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littlewestern · 2 months

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I must inquire about your feelings on douglas and oliver 👀

(Tags by @mean-scarlet-deceiver)

Absolutely! These tags are fantastic, and I think this is a great time to talk about a phenomenon I've noticed in certain fandoms. I don't have a word for it yet, but something that can happen, especially in cases like this where a ship is sort of a foregone conclusion (either for lack of options for the characters or - in this case - because there's one really compelling point of shared development), is that it can often feel like we are *supposed* to ship something, and that there aren't any other options.

I think 10x11 is absolutely one of those ships, and I can totally understand why it might not work for some the same way it does for others. It's easy to fall into the trap of complacency or to feel like there's not actually anything there and the rest of the fandom is just shipping cardboard cutouts. And because everyone treats the ship as default, there's no one out here really up on their soapbox for it or making any groundbreaking content. It runs the risk of feeling stale.

Luckily, I'm here, and I do this shit for free. In point of fact, you couldn't pay me to stop. So let me make the case. Hopefully by the end of this we'll all come away with a better understanding of the characters, their relationship, and ourselves. (I like to aim high.)

So there are a few major pitfalls that this ship can succumb to right out of the gate that I think can frequently make this a harder sell as a romance specifically:

First, the rescue. The foundational text. Everyone loves Escape!, and for good reason. It's an extremely rich vein to mine for drama and feelings and having these characters bond in a way that feels complex and authentic and real... And it also can make a relationship founded on romantic love between them feel compulsory on the part of Oliver. This is not at all cool or fun or sexy or even really in-character, and I expect it's one of the reasons this ship can be hard to work with at times. To put them in a romantic context without any kind of examination of what is desired vs. what is owed feels rushed and disingenuous to me. If your only reason for shipping Oliver and Douglas is that one of them saved the others' life - full stop, no further examination required - this ship is going to be quite boring and a little iffy besides. This is a fantastic foundation, but it can't be the only thing holding them together, or else you've just reinvented the booktok romance novel.

The second pitfall is one that isn't the fandom's fault but is definitely worsened by years of fandom dilution: Oliver lacks a lot of direct and explicit characterization as a result of showing up late to the RWS party. He has this great origin story, fucks up once, gets a few funny scenes, and then about drops off the page. This leave shippers in a bit of a predicament, because really compelling character romance needs really compelling characters in the first place. Oliver has such a great backstory and that immediate bond we talked about with another well-developed character who also has a great backstory. It feels like it should be very easy to make this work, but it just... doesn't. Because Oliver in-canon is often a role-fill character. He's great, but no one (least of all the later season TVS writers) can seem to agree what his personality actually is, so he ends up being written to slot wherever he's needed or to achieve a specific narrative beat. The resultant 10x11 content which is informed by this feels flat and boring because if the only goal is for them to end up together, you simply have to write that happening and it occurs. Fandom Oliver often has no desires or wants outside of getting together with Douglas, his knight in shining paintwork, and it makes for dry reading.

So how do we reconcile this? What can we do with this information to make it work in favor of our desired outcome instead of as a hindrance to it? How do we use the facts to enhance our fiction?

The first key is remembering that Oliver is actually a little badass who, for 95% of his time on the run, did not actually need any help. The only reason he got to the point at which Douglas could come rescue him was because he fled under his own power from the southern part of the country all the way up to Barrow. His journey only ended there because they ran out of coal, which probably wouldn't have happened if Oliver hadn't also elected to take a coach and an unrelated break van along with him. Because, again, he's a badass. When the big engines say that Oliver has "resource and sagacity", they're absolutely correct. There's material to work with here, we just need to spin it out.

So let's start there. Let's give Oliver that plucky spark back, and have him be a wee bit peppery as a treat. A guy doesn't outrun packs of rabid diesels only to come out the other side a meek and obedient little bore. Let's really lean into his loyalty and bravery too, since an engine willing to risk his own life to save the lives of some lowly rolling stock must be both. And finally, let's also have him really appreciate that second chance he's been given! My favorite Oliver characterization is one that swings at every wild pitch just for the joy of feeling and moving and being alive.

What Douglas has given him isn't a debt, it is a gift, and paying him back doesn't mean feeling like he owes him anything, it means hitting the rails every day with as much enthusiasm and excitement and verve as a little engine possibly can. I like an Oliver that works hard and plays hard and - crucially to the relationship in question - I think Douglas likes this too. Here's a pair of guys who are both brave, loyal, adventurous, quick-thinking, generous, and god damned happy to be alive. Their experiences in Escape! shouldn't make them rescuer/rescuee, it should make them some of the only guys on the railway who know what it's like to look death in the face and laugh. They're equals, and more importantly, friends.

And maybe I buried the lede a little bit there, but I think this really is the crux of it. To me, this relationship is one that starts as a very long, very close friendship with that little bit of extra complexity always simmering below the surface and the little bit of weirdness of falling in love with the guy who saved your life isn't something that should be swept under the rug, it should be an active part of the core relationship conflict.

Oliver looks at Douglas and thinks: He's my best friend. I love him. He saved my life. I don't know whether that last thing is influencing the other two and I'm worried that trying to find out will ruin everything.

and Douglas looks at Oliver and thinks: He's my best friend. I love him. I saved his life. But I don't want him to think he owes me anything just because I did.

So Douglas is waiting on Oliver, and Oliver is waiting on his complicated feelings to resolve themselves. In the meantime, in Ray world, I like to imagine them carrying on a very raucous and boisterous friendship/working relationship involving a lot of pranks and good-natured ribbing, because I think the Little Western being the most efficient branch line while also being the one comprised nearly entirely of chucklefucks is hilarious.

I also like the idea that during all of this, Oliver is constantly going through romantic partners because, again, just happy to be alive here! But also because maybe if he finds the right engine those sticky feelings he has towards his bestie will go away. And all the while Douglas looks on and smiles and plays his cards very close to the chest.

Maybe even gets himself a girlfriend in the meantime.

I have this whole arc plotted out for a story I will never write where Douglas and Emily become an item and everyone else loses their minds because oohh it's just so cute and they look so great together.

Very suddenly Douglas has a girlfriend and also very suddenly Oliver does not have a best friend anymore. And (much to Oliver’s surprise) he’s kinda upset about it!

At first he thinks it has to be jealousy, because like... On one hand, he’s over the moon for Douglas. Douglas seems happier now, quicker to laugh and more easygoing (not that he wasn’t always). But on the other hand, they’re not hanging out as often anymore and it’s not really fair that Douglas lands the perfect partner on what is ostensibly his first attempt when Oliver’s been trying and failing at it for so long. He writes it off as him being jealous of Douglas and tries to put it out of his mind.

Except he sees them together, and he sees how happy Douglas is in-person and how Emily is nice enough but all wrong for him. For one thing, she’s the *safety* engine, which– ha! Douglas? Not the most risk-averse engine to ever grace Sir Topham Hatt’s Railway. For another thing, she’s not willing to go on any of Douglas’s more adventurous errands. Too, her more staid nature doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on Douglas at all, so it’s a source of friction in their relationship. Oliver delights a little bit at that, and goes out of his way to tell Douglas he’d be happy to see how fast they can get the goods train to the harbor, speed limits be damned, just because Emily won't like it.

When Oliver explains this to Mavis later (the third time they’ve rehashed this subject this week) she pauses to fix Ollie with a Look.

“Are you sure you’re not jealous of *Emily*?”

“That’s ridiculous,” Oliver scoffs, dismissing it before the words have really sunk in. “If I were jealous of… of her, I’d– I’d be–”

And then the other shoe drops.

“Oh.” “Mhmm.” “Oh no.” “MmHMM.”

Oliver has fucked another of his relationships, the only one that actually mattered in his estimation. And now he’s stuck, because this is the happiest Oliver’s ever seen his best friend. And a real best friend wouldn’t try to sabotage that just because he was too stupid to see what was plainly obvious to everyone. No, he has to be cool about this, and it’s going to nearly kill him.

But hey, look who else in the yard is single and pining over a Caledonian engine. You wanna have a Great Western Time about it?

Again, because I am a sucker for true romance, this sorts itself out in time. Douglas and Emily realize they're not actually that great a fit for one another, Oliver and Duck get as much out of their time together as they like before moving on, and Douglas and Oliver get to have a long overdue conversation about what they mean to each other - no jokes, no bullshit. I'm sure it would all be very cute and romantic, if I were the type to write that sort of thing.

In the meantime, I hope I've at least made a case for why this ship tickles me and where I think everyone can improve in their writing of it. Thanks for the ask, sorry it was so long!

#ttte #oliver #douglas #duck #theflyingkipper #asks #shipping meme #transmissions from the little western

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three--rings · 6 months

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So it turns out there were a lot of things from S2 I was waiting to pass judgement on until I saw how they played out and...I ended up not thrilled about. And it's all these little things that keep bothering me.

Things I'm not happy with in OFMD S2:

-Jim and Olu feel retconned into not being in love. Like I know we want to talk about happy polycule but it feels like they aren't even very close this season? They were even more of a secondary ship than Lucius and Pete in S1 but we got essentially no good Jim/Olu stuff in S2. Instead we got the Olu/Zheng Yi Sao romance which on paper sounds good, but lacked chemistry. Especially from Olu's side. I feel like they kept repeating that "break in your day" thing cause they didn't have anything else. IDK weird weird decisions were made. I don't mind the Jim/Archie stuff at all but that was also not given any real romance time. They kissed and then I guess that was that?

-While on the subject of Zhang Yi Sao...why was she there? Like, don't get me wrong, I love her character and her inclusion in the show, but while the build-up in the first few episodes was great, then...they did basically nothing with her. Her entire plan was foiled by a moron in a split second and then..IDK she's now just riding on the Revenge and not even in charge? She's come way down in the world and I don't like it.

-Izzy dying. I don't mind the death scene itself, (though i wanted Izzy's friends on the crew more involved) but I think having him die shifts the genre and is disappointing in a way that feels unlike this show. more to be said obviously but not in this post.

-Speaking of that scene I grow more and more annoyed with Izzy saying "they love you, Ed." Not because it's not a great sentiment that would be narratively meaningful, but because it's NOT DEMONSTRABLY TRUE. Who loves Ed on that crew? Maybe Fang? There was absolutely no moments between Ed and crew after ep 3. They tolerate him for Stede's sake is all I can say. They love Stede. They love Izzy. And then Ed just leaves them and they are probably relieved.

