surroundings, the litter of teeth and nails on the floor, three parts of his severed ring finger, and the blood splatters on the makeshift plastic floor. The cleanup crew’s gonna at least be a little happy about that.
“You like raccoons, mate?” He offers, lighting what seemed to be his third cigarette.
The question caught him off guard. “What?”
“Raccoons. Trash pandas. Those chubby lil wankers with grubby hands.” He curled his palms and did mock scratching motions.
“You’re crazy.” He spat.
“I am.” For even thinking of trying this over his neighbour’s demented jokes.
Fourty five minutes later Gaz came knocking on his door.
“Got your furry friends, boss.” He gestures at a cage sitting by the door. The animals seemed calm, they couldn’t have just nicked it from some random bins and throw them in there.
“Cheers, Gaz.” He saw the man linger. “Anything else?”
“Can we observe, Sir?”
“No.” came his quick answer. If he really has to do what he thinks he’s gonna do, he’d rather his men not see it. They’ve seen so much in their line of work already, he doesn’t want to add to their nightmares.
Imagining one of them having PTSD from seeing a harmless animal makes him feel guilty.
He took the cage from Gaz’s hands and placed it nicely on the floor, a little way away from the American’s feet.
“You know that saying?” He puts on his best southern accent, mimicking Graves. “What crawled up your butt and died?”
The man’s eyes widened and he tried so hard to shift further into his seat, trying to create as much distance between them as possible. Ghost lets the moment go on for a little longer. It makes all the difference, really; whether you rush into the torture or letting them sit and wonder about the choices they think they have.
“I heard somewhere that your arse can stretch up to seven inches in diameter.” He pointed at the raccoons, “The normal sized bastards can fit into a four inch hole. But I’m being nice today and gonna give these smaller ones some wiggle room.”
He can’t help but crouch closer to the cage and coo at them as the man starts yelling for help.
“So.” He said in a calm voice, listing his head slowly when the man had stopped screaming his throat dry. “Since I’m a very nice man today I’m gonna give you two options.”
Fat rolls of tears had started to run down the man’s cheeks, his chest heaving as he begged for mercy.
“Do you want me to sedate these raccoons so they don’t claw your insides or do you wanna..” He remembers a word that floated into his flat one night, “..rawdog it?”
Soap had never seen a cleaner interrogation room before. Not from Ghost, the man’s usually so brutal about it. He remembers seeing parts of a live brain one time because Ghost had bashed their skull so badly and remembered having to shoot the person dead out of pity. But today? The intel was good, the man was still alive with almost all of his body parts; save for some of his teeth and nails and the chopped up finger,
and the raccoons.
They were alive and Ghost seemed to never have opened the cage at all.
When Ghost came home that month he heard his neighbour say something about a ‘little birthday celebration’ for tomorrow. He checked his watch and decided to walk to the bakery and get them some cake. That last operation went smoothly, and he has them to thank.
He can’t wait to hear what other mental things that will come out of their mouth in the future and apply them to his work.
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mangowafflesss · 10 months
Note
hi!! absolutely love ur writing, i was wondering if maybe u could write something with an afab! with simon/ghost, where the reader is depressed or deals with suicidal ideations and ghost saves them? if thats too dark of a topic, that is totally fine!! i just have gone through things like this irl and it would be comforting to read someone be there for them.
Russian Roulette
CONTENT WARNINGS: Attempted Suicide with a gun, Talks of depression, Alcohol.
I’m serious if anything about this bothers you in any way please DO NOT read it. I’m trying to look out for you and if anyone is feeling this way please seek help or talk to someone.
My messages are always open to chat if you don’t have anyone to talk to. I love you all dearly <3
When you had bought the revolver you were thinking clear as day, it was to help you defend yourself of course.
But oh how that changed.
You’d fallen into a pit, not a physical one but a mental pit. It was dark and you couldn’t find a way out, maybe if you waited until morning- no you needed to get out now.
The bottle in your hand was nearly empty just like the chamber of the gun you were holding. It felt heavy in your hand but it was going to be even heavier six feet under ground, with dirt piled upon your coffin.
You needed to do this, it was how you are going to be free from this world. You’re dumb and stupid, you don’t fit in here, you never did. You’re taking up too much space in this world for someone who probably deserves it more.
You’re just useless.
It’s what you’ve been repeating for months on end. You’ve been watching the people you’re close with start to drift, it’s always happened to you since a young age.
‘Ewww who wants to play with the ugly girl’
‘Why would you be friends with her she’s so stupid’
Why would anyone need you? When they have so many other options. But hey that’s what you are, a last option. A last resort of getting their life back together while yours is falling into the deepest pits of despair you’re trying so hard to crawl out of.
But you can’t, it’s how life was supposed to go. You’re used to being dumped onto the streets like a lost puppy whose owners don’t want anymore.
You take another swig of your bottle of choice and press the gun to your head.
*ping*
You side glanced at your phone and scoffed as you read yet another message from Simon. He doesn’t care, just do it.
Pressing the gun to your temple you press the trigger but nothing comes out other and a small click.
They always say that men only receive flowers when they’re dead, but you’ve never received them when you were alive. Other than the random man outside of the grocery store handing them out to people for free on Valentine’s Day last year. You hope he has a good life ahead of him. You shouldn’t be excited but you are deep down wondering what kind of flowers people will lay around your grave - if anyone actually shows up that is.
*Click*
You sigh as you realise you’re still alive but then your heartbeat picks up as you hear a bang come from your door. “Y/N open the door!” Simon's voice on the other side makes your skin crawl, he isn’t supposed to be here.
You ignore him and go back to what you were doing. Maybe it’ll be all over soon.
*Click*
“C’mon love, open the door for me” he sounded desperate and also out of breath. You were crying as you heard him but you soldiered on, it can’t be long now.
*Click*
Simon starts to panic as he doesn’t hear you answer, his heart is in his throat and he ran all the way here after he got your text. You probably didn’t think he would see it so late at night but you must’ve forgotten he’s an insomniac.
He raises his leg into the air and kicks in your door, it flies open and he sees you there sitting on the floor with a bottle in one hand and a gun in the other. You were dressed in your uniform for work, you clearly didn’t go due to the fact it isn’t dirty like it always is.
You looked so different…
The bags under your eyes were darker than ever and your hair looked a mess, so did your skin. Your face was wet with tears and Simons heart stopped. He took a step towards you but you waved the gun at him to not make him come closer but he didn’t care, he would rather be hurt than to see you like this.
“Hey, hey… why don’t you pass me the gun” he said in a low whisper but you just shook your head vigorously and dropped the bottle on the ground, the glass shards flew everywhere but you didn't care.
“No Simon. You're not supposed to be here!” you sob out and he takes slowly paced steps towards where you sat on the floor. You pointed the gun at your head again and Simon could see the pain in your eyes.
“Y/N, please don’t do this” he was on the verge of tears himself and you uncontrollably sobbed as the gun shook in your hand. “I have to Simon, the thoughts- they won’t stop”
“What’re they saying?” He asked which took you by surprise.
“The truth! I’m nothing Simon! Nothing but a waste of space in this world, look at me I’m not someone people want to look at”
“That’s not true. You want to know what I think?” You don’t say anything but you decide to hear him out anyway, it’s not like it’s going to matter anyway.
“You’re loved-” you scoffed at this but he continued anyway “- Price, Soap, Gaz they all love you; your presence lights up the entire room but obviously I can’t speak for them, but from me? You’re amazing, funny and a hella good cook. I know what you’re going through right now, trust me I’ve been there and if you let me I can help you”
“How are you going to help me?”
“I’ll be there for you, always until those stupid voices in your head go away, every step you take I’ll be there alongside you” you didn’t even notice he was kneeling in front of you and he had somehow coaxed the gun out of your hand.
“What if it’s just a waste of time”
“There’s no such thing” he pulls you into his lap and wraps you up in a hug you collapse into. Your sobs and wails echo around the apartments walls as you let all of your frustrations out into Simons chest.
He feels you shake and holds you tighter in hopes you would never disappear from him. He lets out a few tears out of his eyes as he buries his face into your hair, rocking you back and forth in hopes of calming you down.
“I’m here, I’ll never let you go”
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I saw you do Marvel, by chance could I get a Peter Parker x male reader?
The reader is very cuddly with Peter, always holding him and burying his face into his neck.
Peter Parker x male reader
Headcanons
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I just finished spiderman Miles Morales and started replaying the spiderman ps4 game again, so I’m crawling the walls for spiderman rn.
I feel Peter is a very touch starved person in general, so if you end up being super cuddly and touchy, he doesn’t mind at all.
In the beginning he has to teach himself its okay for you to touch and love on him though, since he isn’t used to anyone but aunt may and maybe Ned touching him, but when he gets used too it he loves it.
Did you know some male spiders purr? Yeah. Purring Peter, I will go down to my grave with this headcanon. Expect a tiny barely noticeable rumble from him when you guys cuddle up real close.
Sometimes he falls into his spider urges and will bundle you two up in blankets and other soft things to make a little cave of sorts, where you two can snuggle up and cuddle all you want, away from the bothers of the world. He will never admit it out loud but he does preen a bit when you compliment his “nest”
Did you also know some spiders hibernate? Expect a sleepy cuddly Peter when its real cold out, and if there’s a snowstorm, you’ll have to keep an eye on him, and maybe even herd him home into bed. He won’t go into hibernation but expect him to be even clingier than normal.
He’s also allergic to peppermint, cuz spider.
But outside of that Peter doesn’t mind your affection, he might even revel in it quite a bit. He will never admit it since it makes him feel a little selfish to love your attention so much, but you can tell.
He always looks forwards to coming home to you, especially after a long day or tough patrol. Sometimes the thoughts of your hugs and kisses are the only thing that gets him through the day, and when things get tough, he just has to remind himself he has you to get back too.
He also fights harder and doesn’t give up, because he has to return home to you, to your warm embrace and loving touches. He can’t bear the thought of losing you or leaving you behind.
Peter does make a habit out of returning home instead of getting medical treatment though, so he can cuddle up against you. He claims your love makes him heal faster, but in reality, he just wants you to coddle him a bit, and he hates hospitals.
So, you get really good at patching him up and have to punish him with no cuddles and kisses for a while because he won’t take care of himself. Peter always starts whining and begging you for kisses, and when you don’t give them to him, he will act like he’s dying.
I feel Peter struggles with words sometimes, so when you guys argue he’s more likely to bring you a bouquet of your favorite flowers and hug you. So, if you enjoy the physical contact, it only helps him even more.
You both expressing your love through physical contact is good, but it does mean you guys probably need to remember to communicate with words at times, just in case.
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reidslovely · 8 months
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When My Time Comes
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Content Warnings: Graphic depictions of:gun violence, murder, blood, throwing up, and panic attacks. Suicidal ideation, and a few swear words. Reader goes by the name 'Angel' throughout the story. Slightly supernatural/horror I'm not sure how to take it. Very different than anything I've written before please just hang in there lol. It's also unedited because I wrote it in a one day and wanted to get it out as fast as possible before the inspiration left me.
Pairing: Mob!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader/OC
Word Count: 5k
Genre: Angst with happy ending
I told y'all Mob!Peter was making a comeback..this is his rebirth. Thanks to Hozier's Work Song.
Please reblog and/or leave a comment instead of liking or hearting this post! Thank you.
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There’s an uncomfortable frigid feeling in the room. It’s like that moment when giving a class presentation and everyone is looking dead at the person. Waiting for them to drop because they can tell the speaker doesn’t want to be here, and that they’re waiting for the worst to happen and the other shoe to drop. 
“Angel-” 
Felicia’s voice carried throughout the room. The legs she stood on grew wobbly, her vision narrowing. A mix of bitter bile and anger grew in her throat as she shot the platinum haired girl a heated look. 
“Don’t call me that. Don’t call me-” She shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her. “This is your fault!”
 It wasn’t. But it was easier to blame her, the person delivering the blow than it is to blame others. 
Harry’s hands grabbed the distraught girl from under her armpits, to keep her from falling and approaching Felicia any closer than she already was. Harry tucked her into his arm, hand flattening out against her back, trying to soothe the heart he knew was breaking. The smell of the iron on his shirt flooded her nostrils, and only provoked more tears. She fought against Harry, who only held tighter. 
“I wanna see him. Let me see him. I-”
“Angel, that’s not a good i-”
“Let her, Harry. Let her.” Felicia’s words were soft yet firm. Her lip was tucked in between her teeth as she wiped at her face. Harry looked between the two women, and at Miles who was standing in front of the door. He was fighting his own losing battle, and denying her would put him in his own grave. Once he released the girl, she ran as fast as she could and wobbled up the stairs to the bedroom all the way at the end of the hall. Vision so blurry from anxiety, and tears that she couldn’t even make out May, who'd just left the room shutting the door behind her. 
“Angel, you can’t go in there. You shouldn’t. Pete, he wouldn’t want you to see him like this. Just stay out here for a li-”
Usually she’d respect May’s wishes, and listen to her wise words. Angel knew deep in her heart of hearts that she was right. That this was an event that would stick with her for life and couldn’t be treated so loosely. But, her husband, Peter, was sitting on the other side of that door and you needed to see him. 
Pushing May aside, nothing, absolutely nothing, could prepare her for what laid on the other side of that door. 
“Pete.” Her words faltered seeing his entire torso bandaged, a deep red of blood already seeping through the clean white color of the bandages. Angel carried herself as far as she could before dropping to her knees, crawling across the floor to the bed. 
“A..Angel.” 
Peter’s eyes wouldn’t open, but his voice was somewhat there. Tired and strained, her hands grasped his, as she bowed her head against the memory foam of the death bed. He wasn’t dead. Not yet. 
“Shhh, I’m right here.” There was a sense of dread crawling into the bed with him. It’s the same bed they’d shared for years, but it’s different now as he lays dying. Out of pure reflex her hand reaches out, resting on his torso. He’s too weak to even flinch, her hand soaking with his blood. They’d been trying for hours to stop the damage the attack did to his insides.
“It happened all too fast and there were..too many. His body isn’t healing as fast as it usually does.” Felicia’s explanation came back to her. So much for being superhuman. Angel’s head pressed against his temple, as tears trickled down her cheeks hitting his bare collarbone. 
“Oh Angel..” Peter whispered, pressing his head back against hers. “Don’t cry over me.” 
She shook her head. “��M not crying Pete, cause you’ll be fine. May gave you more of your blood, and your body is gonna speed up its process. And..and you’re gonna be okay.”
“I’m dying, Angel.” 
‘Shut up.” 
“No listen okay.” He used what strength he had to open his eyes, looking at her through half lidded eyes. “I am going to die. I know it and you..” 
He coughed, blood splattering out of his mouth. “You kn-kno-know it.” She wiped the blood off his mouth letting tears fall. 
“I love you…so much. You have been..the best part of my life.” She opened her mouth to respond. He closed his eyes again. Bringing his hand to hold her side close to him. “Just..just lay here with me okay?” 
His chest rattled with a shaky breath, she hiccuped choking on her sobs. Laying her head against his cold one. She'd always pictured dying in this bed with him. But she thought she’d be older, thought she’d at least have had some kids- some grandkids. Thought it would be both of them on a quiet, average night. One where she’d go to sleep and just never wake up. 
Never did she think Peter would be lying here dying at only 31 one years old. Angel knew what Peter did for work was dangerous, deadly even. It killed her father, it killed his uncle. Both knew these actions had consequences.  Yet, Peter wasn’t human like everyone else. He had altered DNA from being studied as a kid, from being bit by a spider at seventeen that gave him powers that he used to climb his way up the ladder of organized crime. Yet, those same powers and abilities were what had him lying here fighting to keep going. 
“Peter..” She whispered against his cold skin. “Peter.” Nothing. She put her hand over his heart and felt nothing. No warmth, no movement, nothing. Her hands shook, looking around in panic for anything..anyone. 
“Peter!” 
The yell was louder this time. One that burns the lungs. She shakes him, and shakes him trying to get him back. Starting to attempt her own CPR screaming for him to come back, to not leave like this. Being so engrossed with her own grief and anger, she doesn't even process everyone rushing in. Harry and Felicia pull her off of him kicking and screaming, as May calmly pulls the sheet over his head, before kissing his forehead. 
Angel hated her. She raised him and she’s not even fighting for his life right now. 
Not her, not Harry, not Felicia. None of them. 
“He’s gone.” Harry spoke sitting on the floor with her, holding her as she screamed through the sobs. His legs pinned hers down rocking up back and forth. The smell of the iron from the blood on Harry’s shirt and her body wafted through her nostrils. Between the smell of her dead husband's blood and the pure panic seeping through the body she couldn’t hold back any longer. Angel’s body hunched forward on reflex as vomit spewed out of her mouth and onto Harry and the floor. 
The blonde man didn’t even flinch, rubbing her back as you slumped forward and cried. A part of her laid dead on that bed with her husband's cold body. 
