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#but i actually did a lot of work today
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one thing about ik is that she will always reach out
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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ghostespresso · 10 months
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staff logging on to tumblr dot com today
#staff sweetie i Promise you an algorithm would kill this webbed site#changing the way reblogs look/work would Absolutely kill this webbed site too#this is a Blogging Platform i dont want it to be like tiktok or twitter jesus#if you NEED to change something literally listen to the the Tumblr Users you pretend you cant hear#if money is what you need make your userbase Happy and you should be fine#the shop is fine blaze posts are fine ad free subscriptions are fine but dont get rid of shit that Works For You in favor of making money#someone really laced up their clown boots today im. so tired staff please dont#tumblr staff#EDIT: staff updated their original post to say we were all misunderstanding but#that doesnt stop the post from being stupid#the whole post was worded for Investors and then presented to the userbase#if you say 'we have big changes planned!' and dont put in the 'as options' its Your Fault that people read it as 'were changing everything'#staff isnt stupid. they know how they Should have worded it better than what they did#so yeah. someone Did lace up their clown boots before they hit post#edit pt 2 lol for the record i dont think tumblr would actually go through with all their changes in that post#they know how the userbase is and there are A Lot of us#i just dont like how? idk. condescending? the post sounded#and out of every place on the internet being being burned alive in the name of money#tumblr is the one place i know enough about to be Actually mad at lol#ive really liked some stuff staff has done in recent years#but talking to your userbase that way wasnt one
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yangjeongin · 1 year
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HYUNJIN | D'FESTA THE MOVIE
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midnightclover · 3 months
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Summon Night: Swordcraft Story (ATLUS, 2003)
#my actual posts lol#haha what if i made a daily diary post thing like nico#..i was just thinking#today was a good day#and i thought of this song#ive been playing summon night swordcraft story a lot as of late.. though none today actually#its still on my mind though#i considered using dweller empty path's song flying through a stary sky instead.. but this is what i thought of first#i think it fits best to use it#i actually had to jump through some hoops to upload music!#cus my tumblr app is kinda old.. i cant properly upload music. i could only put a link#which isnt exactly ideal#so i tried in my web browser.. but maybe its cus i havent updated it in a while or maybe just cus its tor.. it didnt work#so i downloaded firefox and did it on there lol#now im editing it in my drafts back on the app#dont ask why im not just doing it on my computer... shes having some technical difficulties. we're working on it#but not today#...#today was pretty eventful.. even if not very productive. but ive never been a very productive person#we went and saw some light festival thing! it was rly nice.. a little simple at times but it was fun#we went and got some yummy snacks earlier too! tho ive already eaten them all hehe#and i started up animal crossing new leaf. i hadnt played it in ages! its startling how much better it is than new horizions.. imo at least#only problem is i couldnt make it the same as my island.. and i didnt remember why i named my last town#we searched for a while for some reference or somfin to name it after.. but we ended up just going with ''faraway''#cus i liked the idea of being asked where im going.. and just saying far far away#and as beth said it has a kinda fairytail vibe!#...only after i named it did i realize i accidentally named it after the town in omori. oops!#...im about to hit the tag limit. so whoevers still listening i just want u to know..#i love you. ok?#goodnight
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helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3
some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it
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cerise-on-top · 11 days
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Could you make a cute alphabet for Valeria?
Hey! Sure!