-the way the central problem the whole season with Ed and Stede was communication but they never actually do anything about that, just declare victory.

-the way there was no climax or resolution with any antagonist in the last episode, they just barely escape, swear revenge like they're gonna head into battle, and then retire. Which makes ZERO sense and it bothers me SO MUCH.

-The lack of Stede and Ed costuming. IDK if it's because I've been writing a fic for a year centered around the clothing but like the show feels incomplete if they're not getting to dress up. I was looking forward to Ed wearing more than his leathers and we got a rice sack. This is entirely a personal gripe and not important but, yeah.

-Zero focus on the crew and no new info about any of them. I was really, really looking forward to getting more backstory, more personal info on characters like Roach, Frenchie, Wee John, but no.

And yanno, the thing is that I'm not unhappy with what S2 GAVE us. I like most of it. I love eps 1-6. Though 6 is showing the pacing issues badly. But what I miss is what we DIDN'T get. None of the stuff on screen was bad per se or couldn't have fit into a very excellent, cohesive season of TV. But I feel like all the connective tissue, all the thematic resolution, all the stuff that would have made it shine was missing.

Like they had a bunch of notecards of great scenes and filmed them but forgot to write the parts to connect them in a meaningful way? IDK this season feels a little like a first draft?

Not eps 1-3 though. I feel like they were perfect, and then they ran out of time/energy to polish the rest. (4-5 were also great, but they could have fit in with the rest better ultimately.)

I feel like people who are happy with this season are like 'we got this moment and this scene!' and that's great and cool and I also love that moment but I'm still left unsatisfied by the whole, yanno. Sigh.

#ofmd #ofmd critical #ofmd meta #my meta #I started writing this like thursday but then lost my computer #so yeah #I don't hate it but it's flawed...

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averagesadperson · 2 years

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What type of kisses they like

Mikey, Draken, Chifuyu, Mitsuya, Takemichi x reader (separate)

Notes: This is my first time doing any kind of headcanons so it might be kinda messy! There might be a few grammar/spelling mistakes

Manjiro “Mikey” Sano ~ Collarbone kisses

Mikey really likes to cuddle, the two of you sitting on the couch, his face buried in you shoulder as he tv is on quietly in the background

Your hands playing with his undone hair, his eyes start to flutter close and he gently places his lips on you skin, one after the other

He giggles when he feels you jump slightly below him but continues anyway

Collarbone/neck kisses are just so intimate to him? Something you could 100% stop with little to no effort, but you don't

You let him litter your skin with kisses as he wraps his arms around you, just the two of you in the quiet of his room.

It’s a time he can let down his walls and just,,

Be with you

Plus if he’s lucky they’ll show up the next day-

Ken “Draken” Ryuguji ~ Top of the head kisses

This man is t a l l.

Nuff said.

But actually, Draken isn't one for over the top PDA, so top of the head kisses are perfect for him, they’re quick but filled with love.

He isn't shy, per say, but he isn't very affectionate but still wants to let you know he does love you.

He grew up in a brothel, he’s use to loud and obvious signs of affection and desire so something more subtle and something just between the two of you makes him feel even more loved and comfortable

Though in private he might give you a kiss or two on the lips if you ask nicely, but his cheeks will have a splotch of red on them.

Chifuyu Matsuno ~ Nose kisses

I think he much prefers you kiss him on the nose, but will have absolutely no complaints about kissing you

Obviously

Duh, who wouldn't wanna kiss you, you beautiful bitch

Anyway-

He giggles so cutely when you kiss the tip of his nose

His cheeks turn red and tries to hide his face in either his hands or his hoodie, but you can still see the giant smile

I wanna say he’s more on the innocent side, but he loves to tease you

Sometimes he’ll go in pretending to kiss you on the lips but dupe you only to peck your nose with the sweetest shit eating grin like how-

You make me wanna hit you but also hug you??

Also, I need to say this but,,

The reason he first kissed your nose is because he saw in a romance manga and thought is was adorable and couldn't stop thinking about it

Takashi Mitsuya ~ Palm kisses

Mitsuya is much more mature, especially compared to the rest of his friends

Having to take care of his sisters for so long, he craves to have a break with you every once in a while

Whether it be palm kisses or back of the hand kisses, he just thinks they’re so romantic and pure and mature

He loves to hold your hand too, it just gives him such a giddy feeling inside

O H

Omg I just thought of something

He loves to kiss your fingers and knuckles that's so cute oml

Doesn't matter where you guys are, at home, in public, with toman, he will find a way to bring your hand up to his lips and kiss you

Then he just continues holding your hand like nothing happened?? And like squeezing your hand a few times???? Like sir, time out, please

Takemichi Hanagaki ~ Cheek kisses

This cute little man is innocent as hell.

But that's not for lack of trying!

But his lack of experience gives him some bit of insecurity, surely you would be better off with someone more experienced, right?

Wrong, you loveable dimwit.

Cheek kisses, whether he’s giving or receiving, gives him a sense of innocence, letting him be on the same level as you.

I can't decide if he’d be more flustered kissing you, or if you kiss him

Either way, his face = red

If you want to build up to something more, in other aspects in your relationship too, you’ll have to give him time

Pls he was so nervous the first time you kissed him you practically had to hold his face still.

#tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x you #mikey x reader #draken x reader #chifuyu x reader #mitsuya x reader #takemichi x reader #tokyo revengers headcanons #sano majiro x reader

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thelostgirl21 · 9 months

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Tips for those of you that wish to enjoy Geraskier as a romantic couple, without erasing Jaskier's greyromantic (more specifically sapioromantic) identity.

Alright, here's the deal...

I've recently gone on a very long rant re: how queer baiting has conditioned most of us, in the queer community, to read any emotionally intimate friendship between two same-gender characters as romance.

Because:

A) The lack of officially acknowledged same-gender relationships on screen - in major TV shows and series that aren't specifically about LGBTQ+ themes - has put us in a situation where, if he want to enjoy any same-gender romance at all, we are forced to interpret close "officially platonic" (*cough*StormPilot*cough*) pairings as romantic couples.

B) The TV and movie industries have been purposefully encouraging such perceptions, and inserting as many "romantic cues" as they can into such same-gender "friendships", to keep their LGBTQ+ audience involved in those stories without alienating their more conservative audiences by having to depict some actual queer romances.

So, not only are non-queer people under the impression that it's perfectly typical, for same-gender friends, to constantly become so emotionally and physically close and intimate with each other that they behave as if they are almost dating while also being 100% straight.

But, they don't realize that there is barely any equivalent of straight men/women characters on screen developing such emotionally and physically intimate friendships without them inevitably "getting together" romantically at some point.

Unless one of them is already romantically taken, that is (and even there, a dreaded "love triangle" may occur and they'll still wind up together anyway!).

But, if the boy and the girl are both straight and available, and they behave as you would expect a married couple at some point, obviously they are romantically/sexually into each other! What else?!

If it's two same-gender characters, however?!

Well, it's obviously a friendship all the way (while nevertheless often heavily dousing that friendships with romantic subtext).

And sadly, the way queer baiting has been heavily messing with our perceptions of platonic vs romantic relationships is putting the aromantic community at a huge disadvantage.

What huge disadvantage, I hear you ask?

I mean, after all, if all those emotionally close and intimate relaltionships remain platonic in canon, shouldn't people on the aromantic spectrum be happy about it, and feel represented? Don't they have tons of "queerplatonic ships" to choose from, and enjoy as such?

Sadly, no.

The answer is firm and resounding NO.

Wanna know why?

Because, most of the time, whenever a relationship might read as "potentially queerplatonic", it is virtually never acknowledged as such.

It is virtually never about them.

It has absolutely nothing to do with both, or one, of those characters being on the aromantic spectrum.

When we talk about classic models of "bromances", those are virtually always occurring between two men that are assumed to be otherwise straight (or, at least, one of them is, ex: Jace Herondale & Alec Lightwood from "Shadowhunters"), or two women that are assumed to be otherwise straight (or, at least, one of them is).

When "bromances" occur between a man and a woman (I'm thinking Steve and Robin, from "Stranger Things"), it is usually because one of them is gay.

The implication and the message being sent to us with all those close friendships is thus a very clear:

"You can only achieve such emotionally close (queer)platonic friendships, and/or companionships, because you are not sexually compatible.

Otherwise, you would already be forming a romantic couple, and/or secretly longing to be in one.

If Robin wasn't a lesbian, she and Steve would obviously be dating."

And the reason why Steve and Nancy still love each other that deeply - despite no longer being a couple - is because they still have romantic feelings for each other despite Nancy also having romantic feelings for Jonathan and having chosen him as a romantic partner...

So, that has nothing to do with queerplatonic relationships, either, at all!

Also, can someone please sit these three kids down and have a good discussion regarding polyamorous relationships with them? Thank you!

So, how could anyone on the aromantic spectrum identify with those friendships, and/or feel represented by them, when they are always treated as being either "lesser than" a romance, or "a consolation price" when romance isn't an option?

That's not even bad representation, it's a complete lack of representation!

Yet aromantic love (be it defined as alterous, platonic, etc.) can be as beautiful, intense, and sincere as a romance, and there's a deep, almost spiritual connection there.

It is not "lesser than", but simply different.

The kind of emotional intimacy you share, and the way you connect together with the person you "platonically/alterously fell in love with" feels different.

The relationship dynamic you may achieve together, and the kind of commitment you may choose to make with those friends (that may even become life partners), as well as your needs and expectations, tend to be different than what would be expected of a romantic partnerships, although there can be many overlaps.

Aromantic forms of platonic/alterous love aren't a consolation price when romance isn't an option!

They deserve to be seen and treated as a first choice.

Those relationships provide a unique and profoundly valuable way of emotionally and sometimes even physically (because physical attraction can be sensual rather than sexual, and there are best friends that are comfortable enough to be sexually intimate together without any desire to form a romantic couple, too, by the way) connecting and being intimate with another person.

And what currently makes Geraskier unique in canon, is that they've established that Jaskier, at the very least, would have been 100% compatible with Geralt romantically and sexually (given he's a panromantic pansexual).

What makes the way Jaskier has been canonically falling in love with Geralt different from the usual BrOTPs the queer community are usually offered, however, is the fact that Jaskier's desires for Geralt are not romantic, but platonic in the way aromantic people are known to experience love.

Jaskier having no romantic crush for Geralt would thus not prevent him, at all, from wanting to share a loving relationship, and even perhaps queerplatonic partnership with him.

