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avversiera-writes · 3 years

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‘till death do us part - epilogue [tobirama senju/you]

Epilogue: The World As He Made It

Summary: Tobirama becomes Hokage. He obsesses over a new jutsu.

Words: 1.1k

A/N: gods...this chapter. it's just Tobirama. and his usual madness. I like to write him like this, kinda unhinged, barely keeping it together, but no one can tell. he is alone in this kind of plight.

also available on AO3.

<< Chapter 1 - Allegiances // Chapter 2 - Union // Chapter 3 - Love Like You // Chapter 4 - Look to the Horizon // Chapter 5 - Return // Chapter 6 - How to Steal a Crown // Chapter 7 - Make Him King

Tobirama’s inauguration is almost without ceremony. The sky is downcast, a sign of an impending storm, and just as Tobirama raised the Hokage hat from his head, the villagers immediately scattered to take shelter from the pouring rain. The transition was made quick and without preamble, and with that, everybody began to attend to their designated duties in the village. Tobirama watches the people from the Hokage mansion’s rooftop, and this time, he is alone under the rain.

Many nations will hear of the new Hokage, and some may try their luck to find weakness in the village. His eyes go to the place where the Uchiha clan resides, and his blood goes cold. He needs them to value the village above all–he cannot have any dissenters. Not when everything is so fragile, like a taut string pulled to its limit. He needs them to participate and to stop being so exclusive to outsiders. His brother has told him to stop being so strictly vigilant towards them, but he cannot help it. It is like he is expecting another Uchiha Madara to rise up any moment.

He uses his fears to turn them into logic and to come up with several plans, some of them already put into motion. Like the ANBU, his eyes and ears to the lands beyond Konoha, and to people he deems to be watched inside the village. Besides, a man cannot survive if he does not fear anything.

Even now, his mind runs through different methods and solutions, and he makes a mental note to jot them down later and to test some of them out.

He stays there a little longer, and he raises his face to the sky. He throws up his walls, because he does not know any other way.

He is aware of his wife watching him from behind, but he knows that something about him has shifted, and she cannot come forward to stand beside him. He is aware of the fears that sit in her heart, but the best way he knows how to solve them is to focus on strengthening the village and have several fallbacks, so she will be safe and protected. So that everyone that he watches over will grow up in a world where they can be shinobis with more knowledge than just the battlefield. That was what his brother wanted, and he will do anything to make sure that his brother’s wishes come true, and that the village will prosper and it will last to serve generations of great shinobis.

This is the world that Hashirama wanted. And this is the way he has made it.

Underneath the gilded perfect picture, there is him, and his notes and his books and his plans. In the middle of the storm that he had contrived, there is him, and his ideas and his cold hard facts.

Finally, he turns away and he sees you waiting for him and also letting the rain fall on you.

He wants to walk up to you and take your face into his hands, to reassure you, but there is no reassurance, because that means that he is getting ahead of himself. He hopes that you know this, and he hopes that you will still keep your capability to understand him, no matter what. He cannot avoid having to hope, for he is only human, and he is not a god, even if he does play the role at times.

Tobirama took Madara’s eyes secretly after the battle with his brother and preserved them. Now, he scrutinizes it, dissects it into layers so that he can figure out how the Uchiha’s visual prowesses work. He writes down his observations, and writes down his theories.

He surrounds himself with glass flasks and chemicals, more mad handwriting and strewn papers on the table and the floor, and after he puts Madara’s eyes in a container that will preserve it for later studies, he is struck with inspiration.

To him, it is rather genius, he thinks.

He is always surrounded by death, and in the future he would like to prevent any more casualties. It strikes him: what if the strongest shinobis who have died can be revived? What if they can still regenerate after being struck? He can have a whole army of them, unstoppable, unbreakable. There may be no need for sacrifices.

He scribbles on his journals, explaining his thought processes. He will need to start somewhere–maybe he can get a few references from the Uzumaki clan to study and derive his own conclusions. He is not sure if it will be possible, but he has invented other jutsus before, and this one can be boiled into just...that. However, he knows that he is bringing something new into life. Something so impossible, and probably for people like his elder brother, immoral.

But Tobirama was never one to strictly stick to morals when it comes to the greater good, and this. This . This can be something good. This will help and benefit the village.

He does not when he begins, and he only remembers stopping because daybreak stifles his thoughts and it filters through the small windows of his lab.

He does his best to tidy up, but he really did not want to stop.

There is so much more to do. There is just so much.

Time is not enough, and he needs more time.

He attends to his Hokage duties as normal, finding it hard to take a break or rest. Then at night, he goes to the graveyard where unknown fallen shinobis are buried and he unburies them. Painstakingly, he brings them back to his lab, and does his best to not disturb them too much, just in case he needs a part of them. Hopefully, there are some surviving organs in them that he can work on. He needs to be able to isolate their DNA for later purposes.

To him, these are just bodies. They are dead already.

He notes that everything feels a little heightened. His skin itches like there are bugs crawling over him, his mind is racing and his hands are shaking, but he waits until the tremors are gone and he begins his work. For the village. For his brother. For you.