-
The days lingered, in a still limbo. None of it felt in order. Felicia fed her some cocktails of sedatives, to keep her sane as they both helped May plan the funeral. “He didn’t want a shiva.” Angel spoke from the couch, biting down around the cuticle of her nail. 
“I know we aren’t giving him one, just a wake and funeral and a remembrance party.” Felicia spoke, her hand reaching out to hold the woman's leg. Her free hand pulled her fingers out of her mouth. 
“A fucking party?” She spat. “Is that what his death means to you? Some fucking excuse to get shit faced, so you can live with yourself for walking him into that fucking warehouse.” 
Felicia bit down on her cheek, and took a deep breath. She could almost feel Peter’s hand on her shoulder and his stern yet soft demand for an apology to Felicia. 
“I’m sorry. I should-”
“It's fine.” Felicia says, pulling the widow into a hug, letting her head rest on her shoulder. Angel thanked Felicia for her patience, because at this point she had none left. May’s shaky hand covered her own mouth holding back a sob, Angel pulling her into the hug, the three of them taking a moment to cry. 
-
Harry and Miles had dealt with the dirty part. Harry had come home with a bag of medical supplies the night Peter died. He and May injected him with more of his blood that Harry had altered at Oscorp, both hoping for some last resort. Angel sat on the chair in the corner watching them. She had volunteered to wash and dress him before the coroner took him away. The man, Mr. Weekes had dealt in Peter’s dealing before, and he was listed specifically as who Peter wanted to treat him post mortem. 
“Your death wishes list in your will is super morbid.”
 She spoke in a low monotone voice, washing the blood off his arms. It was weird to see him like this: cold and still. Not bantering back and forth with her. “I appreciate it though, I just wish you’d told me about all this sooner. You’re demanding even in death.”
She washed his face next, and stitched up some of the wounds on his chest before dressing him in some of his more comfortable casual clothes. 
“If only you’d tell me what suit you wanted to be fucking burried in. Planned everything else out..” 
Shuffling through his suits, she started fighting back the tears as she came across his wedding suit. Again, feeling his hand on her back, trying to talk her through it. He always knew this was happening before she did. Angel pressed the palm of her hands into her eyes as she started to cry. Heartbeat racing, it felt like it was crawling up her throat and getting stuck. It felt like choking on nothing, causing her to gasp for breath. She dropped herself down into the soft green chair in the back of the closet, crying and gasping for air as she progressed. She started walking herself through it the best one could. Putting a hand on her chest following the breathing techniques, she tried to alter her breathing as much as she could. Once she started coming down, her vision settled back into normal. She looked up at the racks of clothing and let out a shaky, yet normally paced breath. She had settled on the grayish green suit he’d worn only a couple days before. Slamming the closet door to the closet behind her, she shoved the suit into the bag wanting to be done with it all.
“I shouldn’t hate you..” She started, sitting on the bed with him. Putting his watch on him and staring at him. “And I don’t..I don’t think I do. I’m just so..fucking angry. At everyone, at myself, at you. I shouldn’t have let you go, I should have gone with you.” 
Angel laid next to him, his body cold and their sheets still slightly stained in blood. Maybe it was gross and fucked up. However, next to him, was the only place she felt peace. There was a brief staring contest with the syringe filled with some  liquid that laid on a night stand. One stab to the heart would make everything go away, she could be with him again. Maybe the cocktail of sedatives everyone kept feeding her would do it for her at some point. 
“Mrs. Parker.” Mr. Weekes says walking in, rolling the gurney in with him. Harry and Miles in tow behind him. “I have to take him now. Is that okay?” 
“Angel..” Harry’s voice sounded pitiful, she felt her heart squeeze as she sat up.
“Yeah, yeah.” She sighed, scurrying out of the bed. Flattening out her clothes, watching Harry help Mr. Weekes transfer Peter to the gurney. Miles comforted her, his arms wrapping around her rubbing her back. Harry nodded his head towards the door, telling him to walk Angel out of the room. He followed directions sitting her in Peter’s office downstairs, both sat in their grief. 
“Why does everyone call you Angel?” Miles asks, wanting to take her mind off Peter. Funny enough, Peter was the reason why she even had the nickname. 
“When Peter and I started dating he brought me home and everyone was there with him at the time. They were ready to meet me if they didn’t know me already. Him, May, Gwen, Felicia, pretty much all of us…he walks me in and he goes "everyone this is Angel, Angel this is everyone.” 
Shr laughs, and Miles smiles. “Everyone just kept calling me Angel till he realized about 30 minutes later that he’s called me Angel instead of my real name. So it was just a pet name that became a nickname. So everyone, including my own mother, calls me it now.” She watched Miles walk around Peter’s office taking in every piece of him. 
“I’m really gonna miss him. He taught me so much, he helped me and my mom. I just..he was like a brother to me.”
“He thought a lot of you too. He cried on your 21st birthday, talking about how much you grew up and how proud he was of you.” She looked at Peter’s will open on the table, her and Harry had gone over it earlier. “You should head home Miles.”
“Are you gonna be okay? I can stay here.”
“Yeah, I have Felicia and May..and Harry.”
Miles nods, engulfing her in a hug. Angel smiled sadly, hugging him back, sliding an envelope from Peter’s desk into his pocket. “No questions. It’s what Pete wanted you to have. There's a note in there you should read it.” 
Miles nodded and patted his pocket, taking the keys off the desk and headed out the office doors. 
-
Grief was a funny thing, it’s a terrible gutting feeling one minute that had her laying in the bloodied bedsheets with your dead husband one minute, and sitting in the bathroom with her high school best friend laughing at memories another. Gwen had flown in from London the moment she heard, she helped get Angel out of bed and bathe her for Peter’s funeral seeing as she could barely bring herself out of the guest room.
 “He really loved you.” Angel whispered, her head resting on her knees as Gwen sat by the tub with her. Gwen tilted her head to the side laughing, her blonde hair falling over her shoulder. 
“He loved you more.” Gwen says. “I remember when we broke up and I told him if he didn’t ask you out I was going to do it for him. And I think that terrified him more.” They both laughed. “I knew he was going to marry you before he knew, before you knew even” 
“Yeah?” Angel asked, smiling at her, tears rolling from her eyes. 
“You two were made for each other. And I was lucky enough to love both of you.” Gwen whispered, taking her hand. “Let’s wash your hair, yeah?” 
“Okay.” Angel nodded leaning back in the tub.
-
Standing by his coffin was awkward; she felt like a little girl at her daddy’s funeral again. Not knowing how to stand next to the body, not liking the way the pity filled stares felt, so she focused on his body. There was a rosy tint to Pete’s cheeks, and he almost looked alive. She rubbed his cheek looking at the gifts lining his coffin, stuff people wanted to lay to rest with him. “It’s only been five days, and I’m losing my mind.” Her voice whispered to him, her hand holding his.
 “I don't know if I can do this without you.” She flattened out the white shirt under his tux and took a deep breath. 
“Let's sit dear.”
 May sniffles, holding her side reassuringly. Angel nodded, wrapping an arm around May, rubbing her shoulder. No one knew her pain like May Parker. She’d become her rock in the haze of grief. She had lost her husband and her nephew who was more her son than anything. She’d been staying at the house with Angel and everyone, she’d even climbed into bed with her most nights like a child seeking comfort from her mother. She was thankful for her and thankful Peter had brought May to her. They were the two most important women in his life and bonded like no other. 
-
“Peter Benjamin Parker was the love of my life, and he was an amazing man.” Angel spoke into the mic standing before friends, family, and acquaintances. She looked down at him in the coffin, and smiled at him, already wiping away tears. 
 “I know to many of you he was frightening, and strong. He seemed unforgiving, cold, and inhumane on occasion but he was my best friend, and my soulmate. He was a complex human and that…is what brought his life to such a short stop. I’m no good at public speaking. I'm sorry, this was always his thing. He was so charming and knew how to talk to you all, and I stood behind him every step of the way. But in the last few days, I discovered he was actually the one standing behind me every step we took together, and he also stood behind many of you and helped you all in numerous ways. I think he left a part of him in all of us, and I hope we can all be half the person he was one day..I- I’m sorry. Harry..Har-.” 
“I got you go, go.” Harry ushered Angel off the podium covering her crying frame from onlookers. She sniffled, wiping her eyes stepping off the podium into Gwen’s arms sitting back down between her and May. May kissed her head, assuring  that it was all going to be okay. Her hands comforting and cradling her face as Angel tried to quietly bawl her eyes out. She stared at the casket in front of her during Harry’s speech, slowly turning everything around her out. 
-
“Angel.” Eddie Brock smiled as she stood outside watching Peter be lowered into the ground. She smiled at him in return, letting him engulf her in a hug.
 “Oh I’m so sorry, Peter was such a good guy. Kind of scary..but..good.”
Angel laughed sadly, squeezing his shoulders. “I know he meant a lot to you Ed.” 
“He did, he really saved my ass more than once. I don’t know what I’ll do without him.” 
She tilted her head, and tried her best to smile at him. “Hopefully stay out of trouble.”
Eddie shook his head back and forth, giving a smirk that said ‘We’ll see.’
They exchanged sad goodbyes and she watched him leave heading towards his car. She was thankful that Peter’s death was kept out of the headlines, it took some begging and bribing Betty Brant but it was worth it for such an intimate and private time. 
She watched the grave diggers starting to fill in the dirt, and she contemplated staying the night on the bench. But May came, wrapping her arms around Angel, a jacket you immediately identified as Peter’s from smell alone. 
“Why don’t you come home with me tonight?” May offered, pushing hair from the girls face. 
“That’d be nice, yeah.”  Angel whispered. “How have you not lost it yet? All I want to do is crawl in that hole with him.”
“I know you do. I was there once, it’s a terribly awful feeling Angel, I know.” May frowned, holding her arm with hers as they walked together to the car. “Peter, bless him. I love him, he was my son no matter what anyone said he was my boy. But because of that I saw every side of him and Peter had been ready to go since Ben died. And I find peace in thinking that they are together again, and that he is safe and protected..and- I’m sorry” May’s voice broke and she fanned her face. “And they are here in any way we want them to be.”
There was quiet for a moment before Angel let out a soft, yet grief riddled laugh.
“I need what you have.” You laughed sadly, both of you crying now. 
May let a teary laugh burst from her chest. “We’ll go make some tea and talk about it.”
That's what they did. The two had a girls night with Gwen and spent it remembering Peter in their own way. About twenty minutes in She had wandered off into Peter’s old bedroom. Smiling as she stood in the doorway, and she knew grief was a funny thing because she could see the two of them about fifteen years younger dancing in his bedroom practicing for prom. 
“Ouch that was my foot!” She yelled out. Peter dropped to his knees dramatically, grabbing her leg inspecting her foot playfully. 
“Not broken.” He placed a kiss on the top of her foot before jumping to his feet. Watching her smile and scrunch her nose.
“I didn’t say it was.” 
‘Well I had to make sure I didn’t hurt my girl.” 
She shook her head in response, rolling her eyes. Hands rubbing his shoulders, placing his glasses on the top of his head. “Are you gonna do that at our wedding too?” She teased. 
Peter pulled a face laughing, racking his head back and forth thinking. “Maybe! But since when are we getting married? What have you and Gwendy been planning, mhm?”
Angel looked over at his desk where she’d found her engagement ring tucked away only a couple years later. 
“I couldn’t find the blue quilt but I found the gray one and everything is set up and ready when..”
They both froze looking at the green velvet box in her, now shaky, hand. 
“Shit I knew I should’ve put it in the safe. My girlfriend is so nosey.” He laughed it off taking the green box from her hand. “You just couldn’t wait a couple weeks till your birthday mhm?” He laughs, kissing on her face. Angel could feel warmth wash over her face and body, tucking her hair behind her ear. 
“I was just looking for those pictures from our trip upstate you had processed.” 
Peter smiled tugging up his gray sweatpants, dropping onto one knee. 
“Angel, my sweet girl. I have loved you for years, for far longer than I remember. Ever since we were in middle school, and I got lucky enough several years ago to have you want me. Maybe we are a little young to get engaged, but I know I want to be with you forever. I’m not asking for a wedding anytime soon, I just want to know that eventually in-”
“Yes.” You cut him off excitedly, hands cupping over your mouth. “Sorry, sorry.”
Peter scrunched his nose, standing up as he slid the ring on your finger twirling you around. 
“She said yes!” Peter yells throughout the house, the announcement bouncing off the walls and making a home in its fixtures. 
May’s excited cheer could be heard all the way up the steps. You laughed, wrapping your arms around him as he spun you. 
Walking towards the perfectly made bed, she mentally thanked May for never changing it. For keeping it the same all these years later. She took her shoes off, crawling into the bed closing her eyes waiting for sleep to wash over like a wave. For just a second she swore the other side of the bed dipped down, and in instinct made room for his tired frame to crash beside her. 
-
“A distraught man was seen walking up around the streets of Harlem this morning, the man was described as looking dirty. Wearing a green suit, and was seemingly distraught and confused, mumbling to himself.” The anchorwoman spoke, reading off her cue cards shocked by the news herself. Angel scrolled on her phone wrapped in one of May’s quilts as she made breakfast.
 “Witnesses say the man seemed distraught, and in a rush. Looking like he had climbed out of a hole, his suit askew and ran past anyone who offered help. Seemingly not wanting to be seen.” 
She switched the channel before she cared to hear the other stories, not thinking she could handle the grief of another depressing story right now. Angel wrapped the blanket around herself, walking to the kitchen to talk to May. Her phone pinging, the front camera at the house notifying her that motion had been detected. 
“I’ve gotta get to the hospital after I eat, are you gonna be okay getting home? I know it’s not that far of a wal- everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I actually should get a cap and head that way. I just got a weird notification I need to check out.”
“Okay yeah. Do you need me to go with you?” May asked.
“No, no. I, I don’t know what it is. Could be nothing or an error on my end.” Angel says, pulling herself out of the chair rushing towards the door. Quickly calling a cab she climbed into the back refreshing the ring app trying to get it to load. The dark screen freaking her out. She had called Harry, bouncing her leg in the back of the cab watching the houses fly by. 
“I was just about to call you.” Harry’s panic was evident from his voice. “Someone dug up Peter’s grave. Kicked the headstone over and everything.”
“You don’t think it was Fisk’s guys do you?”
“Could be..could be anybody. I love Pete but he had a lot of enemies.”
“I got a notification that there's motion at the front door, but it’s not loading now. It's a network error.” She spoke as the cab pulled into the neighborhood, already unbuckling her seatbelt waiting for the sudden stop. 
“Okay listen to me.” Harry says starting the car. “I’m thirty minutes away, there’s a gun hidden in a fake drawer in the table by your door. It’s loaded, and I know you know how to use it. Let’s just be prepared for the worst.”
“Yeah..” Angel nodded, rubbing her forehead wishing Peter was there to talk her through this. “Okay I’m heading in. I’ll let you know.” 
Angel handed the driver a hundred that she had on her and hung up the phone, tucking it into the pocket of the pajama pants she’d been wearing at May’s. The front door was left ajar and slightly off its hinges. She looked down seeing a track of dirt leading from the front walk away all the way into the house. 
Quietly she found the gun Harry was talking about, leaving the safety on till otherwise needed and slowly following the muddy footprints. The fridge was left ajar, food and drinks sitting on the counter. Whoever broke in was pretty hungry, having pulled out the pastrami and other gatherings for a sandwich. A soda poured into a glass and half gone. She checked Peter’s office, his file cabinets open and a couple files pulled out. As she went to open the files to see who it was research on, she heard the water upstairs turn on. Slowly and as quiet as possible she snuck up the steps, and through her bedroom. Her jewelry box was left open but nothing was taken out, everything in the closet was practically untouched except for a couple of Peter’s items thrown onto the floor. Taking a deep breath she pushed the door to the bathroom open, and nothing could prepare her for what stood on the other side of the door. 
“Angel..”
The voice nearly caused her to drop to her knees. She knew grief was a funny thing, because Peter Parker was standing before. Dirty and clearly sore, his voice strained from not using it for a couple days. Her knees fell out from under her, Peter using his reflexes to catch the gun and her all in one go. Smearing mud and blood lightly on her as he caught her. He placed the gun on the counter away from them as he slid down onto the floor with her. 
“Shh, shh I know. I know. It’s scary. It’s okay, Angel. Breathe okay. In and out.” 
She couldn’t even find her voice to scream, she reached out hitting him trying to get him away from her. A ghost from her nightmare.  The harder she hit though, the faster she realized he was real..this was all real. 
“You’re dead.” 
“I was..technically. Kind of yeah.” 
“Not technically, legally.”
Peter laughed shakily holding her, tears starting to pour out of his own eyes. His lips pressed against her forehead letting out a gasp of air. 
“Spiders..play dead when they sense danger. Meaning their bodies shut down completely out of their control, as a way to replenish and prepare to attack and prevent further damage.” She watched intently as he explained his mad man ramblings. 