He could still love him in an amorous way. He could still yearn for sharing some sensual (or even sexual) intimacy with him.

Between having what people typically consider "purely platonic" and "purely romantic" feelings, there is a wonderful universe of affections and attractions for Jaskier and Geralt to explore together!

And aromantic people can experience the same level of heartbreak and loss upon losing their "best friend in the whole wide world" than they would a romantic partner.

I mean, when you listen to Jaskier sing:

Did you ever even care With your swords and your stupid hair?

in "Burn Butcher Burn", I've always felt like it was a callback to the very first things that Jaskier physically noticed about Geralt, and what initally sparked his (platonic? alterous? sensual? sexual? aesthetic? all of the above? other?) attraction for him!

If we compare the way Geralt and Jaskier behave together on screen with queerplatonic partners in real life, there is no proof of anything romantic going on.

I can't stress this enough.

HOWEVER, sadly, queerplatonic partnerships aren't really ever explored and acknowledged as such on screen. So, most people are very unfamiliar with them.

Instead, the TV and movie industry typically makes same-gender characters behave in an amorous manner to suggest romance and bait their queer audience.

AND it took them 4 FREAKING YEAR (we're actually a bit closer to 5 now) to confirm that Jaskier fell in love with Geralt platonically, rather than romantically, while canonically establishing Radovid as being Jaskier's very first sapioromantic crush.

This is where real life collides with fiction in a deeply heartbreaking way, to me...

Because during those 4 years, the queer community has been reading Geraskier as a romantic couple the way they've been taught and conditioned to identify queer romance on screen.

Most of them likely haven't even considered the possibility that Jaskier could have been on the aromantic spectrum, and thus "squishing" (hard) on Geralt rather than "crushing" (romantically) on him.

I don't believe that any of those fans would have had any desire to ignore and/or reject aromantic love and/queerplatonic relationships representation, if they'd known earlier on that Jaskier simply wasn't someone that experiences romantic desires (unless certain very specific conditions are met).

And 2 complete seasons is a very long time for romantic Geraskier fans to get profoundly attached to their ship, and feel somewhat gaslighted by the show's producers and writers when suddenly they're told "Oh no, they were 'just friends' all along! Nothing romantic to see here!"

(Of course, with the establishment of Jaskier as a greyromantic, they were never 'just friends' in the typical sense, but I've feeling that many fans have missed how significant Jaskier experiencing his very first crush was to the narrative.)

So, I believe that the knee-jerk response of pure disbelief that Geraskier could have been representing anything other than a romance can be expected and understood within that context.

HOWEVER, the unfortunate consequence is how that anger and disbelief has lead some fans to claiming that Geraskier can only be read as romantic.

Using some arguments such as: only someone romantically in love with Geralt could ever have experienced the level of heartbreak that Jaskier did, and written a song such as "Burn Butcher Burn", following their breakup.

I've seen some arguing that, if Jaskier's feelings had been "platonic", he wouldn't have been so hurt by their "break-up".

What those that have been shipping Geraskier romantically for over 4 years are truly expressing, I believe, is:

"Once again, I feel like I've been emotionally used and baited by the TV industry that keep on denying any romantic intent whenever they heavily layer a same-gender friendships with romantic subtext; and I can't agree with what they've done, or accept that Geraskier should be read as platonic!"

And I do hear you, I get it, I see how wrong it is that you have been made to feel that way, and I do not believe that you should be forced to embrace Geraskier as being aromantic / queerplatonic, or made to feel guilty for wishing to continue to ship Geraskier romantically.

But what I want to help you realize, is that by using such arguments, what your fellow queer siblings, on the aromantic spectrum, are hearing is:

"The way you love not only does not exist, but even if it did it can't be as strong, nor as valuable, as romantic love."

And that's not okay. The anger and hurt you feel is okay and 100% justified, but insisting that aromantics are not capable of such love, by saying that Jaskier's behavior with Geralt has always been obviously romantic, is not okay!

If you've been using those arguments before, first take the time to acknowledge how you feel, realize that you are not to blame for those feelings, remember you're still an amazing person, and take a fucking deep breath, alright?

Because you're 100% entitled to blame the people that have kept messing with your head and your perceptions through their queerbaiting practices for those mistakes you just made.

If we go purely by classic TV show queerbaiting standards, that relationship did seemingly present itself as romantic. You weren't wrong for seeing romance there.

But queerbaiting isn't real life.

Remember this: queerbaiting is not at all representative of how relationships work in reality.

In reality, you have romantic same-gender relationships that read as romantic and that are romantic.

In reality, you also have queerplatonic relationships that people often mistake as romantic, but are nevertheless queerplatonic.

In reality, queerplatonic relationships do happen between same-gender partners, but also between sexually compatible men and women, too.

In a strongly stereotyped TV and movie world, where relationships are oversimplified and watered down to follow rigid rules and expectations, canon Geraskier is a relationship that feels refreshingly real.

This is the kind of friendship I have with some of my own best friends. I know at least 5 friends (and maybe more, but they're the first 5 faces that popped to mind), for whom I've got 100% platonic feelings for, that I'd feel 100% comfortable rubbing chamomile onto their lovely bottom, alright?

On TV? Thanks to a legacy of queerbaiting, such a scene feels gay as hell!

In real life? Look, if you've pulled a muscle in your buttocks, and a massage will do you good? Pants down, my friend! Pass me that chamomile oil, I'm here for you buddy!

You're a heterosexual man and I'm a pansexual woman? I don't see how that changes anything to the task at hand! Or how that would be supposed to make me suddenly develop romantic feelings for you I've never had! You don't suddenly fall romantically in love with a best friend just because you've *gasped* "touched the butt", for frak's sake!

Just... give me a moment to recover from that ludicrous idea...

So, you want that butt massage or not, dude?

The physical contact might be affectionate, sensual, and feel intimate... but friendships are emotionally and quite often physically (though a bit more rarely sexually) intimate, too.

And demisexuals, like myself, might actually tend to favor and enjoy sensual intimacy (tender caresses, kisses, snuggles, etc.) more than they enjoy sexual intimacy, even with their romantic partners.

So, I can't blame any of you for how you might have instinctively responded to the announcement of Geraskier being canonically platonic.

But, now that it's done, and you've hopefully let that frustration out, I am inviting you to shake off all that queerbaiting conditioning, reclaim power over your own mind, and reflect on how love happens in real life, outside of those distorted TV standards.

I am inviting you to reflect on how those arguments might accidentally be invalidating the love that is experienced by another marginalized queer community.

And hopefully, bringing some measure of comfort to the aromantic community, as well, by letting them know that the vast majority of Geraskier fans that did have that knee-jerk reaction of saying "Geraskier is obviously romantic because there's no way Jaskier would have responded like this, or loved him so much, if there was no romance!" likely have been reacting that way because the TV and movie industries have been constantly "teasing them" with romance, while laughing in their faces and telling them that they are crazy for reading romance into those dynamics (hence why I'm calling it downright gaslighting)!

As aromantics, you did not deserve having your own sexual identity invalidated.

After all, I think this is literally the first time that aromantics have been offered some actual representation on a show that does not specifically revolve around queer characters or queerness, and a chance to openly explore a (queer)platonic ship where one of the two characters is an acknowledged greyromantic.

The last thing you need, is to have people come and mock Jaskier and Geralt's relationship, by saying that it can't be anything other than romance.

But, knowing where that hostile response towards the idea that Geraskier might be platonic comes from, might help you hopefully understand that the hostility wasn't meant for you, and that I'm sure the vast majority of the fans of that pairing would have been more careful, with the way they've been expressing their own hurt, if they'd realized the kind of message it sent.

Because if there are people that should understand how having their own sexuality being erased in fandom hurts - ex: whenever someone decides that they are going to start writing a canonically bisexual or pansexual characters as either straight or gay, depending on the gender of the character they are pairing them with - it should be bisexuals and pansexuals.

So, if you are unfamiliar with sapioromantism, here's what to know:

Sapioromantics are greyromantics that experience romantic attraction towards a person in response to the way they perceive that person's intellect.

This is what awakens their desire to form a romantic bond with another person and, under the right circumstances (because I'm guessing they might also need to find the other person aesthetically attractive, for example), allows them to fall romantically in love.

Otherwise, they can still fall in love with people, but platonically/alterously.

The show officially decided, this season, that Jaskier was to experience his very first crush with Radovid, feel confused about his feelings, sense that there's something different about the way he's attracted towards him, etc.

BUT there's no obligation for you to follow the show canon when it comes to Geraskier.

There's no obligation, at all, to give up on Geraskier as a romantic ship or pairing.

The fact is that Geralt is a deeply intelligent and insightful man, too. So, it's not unrealistic that a sapioromantic could have been attracted to that side of him, and fallen in love with Geralt romantically as well.

Yennefer is another smart, brilliant woman that can absolutely be romantically shipped with a sapioromantic.

There are many, many different types of intelligence, and what Radovid appears to specifically be displaying is more specifically high levels of emotional/relational intelligence, true.

But that's how the show decided to portray the specifics of Jaskier's sapioromantism.

And you won't be erasing a character's sexual identity if you decide to have your own version of Jaskier romantically connecting with other forms of intelligence.

People mention that Geralt, in the books, uses way more words than on the show, and would apparently rather discuss philosophy with Jaskier, at times, than hunt monsters.

You won't be disrespecting or erasing the aromantic community if you make Jaskier become romantically attracted to other models of human intellect.

You really don't have to accept Geraskier as a platonic ship after having grown attached to them as romantic partners for over 4 years! I don't believe it would ever be fair to ask that of you or even remotely necessary!

And, as far as I'm concerned, I'd never dare tell you that you "misread" Geraskier as romantic. I think Joey Batey might have been exploring the idea of Jaskier being an aromantic or greyromantic seeking a queerplatonic relationship with Geralt since seasons one, yes...

However, as he said in interviews, he had never received any clear answer regarding his portrayal of Jaskier's queerness before Season 3.

So, you couldn't really have "misread" something they hadn't fully made up their minds about now, could you?

Queerplatonic relationships do often read as romantic, too, as they tend to share many similarities.

What hurts, is when Jaskier's behavior and the strength of his love for Geralt is being used as proof that his emotions can't be platonic, and/or ignore that Jaskier is being portrayed as a greyromantic in Season 3.

Aromantic representation matters.