Fluff Alphabet for Valeria
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
While Valeria does love going shopping with you above most things, she’d actually love nothing more than to go stargazing with you. Although she has no idea why, she actually really likes looking at the stars and knows a few stories behind some of the constellations as well. Not very many, but she can tell you a few. She isn’t even that into space, but something about looking at the endless universe and realizing its beauty just gets to her. Loves doing that with you whenever she can.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
She loves the fact that you speak your mind whenever you feel like it. Valeria doesn’t particularly like guessing games and the uncertainties that come with them, she’d much rather have all the information she can get from the get go. So you telling her what you think without sugarcoating everything is a nice change of pace since everyone else usually hides things from her to get on her good side. You’re honest, sometimes even blunt, and she can truly appreciate that.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
If someone hurt you, then she’d go after them and teach them a lesson. A not very kind and gentle one, mind you. Anyone who makes you feel bad deserves to freeze in the ninth circle of hell, being chewed on by the devil himself. However, if you’re feeling sad for no apparent reason, then she’ll try to distract you by taking you on a shopping spree or getting you your favorite food. She’s not at all good at comforting people, but she tries. If you have a panic attack she’d try the same thing, except she’d speak a bit more softly with you than before.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
Somewhere in a nice mansion, with a few trustworthy maids, where everything manages itself, she’d share her empire with you. On the one hand she doesn’t want you involved in the slightest in all of it, but on the other hand she sort of wants you to become as successful as she is in her business. She’d love to rule over the cartel with you, she’d love for you to be as cunning as she is. However, she knows that likely won’t ever happen, largely because she’s just that careful, but she can dream about it.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
Valeria is dominance personified. Sure, you can make some suggestions and she’s more inclined to listen to you than someone else, but she wears the pants and it’s blatantly obvious in your relationship. Whatever she says goes, even if you can get into fights because of that. If she tells you to hide, you will. If she tells you to not tell a single soul about your relationship, you won’t. Although she may not always know everything, she usually knows what’s best and what she’s doing. She wants the both of you to be safe.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
I don’t think she’d forgive easily, not even you. She can be a very petty woman, even with you. While I don’t think she’ll let it out on you as much, she would definitely yell at you when she’s angry enough. Sure, she’ll try to be more on the rational side with you, but her anger gets the better of her and she’ll raise her voice at you. If you start crying then she’ll calm down a bit and forgive you more easily, in fact she might try to yell a bit less as well. However, it takes a proper apology from you for her to forgive you.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
It may not seem like she’s all that grateful to have you around, but she is thankful for you. She doesn’t have a lot of time for you, she sometimes gets hurt for one reason or another and doesn’t always tell you, when she’s home she doesn’t always take care of the chores. However, she’s truly grateful for you to care for her as much as you do, she doesn’t take it for granted. She does try to spend time with you whenever she can, she tries not to worry you with her injuries when she has some, she does try to do the chores but she’s usually too tired to do them once she’s home. However, she’ll try to show her gratitude by buying you expensive things. Again, she’s not good at being affectionate.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Yes, there are plenty of things she doesn’t tell you about. She doesn’t particularly like talking about her past all that much, even if it wasn’t all that traumatic either. Unless you somehow know about her having been part of the Mexican army, she won’t mention that either, having had too many regrets there to properly enjoy talking about it. If you ask her about her past then she’ll give you a cocky grin and tell you to figure it out on your own if you want to know about it so badly. Valeria may love you, but you really don’t need to know everything about her, some things are better swept under the rug.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
I think Valeria may have become a somewhat more kind and patient person once she’s been with you for a while. She’s a businesswoman, so she knows how to deal with ne’er-do-wells. However, if you ask her to spare someone’s life, if you tell her to not be as mad at her people for messing up, then she might listen to you. You’d be the only reason some people are still alive at that point. Sometimes she’d remember what you said and might become a bit nicer. It doesn’t happen very often, she has a business to run, but it happens.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Valeria is a very jealous person. Someone talking to you for too long, you talking about someone in a more adoring tone than you should, someone being too friendly with you, it all pisses her off. Especially if that person makes you uncomfortable. She’ll get pissy and cranky, she’ll tell that dumb bastard to fuck off and leave you alone. She won’t claim you as hers in public, she won’t sling her arm around you or anything, but she will glare at anyone too close to you. Also not afraid of telling you how ticked off she actually is. Give her a lot of attention and she’ll calm down again.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