“I guess when I got bit that’s something my nervous system developed the ability to do. I read about it all those years ago after I got bit. It just never happened until I took so much damage. So, yes. I was..I did die. However, the amount of my own blood that Harry and May pumped into me. Helped me heal in that shut down state.” Peter laughs hearing himself. He sounded fucking crazy. Angel reached her hand out cradling his face, gasping at his warmth. His heat radiating off his body again. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she lunged forward holding him in a hug sobbing happily. 
Harry’s feet pounded against the hardwood floor as he yelled for her. 
“Oh fuck.”
“Hey Harry.” Peter laughed awkwardly. “Long story.” 
Harry, in shock, stumbled out of the room immediately making phone calls. Letting out a scream of shock and awe.
“Angel..” Peter whispered. “I need to shower okay. You can stay with me though if you want.”
So she did, she washed his hair and body. Rubbing her fingers over the held wounds that once littered his chest now just scars in their place. So much for being superhuman.
“We’re never gonna have a normal life are we?”
Peter shook his head, kissing her head. 
“No, no we won’t. But we’ll have each other, and no matter what happens. No grave will hold me down.” He laughs holding them together, making her look up at him. “I’m coming back here, back to you everytime.”
 She shook her  head holding him close listening to the beat of his heart, finally feeling that piece she lost crawl back home into her chest.
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I know that was different...I hope you guys liked it. I really wanted to bring Mob!Peter back but I'm nothing if not dramatic..so :)
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kyriethesquishysquid · 7 months
Text
Betrayal Never Felt So Good (König/Fem!Reader) Chapter 1
You can find Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3 here, Chapter 4 here, Chapter 5 here, and Chapter 6 here!
Summary: The reader is a military nurse currently employed by Shadow Company. She was sent out with a small team into the middle of nowhere to gain intel on the enemy, her presence only a precaution as it should have been an easy in-and-out mission. Unfortunately for the Shadow team, KorTac had also been working on a lead in the same area. One thing led to another and the reader was forced to watch as her team was slaughtered mercilessly. Rather than kill her as well, she was taken back as a hostage and kept captive by the group's colonel, König.
Word Count: ~8.5K
Rating: Mature (For Smut)
A/N: To preface this story - I’ve never played the storyline of any COD games, nor do I know a damn thing about the military, much less special forces, so there will be inaccuracies galore, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! My take on König is somewhere between the headcanons of him being a ruthless psycho and a shy bean. Also, don’t come at me with complaints of this not being realistic, please. This is fanfic, loves. It doesn’t have to be realistic. Plus, if I was the one captured by this tree of a man and he was interested? Morals and reality be damned. I’m hopping on that train lmfao. Also, I wrote this entire thing in less than 24 hours and was too eager to post it to do a bunch of editing, so please excuse any errors!
Important Details: Occasional use of Y/N. Reader appearance is left vague but is described in little details such as being short (no exact height used), chubby, and with hair at least long enough to be pulled back. This story is essentially porn with plot, so literally over half of this is smut.
TW: Body shaming, violence, and attempted assault from random asshole #1. A few insecurities surrounding weight by the reader. Canon violence toward others by König. Super fast burn, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, Dom/Sub, multiple orgasms, squirting, creampie, suggested Stockholm syndrome (but really reader is just a touch-starved, thirsty bitch for Gentle!Giant König), pet names (in English and German), bad German translations bc I’m a lame monolingual American, no beta we die like the jackass Graves. Crappy Translations:
Ich werde dich mit deinen eigenen Eingeweiden füttern, bevor du diesen Satz beenden kannst! - I will feed you your own intestines before you can finish that sentence!
Maus- Mouse
Süßes mädchen - Sweet girl
Heilige Scheiße/Scheiße - Holy shit/shit
Mein schatz - My darling
Mein Gott - My god
Kleines - Little one
Verdammt, sieh dich an, kleine Maus - Damn, look at you, little mouse.
Oh, du kleine Füchsin! - Oh, you little vixen!
It was probably stupid. Scratch that, you knew it was stupid, but you couldn’t help but enjoy the company of the large Austrian man before you. Despite being the one to kidnap you and keep you tied up in this basement-like room for almost a full day now, the conversation had been flowing between you two like you were good friends. Maybe it was the gentle way he was treating you. Maybe it was the fact he’d kept his promises to you thus far. No matter the reason, you knew it was dangerous, this trust growing between you and him, but you were going to lean into it nonetheless.
“Hey, uh, I- I promise I’m not complaining but… why haven’t you, ya know, hurt me yet?” you asked softly. 
König let out a heavy sigh, his mask fluttering around his face temptingly before he dropped back into his chair. It was hard to see his eyes from across the room but you were certain he was staring at you nonetheless. His gaze was heavy anytime it was on you, palpable in a way that made goosebumps crawl over your skin. 
“You’ve given me no reason to,” he replied after a moment, “And, in all honesty, you weren’t our original target. In fact, it should have been anyone but you.”
You almost asked why, but he was quick to continue his explanation as if he hadn’t even stopped. 
“You’re a nurse, ja? A nurse who does not see combat often, according to the intel we’ve been able to gather about your team, and that means you have little to no information we need.”
A warmth crept up your neck as he casually talked about you as if you were nothing of import, essentially a useless captive. It made your heart sting in an odd way. 
“Ah… I see,” you hummed quietly. 
“So now, we wait until your squadmates come in for the rescue, and then we get what we need from them.” 
You managed a little nod but it stopped short when an embarrassingly loud rumble emanated from your stomach. Eyes widening, you nervously glanced his way to see if he’d caught it, only to find him getting to his feet. 
“My apologies. You’ve been here quite some time with nothing but water. Let me go grab something for you.”
Before you could argue, he was out in the hallway, instructing one of the guards to step inside and keep an eye on you until he returned. The instant the young brunette stepped into the room, something felt off. Why? You weren’t sure. Maybe it’s just because you’d grown used to the “comfort” of your kidnapper. More than likely though, it was the way he was staring at you. 
As you were stewing in your thoughts, trying to figure out your emotions, the man crossed the room and stopped at your feet with a laugh.  
“So, you’re the broad the colonel’s been hiding? Interesting.”
The man’s words were spit with pure vile and reeked of danger. You instinctively leaned away when he reached out for your face and the disobedience was quickly rewarded with a hefty smack, tearing a cry of shock from your lips. While the sting was painful, it was nothing worse than you’d experienced before. Unfortunately, you knew he wasn’t going to stop there, the leer in his eyes enough to make your stomach uneasy as he stalked in circles around you like a predator to its prey.
“A little round for my taste, but I can see it. The colonel must have a thing for soft and small. Probably because he’s a fucking mountain. Opposites attract and all that jazz,” he snickered, “Too bad the bastard is too scared to just take what he wants. But don’t worry sweetheart, I’m not a little bitch like him.”
Hearing him talk about König in such a way did weird things to your body. Anger began to rear its head. What kind of person talked about their commanding officer that way? You may not have been a full-blown soldier in the practical sense but you could never imagine speaking filth like that about your superiors. 
“Just because you lack the self-control to be a decent human like him doesn’t mean everyone does,” you bit out through a glare, “I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last human on earth.” 
He paused, eyebrows flying up in surprise, and, for one silly little moment, you’d thought you’d gotten through to him. Then reality struck hard with his fist across your face. A scream escaped your lips as the pain finally registered through the shock, your cheek aching to the heavens. 
“Now, see, you just had to go and be a smart ass. And here König talked about how compliant you were. Don’t tell me you got a hardon for the colonel, sweetheart,” he touted with a cackle, “And, for your information, it wasn’t a request. Either you can suck it up and make this easy, or I’ll take what I want either way.” 
Before he could do anything more, you tilted your head back and screamed, long and loud, for König. Of course that wasn’t allowed for very long. His second punch cut you off instantly, causing your vision to swim as you cried out again. You could hear him mutter something under his breath and you brought your eyes up only to find him drawing his fist back once more. 
“Fuck!”
You braced for impact, tears slipping down your cheeks through your clenched eyes, but the sound of a door crashing open interrupted his assault. The sound of a solid thud and a scream of pain tore your attention to the sudden group piling into the room, then more specifically to your captor-turned-savior pinning your assailant to the floor by one knee on the smaller man’s back, his arms wrenched behind him in a way that looked horrifying. He was snarling words in a mixture of German and English but you weren’t able to make out a single thing as you watched on in awe while he slammed the man’s face repeatedly into the concrete floor. 
“You are lucky I don’t kill you now!” König thundered, voice echoing through the room. 
“I- I’m sorry, I-”
“Nein! Ich werde dich mit deinen eigenen Eingeweiden füttern, bevor du diesen Satz beenden kannst!”  
Shivers crawled up your spine at the ruthless aggression in König’s voice. It was new, unexpected, and you were suddenly even more grateful not to have been on the receiving end of his anger. 
“Take him to his room and see to it that he does not leave. I will deal with him later,” König hissed, shoving the now bruised and bloody soldier toward the two at the door. 
“Yes, colonel, right away, sir.”
The moment the door closed, he deflated, shoulders slumping as he pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered something under his breath. You watched carefully as he closed the gap between the two of you. 
“I’m sorry, maus, are you hurt?” 
And instantly, it was like that war-hardened soldier had never existed, replaced once again by the gentleman you’d spent the last few hours with. You shook your head slightly and watched him kneel before you. A little smile twitched up the corners of your lips in amusement as you realized he was still taller on his knees than you were sitting in the chair.
“Nothing that I can’t handle anyway,” you replied quietly, voice trailing off as his hands cupped your face gently.
His touch was tender in ways you hadn’t expected as he shifted your head around, taking in the damage with a sigh. Thankfully, other than a sore and swollen cheek, that asshole hadn’t gotten the chance to do anything more before König had returned. 
“Thank you.” 
The giant before you froze, looking as surprised as you felt. Had you really just thanked your captor? Face warming, you watched him watch you. You could have taken it back, but not only would that have been weird, it would have been a lie. Because as far as hostage situations went, this was the best one you could imagine, and he had just saved you from one of his own when he could have turned a blind eye. Instead, you waited patiently for him to react.
“Hurting someone defenseless is cowardly,” he muttered lowly.
So the infamously ruthless König had an honor code. Interesting. That explained a lot, really. If it weren’t for the fact you’d seen him kill multiple of your allied Shadows with a brutality unparalleled, you’d think he wasn’t the revered Operator he really was. The silence grew in leaps and bounds, a strange charge in the air between you, until the moment was interrupted by another untimely growl of your stomach.
“Ah, yes, food!”
He grabbed a brown paper bag from beside the door and brought it over only to pause once he was in front of you once more. 
Confused, you watched on as his eyes darted around you in obvious thought before you finally broke the silence with a soft, “König?”
As if snapped out of a trance, he rushed over and snagged the black folding chair from across the room just to plop it loudly on the floor at your feet. He quickly took a seat and started opening the bag.
“I apologize but I can’t exactly unbind you,” he spoke softly, “Not yet, anyway.”
Your heart began to race at the implication. He was going to feed you. It was hard to decipher how you felt about it, a potent mixture of surprise, adoration, lust, and embarrassment hitting you all at once. 
“O-Oh, okay,” you mumbled.
Eyes lowering, you watched in interest as he carefully peeled an apple and cut it into bite-sized slices with a fancy-looking pocket knife. It was hilarious how tiny his massive hands made the fruit seem. All humor drained from your thoughts when he picked up a piece and slowly brought it your way. 
König’s eyes were wide beneath the sniper hood when you glanced up but you quickly dropped your gaze once more self-consciously as you parted your lips. Before you could stop it, a mortifying moan of delight fled your lips as you crunched into the deliciously sweet fruit, but you couldn’t find enough fucks to care as the hunger in your belly ramped up. When he picked up the next piece, you preemptively opened your mouth in wait. 
This continued on for quite some time in a comfortable silence until you swallowed the last piece and you almost whined at the loss. Thankfully, it seemed he wasn’t done. He snagged a block from the bag next and your mouth watered as you finally realized it was a brick of cheese. Surprising, but delicious and welcomed nonetheless. The cheese passed much quicker as it was a small chunk and you couldn’t help but watch in elation as he grabbed another thing from the bag. It appeared to be the last of the food because he crumbled up the paper sack and tossed it aside before opening up the little red box. 
“Do you like dark chocolate?” he asked suddenly. 
A grin spread across your lips as you nodded a little too eagerly. 
“Of course!”
You couldn’t tell for certain, thanks to the mask, but you were sure he smiled with the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. Why was that cute? That shouldn’t have been cute. 
“These are from Germany,” he explained warmly, “A brand called Schogetten.” 
He broke off one of the small pieces and brought it to your already parted lips. As the sweet morsel melted across your tongue, you went limp in disbelief, a little whine muffled in your closed mouth. You don’t know if it was because you hadn’t eaten in almost a day, or if it was the fact it was different than your usual chocolate back home, but the flavor was unparalleled. If all your dignity hadn’t already gone through the window, you wouldn’t have certainly lost it for that chocolate. 
Piece after piece, he fed you dutifully and silently, until you were too full for more. 
“I’m- I’m glad you enjoyed that.”
His voice was low, huskier than before, and it sent flutters through your heart. 
Feeling much more relaxed and comfortable, you had to smile back in response, carefully nudging your foot against his much larger boot. 
“Thank you for sharing it with me,” you replied.
That familiar weight of his gaze was on you once more but it didn’t take long to figure out why, one hand reaching out and steadying your face while his other thumb came to wipe your bottom lip. 
“You have some chocolate here,” he mumbled.
It was sweet of him to help when you would have had no way of knowing. The feelings of adoration dissolved into something much darker when his hand went beneath his hood and you heard the audible pop of his thumb leaving his mouth. 
OH.
It seemed he realized what he was doing at the same time as you, his posture going rigid as his eyes widened. A soft curse left him as he suddenly jerked his hand back down. 
“I apologize. I don’t know what came over me.” 
Fuck. Was this Stockholm syndrome? Did that set in this quickly? It wasn’t exactly a topic you’d researched much in your nursing classes. If it was… it certainly wasn’t a bad feeling. 
Biting your lower lip, you tried to steady your breath as the flutters in your chest grew stronger. 
“It’s okay,” you assured him.
Another bout of silence filled the space between you both, but this time you were practically vibrating in your seat from the anxious excitement thumping in your veins. As you stared into his half-lidded eyes, your thoughts went wild. 
What was going to happen now? There was a static charge in the air and it made your skin bump up. How long did you have before your team came? Were they coming? Did you even want them to come now? 
Your thoughts were brought to a screeching halt when he lunged forward, hands cradling your face carefully as his mouth smashed painfully hard against yours. It was a delicate juxtaposition and your brain took a few long seconds to register what was happening, but the instant you realized he was kissing you, you melted into it with a moan. The scratch of the hood against your lips was a unique texture but not entirely unpleasant, although you’d much rather have his lips bare. 
The chair creaked with a loud groan as you tipped forward, eager for more of the Austrian and frustrated by the rope keeping you bound. 
A huff of annoyance slipped out as you snapped beneath your breath, “Fucking rope!”
“Süßes mädchen,” König groaned low in his throat.
He pulled away just as suddenly as he’d started and you actually did whine out at that, not caring how pitiful you sounded, until you saw him take out the pocketknife. Fear bubbled acridly in your throat as you swallowed hard, eyes pinned to the blade as he flicked it out. König hadn’t hurt you yet. There was no reason to think he would now… right? 
It became painfully obvious that your intuition was right when he stepped behind you and fingered the ropes. 
“Stay still, maus, I don’t want to hurt you.”
You did as instructed and we were rewarded with the freedom to move as the rope snapped and fell away. With a long, loud, groan, you leaned back and stretched up to the ceiling, a dopey smile painted on your face as you loosened all the stiff muscles. As you relaxed back into the chair, you found König in front of you once more, almost looking nervous in his stiff posture. 
“Thank you,” you said warmly. 
When you stood, you were made acutely aware of just how short you were compared to him. You’d known he was tall but seeing him now, how far you had to crane your neck back to meet his gaze, it was so different. 
“I’m trusting you not to try anything.”
His voice was tight, whether from excitement or worry you weren’t sure, and you immediately knew how you wanted to prove your trustworthiness. Grabbing one of his massive hands in both of yours, you pulled him over to the cot in the back corner of the room. It was almost comical how easily he followed you and allowed you to push him to sit on the bed but, as you stepped between his knees and got face to face, there was no denying who was actually in charge when your eyes met. If his physical presence wasn’t enough to deter you, the power in those beautiful blues was reminder enough. 
“I think I owe you, for being so kind and for saving me,” you whispered, hands cupping his jaw to mimic the hold he’d had on you, “If that’s okay, sir.” 
When he didn’t stop you, you took the chance to kiss him again. It was even better the second time around. The groan he let out against your lips was pornographic and you found your knees weakening as his arms wrapped around your thighs, hands resting right below your ass. It didn’t take long for your desire to overwhelm your thoughts and you broke the kiss with a gasp of air, carefully lowering to your knees between his legs. What you weren’t expecting was the absolute mind fuck it was to see such a big man looming above you, nor the way seeing his thick thighs on either side of your head would make your pussy throb. 