I'm therefore hoping that we can find the right balance between allowing everyone to ship their favorite character(s) with who they want romantically if they need to; while at the same time avoiding to erase Jaskier's sapioromantism, and/or arguing that platonic/alterous attractions can't be as important nor as strong as romantic attractions.

I think with a little empathy, the queer community can find the right point of balance between everyone's needs, and be given the opportunity to ship and enjoy Geraskier (queer)platonically and romantically, without invalidating Jaskier's sexuality in the process either way.

I know this post is similar to that other one I'd made, but I've heard few a-spec people saying that they'd had to stop following certain fans, because of the way those fans were were aggressively arguing that it was impossible for Jaskier to have been loving Geralt platonically in Season 1 and Season 2.

And so, I felt it needed to be said again, with this time giving a bit more importance to the aromantic side of that issue, and offering fans that ship Geraskier as a romantic pairing some information on what sapioromantism is, and how you can make Jaskier's greyromantic identity work as part of your own romances and headcanons.

You could decide to have Jaskier experience romantic feelings for the very first time with Geralt (instead of Radovid), and be adorably awkward about it! The possibilities are pretty much endless!

I just hope you can realize that what's happening on the show is not yet again another case of "Stormpilot" or "Stucky", or any other same-gender straight guys acting queer together!

Geraskier is canonically queer. Possibly queerplatonic, but most definitely queer, because Jaskier is a pan greyromantic that fell in love with Geralt in a platonic/alterous way, and might have experienced sensual and sexual desires for him.

It's a queer ship, regardless of whether you ship them platonically or romantically.

Personally, I think I'm likely to enjoy

But that is entirely up to you.

Just please be mindful that, when you start mocking the idea of Jaskier and Geralt having platonic feelings for each other, you are ridiculing a canonically queer ship, as well as the type of love experienced by a canonically queer greyromantic character, though.

This is what I have a problem with.

And no, saying "Well, I can headcanon that Jaskier isn't a greyromantic because he hadn't come out as greyromantic in Season 1 and Season 2, so I'll continue to write him as being able to fall romantically in love with anyone!" is not okay.

Back in 2012, when Mass Effect 3 came out, Kaidan Alenko was revealed to be a canonically bisexual character, available to be romanced by both fem!Shep and m!Shep.

However, since some women were uncomfortable with Kaidan's bisexuality, they decided to continue writing him as straight in fanfiction arguing that, because he could only be romanced by fem!Shep in ME1 (and everyone had thus assumed he was straight since 2008) they were allowed to continue to write him as straight, and ignore the character having been established as bisexual in the 3rd game.

Yet, the fact that Kaidan is bisexual, rather than straight, does not create any obstacle for him to be in a romance with fem! Shep!

There is no rational reason to headcanon him, or continue writing him, as a straight character moving forward once he's come out as bisexual!

"Well, my Kaidan Alenko is straight!"

Congratulations! You are expressing a biphobic view of the character!

Understandingly, the bisexual and pansexual communities were angry about it, and called them out on it.

So, let's not put the aromantic community through the same thing, shall we?

Because there is absolutely no reason to ignore Jaskier being on the aromantic spectrum while romantically pairing him with Geralt, Yennefer, or even both!

If you purely go by the books or the games, it's another story. They have their own canon.

But if you are writing / using the TV show character, Jaskier being a sapioromantic has been made canon, and is not creating any obstacle for him to experience romantic love for other characters than Radovid.

Other characters are plenty intelligent enough to realistically spark a sapioromantic connection with him, should you wish to!

Have Jaskier be intrigued/enamored with some of their intellectual features, and you'll be doing just fine.

If you're unsure how to do that, simply ask.

Ex: once that romantic spark has been ignited, you don't need to have the character continue to constantly obsess about the other character's intellect... I'm demisexual, and I don't keep obsessing about how trustworthy I find my sexual partner to be, despite the fact that my own sexual desires are usually "sparked" by a deep sense of trust/emotional safety with the other person.

There is also the notion that you can occasionally find yourself with an exception that feels different without the character themselves knowing why. Ex: a friend that identified as a lesbian (romantically and sexually) found herself desiring a man for the first time and, to this day, she still has no clue what was special about THAT man, but she decided to go with her instincts rather than "Oh no! It doesn't fit my label or established orientation, and therefore I shall skip a chance at romantic love and sex with this wonderful man!"

You want to introduce a bit of flexibility to Jaskier's sapioromantic instincts? You can do it respectfully, while still finding a way to point out, in your writing, that him having a crush on Geralt, Yennefer, or [insert name of the character here] is still an uncommon occurance.

You can enjoy what you love, without erasing a canonically queer character's identity to suit your own romantic narrative, is basically what I'm saying.

And you can enjoy your own romantic ship, especially, without mocking or belittling a canonically queer aromantic ship (Geraskier).

The rest is 100% up to you!

Our sweet aromantic sisters, brothers, and non-binary siblings deserve some love and visibility, too. And to enjoy things that have been made canonically theirs without becoming the unfortunate casualties of other people's disappointment.

If you hadn't realised canon Geraskier was a queer ship, and/or understood/noticed that Jaskier was being portrayed as a greyromantic that experiences romantic attraction for the first time in Season 3, it's okay.

Once again, I'm not taking the time to explain all this to blame those that jumped on the "b-but... Jaskier so obviously has romantic feelings for Geralt!" conclusion.

Had they been a sexually straight man and woman on a TV show, chances are they'd be "romantic endgame" or at least go through a "romantic phase" (a practice that is deeply wrong and damaging, too, IMHO, and does not allow to properly represent what platonic / alterous love is, and/or offer queerplatonic relationships any actual visibility), yes.

And, like every instance of queerbaiting, it ended up with the close emotional and physical intimacy between them not leading to any romantic conclusion.

But it did lead to a very much queer conclusion, and Jaskier having been portrayed as a character that fell in love with Geralt aromantically, thus being highly representative of a queer community.

This is that "but" that I sincerely hope you now understand, and will be treating with the same care and respect that you want others to show the representation of your own sexuality.

If you are a fellow panromantic/pansexual, or even bisexual, omnisexual, polysexual, etc. Yes, the representation also affects you / is close to you.

But Jaskier has been canonically established as more than pan. He's also a-spec on the romantic side, and it's actually the first label that Batey used to describe his romance with Radovid.

That his romantic desires be triggered specifically by the way he connects with a person's intellect, rather than their gender, matters to the community it represents.

Now that it has been brought to your attention, please do not lose sight of that over your own joy of him being queer, and romantically/sexually compatible with men. It's all I'm humbly asking of you.

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we-pay-for-everything · 9 months

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And to add to insult, it was already a bit surprised the show be renew, so the odds of getting yet another season were really low. So or the Nancy drew writes didn't even really wanted to go there but to please the fans went there the most superficial way just to get over or they thought not giving the fans a really nice last season of them together would maybe have the fans do a #savenancydrew, which it was a bet that they lost, because the show was never a super hit, also the state of cw and tv as a whole. Sucks when writes just don't care enough to end on a high because somehow most of them think angst, separations, other LI, will they won't they, will sell more that. As audience I think all that just water down what supposed to be great love history. Like you said does Nance even love him? They mess up the golden rule of televison, don't tell me something, show me

Yes, the last season should've been more impactful and a homage to the fans and to what the show did best. We love the show because of the characters and their relationships. We didn't need a last season that completely undermined some of these dynamics and was so heavy on new relationships and characters we don't care about. It's bad enough that we lost The Claw lmao.

Nancy and Ace absolutely had the chance to be an epic love story but their relationship is so underdeveloped that it will only ever be a very shippable ship with potential and outlines of greatness. The way Ace and Nancy's friendship developed in seasons 1 and 2, especially in late season 1 and early season 2, was beautiful, but even season 3 was a misstep imo. Park's introduction and the lack of good Nace content in some ways brought their relationship to a halt, especially after Nancy's big revelation in the season 2 finale. The writers also needed to develop their relationship in other fronts. Romance isn't just about jealousy, insecurity, and the revealing and confessing of feelings, and Nace's relationship should've deepened in other ways. More than Nancy relying on Ace, we should've seen Ace rely on Nancy - and Ace actually reaching out for help, or learning how to -, or Nancy being more in tune with Ace. But Ace's insecurities weren't really solved then and certainly won't be solved now, and Nancy was just as distracted by other stuff in season 3 as usual, and we even had an episode of Ace being in trouble and Nancy being clueless about it (because Ace didn't ask for help and she ignored his random request to solve a riddle that in the end took only two seconds to solve). Ace establishing a connection with Nancy by tapping on her shoulder in Morse code was not proof of the strength of their bond lmao. We needed their relationship, both romantic and otherwise, to be developed, so it was less unbalanced and limited to solving cases.

We also deserved an actual relationship between them, which now we won't ever get because the writers wasted the final season on bullshit love triangles and forbidden love stories. We deserved to see how badass Nace really are together, how they can manage their differences and make each other better (since we haven't seen much of that lately), and how Ace can overcome his insecurities and Nancy her fear of commitment and intimacy. A healthy, loving, supportive, equal romantic partnership between is what would elevate their relationship to legendary status - not this forbidden love, possible literal soulmates whatever, angle.

Nace could've been something so beautiful, but the writers are clearly stubborn and uninterested in maturing Nancy. She's forever the girl who can't see past her need to solve cases, or been on a real relationship where she has to compromise, let someone else in, and not just do everything her way. She's the cliché detective type... Usually shows care too much about romance, but in this case it's less about romance and more about how a real romantic relationship would be great for Nancy's growth and character development, but sadly that won't happen.

Nancy may love Ace but truly her immaturity and poor writing make it seem like she doesn't, or like Ace isn't really a priority most of the time - not unless he's in danger and especially not when she feels rejected. *Sigh*

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew #nancy drew #ace [redacted]#ace nancy drew #ace x nancy #nancy #nace #thanks for the ask!

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chainofclovers · 1 year

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Do you personally think tedbecca will become canon

Short answer is I dunno but I decided to write a lot of S3 speculation under the cut. I don't have any spoilers for how the show ends, nor do I want any, but I've watched a lot of interviews and read a lot of reviews and what I type will be informed by the not-spoilery-but-suggestive-about-the-overall-arc vibes of those.

Will Ted/Rebecca become a canonical romance? I'm not sure! For basically all of the things I have predictions and/or feelings about for s3 (Ted/Rebecca relationship, Nate's arc, whether Ted stays in London or returns to Kansas in the medium term or "forever"...), I have a suspicious lack of gut feelings...or rather, all my feelings are like a swinging pendulum of deep convictions and I can easily feel convinced of one outcome then another within the span of a few minutes.

