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#but he’s also not a gay chad because again. he’s too awkward
ncji · 2 years
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[ HOW DID THIS GET SO LONG!? ]
[ An au where Neji fakes his death (somehow) and goes into hiding as a blind man in Suna. Blind because it allows him to cover his eyes. You know, because Hyuuga are not a naturally occurring phenomenon in Suna...
Anyway, in order to survive, he has to work, so he takes a job at a paint shop mixing batches for the owner. The constant stirring doesn't bother him because most of his life has been circles and spinning, you know?
So Kankurou comes into the shop one day to buy some paint for himself and his puppets, and the shop owner introduces him to her new employee, because he's such a nice boy. They don't necessarily bond. Neji feels awkward around him and doesn't have much to contribute to their casual conversation. Kankurou is looking through rose-tinted glasses, though. Anything Neji says is pretty damn interesting to him.
Suddenly, Kankurou is "running out of paint" every day, and that means he's draining a lot more money than usual. Temari follows him to the shop and can immediately see why he's always there. At that point, Neji is aware of the crush, but he doesn't know what to do about it. Temari casually invites Neji over for dinner for her brother, and Neji can't refuse because it's the kazekage's family. He LIKES being in Suna, ok!?
Dinner is awkward. Again, Neji doesn't have much to add to the conversation. He's not supposed to be a shinobi, so he can't add his opinion on shinobi matters. He finds puppets creepy at best. And every time he brings up his own small interests, Kankurou doesn't have much to say about them either. They're pretty clearly incompatible, but Kankurou doesn't see that. Everyone else does, though.
They also notice the brief conversations between Neji and Gaara flow smoothly and comfortably. They're both quiet people who don't mind just listening, and Gaara seems interested in Neji's boring ass interests. They really hit it off. For them, it's an immediate friendship, for Temari, it's a yikes, and for Kankurou, it's a hell no.
Neji is invited over a lot more. It's definitely not the best idea if he wants to stay under the radar, but Suna is lonely. There's no Tenten, no Lee, no Gai...no Hinata. He's a sad bean. So he allows himself to make a new bestie...and a sort-of-friend he at least admires for his determination to get into his pants.
He and Gaara chill a lot, because they're both very chill, and eventually grow close enough to discuss deeper topics. Neji doesn't disclose too much, but he makes his opinion known about abusive ideals in family structures. Gaara, of course, shares his opinion. Gaara discloses a lot more. He has some things he needs to talk about, and his family is still too afraid of him to chat comfortably and Naruto won't visit Suna enough (what a dick). He even allows himself to cry in front of Neji. The trust he puts in him...Of course, all of Gaara's secrets are safe with Neji. He's not the gossiping type. Who would he tell anyway?
During this time, Kankurou is still trying, because why not? Get it, Kanky! He pops into Gaara's room every now and then, TOTALLY NOT SPYING, and asks Neji to come feel out (because "blind") his latest puppet. Neji usually agrees to. Kankurou is a nice person, so he at least tries to learn about his treasured creations. (He will not touch Karasu, though. Too spooky. Is that human hair or fur? Whatever it is, it sticks up everywhere. He cannot.) Despite these little moments, Kankurou is still jealous of Gaara's relationship with him.
But he tolerates it because it's Gaara, and they really do seem to be just friends.
Until they don't. It starts with Gaara asking Neji if he knows what the family looks like. Neji, of course, has to claim he doesn't. He even makes up what he would imagine they look like based on their voices. (Gaara is a Chad.) Gaara describes them all, but, running into a brick wall when all he can think to describe is colors, he offers to let Neji touch his face. Neji gets nervous because he just doesn't touch people. That's not a thing in his clan. He barely let his friends touch him. He's supposed to be blind, though, so he reaches out and touches Gaara's face. He manages to muster the courage to rest one hand on his cheek fully, then he pulls his hand away because it felt too intimate for him. Gaara doesn't understand Neji is just from a conservative clan. He just sees him pull away and blush. The Suna siblings once discussed the possibility Neji just isn't into men. Well, Gaara now thinks he's just not into Kankurou. Him, on the other hand...
Anyway, it changes the dynamic of their relationship. Really fast. Because Gaara isn't the socially subtle type. He either doesn't bring something up or he asks what he wants to know. He asks Neji if he likes him, and Neji...really just answers yes because Gaara's the kazekage (and Neji wants to stay in Suna) and he doesn't want to lose him as a friend to an awkward conversation. When things start moving in that direction, though, he realizes he really kind of does like him.
Gaara tries his hardest at the whole romance thing. He always wanted to feel loved, so he shows Neji that love. Neji fucking swoons for it. It makes him weak. Being told the aspects about his personality that are lovable? Amazing. Getting compliments whenever Gaara notices something about him that he finds attractive? The best. Being hugged when he talks about something that makes him feel vulnerable? The whole touch thing really isn't that bad. Yeah, he's in it to win it. He wants this relationship.
Gaara becomes his priority number one. Kankurou realizes that when Neji won't come with him as often anymore. He also notices they sit a lot closer than before. It's especially hard not to notice them FUCKING KISSING. Their first kiss. But Kankurou doesn't know that. Probably wouldn't care anyway. He interrupts them. And so the drama begins.
It becomes a whole thing about trust and brothers. Brothers aren't supposed to steal loved ones from brothers. Neji argues he can't be stolen because he is not owned. (It's a sore spot for him.) Gaara agrees with Neji, but he also doesn't want to ruin his family. It's a shit show.
When there's an assassination attempt on Gaara, it gets even worse. Because Neji, the blind non-ninja paint stirrer they know as "Sora" (It means sky. Where do birds escape the cage to? The sky. What do birds do? Soar.), uses a Hyuuga technique to deflect the attack he shouldn't have been able to see. (You don't think about your boyfriend's sand shield when there's a blade flying at him. You protect.) No one says a fucking word. Gaara is the one who silently pulls the bandages off of him to see he's a Hyuuga.
Kankurou is the one who breaks the silence. At first, he just accuses him of lying, but, then, he asks if Konoha sent him as a spy. Neji denies it, but Gaara shuts down his excuses. His trust has been betrayed. His heart hurts. Let there be war.
Neji's thrown in a literal dungeon, but he's a ninja, so...he breaks tf out. What defense do they have against a Hyuuga? Literally nothing. They've never dealt with them before. Where's the key? Oh, inside that asshole's pocket. Just gonna jab his tenketsu through these bars and NOW HE'S DOWN AND NEJI HAS THE KEY!
He sneaks up to Gaara's room, but Gaara knows he's coming. He's got a sand clone blocking Neji from getting too close. He's not silencing Neji, though. Maybe he just wants to hear the truth for once. Neji begs him to call off the battle that's coming. He tells him who he is and what his history is. He tells him about his fears, one of which is to have his seal activated again, which he believes will happen if he lets a Main House Hyuuga get close, especially since he started a whole war between Suna and Konoha. Everything lines up with the person Gaara already knows. It's just the reasons he is who he is. Maybe it's because he wanted to forgive him from the start, but he breaks pretty quickly.
Gaara calls off the battle. He sends a messenger out to barter for peace. They accept on one condition: Konoha wants its Hyuuga back. Obviously, Gaara isn't going to give up his heart, so he's like BRING IT ON THEN! Only in calm, cryptic Gaara fashion.
Konoha sends a small unit along with one Hyuuga to outline the terms of peace and the importance of returning the Hyuuga to Konoha. It's a diplomatic approach, until Gaara denies him for the umpteenth time and the Hyuuga demands to know where his fellow Hyuuga is. He wants to talk to him. Gaara refuses again. The Hyuuga forms a seal, but nothing happens.
HE ACTIVATED THE CAGED BIRD SEAL, but Neji was tucked safely inside a special puppet designed to prevent any activations, whether they be of explosive tags or seals. Yes, Kankurou is team Gaara and Neji. A family reunited by a common goal of protecting Suna's Hyuuga.
That's...as far as my brain got? Uh, but I'm sure it ends with a very relieved Team Gai, a very MIFFED Hyuuga head, and wedding bells. Probably a talk no jutsu that calms everyone's tits and somehow mentions Sasuke...Yep. ]
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ilkkijangege · 2 years
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134
So after nearly 3 years, I saw him again at our work Summer Party on the 30th of September.
I really did not expect to see him there. I'm certain he saw me but I didn't say hi to him at all. It's too awkward.
Anyways, all the what ifs came back to me and man has it been a whirlwind.
I've completely moved on and I do wish him happiness, whether he's in a relationship or not.
We'll be back to the office by the 15th of December but idk how much run ins we'll have because we'll be working at opposite sides of the office, unless they change the seating arrangements haahha but oh well.
He hasn't changed one bit. I wish I had said hi but too late now ahahhah
Byeee
......
17 October
So today, I found out that he's returning back to the office on Monday, the 23rd and I honestly expected him to WFH til December. I was going to volunteer but I enjoy WFH still so I'm waiting til December.
But I keep thinking, what if I volunteer early so we can have moments while the office is quiet? 🤣
Charrrr
......
20 October
Well, guess whaaattt???
I checked our seating arrangement in the office and it looks like he is sitting beside me ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
I swear that seat was empty last week and I was shook, I thought I was imagining it 🤣🤣🤣
Oh gosh gonna be so awkward now will it.
I wonder what he thought when he saw me beside him?? 🤣🤣
But I am sure that the seating arrangement will change again, I just have a feeling. I should ask hahaa
But I'd be relieved if we do change ahaha
......
25 October
Update: we're moving to the other building 🙄🙄🙄
He's probably going to leave soon since the other building is way out for him.
Meaning, our seat assignment will also change 😂
......
4 November
Wow, it's been a whole minute since I last dreamt of him. I dreamt that he left the company.
Though, I honestly think he could leave cos the other office would be too far for him but we shall see.
......
13 December
So today was my first day back in the office and I did not expect to see him so casually.
He's definitely gained weight especially in his face.
We didn't say hi to each other but maybe one day.
........
19 December
So I was sick since Thursday and came back to work today.
I swear to God he kept using the toilet in our section today like fam you have one in your corner 😂 I mean to say that I probably saw him (from afar) like 3 times today. We still haven't said a word to each other 😂
But he's been such a turn off lately because his quality scores haven't been good 😂 like fam kasi if di mo ako ni-reject, tinulungan pa sana kita at naging inspiration mo ako to do well in life CHAROT ayan tuloy pinag uusapan ka sa work 😂
.......
4 Jan
Let me share something funny 😂
So we were literally inches away earlier in work but he didn't say hi, like fam if ayaw mo ako kausapin edi wag 😂
Tapos we have this community blackboard thing. 2 weeks ago, I wrote " the QAs are watching" and my sistar told me he overheard Chad tell her SME about it and how there was a response to it: NO. Like out of all the things written there, you pointed that out? Ahahah that was the work of Bianca 😂
......
6 Jan
So today, I saw that Chad is going to be put on an action plan. Like damnnn di ka ba nahihiya senior analyst ka tapos your scores are shite???
Also GG told me that he thinks Chad is gay, like we were on the same team for a long time but he said it only clicked with him recently. He said like the way he talks is just so off 🤣 I told him if he could do more digging around that would be great so I can have much more of a closure like sealed in an envelope and stamped kinda thing 🤣
I mean Niel has always told me that he could be gay but he just never came across to me as one. He wasn't manly manly but he likes boy stuff like Spiderman, boy-ish video games and basketball. The usual things 🤣. Also he does hang around with straight men in work. (Which I wonder if he's ever told them that I had asked him out.) And okay, as I am writing it, I suddenly remembered his profile picture on our old workplace chat. It was Peter Griffin with long nails, so maybe he could be gay???
GG also told me he just seem non sexual/asexual to him 🤣
I mean if he is gay then I guess that's the closure I need 🤣 kasi it made me question my worth, di nya lang pala ako type 🤣
.....
16 Jan
So it's been 2 years since I got rejected by him. I'm super over him but of course I still joke about and do mention him a lot 😂 but honestly, I would feel terrible if i like him again, he's shite like ahaha buttt i don't understand why we cannot be civil with each other haist
.....
18 Jan
So I kept seeing him today (DUH) but there was a point where he literally sat beside us QAs during lunch with his friend but immediately got up and left 😂😂😂
Then he was in the kitchen with GG and I wanted to talk to GG but I couldn't
Then I went to the kitchen again a few hours later AND HE WAS THERE AGAIN LIKE FAM
I should say hi whenever he's alone the next time cos like....
.....
23 January
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA we got on the same lift today after lunch. I really wanted to say "Hi" but he went on his phone when he saw me.
I was with another QA (his QA btw) but it was still very awkward 😂
Hay Chad, let's forget the past and let's talk 😂
......
7 February
So yesterday was a bank holiday in Ireland. i was technically not supposed to be working but I did so I hid from the analysts and booked a dat office on the 5th floor.
He was on the early shift so he should have finished by 4. I went down to the our microkitchen in the 3rd floor and I saw him on one of the couches and I had to do a double take cos i was so confused as to why he was still there?? He was watching something on his phone but idk what it was ahahah
But another week, another silent treatment. 😂
........
8 February
I had a dream about him but I forgot but we were on speaking terms.
But!!! Today, for the first time, we crossed each other, like I was walking back to my desk and he was coming out of the toilet. I think we locked eyes briefly, I wanted to smile at him buy I got shy 😂
I mean sya rin naman dapat nag hello, bakit ako? 😂
Am I really over him?
AISH HI IT'S ME I'M THE PROBLEM IT'S ME
.......
13 Feb
Lol tumawa ako ng malakas and i could have sworn napatingin xa sa direction ko ahahah (he was using the standing desk feature and i can see him from like 20 feet away from my desk)
......
9 march
So I heard he applied for the SME role and today, GG told me that he interviewed for it. I'm seriously surprised that they are actually considering him for it 😂
But man, if he gets it parang wtf tlga.
(I also found out that he is now an aspiring full stack developer 😂 ok bro 😂)
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comradekatara · 3 years
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i know i’ve previously stated that zuko is not a chad, and while i in no way retract this statement, i do think it important, upon further consideration, to amend it. because while zuko has absolutely no success when it comes to women, this is 100% due to the fact that he, personally, refuses to. the truth of the matter is, zuko is deemed attractive by many teenage girls over the course of the show: almost immediately upon letting himself have a remotely attractive haircut (as opposed to his s1 abomination), song shows interest in him, which he returns by stealing her ostrich horse; then, we see jin, who asks him out only to have a coupon shoved in her face when she tries to kiss him; even katara assumes they are having a moment in the crystal catacombs, tenderly touching his face and everything, but hes all “oh whoops was that supposed to mean smth. lmfao oops.” and then there’s that scene in “the beach” wherein he dramatically casts off his robe to the approval of a gaggle of tittering girls—a moment to which he is completely oblivious, too busy cursing the sand or whatever. no, the show makes it quite obvious that zuko is, well, a hot teen boy. as much as viewers thirsted over him, characters within the show did too. but while zuko is evidently chad-passing, there are two crucial factors that bar him from any actual success scoring pussy, and that is the fact that a) he is deeply awkward and b) he is deeply gay.
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aoitrinity · 3 years
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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night
I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.
I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.
Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.
Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.
Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.
It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.
Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.
However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):
At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).
-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.
-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)
-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.
-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).
-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”
-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.
-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.
-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)
-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.
-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes
-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.
-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.
-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.
-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”
-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.
-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.
NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):
In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it. 
Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in. 
Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.
But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length. 
But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.
It was about cold, hard cash.
Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?
Walker.