“Well, süßes mädchen?” he teased, leaning back onto his hands. 
What a sight that was; Black shirt pulled so tight across his body that every ridge of his muscles bumped through, dark green cargo pants now sporting a growing bulge, the intensity of his gaze staring you down with something akin to amusement and delight. 
You could feel your hands shaking as you reached up. What little confidence you had previously was beginning to wane at the realization that you were going to actually be allowed to touch this adonis of a man. Taking a deep breath, you steeled your nerves and got on with it. To his credit, König didn’t push you to speed it up. In fact, he praised you softly with each touch. By the time you were pulling on his boxers to get his cock out, you were beyond soaked and arousal hummed like a bee through your body. The way it slapped against his stomach once free didn’t help your predicament one single bit. 
“Holy shit.”
You weren’t a virgin by any means but the size of him made you pause in shock. Of course. A giant man would have a giant cock. What else did you expect? It was surprisingly beautiful too; surrounded by trimmed blonde hair, thick, long, and curved, flushed tip leaking and just begging to be sucked. 
Swallowing hard, you let your fingers wrap around him and moaned when your fingers didn’t meet. If you were lucky enough to do more than suck him off, you were going to be sore… blissfully, happily, sore. 
“Ah, scheiße, ja. That’s it, maus,” he purred, cock twitching in your hand. 
Your face warmed under the praise. Leaning forward on your knees, you braced your hand against one of his thick thighs before bringing your lips to the tip of his cock, pressing a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin. The hiss he drew in was delightfully guttural. You needed to hear more of him, needed to earn that praise and pay him back for his unprovoked kindness. Slowly, you moved down his cock, planting kiss after kiss until you came to the base. He was nearly vibrating with need when you finally poked your tongue out, tracing up the veins branching along the underside. 
With the way his body tensed, you’d almost thought you’d done something wrong but then his hand was in your hair, pulling it back as he guided your mouth to his head again. 
“Stop teasing or I’ll bend you across my lap, Y/N,” he commanded gruffly. 
The way your name sounded coming from his lips was deadlier than any poison. You wanted to hear it again and again, whispered in your ears and against your skin. Fuck. 
Oh, and the mental images. How did you tell him that you wouldn’t mind him spanking you at all? Hmm, an option for later, maybe? Pushing the thoughts aside, you finally gave in to your temptations and licked up the precum around his head before taking him into your mouth. 
“Heilige Scheiße!” 
His moan was heavenly in the most sinful ways, only rivaled by the little breathless whimpers he let out as you hollowed out your cheeks and slowly sucked him down. You knew there was no way you’d be able to fit the entirety of him, your jaw already aching from the stretch, but you were going to fit as much as humanly possible. Inch by difficult inch, you took him until he was pressing dangerously hard against your throat. Unfortunately, you couldn’t get your body to relax enough to take him in- your body’s self-preservation too strong- but you quickly thought of a loophole. 
Pulling back suddenly, you gasped out, “Push me down.”
“Huh?”
Giving him a coy smile, you said, “I know I can’t push past my body’s limits, but you can fix that. I want you in my throat so, please, just… push me down?”
His entire being shuddered and he took in a sharp breath as if he were going to argue, but finally, he relented with a nod. Flashing him a wink, you wrapped your lips around him once more.
“Take a breath,” he instructed softly. 
You barely got a lungful in before he arched into your face. Tears welled up in your eyes as he thrust in deep, saliva pooling in your mouth as you gagged around him, but you were able to relax just enough for him to push through. Mortification clawed at your brain as both tears and drool spilled out the instant he began to fuck your mouth, but worse was the embarrassing noises that escaped your throat. Thankfully he didn’t seem as perturbed by them, possibly even enjoying them if his groans were any indication. 
Blinking away the tears, you looked up at him and were rewarded with a pained moan.
“Scheiße, kleines maus, you look so perfect like this,” he groaned, “That pretty little mouth feels so- ah- so good.”
When he let you up, you inhaled a quick breath before going back down. Now feeling more comfortable with the sensations, you brought your hands back into play, one pumping the base of his cock while the other wiggled beneath his boxers to stroke his balls. It wasn’t long before you could hear little frantic whimper leaving his lips. The way his breath hitched and his fingers tightened painfully in your hair told you all you needed. You quickened your pace and played into the sucking noises that he seemed to relish. 
“A-Ah, fuck, I’m going to cum. B-Bitte. Bitte, bitte, bitte. Don’t stop!”
A flush of heat rushed through your core and you couldn’t help but moan around him. Something about hearing such a powerful man reduced to a pleasured mess was both arousing and flattering. His strangled gasp was the only warning you got before he slammed you down, hips arching into your face as his cock throbbed in your throat. 
Eyes burning and throat aching, you managed to pull up just enough to breathe and used your saliva to pump his cock faster. 
“Come for me, König, please,” you begged him weakly before taking him in your mouth again, your tongue laving his head lovingly. 
Almost instantly, he broke, rope after rope of cum filling your mouth as he groaned your name. As you looked up at him, you wished you could see his face, see more than just the squint of his eyes as you sucked him dry. Unfortunately, you knew you couldn’t ask that of him… yet. Maybe if you were lucky enough to be around him more, eventually you could earn that trust. 
It wasn’t until he was shuddering and tugging on your hair that you finally pulled back, content that he’d ridden out that wave as long as he could. A satisfied smile curled up your lips as you leaned your head against his thigh and watched him intently. The heavy rise and fall of his chest was enrapturing. What would it feel like to curl up against him and use those muscles as a pillow? 
You were torn from your daydreams when he patted his other thigh. 
“Up, now,” he demanded. 
Lifting your brows in shock, you let him guide you up onto the cot and sat on his thighs as commanded. 
“Yes, sir?” you asked curiously. 
König didn’t answer. Instead, a hand came to the back of your skull and jerked you forward while he sat up, a squeal of shock escaping as you fell against him hard. Before you could question him, a mouth was over yours. A decidedly bare mouth. No hood to impede it. Realization sent a shiver through your body and you couldn’t help but reach up and hold his jaw. Prickles of a shadow beard tickled your palms and fingers with each caress. There was no denying his jaw was strong, angular almost, as you soaked in the sensations. God you wanted to see him even more now. Your exploration was cut short when you felt the breach of a tongue between your lips and a hand between your thighs simultaneously. 
“König,” you gasped out softly against his mouth.
The chuckle he let out caused your core to clench in need.
“You didn’t think that I was done with you, did you, maus?”
He didn’t give you the chance to respond, tongue filling your mouth with vigor as you melted into him. You were suddenly very thankful that you’d been captured in your pajamas when his hand slipped easily beneath the elastic waist of your silky shorts. He let out a hungry groan when his fingers came into direct contact with your skin. 
“No panties?” he asked, amusement and lust heavy in his voice, “How lucky for me.” 
His words made you blush but the embarrassment was easily forgotten when one long finger ran down your cunt, tracing your slit in teasing strokes. 
“You’re already so wet, mein schatz.”
A broken snicker fled your lips as he tenderly slid two fingers between your lips and you whimpered out, “It’s not my fault you’re- fuck!” 
“I’m what?” he teased.
He made it impossible to respond, the calloused pad of his fingers making little swirls around your nub, just on the right side of not enough. 
“You-You’re, fuck, you’re- Ugh, you’re making it hard to talk!” you squeaked out. 
König let out a long rumbling laugh that felt way too nice against your chest. 
“Try, maus, tell me what you’re thinking.”
“Fuck, you’re so sweet, and you’re big, and your eyes are beautiful, and- and-” a pitiful squeal interrupted your train of thought when he slowly slipped a single finger into your cunt. 
“Annnd?” he purred. 
“I love your voice, fuck, I could listen to you read a dictionary!” you groaned.
“Mmm, good girl.”
Your knees went weak and your cunt clenched around his finger as your eyes flew open to meet his in surprise. 
“Ah, you like that, hmm? You like to hear what a good girl you’re being for me?” he asked, not-so-subtly grinding up against you with an already hardening bulge, “You’re being absolutely perfect, mein schatz. This little cunt gripping so tight. Almost as tight as your throat was on my cock. I’m almost afraid to take you.”
“No, please, please do, please! I can take it!” 
“Oooh, I know you can, süßes mädchen, don’t worry,” he hummed, quickening his finger as he twisted his palm to rest against your clit. 
Your forehead fell against his shoulder in utter defeat as you lost all inhibitions, grinding down against his palm with each thrust he gave. It was ridiculous how close you already felt with so little stimulation but there was no denying the ways your walls were flutter around him. Pleasure swirled through your core, growing tighter and tighter, until all you could think about was how fucking good he felt and how you wanted his cock in you, now.
A needy whimper fell from your lips when he suddenly pulled his hand away and you jerked back in his lap to stare at him in disbelief. 
“Wha-” 
Your voice went silent as you watched the way his tongue cleaned up his glistening fingers with a moan. Fuck. That was it. You were good and ruined. 
“I want to make sure you are good and ready, mein schatz, so lay down for me.”
Before you could even move, he picked you up as if you were nothing and dumped you onto the cot. It took a second for your brain to catch up, too shocked by the show of strength, and by then he was lying on the comically small bed on his stomach, mouth pressing hungry kisses to the insides of your soft thighs. 
“Mein Gott, you are so beautiful,” he groaned quietly, “So soft. So sweet.”
Instinctively, you slapped your hands over your face and let out a whine. No way was this beast of a man not only going down on you, but he was going to kill you with compliments while he did it. 
Almost instantly, your hands were thrown aside and you gaped at him in confusion, only to see his full lips curved up into a smirk, mask tucked behind his ears to expose even more of his beautiful features.
“None of that now. You will not hide from me. I want to see that pretty face when I make you scream.” 
Yep. You were dead. Dead and gone to heaven. When they raided the camp, you had just been killed with all your allies and this was some fucked up kind of reward for all your good deeds. 
All existential thoughts were wiped clean from your mind when you felt him tugging your shorts down. You quickly helped him, unable to stop the giggle that escaped when he tossed them aside with a curse. And then you were bare before him. He looked like a man starved and you were given no warning before he dived in. 
“Oh, fuck!” you gasped. 
Big hands wrapped around your thighs and tugged you closer, throwing your legs over his shoulders before moving to part your lips for his tongue. Before you could get used to the sensation, he thrust two fingers in your cunt, punching all the air from your lungs. 
“Scheiße kleines,” he groaned against your skin, “You taste so good. I could live between these thighs.” 
It was all too much. The swirl of his tongue on your clit, the girth of his fingers pressing oh-so-perfectly against that sweet spot only your toys could reach, the feel of his facial hair scraping against your sensitive skin. And then he added a third finger into the mix. 
“Ho-Holy fuck! König, ohmygodfuck!” 
You nearly collapsed in around him but he was quick to catch your legs, holding them apart with a hand and elbow on either side, his forearm pressing deliciously against your lower belly. That pressure alone sent you rocketing to the edge. Instinctively you reached down to grab his hair, only to come into contact with the fabric, and you couldn’t help but whine in frustration. You really wanted to touch him more. 
As if understanding your plight, he slowed until only his fingers were pumping in and out and lifted slightly. Something was brewing in his beautiful blues when they met your gaze. 
“I can’t take off the mask, mein schatz, I’m sorry,” he sighed. 
“It-It’s okay!” you assured him quickly, “I understand!” 
Despite your words, he kept staring at you, the sounds of his fingers sliding through your arousal the only noise in the room. 
“Here, close your eyes for a moment.”
You did as told, swallowing hard in anticipation, and then his hand grabbed yours. Your heart felt like it was trying to escape your chest as he guided your fingers below the hood into his short hair. It was a bit longer than you expected, having thought he would have a regulation military fade cut, and softer. 
“Thank you,” you whispered, tears invading your closed eyes. 
“Of course, maus.”
How in the actual fuck was this stranger- a literal mass killer- you’d met a day ago more in tune with your needs and willing to compromise than literally any other man you’d been with? 
A gasp tore from your throat, harsh and raw, when he immediately returned to his previous act. Somehow it was even more intense after the brief break; frantic, almost painful. 
“König, pl-please. Don’t stop!” 
His moan was the only response you got. Rather than take your words as an invitation to go harder or faster like most did, he listened and listened well, keeping the same even pace, building you steadily higher and higher. Words and thoughts became impossible, incoherent pleading and wanton moans the only sounds you could make as you began to shake around him. Your fingers snarled in his locks in a way that was probably painful but you couldn’t find the wherewithal to stop. 
“Ja, that’s it, maus,” he demanded, “Be a good girl and come for me.” 
Within seconds, that ever-tightening knot in your gut broke. You tried to scream but the pleasure left you mute, lips parted in a silent cry of his name as wave after wave of ecstasy rolled through your being. When your breath finally came, so did the tears. 
“Fuckfuckfuckfuck, so- mm!- so good!” 
Just as it became too much, he lifted from your pussy with a heady groan. 
“Verdammt, sieh dich an, kleine Maus.” 
The moment the orgasm haze started to clear, you reached down and snagged his shirt, tugging on it to get him over you. He relented with a little chuckle when you whined his name. 
“Are you okay?” he asked softly, clean fingers gently tracing along your jawline. 
“Okay? The fuck you think? I’m absolutely dead in the best way,” you giggle, finally opening your eyes to meet his, “But… I still want you.” 
Wrapping your legs around his hips, you reached up at the same time and carefully pushed the hood back up, just enough to reveal his lips, your own curving up into a gleeful smile as you saw them. 
“Can I?” you asked hesitantly.
His answer came as the brutal crush of his lips on yours, pulling a moan from deep in your chest. As his tongue dominated yours, you took the initiative to reach between your bodies and palmed his cock, delighting in the way he whined. 
“Please, please fuck me,” you begged against his mouth.
“Couldn’t refuse you even if I wanted to,” he hummed back. 
You helped guide him as he lowered his hips to yours, unable to stop the gasp that escaped when you felt his fat head against your entrance. 
“You’re sure?” he asked suddenly. 
Brows furrowing, you dug your nails into his neck lightly and pulled him into another hungry kiss. 
“If you don’t fuck me, I might die.” 
That earned a warm laugh, a laugh that made your insides light up too bright, and a swift smack to the ass. 
“Well, we wouldn't want that, now would we?” 
When he began to push in, you tried so hard to keep your eyes open, wanting to see the expression in his, but it was too overwhelming. Despite his thorough prep, it’d been quite a dry spell for hookups due to work and it didn’t help that he was absolutely massive. It was a stretch, to say the least, but it hurt in all the best ways. 
“Oh mein gott,” König hissed into your mouth, “You are so tight, Y/N.” 
You couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m pretty sure you’re just hung, big guy,” you teased through shaky breaths, “It’s- It’s good though.” 
“So fucking good.”
The metallic tang of blood filled your mouth when he suddenly caught your lips again, this time with too much teeth and force, but it only made you moan. The pain of a split lip was nothing compared to the delight of his cock stretching your walls. It felt like forever until his hips were against yours, but once they finally were, you were already needing more. You tried to rock your hips into him only for him to stop you with a bruising grip and a dark growl. His eyes were predatory when you found them and it lit another kind of fire in your belly. 
“Dont. Do. That,” he bit out gruffly, “Don’t move. Give me a second, mein schatz, or it’s going to be over far too soon.”
Pride fluttered to life in your chest at his admission and you couldn’t help but grin, earning another cheeky smack. 
“You’re enjoying this? My pain?” he teased warmly. 
You pouted slightly but couldn’t maintain the look, too enraptured by his pretty blues. 
“I have to admit that it feels good to know you’re as affected as me,” you whispered. 
He groaned, forehead falling against yours, and muttered, “You have no idea, my love. You feel- Gott, I can’t even describe it. I’ve never felt someone who fit me so perfectly.” 
Lips quirking up into a teasing smile, you replied, “I guess you’ll have to keep me around then, hmm? Because I can promise you, you’ve ruined all other men for me at this point.” 
König groaned and his hips rutted eagerly at your words. 
“Don’t tempt me, süßes mädchen,” he moaned, “I would love nothing more than to steal you and keep you here, all mine, to have whenever I wanted.” 
As he spoke, you fell more and more in love with the idea. And why shouldn’t you? This was the most romance you’d experienced in years, all your previous conquests being quick flings with soldiers who barely qualified as friends. König was the first one to truly see you in years. 
“Oh, don’t look at me like that, maus, you’re making this hard.” 
Biting your lower lip, you tested a little wiggle against his hips and were elated when he allowed it. 
“I’m already here, König, who says you have to let me go?” you whispered, “For all they know, I’m just another casualty.”
Logically you knew you shouldn’t feed into the delusion plaguing you both right now, but fuck did you want it. Something about the idea of being at his beck and call, being allowed to please him whenever either of you wanted, was a deliciously dangerous option. 
Suddenly, he drew out his hips and slammed back in with a strangled grunt. 
“You want that, hmm? Want to be my personal little whore, maus?”