Since you're anonymous I have no idea how much press you've listened to, what fandom spaces you're a part of, whether you're a T/R shipper or not, whether I'm friends with you or not, etc. So I'm going to write this without worrying about offending you and just go for it from the heart, haha.

The press has been a little bit of a rollercoaster for me, especially in terms of Hannah Waddingham's remarks about why she sees more longevity in relationships that aren't just the typical romantic/sexual route, and some of the other writer-actors' (Jason, Brendan, Brett) statements about audience expectation and their awareness of fandom preferences vs. the intentions of the story they're telling. I've actually loved a lot of what they've said, and I've been really frustrated by some people in the fandom calling Hannah an idiot for being tired of all the romance questions or for daring to call those expectations social conditioning when to me they very much are social conditioning. (Even if romance can also be a deep and beautiful thing! I don't feel like she's saying romance is lame! She's saying it's frustrating to zoom in on this one thing and value it above all others! And as a result of her saying that people have said awful things about her personal life and intelligence and that's absolutely uncool!)

I think it's completely possible that these interviews are at least in part about setting realistic expectations that a canonical romantic and sexual relationship between T/R isn't something we are gonna see on our TVs. I don't think these answers are coyness or lies. Really grappling with that possibility has bummed me out a bit more than I expected it to, honestly. I think a T/R romance would be super beautiful and wonderful and would make perfect sense within the larger story being told here.

That being said, I also think it's true that none of the press we've seen so far has explicitly spoiled any endings of this show. I don't feel like the interviewees are being coy and winking to fans, but I also think they've all carefully prepared ways of speaking about this show because they know the barrage of questions they'll face and they want to protect their story. When reporters directly ask if the relationship will be canon, they speak to expectations and societal structures and the soulmate connection between these characters without revealing any plot points. When the writers or actors have gotten more opinionated about the possibility of romance, it's often in the context of questions about fandom expectations or what is "expected" or "unexpected" about the story, and I think it's completely fair and understandable to express genuine frustration for the obsessive, repeat nature of those types of questions when there are so many other things these people would probably love to discuss about their writing and acting choices. They're all smart people who are extremely close to each other and have spent years constructing this story, and I can see myself responding to the repetition and surface-level stuff in a similar manner.

We know there's gonna be a huge component of Ted deciding what his commitment to AFC Richmond is and how his relationship with his son and his feelings about the family he's left behind impact that decision. We know they're setting up storylines in which other characters are learning how to coach, learning how to balance the emotional side and the tactical side. We know this is a story that simultaneously grapples with "leaving well"/letting go/why quitting isn't always bad AND with the complications of space AND with why burying or running away from your emotions while they fester inside you for 30 years is, um, bad. We know the writers have not deviated from their original plans for any of these characters even as they've rewritten and redefined certain things about this season. And we know the writers and actors all agree that Ted and Rebecca are divinely connected even if they've said many kinda contradictory things about what form that takes.

Even knowing all that, I think it's still possible that T/R will be a factor in s3 in a romantic and sexual sense. I have basically prepared myself to not see it on screen, but every time I watch the actual show I'm watching a show that sets up delicate, beautiful connecting points for these characters with intention and purpose. Which is awesome no matter what. If they don't go the romantic route onscreen, I think we'll still be watching a meaningful relationship that is full of possibilities (especially since s3 canon will end in, like, spring 2022, not spring 2058 or something). Some of the choices they've made are things that I'd probably only write if I was setting up a canonical romance, but if a romance doesn't happen within the show I don't think that means those choices were inconsequential or, worse, designed specifically to torment and make fun of fans. This is a show that is loving towards its audience but removed from its audience.

One of the first posts I made about this show was a straightbaiting joke. That seems extra funny now, knowing what I know. As a queer woman who has mostly been involved in fandoms as a femslash shipper up to this point, I can say that a lot of the shipping culture around this show and around M/F ships in general makes me really uncomfortable. I watch the joy of the show drain away from people as they focus deeper and deeper on "Tedbecca" (even to the point of ridiculing people for shipping other stuff or not understanding why it could be a fun exercise to write fic about people who will never be together in canon...which...what? the queer history of fandom didn't happen for canon-or-bust to be such a prevailing attitude!). I even feel some of that drain myself, being in an interesting place as an enthusiastic multi-shipper who just so happens to love T/R (and want to see it happen in canon) to the point of modding a whole discord about it. I love T/R and I love that it feels like a thing that is real and true in the text, and that is something I've rarely gotten to be invested in textually speaking as a queer woman accustomed to living off little subtextual crumbs. This show makes me feel both privileged and desperate.

The whole T/R thing, and the literal years of suspense it's implanted in my brain, has been a really fascinating journey for me. I can honestly say I've never had a suspended state of suspense and wonder about a single topic for this long before. I've waited for other things for this long, but they've all been matters in my personal life that I had some level of control over. Even things like election cycles take less time than this. I think the healthiest thing to do in this situation is to protect each of our viewing experiences and to respect that we're watching the creation of artists who are brilliant and lovely and fallible. To take what serves us from the text and continue to play with it all in our own spaces.

Watching 3x1 was a fuckin' delight of an experience that reminded me why I love this show and why I'm willing to experience the lows and highs of disappointments and joys in a way that just feels a lot more raw than basically any viewing experience or fandom experience I've ever had in the past with anything.

THAT WAS PROBABLY SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR. YOU ASKED A YES/NO QUESTION AND GOT A DIARY ENTRY. BUT I'M NOT ACTUALLY SORRY BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ANON AND IT FELT NICE TO GET THIS OUT. 😂

#ted lasso #hot dork club #meta by me #ted lasso s3 speculation #ted x rebecca #about me #personal #(but fine to reblog if for some reason you want to haha)#fandom things #queer things #oh wait i guess i should tag this as #tedbecca #ope!

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fanfictiondreamscape · 1 year

Text

L.O.V.E. (?)

Name: L.O.V.E. (?)

Genre: angst, angst, angst - more so the remiscent type of angst, and some super slight romance, and super slight vent fic

Pairing: Misc. X GN!Reader

Notes: This is what happens when I feel an oncoming panic attack and need to release whatever messed up stuff my brain is gonna form whether or not I like it.

Fair warning for this little thing here, though: this is not very story based, much rather like a random train of thought. It may also be a little unhinged, but what can one expect when dealing with something that they don’t know how to navigate well in the slightest?

This is also semi-based around the song “LOVE” by PEGGY, emphasis on semi-based. I was hopping between songs that I thought would be able to satiate my sense of despair and partial loathing, but that song was the kicker for this piece.

Below the cut.

(03/01)

This started out okay. This was easy at first. I was blind to the absolute disaster this would be to my wellbeing, but... I still want it. I still crave it. ....Maybe.

Click.

(03/03)

Crying doesn’t help. I’m not externally shaking. There aren’t tears streaming down my face. But it doesn’t feel right to not let it be outward. I can feel my heart pounding in my ears. I can also feel their hands over my ears and eyes when that one sound got me to flinch and freak out. I can feel their fingertips pushing my hair behind my ear, and their palm on one of my cheeks with their lips oh so gingerly pressing the slightest on the other. I can feel their breath on my neck, and their hand on my leg, brushing sweet, simple little circles right by my kneecap. I can feel their hugs, tight and warm and comfortable and nice. I can feel their gaze linger, and the tears that were about shed all because of a cheesy little moment in a TV show. I can feel the vibrations of their voice from behind, and their grip wrapped around my upper arm and my waist. But as much as I can feel, that fails to negate the fact that this is both the beginning and the end. Things are never gonna be exactly the same, not unless years pass by first. This is a whole new door, and the options are limited as to what happens next. Plan as many dates as one can desire, but I’m not them. I don’t have control over their decisions, and I know that I have no right to be particular about what they do with their time. So this shouldn’t sting so much. ... It does. Why does it sting so much? Lack of affection from previous partners? Lack of safety? Understanding? Is it me? Is romance that foreign of a concept? My cynicism can only go on for so long. I can only maintain the thought that love is something that isn’t important for so long.

Click.

(03/07)

At least, in my book, my brain and heart shouldn’t mix. They shouldn’t combine, because if they do, something will happen that I know I’ll come to regret in the future. I know I want this. I know I want the fleetingly teasing touches, the gentle affection, the mutual respect, the comfort, the safe space in the form of people. I know I want it. I know that I find that fact hard. I know that my heart is actively trying to shun that knowledge, and that my brain is trying to enforce it. I never thought that I’d end up here, honestly. I thought that I’d be able to go through life with little worry in this regard. I thought that love would come, and that it would come when necessary, when some unknown force knew that it was time to push it unto me. Is this the universe doing just that, or am I rushing it do that?

Click.

(03/12)

I shouldn’t have done this. That door should never have opened, and I should have never even fathomed letting it materialize. Nothing good comes from pessimism, panic attacks, and persistence. This should be good. I know that, logically, this is good. I know that this has the potential to work. I know that this was the stipulation. The catch-22. The deal with the metaphorical devil. I knew that when I let this happen. When they leave, what do I do? If they’re alone together, I can only accept that fact. That’s all there is to do. I wish I could find the capacity to cry about this.

Click.

(03/14)

I’ve never been in love before this. Never really had a chance to, if I’m being honest. I‘ve always found it cheesy, and my focus was never directed towards something that “shallow”. I’ve been questioning if it really is that shallow, now. This whole deal has been good. Really, it has. It’s nice, feeling like I’m appreciated as opposed to hearing it from the mouth of my mother, father, or family member. Even teachers, bosses, and coworkers can say it and it doesn’t hold as much meaning as the small actions and expressions they direct at me. It only just now dawned on me that this is selfish. I want to love, I want to be loved, and I want to share love. Physical, emotional, mental - I want love to be a part of my life. But they come first, that’s the end of this story. That’s all there is to it. However, love is selfish by nature. Someone wants someone else to themself, or to themselves. They want that person or people to be there with them at all hours of the day. They want to hold their hands, and press fluttering pecks to their pulse points. And now, it’s in my grasp. It’s been in theirs, though, and now I feel awful for thinking about how wrong my thought process has been. ... I have a feeling that I need to calm down before this progresses any futher. That, or I need to up my anti-depressant prescription. Whichever comes first, I guess.

Click.

Slam.

Rustle.

“I need to get some sleep.”