There is no going back. He will soldier on in these treacherous shadows to carve a path of light–to show the Will of Fire and make sure that it burns longer, and that it burns bright.

He witnesses another daybreak without sleep, and finally, he comes up with the name, or at least, what he wants to call it.

Edo Tensei.

END

***

Author’s Notes:

or is it?

to be continued on: try again; in every day we breathe life (available on AO3)

will post on tumblr soon. see ya!

buy me a coffee !

#angelica writes #Senju Tobirama #Tobirama Senju #tobirama x reader #tobirama x you #naruto #naruto fanfiction #Naruto Shippuden #you never said goodbye timeline/au #'til death do us part

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ahkaraii · 6 years

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oh gosh i love your meta, now i have to ask your opinion about Kakashi, im fascinated by his trauma and how he dealt with it, which i think was a bad way, but still interesting. What do you think about him and his role? about his time as Hokage?

Okay, let me first start by saying: I love Kakashi. I love him a toooon, and I will happily draw a thousand comic strips with him as main character because I find him fascinating. But my love for him does not preclude the fact that Kakashi is not a “morally good” man, and probably would never become one unprompted.

First: he is a shinobi, and all that it entails - a professional killer, a man loyal to a fascist-like system, who will die to protect its ideals. He is a product of this system and will dutifully perpetuate it (unless someone he admires proposes a different solution, cough, Naruto, this is where you come in).

Second: his internal ‘moral code’ is incredibly inconsistent over his life because Kakashi doesn’t objectively know what is good or bad -- as a child he used to think his father was Good but then it turned out his dad was Bad, and that set the stage for his ongoing anxiety about not knowing what is Right or Wrong. (It also didn’t help that he was a child soldier at age five, dear lord). What Kakashi does know is what is valuable and valued in the shinobi system, and later, what was valuable and valued by important figures in his life that have died. Everything that falls outside of this is deemed “Trash” or simply “Unimportant”.

Third: Kakashi is a very psychologically fragile guy. He suffers from anxiety, depression, and depersonalization, to name a few symptoms. The resulting mess is what appears to be a schizoid personality with an underlying anxiety disorder that manifests through ritualistic OCD-like behavior.

Kakashi likes rules, he likes order, he likes knowing exactly what is going to happen. That’s why he reads the same silly novel a gazillion times, why he clings to a dead boy’s moral code -- the dead can’t change their minds and change the rules on him, and the novel’s ending is already written, it can’t be retconned on him. It gives him mental stability in a very inconsistent and threatening world that has pulled the rug on him too many times for him to ever be able to trust the solidity of the ground below him.

As an adolescent he had symptoms of anxiety-induced OCD -- cleaning his hands over and over comes to mind. He visits the graves of his dead for hours and hours without fail. He always wears his mask, come rain sleet or snow.

So it seems that in order to be sane he needs a schedule, he needs things to be the same or at least predictable. Missions are easy. What is the objective? How am I going to accomplish it? Mission complete. Come home. Rinse and repeat. He is at his most emotionally stable living a very predictable and ritualistic lifestyle. The rest is Trash and Unimportant.

This has remarkably translated to him being a very good shinobi, because the ideal shinobi is a kunai always ready to be drawn, that self-sharpens, that flies true and hits the mark you intended to hit. Kakashi can do that. He knows exactly what he needs to do to be just that, and that brings him peace. Perhaps not tranquillity, or happiness, but certainly a mental blankness that is absent of emotional pain, which is superior to what he feels when he’s not on a mission. His moral code before Obito is thus: the Shinobi Rules are Law, and following that strictly kept him content, because he knew that was Good.

Indeed, had Obito not died as he did, Kakashi would have placidly continued being a phenomenal rule-following shinobi. He would have made one HELL of a good ROOT agent, likely succeeded Danzo and carried on being the epitome of the darkness of a shinobi without batting an eyelid. Killing kids, burning people’s livelihoods, sabotaging peace efforts--all Good because I was ordered to and I Am Following The Rules and that is Good. But the fact of the matter is Obito DID die, and told Kakashi that the shinobi rules were Trash because Comrades Are More Important, which shattered Kakashi’s careful rules and order. So, to reduce the anxiety resulting from this loss of structure, Kakashi rearranged his moral code around Obito’s last words and carried on.

Then Obito turns out to be the bad guy. Whoops! A panel later, Kakashi now re-organizes himself to follow Naruto’s ideals instead.

What is consistent across all this? Kakashi, fundamentally, has no idea what is morally good or bad. He is full of anxiety and that anxiety is only relieved by following a set structure, a set of behaviours that can be operationally defined and followed to the letter, behaviors that produce a predictable result. If Kakashi arrives late, people will yell “you’re late!” If Kakashi pulls out his book in public, people will yell “what a weird pervert!” He assumes all these facades because they produce predictable results that comfort him in how predictable they are.

So -- all that psychological preamble aside, would Kakashi make a good Hokage?

From what I've seen (at a glance =_=) in Boruto, he is the one that helps Konoha transition from a technologically deficient village to a highly technological one. The reconstruction efforts are immense, and the city triples in size, but I don't see that many shinobi running around, so presumably the civilian:shinobi ratio has exponentially increased. Interesting to think about. I still don't know how their economy works, lmao, but whatever Kakashi did seemed to have worked and worked quite well. So that’s canon for you.