The way you clenched around him made you both whimper and you instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a heated kiss. 
“Yes, yes, please! Wanna be allowed to have you whenever,” you whined, “Want you to use me.” 
Your nails found his shoulders and dug into the firm muscles there as the sound of your bodies meeting clouded the room. But you needed more, needed to feel more of him. Logically you knew you both needed to stay as clothed as possible, considering you could be interrupted any moment, but you couldn’t resist the urge to touch him. Slipping your hands under the hem of his shirt, you slid your nails up the length of his back, dragging the material with you until it gathered at his shoulders and you were granted the absolutely stunning visual of his abdomen clenching with each thrust of his hips. 
“God you’re beautiful,” you gasped out subconsciously. 
The noise König let out was unholy, deep and keening, as his fingers tightened on your hips once more. Even through the haze of bliss, you could see the way his cheeks lit bright red. It would be cute if he weren’t currently fucking you silly.  
“That’s-That’s my line, maus,” he chuckled breathlessly. 
Eyes trailing back up to his, you couldn’t resist leaning up as you pulled him down against you once more, your lips finding his ear with a little moan. 
“Then we’re both beautiful, König, because- fuck!” 
His pace grew brutal without warning as he shifted and suddenly it felt like he was slamming right against your cervix, the sharp pinch of pain making you yelp in surprise. It was clear the praise was doing something, a fact you stored away in your memory for later. Then he hit your cervix again. You almost tried to pull back until his hand left your hip, coming between your bodies to rub gentle circles across your clit. Fuck and that made the pain more than worth it. 
“Kö-König, close, please, just-” 
He groaned lowly and grunted out, “I know, I know. I’ve got you, mein schatz. Just relax and let go for me.” 
You finally released your hold on his back only to cup his jaw and draw him into a frantic kiss, panting out half-mumbled half-screamed moans as he tongued at your mouth. It was all too much. It was the best thing you’d ever experienced. When your climax finally hit, it felt like the world turned up on end. Collapsing back on the bed, you slapped a hand over your mouth to somewhat muffle the scream that escaped, but König had none of that. One big hand collected both of yours and pinned them to the bed by your wrists. 
“No! Let me hear what I do to you,” he snarled, “I want to hear every pretty little sound!”.
Looking up through wet eyelashes, you couldn’t stop the enamored smile that crossed your lips even as you whimpered for him. He looked so fucking good over you. What you wouldn’t give to see that sight every damn day. 
“Why are you so smiley?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone as he slowed his pace. 
“Just really fucking happy,” you giggled softly, “You feel so damn good and look just as amazing.” 
König’s lips twitched into a half smile before he shifted in place, keeping your hands pinned while he carefully lifted one leg up over his shoulder. Before he even moved, you could tell your body was going to resist the change in depth. Not that you would stop him. He could demand you attempt a headstand while he fucked you and you’d do it.  
“Oh FUCK!”
Your shriek earned a broken moan from the man above you but it didn’t stop him for even a moment, hips slamming into you with purpose. Fingers curling tight, you dug your nails into his hand and bit your lip hard to keep a hold of your senses, though it was for naught. The way his fat cock buried into your tight walls over and over was more than you could handle. You wanted to beg him to stop and to keep going until you died. 
“So tight for me, süßes mädchen,” he groaned huskily as his free hand came back to your clit, “One more.” 
“Eh!?” you gasped in disbelief. 
He grunted out a laugh and said, “Come for me, one more time. I want to feel you coming again before this is over.” 
You shook your head violently and retorted, “I can’t.” 
Even as you said it, he was easily proving your words wrong with his gentle stroking contrasting with the way he pounded your swollen cunt. His fingers tightened until it felt like your wrists would break under the force and yet you couldn’t find it in you to care, all self-preservation long gone. 
“You can and you will, mein schatz. I am nothing but a patient man.”
A pathetic whimper tumbled from your parted lips as you panted for breath beneath the exhaustion of it all. Suddenly though, he slows, releasing your hands and letting your leg fall aside. 
“König, wh-”
He silences you as he falls completely over you once more, the heavy feeling of his body against yours making you sigh happily. It only takes a moment to realize his reasoning, hands pushing your hair away while plush lips begin kissing along your neck. 
“Mmmm,” you hummed softly, fingers slipping up the back of his hood to find his hair again, “That feels incredible.” 
“You taste incredible,” he replied through a mouthful of your flesh, “Though, I must admit, my intentions aren’t so pure.”
Before you could ask what he meant, he bit down hard, hard enough that you reflexively yanked on his hair and screeched. The pain dulled to a low throb when he started licking and sucking over the wound, and you clenched hard around him when he rolled his hips into yours. 
“You’re gonna kill me,” you whined breathlessly. 
“Only with pleasure, maus,” he said with a chuckle, “Would never hurt a hair on this pretty little head.” 
Your heart fluttered traitorously at that. Deciding to return the favor, you moved aside his hood enough to reveal his thick, pale, neck and started kissing along the warm flesh. 
“Ah, s-scheiße.”
Poking your tongue out, you traced a line up to his ear and moaned at the taste of salt and skin. Even his sweat was driving you crazy. What was this man doing to you?  
The slow motions quickly turned into something much more primal when you wrapped your legs around his waist and sunk your teeth into his throat. 
“Oh, du kleine Füchsin!”
Groaning, you released his neck and whispered, “Fuck, I love hearing you talk.” 
“Then I shall talk to you,” he grunted through moans, “What should I say? Should I tell you how good you feel, how perfect you grip me? That I never want to leave this tight little cunt? How divine you look when you’re drunk on my cock?”
Despite your earlier protests, you could feel another orgasm brewing fast under his words and you let him know. 
“Ja, you going to come for me, aren’t you, schatz?”
“Oh god yeah, yes, please, keep- keep-” 
You pulled his hair taut as your limbs drew him in close, silently demanding to feel every inch of his body against yours, and his name spilled from your lips like a mantra. This one came up just as fast but much calmer, creeping up silently and taking you by surprise with its voracity. Something deep inside you snapped and you could feel your arousal gush down your cunt, coating your cheeks and the cloth beneath you. 
“Fuck, mein schatz, where- mein Gott, where do you want it?” he gasped out as you clenched around him. 
You didn’t even give it a second thought, locking your legs and pulling him into a ravenous kiss. 
“In me, please, I’m- I’m on birth control. I need to feel it in me,” you whined weakly into his mouth. 
His curses were muffled by your lips but their intensity wasn’t lost on you, the mumbled praises only adding to the flush on your skin. You bit his lower lip gently and suckled all while your nails scraped against his scalp and shoulders, doing your best to pull him under with you. 
“Oh, that’s my girl. My good girl,” he snarled, “Mine. All mine!” 
Stars burst behind your eyes as he buried his cock as far as possible in your walls, the throbbing sending little pulses of ecstasy through your veins as you tried hard to focus on working him through it. You only hoped you could return even a fraction of the bliss he put you through. 
A long, loud groan reverberated through the now silent walls as he went limp- though stubbornly keeping all his weight from pressing on you- and you had to smile to yourself, fingers now playing through his soft strands gently, in a silent apology for nearly ripping them out. 
“I’m going to move, hold onto me,” he instructed you quietly. 
You did as asked but the way he flipped your bodies over was still a shock. You instinctively tried to lift off of him only to be jerked back down, massive arms locking around you and holding you to his chest. 
“You are not going to hurt me, Y/N,” he murmured, “Rest. Relax.”
“O-Okay,” you whispered.
Face red, you fought all those negative inner thoughts away and gave in, earning a content little sigh from the big man. 
“You know, I never thought I’d have the best sex of my life while being a captive,” you joked easily, turning your head to rest your chin on your forearm, allowing you to observe him closely, “Where have you been all my life?” 
Your head bobbled like a boat on the ocean with each hearty laugh that left him and your heart clenched in delight at the pure joy in his eyes. 
“Waiting for you apparently, maus, took you long enough to get here.”
There was something strange in the way he looked at you, the tenderness in his touch as he held your face and stroked your lips, but your cockdrunk, touch-hungry, brain decided it couldn’t care less. All that mattered was how it made you feel, and God did it ever make you feel perfect.
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cookiebelle · 9 months
Text
Damian Priest NSFW Alphabet
Pretty self explanatory.
NSFW under the cut, so please, MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY. I am not responsible for the content you choose to consume on the internet.
Read the accompanying one shot here!
Warnings: smut, obviously. Afab reader. Oral m&f receiving. Kink. Pet names. Mention of knife play. Not sure what else. Let me know if I should put up any other warnings.
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Damian strikes me as a protector. He is always quick to wrap a possessive arm around his teammate in the ring, or care for them after a particularly brutal match. For that reason, I think he’s pretty decent at aftercare, once he’s gotten over that beautiful afterglow. He gets up and cleans you off, then runs and brings some snacks and water while you get up to pee (because you should ALWAYS pee after sex!!!), both of you crawling back into bed and him wrapping his arms around you until you fall asleep.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He’s really into his arms, I think. They’re so strong and yet capable of being soft when he holds you close to him. He loves to show them off and flex them, and he loves the tattoos that cover them.
As far as you goes, he’s always had a thing for eyes, so he’d probably say that if you asked him. He’s an ass man, though. So in actual reality, it’s that. He loves to squeeze it, pinch it, smack it. You’re lucky he keeps his hands off it, period.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
The man looooooves it when you swallow. But he loves coming on your face even more. When he pulls out, coming on your ass is a must. But more than anything, he loves that primal urge to cum inside you and claim you for himself, and who would you be to deny him? Bonus points: he lives for pictures of you with his cum on your face. Has a whole folder of them on his phone.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Prior to you guys getting together, in the years you two were “just friends” with palpable sexual tension, he would jerk off to your Instagram photos. Nothing particularly racy, either. Just pictures of you that did enough to put your image in his head. He will absolutely take this secret to his grave.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Pretty experienced. Remember his NXT days? Exactly. He really has slowed down since then, though. That being said, during your friendship, you’ve seen him with plenty of girls. It’s safe to say he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he knows enough to still take the time to get to know exactly what your body needs.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
This is pretty tough. He likes missionary, he loves taking you from behind, and he loves when you ride him. His favorite, though… would have to be a mating press or something of the like. Something that leaves you fully open and accessible to him so he can get *deep* inside you, and that also leaves you pinned and folded up in a way that he has complete control over you.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Get you a man who can do both. Sex is fun for him, and even more fun with the right partner that he can just be himself with. He loves to laugh, no matter the activity. His more serious side is definitely present, though, and it doesn’t take much to bring it out. He can go from laughing and playing with you to “that’s right. Take it, slut” in .2 seconds flat. He loves the look in your eyes you get when he brings out The Serious Voice, especially in public.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Very well groomed. He’s a man who takes good care of himself, his hair is no different. It’s not waxed/shaved, but it’s definitely trimmed well.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s surprisingly gentle and sweet when the moment calls for it. He absolutely worships your body in a way you’ve never experienced before, like every inch of you is gold to him. Even when he’s rough and Dominant and needs you like air, there’s a level of intimacy in the urgency. Oh, and he’s a fucking great kisser. So even in the filthiest moments, there’s unmatched passion between the two of you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Oh, absolutely. Before a match. When he’s away on tour without you, or you without him. At this point he has some good nudes of you so he doesn’t have to resort to your Instagram pictures. One of his favorite things is mutual masturbation. He’s an exhibitionist at heart, and he loves putting on a show for you. He loves seeing you get so turned on by him stroking himself, if he’s not careful he’ll cum way too fast.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
So many but here’s a few:
Bondage: he likes tying you up. He learned a few basic shibari techniques and absolutely has had you walking around with a rope harness under your clothes a few times.
Breeding: does he want kids eventually? Probably. Right now, at the height of his career? Not exactly. However, there’s something so distinctly primal about growling in your ear that he’s going to fill you up until it takes and make you carry his baby so you can be all his. The idea is just as terrifying to you, but that doesn’t stop you from desperately begging for it.
Dumbification: in the sense that he likes to get you so cock drunk to the point where you’re unable to string a coherent sentence along and he can coo condescendingly at you “oh gatita, what’s wrong? Is it too much? Good.”
Impact play: he has big, strong hands and a penchant for making you whine and beg with every slap across your ass. For more? For him to stop? The world may never know.
Knife play: he collects close range weapons. Safe to say he has a collection of knives along with that. He has one specifically for playing with you (one of his favorites, something as pretty as you). He drags it lightly along your skin while you’re tied up, or even gently scratches his initials into you when you two are really deep in the moment. He rarely draws blood, honestly, but the danger of having a blade to close to you is just intoxicating.
There’s so many more, I could write a whole fic just about his kinks.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
I think he’s a semi-public sex type of man. Like out in the alleyway behind the bar, or in a far corner of the bowels of the arena you’re performing at that night. He’s strong enough to pick you up and pin you against any wall, and boy does he take advantage of that.
As far as in your respective living spaces, he’s definitely a traditional bedroom guy but he’s also a “bend you over the counter while you’re cooking dinner” guy and a “eat you out on the couch while you’re watching a boring movie” guy.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
YOU. You smiling and talking with your friends as he observes you from across the room. You doing your skincare at the end of the night. You wrestling. You doing the most mundane things like grocery shopping or cooking. He waited years to be with you and now that he finally is, everything about you turns him on. When you catch him staring, you love to tease him. Giving him that innocent look he loves so much, or little touches along his arm as you walk by. Expect a text from him, promising you’ll pay when you two get home.
When you’re alone, the teasing is so so so much worse. Bending over in front of him to show off your ass, or getting down on your knees at his feet, only to tie his shoe. Eventually the teasing becomes a game between you two and you wait to see which one of you breaks first. It’s almost always you, much to his delight.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
It goes without saying but human waste is just not his bag. He doesn’t have a lot of turn offs, it’s more of a situational thing than anything. There are times that he can’t stand to make you hurt (impact play, cnc, etc.), there are times he loves it. He won’t scar you, though, or draw a lot of blood (some beads of blood from scratching you are fine). No lasting marks that aren’t done by a professional.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Damian Priest is a pussy eating champion. He’s all about quality, not quantity. Giving you head for an hour doesn’t mean anything if you’re still coherent by the end of it. He can make you cum an embarrassing amount of times, very quickly, with his mouth on your clit and his fingers buried inside your cunt. By the time he’s ready to fuck you, you’re not sure if you can even handle any more (you can, and you do).
He l o v e s you giving him head. It’s one of his all time favorite activities. You look up at him with those big eyes while you take him down your throat and he is GONE. It’s pretty rare that he’s at a loss for words, but your mouth wrapped around his cock officially turns his brain into standby mode. He loves holding you by the hair and fucking your mouth. He loves letting you do all the work. He loves it all.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He’s a slow but powerful fuck, most of the time. He makes sure you feel every inch of him, and every thrust knocks the wind out of you. He can be rough and fast, too, especially when he finds that spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back into your head.
He’s capable of being slow and sensual, too. It’s not often, but there are definitely moments that are charged with passion and feel as though you two are of the same body and spirit.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Loves a quickie, ESPECIALLY before a big match, just to quell his nerves. At least that’s what he says. You think he’ll just take any chance to put his hands on you (you’re right). He loves one in the morning before you guys get up for the day, too. Just something to get him going. “It’s better than coffee,” he’s said many times.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He’ll try anything once, and he’s learned he likes a lot of things he would have never guessed.
He takes risks in the form of fucking you where anyone could happen upon you, or coming inside you and stealing your panties when you’re wearing a skirt/dress. At the HOF ceremony, you absolutely wore his cum dripping down your thighs in your pretty gown, and he smirked every time you adjusted the way you were sitting in order not to stain it.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
The man’s an athlete, and a good one to boot. He can go at least three rounds on an average night, more on a great night. He lasts pretty long, too, when he has the time. A night in with him is an hours long adventure that leaves you completely exhausted by the end, for sure.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I don’t know that he had toys by way of vibrators or anything like that before you and him started seeing each other. Not that he’s against them, he just didn’t have them. With you, he’s down to try anything. His favorite is the hitachi wand. He loooooooves torturing you with it. You got him a fleshlight/pocket pussy because 1) you wanted him to have a toy to play with when you two were apart, since you have a vibrator, 2) you wanted to watch him use it during your little mutual masturbation sessions, and 3) you wanted to use it on him just to torture him as much as he tortures you. It was a rousing success.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
So much??? Like so much. In public it’s constant. Little touches, glances in your direction, pulling you to sit on his lap. Sometimes he steals you away to a random hallway just to make out with you and grab at your ass, for just a moment, then breaks the kiss and walks away as if nothing happened. He leaves you completely disheveled and turned on, and just smirks at you from across the room when you re-emerge after fixing your clothes and hair.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s known for his deep, booming voice and aggressive roars in the ring. In the bedroom, it’s no different. He’s talking dirty, in English and Spanish, to the point where he truly doesn’t shut up, just babbling nonsense by the end of it. He’s groaning about what a good slut you are for him while you take him deep inside you. When he cums, he’s extremely vocal, but able to keep the volume controlled when people are around. If he didn’t, the entire Raw roster would hear him (and they definitely have at least once). He’s growling praises while you take every drop of him, groaning when your cunt clenches around him.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He’s a secret switch, but only in the sense that he’ll give you the illusion of control over him, just to snatch it back from you when you least expect it. He does, however, love seeing you feel powerful. It’s incredibly sexy to him. But he loves being in control more, and you make the cutest face when he’s suddenly on top of you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
👀 I mean, he’s a giant. I can’t imagine he’s disappointing in that department by any means. The first time you fucked, you were certain he was ruining you. And, truth be told, he was. You’re not sure you’d be satisfied with anything else at this point.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
HIGH. Like twice a day and three times on weekends kind of high. You wake up to him begging for you (yes, begging. In Spanish.), and he’s on you the moment you get into bed for the night.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I think Damian is a man who can survive on little sleep, so he usually is awake even after you fall asleep. He sits up and alternates between watching tv and watching you sleep.