“Still, I’ve never been in love.

Is that something that I want?

Convince me I’m fine,

I’m not losing my mind.

Maybe it’s just not for me.

No!

I don’t need L-O-V-E.

Maybe I’ll just wait and see.

I might need L-O-V-E....”

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scattered-winter · 3 months

Text

tagged by @soleadita im kissing u on the cheek like a mob boss

top 15 tv shows in no particular order !!

911 on abc (found family. whump. angst. absolute batshit insane shenanigans. jennifer love hewitt and angela bassett. ryan guzman getting blood all over him on multiple occasions. what's not to love)

gen:LOCK (season 1 only) (there is no season 2 in ba sing se) (found family and robots and cool animation and cool music and found family and coolest fucking dichotomy between hero and villain and and and)

rwby (the WORLDBUILDING. the WRITING. the CHARACTERS. the WEAPONS. GENUINELY IT GOES SOOO SO SO CRAZY.)

the bear (im not done with it yet and lack of actual real bears ASIDE. this show is so so beautiful and masterfully done. im literally obsessed)

supernatural (UNFORTUNATELY some of the episodes do kinda go hard.)

daredevil (the CINEMATOGRAPHY the DEPRESSED BLOODIED CATHOLIC BOY the INSANE WOMEN the JOHN PAESANO SOUNDTRACK truly this show is unmatched)

zoo netflix. (is it GOOD? no. but it is very fun and involves found family living on a plane solving mysteries and trying to stop the apocalypse so truly. does it even NEED to be good)

agents of shield (again i havent finished it but ouhghgoughhghh......found family.....whump.....literally this show was GAME CHANGING for me. i would not be the whump enjoyer i am today if it weren't for the scene where daisy gets shot point blank and lovingly lowered to the ground by the man who shot her. truly. also huge fan of the asian american female lead who is a complex multifaceted character. love her.)

dc's legends of tomorrow (THEEE goofysilly funtimes show of the century. queer found family superheroes who live on a time traveling spaceship and try to protect the timestream from anomalies. they are very, very bad at their job. a zombie apocalypse breaks out in the middle of the american civil war. a giant fluffy teddy bear named beebo fistfights an ancient time demon. they have to save college student barack obama from gorilla grodd. a unicorn bites one of the character's nipples off. truly the most show ever. perhaps of all time.)

kingdom (netflix) (kdrama) (GENUINELY the best zombie media i have ever seen in my life. barring train to busan maybe. the costume design is gorgeous and the camerawork is gorgeous and the characters are complex and multifaceted and the zombies are fascinating and the entire thing is a commentary on class and poverty. and it's set in medieval korea so they have to fight zombies with SWORDS)

carmen sandiego (fun characters. u learn lots of cool things about lots of cool places. found family. heists. nonexistent romance subplots so it's a HUGE win for the aros. stupid little french detective who wears a banana suit onscreen. et cetera.)

leverage (LITERALLY THE SHOW OF ALL TIME. anti capitalist. found family. heists. the government is a corrupt system that only serves the people in power. christian kane beating people up. multifaceted characters. autistic character that's actually like. presented respectfully. and realistically. alec hardison. insane people.)

avatar the last airbender/legend of korra (they KINDA WENT OFF WITH BENDING.)

arcane (the animation......the tragic sisters.......the music.....)

green lantern the animated series (the animation kinda sucks unfortuantely. however. HOWEVER. it has my boy of all time. with the character arc of all time. and learning how rage and vengeance are harmful to everyone including yourself. and how grief and rage go hand in hand and the only way to heal from it is hope. and and and and and)

leo already tagged the gc so im gonna tag @frigidboy and anyone else who wants to do it :]

#i forget every single url i have ever interacted with as soon as i get tagged in these so im SORRY <////////3 #winter speaks #tag games #watch my shows boy

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isobelleposts · 2 years

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'Mr. Sunshine' and its Answer to the Question "What is Love?"

Lee Byun-hun and Kim Tae-ri as Choi Eugen and Go Ae-sin in 'Mr. Sunshine'

Recently, I’ve found myself loving media wherein romance is only considered a subplot but is also what keeps the watchers hooked for the next episode and the one that comes after that. ‘Mr. Sunshine’ would be one of those shows.

‘Mr. Sunshine’ is what I would consider the most well-produced Korean Drama I have watched so far. Based on both facts and fiction, the show tells a moving story of a romance that blooms between a noblewoman and an American Military officer as they plot to prevent a dark scheme on the country's colonization at night.

Choi Eugene and Go Ae-sin, episode 6 of ‘Mr. Sunshine’

L-O-V-E

There is complete intimacy between Kim Tae-ri and Lee Byung-hun’s characters despite the lack of skinship found throughout the show. Being a noblewoman and an American, Lady Ae-sin and Eugene keep their progressive friendship a secret from the public eye, not only as lovers but as members of a militia called The Righteous Army.

Can I ask you a question since you’re American? What is "love"?

Go Ae-sin, episode 3 of 'Mr. Sunshine'

The transition between Ae-sin’s innocence to her full knowledge of what the English word “love” means and feels was like watching the process of an artist starting out with a clear image in their head, making a mistake, and then having a completely different story sold twice more than the original worth. Ae-sin asked a single question and received several answers.

Let’s do it. Love. With me. Let’s do it together.

Choi Eugene, episode 6 of 'Mr. Sunshine'

One boat ride between the noblewoman and “her wherryman” and the contrast between the world’s then-current tragedies and killings made you understand the experience of how quiet the world could be. The moment that peace was taken away, you suddenly find the desire to have stayed there forever, rowing on and on and never continued watching.

Yoo Yeon-seok as Gu Dong-mae in 'Mr. Sunshine'

HISTORY AND TV

Apart from being what I consider the most well-produced K-Drama, ‘Mr. Sunshine’ is also the most diverse I have encountered so far. Despite so many characters and stories to follow, screenwriter Kim Eun-sook was able to build it all together at a compact pace without letting you feel it was too heavy or difficult to keep up with.

If it’s my fate to survive everything only to die in your hands, then I should.

Gu Dong-mae, episode 7 of ‘Mr. Sunshine’

‘Mr. Sunshine’ was able to have you appreciate its second leads rather than feel completely angry or sorry, as most dramas intend to do. The application of history added to each character’s depth and complexity makes you ponder on life’s ways.

Do you know what the first thing I did after coming to Joseon was? I let everyone know that I was a runaway son of a butcher. Unlike my father, I was able to cut anyone down.

Gu Dong-mae

It was difficult to convince myself that I hated Gu Dong-mae because I didn’t. And it was not only because of his love and help towards the Lady Ae-sin, but for the way his character was structured and written.

The obvious display of different social classes and power led me to think of all the real lives and years lived by people and ancestors, and how so little society has come to change. Similar to ‘Pachinko’, both historical dramas depicted the realities of Korea’s turning point in history and lets you compare it to the present world.

Choi Eugene, episode 24 of 'Mr. Sunshine'

GLORY AND SAD ENDING

This show made me think of several could-have-beens yet somehow never made me choose an alternate ending over what was already provided, despite Eugen and Ae-sin’s absolute deservedness of a peaceful life full of loving each other.

Will our final destination be somewhere between glory and a sad ending?

Go Ae-sin, episode 9 of ‘Mr. Sunshine’

If I had to choose between those two words to describe this ending, I’d rather see it as a glorious one. An ending where two people's love for each other was able to help thousands of the Nation. An ending where Go Ae-sin was able to live and succeed as what she had always wanted to be — a flame that burnt brightly and wilted.

And one day, we can be walking on a street we’re familiar with and go all the way to New York, where you used to live.

Go Ae-sin, episode 16 of ‘Mr. Sunshine’

I like to think that among the several worlds in the universe, Eugene and Ae-sin walk hand in hand in one of them, far from the cries of their dying nation.

(Click HERE for Writing Commissions)

by Isobelle Cruz, 31/05/2022

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hellguarded-moved · 2 years

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Unnecessarily Detailed Dislikes

Muse name: ignis.

Least favorite nickname: iggy.

Least favorite color: something between green and brown ( so olive? )

Least favorite season: winter.

Least favorite weather: sunny ( he doesn’t mind the heat, but hates the light ) and rainy/snowy ( hates the water, enjoys the lack of sunlight ). wind is also annoying.

Least favorite—hot or cold: struggles to properly perceive the temperature of his surroundings thanks to the ability to thermoregulate himself, so he has no preference. although i suppose given his infernal nature he tends to lean towards cold being his least favorite.

Least favorite holiday: christmas.

Least favorite food: pastries that have like... no filling or anything. it’s just too dry and he hates that.

Least favorite flavor: overly sweet things.

Least favorite drink: sugary sodas.

Least favorite scent: vanilla.

Least favorite sound: anything that is loud and high-pitched, like the sound of whistles or sirens.

Least favorite book: badly written romance makes him sigh loudly and shake his head. ( i don’t read books so i don’t have examples. the same kinda goes for the next few questions )

Least favorite movie: most action movies. they seem incredibly forgettable to him because they’re all the same.

Least favorite tv show: sitcoms. he just does not understand the humor.

Least favorite school subject or area of study: physics/chemistry/math. those things.

Least favorite aspect of their job: people getting cocky or rude with him and thinking they can intimidate / overpower him without any consequences.

Least favorite fictional character: none in specific, really.

Least favorite person: his father.

Least favorite trait in others: carelessness ( both towards themselves and towards others ). selfish kinds of people, i guess.

Least favorite place: the underworld.

Least favorite thing to talk about: his past mistakes because he’s a hypocrite that would just love to pretend they don’t exist.

Least favorite thing about themselves: his tendency to run and ghost others once something goes wrong. does he stop though? no.

Least favorite sexual position: taking it, especially from behind.

Least favorite daily chore: waking up.

Least favorite style of clothing: anything that’s too tight-fitting. too much leather. a man cannot move in that.

Least favorite activity: work with computers, or any technology really.

Least favorite superpower: flight or levitation. anything that puts others out of his reach.

Least favorite thing about humanity in general: their greed.

Least favorite thing about being in love: you know what i spent too long on this one in particular. there is nothing. love is the perfect thing, the best end goal to aspire to. if he’s in love, there’s absolutely nothing he dislikes about it. like that’s it, that’s his ideal state of being. let him devote himself to someone. i beg.