But, ignoring that sequel, because I really don't care to follow it or incorporate it into my personal headcanon, I think Kakashi would actually make for a pretty lousy Hokage, hahaha.

Kakashi is better suited to be what I’ve now taken to calling the “Shadow Hokage” -- the force behind the "Light" Hokage, as it were. Think about this: he could’ve made a phenomenal ROOT leader. In fact, he was an ANBU commander for quite a while, and he was universally acknowledged as being really good at it, both at completing missions and getting his comrades back alive. What an efficient ninja! His mission success rate combined with his minimal waste of human resources = A++ shinobi, sir!

Why not a “Light Hokage”? Well, beyond Kakashi’s “I never abandon my comrades” speech, he has very few words of wisdom to impart to impressionable youth. He can hardly communicate with fellow shinobi, how the heck do you expect him to communicate with civilians? With the daimyo? Oh, he can do it -- we saw with Yamato and Naruto and the Raikage that he is capable of bowing and talking formally, yadda yadda -- but that is not Kakashi’s strength. Why would you ever force this socially-impaired, languid-as-fuck schizoid disaster into a public, political position??? Dear lord.

He’s better suited to sticking to the shadows, imo. He can and has made the tough decisions, the cold, heartless, friend-killer decisions for the good of Konoha, even having Obito’s code eating away at him. But squatting with baby Academy students and accepting flower crowns a-la Hiruzen is just...not a thing I can see him doing for years and years with enough feeling to convince anyone he means it. He was -- quite objectively, I’d argue -- a spectacularly BAD jonin-sensei when it was just three little kids looking up to him. Imagine an entire village of children looking up to this guy, their new Cult Of Personality To Aspire To. Rip kids.

I’d much rather have Kakashi as someone below the Hokage, who takes orders from someone who wants to change the shinobi system. Have Kakashi take up the mantle of jonin-commander, if ROOT is no longer a thing. Use his keen intelligence to suggest strategies on how to allocate resources, which people to recruit and which to discard, where everyone’s skills are best suited for, what areas need improvement, etc.

Finally, please give him therapy dogs and an enthusiastic man in a wheelchair so he can ultimately retire in peace ;//u//;

#long post #naruto #kakashi #karaii's headcanons #kakashiobitos

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itachi-uchiha-deserved-better · 2 years

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🔥

Going through heat as an Anbu agent was a difficult affair. Starting with the fact that very few Omega's had ever been allowed among the ranks of the Anbu.

Things were better now, under Kakashi's leadership as hokage. But it had taken several years to figure out all of the logistics.

Each Anbu team containing an omega also contained one alpha and at least three betas. Omegas and Alphas went through a careful selection process and had to formally agree to their partner. There's nothing intimate about the affair. It's strictly pragmatic, although the partners do have to be reasonably compatible and on occasions, Anbu partners wind up as mates.

That isn't the case for Itachi. His mate Izumi understands that the nature of his position in Anbu means that she will have to share him with another alpha. Itachi and Sai had picked each other as partners during the most recent selection, after Itachi's old partner Tenzo had retired from the Anbu. Sai was a young alpha, but raised in root and unlikely to be at risk for developing an emotional attachment that might threaten Izumi. Sai had an excellent level of control over his instincts and was more than happy to submit to Itachi as captain when neither of them was in heat/rut.

For his part, Itachi had till now managed to avoid a heat during a mission thanks to a combination of hormonal suppressants and well timed personal leave.

But this heat was at least three weeks early and Itachi knew as soon as he felt the cramping in his core start what it was and could see that Sai had already scented it as well.

Itachi halted the team, "Kestral, Panther, head to rendezvous point 3. I'll send a crow for team Chi to meet you there."

Immediately both beta members of team Ro nodded and darted off through the trees, recognizing the situation and following their captain's orders so the mission could go on.

Sai didn't wait for Itachi's orders. He knew his duties well and had already pulled out a map of the area, looking for the safest place for him and Itachi to go to ground before the heat hit Itachi in earnest. Itachi summoned a crow to take his message back to Konoha and then turned to Sai.

"There is a village two klicks from here. It's big enough that there will most likely be an inn. Our other option is a network of natural caves one klick to the west."

Itachi considered both options. The cave was the more reliable option, but rock and stone hardly sounded desirable.

"We'll head to the village, then." Itachi decided. Sai ceded to Itachi's lead, where another alpha might have blustered at taking orders from their omega.

One of the many reasons why Itachi and Sai worked as partners.

It took longer than normal for them to reach the village, in part because Itachi had to divert much of his chakra to suppressing his scent. The last thing they needed was every rogue alpha in the area to come sniffing around after them.

The inn was there, like Sai had predicted, and was modest but comfortable and warm. Sai took care of procuring their room while Itachi lingered nearby. Once inside, Sai began laying down scent wards around the edges of the room while Itachi did what he could to prepare for the heat to start in earnest. He pops a soldier pill into his mouth. He'd need real food eventually but the energy from it would get Itachi through the first wave at least.