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Lost in a Cornfield..? Pt. 3
Scarecrow!Phillip Graves x Lost!Reader
summary: Terror fills you as you wonder what's next.. what is he going to do?
warnings: descriptions of like skin stuff (not too bad imo?? still warning), he lowkey a freak as in a sadist, screaming crying and general fear concepts, he dark but no super overall descriptions of it, nothin really happens sorry lol
w/c; 1k
Part 1, Part 2
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Author's note: Midterms were ass, anyway here's part 3 hope it isn't a total flop. it's short but I hope to make part 4 soon the final part and a bit longer than this (hopefully).
The foul stench hung in the room. 
It was a salty, iron-like pungent odor. 
Much like sweat and blood. 
But there was no blood here, it was all long dried.
You inhale a large breath of the warm air. 
The oxygen hits your brain and--What the actual fuck--your head is reeling with the sudden reality. 
You feel the tears start to drop and they fall steadily as the feeling of dread fills your senses.
The room. The skin. Him. The Scarecrow
It’s almost like he can hear your thoughts, but it’s more likely he’s seen the same reaction you're countless times. 
He’s seen it on the poor souls that were unlucky enough to see the very room you were seeing now. 
However, they were soon added to the collection in the room.
“Don’t ya like it, darlin’?” he asks mockingly.
He hasn’t moved from his spot at the door. Instead he’s relishing in the moment. 
Drinking up your reaction; every breath, every hitch in your throat, every cry, every tear that seeps from you.
But you stand rooted to your spot in the middle of the room. Too scared to move. Too scared to speak.
Finally words don’t fail you, and something coherent is able to form out of your quivering lips, “What’s going on…” a sob interrupts you, and stupidly you continue in order to ask, “what is this..”
The only response he gives you is an amused drag of his white teeth on his bottom lip before he gives you that same charming and alluring grin.
“Scarecrow.. Please…” you sobbed out.
Hot tears streamed down your face. 
Almost seeming never ending; a beautiful river that showcases your fear and desperation. 
He loved every second of it. 
His grin never falters, you aren’t even sure if he can feel any human feeling but if he could, you’re sure he’d feel something akin to a wild childish glee. His glowing eyes burning in the low light being proof of how much he was enjoying this.
"‘What's going on’, hmm?" He echos your question, his tone was almost playful. 
“Oh, c’mon, sugar. Ya don’t really need me to spell it out for ya’, right?” He chuckles out dripping with condescension. 
His words make a loud cry escape from you.
A sob wracks through you as you slowly start to back up, the implication of his response makes your worst fears come true. 
You bump into something and stumble backwards, your hand instinctively reaching out to keep you from falling, all without looking away from the scarecrow. 
But upon touching the object, you rip your eyes away from him and to where your grip is. 
It’s a couch made of human skin. 
You can see the details of someone, what was them, probably what was their hand stitched with another unidentifiable pieces of skin that probably wasn’t theirs due to the different colors the patches were. Pieces of hair poked out from the inside. It was used for cushioning.
Shock makes your reaction delayed. But it doesn’t take a second longer for your scream to erupt. 
Tearing your hand and eyes from the couch, and back to the Scarecrow, you drop to the floor and crawl until your head and back harshly hit the wall.
You didn’t even want to think about how the wallpaper was also the remnants of people sewn together.
The only thing that spills from your lips are cries and begs, “No, no, no, no, no.. please.. don’t do this..”
He still stands at the threshold drinking up your delightful screams, sobs, and begs. With a deep breath he finally starts to walk toward you.
Every thump of his worn boots on the floor makes your heart jump and await the worse.
The fear makes you want to look away from his yellow eyes, but you can’t, and in return you see how his eyes never leave you. 
He slowly stalks closer, his beautiful smile gleaming horrifically. The corners of his smile making boyish dimples show and his eyes crinkle prettily. 
"What's the matter, doll?" His tone is the same sweet and southern honeyed voice he had first spoken to you with. 
The same voice that made you believe he was safe, the same voice that made you believe he was going to help you, the same one that made you trust him.
Finally he stands before you.
He kneels down to your level, his head tilting as he watches your horrified fearful face. 
You sit there paralyzed and you believe he's going to hurt you. 
When his hand reaches out to you, you shut your eyes and flinch, waiting for the worse. 
But instead, he wipes a tear away from your cheek. 
His touch is gentle. 
Still paralyzed with fear, your eyes open wide and though you feel fearful, you look at him.
“You look beautiful with tears runnin’ down your face.” He whispers just loud enough.
“Such a pretty lil’ thin’.'' His grin melts into a smile, it looks kind and sincere but the glint in his eyes warned you that there was still danger.
“Please don’t kill me..” you croaked out, “I thought you were going to help me.. please I didn’t.. i..” you sobbed harder.
“I’m scared..” you mustered between sobs as his hand wiped the rest of your tears.
“You should be,” he finally says and his warm breath fans on your face, “but I’m not gonna kill ya..”
“Pretty lil’ thin’ like you dead would be such a waste to put in ‘ere, plus ya aren’t a pest like the rest of ‘em.” His hand moves from your cheek to your head, running it through your hair, his fingers tangling between the strands.
“No… no, ya aren’t like them pests..” he mutters as he looks you over. 
You don’t know what to say. You don’t know what to do other than watch him with your terrified wide eyes.
His breathing seemed almost strained and he looked like he was restraining himself.
“No, you’re mine, sweetheart.” he shakily breathed out.
Author note: also i have the ending done.. I just have to tie it in with this. (fun fact; I originally didn't plan to keep the darktwist, I had him as actually really sweet and very wizard of oz esque. but this dark scarecrow graves grew on me bec yes he spooky :')
taglist; @itsyellow (added them cus they asked to b tagged also ily)
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captain-mj · 1 year
Note
That memory loss fic has done me in. I’m on my knees, captain. A part 2 would make my week <3
I've seen the requests and I got you guys!! Was planning on this being the last part, but uh... it got rather long lol.
Price had escaped relatively unscathed despite how hard that punch was. Soap wasn’t too surprised, Price was very tough. It didn’t stop Graves from fussing over him. 
“Uh, Captain?” He knocked and interrupted them. “Ghost is still...”
Price sighed, sitting back in his seat. “Any luck figuring out what’s going on?”
“Yes, actually. He thinks he’s been with a Roba for four months. Thought I heard you two mention the name before.” 
Price visibly paled a little. “Ah. That’s not good. That’s not good at all.”
“Who is he?”
“Cartel leader a few years back. He had several soldiers taken. Experimentation, brainwashing, conditioning. It was nasty. Simon ended up the only person surviving it.” 
Graves stood up. “I don’t think Ghost would want me around for this. I’ll see you two later.” He kissed Price’s cheek, punched Soap’s shoulder and left. 
Soap nodded at him before continuing. “He thinks he’s four months in. He’s paranoid, not as much as I was expecting though. Let me give him a drink and only bit me once.”
Price nodded. “He’s not going to wear a mask like this. He didn’t back then. It would explain why he reacted that way in the van.”
Soap nodded. “Couldn’t see our faces.” 
“I meant the skulls. Roba wore skull face paint. Had all his men wear it too. Not to mention a couple of other nasty memories. It’s why Ghost wears it. Symbol of fear for him.” Price sighed. “Did you try explaining?”
Soap was a little caught up in the information he was just given. He didn’t understand why Ghost would wear something that would remind him of his past like that. 
“I told him he lost his memories and he said that’s a new form of brainwashing. Basically brushed me off. Gets real upset when you call him Ghost to. He also... made a couple concerning comments.... He mentioned a Lady. I said I’d reward him if he’d work with me and he said he didn’t want the Lady. Didn’t really specify. You know anything about that?”
“No. I’ll tell the nurses though. We’ll keep women from going in there alone, just in case. Doubt he’ll attack them, but we don’t want him anymore scared than necessary.” Price shook his head. “I hope we get this figured out soon. If not, he might have to go on leave and possibly discharged.”
Soap knew what that meant. If it goes on, Simon will disappear. He wasn’t technically alive. They’d be dumping him on the street. 
“Sir, I’m aware that Ghost doesn’t have any living family.”
“Don’t tell him.” Price said immediately. “I’ll make sure everyone knows. We need to make sure he does not find out.” 
“Why not? If he doesn’t wake up and he knows we lied...”
“Soap, that is a very valid worry. But Ghost right now is a very big flight risk. I’m... Simon will try to commit. He did it the first time he found out and he tried twice our first month of working together. He’s fragile. He can be pissed at us later. Right now, we have enough problems without needing him on suicide watch.” Price whispered it to him and Soap’s stomach turned.
“What do you mean tried to commit?? You’re telling me a man with three suicide attempts is allowed in the fucking army?” Soap hissed at Price. Besides the rules and regulations around those things, if Ghost really did try and Price just fucking let him go back. Let him on the field with big guns and plenty of opportunities to fucking die. Soap gritted his teeth to Keep himself quiet.
“Look, he’s legally dead. I know it’s hard to understand, but when he wasn’t let back in, he went to Mexico himself and destroyed an entire cartel single handedly. You want him walking the streets? Near civilians? Yes, in the beginning, he struggled. Was convinced he was dead. That he had never crawled out of the graves. Used to say and do shit that concerned me. He’s better.”
“Better? He wears a mask constantly and avoids conversation like the plague.”
“You didn’t see it.” Price suddenly sounded very far away. “I’m worried you’re about to, but you didn’t see it. You think Ghost is fucked up now? He walked around like a goddamn corpse. He found his family murdered only a few months after being tortured and buried alive. I feel like all things considered, he’s better than most.” 
Soap was still angry. So goddamn angry. He just didn’t think it was directed at Price. “When was the last time he... attempted?”
“Over a year ago. He’s been clean since. I check him occasionally.” Price sighed. “I... need you to keep an eye on him. He won’t be as slippery as he is now, not as experienced, but he’s smart as hell.” He shook his head lightly.
“Will do, sir.”
“Soap, I know you two are close. I trust you, okay? Be careful with him.”
“Yes, sir.”
Price shook his head and looked away. Soap could see the exhaustion sound like the plague.
“How long did they have him?”
“Seven months.” Price sighed. 
Soap nodded and then left Price’s office. He made his way straight to Ghost who was asleep now. One of the nurses smiled awkwardly.
“Gave him some drugs in his iv. Sedative and a painkiller.”
“Thought you weren’t supposed to sleep with a head wound?”
“Only when you first get them. He’ll be fine.” The nurse reassured. “You can sit with him as long as you want.” She took her leave and he settled next to Ghost again.
Soap hesitated before leaving for just a moment to grab his sketching tools. With his sketchbook and pencils, he started to sketch him. He so rarely got him maskless like this. He drew him with a loving amount of detail, including each scar and fleck on his skin. It passed the time as he waited for him to wake up.
After a moment, he reached over carefully and felt under his shirt, feeling the raised ridges of his scarring. When he had seen it, Ghost had explained it had occurred while he was captivity one time. They had made him. He had looked so ashamed that Soap hadn’t pressed.
Ghost yawned and looked up at him sleepily. “You’re here again. You were gone a while.”
Soap frowned. “Wasn’t gone too long.”
Ghost frowned at him, not saying anything. He noticed the book and tilted his head.
“Just taking notes.” Soap answered the question before he asked. He smiled gently. “Sleep well?”
“This bed is better than the concrete floor.” Ghost answered smoothly, smiling a little. It felt like an odd attempt at being suave. Soap blinked and nodded.
“Are sure? These beds might as well be made of rocks.” Soap laughed a little, trying to study the smile on the his face. He looked younger. Small.
Ghost looked away. “Didn’t say it was that much better.” He was clearly smiling again but he didn’t let Soap see it. Instead, he stretched as much as he could while cuffed and winced. “Morphine? That’s new.”
“How did you know it was morphine?”
“I’ve had to use it once or twice. Doesn’t have much of an effect on me but it takes the edge off.” Simon relaxed back into the pillows. “I’m starting to think you’re a dream. You were gone a while.”
“How long was I gone?”
“I don’t know. Time is funny.” Simon waved him off.
“What is usually used?”
“Opioids. Benzos. Hallucinogens. You guys keep me hiiiiiiiigh as a kite.” Simon’s words started to sound funny and Soap wondered if they maybe gave him a touch too much morphine.
“Well, like I said, i’m here to keep you safe.”
“Liar. They were just torturing me.” 
“I don’t think fixing your iv is torturing you. Or poking at your bandages.” Soap smiled indulgently.
“One of them cut me open and cut out parts of my liver.” Ghost looked at him and Soap felt his breath catch at the aching sincerity there. “He fed a piece to me. I’d really prefer if you didn’t say you’ll keep me safe. You’ll just waste your breath. I know when you leave, it’ll start again.” 
Soap stared at him. It must’ve been while he was asleep that he dreamed this. He looked at Ghost’s chest, what little he could see. Ghost had a giant y-shaped scar across his entire torso. 
Soap leaned over and touched his hand. “Are you okay?”
Simon stared at him before slowly relaxing. “I’m fine. It’s weird. I feel like I know you.”
“You do. You do know me.”
“No, I don’t.” Simon pleaded. “I don’t know you.” 
“Yes, you do, Ghost.”
“I’m not dead.” Simon said coldly. “I’m not dead. You can’t convince me I’m dead.”
“You’re right. You’re not dead. You’re right here with me.” Soap reassured, reaching up and gently tracing his jaw. Simon looked distressed.
“Stop it. Stop it.”
“What do you want me to stop doing?”
“You’re in my head. You’re messing with me.”
“No, I’m not. I promise you’re safe. I’m not going to leave again.” Soap comforted him until Simon weakly shook his head and dropped his head onto the pillow. 
“Please...” Simon mumbled, staring up at him. “Please, I don’t want them to go back to the rainbow room. I don’t want the Lady.”
“No one is going to, Simon. I promise. Why don’t you go back to sleep? Aren’t you tired?”
Simon hummed, clearly fighting sleep. He did so for a while before giving in. 
Soap took a deep breath and settled back down. His hands were shaking. After a moment of consideration, he messaged Price to update him, telling him that Simon woke up for a while before going back to sleep. 
Before long, Soap ended up falling asleep in his chair, focusing on the steady beat of Ghost’s heart monitor.
Screaming. It shocked him awake and he jerked up, watching Simon writhe and scream as loud as he could.
“Make it stop. Please make it stop.” Simon mumbled between ear shattering wails. 
Price and Gaz were suddenly there, both just as panicked as Soap was. They tried to hold him down and watched as he thrashed, yanking so hard on his restraints that for a moment Soap wondered if his wrist would snap. 
Then, his wrist snapped. 
Simon choked out, sounding so angry. “You promised. You promised you wouldn’t leave. There’s so much blood.”
Price grabbed Simon’s shoulders, pinning him down. “There is no blood. You’re safe.”
“it hurts it hurts so much. I don’t want it. I don’t want them.”
“I know, Simon. i know it hurts.” Price reassured. “You hurt yourself.”
“You bastards hurt me.” Simon hissed at him, but he was shaking so hard now. They were all trying to hold him down as much as they could. “Please. Please.” He begged, pleaded with Price to make it stop.
Price just stared at him, holding his shoulders down. He looked so helpless that Soap felt sick. 
“I know, son. I’m so sorry.”
“He promised. He promised he wouldn’t leave.”
“I didn’t leave.” Soap said softly, though he was looking at Price. “I think he’s dreaming through his memories. Said something about me being gone a long time earlier.”
“Shit. Can’t really protect him from that.” Gaz said softly as Simon finally stopped struggling, staring at the roof.
“Who’s the Lady?”
“Pilar. Her name was Pilar. She can do things with her hips that men would kill for.” Simon mumbled and it sounded like he was quoting someone. He eventually closed his eyes. “I don’t want her.” 
Soap felt like he was going to be sick. He traced the Glasgow smile on Simon’s face, despite Price’s alarmed look. “I’m sorry.”
“You left.” 
“I didn’t mean to.” Soap decided. “How long was I gone?” 