Least favorite thing about death: the prospect of aging.

tagged by: @pvremichigan ty!! tagging: @hellhunted @azurescaled @v-iciious @e-temmu @caemthe @diamondborn

#notes. ( “CERBERUS” );#// oh this is a funky meme. unique. i like it #// i also meant to finish this much sooner than i did but hEY adhd what do u mean if i dont finish it immediatelly it does no longer exist?

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peacockss · 2 years

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susan sontag, regarding the pain of others // becca de la rosa, mabel // john darnielle, devil house

emran khan. 36. he/him. film director + screenwriter.

app. skeleton. pinterest. playlist. dynamics (tba).

(short biography + timeline below)

t i m e l i n e.

january 12, 1957 — born in oxford to pakistani parents; his mother helped run a film house (primarily catering to students), while his father worked in one of the cowley factories. as a childhood, it was one of little note.

1975 — begins at ucl. escapes one city to trade it for another. reads for english, but finds a community in the student film circles (for a time).

1979 — emran graduates from university & writes + directs his first film, touring it on the standard circuits. it is received to minor acclaim. this however, does not feel like it is enough.

1981 — emran is weighed in the balance and not found wanting; he accepts the summons, he askes for his desire.

1982 — said desire does not fill his lack.

1986 — begins to repay his debt.

1990 — returns to his writing with a wild fervor -- the stories all seem to hold some hold in their center, some emptiness that is just out of reach. they are well received, highly regarded. and still, this is not enough.

1993 — once again, a return.

hcs + vibes.

when he was an undergrad, studying english lit, he absolutely wanted to write poetry/become a poet; sucks that he doesn’t have the right eye for it (a mar on his ego that he tries to pretend)

if he has a weak spot, it is for his parents, and his mother in particular. on occasion, he brings her to film events, going sunglass-less for the evening so that she might pass undetected. this is his folly, the center of his heart. it is perhaps the one thing that he would not fully cut through to find a story, and even then, he still cuts.

opts for a clean fashion style -- sharp and refined edges, only a few pieces of high quality. if he owns something, it ought to matter. only owns two pair of sunglasses, both identical.

is less meticulous about his home: while it is his set, the set upon which his life is based, it is also his space away from the world, and so reflects the more casual parts of his mind. in other words: it can be kind of a mess.

his films range genres, but tend towards sharp and stark imagery. all of his romances are never actually romances. his latest project is a documentary on the lives of oxford students. it is very much liable to be cruel.

YES he does watch bad reality tv shows. NO he will never tell anyone about this (please someone find out).

will down an espresso shot like a vodka shot. has vile habits re: caffeine.

is very, very quick to smile, less quick when it comes to smoothing over a situation.

in all honesty, is an introvert, but actively pretends he isn’t, especially since in his time at school, he became aware of how everyone was always looking at him, and learned to work with it. still needs his quiet, at the end of it.

(”what the dragon said: a love story” -- catherynne valente)

#— intro

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brightbeautifulthings · 2 years

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Never Ever Getting Back Together by Sophie Gonzales

"If I'm left to snowball, who knows where I might end up? It's a slippery slope from rule-fudger to world domination, and, baby, I'm already enjoying the ride a little too much."

Year Read: 2022

Rating: 3/5

About: Maya's ex-boyfriend, Jordy, is impossible to escape as the brother of a crown princess. It's been two years, and she's still struggling to move on after he cheated on her. When he calls to invite her on a new reality TV show called Second Chance Romance, where Jordy revisits all his old flames in the hopes of sparking a new one, Maya is appalled. Then, she realizes it's her chance to show the world what a manipulative liar Jordy really is. The only problem is that Skye, the girl he cheated with, is going to be on the show too. I received a free e-ARC through NetGalley from the publishers at St. Martin’s Press/Wednesday Books. Trigger warnings: cheating, gaslighting/manipulation, alcohol use, public humiliation.

Thoughts: Sophie Gonzales is one of my go-to authors for queer YA rom-coms, but I didn't quite click with this one. I don't enjoy reality TV, so the setting quickly got old for me. The challenges just seemed silly, and since we have both Maya and Skye's perspectives, all the drama is pretty contrived. We know right away that their hatred for each other is based on a misunderstanding, even if they don't, so it lacks any punch for a proper enemies-to-lovers arc. Maya's character development on letting go of vengeance in order to seek love is also a little over-dramatic (but I'm also an adult reader and well outside the target audience). It’s often funny though, and most of my underlined quotes are Maya roasting Jordy.

Maya is hard to pin down as a main character. She just seems all over the place, with no real plan about how she's going to sabotage the show. Skye is the grounding presence and voice of reason, and I enjoyed her chapters more. The rest of the girls are fairly forgettable, and while I appreciate Gonzales mostly avoiding a bunch of catty girl drama, it lacks realism that there isn't one truly mean girl among them. (Sorry, but I am a girl, and some of us are just mean.) Jordy is a bit of an over-the-top villain, all schmooze and schemes and no substance, and I have no trouble believing he learned absolutely nothing from the experience. Not one of my favorites overall, but I'm sure readers interested in the reality show as a plot device will find more to like about it.

#book review #never ever getting back together #sophie gonzales #lgbtq fiction #ya romance #ya contemporary #wednesday books #st. martin's press #netgalley #3/5 #rating: 3/5 #2022

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tiger-moran · 1 month

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With the following I don't mean people just being sad or disappointed that a particular thing doesn't exist or that there are barely any fics involving whatever they're talking about, I mean when people are trying to compare the two things and only bring up the one supposedly more popular thing essentially just to demean it: people complaining about ace characters in sexual relationships/aro characters in romantic relationships and basically demanding people write more aro/ace characters not in romantic/sexual relationships give me the same feeling as the people complaining about there being far more m/m fics than f/f ones and basically demanding people write more f/f content, and that feeling is not a good one.

With both they always seem to jump to assuming people writing it are not part of that actual group themselves, apparently according to people like this it's pretty much always "straight women" writing m/m fic and it's always "allos" writing relationships with asexual/aromantic people in sexual/romantic relationships. Sorry but I think that is bullshit (and a lot of the time it is just thinly veiled (at best) transphobia, homophobia, biphobia and/or aphobia).

Also most of these people seem to like criticising the content which does exist and the people who created it while still demanding that we all cater to them and their specific wants but they never seem to actually write what they're demanding themselves. If you're so bothered about the disparity between m/m fic and f/f fic then write f/f fic yourself! Or if you're so bothered about there being so much content apparently with asexuals fucking or aro people in romantic relationships and you want content with ace/aro characters without sex and romance, write it yourself!

I mean sure it's a different matter when people are referring to the lack of a specific kind of representation in TV shows or films or something, something that the average person will never be able to create. To a large extent it's also different when it's about published fiction too (especially the traditionally published rather than self published books), but this is about 'just' fanfiction, you know that stuff people are creating and posting for free but I love (this is sarcasm) how certain people seem to go after fanfic writers as if we're absolutely interchangeable with all the people making the high budget TV shows and films or the writers who've made millions out of traditionally published books.

Also why would anyone think essentially calling everyone writing m/m fic straight and women and everyone writing romance and smut with aro/ace characters allo was ever a good idea a/ anyway and b/ when you're still apparently expecting these people to write exactly what you want to read. Sorry but if you call me an allo straight woman just because I write m/m romance and smut with aroace characters then even if I'd ever seriously considered writing the stuff you're basically demanding I write then I'm now going to refuse to ever write it entirely out of spite.

#like I saw a post a few weeks back #which was basically someone demanding fic writers write about aros not in relationships #and complaining about aro characters in romantic relationships #not just saying I wish more of this existed it was more like them #demanding we write it #while insulting existing fics with aro characters #and making it sound like they think anyone who writes an aro character #in a romantic relationship can't possibly be aro themselves #and I'm thinking... no #also that nobody is stopping you from writing and posting that yourself!#and I've seen the 'all the m/m smut is written by straight women' nonsense #too many times to count over the years

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thedavinoparadox · 7 months

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🏖 August Reading Wrap-Up (Part 1) 📚

Selenio, 13th September 2023

Phew. A lot has happened this past August which may be part of the reason why I’m only typing out this wrap-up almost two weeks in September. Oh well, what can you do. At least I’m writing it at all… I have been quite diligent with my reading however and because of this I have decided to split up this month’s wrap-up into two parts (so as not to create one monstrously long post…).

A Castle in the Clouds (Wolkenschloss) by Kerstin Gier (2017)

In this novel, our protagonist (a young girl who has just decided to give up on her A-levels) works and lives in a beautiful chalet up in the mountains of Switzerland and learns to live with (and love) all the little quirks of the old house and its inhabitants. This could probably be called a “cozy mystery” as it holds both romantic, christmassy feelings and mystery/thriller elements. (To preface this: the days in which I was reading this book were so cold and rainy, they almost felt like autumn… so I feel like I had a point in picking it up.) I was looking for something a little bit shorter and lightweight before our trip to Italy and came across this very aggressively lilac cover on my sister’s bookshelf. It seemed quite amusing and the colour – upon further inspection – quite soothing. And lo and behold, I was actually surprised by how much I was enjoying myself. Sure, parts of the plot felt a little foreseeable and a tiny bit unnatural, since some of the characters were lacking in depth and characterization but I was fond of the slight hints of supernatural elements and the subtle magical undertones. All in all, very much worth the read if you’re in search for a cozy, festive winter romance.

Aquila by Ursula Poznanski (2017)

A young German girl, living in Siena for a gap year, suddenly wakes up one morning, having lost her memory spanning the last couple of days. All she has is list of cryptic clues, the accounts of strangers and the sense that something is completely and utterly wrong. And there she goes… doing it again, completely enrapturing me with her words. My favourite thriller author simply did what she does best: creating a story I simply cannot put down, until I’m able to piece together the plot she has so intricately woven. I think Aquila is one of the rare books you can gift to perfectly anybody and still have them enjoy it a great deal. It’s jam-packed with suspense, mystery, riddles and the tiniest bit of romance and overall feels like a movie or tv-show. Everything is vivid and scenic, yet still fast-paced and gripping without being rushed. Perfect pacing and just what I needed to get me into the mood for my travel to Italy.