Yes, Valeria is a very good kisser. Back when she was still single, women would actually flock to her just to feel her tender touch and kisses, that would leave anyone breathless. She knows what she’s doing and she does it so incredibly well, she’ll always leave you yearning for more of her. I think your first kiss was her pinning you against the wall and just going for it, after she made sure you liked her as well. She loves feeling like the bigger person and flustering you whenever she can.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
It would be such an expensive, elaborate thing. You’ll be going to the most expensive restaurant, you’ll be going to see a musical or an opera and then she’ll buy you a nice gift. Basically anything to please you and court you in her own way. She has too much money anyway, so why not spend it on you when she can? Afterwards, ever so confident, she’ll tell you that she likes you in a romantic manner. While she may be a bit nervous about your reaction, she tries not to seem too anxious about it all. She can usually play it off well enough.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
On the one hand, she sort of does want to get married, on the other hand, she really doesn’t. Does she really want that sort of commitment to someone for the rest of her life? The thought scares her. Besides, she wants to keep you safe as well, so she can’t really afford to marry you as she is. Just being partners is enough for her, in all honesty. She leans towards not wanting to marry you, but her situation could change at any point in time and she might want to someday.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
Cariño/a or querido/a, she really doesn’t like going for anything more fancy or romantic. She’s not a verbally affectionate person in the first place. And even then, she usually just calls you that when she’s drunk. She’s more affectionate when drunk anyway, but her Spaniglish is hard to understand for someone who doesn’t speak both languages.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
She tries courting you immediately as soon as she’s figured out she’s in love with you. Lots of gifts, tries to spend more time with you. Hell, she might just send you some money just because she can as well, especially if you need some. It’s not too obvious she’s in love, it only seems like she’s playing favorites, which she definitely is. She expresses her feelings by taking you on lots of coffee dates and just talking to you. If you’re very close then she’ll invite you to her home as well.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
She keeps your relationship a secret from the world. She’s a very dangerous woman, she could have anyone killed within days. However, she could, in turn, also be killed at any point in time. The same goes for you if anyone were to ever find out about the both of you. She really doesn’t brag about you, she doesn’t like PDA either and will actively advise you against being affectionate with her in public. All of that stuff stays behind closed doors.
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
If you’re ever afraid to talk to someone, she’s got you. You want to change your order? You wanna make a new friend? You wanna compliment that stranger on their cool shirt? Valeria can easily do all of that and more for you. She talks to many people on the daily anyway, among them lots of strangers. She’s not afraid of talking to people, quite the opposite, she’s very good at talking to them. She may be blunt like barely anyone else, but she’s got a certain charm and charisma as well to her. If you’re on her good side, then chances are you’re settled for life.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
She’s not very romantic. Sure, she’ll cuddle with you on the couch when she has the time and watch a movie with you, but she won’t call you any embarrassing nicknames and dance in the rain with you. She’s far too practical for that. In fact, she doesn’t really like most romantic gestures in the first place. She’s not averse to them, but if she doesn’t have to hug you from behind then she won’t complain about it either. She loves you, don’t get me wrong, but she’s not a romantic at heart.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Valeria supports you, I can tell you that much. She has enough money to buy the world if she wanted to, so she can buy you just about anything you may want or need. You wanna learn how to drive? Here’s a Porsche. You wanna become a world renowned chef? Tell her what ingredients you need and they’ll be delivered to your door the next day. She may not have the most encouraging words for you, but she tries to help you in a way that doesn’t feel awkward to her either. She tries really hard for you, even if she may not always succeed at it.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
She doesn’t particularly need anything new all the time. Sure, sometimes she’d like to go to a new country with you, if she has the time, but she doesn’t get that urge very often. She really does prefer doing the same things with you over and over again when she can. However, that’s a rarity in and of itself since she’s not at home very often, so she doesn’t get to see you a lot either. That’s probably the reason why she prefers having a routine in the first place, she doesn’t always have one at work.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
She probably knows you very well. She’s a very observant woman, so she can tell when you’re upset, when you’re happy or when you need something from her, for example. However, she’s not an empathetic person at all. She really can’t feel what you’re feeling, but it doesn’t bother her either. Empathy would just get in her way at work, so she really prefers it that way. That way she can judge situations more objectively as well. She’s not a very emotional person, except when she’s angry.
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
The relationship is pretty important to her, but I don’t think she’d want to give up her cartel for you. As mentioned before, she’s not a very romantic person. She values her status as El Sin Nombre a lot and wants to be respected by everyone. She worked hard to get where she wants to be and she really doesn’t wanna give all of that up. Sure, she values you more than many other people, but she won’t give up her job for you.