“It’s been... I don’t know. I think its been a month since we first met. It’s so hard. Time runs together.”
Soap bit his lip, feeling a hole digging in his chest. 
“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure when you see me, it’s nice.” 
“Fuck you.” Simon eventually coughed out and then just fell back against the bed. “Fucking hell.” He tried to curl away from their hands but it didn’t work. Ghost continued to shake for a while and they retracted their hands. 
Gaz sighed shakily. “Is he... okay?”
“Go back to bed, Kyle.” Price smiled. “We’ll watch him.”
Gaz nodded and quietly stepped back. He left them alone. 
Price shook his head. “Simon. Roba is dead.”
“No, he’s not. I see him. He’s there when I close my eyes.”
“Simon...” Price said softly. “This all happened a very long time ago.”
“Except it didn’t.” Soap pointed out. “To him, it feels like its right now. He’s currently going through it and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.” 
Small tag list of people who asked for pt 2 @sad-innit @confuseddipshit @lildoodlenoodle @imfeelingdizzy @robo-hips @cactusisconfused
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cherrifire · 1 year
Text
Archived in the Southlands: Martyn's Mix
Case #0211905-C
Original recording from Martyn Littlewood's personal supplemental tape.
[Martyn] Ello, ello! I'm Martyn Littlewood, also known as the Archivist. I reckon I've had that title for about 3 years now? And this is my new personal supplemental tape.
Word count: 2244
Be sure to read Case #0211905-A and Case #0211905-B before this one.
[AU Masterpost]
[Click]
[Martyn] Ello, ello! I'm Martyn Littlewood, also known as the Archivist. I reckon I've had that title for about 3 years now? And this is my new personal supplemental tape.
But to start, this tape is NOT meant for research or theories. I get enough conspiracy theory rubbish at the Institute. Something destroyed the place I was living at with BigB and Grian. And if I have to think about that case one more time, I'll crawl into a grave and let the Buried claim me.
I genuinely just needed a personal tape of my own to ramble on to. Lots goes on in this massive brain of mine. I just need something to talk to and get those thoughts out. This could technically be used as a memory log? Something for me to just look back on later down the line. I actually used to keep a log like that before the Archives and I kind of miss it.
I'm going to leave this tape in my flat so I don't get it confused with the hundreds of other tape recorders floating around the Archives. Maybe I'll be able to catch some fun stuff of my new flatmate too.
Speaking of Ren, I'm going to try and convince him to grow more than just roses. He seems to know a lot about caring for flowers, so I wonder if I could throw him off his game with something completely different. Oh, maybe something we can eat would be cool! I'll mention it next time I see him.
Though, I'm not sure when that'll be. I've noticed he tends to go out a lot, but that doesn't surprise me. He probably gets invited to all sorts of parties and events. Probably for the best.
(a pause)
Oh, good grief! For the record, I am NOT turning this into a gross emotional audio diary either!
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] Someone knocked on the door today looking for Ren. I'd never seen him before but he said his name was Doc. The name reminded me of someone I used to know, but again, I'd never seen him before.
It's not unusual, people come by looking for Ren all the time. It's actually really sweet how many folks just stop by to check on him.
So sweet, it makes me sick. He's usually never here, but I always like to take messages and relay them back to him when I see him. It's hard to forget things nowadays, so it's not an issue. Though, I guess it doesn't really matter, since I like to change the message anyway, just because I can.
When Ren gets home, I'm going to tell him that Doc wants to make a diss track with him about Grian.
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] I wouldn't do it.
(Jimmy's voice is coming through a phone speaker)
[Jimmy] Martyn, I promise you, I'm quitting if you do it.
[Martyn] (laughing) Right, but I wouldn't do it.
(Movement is heard as Martyn starts to look for something.)
[Jimmy] (frustrated) No- but you're saying it like you are going to do it!
[Martyn] But I wouldn't though!
(something falls, making a 'thud' sound as it hits the floor)
[Jimmy] I can hear you rummaging through your things!
[Martyn] (wheezing) But I-
[Jimmy] If I walk into the archives tomorrow and you scare me with a stupid party popper again I promise you I will leave.
[Martyn] (wheezing) I just wouldn't though.
(another object falls)
[Jimmy] Martyn.
[Martyn] I wouldn't.
(something else falls. Martyn is probably doing it on purpose)
[Jimmy] STOP!
(Martyn laughs)
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] I think my favourite thing about Tim is that I could tell him anything and he'll think I'm messing with him. I told him today that I was looking into a case about a cult dedicated to darkness. His immediate response was:
(mocking) "That's not funny, Martyn, stop it!"
(Martyn laughs)
(a pause)
I’ve known him since we were kids, but Jimmy doesn’t know me enough to tell when I’m joking, I guess.
(static)
Ah, wait-
(a pause then a light knock on the door)
Come in!
(door opens)
[Ren] Hey dude, is there a reason your rent paperwork has a completely random name on it?
[Martyn] Oh, Martyn Littlewood isn't my legal name. It just sounds cooler.
[Ren] That checks out. I looked at the name on this thing and was like "who is this loser?" 
[Martyn] (laughing) I'm a different person now. My loser days are behind me.
[Ren] Well, thanks for letting me know, Phillip Watson.
[Martyn] Don't you dare!
(Ren laughs as he closes the door.)
[Martyn] If he starts calling me Phil, I swear to God-
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] That play Ren's been rehearsing, The Rise of the Red King–it's starting to grow on me. I remember helping him practice a little the day I moved in, but I'm forcing him to let me help more since I caught him rehearsing it on his own again.
He was in his room just repeating the lines quietly on his own. I imagine he was only holding back so as to not disturb me, but the unfortunate curse for the beautiful Archivist is I hear everything.
Which means I heard the awkward silence between each line he read out. So I took it upon myself to start responding, to fill that gap.
He said something like, "and as you know, every king must have a hand."
And I, charming as ever, poked my head in and said, "two is preferable, so you can hold things."
Then he continued, "I can think of no greater person than you." 
And the accent he chose for this character was like a mix between Scottish and Irish with like a bit of pirate. It was so bizarre. I'm doing the best I can to imitate it but I just can't do it like Ren. And I-
(door opens)
[Ren] Good afternoon, Martyn.
[Martyn] Good day, my liege.
[Ren] Martyn, will you do the honour of being the Hand of the King on this fine day?
[Martyn] Oh my word. Do I get a little pin badge?
[Ren] Definitely, dude.
When a kingdom is formed, loyalty must be proven. Later there will be a test for you. And if ye pass, it'll be ye and me to the end!
(Ren clears his throat and returns to speaking normally)
It's shopping, your test is grocery shopping. I'm heading out, did you want to come?
[Martyn] Only if you do that voice in public.
[Ren] You're insane, dude.
The King likes it. And you shall follow in his footsteps! Today, both our mettles will be tested.
[Martyn] Oh geez. I don't think my metal is very dense, so I'm gonna struggle.
[Ren] Alright, chat over. Let's get out of here, dude. But um- are you recording this?
[Martyn] Ah-! 3 years and I still always forget to turn these-
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] Good evening, my liege.
[Ren] Hand of the King. To what do I owe the pleasure?
[Martyn] The carrots, m'lord! It will be a bountiful harvest!
[Ren] Oh, dude! No way! Show me right this instant.
[Martyn] I took your teachings and successfully grew a small handful of carrots. Come see!
(a pair of footsteps then a sliding door being pushed out of the way)
(Sound of dirt shifting as a carrot is pulled from the soil)
Ta-da!
[Ren] (excited, high-pitched) Oh! Dude! Look at that!
[Martyn] That's right boss, fresh produce right here in our garden. They're a little small, but size isn't everything.
[Ren] Let's get these out of the ground and wash them. We could make a carrot cake with these!
[Martyn] This is why you're the boss. I would have never thought of that.
[Ren] (laughing) But what's a King without his loyal Hand?
[Click]
-
[Click]
(the recording starts while Martyn and Ren are in the middle of laughing)
(there's the sound of cake batter being aggressively stirred underlining the recording)
[Ren] Martyn, you're wasting batter!
[Martyn] You said to mix well!
[Ren] Dude! Not that well! You're getting cake giblets all over the kitchen! Stop it!
(Martyn and Ren laugh)
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Ren] (mocking) Statement of Ren Diggity Dog
I have no idea what you actually do at the archives, but I bet that's what you sound like.
[Martyn] Dude! What are you-
[Ren] Yes, I'd like to talk about my strange roommate-
[Martyn] Ren, don't even joke like that! Now give it here-
[Ren] You always use this to record me anyway. Why? Is it your personal audio diary?
[Martyn] No! That's not what that is!
[Ren] Then what is it?
[Martyn] How about you just hand it back and-
[Ren] (laughing) You're deflecting, dude! Oh, this is definitely a diary.
[Martyn] (laughing) Ren, give that-
[Click]
-
[Click]
(all sound is muffled as if through a wall)
[Scar] Knock knock!
[Ren] Scar-
[Scar] Ren! It's been a while!
Oh man, I missed this place. It's been, what? Four months since I last saw you?
(a pause, then Scar laughs)
As talkative as always.
How's your new roommate? I haven't seen the Archivist in ages! Is he good?
(a door opens and Scar's voice is no longer muffled) 
Oh wow. There's a lot of interesting stuff in here.
(Scar hums something as he thinks)
(he starts to rummage through Martyn's things)
Ah! There it is.
Ren, you won't miss these, right?
[Ren] No- No, you can have them.
[Scar] Wonderful. Pleasure doing business with you, Ren.
[Click]
-
[Click]
(extended silence)
[Martyn] I thought I could trust him...
(a pause)
(Martyn makes a frustrated sound and tosses the tape onto his bed)
(fading as he walks out) Ren, did you touch the thermostat again!?
[Click]
-
[Click]
(door opening)
(silence)
[Ren] Sorry, Martyn.
(Ren sniffs the air then he enters the room)
(extended sound of papers being rummaged through)
[Ren] There you are- erm, whatever you are.
Statement of Pearl Moon. Okay. I can work with that.
(a pause then footsteps approach)
[Ren] When did this turn on?
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] (whispering and panicked) Ren has been standing on the other side of my door for an hour now. Waiting...
I don't know what he wants. I know he's been taking Hunt statements, but I have no idea why. I can't even tell how far gone he is or why he's hunting m-
(a knock on the door)
(Martyn holds his breath)
(extended silence)
(distant footsteps as Ren walks away)
Yeah, fuck that. I'm not sleeping tonight.
[Click]
-
[Click]
(distant sounds of screaming, everything muffled as if through a wall)
(there's a collection of a dozen heavy footsteps all quickly getting further away along with the screaming)
(Ren and Martyn are also muffled through the wall)
(Ren is laughing, hysterical and manic)
[Martyn] Ren, get a hold of yourself!
(Ren continues to laugh)
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Martyn] Hang on, I'm just going to grab a few random statements then we can go!
[Ren] (distant) Take your time!
(sound of a small handful of papers being picked up)
[Martyn] It's going to be fine...
(Martyn takes in a deep breath)
(he releases his breath, quivering like he's cold)
(a pause)
Fuck...
[Click]
-
[Click]
[Ren] (whispering) Martyn passed out the moment his head hit the couch. The statements he read helped heal his wounds a little. They're still... bad, but at least he's sleeping through it.
Me, though? I think I'm going to be awake for a while.
So I'm trying what Martyn does. Talk complete nonsense into a tape just to turn thoughts into words. I had to grab his audio diary from his room since the one we had ran out of tape. I'm sure he won't mind this one time. Plus, I know he listens back through this one all the time and I...
I kind of want him to hear this.
I guess first, Martyn looks terrible. I'm staring at his filthy face right now from across the room. He's covered in dirt and his sweater is completely ruined. Although, I guess that's my fault. But he's been wearing that same sweater for months now. Good riddance, I say.
I'll find him a proper style when he's ready to go out again.
(Ren chuckles to himself then pauses)
Only if he wants to, of course.
(another pause)
I think... I think he's stuck with me now. After my... change, he said the hunt was over but... I know he only put it on hold. I can feel my blood waiting, itching for him to run so I can chase him down again. He said he wasn't going anywhere but...
[Martyn] (groggy and distant) Ren?
[Ren] Oh- Martyn. I'm sorry, did I wake you, my friend?
(movement as Ren gets up and walks towards Martyn)
[Martyn] No. I've been up this whole time. Listening.
[Ren] I didn't mean to keep you up, dude. My bad.
[Martyn] Can I have the tape?
(the recorder is passed to Martyn)
Ren, did you know the cold is typically an attribute of the Lonely?
[Ren] So what's your theory on the snow back at Dogwarts, then..?
[Martyn] My current theory is that you're too much of a social guy to be attracting the Lonely.
(a pause)
[Ren] Oh, Martyn...
[Martyn] I meant it, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm with you.
[Ren] It's you and me to the end.
[Martyn] Yeah. To the End.
[Click]
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zmediaoutlet · 1 month
Text
They’re loud enough coming into the motel room that Sam would feel bad for the neighbors, if this weren’t a total dirtbag no-tell. $39 a night and worth every grimy penny. Dean’s still telling him about the plot of Metalstorm. At volume.
“Dude, and then Hurok—I told you about his backstory, right? With the Two-Eyed Queen?”
“Maybe,” Sam says, dropping to the nearer bed. “I think I lost the will to live somewhere around the killer shrapnel tornadoes.”
A raspberry. Dean stows the six-pack they bought on the way back from the bar in the mini-fridge and pulls out two bottles. “Telling you, no appreciation,” he says, but he’s not pissed. He’s grinning at Sam, weirdly cheery like he’s been all day.
“What’s with you,” Sam says, accepting his beer. Dean cracks it for him with the ring, plops down on the other bed. His boots stretched out around Sam’s legs. “You’re like—a kid cracked out on birthday candy.”
“Hey, this is a good day, man,” Dean says, expansive. He waves a hand, vaguely encompassing the dingy room and Hollywood and the whole world, possibly. “Got to go to a legit movie set, met two movie stars, and the case isn’t even really a case, which means no dead guy, which means no digging up a grave, which means: we got the night off, hombre.”
He says it with the h. “Pretty sure Gerard St. James doesn’t count as a movie star,” Sam says, but it’s hard not to smile back at Dean when he’s being—ebullient, practically.
Dean grins, knows he won. “You’re not ruining this for me,” he says, pointing at Sam. Then—it’s strange, how quick—his grin dips, turns. His lower lip bitten, lopsided. “I know you wanted a—a distraction, or whatever. We can find another job. Here or we could go south maybe. TJ?” His eyebrows pop. “Could get a show.”
“Spare me,” Sam says. Dean leans forward, looking all over Sam’s face, which heats. God, Dean. So annoying Sam could kill him, but also… “Thought you wanted to go to the Hard Rock Cafe, anyway.”
A second, two. Dean finishes examining his aura or something and then his grin gets dirtier, which is impressive because Sam thought he’d found a new depth before. “Hey, we can get hard as a rock right here,” he says, and Sam rolls his eyes, says, “That doesn’t actually—work,” and Dean surges forward not fast but inevitable as plate tectonics, pushes Sam down to his back on the bed, crawls up with his knees on either side of Sam’s hips, makes Sam hold his beer wide and to the side so it doesn’t spill, grins down into Sam’s face. Purely—glad.
“Does too,” Dean says, the dingy light riming him like a halo. Sam has no idea what he’s responding to but so what. Dean takes a swallow of his beer, throat bobbing, and then takes Sam’s out of his hand so they clink together, reaches down and sets them on the carpet. Leaves Sam free to grab his hips, his waist. Familiarity of what feels like his whole life taking over. This unseating at the back of the brain, like being drunk, except he only had two at the bar and it’s really just the wild spinning reality of—being Dean’s brother. What that means, when they’re together, and things are good.
But—“I don’t need a distraction,” Sam says, sliding his hand up Dean’s stomach. No hair, just the soft warm give of his skin. Options flickering in his gut, knowing how the night’s going to go, but he wants to be sure. That Dean knows, that it’s not—
But Dean knows. Sam can’t trust that Dean knows every swirling doubt in him, especially in these days of strange terror, but on this, with this, Dean might as well be in MENSA. “Good,” Dean says, warm. He gets his hand between them on Sam’s crotch, on where he’s swelling up the denim. Sam’s hips flinch, curving up. A crooked smile, and then his tongue touching the point of his tooth. All the blood in Sam’s brain drains abruptly to where it’s needed. Dean leans down, close, so Sam can smell his beer-breath and his skin. Salt. Sam’s mouth waters and Dean looks between his eyes. Making it easy. “Wouldn’t want you distracted.”