When Sai finishes placing the scenting wards he turns to face Itachi. There is a moment were they lock eyes. The room shifts, and Itachi ducks his head, acknowledging the altered dynamic that would be in place until his heat broke.

"Alpha," He murmured. Sai nodded, his eyes flashing dark as he released the hold on his own instincts.

"Omega. Here. Now."

There is the briefest moment of hesitation, just enough to remind Sai that this change in dynamic would only be temporary, and then Itachi pulled himself from the bed and walked gracefully up to Sai. Itachi could feel the heat building in his skin, the fever beginning to burn behind his eyes. He knew the kind of pain it would bring without an alpha to temper it. Sai could see it as well, and shifted to begin undressing Itachi. His eyes lingered for only a second on the place where Itachi's mate mark rested, the scar where Izumi's fangs had sunk in and claimed him.

Sai's fingers grazed it, although Itachi didn't see any resent or avarice in his eyes.

"I recognize that we are not bonded. However, I will strive to make this a pleasurable experience for you." Sai's reached out, placing one hand on the nape of Itachi's neck. Itachi could feel himself melting into the touch as Sai scented him. He couldn't help but think about how Izumi would wrinkle her nose when he got home, the way she'd pull him into bed and nuzzle him all over until Sai's scent on his body was replaced with hers.

Then the ache in his core hit Itachi in earnest.

"Alpha," He whined, gripping at Sai's clothes and trying to remove the last barrier between him and the thing that would sate his heat.

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narutoaus · 3 years

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Team Runaway AU Masterlist- Characters/Background

Roles:

Nohara Rin: Three Tailed Jinjuurike and Jonin Sensei of Team 7

Hatake Kakashi: Anbu Commander

Maito Gai: Jonin Sensei of Team Gai

Tenzo Yamato: Anbu Captain and Secondary Jonin Sensei to Team 7

Nicknames:

Rin: Trap trickster

Kakashi: The Hound/Lightning Cutter Kakashi

Gai: Konoha’s Mighty Green Beast

Tenzo: The Cat/Mokuton Murder

What they’re most known for

Rin: Impossible to get out of traps and punching so hard she can crush your bones.

Gai: Speed and strength. Taijutsu mastery.

Kakashi: Copying over 1000 jutsu’s and being wicked smart.

Tenzo: Ruthlessness in battle and his Mokuton abilities.

History:

Kakashi and Rin were placed on the same team alongside Namakaze Minato and Obito Uchiha. During their mission at the Kannabi bridge, Obito ‘died’ and gave Kakashi his sharingan as a gift.

After Obito’s death, Gai is put on a lot more missions with Kakashi and Rin to fill the empty spot on their team. After their first mission together as a team, Hiruzen, Minato and Choza decide that they work well together and should continue going on missions as a three man cell.

During one of their missions together, the trio finds themselves up against some Shinobi from Iwagakure. They are out numbers and trying desperately to figure out how to get out alive when Gai decides to use himself as a decoy.

Both Kakashi and Rin go after him and find him just as the Iwagakure Shinobi are about to attack him. They’re able to help Gai take the Iwagakure shinobi on, and during the battle the enemy calls upon a giant lightning jutsu to attack them (like in canon).

To protect his friends, Kakashi charges up his chidori even though he’s near chakra exhaustion, and slices the lightning in half.

With the attack defeated, Kakashi, Rin and Gai watch as the enemy shinobi Run away from them. They survived, completed their mission, and made a name for themselves that Iwagakure shinobi will never forget.

Rin, Kakashi and Gai continue to do missions together and make a name for themselves, becoming a team that very few are willing to face.

Then one day Rin and Kakashi are sent on a mission without Gai. They have tons of other backup Shinobi for this mission, but they’re told that Gai is needed for a mission with his old team. They don’t like it, but they go.

This is the mission that Rin is kidnapped on, and Isobu is sealed inside of her by the hidden mist. Kakashi is able to find her, but during the battle to get her away from the hidden mist shinobi, Rin jumps between him and his enemy and take’s a chidori through the chest.

Kakashi was thankfully able to redirect his attack a fraction, hitting Rin in the stomach rather than the heart.

Obito still see’s what happened, and watches as Rin and Kakashi both collapse on the ground. Thinking that Rin has been killed, he loses it and slaughters the enemy. But when he goes to check on Rin after, she is still breathing and Isobu is healing her.

Obito still decides to join Madara that day because he realizes that the Shinobi world is broken and could have cost Rin her life.

When Kakashi wakes up, he realizes Rin is still alive and immediately picks her up and take her back to the meeting point. After getting her to safety though, he distances himself. Afraid of hurting her again, and possibly even killer her by accident.

With the team’s growing strengths, and Kushina’s new appointment as Hokage, Kakashi is placed into Anbu to grow his skills and act as personal guard for Kushina when necessary. She partially does this so that she can keep an eye on Kakashi’s declining mental health, and with her as Hokage Kakashi’s only job is to stay by her side and protect her.

Kakashi starts to heal a little while guarding Kushina, even reaching a point where he is able to go out with Rin and Gai again. Though he continues to have nightmares about his hand covered in Rin’s blood, it helps him a lot to see her alive and smiling, even talking about her new ‘buddy’ Isobu who she’s always saying is super grumpy now that Kushina has improved the seal that keeps them inside of Rin.