And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.
Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.
They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.
So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages. 
They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.
And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.
And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.
I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?
Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.
Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.
Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:
Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.
And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.
Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.
For the sake of fucking money. 
And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.
So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments. 
I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve. 
We save them.
One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:
-The Castiel Project
-Dean Winchester is Love
-Sam Winchester Project
-The National Association of the Deaf
-The Jack Kline Project
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kj-1130 · 3 years
Text
Listen to Me
Uswnt x reader
⚠️mentions of fighting/violence, cursing, Chad being an asshole, mentions of racism, homophobia, and sexism. Lemme know if there’s more I missed.⚠️
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Main Masterlist
It was time for another camp. You were the last to arrive due to still being in school and having to be there as many hours as you possibly could.
So here you were in the airport walking towards a pissed off Alex Morgan and Christen Press.
The day before your flight to camp, you had gotten into trouble. Trouble meaning you got into a fight. And word got to your teammates.
“Hello my favorite, most amazing people in the whole wide world.”
Alex simply rolled her eyes and grabbed your suitcase before walking towards the exit with you and Christen trailing behind.
You lowered your gaze to the terminal floor. Christen tried to catch your eyes but ultimately failed and decided just to look straight forward as she talked.
“You know, you shouldn’t resort to violence, (y/n). I don’t know what happened but everyone’s pretty upset and disappointed right now.”
Ouch. The disappointment card. Just had to pull that one like you haven’t heard it just about everyday of your life. You were honestly confused if people were actually disappointed when they said it or just used it as a guilt trip.
The ride to the hotel was full of silence. And not one of those silences where you feel comfortable with the people you adore and love. It was one of those silences where it made you nervous and anxious. It made you fidget and uncomfortable.
Getting your room assignment, being with Tierna, you tried to book it up the stairs. That worked for all of five seconds until you were called into the meeting room.
You reluctantly stepped down and made your way to the space and left your suitcase by the door. In the room were almost all the responsible/‘scary when they want to be’ ones. Sitting down in a chair with a sigh, you looked down at your fidgeting hands and waited for someone to start talking.
The silence that filled the room was very tense. All that could be heard was the movement of your hands and breathing.
When you thought things couldn’t get any worse, the most mama-bear of them all, Carli, spoke up.
“You know you can lose your spot for stuff like this right? You got into a fight, this is not something you need to be taking lightly at all. I don’t care what caused it, but you need to fix whatever’s going on with your behavior and attitude because you’ve been off for the past few weeks anyway. If something like this happens again, we won’t hesitate to take some disciplinary actions ourselves. Am I clear, (y/n)?”
You mumbled ‘crystal’ and attempted to leave the room only to get pulled down by Ash. “Now do you wanna tell us what started the fight?”
You were honestly getting really uncomfortable. Any movement you were making at the moment was probably the only thing keeping you from breaking right now; the furrowing of your eyebrows, the rolling of your shoulders, scratching your arms, bouncing your leg. You probably looked crazy.
You shrugged your shoulders and started spinning in your chair.
Ash put her hand on it and prohibited it from being able to move. “That was not a suggestion.”
Sighing and dragging your hands over your face you told them, “A boy knocked books out of my hands and pushed me so I pushed him back. He didn’t like that so he threw the first punch and I wasn’t about to let him push me around so I beat his ass.”
It wasn’t a total lie but it wasn’t the full truth. Yes he did push you. And yes he did hit you first. But there was so much more to the situation than that.
“Look I’m tired and I have work I need to do. If you want to scold me anymore, just please save it for tomorrow.”
Honestly you had never run up stairs so fast. The situation was so awkward and the way everyone was staring at you didn’t make anything better. There was so much disappointment in their eyes.
It’s like what you do will never be enough for anyone.
-
The next day everyone came down from breakfast. You went to sleep after 12 due to having work piled up from your asshole teachers. It’s not like they grade half of it anyway.
You still didn’t understand one of the lessons so decided to watch some YouTube videos on it and take notes while eating breakfast. That also gave you an excuse to sit away from anyone who would possibly want to lecture you about your ‘reckless actions’.
You were the last one down. Deciding to already have headphones in—to ignore anyone calling your name—you grabbed your breakfast and sat down at a table by yourself. Pulling your notebook and pencil out, you started the video and took notes while eating.
You could feel their eyes burning holes in your head. You’d honestly prefer they just come ask what they wanted than staring at you like some museum exhibit.
You just ignored it and did your work. That was easier said than done as Casey came over, sat next to you, and snatched your earphones out.
“Hey!” You scrambled to pause the video so you didn’t miss anything. “I was watching that.”
Turning to Casey, you pushed your glasses up and gave her a look that said ‘can I help you?’
“Don’t give me that face. I’m not the one you need to be having an attitude with.”
“I-I don’t have an attitude though.”
“Stop talking.”
You purse your lips, nod your head, and start bouncing your leg waiting to hear whatever she wanted to say to you.
“Look, I don’t know what’s been going on at school or at home but everyone can tell you’re on edge. Isolating yourself isn’t going to help anyone-”
“But I’m not isolating myself.”
“Interrupt me one more time, child.”
Casey was your first team mom. When you joined the red stars, she immediately took you under her wing and she became your mentor. The two of you worked well together and she constantly kept you on track. She was very nice but could be very strict when she wanted to be.
“All I’m saying is you’re making yourself look more guilty to them because you’re sitting over here looking like you’re all up in your feelings. You aren’t in your feelings. Right? Cause that’d be another conversation I’d have to have with somebody’s child and-”
You cut her off with your chuckle and shook your head. “Casey, I’m fine.”
She nods her head and contemplates for a few seconds, “Alright, come sit at the table with me then.”
“But I’m working.”
“Okay. You can work over there too.”
You simply watched as she grabbed your phone, notebook and breakfast to the table with a gaped mouth.
You blinked at her while she mouthed ‘come here’. Reluctantly, you pushed yourself out the seat and slowly made your way over. You sat down and reached out for your phone only for Casey to snatch it away.
“I need to do my work. What did you do that for?”
“Your work can wait. Socialize,” she said while putting your phone out of work.
With raised eyebrows you said, “Seriously?”
“Does it look like I’m kidding?”
Huffing you turned in your seat and played with your food. You’d honestly lost your appetite this morning; it was only 9 in the morning and people were already testing your patience.
You looked up and your eyes locked with Carli’s.
“Stop playing with your food, (y/n).”
You put your fork down and just got up to throw your food away. You couldn’t deal with this right now.
-
The two weeks of camp was boring and went by agonizingly slow. It consisted of pretty much the same routine; you’d do work after training, work during breakfast and spend any free days or breaks by yourself (occasionally with Tierna) in your room, on your phone looking at ways to improve and tricks to do.
It became annoying when all the vets constantly reprimanded you for the smallest of things. With Carli, it’d be ‘stop playing around so much’. With Alex it’d be ‘pick up after yourself’. Even Kelley was doing it for fuck’s sake.
You honestly couldn’t wait to leave and at least be somewhere where all the attention isn’t on you.
-
When you got to the airport, your girlfriend was there waiting for you. She pulled you in her arms and any leftover tension from the past two weeks immediately went away. She always knew how to make you feel better.
The two of you drove to her house and went over some school work before going to bed for the night. It wasn’t an unusual routine between you two.
When the alarm went off in the morning both of you groaned. The school you went to was a total pain in the ass and regardless of what day it was, you could count on it to be an awful day. It was a predominately white school with only 2 percent being a person of color; you and your girlfriend being part of that 2%. Half of them were racist, sexist, homophobic, and just all around assholes.
Walking into the school building, you could immediately feel all eyes on you. Trying to get past it, the two of you just went to your lockers with your heads down.
“Aye! Look at me you freak!”
It was the same dude you got into a fight with last time(his name is Chad by the way). Apparently a black eye didn’t teach him shit.
“When I tell you to do something I expect you to do it.”
He grabs your shoulders, turns you around and pins you to the lockers.
“You see my eye?”
“Yeah, you got your ass beat by a girl. What you gonna do about it?”
He punched you in the stomach hard.
“(Y/n)!” Your girlfriend. You looked up at her and shook your head signaling her not to get involved.
“Ima make you look worse than you made me-”
“Are you sure about that? Last time you failed, what makes you think it won’t happen again?”
Chad chuckles and shakes his head.
“You think you’re all that with that equal pay shit, and your racial equality and women loving women crap. Guess what you little bitch I’m going to end you and all those lesbians and gays and anybody else who thinks they deserve equality because you don’t. You don’t belong here. Just go kill-”
You kicked him in his balls, twisted his arm behind his back, and pulled it. When you heard that crack you smirked and leaned down to his ear.
“I don’t wanna embarrass you in front of your racist, sexist, homophobic, buddies, but lemme tell you. You don’t own anybody nor are you superior to anybody. Do I make myself clear?”
He only grunted but you pulled tighter which made him yell out.
“I said, ‘do I make myself clear’?”
“Yes!”
You pushed him on the ground and walked over him to your girlfriend.
“Why in the world would do that? You know what they’re going to do to you. You might not even get invited back to camp!”
“Babe, calm down. I honestly don’t care at this point. And neither should you.”
“(Y/n) (L/n)! My office! Now!”
You gave her a kiss and walked away slowly.
“Wish me luck.”
-
“You seriously got into another fight! What is going on with you!”
It was the first thing you heard when walking into the hotel lobby. Literally everyone was there. From the youngings to the vets. Surprisingly, you were called back to camp, but you honestly think it was just so everyone could scold you. Carli was absolutely livid, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care about anything at the moment since you were so pissed.
Walking past the team, you attempted to make it to the stairs, only for Casey to grab the back of your shirt and pull you back towards the tables. She pushed you down into a seat and took your belongings away from you.
You tried to get back up but you were only pushed down again.
Carli bent down and stared you dead in the eye.
“What is going on with you?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me. What I did was what I intended to do. It was no mistake.”
Alex interrupted, “(Y/n), you don’t understand-”
“No you don’t understand!” You stood abruptly from the chair and slammed your hands on the table. The chair fell and it was absolute silence.
You’d never been so loud. You were always on the quiet side and this was the biggest reaction anyone had ever seen from you.
You were heavily breathing, staring at Carli, the adrenaline pumping through you.
“Did they tell you what he did to me?! Did they tell you what he calls me, my girlfriend and every other female, lgbtq member, or person of color in that school?! No! Because they don’t give a shit. And they won’t give a shit until it’s one of their kids getting hurt!”
There was no dry eye in the room. Your hands were shaking and you took a deep breath to calm down. In a lower voice you spoke.
“They don’t give a damn about my well-being so why should I give a fuck about theirs?”
Taking a few more trembling breaths, you wiped the tears off your face.
“So excuse me for being off for the past few weeks. This shit will take a toll on anybody. And you can cut the bullshit with the ‘don’t fight fire with fire’ cause that’s the only way something gets through those thick ass skulls. They don’t allow you to do it peacefully. They don’t allow you to educate them.”
You looked at Casey with tears in your eyes.
“I just wanna go to school and get an education and be treated like a normal human being. What’s wrong with that?”
Crystal came over to you and caught you before you fell. She lowered you both to the floor as you sobbed your heart out. You kept mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ into her neck between breaths as she rocked you back and forth trying to console you.
Casey and Christen were the next ones over, the latter rubbing your back while the other was trying to wipe away the onslaught of tears on your face.
“Shh, shh baby. You did nothing wrong.”
Soon, every member of the team was crowded around. Tears were streaming down everyone’s face. Their baby, only 16, was going through all this stress and pain. Because of something no one deserves.
You eventually calmed down after 15 more minutes of crying. You’d been transferred to Casey’s lap, and your team mom was trying to comfort you to the best of her ability.
Casey took your face in her hands and wiped all the tears off. “You don’t need to be sorry, alright? There was nothing you did wrong. Stop saying sorry.”
You nodded your head and she kissed your forehead.
Everyone was still crying or wiping waterfalls of tears away.
They watched as you got up and searched frantically for something. You got your phone out of your backpack and turned it on. While you were pacing, the Home Screen popped up and you quickly logged in to text your girlfriend. One, because you always text her when you get to the hotel and two, if Chad and his stickman buddies hurt her, you were absolutely going to lose your shit.
When you logged in to your phone, you saw she already messaged you saying that you should talk to the others.
“Kinda late for that,” you muttered.
“What did you say, hun?” Christen asked.
You just shook your head and texted her back.
Gf: I mean we could always try to talk to the board.
You: Or
You: We could go on strike.
Gf: I-
Gf: I’m done talking to you.
You: wait no! Don’t leave me.
You: I love you
You had a frown on your face when you put your phone away.
Casey pulled you back down into her lap. “What’s with the frown?”
You groaned and threw your head back. “She’s such an asshole. She left me on read!”
The team chuckled, glad to see you was somewhat back to yourself.
Your phone dinged and you pulled it out. She said ‘I love you too, weirdo’
There were a few moments of silence as everyone was thinking of what to do.
“Can we go on strike?”
“No!”
Casey flicked your ear for that.
Tobin spoke up, “Let’s create awareness first. Maybe identify the school board, post all the school’s faults on social media. I don’t know, just some ideas.”
Carli nodded her head. “Look, we’re here for you. For everyone in that school that’s been wronged. We’re gonna help you alright?”
You nodded your head and leaned back onto your team mom.
“And if all else fails, we go on strike.”
“Oh my god.”
—————-
Lowkey think this was trash but eh. I don’t really care at this point but uh this topic is very serious and what I put in here doesn’t even compare to what happens irl.
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charminglatina · 3 years
Text
I’m done with Riverdale.