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leverage-ot3 · 1 year
Text
thinking about how certain characters on the leverage team have been in mortal peril and why it was one person vs another and what that means
nate has been shot, like, multiple times. he’s the leader, the planner, the mastermind. he may not be the hitter but he takes risks that might not always pay off or be in best fortune for him, and he knowingly does that anyway. not much regard for his life sometimes to be completely honest. he’s also easily the most volatile (lesser as the seasons go on but still) and most likely to make a rash decision (season four season finale I’m looking directly at you)
I’m not going to talk about eliot too much because he experiences a lot of pain, but, also, it’s almost always pain that he can endure. he is the hitter- he’s the one that is supposed to take the brunt of the pain, the one prepared to get injured for the sake of the con and the safety of the team. he knows exactly what he is getting into when he throws himself into the situation. knows the risks, the damage he’s putting himself in for
hardison is frankly the biggest example of someone who is put into grave danger (ha). I’m thinking about possibly being murdered in the experimental job, buried alive in the grave danger job, drowning in the pool in the big bang job, etc. he’s not a hitter, doesn’t have the maneuverability or stealth of a thief. he can talk himself out of situations (within reason) but that can only go so far. and he’s not nate, making plans before they act. there’s lowkey a reason why he’s in the van besides the fact that his job necessitates it. barring sophie, he’s probably the least equipped/experienced to deal with real danger, real violence
on the other hand, sophie almost never gets hurt. sure, a gun may get pointed at her, but she can surely talk her way out (‘it’s not loaded’ ‘it was’ ‘not to a grifter’). I honestly can’t remember a time that sophie was ever seriously injured??? she is so meticulous about setting herself up in situations that will specifically not get her hurt, or where she has some sort of safety net or backup plan. I’m thinking about the quote where she says she gets people to unlock doors for her vs having to pick the lock herself
parker is somewhere in the middle of the spectrum but leans more towards sophie. she’s been in some scrapes and close calls (the inside job, the hot potato job with the burn room, the long way down job). but in nearly every situation like this she finds herself in, she can also work herself out of. she can run fast enough and climb and crawl far enough, dodge lasers well enough that she can manuver herself out of the problem. the few times she was ever in real danger was when she put herself there (I’m specifically thinking about the stork job when she puts herself between children and people with guns) (albeit fake guns)
some underdeveloped thought in the back of my mind is turning around the idea of importance to the show/team’s core and the likelihood of getting hurt
(talking eliot out of the equation so as not to skew the data, hardison is hurt the most because he is the heart of the group. nate is hurt so much because he is the leader. sophie and parker are undoubtedly still important, but have the skills to maneuver out of those situations before they spiral out of control)
(although the act of taking eliot out of the equation says something in of itself. something about the only person capable of taking that amount of pain for those he loves, etc, etc)
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thenotsoholyspirit · 2 months
Text
Holding (Pt 4/5)
Matt Murdock x reader (angst)
(Here for part 1, 2 , 3)
AU: Hey, I know it's been a while since I've posted on this series but writers block has been a real deal for me these past days. Although, I still have a lot of ideas and a whole other series to end so stay tuned 💙 (and yes that includes the Foggy fic :3)
Summary: A conversation in the roof may offer a change in the situation. After all, sometimes all you need is faith.
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I've never been quite the best catholic. 
From making a fuss in my baptism, to refuse ever to marry, I was quite the shame in a family of faithful believers. 
“Sometimes you have to believe without seeing” 
I always hated that idea, blind faith. And yet in spite of everything I still accompanied my mother every Sunday to our city's chapel. Soon after I moved out, that routine was still ingrained in me, and despite not having a logical answer to it, I kept going to mass. 
That’s how I met him. The one that would soon become both my salvation and my perdition. The one I was risking it all for in spite of everything. 
“He can’t be that far, please he can’t be that far
As the day progresses, I feel a sense of desperation crawl on me, noticing how the streets get busier and I haven't yet found any clue to His whereabouts.
Not a sight of him close to his old apartment or even old hangout spots.
He had indeed erased every trace he could have left
As I feel the day progress, I sigh. Maybe these extreme circumstances also required extreme decisions. I decide to head down to the Presidential Hotel.
————-——
When I arrive, I immediately notice the multitude of police cars and security guards surrounding the building. It couldn’t be more obvious that someone important was brought to this place
Sneaking up, I try to see if there’s any entry, but it’s obviously closed up to the public.
“Well I may need to broaden my definition of entry then”
As my attention catches  some fire escape stairs attached to a building not far behind, I can’t help but let out a small grin. After spending so much time with him, knowing Matt’s way of thinking had become almost a second nature.
It was probably too early, as I will surely need to wait for him hidden on some rooftop, but to simply think about the vertigo was enough to make my stomach turn.
“C'mon (y/n) remember just have faith.”
I start then to awkwardly climb up the ladder making sure not to startle the whole neighbourhood.
For a moment, I feel comfortable, pacing my steps and taking deep breaths, until I hear the crackling sound of a metal piece falling from the wall.
I gulp
“For God sake I'm a vet not a gymnast”
Yet the top doesn’t seem too far now and the idea of returning was worse. I decide to keep climbing.
Suddenly, I lose my equilibrium, feeling the void as I fall from my back until I feel the grip of a hand on my arm, saving me from a surely fatal fall.
“(Y/n) ?”
I look up, noticing a man dressed completely in black with only a beanie covering his face, and some cords attached to his wrists. He seems genuinely surprised to find me here. 
“Matt”
“I…” I’m short of words as he pulls me into the safety of the rooftop. I fall down the floor deeply breathing, “How did you know I was here”
“Well.. He tries to give me a small smile ,  “You were lucky I could basically hear your heartbeat explode streets away” 
“.. I must sound like a cacophony in your ears… but I’m sure there are also thousands of New-Yorkers being deeply worried at this very moment”
“ I guess.. I just became good picking up yours in particular”
I cannot help but to slightly blush as he tells me this. There is a tense silence now between us, too many things that should be said or should’ve.
“Don’t go” 
My tone is grave, letting him know I know his reasons for coming down here.  He slightly clenches his teeth, as I feel an anger I haven’t seen yet in him.
Something had happened.
Something felt broken
“I need to do it (y/n)” 
His tone was direct. Cold. He turns his back from me towards the Hotel. I imagine him trying to analyze the best way to get in, reading into each heartbeat , each voice, each movement…. But I wasn’t going to give up that easily.
“You aren't saving anyone by doing this..please..” 
Matt immediately snaps, turning again towards me. I was still on the floor and the bare light coming from the light poles made him appear even more intimidating.
“You don’t understand”…
“True… it’s true I don’t, I’m not you… “, I sigh, accepting it, “I’ll never fully understand this vigilante double life you live.. but I do see the man behind it”
I now stand up, letting us face to face as I continue to talk.
“I and see him and care enough about him that I’m not letting him commit a mistake he’ll forever regret” 
I see Matt keep his facade, but I notice the way his hands now slightly tremble holding his billy club. When he talks again, his voice is weaker.
“He has hurt so many people… and I’'m not meant to simply go and enjoy this life after all that has happened”, He takes his beanie off as I now see  his eyes “After hurting so many others... me.”´
I shake my head. I couldn’t lie, or deny the hurt of past decisions, but it didn't mean I could simply let him go.
“I'm not denying that it’s not easy but.. I’m here tonight for a reason… “ 
I look up to him, hoping he could sense the sincerity of my words
“I can’t let you do this.. this city needs its hero.. and well.. I do still need you”
I let these last words settle as I’m now a bit shy. I see Matt is about to reply, when we’re suddenly interrupted by some police sirens demanding civilians to clear up the space. His face drops.
“He can't be here already….”
I’m now a bit confused.
“Who ?”
Matt sighs, he seems tired but tries to explain to me the best he can. 
“I’m not the only one in this city holding a grudge against Fisk..” Matt leans again his attention towards the building “ There is a dangerous man looking for him” 
I notice the way his body tenses up, the same way it has always done when he senses a danger nearby. His grip becomes stronger, his face almost scarily stern, yet the voice he uses to catch my attention seems softer than usual.
“That night I.. I was sure I had lost you forever.. and who could blame you..” He gives me a sad smile, trying his best to hold his emotions. “I had to live with the fact that I had hurt you.. forced you to pull away from me..this loneliness.. it was my crux to bear”
I shake my head at his words, trying to be as direct as I could knowing time was running out.
“Matthew… I love you.. I still do..” I slowly approach him , caressing his cheek with my hand as I clean away some tears  “I just need to be sure you do as well” 
Almost as a reflex, I go grab his arm, feeling my own insecurities resurface as the fear of being abandoned twists my heart. He seems to pick up on this as he pulls me closer. I can feel the breeze on his words.
“ I swear.. “ Me murmurs against my ear, his voice now taking a more protective tone “That I’ll never let go of you again… “
I’m now the one letting my own tears stream down my face 
“You promise ?” 
My voice was so small, barely a whisper , as I use the tone I knew only Matt could ever hear
“I won’t stop even if you never forgive me”
I can’t retain myself any longer.
I dive in, pulling him into the deepest of kisses as I feel my whole body give in. The desire that has already been pleading for him could not no longer keep on waiting. 
Matt seems slightly surprised at the beginning, almost nervous at my reaction, but once he notices my unwillingness to let him go, he puts his hands around my waist our foreheads now touching. I need to hang on to him. 
“I’ve missed it so much” , he murmurs for just a moment, forgetting the world around us. I give him a little smile, slightly curious at his choice of words as he continues, “ I mean the feeling of you… your heartbeat, your smell…you've always been my safest place…I thought I’d never get to sense you from so close again” 
As I’m about to respond, the noise of police sirens shakes us up as we hear  the sound of gunshots down the building. Of course, Matt has more insight as he clenches his teeth and steps back.
“Go,” I look at him with a knowing look “I know you have a job to do”
I come a bit closer for a moment.
“Just promise me you will come back home tonight” 
I keep holding his hand for a second, sensing his flow of thoughts coming against him. He mutters again. 
“All this anger..”
“I know.. but you don't have to be alone anymore Matt” I take deep breaths as I try to send him some peace too, “I’ll be here”
He walks to the edge of the ceiling, pulling his mask back on. I give him a last reassuring look.
“I’ll leave the living room window open.. in case you come in late” , my tone is slightly hesitant “Of course if you want to come by I-“
I notice the corners of his lips curl into a little smirk.
“I will… and don’t worry”, he slightly tosses his head as he smiles, letting me admire his toned collar bone for even just a second., … “I promise I won’t take too long sweetheart” 
Before I can even protest his cocky words, he jumps off the next building, leaving me alone again, but now completely blushing. I may have also missed that pet name and his way of flirting.   
Some things really don't change after all.
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star-girl69 · 1 year
Text
Keep Me Ablaze
Jake Sully x Neytiri x Fem!Reader
—-
a/n: i hope you all enjoy!!
warnings: mentions of guns, injury, brief violence, mentions of death, tell me if i missed anything!!
Chapter Nineteen- After
—-
“Don’t you dare touch her!”
Grace’s voice is the first you hear, and the first thing you feel is the stale air of the base. The second thing you feel is hands. Not like hers, not even like his, unknown and wrong and the sensation almost makes you sick.
“Put her down!” Grace shrieks again, and you cannot even move. You let them pull you up and drag you, stand you on two unsteady feet that don’t feel like yours.
You suffered years without Neytiri, but you heart learned to grow around the empty space of her, until you had her back again and you were overflowing with her.
Now, it feels like your heart is exploding in your chest, like you’ve been hit with shrapnel, blown apart by the fire that still causes Hometree to burn.
You’re kept ablaze, and it’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced.
You want to go back to how it was before, to that one night where you mated, where everything was happy and okay and you were safe.
“You… murderer!” Grace spits, her voice cutting through the physicality the air has taken on. Like the air is filled with the bodies of the dead, and you’re wading through it, but the temptation to sink under is almost too much.
You lost Jake, and now you lost Neytiri.
What is left for you anymore?
You know nothing but the ache in your chest, and if you close your eyes hard enough, it’s like she’s what you’re sinking into.
—-
“I was trying to protect you. You know that, right? You can be as mad as you want. You can hate me for the rest of your life, but- I did it for you.”
The cell has been silent for some time, like the marks of the graves in the soil are also on your skin.
Jake sits in the middle, hunched over in his wheelchair, Norm is sprawled out on the bench next to you, and Grace has her knees pressed to her chest next to you.
It was silent, before she spoke, and it let your mind run wild, let you imagine another reality where this never happened- and the three of you were happy.
You look up at Grace, but you eyes stop on him.
Maybe, if this was before, he would be sitting next to you, and you could press your ear against his chest and hear his heartbeat and everything would be alright for just that moment.
But it’s not, so your eyes continue to Grace.
She’s no longer tucked into herself, now her feet rest on the floor, legs spread as she digs her elbows into the top of her thighs. She stares at you, mouth parted like she might speak again, and if you squint her eyes are a little shiny.
“Protect me from what?” you hiss, bitter and miserable and yearning for something you will never know again. “You knew, Grace. You knew I was falling in love with him and you knew what he did.”
Jake doesn’t even look up. Is he even listening? You almost want him to, you want him to know how much you loved him and how much he hurt you. You feel it all like a thousand stars, and you want him to feel it too.
Your skin is raw with the memory of his touch, of hers.
“I wanted to be wrong,” she bites back. “I wanted to believe that you could be happy, that you wouldn’t end up like- like me.”
Josephine, the air seems to sing.
You remember just earlier, when she tried to explain herself but you wanted to know betrayal, and she told you that you were so much like your mother. The memory stings now, but maybe she was right.
Here you are, the last woman standing, with nothing but memories to feed you. You know all that you have lost and you know you will never feel it again.
“I didn’t want you to feel pain like that.”
You had been staring hard at her face, like you could burst her into flames, but when her eyes meet yours it feels so much like before you have to look away.
“Like what?” you ask, looking down at the floor like she will crawl out of it. Like the before will.
You can imagine her smiling softly, how she always smiles when she talks about your parents. “Like loss,” she says, and this is the after.
—-
The sound of the door sliding open is faint, but the four of you hear it anyways, and perk up immediately. Neither of you know who this means.
“What going on, brother?” Trudy greets, and you immediately know something will happen. “Long time no see.”
“Hey,” the guard greets, and she walks forward, pushing a cart in her hands.
“Personally, I don’t feel these tree-hugging traitors deserve steak,” she smiles.
“They get steak?” he asks, and Trudy chuckles as he leans down, hand out to open the compartments of the plain gray cart. “That’s bullshit. Let me see that.”
Then, faster than you can even see, she pulls out her gun and presses it against the side of his head.
“Yeah. You know what that is. Down,” she hisses, and with a gun to his head, the man follows.
“Trudy!” Norm gasps, standing with Grace and running for the door. You hesitate. It’s almost too good to be true. Some part of you feels like you’ve had too much luck in this lifetime, that you shouldn’t push it.
“All the way down,” she guides, and you watch as the guard is forced flat onto the floor. Then, she raises the hand with the gun and brings it down hard on the back of his head. He jumps, before going still.
You gasp and stand, but Trudy only pockets the gun and shouts Max’s name.
He comes running through the open corridor, around the abandoned cart, pressing a key chain to the lock on your holding cell.
You take one quick look around the cell. Boring and grey, with two black benches on the opposite walls, this is no place to live a life. However briefly, this place is nothing like the forest, like Pandora.
Besides, even the smallest chance of seeing her again is worth anything.
—-
The next thing you know, you’re running through the underground halls of Hell’s Gate. This place, the fake place, feels nothing like where you were raised.
You’ve never been down here before, never been so deep and dark underground. You feel almost claustrophobic.
The wheels of Jake’s chair spur against the rough floor, but he pushes through it, and you find yourself trailing behind him. Grace runs next to you, and you can’t look at her, can’t think too much about what’s happened.
“Trudy, fire up the ship!” Jake calls, before sparing a look over his shoulder to urge Norm to go with her. “Go!”
They run forward, going a different path, while you follow Jake out of this underground mess. You listen to the sound of the wheels, footsteps against metal.
Grace runs past him, and you let out a soft pant as she opens the door, following her quick. Jake and Max stop at the door, and you look at them out of the corner of your eye as you fix your mask on.
Jake puts a hand on his shoulder. “Max, stay here. I need someone on the inside I can trust.”
The more time you spend with Jake Sully, the more he confuses you. Sometimes he has a plan down to the last detail, and other times he is running into action.
You still don’t really know if the night you mated was a spur of the moment decision, or he has been wanting to say that, even planning to. You almost want to ask him. But you don’t. You can’t, not after what he did.
“Okay,” Max agrees, looking around. “Go.”
You watch as Grace hands Jake a mask, and he puts it over his face. You can still see the bruise where Quaritch punched him.
You remember how his eyes darkened when you called for him, when he saw you restrained by that faceless soldier. You want it to be like that again, you want to feel him again, but he betrayed you and you can’t.
His eyes meet yours, and for once, you don’t look away. He stares at you like he sees your pain, like he wants to hold your pain and your happiness and take the bad away and kiss the good. He stares at you like he loves you. And maybe he does, but that doesn’t change the fact that he betrayed you and The People.
“C’mon,” he mutters, hand on his wheels again, and his eyes tear away from yours.
This is the after, and it burns like you have never known. It burns wrong. This is the after.
—-
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