Rin, Kakashi and Gai (who at this point has been named an honorary member of team Minato) are all told by Minato and Kushina about them expecting a child together, and immediately start planning out things that they’re going to do with the kid and what to get Minato and Kushina as a gift.

When Naruto is due to be born, Obito still releases the nine tailed on Konoha and attacks Minato. Hiruzen prevents the kids from battling against the Nine tails, and during the fight both Minato and Kushina are killed.

Shortly after the funeral, Kakashi is standing in front of the memorial stone when Danzo approaches him about joining Root. He decided to give it a try after Danzo talks to him about how Hiruzen ordered the kids to be kept out of the battle, preventing Kakashi and his friends from being there to do anything that might have saved Kushina and Minato.

Just like in canon, Kakashi ends up turning on Danzo when he gets the orders for Hiruzen’s assassination, and take’s hiruzen’s place when the attack is meant to happen. He still faces off against Tenzo (who he has already met at this point), and ends up going his separate ways from Root.

Hiruzen decides to keep Kakashi in Anbu, but he is no longer strictly a Hokage’s guard. At this point he starts going on propper Anbu missions, and quickly make’s a name for himself with his team and his enemies as ‘The Hound’.

#Team Runaway Au

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ajokeformur-ray · 7 years

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Hello erika! Loving your blog here. It is as the previous anon said- very inspiring. I love it! 😘😘 Anyway, might I request an Itachixreader just pure fluff? Where the reader forcefully yet kindly let's itachi know his true worth in her life and comforting and cuddling and just pure itachi loving?? I have a craving for the dude here... it's starting up again haha. Hoping you are well. Take care!

Hi there!! Thank you :) Ahhhhhh the time-old issue of Itachi feels. Got’cha! Hope this itches that particular scratch. I really went to town on this one, just letting my fingers do the work while I daydreamed of Itachi. Nothing in here was planned xD

The two of you were lying together in your bed, fingers interlocked in the space between your faces, one of your legs loosely in between his underneath the summer duvet. Itachi had gotten back from a mission several hours ago, his long raven locks still damp from the shower he’d taken to wash away the blood, sweat, tears and general grime. Though he hadn’t told you much about it, you knew that there was something weighing him down. Rather than press him into speaking of it, you had simply tugged him towards the bedroom and cuddled him. Perhaps your touch could wash away what mere words couldn’t.

You also knew that Itachi didn’t like to be left alone with his thoughts when he was already feeling out of sorts, so you’d told him all about your day, speaking quietly and calmly. Itachi had stayed silent, his onyx eyes fixed on your face intently, analysing you as he did everything else. When you told him of that particular thing that had stuck in your mind, he would squeeze your hand briefly before letting his grip slacken. When you told him of a good thing, he would learn over and chastely kiss your cheek, his face staying near yours for a second longer than strictly necessary. He needed you, you knew, and you’d do anything to bring your Itachi back to himself.

Soon enough though, your tales were over and the two of you lapsed into silence. You leaned over and rested your forehead against Itachi’s, breathing in his scent. He smelled of light spice, and his hands were warm and strong in your own. His toned legs put a heavy but reassuring weight over your own leg, and you could feel sleep tugging at your conscious, waves of sleepiness washing over you as Morpheus attempted to lure you into his arms.

Slow enough to bring goosebumps to the surface of your skin, Itachi slid his hand out of yours and trailed it teasingly slowly up your arm, your neck, and then rested it against your cheek. Your skin tingled under his gentle touch and you nuzzled closer to him. Automatically, Itachi moved his arm so that you could cuddle into his chest. Your legs tangled together even more than they were before until the two of you were practically molded together. Nothing was sexual about it, though. It was just two souls finding and answering the call of the other, and two bodies comforting the other.

Itachi inhaled deeply through his nose and on the exhale, his rich voice broke the silence, “What do you see in me, Y/N?”

You froze, feeling as though someone had just dumped a bucket of ice cold water down your back. Itachi caught the tension in your muscles and his previously warm gaze sharpened, reading your body language.

“Why would you ask me something like that?” At Itachi’s slightly disappointed look, you knew that this was not the moment to become indignant or insulted. Itachi needed this answer, you realised. Whatever had happened during the mission had shaken him, gotten under his skin, and he needed you to extract whatever metaphorical poison now lay within him.

You inhaled slowly and then said, “I see a life with you, Itachi. A future.”

Now Itachi froze and you felt yourself relax - his wall had inevitable come down, crumbling and falling around him and leaving him completely and utterly exposed to the elements of reality. You were his precious Y/N and with the tools and keys he had given you, it was your honour to help him rebuild himself back up.

Something within the way Itachi’s eyes went glassy with unshed tears told you that it was time to ask That Question. “What happened out there, my love?” You kept your voice quiet, calm, your free hand letting go of his in favour of winding your fingers in his gorgeous hair, stroking the still-damp strands in an effort to soothe him while he bore his soul to you.