I gave Riverdale and the writers of this show so many chances to fix their shit. I gave them so many chances to write better storylines, to stop with the repetitive shit, to stop writing the same boring couples every single season, to stop with the character assassination, to stop with the fan service, to try different relationships and refreshing dynamics, to stop destroying characters/couples for the sake of other characters/couples, etc. And the show just continues to let me down over and over and over again. Last night’s episode was the worst episode in Riverdale history. Relationships were destroyed left and right, characters were assassinated and written out of character. Archie was completely OOC in last night’s episode. He was a complete fucking asshole and prick. Archie in no way looked like the hero and protagonist of Riverdale. He didn’t live up to the values, ideals and standards that he claims to have. Instead, he came off as an unsympathetic, emotionless, disgusting, cheating, fickle piece of garbage douchebag. Archie Andrews is no fucking hero and the writers completely destroyed his character within 45 minutes and a single episode. He is irredeemable from my point of view and his character is beyond repair at this point. There is nothing that can fix that mess of a character. His treatment of women in general is disgusting and misogynistic. The way he treated Betty in 5x08 was absolutely abhorrent, degrading and despicable. He acted like he had zero emotions or feelings for her and that he just used her for sex. He then dumps her and runs back to the same toxic relationship with Veronica. Even after seven years, Archie hasn’t changed or grown at all.He’s still the same stupid and immature punk that he was in high school. FUCK ARCHIE ANDREWS. He’s THE WORST main character, lead, and protagonist I’ve ever seen on any show. Not even Elena Gilbert from TVD or Lucas Scott from OTH is as horrible or badly written as he is. Archie is much more of a villain than a hero. There’s nothing that the writers can do to make Archie a good character again. His character is beyond reproach and they should be ashamed to have a piece of shit like Archie leading their show. Veronica is acting like a thirsty, desperate, trampy whore throwing herself at another man while she’s still married and the ink hasn’t even dried on her divorce papers. She has revealed herself to be an extremely controlling, domineering, conniving, money hungry and manipulative bitch. She is so fucking detestable and unlikeable. I can’t root for her character. I actually HATE Veronica now and I never thought I would say that. The writers completely butchered her character just as badly as Archie’s. It’s evident that after five seasons, the writers don’t know what the fuck to do with her character but have her be Hiram’s chew toy or having her constantly chasing after Archie like some pathetic desperate hussy. She’s become the worst character on the show and she has had zero character development. All of her storylines are the same: they either revolve around her father or around men in general. Veronica is a shallow character that lacks complexity and depth. She is nothing more than Hiram Lodge with lipstick and a skirt/dress. As someone who is Latina, Veronica is a horrible representation of Latina and hispanic women in media. Veronica Lodge is an absolute embarrassment to the Hispanic and Latinx community and I’m ashamed of her character at this point. She doesn’t represent me and I don’t want her kind of character to represent my community. RAS and the writers clearly hate Camila Mendes. I can’t say that Camila’s acting is helping matters either. Betty is an emotionally unstable, whiny, pathetic doormat for Archie and a complete fucking emotional mess. She was nothing but a sex toy/booty call for Archie so that he could get his rocks off. As soon as the sex wore off, Archie and no problem with dumping her and throwing her away ;ike a dirty tissue. And Betty didn’t fight for herself. She didn’t fight for her feelings. She didn’t stand up to Archie for disrespecting her like that and using her. Archie used her for pleasure and than acted as if she were nothing to him. And Betty just fucking took it?? Why doesn't Betty just stand up for herself for once? Why doesn’t she stop being such a doormat for him and letting Archie stomp on her feelings all the time? Does she have no self respect? The one thing that makes Betty’s character somewhat salvageble is the fact that Lili Reinhart is an amazing fucking actress and for that, you can’t help but feel sympathy for her even if she’s being written as a pathetic doormat and Archie’s sex toy. Chad is a narcissistic, abusive POS who is Hiram 2.0. What was the purpose of his character on the show? Just to cause some tension between Varchie? What a waste of an actor and character. Jughead is a pathetic drunk and a lazy bum with no purpose. His sole reason for existing is to get drunk every episode, get abducted by aliens and be saved by girls. The writers are ruining my fave character on the show. Kevin is a cheating piece of shit. He has no clue what monogamy is or what a real relationship stands for and means. He’s nothing more than a walking and talking negative gay stereotype. Reggie was completely destroyed this season. They had him turn on his friends and side with Hiram, the town bully. Reggie is a complete douche and any character development he had in the earlier seasons has vanished. The writers butchered his character horribly and it’s a shame because Charles Melton is a decent dude and actor who deserves a better storyline and material. Cheryl is a sociopath with no remorse for her horrible behaviour and she treats Toni like garbage. I don’t know how Toni can stand being with her or around her. She doesn’t give a shit who she hurts in the process as long as she is creating chaos for her own amusement. Cheryl is a horrible person and the fact that she has had no development for hasn’t changed makes things worse. Also, it’s evident that Madeleine Petsch (along with the rest of the cast, LBR), is completely phoning it in all season. Her acting is terrible and cringeworthy. At this point, Cheryl is so awful and toxic that I don't think I want her to be with Toni or for Choni to reunite in the future. Toni deserves better than this red haired creature. Toni is, once again and as usual, being sidelined. I expected this to happen sooner than later. I figured that Toni would be relegated to a support character once more or to go back to being Cheryl’s punching bag. Though Toni being sidelined isn’t really her fault or the writers fault because Vanessa is on maternity leave. As if the characters haven't been destroyed, the relationships have been slaughtered and decimated left and right. Choni is toxic as fuck. Barchie was made out to be nothing of substance but sex (plus the way they got together is sickening including the cheating and the FWB plot line which amounted to nothing in the end). Bughead is an awkward repetitive and annoying bore with no chemistry. Varchie is the worst couple on the show, toxic as hell with no chemistry and takes up too much screen time. Kangs was destroyed for absolutely no reason. The only couple that has potential to be something great and substantial is Jabitha but considering the writers track record, I expect them to ruin them for Bughead. It’s only a matter of time. Tick tock. ⏰ To top it all off, the storylines are absolutely fucking ridiculous this season. Archie with his stupid overblown hero complex trying to save Riverdale? BORING. Hiram being the same boring villain AGAIN and trying to take down the same group of teenagers he was harassing seven years ago? REPETITIVE. The Mothman/Aliens storyline? We’re dealing with fucking ALIENS??? Aliens of all things? What the actual fuck are the writers smoking?! Then there’s the whole Polly storyline which is boring and repetitive.. Try something different for fucks sake. I’m not gonna get into the whole TBK nonsense which also reeks of repetitive storytelling. There's way too many plot lines and storylines being told and it’s a jumbled, incoherent mess. There’s only so much nonsense that you can take before you finally snap and say enough is enough. I’m at that point. For me to cut something or someone out of my life for good, it’s got to be something or someone really horrible. Riverdale is one of those things. Riverdale has made my viewing and fandom experience absolutely fucking miserable. It’s caused me significant upset and emotional distress because of how attached I was to these characters and relationships. Now it seems like it was all a waste. What was the point? Why did I stick around to watch the characters and the relationships on this show get butchered? The writers don’t know what the fuck they are doing. They continue to be stuck in the same rut and a time jump hasn’t fixed that. I’M DONE. There’s no more chances. The show is dead to me as are the Riverdale cast and the writers. The show should just end this season. Season 6 should either be cancelled or shortened to 10 episodes. Stop wasting the audience’s time with this garbage.
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zabiume · 3 years
Note
Seeing your ship post, can I just mention that how much I really hate people ignoring the fact that Orihime and Uryuu are good friends too? Not even in shipping terms, just like they have a very hilarious friendship and you can see Uryuu is constantly puzzled by some of her reactions/actions at times while also always seeming to respect both her physical and mental strength and he just isn't used to being around girls, and on Orihime's end, it is similarly her seeing through the tough act and-
-thinking of him as a kind person as shown by her showing Ichigo that Uryuu helps others out in the sewing club, and in general is the one who wants to believe in him even as early back as him turning down Yoruichi's offer to train with them when Rukia was taken to SS. Idk, it always feels like fandom tends to ignore that Orihime had a lot of reasons to be worried for the guy and viceversa that we see that she is the one who is most (openly) effected by his apparent betrayal while not believing-
 -it, like I like Uryuu being an awkward bean around her while also playing the straight guy to her more out there ideas/actions (good old tsukkomi/boke route) and both being pretty perceptive about each other's feelings to the point at least twice we see Uryuu being the POV character to talk about how Orihime wants to help Ichigo with tying to "he wants Ichigo win for her sake" (even if he also wants him to win in general given the circumstances) added to the fact that for this loner dweeb,
Team Karakura are the closest and most important people to him, to the point his entire body language changes when he clears things up with Ichigo and its clear that they still consider him a friend, it's just frustrating to see it all being boiled down to "Nice Guy Uryuu Deserved Orihime" when it always more felt to me like it was more like Rukia and Ichigo's bond than romantic tbh, if that makes sense? A continuation of Kubo's "I want strong boy-girl friendships within main cast" thingy?
That is not to say I don't find the ship cute, nor would I be against pining on Uryuu's end but maybe it's also bc my aroace ass especially with the ending (if we are not counting him watching Chad's boxer match as ChadIshi) it very much reads as "awkward aroace loner got adopted by a lovely lively group of misfits and he is more than okay with this development even if he wouldn't admit it" but again that's just me. I love these kiddos either way. Sorry for the long ask OTL
Yes! I love platonic Ishida&Orihime, too! I don’t know if you’ve been around this blog before but one of my first ever fics that I wrote has them being weirdos and Good Buds for about 3/4th of it and, recently, I managed to sneak in an Ishi/Hime friendship scene into a Prison AU too because I am nothing if not a fan of platonic pairings! My usual headcanon for Uryu is that he’s either gay/ace but my headcanons often change based on the context, so I like Dramatic Hoe Uryu too. Coming to think about it, I don’t think I’ve written a single fic ever where Uryu is straight LMAO but you don’t get to choose your guilty pleasures and, therefore, I might sometimes read IchiIshiHime and giggle to myself about the drama of it all, it’s all in good fun. I constantly like to play with the pairings within the Karakura gang because those four have such natural chemistry within the group that anything is possible and easy with them! Some of my favorite inter-group dynamics have been Ichigo/Orihime/Uryu and though the last arc was kinda trash, I do love the moments we got that highlighted the friendship between these 3. They’re great.
This blog has always been a Karakura gang stan first, human second, so anything we have to say about the magnificence of that friendship has been said a dozen times here already because I can’t shut up about them and I love those kiddos a lot! Quartet FTW!!
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zackcollins · 4 years
Text
we don’t walk this road alone ch. 4 || pierre-luc dubois
chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || masterlist
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Author’s Note: I’m finally back with chapter four. I’m so sorry for making you guys wait so long. I’ve been so engrossed in Animal Crossing that it’s all I’ve been doing with my free time. I’ve barely spent any time doing other things because I’ve been having too much fun playing Animal Crossing to stop. I’ll try to write more often because I feel bad about making you guys wait so long for this. I hope you aren’t too mad at me. GIF credit to doubleminor!
Warnings: There’s still the pandemic setting, so be aware of that. There’s also a little bit more about Trump because they’re finally getting into the protest. There’s a swear word or two, just in case you need to be aware of that as well.
Word Count: 870 (short boi)
Title: We Don’t Walk This Road Alone by Chad Brownlee
Additional: The reader is still gender-neutral from what I can tell. Just let me know if I accidentally gendered them and I’ll edit this to reflect that. Hope you guys enjoy this and I’m sorry again for making you wait so long. ;-;
The crowd was so large by the time you reached city hall again that you had lost sight of Pierre-Luc. You frantically looked around for him, not wanting to do this alone. In the time you had talked, you had grown somewhat attached to your favourite hockey player. There was just something about Pierre-Luc’s awkwardness and willingness to be upfront with you that drew you in hook, line, and sinker. 
“(Y/N),” someone said. “There you are!”
You turned in the direction you thought it had come from, expecting to find Pierre-Luc. Instead, you found someone walking up to the person next to you. You blinked, chuckled, and shook your head in disbelief. The chances of the person next to you having the same name as you was probably astronomically low. Yet…
“Finally,” a familiar voice said. “(Y/N), I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
This time, when you turned around, Pierre-Luc was standing there. He was holding some more buttons, his sign nowhere in sight. 
You flexed your sign and pointed to Pierre-Luc with one of your fingers. Pierre-Luc quirked an eyebrow as his eyes softened somewhat.
“Someone stole it and ripped it in half,” he said, voice stuck somewhere between annoyed and sympathetic.
You rolled your eyes and shook your head as Pierre-Luc pinned some more buttons to your shirt. When he was done, you looked down and smiled to yourself. One of them was simply Trump’s face in a circle with a line through it. The other two buttons he had pinned were the Black Lives Matter fists coloured to look like the transgender and gay pride flag with the brown and black stripes. 
You nodded when your eyes met Pierre-Luc’s, hoping your eyes conveyed how happy you were. Pierre-Luc nodded back, eyes twinkling in the sunlight. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. The longer you looked, the more of a connection you felt. You felt any stress and apprehension you had been feeling about attending melting away as you watched Pierre-Luc’s soft eyes look at you. The moment was broken when Pierre-Luc was suddenly lurched forward, knocking you both to the ground with him landing on top of you for the second time that afternoon.
“Tabarnak,” Pierre-Luc said, as he carefully stood. “I guess I really do owe you dinner now. I’ve fallen for you twice today.”
With Pierre-Luc standing at your feet, you saw that as ample opportunity to kick his shin. Instead of scolding you, he just chuckled as he grabbed your sign. As you helped yourself up, you made sure to glare at Pierre-Luc with as much viciousness as you could muster. Seeing as he was snorting at you, you guessed you feel well short of the mark. 
“You look cute when you scowl,” Pierre-Luc said as he handed you your sign.
You scoffed and pushed Pierre-Luc backwards by placing a hand on his chest. All Pierre-Luc did was chuckle and shake his head dismissively. 
“You’re a dumbass,” you said, moving slightly to the left. There was supposed to be a scheduled speaker starting her speech in the next ten minutes and you wanted to make sure you could see her at her podium. “You know that, right?”
“I’m well aware,” Pierre-Luc snorted.
You felt him bump shoulders with you. When you looked over to him, he was holding another pair of buttons. You blinked in surprise as Pierre-Luc pinned it to your shirt.
“Where did--”
“I had it in my pocket,” Pierre-Luc interjected. “I wanted to pin it to your shirt before but we were having  a moment. Then someone rudely knocked us over.”
“What’s on it?” 
Pierre-Luc held up the button that he didn’t pin to your shirt, allowing you to inspect it with your eyes. Your eyes went wide as you looked at it and then to Pierre-Luc. He looked somewhat alarmed as he saw the change in your expression.
“Is everything okay?” Pierre-Luc asked, lowering the button and pinning it to his shirt.
“Yeah… that…” you said, trying to find the right words, “that’s fucking brutal.”
Pierre-Luc tilted his head and you assumed he smiled because his facial expression softened. He gave you a thumbs up as he turned his attention towards the podium where the guest speaker would be appearing in the next few minutes.
You shook your head in an attempt to gather yourself. Pierre-Luc looked over at you briefly. Not wanting to alarm him, you gave a quick thumbs up. He seemed to accept your gesture because he returned it before turning back to look at the podium.
As the guest speaker arrived to stand behind the podium, the words on the button were bouncing around in your head. They were distracting you from whatever was being said as the introduction to the speech. You could distantly register that someone was speaking but all that was registering in your brain was the words that you had seen on that button. You looked down at your shirt to see if what you had seen was, in fact, what you had seen. When it was abundantly clear that you hadn’t hallucinated the words, you sighed and shook your head.
America Was Never Great would be burned into your brain for the rest of time and there was nothing you could do about it.
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thegrimzuera · 3 years
Text
Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down into a real-life, real BAD fanfic.
So for the sake of privacy, we’ll say that my name is Zoe. I was raised in heteronormative, Midwestern suburbia. Now for the most part I adore my family and I loved my childhood, but in this case it did not work to my advantage. You see, nobody ever told me I could be gay. Just slipped their minds, I guess. Oops? So for most of my adolescence I walked around like a chump, thinking I was straight. I mean, straight people, you do you! It just didn’t work for me. That in and of itself is Bad Fanfic Trope #1.
I dated this guy on and off throughout high school. We’ll call him Chad. I liked Chad quite a bit. He was nerdy and we had nice conversations. For some reason we just couldn’t click well enough to maintain our relationship long enough that it became permanent (hint: because I was GAY...!). Honestly, we don’t even need to dwell on Chad that much. He’d be the least important part of this story if it weren’t for the fact that during one of our “off again” phases, he met and fell right in love with a person who we’ll dub Sarah.
Here’s where it gets juicy.
Now I’d never met her, but everyone said that Sarah was just like me—but cooler. We were both cute little emo girls, we both liked anime and weird music, and we both for some unknown reason liked Chad. Sarah also had this really amazing accent because she had moved to the states from Wales. All of Chad’s friends called her “British Zoe.” Come to think of it, that title made me a little bitter towards Sarah, and if Sarah ever heard about it, it may have contributed to her feeling bitter towards me too. Of course, being directed to compete over Chad didn’t help.