The Monstrumologist (Der Monstrumologe und das Drachen-Ei) by Rick Yancey (2015)

This story is not only about a professional monster-scientist making the discovery of his lifetime, but also about his assistant learning the truth about himself and perhaps mankind itself. Nothing about this book was expected. I discovered this thoroughly confusing novel stuffed away in the depths of my bookshelf and since I was still looking for something rather light and short to read before the departure (unfortunately I had already finished the other books…), I decided to pick this up on a whim. The first thing, I was struck with, was the writing style. I had expected something childlike and simple, following a well-structured plot. Oh, how absolutely wrong I had been. However I did like the non-linear plotline a lot, although it did often seem as if I was missing the bigger picture safely assume everyone’s motives. Like I had picked up the second book of a trilogy without noticing. To my shame I have to admit, that I didn’t much care about the storyline but rather stayed for the magnificent writing style, as there were a lot of quotable gems throughout it.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo (1831)

Last month’s first classic read and the story of Quasimodo, the hunchbacked bell ringer of the church of Notre Dame and the events involving his adoptive father Claude Frollo, the young dancer Esmeralda, her little goat Djali, the guard Phoebus and the playwright Pierre Gringoire. This audiobook, narrated by Oliver Rohrbeck was yet another step on the ladder of broadening my literary horizon. After reading the first pages of the book, I decided to switch to audiobook as I realized I would not be able to finish it in time otherwise. I don’t know if it was the speaker’s voice or simply my strong longing for visiting France again, but The Hunchback of Notre Dame was one of those classics which I did not only enjoy on an intellectual, but also on the personal amusement level. The characters were very well fleshed out, the humour impeccable and it was impossible to not get sucked into the dramatic plot. I also enjoyed Hugo’s flowery descriptions of places and scenes and the historical information he gave. There is just one question that remains… who ever decided it was a good idea to make this into a children’s movie?

To Sir Phillip, With Love by Julia Quinn (2003)

This is the love story of the fifth Bridgerton child, Eloise and how her correspondence with the brooding but handsome Sir Phillip Crane leads to a dramatic affair when her brothers find out about the secret arrangement. I know, I know… You don’t have to say it. After now reading the fifth instalment of this cursed book series I am no longer able to say I was forced to consume these novels. They have indeed become a guilty pleasure of mine and it has almost become a ritual to pick them up after my sister has finished them, so we can laugh about the more ridiculous scenes at dinner or on the beach (while also sometimes swooning about the more romantic ones). Perhaps I am but a romantic at heart… This book however felt a little less convincing than the other ones I’ve read so far (not that those had ever been really… close to life). Eloise’s Prince Charming just felt a little emotionless and almost dull, simply looking for a mother to his children (and perhaps a woman to warm his bed) in the beginning. A fact which did feel a little bit misogynistic at times. Still, not a bad beach read at all and laughing about some of the humour was worth the pain of the rather… less enjoyable scenes.

You can expect me to post the second part of my Reading Wrap-Up in the next few days!

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akiretv · 9 months

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THE ABSOLUTE ROLLERCOASTER GOMENS 2 HAS BEEN FROM THIS DEMIROMANTIC'S EXPERIENCE (PLUS BLABBERS ABOUT MY LIFE, ADMITTEDLY I DO TAKE A LONG WHILE TO GET TO GOMENS MY BAD)

Shortly after i reentered the good omens fandom, when the date for the second season's release date had been announced, i figured out i was demiromantic, and, that explained a lot-

i sincerely doubt i've ever felt "love" or being "in love" with someone. the only time i ever had an actual relationship was a boyfriend i had for ONE day in fourth grade primary school and, shocker, i'd "confessed to him" out of indirect peer pressure. Aside from demiromantic, i am also pansexual, and there's been times where i slightly confused and mixed up those two seperate attractions. if there was someone i thought was attractive physically, i would ponder in my head--do i see myself holding hands, kissing, going on romantic dinners with them? my heart gave an honest y u c k, so, hard pass. Plus, there also were times where i'd look at my friends, ranging from close and intimate to usual, and ask myself? what if we were together? but i'd always grimace at the thought of going through all of that relationship mumbo jumbo with that person in specific. keyword, in specific.

I do like romance and the hypothetical thought of being in a commited, fullfilling relationship with someone else--it's just that, whether i thought about it towards someone or someone confessed to me, i never felt to be truly close or know that person properly. i can just FEEL it in my bones,, that i'd be head over heels if i only found that one person i truly knew, intimately, for time on end, and that by chance my brain decided that was relationship material. i just know that i am capable of feeling that romantic love, but alas, just haven't yet.

so, arospec kid--surely won't affect how he views romance in media...

NOW, already past the pure, unadulterated self talk, let's get to relationships in media and queerbait, and how sherlock sucked the life out of me istg

i'm amazingly sure that, since little, i got the formula for romance in shows--series--movies pretty quickly:

"main character gets introduced, with his friends, family, motivations.. a pretty girl appears and they lock eyes. those two will be together."

was it a movie, series, i got it from the start. and i'm SURE i'm not the only one, nor that my demiromanticism m a d e me aware of that. what i'm sure of is that it made my viewing experience of all media following those tropes somewhat less interesting. from the endless "will-they-won't-they" to the sudden tension with no build-up,, the usual runtime of half an hour of a movie, or the twenty minute episodic attitude of shows paired alongside tropes like that just could not achieve the intimacy of a friendship before any actual romantic feelings began to sprout, and it made everything more,, bland for me, knowing everything by default.

nonetheless, i surfed the web, i found fandoms, i found SHIPPING and, most importantly, gay people.

nowadays, i still find a similar struggle with canon queer relationships in media, they borrow the same tropes of love at first sight and nearly build up less catching of feelings that only leave you with the pure awkwardness of the rest of the show until an actual confessing. love at first sight, a concept that seemed so alienating to me for SOME REASON that only now i can pick on why...

gay ships were always there but gay ships never happened in the tv. i did know about lgbtq+ people, although just the basics, my parents ARE allies but rarely frequented the subject when i was little, and representation was severely lacking for media a kid like me would watch in the tv, so it was new, exciting--but impossible as it seemed

i then watched sherlock with my parents

the first episode, with the gay jokes sprinkled in--i hesitated, it did get my hopes up, just a bit, but i just knew, watching big bang theory for so long drilled in my brain that gay people are funny for the gayness

nonetheless, i did go into the internet, i did find johnlock, i did find the johnlock conspiracy and tjlc explained.

even though i discovered all that after all four seasons had been released, i never found anything about the johnlock-less ending of it. with enough dignity to avoid spoilers, i never looked for it, but i swear i SAW kissing clips of them two, darned brain of hopeful kid.

after my parents and i ended the series i was silently devastated, and desperately clutched at the theory videos about the whole last season being inside sherlock's mind palace or mary being evil all along

sherlock fucked me up in many ways, queerbait made me hopeless.

fastforward and my dad calls me to watch a show. there's queen music and a funny-walking demon in it who has to look over the antichrist.

for some reason, i dip five minutes after. I DON'T KNOW MAN, prolly my dad just interrupted me playing something but for some reason, destiny didn't want me to be fully aware of good omens then and there.

some time later, i get recommended aretheygay's video on the ineffable husbands--it's funny, interesting and very rewatchable. i recognise the show and watch it on my own. it's great, in general, but the highlight will always be those two, aziraphale and crowley--the ineffable husbands. that six thousand year long slowburn those two had was like THE DREAM for my demiromantic ass, i just didn't know how to put that into words yet, but now i know why i liked them so much.

nonetheless, the show ended with no actual confirmation. of course, those two didn't need to kiss or fucknasty on screen (unlike a couple two i know off from the same show) to CONFIRM they were in love, but it was the adressing of those actual feelings i longed for, even though i already knew the ending of it thanks to the aretheygay video.

for the next years, my only contact with the fandom was rewatching aretheygay's video, seriously I DUNNO i really like it and it's very rewatchable

until i stumbled upon the second season's release date, a relentless countback that filled me with hope for something beyond the stressful end of a school year. with the heart motif in the posters, then in the intro.. the little trinkets of sneak peeks we saw every once in a while from official sources to the loving theories the fandom created, then the box, the playlists...

all throughout that bumpy road i had my heart up in my sleeve, hopeful and optimistic. what i wanted in terms of representation, in CONFIRMATION was for my dad to be aware that these two man-shaped supernatural beings are in love with each other, and for my mom to believe me when i say it'll happen.

but them every happened. two frames of the kiss were leaked and the fandom was split and some had their viewings ruined and other were relieved and...

i was from the side that was even MORE excited than before, assured. of course, it'd been miles better for it to not have happened, but i could just sigh in relief everytime i thought about the bad omens so many past reviews had left about the "bromance". nonetheless, theories started forming. because on the bright side, we had no context to the kiss!! the build up was what mattered after all!! but on the dark side, we had no context for the kiss. it could very well just not be them--paranoia began to set in, thusly.

with relentless confirmations of both my best and worst hypotheticals from the interviews and reviews that came in, i was by the edge of my seat at all times, in anticipation for good omens season 2.

and then it released. and then i watched it with my parents. and then the possibilities for anyone to morph into aziracrow and kiss instead of them became NONE and my belly ached more and more in anticipation of the kiss, plus, the affirmations of explicit non-bromantic feelings from some bits of the episodes was comforting, to say the least

and then metatron appeared. and then everything went romantically downhill. and then every happened. the kiss happened.

it goes without saying that i cried loads and loads.

talks with my mom afterwards revealed me that she and dad had always gotten them gay vibesTM from those two, even with just season 1 to go to which was very funny.

but the thing is, what sprouted all of this train of thought that's doomed to crash in a tragic derailing of my sleep deprived mind is that.. i'd never cried for a couple fall out before. i'd never cheered after a couple had kissed. i'd never been this INVESTED in a relationship.

it was just so beautiful, ineffable husbands, with their six thousand words year plus five minutes long slow burn. i even absolutely loved their kiss, analysis aside, it's odd for me to tolerate a LIVE ACTION smooching--but i was just so YESS GODDAMMIT for this couple exactly. it's a relief, like a long sigh. to see myself enjoy a relationship just as much as the next guy, at last. it gives me hope to see myself enjoy a real life romantic relationship with myself and another person.

i think that what made me so invested in ineffable husbands was the uncertainty of it all. what i'd been basically indoctrinated by queerbait. and that, since i'd known it before for it's unaddressing ending, i already had views that could and WERE subverted. against all odds, they fucking did it.

i don't know what kind of message to get out of this long ass wall of text. you don't have to try either. it's just,, the first time i really talk about my arospec-ism in general, and how i now realise the ways it's affected me since younger.

yep, an arospec good omens fan, i'm the most rare, extraordinary fella out there amirite?

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 #queerbait #queerbaiting #demiromantic #arospec #akirestastic

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