Looking at a spot just behind you, Itachi fell silent for just a moment and then he opened his mouth and everything poured out. “I could not save one of my comrades. We were ambushed and while we were prepared, we were not prepared for the sheer number of them. There was nothing we could do for her - she had been hit by too many kunai before we could reach her, each of us outnumbered. I tried, but I -” Itachi bowed his head and you saw his shoulders shake from the force of the sobs he tried so hard to keep quiet.

Even now, after everything, he felt that he had to hide from you.

Few people in his life had ever seen Itachi being more than just an expendable weapon. He was one of the best shinobi in Konoha, but he was nothing more than a way for the village to get money, for the ANBU to have a team member to fight alongside them. Before the Massacre - something you had almost been sick after hearing about what he had had to go through - his parents had cherished him, loved him. And after that… He was a rogue. He had no one. But by some miracle, by some stroke of luck in the universe… His heart was in your hands, and yours was in his.

You gathered him in your arms, pulling him even tighter against you. He decided it wasn’t enough though, he needed more, and so he lowered himself down onto you, his ear at your heartbeat. The weight of him was reassuring, but you weren’t the one who needed the comfort. It was Itachi who needed the comfort, now more than ever. He felt inadequate, you could see. He felt like he couldn’t protect you, like he wasn’t good enough for you, all because he took responsibility for his comrades’ death. Death was written in the job description for all shinobi, this you knew, and yet this one had affected Itachi. He had seen something of you in his comrade and it had affected him badly.

Feeling helpless but knowing you had to say something, to remove some of the all-consuming guilt, you stroked his hair and his back in firm, even movements as you murmured, “It wasn’t your fault, Itachi. You couldn’t have known about the ambush and you couldn’t have guessed the numbers. It was not. Your. Fault.”

He only cried harder and you felt your heart breaking. He needed you, your voice, your touch, and so you continued, letting your innermost thoughts of Itachi, usually kept locked in your heart and on the tip of your tongue, pour out. You had to make him see, somehow, that he was always more than enough for you but more importantly, for himself. So rarely did Itachi let himself go like this and it only made sense that he was grieving for more than his fallen friend in this moment.

“I see in you a future with my best friend. From the very first day we met, you’ve known me better than I know myself. You’re so intellectual and so perceptive that you see in people what they don’t see in themselves. You’re my best friend, my guiding light, my moral compass. You motivate me, you inspire me, you make me laugh, cry... You’re always there. We’ve argued before but you’ve never gotten angry with me, choosing instead to respect my perspective of things and then voicing your own calmly. You’re selfless, compassionate, hard-working, strong... Devilishly attractive -” Despite his mood, you felt him smile against your skin, “And you’re with me. You’re not mine, you’re your own person, but you stay with me and I stay with you. What happened today wasn’t your fault. Shinobi work to defend, to protect, and you tried to save her. You tried, which is better than simply not bothering. I love you, Itachi. I love you and it hurts me to see you hurting.”

There was a heavy silence and you held your breath, watching, waiting. Had you said something wrong?

Itachi pushed himself up so that some of the weight was eased off of you, using his elbows to keep himself balanced, his tear-streaked face hovering over yours. You exhaled gently and pulled your arms free and wiped his tears away, pressing a kiss to each cheek. Itachi captured one of your wrists in his - he was now precariously balanced on one elbow - and pressed a tender kiss to the pulse point on the underside.

“Thank you, Y/N. Thank you.”

“Of course, Itachi. Anything for you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” His deep eyes met yours and your breath caught in your throat. His eyes were sparkling from the remnants of tears and they were slightly bloodshot but he was stunning. Itachi leaned down and rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed, and slowly he eased his weight back onto you, looping his arms around your neck and he rolled so that now you were on top of him, your face buried in his neck and locked in the safe cage of his arms.

The time for words was gone. Now, there was only time for silence and cuddles. Itachi wasn’t okay but whatever barrier had previously lain between you was gone now, leaving two bared souls to navigate through life with each other, safe in the knowledge that their love was real and true.

Naruto tags: @tsukuyomi011 (tagged in case you don’t get notified), @cardboard-box-of-stuff @amoureux-de-la-litterature

#tsukuyomi011 #itachi #itachi uchiha #naruto #naruto imagine #itachi oneshot #all the fluff and a dash of angst #i love this so much omg

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darkpetal16 · 7 years

Text

A Piece of Kakashi’s Point of View During the Angst

Exactly as the title said. When I see the reviews I get, it makes me all happy and warm inside and ignites my muse. I wasn’t planning on doing Kakashi’s POV, but for you guys I will in the next chapter.

Here’s a piece of it.

Kakashi took a deep breath, feeling his heart slowly settle down as the All-Clear signal shot throughout the sky to signify that the last hostile had been defeated. It was well on into the evening and Kakashi felt a little tired. Not enough to warrant any concern; he never encountered an enemy of equal caliber to face. The only thing that provided any significant stress for him was the countless civilians and property he had to be mindful of, in addition to the sheer quantity of pests he had to deal with.

He was entirely unscathed (unsurprisingly), and despite the grim situation, he was content (as long as he ignored the nagging sense of worry he had over his students, he was at least). He felt confident that his students survived the invasion (he knew for certain that Naruto would be next to impossible to kill due to Kyuubi, he personally saw Sakura off to the medical tent, and Sasuke was too cunning to die to the low caliber of Otogakure shinobi).