So Chad dated Sarah for a while, but it was fine, because Chad and I were going to stay friends like the mature 18-year-olds we were. Even though I was still insanely jealous of this mysterious and unattainably cool Sarah person. It was during this time that I figured I liked girls (and boys, I still thought) and as I was toying with the idea of telling Chad about my newly discovered bisexuality, he informed me that Sarah had also come out as bi. Interesting, isn’t it? 👀
I had the opportunity to meet Sarah once. We all went to an anime convention together, and I distinctly remember taking a deep breath beforehand and deciding that this was the day Sarah and I would become friends. There was no need for me to be jealous! If she was as cool as everyone said, then imagine how great a friendship would be. But I was shy. And she was shy. And we had all that baggage between us. I went home that day feeling alienated and disappointed.
Now things began to get messy, because conflicting feelings often do that. I’ll spare you the ugly details, but tell you that my friendship with Chad ended quite abruptly when I discovered that he’d been juggling both Sarah and I romantically at the same time. So I split, made a life for myself 50 miles away, and that was that.
Except it wasn’t. Fast forward about six years—one marriage, one child, one mental breakdown and revelation, and a divorce later. I moved back to my hometown, and one night I walked down the winter streets on the East side with a good friend of mine. I didn’t often come to these parts because I was raised on the opposite side of the city and it was unfamiliar to me. This was actually the first time I’d been here in about...hmm, six years? But one coincidence is all it takes I suppose.
As we walked along, I happened to glance into the front window of a restaurant just off the sidewalk. I had to do a double take, because there was no way that after six years and only one meeting I would immediately recognize...Sarah? Also Chad 😒 I did not say hello. I didn’t know what to do at all! After a mini meltdown, I decided that the best thing I could do was to reach out to Chad on social media.
In truth, I’d wished over the years that I could repair my friendship with Chad—wished that things had played out differently. If we all hadn’t been so dumb, maybe I wouldn’t have lost that friendship. To my great surprise, Chad was very friendly when I reached out. We arranged a time to meet up for coffee, and for several hours we talked and reconciled everything that had happened. We caught up on life, and Chad said that I should hang out with him and his friends—and Sarah—sometime.
I remember the first time I got to spend time with Sarah. It was shortly after that first coffee that Chad, Sarah, and I went to a local pinball bar to play and have drinks. We got together to play board games and have dinner around that time as well. In both instances, I was floored by Sarah’s kindness to me. Despite both of us being rather quiet by nature, we had easy conversation. I also remember feeling like such a dork in comparison. Me and my carefully curated outfits and sculpted hair were overdone and pretentious when compared to Sarah’s shaved head and relaxed wardrobe of black tank tops and some of the coolest pants I’ve ever seen. It was all so effortless for her.
Damn, I wanted so badly to be her friend! Chad kept encouraging me that Sarah thought I was really cool too, but I just didn’t believe it. When I learned that Chad would be moving out of state, I realized I had to stake my claim on Sarah’s friendship fast.
We all got together at Sarah’s new apartment for potentially one last time. Merely stepping foot into this place had my desire to be a part of Sarah’s world skyrocketing. The apartment sat on the East side of town, less than a hundred feet from the very restaurant window where I’d first saw her. It was on the upper level of an old, hipster coffee shop for goodness sake. If I didn’t want to be friends with Sarah just to be friends with her, I certainly wanted to For The Aesthetic.
That night I also met the person we’ll call Katie. This was Sarah’s new roommate. I could just tell as we interacted that evening that something good would come of this. At least, I hoped so. I largely contribute my lasting friendship with Sarah to Katie’s presence, because Katie has such a way about them. They can take even the most shy and awkward folks like me and get them laughing like fools. A little alcohol may have helped as well.
I lamented that night about how lonely I had been, and I did so out loud. That really should be embarrassing, but I’m nothing but grateful for my clumsy and pathetic tongue, because it allowed Sarah to open her mouth and invite me into her life.
“You can be my friend,” she offered earnestly. “Once Chad leaves I won’t really know what to do with myself, so you’re welcome here any time. I mean it!”
And hot damn, was I going to take her up on that. I came home that night absolutely elated. I had found a place to belong. I wrote songs and poetry about how happy I was. I told my parents how happy I was. I had never felt so hopeful, right down to the tips of my fingers. Flowers could have grown straight from my chest that night.
A week or so later, I had plans to have dinner with Sarah, Katie, and another friend of theirs, Rose. I was growing connections. That was also the week that I discovered Sarah and Chad had broke up because of some deeply rooted trash-bag tendencies he’d been revealed to have. We won’t go into that, but Chad was out of the picture, and somehow that raised the stakes. I had no training wheels now, not even in the form of an out-of-state buddy who could encourage me that Sarah truly did want my friendship.
Fortunately, what came to be on that evening with the three almost-strangers was the beginnings of the most instantaneous, wild, and addictive friendship of my life. We talked about everything. We discussed heartbreak, joy, pain, existence as a whole. We sat on a rooftop deck and gazed at the stars, and we immediately planned a get together for the following night where we would meet Lena and Emma, and our core group of instant best friends would be complete.
I can only describe this friendship as a whirlwind romance. These were the true loves of my life, and it had all started with laying eyes on Sarah by means of coincidence or fate that night in the winter—after years of tension and competition! Talk about an Enemies to Friends arc.
But I’m not even done yet.
As I mentioned, our little group became inseparable. We spent all of our time together and poured more energy into our friendship than I had ever given or been given by another adult person. I learned that these people were the coolest to ever exist, and that they thought I was cool too. I finally l believed it, because they wouldn’t allow me to doubt. This was a fierce love.
For some reason, with all this fierce love, I always found myself dying to get closer to Sarah. Closer and closer yet. I also felt particularly protective of my friendship with her. I think this had everything to do with the fact that our friendship was so ill-fated and had been thwarted many times before. I promised myself that I would never let anything or anyone come between us. Sarah was my number one concern.
You can see where this was going.
Bad Fanfic Trope #2: Enemies to Friends [to Lovers]
Now let me just take a pause in our literary journey to tell you some of the reasons I fell for Sarah. Consider this a montage of sorts:
For being a very shy, very introverted person, Sarah lives loudly. She’s the one to show up in the most fabulous, effortlessly cool outfit you’ve ever seen. We once went on a walk to the park with mine and Emma’s kids—Sarah wore black leather hammer pants. She has about ten thousand pairs of black boots, each one unique and quietly elaborate. She just exists this way, never looking like she tries too hard or had to even put thought into her appearance. She just is.
Sarah also loves to dance. And she’s good at it. This was another thing that surprised me, I suppose because I figured that as a self-proclaimed awkward person like myself, she would be too timid to dance. But Sarah can and will dance to anything. Sarah will dance in silence. Sarah also knows and loves every song known to humankind. I’m talking tens of thousands of songs—she knows the lyrics, the albums, the artists, and probably the life stories of said artists.
Sarah is an artist herself. She draws, paints, and does pottery. For my birthday, she threw me the first party I’d had since my absolute failure of a sweet sixteen (in and around eight years prior), baked me the most delicious lavender cupcakes I’ve ever tasted (oh yes! Sarah also is a master in the kitchen!), and gave me the coolest, trippiest, handmade cup. It is my favorite cup. I would probably murder if this cup asked me to.
Most importantly, Sarah is the most kind, gracious, emotionally intelligent person I know. I’ve always been astounded by her ability to forget our past and extend such grace to me. Despite the way we met, she welcomed me into her life. She’s always the first one to check in not just on me, but on all of our friends and even people who have wronged her to be sure that we are all okay. Sarah understands people. She understands feelings and can express them so beautifully when she’s actually given the chance.
We’ve done the whole nine yards over the last year since we met (er, met again). I’m talking midnight kisses, bed sharing, romantic dinners, slow dancing, regular dancing. The problem was in figuring out if it meant anything, because when all your friends are gay, this sort of thing can be confusing.
Nobody told me to feel this way. A smart person would have told me not to. A smart me would have listened. But I love the feeling of falling, so I allowed it. I allowed it and clung to it. It actually happened quite fast. Sarah and I have always been honest with each other; it was something I prioritized due to our rocky beginning. So, when I realized my feelings for her, I wasted no time in asking her on a date.
Sarah said yes, but she also told me she wasn’t sure where she wanted this to go or if she was ready for anything serious. Her relationship with the trash bag had left her pretty severely wounded, and she was understandably still healing from that. And so together we agreed that this would be a date without expectation.
Sarah also told me that she’d never been on a proper date before. Trash bag had never bothered to do that. This was just more motivation to make this a good date. Not to pat myself on the back too hard, but I did a great job. I am good at treating people right. We went axe throwing (yes, very gay, I know), and then had dinner and drinks.
All seemed well, I was happy, she was happy. But, since we agreed that it was a casual date, I didn’t want to apply any pressure by asking her out again too quickly. So I waited and tried to play my hand wisely.
Now during this time, COVID cases were on the rise in my area and in the rest of the country. Hangouts in our tiny group had been easy and safe up until this point because of the nice summer weather and Sarah’s outdoor, rooftop deck where we usually would gather. Winter in the Midwest, however, made that impossible.
Now I thought I might lose my mind if I couldn’t see my people for the entire winter. Fortunately, Sarah asked me to be her “plus one” of sorts—each of the roommates in her apartment got to choose one. Katie chose their partner, and the third roommate in the apartment chose his partner. Sarah chose me.
I say again, you can see where this is going.
Sarah confessed to me that she felt lonely and jealous of her roommates romantic lives. They had partners, she didn’t. They were in love, she wasn’t. But here I was.
Bad Fanfic Trope #3: Fake Dating AU
Now I know what you’re thinking. Why would I do this? Why would Sarah do this? Why, Zoe? Why?
Emotions are a very persuasive bastard, I’ll tell you that. Besides, it made Sarah happy, and I got to go over to my favorite apartment with my favorite person. We actually spent quite a lot of time together in this days.
One particularly magical night for me was the walk we took around a local college campus. This was near Christmastime, so the surrounding houses were all lit up with colored lights and the atmosphere just hit different. Even being out in the open, it felt intimate. We came across the most oddly placed bus stop in the parking lot. Truly it was an island out at sea—it just looked like it didn’t belong there, a little glass building with citrus light leaking out of it.
“That’s a portal,” Sarah joked, spotting it at the same time as me.
I laughed, but I was actually serious when I asked her, “Should we go through?”
So we did. We ventured to the middle of the lot and entered in the left-side door. The inside felt even more otherworldly, and I’m still not convinced that something supernatural wasn’t going on there. But we giggled like kids and imitated the sounds of machine and tearing space-time, and then we stepped out the right-side door.
I’m pretty sure that was the night I knew I was totally fucked. Up until then things had been pretty manageable, feelingswise. But everything about that evening just pumped me up with hope and adrenaline, and whether things went up or downhill from there is kind of hard to tell.
Things really were good! I got to dress up for mini, COVID safe parties and dance in the living room. I got to sleep over on movie nights. I had already been living out my fanfiction dreams to the tune of Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift for the last several months, so what was a few more?
Actually, it was quite painful. I say this was a fake dating AU, but I think I was the only one being fooled—and maybe Sarah too on some level. We didn’t really mean for it to happen this way. I didn’t mean to be the person who couldn’t control her feelings, and Sarah didn’t mean to be the one who led me on. We were supposed to be having fun—and it was fun. Until it wasn’t.
See, holding back your own feelings can be miserable. It’s fun in the moment until you come home to an empty bed and know that nobody will be joining you. It’s fun until you’re reading into every text message and searching for a hidden meaning. Everything somehow felt perfectly aligned and all out of sorts at once.
When I decided I couldn’t take the wondering anymore, I asked Sarah for the chance to talk. She of course said yes, and so we agreed that we’d find some alone time at our next get-together. This happened to be our jazz night party, and Damn, did Sarah look good on jazz night.
We’d had themed parties before, but Sarah really outdid herself this time. She’d taken the lead on this party, and when I walked in I found the entire apartment transformed. The living room furniture had been pushed back to make room for dancing, and the kitchen cart was rolled in as a makeshift bar. The plush bench from the entryway sat in front of a strung-up tapestry as a photo station, and the flat screen was adorned with some sort of “jazz club ambience” from YouTube.
Sarah herself looked like something straight out of the Great Gatsby. I’ll spare you the details because I’m trying not to be too cringe-inducing here, but she was striking and perfectly on theme. I’m pretty sure I looked like a grunge gremlin in comparison, but that’s neither here nor there.
I told her how lovely she looked when I arrived, and truthfully I couldn’t tell if she was the one being awkward or I was. It could have been both, in hindsight, but considering how things went it doesn’t really matter.
It was difficult to focus on the absolute beauty of the party when my hands were trembling and all I could think of was the upcoming talk of be having with Sarah. I didn’t want to look at her too long in case everything went wrong and she didn’t want my eyes on her, but she also looked gorgeous and cool, and she was making us drinks like a real bartender. This was the time of her life, I could tell.
Everyone else was having a good time too. Katie and their partner were two peas in a pod. And Adam (third roommate, thus far unnamed) and his partner seemed pretty much in sappy, romance heaven. It hadn’t been a problem before, but suddenly I wasn’t sure where I fit into this unique equation.
When slow songs came on through the playlist, the couples wrapped their arms around each other and looked fondly into each other’s eyes. Sarah and I danced, but not too close, and I definitely couldn’t meet her eyes right now. It just didn’t feel the same.
We finally managed to get some privacy when the others went on a Taco Bell run. I mentally went over my talking points and tried to prepare myself for what seemed like the most predictable outcome. I would make sure that Sarah felt no pressure with me, because that truly was the last thing I wanted. I would also make my intentions clear—I’d love to go out on more dates with you and just see if there could ever be something between us. Easy as that. I didn’t expect that she would confess her true and undying love for me (I tried not to expect anything really), but a large part of me figured she would at the very least agree to a date or two for the sake of discovery, and maybe she’d even be excited about it. It just made sense to me.
But, even as I was beginning to express my feelings, I could tell the direction this was going. Sarah smiled and said she also felt like we probably needed to talk, and that I was really brave for bringing this up—braver than her, she said. What followed was the kindest, most gentle letting down of my life. Really, she couldn’t have handled that conversation any better.
There were a number of reasons for her decision to turn me down. For one thing, she didn’t want to risk our friendship. We were already so close, and as she’d expressed before, she didn’t want to rush into any serious relationships right now. 100% reasonable. And, it kind of did make sense. It would have been difficult not to become serious very quickly considering how close we were. On top of not wanting to risk our friendship and not wanting anything serious, I suspected that she simply didn’t feel the same way.
At the end of it all, Sarah asked me if I needed some space to process, or if I wanted her to step out of the apartment for a while. That’s right, Sarah literally volunteered to leave her own home during her own party to make me comfortable. I of course told her that was ridiculous and did my best to carry on normally. I wanted to be cool about it for both of our sake. Alas, I ended up making multiple trips to the bathroom for secret crying sessions, and eventually I ducked out early so that I could cry peacefully in my car—and my bed, and my shower, and everywhere else for the next few days.
Yikes. Funny how it hadn’t even hit me until that moment that I’d been making the very same dumb mistakes I read about all the time on AO3. I filled myself up with hope that wasn’t there and nearly ruined everything because of it.
I tried moving on without much luck. I tried remaining friends with moderate success. Perhaps that’s being too pessimistic. Honestly, my friendship with Sarah is stronger than ever. It’s just that almost two months after Jazz Night I finally had to have another talk with Sarah—one where I confessed how hurt I’d been over the whole ordeal. I apologized for my mishandling of the situation, and she apologized for hers. Honestly, we both had a good idea of what we’d been getting ourselves into at the start of it, but we did it anyway.