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
Every year she looks forward to going to a Christmas market with you. If it wasn’t for you, she wouldn’t celebrate that holiday in the first place, but she does like going to a Christmas market, taking in all the colors, drinking some hot beverages and maybe going on a ferris wheel with you as well. Even if you really don’t wanna go, she’ll drag you there at least once a year. Naturally, she’ll be the one to pay for everything, but she will feel a lot of sentiment if you pay for her this time around.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
She’s not a very affectionate person. She may praise you for a task well done, but she won’t be overly romantic with you. She sometimes likes kissing and cuddling, usually she doesn’t mind it, and sometimes she absolutely abhors any and all physical affection. Naturally, she’ll tell you how she feels that day. She much prefers to show her affections through spending time with you at a cafe and talking to you and giving you gifts over cuddling in bed all day. It’s truly rare for Valeria to initiate any sort of physical affection. Except when she’s drunk, she’s more inclined to cuddle then.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
She usually just calls you when she can, no need to beat around the bush too much. She doesn’t keep a picture of you on her out of fear of something happening to you, so her options are limited. Sometimes she thinks about the things she’d like to do with you once she finally gets back to you again. However, she’s usually too busy to miss you too much anyway. Tries to get back to you as soon as possible, though.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Valeria would kill and torture for you. She breaks the law on the regular anyway, but for you she’d break every law at once. If you’ve been together for a very long time, then she’ll take a literal bullet for you as well. It’s not often someone gets that sort of privilege, so you should feel really honored. She’d have some of her men killed just to make sure you get to smile again. You’re more important than them anyway. So yeah, Valeria would go to great lengths just to make you happy.
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disdaidal · 3 months
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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ch1zzie · 4 months
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Some Julie's and idk a little thingy for today
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daincrediblegg · 2 months
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Nothing wrong with me
#behold: the sowed seeds of my upped vitamin d dose#just would like to say that part of this is sponsored by a couple of very kind inboxers who reached out and said that they DID want to know#more about lady terror and which really helped reinvigor my motivations#and I WILL be answering those asks soon enough#(harder to do until I have my laptop back. like I’m sorry y’all I literally wish I knew what I was on in 2019 when I was writing all my#joker headcanon fics on my phone but I cannot replicate that and I dare not even try#)… but regardless it will happen#but also yeah so this is a 6 page chapter summary for the fic and I’ve just started on chapter 2 and this will help a lot when#I get my computer back I think I’ve cleared my head a lot about this fic while not having it#but anyway#yeah uh…#egg’s wip’s#moral of the story is telling people you wanna hear about their oc’s that they’ve been working on for a whole year works#also went down a classical music rabbit hole about it today if that’s of interest to anyone but… me#bc one of my students did a presentation on poe’s impact on music theory and danse macabre which incited me to get familliar with composers#and pieces that would have actively been known in the 1840’s and have wanted to do since that bit about schubert on crozier’s hand organ#got dropped in the scripts#I think they’re going to feud on classical music tastes#average beethoven and chopin stan vs schubert enjoyer FIGHT#(except the serenade. that song was actually written about lady terror I’ve decided)#also thinking about lady terror and poe bc he’s said himself music is the highest art. they are concert buddies for sure#I bet that mf liked beethoven. poe is a big bass guy if I’ve ever seen one#it’s the drama you see
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warmspice · 20 days
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orionis13 · 10 months
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This has been in my portfolio for months but I realized I never actually posted it oops heres some arcade lesbians for u <3
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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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daisywords · 5 months
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it's Gideon the Ninth Friday in this house
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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seariii · 2 months
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I was stressed but now i'm more chill and really sleepy...
#overall my mood has been better but i am so incredibly terrified of the future... its like....#like i feel as if someone has holding me at gun point and got told thst if i did any mistakes they would shoot#but then im not given clear instructions on what i need to do and i have to figure it out myself#i am really scared... even tho all of this gave me a new objective... i dont wanna be obsolete...#... so... that what we will work on... also... i wanna work towards my dreams...#I've been putting it off for so long i want to do it#people support me and actually enjoy my voice... i want to...#the things on my plate right now are things i can achieve... but i want more... i want things i actually want...#i want...#my house has a constant buzzing sound. i believe its because of the small power plant behind the lot. which makes it difficult for recording#since i have to get rid of that and that messes with the rest of the audio#its comforting to know it wasnt the mic tho... heh...#tomorrow lets try to take the first few steps... well more like lets try to continue with the set up#we have already a couple stuff but we still have a lot missing...#... today the girls said some stuff that impressed me... thats how im perceived?... is that what people think of me?#i kinda want to... fulfill those 'expectations'... they dont expect anything but its more of a me thing... ive been dreaming and hoping for#so long but i dont take the next step. i never do... and its because of the executive dysfunction... but... once i get the hang of it...#once i do... everything will be excellent... and we will take it easy#i am so tired already... i feel im gonan falla sleep#seari talks
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