Still, it would be irresponsible of him not to check in on his students.

And if it assuaged the tiny bit of concern he had towards them, well that was merely a bonus.

Naruto and Sasuke were the easiest to track down, since the ANBU team personally secured duo as soon as they could and took them to one of the high-security hospitals that was left standing. All he had to do was pop in and the ANBU guarding the duo allowed him to see him without any fuss.

Naruto was covered in bandages, but snoring heavily and looking utterly pleased with himself. Kakashi knew he would be recovered by the next day, if that. Sasuke was a little worse for wear, as he lacked Naruto’s two-fold regeneration, and concussions were tricky. A quick glance over his clipboard confirmed that the Uchiha would have to be on light-training for a month, at least.

With that being settled, Kakashi returned to the medical tent in search of his… spirited kunoichi. He was surprised that she had already been sent home, but after a split-second of realizing the time, not really.

‘She’s probably already asleep,’ Kakashi thought as he slowly made his way towards her home. ‘Her parents are civilians so they’re probably a nervous wreck and clinging onto her. I’ll make sure her chakra signature is there, then head home. No need to cause a scene.’

When he entered her neighborhood, a tiny seed of worry settled in the pit of his stomach. A foreboding sense entered his mind, and he unconsciously braced himself for quite a scene.

He did not expect to find Sakura hyperventilating in her destroyed home with two little black scrolls in front of her.

Kakashi was frozen the moment he saw her.

Not good. Bad, bad, bad.

Despite Naruto’s quick temper, Sakura was the most emotional member of his team. THough never one to dwell on negative emotions (though Kaksahi was getting a sneaky feeling about why that was the case), she was passionate in positive things and prone to openly sharing her affection towards all those around her. Including strangers.

For fuck’s sake she was prepared to argue with her sensei over the lives of two missing-nin.

She was a bleeding heart that endlessly poured out optimism.

When confronted with pessimism, or things deemed “negative” she reacted by not reacting at all. She clearly had a habit of repressing unwanted things, so Kakashi had to conclude that she lacked the experience in dealing with traumatic, or otherwise unfortunate events. In the life of a kunoichi, or shinobi, where death and horrific things were abundant, that lack of experience was highly dangerous.

Naruto, at least, didn’t ignore his feelings. He struggled to deal with them, but at least he was doing something about them.

Sasuke openly embraced his anger and used it as a weapon. Strictly textbook, he was behaving like a perfect little shinobi.

Sakura, though, didn’t deal. She didn’t acknowledge. She didn’t do anything except try to smile through.

That kind of behavior, if not rectified early, shattered shinobi and kunoichi.

Kakashi would know.

It’s what almost did him in.

Kakashi had planned on setting her up with a Yamanaka psychiatrist after the exams (as Chuunin were required for an annual psychological evaluation), along with her other teammates. Therapy never worked for him, but he hoped it would be enough for her.

Unfortunately, life struck before he had the chance to do that.

So here his student was, having a panic attack, and Kakashi was at a loss at what to do.

‘One thing at a time.’

Right.

Kakashi flickered before her, and placed his hand on her shoulder. Her body stiffened and her wild eyes moved up to meet his. He kneeled in front of her, placing his other hand over her mouth. “Calm down. Breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out.”

It took a solid five minutes before her breathing settled down that Kakashi felt reasonably confident she wouldn’t pass out. He slowly withdrew his hands. “Do you have family in the village?”

She shook her head, bits of her hair sticking to the dried blood on her cheek. Her pained green eyes trailed over to the two black scrolls on the table, and sheer agony rippled across her face. Kakashi’s chest tightened uncomfortably at that, and he stood back up. “Can you walk?”

She nodded her head, then after a small pause, she shakily tried to stand up. The moment she put pressure on her legs, though, they folded. Kakashi quickly grabbed her before she could fall, and he realized she was shivering slightly.

‘She’s freezing,’ he thought. ‘Okay, if I were her age--No. What did I want someone to do for me after I saw my father?’

‘Away. I wanted to get away from that house as fast as I could.’

“Wh-What about K-Kaa-chan and T-Tou-chan?” she choked out. Kakashi readjusted his grip on her before he pocketed the two scrolls. Then he shifted his stance and he ran as fast as he could to his apartment. It was in the ANBU district, which was heavily guarded, so it was untouched by the invasion. He had to set her down for a brief minute before he could unlock the door, but it wasn’t long before he brought her inside and took her straight towards the bathroom.

‘Hot water. She has to warm up,’ he thought before practically tossing her inside his bathroom (and silently thanking himself for doing laundry before today, so there were no dirty clothes for her to… creep on). Then he summoned Pakkun, and hoped his favorite companion would be able to take care of the rest because he sure as shit had no idea what to do.

Kakashi shut the door with a little too much haste than what was otherwise necessary, but he felt distinctly uncomfortable.

Then he summoned the rest of his Pack.

When in doubt, ask the dogs.

“You all know Sakura,” he began. “Her parents died in the invasion today.”

“Does she have a place to stay?” Urushi asked immediately.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. “Uh. No. Well, actually she can stay here.”