Am I over Sarah? Not if I’m being honest. But my priority has been and will always be protecting our friendship, and I think she’s on the same page as me there. I hang out with both her and Katie routinely, and I’m doing everything in my power to fix this. I don’t think it’s as big a deal for Sarah as it is me in that she doesn’t have to alter her feelings. I don’t want her to change her behavior either—because our amazing friendship is why I fell for her, she didn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable.
So we’re carrying on. I guess this is an ongoing story, but the fake-dating part is over as are the fanfiction tropes that seem to have overtaken my life for a hot minute. I just thought it was so interesting—interesting enough to share I suppose.
(Honestly part of me things this would make a good story if I went back and documented these events in more detail—like, I dunno, multiple chapters or something idk. If anyone got this far and would be interested in that lemme know. It’s my real life but for once that’s actually quite interesting.)
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tisfan · 4 years
Text
(I can) Brew this all Day
Title (I Can) Brew this all Day Link https://archiveofourown.org/works/24408346/chapters/58881478 Square Filled C5: Bucky/Wanda Ship/Main Pairing Bucky/Wanda Rating Teen Major Tags/Triggers/Warnings none Summary Wanda works at a coffee shop. Clint does not understand why she’s crushing on a patron. Word Count 1559
for @buckybarnesbingo and @livewire28
“You’re a fright,” Steve complained as she walked in through the employee entrance at Brew This All Day coffee. “Did someone throw a bucket of water at you?”
“It’s raining,” Wanda said, scowling. She knew her hair looked terrible, practically plastered to her head. She’d had an umbrella when she left for work, but it had gotten snatched up by the wind and by the time she chased it down, it didn’t seem to matter. She was already soaked through. 
Usually, she kept a spare dress in her work-locker for just such occasions, but she’d had to wear one last week when a customer did a “prank” and chucked an extra large frozen drink at her (with extra whip) so he could film it for his YouTube channel.
Steve had put him on the not-welcome-back list, but it probably didn’t matter. She was sure that the asshole had gotten fifty million hits or whatever and collected his cash from YouTube and he’d go around the rest of the city doing it to other baristas.
Whatever. She was going to have to work in a cold, wet dress and soaking shoes today and her hair was a mess.
“Your boy’s here,” Clint added. “I mean, I don’t get it. I can’t look at a customer without feeling contempt, so the idea of flirting with them really just-- they’re customers, therefore, idiots.”
“You’re an idiot,” Wanda said, trying suddenly not to throw up with nerves.
Not that it mattered. The cute guy who came to Brew This to study wasn’t going to ask her out any more than the hot guy who came in at odd hours of the night (Brew This All Day was one of the few coffee shops that was decent and open twenty-four hours a day) was going to ask out Steve, no matter how many longing looks Steve directed at that guy’s ass when he left the shop.
Customers might all be idiots, but they often didn’t even see servers unless they made a mistake. And even when that happened, servers weren’t… people. Not really.
Even the guys that flirted with her didn’t see her as a human being; someone to date and enjoy their company. They saw her as a conquest or a cheap, easy lay.
So it didn’t matter that she looked terrible, like a drowned rat, and that her clothes were going to wrinkle and be clammy and nasty all day.
He was just a decoration.
Someone with a perfect face and amazing shoulders and lovely hair.
A work of art.
And as untouchable as the same.
“Oh, my god,” Natasha said, uncoiling herself from behind the desk in the manager’s office. Technically, Nat was the shift lead, but Steve mostly had her doing the books because she was better at it than Steve was. She also set all the schedules, approved vacation time, and worked shifts when other people were sick.
Thus, not someone you wanted to be on the wrong side of.
“You look like you’re gonna puke,” Nat said. “Come here, change shirts with me.” Nat tugged off her scoop-necked black shirt with red accents, completely unphased by the way Clint stared and Steve turned around, the back of his neck going brick red. Nat had no body-shame, along with everything else.
Not that she had any reason to have it. She was quite attractive. 
Wanda took the proffered shirt, but went behind the door to change, giving Nat her damp dress in return. So, now she was in Nat’s too tight, too short top. And leggings.
Well, she might not look better, but at least she wasn’t soaked.
Nat rolled her eyes at Wanda’s shirt and grabbed one of the tees with the shop’s logo on it. Technically, employees got a 50% discount off all shop merch, but even at half off, Wanda couldn’t really afford a new shirt right now.
She wondered if Nat could, or if she was just going to count the peep show as part of her compensation.
“Get on the clock, witchy,” Clint said. “I want to get the hell out of here.”
“Remind me why I pay you again?” Steve mused, scratching his chin.
Wanda didn’t stick around to watch the rest of the argument; she’d heard that particular song-and-dance a dozen times before.
Steve was, actually, a good boss. He paid at least fifteen dollars an hour -- as soon as Seattle had instituted that as minimum wage, he was right there behind it. Also, he let them keep all their tips and didn’t cut himself in on it, even if he worked a shift behind the machines.
As advertised, the hot guy was at his usual table; she could see him almost the whole time she was working, except when she was directly pulling a shot. Probably for the best, since she needed to pay attention to the steamer and not to the daytime television god who drank caramel lattes with extra whip while he studied from a pile of books.
Wanda thought he was planning to be a social worker, or something. She had trouble talking to people outside of actual work interactions, even on the best of days, and when dazzled by the man’s eyes, she barely remembered to ask his name to put it on the cup.
Worst, he never said his name. He sometimes used initials (JB) but mostly he used a series of jokes. Manchurian Candidate, Winter Soldier, Special Snowflake. (She particularly liked that last one, which he used when there was an entire cadre of bro-ristas in the shop, the kind of guys who liked to lean on their privilege and tell Wanda that she had no idea how to make coffee. People talked about Karens in their Target, but she thought those friends of hers could use an afternoon with a coffee-house Chad and see which one was worse. Those guys had looked up to mock the person calling themselves Snowflake, taken one look at JB’s body-builder physique and shut the fuck up. It had been great.)
Fortunately, there wasn’t much of a line; just before lunch when her shift started tended to be dead, aside from the occasional harried looking mom, or the perpetual student.
She checked the house pot, found it relatively fresh. The pastry cabinet was well stocked. She counted out her drawer, signed in. Watched JB from the corner of her eye. He looked up as she came into the room, smiled, and then went back to scowling at his papers and books and computer.
She did a round of the floor, picked up a few stray napkins and straw papers, wiped down the tables. 
“Get you a refill?” she chirped, just like he was any other customer.
“Oh, would you?” JB asked, sounding like she’d offered a drowning man a lifeline.
“Sure, what are you drinking today?”
“Double-double,” JB said. “I’ve got an exam in--” he checked his watch, “three hours.”
“Sounds fun,” Wanda said. “I have a short shift today, I’m off in six hours.”
JB looked up at her, eyes going wide. “Are--”
“I mean, are-- if you-- just saying--”
“Are you asking me out on a post-exam date?” The only thing good about the entire situation is that he seemed just as flustered and embarrassed as she did. And he hadn’t immediately told her he was in a relationship. Or gay.
“I mean-- if you wanted to, then, you know. Yes?” Wanda waved her hands around, wondering if a convenient hole would ever open up in the ground and swallow her. No such luck.
“Yeah, then, sure,” JB said. “I, yeah. I’ll either want to celebrate. This is my last exam before I get my degree, fingers crossed--” Wanda dutifully crossed her fingers for him “-- or I’ll want to drown myself in beer if it goes badly. In either case, company would be nice.”
“Yeah,” Wanda said. “Okay. We’ll do that, then. You can pick me up here, the red line’s just up the road, go anywhere you want.”
“Sure thing,” JB said. He jotted something down on a paper napkin-- when he handed it to her, it was a phone number. “Text me in a bit, then I’ll have your number and you’ll have mine. Just-- just in case.”
Wanda nodded.
She took the napkin, went back and got his double-double, and then got caught up in an entire busload of tourists from Maryland, none of whom had been in a coffee shop that wasn’t Dunkin’ Donuts or Starbucks in their life, and by the time she texted him, he was already gone to his exam.
Just sitting down. Wish me luck.
Wanda debated her list of emojis for a bit, and then sent him a snowflake, a four leaf clover, thumbs up, and several coffee and tea cups. Waited a few minutes, then sent a wine glass, a plate, and an OK.
OK Wine
“Somebody’s happy,” Steve commented, looking at her beaming at her phone.
“I have a date,” Wanda said.
“With Snowflake?”
“Yeah?”
“Good for you. Guess I owe Nat twenty dollars.”
“Why?”
“I bet that I’d ask Tony out before you’d get up the nerve to ask JB.”
“So, uh. You don’t happen to know his actual name, do you?”
Steve just laughed and walked away.
Awkward.
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that-shamrock-vibe · 4 years
Text
Nostalgia Review: High School Musical
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Disclaimer: So because this is a nostalgia review and will focus on a movie that came out 14 years ago I cannot put forward a spoiler warning, but if you still for some reason haven’t seen the first High School Musical movie then don’t read on until you have.
Original Thoughts:
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I can remember when High School Musical first aired on Disney Channel and the hype around it building up to that release. Disney’s PR team did a great job with the advertising and selling it for what it was which was a musical set in a high school and the theme of challenging stereotypes.
I had just turned 14 at the time this movie was released here in the U.K. and I can remember mine and my sister’s social group, which were basically the kids living on our street, were into the hype and were there for it. But like most of the world that hype seemed to die off between the first and second movies where it then became uncool to like the franchise.
I will never forget the premiere of the movie on Disney Channel though, I can remember it as me, my sister and our friends sat in my mum’s living room, singing along to the songs and just generally enjoying the vibe of the movie.
I didn’t know Kenny Ortega’s work prior to seeing High School Musical so for me this was my gateway movie into his work, which has definitely paid off over the years.
I’m a big musical fan anyway and prior to me coming out it was I guess an early indicator to my family that I am who I am. But there’s something about musicals for me that when they’re done right and know the audience they are attracting that do have that magic and power behind them that Ms. Darbys does so often talk about in the movie.
As a movie, it was very much a guilty pleasure for me both because of the stigma of it being “uncool” to like it but also because it was very cheesy and at the time I was very much about not being made fun of anymore than I already was for my weight or my personality.
How I Feel Now:
14 years later and what I have come to realise is not only was High School Musical a gateway movie into the works of Kenny Ortega, but also helped me figure out who I was both in terms of my sexuality and my personality.
This movie didn’t help me come out or anything because again I was 14 when I first watched it and I came out publicly when I was 19, but I do think it made my mum and sister potentially realise it and so softened the reveal five years later.
Not only was the musical side of things leaning towards that but also, because this was the first time seeing Zac Efron in anything, it also sparked that side of fondness for it.
It’s also been interesting to see what a landmark movie High School Musical has been not just culturally but also for Disney and Disney Channel simultaneously. Of course there is the message of this movie which is breaking the status quo but also I believe this is the first Disney Channel Original Movie to be a franchise outside of simply a movie trilogy. There’s the books, there’s the soundtracks, the spin-off series.
High School Musical also helped either launch careers or at least hone in-house talent. I mean Zac Efron is clearly the breakout star of the franchise given his career of late but there’s also Ashley Tisdale or had The Suite Life franchise simultaneously to this and Vanessa Hudgens who hasn’t quite had the mainstream career as the other two but is still known for the franchise.
I chose to do this review because I randomly decided to watch the movie on Disney+ after a month of continuously bad things happening and just needing to have some light harmless entertainment because that is what this movie is. It’s light-hearted, it’s cheesy and if you both accept and embrace that it’s a great feel good movie.
Story:
So as well as being cast as a musical, for some reason some sites class it as a rom-com which I get and I don’t because the romance between Troy and Gabriella is very much underplayed despite the fact you know from the first moment you see these two that they are going to end up together.
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I did like how the movie really did challenge the sterotypical high school clique system and how for American high schools particularly in the noughties that the hierarchy of the student-body was determined by who was in these cliques. For example, the jocks are at the top of that tower because they’re the ones that  traditionally bring fame and acclaim to the school as sports is apparently the be all and end all, then there’s the drama geeks, the brainiacs etc.
So when a jock and a brainiac discover they have a passion for singing and decide to audition for the winter musical, they risk blowing apart the entire status quo of East High and risking the wrath of drama queen Sharpay Evans.
These days this type of movie and theme is very overdone, but back in 2006 when the movie first aired it was still fresh and the manner in which it was played out through the high school setting in musical form was rather entertaining.
Unlike most movies this wasn’t a straightforward hero/villain story and instead had two main protagonists in Troy and Gabriella and one main fantastic antagonist in Sharpay Evans who is every bit the realistic high school drama queen as she is supposed to be and I live for it.
The moral of being true to yourself as opposed to being what everyone expects you to be is again rather overdone but high school is for discovering who you are in those formative years so the moral and theme at least feels organic.
Characters:
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Alright so when I first saw the movie 14 years ago my favourite character was Ryan, Sharpay’s brother because I identified him in terms of style. He has as many hats as I do bow ties and the fact it has recently been either hinted at or confirmed that he was always intended to be a gay character it feels right that despite the franchise never makes such a big deal out of it, he has all the stereotypical traits of what could be deemed a high school gay male who either has or hasn’t come out yet.
Because The Suite Life of Zack and Cody had already been out for a year by the time this movie aired, I already knew of Ashley Tisdale’s range from being Maddie in that, so to make her the drama queen antagonist was an interesting change of pace but at least showed diversity in her character and actually proved she could play both Maddie and London but be convincing as both.
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As for Troy and Gabriella, their relationship was rather cute and the fact they both helped break down each other’s walls in terms of Troy realising he can be both a basketball star and a singer and Gabriella coming out of her timid awkward shell was just enjoyable to see. Relationships don’t always have to be about romance and I am glad that this movie took the time to explore how high school relationships can start without that because, as discovered by the viewing of the next movie, Troy and Gabriella do not kiss until the end of High School Musical 2.
Chad and Taylor make up the six core characters but honestly I see them more as supporting to the core four characters than I do main characters. Chad as Troy’s best friend and Taylor as Gabriella’s does service more as catalysts for the plot rather than fully fleshed characters does lean more towards the supporting than the main characters.
In terms of actual supporting players though I loved them, if I had Ms. Darbys teaching drama at my school I would have signed up a lot more, her dynamic rivalry with Coach Bolton/Troy’s dad served as the foundation of the jock/drama rivalry at East High and I enjoyed every minute of it.
Kelsey the composer was great with the dry humour in the movie particularly when dealing with Sharpay and Ryan’s divaisms.
Songs:
My favourite songs in this movie on rewatch were “When There Was Me and You” and “Start of Something New” just because they weren’t as overplayed as “Breaking Free” and “Get Your Head In The Game”, I’m also a fan of the slower ballads as well as the power ballads which these movies don’t have.
I do like a good uptempo show tune though, but “What I’ve Been Looking For” is the perfect example of too much. Also “Stick to the Status Quo” was a good example of uptempo but everyone sing-speaking confessions was a little bit too much for me.
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As for the ending showstopper of “We’re All In This Together”, it’s cheesy, it’s somewhat over the top and as someone who has done a lip sync group dance routine to it, I do have a soft spot for it.
Final Thoughts:
Before recently watching it I cannot quite remember the last time I did give it a rewatch, I know I used to own the DVD but since getting Disney+ back in February/March it has been on my radar to revisit and I am glad I did.
It’s by no means one of the best musicals out there but it is one of the better Disney Channel Original Movies and it’s easy Sunday afternoon viewing when you want to block out the world.
So that’s my review of High School Musical, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out other Nostalgia Reviews as well as other Movie Reviews and posts.
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ninaahelvar · 5 years
Text
Chivalry Fell On Its Sword (9/23)
Summary: All Arya wanted so to feel normal and go outside of the damn castle. Now, through a series of unfortunate, she’s stuck with a bodyguard that she accidentally flirted with: Gendry Waters.
AO3
A/N: what? two chapters in one week! well one is a joke chapter, we get productive. i'm only here for the laughs. xx and i did promise slam poetry so,.......
10:31pm - Arya: So, what youre saying is that you were awkward cause you could see through my blanket? 
10:32pm - Gendry: dude, your nipples were showing through it, it was a turn on and then because incredibly awkward when your fucking mum walked in.
10:32pm - Arya: and everything else?
10:32pm - Gendry: fucked up universe keeping us apart, sorry
10:33pm - Arya: awwww you’re so cute when you’re desperate 
10:33pm - Gendry: i don’t think you’re allowed to complain when you fucking yell at me in a hallway begging me for an answer for something i wasn’t intentionally doing 
10:33pm - Arya: i stand by my reaction 
10:33pm - Gendry: ok then 
10:33pm - Arya: alright 
10:35pm - Arya: soooooooooooooo
10:35pm - Arya: you still in the palace? 
10:37pm - Gendry: You’re seriously horny right now? 
10:37pm - Arya: aren’t you 
10:38pm - Gendry: literally always, but i’m still in my meeting 
10:38pm - Arya: i’ll send you nudes to keep your spirits up 
10:42pm - Gendry: pls for the love of the gods, don’t, cause my spirits won’t be the only thing that’s up 
Arya chew on her lip as she read over his name. His apology. His casual confession of love. And she beamed. 
10:43pm - Gendry: can i see you later? 
10:43pm - Arya: yes
~~~~
Bran wheeled up to the stage, a few stares and whispers as one of the wheels caught on the last step. In the end, the manager of the club and a few bystanders had to help him. It wasn’t embarrassing, just a little awkward to have three grown men fondling his chair and not him. 
He had invited Arya, who happened to bring along Gendry - funny how her security followed her absolutely everywhere, but Bran wasn’t. He thought it may have been some ableist crap, but when he saw Arya’s hand on his wrist as Bran edged towards the mic it was clear what the real reason was. Also the hickey on his neck was a dead give away. 
Bran cleared his throat and Arya and Gendry stopped speaking. The open mic night was his idea. Bran had worked up this plan for a while, knowing full well he could get away with it - but now he was here, and only confidence and determination ran through him. Chaos wheeling - if you will. He took a breath, then spoke into the mic. 
“I’m a theology major, I can take confession, even with this wheelchair condition. My legs stopped working when the car flipped, now it seems like I’m the one that’s dicked. I make light of the frame that holds me, even when it’s the thing that has made me lonely. I smile and wave, even when no one thinks I’m gay. The wheels tend to avert the eyes, even when I wanna talk to guys. I hear sympathy from women across the world, but I can still make your world whirl. I don’t wanna talk about how the chair feels or what kind of drink I want with my meal - I’m a grown ass man, a man that just can’t stand. I’m filled with love and wanting, and I’m a fun guy that deserves some flaunting. I’m a theology major, I can take confession. And yes, to answer your question, my dick does work, and I have a suggestion. Either mind your business, apologise for the transgression. Or date me, I can still fuck, no repression, in succession, with or without discretion.”
When everyone was roaring with laughter, and Bran was helped from the stage, he wheeled over to Arya and Gendry’s table. They were trying hard to catch their breaths, hands on the ribs as they tried to form sentences. 
“Your highness,” Gendry started before promptly bursting into laughter, patting Bran on the shoulder as he wheezed out another laugh.
“What the fuck was that?” 
“I wanted everyone to know that I still fuck.” 
The pair looked at each other before banging their hands on the table, the entire venue a stream of laughter. It made Bran happy. 
The next day, Robb texted the group an article. 
TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 
9:40am - Robb: “Prince Bran does the worst, most inappropriate poem at an open mic night”
9:40am - Robb: What the fuck did you do?
9:41am - Arya: 
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9:41am - Rickon: YOU FUCKING DIDN’T!!!!
9:41am - Sansa: i thought you were joking! 
9:42am - Bran: I’m single, and the people deserve to know that my dick still works 
9:42am - Jon: He’s right
9:43am - Davos: PRINCE BRAN - YOU DID NOT SAY THIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE 
9:43am - Arya: he said, and a quote ‘to answer your question, my dick does work’
9:44am - Davos: I might actually have a heart attack 
9:44am - Rickon: HE NEEDS SOME MILK
9:45am - Davos: i think this is it for today. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed. 
9:46am - Rickon: press f in the chat for a fallen brother 
9:46am - Robb: oh...that’s cold davos 
9:47am - Sansa: this year we lost our dear brother bran
9:47am - Bran: quit telling everyone i’m dead 
9:48am - Sansa: sometimes i can still hear his voice 
*
The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: The family portrait for the Stark siblings is FINALLY out!
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@TheRoyalMemeFamily: they are dressed in traditional Winterfell garments - only the royals now wear them. And they stink. 
RobbWinterfell: @TheRoyalMemeFamily how can this be a family portrait if i’m not there 
TheRoyalMemeFamily: @RobbWinterfell ohhhhh…..you must be that imposter king. We know you’re related to the actor Richard Madden
Sansa Stark of Winterfell @PrincessSansa: also, the only reason Arya likes wearing this outfit is cause hers comes with a sword
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@TheRoyalMemeFamily: @PrincessSansa can confirm this outfit was made for a child
@AryaStark: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa still as sharp as a real sword 
*
@wetbreadvevo: so...the fucking starks have been posting pics from their family photoshoot this entire time and no one has questioned it? What the fuck 
*
3:14pm - Jon: hey, mate, you know Richard Madden in gonna be at this event night, right 
3:15pm - Robb: fuck….are you serious? 
3:16pm - Jon: yep, saw the guest list last night 
3:17pm - Robb: *typing*
3:17pm - Jon: yes it’s too late to cancel 
3:17pm - Robb: fuck 
3:18pm - Robb: can we just avoid him the entire night? 
3:18pm - Jon: I mean sure but it’ll be a bit rude 
3:19pm - Robb: okay new plan, I’ll greet him at the event, but if you see anyone taking pictures, tackle them to the ground 
3:19pm - Robb: I don’t need the girls finding photographic evidence that I’ve met him
3:20pm - Jon: you know that I know you’ve met him before right 
3:20pm - Robb: yes...but the girls are gonna give me so much shit, especially if we look buddy-buddy in the photos
*
TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 
8:20am - Sansa: so
8:20am - Sansa: richard madden was at that even last night huh? 
8:20am - Sansa: the fuck robb 
8:21am - Robb: i’m very proud of my ability to ignore the man all evening 
8:22am - Jon: he hid behind a plant at one stage 
8:22am - Jon: yes, everyone noticed 
8:23am - Bran: who’s the idiot now
8:24am - Arya: still you 
8:25am - Bran:
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*
The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: rare photo of Arya Stark growing up
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*
TO GROUP ‘The Ghost Fan Club (Jon fuck off)’ 
2:11am - Bran: you guys 
2:11am - Bran: anyone awake 
2:12am - Arya: yes but i’m trying to sleep 
2:13am - Bran: too late now fucknuts
2:14am - Bran: you ever think about davos hears the message alerts for this chat and just kinda….dies inside? 
2:15am - Sansa: oh for sure 
2:16am - Jon: I’ve seen his eyes close and pray for it 
2:18am - Robb: once in a meeting, i swear i saw him almost throw his phone across the room cause you guys wouldn’t shut up and he doesn’t know how to mute his phone 
2:20am - Rickon:
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2:25am - Davos: i think this is how you kids say it 
2:25am - Davos: mood
2:25am - Bran: DBIGIWEBGOUWR
2:25am - Arya: IUQWBIUBUIBUIBIUNOI
2:25am - Sansa: WTFFFFFFFFFFFF
2:25am - Jon: i’m fucking dreaming 
2:25am - Rickon: I CAN’T BREATHE 
2:25am - Robb: im
2:26am - Arya: WHAT IN THE WORLD IM LIVING 
2:26am - Davos: go to bed
*
The Memes of the Royalest Kind @TheRoyalMemeFamily: a queen can party 
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@PrincessSansa: @TheRoyalMemeFamily we stan a legend
Mother of Dragons @QueenDany: @TheRoyalMemeFamily @PrincessSansa i seem to remember this was at least two bottles of wine in for you 
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@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @TheRoyalMemeFamily pretty sure you were 4, but who was counting 
*
@DailyMail: it’s highly inappropriate for a sitting monarch and other royal members to be out drinking and showcasing that online - read the article here 
@QueenDany: @DailyMail 
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@PrincessSansa: @QueenDany @DailyMail 
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*
The Memes of the Royalest Kind@TheRoyalMemeFamily:Royal bodyguard spotted yet AGAIN with a different model
@TheRoyalMemeFamily: who is he 
@PodrickPayne: @TheRoyalMemeFamily 
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*
Arya ‘Not Today’ Stark @AryaStark:
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@JonSnow: @AryaStark 👀
@PrincessSansa: @AryaStark 👀
@RealBranStark: @AryaStark 👀
@RickonStark: @AryaStark 👀
@RobbWinterfell: @AryaStark 👀
*
@RickonStark: 
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@RickonStark: That’s it. That’s the tweet
*
8:29pm - Pod: so what youre saying is that i’m a chad? 
8:29pm - Sansa: no a himbo is necessarily a chad 
8:30pm - Pod: im more himbo than chad 
8:31pm - Sansa: you can be a chad if you’re not a himbo but you can’t be a himbo if you’re not a chad 
8:32pm - Gendry: you guys know this is the group chat right? 
8:33pm - Sansa: now gendry is a chad 
8:35pm - Gendry: low blow sansa
34 notes · View notes
shadowturtlesstuff · 4 years
Text
again but better thoughts while reading
@polandbananas20
 so my spelling is terrible in this but you know i was more focused on the book than how to spell. 
Chapter 1) good intro and good starting tone. The lady next to her sucks. Good small establishment of shane.
chapter2)shane characterisation is still consistent. I like her two new roommates (will be best friends) . My guess is the boy in the kitchen will be pilot. Family means but not intentional. Has no confidence. I was right about the boy
Chapter 3) intro of pilot properly. He's good. I love the inner monologue of shane. Trying to keep eye contact, the surprise of having a normal conversation. It sets her character well. Intro to her blog which i would love to actually read (i hope there's at least one entry we can read) pilot is a musician but not. Business major. What crap. 
Chapter 4) i really feel like shane, she is just typical fangirl/ dork and i love it. Its weird being english and reading about the things that shock them like pasta in bags.i understand the watermelon.we do get to read ‘shanes writing’ but its her personal jornal not her blog.
Chapter 5) fun chapter. Intro to rome. Love the idea that shane is heavy handed and violent. Short, not alot happened other than small character establishment.
Chapter 6)intro to creative writing class which i want/need in my life.more beatles. Woman on plane works at starbucks, will she make more appearances? 
Chapter 7) the drama???or at least wht will be the drama. Pilot has a gf, called amy (wish it was me) (wait no, bc i know that plot doesnt actually like amy anymore bc he obviously likes shane. So i take it back. I want to be shane, i mean i basically am like her but oh well.)
Chapter 8) parents. Overprotective, think they know best. Urgh. guarantee one of shanes new friends fight back to her parents to support her life choices, that do not include doctor.
Chapter 9)gets an internship at travel mag company. Thats it…..
Chapter 10)rome. Looses purse. Pilot to the anxiety riddled rescue by telling his own life story about his wallet to help calm her nerves.distracts her. Basially he would do anything for shane already.re count of rome trip from her jornal again which is a good touch to further the plot. This is making me want to read dan brown (ish) all of two books i own of him
Chapter 11) the postcards are a nice touch that i hope someone reads???? Travel buddies..just saying.chad..hmmm,im like shane,well see if he is good enough for babe. Her GODDAM stupdi mean cousins being mean on her facebook, and babe seeing (best friend moment) about pilot and the whole teasing about having a boyfriend.
Chapter 12) he didnt see (but i think he did but istn sayin anything) paris i shappening. Babe is bff confirmed and i want her as my friend 
Chapter 13)angry birds addiction starts. Level three, weak, shoulder touching it romance confirmed.awwww pilot 100% waited to sleep so he could see shane safe in bed
Chapter 14) pilot with a french accent, enough  said. The flirtinggggg.  The plane woman  is back??in paris with them????
Chapter 15)pilots choices of the back in time thing are both wit shane. Its so obvious and i love it. Pilot as a fake fangirl about the eiffel tower. More flirting,kind of. Oh god chad no.he did it. Goddammit.nooo he wull run babe and shanes friendship and maybe her and pilot. ‘Assbucket’ indeed. Her an pilot are fine and i really believe her and babe will be because when she nearly gets robbed babe giver her a sympathetic smile. Not much to go on but i have hope.
Chapter 16)okay so, fav chapter, she finally spills her guts that she has anxiety basically, that she is premed with strict parents and this is scary whilst pilots lies in bed with her to relax her bc he heard her crying. He only ecoureges her slightly before going back to his bed and sleeping. My heart, i swear, soon the roles reverse and pilot will say why he is in london and all that.
Chapter 17)babe and shane bffs confired. Chad is the worst confirmed. Of course it wasnt  break up call. Of course she wants to vist. Of course pilot is to cowardly to break up and just accepts them going to paris together. Of freaking course.
Chapter 18) do not get over pilot, it wont work. Rugby guy nooooo!im team pilot how dare you kiss shane! Wow, city of glass mention. I want to make a list of every bookmentioned.
Chapter 19) pilot is not himself (obviouls) shane is worried. She is still lying to her parents an feeling bad about. Rugby guy is thankfully a no go. Pilot finds out about the kiss and guy and is clearly silently jealous. 
Chapter 20)aww shane! Im sorry pilot sucks currently. And a stupid guys trip with flat four. No. and devil chairs. 
Chapter 21)1)love the book talk.  The loneliness is kicking in, pilot man up for gods sake
Chapter 22)this red-head plain weirdo is back and going through her list like some sort of mentore. Omg!!! No. amy is here, i dont hatte her but can she not. Also, her dad…. No! (this is the stand up moment i was on about, i hope)
Chapter 23) i do not like her dad. At all. Nooo shane...no. they found out. And acted like assholes.
Chapter 24) n1!ahhhh no! Amy has her notebook. The end is nigh.im going to cry i feel like shane. 
Chapter 25) the family dinner-family outing. Niether of them manuped and shane is depressed
Chapter 26)back in america. Still hasn’t told pilot but you know it is a slow burn
Chapter 27) I, wait? Marry, some guy? Like no. I know it’s been what six years but no. I refuse.i don’t like this so called Melvin. It’s okay she doesn’t want to marry him. She goes to see pilot and finally mans up and tells him and asks if she made it and and pilot finally man’s up and tells her no she didn’t. They get stuck in an elevator
Chapter 28) the elevators doing something. Shane wants to re do London cuz she hates life
Chapter 1?) they are both back in London? Both having the same what ever is happening? 