Bull cocked his head. “Do you even have a guest room?”

Kakashi shook his head. No one stayed over at his place. He didn’t typically allow people inside his apartment to begin with. He could count on one hand the number of people he would allow to visit him at his place, and even less he would allow to crash on the couch. He never bothered with purchasing a spare futon because of that, or setting up a guest room.

Bisque made a disapproving sound. “Then you better hurry up and buy one. Get her some clothes, too, since she probably doesn’t have a spare.”

“Don’t forget the underwear,” Shiba added. When Kakashi’s face colored, the pack chuckled at him. “Don’t be a prude. She’s your student, and she needs help. What would Minato-sama do?”

“Buy her clothes,” Kakashi admitted, then sighed. “Okay.” He made a clone, gave said clone his wallet, and sent it off. “Now what?”

Guruko sniffed loudly. “Did she eat?”

“I--I don’t think so. Right. Feed her. Got it.”

“The poor pup will need some affection,” Uhei murmured. “She’s always so bright, and her kaa-chan was very affectionate, wasn’t she? She’ll need that affection now more than ever.”

The pack, as one, looked at the growing-flustered Kakashi, before they exchanged exasperated looks. Bull answered for them, “We will provide that affection, pup. Don’t look so panicked.”

Relief settled over Kakashi, along with a mild sense of indignation. He could be affectionate.

Probably.

Maybe.

Then again, given who needed the affection, it would probably be best if he kept his affections to a minimum. It would be tremendously awful if he gave her the wrong impression during such a difficult time.

Besides, the pack was more experienced at this sort of thing than Kakashi was. The pack was the single reason Kakashi was still alive (figuratively and literally). While he would never take his life, like his father, he wasn’t above taking on suicidal missions. If his dogs hadn’t nursed him ever since he lost his father, he doubted even Minato-sensei’s light would have been able to reach him.

The clone returned, then, and he made a couple more to start cooking dinner and clearing the office. Once enough room was made to lay down the futon, he dismissed them and finished up dinner. He brought it back to the room, and before he had a chance to set it down, Sakura and Pakkun presented themselves. “Um.”

She stood awkwardly in the doorway, no longer covered in dried blood, but a heavy weight seemingly pressed down on her. There wasn’t that familiar gleam of--of--love in her eyes--

Until she noticed him, and for split second Kakashi could see that spark, and he was filled with so much relief his shoulder sagged.

The spark was gone, though, and the worry returned. Kakashi straightened his shoulders, and cocked his head towards the bed. “Sit.”

She hesitated for a brief moment before she sat down. Bull pulled the covers over her lap, and the pack converged around her to form a tight circle. A ghost of a smile danced across her lips at that before disappearing when Pakkun sat in her lap. Kakashi squatted beside her, outside the circle, and handed her a bowl of fried rice.

“Eat,” Kakashi ordered. “I don’t care if you’re not hungry. You need to eat. Drink the tea, too, it’lll… it’ll help you sleep.”

Sakura nodded, and began to meticulously eat. The longer the silence stretched on, the more worried Kakashi felt. Even after losing her patients, she still--she still talked to him. She flirted, and teased, but she did none of that there. She was… lifeless.

Defeated.

Kakashi felt distinctly--distinctly--

He felt very much not okay with that. He didn’t like seeing her like that one bit.

‘Minato-sensei would know what to do. He’d know the right words to say that would make her smile.’

‘Obito would be able to make her laugh.’

‘Rin would be able to comfort her.’

‘Anyone would be better than me.’

Shit. He had to rely on his dogs to comfort her because he was so awkward with it. Here he was concerned about her lack of experience dealing with crap like that, and he still refused to deal with it for others. Here was a prime time to earn that experience, and he shoved it off on his dogs.

Kakashi rubbed at his face, putting those unhelpful thoughts away for the moment. Thinking about himself when Sakura needed him was unacceptable. He would deal with his demons eventually, but right now he had to deal with her’s.

When she was done eating, he put away her dishes and told her to get some sleep.

He didn’t know why he was actually surprised when she said she couldn’t.

He definitely was surprised when she said she was to blame for her parents’ death.

The idea was laughable to Kakashi, in a twisted sense of how he could perfectly understand why she would feel that way. He didn’t dig the katana through his father’s guts, but he shunned him like the rest of the villagers. He didn’t force Obito to take his place, but his carelessness gave Obito the opportunity to sacrifice himself for Kakashi. He didn’t get Rin kidnapped, but his lack of strength resulted in her death nonetheless.

He could tell himself over and over it wasn’t his fault.

He would never believe himself, though.

The idea that Sakura was about to enter that same kind of cycle as him was simply awful. He wouldn’t even wish it upon his worst enemy, let alone his favorite student.

When she began to sob uncontrollably, he instinctively reached out in a vain hope to comfort her. She threw himself into his arms, and for once he didn’t feel quite so distressed with her physical contact.

He didn’t even mind that his shirt was thoroughly covered in tears and snot within the hour.

All he wanted--all he could think about--was that he wished he could make her smile.

#kakashi #sakura #kakasaku #how to obtain a reverse harem in Naruto #darkpetal16 #oc #angst #comfort

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