  Chapter 2) omg. Plane lady took them back to staRt over and pilots mad about it (obv)
Chapter 3)so… they got mad but started over and I’m excited. 100%they won’t press the restart button. I’m calling it now. Cuz pilot knows he now has a chance to do the what if’s/
Chapter 4) they keep there distance but we all know it won’t last
Chapter 5) tipsy Shane? Shawarma
Chapter 6) babe thinksthere is something going on with them( again)
Chapter7)the story about fake pilot, and the kiss. Ahhhhhhg
Chapter 8)they found the button. Shane doesn’t want to go back. I do t want them to go back. They don’t go back thank god
Chapter 9) da Vinci code flirting somehow.. Shane tells him it won’t happen u less he breaks up with last Amy.
 Chapter 10) he will break up with Amy and laris is gonna happen. 
Chapter 11) so Shane is happy again, pilot broke up with amy. Shane tried to make peace with the devil chair.
Chapter 11) they are so adorable. Aswwwwewhwhehruysnwjw
 Chapter 12) Uwuwnfhueia we get more Shane and pilot flirting, 
Chapter 13) the opposite game is adorable. I like that they get to be themselves together without the awkwardness. The start of the move game. Thats my fav. 
Chapter 14) they still have the angry birds obssesion but unlike me and supercard they know when to stop.the dance ‘move’ ahh i love. The line ‘but you do.’ just shows how much they know each other and how pilot would do anything to make her smile. And the lost move (not really a move but totally a move.) once again proves their love. Also we had that plot moment where he talks about why h chose to go to london. I adore shanes rant (?) about the things she loves. And then pilot doing the same thing. Shane vs chair is my life, like i battle chairs too. 
Chapter 15) what is tfios? Ooohhh. Fault in our stars. (i googled it)i probably shouldve known by the whole always part. The dance move came back to bite pilot in the ass and now they are dancing together. Ew chad. Yes shane! That is what chad deserves. 
Chapter 16) they get intimate and gigly and happy and aaaawwwhww
Chapter 17) im glad shane still rememebers to be friends with babe and not forget her in her lovestick state currently.
Chapter 18) her postcard….the questions that haunt her so much. Sort of accepting them herself too. She finally got to do wrecking ball, they miss internship , oh no…. Start if a downall?? 
Chapter 19) shane and pilot have fallen HARD
Chapter 20) the article is off the table. Amy is there. What the hell. No. omg pilot no, you moron. THEY BROKE UP!!! Which is fair, a break is needed. They both get back on track and then try and find a balance. Hopefully. Oh her laptop….shit...the feels when all your work is just gone. Tries to reset bc she is so depressed bc she thinks she failed again. 
Chapter 21) she cant go back (thankfully) a bookstore is always a good haven to go to when your breaking down.
Chapter 22)the redemtion (?) time to try and fix everything and get back on track.the determination and the readiness to try and make everything better for herswelf, herself, and no one else is good. She makes friends with the people in her office and works harder than befire, try to get herself out of her comfort zone and experience things
Chapter 23) the confrontation with her parents. Oh god. I hope this goes well. Its going as well as it can go. Im happy shane is sticking up for her dream so she can be happy, uugh the whole dad speech of ‘i do everything for you, i know best because im older,’ i hate it. Ooohh she is making up with leo, talking ot him this time. Im happy. Leo is gay. Cool. i hate how he got broken up with becuase of his stupid family, it sucks. ‘There is no normal.’ perfect words. 
Chapter 24) her thing is in the thing!!!( also good job me with words.) her article got published (there we go)this is where she learns she can be with pilot and be successful because tracy is with a famous author and they make it work with harder schedules. Trys to talk to her parents. This time she will make there relationship work.
Chapter 25)urgh ‘you live under my roof,on my dime…’ blah blah blah. We hate controlling parents that dont see that overprotecting and controlling their childs life does more damage than good. Babe suggest self discovery trip. Babe is a grat friends. 
Chapter 26)the button thing will work…’im mad at pilot. Or am i mad at me.’ she cracked the code. She loathed herself because of her fear of failing, but because this time she worked on herself to make herself happy she no longer hates herself. Yet she still feels the same (ish) feeling that even though she worked harder and got further that she has no summer job when she gets back to the states, her parents still wont allow her choice of work.PILOTS BACK!!!!!!! She was about to press the button and he swooped in with his music.
Chapter 27) he still follows her blog and got help from babe. His speech, finished with lamppost. Where can i get a pilot?he uploaded their song. Working through the divorce thing again but it will be better because he has shane to talk to about it. Ahhh she got a job!!! Happy ending!!! My heart!!!eeeee…
epilogoue) she becomes a successful author. Her parents have accepted her and support her. Pilots a musician. He takes her to the weird plane lady and they gobe the locket back, then he makes the ultimate move. With pictures of where they fell in love he uses the beatles russain doll things to hide a ring and when she finds it she obviously says yes. And that its unfair cuz she cant top that move. 
sooo...thats it.
i really enjoyed this book. i cannot wait for her next book. this post is longwinded i apologize but oh well? again i will link my website and review as soon as its done. so far in about five hours all i have is a paragraph so it may not be as soon as i want it to be
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I just want one love triangle that actually makes a triangle so I wrote the first chapter to a book.
Everybody thinks I’m straight. I don’t really know why but if I had to guess, it’s because I do sports, am popular, and hang out with primarily white guys named Chad. And people think. I imagine a lot of the time, when they look at me, they’re thinking, “why is he the only guy on the football team not named Chad? And why did his name have to be Thomas? No one cool is ever named Thomas except for that one guy on vine.” But I bet sometimes they think, “oh that guy? Yup! No gay there. He’s on the football team he can’t be gay!” But they’re wrong. I, and about 25% of the Chad‘s are gay. But this isn’t about the Chads, this is about me, and Maxwell, and Diana. But that’s it!
Aw shit! I haven’t even mentioned Maxwell and Diana. Diana is really rich and popular. But she’s also smart and kind, which is why she was elected student body president. The rich part got her that title not the nice part. Since we're both popular we do kind of hang out together but I try to keep my communications with her to a minimum because she’s always staring at me like she knows some dark secret and it’s scary. You have an experience true fear until you’ve had the most flawless person in the universe stare you down like you’re the scum of the earth. I try to imagine what she’s thinking but frankly I have no idea. And Maxwell is the most handsome amazing man in the whole school. He’s really quiet and doesn’t talk much but he’s got fantastic grades in art class. For a good reason too, everything he’s ever made is amazing. Yeah I know. These protagonists aren’t the most original bunch. But I didn’t choose to be popular and I didn’t choose to be in love with the shy artist, it just happened, and it would make a great fanfiction.
OK, now that the introductions are out-of-the-way, let’s actually get the show on the road, shall we? I was at my locker, getting stuff for my next class. What else would I be doing at the locker? I don’t know why I had to say what I was doing. It seems obvious. I digress. So Diana was doing that thing that the movies do, where she walks down the hallway with two other slightly less popular girls behind her and no one else is walking down the hallway. I genuinely have no idea how that happened or why she was walking down the hallway seeing as how her next period is lunch and both the exit and cafeteria are both the other way and none of them have food. She was staring at me again and I felt like she was about to sick wolves on me so I decided to turn to something that would make me less terrified. Except I’m dumb and gay so instead I went to look at Maxwell and- HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A BI FLAG?? OH GOD I HOPE SO!! Anyways I think he saw me looking at him because he was looking at me too and he also looked like he was going to sick wolves on me. Do I have a kick me sign on my back? Why is everyone so mad at me? This is especially unfair because Maxwell is just as graceful and beautiful angry as he is happy. So now I’m panicking for four different reasons and kind of wishing I could just jump in my locker and hide. Alas it was one of those two per column kinds so I wouldn’t fit. I now realize I have five different reasons to panic because guess what my next class is. Art! You know the class I have with the beautiful shy, talented artist who I am hopelessly in love with and is currently staring daggers at me? Why does God insist I must suffer?
Oh boy! The bell rang and like the garage student I am I didn’t go straight to class. I still made it before the second bell but I didn’t prioritize it and everyone was already there. Is that why those two hate me so much? They both are really smart maybe that’s it. Perhaps that’s why Diana was walking the wrong way. Maybe she was getting a head start on her next class. Maybe Maxwell could tell I was questioning her and he was horrified by my stupidity. Oh gosh I hope not! I would die of embarrassment! OK it probably won’t be that severe but I would cry in the bathroom for two or three days listening to Taylor Swift. I truly am the paragon of popularity aren’t I?
I either dozed off or just don’t care enough to write what happened in our class. I don’t remember which but it’s definitely one of them because the next thing happens at lunch. Me and the Chads were all sitting out at the bleachers talking about football stuff. You know... like… oh man I have no clue. I kinda wasn’t listening because Maxwell was drawing under the tree near the bleachers and the wind was blowing in his eyes and I got distracted. The shocking part is that the Chads that were also gay we’re not staring. I don’t know why this is. Maybe because homosexuals are individual human beings- no that’s too out there. My eyes kind of started to glaze over after a while so everyone else around me was completely aware of what was going on but I was just thinking about the glow cloud from Welcome to Night Vale. What self-respecting parents let an omnipotent being that rains farm animals I’m to the PTA? Why is the PTAs word law? I then remembered that the glow cloud was head of the school board and I felt stupid. Sadly, by the time I had come to that conclusion somebody was already pushing me in the shoulder so I couldn’t think any deeper about this pressing subject.
“HUH? WHAT TIME IS I- oh hi Maxwell,” I looked up to see two beautiful violet eyes staring sharply back at me.
“What is wrong with you?” The now kind of scary but still beautiful classmate of mine asked firmly.
“What are you-“
“Why in the world would you play with such a nice, beautiful girl’s heart like that?”
“I'd give you a response if I had any idea what you were talking about.”
“I can’t tell if you’re stupid or an asshole!”
“Stupid is a safe assumption,” I missed thinking about the glow cloud, or the wolves for that matter.
“OK then maybe I should be less aggressive about this,” Maxwell turned around with his face to his palm mumbling to himself before he turned back around with a phony smile, “Hi I’m Maxwell! I’m in your art class! You’re accidentally toying with the most popular girl in school’s feelings and I just so happen to have feelings for her. Isn’t this uncomfortable?”He was right. This was uncomfortable. I decided he was messing with me and started awkwardly laughing hoping he would start laughing less awkwardly back. He didn’t he just stared off into the distance like a soul left his body. Which it probably did. He just outed someone else’s crush and his own crush in one sentence. And unbeknownst to him the guy who had a crush on him was also the guy laughing uncomfortably in his face. But I have been laughing for too long and everyone else just stood there silently so I decided the best course of action was to respond.
“What are you talking about?” I decided on.
“Oh my god you’re so dense-“ he broke out of his stand still coma just to say.
“Nope!” I impulsively interrupted, “ just gay and incredibly uncomfortable!”
His eyes widened as he looked back at me, the idiot who had just outed himself on accident.
“ Oh God I am a dick!” He said less harsh, “ you were aware Diana had a crush on you weren’t you,”
“Nope! I thought she wanted me dead!”
“But she stares at you all the time.”
“Yeah well you were staring at me last period.”
“But that was a death glare. Can’t you tell the difference?”
“You guys had the same expression.”
“OK let me rephrase this. You don’t want to upset her now that you know right?”
“No.”
“That’s good, you have a moral code. I will help you let her down in a way that doesn’t upset anybody.”
“I don’t mean to sound rude or anything but you’re not doing this because you want her attention right?” I guess Maxwell hadn’t even thought of that because a horrified expression one across his face before he quickly shook his head no.
“I’m the quiet kid in the back of the class, I don’t think it’s physically possible to confess. Besides, it's less of a crush in the romantic sense, and more of a ‘I care so deeply about her I want to help her in any way I can’ sense. We actually grew up together and I-“
“I will accept your offer as long as there is no mention of a dramatic backstory of any sorts,” I interrupted him putting my finger to his mouth. This was too much human contact for me. I uncomfortably moved my finger back quickly as to not make things more awkward.
Maxwell sighed as he put his hand out for me to shake, “do we have a deal?”
I looked at his sketchbook now lying on the floor. This is gonna sting. I clasped his hand, “deal.”
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gotatext · 5 years
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claws my way out of the dirt like the goblin i am ..... hello thots, its nora, once again bringing you a revamped version of a muse i played yonks ago n some of u may have even written against... here is her pinterest.....
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this is margaret greta, she’s a whole can of trauma spaghetti plastered over with a toothy grin and a lot of dad jokes. the only reason she’s in gifford really is bcos shes been put there as part of a witness protection program cos lots of police r monitoring livingstone so its deemed relatively safe.... haha... anyway she changes major all the time. she started off doing fine art but since then she’s done modules in architecture, film, bio-chemistry and is now dabbling in medicine. 
CIS-FEMALE — ever hear people say GRETA O’DRISCOLL looks a lot like DIANA SILVERS? I think SHE is about 21, so it doesn’t really work. The MEDICINE major is a SOPHOMORE that is from DEADWOOD, SOUTH DAKOTA. They can be +CHARMING, but they can also be -EVASIVE. I think GEE might be SHEEP. They are living in YATES. ( nora. 23. gmt. she/her )
this bitch is the most restless creature u ever seen. before she came to livingstone, she’d lived in 8 different cities in 3 years. 
was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.
while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs
bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.
goes through phases of being intensely feminist and tweeting “men are trash i don’t need them” before flipping into being lonely and needy n wanting male attention again. tends to gravitate towards men who are just pieces of shit tbh like her friends are always like hun.... pick a nice boy..... but no.... she’ll go for the boxer with several arrest records for gbh or the small-town drug dealer just trying to hook her onto pills for a little extra cash, or the reformed sinner who thinks he’s being protective by reading all her texts and always knowing where she is..... n she always finds a way to spin it so that they Just Care About Her and aren’t a p.o.s 
left school at 18 n didn’t go to uni, moved in w her boyfriend of the time instead, but soon got bored, n then went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.
TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was playing bass for a country n blues band. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time. 
they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate. 
one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea... pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming..... also this happened in 2017, he was mixed race and greta is white so naturally the police totally took her side. she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe
 massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch
pretty easy to get along with (provided you don’t anger, provoke or question her too much) because she WANTS your character to be enthralled by her and will do whatever it takes to win them over. she wants everyone to love her
is That Girl who always knows where the parties are, and is always there, on the sofa, talking about institutionalised racism and trying to coerce you into a game of beer pong that she’ll definitely win. doesn’t really have one solid group of friends, just kind of on good terms with everyone and social butterflies about
has changed her major so many times. decision? who is she. currently studying medicine, but doesn’t rlly enjoy it. she’s very unmotivated and lazy and probably wouldn’t ahve bothered going to uni if she hadn’t been placed in one by a witness protection program. will probably change on to history or gender studies soon n just make up the extra credits by volunteering
 massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps.  i hate her
plays bass guitar, has a teal green fender and it is her BABY. it’s covered in stickers about saving the planet and ending fracking and going vegan. she’s in an all-female punk band w agnes (n mayb jade i think) n they play gigs every now n then in grotty club basements full of druggy sweaty college kids
PERSONALITY: easy-going, sociable, observant, blunt, amiable, nihilistic, self-serving, laid back, independent, unmotivated, charming, lazy, impulsive, alluring. ESTP and a leo
LIKES: art, music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy,  cowboy chic culture, DC comics, arcade games, candyfloss, deep red lipstick, marijuana, dogs, karaoke, Kate Moss, late-night strolls, zip-lining, chemistry, suspenders, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, cold coffee, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, boiler house DJ sets, magnolias, decorative lamps, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.
DISLIKES: bananas, coffee, Woody Allen, mental mathematics, children, Trump, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, Wes Anderson films, spoken word poetry, the general mentality of cheerleading squads (despite being on one)
aesthetics:
a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes. 
wanted plots: since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships, and girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight, and I want like, fellow medicine students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night?? she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry. ppl she did a few modules with before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with, like she did a few art modules, a bit of film, n some architecture before switching to medicine, though she’ll probs switch course again soon. ppl who she runs track with. someone she’s trying to make a zine with. here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.
would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo
full biography if u can be bothered
trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.
you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.
lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.
you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.
there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.
the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.
you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.
in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.
the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.
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trueishcolours · 6 years
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My siblings and I accidentally write a Ron/Victor Krum 4th year fix it fic in the group chat
Isabel: guyS
Rewatching goblet of fire
And I have to say
How amazing would it have if
It was a LOT less gendered
And also
If Ron and Krum had got together instead of Krum and Hermione
Thomas: Oh yeah there's so much Gender  
Isabel Ron already basically has a crush on Krum
Would have been great  
Thomas: idk, he's more jealous of him in my opinion  
Isabel: Nah
He has the action figure
He says he's an artist
It's definitely there
Thomas: Tru 
Clare: I mean on a superficial level I liked the Hermione/Krum part because it made me relate that a girl who is usually uninterested in 'feminine' things might still have some anxieties and take some interest now and again, and 'this super hot guy will like You, the Nerd' is standard wish fulfilment, but honestly I could take it or leave it. A grumpy feminist could equally well read it as 'EVEN smort girls like Hermione want to be feminine REALLY uwu'
And that would be a boring analysis but the whole feminine versus not argument is boring and not what we're here for
Anyway
The Krum drama kicks off the Romione subplot and honestly I hate Romione as a ship, to me it feels forced from beginning to end
But Ron/Krum would tie in really nicely to the whole character arc for Ron that JKR started in the first book and then forgot about where he evolves into an amazing intelligent badass without noticing it
Picture: He is dooting along, vaguely bummed because he's nothing special compared to his older bros, then in book four he realises wait he DOES stand out from others because he's gay/bi/whatever but he's not sure he WANTS that because standing out for being a minority is a fucking hassle but by the seventh book he is war hero, chess master and gay icon and vaguely confused about it
Hell, you could even have Hermione go to the ball with Krum, get her girly character development in and have Ron freak out and both of them /assume/ it's about her when it's not
It would just
Be better Thomas: Queer theory saves the day once again
Clare: :D  
Isabel: JUST BASICALLY RON, ALL THE TIME, WITH A BETTER CHARACTER ARC
Thomas: I love this  
Isabel: Honestly decades later I am still just so salty about Ron's lack of development, hell, anti development. I just want everything for him
Clare: Like, not to make it automatically angsty just because it's gay but Ron being Not Straight ties in so well with his typical theme of qualities that he think make him less than Textbook Perfect actually being his great strengths (I read a great analysis that Ron actually achieves all his brothers' goals without trying or noticing)
Ron just utterly stalls as a character in the books
And Harry is a shitty friend to him by the end
She kind of pulled it back with his deathly hallows arc but it was bungled and could have come across as just bashing him
Isabel: HE IS. Ron is so taken for granted.
Clare: God, Ron is SO much less of a dick if his yelling at Hermione in book four is coming out of Sudden Repressed Realisation, not just 'woman I like is doing something I don't like'
Isabel: I watched film 4 last night and just everyone??? Is so horrible to each other??? All the time??? I swear in the books it's so much better handled
Other reasons why bi/gay Ron headcanon is important: - most masculine of the trio/ has a million big brothers so dealing with toxic masculinity/ bucking queer stereotypes in there too - an extra 'fuck you' to the whole pure blood thing which I reckon is really homophobic as it means your bloodline won't get continued or some shit - Krum coaching Ron on Keeping in bad English. Tell me it's not cute. - Ron's a linguist (he learnt parselmouth on like 2 listens)!! Tell me he wouldn't learn Bulgarian?! - just, chaotic bilingual Quidditch talk, all the time, forever?!
Clare: UM your pidgin Quiddich is now my new fave headcanon forever????? You're SO RIGHT Ron is smart, he's just not academic. He would DEFINITELY pick up a language fast if he was using it to talk to his boyfriend/about quiddich
Isabel: EXACTLY
Clare: Plus all the stuff you said about toxic masculinity and purebloodism.
MAKE THE SUBTEXT TEXTUAL, YOU COWARDS
Isabel: #giveRonaBoyfriend2k18
Also not around for the lowkey weirdness of Ron and Harry dating CANONICALLY IDENTICAL AND BORING non white girls to the Yule Ball
I know that you can overdo all this stuff but seriously the fuck
Clare: It is a bit odd and icky   
Isabel: Ok so this is what happens
Krum asks Hermione to the Yule Ball and it's like she gets her cute moment with him
But then instead of spending the whole evening being a whiny bish Ron shows un-JKR-characterisation-characteristic maturity and puts a brave face on it and talks to them both
He's upset but doesn't full on ruin their evenings
And then Hermione after the ball, (gradually realising with slight horror that she and Krum actually have literally nothing in common) kind of keeps... asking... Ron to hang out with them
And at first Ron's like lol no way am I third wheeling
But then the temptation to hang out with his literal idol becomes too strong
And he and Krum start hanging out independently of Hermione
(who's probably in the lib helping Harry study for the second task at this point anyway)
The weather is still too cold for Quidditch
Ron thinks
But somehow Ron ends up playing anyway
IN THE SNOW
WITH VICTOR
HE'S GETTING COACHED BY AN ACTUAL WORLD CUP FINAL SNITCH CATCHING PLAYER AND HE IS NOT CHILL
Clare: Hoooooly fuck this is perfect
(except he actually is because it's like -10 and snowing what the fuck Krum) Ron putting his big boy panties on and dealing during the ball, leading to him actually having an in with Krum via Hermione
I love the dynamic of Hermione just...awkwardly asking her friends to hang with them...just to break the silence...
Isabel: YEAH EXACTLY
And then them all actually having a nice evening
Clare: I mean the point of Krum with her was to get that 'YASSSS I'm dating a hot guy!' moment WHILE ALSO showing how easily it fizzles, so nothing needs to change there
Hermione could even do her 'ugh, quiddich and BOYS' routine
Isabel: Awkward because of course it is awkward what is a teenage party without angst but also, fun
yeah exactly! the slow dawning that fuuuuck, I've just brought another stupid quidditch boi into my life oh god why
Clare: Ron still knows more about the history of the game and all the technical terms than Harry so has more to talk to Krum about
Isabel: And then you know Ron and Krum stumble back into the castle with Ron wearing Krum's hat à la Chad and Ryan, and Skeeter doesn't bat an eyelid because it doesn't fit her trashy narrative
Clare: RIGHT I've got to sleep I'm getting a cold but I love this
Isabel: ok go sleep
OK ONE MORE POINT
we almost certainly get the insanely awkward 'think you're in luurve Ron' or 'lol if you love Krum so much you should date him not Hermione'! moment from either Fred or George or maybe Ginny
And there's just a kind of... missing step moment
Clare: I think all of them would do that
I mean they're pretty mean to Ron anyway, especially about love
Isabel: Exactly they're all horrible but MAYBE this would teach them!!
Clare: Exactly! It would rip the rug out from under them and they'd be like wait shit
Isabel: We are actually mean to Ron... a lot
Clare: Especially because in this timeline Ron still gets the hassle from his sibs but unlike in the main timeline where he is just butt monkey forever he has the trump card that he's got a boyfriend who's a world famous quiddich player
Like, if you're Fred, George, Ginny or even Molly you can't really come back from that reveal. Ron wins.
Isabel: Krum actually being a laser focussed guy who gives people he cares about 300% of his attention
And middle child syndrome attention starved Ron just soaks it up like a blooming Icelandic kid under a sunlamp
Ron win evertiem
Clare: Yeahhhhhh. Being a prodigy who's trained from such a young age he's got to nail that work life balance and it's like 90% work 10% life but that life is INTENSE, he's seen too many people lose their relationships because they won't switch off their metaphorical phones during dates, he gets one (1) month a year and about three (3) important people and when it is Person Time it is PERSON TIME
Right bed for eal I'm dying
Isabel: BED FOR EEL
UGH ALL I WANT IN MY LIFE IS THE 50K+ SLOW BURN QUEER 4TH YEAR REWRITE
BUT I LEGIT DON'T HAVE TIME TO WRITE IT AND I DON'T TRUST MYSELF TO GET RON POV RIGHT ANYWAY
Clare: Bebs I wish you could write it
The raw chemistry my goodness
I ship it now
Is there going to be 'you are treating me like an idol not a real person please stop' angst at any point?
Isabel: OF COURSE THERE IS
Clare: Also Krum is like 'I knew I could trust you because you are bffs with Harry Potter and you treat him like he's totally normal you must be so mature and cool he is so so lucky to have a friend like you
Or well, Krum insecurity that people only like him because of his celeb status anyway
Which is probably why he went for Hermione in the first place because she didn't give a shit
'WOULD WE EVEN BE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE IF IT WASN'T FOR QUODDICH?'
'... I love you.'
'Bro I wouldn't care if you were the worst player in the world as long as we both are fans of the sport together.'
'Bro.'
Isabel: BRUH
Also can I just ask...?
What happens in the second task??!!?
It's already messed up enough under that lake, love triangles all over the place
This would just be the final straw that resulted in everyone just shrugging and teaming up
Clare: Holy shit
Krum just doots along, takes Ron and goes
Harry's like...wait what...OK...um I guess Hermione and Ron are equally important to me so I'll just take her kk
Isabel: Krum and Ron appearing on the surface of the lake like 'fuck'
The most dramatic declaration of intent ever
Turning yourself into a shark and rescuing them from the bottom of a lake
Clare: Everybody in the stands is SHOOK
Dumbledore like dang I did not predict this
With their hair soaking wet they are both at maximum hot
Isabel: Rita Skeeter's quill combusts
Clare: Krum doesn't point her out as a beetle in Hermione’s hair he's too busy with Ron
Isabel: Yeah she's like where is my gossip at??? Nothing is happening over in Hermione's hair
But yeah I feel like Dumbledore would be like, oh darn, looks like I'm gonna have to show queer solidarity with Ronald Weasely or something
KRUM AT THE BURROW VERY SERIOUSLY COMPLIMENTING MOLLY ON HER FOOD AND ASKING FOR BRITISH RECIPES AND WINNING HER OVER IN A TRICE
Clare: Would Krum charm Molly straight away though? He's very surly and shy and, in the books, not very handsome. Wouldn't Molly start out yikes who is this quiddich yob my son has taken up with?
Ginny on the other hand. Comes out as bi a couple of years later, tells Ron she only started to realise thanks to his example, apologises for being a dick about his love life
Isabel: Yeah I guess actually
I think Molly can get fierce
Clare: She's probably got a bit of pure blood/homophobic anxiety that she cloaks as objections about THIS PARTICULAR boy
Isabel: Either she loves you and adopts you right away or she is like /pulling shotgun down from the shelf/
EXACTLY
She's like
Blaming herself, oh I should have paid more attention and NOW look what's happened
Poor Ronald, always neglected
And Ron's like... mum... this is great
I am happy
Is not problem
Clare: Ron is like I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION JESUS CHRIST
I mean he's probably enjoying having the attention of a quiddich super star and I bet he'd even enjoy the celebrity status of The Boyfriend a bit (best friends get sidelined but romantic partners are news) but he's not doing it FOR attention
Isabel: Yeah, and I think the suggestion that he is would just make him so mad
First confused and then mad
Oh the ANGST
Clare: Especially since that's Krums biggest anxiety
Isabel: Mr Weasely would be chill. I feel like in this whole equation he is the chillest
Clare: What would Percy say? Would social climbing or doing the done thing win out?
Also the attention thing is a way for parents to make their child's relationship all about them. Oh you want me to LOVE you more! No mum I'm growing away from you this is normal
I think Ron would get jealous around Bill and Charlie because they'd swing in all oh our brother is rebellious and has a cool boyfriend? Well we are cool rebels also welcome to the family Victor
Isabel: Yeah... I think Percy is probably pretending to be chill with it and being a bit smarmy to Krum then says something awkward and homophobic and it's worse than if he'd just said it straight up
Clare: I think a lot of Liberal but still pure blood families would take the line of, 'it's fine that you're gay...because you're the sixth son so your blood line isn't in danger and making a socially advantageous match is probably more important for you anyway! And Ron is like Y I K E S
Isabel: Yeah exactly, well I suppose you have enough sons Molly amirite
What do we think about the Krum family?
Are they just happy that their son is forming human relationships
Clare: Hmm. How do they feel about celebrity? Do they think Ron is Not Good Enough or are they actually quite a normal family and are glad Krum has an ordinary guy to keep him grounded?
Isabel: I kind of don't want Ron to have to deal with random Bulgarian disapproval
I think maybe a quite normal family who had a kid who was a genius and has been at boarding school/ travelling for years and years
Maybe Krum already came out to them so that drama is in the past
Clare: Yeah and when he brings Ron home for dinner they're just delighted that Krum is home at all and that he's happy
Yeah maybe he did
He's probably had a lot of time to introspect because of his image and maybe he's an only child?
Isabel: And Ron speaks accented but ok Bulgarian by this point and they're like !!!
Clare: I think one aspect of the large family thing that WOULD affect Ron is its just that much harder to have a private word with your parents so confiding about yourself, especially when you're not 100% sure, just isn't part of the family culture
And there's no time for introspection when you're jockeying for position with six siblings
So Krum is out to his parents while Ron isn't even out to himself
Plus Krums just that bit older
Isabel: No, when you ask for a word it's all 'yes Ron' a bit exasperated
Clare: Krum’s family are just delighted that Ron speaks Bulgarian and is a normal guy who likes their son for himself
Isabel: Maybe they have some kind of cool engineery job and Ron goes out the back and is like well my dad likes cars I will try and help
Uses his mathsy chessy knowledge
Clare: Re. Homophobia I think it is important that it's not all YOU'RE GOING TO HELL like the Muggle brand but instead is very focused on producing pure blood children. Also with the smallness of the pure blood community I bet there's a lot of, not official arranged marriage, but kind of assumed marriage, like in Pride and Prejudice or what may have happened with Prince William and Kate, like, there's three girls your age who your family's on speaking terms with who aren't your first cousins and it'll massively throw off everybody's plans if you don't marry one of them
Yes Ron helping with engineering
Isabel: Headcanon of the Krums as magical engineers with a side passion for quidditch
Clare: I bet he picks up arithmancy that way. Can't learn it in the classroom, can learn it in the garage. And he comes home from the holiday able to actually help his dad with the car and thenceforth Mr Weasley is on board
Isabel: Yeah exactly... they're a bit 'sigh ok this means you're not gonna marry bertha from the bakery but hell at least it's not a veela'
Clare: Also wizarding society is inherently conservative, they haven't even updated their writing system, so anybody doing anything different is looked askance at unless they can play themselves as a genius eccentric like Dumbledore
Isabel: So yeah then Ron turns out to be WHOLESOME af and Krum’s family are like... ok fine. this is fine. In fact yay!
Ok I have to go do some work but this has been almost as good as having the fic itself
Clare: Maybe I'll put a summary on my tumblr and see if anybody wants to adopt it
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